FRED Entertainment

March 16, 2007

Trailer Park: 300 vs. Revenge of the Nerds and How Your Votes Can Help Me Win A Prize

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:28 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Quick note: Want to help me out this week? Go on over to Gather.com where I posted the first chapter of my book, Thank You, Goodnight, in the hopes I can win the First Chapters prize from Simon and Schuster. You’d be doing me a huge solid if I can at least make it to the final rounds and since I’ve never really pimped my book in this space I hope this could be the beginning of something really good or it could mean my writing really sucks and I deserve the mantle of writing a column named Trailer Park. Anyway, thanks for reading… http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976932701
Do you consider yourself a geek?

I ask only because there have been moments in the last week that seem to perfectly illustrate the idea of gripping that lingua franca of oddballs and about how some push it away as far as possible.

When you opened your newspaper, or clicked your way through Digg, on Monday morning the one piece of information which should be old news by now is 300’s triumphant take at the box office over the weekend. It’s success was never in doubt, just how much it was going to pull in was up to debate. I believe even the most aggressive pundits were short a few million in thinking how many people were going to show up to watch a bunch of dudes get all homosocial with one another and then go out to slaughter other humans. The story behind the story here is not so much its financial take but the way in which this movie moved from obscurity to full-on hype by the film’s release.

It honestly started back in July of last year when Gerard Butler, Zack Snyder and the rest of the 300 crew showed up to try and create some momentum for the movie. What should have been a Meet-N-Greet turned into a love fest and it was all thanks to the bright lad at WB who thought, “Let’s create the kind of preview that will leave people talking.”

That was all that had to be thought up in order for this movie to have snowballed into the juggernaut it is today.

Where a lot of people, and by people I mean media hacks who want to lump every marketing campaign that uses the Internet as a means, not as an end, see viral marketing as a failed experiment that ended with the SNAKES ON A PLANE fiasco I can categorically state that the reason why SOAP failed was because it depended on GODZILLA-like ambiguity of its product.

There wasn’t any way that those behind 300 did a little shuffle with their feet as the leached out just enough money shots, had those behind the film come out to embrace it and then followed-up with just small bursts of awareness campaigns that kept the movie in front of you, just not in front of every website and blog that would accept the marketing funds of a studio just hoping for a #1 bow.

So, what does this all have to do with REVENGE OF THE NERDS. Apart from the seemingly disparate time in which they were created and the kind of subject matter inherent in them, these movies show the power of support, support of the public variety.

I can understand that there are some actors that believe that participating isn’t their bag and that the movie should be all that’s important when it comes to the finished product but the funny thing about the Special Panty Raid Edition of NERDS has Curtis Armstrong, Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield and the movie’s director all providing a commentary track for the new DVD. Noticeably absent is ER’s Anthony Edwards who, depending on what really happened, passed on the chance to put his personal stamp on a film that has really defined the nerd experience in the early 80’s for a lot of people who grew up on this film. I can understand that Anthony just wants to forget this movie was what helped establish what would eventually become his empire but it’s just disconcerting that Edwards would eschew this, being the one real hold-out from a cast that involves dudes who have went on to star in an Academy Award winning movie, a successful syndicated television show, an acclaimed television series that will forever provide a sweet royalty check and a director who, well, he made that one movie with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas that I didn’t think completely sucked.

A movie of this comedic resonance deserved a Special Edition if for the only reason that as long as you thought something was funny about it years ago the movie still holds up as something that shouldn’t be ashamed of, but embraced for what it is. It’s great, real great, to see there were some of the pivotal people for NERDS that thought that, as puerile as it may be, it is what it is and so toss the geeks what they really want.
oint is, you have to admire guys who put on capes, acted in front of blue screens, brought a comic book to life and have no compunction about being proud for a movie that speaks to a large segment of the male population. You don’t have to shout from the mountain about every piece of work you do but it’s petty in a Sean Penn “I never want to talk about FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH” sort of way that’s just glaring to witness. Whenever you take a check from someone you have to internalize it somehow, you obviously thought that trading your time for money was OK, and it was just plain great to see the men of this film just ignore the trappings that go along with what some think makes acceptable work of an actor and what does not.

And from the Department That Has No Bearing On Films, The Innocence Mission, a band I would gladly slay a few hippies for if they asked nicely, has a new album that came out this week. If you’re into acts like The Sundays and have been aching for music to have in the background while you watch rain falling you could not do better than these stalwarts of musicianship. As a favor to me, buy it and get mellow. Look for an interview to follow shortly so familiarize yourselves.

SHOOTER (2007)

Director: Antoine Fuqua
Cast:
Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña, Danny Glover, Kate Mara, Elias Koteas, Rhona Mitra, Rade Sherbedgia, Ned Beatty
Release: March 23, 2007
Synopsis:
SHOOTER is an action-packed thriller starring Mark Wahlberg as Bob Lee Swagger, a former Marine Corps sniper who leaves the military after a mission goes bad. After he is reluctantly pressed back into service, Swagger is double-crossed again. With two bullets in him and the subject of a nationwide manhunt, Swagger begins his revenge, which will take down the most powerful people in the country.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Nah. A couple of things:

1. Good for Marky Mark. I really liked him in that middle-of-the-road Oscar contender, THE DEPARTED, let’s be fair that Marty’s re-make wasn’t as good as GOODFELLAS or CASINO, perhaps the AVIATOR, and call it for what it was: passable. What I think that THE DEPARTED did teach me, however, besides the fact that a lot of people bought into cherub-faced Leonardo’s “toughness” was that Marky Mark is really good at this joke called acting or he just has enough charisma that carry him though whatever part he’s given.

2. This movie represents even more responsibility for the pop hip-hopper in a major film. Yes, he had THE ITALIAN JOB but, really, Charlize and the rest of the ensemble was really what helped pull that movie through the box office like a juggernaut.

That said, then, I like the way this movie looks.

I do, however, have some worries that I don’t really need to be at the theater in time when it starts because we’re given all the information we need about this movie in one long introduction. Por ejemplo, when we open up to Marky’s world he’s in the backwoods, evidenced in movies like COMMANDO and CLIFFHANGER the forest is the one refuge where a strong leading man can go for solace or to “regroup” before slugging it out once more for life, liberty and guns, and of course there is something there about why he’s so reclusive. He drinks Bud, most definitely listens to Toby Keith, likes to pump-n-dump with the ladies who obviously dig this kind of guy and, of course, the government wants him for one..,more”¦mission. (By the way, that the hell is up with that Fu-Manchu whispy crap on the boy’s face? Whiskers? Hair? Last night’s conquest?)

So, after we see that Mark can shoot from a mile away with a pimp-ass CGI weapon, that the president is in danger, that he’s one of the “only ones” who could help find this miscreant and, hold the phone, it’s a set-up!

People, I know you’re all, for the most part, smart individuals. Can anyone inform me why I wouldn’t want to just come into this movie a good 20-30 minutes late? We’re almost at the half-way point of this thing yet I know everything I need to get me through this movie without missing a beat.

“I didn’t start it but I am going to see it through.”

This is the BOURNE IDENTITY without insane car chases or exotic locales. I was hoping for a plot twist that didn’t involve a conspiracy where we have people saying how awesome Marky was in his past life as a soldier and that “OMFG! STFU dats pure PWNage lol!!111!!” when Marky gets his cammo all smeared over his face as he comes back for retribution.

I guess the added element Marky’s girl being snatched away from him is fairly original as the sniper hunt near the end of the trailer looks nifty but is it worth a full admission at the theater? Seeing how after I paid to see SNIPER with Tom Beringer and Billy Zane I felt like I had possibly invested in a flick that was marginally worse than THE JERKY BOYS I am not about to get excited at the prospect for a movie that only looks bigger with regard to budget.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (2007)

Director: Martin Weisz
Cast: Jessica Stroup, Reshad Strik, Michael McMillian, Daniella Alonso, Lee Thompson Young, Ben Crowley, Eric Edelstein, Michael Bailey Smith
Release: March 23, 2007
Synopsis: The sequel to the 2006 horror re-make THE HILLS HAVE EYES which grossed over $41 million at the domestic box office, is written by horror legend Wes Craven and Jonathan Craven and will be directed by Martin Weisz. The storyline follows a group of young National Guard trainees who are attacked by mutants during a training mission in the New Mexico desert.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: All Sorts Of Positive. First of all, don’t apologize.

This kind of entertainment needs to only do two things for it to be successful enough, in my book, to qualify as a success:

  1. Exceed it’s budget with the amount it takes in at the box office and home video sales.
  1. Be violent, gory, toss in a little T&A if possible and be devoid of anything resembling a plot or logical thinking.

These are the reasons why everyone who hated the first one will love the second and, if it’s successful like the SAW franchise has been, a third or a fourth.

Too many people will look at movies like this and write it off but I say that this trailer is the reason why it’s going to do well enough. It’s vaguely creepy, the story is set up wonderfully and we get juuuuust enough of a tease to satiate your desire to peep the mutants who live in the hills. Never mind that these freaks managed to move on from where they were in the first movie, we got an emotional buy-in with a child saying hello to her mother via cell phone. With this, we’re put on the hook as it contextualizes the people who inhabit this film. We actually care about one of them at least and it’s not even five seconds into this thing.

We’re given an explanation of why this military-style squad possesses cell technology in the first place “National Guard Training.” Perfect thinking. It’s plausible, reasonable and we get our geographic bearings with two complete thoughts.

Further contextualization reveals that this location ALSO, like our first installment (How very convenient), was the site for nuclear testing; anyone look into the likelihood that there really could be crazed mutants walking the earth with all the people going to the “atomic testing” card that has set up so many films, comics, books, etc”¦, in the past? Geez.

So, these “troops” roll into a deserted base where one of our potential victims says, “Where is everybody?” At this stage in the game wouldn’t it be wise to either radio back to HQ or get the fuck out of there, pronto? Again, here I go, with the logic. I have to stop that. Right, trust in the fact that common sense will lose out to sheer stupidity of our characters.

“Last year”¦The lucky ones died first”¦On March 23″¦The lucky ones die fast. “

The above tagline doesn’t get any more perfect than that. Whoever thought that up deserves their double-mocha, soy, frappuccino on the marketing company’s dime all next week. It’s perfectly aimed at that core 17-25 demo.

Mixed in with all this marketing goodness, and it is good, we get slivers of what the mutants look like; an eye here, some movement here behind a lady who, in my estimation, might be taking a dump (Look for yourself and report back”¦), a body shot and an eerie score all make for some good build-ups.

The various quick shots of our invaders, the promise of heavy firefights with government issued artillery, some choice looks at what might happen to a few of the captured and some unexplained splatter all are excellent choices for a trailer that knows what it is and what it needs to do. The tongue lick at the every end? Every bit of brilliant.

TRADE (2007)

Director: Marco Kreuzpaintner
Cast:
Kevin Kline, Cesar Ramos Ceballos, Alicja Bachleda-Curus, Paulina Gaitani
Release: April 13, 2007
Synopsis: Adriana (Paulina Gaitan) is a 13-year-old girl from Mexico City whose kidnapping by sex traffickers sets in motion a desperate mission by her 17-year-old brother, Jorge (Cesar Ramos), to save her. Trapped and terrified by an underground network of international thugs who earn millions exploiting their human cargo, Adriana’s only friend and protector throughout her ordeal is Veronica (Alicja Bachleda), a young Polish woman tricked into the trade by the same criminal gang. As Jorge dodges immigration officers and incredible obstacles to track the girls’ abductors, he meets Ray (Kevin Kline), a Texas cop whose own family loss to sex trafficking leads him to become an ally in the boy’s quest.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Il Est Excellent. I apologize for going down such a low-brow road but from the New Jersey mouth of Carl in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, “That’s friggin’ awesome.”

I saw a riveting, compelling, and every other shocking ““ing you can stick at the end of some verbs, documentary about the sex trade. It only scratched the thin surface of how people are traded, duped and then become prisoners against their will but this movie looks like a nice representation about the drama of what happens when these women are promised one thing only to land themselves in a quagmire of violence and deceit. So, herein lies the issue: How do you make a trailer that not only coveys this but also ties back to something that Ma and Pa Kettle can understand and relate to back in Bumwad, U.S.A.?

You juxtapose, of course.

I really like, I really do, the image of the densely populated terrain, mountainous, in some country that doesn’t look familiar to me. I’m distant from it but see what happens when we then look at the image of some suburban landscape with all these houses that look alike (I’m deep in the heart of one myself). Large foreign capital, large domestic capital. Little baby in far off land, little baby with domestic mama. Some transference starts to happen but there needs to be more in order for this compare/contrast thing to work.

“Every year more than 1 million people are trafficked across international borders…”

And, pop, we get it. We see a woman who has obviously traveled to some country in the hopes of something, we’re not led to know what it is, but she’s violently taken somewhere. Again, we don’t know.

“”¦Against their will.”

Little girl on a bike. She rides and is then kidnapped. Kevin Kline, so good to see him in something that doesn’t involve buffoonery, holds a flashlight but we don’t know what he’s looking for. The utter silence and lack of story could kill lesser flicks but it’s working like a champ here.

We’re given a little something: Kevin is on the hunt for his daughter. A kid, in search of his younger sister. What’s driving a lot of this is the beautiful cinematography and music that doesn’t play too much into our sympathies but rides the moment we’re in like surfers on a crystal wave. These two men, on a mission, juxtapose with the women who have been taken from their lives and put into a situation where there seems be a little aggravated battery and a whole lot of isolation.

And then, from out of nowhere, the music just takes over and it’s blisteringly sweet to listen to as we see Kline, this brother, his sister and Kline’s daughter struggle physically with what’s happening around them. Emotions are just ebbing and flowing and, oddly, none of this feels maudlin or saccharine.
By the end of this thing it’s hard to realize that this is the kind of thing that happens every single day on this planet without any of us realizing it and this trailer captures that panicking feeling if you found out it happened to someone in your own blood line.

GRINDHOUSE (2007)

Director: Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino
Cast: DEATH PROOF: Kurt Russell, Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Rose McGowan, Michael Bacall, Eli Roth, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Marley Shelton, Tracie Thoms, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Omar Doom PLANET TERROR: Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Naveen Andrews, Marley Shelton, Michael Biehn, Stacy Ferguson, Jeff Fahey, Michael Parks
Release: April 6, 2007
Synopsis: Grindhouse ““ noun ““ A downtown movie theater – in disrepair since its glory days as a movie palace of the ’30s and ’40s – known for “grinding out” non-stop double-bill programs of B-movies.

From groundbreaking directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez comes the ultimate film experience: a double-bill of thrillers that will recall both filmmakers’ favorite exploitation films. “Grindhouse” will be presented as one full-length feature comprised of two individual films helmed separately by each director. Tarantino’s film, “Death Proof,” is a rip-roaring slasher flick where the killer pursues his victims with a car rather than a knife, while Rodriguez’s film explores an alien world eerily familiar to ours in “Planet Terror.” Welcome to the Grindhouse – it’ll tear you in two.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. So, I’m riding along in a car with a new business acquaintance, Amir.

The topic of discussion touches upon Comic-Con and, before letting it known how big of an inward Geek I am, gauging whether divulging the information would be cannon fodder for an uncomfortable hazing with fellow co-workers back at the office, Amir is down with the whole scene. He’s never been to San Diego and wanted to know what the big appeal was in going. I was at a loss to try and put it into words that could wrap around its largess and indescribably strange, and face-meltingly insane, vibe.

But I did relay what happened when Robert Rodriquez and Quentin Tarantino took the stage last year and introduced PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF to the world. The footage that Robert showed just lit the place on fire. Apart from Robert’s insistence that NO ONE even think about doing any kind of recording at all, the moment kind of encapsulated what the Con can be if you want to market right. 300 proved what advance word could do and I would expect nothing less of this production as well.

The problem, though, with marketing this movie by trailer is that you need to beat people into understanding what you’re trying to do with this project. Simply put, it’s two movies, fake trailers and a whole lot of exploitation done out of ironic love for the genre of grindhouse film. Now say that three times fast in a trailer. Somehow, though, that’s exactly what happens when you’re exposed to the marketing campaign right from the beginning.

The trailer lays it right out for all of you out there who are still a little shaky about whether grindhouse is the name of the film that they’re showing or unsure about whether you’re getting one film directed by two different people. Yes, if you’re reading this you’re more than 99% ahead of everyone else in America but look at it from a layperson’s point-of-view. Out of focus camera work, visual cues, narration that takes all of eight seconds to explain everything and the kind of straight off the street vibe that’s unmistakable.

You get Danny Trejo kicking all sorts of ass, money shots galore, Rose McGowan in all her celluloid dissolving glory sexing it up for the rest of us, and an honest-to-God helpful narrator who is thumping us over the head that these are two, separate films.

Cue Robert’s flick with a 30pt font “FIRST” and have it explained to Ma and Pa Kettle. Done. Toss in some Apple-infused graphics that give the whole sequence a dated look, skim over the plot and tease the audience with just enough T&A and unexplained violent confrontations. Done. Oh, and be sure to keep that one sweet sequence of Rose using her prosthetic leg in a ferocious gun battle. The fan boys love that.

Cue Quentin. The challenge here is getting me to stop thinking about guns and guts. I’m not so sure it’s helpful putting Quentin’s last because there’s a lot of talking in this preview and I ain’t keen on so much jibba jabba when I’m postulating why I’m not seeing even more explosions or violence. Yeah, the car crashes are cool and I am pleased as all hell that Kurt “Jack Burton” Russell is in here but I feel kind of limp, sartorially speaking, in that this movie doesn’t feel like an exploitative, derivative homage to wanton sex and violence.

I’ll still see the flicks, no doubt, but I’m already wondering whether I’m going to be more wooed by one or the other.

Weekend Shopping Guide 3/16/07: Bosom Buddies

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:18 am
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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

As if the release of the first season of Family Ties weren’t enough cause for glee in the hearts of those amongst us that came of pop culture age in the 80’s, we get to throw a round of “huzzahs” for the arrival of Bosom Buddies (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$31.99 SRP). Starring Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari in the legendary dual roles of best friends Kip (Hanks) & Henry (Scolari) and their female alter-egos Buffy & Hildegarde. The reason for the cross-dressing? In order to take advantage of the rock bottom rent available in the women’s hotel where their work friend Amy (the much-missed Wendy Jo Sperber) lives. Comedy, as you can guess, ensues… This really is a true comedy classic that is definitely of its time. More seasons, pronto!

 

I was one of those that was disappointed to hear that not only would Pierce Brosnan be absent from the newest James Bond flick, but it would also act as a sort of prequel to the whole franchise, rebooting the whole 007 franchise with a brand new, fresh face as a newly-minted double-o agent. It was a welcome relief that Daniel Craig has slipped right into the role of Bond with nary a misstep, and that film itself – based on Ian Fleming’s first Bond adventure, Casino Royale (Sony, Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.96 SRP) – has managed to update the franchise without wholly abandoning what made it so addictive in the first place. I do miss some of the flights of fancy, and I’m unsure of where they go next, but as a reboot effort, it’s one hell of an evening’s viewing. The 2-disc special edition features a trio of in-depth featurettes and Chris Cornell’s music video.

 

Similar to the Disney Treasures and Nascar Vault releases, a must-have collectible for Marvel comics fans is The Marvel Vault (Becker & Meyer, $49.95 SRP). Billed as a “museum-in-a-book” and written by Roy Thomas and Quick Stop’s own Peter Sanderson, its extensive history of Marvel Comics – reaching all the way back to its origins in the 40’s as Timely Comics and winding up in the present day – is supplemented with numerous reproductions of rare Marvel ephemera, from a Merry Marvel Marching Society membership card to the original Fantastic Four synopsis. It’s an amazing overview of a once mighty company, and the characters and creators that made it so – including names like Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, John Romita, Gene Colan, Mark Gruenwald, John Byrne, Chris Claremont, Gil Kane, John Buscema, and many, many more.

 

I mentioned it back in our holiday shopping guide last year, but the perfect companion piece to The Marvel Vault bears repeating. While writer Roy Thomas’s Stan Lee’s Amazing Marvel Universe (Becker & Meyer/Sterling, $50.00 SRP) would have been a must-have overview of the formative years of Marvel Comics and the equally amazing Lee in its own right, the addition of Stan Lee’s audio remembrances makes it an essential experience for anyone who grew up entranced by Lee’s hyperbolic universe and giddy hucksterism. Attached to the impressive tome is an audio player that, when you come to a cue within the book itself, you can press to hear Stan himself relate stories and anecdotes based on what you’ve just been reading about. In practice, it’s like getting an audio commentary from “The Man” himself, and I can only hope that more books will utilize this unique technology.

 

Shortly after I Love Lucy ended its classic run as one of TV’s most beloved half-hour sitcoms, Lucy & Desi returned for a series of one-hour specials that essentially acted as seasons 7, 8, & 9 of the couple’s comic adventures, expanding the scope a bit. I Love Lucy: The Final Seasons (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) collects all 13 of these Lucy-Desi Comedy Hours, including an incredible slate of bonus materials – rarities like a Desilu/Westinghouse sponsor presentation, original TV spots, original opening and closing titles, original animation, deleted scenes, on-set color footage, and more.

 

Long before he became a fixture on late night, a young midwesterner named Johnny Carson – then just a staff writer on The Red Skelton Show – filled in on-camera at the last minute when his boss got injured in rehearsal. Impressed with what they saw, CBS created The Johnny Carson Show (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) to showcase him. Running just 39 weeks from 1955-56, this DVD features 10 remastered episodes from this rare series, in which Carson proved himself a hilarious sketch comedian and commentator on the still emerging TV landscape. This set also contains a 1958 episode of his popular ABC quiz show Who Do You Trust?, an episode of his short-lived 1956 daytime talk show, and a clip from his 1958 two-week run as guest host on The Jack Paar Show. Here’s hoping for more volumes to come…

 

They’ve done it so many times, that it’s almost becoming old hat to be impressed by the stunning collectibles that make their way out of the geek dream factory that is Sideshow Collectibles. Add to the already impressive roster the 12″-scale Jabba the Hutt figure ($119) and his even more massive Throne Environment ($199). Did I mention just how huge this environment is? Try over 2′ wide and 20 lbs just for the base, and mighty Jabba clocking in at 20″ long and almost a foot high. As the photos below will attest, the level of detail in the rotocast vinyl Jabba and his polystone throne are incredibly faithful to the source material. Beg, borrow, and steal – whatever you do, don’t miss the chance to add these to your collection.

