FRED Entertainment

August 31, 2007

Party Favors: Living & Dying In A Kid Nation

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:30 am

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SANTA FE, NM – Remember those pictures of small kids fresh from working 14 hours deep inside a coal mine that popped up on TV news specials? The network newscaster would give a little talk about the evils of forcing kids to work inhumane conditions for prolonged hours for little pay. CBS has pretty much threw that attitude away with Kid Nation.

The network that once brought us Harvest of Shame decided to stick 40 kids in the New Mexico desert for the sake of mining ratings gold. They worked 8 year old children for at least 14 hours in the brutal elements so they can have a weekly harvest of 40 minutes of prime time nuggets. These kids were removed from school and their parents for nearly two months.

The nice part is that CBS got around all the child labor laws by claiming these kids were going to camp instead of working on a TV show. A camp? Really? When I went to summer camp, I created potholders for my parents. I didn’t create hours of prime time entertainment for America. When I went to camp, I spent quite a bit of time sitting near the campfire just being quiet. These kids were expected to create a multi-million dollar franchise for CBS tyrant Les Moonves. Think they were allowed to merely sit around and read a book? That doesn’t make exciting television. Does it now, Les? Those kids weren’t allowed to do what kids might really want do at camp. Instead you had a mandate of what you needed them to do so the show didn’t flounder. Kids Nation is a 21st century video-taped child labor camp. And you, Les, are Strother Martin in Cool Hand Luke. Did you visit the “camp” wearing a pair of mirrored sunglasses? Was one of the money contests for the kids eating 50 eggs? You had 40 inmates on that work farm. Instead of shotguns, your Boss Paul kept a camera on their every move.

The funny part is hearing that if the kids didn’t like it, they could leave. They weren’t being held against their will. Really? Isn’t that what all sweatshop owners say when they get busted on 60 Minutes? What would Les do if the 40 kids decided this show was stupid and they wanted to go home? These kids came to play a game. They know what happens to quitters on reality shows. They get blackballed from any further network shows. And they get mocked on the school bus. What 8 year old wants to live with the stigma of being a network quitter? They want Survivor fame. And the fat dollars for winning.

Les Moonves raped the corpse of Jackie Coogan. Every TV production rule that deals with using children in a TV production was set on fire by Moonves. He claims these kids were not employed by CBS. They were merely contestants on a game show. Here’s a new rule that networks need to observe… if a person can’t go home at the end of a production shoot, they aren’t contestants – they’re employees of a show. The people who appear on The Price Is Right are contestants. At the end of a show, they go home. They aren’t locked inside the Bob Barker soundstage until the next game begins. They don’t have cameras in their faces 24 hours a day. Even though it was the middle of the school year when this was shot, CBS didn’t have to provide on location tutors for the kids. That would interfere with the illusion that these kids were left alone in the wilderness to build their own society. Did all these kids flunk their grade level? I don’t know too many school systems that let you skip two months for the sake of making a TV show. Or did Les Moonves hire Juan Epstein’s mother to write them all notes?

Reports are now out that several children drank bleach during the shoot. The network still claims that the show was supervised. Who allowed the second kid to drink bleach? And the ones after that kid? There’s a major difference between an adult supervised camp and a reality show location. You want these kids to drink bleach at the reality camp cause it makes an amazing video. You get drama, confusion and rescue. It’s like an episode of E.R.: On the Range. Maybe these kids were supervised by the same professionals credited on Jackass?

Even from a scientific standpoint, can we enjoy this show? These were kids taken from their families with the lure of fame and prize money. Notice that nobody from CBS is defending this project to the press. Is an academic in charge of this social experiment? There’s no Margret Meade working at the Tiffany Network. Instead we’re stuck with weaselly producers who have the same moral code as sub prime mortgage dealers. Kid Nation dips into the ethics of concentration camp science. Can we truly use the research of Nazi scientists from torturing others for their pleasure as true research? Can we take anything away from Kid Nation with the knowledge that 8 year olds were exploited for the end product? Remember when CBS went after Kathie Lee Gifford for the kids that worked on her clothing line? CBS doesn’t mind tossing children into a sweatshop of reality programming.

Reading the contract these kids signed to appear on the show reveals the inhumane mindset of Moonves and his ilk. Like a concentration camp, a child could be murdered by the show’s producer and the parents couldn’t sue since that right was waived when they agreed to let the kid appear on camera. A kid could be raped by an HIV infected CBS employee and the parents would have no recourse against the network hiring sexual predators thanks to this contract. And if these kids dare talk about the truth of this reality show, CBS could sue the family for $5 million. If Hitler had put film cameras into his camps, he could have described them as extreme reality competitions. And those survivors who dared to tell the truth to the Allies would have their asses sued. The Nazis could have claimed they weren’t committing genocide, they were merely having a competition to see who would be the last person standing in their concentration camp reality show.

Why not that be CBS’s next reality show, Les Moonves? Recreate a Nazi work camp and randomly pick the guards and prisoners from your applicants. Your network did get boffo ratings for Hogan’s Heroes. Let’s take the next step. Since you obviously have no gag reflex, why not see what happens after six months of one group of people being called the “Master Race” while they imprison the sub humans? Why not recreate the “Stanford Prison Experiment” with celebrities? Maybe next year you can just stick a bunch of 8 year olds “contestants” in a coal mine and let us know that Edward R. Murrow was a sissy.

QSE News: Week In Review – 8/31/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:16 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgRumor has it that Britney Spears will be performing at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. The awards show will air Sunday September 9th. Spears is said to be dusting off “fan favorites” for the performance that will likely include shaving her head, flashing her VaJay, lip-synching and pretending that her career isn’t over.
  • The Cure have postponed fall tour plans in order to concentrate on finishing the band’s next album. The band is now set to crisscross America in April and May of next year. The band’s tour promoter also apologized for the cancellations and said “I guess those 30-year-old guys still wearing make-up and capes will have to get beaten up somewhere else for a little while.”
  • Former child-actor Scott Baio and his girlfriend are expecting their first child. Baio currently stars in the reality TV show Scott Baio is 45… and Single. Hollywood insiders are expecting Baio’s child to continue the Baio legacy by being unattractive but for some reason still able to bang the hottest chicks in Hollywood.
  • Actor Owen Wilson, friend of the vastly-more popular actor, Will Ferrell, was rushed to the hospital earlier this week after an apparent, and half-assed, suicide attempt.  Wilson could not be reached for comment, but when asked why the star “attempted” to take his own life, the attending doctor queried back “how many times can you be called ‘dick-nose’ before it starts to have an adverse affect on you?”
  • According to producer Daniel Lanois, the new U2 album is “making itself.” This is excellent news, as the last couple of albums U2 made have kinda sucked, so it’s nice to see they are letting something else write their albums.
  • The unfairly successful Dancing With the Stars has released its list of this season’s dancers. Included in the mix of the washed-up and talentless is former Beverly Hills 90210 actress Jennie Garth and Melanie Brown, aka “Scary Spice” from the Spice Girls.  Producers did say that for the third season in a row, their first choice, Stephen Hawking, was unavailable.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Trailer Park: BALLS OF FURY

Filed under: Columns,Quick Cast Interviews,Trailer Park,Video — admin @ 12:07 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Hijacked.

Hijacked is the only way I can explain how the final moments of this interview went. Specifically speaking, and without looking at the tape to be sure, I remember talking to Ben and Thomas about BALLS OF FURY and then a wandering James “David Lo Pan” Hong comes right into the room and just devolves the moment into one big question mark about what just happened.

The looks on both Thomas’ and Ben’s faces were priceless as I would say mine was with the exception that I was the guy working the camera. I know there was a lot of apologizing going around but it wasn’t necessary in the slightest; it was equal parts bizarre and hilarious.

Much like BALLS OF FURY.

The movie, which really seems like one complete extension of the idea of what would happen if you made a film about competitive table tennis, mixed in some classic Christopher Walken goodness and set the whole thing to a raging Def Leppard soundtrack. You can’t really go wrong with a comedy that takes itself so seriously when it comes to its premise and executes it with the subtle funny we’re used to getting out of the creative minds behind the production.

BALLS OF FURY is currently at theaters everywhere.

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Download SDCC Balls of Fury Interview:

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Weekend Shopping Guide 8/31/07: Holding Out For A Hero

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

When Lost‘s third season showed itself to be full of narrative stumbling and became mired in its own mythology (Hello, X-Files!), thank jebus Heroes was there to pick up the sci-fi slack with a storyline that incorporated the best of comic book mythology (Ordinary people becoming superheroes! Evil villains! Kick ass cheerleader in jeopardy! Time travel!) and a storytelling style that doesn’t leave viewers frustrated chasing smoke monsters and mirrors, hoping for a revelatory morsel. Check out the complete first season (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) for yourself and see what all the fuss was about. The 7-disc set features all 23 episodes, plus the original pilot, 50 deleted scenes, a making-of documentary, featurettes (on the stunts, special effects, and score), audio commentaries, and a profile of artist Tim Sale.

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While not as bizarrely out there as Dodgeball or grounded as Caddyshack, Blades of Glory (Dreamworks, Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.99 SRP) is definitely part of the long lineage of sports comedies that date back to that links classic. In this opus, the spotlight is on figure skating, and two skaters in particular, actually – the pampered wunderkind Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) and the grizzled, boozing veteran Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell). When a post match brawl gets them banned from solo skating and leave them on the skids for 3 years, the discovery of a loophole allows them entry back into the sport that defined their lives – but only if they become a figure skating pair. It’s amiable and fun, and definitely worth a spin on the ice. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes featurettes. Alternate takes, deleted scenes, a gag reel, and more.

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In a time when Queen Elizabeth I has been revitalized onscreen, finally a biography comes along that captures her fierce spirit and a fascinating period of her long reign. The Pirate Queen (Harper Collins, $26.95 SRP) details the brilliant financial and logistical mind that built the foundations of a globe-spanning empire, and the merchant-adventurers in her employ that found ways both daring and heavy-handed to span that globe.

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He’s now part of the comedy pantheon, but after he debuted on Spaced and before Shaun and Hot Fuzz, Nick Frost co-starred on a britcom called Manstrokewoman (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), a very funny sketch comedy show about relationships. Snap up the US debut of the complete first season, featuring audio commentaries and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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The battle of the bachelors continues in then complete second season of The Odd Couple (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD=$38.99 SRP), which brought not only Felix’s ex-wife Gloria and Oscar’s secretary Myrna & ex-wife Blanche to the cast, but also the beloved Murray the Cop. You even get a flashback to when Felix first met Oscar. The 4-disc set features all 23 remastered episodes.

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Although she claims it’s the last time she’ll fill the role of Detective Superintendent Jane Tennison, I’m not quite ready to believe Helen Mirren’s last turn in Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Acorn Media, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is the end. Maybe it’s just because it’s such a powerful performance that I have trouble letting go of the character, and can only hope she reconsiders.

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And if Mirren’s claims that Tennison’s time was at an end weren’t blow enough, Robbie Coltrane takes his final turn as Detective Edward “Fitz” Fitzgerald in Cracker: A New Terror (Acorn Media, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP). Hard living Fitz returns to England after a decade as an ex-pat is swept into the hunt for a murderer in a post-9/11 landscape far different from the one he used to operate in. Brilliant stuff. Bonus materials include a brand new retrospective documentary detailing the history of Cracker.

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It was very hard to resist not saying “she turns your DVD player on with her smile”… And, I guess I failed to resist it. Of course, this must mean that the complete third season of Marlo Thomas as That Girl (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP). The 4-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus a featurette on the creation of the show, a make-up test, and audio commentaries from Thomas and creator Bill Persky.

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I admit, I care nothing for sports. The only sports I’ve developed an affection for are those featured on the other end of my Wii controller. So, it goes to follow that a show like Friday Night Lights (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) – about the high school football, and soap opera storyline, obsessed denizens of Dillon Texas – would not be my cup of tea. And it’s not, but it is a rather well put together show that spent most of last season on the cancellation bubble. Now you can pick up the entire first season and see if it’s up your alley, before the new season launches. Yes, the fate of the show may be in your hands. The 5-disc set features all 22 episodes, plus a behind-the-scenes featurette and deleted scenes.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/31/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 30, 2007

Scrubs Blog: My Wind Tunnel

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:33 pm

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VIDEO BLOG #86: “My Wind Tunnel” ““
Season 7 is still under wraps, so here’s another blast from the recent Season 6 past, as a mighty wind blows through episode 6×18, “My Turf War”.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #86:

 

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The Balls of Fury Contest!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 2:30 pm


In conjunction with the big screen debut of Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon’s new comedy BALLS OF FURY, we’re giving away – to a clutch of lucky winners – the film’s soundtrack, poster, a shirt, stickers, pins, and more. The film is in theaters now, and any one of these prizes could be yours in the near future.

All you have to do is fill out the entry form below”¦

Contest ends at midnight EST on Tuesday, September 4th.

Contest closed. Thanks for playing.

Toy Box: Batman Black and White – Alex Ross

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 1:23 am

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DC Direct has had themselves a fair share of good ideas over the years, but none have been quite up my alley like the Batman Black and White statues. Being a huge Batman fan, it’s been a terrific pleasure to pick up and display all these various versions of the Caped Crusader, done by different artists and sculptors, yet unencombered by questions of color. Besides, the black and gray outfit has always been the best.

