Tag: paul-and-storm

  • Live at Dragon Con 2013: Thank God You’re Here

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    Aaron Fever and the multi-talented Joseph Scrimshaw put on an improv comedy show of epic proportions at Dragon Con 2013. It featured the talents of James Urbaniak, Bill Corbett, Paul & Storm, Mike Phirman, and Phil LaMarr with special appearances by Phil Plait, Ken Plume, and Molly Lewis. Somehow we were able to fit that all star line-up into just 20 minutes. If you weren’t there, fret not! Because now you can watch it in 720p (whatever that means) online! As many times as you’d like.

    Bit of a warning, there were some problems with the audio on the night so you might have issues with it in patches but hopefully not enough to take-away from the show.

    Video Credits:-
    Directed by Jon Boutelle
    Filmed by The Unique Geeks
    Edited by Aaron Poole

  • My Favourite Things: January 2013

    my-favourite-things

    JANUARY

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    Well, that’s the first month of the year done and dusted. I’ve been broke as hell, just like everyone else I’m sure. The weather has been brutal. It’s been a typical January, pretty much.

    Thank god it’s over.

    1) Light On Their Feet

    I love puns… Where was I? Oh yes, the following video was submitted to me by the lovely JJ Hawkins who was super impressed by this dance show with a twist. I have to say I must agree with him as the choreography mixed with the timing of the lights produces something rather cool.

    Although you may want to throttle the kid screaming beside the camera before the end.

    2) The Death Star Petition

    It’s been a somewhat controversial thing but The White House’s petition website has, if nothing else, offered a few laughs. People have been petitioning for anything between deporting Piers Morgan or secession from the union. By a mile, my favourite so far has been the request to build a Death Star.

    If these petitions get enough signatures The White House has to give a formal response and gloriously the Death Star request did. The response is nothing short of inspired. This is how it starts…

    death-star-response

    … to read the full thing, and you really should read it all, CLICK THIS LINK.

    3) Maximus Thor

    If I’m honest, I have no idea what’s going on at the Maximus Thor YouTube channel but I can tell you that I find it hilarious and awesome.

    Maximus Thor is a young child with the voice of and old man who talks smack and gets into odd situations. That’s as much as I can tell you. Seriously, after that, I’m lost. Here’s an example:

    Yeah. Go watch all the videos. They’re great.

    4) Learning Town

    Paul & Storm are wonderful friends of our site (well, Storm is) and we were super excited to see them get their own YouTube show on the Geek & Sundry channel. It’s called Learning Town and is the type of musical comedy you’d expect from the duo. So far three episodes have been released and you can watch the first one below.

    5) Finding Your Religion

    I’m a big fan of R.E.M.. I’ve been lucky enough to see them in concert a number of times and even held hands with Michael Stipe (the story is much less interesting than the statement). Everyone knows their song Losing My Religion but thanks to the wonderful techno nerds of the internet someone has gone to the trouble of changing all the minor notes in the song to major ones, including Stipe’s vocals.

    The result is nothing short of hypnotic as an old familiar friends is suddenly transformed. It becomes a rather uplifting, positive song despite itself. Check it out.

    ——————————————————————

    And that’s it! My favourite things of the last month.

    Aaron Poole is the creator of jive turkeys. He is also more accurately an internet whore and rarely leaves the house. If you like what you read here check out his blog http://aaronfever.blogspot.com

  • Hands Down #12

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    Welcome to Hands Down, FRED’s own look into the world of the folks that frequent this sordid world of geekery. Follow Aaron, Brian and Colin (and a menagerie on the way) as they traverse the light fantastic or some such nonsense… What? It’s an online fortnightly comic strip, what kind of description did you expect?

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    Enter The HANDS DOWN Competition

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    VISIT THE HANDS DOWN ARCHIVES

    Follow Hands Down on Twitter

    Written by Aaron Poole. Art by John Merker. Copyright 2010.

  • Masters Of Song Fu #6: Round 1 Challengers and Challenge Revealed

    songfu.png

    We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

    At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

    MASTER OF SONG FU

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    However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here’s the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo

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    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

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    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

    Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

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    SPENCER SOKOL

    Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
    Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol

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    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

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    CALEB HINES

    Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

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    BOFFO YUX DUDES

    The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
    Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes

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    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. 🙂 If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
    Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

    Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni

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    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

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    IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

    Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
    Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com

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    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

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    GOVERNING DYNAMICS

    Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
    Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris

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    ZER0GUY

    Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

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    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

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    DAVE LEIGH & WILLIAM HOOVER

    Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.
    Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music

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    COMMON LISP

    Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
    Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com

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    GLEN RAPHAEL

    Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
    Official Website: youtube.com/glenra

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    INVERSE T. CLOWN

    Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
    Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown

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    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall

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    TARYN MILLER

    Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
    Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to mail @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, February 7th, 2010.

    Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010.

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #6: Sign-Up Begins…

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    We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    From now until 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, JANUARY 30th, we’ll be accepting sign-ups from any and all musicians across this here internet. We have 20 slots open – All you have to do is be one of the first 20 to apply via the form below, and you’re in. THE LIST OF CHALLENGERS AND THE FIRST TASK WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1st, 2010.

    Once those participants have been announced, the showdown will commence.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

    At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

    MASTER OF SONG FU

    lucyline.gif

    However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

    lucyline.gif

    And if you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Remember, you must be able to realize a song both lyrically and musically. This competition is open to both singer/songwriters and bands – but since space is limited, only enter if you truly accept the challenge. As stated above, we’ll be accepting the first 20 valid applications we receive.
    [ad#contestbox]

    Are you ready to bring your Fu? If so, fill out the form below:

    SIGN-UP FOR THIS ROUND HAS CLOSED. CHALLENGERS WILL BE NOTIFIED VIA E-MAIL BY THURSDAY, JANUARY 28th, & THE FIRST CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1st. PLEASE NOTE: EVEN IF YOU DID NOT MAKE IT IN AS A FORMAL CHALLENGER FOR THIS EDITION, SHADOW ENTRIES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

    Note: Competitors will be notified via e-mail of their selection.
    If you have any problems submitting your entry via the form above, you can also e-mail the entry information to
    mail @ asitecalledfred.com (taking out the spaces, naturally) with the subject line “Song Fu”.

  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: The Winner Revealed!

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    We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the 1st Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

    So what was the 2nd Challenge?

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a number.

    That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

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    So what was the 3rd Challenge?

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

    Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

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    And now, the big announcement. Due to holiday scheduling issues, the Master for this edition of Song Fu was not able to compete. Therefore, the Challenger with the most votes has been declared the winner, and has become a Master of Song Fu – joining past Challengers Molly Lewis and Berg & Jerry. Despite not getting a go at a Master, our winner decided to do a Final Round song anyway – and you’ll find that below, preceeded by some comments about the song in question, straight from the newly-minted Master, who has won not only the remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, but has also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    THE MASTER OF SONG FU #5

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

    When thinking of what to do as a final song, I thought back to my first real Song Fu challenge – “Write a Happy Song” – and, as this win had a hint of bittersweetnes about it, I thought I would flip that first challenge around and “Write a Sad Song”…

    …this is it. Thanks to Ken for the Fu, and to all the regs at TooMuchAwesome for inspiration!

    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:2
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Ghoul Tide
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-ghoul_tide.mp3]
    FINAL SONG:Life is Hard (… then you die)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-life_is_hard_then_you_die.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING

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    ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”23″]

    View Results

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”22″]

    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    SIGN-UPS FOR MASTERS OF SONG FU #6 WILL COMMENCE ON MONDAY, JANUARY 25th

    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 3 Challenge Voting Begins!

    songfu.png

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    lucyline.gif

    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the 1st Challenge?

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

    So what was the 2nd Challenge?

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a number.

    That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

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    So what was the 3rd Challenge?

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

    Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

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    You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers below (plus a pair of out-of-competition shadow entries), followed by the Round 3 voting form…

    THE CHALLENGERS

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:The Night Before
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/edric_haleen-the_night_before.mp3]

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

    ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:3455316008
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:A Gift from Godz Poodlz
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/godz_poodlz-a_gift_from_godz_poodlz.mp3]

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:1998
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:After I Have Gone
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/manticess-after_i_have_gone.mp3]

    JALAPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Pi
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Rudolph The Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jalapeno_habaneros-rudolph_the_red.mp3]

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:(All Because I’m) Not With My Heart
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jubilee_jews-all_because_im_not_with_my_heart.mp3]

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

    ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:0
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Lament
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/peter_benedict-lament.mp3]

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

    ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Snow Day
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/josh_holober-ward-snow_day.mp3]

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:2
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Ghoul Tide
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-ghoul_tide.mp3]

