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We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs - however they see fit, within the parameters set forth - after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?



Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu - one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge - or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the 1st Challenge?



This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman - specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” - and their descriptions - HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.


You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?



Write a song about a number.

That’s right - a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson


So what was the 3rd Challenge?



Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”


You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers below (plus a pair of out-of-competition shadow entries), followed by the Round 3 voting form…



songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends - some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also - feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG:#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud

ROUND 2 SONG:Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)

ROUND 3 SONG:The Night Before


Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

ROUND 1 SONG:#381 Captain Dane Frostline

ROUND 2 SONG:3455316008

ROUND 3 SONG:A Gift from Godz Poodlz


Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain - or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

ROUND 1 SONG:#423 Red


ROUND 3 SONG:After I Have Gone


In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny


ROUND 3 SONG:Rudolph The Red


They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG:#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps

ROUND 2 SONG:i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)

ROUND 3 SONG:(All Because I’m) Not With My Heart


Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

ROUND 1 SONG:#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch




Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both - though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

ROUND 1 SONG:#422 Mokey




I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG:#297 Mr. Tom Furby


ROUND 3 SONG:Ghoul Tide


Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

ROUND 1 SONG:#153 Permanent Unsex

ROUND 2 SONG:Six (I Am Not A Number)



Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG:#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer

ROUND 2 SONG:Flight 93 - Memorial to Courage

ROUND 3 SONG:Finals Week


Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

ROUND 1 SONG:#237 Dirtbag Dan

ROUND 2 SONG:203012

ROUND 3 SONG:Let It Snow, Like We Have a Choice


My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

ROUND 1 SONG:#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull

ROUND 2 SONG:The Number Nine!

ROUND 3 SONG:Jesus Christ At Christmas Time


Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

ROUND 1 SONG:#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters


ROUND 3 SONG:Dead Week (A Song About Failure)


Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

ROUND 1 SONG:#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw

ROUND 2 SONG:10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)

ROUND 3 SONG:Salvation Army


My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG:#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt


ROUND 3 SONG:Snow Drift


I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG:#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny


ROUND 3 SONG:Dear Santa


Simmbiosis - three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

ROUND 1 SONG:#646 Hydrostatic Charlie

ROUND 2 SONG:Sevenly - The Magnificent Seven

ROUND 3 SONG:Holy Daze


Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin - a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends - local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

ROUND 2 SONG:Four 5ths

ROUND 3 SONG:Mistakes Were Made


songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG:#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown

ROUND 3 SONG:My Epic Battle With Gravity


songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer – Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG:#414 Nick Nolte

ROUND 3 SONG:Festivus! (For The Rest Of Us)


At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG:#275 Mr. Owen Daylight

ROUND 3 SONG:The Christmas Beers


Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG:#298 Mr. Deadend

ROUND 3 SONG:Unfinished


Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG:#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny

ROUND 3 SONG:Paulie The Black Nosed Reindeer




The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 3 SONG:Our Winter Love


Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 3 SONG:The Elf’s Lament


To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.



And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.



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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.




42 Responses to “Masters Of Song Fu #5: Round 3 Challenge Voting Begins!”

  1. simmbiosis Says:

    For your consideration, Holy Daze, done in holiday fashion but lyrically a song about consumerism, greed and religious hypocrisy. As usual, music and lyrics can be found at



  2. Lex Vader Says:


    We all know that Life Day is a special day for celebration
    You can go and show the Wookiees how much you appreciate them

    But there is another creature that you really shouldn’t visit
    Don’t go to the forest moon of Endor if you’re fond of living

    Ewoks will eat you even if it is the holidays
    Ewoks will eat you, they don’t really care at all
    (They’re crazy and hungry)

    If you go out looking for a little of that cheerful spirit
    And you’re walking past an Ewok village, trust me, don’t go near it
    The only spirits that you’ll find are… your dead loved ones stood behind you
    Watching from an awkward line as teddy bear cooks tenderize you


    Should the forest tempt you
    Charter a flight up to see Chewbacca
    May the Force be with you
    If you end up on an Ewok’s wok, yeah

    You can tell them you’re a god, but you will likely be rejected
    Unless you’ve got a golden body or a skirt, you’ll be ingested
    There’s a possibility that… you will end up slowly turning
    Tied to a rotisserie as fuzzy short freaks watch you burning


  3. Ian"Two Shades" Johnson Says:

    Just noticed that where you can listen to my song it says “Unfinished” not “Paulie The Black Nosed Reindeer”. Can that be fixed?

