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Tag: party favors

  • Party Favors: They Call Him Flipper

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    TACOMA – Who could imagine making a documentary about dolphins could lead to so much trouble. When director Louie Psihoyos exposed what the Japanese locals were doing to dolphins in Taiji, Japan in The Cove, he found himself a wanted man. This sea-side community celebrates their relationship with the dolphin. But there’s a darkside when they herd dolphins into a cove, sell the prized ones to aquariums for $150,000 each. The remaining dolphins are slaughtered and given to school kids as whale meat. He found himself wanted by the Japanese law for various charges including videotaping undercover police officers.

    Certain folks have defended this slaughter as cultural dining. How dare Americans protest what the Japanese eat. The falsely labeled dolphin meat has toxic levels of mercury. Remember that this is the same Japan that will shut off imports of American agriculture and livestock with the rumor of something being amiss. Yet they had no problem giving their children mercury poisoning.

    The Cove isn’t merely a talking heads with archival footage documentary. Psihoyos is a cameraman for National Geographic and part of Oceanic Preservation Society. He joins other activists in a clandestine effort to film the hidden slaughter. The film is an espionage thriller with hidden cameras, stealth operations and undercover cops. There’s also a supporting role from Heroes‘ Hayden Panettiere. The film recently won best documentary from the National Board of Review and is on the Academy Award shortlist for nomination eligibility.

    The Cove arrives on Blu-ray and DVD this December 8. Director Psihoyos called up the Party Favors hotline. Listen in as we discuss mercury poisoning, the impact the film has had on the dolphin slaughter and the Japanese legal system.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Party Favors: Joe Corey Chats with THE COVE’s Louie Psihoyos (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://www.smodcast.net/partyfavors/party_favors-the_cove.mp3]

    The Cove has already had an impact in popular culture with a South Park episode based on it.

    HUMPDAY EVERYDAY

    Always be careful when drinking with old college buddies because you never know what you’ll talk each other into doing to prove you’re not elderly sell outs. Such was the message of Humpday. The Sundance darling is one of my favorite comedies of the year. The Blu-ray and DVD have just been released. Stars Joshua Leonard and Mark Duplass called up the Party Favors hotline to discuss their buddy comedy.

    Humpday got its start with a chance meeting in the land of Starbucks and drizzle.

    “I met Lynn on the set of this movie called True Adolescents that I was acting in up in Seattle,” Duplass said. “She was doing stills. We knew of each other. We hit it off as filmmakers in what we believe in when in making movies: improvisation, naturalism and a strong plot. She said, ‘I want to build a movie around you.’ I said, Great, sounds like fun. She called me about a month later and said, ‘I have this idea for a movie about two straight guys who get obsessed with a porn film festival called Hump.’ It’s a real festival in Seattle. I immediately loved it. I said we should do it as two guys try to have sex with each other over the course of a weekend.”

    While Duplass was the first actor involved in the project, Shelton had him lined up for the vagabond pal.

    “She initially approached me about playing Andrew, the character that Josh plays. I had just played a similar character in a movie. Let me play the married guy. I’m married now so I know what its about. I’ll get a haircut and clean up. And at that point we brought Josh onboard.

    “I had not worked with Josh. Lynn said, ‘I don’t know anybody that could play this role.’ My brother Jay had just met Josh at a film independent lab that Jay was mentoring. Josh was a big fan of my brother and I’s first feature, The Puffy Chair. We were huge fans of what he’d done in The Blair Witch Project. More importantly, I didn’t know him that well, but I knew enough to know that we had a very special dynamic. Josh and I became friends very quickly and got very close very quickly. I think it had something to do that we are both very headstrong, very type A and have a ton of respect for each other. I really love him. We also have a side to our personalities that in this life it works great for us. In another life, if we’d been born on different sides of a battlefield, we could tear each other’s faces off. It something about that special love-hate bond that made it right for the role.”

    Leonard has a different memory of how he became part of the Humpday duo.

    “I got tricked into it,” Leonard declared. “I was dear friends with Mark Duplass. I knew of Lynn, but didn’t necessarily know her work. I was in New York doing a play when I got an email from Mark, who I adore as my friend and think the world of as a filmmaker. He said, ‘You want to play my best friend in this movie?’ I said absolutely, man. I’d love to as long as we can work the schedule out. He sent me an email back saying, ‘Great. Remember that you’ve already committed to it. It’s a film about two straight guys who try to make a gay porn.’ To which I responded, ‘OK. I trust your taste, but please, as my friend, never let me commit to anything without asking what it’s about first.’”

    Since the movie was improvised, the principles had to focus on the characters’ history.

    “We worked with some backstory, Josh, Lynn and I had these little summits in the backroom of my house in L.A. We had one particular long weekend were we stayed up and talked about the history of the guys. What we quickly came up with was they were best friends in college, but more importantly best friends at that time in life when the world seems open. You’re cocky, young and brash and feel like you can do anything. That reminds them, now in their early 30s, that they’ve lost that spark and they’ve lost that way. They want it back. And they are constantly colliding into each other trying to figure out how to get that back. They come up with a ridiculous way of doing it.”

    The idea of the duo making the gay porn comes up during a small party. While the characters are seen drinking, Were other libations supposed to be ingested during the scene?

    “There was a little bit of pot smoking going on if you can catch it,” Duplass said. “It was the pot and alcohol. We talked about the idea of taking it deeper into drugs. But we didn’t want to cheapen it and make it seem like it was just the drugs speaking. We wanted to get them tipsy enough that they could do it, but not so tipsy that it wasn’t rooted in their desires.”

    During this talk of gay sex at the party, Leonard’s character gets frisky with Monica played by Lynn Shelton. Was that a perk for the part?

    “I do wind up making out with Lynn” said Leonard. “That was my one contractual stipulation. I had to make out with the director. I try to put that in all my contracts. This is the first time it worked out.”

    Duplass also had his time making out with a woman before heading off to the hotel room with Leonard. Alycia Delmore played his wife. They built up their relationship using 21st century help.

    “We talked on the phone and did some iChats ahead of time,” Duplass said. “We both had a pretty good understanding of our characters so we didn’t really talk to much about backstories between them. Alycia had such a good grasp of her character and it’s such a tough character to play. It can so easily become the cuckold who doesn’t know what’s going on and is not intelligent or the person that knows everything that’s going on and is a shrew. She rode that fine line so well, I followed a lot of her leads on these things. It was my job to bring her all the terrible news and feel her reaction.”

    The interaction between the cast and crew helped the improv story take shape. “It was a team effort completely,” Leonard said. “It was one of those rare scenarios where the best idea always won and it didn’t matter whose it was. Nobody cared where it came from.”

    And it seemed that nobody in the crew knew how the film was going to end.

    “We shot the whole film in sequence and that was the last scene we shot,” Duplass said. “While each scene was improvised, they were very plotted out where the characters wanted to go. The final scene we didn’t do any plotting or what should or could or would happen. We were checking into a motel at 7 o’clock tonight and checking out tomorrow morning at seven a.m. We’ll see what we get. We were shooting 50 minute takes. Just going and going and going. Interestingly enough, on the first take we did, about 80 percent of what we did in that first take is in the movie. At that point you know your characters so well, you’re living them, you just follow your instincts.”

    The one buggy thing about the motel scene was there wasn’t a tripod on the videocamera. Why didn’t they have the essential tool for the aspiring home porn stars who want to be able to use all hands in the action?

    “We didn’t want to get too involved in the semantics of it,” Duplass said. “Ben is trying to decide at the last minute if he’s going to go or not based on the conversation with his wife. Because it’s so last minute he’s only able to come up with this home videocamera approach. There’s a purity to that being less about anything technical and more about saying, it doesn’t matter what equipment we have. It’s all about capturing the moment.”

    In the hotel room for those twelve hours was Mark, Josh, the cameraman, the soundguy and director Lynn Shelton running a camera. How did the duo keep up the awkward feeling through out the night?

    “It wasn’t that difficult,” Leonard said. “I was standing with my buddy in my not particularly toned body in my boxer shorts trying to figure out a way to make sweet love to him.”

    Neither actor felt the pressure to spend months in the gym to achieve Mario Lopez six packs. “Fortunately for press purposes we can tell everyone that we both gained weight for the roles,” Leonard said. “Raging Bull ain’t got nothing on us.”

    Both men have been busy over the last year. Leonard played Jane Adam’s boyfriend on HBO’s Hung. He’s unsure if he’ll be in the upcoming season. “I haven’t even talked to those guys about that,” he said.

    Most of his attention is focused on a bigger project. “I just directed a feature based on a T. Coraghessan Boyle story called The Lie. It’s about a guy who doesn’t want to go to work so he lies to his boss that his newborn baby has just died. The movie takes place in the ensuing five days between the time that the guy throws a grenade on his life and when it blows up in his face. It was done the same way. We arced out the treatment and improvised the dialogue. Ben Kasulke who shot Humpday shot this one.

    “It was the coolest group of people. It was literally one of those experiences where I called all my favorite actor friends and had them come out for a couple days. We had a five month old baby as the third lead. It was not an easy shoot.” The film stars Jane Adams, Kelli Garner, Allison Anders and Holly Woodlawn.

    Duplass’ upcoming film with his brother Jay Duplass will be screened at the upcoming Sundance. You might have caught him on FX’s The League. He’s the stud of a fantasy football league.

    “We had a series of meeting with the creators of The League that went on for about six months,” he said. “I was concerned about my schedule doing a TV show since my brother and I have a pretty hefty writing-directing career. We work a lot. They said, we really want you. They guaranteed me a small amount of time that I have to work on the show.”

    Coincidentally in the first episode, there’s a moment that deals with him and anal penetration. Does he fear being typecast as the heterosexual guy with the tempting backdoor?

    “I’m hopeful, really,” Duplass said. “Jack Black plays musicians. I play the butthole guy. We’ve both got our niche.”

    DIDN’T YOU DIE

    Joshua Leonard might look somewhat familiar since he was in The Blair Witch Project. I inform Leonard that I spent a year worried about him after being shown the original teaser almost a year before the release when it was still supposedly real. I kept calling a pal to find out what was on the discovered film. Had the filmmaking trio been located?

    “You weren’t the one who called my parents to offer your condolences?” Leonard asked. “Right when stuff first started coming out, they got a lot of condolence calls. They took that reality marketing to the nth degree.”

    FESTIVUS SPECIAL

    Happy Festivus. Now prepare to wrestle me for the last slice of meatloaf!

    TIGER TRAPPED

    Tiger Woods has let his fans down not because he had an affair, but because he screwed a skank from VH1’s Tool Academy. He’s the greatest golfer in the universe worth billions and he dumpster dives for a mistress. How exactly did he expect discretion from a celebutard?

    It’s a miracle he can stand steady and focus on a putt since VH1 ought to be VD1 with their toxic dating pool. I often visit a health clinic for testing after accidentally exposing myself to For the Love of Ray J. Can you catch crabs from sitting too close to the TV?

    No wonder his wife went after him with a golf club. Tiger was on the slippery slope of scooping up Brett Michael’s Rock of Love rejects as they fall from the bus. Tiger Woods might have ended up in a Devil’s threeway with Flavor Flav if Mrs. Woods didn’t break out the pitching wedge. That’s the rehab Dr. Drew needs to dish out.

    INVEST NOW

    Too many people have been caught up in Fox News’ conspiracy to inflate gold prices on the rumor of an upcoming robot holocaust religious war. Why in the middle of a Road Warrior future is gold really a good investment?

    I watch enough warriors of the apocalypse films. It is my supremely educated opinion that in such a bleak scenario, there’s only two investments for the smart survivalists: water and hot young women. Which means you can get rich in the ground floor of a hot market. Party Favors wants your unwanted water and hot young women with Cash4H20andHOS. Just call our hotline number and we’ll send you an insured envelope. Fill the envelope with water and women and mail it back. Our professional experts will grade the contents and we’ll send you a check. Remember to not send us your crazy girlfriend. Even radioactive mutant freaks don’t want them or crazy cat ladies. They might want the cats for appetizers. You can send them to Cash4Cats.

    Don’t delay and quit listening to Glenn Beck with his gold lies. Call 1-800-Cash4H20andHOS before the FBI shuts us down again.

    MR DVD

    Did anyone expect Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr. Fox to completely implode upon wide release? How can you go wrong with distributing a kid’s film during the Christmas season? Earlier in the fall Spike Jonze’s adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are earned over $75 million. How did Anderson’s version Roald Dahl’s Fox barely adaptation of Fox not even clear a third of Wild Things opening week and fall off the Top 10 chart by the second weekend? Was it too adult for kids and too childish for adults? Was nobody interested in a Paddington Bear-esque stop-motion animation flick? Or was it that Anderson’s cinema aesthetic has cooled off the folks that might have been curious in seeing Fox? Who became the target of producer Scott Rudin’s Monday morning bagel missile?

    Seeing how this is Anderson’s third consecutive theatrical thud, is it time he gets his name moved down below the title since it’s obviously not a great selling point? Forget judging the ticket sales against the rumored budgets. Five of his six theatrical releases didn’t earn enough money at the box office to cover the cost of advertising, promotions and striking 35mm prints. His core audience seems to be people who eager to collect the Criterion Collection discs of his movies. He’s a home video superstar star like a 21st Century Andrew Stevens except he’s got Bill Murray instead of Shannon Tweed.

    SEASONAL WISHES

    If I have one Christmas wish, it’s the return of saxophonists in the world of Rock music. Don’t let Kenny G. make the sax an instrument of wussdom.

    If I can get a second one: Joel McHale and Patrick Warburton each need to host Saturday Night Live this season. Enough with the barely talented tweens stretching on the show.

    Final wish would be simple – scratch and win on a Ric Flair lottery ticket.

    CHRISTMAS GIFTS

    This year’s annual Christmas gifts to grab have been mixed up. First off is Warners deciding to not come out with Looney Tunes – Golden Collection, Volume 7. They also held back on putting out anymore Popeye cartoons. So much for real vintage cartoons this year. However there are the megasets of Transformers: 25th Anniversary Matrix of Leadership Edition and G.I. Joe A Real American Hero: Complete Collector’s Set that gives all their ’80s animated goodness.

    Normally I’d list Saturday Night Live: The Complete Fifth Season as a must grab. This was the season with the last of the Not Ready for Prime Time Players after Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi left. This was the end of the Buck Henry hosted episodes. Ultimately this is the last season of SNL that I’d willing pick up as boxset. Recently the first four seasons have been going at various stores for $15 instead of $70. I can wait till the price drop hits.

    There is one thing on my must get list: The Complete Peanuts 1971-1974 contains volume 11 & 12 in the series. This is the time when Lucy and Linus get their brother Rerun. Also the birth of Joe Cool takes center stage. There’s still 25 years to go before Charles Schulz ended the strip. This should be a constant gift under the tree until 2016. Hope the world doesn’t end in 2012 cause I do want to see what I missed in the ’90s.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    G-Force seemed like a joke movie poster in Tracy Morgan’s 30 Rock dressing room. Turns out they did make a film about a pack of guinea pigs that are high tech secret agents with beyond Bond gadgets. The CGI pets are voiced by major stars like Morgan, Steve Buscemi, Penelope Cruz, Jon Favreau and investment guru Nic Cage. Their unit become victims of government cutbacks. They’re returned to the pet store, but you know their fate won’t be stuck in a kindergarten. They must save the world. Kelli Garner of The Lie also shows up in human form. The Blu-ray looks good with the furry fury of the G-Force. The boxset also includes the DVD and a digital copy so you want watch it on an iPod. There’s plenty of bonus features with Jerry Bruckheimer showing us how he made Nic Cage finally have believable hair in a film. G-Force is the perfect mindless film to watch while enjoying the egg nog this Christmas.

    Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 3 Blu-ray completes the Kirk and Spock TV years in 1080p. Like the previous editions, viewers can choose between the original effects and the enhanced HD CGI effects. The reason to get this set is “The Way to Eden” with the invasion of the Space Hippies! Charles Napier (Russ Meyer superstar and Squidbillies sheriff) riffs galactic groovy tunes on his futuristic guitar. Napier’s jaw was made for HiDef. Amongst the large amounts of bonus features is an early cut of “Where No Man Has Gone Before” that’s never been released. This was the second pilot with Kirk finally in the captain’s chair. They didn’t get to the end of their five year mission.

    World’s Greatest Dad ruined my belief that Robin Williams is a complete sell out whore. How much hope could there be for him after crapping out Man of the Year and RV. Thankfully Bobcat Goldthwait brought him back to the delicious dark side of comic genius. Williams is a failed writer who is about to get fired from his high school for an unpopular poetry writing course. His son (Spy Kids‘s Daryl Sabara) is a gross teen who likes scat sex videos. Robin lives to flirt with the art teacher (Alexi Gilmore). Things go extremely bad when his son dies in hangs himself while jacking off. Robin does what any parent does in such a case – zips up his son’s pants and makes it look like a normal suicide. He writes a suicide note on the kid’s computer to explain this sad end. The letter becomes a hit. Robin exploits his son’s ghost to rejuvenate his own writing career. How far will he go to achieve success? It just gets extremely uncomfortable as Williams finally gives a performance that just won’t play for the braindead that loved Bicentennial Man. It’s such a relief that Bobcat was able to remind us that Robin Williams isn’t just a schmaltz fiend.

    Taxi: The Final Season wraps up a prime sitcom in its fifth season. NBC picked up the show for what wasn’t the great ratings comeback. The big focus for a lot of the episodes were Latka (Andy Kaufman) and Simka (Carol Kane). “The Shloogel Show” is their little party for the rest of the gang. Rev. Jim also dominates the action. “Jim’s Inheritance” has him up for his dad’s fortune. His blood thirsty siblings want him ruled incompetent so they’d control the inheritance. It’s up to Alex (Judd Hirsch) and Louie (Danny DeVito) to back up his semi-sanity. “Scenskees from a Marriage” discloses Latka having a fling with a female cabbie. As punishment, they throw a party. The last male guest will sleep with Simka. “Crime and Punishment” gives the usually quiet Jeff (J. Alan Thomas) an episode. He gets framed for Louie skimming money. He finds himself being arrested. Will Louie confess or let his assistant take the rap? The big finale isn’t really a farewell episode with “Simka’s Monthlies.” She’s going to be deported. Judging how lame other sitcom farewells have been, it’s appreciated that Taxi didn’t wrap it up. We can still dream that Elaine Nardo (Marilu Henner) is hacking around Manhattan.

    The Fugitive – Season Three, Volume Two contains the final 15 black and white episodes of this four year chase. No longer would Dr. Richard Kimble (David Janssen) hide in the shadows. “Wife Killer” pours on the pressure when Kimble kidnaps the Man with One Arm. Can he coax a confession and finally gain his freedom? Not to spoil the ending, but there are more episodes. “This’ll Kill You” puts Kimble in the employment of Mickey Rooney at a laundry. “Stroke of Genius” makes Telly Savalas play Beau Bridges’ son. Did Lloyd sign off on this? Telly’s brother George has a bit part. “With Strings Attached” presents Donald Pleasence an almost young. “The White Knight” lets future Mission: Impossible star Steven Hill and Arrested Development‘s Jessica Walter have a forbidden affair with Ted Knight (Too Close For Comfort) investigating. “In a Plain Paper Wrapper” unleashes a mean Kurt Russell under the direction of Richard Donner. Only one more year and Kimble’s entire flight from justice will be captured on DVD.

    Perry Mason – Season 4, Volume 2 gives a dozen cases that twist like pretzel justice. “The Case of the Wintry Wife” goes boom when an inventor’s lab explodes. Michael Fox plays the autopsy surgeon. He’s the reason why there’s a Michael J. Fox. “The Case of the Angry Dead Man” has a rich guy gets declared dead even though he survived a near drowning. After a few days of being a ghost, he really does turn up dead. “The Case of the Barefaced Witness” presents Adam West. Always fun to see Batman tangle with Perry Mason (Raymond Burr). “The Case of the Grumbling Grandfather” creaks with Gavin MacLeod (The Love Boat). This is still my favorite legal series with it’s black and white certainty. There’s five more seasons to go.

    Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie – Extended Edition should be your go to holiday gift if you’ve got an elementary school niece. While doing an informal chat with 8 year old girls, I discovered that Selena Gomez has stolen all of Miley Cyrus’ heat. Gomez is part of a family of wizards-in-training. Her dad is played by David DeLuise, Dom’s son. The family goes on vacation and Gomez casts as spell that might wipe the family off the map. The only thing that can reverse her screwed up spell is the “Stone of Dreams.” Imagine the hours of silence as the kids leave you around during post Christmas cool down.

    The Tudors The Complete Third Season gives us even more of Henry VIII’s wives. Anne Boleyn met the axe so now Henry (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is on the prowl for a third wife. He’s also dealing with an insurrection upset at the ousting of the Catholic Church from England. Mostly they hate Thomas Cromwell (James Frain). Jane Seymour is next on base. She knows it’s all about popping out a boy to maintain her head. I don’t want to spoil this for those who skipped English history class, but Jane didn’t live for centuries to create the Open Hearts design. Henry remarries Anna of Cleeve (singer Joss Stone). This is a gutsy role since Stone is savaged as trollish. He moves onto Katherine Howard. She’s quite the minx. There’s only 8 episodes for this season even with three fresh wives in the mix. The next season on Showtime will wrap up Henry’s serial marrying ways along with his life. This is truly a classy production that properly relates history by mixing education with Cinemax After Dark moments.

    The Girl From Monaco tangles legal work with a romantic playground. Fabrice Luchini is a major lawyer with strange ticks. He heads to Monaco to defend a notorious character. However the lawyer has plans to drop his legal briefs for Louse Bourgoin. She’s messing with his mind as you’d expect from a vixen of her calibre. When she’s in pure seduction mode, you’ll forget there’s a film going on. He forgets he has a paying client as he goes native. Always nice to have a Riviera tale on the TV screen while it’s getting nippy outside.

    Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers is a Thai flavored take on Charlie’s Angels. This isn’t a carbon copy since you get five female undercover agents. The quintet are brought onto a case to protect the daughter of a professor and martial arts master. Gangsters swear she knows where to find the Andaman Pearl. She needs help from the Angels. There’s plenty of over the top action with plenty of the ladies kicking mobster ass. There’s a sweet car explosion that doesn’t look CGI enhanced. This is so much better than those Drew Barrymore Charlie’s Angels movies. The bonus features include music videos that introduce the five undercover agents.

  • Party Favors: Trumbo

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    SEATTLE — Dalton Trumbo was one of the biggest names in screenwriting who for the longest time wasn’t allowed to show his name on the screen. He won two Oscars, but wasn’t allowed to step onto the stage.

    At the peak of his career in 1947, he was brought before the House Un-American Activities Committee to testify about communists in Hollywood films. Like other screenwriters before the HUAC, he refused to answer the questions. Their decision to not name names got them blacklisted in the industry and sent to prison. After nearly a year behind bars, Dalton secretly returned to screenwriting. He used fake names and front writers on various project. It wasn’t till 1960 when his name accompanied Exodus and Spartacus that the blacklist was broken.

    Trumbo is a documentary about the writer that was originally a play written by his son Christopher Trumbo. The play had actors reading the letters written by Dalton over the course of his plight. The documentary was also written by Christopher as it mixed the letters with vintage with Dalton. Actors such as Dustin Hoffman, Liam Neeson, David Strathairn, Donald Sutherland and Michael Douglas read the letters of Dalton. It is a testimony to a man who survived and allowed his talent to shine in the darkest of hours.

    I had a chance to swap questions via email with Christopher Trumbo about his father, the film (which is just out on DVD from Magnolia Home Entertainment) and Christopher’s own career as a screenwriter that included Ironside and Quincy.

    Party Favors: How were royalty payments worked out when your father was writing under pen names? Or did they not have them at that time?

    Christopher Trumbo: Writers didn’t receive residuals until 1960 or 1961; after the WGA went on strike in 1960.

    PF: How did you feel about the experience of showing Trumbo at Durham’s Full Frame Documentary Film Festival?

    Trumbo: I was enormously pleased with the film’s reception at the Full Frame Festival, all the more so because of Elizabeth Edwards’ introduction. The festival itself was a delight, I was treated better than I deserve, and Durham seemed a charming town.

