FRED Entertainment

March 26, 2008

Toy Box: Harvey Dent In Your Town – Or At Least Mine

Filed under: Toy Box — admin @ 12:04 am

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Back in the good old days, politicians traveled the country to drum up support. These trips, often by train and then later by bus, were the ideal opportunity to drum up grass roots support. When television and the Internet came along, much of the value was lost, although politicians still rack up the frequent flyer miles.

So how do you add some spicy marketing to a new movie today? Why not combine the old time thrill of the traveling politician with the current Internet viral marketing process? That’s what Warner Brothers has done for the new Batman flick – The Dark Knight. Harvey Dent is in this second film in the current franchise, played by always smooth and political Aaron Eckhart. To help promote the film, they put together a campaign for Harvey, which is supported by a very well done website at isupportharveydent.com. For one week or so, the ‘Dentmobile’ traveled across the U.S., stopping in various towns (especially college towns) to hand out t-shirts, bumper stickers, and other goodies so that you can show your support for the DA of Gotham City and his fight to take back the city.

I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan, a town blessed by not one but TWO large universities. You couldn’t get a town more ripe for this sort of nerdfest, and the promoters knew it, scheduling three separate stops around town. At 11am, I headed over to the Briarwood Mall, the first stop on their route around the city. Now, while Warner Brothers knew AA was a town to hit, apparently the Briarwood Mall didn’t see the value. They booted them off the property, but the Dentmobile found a home in the furniture store parking lot connected to the Mall parking lot anyway.

Being the intrepid reporter that I’m not, I managed to forget my camera. However, a fellow Dent supporter named Daniel Pearson was kind enough to take some exceptional shots and allow me to use them. Thanks, Daniel!

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Once they had the logistics worked out, the folks in the van started setting up and handing out goodies. There was the usual stickers, buttons, signs, and t-shirts, and they even had the t-shirts in multiple sizes, rather than the usual “I got any size you want as long as it’s XL” routine.

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A quick word about the weather – we were freezing our asses off. March in Michigan is a weird month. The weather varies wildly, with unseasonable warm and unseasonably cold days more common than average temperature days. Unfortunately for us Michiganders, the whole month has been unseasonably cold, with no real break. Last Friday, when temps in the 50’s wouldn’t have been unusual, it was closer to 30 with a nasty wind chill. Not really weather for standing out in the parking lot in your new free t-shirt.

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Just to keep things lively, a few of the Joker’s supporters showed up as well, all carrying protest signs of their own. My favorite was “Dent is Two Faced”, but they were all amuzing in their own right.

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Both the Dentmobile folks and the Joker supporters did a fine job remaining in character, even partaking in a bit of the playful banter. Earlier the Brinks truck was making the rounds at the mall, but unfortunately the Joker henchmen weren’t there at the same time. Brink’s guards carting large sacks of money out of the building while guys wearing white covers over their faces cavorted around them would have made for a potentially amusing situation.

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The Dentmobile guys rallied people to show their support, waving their signs as cars went by. Okay, so a mall parking lot on a Friday morning isn’t exactly Grand Central Station, but they managed to get a few honks.

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They also had us signing petitions, and some of the folks represented larger groups who had already signed petitions that they were delivering. All in the name of taking back Gotham City! They didn’t want to discuss the vigilante Batman…

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All in all, it seemed like a relative success. I got a free t-shirt, as well as a nifty sign to hang in my office. Sure, it makes absolutely no real sense – why would a guy running for DA in some city be traveling the country, when your vote doesn’t count? – but they aren’t trying to get votes, they’re trying to get ticket sales. And who knows, perhaps Dent and his running for office has far more to do with the actual plot of the film than we realize now. I know I’ll be there on opening day…but being the Bat-whore I am, I didn’t really need a free t-shirt to convince me to do that.

Since you never know how these things might turn out, I made sure I smoozed up the Joker henchmen as well…

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So remember, believe in Harvey Dent! He’s going to take back Gotham City…or at least help Warner Brothers make a hundred million bucks or so.

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Opinion In A Haystack: Mad Maxine Plissken

Filed under: Opinion In A Haystack — admin @ 12:03 am

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The following may contain *****SPOILERS***** for the following films: Doomsday, Into The Wild, Southland Tales

One of the oddest feelings in the life of a moviegoer is when you know a movie is awful, but you can’t help but love it anyway. This is what the term “guilty pleasure” refers to. However, I am a member of the camp that loathes that term; our motto is “IF YOU LIKE IT, LIKE IT, NO GUILT REQUIRED.” Please believe me when I say I love a lot of awful movies. Movies that even I will admit are just downright muck (still don’t feel guilty.) I like watching Bad Boys, Armageddon, and Troll 2, but there is no way in hell I’m going to say they’re “good.” However, I am one of those outcasts who also loves unjustly excommunicated films that no one ever gave a chance. I will not only defend the likes of Last Action Hero, but will go on the offensive and actually prove its merit as a genius satire of the 80s/90s action movie scene. Once again, no guilt consumes me at all. If anything, I take pride in defending such movies. This brings me to a few words on Doomsday.

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It’s a bad movie. It moves at a silly-fast pace, the narrative is stuck together with watery chewing gum, and God only knows who the intended audience is supposed to be. The plot, as if it needed to be explained, revolves around a virus breaking out in Scotland which is sealed off from the rest of the planet. Years later, the government sends in a female version of Snake Plissken to find the cure for the virus, which she only has 48 hours to do until her team is left for dead. It’s a bad movie. Yet, I liked it. Though, my positive feelings toward the flick are not that of a normal nature. Doomsday is kind of writer/director Neil Marshall’s John Carpenter/George Miller fan film that just so happens to have made it into theaters. I don’t even know if I am comfortable calling it a homage or a satire, I much prefer the term “fan film” for this movie. The reason being that while watching it I felt the whole time like Marshall was just saying “hey, I worship Escape from NY and The Road Warrior! check out my version, dude!!!”

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The similarities are so thick between Doomsday and those two films that honestly I don’t know why he did not just title it Mad Maxine Plissken Escapes from Glasgow. Our main heroine, Eden, starts out the movie with an eye patch for fuck’s sake, dressed nigh identical, to Kurt Russell’s Plissken. The villain, Sol, was an exact representation of the younger version of Vernon Wells’s character from The Road Warrior. There was even a character named “Carpenter.” Like I said above, who in the hell is the audience for this thing? I couldn’t imagine anyone that didn’t grow up on a firm diet of John Carpenter or George Miller’s MAX trilogy seeing this and not just passing it off as garbage. Hence, it’s completely a fan film, from the Escape from NY title font, to its awesome Carpenter-style-synth music, right down to the blatantly similar Mad Max car chase scene. It is simply like one hardcore 80’s sci-fi/horror action geek ejaculating all over the screen. A screen probably being viewed by people too young to recognize the warm globs of classic films oozing southbound.

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Luckily for me, I, much like Neil Marshall, worship Mr. Carpenter and grew up on a solid diet of The Road Warrior. Thus, I just answered my own question. I am the audience. The problem with that being that fellow lovers of these old films could react in two ways: either like me, or in complete rage over someone ripping off material from older, better, classics. My mind never instantly jumped to the words “rip-off” and the only explanation is Neil Marshall’s track record. His werewolf movie Dog Soldiers is solid as hell, and The Descent was one of the coolest horror flicks I had seen in the past decade. Perhaps my love of his résumé gave me the positive spin I needed going into Doomsday, because without that I might have thought it was just hackneyed slop. Another theory that was boiling in my brain is that he was trying to do a Tarantino and take all the best parts of old films he loves and make a Frankenstein creation out of them and his own oeuvre. In this case, just change Quentin’s love of 70’s kung fu/exploitation schlock to Neil Marshall’s love of 80’s sci-fi/horror. Though, perhaps due to way too much direct homage and frenzied cliché camera work, he never quite makes Doomsday the Kill Bill triumph that I (and probably he) wish it was. As a fan film, it’s fucking genius. As a film, it’s just lukewarm poop. I am going to give Marshall the benefit of the doubt and say that he is fully aware of the film he has made and it’s place in the pantheon of homage, satires, and spoofs”¦also acknowledging that the classics he has intentionally aped from are much better then anything he could have ever hoped to accomplish with Doomsday. Viva La John Carpenter.

Into The Wild

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It warms and chills my heart knowing this film is based on a true story. A masterful work, directed by Spiccoli himself, about a young student named Chris McCandless, who abandons all his money, family, and possessions so he can live in the wilderness. Some people would say it’s a journey to find himself, however I say it’s a journey to save himself from the lies he sees around him. Emile Hirsch does an amazing job here, playing Chris as a kid too smart for those in his life, but aware enough to know he hasn’t got it all figured out. Hence why he leaves the life that his parents, materialistic social nightmares caught in a loveless marriage, are trying to guide him toward. He packs up, gives all his money to charity and just disappears.

They make good note of the fact that he is on the rather intelligent side. He has the opportunity to succeed in the academic and business world, yet is obviously disgusted, or possibly more confused, by the shallow nature of it all. This is obvious from the get-go when he is almost insulted that his parents offer to buy him a new car so he doesn’t have to drive around in his old piece of junk. He reacts with outrage toward them for even suggesting it, not because he is spoiled, but because he sees no need to fix what isn’t broken, nor does he understand his parent’s, or society’s, obsession with aesthetics. He goes on a journey to the wilderness, heading for Alaska, meeting folk along the way, but ultimately on a one-way ticket to be alone with nothing but trees and sky to keep him company. He ends up shacking up in an abandon bus in the middle of nowhere, only to die alone from starvation.

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Depressing? Yes. However, he learns the two truths about life. One, Society is nothing more then an illusion that dampens the mind and kills the soul. Two, sadly that (society) is the greatest resource for the one thing all of us need the most”¦other people. It’s a very long movie, very quiet, yet beautifully directed. Nothing is overly stylistic. Hell, even the simplistic title font (Arial?) is in keeping with McCandless’s entire lifestyle. I can honestly say that no movie in such a long time, perhaps with the exception of the ending of Clerks 2, has spoke to me on such a direct, agreeable level. This is a film for any one that is frustrated with those around them that don’t seem to get the fact that this is all just a big chunk of fabrications and falsities. It’s for people that look at a building and see a bunch of walls stuck together with nails, or a car as just a structured pile of metal, glass and rubber. It’s a film for anyone that questions from a young age if gold, diamonds, or money are actually worth something or is it just because we humans have place value on them. I realize that might be a little out there, but if you watch the movie you should get the gist of what I’m blabbering about. For a similar foray into the same type of material, try the Albert Brooks’ classic Lost In America, which is based on Easy Rider. It’s easier on length, it’s a comedy, and the ending isn’t as heart wrenching. Sean Penn has done a masterful job here. It succeeds as a film, a message, and most of all, a beautiful tribute to an interesting, clear-minded man.

Southland Tales

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Wikipedia defines “glory hole” as

A glory hole (also spelled gloryhole and glory-hole) is a hole in a wall, or other partition, often between public lavoratory stalls or video booths for men to engage in sexual activity

A former co-worker once described to me why he loved David Lynch movies. I guess he felt as though he had to defend liking movies that made almost no sense to the common person. He said “Bob, if I walk into a public bathroom and see a glory hole, then proceed to stick my penis in the glory hole, then just wait and exist in that moment of wonderment where I either could get my dick sucked or get castrated”¦that is what it feels like to watch a Lynch film.” Odd as that statement may seem, I totally got what he was saying, and subsequently enjoyed Mulholland Dr. all the more because of it. I honestly love movies that are a labyrinth of storytelling, even when they go nowhere. I dug Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko for that very reason. I guess what I’m saying is I love glory hole films. A lot of people don’t, which is understandable, but there’s some pleasure in being able to pen in your own meaning behind a movie. If you can go back and think of what it meant, it kind of makes you feel smarter then you know you are, or you’ve figured something out that no one else has. These movies have their audience, and their merit. Often, in the case of Lynch or Cronenberg, they are beautifully shot, edited, and if anything, encompass the total and complete vision of their masters. No studio heads trudging around stomping on all the wonderful weird that they loathe oh so much.

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Writer/director Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales is most certainly a glory hole. The problem is that it’s so small that anyone who isn’t a newborn can’t use it. The narrative is such a destructive mess that I can barely even give you a synopsis of what happens. It’s about the end of the world, Buffy being a porn star, and two Stiflers being separated souls that come together as one and float an ice cream truck that belonged to Connor Macleod of the Clan Macleod. Oh yeah, and The Rock is in it and he does some vague stuff, and his hands shake a lot, and”¦yeah. It’s a complete mess. It has an amazingly diverse cast, comprised of comedic faces from the B-list of the past 20 years. You even get to see a dead serious, blonde, homicidal Jon Lovitz ask Cheri Oteri if she wants to fuck. Was it supposed to be funny? I wasn’t laughing. All I was doing was standing next to the bathroom stall repeatedly banging my tiny dick against the miniscule glory hole trying to figure out what the hell Kelly was thinking. The movie fails for me in that I have no interest in sitting through it again, I don’t feel the “want” to figure out what it all means, and I really don’t want to talk about it after this sentence.

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Real quick, my top 5 extreme sport’s movies:

5. RAD (1986) ““ Such beautiful schlock. If BMX gets you hot, this movie is the center of the sun!

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4. Side Out (1990) ““ I realize that there could be a strong debate on whether or not volley ball is an “extreme sport.” Either way, this movie SERVES up the action. What? You think of a better pun.

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3. Thrashin’ (1986) ““ Planet Terror and No Country for Old Men have now made this Josh Brolin classic all the more relevant and fun to watch. Not until 300 did this showcasing of male abdominal muscles get surpassed in the confused homosexuality department. It’s so worth a watch if only for the music and the painfully extended skateboarding scenes that were obviously used as time filler.

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2. Airborne (1993) – I legitimately love this movie. It introduced me to Seth Green and Jack Black. The end rollerblading race down the “devil’s backbone” is probably one of the greatest rollerblading achievements in film ever, and the greatest triumph in Elektra director Rob Bowman’s career! Yeah, I guess that really isn’t saying much.

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1. Gleaming the Cube (1989) ““ The greatest skateboarding movie ever made. See Christian Slater ollie over an entire highway on his skateboard. See Tony Hawk drive a pizza truck. Seriously, this movie holds up after time. Great plot, great acting, and some serious 80’s spice really make it work. Also should be a contender for most befuddling tagline in film history: “All he cared about was Gleaming the Cube”¦until the night they killed his brother.”

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That’s all for Column 3, thanks for reading and let me know of any great “extreme sports” movies that you would put on your list.

Win MICHAEL PALIN’S NEW EUROPE on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:02 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with BBC Home Video, five (5) copies of MICHAEL PALIN’S NEW EUROPE on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, April 2nd.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 2nd.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/26/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 25, 2008

Party Favors: Totally Pauly

Filed under: Interviews,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:23 am

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pauly-01.jpgENCINO – They call him the Weasel! And he finally called the Party Favors.

After nearly twenty years since Pauly Shore decimated MTV with his Totally Pauly, he dialed up the Dynamite Massage hotline for a brief chat about his Pauly Shore: Natural Born Komics Sketch Comedy Movie: Miami DVD. This follow up to Pauly Shore Is Dead has him spoofing various reality shows. He also does a Scarface sketch with Steven Bauer as Manny.

The most controversial of the sketches is his impersonation of John McEnroe as a guest star on To Catch A Predator. He has the tennis superstar demanding young women “goober my balls.” Seeing how John is not exactly known as a guy who takes a joke with a hearty laugh, has Pauly heard from McEnroe or his representatives?

“I’m sure I will. I’m sure I’ll hear from everyone,” Pauly said. He didn’t seem scared about the consequences of making the hotheaded Wimbledon champ the star of NBC’s hottest show. “It turns me on comedically to go to unsafe territory. I’m not Jerry Seinfeld.”

We joked about how MSNBC has 24 hour marathons of To Catch A Predator. Does he get sucked into watching the creeps arrive at the house with their teddy bears and condoms? “I watched it when it first came out. Now I’m bored of it. Now it’s its own sitcom,” Pauly declared.

The discussion turned to Predator‘s host, Chris Hansen. We joked about how Chris almost seems heartbroken when the sexual predators aren’t happy to see him instead of the promised 14 year old boy. In this era of public crusaders turning into perverted culprits (like Eliot Spitzer who busted all those call girl rings, but didn’t mind using their services) is there a potential scandal brewing behind Hansen’s own kitchen door? “It’s almost like he’s getting turned on,” Pauly described the host’s confrontations before the cops apprehend the potential child molesters.

