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CRYSTAL COVE – What is the greatest showbiz honor? Oscar? Emmy? Nobel Prize? Peabody? None of them compare to the eternal glory of being the celebrity guest star on a Scooby-Doo series.

This honor was recently bestowed upon Cinema Insomnia‘s host Mr. Lobo in the excellent Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated series. “Beware The Beast From Below” featured the iconic image of Mr. Lobo in the role of Professor Emmanuel Raffalo. Back in the ’70s, all the great stars made guest shots with the meddling kids and their dog including Jerry Reed, Don Adams, Batman and the Harlem Globetrotters.

Mr. Lobo over the last few years has elevated him to the top of the movie host game. He made headlines for his unexpected feud with pro wrestler Chris Jericho. Y2J had a slur-rific meltdown at the host during a Q&A session at Sacramento Horror Film Festival. But mostly it’s Cinema Insomnia that has helped Mr. Lobo stick out. He had the honor to have Bob Wilkins guest star on his show. Wilkins’ Creature Features was legendary in the San Francisco Bay area. The episode had Bob and Mr. Lobo sitting in rocking chairs at a graveyard. A fitting place for the duo to chat.

While some show talk about fan support, Cinema Insomnia upcoming 10th season is the result of fans contributing to the production budget through Kickstarter. Overdrive airs on 30 stations around the country. For those people outside those areas or unable to stay up past 9 p.m., Mr. Lobo’s created the Cinema Insomnia channel on Youtube. Unlike the old Youtube that forced you to break things up into 10 minute segments, a complete two hour episode requires only a single click of the play button. Now you can enjoy all the misunderstood movies with the help of Mr. Lobo and the potted Miss Mittens.

With the Halloween season around the corner, the Party Favors dropped an email to Mr. Lobo to find out about the holiday season, the new Cinema Insomnia and Scooby-Doo stardom.

Party Favors: What does Mr. Lobo do for Halloween? Is it a working holiday for you?

Mr. Lobo: Every Halloween I wear the same costume I wear everyday–MR. LOBO. We host film shows-This year SACRAMENTO HORROR FILM FESTIVAL at the COLONIAL and AN EVENING WITH THE MUNSTERS at the BAL THEATER in SAN LEANDRO are two big ones. I’ve been taping new episodes of CIENMA INSOMNIA so I have less time for live events this year. I have roles in some very misunderstood movies-This year I am playing myself in a film called A HARD DAYS NIGHTMARE and do voice-overs for low budget Indie films, one called THE BOYS and another is called FANG BANG. As a legal reverend and Saint in the Church Of Ed Wood I’ll probably solemnize a wedding for a spooky hipster couple or two.

Yes, It’s is a working Holiday and since I eat better around Halloween, we like to play with and waste food for fun. We like to mutilate gourd-like squash of the genus Cucurbita and let them rot on our front stoop. Not having dental insurance, this is the time of year Mr. Lobo likes to prepare and eat Carmel Apples–to remove any loose are damaged teeth or inferior dental work. It’s always a hoot to make embarrassing or cumbersome costumes for my children out of recyclables.

And Finally, as Mr. Lobo does every “Devil’s Night”, we soap windows, TP the CVS, smash and destroy early Christmas decorations at major department stores, crank call my mother, and set fire to television stations and sponsors that have wronged Mr. Lobo or CINEMA INSOMNIA in the past 10 years.
Since it’s my most prosperous season, we also like to hit the sales the Day After Halloween to do my yearly shopping for -Well-Everything…clothes, kitchen wares, pantry items, birthday-X-mas-Valentines-Mothers Day-bereavement gifts! It’s the only time I can buy amenities and necessities that suit Mr. Lobo’s demanding tastes and at deep discounts.

Party Favors: What’s the most frightening non-horror film ever made?

Mr. Lobo: Pretty Woman. A movie starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts about whores made by Disney. Fortunately they cut the animated gerbil sequence.

Party Favors: Do you think there’s anything misunderstood about “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star?” Could Cinema Insomnia handle that film or is it truly bad.

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo has not seen this film nor has any plans to. Mr. Lobo is sure they had good intentions. The producers of that film probably wanted to make something appropriate for the times and their best behavioral scientists and accountants told them that this is what audiences want. Hypothetically, if the rest of the film has as few laughs as the trailer…then maybe Mr. Lobo could provide some comic relief.

Party Favors: Has the addition of digital sub-stations like RTN and Antenna made more opportunities for movie hosts or is it about the same?

Mr. Lobo: More hosts are being seen that is for sure…so I suppose it is an opportunity–But a different model than in the past. Many hosts on substations are “pay to play”. Several RTV hosts have purchased time locally on their affiliates and got the bonus of national exposure. Elvira is on two and sometimes three channels in the same market which makes me think she’s also “pay to play”-but she can afford it! This can work if you can sell ads or have a good sponsor or aggressive Syndicator. Syndicators can sometime “buy you on” in a particular market if they think it will bring bigger ad opportunities. My main network AMGTV lets me keep some of the time to sell ads-but I don’t have a sales team…I couldn’t survive week to week on ad sales. I use most of my spots to push Cinema Insomnia DVDs or sell them to my distributor Apprehensive Films.
*Ahem*…mrloboshop.com. What was the Question???

Party Favors: How is the 10th season coming together?

Mr. Lobo: It’s been fun getting back into a real studio. In the past couple years we’ve taped a show here and there–mostly Halloween Specials to pad out our original syndication package. We’re editing several episodes now…and will create 26 new ones. The first is scheduled to air Halloween Weekend. Ed Wood’s lost disaster-piece Venus Flytrap that features a playful jab at another late night film show Mystery Science Theater.

Party Favors: Have you ever found out how much it would cost to run “Creature From the Black Lagoon” on your show?

Mr. Lobo: There is nothing Misunderstood about that one. It’s just plain good. The Creature still holds up. Much of what I like about CINEMA INSOMNIA is I get to be Hamburger Helper. Mr. Lobo needs the movies and they need Mr. Lobo. As far as getting a Universal Classic for broadcast and possible subsequent video release–the red tape is astounding…It would cost much more than what we bring in and would not be viable. But perhaps if I get on a larger network with a film library like what Turner Classic Movies has. Mr. Lobo has presented THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON Live at theaters several times and to get movies like that from Universal, MGM, or whoever for a one time performance in a theater costs in the ballpark 300 bucks and/or a percentage of the door.

Party Favors: What’s your most popular episode?

Mr. Lobo: STARCRASH never did much for us before the “Cease and Desist”. After we pulled it from our rotation STARCRASH became legendary…followed by GIGANTIS, BIGFOOT, our live pledge drive for KTEH–DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS, IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT ASTRONAUTS, and our syndication premiere NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD…they all have their peaks at times…

Party Favors: What was it like to do the Halloween special with Bob Wilkins?

Mr. Lobo: Bob called and said he was coming to Sacramento to do my show with me and I needed to pick him up from the bus station. I thought he was kidding! But sure enough…there he was big as life stepping off that Greyhound from Reno. I wrote 11 pages of script that was quickly discarded…we ad libbed and improv’d the whole thing. We just played in the cemetery for 2 hours. That was his last appearance on TV. He was too sick after that…but we did lots of conventions and screenings together. He was a great man who taught me so much. I miss him.

Party Favors: Is there a major following of your Plan 9 from Outer Space – Hardware Wars double bill?

Mr. Lobo: Not as much as there should be! I think the George Lucas puppet in that episode is too scary! HARDWARE WARS mastermind Ernie Fosselius also directed the CINEMA INSOMNIA episodes for PLAN 9, EEGAH! NIGHTMARE IN BLOOD, and most of the upcoming WAR OF THE PLANETS episode.

??Party Favors: How many of your episodes are now available on youtube?

Mr. Lobo: Currently there are 25 full length 2 hour shows and my host wraps from 2 others.

Party Favors: Is it a joy to not have people watching 10 parts of an episode on youtube?

Mr. Lobo: At least this way I can pretend they’re watching the whole thing. I’m not wondering : “What happened in part 6-did I say something wrong?”

Party Favors: Is it nice to be able send people a link when they ask where to watch you?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo’s CINEMA INSOMNIA has been on Bittorent, Mevio, Livestream, Amazon, etc. YouTube however seems the most universal so far…people know it. They understand it. They can watch it on their various devices and boxes.