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Partake of half-shell heroics with the complete fourth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP). The 5-disc set features all 40 episodes, plus a pair of featurettes on Shredder and the evil turtle Slash, and a pizza recipe. You know you need a pizza recipe.

 

 

 

In what has become a rather bland wasteland populated by tired ideas and rip-offs, it’s always nice to see a show that feels genuinely fresh. Created by The Powerpuff Girls‘s Craig McCracken, Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) certainly fits the bill. Visually appealing, fun, and witty, it’s a show that I’ve enjoyed introducing my young nephew to. The 2-disc first season set features all 13 episodes, plus an audio commentary on the episode “Store Wars,” a behind-the-scenes featurette, promos, end of episode gags, and a gallery.

 

FBI agent Jack Malone (Anthony LaPaglia) and his team of FBI missing persons experts return in the complete second season of Without A Trace (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), hunting down everything from kids on a hijacked school bus, a soldier just returned from war, a college coach, and more. The 6-disc set features all 24 episodes, plus unaired scenes.

 

 

Even if they just sat there and talked about how much they loved Dr. Who, I would watch the panel assembled onstage for God, The Universe And Everything (Kultur, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP). That panel? Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan, and Arthur C. Clarke, discussing everything from black holes an the Big Bang to aliens and creativity.

 

 

 

It’s a titanic evening of rock ‘n’ roll history documented in Fats & Friends (Time Life, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), a concert featuring Fats Domino, Ray Charles, and Jerry Lee Lewis, with a backing band put together by musical director Paul Shaffer that includes special guest Ronnie Wood. As if the music alone weren’t treat enough, the DVD also contains rehearsal footage with optional commentary from Shaffer, as well as a new interview with Paul.

 

 

Let’s close out this week with a look at the animated-style Darth Vader statue ($80.00) from the fine folks over at Gentle Giant. Standing an impressive 9.5 inches and limited to an edition size of 7000, you know you want one on your shelf.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: 3/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:08 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpg It has been announced by Scholastic, Inc. that 12 million copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows will be printed in the book’s first run, breaking a printing record. While the books are sure to eventually sell, insiders think that this number is way too high, as there are only seven million registered pedophiles in the US.
  • Former gay cowboy and current serial killer hunter Jake Gyllenhaal is in talks to star in a big screen adaptation of DC Comics’s Shazam!. Producers hope to get Gyllenhaal on board as soon as possible, as filming is slated to begin in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.
  • Heather Mills has been asked by British police to refrain from calling the emergency services number unless there is a true emergency. Since Mills and Paul McCartney filed for divorce, Mills has been the subject of a paparazzi frenzy. Mills responded that “if I can’t call the police to come over and shoot the paparazzi or my ex-husband or to help me find my leg, just who in the hell am I supposed to call?”
  • TV personality Regis Philbin is recovering after having bypass surgery. The 75 year old talk show host has recently had chest pains and shortness of breath, which prompted the procedure. We here at QSE News would like to take a moment to recognize all of you who prayed for Philbin’s recovery. Look what you did”¦ jerks.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/16/2007

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Never try and record an ad drunk, even if you’re Orson Welles… (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, let’s really sell that wine… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

March 15, 2007

Music For The Masses: 3/15/07

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:02 am
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Welcome, my friends, to another steamin’ pile of Music for the Masses. How the hell are ya’? Doing well, I hope. Of course, when people ask ME that question, I just say that I’m “hangin’ loose, full of juice and ready for use” because a) it’s true and b) I’m what some might call “a dude.” Now, if you’re not “a dude,” I would caution you against the use of this greeting. Trust me on this one”¦ it sounds creepy coming from a girl. Kind of implies you just got done with Kobe “The First 8 Inches Were Consensual” Bryant, slam dunked Shaq and are looking to complete the hat trick by having me toss my “hot dog” down your well-traveled hallway. Know what I’m saying? Like they say in those Verizon commercials”¦ “Can you hear me know? However, to keep it fair, ladies, I’m going to give you your own snappy greeting. So, next time somebody asks “how the hell you’re doing?,” fire back with something classy like “I’ve got it tucked tight, outta sight, so buy me more drinks if you want to see it tonight.” Shhh”¦ I know. You’re welcome.

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No”¦ the statute of limitations on “Kobe Jokes” is not “up.” Sorry.

But enough about all that, my friends, for we have a couple of choice selections to check out today. That’s right, our proverbial plate is piled high this week with a huge, tasty slice of ShitDisco and, thanks to Double A, a big-ass portion of Fratellis, ladled with love and a gentle hand. Oh yeah, and for dessert, J.D. serves up”¦well, not a goddamned thing. Thanks, J.D.!! So, in his place, I’m running a picture of J.D. in his “tight pants,” a picture of him having sex and a recipe for homemade bolgna. Sound like fun? Well, how’s about we find out?

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Artist: ShitDisco

Album: Kingdom of Fear

Sounds Like: A bunch of kids waving glow sticks while “trancing” to Franz Ferdinand.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever been in a band, but believe me when I tell you that, hands down, one of the most FRUSTRATING parts about being in “THE BAND” is naming the goddamned thing. Sure”¦it sounds easy, I know. But, inevitably, you’ll have one guy in the band, more than likely that damn drummer, who’s not on the same page as the rest of you and will torpedo ideas faster than you can bury Anna Nicole”¦umm, wait a minute. Scratch that one. Bad analogy. Whatever.

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What I’m trying to say is, naming a band is tough. And not for lack of trying. See, I’m the kind of guy that is continually thinking up band names, even during the most mundane of tasks, and believe me when I tell you that I’m giving these guys fucking gold on a daily basis. Don’t believe me? Allow me to illustrate. Just the other day, as I was getting serviced by a hook”¦I mean, my girlfriend”¦I thought it would be cool to name the band either “Jack MayOff and the Gentle Rubs,” “Knob Goblin” or “Sperm Burglar.” Later, as I was taking a shit and reading the latest issues of “Jumbo Jugs,” I thought to myself, “hey, self, how about we name the band ‘Turtlin’ or, even better, ‘Droppin’ Dueces?'” For fuck’s sake, people, I can even get solicited by the Special Olympics (thanks for the mailing labels, guys!!) and came up with smokin’ band names like “Special Ed and the High Fives,” “I’m With Stoopid,” “The Glee Club” and “Helmet Head and the Puddin’ Packs.” See? Like I said, solid fucking gold. Of course, my band won’t use any of these but $20 I just gave names to next year’s Grammy winners. “And the award for best new artist goes to”¦I’m so nervous”¦The Glee Club!!”

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That could have been me there in the back”¦ second from the left”¦ apparently with my thumbs up the asses of the guys in front.

But alas, that drumstick wielding bastard wants something that’s “family friendly,” “marketable” and “looks good on a marquis” and generally hates everything that I come up with. Go figure. Yeah, whatever pal. I have one word for you”¦ShitDisco.

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ShitDisco, attempting to “swirl” the world’s largest glow stick.

No, not as a name for our band. You see, ShitDisco is already the name of a band and they are the hottest thing to come out of Glasgow since Franz Ferdinand and, umm, single malt scotch which, I don’t care what anybody says, tastes like gasoline poured over charcoal. But I digress. ShitDisco also pretty much shoots my drummer’s naming notions right in the ass.

Darlings of the Glasgow house-party/rave scene, ShitDisco is a fun, little band that deftly combines their various influences (disco, punk, pop and funk ) into a cheeky, energetic and confident assortment of tunes. Their U.S. debut, Kingdom of Fear, which features the groups U.K. singles and a handful of new tracks, is packed with hook-heavy songs, vigorous and angular guitar riffs, disco-influenced drums and intriguing tempo shifts. If you are looking for an approximation of the sound here, think Franz Ferdinand meets The Talking Heads. Hey”¦fuck off”¦I said “approximation.” Jeez.

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The entertaining-to-annoying ratio on this disc definitely favors the entertaining, but be forewarned that the album looses steam as it goes. The one notable exception being the second-to-last track, the buzzing, Devo-esque “OK.” Other disc highlights include the U.K. quasi-hits “Disco Blood,” “Kung Fu,” “Reactor Party” and, for me at least, the bombastic, staccato attack of “72 Virgins.” Overall, I found this music kind of hard to wave a glow stick to while I was all hopped up on X, but it’s still a damn good time and if this is what those English and Scottish kids are “raving” to now, bully for them because this is some damn good shit.

But don’t take my word for it. Hop on over and check out a couple of ShitDisco’s better tracks at www.myspace.com/shitdisco. Now, if you’ll excuse me”¦I have to go practice with my band”¦The Bald Brittany’s.

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Yikes! It appears that Billy Corgan has REALLY let himself go.

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Let’s start with a little quiz, shall we?

The Fratellis are:

A) Double A’s favorite new rap group consisting of members of The Wu-Tang Clan and The Wiggles.

B) Some Scottish band who has been around for a few years but is finally making the jump to the States via an iPod commercial.

C) A damn fine pizza place in my home town.

D) A sexual maneuver requiring a tub of raw cookie dough, a slotted spoon, three “little people” and a bottle of 1000 Island Dressing.

If you said B you are correct. If you said C, you are half right (the pizza place is called Fratelli Brothers) and if you guessed A or D, you’ve been reading my diary and I’d appreciate it if you would stop. If you guessed E) The bad guys from the movie Goonies, you get 15 extra dork points.

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As I said, The Fratellis are a band from Scotland who originally released the album Costello Music in September of last year. The only problem with this release was that it was only available “across the pond,” as those uptight Brits like to call it. But then a funny thing happened. In January, those crazy kids at Apple decided to use the band’s song “Flathead” in their new iPod commercial. The song took off, as did the popularity of the band. Now, a scant six months after its initial release, Costello Music is finally available here in the states. And I gotta tell you, this is one of the finest albums I’ve picked up in a long time. Fo’ Shizzle.

The thing that makes this album so damn good is that it is full of energy. If you were to twist my arm, or promise me a box of cookies, I’d say that these guys sound a bit like the Artic Monkeys, but have even more of a frantic, “punk-esque” quality to them. Every song on this album is great and gets you moving, it doesn’t hurt that most of the songs also have great hooks in them, as evident in the first two singles “Flathead” and “Chelsea Dagger.” But the songs don’t rely on the hooks to be good, as some bands think they should.

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Costello Music is a damn fine album and I heartily recommend it to anyone who likes music. Unless you like country music. Or death metal. Or rap. Or blues. Ok, let me put this another way. If you like good, high tempo rock/punk music pick this album up. It is well worth the time and money spent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got a couple of “friends” coming over and I need to get the dressing to room temperature. Peace out.

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Reverb… with J.D.

Since J.D. is pulling a “Studio 60,” or, if you prefer, a “no-show” this week, I thought that I would “save his place” by posting a picture of a hot chick and J.D. wearing a pair of what I will call, for lack of a better term, his Lance “BassMaster’s””¦ because, they”¦ umm, look like jeans you’d wear when you’re “fishin’ for dudes””¦

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That’s it, J.D.!! Wiggle the worm!! WIGGLE the worm!!!

I also thought that it might be nice if you folks at home got a seldom-seen peek at J.D.’s “home life.” So, here’s a picture of J.D. and the “missus” playing a game of “Bury the Bone”¦”

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And, because you are OBVIOUSLY bored enough to have read this far, I thought you might enjoy a recipe for homemade bologna”¦

Homemade Bologna

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Description:

Beef bologna with a delightful garlic and smoke flavor

Yield: 2 rolls/3 lbs

Ingredients:

3 pounds ground chuck (80% lean)
3 Tablespoons Morton’s Tender Quick
1 Cup water
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1 1/2 teaspoons Liquid Smoke

Instructions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix well.

2. Roll into two logs. Wrap in plastic wrap and put in refrigerator for 24 hours.

3. Remove plastic wrap and place logs on greased pan. Bake for ½ hour at 300 degrees Fahrenheit and then 2 ½ hours at 200 degrees Fahrenheit.

4. Allow to cool; store in refrigerator. Slice with sharp knife to desired thickness. Serve with cheese and crackers, or on a sandwich.

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Preparation Time: 15 minutes

Cooking Time: 3 hours

TRY IT!!! IT’S J.D.elicious!!!!!

NEW MUSIC RELEASES”¦ 3/20/07

ARTIST

TITLE

GENRE

LCD SOUNDSYSTEM SOUND OF SILVER ALT
RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, THE DON’T YOU FAKE IT (DELUXE ED) ALT
CIRERA, DANIEL HONESTLY; I LOVE YOU *COUGH* ALT
FOREIGN ISLANDS RESTART NOW! ALT
PONYS, THE TURN THE LIGHTS OUT ALT
A NORTHERN CHORUS THE MILLIONS TOO MANY NOT LISTED
BEATLEJAZZ ALL YOU NEED NOT LISTED
BENEA REACH MONUMENT BINEOTHAN NOT LISTED
CALLAHAN, BILL DIAMOND DANCER NOT LISTED
CASTING CROWNS CASTING CROWNS NOT LISTED
CYANN & BEN SWEET BELIEFS NOT LISTED
DENVER GENTLEMEN INTRODUCING THE DENVER GENTLEM NOT LISTED
DISTANCE MY DEMONS NOT LISTED
DJ T. BODY LANGUAGE VOL. 2 NOT LISTED
EARTH HIBERNACULUM NOT LISTED
EATS TAPES DOS MUTANTES NOT LISTED
ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA BALANCE OF POWER NOT LISTED
EL-P I’LL SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD NOT LISTED
EVERYDAY PROCESS EVERYDAY PROCESS NOT LISTED
EVIDENCE THE WEATHERMAN LP NOT LISTED
FANE, JULIAN OUR NEW QUARTERS NOT LISTED
FUNERAL FROM THESE WOUNDS NOT LISTED
GOMEZ, ROBERT BRAND NEW TOWNS NOT LISTED
GOOD SHOES THE PHOTOS ON MY WALL NOT LISTED
HUBBARD, FREDDIE SUPER BLUE NOT LISTED
I’M FROM BARCELONA LET ME INTRODUCE MY FRIENDS NOT LISTED
IN THIS MOMENT BEAUTIFUL TRAGEDY NOT LISTED
INFIDEL I, OATHBREAKER NOT LISTED
INNOCENCE MISSION WE WALKED IN SONG NOT LISTED
INTELLIGENT HOODLUM SAGA OF A HOODLUM NOT LISTED
J DILLA RUFF DRAFT (2XCD) NOT LISTED
JONES, CHELONIS R. DISLOCATED GENIUS NOT LISTED
KARIZMA A MIND OF IT’S OWN NOT LISTED
KEMP, ROSE A HAND FULL OF HURRICANES NOT LISTED
KING BRITT DEEP AND SEXY 4 NOT LISTED
KING KONG BUNCHA BEANS NOT LISTED
KLUGH, EARL ULTIMATE EARL KLUGH NOT LISTED
LAWS, HUBERT AFRO-CLASSIC NOT LISTED
LIV KRISTINE DEUS EX MACHINA NOT LISTED
LOST EDEN CYCLE REPEATS NOT LISTED
LUSINE PODGELISM NOT LISTED
MASON, WILLY IF THE OCEAN GETS ROUGH NOT LISTED
MASTERPLAN MKII NOT LISTED
MODEST MOUSE WE WERE DEAD BEFORE THE SHIP EVEN SANK NOT LISTED
MYSTIC CIRCLE THE BLOODY PATH OF GOD NOT LISTED
NAILED A PURE WORLD IS A DEAD WORLD NOT LISTED
ONSLAUGHT KILLING PEACE NOT LISTED
PANDA BEAR PERSON PITCH NOT LISTED
PANTALEIMON CLOUDBURST NOT LISTED
RADICAL FACE GHOST NOT LISTED
RED KRAYOLA SOLDIER TALK NOT LISTED
RTX WESTERN XTERMINATOR NOT LISTED
SAPAT MORTISE AND TENON NOT LISTED
SIRENIA NINE DESTINIES AND A DOWNFALL NOT LISTED
SJ ESAU WRONG FACED CAT FEED COLLAPSE NOT LISTED
SWALLOW THE SUN HOPE NOT LISTED
TAYO FABRICLIVE 32 NOT LISTED
TEAM EMBASSADOR SYSTEM OVERLOAD NOT LISTED
TEST SWITCH ISOLATOR LET’S DANCE NOT LISTED
THORN, TRACEY OUT OF THE WOODS NOT LISTED
WEISS, MARY DANGEROUS GAME NOT LISTED
WELCOME SIRS NOT LISTED
ZODIACS GONE NOT LISTED
STONE, JOSS INTRODUCING JOSS STONE POP
BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE STRICTLY RUDE ROCK
BUTLER TRIO, JOHN Grand National ROCK
DAATH The Hinderers ROCK
DRAWING VOICES DRAWING VOICES ROCK
ELECTRA, JUSTINE SOFT ROCK ROCK
ELLIOT YAMIN Elliott Yamin ROCK
HAIL SOCIAL MODERN LOVE & DEATH ROCK
HASTE THE DAY PRESSURE THE HINGES ROCK
Hot Rod Circuit The Underground is a Dying Breed ROCK
JESSE MALIN GLITTER IN THE GUTTER ROCK
JOY ELECTRIC OTHERLY OPUS, THE ROCK
KARLZEN, MARY THE WANDERLUST DIARIES ROCK
LAND OF TALK APPLAUSE CHEER BOO HISS ROCK
LEO, TED AND THE PHARMACISTS LIVING WITH THE LIVING ROCK
LOCUST, THE NEW ERECTIONS ROCK
LOW DRUMS AND GUNS ROCK
MCCARTHY TRENCHING MCCARTHY TRENCHING ROCK
OTHER MEN WAKE UP SWIMMING ROCK
PIERCES, THE THIRTEEN TALES OF LOVE AND REV ROCK
The Snake, The Cross, The Crown Cotton Teeth ROCK
THE TOSSERS Agony ROCK
WIESE, JOHN SOFT PUNK ROCK
WILLOWZ CHAUTAUQUA ROCK
ZINCS, THE BLACK POMPADOUR ROCK
Friends Of Rock-n-Roll, The The Friends Of Rock-n-Roll POP
LOST IN THE TREES Time Taunts Me POP
MAN OF SORROWS Man of Sorrows POP
POISON ARROWS Straight Into The Drift POP
STERLING Cursed POP
VANDEEVER Grace & Speed POP

Well, there you have it, my friends. Sorry for the “shortie,” but please be sure to tune in next week as we check in with the latest from Modest Mouse amongst other things. So, until next week, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!!

Send your Amish Bologna recipes, review copies, assorted hate mail and sundry presents to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

“Oooooh”¦ Shiny.”: An Open Letter to Aaron Sorkin

Filed under: Columns,Oooooh Shiny — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:19 am
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An Open Letter to Aaron Sorkin:

Dear Aaron –

shiny-01.jpgI know it’s probably too late to save Studio 60.

Aaron, man, that show had potential. I Netflixed the pilot weeks before the fall season began and I thought it was a great pilot with lots of potential. But, as a wise professor once lectured to me in a college sociological linguistics course; “when someone tells you that you got a lot of potential, they’re basically telling you that you got a whole lot of nothing.” The professor paused for emphasis, as he would after saying something important (almost as if to say WRITE THIS DOWN, YOU IDIOTS), then he repeated “You got a whole lot of nothing.” Well, Aaron, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip turned its potential into a whole lot of nothing.

“Buy the premise, buy the bit.” You quoted the maxim – or actually, you misquoted it in one of your episodes. According to your newly arrived, temporary supervising writer, “buy the premise, buy the bit” means that you have to establish the premise early in the sketch. That’s not really it. You do have to establish it, but it’s more than that. You have to believe it. You have to BUY IN to the premise. You gotta believe that there is a world in which these truths you establish really are true.

I’m sorry, Aaron – you’re a great writer and I’m a fan. Loved West Wing. Loved Sports Night. Loved The American President, but I’m afraid there are a bunch of premises in your show that I don’t buy.

PREMISE # 1: The main female cast member of Studio 60 can’t tell a joke.

That premise made sense in My Favorite Year, when the character in question was an assistant, but when the character’s stock in trade is comedy, I think that even if she’s not known for telling jokes, I think she would be able to memorize a joke and repeat it. Not only does this premise bother me, but Aaron, buddy – did you think people wouldn’t realize that Matt used the exact same joke that was used in My Favorite Year to illustrate the point? I know. I know. It was an homage. Right.

PREMISE # 2: Jordan McDeere, the Network President spends most of her time worrying about one late night program.

Maybe if she allowed her VP of Late Night (if she had one) to hang out at Studio 60, she would have kept a closer eye on the Dracula tentpole miniseries that apparently self-destructed. Ever since she got pregnant, she has spent more time eating than programming, and unless she’s planning to outbid NBC for the next cycle of The Biggest Loser, the NBS schedule is doomed to failure.

PREMISE #3: The NBS network seems to have miraculously held out from airing reality shows. They didn’t even have a head of alternative programming until very recently.

I guess that makes sense considering there seems to be an overall shortage of Vice Presidents (unless their late night VP went out for a lunch meeting and was kidnapped by Judd Hirsch’s character and is now being held hostage).

PREMISE #4: Matt Albie and Danny Tripp are either so insensitive or stupid that they schedule a sketch about taking hostages while an actual hostage siege is underway.