    PF: What was the most unusual thing you learned about your father while working on the documentary?

    Trumbo: I don’t think I learned anything new about my father from working on the documentary. But I always learn from the actors who read the letters. Each of them, and there have been many by this time if you include those who associated themselves with the play, brings a unique sensibility that continually adds to my knowledge.

    PF: Did you feel closer to your father during the process of making the film than when he was around?

    Trumbo: No. But the film and the play focused my attention on trying to give as accurate a picture of him as I could to everyone associated with the production. Not only who he was or why he did one thing rather than another, but how the events of his life were tied together and the evolution of his ideas.

    PF: Do you think you’ve figured out all the films he worked on under fake names?

    Trumbo: No, and I don’t think anyone will. In the end, it’s not that important. Remember, he worked on many films he wouldn’t have been associated with had he not been blacklisted and sometimes desperate for a job.

    PF: What did you think of Ann Coulter attempting to buff up the image of Joe McCarthy?

    Trumbo: I suppose it keeps her busy, and that’s not a bad thing. The world is filled with opportunities for mischief.

    PF: Do you find it ironic that your father won for The Brave One and Roman Holiday, but didn’t get to collect his Oscars, but Ring Lardner Jr. got to pick up the Oscar for MASH when he admitted that not a single line he wrote in the script made it to the screen?

    Trumbo: Ring received the Oscar for “MASH” after he had become “un-blacklisted,” so there is really no comparison with “The Brave One” and “Roman Holiday.” Mike Wilson and Carl Foreman also received Oscars posthumously, in their case for “Bridge Over the River Kwai.”

    For reasons that I am sure are clear to the Academy those Oscars were never alluded to or presented on television at Academy’s annual award ceremonies where sleek golden statuettes are bestowed upon the chosen, or in some cases to a surviving relative of the intended recipient if there has been a death.

    The Academy did sponsor public ceremonies for blacklisted writers where Oscars changed hands, but the occasions were of a quiet nature, the kind of ceremony that appears to be reserved for screenwriters who wrote clandestinely. The fact that Academy changed its rules at one point in the 1950s to make sure that a blacklisted writer would not receive one of its awards may have something to do with its later reluctance to acknowledge the achievements of blacklisted writers in the same way they would recognize any other writer. Second class ceremonies for Trumbo, Wilson and Foreman.

    PF: Do you think it was fair for the Academy to remove Ian McLellan Hunter’s name from the Oscar for Roman Holiday?

    Trumbo: The Academy has its own rules. I don’t believe that fairness has anything to do with its considerations.

    PF: What was it like establishing yourself as a screenwriter? Did your father’s name help or hurt during meetings? Did it give you a good sense of what sort of people you were dealing with?

    Trumbo: To tell the truth, I’m not sure that my father’s name helped or harmed me. Maybe some of each, but if so my guess is they balanced each other out.

    PF: When you wrote on Ironside, did you keep having to worry how you’d get the wheelchair into the locations since it was before they made buildings handicap accessible?

    Trumbo: Ironside was much too clever to let lack of wheelchair access stop him from seeing justice done. His assistants, by the way, were quite nimble.

    PF: What was it like working on the script for Quincy? Did they provide the scientific research? Did you get to write, “That’s tantamount to murder?”

    Trumbo: Neither the network, the studio, or the people working on “Quincy” provided me or my co-writer, Jeff Freilich, any scientific research. We did it all ourselves.

    I can’t imagine writing tantamount in dialog except as a possible rhyme for catamount, and then only if the character is reciting a limerick.

    PF: Have you seen people change their opinion of your father after seeing the film?

    Trumbo: I don’t know if anyone has changed their mind about my father as a result of seeing the film, and if they have, I haven’t been told. I’m certain there are people who had never heard of Trumbo who now have an opinion of him, and what that opinion is remains a mystery to me.

    CHILD LABOR LAWS

    In an attempt to cash in on using my offspring as a stepping stone to a Ryan Seacrest produced reality show; here’s the start of a series called, “Things I Can Tell My Daughter While She Hasn’t A Clue What I’m Saying.” Today’s topic is Disney films.

    I’m ready to party with Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin.

    HALFTIME

    This geezer tells me that he no longer watch the NFL games on TV because they cut away at halftime to the studio for game updates instead of showing 12 minutes of cheerleaders entertaining the crowd. I didn’t have a heart to tell the oldtimer that halftime at NFL games isn’t that exciting and doesn’t involve cheerleaders doing high school level routines. Got to let the man die with a fantasy intact.

    The goal of any sports franchise at halftime is to get your ass in line for another two overpriced cups of beer. Entertainment detracts from that circle of cash. Although at Bengals-Browns games, halftime is when they have suicide prevention counselors next to the urinals.

    BEAM ME UP 1080P

    Star Trek – The Original Series: Season 2 Blu-ray gives us high definition transfers of the show with both the original effects and new CGI enhanced effects as options. You can choice if you want old school Trek or cyber school images. The second season (of three seasons) is memorable for one major reason: Tribbles! Those cute fuzzy balls of joy appear in “The Trouble with Tribbles.” The disc also contains the Tribble episodes from the animated cartoon series and Deep Space Nine. “Amok Time” has Spock returning to Vulcan to mate. Except it’s more complicated there than a bottle of Jack Daniels and a copy of Roxy Music’s Avalon. “Mirror, Mirror” puts Kirk into an alternate universe where the Enterprise crew are out of control. “Patterns of Force” takes the crew to a Nazi planet. “Bread and Circuses” switches it up to a Roman planet. Not to be confused with “Who Mourns for Adonais?” with an alien thinking he’s a Greek god. It’s a fine 26 episodes on the second season. The best bonus feature is “Billy Blackburn’s Home Movies.” He was the silent crewman who filled in for Sulu on the bridge. Turns out he had plenty of duties on the show playing monsters and aliens, but still had time to break out his movie camera to gets glimpses of the show. The remastered high-def image is space age superiority when compared to the old DVDs. This is the ultimate version of Star Trek: Season 2 that should sit on your TV next to your Klingon to Vulcan Dictionary. The Season 3 Blu-ray is scheduled for Dec. 15.

    BLU-RAY FEAR-FEST

    The Hannibal Lecter Collection Blu-ray gives us the first three films featuring everyone’s favorite cannibalistic shrink in 1080p glory. Manhunter was Michael Mann’s attempt to bring the Miami Vice style to the world of Cinemascope. The camera angles are sleek and the soundtrack dominates the action. William Petersen (C.S.I.) is the FBI profiler brought back into action to hunt down a serial killer who kills families. Petersen’s technique is to get into the head of the killer. This takes him into dark places. He gets a little assistance from Hannibal Lecktor (Brian Cox) in hunting down a serial killer nicknamed the Tooth Fairy (Tom Noonan ofMonster Squad). The big finale is all timed to Iron Butterfly’s “Inna Gadda Da Vida”. Silence of the Lambs is the Oscar standard for serial killer films. Nearly 2 decades later, the interaction between Jodie Foster’s FBI agent and Anthony Hopkins’ version of Lector is thrilling. Ted Levine (Monk) is peerless as the Jame Gumb torturing Brooke Smith (Weeds). Keep an eye out for the legendary Tracey Walter (Repo Man) and Charles Napier (Squidbillies). Hannibal lets Anthony Hopkins take Hannibal on a tasting tour of Italy. Julianne Moore takes over Jodie Foster’s role. This is a semi-love story where Ray Liotta gets served like monkey brains. The transfers on all three films look great. There are no bonus features so don’t dump your DVDs if you upgrade.

    Child’s Play Blu-ray reminds us why it’s not good for cops to shoot down killers inside toy stores. In this case, the killer transfers his evil soul into the body of a Chucky doll. And this little creeping plastic boy is ready to continue life-taking. He wants to put his soul into his new owner. This is what spurred the long running series. There’s loads of bonus features and a DVD copy for you to let the kids watch in the back of the mini-van. It’s a great way to get them to shut up about going to Toys-R-Us.

    Wrong Turn -Blu-ray reminds America why under all circumstance, there is no good short cut that involves cutting through West Virginia. Two cars make the wrong turn and end up wrecking in the middle of nowhere in the backwoods mountains. You’d figure this could be a cute romance with Jeremy Sisto (Six Feet Under) working his magic on Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse) and Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloan on Entourage). But before this can turn into a Cinema After Dark masterpiece, a pack of mutant cannibalistic hillbillies attack them. Why do these toothless wonders have to interrupt the love? This film reminds us why it’s best to take the long way to Raleigh, North Carolina. Amongst the bonus features is a commentary track with Dushku contributing.

    Wrong Turn 2: Dead End – Blu-ray takes us back into the West Virginia hills. This time Henry Rollins is the host of a survivalist reality competition show. He drags six kids into the wilderness with the quest of seeing which one can thrive. However mutant cannibal hillbillies aren’t part of the pre-production schedule. Did the PAs remember to get model release forms signed by the hillbillies? Shame there aren’t more reality shows that mix their cast with inbred cannibal hillbillies. This would be great upgrade for Hell’s Kitchen. The bonus features allow us to study the thespian techniques of Henry Rollins.

    Misery – Bluray is also another warning tale involving evil people you can encounter in the mountains. However instead of an inbred cannibal, writer James Caan encounters uber-fan Kathy Bates when she saves him from a snowy wreck. While he recovers at her house, she gets a sneak peak at his upcoming novel. She’s doesn’t like his latest plot twist and decides to give him attitude adjustment involving a lighter fluid and sledgehammers. Bates won the Oscar for being the ultimate psycho fan and she’s extra creepy in Hi-Def. They include the DVD version as a bonus. It contains all the special features including several pieces on stalking fans. There’s a commentary track from Rob Reiner.

    DVD SHELF

    The Paul Newman: The Tribute Collection contains 13 of the icon’s finer screen moments. The set includes The Long, Hot Summer, Rally ’round the Flag, Boys!, From the Terrace, Exodus, The Hustler, Adventures of a Young Man, What a Way to Go!, Hombre, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Towering Inferno, Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull’s History Lesson, Quintet and The Verdict. Has it really been a year since Newman passed away? He was one of finest actors, a fun race car driver and a great salad dressing chef. His best three films in this box set are The Hustler, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Verdict. Although for pure dumb fun, put on The Towering Inferno. He’s the architect of a skyscraper that catches fire because of cheap wiring. It’s up to Newman, Steve McQueen and O.J. Simpson to save the party in the penthouse. One thing you’ll realize after a few of these films is that Paul Newman knew how to act with a drink in his hand. This collection goes perfect with a bag of Newman’s Own popcorn.

    The Haunted World of El Superbeasto allows Rob Zombie to bring motion to his outrageous comic creations. The main hero is a Mexican wrestler who has branched out to making adult films and fighting Dr. Satan (voiced by Paul Giamatti). Turns out the ultimate in evil is going to marry Rosario Dawson. Superbeasto doesn’t care too much, but superheroine Suzi X (Sheri Moon Zombie) makes it her business while she’s fighting nazi zombies. It’s kind of like an Adult Swim project except with tons of female nudity. They have plenty of great actors contributing voices including Clint Howard, Sid Haig, Geoffrey Lewis, Laraine Newman, Danny Trejo and Elvira. Unfortunately there’s no bonus feature of them in the vocal booth. They do have moments that didn’t make the cut.

    Taxi: The Fourth Season finally arrives after four years since the release of Season 3. Talk about a slow cab ride. This is the series that launched the career of Jeff Conaway into Celebrity Rehab stardom. This season he pops up until he’s completely written out. Who needs him when you’ve got Tony Danza? “Jim the Psychic” has Christopher Llyod (Back to the Future) swear he sees the death of Judd Hirsch. Part of the vision come true enough to spook Danny Devito that his favorite cabbie is going to bite it. “Vienna Waits” has Judd and Marilou Henner take a B-roll tour of Europe. Will their vacation lead to a romantic getaway? Or will Judd be a big tool? A slight warning that there are a few musical moments clipped. A guitarist song to Henner on the airplane is grounded. The 24 episodes have plenty of laugh worthy moments especially with the antics of Andy Kaufman as Latka. The fifth (and final) season is scheduled for Dec. 22

    Mitch Fatel Is Magic: Live, Extended & Uncensored brings us the dirty Rain Man of comedy. Mitch has nailed the man-child voice without it being irritating. His observations about sex, oral sex, breasts and sex with animals are disturbing and on target. The Oral sex with closed eyes routine has been proven true by medical science. “The handjob is the ugly stepsister of all the jobs,” he declares. He’s like a third grader explaining sex on the playground if the kid figured out how to get past his parents’ web-block program on the computer. He mentions how finding out his date had sex with a horse would be a bit of a bump in establishing a relationship. Unlike the short Comedy Central special, the DVD performance is 65 minutes without any bloopers. And what’s the point of missing out on Mitch discussing golden showers? For those fearful of comedy magic – it’s just one trick at the start. The bonuses on the DVD include cut jokes including his Christian Bale moment, animated version of his matching bra and panties joke and fans testifying to Mitch being a pervert. This is the perfect gift to send the Duggar family.

    The Ghost Whisperer: The Fourth Season brings us more Jennifer Love Hewitt talking to dead people. This is a big season since Jennifer’s Melinda ends up marrying Jim Clancy (David Conrad). Even on their honeymoon, she can’t stop seeing ghosts. Which is strange since most honeymooners don’t see what’s on the other side of their hotel room door. She also gets knocked up. The scary season finale has her discover the date of her death is her due date. Is it a spoiler if CBS is advertising a fifth season is going on the air with Jennifer? Bonus features include the webisodes, interactive games a tribute to Jamie Kennedy joining the show as Eli James. In case you don’t read People Magazine, Kennedy is Jennifer’s boyfriend. Guess he’s getting career advice from Tom Arnold.

    Friday 13th The Series: The Final Season gives us the last 19 episodes of the syndicated series that ended in 1990. Not to give away any secrets, but Jason Voorhees doesn’t make a cameo in the final episode. The show has Louise Robey and Steve Monarque running around the country retrieving evil items sold from an evil antiques store. The series was shot in Canada so the guest stars are probably more famous for readers in Toronto. “Crippled Inside” is an early break for Dean McDermott before he made a career out of shagging Tori Spelling. “Year of the Monkey” has Tia Carrera (Wayne’s World). Colm Feore (Slings and Arrows) proves he’s “Mightier Than the Sword.” The final episode “The Charnel Pit” has Robey fall through a painting and meet the Marquis de Sade. She gets laced up and ready for a flogging.

    Director Brett Ratner The Shooter Series: Volume 1 is the backstory to the man who took the helm of the Rush Hour films. This is a collection of his music videos and commercials. Among the videos are Madonna’s “Beautiful Stranger,” Wu-Tang Clan’s “Triumph” and LL Cool J’s “Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings.” Now that’s a title of a song that always needs to get referenced in reviews of NCIS: Los Angeles. Ratner provide commentary to all the projects. A 33 minute documentary is a celebrity testimonial to his talent. Best moment is him showing Jessica Simpson how to strut around the General Lee in her “Boots Were Made For Walking” video.

    Triangle brings together a threesome of legendary Hong Kong directors on one project. Johnny To (The Heroic Trio), Tsui Hark (Once Upon a Time in China) and Ringo Lam (City On Fire) each wrote and directed a 30 minute segment of the film. Three men desperately in need of cash get involved in a robbery scheme that turns into a treasure map. It gets good and twisted when a shady cop banging one of their wives muscles his way into the action. There’s plenty of action on the screen from this trio.

    Fame: The Complete Seasons 1 & 2 tones down the movie about the high school for the performing arts. It’s still a drama about talented high school students that want to perform, but they’re not merely as messed up as real art school kids. Debbie Allen is the dance instructor that stirs the pot. Benjamin Hague is the music teacher who wants to get these kids to reach deep down for their art although he doesn’t like synths. Gene Anthony Ray is the dancer who must overcome his educational deficiencies to keep learning how to move. It’s a nice primer for anyone thinking they should apply to an art school. The first 38 episodes on 8 single-sided DVDs.

    Brotherhood: The Final Season wraps up the Showtime series about two powerful brothers in Rhode Island. Tommy is a moving up fast in state government. Mike is also making a power grab in the local crime world. The show has a gritty real feel like The Wire. Unfortunately it never quite grabbed the cult love which explains why it only got 8 episodes in its farewell lap. Luckily all three seasons are now on DVD so you can rediscover it on your own time.

    Life On Mars: The Complete Series adapts the Manchester sci-fi cop drama to the gritty streets of New York City in 1973. They did a good job in the casting of the US version with Jason O’Mara as Detective Sam Tyler, Harvey Keitel as Lt. Gene Hunt, Michael Imperioli as Det. Ray Carling and Gretchen Mol as Annie Norris. In case you haven’t seen the original, while on a case in 2008, Sam Tyler gets knocked out. He wakes up and it’s 1973. He can’t figure out if this is a coma dream or if he really went through a slip in time. He has to keep up his job as a cop, but he no longer has modern crime fighting tools like cellphones and the internet. He’s at the mercy of Keitel, a cop who likes to beat out confessions. There’s constant hints that something is weird as Sam sees little robots and hears voices from the future. The show was just a little bit too weird for American audiences and lasted only 17 episodes. A bonus feature here has Lee Majors visiting the cast. How will Michael Imperioli’s mustache react to meeting the Six Million Dollar Man?

    CSI NY: The Fifth Season brings us more criminal tales from the rotten core of the Big Apple. “Veritas” has Gary Sinise being found after being kidnapped at the end of last season. However he can’t be much help since a concussion has made him forget what happened. Elias Koteas (Crash and Exotica) guest stars so you know trouble is around the corner. “Page Turner” has a woman turn up dead at a Maroon Five concert. Coincidentally, the only reason I’d be at a Maroon Five concert is because someone killed me and dumped my body in the cheap seats. You wouldn’t sniff a corpse in the crowd with their crap coming out of the speakers. “My Name is Mac Taylor” has a serial killer taking victims who have the same name as Gary Sinise’s character. “Forbidden Fruit” has a woman die after eating the latest miracle fruit. Did Oprah and Dr. Oz promote this episode? There’s 25 episodes this season.

    Ugly Betty: The Complete Third Season wraps up what might be the end of the Ugly era. Rumor has it that the next season America Ferrera is getting a makeover on scale with The Devil Wears Prada. For this season, we get a little taste of crazy with Lindsay Lohan as a guest star. Seems like she was supposed to last a little longer in the role, but she drove the producers nuts. I’m shocked. Supposedly she was more out of control than her back biting character who uses and abuses Betty. As a bit of a rest, they also cast the always charming Bernadette Peters (The Jerk). She still looks great after all these years.

    Castle: The Complete First Season has all 10 episodes of the mid-season replacement series. The premise has Rick Castle (Nathan Fillion) being a famous crime writer who gets called by the NYPD when a serial killer is copy-cat killing based on his novels. He hooks up with Det. Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) to follow the case. He starts to work on his next book with a fictionalized version of her as his new lead character. The show harkens back to Remington Steele in tone and chemistry between the two leads. There’s also a Rockford Files vibe since Stephen J. Cannell cameos. A bonus feature lets Cannell take center stage.

    The Hills Run Red claims that in 1982 the original version of The Hills Run Red was released and quickly pulled from theaters because it was just too disgusting. The prints were destroyed and the cast vanished. This movie is about the mystery of that movie. Did it really exist? Young filmmaker Tad Hilgenbrinck can’t stop investigating it. His main lead is Sophie Monk. She’s dancing in a stripclub. Unlike Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body, Sophie drops her top while shaking it in the champagne room. She guides Tad and his friends out to the rural location of the film. Turns out her co-star is still on the scene. The bloodbath continues since someone wants to make a sequel. There’s a 28 minute behind the scene documentary to remind us this was all just a film, although it’s still a very gory film.

  • Party Favors: Gary Cole Interview

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    TALLADEGA — When a filmmaker wants to depict America’s legendary rugby coach in a film, only a legend actor can handle the job. Forever Strong shines a light on Highland High’s Coach Larry Gelwix. How good is he? His teams are 361-9 in the last three decades. He’s brought 18 of the last 24 National High School titles back to Salt Lake City. Who could dramatically play such an imposing figure behind such figures? Gary Cole took the whistle.

    The star of Pineapple Express and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby dialed up the Party Favors hotline to discuss his role in Forever Strong which has recently been released on DVD. Oddly enough, the star of Midnight Caller rang me in the afternoon.

    Being in the right place at the right time was the key to Cole landing the role of Coach Gelwix.

    “I was in Salt Lake City in the summer of 2006 making a baseball movie (American Pasttime) when Forever Strong was being prepped and set to go,” Cole said. “I got a call barely two weeks before they were set to shoot. They had the rugby guys in bootcamp for five weeks. I got the call and switched my bags from one hotel to another.”

    With such a short time, how did Cole tap into playing a real life figure?

    “I got the script and I was able to meet with Larry (Gelwix). We talked about the team and his experiences,” Cole said. “Far as the rugby was concerned, he was around all the time. We just went on the fly. It wasn’t like I had two months to bone up on my rugby knowledge – which is still limited. It’s kinda of a difficult game to grasp.”

    After this experience, was Cole inspired to coach a rec league rugby team?

    “I would say no,” Cole declared. “I’ve played a lot of coaches. If it’s a sport you know, you can throw semi-intelligent ad libs from the sidelines because you know the game.” However rugby didn’t fit into the tested coach cliches since there’s no forward passes. “We were always dumbfounded. What should we be saying other than ‘go faster!’ Most of the time you couldn’t hear us and we were shouting out showtunes to crack each other up. They just needed some kind of syllables.”

    There are very little signal calling action for the coaches during the game. The nature of the action ended up dictating the game action captured on film.

    “There’s very little Xs and Os. It’s dictated by the movement of the ball. It’s pretty improvisational,” Cole said. This improv nature of the game became a part of filming the action on the filed. “They just let them play a lot of times. There were scripted things that had to happen in terms of story. But a lot of times they put the camera on a length of track and just let them play.”

    Rugby is known for its brutal action with lack of pads and helmets. The slogan “give blood, play rugby” is truth. How much bloodshed was there on the field during the shoot? Was there a disabled list on the call sheet?

    “Nothing that took anybody out like ‘Oh God, here we go. We got to shut it down. Sean (Faris) earned his money. He had to take most of the shots and they were in the scripts. They were headhunting him and he was the ball carrier. He got his share of bruises, fingers dislodged and a couple of groin pulls here and there. He took plenty of Advil and abuse,” Cole said.

    Even though he didn’t have to take the physical abuse, Cole suffered for the shoot.

    “It was the middle of summer in Salt Lake City,” Cole said. “It was 102 degrees. The coaches hardest job was finding shade on the sidelines and sipping our Gatorade.”

    We discussed the unusual nature of a movie about the ultimate overdog. Sports movies are always about the scrappy underdog going against the well oiled machine. Whether it be Rocky, The Bad News Bears or the 1980 US hockey team; the big dog is meant to be taken down in these films. How did Cole work his version of Gelwik so that he wasn’t Vic Morrow? How do you make the audience embrace the winner who always wins?

    “I think (the movie) had less to do with the success of the team as it did with why and how they’re a success. His methods more than winning and losing,” Cole said. “The story isn’t centered on him. The center is Sean. It’s seen through his eyes. He’s the one changing more drastically in the movie. Larry, the coach, is there doing what he does and has been doing for a long time.”

    There is a Vic Morrow character in the form of Sean’s father played by Neal McDonough. He’s a vicious field coach who hates Gelwik. His anger builds when his troubled son ends up on Highland. Did Cole find the level of his character by balancing his Gelwik off McDonough’s rat bastard coach?

    “No. I didn’t base anything I was doing by viewing him when I wasn’t working. We didn’t have all that much to do together. That’s more of a job of the director to balance out,” Cole said.

    How does Larry Gelwix measure up to the ultimate coach that Cole has played: Reese Bobby in Talladega Nights?

    “They both had different methods, but the results were the same,” Cole declared. “Reese had his own methods. He was pretty one-dimensional in his approach. I don’t think he would have had the patience for a rugby team.”