Party Favors: Has your popularity soared since your cameo on Scooby-Doo?

Mr. Lobo: You have to already know it’s supposed to be me or supposedly supposed to be me-so I don’t know if my popularity has exactly soared. Not like when pro-wrestler Chris Jericho called me a “fag” and I was afraid to leave my house for two weeks.

Party Favors: Did you know that Professor Emmanuel Raffalo was going to look like you?

Mr. Lobo: A friend who works for Cartoon Network tipped me off that something maybe happening. I had no idea it was a Scooby-Doo villain until people kept telling me…You’re in Scooby-Doo! You’re in Scooby-Doo!??Party Favors: Have you spoken with Jeff Bennett to uncover his technique for playing your voice?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo in true WWE fashion threatened to beat his candy-kisser senseless! I’ll do my own voice next time thankyouverymuch.

Party Favors: Do you now feel like a Harlem Globetrotter? Who was your favorite guest star on the Scooby-Doo Movies?

Mr. Lobo: Always…I feel like them all the time. Like when the Globetrotters were bionic and they had the Shmoo and that button that called Godzilla. Comedian Don Knotts and singer Jerry Reed were probably the two most memorable guest stars off hand. Oh, and Tim Conway.
Party Favors: Are little kids throwing stuff at you for trying to kill Scooby?

Mr. Lobo: Nope. Just 45 year old fanboys.

Party Favors: If you could kill one Scooby-Doo castmember, which one would it be and how would you do it?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo would curb stomp Scrappy-Doo and that Tibetan kid Flim-Flam.

Party Favors: If the Great Pumpkin could give you one wish, what would you want this Halloween?

Mr. Lobo: I would wish for this interview to be over so I can go back to being the greatest horror host in the world…

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature Lethal Ladies Collection packs three tales of female heat in the Philippines. In the middle of the Kung Fu craze of the ’70s, Roger Corman realized he needed an angle to have an impact in the market place. TNT Jackson had two big hooks by casting Jeannie Bell as the title star. They found a female version of Black Belt Jones with slick martial arts moves. But the bigger hook is Topless Kung Fu. You need any other reason to buy this DVD? Bell arrives in Hong Kong in search of her brother’s killers. The journey starts off on a bad foot when she goes to the extremely bad part of the city. Seems her brother wasn’t hanging with a posh crowd. She unwittingly befriends and beds Stan Shaw (Rocky and The Great Santini) even though he’s her brother’s executioner. Bell’s fighting technique is more convincing than Hulk Hogan. She moves like a dancer instead of a killer. She’s breaks a man’s arm at a right angle. Bell got her big break in several Beverly Hillbillies episodes. Good thing Jethro didn’t get to rough with her.

Firecracker is a remake of TNT Jackson with Jillian Kesner, the winner of the Black Belt Olympics and star of Kung Fu Cannibals. Cirio H. Santiago remains in the director’s chair. This time it’s her sister’s disappearance that brings her to the Philippines. The local Mafia want Kesner to vanish like her sister. She crosses paths with Kung Fu master Darby Hinton (Malibu Express). Turns out the guy knows her sister. He really gets to know Kesner during a love scene that involves cutting off clothes with various blades. So you get a kinky fetish along with topless Kung Fu when during a fight her bra gets snipped off. Why wasn’t Firecracker Oscar nominated? They reused Shogun Assassin‘s synth score to pump up the action although Kesner needs little help when she gets her feet in motion. This is better than Gymkata.

Too Hot to Handle stars Cheri Caffaro and isn’t based off the script from TNT Jackson. She’s best known for making her Ginger films. Too Hot is better than her trilogy. She’s an assassin that has not problems getting dirty to make her targets exposed. She snuffs one guy using his own S&M toys. She just ignores the safeword. Fans of cinematic cockfighting will get a thrill over a visit to the Manilla Roosterdome. The bird violence is cut with Cheri naked in bed. Would Stephen Colbert approve of such an editing technique? The ending seals the movie as the only Cheri movie you ever need to own in your collection. Cheri contributes an audio commentary. She recaps her time in Manilla. Lethal Ladies Collection is a threesome for the eyes. The transfers look great. Next up on the release schedule is the Double Feature of Streets and Angel in Red. Streets has Christina Applegate as a teen hooker being chased by a nutso cop. This is only available from Shoutfactorystore.com.

MGM MOD SQUAD

More goodies from the AIP collection are finally seeing their way onto home video thanks to the MGM’s Manufacture on Demand (MOD) program. So many things that would have been perfect for the Midnite Movies series can now see the light of day. The big thing to remember about the DVD-Rs is that they don’t play well on computer drives, but look great on dedicated DVD players.

The Savage Seven is another one of the classic AIP biker flicks made in the late ’60s. A group of outlaws led by Adam Roarke tangle with an Indian tribe. This isn’t an all out stomping since Adam lusts for Joanna Frank (Say Anything), a member of the tribe. Her brother disapproves of the Roarke. What’s interesting is this film was produced by none other than Dick Clark. He hosted the clean cut American Bandstand while overseeing a biker fight. Penny Marshall has a bit part. Director Richard Rush (The Stuntman) made this right after The Psych-Out.

Act of Vengeance is like an exploitation Lifetime movie. A group of women in a support group realize they were raped by the same guy wearing a hockey mask. Instead of just commiserating, the ladies use their self-defense training to become an attack unit so they can hunt down their attacker. They also cruise around looking for other potential attackers so they can turn the tables. Will their form of justice have an impact or get them in trouble with the law? They just don’t make movies like this anymore. It’s the female version of Death Wish. This was released as Rape Squad.

Sugar Hill pits zombies against mobsters in a Blaxtion era hit. This shouldn’t be confused with the Wesley Snipes film. Marki Bey’s boyfriend gets whacked by the Mafia after refusing to pay for protection. Instead of going to the police, Bey seeks help from Baron Samedi. He’s the voodoo lord of the dead. In exchange for her soul, Bey control a zombie army that rises from their graves. They are on a mission to eat underworld brains. Bey looks so tempting when dishing out the evil revenge. This deserves a double feature with Scream Blacula Scream.

The Christine Jorgensen Story is the famous tale of how a man became the most famous woman in America thanks to a visit to Sweden. John Hansen plays the man who goes under the knife to reveal his real identity. “Did the surgeon’s knife make me a woman or a freak?” the poster asks. There was no Logo or Discover Health channel back in 1970 to give numerous documentaries about the subject. So viewers had to depend on a melodrama about a little boy who felt more comfortable in his mother’s clothes and make up than on the pitcher’s mound. It’s great exploitation art with a heart.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Fedrerico Fellini’s The Clowns is the great director’s semi-documentary look at the painted circus performers. He made the project for RAI TV in Italy, but it was also run in theaters around the world. Nino Rota’s circus inspired music finally gets to linger around the big top. The film is split into three parts. It opens with a little kid watching the Circus tent get set up next to his home. We’re taken inside the beehive and the performances. The middle is a history of the great clowns of Europe (non-politicians). Fellini gets into the act as he appears on camera. The final part is a clown’s funeral. They don’t pull the coffin out of the back of a clown car. But it mixes the humor with the sadness. The 1080p image brings out the colors and makeup details of the various clowns. You see how much goes into making their faces and costumes pop for a live audience. It’s less of a documentary and more a reflection on what clowns meant to Fellini.

