FRED Entertainment

October 3, 2007

Win The Second Season of The Unit!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 5:39 am


In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re celebrating the DVD release of the complete second season of THE UNIT by giving away 4 copies of the feature-laden box set.

All you have to do to enter is fill out the entry form below”¦

Contest ends at midnight EST on Friday, October 5th.

Contest closed. Thanks for playing.

Scrubs Blog: A Guided Tour – Part 3

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:54 am

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VIDEO BLOG #90: “A Guided Tour – Part 3″ ““
The long-awaited continuation of the Scrubs set tour has finally arrived, with special tour guides Production Manager Richard Wells, Ken Jenkins, and Neil Flynn.

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Toy Box: Smart Bombs – The Blanks

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 2:19 am

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If you loved the Muppets, then you know Ken Lilly, or at least his work. As the heart and soul behind the amazing line from Palisades, he made his mark on the action figure market. After leaving Palisades, Ken moved on to form his own company, Creatus Maximus.

The first product Ken developed on his own was Smart Bombs. These are actually Little Boy and Fat Man, the two bombs dropped on Japan to end the Pacific side of World War II, done up with clear domes that show off small brains inside. While the first sets were done with satirical designs, like R2-D2 or Batman, the new releases are completely blank. In fact, they are called ‘blanks’. They are designed for YOU to free your creative beast, and see what you can do with a couple unique bombs.

In my review of the original Smart Bombs, I did a long intro on the history of these two particular weapons. Check it out here for the full skinny – now on to the review of the blanks!

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Packaging – **1/2
The white boxes do a fine job of getting them to you in one piece. The graphic design is solid, but the basic packaging fits the style and size of the company itself.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
The sculpts aren’t exact duplicates of the infamous bombs, but are designed to be as close as possible, and still be unique. You (or anyone that stops by your cube) is going to instantly recognize these two guys, no matter what funky paint job you might give them.

As I mentioned in the previous review of the painted Smart Bombs, the actual scale between these two bombs is actually quite good, being only slightly off. They are fairly small though, with Little Boy at about 3 1/2″ and Fat Man at 3″. It’s going to depend on how you paint them up as to what other lines they might work well with.

The sculpts are a bit more detailed than you might expect, with rivets and other doo-dads giving them some texture. The sculpt on the brains is a bit soft, but considering the scale, it’s not too much of an issue.

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Paint – Bupkis
Usually a bupkis is not a good thing, but this time it’s really the whole point. These are white, with clear domes to show off the ‘brains’. These are intended to bring out the artist in you, allowing YOU to design the paint scheme, much like the vinyl figures from many Japanese companies.

Articulation – **1/2
The articulation here is at the arm joints. Since several arms are included, and are meant to be easily swapped around, there’s one post joint where the arm meets the body. It’s not too much, but considering the size, probably enough. Some of the extra arms could have had wrist articulation, but it’s not a major loss.

Accessories – ***
As I mentioned, both bombs come with all three extra sets of arms. There’s robot arms, cartoon arms (think Mickey Mouse), and bat wings. By including these arms, or skipping them altogether, you can create quite a number of different looks for the base body. This gives you even more options when it comes to the final deco. The actual small bomb attachments on the sides pop off to allow you to attach the various arms.

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Fun Factor – **
Hmmm. Not sure exactly how these would fit in with the normal 8 year old play patterns, but the concept of drawing and painting on them would go over big. I’m betting most parents would prefer cut bears or cats though, and those are out there in blank form as well from other companies.

However, if you’re an adult looking for a fun, creative project, then you can add at least another star, maybe two to this category for you!

Value – **1/2
These are actually a pretty good price at $10 each. The painted sets from last year were $30 for the pair, but they were also a convention exclusive. It’s also a plus that these are sold individually, rather than in sets, allowing you more choice.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not a thing. What you see is what you get, and it’s sturdy and well made.

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Overall – ***
If you’re looking for something interesting and unique upon which you can unleash your inner creative spirit, these are a great choice. In many ways, I like the blanks much better than the versions that were already painted, and I can’t wait to see the many cool ideas that CMX fans come up with to decorate their Smart Bombs.

If you’re still not sure about using two of the most deadly weapons ever unleashed on civilization as templates for art, I can’t do much to change your mind. I did go through an explanation in my previous review though, which I’m going to post here again:

“Are these anti-war? Pro-war? Or bad taste? In reality, they’re art. And that means they will be anything and everything, acting as a mirror to the viewers opinions and feelings rather than representing the same thing to everyone.

I can’t speak for Ken, since what he felt when he designed them and what purpose he hopes they serve is a personal thing. I could assume of course, using my own conceptions and judgments to color that assumption, but I’ll leave that for the more rabid.

I can tell you though what they mean to me. I am terribly afraid that we’ve forgotten what these bombs represent. In a world where people are stupid enough to believe the Holocaust never happened, or that the U.S. never landed on the moon, there are already going to be enough people stupid enough to believe that nuclear weapons are somehow a possible solution to a conflict. They think it’s like somebody else has a vest of dynamite strapped on, but we have the button. In reality, everyone has a vest of dynamite strapped on, and they all have the buttons – and once one of them pushes it, they are all going to explode.

While we can’t get past the fact that there will always be some people that stupid, we can’t let them become the majority. We have to remember that this genie can’t be let out of the bottle again. The first time, we were children playing with an electric outlet. Oh, sure, we had some logical idea that it was going to hurt, but we had to experience it to understand it emotionally. But that was a long time ago now, and forgetting is a little too easy. If something like this disturbs you, or you find it in bad taste, that’s a good thing. It means you remember and appreciate the magnitude of destruction that these little bombs represent. And if you appreciate the irony of the little brains in the top, and the silly motifs, well, all the better.”

Where to Buy –
These are available through the Creatus Maximus online store, and run $10 each. They aren’t quite there yet, but should be listed by Friday, so book mark the site!

Related Links –
Check out my review of a couple of the original painted versions from CMX, and head over to their site as well.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:28 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • So, you want to make your living as a giant rat… (Thingamabob)
  • The intro to the upcoming Super Mario Galaxy… (Thingamabob)
  • Top 10 Tracy Morgan moments from 30 Rock… (Thingamabob)
  • Why Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Emmy… (Thingamabob)

October 2, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:46 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • I don’t know why you say goodbye I say hello… (Thingamabob)

October 1, 2007

SModcast 31

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:14 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 31: Loneliness Of The Long Distance Mosier –

In which our heroes ponder congress with strangers, arranged marriages, the Byzantine nature of the electoral college, the extent of principles (via the example of crop-shredding, sexually harassing monkeys), Darth Vader alerts, weight maintenance, the supposed joys of running, and climbing Everest.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 31 (MP3 format) – 47.71 MB

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SUBSCRIBE
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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The Art Of Travel Blog #5: The Jungle

Filed under: Art of Travel Blog,Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

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We are happy to present the exclusive web only trailer and first of seven behind the scenes webisodes of The Art of Travel. Each month, we’ll premiere a new webisode – and in-between, we’ll have biweekly blogs from the actors and filmmakers, plus cool image captures from the movie.

This story has been three years in the making, and shooting the film over 7 weeks in 5 countries was an adventure for the entire cast and crew.

No, The Art of Travel is not a documentary or the retelling of the bestselling philosophy book with the same title – It is the story of Conner Layne, a high school grad with a full ride to college who finds his plans interrupted by a life changing moment… a moment which becomes the spring board to a travel adventure that ultimately changes Conner’s hopes and dreams.

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Imagine spending 370 days hacking through a jungle to make a road for a jeep, forging ahead with 6 other travelers to break a world record.

Half of The Art of Travel revolves around this kind of adventure and how Conner becomes part of it, and what he takes from it to go further on his journey to Peru and Bolivia. They fight days of pounding rain, swollen rivers, a 7 mile switch back in the mud, and more! Although it only took nearly three weeks to shoot this entire section, it was enough time for the cast and crew to realize that such a feet would be hell! The Darien Gap has been traveled by people who sought to break records in the past, but only a couple of expeditions ever pulled it off with a vehicle in tow! This section of the film is inspired by these accounts of the Darien. Enjoy webisode 5… “The Jungle”.

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Thomas Whelan, Angelika Baran, Brian La Belle, Emyr G. Graciano, Christopher Kennedy Masterson (Cusco, Peru)

Salude from the Filmmakers!

Thomas Whelan
Brian LaBelle
Emyr G. Graciano
Christopher Kennedy Masterson

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #5:

 

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THE ART OF TRAVEL TRAILER ““
Before you dive into the webisodes, check out the trailer for The Art of Travel…

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #4: “The Darien” ““
Cross the formidable – and deadly – Darien Gap with the cast and crew…

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #3: “Ladrones” ““
How exactly do you woo a cast willing to travel into the wilds of Central America…

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #2: “Casting The Net” ““
How exactly do you woo a cast willing to travel into the wilds of Central America…

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THE ART OF TRAVEL VIDEO BLOG #1: “Gonzo Filmmaking” ““
Dive into the process of pulling together the film, and the unique insanity of transporting a cast and crew into the wilds of Central America…

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Download The Art Of Travel Video Blog #1:

 

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Party Favors: Dumb Dora No More

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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SICUATE, MA – The white capped waves roll over the boulders and slam against the sea wall as a constant drizzle covers me. They call this chunk of coastline the Irish Riviera for a reason. This is the kind of moment that demands a redhead in a white cable knit sweater offering me a bowl of clam chowder while Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks leaks from behind the storm door. If I grew out my bald spot, this would be a perfect Bono moment.

Little did I know while staring at the sea that Brett Somers had passed away. Why weren’t the Post Office flags lowered to half mast? Why didn’t Dancing With the Stars get interrupted so the President could comfort us in this time of national grief? Why didn’t Time-Warner cable return GSN to the normal digital package so we could remember her greatness in a marathon of Match Game episodes? How could America go to bed without tears? Brett Somers was gone!

It was strangely appropriate that timing worked out this way. For it was in the greater Boston area that I discovered Brett during her glory days on Match Game. Summer vacations with the relatives always involved going up to my great uncles’ apartment where they religiously watched Match Game on their huge (for the time) color TV. My uncles weren’t the greatest of conversationalists so the wit of Brett and Charles Nelson Reilly dominated the room.

Brett and Charles came off as a great married couple. They knew how to poke each other without turning it into a brawl. Where does one go nowadays to see a “healthy” married couple on TV? Today’s TV watching child gets an afternoon of married couples brawling on Springer, cheating on Maury and being pathetic on Dr. Phil. Who wants to get married after seeing these sub-humans that have zero interest in being monogamous? Where’s the joy? Brett and Charles did more to defend marriage than a Congress full of divorced, closest cases. They practiced the fine art of prick and caress.

Brett was the greatest aunt that I never had. She was the great aunt that always forgot to send a birthday check, but I didn’t despise her for such a misgiving cause her visits were the greatest of gifts. Plus she was probably too buzzed on the Match Game ‘s cocktail cart to remember what day it really was. Why do people get uptight when celebrities appear on TV drunk? Brett was a fun woman on the Friday episodes because she was so buzzed. We need more happy drunk role models instead of the nasty drunks that appear on Cops.

Like Charles, back in the ’70s, a kid didn’t have a real clue why Brett was famous enough to be a regular on Match Game. How was I supposed to know about her Broadway career? Not all of us were born to be Frank Rich. But it was a thrill to see her as Oscar’s ex-wife on The Odd Couple TV series. She really could act when standing up. The recently released The Odd Couple: The Second Season contains her first appearances on the show. There’s a great episode where she, Oscar and Felix recall the New Year’s Eve party that lead to the divorce. Besides being a great aunt, she made the perfect ex-wife. Indeed she was so superb in the role that Jack Klugman and her separated while The Odd Couple was aired. They never divorced.

In barely two years time we have lost Nipsey Russell, Charles Nelson Reilly and now Brett. The greatest top row combination on Match Game has left us. Whenever lightening cracks across the sky, I shall tell my children that Brett has embarrassed Gene Rayburn. At least we still have Richard Dawson to give us a good shot at the Super Match. There’s always Fannie Flagg and Patti Deutsch to give us that last shot of matching redemption. Although if it comes down to Patti, you’re screwed. She was nuts in her answers.

Since there will be no national day of mourning for Brett and you might not get GSN (thanks for nothing, Time-Warner cable), may I recommend you pick up the boxset of Match Game or The Second Season of the Odd Couple. Remember that as long as Brett’s on your TV, she’s really deep in your heart.

ANOTHER SOX MOVIE?

The real reason for the visit to Boston is that I scored tickets for the Redsox-Yankees game for the September 14th game at Fenway. Amazingly enough the folks at the ballpark allowed me to take my video camera for a tour and during the game. I’m in the process of editing Riding the Monster. It’ll be posted here in a few weeks.

What does the film hold other than a vanity piece about me and my standing room space? I uncover the dark secrets of Fenway including the NL part of the Green Monster scoreboard, how they get water to the infield and the mysterious door in the owner’s box. Plus there’s footage of Peter Gammons talking to Joe Torre. And Jackie MacMullan of Around the Horn waves at the camera.

One moment I couldn’t shoot was when John Henry, the owner of the Redsox, came down the aisle toward me. I’ve joked in the past that Henry reminds me of David Bowie’s alien pal in Man Who Fell to Earth. Up close, he’s a bit not of this earth. As he approached, I said, “Nice evening for a game, sir.” At the time the Redsox were up 7-2. He gave me this puzzled nod and then kept walking. I’ve met other sport team owners. They’ve always been willing to able to say a real response and thanking me for coming out to the game. I flew hundreds of miles to stand for five hours. And he gives me a semi-brush off that I’d expect from George Steinbrenner. Jackie MacMullen waved from a distance. Maybe I should cut the guy some slack since his hedge fund has gone from $2.9 billion to $1.2 billion. Maybe he was trying to remember where he lost the TV Guide since there might be a billion stashed in the cover.

If you follow sports, you’ll realize that my game was known as the bullpen meltdown. The team entered the 8th leading 7-2. Then the allstar relief pitchers of Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon were destroyed by the Yankees. The inning ended with the Bronx Bombers leading 8-7. What went wrong? Who do we blame? I blame the usher in my section. Right before the start of the 8th inning, this guy went around with a box of Klennex. He handed everyone in a Yankees hat or t-shirt a tissue. He jinxed that bullpen. Do not tempt fate in Fenway. There are more prayers said every game in that green paradise than any mega-church’s midnight Mass. There’s no cockiness in Fenway. We’ve seen victory go into the dirt. Don’t you be thinking Bill Buckner. You must remember that if Bob Stanley hadn’t thrown the ball into the dirt, the Mets wouldn’t have scored the tying run. While Buckner blew the catch, odds were good the Sox would blow the ’86 World Series in extra innings. All Bob Stanley had to do was put a strike into Rich Gedman’s mitt and the game was over. Oh the agony. Now I must think about the 2004 World Series. Now it’s all good. Did you know for a week after they claimed the title, I feared the Redsox would lose the trophy because of a crazy ruling from the commissioner about a bylaw involving an illegal pinch hitting substitution. It can happen.

I don’t know the name of the usher that handles the first base side standing room area at Fenway. But if you see him holding a Kleenex box, rip it out of his hands. Don’t let him curse the Sox.

We were disappointed at the loss, but after watching nearly five hours of a nine inning ballgame, we were exhausted. We could have had our mail forwarded to Fenway. Although it would have to be General Delivery since we were standing roomers. Even with defeat, it was beautiful to witness the glory and the spite in person. At this moment, there is no greater rivalry than Sox-Yankees. And there’s no sweeter moment than watching my wife stare out at the field and scream, “A-Rod, you suck!!!!”

Now I need some Klennex.

OWEN OUT

In a shocking move, the Wilson family has announced that they have placed Owen on waivers and have replaced him with Matthew McConaughey. “Owen isn’t upholding the Wilson brand. His personal life has overshadowed our public persona. Too much heaviness. Sure Matthew has had his troubles with the law, but getting high and naked while playing the bongos appeals to the Wilson brand,” a source close to Luke Wilson reportedly said. “Plus he’s a Texan like us.”

