FRED Entertainment

May 30, 2008

Weekend Shopping Guide 5/30/08: Trigger Happy Snoopy

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

It’s a pleasant surprise to find just how much I look forward to each new installment of The Complete Peanuts (Fantagraphics, $28.95). We’re now up to the volume that spans the years 1967 to 1968, and short of Marcie and Woodstock (even though we’re seeing the proto-bird with Snoopy), the cast is locked, the art is in full bloom, and the humor holds up incredibly well. In addition to Snoopy fully engaging his Flying Ace persona, these were the years that introduced Franklin and Snoopy’s first owner. This volume’s introduction is by filmmaker John Waters.

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Based on the lackluster American iteration, I’ve largely avoided the show Trigger Happy TV. That proved to be foolish, as I just should have sought out the infinitely more intelligent – and dada funny – British original created by Dom Joly. It’s like an absurdist Candid Camera, and Joly is a compelling social observer. Drop everything you’re doing and pick up the Best Of Season One, Best Of Season 2, and Best Of Season 3 collections (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP each). Bonus features include bonus footage, commentaries, and more.

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It seems there’ve been a dozen collections over the past few years, but Absolutely Fabulous: Absolutely Everything (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$129.98 SRP) claims to be the end all, be all compilation. The 9-disc set features all 5 seasons, “The Last Shot”, “The New York Special”, “White Box”, the “How To Be Ab Fab” featurette, “Absolutely Fabulous: A Life”, the original French & Saunders sketch, (plus two additional F&S sketches), the pilot episode for “Mirror Ball”, audio commentaries, outtakes, and more. Will there be another set? I guess that depends on whether Jennifer Saunders writes another series.

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As with any potentially long-running DVD release, I feared that the first volume of the chronological Three Stooges might very well be a one-off. Thankfully, my fears have been allayed with the arrival of The Three Stooges Collection: Volume 2 (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP). This 2-disc set covers the span from 1937-1939, and contains 24 shorts, fully remastered. Bring on the next set!

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Nothing makes a weekend pass faster than having your own private Modern Marvels marathon, and you can certainly do that with Modern Marvels: Engineering Disasters (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). As the title suggests, this 5-disc set features unfortunate occurrences ranging from the MGM Grand Hotel fire to the failure of the levees in New Orleans – even the Exxon Valdez oil spill. You know you want this.

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Even though I thought the flick was abysmal, I enjoyed reading through the massive The Complete Making Of Indiana Jones (Del Rey, $35.00 SRP), which takes readers behind-the-scenes of all four films. An in-depth making-of for Indy has been a long time coming, and I’m pleased that this one pretty much lived up to my expectations… Sad that the latest flick couldn’t.

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Unfortunately, much like the film itself, there’s not much to get excited by with John Williams’s score to Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull (Concord Records, $19.98 SRP). Much of the score is a rehash of the earlier films, and there’s no new theme that takes you by the lapels and slaps you across the face (which, at the very least, you got from all three of the previous films – even Crusade).

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It’s a damn shame that he’s still largely unknown in the US, but I’d recommend you rectify that by picking up Tommy Tiernan: Something Mental (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$14.99 SRP), the latest stand-up DVD from the best Irish comedy export since Dylan Moran. The DVD also features an interview, a featurette, and outtakes.

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Long before V or The X-Files, producer Quinn Martin gave us The Invaders (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP), which found architect David Vincent discovering that aliens are infiltrating Earth en masse. It’s a punchy little series well worth checking out – although you’ll keep expecting Rowdy Roddy Piper to show up with a pair of glasses at any moment. The 5-disc set features all 17 first season episodes, plus an extended version of the pilot, a new interview and episode introduction from star Roy Thinnes, an audio commentary on the episode “The Innocent”, and more.

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Slowly but surely, the DVD releases are catching up with the current episodes. The 2-disc Mythbusters: Collection 3 (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) contains another 12 episodes, though I’m not sure why we still don’t get any bonus features. Surely there are bloopers, deleted scenes, or interviews to be had. Hell, a commentary would be much appreciated.

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The subjects of their quests are still as mythical as they ever were, but Monster Quest (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP) is still a fascinating dive into cryptozoology – and the fallacies, misconceptions, and misidentifications that keep the “field” going. The 4-disc set features all 13 first season episodes, with the addition of a behind-the-scenes featurette.

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As someone who was not particularly ever a fan of the original Rambo films, Stallone’s resurrection of the Reagan-era icon in Rambo (Lionsgate, Rated R, DVD-$34.98 SRP) does not exactly warm any particular personal pop culture cockles. His big screen return, however, is a spectacularly and unapologetically violent turn, with more blood, gore, and guts than you can imagine. The special edition features an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and deleted scenes.

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While everyone remembers the sinking of the Titanic, my enduring interest in early 20th century shipwrecks extends to the sinking of Cunard liner Lusitania, which was torpedoed by a German U-Boat in 1915, and was one of the pivotal, galvanizing moments in the first World War. The Discovery Channel special Sinking Of The Lusitania (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$14.99 SRP) brings the events leading up to the tragedy – and the sinking itself – to dramatic life through an engaging mixture of talking heads and reenactments.

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Get in a martial arts mode (just in time for the release of Kung Fu Panda) with a new pair of releases from the “Dragon Dynasty” label – Come Drink With Me and Heroes Of The East (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$19.97 SRP each). Both discs feature audio commentaries, featurettes, interviews, and more.

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Ride ’em in! Get a view of classic Clint Eastwood with the first volume of Rawhide: Season 3 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), starring Clint as two-fisted western cowboy Rowdy Yates. The 4-disc set features 15 episodes, but nary a bonus.

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Meanwhile, Marshall Matt Dillon continues to keep the crooked in line in the second volume of Gunsmoke: Season 2 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP), with the remaining 19 episodes to round out the season. The 3-disc set also contains the original sponsor spots for the episodes.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #45: Danercise

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:15 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #45: Danercise – Ken & Dana return for another walk through verbal minefield, making the occasional excursion into Dana’s humanitarian tours, the freakish big screen adventure of a pair of raggy dolls, kiddie nostalgia and themed exercise, go after a critic rather unmercifully, and deal with Dana’s awkward references before making things even more awkward.
[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #45 (MP3 format)

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Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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May 29, 2008

Trailer Park: What Do Critics, And Their Criticism, Really Matter?

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 5:23 pm

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

Question for the group: Does box office negate the stones people cast against it?

I was reminded this week of the words some people have used against the newest INDIANA JONES incarnation but, from the looks of things, everyone might as well have saved that breath for blowing up balloons. Scoring over $100 million at the box office it truly was critic-proof of the highest order; some said that was going to save SPEED RACER but judging by the “Price Cut” on almost anything with a SPEED logo on it at the local Target near my house it is anything but a safe critic proof environment for films.

Now, without getting into what really makes a critic proof film, that could be a column all unto itself, I’m at a loss to really understand what kind of purpose criticism really serves in this age when anyone with an Internet connection can weasel their way into a screening and post a review of it. At 78% approval at Rotten Tomatoes the film is unquestionably a critical success.

It was obvious that the schism that occurred, critically, was one where enthusiasts of the franchise (and make no mistake that this film is just a franchise. Those who want to inflate its cultural significance to anything more than a successful business property need to take an economics class to see why Hollywood still exists today.) had real issues with some of the patina the film’s characters were wont to use, that some of the CGI was ridiculously shabby, that the self same CGI was specifically pointed out by Spielberg as something that *wasn’t* going to be heavily used in many of his previous interviews (for illustrations on how this was supposed to look, gaze on the practicality employed in IRON MAN.) and that many of the story’s elements just failed to produce any sort of pulpy sense of adventure we’ve come to expect from this film’s previous outings.

Personally, the level of quality and attention to any real tension was already on a decline after RAIDERS. How could you have topped some guy getting his face slashed by a propeller? What else has been more exciting than seeing a human skull just melt like a candle? The answer is that you couldn’t but the series has been a serviceable one not to mention that this entry was just a half-assed when compared to the other films.

And that’s really what’s at issue when it comes to critical reviews. You can either review the work in a vacuum, which it should be if you want to be absolutely true to the idea of criticism, or judge it against what has come before it. Hence, that’s the real quandary but the reason why it’s done so well at the box office. Judged alone, it’s a serviceable action film that deserved its cash because it delivers on many base needs for those who need a summer film with flashes of pop, a little intrigue and a whole lot of action. Judged against the other films, though, and you have a world of problems that people have when fans wonder why, when you have Spielberg and Lucas and Koepp in a super triad team-up, you end up with a turd that floats right on the surface of the punchbowl.

But, just like true criticism, these negative points are all muted by the very large bankroll. In a land ruled by dollars, this movie will never be seen as anything less than a success. That’s what probably irks most people who know better.

Case in point, though, is Herr Raymond “Don’t Call Me Heeb” Schillaci’s review of INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST FOR MORE GOLD COINS which follows promptly after this column. Ray has certainly endeared himself to a lot of the readership if the mail is to be believed but since I don’t I still rate his qualifications as a reviewer to be on par with a grade schooler with an acute drooling problem…and who also happens to be retarded. But that’s just me. Feel free to disagree with him, as I have, in the comments section below.

THE FIST FOOT WAY (2008)

Director: Jody Hill
Cast: Danny McBride, Ben Best, Mary Jane Bostic
Release:
May 30, 2008
Synopsis: THE FOOT FIST WAY, an uproarious, full-contact comedy featuring one of this year’s least likely heroes, is the first project from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions. Included in Ain’t It Cool News’ Top 10 Films of 2007, THE FOOT FIST WAY became a sensation at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival, as audiences fell in love with the seriously self-deluded Tae Kwon Do instructor Fred Simmons, who talks a big, macho game, but falls to pieces when his wife betrays him. Self-control, courtesy, perseverance, integrity and an indomitable spirit ““ those are the basic tenets preached by the proud but stern Master instructor Simmons at the Concord Tae Kwon Do Studio. There “the way of the foot and the fist,” a.k.a. the definition of the featured Korean martial art, turns boys into black belts and suburbanites into great warriors. That is, until Simmons’ seemingly perfect life starts collapsing when he discovers his wife having an affair on him. Twice. A chance to resurrect his life by battling his hero – the 8-time undefeated champ and star of the “Seven Rings of Pain” trilogy, Chuck “The Truck” Wallace – gives Simmons’ life purpose as he winds up on a wild, comic journey that will take him from egomaniacal bluster all the way to becoming the stand-up man of his delusional dreams.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. If I was 13 I would probably be all over this trailer.

“Wow,” I would say, “Look at how he’s taking your average blond who’s looking for a yoga workout only to be totally verbally kicked in the face by having Danny McBride say “˜Well, has yoga ever saved someone from a gang rape type of situation’! I mean, wow!”

One of the things I don’t appreciate about comedic trailers nowadays are those that try too hard and, as IDIOCRACY clearly was divining, use nut shots and other physical type of humor to say in flashing neon “Look at us! We’re really funny!”

The reason why the Payton Manning sketch on SNL bit worked, where he was beaning kids in the head with a football and mocking, chiding these children every chance he could, where there was some of the very same comedic elements present was because it worked against type. Here, though, you have an obviously disconnected retard whose only function seems to be that same whorish “Look at me!” type of personality that I guess we’re supposed to find amusing.

The first 15 seconds are painful; let’s just get that over with. The scene that follows, where this douche is taunting what looks like an 8 year-old as he punches him in the head, I guess is supposed to be uproaringly hilarious. I mean, yeah, it’s visually amusing but it just feels like they’re trying way too hard to make this funny. There’s a fine line between subtlety and blunt force trauma when it comes to punchlines.

Exhibit B: This dope of a Tae Kwon Do instructor is at a barbeque. Some trashy looking lady is doing her nails and we’re given, again what’s supposed to be a joke, a moment where this guy explains the difference between a whore and whore-ish. I just don’t get it, I guess.

And, let’s not overlook the fact that we’re told that Adam McKay and Will Ferrell was given this movie last year, and that they’ve watched it 20 times and that they’re now quoting it. As much of a lark that is to explain to the rest of us, obviously not true because if I had to even watch this trailer 5 more times I would take a meat cleaver and slice my own eyeballs with it, it doesn’t bode well for their reputations to me anyhow that they would sanction a piece of shit like this.

Ah, yes, I forgot to mention: the reason why this is a red band trailer. I think one of the ways in which red band trailers differ from many other types of trailers are that sometimes they offer a more intense look at the film. Sometimes it helps, sometimes, well, you get trailers like this. It seems red band to these people means Reason To Inject F-Bombs like it was a blitzkrieg on London circa World War II. Yeah, I like the uses of these words. I like when they’re used to hilarious effect but I dare anyone here to watch this trailer and tell me it doesn’t seem like it’s just an excuse to stick them in there.

I will say high-five for the scene where a kid is about to go toe-to-toe with one of this instructor’s friends only to have the moment broken, by instead of a martial arts fight, we have the other guy lay into the kid with a fist to the face. Nice touch.

After a very long quick clip sequence to an Andrew W.K. soundtrack, and after I’m thoroughly confused as to what is going on in this film, I’m left to say that I have no intention of seeing this film. Believe me, this trailer tries very hard to say why this is going to be the comedic equivalent of an orgasm but I’m left with blue balls on this one.
AMERICAN TEEN (2008)

Director: Nanette Burstein
Cast: Lots of High Schoolers
Release:
July 25, 2008
Synopsis: A documentary on seniors at a high school in a small Indiana town and their various cliques.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I could watch this stuff all day and night.

I am endlessly fascinated by sociological examinations, be they a look into groups of people who I never took the time to understand (the lives of those who have to deal with autistic children, soldiers who are coming home from Iraq and dealing with PTSD, etc”¦) or groups of people I was once myself, namely high schoolers, I’ve always gravitated back to teens and young adults, Perhaps it’s my fear that I will lose my grip on what made those years from 14-18 so watershed-y but watching pieces on PBS’ Frontline about how teens are evolving to PBS’ American High which was waaaay too short to the recent series High School Confidential on the We network (seeing how I have two girls it was damn near required viewing) I am reminded why I dig this stuff. There is a certain commonality we all share with this group of individuals and AMERICAN TEEN seems like it could play just as well on the big screen as it could on the small screen.

One of the keys in making these productions work, and why this thing starts off really well, is its jumpy, cheeky tone. The music is reminiscent of an ELO ditty, not that I would expect any teen in this film to know who ELO is, but it sets up a few things without you even realizing it: the place, the time, the people and the fact that this all begins on the first day of their last year in high school.

Now, while you see the prime players in this thing, getting ready for their school day, there is the sanitized sense that this could be another whitewash that we’ve all grown accustomed to in this age of MTV editing and where it’s in that edit bay that storylines take their shape. This is further reinforced by the labels we’re given for those we’re going to follow: The Jock, The Rebel, The Geek, The Princess and The Heartthrob.

I’m at odds with my attraction to the material and the obvious misrepresentations that can happen when you do put labels and monikers on things. Evolutionarily speaking, yeah, we survive this life because we label and group things; it helps to establish some kind of order to everything which would otherwise be chaos. But, I can see why the filmmakers have decided to let this go. It just helps those of us playing at home to keep score of what we’re seeing. I get that and it’s forgivable when the cards “Who”¦Were”¦You?” come across the screen.

I’ll take Not Smart Freak for $500.

What follows is the only thing that can follow at this point. You have one girl talking about what it’s like in Warsaw, Indiana and the kind of rural country all of us in our 30’s will say looks like something out of FOOTLOOSE or 16 CANDLES. It looks like Wonder Bread country for sure and it seems like a good as place as any to document the modern teen species. Say what you will about organisms and their behavior when you expose them to cameras and observation but there is some glimmer here that we will catch a glimpse of something real in the process.


AUSTRAILIA (2008)

Director: Baz Luhrmann
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman
David Wenham, Jack Thompson, Bryan Brown
Release:
November 14, 2008
Synopsis: AUSTRALIA is an epic and romantic action adventure, set in that country on the explosive brink of World War II. In it, an English aristocrat (Nicole Kidman) travels to the faraway continent, where she meets a rough-hewn local (Hugh Jackman) and reluctantly agrees to join forces with him to save the land she inherited. Together, they embark upon a transforming journey across hundreds of miles of the world’s most beautiful yet unforgiving terrain, only to still face the bombing of the city of Darwin by the Japanese forces that attacked Pearl Harbor. With his new film, Luhrmann is painting on a vast canvas, creating a cinematic experience that brings together romance, drama, adventure and spectacle.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I’m going to assume a lot of people here know a lift when they see one.

I can’t say that every time I’m told when an artist has pulled this from one work or pulled that from a cover of another comic book and made it into something almost completely identical that it’s a completely derivative work but I’ll be damned if there isn’t a whole lot of thieving going on in this trailer. Not that these things are bad, mind you, but it really is the most sincere form of flattery when you steal from the best.

In this trailer it’s like you have some things from GONE WITH THE WIND, THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, GIANT and a handful of other oldies but goodies.

As if I have to make some remark about when a parent company is owned by a subsidiary before talking about a stock recommendation but, honestly, I can’t think of the last time Nicole Kidman really inspired that lovin’ feeling in me to see one of her films. THE GOLDEN COMPASS only proved that Botox is working overtime to keep that forehead as smooth as a baby’s ass and, let’s be honest as you look over her resume over the last few years, THE INVASION sucked, FUR sucked, BEWITCHED really sucked and THE INTERPRETER really blew; that said, I was blown away by this trailer.

Even the opening is a little magical by the flip-flip-flip of the CGI papers when the set up happens at second 1: it’s World War II, it’s in Australia, the Japanese are a threat to that prison island and you have the oddest moment between Kidman and some girl who seems like she’s just chillin’ in a bomb crater. The story itself is presented pretty kid-clear as Kidman relates the tale to Crater Girl.

There’s a girl and there’s a boy. Here, Jackman is all sorts of Clint Eastwood and there is even some elements of PEARL HARBOR and that GLADIATOR shot of the fingers rolling across the wheat fields; I’m telling you, it’s like seeing a Best Of montage for all these films. And while this is all going on we have one of the most accurate grasps on what the movie is about as things roll on. It’s amazing that we know so much but don’t know anything at all regarding what Jackman and Kidman have to do with one another.

The 2nd half of this trailer, normally reserved for more exposition, is used for a lovely string arrangement that blends some of the most fantastical imagery I’ve seen for a film not already slated to come out during the summer. You have fires, horses, guns, armies and an oddly squatting Aboriginal while it’s all wrapped up in this majestic sense of time and place.

While I wouldn’t purport to say this seems like one of the more big films of the fall season by any means I will say that the sound of a cracking whip never sounded so thrilling as it did here. Indiana Jones has nothing on Hugh Jackman. As well, it’s nice to look forward to film that may bring more to the screen than just superhero theatrics and genuinely give people a reason to see why wide screens were really meant for the cinema.

I hope I’m not wrong. While I know there’s some veiled finger pointing at what seems to be original or fresh about this production I will say that this trailer is really one of the only ones this month that has kind of stayed with me for a bit. For what it’s worth it does have some charm.

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Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Fans

No matter what, we as fans of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg will always expect more, and rarely will they deliver. So I urge everyone interested in seeing their future movies to stop genuflecting to your celluloid deities and accept them as better-than-average filmmakers who have faults with touches of brilliance. This way, one can walk out of Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with a fun sense of nostalgia and newbies can have just as good of a time as the rest of us.

Too further substantiate this claim I present the facts of the past. Lucas and Spielberg were launched into movie history fame by less than a handful of brilliant films, Lucas ““ Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back (some will argue American Graffiti, but that is barely a blip on the radar), Spielberg ““ Jaws, Close Encounters, E.T. and Schindler’s List. Together they created the Indy mythos with only Raiders being the stand out and that even had its problems to some. Those problems being that it emulated the Saturday Matinees so well that people wanted steak with their popcorn. There were complaints that it could have been the Gone With The Wind of action movies. Lacking was the depth of a real relationship between Indy and Marion even though Ford and Allen generated sparks through a downpour of action set pieces. And, what pieces they were, Lucas and Spielberg raised the bar for not only everybody else but themselves too, never to duplicate that sense of wonderment or magic. Would they touch upon it? Sure, but not always to satisfying effect.

L & S are homage experts they appear more comfortable when they emulate rather than create. Their giant hits of the past were made out of hunger and passion. Few filmmakers ever remain consistent or close to it and we as an audience have demanded it of L & S. It’s time to set expectations aside. They are not in the same category as John Ford, Alfred Hitchcock or David O’Selznick. We just thought they might be at one time. And, it could be argued that they are not as consistently interesting as those who have avoided selling themselves out and remained on the fringe creating a maintainable mythos surrounding their work; David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Quentin Tarantino.

Now for the good news, those who enter setting aside their expectations and expecting more than the pale comparisons that have emulated the Indy movies (National Treasure, Tomb Raider and half-assed Brendan Fraser fare) you may rejoice. It is fun. It will not bring you to your feet applauding but it is a great summer escape. First off, let’s dismiss the stuffy critics of Ford’s age. John Wayne was revered as a great action western star till he was 71 and Ford is in much better shape. The part is his and his alone. He fits into it like a well-worn glove and is pure fun to watch until the movie gets bogged down into exposition midway through.

