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We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs - however they see fit, within the parameters set forth - after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

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Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu - one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge - or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below (for those Challengers that did not progress to Round 2, you’ll find those songs HERE), as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. The Challengers were then issued their Round 2 Challenge…

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ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a march.

A march is “a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which in origin was expressly written for marching to” - and that is your challenge. You can write on any topic. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a march from Harry Nilsson…

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You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, followed by the voting form…

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THE CHALLENGERS

EDRIC HALEEN

songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends - some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 2 SONG:Whispered In Your Ear
ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

GöDZ PööDLZ

Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
ROUND 2 SONG:Godz Poodlz On Parade
ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

STEVE CHATTERTON

songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 2 SONG:The Only Way I Know
ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 2 SONG:March 2003
ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ‘09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 2 SONG:The Battle Of Cobra Island
ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 2 SONG:La Marcha de Oppurtunidades
ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

THE SCRIBBLES

The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
ROUND 2 SONG:The Student’s Revenge
ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

GORBZILLA

songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer – Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Geeks (Semi-Autobiographical)
ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

DARRELL MacLAINE

Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
ROUND 2 SONG:Football Is Good (The Football Song)
ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

BERG AND JERRY

Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ‘08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
ROUND 2 SONG:This Day Shall Be Mine
ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

DENISE HUDSON

Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
ROUND 2 SONG:Anna’s Gerbil & The Singularity
ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
ROUND 2 SONG:Doomsday March
ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

TOM MILSOM

Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
ROUND 2 SONG:March As A Mad Hare
ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 2 SONG:Marching To Selador (Traditional Dwarven March)
ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

MILES FROM NASHVILLE

Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
ROUND 2 SONG:Another Bittersweet Ending
ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

ANDREW THOMSON

Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Martyrs
ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
ROUND 2 SONG:A Soldier Forever
ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

SARA PARSONS

Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Have An Awkward March
ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

IAN & MELISSA

Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
ROUND 2 SONG:Song FUneral March
ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

TRAVIS NORRIS

Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 2 SONG:Deserter’s March
ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

THE GREMLINS

When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 2 SONG:Doctor
ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

THE PERFECT PLACE

When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA – a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD – with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
ROUND 2 SONG:March Of The Clandestine Ninjas
ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

HIS NAME IS LEGS

His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
ROUND 2 SONG:All For This Moment
ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.
To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, JUNE 14th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. THE THIRD CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, JUNE 15th.

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ROUND 2 VOTING - THE CHALLENGERS

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View Results

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS - THE CHALLENGERS

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View Results

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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Comments:

125 Responses to “Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!”

  1. Edric Says:

    WooHoo! Here we go again! (Best of luck, everyone!)

    Lyrics for “Whispered In Your Ear” can be found at http://happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

    This song was inspired by three books by Daniel Quinn — “Ishmael,” “The Story of B,” and “My Ishmael.”

    (Oh yeah. And by Ken Plume and his little Song Fu challenge…)

    :-)

  2. Caleb H Says:

    My entry, “Marching To Selador” is a traditional Dwarven Battle March, which has been translated and reconstructed by myself from the fragmentary remains of the original dwarvish runes. Little is known of dwarven music, so extensive scholarship was required to undertake the reconstruction. Due to the nature of dwarvish music, and especially the dwarven modes, which would sound quite foreign to our modern ears, certain artistic liberties were taken to convey the impression of a march to western audiences. For example, due to their stature, the dwarves would have actually used a much different tempo in their marches than what we are accustomed to. Where lyrics have been lost, they have been reconstructed based on knowledge of the Dwarves’ widely-held socio-political views. Lyrics below…

  3. Caleb H Says:

    Marching To Selador
    (Traditional Dwarven March)

    (Verse 1)
    Fly the ancient banner, and sound the battle drum,
    Sharpen up yer battle-axe, and put yer chain-mail on,
    Line up in formation, boys, it’s time to have some fun,
    We’re marching to Selador!

    (Chorus)
    Raise a shout, shout, shout, (HUZZAH!)
    Shout for the dwarves!
    Raise a louder shout for yer gold!
    Watch the elves turn tail,
    As the dwarves prevail,
    We’re marching to Selador!

    Raise a shout, shout, shout, (HUZZAH!)
    Shout for yer homes!
    Raise a louder shout for yer ale!
    And your axe will hew,
    Every elf in two,
    We’re marching to Selador!

    (Bridge)
    We all know elves look pretty weird,
    Their facial hair has all been cleared,
    Even elven men,
    Have a hairless chin,
    There’s more hair in yer mother’s beard!

    (Verse 2)
    Burn the elven countryside, and chop down all their trees,
    Watch the elven arrows all get caught up in the breeze,
    When they come in melee we’ll just bite off all their knees,
    We’re marching to Selador!

    (Repeat Chorus with piccolo solo)

  4. Steve Chatterton Says:

    In the interests of not taking up too much space, here’s a quick link to all the back-story & lyrics you’d ever want on my piece.

    Can’t wait to sift through everybody’s tracks!

  5. Hazen of His Name Is Legs Says:

    As previously mentioned, we named our march after a non-existant, small-town newspaper deep in the heart of Florida. Since it has no lyrics, I shall put in music theory jargon that would be probably only understood by the musicologists out there.

    “The Ocoee Shopper” follows the march format standardized by John Philip Sousa. It is in 6/8 time and its tempo is a very marchable 120 beats per minute. It is in the key of B-flat major and, as per tradition, modulates to E-flat major at the trio. As far as I know, it is the only march written for electric guitars, electric basses, and drums.

  6. Darrell Maclaine Says:

    A bit of backstory to mine for US residents:

    My song is a style parody of British football singles from around the 60s/70s/80s, probably a uniquely British institution. They were all the same - march time, no more than three chords, crappy repetitive melodies and arrangement, cheaply recorded, and sung tunelessly by the players/supporters club of whatever team had churned it out. Mine is simply a flippant tribute to those awful, awful records.

    Also - I am not a fan of football at all, I am just amused by this particular musical legacy and wanted to pay it lip service.

  7. Rod Durre Says:

    Here are the lyrics for our tune:

    “GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade

    (1st verse)
    Refuse to wear a muzzle;
    Not lap dogs, we’re ready for a tussle;
    Not dingos or mangy mutts;
    We mark our territory with a power puppy strut. . .

    (Chorus)
    Marching city streets behind the bad penny arcade;
    All the bitches are in heat and we are vicious, unafraid;
    Won’t be neutered, won’t be spayed;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!
    Not your pet, we won’t be played;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!

    (2nd verse)
    Irreverent and not dogmatic;
    Our songs leave you exceedingly ecstatic;
    Cannot be overpaid;
    Here we come, Here we come;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!

    (Chorus)
    We dominate the charts on our musical crusade;
    Front line on the march, we are canine renegades;
    You’ll be hit with song grenades;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!
    We’re the alpha dog brigade;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!

    (Gangsta Rap Section)
    All you bad pennies and all you bad actors;
    You better step back, GöDZ PööDLZ detractors;
    Laments are tragic and we got the Song Fu;
    We got the magic, the voodoo, the hoodoo;

    Who do you love? GöDZ PööDLZ, all right!
    Who do you love? GöDZ PööDLZ, all night!

    GöDZ PööDLZ gonna stuff it in your ear and down your throat;
    Now take it to the comments and don’t forget to vote!

    Who do you love? GöDZ PööDLZ, OK!
    Who do you love? GöDZ PööDLZ, all day!

    Even our lemonade is made in the shade;
    Don’t think that you can beat us;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!

    (Chorus)
    Marching city streets behind the bad penny arcade;
    All the bitches are in heat and we are vicious, unafraid;
    Won’t be neutered, won’t be spayed;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!
    Not your pet, we won’t be played;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!
    We will not be dismayed;
    Your orders disobeyed;
    A Mongrel Marinade;
    GöDZ PööDLZ on Parade!”

  8. The Scribbles Says:

    The Student’s Revenge

    Marching to the school
    Forgetting books and rules
    Proudly we now stand
    All hand in hand
    We’ll find revenge
    In the end
    They run

    They drown in kerosene
    It drains to the ravine
    Watch as they run in fear
    Shrieking, bleeding ears

    We ask what they’ll do
    They seem so confused
    They run
    We’ve risen above
    What they’ve become
    They run

    Now the time has come
    To light the match and run
    Watch as it burns to smoke
    Ashes make them choke

    We ask what they’ll do
    They seem so confused
    They run
    We’ve risen above
    What they’ve become
    They run

  9. xtianna Says:

    lex’s song reminds me of magnetic fields

    i see a few dropped out…. this round was hard!

    good luck everyone

    go zombies :)

  10. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    March Of The Clandestine Ninjas

    (Verse 1)

    Take heart, my men, and march with me
    Until we reach the shore
    We’ve come so many miles now
    So what’s a couple more?
    Prepare your arms and battlements
    For now it may seem calm
    But soon we’ll meet those pirate scum
    And blast them back to Guam

    (Chorus)

    Revenge, so sweet, we’ll have at last
    When there we meet our foes
    Disguised as simple military men
    Though underneath these clothes
    There beats the heart of savage war
    Concealed so gracefully
    We secret ninjas will achieve
    The final victory

    (Verse 2)

    With fist of pow’r and sword of steel
    Our might they cannot shake
    But if, perchance, advantage fails
    We’ll ready our escape
    With bombs of smoke, we’ll disappear
    To gain the upper hand
    And ambushing the lot, they’ll rue
    The day they stepped on land

    (Chorus 1x)

    (Outro)

    I don’t know, but I’ve been told (repeat)
    This “Arr, matey” crap is getting old (repeat)
    Don’t drink grog and we don’t want rum (repeat)
    But we can down sake like a son-of-a-gun (repeat)
    Now for somethin’ that makes no sense (repeat)
    How ’bout a Godz Poodlz reference? (repeat)
    What do you call the poodles of God’s? (repeat)
    Middle-aged men with excessive umlauts! (repeat)

  11. Travis Norris Says:

    Nothing remotely amusing about my song this round. 120 BPM, 3/4 time, minor key occasionally modulating to relative major, no trio (because I’m not clever enough and I was once again pushing 4 minutes which is pretty much my upper limit for this contest). This song is clearly from the perspective of a deserting soldier in an unnamed conflict/war, aside from that you know as much as I do. Is it the Iraq War, the American Civil War, the Clone War? Is he lamenting the desertion of his brothers in arms or the desertion of his family? You decide. ;)

    And oh, the song has a bit of a trick ending, so don’t hit the skip ahead button on your mp3 player of choice too soon.