Another segment in the show is “Spunk’d” where Pauly twists around MTV’s now canceled Punk’d. We joked about how Ashton Kutcher’s new Pop Fiction series plays with “Spunk’d.”

“I did it first. He stole that idea from me. They all steal from me, but that’s OK,” Paul joked. “What’s he doing on his show is basically what I did on my show which is the opposite of Punk’d. His (series) is a celebrity punking the paparazzi. Mine is a celebrity punking the average person.”

Pauly has a valet fooled into thinking a thief has stolen Charlie Murphy’s car. The stunt goes into overdrive when the fake cops discover Charlie’s stash, but he goes state’s evidence against the valet. Pauly was amazed at how well the stunt worked on the valet. “We got him good. He was crying.”

Pauly swears that over the last decade the swarms of paparazzi photographers swarming Los Angeles has skyrocketed. I joked that the digital revolution has made being a photographer so easy that the folks who used to panhandle the stars are now stalking them with a camera to make a fast buck.

“I wonder how much a picture of Pauly Shore gets them. It couldn’t be that much,” Pauly pondered.

pauly-02.jpgWhile Natural Born Komics spoofs reality shows, Pauly is a veteran of the genre. Minding the Store dealt with him running The Comedy Store. How real was the reality on the show?

“No reality shows are reality,” Pauly declared. “The only one was the Tom Sizemore show where he’s doing crack on the side of the road. Reality shows are based in reality, but it would be horrible to continually shoot someone with no plan. You got to have some sort of structure.”
?Reality shows are the new version of the sit-com except it doesn’t require true comic timing and a studio audience. During our chat we figure the father of this new “realiticom” was Larry David with his improvising “real moments” using a plot outline.

“I think Curb Your Enthusiasm did a good job of a reality kinda sitcom” Pauly said. He hears the pitches of potential star based reality shows. “Everyone is like ‘It’s like Curb.’ No it’s not. Curb is good.”

Does Pauly have any interest in using a reality show to find a new party pal like Paris Hilton is doing? “No. If they’re going to be my party pal, we’re just going to be watching TV. We’re not going to be really doing anything.” Although sitting back and relaxing with Pauly while watching the widescreen action would be a fun evening. Wonder if he has the missing Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp episodes? They could have a challenge of figure out the remote.

Although speaking of actors who come off as apes barely dressed as human; how freakish was Andy Dick when he co-starred with Pauly while making In the Army Now? Was Andy always as insane or has it built over the years?

“I think it definitely has built. When I had him, I had him directly before he became weird. Everyone I work with always turns weird. (After making Bio-Dome,) Stephen Baldwin found Jesus. Andy Dick lost his mind. I probably have something to it,” Pauly conceded.

While critics and academics scoff at Pauly’s cinematic legacy, there’s plenty of women who secretly embrace Son-in-Law as a guilty-pleasure movie. I know one lady who lists it in her Top 10 next to Dirty Dancing and Ever After. “It’s one of those movies that plays and still holds up. It has a lot of heart. It’s a funny movie with great characters. It was a joy to work on. I’m happy that she amongst others are enjoying it. It’s one of those movies that people just enjoy.”

Did his time on location entice Pauly to start up a farm? “Oh no. I’m a city slicker.”

Occasionally you’ll see Pauly Shore appear amongst the guests at Playboy Mansion parties. What’s it like when he enters the house of Hugh Hefner and The Girls Next Door? “It’s like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate House of Pussy,” Pauly described. The curious mind has to ask about the action in the infamous Grotto. Is it still the watery home to debauchery? “Things don’t really go on in there as much. People go in there as a tourist site. People just stare at it instead of participating in it,” Pauly said.

How sad. James Caan must be crying at this news.

Pauly’s hoping to make a second Natural Born Komics movie in Las Vegas. A project he’s currently putting together is Pauly Shore Adopted in which he tries to follow the lead of Madonna and Angelina Jolie. You can follow the progress at Paulyshoreadopted.com.

As Pauly Shore enters his third decade in showbiz, he’s still as wild as ever. You can’t stop the weasel.

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FRIENDLY FESTIVAL

The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival serves up another healthy dose of truthful filmmaking from April 3-6 in Durham NC. Unlike Sundance, you won’t have to stand in a blizzard praying they have enough seats for you after Paris Hilton’s entourage hordes the best views. It’s just a fine dose of Southern Hospitality in the city that brought you Bull Durham. Plus they serve BBQ near the lobby!

There are three biographical films screening this year that I’ll be doing my best to see. Glass: a portrait of Philip in twelve parts is directed by Scott Hicks. You might remember his last movie about a pianist called Shine. It’ll be interesting to see how he captures live piano action. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson focuses on the man who made “Fear and Loathing” a buzz word for reaching political truth through the help of pharmaceuticals. Johnny Depp reads Hunter’s works. Good Ol’ Charles Schulz looks at the man who drew Peanuts for 50 years. I’ll attempt to ask the director if he ever found out what happened to Sherman? Did Patty get pissed off when Peppermint Patti arrived on the scene?

This year’s career award goes to William Greaves. They’ll be screening quite a few of his films including Ralph Bunche: An American Odyssey and Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One. Is Symbiopsychotaxiplasm covered under Blue Cross? The big opening night film is Trumbo. The documentary mixes actors reading the blacklisted screenwriter’s scripts with testimonials.

If you’re in the area, drop by Full Frame. For more info such as parking visit www.fullframe.org. This is the friendliest film festival in America.

DVD SHELF

Father Knows Best: Season One shocks with its purity. How often do you turn on a family sitcom only to be barraged by tons of sex jokes? What do we expect with Charlie Sheen playing a “dad?” But once there was a time in America where parents didn’t talk about sex or drugs or even cussing. Robert Young and Jane Wyatt never worried about improving their orgasms during dinner conversation. The kids weren’t smoking dope and taking Prozac. Nobody feared child predators raping their youngest via internet seduction. Dad lit up a cigarette and nobody complained about cancer. Father knew best because there was no worst lurking outside.

The masters used on this Shout! Factory release came from Robert Young’s estate. This unfortunately means that only half of the episodes are their original running length. What’s amazing is “24 Hours in Tyrantland.” This special episode was to promote buying savings bonds. Dad decides to teach the kids the meaning of freedom by adopting the Soviet mindset. He breaks their souls. There’s also new interviews with the daughters, Elinor Donahue and Lauren Chapin. Father Knows Best is a nostalgic good time for people who want a moment of unreality.

Sweeny Todd gives you a great idea of what Edward Scissorhands: The Musical will look like on Broadway. This was the most bloody musical of the year since Hairspray played it safe by removing the song “Baltimore, City of Grizzly Murders.” Don’t show this to small children in the hopes that they’ll embrace musical theater. Johnny Depp plays the title role of a demon barber who gets his revenge on London by giving them an extra close shave. Helena Bonham Carter helps dispose the bodies and make a tidy profit. The Two-Disc Special Edition features a full disc of behind the scenes featurettes. Learn all the movie magic that went into the meat pies.

There Will Be Blood is Daniel Day-Lewis going into overdrive as a pioneer in the oil drilling business. There’s more to the film than the “I drink your milkshake” catchphrase. Day-Lewis is just shocking as he nearly explodes on the screen. It’s an intense experience. You might lose a filling as he confesses in church. Paul Dano continues his career as becoming the next John Cazale. The two DVD set includes “The Story of Petroleum,” a silent documentary from 1923. There’s also plenty of little bonus shorts dealing with the production and a few deleted scenes. Before you play this disc, go down to Hardee’s for a real milkshake.

NO ONE ESCAPES

Ivan Dixon passed away. Even though he went on to have a very successful career as a director of hour long dramas, he’ll always be Sgt. Kinchloe on Hogan’s Heroes to me. He was the radio operator that spent plenty of time in the tunnels beneath Stalag 13.

Dixon was part of a trio of actors who redefined the role of black males on TV. He, Greg Morris on Mission: Impossible and Mod Squad‘s Clarence Williams III made middle America understand they didn’t have to fear minorities in the office.

If you get a chance, witness Dixon’s amazing work in Nothing But a Man.

Comics in Context #219: Kirby at the Crossroads

Filed under: Comics in Context — admin @ 12:02 am

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cic2008-03-25.jpgJust before Christmas I began my extended commentary on Mark Evanier’s Kirby: King of Comics, his eagerly awaited book that serves as both a biography of Jack Kirby, the greatest adventure and fantasy artist in 20th century American comic books, and as an art book showcasing his work (see “Comics in Context” #207: “Royal Retrospective”), Right after New Year’s I did another installment of this column about the Kirby book, though half of it was actually about the BBC documentary In Search of Steve Ditko (see “Comics in Context” #208: “Creative Differences”). Then I agreed to postpone the rest of my commentary until Harry N. Abrams published the book in late February.

In the meantime I’ve devoted this column to other worthy subjects, such as Bob Clampett (“Comics in Context” #213), Steve Gerber (#214, 215 and 216), Darwyn Cooke (#217), Stephen Sondheim, of all people (#218), and Mephisto’s marriage counseling (#210). But now it’s March, Kirby: King of Comics is in stores, and I’ve received to go-ahead to resume what I consider not so much a review as my series of critical annotations on this landmark book.

Those of you who have read my contribution to the Beat’s annual survey this year know that I am interested in seeing how much coverage Kirby: King of Comics receives in the mainstream media. This would be a useful sign of just how wide and deep the mainstream culture’s new interest in the comics medium actually is.

So far I haven’t found much. But on Sunday March 23 The Washington Post ran a review by novelist Glen David Gold, a Kirby admirer who had already written about him in the catalogue for the “Masters of American Comics” exhibition (see “Comics in Context” #155: “Two American Masters”).

In his review Gold refers to David Michaelis’s recent biography Schulz and Peanuts that portrayed cartoonist Charles M. Schulz as a deeply troubled man (see “Comics in Context” #204: “Was It a Dark and Stormy Life?”). “Evanier, in contrast, presents Kirby as a decent and generous soul with some understandable fits of frustration. . . .but a reader”–by which Gold really means a specific reader, himself–“hungers for something deeper to explain his violent and angry imagery.”

Evanier refers to the nightmares that plagued Kirby after his return from World War II. Alluding to these, Gold continues, “Kirby seems to have had post-traumatic stress disorder after World War II, and I suspect that certain recurrent figures in his artwork came from his unconscious attempt to work out the horror of the battlefield.”

Well, perhaps the last part of the statement is true, although all one need do is look at the Captain America artwork from the early 1940s in Evanier’s book to see that Kirby was already creating explosively violent imagery before he ever entered the army. Gold may be overstating the case by claiming that Kirby had “post-traumatic stress disorder.” Yes, his nightmares were a symptom, but is there any evidence that Kirby’s behavior when he was awake was altered by his war experiences? The National Institute of Mental Health’s website states that people afflicted with this disorder “avoid situations that remind them of the original incident” that induced the severe mental stress. Then why did Kirby continually draw on his war experiences in his stories, as Evanier points out in the book?

On the other hand, Gold may be underrating Kirby’s “fits of frustration” as a source for his anger. In his book Evanier pointedly reprints Kirby’s full-page close-up of an enraged Silver Surfer from Silver Surfer #18 (September 1970) as an expression of the intensity of the feelings that led Kirby to quit Marvel for DC (see Evanier, Kirby: King of Comics, p. 162).

Moreover, I should think that Kirby’s childhood as a gang member on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, continually getting into fights, as Evanier describes in his first chapter, and as dramatized through the book’s reprinting of Kirby’s story “Street Code,” easily provides part of the explanation for the “violence” in Kirby’s comics.

Certainly Kirby, the co-creator of the Hulk must have known what it was like to feel anger, even rage. But to characterize Kirby’s visual imagery as “violent and angry” seems to me misleading. I wonder about the mindsets of various contemporary comics editors, writers and artists who inflict rape, mutilation and murder on longrunning characters. But I never have the sense that Kirby inflicts unwarranted cruelty upon his characters. (Even violence inflicted upon “Terrible” Turpin in The New Gods, unusually brutal for a Kirby book, ultimately serves to heighten the courageous cop’s heroism.) Ben Grimm’s battle cry, “It’s clobbering time!”, is more often than not an expression of joy. There is an exuberance about the heroes’ fight scenes in Kirby’s work, like Douglas Fairbanks or Errol Flynn dueling in swashbuckler movies. Captain America’s action scenes embody the classic American spirit, striving for freedom, triumphing over oppression. Other Kirby heroes may not be explicitly patriotic in theme, but they represent a similar spirit.

Besides, if you pay attention, Kirby doesn’t draw that much actual violence. He characteristically takes an abstract approach to it: he draws a flash of light representing impact, rather than actually showing a fist connecting with a jaw, as we shall see in the course of my commentary.

In other words, whereas recent superhero comics, at their worst, exhibit a sadistic fascination with pain and suffering, Kirby’s comics use images of the human body in action–running, leaping, flying, and even fighting–to convey sheer, uplifting joy. Far from exuding anger, Kirby’s comics communicate a positive outlook on humanity and the prospects for the world.

At the point in Kirby: King of Comics where I left off in January, World War II had ended, and DC Comics’ editorial had lost interest in having anyone–even the brilliant team of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby–act as outside suppliers for them. So, after a few commercial misfires at Harvey, Simon and Kirby launched the romance comic genre by creating Young Romance, which became a tremendous hit. So much for the foresight of the DC bureaucracy circa the late 1940s.

Although Evanier doesn’t make a point of this, the illustrations in this section of the book show that Kirby was rapidly growing as an artist in the postwar years. Look at the stoical face of the figure in the electric chair in the cover from Justice Traps the Guilty #8 (1948) (Evanier p. 73) and the classically handsome build of the half-crouching diver (as a school of fish drift past him, in a lovely grace note) in the cover of Black Magic #189 (1952) (Evanier p. 77).

An impressive page by Kirby and Simon from Boys’ Ranch #2 (1950) (Evanier p. 81) demonstrates their skill in enabling their characters to “act.” One usually thinks of Jack Kirby as drawing situations, emotions and characters that are larger than life, on an operatic scale. But consider the subtlety he shows on this page.

In the second panel a Native American, Running Bear, races from a burning cabin, carrying a white boy he has rescued. There are no words in this panel, nor the speed lines so often used to indicate motion in comics. The figure of Running Bear is positioned as if running, but has a stillness about him as well. His face concealed, pressed against the baby, to shield both the child and himself from the flames, his arms firmly wrapped around the boy, Running Bear seems like an iconic figure of parental concern. Pieces of wood are falling from the cabin, yet they seem to hover around Running Bear, as if time has stood still for a moment as he makes his escape. Rather than give us a conventional look at flames, Kirby takes a nearly abstract approach. as if Running Bear has emerged from a portal of light and shadow. In the right foreground we see the back of another Native American’s head, with his left hand raised, watching. Again, we are shown no facial expressions, and read no dialogue, yet the onlooker’s sense of concern comes across simply from the position of his hand and the tilt of his head. He stands in for the reader, reacting as we should, with a certain awe, to the sight of this heroic rescuer of the child escaping this inferno.

In panel three the rescued child wails silently, venting emotion as openly as an infant, but his rescuer is far more reserved, looking outward, presumably at the burning cabin, as he states that the child’s parents are dead. There is a look of quiet melancholy in hs eyes, reinforced by the darkness beneath his eyebrows and the thin lines indicating shadows along his cheeks.

Running Bear declares he will adopt the white child, but another tribesman insists that he return the boy to the flames. This is a serious clash, but Kirby and Simon continue to underplay effectively: in panel five Running Bear looks grimly at the other Indian, clenching his jaw in quiet anger, as he states, simply but firmly, “I keep the papoose!” Bawling only a moment (and two panels) before, the baby is now quiet, looking warily at the other Indian while seeming comfortable in Running Bear’s grasp, apparently recognizing him as his new protector.

The final panel of the page is a little masterpiece of “acting,” as running Best looks down at his newly adopted son, with parental warmth, the child responds, smiling up at him, and the other Indian watches, his jaw set in a tight frown, clearly resentful of Running Bear’s decision.

Longtime Marvelites may realize that Kirby later restaged this scene of a warrior adopting an orphaned son of his enemies, in the Tales of Asgard story in which Odin found and adopted the infant Loki (in Journey into Mystery #112, 1964).