Despite the utterance of “there is no way this ends well,” neither Matt or Danny thought the real world crisis should prevent them from running the sketch – until, of course, people were killed. In any real life situation, a good producer would have kept the sketch on hold until the outcome of the real crisis was decided.

PREMISE #5: We are supposed to believe that middle aged people from any place in the United States have never heard of Abbott and Costello and their classic “Who’s on First?” sketch.

I understand that you needed to make this happen for the story, Aaron, but I don’t personally buy it. Sure, I’m one of those New Yorkers who watched Abbott and Costello movies every Sunday morning (after Wonderama, or course), but I’m sure mid-westerners had access to Bud and Lou, too. I mean, they started doing the routine in 1938 and it’s been performed and parodied ever since in all media known to man – and a few that aren’t.

PREMISE #6: Apparently, when a show needs help, you just add a blonde.

It might have worked with Melrose Place, but on Studio 60 it didn’t really make an impact. By my count, three blonde women were added to the cast on three different occasions (the English writer Lucy, the alternative programming chief Hallie Gallaway and most recently, the attorney defending the show in a sexual harassment case). Come to think of it, blondes were also added during the run of The West Wing (Emily Procter, Mary McCormack and Kristin Chenoweth). Now, I have nothing against blondes, but next time, to be fair, why not try throwing a brunette or a redhead at the problem? If it doesn’t work, you can always have them dye their hair.

PREMISE #7: Studio 60, the show within the show, is a funny show.>

This may be the toughest premise to buy – and sadly, one of the more crucial. Here is the problem: the show isn’t that funny. In all of the sketches that we’ve seen, I laughed a grand total of… once (it was the “Dateline Santa Claus” predator sketch, in case you’re wondering). It’s all about cause and effect. If the show isn’t funny, and the show isn’t doing well, then it makes sense, but Studio 60 is supposed to be doing fairly well in the ratings. With that show? I don’t think so. By the way, the show’s apparent success is also one of the main problems of the series – the entire series’ story arc was resolved in a couple of episodes. Episode 1 – Studio 60 the sketch show is in trouble after Judd Hirsch rants on air. Matt and Danny are hired to fix the show. Episode 2 – They fix the show and ratings are strong. Huh? Wouldn’t it have been more interesting for it to have taken… oh, I don’t know… FIVE YEARS to get the show back to its ratings glory? Each year should be a struggle to get renewal from NBS, but we never really heard the word “Cancellation” bandied about the studio.

PREMISE #8: It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one guy to write a sketch comedy show.

Early on, it is made clear that Matt Albee writes almost the entire show by himself. Now, I went to the WGA Awards a few weeks ago and watched as no fewer than 25 writers from Saturday Night Live walked up to the stage and accepted their awards. If only Matt Albee was the sole writer of SNL, the Guild would have saved a buttload of cash on award statuettes. Even if we make the leap that Matt writes the show himself, (I guess it’s not that much of a leap considering how lousy the show is), it’s hard to then make a big deal about the writing staff leaving. Yup, that’s right, only a few episodes after Matt makes it clear that he doesn’t need Ricky, Ron or the other writers, he makes a big deal when the writing staff quits. Aaron, it’s hard to have a story point like this mean anything without conflict. Conflict would have been: “I really need these writers. I can’t do without these writers. Oh no! The writers just quit.” It doesn’t really work in this situation: “I don’t need these writers. I write the whole show. Oh No. The writers just quit. Ummm.. So what?”

PREMISE #9: These people have never heard of a rerun.

Okay, I get it. We’re supposed to be worried that several members of the cast are stranded in Nevada with guest star John Goodman. “Oh no! We have a live show in 12 hours!! What’s going to happen???!!!!” If I was the head of NBS late night programming (if they had one), I would have handled that situation like this. “Hello, Danny? Put on a Best of Studio 60 tonight – how about that classic episode from the 80’s with guest host Gary Coleman? That was a really funny one!”

You will notice that for someone with so many issues about this show, I seem to know a lot about it. I never miss it. My wife and I find ourselves yelling at the screen, but we never miss an episode. I guess that’s what matters. Perhaps, the grand irony, Mr. Sorkin, is that if you ever do fix all of the problems with Studio 60, I probably would not watch it as religiously. Now, it’s the show I love to hate. If you fixed it, it might become a show I hate to love.

It is appointment television – I grant you that. However, I also make appointments to go to the dentist – and right now, the dentist makes a lot more sense and doesn’t walk and talk a 360 around the studio for no apparent reason.

What exactly went wrong? I don’t know, but sometimes I feel like I would like to move to the fantasy world in which Studio 60 is meant to take place. I assume that in this world, Matt Santos is happily serving as President of the United States, with his Chief of Staff Josh Lyman at his side. Meanwhile, Josh’s doppelganger, Danny Tripp, is running the venerable Studio 60 television program, a show that has managed to become legendary – no mean feat considering that its sketches are not funny, its running characters barely even limp and two of its female cast members never seem to say a word. In this world, if Studio 60 is a big hit, just imagine what I could do!!

QSE News: 3/15/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:13 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpg
  • While R. Kelly is getting ready to release his next album, Double Up, he is offering fans a chance to get an early listen by calling a number set up to preview some of the new songs. When callers dial the number they will be greeted by a prompt that asks them to press one for new songs and press two if they’d like R. Kelly to come to their house and pee on them.
  • Actress Tori Spelling gave birth to a baby boy on Tuesday.  Both mother and baby, which weighed in at 6 pounds, 6 ounces, are said to be doing well.  The birth itself went off without a complication, except for when the baby burst through Spelling’s stomach and attacked the hospital staff.
  • Part-time actress and full-time hottie, Angelina Jolie, has apparently adopted another child, bringing her total number of children to four.  When asked why she was adopting the three-year old Vietnamese boy, Jolie responded that she had just purchased “a really nice rug and some drapes and the other children just don’t go with it.”
  • Michael Lohan, the estranged father of actress/alcoholic Lindsay Lohan, has been released from a Buffalo prison after serving almost two years for attempted assault and driving while intoxicated.  Lohan says that he has changed his ways and hopes to reconcile with his daughter.  “I have a lot to teach her,” said Lohan. “Like what not to do to attract the cops attention while she’s driving home drunk.  I think I can really help her there.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/15/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:08 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • A little bit from the great W.C. Fields… (Thingamabob)
  • Spinal Tap’s “Listen To The Flower People”… (Thingamabob)
  • Disney’s Pinnochio, scene by scene… (Thingamabob)
  • Belushi, Chase, Hendra, & Guest – a little bit from National Lampoon’s Woodstock evisceration, Lemmings… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 14, 2007

DVD Late Show: My Cancer Year

Filed under: DVD Late Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:38 am

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March 14, 2007

So”¦ where have I been?

Regular readers of this column ““ if there are any left ““ may remember my frequent, if often cryptic, references to various health problems in previous installments. Well, those myriad illnesses and symptoms were but preamble ““ last autumn, I was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in one of my kidneys.

Needless to say, the following weeks and months were kind of crazy as I consulted with a seemingly endless parade of doctors and made long road trips from my home in rural Maine to bustling Boston, where the surgery was eventually carried out. Finally, at the end of January, I had my right kidney removed.

Now, as excuses go, that’s one of my best. Whatever spare time I had before the surgery was spent trying to keep up with paying jobs, and the last month and a half since the surgery have been pure recuperation. It’s only in the last couple of weeks that I’ve felt up to extended stints at the keyboard.

During that enforced absence, though, I found I really missed writing this column. I’ve finally learned not to make too many promises regarding this particular enterprise, but I will make a renewed effort to knock out fresh reviews as frequently as possible. I enjoy watching these flicks and writing about these discs, and a few people have even told me they like reading my reviews.

Hope you enjoy them, too.

As I’m trying to make up for lost time, for the next several columns, I’ll be mixing brand new releases with somewhat older DVD titles (although even those are mostly from within the last few months), and running extra “Capsule Reviews” at the end of every column.

Now, let’s get back to the Late Show“¦ already in progress.

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One of my favorite action/horror films ever, William Lustig’s MANIAC COP (1988), has finally received the quality DVD release it deserves, thanks to the fine folks at Synapse Films.

Previously issued on laserdisc by Elite Entertainment and as a fuzzy full-frame DVD by a budget label best left unnamed, this new release is not only the finest the film has ever looked on home video, but includes all the great extras from the laserdisc as well as a few new features created by Synapse specifically for this edition.

When a psycho killer in a police uniform starts murdering innocent people on the streets of New York, the city is gripped in paranoia and afraid of their own police force. Soon, a young cop named Jack Forrest (Bruce Campbell of EVIL DEAD and BUBBA HO-TEP fame) is wrongfully accused of being the “Maniac Cop” when his wife turns up dead and he’s arrested by his fellow officers. But while Jack may be an unfaithful jerk, he’s no serial killer, so it’s up to his policewoman mistress (Laurene Landon, HUNDRA, I THE JURY) and veteran NYPD detective Frank McCrae (the great Tom Atkins, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, LETHAL WEAPON) to find the real Maniac Cop ““ a scarred, Frankenstein-esque hulk named Matt Cordell (the imposing Robert Z’Dar of SOULTAKER) ““ stop him, and clear Jack’s name.

A great B-movie cast (which also includes William Smith, Richard Roundtree, Sheree North and Sam Raimi!), slick, noir-ish photography, a nearly perfect script by exploitation vet Larry Cohen (IT’S ALIVE, Q, BLACK CAESAR, ORIGINAL GANGSTAS), an evocative score by Jay Chattaway, and gritty direction by William Lustig (VIGILANTE, MANIAC) combine to create a top-notch, fast-paced entertainment, with plenty of thrills, impressive stunts and some genuine scares.

Synapse’s DVD presents MANIAC COP in a brand-new, high definition, 1.85:1 widescreen anamorphic transfer from the original vault materials. The movie looks amazing, with a level of clarity and detail unseen in previous video incarnations. The film has also been given a new DTS 6.1 surround audio mix as well as a crystal Dolby Digital 5.1 version.

There are plenty of extras, including a highly entertaining group commentary (ported over from the LD) with director Lustig, writer Cohen, star Campbell and composer Chattaway. There are several theatrical trailers and TV spots, a still gallery, a bunch of short scenes shot to pad out the running time for Japanese television (featuring Leo Rossi of Lustig’s RELENTLESS), and a new-to-this-DVD on-camera interview with Robert Z’Dar.

As you may have gathered, I’ve been a fan of this movie (and its first sequel) for years, and I’m absolutely thrilled to have this new edition for my DVD library. As I mentioned before, despite its long history on video, it has never looked or sounded as good as it does on this new DVD. Synapse is to be commended for putting in the effort to present this cult favorite in such a high quality package. Strongly recommended.

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BCI Eclipse has acquired the old Crown International exploitation film library, and has been making good use of these classic drive-in crowd pleasers. Crown was around from the Sixties through the Eighties, and their prodigious output covered the gamut from horror films to action flicks to teen comedies ““ any genre that could be produced cheaply and profitably appeal to a young audience.

JOCKS (1986) is one such Crown “classic” from BCI, a college sports and sex comedy with a decidedly unusual supporting cast for the genre.

Directed by exploitation veteran Steve Carver (LONE WOLF MCQUADE, BIG BAD MAMA), JOCKS’s performers include a very young Mariska Hargitay (LAW & ORDER SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT), Tom Shadyac (who later directed the Jim Carrey vehicles LIAR, LIAR and BRUCE ALMIGHTY) and B-movie stalwarts Richard Roundtree (SHAFT) and Christopher Lee (HORROR OF DRACULA, THE DEVIL RIDES OUT).

The story follows a small college tennis (!) team made up of misfit players (including Donald Gibb, REVENGE OF THE NERDS, BLOODSPORT) who travel to Vegas for a tournament, unaware that if they fail to win the championship, their dean (Lee) will shut down the tennis program. Of course, the boys are more interested in partying in the pre-Disneyfied Sin City than playing tennis, and their coach (Roundtree) finds it nearly impossible to ride herd on them. Will they win the tournament and save their team? More importantly, will they get laid?

What, haven’t you seen one of these flicks before?

Despite the racy cover art, the film is relatively tame sexually, with only a little bit of female nudity (not Hargitay, unfortunately) and lots of innuendo. While JOCKS is utterly predictable, the cast is appealing, the pace is good, and the movie is fairly entertaining, if not particularly memorable; the kind of movie that used to endlessly run on Cinemax in the wee hours.

BCI’s DVD is quite nice. It’s a bare-bones package, but the 20-year old movie is given a solid, sharp 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that belies its age and low budget. The film looks damned good. The disc also includes trailers for four other Crown teen comedies of the era, THE BEACH GIRLS, WEEKEND PASS and the popular cable programmers TOMBOY and MY CHAUFFEUR ““ all of which will (hopefully) soon be on DVD from BCI, if they’re not already.

If you happen to remember this movie or just have a fondness for teen comedies of the era, JOCKS is an inexpensive, nicely packaged trip back to the Eighties.

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Disney/Buena Vista has really dropped the ball when it comes to their handling of the Roger Corman film library. They acquired the movies last year with some industry fanfare, assuring Corman and his fans that the company was uniquely positioned to handle the DVDs better than any other studio. Well, a year later, the releases have slowed to a trickle, they continue to offer the titles in an unmatted, full-frame format, and seem determined to give each title the ugliest, most misleading cover art imaginable.

Case in point: Ron Howard’s 1977 directorial debut, the light-hearted car crash comedy GRAND THEFT AUTO, which has been packaged as a FAST AND THE FURIOUS clone and labeled as a “Tricked Out Edition.” Sigh.

In 1976, actor Ron Howard, who was then starring in the hit sitcom HAPPY DAYS, played the lead in a low-budget, rural car chase movie for Roger Corman entitled EAT MY DUST. The movie was hugely successful on the drive-in circuit, and Corman wanted an immediate follow-up in the same vein. Howard was agreeable ““ but only if Corman allowed him to direct the movie as well. Corman agreed. Immediately, Ron and his father, veteran character actor Rance Howard, began to put together the script for a fast-paced, funny car chase flick they called GRAND THEFT AUTO.

Here’s the plot: young Sam (Howard) and Paula (Nancy Morgan) are madly in love and want to get married. Unfortunately, Paula’s wealthy parents object ““ they intend for her to marry rich, spoiled Bigby Powers (Barry Cahill) instead. Paula’s the headstrong type though, and after storming out of her parents’ house, she and Sam steal the family’s Rolls Royce and head for Las Vegas to elope. Paula’s father puts a $25,000 bounty on his daughter, and soon the two young lovers find themselves chased by a motley assortment of pursuers ““ including amateur bounty hunters, inept private eyes, various cops, an ambitious radio DJ in a helicopter, and Paula’s spurned fiancé.

Of course the plot is just there to link the car stunts together, and it works marvelously. In fact, it’s great fun, with plenty of well-staged car crashes, comedic appearances by Ron’s whole family (or, at least, father Rance and brother Clint) and HAPPY DAYS mom Marion Ross, and even a little bit of pointed media satire.

The Buena Vista DVD presents the film in an unmatted, non-anamorphic full-frame 1.33:1 transfer that makes a mockery of Gary Graver’s fine cinematography, leaving far too much image information on the top and bottom of the screen. Picture quality is good, but there’s a bit of dirt and debris that probably could have been digitally cleaned up, if anyone had cared enough to do so. The audio’s been given a decent 5.1 Dolby Digital remix, and it sounds fine.

As for the “Tricked Out” extras, there’s a documentary called “A Family Affair” which is essentially an on-camera interview with Rance Howard and son Clint. Director/star Ron, however, is mysteriously and disappointingly absent. There’s a short introduction to the film by Roger Corman, and the amusing original theatrical trailer.

The best extra, though, is the audio commentary by Corman and Ron Howard, who clearly has fond and vivid memories of his directorial debut. Corman doesn’t contribute a whole lot to the discussion, but the two clearly are enjoying hanging out and watching the movie again, and they’re obviously proud of the film.

And they should be. It’s unassuming, funny, and damned entertaining. I recommend picking it up, even with Disney’s stupid packaging and substandard transfer.

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Originally announced for last November, Classic Media has finally released their first follow-ups to last year’s near-definitive DVD presentation of the original Godzilla film, GOJIRA.

GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN (GOJIRA NO GYAKUSHÛ, 1955) is not only the first Godzilla sequel from Japan’s Toho Studios, but it, much more so than its predecessor, firmly establishes the formula and feel of the long-running and popular kaiju eiga (“monster movie”) series.

Tsukioka, a spotter for a Japanese fishing fleet, is forced to land his plane on a small, uninhabited island. When his fellow pilot, Kobayashi, shows up to rescue him, they witness two giant monsters engaged in mortal combat nearby. Before long, the Japanese authorities realize that a monster closely resembling the first Godzilla (which was definitively killed in the first film) is on the rampage, along with a new creature they call Angurius. Eventually, the two monsters make landfall in Osaka where they resume fighting, and the military once again finds itself helpless before the destructive might of the prehistoric titans.

Directed by Motoyoshi Oda as a quickie follow-up to the surprisingly popular and profitable original, GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN is nonetheless a nifty little monster movie in its own right, and a decent sequel. The tone is somewhat less Apocalyptic than GOJIRA, released just one year before, although not quite as light as later entries would become. It’s also the first in the series to pit the Big G against another monster ““ in this case Angurius (a/k/a Angillas), a mutated ankylosaur. The human characters ““ mostly employees of a large fishing collective ““ are normal, working-class civilians instead of the military professionals and educated scientists of the first film (and most American giant monster flicks of the era), a trend that would continue in subsequent features.

Classic Media’s DVD is another excellent presentation, featuring both the original Japanese version of the film, and the U.S. English-dubbed and edited version (originally released as GIGANTIS THE FIRE MONSTER, although this print does not bear that title, at Toho’s insistance). The two versions look very good for their age ““ although both sport some age-related specks, scratches and other minor damage ““ and are presented in their original 1.33:1 full frame aspect ratios. The U.S. version includes a commentary track by Godzilla expert Steve Ryfle, and there’s an informative featurette on “Suit Acting,” along with a slide show of rare stills and advertising art.

For Godzilla and kaiju fans, this disc is essential. Casual viewers might find it a bit slow and technically primitive, but as far as I’m concerned, they should check it out anyway.

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The same can be said of Classic Media’s presentation of MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA (MOSURA TAI GOJIRA, 1964), directed by original Big G director Ishiro Honda. MVG is probably the best Godzilla film of Sixties, a bright, colorful fantasy with powerful, striking imagery, and some of the series’ most memorable scenes and characters.

When a typhoon leaves a giant egg washed up near a small coastal village, enterprising entrepreneurs buy it from the villagers and make plans to build a theme park around it. Soon, two small, fairy-like women appear, and beg the greedy businessmen to return the egg to its parent, Mothra, the giant moth god of Infant Island. If the egg is not returned, they warn, there’s gonna be trouble. Of course, they are rebuffed and their warning ignored. Meanwhile, Godzilla reawakens from a coma and digs his way out of the ground where King Kong had left him buried in the previous film, and sets out for the the freedom of the sea ““ and coincidentally(?) making a beeline toward Mothra’s egg. Let the rumble begin!

Like the other new Classic Media Godzilla discs, MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA includes both the original Japanese version as well as the American version, originally released in the U.S by American-International Pictures under the title GODZILLA VS. THE THING.

While both transfers are very sharp and vivid, the U.S. version is presented in an incorrect aspect ratio. Instead of the “Tohoscope” 2.35:1 ratio, the best and most complete print of GODZILLA VS. THE THING that Classic Media could get their hands on had been cropped to 1.85:1 dimensions, losing a bit of picture information on both sides of the screen. Personally, I can live with it ““ I’m probably only going to be watching the Japanese version from now on anyway ““ but I can understand why some fans, especially those who grew up with the AIP version, might be unhappy.

Extras include a commentary by kaiju experts Ed Godziszewski and Steve Ryfle, an animated still gallery/slideshow, the original theatrical trailer, and a biography of musical composer Akira Ifukube.

Despite the aspect ratio problem on GODZILLA VS. THE THING, I still have to recommend this disc to fans of the Big G and the giant monster genre. It’s the best presentation of the film available domestically and the first time the Japanese version’s been released on U.S. home video.

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Another favorite Saturday Morning television program from my childhood, Filmation Studio’s live-action SPACE ACADEMY ““ THE COMPLETE SERIES (1977) has made its way to DVD due to the fine folks at BCI Eclipse.

Set in the “Star Year” 3732, the short-lived series (it mutated into JASON OF STAR COMMAND a year later) chronicled the adventures of a group of young space cadets lead by handsome Chris Gentry (Ric Carrot, THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS) and his telepathic sister Laura, (popular 60’s and 70’s child actress Pamelyn Ferdin). Other cadets include Brian Tochi, Ty Henderson, Eric Greene and the incredibly hot Maggie Cooper (AN EYE FOR AN EYE). Under the tutelage of their teacher, Commander Isaac Gampu (Jonathan Harris of LOST IN SPACE), the earnest young cadets learned important lessons about honor, duty and life while exploring the galaxy and unraveling the mysteries of the universe.

Shot on a very low budget, SPACE ACADEMY is surprisingly well crafted, with good production values, set and costumes, not to mention high-quality, pre-CGI special effects that rival those produced for other 70’s sci-fi projects, including the vastly more expensive SPACE: 1999. Nowadays, it’s common to call such handcrafted, painstaking miniature work “cheesy,” especially when compared to today’s hi-tech, computer-created effects, but that’s just insulting, ignorant and inaccurate. SPACE ACADEMY boasts damned fine effects work and it adds immeasurably to the show’s charm. In fact, effects supervisor Chuck Comisky went on to supervise the effects on Roger Corman’s BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, and some of his crewmembers worked on STAR WARS and its sequels.

Scripts are a mixed bag ““ ranging from some thought-provoking sci-fi and effective character studies to childish kid’s space adventures, but the cast is likeable and every half-hour episode is entertaining, each delivering the obligatory moral just before the end credits.