DVD SHELF

Barney Miller: The Complete Series finally brings together all the seasons of the great cop sitcom. Sony was seriously dragging their feet only putting out three seasons in 7 years. Shout! Factory has booked all eight seasons along with choice bonus features. This means I’m no longer sentenced to hearing my father asking if Season Four has been released. He will be too busy watching all 170 episodes including the original pilot with the really bad name of “The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller.” That would have taken up a whole page in TV guide back in 1974. The series follows the odd cases of a detective squad in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village. Since this was before the area was cleaned up, there’s plenty of comical scummy crooks dragging into the holding cell. Hal Linden’s Barney Miller looks like a real police captain from an episode of Police Story so there’s a touch of normalcy in the precinct. During the series run, there were great detectives working the streets. Fish (Abe Vigoda) is the elderly detective hoping his body will hold out till retirement. Vigoda at this point was best known for his work in The Godfather. Wojciehowicz (Max Gail) is the young face in the room. He’s plucky and ready to go. Harris (Ron Glass) is the sophisticated member of the squad. He looks good in plainclothes. Yemana (Jack Soo) makes a mess and bad coffee. Amanguale (Gregory Sierra) gets too tied into the job. Deputy Inspector Lugar (James Gregory) drives everyone nuts with his “in my day” stories. During the course of the show there were personal changes which allowed Dietrich (Steve Landesberg) and Levitt (Ron Carey) to join the force. This ranks with Car 54 Where Are You? as classic cop comedy if you don’t count CHiPs. The bonus features include interviews with Max Gail, Abe Vigoda and Hal Linden. The big plus is the first season of Fish. This was Vigoda’s spin-off series where he retires from the force only to discover his wife wants to have foster kids live with him. Todd Bridges was the break out star of the kids. There’s no news if season 2 of Fish will be coming out on DVD. The public can’t be denied their Abe Vigoda. Speaking of Abe, he’s a great clip from Barney Miller:

CatDog, Season 1, Part 1 is the pet version of The Odd Couple spliced with The Human Centipede. How did a cat and a dog get joined together at their torsos? Don’t ask. But the fact that these two beasts are as different as different can be. The cat (Tom Kenny) is sophisticated. The dog (Jim Cummings) is a dog. They have a wall mouse (Carlos Alazraqui) that drives cat nuts and entertains dog. The boxset has the first 10 episodes. What’s amazing is how these two halves became animated superstars. Kenny is beloved around the globe as SpongeBob SquarePants. Cummings is currently the voices of Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger. Alazraqui got a face job as one of the cops on Reno 911. Billy West (Ren and Stimpy) also voiced a character. The big delight for me is SNL‘s Laraine Newman as Swedish twin cats that’s Cat’s love interest.

Jem and the Holograms: The Truly Outrageous Complete Series! finally gets all three seasons of the ’80s animated series into one boxset. Hasbro created the series when they needed a female show to balance out the boy zone that was G.I. Joe and He-Man. Instead of going for a pure action show, they combined the things little girls with pop music, cool outfits and love into the core of the show. Jerrica Benton’s father dies leaving her half of his record company a home for foster children. While in the past the record company had donated a nice chunk of money to the house, the co-owner of the label needs to dedicate most of the cash to launching his latest hit group: The Misfits. Don’t get excited. It’s not Glenn Danzig’s old band. This is an all girl group that sounds like Lene Lovich calmed down. Jerrica isn’t thrilled. What she discovers is that her father also left her Synergy, a computer that can wrap holograms around people by using microprojcting earrings. She transforms herself and friends into a band that can rival the Misfits. Why can’t Jerrica just be Jem? Like Tori Spelling, she wants to make it on her own talent and not just cause she owns the record company. The Misfits aren’t happy. There’s a lot of back stabbing including burning down the Foster Home. Things get more outrageous in the third season when the Stingers arrive. They don’t like Jem or the Misfits. What band will rule supreme? Seeing how this cartoon is based on a toy line, it’s good to know that the bonus features include the old doll commercials. Each disc has a jukebox feature to play all the music videos at once. The documentary introduces views to the faces behind the voices. If you’re wondering what to get that special lady in your life that’s in her mid-30s, this might work better than a dozen roses.

Dennis the Menace: Season Three is the end of the line for Joseph Kearns as Mr. Wilson. Unlike other actors who get into a contract dispute or flee for a spinoff. He died of a cerebral hemorrhage during the end of the season. Since the flustered neighbor was an important character, the producers couldn’t just keep going with Mr. Wilson supposedly on a vacation trip to Hong Kong. They hired Gale Gordon (The Lucy Show) to play Mr. Wilson’s brother. The good news is that Gale looks like the Mr. Wilson in the comic strip with his mustache and physique. This season also marks the last time that Dennis (Jay North) would wear overalls. Kearns has a few great moments in his finale. “Trouble from Mars” squeezes his head into a space helmet. “Haunted House” gets him wrapped into a real estate plan that spooked. “Mr. Wilson’s Inheritance” is strange as he talks about the passing of an aunt that might have left him a fortune. “The Man Next Door” was the last time Kearns played the role. He swears a door to door salesman is a burglar. “John Wilson’s Cushion” introduces Gale Gordon as part of the cast. “Dennis and the Witch Doctor” starts a rumor that Mr. Wilson practices voodoo. This might have been true. Season Four (the final season) is scheduled for January 10, 2012.

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Bonanza: The Official Second Season, Volume 2 brings more excitement from the Cartwright family. “Bank Run” has Hoss (Dan Blocker) and Little Joe (Michael Landon) rob a bank in order to keep the money from being stolen by the bank’s owner. “The Fugitive” stars James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) as a dead man. Hoss kills the town drunk in “Vengeance.” Was it rally an accident? Oddly enough the actor playing the drunk’s name is Keith Richards. This episode aired years before the Rolling Stones arrived in America. But Keith’s reputation preceded them. “The Dark Gate” lets James Coburn flip out as a bad guy. Harry Dean Stanton gets a small role. “The Gift” presents Martin Landau (Mission: Impossible). “The Infernal Machine” schemes George Kennedy in a horseless carriage racket. Because Congress mandated it, Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) is Sam Hill in “Sam Hill.”

Gunsmoke: The Fifth Season, Volume 1 is from the time when the series was still only a half an hour long. When it was syndicated, the retitled the show as Marshal Dillon. That’s how it currently runs on ME-TV. This boxset has the first 20 episodes. “Target” makes John Carradine upset that his son wants to elope with a gypsy woman. “Kitty’s Injury” gets the bar owner tossed by her horse. The local sod busters have no desire to help her. Don’t they want free booze if they get her to Doc? “Horse Deal” has a tandem pair of hustlers working the area. “Johnny Red” has a man show up claiming to be a dead Civil War vet. Trouble is he’s really an outlaw. “Annie Oakley” is not about the legendary female shooter. This is a woman who might have killed her husband. “Odd Man Out” returns the spouse violence when Elisha Cook Jr. claims his wife ran away. Trouble is a neighbor swears they saw him digging a hole. “Miguel’s Daughter” turns Simon Oakland (Kolchak) into a vengeful dad wanting to snuff the guys who are troubling his daughter. “False Witness” bears Wayne Rogers (M*A*S*H). Only 15 and a half boxsets to go until the complete Gunsmoke is released on DVD.

The Last Circus is the extreme cult film of the month. This is not your normal low budget cheapo film about clowns out of control. This looks much better than Shakes the Clown. A sad clown arrives at a Spanish circus in 1973 at the end of Franco’s time. He’s got a lot of bad memories from his childhood. He falls in love with a female acrobat, but she’s married to the happy clown. What keeps the smile on the happy clown’s face is beating her up. The sad clown doesn’t get happy from this fact. He wants to take on the happy clown. The film is gloriously vicious and insane. This shall reenforce anyone’s fear of clowns. Spring for the Blu-ray to really feel the grandeur. You can choose between the Spanish soundtrack and the English dub. This is the perfect double feature with Fellini’s The Clowns

Your Highness infuriates me. What is the point of offering an unrated version if you continue to obscure the nudity? When I click on the Unrated version, I expect to at least see Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel dry humping. How about Portman opening Zooey’s chastity belt only using her tongue? That’s at least obscured nudity worth watching. That would have made this a must own on Blu-ray or an Imax print. After all my talks in film school about the sacred nature of the Unrated cut, it seems that Danny McBride and David Gordon Green weren’t listening. Maybe if they delivered the goods, this movie wouldn’t be bound for Razzie glory.

Drinking Made Easy: Season 1 puts Zane Lamprey on the road to explore America’s fun watering holes. He’s joined by comics Steve McKenna and Marc Ryan as they get sloshed on camera more times than Anthony Bourdain and Dave Attell combined. There’s 24 episodes of them hitting numerous cities including Salt Lake City. Turns out there’s more than Sprite in the land of the Jazz. It’s impossible to come up with a drinking game since no matter what you pick, you’ll be blotto before the episode is over. HDNet lets these guys get away with plenty of fun. The big bonus feature is a special on their Drinking Made Easy Comedy Tour. There haven’t been this many drunks on stage since the Rat Pack broke up.