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

    ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Six (I Am Not A Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Ewoks
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/lex_vader-ewoks.mp3]

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

    ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Finals Week
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/caleb_hines-finals_week.mp3]

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

    ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:203012
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Let It Snow, Like We Have a Choice
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/zeroguy-let_it_snow_like_we_have_a_choice.mp3]

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Number Nine!
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Jesus Christ At Christmas Time
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jonathan_mann-jesus_christ_at_christmas_time.mp3]

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

    ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:7.5
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Dead Week (A Song About Failure)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/sara_parsons-dead_week_a_song_about_failure.mp3]

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

    ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Salvation Army
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/chas_lilly-salvation_army.mp3]

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

    ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:8
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Snow Drift
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/kylie_petto-snow_drift.mp3]

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Dear Santa
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/alex_taylor-dear_santa.mp3]

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

    ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Holy Daze
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/simmbiosis-holy_daze.mp3]

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    ROUND 2 SONG:Four 5ths
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Mistakes Were Made
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/denise_hudson-mistakes_were_made.mp3]

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:My Epic Battle With Gravity
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/steve-chatterton-my-epic-battle-with-gravity.mp3]

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#414 Nick Nolte
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Festivus! (For The Rest Of Us)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/gorbzilla-festivus_for_the_rest_of_us.mp3]

    CRAIG RICHIE

    At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
    ROUND 1 SONG:#275 Mr. Owen Daylight
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:The Christmas Beers
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/craig_richie-the_christmas_beers.mp3]

    SPENCER SOKOL

    Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
    Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
    ROUND 1 SONG:#298 Mr. Deadend
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Unfinished
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/spencer_sokol-unfinished.mp3]

    IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

    Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
    Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]
    ROUND 3 SONG:Paulie The Black Nosed Reindeer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/ian_two_shades_johnson-paulie_the_black_nosed_reindeer.mp3]

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    SHADOW ENTRIES

    BOFFO YUX DUDES

    The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
    Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
    ROUND 3 SONG:Our Winter Love
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/shadow_entry-boffo_yux_dudes-our_winter_love.mp3]

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.
    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 3 SONG:The Elf’s Lament
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/shadow_entry-mike_lombardo-the_elfs_lament.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”23″]

    View Results

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 3 Challenge Revealed!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

    So what was the 2nd Challenge?

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a number.

    That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 2 voting (it ends on December 6th, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is!

    THE CHALLENGERS

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

    ROUND 1 SONG:#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Natural 18
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jason_morris-natural_18.mp3]

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

    ROUND 1 SONG:#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:300
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-300.mp3]

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

    ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:3455316008
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

    ROUND 1 SONG:#666 Tommy Dickfish
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/bram_tant-five.mp3]

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:1998
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]

    JALAPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Pi
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.
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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

    ROUND 1 SONG:#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Me & 23
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/timothy_rush-me_and_23.mp3]

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

    ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:0
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

    ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]

    AARON Z

    Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

    Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#590 Harvey Rupert Elder
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/aaron_z-five.mp3]

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:2
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

    ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Six (I Am Not A Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

    ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

    ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:203012
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Number Nine!
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

    ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:7.5
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

    ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

    ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:8
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]

    GIFTED GEAR

    I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#580 Old Man Hades
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Eight
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/gifted_gear-eight.mp3]

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

    ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    ROUND 2 SONG:Four 5ths
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

    Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, December 13th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

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    ROUND 2 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”22″]

    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

    So what was the 2nd Challenge?

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a number.

    That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, followed by the Round 2 voting form…

    THE CHALLENGERS

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

    ROUND 1 SONG:#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Natural 18
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jason_morris-natural_18.mp3]

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

    ROUND 1 SONG:#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:300
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-300.mp3]

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

    ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:3455316008
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

    ROUND 1 SONG:#666 Tommy Dickfish
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/bram_tant-five.mp3]

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:1998
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]

    JALAPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Pi
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.
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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

    ROUND 1 SONG:#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Me & 23
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/timothy_rush-me_and_23.mp3]

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

    ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:0
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

    ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]

    AARON Z

    Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

    Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#590 Harvey Rupert Elder
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Five
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/aaron_z-five.mp3]

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:2
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

    ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Six (I Am Not A Number)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

    ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

    ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:203012
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

    ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Number Nine!
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

    ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:7.5
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

    ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

    ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:8
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:i
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]