Is it proper to hate on Wes Anderson because he’s allowed his personal fashion sense to overwhelm his movie? Why does the New York Times have to give us the inside skinny on his suede shoes? We used to wear those semi-Hush Puppies in Catholic High School (sneakers were banned). Does that mean I went to a “peripatetic” hot spot? And he “discovered” the Kinks’ Lola Versus Powerman and the Money-Go-Round, Part One! Wow. That’s really f’n obscure. I bet there’s not a single classic rock station that has ever played a track off that Kinks record. Maybe someday he’ll dig up an Atomic Rooster track. We also listened to that at Cardinal Gibbons High School. Is Wes Anderson really that far beyond us or is he merely aping school kids from decades ago?

Are we supposed to feel pity for Wes because he can’t slumber without his embroidered pajamas and dainty sleep mask? Oh the burden of being trapped in Wes Anderson’s creative body. Maybe he’ll have a dream of Lee Marvin kicking his ass for being such a major wuss? Guess it is easier to go on about a sleep mask than deal with the issue of a guy playing a suicide case who turns out to be a suicide case in real life. I’m already sick of The Darjeeling Limited.

McLOVIN MOMENT

For those who are fans of the movie Superbad, my brother Russ made a video visit to the convenience store featured in the film.

Fake IDs will be appreciated.

TASTE THE PARADISE

There’s a nasty rumor on the internet that I was Anthony Bourdain’s guide on the Travel Channel’s No Reservations. According to those lying sources the episode was called The Air Conditioned Nightmare Part 2. Instead of treating Bourdain to Southern delicacies like his visit to Charleston, South Carolina, I forced him to experience the New South. Instead of Mama Dip’s, Wilbur’s BBQ and the Underground, he was treated to the TGIFridays, Ruby Tuesdays, Olive Garden and Red Lobster. If you want to believe the internet, an assistant editor lost their will to live while watching Bourdain and myself chow down on the newest Southern favorite delicacy: The Bloomin’ Onion at Outback.

Allegedly for fun, I took Bourdain to the Crabtree Valley Mall where I mourned how Spencer’s Gifts is gone. Where will the kids go for their dirty birthday cards with hot firemen studs hauling their hoses and overweight women in bikinis? After nearly 30 years, the dream is gone at my crummy mall. He may bitch about what MTV and Disney did to Time Square, but where will I go for my Kiss salt and pepper shakers? Sure they have a Spencer’s at the new mall across town, but this place had tradition!

Afterwards we went to an indoor batting cage to practice where the pitching machine had been altered to throw beanballs at 8 year olds. Why should Les Moonves be the only one to profit off abusing children on TV? The big finale was a midnight visit to the Krispy Kreme where we each ate a dozen hot glaze donuts right off the rollers. There was medical personal nearby in case we got holes burnt on our inner cheeks. We wrapped up the night by throwing rocks at Clay Aiken’s house. Don’t you want to call your travel agent and live the dream?

Of course all of this is a lie and the Travel Channel will deny that this shoot ever took place. Bourdain will admit that he’s never heard of me and that he didn’t drive off with my copy of Television’s Marquee Moon in his rental SUV’s cd player. Although if you catch Bourdain slumbering on a flight from Tangier to Taos, you might hear him mutter, “Joe, not another Chalupa!”

NIGHTMARE OF RAMSAY

Speaking of celeb chefs, Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares lost its identity when they imported it. If you’ve seen the version that runs on BBC America, you’ve witnessed a series that feels like a sweet documentary as Gordon peacefully helps out troubled restaurants. There’s a civility as he transforms the troubled into the healthy. His personal voiceover has a tinge of grace. If you watch Fox’s remake, you’ll experience a cross between Jerry Springer and Extreme Makeover: Dinner Edition. Plus they hired that over dramatic voiceover guy from Hell’s Kitchen to hype rather than tap into Ramsay’s thoughts. The pilot episode was unbelievable. They found a restaurant that served him the worst food on his first visit. The chef didn’t seem to give a crap that he needed to serve up the A game to Ramsay’s plate. What self respecting chef would do that? The restaurant was a complete mess. Wouldn’t you clean up the joint if you knew a network show was arriving? When grandma visited, you cleaned the toilet. Why wouldn’t they make sure everything is picture perfect? The owner of the place kept attacking creditors on the outside sidewalk. He even threw his elderly father to the concrete in his rage. Can this really be real? Do people really act this way when “reality” cameras appear in their life? Or is this the price they have to pay for the show to provide them with all new kitchen equipment?

I felt that Ramsay was a loud mouth fraud on Hell’s Kitchen. What’s so special about risotto and Beef Wellington? But when I caught a few of his peaceful BBC shows, I saw the guy as a creative chef who was passionate about the dining experience. Why did Ramsay have to destroy his image again? What’s he doing on his show that wasn’t captured on the episode of I Pity The Fool when Mr. T saved an Italian restaurant?

Before he saves anymore kitchens, Ramsay needs to save his identity.

KELLOGG’S KILLER

Why do the folks at Kellogg’s want to kill your children?

I’m not talking about the corn syrup they use to sweeten your cereal instead of sugar, nature’s sweetener. They created the most horrific idea ever for a children’s snack: Lego Fun Snacks. You think I’m lying? Look at the proof:

http://www2.kelloggs.com/Product/ProductDetail.aspx?product=8213

The evil scientists at Kellogg’s have devised the most destructive snack treat of all time. How many times do you have to tell a small child to not put Legos in their mouth? How many times were you told that Legos were not food? And how many kids get rushed to the emergency room because those colored building blocks were too tempting?

So what the hell do the fine folks at Kellogg’s do? Make it so kids can finally eat their Legos. This would all be fine and dandy if there were no more non-edible Legos at Toys ‘R Us. But we don’t live in that world, do we? You may say I’m over reacting. Do you believe that two year old kids are smart enough to tell the food and the toy apart? While I’m not a complete expert on 2 year olds, I do have experience taking things out of their mouths. They’re like dogs when it comes to putting crap in their mouth. You have to train them and when something comes along that ruins the “good” and “bad” logic, you’re screwed. They will eat the wrong things and you pay the consequences. The folks at Kellogg’s deny it was ever their fault.

All I hear about in the media is the rise of autistic children in America. Does Kellogg’s care if they confuse an autistic kid into thinking that all Legos are fair game for munchies? Why aren’t the various organizations for autistic children protesting this devious product? They have an easy target to drag before Congress. Why isn’t Jenny McCarthy protesting Legos Fun Snacks before her kid gets a mouthful of the wrong blocks?

Where is the common sense from the heads of Kellogg’s when it comes to new products? Do James M. Jenness and A.D. David Mackay have souls? It’s obvious that this was a product developed by Satan. Dr. Benjamin S. Carson, the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery for Kellogg’s, needs to have his medical license yanked for allowing this product to touch the lips of children. Civil War surgeons wouldn’t have staked their reputations on Lego Fun Snacks. Was Dr. Carson a student of Dr. Moreau?

What’s next for Kellogg’s? How about Drano juiceboxes? When will we get edible dry cleaner bags from Battle Creek? How about a snack bar that’s a working Zippo lighter? Let’s roll out a fruit roll that looks just like a highway dividing line so kids can run into traffic when they want a tasty treat. I fear that Jenness, Mackay and Carson will have their demonic research department developing my ideas. These people have no care for your children. They’re too concerned with cultivating a suicide garden that’s hydrated with corn syrup.

The nice part is how Kellogg’s website has a place to click for “Family Focus.” That focus must include bringing families together at the funerals of children that choked to death on Legos.

RETRO REJOICE

Remember my rant about TVLand transforming into a middle aged reality channel? Well there shall be no more sniping at TVLand. Why? Did they do something amazing? Did they find the errors in their way? Nope.

I found something better in the Retro TV Network. This syndicated network has scored deals with Paramount and Universal to create a programming delight for folks who can’t stand another “look at me” reality show. This is old TV for people who enjoy watching TV.

During the week they show Streets of San Francisco, Gomer Pyle, Cannon, Ironside, Rockford Files, The Fugitive, Quincy, Get Smart, Perry Mason, Mission Impossible, The Untouchables, Matlock, Hawaii Five-0, Magnum P.I. , Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and the greatest show known to Mankind: Love, American Style. On weekends they have Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew, Bonanza, Rawhide, Gunsmoke (including the black and white 30 minute early ones), Wild Wild West, Greatest American Hero, A-Team, Knight Rider, Airwolf, Buck Rogers, Alias Smith and Jones and It Takes a Thief.

Tubious, the TV god, has listened to my prayers. Although he skipped over Batman, The Six Million Dollar Man and Space Giants. Plus Brad Honecutt wants Mannix. But this is a great start.

A local station has decided to use RTN as the programming on their bonus digital channel. Hopefully a smart station manager in your town will give you the gift of Love, American Style. The only downside is that from 1 a.m. to 10 a.m., it’s a paid programming marathon, but this is a good excuse to get sleep. You’ll need plenty of energy to make it through the plot of Quincy.

On a different channel, American Life has Irwin Allen night on Thursdays. Get your fill of Lost In Space, Time Tunnel, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Land of the Giants once a week.

MOVING PEOPLE?

The footage of the college student getting Tasered and the cellphone salesmen getting shot has shown a strange truth about America – we don’t give a crap. Did you notice how none of the other college students in the frame seemed outraged or fearful as their classmate was manhandled by campus security? As the guy is screaming from the 50,000 watts pumped through his body, there’s a row of kids who look utterly bored by the situation. After winning the football and basketball titles, it must take a lot to get the Gators to react. They weren’t even eyeballing as bystanders. They were zombies.

The same can be said about the youth sitting near a cellphone store. The salesman takes a gun shot in the chest from robbers. Do the kids duck for cover? Pull out a cellphone and call 911? Nope. They just barely look over to see the commotion. Heaven forbid any of these kids drop behind a car. Those kids look as bored as the college students.

Remember when America had a gag reflex towards violence? What happened to caring enough to protect our asses? Is Duck and Cover too much to remember for the Text-Message crowd? I don’t expect heroes in these situations, but please be repulsed and willing to save your ass from a dangerous moment.

RIGHT TITLE, WRONG FILM

Here’s a quick warning: Planet of Junior Brown on Showtime has nothing to do with the musician Junior Brown. Although that does sound like the perfect title for a documentary about the real Junior Brown.

Comics in Context #196: Celestial Mechanics

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 12:02 am

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cic2007-09-17.jpgIn the interview in the back of the hardcover collection of Neil Gaiman’s revival of Jack Kirby’s Eternals, Gaiman says, “One of my favorite things about this – which… takes advantage of… the nature of time in the Marvel Universe–is that in my story, the Third Host did indeed arrive; Arishem came down to judge. In 1976.”

First, as those of you who have been reading this column for the last two weeks may recall, Arishem came to judge Earth as a member of the Fourth Host of Celestials. More importantly, Neil Gaiman has a different understanding of “Marvel time” than I do.

Time passes much more slowly for Marvel’s fictional characters than it does in the real world. Otherwise, Peter Parker (alias Spider-Man), who was fifteen in his first appearance, published in 1962, would now be sixty. When I was active at Marvel in the 1980s, the rule was that in Marvel time it had been seven to ten years (depending on who you talked to) since the events of Fantastic Four #1, published in 1961. My impression is that John Byrne, a staunch defender of the “Marvel time” concept, would contend that no matter how much time has now passed since the publication of FF #1, it is still seven-to-ten years in Marvel time since the FF’s origin (see “Comics in Context” #25). I also have the impression that the current editorial team at Marvel, if they think about Marvel time much at all, may have now stretched the seven-to-ten years to as much as fifteen. This is a mistake (Should Spider-Man be thirty?), but that’s a subject for another day.

Had the original Eternals series by Jack Kirby been completely divorced from other known characters in the Marvel Universe, I would have no problem with the idea that it took place thirty-one years ago in Marvel time. But in the Kirby series two kids put together a robot simulacrum of the Hulk, and Sersi temporarily turns a student’s face into a replica of the Thing’s (Kirby Eternals collection p. 106). There is no way that in Marvel time the origins of the Hulk and the Thing occurred thirty-one years ago. Therefore, the Fourth Host had to arrive sometime within the last seven, ten or fifteen years of Marvel time, depending on your interpretation.

Ultimately, though, exactly when the Fourth Host arrived is a minor matter in the story: what is important is that they did, some years before Gaiman’s Eternals storyline begins. In the context of the series, it is Ikaris, who confesses that he has a faulty memory, who says it was “thirty years” since the Fourth Host came, so we can easily interpret this reference as a mistake on Ikaris’s part that nonetheless serves as a winking acknowledgment to the readers that Gaiman’s series marked the thirtieth anniversary of Jack Kirby’s original opus.

As for what happened after the Fourth Host landed, Ikaris admits that “I don’t really remember all of it after that,” but he does recall that the Fourth Host returned to outer space (“I guess you must have been okay,” Ikaris says, and, indeed, Arishem literally gave humanity a thumbs-up in Thor #300 in 1980), and thinks (correctly) that he “succeeded Zuras as the leader of the Eternals” (Gaiman Eternals issue 1 page 33).

Ordinarily I believe in strict adherence to Marvel continuity. But I also believe in not dragging more references to past continuity into a story than are necessary. Actually, Zuras died (or so we readers thought), and he was initially succeeded as the Eternals’ leader by his daughter Thena, before Ikaris succeeded her. But there is no need in the present storyline to go into that much detail, so Gaiman wisely leaves it out. Similarly, for the purposes of the new series, we do not need to know the circumstances under which the Fourth Host departed Earth.

Thus the injured Ikaris, alias “Ike Harris,” finished recounting the backstory of the Eternals to a medical student named Mark Curry, who has lost his memory of his true identity, the Eternal known as Makkari. Curry reacts with utter disbelief, pointing out that if the Fourth Host had landed, then their existence would be public knowledge. Back in the first issue of the second Eternals series, in 1985, writer Peter B. Gillis established that when the Fourth Host left Earth in Thor #300, they wiped out humanity’s memories of the Eternals, Deviants and Celestials, making a few exceptions, such as Sersi’s companion Dr. Samuel Holden. (In fact, Dr. Holden discovered that even when he told his students about the Eternals, Deviants and Celestials, they immediately forgot!) Arguably this violates Jack Kirby’s intentions, since he not only did numerous scenes in which humanity reacted to the colossal Celestials in their midst, but even did an issue in which Dr. Holden publicly revealed the existence of the Eternals and Deviants at New York’s City College (in Eternals Vol. 1 #6, 1976). But I expect that Gillis and Gaiman both believe that, now that Eternals is so explicitly set in the Marvel Universe, whose denizens are already well aware of the existence of superheroes and aliens, that the Eternals and Deviants can retain a certain mystery by operating out of public view.

Curry then demands to know why, if there were millions of Deviants before the coming of the Second Host, why they haven’t rebuilt their numbers to millions again. Gaiman never answers this question in the new series. In Iron Man Annual #6 (1983) the Eternals got rid of many Deviants, including their leader Brother Tode, by rearranging their atomic structures into a gigantic block which they transported into outer space. This was probably an effort by Marvel to reduce sharply the number of Deviants on Earth, but it still doesn’t explain why the Deviant population had not soared into millions.

Kirby provided a possible answer in the original series through the Deviants’ “Purity Time,” described as “an infamous ritual which never ends” (Kirby, p. 137).

Each Deviant is radically different genetically from the others. The Deviants nevertheless believe that this genetic variety must be kept within certain bounds. Through the endless “Purity Time,” any Deviant whose genetic deviations are judged to be too extreme is sentenced to be destroyed. The Deviants’ leader Brother Kro declared, “Killing serves a practical purpose here! It rids us of the unwanted” (Kirby p. 141). It is unclear what the Deviants’ standards for acceptable genetic variety is, but Kirby shows us that one Deviant, whom he called the Reject, was condemned because he looked exactly like a handsome normal human being. Since all other Deviants look grotesque, and look different from one another, then Kirby is showing us that their standards of racial purity make no sense (and by extension, that any standards of racial “purity” are nonsensical). The Deviants in power are simply venting their violent hatred and exercising their will to power by seemingly arbitrarily seeking out and executing scapegoats.

Deviants condemned in “Purity Time” are transported in “death wagons” (Kirby, p. 137). What happens to them? The Deviant warlord Kro points towards a structure emitting flame, like a gigantic oven (Kirby, p. 139). Kirby also makes reference to “Purity Time” as a “solution.” As in “the Final Solution”?

