Tag: john connor

Weekend Shopping Guide 12/4/09: Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

(Please support Quick Stop by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

Not as noir-riffic as their take on Batman, Bruce Timm & Paul Dini still delivered a definitive version of the Man of Steel that trumps all but the original Donner film – and it can all be yours with Superman: The Complete Animated Series (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$53.98 SRP). Bonus features include audio commentaries and featurettes, plus an exclusive disc with an all-new retrospective. My one gripe? Warners cheaped out and used the abysmal double-sided discs on 3 of the 7 contained within. Haven’t you realized that they’re an abomination, Warners? Please. Stop using them.

If last year’s 20th anniversary set featuring the collectible Crow T. Robot figurine was anything to go by, I’d recommend snatching your copy of the limited edition Mystery Science Theater 3000: XVI (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$64.99 SRP), sporting a snazzy Tom Servo figurine, before they’re long gone – which will probably be pretty darn fast. The set itself contains the episodes The Corpse Vanishes, Warrior Of The Lost World, Santa Claus, and Night Of The Blood Beast. Bonus features include Turkey Day ’95 intros, a retrospective on Santa Claus, an interview with Warrior director David Worth, and trailers.

It’s quite rare to encounter a new sitcom that I not only like, but swiftly fall in love with. Well, I can now add Better Off Ted (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) to that exclusive list. Imagine if you combined the sensibilities of both Newsradio and Arrested Development and set it in the headquarters of an oppressively omnipresent megacorporation – and there you go. Hell, it’s even a little bit Brazil. Just get the first season, and devour all 13 episodes.

Get the bad taste of the US remake out of your mouth by re-watching the second (and final) season of the original UK Life On Mars (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP), which still holds up as one of the televisiual highlights of the last few years. The 4-disc set features all 8 episodes, plus behind-the-scenes footage, a documentary, and a featurette on the show’s finale.

I got exactly what I expected from Four Christmases (New Line, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP) – a largely by-the-numbers, inoffensive, lightly enjoyable holiday romp starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon as a couple whose cancelled getaway flight leaves them having to attend the quartet of Chrismtases thrown by their divorced parents. Mild hilarity ensues! A Blu-Ray edition ($35.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

Lionsgate has just dropped a boatload of their catalogue titles into the high definition arena, with one big highlight for me. There was a time when it seemed Monster Squad (Lionsgate, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$19.99 SRP) would never even make it to DVD, and here it is in snazzy Blu-Ray with a full port of all of the DVDs special features, including audio commentaries, featurettes, deleted scenes, and more. Also making their Blu-Ray debut are Mel Gibson & Robert Downey, Jr. in Air America, Stephen King’s Cujo, the still-awkward Angel Heart, the cult favorite Near Dark, and the original My Bloody Valentine (Lionsgate, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$19.99 SRP each).

No, I will not say it’s a good film, but there’s a lot of goofy fun to be found – at least my young nephew did – during Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (Fox, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), which brings Ben Stiller back as night watchman Larry Daley, as the magical exhibits that came to life during the original film get transferred to the massive archives of the Smithsonian… And wouldn’t you know it? More hijinks! Bonus features include audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, a gag reel, and a DVD copy of the film.

A truly groundbreaking comic performer and television innovator that should be required viewing for anyone claiming to have an affinity for comedy gets a nice introductory set via Spike Jones: The Funniest Show On Earth (Infinity, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 3-disc set is packed with classic bits and over 60 songs, plus 2 never-aired pilots.

If you go into Funny People (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$34.98 SRP) expecting another laugh-a-minute Apatow flick like 40-Year-Old Virgin or Knocked Up, you’ll probably be surprised and a bit disappointed to learn it’s actually a tale *about* funny people – comedians – in particular one played by Adam Sandler, who is given a second chance and decides to address some issues in his life, particularly the girl that got away. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, a production documentary, featurettes, deleted scenes, prank calls, a gag reel, and more. The Blu-Ray edition ($39.98 SRP) features additional deleted scenes and prank calls.

Packed to the hilt with guest stars like Steve McQueen and Walter Matthau and hosted by its titular master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Season 4 (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$30.99 SRP) keeps the quality level up across its 36 episodes, all of which are well worth a spin. There’s also a bonus featurette, “Fasten Your Seatbelt: The Thrilling Art Of Alfred Hitchcock”.

