Tag: paul-and-storm

  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: The Winner Announced!

    songfu2.jpg

    SIGN-UP FOR THE NEXT EDITION OF SONG FU WILL BEGIN ON MONDAY, MAY 4th, 2009

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    Well, you voted on the Round 3 Challenge HERE. Your votes determined the one Master and the one Challenger who would battle head-to-head  – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis – in the final challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    FINAL CHALLENGE

    I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

    Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

    lucyline.gif

    Below, you’ll find the Final Challenge songs from both Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis, followed by the all-important voting form.  For all of the previous songs from all of our Masters and Challengers, you can find the archive of this edition of Masters Of Song Fu HERE. But for now, here’s Paul & Storm vs the triumphant Molly Lewis…

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    PAUL & STORM vs MOLLY LEWIS

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    FINAL CHALLENGE SONG:Frogger! The Frogger Musical
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
    ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They got all better for the Final.

    MOLLY LEWIS – ****THE WINNER****

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    FINAL CHALLENGE SONG:Our American Cousin
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    [display_podcast]

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    FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

    [poll id=”17″]

    View Results

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    Not only did Molly Lewis triumph, but she’s won remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, and has also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Molly Lewis brought the Fu. Can you?

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Final Challenge Voting Begins!

    songfu2.jpg

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    Well, you voted on the Round 3 Challenge HERE. Your votes determined the one Master and the one Challenger who would battle head-to-head  – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis – in the final challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    FINAL CHALLENGE

    I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

    Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

    lucyline.gif

    Below, you’ll find the Final Challenge songs from both Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis, followed by the all-important voting form. Beneath that, we’ve also included a pair of out-of-competition “Shadow Entries” done by Challengers just for fun (be sure to give ’em a spin, too). For all of the previous songs from all of our Masters and Challengers, you can find the archive of this edition of Masters Of Song Fu HERE. But for now, let’s get this show on the road – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis…

    lucyline.gif

    PAUL & STORM vs MOLLY LEWIS

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    FINAL CHALLENGE SONG:Frogger! The Frogger Musical
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
    ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They got all better for the Final.

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    FINAL CHALLENGE SONG:Our American Cousin
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    [display_podcast]

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    FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

    Voting ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009.

    [poll id=”17″]

    View Results

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    THE SHADOW ENTRIES

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    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    SHADOW ENTRY – FINAL CHALLENGE:#onedayintwitter
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
    ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
    leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    SHADOW ENTRY – FINAL CHALLENGE:Reunion Street
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
    ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

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    Whoever triumphs will not only win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, they will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

    lucyline.gif


  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Final Challenge Revealed!

    songfu2.jpg

    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

    lucyline.gif

    After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

    lucyline.gif

    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    lucyline.gif

    And now, for archival purposes, you’ll find the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below – even those who had to drop out along the away – as well as the results of the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 voting. At the very bottom of the page, you’ll find THE FINAL CHALLENGE! Oh, and who are the Challengers? Find out below!

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re brought in 3 (well, 5, if you’re being technical) very special Masters. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and the ultimate challengers:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
    ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They shall return for the Final.

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile
    ROUND 2 SONG:My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
    ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
    leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day
    ROUND 2 SONG:Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
    ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family. His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between. Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush. He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding. Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
    ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me
    ROUND 2 SONG:You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
    Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
    ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want
    ROUND 2 SONG:Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

    RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

    “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers. While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.” There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson. Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger) partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.” After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences. LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different. Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Walking Song

    HEATHER HENDERSON

    Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

    Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Song

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Little Happy Thought

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    THE FINAL CHALLENGE

    All the votes have been tallied, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes over the course of the last 3 Challenges is MOLLY LEWIS!  She’ll be going head-to-head against Masters PAUL & STORM… So what exactly is the Final Challenge?

    I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

    Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

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    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, April 21st, 2009.

    Voting on the Final Round will commence on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009.

    All former Challengers are encouraged to shadow this round – join in the fun! Anyone who sends in a shadow entry will be featured.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Listening Party!

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    On Monday, April 13th, we’ll be announcing the FINAL CHALLENGE for this edition of Masters Of Song Fu, during which one Challenger will square off against Masters Paul & Storm.