BCI/Eclipse’s DVD set includes all 15 episodes of the single season on 4 discs. The full frame transfers look very good for their age. Not pristine, but much better than the ARK II episodes that BCI released on DVD last year. Like their previous Filmation sets, BCI has included plenty of nostalgic bonus features, including a half-hour documentary/cast reunion and two episode commentary tracks with producer Lou Scheimer, cast members Carrot, Tochi and Greene, and effects supervisor Comisky. There’s an extensive still gallery, all the episode scripts on DVD-ROM, commercial bumpers and more.

The only disappointment in this fine DVD set is that neither Pamelyn Ferdin (Laura) nor Maggie Cooper (Adrian) were involved in the reunion/documentary. It’s a shame, because Ferdin was one of the most prolific and familiar child actresses of the era and probably has some great stories, while Maggie Cooper was… well, a babe.

For anyone who bought the company’s previous ARK II release, this would make a great companion set (and not just because frugal Filmation recycled the fiberglass nose section of the Ark for the “Seeker” spaceship!). Highly recommended for fans of 70’s sci-fi television, and aging genre buffs like me.

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No doubt expecting resurgence in interest about the late George Reeves after the release of the big-budget docudrama/murder mystery, HOLLYWOODLAND, VCI has recently issued two of the SUPERMAN television star’s 50’s B-movies together on a new disc. The resulting DVD, THE GEORGE REEVES DOUBLE FEATURE ““ THUNDER IN THE PINES/JUNGLE GODDESS (both 1948), is an entertaining if old-fashioned double bill, featuring the charismatic actor in a couple of decent low budget adventures.

In THUNDER IN THE PINES, George is a lumberjack, who is roped by Lyle Talbot (GLEN OR GLENDA, MESA OF LOST WOMEN) into a logging competition with his best friend (original DICK TRACY serial star Ralph Byrd) for both the love of a sultry French tart (Denise Darcel) and a lucrative lumber contract.

Presented in full-frame sepia tone, this Robert Edwards-directed, hour-long programmer is an amusing time-killer that benefits greatly from the good old boy chemistry between the male leads, plenty of logging stock footage, and a playful script full of good-natured humor.

The companion feature, JUNGLE GODDESS, once again teams Reeves and Byrd, this time as African adventurers who set out into the wilderness in search of a missing heiress. Of course, when they find the beautiful blonde (Wanda McKay), they discover that she’s become the “white goddess” of a hostile native tribe, and getting her back to civilization won’t be easy.

Clocking in at just over an hour, JUNGLE GODDESS is less fun than PINES, but fortunately too short to get really boring. Director Lewis D. Collins, who specialized in B-westerns, wrings what interest he can out of the simplistic script and cheap “jungle” sets, while Reeves and Byrd attempt to bring a little depth to their stock characters.

VCI presents both films, which are making their home video debuts, in decent full-frame transfers that show only minimal wear and age-related damage. The mono sound is clear and balanced. The disc is loaded with Reeves-centric extra features, including a multi-part documentary, a photo gallery, well-written bios, several text essays and more.

While neither film on this disc is a classic, they’re short, fun B-flicks that allow Reeves to ably demonstrate the charm and charisma that made him so memorable as TV’s Superman. For comic book fans, there’s also the added entertainment value of seeing “Superman” and “Dick Tracy” together on screen.

Recommended for Reeves fans and old movie buffs.

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I’ve been a fan of Mike Mignola’s Hellboy character since his first comic book appearance a decade or so ago. It’s been gratifying to see the character’s success over the years in both print and other media. I enjoyed Guillermo Del Toro’s live-action feature film, and looked forward with great anticipation to the direct-to-DVD/cable feature, HELLBOY ANIMATED: THE SWORD OF STORMS (2006).

Fortunately, I was not disappointed.

SWORD OF STORMS sends Hellboy (voiced by Ron Perlman, reprising his movie role) and his fellow BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) agents ““ pyrokinetic Liz (Selma Blair) and fishman Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) ““ to the Orient, where they must face off against demons of Thunder & Lightning, a dragon, and a bunch of cannibalistic floating heads. The story incorporates elements from a number of Mignola’s stories, and successfully captures the tone and feel of the original comics (and live-action film).

The animation is quite nice ““ maybe not Disney quality, but very good for a direct-to-disc production. The character designs may not be 100% faithful to Mignola’s comic book drawings, but they are attractive and well conceived. The voice work ““ by most of the first film’s cast ““ is top notch across the board. Overall, it’s a very respectable effort by director Tad Stones and his crew, and I can’t wait for the already in-production sequel.

Anchor Bay presents SWORD OF STORMS in a crystal-sharp 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, augmented by a vibrant Dolby 5.1 sound track. The disc is heavily loaded with a half-dozen slick featurettes covering all aspects of the production, and a commentary track by creator Mignola, director Stone and co-director Phil Weinstein. There are even teaser trailers for the sequel film and a forthcoming Hellboy video game.

Personally, I loved it, and can’t wait for the sequel. Highly recommended for fans of the character and animation buffs in general.

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VOODOO MOON (2005) is one of several recent horror movie releases from Anchor Bay and director Kevin VanHook (THE FALLEN ONES). I really hope the others are better.

Filled with familiar genre personalities such as Eric Mabius (THE CROW: SALVATION, RESIDENT EVIL), Charisma Carpenter (TV’s BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and ANGEL), Jeffrey Combs (RE-ANIMATOR, THE FRIGHTENERS), Dee Wallace (THE HOWLING, THE FRIGHTENERS) and John Amos (BEASTMASTER), the inexplicably titled VOODOO MOON has a decidedly comic book plot (fitting, as director Van Hook is a former comic book writer and artist), some slick special effects, and an unfortunately sluggish pace.

Twenty years before the film’s story begins, two siblings (Mabius and Carpenter) survived a demonic massacre in their Southern hometown. Now, the brother, Cole ““ who has apparently become something of an occult super-hero in the intervening years ““ has returned to recruit his sister (who is prone to prophetic, plot-vital visions) for a final confrontation with the demon responsible for the deaths of their family and neighbors. Joining them are several other folks, all people that Cole has helped fight evil over the years, including an outlaw biker (Amos), a traumatized cop (Combs) and a neurotic healer (Wallace).

The creakily familiar storyline might have worked in more capable hands, but damn, is VOODOO MOON talky! I fell asleep repeatedly during the running time, and when I tried watching the second half again for this review, I dozed off again. I guess this played on the Sci-Fi Channel, and maybe with lots of long commercial breaks the slow pacing wouldn’t seem quite so noticeable, but still”¦

It doesn’t help that the villain, when we finally meet him, isn’t particularly intimidating, nor that “voodoo” has almost nothing whatsoever to do with the plot of a film called VOODOO MOON.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is up to its usual high technical standards, with a virtually perfect 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and crisp Dolby 5.1 sound. There are two “making of” documentaries that are somewhat more involving than the feature, deleted scenes, a still gallery, and trailers for this and other Anchor Bay horror titles.

Ultimately, a good cast and slick computer effects can’t make up for a weak script and uninspired direction. Here’s hoping that the other VanHook titles on my desk (SLAYER and DEATH ROW) are better.

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When I was in high school, the A-V department used to get these thick, phone book-sized catalogs for 16mm rental films. Along with the expected “educational” variety of cinema, there were hundreds of entertainment features included; many of the listings illustrated with the original newspaper ad slicks. Since the school usually discarded these catalogs, I snagged them whenever I could. For an embryonic film buff in the pre-video era, these catalogs were far more educational and exhaustive than most available reference books, listing movies across the broad spectrum of cinema ““ everything from foreign art house fare to Hollywood “classics” to the most obscure drive-in programmers. It was in one of these catalogs that I first saw the listing for THAT MAN BOLT, and became obsessed with seeing it.

It only took me nearly thirty years…!

THAT MAN BOLT (1973) begins with international freelance courier Jefferson Bolt (Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, HELL UP IN HARLEM, BUCKTOWN, THREE THE HARD WAY) practicing martial arts in a Macao prison cell. Soon, he’s visited by a “government” operative (the nation involved is never named, but the agent certainly appears to be British), who offers him a job carrying a cool million in American currency from Hong Kong to Mexico City, via Los Angeles.

The suave, well-dressed Bolt never makes it to Mexico, though, as he’s waylaid in L.A. by mobsters that seem intent on snagging his briefcase full of cash. Soon, neither Bolt nor the audience is sure whether the money is real or counterfeit (and you know, I’m still not quite sure how it turned out), people are dying left and right, and Bolt’s on his way back to the orient for a kung fu confrontation in Hong Kong.

I love this movie. Can’t even begin to figure out the story, but I love the movie anyway. Fred Williamson’s always been my favorite Blaxploitation lead, and Jefferson Bolt is clearly his attempt at creating a more general-audience, mass-market hero along the lines of James Bond. Bolt is a former captain of U.S. Special Forces, graduate of Cal Tech and MIT with a master’s degree in physics, and a black belt in karate. He wears expensive suits, has several cool apartments around the world, uses telescopic sunglasses, and possesses an upscale persona right out of the Ian Fleming playbook. Even the sex scenes are handled tastefully off-screen, as in the early Bond films.

The pacing is fast, the Hong Kong photography is beautiful, the funky score is great, and the unbeatable combination of Williamson’s sideburns, Alpha male machismo and cigar-chewing charisma carry the film, even as the plot continues to deteriorate with each additional minute of running time.

THAT MAN BOLT is available on a “Soul Showcase” DVD from Universal, which presents the film in a beautiful, crisp 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer with clear, Dolby Stereo sound. There are no extras included.

A great Saturday afternoon time-killer and a must-see for fans of “The Hammer.”

 

 

CAPSULE REVIEWS!

In another attempt to catch up with the mountain of notable discs that piled up during my hiatus, I’m incorporating my own new “Bonus Feature” into DVD Late Show ““ “Capsule Reviews” ““ super short and to the point! To begin, here’s a half-dozen DVDs that are long overdue for some Late Show attention:

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GROOVIE GOOLIES “SATURDAY MOURNING COLLECTION” (1970-71). Another fine Filmation TV cartoon series set from BCI/Eclipse’s Ink & PAINT label, GOOLIES includes all 16 episodes of this amusingly macabre LAUGH-IN-inspired animated sketch comedy on 3 discs, and they look fantastic. If you can shut off or suppress your adult cynicism, your inner 10-year-old will love each pun laden, bubblegum pop song filled installment! Loaded with entertaining extras, including 2 episode commentaries, image galleries, liner notes, sing alongs, a strange 45-minute docu-comedy by fans of the show, and a candid interview with Filmation head honcho Lou Scheimer, GROOVIE GOOLIES is a trick and a treat any time of year for nostalgic monster movie fans!

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THE ROCKFORD FILES: SEASON THREE (1976-77). The third season of television’s finest private eye series comes to DVD in a no-frills, but well-produced 5-disc set from Universal. In this season, the writing took on a slightly sharper edge, and the show found a perfect balance of dry humor, action, and characterization, with series star James Garner at the peak of his skills. I don’t think there’s a clunker in the bunch. The DVD set includes all 22 episodes in remarkably well preserved 1.33 full frame transfers, and includes a bonus episode from the fourth season. Highly recommended.

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ARABIAN NIGHTS (1942). This Technicolor desert swashbuckler finally hits home video courtesy of Universal’s Cinema Classics label, and while one might hope for some more extras, one can’t argue with the quality of the film. Inspired by the classic Arabian Nights legends, this big-budget epic features Jon Hall as a heroic prince, lovely Maria Montez as the legendary Schereazade, and THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD’s acrobatic Sabu in a fast, funny and romantic tale of high adventure. The disc features a lush, 1.33:1 full-frame transfer, an introduction by Turner Classic Movies host Robert Osborne, and the original theatrical trailer. Recommended.

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LOST CITY OF THE JUNGLE (1946). This fun thirteen-chapter serial stars Rod Stanton and Keye Luke (KUNG FU) as agents of the “United Peace Foundation,” who oppose the sinister plans of legendary screen villain Lionel Atwill (in his last role) as he searches for a deadly radioactive element in the remote Asian nation of Pendrang. Briskly directed by Universal vets Ray Taylor and Lewis D. Collins, LOST CITY OF THE JUNGLE employs more than its share of carefully-chosen stock footage and tricky editing to flesh out its four hour plus running time. VCI crams all 13 chapters onto a single disc, and although the source material is somewhat scratched and battered, considering the film’s age and rarity, it’s more than watchable, with no obvious compression artifacts or other digital blemishes. One of the more obscure 40’s cliffhangers, VCI’s disc should be a welcome addition to any serial fan’s library ““ just don’t expect a pristine presentation.

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MAXIMUM ACTION: 9 DEATHS OF THE NINJA/KILLPOINT (1985/1984). Thanks to BCI/Eclipse, these two craptastic action flicks from the Crown International vaults are now available in one, handy, two-disc double feature set. In 9 DEATHS, Sho Kosugi (REVENGE OF THE NINJA) and Brent Huff (PERILS OF GWENDOLINE) battle a wheelchair-bound Nazi, his Amazon henchwoman, some midgets, and random evil ninjas in the Philippine jungle. In KILLPOINT, aging kung fu cop Leo Fong (ENFORCER FROM DEATH ROW) and FBI agent Richard Roundtree (SHAFT), are after a deranged Cameron Mitchell (SPACE MUTINY), who’s stolen a bunch of weapons from a National Guard armory and gone on a crime spree. 9 DEATHS, the more fun ““ if ludicrous ““ of the two flicks, is presented in a nice, but non-anamorphic 1.85:1 widescreen transfer, while the dreary KILLPOINT is given a sharp, anamorphic 1.78:1 presentation. The discs include trailers for other Crown action “classics.” These flicks are bad ““ even by my usually undemanding standards, and are recommended only for Kosugi (or Fong?) completists.

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BACKLASH (2006). Stuntwoman Danielle Burgio turns action star as secret agent Skye Gold, in this somewhat incoherent but action-packed espionage thriller. On vacation in Trinidad, the pretty CIA agent finds herself marked for death by professional assassins and spends the rest of the movie running around the tropical island trying not to get killed. Fast paced and utterly brainless, this MTI direct-to-video B movie is still fun to watch, with some great fight scenes, nice photography and an attractive lead. There’s some really atrocious CGI effects in here, too, though (apparently the production couldn’t afford to rent helicopters) so be forewarned. Presented in anamorphic widescreen, the disc includes a couple of fluffy featurettes, a music video, bios, and trailers for other MTI action releases (all of which appear to have the same cast). Undemanding fun, and maybe worth a rental.

Thanks for joining me today. Some of the titles I intend to cover in upcoming columns are: CHAINSAW SALLY, SLAYER, EMMANUELLE 2: THE JOYS OF A WOMAN, ONCE UPON A GIRL, CITY OF ROTT, HUNK, THE POM POM GIRLS, THE VAN, THE WICKER MAN, THE BRIDE AND THE BEAST, LAURA’S TOYS, RAPTOR ISLAND, THE CISCO KID COLLECTION, PUMPKINHEAD: ASHES TO ASHES, ALTERED, KILL BABY KILL, JET LI’S FEARLESS, CASINO ROYALE, Disney’s PETER PAN, more MR. MOTOs, a bunch of new super-hero flicks from the mind of Stan Lee”¦ and more!

I hope you’ll join me.

For older Late Show columns (hey, the reviews are still good!), visit the DVD Late Show archive, and for my other pop culture musings, DVD previews and shameless self-promotion, you might enjoy checking out my blog.

Comments, DVD questions, review requests and offers of money can be sent to: dvdlateshow@atomicpulp.com

QSE News: 3/14/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:47 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Entertainment giant Viacom, parent company to MTV and Comedy Central among others, is suing YouTube for $1 billion in damages for allowing its users to post Viacom copyrighted material on its website. Viacom CEO Philippe P. Dauman made the demands from his secret headquarters located on the moon.
  • The original lineup of REM reunited for the band’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame while only two former members of Van Halen showed up for the event. Former singer and former bass player Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony, respectively, attended the ceremony despite being kicked out of the band. Eddie said later that he had intended on making the ceremony but his medical alert bracelet wasn’t working.
  • Sylvester Stallone is in trouble for trying to import illegal substances into Australia. Stallone and his crew were stopped in the Sydney airport under suspicion of possessing a banned human growth hormone. Stallone maintains that he needed the hormone to prepare himself for an upcoming fight with “a gigantic Russian guy.”
  • Hoping to capitalize on the success of religious movies like The Passion of the Christ, Hyde Park Entertainment has announced that they will produce a film about the first Easter.  The movie, which is slated to begin filming shortly, will stick closely to the story in the Bible except for the part where Jesus rises from the dead only to discover that he has 24 hours to stop a giant bunny who’s hiding explosive eggs around Los Angeles.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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March 13, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/14/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Tracy Morgan, you are my favorite crazy-ass Jedi mofo.. (Thingamabob)
  • The honest-to-goodnes Russian adaptation of Winnie the Pooh… (Thingamabob)
  • Oh, you can’t have enough Tracy… Here he is on SNL with his 30 Rock co-stars Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey… (Thingamabob)
  • Fozzie & Rowlf, back in the good ol’ days… (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, a recipe for choclate moose… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 12, 2007

QSE News: 3/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Rapper Snoop Dogg was held by police in Sweden for suspicion of illegal drug use. Dogg was in Sweden to attend a party where organizers hoped to get all attendees high simply by standing in the vicinity of Dogg.
  • The band Snow Patrol will have its song “Signal Fire” appear in the upcoming Spider-Man 3 film. The song was chosen after Director Sam Raimi realized that Limp Bizkit is no longer available to record new material for the film.
  • In a sad bit of news, classic rocker Brad Delp was found dead in his home on Friday.  It appears that the rocker, who was in the band Boston, had “More Than A Feeling” in his chest and took a “Long Time” to call 911.
  • Comedian Richard Jeni is dead after an apparent suicide.  Jeni’s girlfriend found the comedian/actor gravely wounded with a gunshot wound to the face. So, if you were never a fan, skipped his numerous appearances on The Tonight Show, avoided his award-winning and highly acclaimed televised stand up routines or simply dismissed him as unfunny… we hope you’re happy now.
  • The Beau Monde center, a luxury rehab clinic in Los Angeles, is suing troubled singer Courtney Love for failure to pay her rehab bill.  Officials close to Love insist that the matter is being taken care of and the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.  According to sources, Love was too strung out on coke to realize that she needed to pay the bill for her successful rehab.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:52 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Today, let’s check out a few classic Drew Carey Show musical numbers – starting with their take on The Ventures’ “Five O’Clock World”… (Thingamabob)
  • And their take on How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying‘s “Brotherhood of Man”… (Thingamabob)
  • “The Time Warp” vs. “Shake Your Groove Thing”… (Thingamabob)
  • And let’s wrap things up with the great Chuck McCann as Sonny – who’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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SModcast 5

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:27 pm

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 5: Nipples You Can Hang a Coat On –

In which our heroes talk poker and casino etiquette, analyze Mos’s frugality and greener instrincts as well as his corn-oil burnin’ car, chat about their missed moment of Oscar glory, muse about the danger of mouth-breathers at a comic book convention, come clean with tales of unsolicited homoerotic escapades from their youth, and refuse to shower in gym.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 5 (MP3 format) – 58.47 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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Interview: Louis Theroux

Filed under: Interviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:20 am

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–by Ken Plume

theroux-01.jpgLong before Comedy Central’s The Daily Show was a glimmer in creator Lizz Winstead’s eye, there was another program that brilliantly satirized programs like 60 Minutes and 20/20 – it was Michael Moore’s TV Nation. One of the TV Nation correspondents was a Brit by the name of Louis Theroux, whose segments included memorable visits with the “new” Klu Klux Klan and NRA rocker Ted Nugent.

In fact, it was exactly those profiles of subculture and celebrity that Theroux would explore with his post-TV Nation series Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends, which originally aired on Bravo in the US and the BBC in the UK. In it, Louis traveled around America, seeking out and trying to make sense of fascinatingly oddball American subcultures such as professional wrestling, rappers, swingers, UFO enthusiasts, etc. In addition, he’s spent face-to-face time with various unique, somewhat eccentric celebrities in his series When Louis Met….

theroux-02.jpgSadly, the Best of Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends volumes available in the UK have not made their way to the US yet, but his recent companion book thankfully has.

The Call of the Weird: Travels In American Subcultures (Da Capo Press) finds Theroux following up on some of the subjects of those Weird Weekends, and it’s a positively wonderful read. Here’s hoping that a network in the US sees fit to begin airing his work Stateside – particularly as he’s just begun a brand new series of specials for the BBC, the first of which took him to Las Vegas in an effort to understand the siren call of gambling.

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KP: Right off the bat, let me say that I’ve been a fan of yours since the TV Nation days…

THEROUX: Wow.

KP: Is if you look back over the past 13 years, do you see anything different about what you’re doing now, compared to what your interests were then, as far as subject matter?

THEROUX: That’s a good question. In terms of subject matter, my interests are very much in the same area. I’m still interested in people whose choices seem, to me, in some way strange. And people who are in some kind of a gray area, perhaps morally, as far as what they do goes. The first segment I ever did for TV Nation was called “Millennium.” It wasn’t the first one that ever went out, but it was the first one I taped when I was 23 in 1994, and it was about different groups that think the end of the world is happening and is about to take place, and the ways in which they saw those prophecies being fulfilled. Over here in London right now, I’m editing a show that we just finished taping – tomorrow’s the last day of the edit – and it’s about the Phelps family, who are a religious group of Christians who basically think we’re in the last of the last days. It probably would have fit fairly comfortably in that original TV Nation segment. So there’s a sense in which I’m still plowing the same furrows, 13 years later. But I think the approach itself has changed a little bit.