The latest release is based on the artwork of Alex Ross, one of the best known comic artists of the last decade. And when I say ‘best known’, I’m not talking about within comic circles, but rather within the wider audience of the ‘regular folks’. His work is also fairly controversial within the comic book reading world, and his style certainly doesn’t speak to everyone.

This statue based on his artwork shipped a couple weeks ago to your local comic shop, where you’ll pay around $50.

Batman Black and White – Alex Ross

While the style is based on the artwork of Alex Ross, the sculpt is by the talented Karen Palinko. This statue is a limited edition of 6000, which isn’t all that limited, so availability shouldn’t be an issue for quite some time to come.

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Packaging – **1/2
The box keeps the statue safe and sound, which is job 1. There’s no window, so you won’t be able to inspect the statue in store, and there’s no COA.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
Ms. Palinko has done a terrific job with the overall sculpt, and has managed to capture Ross’ style without caricaturizing it. This is a very classic appearance for Batman as well, without any over blown musculature or excessively dynamic pose.

The proportions are very natural and realistic, at least in comic book superhero terms. Bats has a gritty and determined expression, but thankfully doesn’t appear to be suffering from any sort of gastrointestinal dsyfunction. There’s enough detail work here to give the statue life, including the very realistic folding and wrinkling of the cape, and the aging of the face.

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The best results in bringing artist versions to three dimensions always occur when the sculptor’s and artist’s natural styles mesh. That seems to be the case here, where the sculptor brought in the right amount of detail and a clean, smooth style that matches well with Ross’ artwork.

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Paint – **1/2
Unfortunately, the sculpt is let down a bit by the paint ops this time around. Obviously, the figure is grayscale, so there aren’t a lot of issues with inconsistent colors or tones. Most of the cuts are fairly clean, with just a little slop around the cool huge bat symbol on his chest, and a few around the boots.

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However, the eyes are an issue, and of all the areas on any bust, statue or figure that has to be right to get the overall look right, it’s the eyes. If they are the windows to our souls, they are the key to realism on any artistic representation of us.

Here the eyes are a tad sloppy, and worse, quite flat in appearance. The iris and even the white of the eye itself are fairly large for the face, giving him a wide eyed appearance within the mask. They also lack any differentiating finish, so that the matte of the mask and the matte of the eyes blends in together. Human eyes are wet in appearance, and highly reflective in most light. This dull appearance hurts the overall apperance of the statue quite a bit for me, and is really not acceptable at this price point.

Design – ***
This is one of those weird designs, where I like the pose…but I’m not sure why.

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I know that I like that it’s not overly dramatic, and there’s some restraint in the design shown here that I appreciate. But the actual pose is one of those where if you think about it too much, as I am oft want to do, you start to realize that you have no idea what it is he’s actually doing. He appears intimidating, but not in a traditional sense. It’s almost like he’s half way into doing a Bela Lugosi style Dracula pose, caught mid-move.

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The more I study sculpture and portrait photograpy, the more I realize that some poses look as though they are truly a moment caught in time, more like photo-journalism. Others, while appearing cool, are more like posed portraits, where you asked the person to strike a particular pose and hold it, not because it looks particularly natural but because it simply looks cool in the end result. I think this design is more of the latter than the former, and how much you like it could depend on how much you prefer the one style to the other.

I didn’t mention it in the Sculpt section, but these are in a 7″ scale, or a large 6″ scale. This statue fits in pretty well with the rest of the series in terms of size and proportion.

Value – **
These statues are generally a tad high considering the huge edition sizes and the size of the statue itself. If you can find it in the $40 – $45 range, you can add another half star.

Things to Watch Out For –
Beyond the obvious with any statue, there’s nothing here to worry about. It is too bad though that the package lacks a window – it would make the concerns of the paint less of an issue.

Overall – ***
While the statue isn’t perfect, it is a good addition to the full display. It’s not the kind I’d buy all by itself, but in conjunction with the rest of the series, it makes a lot of sense to own. With several more statues already scheduled to be released in this series, it’s definitely getting to be a crowded shelf!

Where to Buy –
If you’re local comic shop didn’t order, or they’re charging an arm and a leg, you have plenty of online options:

Alter Ego has him available at $48.

CornerStoreComics has him in stock at $47.

Amazing Toyz has him at $47 as well.

Related Links –
I’ve checked out a number of the B&W statues, including the Mike Mignola version, the Matt Wagner version, and the Kelly Jones version.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/30/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A little bit of Goodness Gracious Me(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 29, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/29/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Thanks to Dana Snyder, I’ve become addicted to the Wii, and this is my new go-to site for news… (Thingamabob)
  • And this is where I go for all my Zelda news… (Thingamabob)
  • This is where you can buy Link’s shield… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 28, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/28/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 27, 2007

SModcast 26

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:09 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 26: Beware The Hobo –

In which a special guest fills in for one of our heroes, prompting a heavy bout of reminiscences about what kind of purchases can set off parental fisticuffs, how metal is metal, what it means to be man-friends in Jersey, and saying goodbye to 42nd Street – all of which is interjected by a discussion of nature’s most evil arachnid.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 26 (MP3 format) – 50.32 MB

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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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Comics in Context #191: You Are My Lucky Star

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 12:05 am

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cic2007-08-27-01.jpgHere’s an example of how fast the culture is changing. As regular readers know, I’ve given many talks at New York City’s Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (www.moccany.org). Two years ago I decided to hold a discussion of Stardust, the novel written by Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Charles Vess, both luminaries of the comics world. Nobody showed up. A month and a half ago, I was sitting in a local restaurant, gazing out the window, and saw a bus go by, bearing a advertisement for the Stardust movie on its side.

Last month I write about how the makers of the movie Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer so disastrously failed in their attempt to translate classic stories by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, notably their “Galactus trilogy,” to the screen. (See “Comics in Context” #184185, and Quick Stop contributor Paul Dini makes his own incisive attack on the film in his podcast “Dini Double Feature” #3.) In contrast, the Stardust movie is considerably more faithful to its source material. Neil Gaiman sold the movie rights to a director he trusted with the material, Matthew Vaughn, and persuaded him to hire Jane Goldman, who collaborated with Vaughn on the screenplay (see “Comics in Context”#144). In numerous recent interviews Gaiman, who is one of the movie’s producers, has made clear he is happy with the finished film.

The movie still differs from the book in numerous respects. The changes range from the slight (the hero is named “Tristran Thorn” in the book, but “Tristan,” like the Wagnerian hero, in the movie) to major (a radically revamped final act, in which various characters meet different fates than they do in the book). A short episode in the book, in which Tristran is befriended by Johannes Alberic, captain of a flying “sky-ship,” becomes an extended sequence in the film which metamorphoses Captain Alberic into the pirate Captain Shakespeare, a considerably more flamboyant character.

Sometimes changes were made for budgetary reasons. In the book there is a battle between a lion and a unicorn, but to save on the CGI budget, only the unicorn appears in the film. Some changes were made due to the demands of dramatizing a prose story onscreen. Hence, Stardust the book devotes its opening chapter to the story of Dunstan Thorn, leading up to his son Tristran’s birth; the movie greatly condenses this section in order to introduce Tristan more quickly. And sometimes it seems that Gaiman was simply overruled by Vaughn and Goldman, who wanted to take their own approach to an aspect of the story. (Gaiman entertainingly describes the process of adapting Stardust into film in an August 8, 2007 National Public Radio interview.)

While I can understand the reasons why various changes were made in adapting the book, it is my role as a critic and independent scholar to show how even minor changes to a significant work of fiction can result in the loss of valuable nuances in the book. (And if you haven’t either read the book or seen the film, consider yourselves given spoiler warnings.)

Take the lion and the unicorn episode, for example, from Chapter Five. It serves many purposes. For one thing, as Tristran realizes, the battle between the two creatures is a reenactment of a famous nursery rhyme (“The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown. . . .”). The book has already established that Tristran is journeying through the enchanted realm of Faerie: this episode further suggests that this is the world of fairy tales, in which children’s fantasy stories take on reality. The lion and the unicorn appear on the royal coat of arms of the United Kingdom, so their presence in Stardust marks its version of Faerie as a specifically British fantasy world. Moreover, Stardust‘s lion and unicorn may serve as an allusion to Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass, in which a battling lion and unicorn likewise appear. Alice and Tristran each recalls the nursery rhyme when he or she sees the battling lion and unicorn.

Although these subtexts are all worth notice, they are less important than what the episode conveys about the characters of Tristran and the book’s leading lady, Yvaine, the star in human form who has literally fallen to Earth. So far Yvaine has been utterly contemptuous towards Tristran, throwing mud at him and insulting him as soon as they first met in Chapter Four. Tristran doesn’t have Yvaine’s problem with anger management, but he is wrapped up in his quest to find a fallen star and bring it back to Victoria, the young woman whom he believes he loves. He is so obsessed with Victoria and his quest that he is rather lacking in empathy towards other people.

“”˜I broke my leg,” said the young lady [Yvaine].
“˜I’m sorry, of course,’ said Tristran. “˜But the star.'”
(Stardust, Harper Perennial edition, p. 103)

Tristran isn’t so “sorry” that he offers to do anything to relieve Yvaine’s pain or to comfort her. Moreover, once he realizes that Yvaine is the fallen star he seeks, he takes her prisoner, binding her to himself with a magical chain. He intends to give her to Victoria, as if she were not a person but an animal or object. Although the book never uses the word, this naive, innocent young man is nonetheless treating her as a slave.

But Tristran probably doesn’t realize the import of what he has done to Yvaine. Nor is he cruel: by the start of Chapter Five he makes a splint for her leg, offers to find her a doctor, and worries that she’ll starve. (Actually, according to the book, stars don’t eat.)

When they encounter the battling lion and unicorn, Yvaine demonstrates her own deep capacity for compassion, even for these fearsome beasts. “‘Stop them,’ whispered the star. “˜They will kill each other.'” (p. 114). When it becomes clear that the lion will kill the unicorn, Yvaine pleads with Tristran to try to stop the battle. Although Tristran knows that he cannot possibly stop the battling creatures by force, and that they would probably kill him as well, he nonetheless advances till he is only “an arm’s length from the beasts” (p. 115). Recalling the nursery rhyme, Tristran picks up a crown lying in the nearby grass and places it on the lion’s head; with that, the fight is over. Despite her own broken leg, Yvaine makes her way over to the unicorn and comforts it; she insists that they stay with the wounded animal, “and Tristran had not the heart to refuse her” (p. 116).

So through this episode the book first reveals Yvaine’s capacity for great empathy and kindness. It also depicts Tristran’s first important act of bravery in the story. Moreover, although at the end of Chapter Four, Tristran accepted Yvaine’s description of him as “a ninny, a numbskull, a lackwit and a coxcomb,” his solution for taming the lion is rather clever. (As with “The Tale of the Three Brothers” in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, children’s stories and rhymes prove to contain genuine wisdom.) He may be naive, often unthinking and self-deluded, but Tristran can rise above these failings and display true intelligence. Further, why did he risk his life to save the unicorn? Was it simply his emerging capacity to care about other beings than himself and his idealized vision of Victoria? Or was Tristran also acting out of a growing unconscious affection for Yvaine? Tristran embarked on a quest to find the fallen star in order to please Victoria; Yvaine effectively asked him to go on a quest to save the unicorn, and he obeyed, even though his conscious mind warned him against it. Stardust is principally the story of Tristran’s development from callow boy to mature adult, and this episode presents a striking step in that development.

The sequence concludes with Yvaine and Tristran lying on opposite sides of the unicorn, but still joined by the chain, on which Tristran focuses his attention just before falling asleep. Yvaine and Tristran are separate but linked, and his efforts to hear her quiet singing suggest he wishes he were figuratively closer to her. Even though Yvaine had earlier warned Tristran that she would do anything she could to obstruct her quest, in saving the unicorn’s life, they have acted in unison, foreshadowing the emotional bond that will grow between them.

The chain reminds me of the handcuffs in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1935 film The Thirty-Nine Steps, which serve a similar thematic purpose: its hero on a cross-country quest is handcuffed to a woman who resents him and intends to thwart him, but they end up as both allies and lovers.

But a CGI lion was judged to be too expensive for a single scene, and the scene really isn’t essential to the story. So in the film Tristan and Yvaine encounter the unicorn, who is needed for subsequent plot developments, under more peaceful circumstances. And yet look how much the lion-and-unicorn sequence in the book contributes to the careful reader’s understanding of the main characters, the setting in Faerie, and some of the book’s themes. I wonder if the lion’s fascination with the crown might even serve to parody the obsessions of other Stardust characters–the old witch (played by Michelle Pfeiffer in the film) and the murderous Septimus–with power.

In order to find the fallen star for Victoria, Tristan/Tristran had to cross over from normal reality into a world of the supernatural.

In Joseph Campbell’s The Hero of A Thousand Faces, he describes the various phases of the archetypal “hero’s journey” monomyth that underlies adventure stories. Among these is the protagonist’s “crossing of the threshold” which separates the normal, ordinary world from the realm of adventure, which is often enchanted. To get past the threshold, the protagonist must contend against a “threshold guardian.”

