Category: Widge Goes Off

  • Paul and Storm / Jonathan Coulton – Show Review

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    3/22/08 – Variety Playhouse, Atlanta

    Paul, Jonathan Coulton & Storm; Photo by Aaron Haley
    Photo by Aaron Haley, not from this show though. From another show. But they still basically look like this. Honest. Source.

    I was at the show last year when Paul and Storm and Jonathan Coulton hit Atlanta for the first time. It was pretty much a packed house at a smaller club called the Five Spot, which was an excellent venue, seeing as how you couldn’t be more than fifty feet from the stage, it seems.

    The success of that show brought them back to a larger venue, the Variety Playhouse, and from what I could tell, they filled more than 2/3 of the seats. This will no doubt increase on their next visit: during a show of hands as to who had seen them at the previous show, enough people raised their hands that I swear the entire audience from that first show came back and brought friends. So by that math, within four years time, and given a show every six months, a Paul and Storm/Coulton show will be on a scale that even Hotblack Desiato would find impressive.

    Paul and Storm and Coulton (which is this close to sounding like a demented law firm) make for a great team. Coulton’s songs have a surprising amount of sadness in them. Not to sound like one of those over-analyzing pricks who try to ruin everything, but I mean, damn, “Shop Vac,” for all of its bouncy fun, is about two profoundly miserable people who bought into what they figured was the American dream only to get to their destination and say, “Um.” I mean, honestly, “You can cry and I probably won’t hear you because it’s loud with the shop vac on.” We laugh at the song but we also understand where the characters are coming from. Perhaps a little too well.

    Some songs stay at that level of almost what we would call morbid whimsy, but some start off with a great profound message and then veer into the profoundly silly. “The Future Soon” is a geek revenge anthem that goes from the standard geek alienation to dreaming about the future and when we’ll be able to change ourselves however we want to”¦killer robots stomping over mankind. Is there a single man in that audience who wasn’t nodding on some level and thinking, “See, Laura, this was all your fucking fault.”

    That’s not to say Coulton is a somber individual. Far from it. He’s a crapload of fun, even when jetlagged from flying back from London. And there’s no other musician alive who can have, at the previous gig, people singing along perfectly with a song called “Mandelbrot Set.” This time around, two young ladies got up and spontaneously danced up towards the stage left side of the house.

    Yes – dancing to songs about fractals. People wearing animated pong shirts and the animated reacting-to-sound-levels shirts and distracting the musicians (where, at any other gig, they would have asked politely, would you please turn that shit off). The guy with the animated sound shirt was using the light of it to sign Paul and Storm’s mailing list signup. Coulton can get a laugh at a line about a “taxonomical hit and run.” Or “Laugh it up, vertebrates.” A song about Pluto and Charon (the planets, mind you) is actually an excellent love ballad and goes over perfectly with the crowd. Welcome to the audience for one of these shows.

    Update: Well, somebody had posted a song from this show, but then they had to go and freaking remove it. Weasels. Here’s something from another show that makes me feel fan-fucking-tastic.

    Here they are now. Doing that singing thing.

    What was I saying? Oh yes, teamwork. You see, Coulton is great, but for a “nerd” musician, his songs are surprisingly deep. Paul and Storm make a great counter to that.

    Now – before I get anybody pissed off at me, I’m not saying Paul and Storm crank out nothing but fluff. But they are a Comedy with a capital C duo, and they know what’s funny. Putting Bob Dylan down a well is funny. Jingles about kitty litter are funny. References to “Storm Juice” are funny. Sea chanties that inspire the audience to bring along a visual aid (letters spelling out ARRR! – and yes, somebody was holding up an exclamation point). That’s pretty goddamn funny.

    So together they’re”¦well, they’re the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups of nerdcore music. You got your peanut butter in my”¦wait, I don’t have to explain that reference with this crowd. Anyway.

    (Although for future reference, folks: you missed a golden opportunity to turn the damn ARRR! around to make RRRA! for “Re: Your Brains.” I mean, come on.)