Then there’s the cover to Simon and Kirby’s war comic Foxhole #1 (1954) (Evanier p. 85). Recently a friend and I were leafing through a copy of Kirby: King of Comics at a bookstore and came across this page, whereupon my friend declared it to be one of the greatest comics covers ever. (In his Washington Post review, Gold says he was stunned by it as well.) In the foreground is a soldier, his face wrapped in bandages, save for one eye, and his mouth, holding a cigarette. The bandages on the side if his head are stained with blood. He wears a helmet with two thick dents caused by bullets. He looks something like DC’s later war comics character, the Unknown Soldier. But the man on the foxhole cover is another of Kirby’s iconic figures, this one representing both the horrors suffered in war and the survivors’ ability to endure. The soldier is writing a letter to his mother, and we see part of it floating above a scene of the aftermath of battle, with corpses on a shore and medics attending a wounded man. The letter provides easy irony: the war is “a day on the beach.” But the soldier isn’t smiling or even looking at what he’s writing. His single eye stares emptily, as if he is lost in his own thoughts about the war, disconnected from the brave, witty front he is putting up for his mother back home. This cover is an entire story in itself.

Simon and Kirby and their studio kept busy and prospered during this period, but Evanier quotes Kirby as saying it was “too good to last” (Evanier p. 80) and it didn’t. I’ve learned from my own experience and observing those of others that when you–and your colleagues–are in a successful period in your life and career, it may seem as if it will last forever, but everything changes, and success can be surprisingly fleeting. Kirby had enough insight to realize this even this early in his career, with greater triumphs and equally great disappointments still lying before him.

Apart from “Street Code,” the only complete story reprinted in Kirby: King of Comics is “The League of the Handsome Devils!” from Simon and Kirby’s Fighting American #2 (1954). Fighting American and Speedboy were variations on Captain America and Bucky: the patriotically-themed hero and his kid sidekick. Evanier points out that by 1954 the superhero genre was mostly “passe.” Indeed, as I noted two weeks ago, except for the Big Three of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, superheroes had virtually vanished from comics, and the superhero phenomenon must have seemed like a passing fad that had run its course. Hence, Simon and Kirby thought that taking a tongue-in-cheek approach might breathe new life into it. However, Evanier points out that “Fighting American. . .just got sillier and sillier, prompting one critic to suggest that Joe and Jack were deliberately screwing with the formula they’d invented, just to see if anyone would notice” (Evanier p. 88).

A sign that a genre has run its course in its current form is when it degenerates into self-parody. Hence, for example, Universal”˜s versions of Dracula and Frankenstein originated in serious horror films in the 1930s, but were reduced to playing villains to Abbott and Costello by the late 1940s. I’ve also seen it said that you know when a genre has run out of steam when Mel Brooks gets around to parodying it. With Fighting American it seemed that not even two of the foremost creators of the Golden Age of superheroes could take the genre seriously any more.

But thinking about Fighting American, I realized that in one way Simon and Kirby were once again ahead of their time with that series. Didn’t Fighting American in 1954 anticipate the “camp” treatment of superheroes in American pop culture a dozen years later, most notably through the 1966 Batman TV show? Wasn’t the Batman show really a parody of the superhero comics of the 1940s and 1950s, viewed from the ironic perspective of the 1960s, as if the genre had failed to adapt to changing times?

But I don’t believe that any major genre truly dies. Rather, it may languish until an inspired creator finds a way to revitalize it for a new generation and time, as, say, George Lucas did for the “space opera” with Star Wars or the adventure movie serial with the Indiana Jones movies.

When Simon and Kirby created Fighting American, the birth of the Silver Age of Comics, with the debut of editor Julius Schwartz’s revamped Flash in Showcase #4, was only two years away. But the true revolution in the superhero genre would come about in the early 1960s through Stan Lee’s collaboration with Kirby, Steve Ditko and others on “the Marvel Age of Comics.”

Thus Kirby would be in large part responsible for the resurrection and reinvention if the superhero genre which transformed it from a wartime fad into an enduring component of American popular culture that has now spread from comics into novels, cinema and television.

But, it appears, it was Stan Lee who was the essential catalyst in the Marvel revolution. Simon and Kirby were content in Fighting American to mock a genre that had seemingly run its course. They did not come up with a way of revitalizing the superhero genre for the postwar era. It was Stan Lee who instigated taking the superhero genre in a new direction that led to its great success in many media today.

Evanier explains that the particular Fighting American story he reprints was originally published just before the institution of the Comics Code Authority, the comics industry’s self-censorship board, and was subsequently republished in 1966. He provides “before” and “after” versions of the first panel after the introductory splash, showing a murder victim being seized from behind, as his hat falls off to one side. In Kirby and Simon’s original, a menacing hand extends from the right, holding an ice pick, about to thrust it into the victim’s chest. A hand from the left grips the man’s throat. The victim’s eyes are tightly shut, and his tongue extends outward as he screams: “AAAA!” In the Code-approved 1966 version, the ice pick, the sound effect for the scream. and even the hand that gripped the victim’s throat have all vanished. The man’s eyes are now open, and his tongue is no longer visible (Evanier p. 88).

But I find I prefer the second version to the first. Kirby puts such anguish into the murder victim’s face, and creates such a vivid sense of movement –the way the man’s head tilts back, the way his hat falls away–that he creates a powerful image of desperation, pain, and distress. The hand on the right may no longer hold a weapon, but clenched into a fist, it remains both ominous and mysterious. The deleted scream, ice pick and tongue seem like gilding the lily. The later, simpler version is perfectly sufficient, again demonstrating Kirby’s ability to capture iconic imagery on the page.

The rest of the story has some striking visual images. Take panel four of page two (Evanier p. 90), in which the two gentlemanly murderers bow, hats in hand, to an elderly lady. The two men do not look alike, and yet their identical poses and expressions make them comical mirror images of one another. The top of a skyscraper rises above each man’s head, adding to the sense of duality.

The topmost panel of the story’s fourth page might be the archetypal Kirby image of a punch (Evanier p. 92). Kirby doesn’t actually show Fighting American’s fist connecting with the bad guy’s jaw; rather, Kirby has created a picture of the sheer energy of the punch. Fighting American’s left arm is at the bottom of a half-circular arc tracing the movement of his fist. There is a flash of light, signifying the energy released by the force of Fighting American’s blow. The villain is catapulted away, so powerfully that he seems to fly through the air, and collides with a wooden post, which snaps and shatters from the impact. Kirby and Simon have given us not the punch itself but its immediate aftermath, which provides the more dramatic image.

The most remarkable visual sequence in the story comes in the bottom tier of the fifth page (Evanier p. 93). On first glance it seems to be a cinematic sequence in which a single villain pulls off his face mask over the course of three panels. Look again and you’ll find that each of the three panels depicts a different man, each ugly in a different way. But Kirby and Simon have staged the sequence so that in the first panel a man begins pulling off his mask, which still covers the top of his head; in the second, a different man has pulled his mask entirely off, and in the third, an unmasked man grotesquely smiles in triumph as he lifts his mask up high. It looks like a single continuous action divided among three men. This serves a thematic purpose, as well, linking the three men together as members of the “Handsome Devils” by having them act in unison, just like the handsome bowing murderers on the second page. But this tine the effect is not comedic but eerily bizarre.

In the middle tier of the next to last page of the story, Kirby and Simon devise a variation on the classic pyramidal composition in art. This time the pyramid consists of the three bad guys, bunched together, framed in either side by Speedboy and Fighting American, each delivering knockout blows. The plots in Fighting American might not have been serious, but Simon and Kirby’s devotion to the craft of visual storytelling was.

But despite Simon and Kirby’s mastery of their artform, the comics industry was in sharp decline, in large part due to the widespread allegations in the 1950s that comics fomented juvenile delinquency. Simon and Kirby’s own company, Mainline, went under, and Simon became an editor at Harvey. One of the greatest artists in the business, Jack Kirby, who had been riding high only a short time before, was now on his own and out of work. World War II aside, it was the scariest time of his life,” Evanier recounts, literally giving Kirby nightmares about being unable to support his wife and children. This man of extraordinary talent found himself figuratively on the edge of an abyss. Considering the economic news in the papers lately, and commentators likening the present day to 1929, perhaps it is easier for many of us today to comprehend what that must feel like.

Some of us might also identify with Kirby in that, like many creative people who are best suited to working in their art, he was temperamentally unsuited to networking and self-promotion. Simon had been the businessman in their partnership; “as skillful as he [Kirby] was with stories and art, he was still weak in the area of salesmanship” (Evanier p. 99).

People in today’s comics industry might further see parallels in their own lives with Kirby’s dilemma in looking for work outside comics. “No luck,” reports Evanier. “His skills only seemed marketable in one line of radically diminishing work. If he could do anything else, he didn’t know what it was” (Evanier p. 99). Kirby was one of the greatest masters of his chosen artform, yet the rest of the world regarded him as useless.

After a short stint doing the Yellow Claw for Stan Lee at the company that would later become Marvel, Kirby briefly reunited with Simon to create Challengers of the Unknown at DC. Silver Age artist Gil Kane asserted that the DC production department “kept demanding Jack strip his work of all the sharp edges and stylistic innovations that gave it its power and energy” (Evanier p. 101). This is an example of corporate conventional wisdom at its worst: unable or unwilling to perceive Kirby’s true artistry, these champions of mediocrity demanded that Kirby reduce his creative standards to their level. Evanier quotes Kirby as saying, “They kept showing me their other books–books that weren’t selling–and saying, “˜This is what a comic book ought to be'” (Evanier p. 101). This is the measure of their blindness: they would rather go down with the ship rather than try something different that might save them in a changing market. Yet Kirby, who had had so many hits over two decades by this point, was hardly a radical newcomer! And, to pose a rhetorical question, just how do the artistic reputations of the majority of DC’s pencilers of the 1950s compare to Kirby’s nowadays?

Perhaps you are telling yourself that the world of comics is much more enlightened now, a half century later. Is it? Ask yourselves which of your favorite artists or writers–newcomers or veterans–isn’t getting enough work in comics right now, perhaps because his or her work doesn’t fit the conventional wisdom at the major companies about “what a comic book ought to be” in today’s market. Who’s being unjustly ignored now?

Next came Kirby’s remarkable collaboration with another legend, Wally Wood, on Sky Masters, a newspaper comic strip about space travel: Wood’s inking endowed Kirby’s visions of the fantastic with the look of precise, detailed realism.

It might have seemed an ideal project, except for the fact that Kirby was getting paid so little for it. The real life villain of this piece was DC’s Batman editor Jack Schiff, who demanded an undeserved cut of the earnings. It’s bad enough for Schiff’s reputation that he presided over Batman during the series’ creative nadir, but that merely makes him guilty of having bad taste. The Kirby book casts Schiff as a greedy, vengeful man who did his best to sink Kirby’s career; Superman editor Mort Weisinger also comes across quite poorly in Evanier’s telling.

A half century ago Schiff and Weisinger doubtless thought that no outside party would ever learn about their mistreatment of Kirby, and even if anyone did, no one cared about people who worked in comic books. But today’s comics company executives and editors should take notice. There will be more biographies about major figures in American comic books, and autobiographies by some of them as well. Kirby: King of Comics will be far from the last book that probes the history of the American comics industry. If film histories provide an example, these scholars are far more likely to take the side of the creative artist in a dispute with one or more of the “suits.” Today, for example, who defends the RKO studio’s corporate decision to take The Magnificent Ambersons (1942) away from its director Orson Welles, severely cut it, and shoot a new ending? People at comics companies should now ask themselves: how will their decisions look to historians ten, twenty or fifty years from now? The present administration at Marvel had nothing to do with the company’s poor treatment of Kirby in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, yet that still stains the company’s reputation, and probably will continue to do so for years to come.

In 1959 Kirby briefly collaborated again with Simon on two projects, including Adventures of the Fly, a revision of a previous series concept of Simon’s, The Silver Spider. Since Schiff had slammed DC’s doors sit on him, Kirby had only one place left to find work: the company once called Timely, then known as Atlas, and that would soon take the name Marvel. Kirby, it seems, would have preferred not to work for Lee, who had been his former office “go-pher.” But Stan Lee recognized Kirby’s greatness as an artist, and, however obvious that may seem to us today, it appears to have been a rare insight back in 1960. Give Stan Lee credit as a visionary who could see back then what the editors at DC–and, indeed, the world at large at that time–could not.

Back then, Marvel, now this corporate monolith, was so small that, Evanier remarks, “some felt that he [publisher Martin Goodman] only kept the comics going so Stan Lee would have a job” (Evanier p. 111). Goodman had nearly shut the comics line down in 1957, and Kirby recalled Goodman briefly terminating the comics in 1961, although Evanier casts doubt on this.

What would have happened if Martin Goodman had closed down his comics line for good? If Stan Lee and Jack Kirby had never had the chance to collaborate on the Marvel revolution? If instead Lee and Kirby had both ended up leaving the comic book business–although what they would have done instead is a good question–and had never teamed up again? Would there be superhero comics today? Would there be superhero movies today? Would there be comic books of any kind, or the specialty stores that sell them? Would the graphic novel revolution of the last few decades have occurred without the comics shops and a prosperous American comics industry? Or would American comic books have simply died as the “mom and pop” stores that sold them to kids faded away. as did the 1960s head shops that sold the undergrounds?

Without Lee and Kirby’s Marvel revolution, which redefined and reenergized the superhero genre for a new generation of older readers, this column would not exist, nor would most of the Internet sites about comics, and most of us in America who have devoted our careers to comics as an art form would be doing something else.

How easily the course of American popular culture would have been different if Martin Goodman had given up publishing comics as a dead end, or if Stan Lee, feeling creatively frustrated, had quit comics in 1961 as he once intended, or even if Jack Schiff had not blackballed Jack Kirby from DC. How many lives would have been changed over the last four decades?

These are questions that Mark Evanier does not address in his book. What if circumstances had been different and Jack Kirby had taken a different path when he reached this crossroads in the history of popular culture? Now there’s a “What If?” story for Marvel!

But Lee and Kirby did come together at the right time and the right place, and in 1961 they jointly created Fantastic Four #1, the Big Bang of the Marvel Universe. Look at the familiar final pages of the FF’s origin story reprinted in this book (Evanier pgs. 116-117). We’ve ready seen in Kirby: King of Comics that Jack Kirby could masterfully draw action scenes, visually render characterization, and even draw monsters like the FF’s Thing. But in this collaboration of Lee and Kirby, both in the words and in the pictures, there is a sense of drama, rooted in character, expressed through dialogue and action, that is unlike anything Evanier showed us earlier in his book. Here at the crossroads, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby laid out the new road for the superhero genre and for American comics, as we shall see next week.

–Copyright 2008 Peter Sanderson

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/25/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 24, 2008

TV Or Not TV: 3/24 – 3/30

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — admin @ 3:13 am

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Welcome to another week of abysmal television viewing.

I don’t mean to start this column off on a negative note, but there really isn’t a lot to look forward to for decent boob tube-ry this week. Right now we are adrift in a sea of reality television and program repeats. The shows that are new are either mid-season replacement shows (another term for “crap we didn’t have enough faith to put on the air unless the other crap that we put on the air fails”) or sitcoms, which aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Amidst all of this one of the quality television shows out there is coming to an end. For the second time Jericho has been canceled by CBS. It doesn’t really come as a big surprise, but at least fans of the show got something that most don’t get now a day: closure. We will never know the fate of John Doe, we’ll not know where the baby came from on Lois and Clark, and we won’t ever find out exactly what happened to The Nine. Jericho fans at least know what happened in the battle with New Bern and will be given an appropriate series finale (as the producers had two endings shot to cover the show continuing or ending here).

In last week’s article I also mentioned that the jury is still out on Reaper being renewed, even though the CW did renew some shows earlier this year. I have to tell you folks that the show just keeps getting better and better each week. Ray Wise plays the perfect Devil who somehow makes a simple smile one of the more intimidating things you’ll see on TV. Last week we were also introduced to Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino as our hero’s neighbors… who need belt sanders to wear down their horns. That’s right, the perfect gay couple next door are demons. Let’s just hope there is no subtext going on here.

