FRED Entertainment

WINSTON-SALEM – I got a bone to pick with James Franco. A few months back he was having auditions for a movie he was making near my country estate. I can’t remember the name or the real plot. All that mattered was that Emilia Clarke was supposed to be playing a stripper. That’s right, the Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones was going to be dropping her top to earn her money.

How could I let such an opportunity pass me by? I immediately decided to audition for the role of Tater, the assistant manager at the strip joint. This was the role I was born to play. I had been researching it for years. Every dollar I gave was to a stripper was to understand the character. It had nothing to do with carnal urges. It was all for art. So I put together an audition tape and had it ready to send to Mr. Oscar host. You will all agree that it shows off my thespian skills honed at the North Carolina School of the Arts when I studied with Danny McBride.

You must admit that this is the kind of audition that casting directors will be showing all their students as a way to hone their craft. The part was mine. I had already been pricing ski boots for Sundance. I was already imaging the tabloids going nuts with rumors of Emilia and my love affair. We’d be the next Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Although it’d more like them played by Lindsay Lohan and Mr. Fantastic in the Lifetime movie.

Then the fantasy died quick and swift. James Franco canceled the auditions and ceased any preproduction in Winston-Salem. It was over. My tangled affair with the Mother of Dragons had been nipped in the bud. My Cannes and Sundance awards stripped. What could I do? Well once they announced James Franco was their celebrity roast, I had a route for revenge.

The following are jokes that Carlos Mencia or Jonah Hill can steal for use on the stage. I don’t want your money. Just make sure if James Franco cries from shame, I get half of his tears.

James Franco, don’t’ think of this as a roast, but merely me trying to get back the 102 minutes of my life you stole with Your Highness.

James Franco, if you’re so famous, why aren’t you impregnating a Kardashian? Or is Bruce Jenner carrying your baby?

How does it feel to be the Jar-Jar Binks of Oscar hosts?

People think that you’re too young for such an honor. Well these people must not know that you started acting way back in the 20th Century.

In case you were wondering about the drug dogs sniffing you on the way in and agents who confiscated your party supplies, they weren’t DEA. It’s just how James replenishes his stash.

James Franco’s big breakout performance was playing James Dean. Now you look like a roll of Jimmy Dean sausage.

When James Franco came to Hollywood, he told his agent he wanted a role with balls. This led to an audition for the movie Castaway . James craved the role of Wilson. Sadly he lost to another airhead that let the producer blow him.

James, they canceled Freaks and Greeks 15 years ago so you can stop playing Daniel.

I was shocked when Freaks and Geeks got canceled. I was a major Geekazoid? Freaknick? I have such fond memories about how you almost hooked up with Angela. (Pause to realize wrong show.) That wasn’t your show? How about the time you opened a mall store with Mr. Belding? Not you? What about the time you and Dylan shaved your sideburns? You didn’t bootleg the Doobie Brothers concert with Rerun? Did you at least sing a Journey song?

It’s a shame Netflix doesn’t bring back Freaks and Geeks. You guys are still younger than the cast of Glee and all alive.

Anthony Jeselnik, I caught your show. Little did I know that James Franco has turned it into his latest film: As I Lay Dying.

Shame James Franco didn’t make William Faulkner’s Sanctuary. You’d make an Oscar-worthy corncob. (Wait a beat.) What? No Southern Lit majors in the house tonight?

(Stewardess comes out and offers James Franco a blanket and tiny pillow). The captain thought you might need these.

James, it’s great you brought your husband Seth Rogen to share this special occasion. What? You’re not married? Please. You two put Mr. Sulu and his husband to shame.

It’s not a bromance if you break out the lube.

When’s Milk 2 coming out?

James, you claim you’re not gay. But here’s a little test to determine your orientation. If you’ve ever wondered about the missing guy-on-guy sex scenes in Al Pacino’s Cruisin’ so much that you made a movie recreating them; you just might be not that straight. I learned that from Jeff Queerworthy.
James, Franco, I so want to blow you right now. I’m not gay. I just need the THC. I’m feeling nauseous as I think of your film career.

I don’t care if about your sexual orientation, but Andy Dick fears you cock blocking him in the bathroom.

When Pineapple Express came out, the critics called you the next Cheech and Chong. Really? You guys wish you were the next Rae Dawn Chong. (Pause.) What? No Commando fans in the house either?

What about your performance in Oz the Great and Powerful. You played a third rate talent with overinflated academic credentials out to con ticket buyers. Who said the hardest thing to do is play yourself?

Isn’t it ironic that you starred in Annapolis, the only college you’re not attending right now?
I was going to talk about your latest term paper, but…I…fell…asleep (snaps awake). The topic was “Why I’m an Exciting Person.”

Here’s a little SAT pop quiz. James Franco is to Judd Apatow’s Wit as Kermit the Frog is to Jim Henson’s… Fist.

A critic once said, “James Franco is Colin Farrell with a working shower.” Fooled him, didn’t you? James Franco proves you can make it in Hollywood without a comb and mirror.

James Franco understands what it’s like to grow up in the shadow of greatness. His grandfather’s Franco American! That means he gets paid every time you eat Spaghetti-Os. Sadly James receives no royalty when Andy Dick devours a beanie weenie.

Your co-stars from Rise of the Planet of the Apes couldn’t be here, but they sent you a special message. (Reach into rear pocket, pull out a fake monkey poop and fling it at James Franco).
James Franco claims he doesn’t smoke the evil marijuana. I told that to Willie Nelson and he said, (give big harsh exhale gasp).

(Person comes out dressed up in graduation gowns.) Diplomas for Mr. Franco! Diplomas for Mr. Franco!
It’s nice to know that an Oscar nominated serious actor views being roasted on Comedy Central is a great career move. You remember in the past when we roasted Streep, DeNiro, Pacino and Olivier? You now share an honor given to Pam Anderson, Hasselhoff, Shatner and Larry the Cable Guy. The good news is that you, James Franco have just punched your ticket for a Lifetime Original Movie: James Franco in The Amanada Bynes Story!

James likes to give back to the thespian community, but is very humble about it. He was the acting coach in Sharknado for the Hammerheads.

James Franco, who can forget your time on General Hospital? Now I feel guilty for reminding that person who was able to block out your time on General Hospital. Forgive me, Aunt Gertude!

We did our best to keep this a surprise, but I was able to arrange a little reunion with a special acting partner. Do you recognize this voice? (Silence.) Oh well. Let’s bring ’em out. (A girl comes out holding rubber right arm). He’s been extra busy working on hosting ESPN’s upcoming “One Armed Bandits Tourney.”

When you were making 127 Hours, did you start jerking off with your left hand in case you accidentally cut off your right arm?

When you made the low budget Spring Breakers, were you paid in grills or nookie?

James Franco is funding his next movie using Kickstarter. Shame you didn’t set up a Kickstarter so movie critics could donate to get you acting lessons.

James Franco was in the big hit Spider-Man. Proving he’s got a big brain, James can tell the difference between Tobey McGuire and Elijah Wood.

I’d say you’re a good sport for sitting through this, but I suspect you’re napping.