    Paul and Storm actually open with a song called “Opening Band” which caused a pantystorm to erupt from the audience. The line is “And, sad to say, as of today, no panties have been thrown,” which was quickly updated to be “eleven panties.” (Atlanta now holds the record.) They play with the audience well, and get lots of response to songs like “Nun Fight” (well, it’s a gregorian chant, but that counts).

    They also played a song I hadn’t heard live before, called “A Better Version of You.” This song relates the story of parents breaking it to their five year old son that he’s going to be a big brother soon. “Thanks to the five years we’ve had you to practice on/ Now we know what not to do”¦ Can you imagine the things he’ll achieve/ As a doctor or lawyer or Indian chief?”

    For the record, my younger brother is five years younger and an extremely successful lawyer. Me? I write for websites like this. Conferring with Paul and Storm after their set, I learned that they are both younger siblings. And for writing that song, they are also both bastards. And I cried myself to sleep. I hope they’re happy.

    The high point of the evening was “Soft Rocked,” where Paul and Storm (who take the stage with Coulton to provide back up vocals and other shenanigans) were doing vocals and also acting as horn section. Now, I can’t tell if this was staged or not, or planned, but Storm hijacked the song. Suddenly, the song became “Tequila Sunrise.” I don’t think it was planned, or if so, what followed certainly was not, as Paul and Storm dragged Coulton laughing through a medley of hits, including “Blue Bayou,” “Hey Jude” and finally finishing up with “Stairway to Heaven.” They never even made it back to the original song. It might be the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year.

    Seeing the three of them perform is an absolute hoot. It’s no wonder that everybody (or seemingly so) came back for the second Atlanta show. They are having a blast on stage and it’s infectious. There’s nothing like the feeling of having a huge sing along, in a room full of geeks, of “Sweet Caroline.” Where else can that happen? No place else.

    If they’re coming to your town, you do yourself a disservice by not going. Paul and Storm’s website is here. Give them love. Jonathan Coulton’s website is here. He needs love too. Their tour schedules are here and here respectively. Tell them we said hi.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #2.2: Don’t Make Me Separate You Two

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    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains less foul language than usual. I’ll do better next time, sorry.

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    The sites I pimp in the podcast are: Needcoffee.com, Colors Are Overrated, and The Daily Kicksplode. You should pimp them too. It’s good karma.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

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    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #2.1: Are You Going to Eat That?

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    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a blatant disregard for OSHA regulations.

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    The sites I pimp in the podcast are: Needcoffee.com, Colors Are Overrated, and The Daily Kicksplode. Gnaw on them at your leisure.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

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    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #22: This Product Can Be Ignited Under Certain Circumstances

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    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a content warning that’s so good apparently people can rip it off to use on their own podcasts.

    DOWNLOAD: The link is below. Scroll, my minions. Scroll.

    widgepic.jpgAll the box office nonsense I could tolerate, assuming there’s any at all, is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    I’m not done with Speedball/Penance. Now you can buy a t-shirt.

    P.S. Yes, I know I refer to Identity Catharsis as Infinite Catharsis. The mega-mondo events kind of ooze together into one big glob for me.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

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  • Widge Goes Off #21: Do Not Pierce or Burn, Even After Use

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    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a strobe light effect that has been shown to cause spontaneous outbreaks of Tourette’s in groups of nuns.

    DOWNLOAD: The link is below. Scroll, my minions. Scroll.

    widgepic.jpgAll the box office nonsense I could tolerate is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    Here’s the hilarious rant about Speedball/Penance, that’s funny because it’s true. That was found via The Beat.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.
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  • Widge Goes Off #20: Use in Upright Position Only!

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    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a vicious disregard for whale suffrage.

    DOWNLOAD: The link is below. Scroll, my minions. Scroll.

    widgepic.jpgAll the box office nonsense I could tolerate is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at WidgettWalls.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

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  • Widge Goes Off #19: Lift Using Both Hands!