To Be Twenty is a brilliant disturbed film from 1978. There are actually two movies in the DVD box. The first is the theatrical version about two hot girls (Gloria Guida and Lilli Carati). This plays like a normal young ladies having causing risque fun around Rome. This has all the right notes for a Cinemax After Dark classic. Gloria and Lilli get caught making out and are run out of town by the locals. This leads to their adventures in teasing men, being hookers and chased by the cops. They’re a troublesome twosome in this fluffy fun. Then you watch Fernando Di Leo’s director’s cut. It seems like the same film except the opening has changed. Turns out that was the ending. And it’s a bit more extreme than being chased out of town. The movie goes from a sex comedy to a snuff film in the final reel. It’s a incredibly uncomfortable jolt. For those into freaky Eurocore, this movie is a must watch. If you just want a good bad girls on the road movie, just watch the theatrical version. “Twenty Years for a Massacre” is a 30 minute featurette about the harsh ending.

Casper, The Friendly Ghost: The Complete Collection 1945-63 contains all 81 cartoons made for the theater and TV. Casper is best known as the ghost that just hates scaring people. He merely wants to be a nice undead spirit. But the other ghosts hate his goodie goodie ways. They won’t let him stay in their haunted houses. The early cartoons are a bit rough, but the image improves over the course of the years. The TV cartoons reflect the comic books with the addition of Wendy the Good Witch, cousin Spooky and Nightmare the Ghostly Horse. Casper’s a fun character for the kids around Halloween since he reminds us that not every undead creature wants to steal your soul or eat your brains.

The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Volume Three – Iron Man Unleashed and The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Volume Four – Thor’s Last Stand contain the last 13 episodes of the first season of the animated series. .Judging from the upcoming live action movie, this animated series is much more entertaining. Volume Three brings the Masters of Evil together. Can they destroy Avengers’ Mansion? Kang the Conqueror arrives for three episodes. He wants to destroy Captain America and takeover the Earth. Big plans for a guy with a big nickname. Volume Four takes the superheroes to Asgard to battle Loki. Can they really survive in such a place? How can you beat up a bunch of Gods?

Page One: Inside the New York Times is a fly on the wall look at what goes on inside the nation’s most prestigious newspaper. This is a tough time for newspapers as readership drops with people getting their articles “free” from the internet. How much does a newspaper have to evolve to stay profitable. How do they compete in an information world where people don’t want to ready about today during tomorrow’s breakfast? Can a newspaper be considered a necessary media or a quaint throwback to what grandma used to read? Who still works at newspapers after the massive layoffs over the last decade? Is the iPad really going to solve things? Does anyone stop the presses anymore for breaking news? Has Rupert Murdoch hacked their phones and computers? That question doesn’t get asked since the film is older than the News Corp scandal. The film had a warm response at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham. I read a lot of the responses that were posted online. The bonus features Carl Bernstein on the Real Threat to Newspapers, Emily Bell on Journalism, Sarah Ellison on Murdoch and a lot of reactions to the film. Supposedly the New York Times wasn’t too happy about it so that means New York Post readers must be prepared to love it.

The Real L Word: Season Two gives more views into the real lives of lesbians that enjoy being followed by camera crews. This is so much better to watch than The Real Housewives of New Jersey. For those that missed the first season, don’t worry about carryover lives. Turns out only the out of control Whitney Moseley and the tipsy Romi Klinger are back. The new women represent various positions from the freshly open to the couple wanting a kid. While it’s a reality show, there’s plenty of drama with Whitney and her ladies. Unlike those all talk – no rock National Geographic Channel sex shows, these ladies don’t mind being exhibitionists for the cameras. Since the series airs on Showtime, nobody is eager to prune down the action.

TRANSYLVANIA – The pumpkins, costumes and candy corns have arrived in the stores. It’s spooky season! The most exciting news is that the official spooksperson of pre-Halloween time is back. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark has revived Movie Macabre for THiS Network (see your local digital sub-station TV guide). She’s serving up beastly cinema classics. However she’s more than a late night horror hostess. She’s a movie star. Her second film Elvira’s Haunted Hills receives a Special Enhanced Edition DVD from E One.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills was her homage to the Edgar Allen Poe films starring Vincent Price and directed by Roger Corman. Amongst the comic moments were tributes to House of Usher, Pit and the Pendulum and The Tomb of Ligeia. Since they couldn’t get Vincent Price, Rocky Horror‘s Richard O’Brien took the role. Back in 1851, Elvira cuts through Carpathia to get to Paris for a job as a Can Can dancer. She gets booted from the local hotel. She ends up staying in O’Brien’s castle up on a nearby hill. What horrors await her behind the locked doors?

After my review of Oblivion, director Sam Irvin dropped me an email of thanks. Turns out He’s done plenty in his career including helming Elvira’s Haunted Hills. Along with Oblivion, he directed Oblivion 2: Backlash. He was Co-Executive Producer of Gods and Monsters starring Ian McKellen and Brendan Fraser. Plus he directed all the episodes of Dante’s Cove. In between an earthquake, hurricane and a Kardashian marriage, the Party Favors had a chance to swap questions with director Sam Irvin about his experiences with Elvira on the Romanian locations.

Party Favors: What brought you and Elvira together?

Sam Irvin: I met Cassandra Peterson at a party in Hollywood shortly after my first feature film Guilty As Charged was released. The movie starred Rod Steiger, Heather Graham, Lauren Hutton, and Isaac Hayes, and was a dark horror comedy about a deranged vigilante who kidnaps murderers who’ve escape justice and fries them on his own electric chair in the dungeon under his meat packing plant. To my great delight, Cassandra had seen the movie, loved it, and told me she wanted to work with me someday.

At the time, I was in prep to direct a Showtime movie called Acting On Impluse starring Linda Fiorentino as a scream queen B-movie actress who is accused of killing her sleazy horror movie producer. The movie also starred C. Thomas Howell and Nancy Allen, but was loaded with cameos including Isaac Hayes, Zelda Rubinstein, Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, Brinke Stevens, Dick Sargent (Darren from Bewitched in his last role), Don Most, among others. So, I asked Cassandra to join the cameo line-up as the bouncer at a country-western bar. It was just one scene but she killed it in a big blond Dolly Parton wig (which she borrowed from Darryl Hannah). In the scene, she checks the I.D.’s of Linda Fiorentino, C. Thomas Howell, and Nancy Allen as they enter the bar. Of course, Cassandra — with her training at the Groundlings comedy academy — improvised some hilarious zingers that really punched up the scene. We got along famously and kept in touch, hoping to work more together in the future.

Party Favors: During the shoot of Elvira’s Haunted Hills, did you find yourself confused as to calling her Elvira or Cassandra when she’s in make up?

Sam Irvin: I think if you did not know Cassandra well, you might get confused when she’s in her Elvira drag and call her Elvira — because it is quite a transformation and Elvira looks nothing like Cassandra. But, because I had known Cassandra for several years prior to making the film, I didn’t have that problem. I could mentally block out the get-up and see the real Cassandra peeking out from within. It must seem funny to people around us when I’m talking to Elvira in all her regalia about mundane things like, “Were you able to get an Internet connection from your hotel room?”

Party Favors: Whose idea was it to film in Romania?

Sam Irvin: Cassandra’s relative, Robert Dornhelm, recommended Romania because he was a native of that country. She toured castles and studios there the summer before the film was made.

Party Favors: Elvira’s Haunted Hills pays homage to the Poe films made by Vincent Price and Roger Corman. Did you ever hear from Corman about your film?

Sam Irvin: No, I’ve never heard if Roger saw it. I think he would get a huge kick out of it, though, because both Cassandra and I are nuts about his movies and we threw in every Cormanism we could think of — with heartfelt love and affection.

Party Favors: Did anyone try to rent you his old sets and props from his time with Vincent?

Sam Irvin: I wish those old sets still existed. They were gorgeous. We went to great lengths to recreate them, at least in spirit, if not exact duplications in some cases.

Party Favors: Which of Poe-Corman-Price collaborations is your favorite?

Sam Irvin: No doubt, The Pit and the Pendulum is my hands down favorite — partly because, in addition to Vincent Price, the film also stars the fabulous and wicked Barbara Steele. But I love them all: House of Usher, The Haunted Palace, Tomb of Legeia, Masque of the Red Death, The Raven and Tales of Terror.All of them were seminal influences on me as a kid. I even memorized Vincent Price’s monologue from The Pit and the Pendulum for some school acting presentation and I can still recite it today. Is that geeky, or what?! When I met with Cassandra to possibly direct Elvira’s Haunted Hills, she had no idea just how serious a fan I was of those films and was astounded when I broke into Price’s monologue. Instead of calling security, she offered me the job.

