Tag: russell crowe

  • Weekend Shopping Guide 8/8/14: Phantom Of The Satellite Of Love

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    (Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

    Not even a guilty pleasure, I am utterly delighted that Brian de Palma’s quirky glam rock epic Phantom Of The Paradise (Shout Factory, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$29.93 SRP) has made its high definition debut in a special edition befitting its oddball genius. Did I mention that all of the tunes are by the mighty Paul Williams, at the top of his power as a songwriter? Well, there you go. Sold. Bonus materials include a new audio commentary, interviews, alternate takes, a song outtake, the theatrical trailer, TV & radio spots, and a still gallery.

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    If there’s one thing that the folks at Sideshow and Hot Toys prove again and again, it’s that you can’t have too many of a given character, whether it be 50 different armor variations of Iron Man, or the now half-dozen variations of The First Avenger, Captain America. The reason they get away with it, and why fans continue to snap them up, is because they continue to look absolutely fantastic. Case in point is the Golden Age Captain America from The Winter Soldier (Sideshow Collectibles, $209.99), which is essentially a variant of the WWII era outfit featured in the first film, improving and streamlining various design elements, most noticeably the welcome addition of the central read stripe on the front of his costume (yes, these kind of things matter). It may not be loaded with accessories outside of his shield and some additional hands, but hey – that’s enough for me.

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    It is with remarkable speed and wondrous diligence that the fine folks at Shout Factory have continued their clockwork releases of classic MST3K on DVD, which means we’re already to Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXX (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$59.97 SRP). That’s right – We’ve actually gotten 30 4-episode volumes of riffing, with the latest containing the final 1st season episode The Black Scorpion, the 5th season episode Outlaw, the 9th season episode The Projected Man, and the 10th season episode It Lives By Night. Bonus materials include a special preview of Trace Beaulieu’s forthcoming short film The Frank and a clutch of featurettes.

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    Considering they had to deal with two major cast departures, a major new addition to the cast, plus re-piloting the premise all while bringing show creator Dan Harmon back to the fold for a truncated half-season, it’s no terrible surprise that the fifth season of Community (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$35.99 SRP) is an uneven ride. By the end of its 13 episodes, it feels like everyone involved have got their sea legs back, which should make the 6th season on Yahoo a more sure-footed affair. On the bonus feature front, there’s a great little featurette on the animated GI Joe episode, outtakes, and a brilliant documentary looking at the writing process of the D&D episode and the fallout of said process.

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    Some elements of the film haven’t aged quite so well, but the directorial debut of screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan, The Big Chill (Criterion, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.95 SRP) still packs a powerful emotional punch, as a group of old friends coming together after years apart will always resonate. The new Criterion edition features a new high definition transfer, a new cast reunion, a new interview with Kasdan, a 1998 making-of documentary, deleted scenes, a trailer, and the usual quite fine Criterion essay booklet.

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    The fine folks over at Warner Bros. have put together another of their fantastic themed film collections, this time providing a nice 6-film overview to an Academy Award-winning legend with the Grace Kelly Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$34.96 SRP), featuring To Catch A Thief, The Country Girl, The Bridges At Toko-Ri, Dial M For Murder, High Society, and Mogambo, plus the exclusive documentary Princess Grace De Monaco: A Moment In Time. Brilliant.

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    Like cars? Like cars going really fast? Like Aaron Paul? Don’t need much else from a film? Then Need For Speed (Touchstone, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) is the fast car film starring Aaron Paul for you, as Aaron Paul drives cars fast throughout. Bonus materials include an audio commentary , deleted scenes, and featurettes.

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    Off most people’s radar thanks to the overwhelming nature of Pixar and Dreamworks, Fox’s Rio 2 (Fox, Rated G, 3D Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP) proves to be a charming continuation of a surprisingly appealing debut, as Blu & Jewel take their three kids on a journey down the Amazon. Bonus materials include featurettes, a deleted scene, and a music video.

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    As disaster porn goes, Darren Aronofsky’s ponderous biblical ballyhoo Noah (Paramount, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) ranks right up there with the works of Roland Emmerich, with its equal balance between farcical heavy-handedness and memorably over-the-top visuals. Beyond that, it’s really not much to hang your hat on, but is perfect viewing for a lazy summer evening. Bonus materials include a trio of featurettes.

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    Their cleverness varies, but there is a basic level of fun to be had in LEGO Chima: Chi, Tribes, And Betrayals – Season One Part Two (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.97 SRP), which collects the next 10 episodes of the battle for the Chi.

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    Jude Law as a short-fused safecracker out to collect on a debt after a stint in prison is what makes Dom Hemingway (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$27.98 SRP) and enjoyably cracking affair that has quite a bit of the same verve as Sexy Beast. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, interviews, and featurettes.

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    Mark the 100th anniversary of the Great War with the 5-disc The War Zone Centennial Anniversary Series: WWI – The War To End All Wars (EagleVision, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), which brings together a series of documentaries focusing on all aspects of the conflict.

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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  • Weekend Shopping Guide 2/22/13: Argo Game Your Thrones

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    (Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

    I admit that there was some worry that the second season of Game Of Thrones (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$79.98 SRP) would drop the ball after a pretty stellar first season, as the movement into George RR Martin’s second novel greatly increases the number of subplots and locations and could have been a compromised mess. Thankfully, although there are plenty more changes from the books this go round, what has wound up on screen is still a tight, enjoyable journey into Martin’s world, and merely whets the appetite for the events to come in season 3. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, featurettes, and a lovely clutch of animated pieces illuminating the histories of the characters and events referenced.