The last thing we need from an Indy movie is the sense that we are going to nod off. This is probably the point when a studio exec needed to step in and demand not only a brush up on Koepp’s patchwork script but a better editor as well. After all it was Verna Fields that saved Jaws from sinking into oblivion. But this good-ole boys club is far too powerful to have anyone monkey with their newfound toy. Everyone will have to play by their rules and that means we as an audience must suffer through the slow exposition pieces, the phoned in writing of Marion’s return (which could have been a great shot in the arm) and a tagged on lackluster epilogue that not only appeared to be strained but only there for the purpose of the suggestion of another taking Indy’s reigns. Hey, L & S unless you want to see your cash cow butchered ““ don’t even go there!

Okay, I’ve spit out the venom, now onto the glory. Once again, everything else is pure fun. Some of the action pieces are right out of the L & S library of good times by all. As I mentioned before, Ford is great as the world weary Indy. Cate Blanchett adds fun to the villainy of Mother Russia and even though she’s Russian she might as well be goose-stepping. Not only is Blanchett pleasant on the eyes but also something about her elicits our bad-boy fantasies. Shia LeBeouf turns in a surprising performance that fares much better than any of the younger Indy carnations from the past. The story is pure Saturday matinee action/adventure with a dash of X-Files thrown in for good measure. That may seem out of place for an Indy movie but not for Lucas and Spielberg who have waded in the genre before.

But does it work? In a way, yes it worked, but not always to satisfying effect. If only less CGI was relied on. I’m not a big critic of CGI, it’s useful when not overused, and the tech wizards that L & S are should have known when enough was enough. One of the last shots is so over the top it makes some of Indy’s copycats start to look good.

Like the James Bond series Indy will be enjoyed for better or for worse. Technically savvy and catering to the fantasies of young boys and men struck down with the Peter Pan syndrome. Indy is a staple in our love for all things nostalgic and will continue to entertain as long as our children have a desire to go to the movies. I’ll buy this one on Blu Ray before I ever fork over the rental money for a National Treasure 2.

Masters Of Song Fu – Round 1 Challenge Voting Begins!

Filed under: Masters Of Song Fu — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:36 pm

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CLICK HERE FOR TO FIND OUT WHO’S MOVING ON TO ROUND 2

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we’ve launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

A few weeks back, we sent out the call for challengers. Hundreds of you heard the call and fought for a chance to be in the initial group. 20 were selected. Only 19 responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the challengers were presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They were given one week to complete their songs – however they saw fit, within the parameters set forth below…

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

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You must do a song in the style of a classic television show. Not only that, but this song is the theme for a fictional television show about yourself (or your band). By “classic television show” theme song, we mean the type of themes found in shows from the 1960’s – 1980’s (ie Gilligan’s Island, Cheers, The Fall Guy, Diff’rent Strokes, Welcome Back Kotter, Greatest American Hero, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, The Facts Of Life, Green Acres, Gimme A Break, The Monkees, etc.). Your theme song must include both lyrics and music. It must run no shorter than 30 seconds, and no longer than one (1) minute.

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When all was said and done, only 16 of the 19 Challengers were able to send in the songs in time. Below, you’ll find each band’s Round 1 entry. Please LISTEN TO THEM ALL before placing your vote for your favorite (at the bottom of the page). You can vote for ONLY ONE as your favorite, so please choose carefully.

Voting will end at 11:59pm on Thursday, June 5th, and we’ll eliminate the bottom 11 vote-getters – leaving 5 competitors to move on to… ROUND 2.

That’s when things get crazy… But we’ll save the surprise til then.

What do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

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As you know, to mix things up a bit, we also announced three (well, 4, if you’re being technical) very special Masters – one of which will eventually face the winner of the general competition in a head-to-head battle. Each of them has written their own ROUND 1 song, and it’s up to you to vote for your favorite below (voting form is at the bottom page, after the general vote). The top two MASTERS will move on to the Round 2 challenge.

JONATHAN COULTON

songfu-01.jpgJonathan Coulton on Jonathan Coulton: “In 2005 I left my day job writing software to pursue music full time. To keep myself busy I released a new song on this website every week for a year in a project called Thing a Week. A few of those songs became big internet hits (my folky cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, a funny video called “Flickr”, a song called “Code Monkey”), and I am now fortunate enough to make my living as a musician.

I write about a lot of geeky stuff because I am a geek. Some of it’s funny, but a lot of it’s not so funny, and even more of it is somewhere in between. I’ve been compared to They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Loudon Wainwright III, and other musicians you REALLY LOVE.

I give lots of music away because I believe it helps my cause, and I love it when people use my music to create other stuff – music videos, pictures, remixes, etc. At the moment I’m unsigned, and I’m proud to say I’ve created this whole thing mostly on my own (with plenty of help from an amazingly supportive bunch of fans). But it certainly is getting busy… I will probably sell out and go Hollywood any day now…”

Official Website: www.jonathancoulton.com

ROUND 1 SONG:Monkey Shines

PAUL & STORM

songfu-02.jpg Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com

ROUND 1 SONG:Theme Song To Paul & Storm

DOC HAMMER

songfu-03.jpg Doc Hammer was born in 1626 in Hamar, Norway, under the name Erik VonHamer. Being the son of a humble cobbler, not much was expected of the young man, other than to cobble and to not complain about all the cobbling. But Doc was destined for greater things. At 17, with nothing more than really well made shoes and a dream, he made his way to Antwerp to study oil painting under the great Rubens. Within a year, the two were at odds. Rubens spoke (infrequently) of Doc as “that creepy skinny kid,” and Doc spoke of Rubens’s work as “kinda unattractive if you really look at it.” By 1648, Doc had relocated to Leiden, where he found his master in Rembrandt. It was there, in his 23rd year, that Doc met “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth.” After a spicy courtship, “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth” and Doc were married. By 1650 Doc had grown weary of immortality and committed an unsuccessful suicide by burying his never-corpse in the basement of a Dutch cottage. In 1870, Doc again resurfaced. Using the name Vilhelm Hammershoi, Doc resumed his painting career with mild success. After thanking his bride for “the immortality thing” and nicely reminding her that he had “heard every one of her stories like a billion times,” “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth” and Doc split up in 1916. Again, Doc literally went underground until, now using the name Armond Hammer, he resurfaced and made a whole mess of money selling overpriced meds to the Russians. Sick of all the baking soda jokes, Doc faked his death. Biding his time till the MC Hammer thing had blown over, Doc again resurfaced as “Doc Hammer.” Today, Doc still paints in oils and writes, voices, and does other crap for The Venture Bros. (a show you can watch on cable TV).

Official Website: www.myspace.com/dochammer

ROUND 1 SONG:Steel Man, Tin Badge

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THE CHALLENGERS

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THE MATT LEES BAND

songfucomp-02.jpgMatt Lees was born and raised in sheep-lovin’ Wales. At 12-years-old his family decided to move to everything lovin’ Canada and start a new life. Not an easy feat for any person, let alone a less-than-manly pre-teen. Eager to fit in with the Canuck teens he threw himself into the arts. He began an obsessive love affair with music. Writing and singing to express his emotions, he needed to learn an instrument to complete his sound. In the beginning he learned piano but, being lazy, he didn’t want to lug a piano everywhere. Guitar seemed like the easiest choice… plus, chicks dig guitar players. Ego in hand, he now fronts a self-titled band. The MLB fuses a pop-rock sound with a modern blues feel. Playing mainly in Ontario, Canada, Matt has also shared his music with audiences in Europe – even the French! Matt loves long walks on the beach, puppies, sharing his feelings and the smell of dew in the morning. He is currently ‘sticking it to the man’ in the real world while preparing to record and release his debut album (aka scrounging funds and searching for a cheaper studio).

Official Website: myspace.com/mattlees

ROUND 1 SONG:The Matt Lees Band Show Theme

PAUL FRUMPTON EXPERIENCE FEATURING LARRY

songfucomp-03.jpgBorn in the fall of 2006 in the center of the two-man acoustic comedy rock scene, Columbus, Ohio, the self proclaimed Turner and Hooch of Rock and Roll, The Paul Frumpton Experience Featuring Larry – known more colloquially as Jeff Stormer and Jeremy Hoover – are best described as what happens when comedy, music, caffeine, and improv collide in a chocolaty, peanut buttery explosion of good times. Stormer and Hoover met as students of Ohio State University and have been performing for scraps of food and hobo nickels ever since. Jeremy and Jeff’s major influences include Bacon, Booster Gold & Blue Beetle’s irreverent banter, David Bowie’s crotch in Labyrinth, and a deep-seated love of go karts. Finally, we feel obliged to mention all the things that are off limits to the comedy duo… This list includes NOTHING.

Official Website: myspace.com/thepaulfrumtonexperiencefeaturinglarry

ROUND 1 SONG:The Paul Frumpton Experience (Feat. Larry) Comedy Hour Spectacular

LEX FRIEDMAN

songfucomp-04.jpgLex Friedman’s musical influences include artists like They Might Be Giants, Moxy Fruvous, “Weird Al” Yankovic, CAKE, Barenaked Ladies, Tom Lehrer, Ben Folds, and Michael Jackson. Lex has left a smattering of bizarre music videos on YouTube, which have been slowly overtaken by videos of his 18-month-old daughter Anya. He occasionally shares new songs on his blog. He currently appears both weekly and weakly as the host of the “Week in Douchebaggery” on Cracked.com. Lex, his aforementioned daughter Anya, his lovely wife Lauren, and his diabetic maltese Charlie all live together in New Jersey, and sincerely hope that you don’t hold that against them. He gives one of them two injections if insulin each day – guess which! Lex also wrote this sentence. To avoid appearing like a suck-up, Lex has neglected to mention other musical influences of his who may or may not be the Iron Chefs of this Song Fu competition. Let’s just say he happens to also love the musical stylings of a guy whose name rhymes with Shmonathan Shmoulton.

Official Website: www.thefriedmans.net/blog

ROUND 1 SONG:Hey, It’s Lex Friedman!

SARCASM

songfucomp-06.jpgI picked up the guitar 20 some years ago and still don’t know one scale or the names of most of the chords. After a year of playing I formed a band called The Narrow Way. We wrote such classics as “Polka Hell” and “The Shades of Limbo”. After refining my chops, I then formed a band called Mechanized Death, which was named after that infamous car accident safety movie from the 70’s. We wrote such inspired classics as “Roadkill”, “Tunafish” and “I Don’t Care”. After Mechanized Death, I went solo and now have written hundreds of songs… I even sold one to a morning radio talk show (ahhh… the fame). Lately, I won song of the day at Garageband.com…So I guess my star is still rising.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/sarcasmtheband

ROUND 1 SONG:One Man Band

BEN & PETE

songfucomp-08.jpgBen Rossow is seeking to inflict upon the world his unique brand of acoustic pop/punk/folk music. Hailing from Mora, Minnesota, this northern songsmith and his collaborator, Pete Morgan, have recorded and performed under the name “Ben & Pete.” Ben plays acoustic guitar and makes noise with his mouth, while Pete generally attracts songbirds with his delightful vocal stylings, and sometimes adds keyboard effects to distract potential enemies. Influences range from Bob Dylan to Weezer, Cheap Trick to The White Stripes.

Official Website: We don’t have one!

ROUND 1 SONG:Theme Song From Ben & Pete On The Beat

CLOAKIE

songfucomp-09.jpgMy Fu is stronger than you! I am Coleman Bear Saunders, or Cloakie to most. At the age of 25 I work with music everyday at my studio that I recently built. I produce, engineer and compose various genres of music with ninja like precision. I have been picking away at the guitar since the age of 7 after watching my Dad play Johnny Cash tunes in the wrong key while singing the wrong lyrics, although I do the same thing because that’s the way I was learnt, ya hear me boy? I live in Kentucky and the music scene isn’t the greatest, so I turn to the internet to pipeline my Fu to the masses for free. I’m getting tired of music these days, I want some more songs about Dragons and fucking! Songs that take you on a journey and let you experience a different world, like movies do. My dream is to compose and score music for video games, TV, and my ultimate goal, the big screen. This is why the Song Fu competition was made for me. All the challenges that the competition presents to me will be similar to the expectations of future employers. Good luck to all, and may the best Fu win.

Official Website: myspace.com/colemansaunders

ROUND 1 SONG:Cloakie The Nazi Killing Zombie

ELAINE CHAO FINNELL

songfucomp-10.jpgElaine Chao Finnell is a singer/songwriter from the San Francisco Bay Area. In her checkered musical past, she has been a choral singer, a pit musician, an a cappella vocalist, a vocal percussionist, a hip hop beatboxer, contemporary Christian worship musician, and a musical librettist. After leaving the a cappella world in 2001, Elaine shifted into the world of hip hop theater, touring with spoken word artist Aya de León, then going solo and performing in such venues as the Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco and at the Apollo Theater in New York City. She began writing music at the tender age of 17, co-authoring her first musical with Brian Allan Hobbs. Since then, she has written two full length musicals and two plays. She currently plays regularly at her church as a lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist. While not in her musical pursuits, Elaine can be found in a cubicle at a major software company, at home with her engineer husband and their network of Macs, or studying martial arts at a local university.

Official Website: www.gotspit.com

ROUND 1 SONG:Cubicle Gopher

AIRPLANE VS. AMBULANCE

songfucomp-11.jpgAirplane vs. Ambulance are a four-piece synth-punk band from Abbotsford, BC. The band’s sound has been described as a blend of pop hooks and indie sensibility, and the’ve crafted their own unique take on modern rock.

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Official Website: www.myspace.com/airplanevsambulance

ROUND 1 SONG:Airplane Rock & Roll Show

EAST CAROLINA

songfucomp-12.jpgEast Carolina was formed in 2006 when friends Aaron (vocals, keyboards, accordion, etc) and Stuart (electric guitar, bass, keyboards, etc.) realized that, though often praised individually for their musical prowess, together they would be a virtually less-stoppable musical force. Combining in their music elements of alternative and classic rock, comedy, jazz, hilarious banter, polka, and more, East Carolina creates music that is unique, pleasurable, and often unclassifiable. Their original songs range in topic from Spanish love gone wrong to social anxiety to properties of gasses, and beyond. East Carolina is thrilled to be participating in the Masters of Song Fu competition and looks forward to sharing their songs with all of you.

Official Website: www.worldofarcana.com

ROUND 1 SONG:East Carolina In The UK

TO SERVE MANKIND

songfucomp-13.jpgTo Serve Mankind seeks to do just that, via music that makes you think about the world and your place in it differently. Friends since high school, the duo, likened to They Might Be Giants or Barenaked Ladies, have played back yards to front yards and everywhere in between. It seemed like just yesterday To Serve Mankind had absolutely no future, and look at them now, competing in Song Fu against artists such as Paul and Storm and, uh, the Jonathan Coulton. Jeff Little and Bryan Ewing both grew up in Apple Valley, CA, an environment which demands creativity just to stay sane among Joshua trees, dirt, and the Wal*Mart. With a combined vocal range of at least a perfect 5th, To Serve Mankind is ready to take the world… aeriously. Bryan is into Rock, Jeff digs on Funk. Both serve as worship leaders at their respective churches and are married… not to each other… but to one woman each – Bryan to Michelle, Jeff to Jen. Bryan has a son named Malachi, and Jeff is expecting his wife to follow through on this pregnancy thing and produce a daughter, Jane. Jeff, Bryan (and Malachi) love Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Official Website: www.toservemankind.com

ROUND 1 SONG:To Serve Mankind Theme Song

GERM

songfucomp-14.jpgHello. I am Jeremy Edgington. Call me germ. I live in Springfield, Ohio and I was born here in 1972. I started playing guitar at about 13. I took it seriously only off and on. I love to play. I hate to practice. I just jam. I got began enjoying “deeply listening” to music at a really young age. I was into Kiss when I was in Kindergarten and first grade. I had all of their albums. Second grade came along and out with Kiss, in with Def Lepard! Then came Van Halen and so on. I have a nice recording studio. Buckethead is a huge influence on me. I play bass and guitar. I do drum programming. I also program background ambience. I use the guitar for just ambient noises in songs, too. I will someday release a CD. Maybe…

Official Website: myspace.com/tikisamurai

ROUND 1 SONG:Just Call Me Germ

RELIC’S JETBOAT

songfucomp-15.jpgRelic’s Jetboat are a modern folk band – this isn’t about acoustic guitars in the coffee shop, it’s songs about modern folk and the events or stories around us. They bring a party band attitude to their songs about Garage Sailin’, Gordon Downie, Ogopogo and The Beachcombers. The songs cross genres as they represent the music that we hear these days. From country to reggae, punk, celtic and rock, the band has been described as “The Barenaked Ladies with an edge”, or this review of the band: “These guys could get a job doing Muppet Music. From Canada, they perform their individual style with ease and an abundance of satire. They take us back to a time of musical innocence when people got off on groups like the Beach Boys.”

Official Website: www.relicsjetboat.com

ROUND 1 SONG:The Relic’s Jetboat Show

JEFF MacDOUGALL

songfucomp-16.jpgThe Deal: After 20+ years making music as a hobby, I recently wrote and recorded a song for my daughter. I got a little taste of mild success (hey, my mom liked it). So now I’m taking my music out of the closet, dusting it off, and seeing how it does in the sunshine. Who knew there was so much work in just attempting to do music for a living. I feel like I am opening a Subway franchise (Only opening a Subway franchise seems more fulfilling in a creative way).

Official Website: jeffmacdougall.com

ROUND 1 SONG:Jeff MacDougall Dot Com

SHANNON MILLER

songfucomp-17.jpgShannon is a woman of keen intellect and she is a little cuter than average, but not photogenic, so her picture will not necessarily reflect her attractiveness. She likes to ride vintage bicycles that clunk and whistle so that people in the city know she’s approaching and take notice. When she’s not working her ass off at her corporate job that pays huge cash, she likes to belittle her husband (sorry, fellows, she’s married) and re-arrange her coaster collection. She wants to make it big in Song Fu so that she can finally have an excuse to quit her career and bask in the adoration of her fans. At this time, she only has two fans (three, if you include the kid in the street that sometimes rides by on his scooter and stops for a minute when he hears her playing the guitar in the back yard, or maybe he’s looking at her dog in the window; she’s not sure).

Official Website: We don’t have one

ROUND 1 SONG:The Rockin’ Rockwell Househusband

BROAD BAND FIASCO

songfucomp-18.jpgI trained as a film critic at Glasgow University, then as an actor at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama and then worked in a call centre for three years. Figures. Fed up with offering people death insurance, I taught myself how to edit film and got a job in a Glaswegian production company editing fishing programmes. When the allure of that finally wore off I went freelance for a while before setting up my own company, TheCage.TV Ltd. All through this time I’ve been writing songs to play live and record, in the olden days on MiniDisc and four-tracks and nowadays on Garageband. Currently I’m the only member of the band so it’s essentially solo work, though in theory anyone can contribute.

Official Website: myspace.com/broadbandfiasco

ROUND 1 SONG:The Kenny Show (All Right With Me)

RUN AT THE DOG

songfucomp-19.jpgRun At The Dog are high energy, rock/pop, category-sluts with multi-gendered vocals and intricate arrangements. They are like Abba meets Faith No More meets Mos Def meets the Mormon Tabernacle Choir meets Steely Dan. The songs of this Minneapolis 5-piece are always written right away, with no respect for the calculating mind. Audience members are unsure whether to dance, laugh, or panic.

Official Website: myspace.com/runatthedog

ROUND 1 SONG:Run At The Dog TV Theme

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ROUND 1 VOTING

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And now, it’s time for that all important voting, where you’ll decide who the 5 Challengers are who get to move on to Round 2. Please remember, you can only vote FOR ONE song – so choose very carefully. Also, be sure to vote for your favorite song from our reigning Masters of Song Fu – either Doc Hammer, Jonathan Coulton, or Paul & Storm. You may only vote once, so make it count.

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY, designed and handcrafted by [adult swim] superstar Dana Snyder. Yes. Dana Snyder.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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May 28, 2008

Cabin Fever #25: If At First You Don’t Succeed

Filed under: Cabin Fever — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:55 pm

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cabin.jpgOh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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micstand.jpgCABIN FEVER #25: If At First You Don’t Succeed – Our demented duo return after a short hiatus and, due to rustiness, the episode gets off to the worst of starts – mics aren’t switched on, audio is lost, and everything that can go wrong does until take 3. Undaunted, they manage to squeeze out an hour of infotainment regarding 13-year old geniuses, incarcerated donkeys, and the diplomatic power of Hello Kitty. All this, and they also manage a second installment of the much-lauded “taste test” segment, focusing this time on the almost mythical wax candy: Nik-L-Nips.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #25 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/cabinfever/cabin_fever_25.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

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Win THE INCREDIBLE HULK on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:47 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Universal Home Video, ten (10) copies of THE INCREDIBLE HULK: SEASON 3 and ten (10) copies of THE INCREDIBLE HULK: SEASON 4 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 4th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 4th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Video Interview: Rhett & Link

Filed under: Interviews — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:05 am

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Today, we’ve got a special spotlight on the interweb singer-songwriter/comedy duo, Rhett & Link. Below you’ll find a featurette giving you an overview of the guys and their work, followed by a 4-part interview. Wrapping things up is a music video for their song “All Rising”, made by Quick Stop’s own Bonnie Rose – who you might remember as the winner of the “Colbert Report Green Screen Challenge“.