    Also here are my lyrics.

    Paulie the black nosed reindeer
    Was just a very normal beast
    Lived with some other reindeer
    In the Canadian North-east

    All of the other reindeer
    Just did what normal reindeer do
    They’re just plain old wild animals
    Closely related to caribou


    Then one foggy December night
    Paulie ran out of luck
    He dashed into the middle of the highway
    And got run over by a truck!

    Then all the reindeer wondered
    Whatever happened to that guy?
    One more thing before I’m finished…


  4. Caleb Hines Says:

    Mine is a simple little carol about the *other* thing that always seems to happen around this time of year: finals.

    Winter’s chill is in the air,
    Light the fireplace with care,
    Pour some cocoa, find a chair,
    Finals Week is here.

    Finals Week is here,
    It’s the busiest time of year,
    There’s no time for holiday cheer,
    Finals Week is here.

    Grab your textbooks, bring your notes,
    Memorize the teacher’s quotes
    Cram until your brain explodes,
    Finals Week is here.



    (Verse 3)
    And when all your toil is through,
    Bear in mind one fact is true:
    Next semester has them too,
    Finals Week is there.


  5. Spintown Says:

    I’ll try to have my review done by Wednesday morning…looks like a good bunch of songs.

  6. Rhod Durre Says:

    please ignore my previous post. . . bad web address (geesh, it’s like I didn’t listen to my own song!)

    “A Gift from Godz Poodlz
    by Rhod Durre and Russ Rogers
    performed by Godz Poodlz

    You’re sick of all the holiday songs
    At shopping malls, the lines are too long
    Love, Peace, and Joy are the Season’s best gifts
    And Godz Poodlz on everyone’s list
    And Godz Poodlz on everyone’s list

    Godz Poodlz has a message that should not be controversial
    But the whole Holiday Season is too crass and commercial
    It’s not about things that you buy in the store
    We hope that this year, it can mean SO much more
    So you can tell Santa or your Dad and your Mom
    To go to GodzPoodlz dot Bandcamp dot com

    We want you to buy Godz Poodlz for the Holidays
    Don’t waste your time on gifts that are hand made
    We want you to buy Godz Poodlz for the Holidays
    Spend your Bad Pennies on “GodzPoodlz on Parade”

    Bomb Squad Girl, She Boogies on your iPod
    And you’ll dig Captain Dane with the Poodlz of God
    And at just a buck a song
    You really can’t go wrong
    Godz Poodlz dot Bandcamp dot com
    Godz Poodlz dot Bandcamp dot com

    Love, Peace, and Joy are the Season’s best Gifts
    (Merry Christmas. . .)
    And Godz Poodlz on everyone’s list
    (Happy Hanukkah. . .)
    And Godz Pooldlz on everyone’s list
    (Joyous Kwanzaa. . .)”

    ©2009 Rhod Durre and Russ Rogers
    Available as a FREE download from http://www.godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

  7. Johannes Schult » Blog Archive » Manticess: After I Have Gone Says:

    [...] out the third round of Masters of Song Fu #5 over at QuickStopEntertainment.com! Manticess contributed a song called “After I Have Gone”. Other artists made songs with [...]

  8. Denise Hudson Says:

    This explains the whole thing about the song. It’s got lyrics and links to a skating video (my guilty pleasure - tho I’ve never written a tune about it!)


  9. Gorbzilla Says:

    Here are the lyrics for Festivus (for the rest of us)

    I gotta lotta problems with you people, now you’re gonna hear about it
    Hey Kruger my son tells me that your company stinks, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe (I lost my train of thought)
    It all started years ago when I was buying a doll for my son
    Another man reached for it, as I was raining blows on him, I thought there has to be another way
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    gather all of you loved ones near
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    and tell them how they let you down this year
    Happy Festivus
    I’m going back to work now that the strikes over,
    Festivus Yes! Bagels No!
    I’ll dig the aluminum pole out of the crawl space,
    there’s a rubber band in my soup, Paco!
    Yama Hama! What a Two-Face!
    I guess the lightings bad here on the porch!
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    the feats of strength are growing near
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    I’ll bet I won’t hurt myself this year
    Happy Festivus
    A donations been made in your name,
    to the Human Fund this Christmas
    Your fake phone numbers always been the same,
    now the denim vest has got your card
    And that sure makes it very hard to get that bad sub that you’ve earned Elaine
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    gather round the pole aluminum
    A Festivus for the rest of us,
    Festivus is not over until you pin me son
    Happy Festivus

  10. Tommy G Says:

    Quick note: Allan’s 365 Song site was left off the BYD blurb above - he’s at
    with ironically, 365 songs he’s been involved with over the last 25 years.)