    Would Reese have released a live cougar on the Highland team bus?

    “He could have done that, but then there would be a lawsuit. Ricky Bobby wasn’t a minor,” Cole said.

    Seeing how Gelwik has only lost 9 games, I ask Cole if he found the coach sensitive about those defeats?

    “I don’t know,” Cole admitted. “He’s emotionally an even keel guy. He’s more Phil Jackson and less George Karl.”
    ?What makes the coach even more amazing of a figure is that this is not his day job. He’s not pulling in the big bucks from Nike.

    “He’s a volunteer. He’s a travel agent,” Cole said. “That says something about him and his method as well.”

    Gary Cole has been on a great roll over the last decade. As Bill Lumbergh in Office Space, Cole delivered the greatest comic sex scene in motion picture history. He was the Vice President of the United States on The West Wing. But I wondered if people ever got him confused with Gary Collins.

    “Gary Collins – no. Gary Coleman – yes,” Cole declared. “I’ve been introduced as Gary Coleman on several occasions.”

    Coincidentally, if you type Gary Cole’s name into the imdb, the first actor on the list is Gary Coleman.

    His role as Mike Brady in The Brady Bunch Movie was marked a stellar dadfro. Did he hang onto the curly haired wig?

    “I did at one time. I think it’s burned up in the atmosphere,” Cole admitted. “The thing about The Brady Bunch is that when I wasn’t on the set, rarely people knew that it was me. You take that hair off, you’re a different person. I didn’t get a lot of association with the movie until later.”

    Gary has a massive filmography. Does he ever take a day off?

    “I’ve been fairly busy. I’m doing this season of Entourage. There’s plenty of days off. Most of the parts I get are wrapped up in two to three weeks in the course of a two to three month movie,” Cole said.

    Besides working live action, Cole has been busy behind the microphone in animated shows including Kim Possible, King of the Hill and Family Guy. His crowning achievement was the lead in Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. Stephen Colbert voiced Phil Ken Sebben, the owner of the Hanna-Barbera themed legal firm. Did Cole and Colbert rock the microphones at the same time?
    “We never did the voices together. We never met until after the show had wrapped. I met him at what turned out to be the last Aspen Comedy Festival. They were doing a tribute to him. Most of the time he was in New York,” Cole said.

    Back in the ’80s, Cole was a finalist for the role of Sonny Crockett on Miami Vice. I had to know if he had landed the gig instead of Don Johnson; would Gary Cole have released a rock album?

    He laughed for a while. “Highly doubtful,” Cole declared.

    In an alternate universe, there isn’t a Rolling Stone magazine cover insisting “Gary Cole: Rock n Roll Star.”

    WHY NOT THE SHE-TEAM?

    Why exactly are they going to make A-Team into a feature film? Must we watch another batch of actors dress up in Halloween costumes for two hours? Liam Neeson playing Col. Hannibal Smith? He was going to retire from acting after Phantom Menace. Is he really going to get the rejuvenation spark from saying, “I love it when a plan comes together?” The guy would be so much better off just making Banacek: The Movie. Bradley Cooper is supposed to be Face and Common as Mr. T. How sad and predictable. Why not get semi-creative and cast Katee Sackhoff as Face. She’s already proven to be an equal of Dirk Benedict as Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica. Why not let her tackle his other big TV role? Or just cast her as B.A. Baracus? The woman has more attitude than the snoozer cast being floated by Scott Free.

    FINALLY

    Shutter Island finally brings together the superstar teaming of Martin Scorsese and Jackie Earle Haley. Leonardo DiCaprio better give full respect to the man who perfected the troubled teen persona when junket time rolls around.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    The Siege Blu-ray gives a new life to a thriller that deserves a second viewing based on its story and amazing list of supporting actors. A decade after its release, this “It can’t happen here” story of radical Islamic terrorists striking New York City is almost a text book of what people have seen happen in the post-9/11 Manhattan. The terrorists are blowing up buses and Broadway theaters to the point where the military takes control of Brooklyn to weed them out. The ending is a bit too optimistic compared to the harsh reality of what happened when they struck in New York City. But it is rather good at foreshadowing the nature of the enemy we’ve been fighting for the last 8 years. While the film stars Denzel Washington, Annette Bening and Bruce Willis, it’s the faces that have become familiar over the last decade that make this movie more surprising than a backpack of C-4. Denzel’s main FBI man is Tony Shalhoub (Monk). The Daily Show‘s Aasif Mandvi is tied in with the terrorists. Also in minor roles are Lance Reddick (The Wire and Fringe), David Proval (The Sopranos) and Mark Valley (Keen Eddie). The Blu-ray brings out the explosions detail. The battle of Brooklyn is exceptionally vivid in the format. There are no bonus features which is a shame since it’d be nice to have terrorism experts pondering if this was a vision of the future.

    Predator 2 – Blu-ray brings an intergalactic hunter out of the jungle and into Los Angeles. What’s the best way to stop the carnage? Have him sign a development deal with Pax-TV. Danny Glover is the cop who finds himself the target of the semi-visible target. The movie doesn’t have the complete punch of The Predator. But it’s fascinating to see the alien killing machine wrecking the urban jungle as he looks for the most dangerous game in Hollywood. The high definition picture makes the alien effects glow. The strange thrill will come from seeing Morton Downey Jr. in 1080p. The bonus features give a sense of what the writers and director went through to bring this sequel to the city.

    Lost: The Complete First Season – Blu-ray and Lost: The Complete Second Season – Blu-ray give the 1080p love to one of the most complex network TV shows since The Prisoner. The Complete First Season jolts everything as Oceanic flight 815 crashes onto an uncharted island. The passengers learn quickly to survive as they realize there’s little hope for a quick rescue. Each episode allows us to explore the various survivors as they explore the mysterious island. What is the deal with polar bears in the tropics? What is the force that drags people into holes? Why did John Locke (Terry O’Quinn) become such a survivalist stud even though he had an issue before takeoff. What are “The Others” that lurk on the island? It’s a frightening time around the campfire. And with the higher resolutions, you’ll be scared by things that go bump in the jungle. The big cliffhanger has them bust into a mysterious metal hatch. What’s down there? The Complete Second Season answers the hatch question with startling results. Not to spoil the fun, but Clancy Brown (Highlander) plays a startling guest role. He will remind you to push the button or else. Another big thing is a flashback that allows us to discover what happened to the Oceanic passengers that got stuck at the back of the plane. The passengers at the front finally encounter the Others. It ain’t a good meetin. The hi-def video quality is stunning on the big screen. The lush tropical nature of the show will make you sweat if you marathon the episodes. You can reach out and touch Matthew Fox’s beard. These first two seasons help set up the weirdness that would come. In case you’re wondering, next season will have the final 17 episodes. Time to catch up before the TV event of 2010 strikes when everything gets answered. For those pondering upgrading your original DVDs, there is a $20 rebate on each boxset. This is a geek out recommend.

    Home – Blu-ray is a lush aerial documentary of the Earth. Yann Arthus-Bertrand takes his camera around the globe to let us see what’s going on. Besides the artistry of these bird’s eye views, the movie reminds us that our actions do have reactions. Many of them aren’t that pretty. Glenn Close narrates the footage. If you like to watch Baraka after a few refreshments, Home deserves a spot on your Blu-ray shelf.

    Friday 13th, Part 2 – Blu-ray gets the upgrade action. The film starts off with the final showdown between what we think is Jason and Alice Hardy (Adrienne King). Watch the high definition picture, the entire opening scene really does make little sense. Who is the killer and who is the victim? It’s a really disjointed opening scene. The main story has Camp Crystal Lake reopening with a whole new batch of eager camp counselors. Do these kids not understand what happened to the last batch? Maybe it has been five years, but they’re going to get it. Why? Cause Jason is back although he hasn’t started wearing his hockey mask. He goes crazy with the new staff. Who will live to tell the tale? There’s quite a few fun bonus features for fans wanting to know more about this low budget slasher series that made a major profit at the box office. They even take us to a horror convention to get a sense of the film’s fans.

    Friday 13th, Part 3 3-D- Blu-ray really lets you absorb the coming at you action versus the recent DVD release. If you’ve decided to buy the 70 inch widescreen set versus sending the kids to Harvard, prepare to jump behind the sofa. Jason is coming for you. And they’ll be coming for your friend since there’s two set of 3-D glasses in the plastic box. The movie has Jason finally move on from slaughtering camp counselors. Now he’s killing people in the area around the camp. It’s so touching when a mindless killing machine branches out. And with the red and blue lensed glasses, you’ll be able be a part of this moment. This is also the film where he dons the hockey goalie mask. “Legacy of the Mask” deals with the mask over the next several films in the series. “Fresh Cuts: 3D Terror” lets us know why the producers decided to make the terror jump out of the screen. The films was such a hit, they ran out of glasses. There’s also a 2-D version of the film for people who don’t want to be super scared. This is the perfect gift if you’re attempting to give someone a case of nightmares for the next summer.

    DVD SHELF

    Another three Friday 13th installments arrive as Deluxe Editions. You might want to spread some plastic on the floor in front of the TV to keep the blood from staining the carpet.

    Friday 13th: The Final Chapter – Deluxe Edition was supposed to wrap up the saga of Jason Voorhees. They brought back make up man Tom Savini to kill off his creation. They even brought in major star power with Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman. Guess who survives? You’re wrong! Really wrong. For what was supposed to be a finale, Jason decides to crash a house party in the woods. Crispin Glover and his pals can’t even find the place. But Jason has no problems locating the residence. He must have used Google Slaughter Earth. Corey Feldman is the creepy kid who lives next to the party house. He’s a lonely dork who loves making monster make up. He’s like a young Tom Savini. During the scenes where Corey gets chased by Jason, it’s easy to think that this would foreshadow his relationship with Michael Jackson. Not to spoil the film, but Jason’s death is extremely gruesome. Damn shame this moment wasn’t shot in 3-D. The big bonus feature is the deleted ending of the film. There’s no soundtrack so it gets described. “Jason’s Unlucky Day” lets the director talk about all the moments that had to get snipped by MPAA orders to get the R rating. It’s more brutal than the action on the screen.

    Friday 13th Part V: A New Beginning – Deluxe Edition brings back Corey Feldman for the opening scene. He fears that Jason isn’t really dead. Two dumb jocks dig up a sloppy grave and get slaughtered by the hockey mask wearing killer. Turns out that this might be a dream. In fact it’s been years since Corey Feldman (SPOILER ALERT) had his way with Jason. Now he’s a grown up played by John Shepherd. Trouble is he’s stuck in a nut house. Jason returns from the grave and sends the troubled teens to a violent end. At least we think he has. Someone with a machete and a hockey mask is slashing away. The best victim is the new wave girl with the funky hair and Walkman. “New Beginnings” gives the background on this production. They went out of their way to hide the fact that this was another Friday 13th movie. They didn’t want the fans to think they were ripped off at the death of Jason. You won’t want to watch this first since there’s a montage showing everyone who gets killed in the film. It’s a major spoiler. There’s another installment of “Lost Tales From Camp Blood” and “Crystal Lake Massacres Revisited.” These two shorts are goofy as they ad to the weirdness of Jason’s history.

    Friday 13th Part VI: Jason Lives – Deluxe Edition really does revive Jason. Corey Feldman’s character is now played by Thom Matthews. He and a pal dig up Jason’s grave to cremate the body. This plan goes severely wrong. Jason ends up making a major comeback. Hopefully that clue didn’t ruin the truth of Part V. But now Tommy and Jason get to battle once more. Although it’s not as fun since it’s not Corey Feldman being chased around. There’s more killing and carnage. Do not mistake this DVD for the Baby Einstein series. The DVD contains various scenes that were slashed to get the R-rating. Why couldn’t Tommy just let Jason rot in his grave?

    All three boxes have cool 3-D graphics on the covers. They’re perfect for decorating your veal pen.

  • Party Favors: Hey, JJ!

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    BURBANK — There’s a black hole sucking up all the stars. Who could have imagined in such a short period of time we’d lose Dom DeLuise, Bea Arthur, J.G. Ballard and Danny Gans? Was there enough pages in People magazine give proper remembrance to these dearly departed? All the pages written by Proust wouldn’t cover their greatness.

    Dom DeLuise is the one closeSt to me. He’s responsible for getting me into the wild world of showbiz. He didn’t merely inspire me with his work on The End and Lotsa Luck. I really did work for him one summer.

    Dom was doing his best to lose weight at Duke’s Diet Center. He’d signed on to be the host of a revived Candid Camera. The producers shot his gotcha bits in Raleigh. They needed a local crew and I ended up with my first production assistant gig. After working way too many flunky jobs, the life of a P.A. was a major upgrade. The greatest thing about true showbiz work is that they feed you. No clocking out for lunch and burning your paycheck on food. They ordered it up and served it without docking your wages. They also provided snacks and drinks for free. Forget the guidance counselor, let your stomach let you know what’s your true profession. The only downside was anyone was caught eating around Dom would be fired. No second warning. Nobody had a problem with that rule. There was no need to tease Dom with a Snickers bar. This wasn’t nearly as harsh as being told on the set of Matlock that you’ll be fired if you make eye contact with Andy Griffith.

    Dom was rather easy to be around. He wasn’t uptight like some talent. As a comic, he was more annoying than funny. I found myself laughing or mostly smiling at his jokes so that he didn’t try harder. It was like being stuck in the blooper reel of Cannonball Run II.

    Dom wasn’t too fussy during the gags. He rolled with the unsuspecting victims. He approved of my alteration of a set up. They were going to see how far they could take a funeral director when it came to setting up outrageous plans. The Hollywood braintrust had a lame list of “can I get this….” as Dom was making arrangements for a dear friend. I suggested that the joke is that the Dom’s friend wants to be buried in his car. The twist is that the guy was a devoted carpooler and wants three other people buried in the car with him. The thing we discovered was funeral home directors won’t say no and don’t have a sense of humor. Dom said, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.” The funeral home director read Dom the riot act. The piece crashed and burned. We canceled all the other funeral directors. My shot at writing Smokey and the Bandit V fizzled.

    Burt Reynolds was supposed to drop by for a segment. I suggested Dom and Burt sell tubesocks out of a van in the hopes of raising enough money for Cannonball Run III. How will the fans react to their stars being reduced down to street side merchants? The producers seemed open to concept, but Burt never made it to town. Dom did appreciate me joking that Burt and Loni shared custody of him. Burt got him for TV shows and Loni for movies of the week.

    One morning Dom was outraged that one of his kids had run up a huge phone bill calling 976 pay numbers. I’m not sure which kid or what service. Could have been the Twin Peaks clue line. I calmed Dom by explaining that he merely had to tell the phone company that the calls were made without his knowledge. The phone company would block his phone from dialing those numbers and drop the charges. The next day he showed up at location and thanked me for saving him a small fortune.

    My most lasting memory of Dom was at the end of the last day. We were wrapping up the cables. Dom took a long stare at me and announced to all, “Joe, you look like an axe murderer.”

    That time I laughed. Cause he might have been right.

    THE OTHER OBITS

    Bea Arthur’s passing means I’ll have to find a new punchline. She was a sweet woman with the most iconic mustache this side of Rollie Fingers. Mostly I’ll remember her for those massive vest coats she wore as Maude. With the passing of Bea, Suzanne Pleshette and Brett Somers, our daughters will have no broads to idolize. Sony really needs to get the other four seasons of Maude out on DVD.

    Perhaps the most disappointing death belongs to J.G. Ballard. The novelist defined the primal nature in a high tech world with High Rise and the Concrete Island. He wrote some of the most amazing deaths in his books. Why didn’t the author of Crash go out with a major bang? He still could have slammed his car into Elizabeth Taylor’s limo while masturbating behind the wheel? He could have taken out Bea Arthur.

    Upon hearing that Danny Gans died, I pondered if he had tapped too deep into his George Burns impersonation. Danny was a Las Vegas creation. No matter where you go in Vegas, there’s his face on billboards, taxicab roofs and bathroom stall doors. A tourist visiting Sin City for the first time always wondered why was Gans hailed as “Las Vegas Entertainer of the Year?” He was a mystery wrapped in an enigma with a sold out run at the Mirage. Turns out his show had him doing musical impersonations. He was like a singing Frank Gorshin. The old people liked him. Steve Wynn supposedly paid the guy $200 million to move to his Encore hotel. On my last trip to Vegas, I tramped through the Mirage to pay homage to the Danny Gans theater (he hadn’t gone across the street). The show was nearly over. The usher asked if I wanted to sneak inside to see the finale. She wanted me to experience Danny. I couldn’t go cause the wife was in the bathroom and by the time she got out, the crowd was departing. But it felt good to know that the people who worked for Danny didn’t treat it as a job, but an avocation. She wanted me to get a tiny piece of the Gans magic. Now Danny Gans is gone. Siegfried and Roy have also left the Strip. What remains in Vegas are anonymous Cirque De Soleil shows and Criss Angel. As much as people enjoyed poking fun at Danny Gans, they respected his ability to fill the seats. He knew how to make people feel lucky enough to gamble. That’s what makes you a star in Vegas.

    YOU’RE A WHAT?

    Anyone else wondering why NBC is allowed to call their upcoming reality show I’m A Celebrity….Get Me Out of Here. They stick Heidi Montage, Spencer Pratt, John Salley, Janice Dickinson, Sanjaya and a Baldwin not named Alec on an island to see which can survive. Why? These people are barely stars on their grandmother’s refrigerator doors. They’re merely famous for milking their barely worthy fame. If NBC wants people to tune in, they need to change the name to Cannibal Island. The vision of Heidi and Spencer being turned into human stew makes me set the VCR at SP speed in my mind. Joel McHale agrees with this concept. Don’t network executives realize that we like the threat of cannibals? The ratings were high when we thought the Others on Lost were cannibals out to eat babies. Soon as the whole cannibal threat level dropped, the ratings hit rock bottom. The winner would be Janice Dickinson since any smart cannibal knows it’s not safe to eat silicon.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture Collection – Blu-ray contains the first six films featuring Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Bones, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and Uhura. Now you can see the final frontier in high def quality. Star Trek: The Motion Picture brought the TV series to the big screen nearly a decade after it was canceled. The group is reunited to intercept a strange object named V’Ger coming towards Earth. The big shocker is Lt. Ilia (Persis Khambatta) looking sexy with a bald head. It’s a so-so return. The Wrath of Khan is the film that really made this series matter. Ricardo Montalban (Fantasy Island) returns as Khan, the outlaw leader from “Space Seed.” He’s decided to get his revenge on Kirk. There’s great ass kicking action. Mr. Spock does the unspeakable at the end. This is ultimately the best of the Star Trek films. The Search For Spock continues the adventure from the last film. Kirk has to hijack the Enterprise to reunite Spock. Things get nasty when they run into Klingons. Will he get back with his Vulcan friend? The Voyage Home has Kirk and the crew going back in time to snag humpback whales and save future Earth. This one is more cute than exciting with Spock trying to not like a freak in 1980s San Francisco. The Final Frontier is the most painful of the bunch. Why? Because they let William Shatner direct it. Supposedly the Enterprise is going to the edge of space to meet God. I still have trauma from Nichelle Nichols’ erotic dance to distract the enemy. Seeing it in Blu-ray didn’t make it anymore appealing. The Undiscovered Country salvaged the movie series so it didn’t end up on a bad note. The Klingons are finally willing to play nice and join the Federation. However the signing ceremony hits a snag that sends Kirk and Bones to a prison planet. This is a proper send off to the original cast as full time crew members. The big bonus feature is a 70 minute chat with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes. Whoopi Goldberg hosts the roundtable discussion between the Enterprise top men over two shows. Wrath of Khan looks the best of the transfers on the HD set. No matter what the Onion says, not all the Star Trek movies were dull with people always talking and sitting around tables.

    Grease: Rockin’ Rydell Edition – Blu-Ray will be the reason wives buy Blu-ray players as a Father’s Day gifts. This was the musical sensation that notched up ’50s nostalgia during the era of Happy Days and American Graffiti. The high definition transfers is a galactic leap over the grainy pan and scan copy that gets shown on VH1. The 1080p picture exposes the detail of the John Travolta’s slicked back hairdo. The cinemascope image lets you bask in the swivel action of the dancers. The final dance moment when Olivia Newton-John appears stitched into that black outfit will make you thankful for the extra resolution power of Blu-ray. The bonus features include stuff from the previous edition. There’s even more including a commentary track with Director Randal Kleiser and Choreographer Patricia Birch. What will get the ladies going nuts is “Grease on DVD Launch Party.” This isn’t the usual schmooze fest. Olivia Newton-John and Travolta climb up on stage and sing the hits with the band. There will be squealing in the house. Ultimately this version of Grease answers my prayer for a chance to see Sha-Na-Na with maximum detail. Bowzer is finally lifelike on the screen.

    Saturday Night Fever: 30th Anniversary Special Collector’s Edition – Blu-ray truly captures the greatest movie of all time for the ultimate home video experience. People talk about getting lost in a film. Seeing Saturday Night Fever in Hi-Def lets my eyes step through the screen. The background details are stunning in the transfer making the paint store, the disco, the dance studio and Tony Manero’s bedroom real. They’re no longer fuzzy like on my battered VHS copy. You can slip into the image and the action after a few gin and tonics. Snobs discount SNF as merely a disco movie with the mirror ball and lighted dance floor. I say that this is an anti-disco film. While SNF did launch the greatest disco record of all time, the ending lets us know that this environment stifles creativity. John Travolta learns that while he thinks he’s a great dancer, he’s merely a slave to the 4/4 beat. Is he willing to flee his safety zones of the 2001 Odyssey disco and Brooklyn to let his talent flourish in Manhattan? The bonus features include a nearly hour long documentary about making the film. John Travolta didn’t have time to chat on camera, but Troma icon Lloyd Kaufman makes up for his absence. In “Back to Bayridge,” Joseph Cali (Joey) gives us a walk around the neighborhood to show us what’s changed and stayed the same in Brooklyn. There’s sad news about the disco. There’s also three deleted scenes which didn’t need to be in the film. Saturday Night Fever dazzles on Blu-ray.

    Dexter The Complete Second Season – Blu-ray takes the Showtime series continues to make the audience root for a serial killer roaming the streets of Miami. Dexter isn’t just an ordinary killer since he’s employed by the police as their blood splatter expert. He picks his victims from the truly guilty. After the trauma of the Ice Truck, he’s lost his blood lust. Is he going to go straight? However his life gets complicated when his underwater garden is uncovered. The FBI sends down their top serial killer investigator played by Keith Carradine. Before he can uncover Dexter, Keith sniffs a trail to Dexter’s sister (Jennifer Carpenter). The tension between Dexter and Sgt. Doakes (Erik King) hits a new high. These is more fascinating than the first season. The high definition image gives us a good sense of the sweat and blood in this Southern crime thriller. Top indie directors such as Keith Gordon, Nick Gomez and Tony Goldwyn keep the splatter at a premium. Most of the bonus features are available via Blu-ray Live. Michael C. Hall makes us embrace what should be the most unlikable of characters. Dexter is the best series on cable since The Wire.

    DVD SHELF

    Jake and the Fatman: Season Two brings a taste of pineapple to the crime series. After the first season in Los Angeles, the producers relocated the gruff DA (William Conrad) and his chief investigator (Joe Penny) to Honolulu. The pilot movie has a murder being arrange by Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh) of Hawaii Five-O fame. Jake’s friend is shot down. It’s up to him and the Fatman to expose the killer. During the investigation, the Fatman becomes the D.A. in Honolulu. Is it really that easy to snag that job? Michael Madsen plays a counterfeiter in “Snowfall.” Who knew he was once a picture of youth. “Poor Butterfly” has the top hookers of Hawaii in 1989. There’s a lot of bad fashion in this episode with big hair and bad lace. The mean pimp wears a gray Cosby sweater. How can a man intimidate a prostitute with a Cosby sweater? I can’t help laughing at Joe Penny’s acid washed jeans. Did he really think he was cool in that wardrobe? William Conrad looks extra gruff on the island. It’s a miracle the natives don’t sacrifice virgins to his round God gut. There’s only 10 episodes this strike shortened season. The action isn’t too rough and won’t startle you grandmother.