Party Favors: Did you try to get Dick Miller or Jonathan Haze in the film?

Sam Irvin: No, mainly because there weren’t any obvious parts for them and because we had to limit how many people we brought over to Romania — for budgetary reasons. Had we shot the film locally here in L.A., we might very well have thought of some way to wedge them in.

Party Favors: How weird was it going from talking to Richard Chamberlin for the role of Lord Vladimere and ending up with Richard O’Brien? Did the role get altered for Richard O’Brien?

Sam Irvin: The role of Lord Vladimere Hellsubus was designed to be our “Vincent Price” character in Elvira’s Haunted Hills. He was the demented Lord of the castle and he had many afflictions — like super-acute hearing and over-ripe taste buds (traits of Price’s character in House of Usher) and super-sensitive eyes (like Price’s character in Tomb of Ligeia). In fact, we searched everywhere to find the exact style of wrap-around sunglasses Price wore in Tomb of Ligeia. So, when it came to casting that part, we wanted someone who adored Vincent Price as much as we did and who could honor his legacy with a loving send-up. We approached Christopher Lee, Mick Jagger, Tim Curry, and Richard Chamberlain (who is a very close friend of Cassandra’s), but, for various reasons (scheduling conflicts, not enough money being offered, or the part simply didn’t strike a chord), we ended up with the best choice of all: Richard O’Brien. People remember him as Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but not everyone realizes that he wrote Rocky Horror — the Broadway smash and the movie. The libretto, the screenplay, the music, and the lyrics. All that comes from the brilliant mind of Richard O’Brien. And, of course, of all our choices for the role of Vladimere, O’Brien was head-over-heels in love with Vincent Price and knew the Corman films backwards and forwards just like Cassandra and I did. So, there was instant recognition of exactly what we wanted to do and he hammed it up to the hilt, yet took it very seriously and delivered a nuanced and intelligently layered performance. He was absolutely brilliant… and hilarious! I don’t think our other choices would have been as “into it” as O’Brien. We were very lucky.

Party Favors: Is it odd to think that Richard’s now the voice of the dad on Disney’s Phineas and Ferb cartoon?

Sam Irvin: I didn’t even know that! Hilarious!

Party Favors: Who was more famous in Romania: Elvira or The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Sam Irvin: Neither one, really. The phenomenon of both had never caught on in that country. Back in the 1970s and 1980s, Romania was under a dictatorship and communism — so these deliciously perverse influences were not allowed across the border.

Party Favors: If a crew member was caught humming “Time Warp” around O’Brien; did they have to pay a performance royalty?

Sam Irvin: None of our crew — which was entirely Romanian — had ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, so it was not a problem. Our American actors were in awe of O’Brien at first, but soon cozied up and became pals. It’s funny but when you’re with him, he dominates the conversation so much, you never have time to slip in a verse of “Time Warp” or anything else. It’s hard to believe in retrospect — because I am such a huge Rocky Horror fan — but I don’t recall asking him much about it. We were having too much fun with what was happening on our movie to dwell on our past career accomplishments. If the conversation drifted to nostalgia, it was centered on Corman / Price / Poe.

Party Favors: What’s the craft service table like in Romania?

Sam Irvin: Scarce and scary. I’d brought my own peanut M&M’s (my drug-of-choice for afternoon pick-me-ups). I also live on Diet Coke so I had to get them to special order a supply to keep me going.

Party Favors: Did you make a pilgrimage to Dracula’s Castle?

Sam Irvin: We did. To all ten or fifteen of them. Every castle in Romania claims that Vlad Tepes lived there at one point or another. I have a feeling that includes those in which he visited for one night — and some that he never stepped foot in. So, you really have no idea what’s real or tourist-trap myth.

Party Favors: Was it interesting to know that you’re one of the few horror films about Romania that went to Romania and not Universal City?

Sam Irvin: Shocking, isn’t it? I expected the country to be in black-and-white and have Una O’Connor, Dwight Frye, and Maria Ouspenskaya wandering the streets.

Party Favors: What is your favorite memory of the shoot?

Sam Irvin: My favorite memory was walking onto the pit and the pendulum set when it was completed — designed and built by Radu Corciova, our brilliant production designer who also designed my two Oblivion movies which were shot in Romania as well. I felt like bellowing my Vincent Price monologue but was afraid they’d call the men in the white suits to cart me away to some Transylvanian asylum. It brought tears to me eyes, though. It was the culmination of everything I’d grown up adoring.

Party Favors: What is the strangest thing you remember about the production?

Sam Irvin: When we were shooting the opening Transylvanian village scene, the local extras’ wardrobe was not provided by our costume department. They wore their every day clothing and it looked authentically period for 1851. Talk about a “time Warp”!

Party Favors: Does it surprise you that after Elvira found her Next Elvira, she resurrected Movie Macabre? Can she really retire?

Sam Irvin: No one other than Cassandra could ever be Elvira — and I think the public agrees with me. She’s got to keep the flame alive herself. There’s just no substitute!

Party Favors: Did you figure out what’s Cassandra/Elvira’s secret for remaining so youthful? Did you find any PAs missing their blood?

Sam Irvin: It is insane how youthful Cassandra remains. I have snooped around her house to see if she’s got an aging portrait hidden in some closet — like Dorian Gray. We just got together last week to record the audio commentary and interviews for this new DVD reissue of the movie. We made the film eleven years ago and she hasn’t aged a single day! The same cannot be said of me. Damn her! I don’t know how she does it.

Party Favors: Do you know what’s extra in the upcoming “Enhanced Edition?”

Sam Irvin: Yes! The first DVD release included a “Making of” featurette, a photo gallery, and an interview with Richard O’Brien. For this new “Enhance Edition,” we’ve added an audio commentary with Cassandra, Mary Scheer (of MadTV and iCarly fame — who played Vladimere’s wife in our film), Mary Jo Smith (who played Zou Zou, Elvira’s French maid), Scott Atkinson (who played Dr. Bradley with the “George Sanders” accent), and me. All five of us also did new on-camera interviews which have been cut together into a dishy 30-minute bonus featurette called: “Transylvania or Bust: Elvira & Company Tell All!” Plus, we’ve also added hilarious outtakes. It’s truly a treasure trove for Elvira fans, to say the least. We’re so jazzed and proud of it.

Party Favors: What concerned you the most about getting to make Oblivion and it’s sequel at the same time? Do you think more low budget films should do this instead of waiting for the original film to come out?

Sam Irvin: We made both Oblivion films together and I shot them as if it was one long movie. When we shot scenes in the town saloon, for instance, we shot all the saloon scenes for both films. The entire schedule was arranged that way. It certainly made economic sense — and I am surprised more low-budget films are not made this way. Big budget franchises are doing this more frequently — like the last two Harry Potter movies and Bill Condon’s upcoming Twilight two-parter. I applied the same formula to my Dante’s Cove television series. We shot each entire season as if it was one long movie, shooting out each set, one by one.

Party Favors: What was it like to work with Julie Newmar on Oblivion and Oblivion 2?

Sam Irvin: Julie Newmar was the cat’s meow. A very charming lady, very serious about her work, and extremely gracious to let us send-up her Catwoman legacy.

Party Favors: Did George Takei recount his time with John Wayne on Green Berets?

Sam Irvin: No, but he had a few choices things to say about a certain cast member on Star Trek — which shall not be repeated here. George is a HILARIOUS man! And, like me, we’re both out and proud gay men, with long term partners, so we have all that in common.

Party Favors: You were a producer on Gods and Monsters so you’ve paid tribute to Boris Karloff and Vincent Price; when will you make a project dedicated to Peter Lorre?

Sam Irvin: I adore Peter Lorre and I’ve always thought it would be great to have a character in one of my comedy projects do an impersonation of Lorre the way that Scott Aktinson imitated George Sanders for Elvira’s Haunted Hills. Wouldn’t that be fun? Fingers crossed it will happen one day. On the more serious side, Peter Lorre led such a fascinating life. I devoured Stephen D. Youngkin’s biography The Lost One: A Life of Peter Lorre, and there’s a movie or two in there just begging to be made.

MGM MOD

Time to salivate with more choice items finally getting released from MGM’s vault thanks to their Manufacture on Demand program. They’re getting out several American International Pictures titles that didn’t get a proper release through the Midnite Movies series.