Bonnie pitched this look at the guys to me, and I said “Sure…” (as is my usual mode of command). Here’s the story behind her video – and the interview – in Bonnie’s own words…

Sometime last year, someone on the neilinnes.org message board started a “What YouTube videos are you currently watching?” thread, and someone posted Rhett & Link’s “Fireworks” song on there. I clicked on it and instantly fell in love with the song.

I thought it was a real country song and they were a real country band.

I recorded it off You Tube into an MP3 and had it there on my rotation for a few months. Then one day, my sister was in the room when it came on and I said, “Sharon, this is a country song I actually like.” She listened to the whole thing and she too instantly fell in love with it. Then we both went off on our separate computers and looked them up to see what else they did.

That’s when I found out they weren’t a country band.

I watched a lot of their videos and loved a lot of them, but I thought the American Idol song was particularly brilliant. I had been wanting to do an animation project, so I thought I’d do an animation to that.

And so I did.

It took me about a month to make it, working 4-10 hours a day. Then I posted it one night as a video response on You Tube to their own American Idol song video. The next morning I got an email from Rhett saying it was the best video response they’d ever had and would I be on their web show that week…

So I did. And that was fun.

But the Rhett & Link muse was still burning strong inside me, and so I came up with the idea to do this thing. Then I asked Ken and he said, “Okay.” Then I interviewed them, they video taped it and sent me the raw footage, and two months later, here you go.

The end.

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May 27, 2008

Toy Box: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Never Ending Merchandise

Filed under: Toy Box — admin @ 4:05 am

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There’s been a ton of hype and merchandise surrounding the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and yet I haven’t covered any of it here at QSE. Oh, I’ve covered plenty at my site, Michael’s Review of the Week, but here at QSE I’ve been remiss in my duties, at least in terms of the Indy fans.

So let’s start fixing that tonight with a look at three of the 3 3/4″ action figures. These are being produced by Hasbro, the makers of the other largest 3 3/4″ series, Star Wars. While I doubt there will ever be as many Indy figures as Star Wars, they certainly have started out with a bang, releasing 17 different figures in the first waves, with even more figures planned to hit in June. Then there’s three vehicles in this scale, as well as eight deluxe sets.

These smaller figures retail for anywhere from $7 – $9, depending on the retailer. While that’s a little steep, many of the retailers have been having sales, and these three I bought at Toys R Us last week during their “buy 2 get a 3rd free” sale, making them less than $5 each.

There are figures in the first 17 from both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As the line progresses, we’ll see figures from all four films, so be prepared for the onslaught.

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“Indiana Jones – Whipping Indy, Colonel Dovchenko, and the Ugha Warrior”

While whipping Indy is from Raiders of course (and yes, there is a Cairo Swordsman to go with him), the other two are from KOTCS. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, obviously they won’t mean as much to you, but trust me – they play key parts.

There are two unique features to this line worth pointing out up front. First, each figure in the series is packed with an ‘artifact’. They come in the little brown crate-like box in the package. These artifacts are generally out of scale for the 3 3/4″ figures, but many of them are actually in sixth scale, making them ideal to go with your Sideshow Indy once he’s here.

The other nifty feature is that there is a mail away with several of the different Hasbro lines. You collect small stamps that come with each figure, pop them into the passport-like form, and send it off to Hasbro with a check for shipping and handling. In the case of the 3 3/4″ figures, the figure is actually a bit of a spoiler, so I’ll just say it’s another character from the KOTCS film and leave it at that.

Packaging – ***1/2
I like the look of the packaging, and the design feels both retro and new. The colors and graphics stand out well on the current pegs, and the figures are shown off nicely by the style of bubble. There’s some personalization on the back of each, as well as small photos of other figures in the line. Sure, they aren’t collector friendly, but did you really expect them to be? At least they’re easy to tear into!

The form for the mail away is in the bottom of the bubble, but the stamp you’ll need is inside the cardboard box with the artifact.

Sculpting – Warrior ***1’2; Dovchenko, Indy **1/2
Once again, the bad guys come out on top. It just shouldn’t be that way when you’re talking about Indiana Jones.

The Indy figure is actually one of the better head sculpts in the line…I think. It’s tough to tell under the paint, but I think with a better application this would have looked quite a bit more like Harrison Ford. The proportions are decent, and the hat is sculpted on the head, a smart move to make it look correctly sized.

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But the leg pose is static, designed to look good with the whipping action and that’s it. I can live with it, but what I can’t live with is the hugely oversized and ugly holster. It throws the look of the whole figure off, and I would have much prefered a sculpted one like Dovchenko’s. Yes, you can put Indy’s pistol in his, but it still looks ridiculous.

Speaking of Dovchenko, his sculpt is pretty nice. The costume has some nice details, particulary in the folds and wrinkles. Both hands are sculpted to hold the accessories, and he stands well on his own. He’s not a perfect match to his movie counterpart, but he makes a good addition to the soldiers in the display.

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The Ugha Warrior is a very different design, and we don’t have enough native peoples in the Indy collection yet. The head sculpt is great, with a nice generic pissed off look, and the ceremonial scarring on his body is actually sculpted on, not just painted. He holds his weapons nicely, and the sculpt and articulation really work well together, allowing him to stand great on his own in a ton of poses.

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Paint – Warrior, Dovchenko ***; Indy **1/2
Paint has been an issue for this line so far, especially the various Indiana Jones figures. If the paint were better, the quality of the sculpt might show through…or not.

From the neck down, Indy isn’t too bad. His outfit isn’t as nicely done as the Cairo version, since the shirt is much to clean looking and there is a fair amount of slop in areas like the edge between the pants and shoes, or the high gloss skin tone on the chest. The face still has a bit of the googly eyes going on, although this one did look a little better to me on the peg than some. The stubble doesn’t look too bad, but overall the figures is average at best.

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I like the Warrior a bit better. None of these figures have a ton of detail (and Hasbro has opted to cast much of the figures in the colored plastic to avoid paint), but the raised scars are painted well, as is the eyes and face. The bone armor has issues with poor cuts between it and the skin in many spots, and shiny plastic colored legs hurt what would otherwise be a better score.

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Dovchenko has a decent paint job as well, but again, nothing to contact your congressman over. The eyes are decent, and there’s more small details on the costume here than many of the other figures in the line, but there’s also enough slop and generally careless work that it ends up being pretty average mass market work.

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Articulation – Warrior, D ***1/2; Indy ***
Of these three, Indy is the least articulated due to the action feature. You better like the leg pose, because it’s what you’re going to be living with.

He has T hips, but only the right leg can move forward and back. The left is reserved for the action feature, where it it’s squeezed inward to move the right arm. Indy does better up top though, with a ball jointed neck (limited range of movement), ball jointed left shoulder, cut right shoulder, pin and peg elbows, and a cut waist. Most of the articulation is there to get a decent pose centered around the whipping action.

The Warrior has much more articulation. His ball jointed neck has a decent range of movement even with the longer hair, and both shoulders are ball jointed (pin/post style). There are also these pin/post style joints at the knees, ankles and elbows, as well as cut wrists, and a cut waist. Finally, he has the T hips.

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Likewise for the Colonel. His articulation matches the Warrior’s, and works about as well. My big grip is the hips on both of them. If there were better hip joints that allowed for more than just forward and backward movement, then the great knee and ankle joints could be put to much better use.

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Accessories – ***
All three of these figures come with two accessories plus their artifact.

Indy has his whip and his pistol. The pistol sculpt is quite good considering the scale, and it fits in his hand relatively well. The whip is a sculpted plastic handle, but the rest of the whip is brown string. I think this was actually a smart idea, as it looks more like it’s braided, and it flips in the air better than a rubber whip. Unfortunately, the handle is huge and oversized, and won’t stay in his goofy right hand when using the action feature even with this issue.

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Indy’s artifact makes up for it though – the lower half of the Grail Tablet! It’s a little small for sixth scale, but close enough for my display, and the tiny letters are even sculpted into its surface. The monotone paint job tends to obscure the letters, but it’s not a bad little accessory for your larger figures.

The good (actually, bad) Colonel comes with two automatic weapons: a rifle and a pistol. The pistol can’t go in his holster (it’s sculpted in one solid piece on his body), but it looks fine in his left hand. I do wish that the articulation would allow you to hold the machine gun in both hands across his body, but it doesn’t quite work.

His accessory is the Chalice of Kali, from Temple of Doom. The sculpt and paint on this are quite nice, certainly the nicest of any of these three. However, it’s scale is all off. It’s too large for the 3 3/” figures, and too small for the 12″ figures. If you bought the 7″ Indy from Disneyland, it would work well with him.

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Finally, there’s the Ugha Warrior. He comes with two weapons as well, a bolo tie weapon and a stone axe. Both of these fit nicely in his sculpted hands. Because of the long handle on the axe, he can actually hold it in both hands, but it’s a bit tough to get it there and keep it there.

His artifact is the plainest of the bunch, a ancient arrowhead. It’s too big for an arrowhead even for 12″ figures, but you can always say it’s a spear head instead. While the sculpt and paint are plain, that’s not too surprising considering that arrowheads tend to be quite basic in design.

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I included a shot of the 12″ Whipping Indy with a couple of the artifacts to give you some idea of scale.

Action Feature – Indy **; Warrior, Dovchenko bupkis
Sometimes, getting a bupkis can really hurt your score. Other times, it’s exactly the opposite.

Here, the fact that the Ugha Warrior and Dovchenko don’t have an action feature is a GOOD thing. I generally hate action features, and not having them means they work just fine as actual action figures.

Indy has one, and while the mechanism has real potential, they screwed up in one very major way.

He has ‘whipping’ action. You place the whip in his right hand, pose the hand above his head, and squeeze his legs together. The right arm snaps forward, cracking the whip. Theoritically.

The whip handle is too small and thin to stay in his grip, however. What that means is that whipping action turns into throwing action, and Indy can toss that whip a good foot or so without any trouble at all. Put a tiny baseball in his right hand, and he can toss out the first pitch on opening day.

Of course, that’s not supposed to be how the action feature works, but this simple mistake turns an action feature with potential (the leg/arm mechanism works quite well) into one that’s merely lame.

Fun Factor – Warrior, Dovchenko ***1/2; Indy **1/2
The two villains here have solid sculpts and articulation, with some cool accessories. They’ll be able to battle Indy and provide plenty of conflict in any play scenario. The Indy is a bit weak though, really only working as a display figure opposite the Cairo Swordsman.

Value – **1/2
With more and more stores dropping the price on these or putting out sales, the value has improved. I’m assuming you end up paying about $7 for these, and at that price they’re a pretty average value. The included artifacts is what makes these a better value at this price than say, Prince Caspian or Pirates of the Caribbean would be.

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Things to Watch Out For –
As I said, some of the googly eyed paint jobs appear to be improving in more recent shipments, especially with Indy himself. Keep an eye out for the best you can find. Other than that, you should be smooth.

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Overall – Warrior ***1/2; Dovchenko ***; Indy **1/2
It’s funny, but so far of the figures I’ve opened up, I generally like the work on the villains much more than on the good guys. That’s the case here again, where both Dovchenko and the Warrior are superior figures to the Indy.

I’ve only opened two Indy’s so far, this one and the deluxe Cairo version with the Ark, but I have to say that the Cairo Indy is still my favorite. This one will make a good display with the Cairo Swordsman, but otherwise, isn’t particularly useful.

I’d pick up the Warrior and Colonel though, to fill out the shelf with interesting villains a bit more. You can always use more bad guys, and both of these are done well.

Where to Buy –
These guys are at just about every major and minor retailer right now, from K-mart to Target. Get out there and go shopping!

Related Links –
I’ve already covered a number of new Indy products:

– in the unusual category, there’s the Blockbuster exclusive DVD Case.
– I reviewed the 12″ German and Cairo Swordsman, as well as both
12″ Hasbro Indy’s.

– in the smaller scale, I looked at some of the deluxe two packs
and several of the single pack figures.

– There’s a number of cool Lego sets, inlcuding this
one
.

– Gentle Giant did a 7″ version for the Disney parks.

– Disney has done a few other Indy figures, including this wave of small
ones
.

– and if you’re looking for something a bit bigger, check out the very cool sixth scale Grail diary, or this
sixth scale figure.

May 26, 2008

TV Or Not TV: 5/26 – 6/1

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — admin @ 5:07 am

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Looking back at last week I feel very compelled to write about something that I think every single year but never vocalize: What American Idol is doing wrong.

Yes, I watch American Idol. I can’t help it. It draws my attention every year in the same sadistic way that I have to look at an auto accident when passing by. After you get that first glance you can’t look away. Not everyone, however, watches American Idol and this year there were periods where the drop in viewers were press worthy. How is it that this show of Titanic size and momentum have these types of lulls? The answers, from this arm chair critics perspective, are very clear and I can’t believe that the show producers and the FOX network don’t have them as well.

1. The weekly guest music professionals are as relevant as an 80’s newspaper would be today
The American Idol demographic is young. Let’s be honest. With this single bit of knowledge how much do you think these young viewers are going to care about Neil Diamond, Dolly Parton or Andrew Lloyd Weber? The season frickin’ finale even had Grand Nash, Donna Summer, Bryan Adams and George “Busted in a Bathroom” Michael. Most twenty somethings wouldn’t even know who these people are, so it won’t draw them in as viewers. The logic of trying to cater to the parents of those that are actually watching is good on paper, but poor in execution.

2. It doesn’t take an hour to give 10 minutes of results
Does this one really even need explaining? Nothing screams filler more than medleys, guest artists most of the audience hasn’t heard of singing songs no one has heard of, and the worst offender of all: Ryan Seacrest taking PHONE CALLS! This isn’t a radio show Ryan, let it go. Special side note: it also doesn’t take two hours to tell us which of two people are taking the title. Stop trying to get Super Bowl numbers. Make it an hour and bring back the past Idol winners to perform because THAT works.

3. Music is OK in movies, but plugging movies on American Idol doesn’t work
It made a small part of me die inside to see Iron Man singing as a Pip to help push Tropic Thunder on the finale. Jim Carey’s week on the show was horribly embarrassing and I want to see The Love Guru even less than I did before seeing Mike Myers do his tired shtick on the finale. I’m sure the studios are throwing mega-dollars at the show to get them on but it just doesn’t work.

4. Idol Gives Back? Please… Idol give up
Don’t get me wrong, I like that the world has another telethon to enjoy, but the celebrity video montages make me cringe. There is a point where you approach being too self important, and Idol Gives Back does just that.

These are my top four. I won’t go into any more because the reality is that what I type won’t change a thing. At least I feel better.

It goes without saying that there is only one day this week that I am waiting for: Thursday. You can get a full three hours of the LOST finale this week when the first part that aired two week’s ago airs in the 8:00 PM slot tonight followed by the two hour season finale starting at 9:00 PM. The 8:00 PM repeat actually is an item of interest because the press conference with the Oceanic Six in this re-air actually has additional footage not originally aired.

Now for the real reason you dropped in, to see everything that is (or in this case isn’t) on TV this week.

MONDAY

SCIFI – 8:00 AM: Nothing says the remembering of our nation’s heroes more then a Star Trek: Enterprise marathon.

ABC – 8:00 PM: In Vacation Swap two families who have never met go on vacation together. How exactly is this a swap? This was more like my childhood every summer after we moved to a new neighborhood.

CW – 8:00 PM: Gossip Girl is in repeats now so if you missed it the first go around (like me) than you can now watch it from the beginning (unlike me).

A&E – 9:00 PM: Ridley and Tony Scott produced a modern retelling of The Andromeda Strain. Tonight is Part 1 and I hear it is the better of the two.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV, it’s back! The Moment of Truth has returned to ruin friendships, marriages and lives.

CW – 9:00 PM: Reaper is also starting over from the beginning. Drink it in.

A&E – 9:00 PM: Part 2 of The Andromeda Strain.

WEDNESDAY

FX – 8:00 PM: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a bounty hunter who has to locate Sean William Scott in The Rundown. The movie is nothing but good absurd fun.

VH1 – 9:00 PM: In case you missed the finale of Flavor of Love last week you can take it in again tonight, followed by the Reunion show. It’s trash-tastic.

THURSDAY

SCIFI – 7:00 PM – 11:00 PM: The SciFi channel is re-airing the 2002 miniseries Stephen King’s Rose Red. This is my suggestion if you aren’t in to…

ABC – 8:00 PM – 11:00 PM: You can enjoy all three parts of the LOST season finale tonight. I don’t know how many questions will be answered, but I expect that by the end of this night we’ll know how Ben wound up in the desert in a parka, who was in the coffin in the last season finale, and the exact reason why Jack is so compelled to get back to the Island.

FRIDAY

ABC Family – 8:00 PM: See what life was like for Lindsey Lohan before all of her current problems in Mean Girls. It’s a much nicer version of Heathers for the current generation, with a far lower body count.

ANIMAL PLANET – 8:00 PM: Get ready to oooh and ahhh watching Meerkat Manor: The Story Begins. I never would have thought I’d find a bunch of animals so compelling, but watching this you do.

SATURDAY

BRAVO – 8:00 PM: The original Major League had Charlie Sheen as a bad boy before we knew he really was one and an innocent looking Wesley Snipes. This movie also makes both baseball and Cleveland entertaining. It’s far more bubble gum than Bull Durham and is easy on the brain entertainment.

SHO – 9:00 PM: The reset of the James Bond films was executed flawlessly with the new version of Casino Royale.

SUNDAY

MTV – 8:00 PM: Mike Myers is hosting this year’s MTV Movie Awards. I’m sure that another painful appearance of The Love Guru will occur, but try to not let that dissuade you.

TNT – 8:00 PM: The movie that introduced us to the concept of the hooker with a heart of gold, Pretty Woman, is on. I think this movie is an award winner for the largest number of continuity errors on screen. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Watch as Julia Roberts is eating a pancake that goes from half eaten to whole again. See, I CAN give you a reason to watch the movie again!

USA – 10:00 PM: If you feel like you’ve been seeing commercials for In Plain Sight for a while it is because you have (over six months to be exact). The good news is that it is worth the wait and once again USA is giving us a quality show. Mary McCormack turns in a great performance in this story of a woman secretly working as a US Marshall who hides people in the Witness Protection Program. This will also help you to kill time if you are waiting for…

CARTOON NETWORK – 11:30 PM: The Venture Brothers is one of the most intelligently written cartoons to come along in a long time. It’s one of the few shows I’ve ever watched on Cartoon Network’s adult swim and I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to its return.

Will Wilkins just got back from Disneyland and practically phoned this one in.

May 25, 2008

SModcast 51

Filed under: SModcast — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:49 pm

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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 51: Sphincter Fresh –

In which our heroes la-di-da-di, ruminate over good rates for sex, fret over a Nazi-occupied America, and encourage attic nookie.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 51 (MP3 format) – 48.84 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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May 23, 2008

Weekend Shopping Guide 5/23/08: The Man With The Hat

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

weekendpicks2008523-00.jpgEver since seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark as a wee child, Indy’s iconic headwear has held a special fascination for me. Even going back 15 years, I contemplated trying to get a fedora of my own – but the price was quite prohibitive (or, at least, relative to my finances today). Still, the dream persisted, and on a trip to Disneyland a few years back I picked up one of their $35 officially licensed fedoras – and I was happy. It looked close enough to the real thing for me to feel like I finally got what I’d always wanted. Ah, but then ThinkGeek had to step in and slap me across the face, and show me that there was a difference between hamburger and steak with their high-end, officially licensed Indiana Jones fedora. Featuring 100% pure felt, a leather headband, and a satin liner, it’s the ultimate geek dream – so, surely, it must be hundreds of dollars… But you’d be wrong! The hat can be yours for just $99. Head on over to ThinkGeek straightaway and get yours, now… You know you want to. Hell, as you can see from the pic below, I’m wearing mine right now… I might even wear it to bed.

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We’ve now officially reached – and passed – the middle of The Muppet Show‘s DVD release with the arrival of season 3 (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP). There’s only two more seasons to go, but you’ll more than enjoy the magnificent clutch of classic episodes contained herein, with guests including Harry Belafonte, Gilda Radner, Pearl Bailey, and more. The 4-disc set also features a welcome return of absolute must-have rarities from the archives (thanks, Craig!), including the public television special “Muppets On Puppets”, Rowlf the Dog Purina commercials, and a spotlight on the Muppet performers.

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With all that attention being paid to the man with the hat, let’s turn our eye towards the original Lucasian franchise that was driven into the ground with an unfortunate return, Star Wars. Before the release of the prequels – even before the release of the special editions – there was an incredible behind-the-scenes tome that was released. Though out of print for years, it was brought back into print a few years back, and it’s celebration of an unsullied Star Wars universe warms my frosted heart. Packed with hundreds of behind-the-scenes photos and detailed information, get your own copy of Star Wars Chronicles (Chronicle Books, $150.00 SRP) and try to recapture some of the magic stolen by that bearded bastard.

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Although still largely unknown in the US, I’m quite the fan of mentalist/magician/illusionist/creepy guy Derren Brown. I heartily recommend you pick up the DVD documenting his live tour Derren Brown: Something Wicked This Way Comes (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£12.99 SRP). It’s a simply stunning piece of theater, and a must-see. The DVD contains deleted scenes and behind-the-scenes footage, but sadly no commentary (I want to know how the walking on glass/reduced circulation trick was accomplished).