    GIFTED GEAR

    I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

    Official Website: NONE

    ROUND 1 SONG:#580 Old Man Hades
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Eight
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/gifted_gear-eight.mp3]

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

    ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    ROUND 2 SONG:Four 5ths
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”22″]

    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 2 Challenge Revealed!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 1 voting (it ends on November 22nd, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    GOVERNING DYNAMICS

    Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
    Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#288 Polly The Exhumer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/governing_dynamics-288-polly_the_exhumer.mp3]

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
    Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]

    TYLER MASSEY

    Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
    Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
    Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
    ROUND 1 SONG:#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/tyler_massey-429-mr_roughfingers.mp3]

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
    ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
    ROUND 1 SONG:#666 Tommy Dickfish
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jarrett_heather-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:#471 Mr. Armskin
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/audiomohel-471-mr_armskin.mp3]

    JALAPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.
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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
    ROUND 1 SONG:#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#414 Nick Nolte
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]

    CRAIG RICHIE

    At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
    ROUND 1 SONG:#275 Mr. Owen Daylight
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
    ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]

    AARON Z

    Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
    Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#590 Harvey Rupert Elder
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]

    SPENCER SOKOL

    Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
    Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
    ROUND 1 SONG:#298 Mr. Deadend
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
    ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
    ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]

    IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

    Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
    Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
    ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
    ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
    ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#623 Jenna Frogtalker
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jeff_fardink-623-jenna_frogtalker.mp3]

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

    GIFTED GEAR

    I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#580 Old Man Hades
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]

    BOB WESTFALL

    Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country – Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
    Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
    ROUND 1 SONG:#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bobby_westfall-023-miss_annabelle_tunnelsmell.mp3]

    JUSTIN VEGA

    Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/justin_vega-077-dr_hieronymous_sandpuppy.mp3]

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
    ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a number.

    That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, November 29th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

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    ROUND 1 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 1 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    GOVERNING DYNAMICS

    Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
    Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#288 Polly The Exhumer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/governing_dynamics-288-polly_the_exhumer.mp3]

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
    Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]

    TYLER MASSEY

    Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
    Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
    Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
    ROUND 1 SONG:#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/tyler_massey-429-mr_roughfingers.mp3]

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
    ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
    ROUND 1 SONG:#666 Tommy Dickfish
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jarrett_heather-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:#471 Mr. Armskin
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/audiomohel-471-mr_armskin.mp3]

    JALAPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.
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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
    ROUND 1 SONG:#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#414 Nick Nolte
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
    ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]

    CRAIG RICHIE

    At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
    ROUND 1 SONG:#275 Mr. Owen Daylight
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
    ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]

    AARON Z

    Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
    Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#590 Harvey Rupert Elder
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]

    SPENCER SOKOL

    Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
    Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
    ROUND 1 SONG:#298 Mr. Deadend
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
    ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
    ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
    ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]

    IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

    Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
    Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
    ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
    ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
    ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:#623 Jenna Frogtalker
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jeff_fardink-623-jenna_frogtalker.mp3]

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

    GIFTED GEAR

    I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#580 Old Man Hades
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]

    BOB WESTFALL

    Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country – Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
    Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
    ROUND 1 SONG:#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bobby_westfall-023-miss_annabelle_tunnelsmell.mp3]

    JUSTIN VEGA

    Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/justin_vega-077-dr_hieronymous_sandpuppy.mp3]

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
    ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie
    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”21″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 1 Challengers and Challenge Revealed

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    CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO & VOTE FOR ROUND 1 ENTRIES

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here’s the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    GOVERNING DYNAMICS

    Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.

    Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

    TYLER MASSEY

    Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.

    Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
    Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey

    GODZ POODLZ

    Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton

    MANTICESS

    Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

    JUBILEE JEWS

    They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

    Official Website: NONE

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

    PETER BENEDICT

    Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
    Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

    CRAIG RICHIE

    At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie

    JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

    Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

    AARON Z

    Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

    Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

    SPENCER SOKOL

    Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.

    Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

    Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

    BOB WESTFALL

    Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country – Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.

    Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com

    JUSTIN VEGA

    Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.

    Official Website: NONE

    IAN JOHNSON

    Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.

    Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com

    ZER0GUY

    Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

    JONATHAN MANN

    My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

    Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

    SARA PARSONS

    Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

    SIMMBIOSIS

    Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

    CHAS LILLY

    Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
    Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

    KYLIE PETTO

    My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

    Official Website: NONE
    Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com

    ALEX TAYLOR

    I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

    Official Website: NONE

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family. His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between. Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush. He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding. Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman

    THE MATT LEES BAND

    An independent rock/blues band from Ontario, Canada. Currently in studio recording a debut album to be released soon. They have been described as Hall and Oats meets Guns N Roses or John Mayer Vs Jeff Healey Vs Dave Matthews – Now that’s a triple threat match! The MLB looks forward to welcoming you to their world.

