FRED Entertainment

December 31, 2006

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #22: Part 2 – Holiday-a-Gone-Gone

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #22: Part 2 – Holiday-a-Gone-Gone – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with a New Year’s Eve holiday special hot on the heels of their Christmas Eve spectacular, wherein they wrap up their holiday mix tape exploration and greet the coming of 2007. If you haven’t already, make sure you listen to Part 1 – you know, just because…

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #22 Part 2 (MP3 format)

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SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Trailer Park: The Best Trailers of 2006

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:04 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Quick Note: I will be getting to the winners of THE FOUNTAIN poster contest next week but I did want to take this moment to thank all of you, the readers, who have made this a real banner year for me. I am thankful and grateful for all the opportunities I was given to really bring this column further into something that I can find delight in doing every week (I haven’t missed a week since starting nearly 3 years ago) with my interviewing and long-form pieces I’ve been able to write for this site. I finally came to accept that I am half-way decent at my efforts to branch out and I want to continue that trend in ’07 by providing even more free content that you Inter-Tubers seem to consume so much of. So genuinely, from my heart, many thanks to you, the teeming dozen or so consistent readers I have been able to talk to every week with my writing. (Let’s all say a prayer in hope that I can earn more than $30 in the New Year)

I hope all of you have a safe New Year’s Eve and keeping with my end of year goings-on in the Trailer Park it’s time to dim the lights, chill the ham and get down to the trailers that rocked my wiz-orld in 2006. Talk to you next year.

10. THE LAKE HOUSE

See this middle, extended phalange?

It’s up for every critic that shredded this movie.

I absolutely dug this trailer from start to finish. From Sandra’s opening monologue that really re-defined my view of her abilities as an actress; CRASH, come on, was wretched in the way she tried to vamp up her part of the upper-class white lady with a lot of racist anger. To top it off, she looks absolutely gorgeous.

The plot is quickly put into motion the crux of the movie’s plot: “What if you lived two years apart?”

I don’t know why but it was this tagline that hooked me. More than just mere science fiction, I believe this film’s premise was completely inventive. Someone took your average romantic film and infused it with a little something interesting.

The halfway point of this trailer has Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know” is instrumental in further defining how this film is going to pull off having the two leads be entirely separated from one another for the entire film, save two scenes. What’s more is that the leads are never even hinted at ever coming together; how easy would it have been to try and hose people to just insert a moment when they actually do?

The trailer at almost the very end just explodes with nicely confusing moments that really pushed me over the edge in wanting to see what this film was all about. Judging by the box office I am still stumped at figuring out why no one else wanted to. The trailer is still a favorite of mine and one that superbly defined how this kind of film needed to be presented, even if people didn’t show up to support it.

A-holes.

9. TRUST THE MAN

I don’t know why but this movie just struck some sort of nerve.

With the opening you have the entire movie mapped out in front of you: man has friend. Man loves sex, craves it. Julianne Moore actually seems like she’s in a film to help propel the plot, not be the overreaching thumb of the hand that tries to outdo her fellow ensemble actors; she’s likeable, of all things.

David Duchovny wins me over with his instant charm that’s on full display. The way his relationship with Billy Crudup, an individual who needs to be around more often in film, works, I would assert, comes through like a bullhorn in a bathroom stall. If you can believe the relationship all the rest is dependant on the writing.

What’s more is the inclusion of James Blunt’s “Wisemen” which has the overall Grey’s Effect (It’s in the process of being trademarked.) of having the music carry the dramatic weight of the events that come after the midpoint, namely Billy and David’s relationship. And I think this is what gets me every single time I watch the trailer.

The preview is excellent at promising a movie that will deal with relationships between men. In this age of female-fueled romantic comedies, i.e. RUMOR HAS IT, it is nice to know there might be a film that looks at the way men deal with each other when it deals with matters of the heart.

8. CRANK
Stop pointing your fingers and laughing, this movie was everything that the trailer said it was going to be.

I have to commend this trailer for a lot of reasons but the one thing I’ve come back to every single time is that the narrative is established wonderfully within the first 15 seconds. Because you knew, up front, that Statham had his one-way ticket to death punched and that the Reaper was going to collect by the end of the flick it set the tone for everything that comes after.

It’s easy to slap around these kinds of mindless, brainless, masturbatory male-oriented action flicks around but they serve such a vital role in the landscape of cinema. For every art project that a director wants to do that somehow defines what it is to be human in the grand tradition of Grecian drama you absolutely need to have movies that showcase the other side of human nature: the need to blow shit up.

The trailer takes you on an ADD ride that, while it hinders most other trailers that want to seem “edgy” or exciting, absolutely adds to this film’s attraction. From Statham’s action-movie smoothness to the blatant absence of any kind of plot other than what was stated at the beginning you have a recipe for warm and fuzzy destruction.

7. CASINO ROYALE

Parkour.

I think that’s one of the things that did it for me in this teaser trailer and why I selected it to be the one trailer I reviewed for Moving Pictures magazine, my first real published work.

I will be honest when I say that I didn’t have feelings about Daniel Craig being the new Bond one way or the other. Sure, you had purists that tried to petition Craig’s presence in the role while also having the media report on every misstep the man had on set. Yes, he had his teeth kicked in and there was speculation he didn’t really know how to handle a gun but this teaser trailer locked me in for good. This was surprising even for me because I am usually very suspicious of teaser trailers as opposed to their two and a half minute brethren.

When Craig takes on a bloke in the loo, and gives him a proper thrashing, I was absolutely sold. For me it was always an issue that the Pierce Brosnan years for the Bond series were kind of dull. There wasn’t a whole lot of fisticuffs or much in the way of substance, just ludicrous and implausible stunting and bad writing.

This teaser exudes the kind of mystique and allure that a Bond movie should have in ample amounts. There is a reason why people can’t stop talking about how this film is really a return to form for the franchise and this teaser had everything you needed to know before everyone else said it.

6. FEARLESS

Do I really need to explain this one?

Jet Li’s “supposed” last film of this variety is delicately but efficiently introduced with David Lo Pan of BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA fame makes this history lesson real easy to understand: China gets occupied, white men want to overtly show how utterly awesome their strength is and Li comes in to school these guys while mopping their faces inside a fighting ring.

There’s a delicate balance of how you sell this action movie that definitely has a solid heart and this trailer manages to do it. Li comes off as quietly effective at being this character with a largess that’s just indescribable. However, I can put into words the kind of eye-popping action that comes in the form of Li thrashing some nameless, faceless dude while holding an umbrella.

Then there’s the duel of swords in the pool.

The effect of showing these fight sequences works in marriage with the larger plotline of this movie having at least some kind of context in the real world. The overall feel of this trailer feels more like a dramatic action movie than just an all-out martial arts extravaganza. This being Jet’s last foray into the genre you would have thought he would have done it with enough panache and fanfare to make everyone stand-up and take notice. The nice part is that the trailer shows that Jet wanted to have a movie that was substantial, not exploitative. A class act.

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINAL FIVE…And would someone clean up the yak that’s dried up on the carpet? Thanks.

Lost Tales of the View Askewniverse #2 – “Kev & Mosier Are Gay”

Filed under: Holiday Havoc,Lost Tales of the View Askewniverse — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

Even when you think you’ve seen it all, there are plenty of stories that fall through the cracks.

Well, consider this a means of plucking those anecdotes from out of the void and presenting them to you, our loyal audience of Kevin Smith aficionados, via a little feature we like to call “Lost Tales of the View Askewniverse.”

You’ll find Chop Shop Entertainment‘s feature length, in-depth documentary on the development and making of Clerks 2, Back to the Well, on the second disc of your 2-disc Clerks 2 DVD set, but Zak & Joey shot hours more footage than could ever fit in the doc… And believe you me, there’s plenty of cool shit that they were forced to excise due to constraints of time and narrative flow.

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LOST TALES #2: “Kev & Mosier Are Gay” ““
Here’s our next formerly lost tale, which goes into greater depth regarding the special bond that has held together the creative partnership of Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier for over a decade”¦

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Download Lost Tales #2 – “Kev & Mosier Are Gay”:

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    December 24, 2006

    Holiday Havoc Day 17: The Venture Bros.

    Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — Tags: , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:31 pm

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    Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

    Not us.

    Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

    Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

    Ain’t that cool?

    It’s Christmas, and that means the fine folks over at AstroBase Go – Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer – have put together a very special Venture Bros. Christmas song…

    In 2004, The Monarch & Dr. Girlfriend gave us their take on the Bowie/Crosby “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy“, while 2005 brought the tender trio of The Monarch and Henchmen Nos. 21 & 24 belting out Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas” while The Monarch was still incarcerated.

    This year, Dr. Venture has pulled together family, friends, and enemies alike for a very special holiday single, sure to solve all the world’s problems – or at least that’s the idea.

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    Download “Venture Aid 2006“:

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    Check out the rest of this year’s Holiday Havoc – and past Havoc – HERE

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    Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #22: Part 1 – Holiday-a-Go-Go

    Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:09 am

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    Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

    Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

    Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

    VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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    KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #22: Part 1 – Holiday-a-Go-Go – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with a Christmas Eve holiday special, wherein they explore their holiday mix tapes and reflect on the spirit of the season. Be sure to check back on New Year’s Eve for Part 2 of this very special Snydecast…

    [CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Episode #22 Part 1 (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-22_pt_1.mp3]

    SUBSCRIBE
    Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

    Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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    Holiday Havoc Day 16: Dana Snyder & Ken Plume

    Filed under: Holiday Havoc,Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:08 am

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    Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

    Not us.

    Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

    Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

    Ain’t that cool?

    Today, we’ve got a special treat from [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and FRED poobah Ken Plume, co-hosts of our own Ken P.D. Snydecast – an exclusive holiday single.

    Not only does non-singer Ken get put on the spot, but Dana uses Ken’s lack of musical talent to his full advantage with this catastrophic masterpiece of musical comedy. Also, be sure to check out the extra-special Christmas Eve edition of the Snydecast (which you’ll find HERE), but also remember to check back on New Year’s Eve for the second part.

    Until then, here’s Dana making a fool out of Ken, yet again…

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    Download Dana Snyder & Ken Plume’s “Let It Snow Spectacular“:

    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/holidayhavoc/ken_p_d_snydecast_let_it_snow.mp3]

    Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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    December 23, 2006

    Holiday Havoc Day 15: Monkey Talk with Paul Dini & Rashy

    Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Monkey Talk,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 7:27 am

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    Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

    Not us.

    Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

    Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

    Ain’t that cool?

    Today, we’ve got a special holiday edition of Paul Dini’s “Monkey Talk” (co-hosted with his irrepressible sock monkey son, Rashy), which finds Paul taking Rashy and his little brother, SuperRica, on a pleasant drive to see some Christmas lights in the neighborhood… But Rashy has other plans…

    Be sure to check out Rashy’s official site at LittleRashy.com“¦ And while you’re at it, be sure to check out Rashy’s “mom”, Misty Lee, at MistyLee.com

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    Download the Monkey Talk 2006 Holiday Special, “Christmas Lights”:

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    Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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    December 22, 2006

    “Oooooh”¦ Shiny.” #2: T’was a Very Pop Culture Christmas

    Filed under: Columns,Oooooh Shiny — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:15 am
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    The story you are about to read is true. I didn’t even change the names.

    It happened a few nights ago when my wife and I were decorating the tree. We try to celebrate both holidays equally, but the little menorah just can’t hold a candle (sorry) to the big artificial Christmas tree in the corner of our apartment. But, our tree is less of a religious icon and more of a paean to American popular culture.

    My wife, let’s call her “Stephanie,” (on account of that’s her name), was hanging an ornament. Homer Simpson slipped and bumped into Wimpy. While trying to save Wimpy from falling, Stephanie accidentally knocked another ornament to the floor, breaking it into several pieces. It took a short time for usshiny2006-12-22 01.jpg to realize the comedic irony of the shattered ornament that lay there on our hardwood floor. It was a five-inch replica of a famous “major award” ““ a “A Christmas Story” leg lamp ornament.

    We looked at each other.

    “I’m sorry,” she said. “I broke the leg lamp.”

    I smiled, but all I could say was “Not a finger!!!”

    “We can fix it.”

    I dashed to the kitchen junk drawer.

    “WE’RE”¦ OUT”¦ OF”¦ GLUE!”

    This little incident, to us, was our little Christmas miracle. I mean, we have dozens, perhaps hundreds of pop culture Christmas ornaments. We’ve got Spongebob, Snoopy, The 3 Stooges, Howdy Doody, Superman, Batman, Captains Kirk and Picard, The Enterprise, The Millennium Falcon ““ you name it. What are the odds, that of all of our ornaments, the one that would break was our frag-i-lay major award?

    As a famous narrator once intoned, “all was right with the world.”