Lately much attention has been given to the role of Jewish-Americans, including Kirby, in creating and developing the superhero genre. (For example, Danny Fingeroth’s new book on the subject, Disguised as Clark Kent: Jews, Comics, and the Creation of the Superhero, will soon be available in bookstores.) On rereading the Kirby Eternals series, it’s obvious to me that “Purity Time” was inspired by the Holocaust.

Hence, it was a serious mistake when the second Eternals series purported that “Purity Time” did not execute “unwanted” Deviants after all. Instead, it contended that the Deviant priesthood placed the supposedly condemned into suspended animation, so that they could eventually serve as the priesthood’s private army. The people responsible for this reinterpretation of “Purity Time” didn’t understand Kirby’s Holocaust imagery at all.

So, if we follow Kirby’s original vision of “Purity Time,” arguably the Deviants, through their fanatical obsession with genetic “purity,” have ended up self-destructively restricting the size of their own population.

Later in Gaiman’s series, after Druig takes over the government of a former Soviet republic and causes the brutal murders of numerous people, the narration informs us that “Tomorrow they will announce that atrocities have been committed by. . who? Gypsies, perhaps, or homosexuals or Slavs. And he will have them rounded up. And it will be necessary to bring back the secret police. And without knowing why, he feels like this is a return to the good old days, the very old days” (Gaiman issue 5, p. 13). So perhaps Neil Gaiman did spot the Holocaust imagery in Kirby’s Eternals, and this is his own allusion to it.

Elsewhere in the Kirby series, the Eternals and human guests Margo Damian and Sam Holden form a group “Uni-Mind” by plunging into what appears to be a gigantic flame. Sersi tells Sam, “That flame is life, not death! It is life as you have never known it before!” (Kirby p. 212). This is another variation on the familiar death and rebirth motif, with the Uni-Mind serving as a kind of afterlife, a higher spiritual state beyond mortal existence. But it also strikes me now that the Uni-Mind “flame” is the opposite of the flame that rises from the “Purity Time” oven. As Kirby intended it, the fires of “Purity Time” bring annihilation, but the “flame” of the Uni-Mind brings a higher, transcendent form of life.

Curry asks Ikaris if Eternals could “interbreed with humans,” and Ikaris replies, “I guess so” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 35). At this point Ikaris is unable to recall that long ago he had a human son, also named Ikaris, for whom he built a flying device. After the younger Ikaris fell from the sky to his death, inspiring the myth of Icarus [sic], his father took the name “Ikaris” in his honor. (See Eternals Vol. 2 #5, February 1986, and here.) Curry points out that Ikaris claims that Eternals can also breed among themselves.

So, Curry asks, why are there still only a hundred Eternals? With their genetic immunity to illness and death, why hasn’t the Eternal population risen into the billions? Through interbreeding, Curry points out, “we’d all be Eternals now.”

This is another question that Gaiman raises without answering. In the original series Kirby wrote that “The Eternals bred few in number” (Kirby p. 11). Perhaps this suggests that it is quite rare for a mating between Eternals to produce Eternal offspring. It also appears, from such examples as Ikaris’s son in Eternals Vol. 2 and Thena’s son in the Gaiman series, that when Eternals interbreed with normal humans, their offspring are normal humans. My hypothesis is that this is all a result of the Celestials’ “intelligent design” of the Eternals. The Celestials did not want the Eternals to dominate Earth, and so they genetically designed the Eternals to prevent their numbers from rising significantly.

Curry accepts the fact that Ikaris is a superhuman; he simply does not accept Ikaris’s explanation for his powers: “If Spider-Man told me that he got his spider-powers from reading Chariots of the Gods, I guess I’d figure he was full of it too” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 35). Obviously Mark Curry is unaware of J. Michael Straczynski’s recent stories in Amazing Spider-Man asserting that Spider-Man’s powers are in part mystical in origin, and that he is the “totem” of a spider-like force.

This Curry-Ikaris scene serves as a transition into a section of the first issue in which Gaiman begins exploring what makes the Eternals different from the many superheroes who populate Marvel-Earth. One of the differences appears to be that, despite Straczynski, most superheroes’ powers are rooted in science; therefore Curry, a man of science, can believe in them. But the Eternals origins have religious overtones, since they claim to have been created by “space gods.”

We next see Ikaris in his hospital bed watching another of the seemingly dreadful American TV shows that Gaiman has devised for this series: America’s Next Super Hero (Gaiman issue 1 p. 36). I wonder if Neil Gaiman knew about Stan Lee’s reality TV series Who Wants to Be a Superhero? when he started work on this Eternals series. (Neil’s show has a “super hero house” a la Big Brother, whereas in Stan’s, the hero wannabes room together in their secret “lair.”) I rather like Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, which is not only entertainingly kitschy, but also, surprisingly, enforces moral standards for superhero conduct that contemporary comics often ignore (see “Comics in Context” #142).

Then again, the New Warriors, one of Marvel’s superhero teams, was appearing on a reality TV series at the time of the disaster which led to the events of Marvel’s Civil War series. Before that, Marvel’s new X-Force team, later renamed X-Statix, were primarily out to become rich and famous media celebrities, relegating fighting crime and saving innocents to secondary importance.

There should be an inspirational majesty to the superhero concept: the idea of a human being who achieves godlike status. I wonder if Gaiman is suggesting that the image of conventional superheroes is being overwhelmed by their status as commercial properties. So here are the contestants for America’s Next Super Hero–Tantrum, ZeeBee, Trucker, and others–who aren’t following the traditional origin path of going out of their own to battle evildoers, but are competing against each other on a tacky TV show. Janet Van Dyne, alias the Wasp, flies in to make an appearance. (So Stan presides over Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, and Jan appears on America’s Next Super Hero. Stan and Jan. Hmm.) Then we see Mister Fantastic doing a Public Service Announcement on behalf of reading. lowering himself with a kitschy catchphrase (“It’s fantastic!”). However, the contestants rave with praise not over these classic Marvel superheroes, but over Sprite, who, as far as they know, is only a TV star for “˜tweens. They’d rather be TV celebrities than champions of justice. Trucker says, “I am now officially the coolest kid in my school” because he’s going to meet Sprite. Shouldn’t he be more impressed that he’s working with a co-founder of the Avengers? Mind you, she seems to have sold out by appearing on this show.

(However, I like the fact that Mr. Fantastic is holding up a copy of Gulliver’s Travels, which is arguably a forebear of science fiction novels. According to Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the book’s title character, Lemuel Gulliver, is an early member of the League, making him a forerunner of today’s superheroes.)

In the interview in the back of the hardcover collection of his Eternals, Neil Gaiman says, “You know, you’ve got the sort of “˜Marvel Civil Warry’ stuff going on in the background, in a way that I hope won’t bug anybody who has no idea what this is but will actually be kind of fun for anybody who does.” Well, I know what this “Civil Warry” stuff is, and I’m bugged. I am no fan of Civil War and its repercussions, and I should think that Gaiman’s many readers who are not superhero fans might indeed be puzzled by his references to Civil War in Eternals. Aren’t superheroes traditionally supposed to act on their own or in small teams? So what’s all this about government registration of superheroes?

Indeed, I contend that the superhero is a metaphor for the freedom, power and potential for greatness within the individual. Clark Kent and Peter Parker are nobodies, swallowed up by contemporary urban society, who assert themselves as individuals by shifting into their superheroic identities. By the end of Civil War Marvel’s superheroes are instead forced into the roles of government servants.

I would like to think that decades from now, Neil Gaiman’s Eternals, as well as Sandman and 1602 and his other works in comics, will still be in print, whereas Civil War, like virtually every other Marvel and DC company-wide crossover series event, will have faded into obscurity. Decades hence new readers of the Gaiman Eternals may well need footnotes to explain the Civil War references.

So why did Gaiman put the Civil War references in Eternals? Did Marvel urge him to put them in, just as back in the 1970s Marvel allegedly pushed Kirby into putting Marvel Universe references into his Eternals?

In Gaiman’s case, though, I tend to think that if he worked Civil War connections into Eternals, he did so for thematic purposes.

In the episode of America’s Next Super Hero that is excerpted in this first issue, Jan tells a contestant, “You see, Grace, when you’re a government-registered super hero, you’ll need to record public service announcements, like this one,” whereupon we see Mr. Fantastic in his aforementioned PSA (Gaiman issue 1, pgs. 36-37). Some readers may recall when government registration of mutants was considered a Bad Thing in Marvel stories, a first step towards the dystopian “Days of Future Past.” How interesting that Jan says that once Grace has registered with the government, she will “need” to do public service announcements. One might have thought that recording PSAs was done on a volunteer basis. Just what else does the government require registered superheroes to do? (Hint: consult Avengers: The Initiative.)

Then, with her characteristically cheerful demeanor, Jan tells the contestants they are off to visit the set of It’s Just So Sprite, “where the lucky winner of today’s hero trial is going to record a PSA about getting registered” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37). Oh, Jan, I always thought of you as an irreverent free spirit, not a smiling propagandist. And that phrase “hero trial” seems disconcertingly ominous.

Soon afterwards we see Sprite himself on television with Orlando, an America’s Next Super Hero contestant. Sprite is secretly an Eternal, so, like other Eternals, he should be a “protector of the Earth.” But, as we shall see, he has devoted his life to becoming a celebrity instead. On television Sprite reels off his show biz credits, and tells us, “I’m not a super hero. If I were, I’d get registered,” just like Orlando here (Gaiman issue 1, p. 38). So Sprite is a willing propagandist for the government as well.

To reinforce the point, Gaiman has Orlando tell us, “It’s just so Sprite. If you’re gonna be a super hero, get registered” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37). Gaiman thus links the Civil War superhero registration program to Sprite and the mind-numbing mediocrity of his TV show. By linking the registration program to Sprite, Gaiman also links it to Sprite’s sinister agenda, which is later to be revealed.

The TV show excerpt ends with a close-up on Orlando as he concludes about superhero registration, “It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 37), which carries an implicit threat. This is a rather different slogan for a superhero than “With great power must come great responsibility,” isn’t it? And isn’t there something odd about Orlando’s wide-eyed look in that closing panel, a hint of innocent fanaticism, perhaps?

Come to think of it, doesn’t the fact that the government is putting PSAs about superhero registration on television imply that there must be an awful lot of superhumans out there? Is Gaiman suggesting that perhaps the Marvel Universe has too many super-people? Maybe the limited number of Eternals is another factor that sets them apart from other Marvel superheroes.

Ikaris tells Curry, “There are so many mysteries to solve, and I need you by my side” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 39). At this point Ikaris reminded me of Fox Mulder in The X-Files, a man who believes in and investigates the paranormal but is considered by many to be delusional. Maybe that’s one reason why Gaiman put in a reference to Roswell earlier on (Gaiman issue 1 p. 34). And hey, Mulder’s partner was Dana Scully, a medical doctor, and Mark Curry is a medical student.

But Curry instead injects Ikaris with a sedative to put him to sleep; perhaps Curry was also motivated, consciously or unconsciously, to keep him from talking any further. Considering Ikaris’s high level of “durability,” as The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe puts it, I’m surprised that a hypodermic needle could penetrate his thick skin. And wouldn’t it take a dose of sedative that was far higher than normal to knock Ikaris unconscious? (Think of the various past stories in which someone uses knockout gas on the Hulk and says that it’s a dose sufficient to put something like a herd of elephants to sleep.)

Gaiman will establish that Ikaris’s Eternal powers still aren’t back to full working order at this point. Nonetheless, the issue ends with two Deviants, whose names are later established as Morjak and Gelt, returning to capture Ikaris, and in issue two, Ikaris seems pretty damn resistant to the physical tortures they put him through.

Issue two is titled “Identity Crisis,” which is an obvious reference to Mark Curry’s questioning of his own identity, which reaches the crisis point when armed men who invade a party at the Vorozheikan embassy attempt to kill him. I wonder if it may also be an allusion to DC’s Identity Crisis series, which also concerned characters who lost and regained their memories (see “Comics in Context” #57, 58, 63, 67).

By the way, here’s something that I discovered when I was researching my forthcoming book, The Marvel Travel Guide to New York. Countries usually situate their official embassies in the capitals of other nations. Their official outposts in other cities are known as consulates. Hence, what Marvel calls the Latverian, Symkarian and Wakandan embassies in New York City (for the respective nations of Doctor Doom, Silver Sable, and the Black Panther) are really consulates. And the “Vorozheikan embassy” in New York City in Gaiman’s Eternals is probably a consulate, too.

Not responding to the Campbellian “call to adventure” always has bad repercussions. In issue 2 we learn that Mark Curry has not just refused to heed the “call” but has gone so far as to turn the “herald” who issued the “call,” Ikaris alias “Ike Harris,” over to two men who, as Curry’s superior points out, only “claimed to be doctors” (Gaiman issue 2 p. 8). In actuality, they are Deviants who are busily experimenting in efforts to kill their allegedly unkillable captive Ikaris. Curry’s active rejection of the “call” has imperiled Ikaris.

Ikaris desperately sends another “call,” a telepathic call for help, to Curry, calling him “Makkari,” but Curry fails to respond. This time his refusal to heed the call is immediately followed by catastrophe for himself: Curry’s superior tells him he is “suspended from working here,” and that a policeman “wishes to talk to you” about Harris’s disappearance from the hospital. (Gaiman issue 2 p. 8). In plainer words, the police suspect Curry is involved in the illegal abduction of Ike Harris (and, in a sense, they are correct) and intend to interrogate him. Already in a low position at this start of his “hero’s journey,” Curry has descended to an even lower one.

This issue contains many Campbellian “calls.” There is Ikaris’s telepathic call for help. Another “call” comes through his chance encounter with Sersi, another Eternal who is unaware of her Eternal identity. They are immediately attracted to each other, and we shall learn later that, in their Eternal identities, they are former lovers. Perhaps part of their attraction to each other now is that they subconsciously remember each other: “I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Sersi tells him (Gaiman issue 2 p. 5). She also says that she wishes she could invite him to the party she is organizing at the Vorozheikan embassy; not having been suspended yet, Mark responds that the hospital probably wouldn’t give him the night off. So here’s Sersi wanting to “call” Mark to a party–and to romance, and perhaps subconsciously to a connection to a fellow Eternal–and deciding that she can’t, and Mark, who seems a rather passive fellow, not seeming all that disappointed about it.

After Curry is suspended, Gaiman provides us with a major revelation: Mark has been refusing another “herald’s” “call to adventure”: his own. Curry had been dreaming about Ikaris, the Deviants and the Celestials “before I’d ever met him” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 9). Curry is so far into denial that “I wanted to think that I was going crazy” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 9) rather than accept the truth about his origins. Makkari is the counterpart of Mercury, messenger of the gods, and here we see that Makkari’s subconscious self is acting as messenger to “Mark Curry.” Of course it is right that Mark dreams of his higher potential, as do we all. It is also appropriate to find Neil Gaiman, auteur of Sandman, utilizing dreams once again as a motif.

Right after Mark says he would prefer to be “crazy” rather than accept the call of his dreams, Sersi’s friend Abigail tells her she is “crazy not to” invite Mark to the party (or, if you prefer, issue her call to romantic adventure to him) (Gaiman issue 2 p. 10). Abigail argues that this could be Sersi’s “only chance” to “impress” Curry. This reinforces the idea of the importance of accepting the “call” when it occurs. lest the opportunity never again present itself. (Mark/Makkari is fortunate in that he keeps getting “calls” to return to his true identity, rather like those innumerable invitations to attend Hogwarts that owls keep delivering to Harry Potter until the Dursleys finally give in).

Sersi tells Abigail that there will be some superheroes attending her party, namely “the kids from America’s Next Super Hero“; Abigail disapprovingly comments, “That’s kinda C-list. Any word from Julia Roberts?” (Gaiman issue 2 p. 10). Notice that Sersi and Abigail are discussing superheroes as if they were simply celebrities, not heroic champions or godlike figures. Abigail talks as if Captain America and Julia Roberts were interchangeable. It’s as if Spider-Man were no different than Tobey Maguire.