    Penn & Teller B.S.!: The Complete Sixth Season is another Showtime series worth the price of the channel. The comic magicians Penn & Teller don’t mind digging for the truth and exposing the nutjobs on another 10 episodes. “The War on Porn” reminds us that there is no real correlation between adult entertainment and sex crimes. The folks fighting adult films are shown as making up connections. My fellow Raleighite Brandi Love gets to show off her website talents as she reminds us that good porn is a nice release. Plus you can be educated on new positions. “Dolphins” is disturbing as freaks swear these water mammals are able to deliver your baby. Another couple make money teaching people to channel their inner-dolphin. Penn reminds us that dolphins are known for killing porpoises for no reason other than hate. “Sensitivity Training” should be required viewing for that office jerk who declares all the employees need sensitivity training. Penn shows that it’s a scam run by snakeoil salesmen. Penn & Teller: B.S.: The Complete Sixth Season should be viewed by anyone addicted to the Daily Show.

    A Baby Story: First Time Parents Edition is perfect viewing if you’re a month away from your first born. You can read all the expecting parent books, but seeing moms pump out the baby while the dad looks completely confused is more educational. Each episode follows a couple in the final weeks of pregnancy. As someone going through this process, it’s easy to relate to their experiences. You see a few women hit the raging hormone stage. You learn quickly to do whatever it takes to calm them down. It will pass if they don’t hit you with a frying pan. There’s a raw nature to the production. They don’t make the babies pop out like cast members of The Hills. We learn that no matter how much planning and prep, the baby will do it their way. Unless you have a C-section. If you’re thinking about getting knocked up this summer, this is necessary viewing for seeing what’s going to happen. There will be pain.

    Russell Brand In New York City: Extended and Uncensored still leaves me wondering about the hot new comic from England. He comes off as a wicked kind of guy with his spindly body and huge blown out hair. He dares to talk dirty about his famous pals. But can we trust him to remain funny? For this hour long special, he tears into the truth of his semi-disastrous hosting of the MTV VMAs. He was more excited to see an elephant than Britney Spears. He recounts the Jonas Brothers debacle. His monologue from the MTV event is included. The only thing I fear is that he’s the English Dane Cook with his body moves. The DVD doesn’t bleep out the stuff that was too much for the censors at Comedy Central. You also get a couple bonus routines about drunk girls and being English in New York City.

    Jon & Kate Plus Eight: Season 4, The Wedding has come out at a strange time for this large family. There’s a point where the reality of reality stars forces you to review their show for evidence of headlines to come. In this case it’s the recent tabloid covers about how Jon Goselin was caught leaving a bar with a young lady. None of that is covered here. Although if you’re a fan of The Soup, you’ll realize why Jon might be caught at 2 a.m. with a strange woman. “Boys Day Out” has Jon taking his three sons to the golf course. Kate and the girls make something called monkey mulch. This doesn’t contain any actual monkey parts. “Sextuplets’ 4th Birthday” has the six kids get to decorate their own cupcakes. Mom doesn’t want them to eat them until after dinner. What are the odds of that happening? The big highlight of the show is a trip to Hawaii with the couple renewing their vows in front of the 8 kids. In light of the recent headlines, you’ll be working the slo-motion button the DVD remote to see if Jon is looking to bolt.

    Sister Sister: The Second Season continues the fun of recently reunited twins who force their adoptive parents to become a couple. It’s fun to see Tim Reid (WKRP in Cincinnati) forced to be nice with Jackee (227). “Hair Today” deals with the sad truth about what happens when one twin gets the makeover while the sister is her normal self. “Get a Job” forces the twins to work at a hamburger joint and Tim’s limo company. The each twin tries to juggle two shifts. This plot will soon be recycled on a Disney tween show. “Free Billy” has the girls trying to liberate a showbiz pig. I’d liberate that pig into my breakfast. The final episode has Tim finally asking Jackee to marry him so they can be a real family and not merely roommates.

  • Party Favors: Marc Caro Interview

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    caro-01PARIS – During the early ’90s, Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet were the toast of French cinema with Delicatessen and City of Lost Children. They created a bizarre universe that was a step up in visual weirdness from Tim Burton and Terry Gilliam. However the pair’s creative partnership split when Hollywood came calling with a shot at Alien Resurrection. Jeunet became sole director on the Winona Ryder meets the monster film. People wondered what happened to Caro while Jeunet released Amelie and A Very Long Engagement.

    Marc Caro is back with Dante 01, a claustrophobic rush of science fiction cinema on the edge of the universe. Lambert Wilson (The Matrix Reloaded‘s Merovingian) arrives in suspended animation on a distant space center. He’s a prisoner who will be a guinea pig for a treatment involving nano-technology. His fellow patients include Dominique Pinon (City of Lost Children). The new medicine is extreme and highly unethical. But who is to argue so far away from a government watchdog group? In space there is no whistleblower hotline. The film is intense with its tight sets, quick edits and unnerving audio effects. Everyone in the film has a shaved head and looks like they’re about to explode. This is not peaceful Sunday afternoon viewing. Instead of a space station, these people should be floating around in a can of Red Bull. The end of the film is 2001 in overdrive.

    The location and story does make Dante 01 comparable to Alien Resurrection. However nothing in the Sigourney Weaver was this agitating. Dante 01 reveals that Caro understands how to apply pressure in zero gravity. The movie is being released on DVD by the Weinstein Company’s Dimension Extreme label. The Party Favors was able to interview Caro. Instead of the usual phone interview that would have involved a few UN translators, we sent Caro a list of questions and he emailed them back. Here’s the exchange.

    PARTY FAVORS: When you write a script, is it text or a mix of text and storyboards like an animator would use?

    MARC CARO: At the beginning it’s a text and the script was written by the co-author Pierre Bordage, a famous French sci-fi novelist…. Then the storyboard was drawn.

    PARTY FAVORS: What ignited you to create Dante 01?

    CARO: Finding money for “SciFi genre film” is very difficult in France.. so we try to find a story we are interested in with a limited number of characters and a unique set.

    PARTY FAVORS: Did your production designer background assist you in creating the space station so that it worked within your budget constraints without losing visual impact?

    CARO: It’s help a little… for example for budget constraints I have to change the space station design from “Ouroboro’s style” very round to the final squared version less expensive… without losing visual impact… I hope ???

    PARTY FAVORS: At what point did you ask Dominique Pinon to be in the
    film?

    CARO: From the start, when the fuzzy idea of the film appear in my weird sick mind… the character of Dominique Pinon was soon there…

    PARTY FAVORS: How is your working relationship with Dominique Pinon?

    CARO: We don’t need words to communicate together… It’s just an ancestral
    telepathic complicity…

    PARTY FAVORS: How did you maintain the claustrophobic feel between takes? The actors really did look stuck in the space.

    CARO: We didn’t feed the actors during the shoot and I would tell really bad jokes!

    PARTY FAVORS: Viewers in America are used to Lambert Wilson being the cool headed character in The Matrix movies. Did you have to do much coaxing to get him be so raw on screen?

    CARO: It was a great pleasure to collaborate with Lambert Wilson… I have his trust and he came with enthusiasm in the film universe…

    PARTY FAVORS: Did you ever have moments when you needed to leave the soundstage to bask in the sun?

    CARO: I am not a huge fan of the sun because my skin is so delicate…

    PARTY FAVORS: How hard was it to get actors to shave their heads for the
    roles?

    CARO: No problem at all for men and not so difficult for the two actress. Everybody understood the purpose.

    PARTY FAVORS: Do you think it is harder for actors to work with shaved heads since they don’t have a fictional haircut to hide behind and create a character?

    CARO: No , I think the shaved head helped to create the character… it is a change, lots of actors have never done it before… each actor feels himself different so, may be, it’s easier to be involved in a different world ???

    PARTY FAVORS: Did any of the crew members shave their heads to make the
    cast feel normal? Did you?

    CARO: Unfortunately not but the crew had to wear helmets and I was born without hair.

    PARTY FAVORS: What do you think of people who prefer to watch foreign films with dub tracks instead of reading subtitles?

    CARO: Every taste was in the Narure.

    PARTY FAVORS: How influential is Chris Marker’s La Jetee on French Science fiction?

    CARO: I am a huge fan of Chris Marker… but except for me I don’t know the impact of La Jetée on the French Sci-Fi….

    BEAM ME UP IN BLU-RAY

    Before we get a new version of the crew origins of the U.S.S. Enterprise, take a fresh look at Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 1 Blu-Ray. The boxset contains the first 29 episodes featuring Kirk, Spock and McCoy when they were middle aged. This isn’t the original time the first season was released for 1080p. However that boxset was the HDDVD-DVD flipper set which featured the new High-Def remastered version of the show. As part of upgrading the original series to HD, they replaced the model shots of the Enterprise with CGI to take advantage of the new resolution. Purists were upset and swore they stick with their old DVDs even if the transfers were scratchy and blemished. The good news is Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 1 Blu-ray contains both the HD enhanced and the original special versions. You don’t have to chose.

    The first season kicks off the show with “The Man Trap.” McCoy discovers that his old girlfriend isn’t seen the same way by the rest of his buddies. A monster is sucking the salt out of people. The things that happen during a tequila bender. “Charlie X” has an intergalactic brat destroying the crew when he can’t get his way. “Mudd’s Women” introduces us to the first interstellar pimp in Harry Mudd (Roger C. Carmel). He’s got three ladies that are due at a mining colony. What happens when the pimp meets the Galaxy’s biggest stud in Kirk? Pure magic.

    “The Menagerie” is the two-parter where Spock kidnaps his old captain. He wants the invalid leader to return to an uncharted planet. The show is amazing in that they were able to use the original pilot for the series without having to explain why Kirk wasn’t in the captain’s seat. Do wonder how they’ll explain Captain Pike in the new Star Trek movie.

    Unexpected love is a theme in this season. “This Side of Paradise” has Spock want to get nasty with Jill Ireland. Although this rush of emotion comes from his taking a hit of a flowery Spanish fly. “The City on the Edge of Forever” has Kirk and McCoy falling for a relatively young Joan Collins (Dynasty). This is always picked as a classic of science fiction.

    The bonus features are taken from the last two season set releases. For this boxset we get pieces on William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. They’re nice, but it’s a low level crewman who really puts the experience of the show into perspective. “Billy Blackburn’s Treasure Chest” gives plenty of memories from a supporting actor who filled in wherever was necessary on the ship. He was a navigator, DeForest Kelly’s stand in and monsters in rubber suits. He breaks out his home movies that he shot around the set. Amazing how many different roles he played on the show.

    Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 1 Blu-ray is what fans have been waiting for since they introduced home video back with the Betamax. The image quality brings out the details of the sets and costumes without exposing the strings. Spock’s pointy ears and Kirk’s hair still look “natural.” The 1080p heightens my appreciation for the series by enhancing the elements that made it special. Even the enhanced effects aren’t overdone in a George Lucas mode. This is the Blu-ray treat of the month.

    ALI ROUND 2

    Don’t throw in the towel before watching HBO’s Thrilla In Manila. This is the evil side of Muhammad Ali. The boxing legend was lionized in When We Were Kings with his Rumble in the Jungle defeat of George Foreman. The Champ has become a fixture as a great American and a humanitarian. What gets exposed in this documentary is how Ali can be a cruel man. Joe Frazier was the champ at the time that Ali was banned from the sport for his refusal to be drafted during the Vietnam War. Frazier pleaded with President Nixon to let Ali back into the ring. He funneled money to Ali during these tough times. And how did Ali pack Frazier back for all his help when he got his gloves back? By calling the guy ugly, stupid and Uncle Tom. It’s rather disgusting to see Ali’s rants about Frazier in the film. He painted Smokin’ Joe to be a suck up to the white man. When they finally fight in Manila, you will fully understand why even the risk of death made Frazier want to go out for the 15th round (even if calmer hands threw in the towel to protect the blinded fighter). What’s upsetting is how certain fight folks think that Frazier was stupid for not backing off and risking it all. But watching the footage, it’s easy to see that Frazier in kill or be kill mode. He wanted to pay back the pain and teach Ali a lesson.

    At the end of the fight, we learn that Ali sent messages to Frazier that he didn’t mean all his defamation. The Uncle Tom talk was merely to sell tickets. But Ali was never man enough to say it directly to Frazier. If this film wins the Emmy, you won’t see Ali and Frazier clowning at the podium like Ali did with Foreman. Frazier will take one last swipe at The Greatest.

    Thrilla in Manila is right now on HBO’s OnDemand. Watch it instead of a marathon of America’s Next Top Model on Oxygen.

    THE COMEBACK KID CONTINUES

    The folks at Party Favors are excited with the news that Jackie Earle Haley is going to be the new Freddy Krueger in the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Bring on the bladed gloves for Kelly Leak. Normally we’re not happy at Hollywood studios being less creative, but they’ve cast this one right. Haley as Rorshach was the reason why Watchmen was watchable. His fight scene in the prison lunch line should get him a role when they make Oz: The Movie. We’re still waiting for him to do the film where he’s the owner of a stripclub investigating what happened to his top dancer. Oddly enough we caught Robert Englund (the original Freddy) as a gentleman’s club owner in Zombie Strippers!”

  • Party Favors: Wallace Shawn Interview

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    RICHMOND – Pass up a chance to talk with Wallace Shawn? Inconceivable!!!

    Shawn has appeared in more than 125 movies and TV shows over the last 30 years. He was the face of Indie cinema in the early ’80s with My Dinner with Andre. Teenage girls knows him from The Princess Bride. Children recognize him from various Pixar films. Even geeks have experienced him from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He’s everywhere. Ultimately Shawn is a playwright who acts. Our phone call was in celebration of the release of Marie and Bruce on DVD from Genius Products/The Weinstein Company. He wrote the original play.

    Marie and Bruce are a married couple that are hitting a nasty rough spot. Julianne Moore and Matthew Broderick are well cast as the pair that are having major communication issues. Most of this crisis comes from their ability to avoid talk to each other yet they say so much. She’s ready for a divorce. He hasn’t a clue. I ponder if these Manhattanites were guinea pigs for MDMA (ecstasy) tests. The scene of Julianne Moore on the sofa at a party looks like she’s rolling hard.

    “Of course they’re drinking a lot. Some people have interpreted it as being about drinkers,” Shawn said. “You may be the first to interpret it about people taking a lot of drugs. I don’t really like to tell people how to interpret what I write. In my head if you want to know, that doesn’t matter. I don’t think writers are the biggest experts of what they write.

    “If I were even going to venture a comment…people live a great deal inside their own head where fantasy and reality crash into each other. These two are very involved in fantasy. The party is seen through Marie’s eyes. She’s not seeing it the way you would see it. She’s seeing it through her emotional state. In her mind this is a very important day. The party is the very last moment before she’s making this important announcement to Bruce that she’s going to be leaving him. I think she lives in her imagination anyway. Somebody could speculate that neither of these two have found an appropriate outlet for their talents and their intelligence. It’s filtering into their fantasy life too active.”

    Had Moore and Broderick performed the play before the filming?

    “No,” Shawn said. “But Julianne had read it when she was 18.”

    She seems so natural as Marie. Has she become a reverse muse for the role?

    “I feel we haven an unspoken shared taste in many ways,” Shawn said. “An unspoken shared feeling about many things. There is some kind of natural compatibility.”

    It is hard to imagine any other actress being able to own these lines. Her attitude accents the frustrated and spacey observations.

    “It takes unbelievable technique and inspiration to make this unnatural dialogue seem natural. Particularly in the film it must. Film is in general a very realistic medium. Here you have a film in which the chairs and tables are realistic so the dialogue, even though it is not at all realistic, has to somehow seem realistic and believable. That is the wonderful skill that both Julianne and Matthew bring to it. (Some people) can’t cope with the dialogue and they say, ‘This is not like life.’ Actually, the dialogue in most movies is not anything like life. There are certain movie cliches about life that most movies imitate. This one is some other category.”

    Shawn is only listed for writing the play and co-writing the screenplay with director Tom Cairns. But he didn’t merely type the words and let everyone else make the movie.

    “I was extremely involved in the production. I missed some days of filming, but I was a there for a lot of them. I was totally involved in getting it together before filming. I picked Tom (Cairns). Tom and I have collaborated on many things and have had a wonderful working relationship..”

    He could have easily had his name pop up in various parts of the credits. He didn’t even want to give himself a minor role. “I did make a deliberate decision,” Shawn said. “I wanted to be treated as the writer on this project. It would be an in-joke if I’d appeared in the party playing one of the characters. For those who know that I was the writer, it becomes a distraction. For that moment your focus will be in the wrong place.”

    Two famous faces that do pop up in the film are Bob Balaban (Seinfeld) and Griffin Dunne (After Hours). Both actors have a history with the work. “They were both in the original production of the play,” Shawn said. “Griffin was the character at the party and Bob Balaban played Bruce.” Now the table has turned for Bob since he plays Roger, Bruce’s friend who knows way too much about public sewage projects. Turns nobody played Roger in the original production.

    “That scene didn’t exist in the play. In the play, he says he’s going to meet Roger. She says, “The world’s most fascinating person.” But we never see Roger.”

    Was it interesting to revisit the play to create these inbetween scenes? “It was fun. In the play these are long monologues about their respective day between breakfast and dinner. They are alone and both involved in their imagination. It was fun to film those days.”

    What makes Marie and Bruce entertaining is that they aren’t a completely dysfunctional couple that arrives on Jerry Springer’s stage. There’s hope.

    “There’s potential there that hasn’t been unlocked between them,” Shawn analyzed. “Not sure that if I was a marriage counselor that I’d say, ‘You should get divorced as quickly as possible.’ Freud said people need love and work. These are two people who have not found meaningful work that is important to them. I think that could be very important in them discussing their problems.”

    At this point, our conversation turns to his work. Shawn is an extremely busy man. This TV season he’s appeared on Life on Mars, ER, L Word and Gossip Girl. I have to ask about his time on L Word as the wealthy backer of Jenny Schecter’s movie. What is it like to be the focus of Mia Kirshner’s goddess-like eyes?

    “She’s an extraordinary person,” Shawn praised. “The French refer to someone’s gaze as ‘regard.’ Hers is very unblinking. Strangely unblinking.”

    He sounded kinda disappointed that he was not suspected of killing Jenny. Or that his on-screen relationship with the character was chaste. “There was a clear indication in the scripts that he was in love with her. He hoped for a deeper attachment.”

    I bring up the topic of what it’s like to be an in demand character actor in Hollywood. Shawn puts me straight.

    “In life we’re all leading men and women,” Shawn declared. “We don’t see ourselves as character actors in life. I don’t think too many actors see themselves as character actors. That’s more something that other people would put on you because they have certain cliched ideas about life. Certainly it’s a phrase that I don’t know anybody has applied to himself. God knows I’ve never said I’m a character actor.

    “A character actor is not the main actor. The phrase implies a certain view of life in which there are tall, thin people who are the real people. They are surrounded by a rogues gallery of bizarre people: fat, short, bald. Those people make life interesting for the real people. I don’t see life that way. I don’t see myself that way. In the real world, I don’t occupy a position of being just an amusing sidekick to a guy that lives on the floor below me who happens to be tall. When we meet in the hall, we meet as equals.”

    At that moment, I’m stuck with the strange feeling that we’re having this phone conversation as part of a rehearsal for Synecdoche, New York. The image of Shawn meeting the tall man immediately brings up his role of Vizzini in The Princess Bride. What was it like to work with Andre The Giant, the late wrestling legend?

    “He was fascinating,” Shawn praised. “I found it quite wonderful to meet him and know him. He was a very talented man who had figured out a way to live the life that he wanted to live despite having an absolutely incredible disability.

    “It’s totally remarkable that somebody could walk onto a set and be able to act. That’s very, very rare. I think he’d only been in one movie before that and he had no lines. He was remarkable. He did have incredible ability of hitting his mark. You’re supposed to not just talk but go to right place at the right time. You have little marks on the floor to show where you’re supposed to go. Because the marks are on the floor, you’re not supposed be looking at them. They’re quite hard to follow. I find it quite hard to say dialogue and move and go to the right place at the same time. Particularly to remember that you’re supposed to go over here and then somewhere else and somewhere else. It’s very difficult. He did that effortlessly. He’d do it right on the first take. The rest of us would take several tries to hit it right.”

    Currently Shawn’s in rehearsals for a play with Miranda Richardson and Jennifer Tilly that’s taking place in London this May. Directing him will be his longtime pal Andre Gregory. The duo took the cinema by storm with My Dinner with Andre. The movie was about them having dinner. There was no explosions or gunplay. Just conversation between two people. It became an art house sensation.

    Shawn has never been approached to host a series of interviews over dinner like IFC’s Dinner for Five. He’s had people begging him to recreate the role, but for the wrong reasons. “I’ve steered clear of a few parodies,” he said.

    The good news about the movie is that it is finally coming back to DVD (and hopefully Blu-ray) with a high quality image transfer. “Criterion is bringing it out in the next few months. The results are great.” Shawn and Gregory have been interviewed for the bonus features.

    What is the secret of Shawn and Gregory remaining pals and creative partners?

    “We’ve been working together since 1970,” Shawn said. “We really do have a congruence of tastes. It’s rare to meet someone who is in your field who understands you and you understand them. You’re motivated to stick with that person and make that relationship work. You’re not going to run into anyone like that for the rest of your life. We don’t do exactly the same thing. I write and act. He directors. He can bring things out of me as an actor that are pretty surprising.”

    We talk about a few of the major directors he’s worked with over the years. Perhaps the second most important director in his career is Woody Allen. He’s appeared in half a dozen of Woody’s film. Does he view himself as the nemesis of Woody’s screen proxies? “I was a little bit that it in Manhattan, the first one I did,” Shawn declared. “Otherwise I think I’ve been one of the troupe.” He was hyped as a sexual monster by Diane Keaton’s character in Manhattan. Did this role have the ladies rushing up to him to experience his carnal secrets? He laughed. “Most people took it as a movie.”

    His work as the voice of Rex the Green Dinosaur in the Toy Story movies does get the kids running towards him.

    “I do meet a lot of kids at airports. There are kids who recognize my voice. They hear my voice and go, ‘That guy is dinosaur.’”

    He has recorded his dinosaur lines for the upcoming Toy Story 3. He was relived that during the time when Pixar was going to split with Disney that the mouse didn’t follow through with its threat to make Toy Story 3 without John Lasseter and his crew’s involvement. “That would have been absolutely horrible,” Shawn said.

    One of Shawn’s earliest role is a brief part in Bob Fosse’s dazzling All That Jazz. What memories does Shawn have of working with the legendary director?

    “That was way back there,” Shawn said. “I was only there for like a day. I’m almost incapable of answering that one. It all went by in a couple of hours. It was strange because he was painting a very disturbing portrait of himself. I found it disturbing.”

    As a playwright, would he ever create an autobiographical work that intense?

    “I’m guided by a muse. I don’t choose a subject,” Shawn said. “I don’t have outlines or notecards. It’s more like a sentence comes to me and maybe a few months later I figure out who said it and why. I don’t pick the subjects. I don’t even know who’s talking. Eventually it’s something. After if it becomes something, I can sort of help it become the essence of what it is.”

    My next question was blunt: You were in Southland Tales. What was that about?

    “It was probably a lot of things at the same time,” Shawn said. “One of them that you can’t possibly question is that it’s not supposed to be America today. But it provides some amazing portraits of America today. If somebody asks what was it like in those boom years, the crazy years under George W. Bush, you can probably say look at that party on the blimp in Southland Tales. That was what it was like. The scene on the boardwalk is kinda like what was it like back in the day when people were wandering around on the boardwalk.

    “If you get into questioning it, you might never find the answers. If you take it for what it is, your minutes were well spent watching it. You have to give yourself to the film. To answer the questions either will never happen or it would take 20 viewings to answer. You don’t have to. If you don’t like it, you can leave after half an hour. But it’s worth a third time to watch it.”

    Shawn enjoyed playing a rather glamorous man on the silver screen. “I loved my own character. I’ve never been in a film where I enjoyed my own look more than that. It was amazing,” he said.

    E! and Entertainment Tonight always focus on the work out of the stars. How does Wallace Shawn keep in shape? What is his exercise routine?