Jules Verne’s Master of the World was AIP’s attempt to make a Disney live-action movie like 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas. Instead of a submarine, we’re given a futuristic airship piloted by Captain Robur (Vincent Price). He has created new materials to go beyond the lame balloons of his day. When he lands inside a crater, the US government sends John Strock (Charles Bronson) to investigate. He hitches a ride with balloonist Prudent (Henry Hull), his daughter (Mary Webster) and her fiancé (David Franklin). The Captain plans on bring piece on Earthy by taking out all the world’s major military targets. It’s a fun thrill to see Price acting with the stars of Death Wish and Werewolf of London. There’s plenty of model effects for people who can’t stand CGI.

The Glory Stompers dares to let us see Casey Kasem as a biker. That’s right, the voice of Shaggy and America’s Top 40 wears gang colors and a beard. On top of that, he’s part of Dennis Hopper’s gang. He’s got a long distance dedication from his fist to your face! Hopper is extremely sinister when he locks eyes on Chris Noel at a biker shindig. He wants her bad. But she’s Jody McCrea’s old lady. Did you just laugh? Can you not believe that Deadhead from Beach Party is an outlaw biker? Actually he’s still a clean cut guy. He sees the good that can come from being in a biker gang. He likes the freedom of the road. He doesn’t seem to be in it for the drugs and beatings. Well Hopper and Casey stomp McCrea’s ass to the point where they declare him dead. They plot to drag his old lady down to Mexico and sell her into slavery. Casey is evil! The other bikers wants a piece of him and Dennis. This make a great start to a triple feature with The Wild Angels and Easy Rider.

The Incredible Melting Man scared me as a kid. Not the movie itself, but the creepy TV ad. What’s a worst feeling than having your flesh drip off you like wax? The credits don’t list the true star on the box: a young Rick Baker. Whatever you think of the plot, his work on making astronaut Steve West melt on screen can’t be matched. Baker makes the film live up to the title. The movie itself is pure low budget horror. It appears NASA was being run out of a series of abandoned warehouses. But there’s plenty of gross out effects as West’s body drips south. Can his terror outlast his flesh? Is there a cure? Director William Sachs would go on to helm the legendary Van Nuys Blvd. The spot the famous cameo in this production is Jonathan Demme (Silence of the Lambs). Why did he do it? Producer Samuel W. Gelfman had also worked on Demme’s Caged Heat.

Hickey and Boggs reunites the stars of I Spy as a pair of broke private eyes working Los Angeles. Bill Cosby and Robert Culp are so messed up that their office is pretty much the nearest dive bar. After a night of boozing, the duo stumble across a gig to find a missing girl. The client claims she’s his girlfriend. The reality is she’s part of a bank robbing gang. The duo keep on the case since there’s a rather healthy reward that’s more than their client’s payday. The big problem for them is the numerous dead bodies piling up in their path. Isabel Sanford (The Jeffersons) pops up. Culp does a fine job directing the action from Walter Hill’s script. Him and Cosby keep up their great chemistry on the big screen.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Dead Cert mixes a British crime flick with a Hammer Horror. An ex-mobster finds a group of mysterious businessmen want his new nightclub. He’s not in the mood to sell so he gives them their whatfors and shows them the door. What the mobster doesn’t know is that the club is on top of a major vampire’s grave. This was the vampires nice way of doing business. Things get messy with the second offer. There’s also plenty of British guys bareknuckle boxing. Ouch. Jason Flemyng of Snatch. is part of the fun. This kinda reminds me of Innocent Blood with the mixture of crime and blood sucking. It’s like a freaky production you’d catch after dark on BBCAmerica. Bonus features include a commentary track from Billy Murray and a few castmates. There’s also a 30 minute documentary about the production. The 1080p picture brings out the darkness and grimy nature of the locations.

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics All-Night Marathon: Vampires, Mummies & Monsters will keep things spooky during this scary season. Lady Frankenstein, The Velvet Vampire, Time Walker and Grotesque will keep you up all night with low budget fears. Lady Frankenstein gets the immediate cool factor for having Joseph Cotten (Citizen Kane) as Dr. Frankenstein. After he brings his monster to life, there’s an industrial accident. His daughter takes over the family business to make her kinda man. The fine folks at Shout! were able to locate missing scenes that were shown in Europe so you can have the option to watch Corman’s cut or the international version. The missing scenes are from video sources. The Velvet Vampire gets instant watch this status since it has Michael Blodgett of Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. He was the California beach boy of his time. This time he and his wife (Sherry Miles) met up with a strange woman (Celeste Yarnell) during an art exhibit. She invites the couple out to her desert estate for the weekend. What they don’t know about their hostess is that she’s not only bi-sexual, but a vampire who likes to watch. She sits behind a security mirror watch the couple in bed before she infiltrates their dreams. Celeste provides a commentary track about her time in the heat with Blodgett.

Time Walker is best known to MST3K fans as Being From Another Planet. It’s cheese-tasitc low budget scares. Right off the bat you can tell they’re cutting corners when they skip b-roll of Egypt for a montage of holiday snapshots of the pyramids. We’re really supposed to believe Ben Murphy (The Gemini Man) is exploring King Tut’s tomb. He comes across an unusual sarcophagus. He has no problem shipping it back to America for further examination. This film saved a lot on the budget by avoiding any sense of reality. They open up a sarcophagus without any protection. Ultimately they discover the mummy is not one of King Tut’s childhood friends. It’s alive and it wants to go home. Actor Kevin Brophy and producer Dimitri Villard sit for an interview. Where is a Gemini Man boxset? The final entry is Grotesque starring Linda Blair (The Exorcist). She goes to visit her dad, a famous movie effects artist. The house is covered in his best masks which aren’t that great. Punks break into the house to rob them, but get a bigger surprise. Can there be a bigger surprise than Linda Blair? This is a fine all night marathon as you sit in the pumpkin patch.

DVD SHELF

Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop covers the stage tour the TV host set up after he was booted off The Tonight Show. After five years of waiting for the cushy gig, things went bad. Jay Leno’s 10 p.m. experiment nearly wrecked the network. NBC didn’t want to lose Leno so Conan was given tens of millions of dollars to go away. He had to stay off TV for six months. But there was nothing against doing live shows. So he got his creative crew and band together for a cross country tour. He hit the stage like a rock god doing a strange mix of music, comedy, confession and barbs at Leno. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop gets all over the place and inside Conan’s head. He’s nervous. He’s exhausted. He’s furious. He’s not drunk. It’s kinda his version of Elvis’ That’s the Way It Is if Elvis had been screwed by Pat Boone over a gig. Eddie Vedder walks onto the stage to do The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” That’s the song your dad keeps calling “Teenage Wasteland.” Jon Hamm sexes it up with a cameo. The odd thought is that Conan might have been able to “save” his Tonight Show gig if he’d been doing live shows all along. Leno is out performing and glad handing. At the end of the tour, Conan got a new show on TBS which led to George Lopez being pushed off the channel. The only bad part is that Conan’s stage success inspired morons to put Charlie Sheen on tour after his feud with CBS.