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It’s been so long since their airing that I barely remember the episodes features in the 5th season set of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 2-disc set features 10 episodes on topics including obesity, Wal-Mart, breast hysteria, de-toxing, exorcism, immigration, handicap parking, Mt. Rushmore, anger management, and more. Unfortunately, we’re still not getting any bonus features, making the features on the first season set a fluke.

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Although his smarmy, opportunistic, and ultimately destructive behavior became cartoonish in his last years as prime minister, it’s a film like writer Peter Morgan and director Stephen Frears’ The Deal (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£15.99 SRP) that shows that Tony Blair was always a little Machiavelli. The film details the rise to power of Tony Blair, on the back of current Prime Minister Gordon Brown – from the broken Labour Party of the 80’s to their triumphant return in the 1990’s, and the understanding that Blair would step aside after a second term… which, obviously, he did not. Michael Sheen reprises his role as Blair, and David Morrissey is pitch-perfect as Brown. It’s a fascinating piece of political drama that is still having repercussions today.

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Long before her turn as Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker was teamed with Amy Linker in the 80’s prototype for My So-Called Life, Square Pegs (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP). You can now own the complete awkward misadventures of Patty and Lauren in the harrowing halls of Weemawee High School via this new DVD set, featuring all 19 episodes across 3 discs. Bonus materials include interviews with the cast and crew and minisodes of Silver Spoons and The Facts Of Life.

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Longtime readers of this column will know I’m a sucker for historical documentaries, so keep that in mind when I say I watched The Hunt For John Wilkes Booth (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$19.95 SRP), which illuminates and traces the escape route the assassin used after shooting Lincoln.

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If you’re an armchair adventurer, you might want to pick up a copy of The Indiana Jones Handbook: The Complete Adventurer’s Guide (Quirk Books, $18.95 SRP). It’s essentially a tongue-in-cheek survival guide based on the Indy universe, advising on everything from “How To Pass Under A Moving Truck” to “How To Escape The Wrath Of God”.

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If you’ve not yet seen Brass Eye (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP), you need to rectify that egregious comedic oversight immediately. I’m serious. Immediately. As satire goes, it’s absolutely brilliant, pointed, and brutal in its take on the topics of sex, crime, animals, science, and more. The DVD contains the entire series, plus bonus footage, audio commentaries, trailers, and more.

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Often – and unfairly – overshadowed by the much showier Platoon, Hamburger Hill (Lionsgate, Rated R, DVD-$19.98 SRP) gets a new 20th Anniversary special edition of Bravo Company’s struggle to take the infamous Vietnamese hill. Bonus features include n audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a timeline.

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After four seasons of Jim Nabors bumbling around as the titular Gomer Pyle, USMC (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), you pretty much know what you’re going to get. It’s a safe bet that Gomer will screw up something or another on Camp Henderson, much to the consternation of Sgt. Carter. The 5-disc set features all 30 episodes, sparkling-fresh.

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You’ve got to love BBC period dramas – and I do. They’re lush, they’re dependable, and they’re usually packed with top-flight actors. Such is the case with Cranford (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) – based on the works of Elizabeth Gaskell – which features Judi Dench, Michael Gambon, and Imelda Staunton. The sole bonus feature of the 2-disc set is a making-of featurette.

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I was an avid Saturday morning cartoon watcher during the 70’s and 80’s, and even I don’t remember that there was such a beast as the Richie Rich Scooby Doo Show (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP). Despite my lack of knowledge, there apparently was, and the first volume of it is now available – its 2 discs featuring 7 episodes and the featurette “The Story Of Richie Rich”. Who knew?

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Not one to let the dead rest even a moment, George Romero returns with another installment in his seemingly never-ending zombie saga, Diary Of The Dead (Dimension, Rated R, DVD-$24.99 SRP). This go round, it’s the Cloverfield of the run, as we find a group of college film students documenting the rise of the zombie epidemic. Bonus features include an audio commentary, a feature-length documentary, featurettes, and more. Also available is a newly-restored, feature-laden special edition of Romero’s original Night Of The Living Dead (Dimension, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), featuring a pair of audio commentaries, a feature-length documentary, interviews, and more.

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If watching war flicks over the labor day weekend seems kind of old hat, you might want to try taking a look at the veritable wagonload of westerns making their way out of the vaults. First out the gate is Fox, which has dropped John Wayne: The Fox Westerns (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), featuring a quartet of the Duke’s outings for the studio – The Big Trail, North To Alaska, The Comancheros, and The Undefeated – including Fox Movietone News segments, featurettes, audio commentary, trailers, and more. Also available is Fox Western Classics (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), with Rawhide, The Gunfighter, and Garden Of Evil.

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For sheer volume, though, MGM has opened up the floodgates with Man With The Gun, Man Of The West, The Gunfight At Dodge City, Day Of The Outlaw, The Way West, Sergeants 3, Navajo Joe, and The Westerner (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP each), as well as the complete collection of the Michel Biehn starring TV take on The Magnificent Seven (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP).

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If you’re in the mood for a great drama that features Eddie Izzard (and really, who isn’t?), try the Region 2 release 40 (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP), which focuses on the interwoven lives of seven men & women reaching the titular age and realizing exactly who they are – and what they’ve done – in life, with some unforeseen consequences.

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Surely I can’t be the only one that had zero interest in National Treasure, and even less interest in its sequel, National Treasure 2: Book Of Secrets (Walt Disney, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). I mean, I found the story to be lackluster and Nic Cage to be about as interesting as paint drying. No… wait… I’d rather watch the paint, hands-down. For those of you who do care about Cage’s search for the Lost City Of Gold, the 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, outtakes, and more.

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Take Party Animal, mix in The Hills, and add a bit of the envelope pushing of Queer As Folk – oh, and set it all in the UK – and you’ve got the basic formula for Skins (Channel 4, Region 2, Not Rated, DVD-£39.99 SRP), an acclaimed dramedy which follows a group of hard-partying teens that are slipping through the cracks of society in the most hedonistic way possible. The 6-disc box-set features both the first and second seasons, plus interviews, video diaries, bonus stories, and more.

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The be-uniformed crusaders of the Judge Advocate General’s office return in the sixth season of JAG (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$55.98 SRP). Thrills! Spills! Cast shake-ups! The 6-disc set features all 24 episodes, but not a single bonus feature.

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I still believe the film is an unwanted return to a franchise whose potential was dashed upon the rocks of a mediocre first outing, but there is something to be said for Harry Gregson-Williams’ score to The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Walt Disney Records, $19.99 SRP), which really deserves a better film.

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Hoping to fill the void left by Jeff Foxworthy’s departure from the sitcom scene, redneck compatriot Bill Engvall received the eponymous Bill Engvall Show (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), which found him starring as a family counselor with a rambunctious and rowdy family of his own. Fun, right? You be the judge. The 2-disc set features all 8 first season episodes, plus interviews and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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Broadway-philes can give a spin to the new revival cast recording from Rodgers & Hammerstein’s South Pacific (Masterworks Broadway, $18.98 SRP). It’s a nicely upbeat affair that’s the perfect listening companion to the recent Radiohead album.

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As everyone surely knows by now (You have been reading this column, right?), the new Indiana Jones film is currently unspooling (well, I guess there are no spools in digital projection) in theaters around the globe. While I’m not exactly enthused about the new flick, the upside is that it means a return to stores of Indy toys based on the original trilogy, and Raiders in particular. Not only do we have new 3 3/4-inch action figures from Hasbro ($8.99 SRP each), but you can get the young kids the cartoonish “Adventure Heroes” figure 2-packs (Hasbro, $5.99 SRP each). Lego is also in the game with their various playsets, but for sheer simplicity, fun, and economy, you can’t beat the Motorcycle Chase set (Lego, $9.99 SRP) from The Last Crusade, featuring the two Dr. Jones’s pursued by the German soldier.

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However, I’ve saved my favorite Indy toy for last – because it is the most glorious “What in the hell were they thinking” toy I’ve seen in ages. Hasbro’s “Adventure Heroes” line is geared towards 3-year-olds, who one would presume have not seen Raiders of the Lost Ark – and probably won’t be seeing it for a few years. Imagine their shock when they find out the story behind the happy-go-lucky cartoon characters featured in the “Belloq and Ark Ghost” 2-pack ($5.99 SRP)…

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #44: Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:27 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #44: Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy – Ken & Dana lose their memories in a spectacular display of apathy towards their own recent recording history before moving on to video games, Jay Edwards & Ned Hastings, Ken’s comfort zone, Art Garfunkel, the King of the Polka, sugar sandwiches, BUGSY MALONE, pedal cars, and the unkillable Paul Williams.
[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #44 (MP3 format)

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Trailer Park: Why Your Indiana Jones Isn’t As Good As Mine

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 3:07 am

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

This is going to be different than an “I told you so” but looking at what I had to say about THE INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL trailer I can say with a bitty bit of confidence that no matter what you think of my solipsistic, ape-like ability to hammer this column out every single week there is a little bit of truth that I am able to eek out of these trailers which can, unfortunately, be quite revealing to me about why I have reservations about some of the most anticipated films.

I damn near feel like one of those carnival barkers on Saturday mornings in between many a sports show admonishing you to call call call right now to get my free pick of the week. My ability to write about this crap certainly has been pleasurable every single week (sometimes) but it’s never fun to be disappointed at what most people would consider to be the messiah in celluloid shape.

What seems to be the problem many critics are now having with JONES seems to be the very thing which is bright as any halogen spotlight in that trailer. This isn’t a review of the film but when I had the chance to be a part of the Sunday preview this week I just passed at the opportunity in lieu of hanging with 2 dozen mutant children at a birthday party; I didn’t have any inside information about the film but after these trailers and television spots I thought I pretty much knew what to expect.

After reading the reviews that have slowly been oozing their way across the Intertubes I can’t say that I’m kicking myself for making the choice that I did. Certainly, all the hubbub regarding what in fact the crystal skull was and all the bullshit Cease and Desist letters that many sites were using as reasons for taking down images readily available (for anyone who needs a quick legal lesson on Cease and Desist letters for film sites here it is: They are calls/e-mails from studio representatives which provide access to these sites and they are done so as to preserve the movie slave’s free flow of information, to ensure their junket invite still arrives on time, that they’re still allowed to participate in set visits, etc…Just imagine what it would be like if the drama club were actually cool, that this was still high school and that the drama club was the one thing everyone wanted to be in.) and all the hoopla about a movie, if you looked at it close enough, wasn’t that thrilling.

I guess it smarts in a way that this movie has fallen short of unreachable expectations, no one likes to see Harrison Ford ambling around like a grandfather in a role known for lots of physicality, but the fact is that he’s getting up there in age, we’ve all grown up (some of us) and anyone who can look at this franchise with the same awe and wonder as many of us do to the first three films (and, really, let’s all face facts regarding the 3rd installment) and just leave it at that? No, because that would be admitting that there is something inherently wrong about the character but these do not have to be mutually exclusive movies. You can have a clunker in there and still retain that Soul Glo of the trilogy but I think, and I am writing this on Monday night as many of the critics are unleashing their reviews, you will see a lot of that nostalgia permeate the very same reviews which should stand alone; you can’t really tie this 4th installment to the other three as it would be just as unfair to besmirch the good name of STAR WARS just because PHANTOM MENACE was a piece of dog shit.

That’s just me, though, and I realize many of you are already sold on what is the next messiah on celluloid. If you could do me an honest favor, bookmark this rant and come back to me next year when you’ve had a chance to really soak in the film and let me know if I’m wrong? I would like nothing more than than to say this 4th part is just as worthy to stand next to the 3rd, not just as a good action movie, we all know Spielberg can crap those out on a whim, but a movie that still genuinely embodies that sense of mid-century adventure when serials and mindless derring-do was the thing that made movies fun.

Somehow I think that bit will be lost in all the marketing.

SANGRE DE MI SANGRE (2008)

Director: Christopher Zalla
Cast: Armando Hernandez, Jorge Adrian Espindola, Jesus Ochoa, Paola Mendoza
Release:
May 16, 2008
Synopsis: Winner of the Best Film at the Sundance Film Festival (under its former title Padre Nuestro), SANGRE DE MI SANGRE is an exhilarating and provocative thriller from newcomer Christopher Zalla exposing the dark side of the American dream. A young Mexican immigrant, Pedro (Jorge Adrian Espindola), journeys to New York City in search of the successful father he’s never met only to have his belongings and identity stolen by a conniving thief, Juan (Armando Hernandez). As Pedro is left alone and unable to communicate in a country foreign to him, Juan cons his way into the home of Pedro’s father, Diego (Jesus Ochoa), finding a man just as flawed as he is. While Juan attempts to reinvent himself, Pedro’s only hope lies with a mysteriously complex prostitute, Magda (Paola Mendoza), as he frantically searches for his identity back.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Arizona is a funky kind of place to live.

When you’re here, it feels like any other dustbowl that gets to 120 in the July without even trying, it looks like any other cramped and forced suburbia where the homes are all made out of stucco and are no more than 10 feet apart and it has a way of looking desperate and isolated when you fly in here and see that we’re literally one big mass surrounded by an unforgiving desert of nothingness.

Plus, we’re pretty much a lightning rod for immigration reform.

You’ve got some yahoos on one side saying that all illegals should be tossed back to Mexico, you’ve got others who say that English as a Second Language programs should be a part of the state funded curriculum and you even have lots of people debating the merits of whether illegals should be allowed to partake of government programs. On a daily basis this debate rages on in the news but all I want to know is whether the Cubs won another game. That said, though, this movie looks absolutely amazing with regard to getting down to the dangers of what happens when Mexicans want to try and make a go at life here in America, illegally, and run into the kind of drophouse scenarios that happen on a routine basis.

When we open on this trailer we thankfully have a voice over that’s not intrusive as it is helpful to explain what we have: simply, one Mexican meets another on their way to a better life in America. Simple, cut and dry.

What’s more is that the story gets thrilling and even exciting for me when the voice over lets us know that this is a tale of one kid who is genuinely looking for his father in New York while the other guy plans to take advantage of this and beat him to it, and exploit the situation to his favor. I damn near get my jollies when we see that the bad guy beat the other to the punch and we’re instantly tossed to the Sundance, Winner, Best Film logo. Brilliant. It’s perfectly placed, it comes at just the right time and you are unable to do anything else but watch further to find out what is going to happen next.

What follows, the guy supping at this other kid’s father like a leech by taking money and comfort from this unsuspecting dude who thinks this is his son, is delicately followed by positive reviews from the Los Angeles Times, Boston Globe and others. In this trailer it just helps to keep the visibility and credibility of what it’s trying to sell you. And, as you see the kid who really is the guy’s father hot on the tail of the weasel who is bilking him, the tension is wonderfully understated but wholly present.

The subsequent cut scenes that follow when the OG child finds out another has been sleeping in his bed and eating his porridge run rings around any thriller that I have had the misfortune to try to be sold on this year; I’m really concerned about who is going to beat who to the literal punch by the time all is revealed at the end. I’m just as ready to fork over my cash at the end of this trailer as anyone else should be to find out how this all plays out.

BAGHEAD (2008)

Director: Jay Duplass, Mark Duplass
Cast: Steve Zissis, Ross Partridge, Greta Gerwig, Elise Muller
Release:
June 13, 2008
Synopsis: While the Duplass Brothers were shooting their last feature film The Puffy Chair, a crew member raised the question “what’s the scariest thing you can think of?” Someone immediately said “a guy with a bag on his head staring into your window.” Some agreed, but some thought it was downright ridiculous and, if anything, funny (but definitely not scary). Thus, BAGHEAD was born, an attempt to take the absurdly low-concept idea of a “guy with a bag on his head” and make a funny, truthful, endearing film that, maybe, just maybe, was a little bit scary, too.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Brilliant.

I swear, you do enough of these trailer reviews and you start to wonder whether it is possible to be original and fresh with regard to making you feel connected to a film and energize you to open your mind to what’s on the screen. I’m here to say that it is possible and that this trailer deserves a few viewings in order to see how good this thing is built from the ground up.

First, you have a plucky musical score behind the opening sequence. It sets the mood perfectly as we open on a car rolling down an empty and hollow road. As well, we’re entertained to the entire plot of the movie. We hear why these people are where they are, why it’s important to keep tuned in and why this makes a good movie. Hell, we get it all of this within the first 10 seconds.

This is the first reason why this trailer is great.

Second, boom, we’re hit with the Official Sundance logo. Perfect, perfect, perfect. I realize no one of great importance reads this column but I am thankful to the silent stars that someone gets the notion that you need to put these accolades in the front, not to bury it in the middle or end when I’ve made up my mind to forget your film. This just helps to solidify the pedigree of the movie and it works even better, as this trailer does, when we’re smacked with the idea that the movie these four people are going to make in the woods comes about due to a dream. Or is it?

This is the second reason why this trailer is great.

As we entrench ourselves into the unique and very original premise of this film there is a sense of interest I don’t usually get out of my trailers. I actually found myself glued to what was coming next. The baghead premise is one that is both funny and scary when you feel like something’s not going to turn out right. When one of the four members of the film shoot for the weekend express a desire to have his part written as the romantic interest of one of the ladies in the group you can already feel the double tension building.

The quotes, the many many quotes, genuinely help to ballast the reputation of this film’s thesis that it’s a film worth watching in its entirety. The tension then continues to build between the guys for the affections of the ladies and then the grizzly idea that this baghead is indeed a psychopathic element that is actually happening. It’s funny, to be sure, when one of the ladies meets with a baghead (Is he/she real? Is someone really going to die?) only to admit at the breakfast table when no one fesses up to them being it that the baghead, then, has seen her naked. It’s funny/scary at the same time.

The ending’s quick cuts, normally a bane of every shitty and shoddy trailer which employs them, actually increases the uneasy sense that this movie is more than just about 4 people wanting to make a movie; it seems like a bizarre combination to have but this really does seem like a tasty Twix and Oreo combo with a hearty glass of milk.

Yum.

BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER* (2008)

Director: Christopher Bell
Cast: Hulk Hogan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone
Release:
May 30, 2008
Synopsis: In America, we define ourselves in the superlative: we are the biggest, strongest, fastest country in the world. We reward speed, size and above all else: winning – at sport, at business and at war. Metaphorically we are a nation on steroids. Is it any wonder that so many of our heroes are on performance enhancing drugs? From the producers of Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11 comes a new film that unflinchingly explores our win-at-all-cost culture through the lens of a personal journey. Blending comedy and pathos, BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER* is a collision of pop culture, animated sequences and first-person narrative, with a diverse cast including US Congressmen, professional athletes, medical experts and everyday gym rats. At its heart, this is the story of director Christopher Bell and his two brothers, who grew up idolizing muscular giants like Hulk Hogan, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and who went on to become members of the steroid-subculture in an effort to realize their American dream. When you discover that your heroes have all broken the rules, do you follow the rules, or do you follow your heroes?

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. Goddamn!

I’d like to consider myself worldly enough in assuming that I’ve seen almost anything and everything. I realize the occasional off-beat news story about some high school PE teacher having her way with a female student is the one off exception to that rule, however, a trailer like this that repulses me from the get go deserves the distinction of WTF Of The Week.

When we meet Valentino, a meathead of the very highest order, rank and distinction, he is perhaps the one thing that could have drew me in to seeing INDIANA JONES the very first week of release. Since he isn’t, and he’s in this documentary, you can bet my jones is finding out how a freak like this guy literally was able to make his bicep bigger than the vertical circumference of his head. If you’re not impressed by this guy’s addiction to steroid use you need to lay off those fetish porn sites.

Valentino’s further introduction, made quite personal by his real honest interview where he’s the first to admit that his freakish appearance does not impress the ladies, anchors this documentary in a space where it’s less sensational than it is an examination into what might be at the forefront for the culture of physical power we’ve seemed to engender here in America.

I will say from an aesthetic point of view this trailer goes further than the MTV, True Life-ization, surface investigation into what makes steroids such an attractive alternative to these men who think that their idols such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan were physical templates they needed to live up to, literally, and they incorporate war imagery in a way that makes me pause for a moment. I don’t quite know how initially the two square but as the narrative unfurls a little further we see that this is an American culture we’re talking about, one where you need to be able and strike fast and hard. Without steroids, it seems to imply, there couldn’t have been a triumphant Rocky, a liberating Rambo or even a defeat of Andre the Giant.

It’s about at this point when we get “From the Producers Of BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE and FAHRENHEIT 9/11 that I have drank the Kool-Aid for this thesis; not that I’m any believer in the totality of either production, mind you. There were more than enough issues and factual misrepresentations and leaps of logic we all could back a Mack truck into but the way in which the information in those two films were presented at least had a nice gloss to it.

I’m even jolted back to sympathy when we get a voice over from one of three brothers who are profiled in this movie. When he comments that, as a bodybuilder, he was affected by the revelations that Hogan and his other heroes were absolutely taking things into their bodies to enhance their physical appearance that normal weight lifting simply could not do you are brought down to a genuine tale of conflict. And, when he says that two of his brothers currently do take steroids to enhance their physicality you can’t help but be affected by it.

As well, one of the things that bring this message home is perhaps one of the most point blank, reflexive questions: In order to provide for your family and in order to keep your job would you take steroids? I know for some of you who don’t have either this is a moot question but just softening your focus on this question and thinking of someone else other than yourself kind of brings this debate to one of personal responsibility and the What If questions that easily makes this trailer poignant if nothing else.

