FRED Entertainment

October 31, 2006

Toy Box: Nightmare Before Christmas Jack/Snowmobile Deluxe Set

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 12:10 am
toybox.jpg

Classics are rare. And holiday classics are even rarer, largely because so much of what is put out for the holidays – Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter – blows chunks like Nicole Ritchie after a five course meal. But occasionally there’s a gem, and occasionally that gem stands the test of time to become a classic.

Such is the fate of A Nightmare Before Christmas. When it was first released in 1993, it was not a huge hit at the box office. Part of this was due to marketing, because they weren’t quite sure how to sell it – was it a kid’s movie? An adult movie? Or something in between? And how do you sell something in between? Remember, this was before Toy Story and Pixar proved that a film could entertain both adults and kids at the same time.

Toys were made, and they went on clearance almost universally. But then the DVD hit the shelves, and kids were enthralled. Their parents were paying attention too, and those old toys suddenly dried up. The film is now a regular for the Halloween and Christmas season, which makes it fairly unique.

NECA picked up the toy license a few years ago, and began what will turn out to be the definitive line for the movie. They’ve produced 5 series of figures, several boxed sets, and a wide variety of other goodies as well. Tonight I’m covering the very latest in their releases, the Jack Skellington/Snowmobile deluxe set.

If you have any questions, drop me an email at mwc@mwctoys.com or visit my other site at Michael’s Review of the Week.

“Nightmare Before Christmas Jack/Snowmobile deluxe set”

Jack uses a couple different means of delivering ‘toys’. There’s the sleigh and reindeer created by Finklestein, but there’s also the small sleigh piled high with goodies that is pulled by his trusty snowmobile. That’s the set we get here, done up right with even an action feature.

toybox_103106_1.jpg

Packaging – ***
Look, it’s a box! The graphics are somewhat dull on this one, but it has the usual box advantages – easy to store for the MIBBers, very sturdy on the shelf, and a nice big window to see the figure and vehicle. On the downside, it is not collector friendly, and you’ll have to tear things up to get all the goodies out of the box.

toybox_103106_2.jpg

Sculpting – ***1/2
Both the vehicle and figure are really the focus of this set, so I’ll be discussing both in the main categories.

This is the same Jack we saw in series 1. He was a terrific figure then, so it’s no surprise that he’s still a terrific figure, even with the overall improvements in the industry over the last two years. The sculpt matches up with the source material extremely well, and they even managed to get plenty of articulation into a rather tough design.

toybox_103106_4.jpg

Now, there have been other statues and collectibles based on this particular scene, and in them Jack fits better into the snowmobile. But while he doesn’t look perfectly comfortable in there, I’m much happier that they went with an actual figure, in the proper scale, instead of creating some sort of hybrid designed to only work with the vehicle. And of course, there’s a nice rubber seat belt just to ensure he’s not going to fall out on any high speed turns.

Jack’s hand sculpts work fine with the steering wheel, and while they are twisted in placed inside the box, you can get rid of the ties and still keep his hands firmly on the wheel.

The sled looks terrific, and is pretty much in scale with the rest of the entire series. It includes the scratches down either side, and all the right detailing in the rivets and treads. The large bundle of packages is wrapped with a separate rubber rope, giving it a more realistix appearance than had it all been one piece. And the rubber rope attaching the sleigh to the snowmobile is removable, in case you want to change up the look. The bundle is also hollow, but made from a fairly thick rubber, so it doesn’t end up looking like a chew toy.

There are screws holding the snowmobile together, since it’s assembled from two halves, but they are not particularly distracting, nor do they ruin the lines of the sculpt.

Paint – ***
This score evens out the paint ops on the snowmobile/sleigh (great) with the work on Jack himself (not quite as great).

toybox_103106_3.jpg

The bright colors of the vehicle will contrast nicely with many of the darker tones of the rest of the series. Everything on the vehicle is clean and sharp, with nice cuts between colors and just the right amount of detail painting. I’m particularly happy with the shading and shadowing on the pile of toys, which makes it appear lumpier and larger than it really is.

Jack is good, but has a few issues. The white of his head isn’t as consistent and even in coverage and color as the first series version, and the general quality of his paint just seemed a step down from past releases. He’s not terrible, but more on par with mass market toys than the specialty market quality we’ve gotten accostumed to.

Articulation – ***1/2
The vehicle isn’t particularly articulated, although it does have small wheels on both the bottom of the snowmobile (which drive the pull back action) and on the bottom of the sleigh (which simply turn free). The treads themselves do not turn, but the steering wheel has some movement in it.

Jack has plenty of articulation to make up for it though. I gave the series 1 Jack four stars in this category, but this time around I’m having a little more trouble with gapping and weak joints, particularly at the bicep cuts. He has a great ball jointed neck with plenty of movement, ball jointed shoulders and hips, cut biceps and thighs, and pin knees, elbows and wrists. There’s also the joint at the chest where the coat mets the lower torso.

I believe he still has the two joints in the neck, one at the top and one at the bottom, but I couldn’t get the lower one to free up. I’ve broke enough of my stuff to avoid going wild with it, but the old freezer trick is in his future.

toybox_103106_6.jpg

Accessories – **1/2
While this is a more average score, I’m not counting either the figure or the vehicle as an accessory, but rather the main highlight. Therefore, while this category is still important, it won’t have as big of an effect on the final overall score.

There’s one accessory here, and it makes complete sense. It’s Jack’s goggles that he wore while driving the snowmobile. They are made from a hard plastic, and fit on over the top of his head. It took some work to get them in place, and keeping them there is a little tricky, but once you manage to find the sweet spot they look terrific.

toybox_103106_5.jpg

Action Feature – ***
The snowmobile is powered with a pull-back action. You know what I’m talking about – rest the vehicle on a hard surface, pull it backward to wind the gears, and let it go. In theory, it zips ahead full speed.

And the theory works pretty well here, although some times I had to fiddle with it just to get it started rolling. But as action features go, this one is innocous for the collector and fun for the kids, a great combination. The only downside for the collector is if you don’t quite get all the oompf out of the drive, until you place it back on the shelf, and zip! He runs down an entire town of figures.

Fun Factor – ***
Put the nifty action feature together with a very well sculpted and sturdy vehicle, and you get a solid toy for kids who are big fans. Of course, it will be predominately collectors buying this, but the few kids that do manage to get their hands on it will be happy.

Value – **1/2
At $24, about twice the price of a single figure, you’re getting a average value. Had I paid $20, or had there been a few more extra packages, another half star would have popped up in this category.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. If you’re picking them out on the shelf, look for the very best paint ops on Jack. When you’re playing around with him, remember that some of those joints are a tad fragile. And last but not least, make sure those gears are completely wound down before you place him on the shelf. He might be wearing his seat belt, but driving off a high shelf onto a hard floor is still going to leave a mark.

Overall – ***1/2
If you’re a fan of the movie, you really need to have this full line in your collection. Hey, it makes for a terrific Halloween or Christmas decoration too, and I’ve seen some amazing displays of the entire set put together with custom built versions of Halloweentown. Also, if you missed out on the first Jack, this is a great chance to add him to your display and get a great vehicle in the deal. Even if you aren’t picking up the entire series, this vehicle with Jack is large enough to make a nice display all it’s own.

Where to Buy –
Hot Topic and Spencers stores should get these in, and your online options include:

Amazing Toyz has him in stock for $24.

CornerStoreComics also has him in for $24. They also have the great Oogie Boogie set still available!

Related Links –
I’ve reviewed a lot of the Nightmare product produced by NECA so far…

– as I mentioned, there’s a guest review of the Lock, Shock and Barrel set, and my review of series 4.

– also recent was series 3, Jack/Oogie Boogie boxed set, and the 14″ Jack with multiple heads.

– the second series of figures, with Santa Jack, the Witches, Harlequinn Demon and Dr. Finklestein was one of my favorites.

– I also reviewed the first series of figures, with Jack, Sally, the Mayor and the Vampire.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/31/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Kaspar-Hauser has another special word from the law offices of Glinder & Glinder… (Thingamabob)
  • Diet Coke & Mentos – the madness continues… (Thingamabob)
  • Ever seen comic book legend Jack “The King” Kirby in the flesh? If not, rectify that now… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. “Through, through, through – he’ll get that train through!” (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 30, 2006

Spook’d #101: Extreme Lair Makeover – Move That Bus

Filed under: Comic Strips,Spook'd — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger sized comic | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Spook'd #101: Move That Bus

To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

Check out the preview to…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

Widge Goes Off #16: The Walls of If

Filed under: Widge Goes Off — widge @ 12:16 am
wgoheader.jpg

widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Miss me?

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and decaf coffee.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (32.2 MB)

Terribly busy watching horror movies. No time for box office mess, since basically all you need to know is that you can expect Saw 4 next Halloween. If you need more, find it at Box Office Mojo.

Universal’s anti-fan prickish ways.

The Browncoat Invoice.

Disney-ABC speaks sense at last.

The Clicker talks about entitlement.

Boy Scouts have no clue how to “Respect Copyrights”.

YouTube crackdowns begin.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

Nocturnal Admissions: Book Review, A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am
nocturnalheader5.gif

I was surprised the other day to receive a copy of A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film (Newmarket Press, 304 pages, $13.95, ISBN 0.307.27775.5), not because it is unusual to receive books in the mail, but because I didn’t know that there was a movie called A Good Year coming out.

The film turns out to be Ridley Scott’s adaptation of a novel by Provencal specialist Peter Mayle. The book doesn’t contain the script, but rather what is advertised as excerpts from the script, which in fact turn out to be really no more than pull quotes from the movie.

Though I haven’t seen A Good Year I decided to review the book anyway. There is a simple reason for that. I wanted to see if a seemingly lighthearted Scott film would pull my heart strings.

I admit it. I’m a sap. There is something about love stories that can really get to me. There are several occasions where I have actually gotten weepy eyed over romantic comedies, and not even the movie version, but just the script. One was Nothing Hill, which I read in paperback book form before seeing the film. Another was the first version of what became The Wedding Planer, but was called Mary Me Jane when I read it. I actually got tears in my eyes as I read the thing. Unfortunately, that version was utterly changed, though the resultant film was a huge hit. Nevertheless, consequently I have determined that I am the perfect market research tool for romances. If even the written version can unleash the waterworks, there must be something in it.

Good Year cover

So I placed A Good Year: Portrait of the Film, with an introduction by Scott and Mayle, on the desk before me and studied it. The cover shows an image of star Russell Crowe, his face covered in dappled golden light, out of focus foliage behind him. Crowe is smiling, and looking down, and his white shirt suggests casualness. So we have something new, or at least newish, here – a happy Crowe rather than the brooding, brutal, brutish Crowe of tabloid stories and previous movies. The close up appears to emphasize the change, wagging its hands and jumping up and down to say, “New Crowe, new Crowe!”

I open the cover of the slightly oversized book, and see – another image of Crowe, one that looks almost exactly like the cover image, but looking left to right. It’s clear that the publicity for the film is built this sea change in Crowe’s persona.

The subsequent book is divided into three parts. The first section is the product of interviews with both Scott and Mayle, who, it turns out, were old friends, back when both were in advertising, and before Scott became a world famous movie director and Mayle bailed from that world and began writing novels and memoirs of his life in souther France. Although the book no where makes this clear, A Good Year turns out to be a remake of A Year in Provence, already adapted to the screen, as a TV mini-series, in 1993.

The bulk of the book tells the story of the film, copiously illustrated with color stills. The final section contains “making of” stuff that essentially reads like press kit material.

The middle section is the book has an interesting affect. It comes across like a kids’ storybook, amply illustrated, surrounded by a nice big typeface and lots of white around the text. Here the tale of the film is laid out. It concerns a London trader named Max Skinner, played by Crowe, who inherits a winery from his uncle (played by Albert Finney). Traveling to Provence to liquidate the estate, he ends up staying for several weeks, meeting an attractive local woman who runs a restaurant, and dealing with both the surviving land manager and the young American woman who turns out to be the uncle’s rightful heir.

The thrust of the film is that Skinner must change. He must drop the high pressure world of finance and investment gambling for the more lackadaisical but soul replenishing pace of country life. This change must come about, in classic screwball manner, though his ritual humiliation. The movie’s charge is to alert us to be patient, that Skinner will change, and grow to accept this new way of living.

The storybook got to me at two points. One was when Skinner, in an attempt to woo the restauranteur, says he will work one night when she happens to be short handed if she will have dinner with him. Later, when he comes back from London, he surprises her and says something that on the page sounded very romantic but could be laughable out loud if Crowe doesn’t manage to say it right. I expect that he will. But don’t try it at home. Both moments started the waterworks, and I thought that, despite what might be its flaws of low comedy and sentimentality, the film might just work. At least it did on paper.

As I was reading the storybook part, it occurred to me that this might be the best way to present scripts to actors (especially if the story about Jessica Simpson is true). It reads fast, hits all the high points, manages not to leave anything out (I assume), and is amply illustrated (there would surely be a way to PhotoShop a prospective actor into the director and production designer’s vision). Reading it takes about half as long to do as the film itself would last, and weaves its magic quickly, without all the impedimenta of classic screenplay formating.

By this point, I was curious: Who wrote this thing? No author is credited on the cover or the title page. But buried on the last page of the book where its credits are listed, the book’s editing is credited to Diana Landau, who is a movie book project manager at Newmarket Press. I assume than that she wrote the text. If so, she might like to consider a career in treatment writing for recalcitrant readers. Her work could effectively change the way movies are made.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/30/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Kaspar-Hauser has a special word from the law offices of Glinder & Glinder… (Thingamabob)
  • Shill that stone age grape drink, Fred… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
  • Who’s Incapable Of Being A Millionaire? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 27, 2006

Game On! 10-28-2006

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 8:36 pm

gameon.jpg

And so it begins. He big titles are rolling in for the holidays, from standard console offerings, to big names on downloadable titles for Xbox Live Arcade, this is the season where your wallet will be tested. This week we have one of the biggest and most long awaited (and of course, unnecessarily controversial) games finally seeing release, as well as a downloadable game that potable fans have been enjoying for a while as well.

EVERY BULLY NEEDS SOME BULLY SOMETIME

bully.jpgRockstar Games is well known for video game controversy. The makers of GRAND THEFT AUTO have been sued more than I care to recognize simply due to the fact that folks aren’t doing proper parenting. So when it was announced that their next big title for PS2 would take place in a school setting, the outraged outcry began without so much as a single detail of what the gameplay was going to like. Folks were threatening to ban the game from stores before its release, calling their upcoming title a “Columbine Simulator” and other such ridiculous terms. And why? Because it came from the House that GTA Built. Never mind the fact that they never revealed the gameplay, what the tasks would be, etc”¦they just automatically assumed the worst. Well, I’m here to say this: nyah nyah neener neener. BULLY is, simply, a story about a kid who attends BULLWORTH ACADAMY”¦it’s not so much about him being a bully as it is him stopping the bullies. No guns, no death, just kids going to class and dealing with the same crap cliques that kids always have to deal with.

And, I’ll admit, young Jimmy Hopkins’ methods of dealing are a bit more violent than most parents would like, but it’s not like he doesn’t get reprimanded for his actions. Start a fight, and the prefects come and try to stop you. Vandalizing, causing a disorder, or being truant from class gets you sent to the principal’s office after too many indiscretions, and finally, you must serve detention. And yes, detention means menial labor, from mowing the football field to shoveling snow. Yes, it’s a game, but these are the tasks in the game you want to avoid.

So what is a troublemaker to do? Well, watch his own back, for one. As soon as he steps foot on campus, Jimmy is harassed and bullied, so he must use his “unique influence” over the other kids in order to get them to respect him. Sure, that means beating up a couple of punks, but that also means protecting the weaker ones. The nerds seem to call Jimmy hero first, and as you progress through the game’s chapters, you earn the respect of the other cliques; the preps, the greasers, the jocks and the other bullies”¦all down to stopping on vindictive little boy named Gary from turning each group against you.

bully2.jpg

There’s also your class schedule to worry about. Each day you have two classes between 9 am and 1pm, each with their own “lessons” to help your skills progress in the game. From Chemistry where proper button presses earn you the ability to make smoke bombs and fire cracker in your dorm’s chem set, to English class word jumbles helping you to better exert yourself socially with your classmates such as apologizing to the bigger bullies and taunts for the socially inept. Dodge ball games strengthen your aim with projectile weapons such as your slingshot, and shop class helps you move around town with bikes. After passing five lessons, you unlock the best abilities, and no longer need to attend that class (but can do back for “extra credit”). This frees up your day time for you “extra curricular” activities; namely following the game’s story missions.

This is probably where the game will most resemble the GTA mold. Bullworth Academy is in the heart of the New England township of Bullworth, which includes Bullworth Vale, New Coventry and the surrounding areas. Most of the later missions in the game will have you leaving campus more and more to complete you tasks, as different cliques call different areas home. Jimmy has the freedom to roam these street at any time”¦but if he’s supposed to be in class, or it’s after curfew he’ll get nabbed by the cops. What’s worse is, since Jimmy’s only 15 he tends to get tired when it’s too late at night. If you’re not in bed by the time the clock strikes 2am, you pass out on the spot.

Missions range from the simple “escort the nerd” type to various ranges of fisticuffs in order to prove your dominant roll as the hot shot with the right hook. There are times when you’re called upon to help your fellow students, and times where the faculty may need your special brand of “reasoning”. The thing with Jimmy is, he’s not really that bad of a kid. Most of the other students think he’s pretty dumb, just a guy who can hold his own in a fight, but he’s pretty shrewd at organization and manipulation, doing tasks for others to get what he really wants: respect from everyone.

BULLY truly is a real world school simulation. From the trials of getting in with the right cliques, to trying to get that special someone to notice you (kissing girls actually increases your health”¦nice touch) this is just how high school is. Sure, this may be a bit more FUN than most schools, but that’s really the point isn’t it? BULLY takes everything you loved (and hated) about school, infuses it with realistic character archetypes and solid storytelling, and makes off with one of the best interactive experiences out today. Totally a passing grade.

One Gamer’s Opinion:
kickass.jpg

LUMINES LAME!

Okay, just like every puzzle game nut out there, I loved LUMINES when it came to the PSP as a launch title, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the Xbox Live Arcade version”¦until I saw the price and learned the details of the download. It seems that LUMINES LIVE! on Xbox Live Arcade has a few downfalls. Firstly, the price is 1,200 Microsoft points (which works out to be $15 US). Sure, for a recent game that offers a great deal of puzzle action, this may not be such a bad thing. But what they don’t tell you when you pay this and download the game is that you still aren’t getting the whole shebang, despite paying the large amount. See, the 1,200 points just get you the “Base” mode for standard arcade gameplay. If you want to play more than the first few levels of Challenge mode, you’ll have to pay another 600 Microsoft points ($8). Want more skins and music? Another 600 points. Want to play more than the first 5 levels of the Time Trials or Puzzle modes? Guess what, you’ll have to pay more. Needless to say, this has severely cheesed off a few gamers (including my boss at my day job, who ranted for a good 45 minutes on the subject). To top it all off, the trial version of the game is virtually the same exact thing as the version you pay $15 for, save for the lack of multiplayer. Why then is the version you pay for called the “full” version if there are multiple downloads (with multiple dollar amounts) needed to get the entire gaming experience? That’s like spending $60 on Madden, and only being able to play two quarters of a game, only to have them say “to finish this game, give us ten more bucks”.