    Thanks for all the positive comments on such a light-hearted tune. It’s been fun to get back doing new material for a change.

    Lyrics for ‘Our Winter Love’
    (A.Morgan, T. Giarrosso)

    I want to hold
    You all the time
    You want to run
    You should be mine.

    We both should be
    as one, you see?
    together for

    You were so cold
    and mean to me
    but not so bold
    then try to flee

    I don’t know why
    We grew apart
    run you can try
    but I have your heart

    I want to hold you never let you go
    but the authorities tell me it can’t be so

    I’m hanging your
    stockings with care so
    detectives won’t
    find DNA there.

    I’ll love you to
    the end of time
    I think by then,
    you’ll still be mine

    No matter how
    cold you may get
    I’ll warm you up
    I’m not a threat

    Your hair of gold
    And skin of blue
    Makes me want to
    Be close to you

    Keep laying there
    Just be still
    If I don’t love you
    Nobody will

    I love your eyes as I see ‘em
    Staring out your masoleum

    Heart of stone
    Skin of Ice
    May I kiss you?
    That would be nice

    Your are the
    Love of my life
    This way you are
    The perfect wife

    They think that you’ve
    Gone away
    But now’s the time
    For us to play

    I’ll be your groom
    You be my bride
    We’ll sleep forever
    Side by Side

    Timeless like the ancient druids
    You’re full of embalming fluid

    I want to hold
    You all the time
    You want to run
    You should be mine.

    We both should be
    as one, you see?
    together for

    We both should be
    as one, you see?
    together for

  11. DJ Particle Says:

    Hi everyone! Captain Wayne of the Mad Music Archive (a comedy music info clearinghouse) would like to know if you’d like any of your Round 3 songs entered into the MMA’s annual holiday song contest as well :)

    Let him know at wayne(at)themadmusicarchive.com

  12. Autumnraina Says:

    +1 vote for Mike Lombardo

  13. Edric Haleen Says:


    Well — three rounds have come and gone. And sadly, we’ve not heard even a single shadow song from that mysterious enigma, riddle…

    Fortunately, Ken said during the last listening party that sign-up for MoSF#6 would probably start the first week of January.


    Anyone who knows “Jim” (riddle’s professed catalyst) — please get the word out to bring the world a little riddle for 2010! (At least the Song Fu world!!!)


    (Jim! Jim! Jim! Jim!)

  14. Spintown Says:

    I just posted my review of the round with my picks on Spintown. Sammy Kablam posted his review there yesterday.


  15. riddle Says:

    @edric: thanks for the kind encouragement. i have indeed written a song for each round. but my friend “jim” has been preoccupied with financial/dwelling issues. plus, he lives in another state so its hard for me to badger him as i’d like to. nevertheless, you’ve convinced me to at least share the lyrics for the song i wrote for this ‘holiday’ challenge. here it is:

    “Boats with Lights”

    we walked down to the bridge
    i was a step behind
    i wanted to watch the wind in your hair

    but the light was closing
    and the lights were coming on
    in the city across the river

    we turned to the left
    where the boats were drifting
    i hoped you were looking
    at the wind in my hair

    and the twinkling lights
    were coming on
    on the boats along the river
    (they carried my glowing heart to you)

    and i hoped you saw it
    when i turned to see
    the lights coming on
    in your eyes, your hair in the wind
    the twinkling boats drifting down
    the river
    the twinkling boats drifting

  16. Wilson Fowlie Says:

    Am I the only person having trouble playing the Chas Lilly song?

  17. Caleb Hines Says:

    I can’t check right now, but I know sometimes a few of the mp3 players don’t seem to work correctly, (you could let Ken know, maybe via twitter @KenPlume)

    In the mean time, you should be able to download the mp3 either separately, or as part of the zip file. Personally, I tend to not use the players on the page so often, except for a handful of songs.