    However, let’s have a bit of a party – a celebration, if you will – before that happens.

    This evening – Friday, April 10th – we’ll be holding a special live, streaming listening party. Not only will we be playing every song submitted during the trio of Challenges that have comprised this edition of Song Fu, but we’ll also be giving away some pretty sweet prizes.

    The event begins at 8pm EST, and you can access it by clicking HERE

    Come on out, support all of the wonderful artists, and perhaps walk away with a prize. What more can you ask for?

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 3 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

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    After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 & Round 2 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 & 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also find the Round 3 Challenge songs and be able to place your votes. Remember folks – this is the last challenge before the Final, and will decide who goes mano-a-mano with a Master!

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
    ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They shall return for the Final.

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile
    ROUND 2 SONG:My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
    ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
    leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day
    ROUND 2 SONG:Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
    ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
    ROUND 3 SONG:It All Makes Sense At The End

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    ROUND 3 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on THURSDAY, APRIL 9th.

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    ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 3 Challenge Revealed!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

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    You’ll find the Round 1 & Round 2 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 & 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is! remember folks – this is the last challenge before the Final, and will decide who goes mano-a-mano with a Master!

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile
    ROUND 2 SONG:My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
    ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
    leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
    ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me
    ROUND 2 SONG:You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
    Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
    ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want
    ROUND 2 SONG:Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day
    ROUND 2 SONG:Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
    ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)

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    ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

    For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, March 31st, 2009.

    Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu: Red Nose Special

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    rednosenet.jpgOn Friday, March 13th, myself (Ken Plume, natch) and Needcoffee.com‘s Widgett Walls embarked on a 24-hour live webcast on www.RedNoseNet.com, in support of Comic Relief.

    A call was put out to former and current Masters Of Song Fu challengers to participate in a special “Red Nose Day Challenge”. A quartet of Challengers came forward, and we played the songs during the webcast. Below, you’ll find the tunes. Also, you’ll find a link to the right that you can click and donate to Comic Relief. Your support for this amazing charity is appreciated, and many thanks to the Challengers who gave their time.

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    RED NOSE DAY CHALLENGE

    In the spirit of Red Nose Day, your challenge is to write a song that gets everybody involved – and by that, I mean a rousing song that includes passages that invite the listener to sing along. Think songs like “Hey Jude” or “All You Need Is Love”. And that’s it. The rest is up to you.
    Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    RED NOSE SONG:Nerdy Cougar

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.com
    RED NOSE SONG:Stand By For Lovin’

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    RED NOSE SONG:Put Your Red Nose On

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    RED NOSE SONG:Big Red Nose

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. Our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

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    You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Masters below, including the 10 words they chose for their songs. Immediately following, you’ll be able to place your votes…

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
    ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile
    ROUND 2 SONG:My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
    ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
    leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness
    ROUND 2 SONG:The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
    ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me
    ROUND 2 SONG:You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)
    ROUND 2 SONG:Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish
    ROUND 2 SONG:I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline
    ROUND 2 SONG:Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
    Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
    ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want
    ROUND 2 SONG:Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song
    ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy
    ROUND 2 SONG:A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day
    ROUND 2 SONG:Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
    ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/schult
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
    ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)

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    ROUND 2 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. Also, if you enjoy their tune, be sure to vote for our reigning Masters of Song Fu – Paul & Storm, as those votes will count when the other remasters rejoin in the next round. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on MONDAY, MARCH 9th.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE MASTERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 2 Challenge Revealed!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People

    RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

    “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Walking Song

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness

    HEATHER HENDERSON

    Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

    Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Song

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
    ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
    Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
    ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Little Happy Thought

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains

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    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

    Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

    Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Thursday, February 26th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Friday, February 27th, 2009.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s how some other artists tackled happy songs…
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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 1 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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    Right now, let’s check out the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters and Challengers (streaming links for all the songs can be found after the bio section). At the bottom of the page, you’ll then be able to place your votes.