KP: How would you define the approach, for a typical TV Nation segment? Or for your early Weird Weekends?

theroux-03.jpgTHEROUX: Back in the TV Nation days… I don’t want to distance myself from anything I’ve done, because they were all things that I had to go through. And some of that stuff still holds up. In those days, really, I was making short segments – six, seven, eight minute segments – and it was about making some jokes, eliciting some outrageous or ludicrous comments from the people that you’re with, thereby to make their beliefs seem strange or ridiculous, and get out. So occasionally it might seem that they could be… when I look at myself in some of them, I was perhaps a little bit callow, a little bit… let me think. Not in all of them, but in a couple of them perhaps, I don’t think maybe I totally leveled with the people I was with, and perhaps I didn’t… maybe, again, it was the notion of it being a shorter segment, but I was facing…

KP: Would you say you went in – you used the word “illicit” – almost with an agenda?

THEROUX: I don’t want to… any journalist, you could argue, has an agenda of some kind. I don’t mean to be reductive, but I suppose in an eight or nine minute segment in a program that is supposed to really be a comedy program, you don’t really have a chance to show people in different moods. And especially you don’t have a moment of, say, pathos for example. And maybe I didn’t always… you know, I’ve done stuff… like, I did a segment on the Ku Klux Klan, where it was really just… I was just trying to make the people… show them to be the poisonous, nasty people that many of those people really are.

KP: This was the segment on the new Klan?

THEROUX: The new Klan, yes. It was about outing them – like, they’re just as bad as the old Klan. And I think that’s valid. And that segment is still, I think, quite funny. But we did a thing more recently about neo-Nazis in California. Similar subject area, but it was at a greater length. It was an hour long documentary. For the new one, we were able to get to show a moment of pathos and bring out how in many respects these marginal, angry people are also victimizing themselves. Their rage comes out of a sense of impotence. And that they are more to be pitied than to be feared, by and large.

KP: Would you say then that the TV Nation pieces weren’t about doing a documentary portrait of these people?

THEROUX: You can’t really do a documentary portrait in eight or nine minutes. So no, they were just sort of… I suppose they were really just comical encounters between a bumbling English person that I was playing, and these offbeat weird Americans that I was interviewing. And so you can sort of take them for what their worth. I think the Ted Nugent one – that one still holds up pretty well, because you do get a sense of him giving me a hard time. He gets pretty angry with me. He calls me a lying sack of shit at one point. And I think that helps, actually.

KP: Would you consider that the first subject that you ever had that was combative in any way?

THEROUX: I’m trying to think. To begin with, I thought it was about sneaking under the radar, almost Borat style, and scoring hits against people. But actually, fairly quickly I learned that if people think they know what you’re up to, or if they just… if you just have a ding dong with someone, where they call you on what they think you’re doing and you go back and forth, it actually can be more powerful and it certainly is a more satisfying way of working.

KP: When you were in your early 20s at that point, and really going out and putting yourself out on a limb for the first time in those situations, with the only safety net being a small crew around even though you’re still out front, was there any point where you had a sort of learning curve in how to deal with those situations?

THEROUX: I’m wary of making it sound as though I was out there risking life and limb. Because certainly in the broad scheme of things, compared with sort of journalists in war zones or reporting from Rwanda or Grozny or somewhere like that, what I do and what I was doing then was very small potatoes. It was really… it was very… I don’t think in those early TV Nation days, I don’t think I ever felt like I was putting my neck on the line at all. I used to get nervous just because I was nervous. I was more nervous of getting in front of the camera, to be honest with you. Because I felt quite shy about… I never thought of myself as a performer, and I got a bit shy about… I don’t know, about stepping in front of the crew and saying things. It was a big step for me because, until then, I had only really done print journalism. I hadn’t even done that for very long. So I felt a little bit illegitimate.

KP: Do you think if TV Nation hadn’t come along you would have just continued down the path of print journalism?

THEROUX: I sometimes wonder about that. I suspect I probably would have. It’s really hard to know, but I think maybe I would have. I owe Michael Moore a debt of gratitude on that, big time.

KP: When you made that transition out of TV Nation… did you only do the first season?

THEROUX: No, I did the second one, as well. The second one I did a few. The Ted Nugent one…

KP: Okay, so that was for the Fox period…

THEROUX: I didn’t make the transition to when TV Nation reincarnated as The Awful Truth. I wasn’t around for that.

KP: At what point were you presented with the idea of doing the Weird Weekends?

theroux-04.jpgTHEROUX: The BBC had been partners in making the TV Nation shows, and they used to have a guy who’d come over called David Mortimer, and he was the BBC’s man in New York who would help produce the show a little bit. He approached me during the second season and said, “We’d love to do something with you if and when the time comes.” When the second season of TV Nation wasn’t picked up, he said, “We’d like to offer you a development deal.” And that’s what I did. I think it was a three month deal where I had to come up with ideas, and one of those ideas was Weird Weekends. Which was really just the idea of covering TV Nation type subjects, or the sorts of subjects I’d been covering at TV Nation, but in greater length and in more depth.

KP: Was that the idea that immediately came to the fore, or were there other ones that you juggled…

THEROUX: There were some other ideas, but I don’t think… I suppose nothing very exciting. I remember saying… this was in 1995 that I was signed to the deal, so I remember the millennium being a big thing at the time, so I had an idea to make a series that would be themed around the idea of millennial type weirdness. And then I had another idea that we did about traveling to dangerous places. The idea I came up with, the only one I thought was really doable, was the Weird Weekends one.

KP: I felt it interesting, having read the UK version of the book, that you wrote an introduction in the American edition distancing yourself from the word “weird”…

THEROUX: I feel like the word “weird” is a word that I’ve had an ambivalent relationship with almost from the inception of the show. It wasn’t my title. It was the title that was given to me by David Mortimer, this BBC guy. He came up with the title Weird Weekends. And the trouble with the word is that… what makes it work and also what makes it difficult is that it’s a pejorative word. Not for everyone, but most people don’t want to be weird and they don’t want to be considered weird. Also, as a critical instrument, the word is not very subtle, and it really more describes a subjective reaction to a phenomenon rather than the phenomenon itself. And I think that was something when I came to write the book I grappled with, too.

KP: It almost pre-packages the material you’re presenting as, “It’s all going to fall under this category…”

THEROUX: That’s right. I mean what else can you do, because how do you describe… you can’t call them Louis Theroux’s Interesting Weekends. Too vague.

KP: What was the title that you originally presented to the subject? Was it Louis Theroux’s America? Or American Adventure?

THEROUX: I think Louis Theroux’s America, yeah. We used it as a working title and I tried to come up with… you know, Weird Weekends had been mooted, and I said, “You know, let’s try and think of something else.” And everything I came up with was shot down. Having said that, let me just say that the documentaries we do, we’re still making, are no longer called Weird Weekends. They’re specials and they just come out as Louis Theroux: Gambling in Las Vegas or Louis Theroux: The Most Hated Family in America.

KP: I enjoyed the gambling special a great deal, by the way…

THEROUX: How did you get to see that?

KP: That’s the beauty of the internet.

THEROUX: That’s good.

KP: Are there any plans for further DVD releases?

THEROUX: It is not in the pipeline at the moment, but I think perhaps in the next year or so we’ll start getting it together. Why not, right? What’s the overhead? You can stick in on a disc and you can sell it from a website or something.

KP: Well, obviously the demand is out there. There are regular requests for your material out on the ‘net…

THEROUX: Well, that’s encouraging. Thank you very much.

KP: It was interesting to see… I guess that transition away from just categorizing them as Weird Weekends really occurred when you started doing the When Louis Met series, right?

THEROUX: Well, that certainly was when we stopped using the Weird Weekends title and rubric. It’s all part of an evolution, if you will, and I certainly feel that there’s a greater subtlety of tone in the Weird Weekends versus the segments that I was doing at TV Nation, and that that kind of has continued onto this day, so we hopefully put more emotional complexity, in terms of the more recent stuff, as well. But yeah, the word “weird” was dropped in the When Louis Met series.

KP: Was it a clear decision on your part to distance yourself from that label being attached to the work you were doing?

THEROUX: Well no, we just changed the title, really. It was more a case of… it wasn’t, “Well, we’re going to stop being weird now.” It just felt like the next thing. I suppose it would have been more odd to try to keep the word “weird” in there without it being warranted. The fact was we did a special about a UK celebrity called Jimmy Savile just before the third series of Weird Weekends went out, and enjoyed doing it, and it got a great reaction. So after the end of the third series of Weird Weekends it was just, “Well, let’s try making more of these UK celebrity type stories.”

KP: What do you find is the clear difference in tackling a celebrity subject as opposed to your average subject, as it were?

THEROUX: What is the difference? I mean certainly…

KP: Do you find your approach is different in actually approaching them, as people?

THEROUX: There’s a couple of things I’d say on that. One is, with Weird Weekends, and with a subject where there’s an activity or lifestyle involved, of which gambling would be one, you can structure a story which involves me participating at some point. And so that’s the first thing that makes it… I guess you’ve got something to fall back on in terms of creating your story. And the other thing, again with a subculture or lifestyle type story, you’ve got a reservoir of people you can draw on who are all representing… you know, if you get turned down by one casino – they won’t film with you – you try another one. And if one gambler doesn’t work out, you try another one. Obviously with a celebrity, once you’ve signed up to doing something with them, you sort of have to make it work. The story is more about charting your relationship with that person over the course of several days or a couple of weeks. So there’s no involvement of a more obviously participatory kind. Having said that, because these are people in the UK who most people will have heard of, there is a sort of immediacy to it that people really react to. Seeing intimate moments with people that they’ve only seen on TV in formal settings.

KP: I thought it was interesting. I’ve never seen you work so hard, and I mean that as a compliment, as you did in the Jimmy Savile piece…

THEROUX: Yes.

KP: You can actually see the sweat, of trying to crack that shell.

theroux-05.jpgTHEROUX: That’s right. And I think… you know, that’s one of my favorites, and I think one of the reasons it’s interesting is because he really… what can I say? He’s working as hard, if not harder, than I am. He’d obviously been thinking about making the documentary, about being elusive and trying to keep things moving and evading my questions and coming back at me with stuff and saying, “Next, next, next,” and all this kind of thing. And I think because that really made a big difference, and I think it’s one of those ones where, because you’re watching it thinking, “What’s going on with this eccentric character, and is he going to give anything away?” It really sustains the story, I think.

KP: He’s made you the focus of his documentary…

THEROUX: That’s right.

KP: How genuine do you feel that the revelation he made was? For someone who had shown himself to be so much playing this game of cat and mouse with you, when he makes this major revelation in that late night conversation…

THEROUX: Oh, I’m convinced that he didn’t realize the camera was rolling, and that he sort of dropped his guard, thinking that because I’d gone to bed, there was no way that we could possibly be filming. Because he never showed that side of him ever again in anything else I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen him in that mode, where he’s swearing and simply relaxed. So I don’t feel as though that was part of his master strategy, I just think that was him in an unguarded moment.

KP: How difficult was it for you to essentially have the cameras turned on you during the Hamilton piece [NOTE: In When Louis Met The Hamiltons, his subjects – disgraced Tory MP Neil Hamilton and his wife Christine – had charges of a sexual nature brought against them while Louis was filming, which meant he was captured on camera in most of the news footage documenting the proceedings.] ?

theroux-06.jpgTHEROUX: That was pretty awkward, actually. I’ve come to realize in making these documentaries that one of the things I enjoy about being in worlds that are different from the one I inhabit is a kind of invisibility. And that I can escape from my normal life, my day-to-day existence, and just sort of inhabit a parallel existence, whether it’s in a mega casino in Vegas or in a strange religious group in Topeka, Kansas. But when we were making the Hamiltons program suddenly I was in the spotlight. Instead of invisibility I was more exposed. People began writing articles about, “What is Louis Theroux doing in there,” and, “Who is this geeky character in the margins and why is he making a documentary.” And so that part of it was uncomfortable for me.

KP: At certain times there almost seemed to be a point where the Hamiltons were pulling you in front of them like a human shield.

THEROUX: That’s right. I don’t quite know what that was about, except that I think they were a little lost at sea as well, and maybe they felt that perhaps… I mean, I know they’d had a rough ride in the press, and maybe they felt that I could deflect some of the hostility a little bit? I’m really not sure.

KP: It almost seemed to me that you were the human version of when she was debating whether or not to walk out with the flowers in hand to the press conference.

THEROUX: That’s right. I think I was maybe a prop, a little bit. A talking point. And a way of maybe distracting people.

KP: How do you believe that, particularly the celebrity subjects, view participating in a “Louis Theroux” piece? You’ve done enough of them now that they certainly can anticipate what they’re in store for…

THEROUX: I think it varies from person to person. I think as people… there are celebrities who would feel that it would be a great thing for them to do, and it could help to reveal a side of them that they haven’t been able to show before. I think there are other celebrities who cultivate more of a low profile. They try to keep a low profile, and for them it would be less appropriate. I do know that the shows that we’ve done about celebrities, almost all of them, the subjects themselves have come out at the end feeling they did well out of it. That it was a good thing for them to have done.

KP: Who do you think had the clearest sense of agenda about doing the piece?

THEROUX: I would say maybe… because everyone has some kind of an agenda, even if it’s just raising their profile or casting themselves in a better light. Max Clifford, who’s a celebrity publicist over here, who represents celebrities – among them Simon Cowell, I think – and he helps them hurdle the media. He obviously had an agenda – which was to try to show how he could manipulate me and reveal me and sort of beat me at my own game kind of thing. So his was the one where…

KP: He almost seemed vindictive.

THEROUX: He seemed kind of… with Jimmy Savile, you felt like he was battling me, and trying to manipulate me and manipulate the process a bit and, as it were, produce events that showed him in a different light. And that was all fine. It was a lot of fun. With Max Clifford, he did it in a different way. He planted stories about me in the papers and arranged for journalists and paparazzi to be around wherever we were about to turn up and film. And so that was more uncomfortable, definitely.

KP: It almost seemed like he was trying to teach you a lesson.

THEROUX: I think he was trying to teach me a lesson. I think he felt as though I wasn’t playing ball. I wasn’t playing the Max Clifford game. He had a certain way of operating, and I think he must have felt as though I wasn’t cooperating. And so I think he decided, as you say, to teach me a lesson by showing me… just giving me a taste of… well, bad publicity, really.

KP: Looking at that, what do you think the shape of a When Louis Met Louis would take?

THEROUX: That’s an interesting question. I’ve been asked that before. I really don’t think I’d be a great subject for When Louis Met Louis.

KP: Essentially what Clifford was trying to do, and Savile would try, and turn it around on you…

THEROUX: To be fair, with Jimmy Savile, I don’t think he was really interested in exposing me or finding out about me. I think he was just interested in battling me and frustrating me and throwing up smokescreens.

KP: With Savile it almost seemed like that was his way of dealing with anybody, was sort of, “Well, here’s how we’re going to define the relationship…”

THEROUX: Yeah. And I think he just enjoyed being tricky, and being mysterious. With Max Clifford, he was just… I think what he was doing was, as I said, trying to make me uncomfortable and showing me that he could make life difficult for me and that it wasn’t going to be sort of a one way street. You know, the paradox in documentary making is that – certainly in the kind that I do – is that the more awkward and difficult it gets for me, the more interesting it tends to be for the program itself. So the difficult and the more challenging subjects tend to be the most rewarding ones. And that’s definitely true of both Jimmy Savile and Max Clifford. For me as a person, I like to think I’m fairly normal. I’m not a natural interviewee in a sense that I don’t really like talking about myself, my private life, how I live, my choices, my opinions. So When Louis Met Louis, I think I’d find myself pretty frustrating, and perhaps not in a good way. At some level, a good subject has to enjoy the spotlight. They have to feel like, “This is my moment to shine and to show everyone how the world really is and how I really am.” I don’t feel particularly… I don’t feel any great urge to do that.

KP: I found it fascinating, those brief glimpses of yourself that you gave during the introduction to the American edition to the book…

THEROUX: Oh, well, that’s interesting. It’s not something I normally do. I was encouraged to do that by my US publisher – just to say, “Look, it’s different in the UK. You’ve got more of a profile. Over here people won’t know anything about you, so just let people in a little bit.” I always worry if I talk too much about myself I’ll sort of become less interesting as a character in the programs themselves.

KP: I don’t know. I think the few slices that we have seen have always proved fascinating. I mean, obviously, speaking personally, you’ve been interesting to me from the very start with the TV Nation pieces. It’s interesting you brought up, as one of the subject points to try and introduce the American book, the dual nature of your personality, with the combination of the UK and US influences.

THEROUX: Well, that’s true, you know. I definitely feel more American than I come across. I think I say that in the introduction. My dad has had such an impression on me in terms of forming my character and my outlook, that people sometimes assume that I’m more British… and perhaps I’m being more critical, that I’m more distanced from the world that I investigate than I really am. I’ve even been accused in one review of being anti-American. Which really shocked me because I think of myself, if anything, as the opposite. I think of myself as someone who celebrates the American outlook, and celebrates the spirit of can-do, of openness and un-self-consciousness that I find in America.

KP: Do you feel if you tackled these same subjects just in a UK arena that you’d be seen as anti-British?

THEROUX: Well, I don’t think…

KP: I mean, these obsessive personality types are in some ways archetypes…

THEROUX: They wouldn’t exist in Britain in quite the same way. Certainly, I think people in Britain are a bit more careful not to be seen to celebrate themselves and their world in quite the same ways. I think I could do similar stories in Britain, and as you know I’ve done profiles of intriguing British people. But I think it’s a less rich canvas for me. And I think that’s just because of the nature of the culture in America. It’s more open.

KP: It’s interesting that you only attempted to do a US personality once. It was a great documentary, but it failed miserably in actually attaining the person you were going after.

THEROUX: That’s right. And in fact we attempted to do one with Ike Turner, of course. And that’s a chapter in the book where I describe why it didn’t come to fruition. That maybe wasn’t cultural, but it was more the nature of his personality. That was when I wanted him to do a When Louis Met an American celebrity.

KP: In the introduction to the book, you mentioned the idea that your father (famed author and world traveler Paul Theroux) made sure you and your brother would have these sojourns to the US to combat, or to put in the mixture to complement, the Britishness that you were picking up living in the UK…

THEROUX: To deprogram us, you know? Because he even said, at one point, “I want to put you in an American high school for a year, or a junior high for a year,” when I was about 12. I said, “Oh, I don’t think so.” Changing schools is such a wrench. Later on he told me it was because he thought my brother and I were becoming too British. But it kind of did work, I think. At the annual American sojourns that we took, every summer we’d spend a few months on Cape Cod… Spent time with our family and went kayaking and sculpted wax and went camping and stuff like that. Whether or not it was those activities specifically or just… you know, because my mum wouldn’t come over, or she’d come over for a week or two weeks. But just having our dad there for the whole time. There was a touch of Mosquito Coast about the whole thing.

KP: That was the one thing that came my mind when reading the intro, I was like, “So, hacking brush away and such combats Britishness…”

THEROUX: He never took us down to Central America, but there was a little bit of that.

KP: A sort of “Boy’s Own Adventure” deal. What do you feel was the American influence he was trying to impart?

THEROUX: I don’t know that he consciously had an agenda or a checklist of traits that he was attempting to instill in us, but I do think he had a general sense that the boyhood that had formed him – which he was an Eagle Scout, a keen marksman with a gun, a camper…. He listened to outward bound type stuff. All those sorts of activities were things that he felt would be… he was into rowing as well. An oarsman. He felt those would be beneficial to us. I think he felt, perhaps… he wanted to give us a taste of the childhood that he had growing up in Boston in the 50s. 40s, 50s. And just sort of… my dad is a can-do guy. He’s a travel writer. He travels by himself. He’s an independent spirit. He believes in going out and doing things on your own and he doesn’t have a lot of time for people he regards as supine or insufficiently self starting. So I think it was just that kind of spirit of independence and self-sufficiency that he was trying to teach us about.

KP: Which he felt that the British influence would not have delivered properly?

THEROUX: Partly it’s the nature of the environment. If you’re in south London… you know what I mean?

KP: Yes… it’s not exactly the outward bound environment.

THEROUX: It’s not outward bound. You know, you can walk around on Richmond Common, but that’s about it. I think there’s a part egalitarian… from the age of 10 he sent us to a private school in London, which was quite a small-minded little school. It was in some ways out of the 1930s.

KP: Very Tomkinson’s Schooldays…

THEROUX: Class riddled and sort of status obsessed, and wasn’t very nice. And inevitably that had an effect on us as kids. We internalized some of that. And I think he wanted us to learn a little about the more egalitarian part of American culture. Which may or may not be a myth. I know there’s a debate, “Is America a classless society,” but definitely there’s a sort of… I think a salutary myth that anyone can be the president, and we’re all equal under the Constitution. And I think part of that was something that he wanted us to learn about.

KP: The ability to embrace the illusion of a classless society?

THEROUX: He wouldn’t have phrased it like that, and it’s not something he every explicitly said, but I think he just felt like… he just didn’t want us to be snobs. It’s as simple as that, really.

KP: Do you ever feel an encroaching snobbishness?

THEROUX: The school that we went to at that time was a snobby little school. All I can say is, I think the trips over to America in the summer were very enjoyable and it was fun… although I didn’t realize it at the time, I think it has more of an effect on me than I knew.

KP: You live in Britain primarily, but you still make these, almost for the same span of time, trips to the U.S. …

THEROUX: That’s true. Although I don’t go over in the summer for two or three months, but I go back and forth quite a bit.

KP: It’s almost like an inoculation, it seems.

THEROUX: Well, that’s one way of looking at it… I don’t know. I have to be careful that I don’t romanticize it. I lived in America for five or six years in the 90s, and any time I go back I tend to really enjoy it. So I have to be careful I don’t sort of overdo it, because I know I find American Anglophiles sometimes… I’m a bit suspicious. I feel like you’re not seeing the whole picture. So I don’t want to go overboard. You’ve got to take the good with the bad, haven’t you?