This week we really just have the usual suspects to take in, so without further ado…

MONDAY

CBS ““ 8:30 PM: It’s here! It’s here! The stunt casting I’ve been waiting for is finally upon us… Britney Spears will be on How I Met Your Mother tonight. Panties and emotional stability are optional for tonight’s viewing. Let’s also hope her acting is better than her guest spot on Will & Grace.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: My sources tell me that only 7 episodes of New Amsterdam were actually shot, so we’re nearing the end of the road for the run on this show. Last week John was able to hook up with the woman who might very well be the one soul that will make him start aging again… so where will it go this week? Oh yeah, there’s also a homicide investigation.

CW”“ 9:00 PM: Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious… um… what else do you expect me to recommend? The Robin Williams back-to-back films (Jumanji/RV) on Encore or Constantine on FX? I told you, it is pretty bleak out here.

TUESDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: We’re finally out of Lennon/McCartney/Beatles territory on American Idol and the top 10 will be performing songs from the year of their birth. I’ll be the one in the corner drinking to try to ignore how old the song selections are going to make me feel tonight.

CW ““ 9:00 PM: A repeat tonight of Reaper presents one of the shows unanswered questions. What is on the page of the contract that Sam’s father put in the fireplace?

CBS ““ 10:00 PM: The aforementioned final episode of Jericho airs tonight. Grab a bowl of peanuts, sit back, and send it off right.

WEDNESDAY

TLC ““ 8:00 ““ 10:00 PM: Sit back and watch in both amazement and horror as the Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8 yells at and berates her husband. I am constantly amazed at how much she lets loose on this guy.

HST ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight on MonsterQuest the monster of choice is the Skunk Ape. I am only bringing this up because I wanted to type Skunk Ape. I also imagine a giant ape with Amanda Overmyer’s hair do (to soon?).

THURSDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: It’s between the Brit and the Hick on Celebrity Apprentice tonight. I’m pulling for Trace Adkins if for no other reason than he brought the world Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.

CW ““ 8:00 PM: Purportedly Kara will teach Clark to fly tonight on Smallville in order to fight Spik…er… I mean Braniac. If this is true I can only say IT IS ABOUT FRICKIN’ TIME!

FRIDAY

TNT ““ 8:00 PM: The touching tale of a man and his volleyball plays out tonight on Cast Away. This movie will make you swear off flying, and possibly carbs after you see Hanks in the latter part of the film.

ENCORE ““ 8:00 PM: The Rock for me is one of life’s guilty pleasures.

SATURDAY

AMC ““ 8:00 PM: Everything you need to know in life you can learn from watching The Godfather. “˜Nuff said? If you really want to write off the evening you can also take in The Godfather, Part II right after.

SUNDAY

AMC ““ 5:30 PM: If you didn’t make it through both films last night you can watch The Godfather, Part II tonight instead. Don’t say I never gave you any options.

HST ““ 7:00 PM ““ 10:00 PM: It’s an Ax Men triple header tonight, giving you a great opportunity to get caught up on this amazing show.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: It’s a two for one deal tonight when the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team rebuild the home of a single mom as well as the families “adopted” grandma next door. I hope you have an extra box of tissue handy.

– Will Wilkins did not harm any animals in the writing of this column.

Win SWEENEY TODD on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:02 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Dreamworks Home Video, five (5) copies of SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, March 31st.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Monday, March 31st.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/24/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:47 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 23, 2008

Game On! 3-23-2008: Vegas, baby!

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 4:51 am

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So, it’s kinda funny how whenever I mention a game I’m planning on reviewing…it doesn’t show up. Well, it doesn’t happen that often, mind, but yeah…I should stop that. I end up jinxing myself and don’t post a column for a few weeks while I wait. So, I’m not going to do that anymore, thank you very much FRONTLINES. However, I do have a good amount of stuff for you all this time around, so maybe it’s for the best.

NO, THIS IS VEGAS

r6v2_1.jpgI may not have reviewed it, but I was a big fan of the first RAINBOW SIX: VEGAS…so much so that me and friends from work still play it online every Thursday. Well, we would, but now RAINBOW SIX: VEGAS 2 is out for Xbox 360 and PS3, and that will take up more time. The direct sequel to the previous game, this new title has you picking up where the Rainbow squad left off with terrorists taking over the Vegas strip. This time out, however, your character is one you create, and how you look (as well as how your stats increase) caries through both the single and multiplayer experiences.

With an updated version of the Persistent Elite Creation system, combined with the new A.C.E.S. (Advanced Combat Enhancement and Specialization) system, players can gain experience points across both modes. Even if you don’t play multiplayer (or don’t play the single player game, as the case may be) you’ll still increase you skill, and the A.C.E.S. system does it beautifully, depending on how you dispatch your foes. Enough shots from up close, long range, or even while they (or you) are descending fast ropes build your skill, and you level up much faster here than in the previous game. The character creation also allows for quite a lot of customization, but once again, all the good stuff is unlocked after gaining a few levels.

The story mode is where the meat and potatoes of the experience lies, with your team going in to bail Keller and his squad out of the cliffhanger of the last game. While this clears up a good amount of the plot points from the last game, there’s honestly not much new here, content wise. It’s still the same kind of tactical squad based combat, and while the graphics are polished a bit and the maps are new, it’s basically just an update more than a sequel. Still, the last game was so strong, this isn’t really much of hindrance.

If the story is the meat and potatoes, the multiplayer is the cherries jubilee. Terrorist Hunt is back with some excellent maps, as are two new adversarial modes. Hostage Rescue is just how it sounds (rescue them before the opposing team kills them) and Team Leader (which has you escorting your team’s leader to the extraction point, as well as stopping the other team from doing the same) round out the typical deathmatch, item extraction and demolition. A new addition for this sequel (and any RAINBOW SIX game period) is the addition of a sprint button, and while it seems like a small feature, it’s certainly a welcome one. You never know how much you want to catch up to team mates until you realize all your equipment weighs you down and running would really help you not get your ass shot.

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Co-op is good and bad all in the same breath, however. Finally, we get all the cut scenes and story elements in the co-op game, so that we can actually follow along with what’s happening. However, the number of friends you can play with now has been dropped from 4 to 2, with you controlling your two AI squadmates while your buddy is basically a gun-for-hire. If you bite it, they have no one to give them orders until you respawn. What’s the point in that? Still, if you can’t beat RAINBOW’s notoriously difficult storyline by yourself, a buddy is a welcome addition that won’t skimp on the story part of the story mode.

For most, R6V2 won’t be too different from the previous title, but for others still that isn’t such a bad thing. It still has the great squad tactics, excellent maps, killer multiplayer modes and tons of fun. A few more improvements over the last title would have been nice, but when that close to greatness, it’s hard to improve. At least we have something new to keep us busy on Thursdays.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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OOH OOH, SMASH IT UP

ssbb.jpgI’ll be honest with you…I’m not a big SUPER SMAHS BROS. fan. When MELEE came out on Gamecube, I picked it up and had fun playing the game myself, but frankly, with friends (especially if four of us are playing) I can’t really tell what the fuck is happening…I just know I’m getting my ass kicked. Now with the release of SUPER SMASH BROS. BRAWL on the Wii, I feel the same way…but it comes in such a pretty package with so many extras, I may not care as much.

The standard game is here, with you choosing one of your favorite Nintendo characters and beating the snot out of any on-comers. With the addition of third party character such as Solid Snake from the METAL GEAR series, as well as long time Nintendo (and Mario) rival Sonic the Hedgehog, this game aims to be every fanboys wet dream. The multiplayer franticism is the game’s selling point, and the hardest of the hardcore can beat it out with one of four controller set-ups (wii-mote, wii-mote and nunchuck, classic controller or Gamecube controller) so the core hasn’t changed.

Now, however, there’s the addition of the Smash ball. This little icon floats in only occasionally, and whichever fighter cracks it gets the ability to perform a “final smash” a screen filling move that usually (though not always) annihilates all opponents. These are great to watch and most matches have the players stop wailing on each other as they all try to grab the icon and close in for that final win.

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So what else is new? Well, the single player adventure mode has now become the (slightly) story driven SUBSPACE EMMISARY game, complete with fan service cut scenes and unlockables galore. This where most will spend their time as it not only unlocks the majority of the characters for the game, but also features some of the best scenes in the game. Sadly, this not just the longest mode, but also the weakest, as the story mode (for me anyway) was just a bit on the tedious side. A lot of the side scrolling missions just wouldn’t control right, and the repetition was a bit to drag out for the mode’s 8 to 10 hours. Still, if you want to unlock R.O.B., Mr. Game and Watch, and even Sonic, this is the way to go. At least you can play this co-op with a friend online and off.

Online is a new component here too, but sadly, Nintendo is keeping this mode hindered with obscure friend codes and no way to communicate with opponents. If you happen to have a friend’s code, you can spout some custom taunts, but if you don’t know who you’re playing, you REALLY don’t know who you’re playing. No screen name appears, there’s no way to talk to them…you may as well be playing the computer. I will say, connections are great and there’s no noticeable lag, so…there’s that.

With 32 fighters, an insane number of classic and new stages, a decent if flawed online and single player story modes, and even some challenge modes, BRAWL is the one to beat them all. If you can see past what the heck is happening on screen, that is. I still loose myself in the crowd.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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QUICKSHOT OF THE WEEK

bully.jpgOne of my favorite games of the past year has been re-released for the Xbox 360 and Wii, and I couldn’t be happier. BULLY: SCHOLARSHIP EDITION is out now and features a good many improvements over the original game. While the main story remains the same, there are an additional 8 missions, 4 new classes (math, biology, geography and music) and even a couple of new characters. The same awesome voicework and cut scenes are here and these new missions fit right in, thanks to the stellar writing of the characters. In fact, it almost seems like some of these missions (and especially the classes) were just omitted from the original PS2 version due to space constraints. Hell, the teachers of these classes are seen in some of the existing scenes, and now you actually HAVE Mr. Hattrick’s math class! The Wii version has the usual waggle control with the combat, but the precision in biology class is great when dissecting your experiments. The 360 version has the clear advantage, however, with its much more polished graphics and, of course, achievements. Still, there were some freezing and frame rate issues, but thankfully Rockstar issued a downloadable patch which corrected (most of) the problems. If you missed it on PS2, now is a great time to pick up this “director’s cut”, and even if you played through it before, the story is so great and the characters so well defined, it’s worth hitting Bullworth Academy again.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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GAMER NEWS

In case you haven’t heard, they’re doing ANOTHER live action STREET FIGHTER movie. As if being the last Raoul Julia film wasn’t enough, the previous film also features some of the most laughable scenes and sequences in a gaming film ever. This new flick aims to erase all those memories (hopefully) by hitting a serious story…and not hiring the Muscles from Brussels. This time the focus is on ol’ Thunder-Thighs herself, Chun Li. Here’s the press release from Capcom:

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STAR-STUDDED CAST ANNOUNCED FOR CAPCOM®’S LIVE-ACTION STREET FIGHTER MOVIE
2008 World-Release In Celebration of Street Fighter’s 20th Anniversary
SAN MATEO, Calif — March 19, 2008 — Capcom®, a leading worldwide developer and publisher of video games, is proud to confirm the main cast for its live-action Street Fighter movie based on the hugely popular video game series.

The story revolves around fan-favorite Chun-Li, who will be portrayed by actress Kristen Kreuk (of Smallville fame). Michael Clark Duncan, Neal McDonough, and Taboo of Black Eyed Peas are also on board to round out this all-star cast. The film will be made in conjunction with Hyde Park Films, and will be distributed by 20th Century Fox for a scheduled 2009 worldwide release.

The Street Fighter movie is only one of many projects Capcom has planned to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Street Fighter®. Summer 2008 will see the Japanese arcade release of the much-anticipated Street Fighter® IV.

Street Fighter was first released in 1987 to critical acclaim for its innovative features. This was followed up in 1991 with the smash hit Street Fighter® II, which broke records by being available in 500 thousand arcade cabinets and selling over 25 million units on home systems. These records cemented Street Fighter’s reputation as one of the most popular fighting game series of all time and ensured that the fighting genre would become a staple of the gaming world.

The cast so far includes:
“¢ Chun-Li: Kristin Kreuk. Plays the role of Lana Lang in the WB television series Smallville .

“¢ Balrog: Michael Clarke Duncan. The Island (2005), Sin City (2005), Daredevil (2003), The Scorpion King (2002), Planet of the Apes (2001), See Spot Run (2001), The Whole Nine Yards (2000), The Green Mile (1999), Breakfast of Champions (1999), Armageddon (1998)

“¢ M. Bison: Neal McDonough. The Hitcher (2007), Flags of Our Fathers (2006), The Guardian (2006), Timeline (2003), Minority Report (2002), Band of Brothers (2001)

“¢ Vega: Taboo. Member of popular R&B music group Black Eyed Peas and recipient of three Grammy Awards.

“¢ Charlie Nash: Chris Klein. We Were Soldiers (2002), American Pie (1999)

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Sounds interesting, right? Now if only that rumored TEKKEN movie had such good news.

In portable news, the phenomenon that is GUITAR HERO is hitting the DS later this year with GUITAR HERO: ON TOUR. When I first heard this a few months ago, I was concerned as to how this would work. Now, the first screens have been released, and I have to say, I like the way it looks:

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Still, it does raise some questions. I mean, sure, you can press the buttons like on the normal GH guitar, but…you’ll be strumming in the palm of your hand, right? Didn’t they learn anything from JAM SESSIONS? Still, I’ll reserve judgement until it’s released. If you listen to CABIN FEVER here on QSE, you already know my opinion on GUITAR HERO anyway.

Alright, friends… we’ll see you next week. I feel safe in saying I’ll review CONDEMNED 2 and FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES: RUNES OF FATE as I’ve actually received them. “˜Til then…

THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Ratings From Greatest to Least:

Kick Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (aka CRAPTACULAR)

Comics & Comics: Fling In The Clowns…

Filed under: Comics and Comics — admin @ 4:41 am

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Howdy Inter-Webbers. I’m Matt Cohen and I’m running out of stuff to dig.

You all know me by now hopefully (creepy, isn’t it) and you know what I’m all about. And if you don’t, go downstairs and meet me at the coffee shop across the street in fifteen minutes”¦ Well chat. So, without further rambling, lets bypass the pleasantries and get right to the funnies, shall we?

Internet: The web has been the place of recent times, to find fresh, undiscovered and often hilarious comedy content. With the size and nature of the Internet, its tough to weed through what’s worth watching. Heres a quick look at some videos I think are guaranteed to make you chuckle, if not have a chuckle-fit (which is illegal in some states). Click the blue for linkage (if you needed to know that, Hi, welcome to the internet. I have a friend who is a displaced diplomat in Nairobi, looking to offload some bank accounts… I’ll be in touch)

Improv Everywhere Food Court Musical:
New York City based improviser Charlie Todd started Improv Everywhere about ten years ago with a simple purpose in mind; To create widespread comedy madness in very public places. Improv Everywhere has been going extremely song since its inception, with such web famous videos as “The Best Buy” stunt and the now annually infamous “No-Pants subway ride”. The newest offering from the group is an inspired little piece, concieved by Charlie Todd and written by Anthony King, creator of the off-broadway musical “Guttenberg: The Musical!. Basically, its musical theater in a mall food court, and its pretty damn funny. The best part may be (as per usual) the shocked faces of the oblivious onlookers. I look forward to more great content from Improv Everywhere in the near future.

Bob Odenkirk The Truth about Lincoln: “Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Loooooo!!!!”. Bob Odenkirk; take it from me”¦ Stop directing horribly mediocre films (except Melvin goes to dinner, which is a fantastic watch) and get back to acting, because you sir still are one the funniest human beings on the planet. Its no surprise that Odenkirk has tried to extend his hand into the world of filmmaking, going the route of so many comedians before him. However, I’m of the opinion when you’ve got a good thing you should flaunt it, and Odenkirk is still comedy gold, as is evident in this hilarious web-sketch “The Truth about Lincoln”.Mix one part “In Search Of”, one part Histories Mysteries and one part Ozark hillbilly Odenkirk and you’ve got a combination that I personally find irresistible. The fact that I’m a big Lincoln fan might play into my love of this sketch but honestly, I would listen to Odenkirk do that character read the phone books. Brilliant stuff.