  18. JoAnn Abbott Says:

    You folks did NOT make it easy to decide this time! I had six entries with 5/5 after their name and another 3 with 4/5- arrgh! How to choose?
    Songs of especialy note to me- Manticess, yours is the first song of any of the fu that I made my husband stop playing WOW for so tht he could listen- it was just THAT sweet, thank you. I gave you a 10/5 because I liked it so much.
    Jason, Principal Timmy cracked me up the moment you said his name. :o)
    Caleb, very good song, very singable, nice background music, but then I have come to expect that from you.
    Zeroguy- the whole warm glow in the snow from the radiation was a nicely sick and twisted win for me. The old LP scratchy sound and 1930ish overall effect was wonderful.
    Sara-very nice harmoy on the ooOOOoo’s
    Chas- very listenable song.
    Craig- you are a sick and twisted person also. Good thing I like that in people. Great idea for a parody of the Christmas shoes, that song I can listen to only once per season, then I change the car channel.
    Boffo Yux- Wonderful harmonies and yet another sick and twisted tune! Glad you weren’t competing, I would have had another 5/5 to contend with in choosing.
    Mike- also glad you were not competing because it mde it easier for me to decide. Very nice piano, good (if emoish) song.

  19. JoAnn Abbott Says:

    Oops, I meant Josh not Jason there, sorry! I wrote the wrong name on my notes page.

  20. Joe 'Covenant' Lamb Says:

    TOTALLY forgot to put the lyric up !!

    Ghoul Tide (Ft Paul R Potts)

    The snow was falling silently
    upon a winter’s day
    And settled on the clothes of those
    who shuffled on their way

    The sky above was powder blue
    and streaked with silver glow
    It matched the colour of their skin
    as cold and white as snow

    Snow falls down, watching the snow fall down
    Settling all around, the snow falls down
    Snow falls down, watching the snow fall down
    Covering all the town, the snow comes down.

    The shambled on a-murmuring
    as slowly they were drawn
    Toward a host of carollers
    a-singing festive song

    They caught one glance, then caught their breath
    And suddenly were caught.
    Their song and then some teeth and hands
    a-sticking in their throats

    They tore their flesh and broke their bones
    And munched upon their eyes
    They ripped the muscle from their chests
    And feasted on their thighs

    The ones whose brains were not consumed
    Got up and joined the show
    Their entrails dragging after them
    And colouring the snow

    (…falls down…)

    Now if you’re friend is bitten you
    Must shoot them in the head
    Or they’ll get sick and die and then
    Become the living dead.

    And nothing will be on their mind
    Except striking the blow
    To bash your brains out of your skull
    Ands eat them while the snow (…falls down…)

  21. Lex Vader Says:

    Okay, enough of the lyric posting already. This is supposed to be a comment section. So how about some comments on what exactly is wrong with my songs?

  22. JoAnn Abbott Says:

    I gave you a 4/5 Lex…

  23. sevinPackage Says:

    @Lex: You have no right to complain about the lyrics - you posted yours first. While I would prefer people post links to lyri8cs on another page, I’d rather have the lyrics than not.

    Unfortunately, this round was not as good as I anticipated. It may take a LONG time to get my reviews caught up, but they will be completed, so everyone can understand why (including myself).

  24. Tommy G Says:

    I actually appreciate the lyrics posted in this section… it helps with some of the song - especially understanding some of the more subtle jokes and comments.

    I disagree with sevinPackage- there are many jems this round. I was stuck in traffic for a few hours today, and had the chance to listen to them all in a closed quiet environment (If you don’t count the horn honks) Then I reread the lyrics here tonight, and caught a bunch of items I had missed at first.

    I laughed out loud at several, and it’s going to be a hard choice this time.
    I’ll post thoughts a review soon.

  25. Tommy G Says:

    There were many stellar efforts this round. I had to narrow them down by reaction. did it move me, or make me laugh out loud?

    Edric Haldeen - ‘The Night Before’
    I liked this the first play. It set a nice mood and told a sparse story that allowed listeners to fill in the silence…

    Godz Poodlz - ‘ A Gift from Godz Poodlz’
    Happy. Totally Crass and Commercial. Loved it. Got my vote. Repeating the URL in the chorus was a great idea.