Sadly, it seems that’s the way these downloadable content issues are going too. While LUMINES LIVE! is the extreme, games like MADDEN and TIGER WOODS 07 are offering gamers the “opportunity” to buy extra content for their game that really should be offered for free, such as new jerseys for their teams. Wait a sec, 200 points for a single different colored shirt that doesn’t affect gameplay at all? I seriously hope no one is actually buying a new set of shoes for their baller in NBA LIVE 07. And for TIGER WOODS, they’re actually charging for content that CAN BE UNLOCKED BY THE GAMER FOR FREE. You want those extra courses and golfers, but don’t feel like taking the time to actually, oh, I don’t know, play the game and earn them? Well, why not spend 5 or 10 bucks and download them? I’ll tell you why: because it’s fucking ridiculous, that’s why. Content like that (such as the extra costumes for DEAD RISING) should be free, or perhaps be offered in a pack, like the SAINTS ROW clothing pack”¦69 pieces for 100 points isn’t a hardship at all. But no, there’s crap like a download for the GODFATHER game to give your character more money! That’s right, spending real money to use as game money”¦I think EA may be in bed with those gold farmers from WORLD OF WARCRAFT.

Bottom line, Marketplace downloads are starting to get to be less for the consumer and more for the consumerism. Hopefully not many of you were burned by these tactics. While LUMINES LIVE! admittedly is a good game, you’ll end up paying far more for the whole game itself than you originally intended. Hopefully you have a PSP, because it’s only $20 on that system”¦

One Gamer’s Opinion:
eh.jpg

CRAPTACULAR GAME OF THE WEEK

itc.jpgAs I’ve said many times before, I am not a car guy. If it gets me from point A to point B without breaking down, I’m a happy guy. Still, there are a smattering of race titles out there that I do enjoy, just so long as there isn’t TOO much of the gearhead mentality needed to go along with them. Sadly, this is not the case with IMPORT TUNER CHALLENGE, out for the Xbox 360. Another chapter in the TOKYO XTREME RACER series, this title pits you as a racer on the streets of Japan, tuning cars and winning races in the most basic and boring of ways. There is no free roaming city, and no real need to try to learn maps either since there really aren’t any. Most take place along the same circling highway, just on the outer or inner loops. Races are done much in the same way as STREET SUPREMACY on PSP: racers have a “Spirit Point” (or health) bar that depletes depending on how much of a lead the y have/lose or how much they run into shit, making some races quite short, and hence, boring. The tuning aspects are also fairly basic so that non-greasers like me can fiddle with parts enough to get good speed and handling, but don’t really offer much to recommend the title, let alone call it a “challenge”. The graphics are only ok, but definitely not worthy of the “next gen” console it’s on. Sadly, this is just a passable game that doesn’t really do anything special unless you must have every racing title on the market, or are REALLY into the TOKYO XTREME style of games.

itc2.jpg

One Gamer’s Opinion:
stinker.jpg

Sure, not as many titles as I wanted to get to this week, but BULLY sort of took all my time this time around. Next week, I’ll have that SPLINTER CELL review, as well as something I’m sure you’re all (well, the RPG fans are anyway) waiting for”¦ FINAL FANTASY XII. See you next time.

THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

gameonratingscomplete.jpg

Kick-Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (or Craptacular)

Comics in Context #152: “Ott Krittik” At Work

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 2:51 pm
comicsincontext4.jpg

According to a writer named Brian Braiker in Newsweek (Oct. 30, 2006), “There was nothing new in… exhibiting cartoons even back in 1974, when Mort Walker, the creator of cic2006-10-27.jpgBeetle Bailey, founded the Museum of Cartoon Art…. But to “˜establish a canon of… the most influential artists working in the medium’? That’s the mission of “˜Masters of American Comics,'” the landmark exhibition which I began reviewing last week.

Perhaps Braiker never visited the Museum of Cartoon Art (whose founder, Mort, not incidentally is the father of Brian Walker, co-curator of “Masters”) when it was still in Port Chester, but it had a “hall of fame” gallery which, in effect, was an attempt to establish a pantheon of the greatest artists in the cartoon art medium, including many of those honored by the “Masters” show.

One major difference is that the Museum of Cartoon Art (which is currently homeless), the Words and Pictures Museum (permanently closed) in Northampton, Massachusetts, San Francisco’s Cartoon Art Museum, and New York City’s Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (both institutions still alive and kicking) all operated outside the mainstream establishment of art museums and art scholarship.

According to one of the Masters, Art Spiegelman, the show originated in his reaction to what he considered the condescending attitude towards comics that was taken by the Museum of Modern Art in its notorious 1980s exhibition “High and Low.” In 1992 he invited curators from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum, the Library of Congress and other institutions to his studio to show them slides of the work of over twenty cartoonists and propose a museum exhibition that would treat comics seriously as an artform. Two years later, one of the attendees, Ann Philbin, on becoming head of the Hammer Museum in California, started work on what became the “Masters” show. The unspoken subtext of Spiegelman’s story is that obviously the representatives of the other museums were not sufficiently persuaded that comics were art. “I have all sorts of issues with the idea that a [Roy] Lichtenstein painting of a comic-book panel is art, but the original comic panel it draws on is not considered art,” Spiegelman said in the Nov. 28, 2005 issue of Time. (However, thanks to a recent donation of cartoon art, the Library of Congress is mounting its own show this fall.

So “Masters” is indeed groundbreaking. Spiegelman also said in that same issue of Time, “What comics are going through is like a civil rights movement,” says Spiegelman. “This museum show will help.” Braiker claims that “the idea of ivory-tower cred seems anathema to this most outré of outsider arts.” But comics are simply following the same path to cultural and scholarly respectability that other forms of popular culture have over the centuries. As critic Richard Corliss observed in his review of “Masters” for Time (Nov. 28, 2005), “Like Hitchcock thrillers and rock ‘n’ roll, comics are obeying the tidal pull of pop culture. What was once forbidden is now mainstream; what was once junk is now classic.”

But at the panel about the “Masters” show at this year’s San Diego Comic Con (see “Comics in Context” #145), the question was raised whether people might assume that the fifteen cartoonists saluted by the exhibition were the only ones who were worthy of being placed in this canon of great comics art. Brian Walker said, “I hope this group of fifteen isn’t set in stone.”

The “Masters” canon has already come under sharp criticism for excluding female cartoonists. That charge seems to me to derive more from political correctness than serious artistic considerations. What worries me is that I believe the selection of this canon of Masters implies a viewpoint on the evolution of the comics medium that unjustly eliminates the work of numerous comics professionals, male and female, from consideration, as I hope to show in future installments.

During its East Coast engagement, the first half of the “Masters” show is being held at the Newark Museum, and when I left off last week, I had begun a discussion of the work of the second Master in the show, Lyonel Feininger, creator of the early 20th century strips The Kin-der-Kids and Wee Willie Winkie’s World.

The introductory wall text for the Feininger section of the show states that “The flat color schemes and open spaces of his pages were inspired by his fascination with Japanese prints. . . .” Perhaps this is so, since many Western artists have been inspired by Japanese prints since Japan began trading with the West in the mid-19th century. But aren’t the “flat color schemes” also a necessity imposed by the four-color printing methods used by newspapers and formerly by comic books? As for the “open spaces,” they are present in certain panels of the Feininger comics on display, such as the broad triangular forms representing rooftops in a Kin-der-Kids from September 9, 1906 (page 188 in the Masters of American Comics book). But in other cases Feininger’s panels look crowded, or even a whole page, like “The Triumphant Departure of the Kids in the Family Bathtub” (The Kin-der-Kids, May 6, 1906, Masters p. 36). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, either: that page bursts with energy, as the Kids’ bathtub, a fleet of tugboats and an ocean liner all set sail, as an animate Statue of Liberty waves goodbye.

The Feininger page in the show that has the most “open space” is part of the
the online “slide show” accompanying New York Times art critic Michael Kimmelman’s review of “Masters”. On this April 29, 1906 Kin-der-Kids page (p. 186 in the catalogue) Feininger’s self-caricature stands on a slate-grey floor against a white void. He portrayed himself as a puppeteer, with the cast members of Kin-der-Kids dangling from strings. Here is another example of a theatrical metaphor in early comics, with the comic strip likened to a puppet show, controlled by an unseen figure behind the stage, and the further implication that the cartoonist is a performer, who acts through his “puppets,” the characters in the strip. Each of the puppets bears a tag identifying him, and so does the puppeteer himself, whose tag reads, “Your Uncle Feininger.” This might even imply that Feininger’s self-caricature is yet another puppet, a public image as a fatherly storyteller, created by the unseen artist.

I prefer the rambunctiousness of the Kin-der-Kids pages to the fairy tale milieu of Wee Willie Winkie’s World. As “Masters” co-curator John Carlin points out in the show’s catalogue, everything in Wee Willie Winkie’s World is alive and anthropomorphized. In a September 23, 2006 page (p. 38) enormous storm clouds with faces loom over a house, whose windows become terrified eyes. Here I am reminded of the “Pastoral Symphony” sequence in Walt Disney’s Fantasia (1940), which also has clouds with faces that blow gale-force winds, and in which Night is a goddess spreading her vast cloak across the sky. For my taste, though, Feininger’s stylized fantasy world in Wee Willie Winkie runs a poor second to Winsor McCay’s dream worlds in Little Nemo, which he presents in such persuasively detailed, concrete reality. I agree with Kimmelman in finding Feininger’s comics “a little lusterless sandwiched between Nemo and George Herriman’s great Krazy Kat.”

As usual, Carlin’s interest is in the cartoonist’s visual design for a page, emphasizing lines and shapes that can be regarded both as representational and as abstract elements. In the Sunday, September 16, 1906 Kin-der-Kids (p. 39), he contends that the waterspouts in the panels on the left side of the page form a “serpentine” line running from the bottom to the top of the page. I am more impressed with the waterspouts in the panels on the right side of the page, which seem to me to form a single funnel growing in size from the top of the page until it nearly fills the final panel.

In the Masters book Carlin asserts that “the run of Willie Winkie can be read as a prototypical graphic novel” (p. 40). Is it stretching the definition of “graphic novel” too far to refer to a series of Sunday comics pages this way? Later in the book, in his essay on Milton Caniff, journalist Pete Hamill reveals that “Caniff told me that he thought of the strip [Terry and the Pirates]–and his later creation, Steve Canyon–as a kind of picaresque novel, a form as old as Don Quixote“ (p. 232). Is a graphic novel necessarily a work of comics that is created specifically to be published in book form? It seems fair to me to consider Watchmen and V for Vendetta to be graphic novels, even though they were originally published in serialized “pamphlet” format. Moreover, following their original publication, new readers have experienced them as books, not as monthly comic magazines. So could Caniff’s Terry be considered a graphic novel, or each months-long story arc as an individual graphic novel?

Carlin justly praises the design of the show’s Krazy Kat Sunday page from Sept. 12, 1937 (p. 51). In the top left corner is a small panel featuring Ignatz Mouse, on his eternal quest to hurl bricks at Krazy Kat, determined that he will not be thwarted again by his nemesis Offissa Pupp: “He’ll not foil me, that Kop.” In the top right corner is a panel of the same size, with Offissa Pupp vowing “He’ll not fool me, that mouse.” But Ignatz, hiding in the base of a cactus plant in that same panel, already has. The rest of the page consists of a gigantic panel, stretching from the top middle to the bottom, and, as Carlin notes, dominated by the vertical column of the cactus, shown at its full height. It looks like an obelisk, or Washington’s Monument, in contrast with the flat ground below. Ignatz is triumphantly at the top, dropping the brick, as if he were Galileo experimenting with gravity, as the oblivious Krazy, who considers these bricks as love tokens, leans nonchalantly against the bottom of the tree, saying, “He’ll not fail me, that dollink.” In the catalogue (Kat-alogue?) Carlin states that the play of words with “foil,” “fool,” and “fail” is a pun; I see the parallelism in the three characters’ lines of dialogue as a kind of poetry.

And there along the bottom of the page is a row of footlights, as if this were taking place onstage. Carlin compares it to a “theatrical presentation.” I’d go farther: it’s as if Krazy, Ignatz, and Pupp were a team of comedians performing their vaudeville act for the audience: their inexhaustible variations on the gag in which Krazy gets clobbered. Standing center stage, with his/her (Krazy’s gender is uncertain) name at the top, Krazy is the star of the show. The towering cactus and the simple setting are like a stage set, with the night sky like a black backdrop.

Krazy, Ignatz and Pupp are therefore presented as actors playing roles in the comic strip. The same conceit underlies Friz Freleng’s 1940 animated short You Oughta Be in Pictures, in which Daffy Duck manipulates Porky Pig into confronting Looney Tunes producer Leon Schlesinger (shown in live action) and quitting, or, in more recent decades, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) and Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003), which purport that animated characters are actors working at Hollywood studios. The same basic idea recurred in comics when Li’l Abner would visit Al Capp, or Pogo characters would refer to their creator Walt Kelly, or the She-Hulk would complain to her unseen writer/artist John Byrne.

Hence, a further implication of this Krazy Kat Sunday is that the unseen Herriman is the writer/director, putting on a show for the audience reading their newspapers at home in the 1930s–or perusing a museum exhibit in 2006.

In reading comics, we ordinarily suspend our disbelief and pretend that static lines on paper are actually living, moving characters; hence, the panels become windows into their world. Herriman’s footlights subvert this convention: we’re no longer looking at characters in a real world but at actors on a stage. Herriman has reminded us that Krazy Kat is an artificial construction, and, of course, if we take a step further, we remind ourselves that Krazy Kat is really a drawing in a newspaper.

To continue the theatrical analogy, Carlin’s approach in the Masters book is Brechtian: he stands back from the story the comics tell, and even from their attempts to visually represent reality, and insists on regarding them as if they were abstract works comprised of line, shapes and (often) colors.

Kimmelman asserts that Krazy Kat’s desert setting anticipates the work of Samuel Beckett, presumably meaning the play Waiting for Godot. As Godot demonstrates, Beckett also loved slapstick humor and vaudeville-style comedy routines, and I suppose that Ignatz’s brick throwing is the way by which he, Krazy and Pupp pass the time in the strip’s desolate landscape. But there’s no sense of comedy staving off despair and emptiness in Krazy Kat as there is in Godot.

In his essay on Herriman in the catalogue, cultural critic Stanley Crouch points out that Krazy Kat‘s desert milieu was inspired by Monument Valley, the site where John Ford shot so many of his Westerns, and asserts that the desert is “especially American” because it is “the harsh landscape” for “brutal conflicts,” presumably meaning the wars with Indians (p. 197). That may be true for Ford, but I can’t swallow the idea that Krazy Kat alludes to violence worse than being hit by a brick which is as harmless in this strip as a custard pie. Monument Valley might also be the inspiration for the terrain in Chuck Jones’s Roadrunner cartoons. Maybe Jones and Herriman (whose Krazy Kat cast also includes a coyote) simply regarded the desert as the simplest of naturalistic settings. Despite the way that Herriman’s backgrounds shapeshift from panel to panel, their simplicity does not distract from the performances of his lead characters. Hence Herriman is practicing a sort of graphic minimalism, making him a forebear of Charles Schulz’s Peanuts.

What most interests me about the Krazy Kat strips in the “Masters” show is the “metacomics” theme that runs throughout the exhibition. In the Sunday page for June 11, 1939 (p. 48), Ignatz finds a brush and a bottle of ink, and sets about drawing a cartoon of himself. As Carlin notes, Ignatz is repeatedly depicted in Krazy Kat as an artist. So Herriman may be signaling his identification with this trickster character: he draws himself, or an aspect of himself, into the strip as Ignatz, just as Ignatz draws himself. Ignatz starts out by drawing a cartoon panel, but it seems that he is also drawing a canvas in thin air, thereby creating it. Moreover, as I said before, a comics panel is like a window into another world. So Ignatz, as artist, creates another reality, just as Herriman is the creator of the world of Krazy Kat. The characters and things that Ignatz draws onto this canvas appear in red ink, whereas the “real” world of Krazy Kat appears in conventional black outlines. This contrast further suggests that the world of Ignatz’s drawings is a distinctly separate level of reality.

Offissa Pupp stops by and acts as audience (and, in his role as law enforcer, potential censor?) for Ignatz’s art. The “cartoon” Ignatz that “real” Ignatz draws changes position from one of Herriman’s panels to the next. (It’s getting complicated here.) Is “real” Ignatz drawing a comic strip, and each new panel replaces the previous one? Or is Herriman suggesting that “real” Ignatz is creating an animated cartoon, whose characters move once they are drawn, as in Max and Dave Fleischer’s Out of the Inkwell series, to which “real” Ignatz’s ink bottle could be an allusion? Or are the Ignatz and Krazy that “real” Ignatz draws existing in an alternate reality?

“Real” Ignatz completes his cartoon, which shows “cartoon” Ignatz throwing a brick at Krazy. This seems to be “real” Ignatz’s foremost goal and pleasure in life, so perhaps Herriman is suggesting that artists draw what they desire, what makes them happy. As if feeling satisfied and fulfilled, “real” Ignatz starts walking away, while Offissa Pupp remains rooted to the spot, staring at the cartoon-within-a-cartoon.

In the next panel, as if he were Matisse responding to seeing a Picasso, Offissa Pupp reacts to Ignatz’s cartoon by drawing his own, titled “JAIL,” portraying Ignatz behind bars. This, of course, represents Pupp’s own foremost goal in life. But he is oblivious to what is happening behind him: “real” Ignatz is throwing a brick at Krazy, just as his counterpart did in the cartoon-within-a-cartoon. Thus life, in the Krazy Kat universe, mimics art.

So “real” Ignatz’s cartoon was actually a declaration of his intentions, which he then accomplished in “real” life. You could also read “real” Ignatz’s cartoon as a prophesy of the future, which comes to pass in the next panel. Likewise, Offissa Pupp is drawing what he intends to accomplish. This too is a look into the future, because what Krazy Kat reader doubts that “real” Ignatz will soon end up back in jail for this latest brick-throwing incident?

But you could also read this particularly Sunday strip as trickster Ignatz pulling a new con on Offissa Pupp. It’s like that standard Bugs Bunny gag in which Bugs tricks an adversary into mechanically repeating the same action over and over. Offissa Pupp becomes so fixated on “real” Ignatz’s drawing of himself clobbering Krazy that the hapless policeman preoccupies himself with punishing “cartoon” Ignatz by drawing “cartoon” Ignatz in jail. Having thus distracted Offissa Pupp, “real” Ignatz is free to clobber the “real” Krazy.