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    widgepic.jpg[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a complete and utter lack of references to 18th Century Russian literature.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (35.4 MB)

    All the box office nonsense I could tolerate is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    The MPAA Hates You. Yes. They do.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #18: A is for Avocado

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    widgepic.jpg[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and stale bread crusts.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (24.3 MB)

    All the box office nonsense I could tolerate is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    Interesting defenses against RIAA lawsuits.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #17: And When the Web Was Opened

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    widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Miss me?

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and MSG.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (25.2 MB)

    All the box office nonsense I could tolerate is in the podcast. For more, check out Box Office Mojo.

    How not to sue someone for copyright infringement.

    Like The Office? Thank iTunes.

    Comedy Central blows it by yanking their YouTube clips.

    MySpace cracks down on copyrighted songs. Fun.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #16: The Walls of If

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    widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Miss me?

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and decaf coffee.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (32.2 MB)

    Terribly busy watching horror movies. No time for box office mess, since basically all you need to know is that you can expect Saw 4 next Halloween. If you need more, find it at Box Office Mojo.

    Universal’s anti-fan prickish ways.

    The Browncoat Invoice.

    Disney-ABC speaks sense at last.

    The Clicker talks about entitlement.

    Boy Scouts have no clue how to “Respect Copyrights”.

    YouTube crackdowns begin.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #15: Stopwatch on the Widge!

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    widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Welcome back to my little corner of the forgotten pantry down on the basement level of a ten-story apartment building that was condemned back in 1946 and is home for nothing but squatters and the occasional giant mutated rat…of the Internet. Let’s do this.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and artifical sweeteners. And may contain nuts too. And maybe some bits of tree bark. I dunno.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (23.1 MB)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, I’m doing that in the podcast now. Only fair to those listeners in drivetime. Find the full skinnee at Box Office Mojo.

    Limewire slaps back.

    Lucas speaks sense.

    Bonus article: Long Tail discusses the worst box office grosser of 2005.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #14: Never Wed a Webmaster!

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    widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Welcome back to everyone’s favorite waste of time. Let’s do this.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and trans fats. A veritable shitload of trans fats.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (30.9 MB)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, I’m doing that in the podcast now. Only fair to those listeners in drivetime. Find the full skinnee at Box Office Mojo.

    Mark Cuban vs. YouTube.

    Cringely’s columns on the PBS site.

    Knowledge Adventure’s Books By You.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #13: Welcome, Listener – Hope You Survive the Experience!

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    widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Hope you survived the weekend with a quorum of brain cells intact. Let’s do this.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and subliminal advertising for Cheez Whiz.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (25.8 MB)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, I’m doing that in the podcast now. Only fair to those listeners in drivetime. Find the full skinnee at Box Office Mojo.

    Tuffley’s column at Needcoffee.

    Warner Music signs with YouTube.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #12: Night of the Pancakes From Mars!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back, my five listeners. We are going to set the controls for the heart of the sun, with plenty of side trips to stop for pizza.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a host who can’t stop saying “Um” no matter how many times he shocks himself with a car battery.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (39.2 MB)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, I’m doing that in the podcast now. Only fair to those listeners in drivetime. Find the full skinnee at Box Office Mojo.

    Cory Doctorow’s commentary on Amazon Unbox.

    Jeff Jarvis’ response to Universal Music on the YouTube situation.

    Cory Doctorow’s commentary on copyright. Found via Boing Boing.

    Top Ten Things That Will Happen to TV and Newspapers.

    The whistleblower video and the the update.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #11: The NyQuil Has My Face!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. All five of you. Yee-hah.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a self-medicated host, hopped up on NyQuil and Twinkies.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (21.3 MBs)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, well…I’m bored. So I went through it in the podcast. Find the full skinnee at Box Office Mojo.

    Cinematical’s article on Mummy 3 is here.

    Amazon Unbox is here.