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
    ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe

    GARFUNKEL & OATES

    songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

    Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
    ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
    ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer  .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
    ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People

    RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

    “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Walking Song

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
    ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness

    HEATHER HENDERSON

    Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

    Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy Song

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
    ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
    ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
    Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
    ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
    ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
    Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
    ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
    Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
    ROUND 1 SONG:One Little Happy Thought

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com
    ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains

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    ROUND 1 VOTING

    And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. Also, be sure to vote for your favorite song from our reigning Masters of Song Fu – Neil Innes and Paul & Storm. You may only vote for one Master, though, so make it count. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18th.

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    View Results

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    ROUND 1 VOTING – THE MASTERS

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    View Results

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 1 Challengers and Challenge Revealed

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors will now be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

    Oh, and what do we call this competition?

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    MASTERS OF SONG FU

    For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

    NEIL INNES

    songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

    It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

    While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

    Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

    Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

    It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

    He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

    Official Website: www.egowarriors.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm

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    In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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    THE CHALLENGERS

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

    Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com

    JASON MORRIS

    songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

    Official Website: www.jason-morris.com

    EDRIC HALEEN

    songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

    Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY

    “BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

    songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

    Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com

    INSANE IAN

    songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer  .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

    Official Website: www.insaneian.com

    JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

    My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

    Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html

    MICK BORDET

    songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

    Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com

    CHARLIE WOLF

    Charlie Wolf has always been much better at writing songs than at writing third-person biographies about himself. While still a teenager, Charlie Wolf is already an accomplished ‘multi-instrumentalist’, playing guitar, bass, accordion, and keyboards. In the past year or so, Charlie has began playing private parties and coffee-house gigs in the Los Angeles area, which sounds way more interesting than it actually is. His music ranges from hilarious comedy songs to tender ballads, and more often than not, somewhere in between. He would like to thank the academy, but cannot, because he does not know where the academy is or how they would like to be thanked.

    Official Website: www.gypsypunk.net/cw/

    RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

    “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

    Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com

    THE MASKED STRANGER

    The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777

    HEATHER HENDERSON

    Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

    Official Website: www.HHenderson.com

    BRYCE JENSEN

    Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

    Official Website: www.brycejensen.com

    JEFF FARDINK

    Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

    Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com

    TIMOTHY RUSH

    On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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    Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234

    CRABBYDAD

    Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

    Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com

    HANK GREEN

    Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

    Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com

    SHANE PETERSON

    Name’s Shane Peterson. Live in Red Hook, NY. 21 years of age. Alleged film and music guru. Intrepid traveller breaking the walls of perception, riding the infinite wave…

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    Official Website: None

    MIKE LOMBARDO

    Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

    Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com

    HALLELUJAH APE

    “Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape

    JALEPENO HABANEROS

    In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

    Official Website: None

    DENISE HUDSON

    Denise Hudson once pulled a toenail during load in, later “nailing” the gig in front of an ex. Saving the phalangial flotsam for conversion into a guitar pick may seem a macabre jest; but does it indicate vileness, or merely a haunting dedication to her craft?  Playing the piano like a dark pink freight train on a cloud, she’ll indulge diverse requests from Brahms to Nintendo themes. Denise was nourished by an intellectually wealthy family. She once acquired a flautist from a nearby Mexican restaurant to perform “mythical” elfin soliloquies for a be-stricken audience. UT Austin music school honed sticks, skins and sleeplessness skills; but you can’t edju-ma-cate the blues.  She taught herself guitar, and her unusually skilled brother claims she “taught him to play drums.” Denise performed on his and others’ albums, in various duos, stupid hats, cover acts, and in a noteworthy “Texas blues folk rock band with creative lyrical twists & an (occasionally) naked lead guitarist.” A traveler, a poet, and sub-par housekeeper, Denise will continue churning out controversial family favorites in her awesome new home studio in 2009.

    Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

    HAZEN NESTER

    Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

    Official Website: www.hazennester.com

    AUDIOMOHEL

    Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

    Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com

    MOLLY LEWIS

    When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

    Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/

    JARRETT HEATHER

    Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

    Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net

    JUTZE SCHULT

    songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

    Official Website: www.jutze.com

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

    In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

    Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

    That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009.

    Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Thursday, February 12th, 2009.

    If you want some inspiration, here’s how some other artists tackled happy songs…
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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • Masters Of Song Fu #1: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!