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    There are plenty of ways so outrageous a true story as the CIA actually creating a cover story involving the production of a fake Hollywood film in order to smuggle diplomats out of Iran after the revolution could have gone wrong – from being too ham-fisted to too light – but Argo (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP) manages to sidestep all of those pitfalls and instead present a brilliant re-creation of a so-bizarre-it’s-true tale. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, a PiP feature integrating actual eyewitness stories, and a handful of featurettes detailing the history and its cinematic translation.

    Timed to coincide with the release of the sequel Monsters University, Pixar’s recent 3D conversion of the original Monsters, Inc. (Disney, Rated G, 3D Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP) arrives on home video, looking every bit as snazzy as their other recent 3D conversions, and loaded with not only all of the bonus features from the original Blu-Ray special edition, but adding the new Toy Story Toon “Partysaurus Rex”. Now hurry up and give us Wall-E and The Incredibles in 3D!

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    Based on Michael Dobbs’ best-selling political thrillers and brilliantly adapted by screenwriter Andrew Davies, the original UK House Of Cards (BBC, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP) gets a remastered special edition to coincide with the recent US remake. Bonus features on this new edition include audio commentaries, an interview with Davies, and a tour of Parliament.

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    In what I can only hope is a precedent that starts a trend, the missing episodes of the William Hartnell 1st Doctor story contained in the new release of Doctor Who: The Reign Of Terror (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) have been brought to life via newly-animated episodes utilizing the still-surviving audio, which means that fans can finally experience both sound and vision for the numerous stories – many of which are during Patrick Troughton’s 2nd Doctor run – for which the original film was foolishly destroyed by the BBC. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, featurettes, galleries, and more.

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    Nicholas Meyer’s superbly written pairing of Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud in The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (Shout Factory, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$26.99 SRP) finally gets the beautiful high definition presentation is deserves, along with a new interview with Meyer. If you’ve never seen this flick, do so.

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    The easiest way to describe The Thieves (Well Go USA, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.98 SRP) is to think of it as a Hong Kong Ocean’s 11, with 10 master criminals assembling to pull off the heist of their lives – a 318-carat diamond locked away in a casino. It’s a nifty little pic, natch. Bonus materials include a pair of featurettes and a trailer.

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    It’s a classic TV bonanza – which is rather fitting considering one of the shows getting another season released this week, namely Bonanza: The Fifth Season Volume 1 & Volume 2 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP each), featuring all 34 episodes of the Cartwright clans 5th year. Also arriving is the second volume of the 7th season of Gunsmoke (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98, containing 17 episodes, plus preview trailers and sponsor materials. Finally, we get Matlock: Season 8 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99, starring the late Andy Griffith as the folksiest of folksy southern lawyers.

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    I’m still not a terribly big fan of retrofitted 3D, but when it comes to a big, flashy 80’s popcorn flick like Top Gun (Paramount, Rated PG, 3D Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), I’ll relax my aversion enough to go along with the ride, as that’s entirely what the experience amounts to – in all the good ways. The film has also received a visual and audio upgrade to go with the 3D, meaning it’s never looked or sounded better. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, a making-of documentary, featurettes, storyboards with optional commentary, music videos, TV spots, Tom Cruise interviews, and more.

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    Jean and Laurent De Brunhoff’s king of the elephants makes his feature debut in Babar: The Movie (E1, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), which finds the titular monarch on a quest to save the future Queen Celeste and outwit the machinations of Rataxes while freeing Elephantland.

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    The folks at the Smithsonian Channel have released a new pair of documentaries, covering both the natural world and the world of pop culture. On the pop side, you’ve got The Origins Of Oz (Smithsonian, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), which examines the formation of L. Frank Baum’s Oz mythology, while Undersea Edens (Smithsonian, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) features a clutch of programs focusing on the natural beauty beneath the waves.

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    Fox rolls out the next in their line of prestige “20th Century Fox Studio Classics” with the high definition release of Otto Preminger’s legendary noir Laura (Fox, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP), about the investigation behind the murder of the titular bombshell (Gene Tierney). Bonus materials include a pair of audio commentaries, A&E Biography episodes featuring Tierney and Vincent Price, a deleted scene, and more.

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    Every once in awhile, you have to cleanse your blockbuster-heavy cinema palette with a lovely little character piece like The Sessions (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP), which focuses on a poet-journalist (John Hawkes), paralyzed and confined to an iron lung since childhood, who receives the help of his sympathetic therapist (Helen Hunt) and his priest (William H. Macy) to overcome yet another bit of adversity by losing his virginity at age 38. Bonus materials include deleted scenes and featurettes.

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    There may be eight million stories in the Naked City (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), but you’ll find at least 20 in the complete first season of this landmark police drama that features a who’s-who of up-and-coming talent, including Gene Hackman, William Shatner, Dustin Hoffman, Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, and many, many more.

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    While the catalogue releases aren’t coming as fast & furious as they were at the end of last year, we’re still getting high definition upgrades of modern classics like The Insider (Touchstone, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$20.00 SRP), starring Russell Crowe as former tobacco executive Dr. Jeffrey Wigand who blows the whistle on his industry’s unethical practices with the help of 60 Minutes producer Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino) and Mike Wallace (Christopher Plummer). Bonus materials include an audio commentary, featurette, and scene exploration.

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    The Cohen Media Group has launched into a broad restoration project of some true cinema classics, the latest of which is a beautiful high definition presentation of 1924’s The Thief Of Bagdad (Cohen, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.98 SRP), which also includes an audio commentary and a featurette with rare photos. Add this to your must-buy list.

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    This week’s kid-friendly quota gets fulfilled by a pair of Nickelodeon titles perfect for the preschool set – Nickelodeon Favorites: Rootin’ Tootin’ Wild West! (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) and Let’s Learn: 123s & Let’s Learn: ABCs (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP each).