As Sersi and Abigail chat, they ignore another “herald,” an apparently insane homeless man who shouts, “They took it all away!” Longtime Eternals aficionados should realize from the man’s red beard that he is Zuras, monarch of the Eternals and counterpart of Zeus. “They took it all away!” is his mad reference to what happened to the Eternals, and his cry of “All one!” may be a reference to the Eternals’ Uni-Mind. But Sersi, lacking her memories of being an Eternal, cannot understand Zuras’s message.

Reducing a powerful being into a homeless, amnesiac derelict is a familiar trope in Marvel history”: it has happened to the Ancient One, to Odin (I think), and most famously to the Sub-Mariner in Fantastic Four #4 (May, 1962).

Eternals aficionados should be surprised to see Zuras, since he was killed in combat with the Fourth Host in Thor #300 (even though Gaiman’s series contends that the Eternals are mentally programmed not to fight Celestials); Zuras’s spirit departed from his body in Iron Man Annual #6. However, I always thought that killing off Zuras was a mistake, so I am pleased to see him back. (In general, killing off characters created by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, or any combination thereof, is usually a bad idea. Most such characters have too much potential for further stories.)

Usually I expect that when a writer resurrects a supposedly deceased character in the superhero genre, he or she will explain how the character survived. Later in this Eternals series Gaiman does reveal how an Eternal can literally be resurrected, and in issue four Sprite indicates that Zuras, as well as Ajak, who was killed off in The Eternals: The Herod Factor (1991), went through this same “reactivation” process.

Sersi and Mark Curry turn out not to be hopelessly stuck in their respective ruts: she invites him to the Vorozheikan party, and he accepts.

But then Mark receives the most disturbing of his “calls”: a vision of Ikaris tormented by flames, pleading telepathically for his help. Like the Apostle Peter denying Christ, Curry rejects the call yet again. His face set in anger, and even cruelty, Curry demands that Ikaris “Get out of my head!” (Gaiman issue 2, p. 12).

Mark Curry has now gone too far, and soon it is he will be in dire need of help. Rejecting the call will once more be followed by serious consequences, as we shall see next week.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

I haven’t done one of these sections for awhile, but I’ve continued to do writing for Publishers Weekly‘s online newsletter Comics Week. You can find my interview with David Michaelis, author of the psychologically penetrating biography Schulz and Peanuts, to be published in October, here, and my review of R. C. Harvey’s Meanwhile. . . , a lengthy and extensively researched biography of Milton Caniff, creator of the classic comic strips Terry and the Pirates and Steve Canyon, here.

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/1/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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September 29, 2007

Game On! 9-29-2007: Someone Finish The Fight For Me…

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 11:42 pm

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So, I’ve written and re-written this column about four times now. It’s tough, very tough, to try to express just how I feel about this particular subject. I’m not one of the huddled masses, going to Midnight openings and buying all the swag: t-shirts, replica weapons, Hero-Clix, Kubricks, statues, books, comics, belts, hats, pins, keychains”¦I just don’t buy into it like that. Suffice to say I’m not one of the hardcore. I’m not a fan. I have played the games, sure, and enjoyed them, but I honestly don’t see the hype. So, this column, as I have said, has been written and re-written over and again, just because”¦

“¦I can’t figure out how to tell the world I just don’t like HALO 3.

Well, I mean, I guess I could just leave it at that. But no, folks would cry foul, and ask my WHY I don’t like it. Well, that’s fair. That’s a simple enough question.

But do I have a simple enough answer?

halo3_1.jpgTo be sure, the game’s online portion is top notch. Multiplayer matchmaking is a breeze (well, once you take into account that everyone and their grandmother is playing the damn game) and settling in for team slayer, deathmatch or the like on any of the 11 included maps is really pretty fun. A recent Xbox 360 system update allows for “clan support” and inter-game features like checking out how your friends have progressed, and watching some of their video feeds.

That’s right, video feeds. The game has a fairly cool feature where EVERY game played is saved and ready to be run back and watched for highlights, then captured for posterity and uploaded for all to see. From any angle. Screen caps are available too, just to give the pwners credit where credit’s due live and in your face for long enough to want to wish someone imminent death if it happens to be you who is pwned. Plus, explosions in slow motion are cool.

There’s also the robust Forge feature, the level editing tool that lets you take any of the existing maps, fuck with them anyway you want by adding spawn points, extra weapons, gravity lifts, vehicles and whatnots to the landscape all in real time. You can even create giant games of jenga with power cells, see how long you can carry around teammates on floating boxes till they fall. Want to eliminate anything on the map except for exploding boxes, then put them on a one-second respawn so when you blow them up with a plasma grenade, the fire never stops? You can do it.

These parts are actually quite excellent, and for those who get into those kinds of things, they will fall in love with HALO 3’s multiplayer options quite hard. But a lot of us play games for the single player campaign first, and for me, that’s where HALO (and every one of its sequels) has fallen short. With this new chapter in the saga, the end to the trilogy, you are now charged with “finishing the fight” as the Master Chief, with Arbiter in tow, blazing a swath across the galaxy in jungle settings, urban landscapes and space-y vistas. And while the 360 version IS sharper than any previous episode, it still”¦ well, just doesn’t impress me, visually. Objects pop, backgrounds stand out, but to me it’s still just another bland jungle, or another bleak space station.

My main problem with HALO 3 (as with the others) is that I honestly could give a crap less about the story. Maybe it’s just me, but I find the whole thing a tad trite, a sad combination of DIE HARD meets STAR WARS with a little INDIANA JONES thrown in. You’ve got your bad ass mysterious hero heading into action guns blazing, asking no questions and kicking all asses. And that’s fine, but”¦ I’ve seen it. And here, I’ve seen it done better. The narrative doesn’t hold me for HALO the way many others have.

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Maybe it’s because it feels so short. Maybe it might be a bit too easy (well, except on Legendary). Maybe it’s because, even in the third chapter of this trilogy, the ending isn’t very”¦ satisfying. Or maybe the team spent too much time putting all it’s efforts into the multiplayer, which, yes, you can even experience through the campaign. Adding a scoring mode for co-op (both in two player split screen or 4 player online flavors) is nice, and the addition of hidden power-up skulls adds a cool dimension to the otherwise one-sided play-along”¦but it’s still just the same boring story”¦ with your friends in on it too.

There are many things that HALO 3 does right, I will give it that. The multiplayer is top notch and one of the driving points of the game. The ability to, mid-match, kick someone who is trash talking or generally being a douche nozzle is amazing, and is a step in the right direction for multiplayer games everywhere. The four player co-op is great too, with friends tearing up personal score boards just to see who really is a crack shot. But the main story, the main reason to “finish the fight” leaves you wanting, and for me, the story is the most important detail. As a multiplayer game, HALO 3 gets the high marks”¦ but the single player experience drops them down again. A game has to have something to keep me playing, wanting to see the end”¦ and HALO 3 doesn’t.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Ratings From Greatest to Least:

Kick Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (aka CRAPTACULAR)

 

September 28, 2007

Trailer Park: Missy Peregrym

Filed under: Columns,Interviews,Quickcasts,Trailer Park,Video — admin @ 4:28 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Here’s how I can tell that I’m getting to know Missy pretty well: I can so spell her name without having to look it up to see if that’s really how you spell P-e-r-e-g-r-y-m. It’s like the back of my hand at this point.

One of the reasons, though, that I genuinely looked forward to Comic-Con this year, and how it was honestly one of the most satisfying trips I’ve taken to San Diego, was that Missy is always an entertaining interview; she’s completely honest about what she’s doing, she’s never at a loss to tell it like it is and I can’t help but be amazed by the joie de vivre she possesses.

Missy has a way of navigating the cutthroat waters of life in Los Angeles by simply shrugging at the absurdity of it all while carving out a resume that is slowly starting to generate more and more opportunities for the actress. From her stint on HEROES to her current run on the CW’s REAPER, and if you haven’t checked out the goodness that is the pilot episode I am sure those of you who are technically inclined can catch that wave somewhere on the Interwebs, Missy brings a freshness to roles that speak to her personality: charming and disarming.

It’s hard to dismiss the fact that she enjoys what she does and is thankful for what she has but she’s markedly different from any other vapid actress I’ve ever had the misfortune to interview from the standpoint that Missy, at the end of the day, is someone who embodies the axiom of good things happening to good people. With regard to her role as someone who plays opposite of a man who has to keep a day job with the devil Missy can simply do no evil.

To be sure, when Missy took the stage with her fellow REAPER cohorts at the panel in the biggest hall at the Comic-Con, exuding the same nonchalant attitude that has been present with every interview incarnation we’ve had, I had the feeling that if nothing else in life she can at least be someone who can say that she is who she is and isn’t about to compromise anything to get there. However, she could shill for The Ryde and hook a brother up with one of those cryptic “MMM…Burritos” shirts that she was rocking much to the amusement of this journalist during the interview I’m sure her conscious would turn a blind eye…

Now, since this is the last installment of my Comic-Con coverage I have to publicly give much love and many thanks to my anonymous and hardest working PR source that keeps allowing me to talk to Missy and others in her employ. You made the expense of getting to San Diego worth every cent I spent and I appreciate it. I still think you need to dress up better if you ever think about taking a photo with me again but I’m sure we can work on that next year.

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Download SDCC Missy Peregrym Interview:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 144.45 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 62.40 MB)

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Weekend Shopping Guide 9/28/07: On The Darkseid

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:25 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

In a world of slick softcover trade paperbacks collecting classic comic book stories, kudos must be paid to DC for presenting all four volumes of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World Omnibus (DC Comics, $49.99 SRP) on rough, high quality paper that preserves all of the four color bombast of Kirby’s sci-fi master-epic. The visuals are nothing short of eye-popping delights, and the storytelling is as giddily loopy as I remember. Volume 2 has just come out (Get the first volume – NOW!), featuring an introduction from Walt Simonson and an afterword by Mark Evanier. I can’t wait for the final two volumes.

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After loving the first season so much, I was leery that they’d somehow drop the ball in the second season of My Name Is Earl (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). Thankfully, my concern was quickly dismissed as soon as the season unrolled, and it proved to be as well-written, loony, and beautifully performed as the previous year (what other show would cast Norm MacDonald as the son of the character played by guest star Burt Reynolds?) The 4-disc box set features all 22 episodes, plus audio commentary on select episodes, web cam footage, bloopers, Earl as a telenovela, and more.

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Say what you will about the growing cult of Apatow, but the man does know how to put together a funny flick with a heart. Heck, I’d even go back as far as The Cable Guy with that assessment – which was long before the critical and financial success of 40-Year-Old Virgin. Apatow has managed it again, this time with partner-in-crime and star Seth Rogen (a schlubby Tom Hanks is as an apt description as any). Rogen stars as the developmentally arrested father-to-be in Knocked Up (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$30.98 SRP), whose condom-less one night stand with an E! on air host (Katherine Heigl) leads to a rocky road to becoming an adult. The 2-disc unrated extended edition is the way to go, featuring an audio commentary, deleted/alternate scenes, featurettes, video diaries, gag reels, and more.

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There’ve been any number of albums that have gotten deluxe treatment in recent years, but I’m ecstatic that Elvis Costello’s My Aim Is True (Hip-O, $29.98 SRP) has joined their ranks. The fully remastered album is loaded with 12 outtakes and demos, plus a bonus disc with a live performance from 1977 at the Nashville Rooms, as well as a 5 track soundcheck. Sweet.

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The cat and the mouse are back with the 3rd volume of the Tom & Jerry Spotlight Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP), featuring 35 classic duels – 15 of which are in CinemaScope widescreen – all of which look fantastic. Bonus materials include a featurette on the duo’s history, plus Joseph Barbera’s final Tom & Jerry short, The Karate Guard.

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I’ve waited years for Steven Wright to do another comedy album, and I’m happy to say that I Still Have a Pony (Comedy Central Records, $12.98 SRP) finds the low-key master in fine form. More, I say!

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Who knew William Friedkin still had it in him? While it’s no Exorcist, Bug (Lionsgate, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) is a disturbing character piece about an abused young waitress, fearful of her ex-husband, who begins an association with a drifter… Which leads to a psychological nightmare of disturbing proportions. Bonus features include an introduction, audio commentary, and interview with Friedkin.

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Long before he was intoning over unsolved mysteries, Robert Stack was gangbuster Elliot Ness in The Untouchables (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). The second volume of Season 1 is now available, featuring the final 14 episodes of the legendary show’s premiere, digitally remastered. The 4-disc set also features a bonus Lucy Show episode, “The Gun Moll”.

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If you’re in an anime mood this weekend, why not check out Tekkon Kinkreet (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$26.96 SRP), which is based on the manga Black & White, about a pair of street urchins who defend the city of Treasuretown from various evils, including Yakuza and aliens. Bonus features include an audio commentary, interviews, and a making-of documentary.

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I don’t know who I like more in the FBI meets mathematicians procedural Numb3rs (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$54.99 SRP) – David Krumholtz as the nerdy crime-solving mathematician alongside his FBI agent brother (Rob Morrow), or Judd Hirsch as their lovably eccentric father. The jury’s still out in that, and what’s also out if the complete third season – featuring all 24 episodes, plus commentaries, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a blooper reel, and more.

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What Tracy Ullman was to the 80’s, Catherine Tate is fast becoming in the new millennium. A master of character work, her Catherine Tate Show (SRO, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP) features characters that border on the grotesque (particularly foul-minded, elderly Nan), but the sketches are quite a laugh. The disc features all 6 episodes comprising series 1, but sadly no bonus materials.

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Like Raymond before it, its sister (brother?) show must also eventually come to end, and so it does with the complete 9th season of King Of Queens (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP). The 2-disc box set features all 12 episodes, but not a single bonus feature in sight.

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We all knew it was coming, and so we get the 2-disc special edition of the Oscar-nominated culture clash Babel (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$34.99 SRP), containing a feature-length production video diary from director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu.

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Fewer and fewer people are aware just what a funny comedian Robert Klein was in his prime when his comedy specials practically ruled cable. Rediscover Klein in the comprehensive box set Robert Klein: The HBO Specials 1975-2005 (SRO, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP), which collects 8 specials across 4-discs, with a newly recorded Klein interview as a bonus.

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Thousand-year-old invisible dogs, double agents, wicked twins, the cast of Laugh-In, and more can be found in the complete fourth season of I Dream Of Jeannie (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). The 4-disc box set features all 26 episodes, but there’s no magic to be found in the lack of bonus materials.

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Fans can experience the Jam live in concert direct from Italy courtesy of Pearl Jam: Immagine In Cornice (Rhino, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). There are no bonus materials, but certainly plenty of music.

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If you’ve got the yearning to put on a show but none of the drive, then why not sit back and watch the plucky cinematic duo of Mickey & Judy do it for you with enough energy a town in the 4 films contained in the Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.92 SRP). Fully remastered and as sparkling fresh as their stars, the four flicks are Babes In Arms, Strike Up The Band, Babes On Broadway, and Girl Crazy – and wouldn’t you know, they’ve all got introductions from Rooney, commentaries, radio shows, and more. In addition to a portfolio of photos, the set also contains a hardbound collector’s booklet with a bonus DVD containing additional goodies.

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Take another trip to visit the tenants of Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP) with the complete second season of Craig McCracken’s still-fun and still-imaginative kid comedy. The 2-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus promos, a music video, a gallery of friends, and end of episode gags.

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If you were to make Friends a dramedy and relocate it to LA – and make Ross into Barry Watson – you’d pretty much have What About Brian (Buena Vista, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP), The complete two season run is available in one hand 5-disc box set, featuring audio commentaries, featurettes, and an unaired episode.

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If you want a unique love story this weekend, check out the Middle East complicated lovers of Torn Apart (City Lights Home Entertainment, Rated R, DVD-$26.98 SRP), starring Adrian Pasdar and Cecillia Peck.

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Get some great tunes on the cheap via Universal Music’s new “Number Ones” line of releases (Hip-O, $13.98 SRP each), which feature over a dozen tracks spotlighting either an artist, genre, or period. The initial batch includes Hard Rock, Classic Disco, Kool & The Gang, Modern Rock, 60’s Soul, 70’s Soul, 80’s Soul, 90’s Soul, 60’s Pop, 70’s Pop, 80’s Pop, and Stevie Wonder. Heck, they even come in nifty Earth-friendly packaging, for all of you music-loving tree-huggers.