    But, was it? While inside our home, everything was right with the world, there were a lot of wrong things happening in other places. Here’s a short list of SOME of the things that are just plain wrong about the current pop culture landscape of Christmas:

    • shiny2006-12-22 07.jpgNBC produced a nice, star-packed, family movie, The Year Without a Santa Claus (reminiscent of those NBC contractual obligation TV movies of the 1980’s starring Michael J. Fox and Nancy McKeon). Now, a big holiday event movie like this should be seen by the whole family, right? So, of course NBC broadcasts it from 9 to 11 pm. What happened to the nice Sunday night at 7pm time slot? That’s when you air family movies!
    • shiny2006-12-22 02.jpgI refuse to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas on ABC. To me, this will always be a CBS special from the rotating “BUM-BUM-BUBADABUBADA-BUM-BA-DUM-BA-DUM-BUMP!!!” of the CBS Special Presentation logo, through all of the commercials for York Peppermint Patties right to the end credits. You can take the special off CBS, but you can’t take the CBS from the special. And please, don’t even get me started on I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown. I will only say one word on that matter. “Why?”
    • shiny2006-12-22 03.jpgWhile we’re talking about ABC, did anyone notice that their broadcast of the classic Grinch cartoon included the behind-the-scenes featurette created back in 1994, but they painstakingly removed Phil Hartman as host and replaced him with Tom Bergeron? They used the same exact script!!! They didn’t even revise the verb tenses to reflect the passing of interviewees Chuck Jones, Thurl Ravenscroft and Albert Hague!
    • shiny2006-12-22 04.jpgWhere’s Mr. Magoo? Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol should be broadcast on a major network alongside of Rudolph and Charlie Brown. And for that matter, so should Emmet Otter, but only if the Kermit the Frog sequences (deleted for legal reasons) can be restored. (You can’t see Kermit on the currently available DVD of the program, but you can see a one-hour documentary on the making of the program — a documentary produced by yours truly).
    • shiny2006-12-22 08.jpgThe remake of Miracle on 34th Street is still being shown ““ what’s with that? Every 35mm print, 16mm print, VHS cassette, DVD and negative of this film should be rounded up by 20th Century Fox and buried on their studio lot next to the M*A*S*H time capsule. And while we’re on the subject of Kris Kringle, anyone who watches the colorized version of the original classic should be boiled in their own pudding (whatever that means).
    • shiny2006-12-22 09.jpgThe holiday season has traditionally started with Thanksgiving. Santa riding through Herald Square on Thanksgiving morning ““ that’s the official start of the Christmas season. This year, I began seeing Christmas decorations as soon as Halloween was over (and Halloween seemed to start filling the stores as soon as the Labor Day Back to School shopping season was over). I guess the retailers of America find it easier and more lucrative to go from one holiday shopping season to the next with as little down time as possible. Have these people not seen Miracle on 34th Street? (Any version ““ including the 1970’s David Hartman debacle!!)
    • shiny2006-12-22 06.jpgThe holiday should be about joy and brotherhood ““ not about shopping and money. (And this is true no matter what holiday one celebrates). Almost 50 years ago, a man named Theodor Geisel wrote a book espousing that sentiment. When the Whos’ Christmas is stolen by a nasty old Grinch, the Whos still celebrate the holiday. Christmas still comes. So, the all time irony of irony is that the Estate of Dr. Seuss has turned this tale of the true meaning of Christmas into one of the most commercial ventures in the history of family entertainment. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Craig, you were a writer on The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss ““ You even wrote the Wubbulous holiday episode!!” I did indeed. I was part of the posthumous exploitation of Seuss. But we did new stories based on the original characters, not overblown adaptations of the books. I’m proud of that work ““ I received a WGA Award nomination for my work on the show. Now, I knew that Dr. Seuss was very protective of his work while he was alive and probably would not have allowed the Henson company to license his work to produce our show. But I felt that we were doing our best ““ and if I wasn’t a part of it, someone else would be ““ and perhaps someone who didn’t care as much.

    It may be a fine line, but I find a lot of difference between doing what we did with Wubbulous World and taking The Grinch book and well, getting greedy.

    I find it ridiculously ironic that Seuss’ anti-commercial Christmas manifesto has turned into a seasonal money-printing machine for the Seuss Estate. This year, after cranking out every dollar possible from the feature film version and subsequent DVD release of Grinch, the venue is the Hilton Theater on Broadway ““ the Grinch’s face is on the marquee beside a Target Stores logo. I guess the Grinch buys Max’s dog food there.

    One thing I’ve learned over the years: what you’re saying is important, but how you convey your message says just as much. And I think it takes real nerve to put on a show about the true meaning of Christmas while grossing millions (they do 12 performances a week ““ most shows do 8 ).

    I’m not saying the show is bad ““ I haven’t seen it. I hear it’s good. But, it’s expensive to attend and there’s a ton of merchandise being hawked in the lobby. The 80-minute show may be about the true meaning of Christmas, but everything around the show just plain reeks of profit, greed, money and all of those other things that I really like in most other situations. Some people say that “content is king.” That may be true, but in a situation like this, it’s all about context, folks.

    I could go on and on with this sort of thing, but I don’t want you all to think I’m some kind of old curmudgeon who only complains about how great things used to be. I don’t want to be like that at all, so if the powers that be are reading this, here is some advice: Don’t let things suck. That’s the deal. Don’t let things suck and I won’t rant. Seems easy enough, doesn’t it.

    Somehow, I think I’ll still have a lot of ranting to do.

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    Scrubs Blog: My 6×03 Table Read

    Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:58 am
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    VIDEO BLOG #71: “My 6×03 Table Read” ““
    It’s holiday break time, so how about if we head into it with a full-length cast table read of the script for episode 6×03, “My Coffee.” Happy holidays, everyone!

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    Download Scrubs Video Blog #71:

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    Noctural Admissions: Holiday Movie Roundup

    Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:56 am
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    When the holiday season comes around, new movies end up divided into two general categories. There are the explicitly Christmas films, such as Deck the Halls and the whatever latest Santa Clause there is, and there are the Oscar whoring films, crammed into the last few days of December to qualify for Academy consideration.

    I’ve had a chance to see most of the Oscar whoring films, and the challenge is to determine which if any of these movies will be of lasting importance. Some of them have already even come and gone, if by “gone” we mean failed to make enough money to qualify for continued residence in the main auditoria of first run theaters. And while the financial hell of the sub run and second run theaters is filling up, the new movies crowd the starting gate like Boston Marathon aspirants.

    Turistas

    Take Turistas and Deja Vu. It’s always struck me as odd that slasher films are frequently released at Xmas, and several good ones have been, such as Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (which I saw on Xmas Day way back when it first came out), so they must appeal to some particularly suicidal mood in loner Americans. Turistas was a short-lived new release, a general addition to the genre about Ugly Americans and other tourists in Latin America cunningly routed to a house of horror in which their internal organs are slated for distribution among the poor. Summer fun specialist John Stockwell’s film is beautifully photographed and has a strong cast, including Las Vegas‘s Josh Duhamel and the wonderful Melissa George, but it appears to have struck reviewers and subsequently the audience wrong, and quickly faded. I liked it, though, but in the way you like a TV show that isn’t top flight, or the way you like minor poetry, which is often better than high art.

    Deja Vu

    Deja Vu also carried with it some baggage, being another Tony Scott – Jerry Bruckheimer collaboration, with all which that entails in our minds from their past associations, and in addition sparking the revilement of Manohla Dargis in the New York Times for the casualness with which it played with terrorist themes. It’s the most “normal” of Scott’s recent films (no ad-agency style subtitles, and a less frazzled editing style), and concludes two different ongoing trilogies, one on American policy and paranoia and the other being films extolling the virtues of Denzel Washington. Again, I enjoyed watching it, but it did feel light, and turned out to be much more romantic than the usual Tony Scott film, while also inspiring the usual mind wrinkles time travel films generally do.

    Stranger than Fiction poster

    Those two films are unlikely to garner any Academy consideration, as are the two big romantic comedies of the season, The Holiday and Stranger Than Fiction. Director Marc Forster and writer Zach Helm’s comedy, about an IRS tax investigator (Will Ferrell) whose life is inexplicably controlled by a reclusive novelist (Emma Thompson) has a very interesting thought at its center, i.e., that characters in books are more than “galley slaves” and that authors have a certain responsibility toward them, but this being a Hollywood movie and not completely a Charlie Kaufman enterprise, the thought gets lost. Still, it worked as a movie, and its second half is very touching.

    Holiday

    Nancy Meyer’s The Holiday is her attempt to replicate the tone and spirit of recent British romances such as Love, Actually and Notting Hill, and though I am far from a fan of Meyers’s previous films, including the Father of the Bride remakes and the Oscar voguing Something’s Gotta Give, this one won me over. I was teary eyed all through it. This is partially because The Holiday is as movie mad as I am, with one of the film’s temporary house-trading characters (Cameron Diaz) being a movie trailer editor, and the other (Kate Winslet) befriends a ancient Hollywood screenwriter (Eli Wallach). In fact, Wallach may end up nominated for best supporting actor, if the Academy’s tendency to acknowledge very small almost non-roles remains consistent, and Meyers’s Oscar cred remains high.

    For Your Consideration

    For Your Consideration, which mocks Oscar buzz, has generated Oscar buzz, and that’s a pity because it is a very unfunny comedy about movies made by people who don’t seem to understand movies. It is ludicrous to suggest that someone would make an indie film called Home for Purim set in the post-war South, even in the cockeyed world they are imagining. In fact, the film’s TV satire is more spot on than its movie satires. Where’s Billy Wilder when you need him? His movie quips would have been achingly accurate. And I’m getting rather fed up with Christopher Guest and Company’s absolute and unremitting cruelty towards their characters. They could take a lesson from Thompson’s Kay Eiffel.

    Volver

    I was under-whelmed by Almodovar’s Volver. This entirely female-centric tale of a mother comes back as a “ghost” (there is a surprise twist) to help her two daughters and granddaughter is being praised by critics and award dispensers far and wide as the director’s crowning achievement, but to me it was Almodovar Lite, a conventional movie that shows how far he has strayed from his surrealistic roots.

    Babel

    Another title that can’t be mentioned without the breath of Oscar on the lips is Babel, Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s latest foray into that genre that the Oregonian‘s Shawn Levy calls the “web of life” film. Since Amores Perros, his films have grown colder and more oblique and despite the sunny climbs of this film’s three main locations where distant, loosely connected cross-cultural family dramas are enacted, it is actually quite soft at its center.

    History Boys

    Babel‘s Cate Blanchett is clearly the star of the season, appearing in no less than three of its films. She is excellent in all of them but outstanding in Notes on a Scandal. In a time period that insists on sharing with us unintentionally paired films, this one goes with The History Boys, a cinematic adaptation of Alan Bennett’s play about the conflict between an old style view of learning as a civilizing end in itself, and a cynical view of education as a tool for advancement in a money mad society. Richard Griffiths is excellent as the old codger whose values and sexuality conflict with the new world order. There is an exquisite scene, in which Griffiths’s character, just forced into early retirement, attends a conference with the student most like him and discusses the Hardy poem “Drummer Hodge,” which becomes a vehicle through which he discusses his most sacred feelings. It’s one of the best moments in recent cinema.

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    Call Judy Dench in Notes on a Scandal the “History Girl.” She is a severe dinosaur in a modern school whose new headmaster wants modern teaching techniques. She is also prone to rather obsessive fixations on younger female colleagues. Told from her viewpoint, via voiceover readings from her acerbic, hilarious diary, Notes on a Scandal recounts how various passions in her circle of friends and colleagues flail out of control. Dench, Blanchett, and Bill Nighy (as Blanchett’s husband) are all superb in this film based on a novel by Zoe Heller. It, too, is awards bound, and the only blank spot is the kid who plays the object of Blanchett’s affections. Either as acted or as written, he fails to embody the sort of predatory Beatty-in-Embryo he is supposed to be. Nevertheless, Notes on a Scandal is surely one of the best, if not the best film of the season.

    Queen

    Dench will no doubt be up against Helen Mirren, titular character of The Queen, about the few days the monarchy endured after the death of Diana. Though directed by the otherwise dependable Stephen Frears, The Queen ends up being just a very, very good TV movie, in all ways, as it ends up slobbering over the royals in the most craven and arse-licking manner. Furthermore, Mirren is OK in the role, but really, come on, 12 other stars could do just as well. I’m also getting rather weary of actresses and actors being over-praised for just doing their jobs, and for at-best competent performances being hailed as Oscar worthy because of sentimentality over the performer. Awards, if they must be given, should be reserved for the truly most outstanding, risky, and successful performances of the year.

    Rocky Balboa

    Speaking of TV movies, that’s what Rocky Balboa turns out to be. This sixth Rocky entry is a slow paced, lumbering, impoverished film that comes across like an ’80s inspirational TV movie you might see on a Lifetime channel, as Rocky pauses periodically to espouse his “philosophy” of life. The only innovation, as the film virtually repeats the structure and climax of the first Rocky, is that the final fight itself is presented as if it were an HBO broadcast, which should make for a good DVD transfer.

    Mayan

    Who would have thought that two holiday films would feature, at some point, Spanish conquistadors? Both Mel Gibson’s derivative Apocalypto and Darren Aronofsky’s turgid The Fountain reference such throwbacks. But that is not the only thing ancient about both films. Each one harks back to the roots of American cinema. Apocalypto, which draws upon about 30 film clichés, from the choppers at the start of Apocalypse Now to the blood dripping from a wound that betrays someone hiding, from Rio Bravo and countless other films, is ultimately derived from silent films such as F. W Murnau’s Tabu and the some of Robert Flaherty’s docs, and alternately also from Terrence Malick’s near-silent modern epics of love and war. Apocalypto, from its “beheading cam” to its stacks of Maya holocausts bodies, is as excessive as we might expect, but ultimately a minor film that replays scenes from Gibson’s earlier films.