    Manticess - “After I Have Gone”
    Very pretty tune.

    Jalapeno Habaneros - “Rudolph The Red”
    Good lyrics, but it was tough to hear and understand them.

    Jubilee Jews - “(All Because I’m) Not With My Heart”
    Almost a Neil Young vocal vibe going on there…

    Peter Benedict - “Lament”
    ‘I don’t wanna think how long it took to write that one’

    Josh Holober-Ward - “Snow Day”
    Principal Timmy and the concept the adults on a Snow day acting like the kids they’re in charge of was great. Almost had my vote

    Joe Covenant Lamb - “Ghoul Tide”
    I wasn’t sure where it was headed in the first verse, which made the resolution
    that much funnier. One of my favorites and got my vote.

    Lex Vader - “Ewoks”
    Star Wars, Angry Ewoks, and a good story line. The key change was an unexpected surprise. Well Done. Got my vote.

    Caleb Hines - “Finals Week”
    Solid song. Nice touch with the acapella in the last verse

    Zer0guy - “Let It Snow, Like We Have a Choice”
    Interesting use of fx and EQ to get the ‘roaring 20’s’ sound. The downside was I had a hard time making out the lyrics.

    Jonathan Mann - “Jesus Christ At Christmas Time”
    I got into the Dylan Protest vibe from the secular point of view. I knew the harmonica would come in there somewhere in there.

    Sara Parsons - “Dead Week (A Song About Failure)”
    I could relate to the writer’s block, and smiled at the 2nd verse not actually being there. Liked the off key last note.

    Chas Lilly - “Salvation Army”
    This one surprised me - told a compelling story, and had a good hook you couldn’t help sing along to. Got my vote.

    Kylie Petto - “Snow Drift”
    I liked the inventive narrative. Using the phone to call for help while singing was a great idea.

    Alex Taylor - “Dear Santa”
    Reading a letter to Santa - good idea. Nice guitar, but the vocals needed a little more presence in the mix to be understandable.

    Simmbiosis - “Holy Daze”
    Quite the sonic bombastic arrangement. I tried, but just couldn’t get through it all.

    Denise Hudson - “Mistakes Were Made”
    Tom Waits meets ice skating. Eerie piece. I checked out Denise’s blog and totally missed the national anthem references.

    Steve Chatterton - “My Epic Battle With Gravity”
    Felt a Paul Simon vibe to it. Well done.

    Gorbzilla - “Festivus! (For The Rest Of Us)”
    I was expecting a bad Miller Lite commercial at first, but the story had me laughing, and the chorus forced me to sing along. Got my vote.

    Craig Richie - “The Christmas Beers”
    Loudon Wainwright III at his best. Good story trying to convince the 7-11 guy to sell you beer.

    Spencer Sokol - “Unfinished”
    Good story.

    Ian “Two Shades” Johnson - “Paulie the Black Nosed Reindeer”
    Nice parody. I did snicker at the punchline…

    Mike Lombardo - The Elf’s Lament
    Would have gotten my vote if not a shadow. Nice job on a bouncy song.

    Congratulations, all. This round wasn’t easy to narrow down for voting. It does seem like many TMA members are on here now… or is it TMA is converting all the non-believers?


  26. riddle Says:

    my votes:
    Sara Parsons, Kylie Petto, Edric Haldeen, Jubilee Jews, and…
    in my top spot: zer0guy, with a song that Ween would be proud of. a total experience and a nice surprise, well done!

  27. Gorbzilla Says:

    Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Even the Jubilee Jews. (As long as that doesn’t offend.)

  28. Spintown Says:

    So when is the next round & who’s the master already.

  29. Josh Holober-Ward Says:

    So. Uhm. When does Song Fu exist again? o.O Been looking forward to the final battle for a while!

  30. Spintown Says:

    You’re not the only one Josh. Ken really knows how to kill any buzz about the final battle. I mean after this long wait, and no real updates, unless it’s someone like JoCo I’ve lost a lot of excitement or interest.

  31. DJ Particle Says:

    Since the site is changing hands, I’m just chalking it up to “we’ll get back to it once we have things settled” on their end. Transferring a site like this is mad work.

  32. Edric Haleen Says:

    “Transferring a site like this is mad work.” True enough, I’m sure.


    Yet . . .