Maybe one day someone will find the closet that the real Robert Rodriguez has been locked in for the past few years. In the meantime, the Pod-riguez is delivering tepid kiddie cinema like Shorts (New Line, Rated PG, DVD-$28.98 SRP), which could have been a rollicking tale of kids finding a magic, wish-giving rock but is instead a tepid affair marked by occasional flashes of what could have been. Bonus materials include a behind-the-scenes featurette and a mini-cooking school short. A Blu-Ray edition ($35.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

If I had my druthers (which I do), I’d like to ignore that Torchwood ever existed as a Doctor Who spin-off and focus entirely on The Sarah Jane Adventures (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) as a worthy extension of the Who-niverse. Because it is. Made for the BBC’s children’s channel, it’s a fun, fast, but thoughtful and character-driven show. Don’t believe me? Check out the second season set, where everything comes together and gels. Bonus features include interviews, galleries, audio clips, TV spots, trailers, and more.

Animation makes the transition to live action with the made-for-TV Ben 10: Alien Swarm (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.97 SRP), which finds Ben taking on an alien menace intent on dominating the Earth. Bonus features include a making-of featurette and a music video. A Blu-Ray edition ($29.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

Pull out all of the teeth of the original and make the sense of “Gotta keep the franchise churning” palpable, and you’ve got the not-terribly-interesting Terminator: Salvation (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.98 SRP). Further muddying the franchise’s continuity by flash-forwarding to the middle, Christian Bale era of humanity’s last hope, John Connor, and forcing him to keep safe the life of his own father. Yeah, it’s a mess. The 3-disc Blu-Ray edition ($35.99 SRP) features an extended director’s cut, a picture-in-picture exploration with director McG, and a pair of behind-the-scenes featurettes.

It’s a little bit House, a little bit Chicago Hope, and a little bit Grey’s Anatomy – it’s Mental (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), about the new Director of Psychiatric Services at Wharton Memorial Hospital, Dr. Jack Gallagher, his quirky colleagues, and his unorthodox methods. The 4-disc set contains all 13 episodes, plus an alternate pilot and a featurette.

The lawyer with the golden briefs returns with the second volume of it’s 3rd season – otherwise known as Perry Mason Season 3: Volume 2 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). The 3-disc set contains 12 episodes of high stakes legal wrangling.

I’ve become quite tired of Michael Cera, so I was pleased that Paper Heart (Anchor Bay, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP) is really a “documentary” about fellow Gen-Z’er Charlyne Yi’s search for love – a concept she doesn’t really believe in, at least in the fairytale, Hollywood sense. But yes, there is some Cera here. Bonus features include featurettes, interviews, deleted scenes, and musical performances. A Blu-Ray edition ($39.98 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus features.

In the mood for a middling little horror flick that’s at least an improvement over channel surfing? Wondering whatever happened to Thora Birch & Brittany Murphy? Well, you’ll find them both in Deadline (First Look Studios, Rated R, DVD-$28.98 SRP), about a screenwriter (Murphy) who retires to a Victorian house in the country after having a breakdown, hoping to finish her screenplay. Instead, she finds disturbing videotapes of the couple that used to own the house, and… well… you know where this is going. Ooooooooo. Bonus materials include behind-the-scenes footage. A Blu-Ray edition ($29.98 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

What happens when you team up two of the most pigmentally-challenged humans on Earth and give them superpowers? You get Jim Gaffigan & Conan O’Brien (voiced by Gaffigan) in Pale Force (New Video, Not Rated, DVD-$14.95 SRP), an animated series where the pair face off against their archnemesis Lady Bronze. Bonus features include Gaffigan’s appearances on Late Night and making-of featurettes.

Guy Ritchie has been a scattershot writer/director over the years, but the film that put him on the map – Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$26.98 SRP) is getting its high-def release, carrying over the featurette and expletive compilation from the last standard edition DVD release.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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December 4, 2009
Opinion In A Haystack: UP Makes Children Cry