Feel the burn, James Franco!

SETH IS EVERYWHERE

Before he takes over the Late Show desk, Seth Meyers is sending fun to the computer on your desk. Here’s another installment of his series The Awesomes. You can watch other episodes on Hulu.

SCREAM IT OUT

This month brings three positively freaky Blu-rays from the fine folks at Scream Factory.
Dark Angel is best known in America as “I” Come In Peace. At least that’s how I remember the VHS box at Phar-Mor’s video rental section not to mention the kickass commercial that ran constantly on the late night slots for a month back in 1990. An alien arrives on Earth so that he can use humans to create a special drug. The supersized invader attacks with a flying circular saw blade that won’t stop till heads are popped. There’s only one man that can save the world from this menace: Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV). Of course Dolph can’t do it alone. He gets stuck with Brian Benben (Dream On), an uptight FBI agent who won’t bend the rules. The duo get minor assistance from an intergalactic cop played by Jay Bilas. That’s right, the former Duke basketball player and current ESPN commentator is an alien! But don’t get too attached to him. Dolph is amazing as the Houston cop who is out to kill the alien that waxed his previous partner. He’s brute force and yet has those touching intimate moments with his coroner girlfriend (Betsy Brantley). The movie is pure buddy cop kick ass greatness with exceptional stunt scenes for a low budget flick. The big bonus feature is interviews with director Craig R. Baxley, Dolph Lundgren and Brian Benben. They recount so much from their sci-fi buddy cop days on the streets of Houston. They almost seem ready to make a sequel. The Blu-ray transfer brings out the end of the ’80s colors and hairstyles. Jan Hammer did the soundtrack to give it a Miami Vice flair. For those who prefer to call the film “I” Come In Peace, the jacket is reversible with the classic VHS artwork.

Q The Winged Serpent brings together the finest elements of a monster movie and a ’70s New York City cop drama. What more can you want in a pair of buddy cops than Richard Roundtree (Shaft) and David Carradine (Kung Fu). The duo seem to be working on two different cases in Manhattan. Someone has been popping the heads off skyscraper window washers. There’s also another killer peeling the skin off their victims. Little do they know that the two might be tied together. Turns out there’s a winged lizard thing flapping around the Big Apple and dining on the denizens. Why is it there? You’ll have to ask the mysterious Aztec cult. Michael Moriarty is a small time crook who discovers the creature’s nest in the top of a building. He wants to use this information to go straight or at least get a fat reward if the mayor will play ball. Candy Clark (The Man Who Fell to Earth) is Moriarty’s girlfriend. Director Larry Cohen (It’s Alive) gives just the right tough of horror to a cop flick. The Ray Harryhausen-esque animated monster is a more solid special effect than anything in Sharknado. Even though the legendary Samuel Z. Arkoff produced the film, it was released after he sold American International Pictures. The distributor who picked up the film couldn’t give it the AIP magic. Q has a cult following thanks to write ups in ReSearch magazine. This Blu-ray ought to bring more people the joy of Aztecs unleashed on the Big Apple. Cohen provides an audio commentary which details his sneaky ways of shooting in Manhattan without permits.

Double Feature: X-Ray & Schizoid delves into why doctors and psychiatrists can be bad for your health. The two films were originally put out by Cannon films during their glory days. X-Ray sends Barbi Benton to the hospital to review her test results. You think sitting in the waiting room is murder, she’s got to deal with a homicidal maniac in the doctor’s office. He’s killing the staff as he isolates her deeper and deeper into the decrepit hospital building. Why? Is this the psycho who killed her friend nearly 20 years before? Or has a new nutjob found her? Barbi Benton is best known for being Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend when he was making the West Coast version of Playboy After Dark. This was back when Hef wasn’t only dating blonds. She does get to strip down during one scene. This film is supposed to be a horror flick, but there’s enough comic elements to make it seem like a spoof of slasher films. The killer wears a doctor’s mask that keeps going in and out like he’s blowing bubbles. An interview with director Boaz Davidson lets him confess that he wasn’t much for scares since his biggest hits were comedies. As a spoof, X-Ray is hilarious. Schizoid scares you right off the bat with the idea of people seeing Klaus Kinski (Aguirre: The Wrath of God) for mental help. That’s just seriously wrong. Things go wrong for members of his all-female group therapy session. Someone is killing them and teasing a local reporter with the murders. Among the suspects is Christopher Lloyd (Taxi. It’s a fun little piece about the harsh penalties for missing your sessions with the shrink. The bonus feature is Donna Wilkes remembering her time with Kinski. There’s a DVD with all the stuff on the Blu-ray in case you want to watch the movies while waiting in the doctor’s office.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Double Feature The Hot Spot & Killing Me Softly take us back to those thrilling days of erotic murders. This twin title gives us a trio of dazzling beauty of Heather Graham, Virginia Madsen and Jennifer Connelly. The Hot Spot is a film noir from Dennis Hopper. Don Johnson is a drifting kinda a guy who arrives in a hot Texas town. He quickly lands work as a car dealer. He knows how to sell the undercoating. He likes to tease office girl Connelly. But he’s got his hands full with the dealer’s frisky wife. While he likes the ladies, he’s fixated on robbing the local bank. He dreams of being able to pull off the heist and hit the road with his favorite gal. But can he really get his wishes? While Killing Me Softly isn’t nearly as good, it does feature Heather Graham (Boogie Nights) stripping down and getting wild with Joseph Fiennes. This is the unrated cut of the movie so you get all the goodness from her having fun with scarves. This is why I upgraded to Blu-ray. You get to see Jennifer Connelly and Heather Graham in their prime giving it a Cinemax After Dark worthy performance. Here’s the Italian version of the trailer so you can feel sophisticated.

The Borgias: The Final Season wraps up the tale of Pope Alexander VI and his cutthroat family. This wasn’t supposed to be the wrap up season, but that’s just the way it worked out since the ratings on Showtime weren’t quite Game of Thrones or Tudors level. The season starts off with the Pope recovering from a poisoning. Catherina Sforza is ready to finish off the family, but daughter Lucrezia must rise to the challenge since her brothers are busy. The Pope puts on a grand inquisition against the College of Cardinals. He’s not trusting anyone anymore. Why should he? One of the Cardinals steals a large amount of cash from the Vatican bank and covers his tracks by torching the vaults. The final episode does seem a bit like an ending with a family unification on the horizon. It was a good series and it’s a shame that it didn’t get the proper ending. Unlike Deadwood, fans won’t have to guess how it was going to end. The script for the unproduced two hour finale movie has been adapted to prose and can be downloaded as an e-book. The Blu-ray brings out the rich production values in massive sets and equally massive wardrobe. The bonus features include Borgia Bloopers and the first episode of Ray Donovan.

Graham Parker & The Rumour: This Is Live is the complete concert the reunited band played on the set of Judd Apatow’s This Is 40. Parker and his band are the natural rivals to Elvis Costello and the Attractions. While Elvis sported the nerdy glasses, Graham went cool with sunglasses to show he was serious business. Both were talented and gained a cult following. Parker busted up the band for a true solo career in 1980. The subplot about Paul Rudd’s character trying to reunite and revive the Rumour was like the only part of This Is 40 that I wanted to see, but supposedly the moment was rather swift in the film. But now you can enjoy the nearly hour long set without being distracted by Paul Rudd on the toilet. Graham and his old bandmates are in fine form after taking off over three decades. The set includes the classics “Local Girls” and “Protection.” The big focus is their reunion album Three Chords Good which sound as fine as their older material. It’s great to be able to enjoy the only great thing to come out of This Is 40 without getting bogged down in a plot. Did Apatow fake a whole movie so he could film this concert?

Star Trek Enterprise – Season Two finally brings the Klingons and Romulans to the series that imagined a time before Kirk was captain. The man who runs this early version of the legendary starship is Captain Archer (Quantum Leap‘s Scott Bakula). His science officer is the Vulcan T’Pol (Jolene Blalock). For the second season Rick Berman and Brannon Braga contribute to a lot of scripts. Season opens with “Shockwave, Part II.” Can Archer get back his ship from the Suliban? “Carbon Creek” is another time early space travel history. This time we learn of Vulcans that ended up roaming around the Earth during the 1950s. This could have been a great Happy Days crossover episode like when Mork tried to abduct Richie. “Minefield” introduces the Romulans to the humans. Sadly it’s because the Enterprise gets stuck on a cloaked Romulan mine. Can they escape unscathed? “Dead Stop” spoils that adventure since now Archer must repair the damaged ship. “A Night in Sickbay” makes Archer go nuts while waiting in the hospital unit. They must not have Angry Birds in the future. “Stigma” has T’Pol catch something that other Vulcans must avoid. This might ruin her career. Captain Archer gets busted by the Klingons in “Judgment.” He’s put on trial of conspiracy. Better call Saul! “Regeneration” defrosts the Borg that have been trapped in Arctic Ice. “Bounty” has the Klingons offering a price for the return of Archer. “The Expanse” pits the Enterprise against an alien probe that’s already killed millions of Earthlings. They better save the Earth else how will Kirk live? The 26 episodes are spread over 26 Blu-ray discs. The bonus features include Commentary by Michael Sussman and Phyllis Strong on “Dead Stop” and “Regeneration,” Text commentary by Michael Okuda and Denise Okuda on “Stigma” and “First Flight,” Enterprise moments: season 2, Enterprise profile: Jolene Blalock, Levar Burton: Star Trek director, Enterprise secrets, Inside “A Night in Sickbay, Outtakes, Photo gallery and Deleted scenes. This was the second of four seasons that ran on UPN. Remember that network? Oddly enough while it was a short run for the show, it was still longer than the original Star Trek.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls turns Twilight Sparkle and her pony pals into humans. Not just humans, but teenagers in high school. This movie had a weekend release around the country a few months ago. The Blu-ray brings the fun home including a documentary about the movie, plenty of Karaoke action and a way to make yourself into a pony. There’s also a DVD and digital copy in the boxset. I can try to explain the movie, but I’d rather let a four year old girl breakdown what she liked about the film.

DVD SHELF

Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk features the battle of the century between the Clawed Wonder and the Green Machine. The six part comic book caused a sensation with the no holds barred battle that lived up to the title. Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof puts two of the toughest comic book superheroes against each other without any pity shared between the two. Artist Leinil Francis Yu and colorist Dave McCraig bring the carnage to your eyes. Luckily their work is transformed by the Marvel Knights Animation process to put their dynamic comic book panels into motion. You can tell right away that this battle isn’t going to be a disappointment since it opens with Wolverine missing his legs. It seems that the execution of the Hulk by S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn’t that effective. Nick Fury hires Wolverine to track down and exterminate the Hulk one more time. Can he pull it off? This is better than Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat. Hard to imagine a live action version being a blissfully brutal as what’s achieved in this animation of the original comics.

Perry Mason: Season 9, Volume 2 brings to an end the classic black and white legal series that still gets plenty of play after over half a century. Perry Mason (Ironsides‘ Raymond Burr) gets his final 15 cases. This would be the end of his time with Paul Drake (William Hopper ) doing his legwork and almost the end of Della Street (Barbara Hale) working the desk. D.A. Hamilton Burger ( William Talman) must have been thrilled to no longer get slapped around in court each week. It’s just a shame that Lt. Drumm (The Six Million Dollar Man‘s Richard Anderson) didn’t last long enough to get a pension. “The Case of the Midnight Howler” features Daniel J. Travanti (Hill Street Blues) as an out of control late night disc jockey. He was an early Howard Stern. “The Case of the Sausalito Sunrise” makes a suspect out of Allan Melvin (Sam the Butcher on The Brady Bunch). “The Case of the Twice Told Twist” turns on Victor Buono (King Tut on Batman). Perry’s car gets stripped for parts. “The Case of the Unwelcome Well” gets pumped up by James Best (Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on Dukes of Hazzard. “The Case of the Crafty Kidnapper” makes me suspect Gary Collins (PM Magazine) and Cloris Leachman (Young Frankenstein) are in cahoots. “The Case of the Final Fade-Out” is a proper ending when there’s a murder on a TV set. Perry has to interview all the various tech positions on the set. Turns out all these people interviewed are longtime workers on Perry Mason. There’s a little goodbye star power with Dick Clark (American Bandstand), Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) and Jackie Coogan (The Addams Family). After 19 releases, the golden age of black and white Perry Mason is now available on DVD. This is a DVD shelf unto itself. There’s no news about the 26 made-for-TV movies that Raymond Burr made from 1985 until his death in 1993. But this should not be the end of Perry Mason.

Family Ties: The Seventh and Final Season brings to an end the Keaton family’s saga. No longer would the 80s have Alex P. Keaton(Michael J. Fox) to idolize. Although Fox would finally have time to focus on creating the greatness that was Doc Hollywood. Alex is still dating a pre-Friends‘s Courtney Cox on the show. Nick (cool guy Scott Valentine) remains attached to Mallory (Justine Bateman). “Heartstrings” is three episode focused on Steven (Michael Gross) having a heart attack. His doctor is Phillip Baker Hall (Boogie Nights). Is dad going to survive to the final episode? “”Til Her Daddy Takes the T-Bird Away” brings back ’90s sexiest man alive Dan Hedaya (Clueless) to play Nick’s dad. “Alex Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” brings the show to a close with the oldest son finally out of college and taking his first job. He can’t live at home anymore so it’s a lot of tears and memories as he packs up. Thus as the ’80s drew to a close, a light went out in the Keaton’s house.

Rapture Palooza is a twisted tale about what will happen to those stuck on the Earth after the good folks are raptured up to Heaven. Like another End Times movie, this film stars a cast member of Freaks and Geeks. It’s John Francis Daley as a bigger dweeb. The good part about bring left in the post-rapture world is that he’s still got his girlfriend Anna Kendrick (Up In the Air). The bad part is Anna is still a virgin and won’t change even with the Anti-Christ (Hot Tub Time Machine‘s Craig Robinson) now in charge. And the Anti-Christ has his eyes on banging Kendrick. Can Daley keep his lady pure? Can the Anti-Christ be anymore gross when he woos her? Also along for the apocalyptic fun is Rob Corddry (also Hot Tub Time Machine), Ana Gasteyer and Thomas Lennon. This is the perfect film to scare the Holy Rollers out of the living room. They cast Ken Jeong as God. Can anything be more scary? Corddry and Robinson crack each other up on the audio commentary. They also have a documentary, gag reel and deleted scenes. It’s just a fun way to imagine the end of the world.

Alyce Kills needs to be seen just for the performance of Eddie Rouse. I’ve worked with Eddie in the past on various project in Winston-Salem. It’s been nice seeing him pop up in major films such as American Gangster. Now he has a big role that allows him to dominate the trailer as the voice. Plus he got to work with Tracey Walter (Repo Man). He’s gets wrapped up with Alyce (Jade Dornfeld). She goes out for a fun night with her friend (Tamara Feldman). The fun stops suddenly when she pushes her friend off the side of a building. Luckily the friend survives, but Alyce loses it all with a massive paranoid fit. Sadly Eddie isn’t part of the cast interviews. The behind the scenes footage is shocking when you see how the movie was filmed. The days of renting the big package from Panavision is over. The only excuse you can have for not making your own horror film is a lack of friends who want to be killed. Luckily director Jay Lee had the smart idea to get to know Eddie Rouse.

Emperor delves into a time when General Douglas MacArthur had few rivals on the face of the Earth. MacArthur(Tommy Lee Jones) is set with the task of deciding how involved was Emperor Hirohito (Takataro Kataoka) when it came to Japan’s role in World War II. Culturally this is a tense time since at that point, the Emperor of Japan was considered a God on Earth. The fact that MacArthur is placing judgment on a God almost comes close to the military leader’s view of himself. General Fellers (Lost‘s Matthew Fox) is given the heavy work of finding the evidence. Will MacArthur put a God to death? The movie explores the remains of Japan after its surrender to the allies. It’s a find performance from Fox as the snooping general who actually has to work and not merely review troops. A fine film to watch with your dad on a rainy Saturday.

CatDog: The Final Season wraps up the Nick animated season that really brought together Billy West (Ren and Stimpy) Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants) and Carlos Alazraqui (Deputy Garcia on Reno 911). Kenny and Jim Cummings give voice to creature that is half cat and dog. They’re a truly odd couple with the ability to more than run in circles chasing their tale. These are the final 8 seasons that ran during the fourth season it aired on Nickelodeon. “CatDog and the Great Parent Mystery” is their quest to find out how they were born. They track down their parents that turn out to be a frog and bigfoot. But there’s still no reason why they were born so weird. “Cat Gone Bad” has the Cat wanting to hang out with the cat neighbors that are beyond annoying to his Dog half. The show ended with “Meat Dog’s Friends” where Dog discovers where the stuff in his bowl comes from. He’s not sure if he can eat anymore knowing it could be his animal friends. The show is still a hoot after almost a decade off the air.

Care Bears: A Belly Badge for Wonderheart: The Movie is 65 minutes of the new CGI Carebears that airs on The Hub. Wonderheart Bear is eager to join the Cub Bouts. The only thing holding him back is the fact that Belly Badge isn’t considered active. She does what any kid in such a position does: fakes it. In this case she gets fake powers through a misplaced wish. Naturally this leads to a major disaster. She becomes the subject of an Amber Alert by ending up on top of a mountain during a severe weather event. This is not a good thing. Will she survive? Will she learn a lesson? Will there be musical moments to express the morality lesson? Of course, this is Carebears and not a Werner Herzog documentary. The bonus features are two music videos.

The Princess Twins of Legendale is from the people behind Lalaloopsy. Princess Dawn wants to live in a kingdom that lets the sun set once and a while. She conspires to visit the Forbidden Night World. This is an extremely dangerous voyage since the great divide between these spaces involves an evil sorceress. She discovers that she has a twin sister on the other side. Her name is Eve and has the same taste in music which makes them great for sing-alongs. The two royal sisters fixate on a plan to reunite the kingdoms so they can share in night and day action. The movie kept my preschooler happy for a while. The big bonus is five episodes of Bratzillaz. There’s more brat action in that show than tailgater at a Chicago Bears games.

LIZARD LICK — Bob Dylan spent 300 pages in his autobiography doing his best to prove that he wasn’t the voice of a generation. Sure he wrote “Blowin’ In the Wind,” but he’s not eager to claim counter culture icon status for the uprising of the Sixties. According to his book, he’s just a guy who plays a guitar and words come out of his mouth. On the other hand, Weird Al Yankovic can’t back away from being a true voice of a generation. Granted he represents a generation of smart asses, pop culture fiends, and adult-children who swear they know the real lyrics to a hit song. But we need a voice and it isn’t Chris Hardwick.

Weird Al was coming to town, but not for his usual blow out concert. He was appearing one night only at Raleigh’s Quail Ridge Bookstore to sign his latest tome: My New Teacher And Me (illustrated by Wes Hargis. Even with a massive summer storm approaching, the bookstore was crammed with fans of all ages eager to meet the man behind “Eat It,” “Fat” and “White and Nerdy.” Even after 33 years, Weird Al is not a nostalgia act. He’s still cranking out the hits without even spoofing a specific song. He was able to take a Doors sounding riff to create “Craigslist.” The late Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek’s brought the groove to the production.

This was my second chance to meet Weird Al. A few years back I’d seen him and the band live in Durham. After the show, my brother and I ended up passing his tour bus. We hung out a little bit waiting for him, but my brother said he needed to get home since he had to wake up early to get to his real job. We left. An old film school buddy met Al and posted the pic on Facebook. My brother got to wake up early, drive to work and promptly get laid off. My brother didn’t want to come with me to the book signing for fear of history repeating itself with his new job. But I was there and at the front of the line.

Originally I had planned on asking a few questions of Al on camera. But while standing there in line, I kept thinking of that jerk producer that does ambush interviews for Bill O’Reilly. Why would I want to be a prick like that to Weird Al? I heard Weird Al’s “Yoda” when it was only airing on the Dr. Demento Show. Weird Al has been a part of my life for at least 33 years. As I got closer to his signing table, it became obvious that there wasn’t much to ask Weird Al since we both know the answers. It would be nice to know which of the Barkers Beauties he dated in the ’80s. But he’s a gentleman and would never tell – unless there was video leaking. So when the time came to meet him, I gave him signed copies of my books “Quotable: The Most Inspiring, Uplifting, Comforting and Universally Beloved Words From Ann Coulter” and “Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters.” It’s a book signing, why shouldn’t someone sign something for him to take home? Then I told him the story of my brother getting laid off. It’s all heartwarming. A nice person videotaped the encounter for posterity. This is the most exciting minute of video that doesn’t feature a cat frowning.

The day after the signing, Weird Al tweeted the number of the payphone next to him at RDU airport so he could chat with folks. Weird Al is more than merely the spokesman of a generation, he’s also the listener of a generation. The Kennedy Center better honor him next year.

SUBMIT TO FULL FRAME

The fine folks at the Full Frame Documentary film festival have alerted me that it’s almost submission time. So get that non-fiction film about the history of historical stuff ready for showing. Here’s the deadlines in case you need more time to make it presentable.

2014 Call for Entries:
Regular Deadline / August 15 – October 15 / $40 Fee
Late Deadline / October 16 – December 6 / $60 Fee
For additional information or clarification of rules, please contact submissions@fullframefest.org.

JFK VS. THIS GUY

Scott Calonico’s You Can’t Always Get What You Want short film featuring LBJ’s phone calls was a hit at the last Full Frame Documentary Film Festival. Now he’s back with a more involving production where he goes behind JFK’s telephone rant about a bedroom set up at an air force base. Here’s the teaser that explains it all and wants me to see the rest of the story:

And here’s me and Scott talking at Full Frame about You Can’t Always Get What You Want. He previews the JFK project.

VINEGAR TIME

Punk Vacation (Blu-ray + DVD) reminds us of those trouble punk kids could be in the 80s. A small California town in the desert east of Los Angeles gets uninvited guests. Turns out a bunch of punks on motorcycles have arrived looking for kicks. They’re all made up with nowhere to go outside of the local general store. When Rob Garrison (The Karate Kid gets ripped off by a soda machine, he goes full Cobra Kai. This leads to the store owner coming out with his shotgun to nip it in the bud. The mess goes out of control. Garrison ends up caught by the man. His punk friends don’t like it. The very hot in her make up Ramrod (Roxanne Rogers of 976-Evil) won’t cut and run. There’s a full out war in the town between the locals and the punks. Strangely enough it’s the locals that come off looking really boring as they attempt to put down the punk rebellion. This movie didn’t have that much national play or attention. Truly worth rediscovering as the genre of punks shooting it out with locals is very thin. A bonus feature on the DVD is Nomad Riders which was made around the same time by producer Stephen Fusci. The transfer was lifted from a videotape so it’s not quite as detailed. But the outlaw biker film is as entertaining as Punk Vacation. It has a Miami Vice synth score to make the action feel smoother. Fusci does a video interview to give context to his two productions. There’s also plenty of still photos from the shoots. A fine double feature to enjoy with your Harley nearby.

Drive-In Collection: The Vixens of Kung Fu & Oriental Blue are two New York based adult flicks that attempted to cash in of the Kung Fu craze of the early -70s. They must have been playing in Times Square next to The Chinese Connection. Both movies feature the talent of the edgy Jamie Gillis. Judging by his haircut, Jaime made these movies on the same weekend. Both films were directed by Bill Milling. The Vixens of Kung Fu opens with a hooker (Bree Anthony) being attacked by a group of guys including Jaime. She’s found by members of a Kung Fu group living outside of New York City. They help her recover and teach her the secrets of martial arts. When she’s fully recovered, she’s ready to reclaim herself. She also learns Asian erotic secrets to help with her day job. There’s a lot of nudity in the woods as the cast fights and gets down. Oriental Blue plays up the concept of human trafficking with an Asian flavor. Peonies Jong (The Vixens of Kung Fu) has a more involving role as a Dragon Lady hired to kidnap various girls for an international prostitution syndicate. Her main man to find the talent is Jaime Gillis. Jong has the secret formula that turns them from victims into willing sex slaves. Gillis gets on her bad side when he doesn’t want to turn over one of his recruits. It doesn’t end pretty which seems the norm on the semi-roughie adult features. The guys at Vinegar Syndrome have once more done a fine job at color correcting two very incorrect feature films.

SCREAM AND SHOUT

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adel Blanc-Sec is Luc Besson to the director’s chair instead of just contributing to scripts and producing the latest Liam Neeson flick. Adele Blanc-Sec (Louise Bourgoin) is an explorer like Indiana Jones. She heads down to Egypt to locate a special mummy. She has her enemies that want to bury her in a pyramid. But she’s too smart for their lame schemes. She escapes with her mummy in tow. At the same time Paris is having an issue with a giant pterodactyl flying around the city. How did it come alive? That’s the secret of an ancient Egyptologist who has a mental bond with the dinosaur. The mysteries all come together in a film that’s much more fun that the last few Mummy movies and the creepy CGI Tintin. There’s plenty of great special effects faces that are on par with Dick Tracy. The film is rather fun and plays with quite a few themes that Besson explored in Fifth Element. It’s great that the movie is finally getting released in America after three years. The movie is quite a bit French, but don’t let that alienate you. It does feature walking mummies roaming around the Louvre. The Blu-ray looks gorgeous on a large HDTV. The bonus features include a DVD and Digital copy of the film. There’s a making of featurette and deleted scenes. You can listen to the movie in French and English. You’re better off with French.

Swamp Thing still rates as one of the best comic book super hero movie. Wes Craven went to the murky terrain of South Carolina to give us the DC Comic character in his natural terrain. This isn’t just some Hollywood backlot with handfuls of Spanish moss glued to trees. You can feel the humidity of the remote laboratory run by Dr. Alec Holland (Twin Peaks‘ Ray Wise). He working on new compounds from vegetation found in the swamp. Alice Cable (Maude‘s Adrienne Barbeau) gets assigned to help Dr. Holland’s research. Before she can get settled on the compound, an evil force of mercenaries shows up eager to claim the scientific break throws. They’ve been paid for by Arcane (Octopussy‘s Louis Jourdan). When Dr. Holland is less than turning over his research, he gets exposed to an element that turns him into the Swamp Thing. He’s a big green superhero that must protect Alice from the evil. Can he stop his research from being sold to the highest bigger? The Blu-ray comes with a DVD. Director Wes Craven contributes a commentary track where he talks about all the challenges of not just making this on a Hollywood backlot. Make up artist William Munns also gets to talk about his work at keeping things looking good in the humidity. There’s interviews with Barbeau, Len Wein (creator of the comic book) and Reggie Batts. This is the PG version of the film with less Barbeau nudity. The R-rated version was accidentally released on DVD. Why not an unrated cut on the Blu-ray? According to some internet sources, Barbeau’s contract only allows the PG version to be released in North America. Swamp Thing is much better than Thor.

The Fog: Collector’s Edition is another Adrienne Barbeau film. This ghost story was John Carpenter’s follow up to Halloween with even more people coming home on a special night. A seaside community is excited about their 100th anniversary. Little do they know that their going to have guests wanting payback. The ghosts arrive in a thick fog with revenge. John Houseman sets the scene giving a spooky tale to the kiddies. Is it a night to beware? Of course it is. These aren’t just any ghosts attacking the town. They’re pirate ghosts looking to claim the lives of the living. Why are they doing that? You want me to ruin a good ghost story? A hint is that Hal Holbrook is the key. Being chased by the ghosts is not just Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween), but her real life mom Janet Leigh (Psycho). It’s amazing to see two generations of scream queens test out their pipes when the bumps arrive in the night. The bonus features are a mix of new and old. There’s an audio track with John Carpenter and the late Debra Hill discussing how The Fog was a budget step up from their previous efforts. There’s a new commentary with cast and crew led by Barbeau. “Fear on Film” is a vintage featurette about the show. “Horror’s Haunted Grounds” pays a visit to the film’s locations. You might plan your vacation around that tour. There’s plenty of trailers, tv spots and promo photos. The 1080p transfer was supervised by cinematographer Dean Cundey so it looks really good and sharp except when it’s foggy. There’s nothing too vague about this ultimate edition of The Fog.

The Incredible Melting Man is the movie that turned Rick Baker into a superstar of makeup effects with the public. How could this be? Baker was coming off Dino’s King Kong when he took the Melting Man as a gig since they paid him a huge fee. He didn’t think they’d do it. Being the highest priced person in the movie, made him the star. One version of the trailer is all about his creation of the creature. Baker was getting the treatment reserved for Ray Harryhausen. The film itself is about an astronaut that returns from a mission to Saturn. Something is causing his flesh to liquefy. He races around dripping all over the place. There seems little hope for a cure although he thinks eating other people might help him. The film is amazingly low budget. There seems to be no budget for extras. Everybody in the shot seems to be talking or being attacked by the Melting Man. There’s an audio track from director William Sachs. He’d go on to direct Galaxina and the Crown International sensation Van Nuys Blvd. Baker and Greg Cannom speak on camera about their involvement and their effects. Baker remembers the large tubs of goo he had to make for the Melting Man to ooze all over the locations. The advertising campaign scared me when I was a kid. Mom said to not worry since this was a movie and I wasn’t going to Saturn. Nowadays the media always covers flesh eating bacteria so the fear is creeping back. You don’t have to be an astronaut to melt. And now for your pleasure, the German trailer for the movie.

A Boy and His Dog: Collector’s Edition brings us the magic when the star of The Brady Bunch teamed up with the future icon of Miami Vice. There was a magic when Tiger the dog (the replacement for the original dog) was buds with Don Johnson in a post-apocalyptic nightmare world. The two have learned to survive in the wasteland that gets nastier each passing day. Things get nasty for the duo when Don gets led into an underworld complex by a girl who promises him a lot of stuff. He finds himself trapped in a nightmare that would fully be embraced by Glenn Beck. Jason Robards is the mayor. Although the strangest bit of casting is Alvy Moore as the town’s doctor. He’s best known as Hank Kimball, the county agent on Green Acres. This is a film directed by L.Q. Jones, best known for being one of the scummy bounty hunters in The Wild Bunch. This is his only feature film which is a shame since it’s a cult success. Tiger died shortly after this film was completed. L.Q. Jones is joined on the audio commentary by cinematographer John Arthur Morrill and critic Charles Champlin. The big bonus is Jones sitting down with author Harlan Ellison. Supposedly Ellison didn’t like the tone of the film, but the two have come to terms. “It’s an awfully good picture,” Harlan admits. Their 51 minute conversation covers so many aspects of the production. A Boy and His Dog is amazing to behold after all these years.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 4 is the mid-season of the show’s run. The ratings were high at the start of the year with so many people wanting to know the outcome of Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) being assimilated into the Borg in “The Best of Both Worlds Part II.” There’s family themes dominating the early episodes. “Family” returns the crew to earth where Picard hangs out in France with his brother. Dr. Cusher (Gates McFadden) lets Wesley (Wil Wheaton) see a message his late father had left him. “Brothers” unites Data (Brent Spiner) with his creator and his brother Lore. “Suddenly Human” lets Picard play Maury Povich as he informs an alien child that he’s really human. What’s the kid going to do? “Legacy” brings Tasha Yar’s sister onto the deck. She wants to bring sanity to her out of control colony. “Reunion” hooks up Worf (Michael Dorn) with his ex-girlfriend. He finds even more Klingon relatives. “Final Mission” marks the end of Wesley Crusher’s time screwing up the Enterprise. Wil would return for a few guest shots, but is now known for tormenting Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory. There’s a lot of memory loss episodes including “Clues” with the crew forgetting what happened for 30 seconds. But it might really be longer. Time is relative in outer space. “Qpid” has everyone’s favorite near god teases Picard with love. Can he finally break the human? The season ends with “Redemption I.” Worf quits Starfleet to fight in the Klingon Civil War. This two parter is also presented as its own movie with Star Trek: The Next Generation – Redemption on Blu-ray. The action is put together seamless for the complete Klingon Civil War saga. You won’t have to wait until season 5.

Eve of Destruction (The Doomsday Series) is a three hour mega-movie that deals with the horrible consequences about tapping into dark energy. Steven Weber (Wings) is a scientist who think he has the solution for electricity. What he doesn’t know is that this experiment was tried in Russia was a disastrous result. A power company worker from Russia remembers the night the electricity went out of control. He can’t stand seeing it happen again. Treat Williams is the boss who is semi-skeptical of the future event. The mini-series that ran on Reelz is much smarter than the original fare on Syfy. This comes off as more science fiction than Sharknado.

The Borgias: The Final Season wraps up the tale of Pope Alexander VI and his cutthroat family. This wasn’t supposed to be the wrap up season, but that’s just the way it worked out since the ratings on Showtime weren’t quite Game of Thrones or Tudors level. The season starts off with the Pope recovering from a poisoning. Catherina Sforza is ready to finish off the family, but daughter Lucrezia must rise to the challenge since her brothers are busy. The Pope puts on a grand inquisition against the College of Cardinals. He’s not trusting anyone anymore. Why should he? One of the Cardinals steals a large amount of cash from the Vatican bank and covers his tracks by torching the vaults. The final episode does seem a bit like an ending with a family unification on the horizon. It was a good series and it’s a shame that it didn’t get the proper ending. Unlike Deadwood, fans won’t have to guess how it was going to end. The script for the unproduced two hour finale movie has been adapted to prose and can be downloaded as an e-book. The Blu-ray brings out the rich production values in massive sets and equally massive wardrobe. The bonus features include Borgia Bloopers and the first episode of Ray Donovan.

DVD SHELF

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXVII brings a well-rounded collection of episodes from the series that perfected the art of mocking bad movie. All four major cast eras are spread over the selections. “The Slime People” is from the first season with Dr. Erhardt (Josh Weinstein) teaming up with Dr. Forrester (Trace Beaulieu) to torture Joel and the Bots. They find a tale of creatures coming up from the sewers to takeover Los Angeles. Today we call them reality stars. “Rocket Attack U.S.A.” is pure cold war love. Spies go to the Soviet Union to infiltrate those commie bastards. The mission backfires and an atomic bomb wipes out Manhattan. Thus no more Woody Allen films would ever be made. TV’s Frank is with Dr. Forrester on this one. There’s also a creepy reminder that Mike Nelson would soon be blasted into space during one of the breaks. “Village of the Giants” is another massive production from Bert I. Gordon (Food of the Gods). This time a bunch of teenagers out for kicks eat a special food made by a young Ron Howard (Eat My Dust). They are turned into huge problems as they dominate the sleepy town like Marlon Brando’s gang in The Wild Bunch. Mike Nelson and the Bots have a good time at the expense of some low budget special effects. There’s also a sad time as TV’s Frank gets laid off and replaced by Torgo. This isn’t a speedy changeover. “The Deadly Mantis” brings more Pearl Forrester to the scene. This time the Earth blows up thanks to a recreation of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. You do get a Beezer fix before the blast. But don’t fret, Mike, the Bots, Pearl and Bobo survive along with a print of The Deadly Mantis. This came from the time when Universal was in love with stock footage. Sure they have a great Mantis puppet, but so much of the film is defense department film of planes flying. They also abuse some Eskimo documentaries to make things feel authentic. The bonus features include interviews with two cast members from The Slime People and Village of the Giants. There’s a fine documentary about William Alland, the producer of Deadly Mantis and those classic Jack Arnold films at Universal. Trace Beaulieu reminds us that he’s worked since leaving Deep 13. This is a fine sampler of MST3K episodes since you get a taste of all the actors.

Here’s the regular trailer for Deadly Mantis.

Nicky Deuce marks the end of an era since this is the last time you’ll see James Gandolfini playing off his Tony Soprano character. He’s joined by plenty of his co-stars from the legendary mobster series including Michael Imperioli, Tony Sirico, Steve Schirripa and Vincent Curatola. How did Frank Vincent not sneak onto the screen? None of them are Nicky Deuce. Turns out he’s a kid (Noah Munck) from the suburbs who gets sent to Brooklyn for the summer to spend time with his grandparents (Schirripa and Oz‘s Rita Moreno). He does his best to fit in with the local kids by taking up a bit of a wise guy persona. He begins to suspect that his relatives are mobsters. How did so many actors from Sopranos end up in a Nickelodeon movie? Turns out that Schirripa wrote the novel and asked a few favors from his pals. Little did they know that this would be the last time to mob it up with the man once known as Tony. Nicky Deuce deserves to sit next to your complete Sopranos collection.

The Virginian: The Complete Seventh Season is the semi-penultimate go around for the TV series that had each episode be a feature length movie. Somehow this crew was able to crank out 26 episodes of the adventures around the Shiloh Ranch. The big new thing for this season is the arrival of David Hartman (Good Morning America). He’s a saloon worker who gets fired. He think he can cut it with The Virginian (James Drury) and Trampas (The Land that Time Forgot‘s Doug McClure). “The Saddle Warmer” has Sutton start off on a bad food when he breaks Trampas’ leg in an accident. Or is it? Later a woman shows up claiming to be his wife. Tom Skerritt (Alien) has a bit part. “The Orchard” brings Burgess Meredith to the ranch as a pal who always has a bad streak of luck. Ben Murphy (Gemini Man) might make things get tragic. John Saxon arrives with a black heart and a bullet for Trampas in “Vision of Blindness.” Saxon seeks revenge for the death of his brother. Ben Johnson (The Wild Bunch) wants a bit of calm. “The Wind of Outrage” reeks of the pure macho musk from Ricardo Montalban (Star Trek II). Ricardo gets to flex his acting muscles in the role of an ex-Canadian. Take off! “The Heritage” features Jay Silverheels in a non-Tonto role. “Ride to Misadventure” drives action past Harry Dean Stanton (Repo Man). “Crime Wave in Buffalo Springs” gets felonious with Yvonne De Carlo (The Munsters) and Carrie Snodgress (Diary of a Mad Housewife). “Incident at Diablo Crossing” makes Gary Collins a killer or is he?

The Virginian: The Final Season isn’t really the show’s final season. Turns out after season eight, NBC changed the show’s title to The Men From Shiloh. The tone of the show was changed to a Spaghetti Western approach with minimal ranch based action. They even hired Ennio Morricone to create a new theme son. So in a sense, this is the last Virginian before a major overhaul. The big change of the season is David Hartman hits the range and Tim Matheson (National Lampoon’s Animal House) arrives as Jim Horn. Season 8 takes us back to the time when Leslie Nielsen (Police Squad) was a hard ass in “The Long Ride Home.” He’s offered a full time gig at Shiloh. Can he stick around as a regular? “The Substitute” busts Champas for a murder. What chance will he get for justice since the sheriff is Ken Lynch (McCloud). “The Burgler” isn’t Alan Hale Jr. (Gilligan’s Island). “Home to Methuselah” puts a lawman on the trails of outlaws. He doesn’t believe in prisoners. Timothy Carey (Paths of Glory) needs to fear this guy. “Black Jade” puts a cowboy hat on William Shatner (Star Trek). “You Can Lead a Horse to Water” gives us the FCC required guest visit from Strother Martin (The Wild Bunch). Joan Crawford stars in “Nightmare.” Which cowboy will give her wire hangers? Dennis Weaver of Gunsmoke and McCloud fame arrives for “Train of Darkness.” The Virginian was the third longest running TV series behind Bonanza and Gunsmoke although it might be the longest if you factor episodes lengths. “A King’s Ransom” pays off with Patrick Macnee (John Steed on The Avengers). He’s the leader of a kidnapping gang. The 24 episodes play more like a Western Film Festival rather than tv season. This is the perfect gift to keep dad occupied for several weekends.

Hecho En Mexico (Made In Mexico) explores modern Mexico which the American media has reduced down to the border and the massive body counts thanks to drug wars. But there is so much more to this country. Director Duncan Bridgeman and his crew explore the vibrant arts and culture of the country South of the Border. There is so much color and rich music that gets expressed in 100 minutes of a travelogue. There’s a festive flavor to so much of the footage. You’ll be eager to get in the middle of a massive party down there. This is an intriguing view for those wondering what’s beyond the desert and the pharmacias. The DVD also includes access to the UltraViolet stream and download so you can watch the film as you fly to your vacation in Mexico. The film is rated R for dirty talk.

Gunsmoke: The Ninth Season, Volume 1 & Volume 2 marks the true arrival of Festus (Ken Curtis) and the departure of Chester (McCloud‘s Dennis Weaver). It’s a sad transition and oddly enough one that doesn’t get much thought about by people who started watching the show in the ’80s. Why? Because the average viewer under 40 thinks Festus has always been the sidekick of Marshall Dillon (James Arness). Chester had the unfortunate luck of being in290 episodes that were shot in black and white. Cable stations would rather just run all the color episodes starring Festus. These people also don’t realize that Burt Reynolds was a regular on the show as Quint since he too lacked color during his stay. The season starts off with a bit of a personality crisis as Ken Curtis arrives in Dodge City for “Lover Boy.” He’s a slick cowboy who gets involved with a woman who wants him to do wrong. Can he resist her charms to be lethal? “Prairie Wolfer” brings Curtis back as Festus. He’s hired to track down the wolves that are attacking cattle. But are they the real predators on the range? He needs Matt’s help to keep from being bait. He returns of “Once a Haggen” which turns into his trade off with Chester. Slim Pickens (Dr. Strangelove) gets arrested for killing a Poker player. Festus swears his buddy is innocent. He teams up with Matt to reveal the truth. This episode turns him into a regular. Chester sticks around for one more episode. “Bently” lets Chester doubt a dying man confessing to a crime that he beat in court. Chester thinks the guy is trying to cover. Dennis Weaver left the show to star in Kentucky Jones. While he bounced around in short lived shows for a while, he ended up on the long running McCloud while Gunsmoke still had 5 more seasons to go. And now here’s Ken Curtis showing off his pipes with a Western classic.

Filly Brown marks the movie debut and unfortunately the only performance of Jenni Rivera. The singer passed away in a plane wreck in Mexico last December. She plays an incarcerated mother of hip-hop singer (Gina Rodriguez) that’s on the cusp of breaking through. She has support from her dad (La Bamba‘s Lou Diamond Phillips. Trouble is that her major label deal seems to hinge on her turning her back on so many that have helped her along. They also want her to change her style to be more sexual than cerebral. She just wants to land a contract so she can help her family. It’s a film that would have played better in the ’90s when record companies mattered. Rodriguez brings the right amount attitude and uncertainty for her character. Rivera’s mom behind bars shows she could have had a long career in films. The big bonus is deleted scenes involving Rivera. Filly Brown played Sundance in 2012.

Power Rangers Samurai: The Ultimate Duel wraps up the series with the final four episodes. “The Tengen Gate” gives them the unfinished weapon of the original Red Power Ranger. They get told a story of a Nighlok King who cursed all around him. “Boxed In” has them doing their best to open up the Black Box so they can fight back properly. The Moogers are coming. “Broken Dreams” takes them into the Dream World. Things are getting more intense. Master Xandred destroys something major as revenge. “The Ultimate Duel” pits Deker against Jayden in a battle to the death. But can they really battle alone? Or does Jayden need the power of his Power Ranger companions? After this series, comes Power Rangers Super Samurai. While there are two more episodes to the season, they’ve already been released as part of Monster Bash Halloween Special and Christmas Together, Friends Forever.

War On Whistleblowers is a timely documentary from Robert Greenwald and his crew. You can’t watch the news without getting at least one story about the major whistleblowers who have exposed government and private sector secrets. Right now it’s all about Edward Snowden who exposed the extremes of NFS programs. The film dips into the tricky world of those who want to whistleblower. The movie starts with a defense department official who realized that Humvees were no defense against IEDs in Iraq. Many people wanted to swap to a vehicle that could handle a road blast better. But nobody in power wanted this changeover to happen. He leaked the non-classified information to the USA Today and it forced change. Military lives were saved. But the whistleblower was treated as a traitor. There’s another tale of military incompetence when the Coast Guard paid a fortune for new boats, but didn’t want to buy water proof radios. The film does a good job of making viewer not see those that leak government information as merely aiding the enemies of America. With Snowden and Bradley Manning in the news, this is a fine time to explore the subject. Greenwald provides a commentary track. There’s also extended interviews with plenty of the subjects.

RoboTech 2-Movie Collection: The Shadow Chronicles & Love Live Alive (premiere) is a double feature of Scott Bernard action. RoboTech comes from that mid-80s era of Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The show used to dominate a corner at my local Suncoast whether with videotapes, books and toys. The show got an extra push with the release of Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles was released in 2008 to celebrate the show’s 20th anniversary. The action picks up where the TV episodes ended. Invid has taken over most of the Earth, but the humans aren’t backing down. Luckily, it turns out the Invid have a greater enemy hunting them down. Can the humans survive the enemy of their enemy? Scott Bernard is in the middle of the madness. Mark Hamill (Star Wars lends his voice. Love Live Alive is sort of a new movie. It takes a look at the third season highlights through a Scott Bernard’s adventures. This set up works well for fans that haven’t seen the show in a few decades and just want a refreshing review of the action. There’s a lot of bonus features including Birth of a Sequel, Score Music Video, Select, !PoN Anime Podcast, Robotech 3000, Robotech 3000 Motion Capture Sequences, Scenes (w/optional commentary), Outtakes, Animatics (w/optional commentary), Trailers and Photo Galleries.

Spaghetti Westerns and More Spaghetti Westerns are part of Timeless’ “Movies 4 You” series that put 4 films on 1 DVD. There’s more than a handful of Clint Eastwood films that were made by Italian crews in the Spanish deserts. These two sets bring 8 entries that were shot during the height of the subgenre from the mid-60s to the mid-70s. Spaghetti Westerns contains the first two movies featuring Montgomery Wood (Giuliano Gemma) as Ringo. He was as big as Django and the Man With No Name in the ’60s. A Pistol For Ringo has Ringo saved from the hangman’s noose when he must rescue a family from outlaws. To pull off his mission, he has to join up with the outlaws. The Return of Ringo has him disguise himself as a Mexican outlaw to get revenge on a gang that really wronged him. Ringo: Face of Revenge gives us Anthony Steffan as Ringo. He’s on a treasure run with half of the map tattooed on a convict. They need the second half that’s on a sheriff’s body. Can they reunite the duo and keep all the loot? Shoot, Gringo…Shoot! could almost look like Ringo on the drive-in marquee. An outlaw has to find a man’s missing son to escape execution. This has actual American actors Brian Kelly and Keenan Wynn playing Americans. More Spaghetti Westerns has four films that focus on money and bullets. Blood For A Silver Dollar brings back Gemma. He’s returning from the Civil War. The locals want him to hunt down and kill an outlaw. But can he follow through with the hit when he sees his target? 10,000 Dollars for a Massacre brings us another Django entry with Gianni Garko. This time he’s on the trail of an outlaw gang. But he ponders taking over the gang and leading them on major heist. 7 Dollars On Red puts Steffan on the road after his son whose been kidnapped by bandits. Can he get his kid back before he becomes an outlaw? A Bullet for a Stranger lets Garko save two brothers who are suckers for outlaws. These two sets are fun to watch on a small screen since they’re rather low resolution versus Timeless’ recent Django double features. The good news is this helps you not notice the lips are out of synch when they talk in the dub track.

Touched By An Angel: The Eighth Season is the heavenly penultimate season. Valerie Bertinelli (One Day At A Time) goes full time with angels Roma Downey, Della Reese and John Dye. They’re out to fix the lives of those losing touch with their faith. Valerie arrives for “Holy of Holie.” They have to help a college professor find the Ark of the Covenant. Sadly there’s no bullwhip fighting. “The Perfect Game” deals with a father being overbearing on his baseball playing son. Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters) gets to be a part of the game. Major holy roller Kirk Cameron becomes “The Birthday Present.” Gloria Stuart (Titanic) gets involved in an abused kids case. “Heaven’s Portal” takes Angels to a rave where they get messed up. Peter Scolari (Girls) gets tangled into the E-venture. “When Sunny Gets Blue” brightens up a younger Zachary Quinto without his Spock ears. “A Winter Carol” has a fictional 9/11 storyline barely two months after the World Trade Towers came down. Blair Brown (Fringe) is trapped in emotional rubble. “The Blue Angel” has the painful friendship between Ernest Borgnine (McHale’s Navy) and Tom Bosley (Happy Days). Neil Patrick Harris bolts on his fiancé in “The Princeless Bride.” I wonder why NPH wouldn’t marry her? “For All the Tea In China” is a mega-special episode with Angela Lansbury playing a woman with a big secret. Only one more season for the stars to be Touched By An Angel.