    Official Website: legendinmysparetimepodcast.podbean.com

    GIFTED GEAR

    I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

    Official Website: NONE

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, November 15th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009.

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #5: Sign-Up Begins…

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    From now until 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, we’ll be accepting sign-ups from any and all musicians across this here internet. We have 25 slots open – All you have to do is be one of the first 25 to apply via the form below, and you’re in. THE LIST OF CHALLENGERS AND THE FIRST TASK WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9th, 2009.

    Once those participants have been announced, the showdown will commence.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger.

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    And if you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Remember, you must be able to realize a song both lyrically and musically. This competition is open to both singer/songwriters and bands – but since space is limited, only enter if you truly accept the challenge. As stated above, we’ll be accepting the first 25 valid applications we receive.
    [ad#contestbox]

    Are you ready to bring your Fu? If so, fill out the form below:

    SIGN-UP FOR THIS ROUND HAS CLOSED.

    Note: Competitors will be notified via e-mail of their selection.
    If you have any problems submitting your entry via the form above, you can also e-mail the entry information to
    songfu @ asitecalledfred.com (taking out the spaces, naturally) with the subject line “Song Fu”.

  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: The Winner Announced!

    songfu2.jpg

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 3, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 2 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 3 Challenge…

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you are to write a standard song. I am defining a “standard song” as one with a definite melody and a chorus that repeats at least once (to clarify: the chorus should appear at least twice in the song). However, your song must run EXACTLY 1 minute in length – no shorter, and no longer. You can write on any topic.

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    You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers HERE. After all of the votes were tallied from the 3 rounds, there was but one winner, who earned the right to go head-to-head with a Master. Both the winning Challenger and the Master were issued the following FINAL CHALLENGE. This Final Challenge was also open to any previous Song Fu Challengers who wished to submit an out-of-competition shadow entry…

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    THE FINAL CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a journey. This journey must include 3 main characters. Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    Here’s an example of a song about a journey, featuring 3 main characters, that may provide some inspiration… Lobo – “Me And You And A Dog Named Boo”

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    Below, you’ll find the entry from the final Challenger, Berg & Jerry, as well as the shadow entries. Unfortunately, this edition’s Master – Molly Lewis – had to bow up due to extenuating circumstances. Therefore – by default – the winner of this 4th Edition of Masters of Song Fu is BERG & JERRY. Congratulations to the duo for their win, and by all means – give their tune a spin…

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    THE CHALLENGER

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry

    FINAL SONG:Goodnight Sweet Prince

    ROUND 3 SONG:Inside Jokes

    ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine

    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

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    THE MASTER

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/

    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23

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    THE SHADOW ENTRIES

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com

    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    FINAL SONG:Shadow Journey

    ROUND 3 SONG:Joey Dumps Pacey

    ROUND 2 SONG:March 2003

    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com

    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

    FINAL SONG:Passengers

    ROUND 3 SONG:A Standard Song

    ROUND 2 SONG:Marching To Selador (Traditional Dwarven March)

    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com

    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel

    FINAL SONG:Made It To The Manshed

    ROUND 2 SONG:The Battle Of Cobra Island

    ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

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    [display_podcast]

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the FINAL ROUND songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Final Challenge Revealed!

    songfu2.jpg

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    Due to unforeseen circumstances, there was a delay in putting up the final challenge songs and shadow entries. They will be going up this evening.

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 3, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 2 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 3 Challenge…

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you are to write a standard song. I am defining a “standard song” as one with a definite melody and a chorus that repeats at least once (to clarify: the chorus should appear at least twice in the song). However, your song must run EXACTLY 1 minute in length – no shorter, and no longer. You can write on any topic.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers HERE. After all of the votes were tallied from the 3 rounds, there was but one winner, who has earned the right to go head-to-head with a Master. Below, not only will you find the winning Challenger, but also the identity of the Master and THE FINAL CHALLENGE…

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    THE CHALLENGER

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 3 SONG:Inside Jokes
    ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

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    THE MASTER

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.
    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

    lucyline.gif

    THE FINAL CHALLENGE

    Write a song about a journey. This journey must include 3 main characters. Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Friday, July 17th, 2009.