    “I live in a fifth floor walk up so that’s my beauty secret,” Shawn disclosed. “In order to go home, I have to perform an athletic feat.”

    DAMN TWITTER

    I hate Twitter. I won’t use Twitter.. Nothing makes Twitter more uncool is seeing senators ignoring a presidential speech with their bodies hunched over so they can Twitter on their iPhones. Good thing most of the senators are now orphans. If my mom caught me Twittering instead of paying attention to the president, she’d beat me with a plank from my campaign platform. There should be a fourth grade teacher going around the Capitol building and taking those iPhones away. How are we supposed to tell children they need to pay attention at major events when the millionaire politicians look like a pack of teenage girls. Sen. John McCain might as well pound the podium demanding the Jonas Brothers perform at his kids’ birthday parties.

    Dear Meghan McCain. I read your blog about how hard it is to find a great guy to date. Sorry to break the news, but I’m married. That means you’ll be settling for second best no matter what. So just go on Craigslist and email Mr. He’ll Do. Of course you can always wait for my upcoming Reality Show: “Mr. Big Love” where numerous women compete to be my really rich mistress.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Pinocchio: 70th Anniversary Edition Blu-ray is a major upgrade from the Golden Collection DVD. Walt Disney’s version of the fairytale about an old man who makes a wooden boy puppet that comes to life. The big problem is that the boy is still made out wood so he’s a bit of a freak. His only hope is to be good enough that the fairy will turn him into a flesh and blood boy. The Blu-ray picture is gorgeous. There’s an impulse to step through the screen to shoot pool at Pleasure Island. This is the standard of how to do an HD transfer of classic animation. The bonus features include “No Strings Attached.” The hour long documentary gets into the details of how Walt put together the film and its legacy. The deleted scenes are storyboards. They even dig up the live action reference footage used by the animators. We finally get to hear the “Honest John” song that was clipped early in production. They include a DVD of the new transfer for people who aren’t sure when they’re going to buy a Blu-ray, but want Pinocchio in the collection so they won’t have to wait for it to be re-released in a decade. Your nose will grow from the excitement of watching this in 1080p.

    South Park: The Complete Twelfth Season Blu-ray keeps the caustic comedy coming from America’s favorite elementary schoolers. This is the season that brought back memories of Heavy Metal with “Major Boobage.” Kenny can slip into the fantasy world if he lets a cat fart in his face. Just when I thought smoking banana peels was the hot rage with little kids. “Britney’s New Look” really gets to the heart of TMZ’s round the clock coverage of the meltdown queen. We can laugh at this now that the press has declared that Britney is back. “About Last Night……” joins Obama and McCain in an Ocean’s 11 heist. It’s cute, but not cutting. The big bonus feature is “Six Days to South Park.” We get to follow the production details of an episode. They also show how they worked to give “Boobage” the Heavy Metal look. What’s really amazing is how this semi-primitive animation looks so stunning in Hi-Def. This must be how it looks on Matt & Trey’s megacomputer after its been rendered. The discs include a digital copy that’s only compatible with Windows media. Why no love for us Mac users?

    Let The Right One In – Blu-ray is Twilight for grown ups. This Swedish import gives us a real teen romance involving a blood sucker that hasn’t been sanitized for clean living undead creatures. Oskar is a kid who gets extremely bullied at school. He’s a human punching bag. But things get better when he meets Eli. She’s a creepy yet cool girl. Oskar doesn’t quite understand the nature of his new friend. We’re given the horrible fear that she’s going to turn on him. Let’s face the simple fact, a girl has to get a drink from somebody. The blood effects are not for the weak of heart. For anyone who is sick of the Twilight hype, Let the Right One In is the real deal when it comes to fanged entertainment. It’ll spook you. The Blu-ray really sucks you into the chilly environment. You’ll want to break out your Snuggie.

    Primal Fear: Hard Evidence Edition – Blu-ray brings back the moment when Ed Norton declared he was an actor you better damn well notice. He elevates what could have been another terminal Richard Gere film. Some people might want to give credit to the director, but what’s Gregory Hoblit done since this movie that you’ll admit to have paid to see? Norton is an altar boy accused of killing a Catholic Archbishop. His only hope is Richard Gere being his lawyer. The courtroom drama allows Norton to just take his character to the hilt. Is he guilty or being set up? He’s not going to let that define his performance. The Blu-ray really lets you get into Norton’s facial detail during telling scenes. The three bonus features discuss the complexity of spinning a courtroom tale with an intricate web of lies.

    The Kite Runner – Blu-ray reminds us that are a lot of messed up people in Afghanistan. The first half of the film deals with the friendship between a poor child and a child of privilege. The rich kid’s family escapes the country when the Taliban take control. But his guilt drags him back to save his friend. The images are beautiful yet terrorizing. Watching this is 1080p makes you almost want to visit except when you discover the horrifying truth, you’ll never book passage. This is not a tourism board approved visit to greater Kabul. The big bonus feature is a commentary track with director Marc Forster (Quantum of Solace) and novelist Khaled Hosseini.

    A Mighty Heart Blu-ray tells the true story of when Wall Street Journalist Daniel Pear was kidnapped while working on a story in Pakistan. His pregnant wife (played by Angelina Jolie) is in a frantic race against time to free him before the worst can happen. Will he be rescued in time to see his baby’s birth? I won’t give away the ending in case you’ve somehow avoided read a newspaper over the last decade. Director Michael Winterbottom and his crew keep the action gritty. This comes out in the 1080p transfer. You feel the dust kicking up as feet race around. The big bonus feature is a 30 minute behind the scenes documentary. Everyone sticks to the serious nature of the film. There’s even a public service announcement about protecting journalists. Seeking the truth in a warzone is a very dangerous proposal.

    Things We Lost in the Fire – Blu-ray is a small film that deserves bigger attention. Halle Berry’s life has been destroyed by an act of violence. Benicio Del Toro (Che) arrives to help her out. However he’s not the most stable of guys. He’s got demons to battle every day. It’s an emotionally raw film with these two Oscar winners pushing each other to the edge. This was Berry’s proof that Monsters Ball wasn’t a fluke. She’s got skills. “A Discussion” gets down to the characters in this behind the scenes view. Seeing it in Blu-ray lets you appreciate the human qualities of these characters.

    DVD SHELF

    Andy Richter Controls the Universe: The Complete Series brings together all 19 episodes that were stretched over two seasons including 5 that never aired on Fox. Richter is a writer at a major corporation with an over active imagination. He dreams of wearing a suit of puppies into the office. “Little Andy in Charge” has him finally hook up with a hot woman. The trouble happens when he discovers she’s an anti-Semite. In order to feel good about the sex, he volunteers at a local Jewish center. Can this compromise between his big brain and his package work? Or will it explode in a bad way? The show deserved a longer run, but such is the curse of being non-animated comedy on Fox.

    The Fugitive: Season Two, Volume Two keeps the manhunt of Dr. Richard Kimble (David Janssen) going for another 15 episodes.. For those wondering, they’ve kept a majority of the original score. Only a few musical moments have been replaced. “Brass Ring” has Robert Duvall as wheelchair bound guy who runs a merry-go-round with his sister (Angie Dickinson). Kimble helps them out and gets a heaping of Angie. However he’s being set up as a patsy for a nasty crime. “Nicest Fella You’d Ever Want to Meet” proves that Tom Skerritt (Alien) and Dabney Coleman were young. “Fun and Games and Party Favors” gets a thumbs up for the title. “Everybody Gets Hit in the Mouth Sometimes” makes Kimble drive a truck for Jack Klugman (The Odd Couple). This paranoid show is still great viewing.

    J.A.G.: The Eighth Season opens with an extreme change in a cast member when Bud gets his legs blown off in “Critical Condition.” This is a series that doesn’t mess around. I’ve seen shows swap actors or kill them or have them go off to London for acting school. But to go Lt. Dan on a character? That’s intense military action. The other major highlight of the season is “Ice Queen.” It introduces NCSI to the world. Mark Harmon (Summer School) and David McCullam (Man From U.N.C.L.E.) would become major TV stars once more in this military spin-off. They made 10 seasons of J.A.G. so only two more to go before Catherine Bell gets discharged.

    To Catch A Thief: Centennial Collection is Hitchcock bringing the cool to the French Riviera. Cary Grant is a retired jewel thief who finds his old tactics being used by a copycat. Or is he lying to us? He gets tangled up with Grace Kelly in a suave adventure. The second disc has dozens of extra features. “Unacceptable Under the Code” details how the film had to battle the MPAA censors to get away with fireworks. “A Night with the Hitchcocks” has Alfred’s daughter and granddaughter talk about their time with him. There’s a really shocking tale of what happened to the love birds from The Birds. We get a great sense of what went into this production that was mostly shot on location.

    The Odd Couple: Centennial Collection brings a fresh transfer to the movie that truly made Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon an iconic couple (Fortune Cookie didn’t break them that much). Matthau is Oscar, a messy sports reporter. Lemmon is his anal pal Felix. He’s been dumped by his wife and about to jump when he’s saved by Oscar. The two become roommates and the clutter clash goes into overdrive. The best part of the film is how it reminds us of the importance of Poker night. The bonus features deal with how the Broadway play was transformed into the hit film. Did you know the set from the film was used in the first season of The Odd Couple TV series? Matthau and Lemmon’s sons contribute the commentary track.

    Living With the Wolfman follows Shaun Ellis and Helen Jeffs hanging out with wolves. They do look like sweet doggies, but they can turn fierce fast. The show is graphic when showing how wolves tear apart a deer. You might not want kids who love Bambi to get a gander. The eight part series gives a great sense of what wolves are really like in the wild and semi-contained environments. He feeds them roadkill. Shaun is a rather intense looking guy who could easily end up at a UFC match. Do you think this guy ever saw Lucan as a kid?

    Raw Nature is a five part series that brings dangerous lives of animals. There’s no petting zoo footage here. This is about man decided to move into areas once dominated by predator creatures like sharks, rhinos, anacondas and lions. A pack of adventure filmmakers take us into these animal hotzones. It’s like Marlon Perkins to the extreme. No wimpy and cute critters will be exposed on this DVD.

    A Woman Called Golda was one of the last projects from Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca). She plays Golda Mier, a young girl from Milwaukee who rose up to help found Israel. Judy Davis (Barton Fink) plays the younger Golda. Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) plays Anwar Sadat. It’s a strange piece of casting only topped by Nigel Hawthrone (The Madness of King George) as King Abdullah.. Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock) is properly cast as Morris Meyerson. He really is Jewish. It’s got all the flourishes expected in a TV movie that maintains enough historical accuracy to keep everyone happy.

    Sidney Sheldon’s Master of the Game was from the golden mini-series age of the early ’80s. Dyan Cannon is a ruthless woman who won’t hold back. She’s mean as she runs her empire. She steals husbands. Destroys her own son (Harry Hamlin). She wants her granddaughter take over not only her company, but attitude. It’s like reading a trashy beach novel except without the fear of getting a suntan. Cannon would go on to be the most annoying fan at LA Lakers games.

    Elmo and Friends: Tales of Adventure gives us three slices of Sesame Street that will thrill small children. Elmo’s Amazing Alphabet Race has the little red wonder going against the clock to get from A to Z. Hopefully he won’t be looking for those lost letters. Golden Triangle of Destiny gives Texas Telly a leading role. He’s wearing his semi-Indiana Jones gear while keeping the education action coming.. He’s looking for certain shapes. The Adventures of Little Big Bird has the big yellow pal get shrunk down to a few inches high. Can he survive life on the street when he’s small enough to fall through society’s crack? This DVD is only available at Target.

    Jim Gaffigan: King Baby gives us the uncut special that recently ran on Comedy Central. He’s more than just a pitchman for Sierra Mist. My favorite part of the routine is when he talks to us about bacon. “Yeah bacon.” He knows the secret of bacon and how anything can be improved if wrapped in bacon. “Bacon bits are the fairy dust of food.” Mmmmm bacon. How can you not like a comic who loves bacon? More bacon comedy. The DVD also includes episodes of Pale Force and Our Massive Planet. Get to know Gaffigan, your new bacon buddy.

    Secrets of the Furious Five is a thirty minute special featuring the cast of Kung Fu Panda. We learn the secret origins of the other five fighters that backed the Panda in his feature film debut. The Panda has to teach a bunch of little kids and uses his pals’ origins as inspiration that all buttkickers start small. Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman return to their character voices.

    GIVEAWAY ON THE RUN

    CBS DVD is allowing 5 lucky readers to win a copy of The Fugitive: Season Two, Volume Two. All you have to do is answer this simple question: What faceless star of the Fugitive went on to his own Quinn-Martin series? Send your answer along with your name and address to mokaha@aol.com. The staff of Party Favors, Richard Diamond and Harrison Ford are not eligible to win.

    Genius Entertainment and Sesame Street want 5 other lucky readers to win a copy of Elmo and Friends: Tales of Adventure. All you have to do is tell me what Muppet was featured in my Creepy PA segment of the Party Favors. Send you answer along with your name and address to mokaha@aol.com. The staff of the Party Favors, Buddy & Jim and Mr. Hopper are not eligible to win. Both contests end March 24. Good luck.

  • Party Favors: Let Them Make Cake

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    BALTIMORE – Duff Goldman already has a plan for Kevin Smith’s birthday cake. The star of the Ace of Cakes dreams of delivering a frosted delight that will put all his baking skills to work. His design will blow away the masterpieces delivered to Roger Moore, Harry Potter and John Waters. What is it? First you’ll devour my chat with Duff before getting to the dessert.

    Here’s a shot of his Tequila cake in case you haven’t seen the show.

    His series has become a major hit for the Food Channel since it debuted three years ago. The half hour series takes us inside the Charm City Bakery. Unlike the channel’s other shows, he doesn’t teach us how to bake. Instead we marvel as his bohemian staff construct complicated birthday and wedding cakes. What’s the secret of his show still going strong while other reality shows hit fumes at this point?

    “When the cameras are not there, we’re the same way,” Duff says. “We still fuck around just as much. We go on vacation. We do synchronized walking. The cameras just catch us doing what we do. I think it’s our honesty. A lot of people try to fool the public. We’ve gotten of criticism over the years for having a lack of drama. The drama is in the cake. We all love each other. We’re family. If there is any staff tension, that’s off camera. The drama is in the fact that we have these crazy cakes to make and a deadline to meet. Things are falling apart and we always fix them. I love it when they show cakes fall apart. What keeps it interesting is that its very real. It’s like The Truman Show. It’s a real reality show.”

    Does this means that the upcoming episodes of Ace of Cakes won’t have Heidi and Spencer as his new bakers for season seven?

    “Oh God, no!” He protests. He’s already dealt with MTV. “My Super Sweet Sixteen called the bakery and asked if they could film an episode with us. I was like, ‘If you bring one of those kids in here, I’ll throw them out.’ They were like, ‘You can’t do that. You can’t tell them to leave. This is a show about the kids doing what they do’. And I was like, ‘Well that’s fine. I don’t want to do it.’ It’s propagating this culture of disgustingness.”

    We joke about how he could have lured the birthday brat into an oven like Hansel and Gretel. That would be great TV. He gets plenty of offers to pop up in other venues. He and the sly sous chef Geof Manthorne will appear in an upcoming episode of King of the Hill. But they don’t say yes to everything.

    “There’s been a couple of offers from other type of venues and we’ve just turned them down. ‘We don’t think you’re that cool.’” Duff knows the catty nature of the internet. “People let us know that we’re not very cool. We can take that type of criticism because we like what we do.

    “After season one I was really fucked up. I was reading those blogs and thinking, ‘Those people hate me.’” It went further than evil postings on the internet. “I had a death threat one time. This dude called the bakery. He said he was going to kill me. ‘Why’s that?’ He said, ‘You’re pretending to like your job. You and all your friends up there on your stupid little show. You got all this money. I’m going to kill you.’ This guy was really angry. I was trying to talk to him. I was like ‘I’m not loaded.’ The life that I lead is probably not what you think.”

    Luckily the guy calmed down. But there’s numerous website threads dedicated to trashing Duff’s reputation. But he’s learning not to take let the haters win.

    “We’ve never claimed that we’re the best cake decorators in the world,” Duff says. “I don’t think we are. We’re the most entertaining..” The show depends on Duff, Geof, Mary Alice, Katherine, Sherri and the rest of the staff having fun while working. This isn’t about intense perfectionists quietly tinkering away.

    It does bothers Duff when the internet Haters doubt his sincerity when doing nice things on the show. He recently made a cake for Army soldiers stationed in Hawaii.

    “Some people were really ripping us up by calling it a publicity stunt,” Duff says. “We got an email from a solider who had just returned from Iraq. He said he was deployed right when our show came out. Him and his family bonded over our show. His kids would write him saying there’s this crazy show on TV.. He didn’t know what show they were talking about. They’d write him every week and tell him what we were up to. When he got back, he watched all the shows. He was like, ‘These guys are really hilarious.’ He sent an email to the bakery saying, ‘If you’re ever in Hawaii, look us up. We’ll take out for shrimp.’

    “Lost called. They wanted a cake.” They decided to meet their fans while in the land of Jack Lord. “If we’re going to be in Hawaii; instead of going out for shrimp, why don’t we make a cake for this guy and his family? He ran it up to his superiors and they asked if we can make a cake for the whole base.”

    Maybe the insincerity of shows with Gene Simmons, Hulk Hogan and Tila Tequila have robbed us of thinking people on TV are capable of being nice without it being a media whore moment.

    “Remember when Jay and Silent Bob were checking on the internet? I feel that way sometimes,” Duff says. “I really want to lash out. But at the same time, it’s fine. There’s so many that touch us in a positive way.”

    Over the years the image of Baltimore has been shaped by the debauchery of John Waters and the seediness of The Wire. Has Ace of Cakes become beloved by the mayor’s office with young kids, gainfully employed and loving their life in the city?
    ?”Yes. Very much,” Duff said. “We’ve been fighting The Wire stigma. It’s such a good show, but why does it have to be about my town? Everything they showed was totally true from the government corruption to life on the street.” However Duff points out that not every neighborhood is controlled by Marlo’s soldiers. “Fells Point is great. Federal Hill is great.” He recommends visiting Little Italy for the bocce tournament.

    Duff could have found himself as an extra on The Wire when he nearly bought a store next to methadone clinic. Luckily he found the location featured on his show. For those curious about the Charm City building; it was constructed in 1889 as a Lutheran Church. The main working space shown on TV is 5,000 sq. ft. They keep the thermostat around 66 degrees. There are two separate basements. One is used for the interviews and a workshop for non-food construction and painting. The other has the washing machines, TV crew’s bathroom and a recording studio for Duff’s band, soihadto. There’s a second floor space that was Duff’s pad. Now it’s where they stash all the t-shirts and other merchandise.

    At the end of season five, the show focused on a possible Charm City West. Duff is still in the process of figuring out a location for a Los Angeles space. “We already do so much business out there. We’re flying back and forth. It’s grating. Why don’t we just open up out here? It’d be so much easier than what we’re doing now.” He’s taking his time since rent rates can be very outrageous in SoCal. He was quoted $500,000 key money and $18,000 a month for one empty restaurant. One location had a bar attached to it, but unlike the stars of A&E’s Miami Ink, Duff has no dream of owning a bar. “I’m a baker. This is what I do.”

    Speaking of baking, how long can the cakes sit around the shop while being decorated? The show seems to have them on the prep pedestal a week before delivery.

    “That’s the magic of television,” Duff says. “We don’t bake the cakes until later in the week – usually Wednesday and Thursday (and sometimes Friday) for a Saturday event. Monday and Tuesday we’re making all the decorations like sugar flowers, templates, all the engineering gets done before the ovens are turned on. The cake is fresh. With us being under the microscope, we have to make sure our cake tastes good.”

    Viewers of the show mention that there’s never any focus on baking the cake. “A show about baking is pretty boring,” Duff declares. “The baking part is really monotonous and the same every time. The design of the cake is what appeals to television. What really appeals to our customers is the flavors. We have 50 flavors. We also have our In and Out Burger secret menu where you can call up and ask for anything you want. We’ll figure out how to make it.”

    On the show, the gang have made quite a few grotesque cakes especially for area doctors who enjoy severed limbs on their special day. Have there been cakes that the Food Network executives have nixed from airing? Will there be a Pay-Per-View Ace of Cakes: Too Creamy for TV?

    “If that’s happened, I’ve never heard of it,” Duff swears. “We really don’t do X-rated cakes. It’s just a waste of time. We’ve seen most of that stuff and it’s really gross. If we did it; we’d do it really well and kinda cool.”

    While the show does its best to be real, Duff admits to a moment that had to be toned down for TV. During the episode where they delivered Roger Moore a cake at the United Nations, the hotel housekeeping ate their extra cakes.

    “That was one time when people were emailing me saying, “That wasn’t real.” My reaction that was shown on TV wasn’t real,” Duff confesses. “My real reaction? They couldn’t use a word of it. I was screaming at that manager threatening to cut his balls off and blow up his hotel. They don’t want to show me doing that. I don’t do that except maybe once every year.”

    Should we fear that any day now TMZ will release Duff’s greatest rants?

    “I’m sure there’s a lot of Christian Bale moments that will crop up. Not even of me freaking out. I’m usually really filthy on camera. We’re always dropping innuendoes, but keeping a real straight face when we’re doing it. We hide little tiny fondant dicks all over the bakery, hoping the camera will catch one of these and nobody will see them during editing.”

    Forget the hidden Mickeys at Disneyland, now you know that you can play the hidden penis game while watching reruns of Ace of Cakes. He’s been saucy on the show.

    “The first episode of the first season Sherri and I were making a non-edible dinosaur with pipe, rope and modeling chocolate,” Duff says. “It was a centerpiece for the Children’s Center in Baltimore. They wanted to keep it for five years. We macramed the legs and tail with rope. As we were doing it, I said, ‘You know this reminds me of the bong I made in college.’ The episode aired and that line was in there. I was like, ‘Oh my God. They got me saying bong on TV. Everybody is going to think I’m a stoner.’”

    Did Duff have to beg forgiveness from the people of China like his homeboy Michael Phelps?

    “Not at all,” Duff declares. “I think they’re giving Michael a really hard time.” We joke about how Phelps should have stuck to pot brownies. No sponsor would drop him for a photo of baked goods in his mouth.

    Does Duff have to be extra careful now that he’s a public figure to avoid getting into trouble like a drunk driving charge? Does he stash plenty of cab fare cash to avoid Ty Pennington headlines?

    “I don’t drink. I’m allergic to alcohol,” Duff said. He is still amazed at Thomas Keller’s food magic from his tenure at The French Laundry in Napa Valley. Towards the end, he felt isolated in the area. “The only thing in Napa Valley is wine. You go out to eat and all you do is talk about wine.” Being allergic to wine really doesn’t make it that much fun of a prime topic. He mentions that if you are in Napa Valley, visit Francis Ford Coppola’s winery to check out the second floor museum.

    If you see his band soihadto at a local club, don’t feel obligated to buy him a beer. Duff doesn’t hang out by the bar while on the road. “My band makes fun of me because before a show, I’ll sit in the van and read. We’ll get on stage and play. We’ll break down the equipment and I’ll get back in the van and read.” If you’re curious about their sound and upcoming tour dates, visit www.soihadto.com

    Unlike Anthony Bourdain, do not think you can get tight with Duff by ragging on Racheal Ray. During one show he had to deal with an loudmouth opening act who realized that the identity of the headliner’s bass player as “That cake guy.”

    “They ripped apart the Food Network while they were on stage,” Duff said. “They were saying especially mean stuff about Racheal Ray. They never mentioned me. They were just saying awful things about her. I got up on stage while the talking was going on. I got in their bass player’s face. “Seriously, lay off.’ I wasn’t looking for a fight. We were filming so my camera crew was there.”

    The band shut up and played their music. While Duff was setting up his equipment for their set, the opening act bass player stepped up to the stage.