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    Try as I might, I still find the US version of Top Gear (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) a grating, lifeless affair lacking the eminently watchable charm of the UK’s triumvirate of Clarkson, May, & Hammond. Granted, I care not a tinker’s whit for cars, which makes my dependence on the affability of the hosts a key factor – and the US version just doesn’t have it. The 4-disc second season set contains deleted scenes and challenges, extended scenes, featurettes, and more.

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    Celebrate the anniversary of the James Bond film franchise with an exploration of its more iconic elements via Top Gear: 50 Years Of Bond Cars (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$9.95 SRP). Presented by Richard Hammond, it looks at everything from the legendary Aston Martin DB5 to the AMC Hornet, with insight from the actors, filmmakers, and stuntmen.

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    It’s not a great show, but Cougar Town (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) remains consistently enjoyable as just a nice little comedy that’s good for a laugh. The third season keeps that same dependability, and is otherwise a bit of a blur. And a marriage. Bonus materials include deleted scenes and a blooper reel.

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    As a story, Fun Size (Nickelodeon, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) certainly doesn’t match the teen-romp-with-a-heart heyday of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or even Adventures In Babysitting, but Victoria Justice largely saves the day as a put upon daughter of an arrested development widowed mother and a dangerously precocious younger brother (Jackson Nicoll) whose hijinks after he disappears from his sister’s care on Halloween night drive the plot. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, featurettes, a gag reel, and a music video.

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    Ron Moore’s remake has its last hurrah with Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome (Universal, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$34.98 SRP) – a failed pilot set during the fist Cylon war, where we follow a young Adama as he’s assigned to the centerpiece of the Colonial fleet, the Galactica. Bonus materials include deleted scenes and a visual effects featurette.

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    I’m not entirely sure why The Factory (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$28.98 SRP) is only getting a standard DVD release, as it’s tight little crime thriller starring John Cusack as a police detective who faces a ticking clock to find his abducted daughter.

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    If you’re keen on watching a clutch of back-bayou folks bang around hunting gators, then look no further than Swamp People: Season 3 (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$ SRP), which collects all 22 episodes, plus 30 minutes of bonus footage featuring more drawling, swampy hijinks.

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    Mill Creek and their kid-friendly Cookie Jar imprint have released another batch of family titles from their immense catalogue – Beverly Hills Teens: Volume One (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$12.98 SRP), Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors: Volume 2 (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$12.98 SRP), the 12-film Family Movie Favorites collection (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP), and the 3-disc Collingwood O’Hare Collection (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP), featuring Eddy & The Bear, Rarg, and Animal Stories.

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    Audiences shrugged when the first part was released, but that massive failure surprisingly didn’t derail Atlas Shrugged: Part II (Fox, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP), which arrives via the direct-to-video route, jam-packed with all of Ayn Rand’s blinkered thinking intact. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, a featurette, and an extended Sean Hannity segment.

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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  • Opinion In A Haystack: Gift Cards For ROBIN HOOD

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    Homer: One adult and four children.

    Clerk: Would you like to buy some Itchy and Scratchy Money?

    Homer: What’s that?

    Clerk: Well it’s money that’s made just for the park. It works just

    like regular money, but it’s, er…”fun”.

    Bart: Do it, Dad.

    Homer: Well, OK, if it’s fun…let’s see, uh…I’ll take $1100 worth.

    [he walks in, sees all the signs: “No I&S Money”, “We Don’t take Itchy and Scratchy Money”, etc.]

    – The Simpsons

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    The following cries of insanity are not regarding credit cards, debit cards, traveler’s checks, Visa “pay-as-you-go” cards or any form of Gift Card that is of the unique nature of being worth slightly more than what the buyer paid out. Only straight-up 100% normal Gift Cards are applicable to this meandering stream of anger.

    Look, I’m not Michael Moore, I’m not some anti-capitalist kook. I’m no economist, politician, political commentator, business man, or bullshit artist. I’m Joe The Plumber, but with no bias, I’m just “JOE,” er”¦well, Bob, but you see metaphorically I’m him without a partisan slant, because”¦forget it”¦

    I LOATHE GIFT CARDS. LOATHE THEM.

    In no way is any anger directed at the businesses which offer the service of gift cards, I get why they do it. Target, Best Buy, Blockbuster, Walmart all want their own Itchy and Scratchy fun money, and reasonably so. Get the consumer to buy proprietary currency for other people, call it a “GIFT” and ensure future business whilst also already having their money in hand. No, I get it, and if I owned a business I would be forced to do it, but I am not an owner, I’m a consumer, and as “one who consumes” (recently cheeseburger flavored Doritos, guh,) I am entrenched in anger and disappointment at my fellow consumers for letting this go on.

    Where’s the benefit to us?

    Are we so complacent as a people that we let the one and only benefit, “not being tacky,” force us to not only keep purchasing gyp cards (correction: Gift) but to, more importantly, not devote a single brain cell as to WHY this makes sense? When you give someone a gift card you are essentially saying the following:

    “Thurmond, in an effort to avoid the tacky social no-no of giving you $25 cash, I’ve decided to show my appreciation for you as a friend/relative by driving to a local store, one that carries products you use/enjoy, and turned nigh-globally-usable currency backed by the Government into less-usable currency backed by a privatized company with the ability to go bankrupt. This proves I care about you because that Seinfeld episode said so. Now let’s watch American Idol on my iPlorb.”