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It’s not Stephen King’s finest cinematic moment, but there have been far worse outings than Cujo (Lionsgate, Rated R, DVD-$19.98 SRP), which gets a 25th anniversary edition featuring an audio commentary and a 3-part making-of documentary.

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Docurama’s DVD-based film festival returns for another convenient bout of quality documentary viewing with a trio of new titles. Plagues & Pleasures On The Salton Sea (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP) focuses on the eccentric characters that make their lives around California’s infamous inland ocean, with bonus interviews, audio commentaries, shorts, and more. Building Bombs (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP) shines the spotlight on the sleepy South Carolina town of Aiken, which is home to America’s nuclear bomb-making apparatus – bonus features include interviews, rare archival films, a gallery, and a featurette on the film’s censorship by PBS. Finally, there’s The Panama Deception (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP), about the reasons behind the 1989 invasion of Panama, featuring bonus interviews, featurettes, and more.

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Karl Malden & Michael Douglas return in the second volume of The Streets of San Francisco‘s first season (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP), featuring the final 13 episodes of the duo’s TV exploits as a pair of homicide detectives on the beat in the city by the bay. Where’s my Douglas commentary?

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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QSE News: Week In Review – 9/28/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:03 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • The world’s most renowned mime, Marcel Marceau, has passed away at the age of 84. Cause of death was not known at press time, but speculation is that he ran out of air while trying to find his way out of an invisible box.
  • The highly anticipated video game Halo 3 has finally been released. Sales for the last installment of the wildly successful franchise topped $124 million in the first 24 hours. Due to the game’s release, IT offices and departments across the country will be closed for the next two weeks.
  • The Sex Pistols have reunited to record versions of the band’s hits for the next installment of the Guitar Hero video game. The band will also be performing several shows around the UK to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of Never Mind the Bollocks. The band had contemplated digging up dead Sex Pistol Sid Vicious for the events but decided no one would notice if he was playing anyways.
  • Reports say actress Jessica Biel is up for the role of Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League film. The movie is being rushed (always a good sign) through production in hopes of finishing the project before the possibility of a strike. After the news was released, every man alive spent the next 15 minutes daydreaming… with erections. In related news, Linda Carter is still old.
  • The 90’s pop powerhouse EMF, who you’ll remember from the song “Unbelievable”, is reuniting. The band last performed together in 2002. Upon hearing the news, music fans across the country said “who the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] is EMF?”
  • Work has already started on a sequel to the hugely successful film Transformers. Director Michael Bay has already expressed interest in returning to helm the next film. According to a DreamWorks rep, once all the parts have been cast, a budget set, and special effects started, they hope to find someone to write the film.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 9/28/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:54 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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September 27, 2007

Win The Second Season of My Name is Earl!

Filed under: Contests — widge @ 3:38 am


In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re celebrating the DVD release of the complete second season of MY NAME IS EARL by giving away 4 copies of the feature-laden box set.

All you have to do to enter is fill out the entry form below”¦

Contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, October 1st.

Contest is closed. Thanks for playing.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 9/27/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:14 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • When they call them “dirty tricks”, they’re not kidding… (Thingamabob)
  • Behind the scenes with Fred & Wilma – Henry Corden and Jean Vander Pyl… (Thingamabob)
  • A Cartoon medley – with percussion!… (Thingamabob)

September 26, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 9/26/2007 – Jerry Juhl Day Edition

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s time to get a bit silly, in honor of Jerry Juhl. Let’s start with an appearance from Queen Victoria and Richard III… (Thingamabob)
  • Grab a bowl of chocolate mousse while you’re at it… (Thingamabob)
  • And, when you want to end it silly, end it with Dom Deluise… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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September 25, 2007

Cabin Fever #04: In The Navy

Filed under: Cabin Fever — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:42 pm

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Oh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

cabin.jpgCabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #04: In The Navy – I’m finally getting around to posting this weeks show. We recorded it in the early part of last week, with only 3 days between it and the previous recording. Hectic. This week myself and Brian chat about semen, Halo 3, and the movies coming up over the next year that are getting me excited (leading back to the first topic on the list). Hope you enjoy.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #04 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/cabinfever/cabin_fever_04.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

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DVD Late Show: Popcorn Cinema

Filed under: DVD Late Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:31 am

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9/25/07

Welcome back to the Late Show. The last couple of installments skewed a bit heavily toward major studio releases, so I thought it was time to get back to the real “popcorn cinema” and devote a column to a batch of recent and upcoming “B” movie DVDs.

With that in mind, I’ve dug a Corman drive-in classic, an offbeat kaiju flick, a couple of European sexploitation “shockers,” and some brand new, ultra low budget exploitation movies out of the review stack. Let’s check ’em out, shall we?

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At the height of his popularity as “Richie Cunningham” on HAPPY DAYS, actor Ron Howard was offered a part in a Roger Corman-produced, country car chase movie. Now, Corman says he didn’t actually expect the red-haired TV icon to accept, but Howard agreed to do the flick ““ if Corman promised him an opportunity to direct another. The resulting film, EAT MY DUST (1976), went on to become one of the biggest drive-in hits of the era, and one of the highest grossing films released by Corman’s original New World company.

The plot ““ if I may dignify it with such a term ““ is simple: to impress a shallow, speed freak blonde in itty-bitty hotpants (soap opera mainstay Christopher Norris, AIRPORT 1975), Hoover Niebold (Howard), the son of the local sheriff (veteran character actor Warren J. Kemmerling, GODZILLA 1985), steals a stock car and takes her on a reckless joyride across rural Puckerbush County. Soon, his father and a bunch of deputies ““ as well as a posse of drunken racecar drivers ““ are on the kids’ tail, resulting in plenty of high-speed pursuits, car crashes and other blatant traffic violations.

With, ironically, pedestrian script & direction by Corman vet Charles B. Griffith, EAT MY DUST is pretty thin, nonsensical stuff. But I’ll give it this: it keeps moving, is never boring, and the ending is rather perfect. That said, Howard’s follow-up for Corman, GRAND THEFT AUTO, is a much better movie.

An aside: something I find interesting, since it’s from a producer known more for imitation than innovation, is that EAT MY DUST actually predates, by a year or so, the whole SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT/DUKES OF HAZZARD phenomenon of the late Seventies. Hmmm.

Buena Vista’s new “Supercharged Edition” sports a decent, if unremarkable, 1.33:1 full frame transfer and Dolby stereo sound. The meager extras include an introduction by producer Roger Corman, the original theatrical trailer, and a retrospective documentary, “How to Crash on a Dime,” which features on-camera interviews with lead actress Norris, as well as he film’s stunt coordinator and film editor. Unfortunately, as on the GRAND THEFT AUTO disc, there’s no participation by Howard himself.

It’s not a classic, but it’s a fun example of 70’s drive-in fare. For fans of the car chase genre, EAT MY DUST is worth checking out.

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When an evil corporation (What? Another one?) illegally dumps some biogenetic toxic waste into a small rural lake, it isn’t long before ravenous mutant fishmen rise from its murky depths to slaughter the local population of beer-swilling, inbred rednecks.

That’s the high concept of Pop Cinema’s CREATURE FROM THE HILLBILLY LAGOON (2007), one of the latest releases in their Shock-O-Rama exploitation/horror line.

Directed by Richard Griffin, HILLBILLY LAGOON is a hilariously bad, cartoonish horror comedy with a silly script, terrible, campy acting by a strictly amateurish cast, and goofy gore effects. On the other hand, it’s surprisingly entertaining, rather well shot, the music’s pretty good, and the creature suits aren’t bad, either. I even like the art on the DVD cover. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s one of those so-bad-it’s-kinda-good flicks, in a TOXIC AVENGER sort of way.

Pop Cinema’s DVD offers up the shot-on-digital video feature with a very respectable 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. The disc includes a commentary track by director Griffin, a Behind the Scenes featurette, some deleted scenes, and the usual Shock-O-Rama Trailer Vault.

Definitely worth a rental for schlock-oholics.

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I’ve written before about my admiration and appreciation for low-budget filmmaker and effects maestro Brett Piper (SHOCK-O-RAMA, SCREAMING DEAD), so I was excited when his latest film for Pop Cinema’s Shock-O-Rama label, BACTERIUM (2007), showed up in my mailbox. Needless to say, I had the disc out of its shrinkwrap and spinning in my Sony within minutes.

A group of young paintball players stumble across a seemingly abandoned mansion. Investigating, they find a deranged scientist conducting experiments in the basement. Realizing that this isn’t a good thing, they decide to bail, only to find the building surrounded by armed soldiers who will not let them leave. Turns out that the doc is on the run from the government with a virulent bioweapon, and they’re trapped with him and the rapidly reproducing and growing flesh-eating organism. The question then becomes: can they escape ““ without becoming infected themselves ““ before the government takes decisive action to contain the bacterial threat?

With better-than-average production values and acting for a shot-on-video production, the PG-13 rated BACTERIUM is a nifty little 50’s styled sci-fi thriller, reminiscent of British films like THE CREEPING UNKNOWN and FIEND WITHOUT A FACE, with a bit of THE BLOB thrown in for good measure. A definite highlight is Piper’s handcrafted “bacterium” effects, which appear to combine stop-motion and puppetry with detailed miniature sets.

The Pop Cinema DVD presents the digital video feature in a nice, crisp 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. The limited extras include a short, but informative “Making Of” featurette, a commentary track by Piper and producer Michael Raso, and a slew of Shock-O-Rama trailers.

Considering the budget and limited resources, BACTERIUM really delivers the old school sci-fi shivers, and may be Piper’s best film to date. Imaginative, witty, and remarkably well made, BACTERIUM is enthusiastically recommended for fans of indie horror and sci-fi.

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Another mutated single-cell life form causes havoc in Inshiro Honda’s (GOJIRA) kaiju spoof, SPACE AMOEBA (GEZORA, GANIME, KAMEBA: KESSEN! NANKAI NO DAIKAIJÛ, 1970), the last non-Godzilla film from the man who pretty much defined the genre.

An alien organism catches a ride on a space probe returning to Earth, which crashes into the Pacific near a small, tropical island inhabited only by a few native fisherman and a group of entrepreneurs planning a tourist resort. Unfortunately for them, the organism soon causes three local sea creatures ““ a cuttlefish, a turtle and a shrimp ““ to mutate into giant monsters”¦ and they’re hungry.

The film is a colorful, fast-paced kaiju fantasy that is, in many ways, an affectionate satire of the studio’s successful and popular GODZILLA series and Toho’s other kaiju klassics. In fact, while SPACE AMOEBA eschews the usual model city smashing and mass armies of model tanks, it offers the viewer an enjoyable tropical romp with some truly inspired monster designs, marvelous vintage effects, plenty of action, and lots of intentional humor.

The recent DVD from Media Blasters/Tokyo Shock presents the film (originally released to America as YOG, MONSTER FROM SPACE) in a beautiful, almost flawless 2.35 anamorphic widescreen transfer. The movie’s been given a new 5.1 Surround mix, and includes both English and Japanese dialogue tracks. There’s a commentary by producer Fumio Tanaka, a documentary on the three real-world sea animals that Toho reimagined as giant monsters for the film, and two original Japanese theatrical trailers.

For fans of Japanese giant monster films looking for something a bit different, SPACE AMOEBA is highly recommended.

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Dark Sky Films is about to unleash a new, Director’s Cut edition, of Jack Hill’s seminal horror comedy, SPIDER BABY (1968), and as a fan of the film, I’m thrilled.

The twisted story centers on the remaining members of the Merrye family ““ Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), Virginia (Jill Banner) and Ralph (Sid Haig, THE DEVIL’S REJECTS) ““ three adult “children” who suffer from a rare genetic disease which causes them to mentally regress as they age. Under the guardianship of chauffeur Bruno (screen icon Lon Chaney Jr., THE WOLF MAN), the Merrye “children” live in the isolated family mansion, away from the outside world. This is necessary because their condition instills in them a childishly cruel bloodlust. When a pair of distant relatives and their lawyer show up with designs on the family estate, an evening of horror and madness begins.

Shot under the title CANNIBAL ORGY: OR THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD, director Hill’s (FOXY BROWN, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) is a sublime black comedy that pays affectionate homage to classic horror films while foreshadowing the psychotic killer-styled terror that would soon come into vogue. Deftly mixing humor and horror, with charming performances by Chaney, the late Jill Banner and the rest of the cast, SPIDER BABY is somehow genuinely creepy and disturbing, yet a lot of fun to watch.

Previously issued some years ago by Image Entertainment, this version restores some previously deleted footage and sports a brand-new, hi-def transfer from the original 35mm negative, along with a number of new bonus features. The beautiful black & white photography of Alfred Taylor is well served by the new 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, as is Ronald Stein’s bouncy-but-eerie score by the Dolby Digital mono tracks. None of the Image extras are included (which included a Hill commentary and cast reunion), but Dark Sky has assembled a fine batch of new material for this release. There’s a new commentary by Hill and actor Sid Haig, a retrospective documentary featuring pretty much all the surviving cast and major crewmembers, a short featurette focusing on composer Ronald Stein, a new visit to the “Merrye House” location, a still gallery, the CANNIBAL ORGY alternate opening credits, and an extended scene.

SPIDER BABY is one of the great cult films, and Dark Sky has given it a definitive release. If you own the Image disc, you may want to hang onto it for the old extras, but this new edition is a must-buy.

Highly and enthusiastically recommended.

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It seems like there have been a fair number of films and TV shows lately with “seeing the future/past” gimmicks, and the latest one to come across my desk is the Nicholas Cage vehicle, NEXT (2007).

Cage plays a small-time Vegas “psychic” and magician who actually can see the future ““ his own future, anyway, and then only two minutes ahead. This allows him to make a killing at the gaming tables, and inadvertently brings him to the attention of FBI agent Ferris (Julianne Moore, HANNIBAL), who wants his help in defusing a terrorist plot. But Cage only wants to pursue his destiny with his dream girl (Jessica Biel, BLADE TRINITY), and goes on the run.

NEXT isn’t a genre classic, but it’s certainly a decent enough 90 minutes of undemanding entertainment, with good performances, exciting action scenes and a fairly involving storyline. The ending may annoy some viewers, but I thought it gave the flick a nice, TWILIGHT ZONE sort of denouement.

Paramount’s DVD presents NEXT in a solid 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and Dolby Digital 5.1 sound, all pretty standard for a brand new release. Not a lot of extras ““ a couple of featurettes and some trailers ““ but the movie isn’t really demanding a full-fledged “special edition,” anyway.

An unremarkable but entertaining mainstream thriller with a sci-fi flavor; recommended for a weekend rental.

DVD LATE SHOW CAPSULE REVIEWS!

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CHEECH & CHONG’S UP IN SMOKE (1978). I’m about as boringly straight as a guy can be, but I can still get a chuckle or two out of stoner comedies, especially when they star Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong. In this, their first feature film, the boys smoke a dogshit doobie, try to score pot off a psychotic Vietnam vet (Tom Skerritt, THE DEVIL’S RAIN), are conned into smuggling a van made of marijuana (!) into the U.S. from Mexico, are pursued by a hard-nosed cop (Stacy Keach, MIKE HAMMER), and win a battle of the bands. Paramount’s new special edition is loaded with features, beginning with a very solid anamorphic widescreen transfer and a new Dolby 5.1 Surround sound mix. The disc also includes a commentary track by Cheech Marin and director Lou Adler, a handful of deleted scenes, a retrospective documentary, an animated music video, and vintage advertising (which shows that Paramount’s PR department had no idea at all how to sell this picture back in ’78!). For fans, this is definitely worth picking up.

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WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE DOUBLE FEATURE: DRAGON PRINCESS/KARATE WARRIORS (1976). Two classic Sonny Chiba (STREET FIGHTER, KILL BILL) martial arts exploitation films from the swingin’ Seventies are presented as a “grindhouse” double feature, complete with appropriate trailers and other theater programming. In DRAGON PRINCESS, Chiba is defeated in personal combat by a rival and blinded in one eye. in shame, he leaves Tokyo and heads to New York City, where he trains his young daughter (Etsuko Shihomi, a/k/a Sue Shiomi, SISTER STREET FIGHTER) in the killing arts, so that she may someday avenge his honor. KARATE WARRIORS is a contemporary (1976), urban remake of YOJIMBO, with Chiba playing two gangs against each other in order to wipe them both out. Great stuff. BCI has given both films decent 2.35:1 anamorphic transfers, that show some age and wear, but are far better than any previous U.S. home video release. Viva Chiba!