    Heroes is here. I just noticed how much their “group shot” is a Lost ripoff. Ha! And…wait, what the hell? I mentioned it in the WGO as in trouble, but Joey is already cancelled! Awesome! This just in–Joey is still cancelled! Christ, I’m tired…

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off Giant-Sized Annual #1!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. We survived DragonCon 2006, and as a result we provide you this very odd Giant-Sized WGO Annual with a slew of guest stars.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a bunch of exhausted, punch drunk geeks.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (66.9 MBs)

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, well…Jesus, did you see the box office? Boring as hell. Never mind. Go check out Box Office Mojo.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #10: The W Stands for Danger!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. Please don’t sneak up on me like that again.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a recipe for blueberry pound cake (when played backwards)

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (29.7 MBs)

    Cruise vs. Paramount article here.

    Yahoo vs. Google stuff here, found via Boing Boing.

    Here’s my original stuff for the challenge, where’s yours?

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, listen to the podcast. Follow along here at Box Office Mojo.

    Join us next time when we’ll see if Warner Brothers can do something right.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #9: The Invaders From the Wth Dimension!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. Assuming that you actually did come back and I’m not talking to myself in an empty room again.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and a very pissed off sea anemone.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (40.4 MBs)

    Check out the Cringely article I mention here.

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, here we go. Follow along here at Box Office Mojo.

    Talladega Nights surprises by holding on for a third weekend as the film keeps heading for profitability, which as we’ve discussed multiple times, isn’t going to be an issue.

    Snakes–I ranted about this in the podcast. Listen.

    World Trade Center is performing very well. Look at that: 40% drop. That’s impressive for any film in this day and age. And for this subject matter–the fact is did so well is due to the praise it’s received, all of which made some mention of Stone’s restraint. Almost guaranteed.

    Step Up still holding up well–but considering it’s already raking in the dough–again, testament to the spending power of young girls–no worries. All they need is a double-dip DVD strategy and they’re in business. Well…more business.

    Barnyard is on its way out, starting to head for DVD where it will do its real money, followed by more pushing on Nickelodeon. These kids…they’re such marketing sponges, aren’t they?

    Little Miss Sunshine is the real success story this weekend: look at those per screen numbers. More than twice of anybody else. And it’s still going wider, I would think. They’d be crazy not to. Amazing–you mean people will make it a point to come out and see good movies, despite the shitty cinema experience? The devil you say!

    Pirates 2 has broken $850 million worldwide. Not only is Pirates 4 in the works, but so is Space Mountain. Don’t even laugh. Christ, they tried Country Bears, didn’t they?

    Material Girls. Now I don’t know what to say about this one, since I didn’t see any marketing for this or Step Up, but obviously this one did something wrong. Casting the Sisters Duff? Can’t speak to that one, though it’s a good theory.

    Pulse wanders off to the rentalverse. It looked interesting, but again–“rental.” And, in the cases of people who know about such things: “Rental…of the Japanese original.”

    Join us next time for when we’ll see…well, who knows? We’ve got Wahlberg remaking Rock Star as a football movie and the new Broken Lizard flick (which actually looks pretty damn funny, I’m scared to say). Those are the only two opening wide, so that means we’re in post-summer doldrums officially! Dump the horses overboard, matey! Woooooo! I’m tired. Go away.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #8: The Menace From Planet W!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. You did bring pizza this time, right? Because I distinctly remember it was your turn to bring the pizza.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and high fructose corn syrup.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (24.7 MBs)

    The article on the RIAA and lawsuits and everything the layperson needs to know about them is here.

    Here’s the Boing Boing listing regarding the blog covering various and sundry Creative Commons gems.

    As for your Monday Morning Quarterbacking session, check out the podcast. Follow along here at Box Office Mojo.

    Bonus Link: The musician Pink apparently has borrowed quite a great deal from Martin Elmond. Check out the full skinnee here. Thanks to Keith for the headsup.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #7: The Dozen Dooms of Widgett Walls!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. Where the hell have you been, anyway? Never mind. Here we go.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and ideas whose expry date was last June.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (28.2 MBs)

    DJ B-Naut does have a MySpace page. People have been bugging me for the link, so here it is. Enjoy.

    Here’s the article about Limewire getting sued.

    That’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

    Talladega Nights does pretty much the business I expected it to, topping even Elf for Ferrell’s best opening weekend ever. I expect it to have decent enough legs and of course, it’s a Will Ferrell flick, so the DVD sales will be formidable.