    What it comes down to is, regardless of all the negatives, useless effort, and stupidity, the “gift” of a gift card is making the slight effort to avoid giving cold, hard cash. I guess you could, barely, add on top of that the “gift” of picking a store that most likely has at least, by very good odds, one or two products your “gift recipient” might be interested in. Hence, the counterpoint is that we buy gift cards to show that we know at least something about a person’s interests in life, thus vicariously showing that we care. Simplified: IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

    Is that really the type of thought that counts? Shouldn’t your friends and loved ones care more about the fact that you use your noggin once in a while instead of blindly following the herd. How personal is it to give someone a gift card to a Mega-Department-Store with 3 billion different items in stock? If my little murmurs do, in fact, get you to choose cash over gift cards one day and the recipient gives you grief over it, in so many mumbled words saying to your face that “there’s no thought in cash, and it doesn’t count,” then respond with some honest truth:

    “Thought? Well Thurmond, I’ve honestly put more thought into that $25 cash than most people ever have buying a socially accepted monument to banality known as a gift card. A gift with literally no benefits over cash. I sat and thought, and realized that I care enough about my friend/relative to not placate his emotions with hollow gestures of his consumerist pleasures, instead I decided to give him a simple, direct lump sum of usable currency to do anything he so desires with. Let us leave the worth and value of our relationship to the bond we share and not my ability to guess which department store carries your favorite brand of VHS tapes. Now let’s go watch The Never Ending Story III on my iGroinder, Jack Black plays the villain!”

    You could just forgo all of this and buy Thrumond a gift (a gun, a pony, a box filled with wet food,) but for today’s little rant we are pretending that isn’t an option. Seriously though, does that type of sentiment happen in other areas of life when making a purchase? Would this scene happen at a car dealership:

    Carlyle the Car Salesman: Hello Sir, what kind of automotive dream can I sell you on this fine evening?

    Thurmond: Well, Carlyle, my son is a stonemason’s apprentice and I would like to show my love for him and my care for his passion and profession by buying him an appropriate car.

    Carlyle: Choosing not to dwell on the fact that you know my, rather difficult to guess, first name, I’d like to move on and ask if you have a price and style of car in mind?

    Thurmond: Well, considering he’s a stonemason, I would like a car that costs as much as one of your SUVs but is completely made out of bricks.

    Carlyle: Choosing not to dwell on the sheer silly nature of your request, would you also like the wheels to be made of bricks?

    Thurmond: Even the Wheels my good sir!

    Carlyle: Luckily, it being the year 2345, we have a molecular-matter-synthesizer in the back”¦the kind conveniently only available to car dealerships of the FUTURE, which of course I didn’t need to point out, since to us it is most certainly the present.

    Thurmond: Well then, here’s $30,000 in Future-Money.

    Carlyle: Here’s your receipt for your purchase of $30,000, which suspiciously does not contain over 300 years of inflation, again”¦something I have no reason to point out since to me and you it would just be the norm.

    Thurmond: I’d like my Brick Car now.

    Carlyle: It’s the future.

    Why pay money for less versatile things only in pursuit of sentiment? Now some people have told me that they like gift cards because it gives them an excuse to go shopping, a break from the normal everyday guilt of shopping with their own cash when there are more important expenses to take care of. Your own consumerism guilt is almost an entirely different issue than the one I am addressing. All I can say is watch this and learn its message.

    I’m not a smart man, and deep down I know that any frequent gift card purchaser knows just about every useless aspect of what they are buying, they’d have to right? It’s not like it takes that much brain power to compute. I mean, am I wrong? Do I have no point? Please let me know, I would love a satisfactory rebuttal to my “war” against gift cards”¦I’ve been waiting years for one. With that said, isn’t a gift card really, ultimately, a gift dead in spirit. A morsel of outreached disenchantment from someone trudging through motions they no longer put their time into. Perhaps I’m the minority, but I would rather receive a gift of an item I hate, than a gift of pure mandatory reluctance, such as a gift card, especially from someone I loved.

    Think before you buy that Itchy and Scratchy Money. Is it fun, or is it a meaningless exercise in complacent pre-conception? As for me, you might wonder if I dabble in hypocrisy, and you’d be right. I’ll accept gift cards. I’ll take them, spend them, use them to unlock doors, clean under my fingernails, deflect a pee stream, and throw them like little Frisbees at people’s eyeballs. However, I won’t buy them. No way, no how. Still a hypocrite, right? Send complaints to: Bottom of the page.

    ROBIN HOOD

    A Spoiler Free Discussion and Semi-Review!!!

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    The past week in my head all I’ve heard, in an extremely sarcastic voice, is the following statement:

    “The new Robin Hood movie is the Gladiator version of Robin Hood.”

    That’s it, that’s ALL I hear, NOTHING ELSE! Seriously though, the voice is painfully sarcastic (the fake voice in my brain, well…hopefully fake,) to the point of being illegible. For some reason, I envision a soccer-mom type person saying it at a PTL meeting. A vast ocean of undersexed women wearing mom-jeans and attempting to discuss the inside Hollywood scoop that is this one singular goofball observation as if they were on set and Ridley Scott just kept saying “Do it like we did on Gladiator“¦yeah, cause this is like that, LIKE GLADIATOR!” Oh soccer moms, how you have the world figured out. Here’s a snippet of my own personal hell, if I was reincarnated as a sweater-vest in suburbia:

    Soccer Mom #1: Oh yeah, it’s suppose to be just like Gladiator.

    Soccer Mom #2: Well, Agnes said that it has that Gladiator actor in it, the one with the muscles.

    Soccer Mom #3: Oh I love him, his acting is so good.

    Soccer Mom #2: it is good! Good observation, he really is good. He was good in Gladiator, so he should be good in this. He’s so good.

    Soccer Mom #1: Well the people that made Gladiator, made this, so we will probably go see it as a family outing, since it’s going to be like Gladiator. The same people made it, so you know”¦

    Soccer Mom #3: I love movies, it’s our family hobby. Last week we rented Milo & Otis, which wasn’t made by the Gladiator people.

    Soccer Mom #2: Oh that is a good movie. I love those animals.

    Soccer Mom #1: They make a lot of animal movies, and they make some that are good and some that aren’t as good, but I really enjoy the good ones, because they are good and when it’s good”¦.