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    We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

    To that end, we’ve launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

    In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

    Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

    A few weeks back, we sent out the call for challengers. Hundreds of you heard the call and fought for a chance to be in the initial group. 20 were selected. Only 19 responded in time.

    Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the challengers were presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They were given one week to complete their songs – however they saw fit, within the parameters set forth below…

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    ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

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    You must do a song in the style of a classic television show. Not only that, but this song is the theme for a fictional television show about yourself (or your band). By “classic television show” theme song, we mean the type of themes found in shows from the 1960’s – 1980’s (ie Gilligan’s Island, Cheers, The Fall Guy, Diff’rent Strokes, Welcome Back Kotter, Greatest American Hero, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, The Facts Of Life, Green Acres, Gimme A Break, The Monkees, etc.). Your theme song must include both lyrics and music. It must run no shorter than 30 seconds, and no longer than one (1) minute.

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    When all was said and done, only 16 of the 19 Challengers were able to send in the songs in time. You voted HERE. The TOP 7 vote getters then moved on to Round 2. Here’s the challenge given to our 7 Semi-Finalists…

    ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

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    Here’s where we step things up a notch. Your challenge is to write a song that utilizes a repeating syllable (ex: la, na, doo, etc.). The syllable must repeat at least 5 times in a row (ex: la la la la la). The resulting “repeated syllable” phrase can appear anywhere in your song, but must be repeated in full at least 3 times within the song. Also, this challenge includes a thematic element. Your song must feature a conflict between two (2) elements, provided below. You must choose one (1) element from COLUMN A and one (1) element from COLUMN B.

    COLUMN A
    —————

    Santa Claus

    Miami Dolphins

    Stephen Hawking

    A Beach Towel

    High School Physics

    Albania

    The Color Orange

    A Toothpick Factory

    Marc Singer

    Hydroponics

    ———————————————————————–

    COLUMN B
    —————

    Dracula

    Linux

    Pudding

    Coupons

    Scabies

    Cosplayers

    Your Kindergarten Teacher (must be named)

    Albert Camus

    Non-Alcoholic Lager

    Doc Hammer

    Your song must be at least 1m45s in length. Finally, your song must be an ORIGINAL CREATION, both music and lyrics, and can not utilize or sample a preexisting work.

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    You also voted on the contributions of our three Masters, eliminating one. Two Masters remained, and they were presented a special challenge of their own. Their entries will also be voted on by you, the readers. The winner of the Masters Challenge will be the one who duels with the winning Challenger.

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    ROUND 2 MASTERS CHALLENGE

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    The following challenge applies to our Masters of Song Fu only. As Masters, it is expected that they have achieved a musical voice all their own – but does their mastery extend to assuming the voice of another artist? With that in mind, Each Master is tasked with writing a song in the style of their opponent. The Masters will be judged on how accurately they write a song in their opponent’s style without it becoming a simple parody. When listening to their entries, you must genuinely believe that they were written by the original Master. Got that? The Master’s songs must also be no shorter than 1m45s.

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    As we mentioned, the winner of the Round 2 Challenge will move on to a head-to-head battle with one of our Masters Of Song Fu, whose fate will also be determined by you.

    But right now, let’s check out the Round 2 songs from each of our Masters and the 6 challengers that made the deadline. At the bottom of the page, you’ll then be able to place your votes, and decide who brings their Fu to the head-to-head battle…

    MASTERS OF SONG FU

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    JONATHAN COULTON

    songfu-01.jpgJonathan Coulton on Jonathan Coulton: “In 2005 I left my day job writing software to pursue music full time. To keep myself busy I released a new song on this website every week for a year in a project called Thing a Week. A few of those songs became big internet hits (my folky cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, a funny video called “Flickr”, a song called “Code Monkey”), and I am now fortunate enough to make my living as a musician.

    I write about a lot of geeky stuff because I am a geek. Some of it’s funny, but a lot of it’s not so funny, and even more of it is somewhere in between. I’ve been compared to They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Loudon Wainwright III, and other musicians you REALLY LOVE.