The hideous visage of a “woman” who is so obviously afflicted with small nuts and a dude’s voice is enough for any person to go clean, the hilarious steroid fueled cow is a sight that almost trumps Valentino’s bizarre in all its bizarre physicality and one air force pilot’s assertion that in sports you should play fair and, in war, you shouldn’t play fair at all. Again, it’s a flashy sound bite that made COLUMBINE and 9/11 such documentary darlings.

And, when, one guys talks about how people cheat to get ahead and they flash images of nutritional supplements and politicians, the video image of George Bush is enough to induce a few laughs.

May 21, 2008

Comics in Context #224: My Cinco de Mayo

Filed under: Comics in Context — admin @ 5:16 am

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cic2008-05-21-01.jpgThis week I was going to plug my new course at New York University’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies: “The Superhero as American Icon.” But then last week I received bad news: only two people had signed up for the course, so NYU was canceling it. This keeps happening. Where is this wave of serious interest in the comics medium that I keep hearing about?

Well, I saw that wave–a tidal wave–hit on the fifth of May. That was the day that I attended the press opening of a new exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art: “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy.” Organized by curator Andrew Bolton for the Costume Institute, the Metropolitan’s department of fashion, this exhibition explores similarities between superhero costumes and contemporary trends in fashion. (See the Met’s own online version of this exhibition here)

Moreover, the most glittering social event of the year in New York City is the Costume Institute’s annual gala. This year the gala was being held for the opening of “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” the night of May 5, mere hours after the press preview. Two of the co-chairs of the gala were Julia Roberts and George Clooney, who, of course, played Batman in the 1997 movie Batman and Robin.

So there I was, heading towards the Metropolitan on a beautifully sunny, warm spring morning, clutching the envelope with my invitation to the press preview. I was amazed when I first saw the invitation: it had a reproduction of artwork by none other than comics’ premier creator of painted illustrations, Alex Ross (Marvels, Kingdom Come, Justice).

Arriving on Fifth Avenue outside the Museum, I was excited to see a sign “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” hanging above the main entrance of America. This is the Metropolitan, America’s leading art museum, and one of the greatest art museums in the world, on a short list with the Louvre. And there on the Fifth Avenue facade were signs advertising the Met’s Courbet retrospective and its “Poussin and Nature” exhibition, and in the center, a sign about a show inspired by comics.

I expected to see that “Superheroes” sign; I did not expect what I saw as soon as I passed through the front doors. There, in the center of the Museum’s Great Hall, standing atop an immense pedestal, were statues of DC Comics’ trinity, Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, twelve feet tall, towering above the arriving guests. It was a sight that I dare say none of us ever imagined we’d see in the main entrance hall of this temple of high art. Was this the Bizarro World’s Metropolitan?

Despite what the Beat wrote in her blog, the statues, which had temporarily displaced the visitor information desk, were there only for the day of the gala. I subsequently found out that for the Gala’s dinner that evening, the Met’s wing housing the ancient Temple of Dendur, transplanted from Egypt, was decorated with gigantic mock ice crystals to resemble the Fortress of Solitude from the Superman movies–again, for one day only.

Turning left in the Great Hall, I entered the long central gallery of the Greek and Roman wing, passing an ancient statue of a wounded Amazon, on my way to see a show dealing with Wonder Woman. How appropriate it is that visitors must enter a hall of statues of idealized bodies, in a wing featuring images of ancient gods and heroes, in order to make their way to the Special Exhibitions Gallery where the Met’s new exhibit hails those figures of modern pop mythology, comic book superheroes.

Indeed, “Superheroes'” first wall text, accompanied by a 1981 Superman print by Andy Warhol, curator Bolton demonstrates that he too understands the connection: “Like the biblical and mythological heroes who are their ancestors. superheroes have served as avatars of our hopes, dreams, and desires. Perhaps because they . . .evolved from comic books, superheroes have been dismissed as frivolous and superficial. But superheroes should not be underestimated. Their apparent triviality is the very thing that gives them the ability to address serious issues of merit and worth, that frees them to respond to and comment upon shifting attitudes toward self and society, toward identity and ideology.” Bolton continues, “The superhero is most effective as metaphor.” Yes. He Gets It.

And what is the connection between fashion and superhero comics, you may winder? The wall text states that fashion and the superhero genre both deal with “the power of transformation. Fashion, like the superhero, celebrates metamorphosis, providing unlimited opportunities to remake and reshape the flesh and the self.” (The wall texts also appear as parts of Bolton’s essays in the Met’s catalogue for the exhibit.) To dress up, to thereby adopt a more glamorous persona, or to don clothing that expresses a side of your personality that ordinary clothing does not, is like Clark Kent turning into Superman.

In fact, early in the show there is a display in which, through lighting tricks, a mannequin dressed as Clark Kent transforms before your eyes into one dressed in Christopher Reeve’s Superman uniform from the movies. DC Comics, Warner Brothers, and Marvel cooperated with the exhibition, which includes a good number of movie costumes, including Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman uniform from the 1970s TV series (She attended the Gala that evening), Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman costume from Batman Returns (1992), Christian Bale’s Batman uniform from The Dark Knight (2008), and even the second version of Iron Man’s armor from the new movie. Both Tobey Maguire’s red and blue costume and the black costume from Spider-Man 3 (2007) are on display; the mannequin in the black costume clings to the wall, reminding me of Kiki Smith’s black sculpture of Lilith in the Met’s modern art galleries. Atop a rotating pedestal is a mannequin covered with the appliances simulating blue-skinned nudity of the sort that Rebecca Romijn wore as Mystique in the X-Men movies.

Among the printed backdrops behind the costume displays are blown-up reproductions of Alex Ross artwork from JLA: Secret Origins (2002) for the Flash section, and from Batman: War on Crime (1999), behind the Bale uniform. Yes, Alex Ross’s work is now on display at the Met, and he gets credited for it, too, unlike certain other artists, as we shall see.

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There are a number of costumes in the exhibition that explicitly work variations on Superman’s “S” emblem. But the majority of the clothes in this show do not demonstrate direct influence from the comics. Rather, the “Superheroes” exhibition shows comic book artists and fashion designers following parallel paths in working along various themes. Hence, the section called “The Aerodynamic Body” compares the sleek uniform of the Silver Age Flash, suitable to a man who runs at super-speed, with bodysuits from Nike and Speedo intended for athletes. “The Patriotic Body” segment deals with American flag motifs in the uniforms of Captain America and Wonder Woman as well as costumes from the House of Dior. The Maguire Spider-Man costumes appear alongside fashions utilizing webbing motifs designed by Giorgio Armani, John Galliano, Jean Paul Gaultier, Thierry Mugler and others. (Armani even pointed out in an interview that he was not thinking of Spider-Man when he designed the costume in the show.)

cic2008-05-21-02.jpgThe athletic bodysuits serve a practical function. As for the other costumes in the show, it is hard to imagine anyone wearing them on the street. That is probably the point: this exhibit is about fashion as dressing up for display at parties and galas, for putting on alternate identities, not as practical everyday wear.

The fashion designers’ costumes are not only often entertainingly over the top, but in a number of cases delve into kinkiness. The show links Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman costume, torn in intriguing places, to dominatrix garb, and the other mannequins in this display wear variations on that theme. Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man armor, its eyes and chest beam lit up, stands among female mannequins wearing “armored” costumes that, far from providing protection, expose vulnerable body parts, even the breasts.

The Beat described Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman costume as comparatively demure in this company. I’d say that it has a simplicity and regality that most of the fashion designers’ costumes here lack. The Met’s show emphasizes the side of superhero fashion that pushes against the limits of social acceptability. (Indeed, during the press conference that morning, curator Andrew Bolton reportedly described the costumes in display as “extreme, phantasmagoric, hard edged, aggressive, overtly sexualized fashion.”) But superhero costumes, like Captain America’s, Wonder Woman’s and Superman’s, have an iconic dimension, setting to inspire audiences with visual representations of the community’s ideals. This is a side to superhero imagery that the Met’s show fails to address.

Before I could finish going through the entire exhibit, taking notes, everyone moved out the other end of the gallery to what is perhaps my favorite space within the Met, the Petrie Sculpture Court, for a press conference. This usually quiet, sparsely populated indoor courtyard was now packed with press representatives, with photographers jammed together along one side.

The first speaker was the third co-chair of the gala, Anna Wintour, the editor in chief of Vogue. The Beat has pointed out that Wintour was the only guest at the evening’s gala who came dressed in a way that genuinely evoked superhero costumes. Wintour was quoted as saying she came as Storm from X-Men, but seeing the photos of Wintour at the Gala, I realized she looked like a very different X-Men character: a real life version of Emma Frost, the White Queen, as originally drawn by John Byrne!

Wintour devoted her speech to praising Philippe de Montebello, who has served as director of the Metropolitan since 1977, longer than anyone else in its history, and who is retiring at the end of this year. (He’s going to be teaching at NYU!) “This will be Philippe’s last Costume Institute exhibit at the museum,” she pointed out. “Alone among world class museum directors,” Wintour asserted, de Montebello had “the vision to acknowledge the role that style, self-presentation, and design play in modern culture,” and has “executed that vision in a way that has inspired millions to think of fashion as one of our most complex and rich decorative arts.” She extolled de Montebello for giving his curators “the freedom to explore the connections between what we wear and how we live,” even though “the fashion world may not be his world,” and declared de Montebello to be “superheroic.”

This should remind us that there are other artforms besides our own–fashion, film, photography–that have had to struggle for serious recognition, and that it is important to have allies in the world of high culture who are open to recognizing what is important and enduring in popular culture. It’s rather wonderful from my standpoint that de Montebello’s final Costume Institute show also represents, as far as I know, the Met’s first dabbling into the artform of comics in a half century. (Readers of R. C. Harvey’s new biography of Milton Caniff will learn that the Met did a survey of American comics back in the 1950s, and still owns an original Caniff somewhere in its archives.)

Wintour then introduced de Montebello, who had not expected her lavish praise: “I have been accused of many things,” he said, “but loss of words was never one,” confessing that he felt “so utterly overwhelmed” and “surprised” by her speech. He returned her compliment, stating that Wintour “is our superheroine” in her contributions to the Costume Institute.

Agreeing with Wintour, de Montebello said that he “did not presume” to have “expertise in fashion,” but “I did give them quite free rein,” referring to the Costume Institute’s curators. De Montebello declared that the Costume Institute had proved itself to be “not an ancillary curatorial department but a full-fledged member of the academic part of this institution.”

Significantly, de Montebello made the point that art can come in a variety of forms. “Do they have to be rectangular or framed, or carved out of stone” he asked, “as opposed to being worn?” This too is a point applicable to our own artform.

Then, demonstrating that he too “got” one of the major points of the Superheroes” exhibition, de Montebello spoke of the nearby Greek and Roman wing (whose recent renovation and reinstallation is the crowning achievement of his long directorship), “which is filled with great mythic superheroes of ancient times.” He spoke of “the representations of Hercules” as the forebear of Superman, “or the huntress, Diana” which “led to Wonder Woman,” and pointed to Antonio Canova’s statue of Perseus, slayer of the Gorgon Medusa, standing before him in the Petrie Court.

Praising “the myth itself of Anna Wintour, who has co-chaired this event for the past ten years,” de Montebello then introduced “in our midst a true myth of this field,” the honorary co-chairman of the evening’s gala, and sponsor of both the exhibit and its catalogue, fashion designer Giorgio Armani.

Armani spoke in Italian, translated by a woman standing nearby. He confessed he’d lost the paper with his prepared speech, but told us he “will figure something out,” and proceeded to improvise quite well. He first thanked New York City for supporting his work for thirty years and remarked on the “love of fashion that imbues the city [New York] at all levels–rich people, not so rich people.”

Armani said he was “surprised” to be asked to sponsor this show, since he is famous for “a fashion that is worn mainly”; as I noted, one wouldn’t wear the outfits in this show in everyday life. Armani joked that the “curators must have worked very hard to find something in my past production to be in the exhibit.” Nonetheless, he “would’ve made twenty dresses to be in this exhibit, but they said, “˜Shut up, Armani!'” Though he found the costumes on display “quite spectacular,” Armani admitted to wondering, “Did these guys have the guys to show them in London and Paris?”, referring to “the brave designers.”

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Armani closed by thanking the “cartoonists from the 1930s and 1940s who conceived of these characters,” and making a reference to Flash Gordon (not a superhero, but close enough!). And as soon as he was done, the translator told us they “just found the speech.” He hadn’t needed it: he was wonderful.

Next up was curator Andrew Bolton, who revealed that “Philippe admitted in a moment of candor” to reading Captain Marvel as a child. Bolton then went on to explain that the letters of Captain Marvel’s magic word, “Shazam,” stood for the names of ancient gods and heroes; thus Bolton reinforced the point of connecting ancient mythology with the pop mythology of the superhero genre. Bolton also praised de Montebello for his “intellectual elasticity,” presumably meaning his openness to doing shows not just about unusual fashions but about comic book superheroes as well.

Bolton revealed that they had first “toyed” with the idea for this show five years ago, and that originally the idea was to focus on clothing that actually enhances one’s physical abilities. There are still some of these in the exhibit, including “wingsuits” from Atair Aerospace that enable the wearer to glide through the air. (Over at the Museum of Modern Art, in its recent “Design and the Elastic Mind” exhibition, I had seen an exoskeleton-like device that amplified the strength of the wearer’s arm, much like Iron Man’s armor!)

Bolton explained that both fashion and the superhero genre reflect the “zeitgeist” and “mirror'” themes that are “social, political, even sexual,” and that both fashion and superhero stories allow you “to act out your fantasies” and “to transform yourself.”

Bolton said that the show was “partly inspired” by Michael Chabon’s novel about the early days of comic books, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, and he thanked Chabon, who wrote an essay in the catalogue and was present at the press preview (although, alas, I never saw him there).

Bolton also thanked DC and Marvel for their cooperation with the show” and their patience over our somewhat idiosyncratic interpretation.” (You mean, like Catwoman as dominatrix?)

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Then Bolton introduced the final speaker, Nathan Crowley, the British production designer for the films Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, who designed the exhibition space for “Superheroes.” Crowley told us that he’d never designed a museum space before, and how he’d employed a trick from the movies, using mirrors to “elongate corridors.” I can attest that he did a great job: the first floor Special Exhibitions Gallery is usually a dark, even somewhat claustrophobic space, but “Superheroes” is brightly lighted, and the mirrored walls create a powerful illusion that the exhibit space is far bigger and more filled with people (who turn out to be reflections of ourselves) than it truly is. And can we credit Crowley for the idea of using the Alex Ross printed backgrounds?

With the press conference over, I returned to the “Superheroes” exhibition. Along a wall at the end of the exhibit was a row of vintage comic books, each relating to one of the characters featured in the show. There was Amazing Fantasy #15 (1963, the first appearance of Spider-Man), Amazing Spider-Man #252 (1984, the first appearance of Spider-Man in his black costume), Sensation #1 (1942, the first cover appearance of Wonder Woman, who had earlier debuted in All-Star Comics #8), Captain America Comics #1 (1941, the debut of Captain America, famously punching Hitler in the jaw on the cover), Incredible Hulk #1 (1972), Fantastic Four #51 (1966, “This Man, This Monster,” featuring the Thing), Batman #42 (1947, featuring the Catwoman in her Golden Age costume, which the exhibit never mentions), Detective Comics #33 (1939, an early Batman comic whose cover illustration makes his cape look particularly like bat wings), Tales of Suspense #39 (1963, the debut of Iron Man), Flash Comics #1 (1940), X-Men #1 (1963), Amazing Spider-Man #129 (the first appearance of the Punisher), and Marvel Spotlight #5 (the premiere appearance of the Ghost Rider).

Yet there was something missing. The museum’s labels for the covers on display specified the titles of the comics, their cover dates, and the name of the person or company that lent the copies of the comics. But what about the names of the artists? Like Jack Kirby, who drew the covers for Amazing Fantasy #15, FF #51, Incredible Hulk #1 and X-Men #1, and collaborated with Joe Simon on the cover of Captain America Comics #1?

For that matter, in the exhibition catalogue, distributed by Yale University Press, there are many, many reproductions of classic comic book covers, and once again, the titles of the comic books and their cover dates are specified, but not the artists’ names.

The book’s essays and the exhibition’s wall texts make a practice of listing the creators of each comic book character they mention. Some errors creep in. The Metropolitan follows DC’s official line that Bob Kane was the sole creator of Batman; once again, Batman’s first writer, Bill Finger, is the forgotten man. The wall text for Iron Man lists his creators as Stan Lee and Larry Lieber, neither of whom drew the character’s first story. (I salute the credits for the Iron Man movie for getting it right, listing Lee, Lieber, Don Heck, who drew the first story, and Jack Kirby, who designed Iron Man’s original armor.) In the case of the Flash, the exhibition and the book correctly name Gardner Fox and Harry Lampert as the creators of the original Flash back in 1940. But “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” is concerned not with the Golden Age Flash’s costume, but with the streamlined, modern uniform worn by the Silver Age Flash. The name of its designer, Carmine Infantino, is not to be found in the show or the catalogue.

Is it imaginable that the Metropolitan Museum would exhibit artwork in its galleries for drawings and prints on the second floor without naming the artist in the accompanying label, if that artist’s identity was known? How hard is it to identify the artists for classic DC and Marvel covers in the age of the Internet’s Grand Comics DataBase, or when there are acknowledged experts both within and outside the Big Two comics companies?

No, if the Metropolitan failed to name the comics artists responsible for those covers, then it must be that the museum did not feel that their identities are important. How different is this from the way that Roy Lichtenstein would base his pop art paintings on comics panels drawn by Kirby or by Russ Heath without crediting them? Or that Warhol at the start of the Metropolitan exhibition that is so clearly based on a Superman drawn by Curt Swan–but not credited as such?

Moreover, some of the artists who helped create the superhero costumes acclaimed in the exhibition are still with us: Joe Simon (Captain America)–95 years old but still active, Carmine Infantino (The Silver Age Flash), John Romita, Sr. (The Punisher), and Mike Ploog (Ghost Rider). Wouldn’t it be wonderful if these artists were invited to appear at the Metropolitan during the run of the exhibition, which does not close until September 1?

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With “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy,” the Metropolitan has come a long, long way towards acknowledging comics as an artform. But the Metropolitan also still has a long way to go.

There was something else at the end of the exhibit, the biggest surprise of all for me. Near that wall of vintage comics is a little gift shop, which, among other things, sells Alex Ross superhero prints and books about superior comics. And I was flabbergasted to see among them my own Marvel Comics Travel Guide to New York City! Looking further, I found The Marvel Vault, which Roy Thomas and I wrote. As I watched, one of the attendees even bought a copy of the Travel Guide, which I quickly offered to autograph. (He said yes.) And on a subsequent visit to the Metropolitan, I discovered that both books were also prominently displayed on a table in the front if this Met’s main gift shop, as well! I had never anticipated this, but I was a part of the Met’s “Superheroes” show!

Following the press conference, most of the attendees quickly left, but I stayed nearly till the exhibit closed at 1 PM, and was even interviewed by a reporter for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. (She said she had been told I was a comics historian, and I still don’t know by whom. Did any of my readers up in Canada see the CBC report on the exhibit? Did they use my interview?)

On my way out of the Museum I saw that the red carpet for that evening’s gala opening had been laid down along the Metropolitan’s celebrated front steps. I thought, why not? And I made my exit walking down the red carpet. My books were being sold at the Met, and I had just been interviewed by Canadian television; I felt like a bit of a celebrity myself.

THE MAN IN THE IRON MASK

My next stop was a nearby movie theater, where I saw a matinee screening of the new Iron Man movie. In the Beat’s annual survey last January, I wrote that one of the big comics-related stories to watch in 2008 was Marvel Studios’ first efforts at producing motion pictures in their own. There have been so many disappointing Marvel-based movies over the last decade–Ang Lee’s Hulk, Ghost Rider, Punisher, Daredevil, Elektra, the two Fantastic Four films; they may have made money, but they weren’t good. Marvel had input into these movies, but major Hollywood studios had been in charge. Could Marvel Studios, a newcomer attempting to become a new major, fare any better producing on its own? Iron Man demonstrates that the answer is yes. Iron Man has not only proved to be a commercial blockbuster, but it’s a superb translation of the comics series to the screen. To my mind, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy is still at the very top, but director Jon Favreau’s Iron Man ranks right below them, above even the X-Men movie series. Maybe Marvel Studios’ main role was simply to give Favreau and his writers and cast creative freedom, but that has proved to be a wise decision.

From seeing the trailer for the Iron Man movie, I was concerned that Robert Downey, Jr., despite looking like Tony Stark, complete with mustache, would project too lightweight a persona for the character. I was expecting a more conventional leading man performance. But watching the movie, I was quickly won over, just like the soldiers accompanying Stark in the opening scene, who swiftly segue from seemingly regarding him as obnoxious to be charmed and delighted by him.

When Stan Lee and his collaborators introduced Tony Stark in 1963, he was a “millionaire playboy” in the mode of Bruce Wayne and other pulp and comics heroes.