KP: I would think so. It goes back to your discussion about doing fuller portraits…

THEROUX: That’s right. But I do. I like to go back… whenever I go back I feel like it’s a shot in the arm, really.

KP: Is it the people you encounter, or just the society in general? What do you find is the thing that energizes you when you make that journey, whenever you do?

THEROUX: That’s a good question. I think basically… inevitably, the view is colored by the fact that I’m doing a story. So I’ll be immersed in an interesting world. Whenever I’m traveling for work, I’m plunged into an environment that is in some way unusual and interesting. Having said that, there’s something more which I think is just the sense that life is being lived at a high pitch. The news stories tend to be big. The country itself is big. There’s a sense of scale to the way that life is lived there. So I’ll pick up a New York Times, and in any copy there’ll be three or four stories I’m fascinated by. It’s really hard to put my finger on. I think the other thing is just a sense of… like I was referring to earlier, there’s a sense of invisibility. Whereas in Britain, wherever you go, your accent tends to mark you as being from a certain class and a certain place. In America, I’m invisible because I’m just someone from Britain. I’m an outsider. And people don’t tend to be… there’s a certain level of… people in America aren’t… to make a generalization, but there’s a lot of Americans who aren’t terribly informed about the outside world. So you’re invisible in that way, too. That people don’t tend to know much about where I’m from. I think the other thing is – I think I mentioned this in my introduction – the prejudices that exist in America about British people tend to be very positive ones, by and large.

KP: Perhaps being more intelligent than most…

THEROUX: Yeah. The idea goes that you’re maybe a little more gentlemanly, courteous, maybe well educated. All of which may or may not be true, but that seems to be the prejudice.

KP: It seems like the opinions about Americans are tending to get worse within the UK. Of course, especially if you listen to people like Jeremy Clarkson (laughing)…

THEROUX: That’s right. I don’t know, you may be right about that.

KP: Do you feel an American could come over and do a similar thing in the UK?

THEROUX: That’s a good question. I don’t think the stories are big enough, somehow.

KP: Have you ever mooted the idea of doing, not a celebrity-based, but just a story-based piece within the UK? Like going up to Blackpool to do the gambling special…

THEROUX: We have talked a little bit about that, and there may be a way of doing a show like that, but it would be a different kind of show. I think part of what people, certainly in Britain, enjoy about the show is a sense of discovery and a sense of the exotic. That these are places they’d like to go to. They’re worlds that they’d like to investigate if they had the money or the time or the opportunity. And you wouldn’t get that to the same extent here. Britain is well known to British people, by and large. So I think there would be less appeal, in that sense.

KP: I was speaking with Neil Innes a few months back…

THEROUX: Right, from the Rutles…

KP: We were talking about a tour he’d done in the US the year before last. He and his wife went across the country. He hadn’t realized how long the distances were. What seemed like it would be, “Oh, this will be a couple of hours and we’ll be here…” turned into a day and a half. That America was like the Tardis, to Brits.

THEROUX: That’s true, isn’t it?

KP: That until you’re actually on the ground, it doesn’t seem like it should be as large as it does to traverse these distances.

THEROUX: That’s really true, and that’s one of the great things… the scale of America, the size of it. I think that’s one of the reasons I do like Vegas. As vulgar as it can be and as commercial and money obsessed, you just have to go up to the 25th floor of any of the big hotels and you’ve got a view out to these barren mountains that ring the city and you feel so… I don’t know. There’s something really liberating about it. And however wrong your life went, you have somewhere you could go and hide. I know that’s a slightly weird way of looking at it, but there’s something very comforting in that.

KP: Almost a sense of disconnectedness by means of the sheer vastness of the areas?

THEROUX: Yeah, and also a chance of a second… that you have a second chance in your life to reinvent yourself. I suppose that’s the other part of the American ideal…

KP: That’s sort of a British boyhood dream in many ways, isn’t it? I mean, about going off and remaking yourself as a higher class?

THEROUX: Definitely a higher class, or whatever it is. Even that’s what The Great Gatsby is about, in a sense. This guy, James Gatz, who goes off and sort of reinvents himself as this blue blood multimillionaire.

KP: And having the distance to pull it off and being completely cut off just by means of that distance from anyone who might know the old you.

THEROUX: That’s right. That’s very appealing, I think, in some ways.

KP: You’ve just signed a deal for, what, ten more specials for the BBC?

THEROUX: I’ve got to make ten shows, of which the first one was kind of a compilation show that went out a few weeks ago. And then the second one was the Vegas one. And these are specials, so we just sort of put them out when they’re ready. The one we’re editing at the moment, I mentioned, is about the Phelps family in Topeka, Kansas, who as you may or may not know picket soldiers’ funerals with anti-gay slogans and placards with words like “God Hates Fags” and so on. And after that we’re not really sure. We’ve got a few things bubbling under. And maybe some things outside America, too.

KP: Is there any topic that’s been elusive for you over the years?

THEROUX: That’s an interesting one. You know there’s one… For a long time we wanted to do something on – one of the first ideas I had was to do something on gangsta rap. And then it wasn’t until the third series of Weird Weekends that we sort of got that together and figured out that it would work well if we did it in the American south. You know, there’s a lot of people who I’ve been fascinated to do something with. Personalities I’d love to make documentaries about. Mike Tyson is a name that has come up quite a few times. I would love to get a couple of weeks just to film with him and find out about his life. It’s just a question of trying to build the trust and get the access.

KP: I thought you’ve already done Chris Eubank (laughing)…

THEROUX: We did Chris Eubank, that’s right.

KP: So are we eventually going to see When Louis Met Michael Moore?

THEROUX: I don’t think we’ll see When Louis Met Michael Moore. I think that documentary’s been made a few times, hasn’t it?

KP: No, not that I’ve seen. Or to the level that I think you would be able to present a portrait of him.

THEROUX: I know a guy made one called Michael Moore Hates America, but I never saw it. Did you?

KP: Yes.

THEROUX: What was it like?

KP: It’s like if you were to take the Michael Jackson documentary you did, but throw an agenda into it. This person was trying to make it fit into the pre-determined portrait he already had.

THEROUX: Right.

KP: So it was more of a, “I’m going to expose Michael Moore” piece.

THEROUX: Oh really?

KP: Yes.

THEROUX: Interesting. I wonder if that’s available online anywhere.

KP: Yes, it’s available on DVD I believe.

THEROUX: It is?

KP: Yes.

THEROUX: Oh, I’d like to see that.

KP: It was very much an idea of… It was a conservative piece that pretty much goes in with, “This is going to be our polemic against Michael Moore.”

THEROUX: Interesting. And there were a few other people who talked about doing something like that, including people who worked with him, but I’m not sure they ever came to anything.

KP: As far as I’ve seen, nothing has come down the pike.

THEROUX: Interesting. I’ve really got nothing but good things to say about Michael. One of the surreal aspects of doing my book was that it was sort of the “Year of Michael Moore.” 2004 was when I made the bulk of the trip. Bowling for Columbine had come out the previous year, and then Fahrenheit 9/11 came out that year, if I have my timeline correct. But definitely everywhere I went… in these marginal worlds, he’s really regarded with… I mean, it wasn’t just the mainstream that seemed to be overtaken with him. It was also… his influence permeated every nook and cranny of American culture, so it seemed. So when I did an interview with Richard Butler, who was the Aryan Nation’s ailing leader at that point – he died subsequently – but he even started talking about how much he’d enjoyed Fahrenheit 9/11.

KP: It’s interesting when a person becomes a representative for a belief system. They move beyond being just a person but become a representative of something for someone. Sort of a shorthand to describe something…

THEROUX: That’s right.

KP: And certainly during that period Michael became that.

THEROUX: Have you interviewed him?

KP: Many times. In fact when I was at NYU in ’95, I would fax into the production office looking for a PA position on TV Nation, not realizing it’d already been cancelled.

THEROUX: Really? How funny.

KP: I remember having dinner with him around the time of The Big One. He was doing a college tour at the time and I’d actually gone up and had dinner with him in Raleigh. It was interesting to see how slowly but surely he’s closed off to the public. Because he was always famous for, you know, “Here’s my email address on AOL. Send me an email, contact me.” I remember having instant messenger chats with him about various things during the mid to late 90s. And then all of a sudden, he just sort of dried up. You couldn’t get to him. There was a layer of people before you could even arrange an interview with him. So eventually I just gave up even trying to get an interview with him.

THEROUX: Well, what can you say? He’s like an icon now.

KP: I can imagine when things started getting hairy during that period of 2004, I can see why you might want to put a bit of a buffer zone.

THEROUX: I mentioned it must be very weird to achieve that level of… not just visibility, but to be so identifiable with a worldview.

KP: To the point when you literally become a puppet in someone’s film in order to represent something.

THEROUX: Right…

KP: Well, I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your additional specials down the pike…

THEROUX: Well, I hope you enjoy them. There’s definitely some good stuff coming up.

KP: And I certainly hope that the DVDs make their way out, with the programs that haven’t been released yet.

THEROUX: Yes. Well, we’ll see what we can do on that. There’s definitely some good stuff that needs to come out.

KP: Just the demand from people who are otherwise chasing them down online…

THEROUX: You’d think that would be a good sign, wouldn’t you?

KP: I would hope so! And hopefully there’s another book or two in you. Until then, I’ll just catch whatever’s online… In addition to the gambling special, I also caught you on Jonathan Ross, as well as your episode of The Weakest Link…

THEROUX: My word, they’ve got everything. I’m trying to suppress that stuff! (laughing) No, I’m just joking.

KP: I watched the Weakest Link episode. I can see why. I’ve never seen you more uncomfortable.

THEROUX: I know, it was unbelievable.

KP: Hopefully in the future, we’d definitely love to speak with you again and see where things stand…

THEROUX: Well, I would love that. Thank you so much for your time, Ken. I really appreciate it.

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Preachin’ From The Longbox: Juss Don’t Believe The Hype

Filed under: Columns,Preaching from the Longbox — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:05 am
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This week’s sermon – “Juss Don’t Believe The Hype”

March 12, 2007

For those of you who fell into a light coma, and have finally woken up, the “shocking” epilogue of Marvel’s Civil War, Captain America #25, was released this past Wednesday.

Why is the significance of that issue, you ask? Other than the issue hitting the quarter-century mark, I mean, really doesn’t every issue hit that supposed milestone? (Well not the criminally shit-canned The Thing). Well, since you’ve lived this long without hearing about the news and normally, this would be considered a spoiler in some circles, I’ll let you avert your eyes and quickly click on some other link here at the Quick Stop.

(Twiddles thumbs”¦)

I hear that the recent “SModcast” podcast and “Game On” vidcast are quite good.

(Looks at watch”¦)

Alrightey then, time’s up.

For those of you strong enough to stick around, the driving force behind Cap #25 is that:

Captain America #25

Cap gets CAPPED!

Yup, he’s dead as a door nail – or, to use a more current comparison, as dead as Sanjaya’s chances for winning Idol. But don’t worry; he’ll get some work in the entertainment industry as El DeBarge in next year’s biopic, Gang Wars: DeBarge versus The Jets. Jennifer Hudson has shown the way – Hallelujah!

Again, this latest revelation by Marvel is no big deal. Steve Rogers has been removed from the comic book scene more once in his storied continuity; most recently during the whole Heroes Reborn mess. (Although, he was really just put in a marble courtesy of Franklin Richards but that’s just semantics and bad plotting but let’s continue).

There are bits of news coverage out there from the New York Daily News to the L.A. Times to Newsweek to the Colbert Report talking about the death and that’s well and good. I don’t see a problem with any comic company getting some good, juicy, tabloid-style press. With all of the other entertainment options other there right now, comics needs all of the help that it can get.

However, my beef with this whole Captain America slaying thing isn’t the amount of press for Cap’s assassination. It’s something else which usually comes along with the hype that is completely familiar and horrifying at the same time. Let me illustrate:

A certain iconic superhero died and it was hyped up in the news like it was a real death. It was plastered all over the place and you couldn’t escape people commenting about it for days. The “death” issue, with a variant cover, was sold out completely and the comic book publisher started to ship out second and third printings (with a different cover) to keep up with the demand.

Comic shops were jacking up cover prices on that death issue as well as all of those back issues that contained any part of this storyline just as lapsing readers as well as non-comic book readers were driving in droves to buy these “special” comics; earmarking them as investments for their children.

Then, after a few weeks, the buzz started to wane and the comic book publisher started a new all-encompassing story arc in a way to keep the attention going. After awhile, the buying masses started to see through the marketing ploy and the comics industry was looking at a real crisis ““ a failing business strategy where their readership was dwindling.

That was, as you have probably guessed, the Death of Superman. The year was 1993, otherwise known as the beginning of the Decline of Western Comic Book Readership.

Let’s cut to today. Comics survived the speculator nose dive and have built themselves back into a relatively thriving business with more Cons and bankable theatrical blockbusters left and right (Nic Cage’s Elvis-talking his way thought Ghost Rider was the latest in that trend). Also, their recent multi-title story arcs, Infinite Crisis and Civil War, were, for the most parts, hits.

So, the people running the four-color “show” for the Big Two, so to speak, have gotten decidedly a little cocky. So, what is the first thing that they do with their newfound ignorance? Shocker; they forget their history and repeat 1993 all over again.

Here are some telling excerpts from what I’ve read so far in some of the various published reports:

ICv2 News ““ “One important issue is whether Marvel is able to get enough copies into the market to dampen speculation. If the news becomes ‘look what this comic from last week/month is worth’ instead of ‘look at this cool storyline in Marvel comics,’ look out.” (PftL – Here, here. Well said.)

New York Daily News – “‘I was shocked. I was not expecting it,’ said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. ‘I’d rather they didn’t kill him – but it’s going to mean great sales.'” (PftL – Oy vey. Déjà vu, anyone?)

In case you were wondering, Mr. Gladston was not joking. Chop Socky - Chris Simon

The secondary market for this issue is seeing some very questionable on-line retailers marking the issue up by almost 650% over the cover price while eBay, the arbiter of gauging at its finest, has more than one auction with the two covers for a starting bid of $2000. Two large for an overprinted comic book that will be collected in six months and retconned within a year? Are you kidding me? Am I the only one getting sick from a case of the (Re)runs?

Ya know, the first thing that comes around a rotting corpse is a vulture and the equivalent of this nasty animal in the comics industry is speculators. They are a group of people most foul. Not to get too pious (yeah right) but these profiteers not only reduce comics into a poor man’s form of day trading but they also take away the essence of comics and turn it from a intimate medium to tell a story into a sterile, slabbed commodity. This practice makes me so sick I feel like Simonizing someone.

I’m sure that the “Cap Death” and subsequent “Fallen Soldier” story arcs will be finely told tales and people will buy them en masse. I’m just worried what will happen to the comics industry after all of the buzz has died once again and the shop owners are left with millions of funny books and mounting issues of their own.

-britt

Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Zodiac

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions,Reviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:49 am
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David Fincher’s Zodiac (from a script by James Vanderbilt adapted from Robert Graysmith’s intimate true life account) begins on the fourth of July in 1969 at the height of the hippie era. As fireworks explode over the bay, a young woman namded Darlene Ferrin (Ciara Hughes ) cruises along a packed suburban street, pulling up at a nondescript house. She invites a youth named Michael Mageau (Lee Norris) into her car and the pair drive off to eat. But the drive in being full up, she quickly changes her mind, and they end up at the Blue Rock Springs Golf Course, where there is a lover’s lane.

Zodiac Matt

The youth is callow and awkward, and doesn’t seem to be aware that Darlene is seeking sex, or at least a make out session. Their banter is interrupted by the ominous growl of a car, one that hovers nearby and then pulls away. Darlene seems to know the driver. But she won’t admit as much to Mageau. Then the car comes back quickly. The driver gets out, comes over to the passenger’s side, and opens fire on the occupants.

Though on the surface rather routine sounding, this is a very interesting scene and it is an interesting way to open a film about the notorious and uncaught serial killer, America’s Jack the Ripper. For one thing, this wasn’t the Zodiac killer’s first attack. Fincher could just as easily have started off his film with the Lake Herman Road double murder the previous December, as does Alexander Bulkley in his 2005 knock off film The Zodiac, with Justin Chambers and Robin Tunney, which also shows the impact of the Zodiac’s crimes on those who hunted him.

Zodiac death

In fact, there are numerous coincidences between the two films. Both star Philip Baker Hall, as a police chief in The Zodiac and as a handwriting expert in Zodiac. Both films shoot mostly in the case’s actual locations. Both are about how obsession destroys the good, and both feature similar dialogue in the Zodiac’s third attack, in broad daylight at Lake Berryessa in September 1969, where the Zodiac wore a scary black hood.

One significant difference is that Fincher and his collaborators extend a great deal of attention on the personalities of the victims, communicating quite a bit about them in a short screen time. Which brings us back to the opening scene. As an aggressive, sexual creature, Darlene is an unusual figure in Fincher’s movies – but not his videos (has anyone else noticed her similarity to Madonna?). She is also a person whose past, her recent past, catches up with her quickly, as we learn near the end of the movie when the Zodiac’s connection with Darlene is revealed (here is a long footnote: it’s been a long time since I’ve read Graysmith’s book and its sequel, but is it possible that there was no actual Zodiac, that the reason the cases are so different from each other is that they were in fact acts of passion committed by different people? The only thing I remember really tying Zodiac to one of the crimes was the fact that he clipped off parts of a cabbie’s blood stained shirt. Is it possible that Zodiac was s a cop, writing the letters and posing as the killer in order to make some kind of point or toy with his co-workers? Also, as Robert Downey, Jr.’s character says in the movie, the Zodiac was a liar, taking credit for things he couldn’t have done; but again, I haven’t kept up with the book, and the suspect that Graysmith came up with is probably really the guy).

Zodiac Bob

Fincher probably remembers aspects of the real case from his childhood, but he doesn’t seem necessarily interested in the case as a nostalgic tour. Instead, it is another exercise in failed mentorship, a theme that appears in most of his films. Cartoonist Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) is as young and callow as the film’s first victim, but he is already divorced and is a single father. He goes through one mentor who fails him, Downey’s Paul Avery, the Chronicle reporter who covered the case, and then another, Mark Ruffalo’s Inspector David Toschi (the real life cop who inspired Bullitt). Graysmith, who in the film has the enthusiasm of a boy scout and is thus referred to by others (though he says he was an Eagle Scout, and he acts with the pushy enthusiasm of Robert Cummings’s character in Dial M for Murder), cracks the case, but, as with the others, at great cost, in his case at the expense of his marriage.

Zodiac road

Harry Savides’s camerawork throughout the film is remarkable (but I assume that Fincher is the type of director who collaborates with a DP closely). It doesn’t just honor films from the ’70s – it is one. And several of the shots will go down in film history, such as the overhead shot of a cab going through San Francisco, with the camera moving above in sync as if the car were the planchette on a Ouija Board.

In fact, this is a movie “about” cars. They figure in almost every scene. They are the setting of almost every murder. Many of the film’s character building moments occur in cars, at least with Toschi.

Zodiac Jake

Some film buffs have raised the question of whether the film, in its final moments, backs off from the “knowability” of the Zodiac’s final identity, even though in the real world Graysmith is convinced of it. There is a small measure of ambiguity in the film’s final images. But Zodiac isn’t like a Friedkin movie, such as French Connection or Cruising, in which the director strives for a larger epistemological strata. Zodiac does create ambiguity by having different people “play” the Zodiac. A different person from the prime suspect voices the Zodiac at the Lake Berryessa killing. Another puzzling image connected with this sequence is this: who is the guy sitting in his pick up truck obviously in mental anguish? He doesn’t look like the guy who later turns out to be the prime suspect.

Zodiac Chloe

No, the real mystery in the film is Graysmith’s motivation. “Bob, you look disappointed,” Avery says at Graysmith’s reaction to another dead end clue. What is the source of Graysmith’s immediate and almost visceral attraction to the case? The film is officially mute on the subject, although there is the odd, stray dialogue on the subject, such as when Graysmith is talking to his wife (played by the great Chloe Sevigny, who, with her long hair and bookish glasses embodies just the type of girl everyone got a crush on back in the ’70s).

Zodiac zero

In this film, Fincher is a master of transitions, be it the sound of traffic that leaps years, or the subtle placement of movie posters (one of them for Edward G. Robinson’s Warner film Illegal) in Graysmith’s apartment just before he encounters one Bob Vaughn, a silent movie theater employee who might be able to give him a lead. Movies permeate the film. Zodiac himself is a movie buff and there were numerous movie references in his letters. Fincher even honors Val Lewton with a “bus,” the sudden appearance of Vaughn sliding into view in a mirror. And it turns out, which is something I didn’t know and couldn’t even guess at, that the Zodiac symbol might have come from the countdown leader on a film strip. In its weird, perverse way, Zodiac is testimony to he embedded influence of movies and moviemakers on our lives.

QSE News: 3/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:32 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • The scantily clad Spartan film 300 was number one at the box office this weekend after grossing more than $70 million. In addition to setting a March opening-day box-office record, the film also succeeded in confusing the sexual identity of more than two million adolescent males.
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal has been selected to replace Katie Holmes as the character Rachel Dawes in next Batman film. Gyllenhaal’s co-stars in the film are said to be excited by the opportunity to work with an actress whose husband isn’t keeping her locked in a basement.
  • It appears the real reason the Van Halen reunion tour was called off is because Eddie Van Halen is entering rehab for undisclosed reasons. This announcement may go down as the biggest shock in music news history. And by biggest, we mean totally expected.
  • France is getting set to release a set of stamps showcasing the characters of the Harry Potter book and film series.  French officials are insisting that the stamps are an honor and not merely a roundabout way of licking Harry and his friends’ backside. And by backside we mean butt.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:26 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • How To Succeed In Film Festivals… Wihout Really Trying… (Thingamabob)
  • I may be American, but I can’t tell you how giddy I am that my favorite MP of all, Boris Johnson, has a website… The man is like a human Muppet… (Thingamabob)
  • Don’t believe me? Check him out in this segment from one of his guest-hosting stints on Have I Got News For You… (Thingamabob)
  • Ren Faires and monster trucking – a match made in heaven… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 11, 2007

Contest: Win Boba Fett From Sideshow!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 5:20 am

Quick Stop Entertainment is giving away a Premium Format Boba Fett figure, courtesy of the fine folks at Sideshow Collectibles. Don’t miss your chance to win this premium format figure.