Secrets In The Walls is another horrifying tale from the world of real estate. Jeri Ryan makes the sad mistake of buying a house at a rate that’s way below market value. How can she get such a deal? Turns out she’s not really buying. She’s merely sub-leasing the space from supernatural evil! Why doesn’t she grab her family and move out at the first sign of demonic actions? Cause you’re stuck with the mortgage. You know how hard it is to sell a house in the economic climate? Try to move one that’s haunted by ghosts that leave bloody nail scrapes on the wall. And it’s not like the bank will foreclose on a house with those issues or give you another mortgage. Jeri’s only hope is to figure out why the ghosts have chosen this house. If she can calm their spirits, maybe they’ll all be good. She should have rented although you can’t get your security deposit back for such messes.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 “Manos” The Hands of Fate – Special Edition is the version the Master has been waiting to buy. Manos has soared up the ranks of Worst Movie Ever Made charts since it debuted on MST3K. The film is a low budget confusion feast. A family gets lost on vacation and finds themselves in the middle of nowhere at a crummy lodge run by Torgo. He’s a misfit with freaky knees. The place is owned by The Master – a demonic love god that wears a robe covered in two giant handprints. It’s just an amazing thing to behold as Joel, Tom Servo and Crow dig right into a film that opens with 10 minutes of a driving scene. What makes this a Special Edition is the unaltered version of the film, the MST3K crew talking about Manos and a documentary about the movie featuring the only person connected to the production that isn’t dead or in witness protection. And that’s not all. There’s entire “Hired!” educational short put together along with a spoof of Jam Handy. This is the ultimate version of Manos.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation – The Eleventh Season is the last season of Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix) as Dr. Raymond Langston. “Shock Waves Part 3” deals with the cliffhanger of Langston getting stabbed by a serial killer. Of course the stabbing isn’t the highlight since Justin Bieber arrives! Can the teen girls next door stop screaming? “Pool Shark” is my favorite since it deals with the shark tank at the Golden Nugget Casino. I’ve gone through the slide in the shark tank. It’s fun, but little did I know that it could be deadly. Holly Madison, Elliot Gould and Method Man show up for the shark attack on Freemont Street. “Blood Moon” goes for the Twilight viewers with Vampires and Werewolves having a convention. No love for zombies? “Sqweegel” gets me squealing for Ann-Margret. “The Two Mrs. Grissons” brings back Willam Petersen as Gil Grissom. But as usual the kids go nuts for “Target of Obsession” since it has more Justin Bieber. The best bonus feature on the boxset is Dita Von Teese Burlesque Performance. There’s always a bonus seeing Dita unwind her talent on the screen.

CSI: Miami – The Ninth Season kills off Eddie Cibrian’s Jesse Cardoza. I’m going to guess his ex-wife had a viewing party that night cause that’s all the tabloids talked about. “Sudden Death” kills a bottle girl at a hot club. All the high rollers are considered suspects. The price of a bottle of cheap vodka at these clubs can give me a heart attack. “”Reality Kills” offs a reality tv star. Sadly this was not a tie-in with the Kardashians go to Miami series. “Match Made in Hell” spoofs Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker. Except this time someone is hooking up millionaires with homicidal maniacs. “Wheels Up” brings death to the roller derby. There needs to be more female roller derby plots on TV. “Caged” has a DOA with MMA implications. Is no 21st century sport safe from being a crime scene in Miami? The bonus features include a focus on the show hitting it’s 200th episode. Who would have imagined David Caruso would stick around for nearly a decade? Perhaps he just can’t leave cause his sunglasses are just too cool?

CSI: NY – The Seventh Season brings big changes to the unit. Melina Kanakaredes left the show after six years and that meant a job opening on the staff. Who could fill the slot of the series that always seems rumored for cancellation? Why it’s Sela Ward (Sisters). Her Jo Danville was a DNA investigator for the FBI. Her attitude is that you’re not a real suspect till the science declares you a guilty bastard. “The 34th Floor” gets her to work fast when she finds a dead body in the crime lab’s office building. She has a good chemistry with Mac Taylor (Gary Sinese). “Shop Till You Drop” has a jerk manager found dead in a department store window. “To What End?” brings a killer clown to Manhattan. “Do Or Die” shows how to make space at a prep school. “Nothing For Something” has Mac’s old partner return. Not Melina, but Peter Fonda (Easy Rider). Always fun to see Fonda when he’s not allowed going nuts about politics. “Wild Ride: On the Set with Peter Fonda” gives glimpses of him with the cast. There’s also a piece about John Larrroquette’s visit to the show.

Thor and Loki Blood Brothers takes the Marvel Knights animation process up another step. Esad Ribic’s artwork takes on a 3-D perspective and subtle motion. His paintings flow across the screen. Robert Rodi’s four-part Loki miniseries is faithfully brought to the screen as it gives Thor’s foster brother a chance to tell his side of the story and get a bit of revenge on Thor. Loki has taken control of Asgard and tosses his enemies in the cells. Now he has to decide if it’s time to execute Thor. David Blair’s voicing of Loki gives the trickster character a hard gravity. This is so much better than that crummy live-action Thor film with Natalie Portman.

Bad Dreams & Visiting Hours – Killer Double Feature is a chilling twosome of hospital based frights from the ’80s. Bad Dreams is about a cult that doesn’t let death get in the way of controlling members. Richard Lynch (Deathsport) heads the Unity Field. They want to truly unify themselves in what’s an “ultimate joining.” Instead of some sort of fun group activity, he douses them with gasoline and lights the room up. Jennifer Rubin (A Woman, Her Men, and Her Futon) survives, but is stuck in a coma for 13 years. She has no memory of the incident. Naturally a psychiatrist helps her remember which also causes the crispy ghost of Lynch to haunt her psych ward. He must have her unify with the rest. Director Andrew Fleming went on to give us The Craft. There’s plenty of bonus features including new interviews with the cast, vintage behind the scenes footage and the original ending with timecode. Visiting Hours lets Michael Ironside (Total Recall) go psycho on Lee Grant (Shampoo) in a hospital. She’s a TV reporter doing a series about a battered woman who killed her abusing husband. She wants it considered justifiable homicide. Ironside thinks she’s wrong and will prove it by beating her to death. He’s got some past issues form it. When he doesn’t kill her during the first attack, he sneaks into the hospital to finish the job. Williams Shatner (Star Trek) is her TV boss. The big bonus is a series of creative TV ads that turn the lights of the hospital building into a skull. These are so spooky, you’ll think twice before getting medical assistance.

Hawaii Five-O: The Eleventh Season brings to an end the era of Danno. Why did James MacArthur split before the final season? His story is that he went on vacation and didn’t feel the need to comeback to the role after a decade. This penultimate season has Jack Lord play Steve McGarrett as the ultimate super cop. While other actors tone down their character, Lord seemed eager to turn McGarrett into an action hero. He’s constantly fighting thugs and dangling off objects. He’s not taking it easy on his stuntmen. “Deadly Courier” brainwashes Danno so he’ll kill McGarrett. You think during one of the takes MacArthur took dead aim at Lord and pulled the trigger? “Death Mask” steals artifacts from King Tut’s tomb. “Stringer” tangles Paul Williams (Smokey and the Bandit) with mobsters. How will the little guy survive? “A Very Personal Matter” puts Cameron Mitchell against a doctor that might have killed his kid with drugs. “The Year of the Horse” sends McGarrett and Danno to Singapore to tackle a heroin ring. Along the way they deal with Barry Bostwick, Victoria Principal and George Lazenby. Finally Jack Lord gets to share the screen with the man that semi-replace Sean Connery as James Bond. There are people who debate how far off the rails Hawaii Five-O went during the final years. But if you’ve been enjoying the ride, the weirdness is an odd treat for the eyes. No date yet for the final season and the arrival of Truck Kealoha. A big aloha to Danno and James MacArthur

Hawaii Five-0: The First Season contains the relaunch of Jack Lord’s legacy. While I’m a hardcore traditionalist, the new cast is fine. Sure they cast Grace Park in the role of the burly Kono. But she did a fine enough job making Boomer a female character on the new Battlestar Galatica. She has the ability to play bigger than she is. Daniel Dae Kim (Lost) remains the connected to the community guy like Detective Chin Ho Kelly. Scott Caan flips around Danno. No longer is he the kid working the hot unit. He’s a guy dealing with a messed up divorce and joint custody. Alex O’Loughlin isn’t a Jack Lord version of Steve McGarrett. He lacks that Holier than Thou attitude of the Lord when busting hoods, pimps and Chinese agents. Which is fine. The original series was 10 minutes longer than the new show. The time cutback appears to be sliced away from the bad guys. This is a shame since watching top notch guest stars go bad is part of the thrill of the original. They do revive Wo Fat, the diabolical foreign agent. In a weird twist of casting, Fat is played by Mark Cacascos, the Chairman on Iron Chef. Now we know what really happened to Mario. There’s a lot of backstory action dominating the scripts which is strange since the original crew didn’t have much of a life outside of work. If McGarrett or Danno ever had a woman in an episode she was either going to die or be busted for running heroin in the stomachs of kittens. There are plenty of bonus features including Grace Park’s Tour of Hawaii. That is the best reason to grab the Blu-ray version of the boxset.