It’s now well known that Lee was inspired by the young Howard Hughes in depicting Stark. Movie reviewers who find it unlikely that there could be someone like Stark who was a brilliant inventor, a multimillionaire, and a handsome ladies’ man should be reminded that the young Hughes was all of these things before he was swallowed up by madness. After the Fantastic Four movies caricatured the genius Reed Richards as a stereotypical geek, it’s refreshing that the Iron Man movie makes it clear that you can be smart and simultaneously be the complete opposite of a social misfit.

Moreover, the “playboy” persona fit the early 1960s, with the rise of Playboy magazine and its definition of cool. I suppose that makes Stan Lee’s Hitchcockian cameo in this movie particularly appropriate: a gag in which Stark mistakes him for Hugh Hefner. (But Stan is so entertaining at comics cons that I wish more filmmakers would let him talk in his cameos! He’s wonderful in his bit parts in the FF movies.)

In retrospect, Stan’s treatment of Stark as playboy seems rather naive. If Stark was trying to keep secret the fact that he wore a metal chestplate that kept his injured heart beating, how did he hide it from his lovers? Even if he never took off his clothes, which would seem downright strange, wouldn’t they feel the chestplate?

How do you make the “millionaire playboy” persona work in the 21st century? Isn’t it dated? Downey, Favreau and company found a way to make it work. In the early part of the movie Downey’s Tony Stark is self-centered, often irresponsible, and frequently exasperating. And yet he’s also witty, charming, ingratiating, and genuinely fond of his friends like James Rhodes. You can see how he annoys and irritates his friends and close colleagues, like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts, and yet it’s also perfectly clear why they continually forgive him and why he wins their loyalty and love. Downey’s Tony Stark has genuine charisma, and that is an essential part of the Stark character. Moreover, after he becomes Iron Man and develops a stronger sense of responsibility, he is credibly heroic and committed to his newfound ideals as well.

In the movie Stark starts out being irresponsible in many ways, from being inattentive to schedules to perhaps drinking too much (in an allusion to Stark’s becoming an alcoholic in the comics, quite possibly a storyline that will emerge in the movie’s sequel), to womanizing, to, most importantly, manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, even if they are intended for the U. S. government. The movie suggests that Stark’s brush with death, which leads to his becoming Iron Man, shakes him out of his immaturity, and makes him realize Stan’s famous lesson, that with great power- must come great responsibility. On returning to his factory after nearly dying in Afghanistan, Stark immediately announces that he is getting out of the munitions business. Indeed, in the movie Stark is fatally injured by his own weaponry, which has fallen into the hands of terrorists: his own bad karma has struck him down.

I didn’t think that in Stan Lee and Larry Lieber’s origin story for Iron Man back in Tales of Suspense #39 that they meant for Stark to be presented in a negative light. As noted, the playboy was considered the epitome of cool in the early 1960s. Moreover, Lee and company created Iron Man during the Cold War, only a year after the Cuban Missile Crisis (Lee’s 1960s Stark could also be regarded as Kennedyesque), and although the origin story is set in Vietnam, this was long before the antiwar movement if the 1960s became a major political force. Stan’s Iron Man stories of the 1960s take a militant Cold War viewpoint, with a parade of Communist villains, like the Titanium Man, and, of course, Wong Chu, the terrorist who captures Stark in the origin tale. I believe that Stan Lee thought that Stark was entirely admirable, both in devising weaponry for his country’s defense, and in traveling to Vietnam to witness his weaponry used in combat. In becoming Iron Man, a weapon himself, who could battle Communist super-menaces hand to hand, Stark was going to the next level.

But I don’t object to Favreau and Downey and company turning Iron Man’s origin story into a saga of personal redemption. That is very much in the Stan Lee tradition, and perhaps more specifically, in the tradition of the Stan Lee-Steve Ditko collaboration on Spider-Man and Doctor Strange. On becoming Spider-Man, Peter Parker starts turning into, well, an a-hole, using his amazing new abilities merely to seek fame and fortune, and allowing a fleeing criminal to escape because it’s none of his business. But it is indeed his business: that same Burglar murders Peter’s Uncle Ben, and Spider-Man must forever live with the guilt of knowing that he could have prevented Ben’s death but didn’t. Dr. Stephen Strange is an arrogant New York City surgeon, who is more interested in using his medical talents to make himself rich than genuinely concerned with the health of his patients. When an automobile accident injures his hands enough so that he can no longer perform operations, Strange loses everything, sinking into poverty. Only when he discovers a new purpose in life, selflessly battling evil as the student of the Ancient One, does Strange begin moving towards redemption.

I have no problem within Favreau and his collaborators turning Iron Man’s origin into a similar take of pride going before a fall, and that fall leading to moral rebirth. This is true to the overall themes of Stan Lee’s Marvel work, and it is an excellent way of making a hero whom Lee portrayed as a munitions maker and playboy acceptable to contemporary audiences.

Even in Stan’s and Larry Lieber’s original version of Iron Man’s origin, I perceive a theme that crops up repeatedly in Lee’s work. Tony Stark is a man who has everything, who seems to lead a perfect, charmed life, when it is abruptly taken away from him without warning: the multimillionaire genius is unexpectedly felled by a booby trap in Vietnam and left near the point of death. Similarly, Peter Parker did not expect that the Burglar would kill Uncle Ben, Reed Richards did not anticipate the radiation storm that struck his spaceship, Stephen Strange did not realize he would be in a car crash, and Bruce Banner did not predict that his assistant would try to kill him in the gamma bomb test. There is a disturbing side to Stan Lee’s classic origin stories: happiness and security and life itself are unstable and ephemeral, and can end at any time.

As a comics historian. I am impressed at how the Iron Man movie skillfully weaves together elements from throughout the character’s history. I do not expect movie adaptations to literally transfer every detail from the comics to the screen. It does not bother me that the site of Iron Man’s origin has been moved from Vietnam to Afghanistan: that is an intelligent updating. Moreover, given the shift in venue, I could not have hoped for a better, more powerfully effective dramatization of Stan Lee and Larry Lieber’s Iron Man origin story. The fact that in the movie the terrorists have gotten hold of Stark’s own technology makes it easier to believe that Stark could have created the original Iron Man battlesuit in primitive surroundings than it is in the original comics story.

The movie’s terrorist group is called the Ten Rings, an obvious allusion to Iron Man’s archenemy, the Mandarin. It was John Byrne, in reworking Iron Man’s origin, who first established that the Mandarin was the mastermind behind Wong Chu. Some have speculated that the bald terrorist leader in the movie will turn out to be the Mandarin in the sequel, although I would think that the filmmakers would try to cast a leading Asian star in the role. Stan Lee’s Mandarin is one of the great Marvel villains if the 1960s. But he is clearly inspired by Fu Manchu, and it will be interesting to see how Favreau and company can revamp the Mandarin to keep him from seeming to be a racist stereotype. (To Stan Lee’s credit, I never got the sense reading his stories that he meant the Mandarin to represent the Chinese in general.) with China as a rising economic power, perhaps it makes sense to portray the Mandarin as a Chinese counterpart to Tony Stark as high tech entrepreneur.

Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow even visibly has Pepper’s freckles in some close-ups) and Happy Hogan (played by Favreau) come from Stan Lee’s Iron Man stories from the 1960s. Stark’s decision to stop making munitions reflects Mike Friedrich’s Iron Man run in the 1970s. James Rhodes comes from the David Michelinie/Bob Layton collaboration that began in the late 1970s. Editor Mark Gruenwald challenged Denny O’Neil to come up with an Iron Man villain who would rival O’Neil’s great Batman villain Ra’s al Ghul: the result was Obadiah Stane. (So O’Neil has co-created the main villains for both the Iron Man movie and Batman Begins.) Initially, Jeff Bridges’s portrayal of Stane as a glad-handing corporate master of spin doesn’t seem anything like O’Neil’s sinister, enigmatic figure, but in the film’s final half hour, Bridges’s Stane projects evil worthy of O’Neil’s character. I like the fact that the movie turns Stane into the business partner of Tony’s late father. This makes Stane into a symbol of the dark side of Tony’s father, a morally ambiguous figure who went into the munitions business. Initially Tony reveres his father’s memory in the movie, but he must turn against his business.

As in O’Neil’s storyline, the movie Stane dons his own armored battlesuit, becoming the Iron Monger. The movie’s Iron Monger is enormous, like a monstrous version if Iron Man himself, representing the dark side of Tony, had he remained a munitions merchant and acceded to Stane’s policy of selling arms to any buyers, including terrorists. After seeing the movie I realized that this enormous Iron Monger also reminded me of Iron Man’s Cold War nemesis, the equally gigantic Titanium Man, and their epic combats in the 1960s.

And then there’s Samuel L. Jackson’s surprise cameo as Nick Fury after the movie’s closing credits. Marvel had already been depicting the Fury of the alternate continuity of its Ultimate line as a Jackson lookalike. With all that has been written lately about the Jewish-American heritage of early superhero comics creators, and Mark Evanier’s observation in Kirby: King of Comics that Jack Kirby regarded Nick Fury as an idealized version of himself, casting Jackson as Fury seems to be missing a big point. On the other hand, if I had to choose between David Hasselhoff, who played Fury in a TV movie, and Samuel L. Jackson, well, of course I’ll pick Jackson!

CARTOON CENTENNIALS

I wound up the day by attending one of the “Monday Nights with Oscar” monthly screenings that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences holds at its theater at Lighthouse International on 59th Street in Manhattan. (Yes, this is the Academy that gives out the Oscars, and an enormous reproduction of an Oscar statuette looms in one corner of the theater.) This evening’s program was titled “Tex Avery, Michael Maltese: Putting Looney in the Toons: A Double Centennial Tribute.” Avery was the great animation director who pioneered the classic “Looney Tunes” style of comedy but who created his surreal, absurdist, even postmodern, and explosively funny animated masterpieces for MGM (see “Comics in Context” #100, 101 and 188). Animation writer Maltese worked on cartoons with Warners director Friz Freleng, and later in the early Hanna-Barbera TV cartoons, but reached his peak collaborating with director Chuck Jones in the 1940s and 1950s.

The Academy had already presented this program in Los Angeles, but for the New York screening it was hosted by animation historian and New York University Professor John Canemaker. (Apparently NYU students sign up for his classes!) In last years I’ve attended Canemaker’s lectures at the Museum of Modern Art, where he promotes one of his books and shows animation relating to it, including a program of Winsor McCay animation, Disney’s Peter Pan (1953), in which Walt Disney’s great animators known as the “Nine Old Men” all worked, and Disney’s Alice in Wonderland (1951), to illustrate Canemaker’s lecture on his book about the Disney conceptual artist Mary Blair. Canemaker always presents a well-spoken, informative lecture, and I keep meaning to mention them in my column; now I finally have. He’s also written a book about Tex Avery, hence his presence this evening.

But Canemaker also pointed out that 2008 was also the centennial year for Warners’ master voice artist Mel Blanc, and the program served as an admirable retrospective of his work as well.

I could quibble with the selection of cartoons. None of the Avery cartoons on the bill reached the manic energy and reality-warping heights of his Northwest Hounded Police (1946), King Size Canary (1947), or Bad Luck Blackie (1949). For dazzling dialogue and masterful gag construction, I would have picked one of the cartoons from Jones and Maltese’s Bugs Bunny-Daffy Duck-Elmer Fudd trilogy of Rabbit Fire (1951), Rabbit Seasoning (1952) and Duck! Rabbit! Duck! (1953).

But still, the selection we got was good enough, including Avery’s Porky’s Duck Hunt (1937), in which Blanc took over voicing Porky Pig and also played Daffy Duck in his debut cartoon.

The show also included Avery’s A Wild Hare (1940) in which the trickster rabbit from previous Warners cartoons finally became the Bugs Bunny we know, complete with a New York-accented voice provided by Blanc. It was wonderful to see this cartoon again and study how well constructed the gags were; even apart from Bugs’s debut, it demonstrated how far Avery had already come in defining and mastering animated cartoon comedy.

Avery’s sultry songstress Red and stoic Droopy turned up to good effect in Little Rural Riding Hood (1949) and the Western parody Drag-a-Long Droopy (1954).

Freleng’s You Ought to Be in Pictures (1940), combining animation with live action, was shown because Maltese turns up on screen vividly playing a nasty studio guard–with a voice dubbed by Blanc!

Sometimes I feel uneasy about Pepe le Pew cartoons, since they’re really about sexual harassment, but I like it when the female cat turns the tables on Pepe as she does at the end of Jones and Maltese’s For Scent-imental Reasons (1948) in this program, providing another showcase for Blanc, channeling and parodying Charles Boyer.

By showing both the Freleng-Maltese Back Alley Oproar (1948) and the incomparable Jones-Maltese What’s Opera, Doc? (1957), the program enabled us to compare examples of Maltese’s ability to turn not only opera but even death scenes to humorous effect, as well as demonstrated Mel Blanc’s talent at conveying comedy through song, whether as Bugs acting Brunnhilde or Sylvester imitating Spike Jones (see “Comics in Context” #101 and 102). Putting A Wild Hare and What’s Opera, Doc? on the same bill also makes clear that the latter is, in effect, Jones turning his mentor Avery’s cartoon into an opera!

The program came to a satisfying close with Avery and Maltese’s collaboration on The Legend of Rockabye Point (1955) for Walter Lantz’s studio (see “Comics in Context” #189).

And what a pleasure it is to see these classic cartoons on a big theatrical screen with a large, appreciative audience, as they were originally meant to be experienced!

So: in the morning, an exhibit honoring superhero comics at America’s leading art museum, in the afternoon a critically acclaimed commercial blockbuster if a superhero movie, and in the evening, the Motion Picture Academy honors giants of the Hollywood theatrical cartoon. It was a good day for cartoon art.

But then I got the bad news about my comics course at NYU, and I thought, perhaps the cultural status of comics still hasn’t changed as much as I’d like to believe. Yet later that same week, I was invited to be a keynote speaker at an academic conference on superheroes, to be held next year. (I’ll tell you more about it when they’re ready to make a public announcement.) And I was invited specifically on the basis of my work writing “Comics in Context.”

We’re not in the Bizarro World. No, the world is changing around us, faster than we could have imagined. Many of us who have long taken comics and cartoon art seriously have dreamed that someday the world would recognize the true value of our artforms. Our dreams are now becoming realities.

LINKS IN THE AMAZON CHAIN

The Metropolitan Museum’s illustrated catalogue Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy, written by curator Andrew Bolton, is available at Amazon. com here.

As for the books by John Canemaker I referred to, their titles are The Art and Flair of Mary Blair, Tex Avery: The MGM Years, 1942-1955, Walt Disney’s Nine Old Men and the Art of Animation, and Winsor McCay: His Life and Art.

And you can find The Marvel Vault, by Roy Thomas and myself, here, and my Marvel Comics Travel Guide to New York City here.

Copyright 2008 Peter Sanderson

Comics & Comics: I… Am… Iron Fan

Filed under: Comics and Comics — admin @ 4:33 am

COMics & Comics 31208- lOGO

Howdy Interwebbers. I’m Matt Cohen and I dig Iron Man again.

Growing up, comic books were a huge part of my life. From a very early age I can remember being obsessed with comics, particularly (let’s be honest”¦ exclusively) Marvel. And even that was a shortlist of books. Pretty much, my childhood consisted solely of Wolverine, Venom, Ghost Rider and Punisher. That was it. Spider-Man made fleeting appearances, as did Hulk, but for the most part I had stuck to those four characters. What can I say; I was a brooding little kid. So yes, I was emo before emo was emo. My comic book reading consisted of dark and dangerous characters, all anti-heroes, and all pretty much insane. That is what my comic world was made up of. Except that is, for one man.

Tony Stark.

I don’t know what it was about the character that first drew me in, but Iron Man was the only “Straight-forward” hero book I read, and I loved it. The suits, the baddies, the attitude; I was hooked the moment I discovered old Shell-Head. Iron Man was never popular with my group of friends, most of them sticking to X titles only (This was the early nineties, after all) and for the life of me I can’t remember what first got me reading Iron Man. I know that my mom of all people was a fan of the character when she was a kid, so that may have steered me a bit, or possibly she bought me unsolicited Iron books that I read without choosing.

Regardless, I was an Iron Man fan: And a big one. I remember doodling designs for new suits in my schoolbooks, meticulously bagging and boarding Iron Man comics. It was a big part of my childhood. And then, at about age 12, I stopped reading comic books. Full out. One day I put them down and didn’t pick them up again for about five years. I don’t know if it was me attempting to “grow up”, or if newer hobbies took precedent in my mind, but I had stopped reading and collecting comic books completely. The characters I once knew and loved pretty much fell off of my radar. Sure, I’d read the occasional book when it was around me, but I stopped going out of my way to follow the stories that I had once obsessed over so much. I was suddenly more interested in hanging out with friends and getting into typical teenage “trouble” then I was reading the ongoing adventures of caped superheroes (What had happened to me?).

Jump to a few years later, some mellowing out time, and a now seventeen year old me. I was in my senior year of High School on suburban Long Island. My “fan” tastes had shifted from all things comic and “geek” related to all things in the comedy genre. Long story short, I saw the Hellboy T-shirt in Dogma, went out and bought a Hellboy comic and things sort of just developed from there. Within about three months I was reading 30 plus titles a week, ranging from indies to Super books. I began revisiting childhood favorites that had long lapsed from my memory. And yet one thing had changed. In those years in between my comic reading, one of my favorite characters had strayed to the dark side. And not necessarily to the side of evil – rather to becoming someone I had zero interest in reading about. That man, friends and neighbors, was Tony Stark.

I don’t know what it was that had changed so much about the character to immediately make me dislike him upon my return to the comic fold, but I can guess at some reasons. The smugness that I loved so much when I was young seemed to be gone. This new Tony, and by association, Iron Man, was pretty boring and conventional. Apparently, when Tony battled his demons and shed his vices, he also shed all character traits that I once found endearing. His quirky “Playboy” behavior that once drew me to the book was now gone without a trace. In the fast paced world of X books and mature Crisis titles, Iron Man was now veering into Captain America territory, a once great character that unfortunately had become stale over the decades (or decade, in my case). And with as many books as I read its hard to avoid a characters as prominent as Tony, especially in the company wide events which I rarely ever miss. In recent years, the Tony I had once idolized had now very much become the “Enemy” in my eyes (Due in a large part to his role in the Super-Hero Registration act, seen in the series Civil War).

My newly found dislike of Tony bled into all parts of my comic reading behavior. I stopped buying all Iron Man titles full stop. I cringed whenever I would see the character in another title. Tony had gone from being one of my favorites to my absolute least favorite characters in comic books. And that upset me, having to betray my childhood memories, but I really did not like the character anymore. That is, until, some genius somewhere decided to make an Iron Man film. With that simple act, my interest in all things Iron Man was quickly reignited. It wasn’t a blind “faith” sort of situation either. The teaser trailer for the film was so great in my opinion, that it really made me do some heavy thinking about my history with the character. It reminded me “Hey, you used to really enjoy Iron Man, and look, an Iron Man movie that looks pretty damn good!” Something about that forty odd second trailer not only made me excited for the Iron Man film, but it lead me to do some thinking about what the character really meant to me. This was a few months before the film’s release, so I had some time to really take a look at where the character has come from and where he is now. And I realized something.

I still liked Iron Man.

Yes, the character had become somewhat of an “a-hole” in recent years, but should that cancel out all the years of entertainment he’d provided for me before? I started seeing Tony different in the comics I read each week, really trying to understand his motivations as opposed to instantly disliking him. I reread the Civil War series and the books leading up to it to try and take a fresh view on Tony actions and more so, reactions to the events that unfurled. I found myself empathizing with Tony, feeling genuine remorse and pity as to what he’s unfortunately been forced to become. I no longer had him on the top of the Enemy list in the M-U, rather I saw him as a misguided but well-intentioned man that had fallen from grace. Then the movie came out, and as I stated in a previous column, completely reignited my passion for all things Iron.

Robert Downey Jr. is the walking manifestation of silver age Tony Stark, and just seeing that brash, fun and funny powerhouse again brought an ear to ear smile to my face. It also made me realize that when a character in comic books changes over the years it is a positive, avoiding the curse of stagnation. And though I found Iron Man boring until recently, It wasn’t due to the writing – rather, it was, but not because the writing was boring. The character became too straight-laced and “goody goody” for my liking, and until recently I think THAT was the aspect of the books that I shied away from. I am glad to once again be excited for all things Tony Stark related. The film franchise promises to be a great one. In the comic universe, Tony is edging closer and closer to the man we all knew and loved not so long ago. I will definitely be picking up the next Iron Man series and will most likely enjoy it whole-heartedly. It is a great time to be an Iron Man fan, and I am happy to be back on Shell-Heads bandwagon.

Tis all for now kiddos, but check back next week for some DVD reviews including the hilarious TV Funhouse Complete Series. It’ll be fun. You know it will.

And, as always,”Keep em’ bagged and boarded”

Matt Cohen forgot to write something for his sign-off.

Win GRACE IS GONE on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:26 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Fox Home Entertainment, two (1) copies of GRACE IS GONE on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, May 27th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, May 27th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

May 20, 2008

Masters Of Song Fu #1: Round 1 Challenge

Filed under: Masters Of Song Fu — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:38 pm

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CLICK HERE TO VOTE ON ROUND 1

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we’ve launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

A few weeks back, we sent out the call for challengers. Hundreds of you heard the call and fought for a chance to be in the initial group. 20 were selected. Only 19 responded in time. Them’s the breaks.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these challengers will now be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

After one week of intense campaigning and voting, we’ll eliminate the bottom 14 vote-getters – leaving 5 competitors to move on to… ROUND 2.