Hollywood hates children. Well, nowadays, for the most part. The past decade has seen a decline in the realm of family films so drastic it’s almost embarrassing to behold. A constant barrage of sub-par, placating, dreck that insults the intelligence of the child and the adult they will one day grow to be. Substance and craft are no longer the main concerns for children and families, simply be garish, be happy, and NEVER be realistic in tone (DEATH DOESN’T EXIST, ONLY iPods DO!!!) The youth of today have virtually nothing to grow up with and rediscover as surprisingly well-made entertainment, all they have is films equivalent to my generation’s Masters Of The Universe (great for nostalgia, not so great for adult criticism.) They need, and deserve, more fare like Beetlejuice, Return to Oz, Gremlins, or The Neverending Story (yes, I’m bias)… films where they grow up, re-watch and think “Holy hell! This was for kids?” They are feeding them messy piles of sugary air such as Alvin and the Chipmunks, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, or Night At The Museum (1 or 2, take your pick), which are so hackneyed and sloppy that the slightest hint of adolescent logic or understanding of story structure forces them to collapse under their own faulty welds and lashings. However, in a world of film that treats kids like permanently-imbecilic-spider-monkeys, there is still Pixar.

And Pixar has balls. SEXY. PLUMP. BALLS.

Not even going to bother jumping on the Pixar worship-wagon here. You know, as well as I do, about their reputation and their increasingly growing catalogue of well-crafted films that are arguably genre masterpieces (Wall-E, The Incredibles) or great against all odds (Cars: completely entertaining in spite of stilted-premise and Larry The Cable Guy.) Up continues this trend, possibly in the animation house’s greatest triumph of supremely original ideas and adult-story-telling-for-kids.

The film opens by following the life, from pre-adolescence to golden years, of Carl Fredricksen (voiced by the great Ed Asner.) He is an old man with an unfulfilled dream of adventuring in the South American wilderness and a home that is being strangled by industrial development. In short, he ties thousands upon thousands of balloons to his house and floats away, toward South America, on what is to be the last adventure of his life, one that he is forced to share with a young boy who inadvertently is on his porch during take off. Simple right? Odd right? Confusing right? Right, but it’s the approach that matters.

Amongst the fantastical elements in the film, the ones that can be seen in the trailer, like a house being floated by mere balloons, talking dogs, or elderly men being WAY too physically active for their own good, Up has a grounded heart and realism in place that metaphorically punches the adult-mind in the gut, and righteously, yet not viciously, sprays pepper-sauce in children’s faces (the kid next to me in the theater cried A LOT.) The movie deals with death, abandonment, and the loss of heroes at the fore front of its surface.

******************SPOILERS START HERE**************************

This blunt realism kicks right off, as the beginning of the film introduces us to the epitomes of pure cuteness and naivete that are young Carl and Ellie (his future wife.) They both seek adventure and have the same hero, Charles Muntz (voiced by the legendary Christopher Plummer), and we are treated to a montage of their life together. We witness their marriage, their home life, their romance, their laughter, and eventually, their inability to conceive children (yup,) and ultimately their parting. THAT’S RIGHT. Ellie dies. Not just dies, but dies in a montage around 20 minutes or so into the film… Pixar sets you up, and knocks you down… all to the loving tunes of a soothing and sad score. All that went through my mind was “Holy hell! This is for kids?” Which, trust me, is a huge compliment.

Pixar’s balls, by this point in the movie are already huge and pulsating, but they still get even bigger. The reason Carl even floats his home in the first place is because the government is taking it away and forcing him into a retirement-home due to him attacking a construction worker with his cane (drawing blood!) Through the course of the film we also see Carl discover that his (and Ellie’s) childhood hero is a deranged, psychopathic, MULTI-murderer and that the kid, Russell, has a deadbeat dad who basically wouldn’t care if he lives or dies… we even see dogs getting hurt and possibly killed (due to their own actions, its not Pixar’s Hostel.) Topping off the dark tones found here is a joke played on the audience that is so genius, cruel and hilarious that scriptwriter Bob Peterson must have been laughing since the day he put it on paper. I won’t spoil it for you. Heh.

******************END SPOILERS*******************

Up‘s realism, risks, and complimentary attitude toward the audience is not the only positive however. In no way am I trying to sell it on the merits of making children cry alone… ok, maybe a little. It is also quite successful on all other standard fronts, and it’s got plenty of well-executed laughs and a grand vibrant color scheme. The script is extremely original, not to mention the cast of characters which includes a huge bird, Dug the Dog, and his fellow army of talking K-9 brethren. Dug is the comedic stand out of the movie, as his dialogue perfectly plays out the awkward nature of how dogs would actually sound if they could miraculously speak English. All the main players in the movie get their own small, but useful, character-arcs… even the bird (oddly the only character not able to speak.)