Contest closed! Thanks for playing!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter. (Darn I hate this rule!!!!).

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All individuals who opt-in to receiving the Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter understand that they will be receiving e-mail newsletters from Sideshow Collectibles, which details their new licenses, upcoming products, monthly giveaways, and guest interviews! Entrants understand and agree to Sideshow Collectibles’ privacy policy, and understand that they may cancel their Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter subscription at anytime. No purchase is necessary to win this contest.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:50PM, EST, April 8, 2007.

Important Shipping Information:

All winners agree to pay shipping on any prizes granted by Sideshow Collectibles during any contest or giveaway. Specific details can be found in our contest terms section. Please read these carefully before entering.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product. All prizes are non-transferable, with no cash redemptions and/or substitutions except at Sponsor’s sole discretion. All international winners will be responsible for any duties, tariffs, taxes or import fees assessed to their prize. Further some countries outside of the U.S. do not have reliable mail services. In the event that a prize has been stolen or mishandled during shipment to an international destination, Sideshow may not be able to replace the specific item. If the winner prefers a specific quicker shipping method, they are responsible to notify us immediately and will also be responsible to cover the additional costs if any.

Delivery time & Restrictions:

All continental US orders are shipped FedEx ground service. Because FedEx cannot provide tracking numbers for P.O. Boxes, Sideshow Collectibles will no longer ship to a P.O. Box. Please provide your street address or your shipment will be delayed. For FedEx Ground deliveries, please allow up to 6 business days for delivery from the date your order is shipped. Please visit the Sideshow Collectibles website for restrictions on International Shipping.

Scrubs Blog: My Big Picture Show

Filed under: Production Blogs,Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:10 am
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BLOG ALBUM: “My Big Picture Show” ““
Things are getting crazy busy around the Scrubs offices as the shooting season rapidly comes to a close, so we thought we’d take a little time this week for a picture album look around Sacred Heart’s sets and environs (all photos by Brian Davison)…

[ CLICK THE PICS FOR A LARGER VERSION ]

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The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 95 – Marvel Busts A Cap

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:35 am

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Hembeck.com – free of radioactive sperm for over four years now – and we aim to keep it that way!!

-Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

March 9, 2007

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #26: The Bunny Hop

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:21 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #26: The Bunny Hop – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns, as Ken & Dana discuss listener mail, find out how much Dana would charge to watch cartoons with his fans at the Bunny Ranch, and go through some recent actory additions to Dana’s record collection…

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #26 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-26.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Comics in Context #168: O Captain! My Captain!

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 4:17 am
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cic2007-03-09-01.jpgSo I woke up on Wednesday, March 7, and I saw that in addition to Tuesday’s Arctic temperatures, so low that weathermen warned that if you expose any bare flesh outside, you risked getting frostbite, that the sidewalks were buried in snow, and it was still falling. I again thought how lucky the New York Comic-Con organizers were that this didn’t happen during the weekend of the con. I wondered if I’d have trouble getting to a concert in Manhattan that night. Well, I thought, probably nothing worse would happen today.

And then I turned on my computer and learned that Captain America was dead.

The New York Daily News had just broken the story that morning, and not even The Beat or The Comics Reporter had it yet, but there are already pages of outraged posts at the John Byrne Forum, and it had been reported by CNN, among many other mainstream media outlets. Cap was apparently assassinated by a sniper in Captain America #25, which went on sale that very day (March 7).

Now I realize that this could be some elaborate fake-out. The mainstream media, unaware of how death in the superhero genre usually resembles a revolving door, fell hard for DC’s “Death of Superman” over a decade ago, and, of course, DC was not about to keep this iconic character dead.

Just as DC came up with four substitute Supermen to hold the fort until the real Superman returned, there will doubtless be one or more “new” Captain Americas. As Ron Hogan points out over at Galley Cat, this isn’t the first time Marvel has done that, and I can supply the details. Stan Lee (who wrote Cap longer than anyone else has) did it briefly in Tales of Suspense #96 in the 1960s; Steve Englehart had a kid named Roscoe take over as Captain America in the 1970s, and Mark Gruenwald had the “Super-Patriot” (now known as the U. S. Agent) become the new Cap in the 1980s. We’re overdue for another “new Cap” storyline. The difference is that each time in the past, Steve Rogers, the original Captain America, retired voluntarily from his costumed role before inevitably reassuming it later in the storyline.

Significantly, according to the Daily News, “Joe Quesada, 43, Marvel Entertainment’s editor in chief, said he wouldn’t rule out the shield-throwing champion’s eventual return.” In The New York Times (March 8, 2007) George Gene Gustines quotes Marvel publisher Dan Buckley saying about Cap, “He’s very dead right now.” Gustines also quotes some fans who don’t believe that the Captain is dead and terms their reactions “cynical,” but considering these statements from Marvel execs, isn’t their cynicism justified?

It turns out that in another comic currently on sale, Civil War: The Initiative #1, Ms. Marvel claims that Captain America is still alive. An official Marvel statement suggests that she may be mistaken or lying. Or is this an editorial mistake that lets the proverbial cat out of the bag?

On the other hand, ever since the demise of the Silver Age Flash in Crisis on Infinite Earths, readers have been all too aware that the Big Two superhero companies are perfectly willing to kill off superheroes for real and put some new character in as a permanent replacement. (Now it seems that the Silver Age Flash may finally return, but it took over twenty years!)

All of the previous “substitute Cap” stories have had the theme that Steve Rogers is irreplaceable as the true Captain America. My guess is that Marvel will indeed bring Rogers back as Cap. But I hope this isn’t just wishful thinking on my part. Gustines quotes another fan as saying “I’m fairly sure killing Cap with a movie in development (plus a possible Avengers flick on the way as well) would not be very sensible. So, I shall wait and see,” and praises him as “media-savvy.” And do we know for a fact that the Captain America in these movies is the original version from the 1940s?

The aforementioned Marvel official statement declares that “Captain America will continue to be published despite the very real death of Steve Rogers,” and concludes, “So, yes, Captain America, Steve Rogers, is dead.” Considering the miracles that are possible in the superhero genre, Rogers could still be truly “dead” and come back to life. But here Marvel seems to be hinting that they will create a new Captain America, one that they consider more relevant to the 21st century. It’s possible that Marvel might someday resurrect Rogers but not allow him to take back the role of Captain America from this newcomer.

The end of Civil War, in which Captain America decides he is wrong for fighting for the freedom of his fellow superheroes, and an already infamous Civil War: Frontline sequence in which a woman self-righteously denounces the Captain for knowing nothing about America since he doesn’t waste time on YouTube (Say what? I would think Cap keeps himself rather busy continually saving the lives of this woman and other Americans over the course of his career. This woman’s attitude smacks of ageism. This suggests that 21st century Marvel regards the original Captain as a dated character. “”˜He hasn’t been living in the modern world and the world does move,” says Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada.” in the CNN report.

And here I think of Captain America as representing American ideals, which have endured for over two hundred years, just as I believe Lee, Englehart, and Gruenwald did. Just reading the better Captain America stories from the last four decades, such as theirs, demonstrates how the character consistently adapts to changing times. I’d feel better if CNN and the Daily News had quoted Marvel representatives as extolling the greatness of the original Captain America rather than seeing Marvel, in and out of the stories, badmouthing the character as irrelevant to 21st century America.

If Marvel was intent on killing off Captain America, why couldn’t the company have given him a heroic demise, like the one that Stan Lee and John Romita, Sr. gave Captain George Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man #90 (1970) or the one that Chris Claremont and John Byrne gave Phoenix in Uncanny X-Men #137 (1980). Even Mar-Vell’s demise from cancer in Jim Starlin’s The Death of Captain Marvel (1982) showed more courage and dignity than the ignominious killing of Captain America, arrested and handcuffed as a criminal for his role in Civil War.

Here are some quotations from the Daily News and CNN reports that struck me as telling.

“”˜What happens with the costume? And what happens to the characters that are friends and enemies of Cap?’ Quesada said with a smile. “˜You’re going to have to read the books to find out.'” (CNN)

“”˜I was shocked. I was not expecting it,’ said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. “˜I’d rather they didn’t kill him–but it’s going to mean great sales.'” (Daily News)

And here’s the sad one, from the Daily News: “”˜It’s a hell of a time for him to go. We really need him now,’ said co-creator Joe Simon, 93, after being informed of his brainchild’s death.” If this is all a fake-out to boost sales, I hope that somebody told Mr. Simon that’s all it is.

I will have much more to say about Civil War, though not until after finishing my coverage of this year’s New York Comic-Con, and probably my review of the 300 movie. And yes, I will buy and read Captain America #25 (if I still can find a copy at cover price), so Marvel’s sales stunt has worked. But I’m doing it out of a sense of duty as a comics historian. I feel no pleasure at the prospect of seeing Marvel kill off the embodiment of the American spirit, even if his demise proves to be only temporary. Marvel quickly undid the gouging out of Spider-Man’s eye (see “Comics in Context” #113), but that didn’t alter my distaste for that storyline. And if the rumor I heard during the New York Comic-Con proves to be true, even greater horrors await in the Marvel Universe.

It was only a year ago that New York Comic-Con audience, including myself, was happily photographing Joe Simon posing with an attendee dressed as Captain America (see “Comics in Context” #125). What questions might have been raised at panels at this year’s New York Comic-Con had we known what would happen to Captain America less than two weeks later?

For that matter, how has the spirit of Marvel, and of the superhero genre, changed since their Silver Age forty-some years ago? This year’s New York Comic-Con offered attendees the chance to judge for themselves by listening to the man who launched what he called the Marvel Age of Comics. And keep in mind, I record quotations to the best of my ability; I don’t make any of them up.

FRIDAY FEB. 23, 6:30 PM

cic2007-03-09-02.jpgThe panel in the Javits Center’s Special Events Hall was titled “Stan Lee: An American Icon,” and indeed he is. Roy Thomas, Stan’s protégé in the 1960s who succeeded him as editor in chief, was supposed to interview him onstage, but had to cancel his trip to New York at the last minute.

Roy’s replacement introduced himself to the audience: “I’m Joe Quesada of Marvel Comics, and let me say, I’m lucky to have a job.”

Quesada reminisced about how when he was a boy, he didn’t read comics but his father learned about Stan Lee’s groundbreaking anti-drug storyline in Amazing Spider-Man #96-98 (1971). Quesada’s father encouraged him to read these issues and, Quesada told us, “I really got hooked.” Quesada continued, “What my father didn’t realize was that he was starting a whole other addiction,” that he said ultimately cost more than cocaine.

In keeping with the “icon” theme, Quesada placed the Marvel Age’s founding father among some heavy company. “He is Elvis, he is the Beatles, he’s Bill Clinton,” declared Quesada, introducing Stan Lee to the vast audience.

But Stan was not there. To fill time, Quesada started reminiscing about being on stage with Lee and Kevin Smith a while back, and then Stan came down the aisle, waving to the crowd. Everyone stood and applauded, even the little kids seated in front of me, and there was loud cheering. “I wasn’t late!” Stan explained; “I was waiting for them to call me!”

Much as he clearly loves public adulation, perhaps there’s a part of Stan Lee that feels it’s a wee bit excessive. “You mean,” he asked Quesada, “I’ve come over here to answer questions for these people, who know more about us than we do?” Stan turned to the audience, and asked good-naturedly, “Don’t you guys have anything better to do?”

One thing that a lot of these guys were doing was massing in front of the stage, several rows deep, to take flash photographs of Stan the Man. THis is something that the convention organizers should have anticipated, but didn’t. Lee may indeed have been concerned, but he characteristically masked it with humor. “They’ve left us alone!” No security!” with “all these hostile people!” he exclaimed in mock panic. “I’m scared!” The audience laughed, as he surely intended.

“Do you feel the love in the room?” Quesada asked him.

Finally the cavalry arrived, and Stan was relieved. “Oh, security,” he observed, and then warned the audience, “You better watch out. We got a guy in a red shirt here!”

Quesada asked him about his long career at Marvel. “Before I came up with the Fantastic Four,” Lee replied, “the comic book industry was a cultural wasteland.” That’s really not much of an exaggeration, but Lee nonetheless apologized for his characteristic hyperbole. “You have to forgive me. It’s been a tough day. I refuse to be serious.”

Then Lee continued his familiar story of what seems to have been a creative midlife crisis, and the turning point both in his career and the history of comics. Lee said that “The great thing about it”–comics–“was working with the greatest artists and writers.” But, referring to Martin Goodman without naming him, Lee explained that “Unfortunately our publisher thought comics were read by little kids or illiterate adults.” Lee claimed his unnamed publisher even decreed that he could not use words of more than three syllables. Dissatisfied with these restrictions, “Finally I was ready to quit.” Then he added, self-deprecatingly, “I make slow decisions. I was 40 years old when I said that.” (Actually, he was 39, which is close enough.) But “Then I did The Fantastic Four and everything changed.” Lee told us that he even used words of more than three syllables in the comics!

“I think at that point the books said Atlas Publications,” Stan recalled. Actually, Goodman’s line of comics had dropped the title “Atlas,” and if you look at the cover of Fantastic Four #1 or The Incredible Hulk #1, you’ll see no company name listed. But Stan’s real point was that he thought the company needed a catchier, more memorable title, “so I came up with Marvel.” (Though he didn’t mention it, this appropriately came from the title of the company’s first superhero comic, Marvel Comics #1, published in 1939.) This name, Stan pointed out, lent itself to slogans like “Make Mine Marvel!” and “the Marvel Age of Comics.” “You see how corny I am,” he confided to the crowd.

Even though Lee has done work for DC in recent years, it is clear that feelings linger from the old days, when Marvel’s rival so thoroughly dominated the comics market. Stan told the audience that back in the 1960s DC “called itself National Comics.” Observing Marvel’s success since it took on its new name, Lee continued, National “decided to change their name,” too. So, he said, they “hired a professional name change company,” which “labored for weeks” to come up with just the right new name. And, after all this herculean labor, Stan told us, “they came up with DC.” And Stan was and remains unimpressed. “Make Mine DC!? My God!”

Quesada told Lee that “One thing that got me hooked” on Marvel Comics, “besides the great stories was the sense of community,” and Quesada talked about what he called “this magnificent world of artists and writer” that Stan dubbed the Marvel Bullpen. Ah, yes, the sense of community at Marvel. I remember that from my time there in the 1980s and early 1990s, before most of my friends and I all got bounced.

Lee then praised Quesada and “every idea this guy comes up with,” especially Civil War to tumultuous applause. Quesada demurred, saying that Civil War wasn’t his idea. Lee retorted that “The great thing about being editor in chief us you can take credit for everything! I’ve been doing it for years!”

Then, more seriously, Lee said, “I get so much credit,” but that “a lot of it should go to Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, John Romita, John Buscema,” and he added other names from Marvel’s Silver Age as the audience applauded.

Then Lee explained that “You can draw a script in a hundred different ways,” but success in visual storytelling “depends on where you put a closeup, where you put a long shot.” Stan continued, “A guy like Kirby could not draw a dull panel.” Lee said that his artists were “like the finest directors” in movies. “If it wasn’t for these talented artists, I wouldn’t be sitting here getting these nice things said [to me] by Joe Quesada.”

Quesada ventured, “There has to be a ringmaster.”

Knowing a straight line when he heard one, Lee replied, “Of course, it’s all due to me,” and the audience burst into laughter.

The crowd got it. When Stan Lee appears in public, there are actually two Stans on view. One is his over-the-top public persona, and the audience recognized he was doing it ironically, as a self-created comedy character, mocking his own ego, and they loved it. Then, every so often, Stan lets the mask slip, and you see a more serious, generous Stan Lee, as when he graciously praised his many collaborators. And the audience loved this Stan, as well.

As I wrote last week, I missed seeing Stephen Colbert at the con earlier that day. Colbert has created for himself a brilliantly funny public persona, trusting his audience to understand and appreciate his masterful use of irony. And Stan Lee has done much the same thing, and like Colbert, devised a comic persona that has won him a loyal and enthusiastic following.

Quesada asked Lee to explain how he went about collaboration.

“When I first thought of Spider-Man,” Lee began, ” I wanted Jack Kirby to do it.” Stan said he told Kirby, “I wanted a teenager with the power of a spider who can climb up walls. And I said, “˜But, Jack, don’t make him look like Captain America. You know how you like to draw these heroic guys with big muscles. I want him to be just this little, wimpy kid, just like anybody.'” So Kirby drew the character, “and it looked like a young Captain America,” Stan told us. “I thought Steve Ditko had the kind of style that might be better.” So it was Ditko who drew the kind of Spider-Man that Lee was looking for. “That’s how important the art style is.”

With regard to working with Ditko, Stan told us, “With Spider-Man I did the first plot by myself, [and] probably the second plot. Then Steve Ditko made suggestions,” Lee continued. “Probably by the twentieth issue he was doing the plotting.”

This Lee was explaining how the “Marvel method” of creating stories worked, and how he could give a story his personal style even if someone else had plotted it. “When I wrote the copy,” he said, meaning the dialogue and captions, “I could give it the style.” Indeed, Lee revealed that he enjoyed having the artists do plotting: “It made it more fun for me,” he said, because “the pages would be a surprise.” Then “I would change it,” meaning the story, “in the writing.”

In “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” the show I co-curated at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art, we have a good example of this. We have a page from Fantastic Four Annual #3, in which, according to the notes he made in the border, Kirby intended that Doctor Doom was raging because the Thing had crushed his hands in a previous story. In his dialogue Lee altered Doom’s motivation, having him instead seethe with fury over his previous defeats by Reed Richards. This more clearly motivates Doom’s attempt in the annual to wreck Richards’ wedding to Susan Storm.

Turning to his work with Kirby, Lee asserted that “I came up with Galactus,” but when Kirby sent him the pages for Fantastic Four #48, “All of a sudden I see a naked nut on a surfboard, and I said “What’s that?'” This was, of course, the character we now know as the Silver Surfer. “Jack said, “˜Well, I figure anybody as powerful as Galactus… he ought to have a herald who goes ahead of him….'” Stan added, “And to Jack it was just a throwaway character.””

Lee perceived, “There was a certain nobility to” the Surfer. “Jack drew him in such a way that he looked like the goodest [sic] person who ever lived, and I tried to write him that way.” Lee confessed, “I sort of fell in love with the character.” Lee said he then had the Surfer appear in further issues, and came to think of him as his character. “I sort of feel the Silver Surfer is mine because Jack just tossed it away.”

Lee declared he was engaged in a “real collaborative process” with such artists and that “I didn’t know what they were going to bring me.” He added, “Because I was doing all the writing, I could keep the style consistent.”

Lee then explained that “you want to write a story in such a way that you’re talking to the reader.” Working on “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” I realized just how important Stan’s narration is. Nowadays, narration and captions have fallen out of favor in superhero comic books, except when a character is narrating his own adventure. But Stan used captions, not in the guise of an anonymous, omniscient narrator, but as the voice of the storyteller, who spoke in Stan’s distinctive manner, reaching out to the readers, creating a bond of community with them.

Returning to the subject of working with Ditko, Stan revealed, “I think Steve made up the idea of Spider-Man shooting webs.” Lee maintained, “I wanted him crawling walls, [and] super-strong. I came up with the web-shooters idea.”

It turns out that Ditko claimed in a 1965 interview that he himself came up with the “web gimmick on wrist.” But in a 1988 interview an artist named Eric Stanton, who shared a studio with Ditko in the 1960s, claimed, “I think I added the business about the webs coming out of his hands“.

Who’s right? In 1962, when Lee and Ditko created Spider-Man, neither of them imagined how successful the character would become. So how likely was either one to remember precisely who came up with what? And now, forty-five years later, memories may have blurred even further. What impresses me is that Stan gave Ditko credit for the idea of Spider-Man shooting webs; who came up with the idea of the actual web-shooter devices seems less important (and, after all, both the Spider-Man movies and comics have now disposed of them as nonessential).

Taken with Lee’s description of how his collaborations worked, Quesada observed, it’s “like [the] jazz composition idea.” “Yeah,” Stan enthusiastically agreed, “like riffs.”

Next Quesada asked who was responsible for the “soap opera quality” and “cliffhangers” in Marvel stories.

Stan replied quietly, “It was me.” Then he explained, with undisguised practicality, “It’s a lot easier to take one plot and keep it going for a lot of issues.” Moreover, “and in those days I was writing all the stories! So it made it easier for me.” Then, in a confidential manner, Stan advised the audience, “I’m going to give you a real philosophical theory you can keep with you the rest of your life. You will find that some of the most creative decisions in life are made because of laziness and selfishness.” The audience laughed, and Quesada commented, “That’s good.”

Next Quesada asked if Lee had had any idea that the characters he co-created would become as successful as they have.

“If someone said you’ll be at a convention talking to people with nothing better to do, at in a million years,” replied Stan. “We were hoping the books would sell, so we wouldn’t lose our jobs and could pay the rent. If someone said you’ll be talking at conventions to people with nothing better to do, and that Tobey Maguire and Nic Cage and Robert Downey Jr. would be starring in movies based on what we were doing. . . .we would’ve said, “˜You’re drunk! No way!'”

“Did you think you’d do better than DC?” Quesada inquired.

“Oh, yes!” answered Stan. “I read DC books. There was no way they could compete with us!” And the audience laughed.

More seriously, Lee explained, “I felt they were in the wrong track. For example, in the Batman books most if the stories were detective stories. There was never any personal problem in Batman’s life. . . .We were concentrating on how can Spider-Man get enough money to pay for Aunt May.”