Stardust the novel makes its threshold wonderfully explicit. Tristran lives in the British town of Wall, which is named after an actual wall, which separates the town from a literally enchanted realm, that of Faerie. There is only a single gap in the wall, which is guarded by the townspeople of Wall, who are determined not to allow any of Wall’s children or any visitors to the town pass through into Faerie; apparently, the adult townspeople of Wall have no intention of going there. The only exception to the prohibition comes once every nine years on May Day, when the townspeople of Wall cross through the gap to attend a fair that is held in the meadow immediately on the other side.

The nature of the wall raises questions in my mind. Does the wall, which comes out of the woods and reenters them, have end points, enabling someone to walk around it? Is the wall presumably some kind of dimensional barrier, and Faerie actually located in another dimension? That would explain why Captain Alberic/Shakespeare couldn’t just sail his flying ship over the wall.) Probably wisely, Gaiman leaves the answers to these questions as mysteries: fairy tales do not conform to scientific principles. But his narrator does explain in the book that “Faerie is bigger than England, as it is bigger than the world (for, since the dawn of time, each land that has been forced off the map by explorers and the brave going out and proving it wasn’t there has taken refuge in Faerie. . . ) ” (p. 63). This suggests that while Faerie seems on the surface to be part of our world, just over that wall, it is actually an alternate reality, constructed over the ages by the imaginations of storytellers.

The movie avoids referring to the enchanted realm as Faerie. Why? Was the name considered confusing because Tristan does not encounter any actual fairies in the film? Was it thought that movie audiences nowadays cannot separate the word “fairy” from its alternate meaning as a slur against gays? By using the term “Faerie” for the realm beyond the wall, the book suggests that this is a truly magical world which perhaps predates human civilization in Britain. Moreover, Stardust is set in the 19th century, and its use of the term “Faerie” connects the book with the tradition of depicting fairies in Victorian literature and art.

Most importantly, Gaiman’s use of the name “Faerie” in the book makes it immediately clear to the reader that this is indeed an enchanted realm on the other side of the wall. One of my problems with the movie is that the world on the other side of the wall never seems like a truly magical land to me. It looks beautiful, certainly, but it looks and seems real. Referring to it as “Stormhold” makes it sound like another nation, not a supernatural domain.

This may be a difficult distinction to make clear. Certainly the movie’s “Stormhold” has witches and ghosts and even a unicorn. But Macbeth has witches and ghosts, too, yet no one contends that Scotland is a literally enchanted realm comparable to the land of Faerie. The witches in Macbeth seem like anomalies in an otherwise normal world, or they represent supernatural forces that are normally hidden from mortal view. The Stardust movie makes Stormhold look so realistic that its witches and unicorn likewise seem like anomalies to me. At one point in the book (p. 63), Gaiman’s narrator recounts a legend that as mountain range in Faerie is actually the body of a sleeping giant. The reader can then imagine a mountain range with a vaguely humanoid form, adding to his sense of a magical world, but how could a film visually convey that?

Other recent movies successfully make their distinctions between the normal and magical worlds. Take The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: as soon as the kids step through the wardrobe, they are surrounded by snow (at the wrong time of year) and sight a faun and talking beavers. The sheer number of unusual, supernatural phenomena plays a role. It’s always clear in the Harry Potter movies that Hogwarts is a magical place, what with ghosts and paintings with moving, talking figures, and staircases swinging about with minds of their own.

In Stardust the book Gaiman quickly establishes the supernatural feel of Faerie once Tristran crosses over there: he encounters a “hairy little man”–“if man he was,” notes the narrator-, as well as “tiny people” who emit a flickering light, who might be actual fairies. Later, memorably, there is a talking tree (acknowledged by Gaiman to be inspired by Tori Amos) and, much further on, a talking badger. None of them make it into the movie. As early as page 63, the book’s narrator assures us that “Here, truly, there be Dragons. Also gryphons, wyverns, hippogriffs, basilisks, and hydras.” But in the film’s Stormhold, the supernatural still seems to me to be the exception rather than the rule.

In the film, when Tristan and Yvaine first find Captain Shakespeare’s flying pirate ship soaring unto view, it initially seemed out of place to me: I hadn’t seen anything so massively, spectacularly supernatural in the film up to that point. In the book I accepted Captain Alberic’s flying ship right away. Having read about so many other impossible things by that point, I accepted the ship as a reasonable addition.

The most interesting aspect of the wall in the book for me is that the male townspeople of Wall take turns acting as guards–including Tristram himself and his father Dunstan, each of whom ends up violating his duty by crossing over into Faerie. In other words, this is the only case I can think of in which the protagonist is himself one of Campbell’s threshold guardians! In order to become a hero, he has to give up the role of threshold guardian and defy his former fellow threshold guardians.

In the book this also means freeing oneself from the townspeople’s own version of groupthink. The townspeople of Wall are devoted to not letting anyone cross the barrier either way between their world and Faerie. But why? Neither Dunstan nor Tristran seem to know, nor does anyone else in Wall say why.

The townspeople’s guardianship of the wall seems to me to be a metaphor for a mindset that fears and resents the unknown, that insists on conventional thinking and behavior, and that discourages all but the truly insistent on pursuing alternative paths through life. The only people whom the townspeople of Wall allow to pass through the gap have “a look in the eyes, and once seen it cannot be mistaken” (p. 4). Perhaps Tristran too developed this “look.” It’s as if Wall is a fairy tale version of an archetypal small town, whose citizens are crippled by provincial ways of thinking, and the land over the wall represents the archetypal big city, where those willing to embark on the quest can find “miracles and wonders” (p. 13).

In the movie there only seems to be one threshold guardian for the wall: an ancient man who is nevertheless amusingly formidable in preventing people from crossing the gap. (Does he never sleep?) I think that the movie misses something important here. The book has presented us with a powerful image of an entire community that devotes itself to preventing individuals from leaving and making a different kind of life. (Suddenly I find myself thinking of television’s The Prisoner.) In the movie it may well be that the community doesn’t even know that there is an enchanted world on the opposite side of the wall, and there is only this one aged, lone eccentric who shoos (or bears) people away from the threshold.

But what about that exception, on May Day every nine years, when the townspeople cross the threshold just far enough to attend the Faerie fair? This initially puzzled me, but I decided that these May Days are like Mardi Gras and Carnival, or Halloween or Saturnalia. There is a tradition of holidays when the normal rules of order and proper behavior are suspended. It is as if these holidays are outlets for emotions, for sides of our personalities, for activities, which are suppressed during the rest of the year in order that society may function in an orderly fashion. And so in Stardust the book, that outlet for the people of Wall comes once every nine years.

In the movie, though, the enchanted realm’s meadow and its fair are permanently off limits to the people of Wall. Perhaps the filmmakers didn’t want to puzzle the audience as to why there was an exception to the rule about not crossing the threshold.

As noted, Stardust‘s leading lady is Yvaine, a star in human form. who has fallen to Earth. The idea of a star in human form is not new. There is even a Marvel character, Cloud, a member of the Defenders in the 1980s, who was an entire nebula who took the form of a teenage girl (and sometimes a teenage boy) on Earth. I dealt with the concept in this column in my discussion of P.L. Travers’ first Mary Poppins book, in which one of the Pleiades appears as a young girl named Maia and even goes Christmas shopping in London (see “Comics in Context” #158).

What I found most intriguing about the Maia episode, and another one in which Mary Poppins hangs paper stars in the sky, is that they imply that in the world of Mary Poppins, science is wrong. Similarly, after meeting Yvaine, Tristran tells her “that he had always supposed stars to be, as Mrs. Cherry had taught them, flaming balls of burning gas many hundreds of miles across, just like the sun only further away” (p. 111). Mary Poppins and Stardust postulate that science is merely illusion, a notion that is appealing although not to be taken seriously. Science tells us that our planet is a miniscule part of a cosmos too vast for us to comprehend, to which we mean nothing. It is a bleak vision of reality. Wouldn’t the universe seem to be more benign if it had a more human scale, if the stars turned out to be people like ourselves, or to be tiny lights that we could reach out and touch just by climbing Mary Poppins’ ladder?

Still, one of the problems that I have with Stardust, both as a book and as a movie, is in accepting Yvaine as actually being a star. I don’t have trouble with Maia, because Mary Poppins is a more whimsical sort of book than Stardust, which takes a more dramatic tone. I feel that I should take Yvaine more seriously as a character than I do Maia. Are we to imagine that Yvaine and her fellow stars exist in humanoid form, albeit with the ability to shine, up in the heavens? Or do they exist in some other sort of form, and Yvaine took on human form when she fell into the realm of Faerie (just as the book and film tell us that she would transform into an unliving piece of rock–a meteorite–if she left Faerie and entered the “real” world)? Even if stars exist in the heavens in humanoid form, wouldn’t their native realm be very different from Earth’s? Yet Yvaine seems to have no trouble adjusting to Earth.

Certainly, Yvaine gives off light, but she does not seem to me to be a different kind of being in essence from Tristran/Tristan and the other humans. I find myself thinking back to Lee and Kirby’s “Galactus trilogy,” in which another celestial being literally falls to Earth–the Silver Surfer–and encounters a human being–Alicia Masters. Lee and Kirby depict the Surfer as initially not comprehending the ways and nature of humanity, until Alicia opens his eyes not just to the value of the human race, but to the potential for humanity–qualities such as nobility and compassion–within himself. The Silver Surfer is metaphorically an angel or god who has fallen into the world of mortals. That’s the metaphorical role that Yvaine too is intended to fill. Yet neither in the movie nor in the book do I get the sense that there is anything truly unearthly about Yvaine. She seems not like a fallen goddess, but like a dethroned princess, forced to put up with someone–Tristran/Tristan–whom she considers her social inferior.

I’ve thought of another parallel as well. In the book when Tristran and Yvaine first kiss, at last acknowledging their love for each other, the narration states, “He opened his eyes as he kissed the star. Her sky-blue eyes stared back into his, and in her eyes he could see no parting from her” (p. 234).

That last clause seems familiar. Charles Dickens wrote two endings for Great Expectations, and the final version of his second ending concludes thus: “I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so, the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.”

Is the similarity in phrasing only a coincidence? Tristran and Yvaine are like Dickens’ once naive Pip and the formerly disdainful Estella. In the Stardust book the narrator even points out to us in Chapter One that at the time of his story “Mr. Charles Dickens was serializing his novel Oliver Twist (p. 5), as if alerting the readers to be on the lookout for Dickensian parallels.

Dickens’ concluding lines for Great Expectations may suggest a happy ending, with Pip and Estella united in love. But they are actually ambiguous. Just before Dickens’ final paragraph, Estella, who admitted to have been changed by her experiences, told Pip that they “will continue friends apart,” which is hardly an expression of undying love. Just because Pip “saw no shadow of another parting from her” does not mean that they will not part. Indeed, Pip, as narrator recounting his past, may be phrasing it this way to suggest that there was such a “shadow” that he ignored at the time.

Moreover, in fine tuning this ending, Dickens had previously phrased the last line this way: “I saw the shadow of no parting from her but one.” It has been suggested that this “one” shadow would be that of the inevitable parting of lovers by death. (For more about Dickens’ ending, see here and here.)

This interpretation is relevant to Stardust the book, because, in retrospect, Tristran’s failure to see his “parting” from Yvaine is ironic. As we learn in the Epilogue, “Tristran and Yvaine were happy together.” But “Not foreverafter”–as fairy tales traditionally claim at their conclusions–“for Time, the thief, eventually takes all things into his dusty storehouse,” and Tristran inevitably dies.

Death is not such a bad thing in the world of Stardust. It’s instructive to be writing about Stardust so soon after doing a column about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (see “Comics in Context” #187). (Spoiler alert through the end of this paragraph!) J. K. Rowling was insistent on the mystery and finality of death in her Harry Potter series until Harry makes his (apparent) journey to the borderline between the world of the living and the realm of the dead, where he (apparently) encounters Dumbledore’s spirit towards the end of Hallows. In Stardust the sons of the Lord of Stormhold, once they have been killed, immediately reappear as ghosts; in the movie, this is even treated as a running gag. At least for those in the realm of Faerie, death is not oblivion, so Tristran’s death in the book is not the end for him.

But Yvaine is an immortal, and Gaiman ends the book on a bittersweet note, with the description of Yvaine, still alive and still young, but parted from her true love by his death, standing “for hour after hour” at the top of her palace: “She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars.” (It’s an image something like the final, enigmatic shot of Rouben Mamoulian’s 1933 film Queen Christina, whose title character has also lost her lover and is staring out into the unknown.) She has been parted both from her true love and from the other stars. Possibly in death Tristan has become part of the infinite; Yvaine is condemned to be separate from it.

But at the end of the movie the narrator informs us that Tristan did not die, but after he and Yvaine jointly ruled Stormhold for many years, they used a magic candle to transport themselves into the heavens, where they lived as stars, presumably for eternity. So, I wonder, did Tristan achieved immortality, did he remain a very old man? Or was he somehow rejuvenated? More importantly, what does it really mean for Tristan to become a star? Did he retain his human appearance, or was he transformed into a different, sort of being?