    DESERTER’S MARCH
    —————–
    My story is one I’m sure you have heard
    But common as it may be
    My fate, though not unique, of boredom and nights bleak
    Feels pretty unlucky to me

    I walked with the footmen of the 7th division
    Mind shot full of holes from what I’ve seen
    These hands have blood on them and no matter how much washin’
    I can’t get the damn things clean

  12. Travis Norris Says:

    (continued.. stupid tab key)

    A little peace and quiet is all that I crave
    I’ll march right into my grave

    She wrote me these letters trying to make it all feel better
    I’ve been blinding by the muzzle flash light
    I could not have done better to escape from these fetters
    This rich man’s war, poor man’s fight

    My feet stopped on the stairs of that little house we shared
    There in body, I left my spirit somewhere behind
    She said can you hear me? From the outside I saw clearly
    I’m going right out of my mind

    I don’t need your sympathy, I don’t care to be brave
    I’ll march right in to my grave
    A little peace and quiet, that’s all that I crave
    I’ll march right in to my grave

    I don’t need your sympathy, I couldn’t be more grave
    To march right in to my grave
    And don’t say that my soul, it’s something you can save
    When I march right in to my grave

    I won’t stay in my grave…

  13. Lex Vader Says:

    @Edric: I hear this in my head ALL THE TIME. How did you know?

    @GodzPoodlz: I’m exceedingly ecstatic.

    @SteveChatterton: Best in show. You win… a cup or something.

    @Jutze: Thanks for being catchy, so I don’t have to!

    @Molly: …oh. Right. Feel free to enter round 3 and win the competition, and I will feel free to throw rocks at you.

    @Habaneros: New microphone, but you’re still not singing INTO it.

    @Scribbles: Um, okay. I’m scared. Are you kids in prison yet?

    @Berg & Jerry: I have actually heard a song like this in the past month, sans march.

    @Denise: Great lyrics. You’re weird. I think you and I might have scared everyone to death before they could hear the rest of the songs. Perfect segue though, thanks.

    @LexVader: Take THAT, novelty song people!

    @Tom Milsom: Didn’t seem that crazy to me.

    @CalebLee: Enjoying those dingos?

    @SaraParsons: Haha, you broke a glass! Should have put it in the recording.

    @Gremlins: Why are you singing like Jutze?

    @Legs: I want to buy oranges now.

    @KenPlume: Enjoy the nightmares you have created.

    23 songs? That’s less than 39, isn’t it?

    A lot of hard to hear lyrics this time. And it’s not like you had to be heard over a marching band. Still, a lot of creativity came out of this challenge. I can only hope the next challenge is to write a bossa nova.

  14. Steve Chatterton Says:

    Here’s the link I promised: http://www.stevechatterton.com/20090609-the-only-way-i-know.html

    Long day yesterday.

  15. Steve Chatterton Says:

    Kind words, Lex. I haven’t had a chance to listen to any entries yet, but I’m down for a bossa nova challenge.

  16. Sara Parsons Says:

    @Lex You, my friend, are a genius. Leaving in the glass breaking would have been great, if it hadn’t been for my use of some dreadful profanity right after it happened. Or perhaps that would have made it better… At any rate, it was more of a “Clink!” than a shatter, so it probably wouldn’t have had a great effect.

    Gonna listen to everyone’s entries today. Then hopefully I’ll have some comments of my own to leave.

  17. Rod Durre Says:

    My mini-reviews:

    @Edric- Compelling theme and well-performed. I really like the minimalist production, which helps to emphasize the lyrics.

    @GöDZ PööDLZ- Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Nice use of faux ukulele and children’s chorus and LOTS of GöDZ PööDLZ references! Unfortunately, there’s no Ben Fold’s piano.

    @Steve Chatterton- Best production of the bunch, featuring beautiful Beatlesque harmonies. Also, one of the best conceived and crafted songs this round.

    @Jutze- Interesting take on the “March” theme. Well produced and catchy.

    @AudioMohel- I like the unexpected thematic shift in the middle of this battle march.

    @Jalapeño Habañeros- I like the accents above the n’s in your name. Also, it sounds like you went to the trouble of using real horns, shunning the popular sampled tuba sounds.

    @The Scribbles- Umm. . . I hope your Principle isn’t listening. Why does the march theme bring out the violence in so many folks? Kerosene does burn pretty cleanly, though it can leave an acrid odor.

    @Gorbzilla- Thanks a lot for dredging up painful memories!

    @Derrell- I’m glad you entered this round! Thanks for explaining the context of this tune- we have similarly stupid ’songs’ at American Football games (I know, football is soccer. . .)- though it usually consists of a single drum rhythm from a Queen song repeated incessantly!

    @Berg & Jerry- I’m scared to say anything bad about this tune. . . I think you and the Scribbles ought to get together for some . . . ummm. . . fun. . .

    @Denise- Interesting instrumentation and the recording levels are a lot better than last time around.

    @Lex Vader- The only complaint I have is that your song is so short. . . I don’t think you made the requisite 11 minute 15 second mark.

    @Tom Milsom- Another ode to violent insanity. This song made me happy for no reason other than the manic ramblings. . . what does that say about me?

    @Caleb H.- I’m so glad you went to the tedious trouble of reconstructing this ancient cultural heritage! Catchy tune those dwarves wrote. . .

    @Miles from Nashville- Nice tune. . . not much of an march, though.

    @Andrew Thomson- Nice Bowie-esque vocal performance. The mix, though, was less than I would expect with such professional performances. Also, not much of a literal march.

    @Richard Clayton Spring- At least someone else understands that marches require auto-tune! Bravo!

    @Sara Parsons- I like this one. It has a certain innocence and a distinct lack of violence, which is so prevalent in Marches of today.

    @Ian & Melissa- Impressive piano performance. Recording quality could be better, though.

    @Travis- A nice funeral-style march with good recording quality.

    @Gremlins- Interesting combination of standard R&B progression, old-style rock melody, and march rhythm. One of the vocal tracks is considerably louder than the other in the mix.

    @The Perfect Place- You get points for mentioning the PööDLZ of GöDZ! Unfortunately, you lose points for forgetting the umlauts when you reference us. BTW, don’t be fooled by their meek appearance. . . GöDZ PööDLZ can take down your ultra-secret clan of clandestine ninjas any day! You East Coast rappers don’t stand a chance against us (Mid) West Coast rappers!

    @His Name is Legs- Whoever heard of a March without lyrics???? Seriously, this is a pretty good composition, with many Sousa-esque elements reinterpreted for electric guitars. Very nice.

  18. Darrell Maclaine Says:

    My favourites this time, another good round from a very hard challenge:

    Edric Haleen - you are clearly on a different planet to me regarding songwriting. I have to struggle to catch up just listening. Awesome entry.

    Denise Hudson - fantastic, and not just because you called me cute last time. It’s gone on my MP3 player. Gloriously odd.

    Ian And Melissa - I for one really appreciated that. You’ve won my vote with a really solid instrumental. Nice changes.

    Steve Chatterton - probably the catchiest this round.

    Lex Vader - great techno-fear 80s pastiche. I was expecting a couple of different movements given the length, but it holds up well. Reminds me of a musical comedy act called Gary LeStrange (do a search).

    Personally I am gearing up to be the O’Reilly’s Underpants of round 2, but I don’t mind considering. Let’s hope round 3 is less terrifying (and that I don’t scalp myself again)! Oh, and that we regain some of our lost competitors, we’re being picked off like characters in a slasher film here.

  19. Gorbzilla Says:

    March of the Geeks (Semi-Autobiographical)

    Walkin’ tall down the Freshman Hall
    And I’m pushing a cart with equipment from A.V.
    Lookin’ cool in my pants made of wool
    The hall is full of people who don’t even see me

    On my way to the comic book shop
    I’m feeling very happy cuz today is Wednesday
    See the jocks passing by and they ask me
    If I’ve got myself a date for the dance this Friday

    With Marching band and the A.V. club
    And I’m the chess club president founding member
    I don’t have time for talking to girls
    I have 13 trombone lessons in the month of September
    (I’m working on the solo for “Eye of the Tiger.” Check it out)

    The football coach catches me in the hall
    And he asks me if I’m gonna tryout for him this time
    I say I can’t I’m in the Marching Band
    And besides I have to tutor all of his defense line

    Marching band and the A.V. club
    And the D&D club I’m the dungeon master
    Don’t have time for playing football
    Or for talking to cheerleaders that would be a disaster
    (I keep staring at their chests. Maybe if they only had one boobie I would only be half as distracted.)

    I do hope someday I will find myself kissing a girl
    And I hope it’s not because I’m the last guy in the world
    (Although that would rule)

    (Besides, I only know one girl in the AV Club. At least I think she’s a girl. Is Larry a girl’s name?)

    I’m so geeked Mom and Dad found me
    An awesome accordion for my birthday
    I really love Weird Al and that other guy
    From They Might Be Giants I hope I can learn to play

    Marching band and the AV Club
    And the comic convention featuring Stan Lee
    I hope I learn to play the accordion
    Boy when I do how the chicks will dig me

    (Dang this is harder than I thought)
    (Check out my Wolverine hairdo…Snikt)
    (Dude, I saw this girl at the convention dressed in the Slave Leia costume from Jedi…Schwing!!!)
    (Check out the new girl on Mellophone. I’d ask her out, but I have a girlfriend in Canada.)
    (Do you want to play Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock?)

  20. JoeyGremlin Says:

    Lex-

    Singin’ like me, dude.

  21. Caleb Lee Says:

    @Lex those dingos make me work too much!

    Umm… “Those who did not progress to round 2″ so we’re kicking people out this time is it?

  22. Tom M Says:

    Here we go…

    @edric I feel a lot better now. Thanks :D

    @GodzPoodlz How did you get the kids to shout “Poodlz on Parade”? I dunno if child labour is mentioned in the rules but I demand clarification!

    @Steve I approve of this lots. Love it. Got my vote. Love that tuba line.

    @gremlins I like your songwriting, but I’d like to see you use a bit more inventive instrumentation.

    @Jutze hah, brilliant idea. Enjoyed it a lot.

    @audiomohel really liking the sound you’re getting, but the lyrics are a bit hard to hear, which is a shame, cause the bits I’m getting are great xD

    @Jalepeno Habaneros I didn’t want to march to this one, but only cause I wanted to do other, somewhat crazier dances.

    @The Scribbles you are going to grow up to be the rulers of the free world. This is fact.

    @gorbzilla brilliant! Love the solo. I loved my life in those moments.

    @Darrell If this is ironic, I found it very funny. If you’re serious, I’m scared.

    @Berg & Jerry again, a shame the lyrics are obscured, but I love lo-fi things, particularly when they involve horns so I’ll be listening to this one again.

    @Denise Delightfully weird. My favourite so far. Just brilliant.

    @Lex Vader You may rule half the free universe, but I do rather feel a nine minute march is a tad excessive.

    @Tom Milsom You’re brilliant and I love you. Obviously.

    @Caleb Hines knew I could count on you for something wonderfully geeky. Hooray!

    @Miles From Nashville I’m not sure quite how this fits into being a march, but it’s a perfectly nice song, hah.

    @Andrew Thompson I’m not sure whether this is really a march either. It’s awfully funky. Does anybody know what the stipulations are for marches? At any rate, it is awfully funky. Which is ALWAYS nice.