Lee explained that he and his collaborators “would try to get into the personal life of these characters, and I knew that that was better.”

It seems so obvious how Marvel in the 1960s differed from DC, but by Stan’s account, DC just couldn’t figure it out. Lee said, “We hoped they would never discover” what made Marvel comics sell. He told us that he had sources at DC, just as they did at Marvel, so he heard what they were up to.

“They wondered when our books started to outsell theirs,” Lee said. “They decided it was because you [Marvel] use more dialogue on your covers. I said next month, no dialogue on covers.” And of course, he continued, Marvel still outsold them. “They had another meeting,” Lee recounted, at which they decided “Marvel uses more red on their covers,” so when Stan heard this, he decreed that Marvel wouldn’t use red on the next month’s covers, and Marvel still sold better. This “went on and on,” Stan stated, “and I liked it that way!”

But what would Stan Lee have liked to do if he hadn’t been a success in comics?

Considering Stan’s skill as a public performer, it should not come as a surprise that, as he told us, “When I was young I wanted to be an actor.” In fact, as a teenager during the Great Depression. Lee was a member of the Federal Theatre Project, sponsored by the government’s Works Projects Administration (WPA). “I was on the stage. Orson Welles was a member, too. But he was in another locale.” However, Lee told us, “It didn’t pay anything. Comics paid more.” Stan concluded, “I should’ve stayed in it. I could’ve been Brad Pitt!”

Of course now Stan found himself a stage performing for an audience. He told us, “You don’t know what a good feeling this is. You’re a captive audience. I can say anything! My wife won’t even listen to me.”

Here’s something else that isn’t as surprising as it may first seem: Stan Lee also wanted to work in advertising. “I treated all of Marvel Comics like a big ad campaign,” he told the audience, and mentioned how he came up with “catchphrases” for Marvel like “‘Nuff said!” and “Excelsior!”

But, Stan claimed, if he hadn’t been in comics, “I would’ve starved.” He “wanted to write the Great American Novel,” he wanted to be an actor, and he wanted to be in advertising, but he conceded that each of these “wouldn’t have worked.”

Returning to the subject of comics, Stan spoke about his relationship with Marvel readers at a time when the world did not take comic books seriously: “We had an inside joke that no one else understood.”

So it seemed appropriate that Lee and Quesada started serenading the audience with the theme song for Marvel’s 1960s official fan club, the Merry Marvel Marching Society, whose very name is a joke. The audience, in the palm of Stan’s hand, applauded enthusiastically. Stan wrote the song, and Quesada complimented him, “Those are darn good lyrics.”

But Stan can do more than write jingles. He then told us that he once write a poem, titled “God Woke.” (In fact, there is a copy of the poem on display in “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” and it will be published later this year in the book Stan Lee: Conversations, from the University Press of Mississippi.) “Someone read it,” Stan continued, and “believe it or not, we’re working on a major motion picture based on “˜God Woke.”’

FRIDAY FEB. 23, 8:30 PM

Stan mentioned this at the opening of “Stan Lee: A Retrospective” later that night, and he seems genuinely astonished and delighted about that “God Woke” may become a movie. Here’s something else that years ago he could never have imagined happening.

The opening was a great success and, I’m happy to say, one of the highlights of my life in comics. All of us present excitedly watched as Stan went through the show, frequently surprised and, it seems, genuinely thrilled at the many original art pages and artifacts we had found from his lengthy career. He was excited when I showed him the copy of “God Woke” in our exhibit. We also had a copy of Esquire from the 1960s that had a feature article about Marvel on display on the bottom shelf of a display case. Stan actually lay down on the floor to get a better look, but we need not have worried, because the Man got back on his feet without difficulty.

Several veterans of 20th century Marvel were present, including Danny Fingeroth, Steve Saffel, Jim Salicrup and myself. It was disappointing that present day Marvel chose not to send a representative to the opening. But I felt the museum was alive and suffused with the true spirit of Marvel Comics on this memorable night.

Would that all of us could live to see the kind of success and appreciation that Stan Lee has deservedly received after his long, groundbreaking career. Perhaps the manga invasion of the last several years still would have happened, but I doubt that there would be an American comics industry today if not for the revolution Stan Lee spearheaded in the 1960s. He is Marvel’s true Captain, still going strong, still an inspiration. His familiar personal motto is “Excelsior!”, a Latin word meaning “higher” or “Ever upward!” and that encapsulates the classic Marvel spirit, something we still need today.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

Recently Marvel has sent me two handsome new reprint volumes: a new hardcover edition of Neil Gaiman’s Marvel 1602, for which I wrote an introduction, and the massive and expensive Daredevil Omnibus Vol. 1, a compilation of Frank Miller’s early work with the character, including an interview that I did with Miller and his collaborator Klaus Janson back in 1981. I also wrote the 1980s Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe entries on the Kingpin (definitely: I remember discussing it with Frank before I wrote it) and Elektra (probably: it reads like my work) that are included in the back of the book!

Of course I also hope any of you passing through New York City between now and July will visit “Stan Lee: A Retrospective” at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (www.moccany.org)!

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Trailer Park: Premiere Magazine is Dead. Long Live Premiere.

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 3:45 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

We begin today with a quotation:

My ashes, as the phoenix, may bring forth
A bird that will revenge upon you all:
And in that hope I throw mine eyes to heaven,
Scorning whate’er you can afflict me with.
3 Henry VI (1.4.35-8)

For those who need a little more context this essentially says, “Ha-Ha.”

Not just a Nelson “Ha-Ha” but a hearty Bob and Doug McKenzie, blow a couple of bullets from your nose, kind of “Ha-Ha.”

I normally don’t take too much satisfaction in pointing out the demise of a periodical that I bought on a consistent basis and enjoyed the hell out of for simply the level of respect given to the medium.

I can’t stand, and if you’ve digested the various magazines devoted to movie making and the business of film you know where I’m coming from, when pundits who have too much time and too readily an access to a thesaurus want to appear to have the linguistic arsenal to deconstruct a movie while championing obsequious movies that neither you nor I will ever the time, or temperament, to watch.

But, really, I have a bad case of schadenfreude and it filled me with utter delight to see that Premiere magazine is no longer printing any more issues.

Sure, this story would be different if certain things never happened but they did and there isn’t anything that can change that the very same man who wrote me this note is now in the unemployment line.

Dear Mr. Stipp:As the editor in chief of Premiere, I was completely unaware of any conversations you may have had with Jessica Letkemann. Our Trailer Stash online feature grew out of Tom Roston’s “Notes From The Dream Factory” column in Premiere’s Jan/Feb 2007 issue about movie trailers. The editorial department thought it would be a good idea to extend the concept to premiere.com, and so Trailer Stash was born. As a former freelancer, I sympathize with how you feel, but I can assure you that none of us on the magazine side of Premiere had any idea that you were doing this sort of column or that you had talked to premiere.com about it.

I hope we can work together in the future.

All the best,
Peter Herbst
Editor-in-Chief, Premiere

But, in the end, even a legal boilerplate response to my inquiries as to why I believed something so lame like a trailer column could be boosted like a pack of Chicklets in a 7-11 wouldn’t prevent the progress of karma.

It is, however, a hollow victory because, like I mentioned, I actually bought the magazine. I loved the balance it struck between film criticism and puffy journalism; I mean, really, a Day In The Life of an Extra? I’m not pointing fingers as to what could have went wrong for these fine, upstanding people but any story that wants to sing a swan song for the little engine that couldn’t only need to look over their shoulder and see how magazines like Empire in the UK are managing to increase their market share while evolving with their audience.

In fact, one of the contributing issues about why this once mighty mag has taken it on the chin is its inability to adapt to the marketplace. I know, for some, the talk of how to monetize a property is about as exciting as watching an episode of The Simple Life but take a look at one publication, Advertising Age, had to say about the harbingers of doom that led to this moment:

Premiere’s paid circulation has declined slowly over the years, from an average of 616,089 in 1995 to 492,498 in the second half of last year, according to Harrington Associates and the Audit Bureau of Circulations. Even more ominous, Premiere sold 24.7% fewer ad pages in 2006 than it did the year before, according to the Publishers Information Bureau.

I know, as a salesperson, having to go out and hustle ad space isn’t easy, especially when you can’t show an advertiser a return-on-investment figure that would make it appealing to them to open up their checkbook. They never really messed with the formula that got them to where they would eventually die on their feet and, I would posit, that’s exactly what’s wrong with traditional “old media” types nowadays.

You can’t just expect for people to be satiated with getting all their awesome, super cool information in a monthly digest. It’s simply not as relevant as the Internet, certainly not as fast, and that’s what’s killing me when I see geezers think that to stay true to what worked in the past will always work in the future. Premiere had no significant web presence in the way of exclusive material, no outreach online to other web entities, a site that looked like it was crafted by a 2nd year computer science major and a shocking disdain to incorporate any of these things as a last ditch effort to save what was left of their publishing shell.

Since I’m not the one walking to Premiere’s HQ with a stogie in my mouth, walking into a well-lit office, surrounded by neophyte sycophants who tell me that every idea is a great idea I can’t say what was going on in the last throes of this magazine’s life. I do know, though, that stubbornness to take an excellent brand that most would kill for to the next level is appalling and, in the end, they self-destructed their print publication with the kind of panache that’s usually reserved for the “thump-thump” of a fast moving squirrel that’s eaten by the underside of some Firestones that are strapped onto an H3. For that, huzzah, good fellows, you’ve done well in not figuring out how to stay afloat and viable.

It’s hard for me not to care about the great pieces that came out of Premiere’s camp but it’s easy, real easy, not to just a laugh a little on the inside based on the buckets of vitriol I have for the poor way they choose to do business. They would do well in seeing this as a new opportunity and a chance to embrace the ways to be inventive on the Internet, without cribbing too much from those who have been here longer and possess a little more class.
KNOCKED UP (2007)

Director: Judd Apatow
Cast:
Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jason Segel
Release: June 1, 2007
Synopsis:
Allison Scott (Heigl) is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone (Rogen) results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby’s father, Allison decides to give the lovable doof a chance.

An overgrown kid who has no desire to settle down, Ben learns that he has a big decision to make with his kid’s mom-to-be: will he hit the road or stay in the picture? Courting a woman you’ve just Knocked Up, however, proves to be a little difficult when the two try their hands at dating. As they discover more about one another, it becomes painfully obvious that they’re not the soul mates they’d hoped they might be.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative; I Am Not Drinking The Populist Kool-Aid On This. This could either be an unmitigated disaster or this could be the one comedy you could actually con your old lady into seeing.

One of the biggest issues, though, I had with this trailer is that by the end of this thing you’re not quite sure of whether this is going to be filled with the same raucous and raunchy comedy we all came to know and love from THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or if this is going to be VIRGIN-lite; however, I’m feeling it’s more of the latter.

The opening of this trailer is mediocre and kind of vanilla. I’m not so much taking contention with the pacing, we’re whisked right into Katherine Heigl’s place in this movie, we’re led to believe that Allison (or Alison with one “L” as IMDB and the trailer seem a bit conflicted about what was written on her fictitious birth certificate) is some homely PA who is getting her chance to be in front of the camera. Before we have any other idea of who the hell this chick is or why we should try and comprehend what’s going on we go over to the much more interesting Ben character who is knocking out some homey into a dank pool and getting his swerve on as a pathetic looking bachelor with no future. Harold Ramis’ presence doesn’t really provide anything more than just extra context with the idea that Ben is a gimp with no prospects in life.

This is where we all can see everything that’s about to happen and, thus, rendering the first fifteen or so minutes of this movie essentially pointless; David Mamet had some things to say about filmmaking where you could walk into a film way after it’s started and still get what’s going on and it wasn’t complimentary. 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN excelled because right from the word “go” Carell was inordinately interesting and pathetic. Let’s hope that the same is the case here.

What’s more alarming is that the moment we get to sample from the film where we’re given an extended scene is where Ben’s friend hits on Allison’s friend who happens to be married. It’s excruciating because you’re expecting something funny to come out of this, obviously it was put there for a reason, but the big “pay-off” just hangs there like a stale fart.

“Eight Weeks Later”

And this is still not funny! Everything that’s come out of Ben’s mouth isn’t amusing, his one-night-stand turned impregnated lady isn’t interesting, and this whole set-up is taking way too long. I actually suffer from the shakes in the sheer terror that this flick is going to be a turkey, that it’s not as quick with the funny as its predecessor.

It’s not until we get ¾’s of the way through things where I wish I had a CUT AND PASTE option for myself. It’s here, only here, where we actually begin not to laugh but to actually feel like we’re given an actual movie to be sold on. I don’t why in God’s sacred name we’re given a Traveling Wilburys ditty, it’s kind of disconcerting in an Odd Choice sort of way, but Seth’s actions from this point actually pump life into what could-be for this movie. Treating his girlfriend’s children like pets when he plays with them? Funny. Paul Rudd’s distillation of what marriage is actually like? A little fetid with all that we know marriage is not but it’s still amusing. Katherine’s meltdown in the delivery room? Um, I think we all agree that we’ve seen this before and it was funny the first few dozen times we’ve been exposed to the joke.

“”¦And how grown-ups are born.”

And the Voice-Over Guy? Completely cheesy in every way and acts like a harbinger of how un-VIRGIN this movie looks like it’s going to be. Buyer beware.

THE KINGDOM (2007)

Director: Peter Berg
Cast: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Jeremy Piven, Danny Huston, Richard Jenkins
Release: April 20, 2007
Synopsis: Foxx stars as whip-smart FBI Special Agent Ronald Fleury, who has just received the assignment of his career: assemble an elite team (played by Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper and Jason Bateman) and go to Riyadh to hunt down and capture the terrorist mastermind behind a deadly attack on Americans working in Saudi Arabia. The feds have only one week to infiltrate and cripple a cell bent on jihad to western society.

No training could prepare Fleury and his team for the disorienting culture shock they face once inside this scorching foreign land–a byzantine maze of profiteering politicians and storefront terrorists. Bound by handlers who refuse to play ball with the U.S., the agents quickly find the local law enforcement more hindrance than help and soon grow uncertain of anybody’s allegiance.

But when a sympathetic Saudi police captain helps them navigate Riyadh politics and investigate the true cause of the attack, Fleury finds an unexpected comrade-in-arms. In their lightning fast attempt to crack the case, the partners’ search leads them straight to the killers’ front door. Now in a fight for their own lives, two teams on opposite sides of the war on terror won’t stop until justice is found in The Kingdom.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Don’t be fooled, Americans, THE KINGDOM was filmed right here in Phoenix.

I find this bit amusing and I can’t figure out why. There have been other locations that have doubled as something else but the fact that they’ve passing off the Middle East for a freeway I travel almost every day just makes me laugh a lit on the inside. For a little bit of realism, check this out and let the truth run free.

We open up to people playing a rousing game of softball as we’re told it’s the Western Housing Compound, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Again, it’s not. It’s Arizona. In fact, a lot of these places look oddly familiar to me.

So, as a whole lot of people are playing the game we get some gunshots and then even a drive-by mixing things up, and I think you could easily mistake this red herring for an assassination as I think it was done to probably to help the visitors feel like they were back in LA. Anyway, they go with the whole assassin thing, detonating a large explosive device, it’s a pretty sweet looking explosion too, done in broad daylight so you can really make out the grey plumes and orange punch of flame, and we get a really awkward exchange between Jamie Foxx and his on-screen kid. The young’n says he’s not one of the bad guys and the kid retorts that he isn’t either. Ok, so what? Were we to assume that Foxx is some kind of lethal dude but it’s OK to help kill other people so long as your sanctioned by the Gub-Ment of the US of A? The message is a but muddled there.

Props for the trailer just quickly whipping through the introductions of Jason Bateman (Good for him getting so much more work), Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper; we’re given a taste and that’s all that’s needed at this point.

“It’s a bit like Mars.” This is a line that Cooper has as we’re into the thick of this murder investigation that’s being headed by these government employees when he describes what it’s like in Saudi Arabia and all I have to say is wow. He not only nailed SA but AZ as well; you do not even realize.

Things kick up an even greater notch as we get that instrumental music, a lot of drums banging and the tempo is just like an accelerator pedal pushed down to the floor, with expediency being the order of the day here. It seems that there is a lot of politicking here, let’s hope this doesn’t become another solid, but real slow on the action, SYRIANA which could happen. The one saving grace is that Peter Berg is behind the wheel so there is some hope here.

We get more music, more action here and there, and the next thing you know we’re back in Arizona with these guys driving on my freeway; sorry, it just takes me completely out of the moment. However, I am really digging on where we’re going. It seems this Cat and Mouse movie wants to live up to the idea of moving forward and being smart about it as well. You just sense it. Even as we get a shoulder fired RPG, coming out of a wicked attack scene, I am completely on board for this ride.

Oh yeah, a car flips over near the very end of this thing. I think I passed that mile marker a few times last week on my way back from work in Scottsdale.

I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE (2007)

Director: Chris Rock
Cast:
Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi
Release: March 16, 2007
Synopsis: I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE, written, directed by and starring Chris Rock, is a sophisticated comedy about marriage and the lure of a new love. Nikki (Kerry Washington) is the exciting free spirit who makes Richard’s (Chris Rock) daydreams come true while Richard’s wife Brenda (Gina Torres) is so preoccupied with her own career and raising their two children that she has little time for her husband.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Awful. At the beginning I’m on-board for all the usual trappings of a comedy; somehow, sometimes, I wonder if there is just any other way to open a 1st person movie without having to resort to Voiceover Guy or narration from our protagonist. Que sera sera.

So, we get Rock explaining how awesome his life is. He chats up his wife of seven years. This actually helps us kind of understand what this movie is going to explore. The woman isn’t a shrew, isn’t looking to rip his wang off at any opportunity and doesn’t seem like the kind of gal looking to cuckold him. So, what’s the big reveal?

They’re bored with each other.

So, how do we proceed from here? It’s disconcerting that the trailer makers go to En Vogue’s old-school “My Lovin'” as it kind of feels like it was done for ethic and not esthetic sakes. I guess turnabout is still fair play but, people, the song is really old and I’ve taken contention with this trick on more than one occasion. However, we press on with the idea of how to make a 7-year itch go away without it seeming like a stupid, vapid insult to our collective intelligence.

We take two steps back with the trailer when Rock proposes to buy his wife some suggestive undergarments only for her to grab the granny panties in typical form. Simple question, if his marriage was so awesome then why did he say it was at the beginning if his wife doesn’t want anything to do with sex? It’s rhetorical but logistically valid I think considering how everything starts.

Now, Rock meets an old friend in the process of purchasing the panties in question and the friend not only is still hot but flashes him a nice smile and her soon-to-be-purchased see-through thongs. No, nothing could come out of that, right?

Right. Rock asks us all, like we’re in the pitch meeting with him, What would it be like to be single again? (Gasps everywhere) The problem with this question and, consequently, this trailer is that we switch allegiances. Not a good thing if you want me to follow what you’re saying.

At first Rock seems like he’s the protagonist with the problem that needs working out, he’s living in a pressure cooker of a life that seems long gone from his days as a bachelor, but then he becomes the possible cheater, thereby, switching any good will we have for him and his family to his wife who, possibly, shows her love throughout the film. This ancillary storyline about this past friend fucking up the works with her hotness and flirtiness just serves to confuse. And if you don’t believe this theory just listen to the slow soul soundtrack that plays behind his wife as she’s near tears wondering where in hell her husband is at and tell me there isn’t something happening.

The premise seems like almost perfunctory to the larger issue of what to do about staleness in a marriage. That you can’t look and fantasize about other ladies seems to be, somewhat, at the crux of this but it’s all very scattered and, I posit, the message is lost somewhere in this trailer.

OCEANS THIRTEEN (2007)

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Elliott Gould, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner
Release: June 13, 2007
Synopsis: In the new sequel to Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Twelve, the cast is reunited with director Steven Soderbergh and producer Jerry Weintraub. Joining the cast for the new adventure are Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Love It. I absolutely hate it, and I realize that in an era where Hitler exterminated millions of people in the name of his own insanity that hate is strong word not to be used flippantly, but I hate it when I have to endure a long, wordy, opening for a trailer.

It doesn’t help me understand the movie, I feel it’s lazy and self-indulgent of the trailer makers to do it and I am loathe to even try and figure out what in the hell I’m listening to when I don’t understand the context.

I love this long, wordy opening.

Since I’m familiar with this OCEAN’S franchise, as are a lot of you, we kind of all “get” what Pacino, who looks back to form in some regard here, is saying as we open on a large, sweeping vista of Vegas (Best city in the world for Boozin’ and Losin’, IMHO), is saying as he describes the kind of hurt he wants to put on Danny Ocean and crew. We don’t need to know much but because we know he’s talking to Clooney and because we all know what kind of a rabbit turd OCEANS 12 was so we know it couldn’t get worse than that I am willing to say that Clooney really shines as well with his witty retort back to Al.

Now, since this is teaser, the name of this game is time and I feel that the teaser takes a bit of a misstep when, in the scene following the first one, we have George kind of hint at what this job is going to be as Brad Pitt gives his one of his own “O” faces.

I do like, however, the sweeping montage of disguises that our guys are going to don this time out. While it’s not riveting or engaging it certainly makes for a smile when you can see Don Cheadle as the closest thing I’ll see to a black Elvis this year.

I’m glad that Casey Affleck and Scott Caan are back for reasons that should be clear when you watch the first entry into the series; they are really the pivotal goofballs that make watching OCEAN’S 11 more than just a casual comedy. They’re weird, we’re not given a shred of back-story, yet they’re just amusing to look at.

The other thing that makes this teaser note-worthy is its ending with Andy Garcia. I didn’t know what to make of him standing in front of the mirror, looking all pimp, with Clooney asking if he’s ready, to do what we have no idea but who gives a fuck, and as soon as Garcia says he was born ready it is Clooney’s eye-rolling that seals the deal for me. It’s subtle, funny and makes me eager to see what this job will entail.

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