    Bob The Sweater Vest (worn by Soccer Mom #2): You know ladies, I hate to interrupt, but your conversation is so mind numbingly useless that blood is actually starting to pool inside my body cavity.

    Soccer Mom #2: Is that what that moisture on my back is?

    Bob The Sweater Vest: Yes, that is my brain fluid leaking on to your skin.

    Soccer Mom #3: The existence of a sentient sweater vest destroys my fragile life of 1950’s values and obtuse worldview. I’ve been living an existence of gray, in a sea of crushed dreams.

    Bob The Sweater Vest: Sorry, I just needed you to stop talking about Robin Hood.

    Soccer Mom #1: The one that’s like Gladiator?

    Is the new Robin Hood like Gladiator? Sure, why not? It has three things in common with Gladiator: Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott, it’s a movie. That proves it. Plus the Producer Brian Grazer said it here. So, now that that’s out of the way, how is Robin Hoodiator? (Gladin Hood? Robiator Glood? Gladiatorobin Hoodin? Hoody Roby Glady Atorhood?) Honestly? Boring. Wait, but Gladiator wasn’t boring? Also, Robin Hood is a prequel story, which Gladiator isn’t a prequel”¦so that’s 2 things that are different. Let us not forget that Russell Crowe’s name is different in this movie, so that three differences from Gladiator. Wait let’s do the math:

    3 (similarities) ““ 3 (differences) = O

    Hence, the movies are equally not the same and as different as they are vice versa, thus yielding them as two separate entities, which are the same thing. Thank Odin for math and logic or else none of this would make sense.

    Apologizing for getting that out of my system is probably too little too late, but if you are still with me I appreciate it. In all seriousness, I wasn’t being coy in the midst of my rambling; Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood is immensely boring. There’s a lot of draw backs to point out, but that is the main gripe. I’m not going to be one to compare it to every other adaptation of the material, except one, Kevin Reynolds’s Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (the Costner one.) Why? Well, Costner’s movie has taken its licks over the years. He had no English accent, we get it. However, Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves, accent or no, is a damn entertaining flick, action packed, quote filled, has a clean through-line, and it holds dynamite performances, especially from Alan Rickman. Don’t get me wrong, I love Errol Flynn, and he will always be the world’s premiere cinematic Robin Hood (although I would argue that Cary Elwes and that Disney Fox are no slouches either.) I’m in my late 20’s”¦Kevin Costner is my Robin Hood, that is just how it is, and I’m not going to apologize for it (however, I’ve seen Cary Elwes’s performance more times that any of them.) Now, after witnessing this generation’s Robin Hood film, I’m wondering if this uneventful ode to boredom will alleviate some of the insults thrown at Costner’s Hood for almost 20 years. Put the two side by side and I know which one I’m choosing to watch when sitting on my couch looking for a period-piece action flick, and I would guess most people would do the same after viewing both.

    robin

    Why did the movie fail on every level to be captivating? Well to use a tired review cliché, Ridley and Crowe seem to be completely on auto pilot. It felt like an uneventful evening that just passes by while you stare at your leg nervously twitching. The only spark of interest in the whole production comes from the supporting characters, mainly Robin’s three merry men, and Friar Tuck. The reason being that every one of them is played for comic relief, which in a movie as stilted as this, should just be called relief.

    The advertising is especially misleading as well as the title, if you didn’t know, it’s a prequel of sorts to the well known legend of Robin Hood. Brian Helgeland’s script, with the exception of the last 3 minutes or so, does not cover any of the familiar territory we know and love about the character. This is fine. I have no qualm if that is the story you want to tell, but why name it ROBIN HOOD? Why not Robin Of The Hood, or go with the original title Nottingham? It’s too confusing, and you don’t even bother to sort out the confusion in the trailers and TV spots. The movie is not overtly a prequel to any specific property, other that the story of Robin Hood IF IT HAPPENED FOR REAL, so I guess in their defense it doesn’t need to be advertised as such, since the character of Robin Hood is in the movie. Still, confusing.

    This is one of those oh-so-annoying cases where the movie isn’t really “bad,” it just hovers over that label of not qualifying as good entertainment. With the exception of pacing, Ridley Scott’s direction is very much on the ball, he just seems to have fell asleep when it came to the moments in which the movie should be ramping us up. A great example of this is the final battle, it just sort of”¦begins. There’s several moments of people arriving at a field/beach and they start fighting and then poof, movie over. Perhaps it’s the film’s quest to be so realistic and “historical” that drags it through the gutter, the boredom caused by a movie with no “movie moments.”

    There’s been a lot of complaining about Crowe’s age in this film, he’s in his late 40s (I think) and Robin Hood should be younger and more spry apparently, especially considering this film takes place before the legend begins. Personally, it doesn’t seem like a problem to me, mainly because his age is never noted in the film itself. Michael J. Fox still looks like he’s in his 20s, some people just don’t look their age, older or younger, why is it so hard to suspend the disbelief for Crowe? Crowe does a fine job in the role”¦I guess. I mean he seams to just be playing Russell Crowe set to “medium” energy, which is annoying since no one will give him the crap they gave Costner, who is always at “medium” energy (and that’s why we love you Kevin, you beautiful “medium” tempered son of a gun!) If you really want to complain about the age thing, start screaming about the great Max Von Sydow, as in this movie he seems to be almost double the age, if not more, than men used to live in that time period. I wouldn’t normally say anything, but for a movie that sacrificed the enjoyable aspect of a legend for a historically accurate feel, why go and cast someone as old as Max? (The answer: He’s a great actor, one of the best living.)