    Fountain

    Aronofsky’s muddled, well-meaning movie is a variation on D. W. Griffith’s Intolerance, which also told several stories simultaneously, inter-cutting among them. What it comes down to is that each of the three Fountain stories features one of a trio of Hugh Jackmans (conquistador, contemporary scientist, bald spaceman) is trying to save his dying wife by finding the secret of eternal life. The wife is played, mostly in closeup, by Rachel Weisz, a current critical darling, but who here is treated, boringly, like a delicate, virginal spirit of life itself.

    Heart
    Blood Feast

    I’d like to add a footnote to this brief discussion of Apocalypto, however. Back in 1963 Herschell Gordon Lewis and David Friedman, the moral equivalent of carnies, produced a small horror film, shooting it in a Miami motel room. It went on to be one of the most controversial films ever made, one that unleashed a radical change in what and how we watch movies. I refer, of course, to Blood Feast, aka Feast of Flesh. One of the most striking images, much reproduced, shows the murderous and deranged Egyptian caterer Fuad Ramses (Mal Arnold) just after he has torn out the heart of a female victim, holding it up for the geeks in the audience to see. Forty-three years later, Mel Gibson virtually recreates that moment, on a grander scale, toward the middle of Apocalypto. The implications of this stagger me. Speaking only visually, few other paired images show how far we have come, or how much the old psychotronic films have been taken over by mainstream media.

    Good German

    Also in the realm of confusables are The Good Shepherd and The Good German. George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh’s German, which also stars Blanchett, is an adaptation of a pop novel that they turn into an academic exercise in mimicking 1940s Hollywood styles. This film is quite simply boring, confusing, and repetitious (Clooney is beat up about three times in the first 20 minutes). It’s possible that Soderbergh has some high-minded goal of mocking the MPAA’s standards or something like that with his blend of old fashion camera techniques and modern era humping, but for this Soderbergh supporter, the experiment failed.

    Good Shepherd

    Though often a part of Clooney’s posse, here Matt Damon strikes out on his own as a withdrawn, laconic CIA administrator modeled loosely on James Jesus Angleton, who, like Damon’s Edward Wilson, was befuddled by a Soviet mole and betrayed by British double agent Kim Philby (here played by Billy Crudup). This is one of those dream projects, the apple of director and co-star De Niro’s eye as well as of writer Eric Roth. It also makes for an interesting variation on, a sober corrective to, Damon’s Bourne films, with Wilson being an inward operative whose whole career is a failure. In a brilliant, all-star cast that includes Alec Baldwin and William Hurt, the only false note is the freckle-faced guy who plays Wilson’s son, who is dreadful and too often shot in eyeball peeling close-up.

    Little Children

    The other big confusables are Todd Field’s second film, Little Children, and Alfonso Cuarón’s adaptation of the P. D. James novel, Children of Men. They couldn’t be more different, although the ironically titled Little Children bears the influence of American Beauty in its examination of adultery and spiritual corruption in suburbia. I didn’t like this film as much the second time I saw it, when it came across much more mechanical and schematic. Still, Kate Winslet is, once again, very good in a tough part, and Field does capture well the wind blown suburban environment well.

    Children of Men

    Children of Men is a movie I wanted to like but for all its visual pyrotechnics has very little affect. The mono-expressive Clive Owen has something to do with this. Although clearly the people of this film’s future, where childbearing has ceased due to some vague environmental factors, is populated with depressed unexpressive people, it seems like Owen could be a little happier later as he tries to escort the last birthing mother to safety. As a director Cuarón appears to like journeys, at least in the few movies of this prolific filmmaker that have received wide distribution, but in this one the journey is the least interesting part of the film. Only the very beginning and very end really seem to matter, like in a basketball game. Nevertheless there are at least two stunning long takes that are utterly surprising.

    Keneteph’s Korner: Industry Profiles – DJ Ju-Ice

    Filed under: Columns,Keneteph's Korner — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:48 am
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    Who Says Great Things Don’t Come Out of Jersey!

    keneteph-01.jpgI still can’t figure out why New Jersey is at the tail end of many jokes (some even calling it the “armpit of the US”) when a lot of good talent and ideas come out of NJ. The whole vision of the View Askewniverse is an example of this, along with our own Quick Stop Entertainment. Another example of creative innovation coming out of Jersey is Trenton, NJ DJ, DJ Ju-Ice. He’s raised the bar of the DJ game by releasing DVDs of the mixing/mash-ups he does on CD. The whole mix lines up perfectly with their respective video. So you are not just watching a Jay-Z or Pharell video, you are actually watching it completely remixed by DJ Ju-Ice! It truly takes mixing and mixtapes to the next level and will leave you wondering what will be thought of next!

    This musical art you have to see to experience has won him the 2006 Justo Mixtape Award for best DVD blends, and best mixtape blends. Winning a Justo Mixtape Award is something many urban DJs aspire to get, as it was the first award keneteph-02.jpgceremony offered for DJs. Ju-Ice’s recent mixtape video blend DVD is the third one he’s released since last year. I’ve had a chance to see all three and they get better with each one he makes, but still unique in their own right. Being unique does bring a lot of copycats though as Ju-Ice has seen a lot of DJs copy his style of mixing. Despite this he still welcomes creativity from others. On one of his DVDs he encourages other DJs to stay original and keep their creativity up. This new one features a few mixes by his protégé DJ Seductive. A lot of time was placed in editing the over one and a half hours of videos into one continuous mix. He even throws in some Marvin Gay and Dianna Ross into the mix, put to some new beats. The mixtape video blends make a great gift for friends, or even for yourself to watch or show at parties.

    Ju-Ice is staying busy working on a mixtape video blend DVD featuring all Mary J. Blidge videos. DJ Seductive also working on her solo blend DVD project.

    Check out the you tube link for a preview of his blends. For ordering information please call 609-984-8062 or go to myspace.com/therealdjjuice

    Copyright 2006 Keneteph Entertainment

    Holiday Havoc Day 14: Mike Nelson & Rifftrax

    Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:18 am

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    Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

    Not us.

    Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

    Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

    Ain’t that cool?

    Today, we’ve got an exclusive Holiday Havoc gift from Michael J. Nelson ““ formerly of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000 and author of numerous best-selling & very funny books ““ and the rest of the team at Rifftrax.

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    If you’re unfamiliar with Rifftrax, they’re essentially downloadable audio commentaries that you can play back on your mp3 player of choice, which you then sync up to your very own DVDs of such classic (and not-so-classic) films as Lord of the Rings, The Phantom Menace, Roadhouse, The Fifth Element, and even Star Trek V. Even better, the commentaries feature that patented Mike Nelson humor we’ve all been so desperately needing back in our lives (and you can’t beat the tracks featuring Mike’s special guest riffers, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett ““ tho I would give nickels for life if they could bring Trace Beaulieu into the fold, but that’s a Christmas wish for another day”¦).

    You can purchase these commentaries and many more directly from Rifftrax.com for only a few dollars, and additional titles are being added to the library constantly.

    Today, however, we have that special gift just for our Quick Stop readers ““ an exclusive Rifftrax, absolutely free!

    Not only that, it’s a Rifftrax of a very special holiday classic”¦ Well, maybe not a classic, but it’s certainly a lesser light in the Rankin-Bass stop-motion pantheon ““ Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. You can find Nestor on Warner Home Video’s DVD of The Year Without A Santa Claus – and here’s how you can get your free Nestor Rifftrax“¦

    PLEASE NOTE: Now that the holidays are over, the free download has ended. But you can still purchase the Nestor track for only $1.00 – And, while you’re over there, why not check out the Rifftrax catalogue and pick up a couple of their other fine commentary tracks (both Roadhouse and Star Trek V are personal faves)…

    Just to whet your whistle and give you a taste of what you’re in store for, here’s a small preview of Nestor with the full Rifftrax experience”¦

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    Download the video preview of the Nestor Rifftrax:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 14.4 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 6.25 MB)
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    Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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    Weekend Shopping Guide 12/22/06: Happy Holidays!

    Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:02 am

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    The end is nigh, as the ninth season of The Simpsons (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) begins to show the creative fraying around the edges that would completely undermine the show over the next few years. Still, there’s a few great episodes to be found, including the family’s journey to New York, the arrival of Apu’s first wife, Homer’s tenure as the waste commissioner, and the tale of the trillion dollar bill. As with previous seasons, every episode features an audio commentary, plus deleted scenes, illustrated commentaries, commercials, sketches, and a U2 featurette.

    While this year’s wave of Walt Disney Treasures collector’s sets (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$32.99 SRP each) doesn’t feature the 3rd volume of Donald Duck cartoons I’d been hoping for, it’s still a nice clutch of must-have releases for any Disney fan. In addition to the second volumes of both Pluto and Silly Symphonies, there’s also the complete Hardy Boys, from The Mickey Mouse Club, and Your Host Walt Disney, which features memorable episodes from Walt’s 10 years on television. Your guide through all of these discs, as always, is Leonard Maltin, and there are plenty of bonus materials to be had, including audio commentaries, featurettes, art galleries, and more. Now, that 3rd Donald volume had better be on next year’s slate…

    Unfortunately, due to spiraling paper costs, Gemstone Publishing is suspending publication of the regular comic-sized Donald Duck and Friends & Mickey Mouse and Friends (Gemstone, $2.95 each), with issues #346 & #295, respectively. It’s not all doom and gloom this holiday season, though, as they’ll still be publishing their deluxe-sized Uncle Scrooge and Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories ($6.95), both of which will have only a modest price increase in the new year. Be sure to pick up all the wonderful holiday-themed issues, though, as there are some classic stories from the likes of Barks and Gottfredson inside.

    If Bacchus were to ever step off Olympus and become a British comedian, his name would be Johnny Vegas. More a force of nature than a man, he’s an incredibly funny, shambolic, bombastic onscreen presence whose seemingly inebriated manner hide a sharp mind and a quick wit. Many critics dismissed his Channel 4 show, 18 Stone of Idiot (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99), as a raucous, lowbrow mess. Personally, I think it’s a very funny show that has a rhythm and vibrancy outside the norm, and its seeming maelstrom is an elaborate construct. The DVD condenses the short-lived series into 90 minutes of highlights, with bonus features including an audio commentary and outtakes. Any show that has the moxy to ask Elvis Costello if he felt like an idiot for refusing to sell one of his songs for millions of dollars to be used in an advert when he had just performed it live on the show for free is a how that needs to be rediscovered on DVD.

    Anyone that can view Spike Lee’s powerful documentary about the devastation wrought on New Orleans – and its shameful aftermath – without feeling a mixture of sorrow and anger well up within them must have something beside a human heart beating in their chest. When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) is an incredible document of an outrageous tragedy not only for the region, but for America as a whole and the government that is expected to be there in the aftermath of such tragedies. This 3-disc set also includes a 105-minute follow-up film, as well as audio commentaries from Lee and a photo gallery.

    Abby has arrived, Green is on the rise, Carter faces tragedy, and Alan Alda makes a memorable guest appearance in the 5th season of ER (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). This season marked the increasingly soap operaish trend that would threaten to derail the show just a few short seasons hence, but for now, it balances the personal and professional lives of County General quite nicely. The 6-disc set features outtakes and the by now must-see gag reel.

    While all eyes are turned towards his seasonal classic It’s a Wonderful Life, be sure not to pass up the new Premiere Frank Capra Collection box set (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$59.95 SRP), featuring 5 newly remastered classics from the director’s storied career, with brand new audio commentaries to boot. Those films are American Madness, It Happened One Night, Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, You Can’t Take It With You, and Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. If that weren’t enough, the set also contains the Ron Howard-hosted documentary Frank Capra’s American Dream.

    After 8 seasons, many of which are rightly remembered amongst the most classic ever to air on television, The Andy Griffith Show (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) came to a close a few seasons past its prime. In the 30 episodes contained in this 5-disc set, Aunt Bee gets married, Opie goes rock n’ roll, Goober becomes his own man, and there’s even a surprise return of one Barney Fife.

    There’s an undeniable down-home charm to Jim Nabors as prototypical Gump Gomer Pyle, and they managed to export it nicely from The Andy Griffith Show and into his own starring vehicle, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Unwitting torturer of the short-fused Sergeant Carter, Gomer is stationed at California’s Camp Henderson, where is small-town naiveté drives everyone nuts, but gawl darn it, it sure is funny. The 5-disc box set features all 30 first season episodes, plus audio intros from Nabors, audio commentaries from Nabors and Ronnie Schell on select episodes, the episode of The Andy Griffith Show which served as the series’ pilot, Nabors on The David Frost Show, a Jim Nabors Hour clip, and a Lucy Show clip. Bring on the second season!