    I give lots of music away because I believe it helps my cause, and I love it when people use my music to create other stuff – music videos, pictures, remixes, etc. At the moment I’m unsigned, and I’m proud to say I’ve created this whole thing mostly on my own (with plenty of help from an amazingly supportive bunch of fans). But it certainly is getting busy… I will probably sell out and go Hollywood any day now…”

    Official Website: www.jonathancoulton.com

    ROUND 2 SONG:Big Dick Farts A Polka (in the style of Paul & Storm)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Monkey Shines

    PAUL & STORM

    songfu-02.jpg Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

    Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com

    ROUND 2 SONG:Live (in the style of Jonathan Coulton)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Theme Song To Paul & Storm

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    THE CHALLENGERS

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    PAUL FRUMPTON EXPERIENCE FEATURING LARRY

    songfucomp-03.jpgBorn in the fall of 2006 in the center of the two-man acoustic comedy rock scene, Columbus, Ohio, the self proclaimed Turner and Hooch of Rock and Roll, The Paul Frumpton Experience Featuring Larry – known more colloquially as Jeff Stormer and Jeremy Hoover – are best described as what happens when comedy, music, caffeine, and improv collide in a chocolaty, peanut buttery explosion of good times. Stormer and Hoover met as students of Ohio State University and have been performing for scraps of food and hobo nickels ever since. Jeremy and Jeff’s major influences include Bacon, Booster Gold & Blue Beetle’s irreverent banter, David Bowie’s crotch in Labyrinth, and a deep-seated love of go karts. Finally, we feel obliged to mention all the things that are off limits to the comedy duo… This list includes NOTHING.

    Official Website: myspace.com/thepaulfrumtonexperiencefeaturinglarry

    ROUND 2 SONG:Dracula’s Beach Towel
    ROUND 1 SONG:The Paul Frumpton Experience (Feat. Larry) Comedy Hour Spectacular

    LEX FRIEDMAN

    songfucomp-04.jpgLex Friedman’s musical influences include artists like They Might Be Giants, Moxy Fruvous, “Weird Al” Yankovic, CAKE, Barenaked Ladies, Tom Lehrer, Ben Folds, and Michael Jackson. Lex has left a smattering of bizarre music videos on YouTube, which have been slowly overtaken by videos of his 18-month-old daughter Anya. He occasionally shares new songs on his blog. He currently appears both weekly and weakly as the host of the “Week in Douchebaggery” on Cracked.com. Lex, his aforementioned daughter Anya, his lovely wife Lauren, and his diabetic maltese Charlie all live together in New Jersey, and sincerely hope that you don’t hold that against them. He gives one of them two injections if insulin each day – guess which! Lex also wrote this sentence. To avoid appearing like a suck-up, Lex has neglected to mention other musical influences of his who may or may not be the Iron Chefs of this Song Fu competition. Let’s just say he happens to also love the musical stylings of a guy whose name rhymes with Shmonathan Shmoulton.

    Official Website: www.thefriedmans.net/blog

    ROUND 2 SONG:Orange vs Lager
    ROUND 1 SONG:Hey, It’s Lex Friedman!

    CLOAKIE

    songfucomp-09.jpgMy Fu is stronger than you! I am Coleman Bear Saunders, or Cloakie to most. At the age of 25 I work with music everyday at my studio that I recently built. I produce, engineer and compose various genres of music with ninja like precision. I have been picking away at the guitar since the age of 7 after watching my Dad play Johnny Cash tunes in the wrong key while singing the wrong lyrics, although I do the same thing because that’s the way I was learnt, ya hear me boy? I live in Kentucky and the music scene isn’t the greatest, so I turn to the internet to pipeline my Fu to the masses for free. I’m getting tired of music these days, I want some more songs about Dragons and fucking! Songs that take you on a journey and let you experience a different world, like movies do. My dream is to compose and score music for video games, TV, and my ultimate goal, the big screen. This is why the Song Fu competition was made for me. All the challenges that the competition presents to me will be similar to the expectations of future employers. Good luck to all, and may the best Fu win.