The con artist is a particularly American form of the trickster archetype, which reappears in the “Masters” show as E. C. Segar’s J. Wellington Wimpy, and also as Charles Schulz’s Lucy. In his essay in the catalogue, Mutts creator Patrick McDonnell points to Krazy Kat’s influence on Schulz (p. 243). Isn’t Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown year after year Schulz’s possibly intentional version of Herriman’s endless variations on Ignatz’s brick tossing?

Along the bottom of this Sunday Krazy page runs a narrow panel that serves as an afterword to the main story. Krazy, Pupp, and Ignatz all watch a bird who is staring at a painting of a tree, as a big drop of saliva drops from his beak. “But he’s an “˜ott krittik,’ ain’t he?” asks Krazy. “Yes,” replies Pupp, “but he’s also a woodpecker.” Granted this epiphany, Ignatz responds, “ah-h.” Herriman may be making the point that an art critic’s personal psychology influences his response to a work of art. Or maybe this can even be seen as a reproach (over sixty years in advance) to Carlin’s approach to comics as “abstract” works: Herriman may be reminding readers not to ignore the representationalist aspect of the work.,

Next in the “Masters” show comes E. C. Segar, creator of Thimble Theatre Starring Popeye, whose very title continues the analogy between comics and theater.

Carlin’s discussion of Segar in the Masters book has its problems. Take for example his description of what he calls a “brilliant sight gag” in the genuinely great “Plunder Island” story arc in Thimble Theater‘s Sunday pages in 1934. In one installment Popeye hides in a barrel because his enemy, the Sea Hag, has ordered Wimpy to behead him. “Several weeks later,” in another Sunday page (July 1, 1934), Popeye plays dice with the Sea Hag to determine ownership of the treasure of Plunder Island; the Hag desperately wagers everything she has, even her clothes, and ends up wearing “the same-style wooden barrel that Popeye hid in weeks earlier” (p. 58). Well, Segar may have intended the irony, but I doubt that he expected it to get laughs from readers. A comedian doesn’t deliver a punch line several weeks after the set-up, which by then the audience has forgotten.

Likewise, Carlin claims that “Segar’s humor came straight out of Mark Twain, who also balanced exaggerated tall tales and a perfect ear for everyday speech with dark themes that undercut his laugh-out-loud stories” (p. 55). There are similarities, but I doubt there was a “straight out” connection. Twain’s “tall tales” went so far as to include time travel in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, but in that novel he characteristically brings a subversively ironic treatment to the romance of Arthurian legend. Amidst all the comedy of Thimble Theatre, Segar created a genuine American hero of larger-than-life proportions in Popeye, a successor to the likes of Pecos Bill. I suspect that Segar used Popeye as a seafaring traveler to create a satirical version of the adventure stories of the 19th and early 20th centuries, complete with fantasy elements: hence not only searches for hidden treasure and Popeye’s famed quest to find his long-lost Pappy, but also mythical kingdoms (Spinachovia), magical animals (Eugene the Jeep), strange savages (the Goons), and even an evil witch (the Sea Hag).

More importantly, Segar deals in exaggeration in creating the personalities of his most significant characters, whereas Twain aimed for realism. One can imagine Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn being real people in a real world, but Popeye, Wimpy and company are inescapably cartoons, not only in their caricatured physiques but in their characterizations. Robert Altman and Jules Feiffer’s live action Popeye movie (1980) did not work, and perhaps there was no way that it could.

Carlin correctly agrees with comics historian Bill Blackbeard’s recognition that Popeye is a proto-superhero. (In a Sunday October 11, 1936 strip in the show, and on page 54 in the book, Popeye lifts up an entire house, without the aid of spinach.) But then Carlin goes on, “At the same time Popeye is a much more complex and sympathetic character than the later superheroes, who tend to be somewhat stiff and colorless” (p. 58). How much “later”? Once Stan Lee and his colleagues revolutionized the superhero genre in the 1960s, this was unquestionably no longer true.

Feiffer’s own appreciation of Segar and Popeye in the Masters book is far more successful. Feiffer makes the case that Popeye is the heroic representation of the American spirit that remained “undaunted” by the Great Depression of the 1930s: “Popeye was the forgotten man: uneducated, unsophisticated, untamable” (p. 208). More surprisingly, whereas I always thought that Popeye’s distinctive way of talking reflected his lower class background and lack of formal education, Feiffer regards it as a sign of something else: “His mangled English pulsated with the vital spirit of immigrant America. . .” (p. 208). Best of all, Feiffer identifies Popeye’s true peers: Segar’s “Popeye stands with the best of his thirties competitors, who happened not to be comic strip characters but movie clowns: W. C. Fields and the Marx Brothers” (p. 208). They portrayed larger than life characters, too.

My main disagreement with Feiffer’s essay is with his blanket condemnation of Popeye’s entire history in animation, though Feiffer rightly praises the performances of voice actors Jack Mercer and Mae Questel as Popeye and Olive Oyl. Feiffer is also right about the uninspired Popeye cartoons produced by Paramount’s Famous Studios in the 1940s and 1950s, which smoothed over the rough edges that make Popeye’s personality interesting, devolving him into a postwar suburban bourgeois.

But I think Feiffer is unfair about the Max and Dave Fleischer Popeye cartoons of the 1930s, which keep the title character irascible and irreverent (especially through Mercer’s seemingly improvised asides). Feiffer disdains the formula that the Fleischers devised for Popeye: the Popeye-Olive-Bluto triangle, and the seemingly magical ability of spinach to boost the hero’s strength in time of need. But within the seven or eight minutes allotted to one of these animated cartoons, the Fleischers understandably couldn’t undertake one of Segar’s elaborate narratives (although they tried with the search for Pappy in the 1938 short Goonland).

I think it’s also worth exploring why the Fleischers’ formula proved so successful. If Popeye is indeed a hero born of the Great Depression, as Feiffer argues, then the key moment in the Fleischer cartoons, when Popeye declares “That’s all I kin stand, I can’t stands no more” (a forebear of Bugs Bunny’s “Of course you know this means war” and even Droopy’s “You know what? You got me mad.”), downs the spinach, and lets loose, dramatizes the urge of the forgotten man to fight back against everything that holds him down. Feiffer dismisses the cartoons’ spinach as “steroids”; I see it more as an objective correlative for Popeye’s will power, stimulating the burst of adrenaline he needs to win.

The best Fleischer Popeye cartoons don’t necessarily adhere to formula; take the cases of Goonland and The Jeep (1938), in which Bluto never appears. And even the better Fleischer cartoons that use the triangle can ring imaginative variations on the theme, just as Krazy Kat did with its own formula. For example, the Fleischers’ celebrated A Dream Walking (1934) is less about Popeye competing with Bluto for Olive than about the three of them rhythmically sleepwalking along a vertiginous network of girders in a skyscraper under construction, in a triumph of visual design John Carlin would appreciate.

This gives me the opportunity to mention two of the last cartoons I still haven’t written about that I saw at the Film Society of Lincoln Center’s 2005 retrospective of musical cartoons, “I Love to Singa” (see “Comics in Context” #100, #136 and many others in between). In the two color featurettes Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor (1936) and Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Baba’s Forty Thieves (1937) shown there, the Fleischers rework their formula by recasting Bluto as characters out of the Arabian Nights. Popeye becomes not only an explorer but an American venturing abroad to combat foreign enemies. Following the 9/11 attacks, the sight of Popeye taking on Arabian adversaries takes on new resonance. Significantly, Popeye’s final, triumphant battles against his foreign opponents are accompanied on the soundtracks by John Philip Sousa’s “Stars and Stripes Forever.” In these featurettes the Fleischers seem to be consciously portraying Popeye as a modern American mythic hero, who can stand up to and overcome morally corrupt mythic figures of older cultures. Sindbad even turns Popeye into a monster slayer, placing him in a tradition that goes back to Gilgamesh.

In the Masters book Carlin states that “Segar did not invent graphic comic strip conventions or experiment with them the way that Herriman and McCay did. Segar simply showed how rich and supple those conventions could be in terms of creating believable characters and stories. . .” (p. 56). In other words, in this case Carlin shifts from his usual emphasis on visual design to what I consider the true essence of the comics medium: visual storytelling.

Even so, I suspect that Carlin underrates Segar as visual innovator. Where would Robert Crumb be without Segar, whose drawing style clearly influenced his? In “Masters” I was pleased to see examples of Segar’s “topper” strip for the Sunday Thimble Theatres, Sappo, which began as a rather dull domestic comedy, but flared into life with the addition of science fiction elements courtesy of the aptly named Professor O. G. Wottasnozzle. Apart from his sizable snozzle, the Professor, bald with a long beard, could be a relative of Crumb’s Mr. Natural. The henpecked Sappo’s wife, who towers over him, could be a forerunner of Crumb’s own unusually large women. Segar’s standard face for extras in Thimble Theatre could be the visage of Crumb’s Flakey Foont.

Going through the Segar section of the exhibit, I was struck by the sheer dynamic force power of the shots of Popeye punching his opponents. These panels reminded me of the work of Jack Kirby, who was once an in-betweener at the Fleischer studios. In the Masters book you can find shots like this on pages 59, 204 and 205, but what most impressed me was a series of Sunday Thimble Theatre strips that are at the Newark Museum but not in the catalogue. Running from April 26 through May 24, 1931, they depict Popeye in a boxing match, full of such Kirbyesque power. The sequence also demonstrates Segar’s visual inventiveness. At one point Popeye is hit so hard he sails into the air, and we follow his flight through a series of panels, as if they were successive framers on a film strip, until he lands atop a spectator in the audience. In another panel Segar deploys multiple images of Popeye to indicate the speed and ferocity of his punches. Segar also portrays the audience as a sea of identical round heads, creating a near-abstract effect.

Some Popeye strips on display also echo earlier parts of the exhibit. An enormous drawing of Eugene the Jeep hovers atop the panel grid of the Sunday, August 9, 1936 Thimble Theatre page (p. 209) like the moon with the man’s face in the December 3, 1905 Little Nemo (p. 176). There’s also a Sunday Thimble Theatre from August 23, 1935 (p. 205), which I’ve discussed previously (in “Comics in Context” #63), in which, to test Popeye’s love for her, Olive masquerades as a man (not difficult, considering her build) and claims to be her own suitor. Enraged, Popeye clobbers her. Dazed but happy, Olive tells herself, “He loves me,” as if she were Krazy Kat right after being hit by a brick.

Like so many cartoon characters, Segar’s are far more resistant to physical injury than real people are. For example, Popeye withstands a hail of bullets in an April 7, 1932 daily strip (p. 206). Even so, the comedic sadism in this particular Sunday strip is startling. In a daily strip from August 21, 1935 on display (but not in the book), Popeye has become “dictipator” of a small country but is disappointed that “Me sheeps”–his subjects–“ain’t got no sense.” As you can see, unlike the animated Popeye, Segar’s Popeye, as Feiffer notes, is “untamable”: though a hero, he has a violent temper and even a will to power.

At the Newark Museum I overheard one woman, who was looking at the Herrimans, comment to her companion, “Is this really for kids? Look at the vocabulary?” There are plenty of people who haven’t yet gotten the memo that comics aren’t just for kids. As Spiegelman told Time, maybe this museum show will help. We will continue making our way through “Masters” in next week’s column.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF
It’s here at last! DK Publishing has released its Marvel Encyclopedia, for which I was a contributing writer. Profusely illustrated in full color, it’s the perfect Christmas gift for any Marvel aficionado. Not only will you enjoy reading it, but it is so large and massive that you could use it for weightlifting exercises! A treat for both the mind and the body!

Copyright 2006 Peter Sanderson

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #19: All Hallow’s Grimace

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:39 pm

snydecast-header.png

snydecast-logo2.png

Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

linesm.gif

KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #19: All Hallow’s Grimace – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with Halloween preparations, McDonald’s cuisine, and that same ol’ loveable banter.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #19 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-19.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

line.gif

CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

line.gif

##

Melonpool Quickcast #19: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Mayberry Melonpool!

Filed under: Melonpool Quickcast — admin @ 10:01 am
melonpool2.gif

-By Steve Troop

Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

melonpool_show_19_1002706.jpg

Mayberry and Roberta await a visit from The Great Pumpkin.

Don’t forget to comment on this and other Melonpool Quickcasts over at the official Melonpool Quickcast Forum!

Mayberry Avatar Ralph Avatar Sam Avatar Sammy Avatar Roberta Avatar

Melonpool Quickcast #19: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Mayberry Melonpool!:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 22.1 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 9.91 MB)

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/27/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:15 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • A rare color tour of the Fleischer animation studio. (Thingamabob)
  • When is a Full Metal Jacket only half full? (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

Trailer Park: How I Spent My Summer Vacation – My First (Paying) Writing Job

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:10 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

The story really wasn’t worth telling at the time.

It was spring of this year and I wanted to be able and cover the Phoenix Film Festival for what was then Movie Poop Shoot. It was a festival that was peppered with some solid films, LA MUJER DE MI HERMANO and HARD CANDY, and some that will go without mention and have since been shown for the turkeys they are. It was an exciting time for me, personally, because, as some of you know, I am a bit of a misanthrope. I don’t “get it” when it comes to needless schmoozing with those who would otherwise not even make it on my cell phone list of people I’d like to spend more time with if given the chance. I have an actual day job that is so remote from what I live to do, writing, that it would be damn near embarassing to confess what brings in the real money. It follows, then, that I don’t have the oppulent lifestyle that is so romanticized in movies where writers are always dressed like hip, yet sloven, nomads who are in a constant need of a shave and are usually brooding about their work.

I don’t brood.

I like what I am able to do and if that means being happiest when I can focus on my own work and not worry about getting the greatest exclusives all the time then so be it. Josh Holloway, Robert Patrick and even the latest Andy Dick pieces mean a lot to me because I was the one who accepted the opportunity and, here’s the kicker, there is nothing in my mind about how many issues the piece will sell. There’s no money involved yet, when I think about it hard enough, I know that there are brick and mortar office jockeys, of which I am one, that will never be able to ensconse themselves in their passion and I realize I’m lucky. I’m one of the few but, the other edge to that Ginsu knife is that…I don’t get paid.

Fast forward to last spring during the Phoenix Film Festival when I catch wind that Moving Pictures Magazine, a publication that’s closer to a Film Comment than it is a Premiere, not only has a presence here in Scottsdale, my city, but that they’re having a party to celebrate their involvement at the PFF.

I needed to be at that party.

I don’t know why I felt a surge, an urge, a desire to make a play at trying to make this game of rochambeau come out in my favor for once. There was a lot of drivel being spilled within the pages of modern film magazines and I knew that over two years of slugging it out within the confines of Internet journalism, where I learned interviewing by doing, where I learned how to exact information without attributing, where I hit every single deadline without exception and where I made sure every single letter, note, comment, complaint, inquiry and even churned out some good pieces every now and then. I wanted to be paid for something. I wanted to prove that I could run with those who did this for a living and even do it better. I had to convince someone and when, like manna from heaven, I not only was given the date and place of the party by a representative of the magazine who was at opening night but they gave me the name of the person in charge who could help me break through to the other side.

I can’t go through all the reasons why I didn’t make it to that party until roughly 10 minutes before the party was set to break up or how I managed to finally find that same represntative from Moving Pictures magazine after wandering around the restaurant looking for someone, anyone to talk to but I did. I found the rep and without so much as thinking twice I asked about who I needed to talk to for freelance work. This woman, this kind, kind woman literally planted me in front of the end-all, be-all for this magazine’s opportunites and I made my pitch. Fast.

I don’t remember much anything about it but I do recall being very open, honest, smiling a lot, eager, I may have begged a bit but I’m not too sure, confident, name dropped like I was a waiter delivering ball bearings while standing on a paint shaker, and it ended with me, I think, sending her a note to express once more my interest. While I know she told me about the limited range of writing about trailers, the magazine is a lot more than just a glib mo-fo like myself talking about flicks through their marketing and I understood that, I know that my work on Poop Shoot and now Quick Stop is akin to having a dude on a paper writing obitiuaries until his opportunity comes; except, with me, my obituaries sometimes help to make a movie seem more alive or assist with putting the nails on the pine box in which the flick should take a permanent dirt nap.

And that was it for a little while. A long while.

I was checking my e-mail after finally coming down off a rather obnoxious afternoon at the San Diego Comic-Con in July when I noticed my contact’s name. The e-mail, very matter-of-factly, stated that if I was interested Moving Pictures wanted me to write a small blurb about the CASINO ROYALE trailer.

After a lot of back and forth with paperwork, suggestions, some uncertainty on my part and the nagging feeling that I would be smited by some diety should I publicly announce that I have 75 words appearing in print I decided to sit on the information. It wasn’t until I stood in front of a magazine kiosk at the Borders across the street from where I work when it really came home that I had finally done it. I bought all five copies there and when I took them out in that plastic bag there was an internal satisfaction that I don’t think could be expressed in words; those who can understand what it means to be someone devoted to the printed word, would.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone out there, every reader who has helped to make a small comment here, a small high-five there, in making this possible. I wrote it, sure, but it wouldn’t have happened unless a guy like Chris Ryall saw something in me and let me run with whatever was in my head week after week. Certainly I also have to give thanks to my wife, Sherry who, while she has always been cool with me doing this column every damn week, is really the reason why I am able to take time out of my life every week to just give you people something to read. For her, I am eternitally grateful.

So, please, if it’s not too much to ask, go and get the magazine. Read the glory that is 75 words on page 17. Send the editor a message and tell them what you really think of this weasel’s ability to inspire so many rip-offs in other, lesser, publications like Entertainment Weekly. Or, if you’re just lazy, just check it out when you’re out and about inside a Barnes and Noble, Borders or even Blockbuster; it would be very meta for me to know someone from across the country was able to read my name in print. I’m even in the Contributing Writers section which just thrills me to no end even though most would just shrug and say, “whatever.”

And just to show you how the enduring positivity keeps on going, I decided to give you all out there the chance to enter into a contest where you could make a real dream come true for yourself….Peep the press release from Sony:

“INTERNSHIP CONTEST”

Eight Winners To Be Offered Once-In-A-Lifetime Career Opportunity With Gap Inc., The Hollywood Reporter, Morgan Stanley, NBC, the National Football League (NFL), PEOPLE Magazine, Playstation & Yahoo
Contest Winners to Attend Hollywood Premiere of Will Smith’s The Pursuit of Happyness

 

CULVER CITY, CA ““ October 19, 2006 ““ Columbia Pictures announced today it is partnering with eight of the world’s leading companies to offer The Pursuit of Happyness ‘Pursue It’ The Ultimate Internship Contest, in which contestants will compete for dream internships at Gap Inc., The Hollywood Reporter, Morgan Stanley, NBC, the National Football League (NFL), PEOPLE Magazine, PlayStation and Yahoo! In addition to the internship position, each winner also will win a trip to the Hollywood premiere of Columbia Pictures’ inspiring drama The Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith, Thandie Newton and Jaden Christopher Syre Smith. Winners will have the opportunity to meet Smith and enjoy the gala evening with the film’s cast.Based on a true story, The Pursuit of Happyness stars Will Smith as Chris Gardner, a marginally employed salesman who finds himself with nowhere to go after he and his five-year-old son (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith) are evicted from their San Francisco apartment. When Gardner lands an internship at a prestigious brokerage firm, he and his son endure numerous hardships as he struggles to create a better life for the two of them. The Pursuit of Happyness is the story of one father’s inspiring love for his son and his determination and drive to improve their future. “Chris Gardner, the person I portray in The Pursuit of Happyness is a bright, talented guy who’s barely making ends meet until he gets an internship that enables him to pursue his dreams,” said star and producer Will Smith.