Kojak: Season Two revives the joy that is Telly Savalas. His bald NYPD Detective Lieutenant Theo Kojak quickly became an icon with his lollipop to keep him from smoking. If you ever lose your hair, Telly is an inspiration on how to work the dome. Season 2 has his crack unit busting bad guys including Kevin Dobson and his brother George Savalas (the one that got all the family’s hair). “The Chinatown Murders” opens the season with murders elevating a feud between crime families. Tige Andrews (Mod Squad) gets to play Sgt. Polucci. “Slay Ride” has several convention goers falling to their death. Kojack doesn’t think it’s an accident. Stephen McHattie (Watchman) is drawn into the mystery. “The Best Judge Money Can Buy” packs on the star power with the arrival of Abe Vigoda (Barney Miller). He’s the suspected killer of a judge’s son. How can Fish be evil? Barney Miller: The Complete Series including the first season of Fish arrives October 25. Breaking up is hard to do and Paul Anka might get broken up as an informant with an agenda. “Loser Takes All” scores with Antonio Fargas. Leslie Nielsen gets to play a bad guy with a married girlfriend. “Close Cover Before Killing” torches a building with Erik Estrada (CHiPs) and Alex Rocco feeling the flames. “Acts of Desperate Men” makes Bruno Kirby (Superdad) an revenge fiend. “Night of the Piraeus” has a homicidal stamp collector. Who else should be in the cast except Norman Lloyd! It’s not a real crime until Robert Loggia enters the scene. He does it on “Two-Four-Six for Two Hundred.” “I Want to Report a Dream” predicts Ruth Gordon (Harold and Maude) as a psychic wanting to stop a future murder. Will Kojak believe her vision? No matter what happens, Kojak reminds us to not mess up his dirty version of New York City.

Danny Phantom Season 1 is the Nickelodeon cartoon from the creator of Fairly Odd Parents. Danny Fenton is the son of ghost hunters. Being a pokey kid, he sticks his head inside what’ believed to be a broken Ghost Portal. Well it’s not that busted. His DNA gets twisted to ectoplasm. That makes him half ghost-half boy. Danny uses his new status to be the greatest ghost hunter ever. Although he can’t let his clueless mom and dad know his secret. A lot of well-known actors voice the guest ghosts. “Mystery Meat” has Patricia Heaton (The Middle) as the lunch lady that hunts the school cafeteria. Dat Phan from Last Comic Standing hides on “Parental Bonding.” Twilight‘s Taylor Lautner gets the role of Youngblood on “Teacher of the Year.” Tween girls shouldn’t get so heated since he doesn’t show off his abs. Ron Pearlman (Sons of Anarchy) voices Mr. Lancer in numerous episodes. Chynna Phillips and her husband William “Don’t Call Me Billy Cause There Is a Billy Baldwin in SAG” Baldwin are Kitty and Johnny 13 in “13.” Freddy Rodriguez (Six Feet Under) voices the Mayor in “Public Enemies.” The town is overwhelmed with ghosts. Danny has to stop them. The deep voice of Michael Dorn (Star Trek: NG) powers the Fright Knight on “Fright Night.” Laraine Newman of the original Saturday Night Live also contributes. Who is the most evil of the Johnny’s enemies? How about Vlad – mouthed by Martin Mull (Fernwood 2 Night). He puts a major bounty on Danny’s head for “The Million Dollar Ghost.” Danny Phantom is a cute version of Ghostbusters.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates: Yo Ho, Mateys Away! has seven episodes the latest hit for the Disney Channel. Seems some one has realized that the pirates of Peter Pan were more cooler than the Lost Boys. Wasn’t that the lesson from Hook? The little kid pirates are in competition with Captain Hook for control of the fun contraband on the island. They’re pals with the Croc. Most of the show seems to be set up for musical numbers. There’s even a live action band with a guy who looks like Pawn Stars‘ Chumlee’s brother. The series wins bonus points for casting Adam West (Batman) as the Wise Old Parrot. It somehow also casts Sharon Osbounre as Capt. Hook’s mom. She’s got the perfect nagging mom tone. Little boys gravitate towards the pirate action so it’s a good way to keep them focused in the back of the car. Additional booty in the DVD box includes a 7 song CD and an eye patch.

Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man is a masterpiece of badass cop action. Director Ruggero Deodato is known for Cannibal Holocaust, but he’s not a one hit Italian cinema wonder. Live Like A Cop is the kinda film that would have been made if Clint Eastwood was two actors. Think of this as Starsky and Hutch without a moral compass. Fred (Marc Porel) and Tony (Ray Lovelock) are the ultimate buddy cop pair. They’re plainclothes in sneakers on a motorcycle cruising Rome. They’re part of elite police squad that basically goes after organized crime organizations. What sets them apart from the usual deep cover teams is they have no qualms in breaking the law. They’d rather read a suspect his last rites than his charges. The movie opens with a jaw dropping 10 minute motorcycle chase that trashes the city. While they’re interviewing a suspect’s sister, they have sex with her. They interrupt one crew as they set up for a bank robbery. Fred and Tony are just the ultimate in Dirty Harry ethics. Even though they come off as chauvinistic pigs, they get slapped back. They have keep hitting on their boss’s secretary wanting to know who she’ll sleep with. She got the ultimate comeback that puts them in their place. Their boss is Adolfo Celi (Thunderball). The major bonus feature is 42 minute documentary about the film. Turns out they shot the motorcycle chase without permits. They also include a few of Deodato’s commercials from this era. The transfer looks great. This needs to be required viewing for anyone that wants their cops dirty. Here’s the opening credits.

La Rabbia (The Anger) is an experimental film. Noted Italian directors leftist Pier Paolo Pasolini and right winger Giovannino Guareschi each made films to address the same question. As laid out in the opening credits: “Two ideologies, tow opposing tendencies answer a dramatic question…Why is our life dominated by discontent, by anguish, by the fear of war, by war?” Each man uses newsreel footage to illustrate their essay about life in post war Europe. Do people have it so much better? It’s an interesting piece from 1963. Imagine if Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly were brought together to make dueling documentaries that ran in the same theater. This is like a rap battle with 50 minutes to build up your ammunition. These aren’t movies, they’re a debate about life using the power of cinema. The audience gets to decide who is the winner. The bonus features include a documentary about the cinema duel, a book of essays and a trailer makes this film look like a prize fight. Maybe there should be more of these cinema challenges being made now in the digital age. The movies are in Italian with English subtitles.

Grandview, U.S.A. should be considered as an obscure classic teen films of the ’80s. It’s more exciting than Footloose. Things start off on a strange footing with the theme song performed by Air Supply. Don’t let their smooth sounds fool you into thinking this is a fluffy feel good story about teens in a small town. This is a gruff story of life at a demotion derby that’s being attacked by developers that want to turn it into a country club. Can the kids save their car crashing fun from the uptight fat cats? Or will the hormonally raging kids self-implode before they can defend their favorite haunt. It’s a bit of a comedy since it’s from the director of Grease and Blue Lagoon. This is packed with young stars including C. Thomas Howell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Joan Cusack and a really young John Cusack. This is also Michael Winslow’s greatest role in a non-Police Academy film. For those of you who want cheap ’80s laughs, watch C. Thomas Howell rock out in his MTV fantasy scene. Kids in glowing clothes dancing around grain silos. Jamie Lee Curtis wears a skirt made of chains. Why isn’t this beaten to death on VH1? This movie must be seen by addicts of the Big ’80s Entertainment.

Perry Mason: Season 6, Volume 1 brings another 14 cases of the greatest lawyer to not appear on HLN with Nancy Grace. Raymond Burr continues his iconic role as the legal mind who knows how to get people to confess in a courtroom. “The Case of the Bogus Books” starts off the season with an appearance from Adam West (Batman). There’s intrigue about mobsters getting wrapped into the rare book business. “The Case of the Playboy Pugilist” punches Gary Lockwood (2001: A Space Odyssey) as a hot boxing prospect. He gets blamed for killing his backer. “The Case of the Dodging Domino” busts David Hedison (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) for murder. He loaned a guy money so naturally he’s a suspect. “The Case of the Unsuitable Uncle” features a bit role from Harvey Korman (Blazing Saddles). “The Case of the Weary Watchdog” sniffs a part for James Hong (Kung Fu Panda). “The Case of the Shoplifter’s Shoe” beams down Leonard Nimoy (Star Trek) into a kleptomaniac incident. This remains the premiere legal series simply because it’s that damn good. Sure it’s not like real law, but who wants that? Even Court TV’s new persona hates trials and love pawn stores. Perry Mason: Season 6, Volume 2 will be released on Nov. 22.