    @Richard Clayton Spring Another one that sounds really good but I wish the vocals were a tadge clearer.

    @Sara Parsons I can’t even imagine the lengths you went to to record this but it’s gorgeous. I love it immensely!

    @Ian & Melissa Ever so brave of you to write a song without words. I was hoping somebody would. :D My heart goes out to your massive balls.

    @Travis a nice angle on the subject :D

    @The Perfect Place brilliant. Love the Godz Poodles reference. And good rhyming with Umlauts too. :D

    @His Name Is Legs another wordless entry! Awesome.

  23. Will Says:

    Is the voting frozen or something? I can’t vote.
    My sister just voted on her laptop, and I’m trying to vote on my desktop, but can’t.
    Is it because we’re on the same internet cable?

  24. Denise Hudson Says:

    I like things in the form of lists, even when it doesn’t make sense. So we’ll keep it to that:

    ‘ANNA’s GERBIL & the SINGULARITY’ … a rough plot guide

    1. Anna is abruptly awakened! Her gerbil was already awake, spinning-spinning on his cute wheel.
    2. She hears something … she is amazed and communes with it. Its beauty distracts her from a hostile takeover of her bedroom.
    3. This is their first step.
    4. The strange visitors come in two forms … Master and Slave
    5. The slaves can fit in a cage … but gerbils don’t think of themselves as slaves like the visitors do
    6. The slaves are very tiny. The masters have lovely voices.
    7. The gerbil doesn’t want to share his cage with tiny programmed slaves running robot military drills in between his wheel and the food.
    8. Anna feels her gerbil is upset; the gerbil becomes agitated and protests his plight by loudly stomping his foot.
    9. The tiny robots suddenly understand they are in a first contact situation and immediately disappear – taking their large ship and masters with them.

    Do Anna and her gerbil now share a psychic connection? Did the self-improving, scarily advanced “race” of robots’ finally reach a tipping point into self-actualization? Did the robots and the gerbil come together in a kind of psychic and territorial peace treaty? Were the robots ever going to grow in size?

    Who knows these things? Maybe the lot of them had eerie weapons and it is better they left. Maybe they went to a certain wormhole to study the reject song ideas. Or simply, to rock.

  25. Caleb H Says:

    Challenge 1) A topical constraint (Inanimate object)
    Challenge 2) A stylistic constraint (March)
    Challenge 3) A tighter constraint (e.g. use a given title, pay homage to an existing song, etc…)

  26. Berg Says:

    The level of the vocals is not as good as i wanted, but alot i can do now… Lyricsssss! AND special thanks to Bobby Hunt (drums), Patrick Foster (keyboard), Andy G and Ethan Hardy (Trumpets).

    This day shall be mine:

    Verse 1:
    Protect the women and children
    And lock up the door
    The battle’s about to begin
    Its what we’ve been training for
    Watching hours of movies
    Playing video games
    They would never listen to me
    And thought I was insane

    Chorus:
    So grab your sawed off shotgun
    Aim directly at the head
    Take them down one by one
    Once again they will be dead
    Now we must save mankind
    We will not be afraid
    Don’t let them take hold of your mind
    Yes there’s Zombies on Parade

    Verse 2:
    I’ve been waiting for years
    Now this day shall be mine
    I’ve stocked up survival gear
    All S-Mart top of the line
    Don’t even bother with chainsaws
    They will run out of gas
    Pistols have too many flaws
    So just use a cricket bat

    Chorus:
    Verse 3:
    It’s time to defend the Nation
    As we enter World War Z
    Be it hand of God, maybe radiation
    Or government conspiracy
    Its hard to take out your best friend
    But push must come to shove
    As we all know
    They’re not the ones we once loved!

    Chorus:
    *ZOMBIE ATTACK SOUNDS*
    BRRAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSS!!!!!

  27. Caleb H Says:

    How is Lex not creaming everyone right now? His song is EPIC! (and creepy!). The moment I heard it, I was pretty sure I was voting for it. Then I was completely hooked when it got to “traversable wormholes were created”.

  28. Caleb H Says:

    (Granted, it’s more of a techno-ballad rather than a march, but still… EPIC!)

  29. UncaScroogeMcD Says:

    No one is being kicked out - If someone who had to drop out comes back with a song for the next challenge, they’ll be put back in to the line-up. I just removed the bios as as to make things less confusing for people voting in the round.

  30. Rod Durre Says:

    Tom M said:

    “@GodzPoodlz How did you get the kids to shout “Poodlz on Parade”? I dunno if child labour is mentioned in the rules but I demand clarification!”

    Oh. . . We have our methods : )

    Seriously, we had a campfire in the backyard and got all our kids and the neighborhood kids hopped up on S’mores and Hobo pies and THEN made them scream into the microphone.

    Seriously, I love your tune more with every listen.

  31. Lex Vader Says:

    Thanks, Caleb H. It’s nice to hear from someone who isn’t criticizing my length!

  32. Denise Hudson Says:

    Thanks y’all! More from me real soon :)

  33. Toomanykidz Says:

    Gorbzilla- You told us you needed the accordion to make your band unique. And it was the only instrument at the garage sale. We are still waiting to hear music from it. Maybe on the next song-fu challenge. With my abilities, you know I am song-fu challanged (impaired)

    Love
    Mom and Dad

  34. Rogue Bohemian Says:

    Palabras por La Marcha de Opportunidades, por la banda “Los Jalapeno Habaneros”.

    Nick Wagner
    Es muy triste
    Porque las chicas
    No encanta l

    Mujeres
    Que consigo
    Tienen
    Novios

    Se lucho
    Con Captan Halcn
    Perdido la lucha (Falcon Kick!)
    Exploto a Guam (Guam!)

    All chicas
    Son muy bonitas
    No tienen novios
    Nick es feliz

  35. Caleb Hines Says:

    @Lex: Well, “EPIC!” applies to it’s proportions as well. ;-)

  36. Austin of The Pudaks Says:

    I really wish we could have gotten our song finished on time, but unfortunately my father passed a severe cold to me and I was unable to function, let alone write/record a march. I had a few ideas in mind such as a recruitment song for an army preparing for a robot uprising, or a march for Bruce Campbell, because he could save us from anything. Rest assured that Austin & The Pudaks will be back full force for the 3rd challenge.

  37. Jason Says:

    @Lex: Being from a marching band I have absolutely no authority on the topic. However, a march is usually a long trek, so march music should give the feeling of length as well.

    Also, I don’t think that story needed to be that long to get it told correctly. It was my favorite by far.

  38. Jason Says:

    Correction: That story DID need to be that long.
    What I meant to say was that story couldn’t be told any shorter than that.

    Sorry, its been a long, bad day. All the entries here sure helped to cheer me up though.

  39. Andrew Thomson Says:

    I can’t defend my mix… not much time to spend on that, sorry.

    But I will point out that besides the explicitly march related lyrics, my funk rhythm (like many funk rhythms) is a popular and common form of the second line New Orleans March beat.

    It’s origins go back to the traditional funk parades of the New Orleans Mardi Gras Indian subculture…

    Look it up people!

    If anyone’s interested I”ve been working on a couple of Celtic style march song ideas as well, I’m surprised no-one else delved into the many traditional international march song forms, rather than Jumping on the Souza Bandwagon.

  40. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @rod: we are west coast. ;-D and i challenge you to a rap battle. the umlaut omission was unintentional, i’m just lazy.

    @tom: thanks! i dig your tune, it’s quite pleasant really.

    @darrell: i can’t stop singing ‘football is gooood! football is goooood!’ and it reminds me of the packer polka, which you won’t understand unless you follow american football [which you probably don't, considering you don't even follow real football and to follow a.f.b. would be akin to treason on top of blasphemy] but i shall link it anyway because it’s freakin’ hilarious.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eefXQymWKk

  41. Lex Vader Says:

    Jason: what? Who are you? What are you replying to?

  42. riddle Says:

    hi again everybody! here are my un-asked-for comments about this round:
    if i could’ve voted for Godz Poodlz five times, i would have. your song was AWESOME and suffered little competition in an otherwise lackluster round. seriously, i would pay to see GP perform. however, i also voted for Tom Milsom (ferocious and infectious), the Gremlins (unexpected and captures the inevitableness of illness as a march to death, whatever that is, nicely), His Name is Legs (for an instrumental that is original and entertaining), and Sara Parsons (for a sweet, though somewhat cheesy, little song that gives meaning to life’s hiccups).
    near misses were Edric (again, sorry) who i liked but again fell a little short of his great potential, and Ian and Melissa’s piano number which i liked but couldn’t vote for because i have this nagging feeling that an essential part of the melody is “borrowed” from someone else’s composition.

  43. riddle Says:

    Edric’s song reminded me of this poem by former US Poet Laureate Billy Collins, and i thought i’d share:
    The Parade

    How exhilarating it was to march
    along the great boulevards
    in the sunflash of trumpets
    and under all the waving flags–
    the flag of desire, the flag of ambition.

    So many of us streaming along–
    all of humanity, really–
    moving in perfect sync,
    yet each lost in the room of a private dream.

    How stimulating the scenery of the world,
    the rows of roadside trees,
    the huge blue sheet of the sky.

    How endless it seemed until we veered
    off the broad turnpike
    into a pasture of high grass,
    heading toward the dizzying cliffs of mortality.

    Generation after generation,
    we shoulder forward
    under the play of clouds
    until we high-step off the sharp lip into space.

    So I should not have to remind you
    that little time is given here
    to rest on a wayside bench,
    to stop and bend to the wildflowers,
    or to study a bird on a branch–

    not when the young
    keep shoving from behind,
    not when the old are tugging us forward,
    pulling on our arms with all their feeble strength.

  44. Lex Vader Says:

    @AndrewThomson: Just because New Orleans brass bands incorporate funk doesn’t mean doing a straight ahead funk song can be considered a march. I can imagine a marching band playing certain parts of your song, but brass bands play all sorts of styles. They played the Beatles covering the Isley Brothers in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but that doesn’t make that song a march. Sorry, I don’t think just singing about a march counts. It’s a great song regardless. Just not in the style stipulated. And the challenge was about the style, not the lyrics. It’s a hard style to write a decent song to. That was the point.

    @MilesFromNashville: This was decent, but where you might be able to make this a march, it wasn’t a march in this version. The rhythm you’re playing on bongos would work as a march for snare drum, but you just don’t get the “march” vibe from this particular recording. Another shame, because it’s a good song.

    @Ian&Melissa: This was great, but it didn’t seem like a march to me. The beat is steady at the start, but it’s more of a creepy mansion/silent film score. It breaks down halfway through. It’s a great classical piece, but I don’t think it even counts as a funeral march. A precursor to one, sure.

    @TravisNorris: Very White Stripes, but I felt this wasn’t really a march either. I guess technically you could march to it, but the beat needs to be played up more. As it stood, the song was a little too sparse. You’re still one of my favorites though.