    Voting on the Final Challenge will commence on Monday, July 20th, 2009.

    Here’s an example of a song about a journey, featuring 3 main character, that may provide some inspiration…

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    ******This Challenge is also open to all Song Fu Challengers from any previous edition of Song Fu who would like to do an out-of-competition shadow entry. ALL SUBMITTED ENTRIES WILL BE FEATURED.*****

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    ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

    [poll id=”18″]

    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Challenge 3 Listening Party!

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    This evening – Wednesday, June 24th – we’ll be holding a special live streaming listening party. We’ll be playing all 21 Challenge 3 tunes.

    The event begins at 7:30 pm EST, and you can access it by clicking HERE

    Come on out, support all of the wonderful artists, and then go place your votes if you haven’t already.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 3 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    ******DUE TO THE HOLIDAY, ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE FINAL CHALLENGE WILL BE MADE DURING THE WEEK OF JULY 6th. IN THE MEANTIME, CONGRATULATIONS TO BERG & JERRY FOR MOVING ON TO THE FINAL ROUND******

    lucyline.gif

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    lucyline.gif

    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 3, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 2 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 3 Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you are to write a standard song. I am defining a “standard song” as one with a definite melody and a chorus that repeats at least once (to clarify: the chorus should appear at least twice in the song). However, your song must run EXACTLY 1 minute in length – no shorter, and no longer. You can write on any topic.

    lucyline.gif

    You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers below, followed by the voting form…

    lucyline.gif

    THE CHALLENGERS

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 3 SONG:Acceptance
    ROUND 2 SONG:Whispered In Your Ear
    ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    ROUND 3 SONG:Bomb Squad Girl
    ROUND 2 SONG:Godz Poodlz On Parade
    ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 3 SONG:You Chose To Be A Dick
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Only Way I Know
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 3 SONG:Joey Dumps Pacey
    ROUND 2 SONG:March 2003
    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 3 SONG:Wish You Were Here (Falling)
    ROUND 2 SONG:La Marcha de Oppurtunidades
    ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
    ROUND 3 SONG:We Miss You Yeti
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Student’s Revenge
    ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 3 SONG:Minuteman
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Geeks (Semi-Autobiographical)
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

    DARRELL MacLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
    ROUND 3 SONG:Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Football Is Good (The Football Song)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 3 SONG:Inside Jokes
    ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
    ROUND 3 SONG:O Queen
    ROUND 2 SONG:Anna’s Gerbil & The Singularity
    ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    ROUND 3 SONG:Keen Dreams
    ROUND 2 SONG:Doomsday March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
    ROUND 3 SONG:A Standard Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Marching To Selador (Traditional Dwarven March)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
    ROUND 3 SONG:Warp Speed
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Soldier Forever
    ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 3 SONG:I Can’t Sleep (Manatee Dreams)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Have An Awkward March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
    ROUND 3 SONG:Quickie
    ROUND 2 SONG:Song FUneral March
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
    ROUND 3 SONG:wtfpeople20 (Three Short Stories)
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Clandestine Ninjas
    ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
    ROUND 3 SONG:Swan Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Ocoee Shopper
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

    CALEB LEE

    To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
    Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee
    ROUND 3 SONG:Don’t Sing Along
    ROUND 1 SONG:How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror’s Heart

    AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

    With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89
    ROUND 3 SONG:Typo In The Lyric Sheet
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Record Of Your Life

    DERREK J. THOMPSON

    Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

    Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/
    ROUND 3 SONG:Fu In The Key Of C
    ROUND 1 SONG:O’Riely’s Underpants

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 3 SONG:Finite
    ROUND 2 SONG:Deserter’s March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.
    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, JUNE 28th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. THE FINAL CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, JUNE 29th.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 3 Challenge Revealed!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is!