    I didn’t really go into detail about story or plot, because honestly, if I did, the review would be just as boring as the film (if it were ONLY subtitles!) The big question is, is it worth the ticket price? Well, how awful is your job? If it’s worse than or as bad as any of the following, save your money for something better:

    – Aardvark Feces Organizer

    – Assistant Assister

    – Pencil Repairman

    – VHS Factory Janitor

    – Tote Bag Historian

    – Feline Sexuality Expert

    However, I’d give the flick my recommendation for people who are rich, retired, or looking for an expensive, uncomfortable place to sleep at 1pm on a Wednesday, because what else are you doing? I don’t want you just sitting there, thinking about your own mortality, eating brown sugar flavored off-brand pop tarts. That just sounds awful. Go to the movies.

    I’m Bob Rose, Thanks for Reading!!! This Review brought to you by my previous word-for-word Gladiator review, which is of course, very different but almost exactly the same.

  • Trailer Park: Amber Borycki

    By Christopher Stipp

    The Archives, Right Here

    So, I was able to sit down for a couple of years and pump out a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

    And now, you can follow me on Twitter under the name: Stipp. Some weeks you get lucky with the kind of information that people are talking about. This week a debate about whether video games are art and the new trailer for MOON created some waves.

    sop_field_300x250Quick announcement for those readers living in Phoenix (surprisingly, there are a lot of you out there) there is a screening of Kevin MacDonald’s (ONE DAY IN SEPTEMBER, THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND) solidly casted film, STATE OF PLAY. The movie boasts the talents of Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren and Robin Wright Penn so at the very least it’ll be pretty to look at.

    The sneak screening is this Tuesday night, April 14th at Tempe Marketplace. Those interested know the drill. E-mail me at Christopher_Stipp@Yahoo.com and I’ll make it happen.

    The film’s synopsis:

    Handsome, unflappable U.S. Congressman Stephen Collins is the future of his political party: an honorable appointee who serves as the chairman of a committee overseeing defense spending. All eyes are upon the rising star to be his party’s contender for the upcoming presidential race. Until his research assistant/mistress is brutally murdered and buried secrets come tumbling out.

    D.C. reporter Cal McAffrey has the dubious fortune of both an old friendship with Collins and a ruthless editor, Cameron, who has assigned him to investigate. As he and partner Della try to uncover the killer’s identity, McCaffrey steps into a cover-up that threatens to shake the nation’s power structures. And in a town of spin-doctors and wealthy politicos, he will discover one truth: when billions are at stake, no one’s integrity, love or life is ever safe.

    sin_nombre-posterfinAs well, I’ve got a screening for SIN NOMBRE this week for Arizona dwellers.

    The film, which is just a phenomenal debut from filmmaker Cary Fukunaga, is testament to the brilliance of those who are just looking for a change to tell the stories they believe in.

    SIN NOMBRE is playing this Thursday, April 16 at 7 pm at the Harkins Camelview in Scottsdale, Arizona. E-mail me to get on the list…

    Sin Nombre is an epic dramatic thriller written and directed by Student Academy Award winner Cary Joji Fukunaga in his feature debut. The filmmaker’s firsthand experiences with Central American immigrants seeking the promise of the U.S. form the basis of the Spanish-language movie.

    Sin Nombre tells the story of Sayra (Paulina Gaitan), a teenager living in Honduras, and hungering for a brighter future. A reunion with her long-estranged father gives Sayra her only real option ““ emigrating with her father and her uncle into Mexico and then the United States, where her father now has a new family.

    Meanwhile, Casper, a.k.a. Willy (Edgar Flores), is a teenager living in Tapachula, Mexico, and facing an uncertain future. A member of the Mara Salvatrucha gang brotherhood, he has just brought to the Mara a new recruit, 12-year-old Smiley (Kristyan Ferrer), who undergoes a rough initiation.

    While Smiley quickly takes to gang life, Casper tries to protect his relationship with girlfriend Martha Marlene (Diana García), keeping their love a secret from the Mara. But when Martha encounters Tapachula’s Mara leader Lil’ Mago (Tenoch Huerta Mejía), she is brutally taken from Casper forever.

    Sayra and her relatives manage to cross over into Mexico. There, they join other immigrants waiting at the Tapachula train yards. When a States-bound freight train arrives one night, they successfully rush to board ““ riding atop it, rather than in the cars ““ as does Lil’ Mago, who has commandeered Casper and Smiley along to rob immigrants.

    When day breaks, Lil’ Mago makes his move and Casper in turn makes a fateful decision. Casper must now navigate the psychological gauntlet of his violent existence and the physical one of the unforgiving Mara, but Sayra bravely allies herself with him as the train journeys through the Mexican countryside towards the hope of new lives.

    I also have 2 DVD giveaways: THE MINDSCAPE OF ALAN MOORE and A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY – 10TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL EDITION

    alanAlan Moore writer, artist and performer is the world’s most critically acclaimed and widely admired creator of comic books and graphic novels. In The Mindscape of Alan Moore we see a portrait of the artist as contemporary shaman, someone with the power to transform consciousness by means of manipulating language, symbols and images. The film leads the audience through Moore’s world with the writer himself as guide, beginning with his childhood background, following the evolution of his career as he transformed the comics medium, through to his immersion in a magical worldview where science, spirituality and society are part of the same universe.

    What I can tell you about watching this documentary is that is Alan Moore very much encapsulates independent thinking and raises it to an art form. Regardless of this stances on the metaphysical or the ephemeral Alan is able to distill some very complex thought patterns into cohesive narratives that at once entertain and mind bend.

    The documentary frames this writer as the master of his own donat, his own language. He is no ordinary writer, to be sure, and this documentary wonderfully dovetails with the WATCHMEN film in that here is a film that at once explains the why’s and how’s and then goes on to wrap your brain around the mysticism of Alan’s thought patterns. There are some more than excellent interviews with those he’s collaborated with and this documentary will more than satiate anyone wanting to know more about the man who has, in popular media, only been known as the guy who didn’t want his name attached to the film adaptations of his work.