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TV Report:

Whitest Kids who used to be funny: What the hell happened here? Can a show really go from being so consistently funny in its first season to being downright awful in its sophomore effort? The first three offerings from this season of Whitest Kids U Know (now on IFC, and uncensored, but well get to that in a bit) have been absolutely and completely laugh free. It seems like whatever spark the boys had to them in the first season is now completely gone, and has been replaced by the crudest and “shocking’iest” lowest denominator humor possible. Look, I’m no prude, but a scene about anal sex that ends with the line “Frosted Turd” is just not funny. Comedy isn’t about trying to shock or offend people so much they laugh, it’s about making them laugh, something the guys from the troupe “used” to be able to do. I think the main culprit of this sudden lack of quality is the fact that the show has moved from the basic cable channel Fuse, to the pay channel IFC, and has lost all restrictive forces or censorship. For some reason, the troupe took that as an excuse to stop writing smart comedy and to start writing the stupidest kind of “Gross-out” humor possible. I recently watched all three of this seasons episodes back to back and was frankly shocked at how little I enjoyed them. A month ago, if you asked me I would’ve told you this was one of the funniest shows on television. But based on this season’s initial offerings, I would say to avoid the program at all costs. I’m not ready to give up entirely yet, but if things don’t turn around soon I’m going to start calling them The Whitest Kids I Used to Know.

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To Look For:

Super High Me: Stand up comedian and High Times man of the year recipient Doug Benson has produced and starred in his first feature film, a documentary very much in the vein of Morgan Spurlock’s McDonalds expose Super-Size Me and I for one am very excited to see the finished product. Super High Me follows Benson on his Spurlockesque adventure, this time the subject not hamburgers but rather marijuana. The concept is as follows. Doug will abstain from smoking marijuana for 30 days which throughout he will receive regular doctor exams and record his results (ala Spurlock), to be followed by a 30 day period of heavy, every day pot smoking, to which he will follow the same medical protocol. What basically amasses to a pro-medical marijuana documentary promises to infuse Benson’s unique stoner sense of humor. This flick has been a hit (I’m funny) so far at the festivals its played at, and I would suggest you take the chance to see it if it comes to a theater near you. Pre movie activity is optional.

Comics & Comics 3 21 08 Benson

 

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Well, thats it for this week. Check back on thursday for my dismal look at the Wizard World L.A Non-Con. (Ill explain). Have a enjoyable week, if you find it so. If not, look for it…

And as always,

“Keep em’ bagged and boarded”

–Matt Cohen is currently rubbing his eyes, but they still hurt.

March 21, 2008

Weekend Shopping Guide 3/21/08: The Meek Shall Inherit

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:10 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Leave it to the wonderful documentary Life After People (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) – in which, as the title suggests, we learn what happens to the human legacy and creations if we were to suddenly disappear – to illuminate just how little we leave behind that has any real permanence to it. In fact, the evidence of our lives upon this planet is eliminated depressingly fast if left to the devices of mother nature. The DVD features additional scenes. Definitely check this out.

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I’m endlessly fascinated by the Beatles, which is why a documentary like Composing The Beatles Songbook (Pride, Not Rated, DVD-$19.95 SRP) is right up my alley. It’s a fascinating look at the songwriting partnership of John Lennon and Paul McCartney in the period from 1957-1965 – in other words, when they were actively writing together. Great stuff.

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You know, Will Smith’s I Am Legend (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.99 SRP) is actually a decent adaptation of the Richard Matheson novel – up to a point. That point is when we leave behind Smith’s Dr. Robert Neville – who has stayed behind in a decimated New York City to try and find the cure for a virus that has wiped out mankind, leaving a small survivor base of violent humanity, the immune Neville, his dog, and the hope of more people out there somewhere. The film begins to flail about in the cesspool of Hollywood mediocrity when the crappy CG infected monstro-humans show up, with their implausible anaconda mouths and plastic skin. It’s a shame it all falls apart, because they had something there. The 2-disc edition features an alternate ending that hews closer to the book and a quartet of animated comics.

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I really don’t get the attraction of Enchanted (Walt Disney, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). I saw it in the theater with family over the holidays, and I admit that the conceit was good – an animated fairytale princess (Amy Adams) on the eve of her marriage to the handsome prince (James Marsden) gets banished to the “real world” New York City by the evil Queen (Susan Sarandon) and must find her way while finding new love (Patrick Dempsey) – but the execution was just saccharine and cheap. It’s sad, because it could have been a memorable meta romp. Bonus features include deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and bloopers.

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Though the recent remake starring author Woody Allen and Michael J. Fox has long been available on DVD, the original adaptation of the cold war farce Don’t Drink The Water (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) – starring Jackie Gleason as the unfortunate American family man whose innocent tourist snaps behind the iron curtain are misinterpreted as spying, leading to an international incident – has been MIA. Well, it’s MIA no more, and it’s worth a peep.

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Nothing cries out “prestige Oscar picture” like Atonement (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP), with its sweeping storyline about love, bitterness, war, and Britishness. The story, in a nutshell, is about a pair of young lovers (Keira Knightley & James McAvoy) whose passionate embrace is witnessed by her younger sister (Saoirse Ronan), whose jealousy leads her to tell a lie that has lasting consequences for them all. Sounds prestige-y, doesn’t it? Bonus features include an audio commentary, making-of featurettes, and deleted scenes.

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Essentially blendered fairy tales, the Jim Henson company’s Unstable Fables should be a winning concept, as it allows for a fun reimagining of classic stories. In execution, though, the first installment – 3 Pigs And A Baby (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is a half-hearted, poorly executed affair that contains none of the Henson wit or magic. What it does feature is a cringe-worthy voice cast bringing an anemic script to life with third-rate CGI. If I’m ever in the presence of Brian Henson again, I’m going to give him a healthy smack upside the head. Bonus features include a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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Not only had the franchise jumped the shark, but it was doing cartwheels by the time the Flintstones had evolved into the Saturday morning Pebbles And Bamm-Bamm Show (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP), which aged the titular characters into their teens and made the whole thing into a prehistoric American Graffiti. The 2-disc set contains all 16 episodes, plus 4 additional Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm episodes from The Flintstones Comedy Hour.

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The third (and penultimate) season of Battlestar Galactica (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) seems to have been full of the twists and turns that fans of the series delight in. Personally, I’m still not enamored of the show, and find its initially bleak outlook to have turned into a lackluster take-off on Blade Runner. Still, fans will delight in the 6-disc box set, featuring all 20 episodes (with “Unfinished Business” getting a 25-minute extension), deleted scenes, commentaries, podcasts, video blogs, and webisodes.

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After his last few abysmal flicks, I admit to being a bit leery of taking in Guy Ritchie’s latest, Revolver (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP). Thankfully, he’s gone back to the gangster character pieces that defined his best work – Lock Stock and Snatch. This time around, it’s Jason Statham as a grifter out for revenge against a crime boss (Ray Liotta) who finds his revenge may be a bit more complicated than he first thought. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and outtakes.

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Sadly, they should have let the accident take the Bionic Woman (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) and not bothered to waste the money keeping her afloat. The resurrection of the 70’s Bionic spin-off is DOA and annoying in the way that all of these hyper-glossy, utterly boring post-modern sci-fi series seem to be. Whither wonder with your angsty adventure? The 2-disc set features all 8 episodes, plus an audio commentary and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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It’s so awkward when a show tries so hard to be like one of your favorite shows, but ends up failing miserably. You just feel bad for the poor mooks. Such is the case with the first season of the ABC Family show Greek (ABC Family, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP), which tries to do for college what Freaks and Geeks did for high school. Remember back when that was called Undeclared? It was funnier and more enjoyable then. The 3-disc set features all 10 episodes, plus deleted scenes, commentaries, a behind-the-scenes featurette, an extended music sequence, and a look at season 2.

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Things are winding down by the time we get to the eight season of Married With Children (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). Most of the humor had played out, and it was clearly marking time until the end. It’s sad, really, since the show was quite groundbreaking and funny in its early seasons. The 3-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus two “minisodes” of Silver Spoons and VIP.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Trailer Park: Dentmobile Goodness in Scottsdale, Arizona

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 12:02 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

First things first, yes, I actually left my house on a Saturday for a free T-shirt and, yes, I dragged my two girls along with me. And, yes, I got a few more shirts, assorted swag and I am going to be giving out a few of these things in the coming weeks. We might have a contest, stay tuned.

It’s odd to try and explain why I would ensconse myself in this experiment of movie marketing, by definition this was all an exercise in making people buy into this film and to spend money on it, but I can give two definitive reasons about what drove me to see this “Dentmobile” stop along its way to other cities across America:

1. I read this piece in Wired magazine about the proliferation of ways marketing departments are trying to infiltrate the youth demo in ways that don’t overtly make it known that commerce is at the root of its mere existence and the fascinating psychology about why this is better than any movie trailer or pseudo interview by some shill of a movie star about why you should depart with your money to see their film.

2. I just wanted to see what kind of crazies would also turn out on a Saturday morning who weren’t there on the pretense of reporting back in their own columns.

One of the things that struck me as I stood at the corner of Indian School and Scottsdale road at 10:50 a.m., ten minutes before the Dentmobile’s scheduled appearance, was how other dudes (and don’t kid yourself. This is all about the dudes. The hardcore, real geeky variety.) were giving each other the Larry Craig two-step in trying to figure out who was there at the busy corner of a suburban tourist destination and were in on the secret.

I struck up a conversation with the obvious fan who donned a Dark Knight logo-ed t-shirt about how he found out about this as I did: I received an e-mail just days before giving me little time to plan/re-think whether I wanted to actually go out and see this in person. The guy was amiable enough, he told me he was an extra in BATMAN BEGINS and was part of a crowd scene that required him to spend a lot of time on the set. He didn’t mention ever seeing Christian Bale but he did comment that he was impressed with Christopher Nolan’s sense of dress on the set. As we spoke, another fellow geek strolled up, established that we were now 3 strong (5 if you could my 2 year-old on my shoulders and my 4 year-old twisting around my hips) with a few patches of other smaller groups that were all looking at one another as if this was some FBI sting ready to go down. The newest dweeb talked about his previous contact with this virulent strain of viral marketing for the film and was one of those, locally, who tracked down a Joker cake that had a phone inside of it. Now, I thought these were given out to select members of the media but from his frenzied storytelling of how the charade went down to his cryptic mentioning that even though the phone was a pre-paid one someone added minutes to it in late January. No one knows what this could be, if anything, but it certainly adds to the sensational intricacies Warner Bros. is taking with this project.

It wasn’t until about 11:14 when I thought I was the one who was the idiot who drove almost a half and hour to get there to maybe, possibly, we’re-not-quite-sure catch the sight of a van that would be distributing oodles of free crap. Not just any crap but quality crap from the DARK KNIGHT.

And that’s about the time when we saw the van. What was amusing about the sighting is that we all zombified at that moment, following the slow pace of the van and walking towards it en masse as if it were playing an ice cream jingle only we could hear. Following it down a few streets, back to where it first appeared to then having a mall cop ask the Dentmobile’s ambassadors, two dudes who looked fresh off a Nine Inch Nails concert bender, to move elsewhere. To their credit I have to say the guys representing WB really got into the shtick. They started schilling for this fake candidate with the same kind of vigor and exuberance that any person going to a road rally for an Obama or McCain campaign stop would get in a small dose. Shit, for a while I thought I would be voting for Harvey Dent in the next election. Stuffed with scads of buttons, stickers, campaign signs, to say nothing of the sweet ass shirts, I had gotten my campaign fill. A few of those who I was chatting with before the Dentmobile arrived were coaxed by the campaign workers to actually shout at passing cars in support of Dent’s election campaign.

I was amazed.

People were walking up sidewalks, being prompted by no one, shouting at cars to vote for Harvey Dent. There was no prize, no extra swag for doing so, but these people were there chanting for Dent’s election. This was where I drew my proverbial line, I was into this but I wasn’t stupid, and left my fellow fans to ponder what made this Kool-Aid so delicious. Maybe it’s the thrill of being a part of a marketing machine, maybe it was because no one working on this campaign ever asked me to go see THE DARK KNIGHT and treated this as a real rally or maybe it fills some fictitious void in the participants’ lives. That’s certainly not a bad thing considering what else it could be filled with and everyone there looked like they were having a great time being there. The people present stretched over all sorts of age lines, you had a lots of other little kids who were no doubt dragged by their weird ass fathers, and even the guy who looked like a victim of not only a serious case of albinoism, but appeared alopecia was a concern as well, and went as far as to get that odd symbol that kept popping up in Heroes this season tattooed on his forearm looked like he was there for some scary fun.

I am only left to think that there are really Super Fans out there who are really into what this film’s promotion wants you to believe. It’s convincing enough to make an otherwise normal human being to shout at passing cars.

Here, then, are the photos from last Saturday’s Dentmobile experience:


There it was, rolling through the lily white and gentrified streets of Scottsdale

 


“Where’s the Dentmobile going, guys?”

 


Free shit. We want free shit…

 


The anticipation is almost too much by this point…

 


The guy standing in black on the right? Brought a copy of the THANK YOU FOR SMOKING DVD, he did. At first I thought he knew something I didn’t. I quickly deduced he did not.

 


Guy wiping his nose? Scary as all fu$%. And hey, you can see Albino Boy in the way back. Just as scary, friends.

 


Free stuff is the privilege of being an American.

 


The back of this badonkadonk is straight trippin’, yo.

 


The woman rocking the mullet in the front here was rough trade. I’m sure I could have hit that for a t-shirt and a few buttons.

 

Dentmobile, Scottsdale
More mullet goodness and the mightiest set of nerds this side of Phoenix. The guy with the Batman shirt should have been schooled by the Jeremy Piven PCU rules concerning outerwear.

 

Dentmobile, Scottsdale
Where was Ogre from REVENGE OF THE NERDS shouting “NEEEEERRRRDS!”, hanging out of an Escalade, when I needed him to materialize the most?

 

Dentmobile, Scottsdale
Dentmobile, Scottsdale
Dentmobile, Scottsdale
Dentmobile, Scottsdale
I apologize in advance to my daughters for indulging their crazy father. I’m at a loss to determine who had more fun hunting down this fake van.

RUN, FAT BOY, RUN (2008)

Director: David Schwimmer
Cast: Simon Pegg, Hank Azaria, Ameet Chana, Dylan Moran, Thandie Newton, Harish Patel
Release:
March 28, 2008
Synopsis: Five years ago Dennis (Simon Pegg) was at the altar about to marry Libby (Thandie Newton), his pregnant fiancée. He got cold feet and ran for the hills and he’s been going in circles ever since. When Dennis discovers Libby’s hooked up with high-flying-go-getter Whit (Hank Azaria), he realizes it’s now or never. He enters a marathon to show he’s more than a quitter but then finds out just how much sweat, strain and tears it takes to run for 26 miles. Nobody gives him a chance but Dennis knows this is his only hope to more than a running joke.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I wasn’t a fan of HOT FUZZ.

I thought it was a nice diversion of sorts and that its comedy, spoofing and lampooning other action films, wasn’t so much of a satire or ironic as it was just a little pedantic. I certainly enjoyed having Spaced on my TiVo but I’m not one, like many out there do, to give a the written equivalent of a happy ending to every Pegg project. That said, I am a big Simon Pegg fan. He’s got the presence of a comedian and funny man without exhibiting the characteristics of those like him who try way too hard to be amusing. He seems likable and honestly feels like an Everyman.

In this trailer, he’s just absolutely endearing.

I’m a little unsure of the voiceover used to kick things off in this thing that uses the conceit of relationships as marathons. The words about dedication, discipline and determination ring a little hollow as they would if you saw them on an 8th grade essay asking someone to compare and contrast relationships and marathons.

The set-up, thankfully, comes rather quickly after that and we’ve got the movie set up before us in a matter of seconds. So, he’s a bit of a cad, almost like our anti-hero in HIGH FIDELITY, and he needs to make “one last attempt” to get into the good graces of his ex in the hopes he can woo her away from Hank Azaria by getting in shape for a marathon. I’ve seen Hank’s ass in ALONG CAME POLLY and I can unfortunately report that Simon doesn’t have a chance.

The bits that show Simon stretching outside of his house in some rather obscenely short shorts is hilarious as is his meeting with Hank in the locker room and being face to face with the wang that is being used to schtupp his ex-girlfriend. The scene, however brief, is enough to make me smile as you just track the expression on Simon’s face. As well, His inability to choke down raw egg yolks is just as good and it’s a brilliant send-up to all those pictures where dudes choke them down like they were milkshakes.