    Of course, that’s not the only military comedy you can partake of this holiday season. If comedic follies in World War II prisoner of war camps is more your cup of tea, then the penultimate 5th season of Hogan’s Heroes (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) is just the ticket. I’m sorry, but even after all these year, I still find “I know nussing!!” profoundly funny. The 4-disc box set features all 26 remastered and uncut episodes.

    More than living up to its title, Roy Thomas’s Conan: The Ultimate Guide To The World’s Most Savage Barbarian (DK, $24.99) is an essential overview of the creation, history, and mythos of that famous Cimmerian warrior, lavishly illustrated and packed with information.

    Before Ugly Betty took over the airwaves this fall, Americans were enamored with the awkward position young Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway) found herself in as the assistant to incredibly demanding New York fashion magazine editor Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep). I could care less about the fashion industry, but The Devil Wears Prada (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is a spot-on character piece that’s full of plenty of laughs and a makes for a solid night of entertainment. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a gag reel.

    Rocky Balboa is back in theaters and angling to get into your MP3 player of choice with a pair of new releases – a 30th anniversary remastered edition of the original Rocky soundtracks, as well as Rocky Balboa: The Best of Rocky (EMI, $18.98 SRP each), which contains tunes from all the flicks (including Survivor’s immortal “Eye of the Tiger”).

    If you want a pretty clear case of how not to handle a remake of a cult classic horror flick, be sure to give a spin to the recent retake on The Wicker Man (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.98 SRP). Gone is the creepy British provincialism of the original, replaced with a bland American enclave of women situated on a private isle, and Nicolas Cage as the cop who picks the wrong day to go investigating on said creepy island. Do yourself a favor and stick with the Brit original. Bonus features include both the theatrical and an unrated version of the film (with a different, still ho-hum ending), an audio commentary, and the theatrical trailer.

    Where films like The Blair Witch Project tried to revive the creep factor of the unknown darkness existing just outside the light, The Descent (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$28.98 SRP) achieves that in spades through the tale of a group of female spelunkers are stranded deep in the bowels of the Appalachians and find they’re not alone.. and it’s not human. The unrated cut features a pair of audio commentaries, deleted/extended scenes, storyboard to screen comparisons, a behind-the-scenes featurette, an interview with director Neil Marshall, a stills gallery, and outtakes.

    While there was still humor to be found, audiences went largely lukewarm to what they viewed as a “message” show after Ellen’s big announcement during the fourth season, making the fifth season of Ellen (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP) its last. With time and distance, it’s worth giving these episodes a second chance. The 3-disc set features outtakes and cast bios.

    While a fascinating visual trip, A Scanner Darkly (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) is another one of those not quite there attempts to make a cinematic translation of a Philip K. Dick story. As adapted and directed by Richard Linklater as a rotoscoped fantasia, it can’t seem to find a footing in the tale of a suburban society hooked on Substance D, with a government doing more harm than good in order to “save them.” Still, it’s a worthwhile try, and at least interesting enough to maintain your attention. Bonus features include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and the theatrical trailer.

    Fill your winter with wit via the second volume of the Will Rogers Collection (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), featuring the film’s Ambassador Bill, David Harum, Mr. Skitch, and Too Busy To Work. Each film is fully remastered, with restoration comparison featurettes on every disc.

    It’s natural to want to compare Gene Simmons’ family reality series to the hell-brood featured on Ozzy Osbourne’s show, but the surprising discovery of Family Jewels (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) is just how normal Simmons, his partner Shannon Tweed, and their two teenage kids are. In fact, compared to the Osbournes, Gene’s raised a pair of angels. Those expecting the kind of train wreck normally found in these types of shows will be largely disappointed, but it’s a fascinating peek behind closed doors nonetheless. The 2-disc set features the complete first season, plus unseen interviews, a rough cut of the pilot, bloopers, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

    Featuring seven centuries of art, Masterpieces Up Close: Western Painting from the 14th to the 20th Centuries (Chronicle Books, $22.95) is a fun, informative oversize coffee table book that spotlights the hidden in plain view secrets of many classic works of art, from Michaelangelo to Dali, with a fun and breezy presentation that makes discovery a real joy.

    There’s always a very noticeable tipping point where megalomaniacal directors suddenly go off the deep end of their own outsize egos, and M. Night Shyamalan has reached his with the overblown, pretentious, and altogether uninvolving Lady In The Water (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.98 SRP). Like some kind of ersatz cross between 12 Monkeys and Splash, a schlubby apartment manager (Paul Giamatti) is caught up in a tale of something or another when he rescues a mysterious water nymph (Bryce Dallas Howard) from the communal swimming pool. Then stuff happens, much of which revolves around the fate of an artiste played by… M. Night Shyamalan. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes documentaries, additional scenes, auditions, a gag reel, and theatrical trailers.

    It’s been said before, but watching Zach Braff in The Last Kiss (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is like watching a weird, bizarro remake of his writing & directorial debut, Garden State. Sadly, Braff’s lost, maturity-delayed character in Kiss is simply annoying, and the film itself is frustratingly flat and off-putting – whereas Garden State was anything but. Bonus features include director and cast audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a gag reel, and the Braff-directed video for Cary Brothers’ “Ride.”

    After so many years, all of the various locales of Survivor begin to blend together in a miasma of challenges and bickering, and such is the case with Survivor: Vanuatu (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). This 4-disc set features not only all the episodes, but also additional footage, featurettes, audio commentaries, and the reunion episode.

    While not exactly holiday fare, you can now own a trio of Henry Jaglom’s films, new to DVD – New Year’s Day, Someone to Love, and Tracks (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$14.99 SRP each). All three discs feature audio commentary from Jaglom, who is joined by Dennis Hopper on Tracks, Andrea Marcovicci on Someone To Love, and David Duchovny on New Year’s Day.

    Return to the estrogen-thick walls of Wentworth Detention Center via the second collection of the Australian cult classic Prisoner Cell Block H (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP). Think of its sometimes outlandish soapy-ness as a female prison version of Oz.

    Only completists will want to pick up the first volume of The New Adventures Of He-Man (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), the 90’s follow-up to the 80’s “classic” that managed to strip away any charm or iconic design found in the original. The 6-disc set features the first 33 episodes, plus 2 new documentaries, commercials, trivia, character profiles, and more.

    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    10 Quick Questions: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

    Filed under: 10 Quick Questions,Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:58 am
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    by Christopher Stipp

    I just couldn’t believe it.

    One of the best parts after I get done interviewing someone is deconstructing what I think is the essence of what was talked about. Be it someone who I thought kept yammering on about nothing in particular, someone who had nothing to offer but their breath or when someone says something insightful it has always been a unique experience. This brings us, then, to Mary.

    One of the very first things after I hung up the phone after we were done conversing about her new film BLACK CHRISTMAS, the one she’s starring in with Quentin Tarantino behind the lens, GRINDHOUSE, or the latest in the DIE HARD franchise, I was taken with how succinct and clear her answers were to my queries. It’s customary for there to be some gaps of silence as the person I’ve just asked a question to chews on what I’ve said and thinks about a response.

    Not Mary. Quite contrary.

    I had a roster of questions ready to go and she just shredded through them without even giving a moment’s hesitation. She sliced through the customary vagaries that many of her contemporaries toss out like speed bumps, usually asking me, “What was the question again?” Mary had an answer waiting for every one of my thoughts. She even schooled me on a well-known It was this extemporaneous back and forth that I so wish could happen with every interview I do but Mary deserves credit for just getting right into things, I admit that I wasn’t asking anything too personal that would cause a natural wall to go up, but I think it was her exuberance that I hope shines through in the coming exchange. From not ever hearing of her to seeing her on stage at the San Diego Comic-Con this past summer and being taken by her wide-eyed happiness it’s hard to think that she could end up being sliced and diced in this remake of a film that was filmed first by the man who would eventually bring me A CHRISTMAS STORY in 1983, a full year before Mary was even born.

    Man, did that just make me feel old. BLACK CHRISTMAS opens this Monday, December 25th.

    P.S. – Late breaking news. If you’d like to glimpse the wonderment that is GRINDHOUSE Yahoo! has just put up the exclusive teaser trailer on their site. Do yourself a favor, check it out.

    Christopher Stipp: Well, thanks for making time for me.

    Mary Elizabeth Winstead: Of course! No problem at all.

    Stipp: Let me right to it and ask what made you want to do another horror movie after FINAL DESTINATION 3?

    Winstead: It was interesting. I was actually somewhat hesitant and not because I have anything against horror movies, I’m actually a big horror movie fan, but I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, one horror movie on top of another horror movie. But I love Glen Morgan and [producer] James Wong and all of the crew of FINAL DESTINATION 3 so much and it was such a great experience doing that film so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go through it again with them.

    I figured it would be fun”¦Horror movies are such great things to film because every day is high adrenaline, high energy, so I figured why not.

    Stipp: That was something I was going to bring up later in the interview but since you’ve said it I’m curious to know how if there’s a difficulty to keep up that sense of dread or fear, take after take after take?

    Winstead: It can be a bit draining sometimes. It’s quite challenging. I think actors in horror movies get kind of a bad rap for not being the most talented actors out there but it’s one of the hardest thing to do, generating that fear, because it’s not easy to draw from. So, for me, I had to kind of start out by being emotional and thinking about things that really saddened me, and frightened me, like death and thinking about people I love dying and just drawing from that kind of emotion that would bring me to that fear. So it was definitely draining but, at the end of the day, it was very rewarding.

    Stipp: Could I ask if whether being in a slasher film like BLACK CHRISTMAS, where a guy stalks women in a sorority house, has any base in reality where some people think that this just perpetuates the notion of violence against women?

    Winstead: I don’t see this as being derogatory towards women. I think that horror films, especially slasher films, can be analyzed in so many different ways and have been. There’s the whole thing with the “final girl” and it’s really interesting because I was talking to Quentin Tarantino about it a few weeks ago of all the different studies and ways of viewing that.

    I don’t think it can be looked at in that one dimensional, close-minded way. So, I think it’s entertainment and it can be taken for however you want to take it.

    Stipp: Right. And now you’re going to be in GRINDHOUSE”¦ Another”¦

    Winstead: Yeah!

    [Laughs]

    Stipp: I swear one of my questions was going to be whether you were going to continue down this path and possibly remake PSYCHO COP or CHOPPING MALL.

    Winstead: I know!

    [Laughs]

    I’m not intentionally seeking out horror movies but I am not going to turn a good part down just because of its genre so I’m up for anything.

    Stipp: So how was working with Quentin and his envisioning of what a horror, splatter, exploitation flick should be and your experience on BLACK CHRISTMAS?

    Winstead: Quentin is really just all out fun.

    A lot of the scenes were comical and over the top and crazy so there wasn’t really any real lot of fear or emotion. Most of my scenes are just filled with dialogue with Rosario Dawson and Tracie Thoms, just hanging out and being girls, just having fun. And then it gets sort of twisted at a certain point but it’s still in this campy, fun way. So, every day we just laughing after every take. We were just howling. So, it wasn’t as dark as the other horror films I’ve done.

    Stipp: And I have to mention that I saw some of Robert’s footage during Comic-Con this past summer.

    Winstead: Oh, really? Nice”¦ The two of them together”¦it’s just a crazy, fun environment. I miss it, very much.

    Stipp: Being there, and being in the eye of the presentation during Comic-Con where you had hundreds of geeks just screaming and roaring what was it like to be a part of something like that? Being an actress I have to believe that you don’t get many opportunities to be front and center like that.

    Winstead: It was so crazy. For one thing, I was really surprised that I was even invited to be there. I figured it was just going to be Quentin and Robert, maybe Rosario, even the more well known stars of the film, so I was very excited that I was invited to even be on the panel. And, beyond that, I expected that I was just going to sit there silent the whole time and no one would know who I was. So it was really strange that I actually got questions from the audience about work I had done. That was such a shock to me. It was kind of the first time that I realized anyone out there actually knew my name and had seen my work before.

    [Laughs]

    It was really a fun, fun experience.

    Stipp: Do you get more of that with every project you take on? A little more public recognition? With SKY HIGH, you’ve got to have a cadre of small fans who’ve probably watched that thing again and again while now you’re also cultivating a more mature audience with BLACK CHRISTMAS and later on, GRINDHOUSE and DIE HARD 4.

    Winstead: Yeah, a little bit.

    I see it more online than anywhere else where you can see it growing like on web sites and message boards dedicated to you, which is so strange. So, it’s still in this sort of fantasy world to me and it doesn’t feel real. It’s like, “Oh, there are some people talking about me online.” Out in the real world, no one knows who I am.

    So, it’s strange to think that those are real people out there, people who have seen my work and are true fans. I have yet to meet a lot of them because I haven’t been to those kinds of conventions but every now and then I’ll get recognized on the street but most of the time it’s just double-takes from people who say, “You look familiar.” At a restaurant the other day the waiter said I looked like a girl from FINAL DESTINATION 3. But it’s not to a degree where I feel any level of fame yet.

    Stipp: Now, with this being the holiday season and BLACK CHRISTMAS being a warm movie you can take the whole family to, I recently took my family, namely my daughter, for the first time to see the Nutcracker. I found out that one of the first productions you really were involved with was the Nutcracker. I’m curious to know which part you played and whether you thought ballet was the route you were going to go in for the duration of your career.