    “‘So you got anything else to say?,’” Duff quotes the guy. “He’s got these two huge dudes behind him. ‘I’m not trying to fight. I found what you said offensive and I wanted to put an end to it. I’m not trying to get into a bar fight with you.’ I look up and I see that behind the goons is our entire camera crew. They’re all L.A. nasty camera crew guys not to be fucked with. There’s 11 of them. I said, ‘Actually on second thought, fuck you!’ I pushed the guy. And then his two goon go toward the stage and 11 pairs of hands grab them all and pull them back. The guy turns around and sees his buddies wrapped up in 11 guys and was like ‘Oh shit.’ And that was it.”

    Don’t mess with that cake guy.. Unlike stars who use their fame to get a singing career like Joaquin Phoenix and Lindsay Lohan, the band came before the frosting fame.

    “The rock and roll was way before the bakery,” Duff said. “I started the bakery out of my apartment just so I could be able to set my own hours and block off dates when I could go on tour.”

    His sous chef Geof hooked up with Duff so he can also have a job that allowed him to be in a band. Most of the Charm City crew are in bands. Unlike many jobs where the boss gives you the talk about choosing between your career and your hobby, Duff insists on the opposite. “The way it’s set up is at any point anybody can go and do whatever they do. Be it a synchronized swimming show, a music show or an art show. It makes me happy knowing that from day one that this place is an excuse so we can all live rock star lives. Now it’s even better. Whenever I have a speaking engagement, I take my band with me. We book a show at whatever city we might be in.”

    I bring up the nightmare that his show on Food Network might be the longest lead in for an episode of Throwdown with Bobby Flay. Does he have this fear that he’s being scammed into thinking he has a show on the channel like the unwitting cooks on that series?

    “No,” Duff laughs. “I’ve tried to get on and they won’t let me. I’ve cooked as long as I’ve baked. Let Bobby choose the throwdown and I’ll do it. They’re like, “We can’t. If (Bobby) loses it’s kinda an Iron Chef thing and it makes him look bad because the cake guy beat him at something culinary.” And if Duff wins, Bobby merely beat the cake guy. There’s no justice for a man with fondant stained fingers.

    Has he been approached to tag team on a very special episode of Iron Chef? “I’d love to. They’re talking about a lot more of that stuff.” We can only hope that this holiday season Duff joins forces with Michael Symon to create a deep fried pork cake wrapped in bacon.

    The seventh season of Ace of Cakes is about to go into production. Duff will soon visit to Alaska to help him research a cake that celebrates the anniversary of its statehood. He’s scheduled to take part in many native sports including dog sledding. “They want me to discover Alaska beyond Northern Exposure.” Will he whip up a baked Alaska while in the 49th state? “I have when I was a pastry chef at a hotel. It’s a weird mom thing. I was in Colorado and they loved the baked Alaska.”

    Many recent fans of Ace of Cakes are shocked to see Duff and Geof losing on old episodes of Challenge. But unlike many of the other pastry chefs that looked like they’ll bust a blood vessel if they didn’t get the medal; Duff and Geof were easy going no matter the outcome.

    “We always lost, but we never played to win,” Duff says. “We went there to have a good time. The people we were competing against were vastly superior to us. We would always keep an eye on all the other decorators because they were showing us stuff that we would never know about.” The competition became Duff and Geof’s master classes.

    Duff has also learned from another master: Kevin Smith.

    “I’m a Kevin Smith freak,” Duff declares. “I have all his DVDs of him doing talks. When I do a speaking engagement, I pretty much base them on how Kevin does his.” An Evening with Kevin Smith is better than the Toastmasters Speeches Guide.

    What sort of birthday cake would be make the director of Dogma?

    “I would do a very realistic life-size bust of Ben Affleck with that shit eating grin on his face. I’d have him saying something really smart ass.”

    Write your Senator to make this brilliant project a reality. The world needs to know what’s the flavor of Ben Affleck’s brains.

    Towards the end of the conversation, we discuss how Ace of Cakes took over from the numerous tattoo shop reality shows. These are shows about people wanting something close to them turned into an object of art with the help of others. The big difference being the lack needles. What makes Cakes special is the lack of dead weight in the shop. Everybody has talent and does their best to make a cake work.

    I feel bad about my sloppy cake making skills. My frosting looks like California mudslides. Instead of running off to the circus, I wanted to flee to Charm City and cover my life in fondant. Maybe Duff has a need for a full-time taste tester?

    Unlike HBO’s Cathouse, visitors aren’t welcomed to drop by Charm City Cakes. They’re pretty busy inside. There’s no public tours. We joke about how it’s like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. They do get plenty of tourists taking snapshots of the bakery and sometimes the modern Oompa-Loompas will appear.

    “If we’re not busy, I’ll stick my head out and say hi to somebody that’s taking a picture,” Duff said.” If somebody rings the bell and we don’t have an appointment, we won’t answer the door. We don’t do tours because this is where we work.”

    FUGITIVE CUES

    Plenty of people were upset about the replacement score on The Fugitive: Season 2, Volume 1. The music was a victim for Capitol disbanding their needle drop package. But it seems like the folks at CBS DVD have figured out what original music can by kept on the soundtrack. They sent me over a note for folks who want this new version of the DVDs:

    In response to fans of the classic TV series THE FUGITIVE, CBS DVD is offering a new version of Season 2, Volume 1 – with much of the original music restored – free to purchasers of the initial release. We hope they concur that we not only put TV DVD on a pedestal, but also our customers. To obtain the new version, go to www.fugitivedvdreplacement..com and follow the instructions.

    You only have to send in the proof of purchases to get the replacement discs.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    The Boondock Saints Blu-ray is a major step up from what I saw on DVD nearly a decade ago. This tale of two Irish brothers going after the Russian mob in Boston is a comedy dripping in blood and bullets. What saves this over the top film is Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery being so likable as the violent brothers who view themselves as doing the Lord’s work. Willem Dafoe is spectacular as the police detective who channels the crime scene to expose the mayhem. He knows how to chew up a scene like a shark. He goes so over the top that the script appears normal. Ron Jeremy has another one of his legendary cinematic deaths. Will he ever live long enough to make a sequel? The bonus features include outtakes and deleted scenes. Fans of the early days of the Comedy Channel will be in awe of extra minutes of Jimmy Tingle as the confessional priest.

    The French Connection Blu-ray brings the 1971 Best Picture Oscar winner to a new color palate. Director William Friedkin has digitally tweaked it by a process demonstrated on a bonus feature. Purists will argue that he defiled the film. The last time I saw a 35mm print, the red shift had taken effect. Friedkin’s given the film an even gritty color chart. I like it. The film has New York cops Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy Russo (Roy Scheider) stumble across a major heroin shipment. The mobsters are hooked up with a Frenchman (Fernando Rey). The highlight of the film involves Popeye chasing after an elevated train. The glory of this chase is only heightened in the bonus features when they confess that they didn’t quite close the streets. This was not a closed course. The Blu-ray will bug people who have grain issues. They didn’t use many lights.. The film is pushed thus really visible grain in these low level moments. There’s a second Blu-ray disc packed with documentaries about the film. Friedkin revisits the scene of the chase. All of the bonus features from the earlier five star edition DVD have been brought over.

    French Connection II Blu-ray could be subtitled Popeye Doyle’s Really Bad European Vacation. New York’s best narcotics cop has arrived in France to hunt down Fernando Rey. However Popeye’s got issues on his pursuit since he doesn’t know the language or the streets of Marsailles. He’s not allowed to carry a gun. Things go bad when he’s snagged by Rey’s crew. Instead of killing Popeye, Rey gets him hooked on heroin. Can Popeye escape, survive cold turkey and capture Rey? John Frankenheimer took over the directorial chores from Friedkin. He used plenty of lights so there’s no major grain on this 1080p transfer.. Before his death in 2002, Frankenheimer recorded a commentary track for the film. His career in film and TV is covered in another bonus feature.

    Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder Blu-ray is the fourth movie featuring the cast of the defunct animated sci-fi series. Amy Wong’s dad plans to take out an arm of the Milky Way in order to expand his miniature golf course. While protesting this, Fry gets into an industrial accident. Instead of being injured, he can now read minds. This leads him to his new career as a pro Poker player. Him and Bender discover that winning doesn’t make you popular. “The League of Mad Fellows” arrive to take the story into another dimension. Folks who’ve collected the first three will be pleased how the final feature turns out. Hopefully Fox will make another batch. They can’t let Bender perish into the hiatus void. There’s plenty of bonus features on the Blu-ray. A deleted scene is called “Dolomite Hill.” There’s a short about Matt Groening experiencing zero gravity. “Zapp Brannigan’s Guide to Making Love At A Woman” has clips from the master of seduction. You might want this on your iPhone to reference during a hot date.

    Igor Blu-ray is a cute CGI animated feature. John Cusack voices a hunchbacked Igor who dreams of being a mad scientist. However society demands he merely throws the switch. He gets his chance to create a hideous monster, but finds himself a victim of politics. Steve Buscemi cracks me up as the animated cat. Steve ought to voice a new version of Crusader Rabbit. Jay Leno plays a king who decides his country’s best export is fear. It’s better than an economy based on Beanie Babies. John Cleese and Eddie Izzard voice mad scientists. Those English actors are always criminally insane.

    The Pink Panther: Collector’s Edition Blu-Ray brings the sophisticated jewel heist comedy to the next level. This is still the best of the Pink Panther films because David Niven keeps it from turning into a complete farce. No matter how foolish Peter Sellers becomes as Inspector Clouseau, Niven has his suave attitude to cushion the slapstick. There’s also two saucy actresses to keep the action sexy. Capucine is Clouseau’s wife. She’s also Niven’s partner in crime. Claudia Cardinale is the princess with the Pink Panther diamond necklace. She is so tasty while smothering her tiger skin rug. While watching this in 1080p, you should have a bottle of champagne next to the remote control. The bonus features from the movie boxset are included. A new feature is an interview with a real jewel thief. He robbed Phyllis Diller. Now that’s would make a great movie. There’s also a DVD version, but you’ll want the Blu-ray to enjoy the lavish view of the Alps.

    DVD Shelf

    The Pink Panther Classic Cartoon Collection is a 9 DVD set that contains all the Pink Panther, The Inspector, The Ant & The Aardvark and Roland & Ratfink shorts. This is a megaload with 192 cartoons. The Pink Panther is always cool with his silent and sly ways. The fact that he refuses to talk makes these cartoons perfect for watching while people are being noisy in the room. The Inspector was a semi-spin off of Inspector Clouseau. They don’t draw him to look like Peter Sellers or even the animated Inspector that pops up in the title sequences for the Pink Panther movies. Pat Harrington (One Day At A Time) voiced the character. The Ant & The Aardvark was a chase cartoon. Warner animation legend lifted a few Tweety and Sylvester scripts on a few of these cartoons. John Byner did both voices. He made the Ant sound like Dean Martin while the Aardvark comes off as Jackie Mason. Roland and Ratfink spoofs the old flickers with the hero and villain characters. Lennie Weinrib vocalized both characters. He’s best known for mouthing H.R. Pufnstuf. This one cartoon that I still don’t think was that great. I wished they’d given us Misterjaw instead. The Pink Panther cartoons alone are worth it. There’s also a coupon for 2 tickets to Pink Panther 2 that’s good until the end of March.

    What Just Happened lets us in on two weeks of Art Linson’s life. He’s the producer that brought us Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Fight Club. In this semi-fictionalized account (Robert DeNiro plays Linson), he’s stuck between two difficult films. Michael Wincott is deep into post-production of a Sean Penn film The test screening audience was revolted at the ending that involves a dog being shot. The studio wants it pulled. The director refuses to budge. A second project is not going to get off the ground if Bruce Willis doesn’t shave his beard. This is an inside the studio account of what it takes for even a big time producer to appease the system. DeNiro also gets to juggle two ex-wives and a naughty new friend (Moon Bloodgood). The film is enjoyable, but it comes off as a pilot for an HBO series. It’s like Entourage for grown ups. The commentary track with Barry Levinson and Linson is better than any talk you’ll get in film school from the schmuck who directed an episode of Charles In Charge. The Blu-ray makes the dog killing look exceptionally disturbing.

    How to Lose Friends and Alienate People alienated me with its title and trailer. This film promoted itself as Simon Pegg is the world’s biggest jerk. Why would I pay to see Toby Young’s lifestory? You might know Young as the prick English judge on this season of Bravo’s Top Chef. I find the guy another worthless import who is all hype and no pipe. Did you see when he talked about Tom Cruise’s cameo in Tropic Thunder? Cameo? A cameo is when Hitchcock pops up on the screen for a few seconds. Tom Cruise was a supporting actor. He might have been in disguise, but he was on the screen for critical scenes. Guess you don’t have to answer movie trivia to get though customs. However Pegg’s character has more personality than the real Toby. They really needed to change the name of this film to let us know the real story. How about Simon Pegg Wants to Hump Megan Fox? That’s the basic story. Pegg writes for a Vanity Fair magazine. He meets the up and coming actress and wants to nail her. Of course there are things in the way like Gillian Anderson (X-Files) and her little yappy dog. There’s also a jerk editor and a sweet co-working girl (Kirsten Dunst) that take him off his game. Who cares about the book title in America? What guy couldn’t relate to what is it going to take to shag along with Ms. Fox? Toby Young being a movie moron relates his tale with La Dolce Vita. That’s so wrong. His lifestory is a retread of The Apartment. Except he’s no Jack Lemmon. He’s not even Fred MacMurray.

    The Haunting of Molly Hartley has a high schooler discover that her parents made a deal with the devil over her birth. Maternity hospitals are rather expensive and Satan does offer attractive rates to cover the deductible. Molly starts having problems at her privates school. The film is so goofy that it deserves a drinking game. That Chace Crawford guy from Gossip Girl is the school hunk. What deal has he made with Satan? The stand out performer is Nina Siemaszko. How delightful to witness the star of Wild Orchid II: Two Shades of Blue playing such a convincing school counselor.

    Dead Like Me: Life After Death is a movie follow up to the Showtime series that ended in 2004. George Lass (Ellen Muth) died when a toilet seat fell from space and hit her on the head. Instead of going to heaven, she works as a reaper. She helps the recently departed make the transition. She finds herself working for a new handler. It’s Desmond from Lost (Henry Ian Cusick). She doesn’t trust the guy, but the rest of the crew are in lust over him. The new boss wants them to boost up the numbers even if it means bending the rules. Is George willing to compromise? It’s one of the better movie continuations of a defunct series. You can also get this movie as part of Dead Like Me: The Complete Collection that includes its two seasons.

    Return of the Man From U.N.C.L.E..: The Fifteen Years Later Affair is another TV movie continuation of a canceled series. This one originally aired back in 1983. That it makes it the 25th anniversary of the 15 years later. Or 40 years since Man From U.N.C.L.E. was canceled. Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) and Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) are called back into the spy game when Thrush strikes. Geoffrey Lewis (the man who isn’t Robert Pine) captures a nuclear warhead. Patrick Macnee (The Avengers) is now in charge of U.N.C.L.E. George Lazenby semi-revives his James Bond role. Anyone who bought last year’s Man From U.N.C.L.E.: The Complete Series needs this to truly complete their briefcase.

    Family Ties: The Fifth Season brings us the genius of Nick! “Mrs. Wrong” has Mallory rushing off to New Jersey to marry Nick. Who knew the Garden State is also for elopers? Only two more seasons to wrap up the series. “My Brother’s Keeper” has Alex choosing between his frat and Skippy. The Greeks want to make Skippy their “Big Stooge.” As if being on the show didn’t make Skippy already a mega-dork. “It’s My Party” has Tina Yothers learns to be cool as a Valley Girl. Those were the days when it was cool to be Moon Unit Zappa. There’s 30 episodes here. Only two more seasons to go before the series is wrapped up.

    Caroline and The City: The Second Season should be dedicated for all the single ladies who love their kitties. The season has Caroline dating her vet. Is that the dream marriage of these women? The big cat highlight involves David Hyde Pierce (Fraizer) in “Caroline and the Cat Dancer.” He’s an IRS auditor assigned to investigate Annie. He dreams of making the Broadway stage. He promises to give Annie a clean bill if she can get him an audition for Cats. She’s in that show. He’s hilarious when they slap on the fur. This is a nice gift for your cousin who always sends Christmas cards telling you everything her cats did over the last year.

    Nash Bridges: The Second Season reminds us that Cheech Marin was the real star of this show. Sure Don Johnson plays the title character, but it’s all about Cheech in the completely strange role as the law. Who could have imagined the star of Up In Smoke would be wearing a badge in a semi-serious TV drama? After an extremely short first season that had only 8 episode, there’s 23 caseloads in this boxset. “Internal Affairs” has Danny Trejo in a really short role.. He survives long enough to show off his massive senorita in the sombrero tattoo. “25 Hours of Christmas” is a very special episode since Tracey Walter (Repo Man) plays an angel. Madonna’s original sperm donor, Carlos Leon is a auto mechanic. The big ending has Cheech performing with a band featuring Clarence Clemons (Bruce Springsteen) and Carmine Appice (Vanilla Fudge). The show doesn’t try to be as intense as Miami Vice even though they have Eddie Jobson (Prog Rock Vet) composing the score. Nash Bridges is a cop show that Jimmy Buffet would produce.

    Whale Wars is an Animal Planet series about people putting themselves between the Japanese harpoons and whales. Sometimes you forget that these giant water mammals are still hunted. The crew of the Steve Irwin are passionate about their mission. They’re willing to get shot and rammed if it means distracting the hunters. What’s disgusting is how a Japanese whaling ship has “Research” painted on the side. The captain was thrown out of Green Peace for being too aggressive. He formed Sea Shepherd to keep up the fight. These guys know they might be killed on the high seas around Antarctica by whalers.

    7th Heaven: The Eighth Season brings us more troubles from a Reverend’s family. For this outing we have Stephen Collins (Star Trek: The Motion Picture) deal with his son being in a terrible auto accident. There’s babysitting issues. The big startling things is somebody gets to become grandparents.. This show was so squeaky clean that the DVDs are pine scented.

    GIVEAWAY TIME

    The fine folks at CBS DVD have given us 5 copies of Nash Bridges: The Second Season. In order to win a copy of you have to answer the following question: What type of tires did Cheech have to buy for Don Johnson’s car? And what’s my favorite guest star of this season? Would you like a hint? She released an album. Send the two answers in an email to mokaha@aol.com by March 2. Have “Nash Bridges Giveaway Rocks My World” in the subject title. Employees of Party Favors, Tommy Chong and Philip Michael Thomas are not eligible.

  • Party Favors: Smile A Smile

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    GRAND BAHAMA ISLAND – Why do critic groups ignore the finest moment in cinema this year? Can anyone rate up with Anna Faris’ performance in Smiley Face? Could Meryl Streep or Kate Winslet have pulled off playing an entire movie as if they ate a dozen cupcakes loaded with pot? Nope. But Anna is amazing in the most messed up role of the year that doesn’t involve being naked near Mickey Rourke.

    Faris’ imaginary conversations with the late Roscoe Lee Browne (Soap) should be taught in acting schools. She has a magical blankness in the stare when keeps zoning out. Her ability to run like a cast member of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp must be praised. It’s hard to believe that Faris didn’t rehearse the entire film after smoking a Tommy Chong-sized joint to memorize her actions for when the cameras rolled. It’s hard to maintain a buzz while waiting for the gaffer to tweak the lamps. Although I’ll guess that at the wrap party, every gaffer wanted to get high with her.

    Some may argue that this is a 2007 release based on an extremely light theatrical release. Where did this film play? A peep show booth in Butte, Montana? If Roger Ebert can list films that came out in 2007 as a best of 2008, so can I. Does this film play well on the big screen> It’s the perfect size for my TV when it routinely pops up on pay channels at 2 a.m.

    Smiley Face is a stoner film with a proper warning message to the kids. There is a danger to eating pot laced baked goods. They create a vicious circle since you get high, you have the munches so you eat more pot laced cupcakes and get even more high. And that leads to eating more cupcakes. It’s not a pretty picture when you become “motion sensitive.” Also getting really high and attempting to bake more pot cupcakes isn’t a good idea. These are drug education messages that kids really need to know. Don’t bake and bake.

    The movie is loaded with plenty of famous cameos like The Love Boat smashing into Reefer Madness. Marion Ross looks ready to star in Happy Days: The Next Generation. Fans of The Office will finally know what Jim looks like while spanking off in the shower. He goes full release face on camera. Likewise The ’70s Show viewers will be scarred while watching Hyde humping a skull. The most stomach retching moment is merely a close up of Carrot Top.

    I was going to link to the trailer, but it’s horrible. Just program your Tivo to snag it next time Smiley Face airs on your cable box.

    Instead of an Oscar, Anna Faris deserves a postage stamp in Jamaica for Smiley Face. She’s the Queen of Comedy this year.

    I’M BROKE LIKE ERIC ROTH

    Bernie Madoff stole 2.3 billion dollars from the Party Favors Global Lengthwise Fold Charity Fund. I should have invested the money in Jar-Jar Binks Beanie Babies. I feel bad for all the school children who sent me their pennies in order to make the world a better place for strippers. But do we really expect someone like Madoff to care about the kids or the strippers?

    This is what I deserve from believing the hype that Steven Spielberg is the smartest man in Showbiz. He put his holocaust charity bucks into the secure hands of Bernie. Why would Spielberg get fooled? Of course he’ll get his fat dough back when his musical production of the Flintstones hits Broadway. Or will that money be sent to Steven Spielrock’s Swiss bank account?

    For all the talk about how lame and tired Hollywood is when it comes to recycling films; is there more creatively desolate landscape than the Great Blight Way? Why do they keep turning bad films into lame Broadway shows? Xanadu and Christine weren’t emotional rollercoasters begging for the stage. Did anyone really want Young Frankenstein to exist without Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle?

    When a creatively bankrupt producer decides to remake a crappy film with bigger stars, they’re only forcing actors to do it once to capture it on celluloid (or HD). But a Broadway producer gets sadistic as they make actors repeat their performances each night to earn their bucks. Will Smith didn’t have to endure Wild Wild West the entire summer. Although that could be a good “community service punishment” for the crime known as Hancock.

    Should the legit theater Marquees hype movie titles that belong at the buck cinema? Maybe next season we’ll get musical versions of Billy Madison, Jurassic Park 3 and Transformers.

    CRYPT KEEPER’S BALL

    “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest” needs to have a Highlander moment. There can only be one name in that title. For once, I’m not rooting for Ryan to have his head chopped off by the World’s Oldest Teenager.

    Ever since Dick survived his stroke a few years back, he’s insisted at being a part of the show> He sits in the warm confines of an indoor studio with a view of the Times Square action. It’s a sweet reminder that Dick has been a constant host for over 35 years on that special night. But his post-stroke appearances make him less animated than the Cryptkeeper.

    I wouldn’t mind a kiss and wave moment from Dick right before the ball drops. Or a pre-recorded introduction for the hot new band. But Dick insists on giving himself prime chunks of live air time to chit chat with Ryan. It’s really hard to listen since he’s still in severe speech therapy mode. He’s not broadcast quality. If he was on Entertainment Tonight, they’d subtitle the interview. Dick Clark the producer would never allow a TV personality with the same issues as Dick Clark that much time on the air.

    Perhaps it is the desire to host another New Year’s Eve show is what keeps the 79 year-old Dick Clark alive. But he kills the fun when he arrives on the TV screen. People at home are in a partying mood. They tune into the broadcast to know exactly when the ball drops instead of counting on a drunk hostess’ cuckoo clock that’s five minutes fast. They have champagne flowing and lips ready for kissing. And then there’s Dick Clark speaking like Frankenstein’s Monster. “Fire bad when Jonas Brothers follow Doobie Brothers.”

    Dick needs to realize that he’s old enough to let go of this part of his life. I also give this advice to Carson Daly. He was outshined by a smashed beer cup. Kathy Griffin’s naughty moment on CNN about slapping something out a heckler’s mouth was such a letdown since it’s such an old rip. She needs to get with the 21st Century. She could have at least claimed the guy worked as a taste tester at Analeze.

    SHOW IT

    When is Bravo going to have The Real Househusbands of the Internet? Or are guys smart enough to avoid having their child raising skills hidden from the public?