    I was honestly surprised that Barnyard did as well as it did, although it’s a Nickelodeon property, so they were no doubt marketing the shit out of it on that channel. And, you know, throw enough mediocre-looking CG animated films at the wall, something’s got to stick eventually.

    Pirates 2 is about to top $700 million worldwide. Incredible.

    Miami Vice…well, this has got to be embarrassing. It’s dropped over 60% in its second weekend. Hell, it dropped to #2 and let Pirates 2 have the #1 spot for at least one day this past week. So that $135 million production budget will be looming over them for some time. Don’t expect a sequel.The Descent has gotten surprisingly good critical response for a horror flick. This is the guy who did Dog Soldiers (which Bailey bought me a copy of, he wants me to watch it so bad), so that’s fascinating. We don’t know its budget, but horror flicks are typically not bank busters. And they do well in DVD.

    John Tucker I wish I could say I took the days since we last talked to find out more about it, but I’m a lazy bastard. So look it up yourself. All I know is it will shortly be profitable, so they must have done something right.

    Monster House is leaving with a respectable take, though it didn’t come close to breaking even. I would imagine the DVD sales will be brisk, though, as you can do a single-disc then a special edition and double dip. And it’s a kids’ film, so they’ll fall for it easily, dragging their parents along with them.

    Ant Bully got fried under a magnifying glass and limps to video. I wish I knew the budget on this one.

    Dupree readies a video thrust as well, where I’m sure it’ll do well. Especially in rentals. “Hey, it’s got that funny Wilson guy in it? Wait, which one is he again?”

    And Night Listener just shows that Robin Williams needs to stick to shitty family friendly movies if he wants to do big box office, sadly. He’ll be following Steve Martin’s footsteps soon enough, I’m sure. His last non-comedy decent opening was Insomnia in 2002. Which was pathetic in its own right. So.

    Join us next time for when we’ll see Will Ferrell no doubt keeping the #1 spot, because, really, what’s there to stop him?

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Hey, Stephen Colbert!

    colbert.jpgCongratulations on extending your sphere of influence (read: stranglehold over all wikiality) to this strange realm of tubing we call the Internet.  You are no doubt familiar with the deadliness that too much popularity all at once can bring a website.

    In the beginning, this was called being “Slashdotted,” as Slashdot would post a link to a site and the ensuing storm of users would bring said site to its knees.

    More recently, Digg has supplanted Slashdot and “The Digg Effect” is a similar devastating blow to a site’s midsection.

    Now that you have crippled Wikipedia with your own version of this tidal wave, I would like to offer this to you, your very own term to describe the extent to which your suggestive powers can destroy:

    “COLBERIED”

    The act of a website being taken offline by the sheer onslaught of Stephen Colbert’s followers, not to mention the force of his will.

    Please take this term with our best wishes–but do so quickly.  You of all people should appreciate the power of language.  This word must not fall into the hands of the Bears.

    Sincerely,
    Widgett Walls
    Quick Stop Entertainment

     

     

     

  • Widge Goes Off #6: The Podcast That Lasted 2000 Years!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. Thank you for returning once again to my little shoebox in middle of road. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has been known to make concerned parents’ faces melt off a la final reel of Raiders.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (30.8 MBs)

    DJ B-Naut, who I namecheck within, has some of his stuff here. Enjoy.

    That’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

    Miami Vice finally knocks Pirates off its pedestal, but…not by much. And still, $25 mil isn’t a lot when you consider the damn movie took $135 million to make. So they’ve got a long way to go. And I honestly think it’s going to lose out next weekend to Ricky Bobby. So we’ll see.

    Pirates 2 is about to break $600 million worldwide. Je-sus Christ. And it’s probably got three weeks left on the top ten here.

    John Tucker Must Die, which I know nothing about except Betty Thomas directed it, was the #2 performer on a per-cinema basis, so rock on with their bad selves and…hey, look at that, with only $18 million invested, they’ll be making profit real soon. What a concept.