Despite the transformation of the hero into a star, this is in essence the conventional ending of a fairy tale: the hero and heroine live happily ever after, in this case, literally forever. But the book has an unconventional ending for the genre. For one thing, the narrator cautiously implies that Tristran and Yvaine’s life together was not entirely blissful: “they were happy, as these things go, for a long while.” The narrator acknowledges that Tristran inevitably died, and that Yvaine faced a life (perhaps eternal?) of loneliness. All good things come to an end.

This is a more realistic and thought-provoking ending, befitting a fairy tale for an adult audience. Indeed, I would say that what makes Stardust the book interesting is its unconventional approach to familiar tropes of fantasy and fairy tales, while many of the changes that the movie makes push the story in a more conventional direction. This is a subject I will explore further in next week’s column.

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Monkey Talk with Paul Dini: Stuffed Animal Stand-Up with Rashy #7

Filed under: Monkey Talk,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

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-By Paul Dini & Rashy

Paul Dini’s “Monkey Talk” (co-hosted by his irrepressible sock monkey son, Rashy) returns with Rashy’s continued attempts to break into the dog-eat-dog world of Stuffed Animal Stand-Up. Be sure to check out Rashy’s official site at LittleRashy.com

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/27/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 24, 2007

QSE News: Week In Review – 8/24/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:36 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgIt is being reported that 11 extras have been injured while filming the new Tom Cruise movie, Valkyrie.  During a scene, the 11 German extras were riding in the back of a truck when a wood panel gave way causing them to tumble out.  None of the people were seriously hurt.  That being said, those Germans were lucky because, as we’ve said here TIME AND AGAIN, if you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] with Tom Cruise – like Germany tried to do a few months ago – Lord Xenu will take his mighty fist and [EXPLETIVE DELETED] you with it.  Sure, he’ll make you think everything is all cool, but right when you least expect it, he’ll swat your ass and knock it out the back of a [EXPLETIVE DELETED] truck.
  • It appears that a gun, once owned by the Evil Presley, was stolen from the Elvis After Dark museum. The theft apparently occurred as thousands of loony, mostly over-weight people descended on Memphis to “celebrate” the 30th anniversary of the death of the late pedo… er, singer. Authorities are concerned that the perpetrators will use the gun the same way that Elvis did back in the 50’s… to steal “black” music.
  • Senator Patrick Leahy, D-VT., has a role in the next Batman film. Leahy says he is a life-long fan of Batman and will donate his pay from the film to charity. Hoping to capitalize on his role, Leahy introduced legislation into congress asking for $3 billion to build a replica bat-cave under the Senate.
  • Actor Bill Murray was arrested in Sweden for drunk driving. Murray was picked up while driving a golf cart down a street in Stockholm, Sweden. Murray said he was sorry for the error in his judgment and stated that he got “a little carried away” celebrating the fact that he wasn’t Chevy Chase.
  • NBC is getting set to bring back the sports themed television classic American Gladiators.  The show, which features regular people going up against muscle bound athletes in various physical competitions, originally ran from 1989 to 1996.  The new show will feature a lot of the same physical challenges, but with updated technology and new twists.  Viewers can also expect to see some of their favorite Gladiators like Nitro and Turbo re-imagined, as well as new combatants The Cream, The Clear, Shrunken Balls and Roid Rage.
  • A new Justice League movie is being planned – but without the involvement of the current Batman and Superman actors. Christian Bale and Brandon Routh (Batman and Superman, respectively) have not been signed on to star in the film. While casting has yet to be confirmed for any of the characters, QSE News has learned that Adam West has been hitting the gym to get in shape for a “New, yet familiar, role.”
  • Fox has announced that it has canceled its new reality show Anchorwoman after only one airing. The unscripted show followed former World Wrestling Entertainment Diva Lauren Jones and her attempt to become a newscaster in Texas.  Jones released a statement to the press saying that the network didn’t give the show a chance and that she would “crush those puny Fox executives the way they crushed her dream of being a respected journalist who just happens to have killer cans and can do an Inverted Frog Splash off of the top rope. OHHHH YEAHHH!”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Nocturnal Admissions: Book Review – Close-Up 2

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:23 am

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There’s a curious moment in the recent film Paris, je t’aime.

Paris, je t’aime, you will recall, is the omnibus film about the city of light in which prominent directors celebrate the burg through stories set in each of its arrondissements. “Tuileries,” the short by the Coen Brothers is set in the Metro.

“Tuileries” opens with a shot looking down the long tracks toward a tunnel. Suddenly Steve Buscemi’s face slides into the frame from the left, first looking down at the tunnel, then turning toward the viewer, his eyes gazing into the lens in extreme Fuller-esque close-up as he looks to see if his train is on the way. There is a quick POV show of what he sees “behind” the viewer.

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Then there is a cut to a long distance view of Buscemi from the other side of the tracks. In the distance we see Buscemi as we last saw him, bent over and looking in the distance. He uncrooks himself and turns to go sit down. The camera slowly zooms or tracks in for a second. Then the story, about Buscemi as a put-upon tourist abused by the locales, begins proper.

The curious thing about the long shot is that because of the shock of the extreme close up, we are hyperaware of where the camera was in proportion to Buscemi in the previous shot. But in the long shot, there is no visible camera. If in the first shot Buscemi was looking “through the camera,” in the long shot the camera simply doesn’t exist at all. But we the viewers just saw Buscemi via its agency. Where did the camera go? The shock of the cuts puts the viewer in the peculiar position of taking everything in the film suddenly literally.

One of the main goals of commercial filmmaking in the so-called classical Hollywood era was to avoid such camera consciousness. Occasionally, the camera would move or track or pan, but almost always such movements were “invisible” in the sense that the action being photographed was so vivid that the viewer was distracted from the operation of the camera. The lens was going where the narrative demanded it be in order to continue the tale with clarity. The viewer wants to see what is going to happen next, and rides the camera obliviously. One of the repellent features of modern academic film criticism to the average reader is that it creates self-consciousness about the camera, rendering it intrusive where it was suppose to be invisible.

Thus the Coens’ shot decisions appears to be self-defeating. The viewer is “taken out of the moment,” as movie biz people like to say.

But that’s nothing new with the Coens. They have done similar things from their first film on. Who can forget the tracking shot from above a saloon bar in Blood Simple in which the camera does a little hop over a drunk passed out on his stool? But such a sharp cut as the one found in “Tuileries” raises a larger question. Who in the film is doing the looking, the character or the camera? We leap from Buscemi’s POV to, so to speak, the film’s POV. We are both in Buscemi’s head and observing him simultaneously, the one thing that film can do that no other art form can. Thus the character’s POV, literal and figurative as the film progresses, gives way to the film’s attitude to Buscemi, at once both sympathetic and objective. It’s a matter of tone, a mysterious quality that we generally associate with a director’s vision.

Tone is at the center of a new approach to film studies that is beginning to make itself felt in a wealth of excellent books and articles. Well, it’s not exactly new, really, having roots in the work of the Movie writers from the early 1960s onward. And it’s not exactly sweeping the universities, as semiology, deconstruction, and other French imports did in the 1970s. But there is already a substantial body of work representing this new approach.

This field of film studies doesn’t have an official title yet, but it easily could be called Tonal Studies. As practiced by Douglas Pye, John Gibbs, George Wilson, Susan Smith, and Deborah Thomas, Tonal Studies, to put it very crudely, approaches a work of cinematic art as a series of choices, with achievements of, or fluctuations in, tone or mood providing the foundation for those choices, which in turn serve as a close reading of the film. The existence of tone implies that there is a speaker or author behind the work, but it need not necessarily be the actual, physical real world director.

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The best introduction to Tonal Studies is the new, second issue of a Close-Up, edited by Pye and Gibbs.

A magazine-annual in book form published by the prolific Wallflower Press (and distributed in the United States via Columbia University Press), Close-Up offers film analyses based on directorial choices. “The centrality of tone to our experience of film is indisputable,” writes Pye, adding quickly that as “a means of focusing on the film’s address to the spectator it feels as though it should be indispensable to film criticism.”

The current issue sets forth some codifying ideas about Tonal Studies, first in the fascinating lead off essay by Pye, which scrutinizes tone in The Deer Hunter, Desperately Seeking Susan, Strangers on a Train, Distant Voices, Still Lives, and Some Came Running. It’s followed by Jacob Leigh’s excellent survey of three late Rohmer films, an essay that is especially good on Le Rayon vert. Finally, there is a fascinating study by Susan Smith of the unique use of the human voice in Hollywood cinema, with special emphasis on Father of the Bride, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and Random Harvest. The utility of this approach is made clear. You see how films work, and you see how meaning is embedded not just in the dialogue, but in the decor, camera movements, and even the voice, which is sometimes at odds with the ostensible meaning of a moment.

It’s a pity that the paper or the printing process itself resulted in frame enlargement illustrations that are small and hard to see, but the exactitude of the descriptive prose of the contributors compensates, since they specialize in close readings of films, often going frame by frame. The emphasis is always on the movie as art object. In his lavish treatment of Some Came Running, Pye doesn’t cite the James Jones novel whence it came, and one wonders if Minnelli’s and the screenwriters’ deviations from the book might also offer clues as to the tone the director was aiming to achieve. Pye does cite Minnelli himself, however, from his memoir, in defiance of that brand of criticism that ignores authorial intentionality. Pye’s overall reading of Some Came Running is nuanced, detailed, and sensitive to fluctuations in tone that viewers are in fact likely pick up, but on which daily reviewer types often heap ridicule.

There are other key texts in the Tonal Studies canon. One might want to start with John Gibbs’s Mise en scene, which also includes an excellent descriptive bibliography of other books and magazines that generally use this approach. Also crucial are William Rothman’s The “I” of the Camera, Susan Smith’s Hitchcock: Suspense, Humor, and Tone, and Deborah Thomas’s Beyond Genre. Pye and Gibbs earlier anthology, Style and Meaning: Studies in the Detailed Analyses of Film has an impressive array of essays by various scholars.
Aside from writing by Robin Wood, especially in his book on Hitchcock, and the other Movie writers, the key early text is Narration in Light: Studies in Cinematic Point of View, a book by philosophy professor George Wilson first published in 1986. Narration in Light contains some of the best analyses I’ve ever read of ** North by Northwest, The Searchers, and Rebel Without a Cause, among many other movies.

One of the things that intrigues me about Tonal Studies is its emphasis on directorial choices. This includes such things as where to put the camera, when to cut, and how to orchestrate the sound elements around a moment, among numerous other elements that make up a film. Different directors approaching the same material, in a remake say (Carpenter’s Halloween versus Rob Zombie’s, say), will choose different camera placements, make different edits, offer different sounds.

Yet there is a vast gulf between the tones of Hitchcock’s and Gus Van Sant’s versions of Psycho even though Van Sant replicated the original almost frame for frame, and used the same music cues. Yet Van Sant’s is odder, less realistic even though in color, campier, and in general more “gay” by making explicit the sexual identities of various characters.

Kube's Shining

Steve King's Shining

Another comparison might be between Kubrick’s The Shining, which deviates greatly from the source novel, and the TV mini-series directed by Mick Garis, a “lesser” director but one more likely to be faithful to the source. Kubrick’s film twists the material into something strangely personal, as if he were re-imagining his real life as if it had gone in a wholly different direction, while also filling it with the types of scenes he is repeatedly drawn to, such as Jack and Lloyd in the bar, supplicant and officious servant. Kubrick’s hyper-realism, of setting and acting, makes the horror elements creepier, and he likes to play with audience expectation in a way that offends the horror geek. Meanwhile, Stephen King’s The Shining, is truer to the original, but is a rather typical TV movie sort of presentation, with lots of conversational padding, post-commercial scene-setting shots, and languorous pacing. If there is a tone, it is corporate. But SK’s Shining also makes Jack’s descent into madness clearer. Nicholson, as he prepares to dine on the scenery, seems crazy from the beginning. There is no moment where he ** decides to submit to the lure of the Overlook. SK‘s delineates the process of succumbing to madness much more clearly.

Is there a correlation, I wonder, between directorial choices and the choices of the characters in the movie? Does the film’s account of a character’s major decisions dictate the handling of a film, as processed through the director’s point of view? As I think about it almost every movie pivots on a key decision by a character, after which the movie is “different.” Is that a place where “tone” resides?

Take The Godfather. At one point, Michael Corleone, the one son who has never wanted to be a part of the “family business,” visits his father in the hospital, but finds all the family’s hired guards missing. Realizing quickly that his father is being isolated so that a rival mob’s gunmen can take him out, Michael hides his father and enlists another visiting innocent to play act at being his father’s guardians, standing on the hospital’s front steps. A car pulls up. The men inside see Michael and his unwilling confederate standing in silhouette. They drive away. In the aftermath of this close call, the other visitor starts to shake uncontrollably and can’t light a cigarette. Michael lights it for him, and then gazes at his hands, as if wondering, Why can I do this and he can’t? At that moment, Michael realizes that only he can inherit the role of the Don, and in the very next sequence, icily and calmly he puts forth the plan that saves the family by taking out their opponents’ leadership. His subsequent experiences in Sicily both reinforce his ethnic roots, and give him a brief and tragic experience of marital bliss. Henceforth his trusts no one, and works coldly on behalf of his family. But it all started with that non-shaking hand.