    @DarrellMaclaine: Whereas I usually would doubt somebody wrote a great song for this competition, I would doubt you DIDN’T write this for Song Fu. You already had this song??? That’s terrifying.

    @CalebHines: I kind of thought this would be a little less peppy. I wasn’t really expecting dwarves of the WHISTLING, working variety. They seem really happy.

    @AudioMohel: I had no idea Joe was so nerdy. I guess kung-fu grip doesn’t count for much!

    @Gorbzilla: Sparse, but nice. Got my vote.

    @PerfectPlace: Voted, but I’m speechless.

    @RichardSpring: This is just bizarre.

  45. Travis Norris Says:

    @Lex: Thanks for the comments. Unlike last round my song this time was a little bit last minute, and I spent about twice as long trying to get the percussion done as anything else. I tried banging out marching rhythms on various household items and finally settled on an admittedly not very good sequenced thing. This song is probably getting a makeover later. I also committed the cardinal sin of using one guitar for all three guitar tracks which made everything a little more flat sounding than it should have. Live and learn I guess.

    I should have my epic-style comments posted later tonight.

  46. Gorbzilla Says:

    Wow. Amazing. I’m almost 40 and my parents are still trying to embarass me in front of people.

  47. Derrek J. Thompson Says:

    Tom’s is most certainly my favorite. I also liked March of The Geeks.

  48. Rhod Durre Says:

    @riddle- Thanks so much for your kind words about the PööDLZ! A live GP show would be fun to do, I must admit.

    @All- Russ and I are having a blast with the SongFu- and are looking forward to the third and final challenge. I’m going on vacation next Thursday, so hopefully the challenge will be announced on Monday, as indicated, so that we can get writing and recording done before I leave. . . I could always mix and do postproduction on the road.

    Thanks again for all the mentions of the PööDLZ, we appreciate it!

  49. Rhod Durre Says:

    “@rod: we are west coast. ;-D and i challenge you to a rap battle. the umlaut omission was unintentional, i’m just lazy.”

    In the words of the immortal Tupac. . . “b*****s get ready for the throw down, this s**t’s about to go down!”

    Oh. . . it’s ON!

  50. Rhod Durre Says:

    @Perfect Place:

    BTW, I like your tune and especially enjoy the GöDZ PööDLZ reference! I’m not technically middle-aged yet, I don’t think. . . but not too far away from it either!

    In dog years, though, I’m ANCIENT!

  51. Richard Clayton Spring Says:

    lyrics —
    It was the month of March when he was born, a soldier, and he was told of his birthstones, bloodstone and aquamarine. Then, his mother leaned in closer and kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear. Darling darling dear you must never be weak.

    It was the month of March when he died, a soldier.
    It was the month of March when he fell, forever.
    Then, his mother leaned in closer and kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear. Darling darling dear you must never be weak.

  52. Jutze Schult Says:

    All my votes in this round go to Lex Vader. How the hell did you manage to produce this song in just one week? I peaked into all songs before I went to bed last night - and “Doomsday March” was the only song I listened to in its entirety (i.e., without skipping). And yet, the end is somewhat sudden. I haven’t figured out even half of the lyrics yet, but I’m sure I’m in for a skew ride.

    The other entries were a bit disappointing, at least in comparison. I will give the other entries another listen, but for now I miss the marching element in some songs; plus, as a non-native speaker I don’t get all the stories right the first time.

    Honorary mentions:

    Gödz Pöödlz get a vote, because they added something original and delivered the best self-centered Fu since the Paul and Storm Theme Song. Caleb Hines (dwarfish) and His Name Is Legs (traditional) get a vote each, too. My last vote goes to The Scribbles, because a) they’re the Pöödlz’ Nemesis and b) their song is like an innocent Tom Waits song. At least it sounds like this when I screen out the lyrics. (The march aspect could maybe have been incoporated in the lyrics, though.)

  53. Caleb Hines Says:

    @Lex: You’re buying in to popular racial stereotypes of dwarves as stoic, humorless beings. Of course they’re happy. They’re going to get to attack the elves. :-)

    But… whistling??? Those are piccolos (sort of). I played the part on flute and transposed it up an octave in software.

  54. Lex Vader Says:

    Thanks, Jutze. Glad to please you. When I programmed the fade out, I thought that was long enough. And I admit I didn’t think of any kind of a big finish, like, zombies eating the singer. But the different pre-chorus and the twist in the lyrics are supposed to hint that the song is ending.

    As I always say, if I can touch just one person with my music, I can afford to keep them quiet. Two and I’m in trouble.

  55. Berg Says:

    Oh man the vote ends on sunday?…thats alot shorter time…at least we’ll find the new challenege faster tho!

  56. Denise Hudson Says:

    @Lex three and there might be a lawsuit. Okay. I’m finished.

  57. sevinPackage Says:

    For anyone who cares, or whatever:
    The strong demands from work are preventing me from completing my review for round 1, but I sincerely am planning to make episodes for each round of this edition. They’ll be a bit late, but hopefully they’ll all be done before MoSF5 starts.

  58. Wilson Fowlie Says:

    Darrell: do you mind posting your lyrics? I can’t make out the second verse. (Or maybe someone with better lyric-discerning skills than mine could do so?)

    Also, has anyone else noticed that Darrell needs a new website?

  59. The Rogue Bohemian Says:

    I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the pasa doble, but if we are missing out on votes for not being march-y enough, it’s a *Spanish* march, people. Come on.

    In our original lyrics, replace question marks with accented vowels. For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, here are some alternative lyrics. Translated by a free online translator which was painstakingly coded by a third grader.

    “The March of the Stork”

    Nick Wagner is very trustworthy
    because his chickens can’t sing.

    Instead they sign contracts with him
    to tie up snow.

    He dresses up as brightly colored superheroes
    and blasts kindergarteners away to tropical islands when they make him angry.

    There his chickens tie them up with snow
    and deliver them to doorsteps. Nick is happy.

    Honest to goodness. Those are the actual lyrics. The song is definitely NOT about our lady troubles and our dreamed-up ways of solving them. Because we don’t have problems with ladies. Right? RIGHT?! The defense rests.

  60. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @lex: what kind of speechless? ;-D i’m very honored to have your vote, because i respect your opinion from reading your comments here on the board. as such, we’d love to hear some more pointed criticism from you or anyone else on this entry.

    @rhod: i’m serious about the rap battle. i’m actually quite a good rapper. ;-P also, middle-aged is relative, isn’t it? so just think of it as my little way of saying that you will most likely die in your age now times 2. <3 comforting, i know. i aim to please.

    @berg: that’s one day shorter, right? i don’t think that qualifies as ‘a lot’ shorter, hehe.

  61. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    another thing… i think there may be something wrong with the code again for voting. i didn’t get a chance to vote this time. i put in my choices and it said i had already voted, which is impossible because it was within the 1st hour the songs were up.

    for the record, i voted [or tried to vote] for: jutze, godz poodlz, ian&melissa, caleb hines and lex.

  62. Andrew Thomson Says:

    to Lex, with all due respect, (and great work on your opus this time, love it!)

    There are many different musical cultures around the world and here in the USA.

    With many cultures come many variations on what is traditionally called a “march”
    The Celtic style march is slow and rolliing, the Souza style is bold and brash and has it’s specific musical requirements.

    The New Orleans March, aka 2nd line March, aka 2nd line funk, is a very specific and well established traditional rhythm, or related group of rhythms that is not necessarily synonymous with “Funk”.

    It originated as a marching music form and continues today to be used for that, despite the fact that many people are not aware of this.

    I have to repeat myself here, please look it up.

    The second line family of funk rhythms are explicitly and indisputably a group of traditional march beats which have been appropriated in modern times for use in popular recorded funk, blues and rock music, not as you indicate, the other way round.

    They are technically referred to as 2nd line march feel.

    And they are still used in New Orleans during traditional parades and funerals.

    Not all funk beats are marches, but those based on the New Orleans 2nd line march feel are. The best known and most popular of these 2nd line march rhythms is the so called “Bo Diddly rhythm”, more commonly heard in blues and rock, whereas the related form I used is best known to listeners outside of New Orleans as a “funky drummer” or “james Brown” beat, but these descriptors lack a knowledge of the many distinctions in different types of funk, and ignore the well documented history of these music styles.

    I must respectfully disagree with your characterization of why I call this a march. Technically, musicologically, this is a march beat, created for use in traditional parade forms and played in one form or another today at all New Orleans marching events.

    A widespread lack of knowledge of this does not change the facts. Ask any expert on funk drumming styles or on New Orleans music, history and culture and you will get the same answer.

    It may be known to you generically as a “funk beat” but I assure you, I asked the expert drummer to play a “funky New Orleans 2nd line March ”
    He knew exactly what I meant and this is what he played.

    If anyone is considering the musical style of this song not to technically be a march and is planning not to vote for it for that reason, I would only humbly ask once more, please look up the history and contemporary cultural role of this traditional march song form.

    If you don’t like the song, don’t vote for it. If you think it’s not a march, you are factually incorrect and I assure you, any research you do into this subject will return rich rewards to you in your appreciation and discovery of this wonderful and misunderstood music style and the fascinating culture that is still centered on parades, marches and their traditional funky beats.

  63. Andrew Thomson Says:

    Interesting historical footnote:

    Due to it’s close association with the multi-ethnic “Mardis Gras Indian” subculture of New Orleans which traces it’s history to the days of slavery,maesny have theorized that the origins of these 2nd line grooves comes from the blending of African and Native American Indian musical cultures.

    This has not been proven and is widely disputed, although the origins of the “Mardis Gras Indian” subculture itself did indeed originate in a culture and genetic lineage created when escaped slaves found refuge in Native American communities in the Louisiana Bayou, just as the “Indians” themselves have long insisted, despite much popular skepticism.

    Perhaps the musical origins of this type of groove will someday be similarly proven but for now, we have only the oral tradition that holds this story to be true.

  64. Andrew Thomson Says:

    and by “maesny” I mean to say “many” heh heh… now the teacher goes to the back of the class.

  65. Ian & Melissa (Ian) Says:

    @Andrew Thomson: Hear hear. I think at least a third to a half of the songs have been accused of not being marches :)

    These are all marches:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l27AvG9Z6Ks&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyLjbMBpGDA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55cabGJhp64

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Xh-ZZFPZI&feature=related

    As the wikipedia gods said: “A march, as a musical genre, is a piece of music with a strong regular rhythm which **in origin** was expressly written for marching to….”

    i.e. you don’t have to be able to March to it any more than you can do a Jig to

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyJUnZmWFmM

  66. Andrew Thomson Says:

    And Lex, I note that you critique others for not being marchy enough. Really, if a European-American style march rhythm is played on bongos instead of snare, it is still a march rhythm. Though it is admittedly difficult to play bongos while marching, they could be harness mounted, like a snare.