What’s more, and this is rather impressive, the trailer does a salchow of a jump and lands squarely on the side of serious drama where we see what Simon’s previous actions, walking out on his pregnant fiancée the first time, has permanently scarred the relationships he has now. It’s a bold move and one that usually isn’t one that’s allowed to come out, especially when you’re trying to sell this as a comedy, but it works and it’s poignant.

The trailer ends with the promise of a great story that happens to be punctuated with laughs along the way. It’s premise and execution seems fresh and that’s simply all I need in order to be convinced that I will buy into this film’s pitch. Too many times the trailers that accompany films depend on that sense of categorization. It’s the reason why you hear people talk about a movie being just the opposite of what they were sold in a commercial. Good or bad aside, selling a film based on only one aspect of a film’s content is not only false advertising but it leaves a bad taste in the mouths of those who bought into it. Thankfully, this preview puts itself out there to be seen as both funny and, hopefully, poignant.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008)

Director: Louis Leterrier
Cast: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt
Release:
June 13, 2008
Synopsis: THE INCREDIBLE HULK kicks off an all-new, explosive and action-packed epic of one of the most popular superheroes of all time. In this new beginning, scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) desperately hunts for a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unbridled force of rage within him: The Hulk.

Living in the shadows – cut off from a life he knew and the woman he loves, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) – Banner struggles to avoid the obsessive pursuit of his nemesis, General Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt), and the military machinery that seeks to capture him and brutally exploit his power.

View Trailer:
* Large (Yahoo Media)

Prognosis: Negative. I usually set the bar really low when it comes to what I expect out of my summer movie trailers.

You already know at the outset that the content for the film is nothing more than what will pay for a large percentage of the operating costs for the studio the other 51 weeks of the year and the only function of the film trailer for these films is to speak to my base needs as a male. Mayhem, explosions, flashing lights, shiny spoons, all these things should be the stock and trade of any good trailer maker for a summer but this one decides to buck tradition and just show me something that I would expect to find in late August.

I’m amazed this is what passes for a preview for the “reboot” of THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

One of the first things, right off the bat, that this trailer suffers from is a really, really, limp and emotional beginning. What do I care that Ed Norton is having internal problems with controlling the Hulk? I won’t even get creative with the way I say it, I simply don’t. You’ve been given a golden opportunity to really make me excited by this second chance opportunity and what I get is two dudes sharing wine on a barcalounger talking about repression; for god’s sake, these two men look like they’re moments away from mashing each other’s dinner (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Instead of unveiling the second coming, I get STEEL MAGNOLIAS.

Then, they play coy.

Some random, prototypical “bad guy” is flung through the air, through some glass of an abandoned warehouse (these places are magnets for people like this) and you’ve got Tim Roth looking all greasy and slimy. Shit, could they make anyone more of a walking, hackneyed plot device? The only thing missing is a Hello My Name Is”¦Bad Guy Numero Uno.

We get treated to the Required Reading that explains the situation to the laypeople in the audience and while I don’t begrudge anyone from doing the requisite fill-in for many out there who have never heard of this green beast you would figure the rest of us would get something good to look at, not the pensive Banner shots I am sure will pepper this film. Beyond that, Roth being shown as someone else who is injected, I think, with the kind of radiation that will ultimately turn him into the Abomination.

Now, when we have the villain tearing up the city, Banner up above giving that lame, brave speech that he has to be the one to stop it, I am almost laughing at how much melodrama is infused into the moment when he gently lets go of Liv Tyler’s hands and falls gently out the back of what looks like a C-130.

I know this borders on dream casting but I would have loved to see Norton pull up his sack and get pumped before flinging himself out of the plane. I don’t want Gandhi going into war I want a Russell Crowe, GLADIATOR, kind of man to slap his hands together, knows what needs to be done and is ready to rip some shit up. I want someone who knows he has the Hulk inside of him and knows that he’s about to choke a bitch out. No, what we get is Lyle, The Effeminate Heterosexual ready to do battle with the Abomination.

When we do see the Hulk I am just spent with trying to articulate why the trailer has pissed me off. I liked the roaring, the squaring off with one another, and even the eventual clashing of the two of them. I’m embarrassed for Louis Leterrier that the street these two CGI figures run down is perfectly clean and that all detritus is squarely off to the side. Couldn’t someone have put people, wayward cars in the way? I mean, after all, they are both fake so how hard could putting in a dumpster be? It looks staged and, to me, I appreciate a wayward bus that gets clipped in TRANSFORMERS than I am by the prospect that these two digital creations will duke it out for an extended period of time.

Pathetic.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/21/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 20, 2008

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #35: The Cow Part Of The Brain

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 8:59 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #35: The Cow Part Of The Brain – Ken & Dana return with tales of photo Muppets, TV recommendations, seafood, the appeal of beef jerky, party eating, Star Trek, octogenarian fatherhood, Hollyclowns, awkward sartorial choices from the past, jury duty, Dana’s better brother, and even a peek into the mail bag.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #35 (MP3 format)

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Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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Comics in Context #218: From Animation Into Reality

Filed under: Comics in Context — admin @ 2:19 am

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cic2008-03-20.jpgPeople who aspire to become actors want to be on stage or on television or in the movies. Even those of us without that particular career ambition may fantasize about being “in the movies” in a different sense. In the silent comedy Sherlock, Jr. (1924), Buster Keaton’s character falls asleep in a movie projectionist’s booth, and in his dream sees the figures on the movie screen. enacting the tale of a jewel robbery, transform into people he knows. Keaton’s dream self proceeds to walk up to and into the screen, interacting with the characters on-screen. After being catapulted from one movie location to another by a series of edits, Keaton’s character eventually returns to the first setting, this time having metamorphosed into a character in the story, the detective, Sherlock Jr., who sets out to find the thief and recover the jewels.

Travel between reality and illusion goes in the opposite direction in Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), in which a heroic figure from a movie steps down from the screen and enters the real world.

In animation there is a long tradition of attempting to break down the barriers between the real world and the cartoon world. In Max and Dave Fleischer’s Out of the Inkwell cartoons, the animated Ko-Ko the Clown repeatedly escapes and wreaks havoc in the “live action” world of Max (see “Comics in Context” #190: “Pop Eye-Con”), while in Walt Disney’s early Alice shorts, a real girl appears within a cartoon environment (see “Comics in Context” #211: “The Silent Rabbit”). Over succeeding decades filmmakers continued to experiment with mixing live action and animation, as in conductor Leopold Stokowski shaking hands with Mickey Mouse in Fantasia (1940), Gene Kelly dancing with Jerry (of the Tom and Jerry team) in Anchors Aweigh (1945), the “Jolly Holiday” sequence in Mary Poppins (1964), complete with dancing penguins (see “Comics in Context” #158: “Jolly Holiday”), and Robert Zemeckis’s visually astounding Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988). Since then, advances in computer technology have resulted in the creation of animated characters that blend seamlessly into “live action” environments. While watching the films, it is easy to forget that Gollum in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies or the title character in his 2005 King Kong (see “Comics in Context” #121: “The Once and Future Kong”) are merely digital constructs interacting on-screen alongside real people. Zemeckis’s The Polar Express (2004) and Beowulf (2007) seek, not entirely successfully, to fuse live action and animation, utilizing real actors; performances as the templates for digital characters (see “Comics in Context” #66: “A Christmas Potpourri” and #205: “Identity Theft”).

You could argue that this same desire to mix cartoons with reality underlies the live action screen adaptations of comics properties from Robert Altman’s Popeye (1980) and Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy (1990) to the current wave of live action movies featuring Marvel and DC superheroes.

And then there are the attempts to adapt cartoon properties to the stage. Victor Herbert wrote the music for a 1908 operetta based in Winsor McCay’s Little Nemo, and the classic Broadway musical of Al Capp’s Li’l Abner premiered in 1956.

The Walt Disney Company’s first effort to adapt one of its animated films to the Broadway stage was Beauty and the Beast in 1994. With its talking animals, it might have seemed impossible to translate The Lion King to the stage. Rather than attempt the hopeless task of persuasively disguising her cast as realistic animals, director Julie Taymor triumphed in her 1991 Broadway production by imaginatively emphasizing theatrical artifice. Some members wore animal masks or costumes that did not conceal their real faces. Other animals, including various principal characters, were represented by puppets, yet the puppeteers remained clearly visible. Through such means Taymor openly acknowledged that she was dealing in make-believe and was inviting the audience to participate in the process by using their imaginations to pretend that the puppets and masked figures onstage were real animals. It worked brilliantly, and the Broadway Lion King was and remains a tremendous artistic and commercial success. (Taymor is reportedly currently working on a Spider-Man stage musical, which will include a group of singing comics fans known as “the Geek Chorus” who recount Spider-Man’s history. I do not feel complimented.)

Walt Disney Theatricals has launched other stage versions of past Disney animated or partly animated films, such as Tarzan (see “Comics in Context” #133: “Swinging down Broadway”) and Mary Poppins (see “Comics in Context” #158: “Jolly Holiday”), but each time has fallen short of the standards set by Taymor’s Lion King. The latest of these is the new Broadway musical version of The Little Mermaid, and I did promise a while back to review it for this column. Unfortunately, I’ve decided against it. In large part this is due to my current financial straits, and also, thanks to my recent software upgrades on my computer, to the encyclopedic video resources of the Internet. On YouTube it’s easy to find videos of the Broadway Mermaid‘s versions of the best known musical numbers from the animated film, but the stagings are in each case disappointing. For example, in the film “Under the Sea” is sung to a rollicking montage of dancing fish that builds to a climactic spectacle. In the Broadway Mermaid performers move around on skates in order to convey the impression of swimming, and following the Taymor mode, their costumes do not conceal their faces. Even so, in this Good Morning, America clip of “Under the Sea”, the performers seem to ne no more than they really are–weirdly costumed humans performing surprisingly conventional choreography–rather than somehow, through movement, costume and acting, conjuring a world of frolicking fish in the imagination. And if I can tell from the videos that the Broadway Mermaid can’t pull off the big musical numbers from the animated film, then odds are that I’d find the show as a whole disappointing. It would cost at least to but a ticket for Mermaid, and in my current financial state, the gamble doesn’t seem with it.

But a while back, before my current situation arose, I purchased a less expensive advance ticket to another current Broadway show, which provides an amazing new twist on the theme of combining the world of animation and the world of reality. This show employs computer animation directly on stage. Most of you are surely aware of how movie actors perform in front of “green screens” so that CGI animation or computer-generated backgrounds can be inserted later. Imagine attending a Broadway show in which the actors perform against projected CGI backgrounds and interact with CGI characters!

In “Comics in Context” I write about comics and cartoon art in their various forms, and any related subjects: for example, a live action film adaptation of comics material is fair game. Sometimes it may seem like a bit of a stretch to include a particular subject within this column’s purview. Longtime readers may recall that one week in my column I wrote about waiting outside Manhattan’s Symphony Space to see a panel discussion with Buffy the Vampire Hunter creator Joss Whedon and the great Broadway composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim; I never got in, but the panel discussion was broadcast outside through speakers, so at least I got to hear and report on it (see “Comics in Context” #77: “Gone with the Steam”). Now what did this have to do with comics and cartoons? Well, Whedon has written extensively in comics, including Astonishing X-Men for Marvel (see “Comics in Context”#42: “Joss Whedon’s Comics and Stories”), and his current Buffy “Season 8” comics series for Dark Horse. But Sondheim? Well, if I push a point, he did write the songs for the 1990 Dick Tracy movie and even lyrics for a song for off-Broadway’s The MAD Show, inspired by MAD Magazine, back in 1966. But now I’ve got a better answer: it is the Roundabout Theatre Company’s new production of Sondheim’s and book writer James Lapine’s 1984 musical Sunday in the Park with George, at Manhattan’s Studio 54, that employs animation so astonishingly onstage.

(Yes, that’s right. I can now claim to have been to the notorious Studio 54 three times, albeit long after its days as a notorious discotheque. Before that, it was a CBS radio and television studio that was once home to The Jack Benny Program, What’s My Line? and even Captain Kangaroo. See here.)

The first act of the musical is about the 19-th century French neo-Impressionist painter Georges Seurat and the creation of his masterwork A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (Un dimanche apres-midi a l’Ile de la Grande Jatte), which now hangs in the Art Institute of Chicago. (Back in the 1980s, I attended the Chicago Comicon several tines, back when it was held in Chicago, not Rosemont, Illinois, and before Wizard bought it. By Sunday afternoon I would feel saturated with comics and would walk a few blocks up Michigan Avenue to the Art Institute, where I would spend most of my time in the museum’s world-class Impressionist collection, including La Grande Jatte.)

The scenes shift between Seurat’s studio and the setting of the painting, a park on an island in the Seine River in Paris. But the set looks like a large indoor room, complete with doors, but all in white, like a new canvas for a painter, or the blank white page that is supposed to intimidate the writer who is trying to get started, or even a blank computer screen. Seurat enters, makes verbal commands or gesture with his hands (like that archetypal figure, the conductor), and the room around him begins to change. A huge streak of black materializes on the walls, running across the set. An oddly tied white curtain, wide at the top, narrow below, suddenly bursts into colors, and thus transforms before our eyes into a tree. Before long, the walls of the set have transformed into what seems to be one of Seurat’s studies for La Grande Jatte in conte crayon, all in black and shades of gray. Rightly impressed by this opening coup de theatre, the audience burst into applause. But there was more to come: eventually, perhaps without the audience even noticing exactly when it happened, this preliminary version of La Grande Jatte blossomed into color.

This opening suggests that, even when the story is literally taking place within Seurat’s studio or on the island of La Grande Jatte, the real setting of the first act is Seurat’s imagination. Just as the evolving work that will become La Grande Jatte covers the walls of the set enclosing Seurat, Seurat is, figuratively, within his own painting. Seurat is consumed by his passion to create art; everything else, even his lover Dot, must take a secondary place. No matter where Seurat is physically, psychologically he exists within the world of art he is creating.

At two points during the show, the same point is made through simpler, less spectacular means. We see Seurat standing behind a semitransparent screen on which the evolving La Grande Jatte appears, as he works on it. The figure of Seurat–or, all of it that we can see–is completely contained within the frame of the painting. So Seurat looks as if he is inside the painting, working on it from within, while Dot, his neglected lover, can only gaze at them both from outside.

So the setting is ambiguous. Indeed, at one point Seurat decides to remove a tree from his painting (another curtain with projected color, which proceeds to move offstage). Shortly afterwards, Seurat’s mother, whom he uses as a model for one of the figures in La Grande Jatte, enters, presumably on the real island. But she then wonders aloud what happened to her favorite tree. It’s as if Seurat’s decision to dispose of the tree in his painting somehow altered the landscape of the real island.

The identities of most of the first act’s supporting cast of characters are similarly ambiguous. They are primarily supposed to be the real people who Seurat used as models for the figures in the painting, including Dot and Seurat’s mother. But at times these actors are playing not the models but the figures in the painting, as in the first act finale, when Seurat, acting as conductor or director, maneuvers them into the places they occupy in his finished painting. The second act opens with the song “It’s Hot,” in which the figures in the painting complain about having to remain frozen in place in the painting for year after year, as if they retained the personalities of their models.

Not every figure in La Grande Jatte is represented onstage by an actor. In the original 1984 production, the other prominent figures were represented by life-size three-dimensional cutouts. (The original production was shown on PBS in 1986, was made available on home video, and, chopped into over twenty sections, has been posted in YouTube, probably in violation of copyright.) In the course of the Roundabout production, animated sailboats sometimes pass along the river, and occasionally an animated human figure appears and moves in the background. There are two soldiers standing side by side in La Grande Jatte. In the Roundabout production one soldier is played by a live actor but the other is a CGI animated figure, which interacts with actors onstage. Seurat brings out small screens on which animated dogs appear, one of which scampers about merrily. (You can get some idea of what the production looks like from The New York Times‘s audio slide show here.)

The second act takes place a hundred years later, in the 1980s, and centers on Seurat’s (fictional) descendant George (played by the same actor who portrayed Seurat), an artist who finds himself in a creative rut. In the song “Putting it Together” this George explains how life in the modern art world forces him continually to network and schmooze with wealthy collectors, museum executives and art critics in order to obtain the commissions he needs to finance his work. In the original production the actor playing George moved life sized cutouts of himself into position on stage during a party scene. The idea was that these doppelgangers represented George’s public self, chatting away amiably with the people he needed to impress at the party, while the actor playing George represented his true, inner self, singing about his disdain for the necessity of having to sell himself in this manner. (You can see the original staging for “Putting It Together“.)