The fantastical elements are handled in a way that doesn’t grate the logic. Unlike sloppy piles of confusion like the continuity, rules, or consistency of the magic tablet in Night At The Museum 2, the material here is given mystery and logic where it needs it, and glazes over where it doesn’t… which is why you wont be questioning how Muntz (Christopher Plummer) invented a collar that translates dog speak to English, or how those balloons wouldn’t remotely lift that house, let alone tear it from it’s foundation (I believe Mythbusters tested a similar idea, and it was only picking up the weight of a single child)

The triumph of the animation here is that Pixar does make art, but they don’t try to re-invent the wheel when the wheel is working just fine. The movie is absolutely beautiful, not as visually breath taking as Wall-E, but still it looks fantastic. The blocking of some of the scenes is incredible, the little house mushroom-topped with a cloud of balloons floating across a vast blue sky in an ultra-wide shot is iconic and slightly haunting, especially considering the “rainbow” visual of the balloons. Up, much like most of Pixar’s flicks, excels in its craft (from all angles, writing, direction, choreography) and not merely in the technology of the craft. The digital 3D print is especially gorgeous, and is highly recommended.

It’s not often that a bitter old grump like me sees a film and can’t find too much negative to say about it. If I had to really rack my brain, I guess I could say the only problem was that maybe the movie makes Carl too much of a physical action hero at times, considering his age, but it’s handled with such care in the narrative of the movie, so its not a big deal, and certainly not out-weighing the good. This is probably Pixar’s least marketable film yet, being so morbid an odd. The less broad they get, the better they get…which is kind of a mind boggler when concerning Pixar… how do they continue to get better? How? In this case most of the praise should be directed toward director Pete Doctor, who some how improved on his wonderful Monsters Inc. with this new offering.

Also, just to put things into perspective, this review was written by someone who doesn’t even honestly like computer-generated animation at all, and who has really never publicly “sucked off” Pixar. Up was just class-A entertainment, and perhaps an arguable masterpiece in the family film genre. It’s good to know that this generation has at least a few movies, like Up, to grow older with and re-watch and see the adult themes, the quality craftsmanship and exclaim “This was for kids?”

QUICK THOUGHTS AND RANDOM BITS

Star Trek: a few weeks later…

J.J. Abrams’s Star Trek was great fun. As a die hard Original-Cast-film fan, still have no debilitating complaints… except, upon further reflection… it was great, but it really just isn’t Star Trek. Long Live Shatner.

Annoyed at “revisiting” reviews

Something that grates on the nerves is when an old franchise is resurrected (Terminator) or announced to be resurrected (Ghostbusters) and we have to sit through a plethora of reviews, rants, and ravings by young-ins saying how the originals (T1, T2, Ghostbusters) are overrated in the first place. Just want to say: SHUT UP JUNIOR! Your ill-informed meandering is not making your CGI-raped re-imagining any less horrendous.

What’s in a name?

If you hate McG, director of Terminator Salvation, simply because of his name then your opinion is invalid. First, his real name is McGinty, “McG” is the nickname given to him by his family… it’s not a self-chosen moniker due to douchebaggery. Second, hate him because his movies are sub-par… even though to hear the guy talk it really seems like he is actually trying, just failing miserably.

Exterminators exterminate… so Terminators should… ?

If you are going to make Terminator 4, if you just can’t help but do it, and you have to make it a heaping pile of poorly constructed blandness… could you at least follow the one rule that even the hokey Terminator 3 didn’t break? If a Terminator, no matter what make or model, gets its hands on a human, don’t let the machine give a dramatic pause, don’t let the machine just “play around” with them, let them INSTANTLY kill. Terminator 1-3 never let the villains even touch the targets… why? Because they are terminators, they would terminate at all costs. Why couldn’t you at least follow this logic? Why sir?

It works in Reno, but not at the multiplex.

Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, You were great writers on The State, and are hilarious writers on Reno 911!, so how come every time you make the leap to film its completely dreadful? Taxi (the Queen Latifah movie), Balls of Fury, The Pacifier, Let’s Go To Prison, Herbie Fully Loaded, Night at the Museum, Night at the Museum 2: Battle for the Smithsonian… Your film work reads like the listings for a multiplex in the deepest circles of hell… what is going on there guys?

There is always room for Jell-O… and more Bitterness!

Got into an argument with a young “film buff” who was saying that The Dark Knight and Iron Man are better films then The Outlaw Josey Wales, Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, and Apocalypse Now. Is there any hope for the future?

May 27, 2009