    My scummy source in the adult industry has told me that the hottest “get” celebrities are the older daughters from a certain reality TV family. “Duggar Girls: 69 and Counting” could easily outpace sales of Nailin’ Palin. John and Katie: Goin’ For Nine is their dream back up title.

    VINCE SELLS IT

    America has its second great TV pitchman. Vince selling the Shamwow and Slap Chop is moving into Billy Mays hallowed turf. Vince rocks the headset mic and has no problem going off the script during the demo. He shows us that his products make you want to party. What gets me is that he’s not merely talking to me, but giving business to the camera guy.

    Plus he knows we all love his nuts.

    What the hell is Vince’s last name? Perhaps that’s what makes him such a mysterious guy even after all those amazing things he tells us about the product. He seems to be like Tom Cruise’s Vince in The Color of Money. He’s the rock and roll hustler as seen on TV. Rumor has it that he’s Vince Offer, who directed The Underground Comedy Movie. Remember that movie being advertised on TV?

    It’s good to have two Americans selling to us instead of importing another snotty Englishman. I don’t see Vince as competition for Billy Mays, but a tag-team pal during the marathon commercial breaks. Odds are that Billy still has a shot at a political career as a Vice President. Somebody ought to do a spoof of The Color Of Money with Billy Mays as Fast Eddie and Vince as Vince. Or maybe Ron Popeil training Vince to take on Billy Mays at a swap meet showdown? You can still call it “The Color of Money.” Or “How Long Was My Pocketfisherman?”

    BURN IT OFF

    Is Jillian Reynolds (formerly Barberie) dark enough to get her own Univision sitcom? Did I miss the memo that she’s up for the lead for Broadway’s adaptation of Spanglish? She needs to get on Celebrity Rehab in order break her tanning habit. George Hamilton has volunteered to conduct the Intervention episode. For her own good, she needs to lighten up.

    BOTH SIDE OF THE ROAD

    North Carolina Beats Duke is the perfect gift for UNC basketball fans. The boxset contains three complete games featuring the Tarheels pulling out tight wins over Coach K. and his Blue Devils. A contest from March 1984 has Michael Jordan taking Duke into two overtimes before claiming victory for Dean Smith. The second game is from 1992 when UNC spanked Christian Laettner. The guy choked on the charity stripe with the game on the line. Tarheel’s center Eric Montross iced the game with blood dripping from his face. They don’t let you play with bleeding wounds anymore. The final game is from 1995 when Rasheed Wallace and Jerry Stackhouse shut up the Cameron Crazies in another double overtime game. These are the original broadcasts with all the action and none of the car ads.

    Duke Beats Carolina gives the other side of the Tobacco Road Rivalry. Now if you cheer for Coach K, you’ll get glee seeing UNC’s whine and cheese crowd crying in their cushy leather courtside seats. A game from 2000 has Shane Battier and Carlos Boozer deflating the Dean Dome in overtime. From 2004 comes the first Coach K vs. Roy Williams battle. Guess who pulls this one out in overtime. The final game is a nail biter with J.J. Redick following the coach’s plan. Both sets will get you extremely excited even though you know the outcome.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Without A Paddle: Nature’s Calling Blu-Ray deserves high definition love just for the shot of a squirrel chugging straight out of the keg. This is not really a sequel to the original film that starred Seth Green and Dax Shepard. This has two relatively unknown actors heading into the wilderness in pursuit of an almost lost love. It’s just complete goofiness that has a greenie message since the love interest wants to save nature. The film also stars NFL Hall of Famer Jerry Rice. The San Francisco legend is now a thespian. Perhaps soon the dancing wide receiver will be making a Tyler Perry film. The highlight of the movie is the squirrel attacking a keg like a sophomore at Party Headquarters. The bonus features include a blooper reel that shows Rice is ready to challenge Howie Long in the acting field. “The Furious Nuts” short gives us the truth behind working with squirrels.

    DVD SHELF

    Matlock: The Second Season brings more deep fried Southern-style law from Andy Griffith. The big change for this sophomore outing is Matlock’s daughter (Linda Purl) splitting for Philadelphia. He hires Cassie Phillips (Kari Lizer) to be his legal back up. Tyler Hudson (Kene Holliday) is back as his real feet on the ground when it comes to finding the evil people who set up Matlock’s clients. There’s numerous recognizable guest stars in this boxset. Billy Mumy is no longer Lost In Space when he lands in “The Genius.” Ralph Bellamy, Robert Culp and Scott Bakula mix it up in “The Power Brokers.” “The Annihilator” stars Dick Butkus as a pro wrestler accused of killing his ring rival. Chick Hearn announces the action. Only seven more seasons left to complete the series.

    This American Life: The Second Season features another 6 installments of the popular NPR radio series brought to video by Showtime. The highlight is “John Smith” which attempts to tell the story of a life using numerous John Smiths of various ages from across America. It’s an engrossing experiment. A single life does come out of these same name participants. “Going Down In History” examines a jail break with the convicts using dental floss to make their escape rope. Ira Glass really needs to make more of these episodes. This American Life The Second Season is exclusively being sold at Borders bookstores.

    Funny Face – Paramount Centennial Collection shares a blissful 103 minutes with Audrey Hepburn. She’s swooped up from her lowly bookstore job to become a super model in Paris. Her photographer is Fred Astaire. The music and dancing propels this movie into the high fashion zenith. Audrey strikes more perfect poses than a season of America’s Next Top Model. The 2 DVD set includes a bonus feature about Vistavision that should be seen by fans of cinematography. Learn the secret of the film that went through the camera sidewise. “Kay Thompson: ‘Think Pink’” reveals the life of this amazing performer. “The Fashion Designer and His Muse” exposes the wardrobe love between fashion designer Herbert de Givenchy and Hepburn.

    Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Paramount Centennial Collection is the ultimate Manhattan partygirl movie. Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) is a force of nature who bursts into her neighbor’s life. Paul Varjak (George Peppard) is a writer who slowly discovers the truth about the girl who recreated herself for the Big Apple scene. Their strange romance plays out with Henry Mancini’s lush score and “Moon River” song. The only bad move in the film is the casting of Mickey Rooney as a Japanese neighbor. It’s a squirm time when he’s on the screen. There’s a great array of bonus features on the two disc set including a history of the film and Tiffany’s. “Mr. Yunioshi: An Asian Perspective” allows people to complain about Mickey Rooney’s role in the film. “Behind the Gates: The Tour” is a quicky trip around Paramount studio.

    My Three Sons, The First Season, Volume Two allows us 18 more episodes that bask in the greatness of William Frawley. What happens when Fred Mertz (I Love Lucy) has to raise three boys while their absentee father spends why too much time at work and working the ladies? You get the best grandfather in TV history in Frawley. As I watch these episodes, I really hate Fred McMurray. Sure he means well with his sons, but there’s a strange distance between them. This boxset contains the final 18 episodes of the first season. “Man in a Trenchcoat” has dad away for the night (big surprise) and the kids get creeped out by a stranger. Dad thinks his son is spy crazy. “Organization Woman” has McMurrary’s sister arrive and mess up William Frawley’s routines. “The Horseless Saddle” has Frawley get a saddle in the mail. Is this a secret message from Ethel? The shows switch in tone from comical to serious family dramas so you never quite know what to expect.

    Walker, Texas Ranger The Complete Sixth Season opens up another can of Chuck Norris whoopass. Why did criminals even think of coming to Texas? Didn’t they know after five seasons that they had no chance of being a success? Chuck isn’t always about knocking heads with his cowboy boots. “Lucas” has him helping a boy stricken with AIDS find his mother. “Brainchild” has a super genius kid forcing Walker to help him find his mother. He was all about finding some mommies this season. Walker busts up illegal medical testing on nursing home patients in “Forgotten People.” “The Last of a Breed” has Norris play a legendary Texas Ranger. He’s diverse that way. John Beck (Rollerball‘s Moonpie) pops up at “Rainbow’s End.” Chuck Norris lands 23 episodes of kung fu crime fighting that Conan O’Brien will love.

    Burn After Reading would have been a complete disappointment except for a genius case of casting. Sledge Hammer (David Rasche) and Oz‘s Vern Schillinger (J.K. Simmons) finally meet. It’s the rabid lawman reporting to the Aryan Brotherhood’s main man. Good versus evil meet over a desk at the CIA headquarters. Did the Coen Brothers really know what they were doing? This goes up with Donald Duck and Daffy Duck facing off in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Although it’ll be nice when the Coen brothers decide to show us the third act play out.

  • Party Favors: Coochie! Coochie!

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    BURBANK – NBC ought to just change their slogan to “We’re Chattin’ Fools!”

    The announcement of Jay Leno taking over the Monday through Friday 10 p.m. slot for his Tonight Show wasn’t unexpected. Jeff Zucker (star of Fat Actress) has been letting the network focus more on its high rated morning and late night line ups. Primetime was getting in the way. Did anyone really thing reviving The Bionic Woman and Knight Rider was going to make the Peacock proud? Think of Jay Leno as the Channel’s Chunnel to get beneath the low performing comedies, dramas and gameshows.

    This means NBC will now have three and a half hours of nightly talkshows to promote their 2 hours of primetime. Not to mention the 4 hours of the Today Show that’s news lite with a heavy focus on star interviews. That’s 7 1/2 hours of infotainment coming to you fresh daily from NBC.

    How long can a broadcast network sustain itself with 7 1/2 hours of people sitting behind desks each day? How many A List stars will grind through Matt, Meredith, Al, Jay, Conan, Jimmy Fallon and Carson Daly? They’re going to be running out of “exclusives” come March. They don’t have enough Saturday Night Live cast members to roam across the hallway for Late Night.

    Maybe they’ll just get the CNN holographer to beams stars between all the studios? But with five less hours of prime time talent to promote, NBC won’t have much need for exclusive action. Plus NBC-Universal is cutting back on their movie output so those stars won’t be crawling all over the green room.

    When Andy Warhol predicted in the future we’d all be famous for 15 minutes, he nailed a Nostradamus vision. In the coming decade, we’ll all get 15 minutes as a guest on NBC talkshows. This might be good news for Odd-listers. The web people might finally get a chance to sneak on the sofas. Jay will need more strange superstars to kill that hour. Although the fear is that NBC will go cheap and just have handpuppets fill in the booking gaps.

    QUICKIE GIFTS

    If you need to grab a couple gifts this holiday season, there’s quite a few continuing series worth wrapping up. The Complete Peanuts 1967-1970 Box Set brings Snoopy into his superstar turf. He’s joined by his little pal Woodstock. Also the first real black character arrives with Franklin. Looney Tunes: Golden Collection, Vol. 6 has several wartime cartoons. Bugs and Daffy fight back the Germans and the Japanese. Ever notice how today’s cartoon characters are such utter cowards. Why hasn’t Spongebob Squarepants gone after Bin Laden? Can’t Dora the Explorer funnel information to the CIA? Walt Disney Treasures only has three titles in the tins this year. The Chronological Donald, Vol 4 1951-1961 wraps up all the theatrical shorts starring Donald Duck. They even toss in “Donald in Mathmagic Land.” The Mickey Mouse Club Presents Annette has all the segments from our favorite Beach Party star’s series. Dr. Syn: The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh is the hot title of the year. You can’t buy this new online. If you see it at your local store grab it. It’s already going for $80. Patrick McGoohan (The Prisoner) is a priest who uses a disguise to smuggle booze into England. Finally there’s Saturday Night Live: The Fourth Season. This is the last time for John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.

    HOLIDAY GUEST STAR!!!!

    Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s our special Christmas moment with Charo!

    Make sure you watch it in “high quality” mode. Charo’s rump shaking is stunning. In case you’re curious, Charo and Tony Sacca were shooting the finale of his Las Vegas PBS special.

    STARS?

    The cast of the Celebrity Apprentice have been announced. Remember when Donald Trump announced that he’d be getting Oscar winners, sports superstars, titans of industry and Nobel prize winners to play his game? Guess who qualifies as Award winners, business bigwigs and media superstars to the Donald this time around:

    Andrew Dice Clay – Is he going to spend half the show talking about how he’s going to sell out Giants Stadium? He’s on NBC so he can’t unload his classic nursery rhymes.

    Tom Green – Glad to see he was able to take time away from preproduction of Freddie Got Fingered 2. The kids on The Hills don’t remember when he was an MTV Superstar. Expect to see him work the “I’m Canadian and don’t quite understand your culture” angle.

    Clint Black – is this year’s Trace Adkins. Wasn’t his last reality series the one that had Sulu sing country and was canceled after 1 episode? Isn’t it bad luck to have a celeb from a reality disaster on board? Or maybe it’s good luck for us.

    Annie Duke – will bring her Poker wits to the boardroom. She will be responsible for all the “gambler” instinct references.

    Claudia Jordan – is a Deal or No Deal model. Claudia makes Vanna White look overworked. You open 1 suitcase an hour and that makes you a superstar? The Samsonite Gorilla must have been booked for a cruise.

    Brian McKnight – must have to plug an album. At least he can put an end to the misconception that he was a member of New Kids on the Block.

    Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins of TLC – count her tributes to Left Eye Lopez.

    Herschel Walker – will show off his Heisman skills. Perhaps Donald will talk about the cash he paid Walker to run for his USFL New Jersey Generals? Whatever they do, don’t let Herschel listen to music while he parks the car in the garage.

    Natalie Gulbis – is the new LPGA Golfing hottie. She hasn’t won an LPGA tournament. Her twist on the LPGA tour is that she’s not from Asia and she’s not name dropped on The L Word. Now that’s a rarity on the tour.

    “One-time skating champ Scott Hamilton” – must be nice that they had to single out his singular achievement. The guy won the gold medal in 1984 along with 4 consecutive US and World titles. What must Donald Trump’s people belittle Hamilton? What would Brian Boitano do, Scott?

    Khloe Kardashian – a celebrity for re-enacting her drunk driving bust for Ryan Seacrest’s Keeping Up with the Kardashians series. This woman barely works at her family’s clothing store and leeches off her sex tape making sister’s barely existent fame. Lenny who hangs out at the Today Show is a bigger star than this woman. America cares about Lenny if they don’t see him outside the studio. Why couldn’t the Donald get Lenny to appear on the show? Guess Trump doesn’t have real pull with real famous people.

    Joan Rivers and her daughter Melissa Rivers – Are they going to tagteam it? Is this a step up from the TV Guide Channel? Shouldn’t there be a rule that contestants have to be carbon based?

    Actress Brande Roderick… acted like she really liked having sex with Hef. She’s practically a lost Tweed sister.

    Dennis Rodman – Does this man need anymore attention? Doesn’t he have a court hearing this week? Maybe he’ll bump uglies with Joan by the end of the show.

    Is this really an A List line up for a major network show? Trump makes NBC look lower on the food chain than Fox Reality. Any random episode of Match Game ’76 has more star power than this cast. Why do these people play for charity? A majority of them are charity cases.

    Why doesn’t he book his Palm Beach pals that were scammed for billions by Bernard Madoff. Wouldn’t America enjoy watching broke bluebloods eating pig vaginas for enough cash to pay for their poodle’s spa day? Screw it. I’m pitching this show: Eat the Rich. Each week Wall Street Busts have to compete with unemployed factory workers for a week at a fancy hotel. Bluebloods vs. Blue Collars can work as a title, too. If Donald Trump keeps playing with his mortgage payments, he might be available for the pilot.

    MISSING MISS PAGE

    It was amusing to watch the main stream media obituaries for Bettie Page. They presented her as this sweet pin up model from the 1950s. But there were tons of those gals working the cheesecake circuit. What Bettie did was look incredibly hot with bangs and a ballgag. Even half a century later, her fetish influence still dominates the curiously kinky. Who didn’t want to come home and find a blindfolded Bettie tied down to the ottoman?

    MANNIX MANIA

    CBS DVD is swell enough to let me sponsor a giveaway of 5 copies of Mannix: The Second Season. This classic TV detective series is one of my favorites with Mike Connors playing the good living private investigator. There’s a review in this column’s DVD Shelf section.

    In order to win one of the Mannix: The Second Season boxsets, you’ll have to answer a question based on the Party Favors interview with Mannix’s Mike Connors. Name the Oscar winning director and Hall of Fame basketball coach that pushed him towards acting as a career? It’s two different people in case you are wondering. Coach K has not won the Academy Award. Send the answer along with your name and address to mokaha@aol.com by Jan. 9. Employees of the Party Favors, Mike Connors and Tim Robbins are not allowed to win. Although if Mike Connors wants a copy of Mannix: The Second Season, I’ll buy him one.

    ENOUGH MULTI-MERICANS!

    The United States of Tara would be really original if it didn’t look like the offspring of Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union” and “Little Britain USA. Is it necessary to have another show featuring a Commonwealther playing multiple Americans? Next year we’ll have the graduating class of RADA perform as every citizen of Atlanta on Starz. As revenge we need to have Tom Arnold play every member of the English Royal Family. He does a great impersonation of the Queen breaking a fart next to Lady Di’s ghost.

    AH THAT SMELL

    Did you know that Sean Combs’ “I Am King” cologne makes a great vinaigrette dressing? It knows how to sex up arugula. The sweet smell of Combs lets the ladies know that you’re a douchebag who will talk over any song on the radio. The scent reminds her that before the end of the hour, she will be eliminated.

    Party Monsters Cabo has me asking that sad question: Can’t the Mexican police please stop letting these people back into America? Why can’t border security shutdown the human-dopes trade?

    TO BE THE MAN

    Suspended NHLer Sean Avery needs to enter his true profession: Pro Wrestling. Avery can easily be the new Ric Flair when it comes to walking the walk and talking the talk. He’s got the fashion sense and the desire to get the crowd to boo. He’s got the ability to cause a feud with a pack of Wrigley gum. He ought to just start off as a manager so he can hit the ground running. Sure he’s got the “sloppy seconds” stigma, but when has that mattered to Vince McMahon? Avery working against John Cena could be the boost the WWE needs for Wrestlemania.

    PHELPS OVERLOAD

    Is Michael Phelps on every channel? I can’t flip around without seeing his mug. He’s at the Sunday night football game. He’s on every talkshow. He’s at the Celtics game. He’s counting ballots in Minnesota. He’s perp walking a governor. He’s swearing in Obama. He’s putting Jared out of work. Who died and made Phelps the new Rachael Ray? He’s almost on TV as much as reruns of Scrubs.

    SUCK ON THIS

    Nice to see Chris Weitz (American Pie) taking over Twilight. Wonder if we’ll have a young vampire digging his fangs into a cherry pie? Or perhaps a vampire thinking he’s getting a pint of O negative only to discover it’s got a protein kicker? And does this mean the vampires will battle Polar Bears? True Blood Vs. True North coming this winter!

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    The Duchess Blu-ray lets Keira Knightley and her wardrobe sparkle in 1080p. Keira’s the title’s Duchess. She’s stuck in a figurehead position since her Duke husband (Ralph Fiennes) is banging his mistress. She decides that she needs a little action to keep herself busy. Unfortunately while society turns a blind eye towards the husband getting nookie on the side, this is a no-no for the wives. Keira has to fight the repressive nature of British royalty so she can have an orgasm. This is a classy and carnal movie. The bonus features give the historical details of the Duchess including an interview with the writer of her biography.

    Eagle Eye Blu-ray continues Shia LaBeouf’s rise to America’s hottest new action star. This time he gets thrown into a high-tech version of North By Northwest. A mysterious cellphone caller keeps giving him strange orders. He can’t disobey or he’ll get screwed big time as trouble goes out of control. They keep throwing stuff at Shia. Michelle Monaghan also gets the same troublesome phone calls. They join up in their pursuit of trying to figure out who is screwing with their lives and controlling the universe. This is Hitchcock after a case of Red Bull. All the bonus features are in HD including a gag reel. The “Is My Cellphone Watching Me” featurette puts the high tech heebies into you.

    Ghost Town Blu-ray reminds us that Manhattan is extremely crowded when you count the dearly departed. Ricky Gervais (Extras) is a dentist who suffers a near death experience. He comes back from the light with the ability to see Greg Kinnear’s earthbound spirit. Greg needs Ricky to bust up the romance between his widow (Tea Leoni) and Bill Campbell. It’s kind of like Ghost except with a lot less violence. Ricky does capture the comedic nature of being in a romance. You can almost believe he can bag Tea. The hi-def allows the Kinnear to vanish better than when he made Dear God. The bonus features include Gervais on the commentary track and specials on the spectral effects.

    Dexter: The Complete First Season – Blu-ray brings the magic everyone’s favorite serial killer to its Showtime HD roots. Michael C. Hall (Six Feet Under) is the blood splatter specialist for the Miami Police. But he’s got a major secret. At night he hunts down the guilty and slices them up in order to feed his homicidal urges properly. The first season focuses on his pursuit of another serial killer that’s slicing up hookers around town. He can’t stand competition. He learns plenty about himself while looking for a killer that drains all the blood from his victims. The Hi-Def picture still doesn’t reveal the fact that locations around Southern California substitute for Miami. Most of the bonus features are BD-Live connected including getting to see how a real murder investigation goes down.

    THE DVD SHELF

    Duckman: Seasons Three & Four wraps up the greatest animated series about a dirty talking waterfowl private investigator. Jason Alexander voiced Duckman. He was a more disturbing in his attitude and opinions than Peter Griffin on Family Guy. “Sperms of Endearment” has his sister-in-law discover the horrifying truth that she paid a pregnancy clinic to unload a turkeybaster of Duckman’s Babybatter inside her. It’s even more disgusting than my description. “Apocalypse Not” has the entire town go inside a bunker while Duckman destroys everything like Godzilla with a webbed feet. The final 48 shameless episodes are on 7 DVDs. This is just pure duck bliss. It’s a joy to have all 4 seasons of Duckman on the shelf.

    The Tudors: The Complete Second Season keeps up the royal goodness that was Henry VIII’s early marriages. The historical drama picks up as Henry VIII (B. Monkey‘s Jonathan Rhys Meyers) pleads to have his divorce and marriage to Anne Boleyn (Natalie Dormer) recognized by the Catholic Church. The Pope (Peter O’Toole) won’t hear it. The marriage hits rocky ground when Anne doesn’t quite seal the deal by producing a male heir. Many of you will learn what happened to her since you obviously fell asleep during British History 204. This is better than your normal history lecture since Meyers and Dormer demonstrate where royal heirs come from. This is on my list of best TV shows of 2008.

    Mannix: The Second Season brings the detective to the format that made him a hit for 7 seasons. Instead of being a top investigator for a computerized private firm, Mannix (Mike Connors) is now an independent operator. His only employee is Peggy Fair (Gail Fisher). Mannix rules because he enjoyed Scotch, steak, women and fist fight with equal passion. And now that he can pick his caseload, he’s even more involved with clients. “The Silent Cry” has a deaf woman lip read a kidnapper making a call from a payphone. It’s up to Mannix to find the victim and identify the kidnapper before the deaf woman vanishes too. “In Need of a Friend” uncages John Colicos (Battlestar Galactica‘s Baltar) after being falsely accused of embezzling a million dollars. He wants to find out who set him up and how did Mannix bust him on bogus evidence. Mannix feels bad about this and wants to make it right. Cloris Leachman (Dancing with the Stars) is the ex-con’s ex-wife. Timothy Carey (Paths of Glory) pops up in “The Odds Against Donald Jordan.” The 25 cases on Mannix: The Second Season bring us the broadcast badass.

    American Teen is a documentary that follows a group of seniors at an Indiana High School. It kinda wants to update of what The Breakfast Club kids would be doing in the 21st Century. We get a sense of the social groups that lurk in the cornbelt. The film is most disturbing when you watch kids doing stuff that nobody would want shown in a public light. Do you really want America to see you spray painting offensive language on a house? They also have a guy circulating a nude photo of his ex-girlfriend through the internet. Does he really want her dad knowing that he did it? You might consider sending your kids to a Swiss boarding school after watching American Teen. The DVD is only available at Target.

    MY CHRISTMAS WISH

    That I write something so profound that Megan Fox has it tattooed on her ass.

  • Party Favors: Ring A Ding Ding

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    VIRGINIA CITY – Not every woman working at the Bunny Ranch is an HBO star. You’ll recognize Bunny Love, Air Force Amy and Audrey in the line up, but there’s plenty of fresh faces ready to introduce themselves. These are women who don’t want to bask in the limelight or even have their pics posted on brothel’s website.