That’s when things get crazy… But we’ll save the surprise til then.

What do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

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To mix things up a bit, we also announced three (well, 4, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against in this inaugural edition of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers:

JONATHAN COULTON

songfu-01.jpgJonathan Coulton on Jonathan Coulton: “In 2005 I left my day job writing software to pursue music full time. To keep myself busy I released a new song on this website every week for a year in a project called Thing a Week. A few of those songs became big internet hits (my folky cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, a funny video called “Flickr”, a song called “Code Monkey”), and I am now fortunate enough to make my living as a musician.

I write about a lot of geeky stuff because I am a geek. Some of it’s funny, but a lot of it’s not so funny, and even more of it is somewhere in between. I’ve been compared to They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Loudon Wainwright III, and other musicians you REALLY LOVE.

I give lots of music away because I believe it helps my cause, and I love it when people use my music to create other stuff – music videos, pictures, remixes, etc. At the moment I’m unsigned, and I’m proud to say I’ve created this whole thing mostly on my own (with plenty of help from an amazingly supportive bunch of fans). But it certainly is getting busy… I will probably sell out and go Hollywood any day now…”

Official Website: www.jonathancoulton.com

PAUL & STORM

songfu-02.jpg Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com

DOC HAMMER

songfu-03.jpg Doc Hammer was born in 1626 in Hamar, Norway, under the name Erik VonHamer. Being the son of a humble cobbler, not much was expected of the young man, other than to cobble and to not complain about all the cobbling. But Doc was destined for greater things. At 17, with nothing more than really well made shoes and a dream, he made his way to Antwerp to study oil painting under the great Rubens. Within a year, the two were at odds. Rubens spoke (infrequently) of Doc as “that creepy skinny kid,” and Doc spoke of Rubens’s work as “kinda unattractive if you really look at it.” By 1648, Doc had relocated to Leiden, where he found his master in Rembrandt. It was there, in his 23rd year, that Doc met “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth.” After a spicy courtship, “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth” and Doc were married. By 1650 Doc had grown weary of immortality and committed an unsuccessful suicide by burying his never-corpse in the basement of a Dutch cottage. In 1870, Doc again resurfaced. Using the name Vilhelm Hammershoi, Doc resumed his painting career with mild success. After thanking his bride for “the immortality thing” and nicely reminding her that he had “heard every one of her stories like a billion times,” “She Who Was To Deliver The Kiss Of Eternal Youth” and Doc split up in 1916. Again, Doc literally went underground until, now using the name Armond Hammer, he resurfaced and made a whole mess of money selling overpriced meds to the Russians. Sick of all the baking soda jokes, Doc faked his death. Biding his time till the MC Hammer thing had blown over, Doc again resurfaced as “Doc Hammer.” Today, Doc still paints in oils and writes, voices, and does other crap for The Venture Bros. (a show you can watch on cable TV).

Official Website: www.myspace.com/dochammer

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In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

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TEARDROP

songfucomp-01.jpgTeardrop consists of just two members, brothers Jono Renton and Pete Renton. Brought up on the sounds of Saturday morning television in the 90’s they seek to write music that is evocative of both the past and looking forward. Both members use different skills to create their unique sound, often associated with such acts as The Album Leaf, Boards Of Canada, Aphex Twin and other IDM artists. Jono provides the guitars, while Pete provides the synths and drums.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/teardropuk

THE MATT LEES BAND

songfucomp-02.jpgMatt Lees was born and raised in sheep-lovin’ Wales. At 12-years-old his family decided to move to everything lovin’ Canada and start a new life. Not an easy feat for any person, let alone a less-than-manly pre-teen. Eager to fit in with the Canuck teens he threw himself into the arts. He began an obsessive love affair with music. Writing and singing to express his emotions, he needed to learn an instrument to complete his sound. In the beginning he learned piano but, being lazy, he didn’t want to lug a piano everywhere. Guitar seemed like the easiest choice… plus, chicks dig guitar players. Ego in hand, he now fronts a self-titled band. The MLB fuses a pop-rock sound with a modern blues feel. Playing mainly in Ontario, Canada, Matt has also shared his music with audiences in Europe – even the French! Matt loves long walks on the beach, puppies, sharing his feelings and the smell of dew in the morning. He is currently ‘sticking it to the man’ in the real world while preparing to record and release his debut album (aka scrounging funds and searching for a cheaper studio).

Official Website: myspace.com/mattlees

PAUL FRUMPTON EXPERIENCE FEATURING LARRY

songfucomp-03.jpgBorn in the fall of 2006 in the center of the two-man acoustic comedy rock scene, Columbus, Ohio, the self proclaimed Turner and Hooch of Rock and Roll, The Paul Frumpton Experience Featuring Larry – known more colloquially as Jeff Stormer and Jeremy Hoover – are best described as what happens when comedy, music, caffeine, and improv collide in a chocolaty, peanut buttery explosion of good times. Stormer and Hoover met as students of Ohio State University and have been performing for scraps of food and hobo nickels ever since. Jeremy and Jeff’s major influences include Bacon, Booster Gold & Blue Beetle’s irreverent banter, David Bowie’s crotch in Labyrinth, and a deep-seated love of go karts. Finally, we feel obliged to mention all the things that are off limits to the comedy duo… This list includes NOTHING.

Official Website: myspace.com/thepaulfrumtonexperiencefeaturinglarry

LEX FRIEDMAN

songfucomp-04.jpgLex Friedman’s musical influences include artists like They Might Be Giants, Moxy Fruvous, “Weird Al” Yankovic, CAKE, Barenaked Ladies, Tom Lehrer, Ben Folds, and Michael Jackson. Lex has left a smattering of bizarre music videos on YouTube, which have been slowly overtaken by videos of his 18-month-old daughter Anya. He occasionally shares new songs on his blog. He currently appears both weekly and weakly as the host of the “Week in Douchebaggery” on Cracked.com. Lex, his aforementioned daughter Anya, his lovely wife Lauren, and his diabetic maltese Charlie all live together in New Jersey, and sincerely hope that you don’t hold that against them. He gives one of them two injections if insulin each day – guess which! Lex also wrote this sentence. To avoid appearing like a suck-up, Lex has neglected to mention other musical influences of his who may or may not be the Iron Chefs of this Song Fu competition. Let’s just say he happens to also love the musical stylings of a guy whose name rhymes with Shmonathan Shmoulton.

Official Website: www.thefriedmans.net/blog

IN THE AUDIENCE

songfucomp-05.jpgIn the Audience is the newest musical outlet for singer/guitarist Jordan Stowell. At age 18, Jordan has just released his debut EP online and in select independent record stores in the northeast United States. The music has been compared to popular acts like Goo Goo Dolls and Guster as well as smaller acts like Anathallo and The Format. The music of In the Audience would likely fall under the genre of “Indie Pop.” Although likely not making an appearance due to time constraints, the band also includes guitarist Steve Janick. The band mixes calming acoustic guitars and violins, with loud percussion and the occasional keyboard or hand clap. New to the music game, In the Audience is already preparing summer tour dates in select regions of the United States and Canada.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/intheaudience

SARCASM

songfucomp-06.jpgI picked up the guitar 20 some years ago and still don’t know one scale or the names of most of the chords. After a year of playing I formed a band called The Narrow Way. We wrote such classics as “Polka Hell” and “The Shades of Limbo”. After refining my chops, I then formed a band called Mechanized Death, which was named after that infamous car accident safety movie from the 70’s. We wrote such inspired classics as “Roadkill”, “Tunafish” and “I Don’t Care”. After Mechanized Death, I went solo and now have written hundreds of songs… I even sold one to a morning radio talk show (ahhh… the fame). Lately, I won song of the day at Garageband.com…So I guess my star is still rising.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/sarcasmtheband

THE FLYING DeLOREANS

songfucomp-07.jpgHello there! We’re John and Jane DeLorean, and together we are the FLYING DELOREANS. We used to be husband and wife, but after a brief creative hiatus we got a divorce and now are just brother and sister. We have many, many influences, but mainly just really enjoy playing music. Our main instruments are piano and ukulele and guitar and we’re basically the loveable underdog. Well, see ya.

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Official Website: myspace.com/theflyingdeloreans

BEN & PETE

songfucomp-08.jpgBen Rossow is seeking to inflict upon the world his unique brand of acoustic pop/punk/folk music. Hailing from Mora, Minnesota, this northern songsmith and his collaborator, Pete Morgan, have recorded and performed under the name “Ben & Pete.” Ben plays acoustic guitar and makes noise with his mouth, while Pete generally attracts songbirds with his delightful vocal stylings, and sometimes adds keyboard effects to distract potential enemies. Influences range from Bob Dylan to Weezer, Cheap Trick to The White Stripes.

Official Website: We don’t have one!

CLOAKIE

songfucomp-09.jpgMy Fu is stronger than you! I am Coleman Bear Saunders, or Cloakie to most. At the age of 25 I work with music everyday at my studio that I recently built. I produce, engineer and compose various genres of music with ninja like precision. I have been picking away at the guitar since the age of 7 after watching my Dad play Johnny Cash tunes in the wrong key while singing the wrong lyrics, although I do the same thing because that’s the way I was learnt, ya hear me boy? I live in Kentucky and the music scene isn’t the greatest, so I turn to the internet to pipeline my Fu to the masses for free. I’m getting tired of music these days, I want some more songs about Dragons and fucking! Songs that take you on a journey and let you experience a different world, like movies do. My dream is to compose and score music for video games, TV, and my ultimate goal, the big screen. This is why the Song Fu competition was made for me. All the challenges that the competition presents to me will be similar to the expectations of future employers. Good luck to all, and may the best Fu win.

Official Website: myspace.com/colemansaunders

ELAINE CHAO FINNELL

songfucomp-10.jpgElaine Chao Finnell is a singer/songwriter from the San Francisco Bay Area. In her checkered musical past, she has been a choral singer, a pit musician, an a cappella vocalist, a vocal percussionist, a hip hop beatboxer, contemporary Christian worship musician, and a musical librettist. After leaving the a cappella world in 2001, Elaine shifted into the world of hip hop theater, touring with spoken word artist Aya de León, then going solo and performing in such venues as the Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco and at the Apollo Theater in New York City. She began writing music at the tender age of 17, co-authoring her first musical with Brian Allan Hobbs. Since then, she has written two full length musicals and two plays. She currently plays regularly at her church as a lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist. While not in her musical pursuits, Elaine can be found in a cubicle at a major software company, at home with her engineer husband and their network of Macs, or studying martial arts at a local university.

Official Website: www.gotspit.com

AIRPLANE VS. AMBULANCE

songfucomp-11.jpgAirplane vs. Ambulance are a four-piece synth-punk band from Abbotsford, BC. The band’s sound has been described as a blend of pop hooks and indie sensibility, and the’ve crafted their own unique take on modern rock.

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Official Website: www.myspace.com/airplanevsambulance

EAST CAROLINA

songfucomp-12.jpgEast Carolina was formed in 2006 when friends Aaron (vocals, keyboards, accordion, etc) and Stuart (electric guitar, bass, keyboards, etc.) realized that, though often praised individually for their musical prowess, together they would be a virtually less-stoppable musical force. Combining in their music elements of alternative and classic rock, comedy, jazz, hilarious banter, polka, and more, East Carolina creates music that is unique, pleasurable, and often unclassifiable. Their original songs range in topic from Spanish love gone wrong to social anxiety to properties of gasses, and beyond. East Carolina is thrilled to be participating in the Masters of Song Fu competition and looks forward to sharing their songs with all of you.

Official Website: www.worldofarcana.com

TO SERVE MANKIND

songfucomp-13.jpgTo Serve Mankind seeks to do just that, via music that makes you think about the world and your place in it differently. Friends since high school, the duo, likened to They Might Be Giants or Barenaked Ladies, have played back yards to front yards and everywhere in between. It seemed like just yesterday To Serve Mankind had absolutely no future, and look at them now, competing in Song Fu against artists such as Paul and Storm and, uh, the Jonathan Coulton. Jeff Little and Bryan Ewing both grew up in Apple Valley, CA, an environment which demands creativity just to stay sane among Joshua trees, dirt, and the Wal*Mart. With a combined vocal range of at least a perfect 5th, To Serve Mankind is ready to take the world… aeriously. Bryan is into Rock, Jeff digs on Funk. Both serve as worship leaders at their respective churches and are married… not to each other… but to one woman each – Bryan to Michelle, Jeff to Jen. Bryan has a son named Malachi, and Jeff is expecting his wife to follow through on this pregnancy thing and produce a daughter, Jane. Jeff, Bryan (and Malachi) love Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Official Website: www.toservemankind.com

GERM

songfucomp-14.jpgHello. I am Jeremy Edgington. Call me germ. I live in Springfield, Ohio and I was born here in 1972. I started playing guitar at about 13. I took it seriously only off and on. I love to play. I hate to practice. I just jam. I got began enjoying “deeply listening” to music at a really young age. I was into Kiss when I was in Kindergarten and first grade. I had all of their albums. Second grade came along and out with Kiss, in with Def Lepard! Then came Van Halen and so on. I have a nice recording studio. Buckethead is a huge influence on me. I play bass and guitar. I do drum programming. I also program background ambience. I use the guitar for just ambient noises in songs, too. I will someday release a CD. Maybe…

Official Website: myspace.com/tikisamurai

RELIC’S JETBOAT

songfucomp-15.jpgRelic’s Jetboat are a modern folk band – this isn’t about acoustic guitars in the coffee shop, it’s songs about modern folk and the events or stories around us. They bring a party band attitude to their songs about Garage Sailin’, Gordon Downie, Ogopogo and The Beachcombers. The songs cross genres as they represent the music that we hear these days. From country to reggae, punk, celtic and rock, the band has been described as “The Barenaked Ladies with an edge”, or this review of the band: “These guys could get a job doing Muppet Music. From Canada, they perform their individual style with ease and an abundance of satire. They take us back to a time of musical innocence when people got off on groups like the Beach Boys.”

Official Website: www.relicsjetboat.com

JEFF MacDOUGALL

songfucomp-16.jpgThe Deal: After 20+ years making music as a hobby, I recently wrote and recorded a song for my daughter. I got a little taste of mild success (hey, my mom liked it). So now I’m taking my music out of the closet, dusting it off, and seeing how it does in the sunshine. Who knew there was so much work in just attempting to do music for a living. I feel like I am opening a Subway franchise (Only opening a Subway franchise seems more fulfilling in a creative way).

Official Website: jeffmacdougall.com

SHANNON MILLER

songfucomp-17.jpgShannon is a woman of keen intellect and she is a little cuter than average, but not photogenic, so her picture will not necessarily reflect her attractiveness. She likes to ride vintage bicycles that clunk and whistle so that people in the city know she’s approaching and take notice. When she’s not working her ass off at her corporate job that pays huge cash, she likes to belittle her husband (sorry, fellows, she’s married) and re-arrange her coaster collection. She wants to make it big in Song Fu so that she can finally have an excuse to quit her career and bask in the adoration of her fans. At this time, she only has two fans (three, if you include the kid in the street that sometimes rides by on his scooter and stops for a minute when he hears her playing the guitar in the back yard, or maybe he’s looking at her dog in the window; she’s not sure).

Official Website: We don’t have one

BROADBAND FIASCO

songfucomp-18.jpgI trained as a film critic at Glasgow University, then as an actor at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama and then worked in a call centre for three years. Figures. Fed up with offering people death insurance, I taught myself how to edit film and got a job in a Glaswegian production company editing fishing programmes. When the allure of that finally wore off I went freelance for a while before setting up my own company, TheCage.TV Ltd. All through this time I’ve been writing songs to play live and record, in the olden days on MiniDisc and four-tracks and nowadays on Garageband. Currently I’m the only member of the band so it’s essentially solo work, though in theory anyone can contribute.

Official Website: myspace.com/broadbandfiasco

RUN AT THE DOG

songfucomp-19.jpgRun At The Dog are high energy, rock/pop, category-sluts with multi-gendered vocals and intricate arrangements. They are like Abba meets Faith No More meets Mos Def meets the Mormon Tabernacle Choir meets Steely Dan. The songs of this Minneapolis 5-piece are always written right away, with no respect for the calculating mind. Audience members are unsure whether to dance, laugh, or panic.

Official Website: myspace.com/runatthedog

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

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You must do a song in the style of a classic television show. Not only that, but this song is the theme for a fictional television show about yourself (or your band). By “classic television show” theme song, we mean the type of themes found in shows from the 1960’s – 1980’s (ie Gilligan’s Island, Cheers, The Fall Guy, Diff’rent Strokes, Welcome Back Kotter, Greatest American Hero, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, The Facts Of Life, Green Acres, Gimme A Break, The Monkees, etc.). Your theme song must include both lyrics and music. It must run no shorter than 30 seconds, and no longer than one (1) minute. Your theme song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008.

Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008.

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY, designed and handcrafted by [adult swim] superstar Dana Snyder. Yes. Dana Snyder.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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Opinion In A Haystack: Summer Movies, Bitter Fossils, and Self Reflection

Filed under: Opinion In A Haystack — admin @ 4:55 am

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As I sit here at my PC, stomach gurgling, churning, and no doubt brewing up some more lovely diarrhea. (Yes, I’m sick, and no that is not too much information.) I have a far more serious ailment then that which troubles my gut. The summer movie season is upon us, hovering over our backs and pounding our soon-to-be raw and torn consumer anuses, and honestly, I am at a loss. I find that with the passing of each mega-billion-dollar-budget film of every summer I sink just a bit farther down in my understanding of the importance, future, audience, and criticism of cinema. Am I, still having yet to have reached thirty years of age, a fossil? Does the bitter, brewed sentiment that flows out of my lips after sitting through ninety minutes of tepid CGI have any place in a world where films like Taxi Driver, True Romance, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, The Thing, and Robocop are considered dated, slow, and forgotten by the majority? And in contradiction to those questions…are my views and opinions nothing more then a molecule in the fingernail of the giant that is the new-found, un-credentialed, shallow, “thumbs up, thumbs down,” and ultimately useless blogosphere of film criticism that has engulfed an important but lost journalistic art? I will admit that I am probably the only one, if not one of the few, who has had such rousing and troubling questions pop into his head DURING a screening of Speed Racer.

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In the past few weeks I have, much like the rest of the planet, seen both Iron Man and Speed Racer. Sitting through Iron Man a second time, after having read a large assortment of positive online reviews and those contained within magazines and newspapers caused me to boil over with anger. This contradicted logic for I agreed (for the most part) that the movie was “pretty good.” Nothing classic, (we don’t make classics anymore these days,) nor forgettable. I then proceeded to write the following…a meandering angered mess for which I wouldn’t insult any reader by putting in the actual “meat” of the column, but still deem worthy enough for others to read, if only to see if you empathize with my often irrational bout of embitterment. Please note how I refer to my metaphorical “gullet” being “sick,” only to be surprised a few days later with the medical equivalent I mentioned above. Here it is…

Jon Favreau’s Iron Man is finally here. The critical acclaim is soaring (94% on Rotten Tomatoes as I type), the profits are rising (no competition except clichéd slop), and the fan buzz is beaming with squeals of geek-gasmic fortitude. I’ve already viewed it twice and I don’t plan on reviewing it here. Why? It’s too expected, too simple, and just too damn painful. I don’t want to be counted among the mass of those fans and critics (including the reputable ones) alike whom I’ve read these past few days who seem to either be sixteen-years-old or mentally stunted and have forgotten that movies existed before CGI. Have you read these reviews? Yes…they are all positive and deservedly so, but the sickening in my blubbery gullet comes from the horrendous comparisons to other superhero movies.

Iron Man, with its edge-of-your-seat action and skilled male lead, most certainly gives the Spidey franchise a run for its money.”

“One of the best superhero movies EVER!!! Right up there with X2 and Batman Begins!”

“Not since the first classic Spiderman flick has a comic book movie been so amazing…80,000 STARS!!! INSTANT CLASSIC!!!”

“I would sell my own child to see it again! Better then Ghostrider!”

Those quotes were fabricated by me; still they fully represent what I have been reading. My beef isn’t with the opinions either. I thought the movie was, considering Favreau’s involvement, definitely “money.” The dilemma I face is, I’ll admit, probably more due to my bitter nature. However, excuse me, but did you just say that the greatest superhero movies ever were all somehow contained within the last 10 years? Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think!

It seems as though critics, even the elders, are somehow giving in to the youthful, pre-conceived notion that modern special effects are now ultimately integral to define quality within film, especially in comic book cinema. I am going to assume that we’re just throwing all movies before the dawn of the computer under the bus. Superman: The Movie, a timeless, American classic, gets completely pushed aside for the likes of Spiderman? Excuse me for thinking that comparisons of greatness shouldn’t be made toward a movie featuring a Macy Gray cameo and a torturous Julia Roberts underpants joke…but hey, at least it has whiz bang special effects handed down from the gods of the computer chip. See, that’s what makes it better!