    I have a few to give away and if you’re interested please stick the words “Alan Moore” in the subject line of an e-mail and shoot it over to me at Christopher_Stipp@Yahoo.com

    star-warsFeaturing interviews with hundreds of fans, movie executives, and high profile celebrities, A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY delves into the franchise that has made household names of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, R2-D2 and C3PO. As a new wave of Star Wars mania was being induced in “˜99, Jalal brought his cameras to Star Wars conventions, to boisterous nationwide premieres, into the homes of devoted fans showing off their treasures and collectibles and captured those who spent 42 days on line, just to be first to see The Phantom Menace.

    Interviews and archival footage featured includes Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Pesci, genre filmmaker Roger Corman, Meat Loaf, Dennis Franz, Andy Garcia, Jimmy Kimmel and Star Wars alumnus David Proust (Darth Vader), Kenny Baker (R2-D2), Anthony Daniels (C3-PO) and Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca). Offering a complete, often hilarious, exploration of George Lucas’ crowning achievement that brings together a group of fascinating, passionate, hysterical — and often touching ““ fans, A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY is not just a film about overzealous fanboys.

    Instead, it plumbs the depths of a common, shared love that knows no boundaries and seeks answers to a stunning phenomenon that continues to live on like Yoda.

    I love documentaries like this. There is something about the examination of any subculture where I’ve had a passing interest. To wit, TREKKIES has set the bar for me in regards of simplicity and its lo-fi sheen. In the middle of this average documentary I not only came to understand why some will dress up and descend on conventions simply to indulge their passion as fans of this science fiction program. The interviews always draw me in, I cannot start this film without going all the way through and I suspect the same will happen for this documentary. It hits the notes it has to with its exploitation of the crazies who are genuinely into this but it also has some solid interviews with those who have inside the sphere, first-hand knowledge of the universe that George Lucas has crafted. Say what you will about the man but he has parted a lot of people with their money. This documentary absolutely shows where a lot of that cash has gone.

    I’ve got a few copies available to give away so if you’re interested please put “Galaxy” in the subject line and shoot me a note at Christopher_Stipp@Yahoo.com.

    ———————————————–

    HARPER’S ISLAND: AMBER BORYCKI

    harpersSometimes it’s just good to sit on something.

    I waited to release this interview with Amber Borycki of CBS’ Harper’s Island, now showing every Thursday night (and watch the show’s premiere online if you’ve missed it), as I’ve done this before. I’ve talked to a show’s talent and released the thing weeks before the show has even aired. Most of the time it’s a safe bet but if you’ve never heard of a program or watched it there is an inherent problem at times in making it meaningful to someone who hasn’t seen it.

    With Harper’s Island, though, I hedged a bet that it was going to well in order to have a little more than a passing interest in the following interview. But the bet wasn’t that risky in my own estimation. You had an excellent time slot that was poised to help this little show that could, you had a cast full of unknowns that only increases the tension for a murder mystery program in that you can’t cherry pick who is going to make it to the end but, most of all, and what impresses me, is that this show has a finite lifespan. I am just as a fan of Lost’s twisted and arching story lines but there is something fascinating in a program’s development that says to itself, “There will be someone dead at the beginning and there will be a resolution of it all by the end of 13 episodes.” If all goes well, there could be a different set-up for each batch of shows. Yes, it’s gimmicky in a way. However, where the rubber meets the proverbial road is whether the story and writing can sustain itself for these episodes; you could have any number of wacky premises but if each one was written well enough I could care less about how nutty the idea is.

    As it stands, and why I feel vindicated if only for a week, the debut of Harper’s Island last Thursday ranked first in viewers for its time slot (10.5 million) behind only stalwarts CSI and Survivor. Take it as you will in this fickle viewing pool of television viewers but I’ll strike while the iron is hot and introduce you to Amber Borycki, an actress who had her film debut in a breakout performance in 1984’s RUNAWAY by Michael Crichton starring Tom Selleck , Kirstie Alley and Gene Simmons of Kiss only to disappear for almost 20 years.

    Read on to find out why…

    HARPER’S ISLAND is on Thursday nights at 10 ET/PT

    amber-borycki-79401-89CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Tell me, what is it about this show ““ it’s one of those shows that has been shrouded in mystery with only a vague idea of what it’s about. What can you tell me?

    AMBER BORYCKI: Let’s see. There’s a lot I can’t tell you about the show. We are sworn to secrecy to our death actually. Do you want the premise of the show?

    CS: Briefly. Lay it out for me.

    BORYCKI: It is a one hour drama. They are calling it a horror-inspired drama or a 13 episode mystery event. Basically it’s about a group of friends and family and they travel to an island to celebrate a wedding and for Abby Mills who is the lead character played by Elaine Cassidy this is the first time she’s gone back to Harper’s Island since her mother was murdered there 7 years ago.

    I guess at the beginning spirits are really high and it’s all a big party but as the show progresses people are gripped by fear and are murdered one by one and everybody is a suspect. By the end of 13 episodes, the murdered will be revealed.

    CS: And this is one of the interesting things I found out about the show is that they are planning on spinning this into ““ if this season goes well, next season will be a completely different cast with a completely focus.

    BORYCKI: Yeah, they have to. There’s nobody left.

    (Laughs)

    CS: But, yeah, they are planning on making this more than just a one time thing.

    BORYCKI: Yes, that is the one thing we are allowed to say is that they are promoting it as everybody is going to go, one by one people are going to be picked off and by the end you will sort of find out who it is. I mean, pretty much everybody.