    Winstead: I did, absolutely. As a child, I acted and I loved acting but ballet was my heart’s career choice. Over the years I’ve been almost every character in that production because I did a few years, I was Clara when I was 12, I was the mechanical doll, I was Chinese, Russian, I was the Snow Queen, I was everything. That was something I really loved and was passionate about it. I went to New York and did summer programs with the Joffrey Ballet School and, at one point, I just realized that it probably wasn’t going to go as far as I wanted to just because I was really tall for my age and it’s such a precise career as far as physicality”¦you have to fit into this mold. I didn’t want to put myself through that. I realized that the thing I loved most about it was the performance and being able to act and play characters on stage so I figured, “Why not just stick with that.”

    It was a nice training background for me and I miss it. I still try and take classes whenever I can.

    Stipp: Are your feet all jacked up or do they at least look good in a pair of flip-flops?

    [Laughs]

    Winstead: They’re nice! I think I got out of it just in time.

    I had some teachers at Joffrey who wouldn’t even let you pad your toe shoes because they want you to toughen up.

    Stipp: You’re kidding”¦

    Winstead: Any more years of that and I would be totally deformed looking. But I think I got away just in time.

    Stipp: Now, from GRINDHOUSE you’re hitting the screen again on July 4th of 2007 with DIE HARD 4.

    Winstead: Yes”¦.

    Stipp: Lucy McClane all grown up. And I know some people will knock it but Len Wiseman did a great job with UNDERWORLD. He made that movie knowing exactly what he wanted to get out of it. Are you finding he’s bringing that same sensibility to DIE HARD 4?

    Winstead: Well, it’s been fun so far. I am still working on it until the end of January. I haven’t yet gotten into some of my bigger stuff so it’s hard to say exactly as I’ve only done a few scenes here and there, I’m still just getting a feel for it but it’s been great because it has been a different experience for me. I’ve never done a big action movie. There so much focus on that [the action], and a little less on my own performance, that I kind of have to deal with that myself.

    [Laughs]

    As I try to bring what I can to the table with all that’s going on. There’s a lot more waiting around for the scenes to be set up because the explosions have to happen at the EXACT right time. The cars have to drive away at the exact right time. There’s so much more, technically, going on but Len is handling it so well. It would seem like it’s such a high stress type of job but he’s so calm, and so fun loving through it all. I think that’s a good sign of someone who knows what they’re doing, not letting it get you.

    Stipp: On the subject of where you really got some experience in front of a camera, namely television productions, a lot of actors recently who have traditionally been in film have been making the move to the small screen. Any ambitions to ever go back?

    Winstead: Not right now. I’m so excited to have been doing back-to-back films, it’s such an exciting and now thing for me, I really never thought it would happen for me because I was such a pilot kid growing up. I would come out, do a pilot, it wouldn’t get picked up, and I would do it again next year and I kind of felt like I was going to be doomed to repeat that for my entire career.

    But the fact that I have been able to do film after film after film”¦it’s been the best year ever. It’s made me really want to try and continue to focus on that. Maybe when I get a little bit older and I want to settle down and have a little more stability I think that would be a great thing to be on a TV show, have a steady income and have a steady place where you live and work. I think that’s a real attractive idea but, right now, while I can I might as well live a little crazier life and travel all over the place doing different films. We’ll see what happens.

    Stipp: Being a young actress, competing with other young actresses, is there an outside pressure to keep going at a film career while you’re able to have one, to not let this moment slip by?

    Winstead: I don’t really think of other actresses as competition, just because I feel like everyone is so different and everyone brings something completely different to the roles that they play so that when I am meeting for different roles, and I see another actress there, I don’t have that competitive edge like, “Oh, I’ve got to get it over her. I’ve got to do better than her.” I think that everyone is going to be liked or disliked for completely different reasons.

    But it is hard, when you hear on a pretty consistent basis, “Well, we need someone more famous. We need someone more famous.” That’s something I’ve been hearing for years but I’ve gotten to the point where now it’s, “Well, you’re almost there but not quite.” So, I’m still struggling with that but you have to keep working at it and hopefully you’ll get past that point, you WILL BE the person getting the roles and hopefully I’ll have paid my dues and deserve that moment when it comes for me.

    Stipp: So then do you have some more projects lined up as soon as DIE HARD 4 finishes?

    Winstead: Not yet.

    I’m taking meetings and reading scripts, just trying to find the best thing and hoping to take small steps ahead with each thing as I build up my career and try to get to the next level. I’m hoping to find the thing that will take me there.

    Stipp: Can you be more picky now?

    Winstead: Definitely, yeah.

    It’s an interesting place to be. For the first time in my career I am turning things down which I never imagined I would be doing. I would take almost anything as long as it wasn’t degrading to me as a person. If it was work, it was work and I was happy to do it. And I still feel that to a certain extent so it’s very hard for me to say no when someone wants to work with me. I’m just having to be smart about it and only choose films that are going to be a step ahead, not a step back.

    Stipp: And how do you get that feeling, from the script in your hands to what you think will actually be shot? In two different hands I think you could have two different movies based on the same source material.

    Winstead: Right, that’s true too. It can be very objective when you read a script and there have been scripts in the past where I thought, “That’s not a very good script. I think this movie is going to be pretty bad.” And then I see the movie and it turns out to be really great!

    And so it’s hard when I turn something down because I think, “What if it turns out to be the greatest thing ever?” You’ve just got to trust your instincts and go for it because, at the end of the day, if it does turn out to be a mistake, whatever. There’s always something else waiting at the end of the road.

    Stipp: And so what popped out at you when you read the script for BLACK CHRISTMAS? Or was it a pitch that began, “Stay with me, don’t laugh or say no but”¦it’s a remake”¦of a horror movie”¦”

    [Laughs]

    Winstead: Well, I really enjoyed the original BLACK CHRISTMAS. Olivia Hussey was one of the reasons I wanted to be an actress as a child because I did a school production of Romeo and Juliet and I watched her version of it everyday for almost a year and I just wanted to be her so she’s always been on my list of idols. Hence, being in a movie that’s a remake of one that she starred in was pretty cool and the character was something new for me, nothing I’ve ever played before, sort of a debutant socialite snob. I’ve always played like the Nice Girl or the Girl Everyone Likes so I thought it was different.

    Stipp: Last question: It’s Christmas time. What do you have planned?

    Winstead: I’m going home to North Carolina to see my family, I’ve got a big family, 5 kids in the family, and they all have kids for the most part so all of us are going to go and rent a Bed N’ Breakfast in Asheville, North Carolina. There’s all sorts of tourist-y things to do up there like crazy gingerbread house making contests and it’s just going to be nice.

    ##

    QSE News: 12/22/2006

    Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:53 am
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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

    • qsnews.jpgOn her official webpage, author J.K. Rowling has put up a hangman game where fans can figure out the title of the 7th, and final, Harry Potter book.  It has been speculated that in the book the young hero Harry Potter will die, effectively driving millions of readers into the arms of NBC’s To Catch a Predator.
    • From our “Where Are They Now” file, Fred Durst, lead “singer” of Limp Bizkit, has been cast in an upcoming movie titled Play Dead.  The story centers on a formerly successful frat-rock star who desperately tries to hold on to his meager amount of “celebrity” without the aid of a VH1 reality show.
    • Some major movie studios here in the States are crying foul after the losing defendants in a major piracy case in China mysteriously disappeared.  Disney, Universal and Fox, amongst others, were hoping that the verdict would prove a crippling blow in their fight against piracy and are demanding that Chinese officials do everything in their power to locate the individuals.  In response, Chinese law enforcement agents released descriptions of the wanted men, each sporting an eye patch, parrot and wooden peg leg.
    • Children across the country are giggling with glee now that the beleaguered Buster Baxter, the cartoon star of the PBS series Postcards From Buster, is getting a second chance with 10 new episodes. The original series was yanked after Buster visited a family in Vermont with two mommies.  PBS executives couldn’t have been more excited as they released the upcoming schedule which features the episodes “Jimmy and the House of Crack” and “Timmy’s Daddy is a ‘Bottom’.”
    • In another example of what happens when Rosie O’Donnell doesn’t have something occupying her mouth, a war of words has begun evolving the corpulent host of The View and the toupee challenged Donald Trump.  This latest brouhaha comes after O’Donnell chastised Donald Trump’s reaction to the controversy surrounding Miss USA Tara Conner and her nights of under-age drinking, drug use and illicit sex.  When asked for comment, Trump fired back, “The only time O’Donnell should open her fat mouth should be to stuff it full of food… or vagina!”
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

    ##

    Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/22/2006

    Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:45 am
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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • Can you figure out which one is comics legend Stan Lee? (Thingamabob)
    • Check out the restoration of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer puppets… (Thingamabob)
    • It’s kind of hard to take Donald Trump seriously when he says things like this… (Thingamabob)
    • Here’s how to promote your season premiere during the holiday season (Thingamabob)
    • “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel” a la South Park(Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

    ##

    December 21, 2006

    Holiday Havoc Day 13: Melonpool

    Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Melonpool Quickcast,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:01 pm

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    Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

    Not us.

    Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

    Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

    Ain’t that cool?

    Today, we’ve got a special holiday video from Steve Troop and Quick Stop’s very own “Melonpool Quickcast,” wherein the “Melonpool” gang wishes everyone’s favorite droid a healthy helping of holiday cheer…

    Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

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    Download The Melonpool Holiday Quickcast 2006: Merry Christmas R2-D2:

     

     

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 26.9 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 12.1 MB)

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    Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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    And don’t forget to comment on this and other Melonpool Quickcasts over at the official Melonpool Quickcast Forum!

    Join the Melonpool crew on MYSPACE!

    Mayberry Avatar Ralph Avatar Sam Avatar Sammy Avatar Roberta Avatar

     

    Music For The Masses: Year End Extravaganza

    Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:43 am
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    Hello, friends and Happy Holidays!! Welcome to the very last Music for the Masses of 2006. Boy, what a year, huh? I don’t know about you, but this time of year, in addition to celebrating (or, in my case, celebate-ing) the holidays with family and friends, I like to reflect on all of the things I’ve learned over the past year. For instance, I learned that you shouldn’t go hunting with Dick Cheney, that Mel Gibson is a bad drunk, that Matt Lauer is “glib,” Tom Cruise is a whacked-out dick, Rep. Foley doesn’t use a bookmark because he just prefers to bend the pages over, Rev. Haggard and Lance Bass both prefer to be “bottoms” and that Brittany apparently shaves her poonanny with a cheese grater. Oh, and I also learned that Pearl Jam fans have even less of a sense of humor than their favorite band. Hard to believe, I know. But, hey, you know the most important thing I learned this year? That’s right!! I learned that the music industry is still capable of offering up some kick-ass tunes and THAT, my friends, is what we are going to concentrate on today. Consider this an early Christmas present, or, if you prefer, a late Hanukah gift, from your old Uncle M.C.

    EOY-XMAS

    Now, mostly because I’m lazy, I assembled my original reviews for the best albums that I had the good fortune to hear this year. So, for you faithful readers, consider this a trip down mammary… I mean, memory lane. For the rest of you, consider this a peek at what you may have missed.

    So, without further ado, I present to you some (note: there were a couple of discs that I think are brilliant that I didn’t review, namely Gomez’s How We Operate and OSI’s Free, that easily would have rated a perfect score) of my favorite discs from 2006… in no particular order…

    EOY-SCIENCE Artist: We Are Scientists
    Album: With Love and Squalor
    Bastard Love Child of: XTC and Hot Hot Heat
    Best for: Celebrating John Borwein by calculating pi to 100 billion decimal places.

    EOY-DORKS

    Wow! Look at these guys! It’s Napoleon Dynamite, Merlin Olson and Sy Sperling from Hair Club for Men. To borrow from one of my all-time favorite movies, “these guys [sic] couldn’t get laid in a morgue.” Okay, maybe the one dude… but the other two? Holy crap! These guys look like the teaching assistants at Math Camp. Now, I’m not throwing stones in my own glass house here, but there are ugly people all over the place doing more with what little they have then these boys. Case in point: Paris Hilton. Come on guys… loose the porn-star mustache and the birth-control glasses, the Amish beard, that God-awful sweater and comb-over and have a little respect for yourselves. Good lord.

    At any rate… where was I? Oh yeah, the music. So I guess the question here is: what happens when these three guys channel their OBVIOUS sexual frustrations into their music? Well, I’ll tell you. You get the “weird and witty pop” aesthetics of a group like XTC combined with the basic, catchy indie-rock of bands like Hot Hot Heat and the Killers. Or, in other words, you get some damn fine music.

    If you haven’t guessed by now, I am fan of the new, indie-rock movement (the Killers, The Strokes, these guys, etc.) and this was an easy sell for me. But regardless, this album is just plain packed with catchy, rocking songs. I personally like the first single, “Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt,” and the single-ready tracks “It’s A Hit” and “The Great Escape.” If you are into this whole scene, it’s impossible to be disappointed with this disc. If your not, well… go check out Mariah’s latest. In fact, you can take all of her album covers, put them into sequential order and flip through them really fast like you would a cartoon book. I swear, as God as my witness, it’s like watching Eddie Murphy change into Professor Klump. I shit you not.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-JENNYCOVER Artist: Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
    Album: Rabbit Fur Coat
    Bastard Love Child of: Cowboy Junkies and Patsy Cline.
    Best for: Conjuring up images of all the nasty things you’d like to do to Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins.