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 2 SONG:Whispered In Your Ear
    ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Godz Poodlz On Parade
    ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Only Way I Know
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 2 SONG:March 2003
    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Battle Of Cobra Island
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 2 SONG:La Marcha de Oppurtunidades
    ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Student’s Revenge
    ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Geeks (Semi-Autobiographical)
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

    DARRELL MacLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Football Is Good (The Football Song)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
    ROUND 2 SONG:Anna’s Gerbil & The Singularity
    ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Doomsday March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

    TOM MILSOM

    Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

    Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March As A Mad Hare
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Marching To Selador (Traditional Dwarven March)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    MILES FROM NASHVILLE

    Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

    Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Another Bittersweet Ending
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

    ANDREW THOMSON

    Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

    Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Martyrs
    ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Soldier Forever
    ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Have An Awkward March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Song FUneral March
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Deserter’s March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

    THE GREMLINS

    When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Doctor
    ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Clandestine Ninjas
    ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
    ROUND 2 SONG:All For This Moment
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.
    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you are to write a standard song. I am defining a “standard song” as one with a definite melody and a chorus that repeats at least once (to clarify: the chorus should appear at least twice in the song). However, your song must run EXACTLY 1 minute in length – no shorter, and no longer. You can write on any topic.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Monday, June 22nd, 2009.

    Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Challenge 2 Listening Party!

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    This evening – Thursday, June 11th – we’ll be holding a special live, streaming listening party. We’ll be playing all 23 Challenge 2 tunes.

    The event begins at 7pm EST, and you can access it by clicking HERE

    Come on out, support all of the wonderful artists, and then go place your votes if you haven’t already.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!

    songfu2.jpg

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a march from Harry Nilsson…

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, followed by the voting form…

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 2 SONG:Whispered In Your Ear
    ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Godz Poodlz On Parade
    ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Only Way I Know
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 2 SONG:March 2003
    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Battle Of Cobra Island
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 2 SONG:La Marcha de Oppurtunidades
    ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Student’s Revenge
    ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Geeks (Semi-Autobiographical)
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

    DARRELL MacLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Football Is Good (The Football Song)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
    ROUND 2 SONG:Anna’s Gerbil & The Singularity
    ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Doomsday March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

    TOM MILSOM

    Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

    Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March As A Mad Hare
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Marching To Selador (Traditional Dwarven March)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    MILES FROM NASHVILLE

    Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

    Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Another Bittersweet Ending
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

    ANDREW THOMSON

    Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

    Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Martyrs
    ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Soldier Forever
    ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Have An Awkward March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
    ROUND 2 SONG:Song FUneral March
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Deserter’s March
    ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

    THE GREMLINS

    When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 2 SONG:Doctor
    ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
    ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Clandestine Ninjas
    ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
    ROUND 2 SONG:All For This Moment
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.
    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, JUNE 14th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. THE THIRD CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, JUNE 15th.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 2 Challenge Revealed!

    songfu2.jpg

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG: Unfortunately, Molly was cornered by retaliatory dingoes sent by Paul & Storm, and was unable to compete in this Challenge.

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:Noose

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Rock Song

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:Trapped Inside Your Sofa

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
    ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

    DARRELL MacLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

    DERREK J. THOMPSON

    Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

    Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/
    ROUND 1 SONG:O’Riely’s Underpants

    JEREMY PIERSON

    Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

    Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Your Welcome Mat

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
    ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

    TOM MILSOM

    Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

    Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    MILES FROM NASHVILLE

    Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

    Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

    ANDREW THOMSON

    Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

    Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

    CALEB LEE

    To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
    Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee
    ROUND 1 SONG:How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror’s Heart

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
    ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

    AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

    With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Record Of Your Life

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

    THE GREMLINS

    When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
    ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a march.

    A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” – and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Monday, June 8th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Wednesday, June 10th, 2009.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s a march from Harry Nilsson…
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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Challenge 1 Listening Party!

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    This evening – Friday, May 29th – we’ll be holding a special live, streaming listening party. We’ll be playing all 30 Challenge 1 tunes.

    The event begins at 7pm EST, and you can access it by clicking HERE

    Come on out, support all of the wonderful artists, and then go place your votes if you haven’t already.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 1 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

    As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG: Unfortunately, Molly was cornered by retaliatory dingoes sent by Paul & Storm, and was unable to compete in this Challenge.