Steve Tisch, one of the film’s producers and a co-owner of the NFL’s New York Giants football team added: “America is the land of opportunity, but to succeed in the corporate world everyone needs that first break, that foot in the door. The winners of this contest will get a unique chance both to learn about how great companies work and to demonstrate their own creativity, energy and determination.”

From October 18, 2006 through October 30, 2006 contestants can visit the contest Web site www.sony.com/Pursue-It and choose the company at which they would like to intern. As part of the online application process, entrants will need to create a video of themselves, in which they share, in five minutes or less, their own personal motto or “words to live by” giving examples of how this philosophy makes them uniquely qualified to work at the company they have chosen.

The leading candidates’ videos for each internship as determined by a leading human resource specialist will be posted on the contest website. The public will then be invited to vote for the applicant they believe is best suited for each position. Officials at each of the eight companies will interview the top two finalists applying for their respective internships and select the ultimate winners.

Contestants are encouraged to learn as much as possible about the company for whose program they are applying and to tailor their video presentation accordingly. Each of the internship programs has its own eligibility requirements which are posted, along with complete contest rules, at [www.sony.com/Pursue-It]

THE BRIDGE (2006)

Director: Eric Steel
Cast:
Kevin Hines, Pat Hines, Carolyn Pressley, Dave Williams, Matt Rossi
Release: October 27, 2006
Synopsis:
MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING SUBJECT MATTER. More people choose to end their lives at the Golden Gate Bridge than anywhere else in the world. THE BRIDGE offers glimpses into the darkest, and possibly most impenetrable corners of the human mind. The fates of the 24 people who died at the Golden Gate Bridge in 2004 are linked together by a 4 second fall.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. “MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING SUBJECT MATTER.”

I mean, really, how do you not click on the link after you see a disclaimer like this. It’s like seeing blinking lights that say “Danger!” “Warning!” in the middle of a black night that leads you right to the porno parlor you never knew existed until someone went out of their way to point it out to you.

I also heard about this movie based on the real intriguing fact that of those who have tried to jump to their deaths via the Golden Gate Bridge, and lived to tell about it, they all knew they wanted to end their miserable little existences going up to the bridge’s precipice, they all were sick of dealing with their own psychoses when they pushed off, they all wanted to die as they let go and they all knew they made a big, fucking mistake as soon as there was nothing to grab onto.

How do you not make a documentary about that?

The answer is “you do” and I couldn’t be more enraptured by the beginning of the trailer when you know, going in, that you’re a) going to be presented with “disturbing subject matter” and b) we are slowly let into what this movie is about.

The opening of the trailer is creepy. No question. You have a pretty simple sound bed but there is tension in that score. You can sense it.

Some kids are playing soccer, oblivious, right in view of this structure that has sent out the siren’s song to many who are afflicted by mental illness.

“People come here from all over the world.”

The simple piano suite, the shots from various places all over San Francisco with the Golden Gate somewhere in the shot and the absence of any hard narrative structure is killing me. It’s perhaps one of the best ways you can make a trailer say nothing, not incite my ire, and make me feel that I cannot look away from this thing.

Next, we get a woman’s voiceover. She tells us what kind of day it was without us really knowing why she’s recounting a singular moment when all seems to have been right with the world. That’s when we see video of someone starting to step over the railing and put their foot at the literal edge of the only thing standing between life and splat.

After that, another voiceover. This one comes from a guy who was doing some shooting of video when he sees, and we see, a dude hoisting himself over the railing.

You cannot look away. There is no way you can direct your eye off the screen.

“Is this a rare occurrence or does this happen often?”

What’s so compelling that after we hear that the Golden Gate is not only the San Francisco treat but it is the meal of choice for many, many people who think suicide is their only way out.

With that we see a wide shot of the bridge, completely still, the soft words of someone who has asked the question about the frequency of jumpers as we catch the “sploosh” of someone who let go of it all.

There’s something to subjects like this but the trailer not only sells the idea but it draws you in with enough scintillation to establish why this is a story worth telling and seeing.

HARSH TIMES (2005)

Director: David Ayer
Cast: Christian Bale, Freddy Rodriguez, Eva Longoria
Release: November 10, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: From the creator of TRAINING DAY comes HARSH TIMES, a gritty look at friendship, loyalty and ambition set on the extremely rough streets of south central Los Angeles. Jim Davis (Christian Bale) is an ex-Army Ranger recently discharged from the military, yet still haunted by nightmares of his former occupation. While seeking a position with the LAPD that will allow him to marry his Mexican girlfriend and bring her to the United States, Jim kills time chilling with his best friend, Mike (Freddy Rodriguez).

Mike is feeling the heat from his longtime girlfriend, Sylvia (Eva Longoria): either get a job or get out. But the love of a beautiful woman can’t compare to the bonds of friendship, and Jim and Mike are soon cruising the streets of South Central, slipping back into a deceitful life of drugs, violence and petty crime, just like when they were kids.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. The problem here is that I feel like we’ve been here before.

I don’t want to seem like someone’s not entitled to retread the same theme but this film’s not breaking any new territory, at least it’s not being sold that way, as it’s trying to dip its fingers into my pocket.

One of the things that first piqued my interest in this film is Christian Bale, a man who has really heralded his presence in a major way in the last few years, but you almost feel let down here when Freddy Rodriguez and he are talking inside a car about what it’s like to “straight up” kill someone. The physicality of the shot, the frenetic vibe you feel as Bale gets into a bombastic moment that feels packaged, not honest, is a Cut and Paste from TRAINING DAY and I’m not so sure if that’s such a good thing. Rodriguez’ question to Bale about whether he enjoyed the killing just doesn’t seem like a hook that sells. It’s damn near comedic.

I’ll give praise for the choice of music that rides the bed of what’s presented, as we’re flooded with images of scantily clothed chicas and the voice that this is coming to us via the creator of TRAINING DAY, but that’s as far as I’m going because what’s really at issue here isn’t the shot of a lady’s swaggering ass that’s needlessly given up for no reason, but it’s the story that’s not being put out.

What the hell is the point?

We’re nearly a quarter of the way through this trailer and all I know about what this movie’s about is that Freddy Rodriguez calls out to one of his friends “What up dawg?”, I get an additional shot of Eva Longoria’s ass in her thong underwear while Bale and Rodriguez sip beers inside their car as they’re driving to hell knows where. I would be a fan of all this if someone would just let me in on what’s going on. Unfortunately, not a shred of plot is revealed. It’s all parlor tricks up to this point.

Now, at about the half-way point of this trailer, I won’t even bother you all with the extraneous mish-mash of sliced scenes that are piled on in an effort to make everything look cool and hip, and let’s not forget edgy, can’t forget edgy in an effort to take hold of that key demo to get young men into the theater, but from what I can cobble together like some Da Vinci code clue hunt I think Bale has some temper issues and he’s being scrutinized for something or another. Ah, yes, here it is, the fat guy on the couch who is barely in focus let’s us know the crux of the whole fucking movie: Bale’s wanted for a task force that’s going to Columbia to bust some heads. And that’s it. End of explanation.

It’s when we get this information that the movie moves from a TRAINING DAY type of film to one more like 25TH HOUR. These two dudes, Rodriguez and Bale are homies and they just have a little time left with one another before one of them gets shipped south. I don’t see why this was such a production to get this information but from seeing Bale and Freddie get into a whole lot of fisticuffs with strange people to Bale having flashbacks like no one’s business I am at a loss to feel whether this is really even worth

seeing. All this movie seems to be about by the end is boozing, shootin’, lootin’ and Christian doing a whole lot of demonic laughing.

This film doesn’t seem to have a point and I’m inclined to make one for it by saying that this flick looks like it would do well going straight to DVD.

CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (2006)

Director: Yimou Zhang
Cast:
Jay Chou, Yun-Fat Chow, Li Gong, Qin Junjie, Man Lir
Release: December 22, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: The plot concerns the volatile balance of power between the King (Chow Yun Fat) and the Queen (Gong Li) and his three sons, which entails betrayal, deceit and passion, pitting the King against Queen and father against sons. The glorious canvas includes many of the creative team behind HERO and HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive Donkey Punch to the Gooch. The majority of you, I know, have already seen HERO and HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS.

These movies represent, really, the result of what happens when you have a satchel full of ideas and the means to execute them on a grand scale. Yimou Zhang is not a household name here in the States, for reasons that are all too obvious, but this man has bought more than his share of goodwill for those of us with money to spend. His direction isn’t flawless but for as many times as international directors are talked about with glowing regards it’s an anomaly as to why Zhang isn’t more well-covered.

Everyone else’s loss, our gain.

In fact, I would go so far as to posit that if Zhang were put through the same treatment as Ang Lee or even John Woo there would be a clunker in there somewhere and I’m not sure I would be ready to see what the result would be.

This trailer, as sparse as it is, just explodes with the kind of flavor that is lacking in so many other previews that have the opportunity to let their production value do its speaking for it. The first element that helps to shape the message of this movie is its melodic opening. While, yes, Virginia, there are going to be some hardcore ass whupings coming down the pike but before we get there it’s a very quiet opening.

The yellow just bursts against the grey skies in the palace courtyard with the guards and peasants that are at the ready to serve the needs for the King, Chow Yun-Fat. Yun-Fat, by the way, did get the same kind of Woo/Lee-ization much to the detriment for those of us who really did want the man to become accepted in the mainstream, but, thankfully, here there are nearly no remnants of the education that he do doubt got with Marky Mark on the set of THE CORRUPTOR.

I am pleased to see that, quite economically, the cards employed here to establish who Yimou Zhang is to everyone else in attendance are done with great tact and swiftness. No matter if they did run long because it’s about this time when Yun-Fat is about to be put upon by a cadre of 10 mo-fos with swords. But, boo-yaa, 6 mo-fos on Yun-Fat’s security detail slip down from the ceiling, all wearing ninja black, no less, and it looks like some serious sword play is about to go down. The colors, as well, are just gorgeous; from the red and gold all around the palace hallway to the lavish costuming of those in the moment it all just makes you forget that no one’s saying a damn word.

We get more of the same, stoicism from Yun-Fat and demureness from Gong Li, but what’s important to note here is that the full-on fighting that takes place with palace guards and those who are no doubt trying to usurp the King’s power base looks just as enthralling as it did in DAGGERS and HERO.

The armies fighting, the grand battles between individuals and the thick plot that underlies it all seem to be Zhang’s suit and it doesn’t look like there is any slacking on his part. While there isn’t any indication of any true direction of how the story is supposed to go but Zhang’s attraction here is the attention to the grandiose and mystical. Both are executed with great zealousness.

Weekend Shopping Guide 10/27/06: Over The Hedge

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

weekendshopping.jpg

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

After his talk show went down in flames and was cancelled by the BBC, beleaguered king of the faux pas Alan Partridge finds himself with the last presenting job he can get – early morning DJ in rural Norwich. Separated from his wife, living in a travel lodge, and quickly running out of money, Partridge is desperate to get back on TV – even if it kills him (or anyone around him, including his even-more beleaguered personal assistant, Lynn). In the first series of I’m Alan Partridge (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), Steve Coogan injects even more uncomfortable pathos into his brilliant comic creation. The 2-disc set features all 6 episodes, plus in-character audio commentaries with Partridge & Lynn, audio commentaries with Coogan, writer Peter Baynham & writer/producer Armando Iannucci, deleted scenes, and a still gallery.

While Pixar’s Cars didn’t exactly float my boat, I really and truly dug Over The Hedge (Dreamworks, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP), about a group of animals who invade the suburbia that’s long been encroaching on their rapidly-diminishing woodland home, in search of food, glorious food.. Maybe that’s because – like Shrek before it – it wasn’t afraid to be out and out funny, which Pixar’s projects never seem to be able to sustain (or, granted, even try). Unlike Shrek, though, Hedge is a very nicely designed and animated flick – of course, it’s based on a comic strip whose art style I like a great deal, so it’s nice that they didn’t drop the ball in adapting it for CG. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes featurettes, Dwayne’s “Verm Tech” infomercial, and more.

On the master list of shows that simply must come out on DVD, the 1960’s iteration of The Addams Family (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) was near the top. Well, the wait is over, as get a 3-disc first volume of the disturbingly funny family, featuring 22 episodes, audio commentaries, featurette, original drawings, and photos. My one disappointment? That Fox – MGM’s new distributor – is the last company still using double-sided discs for their TV releases. Please stop.

You would think the comedic novelty of using off-the-cuff interviews with the British public (about a variety of topics) delivered by animated members of the animal kingdom would wear off, but the geniuses of both Aardman’s claymation and the (unknowing) interviewees themselves is still powerfully funny. If you don’t believe me, check out the complete second season of Creature Comforts (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.96 SRP) – featuring over 2 hours of episodes – and see if I’m wrong. The 2-disc set also features a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, an extended making-of, and the Christmas special.

While the second season the animated Justice League was a marked improvement from the rather stale premiere season, it wasn’t until the show morphed into Justice League Unlimited (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP) that everything finally gelled, and the quality of writing began to equal the heyday of the Batman and Superman animated series. Technically, the 4-disc “Season One” set features the 26 episodes that were aired as two independent seasons, but comprise an incredibly intricate and well-realized story arc rarely seen on what is ostensibly kid’s programming, with themes ranging from the overreach of government authority to homeland security. It’s an amazing storyline, and worth viewing in its unbroken entirety. Bonus features include a pair of audio commentaries (on “This Little Piggy” and “The Return”), a featurette on revamping the show in the transition to Unlimited, and audio tracks.

And while we’re on the subject of the animated DC universe, also available is the often underappreciated Batman Beyond‘s second season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP). What could easily have evolved into a gimmick – future Batman with a teenager behind the mask – instead became deeply woven within the already establish Batman: Animated mythos, and Terry McGinnis’ Batman never fell into the trap of becoming a teenage cliché. The 4-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus a pair of audio commentaries (on “Splicers” & “The Eggbaby”) and an in-depth panel discussion with the show’s creators (Paul Dini, Bruce Timm, Glen Murakami, and Alan Burnett).

Just in time for the release of Tim Burton’s stop-motion masterpiece in 3-D form to theaters all over the country, Danny Elfman’s soundtrack Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack (Walt Disney Records, $18.98 SRP) gets a 2-disc deluxe treatment, the centerpiece of which is the remastered original tracks themselves. The second disc features a clutch of largely negligible cover versions by Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, and Fall Out Boy, but is saved by a quartet of Elfman’s original demos.

They’re cotton candy confections, to be sure, but there’s an endearing joi de vivre to the 10 films that comprise the 12-disc Astaire and Rogers: The Complete Film Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) – Flying Down To Rio, The Gay Divorcee, Roberta, Top Hat, Follow The Fleet, Swing Time, Shall We Dance, The Barkleys of Broadway, Carefree, and The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle. Fully remastered and as sparkling as Fred & Ginger themselves, the discs are packed with vintage featurettes, shorts, cartoons, commentaries, and more. If that weren’t enough, there’s the feature-length documentary Astaire and Rogers: Partners In Rhythm, and a bonus CD of the sings from the films – Oh, and deluxe reproductions of photos and promotional materials from the Warner archives.

I promise not to turn this into a political statement, but with recent developments in Congress, I can only hope that people take a moment to watch a film like The Road To Guantanamo (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP). Based on a true story, it finds a trio of British flying to Pakistan for a wedding shortly after the 9/11 attacks. A spur-of-the-moment trip into Afghanistan is unfortunately timed with the US attack on al Qaeda, and the three men are captured and sent to the US military detention center at Guantanamo Bay. What happens to them there, and their eventual fate, I leave to the viewer.

Until I saw the breadth of Pete Townshend’s solo work via his newly-remastered sans-Who albums, I never realized how prolific he’s been. Those albums – which include an impressive selection of bonus tracks – include All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes, Deep End Live!, Scoop, Another Scoop, Scoop 3, White City, Empty Glass, Rough Mix, Who Came First, and Psychoderelict (Hip-O, $13.98-$22.98 SRP each). Also available is the DVD of Townshend’s Psychoderelict: Live In New York (Hip-O, $14.98 SRP).

I never really got into the Fox sitcom Greg the Bunny, but do think the indie film parodies that the puppet “cast” have been doing on the IFC Channel (along with meat puppet Seth Green) have been incredibly funny. Fourteen of those parodies are included in the 2-disc Greg The Bunny: Best Of The Film Parodies (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), along with audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a pair of featurettes, a gag reel, and photo galleries.

Join the crew of the deep sea submersible SSRN Seaview for more fantastical Irwin Allen adventure in the first volume of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea‘s second season (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features the first 13 episodes of the show’s sophomore outing, plus special effects footage and still galleries. My one complaint is that Fox insists on using the dual-sided discs that every other studio has abandoned. Come on, guys!

Without the work of Harry Smith, scores of folk tunes – many passed down from generation to generation – would most likely have disappeared from our collective cultural memory. A lifelong collector of the folk music of “old, weird America”, Smith’s work is a boon to us all – and is thoroughly celebrated by the 4-disc Harry Smith Project: Anthology of American Folk Music Revisited (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). The first two audio discs feature the amazing concert that brought together the likes of Elvis Costello, Nick Cave, Sonic Youth, and Garth Hudson to perform those old standards live, with disc 3 being a DVD of the concert in full visual splendor. The final disc features the documentary The Old, Weird America, which celebrates Smith’s project, plus bonus music selections.

Although they tend to be wildly uneven, I tend to enjoy the projects that present a series of Stephen King’s short stories in their original form (such as Cat’s Eye), as opposed to some of the failed attempts to expand a short story into a long film (granted, there are exceptions – such as Stand By Me). Having said that, it should come as no surprise that I mostly enjoyed TNT’s multi-part Nightmares & Dreamscapes (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), which adapted 8 short stories for the small screen (“Battleground,” “Crouch End,” “Umney’s Last Case,” “The End Of The Whole Mess,” “The Road Virus Heads North,” “The Fifth Quarter,” “Autopsy Room Four,” and “You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band”). The 3-disc set also sports behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, and more.

By golly, how I love the Dick York episodes of Bewitched (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). By comparison, the Dick Sergeant episodes are like watching a Bizarro version of the show – the magic (yes, pun) just isn’t there. Luckily, York was still around in the show’s fourth season, which also featured the regular line-up of favorites (even Uncle Arthur). The 4-disc set features all 33 episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Where’s the magic in that?

Pete Townshend isn’t the only Who alum getting the remastered treatment, with Roger Daltrey’s solo albums Ride A Rock Horse, One Of The Boys, and Daltrey (Hip-O, $13.98 SRP each) also available, each containing the requisite complement of bonus tracks to round things out.

