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Well TV viewer, it’s been a crazy week.

I’m going to preface this column by saying that as I sit here typing I am sick. I’m the miserable kind of sick that leaves you run down, your head filled with cotton, your sinuses on fire and all you want to do is crawl into the fetal position and welcome the blissful escape of sleep to help you in time-warping beyond your misery. Other than that though, I’m great. I’m also not much in the writing mood so here’s what I got out of the past seven days (and what I know of the few days to come).

NBC has finally and mercifully laid HEROES to rest. I’m glad because the show has been the biggest mess since the second season. They’ve also killed off just about every freshman show for this TV season. When the new TV season hits they’ve got plenty of couple-centric comedy, adrenaline pumping action and even a new super hero show to try to keep some of their HEROES audience. I won’t bore you with the details, however. I’ll instead just give you a link to the site where they have trailers for all of their upcoming shows that make just about every one of the shows seem like they are going to be great because that’s what trailers do. The only bit of depressing news that I can come away from all of this is that FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS features FRAN KRANZ in the trailer and he isn’t going to be a series regular. That’s a damn shame since the role seemed perfect for him and I loved his performances on DOLLHOUSE.

There’s going to be tons of more TV news this week with most of the networks doing their “upfronts” so keep an eye out because the info is out there.

Now let’s get the listing done so I can go back to bed.

MONDAY

CBS - 8:00 PM: TED takes a date to a movie only to find out that it’s loosely based on his life in the season finale of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Wait until you find out who wrote the script.

FOX - 8:00 PM: After tonight’s season finale of HOUSE the doctor will be out until next season.

NBC - 8:00 PM: It’s the penultimate episode of CHUCK before next week’s two hour season finale and it also marks the return of SCOTT BAKULA so I know what I”ll be watching tonight (if the Nyquil hasn’t overpowered me by then).

THE CW - 9:00 PM: I’ve not watched a single episode in my life but the season finale of GOSSIP GIRL is tonight.

ABC - 10:00 PM: Is BECKETT’s new relationship with DEMMING causing a strain in her relationship with CASTLE? Wait, we are talking about a murder mystery show and not GOSSIP GIRL right?

TUESDAY

NBC - 8:00 PM: It’s the last regular episode of THE BIGGEST LOSER before next week’s season finale. I’m impressed and amazed that these final four contestants will run a marathon and I complain after four miles.

THE CW - 8:00 PM: 90210 has it’s season finale tonight and I can’t tell you a single thing about it.

ABC - 9:00 PM: Here it is folks, the last regular episode of LOST before the big season finale. I’m not going to lie to you guys, the fit really hits the shan tonight.

FOX - 9:00 PM: Tonight is that episode of GLEE I’ve been waiting for where JOSS WHEDON directs and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS guest stars. Oh yeah.

ABC - 10:00 PM: It’s the season finale for V but those lucky lizards will be back for another season so don’t be mad if it is a cliffhanger.

WEDNESDAY

FOX - 8:00 PM: FOX is taking a page from last year’s early preview of GLEE by giving us a special preview of the buddy cop show THE GOOD GUYS. The fact that BRADLEY WHITFORD’s vet cop looks like he just stumbled out of an episode of STARSKY & HUTCH makes it worth the time to peep this out.

ABC - 9:00 PM: KOBE BRYANT guests on tonights episode of MODERN FAMILY.

FOX - 9:00 PM: Why does AMERICAN IDOL have to let JUSTIN BIEBER perform on tonight’s results show? Haven’t these contestants (and America) suffered enough?

ABC - 9:30 PM: It’s the season finale of the poorly named but cleverly written COUGAR TOWN.

THURSDAY

NBC - 8:00 PM: It’s season finale night for the comedy block on NBC kicking off with tonight’s episode of COMMUNITY. The Peacock is really hoping you stick around for PARKS & RECREATION, THE OFFICE (with special guest KATHY BATES), and 30 ROCK (with special guest MATT DAMON) as well.

FOX - 8:00 PM: It’s also season finale night on FOX with BONES and the second part of the FRINGE two-part season finale. FRINGE is worth viewing if for no other reason than this might be the final acting job that LEONARD NIMOY will perform before retirement.

CBS - 9:00 PM: The DICK AND JANE killer returns on tonight’s episode of CSI.

ABC - 9:00 PM: There are millions who will be tuned in to the GREY’S ANATOMY finale. I’m not one of them.

FRIDAY

CBS - 8:00 PM: It’s the night of spirit speaking finale’s on CBS with both THE GHOST WHISPERER and MEDIUM having their final shows of the season.

TBS - 9:00 PM: Although not the greatest piece of cinema ever created it’s amazing to see how fast LINDSEY LOHAN has fallen from her career high point in the 2004 movie MEAN GIRLS.

SATURDAY

ABC - 8:00 PM: It’s almost the end of LOST so they’re rolling out the two hour first episode tonight to help us get ready for tomorrow’s mega-TV event.

BBCA - 9:00 PM: After the last few moments of FLESH AND STONE I think the bachelor party scene at the beginning of tonight’s episode of DOCTOR WHO was a nice touch. The rest of the episode was just there for me but after a two episode Weeping Angels bit what do you expect?

SUNDAY

ABC - 7:00 PM: Tonight ABC is milking every single ratings point it can by getting the rabid fan base as soon as it can. LOST: THE FINAL JOURNEY takes a look at the show and it’s events as well as cast interviews to make sure we are in front of our TV’s at 9 PM tonight.

FOX - 8:00 PM: THE SIMPSONS try to fight off the LOST finale by bringing in the all of the judges from this season of AMERICAN IDOL to voice their animated counterparts.

CBS - 8:00 PM: CBS tries to fight the inevitable with country music with the two-hour special AMC PRESENTS: BROOKS & DUNN - THE LAST RODEO.

NBC - 9:00 PM: Can THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE stand up and fight going head-to-head directly against the series finale of LOST? Bad news DONALD, I see a big DVR audience in your future tonight.

ABC - 9:00 PM: This is is folks, after six years of television and some of the best story-telling on TV we’re about to see if I’ve wasted the past six years of my life watching this show in real time with the series finale of LOST. For all of the enjoyment that the show has brought me I’ve got no regrets. It is both a testimony to the audience and the show runners for actually arguing for a real end date for the show to do good by both.

FOX - 9:00 PM: So a few months back FAMILY GUY put out a special direct-t0-video episode titled SOMETHING SOMETHING THE DARK SIDE that served as the second re-telling of the STAR WARS saga by PETER. Tonight if you didn’t buy it or rent it you can watch it for free if you don’t give a toss about LOST.

ABC - 12:05 AM: Yes, technically this makes it a MONDAY show but this special JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE: ALOHA LOST is either going to serve as a fine tribute to the show or a consolation to all of the fans that feel like they were just betrayed by the finale. This will also feature a special segment with LOST executive producers CARLTON CUSE and DAMON LINDELOF that may contain their only comments in regards to the finale in the short term. I’ll be honest, I’m going to have to DVR this one. I’ve got work in the morning!

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