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THE COMPLETE UNDERDOG ULTIMATE COLLECTION Vols. 1-3 (1964). Forget the recent lameass theatrical film, this is the real deal. Classic Media’s digitally remastered 18 episodes of the original UNDERDOG cartoon, and packed them onto three awesome collector’s discs. The full-frame transfers have been cleaned up a bit from previous home video releases, although these 40-year old toons still show some age-related wear and have somewhat faded colors. But who cares? The witty, clever scripts, top-notch voice acting and attractive ““ if limited ““ animation still provide plenty of smart entertainment for kids and nostalgic adults. In addition, the discs include various bonus features ““ trivia quizes, sing-alongs, storyboards, etc. Good stuff, and worth picking up for cartoon fans.

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FACE/OFF: SPECIAL COLLECTOR’S EDITION (1997). His recent films may be kinda unmemorable, but I don’t care; John Woo (HARD BOILED, THE KILLER) is still my favorite living action director. This sci-fi cops & robbers thriller, starring John Travolta and Nicholas Cage, is, despite a ludicrous central premise, probably Woo’s last good film to date, and the best he’s made in Hollywood. Stylish direction, top-notch action sequences with human stuntwork, solid acting, and a script that leavens the outrageous storyline about a cop and a terrorist who switch faces and identities with heaping helpings of sentiment and heart, combine to make an enjoyable, fast-paced, cinematic experience. Paramount’s new 2-disc Collector’s Edition offers a sterling 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and both Dolby 5.1 and 6.1 DTS sound, commentary tracks by Woo and the film’s screenwriters, 7 deleted scenes and an alternate ending, an exhaustive “Making of Documentary,” and a John Woo biography. I like this movie a lot, and if you do, too, this new edition is highly recommended.

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SCHOOLGIRL REPORT Vol. 1 & 2 (1970-71). These two German sexploitation gems pretend to be serious documentaries about the “terrifying” sexual liberation of 70’s Teutonic teenyboppers, with authoritative narration, woman-on-the-street interviews and elaborate “re-enactments” that just coincidentally display copious amounts of attractive, nubile Euro-flesh in highly eroticized situations. Of course, the films warn that all this unbridled, uninhibited behavior leads inevitably to grim retribution ““ a teenager seduces a school bus driver and is expelled; another bunch of female students seduce their hirsute science teacher only to have him commit suicide; a virgin’s first sexual experience results in pregnancy ““ you know, just like in real life. Impulse Pictures presents these first two installments of the long-running series, directed by Ernst Hofbauer, in their original German, with English subtitles. The 1.66:1 anamorphic transfers are a bit worn and faded, but are presented uncut. There are no extras. For collectors of vintage sexploitation, these campy, softcore “classics” are worth checking out.

Thanks for spending some time with me today. Next time, I hope to have a few “Midnite Movie” reviews, as well as looks at FROM BEYOND, THE LOST WORLD, VANESSA, CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS, THE INTRUDER (with William Shatner!), UNHOLY and more.

For older Late Show columns (adding up to well over 200 reviews!), visit the recently revamped DVD Late Show website and archive. For additional pop culture musings, occasional DVD previews and lots of shameless self-promotion, you might try checking out my blog.

Comments, DVD questions, review requests and offers of money can be sent to: dvdlateshow@atomicpulp.com

 

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 9/25/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:24 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • As anyone reading this column as of late will surely know, I’ve been on a Nintendo streak lately, borne largely out of nostalgia. In that vein, I present you with the nightmares of my early 90’s teen-aged gaming brain made extant – I give you Level 1 of what has been dubbed “Asshole Mario”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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September 24, 2007

SModcast 30

Filed under: SModcast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:22 am

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SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 30: Smith and Wesson –

In which our heroes craft the ultimate form of punishment for a crime ripped from the headlines, debate the implementation and ethics of said ultimate punishment, and then answer questions from SMod fans.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 30 (MP3 format) – 48.22 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes
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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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Scrubs Blog: My Emmy Award

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:04 am

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VIDEO BLOG #89: “My Emmy Award” ““
We chat with Production Sound Mixer Joe Foglia about his recent Emmy award, the crew that made it all possible, and what exactly a “Production Sound Mixer” does on the show.

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #89:

Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 80.65 MB)
Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 35.83 MB)
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Comics in Context #195: Deviant Behavior

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 12:03 am

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cic2007-09-17.jpgThis week I continue my exploration of the recent Eternals series written by Neil Gaiman and drawn by John Romita, Jr., reviving the characters and concepts from Jack Kirby’s last great comics series. Both series are now available from Marvel in hardcover collections.

When I left off last week, I wrote about the scene in Gaiman’s first issue in which medical student Mark Curry is first confronted by a blond stranger with gold-colored eyes who says that Curry is actually “an immortal, indestructible being” who has lost his memory. Readers who are familiar with the Eternals will recognize the stranger as Ikaris the Eternal and will deduce from the name “Mark Curry” that Mark is another Eternal, Makkari.

As I noted last week, readers of Kirby’s original Eternals series may be surprised by Mark’s physical appearance. Whereas in the original series and his other previous appearances, Makkari has been portrayed with typical Caucasian skin color, in the Gaiman/Romita series he has brown skin. I am advised that this was intended to show that Curry was from either Greece or Italy, since people from Mediterranean countries have darker skin. Well, then, wouldn’t the other “Olympian Eternals” from Greece–Zuras, Thena, Sersi, and Ajak–have dark skin, too? There’s no established convention at Marvel or DC of portraying characters with Greek or Italian background with brown skin: think of Kirby’s Hercules in Thor, or Gaiman’s Orpheus from Sandman, or even Wonder Woman! Moreover, although Kirby never depicted Makkari without his helmet (A crash helmet for traveling in super-fast vehicles?), subsequent stories have established that he has reddish-blond hair (as noted here) and sometimes portrayed him with just plain blond hair (look at the picture of Makkari as a member of the Monster Hunters here), not Mark Curry’s black hair. John Romita, Jr. draws Mark Curry’s facial features distinctly differently than the unmasked Makkari’s looked in his appearances in series like Quasar.

So to make sense out of this in terms of continuity, I have to assume that Makkari’s physical appearance underwent a change at some point. As I hypothesized last week, possibly Sprite did it when he created a new identity for Makkari, or perhaps Makkari, as an Eternal with “absolute mental control” his body, did it himself.

By the way, in doing further research, I have discovered that Makkari previously went under the alias of “Mac Curry” (rather than Mark, which I still find preferable) in Roger Stern and John Byrne’s Marvel: The Lost Generation #2 (January 2001). (Lost Generation was a very imaginative series that created an enormous number of superheroes who operated between the Golden Age of the 1940s and the debut of the Fantastic Four–including a delightful female Eternal named Pixie–and deserves to be revived in a trade paperback reprint collection.)

Ikaris is indeed correct that Mark Curry has lost his memory of being Makkari. Further research has reminded me that Marvel has done this theme of godlike beings suffering amnesia before, only a decade ago. To stave off the threat of Ragnarok, Odin wiped out the memories of the Asgardians and created new identities for them on Earth. This “Lost Gods” story arc ran in the 1990s Journey into Mystery series while Thor was off in the “Heroes Reborn” version of The Avengers. This is a further indication that Gaiman is working with what seems to be an archetypal storyline: the seemingly ordinary mortal who is unaware of his true heroic or even godlike identity. Even Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s origin of Marvel’s Thor (Thor #159, December 1968), in which Odin transforms him into the mortal Don Blake, who is unaware of his godly identity until he finds his hammer, fits this pattern.

Mark Curry dismisses Ikaris’s message and walks away from him, but Ikaris has nonetheless triggered a memory: Curry thinks of Ikaris’s “gold-colored eyes I’m sure I’ve seen before” (Gaiman Eternals #1 p. 5).

Significantly, Curry thinks of Ikaris as “a religious maniac” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 6). Of course, Ikaris is correct about who and what Curry truly is. I am not arguing that Gaiman is literally making a case for religious faith in his Eternals series. The superhero genre deals in metaphors, and the Celestials, who created the Eternals, are “space gods” who are metaphors for God. But I suspect that through Eternals Gaiman is making the case that there is more to life, the universe, and individuals including ourselves, than meets the eye, or that can be defined by science. Indeed, this is a case that the literature of the fantastic makes just as religion does.

It is also significant that, following his encounter with Ikaris, Curry tells us how empty his life (which, Ikaris knows, is not his true life) is: he goes home to an empty apartment to find an unpaid bill, “no girlfriend, no cat, and nothing on TV” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 6).

The “nothing” that is on TV is a stereotypically stupid sitcom for “˜tweens called It’s Just So Sprite, whose title is its catchphrase. (Gaiman may have the same negative attitude towards sitcom catchphrases that Ricky Gervais shows in Extras.) This banal show, complete with a nonstop laugh track, fits the impression of emptiness in Curry’s solitary life.

Past Eternals readers will realize that the show’s lead character, Sprite, is another Eternal from the Kirby series. The TV refers to Sprite’s upcoming “all-star concert at the Hollywood Bowl.” In interviews Gaiman has said that he wanted to define the role of the Eternals in the Marvel Universe, as opposed to its other superheroes. Here Gaiman subtly introduces this theme. The Eternals are meant to serve the “space gods” and protect the Earth; Sprite, on the other hand, has embarked on a show biz career appealing to the lowest common denominator. (The Eternals‘ other show business star, Kingo Sunen, apparently worked with Akira Kurosawa and had a much more artistically respectable career.) It’s as if in Amazing Fantasy #15 (1962) Spider-Man continued performing stunts on TV instead of becoming a costumed crimefighter.

Curry is overwhelmed by exhaustion, which he attributes to his busy life. But I wonder if the real cause is his deep dissatisfaction with his life. “I want to sleep. I want to sleep so bad it hurts” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 6). This looks like a symptom of deep depression to me. It’s as if he wants to be dead to the world.

And then comes a tapping at Curry’s window, he responds, and it turns out to be Ikaris again, the Campbellian herald issuing the call to adventure for a second time, standing out on the fire escape. This time he identifies himself as “Ike Harris,’ his alias from Kirby’s The Eternals #1.

Again, “Ike” speaks in terms that could be interpreted as religious: “I’m talking about the purpose of life. The meaning of everything. Why we’re here” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 7). As a medical student, Curry responds with a scientific explanation, arguing that the creation of life came about by sheer accident. As far as Curry is concerned, there is no higher meaning to existence. Without allowing “Ike” to make his case, Curry rejects his “nutso-religion.” Notice how Curry identifies himself as a man of science, not of religion: “Dude, I’m a doctor. Well, I’m a med student.”

Even that “dude” has a certain significance. As The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe put it, Makkari “retains an adolescent fervor, especially for his interest in building and riding vehicles that move faster than he himself can with his superhuman powers.” (Trapped in a life that does not suit him, Mark Curry is pictured immobile and exhausted in his apartment, rather than racing at high speed. As “Ike” tells Mark on page 8, “You like going fast.”) The late Mark Gruenwald used to write Makkari in Quasar as a counterpart to the youthful, somewhat naive Lightray in Kirby’s “Fourth World” books. Mark Curry’s calling Ikaris “dude” suggests a certain adolescent spirit.

But rereading Kirby’s Eternals, I didn’t see his version of Makkari as having “adolescent” high spirits so much as he was short-tempered. Kirby’s Makkari is repeatedly short-tempered with Sersi, impatient with her lighthearted attitude. And you see Makkari’s temper in Mark Curry’s early interactions with “Ike Harris.”

Notice how in the fire escape scene Ikaris’s coat flies out behind him, as if it were a superhero’s cape. (Frank Miller employs the same trick for his heroes’ coats in Sin City. The black and white shot of Ikaris in the rain in the third panel of page 12 even looks like a Sin City panel.) Ikaris heads off for the “Royer Building” (Gaiman issue 1, page 8), whose name is a homage to Mike Royer, inker of the Kirby Eternals series.

The next pages reintroduce another Eternal, Sersi. She does not recall being an Eternal either, but one of her main interests in life–partying– remains intact: Sersi is embarking on a career as a party planner. She even wears green, the color of her Eternal costume, throughout the issue.

Gaiman’s handling of Sersi reminds me of other latter-day bohemian characters in his work. Sersi may be unkillable, but I can imagine her getting along quite well with Gaiman’s Death character.

On page 12 “Ike” stands on a small tower atop a building, which is the closest he can come to standing on a mountaintop, as “gods” traditionally do. Making the point explicit, Gaiman and Romita shift to what appears to be Ikaris’s memory of standing on an actual snowy mountaintop with his fellow Eternal, Thena, as they discuss their race’s affinity for cold climates. according to Kirby, Ikaris is a “Polar Eternal,” who dwelled on mountains in Siberia. On the other hand, Thena’s home was the Eternals’ city of Olympia, atop Mount Olympus in Greece, and Kirby drew the city to look as if it had an idyllic, sunny, warm climate. Thena may not really be that fond of cold weather; then again, we discover later in Gaiman’s series that Ikaris’s memories are imperfect.

Thena compliments Ikaris on being “a delightful bedmate. . . .But you do not think” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 13). Thena is modeled on Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom, so thinking is especially important to her. Gaiman’s revelation that Ikaris and Thena are former lovers fits in with his later revelation that Sersi was once Makkari’s lover. Gaiman is suggesting that since the Eternals are so long-lived, over the millennia they would inevitably have gotten around to such sexual liaisons. (Now there’s an appealing fantasy: if only I and certain women I know were unaging immortals. . . .)

“Ike” is confronted by two sinister strangers, who will eventually be revealed as members of the Deviants, the Eternals’ perennial enemies. The Deviants attack Ikaris, clearly hurt him, and knock him unconscious. It is unclear whether Ikaris possesses his Eternal superhuman strength at this point in the story, but the two Deviants probably do. (These assassins, traveling in a pair, may remind Gaiman readers of Mr. Croup and the taller, stronger Mr. Vandemar of Neverwhere, albeit minus Mr. Croup’s gift for language. See “Comics in Context” #18.) The larger Deviant throws Ikaris off the top of the building, perhaps reminding us that Ikaris’ namesake, the mythological figure Icarus, fell from the sky to his death. The large Deviant throws a bomb after him, which detonates.

Sersi gets her first party planning assignment from Ivan Druig, Deputy Prime Minister of the fictional former Soviet republic of Vorozheika, which is now an independent nation. I’m amused by the lettering style used to indicate that Druig and his associate are speaking in Russian, translated for our benefit, with “N’s” and “O’s” made to look like letters of the Cyrillic alphabet. (Actually the letter resembling a backwards “N” represents an “E” sound, and the letter resembling a bisected “O” represents our “F.”) Walt Kelly used to use a similar trick for the dialogue of the Russian characters in Pogo.

“Ivan Druig” is really just plain Druig, who. like Ikaris, is one of the Polar Eternals. It’s appropriate that Druig is an official in a former Soviet republic, since he was a member of the K. G. B. in the Kirby series.

Druig was also the villain in the Kirby Eternals‘ final story arc. One of the flaws in the Kirby series is its lack of a great villain, to provide a worthy adversary for its noteworthy heroes. Zakka, Tutinax, Dromedan and the Deviants’ leader, Brother Tode, all suffer from one-dimensional personalities; they lack the sort of grandeur, color, and memorable individuality that we would expect from the co-creator of Doctor Doom. It’s as if, having created such a monumental figure of evil in Darkseid for the Fourth World books at DC, Kirby felt that he couldn’t top himself. (However, while he was doing The Eternals, Kirby was also writing and drawing Captain America and the Falcon, in which he admirably handled the Red Skull and created another memorable villain, Arnim Zola, yet another of his genetic engineers.)

Druig and Ikaris are cousins, reminiscent of Kirby’s many pairings of heroes with evil siblings: Thor and Loki, Professor Xavier and the Juggernaut, Black Bolt and Maximus, Orion and Kalibak. Druig also enjoys engaging in torture, a passion that links him to Darkseid’s underling Desaad. But Druig pales in comparison with all of these predecessors. As Gaiman’s Eternals continues, he improves upon Kirby’s characterization, sharpening the portrait of Druig’s sadism, but still doesn’t elevate him to star villain status.

The one truly distinctive and memorable adversary in Kirby’s Eternals series is the Deviant warlord Kro (who is not to be confused with Gaiman’s Deviant named Kra), yet Kro is arguably more an antihero than a true villain. Kro is one of the greatest characters in Kirby’s Eternals, so it surprising that Gaiman chose not to use him.

There is a potentially great villain in the Eternals mythos, but he appears in neither Kirby’s series nor Gaiman’s, as we shall see.

Learning of a “miracle survivor” of a bombing, Mark Curry somehow realizes that it is Ikaris (perhaps because Ikaris had implied that he was indestructible) and goes to his bedside for their third meeting. It seems right that it is in their third encounter that Curry finally responds to the “call,” at least in limited fashion. “Are you ready to listen?” asks Ikaris. “I guess,” Curry responds (Gaiman issue 1 p. 18). That may not seem a very positive response, but notice that this time Curry went to Ikaris, rather than Ikaris coming to him. Perhaps Curry is willing to listen this time because Ikaris’s survival of the fall and bombing does seem like a literal “miracle.”

Longtime Eternals aficionados might be surprised to see Ikaris covered with bandages and clearly seriously injured. In the past Marvel stories and Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe entries have treated the Eternals’ physical “durability” as if it were like Superman’s invulnerability. This is true even in what we see on panel in the Kirby Eternals stories. For example, when Ikaris combats the “cosmic-powered,” superhumanly strong Hulk robot in issues 14 through 16, Ikaris’s face is not bloodied and his bones are not broken.

In issue one of the Gaiman series, Ikaris has not fully regained his Eternal powers, as later issues make explicit. But it also appears that Gaiman is playing the Eternals’ indestructibility more like the “fast healing” ability popularized by Wolverine.

Dialogue in the Kirby series supports this approach. He emphasizes that “Eternals can be hurt but they cannot die” (Kirby Eternals hardcover, p. 48). When the cosmic-powered Hulk threatens to drop Makkari off a rooftop (a fate similar to what Ikaris suffers in the Gaiman series), Sersi worries that “the fall will not kill him–but it could injure him for eternity” (Kirby p. 284), suggesting there are limits to the fast healing power, Shortly afterwards during the battle with the robot Hulk, a concerned Ikaris warns Sersi that “you have a lovely neck, but it can easily be snapped” (Kirby p. 290). Some of us at Marvel found amusement in Kirby’s contention that “Eternals can’t die. . .but they can be twisted out of shape for all time!” (Kirby, p. 305).

Gaiman indicates that there are seemingly no limits to the Eternals’ self-healing power. In his last issue Makkari challenges the Deviant leader: “Take my head, and I will still come back, stronger, faster” (Gaiman issue 7, p. 16), implying that he could even grow his head back. (Or would the head grow its body back? This might also be an allusion to a classic work of medieval literature, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, in which the latter survives beheading.)

On page 19 we learn that Thena, now known as Dr. Thena Eliot, is currently working for Tony Stark, developing a new weapon. This makes sense, inasmuch as Thena is based on Athena, the Greek goddess of both war and wisdom. Designing advanced weaponry combines both fields.

Although Mister Fantastic makes a brief cameo appearance, there are three longtime Marvel superheroes who play important roles in the Gaiman Eternals: Iron Man (Tony Stark), Yellowjacket (Henry Pym), and the Wasp (Janet Van Dyne). These are three major heroes of Marvel’s Silver Age who were not included in Gaiman’s previous Marvel series, 1602, so it is gratifying that Gaiman found ways to use them in Eternals.

This brings up the subject of whether Jack Kirby intended the Eternals to be part of the Marvel Universe. One of the premises of the series is that the people of ancient civilizations believed the Eternals to be gods. Hence, the ancient Greeks and Romans worshipped Zuras as Zeus, Thena as Athena, and Makkari as Mercury. Yet Kirby and Stan Lee had already introduced Zeus, Hercules, Pluto, and other Olympian gods into the pages of Thor.

Moreover, there is something odd about Kirby’s references to other Marvel characters in The Eternals. SHIELD agents turn up in issues 6 and 7, but they are new characters, not Nick Fury or any other previously established member of the organization. As noted, it is a Hulk robot that battles Eternals in issues 14 through 16, not the actual Hulk. The robot is referred to as “a computerized replica of a popular Marvel character” (Kirby, p. 301) and one character comments that “these comic fans think that all of Marvel’s characters are running amuck!” (Kirby, p. 297). The fact that people in these stories refer to superhumans as “Marvel’s characters” doesn’t mean that they aren’t also real. After all, as far back as Fantastic Four #10 (January, 1963), Doctor Doom visited Stan Lee and Jack Kirby at the Marvel offices, where they were doing the Fantastic Four comic! Still, this is strange.

Various people have hypothesized that Kirby did not intend the Eternals to be part of Marvel continuity, but Marvel put pressure on him to integrate the series into the Marvel Universe, so Kirby responded in these ambiguous ways.

This is certainly possible. However, it could also be that Kirby preferred working on new concepts and characters, and had no real interest in using past Marvel characters, even those he had co-created. Maybe he preferred not using his old characters since so many other writers had been using them during his absence from Marvel. It may be significant that even in Kirby’s work writing and drawing Captain America and the Falcon in the 1970s, he used surprisingly few of his previously established characters: Sharon Carter, the Red Skull, Magneto in an annual, and Bucky in Captain America’s Bicentennial Battles (1976). So maybe Kirby did intend the Eternals to be part of the Marvel Universe, but simply chose not to use any guest stars from other series.

It’s possible, too, that Kirby didn’t care one way or the other whether the Eternals fit into Marvel continuity. There have been plenty of Marvel editors and writers whose attitude has been to ignore continuity and leave it to others to try to make sense of it all (as any longsuffering writer of The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, past or present, can tell you). Except for Stan Lee himself, it is writers and editors of later generations who care about continuity, not those of Kirby’s generation.

Not that long after the cancellation of the original Eternals series in 1977, a full thirty years ago, Roy Thomas began unmistakably integrating them into the Marvel Universe, first with a flashback in which Thor encountered Eternals at the time of the Third Host in Thor Annual #7 (1978), and then with stories set in the then-present day beginning with Thor #284 (February 1979).

Should this have been done? I believe Roy Thomas acted wisely, in that the Eternals would probably have vanished from sight if they had not started appearing as guest stars in series set in the Marvel Universe. The second Eternals series did not start until 1985, but it too was not a commercial hit, and so the Eternals resumed their guest star stints.

But in Kirby’s Eternals the Eternals and Deviants appear to be the only superhumans around, and the Celestials the only extraterrestrials. As Gaiman has said in interviews, he had to define what makes the Eternals and the Celestials unique on a Marvel-Earth in which super-powered beings and alien visitations are commonplace.

Tony Stark does not recognize Dr. Thena Eliot as one of the Eternals. At first I thought this was a mistake, but no, the Iron Man who visited Olympia and met Thena in Iron Man Annual #6 (1983) was a substitute, James Rhodes. But wouldn’t Tony Stark as Iron Man have met Thena when the Avengers and Eternals teamed up against Ghaur in Eternals Vol. 2 #12 (September 1986)?

Ikaris begins telling Mike Curry the backstory of the Celestials, the Eternals and the Deviants, while advising him that “There are. . .a few things that I don’t remember” (Gaiman issue 1, p. 21). In other words, Ikaris–and Gaiman–are warning that this flashback sequence will not be entirely accurate. The most obvious example is that Ikaris states that there were three “hordes” of Celestials that visited Earth. Actually, they were known as “hosts,” a word with Biblical overtones, and there were four of them, as Sprite points out later (Gaiman issue 4 p. 8). Similarly, Ikaris claims that the Egyptians called Makkari “Osiris,” but Sprite says (if he can be trusted) that they actually knew Makkari as Thoth. (By the way, the ancient Egyptian pantheon also exists in the Marvel Universe: the real Osiris made his Marvel debut in Thor #239, September, 1975. And the “Horde” in Gaiman’s Eternals turns out to be something different from the Celestial Hosts.)

It seems to me an odd strategy to present the series’ backstory through an admittedly unreliable narrator. In the Kirby Eternals, it was also Ikaris who recounted the history of the Celestials, Eternals and Deviants, but he was in full possession of his memories then and had no reason to lie; moreover, that version has been thoroughly established as canonical through subsequent retellings. However, the fact that the Ikaris of Gaiman’s Eternals #1 has a faulty memory gives me an excuse me to dismiss anything that he gets wrong.

For example, in the Kirby series the First Host experiments on human ancestors who are covered with fur and are clearly more apelike than human. In the Gaiman/Romita version, the “proto-people” don’t have fur and look more obviously human.

Through the Celestials’ genetic experiments on these “early hominids,” they created both the Eternals and the Deviants. Romita’s picture (Gaiman issue 1 p. 26) implies that Ikaris and Sprite were directly created by the First Host. Actually, Ikaris was a member of a later generation: Ikaris is the son of an Eternal named Virako and the nephew of Valkin, who is Druig’s father. Even Zuras is a second generation Eternal, being the son of Chronos; Zuras’s brother A’lars is Mentor, the leader of the Eternals of Titan, and father of Thanos, as seen in various stories by Jim Starlin. There’s no need to go into all this complexity in Gaiman’s series, but the picture is misleading.

According to the Kirby series, the Celestials also created the normal human race, namely us. In his interview in the back of his Eternals collection, Neil Gaiman reports that people at Marvel “mentioned that they were very concerned about Celestials creating humanity. They said, “˜Nope! Celestials definitely didn’t create humanity, but they did create the Eternals and the Deviants!'”

This was also the policy that Marvel applied to The Eternals when I was working there in the 1980s, and I understand why: they correctly didn’t want to alienate readers with strong religious beliefs about the creation of humanity.

It’s too bad that apparently no one at 21st century Marvel knows the alternate explanation that Mark Gruenwald’s editorial office established for what the Celestials did to the “normal” human race. As I myself wrote in the “Celestials” entry in The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: “the First Host created two sub-species of humanity, the Eternals and the Deviants. Their sole legacy to the mainstream human race was the implantation of a dormant DNA complex which would one day permit benevolent mutations” (reprinted here). By this I meant not only X-Men-style mutants but all super-powered humans that arose in the late 20th century on Marvel-Earth. (I first postulated this in an article for the unpublished third issue of Mark Gruenwald’s magazine Omniverse, and this was long before DC came up with the similar “metagene” concept.) Presumably this explains why Arishem gave a literal “thumbs up” when Gaea, goddess of the Earth presented the Fourth Host of the Celestials with the “Young Gods,” humans whose evolution had been accelerated, giving them superhuman abilities, in Thor #300 (October, 1980). As far back as the end of the Kree-Skrull War in Avengers #97 (February, 1972), when Rick Jones briefly exhibited cosmic powers, Marvel (through Roy Thomas) had established that humanity would evolve into a super-race.

Gaiman titled his first issue “Intelligent Design” and has Ikaris say, “It’s like the arguments for intelligent design. I know my designers were intelligent. I just don’t know what they wanted me for” (Gaiman issue 1 p. 26). That neatly sums up the quandary that characters face in Kirby’s and Gaiman’s versions of Eternals: they know that the “space gods” (representing God with a capital “G”) are real, but they don’t know what the gods expect of them. Kirby’s Eternals is, surprisingly, the superhero genre’s venture into existentialism.

Here’s something I consider a mistake. It is true that the Deviants conquered the human race in prehistory, but Ikaris claims that the Eternals “called” the Second “Horde”/Host from outer space for help in defeating the Deviants (Gaiman issue 1 p. 30). I find it hard to believe that Kirby’s Celestials were at the beck and call of their creations.

In the Kirby version the Second Host arrived, presumably to monitor the progress of their genetic experiments. “When the gods appeared in those times, they were met by massive, hostile action.” we are told (Kirby p. 27). The Deviants “struck first and failed” (p. 28). In other words, this is a classic case of hubris and overreaching. The Deviants launched an unprovoked attack on their creators, thereby arousing the Celestials’ terrible wrath.

The Gaiman/Romita series shows the giant Celestials of the Second Host striding through the Deviants’ realm, picking up Deviants or shooting energy beams at them (Gaiman issue 1 pages 30-31). This seems to me to be rather mundane behavior for beings who are supposed to be “gods,” not just science fictional giants.

Kirby devised a much more resonant image. “The gods struck in turn, and succeeded in toppling the Deviants with a weapon “˜til then unknown to them.” Kirby shows us what is unmistakably a mushroom cloud, implying that this was a nuclear weapon powerful enough to affect the entire world.

Of course this image taps into our own fears of nuclear bombs, which not only haunted America during the Cold War but have revived in the present, due to the possibility that terrorists could acquire atomic weaponry.

Moreover, the “space gods'” destruction of the overreaching Deviants should remind readers of divine punishments from the Old Testament, such as the destruction of the Tower of Babel and the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah. The detonation of the Celestial weapon unleashed “tidal waves the size of mountains” that “drowned the land and all that lived upon it.” The Deviants’ homeland of “Lemuria and its sister continents vanished in just one dark day” (Kirby, p. 28). I suspect that Kirby meant us to identify one of those “sister continents” as Atlantis. And then comes the capper: Ikaris tells the archeologist Doctor Damian and his daughter that during the flood he guided a great ship to safety, and believes its passengers mistook him for a dove. The Damians realize that this is the Flood from the Book of Genesis, and the ship was the Ark (Kirby, p. 29).

Now doesn’t the Kirby version have considerably more mythic resonance?

And, yes, I know, I haven’t even gotten to the end of the first Gaiman/Romita issue yet. So please come back next week for further exploration of Jack Kirby’s last great creation, the Eternals mythos.

–Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Trailer Park: Zachary Levi

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:02 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

It was an interview like this that reinforced the sense that there is something to learn about the human condition as it pertains to being able to talk to someone whose face was plastered on thousands of hotel keys, billboards and is on television on an hourly basis as his network hangs their dollars making sure everyone gets familiar with a man named Chuck.

Zachary Levi, as some of you may remember, was interviewed by me years ago when he co-starred alongside Martin Lawrence in BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2. The film itself was inconsequential compared to what Zach had to say about his work on the film and how he was going forward with his career.

Things couldn’t have gone better for the man who was looking to continue his career in front of camera as he landed the title role in one of the biggest fall productions for this year and had the pilot directed by kinetic action director extraordinaire, McG. I wish I could have had the opportunity to talk to Zach during the San Diego Comic-Con this past summer about what, at that point, had been a slowly building monster. Unfortunately, and I realize without the video to prove it I can’t be taken at my word, it was exactly at the Comic-Con when I saw the frenzy that was mounting; Zach, his co-star Joshua Gomez and resident hot blonde of the series, Yvonne Strzechowski, were flanked on all sides by a phalanx of television and press as soon as they entered the press room mere moments before they were slated to appear in another room to promote the show to the public. It was honestly a madhouse of unnatural proportions but all three stars of CHUCK were alive with pleasure as they fielded question after question with bombastic aplomb. It certainly wasn’t the typical pensive, quiet press interaction you saw most of the other productions that were to be had that weekend; there was real excitement and whether you you were there or not there was no denying that Zach seemed pleased to talk about the show.

Since we spoke a second time he has starred in a couple of lower-budget productions compared to his stint on ABC’s LESS THAN PERFECT and then has exploded in an excellent independent feature, SPIRAL. Zach can now be seen on CHUCK every Monday night, 8/7c on NBC.


Christopher Stipp: This is Chris.

ZACHARY LEVI: What’s up, Christopher? Zachery Levi calling.

CS: It’s about time. I’m telling you I had to wait more times to talk to you since your appearance at the Comic-Con…I saw the show before going there and I honestly really dug it; I think it’s really funny. The thing was I did not expect the kind of fanfare that was there at Comic-Con.

LEVI: Dude, it was insane.

CS: Literally, it was just a whirlwind. You came into the press room, you sat for I don’t know how long for your other press stuff and then bam, bam, bam, you were on your way. How was that? You and Josh just seemed to be in a blizzard ““ a flury.

LEVI: I know. It was so crazy. I almost cried, man.