    You know, I’m not sure if it’s the fact that it is getting close to Valentine’s Day (Thank you, Hallmark!) or if it’s all of the Viagara I’ve been ingesting lately, but I feel compelled to tell you all that I’m in love. Her name is Jenny and she sings in a band. I know! I can’t believe it myself. I mean, I’ve liked her for awhile now, but we were mostly “just friends.” But then, I don’t know if it was planned or an accident or what, but suddenly… BAM!! She started singing to me with that voice of hers and then flashed me the twins!

    EOY-JENNY2

    Damn. Now, I will fully admit I am completely infatuated with the former child star, current Rilo Kiley front-hottie and future Mrs. M.C. Bell. You see, note only is she cute as hell (and yes, hell is very cute), but Jenny has a voice, equal parts sultry and sexy, that could turn the Brokeback cowboys straight. I mean really straight, not just “until we’re alone in the mountains” straight. And, as if that wasn’t enough, for this latest side-effort, Jenny went out and found these hot, Kentucky-born, harmonizing twins to sing back up. Good lord… I need a smoke.

    EOY-JENNY

    Now, I should also admit that I am a bit annoyed that Jenny had to go and ruin all the hot girl-on-girl action here by throwing some dudes into the mix. But considering that the dudes are artists like Connor “Bright Eyes” Oberst, Ben “Death Cab For Cutie” Gibbard and a couple of the swinging dicks from Maroon 5, I’ll forgive her. Also, she really only uses these guys for the Traveling Wilbury’s cover, Handle With Care, so I know they don’t really mean anything to her. She was probably just trying to make me jealous or something.

    However, this album is mostly just Jenny and the twins putting a modern stamp on some old sounding music, or, as I like to call her style here, “alternative gospel.” And no, pagans, you shouldn’t fear because I don’t mean that in a religious sense but in the “blending of country, folk, bluegrass… all sprinkled with a hint of deep soul” sense. The songwriting here is strong and the tunes are all memorable, but my personal favorite has to be “Melt Your Heart.” And you know what, Jenny? You did. You did.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-SUBWAYS Artist: The Subways
    Album: Young for Eternity
    Bastard Love Child of: White Stripes and Oasis.
    Best for: Helping us all to forget that England also gave us the Spice Girls and Wham!

    You can say two things about the British. One, they don’t know shit about dentistry and two, they know how to crank out great bands. Now, it’s no secret that there have been numerous, great English bands. In fact, file that statement under “Duh.” But that list is incomplete. It is incomplete because it is missing The Subways. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “C’mon, M.C. This band is “bubblegum rock” crap. Exhibit A: their appearance on “The OC ““ Mix 5″ compilation.” And to that, I say “touché.” Hell, if that doesn’t shoot your credibility in the ass, I don’t know what does.

    EOY-DENTIST
    A British Dentist

    However, I’m here to say that you have made a mistake. And, if you feel that way, you just missed one of the best discs that I, personally, have heard in quite some time.

    The group, comprised of bass player/sometime vocalist Charlotte Cooper, guitarist/usual vocalist Billy Lunn and drummer, Josh Morgan, were initially discovered at an unsigned artist competition back in 2004. Snapped up shortly thereafter, the band hooked up with solid indie producer, Ian Broudie (Lightning Seed), and came away with this new gem, Young For Eternity.

    EOY-SUBBAND

    Ello, luv. “˜Ow’s about you jump on the good foot and do the bad thing?

    The album itself veers between extremes as the band presents both solid rockers, like the first single “Rock and Roll Queen” and “Oh Yeah,” and more subtle, softer tunes such as “Lines of Light” and the VERY Oasis-sounding, “No Goodbyes.”

    Arguably, the most impressive aspect of this disc, to me, is the variety of sounds presented here. As a result of this, the band is exceedingly hard to categorize. Are they rockers? Sure. Are they a shoe-gazing, emo band? Sure. Do they like the Sex Pistols? Sure. Did they kinda rip off Oasis? Again… sure. Regardless, every song on the album shines in its own right and this is easily one of the best discs I have heard in quite some time. And the best part? It doesn’t sound like another weak attempt to capture the fad du jour. Good Stuff.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-HOTEL2 Artist: Hotel Lights
    Album: Hotel Lights
    Bastard Love Child of: Ben Folds and Travis.
    Best for: Realizing that Dave Grohl wasn’t the only talented drummer over-shadowed by a talented front man.

    EOY-HOTEL

    How did Hotel Lights get in my mom’s basement?

    Before we get started with this one, let me just say that yes, I know that this album came out in early March. I missed it. Jesus… get off my back already! So, why review it now? Simple. This album is absolutely AMAZING and I feel a burning need to tell you about it. Of course, that burning could also be the result of this weekend’s “bender,” where I woke up in an unknown motel room wearing nothing but pasties and a goatee that I didn’t grow.

    If you are anything like me, and I’m sure you are, right about now, you are probably saying “Why would someone name a band “˜Hotel Lights?'” Good question, sparky. Here is a little quote I was able to dig up from founding member, Darren Jessee, former drummer for Ben Folds Five:

    “…when you see hotel lights in the distance you feel like ‘yeah, I’m almost there’, but when you stand in the bathroom and turn on the hotel lights, they are fluorescent and you see every scar.” -Darren Jessee

    Holy crap, Darren… sounds like Ben messed you up pretty good, eh? Seriously, Darren, tell me… do you have to cut yourself sometimes to let the darkness out?

    EOY-BEN

    Ben Folds… the bastard that broke Darren’s heart.

    As I just mentioned, Hotel Lights is the creation of former Ben Fold’s drummer, Darren Jesse, who actually got his song writing start while playing for Ben. That’s right, friends, Darren is the man responsible for the mega-hit “Brick” and, my personal favorite, “Magic” from the Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner (Highly Recommended!). With this new band, Darren takes a more melancholy approach to song writing by over-laying his catchy melodies with heartfelt, angst riddled lyrics. Yes, you guessed it. NOT an album to play at your next rave. However, this IS the perfect album to have on in the car, or as background music for your next romantic encounter, or for when you feel the need to cut yourself to let the darkness out.

    To round out the band and flush out his sound, Darren added former Archers of Loaf drummer Mark Price, producer/guitarist Al Weatherhead, Roger Gupton on bass and Chris Badger on keyboards. Together, these guys have managed to craft some low key, but incredibly impressive songs that I would argue hold up better than anything Ben Folds Five ever accomplished. This is a solid disc throughout, but the best song, and first single, “A.M. Slow Golden Hit,” is mesmerizing. I also really dig “Miles Behind Me,” “I Am A Train,” the Dylan-esque “Stumblin’ Home Winter Blues” and “What You Meant,” a song that blends acoustic guitar and synthesizer to great effect.

    This is truly one of the best, albeit mellow, discs to come out this year, so far, hands down. Pick yourself up a copy.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-BLUE Artist: Blue October
    Album: Foiled
    Bastard Love Child of: Peter Gabriel and Nickelback… that one’s for you, Ryall!
    Best for: Helping you understand that some artists do their best work while totally and completely bat-shit, insane.

    EOY-JUSTIN

    I’m pretty sure they are yelling something about wearing eye shadow to the photo shoot.

    Much like my friend, Justin, I’m sitting here in my dippity-do room at the hospital, typing on the old tuna. They tell me that I recently had some kind of psychotic break, triggered by repeated listenings of John Tesh’s new album “Tunes From A Giant Forhead.” But how can I argue? I love tacos. Talking to the doctor, the one who looks like Dick Cheney, I came to the realization that I can only, truly, find my happy Plah-doh© place if I’m listening to singers who dance like Peter Gabriel. Crazy, huh? Yep, peanut butter! Find me one of those floating in the sky and I’m going to be happier than Michael Jackson on a NAMBLA-sponsored camping trip. Ever hear John Cusack play his raincoat to Kate’s Bush, I mean, Kate Bush? Whatever, porkchop… I will not hurt the nice people. But Peter Gabriel’s music, to me, is about as good as talking envelopes get. Uh oh… here comes the orange nurse with sleep in her hand. What’s that hairy nurse? Time for my pills? But I’m talking to my friend’s right now and I don’ttttttttttttttttttttttttttt…

    Okay… back now… for a bit. Now where was I? Oh yeah… Peter Gabriel. So, right about now you are probably saying to yourself, “Holy shit, that was weird” and “Hey, that’s great, but what exactly does Peter Gabriel have to do with the dude, up there in the picture, wearing the latest from Mabeline’s “˜Trashy Club Whore’ collection?”
    Well, I’ll tell you. See, first, Justin Furstenfeld, that guy up there with a mild case of “gender confusion,” had a little problem with “reality” and was “committed” to an “insane” asylum… like me. Who knew they could commit you for putting too much male nudity up on the internet? Unlike me, he is the lead singer for a hot new group, Blue October, and the dude sounds EXACTLY like Peter Gabriel. And no, I’m not hallucinating again or throwing that comparison around lightly. And yes, I am lucid enough now to know that I’ve said that before, like with the group Elbow, but this time I mean it… kinda like when I tell the girls I date that I’m only going to put it in for a minute and then take it right back out (And, yes, they are having me work through those “lying” issues in therapy, too). I defy you to listen to this band for more than 30 seconds, any song, and tell me that Justin doesn’t sound like a Gabriel clone. And no, junior, I don’t mean that in a bad way.

    EOY-SCREAM

    This is Blue October’s new poster warning of the dangers of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

    I mean it in an “Oh my God, that crazy SOB created an AMAZING disc” way. I’ve always said, when it comes to musicians, and on-line music reviewers, “the wackier the better.” And if this is the kind of material that you can come up with while swatting at imaginary bugs and watching Judge Judy between sponge baths, then I’m all for it. Hell, if this is the kind of output you can have when you’re nuts, I might extend my stay a bit. After all, I get three squares a day here, all the drugs I can take, a free drool-bib and a nice spot down by the duck pond for when I get “too excited.” I’ve even had time to create a list of singers and artists I feel should be committed, too. First up? Easy. Brittany “Baby, You Can Drive My Car” Spears.

    EOY-BRITTANY

    You want crazy? This chick is crazy.

    Bat-shit insane, “cuckoo for Coco Puffs,” Looney as a Tune… whatever… Blue October (consisting of lead vocalist Justin, three or four random voices in his head, violinist/keyboardist Ryan Delahoussaye, drummer Jeremy Furstenfeld, guitarist CB Hudson and bassist Matt Novesky) has crafted a virtually perfect album. Pretty lofty statement, huh? No, I’m still not hallucinating… although I feel the pills wearing off and no, I’m not joking. This disc just surpassed Hotel Lights as my favorite to be released this year. Each and every song here is single-worthy, immediately recognizable, catchy, clever and most importantly, different in both tempo and mood. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m serious. It is truly phenomenal, with a little something for all the different voices in your head. I firmly believe that this is the album that will finally break this band… in a BIG way. You heard it hear first, pudding hand. Uh oh… fading fast… better wrap this up.
    In addition to the first single, “Hate Me,” check out the pencil’s best songs, the melodic and moody “Into the Ocean” and the spank-tastic “X-Amount of Words.” You know, Timmy ate it, too, and he didn’t turn green so you should definitely know that it’s absolutely brilliant. Buy the whole disc and eat it on rye with a slice of pickle. That makes for one, delicious swimming pool!!!

    Rating: 5 out 5

    EOY-CHILI Artist: The Red Hot Chili Peppers
    Album: Stadium Arcadium
    Bastard Love Child of: Funkadelic and a tube sock.
    Best for: Rocking the socks off of your… er, cock.

    EOY-CHILI1

    That’s odd. That one guy’s not wearing a hat.

    Well, considering that most of you have already purchased this amazing, 28-song, double disc, or will soon enough, I thought that I would devote this review space to my new, Chili Pepper’s inspired children’s book, The Cock in the Sock. So, without further ado, move over Dr. Seuss… here comes M.C. Bell:

    One Pepper,

    Two Pepper,

    Three Pepper,

    Four

    The Red Hot Chili Peppers have come back for more.

    They each washed a sock,

    And plopped it on their cock,

    And crafted a some albums that totally ROCK!

    Socks? On Cocks?

    Why, how can that be?

    What do they do if they have to pee?

    And how are they attached?

    With a bow or with glue?

    If they accidentally sit on them,

    Are they covered in poo?

    And how do those socks

    Fit in their pants?

    And do they get tangled

    When the boys dance?

    And sex, yes sex, what about sex?

    Do they take off these socks when they go to have sex?

    Or do they leave them on,

    Like a long, winter coat?

    Do these socks leave lint

    In the back of the throat?

    Well, I’ll tell you what, kids.

    If it were up to me,

    I’d take the sock off

    When it was time to pee.

    And I would attach it

    With a drop of glue.

    And I’d be careful when I sat

    To avoid the poo.

    And I would carefully fold it

    To fit in my pants.

    And keep it that way,

    Even when I dance.