    Two Snyde-casts. One “Bit Of A Chat.” A Shopping Guide, a “Contest Round-Up,” and a “TV or Not TV.” A “Bagged and Boarded.” A bit of art from Paul Dini…

    And not so much as a WORD about Song Fu?

    Not even a note on the top of the LAST Song Fu page, saying, “Gosh, guys — sorry. Life is crazy with this server switch-over. Look for the Master round to go up next ‘Feezle Day’…”? Or even an explanatory e-mail to the winning challenger?

    These inexplicable, sustained “breaks in the action” comprise the one thing that has driven me crazy about Song Fu. Voting issues may have been irksome, but I’ve never really been in this for the votes to begin with. Some of the more acerbic comments that people have left (Song Fu #4, anyone?) have been discouraging, but they ultimately don’t really matter so much. But keeping people on the string like this without any word or explanation is SOOOOOOO irritating and nerve-wracking. Whether it’s waiting (day after day after day … after day) for your song to be posted so you can get feedback on it and hear the rest of the submissions, or whether it’s waiting to see if Song Fu will even EXIST any more, or whether it’s waiting to see who the Master will be — or whether it’s answering your friends and family, “No, it’s STILL not up yet. I know I told you that I thought that the voting would start up last Tuesday, but…” — it’s a really disillusioning part of the whole Song Fu experience.


    I’m sure Joe is about going out of his mind…

  33. Joe 'Covenant' Lamb Says:

    Hey all…
    I appreciate that people are a little frustrated with the wait, but I have it on the BEST authority (Ken’s!) that he will update things soon.

    Im sure most people following this know the outcome already anyway, but, yeah, I’m waiting for *that page* to go up now!
    ;’ )

  34. riddle Says:

    song fu is dead… long live song fu!

  35. Edric Haleen Says:

    Oh, good! riddle’s still following along! (So I’m assuming that riddle will finally be this time in for Song Fu #6.) I know _I’m_ in for Song Fu #6! And I know there are some TMA people who have been looking forward to getting into Song Fu this time around…

    Who ELSE is out there??


    Long live Song Fu!

  36. Ian Two Shades Johnson Says:

    Hey! I heard there wasn’t a master this time around. I think Song Fu should still go on, even without the Masters part. It’s a great competition with a lot of great people involved and I’d hate to see that fall by the wayside. Maybe we could have Joe be the master for 6, then the winner of 6 be the master for 7 and so on and so forth? Just an idea if Joe is up to it.

    VIVA LA FU!!!

    -Two Shades

  37. Alyssa Day Says:

    I can’t wait for Song Fu 6! All of these little problems are 100% fixable. I’ve been following along since #3, and with the creation of TMA, I think that Song Fu is a little family. All the participants will come together and raise it from the ashes. Joe is an unbelievably reliable and awesome guy, and I think that he should be the master for Song Fu 6. Problem solved.

  38. Dave Leigh Says:

    I Learned about Song Fu too late for this competition, but I know I’m looking forward to the next one!

  39. Inverse T. Clown Says:

    I’ve been wating for Song Fu 6 since before Song Fu 5, because I knew I wouldn’t have recording ability in time for 5. If 6 does not happen, I will be thoroughly disappointed.

  40. Russ Rogers (of Godz Poodlz) Says:

    I want to thank Ken(and now FRED)for the fun, learning, connections and friendships that come from Song Fu. Godz Poodlz are looking forward to Song Fu #6!

    “A Gift from Godz Poodlz” remains a FREE download at http://godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

    Plus, if Godz Poodlz has 100 fans on our facebook fan page by 02/10/2010, we will make the entire album a free download the week of Valentines Day! And we are taking suggestions for what the next Godz Poodlz Song should be about (kind of like a personal Song Fu challenge), we will write and record that NEW Godz Poodlz Song by Valentines Day as well!

    Join the Legionz of Godz Poodlz Fanz here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Godz-Poodlz/151736822018

  41. Berg Says:

    Wait they aren’t doing a final round?

    I hope thats not true… i mean at least Me and Jerry had a Master last Fu…..but still.

    I mean if they really need a master me and jerry wouldn’t mind defending the “win” from last round.

  42. Tommy G Says:

    Congrats to Godz Poodlz on hitting 65 members. In only 1 month, they’ve equaled the # of fans BYD has managed in 5.


    Allan and I are looking forward to Song Fu #6. Should be a fun time.

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