Coppola links the film to this life changing decision by ratcheting down its warmth. Night, bridges, diners, the sound of trains all take over. This is the world Michael is entering as a consequence of his life-changing decision. There is a respite. The sunny world of Sicily offers an alternative. But it is a doomed alternative. The long hand of his enemies reaches into the sacred bed chamber and snatches away his bride. Henceforth, he is closed down, and the Family supplants the family. The world becomes gray and urban, the houses emptying as bodies fall. Suddenly the camera cannot seem to penetrate Michael’s mind as it did in the cigarette lighting scene. That Coppola was able to achieve this is amazing. He watches Michael’s identity virtually shut down.

Tonal Studies doesn’t go in for character decision making per se. It concentrates on director decision making. Bu might character decision making also be a fruitful avenue of study, especially if the two are linked? Decisions, at root, are about preserving the self. Bad decisions can derail or destroy the self. Good decisions enrich it. An enriched self is one with many identities, as Charles Schwenk shows in his book, Identity, Learning, and Decision Making in Changing Organizations, a volume that has a broad application to film studies in this area despite the fact that it is geared to corporate decision-making issues. For example, Michael Corleone had many identities: son, brother, soldier, college student, fiance. The consequence of his decision on the steps of the hospital is that he comes to concentrate on only one of his identities, impoverishing his self (though it doesn’t hinder the effectiveness of his subsequent decisions as the new Don). The decisions that the director makes to present, shade, and underscore the material of the film may follow from the richness of the characters and the decisions they make.

In the interests of tracking down more information about point of view and tone, I contacted two of the subject’s primary critics, Douglas Pye, who is also a long time contributor to Movie, and George Wilson, of Narration in Light. Both were generous with their time in answering basically the same set of 10 or so questions.

ADDED FRIDAY, 31 AUGUST: Directorial decision making is also a subject investigated with great detail by David Bordwell in his many books. But for various reasons, there isn’t much communality between those who practice tone studies and Bordwell’s work, which strikes me as curious. The debate over Bordwell’s approach to film evokes memories of the debates between psychoanalysts and Behaviorists, or philosophical attacks on Logical Positivism. Though I myself wrestle with aspects of Bordwell’s writing, I am drawn to it as much as I am to the work of the tone critics.  In any case, I’ve added this paragraph in order to provide a foundation for the questions I ask the two writers about his work.

DOUGLAS PYE INTERVIEW

For starters, I’m hoping you can give me a few words about your background.

I began, many years ago, as a teacher of English in secondary schools and moved into teacher education “¦ teaching film, alongside literature “¦ at a time when a few teacher education colleges were developing some of the first film courses in British higher education. Film gradually took over from literature in my teaching and I also gradually moved out of teacher education as the college I was working in diversified.

Were you always interested in tone in movies or did the subject evolve over the course of your studies? Was there a particular moment when you realized that all these writers were all studying tone?

Pye cover

I don’t think I was always interested in it as a distinct concept “¦ in some ways I think that I just took its importance for granted. In literary theory tone had been a very important concept (pivotal for I.A.Richards, for instance) and it was a central dimension of much of the British and American literary criticism that I’d read and been influenced by. In close reading of novels or poems you couldn’t escape tone. It was also very much part of the wider interest in narrative point of view that I developed from reading Henry James and other late nineteenth and early twentieth century fiction. When I became involved in film, these approaches and assumptions carried over to some extent. And although tone wasn’t often directly addressed as such, it was importantly there in some of the writing that influenced me when I started thinking about cinema in the mid-1960s “¦ especially Robin Wood’s early work.

It was very much later that I started to formalise my thinking about point of view in film, and even later that an interest in tone led to a series of seminars on the topic, focused on a diverse group of movies. This was part of an informal film analysis seminar for postgraduates and staff that we run in the Department of Film, Theatre and Television at Reading. John Gibbs, who co-edited Style and Meaning and now co-edits Close-Up, was a founder member of the group when he was a research student. I think the impetus in relation to tone came out the fact that so many of the approaches and concepts that had been central to traditions of interpretive textual analysis had been discarded, displaced or actively rejected in the waves of theory that dominated ‘film studies’ from the early 1970s. In the way these things invariably happen, other people also started to think about tone around this time “¦ look, for instance, at Susan Smith’s book, Hitchcock: Suspense, Humour and Tone, which actually has ‘tone’ in its sub-title.

Could you clarify the differences been tone versus point of view?

In ** Close-Up 02 I talk about this a little and deliberately don’t come to a decisive position. These are terms that we’ve evolved to talk about complex narrative effects that can’t easily be broken down into neat categories. So many of the terms we need to use, including words like ‘narration’ as well as ‘point of view’, can seem to name specific features of a movie but the more we probe them and the movie the more problematic and slippery their referents become. There’s a danger in treating analytical distinctions and concepts as though they were things in the world. I tend to use point of view as a master term for talking about the varied relationships a film implies to its action, characters, its traditions and spectator, and so tone becomes part of that. Other people take perfectly coherent positions that see tone as somewhat distinct. In fact what happens in analysis is that as you try to trace the ways in which, for instance, attitude and emotion are embodied by a film you find that they are pervasive, affected by many areas of decision-making and the interaction between them. So whatever solidity concepts like tone and point of view might seem to have had tends to dissolve. And that’s fine.

Does focusing on the director’s decision making process re-affirm, in the end, the director as author of a given film? How do we know that a particularly cogent edit wasn’t made solely by an editor, without the input of the director?

Movie making is complicated and highly collaborative “¦ by definition films made in these ways can’t be thought of as ‘authored’ in the way that a novel normally is. An approach that wants to focus on detailed decision-making doesn’t need to commit itself to a view that the director actually made all the decisions that created the film (in fact it would be pretty mad to do so). We know how crucial the contributions of writer, cinematographer, editor and so on can be. Even so, in some areas of cinema, the primacy of the director has generally been accepted (think of the recent tributes to Bergman and Antonioni). That’s not to say that even there ‘authorship’ is uncomplicated, but it’s not generally contested. The big early battles over authorship were fought about Hollywood and were very much bound up (certainly in Britain) with attitudes to popular culture. It certainly doesn’t make sense, even in polemical terms, to affirm the director as author in a blanket way. But in the case of many films I have looked at in detail I think it does make sense to treat the director as the informing intelligence, the individual who oversaw and coordinated the different areas of decision-making but who was also responsible for the often complex interrelationships between elements that demonstrate skilful planning across the varied disciplines in film production. Skilled directors make decisions significant by making them work together. Victor Perkins writes in Film as Film that ‘film is a matter of relationships’ and it’s those relationships that detailed interpretive criticism focuses on.

How does, or ultimately how could, concentrating on tone change film studies in general?

Film Studies has many strands “¦ there are lots of things going on that tone and related matters would be pretty irrelevant to. But I believe that various forms of well argued, detailed interpretive criticism need to be central to the subject and when you become involved in those activities you have to deal with matters such as tone and point of view because they force themselves on you as you experience and analyse films. The impetus behind the Style and Meaning volume and the Close-Up series was a wish to reclaim this territory. Detailed analysis also throws up quite difficult conceptual issues that need to be addressed theoretically and there’s now quite a lot of really incisive work on narration, point of view and related matters that is also responsive to the detail of films (George Wilson’s Narration in Light is a pre-eminent example “¦ in fact, philosophers are currently providing a considerable body of interesting writing on film).

What does the “average viewer” get out of tone studies? How would this approach be utilized or applicable to a regular beat reviewer?

When we all watch movies we tend to engage quite naturally with tone “¦ it’s a decisive factor in how we experience films, as it is in conversation, our reading of novels and so on. It’s also not at all uncommon for reviewers to refer to tone. It’s academic film studies that for a long time cut itself off from these matters. So writing about tone partly involves an attempt to re-connect with something we instinctively rely on as viewers and to say that, however intangible it might feel, it isn’t just ‘subjective’ and can be sensibly discussed as part of a detailed criticism.

Tone studies bear a strong continuity with ’60s-era film criticism. At this late date, what would you say was valuable in the imported French theories of film in the ’70s?

I think you now have to consider not just imported French theory (and there were several strands in that, not just one), but later developments including the work of David Bordwell and his collaborators who were very critical (productively so) of some of the 70s paradigms and approaches. The overall landscape has changed completely. There have been very important developments in systematic film history and historiography, in the formalist analysis of film style (whatever its limitations, which I think are considerable). The period of ‘grand theory’ resulted in a greater degree of self-awareness about underlying values and assumptions in the study of film. The impact of ideological analysis has been pretty pervasive, and associated approaches to representation, especially in terms of gender, which completely transformed Hollywood studies in particular. Much of this work has been very productive.

Hitch Psycho

Van Sant Psycho

It strikes me than an ideal exercise in isolating tone as an interpretive quality in a film might be a project such as comparing Hitchcock and Van Sant’s Psychos (and even perhaps the sequels that fell between them) “¦ a fruitful path toward interpretation and evaluation. Or does one even need a “compare and contrast” approach? The in depth frame-by-frame close readings of specific films and moments from films may be illuminating enough.

I’m not sure about comparing the two Psychos “¦ it could be productive but you wouldn’t know until you tried it. I’m also not sure about ‘isolating tone’. I want tone to be a central dimension of interpretation but as part of the process, part of the pattern of relationships you explore, not a thing in itself. In that sense I don’t think it can be isolated. Although certain elements of a film (such as music) seem often to have a large bearing on tone, it’s actually pervasive, a product of the dynamic relationship between many or all the decisions that make up the film. I think compare and contrast approaches can be illuminating “¦ in teaching they can sometimes make certain decisions easier for students to ‘see’. I base one chapter of the tone study on a comparison of two openings, although it’s not a process sustained through the detailed analysis. But whether a comparison is likely to prove fruitful is sometimes difficult to anticipate. I wrote some time ago about The Paradine Case and it was only in doing the detailed work that I began to see how closely it was connected in certain respects to Under Capricorn.

Unlike some of the other Movie critics you find some uses for David Bordwell’s work. Is there anything else in Bordwell’s writings that you find valuable besides a scrutiny of directorial decisions?

I touched on this earlier on. I’m not sure I directly draw on David Bordwell’s work but it’s so extensive and substantial that it’s always there as you do your own stuff. The historical work he and his collaborators did on Hollywood cinema, his systematic analyses of film style, just the range and seriousness of his writing, are very impressive. I found and still find his critiques of some “˜70s theory very helpful, and I often refer back to some of the distinctions between forms of narration in Narration in the Fiction Film. But I’m not the only one to find some fundamental problems at the heart of the work. So I’m very uneasy, for instance, about the attempt to separate “˜representation’ from “˜narration’ that underpins Narration in the Fiction Film and the pervasive attempt to think about style in almost entirely formal terms. These are part of the hostility to interpretation that Bordwell addressed directly in Making Meaning. Before that book appeared I wrote a short piece for Movie expressing some of my reservations and I still find the attempt to separate discussion of style from meaning to be logically untenable.

You contributions to Movie began with issue No. 20, when the format changes. Did you know the Movie critics in person or only as a force, and how did you all know you were compatible with each other?

I taught with Victor Perkins throughout the 1970s and when I wrote a piece on genre he encouraged me to submit it to the new format Movie that was being planned (this was 1975, I think). I then started to attend meetings of the editorial board and joined it a little later. I’d met some at least of the Movie writers before this in various ways. The Board had evolved from the very early days. Some of the original members didn’t attend meetings regularly because of commitments elsewhere and some new people (like Jim Hillier and Michael Walker) had previously been invited to join. Invitations were extended to people who were known to have at least some interests in common and who were sympathetic to what Movie stood for “¦ it was very much a matter of personal contacts.

GEORGE WILSON INTERVIEW

Narration in Light was published in 1986. This is undoubtedly too broad a question, but have there been many changes in your thought about point of view since then?

narration in light cover

I’m sure I’d want to change a lot of formulations if I went through the book systematically and thought through what I said on particular points. The large issue that I have thought and written about since N in L is this: how should the concept of audio-visual narration in fiction films be conceived? There is an article called “Le Grand Imagier Steps Out,” which is reprinted in the Carroll and Chee anthology for Blackwells, that describes my newer but still somewhat tentative views on the subject. Given those views, I am now more sympathetic to the position that almost every movie has an implicit audio-visual narrator, although, in standard films, the narrator is substantially effaced. But, whether we say that there is always such a narrator doesn’t seem to me the important question. The important question is: what is the nature of audio-visual narration in film?

How did you first come upon point of view as a subject for research?

I had written a number of the essays on particular films (e.g., the discussion of You Only Live Once) before I’d written much of anything theoretical or thought about doing a book. As I looked over those essays, it struck me that the strategies that I took to be crucial in many of these movies pertained to “˜point of view’ “¦ at least if that concept was understood pretty broadly. I began to work from that intuition.

Point of view and tone appear to be used interchangeably by other writers. How would you differentiate been tone versus point of view?

For me ‘point of view’ in film has to do with the way in which a movie systematically structures the information it offers about the development of the story. Tone has to do with the emotional resonances that a film or part of a film expresses. But, two points here. This is just my sense of how I’d be inclined to use the terminology, and I don’t want to stipulate about how the terms should be used. Also, I think matters of tone and point of view are often significantly connected. Letter from an Unknown Woman is a good example of how this is so.