It tries desperately hard to acquire the same kind of endearingly b-movie schlock, but Slither (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) can’t help but feel like – believe it or not – a poor man’s Tremors. Maybe that’s because it’s so self-aware of its low-rent cult aspirations, coming off as nowhere near as earnest as Tremors. Still, there’s something to be said for a flick about slithery unknown creatures besieging and devouring the populace of the stereotypical small town. Bonus features include deleted/extended scenes, an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a gag reel, and more.

I know I’m in the minority, but really and truly do not know what all the fuss was about Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was a poor red-headed stepchild of a riff off much better, much smarter, and much better realized material like Rushmore and Freaks and Geeks. It just left me cold. Regardless of my feelings towards it, though, I was at least intrigued by writer/director Jared Hess’s follow-up, Nacho Libre (Paramount, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). Once I found out that Jack Black would be starring as a Mexican wrestler, my interest was naturally piqued. Unfortunately, what I found was more of the same aimless, lethargic filmmaking that brought Napoleon Dynamite down for me. Still, it does have Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler, so there’s that. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, “Jack Black Sings!,” and more.

There’ve been a few odd episodic releases, but fans can finally lay their hands on the complete first season of Cartoon Network’s Ed, Edd n Eddy (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). The 2-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus an interview with the creator, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a look at how to draw Eddy, and promos.

While some despise their overblown bombast, I’ve always loved that over-the-top orchestral pretension that could only come from The Moody Blues. Two of their landmark albums – Days of Future Passed & In Search of the Lost Chord (Deram, $26.98 SRP each) – have been fully remastered , each containing a bonus disc packed with alternate mixes, demos, and B-sides. Nights in white satin, riding see-saws on a Tuesday afternoon – that’s some good listening.

You know, with a special appearance by Jermaine Jackson, it’s almost an embarrassment of riches in the third season of The Facts Of Life (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), but at least this is still the era of Charlotte Rae’s Mrs. Garrett. No offense to Cloris Leachman, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Rae.

The man who gave Q-Tips, rubber bands, and aspirin dozens of new uses wraps up his DVD run with the release of the seventh and final season of MacGyver (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Of course, as with any long-running adventure series, things went decidedly bizarre as it wound to a close, with not only a voodoo priest, but also a bit of time travel.

In the early 80’s, Nickelodeon’s programming day was stocked largely with shows acquired from abroad, such as You Can’t Do That On Television and Danger Mouse. One of the shows I used to watch was The Adventures of The Little Prince (Koch, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), the lone inhabitant of asteroid B-612 who learns how to hitch rides on passing comets and explore the far ends of the galaxy. The 4-disc set features 26 episodes from the series, and I can’t wait to show them to my little nephew.

I’ve never been a fan of the Mission: Impossible film franchise. It always struck me as far too gimmicky – like a poor man’s Bond – and the third installment in the series (Paramount, Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.98 SRP) dips even further into the recent Bond playbook, giving our hero Ethan Hunt an exploitable weakness in a wife (Michelle Monaghan) at the mercy of a sadistic arms dealer (a schizophrenic Philip Seymour Hoffman). And, I admit, Tom Cruise’s recent public lunacy played a pretty large part in turning me off to the flick – I just couldn’t take him seriously with visions of him couch-jumping like a madman dancing in my head. The 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary with Cruise and director J.J. Abrams, 9 behind-the-scenes featurettes (focusing on everything from special effects to the story development), deleted scenes, an interview with Cruise & Abrams, and more.

You can take your fancy-pants (and increasingly monotonous) C.S.I.s in all its procedural permutations – give me the BBC’s Waking the Dead (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), which focuses on the sleuthing abilities of the “Cold Case” Unit. Check out the complete first season set and see what I’m on about.

Okay, as a music fan, I definitely was swept up in Beat The Intro (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) – an interactive game containing over 3,000 questions based on song intros, lyrics, pics, and history. Yes, an hour had gone by, and I didn’t even know it. I did, however, kick ass.

Listening to Waylon Sings Hank Williams (YMC Records, $13.98 SRP), it reminds me just how much I miss Waylon Jennings as a performer and as a voice. Covering iconic Williams tunes like “Hey Good Lookin'” and “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,” the songs are unmistakably Jennings, elevating the already classics songs.

It was during the third season that already suspicious fans of The OC (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP) – following the declining quality of season 2 – had their worst fears borne out as the once-clever show seemed to be imploding into a mess of overwrought stories and annoying characters. Which is a shame, because it burned quite brightly in its first season. The 7-disc set features all 25 episodes plus selected-scene commentary, a featurette on “The Party Favor,” behind-the-scenes of the Subways video, “What’s In A Name?” featurette, and bloopers.

How about a bit of a Brit-TV round-up? Now available are the complete seventh series of the Britcom classic Only Fools and Horses (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), Monarch of the Glen: Series 5 (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), and the second series of Hamish MacBeth (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP), starring Robert Carlyle as the no-nonsense sheriff of small-town Lochdubh.

I’m no fan of the bloody horror pics, and even less of a fan of the goretastic sado-masochism found in the Saw franchise. But far be it from me to not at least acknowledge that there is a healthy (if somewhat unfortunate) fanbase for the twisted morality exercises of Jigsaw and his special puppet friend. Saw II: Special Edition (Lionsgate, Unrated, DVD-$26.98 SRP) is pretty much a rehash of the first Saw, with the obligatory increase in the blood and gore. The new 2-disc special edition features audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes documentaries, director Darren Lynn Bousman’s short film Zombie, a tribute to producer Gregg Hoffman, and the theatrical trailer.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

##

October 26, 2006

Music For The Masses: October 26th, 2006

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:38 am
musicmasses2.jpg

Hello there, friends! Welcome back again!! How the hell are ya’? Me? Good lord… I’m more tickled right now than a D.C. page at a Mark Foley pool party. Okay… almost as tickled. But seriously… it really makes me giddy when I ask you fine folks for a little help and you jump all over the task like Madonna on a Malawi orphanage. Color me impressed, folks. Now, for those of you just tuning in, last time out I was having issues deciding on a kick ass Halloween costume so I decided to punt to you dear readers. And, in typical Music For The Masses fashion, I got EXACTLY what I asked for… and then some. BOY, AND HOW!!!! So, without further ado, I’m turning the spotlight on the winners of the Danny Elfman CD’s, in no particular order…

Dan L. from Burbank, CA, writes… and writes… and writes… : You could go easy and go as “Ask a Ninja”. That would be a trendy costume. I may do that, since I can do the voice pretty well and have the mannerisms down. If you want an easy costume, you could wear a big bow with a big gift tag that says TO: Women FROM: God. If that’s too cheesy for you or if you think you are the opposite of that, just change the tag to read, TO: The Women I don’t love FROM: God. It’s easy, doesn’t cost anything, and sometimes chicks think that kinda thing is clever and you get the hookups. Whatever…

m4m-dan-oct26

Or you could do what I did last year and go as a suicide bomber… but only if it’s a 90% Persian party. Which I did. Oh and I’m not Persian. I’m “Whitey McHonkey” pale. You see my buddy Al Queda (his name is Bobby, but hey, everyone needs a nickname) was hosting a costume party in the Hollywood Hills. He is Iranian but is the most “American” Iranian I’ve ever met. Anyway, he said that you couldn’t get into the party if you didn’t wear a costume. I’m not one for wearing costumes and I don’t like being forced to do anything. So I said fine, I’ll wear a costume. And, like I said, it was a party with about 150 people, 90% of which were Persian. And the pic above (I’m the one on the right) is what I wore. Needless to say I thought I was going to get stabbed, but that’s why I forced my friend to be one as well, in case I needed a human shield. It actually was a big hit at the party. The host’s mom came up and told me how she felt like she was back home. Crazy, right? And I lived to tell about it. Luckily, he isn’t having a party this year because the only way I could top what I wore last year is to come as Mohammad. And I kinda want to live past Halloween.

Holy shit, Dan. I’m sitting here right now thinking two things, three if you count a floundering joke involving the term “camel toe.” One, it must have been damn near impossible fitting that costume over your giant balls and two, who did you get to start your car for you when you left the party? BLAMO!!! Enjoy the CD, man. You more than earned it. Allahu Akbar!!

Christina Y., hailing from Aurora, CO and obviously confusing me for a member of MENSA, offers up two suggestions. The first, is to build a giant, 9′ 2″ fucking robot… yes, fucking…

m4m-robot

… with a little, motorized ant “driving” it…

m4m-robot1

… powered by a circuit board that would make an MIT graduate’s asshole pucker.

m4m-robot2

I greatly appreciate the vote of confidence here, Christina, but I couldn’t build this thing if I tried. If you’d have been paying closer attention, you’d know a couple of crucial things about me. First, I write the rough-draft of this column in crayon so I don’t hurt myself and second, my two most-favoritist things to do are playing “Sniff the Finger” and “Put Stuff On The Cat.”

m4m-cat-oct26

Good times… good times. Of course, Christina, you also recommended that I go as Elfman’s “Satan” character from the Forbidden Zone and that is ABSOLUTELY worthy of a CD, so… Enjoy!!

Jeff B. from Mesa, AZ, offers up a rather simple suggestion. “Go as a cock fighter,” he says. Interesting choice, Jeff. However, I will fully admit that I didn’t realize the enormity, length or girth of this idea until I opened the accompanying photo…

m4m-fight-oct26

That’s some funny shit, right there, Jeff. Good work. Very, umm… tasteful. Enjoy the CD.

Now, probably my favorite response is the one I received from Jim A. of Des Moines, IA. You see, Jim decided to completely ignore the whole point of this contest and just sent me his name, address and this picture…

m4m-dog-oct26

… which reminds me of a porno I picked up in the $6 bin at my local “Rub n’ Chub.” At any rate, enjoy the CD, Jim. I have no idea what the hell this has to do with anything, but what the hey. Oh, and Jim? I hear that if you take just a little peanut butter and slather it all over your… oh, who am I kidding? I’m sure you already know all this!! Have fun with Rover, there, tiger!! PETA will be contacting you shortly.

And last, but not least, is A.J. from Portland, OR, who writes… “Screw the fancy costumes, man. Pick yourself up a little kid’s Batman outfit. Trust me. . .the chicks will be all over you like old people on a buffet.”

m4m-bat-oct26

Speaking of being “all over the buffet” there A.J., considering that you have bigger tits than Anna Nicole, you may want to sit one out, know what I’m sayin’, playa’? I keed, I keed!! At any rate, considering that you look a HELL of a lot like Kevin Smith in Mallrats, you get a CD. “Fly, Fat Ass!! Fly!!!”

Well, there you have it, friends. And seriously, thanks to all of you who entered. Obviously, I can’t give you all a CD, but if you didn’t win, know this… I am reserving a special place in Heaven for each and every one of you who entered. Of course, the only seats I had left were “Obstructed View,” but what the hell… at least I’m not sticking you back by the shitters.

For the rest of you? Feel free to use any of these ideas for your Halloween costume this year. Me? Well, you see, this outpouring of creativity, or, in some cases, out-right thievery, has made me realize that I should just come up with my own costume idea, so… that’s EXACTLY what I did. Granted, dressing up as Spider-man is not the most “original” idea, but, I think you’ll agree, I was able to put my own “stamp” on it. .

m4m-spider

Pretty sweet, huh? I’m just praying it doesn’t get too cold on Halloween, otherwise, the “trick” will be on me and the only “treat” I’ll get is a frost-bitten “web-shooter.” BA DUMP BUMP!!!

But enough about all that, friends, for, even though it’s a REALLY slow time for new releases, we still have a few to check out including the new ones from Jeremy Enigk and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Also, we have a review from a pissed-off Record Store clerk and a chance for you aspiring artists out there to “Pimp Your Band.” Should be fun. So, what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we??!!

m4m-je-oct26 Artist: Jeremy Enigk
Album: World Waits
Bastard Love Child of: Sunny Day Real Estate and and the sweet, angelic voice of a little baby Jesus.
Best for: Taking a contemplative moment to wonder, “Seriously. . .What WOULD Jesus do?”

m4m-enigk-oct26

The fact that Jeremy Enigk is NOT a household name is one of the great tragedies of our modern times. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it is one of the signs of the Apocalypse… right between the whole “raining frogs” thing and Paris Hilton’s popularity. Oh, by the way, speaking of Paris, I guess you can “hire” her for a $100,000 to host your New Year’s Eve party. Hmm… I wonder if a video tape of you and her having awkward, fumbling sex later that night is included? Either way, I recommend pocketing the cash and spending the evening with a 1X6 with a blonde wig stapled to the top. The conversation will be more lively, the night more fun and the sex… about the same… umm, from what I’ve seen. But I digress.

m4m-paris-oct26

Now, for the sake of those of you out there who have no frickin’, (yes, I just typed frickin’ in a vain attempt to “clean up my act”), clue as to who Jeremy Enigk is, let me briefly fill you in. He is the ethereal-voiced ex-lead singer of emo-core pioneers Sunny Day Real Estate (GREAT fucking band… yes, I just typed “fucking”… the attempt to clean up my act “didn’t take”), current lead singer of The Fire Theft (when he feels like it) and full-time, speakin’-in-tongues, rattlesnake-throwin’ Jesus freak. His favorite color is mauve, he has a Shitzu named Earl and he can break up a band faster than Yoko Ono. *Editor’s note: M.C. has no fucking clue what Jeremy’s favorite color is or if he even has a dog. He does, however, tend to break up his bands much like that evil harpy Yoko.*

m4m-tasty2

Jeremy also happens to possess one of the most uniquely impressive voices that I have ever heard and his last effort with Sunny Day Real Estate, The Rising Tide, with it’s swelling orchestration, impressive guitar work and, of course, Jeremy’s tremendous vocal range, is easily in my top 25 and, I would argue, a “must own” album. And many of those same elements, minus the meaty guitar work of phenom Dan Hoener, are present on this new solo album, World Waits. However, without Dan, the album never quite kicks out of the more mellow-melodic groove of Jeremy’s work with The Fire Theft. No, this is not a bad thing. In fact, as the tracks on this overly short disc progress, fans of Jeremy’s work and any of it’s various iterations will easily recognize elements from Sunny Day’s Rising Tide or Diary and The Fire Theft disc. And this really kicks ass. For you non-fans? Hmm… honestly, for the uninitiated, I could see Jeremy’s, whinny-at-times timbre irritating the holy hell out of you. I would recommend that you pick up The Rising Tide first to get acclimated to his sound (and because you should own it) and in a friendlier (read: more accessible) environment. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want a superb disc from an under-appreciated artist, grab a copy of World Waits and let it grow on you like a cold sore on Albert Pujols lip (Thanks HDTV!!). You won’t be disappointed.

To check out the best songs on the disc, minus the spooky-as-hell “Damien Dreams,” hit Jeremy’s MySpace page… www.myspace.com/jeremyenigk.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (only because it’s too damn short)

doublea

m4m-gimme-oct26

Now before you get all discombobulated, I’ll clear one thing up for you, if you weren’t already in the know. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is NOT a rap group. Nor are the Gimmes considered hip-hop. In fact, they are pretty far from the genre that I have been primarily getting over the last few months. See the Gimmes are a punk band, but more importantly they could be considered a “Super Punk” band. The band consists of members of other perennial punk bands like NoFX, Swinging Utters and Lagwagon. You can think of them as the Damn Yankees of a new generation. But of course instead of “The Nuge” and a 50 year old guy from Night Ranger, you get a bunch of punk dudes. I think that it’s a fair trade all around. Oh and did I mention that the Gimmes are strictly a cover band? No? Well, they are.

Back with a fifth studio album, Love Their Country, is a collection of County-type songs done up all punk like. Normally I would shy away from anything having to do with country music, but if Me First and the Gimme Gimmes are involved, I will at least give it a listen. Love Their Country is not the groups best effort, but it’s not bad either. With songs like the Eagles Desperado and the Dixie Chicks’ Goodbye Earl, the band covers songs ranging from pseudo country to straight up, shit kicking, bull sexing country. None of the songs are bad, but there are only a few, like Goodbye Earl and Sunday Morning Comedown (Johnny Cash) that really stand out.

m4m-gimme2-oct26

The biggest gripe I have with this album is the length. Clocking in at just over 25 minutes, this disc should have a lot more music. Of course this is quite common in the punk side of the business, and the rap side as well, but it still doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I mean if I’m going to pay for a CD, I’d like to get my money out of it. I don’t think 25 minutes quite justifies my 18 dollar expenditure. It would be like if (or more commonly when) I pay a stripper for a lap dance and she leaves her top on till half way through the song. I mean it’s just not right!

m4m-gimme3-oct26

Anyways, Love Their Country is a good album especially if you’re a fan of that crazy punk music. If you’re a straight up country fan, I think you’ll want to stay away. But then again I think that if Garth Brooks threw more “fucks” into his songs, I could see myself giving him more of a listen.

Rating:3 out of 5

REVIEWS BY

 

m4m-rob-oct26

Robb O.
“Dan’s New & Used CDeez” Employee

Man, I’m serious. You customers REALLY piss me off. Always coming up and asking, in your whiny, little voices “Do you have any Green Day? Do you have any AFI? Do you have any Panic! At the Disco?” Gahh!! Flavors of the day, people. Flavors of the day. All you pop music posers make me want to puke all down the front of my Shitz Londer and the Horror Babes T-shirt. I even told the owner, Dan, about how much you all suck and how little you know about good music, and that asshole wrote me up! Can you believe it? Probably a fucking Hinder fan. Seriously. All of you sheep wouldn’t know good music if it bit you on your pimpled, Lucky Jean-wearing asses. I cut my teeth on Springsteen, people. Ever heard of him? Now THAT’s music. Yeah. That’s right. Can’t make fun of him, can you? That’s why I kick-ass. How about Robert Johnson? That’s right, I know the blues, too. Uh huh. That’s why I rule and you drool. Ever heard of Beat Farmers? G Love and Special Sauce? Of course you haven’t. You suck. Seriously. From the giant, commercial tit. Just lapping up whatever the major labels throw at you. Damn! Wait till you leave the store, man. . .me and Steve are going to make sooo much fun of you, your ears are going to burn clean off.

m4m-sparta1

I’m not EVEN joking here… if one more person asks me about the new Sparta disc, I’m going to go postal. Seriously, idiots. Let Uncle Robb give you a little history lesson here since you suck. First, stupid jack-asses, I was into these guys way back when they were in At The Drive-In. Yeah. That’s right. Back when you were listening to Top-40 pabulum, I was into these guys. Hell, their first album came out right when I started here. Me and Steve were both like “Yeah! This is the shit!! This is so much better than all of that pop-crap, major label bullshit that our customers are always asking for! Yeah!!!” Of course, I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. I know you’ve never heard of them. But I have. That’s why you suck. Whatever. Let’s just suffice it to say that ATDI were the best thing to come out of San Diego since Rocket From the Crypt. Don’t worry. I know you’ve never heard of them either… because you suck. Like Sinatra said, “The money’s on the dresser.” No, I don’t know what that means, but screw you. I’m quoting Sinatra. You can’t do that.

m4m-sparta

Look, time for me to take you to school here… try to stay with me if your tiny brains are able. At The Drive-In basically redefined music for an entire generation of bands, much like Morphine. True “artistes” in every sense of the word. When they disbanded, the world, this Earth and certainly what we humans refer to as music, got a little bit more opaque. No, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t matter. Like Morrisey once said, “Girlfriend in a coma, I know. It’s serious.” Yeah… stings, huh?