    If we are to discount entries due to not using the “correct” instrument, then how are we to judge your fine entry, clearly a march, though I would say that compared to Souza you are “Marching to your own drummer” (Apologies) with your electronic sounding elements, and a melody and chords that remind me of neo-romantic new wave.

    Is this a double standard?

    Oh wait, I just remembered, you are composite of two of the twentieth century’s greatest Supervillians.

    Through that point of view, your apparent double standard is actually an ingenious plan. If I had only known we could use the force in this contest I would have busted out my Jedi Mind Tricks.

    This IS the songwriter you’re looking for. (Waves hand mysteriously and points at self)

    My mistake in taking you to task for your obvious (though Super Evil) genius, as expressed in your brilliant song this round. As Emily Litella would say, “Nevermind!”

  67. Rhod Durre Says:

    @Perfect Place- I know that death is just around the corner, probably more than halfway there. . .but thanks for the reminder ; )

    Maybe the next challenge will be the “Rap Challenge”. . . we can all hope!

    Anyway, all in good fun- I enjoy the harmonies on your tunes and am looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with next round.

  68. Caleb Hines Says:

    Another interesting historical footnote re: The origin of New Orleans swing rhythms (which I am NOT an expert in by any means!!!) — I have heard somewhere (apparently from wikipedia) that they were also possibly influenced by the French Baroque practice of “notes inégales” (where notes written with equal durations were played unequally).

    Anyway, there were a lot of songs that weren’t *strictly* marches, and I think that’s fine. Some were partially marches. Some were merely evocative of marches. Some just were about marching. Some were about the month of march.

    This round was super awesome, because it was a difficult and seemingly-niche challenge (observe the attrition rate), and yet it has produced some *extremely* diverse entries. Probably the most diverse song fu round I’ve ever heard. Classical to techno to band to philosophy lecture… even some “songs” without lyrics.

    March or not, ultimately, each voter must decide whether they like a song enough to vote for it. Voters can’t be expected to be aware of every technical march form from around the world. Whether something is or is not technically a march is actually less important than whether it evokes a march feel in the voters mind, and that is only *one* small piece of the equation (in addition to style, lyrics, vocal audibility, production quality, instrumentation, melody, counter-melody, harmonies, rhythms, self-referential humor, cuteness, friendships…).

  69. The Rogue Bohemian Says:

    I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the pasa doble, but if we are missing out on votes for not being march-y enough, it’s a *Spanish* march, people. Come on.

    In our original lyrics, replace question marks with accented vowels. For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, here are some alternative lyrics. Translated by an online translator which was painstakingly coded by a third grader.

    “The March of the Stork”

    Nick Wagner is very trustworthy
    because his chickens can’t sing.

    Instead they sign contracts with him
    to tie up snow.

    He dresses up as brightly colored superheroes
    and blasts kindergarteners away to tropical islands when they make him angry.

    There his chickens tie them up with snow
    and deliver them to doorsteps. Nick is happy.

    Honest to goodness. Those are the actual lyrics. The song is definitely NOT about our lady troubles and our dreamed-up ways of solving them. Because we don’t have problems with ladies. Right? RIGHT?! The defense rests.

  70. Caleb Hines Says:

    (Good point from Ian too, about derivative marches)

  71. Berg Says:

    @Bud: no it is more than a day…last time it was a full week, and the votes stared wednesday and end on sunday. So we lose mon. tues. and the second wed. It doesnt really effect much, i just didnt realize it.

  72. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @berg: but this post went up on tuesday, so…

    monday [pm] to sunday = 6 days. tuesday [pm] to sunday = 5 days. so that’s 24 hours less. ;-D

  73. Lex Vader Says:

    @PerfectPlace: Like I can’t think of anything much to say about your entry. The harmonies in the chorus are great. It’s funny at the end. I had trouble paying attention to the lyrics. I voted. That’s all.

    @Andrew, Ian and Melissa: There’s no point in the four of us having a debate. I&M, because you’re the third most popular. Andrew, because you’re the only one here knowledgable enough to recognize your song as a march. And me, because I also interpreted the challenge to fit the styles I was most comfortable with.

    @Berg, you’re right! SHENANIGANS!

  74. Berg Says:

    @Lex: thats not what i ment be this at all Lex, i just didnt realize, so i was pointing it out in case others didnt know.

    Sorry to make comments. Next time I’ll ok it with you first.

  75. Berg Says:

    @Lex. and like you making decisions on other peoples songs being marches or not isnt calling “SHENANIGANS”

    Lets try to keep this positive here…no reason for mudslinging and name calling, but what do I know? I’m the young teenager, maybe i should respect my elders.

  76. riddle Says:

    ok, so my less kind comment was stricken from the record. let me try anew: is it fair to say that i did not like Andrew’s song? that its political bent seems shallow and self-aggrandizing? that whether it’s a march or not matters little when the song itself lacks charm?

  77. Travis Norris Says:

    TRAVIS’ UNSOLICITED AND UNINFORMED COMMENTS (buckle up)
    ———————————————

    I’d like to preface everything by saying that any variation on “I don’t think it sounded like a march” is not really as big of a complaint from me as it might seem. After all, one of my favorite entries of the “10 unique words” round was Edric’s, which strictly speaking completely obliterated the rules of that round. This is music, folks. I realize it’s a competition and we should do our best to adhere to the rules, but when was rock n roll (or any truly expressive, memorable music) about playing it safe? That out of the way, here we go…

    @Andrew: Well, plenty has been said about this song already I think. I didn’t really say “march” to me. Also, not to sound like an old man, but I couldn’t really understand the lyrics this time around, which I guess you could fold into the already-mentioned production concerns. That said, it’s got a nice beat and the band is just as good as last time.

    @Audiomohel: I thought this was pretty amusing. If there was ever an aspect of GI Joe that bothered me it’s the way it makes kids think that war is fun and nobody is seriously injured in it. ;) The guitar starting at about 1:20 is awesome, although it stops sound like a march to me at that point. But, turns out I really like guitar solos, so it’s cool.

    @BergAndJerry: Ah, zombie marches. Jonathan Coulton and roughly 40-70% of the internet would approve (the rest of them would want the song to be about monkeys, pirates, robots, or green potato chips). I think zombies might find the pace grueling. The ending is a nice touch.

    @Caleb: I agree this is exactly the kind of mood I see Dwarves being in when they’re marching out to attack elves (or orcs, or anything else they have reasonable confidence they will beat, which is almost anything). The only thing I would have suggested was multi-tracking the vocals a few more times. I can’t tell if it’s multi-tracked now or not but it sounds like “guy with chorus” more than “dwarven choir”.

    @DarrelMaclaine: I agree with Lex, I am terrified that this was a pre-existing song. :D Maybe the most aggressively catchy tune this time around, and a great parody of the whole brainless-sport-song genre. As mentioned, we have something very much like this in the States for our own particular “football”, so the humor translated just fine. Extremely near miss for voting.

    @Denise: I love the quirky oddness of this tune. I feel pretty safe saying you’ve demonstrated the most range as far as style and genre between round one and round two. As in, I have no idea whatsoever to expect for Round Three. Another near miss vote… I unfortunately voted before the extremely amusing “plot outline” (which oddly enough DOES make the song make more sense to me) which might have clinched it. Feels like this would work well for a sci-fi short film. Or a light show.

    @Edric: I pretty much said everything I intended to at the listening party, so I’ll just add that this is a really striking tune. The minimalistic production was bold and the exact right choice for the song. No trouble understanding the lyrics on this one.

    @GodzPoodlz: You sort of stole this song idea from Lex, so negative one million points for that (just kidding). But yes, excellent use of faux ukeleles, extremely white rapping, aggressively adorable children, AutoTuner (I can identify that part now after some research), self referential lyrics. Didn’t quite catch me well enough for a vote, but if it makes you feel better I’ll probably actually be a fan -after- the competition is over. Unless you break up the band. :(

    @Gorbzilla: Awesome. Just awesome. I wish I could be this nerdy and still be.. cool. +1 for real brass! +1 for all the references (Avenue Q in particular). +1 for embarassing parental posts! (I’m surprised mine haven’t chimed in; maybe they will now).

    @Gremlins: Reminds me of one of those grooving blues rock songs from the late 60s-mid 70s. Ultimately just a little too slow for my tastes, it never quite grabbed me.

    @HisNameisLegs: This is the kind of thing I was originally going to try to write, but was not clever enough and/or couldn’t get the percussion element together. Great job making the traditional 4-piece rock band (with occasional quest appearances from other instruments) sound as much like a marching band as it’s ever likely to. Nearest miss for a vote.

    @Ian&Melissa: This is awesome but just didn’t say “march” to me. The tempo is just a little too free for me to see anybody marching to it. Which was actually good for the song itself; it would have removed considerable feeling and emotion from the song to play it to a strict metronome. Kind of wish it was a bit longer; it’s been since college that I’ve heard good classical piano.

    @Jalapeno Haberneros: Plenty of people have already mentioned the problems with production. Still definitely better than last round. Are you guys recording this live? If you have any way of multitracking I think it would solve the problem. the translated lyrics are fantastic.

    @Jutze: Fighting tooth and nail with Steve and Darrell’s entry for “Most Catchy” of round. Does a good job of expressing some of the emotions that were being felt by many of us in March 2003 without getting heavy-handed about it. Nice bridge, too.

    @Lex: Hey, your song is pretty long, did anybody mention that? What, oh, everybody? Right. Well, “your song is long” is bordering on objective fact BUT I agree with Jason, the song deserved/needed to be as long as it was. I’ve listened to it all the way through probably more than any other entry (other than my own, for obvious reasons) and while -long- it’s never been -boring-. Probably the least silly zombie song I’ve heard.

    @MilesFromNashville: I really like it, but didn’t say “march” to me. Still, it’s gone into “general population” on my iPod so that’s something, right? The vocals could stand to come up in the mix a little, although from the sound of it I’m guessing they were near clipping and had to be taken down a bit. I like.. whatever it is exactly that’s going on around 2:00 as far as instrumentation.

    @PerfectPlace: Satisfying at least some of the 30-60% of the internet who were not on board with the zombie/robot songs is always a good idea. Very pretty chorus, makes me wish I had someone to harmonize with. Nice, clear, easily understood lyrics so good work there. Call and response section was great (surprising more people didn’t do it). Very special award for rhyming “God” with “umlauts”.

    @Richard: I realize mixing the vocals with the ambient background was probably a nightmare. I actually really like the lyrics (somewhat similar in theme to another entry this round, ahem ahem), but the vocals are so reverb’d and AutoTune’d that it was hard to make them out without having the sheet in front of me. All of that said, enjoying it more on subsequent listens.