    CS: This seem right for a couple reasons. Why I like this is that they know there is a finite, definite end to the series. Can you shed some light about what they had in mind? You can see how this could have been stretched into 3, 4 or 5 seasons. Why did they want to shoot it all in one season and get it done with?

    BORYCKI: I think it’s just because it’s a new idea. The reason they are doing just 13 episodes is because they are calling this a mystery event. They are promoting it as kind of a mini-series. So, that way you are guaranteed, I think by July 13th, you are going to know who it is. That way, people who are watching the show ““ they have this anticipation every time. They know they are going to find something out.

    I think that’s the difference between a series like Lost. You don’t know when you’re going to find out the end. This way, you know the exact day you are going to get that reward for watching the series. It’s really like a horror movie stretched out over 13 episodes on TV. Like a really long horror movie ““ which is pretty cool.

    amberCS: Are they shooting this cinema-style or doing it kind of vérité like a documentary?

    BORYCKI: It’s actually done cinema-style. Like any other one hour drama. There is no hand held camera. It’s great, shiny and colorful. That’s one cool thing about the show is that it starts off in the beginning in the summer and it’s the wedding, it’s the parties, the heels, bright colors and sun but as the show progresses, the whole tone starts to change when people start getting killed and obviously if your friend or family member gets murdered you are not going to be putting on your heels and dresses anymore. Dressing in darker colors and jeans and the whole tone starts to change. A very cool visual effect ““ the palate changes as well.

    CS: Is that what brought you into this? Was it the premise that sold you, did someone have you in mind or is this one of those things you basically go in for and audition and see if you get it?

    BORYCKI: I auditioned, yeah. I auditioned for a show here in Vancouver, Canada where the show is filmed and I actually only auditioned a week before the show went to camera. They were still doing casting and it all happened super fast. I went in and Jon Turtletaub, our executive producer, Dan and Karim were there in the room and, right away, I knew walking in that I wanted to be a part of the show because of the energy in the room. They were warm, inviting and such great guys and were excited and it was a cool experience auditioning because they were so welcoming. I left saying I really wanted to work with these guys because they were so great. So, I’m really happy to be a part of it.

    CS: Speaking about Jon, I read some interviews with him. He’s an interesting guy to get on-board with something like this. Serial television isn’t something he gets a whole lot of involved in.

    BORYCKI: True. National Treasure fame and all.

    CS: Exactly. Can you share what brought him to do this thing? He said he was going to do National Treasure III.

    BORYCKI: That maybe a question you would have to ask him. I don’t really know exactly how he got involved in the first place. I just know that it was a collaboration of people that really wanted to try something new. Something that has never been done this way before. Yeah, it was kind of different. We were all really excited to work with him. Him coming into a TV series. He directed the pilot as well, which was great because we all got to hang out. To have him there with his film background and history really just worked for the show because it feels like a movie on TV. Like a 13 part movie. But in terms of how he got involved initially, I’m not sure.

    CS: Let me ask you a little bit about yourself. From 1984 until about 2003 you were basically absent from major productions but were doing a lot of theater. What brought you back in?

    BORYCKI: You must have looked at my resume!

    (Laughs)

    CS: Yes, I did….

    BORYCKI: The Runaway is on there and it makes me laugh because I did movie when I was a year old. It starred Tom Selleck and he actually rescued me from killer robots. It’s hilarious. Now we have all these cool I-Robot type movies and in this movie it looks like shoe boxes with guns sticking out.

    (Laughs)

    It’s all kind of funny. I’m in my crib and he comes in and rescues me. Magnum-style. I guess it was my parents. My dad is a writer and producer but I never did any child acting. I guess in high school started doing theater and musicals and came to acting that way and didn’t start doing TV and films until I was about 19. They left it up to me to find my own interest and it just sort of came back into my life and I realized that it was what I loved to do more than anything. That explain the “senior” hiatus?

    (Laughs)

    I took a little break. The Runaway took it all out of me!

    CS: Did the writers know ““ obviously one of the things about Lost ““ some of the guys didn’t really know where it was going to go when they got started, we just had the idea.

    BORYCKI: We asked them and yes, they knew. That was really funny because we would try to get it out of them all the time. There were people claiming that they were going to have mental breakdowns. I remember going out for dinner and one of our cast members was like, “Look, if you don’t tell me this… I can’t handle it anymore. I don’t know if I’m going to die. I don’t know if I’m the killer. I need to know this. I’m going nuts.” But it was like a game all the time. They did a really good job because nobody knew anything until the end. Top secret.

    CS: Well, what about for you? What’s on the horizon? What are you looking forward to?

    BORYCKI: I’m super excited right now because the show comes out in about a month and we have our billboards up, which is really cool. I’m in Vancouver right now but I’m heading down to LA tomorrow, actually, and the picture of our billboard has been circulating around and we’re sending it like on Facebook and emails. I love the websites where people are starting to talk about it. So, at this point I’m just super excited about the show and I’m going to head down to LA and be there for the pilot episode and we’re all going to get together and watch it. That’s the focus right now. I’m still auditioning for other things and thinking about what’s coming next but at this point, the focus is pretty much on that. There is some pretty cool press stuff coming up. They are doing a lot of extra stuff that goes along with the show. There’s the Harper’s Globe which is a website that CBS is doing which is kind of like a story of a girl, a local to Harper’s Island who writes for the paper and keeps a blog on what’s happening. Sort of an off-shoot of Harper’s Island. Things like that. Pretty cool stuff to watch out for.

    CS: That’s the frustrating thing about doing an interview like this because you can’t say a whole lot.

    BORYCKI: I know. I’m trying to be really careful. We had to sign our lives away to not say anything and it’s so hard. Even my best friends and family are asking me questions. My accountant the other day was asking. But I couldn’t say anything. I can only say what I can say. I don’t want to slip up.