Sarcasm. Anyway, I’m not saying that COMPUTER GENERATED IMAGES are bad, or that new superhero movies are bad. What I am saying is that perhaps we should really start to worry about the serious deficiency of scope in current criticism and the foundations on which we are “criticizing.” When the upper echelon (which believe me, I am NOT AT ALL counting myself a part of) of film critics start to “forget” the cinematic support beams of the past 80 years, something needs to wake us up again. 80 years…not 50…not 20…most certainly not 10…80 years and more of this art that we all collectively love and discuss and believe in. Yet, somehow, all Iron Man’s exquisitely formulaic and massively entertaining structure burrows up for comparison is recent CG laden, product placement shit fests of the last decade. This is what we are comparing greatness too now? This is how far we’ve fallen?

It’s almost as if “older” movies are dismissed, not out of hatred or malice, but out of a mental fog that is clogging us all up and making us forget that true quality is not about how good the FX look, or how much the action-to-dialogue ratio is, but how much love and admiration was poured into a film, and what the ravages of time and re-watch value will do to it. Iron Man is a good movie, and it would still be good if you took away half the budget. The characters were funny and real, Tony Stark was perfectly played, and the writing was sufficient for a well-balanced comic book sensibility. Sure, the suit was amazing, the action was kick-ass, and the lumbering fight with the Iron Monger was ok, but much like Richard Donner’s genre-defining Superman, Tim Burton’s beautifully unreal Batman, or Paul Verhoven’s masterpiece, Robocop, it’s the craftsmanship, social importance, satire, and the intentions behind the fourth wall that make it succeed as a film. Not the mind-blowing CGI.

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So, it turned into a review after all. I realize that my message of “special effects don’t make a film” is really old and overdone, but if things keep getting worse…why not keep saying it until it sticks? Plus, I have a feeling that the very “critics/fans” I am trying (however unsuccessfully) to address with this muddled message are the same people who will bitch and moan about how the action in the new Indy movie isn’t as “eye-popping” or on the edge as they figured it would be. They, of course, would be forgetting that Indy was never about Matrix-style craptastic action, and of course will not acknowledge that Spielberg INTENTIONALLY made the new film EXACTLY like the other three. I can hear all the complaining now. Ignorant, youthful cries of how Iron Man’s action put Indy’s to shame. Loud yelping spears of sound impaling my ear drums and repeating the unknowledgeable and ill-conceived notions that their .000001 Pico-second attention spans, when not being entertained by their cell phones, found Indy 4 to be underwhelming and not as “quality” as…say…pig snot like Transformers. I really hope Spielberg bludgeons you in the face with his talented directing dick you fucking unappreciative little….

Whoa! Gotta cool down.

I was pretty bitter, and admittedly, a little off base. After reading it again I realized that I had no point other then “HEY MOVIES AREN’T MOVIES ANY MORE, THEY ARE THINGS, JUST HOLLOW THINGS!” I planned to scrap it completely, in fact I wasn’t even clear about my intentions for writing it, and then, I of course saw Speed Racer.

Sinking to the level of reviewing Speed Racer is not something I mentally or physically feel up to right now. I will say that, with the exception of John Goodman fighting a ninja, I loathed everything about it. I’m not going to go into why, for this column it’s irrelevant. All Speed Racer did for me was become a catalyst for realizing that the beautiful, thought-provoking world of main-stream cinema (not talking about foreign or independent here) is NOW, more so then it ever has been, singing the last, muted notes of its swan song.

Film is, actual film, going to be slain by digital. Sets will be fully replaced by green screens. Socio-political and existential satire completely replaced by seizure inducing piles of computerized excrement that have only form and not function. Cinema being important is about to die. Nothing new I know, but it scares me. Yet all I read on message boards is that “Films are made to be enjoyed, not taken seriously for any reason…” Excuse me, but while I do believe in the entertainments, I also have a foot firmly planted on the belief that there are films that have changed the world, changed lives, and truly mean something to humanity. Reducing film to an “enjoyable” yet “exposable” form of expression is sad, and yet that statement is BEYOND rampant all over the realm of criticism and fan reaction. One would hope we don’t also say the same about music, literature, and journalism…which we probably do, sadly. However, I am not familiar with it.

Reading this far you probably realize that I am an old codger. However I am not against all things soon to come, if you notice I am plenty excited for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. There are two reasons for such: The first being that Dr. Jones is my favorite fictional character of all time (sometimes trading places with Doc Brown depending on my mood.) The second reason stemming from everything I’ve read Spielberg say about the movie. He’s using little to no CGI, he’s actually using real sets (in the face of advice from pal George Lucas), he instructed the cinematographer to make the film look as though it were made twenty years ago, and he even guaranteed no hyper-edited action sequences that have now become staples of the theater. Steven Spielberg, in a non-Indy related statement, admits he will still be shooting on real film stock long after all other director’s have abandoned it. Mainly because, and I couldn’t agree more, film has a living texture to it, something digital is sorely lacking in its lifeless universe of hallow pixels. Yes I am sucking his cock…you know why…because as an uber-Indiana Jones fan and an uber-film fan…Spielberg is sucking mine. Sure, he makes mistake, yet he seems to be the only mainstream filmmaker that is this adamantly outspoken about real film and it’s preservation. Hate him or love him, The Beard is romantically involved with the beautiful tradition of movies and that is why I retain his work, early to now, still has more merit then even some of the smaller guys that also romantically get down with movies. If you took away his huge budgets you wouldn’t take away his knack for putting something meaningful or just plain fucking great on the screen.

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Straying too far away from my main point is not something I want to do, however this “stream of consciousness” induced by Speed Racer‘s disgusting display of cinema’s death is a lot to chew. The warning needs to be put out. We are about to fall off the cliff. Last summer we stood at its edge, the summer prior we saw it on the horizon, now I’m afraid we are goofily balancing on the tip with our arms flailing and the updraft from the cliff face cooling our belly button. I am certainly not the first to ask, but whose fault is it? The moviemakers or the goers? The critics or the bloggers? Father Time or Satan? It is rhetorical, at least for me, because ultimately I don’t know. I just know it really, truly, more then ever, needs to be asked.

Toy Box: Have you got TopSpots?

Filed under: Toy Box — admin @ 4:47 am

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Today is not about toys, or busts, or statues, or games, or action figures…but rather a new widget that I think is so cool I wanted to bring it to your attention. If you’re a blogger or website owner, you just might think this is pretty damn cool too.

It’s called TopSpots. It has been developed by a company called ScratchBack, which is a name that makes a lot more sense than TopSpots once you find out what it is.

The simplest explanation is that it’s a fancy tip jar. For years, it’s been possible for readers of your content to give you a ‘donation’ through Paypal, but the term ‘donation’ is a bit of a misnomer, since it isn’t a tax deductible sort of thing. So instead, websites and bloggers started to refer to it as ‘tipping’, a way for a reader to throw a little cash your way for your great work.

Most tip jars are just a graphic that leads you into the usual donation page on Paypal. And while this works pretty well for many sites, the ScratchBack folks took it one step further. It’s still a tip jar, but now the tippers get something in return – a text link to whatever site or blog they’d like! When a tipper pays you the tip (an amount set by you), their requested link goes to the top of your TopSpots list, bumping each of the previous tippers down one.

Even if your readers don’t have a blog or website of their own to link to, there’s all kinds of possibilities. Perhaps a link to their favorite charity, local school, a retailer they’ve been happy with, or their favorite YouTube video – the possibilities are endless.

You can set up the widget to have several different number of TopSpots or links in the list on your page. You also have options such as allowing the links to show up immediately on your page when the tipper sends you the money, or having the option of reviewing and approving the link manually first. And you can set how the links get bumped down – is it immediately, or do the links remaing for some set period of time before the next link can push them down? That’s up to you as the blogger or website owner!

Isn’t this just a form of advertising? Well, yes and no. It’s technically not advertising because there is no guarantee on your part on how long the link will be on your site, or even if it will appear. The tipper should be sending you the money because they really do appreciate your work and the value your content provides. The link is merely something extra, something you’re giving the tipper to as a thank you. They have to tip you before you even can review the link they are sending, and you have the right to refuse to show any links you find offensive or inappropriate. You’re in complete control.

I’ve implemented this feature over at my own site, Michael’s Review of the Week. You can see the TopSpots list on the bottom left of the main page. I’ve gotten nothing but positive feedback so far from my readers, and there have been some really useful links for not just pop culture stuff, but some other areas that I thought were just damn cool.

All is not perfect yet, and I do hope that future development will allow for owners to have more control over the look and feel of the widget itself. Right now, you can choose from a dozen or so different looks, but these are all very similar, and your own style sheet may override theirs, requiring you to make some additional changes on your side. I’ve also found that you do have to spend some time explaining what it is to folks, because it hasn’t yet become widely recognized. Once it gets out a bit to more sites, I suspect that the number of folks tipping will also increase substantially.

If you’re a blogger or web site owner looking for a new way to involve your readers in supporting your work, I highly recommend checking this widget out. In my professional life, I see tons of new ideas come and go, and it’s rare that I see one like this that really pops out. And it further proves that there’s always a better mousetrap!

May 19, 2008

TV Or Not TV: 5/19 – 5/25

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — admin @ 4:54 am

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I’m not sure if I am supposed to be surprised or angry about this week. Last week’s episode of LOST was so good that I’m just chomping at the bit for more, but we don’t get that until next week. The season finale of Medium was filled with lots of twists and turns but still had a very happy ending. Heck, I even enjoyed Desperate Housewives. Still, after all this, I just feel half empty because of the truncated seasons we were handed due to the WGA strike (I know, I should just be happy we had more episodes).

Since I have been belly aching for the past few weeks about Reaper I suppose I should bring the entire thing full circle and mention that the show has in fact been renewed for another season. Another reason why I’m not sure if I should be happy or angry is because it has only been given a 13 episode pick up as a mid-season replacement next season.

There’s really not much else to say. Just about every show that is new this week is wrapping up their season this week as well. If you want real entertainment than be sure to check out this column next week when I’m struggling through the dregs of what is on to try to actually find something to write about. It should be a real hoot.

Now, let’s get to it.

MONDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: It’s all Gormogon all the time on Bones! I am going to be bummed if they actually catch Gormogon this finale because I just love typing the name.

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: American Gladiators is back, and it is police officer vs. police officer.

CBS ““ 8:30 PM: On the season finale of How I Met Your Mother Ted gets hit by a car and ponders his life and his current relationship. Will we finally see who owned the yellow umbrella at the beginning of this season? Doubtful.

TUESDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: It’s David vs. David tonight on American Idol. Is there really any point in watching or voting? Solid money on Cook for the win.

CW ““ 9:00 PM: Can it be true and Sam is the son of the devil? Last week on Reaper they wanted us to start thinking that. No matter what happens tonight sadly you will have to wait until 2009 for the follow-up.

HBO ““ 8:00 PM: Knocked Up is definitely the movie that catapulted Seth Rogen into the stratosphere, and gave a nice boost to Katherine Heigl as well.

WEDNESDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: From the hype you would think that the only thing really on TV tonight is American Idol. All of the other networks really seem to have thrown in the towel and completely agreed with this perception.

MTV ““ 8:00 PM: If you want to hide from the hype why not take in four hours of The Real World: Hollywood? Chock full of interventions, stolen panties, and fun lovin’ conflict.

THURSDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: Season finale night on ABC kicks off with the stunt casting of Lindsey Lohan on Ugly Betty. Words can’t even express how much I won’t be watching this tonight.

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: So You Think You Can Dance? Me either.

IFC ““ 8:00 PM: Take in 90 minutes of the R. Kelly saga Trapped in the Closet.

ABC ““ 9:00 PM: Two hour season finale for Grey’s Anatomy. Just typing about this and Ugly Betty caused a serious drop in my testosterone. Must find sports game, STAT!

FRIDAY

BBCA ““ 8:00 PM: One of my favorite “story telling” comedians is on tonight with two back-to-back specials: Eddie Izard: Dress to Kill and Eddie Izard: Glorious. Don’t tune in expecting to see the guy from The Riches.

HBO ““ 8:00 PM: Braveheart is such a good movie it almost makes you forget about the drunken, misogynistic, anti-Semitic side of Mel Gibson. Almost.

SATURDAY

HIST ““ 8:00 PM: The History Channel is once again trying to cash in on the Indiana Jones hype by re-running the Quest for the Lost Ark.

FOOD ““ 8:00 PM: It’s an Iron Chef America marathon tonight. See how Bobby Flay and Mario Batali became chefs of iron. Just be sure to eat a big meal before viewing.

SUNDAY

TBS ““ 8:00 PM: A freak accident gives womanizing Mel Gibson the ability to hear the thoughts of women in What Women Want. A guilty pleasure flick of mine, regardless of how absurd it is.

CMTV ““ 8:00 PM: Four words that just scream at you to tune in: My Big Redneck Wedding. Anything that shows a wedding with greased pig catching gets my attention.

Will Wilkins did, in fact, attend a redneck wedding once”¦ complete with the father-of-the bride dancing in a pig trough.

May 18, 2008

SModcast 50

Filed under: SModcast — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:56 pm

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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 50: Gnome Alone –

In which our heroes relate ribald tales of corporate piracy, draw upon the scat games of the short and fantastical, discuss the first generation of hand-held games, and reminisce about the imaginary lengths a boy will go to in an effort to secure some free comic books.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 50 (MP3 format) – 52.10 MB

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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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Win a PREMIUM FORMAT INDIANA JONES from SIDESHOW COLLECTIBLES!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:32 pm

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Sideshow Collectibles, one (1) regular edition PREMIUM FORMAT INDIANA JONES. Not only that, we’re also giving away five (5) SIDESHOW COLLECTIBLES INDIANA JONES T-SHIRTS to the runners-up.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Friday, May 30th.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS ITEM WILL NOT BE SHIPPED UNTIL 3rd QUARTER 2008.



CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Friday, May 30th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

May 17, 2008

Game On! 5-16-08: Confessions Of An Achievement Whore

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 4:28 am

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Geez, what the hell happened to playing games for fun anymore?

I mean, seriously. There was a time when i would play a game simply for the enjoyment of playing that game. I loved to do reviews, because i would pick apart the subtle nuances of each and every title in my catalog and only the most worthy would survive. Nowadays, this is simply not the case.

Now, I play games to pad my “gamerscore”. Yes, primarily I DO play them to review them (when I do get the chance) but now, rather than trying to see a game for it’s merits, i see it only as 1000 more points under my gamertag.

And honestly, why the fuck does THAT matter…to anyone? Those points are meaningless, and yet, some strive for full completion of a game (or at least full allotment of points for a game) simply to add the number to their score, a notch in the belt of geeks everywhere, full bragging rights and all that.

But that’s all they are; bragging rights. They don’t bring you money, fame or fortune, they just say “look at me, I have less of a life than you, I was able to get all 1000 points in GUITAR HERO III and all I have to show for it is arthritis and some bloodshot eyes”. They offer no other recourse other than comparison with one’s frends, and more often than not, ridicule.

Occasionally (read: ONCE) Xbox has held a competition to see how fast you can advance your score in a set period of time, and issue rewards for such “achievements”. This is a brilliant idea. This should be implemented on a more frequent basis. Like every month. For example, every time you get…say…8,000 Gamerscore, you should get, like, 500 Microsoft points or something. Give us an actual initiative to fulfil the requirements of beating a game to it’s fullest.

This way, we would feel a bit more satisfied for slogging through dreck like VIKING: BATTLE FOR ASGARD. Sure, beating the game is a great way to advance your score by about 600 pts, but you’ll feel dirty inside. You hack, slash, and slice your way through endless hordes of demons to save your brethren, only to do it all again in the next town. And while the graphics are decent, the gameplay is slow, and there’s little reward or replay value. There’s boobs, there’s fire, there eviscerations galore…but lasting fun? Not so much. It’s not horrible, mind, it’s just so damn repetitive.

The same can be said for DARK SECTOR. It’s a gorgeous game, but a little on the “lather, rinse, repeat” side of things. The glaive blade spices things up, but if it weren’t for the GEARS OF WAR style cover system or the RESIDENT EVIL 4 over the shoulder targeting, it’d be just any other dimly lit brooding third person shooter. The story is decent enough here, but they don’t give you ENOUGH of it to stay invested in the characters, so once again you find yourself pushing forward to the end of “just one more mission” (whose corridors look the same as the LAST mission, by the way) just so you can hear that satisfying “badoop” and get your 20 more pts for beating a level.

I even fall victim to it in sports titles. Hell, i don’t even LIKE sports titles, but occasionally, i find myself playing them, just for fun. As long as they’re of the more arcade nature, i actually get some enjoyment out of them. Or at least I used to. Take, for example, NBA BALLERS: CHOSEN ONE. here’s a series i really enjoyed in the last generation of systems. Arcade gameplay, goofy powershots and just the right dose of fun. Now, however,, all of that is stripped away in favor of flashy”game breaker” combos and moves with animations you can’t skip. The stat system is supposed to adjust your skills according to how you play, which is a great idea if i t actually DID that. I spent one match throwing nothing but three point shots, and at the end, i got higher stat improvements in things i didn’t do at all such as REBOUNDS and STEALS. Meanwhile, my three point skill went up by ONE. And yet, i keep playing the game, knowing it’s not as good as the last, just so I can break 30K.

I find it’s influencing the other game’s I play too. In the handheld FINAL FANTASY VII: CRISIS CORE (PSP) and FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: RINGS OF FATE (DS) i see myself judging the games, wishing I could get achievements when I’m fighting through the parts I don’t like (which for CRYSTAL CHRONICLES was all of it…the multiplayer especially is lag-tastic) just to make playing more worth it. Admittedly, though, CRISIS CORE is VERY worth the play through if you’re a big FFVII fan: it begins the story very well and brings all the right elements to the front of the epic we already know. Unfortunately, the battle system is a little imperfect. You’ll find yourself wailing on the X button all day, just hoping for another cut-scene. And you forget to cycle BACK to your attack move after highlighting a health icon for a quick save, you’ll end up eating 3 potions before you realize you’re not even striking that giant dog in front of you.

Still, that’s not as bad as on the consoles connected to my TV. I get OKAMI for the Wii and all i can think is “gee, I wish I playing this again added to my score” rather than thinking “gee, they sure cut a lot out of the Wii version”. As it stands, the controls aren’t as fluid on the Wii version, which is bizarre, considering you’d think the Wii-mote would be a perfect fit for such a title. Also sad is the fact that most for the character introductions in all their wordy Japanese translations have been severely cut-down for the Western audience, which if you’ve played the PS2 version, you’ll know they were initially intact over here. Still, at least the game is worth playing if you missed it the first time, and as long as you can deal with the controls thinking you’re painting rather than attacking every so often.

I knew I was in trouble, however, when playing MARIO KART WII with my girlfriend. We were having fun racing down familiar tracks from past entries in the series, the Wii Wheel was actually responsive and fun to use, and boosting during drifts was easier than ever (though the old snaking method is still there for BIGGER boosts for the hardcore fans). Yet somehow, my girl managed to make all the good points vanish when, as i asked her if she’d lie to unlock the new courses in single payer, she remarked “nah, i don’t get any gamerscore for them”.

I’ve created a monster.

Ah well. It’s not all bad. Some games are worth playing even beyond the gamerscore. CONDEMNED 2: BLOODSHOT scared the shit out of me so much I didn’t even think of how many pints i was earning, just how many pants i was ruining. The environments and story elements were top-notch and helped clear up the rather ambiguous and confusing ending of the first game, and the battle system was even better than before. The multiplayer was also a welcome addition, and served to while away some time in a crazy first person FIGHT CLUB WITH BUMS kind of way.

Plus, there’s GTAIV to keep me busy. I’d write about it now, but I’d like to actually finish the game before making my final verdict on it, and the game is just SO encompassing that doing so in a timely fashion while also working a full time job takes more effort than I have. Plus, I’m trying to get that “Liberty City Minute” achievement for beating the game’s story mode in under 30 hours.

 

VIKING: BATTLE FOR ASGARD

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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DARK SECTOR

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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NBA BALLERS: CHOSEN ONE

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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FFVII: CRISIS CORE

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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FFCC:RoF

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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OKAMI

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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MARIO KART WII

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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CONDEMNED2: BLOODSHOT

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Ratings From Greatest to Least:

Kick Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (aka CRAPTACULAR)

Cabin Fever #24: Brand Spanking New

Filed under: Cabin Fever — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:11 am

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cabin.jpgOh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #24: Brand Spanking New – Aaron and Brian finally get back on track. With their shiny new equipment arriving, they start recording a brand spanking new episode, their first in nearly a month. Australians, mummies, dragon cartoons, the Champions League Final, the awesomesauce(TM) that is Father Ted and other assorted unimportant subjects get the usual treatment, as well as other crap that is unfit for community radio. It feels good to be back!

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #24 (MP3 format)

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May 16, 2008

Scrubs Blog: My Fairy Tale Prince

Filed under: Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:11 am

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VIDEO BLOG #103: “My Fairy Tale Prince” ““
This week, we continue our look at the filming of the 7th season finale, focusing on Prince Charming himself, Keith.

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[flashvideo filename=”videos/scrubs/103_my_fairy_tale_prince_stream.flv” width=”480″ height=”360″ image=videos/scrubs/scrubs-103.jpg /]

Want to embed it in your blog? Use the code below…

Download Scrubs Video Blog #103:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 82.90 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 36.10 MB)

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