But in this new production George’s doppelgangers are moving, projected figures of himself. There is even a point at which the actor playing George pours a drink into a glass held by one of the projected George dopplegangers!

The reviews and articles about this Roundabout production put such emphasis in the animation that I expected more of it than there was. Still, I was impressed with what I saw. This production originated at the Menier Chocolate Factory, a small company in London, before transferring to the West End. In all three of its venues, the production was directed by Sam Buntrock, who was formerly best known as an animator. (See his February 2008 interview in The New York Times). Buntrock explains in a video on the Roundabout website that animation has been used in stage productions before (though it’s the first time I’ve seen it onstage) but what makes this production different is that the animation is integral to expressing the meaning of the show. Sondheim told The New York Times that “The play is about perception, and here we see the work as George perceives it,” as it evolves.

I’m surprised that I haven’t seen anything about this Sunday revival on animation websites I visit. Now that CGI animation has been used so effectively in a live stage production, where will it go from here? I would be surprised if Disney Theatrical Productions–and Disney Imagineering–were not studying Buntrock’s use of animation onstage and planning how to take it further, both in theme park attractions and onstage. I would have supposed that creating computer animation for a stage production is expensive, but maybe not, considering that this Sunday revival started out in such a small venue with a presumably low budget.

Would “Under the Sea” have worked better onstage with live action performers interacting with CGI fish? Is it possible that a future live action production of Mary Poppins could have a live action Bert dancing with animated penguins, recreating the number from the movie right in front of us? The animation in Sunday in the Park seems to me to be only the beginning of a new stage technology. How much further will it have advanced ten years from now?

Sunday in the Park with George is not simply about Seurat and his fictional descendant, but about the life of the creative artist, a theme that I’ve found in other works I’ve discussed in past installments of this column. Critics find autobiographical themes in Sunday: The New York Times‘ Ben Brantley wrote in his February 22, 2008 review that “As a portrait of the artist as an embattled and rejected man Sunday has been read as a sort of apologia pro vita sua by Mr. Sondheim”. If so, then perhaps Sunday also has autobiographical meaning for James Lapine, who wrote the show’s book and directed the original production. Seurat was a painter, but Sondheim the composer and Lapine the playwright can identify with him because they are all creative artists.

And I think of writing criticism as an art. I saw the original production in the 1980s and, though I admired it, I felt no emotional connection with the work. But perhaps that was because back then I thought of myself as a student. Now that I’ve been a professional writer for decades, upon experiencing Sunday again, I see all these connections to my own experience. If Seurat created his paintings from dots if color (using the pointillist technique he devised), and Sondheim creates music from individual notes, then each week I start with nothing–like the white set at Sunday‘s opening–and assemble one of these columns out of individual words, studying the works I review (as Seurat studied his models), forming ideas, developing them, discovering connections, and fitting my concepts together into an overall structure.

The show describes Seurat as having a “mission to see.” That captures the artist’s sense of duty to his or her art, to follow the muse wherever she takes him or her. (In the second act, when Dot appears to Seurat’s descendant to encourage him to pursue his art, she is not so much the “real” Dot as she us the personification of the muse.) As this musical shows, that sense of mission is so strong that it can outweigh practical concerns and even reduce personal relationships to secondary importance. Dot leaves Seurat, and his descendant George parts from his wife, probably in both cases because the artist’s devotion to his art takes first place. I can understand this sense of isolation as well; writing is a solitary task. Brantley’s reference to Seurat and Sondheim as “embattled” may be too strong a word, but in the show Seurat has to contend with people–a successful fellow artist (who, of course, is now forgotten) and even hs mother–who do not comprehend what he is attempting to do. (Why, it’s like people who are bewildered at the idea that someone would take the comics medium seriously and spend his life writing about it.)

Yet the show demonstrates that the artist’s life of devotion to his “mission” is a noble quest. One of the show’s songs is titled “Children and Art”, asserting that these are the proper legacies for any person to leave behind him. Seurat only inadvertently fathers a daughter, but his true legacy is his art, both through its own merits and as an inspiration to future artists (like Seurat’s descendant George) who will build upon this heritage. The first act of Sunday ends with Seurat arranging the other cast members into the positions the figures take in his finished composition, fixed “forever” as an enduring work of art, achieving transcendence. In the finale of the second act the figures from the painting reappear and bow to the 1980s George, encouraging him to follow his ancestor’s example and pursue his own new creative path.

In the final moments, the supporting cast leaves the stage, and the projections vanish, returning to the production’s original image of the blank white room. But this is not an image of emptiness; rather, the 1980s George gasps with joy, seeing possibilities for creating something new out of this blank slate. It’s like that famous saying of Michelangelo’s, that the sculpture he created was already in the block of marble he started with, and he merely had to uncover it.

Should a writer or a creative artist of any kind need reassurance that he or she has embarked in the right path, and need inspiration to go further, that person should see this show.

My only qualm about Sunday is that it seems to insist that the creative artist’s life must be a solitary one. (In Seurat’s darkest moment in Sunday, he agrees to let Dot and her new husband care for his–Seurat’s–own daughter because he “cannot look up from my pad” to be a proper father.) I may live by myself, but certainly I know plenty of creative people who have kids and significant others. Indeed, one of the main points of Mark Evanier’s new biography and art book Kirby: King of Comics is that Kirby had two principal motivations in life: to pursue his artistic goals, but also to support his wife and children. In Sunday Seurat speaks of “balance” as one of his artistic virtues. Jack Kirby evidently found the balance between art and family that the Seurat of Sunday was incapable of achieving.

I began my commentary on Kirby: King of Comics months ago, but agreed to postpone the rest until after the book had come out and you all had a chance to read it. If all goes according to plan, next week I will resume my Kirby review.

Last fall’s Disney musical film Enchanted, which came out on DVD this week, provides yet another clever variation on the themes of mixing live action with animation and forging links between the cartoon world and the world of reality. I’ve read some negative comments to the presentations of the three nominated songs from Enchanted at this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. Granted, the songs may not work well out of the context of the film, but this should not stop anyone from seeing the movie, which is a delight.

Like DreamWorks Animation’s Shrek movies, Enchanted satirizes the long tradition of Disney animated features, especially those adapting classic fairy tales. But unlike the increasingly crass and unfunny Shrek movies (see “Comics in Context” #186: “Le Petit Chef”), Enchanted is not only genuinely witty and imaginative, but also succeeds in revivifying that sane tradition for a 21st century audience, demonstrating that it isn’t outdated after all.

The movie opens in a cartoon world that evokes Disney’s Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, and yes, it is presented in traditional, “2-D,” hand-drawn animation. Not long ago, the conventional wisdom was that hand-drawn animated features were dead, having been supplanted in the public’s affections by computer animated movies, and Disney even disposed of its old animation tables and other tools for making hand-drawn animation. Let’s hope that Enchanted, along with last year’s Persepolis and The Simpsons Movie (see “Comics in Context” #188: “D’ohme!”), signals that “2-D” animation isn’t a dead and obsolete artform in the realm of feature films after all.

Within the land of Andalasia in this cartoon world lives the film’s young heroine Giselle, who falls in love at first sight with a handsome prince, Edward, after he rescues her from a troll. But Edward’s archetypal wicked stepmother Narissa believes that if Edward marries, his bride will displace her as queen. Employing her sorcery to transform herself intro an old crone, Narissa pushes the unsuspecting Giselle down a well (rather like Snow White’s wishing well). Plunging through darkness (rather like Alice falling down the rabbit hole), Giselle emerges in the middle of Times Square in the real, “live action” world. What’s more, she has been transformed into a real, live action human being herself. Eventually other characters from the cartoon world will follow Giselle into the real world, including Prince Edward, Queen Narissa, her henchman Nathaniel, and Giselle’s chipmunk friend Pip. (In the cartoon world Pip could talk; in the “real world” he can’t, though he retains his human -level intelligence. In Andalasia Pip is a hand-drawn animated character, but in the “real world” he becomes a computer-animated figure, since CGI, in this film, reads as “real.”)

Last November I saw Robert Zemeckis’s Beowulf and Enchanted only one week apart, and I’ve come to think of them as opposites. The epic poem Beowulf, as it has come down to us, depicts an ideal hero. As I wrote in my review (“Comics in Context” #205: “Identity Theft”), one of the anonymous Beowulf poet’s themes “is to describe and commend the behavior of the “˜good king,’ the good leader of men, and, perhaps, the good man in general.” Zemeckis’s film reveals this supposedly good man as a fraud, a liar who succumbs to his lust for an enemy and who literally fathers the evil that later plagues his kingdom and brings about his own death. The Beowulf movie seems to suggest that the truly good man does not exist and never did, that stories of noble heroes are falsehoods, and that the high ideals of the Beowulf poet are merely delusions.

You might expect that Enchanted would similarly demolish the Disney fairy tale tradition. Once Giselle lands in New York City, the film puts this unworldly innocent though misery until she finally is taken in by the story’s leading man, single parent named Robert, whose profession, divorce lawyer, indicates that he doesn’t believe in anyone living happily ever after with his or her one true love. The movie continues to mock Giselle’s childlike naivete, gently but nonetheless pointedly. It seems impossible for her to fit into the real world. We associate the world of Disney animated features with childhood, so the real world must be that of adulthood. Giselle’s plight is a comic metaphor for someone struggling with the transition from childhood innocence to adapting to reality as an adult.

And yet Giselle not only succeeds in fitting in, but does so while remaining true to herself, and even triumphantly changes her new world for the better. Although she comes from a world in which magic is real, Giselle lacks any magic powers. Yet somehow her innate optimism, her capacity for joy, and her sheer goodness have a positive influence on the people-and even the animals–around her. In the musical number “Happy Working Song” Giselle enlists animals to help her clean Robert’s apartment, just as friendly animals aided Disney’s Snow White and Cinderella in their chores. In this case, though, since it’s in Manhattan, Giselle’s animal assistants include rats and pigeons. Visiting Robert’s office, Giselle weeps over a couple who are seeking a divorce and who seem to think she’s crazy, yet by the end of the movie the couple happily report that they’ve reconciled thanks to Giselle’s influence. In the movie’s musical high point, “That’s How You Know,” people in Central Park spontaneously form into a singing and dancing parade, with Giselle at their lead, inspired by her infectiously cheerful presence.

Giselle dies adapt to her new world by “growing up” in certain ways. She comes to recognize that she didn’t truly love her bubbleheaded suitor Prince Edward. A turning point comes when, in a clash with Robert, she realizes she has become angry for the first time in her life. Jungians would say she has tapped into the “shadow” side of her personality; having gotten in touch with her anger, she will no longer be simply the passive potential princess, waiting for her prince to rescue her. Indeed, towards the film’s end, Giselle even pulls out a sword that had been struck into the floor (thereby mimicking the future King Arthur in Disney’s The Sword in the Stone) and goes to rescue her true love, Robert, from Narissa’s clutches.

But while Giselle rises above her naivete and passivity, she retains all of her many virtues: her empathy, her idealism, her great capacity for love, and her sheer goodness. If Zemeckis’s Beowulf contended that its epic hero was a fraud, Enchanted maintains that its heroine’s virtues are not only real but are viable even in the supposedly cynical world of the 21st century.

Amy Adams’ performance as Giselle is absolutely essential to the success of Enchanted. Although she brings out the comic side of Giselle’s childlike innocence and enthusiasms, she never ironically comments on the character. rather, Adams pulls off the miraculous feat of making Giselle’s unworldly goodness and innocence completely credible. Not only that, but in this role Adams exudes a sheer, irresistible lovability appropriate for a classic Disney heroine. As Manohla Dargis so vividly put it in the November 21, 2007 New York Times, “Ms. Adams doesn’t just bring her cartoonish character to life: she fills Giselle’s pale cheeks with blood and feeling, turning a hazardously cute gimmick into a recognizable, very appealing human confusion of emotion and crinoline. ”

In a December 13, 2007 interview for London’s Times Online, Enchanted director Kevin Lima explained that “With this movie I set out to make Mary Poppins. With that in mind, I had to throw away the mean tempered mockery. It has been done so much. The Shrek movies were very successful in turning the screws on Disney in that way. So I was looking for a new way.” Hence, as the reporter put it, “he managed to persuade the company that there was a way to make the film as a love letter rather than a cynical pastiche. The result is a film that, although a departure for Disney, also has a charming, old-fashioned innocence.”

Moreover, the Times states, “according to its director, Kevin Lima, it is effectively Disney’s first postmodern movie.”: Enchanted is filled with references to classic Disney features. Lima said “it became an obsession. Every single name had to somehow have a relation to Disney, every image had to relate back to the Disney iconography.”

Some of the references take the form of archetypal plot elements. For example, Narissa is a wicked queen who, like the one in Snow White, has a magic mirror, magically disguises herself as a crone, and administers a poisoned apple to the heroine. Longtime readers know that I’m an admirer of Susan Sarandon, who makes this wicked queen surprisingly sexier than her Disney prototypes. When Sarandon wears heavy old page makeup as the crone, I was struck by how recognizable her distinctively large eyes remain.) Robert proves himself to be Giselle’s true love–and surmounts his cynicism over “fairy tales”–by reviving this sleeping beauty with a kiss.

Watching the movie I spotted other references. Most viewers will recognize the voice of Julie Andrews, Disney’s Mary Poppins, as the narrator. But i was pleasantly surprised to see Jodi Benson, the voice of the animated Little Mermaid, turn up in the role of Robert’s secretary (complete with a fish tank in the office). Of course I noticed that the couple seeking a divorce in Enchanted were Mr. and Mrs. Banks, named after the dysfunctional parents in Poppins (see “Comics in Context” #160: “Banks’ Holiday”). There are numerous other allusions as well, many of which are catalogued in Enchanted‘s Wikipedia entry; it’s rather like decoding all the references in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

I received a big surprise when I discovered that throughout the film Lima and company duplicated visual compositions from classic Disney animated features. (You can find some examples here) Might this have a subliminal effect on viewers, especially those well versed in the Disney canon? It’s as if Lima and company are saying that these archetypal stories and characters still underlie modern reality, even if we are unaware of it.

That may be the ultimate lesson of Enchanted. We may live in an age disposed towards realism and irony, and yet, as Robert comes to learn in the course of the film, the archetypes of these great fairy tales still survive and continue to carry psychological and emotional power, even in the early 21st century, and even into our adult lives.

It shouldn’t surprise anyone who hasn’t yet seen Enchanted that Giselle and Robert end up living happily ever after together (presumably as husband and wife, though this is, surprisingly, not made explicit). I was amused to see that for two other characters in the film, their equivalent of living “happily ever after” is writing a book and getting to do a signing! Well, yes, I’m proud of being a published author, and I always enjoy doing signings of my new books. But as I well know, in most cases, unless you’re J. K. Rowling, a single book doesn’t pay the bills for very long. But I still appreciate the fact that Enchanted regards the publication of a book as a cause for celebration!

–Copyright 2008 Peter Sanderson

Win WALK THE LINE: EXTENDED CUT on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:52 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Fox Home Video, two (2) copies of WALK THE LINE: EXTENDED CUT on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Thursday, March 27th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Thursday, March 27th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/20/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:35 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 19, 2008

Party Favors: Hello Colin Farrell

Filed under: Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:10 am

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DUBLIN, IRELAND – According to creepy sources, Colin Farrell is addicted to googling his name to see what people are saying about him.

With that news, we at Party Favors say, “Hello Colin Farrell!” We’d also like to know when you plan on returning the 17 cigarettes, five shots of the good stuff and two “those things” that you borrowed from us.

WHAT FILMS HAVE YOU MADE?

There should be extra excitement in announcing that a documentary I helped produce is playing this year’s New Directors / New Films at New York City’s Lincoln Theater and the MOMA. But I was shafted. My screen credit was buried beneath the “people who were interviewed, but didn’t appear on camera” thanks to a little lying bitch of a director. I’m not going to beg you to see the film. Since the little lying bitch director thinks my contribution to his vision is that insignificant, he gets no love from the Party Favors. I’m not even going to name this drama queen since he’s that pathetic. The little lying bitch of a director still owes me.

HASN’T HE DONE THIS BEFORE?

What’s so unusual about Steve-O being on suicide watch? Isn’t his entire career all about doing suicidal stunts that we watch? Hasn’t enough of his self-destructive ways been documented and exploited in the Jackass movies? Reports have his friends shocked to see burns on his arms like he was putting out cigarettes on his flesh. Really? Like? Did any of his close friends not see him shoot bottle rockets out of his rectum? His friends thought nothing was wrong when Steve-O repeatedly stapled his scrotum to his thigh? Or that he made ads for gum by swallowing dirt? Are those the actions of a truly sane man? Do people list those activities on their applications to work at the Post Office?

The man has made millions doing crap that the average kid’s mother would declare, “Are you trying to kill yourself?” Why did his family and friends let him get away with this crap? And why did they really have to make it stop now? Maybe it is callous to not be concerned for Steve-O, but his “art” isn’t based off doing sensible things. Did Johnny Knoxville and the Jackass family decide it was time to stage an intervention when Steve O destroyed his apartment and posted the footage online without any chance of making money off the carnage? Heaven forbid Steve O. has a suicidal moment that isn’t pay-per-view. Judging from reports on the various substances Jackass members abused during their 24 hour marathon takeover of MTV, the whole crew needs to be cleaned up. Doesn’t Viacom perform piss tests on their talent?

After Steve O was admitted to the hospital, a health professional declared the reality star as bi-polar. Any PSY 101 survivor could diagnose that after two episodes of Wildboyz. The nice thought is that if Steve-O is cured, we’ll have one less reality star clogging up the cable box. Or does this merely mean one more resident on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab 2? We never win…do we?

DVD SHELF

The writers strike might have ended, but that doesn’t keep me from being hypnotized by shiny silver discs. There’s plenty of goodness on the DVD shelf.

Kite Runner deals with two boys growing up in Afghanistan before the Soviets invaded. Amir’s father is rich and his friend Hassan’s dad work on the estate. The two bond as a kite fighting team. Unfortunately an ugly moment splits up their friendship. Amir and his father escape to America after the Soviet tanks roll into Afghanistan. Even in sunny California, Amir is haunted by the dark secret about what happened to Hassan. He must find his kite fighting partner. While this seems like a children’s movie with the kite action, but it’s really for adults. This film can be nightmare inducing to an elementary school student. As Amir’s father, Homayoun Ershadi strikes a compelling figure on the screen. Strange that he wouldn’t land a few Best Supporting Actor nominations.

The film flips between a variety of languages so there’s plenty of subtitle action. Is it complete blasphemy for wishing they had created an English dub track? In the film, the two kids go to a theater to see The Magnificent Seven. Charles Bronson doesn’t talk in English on their screen. If the kids don’t watch subtitled films, why should we? Why can’t we have the dub option on the DVD. It gets annoying to go from listening to the film to reading it without much warning.

Bee Movie is perfect for those needing their Seinfeld fix. An animated bee gets upset when he discovers that humans are stealing honey. He goes to court to stop the honey industry (including Ray Liotta) from their evil practices. He learns a hard lesson about how exploiting bees is good for the eco-system. Patrick Warburton is pitch perfect in the role of the frustrated human who finds his woman emotionally involved with an insect. It’s nice to have Puddy and Jerry swapping lines even if it is through CGI mouths. The film deserves a Colbert Seal of Approval since it attacks the honey industry’s “friendly bear” lies. There’s plenty of live action weirdness as bonus material on the discs. You get the “TV Juniors” hosted by Seinfeld that aired last year on NBC. These shorts give us a comical look at what goes into making an animation film. There is also footage of Jerry’s historic bee flight at Cannes.

Enchanted is your best bet to make your woman feel special during the NCAA tourney. Surprise her with the DVD and announce, “If I was really ignoring you for college basketball, would I have remembered this?” Then send her off to watch it on the bedroom TV. You need the big set to take in the hard court action. Enchanted has Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) fall into the harsh reality of Manhattan by her Prince’s evil stepmother (Susan Sarandon). She survives in the city by hooking up with a divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsey) and his daughter. Fans of The Wire will be delighted to see Sen. Clay Davis (Isiah Whitlock Jr.) as a client. Since this is a Disney film, he has to refrain from his trademark word so you might not recognize him. Sarandon is a perfect evil stepmother. I’d bite her apple. Enchanted ultimately marks the complete Disney-fiction of New York City as the Big Apple becomes the new Magic Kingdom. For all the time the character roam through Times Square, not once to they encounter any of the Disney films that are now stage shows on Broadway. Amy Adams is wonderfully flighty in the role. For all the mushy talk about true love, there’s a great scene where rats, pigeons and roaches clean an apartment. I wish my rats could wash dishes.

South Park: Imaginationland is a three episode story arc about Cartman’s burning desire to have Kyle suck his balls. There is more talk about ball sucking than any DVD not starring Jeff Stryker. Beyond the constant talk about ball sucking, the subplot is terrorists have decided to invade “Imaginationland.” It’s the home of all cartoon creatures of our youth. The terrorists bust down the wall between the good and evil sides of the kingdom. There will only be nightmares for us. Although I don’t quite get why Count Chocula is on the nice side of the barrier. He’s a vampire with fangs! How is that not evil? The most evil of the animated characters turn out to be the Woodland Critters. There’s also the return of Al Gore’s dreaded Manbearpig. The boys have to liberate the good side of Imaginationland before the government nukes it. Prepare to be overwhelmed by this three episodes that riff off Lord of the Rings and Stargate when we’re not being overwhelmed with Cartman’s ball sucking desires. As a bonus, they’ve included “The Woodland Critter Christmas” and “Manbearpig” so in case you missed those episodes you won’t be out on the jokes.

The Wild Wild West: The Fourth Season wraps up one of my favorite Western series. This show brought together the rugged cowboy with the sleek super agent. Robert Conrad was a true TV stud in the role of James West. The man could hunt down evil villains and hook up with hot women without falling off his horse. Ross Martin plays fellow Secret Service agent Artemus Gordon. This fourth season wasn’t good for Ross as real health problems kept him off several episodes. Fans of Gilligan’s Island will rejoice while watching “The Night of Sabatini’s Death.” Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper) is West’s temporary partner. As an added bonus Jim Backus (Thurston Howell III) is part of the mystery. Guess Bob Denver was busy that week. The only letdown of the final season is that there was only one episode featuring Dr. Loveless. Hopefully in the future they’ll release the two reunion movies. But for now I’m thrilled to have all the episodes on the DVD shelf.

The Untouchables: Season 2, Volume 1 reminds us that without Eliot Ness, America would have been completely controlled by Al Capone and Frank Nitti. Robert Stack had the ultimate law and order attitude when he put on Eliot Ness’ three piece suit of justice. “The Big Train” is a two hour special about how Ness created Alcatraz. Do not use that as an answer on your history exam. “The Rusty Heller Story” allows Elizabeth Montgomery to twist everyone around her pinky. “Jack ‘Legs’ Diamond” has Steven Hill ventilate a trucker while dancing around his jealous mob comrades. If you like Prohibition era gangster action, The Untouchables keeps the goodness brewing.

Becker: The First Season contains Ted Danson’s big TV comeback after Cheers. Ted took a role that put him in the one place ex-Redsox Sam Malone would never reside: The Bronx. In the shadow of Yankee Stadium lurked Dr. John Becker. Instead of being a sweet doctor in the Marcus Welby M.D. school, Becker is a pain in the ass to everyone. He also has no luck with the ladies. There’s no confusing this show with Cheers. He’s a brilliant blowhard with a soft gooey center that he reserves for those special moments. He was Larry David before Curb Your Enthusiasm hit HBO.

PRESIDENTIAL TRIVIA

What Presidential candidate be hounded by the press over the rumors that I have stayed overnight in their daughter’s apartment?

Answer: The one who avoids me giving the answer by smartly appointing me to be Ambassador to Hawaii. Since Hawaii is a state, it’ll avoid any chances of me causing an international incident. Thus the answer can be “win-win” if you play my game, future president. My job would be to oversee construction of the giant Don Ho and Jack Lord statues over Honolulu.

IFCEE YOU LATER

Is the programmer at the Independent Film Channel wondering why there’s one less subscriber to his station? IFC is no longer on my cable box because he decided to schedule Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Why do I need to pay extra for a channel that’s going to run the same crap as TBS? He might argue that Austin Powers is somehow as indie as John Cassevete’s Killing of a Chinese Bookie, but I’m not listening. Ya baby. If Austin is Indie, that means Lord of the Rings is also an indie product from New Line (part of the Time-Warner family). Maybe if Austin Powers was made when New Line was merely owned by Ted Turner, I’d almost give you a second chance. But Ted sold New Line (along with his other holdings to Time-Warner in 1995. That’s before Mike Myers went into production, baby.

What is the point of pushing a channel that supposed to appeal to the art house crowd with the Fembots and Shagular? What’s next? Big Daddy and The Wedding Singer? Why not run a Chuck Norris marathon? He’s got more f’n indie cred with all his Cannon titles produced by Yoram Globus and Menahem Golan than Mike Myers.

You want to pander to the multiplex masses; do it on your own dime, IFC. Why not start running House of Payne and Frank TV to beef up your ratings?

I feel bad at yanking IFC since they did run Split Screen which featured a few short documentaries I made including this one:

But that was years ago. Now IFC seems to be as mission-less as BBCAmerica with their rerunning the American version of Dancing with the Stars. And don’t get cocky, Sundance Channel. I’m not swapping over. The Iconoclasts series is worthless. Do we really need to see an hour long tongue bath between two famous personalities? “You’re the genius!” “No. You’re the genius.” “Tell me about your genius!” “You’re genius is in your asking me about my genius cause I’m not nearly the genius you are.” What was the point of having Mario Batali eat with Michael Stipe and his vegan pals? So you guys could have Bono appear in the channel? I want to eat Mario’s meat. That didn’t come out right.

SORRY SWAYZE

Last column I joked about how the Oscars needed to have a psychic predict what movie stars will be dead before the next ceremony. Little did I predict that Patrick Swayze’s cancer would dominate the headlines.

When I was a single guy, Patrick Swayze didn’t mean that much. Sure we’d get liquored up and watch Road House and Red Dawn, but it wasn’t done out of pure hero worship. He wasn’t the American Sonny Chiba. Upon being married, you legally have to share custody of the remote control with your wife. Swayze becomes your secret drinking buddy during these helpless times. Ladies like to watch Dirty Dancing no matter what channel is running it, what time it comes on and the last time they saw it. Once Baby pops up on the screen, you’re viewing day has been decided for the next two hours. That’s when find respect for Swayze as an actor. He’s much better company than Freddie Prinze Jr. You also get to see Swayze in Ghost and To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. The ladies love those films. Remember not to get drunk while watching Dirty Dancing with your woman cause you might accidentally say, “Honey, if you really wanted a threesome with two guys, and me and the other guy didn’t have to touch, I wouldn’t mind Patrick Swayze joining us.”

If you have a chance, send some love to the Swayze to help him recover. Just don’t let him know that you told your wife about the threesome weirdness cause he might not understand that you were really drunk when told her about that. Damn you, Charles Shaw!

Also if you have some extra love, drop it in an envelope to Sydney Pollack. The director of Tootsie isn’t doing well according to my sources. His Sketches of Frank Gehry was really good documentary. I’m looking forward to seeing him make more non-fiction films or any film that isn’t The Interpreter 2.

TAKE THE BALD GUY BOWLING

I’m hooked on ESPN’s PBA coverage. Who isn’t down with Rhino Page when he hits the lane? Maybe Pete Weber has a beef with him? After too many Sundays on the sofa, I wanted to live the PBA life. It was time hit the lanes on a Friday night in order to receive the chant of “hambone!”

Like the future feared in The Terminator, computers have taken over the 21st century bowling alley. No longer do you sit at the desk by the ball return to record strikes, spares and gutterballs with a grease pencil on the clear plastic score card. The handwritten stats are no longer are projected above the lane. Now there’s a tiny keyboard on a stand that has you enter in the player’s name. A flat screen TV keeps track of who is up and what’s the score. They removed the math element from the game which is good after your second pitcher of Yuengling.

Besides keeping score, the computer explains how to throw the ball to nail the spare. A majority of my second chance save opportunity instructions resembled Senator Arlene Specter’s Warren Commission Magic Bullet Theory. Lee Harvey Oswald couldn’t have performed the instructions given to me. The ball had to change direction three times and pins must execute Jackie Chan level flips to tag the remaining pins for a majority of my spares. Even Sen. Specter would have admitted that I’d need bowlers on the grassy knoll to nab the remaining pins. The Rhino can roam free knowing that my PBA dreams now involve the Pro Basketweaving Association.

RED HOODIE

Speaking of conspiracies that are overseen by Sen. Specter; Spygate is going to get extra freaky soon.

According to a highly placed source that watches CSPAN2 as part of community service, Sen. Specter’s spending most of his waking hours collecting evidence on the NFL as part of his Spygate investigation. Specter is obsessed with proving that the New England Patriots cheated when they beat his Philadelphia Eagles in the Superbowl. He wants to be the MVP that brings the Lombardi Trophy to Lincoln Field via a DQ. But Specter might contribute to an NFL cover up. If what’s rumored on the internet is true, the senator has evidence that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ordered Patriots coach Bill Belichick to take a dive in this year’s Superbowl as the ultimate penalty for Spygate. A drunk typist with the internet access swears Belichick sent a signal to his friends and major gamblers that he was being forced to lose when he came out wearing a red hoodie. Why else would a man who had always worn a grey hoodie switch up his look for the biggest game of his career? If you believe what the NFL rules as lies, the red hoodie was Belichick symbolic way of showing that his football genius had been slaughtered by Goodell. Will Sen. Specter dare suggest that the NFL might be as legit as the WWE? That Roger Goodell can control the outcome of his league like when Vince McMahon determines the belt holders at the end of Wrestlemania? Will the senator that drew up the single bullet theory hide any of the Red Hoodie evidence? Or will Goodell promise Specter that 2009 will be the year the Eagles finally win the Superbowl? All our sources have been checked through the Magic 8-Ball that said “It Is Decidedly So!”

ANOTHER SWEATSUIT NIGHTMARE

During the Big East tourney, it was quite distressing to see former Georgetown coach John Thompson wearing the Michael Jordan “Jumpman” logo on his warmup jacket. Does he not remember what Jordan did to his Hoyas in the NCAA Tourney finals in 1982? Twenty six years ago, Jordan put a dagger in the heart of Patrick Ewing and Sleepy Floyd. How can he wear Jordan above his heart? Does Carl Yastrzemski wear a “Bucky Dent Rules” t-shirt when he watches Redsox games? Does Jeff Gordon race with his lucky Tony Stewart boxer shorts? Thompson can respect Jordan, but to promote the man that took a championship ring off his finger? It’s just sad. This was a moment when a sports figure should have draped a flag around his shoulders to block an evil logo. Maybe Thompson can wear a Villanova ’85 NCAA Champs while cheering the Hoyas in Raleigh.

Win THE SEEKER on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:38 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Fox Home Video, five (5) copies of THE SEEKER on DVD.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Wednesday, March 26th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 26th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/19/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:07 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 18, 2008

Win ENCHANTED on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:27 pm

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, two (2) copies of ENCHANTED on DVD.

An acclaimed new Disney classic with a hilarious twist casts a heartwarming spell when Enchanted comes to stunning Blu-ray High Definition and DVD on March 18, 2008 from Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment. Shining a witty and charming new light on a beloved genre, Enchanted is a modern day musical fairytale filled with uproarious surprises that the entire family will enjoy again and again. Both the Blu-ray Disc and DVD boast a vast kingdom of entertaining bonus features, including the trivia based BD-Java feature “The D-Files” available only on Blu-ray Disc.

Check out a clip HERE.

Contest ends at midnight EST on Tuesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/18/2008

Filed under: Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:56 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds…

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March 17, 2008

Cabin Fever #16: To Be Sure

Filed under: Cabin Fever — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:02 pm

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cabin.jpgOh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #16: To Be Sure – Recorded on the eve of St. Patrick’s Day, also known around the world as drinking day, our not-so-dynamic duo are both hungover and in the mood for mischief. They take on the task of bringing news of a… private matter from around the world, while also settling some scores with young upstarts trying to move in on their turf. Don’t understand? Listen on. You’ll also have the pleasure of listening to music from Insane Ian B, The Impersonals, and a return of Joel Moss. Don’t forget our “Cabin Fever: Clothe Us” competition – check the forum for details. Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #16 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/cabinfever/cabin_fever_16.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

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