So anyway, idiots, the two most responsible for At The Drive-In’s true direction and intensity, Cedric and Omar (you know the guys that were in DeFacto before At The Drive-In? Of course you don’t), they formed the Mars Volta back when you were still listening to Brittany Spears and Matchbox 20. That’s right. I could school you like this all day long. All day long, man. Well, at least until my shift ends at 8. I thought I was going to have to close tonight, but Dan called Rick, so I’m cool. But, hey… I think I’ve already proven that, you pop-loving mongoloids.

m4m-rere

You dummies still with me? Yeah, well, the other At The Drive-In guys, the more “mainstream” guys, formed the sellout, “wannabe” shame Sparta. But of course you DO know this. You suck. That’s why you keep asking me for this album. After all, your masters at MTV and bullshit radio told you too. Sheep. If you had ANY taste at all, you’d be asking me for Fugazi. Whatever. Like pearls before swine. No, I don’t know what that means, but whatever. You suck.

Consider yourself schooled and if you’ve learned nothing else today, I hope you at least learned that you suck. In fact, don’t even bother coming into this store anymore until you get some musical taste like I have. Your taste in music sucks even more than the new Sparta disc. And no, I haven’t even listened to it, but I don’t have too ““ Sparta sold out. After all, how can they be good when they’ve had their souls ground up in the corporate machine?

Rating: -1000 out of 5

* Editor’s notes:

At The Drive-In is actually from El Paso, Texas”¦ not San Diego.

Rob actually liked the new Sparta until Steve made fun of him. Steve liked it until somebody made fun of him.

The new Sparta disc is actually quite good and a musical and lyrical improvement over their last disc (Rating 3.5 out of 5).

Records store clerks don’t know shit about music and are generally dicks.*

BAND OF THE WEEK!!!!

You know? In addition to MySpace being a GREAT place to meet a Dateline reporter, it’s also a great place to check out some new and unsigned artists. To honor these individuals and their art, I thought it would be cool to feature a band here each time out, sans any remarks or comments from yours truly. Consider this your place to shine. If you want you or band featured here, just drop me a line. Up first…

THE TASTYDACTYLS

Austin, Texas

m4m-tasty

Website: www.myspace.com/thetastydactyls

Band Members:

Blake- Guitar/Vocals/Keys

Austun- Drums/Vocals/Train Whistle

Kyle- Keys/Synth/Samples

Big Blake- Rickenbacker Bass/Tamborine

Chelsey- Everything Else

Influences: Too numerous (and humorous) to list. Log on and see for yourself!

Sounds Like: “The Muppet Band re-mixed.”

CD Available? YES!!! Again, hit the web-site and check us out!!

Label: None… for now!

Message from the band: Big Blake- “The only thing I can tell you about us over and above what you can glean from our web-site is that we are a fun-loving group, a tremendous live act and that the three 19 year olds in the band all went to high school together. The original bass player “lost interest” AND, because they were practicing in my garage (guitarist has dated my daughter for almost 4 years), I chipped in, started popping the bass and helping with the song writing. In my humble opinion… that decision paid off in spades! Finally, we have a CD ready to ship to our adoring fans so… what are you waiting for?? Check us out!!”

m4m-tasty2

If you want your band featured here, shoot me an email at the link below!

Well, folks, that’s going to do it for me and the gang this week, sountil next timekeep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send pictures of stuff on your cat, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:


M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

m4m-pumpkin

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/26/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Christopher Walken’s Three Little Pigs… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
  • A little snippet of the brilliant QI, with a bit of a Halloween theme… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 78 – Ghost to Ghost

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

fredhembeckheader.jpg

Halloween is almost upon us again.

Me, I love All Hallows Eve. If there truly is one holiday that belongs to kids, this – even more so than Christmas – is it. But unlike waking up on December 25th, reasonably assured Santa stopped off the night before, delivering the requisite gifts, there’s always an unsettling uncertainty about October 31st’s grand finale.

hembeck2006-10-26-01.jpg

Stop and think about it – you can watch a scary movie anytime, buy yourself a bag of candy corn at your tummy’s convenience, throw a costume party whenever you choose, even carve a pumpkin when the mood hits you, but trick or treating? Uh uh – there’s a very small window of opportunity for THAT activity – roughly a couple of hours on the last night of each October – and when it’s over, baby, it’s OVER!

You were too sick to go out gathering candy with your friends? Sorry, pal – there’s no do-overs on November 1st. You’re just gonna have to wait – AN ENTIRE YEAR!!

A torrential downpour? Oh, well – just gotta hope for better weather next time around.

Yeah, Halloween can be cruel.

It rained the night of my daughter Julie’s initial trick or treating expedition. Happily, while it was a steady rain, it wasn’t enough to keep us off the streets – or enough to give us pneumonia either! She was only three at the time, and the truth is, I got just as big a kick – maybe more – of roaming the streets in search of sweets as Julie did. We were living in the smallish city of Kingston then, where there was a rather early curfew of 7 o’clock, and I can still vividly recall the last house we visited that night as we headed back home. It was maybe five minutes past seven, and as we climbed up onto one final porch, and rang one last doorbell, I saw the women come from down the hallway towards us. Initially, all she could see was my weatherbeaten countenance, and frankly, she looked pretty disgusted, but as soon as she got close enough to spy the adorable two foot ghost accompanying me, her expression changed entirely. It was a lesson that would serve us well in the selling of Girl Scout cookies – it’s hard to say no to “cute”.

Well, maybe that evening’s precipitation was our trial by fire (such as it was), and we passed, because ever since, we’ve been lucky enough to have had rain free Halloweens, several of which were downright balmy for upstate New York. When we moved here to our new home ten years back, we also moved into a curfew-free environment. Generally, the rule of thumb around these parts is that the costumed ghouls and ghosties take to the streets somewhere between 5 and 9, with most of the heavy activity falling between 6:30 and 8. Of course, that doesn’t preclude teen-agers banging on your door at 10:45 as they did the first year we were here. I answered the door, but expressed a bit of surprise that they’d even consider stopping by at that late an hour. The teens were quick to point out that we had left all our outdoor lights on, and to them, that was clearly a signal that we were still actively in the candy-doling business. Well, I gave then their Baby Ruth’s and sent them on their way, quickly turning off our lights, and have made a point of extinguishing our outer illumination shortly after nine each year since, meaning we’ve had no further late-night visits.

hembeck2006-10-26-02.jpg

Which is not to say that we haven’t been on the OTHER side of the coin ourselves. For a number of years, we’d go out with the next door neighbors, a pair of sisters and their mom. We’d head out as close to six as possible, and then just keep going, making big looping circles around the area, stopping in at home mid-way through to drop off our booty and maybe down a refreshing drink. Year in and year out, the kids next door would inevitably poop out about a half an hour before us, calling it a night while Julie and I trudged on, covering several now ever more deserted streets. One was a dead end where the folks way at the furthest end always put way too much effort into making their home Halloween friendly, as not nearly enough trick or treaters ever made it down there to fully appreciate all the cobwebs, skeletons, and carved pumpkins gaudily on display.

But we always made it, always alone, always near the end of our journey. HOW near the end? Well, I’ll never forget the one time, after our annual visit to the aforementioned Spooktacular, we headed on over to the house next door. Since the outdoor lights were still on – meaning it was fair game (no lights mean stay away, sorry, not home, or, done for the night) – we went up and rang the door bell. We waited patiently for a few seconds, and then through the large picture window in front, I saw a man, toothbrush still in mouth, dressed in pajamas, grab his robe, and head towards the door. By the time he’d opened the door, he had managed to put aside the toothbrush and bruskly gave Julie her treat.

Oops. You never want to be answering the door on Halloween in your jammies…

hembeck2006-10-26-03.jpg

I accompanied my daughter on her annual moonlight treks from ages three right on up to eleven, but was then politely informed that y’know, maybe she was getting a wee bit too old to be trick or treating with her daddy. I had to agree, however reluctantly. The following year was pretty rough – I had street walking withdrawal (if you know what I mean), but at least these days I get to stay at home and hand out goodies to the costumed cut-ups who knock on our door. It’s not quite the same as the magic of being out in the thick of things, but I guess it’s gonna have to do me. No doubt about it, I really treasure the time I put in on past Halloween expeditions. More than once, I’d stop Julie and tell her to take a look around and consider what was going on: right then and there, in every town, on every street, and at every house, kids dressed up in funny outfits were going door to door to stranger’s houses, requesting candy, and – oboy! – getting it!! Wow! What a wonderfully crazy idea this was!

hembeck2006-10-26-04.jpg

But it only lasts for a few ephemeral hours on one specific night each year, and if you missed it, you missed it. And even while we were amassing our booty – and it was more the thrill of the hunt than it was the bagging of the game, trust me – I could always sense the minutes ticking inexorably away, the magic of the night slowly evaporating, until the raucous crowds of kids criss-crossing each other on our suburban streets was reduced to merely occasional far-away echoes of stragglers as Julie and I headed home, rarely seeing anyone else still making out the rounds. All too soon, it was over, and everything was back to normal. Dull, unmagical normal….

Some folks don’t dig the trick or treating, and I respect that. Look, I was lucky enough to grow up in a Halloween friendly area, and the same can be said for now 16 year old Julie. But I suppose there are places where going out in the dark of night, angling for sweets, well, that may NOT be the best of ideas. That’s a dirty shame, because trick or treating really is a uniquely special custom, one I’m happy to take part of in any way possible!

One other personal tradition I’ve maintained growing up was rereading my various Little Lulu Halloween giants at the end of each October, especially in those years after I myself was deemed a bit too old to go trick or treating. This was a way for me to properly capture the spirit of the season, as these were the only comics I’ve ever encountered that acknowledged there was far more to Halloween than just telling hackneyed old ghost stories and the like. I’ve shared some random images from those late fifties, early sixties classic issues here to accompany my ruminations, and I hope I didn’t trick you into thinking this week’s episode was actually going to be about comics! Now, THAT would’ve been a treat! Maybe next time…

Happy Halloween, friends!

Hembeck.com – live from ghost to ghost all year round!

-Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

October 25, 2006

Scrubs Blog: Judy’s Shout Out

Filed under: Production Blogs,Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 7:13 pm
scrubsheader.jpg

VIDEO BLOG #63: “Judy’s Shout Out” ““
Still on the mend but healing fast, Judy Reyes drops a quick thanks to all you wonderful fans and well-wishers…

scrubs2006-10-25.jpg

Download Scrubs Video Blog #63:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 7.72 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 3.33 MB)

##

Brat-halla #151: Norse Force – Spin the Battle

Filed under: Brat-Halla,Comic Strips — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

NEWS: Well, all good things come to an end”¦ but not this comic. Seth and I (after a lot of thought and debating) have decided to move Brat-halla over to a new website. We’ll keep posting here for the next 2-3 weeks to let the casual readers get the news, but we’ll now be a part of Graphic Smash. We’ve enjoyed our time here, but we really wanted to make the comic (and its archives) easier to read for new readers and our long-time readers. Spook’d will keep chugging along here at Quick Stop.

Larger Comic Version | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Brat-halla #151: Norse Force - Spin the Battle

For extras, visit the Brat-halla Web site!

Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | BRAT-HALLA BLOG | BRAT-HALLA FORUM | ARCHIVES

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/25/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:00 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • The absolute worst Oscar opening number, ever. (Thingamabob)
  • Conan O’Brien and “The Monster Mash.” Dance, you red-headed monstrosity, dance! (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, High Poobah Kevin Smith on Sucks Less(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 24, 2006

Keneteph’s Korner: Film Review – Before The Music Dies

Filed under: Columns,Keneteph's Korner — UncaScroogeMcD @ 9:15 pm
keneteph.gif
Before the Music Dies: Putting the “Muse” Back in Music

As an independent musician, I have been hit with the harsh reality that things in the recording industry have not changed for the betterment of the artist.  Record companies are interested in the bottom line of making money, and not putting out music that positively influences, or grows on the listener.  The opportunities to openly express oneself and be heard that my influences had, are not exactly there for up and coming artists like myself.

When I first heard about director Andrew Shapter, and co-writer Joel Rasmussen’s film Before the Music Dies, a sense of inspiration hit me.  Once I finished watching the film, the feeling only grew, opening my mind to the fact that many music fans, and artists alike want to do something to change music for the better.  The film features artists Erykah Badu, Dave Matthews Band, Bonnie Rait, and Questlove from The Roots, and others all talking about their dissatisfaction on the way things have gone in the music industry.

keneteph2006-10-24 01.jpg
Joel Rasmussen & Andrew Shapter

Both Shapter and Rasmussen talked with me more in depth about their influences and purpose behind the film.  Shapter originally came up with the idea to make this documentary through his experience as a fashion photographer.  “I would take pictures for CD covers, and MTV, and noticed a shift in my job where an emphasis was placed on making the artist look younger as opposed to their music,” he explained.  Questions he posed about this and other issues in the music industry were subsequently answered in the film.  He pitched the idea for the film to Rasmussen, who is also a musician, and was keneteph2006-10-24 05.jpgtired of hearing the same songs on the radio.  “Both of us are parents and it concerned us that most songs don’t talk about things anymore,” Rasmussen said.  Reflecting on the music of yesteryear, they were frustrated that the lyrics in music have become so watered down.  “There was a time when an artist’s songs talked about things that were going on in the world and inspired its listeners,” Shapter added, “now the industry is not investing in prolific writers,.”  In search of the reason behind authentic music’s apparent demise, they allowed their quest to be the fuel behind creating an insightful documentary to pass on to their children, and other future generations to come.

Addressing this serious topic in an entertaining, yet informative way, Shapter, and Rasmussen educate the viewer on the ins and outs of a business many are so infatuated with.  In comparing music of today with songs of the past there is a humorous scene when radio personality/comedian Charlie Hodge interviewed what looked like  teenage girls after an Ashlee Simpson concert.  He asked them if her songs inspired them to do anything and in a giggly tone they responded “no!”  Despite there being a lack of musical inspiration for today’s youth, Before the Music Dies offers a silver lining to the nasty storm the current music industry has created.  Shapter says the goal of this movie is three fold; to first wake up the audience and go below the surface of the music industry.  The other is to inspire musicians and show them that in lieu of their frustration there is hope.  Lastly, they want communities to support independent musicians by going to their shows.

keneteph2006-10-24 04.jpg

Before the Music Dies is distributed by B-Side Entertainment which is putting the film on a national screening tour.  The tour will focus on communities where die hard music fans reside.  Steve Waters, a representative from B-Side stated the film will reach audiences that otherwise wouldn’t be reached.  “There will be a music screening for inner city youth in Rhode Island, and also one in Morehouse College,” he stated.  They are also looking for organizations across the nation who would be interested in hosting a screening of the film.  For more information on the film, or if interested in hosting a screening go to www.beforethemusicdies.com, or www.myspace.com/beforethemusicdies.

View Trailer

Copyright 2006 Keneteph Entertainment

Toy Box: Three Faces of Elvis

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 8:36 pm
toybox.jpg

Are you in the market for a hunka hunka burnin’ love? Then I have good news, and bad news. The bad news is that I’m not available. The good news is that the next best thing in the form of not one, not two, but THREE Elvis figures from Mcfarlane are.

Mcfarlane has had the Elvis license for awhile now, and started with the figure that’s still my favorite, the 68 Comeback Tour version. Since then, they’ve produced 5 more versions: Rockabilly, Las Vegas, New York City, Jailhouse Rock and Blue Hawaii. This new boxed set is a re-release of versions 4, 5 and 6, all in one handy package, and is exclusive to Spencer’s stores.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop me a line at mwc@mwctoys.com or hit my other website at http://www.mwctoys.com. On to the review!

“Elvis – 1956. 1957 and 1961”

toybox_102406_1a.jpg

The box lists these by the year of his appearance, but the first is the New York City appearance version, the second is his look in the film Jailhouse Rock, and the third is his appearance in the film Blue Hawaii. For a guy that wasn’t much of an actor, he sure did star in an awful lot of films.

toybox_102406_1c.jpg
toybox_102406_1b.jpg

Packaging – ***
Boxes are always nice, because they store easily for MIBBers, and can be used to display the toys a little better than cardbacks. It’s not a collector friendly box, unless you’re really masochistic, because there’s a ton of twisties and tape. However, it does show off the figures well, and does a nice job looking good on the shelf.

toybox_102406_2.jpg

Sculpting – Jailhouse ****; NYC ***1/2; Blue Hawaii **1/2
There are major differences between these three head sculpts, although the period of time they cover is fairly short in Elvis’ career.

toybox_102406_3b.jpg

Of the three, Jailhouse Rock is easily my favorite. They’ve captured his face and expression so well it’s scary, and the detail work on areas like his teeth and tongue is outstanding. Going with closed eyes is always a risky venture, since so much of a person’s personality comes from their eyes, but they pulled it off beautifully here. The sculpted pose is also perfect, going with a trademark dance move from the film that’s both dynamic and cool.

toybox_102406_3a.jpg

Next on the list is the 1956 gold lame outfit version. Here, the head sculpt is extremely good, but not quite as perfect. It’s definitely Elvis, right down to the pouty lips, but he’s a little less expressive this time. The detail work on his costume is fantastic, espeically the ruffles and contours of the shirt and suit. Again, the pose selected is a classic, and fits the character perfectly. This is critical of course, since these figures have very little articulation. The pose they sculpt you is the pose you get.

toybox_102406_3c.jpg

Finally, there’s Blue Hawaii. Now, it’s a little tough to separate the issues with the sculpt from the issues with the paint. This is one of those cases where the sculpt may be getting unfairly abused by a less than stellar paint job, and it’s always hard to tell. But of the three, this face is the farthest from the Elvis likeness. The lips are much thinner than the other two, and the nose is longer and narrower. The body sculpt is still the usual excellent McToys work, and the pose is another nice dynamic choice, expressing the energy and flamboyance of the singer. But without the outfit and base, some folks might have a tough time picking this out as Elvis.

Paint – Jailhouse, NYC ***1/2; Blue Hawaii **1/2
On some of these figures, great piant improves great sculpts. On others, eh, not so much.

toybox_102406_4a.jpg

Again Jailhouse Rock is my favorite. The bold black and white color scheme looks great on the shelf, and they’ve done a good job with the thin lines and dotted seams of the black denim. I do wish that the white lines of the shirt wrapped all the way around (although I can’t be positive that they should), and there are a few stray marks here and there. But the face paint is excellent on this version, and the details generally clean and sharp.

toybox_102406_5a.jpg

Next favorite again is the 1956 New York City appearance version. Are we noticing a trend here? This is a very colorful version of Elvis, with lots of gold and silver. These are traditionally tough colors to do with a consistent application, with no thin spots or other colors showing through. They do a pretty good job, although it’s not quite perfect. The gold is a little inconsistent in thickness and coverage in some spots, but it’s not enough to hurt the figure in a major way.