    Monster House dropped 48% in its second weekend, but it’s got to be feeling better about itself than Ant Bully. Did anyone think that film looked like a good idea? Hey, I know…let’s revisit ants for a third CGI movie! Please.

    Dupree dropped and is out on its way out, no doubt due to the outcry of Steely Dan fans. Kidding. But still, it will need to make its money back on video. Again, this is Kate Hudson. What is wrong with you people?

    Lady in the Water is sinking like a stone. I had no idea until just this past week that Night cast himself as the most important writer in the world or some such nonsense. Good grief. I would never have cast Night as anything other than “The Writer Who Botched the Ending of Unbreakable.” WTF.

    Hey, let’s take a moment to consider: the three biggest mistakes in the top eleven films this weekend…were all from Warner Brothers. Gotta suck to work over there this summer.

    The terrifying Little Man isn’t making money yet, but it’ll be one of those “Well, we’ve watching everything else in the video store, let’s grab that,” or as many of my friends these days would term it, “I can’t help it–it was in my NetFlix queue and it showed up. I felt compelled to watch it.” So.

    Devil Wears Prada, the best scheduling job of the summer, prepares to exit the Top Ten and more power to them. If they’re smart, they’ll do a really sweet special edition on DVD to nab more coin.

    And Clerks 2 is ready to leave the Top Ten as well, but it does so with its head held high: it’s already quite profitable and I’m sure it will have a video shelf life like nobody’s business.

    Join us next time for when we’ll see if Will Ferrell will be laughing all the way to the bank as I suspect he will.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #5: I Dared to Explore the Unknown Emptiness…of My Wallet!

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    widgepic.jpgWelcome back. Thank you for returning once again to my little janitor’s closet of the net. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has caused ferrets to spontaneously combust. Which is never a bad thing.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (31.7 MBs)

    Oh, and here’s the article I mention in the podcast. Read it.

    That’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

    Pirates continues to surprise. I mean, I thought it was a decent movie: but $320 million decent? Je-sus. Anyway, I figured with all the various pics opening this weekend we would have seen it drop to maybe #2, but nope, it stood strong and still brought in $8K a cinema on average. Damn.

    Monster House opens in second place, which against the Johnny Depp Cash Machine is about the best you can do, apparently. Little CG family entertainment never hurt anybody…we suppose.

    Lady in the Water, interestingly enough, is the lowest opening M. Night’s had for a wide opening film. I guess he pissed more people off with The Village than he had at first anticipated. And really, the commercials for the film were terrible. I don’t know what they were thinking. The interviews and summaries all make it out like a dark fairy tale, while the commercials just went “Ooooh, M. Night = spooky! SPOOKY! DO YOU HEAR US YELLING SPOOKY?”

    You, Me and Dupree drops only forty percent in its second weekend, which is pretty impressive considering, well, it’s a dumb comedy and also look at what all it was up against.

    Little Man drops around fifty percent in its second weekend, also impressive considering that it’s a really dumb comedy. But it doesn’t matter, this is one of those things that will have a rental life like you wouldn’t believe. For better or for worse.

    Clerks 2 is probably the only film this year that will become profitable after its first three days of being in cinemas. Which is sad, but true. Sad for the other films, mind you. And this thing will have killer DVD sales on top of whatever it makes. And as I make mention of in the podcast, it’s probably the first film where the sequel tripled, in its first weekend, the box office take of its predecessor.

    My Super Ex-Girlfriend…this was a bit of a surprise, honestly. Only $8M and in seventh place? It had Uma Thurman plus a Wilson brother–what could have gone wrong? Maybe it struck a little too close to home for a lot of guys. I dunno. I still think the bit with the shark was classic, though.

    Superman Returns. Well, the character hasn’t been this weak since Grant Morrison started writing him. Just pathetic.

    And lastly, Devil and Cars are both on their way out.

    Join us next time for when we’ll be talking about either the triumph or crashing of Michael Mann and what will probably be the crashing of Ant Bully.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

  • Widge Goes Off #4: Deadly Deuteronomy!