    @Sara: I like quirky melodic indiepop with unconvential percussion (see also: California Song by Mountain Goats). I have no criticism to offer of this song. Excellent job. (Subscribed to Youtube) :)

    @Scribbles: Ummmm… Uhhhhhh…. yeahhhh. Might not want to let your school district admin hear this one. I checked; I am just barely the nearest Song Fu competitor, geographically. And it makes me nervous. That said you pretty much wrote the song I always -wanted- to write about school but never quite managed. I hope your parents are proud of your courage. Right, Pat? :D

    @Steve: Best production of the round (since GP overproduced on purpose, hehe). As mentioned previously, probably one of the top three most catchy, without being catchy in an aggravating way. Sounds like the Beatles while also sound like Steve Chatterton, and I can’t think of a much higher comment so I’ll leave it there. (I enjoy your website and the page for this song, by the way)

    @TomM: My girlfriend voted for this song instead of mine. I hate you. No, just kidding. I do have a good many friends with a minor Alice obsession though and they all love this tune. Like your entry last round this is growing on me with each listen. I kind of want another 30 seconds or so. The main reason it didn’t make a huge impression on me the first few listens was because it was over before I could decide whether I liked it or not.

    @Travis Norris: 3/4, 120 beats per minute, minor modulating to major key… yep, it’s a march alright! BECAUSE I SAID SO. Seriously though, in retrospect I wish that’d I’d had somebody to play a big church organ (to supplement/replace my rhythm guitar) and a real drummer. As it was I just tried to make the best of the equipment I had. Which, as previously mentioned in the bio, is a guitar, and three more guitars, and one of the cheapest DAWs money can buy.

    So, there are my comments. Feel free to call me stupid and ill informed!

  78. AudioMohel - Jon Says:

    The inspiration behind our march a cross between the 80’s GI Joe cartoon (where no one ever dies) and the war movies where you get the sappy voice over just prior to the credits rolling. I’ll admit (before I get yelled at for it) that the last half of the tune is not a march, but we fulfilled the 1:15 march requirement up front with the first minute twenty and change that was. So, here are the lyrics for your ripping apart pleasure:

    Sargent Slaughter let out a yell
    Wild Bill let loose hell
    They fought bravely and no one got hurt
    At the Battle of Cobra Island

    Rockets Flew and copters crashed
    Throwing pilots safe in the grass
    Ejecting safely without an injury
    At the Battle of Cobra Island

    No one get killed by a gun
    The bombs are made only to stun
    And cobra has an endless infantry
    At the Battle of Cobra Island

    At the Battle of Cobra Island

    (Cue Eric’s Whistling)
    And Cobra Commander? Well, he got away that day.
    Some say we won that battle. I prefer to think of it as a draw.
    I still remember the look on Lady Jay’s face as she looked down at her hands and saw that she broke a fingernail.
    And Alpine… Alpine, how I will miss you… as you go on your well deserved vacation to Hawaii
    You always made the best brownies. You know the special kind, with that ingredient you bought off of Snowjob.
    Flint… Flint, your a dick. Yo Joe!

  79. Lex Vader Says:

    @Berg, I remember being a teen, but I must have missed the part where you argue with people who agree with you. Rest assured, I will not hold you responsible for the secret ninja dingos I have sent to Ken’s house, but they are not the ONLY ones I possess.

  80. Darrell Maclaine Says:

    Lyrics on request. Fair enough really, as it’s a cartoonish version of a northern-English accent quadruple-tracked and chorused/reverbed to all hell. Might as well be in Icelandic.

    It’s time for some football
    So pack up your football things
    We’re off to watch some football
    And all that football brings
    Could you not like football
    I don’t think you could
    ‘Cause there’s one (footballing) reason
    And that’s “football is good”

    CHORUS
    Football is good
    Football is good
    Football is better than something not as good
    Football is good
    Football is good
    If I could watch some football
    I certainly would

    Oh we do love our football
    To football we are attached
    Our favourite thing in football
    Is to watch a football match
    Football sends us crazy
    It really does the biz
    You can’t say football isn’t good
    ‘Cause good’s what football is

    CHORUS x3054

  81. Andrew Thomson Says:

    @riddle, Your critique is a matter of opinion, and I won’t argue against it.

    I don’t know what you mean when you say my song’s “political bent is shallow and self-aggrandizing”. If that’s true, then it’s not just this song, but rather most of my songs and for that matter, most of my life’s work of any kind that is subject to this criticism, as my music has primarily served my activism.

    Would you potentially approve of a politically inspired song if the politics were of a different stripe? Or do you feel this way about political songs in general? Or perhaps you just dislike my song.

    As I said before, if you don’t like the song, don’t vote for it.
    The question of march as a genre is a question of qualification for the contest. If you don’t like that sort of thing, then surely all you have to do is vote for other songs instead!

  82. Lex Vader Says:

    I think his point is you need to sell out already! For example, my next song is going to be all about how awesome riddle is!

  83. Andrew Thomson Says:

    Yes Lex…. I feel the pull of the dark side even now… I should get a job writing jingles for Halliburton and stop writing songs about the history and future of the Civil Rights Movement… yes… then I could pay rent! Perhaps even buy new guitar strings!

    And here I thought marching was inherently political, and a civil rights march was the most authentic expression of myself that could exist in the genre, Perhaps I was wrong…

    (Sings:)”We are marching apolitically, because marches and politics don’t mix, not for civil rights, not off to war to fight, Marching’s not political, we just do it all for kicks (Goose-Step now!)”

  84. Russ Rogers (of GöDZ PööDLZ) Says:

    Beyond the constraints of time with the challenges (you have approximately one week to deliver your recorded song), and Ken has occasionally been generous with those, there are NO RULES for Song Fu. We are allowed to attack each challenge with whatever musicians we can cajole to play on them, using whatever means, instruments, equipment, favors or musical styles we choose. Then it’s up to the voters to decide what got turned in best fits the challenge or just what they LIKE the best, whether it fits the definition of the challenge or not!

    Is His Name Is Legs’ - “The Ocoee Shopper” a march? Definitely! Probably the closest thing to a classic Sousa-march in this Round, despite it’s unique instrumentation for a march! Is “The Ocoee Shopper” a song? It’s peppy tune begs for lyrics! I sincerely wish it had some. (if His Name Is Legs don’t get around to writing lyrics for”The Ocoee Shopper,” I might have to! I consider it a song, even without lyrics.

    OK, what about Denise Hudson’s - “Anna’s Gerbil & The Singularity”? Now, I don’t think this is a song or a march. I look at this more as a “tone poem.” This is the soundtrack to a non-existent animated movie. That doesn’t mean that I think it’s bad. I like “Anna’s Gerbil” a lot! I’ve listened to it several times. I think it would make a great childrens book or a YouTube video. The bizarre plot reminds me of Neil Gaiman-type story, but then again so did “a wormhole where the reject song ideas go.” Denise, are you also a Gaiman fan?

    Now, there has been a lot of commentary around Andrew Thompson’s - “March Of The Martyrs.” Certainly the song is about marching. To my ears it doesn’t sound like “a march.” It reminded me of “Schoolhouse Rock.” (That’s supposed to be a compliment. I really like “Schoolhouse Rock!”) But it’s also apparent to me that Andrew Thompson knows butt loads more about music than I do. The song is soulful and funky and has a cool horn part and back-up vocals. And I don’t see the political bent as shallow or self-aggrandizing at all. If we’re looking for truly shallow and self-aggrandizing, look no further than Godz Poodlz’s - “Godz Poodlz On Parade!” That’s self aggrandizement on steroids!

    @riddle, I can’t tell you how good it made me feel to have somebody I don’t know get it and say that “Godz Poodlz On Parade” is one of their favorite songs! Thank you.

    I will mention that Tom Milsom’s - “March As A Mad Hare” is also not a march by my reckoning, but it’s also one of my favorite songs of this round. I’ve become a true fan of Messrs Milsom.

    My point (if I can find one) is that there is no sense in crying “Foul” or “Shenanigans!” Everything and anything is fair game in Song Fu as far as the song writing and recording goes. Ask the Masked Stranger, if you can find him. We can only do our best and then bug all our friends, family and fans to come listen and vote. And just PRAY that somebody we don’t even know listens and likes our songs too!

    That said, I really do enjoy both constructive criticism and healthy debate. And I’ve learned a lot about New Orleans style 2nd line Marches! I think it’s fine and fair when we question and comment on each other’s work, especially if the goal is to ultimately be encouraging.

    We all found different ways to attack the task of writing a march. And you know what, collectively, we ROCK! May the Fu be with you.

  85. riddle Says:

    @Andrew: music that wears its politics on its sleeve convinces no-one but those who already subscribe to whatever ideology it’s pushing. on the other hand, a song like lennon’s “imagine” manages to be revolutionary and conversionary because its politics are created by the listener’s heart in response.
    it’s the difference between practicing politics as a “lifestyle choice” and practicing politics as an inevitable side effect of living a considered, ethical life.

    @Lex: i look forward to voting for your song about me.

  86. Caleb Hines Says:

    Inherently political marches… To avoid potentially offending listeners, you must choose a political subject that can’t offend anyone… you know, like zombies, robots, ninjas, poodles, or dwarves. ;-)

    My song, for example, would be terribly offensive if it were about real-life people marching off to war!

    @riddle: My last song mentioned you. “That riddle’s better left a mystery.” :-)

  87. Caleb Hines Says:

    @Travis: Thanks for the comments. Yes, I hear what you mean about the thin voice (though I didn’t realize it until recently). It is currently *triple-tracked*, but they do tend to blend more than I had originally thought they would (the “HUZZAH”’s are 4-tracked, but were done with more variation). Some of the blending may be from an excessive correction of rhythm and pitch defects (side note: pitch corrections made using copy-paste from another take, not an auto-tuner). And maybe some might be from poor balancing (I’ll have to check that)…

    It might also be caused by frequently fading out various small sections of tracks where there was clipping. So in some sections, the voice count might briefly be down to 2, or even 1. Yeah… I had trouble recording good vocals this time around, and had to do so under less-than-ideal circumstances. If a too-thin vocal sound is the only indication, then I did a good job hiding it! :-)

  88. Andrew Thomson Says:

    What ideology do you think this song is pushing? The ideology that civil rights are a good idea and that it takes a long time to achieve meaningful change? I thought most folks were converted to that viewpoint long ago. I didn’t realize Martin Luther King was still so controversial!

    This song is not trying to convince anyone of anything, other than to be patient and persistent when struggling for social change.

    It is clearly a song preaching to the choir. I’m sorry that offends your taste.

    I agree that I am inferior to John Lennon. But “Imagine” is overtly political, while many ignore the lyrics specific anti-capitalist, anti-religious, anti-statist, and anti war message, but Lennon did not in any way leave it up to the “listener’s heart” to find that song’s political content. In fact it is full of specific ideological points, while my song speaks generally about MLK and “the movement” without naming any specific political agenda points.

    However John Lennon’s song is more original, artful and moving than mine, I agree to that.