Again, his face paint is excellent, especially the subtle difference in color between the lips and skin on his face. There’s a little bit of clumpiness to the skin tone, but again, it’s quite minor.

toybox_102406_5b.jpg

Finally, there’s Blue Hawaii. Here, the face paint is the big let down. The eyebrows don’t follow the sculpted lines well at all, and instead are pointed downward at an odd angle. The skin tone itself has more issues with clumpiness on the face, neck and arms, and isn’t as clean and consistent as the other two.

The costume itself is fairly good, although I was left with a pretty obvious mark on the white pants from the ukelele. I suspect a better paint job woud have done wonders for this particular likeness of Elvis, but that’s lost with this application.

Articulation – Jailhouse, Blue Hawaii **; NYC *1/2
If you’re thinking uber-articulation, you aren’t thinking about this line up. These are supposed to be little statues, cheaper than the high end resin stuff, but with a similar level of quality. What they aren’t is *action* figures. If you understand and have no issue with this going in, then this category won’t mean much to you.

Each figure has very basic articulation – cut neck, cut shoulders, cut waist. A couple also sport cut wrists, to assist in getting just the right hand pose to hold an accessory. But the articulation that’s here is designed to do one thing and one thing only – get the figure in a single, good looking dynamic pose and stay there.

The gold lame version gets a lower score than the other two not because of less articulation, but because mine has a huge gap at the left shoulder that I couldn’t correct. This kind of quality issue really detracts from the overall appearance of the figure.

Accessories – ***
Each figure comes with a base, and perhaps one or two more goodies depending on the version.

toybox_102406_4c.jpg

The NYC Appearance version has the best looking base of the three, with a great backdrop of the poster art for the appearance suspended between two columns, and a base designed like a stage. He also comes with the microphone and stand, which is a separate piece and can be held in his right hand.

toybox_102406_4b.jpg

Blue Hawaii has a base with the Elvis name cut into the front, and a nifty sandy beach top. Behind him is a cardboard backer with the Blue Hawaii logo, but this backer is a tad on the small side, not even reaching the top of his head. There are two small pegs that are used to attach the backer to the base, and you’ll find these on the underside. There’s also a separate surf board with fits into two sculpted notches in the base. There’s a lai of flowers for around his neck, and there’s the ukelele which is removable if you want to try hard enough, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

toybox_102406_5c.jpg

Jailhouse Rock has a base shaped like an album, with two sections of jail cell and a name plate that attach to the side. Again, there’s a small pin in a bag on the underside of the base that you can use to affix the top of the name plate to the top of the one section of cell.

Fun Factor – *1/2
If you’re looking for an Elvis figure for your son to use in his karate tourniments with G.I. Joe, this ain’t him. Figures like this are the Hummels of our age.

Value – ***
At around $12 – $13, these are a solid value on the current market. The cool bases add to the value of course, and even having a couple accessories is a big plus.

Things to Watch Out For:
Not a thing, really. If you pick them out in person, you might want to watch for bad paint, particularly on Blue Hawaii, and any joint gapping like I had with NYC, but things should be pretty consistent otherwise.

Overall – Jailhouse, NYC ***1/2; Blue Hawaii **1/2
The quality varies between the three figures, and there’s no doubt that the Jailhouse and New York City versions have better sculpts and paint. Still, for the big fan of the King, these are a great addition to the collection. Where else can you get six different versions of Elvis, all in the same scale and style, except from Mcfarlane? And grabbing this exclusive three pack means you save a few bucks as well.

Where to Buy:
This three pack is an exclusive to Spencers, but you can snag some of the singles online:

CornerStoreComics has the singles of Jailhouse and Blue Hawaii for around $13 each, but don’t have the boxed set listed.

Amazing Toyz is likewise only selling singles, including Jailhouse, at around $13 each.

Clark Toys has him at $15, but the other two are sold out.

Related Links:
I previously reviewed the Jailhouse Rock figure, as well as the 68 Comeback Special version.

Trailer Park: Can You Handle A Lot Of Dick?

Filed under: Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 8:38 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…And Over Here

He was right.

You do have expectations when someone tells you that you’re about to have one on one time with Andy Dick. Impropriety, boorishness and obnoxiousness are all things that spring eternal when you only have public perception to go off of.

True, if you’re doing your due diligence you can see that not all of Andy’s past can be written off to superfluous exaggerations that can be easily erased. He’s deserved a lot of it.

However, the roast for William Shatner has been a watershed in Andy’s recent past with regard to what the power of the written word can do to a person. A writer for the New York Post’s notorious Page Six gossip column detailed an out-of-control Andy that “groped” “tried to kiss” and “proclaimed his love for her” before finally “urinating in front of the horrified journalist.” It’s hard to defend one’s self against something like this but even though Andy goes on to explain what happened below, his language befitting his defense; it really is Andy’s suggestion to investigate the writer’s personal blog that opened my eyes to something genuinely pathetic.

The woman who supposed herself to be horrified by this whole situation has turned her audio of the situation into comedy and even employs her friends to “act out” the transcript in what I can only assume is supposed to be something amusing, funny even.

It isn’t.

It’s embarrassing. The woman makes a mocks of her own stupidity in thinking it would be hilarious to get all her cronies on a stage and make something out of a drunken moment that, even if true, is more sad and personal than anything else. This isn’t so much about exploiting this moment for whatever it’s worth but it’s a glaring reflection of this woman as a professional. Jayson Blair she’s not but it’s a shame to know that a woman who has such an impressive resume of popular periodicals she’s written for treats the profession of a writer, the very thing she touts as being so important to her, with as much regard as a vampire would give to a fattened sow.

Now, while the above incident stokes some of Andy’s emotional embers, we had to break this interview up over two days only because we had to stop after he vented regarding what happened that night, Andy was perhaps one of the most engaging interview subjects I’ve had the pleasure to talk to this year. His blend of honesty and irreverence makes him vulnerable, to be sure, but it’s a rarity.

You’ve got to give it up for a guy who helped push Ben Stiller into the pop cultural zeitgeist, who assisted a Kid in The Hall to make one of the better sitcoms ever produced by NBC and made an honest living over on ABC for so many years. It’s hard not to give thanks for a guy who works so well within the fabric of comedy and still finds the strength to fight the market forces that would rather see an obnoxious version of a persona he is trying to shed. True, public incidents have threatened to chip away at what he’s built over these years but it’s his tenaciousness that’s going to keep him around for a long time.

Watch for Andy Dick’s directorial debut this winter when DANNY ROANE: FIRST TIME DIRECTOR comes to theaters and as it lands on DVD. I caught up with Andy just as he was talking to someone other than me.

ACT I

CHRISTOPHER STIPP: What are you working on?

ANDY DICK: We’re writing a pilot and [the people I’m working with] have a lot of questions.

CS: What’s the pilot for if I could ask?

DICK: Comedy Central. I’m writing it longhand and they have to translate my hieroglyphics to the computer.

CS: Is it really that bad?

DICK: Yeah, because I think faster than I write.

CS: I know when you talked with Howard Stern last week regarding how well you’re doing since rehab are you finding your thoughts are coming to you quicker, cleaner?

DICK: Yup, oh yeah. Hell yes.

I bounce back surprisingly fast but it’s not like I’m shoting up heroin in a drug den or passed out on a big, black whore in a downtown LA crack house. Hey, I’m not sayin’ I’m too good for that. I’ve just never been invited to a good crack house.

CS: And this brings up a great point: is it odd to have so many people, the public, know so much about your personal life?

DICK: Yeah, that was probably a bad move on my part.

I know a lot of people in the industry with bigger demons than me, but you would never know it because they do a good job of keeping it under wraps. They do and their team does. My team, Team Dick, threw in the towel years ago, and it wasn’t really a towel to begin with. It was more of a cum rag.

Hollywood is riddled with addicts of all colors: drug addicts, sex addicts, gambling addicts, perverts, freaks and weirdoes. And I’m still talking about Team Dick, which of course I’m not only the president but I’m also a member. You know I’m just kidding, except for the cum rag part.

CS: And it seems like when you were talking with Howard last week that the relationship you’re forging with your son is helping you a great deal.

DICK: He’s a shining light in my life. He’s really a good kid.

CS: And was he there during the infamous Shatner roast?

DICK: He was in the audience.

CS: And for those not in the know about what was alleged in Page Six about what happened following the roast how did the events get so blown out of proportion?

DICK: Well, what do you think happened?

CS: From what I read it said you had openly urinated on the floor.

DICK: No, no, no. That’s such a lie. That girl came into my dressing room uninvited.

She’s a non-working stand-up comic; an unfunny, self-proclaimed, stand-up comic looking like a ravenous wolverine hunting for material.

She saw an easy target, his name was Andy Dick, and she forced her way into my dressing room past my friends. She’s cute so she was able to charm her way in, sit in the main chair in the room and hold court with the rest of my friends where she wowed everyone with her fake cuteness, her saccharine sweet smile, and the cunty way about her.

She then, after partying with us, drinking, having fun, doing whatever with my friends, and then announced that she is doing an article”¦she’s a Page Six reporter. And then, when I heard that, I said, “Oh, you gotta help me out over there. They’re so mean. They’re constantly raking me over the coals. You can see we’re just having fun, we all are, we’re laughing, we’re having fun.” She’s laughing, she’s having fun, she’s flirting with my guy friends, she’s pretty much slutting her way around my dressing room, like I said, holding court with all my guy friends.

I’m trying to explain to her, “You’ve got to help me. You can see I’m not doing drugs, we’re all drinking. You’ve got to write something. You can see I’m a nice guy.” I was really trying to toot my own horn and prove that I was nice. I went into the bathroom, which is over towards the door and around the corner, the toilet’s way around the corner, you can’t even see the door from where she was sitting, let alone the toilet. I left the door open and as I’m peeing I say out loud, “I’m leaving the door open so that you know I’m not doing drugs in here. That’s how important this is that you write something nice about me.”

So, even my best efforts to show, to appear that I’m doing well, which I wasn’t at my best, I was drinking, and by that point I was probably even half-crocked, she turned that into that I peed on her, you say I peed on the floor, I didn’t pee on the floor, I peed in the toilet, with the door open, where no one could see so that she could tell that I wasn’t doing any kind of drugs because I wasn’t.

If I ever see her now that I haven’t been drinking and I have my wits more about me, if I ever run into her again I would kick her in the cunt if I didn’t think it would ruin my shine. And that’s a quote from Michael O’Donoghue from Saturday Night Live when he was upset about being cut out of a cast and crew picture.

You can see I’m a little angry.

CS: And rightfully so.

DICK: Thank you, I agree.

One girl, single-handedly, one comic, non-working, un-funny, because I’ve listened to some of her stuff on MySpace, one comic almost single-handedly took me out at the knees and it did major major damage.

Now, I didn’t need any help to figure out I needed to sober up. I was taking a break, I had just finished months before the roast, Less Than Perfect got cancelled, and I was taking what I call a mini-vacation. I was drinking, taking a vacation, and I knew I was going to sober up before I started working on the Comedy Central pilot. I didn’t need any help from this girl. I can take myself down to my own bottom.

CS: Well, why do people like her exist to perpetuate disinformation?

DICK: Everyone loves to read about someone else who’s doing horribly. It makes them feel better. Even I do. It’s very hard for me but I do not read the tabloids. They’re right in front of my face when I’m buying something at Whole Foods, and I just do not pick them up. I want to, I want to see that weird picture of Nicole Ritchie running on the beach and she’s got folds of skin”¦it’s right there on the cover, you can’t get away from it. It’s so unfair but I’ve seen other pictures where she doesn’t have the cellulite. Which one is the untouched picture?

It’s so creepy but people love to read and hear about other people doing horribly. But in this particular case this woman, because I have people that report back to me from New York City, who have seen her live on stage at an open mic type of situation where she’s not getting paid, talks about me and, pretty much, takes her little story, expands upon it, and turns it into a little one woman show.

She’s just a fuckin’ bitch is what she is. She’s just a true, downright fucking needy desperate little whore bitch. And you can print that.

She’s a horrible person and those people are out there. She SOLD her shit, probably for 50 bucks, to Howard. And that’s why I was so mad at Howard that he would take that and he would do that. He would play it on the air and it’s like I wish I had a mini tape recorder so I could record, just a little bit, of Howard and his girlfriend having sex. I bet that would be really funny. But, I wouldn’t do that.

I would love to be able and record one one conversation that witch has had with her ex-boyfriend or her mother or herself when she’s talking into the mirror: “Who’s the cuntiest of them all?” We could play that on the radio for everyone to hear. It’s like, leave me alone. I don’t go after you and your pathetic life don’t go after me and my pathetic life. I can get to a place where things are pretty pathetic, I don’t need any help getting there”¦having it being spread all over the airwaves like bad Smuckers jam on moldy Wonder Bread. I ain’t milquetoast or middle of the road white bread, baby.

CS: Any way for retribution or a retraction”¦

DICK: There’s too much stuff out there”¦It’s impossible because it starts with the seed of truth. What am I going to do, hire lawyers to sue her? There’s just no point. That just keeps it alive, and then suddenly she has a career based on me trying to sue her. It’s a vicious circle. It just gives it more and more power. I’ve already given her too much power in this interview. I’m done. She’s dead to me. That’s the last you’ll hear about her except when I go to jail for kicking her in her dried-up, barren, rancid, smelly cunt.

[Andy laughs]

ACT II

DICK: Let’s do this”¦

CS: Let’s talk DANNY ROANE: FIRST TIME DIRECTOR.

DICK: What do you want to know?

CS: Well, it looks like your first foray into making your own film.

DICK: Yup, I wrote it, I raised my own money by going to the bank and taking it out my account, produced it, directed it, cast it, used all my friends in it and sold it to Lions Gate.

CS: Were you the one involved in pitching the movie to Lions Gate?

DICK: No pitch. I made the movie; shot it, directed it, edited it, had it all done and I just had to show them the final product. There was no studio involved. The movie was done and I showed it to a bunch of people. And then Think Films”¦You’ve heard of Think Films?

CS: Yes.

DICK: Think Films, they did THE ARISTOCRATS, they wanted to buy it, Lions Gate wanted to buy it, and a few other companies wanted to buy it, and I chose Lions Gate just because I just”¦they offered more money and I was in a movie, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, I was in that and it’s a Lions Gate movie and so I just wanted to stay in bed with them, so to speak. I’m about to go pitch them a movie now, the normal way. Where you pitch it and then write it and develop it and I’m doing that next week.

CS: Were you at any kind of disadvantage when you made DANNY ROANE with regard to having to coordinate the schedules of the people I see that are in it, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Maura Tierney, etc”¦

DICK: There were a lot of roadblocks and obstacles but I got through all of them. There are just tons and tons. There were so many that a normal person would just quit and stop but I had a great producer, Marshall Cook, who, every time I wanted to quit, would say, “Let’s just keep going.” We pushed through and pushed through.

We only shot for 12 days.

CS: Really?

DICK: Yeah, we had some pick-up shots throughout the year and then we edited, we edited for a good 8 months, on and off, because I used 5 different editors, at different times, then the Avids were set up in my house and we really just did it on a shoestring budget and by the skin of our teeth.

CS: A lot of people have to go back and do re-shoots”¦Anything you thought you captured the first time and then it just didn’t happen to capture the way you wanted?

DICK: No, I have a lot of disappointments, but that’s how it is with any artist: “It could’ve been better.”

Could’ve been better but everything I’ve done in my life could have been done better. But, it’s a great great great movie and”¦could’ve done better.

CS: So you still want to make a second feature?

DICK: Oh yeah, this next one I am pitching”¦I’m going to write it, direct it and star in it as well. I want do one a year like Woody Allen. I love it. I love the process. It’s just like a painting; you constantly want to paint over it and repaint it and make it better. It’s like when I first learned how to do oil painting and I painted a picture and it was so beautiful but I kept tweaking it to the point where it was an ugly mass of globby crap. You can’t do that. It’s too easy to overwork something.

CS: That’s a great thing you’ve said because some of the greatest authors of literature, when they were still alive and had a chance to edit subsequent editions of their work, tweaked and revising. Is there a point where you can’t stop yourself or do you have to say, “This is as good as it’s going to be”?

DICK: I guess”¦that’s the most important part of director’s vision: just to know when to stop. Just to know when to say, “This movie is done. It’s as good as it can get,”

For what I shot, and the amount of money I had, DANNY ROANE is as good as it can be or I wouldn’t have stopped. I edited my little heart out till I said this movie isn’t going to get any better for what it is and for what I have shot. I can keep going back to add a little more, edit a little more but I can’t because I don’t have the money. You just have to stop. And that’s when the director becomes the artist. He has to make that creative decision. “Ok, now we’re done folks.”

And I’m not even really done because I have to take out a lot of the music that’s in it because I only paid for festival rights and now that it’s going to be a real movie”¦it’s going to be another $100,000, I found out, to buy the songs so I have to have friends write songs, I have to write songs, I need to find cool indie bands that don’t have publishing deals yet because I don’t have $100,000 in my pocket to pay for all the great songs I picked out. Everything from Ween, Tom Waits to Nick Drake. I just don’t have the money.

CS: Does that change the vibe of the film? When you’ve obviously scored it in your head”¦

DICK: Of course”¦My goal is to make it even better, of course. I’m not going to cheapen it. I’m going to find songs that, in my head, make it better, obviously. I’m not setting out to make it crappier.

I’m going to take my time”¦really sift through lots of music that people are giving me. I’m going to find the right songs. I’m going to have a kick-ass soundtrack and it’s going to be better than the original one because the original music was a lot of afterthought, “Oh, by the way, we need music.” And I quickly gathered all my favorite songs, not worrying right then and there how much it was going to cost me.

Now, it’s time to worry about that.

CS: And when is DANNY ROANE going to come out?

Hopefully, sometime next year. Beginning of next year. January, February, something like that, on DVD. We might have a small theatrical opening, New York, LA.

CS: Excellent. And now, I hate to switch gears so fast, but because I know you don’t have that long I’d like to know more about The Shit Show you did on Sirius.

DICK: Oh good. Now THAT’S something we can talk about at length because that’s happening right now.

I’m actually in negotiations with both Sirius and XM so it’s kind of like DANNY ROANE where I was talking to Think Films and talking to Lions Gate.

I have a relationship with Howard Stern and he”¦we already did a pilot episode [on Sirius] that was an hour long, and that was two Tuesdays ago, at 10 o’clock at night or something like that. And it went really well and they were trying to make a deal with me but the money is so low, it’s laughable.

And I called XM and said, because I had been doing some interviews on their stations, “Would you guys like me to a do a show for you?” Because I had so much fun doing the show [on Sirius], it was so easy, and they kind of sweetened the pot a bit”¦they said, “Well, we’ll set up a studio in your house.” And I’m like if I have a studio in my house I wouldn’t mind doing a daily show which means, of course, more money, more fun and it could just be every night at like 10 o’clock from 10 to midnight. I think it should be from 11 to 1 because a lot of people go to bed between the hours of 11 to 1 so they could listen to it as they go to bed so I’m the last thing that they hear and they can dream about me all night.