First, we got there and I’m looking at rebel troops, like crossing the crosswalk and it was obvious we were certainly in the right place and then we go in and do a little press stuff and I saw you and then it was “We gotta go, We gotta go…”

In the screening room ““ I had no idea how many were going to be there – I’m sitting in the back for the last 15 minutes of the screening and the audience had been enjoying it throughout the whole thing. So we just get the last 15 minutes of them just cheering, applauding, laughing. And I was like…I just can’t believe it.

It took a month to shoot the pilot and this was the first time it was being shown and it was not just a general audience…it was to our core audience ““ the comic book video game generation. People like me, really. Then the show comes to an end and they announce that we were going to take the stage and we get this standing ovation, 2,000 people give a standing ovation. I just couldn’t believe it. It just goes down in your own personal record book as being one of coolest things you’ve ever experienced. I hope the show lasts and that we keep providing the level of entertainment and that at next year’s Comic Con we can fill the big hall and just keep pumping out the stuff that they want to watch and that we want to watch and hopefully that you want to watch. It was just crazy, man.

CS: I saw people wearing those CHUCK shirts all weekend after that. I was flying home to Phoenix and I saw a couple people walking around, and I don’t know what the shirt said exactly…

LEVI: Oh, ChucksSecret.com or something like that?

CS: Yes, those were the ones. Then your face was on a bunch of hotel keys…

LEVI: Dude, how insane was that??? I had friends texting me “Holy shit!!!!! Your face is on my room key to my hotel room!”

CS: I have to know. What kind of Fourth Wall did that break for you, if at all? I would imagine, with all the things that had your face on it…it had to feel slightly Bizarro World at that moment.

LEVI: Oh that”¦straight up crazy Bizarro World. Another buddy of mine, an actor buddy who’s on Reno 911, I get a text from him. He took a picture with his phone and sends it to me…What am I doing on this thing, he says. And then, talk about the perfect ice breaker, all the parties going on.

If I could only just stayed in San Diego. We had to go to Comic-Con and then come home and go work. We couldn’t even stay that night. We had to shoot that night. If I could have stayed in San Diego all I had to do was just walk up to people and say “Hey, yeah, it’s me, the card key, it’s me”¦” it was ridiculous.

CS: Obviously the promotions on NBC have been just as crazy.

LEVI: The promotions have been so incredible and I am so grateful for them. Because I know what it’s like not to have any promotion. Working on a show that’s just thrown in there and I know the networks and studios have just so much money that they can spend on promotions for their entire season and I feel very fortunate and very blessed to be on the receiving end of all of that. They are pumping us like crazy.

I just saw a cardboard standee that’s going in all the AMC theaters and it’s going to be Chuck on popcorn bags. Dude, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what it going to be like to go in to an AMC theater and see my face on a popcorn bag.

CS: You’ve got to be honest with me ““ are you bringing that stuff home…possibly putting it up in the bedroom…telling the ladies, “Oh that? Yeah, that’s me.”

LEVI: Yeah, right!

You know what’s funny? I always, in the back of my mind, said maybe I should hold on to one of these things for posterity but I never ended up doing it. Family and friends always want one but I just kind of feel like, I don’t know, it would just get lost somewhere. What’s the point? Life is too short. I remember. I remember I was a cardboard standee. If somebody else wants to collect it”¦.rock and roll, go for it but I don’t know.

CS: How’s the production going?

LEVI: The production has been great. I mean you know they are long, long days. It a really ambitious show. What we accomplished in a month, we are trying to accomplish in 8 days

CS: Really…

LEVI: Really tough. Really tough. But I think it’s doable but it’s just a matter of everybody following the rhythm. We have new people on the crew and now we got writers that are trying to write episodes that we can shoot that day. We started back with the first episodes that had 80 scenes ““ that’s a lot of set ups and then they started to trend down and made it about 50-60. We’re trying to get it to a place where we can do it in 8 days. But what we’re hoping is that we don’t have to trim it down too much and that we can, show Warner Bros. and NBC when we start airing that we are a contender and then hopefully they’ll have more faith and put more money in the production side of it and give us a full functioning second unit because that’s what we really need.

It’s not a matter of more days on the first unit schedule and it’s not a matter of making it smaller in scope because if you do that you are not giving the show justice that should be done. The show is an action comedy ““ you need to have the action. You need to have the car explosions and the gun fights and the cool stunts and that stuff and you need to have the time with the characters to have the relationships and the comedy becomes the spy stuff as well and it’s an ambitious show. HEROES is an ambitious show as well and they have a fully functioning second unit that is shooting the whole time the first unit is shooting. So they are able to pull it off. That’s they way it should be.

CS: Right. As the show is progressing, like you said, a month’s shoot for this one show ““ great premise great beginning, middle and end, now you have your second episode and you physically could not top it but what do you think in the back of your head that in the writer’s room that you hope keeps going as the episodes progress? Is there anything that you say that this is an aspect of the character that you want to retain and not put off to the side because there is only so much that can fit in there?

LEVI: No, no, like week after week I was just looking at the pilot and seeing what McG did and it was just, the effects, everything, like you said it took a month to do but you can’t do that in 8 days, so what’s the one core thing that the writers and obviously the directors as they move along that they want to retain that’s not lost in any of that?

Well, I think in a perfect world, you want to retain it all.

I think television is coming into a place where people are expecting more but studios are still expecting it to be shot in an 8 day typical hour long fashion, and it’s not…It’s not realistic.

To me it’s not and I understand that studios need to be frugal. They have a lot of shows and they don’t know what’s going to pop and what’s going to not and I also feel good about that they will allocate funds appropriately. Like, last year NBC had STUDIO 60 and HEROES and they put most of their money in STUDIO 60 and mid-way through the season they said STUDIO 60 is not performing and HEROES is so let’s invert these scales if you will. So what I’m hoping is that we start airing some episodes, they’ll see the promise in our show, and will want to give us more to stay on track with the initial vision of the show. In the meantime, sacrifice as little as possible. And by little I mean by still keeping some great stunts in every episode, great relationships, great methodology and maybe we are losing a few setups, maybe more of a technical thing than anything and this stuff of “fake it til you make it” kind of thing until you air it.

Because right now we are on episode three but we are still missing shots from episode one. So in order to get it done the way we want to get it done and get everything done that we want to get done, we just kind of put off scenes until later. We just finished episode one and we still need a couple scenes from episode two and started episode four today and we saw episode three but I’m fine”¦I’m fine going back”¦and as long as we can keep the integrity and vision of the show we started out to make and not be watered down lower budget, less time version of that. I’d rather work longer hours and make a great show than work less hours and produce a show that’s like it’s another television show. You know?

CS: How are you handling the new hours?

LEVI: Oh man. Well, I’ll tell you this: everyone is working 12 hour days. To give you an idea”¦.like last Friday we were shooting night exteriors and finished shooting at 6:00 in the morning ““ we’re working over schedules, working the night shift. And then last night we’re out there at 6 in the morning and call time today is 6 pm and so we’ll probably wrap again around 6 in the morning. It’s a far cry where you might work 30 hours in a week and all of that was real hard work…(Laughs) You just got to show up and hang out and have fun all day long and make jokes with your friends and have custom omelets made and a live audience. It was so cush.

But it’s much more fulfilling to be in a drama, especially on the lead. I get to run around with guns. I don’t get to shoot the guns which I am a little bitter about but we can get to that later”¦. But there’s gun fights, and car chases and helicopters. It’s just everything I ever dreamed about when I was a kid. Just playing around and playing war and throwing dirt wads at your buddies like they are hand grenades. That just what you hope you get to do. And now I get to live that dream and the show gets to be funny. I’m young, I’m single, I don’t have any pets. This is the time to be doing it.

CS: Absolutely. I know the answer will be “Great!” but, really, talk to me about how you and Joshua Gomez have come together and made the chemistry work between the two of you because I will honestly say, and I wouldn’t b.s. you if I didn’t believe it, that these two guys have a good relationship with one another; best friends, in a way. You believe it”¦.you know?

LEVI: Thank you. It’s really a big blessing. I mean Josh is so incredible because I feel I’ve known the guy forever.

We sat down and for all those times that my mom or anyone told me do not play video games, guess the work paid off. Because Josh and I get to play gamers on the show and we are both huge gamers in real life so immediately we have this kind of jumping off point. We just clicked immediately. Talking about all our favorite games from like Atari all the way to the present”¦.which one Super Mario Brothers franchise was superior and why weren’t they OK. My favorite first person shooters games. Neither one of us is into sports games all that much. We like shoot “˜em ups and stuff like that. We just got BioShock and Josh just did some voice work on that, he’s done a lot of voice work on games. I got my Xbox in my dressing room ““ he’s got his Xbox in his dressing room. We just don’t have a lot of time to play anymore because we’re working so much but we’re still gamers to the core and the first day we pretty much sat down and we knew that we had good acting chemistry. I got cast and they had me come in and read with the guys auditioning for his role and he was just ““ all the guys were great ““ but he was just the funniest and we definitely had the best rapport. And then they had us sit down and have lunch one day just to try and get to know one another and I think he turned to me at one point and said, “So are you a gamer?” Because we played them in the show and I turned on him so quick, like “Am I a gamer? Yes, I am, thank you.” And he just said “So am I” and we just talked about our favorite video games.

And he is, honestly, just one of the sweetest, funniest, nicest guys you will ever meet in your life. He is the salt of the earth and we just have fun everyday. Everyday we get to work with each other we just have fun. It can be complete utter nonsense. Like little inside jokes with friends you’ve know for 10 years, we’ve known each other for 10 weeks. Which is good. And we both see what a huge blessing that this is. We just get to play video games for a living in our characters and get wrapped up in espionage ““ it’s just so much fun. And, so thank you. I’m glad that it works on the screen and I thank God that he was able to bring Josh and I together because I felt it in my personal life and went right to screen. It’s just good to know.

CS: Absolutely. What the two of you have together is obviously the comedy, is it different now ““ there is no audience, there is no closed set, you guys are free wheeling in front of the camera having to be funny, is there retake, are you used to doing it again and again making it just as funny on the 1st take the 2nd take the 3rd take?

LEVI: You know what’s interesting is it’s tougher to gauge what’s funny.

Laughter is a good gauge to tell if a joke landed or not and everyone has to be quiet in front of the monitors and cameras and what not, but I think Josh and I have a pretty good idea of what’s funny. We talk to one another and say, that was really funny or whatever. There’s a little more leniency and they definitely support us in our adlibbing and our characters probably get to do the most together so we’ll constantly change it up. We, of course, get what’s scripted but after that we just have a field day and we’ll throw something in there and say, “Have you tried this or that?”

I try to not tell them, I just like to surprise everybody by the monitors. I’d rather not tell them I’m going to do this. I’d rather say “Hey Josh, let’s do this” and of course after the take and you hear people laughing then you know you did something good.

CS: Then, I’ve got to know ““ the Vicki Vale BATMAN reference ““ it makes me laugh every time I see that part, was that scripted?

LEVI: Well, the actual Vicki Vale song part?

CS: Right.

LEVI: Well, that part was scripted but the phone drop was not.

The way it was scripted was that – stop the presses was that the Vicki Vale thing and I look up and I see her and I quickly put the phone down but I thought, I don’t know, I love physical comedy and I love slapstick not too slapsticky but some jokes and some physicality.

So the first take, I just thought, “Well, I’ll just let the phone drop and then play it off.” She liked it but then we went back and forth ““ should we put it in and we go back to the take where I didn’t drop it and back and forth and then they decided to put it in and now they used it in the Fall trailers. It was a fun moment.

There’s a lot of stuff in the pilot that we made up ““ that was not originally in it. When Yvonne says “You geeks are good” that was supposed to end of that scene but then I was like, “Josh, let’s do this thing where we both look at each other.”

You know we’re both nerds playing like we are not the Geek Squad but we’re trying to be but Best Buy wouldn’t do it ““ we tried to get that cleared but Best Buy wouldn’t do it which I find kind of ridiculous because it’s such a great show…but at the end of the day we had to create our own world and we don’t have some corporate guys breathing down our necks making sure we’re not doing anything outside of what they want. So it’s just little moments thoughout making it, layering it and making it more of our own. I’m free to discover my character and play and make those moments and I’m glad they end up working.

So in answer to your question, Vicki Vale was partly scripted and part improv. One of my favorite moments as well.

CS: And you are also now with Adam Baldwin who some would say he peaked with SERENITY but I would say MY BODYGUARD.

LEVI: It’s funny, it’s kind of a generational thing ““ I’ve never seen My Body Guard.

CS: Are you serious?

LEVI: I’m 26.

CS: That’d be about right.

LEVI: When did it come out?

CS: Let’s see, I’m 32 and I barely remember seeing it on HBO.

LEVI: I saw a lot of movies when I was a little tiny kid. My parents had HBO but for some reason I never saw MY BODYGUARD and I’ve been meaning to rent it since working with Adam but I haven’t yet. Adam Baldwin is one of the greatest guys I’ve ever worked with, he is so talented. He’s had one of those careers you can only hope for as an actor. He’s never gotten to the A list, break out huge, but he’s worked a lot. Been able to support his wife and three kids. His daughter is going off to college. It’s crazy. He’s 35″¦.40 whatever. He is the most solid dude in the world. Papa Bear. Because every one else in the show is generation X, or whatever. And Baldwin, he’s the rock. He’s they guy who’s been around the block a couple of times and he’s so grounded, he’s even tempered, he loves being at work. All the things you look for in a co-worker. And he’s really supportive.

He’s been working before I was born and he supports me. He is constantly with you, using words like you’re the leader, lets do this action and it means so much to me. Adam Baldwin deferring to me that way, it is so akward. This guy has been working so long. I’ve been working a little bit but not nearly as long as him. But it means a lot. It really inspires a lot of confidence in me and I just hope I can get to work everyday and really appreciate it. This crew works so hard and long hours and into the night. I just hope they all know that it’s all for the best. I really believe that if we continue to work hard and continue to put these hard hours in now that once this show airs and we can find our audience and it will all be worth it. And we’ll get the extra money for the stuff that we need in the budget whether it be extra days, second unit, better equipment and we can give pay raises for the second season, third season, what have you. But I look at the show as a big family because I spend more time with them than with my friends and I want people to feel taken care of and when you put in hard work you should be taken care of.

CS: Well I don’t want to take up any more of your time…I know you have to run but I have just one last question to ask ““ do you feel there is weight on your shoulders? Obviously, all the promos have been about you, all the things have been just about you, you, you. Do you feel any of that pressure that you are the center of attention?

LEVI: I never once felt like it was a weight or a burden. I always felt like what an amazing opportunity. What a great gift. I’ve been around people that have that opportunity and squander it. You know, people that treat crew badly or less than what they deserve and I feel like when you are given that place you are given this great gift to be able to really just love and appreciate and support your cast and your crew and it’s incredible how far it goes when your crew and your cast feels like you the lead or the star or whatever that you care about them or that you take the time to just say “Good Morning” even, it’s sad how many people don’t do that and how detrimental it is to a show and
I have been able to kind of check that out from the sidelines and see how people have done well with it or not done well with it but always look forward to the opportunity to be given the opportunity to do well with it because I see the beauty and the benefit of it.

And the promos and stuff, to be able to go and tell how much I love my cast and crew, I look at that as such a great opportunity and I don’t know”¦with all the talk shows and stuff starts happening I guess that can get a little hairy at times”¦they are always looking for funny antidotes. I don’t think of myself as an antidotal type person. I have this really weird habit of forgetting all the funny stores that happened in my life. So I don’t know how that will all turn out”¦I hope well.

But I don’t look at it like a weight or a burden. I look at it as the greatest gift I’ve ever been given in this business. I will always appreciate it. Even if I’m having a bad day. Put it in perspective. I mean, I’m I get to be CHUCK in a show called CHUCK and shoot at Warner Bros. ““ historic Warner Bros. And our sound stage ““ a CASABLANCA stage. I’m saying that Humprey “F’ing” Bogart walked around on this stage…To be able to work with such incredible actors and an incredible cast, writers, and directors…You dream of being the title character, you dream to be in a show where you get to be funny and action and drama and romance. So being a weight, no. Do I certainly put it in perspective and see the possibility and great responsibility that is? Absolutely.

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