In the book you are careful to avoid necessarily attributing a film’s “point of view” to a director (at least if I read Chapter One correctly), while also being careful to acknowledge their contribution and the contributions of writers. If not the director, though, then whose POV are we seeing the film through? And if no one, does that make film “impersonal”? Does intentionality matter (i.e., the intentions of the filmmakers, solely or as a team)? Or am all I mixed up?

I think the best answer to this is still found in Victor Perkins’ chapter “Direction and Authorship” in Film as Film. In cases where the strategies of point of view (or other aspects of a films significance) depend crucially on the complex interrelations between different dimensions of the cinematic presentation, then it is highly likely (but not certain) that those interrelations were chiefly worked out by the director. This leaves lots of room for crediting, even in the relevant favorable cases, the great importance of the contributions of other collaborators. Even in those cases, however, I would be hesitant about saying that we are seeing the action “˜through’ the director’s point of view. Of course, a film can be set up, like Lady in the Lake, so that we are seeing the action through the Phillip Marlowe character’s point of view. But, in that sense, we normally are not seeing the action “˜through’ anyone’s point of view in a standard film. As many people have pointed out, the concept of “˜point of view,’ like the concept of “˜meaning,’ just has too many distinct but natural interpretations. The question of the importance of intentions to interpretation is very complicated. Let me say this much. If it turned out that Fritz Lang didn’t have in mind anything like the systematic unreliability that I impute to You Only Live Once, I would be extremely surprised. Given the character of the strategies I identify, I’m inclined to credit him with intending something like what I describe. However, even if I were wrong about this, it would not mean that the movie can’t be seen in detail along the lines I try to analyze. Just that possibility seems to me very striking.

Doesn’t focusing on the director’s decision-making process re-affirm, in the end, the director as author of a given film? And conversely, how do we know that a particularly cogent edit wasn’t made solely by an editor, without the input of the director?

As I say above, the elements and structures that I highlight may or may not be the result of “˜the director’s decision making process.’ But take a case where I would be inclined to say this is true, I’m uncomfortable about saying the director is the author of the movie in question. The director’s role is still quite different from the role of a person who has authored a literary work. Even in these cases I don’t want to seem to downplay the contribution of the people who “˜authored’ the screenplay. It is true that one often enough encounters a particularly striking device (a piece of editing, for example) where one is tempted to credit it to the director, and, as you suggest, this might easily be a mistake. This is why it is so important to look at systematic interrelationships that run through the film as a whole. You can still wind up giving too much credit to the director, but I think that the probabilities decline if you don’t focus on too few elements.

The chapter on You Only Live Once strikes me as a radical rethinking of Lang. Why do you think, though, that Lang has such an appeal to film scholars?

When I first wrote on You Only Live Once, I expected to find strikingly similar strategies running through a lot of his later work. So, I thought the essay did constitute a rethinking both of the movie and of Lang’s work as a director as a whole. Doug Pye has written some important articles on other Lang films in which the concept of “˜suppressive narration’ (his phrase) plays a crucial role in the overall narrational structures. However, I’d have to admit that my essay has not turned out to be as enlightening in this regard as I originally anticipated. In any case, Lang is certainly an unusually original and rigorous director.

The book seems to follow a quasi-Wittgensteinian practice, of analyzing how a film works, and then inferring “film practice” from that. Also, on page 50, the discussion of the kinds of questions that a film can raise about its characters, also strikes me as a Wittgensteinian position. You’ve taught and written on Wittgenstein: do you see any application of his ideas to cinema studies?

Yes, I have written on Wittgenstein, and he is a marvelous philosopher, but I haven’t seen much in Wittgenstein that has struck me as specifically helpful in connection with our understanding of film. Still, there are a number of excellent people who would disagree with me about this. Stanley Cavell is one, and it may be that I’m just missing some important possibilities.

Do you think that shifting attention to tone and point of view could significantly change film studies, and if so, how?

I think that there has been something of resurgence in interest in some of these topics. Obviously, I believe that this is a good thing. It is good to think through the issues in relation to more recent films. I don’t know how much this is likely to change film studies, but, of course, there are lots of perfectly valid projects that film studies quite properly encompasses. Overall, I would like to see a more careful deployment of argument and evidence in film discussions of all sorts. This just reflects, I guess, my training in analytic philosophy.

What does the “average viewer” get out of tone studies? And how could this approach be utilized or applicable to a regular beat reviewer or popular journalists?

I’ve been teaching for a lot of years, and naturally one gets a variety of responses from the “˜average’ and “˜not so average’ viewers in that setting. But a fair number of students are quite struck in a positive way by the fact that movies can have such a surprising richness and complexity. Some say, “I never would have dreamt that so much could be going on “¦ especially in a Hollywood film.” I also believe that for many these movies serve as case studies for the delicate ways in which our perception of a course of action can be affected by what we do and do not notice and by the way in which we process the information we gain. Still, I have to admit that other students find such analyses boring and fussy. There can be a real resentment at the idea that mere entertainments are getting over intellectualized in this way. One hopes that the analyses get people to see the movie in a notably different way, and then one hopes that they enjoy the perceptual shift.

Tone studies bear a strong continuity with ’60s era film criticism, and certainly seems like an endeavor that is much more fruitful and more interesting to read. At this late date, what would you say was valuable in its competing approaches, the imported French theories of film in the ’70s?

I suppose that the rise of theory in the 70’s brought a useful self-consciousness about theoretical and political commitments that were sometimes implicitly presupposed in certain interpretative projects. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of sympathy with most of the theoretical commitments that were favored during the period. But, that is a very long and familiar story. I also don’t believe that there is a coherent cognitivist account that I can endorse, although I feel much closer to a range of cognitivist researchers. Maybe this is a point where I have been influenced by Wittgenstein “¦ suspicious of the idea that fruitful theoretical frameworks are to be found very readily. I don’t have an argument for such a suspicion. It is probably a matter of my gut sense of the nature of the questions that interest me most.

Would an ideal exercise in isolating point of view as an interpretive quality in a film be to compare Hitchcock and Van Sant’s Psychos (and even perhaps the sequels that fell between them)? Or does one even need a “compare and contrast” approach, since the in-depth frame-by-frame close readings of specific films and moments from films may be illuminating enough?

It might be interesting to compare Hitchcock’s Psycho and Van Sant’s. I really just don’t know. I certainly do think that there is a range of comparisons and contrasts that one might carry out, but you can be concerned with a vast number of narrative and narrational parameters, and they will set the agenda for the comparative work you want to do. In one article, I compare Murder My Sweet with Fight Club because they both employ sequences in which we are shown certain narrative action taking place from an impersonal point of view where the sequences in question employ images that reflect the specific mode of perceptual experience of one of the key characters. It’s hard to know in advance just what range of films one would need to examine.

Your chapter on You Only Live Once also seems to suggest that movies do merit, require “interpretation,” contra the popular impression of Bordwell’s work. Bordwell seems to be something of a bete noire among writers on tone and point of view. Yet he seems to be in the same ball park, at least as far as scrutinizing directorial decision making. What do you find valuable in Bordwell’s writings?

I think that Bordwell’s anti-interpretative stance has been unfortunate and not in the end defensible. I have written at some length on this in the past (in the anthology on film and analytic philosophy edited by Allen and Smith for Oxford.) However, there is a great deal that I have found valuable in Bordwell’s various writings, and I really don’t know where to begin in making a list. He is a very important figure. I certainly envy him his vast knowledge of the history of film.

Trailer Park: DEATH SENTENCE

Filed under: Columns,Interviews,Quickcasts,Trailer Park,Video — admin @ 12:16 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

I’ll be upfront about it: it was a really nice breakfast.

Atop a pavilion, overlooking San Diego’s convention center and the trickling of the faithful waiting to get an early jump on the festivities, the intimate breakfast that was hosted to introduce the day’s events for Fox Atomic’s DEATH SENTENCE held the kind of curiosity I could not resist.

Here was a director, James Wan, known for his viscous visuals with the original that started a mega franchise, SAW, the likes of which no one was expecting to happen, and had continued on that trend with his other notable film, DEAD SILENCE before landing on a project that is slightly askew of what people would be expecting next.

The film delves into the kind of revenge convention that spans generations and continents and it was, honestly, the first time I saw a trailer that got me excited about a Kevin Bacon movie since THE WOODSMAN and reinvigorated my belief that a balls-out action film can’t hold a candle to kinetic action if it’s done with a sense of purposeful film making. I could be wrong on all sorts of levels, of course, but from the footage that I saw prior to the interview I was struck by the way Wan has taken the action convention and twisted it just enough to have the sense that there is something at stake for all involved. It’s no longer just one person against the world but what happens when that one person just gives in for once into the restorative power of getting a little payback.

The interviews themselves lend more credence to the idea that this is really a new interpretation of the trope which suggests the what if of a man taking things into his own hands and is really driven to take things to their ultimate end. James Wan couldn’t have been more open and eager to talk about the major things which drove him through the production of the film and Garrett Hedlund was equally engaging talking about what he did in order to find that space where he no longer was just the pretty faced love interest in GEORGIA RULE and had to be the guy that everyone loves to hate.

DEATH SENTENCE opens August 31st. See it and experience the vengeful love.

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Clip #1: James Wan talks about the evolution from horror to dramatic action and what he felt should be the essence of the picture.

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Download SDCC Death Sentence Interview #1 – James Wan:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 65.41 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 29.03 MB)

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Clip #2: Garrett Hedlund spins a yarn about achieving a real sense of badass-ness in this film while reflecting on his experience in the picture.

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Download SDCC Death Sentence Interview #2 – Garrett Hedlund:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 83.27 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 36.27 MB)

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Weekend Shopping Guide 8/24/07: Written By Manatees

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

The release of a new volume in Fantagraphics’s beautiful presentations of the The Complete Peanuts is greeted with both joy and impatience, as I can’t wait to tear into each new entry and view strips that – 9 times out of 10 – I’ve never seen before. Not to mention the ability to watch Charles Schulz’s strip grow and evolve, as characters are introduced, and mainstays are mere babes of innovation. The latest volume, covering the period from 1965-1966 (Fantagraphics, $28.95 SRP) introduces a pair of landmarks – Snoopy’s epic doghouse battles with the Red Baron, and a lass named Peppermint Patty. Brilliant reading, and a must have.

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With the release of the complete 10th season of South Park (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP), the DVD sets have finally caught up with the first run airings, as we’re currently halfway through the show’s 11th season. The 10th season featured the kids’ memorable addiction to World of Warcraft, the brutal death of Chef, the skewering of Family Guy, the mystery of the urinal deuce, hell on Earth, and more. The 3-disc set features all 14 episodes, plus the usual mini-commentaries from Matt & Trey.

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It may be hard to justify the purchase of yet another release of Jim Henson’s 80’s classics The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth (Sony, Rated PG, DVD-$24.96 SRP each), but they have managed to sweeten the pot to a degree that another purchase certainly is in order. First and foremost, both films are treated to brand new high definition transfers (if only Disney would get off their asses and give us that with Henson’s Muppet movie library). In addition, Brian Froud has been brought in to do new commentaries for both flicks, and there are brand new documentaries to supplement the vintage documentaries that have been ported over from the previous releases. All in all, a worthy upgrade.

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It’s taken its sweet time coming to DVD, but comedy fans can rejoice now that Rowan Atkinson’s still-hilarious Rowan Atkinson Live! (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$19.95 SRP) has finally arrived on the little shiny disc. Not only do we get the special itself, but 3 additional bonus sketches to boot.

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No matter how dowdy, bespeckled, bespectacled, and braced they make America Ferrera in Ugly Betty (Buena Vista, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP), I still think she’s the most beautiful thing on screen. Maybe it’s because her Betty has a genuine personality, and it shines through in this – for all intents and purposes – TV version of The Devil Wears Prada. Check out the complete first season and see if you don’t agree with my assessment. The 6-disc set features all 23 episodes, plus audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and more.

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Hugh Laurie’s Dr. Gregory House returns in the 3rd season of House (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), which arrives with a whole bevy of rare and exotic diseases and maladies to make even the dysfunctional doc delighted at all the challenges he’s able to tackle. The 5-disc set features all 24 episodes, plus commentaries, featurettes on props and the soundtrack, a breakdown of the episode “The Jerk”, a look at the production office, a gag reel, and more.

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HBO’s epic journey back to the politics and intrigue of ancient Rome (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) reaches a too-quick conclusion with its 2nd (and final) season. It’s a shame that such an epic canvas as this was scuttled – along with Deadwood – in favor of overly-pretentious, unintelligible fare like John From Cincinnati. Still, take your final toga turn with this 5-disc set, featuring all 10 episodes, plus audio commentary on five episodes, historical and behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

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Criminally overlooked when it hit theaters a few months back, Unaccompanied Minors (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$28.98 SRP) deserves a second chance. Directed by Paul Feig, the creator of Freaks and Geeks, it’s a fun little tale about a group of minors left unattended when a snowstorm closes the airport they’re in, mid-transit. Just trust e – check it out for yourself. Bonus features include an audio commentary, additional scenes, featurettes, and more.