[I laugh]

CS: And what kind of content?

DICK: It’s hardcore.

I use it as a platform. It’s almost like therapy for me. I just basically”¦it’s a music show, one musical guest, and a big one, like we have the Flaming Lips lined up, the lead singer from the Flaming Lips, we’ve got Isaac from Modest Mouse, we’ve got people all lined up to do the show, Alanis Morissette, Dave Grohl, these are all the people that we’re going after, who are also my friends. Jack Black from Tenacious D, Jack and Kyle, both of them, and all of them always have an album to promote.

It’s hardcore but it’s fun. We’re going to say the word “shit” we’re going to say the word “fuck,” because that’s the way I talk. The show has three segments: sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. And I basically talk with this person, it’s kind of like absolving your sins, we’ll top each other’s stories. “Oh, you did that? Here’s what I did this one time”¦” And we just talk about things we’ve done in the past and either how we either regret them or how we’re apologetic about it”¦it’s an amends like in the 12-step program. There’s a step in there called making amends where you talk about things you’ve done in the past. You go to that person and if there’s an apology owed you make that apology.

I have people call in and one segment is “Andy Dick Owes You A Formal Apology” and there’s plenty of people who call in who say “You know what you did to my girlfriend” or “You know what happened one night ten years ago” and I either corroborate the story and give them a formal apology that is pre-taped, I just insert their name, so that’s kind of a joke, but it’s good to just clear, on a very mundane, base, level”¦it clears my past. I don’t see the person eye-to-eye but I feel good about it. When I did the show I just felt real good. I must have had 10 callers call in on that segment alone.

For the most part the time runs out really fast, I never want it to end, and the whole time the musician is acoustically playing background music and by the end we talk about what’s coming up for them and then they play one or two songs from their album. They can play covers. It’s really an awesome show.

CS: It seems, if I can say it, like a real un-Andy Dick from what people would probably expect”¦

DICK: Yeah, it’s EXACTLY what they don’t expect but it’s exactly who I am and who I’ve been for years. It’s just showing another facet of this sweet, precious diamond called Dick.

[I laugh again]

It’s just another facet. It’s just an untapped market that no one knows because I’ve always hung out with musicians. Most of my friends are musicians. I don’t have many actor friends. Most of my friends are musicians and writers and then a few directors but I don’t really have a lot of actor friends, I have a handful. I might have some shows where I bring on actor friends. I was just hanging out with Natasha Lyonne and I said, “You should be on the show.” Even though it’s a music show I might bring her on because she knows bands, that’s what I could do, because actors always like to hang out with musicians and vise-versa.

CS: It seems lo-key”¦

DICK: It’s totally lo-key and not publicized. No one really knows about it. You ask me when and where I don’t even know. The times change. I don’t even know what fuckin’ satellite station it’s going to be on but I really enjoy myself. Since I’ve done hundreds and thousands of talk shows in my 20 years in doing this business professionally, I’ve done so many, that it comes naturally to me. It’s just talking on the radio and it feels so freeing kind of like taking all of your clothes off and running down the beach; to be able and go on the airwaves and just not have a clamp on my tongue. I don’t have to cater to anybody. I can say and be whatever I want. I can talk about ANYTHING and that feels REALLY good because I am so trained like a little flea in a flea circus who is underneath a glass dome. I can only jump up so high. And then you remove that glass and I am just starting to get my sea legs in this format.

I found myself tentative to use the “f” word but that only lasts 5 or 10 minutes and then I was on a roll, I was just going nuts. Then it was hard for me to go back, I was doing interviews, normal interviews, I was on Loveline shortly after that and they not only had to bleep me because I used the “f” word accidentally, but they cut my mic off for like 3, 4 or 5 minutes as a punishment. And I’m like, “You’re not punishing me. I don’t care if you cut my mic off, you’re punishing the listening audience because they can’t hear me now.” So, yeah, they cut my mic off and so Dr. Drew and Stryker were talking while I was in the corner with the dunce cap on my head”¦because I said the “f” word.

So, it’s hard to go back and forth a little bit but it’s just a skill I’m going to have to hone.

CS: And people expect a certain kind of “Dickness,” if I may say so, and”¦

DICK: Yeah! They expect a certain vulgarity, a certain clowny goofiness but, to be honest with you, my roots are in grounded subtlety. My comedy roots really, believe it or not, are in grounded, subtle, almost sweet, and precious, comedy moments that are very real. Like Bob Newhart, Shelley Berman, Mike Nichols and Elaine May. I was trained at Second City and ImprovOlympic where the motto is, “Truth in Comedy.” The comedy there was very grounded in reality.

I was just recording an episode of the Simpsons yesterday, playing myself. They said to me”¦I just have one line”¦and I just basically am Andy Dick trying to fit into the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and my line is, “Oh, I’m blue collar, I’m totally blue collar, my dad owns a shovel.” And I did it just like that. Really quiet. And they went, “Um, ok. Bigger! You can’t be too big in a cartoon.” And I’m like, “Ok. I’m blue collar. I’m TOTALLY blue collar, my dad owns a SHOVEL!”

They’re like, “Really Andy Dick it up! Andy Dick it up! Bigger!”

“I’M BLUE COLLAR. I’M TOTALLY BLUE COLLAR, MY DAD OWNS A SHOVEL!”

And they’re like, “We love it.” What happens is the media, the people, the producers, the directors, the industry, the town, the audience, pushes you, pushes you, pushes you to be bigger, bigger, bigger. It’s up to the actor or the artist to say, “You know what? This is all you’re getting. Because this is how I want to be. This is how I want the character to be. This is all you’re getting.”

And that’s why, a lot of the times, the big actors are so great”¦they’re so subtle. But sometimes it’s just because being big or being excitable is not in their repertoire. They’re just too cool for school. But, other times, it’s because they’re great actors and they’re making a conscious choice to keep it real and keep it subtle. Once “the guys upstairs” see that you can do the big stuff they don’t want you to be subtle. They just want you to be big, loud and goofy.

I was watching Robin Williams last night on Leno. He started off funny and manic and he got more and more manic until, by the end, he was screaming so much and so loud that he popped his throat. You could hear that he hurt his vocal chords.

CS: God”¦

DICK: That’s what happens. The audience laughs at your manic-ness and they’re going to stop laughing unless you up the ante and go even more crazy and that’s a trap we fall into as comedians. We’re so desperate to get that laugh that we’ll just keep screaming louder, dancing harder and faster until we’re sweating and panting with blisters on our feet and vocal chords. Yeah, it’s a problem that I have.

I want to please people so bad, and I want to get that laugh, that I keep pushing myself but I prefer the quieter, subtler, sweeter moments.

I prefer the movie SIDEWAYS. I prefer the movie LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. I saw SIDEWAYS 10 times. I’ve seen LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE 3 times. I walked out of ANCHORMAN. I walked out on WEDDING CRASHERS. Don’t tell anybody, though, because the same producers produced EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. I am not a big fan of that kind of comedy. That’s something you don’t know about me. You wouldn’t think that. You think the exact opposite. It’s part of my psychoses.

CS: Seeing how your best work really came through in NewsRadio, The Ben Stiller Show, The Andy Dick show on MTV, works that allowed you to control whether you needed to be more subdued or more energetic depending on the situation, are you really going to try and stick with this mantra that “This is my art. You can take it or leave it” and not succumb to the pressures for you to “Dick it up”?

DICK: Yeah, I’m trying.

I’ve been trying and I’m going to continue to try and I think I’m just getting better at it as I get older because I’m 40 but I think the way that it’s really going to work is I’m going to have to do my own stuff. And that’s what DANNY ROANE is all about”¦even DANNY ROANE is a little crazy but there is a lot of subtlety in DANNY ROANE but I can’t, all of a sudden, just bring it all down so much”¦I have to ease people, spoon feed them a little bit, ease them back into”¦EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH was that for me, to a point.

In fact, I read a review for EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH where one of the critics said, “And then Andy Dick as Lon,” and in parenthesis, “(not manic for once.)” In parenthesis! I’ve got to get myself out of those fucking parenthesis.

CS: Thank you so much for your time.

DICK: Fuck you.

##

##

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/24/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:40 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Go watch the first four minutes of Borat. Is very funny. (Thingamabob)
  • And they say advertising lies… It seems beauty is in the eye of the Photoshop filter. (Thingamabob)
  • Taking Congress back, one Jedi at a time. (Thingamabob)
  • In celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, how about a classic tune about a man and his Duckie? (Thingamabob)
  • Lewis Black on the Reality TV Writers strike… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

Party Favors: Of Mouse And Man

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:39 am
partyfavors1.jpg

ORLANDO – Why do parents insist on bringing kids to Disney World? Are they gluttons for punishment? Or are they merely sadists that enjoy ruining vacations for everyone else?

Disney wants us to think we’re going to “the happiest place on Earth.” But after you cleared the turnstiles, you’ve entered the world’s largest a K-Mart.  If ever there was a land where parents want to beat their kids, it’s the Magic Kingdom. The cast members should wear a pin declaring, “Can I hold your purse while you shut up your brat?”

If your child isn’t 40 inches high, don’t bring them to Orlando. Why haul a kid to Florida that can’t get on the E ticket rides? I can’t stand having to watch 36 inch kids whine about why they can’t ride Space Mountain. They whine and cry longer than the ride – including the walk through the concourse. Worse is idiot parents that haven’t a clue how tall their kids are. They take them halfway through the line only to see junior not measure up at the entrance. I get to experience their kid screaming at the gate demanding a chance to die in the dark. Remembering when thinning the herd was a positive part of child rearing?

The 30 inch high kid is the perfect height to ride my knee when they dart around the park trying to make a break for Donald Duck’s arms. Instead of being able to enjoy the beauty of my surrounds, most of my time I have to look down to make sure that I don’t stomp a tyke or two. Amazingly enough, it becomes my problem when I break their kid’s nose. How am I supposed to enjoy myself with a constant fear of being carted away in cuffs and facing a million dollar lawsuit? What is so wrong with keeping kids on a leash? And remember to pay extra for the muzzle.

If the height thing is a little too tough for you to figure out with your child, here’s a simple approach: if you have to push your kid in a stroller – don’t go to Disney.

Wanna know what’s slower than a baby being pushed in a stroller? A baby being pushed in a stroller by their grandparents. Some of us have come to a theme park to get on as many rides as humanly possible. The worst part is they clump up and swap “cute grandkid” stories as their paces slows down But the molasses disaster patrol can gunk up any smooth experience. NFL offensive line coaches should visit Orlando to learn the geriatric blocking patterns.

I want to be able to relax and enjoy myself in the land of Mickey Mouse. It costs $67 for a one day pass and another $45 for the park hopper. After taxes I’ve forked out $120 to witness parents berating their kid to stop whining or they’re going back to the hotel. They’re blowing my cool. I paid for fun and instead I’m getting to relive my own childhood trauma trips. I’m going to have to pay a shrink $200 an hour to recover from my vacation.

What really gets these family squabbles going is the huge amount of Disney merchandise that little kids want. Disney World is a huge gift shop interrupted by lines for rides. In the Magic Kingdom only 2 major rides don’t end in giftshops (The Haunted Mansion and Thunder Mountain Railroad). There’s dozens of “gimme” moments to hurdle when it comes to little kids. I don’t get the necessity of Disney to overwhelm us with giftshops. All of Main Street is a giftshop. Who wants to buy large amounts of glassware after getting off a ride? Where are you supposed to put this stuff when it’s time to get on Space Mountain? The obvious answer is to shove it down your kids throat when he won’t zip his yap. But that’s illegal under Florida law.

You really shouldn’t take your kids to Disney World until they’re old enough to drive you to Florida. And if the little ones want to go, just take them to Hooters. They get a rush out of a riding around the table in the arms of a waitress in a tanktop.

TEARS FOR A GLOBE

EPCOT is the saddest place in the universe (outside of A-Rod’s bathroom). The episode of The Simpsons where the family gets stuck in a nightmarish theme park based on EPCOT isn’t a joke. Walt’s dream of a society that pushes the boundaries of science hasn’t merely been abused by the Disney suits. It’s been beaten to death by Walt’s own creation.

Unlike the hustle and bustle that meets you at the gates of the Magic Kingdom, the longest ride at EPCOT is the security shakedown. Can I just ponder what’s the point of merely looking in a purse? If you’re an active terrorist, are you really just going to put your tools of destruction in your Birken Bag?

And it is at the gate that you can immediately tell that Disney is giving up on EPCOT as a vision of the future. The amazing Geodesic Globe has now been defaced with a Mickey Mouse arm and stars strewn across it’s surface.  And the topiary bushes in front of the dome are shaped like characters from Beauty and the Beast. Who needs the future when you can have Disney magic tossed in your face? The buildings of Future World look way too educational for their own good.

The saving grace of EPCOT can be summed up in one word: Booze! Yes, the whole point of going to this theme park is dinner in the World Showcase with real booze from around the world.

The bad part is that it must be a two mile walk to get from the gate to the imported beer and wine. In the Florida heat and humidity, it’s inhumane. When it comes to visions of the future, nothing tops The Jetsons. Did you ever see George and Jane walking to dinner? Why doesn’t Disney have stinking people movers in their recreation of tomorrow? And it seemed like a majority of the people in the park wanted to get to the World Showcase.

Disney needs to convert the Future area to what people want – Land of Booze! Why not give us an exhibit courtesy of Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Aristocrat? And for the ladies, come on down to the lake to see how Cabana Boy mixes up the good stuff.

WHO RUNG IN?

While the new snazzy set on Jeopardy looks great, they need to fix the lights that declare which contestant has buzzed in first. On the long shot, I can barely see the row of thin red lights pop up. My TV set is bigger than a Watchman. Why must Alex and the gang be so secretive in letting us know which of the three is going to belt out the question? Are they hiding it from the terrorists?

BAM!

Will Barry Scott (Mr. Easy-Off Bam!) duke it out with Billy Mays (Kaboom!) for most annoying pitchman that isn’t selling Head On? I’ve already seen one ad with Barry and I already want to throw a Bloomin’ Onion at his head. And what’s up with importing this guy from Australia? Are we lacking annoying goofs in this country? We need immigration reform to protect the future jerks being raised in America.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING FOR?

Will Citibank outsource their phonebank to a part of India that speaks English? What’s the point of calling it customer service if a customer has to call up the UN for a translator to figure out how to get serviced? I can’t even cuss at these folks across the world because they don’t know my kind of swearing. Remember when we were merely pissed off at getting routed around the phone wizard? We just wanted a human voice. And now we’re paying for it since these loser businesses went cheap.

BLOOMIN’ FUN HUM

Hurray for the “Outback Tonight” jingle for the Outback Steakhouse. Enough with just recycling the same classic rock tunes to push your product. Give us the tunes that sell the tasty products!  The jingle is the best new song on the radio this season. Now I’m ready for another Bloomin’ Onion!

HAMMER HURT HER!

Before Dancing With the Stars started the new season, Tom DeLay sent out an email telling his supporters to call up and vote for Sara Evans, the country music star. “We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans,” wrote DeLay. Well a few weeks into the show Evans has filed for divorce and it’s pretty f’n ugly. She’s claiming her husband was a horn dog who didn’t mind sitting around watching porn while his son walked into the room. Plus the guy cheated on her with the nanny. Evan’s husband is now getting word out that she was a bad mother who neglected her kids while dancing for the show. Plus word is spreading that she was boffing Kenny Chesney.

What sort of “good people” is Sara Evans? DeLay was trying to slam Jerry Springer, but it appears that Evans and her husband are running around a stage in Chicago throwing chairs, flashing boobs and being held back by Steve. Thanks to disgraced ex-Congressman DeLay, we’ve once again been fooled into supporting the morally degenerate Showbiz weasels. Maybe Evans isn’t one of those evil Hollywood freaks, but country music is a world of sex freaks and drug abusers.

The fun part is that Kenny Chesney has already said that he didn’t have sex with Sara Evans. “He would NEVER think of her like that,” said a Cheney PR flack. Insert laughter from the bullriders who have their own theory about Kenny and women. If anything could have helped it’s reputation, it would have been to release videotapes. Of course we live in a universe where David Geffen, the gayest man in Hollywood has boffed Marlo Thomas and Cher.

I wonder about the relationship between DeLay and Sara Evans? Maybe the Hammer earned his nickname the old fashioned way? Chesney said that they are merely “good friends” and DeLay used those same words. Hmmmm?

All I need to know right now is that Sara Evans is now responsible for a lot of smut being aired on TV thanks to her disgusting lifestyle. Perhaps DeLay needs to send out an email to America for promoting a pack of pervs, Quit hurtin’ us, Hammer.

BOO!

After crapping out for the past few years, both TCM and AMC have gone overboard on providing monster flicks for this Halloween season.

Contest: Win a Silver Screen Edition Dracula from Sideshow Collectibles!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:01 am

Quick Stop Entertainment, in partnership with Sideshow Collectibles, is giving away a Silver Screen Edition Dracula, courtesy of the fine folks at Sideshow. Don’t miss your chance to win this premium format figure.

Enter the contest!
Email: 
First name: 
Last name: 
Street Address: 
Address Line 2 (if needed): 
City: 
State/Province/Whatever: 
Zip Code/Postal Code: 
Country: 
Birth Month:
Birth Day:
Birth Year:
Subscribe me to the
Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter. (Darn I hate this rule!!!!).

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

All individuals who opt-in to receiving the Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter understand that they will be receiving e-mail newsletters from Sideshow Collectibles, which details their new licenses, upcoming products, monthly giveaways, and guest interviews! Entrants understand and agree to Sideshow Collectibles’ privacy policy, and understand that they may cancel their Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter subscription at anytime. No purchase is necessary to win this contest.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59PM, EST, October 31, 2006.

Important Shipping Information:

All winners agree to pay shipping on any prizes granted by Sideshow Collectibles during any contest or giveaway. Specific details can be found in our contest terms section. Please read these carefully before entering.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product. All prizes are non-transferable, with no cash redemptions and/or substitutions except at Sponsor’s sole discretion. All international winners will be responsible for any duties, tariffs, taxes or import fees assessed to their prize. Further some countries outside of the U.S. do not have reliable mail services. In the event that a prize has been stolen or mishandled during shipment to an international destination, Sideshow may not be able to replace the specific item. If the winner prefers a specific quicker shipping method, they are responsible to notify us immediately and will also be responsible to cover the additional costs if any.

Delivery time & Restrictions:

All continental US orders are shipped FedEx ground service. Because FedEx cannot provide tracking numbers for P.O. Boxes, Sideshow Collectibles will no longer ship to a P.O. Box. Please provide your street address or your shipment will be delayed. For FedEx Ground deliveries, please allow up to 6 business days for delivery from the date your order is shipped. Please visit the Sideshow Collectibles website for restrictions on International Shipping.

Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress