FRED Entertainment

November 3, 2006

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #20: Pachinko Fever

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:53 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #20: Pachinko Fever – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with celebrations of their 20th podcast, talk of pachinko machines, and a surprise or two.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #20 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-20.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Scrubs Blog: Jeff Marx Talks Musical Scrubs

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:20 am
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VIDEO BLOG #64: “Jeff Marx Musical Interview” ““
This week, we chat with Avenue Q‘s Jeff Marx about coming in and writing the music for the musical episode…

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #64:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 53.1 MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 22.8 MB)

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Trailer Park: Vote on Tuesday, kids. It’s the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:15 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Note bene: I just wanted to start off with a bit of a tease for next week. 2 nights ago I saw THE FOUNTAIN here in Tempe, Arizona. I don’t know how or why but I was additionally allowed 10 minutes with Darren Aronofsky the next morning at his hotel for a 1:1 right before he flew away. I’ll save all my comments until then but, suffice to say, THE FOUNTAIN has the ability to define what it is to live and what it is like to lose while breaking your heart with every frame that slips and glides by your eyes.

I’m keeping things real short this week because I really indulged in some storytelling last week as I replayed the events that led up to my appearance in this month’s Moving Pictures magazine. Did you all run out to get it? It’s got a picture of Lucy Liu on the cover so you can purchase it just for her if you want a real reason to get a magazine. I know there are a lot of people who could go either way with Lucy but color me a fan of hers just for that mouse-y pose she struck in CHARLIE’S ANGELS II for Sir John Cleese. Yummy.

Also, I wanted to do two things before sending you people on your collective way this weekend:

1. Go vote this Tuesday. A lot has been made of the apathy that so plagues this generation and I can’t say I don’t agree with how far down we are as a collective voting body on the list of people who actually give a fuck what happens to us as a nation but, please, for the love of all that’s holy, take some time on the way home from work, Lord knows many of us actually have jobs to tend to, and pull that lever. Or punch some chads or, as we do here in God’s country, Arizona, we’ve got to color in arrows. Yeah, we do, I’m not kidding. Democrat or Republican, show those buttheads who think that the Internet is made of tubes, courtesy of Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), and that Internet service providers deserve to charge you more for access based on a promise that tele-co’s would upgrade slow-ass copper wire with fiber optic lines, and have now since reneged on, that you don’t appreciate the liars that are in there now; you want liars in there of your own choosing.

2. Big ups to my man Rich N. who solicited me for a donation recently. Called the St. Baldrick’s Foundation this organizaion gives money to CureSearch National Childhood Cancer Foundation and it is dedicated to raising funds for childhood cancer research. Coming from a family with a fireman I always enjoy helping other first-responders whenever possible and, being a mick myself, I have a soft spot for anything that comes close to being affiliated with St. Patrick’s Day. Rich emailed a few people looking for donations as one of the goals for this charity results in not only money going to a good cause but the person drumming up the support and dinero has to shave their head when it’s all done. So, it was with a hearty laugh that I whipped out my AmEx and tossed a few bucks his way if for the delight and amusement of getting a photo weeks later with the attachment labeled “Rich_Shaved.jpg.” I admit that attachment scared me a bit with a name like that but here Rich is, bald and lovin’ life. I don’t speak New York-ian very well but I can say that’s “week’id ha-d-core.”

…SO GOES THE NATION (2006)

Director: James D. Stern, Adam Del Deo
Cast:
Paul Begala, Mary Beth Cahill, Thomas (Tad) Devine, Terry McAuliffe, Matthew Dowd
Release: October 4, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis:
A documentary that examines America’s tumultuous electoral process through the eyes of diverse politicians, activists, and voters. The 2004 presidential election between George W. Bush and John Kerry provides the stage, showing how the voting public is manipulated by both parties’ leaders and their political marketing machines.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Just vote, you assholes. I mean, a lot of you out there don’t care you’re being cornholed by your elected officials but show a little spine, would ya please? Kinda yeah, kinda nah.

One of the most important things about having to sway people to see your movie is that when the intended audience are jamokes like me, who have zero clue about your feature, you’ve got to hook me within the first ten seconds or I start to wonder why I’m looking at boring trailers and I’m off to find free porn.

This trailer has some unique angles to work around but it’s hard to get over how exquisite the computer graphics are in the opening sequences, the Katie Couric’s voiceover letting me know that Ohio is too close to call, as does Wolf Blitzer, as the contentious topics of debate for the 2004 election scroll over the screen. That hooked me. I can get what’s going on and I feel fairly engaged as a casual onlooker.

But then I’m deflated like a hot balloon that’s been put in the freezer.

“We’ve got truth on our side.”

We get some digital video about how awesome it is that so many people came out and volunteered to come help the campaign of Kerry/Edwards. Of course, we all know how that went and I think we linger way too long on this lost cause that has been beaten like a dead whale in every sort of public forum. Yet, we’ve got the star of MY SCIENCE PROJECT, Fischer Stevens, crazy eyed Steve Buscemi, star of THE KARATE KID III, Hilary Swank, all to tell me what I already knew a couple years ago.

Yes, Michael Moore, if the majority of Americans did show up at the polls George W. Bush WOULD have been punted like a pigskin from the White House but, as you know, we didn’t do what a lot of blowhards said would happen this time.

“In the last 42 years, only two democrats have won the presidential election. Why?”

We’re halfway through this thing and NOW you want to pique my interest? You see it’s a little late to be saying the one sentence that grabs me by my eyeballs. And, worse yet, we linger far too long with getting to the point which is this: the Kerry/Edwards campaign weren’t as nearly as organized as Bush/Cheney with regard to planning and execution.

That’s it.

The campaigns of these two dudes were so diametrically opposed that it was Bush’s angle at getting people to vote for him, while Kerry tried to sway those who would be swayed instead of being methodical not emotional in their attack, that ultimately led to Kerry’s demise as a contender; and we great talking heads to tell us again and again, in this trailer, to tell us this fact.

So why do I need to see this movie in the theaters? And, to tell you the honest truth, there just isn’t one here. You’ve told me everything I need to ostensibly know about this movie and I am just as well to just wait until video in order for this flick to tell me why democrats lost an election to the republicans.

SURF’S UP (2007)


Director: Lisa Addario, Joe Syracuse
Cast: CJeff Bridges, Shia LaBeouf, Zooey Deschanel, James Woods, Jane Krakowski, Jon Heder, Mario Cantone, Brian Benben, Michael McKeana
Release: June 8, 2007
Synopsis: This animated mockumentary, based on the revelation that surfing was actually invented by penguins, will take audiences behind the scenes of the exciting Penguin World Surfing Championship.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I don’t care if this movie turns out to be a piece of SHARK TALE crap this is a solid trailer for a kids movie that I would want to see on my own.

It’s hard to deny the fact, the pure essential truth, that when you pitch a kids movie studio opens its wallet to a point because they know they can nearly be guaranteed of a certain amount because of the dearth of flicks in the marketplace. This explains a lot of scum in the marketplace and why straight-to-DVD “sequel” Disney flicks like BAMBI and LION KING do so damn well. This would even explain why a TOY STORY 3, no matter how shitty if Disney made it without Pixar, would’ve yielded a certain percentage just because of its cache with its youthful fan base. This movie, though, gets kudos from me because the makers could’ve slapped a milquetoast trailer on this thing and released it unto the world.

Instead, we get a thoughtful, creative trailer that some people put effort into with an eye towards really creating a voice. You can he-haw all you like but I appreciate having to stop for a moment and figure out what’s happening; this kind of risk is lost on a lot of people but penguins and surfing? What the fuck? Exactly.

“As soon as there was the first wave”¦there was the first surfer.”

The image of a penguin on a surfboard, etched like glyphs on a long deserted cave wall, papyrus and even a Japanese block print, first caught my cynical nature and I nearly dismissed what was happening. The voiceover is not ironic when it takes the lore of surfing and applies it to the animal kingdom, penguins, and if this wasn’t so absurd I would’ve dismissed that too.

The voiceovers feel so genuine as “old footage” of penguin pioneers in surfing, the piano suite twinkling in the background doing a superb job of keeping the conceit perfectly believable, and I actually had a great laugh as one enterprising penguin in archival black and white crashes his hybrid surfboard into a reef, the pieces scattering everywhere with the penguin’s fate in serious question.

“He lived so hard because he wasn’t afraid to live”¦he wasn’t afraid to die”

Big Z, the ostensible focus of this voiceover’s, this particular penguin’s, life seems to be the alpha surfer who we follow for a bit in this pseudo-docu trailer and I dare you to scoff at the clip where Z takes on a few story tall wave; it’s hard to tell where the animation starts and where photo-realism ends. It’s a wonderful blend to behold. We see how the young penguin who we’re going to be following was influenced and it’s as good of a backstory that most movies ever give us.

And then, blickety-bam, rock n’ roll is infused to this trailer, Red Hot Chili Peppers-like, and we see this little penguin just riding a wave in the same kind of cinematic blend that just shows how you don’t need to splash freakish amounts of color, a la SHARK TALE, MADAGASCAR, etc., to catch the attention of people who would otherwise pay to see your movie.

Finally, a reason to look forward to seeing a movie with the kids.

HOME OF THE BRAVE (2006)

Director: Irwin Winkler
Cast:
Samuel Jackson, Jessica Biel, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Brian Presleyr
Release: December 15, 2006
Synopsis: The story of four American soldiers nearing the end of their tours of duty in Iraq. Shortly after learning their unit will soon return home, they are sent on one final humanitarian mission to bring medical supplies to a remote Iraqi village. The unit is ambushed and takes heavy losses. The surviving troops suffer both physical and psychological injuries.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: You had me at hello and then you cheated on me. For those who may or may not know, I am a fan of Frontline on PBS.

I am not one to dwell, like some, on The History Channel where I can see Allied forces tear apart Nazis or pick apart issues that drove us as a nation into the Vietnam War. Just doesn’t hold my interest. Now, put these issues into a context that informs the here and now, something that I can get a handle on, and you’ve got my undivided attention. That said, I am innately interested, by default, for movies that want to render fictional moments against the backdrop of recent history. WORLD TRADE CENTER? Maudlin. UNITED 93? Moving. The key here is being unique with everything that goes into a production. The former wanted to Ron Howard things and the latter wanted to be honest. This movie, though, seems like it wants to be a little BLACK HAWK DOWN with a dash of COURAGE UNDER FIRE. Not a bad combo but the trailer is really solid.

I like, I really like, that we open with the establishment of location “70 miles south of Baghdad” and a haunting score that succinctly sets the tone for the kind of ominous portent of what’s to come. I enjoy the moment so much that I damn well ignore Fiddy Cenn’s presence. True, we might as well be hit with an obvious brick in the nuts when Jessica Biel and Co. start talking about going home, everyone else making plans about what they’re going to do when they get there but that’s forgivable when the second obvious brick finishes off my testes when a dude riding in a convoy essentially says he’s got a bad feeling about this; I’m just hopeful there is going to be a wicked firefight and that Fiddley Sent catches an RPG to the chest.

And just like that we get a bottleneck that is reminiscent of CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER, although, to be fair, CLEAR was a little more dramatic than what seems to happen here. I mean, really, one rocket and it’s over? One? And to top it, Fliddy makes it through.

We don’t dwell, thankfully, on the fight, it’s not extended, and I’m impressed because this movie could have easily been sold on the conflict but we really get right into the thrust of the film’s center: the aftermath of war and what it does to people on the inside. And then, I’m dropped emotionally like a $2 hooker when we get Dave Matthews’ “The Space Between.”

Huh?

The music doesn’t really jive with the posttraumatic stress disorder angle that could’ve easily been more crafted rather than the pop effluence that is the undeniable stylings of Mr. Matthews being pumped like a spewing artery through my speakers. I can see where there is some promise of how these people all react to being in the line of fire and having to live with the things they went through in Iraq, violent behavior and despondency being great examples, but I feel that a lot of slo-mo hugging and disingenuous smiling that ends this trailer just smacks of Ron Howard-ness that doomed WORLD TRADE CENTER to mediocrity.

If Flippy Cien-t commits suicide, a very real product of this war that Frontline explored in honest detail, I might be inclined to actually pay to see this.

300 (2007)

Director: Zack Snyder
Cast:
Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, Vincent Regan, Rodrigo Santoro
Release: March 9, 2007
Synopsis: Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: This’ll put hair on your chest…And balls. What an absolute coup.

You think to yourself that while you rocked the party hard with your re-imagining of DAWN OF THE DEAD you need to curry even more favor with the hopelessly virginal dweebs who don’t really know what to make of a work that, while sharply written, needs to attract a big chunk of audience and create a big buzz. Solution?

You bring a teaser trailer to Comic-Con that absolutely explodes with bombastic noise and testosterone, death, war, screaming, yelling and bare boobs that swish and sway in slow-motion. And then proceed to show it a few times within the time allotted to you.

Score.

Now, while the hooters are gone, did you really think they’d let them be unfurled unto the world in all their womanly glory, this trailer gnashes on silt and dirt while calling it sustenance; and, while it’s at it, it would like to start a fight with your mom.

There isn’t much in the way of a voiceover to couch what you’re seeing in the opening images, soldiers slowly falling off a sharp precipice, a kid squaring off a wolf that looks like it could be a hellspawn demon dog of Gozer from GHOSTBUSTERS and a randy looking monarch of some kind on his stately throne, but that’s alright. I’m being roped in and this is the way to do it.

“This”¦is”¦Sparta!”

I’m a Gerard Butler fan. Eff his work on DRACULA 2000, that wretched junk heap of a film, his talent really bled through the screen in DEAR FRANKIE. Here, as well, his charisma as a leading man demands your respect with the stoic bravado that mires so many other movies that have dudes reciting monologues that seem spoken just for the sake of speaking them in that manly intonation, your eyes rolling backward in its disingenuousness. No, here, his threats, his weapon at the ready, and that kick which just knocks down that fool in a well that Borat would well reserve for some Jews just lights a fire in me. It’s effective.

“Then we will fight in the shade.”

What’s more is the Nine Inch Nails suite that accompanies the other unrelated sequences here; it really captures the spirit of the movie in a way, I would posit, that trumps a lot of other “cast of thousands” productions. Things feel dirty, messy. The way they should be.

You can’t expect to try and wrangle the ladies in with this trailer and it’s really bold, and refreshing, to see a campaign just slice out that 50% of the potential audience and just represent the movie’s hard edge without regard to any superfluous romance or foo-foo hook to be everything to everyone.

Splendid.

Weekend Shopping Guide 11/3/06: Rock The Vote

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

After Shout! Factory’s wonderful treatment of the complete NBC Network 90 run of SCTV, I was disappointed to learn that what was originally intended as a complete release of the first season of the original syndicated run had instead morphed into a Best of the Early Years (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) set featuring 15 episodes from the second and third seasons. I hope that whatever issues prevented complete season releases eventually gets worked out, but until then, it’s nice to have anything from these seasons. The 3-disc set features 4 audio commentaries, a brand new interview with Andrea Martin, a featurette spotlighting the Old Firehall home of Toronto’s Second City, and a vintage news report on the explosive popularity of Bob & Doug McKenzie.

As with any outsize personality whose very name has become a corporate identity, Walt Disney has become more myth than man. Lionized on one hand and demonized on the other, Neal Gabler’s massive Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination (Knopf, $35.00 SRP) is the even-handed, heavily researched biography that’s sorely been needed. If you want to know about the man and where the myth originated – plus get some long-standing myths refuted – this is the definitive story of the man behind the mouse.

In the lead up to the 2000 election, South Park maestros Trey Parker & Matt Stone announced that they would be doing a Comedy Central sitcom based on whoever wound up winning in November. They developed shows based on both a Gore and a Bush outcome, but when the dust settled, the show we got was That’s My Bush (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$26.99 SRP). It’s depiction of a bumbling rube at the mercy of his advisors would eventually prove to be completely accurate, but the show itself – despite being a hilarious satire of both the administration and old school sitcoms – lasted just 8 episodes. The 2-disc set features the entire run, plus audio commentaries with the cast, Parker, and Stone.

While the magician out front may be performing the tricks, it’s Jonathan Creek (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) who actually designs the tricks. As portrayed by comedian Alan Davies, he’s a shaggy, unassuming guy who toils in the background, a genius unknown by the public… At least until his identity is uncovered by a nosy investigative journalist (Caroline Quentin) who needs his help in solving a murder… And once you have one sleuthing adventure under your belt, why stop there? What follows is one of Britain’s most enjoyable mystery series, with equal parts drama and humor. The complete first series of Jonathan Creek features all 5 adventures, plus exclusive interviews, screen tests, and an audio commentary.

Always on the lookout for a genuinely funny sitcom (which has increasingly become a rarity), I’m understandably a bit wary of any new show that comes down the pike – I’ve been burned far too many times. Everybody Loves Chris (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$50.99 SRP), though, was a pleasant surprise – well-written and an amazing cast, led by young Tyler James Williams as Chris. The series is loosely based on the Bed-Stuy childhood of Chris Rock, when his parents sent him to a largely white school outside of his neighborhood. What sets the series apart from most sitcoms – and in the same class as shows that have come to be called classics – is that its comedy is rooted in reality, and completely identifiable. I just hope it doesn’t rapidly deteriorate into the cartoonish buffoonery that scuttled the once-promising Malcolm in the Middle. For now, the first season of Chris is a gem, and a set well worth checking out. The 4-disc set features all 22 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, audition tapes, bloopers, and more.

Like the titular flying mammal, Meat Loaf has returned to the depths to set the monster loose in the third Bat Out Of Hell (Virgin, $18.98 SRP), which features a clutch of new Jim Steinman tunes, along with tracks from Diane Warren, Nikki Six, James Michael, Marti Frederiksen, and Desmond Child. While the tracks are full of the operatic bombast we’ve come to expect from Meat, the songs themselves don’t approach the modern classics found on the original Bat – which is not to denigrate what’s to be found here, but they certainly have quite a legacy to live up to. What is a revelation, though, is Meat’s vocals – in recent years, he’s allowed the theatrics of his singing to get too out of hand, to the point where he’d often sound like a parody of himself. In the new album, however, he’s pulled it back and is singing better than ever. Though he claims he’ll never do another album, I hope this reinvigorated Loaf will reconsider heading back into hell in the near future.

The 6-disc BBC Atlas of the Natural World (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) is an amazing collection of nature documentaries exploring habitats from North America to the Antarctic. The documentaries featured include Land of the Eagle, Spirits of the Jaguar, Wild South America, and Life in the Freezer. All in all, it’s a spectacular journey around the globe – and it’s got plenty of penguins. Penguins rock.

How do you possibly tackle a documentary about the legendary car customizer and 60’s icon Ed “Big Daddy” Roth? Well, you probably do it as a series of animated tales featuring the voices of people like John Goodman, Brain Wilson, The Smothers Brothers, Matt Groening, Tom Wolfe, and many more. That’s how. Tales of the Rat Fink (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is that film, and it’s packed with bonus features, including a rare interview with Roth, interviews, a deleted scene, and more.

There’s nothing particularly artistic about the episodes featured in the second volume of the late 80’s Super Mario Bros. Super Show (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), but so help me, I can’t help but like the animated Koopa-bashing adventures of those daring plumber-brothers Mario and Luigi (or their live action equivalents, particularly Captain Lou Albano as Mario). This 4-disc set features an additional 24 episodes, plus a fan featurette, a costume gallery, concept art galleries, and four bonus episodes.

While it never achieved the critical acclaim of its siblings Cheers or Frasier, there’s a reason why Wings (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) ran as long as it did – it was a solid, enjoyable sitcom with a wonderful cast of characters and great actors to realize them. The 4-disc complete third season features all 22 episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Whither Tim Daly?

It has been a long, slow slog to get the complete run released, but the fifth and final volume of Speed Racer (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is finally available, featuring the last 8 episodes of the show. Who wants to bet the complete series set we should have gotten in the first place is just around the corner?

It becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate the various seasons of the various incarnations of procedurals like CSI, but suffice it to say that the fourth season of CSI: Miami (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$64.99 SRP) features the continuing crime-solving adventures of David Caruso’s Horatio Caine and his crackerjack forensics team. The 7-disc set features all 25 episodes, plus audio commentaries on 6 episodes (“From the Grave,” “Prey,” “Felony Flight,” “Urban Hellraisers,” “Shattered,” and “Payback”) and a quartet of behind-the-scenes featurettes.

Although he arguably made funnier films as a solo artist, the films that Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin made together during their white hot rise to superstardom are pleasant enough, as you’ll find if you partake of the 8 flicks collected in the Martin & Lewis Collection: Volume One (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). Those films include My Friend Irma, My Friend Irma Goes West, That’s My Boy, Sailor Beware, Jumping Jacks, The Stooge, Scared Stiff, and The Caddy. They’re largely excuses for Jerry to pratfall around and Dean to launch into song, but what more did you expect?

The fromage runs as deep as the offshore death trap protected by the lifeguards under the aegis of Lt. Mitch Buchannon (David Hasslehoff), but there’s no doubt that there’s much to guiltily love about the loathsome stories abounding in the first two seasons of Baywatch (First Look, Not Rated, DVD-$34.99 SRP each). These are strictly bare-bones releases – with poor music clearances (not even the theme song!) and some missing episodes due to rights issues – but for so cheap a price, I’m sure many of the show’s fans will still snap them up.

It certainly wasn’t highbrow theological fare, but compared to the new version, the original Omen was a classic. Maybe it’s because this slightly rejiggered Omen (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) feels far too slick when compared to the atmospheric 70’s take on the little boy antichrist. And I don’t buy Julia Stiles as a mother, either – even if it is the mother of evil incarnate. Bonus features include an audio commentary, extended scenes, and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

If you need a Spongebob fix until the next season set comes out (and you can’t get “Best Day Ever” out of your head), pick up the latest 7-episode collection – Spongebob Squarepants: Whale of a Birthday (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP). There. Now stop jonesin’ already.

It’s not until you see a documentary like The Making Of Miss Saigon (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) that you realize just how delicate – and fragile – putting together a successful Broadway show can be. Is the book good? How about the songs? And can you find a lead actress able to pull them off? That was the challenge faced by producer Cameron Mackintosh here, and it took auditions around the world before they finally found star Lea Salonga.

It’s been unavailable for a few years, but the 2-disc special edition of Die Hard (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$26.98 SRP) is back on shelves and a must-have presentation of a great action flick. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted & extended scenes, newscasts, and more.

If it weren’t for the presence of Jennifer Love Hewitt, I probably wouldn’t have given Ghost Whisperer (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$72.99 SRP) another glance, seeing as how bored I am with the entire touchy feely “touched by the paranormal” genre that seems so prevalent these days. But then there’s Love Hewitt, whose enthusiasm for even the thinnest of concepts tends to be infectious, so you could care less about how fuzzy-feeling her whole “I communicate with dead people and convey their messages to the living” schtick is. The 6-disc complete first season features all 22 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, and a blooper reel.

The Hitchhiker: Volume 3 (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) features another 10 dark, terror-filled tales of the decidedly unhappy wanderer whose path you most certainly do not want to cross. Guest stars include Bill Paxton, Kelly Lynch, Michael Madsen, and Lauren Hutton.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 11/3/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • The second episode of Sucks Less, with Kevin Smith. (Thingamabob)
  • It was only a matter of time before someone put 50 marbles in a blender… (Thingamabob)
  • More Sesame Street goodness. One! One more clip! Ah ah ah ah… (Thingamabob)
  • Nathan Lane is Nathan Detroit… Keep an eye out for J. Jonah Jameson. (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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November 2, 2006

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 79 – Wild Thing

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am

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Anybody out there remember when Senator Bobby had a hit record?

It was back in the earliest months of 1967 when the Senator’s version of the Troggs immortal “Wild Thing” inched its way up the charts. True, the quirky cover version peaked at the number twenty position and only spent four weeks in the Billboard Top Forty, but even with the limited exposure such middling sales insured, the combination of a faux Bobby Kennedy very awkwardly “singing” the lasciviously primitive rock anthem was more than enough to guarantee at least one sale – to ME!

You’re all familiar with the now-famous Kennedy Boston accent, right? And you probably know most of the overly simplistic lyrics to “Wild Thing” too, I’m betting. Okay, then – take a moment and try combining the two in your head!

Plain out and out hilarious, huh?

Well, it is – ESPECIALLY if you’re a fourteen year old boy at the time!

Man, I played that 45 over and over, and then over again, so much so that I knew every single vocal nuance and aside by heart!

I just discovered that there’s a very short article posted over at the Time website, extracted from the magazine’s January 13, 1967 issue, one that deals with the record (here’s the link). To give you a slightly better idea of what I’m babbling about, allow me to quote them quoting some of the record’s lyrics:

“Stand by,” the control room orders. “This is ‘Wild Thing,’ Take 72, Senator.” The music begins. “Bobby” comes on in the heavy-breathing opening stanzas with all the lustiness of a dried cod:

Wild thing, you make my heart sing. You make everything groovy. Wild thing.

“That’s perfect, Senator,” says the producer. “Lay it on them.” “All right,” the Senator tells his sidemen, “Teddy, on the ocarina, let’s go . . . Eunice, a little more tempo there.” Then Bobby is cued for the big sock finish. “Come on and hold me tight,” he begins laconically, but from the control room a voice interrupts: “A little more Boston soul, Senator.” Later, when he waxes too hot (“O come on, wild thing”), the producer cautions: “Not so ruthless, Senator.”

Yeah, that used to break me up every time!

And as a bonus – a big, BIG bonus – the flip side of this single featured the very same musical track, only “sung” by a Senator McKinley. This. y’see, was a parody of the long-time Illinois Senator (1950-1969), Everett McKinley Dirksen, an elderly, gravel-voiced politico whose flag-waving, spoken-word ditty. “Gallant Men”, was topping out at number 29 on the charts that very same month of January.

(Need I mention that THAT was one slab of round vinyl I took a pass on? I thought not…)

While not nearly as well known as the dulcet tones of a Kennedy, the growling impersonation effected by Senator McKinley – think a slightly less intelligible version of Soupy Sales pet canine, White Fang – was nearly as laugh-inducing as the record’s A side. At the time, I had no idea who was responsible for this two-sided gem, but thanks to the miracle of the Internet, I’ve since learned it was an actor named Bill Minkin (who later also apparently appeared in the film Taxi Driver, among a whole slew of other credits), working in conjunction with a comedy troupe called Hardly Worthit. The group released an entire LP of political yuks as well, and I imagine things were going along just swimmingly…

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Then Bobby Kennedy was assassinated.

That put the kibosh on any Senator Bobby follow-ups (I would’ve liked to have heard him take a go at “Light My Fire”…), but – in a strange and extremely weird twist – nonetheless helped lay the foundation for the oddest Top Ten record of all time…

But first, a digression of sorts.

Back in August, my long-time pal, Roger Green – along with his lovely wife and daughter – stopped by for their annual visit. Inasmuch as Rog and I are the same age, and knowing him to be a repository of pop music info, I eventually got around to asking him if he was at all familiar with Senator Bobby’s version of “Wild Thing”. Most people, I’ve found, aren’t. Sadly, Roger was no exception to this anecdotal rule. Even more sadly, there was no possible way I could share the inspired wackiness of this fabled recording with him, as, to the best of my knowledge, not only isn’t there a CD reissue floating around anywhere out there, but I myself no longer even own my copy of that precious little 45rpm disc! (I have NO idea what became of it – I’ve generally been pretty good about carting along everything I ever bought previous to turning legal age my entire adult life, but this unique memento mysteriously escaped my clutches long, long ago. Damn…)

Anyhow, failing to land on the same page during our “Wild Thing” discussion (though I did drop in the provocative fact that the song was written by Chip Taylor, Jon Voight’s brother – and thus, uncle to the prototypical Wild Thing herself, Ms. Angelina Jolie!…), the conversation soon turned to ANOTHER politically connected cover version. But here’s the odd thing: Roger began talking about a post-Dion take on “Abraham, Martin, and John”, which, while it didn’t ring a bell with me, prompted me in turn to counter with memories of a post-Jackie DeShannon version of “What The World Needs Now Is Love” – and it STILL took us a few minutes to realize we were both talking about the very SAME recording!! Because, while I had completely forgotten the “AM&J” portion of the recording, there’s NO way I could’ve EVER forgotten the rest of the most peculiar number to ever crack the Top Ten – even though I hadn’t heard it since it reached the number eight position on the Billboard charts back during the summer of 1971 – Tom Clay’s astounding “What The World Needs Now Is Love/Abraham, Martin, and John”! !

Understand please that, even though I’ve frequently listened to Oldies radio stations in the three and a half subsequent decades, this was one disc that absolutely NEVER was exhumed for a revival spin after its initial burst of popularity! Sure, you might well hear oddities like “The Ballad of the Green Berets” and “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Ha!” on rare occasions, but trust me, the aforementioned (you should pardon the initials) “WTHWNNIL/AM&J” never, ever left the vault.

Imagine then my twisted sense of delight when Roger confessed to actually OWNING a copy of this elusive track!

The Mowest single release (Mowest being a subsidiary of Motown – and more on THAT later) appeared on Mr. G’s copy of “20 Hard-To-Find Motown Classics, Volume Two” (as well as the somewhat easier to obtain “Motown Sings Bacharach”), and recently Roger – who maintains his own illuminating webpage, Ramblin’ With Roger, don’tcha know – created a theme CD of his own entitled “John, Bobby, and John”, a compilation on songs dealing with John Lennon, RFK, and JFK. Appropriately, Roger chose to end the proceedings with the number currently under discussion – and you can read all about Roger’s disc (which, yes, he ever so kindly sent me a copy of) by going here. (Nice job overall, Rog, though excuse me if I pick a few nits – where was Elton John’s Lennon tribute “Empty Garden”, or the Byrds JFK salute “He Was A Friend Of Mine”? Sorry, but I felt compelled to ask…)

Credited to a long-time Detroit DJ, Tom Clay, the recording commences with a man – presumably Clay – asking a young girl (who couldn’t have been very much older than three, if that) a series of questions, as the tinkling piano strains of Bacharach’s popular melody plays quietly in the background…

Man: What is segregation?
Girl: I don’t know what seggeration is.
Man: What is bigotry?
Girl: I don’t know what biggery is.
Man: What does… hatred mean?
Girl: I don’t know what that is..
Man: What is prejudice?
Girl: Hmm.. I think its when someone’s sick.

The toddler’s innocent mispronunciations add an extra layer of pathos, but before things get too cute, we segue sharply into the sound of marching troops and then gunfire. Good morning Viet Nam!

After that startling interlude, the Blackberries – the female trio providing vocals for the recording – offer up a brief snippet of “Abraham, Martin, and John”, after which, things get REALLY weird…

We’re suddenly transported back in Dallas on that dark, dark day of November 22nd, 1963. Apparently we’re listening to an on scene reporter’s broadcast as he witnesses first hand that infamous moment in history, all the while the girls croon “What The World Need Now Is Love” mournfully in the background. Here’s just a short portion of his report:

Somethings happened here, we understand there has been a shooting. The presidential car coming up now, we know its the presidential car. We can see Mrs. Kennedy’s pink suit, there’s a Secret Service man spread eagle over the top of the car. We understand Governor and Mrs. Connolly are in the car, with President and Mrs. Kennedy. We can’t see who has been hit if anybody’s been hit, but apparently something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong…

Yeah, don’t we know it.

Then we soon shift to another voice..

We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin: Dallas Texas, the flash, apparently official: President John F. Kennedy died, at 1 p.m., central standard time.

Another quick stanza of “AM&J”, and it’s time for some stirring excerpts of Martin Luther Kings’ famous “Mountaintop” speech, all the while – yes – the ladies continue to croon Hal David’s well-intentioned lyrical plea for peace over Burt B.s warm melody.

Back again to “AM&J” (which, compared to the other tune, makes but a cameo appearance on this audio melange, readily explaining why I so easily managed to forget its inclusion, pivotal though the usage of its transitional nature may be…), and now it’s Bobby’s turn. He triumphantly tells his campaign workers that it’s on to Chicago in his bid for the Presidential nomination, but then – uh oh – shots ring out!

Again we get to listen to the words of an on the spot reporter, and these are even more chilling than those of the fellow who watched as JFK’s motorcade sped away. Clearly shocked, the reporter implores the crowd surrounding the fallen Robert F. Kennedy to quickly subdue the assassin, and to track star Rafer Johnson, “Get the gun Rafer! Break his thumb if you have to!”, concluding with “We don’t want another Oswald”, which is used as a cue for our final “AM&J” segue, morphing into Teddy Kennedy’s eulogy for his slain brother, his voice quivering, near to breaking at several junctures. As the heartfelt tribute to JFK by his younger sibling RFK concludes (you all KNOW what the gals are singing in the background by now, right?…), the dialogue between Clay and the little girl that kicked things off is replayed once again in its entirety, giving the nearly six and a half minute recording a cold – and stark – ending when she innocently utters her line about prejudice being when somebody is sick.

Whew!

It’s an… interesting piece of work to be sure, something you might want to hear once, maybe twice, but certainly not something that stood up well to the scrutiny afforded the heavy airtime a top ten hit of the day generally received. And yet, there it was, played nearly as often as the then latest Three Dog Night smash (and I think everyone of a certain age can testify just how annoying the phrase “Jeremiah was a bullfrog, he was a good friend of mine” all too soon became…).

My most vivid memory of “WWTNNIL/AM&J” came while sitting on a warm, sunny Long Island beach with some friends one late summer day in 1971, the transistor radio tuned to 77 WABC-AM, the mood peaceful and mellow, when suddenly THIS thing comes piping out of the tiny speakers! No, it wasn’t the first time we’d heard it – not by a long shot. Fact is, me and my buddies had long since been inured to its poignant message, as the incessant repetition eventually spawned instead some mindless teen-age mockery (I was 18 by this time – but not particularly mature for my age. Some say that still…). The well-intentioned – if somewhat morbid – purpose behind this aural montage soon gave way from a thoughtful consideration on the nature of violence in our society to a bounty of inappropriate jokey catch phrases. Each one of my buddies – fine, decent fellows, every last one, I assure you – all took a turn at imitating that poor, clueless little girl! And who could even count the number of times the command, “Get the gun, Rafer! Break his thumb if you have to!” was used as a giggle inducing non sequiter in my little circle of goofball associates? Sitting on a blanket that day, expecting to hear a Beach Boy surfin’ classic, or maybe something by Tommy James and the Shondells, this instead came over the airwaves like a bucket of cold water thrown right in the face! WHAT were they thinking?

I never found out. Tom Clay never had another hit, and back then, if you had a question about some obscure topic or another, well, good luck, brother.

But that was then and this is now, and now we have Google! So, thanks to my buddy Roger giving me the opportunity to hear this curious cut again for the first time in (ulp) 35 years, I thought it was high time to investigate matters a mite bit further. Here’s what I found..,

Clay was indeed a popular Detroit DJ back in the fifties and sixties, but by the early seventies, he had no steady gig. Eventually, he landed a three week fill-in job on KGBS, and, overwhelmed by the spirit of the times, put together his little medley, apparently with no plans whatsoever to release it on vinyl. However, one night, Berry Gordy – head honcho of Motown Records – heard the piece, and was impressed enough to offer Clay a contract to release it for real on the aforementioned Mowest label. Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that, years earlier, Clay had been instrumental in propelling Marv Johnson’s “Come To Me” – the very first Motown hit – onto the local charts while working at another Detroit station, helping to launch an empire in the process. So obviously, Gordy owed the man a favor, and if he could accomplish same while concurrently extolling a message of peace and tolerance to the masses, well, all the better.

Of course, once Clay’s follow-up number, “Whatever Happened To” stiffed big time, that was the end of his association with Motown. Whatever happened to, indeed…

But that’s not quite the end of our story. In his blog, Roger wondered if this was the same Tom Clay also responsible for a 1964 Beatles novelty recording (take a look here). Yup Rog, same guy – even though, as noted next to the photos of said memorabilia, Clay never actually got to accompany the winners of the contest sponsored in his name to the Beatles’ Detroit show, as he’d already left the station by that time. Why? Well, perhaps this excerpt from the Tom Clay entry over at Answers.com will shed a little light…

He left CKLW in 1965 on the heels of a questionable promotional scheme, one of many Clay masterminded over the years. Over CKLW’s airwaves, Clay offered a membership card to what he called the Beatles Booster Club for one dollar and an SASE. What donators were supposed to receive was a card or a decal. The responses were overwhelming, lining Clay’s pockets with more than 86,000 dollars, as there were more than 86,000 letters in Clay’s recently rented P.O. box. With cash in hand, Clay resigned from CKLW and lived lavishly for awhile.

Yessirree folks, that’s right – according to Internet sources (which are rarely, if ever, wrong), the man who appealed so creatively to the social conscience of a generation of AM radio listeners in 1971 had, only a short half decade earlier, lined his pockets with their mailed-in dollar bills with a scam that puts Soupy Sales jokey attempt at same completely to shame!

“What the world needs now is love?” Perhaps, but it would seem that for Clay, “All You Need Is Cash”!

Sigh. We sure could’ve used Senator Bobby at a time like that.

What the world truly needs now is Hembeck.com! Get the link, Rafer! But try not to break your thumb…

-Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 11/2/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Go check out what the boss has been up to. (Thingamabob)
  • Brer Rabbit sure knows how to pick a car… (Thingamabob)
  • More Sesame Street goodness, in the form of “Near & Far.” (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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November 1, 2006

Brat-halla #152: Norse Force – Wrath of Hod

Filed under: Brat-Halla,Comic Strips — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

NEWS: Well, all good things come to an end”¦ but not this comic. Seth and I (after a lot of thought and debating) have decided to move Brat-halla over to a new website. We’ll keep posting here for the next week or so to let the casual readers get the news, but we’ll now be a part of Graphic Smash. We’ve enjoyed our time here, but we really wanted to make the comic (and its archives) easier to read for new readers and our long-time readers. Spook’d will keep chugging along here at Quick Stop.

Larger Comic Version | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Brat-halla #152: Norse Force - Wrath of Hod

For extras, visit the Brat-halla Web site!

Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | BRAT-HALLA BLOG | BRAT-HALLA FORUM | ARCHIVES

Take Me Home Blog #14: Why It’s Hard To Reach When Patting Yourself On The Back

Filed under: Production Blogs,Take Me Home Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am
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Author’s note: The author would like to apologize for his romantic musings below, and especially for the seemingly deliberate unfunny nature of the following blog. He attests that he tried to “bring the funny”, but was dismayed to find that “the funny was not to be brought’n”. He appreciates his readers’ understanding on this matter. “His readers” being his father and possibly someone looking for the Scrubs blog.

UNTOLD: DAY ONE

Day one should have been two. Possibly three. Alas, in an effort to consolidate our shooting schedule, and also because of the horrendous weather Ohio’s having, our first day of shooting Untold was a mild disappointment. And I must admit, the blame should fall on my shoulders. Why? Quite possibly because that’s how I wanted it.

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH OF A BAD THING

I’m drawn to failure. Hooked, actually. Most people that know me would assume that I must be content with where I am in my life; I’ve got a wonderful fiance, a steady acting career, and a one-eyed cat that adores me. Not exactly “failure” by its definition. But, just maybe, that’s why I’m drawn to it.

I made several major errors when conceiving our film shoot. We didn’t get our first shot off until 2 1/2 hours after call time. On any film shoot, that’s bad news. In my effort to keep my film crew sparse, I neglected to hire an experienced assistant director. While the person I hired was incredibly supportive, she’d never AD’d before. Without a solid AD, a film set gets bogged down. Quickly. The director wants a better frame, the actor needs another take, the cinematographer needs more time to light; it’s a mess. And though the footage we did get looks remarkable, it’s the footage we didn’t get that I’m stuck on.

On the drive home from shooting yesterday, I looked back on all of this. All of my successes, all of my failures. My urge to contribute something as a filmmaker. And I asked myself, possibly aloud, “Is this what you wanted? All this work, wearing eight different hats, loading all these responsibilities onto my back only to carry out half of them? Does this make you happy?” And on a day like monday, when we only got through half of our shot list, what’s the answer to that? How can we celebrate our acheivements when our failings follow so close behind?

I have the rest of the week to get this film in the can. I went to bed at 9:30 last night, something I don’t think I’ve done since elementary school. And as I lay there, the different versions of the film washed over me; the one I had dreamed, and the one I had tried to make to serve that dream. It seems I’m still holding onto the belief that eventually the two will merge. But what causes us to believe in that way? What compels us to hope, however irrational it may be? Whatever it is, I am filled of it. Right now, it is just enough to keep me going. Just enough to keep me ahead of this failure I seem to crave. Just barely.

-Sam Jaeger

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 11/1/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • The holiday may be officially over, but it’s still the great pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Thingamabob)
  • Opus encounters the bitter, bitter kiwi… (Thingamabob)
  • I can’t help myself – here’s another Sesame Street classic. “Would ya like to buy an ‘O’?” (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 31, 2006

Toy Box: Nightmare Before Christmas Jack/Snowmobile Deluxe Set

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 12:10 am
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Classics are rare. And holiday classics are even rarer, largely because so much of what is put out for the holidays – Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter – blows chunks like Nicole Ritchie after a five course meal. But occasionally there’s a gem, and occasionally that gem stands the test of time to become a classic.

Such is the fate of A Nightmare Before Christmas. When it was first released in 1993, it was not a huge hit at the box office. Part of this was due to marketing, because they weren’t quite sure how to sell it – was it a kid’s movie? An adult movie? Or something in between? And how do you sell something in between? Remember, this was before Toy Story and Pixar proved that a film could entertain both adults and kids at the same time.

Toys were made, and they went on clearance almost universally. But then the DVD hit the shelves, and kids were enthralled. Their parents were paying attention too, and those old toys suddenly dried up. The film is now a regular for the Halloween and Christmas season, which makes it fairly unique.

NECA picked up the toy license a few years ago, and began what will turn out to be the definitive line for the movie. They’ve produced 5 series of figures, several boxed sets, and a wide variety of other goodies as well. Tonight I’m covering the very latest in their releases, the Jack Skellington/Snowmobile deluxe set.

If you have any questions, drop me an email at mwc@mwctoys.com or visit my other site at Michael’s Review of the Week.

“Nightmare Before Christmas Jack/Snowmobile deluxe set”

Jack uses a couple different means of delivering ‘toys’. There’s the sleigh and reindeer created by Finklestein, but there’s also the small sleigh piled high with goodies that is pulled by his trusty snowmobile. That’s the set we get here, done up right with even an action feature.

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Packaging – ***
Look, it’s a box! The graphics are somewhat dull on this one, but it has the usual box advantages – easy to store for the MIBBers, very sturdy on the shelf, and a nice big window to see the figure and vehicle. On the downside, it is not collector friendly, and you’ll have to tear things up to get all the goodies out of the box.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
Both the vehicle and figure are really the focus of this set, so I’ll be discussing both in the main categories.

This is the same Jack we saw in series 1. He was a terrific figure then, so it’s no surprise that he’s still a terrific figure, even with the overall improvements in the industry over the last two years. The sculpt matches up with the source material extremely well, and they even managed to get plenty of articulation into a rather tough design.

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Now, there have been other statues and collectibles based on this particular scene, and in them Jack fits better into the snowmobile. But while he doesn’t look perfectly comfortable in there, I’m much happier that they went with an actual figure, in the proper scale, instead of creating some sort of hybrid designed to only work with the vehicle. And of course, there’s a nice rubber seat belt just to ensure he’s not going to fall out on any high speed turns.

Jack’s hand sculpts work fine with the steering wheel, and while they are twisted in placed inside the box, you can get rid of the ties and still keep his hands firmly on the wheel.

The sled looks terrific, and is pretty much in scale with the rest of the entire series. It includes the scratches down either side, and all the right detailing in the rivets and treads. The large bundle of packages is wrapped with a separate rubber rope, giving it a more realistix appearance than had it all been one piece. And the rubber rope attaching the sleigh to the snowmobile is removable, in case you want to change up the look. The bundle is also hollow, but made from a fairly thick rubber, so it doesn’t end up looking like a chew toy.

There are screws holding the snowmobile together, since it’s assembled from two halves, but they are not particularly distracting, nor do they ruin the lines of the sculpt.

Paint – ***
This score evens out the paint ops on the snowmobile/sleigh (great) with the work on Jack himself (not quite as great).

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The bright colors of the vehicle will contrast nicely with many of the darker tones of the rest of the series. Everything on the vehicle is clean and sharp, with nice cuts between colors and just the right amount of detail painting. I’m particularly happy with the shading and shadowing on the pile of toys, which makes it appear lumpier and larger than it really is.

Jack is good, but has a few issues. The white of his head isn’t as consistent and even in coverage and color as the first series version, and the general quality of his paint just seemed a step down from past releases. He’s not terrible, but more on par with mass market toys than the specialty market quality we’ve gotten accostumed to.

Articulation – ***1/2
The vehicle isn’t particularly articulated, although it does have small wheels on both the bottom of the snowmobile (which drive the pull back action) and on the bottom of the sleigh (which simply turn free). The treads themselves do not turn, but the steering wheel has some movement in it.

Jack has plenty of articulation to make up for it though. I gave the series 1 Jack four stars in this category, but this time around I’m having a little more trouble with gapping and weak joints, particularly at the bicep cuts. He has a great ball jointed neck with plenty of movement, ball jointed shoulders and hips, cut biceps and thighs, and pin knees, elbows and wrists. There’s also the joint at the chest where the coat mets the lower torso.

I believe he still has the two joints in the neck, one at the top and one at the bottom, but I couldn’t get the lower one to free up. I’ve broke enough of my stuff to avoid going wild with it, but the old freezer trick is in his future.

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Accessories – **1/2
While this is a more average score, I’m not counting either the figure or the vehicle as an accessory, but rather the main highlight. Therefore, while this category is still important, it won’t have as big of an effect on the final overall score.

There’s one accessory here, and it makes complete sense. It’s Jack’s goggles that he wore while driving the snowmobile. They are made from a hard plastic, and fit on over the top of his head. It took some work to get them in place, and keeping them there is a little tricky, but once you manage to find the sweet spot they look terrific.

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Action Feature – ***
The snowmobile is powered with a pull-back action. You know what I’m talking about – rest the vehicle on a hard surface, pull it backward to wind the gears, and let it go. In theory, it zips ahead full speed.

And the theory works pretty well here, although some times I had to fiddle with it just to get it started rolling. But as action features go, this one is innocous for the collector and fun for the kids, a great combination. The only downside for the collector is if you don’t quite get all the oompf out of the drive, until you place it back on the shelf, and zip! He runs down an entire town of figures.

Fun Factor – ***
Put the nifty action feature together with a very well sculpted and sturdy vehicle, and you get a solid toy for kids who are big fans. Of course, it will be predominately collectors buying this, but the few kids that do manage to get their hands on it will be happy.

Value – **1/2
At $24, about twice the price of a single figure, you’re getting a average value. Had I paid $20, or had there been a few more extra packages, another half star would have popped up in this category.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. If you’re picking them out on the shelf, look for the very best paint ops on Jack. When you’re playing around with him, remember that some of those joints are a tad fragile. And last but not least, make sure those gears are completely wound down before you place him on the shelf. He might be wearing his seat belt, but driving off a high shelf onto a hard floor is still going to leave a mark.

Overall – ***1/2
If you’re a fan of the movie, you really need to have this full line in your collection. Hey, it makes for a terrific Halloween or Christmas decoration too, and I’ve seen some amazing displays of the entire set put together with custom built versions of Halloweentown. Also, if you missed out on the first Jack, this is a great chance to add him to your display and get a great vehicle in the deal. Even if you aren’t picking up the entire series, this vehicle with Jack is large enough to make a nice display all it’s own.

Where to Buy –
Hot Topic and Spencers stores should get these in, and your online options include:

– Amazing Toyz has him in stock for $24.

– CornerStoreComics also has him in for $24. They also have the great Oogie Boogie set still available!

Related Links –
I’ve reviewed a lot of the Nightmare product produced by NECA so far…

– as I mentioned, there’s a guest review of the Lock, Shock and Barrel set, and my review of series 4.

– also recent was series 3, Jack/Oogie Boogie boxed set, and the 14″ Jack with multiple heads.

– the second series of figures, with Santa Jack, the Witches, Harlequinn Demon and Dr. Finklestein was one of my favorites.

– I also reviewed the first series of figures, with Jack, Sally, the Mayor and the Vampire.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/31/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Kaspar-Hauser has another special word from the law offices of Glinder & Glinder… (Thingamabob)
  • Diet Coke & Mentos – the madness continues… (Thingamabob)
  • Ever seen comic book legend Jack “The King” Kirby in the flesh? If not, rectify that now… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. “Through, through, through – he’ll get that train through!” (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 30, 2006

Spook’d #101: Extreme Lair Makeover – Move That Bus

Filed under: Comic Strips,Spook'd — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger sized comic | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Spook'd #101: Move That Bus

To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

Check out the preview to…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

Widge Goes Off #16: The Walls of If

Filed under: Widge Goes Off — widge @ 12:16 am
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widgepic.jpgHowdy folks. Miss me?

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and decaf coffee.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (32.2 MB)

Terribly busy watching horror movies. No time for box office mess, since basically all you need to know is that you can expect Saw 4 next Halloween. If you need more, find it at Box Office Mojo.

Universal’s anti-fan prickish ways.

The Browncoat Invoice.

Disney-ABC speaks sense at last.

The Clicker talks about entitlement.

Boy Scouts have no clue how to “Respect Copyrights”.

YouTube crackdowns begin.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

Nocturnal Admissions: Book Review, A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:10 am
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I was surprised the other day to receive a copy of A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film (Newmarket Press, 304 pages, $13.95, ISBN 0.307.27775.5), not because it is unusual to receive books in the mail, but because I didn’t know that there was a movie called A Good Year coming out.

The film turns out to be Ridley Scott’s adaptation of a novel by Provencal specialist Peter Mayle. The book doesn’t contain the script, but rather what is advertised as excerpts from the script, which in fact turn out to be really no more than pull quotes from the movie.

Though I haven’t seen A Good Year I decided to review the book anyway. There is a simple reason for that. I wanted to see if a seemingly lighthearted Scott film would pull my heart strings.

I admit it. I’m a sap. There is something about love stories that can really get to me. There are several occasions where I have actually gotten weepy eyed over romantic comedies, and not even the movie version, but just the script. One was Nothing Hill, which I read in paperback book form before seeing the film. Another was the first version of what became The Wedding Planer, but was called Mary Me Jane when I read it. I actually got tears in my eyes as I read the thing. Unfortunately, that version was utterly changed, though the resultant film was a huge hit. Nevertheless, consequently I have determined that I am the perfect market research tool for romances. If even the written version can unleash the waterworks, there must be something in it.

Good Year cover

So I placed A Good Year: Portrait of the Film, with an introduction by Scott and Mayle, on the desk before me and studied it. The cover shows an image of star Russell Crowe, his face covered in dappled golden light, out of focus foliage behind him. Crowe is smiling, and looking down, and his white shirt suggests casualness. So we have something new, or at least newish, here – a happy Crowe rather than the brooding, brutal, brutish Crowe of tabloid stories and previous movies. The close up appears to emphasize the change, wagging its hands and jumping up and down to say, “New Crowe, new Crowe!”

I open the cover of the slightly oversized book, and see – another image of Crowe, one that looks almost exactly like the cover image, but looking left to right. It’s clear that the publicity for the film is built this sea change in Crowe’s persona.

The subsequent book is divided into three parts. The first section is the product of interviews with both Scott and Mayle, who, it turns out, were old friends, back when both were in advertising, and before Scott became a world famous movie director and Mayle bailed from that world and began writing novels and memoirs of his life in souther France. Although the book no where makes this clear, A Good Year turns out to be a remake of A Year in Provence, already adapted to the screen, as a TV mini-series, in 1993.

The bulk of the book tells the story of the film, copiously illustrated with color stills. The final section contains “making of” stuff that essentially reads like press kit material.

The middle section is the book has an interesting affect. It comes across like a kids’ storybook, amply illustrated, surrounded by a nice big typeface and lots of white around the text. Here the tale of the film is laid out. It concerns a London trader named Max Skinner, played by Crowe, who inherits a winery from his uncle (played by Albert Finney). Traveling to Provence to liquidate the estate, he ends up staying for several weeks, meeting an attractive local woman who runs a restaurant, and dealing with both the surviving land manager and the young American woman who turns out to be the uncle’s rightful heir.

The thrust of the film is that Skinner must change. He must drop the high pressure world of finance and investment gambling for the more lackadaisical but soul replenishing pace of country life. This change must come about, in classic screwball manner, though his ritual humiliation. The movie’s charge is to alert us to be patient, that Skinner will change, and grow to accept this new way of living.

The storybook got to me at two points. One was when Skinner, in an attempt to woo the restauranteur, says he will work one night when she happens to be short handed if she will have dinner with him. Later, when he comes back from London, he surprises her and says something that on the page sounded very romantic but could be laughable out loud if Crowe doesn’t manage to say it right. I expect that he will. But don’t try it at home. Both moments started the waterworks, and I thought that, despite what might be its flaws of low comedy and sentimentality, the film might just work. At least it did on paper.

As I was reading the storybook part, it occurred to me that this might be the best way to present scripts to actors (especially if the story about Jessica Simpson is true). It reads fast, hits all the high points, manages not to leave anything out (I assume), and is amply illustrated (there would surely be a way to PhotoShop a prospective actor into the director and production designer’s vision). Reading it takes about half as long to do as the film itself would last, and weaves its magic quickly, without all the impedimenta of classic screenplay formating.

By this point, I was curious: Who wrote this thing? No author is credited on the cover or the title page. But buried on the last page of the book where its credits are listed, the book’s editing is credited to Diana Landau, who is a movie book project manager at Newmarket Press. I assume than that she wrote the text. If so, she might like to consider a career in treatment writing for recalcitrant readers. Her work could effectively change the way movies are made.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/30/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Kaspar-Hauser has a special word from the law offices of Glinder & Glinder… (Thingamabob)
  • Shill that stone age grape drink, Fred… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
  • Who’s Incapable Of Being A Millionaire? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

October 27, 2006

Game On! 10-28-2006

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 8:36 pm

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And so it begins. He big titles are rolling in for the holidays, from standard console offerings, to big names on downloadable titles for Xbox Live Arcade, this is the season where your wallet will be tested. This week we have one of the biggest and most long awaited (and of course, unnecessarily controversial) games finally seeing release, as well as a downloadable game that potable fans have been enjoying for a while as well.

EVERY BULLY NEEDS SOME BULLY SOMETIME

bully.jpgRockstar Games is well known for video game controversy. The makers of GRAND THEFT AUTO have been sued more than I care to recognize simply due to the fact that folks aren’t doing proper parenting. So when it was announced that their next big title for PS2 would take place in a school setting, the outraged outcry began without so much as a single detail of what the gameplay was going to like. Folks were threatening to ban the game from stores before its release, calling their upcoming title a “Columbine Simulator” and other such ridiculous terms. And why? Because it came from the House that GTA Built. Never mind the fact that they never revealed the gameplay, what the tasks would be, etc”¦they just automatically assumed the worst. Well, I’m here to say this: nyah nyah neener neener. BULLY is, simply, a story about a kid who attends BULLWORTH ACADAMY”¦it’s not so much about him being a bully as it is him stopping the bullies. No guns, no death, just kids going to class and dealing with the same crap cliques that kids always have to deal with.

And, I’ll admit, young Jimmy Hopkins’ methods of dealing are a bit more violent than most parents would like, but it’s not like he doesn’t get reprimanded for his actions. Start a fight, and the prefects come and try to stop you. Vandalizing, causing a disorder, or being truant from class gets you sent to the principal’s office after too many indiscretions, and finally, you must serve detention. And yes, detention means menial labor, from mowing the football field to shoveling snow. Yes, it’s a game, but these are the tasks in the game you want to avoid.

So what is a troublemaker to do? Well, watch his own back, for one. As soon as he steps foot on campus, Jimmy is harassed and bullied, so he must use his “unique influence” over the other kids in order to get them to respect him. Sure, that means beating up a couple of punks, but that also means protecting the weaker ones. The nerds seem to call Jimmy hero first, and as you progress through the game’s chapters, you earn the respect of the other cliques; the preps, the greasers, the jocks and the other bullies”¦all down to stopping on vindictive little boy named Gary from turning each group against you.

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There’s also your class schedule to worry about. Each day you have two classes between 9 am and 1pm, each with their own “lessons” to help your skills progress in the game. From Chemistry where proper button presses earn you the ability to make smoke bombs and fire cracker in your dorm’s chem set, to English class word jumbles helping you to better exert yourself socially with your classmates such as apologizing to the bigger bullies and taunts for the socially inept. Dodge ball games strengthen your aim with projectile weapons such as your slingshot, and shop class helps you move around town with bikes. After passing five lessons, you unlock the best abilities, and no longer need to attend that class (but can do back for “extra credit”). This frees up your day time for you “extra curricular” activities; namely following the game’s story missions.

This is probably where the game will most resemble the GTA mold. Bullworth Academy is in the heart of the New England township of Bullworth, which includes Bullworth Vale, New Coventry and the surrounding areas. Most of the later missions in the game will have you leaving campus more and more to complete you tasks, as different cliques call different areas home. Jimmy has the freedom to roam these street at any time”¦but if he’s supposed to be in class, or it’s after curfew he’ll get nabbed by the cops. What’s worse is, since Jimmy’s only 15 he tends to get tired when it’s too late at night. If you’re not in bed by the time the clock strikes 2am, you pass out on the spot.

Missions range from the simple “escort the nerd” type to various ranges of fisticuffs in order to prove your dominant roll as the hot shot with the right hook. There are times when you’re called upon to help your fellow students, and times where the faculty may need your special brand of “reasoning”. The thing with Jimmy is, he’s not really that bad of a kid. Most of the other students think he’s pretty dumb, just a guy who can hold his own in a fight, but he’s pretty shrewd at organization and manipulation, doing tasks for others to get what he really wants: respect from everyone.

BULLY truly is a real world school simulation. From the trials of getting in with the right cliques, to trying to get that special someone to notice you (kissing girls actually increases your health”¦nice touch) this is just how high school is. Sure, this may be a bit more FUN than most schools, but that’s really the point isn’t it? BULLY takes everything you loved (and hated) about school, infuses it with realistic character archetypes and solid storytelling, and makes off with one of the best interactive experiences out today. Totally a passing grade.

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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LUMINES LAME!

Okay, just like every puzzle game nut out there, I loved LUMINES when it came to the PSP as a launch title, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the Xbox Live Arcade version”¦until I saw the price and learned the details of the download. It seems that LUMINES LIVE! on Xbox Live Arcade has a few downfalls. Firstly, the price is 1,200 Microsoft points (which works out to be $15 US). Sure, for a recent game that offers a great deal of puzzle action, this may not be such a bad thing. But what they don’t tell you when you pay this and download the game is that you still aren’t getting the whole shebang, despite paying the large amount. See, the 1,200 points just get you the “Base” mode for standard arcade gameplay. If you want to play more than the first few levels of Challenge mode, you’ll have to pay another 600 Microsoft points ($8). Want more skins and music? Another 600 points. Want to play more than the first 5 levels of the Time Trials or Puzzle modes? Guess what, you’ll have to pay more. Needless to say, this has severely cheesed off a few gamers (including my boss at my day job, who ranted for a good 45 minutes on the subject). To top it all off, the trial version of the game is virtually the same exact thing as the version you pay $15 for, save for the lack of multiplayer. Why then is the version you pay for called the “full” version if there are multiple downloads (with multiple dollar amounts) needed to get the entire gaming experience? That’s like spending $60 on Madden, and only being able to play two quarters of a game, only to have them say “to finish this game, give us ten more bucks”.

Sadly, it seems that’s the way these downloadable content issues are going too. While LUMINES LIVE! is the extreme, games like MADDEN and TIGER WOODS 07 are offering gamers the “opportunity” to buy extra content for their game that really should be offered for free, such as new jerseys for their teams. Wait a sec, 200 points for a single different colored shirt that doesn’t affect gameplay at all? I seriously hope no one is actually buying a new set of shoes for their baller in NBA LIVE 07. And for TIGER WOODS, they’re actually charging for content that CAN BE UNLOCKED BY THE GAMER FOR FREE. You want those extra courses and golfers, but don’t feel like taking the time to actually, oh, I don’t know, play the game and earn them? Well, why not spend 5 or 10 bucks and download them? I’ll tell you why: because it’s fucking ridiculous, that’s why. Content like that (such as the extra costumes for DEAD RISING) should be free, or perhaps be offered in a pack, like the SAINTS ROW clothing pack”¦69 pieces for 100 points isn’t a hardship at all. But no, there’s crap like a download for the GODFATHER game to give your character more money! That’s right, spending real money to use as game money”¦I think EA may be in bed with those gold farmers from WORLD OF WARCRAFT.

Bottom line, Marketplace downloads are starting to get to be less for the consumer and more for the consumerism. Hopefully not many of you were burned by these tactics. While LUMINES LIVE! admittedly is a good game, you’ll end up paying far more for the whole game itself than you originally intended. Hopefully you have a PSP, because it’s only $20 on that system”¦

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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CRAPTACULAR GAME OF THE WEEK

itc.jpgAs I’ve said many times before, I am not a car guy. If it gets me from point A to point B without breaking down, I’m a happy guy. Still, there are a smattering of race titles out there that I do enjoy, just so long as there isn’t TOO much of the gearhead mentality needed to go along with them. Sadly, this is not the case with IMPORT TUNER CHALLENGE, out for the Xbox 360. Another chapter in the TOKYO XTREME RACER series, this title pits you as a racer on the streets of Japan, tuning cars and winning races in the most basic and boring of ways. There is no free roaming city, and no real need to try to learn maps either since there really aren’t any. Most take place along the same circling highway, just on the outer or inner loops. Races are done much in the same way as STREET SUPREMACY on PSP: racers have a “Spirit Point” (or health) bar that depletes depending on how much of a lead the y have/lose or how much they run into shit, making some races quite short, and hence, boring. The tuning aspects are also fairly basic so that non-greasers like me can fiddle with parts enough to get good speed and handling, but don’t really offer much to recommend the title, let alone call it a “challenge”. The graphics are only ok, but definitely not worthy of the “next gen” console it’s on. Sadly, this is just a passable game that doesn’t really do anything special unless you must have every racing title on the market, or are REALLY into the TOKYO XTREME style of games.

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One Gamer’s Opinion:
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Sure, not as many titles as I wanted to get to this week, but BULLY sort of took all my time this time around. Next week, I’ll have that SPLINTER CELL review, as well as something I’m sure you’re all (well, the RPG fans are anyway) waiting for”¦ FINAL FANTASY XII. See you next time.

THE GAME ON! RATING SYSTEM

 

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Kick-Ass, Right On, Okay, Eh, and Stinker (or Craptacular)

Comics in Context #152: “Ott Krittik” At Work

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 2:51 pm
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According to a writer named Brian Braiker in Newsweek (Oct. 30, 2006), “There was nothing new in… exhibiting cartoons even back in 1974, when Mort Walker, the creator of cic2006-10-27.jpgBeetle Bailey, founded the Museum of Cartoon Art…. But to “˜establish a canon of… the most influential artists working in the medium’? That’s the mission of “˜Masters of American Comics,'” the landmark exhibition which I began reviewing last week.

Perhaps Braiker never visited the Museum of Cartoon Art (whose founder, Mort, not incidentally is the father of Brian Walker, co-curator of “Masters”) when it was still in Port Chester, but it had a “hall of fame” gallery which, in effect, was an attempt to establish a pantheon of the greatest artists in the cartoon art medium, including many of those honored by the “Masters” show.

One major difference is that the Museum of Cartoon Art (which is currently homeless), the Words and Pictures Museum (permanently closed) in Northampton, Massachusetts, San Francisco’s Cartoon Art Museum, and New York City’s Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (both institutions still alive and kicking) all operated outside the mainstream establishment of art museums and art scholarship.

According to one of the Masters, Art Spiegelman, the show originated in his reaction to what he considered the condescending attitude towards comics that was taken by the Museum of Modern Art in its notorious 1980s exhibition “High and Low.” In 1992 he invited curators from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum, the Library of Congress and other institutions to his studio to show them slides of the work of over twenty cartoonists and propose a museum exhibition that would treat comics seriously as an artform. Two years later, one of the attendees, Ann Philbin, on becoming head of the Hammer Museum in California, started work on what became the “Masters” show. The unspoken subtext of Spiegelman’s story is that obviously the representatives of the other museums were not sufficiently persuaded that comics were art. “I have all sorts of issues with the idea that a [Roy] Lichtenstein painting of a comic-book panel is art, but the original comic panel it draws on is not considered art,” Spiegelman said in the Nov. 28, 2005 issue of Time. (However, thanks to a recent donation of cartoon art, the Library of Congress is mounting its own show this fall.

So “Masters” is indeed groundbreaking. Spiegelman also said in that same issue of Time, “What comics are going through is like a civil rights movement,” says Spiegelman. “This museum show will help.” Braiker claims that “the idea of ivory-tower cred seems anathema to this most outré of outsider arts.” But comics are simply following the same path to cultural and scholarly respectability that other forms of popular culture have over the centuries. As critic Richard Corliss observed in his review of “Masters” for Time (Nov. 28, 2005), “Like Hitchcock thrillers and rock ‘n’ roll, comics are obeying the tidal pull of pop culture. What was once forbidden is now mainstream; what was once junk is now classic.”

But at the panel about the “Masters” show at this year’s San Diego Comic Con (see “Comics in Context” #145), the question was raised whether people might assume that the fifteen cartoonists saluted by the exhibition were the only ones who were worthy of being placed in this canon of great comics art. Brian Walker said, “I hope this group of fifteen isn’t set in stone.”

The “Masters” canon has already come under sharp criticism for excluding female cartoonists. That charge seems to me to derive more from political correctness than serious artistic considerations. What worries me is that I believe the selection of this canon of Masters implies a viewpoint on the evolution of the comics medium that unjustly eliminates the work of numerous comics professionals, male and female, from consideration, as I hope to show in future installments.

During its East Coast engagement, the first half of the “Masters” show is being held at the Newark Museum, and when I left off last week, I had begun a discussion of the work of the second Master in the show, Lyonel Feininger, creator of the early 20th century strips The Kin-der-Kids and Wee Willie Winkie’s World.

The introductory wall text for the Feininger section of the show states that “The flat color schemes and open spaces of his pages were inspired by his fascination with Japanese prints. . . .” Perhaps this is so, since many Western artists have been inspired by Japanese prints since Japan began trading with the West in the mid-19th century. But aren’t the “flat color schemes” also a necessity imposed by the four-color printing methods used by newspapers and formerly by comic books? As for the “open spaces,” they are present in certain panels of the Feininger comics on display, such as the broad triangular forms representing rooftops in a Kin-der-Kids from September 9, 1906 (page 188 in the Masters of American Comics book). But in other cases Feininger’s panels look crowded, or even a whole page, like “The Triumphant Departure of the Kids in the Family Bathtub” (The Kin-der-Kids, May 6, 1906, Masters p. 36). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, either: that page bursts with energy, as the Kids’ bathtub, a fleet of tugboats and an ocean liner all set sail, as an animate Statue of Liberty waves goodbye.

The Feininger page in the show that has the most “open space” is part of the
the online “slide show” accompanying New York Times art critic Michael Kimmelman’s review of “Masters”. On this April 29, 1906 Kin-der-Kids page (p. 186 in the catalogue) Feininger’s self-caricature stands on a slate-grey floor against a white void. He portrayed himself as a puppeteer, with the cast members of Kin-der-Kids dangling from strings. Here is another example of a theatrical metaphor in early comics, with the comic strip likened to a puppet show, controlled by an unseen figure behind the stage, and the further implication that the cartoonist is a performer, who acts through his “puppets,” the characters in the strip. Each of the puppets bears a tag identifying him, and so does the puppeteer himself, whose tag reads, “Your Uncle Feininger.” This might even imply that Feininger’s self-caricature is yet another puppet, a public image as a fatherly storyteller, created by the unseen artist.

I prefer the rambunctiousness of the Kin-der-Kids pages to the fairy tale milieu of Wee Willie Winkie’s World. As “Masters” co-curator John Carlin points out in the show’s catalogue, everything in Wee Willie Winkie’s World is alive and anthropomorphized. In a September 23, 2006 page (p. 38) enormous storm clouds with faces loom over a house, whose windows become terrified eyes. Here I am reminded of the “Pastoral Symphony” sequence in Walt Disney’s Fantasia (1940), which also has clouds with faces that blow gale-force winds, and in which Night is a goddess spreading her vast cloak across the sky. For my taste, though, Feininger’s stylized fantasy world in Wee Willie Winkie runs a poor second to Winsor McCay’s dream worlds in Little Nemo, which he presents in such persuasively detailed, concrete reality. I agree with Kimmelman in finding Feininger’s comics “a little lusterless sandwiched between Nemo and George Herriman’s great Krazy Kat.”

As usual, Carlin’s interest is in the cartoonist’s visual design for a page, emphasizing lines and shapes that can be regarded both as representational and as abstract elements. In the Sunday, September 16, 1906 Kin-der-Kids (p. 39), he contends that the waterspouts in the panels on the left side of the page form a “serpentine” line running from the bottom to the top of the page. I am more impressed with the waterspouts in the panels on the right side of the page, which seem to me to form a single funnel growing in size from the top of the page until it nearly fills the final panel.

In the Masters book Carlin asserts that “the run of Willie Winkie can be read as a prototypical graphic novel” (p. 40). Is it stretching the definition of “graphic novel” too far to refer to a series of Sunday comics pages this way? Later in the book, in his essay on Milton Caniff, journalist Pete Hamill reveals that “Caniff told me that he thought of the strip [Terry and the Pirates]–and his later creation, Steve Canyon–as a kind of picaresque novel, a form as old as Don Quixote“ (p. 232). Is a graphic novel necessarily a work of comics that is created specifically to be published in book form? It seems fair to me to consider Watchmen and V for Vendetta to be graphic novels, even though they were originally published in serialized “pamphlet” format. Moreover, following their original publication, new readers have experienced them as books, not as monthly comic magazines. So could Caniff’s Terry be considered a graphic novel, or each months-long story arc as an individual graphic novel?

Carlin justly praises the design of the show’s Krazy Kat Sunday page from Sept. 12, 1937 (p. 51). In the top left corner is a small panel featuring Ignatz Mouse, on his eternal quest to hurl bricks at Krazy Kat, determined that he will not be thwarted again by his nemesis Offissa Pupp: “He’ll not foil me, that Kop.” In the top right corner is a panel of the same size, with Offissa Pupp vowing “He’ll not fool me, that mouse.” But Ignatz, hiding in the base of a cactus plant in that same panel, already has. The rest of the page consists of a gigantic panel, stretching from the top middle to the bottom, and, as Carlin notes, dominated by the vertical column of the cactus, shown at its full height. It looks like an obelisk, or Washington’s Monument, in contrast with the flat ground below. Ignatz is triumphantly at the top, dropping the brick, as if he were Galileo experimenting with gravity, as the oblivious Krazy, who considers these bricks as love tokens, leans nonchalantly against the bottom of the tree, saying, “He’ll not fail me, that dollink.” In the catalogue (Kat-alogue?) Carlin states that the play of words with “foil,” “fool,” and “fail” is a pun; I see the parallelism in the three characters’ lines of dialogue as a kind of poetry.

And there along the bottom of the page is a row of footlights, as if this were taking place onstage. Carlin compares it to a “theatrical presentation.” I’d go farther: it’s as if Krazy, Ignatz, and Pupp were a team of comedians performing their vaudeville act for the audience: their inexhaustible variations on the gag in which Krazy gets clobbered. Standing center stage, with his/her (Krazy’s gender is uncertain) name at the top, Krazy is the star of the show. The towering cactus and the simple setting are like a stage set, with the night sky like a black backdrop.

Krazy, Ignatz and Pupp are therefore presented as actors playing roles in the comic strip. The same conceit underlies Friz Freleng’s 1940 animated short You Oughta Be in Pictures, in which Daffy Duck manipulates Porky Pig into confronting Looney Tunes producer Leon Schlesinger (shown in live action) and quitting, or, in more recent decades, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) and Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003), which purport that animated characters are actors working at Hollywood studios. The same basic idea recurred in comics when Li’l Abner would visit Al Capp, or Pogo characters would refer to their creator Walt Kelly, or the She-Hulk would complain to her unseen writer/artist John Byrne.

Hence, a further implication of this Krazy Kat Sunday is that the unseen Herriman is the writer/director, putting on a show for the audience reading their newspapers at home in the 1930s–or perusing a museum exhibit in 2006.

In reading comics, we ordinarily suspend our disbelief and pretend that static lines on paper are actually living, moving characters; hence, the panels become windows into their world. Herriman’s footlights subvert this convention: we’re no longer looking at characters in a real world but at actors on a stage. Herriman has reminded us that Krazy Kat is an artificial construction, and, of course, if we take a step further, we remind ourselves that Krazy Kat is really a drawing in a newspaper.

To continue the theatrical analogy, Carlin’s approach in the Masters book is Brechtian: he stands back from the story the comics tell, and even from their attempts to visually represent reality, and insists on regarding them as if they were abstract works comprised of line, shapes and (often) colors.

Kimmelman asserts that Krazy Kat’s desert setting anticipates the work of Samuel Beckett, presumably meaning the play Waiting for Godot. As Godot demonstrates, Beckett also loved slapstick humor and vaudeville-style comedy routines, and I suppose that Ignatz’s brick throwing is the way by which he, Krazy and Pupp pass the time in the strip’s desolate landscape. But there’s no sense of comedy staving off despair and emptiness in Krazy Kat as there is in Godot.

In his essay on Herriman in the catalogue, cultural critic Stanley Crouch points out that Krazy Kat‘s desert milieu was inspired by Monument Valley, the site where John Ford shot so many of his Westerns, and asserts that the desert is “especially American” because it is “the harsh landscape” for “brutal conflicts,” presumably meaning the wars with Indians (p. 197). That may be true for Ford, but I can’t swallow the idea that Krazy Kat alludes to violence worse than being hit by a brick which is as harmless in this strip as a custard pie. Monument Valley might also be the inspiration for the terrain in Chuck Jones’s Roadrunner cartoons. Maybe Jones and Herriman (whose Krazy Kat cast also includes a coyote) simply regarded the desert as the simplest of naturalistic settings. Despite the way that Herriman’s backgrounds shapeshift from panel to panel, their simplicity does not distract from the performances of his lead characters. Hence Herriman is practicing a sort of graphic minimalism, making him a forebear of Charles Schulz’s Peanuts.

What most interests me about the Krazy Kat strips in the “Masters” show is the “metacomics” theme that runs throughout the exhibition. In the Sunday page for June 11, 1939 (p. 48), Ignatz finds a brush and a bottle of ink, and sets about drawing a cartoon of himself. As Carlin notes, Ignatz is repeatedly depicted in Krazy Kat as an artist. So Herriman may be signaling his identification with this trickster character: he draws himself, or an aspect of himself, into the strip as Ignatz, just as Ignatz draws himself. Ignatz starts out by drawing a cartoon panel, but it seems that he is also drawing a canvas in thin air, thereby creating it. Moreover, as I said before, a comics panel is like a window into another world. So Ignatz, as artist, creates another reality, just as Herriman is the creator of the world of Krazy Kat. The characters and things that Ignatz draws onto this canvas appear in red ink, whereas the “real” world of Krazy Kat appears in conventional black outlines. This contrast further suggests that the world of Ignatz’s drawings is a distinctly separate level of reality.

Offissa Pupp stops by and acts as audience (and, in his role as law enforcer, potential censor?) for Ignatz’s art. The “cartoon” Ignatz that “real” Ignatz draws changes position from one of Herriman’s panels to the next. (It’s getting complicated here.) Is “real” Ignatz drawing a comic strip, and each new panel replaces the previous one? Or is Herriman suggesting that “real” Ignatz is creating an animated cartoon, whose characters move once they are drawn, as in Max and Dave Fleischer’s Out of the Inkwell series, to which “real” Ignatz’s ink bottle could be an allusion? Or are the Ignatz and Krazy that “real” Ignatz draws existing in an alternate reality?

“Real” Ignatz completes his cartoon, which shows “cartoon” Ignatz throwing a brick at Krazy. This seems to be “real” Ignatz’s foremost goal and pleasure in life, so perhaps Herriman is suggesting that artists draw what they desire, what makes them happy. As if feeling satisfied and fulfilled, “real” Ignatz starts walking away, while Offissa Pupp remains rooted to the spot, staring at the cartoon-within-a-cartoon.

In the next panel, as if he were Matisse responding to seeing a Picasso, Offissa Pupp reacts to Ignatz’s cartoon by drawing his own, titled “JAIL,” portraying Ignatz behind bars. This, of course, represents Pupp’s own foremost goal in life. But he is oblivious to what is happening behind him: “real” Ignatz is throwing a brick at Krazy, just as his counterpart did in the cartoon-within-a-cartoon. Thus life, in the Krazy Kat universe, mimics art.

So “real” Ignatz’s cartoon was actually a declaration of his intentions, which he then accomplished in “real” life. You could also read “real” Ignatz’s cartoon as a prophesy of the future, which comes to pass in the next panel. Likewise, Offissa Pupp is drawing what he intends to accomplish. This too is a look into the future, because what Krazy Kat reader doubts that “real” Ignatz will soon end up back in jail for this latest brick-throwing incident?

But you could also read this particularly Sunday strip as trickster Ignatz pulling a new con on Offissa Pupp. It’s like that standard Bugs Bunny gag in which Bugs tricks an adversary into mechanically repeating the same action over and over. Offissa Pupp becomes so fixated on “real” Ignatz’s drawing of himself clobbering Krazy that the hapless policeman preoccupies himself with punishing “cartoon” Ignatz by drawing “cartoon” Ignatz in jail. Having thus distracted Offissa Pupp, “real” Ignatz is free to clobber the “real” Krazy.

The con artist is a particularly American form of the trickster archetype, which reappears in the “Masters” show as E. C. Segar’s J. Wellington Wimpy, and also as Charles Schulz’s Lucy. In his essay in the catalogue, Mutts creator Patrick McDonnell points to Krazy Kat’s influence on Schulz (p. 243). Isn’t Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown year after year Schulz’s possibly intentional version of Herriman’s endless variations on Ignatz’s brick tossing?

Along the bottom of this Sunday Krazy page runs a narrow panel that serves as an afterword to the main story. Krazy, Pupp, and Ignatz all watch a bird who is staring at a painting of a tree, as a big drop of saliva drops from his beak. “But he’s an “˜ott krittik,’ ain’t he?” asks Krazy. “Yes,” replies Pupp, “but he’s also a woodpecker.” Granted this epiphany, Ignatz responds, “ah-h.” Herriman may be making the point that an art critic’s personal psychology influences his response to a work of art. Or maybe this can even be seen as a reproach (over sixty years in advance) to Carlin’s approach to comics as “abstract” works: Herriman may be reminding readers not to ignore the representationalist aspect of the work.,

Next in the “Masters” show comes E. C. Segar, creator of Thimble Theatre Starring Popeye, whose very title continues the analogy between comics and theater.

Carlin’s discussion of Segar in the Masters book has its problems. Take for example his description of what he calls a “brilliant sight gag” in the genuinely great “Plunder Island” story arc in Thimble Theater‘s Sunday pages in 1934. In one installment Popeye hides in a barrel because his enemy, the Sea Hag, has ordered Wimpy to behead him. “Several weeks later,” in another Sunday page (July 1, 1934), Popeye plays dice with the Sea Hag to determine ownership of the treasure of Plunder Island; the Hag desperately wagers everything she has, even her clothes, and ends up wearing “the same-style wooden barrel that Popeye hid in weeks earlier” (p. 58). Well, Segar may have intended the irony, but I doubt that he expected it to get laughs from readers. A comedian doesn’t deliver a punch line several weeks after the set-up, which by then the audience has forgotten.

Likewise, Carlin claims that “Segar’s humor came straight out of Mark Twain, who also balanced exaggerated tall tales and a perfect ear for everyday speech with dark themes that undercut his laugh-out-loud stories” (p. 55). There are similarities, but I doubt there was a “straight out” connection. Twain’s “tall tales” went so far as to include time travel in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, but in that novel he characteristically brings a subversively ironic treatment to the romance of Arthurian legend. Amidst all the comedy of Thimble Theatre, Segar created a genuine American hero of larger-than-life proportions in Popeye, a successor to the likes of Pecos Bill. I suspect that Segar used Popeye as a seafaring traveler to create a satirical version of the adventure stories of the 19th and early 20th centuries, complete with fantasy elements: hence not only searches for hidden treasure and Popeye’s famed quest to find his long-lost Pappy, but also mythical kingdoms (Spinachovia), magical animals (Eugene the Jeep), strange savages (the Goons), and even an evil witch (the Sea Hag).

More importantly, Segar deals in exaggeration in creating the personalities of his most significant characters, whereas Twain aimed for realism. One can imagine Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn being real people in a real world, but Popeye, Wimpy and company are inescapably cartoons, not only in their caricatured physiques but in their characterizations. Robert Altman and Jules Feiffer’s live action Popeye movie (1980) did not work, and perhaps there was no way that it could.

Carlin correctly agrees with comics historian Bill Blackbeard’s recognition that Popeye is a proto-superhero. (In a Sunday October 11, 1936 strip in the show, and on page 54 in the book, Popeye lifts up an entire house, without the aid of spinach.) But then Carlin goes on, “At the same time Popeye is a much more complex and sympathetic character than the later superheroes, who tend to be somewhat stiff and colorless” (p. 58). How much “later”? Once Stan Lee and his colleagues revolutionized the superhero genre in the 1960s, this was unquestionably no longer true.

Feiffer’s own appreciation of Segar and Popeye in the Masters book is far more successful. Feiffer makes the case that Popeye is the heroic representation of the American spirit that remained “undaunted” by the Great Depression of the 1930s: “Popeye was the forgotten man: uneducated, unsophisticated, untamable” (p. 208). More surprisingly, whereas I always thought that Popeye’s distinctive way of talking reflected his lower class background and lack of formal education, Feiffer regards it as a sign of something else: “His mangled English pulsated with the vital spirit of immigrant America. . .” (p. 208). Best of all, Feiffer identifies Popeye’s true peers: Segar’s “Popeye stands with the best of his thirties competitors, who happened not to be comic strip characters but movie clowns: W. C. Fields and the Marx Brothers” (p. 208). They portrayed larger than life characters, too.

My main disagreement with Feiffer’s essay is with his blanket condemnation of Popeye’s entire history in animation, though Feiffer rightly praises the performances of voice actors Jack Mercer and Mae Questel as Popeye and Olive Oyl. Feiffer is also right about the uninspired Popeye cartoons produced by Paramount’s Famous Studios in the 1940s and 1950s, which smoothed over the rough edges that make Popeye’s personality interesting, devolving him into a postwar suburban bourgeois.

But I think Feiffer is unfair about the Max and Dave Fleischer Popeye cartoons of the 1930s, which keep the title character irascible and irreverent (especially through Mercer’s seemingly improvised asides). Feiffer disdains the formula that the Fleischers devised for Popeye: the Popeye-Olive-Bluto triangle, and the seemingly magical ability of spinach to boost the hero’s strength in time of need. But within the seven or eight minutes allotted to one of these animated cartoons, the Fleischers understandably couldn’t undertake one of Segar’s elaborate narratives (although they tried with the search for Pappy in the 1938 short Goonland).

I think it’s also worth exploring why the Fleischers’ formula proved so successful. If Popeye is indeed a hero born of the Great Depression, as Feiffer argues, then the key moment in the Fleischer cartoons, when Popeye declares “That’s all I kin stand, I can’t stands no more” (a forebear of Bugs Bunny’s “Of course you know this means war” and even Droopy’s “You know what? You got me mad.”), downs the spinach, and lets loose, dramatizes the urge of the forgotten man to fight back against everything that holds him down. Feiffer dismisses the cartoons’ spinach as “steroids”; I see it more as an objective correlative for Popeye’s will power, stimulating the burst of adrenaline he needs to win.

The best Fleischer Popeye cartoons don’t necessarily adhere to formula; take the cases of Goonland and The Jeep (1938), in which Bluto never appears. And even the better Fleischer cartoons that use the triangle can ring imaginative variations on the theme, just as Krazy Kat did with its own formula. For example, the Fleischers’ celebrated A Dream Walking (1934) is less about Popeye competing with Bluto for Olive than about the three of them rhythmically sleepwalking along a vertiginous network of girders in a skyscraper under construction, in a triumph of visual design John Carlin would appreciate.

This gives me the opportunity to mention two of the last cartoons I still haven’t written about that I saw at the Film Society of Lincoln Center’s 2005 retrospective of musical cartoons, “I Love to Singa” (see “Comics in Context” #100, #136 and many others in between). In the two color featurettes Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor (1936) and Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Baba’s Forty Thieves (1937) shown there, the Fleischers rework their formula by recasting Bluto as characters out of the Arabian Nights. Popeye becomes not only an explorer but an American venturing abroad to combat foreign enemies. Following the 9/11 attacks, the sight of Popeye taking on Arabian adversaries takes on new resonance. Significantly, Popeye’s final, triumphant battles against his foreign opponents are accompanied on the soundtracks by John Philip Sousa’s “Stars and Stripes Forever.” In these featurettes the Fleischers seem to be consciously portraying Popeye as a modern American mythic hero, who can stand up to and overcome morally corrupt mythic figures of older cultures. Sindbad even turns Popeye into a monster slayer, placing him in a tradition that goes back to Gilgamesh.

In the Masters book Carlin states that “Segar did not invent graphic comic strip conventions or experiment with them the way that Herriman and McCay did. Segar simply showed how rich and supple those conventions could be in terms of creating believable characters and stories. . .” (p. 56). In other words, in this case Carlin shifts from his usual emphasis on visual design to what I consider the true essence of the comics medium: visual storytelling.

Even so, I suspect that Carlin underrates Segar as visual innovator. Where would Robert Crumb be without Segar, whose drawing style clearly influenced his? In “Masters” I was pleased to see examples of Segar’s “topper” strip for the Sunday Thimble Theatres, Sappo, which began as a rather dull domestic comedy, but flared into life with the addition of science fiction elements courtesy of the aptly named Professor O. G. Wottasnozzle. Apart from his sizable snozzle, the Professor, bald with a long beard, could be a relative of Crumb’s Mr. Natural. The henpecked Sappo’s wife, who towers over him, could be a forerunner of Crumb’s own unusually large women. Segar’s standard face for extras in Thimble Theatre could be the visage of Crumb’s Flakey Foont.

Going through the Segar section of the exhibit, I was struck by the sheer dynamic force power of the shots of Popeye punching his opponents. These panels reminded me of the work of Jack Kirby, who was once an in-betweener at the Fleischer studios. In the Masters book you can find shots like this on pages 59, 204 and 205, but what most impressed me was a series of Sunday Thimble Theatre strips that are at the Newark Museum but not in the catalogue. Running from April 26 through May 24, 1931, they depict Popeye in a boxing match, full of such Kirbyesque power. The sequence also demonstrates Segar’s visual inventiveness. At one point Popeye is hit so hard he sails into the air, and we follow his flight through a series of panels, as if they were successive framers on a film strip, until he lands atop a spectator in the audience. In another panel Segar deploys multiple images of Popeye to indicate the speed and ferocity of his punches. Segar also portrays the audience as a sea of identical round heads, creating a near-abstract effect.

Some Popeye strips on display also echo earlier parts of the exhibit. An enormous drawing of Eugene the Jeep hovers atop the panel grid of the Sunday, August 9, 1936 Thimble Theatre page (p. 209) like the moon with the man’s face in the December 3, 1905 Little Nemo (p. 176). There’s also a Sunday Thimble Theatre from August 23, 1935 (p. 205), which I’ve discussed previously (in “Comics in Context” #63), in which, to test Popeye’s love for her, Olive masquerades as a man (not difficult, considering her build) and claims to be her own suitor. Enraged, Popeye clobbers her. Dazed but happy, Olive tells herself, “He loves me,” as if she were Krazy Kat right after being hit by a brick.

Like so many cartoon characters, Segar’s are far more resistant to physical injury than real people are. For example, Popeye withstands a hail of bullets in an April 7, 1932 daily strip (p. 206). Even so, the comedic sadism in this particular Sunday strip is startling. In a daily strip from August 21, 1935 on display (but not in the book), Popeye has become “dictipator” of a small country but is disappointed that “Me sheeps”–his subjects–“ain’t got no sense.” As you can see, unlike the animated Popeye, Segar’s Popeye, as Feiffer notes, is “untamable”: though a hero, he has a violent temper and even a will to power.

At the Newark Museum I overheard one woman, who was looking at the Herrimans, comment to her companion, “Is this really for kids? Look at the vocabulary?” There are plenty of people who haven’t yet gotten the memo that comics aren’t just for kids. As Spiegelman told Time, maybe this museum show will help. We will continue making our way through “Masters” in next week’s column.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF
It’s here at last! DK Publishing has released its Marvel Encyclopedia, for which I was a contributing writer. Profusely illustrated in full color, it’s the perfect Christmas gift for any Marvel aficionado. Not only will you enjoy reading it, but it is so large and massive that you could use it for weightlifting exercises! A treat for both the mind and the body!

–Copyright 2006 Peter Sanderson

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #19: All Hallow’s Grimace

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:39 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #19: All Hallow’s Grimace – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with Halloween preparations, McDonald’s cuisine, and that same ol’ loveable banter.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #19 (MP3 format)

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SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Melonpool Quickcast #19: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Mayberry Melonpool!

Filed under: Melonpool Quickcast — admin @ 10:01 am
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-By Steve Troop

Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

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Mayberry and Roberta await a visit from The Great Pumpkin.

Don’t forget to comment on this and other Melonpool Quickcasts over at the official Melonpool Quickcast Forum!

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Melonpool Quickcast #19: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Mayberry Melonpool!:

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/27/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:15 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A rare color tour of the Fleischer animation studio. (Thingamabob)
  • When is a Full Metal Jacket only half full? (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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Trailer Park: How I Spent My Summer Vacation – My First (Paying) Writing Job

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:10 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

The story really wasn’t worth telling at the time.

It was spring of this year and I wanted to be able and cover the Phoenix Film Festival for what was then Movie Poop Shoot. It was a festival that was peppered with some solid films, LA MUJER DE MI HERMANO and HARD CANDY, and some that will go without mention and have since been shown for the turkeys they are. It was an exciting time for me, personally, because, as some of you know, I am a bit of a misanthrope. I don’t “get it” when it comes to needless schmoozing with those who would otherwise not even make it on my cell phone list of people I’d like to spend more time with if given the chance. I have an actual day job that is so remote from what I live to do, writing, that it would be damn near embarassing to confess what brings in the real money. It follows, then, that I don’t have the oppulent lifestyle that is so romanticized in movies where writers are always dressed like hip, yet sloven, nomads who are in a constant need of a shave and are usually brooding about their work.

I don’t brood.

I like what I am able to do and if that means being happiest when I can focus on my own work and not worry about getting the greatest exclusives all the time then so be it. Josh Holloway, Robert Patrick and even the latest Andy Dick pieces mean a lot to me because I was the one who accepted the opportunity and, here’s the kicker, there is nothing in my mind about how many issues the piece will sell. There’s no money involved yet, when I think about it hard enough, I know that there are brick and mortar office jockeys, of which I am one, that will never be able to ensconse themselves in their passion and I realize I’m lucky. I’m one of the few but, the other edge to that Ginsu knife is that…I don’t get paid.

Fast forward to last spring during the Phoenix Film Festival when I catch wind that Moving Pictures Magazine, a publication that’s closer to a Film Comment than it is a Premiere, not only has a presence here in Scottsdale, my city, but that they’re having a party to celebrate their involvement at the PFF.

I needed to be at that party.

I don’t know why I felt a surge, an urge, a desire to make a play at trying to make this game of rochambeau come out in my favor for once. There was a lot of drivel being spilled within the pages of modern film magazines and I knew that over two years of slugging it out within the confines of Internet journalism, where I learned interviewing by doing, where I learned how to exact information without attributing, where I hit every single deadline without exception and where I made sure every single letter, note, comment, complaint, inquiry and even churned out some good pieces every now and then. I wanted to be paid for something. I wanted to prove that I could run with those who did this for a living and even do it better. I had to convince someone and when, like manna from heaven, I not only was given the date and place of the party by a representative of the magazine who was at opening night but they gave me the name of the person in charge who could help me break through to the other side.

I can’t go through all the reasons why I didn’t make it to that party until roughly 10 minutes before the party was set to break up or how I managed to finally find that same represntative from Moving Pictures magazine after wandering around the restaurant looking for someone, anyone to talk to but I did. I found the rep and without so much as thinking twice I asked about who I needed to talk to for freelance work. This woman, this kind, kind woman literally planted me in front of the end-all, be-all for this magazine’s opportunites and I made my pitch. Fast.

I don’t remember much anything about it but I do recall being very open, honest, smiling a lot, eager, I may have begged a bit but I’m not too sure, confident, name dropped like I was a waiter delivering ball bearings while standing on a paint shaker, and it ended with me, I think, sending her a note to express once more my interest. While I know she told me about the limited range of writing about trailers, the magazine is a lot more than just a glib mo-fo like myself talking about flicks through their marketing and I understood that, I know that my work on Poop Shoot and now Quick Stop is akin to having a dude on a paper writing obitiuaries until his opportunity comes; except, with me, my obituaries sometimes help to make a movie seem more alive or assist with putting the nails on the pine box in which the flick should take a permanent dirt nap.

And that was it for a little while. A long while.

I was checking my e-mail after finally coming down off a rather obnoxious afternoon at the San Diego Comic-Con in July when I noticed my contact’s name. The e-mail, very matter-of-factly, stated that if I was interested Moving Pictures wanted me to write a small blurb about the CASINO ROYALE trailer.

After a lot of back and forth with paperwork, suggestions, some uncertainty on my part and the nagging feeling that I would be smited by some diety should I publicly announce that I have 75 words appearing in print I decided to sit on the information. It wasn’t until I stood in front of a magazine kiosk at the Borders across the street from where I work when it really came home that I had finally done it. I bought all five copies there and when I took them out in that plastic bag there was an internal satisfaction that I don’t think could be expressed in words; those who can understand what it means to be someone devoted to the printed word, would.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone out there, every reader who has helped to make a small comment here, a small high-five there, in making this possible. I wrote it, sure, but it wouldn’t have happened unless a guy like Chris Ryall saw something in me and let me run with whatever was in my head week after week. Certainly I also have to give thanks to my wife, Sherry who, while she has always been cool with me doing this column every damn week, is really the reason why I am able to take time out of my life every week to just give you people something to read. For her, I am eternitally grateful.

So, please, if it’s not too much to ask, go and get the magazine. Read the glory that is 75 words on page 17. Send the editor a message and tell them what you really think of this weasel’s ability to inspire so many rip-offs in other, lesser, publications like Entertainment Weekly. Or, if you’re just lazy, just check it out when you’re out and about inside a Barnes and Noble, Borders or even Blockbuster; it would be very meta for me to know someone from across the country was able to read my name in print. I’m even in the Contributing Writers section which just thrills me to no end even though most would just shrug and say, “whatever.”

And just to show you how the enduring positivity keeps on going, I decided to give you all out there the chance to enter into a contest where you could make a real dream come true for yourself….Peep the press release from Sony:

“INTERNSHIP CONTEST”

— Eight Winners To Be Offered Once-In-A-Lifetime Career Opportunity With Gap Inc., The Hollywood Reporter, Morgan Stanley, NBC, the National Football League (NFL), PEOPLE Magazine, Playstation & Yahoo
— Contest Winners to Attend Hollywood Premiere of Will Smith’s The Pursuit of Happyness

 

CULVER CITY, CA ““ October 19, 2006 ““ Columbia Pictures announced today it is partnering with eight of the world’s leading companies to offer The Pursuit of Happyness ‘Pursue It’ The Ultimate Internship Contest, in which contestants will compete for dream internships at Gap Inc., The Hollywood Reporter, Morgan Stanley, NBC, the National Football League (NFL), PEOPLE Magazine, PlayStation and Yahoo! In addition to the internship position, each winner also will win a trip to the Hollywood premiere of Columbia Pictures’ inspiring drama The Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith, Thandie Newton and Jaden Christopher Syre Smith. Winners will have the opportunity to meet Smith and enjoy the gala evening with the film’s cast.Based on a true story, The Pursuit of Happyness stars Will Smith as Chris Gardner, a marginally employed salesman who finds himself with nowhere to go after he and his five-year-old son (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith) are evicted from their San Francisco apartment. When Gardner lands an internship at a prestigious brokerage firm, he and his son endure numerous hardships as he struggles to create a better life for the two of them. The Pursuit of Happyness is the story of one father’s inspiring love for his son and his determination and drive to improve their future. “Chris Gardner, the person I portray in The Pursuit of Happyness is a bright, talented guy who’s barely making ends meet until he gets an internship that enables him to pursue his dreams,” said star and producer Will Smith.

Steve Tisch, one of the film’s producers and a co-owner of the NFL’s New York Giants football team added: “America is the land of opportunity, but to succeed in the corporate world everyone needs that first break, that foot in the door. The winners of this contest will get a unique chance both to learn about how great companies work and to demonstrate their own creativity, energy and determination.”

From October 18, 2006 through October 30, 2006 contestants can visit the contest Web site www.sony.com/Pursue-It and choose the company at which they would like to intern. As part of the online application process, entrants will need to create a video of themselves, in which they share, in five minutes or less, their own personal motto or “words to live by” giving examples of how this philosophy makes them uniquely qualified to work at the company they have chosen.

The leading candidates’ videos for each internship as determined by a leading human resource specialist will be posted on the contest website. The public will then be invited to vote for the applicant they believe is best suited for each position. Officials at each of the eight companies will interview the top two finalists applying for their respective internships and select the ultimate winners.

Contestants are encouraged to learn as much as possible about the company for whose program they are applying and to tailor their video presentation accordingly. Each of the internship programs has its own eligibility requirements which are posted, along with complete contest rules, at [www.sony.com/Pursue-It]

THE BRIDGE (2006)

Director: Eric Steel
Cast:
Kevin Hines, Pat Hines, Carolyn Pressley, Dave Williams, Matt Rossi
Release: October 27, 2006
Synopsis:
MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING SUBJECT MATTER. More people choose to end their lives at the Golden Gate Bridge than anywhere else in the world. THE BRIDGE offers glimpses into the darkest, and possibly most impenetrable corners of the human mind. The fates of the 24 people who died at the Golden Gate Bridge in 2004 are linked together by a 4 second fall.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. “MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING SUBJECT MATTER.”

I mean, really, how do you not click on the link after you see a disclaimer like this. It’s like seeing blinking lights that say “Danger!” “Warning!” in the middle of a black night that leads you right to the porno parlor you never knew existed until someone went out of their way to point it out to you.

I also heard about this movie based on the real intriguing fact that of those who have tried to jump to their deaths via the Golden Gate Bridge, and lived to tell about it, they all knew they wanted to end their miserable little existences going up to the bridge’s precipice, they all were sick of dealing with their own psychoses when they pushed off, they all wanted to die as they let go and they all knew they made a big, fucking mistake as soon as there was nothing to grab onto.

How do you not make a documentary about that?

The answer is “you do” and I couldn’t be more enraptured by the beginning of the trailer when you know, going in, that you’re a) going to be presented with “disturbing subject matter” and b) we are slowly let into what this movie is about.

The opening of the trailer is creepy. No question. You have a pretty simple sound bed but there is tension in that score. You can sense it.

Some kids are playing soccer, oblivious, right in view of this structure that has sent out the siren’s song to many who are afflicted by mental illness.

“People come here from all over the world.”

The simple piano suite, the shots from various places all over San Francisco with the Golden Gate somewhere in the shot and the absence of any hard narrative structure is killing me. It’s perhaps one of the best ways you can make a trailer say nothing, not incite my ire, and make me feel that I cannot look away from this thing.

Next, we get a woman’s voiceover. She tells us what kind of day it was without us really knowing why she’s recounting a singular moment when all seems to have been right with the world. That’s when we see video of someone starting to step over the railing and put their foot at the literal edge of the only thing standing between life and splat.

After that, another voiceover. This one comes from a guy who was doing some shooting of video when he sees, and we see, a dude hoisting himself over the railing.

You cannot look away. There is no way you can direct your eye off the screen.

“Is this a rare occurrence or does this happen often?”

What’s so compelling that after we hear that the Golden Gate is not only the San Francisco treat but it is the meal of choice for many, many people who think suicide is their only way out.

With that we see a wide shot of the bridge, completely still, the soft words of someone who has asked the question about the frequency of jumpers as we catch the “sploosh” of someone who let go of it all.

There’s something to subjects like this but the trailer not only sells the idea but it draws you in with enough scintillation to establish why this is a story worth telling and seeing.

HARSH TIMES (2005)

Director: David Ayer
Cast: Christian Bale, Freddy Rodriguez, Eva Longoria
Release: November 10, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: From the creator of TRAINING DAY comes HARSH TIMES, a gritty look at friendship, loyalty and ambition set on the extremely rough streets of south central Los Angeles. Jim Davis (Christian Bale) is an ex-Army Ranger recently discharged from the military, yet still haunted by nightmares of his former occupation. While seeking a position with the LAPD that will allow him to marry his Mexican girlfriend and bring her to the United States, Jim kills time chilling with his best friend, Mike (Freddy Rodriguez).

Mike is feeling the heat from his longtime girlfriend, Sylvia (Eva Longoria): either get a job or get out. But the love of a beautiful woman can’t compare to the bonds of friendship, and Jim and Mike are soon cruising the streets of South Central, slipping back into a deceitful life of drugs, violence and petty crime, just like when they were kids.

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Prognosis: Negative. The problem here is that I feel like we’ve been here before.

I don’t want to seem like someone’s not entitled to retread the same theme but this film’s not breaking any new territory, at least it’s not being sold that way, as it’s trying to dip its fingers into my pocket.

One of the things that first piqued my interest in this film is Christian Bale, a man who has really heralded his presence in a major way in the last few years, but you almost feel let down here when Freddy Rodriguez and he are talking inside a car about what it’s like to “straight up” kill someone. The physicality of the shot, the frenetic vibe you feel as Bale gets into a bombastic moment that feels packaged, not honest, is a Cut and Paste from TRAINING DAY and I’m not so sure if that’s such a good thing. Rodriguez’ question to Bale about whether he enjoyed the killing just doesn’t seem like a hook that sells. It’s damn near comedic.

I’ll give praise for the choice of music that rides the bed of what’s presented, as we’re flooded with images of scantily clothed chicas and the voice that this is coming to us via the creator of TRAINING DAY, but that’s as far as I’m going because what’s really at issue here isn’t the shot of a lady’s swaggering ass that’s needlessly given up for no reason, but it’s the story that’s not being put out.

What the hell is the point?

We’re nearly a quarter of the way through this trailer and all I know about what this movie’s about is that Freddy Rodriguez calls out to one of his friends “What up dawg?”, I get an additional shot of Eva Longoria’s ass in her thong underwear while Bale and Rodriguez sip beers inside their car as they’re driving to hell knows where. I would be a fan of all this if someone would just let me in on what’s going on. Unfortunately, not a shred of plot is revealed. It’s all parlor tricks up to this point.

Now, at about the half-way point of this trailer, I won’t even bother you all with the extraneous mish-mash of sliced scenes that are piled on in an effort to make everything look cool and hip, and let’s not forget edgy, can’t forget edgy in an effort to take hold of that key demo to get young men into the theater, but from what I can cobble together like some Da Vinci code clue hunt I think Bale has some temper issues and he’s being scrutinized for something or another. Ah, yes, here it is, the fat guy on the couch who is barely in focus let’s us know the crux of the whole fucking movie: Bale’s wanted for a task force that’s going to Columbia to bust some heads. And that’s it. End of explanation.

It’s when we get this information that the movie moves from a TRAINING DAY type of film to one more like 25TH HOUR. These two dudes, Rodriguez and Bale are homies and they just have a little time left with one another before one of them gets shipped south. I don’t see why this was such a production to get this information but from seeing Bale and Freddie get into a whole lot of fisticuffs with strange people to Bale having flashbacks like no one’s business I am at a loss to feel whether this is really even worth

seeing. All this movie seems to be about by the end is boozing, shootin’, lootin’ and Christian doing a whole lot of demonic laughing.

This film doesn’t seem to have a point and I’m inclined to make one for it by saying that this flick looks like it would do well going straight to DVD.

CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (2006)

Director: Yimou Zhang
Cast:
Jay Chou, Yun-Fat Chow, Li Gong, Qin Junjie, Man Lir
Release: December 22, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: The plot concerns the volatile balance of power between the King (Chow Yun Fat) and the Queen (Gong Li) and his three sons, which entails betrayal, deceit and passion, pitting the King against Queen and father against sons. The glorious canvas includes many of the creative team behind HERO and HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS.

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Prognosis: Positive Donkey Punch to the Gooch. The majority of you, I know, have already seen HERO and HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS.

These movies represent, really, the result of what happens when you have a satchel full of ideas and the means to execute them on a grand scale. Yimou Zhang is not a household name here in the States, for reasons that are all too obvious, but this man has bought more than his share of goodwill for those of us with money to spend. His direction isn’t flawless but for as many times as international directors are talked about with glowing regards it’s an anomaly as to why Zhang isn’t more well-covered.

Everyone else’s loss, our gain.

In fact, I would go so far as to posit that if Zhang were put through the same treatment as Ang Lee or even John Woo there would be a clunker in there somewhere and I’m not sure I would be ready to see what the result would be.

This trailer, as sparse as it is, just explodes with the kind of flavor that is lacking in so many other previews that have the opportunity to let their production value do its speaking for it. The first element that helps to shape the message of this movie is its melodic opening. While, yes, Virginia, there are going to be some hardcore ass whupings coming down the pike but before we get there it’s a very quiet opening.

The yellow just bursts against the grey skies in the palace courtyard with the guards and peasants that are at the ready to serve the needs for the King, Chow Yun-Fat. Yun-Fat, by the way, did get the same kind of Woo/Lee-ization much to the detriment for those of us who really did want the man to become accepted in the mainstream, but, thankfully, here there are nearly no remnants of the education that he do doubt got with Marky Mark on the set of THE CORRUPTOR.

I am pleased to see that, quite economically, the cards employed here to establish who Yimou Zhang is to everyone else in attendance are done with great tact and swiftness. No matter if they did run long because it’s about this time when Yun-Fat is about to be put upon by a cadre of 10 mo-fos with swords. But, boo-yaa, 6 mo-fos on Yun-Fat’s security detail slip down from the ceiling, all wearing ninja black, no less, and it looks like some serious sword play is about to go down. The colors, as well, are just gorgeous; from the red and gold all around the palace hallway to the lavish costuming of those in the moment it all just makes you forget that no one’s saying a damn word.

We get more of the same, stoicism from Yun-Fat and demureness from Gong Li, but what’s important to note here is that the full-on fighting that takes place with palace guards and those who are no doubt trying to usurp the King’s power base looks just as enthralling as it did in DAGGERS and HERO.

The armies fighting, the grand battles between individuals and the thick plot that underlies it all seem to be Zhang’s suit and it doesn’t look like there is any slacking on his part. While there isn’t any indication of any true direction of how the story is supposed to go but Zhang’s attraction here is the attention to the grandiose and mystical. Both are executed with great zealousness.

Weekend Shopping Guide 10/27/06: Over The Hedge

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

After his talk show went down in flames and was cancelled by the BBC, beleaguered king of the faux pas Alan Partridge finds himself with the last presenting job he can get – early morning DJ in rural Norwich. Separated from his wife, living in a travel lodge, and quickly running out of money, Partridge is desperate to get back on TV – even if it kills him (or anyone around him, including his even-more beleaguered personal assistant, Lynn). In the first series of I’m Alan Partridge (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), Steve Coogan injects even more uncomfortable pathos into his brilliant comic creation. The 2-disc set features all 6 episodes, plus in-character audio commentaries with Partridge & Lynn, audio commentaries with Coogan, writer Peter Baynham & writer/producer Armando Iannucci, deleted scenes, and a still gallery.

While Pixar’s Cars didn’t exactly float my boat, I really and truly dug Over The Hedge (Dreamworks, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP), about a group of animals who invade the suburbia that’s long been encroaching on their rapidly-diminishing woodland home, in search of food, glorious food.. Maybe that’s because – like Shrek before it – it wasn’t afraid to be out and out funny, which Pixar’s projects never seem to be able to sustain (or, granted, even try). Unlike Shrek, though, Hedge is a very nicely designed and animated flick – of course, it’s based on a comic strip whose art style I like a great deal, so it’s nice that they didn’t drop the ball in adapting it for CG. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes featurettes, Dwayne’s “Verm Tech” infomercial, and more.

On the master list of shows that simply must come out on DVD, the 1960’s iteration of The Addams Family (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) was near the top. Well, the wait is over, as get a 3-disc first volume of the disturbingly funny family, featuring 22 episodes, audio commentaries, featurette, original drawings, and photos. My one disappointment? That Fox – MGM’s new distributor – is the last company still using double-sided discs for their TV releases. Please stop.

You would think the comedic novelty of using off-the-cuff interviews with the British public (about a variety of topics) delivered by animated members of the animal kingdom would wear off, but the geniuses of both Aardman’s claymation and the (unknowing) interviewees themselves is still powerfully funny. If you don’t believe me, check out the complete second season of Creature Comforts (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.96 SRP) – featuring over 2 hours of episodes – and see if I’m wrong. The 2-disc set also features a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, an extended making-of, and the Christmas special.

While the second season the animated Justice League was a marked improvement from the rather stale premiere season, it wasn’t until the show morphed into Justice League Unlimited (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP) that everything finally gelled, and the quality of writing began to equal the heyday of the Batman and Superman animated series. Technically, the 4-disc “Season One” set features the 26 episodes that were aired as two independent seasons, but comprise an incredibly intricate and well-realized story arc rarely seen on what is ostensibly kid’s programming, with themes ranging from the overreach of government authority to homeland security. It’s an amazing storyline, and worth viewing in its unbroken entirety. Bonus features include a pair of audio commentaries (on “This Little Piggy” and “The Return”), a featurette on revamping the show in the transition to Unlimited, and audio tracks.

And while we’re on the subject of the animated DC universe, also available is the often underappreciated Batman Beyond‘s second season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP). What could easily have evolved into a gimmick – future Batman with a teenager behind the mask – instead became deeply woven within the already establish Batman: Animated mythos, and Terry McGinnis’ Batman never fell into the trap of becoming a teenage cliché. The 4-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus a pair of audio commentaries (on “Splicers” & “The Eggbaby”) and an in-depth panel discussion with the show’s creators (Paul Dini, Bruce Timm, Glen Murakami, and Alan Burnett).

Just in time for the release of Tim Burton’s stop-motion masterpiece in 3-D form to theaters all over the country, Danny Elfman’s soundtrack Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack (Walt Disney Records, $18.98 SRP) gets a 2-disc deluxe treatment, the centerpiece of which is the remastered original tracks themselves. The second disc features a clutch of largely negligible cover versions by Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, and Fall Out Boy, but is saved by a quartet of Elfman’s original demos.

They’re cotton candy confections, to be sure, but there’s an endearing joi de vivre to the 10 films that comprise the 12-disc Astaire and Rogers: The Complete Film Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) – Flying Down To Rio, The Gay Divorcee, Roberta, Top Hat, Follow The Fleet, Swing Time, Shall We Dance, The Barkleys of Broadway, Carefree, and The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle. Fully remastered and as sparkling as Fred & Ginger themselves, the discs are packed with vintage featurettes, shorts, cartoons, commentaries, and more. If that weren’t enough, there’s the feature-length documentary Astaire and Rogers: Partners In Rhythm, and a bonus CD of the sings from the films – Oh, and deluxe reproductions of photos and promotional materials from the Warner archives.

I promise not to turn this into a political statement, but with recent developments in Congress, I can only hope that people take a moment to watch a film like The Road To Guantanamo (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP). Based on a true story, it finds a trio of British flying to Pakistan for a wedding shortly after the 9/11 attacks. A spur-of-the-moment trip into Afghanistan is unfortunately timed with the US attack on al Qaeda, and the three men are captured and sent to the US military detention center at Guantanamo Bay. What happens to them there, and their eventual fate, I leave to the viewer.

Until I saw the breadth of Pete Townshend’s solo work via his newly-remastered sans-Who albums, I never realized how prolific he’s been. Those albums – which include an impressive selection of bonus tracks – include All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes, Deep End Live!, Scoop, Another Scoop, Scoop 3, White City, Empty Glass, Rough Mix, Who Came First, and Psychoderelict (Hip-O, $13.98-$22.98 SRP each). Also available is the DVD of Townshend’s Psychoderelict: Live In New York (Hip-O, $14.98 SRP).

I never really got into the Fox sitcom Greg the Bunny, but do think the indie film parodies that the puppet “cast” have been doing on the IFC Channel (along with meat puppet Seth Green) have been incredibly funny. Fourteen of those parodies are included in the 2-disc Greg The Bunny: Best Of The Film Parodies (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), along with audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a pair of featurettes, a gag reel, and photo galleries.

Join the crew of the deep sea submersible SSRN Seaview for more fantastical Irwin Allen adventure in the first volume of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea‘s second season (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features the first 13 episodes of the show’s sophomore outing, plus special effects footage and still galleries. My one complaint is that Fox insists on using the dual-sided discs that every other studio has abandoned. Come on, guys!

Without the work of Harry Smith, scores of folk tunes – many passed down from generation to generation – would most likely have disappeared from our collective cultural memory. A lifelong collector of the folk music of “old, weird America”, Smith’s work is a boon to us all – and is thoroughly celebrated by the 4-disc Harry Smith Project: Anthology of American Folk Music Revisited (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). The first two audio discs feature the amazing concert that brought together the likes of Elvis Costello, Nick Cave, Sonic Youth, and Garth Hudson to perform those old standards live, with disc 3 being a DVD of the concert in full visual splendor. The final disc features the documentary The Old, Weird America, which celebrates Smith’s project, plus bonus music selections.

Although they tend to be wildly uneven, I tend to enjoy the projects that present a series of Stephen King’s short stories in their original form (such as Cat’s Eye), as opposed to some of the failed attempts to expand a short story into a long film (granted, there are exceptions – such as Stand By Me). Having said that, it should come as no surprise that I mostly enjoyed TNT’s multi-part Nightmares & Dreamscapes (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), which adapted 8 short stories for the small screen (“Battleground,” “Crouch End,” “Umney’s Last Case,” “The End Of The Whole Mess,” “The Road Virus Heads North,” “The Fifth Quarter,” “Autopsy Room Four,” and “You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band”). The 3-disc set also sports behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, and more.

By golly, how I love the Dick York episodes of Bewitched (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). By comparison, the Dick Sergeant episodes are like watching a Bizarro version of the show – the magic (yes, pun) just isn’t there. Luckily, York was still around in the show’s fourth season, which also featured the regular line-up of favorites (even Uncle Arthur). The 4-disc set features all 33 episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Where’s the magic in that?

Pete Townshend isn’t the only Who alum getting the remastered treatment, with Roger Daltrey’s solo albums Ride A Rock Horse, One Of The Boys, and Daltrey (Hip-O, $13.98 SRP each) also available, each containing the requisite complement of bonus tracks to round things out.

It tries desperately hard to acquire the same kind of endearingly b-movie schlock, but Slither (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) can’t help but feel like – believe it or not – a poor man’s Tremors. Maybe that’s because it’s so self-aware of its low-rent cult aspirations, coming off as nowhere near as earnest as Tremors. Still, there’s something to be said for a flick about slithery unknown creatures besieging and devouring the populace of the stereotypical small town. Bonus features include deleted/extended scenes, an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a gag reel, and more.

I know I’m in the minority, but really and truly do not know what all the fuss was about Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was a poor red-headed stepchild of a riff off much better, much smarter, and much better realized material like Rushmore and Freaks and Geeks. It just left me cold. Regardless of my feelings towards it, though, I was at least intrigued by writer/director Jared Hess’s follow-up, Nacho Libre (Paramount, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). Once I found out that Jack Black would be starring as a Mexican wrestler, my interest was naturally piqued. Unfortunately, what I found was more of the same aimless, lethargic filmmaking that brought Napoleon Dynamite down for me. Still, it does have Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler, so there’s that. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, “Jack Black Sings!,” and more.

There’ve been a few odd episodic releases, but fans can finally lay their hands on the complete first season of Cartoon Network’s Ed, Edd n Eddy (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). The 2-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus an interview with the creator, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a look at how to draw Eddy, and promos.

While some despise their overblown bombast, I’ve always loved that over-the-top orchestral pretension that could only come from The Moody Blues. Two of their landmark albums – Days of Future Passed & In Search of the Lost Chord (Deram, $26.98 SRP each) – have been fully remastered , each containing a bonus disc packed with alternate mixes, demos, and B-sides. Nights in white satin, riding see-saws on a Tuesday afternoon – that’s some good listening.

You know, with a special appearance by Jermaine Jackson, it’s almost an embarrassment of riches in the third season of The Facts Of Life (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), but at least this is still the era of Charlotte Rae’s Mrs. Garrett. No offense to Cloris Leachman, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Rae.

The man who gave Q-Tips, rubber bands, and aspirin dozens of new uses wraps up his DVD run with the release of the seventh and final season of MacGyver (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Of course, as with any long-running adventure series, things went decidedly bizarre as it wound to a close, with not only a voodoo priest, but also a bit of time travel.

In the early 80’s, Nickelodeon’s programming day was stocked largely with shows acquired from abroad, such as You Can’t Do That On Television and Danger Mouse. One of the shows I used to watch was The Adventures of The Little Prince (Koch, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), the lone inhabitant of asteroid B-612 who learns how to hitch rides on passing comets and explore the far ends of the galaxy. The 4-disc set features 26 episodes from the series, and I can’t wait to show them to my little nephew.

I’ve never been a fan of the Mission: Impossible film franchise. It always struck me as far too gimmicky – like a poor man’s Bond – and the third installment in the series (Paramount, Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.98 SRP) dips even further into the recent Bond playbook, giving our hero Ethan Hunt an exploitable weakness in a wife (Michelle Monaghan) at the mercy of a sadistic arms dealer (a schizophrenic Philip Seymour Hoffman). And, I admit, Tom Cruise’s recent public lunacy played a pretty large part in turning me off to the flick – I just couldn’t take him seriously with visions of him couch-jumping like a madman dancing in my head. The 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary with Cruise and director J.J. Abrams, 9 behind-the-scenes featurettes (focusing on everything from special effects to the story development), deleted scenes, an interview with Cruise & Abrams, and more.

You can take your fancy-pants (and increasingly monotonous) C.S.I.s in all its procedural permutations – give me the BBC’s Waking the Dead (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), which focuses on the sleuthing abilities of the “Cold Case” Unit. Check out the complete first season set and see what I’m on about.

Okay, as a music fan, I definitely was swept up in Beat The Intro (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) – an interactive game containing over 3,000 questions based on song intros, lyrics, pics, and history. Yes, an hour had gone by, and I didn’t even know it. I did, however, kick ass.

Listening to Waylon Sings Hank Williams (YMC Records, $13.98 SRP), it reminds me just how much I miss Waylon Jennings as a performer and as a voice. Covering iconic Williams tunes like “Hey Good Lookin'” and “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,” the songs are unmistakably Jennings, elevating the already classics songs.

It was during the third season that already suspicious fans of The OC (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP) – following the declining quality of season 2 – had their worst fears borne out as the once-clever show seemed to be imploding into a mess of overwrought stories and annoying characters. Which is a shame, because it burned quite brightly in its first season. The 7-disc set features all 25 episodes plus selected-scene commentary, a featurette on “The Party Favor,” behind-the-scenes of the Subways video, “What’s In A Name?” featurette, and bloopers.

How about a bit of a Brit-TV round-up? Now available are the complete seventh series of the Britcom classic Only Fools and Horses (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), Monarch of the Glen: Series 5 (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), and the second series of Hamish MacBeth (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP), starring Robert Carlyle as the no-nonsense sheriff of small-town Lochdubh.

I’m no fan of the bloody horror pics, and even less of a fan of the goretastic sado-masochism found in the Saw franchise. But far be it from me to not at least acknowledge that there is a healthy (if somewhat unfortunate) fanbase for the twisted morality exercises of Jigsaw and his special puppet friend. Saw II: Special Edition (Lionsgate, Unrated, DVD-$26.98 SRP) is pretty much a rehash of the first Saw, with the obligatory increase in the blood and gore. The new 2-disc special edition features audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes documentaries, director Darren Lynn Bousman’s short film Zombie, a tribute to producer Gregg Hoffman, and the theatrical trailer.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

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October 26, 2006

Music For The Masses: October 26th, 2006

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:38 am
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Hello there, friends! Welcome back again!! How the hell are ya’? Me? Good lord… I’m more tickled right now than a D.C. page at a Mark Foley pool party. Okay… almost as tickled. But seriously… it really makes me giddy when I ask you fine folks for a little help and you jump all over the task like Madonna on a Malawi orphanage. Color me impressed, folks. Now, for those of you just tuning in, last time out I was having issues deciding on a kick ass Halloween costume so I decided to punt to you dear readers. And, in typical Music For The Masses fashion, I got EXACTLY what I asked for… and then some. BOY, AND HOW!!!! So, without further ado, I’m turning the spotlight on the winners of the Danny Elfman CD’s, in no particular order…

Dan L. from Burbank, CA, writes… and writes… and writes… : You could go easy and go as “Ask a Ninja”. That would be a trendy costume. I may do that, since I can do the voice pretty well and have the mannerisms down. If you want an easy costume, you could wear a big bow with a big gift tag that says TO: Women FROM: God. If that’s too cheesy for you or if you think you are the opposite of that, just change the tag to read, TO: The Women I don’t love FROM: God. It’s easy, doesn’t cost anything, and sometimes chicks think that kinda thing is clever and you get the hookups. Whatever…

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Or you could do what I did last year and go as a suicide bomber… but only if it’s a 90% Persian party. Which I did. Oh and I’m not Persian. I’m “Whitey McHonkey” pale. You see my buddy Al Queda (his name is Bobby, but hey, everyone needs a nickname) was hosting a costume party in the Hollywood Hills. He is Iranian but is the most “American” Iranian I’ve ever met. Anyway, he said that you couldn’t get into the party if you didn’t wear a costume. I’m not one for wearing costumes and I don’t like being forced to do anything. So I said fine, I’ll wear a costume. And, like I said, it was a party with about 150 people, 90% of which were Persian. And the pic above (I’m the one on the right) is what I wore. Needless to say I thought I was going to get stabbed, but that’s why I forced my friend to be one as well, in case I needed a human shield. It actually was a big hit at the party. The host’s mom came up and told me how she felt like she was back home. Crazy, right? And I lived to tell about it. Luckily, he isn’t having a party this year because the only way I could top what I wore last year is to come as Mohammad. And I kinda want to live past Halloween.

Holy shit, Dan. I’m sitting here right now thinking two things, three if you count a floundering joke involving the term “camel toe.” One, it must have been damn near impossible fitting that costume over your giant balls and two, who did you get to start your car for you when you left the party? BLAMO!!! Enjoy the CD, man. You more than earned it. Allahu Akbar!!

Christina Y., hailing from Aurora, CO and obviously confusing me for a member of MENSA, offers up two suggestions. The first, is to build a giant, 9′ 2″ fucking robot… yes, fucking…

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… with a little, motorized ant “driving” it…

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… powered by a circuit board that would make an MIT graduate’s asshole pucker.

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I greatly appreciate the vote of confidence here, Christina, but I couldn’t build this thing if I tried. If you’d have been paying closer attention, you’d know a couple of crucial things about me. First, I write the rough-draft of this column in crayon so I don’t hurt myself and second, my two most-favoritist things to do are playing “Sniff the Finger” and “Put Stuff On The Cat.”

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Good times… good times. Of course, Christina, you also recommended that I go as Elfman’s “Satan” character from the Forbidden Zone and that is ABSOLUTELY worthy of a CD, so… Enjoy!!

Jeff B. from Mesa, AZ, offers up a rather simple suggestion. “Go as a cock fighter,” he says. Interesting choice, Jeff. However, I will fully admit that I didn’t realize the enormity, length or girth of this idea until I opened the accompanying photo…

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That’s some funny shit, right there, Jeff. Good work. Very, umm… tasteful. Enjoy the CD.

Now, probably my favorite response is the one I received from Jim A. of Des Moines, IA. You see, Jim decided to completely ignore the whole point of this contest and just sent me his name, address and this picture…

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… which reminds me of a porno I picked up in the $6 bin at my local “Rub n’ Chub.” At any rate, enjoy the CD, Jim. I have no idea what the hell this has to do with anything, but what the hey. Oh, and Jim? I hear that if you take just a little peanut butter and slather it all over your… oh, who am I kidding? I’m sure you already know all this!! Have fun with Rover, there, tiger!! PETA will be contacting you shortly.

And last, but not least, is A.J. from Portland, OR, who writes… “Screw the fancy costumes, man. Pick yourself up a little kid’s Batman outfit. Trust me. . .the chicks will be all over you like old people on a buffet.”

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Speaking of being “all over the buffet” there A.J., considering that you have bigger tits than Anna Nicole, you may want to sit one out, know what I’m sayin’, playa’? I keed, I keed!! At any rate, considering that you look a HELL of a lot like Kevin Smith in Mallrats, you get a CD. “Fly, Fat Ass!! Fly!!!”

Well, there you have it, friends. And seriously, thanks to all of you who entered. Obviously, I can’t give you all a CD, but if you didn’t win, know this… I am reserving a special place in Heaven for each and every one of you who entered. Of course, the only seats I had left were “Obstructed View,” but what the hell… at least I’m not sticking you back by the shitters.

For the rest of you? Feel free to use any of these ideas for your Halloween costume this year. Me? Well, you see, this outpouring of creativity, or, in some cases, out-right thievery, has made me realize that I should just come up with my own costume idea, so… that’s EXACTLY what I did. Granted, dressing up as Spider-man is not the most “original” idea, but, I think you’ll agree, I was able to put my own “stamp” on it. .

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Pretty sweet, huh? I’m just praying it doesn’t get too cold on Halloween, otherwise, the “trick” will be on me and the only “treat” I’ll get is a frost-bitten “web-shooter.” BA DUMP BUMP!!!

But enough about all that, friends, for, even though it’s a REALLY slow time for new releases, we still have a few to check out including the new ones from Jeremy Enigk and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Also, we have a review from a pissed-off Record Store clerk and a chance for you aspiring artists out there to “Pimp Your Band.” Should be fun. So, what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we??!!

m4m-je-oct26 Artist: Jeremy Enigk
Album: World Waits
Bastard Love Child of: Sunny Day Real Estate and and the sweet, angelic voice of a little baby Jesus.
Best for: Taking a contemplative moment to wonder, “Seriously. . .What WOULD Jesus do?”

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The fact that Jeremy Enigk is NOT a household name is one of the great tragedies of our modern times. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it is one of the signs of the Apocalypse… right between the whole “raining frogs” thing and Paris Hilton’s popularity. Oh, by the way, speaking of Paris, I guess you can “hire” her for a $100,000 to host your New Year’s Eve party. Hmm… I wonder if a video tape of you and her having awkward, fumbling sex later that night is included? Either way, I recommend pocketing the cash and spending the evening with a 1X6 with a blonde wig stapled to the top. The conversation will be more lively, the night more fun and the sex… about the same… umm, from what I’ve seen. But I digress.

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Now, for the sake of those of you out there who have no frickin’, (yes, I just typed frickin’ in a vain attempt to “clean up my act”), clue as to who Jeremy Enigk is, let me briefly fill you in. He is the ethereal-voiced ex-lead singer of emo-core pioneers Sunny Day Real Estate (GREAT fucking band… yes, I just typed “fucking”… the attempt to clean up my act “didn’t take”), current lead singer of The Fire Theft (when he feels like it) and full-time, speakin’-in-tongues, rattlesnake-throwin’ Jesus freak. His favorite color is mauve, he has a Shitzu named Earl and he can break up a band faster than Yoko Ono. *Editor’s note: M.C. has no fucking clue what Jeremy’s favorite color is or if he even has a dog. He does, however, tend to break up his bands much like that evil harpy Yoko.*

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Jeremy also happens to possess one of the most uniquely impressive voices that I have ever heard and his last effort with Sunny Day Real Estate, The Rising Tide, with it’s swelling orchestration, impressive guitar work and, of course, Jeremy’s tremendous vocal range, is easily in my top 25 and, I would argue, a “must own” album. And many of those same elements, minus the meaty guitar work of phenom Dan Hoener, are present on this new solo album, World Waits. However, without Dan, the album never quite kicks out of the more mellow-melodic groove of Jeremy’s work with The Fire Theft. No, this is not a bad thing. In fact, as the tracks on this overly short disc progress, fans of Jeremy’s work and any of it’s various iterations will easily recognize elements from Sunny Day’s Rising Tide or Diary and The Fire Theft disc. And this really kicks ass. For you non-fans? Hmm… honestly, for the uninitiated, I could see Jeremy’s, whinny-at-times timbre irritating the holy hell out of you. I would recommend that you pick up The Rising Tide first to get acclimated to his sound (and because you should own it) and in a friendlier (read: more accessible) environment. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want a superb disc from an under-appreciated artist, grab a copy of World Waits and let it grow on you like a cold sore on Albert Pujols lip (Thanks HDTV!!). You won’t be disappointed.

To check out the best songs on the disc, minus the spooky-as-hell “Damien Dreams,” hit Jeremy’s MySpace page… www.myspace.com/jeremyenigk.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (only because it’s too damn short)

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Now before you get all discombobulated, I’ll clear one thing up for you, if you weren’t already in the know. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is NOT a rap group. Nor are the Gimmes considered hip-hop. In fact, they are pretty far from the genre that I have been primarily getting over the last few months. See the Gimmes are a punk band, but more importantly they could be considered a “Super Punk” band. The band consists of members of other perennial punk bands like NoFX, Swinging Utters and Lagwagon. You can think of them as the Damn Yankees of a new generation. But of course instead of “The Nuge” and a 50 year old guy from Night Ranger, you get a bunch of punk dudes. I think that it’s a fair trade all around. Oh and did I mention that the Gimmes are strictly a cover band? No? Well, they are.

Back with a fifth studio album, Love Their Country, is a collection of County-type songs done up all punk like. Normally I would shy away from anything having to do with country music, but if Me First and the Gimme Gimmes are involved, I will at least give it a listen. Love Their Country is not the groups best effort, but it’s not bad either. With songs like the Eagles Desperado and the Dixie Chicks’ Goodbye Earl, the band covers songs ranging from pseudo country to straight up, shit kicking, bull sexing country. None of the songs are bad, but there are only a few, like Goodbye Earl and Sunday Morning Comedown (Johnny Cash) that really stand out.

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The biggest gripe I have with this album is the length. Clocking in at just over 25 minutes, this disc should have a lot more music. Of course this is quite common in the punk side of the business, and the rap side as well, but it still doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I mean if I’m going to pay for a CD, I’d like to get my money out of it. I don’t think 25 minutes quite justifies my 18 dollar expenditure. It would be like if (or more commonly when) I pay a stripper for a lap dance and she leaves her top on till half way through the song. I mean it’s just not right!

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Anyways, Love Their Country is a good album especially if you’re a fan of that crazy punk music. If you’re a straight up country fan, I think you’ll want to stay away. But then again I think that if Garth Brooks threw more “fucks” into his songs, I could see myself giving him more of a listen.

Rating:3 out of 5

REVIEWS BY…

 

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Robb O.
“Dan’s New & Used CDeez” Employee

Man, I’m serious. You customers REALLY piss me off. Always coming up and asking, in your whiny, little voices “Do you have any Green Day? Do you have any AFI? Do you have any Panic! At the Disco?” Gahh!! Flavors of the day, people. Flavors of the day. All you pop music posers make me want to puke all down the front of my Shitz Londer and the Horror Babes T-shirt. I even told the owner, Dan, about how much you all suck and how little you know about good music, and that asshole wrote me up! Can you believe it? Probably a fucking Hinder fan. Seriously. All of you sheep wouldn’t know good music if it bit you on your pimpled, Lucky Jean-wearing asses. I cut my teeth on Springsteen, people. Ever heard of him? Now THAT’s music. Yeah. That’s right. Can’t make fun of him, can you? That’s why I kick-ass. How about Robert Johnson? That’s right, I know the blues, too. Uh huh. That’s why I rule and you drool. Ever heard of Beat Farmers? G Love and Special Sauce? Of course you haven’t. You suck. Seriously. From the giant, commercial tit. Just lapping up whatever the major labels throw at you. Damn! Wait till you leave the store, man. . .me and Steve are going to make sooo much fun of you, your ears are going to burn clean off.

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I’m not EVEN joking here… if one more person asks me about the new Sparta disc, I’m going to go postal. Seriously, idiots. Let Uncle Robb give you a little history lesson here since you suck. First, stupid jack-asses, I was into these guys way back when they were in At The Drive-In. Yeah. That’s right. Back when you were listening to Top-40 pabulum, I was into these guys. Hell, their first album came out right when I started here. Me and Steve were both like “Yeah! This is the shit!! This is so much better than all of that pop-crap, major label bullshit that our customers are always asking for! Yeah!!!” Of course, I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. I know you’ve never heard of them. But I have. That’s why you suck. Whatever. Let’s just suffice it to say that ATDI were the best thing to come out of San Diego since Rocket From the Crypt. Don’t worry. I know you’ve never heard of them either… because you suck. Like Sinatra said, “The money’s on the dresser.” No, I don’t know what that means, but screw you. I’m quoting Sinatra. You can’t do that.

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Look, time for me to take you to school here… try to stay with me if your tiny brains are able. At The Drive-In basically redefined music for an entire generation of bands, much like Morphine. True “artistes” in every sense of the word. When they disbanded, the world, this Earth and certainly what we humans refer to as music, got a little bit more opaque. No, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t matter. Like Morrisey once said, “Girlfriend in a coma, I know. It’s serious.” Yeah… stings, huh?

So anyway, idiots, the two most responsible for At The Drive-In’s true direction and intensity, Cedric and Omar (you know the guys that were in DeFacto before At The Drive-In? Of course you don’t), they formed the Mars Volta back when you were still listening to Brittany Spears and Matchbox 20. That’s right. I could school you like this all day long. All day long, man. Well, at least until my shift ends at 8. I thought I was going to have to close tonight, but Dan called Rick, so I’m cool. But, hey… I think I’ve already proven that, you pop-loving mongoloids.

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You dummies still with me? Yeah, well, the other At The Drive-In guys, the more “mainstream” guys, formed the sellout, “wannabe” shame Sparta. But of course you DO know this. You suck. That’s why you keep asking me for this album. After all, your masters at MTV and bullshit radio told you too. Sheep. If you had ANY taste at all, you’d be asking me for Fugazi. Whatever. Like pearls before swine. No, I don’t know what that means, but whatever. You suck.

Consider yourself schooled and if you’ve learned nothing else today, I hope you at least learned that you suck. In fact, don’t even bother coming into this store anymore until you get some musical taste like I have. Your taste in music sucks even more than the new Sparta disc. And no, I haven’t even listened to it, but I don’t have too ““ Sparta sold out. After all, how can they be good when they’ve had their souls ground up in the corporate machine?

Rating: -1000 out of 5

* Editor’s notes:

At The Drive-In is actually from El Paso, Texas”¦ not San Diego.

Rob actually liked the new Sparta until Steve made fun of him. Steve liked it until somebody made fun of him.

The new Sparta disc is actually quite good and a musical and lyrical improvement over their last disc (Rating 3.5 out of 5).

Records store clerks don’t know shit about music and are generally dicks.*

BAND OF THE WEEK!!!!

You know? In addition to MySpace being a GREAT place to meet a Dateline reporter, it’s also a great place to check out some new and unsigned artists. To honor these individuals and their art, I thought it would be cool to feature a band here each time out, sans any remarks or comments from yours truly. Consider this your place to shine. If you want you or band featured here, just drop me a line. Up first…

THE TASTYDACTYLS

Austin, Texas

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Website: www.myspace.com/thetastydactyls

Band Members:

Blake- Guitar/Vocals/Keys

Austun- Drums/Vocals/Train Whistle

Kyle- Keys/Synth/Samples

Big Blake- Rickenbacker Bass/Tamborine

Chelsey- Everything Else

Influences: Too numerous (and humorous) to list. Log on and see for yourself!

Sounds Like: “The Muppet Band re-mixed.”

CD Available? YES!!! Again, hit the web-site and check us out!!

Label: None… for now!

Message from the band: Big Blake- “The only thing I can tell you about us over and above what you can glean from our web-site is that we are a fun-loving group, a tremendous live act and that the three 19 year olds in the band all went to high school together. The original bass player “lost interest” AND, because they were practicing in my garage (guitarist has dated my daughter for almost 4 years), I chipped in, started popping the bass and helping with the song writing. In my humble opinion… that decision paid off in spades! Finally, we have a CD ready to ship to our adoring fans so… what are you waiting for?? Check us out!!”

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If you want your band featured here, shoot me an email at the link below!

Well, folks, that’s going to do it for me and the gang this week, so… until next time… keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send pictures of stuff on your cat, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:


M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/26/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:05 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Christopher Walken’s Three Little Pigs… (Thingamabob)
  • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
  • A little snippet of the brilliant QI, with a bit of a Halloween theme… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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