    Official Website: myspace.com/colemansaunders

    ROUND 2 SONG:The Tale Of Hawking vs Dracula” (EXPLICIT Lyrics)
    ROUND 1 SONG:Cloakie The Nazi Killing Zombie

    ELAINE CHAO FINNELL

    songfucomp-10.jpgElaine Chao Finnell is a singer/songwriter from the San Francisco Bay Area. In her checkered musical past, she has been a choral singer, a pit musician, an a cappella vocalist, a vocal percussionist, a hip hop beatboxer, contemporary Christian worship musician, and a musical librettist. After leaving the a cappella world in 2001, Elaine shifted into the world of hip hop theater, touring with spoken word artist Aya de León, then going solo and performing in such venues as the Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco and at the Apollo Theater in New York City. She began writing music at the tender age of 17, co-authoring her first musical with Brian Allan Hobbs. Since then, she has written two full length musicals and two plays. She currently plays regularly at her church as a lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist. While not in her musical pursuits, Elaine can be found in a cubicle at a major software company, at home with her engineer husband and their network of Macs, or studying martial arts at a local university.

    Official Website: www.gotspit.com

    ROUND 2 SONG:The Dance
    ROUND 1 SONG:Cubicle Gopher

    JEFF MacDOUGALL

    songfucomp-16.jpgThe Deal: After 20+ years making music as a hobby, I recently wrote and recorded a song for my daughter. I got a little taste of mild success (hey, my mom liked it). So now I’m taking my music out of the closet, dusting it off, and seeing how it does in the sunshine. Who knew there was so much work in just attempting to do music for a living. I feel like I am opening a Subway franchise (Only opening a Subway franchise seems more fulfilling in a creative way).

    Official Website: jeffmacdougall.com

    ROUND 2 SONG:A Brief History Of Pudding
    ROUND 1 SONG:Jeff MacDougall Dot Com

    RUN AT THE DOG

    songfucomp-19.jpgRun At The Dog are high energy, rock/pop, category-sluts with multi-gendered vocals and intricate arrangements. They are like Abba meets Faith No More meets Mos Def meets the Mormon Tabernacle Choir meets Steely Dan. The songs of this Minneapolis 5-piece are always written right away, with no respect for the calculating mind. Audience members are unsure whether to dance, laugh, or panic.

    Official Website: myspace.com/runatthedog

    ROUND 2 SONG:Pudding Came To Town
    ROUND 1 SONG:Run At The Dog TV Theme

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    ROUND 2 VOTING

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    And now, it’s time for that all important voting, where you’ll decide who the Challenger who will get to move on to The Final Round. Please remember, you can only vote FOR ONE song – so choose very carefully. Also, be sure to vote for your favorite song from our reigning Masters of Song Fu – either Jonathan Coulton or Paul & Storm. You may only vote once, so make it count. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on WEDNESDAY, JULY 9th.

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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    ROUND 2 VOTING – THE MASTERS

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    If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY, designed and handcrafted by [adult swim] superstar Dana Snyder. Yes. Dana Snyder.

    Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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  • Quick Stop Invades New York Comic-Con

    Quick Stop NY Comic-Con Header

    This weekend, the phenomenon known as New York Comic-Con is occurring. In a startling coincidence of Art Bell-worthy proportions, New York Comic-Con takes place in New York City. Even more startling is that technicians from Quick Stop Entertainment will be on hand to witness this event and take readings with small devices that go ping.

    Team Quick Stop will be at the Javits Center in Room 1E16 on Saturday, April 19th, from 5:00pm to 6:00pm.

    There will be prizes. They will not go ping.

    There will be surprises. They will make an odd clanging noise at a frequency unheard by humans.

    There will be live musical performances from Jonathan Coulton (who has been known to ping like a Mother Box) and Paul and Storm (who have been shown in laboratory tests to interfere with toasters).

    There will be reveals. I’m not at liberty to discuss them, but if Ken manages to reveal Frank Morgan behind a curtain, I will give him a dollar. Yes, Ken will be on hand. Ken makes no noises whatsoever. He merely waits. And plans.

    I, Widge, will be there as well, making sure Ken takes his meds. I also have three classic Doctor Who DVDs in my bag for the first person to find me at the Con and say the magic phrase. And that phrase is… “Evil always wants pudding.”

    You have your mission. Good luck.