    May I suggest you carefully avoid many of Lennon’s other more direct and literal political movement songs so as not to be further bothered by explicit political agendas?

    Such as: Give Peace a Chance, Sunday Bloody Sunday (not to be confused with U2’s song), John Sinclair aka Got to set him free, Working Class Hero, The Luck of the Irish (feating the lyrics “Blame it all on the kids and the IRA while the English commit Genocide, genocide, aye aye”), “Woman is the N***** of the world (think about it, do something about it)”, Revolution, Attica State , Just Gimme Some Truth, God, I found out, I don’t want to be a soldier I don’t want to die, Angela (a tribute to Angela Davis)

    and many more.

    For more information on Lennon’s political life and the US governments long campaign against him because of his extensive political activism, please see the excellent and popular documentary “the U.S. vs John Lennon” at

    http://www.theusversusjohnlennon.com

  89. Andrew Thomson Says:

    And with apologies to those who couldn’t hear the now controversial lyrics to my entry, here they are so folks can decide for themselves whether they are the good kind of political lyrics or the bad kind.

    March of the Martyrs

    The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice.
    that’s what Martin Luther King said.
    The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice.
    that’s what Martin Luther King said.
    The road that we’ve got to keep marching on is long but if we’re strong then it ends with justice.

    Many have fallen, but the movement marches on.
    Hear the children calling, singing a freedom song.
    We couldn’t have come this far without the ones who came before
    And we’re going to keep on pushing, till we bust down the door,
    and we won’t need any martyrs anymore, we won’t need any martyrs anymore.
    Never anymore.

  90. Andrew Thomson Says:

    Imagine
    by John Lennon (who was a better songwriter and activist than I, but who did literally wear his politics on his sleeve, wearing and promoting white armbands for peace and against the Vietnam War)

    Imagine there’s no heaven
    It’s easy if you try
    No hell below us
    Above us only sky
    Imagine all the people
    Living for today…

    Imagine there’s no countries
    It isn’t hard to do
    Nothing to kill or die for
    And no religion too
    Imagine all the people
    Living life in peace…

    You may say I’m a dreamer
    But I’m not the only one
    I hope someday you’ll join us
    And the world will be as one

    Imagine no possessions
    I wonder if you can
    No need for greed or hunger
    A brotherhood of man
    Imagine all the people
    Sharing all the world…

    You may say I’m a dreamer
    But I’m not the only one
    I hope someday you’ll join us
    And the world will live as one

  91. Travis Norris Says:

    @Andrew: Yeah, not much controversial about those lyrics. To be honest I expected something with… shall we say a stronger central opinion after your round one song. This mostly reinforces my comment above that I wish the lyrics had been clearer in the mix.

    re: Lennon: The way people have edited out the bits of Imagine that they don’t like/agree with has always been amusing and confounding to me (but it fulfills by daily Irony Requirement when I hear a church choir sing it).

    Let me submit a formal request that you post the lyrics a little sooner next round, eh? :)

  92. Denise Hudson Says:

    I just have to say I’m really stoked that I’m doing so well. I guess the good advice and the reading of manuals has paid off. There’s songs that I’m really proud to be around in this fu contest, more than happy to be bested by and (frankly) a bit appalled to be beating (but not really … no … yeah … no, okay, yeah :) ). This has been a great experience for me as I’m usually a real hermit crab. I’m working on my reviews. They are more than one sentence long and I’ve had family dinner-type things and also lost my cell phone at a bar.
    DH

  93. Rhod Durre Says:

    @Travis- Thanks for the comments. You’re right, though, we blatantly ripped off Lex’s idea for the ultimate Fu song. . . I can’t help but wonder whether REAL ukuleles would have made a difference in your vote. . .

    I’m glad though that you’ll be a fan after the competition. . . but ONLY if we break up : )

  94. Caleb Hines Says:

    New blog post is up, describing my song. Click my name, or just go to

  95. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    oh andrew, andrew, andrew. didn’t your mother tell you never to feed trolls. ;-P

    @travis norris: thanks for the kind words! we wanted to throw in the ’sound off! one two!’ but ran out of drum track and audacity suxxx with three x’s for copy/pasting, which i had done enough of already.

  96. Lex Vader Says:

    @Travis: Please, sir! It’s not a zombie song. It’s a HUMANITY song. You are stupid and ill informed!

    @Andrew: I would recommend avoiding those John Lennon songs anyway, as most people don’t like political songs. Music is supposed to be an artistic statement, but a political song is just a political statement using the medium as propaganda, provided the song is blatant enough that it isn’t seen as song first, and politics second. If you want to send a message, it’s best to be less obvious, have people get into the music first and realize the message second. If it’s just something you have to express, then you don’t have to be blatant either. Self expression is like screaming. As long as you get it out, it doesn’t matter if anyone understands. But as far as making a viable form of entertainment, it’s better people not understand the subtext than not understand why someone’s doing an overtly political song whose preaching taints the enjoyment. For example, nobody knew my song “Just A Rock” was really about Afghanistan.

    But I say keep doing whatever you want. I wouldn’t tell you to stop writing political songs. I enjoy the discussion of what works in music, but I would never want someone to, say, convince Garth Brooks that country music is stupid, or else he might have stuck with that Chris Gaines thing. And then we’d all lose.

    And remember: Please don’t kill the babies. The babies deserve to live. They’re round and soft and full of life, with so much love to give! La la la la don’t kill the baaabies.

    (Just kidding.)

  97. Travis Norris Says:

    @Lex: Walked into that one, didn’t I…. sheesh. That’s what I get for inviting a gestalt supervillain to pwn me.

    Hey! Everybody! I’m on twitter and Myspace now.
    Twitter: travisnorris (creative!)
    Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/govdynamics

    I’ve been using the name Governing Dynamics since high school but did not use it to enter this competition for some reason I myself do not fully grasp. Anyway. The site layout is very ugly at the moment, BUT there are songs in addition to the two you all have hopefully heard. Friend me, follow me. eStalk me! Do it. Do it now.

  98. Caleb Hines Says:

    Hehe… Whoops. Let’s try that URL again.

    http://refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com/2009/06/song-fu-challenge-2.html

  99. riddle Says:

    @ImperfectPlace: just because i give honest commentary that doesn’t pretend that everybody who competes in this is “great,” does not make me a troll. in fact, your indirect insult is more trollish, as it is a solely incendiary comment, without other merit. i stand by all my previous comments as legitimate discourse. and, geez, at least i don’t go on AT LENGTH trying to sway people, as some do.

  100. Andrew Thomson Says:

    I really enjoy a good debate, it reveals much about the writers.
    What have we learned? Different strokes for different folks.

    Many overtly political songwriters have many fans.
    While many others decry and dislike clearly stated politics in music.

    Is this a paradox? No. What some hear as annoying self righteous propaganda, others hear as a rousing expression of passionate feelings and ideas they enjoy hearing.

    It’s a matter of taste. Many folks find novelty songs annoying, but most audiences love them. Hip Hop and Country are two of the most widely hated and criticized musical genres, but they are also the two most popular styles, with the biggest audiences.

    Opera is even more despised, ranking above the other styles in it’s high number of non-fans who hate it passionately, studies have found it to be the least popular musical style of all, yet many undeniably expert musicologists and other educated, cultured folks consider it not only the greatest music but in fact the greatest art form of all.

    I personally love Bob Dylan, Victor Jara, Phil Ochs, Spearhead, The Coup, Country Joe and the Fish, CSNY, Peter Gabriel, System of a Down, The Clash, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Woody Guthrie, Joe HIll, Paul Simon, Neil Young, John Denver, Jackson Browne, John Prine, Bruce Cockburn, Pete Seeger, Leadbelly, Billy Bragg, Bruce Springsteen, Tracy Chapman, John Lennon and many other popular political songwriters, though I know not everyone likes them. If you like the fact that these songwriters write explicit unambiguous political lyrics, that’s your personal taste.

    But to say that’s not what music is for, sorry but one’s personal distaste for a particular style or subject matter doesn’t make it a misuse of music itself!

    As far as feeding the alleged under-bridge creatures goes, this debate has brought more votes to my song and a lot of web traffic to my sites, so I’d like to keep the arguments going as long as possible! ( Controversy sells, thanks for the free promotion, critics! Bwah ha ha ha! )

    ; - )

  101. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    “@ImperfectPlace: just because i give honest commentary that doesn’t pretend that everybody who competes in this is “great,” does not make me a troll. in fact, your indirect insult is more trollish, as it is a solely incendiary comment, without other merit. i stand by all my previous comments as legitimate discourse. and, geez, at least i don’t go on AT LENGTH trying to sway people, as some do.”

    way to reply to my ‘indirect insult’ with more indirect insults. ;-D what a clever jab at my group’s name!!!

    there’s a difference between honest commentary and the proliferation of bickering about musical genres on a message board that is meant to be generally positive in nature. sorry. i call ‘em as i see ‘em.

  102. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    p.s. lex was trolling you too, but in a nicer way.

    and i love lex.

    so really man, it’s not that big of an insult. just chill out.

  103. Andrew Thomson Says:

    This is one of my favorite topics to debate, so here’s some more. If you don’t like my long comments, don’t read them.

    As humans, we all have a responsibility to participate in the topical issues that surround us. Artists are not exempt from normal human social responsibility.

    And with the special and unique access to the hearts and minds of our audiences that artists enjoy, it is worth considering that perhaps the content of our work is subject to special ethical consideration, just as a carpenter has a special responsibility to build a safe building, a schoolteacher has a special responsibility to be ethical and socially conscious in their teaching, perhaps an artist is not exempt from similar standards in their art.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_and_politics

    Wkipedia has an entertaining page on music and politics with links to many lists of such songs in different styles.