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I’m really not too big fan of procedurals, but I know there are plenty of fans of the cases undertaken by the lawyers of the military’s Judge Advocate General courts, dramatized in – you guessed it – JAG (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$64.99 SRP). The 6-disc fourth season set features all 24 episodes, plus a gag reel.

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After being booted by the band, Monkees producer Don Kirshner was brought in to pick songs for another fully fictional band – only this time, there was no chance that the artists would rebel. That’s because Kirshner was recording Archie and Jughead for their Saturday morning animated soon-to-be-hit, The Archies (Classic Media/Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP). Their first radio hit was “Sugar Sugar”, and you can view the original context in this complete collection of The Archie Show, with interviews, galleries, an interactive jukebox, and more.

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Dexter (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) is easily one of the most unique shows on TV, as it follows the life and work of Dexter Morgan who – after being orphaned as a young boy – is adopted by a police officer who recognizes homicidal tendencies in young Dexter, and decides to teach him how to channel those tendencies into tracking down and killing the perpetrators of heinous crimes who have slipped through the cracks. As an adult, Dexter is a member of the police force, using his access to lead a double life – all the while creating a façade as a caring human being in his day job, expressing emotions he doesn’t feel. Truly a fascinating concept, and worth a spin. The 4-disc set features all 12 first season episodes, plus behind-the-scenes featurettes, audio commentaries, and more.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/24/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 23, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/23/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Tom Lehrer sings a song of pollution… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 22, 2007

Scrubs Blog: My Magic Forest

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:21 am

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VIDEO BLOG #85: “My Magic Forest” ““
Season 7 keeps rolling along, but since most of that would be far too spoilery at this juncture, how about a magical interlude from Season 6, as we journey to the enchanted forest of episode 6×19, “My Cold Shower”.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #85:

 

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Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 30.70 MB)
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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 8/22/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:36 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • “I said ‘No’ meaning ‘Yes’!”… (Thingamabob)
  • “Hey Larry! Where’s the forklift?”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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August 21, 2007

Game On! 8-21-2007: BIOSHOCK indeeed…

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 4:03 pm

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few weeks, it’s this: Never Promise Anything. Yes, I know, I was supposed to have a podcast (or two) by now. I was all set to do GAME ON! GOES TO THE MOVIES, when both I and my cameraman/editor Bob realized that, since those games had been out MONTHS ago, and were all mediocre (I won’t bore you with what they were specifically, but yes, they were) it wasn’t worth it to do the podcast unless I had stuff I really wanted to talk about. Hence, why there still hasn’t been one.

HOWEVER (I say this in all caps) the fall game season is definitely shaping up to be a time where we may see me finally have passion about games again. Still, as you can see, you’re reading so”¦yeah, no moving pictures just yet.

What we do have is a look at one of the best (and most anticipated) shooters of the season, out today on Xbox 360 and PC. Sure, it’s only one review for this column”¦but what a game it is”¦

SHOCKING

bioshockbox.jpgAs many of you know, I’m not a huge FPS fan. Yes, I’ll play the occasional shooter, but as a standard, they’re not my favorite genre. Well, if they’d all play like BIOSHOCK, I might just change my tune. Without a doubt, BIOSHOCK is this year’s most compelling, engaging, fully-immersive single player experience yet for the next generation. Actually, I’m sure you’ve read that by now”¦but here’s why”¦

As the only survivor of a plane crash into the Atlantic, you manage to swim your way to a mysterious lighthouse, which transports you below the surface to Andrew Ryan’s utopia (or is that dystopia) of Rapture; a secret city beneath the sea. What was intended to bring about a second age of man, sadly, due to far too much genetic enhancements for the citizens, quickly becomes over run, run down, and scarred, a shambles of it’s former glory. Folks who’ve messed with their genetic code too much (known as Splicers) now roam the halls of Rapture, seeking out ADAM, the newly created stem cells found within a sea parasite that allows for genetic enhancement. ADAM is usually harvested from the dead by creatures known as Little Sisters; zombie like children protected by giants in dead sea gear known as Big Daddies. In order to progress, you must harvest the ADAM from the Little Sisters (or rescue them, if you can) and find your way out of Rapture before Andrew Ryan (or the city itself) kills you.

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ADAM is the source of your new powers, such as Plasmids, biological modifications that allow you to augment your body with an array of powers. Fueled by EVE, a serum that fuels your forces, you can send electricity flying from your fingertips, burn folks from a distance with fire, levitate and pull objects towards you (or push them away) with telekinesis and more. As you progress, you gain new Plasmids, as well as the ability to modify them. From the power to enrage your foes into attacking each other instead of you, to sending swarms of hornets from your very veins, to even convincing a Big Daddy that you are no threat, you can do it all with just a little shot to the arm.

But supernatural powers aren’t all your weapons. In fact, there are much more standard ways to fight. Pistols, shotguns, and more can be found below the surface with which to do battle with the denizens of the deep. As you continue on your journey, you can buy more ammo at vending machines (or hack into them to get a reduced price) or even invent your own brand of ammunition at U-Invent kiosks. Tonics enhance your other abilities too, such as how much health a certain item can give you, or how well you can hack into security cameras, safes and more.

It’s not all guns blazing and powers flying, however. BIOSHOCK features one of gaming’s most compellingly deep narratives, that keeps the player going through Rapture, rather than just fighting endless streams of foes. The story motivates you, as you initially intend to save the family of the man who helped you through your first encounter in Rapture; a man named Atlas whom you only get radio transmissions from. As you watch the undersea world in it’s now shambled form, you realize there’s so much more of a big picture, and your quest isn’t so much about saving yourself and Atlas’ family, but everyone in Rapture. Or is it?

BIOSHOCK would be nothing without it’s story pacing. With no cut scenes, all story elements are told in-game, such as with conversations with NPCs, or through found audio diaries lying around. The game’s graphics, however, really transport the player through this world. The art-deco style, trashed through years of genetic splicing, is beautiful and horrifying at the same time. What once was clearly a thriving community, now lies in ruin, and the game showcases that beautifully. From the leaking pipes overhead, water cascades down into your vision with some of the best water effects seen today. The Splicers themselves are a sight too”¦with horrid modifications and deep AI keeping you constantly on your toes. Set them on fire, they seek out water, shoot, and they seek cover. It’s truly the single player experience 360 owners have been waiting for.

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Everything about this game SCREAMS “next-gen”, from its presentation and story to just how the game plays. Switching between Plasmids and weapons with ease, gaining health items (there is no item screen, just a few HUD items when needed), and selecting different ammo types on the fly couldn’t be simpler. This is the thinking man’s FPS, not quite a hybrid of FPS and RPG, but enough story elements to almost have you convinced otherwise.

It will be tough to see how long the joy of playing BIOSHOCK will last once HALO 3 is released. The game’s box lists downloadable content, but 2K Games haven’t said what will be available yet. Still, as far as single player experiences, this one is not to be missed. HALO may have the multiplayer advantage, but nothing is a deep, as moving, as horrifying, as stunning, or simply as cool as BIOSHOCK. A Must Buy.

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Ratings From Greatest to Least:

Kick Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (aka CRAPTACULAR)

 

Party Favors: Mayberry Joe

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

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MANTEO, NC – The hunt for Andy Griffith is on. Sniff the air. There’s a touch of Mayberry amongst the salt.

We’ve arrived on this small island next to the Outerbanks to see the man who changed the world. We’re not stalking him. It would be so easy to camp out in front of his gated driveway. But that’s just wrong and would make us look like tourists. Instead, we crouch near the Ritz cracker aisle in the Piggly Wiggly. You know Andy loves his Ritz. There’s no way he can avoid us. Softly I whistle the theme to Matlock. He’ll be here soon.

After a week of opening to closing shopping, a store employee tells me that Andy hasn’t been around in a while. He’s in Waitress and is getting back into the acting game. We buy a box of Ritz Crackers and leave it by his mailbox as an offering to the icon. He’ll be hungry when he returns from Hollywood.

BUTCHIE, COME HOME!

How could they cancel John From Cincinnati? It was on the verge of making sense. During our time on the sand, my posse kept quoting John while on the waves. “I’ve got my eye on you!” “I don’t know, Butchie.” “Get back in the game, Mitch Yost.” “Did you dump out this morning?” Who knew this show was so damn catchy? And now after 10 episodes, it’s gone. But for those of us who wondered what would happen if Dylan took on Zack with Charlie Moore as the ref, we almost had it.

I’m still not sure if I liked John, but I’ll miss trying to figure out if I like it.

Well at least there’s a new season of Weeds on Showtime. And let’s not forget Californication. I think the show has a story about David Duchovny as writer. There was just so much boob action on the screen. There were more exposed breasts in that 30 minutes than the last 2 seasons of The L Word. Duchovny has returned to his Red Shoe Diaries roots.

CHECK OUT TIME

The nice part about the beach was a chance to check out Bravo. Amazing how in one weekend, you can see the last 2 months of original programming on the channel. Except when they run marathons of Major League. There new two hyped reality shows seem way too staged for their own good.

Welcome to the Parker is about a swanky and funky hotel in Palm Springs. The place used to be Gene Autry’s house and an original Holiday Inn. The first few episodes are a bit too unrealistic. They producers seem to be creating a cheaper version of Hotel without having to book character actors.

They line up four different plots that pay off at the end of the hour. It’s too cute. There was one episode dealing with a mysterious guy who keeps ordering loads of ice from room service. The guy hides under blankets as the room service guy fills the tub with ice. This goes on periodically through the show. It ends with the guy giving a $100 tip, but he never really appears on camera. It seems like they reenacted a story the room service guy told the producers. It’s easy to figure out that the guest had plastic surgery and was using the ice to recover.

Another thing had the manager of the hotel having a ping pong game with the hotel’s designer over letting dogs stay in the rooms. What are the odds that would have happened without the cameras?

Flipping Out follows a psychotic guy who flips houses. I swear this guy was the basis of the neighbor in Disturbia. He’s OCD and all about his pets. He also has a lot of spiritual weirdness going on. He has mystics purify his homes. The dramatics in his crew seem normal since he only hires drama queens. He has an assistant and then has two assistants who do the stuff the assistant refuses to do like clean turds from the litter box. I’d be more excited if he had to get Tanya Memme to help him sell a house.

Bravo seems to promise so much, but the channel just clunks on way too many days. On a Friday all they have scheduled is The Exorcist, Exorcist II, some promotional thing about Flash Gordon, Basic Instinct, Carlito’s Way and The Untouchables. That’s not a TV channel. That’s leftovers in Tupperware. I don’t need AMC Jr on my digital box. I’m not calling my cable company until Bravo brings it every day.

BRAIN DEAD

Andrew Keen, the author of The Cult of the Amateur: How today’s Internet is killing our culture really needs to write a follow up book called The Lengths of Poles that Fit Nicely Up My Ass. What makes him so great? Because he was able to able to sucker a publisher into buying his rant? Does anyone really want to read 228 pages? That’s a lot of time that could be spent downloading fresh internet porn from the amateur naked model at ellinude.com. She’s hotter than those whore painted, knife and silicone creations at Vivid Video. Can you really masturbate to the latest version of Jenna Jameson? She looks like what Joan Rivers imagines herself as.

Keen is completely off base when he says that you’re better off getting advice about music from record store clerks instead of your online musical pals. Is he serious? After the death of John Swain, the owner of the Record Hole; I have yet to encounter a single record store clerk that has any taste. Most modern record store clerks don’t seem to give a crap about talking to customers. They sit behind the counter, eating pizza and playing music to scare the squares out of the store. These guys have taken customer service lessons from Jack Black. Ask them a question? Why bother? You think the girl behind the counter has a clue about Herman’s Hermits? She’s there because the manager wants to scrogg her. Way to pick experts, Keen-o.

This guy doesn’t seem to know that things sucked before the internet took over. The internet didn’t bring us Hootie and the Blowfish or Yakov Smirnov. I bet if we investigate history, we’ll find a handwritten essay from a monk declaring that Gutenberg’s printing press will ruin society.

Andrew Keen is a professional – a professional killjoy. This man comes from the same country that gave us Simon Cowell. Haven’t we had enough of the English? Isn’t time we renew our 1776 action and dump them into Boston Harbor one more time? Remember that it was a bunch of amateurs who took up arms and defeated the mighty professional British army. We don’t need to listen to these people. If they knew that much, we’d still be eating crumpets and think that toothpaste is overrated. Do you want to live in a society that worships Camilla Parker Bowles as their next semi-Queen? His culture has given us Peter and Jordan. I still haven’t a clue why this duo has a reality show. Benny Hill died for England’s sins. How dare Andrew Keen do a superiority dance around us.

Maybe Keen will want to read my book The Cult of the English: How Today’s Brits are Sucking the Fun Out of Our Culture. This is not to be confused with my upcoming tome The Lethal Price of Nostalgia: How Today’s Living in the Past Has Destroyed Dreams of Tomorrow. Colbert, schedule me now before I actually start writing it.

GLICK NICK….

Why has Fox hitched its Business Channel’s fate on Alexis Glick? For the past year she’s been hailed as their stealth weapon whenever there’s been news about the launch. The former CNBC gal is supposed to destroy her old bosses. She’s the Eric Lindros of Wall Street reporters according to the hype.