    And in regards to sex, kids,

    It’s simple and clear.

    So lean in close,

    That you may hear.

    “I’ll rip that sock off!”

    You gasp “What for?”

    “Why, that’s the way all your mommies like it,

    Cuz they’re dirty, dirty whores.”

    EOY-PUPPET

    Spunky, the cock puppet

    Pretty good, huh? Honestly, the kid’s are gonna eat this shit up. Oh, and in regards to Stadium Arcadium? It really is as good as advertised. The album does a phenomenal job of bridging the Pepper’s career from punk/funk rockers to emotional balladeers, with my personal favorites being “Tell Me Baby,” “Hard to Concentrate,” “Charlie,” “21st Century” and, of course, “Dani California.” In fact, there isn’t a crappy track on either disc. Good stuff, all the way around.

    Rating: 4.5 out of 5

    EOY-MUSE Artist: Muse
    Album: Black Holes and Revelations
    Bastard Love Child of: Radiohead and Queen.
    Best for: Discovering your own, personal muse. I found mine sitting at the end of a bar wearing a tube top, some acid-wash jeans and a “hicky.”
    EOY-MUSE2

    Black Holes and Revelations, huh? Here’s a revelation for ya’… before I picked up this album, completely at random, I had never heard of Muse. Not one song. Didn’t even know what type of music they played. Sure, I could have checked them out on any number of on-line music services, but where’s the excitement in that? I prefer to grab the bull by the balls… with my teeth, so to speak. But hey, that’s what I’m here for, people… to take bullets for you. Luckily, I didn’t have to on this album because it kicks ass. In fact, I have to say, I’m all over Muse like bad tattoos on Travis Barker.

    Seriously, I dig the hell out of this disc. Each and every song stands out from the last and each is driven perfectly by the powerful voice of lead singer Matthew Bellamy. For instance, on the first single, the electronica-heavy “Supermassive Black Holes,” Bellamy hits notes that a pair of properly descended testicles just can’t produce. Then, just to prove that statement wrong, Bellamy drops into a throaty, Jeff Buckley impersonation on “Take a Bow.” Sneaky bastard.

    The disc features a ton of electronic elements and quirky instrumention, all handled admirably by Bellamy, drummer Dominic Howard and bassist Chris Wolstenhome, but don’t get the wrong idea here. This is not an electronica album (see below). In fact, even though that first single reminds me of a shopping trip to Abercrombie & Fitch (the roomy shorts allow “the boys” a nice bit of breathing room, thank you very much), the album is largely guitar driven with that one track designed, with tongue firmly in check, to freak the shit out of long time fans. No other track on the disc is remotely like it.

    If you are looking for an experimental, yet highly listenable and enjoyable album that will run the gamut from moody Depeche Mode (“Map of the Problematique”) to Bends-era Radiohead (“Soldiers Poem”) to classic Queen (“Knights of Cydonia”), check this one out. Top shelf, folks.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-ROSECD Artist: Rose Hill Drive
    Album: Rose Hill Drive
    Bastard Love Child of: Led Zeppelin and Triumph (the band, not the insult comic dog).
    Best for: Proving that the Denver music scene actually has something “meaty” to offer.

    I’ll be the first to admit that Denver (et al) is hardly a “musical hot spot” here in the U.S., ESPECIALLY when you compare it to places like L.A., Chicago, New York, Nashville or, umm… Dubuque. I mean, sure, we gave the world The Foggy Mountain Fuckers, Lying Bitch and the Restraining Orders and, of course, The Fray, who single-handedly caused the automobile-related instances of dry-humping, crazed fingerings and awkward oral in the teenage population to sky-rocket, but otherwise, we haven’t had a whole lot to offer the world, musically speaking. Until now.

    EOY-ROSE

    Starting a few years back, there was a buzz around town centered on a hot, new power trio that was tearing up bars in and around their hometown of Boulder, Colorado. Named after the street where they grew up, Rose Hill Drive, featuring brothers Daniel (19) and Jake (21) Sproul on lead guitar and bass, respectively, and childhood bud, Nate Barnes (21), behind the kit, had quickly managed to become the “must-see” band in the Denver area. So see them I did. Twice. And let me tell you, friends… holy shit. I still get chills (and there multiplyin’… it’s electrifyin’!) thinking back to the first time I saw these boys play. Think: the intensity of live Zeppelin with the virtuoso performances of Rush… heady comparisons, I know, especially invoking the names of two of my all-time favorite bands, but I’m not joking. I hadn’t seen anything like it in quite some time.

    Needless to say, I have been anxiously awaiting the release of this groups self-titled, debut album for some time now. And, after giving it a few, initial run-throughs, I gotta say… I’m a bit disappointed. Wait, wait… NOT in the way that you might think. This new disc is packed with an amazing array of songs that alternate between pure, driving, riff-laden rock anthems to bluesy, pure-toned ballads. Numerous songs on this disc, namely the album opener, “Showdown,” with it’s in-your-face guitar riff and the driving, “Raise Your Hands,” have an immediate and classic feel that will make you fully understand the Zeppelin reference above. On the contrary, this disc has shown a melodic sensibility and musical craftsmanship that I wouldn’t have expected from these “kids.”

    EOY-ROSE2

    And there in lies the rub. You see, as good as this disc is, (oh, and it IS good, nay, great) it does ZERO justice to the insane and blistering live shows that these guys put on. THAT is a crying shame. Sure, it’s hard to capture the type of energy that these guys put out on stage in a studio setting, but I’m betting that a more raw, less polished production would have served these guys better on this outing. Yes, I’m a nit-picky little bitch. Whatever. Luckily, with the recent resurgence of the classic rock sound and the success of bands like Wolfmother, Rose Hill Drive is destined for stardom and will undoubtedly have ample time to experiment with this notion next time out. Seriously, folks, I highly recommend this disc, but understand this… it pales in comparison to their live shows.

    Rating: 5 out of 5

    EOY-MAIDEN Artist: Iron Maiden
    Album: A Matter Of Life And Death
    Bastard Love Child of: Black Sabbath and King Crimson.
    Best for: Pumping up your “street cred” at the local Hot Topic by cruising in there with an ACTUAL concert shirt.

    EOY-TAP

    No… this is not a scene from Spinal Tap II. But it easily could be.

    I’m not ashamed to tell you that, much like pubic hair, I came into Iron Maiden late. Then again, having Iron Maiden in my life has never made a “clean wipe” a challenge, so maybe that’s a bad comparison. Whatever. I guess my point here is that I never gave Iron Maiden’s music a fair shake until well into my college years; always dismissing them as a “poor man’s Sabbath.” Hey, fuck off. I never said I was a smart man, Jenny.

    EOY-GUMP

    Needless to say, in the years since “my discovery,” I have actually become a big fan of the band, more so of the band WITH Dickinson, and have been anxiously awaiting the release of this, their 14th studio album, A Matter Of Life And Death. So, right about now, you are probably asking yourself “was it worth the wait?” Well, chuckle nuts, I’m glad you asked.

    EOY-EDDIE

    My girlfriend… PMS-ing.

    Quite simply, this is the best Maiden disc in years. Hell, I’d gladly argue that it is the strongest album that Maiden has released since the “˜80’s and it is EASILY one of the best metal discs I’ve heard this year. I mean, sure, the band is getting a little long in the tooth, but it doesn’t show in the music. Not in the least. Dickinson’s voice is as strong as ever and the impressive, 3-guitar attack of Dave Murray, Adrian Smith and Janick Gers delivers enough punch to make your sphincter tighten. I’m not sure what that really means… I just like the word “sphincter.”

    The band has always had progressive leanings, but on this album, they lean a bit harder as they switch up tempos, keys and styles while galloping through the 10, epic songs on this 70+ minute disc. All of the songs are engaging with soaring melodies and catchier-than-usual choruses, but my personal favorites include the slow-burning The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg, the punishing Different World and the driving The Longest Day.

    This album is a must-have for any fan of good, old-fashioned, ass-kicking metal.

    Rating: 4.5 out of 5

    EOY-BECK Artist: Beck
    Album: The Information
    Bastard Love Child of: Beck’s Sea Change and Mellow Gold.
    Best for: Seeing what else Beck can do with two turn-tables and a microphone.

    For those of you out there who went “old school” and picked up the actual CD of Beck’s new album, The Information, you know that in addition to the cheesy, home-made videos included for all of the songs, the disc comes with a “blank” cover and a bunch of stickers so that you can customize it to your liking. See that cover up there? Sure, that’s somebody’s vision of what the cover SHOULD look like. But it’s not MY vision. Au contraire, mon frere. I used those stickers to make my disc cover look like this…

    EOY-POOH

    Umm… need a mint?

    Now, this may come as a surprise to some of you out there, but Beck is a weird, fucking little monkey. But you know? It is precisely that weirdness, coupled with tongue-in-check unpredictability, that makes his music so damn cool and so damn different that I couldn’t help but become a huge fan (just thought I’d put this critique into context for you. You’re welcome.) I mean, where else can you hear pop, hip-hop, country, folk, funk, experimental jazz, arcade bleeps and lounge music all on the same album? Nowhere, that’s where. Okay, maybe on a Bjork disc… whatever, smart ass.

    EOY-BECK2

    As a fan of Beck Hanson, the one thing that I have come to expect from each, new album is something unexpected and, in that regard, this new disc actually disappoints a bit. However, in this case, that’s hardly a bad thing. Hearkening back to his Mellow Gold days, The Information revisits Beck’s more “eclectic” days, but wisely chooses to sprinkle in some of the melodic ballads found on more recent albums, most notably, Sea Change. The overall effect is mesmerizing. In fact, there are some tracks on this disc that represent some of the finest work Beck has ever done; a fact I attribute to the return of producer Niles Godrich (ever hear of a band called Radiohead?) and his spacey production style.

    Highlights of the disc include the pop-synth perfection of “Soldier Jane”, the Primal Scream-invoking “Cellphone’s Dead” (check out “Loaded” from Screamadelica… good shit right there, my ecstasy-poppin’ little pals), “Strange Apparition” and my personal favorite, the trippy, moody “Dark Star.” There is a lot to like, nay, love, on this album, regardless of whether or not you’re a fan, but before you think I’m just jacking Beck off with long, slow strokes here, I gotta be honest with you. I absolutely LOATHE the song “1000bpm.” Okay, maybe I don’t loathe it, but I’m pretty sure that song, much like Mary Hart’s voice, gave me a seizure. Seriously. I remember hitting “play” on that track and then the next thing I know, I woke up on the floor with a sore tongue, foam in my mouth and shit in my pants. Of course, I suppose that might have been the Jaeger. But again, whatever.

    eoy-potty

    So… do you rub her nose in it and smack her with a rolled up newspaper for doing that to the couch?

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    EOY-ENIGK Artist: Jeremy Enigk
    Album: World Waits
    Bastard Love Child of: Sunny Day Real Estate and and the sweet, angelic voice of a little baby Jesus.
    Best for: Taking a contemplative moment to wonder, “Seriously… What WOULD Jesus do?”

    EOY-JEREMY

    The fact that Jeremy Enigk is NOT a household name is one of the great tragedies of our modern times. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it is one of the signs of the Apocalypse… right between the whole “raining frogs” thing and Paris Hilton’s popularity. Oh, by the way, speaking of Paris, I guess you can “hire” her for a $100,000 to host your New Year’s Eve party. Hmm… I wonder if a video tape of you and her having awkward, fumbling sex later that night is included? Either way, I recommend pocketing the cash and spending the evening with a 1X6 with a blonde wig stapled to the top. The conversation will be more lively, the night more fun and the sex… about the same… umm, from what I’ve seen. But I digress.

    EOY-PARIS

    Now, for the sake of those of you out there who have no frickin’, (yes, I just typed frickin’ in a vain attempt to “clean up my act”), clue as to who Jeremy Enigk is, let me briefly fill you in. He is the ethereal-voiced ex-lead singer of emo-core pioneers Sunny Day Real Estate (GREAT fucking band… yes, I just typed “fucking”… the attempt to clean up my act “didn’t take”), current lead singer of The Fire Theft (when he feels like it) and full-time, speakin’-in-tongues, rattlesnake-throwin’ Jesus freak. His favorite color is mauve, he has a Shitzu named Earl and he can break up a band faster than Yoko Ono. *Editor’s note: M.C. has no fucking clue what Jeremy’s favorite color is or if he even has a dog. He does, however, tend to break up his bands much like that evil harpy Yoko.*

    EOY-TIDE

    Jeremy also happens to possess one of the most uniquely impressive voices that I have ever heard and his last effort with Sunny Day Real Estate, The Rising Tide, with it’s swelling orchestration, impressive guitar work and, of course, Jeremy’s tremendous vocal range, is easily in my top 25 and, I would argue, a “must own” album. And many of those same elements, minus the meaty guitar work of phenom Dan Hoener , are present on this new solo album, World Waits. However, without Dan, the album never quite kicks out of the more mellow-melodic groove of Jeremy’s work with The Fire Theft. No, this is not a bad thing. In fact, as the tracks on this overly short disc progress, fans of Jeremy’s work and any of it’s various iterations will easily recognize elements from Sunny Day’s Rising Tide or Diary and The Fire Theft disc. And this really kicks ass. For you non-fans? Hmm… honestly, for the uninitiated, I could see Jeremy’s, whinny-at-times timbre irritating the holy hell out of you. I would recommend that you pick up The Rising Tide first to get acclimated to his sound (and because you should own it) and in a friendlier (read: more accessible) environment. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want a superb disc from an under-appreciated artist, grab a copy of World Waits and let it grow on you like a cold sore on Albert Pujols lip (Thanks HDTV!!). You won’t be disappointed.
    To check out the best songs on the disc, minus the spooky-as-hell “Damien Dreams,” hit Jeremy’s MySpace page… www.myspace.com/jeremyenigk.

    Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (only because it’s too, damn short)

    Well, folks, my fun meter is pegged so that’s going to do it for this time out and, actually, for the year. But stay tuned, friends, for we will be back after the first of the year with a new, streamlined, weekly column and an occasional podcast. It’s going to be a kick.

    Until then, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!!

    Send cheese graters, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:
    M.C. Bell
    P.O. Box 1222
    Arvada, CO 80001

    QSE News: 12/21/2006

    Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:12 am
    quickstopnews.jpg
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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

    • qsnews.jpgMadonna is set to direct a boxing movie called Blade To The Heart. After successfully setting back the art of acting thirty years by her performances in Die Another Day and Swept Away, it’s only natural that she would want to do the same for the art of directing.
    • In Beatles news, the FBI has released all documents pertaining to investigations concerning formerly alive songwriter John Lennon. Among the surprise revelations in the papers is the fact that Lennon was not a Conservative and did not approve of the Vietnam war. The FBI files on Ringo Starr remain uninteresting.
    • To go along with the recent influx of geriatric rock, the band Rush has announced that they are putting the finishing touches on a new studio album.  The concept album, called Hold Your Bladder, will feature unnecessarily lengthy songs that tell the story of three, aged and incontinent musicians who discover that their music hasn’t been relevant for over 30 years.
    • Putting the “Ew” in news, it has been confirmed that stars Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are dating.  Stone, 48 and Slater, 37 began dating after starring together in the movie Bobby. Slater commented on the relationship in a recent interview by saying “I just wasn’t looking for a challenge. I’m pretty sick of trying to seduce women. I just wanted a sure thing and. . .well, come on.  Sharon Stone.  Hello?  Ten years ago calling?  Easy money, people.  Easy money.”
    • And finally, in other recording news, the Black Eyed Peas have recorded a “fun” new album. The band took to heart the voice of their fan collective that said the world was sick of hearing such politically and religiously charged anthems as “Let’s Get Retarded” and “My Humps.”
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

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    December 20, 2006

    Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/21/2006

    Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:54 pm
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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • Jet Screamer, pop idol of the future… (Thingamabob)
    • Go get your very own copy of the audiobook for John Hodgman’s Areas of My Expertise for free on iTunes, NOW! (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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    “Code Monkey” Remix Contest Winners!

    Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:50 am
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    codemonkey-04.jpgFirst off, on behalf of Jonathan Coulton & Quick Stop Entertainment, many thanks to everyone who took the time out to enter our “Code Monkey” remix contest. It was hard for our judges to pick the winners, but after many listens, a few fistfights, and some harsh words, our winners are:

    • Kristen Shirts
    • Russell Pickett
    • Cort Stratton
    • Ken Wagman

    Below, you’ll be able to play (or download – your choice!) the winning tracks, and thanks again to everyone who participated. Be sure to keep an eye out in the coming months for another cool bit of interactivity between Coulton and Quick Stop…

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    Take Me Home Blog #17: CRITICS – A Critical Approach

    Filed under: Production Blogs,Take Me Home Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:29 am
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    (NOTE TO MY READERS: I apologize for the “hiatus”. No, I was not sipping wassail high in the Alps somewhere, but working fruitlessly on auditions and a rough edit of the short. It shall not happen again.)

    SECOND OPINIONS
    Parked at a cafe smack-dab in the middle of Hollywood, I peeled open an LAWeekly to the film section. If you’re unfamiliar with the newspaper, LAWeekly is the largest free newspaper in Los Angeles, much like The Village Voice in NYC. I was curious what critics thought of Darren Aronofsky’s latest mind-bender, The Fountain. After two paragraphs, it dawned on me: I was reading not a review, but an indictment:

    “In truth, The Fountain is closer to one of those vomitous fantasy romances, like Somewhere in Time or this past summer’s The Lake House, where the two lovers are so destined to be together that neither time nor space nor plain old common sense can keep them apart. The only viewers who risk having their minds blown are those who didn’t have much of one to start with.”
    Scott Foundas, LAWeekly
    Wednesday, November 22, 2006

    OOH, NO HE DIDN’T! Listen, you KNOW it’s a good review when the writer takes the time to insult not only the film, but the film’s audience. Go git ’em, Scott!! Being part of that audience, I can’t help but wonder what was behind Mr. Foundas’s onslaught. Like the Michael Richards meltdown a few weeks prior, you have to imagine there’s some bad blood there. Maybe not between Foundas and Aronofsky, the director, but between Foundas and Aronofsky’s exalted concepts of love.

    BAD LOVE
    I’ll be the first to admit that the “I did it for all for love” storyline isn’t my favorite; it’s usually the most heavy-handed and often over-reaching. I still believe that no better love story exists than in The Empire Strikes Back. There’s charm, there’s chemistry, then Han gets frozen in carbonite. THAT’S a love story. But if you think The Fountain is just a love story going in, you’d be wrong.

    The problem with professional criticism is that there is no constant. For example, the cumulative critic site Metacritic averaged out reviews for The Fountain at about the same level as those received for Saw III and Open Season and way below The Ant Bully. So, according to the reviews, we should run out and see a hugely disappointing star-fest like Bobby rather than the most ambitious film of the year.

    Trying to review The Fountain like all other films is a waste. Two minutes into the movie, you understand that this is not your typical “vomitous” love story. It’s more like the director’s cut of your most lucid dream: it may not make perfect sense, but coming back to the real world is a bit of a letdown.

    So why was Scott Foundas so miffed about this time-spanning, love-knows-no-bounds escapade? In the same article, he gave a warmer reception to another romance, Flannel Pajamas, about the long and slow demise of a relationship. Which is more true to life? Can I say, “C. All of the above”?

    It’s one thing to cut down a movie for missing its mark, but for sharing a dissenting view? Of LOVE?! I have an image in my head of Mr. Foundas in an argument with his spouse:

    MRS. FOUNDAS: Hey, Hon. I’m glad you’re home.

    SCOTT FOUNDAS: WHY? So you can suffocate me with your lofty expectations? YOU SICKEN ME! Oh sure, you’re glad now. What about in a year, when I’ve gained a little weight? When the paper fires me? When it all goes to pot, you’re saying you’ll be right there by my side?! OH, SPARE ME!!

    MRS. FOUNDAS: Did you pick up the dry cleaning?

    SCOTT FOUNDAS: I AM NOT A MACHINE, TINA!!!

    TIS THE SEASON
    Yes, love hurts. Yes, relationships are work. But the people I know who look at love with optimism are, surprise, surprise, happier in their relationships. So here’s a perfect idea for the yuletide. Let us all be young, ignorant lovers. Let us, this holiday season, act like we did before the weight of the world crushed our shoulders. Leave Mr. Foundas’s musings of emptiness for January. They have no place here. Pass the wassail! Let’s hear it for the hopeless romantic!

    -Sam Jaeger

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    QSE News: 12/20/2006

    Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:22 am
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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

    • qsnews.jpgRingo Starr is set to “tell-all“ in an upcoming documentary for British TV. Topics for the documentary will likely include revelations about Starr’s true role with the Beatles. “I wrote every song. And sang every song. And played all the instruments. Please believe me. Please like me.”
    • The book publisher who tapped O.J. Simpson to write a tell-all book has been fired for making anti-Semitic comments.  Judith Regan supposedly lamented to a lawyer that there was a “Jewish cabal” against her in the publishing community.  Regan’s lawyer has called the allegations “completely untrue,” adding that his client “has NEVER had an anti-Semitic bone in her body.  Pro-Semitic bones?  Sure.  Tons.  Especially after a couple of apple-tinis.”
    • It’s been announced that geek god Bryan Singer may direct the new television drama Football Wives for ABC.  The series, which is a remake of the British show Footballers’ Wives, promises to deliver the same amount of drama and intrigue that the original series did, only his version will be centered on an actual sport”¦ not soccer.
    • Heavyweight singer Ruben Studdard, who recently lost over 100 pounds, is trying to get residents of Alabama to commit to losing 10 pounds each.  To help the people who make the pledge, Studdard has sought the help of renowned celebrity weight loss expert Nicole Richie.
    • In a sad bit of news, beloved animator Joe Barbera, co-creator of such iconic cartoon characters as Tom and Jerry, Scooby-Doo and the Flinstones, passed away Monday from natural causes.  A memorial service is being planned, and it is expected that there will not be a dry eye in the house as George Jetson pushes the button on the side of the coffin to fold it into a little suitcase before it is carried out of the church.
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

    ##

    Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/20/2006

    Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:11 am
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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • Neil Cicierega escapes from the basement… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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    December 19, 2006

    Toy Box: He’s Such a Jughead…

    Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 1:56 am
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    During the Golden Age of comic books, back when Superman, Batman and Captain America were keeping the world safe for democracy, there was another comic book just about being a goofy teenager. Archie Andrews hit the pages of Pep Comics in 1941, as an attempt by the publisher to tap into the same crowd that liked the Mickey Rooney film character, Andy Hardy.

    Archie hung out with his homies, Veronica, Betty and of course, Jughead. His real first name is ‘Forsythe’, so it’s no wonder he prefered going by Jughead. Best known for being Archie’s best friend, and for his ability to eat huge quantities of food and yet never gain weight, and wearing his trademark crown.

    Diamond Select is doing a set of busts based on the Archie Comics, including Archie, Veronica, Betty, Reggie, and of course, Juggs. Each retails for around $40 – $45, and you should check your local comic shop or my suggestions at the end of the review for a retailer.

    “Archie Comics – Jughead Jones mini-bust”

    These mini-busts are considered ‘modern’ versions of the characters. I’m not sure what the modern moniker is supposed to mean, but the style does appear to have a slightly more recent feel.

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    Packaging – ***
    As you might guess, he comes in a box. Like some of the recent Marvel Icons mini’s, he is packed in a plastic tray inside the box, rather than a styrofoam insert. The plastic tray seems to work well, and does allow for a clear view of the bust through the window in the box.

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    There’s also a nicely done large scale Certificate of Authenticity, noting the edition number. The edition number is also on the bottom of the box, and on the back of the bust itself. Jughead was a limited run of just 600.

    Sculpting/Design – ***1/2
    The sculpt captures the look and feel of the books, with enough retro style to make fans happy. Old needle nose looks like his goofy self, although I’m more accostumed to seeing the crown sit off to one side of his head, rather than straight.

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    Archie is wearing his usual turtleneck, and the bust reaches only to his waist. He has his hands stuffed into his pockets, another common trait of Jughead. The base itself is a drum with the Riverdale school flag. The drum base is used for all the busts, but is particularly good for Jughead, since he was the drummer in their band, The Archies.

    Of particular note is the DA he’s sporting in back. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a DA, but I think it’s just about time for a comeback.

    Paint – ***
    The general quality of the paint is good, with very little in the way of poor definition, bleed or stray marks. Coverage over the large areas – like the skin or sweater – is even and consistent in coverage, and the colors themselves are also nice and consistent. I am thrown a bit by the blue sweater, as I remember him wearing orange most often, but he was a man of many styles. As long as the style involved a crown and a sweater with a big “s” on the front.

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    One of the odd features here is that because the base of the bust under the drum is a) small and b) round, they’ve elected to print the relevant info (edition size, etc.) on the back of the drum. It looks good though, if unusual.

    Value – **1/2
    Most mini-busts in this scale – Jugs clocks in at about 6 1/4″ tall – run in this same $40 – $45 range. Of course, the small run size also tends to drive the price up, but it’s unlikely that anyone will get trampled in their efforts to snag one off the shelf. Archie fans are devoted, but outside that circle, poor Jughead is probably lost to antiquity.

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    Things to Watch Out For –
    Zippo. Odds of anything breaking under normal use is pretty remote, and there’s nothing about this guy that isn’t self explanatory. Except why he didn’t like women. But I’m sure there’s been books written about what that REALLY means.

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    Overall – ***
    One of the beautiful things about the current high end pop culture collectibles market is that just about any property or license is fair game. Things are getting made in bust, sixth scale, and statue formats that you never would have anticipated. Good old Jughead (along with Archie and the rest of the gang) are a wonderful example. If you’re not a lifetime fan of the old comics and radio show, then you’re probably not going to have any interest in the mini-busts. But if you are, your ship just came in.

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    Where to buy –
    Your local comic shop might have these guys, or you can try:

    The Diamond Select Toys site itself has them available for sale at $45 each.

    – If you’re in the U.K., Forbidden Planet has him available at 35 pounds.

    Related Links –
    Honestly, I don’t have a single review to link to of any other Archie product. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

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