    Here’s an interesting sample, I didn’t know this, but apparently I could add many of the great classical composers to my list of political songwriters:

    From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_and_politics :

    Beethoven’s third symphony was originally called “Bonaparte”. In 1804 Napoleon crowned himself emperor, whereupon Beethoven rescinded the dedication. The symphony was renamed “Heroic Symphony composed to Celebrate the Memory of a Great Man”.
    Verdi’s chorus of Hebrew slaves in the opera Nabucco is sometimes considered to be a kind of rallying-cry for Italians to throw off the yoke of Austrian domination (in the north) and French domination (near Rome) - the “Risorgimento”. Following unification, Verdi was awarded a seat in the national parliament.
    RAPM (The Russian Association of Proletarian Musicians) was formed in the early 1920s. In 1929 Stalin gave them his backing. Shostakovich had dedicated his first symphony to Mikhail Kvardi. In 1929 Kvardi was arrested and executed. In an article in The Worker and the Theatre, Shostakovich’s The Tahitit Trot (from the ballet The Golden Age) was criticised. “Can one actually dance to such music”, said Ivan Yershov. the article claimed it was part of “ideology harmful to the proletariat”". Shostakovich’s response was to write his third symphony, The First of May (1929) to express “the festive mood of peaceful construction”.[1][2]
    Prokofiev wrote music to order for the Soviet Union, but managed to keep his musical standard high. Cantata for the 20th Anniversary of the October Revolution (1937) is far from banal. Khachaturian’s ballet Spartacus (1954/6) concerns gladiator slaves who rebel against their former Roman masters. It was seen as a metaphor for the overthrow of the Czar. Similarly Prokofiev’s music for the film Alexander Nevsky concerns the attack of Teutonic knights into the Baltic states. It was seen as a metaphor for the Nazi invasion of the USSR. In general Soviet music was neo-romantic while Fascist music was neo-classical.
    “I don’t believe anyone venerates Mussolini more than I” said Stravinsky in 1930 to a Rome newspaper.[3] By 1943 Stravinsky was banned in Nazi Germany because he had chosen to live in the USA. Beginning in 1940, Orff’s cantata Carmina Burana was performed at Nazi Party functions, and acquired the status of a quasi-official anthem.[4] In 1933 Berlin Radio issued a formal ban on the broadcasting of jazz. However, it was still possible to hear swing music played by German bands. This was because of the moderating influence of Goebbels, who knew the value of entertaining the troops. In the period 1933-45 the music of Mahler, a Jewish Austrian, virtually disappeared from the concert performances of the Berlin Philharmonic.[5]
    Richard Strauss’s opera Die Schweigsame Frau was banned from 1935–1945 because the librettist, Stefan Zweig, was a Jew.[6] In the Trblinka death camp, new arrivals were presented with a deceptive scene. A ten-piece orchestra played jazz and Jewish folk tunes[7] Shloyme Klezmer stood by the entrance of the gas chambers and played with the orchestra as the bodies were gassed. He saw his son being led in and pulled him out of the line. As SS officer saw this and laughed. Shloyme smashed his violin over the SS officer’s head and marched with his only child into the gas chamber[8]

    This last account reminds us that avoidance of politics by an artist is an amoral privilege only available to the well off few, while for the majority of people in the world, politics is not optional. It is an unavoidable struggle for survival and freedom, and the universal inclusion of it in songs is to quote a previous post the “inevitable side effect of living a considered, ethical life.

    Since there is only one more day to go in this lively debate thread, I’ll lay down the challenge:

    I maintain that politics and life itself cannot be separated, except through wealth, power, oppression, segregation and privilege, and that it is unethical for any artist to ignore the politics of their time and place.

    And don’t get me started on the vital role of music in every struggle that has brought humanity forward from the days of slavery and open conquest to help win us all the comforts and rights we treasure today, such as the freedom to debate these issues.

  104. Andrew Thomson Says:

    By the way, I so enjoy discussing this issue that I intentionally left several logical holes in my arguments, I’m surprised no one has picked up on that.

  105. A. Weishaupt Says:

    Mmmmmm…..logical holes. Love ‘em. They go delightfully well with coffee in the throes of a hangover.

  106. maude Says:

    So nice that Andrew has recovered from his closed head injury.

  107. Russ Rogers (of GöDZ PööDLZ) Says:

    OK, let’s point out some logical holes here.

    As far as I can tell, riddle is not a contestant in Song Fu, he’s an observer and a FAN. From the detailed, informed and intelligent commentary he left during the voting kerfuffle of Round 1, my guess is that riddle may also work for quickstopentertainment.com, which would make him one of our HOSTS too!

    At no pont have riddle’s comments degenerated into direct name calling. At one point he called the political bent of Andrew Thompson’s song “shallow and self-aggrandizing.” Andrew may have taken that personally. I know that I have trouble distancing myself from comments made about my songs. But that was riddle’s criticism of the song, not Andrew Thompson the man. I don’t think riddle’s main problem with Andrew’s song was it being political, I think he found the song simplistic and pedantic. Maybe I’m putting words in riddle’s mouth, and if that’s the case, I’m sorry.

    But Andrew Thompson is very sure of himself. He has shown little doubt that he knows his positions are right. And he’s willing to go to great lengths argue and prove them all, all the way to invoking Godwin’s Law! (Seriously, why did Nazi death camps enter this conversation?) I don’t know if Andrew’s song in pedantic, but I found his comment, “I intentionally left several logical holes in my arguments, I’m surprised no one has picked up on that,” irritatingly pedantic. Don’t make what you think are stupid arguments just to see if people will pick up on their stupidity. That’s rude and condescending.

    At another point riddle said that Perfect Place’s characterization of him as a troll was “more trollish.” But do we really need to debate whose comments are more trollish? It just doesn’t matter!

    riddle’s a nice guy with strong opinions. riddle didn’t attack Andrew Thompson personally, so Perfect Place didn’t need to jump to Andrew’s defense. riddle is a FAN who is willing to give detailed critiques of songs. How many of those do we have? How many of those are we willing to insult and drive away, even if we are SURE we are right?

    The last thing the Song Fu Challengers need to do is insult the observers, fans, commentators and voters who come to this page. We especially don’t want to insult our hosts or the people who make the quick-stop trains run on time. We have enough problems attracting fans to this page without incessantly arguing with or insulting the few that come here. At best we will bore our fans, at worst we will actually drive them away.

  108. Travis Norris Says:

    @Russ: Well said. If anything the length and depth of the debate certainly killed the comment thread, which was kind of a bummer as I thought there was a lot more (not to mention a lot more productive) discussion last round.

    Also… I’m not sure that what amounts to a lighthearted song showcase leaning heavily towards novelty songs is the best place to go throwing down the gauntlet and making grand, sweeping claims about The Ethical Responsibilities of All Artists. It’s a discussion I am interested in (probably in a college course called The Ethical Responsibilities of All Artists - 301) but not in a contest that previously sponsored a round in which “Dracula vs. High School Physics” was not only a possible song concept but a -likely- one.

    Anyway, in about 5 hours this thread will most likely be deader than THAC0 and we can all get on with that writing/recording/listening/voting thing. Personally, I can’t wait. ;)

    (And LOL about Godwin’s Law, I’d never actually heard of it before, but per the Wikipedia defintion it’s certainly true.)

  109. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    thanks for the summary russ. :-D for the record though, i really wasn’t just talking about riddle and i certainly wasn’t defending andrew. if anything i was condemning his excessive defense of the so-called ‘attacks’ more than anything else, and his lengthy replies appeared as troll feeding [even if it seems he was just throwing troll bait to average people].

    so i’ve taken his hint and i’m not reading the posts because, well, they’re too long and i simply don’t care. all due respect, but i don’t think this board is the place to be prattling on about genres and politics. but i could be wrong, that’s just my opinion right?

    anyway, no hard feelings and i don’t mean to be insulting in anything i’m saying.

  110. Ian & Melissa (Ian) Says:

    351 votes this round vs. 1292 last round. Did the vote system change? Were people just less exciting about promoting their marches? I know we were :)

    I hope next round is less band camp and more 21st century.

  111. Darrell Maclaine Says:

    It’s looking to be two no 16 positions in a row for me! Though slightly less impressive with seven less contenders…

    I’ll almost feel disappointed if I don’t rank sixteenth in the other two rounds now. I do enjoy continuity…

  112. Lex Vader Says:

    This one time, at band camp, a stuck a flute in a Song Fu.

  113. Steve Chatterton Says:

    @Ian - The first round of a new Fu tends to bring out more voters attracted to the smell of fresh meat. Then the novelty wears off.

  114. Cobra Says:

    Way to go Berg and Jerry!!!! Congrats!!

  115. Caleb Hines Says:

    I was going to joke that the other 900 voters were Caleb Lee supporters, but that might be taken the wrong way.

  116. Travis Norris Says:

    @Caleb: I was going to attribute it to some of the other seven who didn’t get a song turned in, also ;) Several of them have fairly large followings, I thought.

  117. mmm122 Says:

    Tom Milsom is genius.

  118. Steve Chatterton Says:

    I exercised similar discretion.

  119. riddle Says:

    just to be clear, i am in no way employed/associated with quickstopentertainment. i am solely a FAN who, as an artist myself, strongly believes honest criticism is the best support an artist can get. i must also admit that a couple of my harsher criticisms, to one Song Fu-er in particular, were removed by the Mod before most of you saw them. they were provoked by my irritation at the over-defensive and longwinded responses my previous criticisms received. i will do my best to not chow down on such “troll-bait” in the future. ;)
    good luck to all of you in the next round.

  120. Caleb Hines Says:

    FYI, current cumulative top 8 standings, if my calculations are correct:

    1st - Berg & Jerry (231)
    2nd - Perfect Place (199)
    3rd - Tom Milson (181)
    4th - Ian & Melissa (153)
    5th - Sara Parsons (132)
    6th - Gorbzilla (126)
    7th - Caleb Lee (123)
    8th - Edric Haleen (118)

  121. Ian & Melissa (Ian) Says:

    Anyone know if we get a break this time?

  122. Travis Norris Says:

    @Ian: Next challenge is supposed to be announced by the end of the day.. so if I understand your question I believe the answer is “no”. Bummer…

  123. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @ian: i’d say no. they said the new challenge should be up tonight.

    i’m excited. ;-D

  124. Caleb Hines Says:

    IIRC from the listening party, the next challenge is scheduled to drop today. It hasn’t yet (as of ten seconds ago).

  125. Andrew Thomson Says:

    Sorry that my lengthy posts bothered anyone.

    As I said, you can skip them if you’re not interested.

    I tried to keep them interesting and informative.

    Frankly I was personally attacked but I never responded to the direct personal attack, I just ignored it but if you look carefully you’ll find it.

    Sorry if my joke about logical holes infuriated some. I was trying to add some levity to my serious comments.

    Also, I never raised the issue of politics in music, this was raised by several people towards me, so I posted my heartfelt thoughts and some interesting other information to add to the dialog.

    I thought discussing the merits of various approaches to music was part of the fun here. Certainly as several people said politics has no place in music, the issue was raised by the room. I posted my response.

    Since I was the only one posting in favor of music in politics, I thought I should make as good an argument as I could, and share my deepest thoughts and feelings plus some objective info as well.

    My posts have been good natured and ignored the personal attacks (saying my approach is “politics as a lifestyle choice” and contrasting me against those who live with politics as part of an “ethical considered life”)

    How is it ok to say that my work is simplistic and pedantic, shallow, self-aggrandizing, and too many other negative words to recount, to say that my life’s work making mostly political music is the wrong way to write songs and that politics should not be explicit in songs, yet it is not ok for me to posit my personal opinion that artists have as much social responsibility as everyone else on earth? (if not more)

    Again, I did not bring up the topic and I did not go on at length about it until many critical commenters had brought it up repeatedly as a criticism of my musical style.

    This is a subject very close to my heart, yes I have a lot to say about it, but I thought deep discussions about music were part of the fun here.

    Sorry some took it so seriously that they couldn’t enjoy the debate.

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