    Why be anonymous at the high profile Bunny Ranch? One woman grew up in the area. She always makes sure the local guests don’t recognize her. She has no dream of being a spokesmodel for “Take an Uncle to Work Day.” She won’t arrive at the line up until she checks the security monitor. One night a pack of old high school classmates decided they were going to party in the parlor. She spent the night in her room with a good book. Quite a few women commute from around the country. They appreciate the chance to earn more cash than pulling extra shifts at Hooters. The folks back home think they’re earning quick bucks cocktail waitressing at Reno casinos.

    Hollywood always likes to push the prostitute character as either dim or a streetwise cookie. A majority of the Bunnies we spent time with were well educated. Many of them had not even worked as strippers. They’re smart enough to know there’s little point in shaking your breasts in a guy’s face while hanging on a pole for a dollar.

    People will always ponder what drives a smart woman into prostitution. After quite a few informal chats, I deduced one common thread: Student loans. Many of the women had graduated from very influential schools. They were stuck owing over $100,000 plus for a liberal arts degree that sounded great, but could barely land a gig at Barnes and Noble. One had a degree in social work that after a five year career, left her living under the poverty line. They needed an economic boost that waitressing doesn’t offer. A person can only handle so many extra jobs before they question the point of living if your waking hours are spent punching the clock and getting deeper in debt.

    Currently Dennis Hof has Natalie Dylan offering up her virginity to pay for her grad school. Alana Love is 7 months pregnant and eager to take on clients to wipe the slate on her pharmaceutical school loan and afford to be a stay at home mom. Ivy League schools ought to offer Prostitution as a minor for the non-trust fund kids. There was a recent high school graduate who had chosen working at the Bunny Ranch as her career goal when she was 14 after seeing the first HBO America Undercover special. She’s saving up for school.

    Our hostess for Saturday evening was Danielle Luciano. She had returned to the Ranch after taking a few years off. During her first tenure, she was a low profile Bunny. Nobody in her family knew that she did this for a living. When she decided to get back in the business, she came out to her close family members. She wanted to be able to put her photos up on the website and help with publicity events without worrying about a nosey aunt finking her out to dad. Turns out that it wasn’t a traumatic revelation. The family knew about HBO series and didn’t have any problems with her working at that brothel.

    Danielle was very open when it came to talking about her profession. While there is a gym at the Bunny Ranch compound, her most important exercise routine is Kegels. A Bunny has to be tight and rocking all over. Since my wife had come along on the trip to act as producer and Bunny wrangler (although mostly she wrangled me), the subject of threesomes was inevitable. Many of the Bunnies are gay for pay. If your wife is ready for her first threesome, you don’t want a woman who isn’t fully enthusiastic about the fun. You can’t afford the afterglow to be ruined by your wife declaring, “That was more for you than me.” You want her blissed out and drooling from all the attention. You want this to be a do-over moment. While you might have your dreamy third partner picked out, let your wife do the choosing. Odds are she’ll find the Bunny who will know how to equally divide her attention. Using our journalistic skills, we were able to observe that Danielle’s tip really worked. She’s very knowledgeable when it comes to couples play.

    During breakfast, we hung out with Max. She’s best known for playing naked chess on Cathouse. She believes that a majority of men want princesses when they ring the buzzer. They want to spend time with the woman that’d be unapproachable in a normal social setting. Max doesn’t think a woman should smoke a cigarette or drink out of a beer bottle while lounging near the bar. What’s the point of coming to the Bunny Ranch to hit on a woman they could find in any Nevada honky tonk? She told us about a guy who was a major fan of Cathouse and wanted to hook up with one of the leading ladies. Upon arrival, he saw her by the bar sucking down a longneck and puffing away on a Virginia Slim. The image turned him off. He didn’t even approach his intended Bunny. Instead he found a lady in the parlor that impressed him and spent $5,000 for a night long party. Further proof that smoking is bad.

    While Max thinks that a Bunny can elevate her career by doing adult material, the Bunny has to be careful of the genre. Do the wrong film and she’s no longer considered a high dollar date. What hedgefund manager wants to spend $10,000 to hook up with a woman who stars in hobo gangbang videos? Guys don’t like to think about who’s been with her before them. Even less men want to know that they’re getting Boxcar Willie Jr’s sloppy fifty-thirds. I came to trust Max’s opinions since she only works by appointment.

    We come to the final two video segments of The Party Favors interview with Dennis Hof. Ron Howard has dropped out of the bidding war for Hof/Corey. All we have left is Roger Corman and a VHS-only operation out of Brussels. Corman promises I can play myself if I’m flame resistant. Otherwise he’s calling Clint Howard.

    Our talk picks up with the cliffhanger of how Dennis went to an extreme to legally smoke pot. The topic changes to how he feels when he sees pimps and madames being busted outside of Nevada. Learn about Dennis’s relationship with Heidi Fleiss. Dennis discusses the new episodes of Cathouse on HBO (best found at the HBO OnDemand channel). He plugs the boxset containing the first two seasons and the musical of the show. He explains the educational value of the series. We dip into the new trends in what clients want to enjoy during their visits. Plus legendary boxer Butterbean is coming to the Bunny Ranch, but not the same way as porn stars Sunny Lane and Anna Mills.

    Seeing how Ron Jeremy is rumored to be Jewish, the Golden Nugget Casino won’t accept wagers on his chances to beat Butterball for the last pork chop.

    The final segment features exterior shots as we show off the area around the Ranch and the changes to the Brothel. There’s a Pony Express stop on the property. As a warning: Moonlight Benny’s is a real body shop and not a brothel. None of the selections the receptionist offers are euphemisms. The full service does involve paint and a hammer. Dennis discusses how the gift shop helps lure the curious into being full service guests. You can even buy his special hot sauce at any hour.

    After the interview with Dennis wrapped up, Brooke Taylor arrived. She’d been in New York City to appear on a variety of shows including Tyra. Brooke has had a strange career path. Her life at that Ranch had been fully documented by HBO. America got to see her first day on the job. We were there when she popped her professional cherry. Because of her performance on Cathouse: The Musical, Brooke has performed at the Filmore West and the House of Blues. She became the centerfold in Hustler at the same time Marie Claire did a profile piece on her. She’s a very busy woman who still has time to lay back and enjoy her day job.

    The sad fate of Isabella Soprano weighed heavily on my questions. I wanted to know what kept Brooke Taylor stable. She invited us into her bedroom and we turned on the camera.

    Brooke explains things that a woman needs to know before she considers a life at the Ranch. Remember to practice negotiations before you arrive in Carson City. I end up asking Brooke how strange it is that she went to college to study music, but received her big break while working in a brothel. This is a path that your college career counselor never discuss.

    Thus we come to the end of the Party Favors visit to the Bunny Ranch. We’d like to thank Dennis Hof, Madame Suzette, Brooke Taylor, Max, the charming staff and the extremely rocking Danielle Luciano for their hospitality.

    WIN SOME SWING

    CBS DVD has been nice enough to let 5 of my faithful readers win copies of Swingtown: The First Season. The DVD will be released on Dec. 9. Normally I’d have you email in your name and address and five randomly chosen folks would win. But since Swingtown has been a favorite of this column, we’re having a quiz. In addition to sending in your name and address, you must answer these three questions about the show:

    What star of Swingtown filmed a scene for a movie I produced?
    According to the Party Favors, what series now features Grant Show’s pornstache?
    What did Dennis Hof and I say about Swingtown during the Hof/Corey interview?

    If you have these answers, drop me an email at mokaha@aol.com by Dec. 14. You must be 18 and allow 4-6 weeks to get your prize. My parents, co-workers, Anson Williams and Grant Show’s pornstache are not allowed to enter. Enclosing Polaroids that your parents sent to swingers magazines in 1976 won’t help you win, but they will be appreciated by our judges. Thanks once more to CBS for making a few of my readers be winners this holiday season.

    In case you’re curious about the show, there’s a proper review in The DVD Shelf section.

    DINING TIP

    If you’re in Carson City, drop by Ti Amo in the Casino Fandango. The Seafood Lasagna still makes me drool. There’s plenty of shrimp, lobster, crab and scallops between the layers of noodles. It reheats nicely for when you need extra fuel for playing the Happy Days penny slots. Did I mention that Anson Williams cost me $2.38? Damn that Potsie.

    VEGAS EATS

    When you plan on visiting Las Vegas, skip the Strip and head to Fremont Street. There’s a friendly vibe downtown. My favorite place to snack on the street was Mermaid’s Casino. The slot palace offers up 99 cent Nathan’s hotdogs, deep fried Twinkies and deep fried Oreos. What makes the little grill in the back extra special is the staff is just bouncing around to the music on the PA system. The folks seemed like they were being pumped full of oxygen. They gave off enough energy to revive me from my Potsie downfall. I couldn’t help but smile and bounce around while waiting for my chocolate covered frozen banana. The Mermaid’s Casino is truly old school since they have change cups unlike that cheapskate Steve Wynn’s new casino: Redundant.

    LEARN FROM MY PAIN

    A little tip for business and tech people: When a person on the internet advertises that they’re proficient in CBT, this normally doesn’t mean Computer Based Training. Do not invite them to your office for a presentation.

    JOE THE ZILCHER

    John McCain screwed up and it cost me my ambassadorship to Hawaii. The position is still on the books at the State Department. You think the feds ever eliminate a gig? There’s still a Department of Buggywhip Inspection. My destiny of being Ambassador to the land of Don Ho was screwed by Joe the Plumber. When John McCain needed a Joe to prop up his campaign, he refused to call me. I’m a real Joe. As we know by now, Joe the Plumber is really a guy named Sam. Those of us named Joe take the business of being a Joe seriously. If your first name isn’t Joe, you’re not a Joe. It’s that simple. Jesus didn’t go by his middle name (which I think was Joe). John McCain ticked off the International Brotherhood of Joes and cost me my chance to operate out of Jack Lord’s old palace office. Let this be a lesson to all those in America that when you need a Joe, you come to a Joe and not a dofus named Sam.

    MSNBC needs to fix their Joe crisis. When Joe Scarbough goes on vacation, they need a guest host named Joe to host Morning Joe. Mika Brzezinski and Willie Geist aren’t Joes. Neither is that Mike Barnicle guy. I’m not even sure if he’s really a Mike since he comes off as a Gary. MSNBC needs to understand that when you advertise a Joe, you better have a backup Joe ready to go. It can’t be that hard of a job unless you have to wax Pat Buchanan’s back during the commercial breaks.

    THE DVD SHELF

    A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! is as great as advertised. This is the greatest Christmas special since Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special. The premise is simple: a ruthless bear has trapped Colbert in his cabin. He can’t get to New York to host his Christmas special with Elvis Costello. The holiday festivities come to him with truly an all-star cast without any faux-stars with E! reality shows. Toby Keith has confused me. The guy was a big turn off with his Karl Rove approved anthems. But on this special, Keith gives a hilarious song about what he’ll do to defend Christmas. John Legend performs the sexiest song about nutmeg. Jon Stewart brings a little Old Testament holiday wishes. Willie Nelson’s fourth wiseman song will never be sung at a Catholic Church’s midnight mass. Feist is angelic on all levels. You’ll probably wonder why you need the DVD when this special is being repeated on Comedy Central right now. The DVD has bonus features. You get a video Yule Log that gets an extra flame boost from books. There’s even a Colbert Advent calendar that’s better than the one your Aunt Eunice gave you. Plus be thrilled by the alternate endings. Your Christmas isn’t complete unless you give all your friends A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!

    Swingtown: The First Season gives a strange bit of hope that last summer’s series might be back for a second round of hanky-panky. Molly Parker and Lana Parrilla put the Bi into Bicentennial with this short season that centered around the 4th of July in 1976. The 13 episodes explore what happens when a normal married couple move to wild side of Chicago. Parker (Deadwood) and Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean) discover their neighbors are swingers. Parrilla is an ex-stewardess who knows how to tighten more than a seatbelt. Pilot Grant Show (Melrose Place) plays second banana to an amazing pornstache. The couples boogie down, but guilt grabs Parker and Davenport. They’re not sure if they’re cut out to cut loose. There’s also the issue of their daughter hooking up with her summer school teacher. Oddly enough that while the action takes place 32 years ago, the morality brigade went nuts over CBS running the series. But there’s nothing on this show that isn’t part of an afternoon soap opera. The DVD has a few bonus features including a blooper reel. They didn’t include the ’60s record deal commercial hosted by Peter Fonda. If the DVD does well and the show grabs a couple end of the year awards, Swingtown might be back next summer. This might be the perfect Christmas gift for the neighbors you want to covet in a group plan.

    Man On Wire is a bold, death-defying examination of Phillipe Petit’s illegal wire walk between the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers in 1974. The film mixes recreation footage with the actual coverage of the historic day. They show Petit’s previous walks between Notre Dame Cathedral and the Sydney Harbor Bridge. He’s like an outlaw version of the Flying Wallendas. The execution of securing the wire between the buildings is more exciting than any scheme in the lame Ocean’s Eleven films. While the documentary should be the celebration of a daredevil’s spirit, there is sadness. How can a viewer not get misty eyed seeing the Towers still erect? Michael Nyman’s music from The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover plays during a section showing the Towers being constructed. And it hits how temporary this massive structure became. You need to watch this film twice – once for the Towers and another for Petit. Man On Wire is compelling cinema that pulls us into Petit’s passion to accomplish this outrageous feat. Man on Wire and The Dark Knight are the films that mark 2008.

    Happy Days: The Fourth Season brought the word Mallachi Crunch to sports. “Fonzie Loves Pinky” was an epic three parter. Howard’s lodge is hosting a demolition derby. Part of the entertainment is female motorcycle daredevil Pinky Tuscadero. While the Fonz is favored to win the derby, he has to worry about the Mallachi brothers. They’re notorious for a move where they smash a car on both sides at once. During the episode Fonz falls hard for Pinky. But before he can marry her, they have to survive the Derby. As a kid, these episodes were more terrifying than when Fonzie jumped the garbage cans in season three. Pat Morita returns for “The Graduation.” During the end of school dance, Anson Williams jumps on stage and unloads a not even close to the 1950s ballad. How come you can’t find any Anson Williams records outside of a 45 on ebay and the show’s theme? Why aren’t there bootlegs of Anson Williams live at the Whiskey A-Go-Go? “Fonzie’s Baptism” brings the Fonz to Jesus. Wasn’t this a Family Guy episode? Happy Days: The Fourth Season was the final year before it “jumped the shark.”

    Petticoat Junction: The Official First Season is the link between The Beverly Hillbillies and Green Acres. The action takes place at the Shady Rest Hotel that’s on the rail line near Hootersville. The place is run by Bea Benaderet (Jethro’s mother) and her three really hot daughters. They’re all a handful for the quiet community. The first few episodes have the immortal Charles Lane swearing to shut down the steam locomotive. Bea does her best to have him forget about it. Many of the Green Acres characters are also on this show including Sam Drucker (Frank Cady) running the general store. Adam West (Batman) plays the doctor on “My Daughter the Doctor” and “Hootersville VS Hollywood.” It’s amazing that this show ran for seven seasons, but never received the rerun action of its sister shows. The DVD includes the old commercials starring the cast. This first season has 38 episodes Southern hospitality.

    Beverly Hills 90210: The Sixth Season is a must see for old timers who feel pangs of nostalgia when they catch promos for 90210 on the CW. The action on this boxset took place for 1995-96. The shocker of the season is Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth) becomes a junky. She was the original Amy Winehouse. Who could imagine sweet little Kelly snorting up blow like an English supermodel? Donna (Tori Spelling) has to break with an abusive boyfriend. Dylan (Luke Perry) is ready to wed. Does this mean he’ll leave the show? I’m not giving it away. For many, this was the clutch season of heartbreak and triumph. For Steve (Ian Ziering), this was the year he joined AARP.

    Cannon: Season One, Volume Two brings Leif Garrett back to the column. “Death Is a Double Cross” has Cannon riding the train to protect a millionaire’s wife and two children. Leif and Dawn Lyn are the kids. Lyn is best remembered as Dodie, the adopted daughter on My Three Sons. Turns out she’s also Leif’s sister. “”Treasure of San Ignacio” puts Cannon on the trail of thieves who rob a church’s artifacts. “To Kill a Guinea Pig” brings us the always creepy Geoffrey Lewis (who is not Robert Pine) to horrify Vera Miles (Psycho). She’s running a drug study at a prison. Lewis’ boss wants a certain inmate to be part of the program. Only Cannon can help her from this evil web. Even with his huge gut, William Conrad is still physical in scenes. He moves pretty well for a hefty guy. He’s got 13 clients on this boxset that need his expert detective help.

    Jake and the Fatman: Season One, Volume Two means you’re getting a double dose of William Conrad fighting crime. This time he has help with Jake (Joe Penny) doing the heavy lifting. The big highlight of the second half of the first season is watching David Soul choking the life out of his wife on “How Long Has This Been Going On?” How can the star of Starsky and Hutch be so vicious? He’s a Yacht Rock superstar. Of course discovering your wife is banging a priest might get a man upset. He frames the priest, but Jake doesn’t buy it since he’s pals with the padre. Speaking of hall of fame creepy character actors, Joseph Ruskin is a mobster in “After You’ve Gone.” Did you know he’s the only actor to have appeared on every Star Trek live action TV show? “Lady Be Good” also has a Trekkie connection with Nana Visitor (DS9) killing a rich guy while he was staging his own death. Even though Conrad is slow to move and looks like he sleeps in his office, he knows how to solve a case. He didn’t get to be Los Angeles District Attorney by looking good on posters.

    Perry Mason: Season 3, Volume 2 allows us to once more see America’s greatest TV lawyer in action. Raymond Burr accepts 14 more clients in this boxset. “The Case of the Slandered Submarine” allows him to visit a military court. There’s a few bodies connected to the testing of a high tech device. “The Case of the Singing Skirt” has a bunch of illegal actions taking place at a legal casino. The owner decides to set up a worker for the fall. But she does the smartest thing a you can do: hires Perry Mason to prove her innocence. “The Cast of the Prudent Prosecutor” has D.A. Hamilton Burger begging Perry to defend a pal. How much did that have to hurt Burger to get assistance from the man who kicks his ass almost every week in the courtroom? The picture quality is still stunning on these transfers. Just remember that anything you see in an episode of Perry Mason can’t be used on the Bar exam.

    The Mod Squad: Season 2, Volume 1 unleashes the grooviest crime fighting trio. Pete (Michael Cole), Linc (Clarence Williams III) and Julie (Peggy Lipton) are still the mystery unit run by the Captain (Tige Andrews). “Lisa” has them protecting Carolyn Jones (Morticia from The Addams Family) from a mysterious hitman. The most obvious suspect is Joseph Ruskin. The Squad suspect Carolyn isn’t telling them her whole story. “Ride the Man Down” has them meet Richard Anderson (The Six Million Dollar Man‘s Oscar Goldman) after Pete gets nailed with murder charges. “The Healer” has a homicidal quack loose in the urban jungle. Dwayne Hickman (Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine) rubs elbows with Julie. Linc gets to fall in love again during “To Linc – With Love.” The object of his affection is a DMV instructor has a dark past. What could be darker than working for the DMV? The Mod Squad is still the coolest because Peggy Lipton makes me melt.

    Gunsmoke: The Third Season, Volume 1 is perhaps your best quickie gift for Grandpa. Who didn’t grow up with their old man watching Matt Dillon cleaning up Dodge City? The series at this point is still black and white and only 30 minutes long. “Jesse” has my favorite plot of a son showing up in Dodge City ready to gundown the man who shot his daddy. Sadly this does not star Dennis Hopper. “Romeo” lets Robert Vaughn (Man From UNCLE) get romantic with a land baron’s daughter. Daddy isn’t happy and takes it out on the town. “Doc’s Reward” shows he can handle a gun like a scalpel. He puts a slug in Jack Lord. But in a shocking twist, Lord returns for his revenge. Fans of The Dick Van Dyke Show will get a thrill with Rose Marie in “Twelfth Night” and Morey Amsterdam in “Joe Phy.” Jack Klugman (Quincy) rides the range in Buffalo Hunter. He’s poaching on Indian land so the Sheriff has to do something that’s tantamount to murder!

    Rawhide: The Third Season, Volume 2 reminds us that there was time when Clint Eastwood’s face didn’t look like a Francis Bacon portrait. Clint is youthful and not even in charge of the drovers. He keeps the cows moving as they cross paths with other stars. “Incident of the Running Iron” has one of them accused of rustling. Dwayne Hickman is part of the family that holds his fate. John Cassavetes (Killing of a Chinese Bookie) gets heated up during “Incident Near Gloomy River.” He’s been courting a woman who has eyes for his brother. “Incident of His Brother’s Keeper” puts Jack Lord (Hawaii Five-O) in a wheelchair. He gets nasty when Sheb Wooley takes his woman dancing. The Lord versus Clint should pay-per-view. Star Trek fans will get to see Spock vs. Clint during “Incident Before Black Pass.” “Incident of the Lost Idol” has Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) bounty hunting. Rawhide‘s extensive outdoor shooting makes it play more like a short movie than just a normal TV Western.

    Bachelorman is a romantic comedy starring David DeLuise (Dom’s son) as a guy who knows what women need cause he worships them. He’s the second coming of The Tao of Steve with Donal Logue’s trainer. He gets involved with his neighbor (Josie and the Pussycats‘s Missi Pyle) only to discover she’s not a one night stand. Can he muster the energy to remain a swinging single? Blake Clark gets work without Adam Sandler writing the check. Clyde Kusatsu (Midway) plays the sushi making neighbor. He’s been in tons of shows over the years. Fans of naughty things on the internet will get to ogle Kira Reed. Bachelorman allows Missi Pyle to use her comic muscles for longer than her short time on Soul Plane. There are quite a few useful tips given off by DeLuise. The DVD contains the complete promo for TesteFlex.

    Mister Foe is an unnerving piece of cinema from Scotland. Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot) has become a voyeur in the wake of his mother’s death. He suspects that his father’s new wife (Mallrats‘ Claire Forlani) killed her. Dad (Rome‘s Ciaran Hinds) tries to be understanding of his son’s weirdness. However the son’s peeping tom hobby is driving him nuts. It’s quite shocking to see Claire play a wicked stepmother. Her sweet face can turn diabolical. The weirdness get kicked up a notch when stepmother goes Cinemax After Dark on her stepson. Is she distracting him or just a slut? This is another small film that you’ll need to watch on your TV screen.

    Hancock was such a big piece of crap that Stephen Sommers ought to have his name on him. The first half has a weird potential with Will Smith as Abel Ferrara with superpowers. Although the idea of super sperm nearly killing a woman was an old “why Superman has to pull out of Lois Lane” joke. Jason Bateman trying to clean him up was OK. When we get the plot twist with Charlize Theron, I thew up in my popcorn. Why did I think this film wouldn’t blow chunks with the star of The Wild Wild West, I Am Legend and Bad Boys II? Cause I’m a cockeyed optimist.

    Horton Hears A Who proves you can make a feature length film out of a Dr. Seuss book that doesn’t get annoying like the dreadful live action Grinch and Cat in the Hat flicks. Horton goes CGI which allows them to truly explore Dr. Seuss’ illustrations without merely adapting them to human form. Horton the elephant discovers a whole world living on a speck. Everyone thinks he’s nuts including the mayor of Whoville. The Whoville folks don’t think they’re on a speck. Horton wants to put the speck in a safe place outside of his vicious jungle domain. It’s an action heavy flick with animals out to take down the weird elephant. Jim Carrey as Horton and Steve Carell as the Mayor play well of each other with their voice work. These guys should host a talkradio show. There’s enough adult level humor to make this worth watching with the kids. The DVD has tons of bonus features about the CGI work and vocal booth weirdness. You can even create your own animation. They tossed in a digital copy of the film so you can watch it on your iPod.

    IN CASE I FORGET

    Remember to have a great Festivus this year.

    Charo has been saved for the Christmas column! Prepare to be coochie-coochie-cooooed!