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    Welcome back. I know you’re wondering why I’ve called you all here and I can’t tell you because I don’t know myself. But I do know it’s a big thing.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has caused laboratory rats to both explode and implode simultaneously.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (29.5 MBs)

    widgepic.jpgThat’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

    Pirates continues to destroy the box office. We’re going to talk about that and Superman in the podcast. I think Little Man and Dupree did damn well, all things considered. The Wayans had their best opening weekend since the Scary Movie franchise. Dupree was basically Owen Wilson’s film, although Kate Hudson is starting to get a track record for carrying films between this and How to Lose a Guy. Why it’s been an issue before, I have no idea. It’s Kate freaking Hudson, for God’s sake.

    Devil Wears Prada has decent legs, although at this stage of the game it’s just waiting for DVD so it can get some serious profit going.

    Cars is about to break $300 million worldwide, so nobody there has any complaints. Between enjoying this film and looking forward to Ricky Bobby, I’m scaring the crap out of myself, I don’t mind telling you.

    Click is untouchable and what’s interesting is how consistently Sandler can open a comedy. He’s generally hit above $40M as an opener. Looks like the last time he didn’t was Little Nicky back in 2000.

    The Lake House…yeah, I’m getting hooked on the Box Office Mojo feature that lets you look at track records for stars. God, I love this site. If you check out Keanu, this is exactly what you might expect for films of this genre. He’s like the Harrison Ford of his generation–he does great in action and sci-fi stuff, but when he tries to break out of his particular mold–he can’t do it. At least not and pull the crowds.

    Nacho Libre is actually a career best for Jack Black carrying a film as far as adjusted openings go. And no, we don’t count animated films or even King Kong–because you know what we all went to see on that one. Not that we got what we came for, but c’est la guerre.

    Scanner Darkly hits the Top 10 and I’m not sure what the thought is with this. Good P.K. Dick adaptations do well at the box office, unless Paycheck scared the shit out of people. Keanu normally does well with genre, like I’ve said before. Maybe they think that the Linklater animation has it so artsy that they’re opening slow to build word of mouth. Best of luck on that.

    Join us next time for when we’ll have a helluva weekend to talk about: Pirates 2 still in the running plus the new M. Night flick, a fantasy romantic comedy with a spandex twist, a family flick, and the latest from our landlord and savior. Should make for an interesting weekend.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

     

  • Widge Goes Off #3: The Kitchen Pantry of No Return!

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    Welcome back. We have assembled here for fnord purposes that we cannot speak, lest the tin foil hats we wear malfunction and cause our words to be overheard. Therefore, I shall point you to the Podcast.

    [CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has been known to cause disorientation as well as disoccidentation.

    DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (41.9 MBs)

    widgepic.jpgThat’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

    As for Pirates and Superman, we cover that in the podcast, really. But I’ll just say this here: LMAO. Now, if you want some other commentary on Hollywood and their hit-and-miss love affair with blockbusters, check out Chris Anderson’s Long Tail.

    Devil Wears Prada dropped less than fifty percent and was making more per screen than Superman, and will break even by next weekend. Good on Fox for smart planning.

    Click has a ways to go before it breaks even, though it broke $100 million. Again, it’s an Adam Sandler film. When he can no longer afford to keep Rob Schneider employed, then you should worry.

    Cars will break even over the next two weeks. Has anyone been to EPCOT and seen if they’ve changed the NASCAR ride at all to tie in with this?

    Nacho Libre is making profit now, as I said last week. I’m still wondering how it will play south of here, honestly. And I’m terrified at how many Halloween costume ideas it’s spawned.

    Lake House and Fast and the Furious 3 are still on the top ten because sometimes the movies above them sell out.

    Waist Deep is no doubt turning a profit because it was done on the cheap as mentioned before. It’s also still doing decent per screen takes for the bottom five.

    The Break-Up–finally with #10 we come to something that’s turning a good profit. With everything else we’re still waiting for it to build up money in the black or the stuff has a long way to go. So take that for whatever it’s worth.

    Join us next time for when we’ll discuss Pirates 2 again, since I doubt anything will rise up to challenge it.

    Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

    Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.