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:Noose

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Rock Song

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:Trapped Inside Your Sofa

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
    ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

    DARRELL MacLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

    DERREK J. THOMPSON

    Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

    Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/
    ROUND 1 SONG:O’Riely’s Underpants

    JEREMY PIERSON

    Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

    Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Your Welcome Mat

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
    ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

    TOM MILSOM

    Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

    Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

    MILES FROM NASHVILLE

    Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

    Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

    ANDREW THOMSON

    Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

    Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

    CALEB LEE

    To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
    Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee
    ROUND 1 SONG:How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror’s Heart

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
    ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
    ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

    AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

    With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Record Of Your Life

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

    THE GREMLINS

    When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

    Official Website: NONE
    ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
    ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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    To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, MAY 31st. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 1 Challengers and Challenge Revealed

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

    Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo

    GöDZ PööDLZ

    Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com

    BRAM TANT

    songfu-bramtant.pngBram Tant is a 19 year old Belgian student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

    Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

    Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

    STEVE CHATTERTON

    songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

    Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton

    JUTZE SCHULT

    Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

    THE SCRIBBLES

    The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1

    GORBZILLA

    songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

    Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

    DARRELL MACLAINE

    Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

    Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com

    BERG AND JERRY

    Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry

    ANDY RUMSCHLAG

    Andy’s interest in music really began in high school, when he was under the false impression that it could get him laid. He started playing drums and guitar, while dabbling in songwriting. After attending Berklee College of Music, he gained a distinct interest in songwriting. He is currently working on a solo release, while drumming as part of the (Song Fu competitor) Mike Lombardo Trio. He intends to take full advantage of Mike’s coattails.

    Official Website: www.andyrumschlag.com

    DERREK J. THOMPSON

    Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

    Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/

    THE MYSTICBUZZ BAND

    The Mysticbuzz Band is from Washington, IL. We are currently working on our first album, and may have a real song released soon. We are a little off in our lyrics and sound… and that’s a good thing.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/mysticbuzzband

    JEREMY PIERSON

    Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

    Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    LEX VADER

    Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

    Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com

    TOM MILSOM

    Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

    Official Website: www.tommilsom.com

    CALEB HINES

    Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

    Official Website: NONE

    MILES FROM NASHVILLE

    Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

    Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com

    ANDREW THOMSON

    Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

    Official Website: www.helloandrew.com

    CALEB LEE

    To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
    Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee

    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

    Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring

    SARA PARSONS

    Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

    AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

    With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89

    IAN & MELISSA

    Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

    Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com

    IN THE AUDIENCE

    In the Audience is a band headed by 19-year-old Jordan Stowell. The band combines their love of Third Eye Blind-style pop hooks with the DIY ethics of the Microphones. The band will release Baritone Ukulele Classics in June and begin touring the same month.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/intheaudience

    TRAVIS NORRIS

    Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

    Official Website: NONE

    THE GREMLINS

    When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

    Official Website: NONE

    THE GORGON’S GAZE

    The Gorgon’s Gaze is the alias of Tim Wilkinson, recent resident of “the music capital of the world”, Austin, TX. Originally hailing from hard to pronounce Worcester, MA, he began his musical career as the drummer of metal band Tempus. His drumming proficiency led him to join infamous fun-core band Bison Bison, creators of the annual Molluskfest, and toured the US. Tim loves to talk about himself in the third-person and is joining MSF to rock out with “y’all”.

    Official Website: www.thegorgonsgaze.com

    MIKE FEDERALI

    Mike Federali is a singer/songwriter from Virginia. He has two albums under his belt – The Great American Novel and Never Be Lonely. Mike wrote a song a day, everyday, in 2007 as part of a project called “365”. Mike has been called “The Beatles, Jayhawks and Pixies all rolled into one devilishly handsome dude” and “A One Man Music Army”. His songs can be heard on iTunes.

    Official Website: www.mikefederali.com

    THE PERFECT PLACE

    When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace

    HIS NAME IS LEGS

    His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Friday, May 22nd, 2009.

    Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Monday, May 25th, 2009.

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #4: Sign-Up Begins…

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    From now until 11:59pm EST on MONDAY, MAY 11th, we’ll be accepting sign-ups from any and all musicians across this here internet. All you have to do is apply via the form below, and you’re in. THE LIST OF CHALLENGERS AND THE FIRST TASK WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON THURSDAY, MAY 14th, 2009.

    Once those participants have been announced, the showdown will commence.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger.

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    And if you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Remember, you must be able to realize a song both lyrically and musically. This competition is open to both singer/songwriters and bands – but since space is limited, only enter if you truly accept the challenge. As stated above, we’ll be accepting the first 25 valid applications we receive.
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    Are you ready to bring your Fu? If so, fill out the form below:

    SIGN-UP FOR THIS ROUND HAS CLOSED.

    Note: Competitors will be notified via e-mail of their selection.
    If you have any problems submitting your entry via the form above, you can also e-mail the entry information to
    songfu @ asitecalledfred.com (taking out the spaces, naturally) with the subject line “Song Fu”.