When she substituted for Neil Cavuto on FoxNews, Glick sucked the life out of the show. She is not Fox News Material. She not nearly as striking as most of the Foxy News Women. She doesn’t sizzle. If Fox is the Red Bull of newscasters, she’s a really weak lemon-flavored water. She’s easy on the eye, but doesn’t draw you in. She does not command attention when she speaks. There’s no character to her voice. Listen to the other Foxy Newscasters. She doesn’t rank. According to unnamed sources, her voice isn’t easily heard by old people (a major viewing block for Fox). She’s doesn’t measure up against Rebecca Gomez and Jane Skinner.

During her time on Cavuto’s show, she nearly disappeared during the panel discussions. Guests talked with barely an interruption from the host. That’s a Fox no-no. And Glick committed a Cardinal sin when she allowed a guest to promote Bank of America stock as a hot buy. Doesn’t she understand that Cavuto has spent six months pumping up the torch and pitchfox crowd to lynch Bank of America? It’s not like last year when he called off his attacks on AARP after they started advertising on his show. It’d be like her going on John Gibson’s Big Picture and allowing guests to promote eliminating Christmas as a school vacation day without mocking them. Read the memos, Glick. Get with the Fox Program!

What’s really uncomfortable is when she botched a guest’s last name. She channeled Mary Tyler Moore’s breakdown voice when she begged forgiveness. Who wants a fear of that happening during a breaking quarterly report. She might as well do a Lucy “waahhhh” to make us cringe even more.

It’s easy to see that Fox is going to have a Katie Couric situation when the new business channel hits the satellites. She’s not an on-camera all star. Glick is the perfect fill in hostess on The Today Show since she isn’t threatening to a regular host’s job.

And is it creepy that Cavuto seems to promote Glick like his Captain of Industry buddies pimp their trophy wives? Gentlemen, wag your tongues!

NEWSIE TO WATCH

Michelle Kosinski on MSNBC is a reporter to watch in the field. Even though her breaking news interrupted my regular programming, I was impressed instead of cranky. She better be fast tracked on the food chain.

MESSAGE TO JOHN GIBSON

How dare John Gibson mock Jon Stewart’s emotions after 9/11. It’s disgusting to see the host of Fox’s Big Story be such a dick. But he does work for an organization that attempted to trademark “9/11.” If he was eaten by a shark, I’d feel bad that the shark had ingested a cancer causing agent.

We don’t mock Gibson’s defense of Christmas even though there are plenty of whispers on the internet that he belongs to a major Satanic cult.

During the same show, John Gibson claimed that America needs another 9/11 to set things right. Why does John Gibson want another 3,000 Americans to die? So he can have a hot topic on his TV? Gibson needs to volunteer himself and his family to be among the victims of his desired catastrophe. Maybe they should just take his family on a bicycle tour of Iraq.

HOT NEW SURGERY

According to my sources at a major Beverly Hills plastic surgeon’s office, this fall’s hot new procedure is a “Taint Lift.” About 30 patients a week are requesting them. “The ladies want to feel a tightness between the holes,” my unnamed source confided.

SCALP ME

According to Stubhub, the hottest college football ticket this year is DeVry vs. University of Phoenix.

PROJEKT REVOLTION

They call this music?

I made a deal with the devil by agreeing to do sound for a Myspace/Live Nation “live” broadcast of Linkin Park’s Projekt Revolution tour. Why did I think working for Fox and Clear Channel’s bitch project would be a good thing? First off, this deal was screwed. I only got the job because the Myspace weasels didn’t want to pay for a real sound guy. They merely wanted a PA who would hold the boom microphone and maybe twist a knob. They wanted PAs for the shoot, but they didn’t want to pay them. While I am the Creepy PA, I’m also a PA that likes to earn a few bucks for working a gig.

I’ll do a charity show if asked. But Fox’s News Corp and Clear Channel are not poverty cases. Although both of those companies have done their best to impoverish our culture.

My job during the shoot was to follow Myspace Superstar Metal Sanaz as she mingled with concert goers. She has over half a million friends on Myspace. I currently have 50. But my friends include the gals from HBO’s Cathouse, Bob Saget, George Takei and the ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly. Plus there’s that Tom guy. I’ve got quality friends.

Sanaz has hung out with Tom. This means Tom isn’t that good of a friend to me. I’m hurt that Tom doesn’t give a crap about me as a friend. He’s the one who put himself on my page as a friend. Lying bastard.

How did Sanaz have half a million friends? She has a street team. A street team? I don’t have a street team. And I’m thinking this is a good thing since I’d hate for them to decide to work I-95. Nothing would be worse than my team of streeters getting run over by the Bimbo Bakery truck. Who needs a street team for the information super highway? I’d fear seeing my cyber-street team chief appearing on TV. “Talk? What can you possibly talk about with a 14 year old girl at this hour?” Hansen would ask. “This week’s amazing Party Favors column, Chris!”

For those curious, Sanaz was full of energy as she did comic bits around the concert area that were supposed to be inserted into the “live” broadcast. She wore a very nice corset that got a lot of folks asking to hug her. And she didn’t mind hugging – especially the dozens of fans that were her Myspace friends. The corset proved to be a problem since it was over 100 degrees in the parking lot that had been set up with the second stage. Every so often she’d get soaked in the shower tent. We also took plenty of breaks. Luckily one of those breaks was during Placebo’s set.

This was the only band on the bill that I wanted to see. I’m not a big fan, but they were in Velvet Goldmine. The plus side of this gig was my “working” band pass. Those puppies are gold at a venue. Instead of just standing in the back of the venue, I marched into the pit. All the Live Nation ticket nazi flunkees had to step aside when I pointed at the magic pass. It was like giving them the middle finger as I stormed their checkpoints.

But there would be no finger for Placebo. They gave a great 35 minute set. Shame it was in broad daylight. They need a bit of darkness around them. Contrary to your mother’s fears, the pit itself was extra calm. You’ll be bashed around more in a ecstasy people puddle. The kids around me didn’t quite know what to make of the band. Too many of them were there for Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance. One moppet wore a “My Chemical Romance saved my life” t-shirt. Really? I don’t think a band has ever saved my life. There was the time Dana Kletter of the blackgirls made sure a roadie from Hole didn’t kick my ass during an afterparty.

Placebo seemed to be the only band that day that didn’t just suck. The second stage bands were just noise. Being the king of the noise guitar from my feedback antics in the BeatlesS, I feel bad debasing this new music. But not once did I say, “I need to get this record.” I didn’t even think about illegally downloading their songs. They were just horrible. The final band on the stage was Mindless Self Indulgence. They reminded me way too much of Oingo Boingo if Danny Elfman didn’t try to be too smart for the room. The lead singer reminded me of a character from Zippy the Pinhead. The constant barrage of bad noise wore on me as I kept trying to work sound on Sanaz. It felt like a nightmare as I kept adjusting knobs while keeping my boom out of the shot.

At the end of the day, it turned out that standing in the humid heat listening to all that crappy racket was a complete waste of time.

While things sounded OK while recording them in the field, when they downloaded the video onto the computer, the audio tracks were muck. Turns out that when you are near a speaker pile that’s blasting out crap, you can’t really mix it out. It also doesn’t help that instead of ordering a shotgun microphone which allows isolation to the person speaking near the boom, they had merely ordered a cardioid mic. This means that no matter where I placed my boom, I was screwed. The sound stage would leak onto the track. The director was furious that somehow this elevated space monkey didn’t twist enough knobs to get pure monkey chow. It also didn’t help that people kept screaming near the microphone. I had the level set for Sanaz’s speaking voice, but the roar blew out the levels. It is hard to hold a boom with two hands and mix sound with my third hand. Live sound under such conditions is a two person job and one of them really does need to be a fully paid sound guy with experience mixing at concerts.

The disgusted director gave me the look as if I was somehow supposed to cringe and beg for mercy. He acted as if I somehow give a crap about my career as a sound guy. My only thought as I looked into his fuming eyes was, “You went cheap and you paid for it.” He didn’t want a real sound guy. They were paying me about a third what a real sound guy cost for a day’s rental. And they got a third of the quality.

Unlike my normal response which is to immediately shout back “Listen, you cheap ass bastard – you didn’t ask for a real sound guy. Go F’ yourself, lil Michael Bay!” But I was nice and just handed my sound equipment over to another PA. It’s not like this dork would understand that he set himself up to fail. If sound mattered that much, they would have put it in the budget instead of thinking they could work around it.

If we were recording on a silent soundstage, I probably would feel like shit for what ended up as audiotracks. But what the hell do you do when you’re stuck on a concert field with a boom microphone. And a body microphone would have been a waste since half the time Sanaz was going into the shower tent to cool off.

After 12 hours in the hell hole called Projekt Revolution, I went home. The director will probably declare that I left in shame, but I split from a sham.

I hope production sound engineers understand what I did for them that day. You know what the Revolution of that Projekt was? Reminding a cheapskate producer/director that if you want a real sound guy, you better be willing to pay for a sound guy and not think you can fake it. Cheapass Tom, you are no longer my real friend at Myspace.

DO THE STRAND

Upon returning home, Netflix has delivered Roxy Music Live at the Apollo from their 2003 tour. Musically, this was a hot bath and a full body massage to my ears. Smooth and soulful music came from the speakers. Bryan Ferry didn’t go on about mothers and fathers fucking to the audience. The man has class. And if you’re listening to a Roxy Music record, odds are good that you’ll be getting laid.

Why aren’t Roxy Music in the Rock Hall of fame? Why aren’t we in a world where we can be sick of hearing Roxy Music?

NO JACK FOR EDDIE

The big talk from the venue employees was the upcoming Van Halen reunion tour.

Do not call it a Van Halen reunion. What’s going on tour this summer is a reunion of Eddie, Alex and David Lee Roth. But how dare they consider it a Van Halen reunion by replacing Michael Anthony with Eddie’s teenage son. Contrary to Eddie’s ego, Michael Anthony was the heartbeat of the band.

Back when Van Halen mattered, we would make fun of Michael Anthony. He was the odd man out on the stage. He kept his shirt on during the videos. He was husky with a beard. He wore the jumpsuits that made it look like he was an elevated roadie. We figured his way of picking up groupies was by saying, “You know, I’m in the band, too. Did you see me on stage? No. I wasn’t the guy who said, ‘Check one. Check one.'” He was the Rodney Dangerfield of hard rock.

Part of this blame was that Michael Anthony came along during a time when bass worship went to Geddy Lee of Rush, John Entwistle of The Who, Chris Squire of Yes and Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy. Being kept on the fringe of the stage by his three bandmates, Michael Anthony looked like the lesser talent . We thought he was replaceable like a drummer in Spinal Tap. We were so wrong about him.

Over the years, Michael Anthony’s stock has grown. The man did serious work on those records. Like Entwistle, his bass was the rhythm guitar that allowed Eddie to go nuts. His background vocals made sure Diamond Dave didn’t sound like a complete screech. Plus we discovered he was the only person on that stage that wasn’t a complete prick. He was the guy who would have pounded down shots of Jack with us after the show. And he wouldn’t turn into a mean and bitter drunk. And as the sun rose and we crawled to a cab, we would have said, “We just partied with Michael Anthony” without it sounding like a consolation prize.

And so at this time, Party Favors would like to apologize to Michael Anthony for thinking he was the weakest link in Van Halen. We now know that there’s no such thing as a true Van Halen reunion without him and his Jack Daniels bass. Even though the band is playing a few dates in the area, we’re not going. We’re not tempted. David Lee Roth’s painful vocals from his tour with Sammy remind us that he just doesn’t have it anymore. Diamond Dave makes Tom Waits sound like an opera star. And who knows what Eddie will do without a buffer of booze and pills to insulate himself from Dave. We’re not paying $100 to see a trainwreck. Amtrak provides those for free.

Michael Anthony, if you knock on my door, I’ll break out a bottle of Jack. Cause you’re worth it.

SACK LUNCH

While watching No Reservations, Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmer went to a place in Queens that served all the nasty bits of animals. They seemed delighted in their meal. How come you never hear a host of a freak eating show say, “These are great Mountain Oysters. Shame my wife isn’t here so she can tell me if they taste as good as my balls.”

Would that get you kicked off the Food Channel?

FINK NEWS

Why all the reporting of news organizations reaction to various political news? Do I care that the Seattle Times cheered Karl Rove splitting the White House? Then Joe Scarborough outs his own MSNBC colleges for supposedly booing during the president’s State of the Union address He said, “there were actually people in the newsroom that were booing the president actually from the beginning to the end.” Really? I doubt people at Yankee stadium can boo that hard for that long. Did they rotate they booing, Joe? We’re they foghorn booing? Was there a raspberry? Did anyone throw a beer at the screen? Did Joe stand at attention the entire time with his hand over his heart?

I heard a high placed reporter at the Party Favors farted when it was announced that the deputy undersecretary for the creation of committees that need secretaries had formed a subcommittee into creating a new brainstorming session title. Disgusting!

Just remember all you folks at MSNBC that Joe Scarborough is a fink and will rat you out to get an inch of ink. And isn’t it bad taste for a newspaper reporter to applaud a guy who is entering unemployment? What are the odds that the Times staff won’t get slashed in the near future and be in the cheese line behind Karl?

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