Ahead of their debut at Comic-Con next month, Bif Bang Pow has given FRED readers an exclusive look at the packaged versions of Henchmen 21 & 24 from their upcoming line of VENTURE BROS. toys, plus a special TWILIGHT ZONE bonus
So without further ado, here’s your look at Henchman 21 & Henchmen 24 (plus a peek at Kanamit from THE TWILIGHT ZONE:
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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…
(Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)
You wouldn’t think a comedy like Caddyshack (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$24.98 SRP) would benefit so much from high definition, but the new Blu-Ray benefits from a crystal clear picture that looks better than it ever has previously. To add even more incentive, there’s a new feature-length 30th anniversary documentary featuring most of the principals (sans Bill Murray and Chevy Chase) reminiscing, as well as the half-hour featurette from the original DVD release. The film is also available via iTunes & Amazon On Demand.
Who wouldn’t want a radio controlled robot you can fit in the palm of your hand? I know! Well, the dream you never thought you had has come true with the line of Zbit Mini R/C Robots ($14.99 each). There’s a whole line of the little buggers to choose from, and each one is just as nifty as can be.
Launched in the wake of Raiders Of The Lost Ark and clearly playing in the same ’30s adventure sandbox, Tales Of The Gold Monkey (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$49.97 SRP) was TVs attempt to cash in with a pretty damn fun series starring Michael Collins as a young American transporting people on the run in the South Pacific in 1938 via his Grumman Goose seaplane. Felled by high costs after one season, you can now own it all in a set packed with commentaries, featurettes, and more.
It’s only in hindsight that you realize the entire season you spent watching Ice Road Truckers (History Channel, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$49.95 SRP) on the edge of your seat worried about a truck (and trucker) falling through the ice was really just an entire season of watching trucks drive. Back and forth. Because nothing deadly has happened yet. Really, you’re just watching a soap opera. In trucks. On ice. The 3rd season set contains all 13 episodes, plus additional footage.
It’s a shame that we can only get it divorced from the Jim Henson Hour, within which it was originally presented, but it’s worth picking up Jim Henson’s Dog City (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) just to support the release of more Henson specials.
While most of the attention went to Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige, the other magician film, The Illusionist (Fox, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP), is a fun little love story wrapped up in a mystery, with a cast that includes Ed Norton, Paul Giamatti, Rufus Sewell, and Jessica Biel. The new 2-disc Blu-Ray features the original standard edition DVD, containing the bonus materials.
Abandoning the 2-disc half-season sets in favor of the single disc episode collection familiar to fans of Spongebob, iCarly: iSaved Your Life (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP) contains an extended director’s cut of the titular episode, plus a trio of episodes and the movie “iQuit iCarly”. Bonus materials include behind-the-scenes featurettes.
Many doubted it would happen, but it turns out that Larry David did return for a 7th season of Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), and he brought with him a holy grail of a storyline for comedy fans – a meta Seinfeld reunion, bringing all of the principals together for a the shooting of a special within season. Bonus materials in the 2-disc set includes interviews and behind-the-scenes featurettes.
For those keeping score, the Charlie Chan TCM Spotlight Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), features the final three films starring Sidney Toler as the legendary sleuth who makes solving crimes a family affair. Those three films are Dark Alibi, Dangerous Money, & The Trap, with Roland Winters debut as Chan rounding out the set in The Chinese Ring.
Proving once again that their purpose is to really dig into the vaults and release titles that otherwise wouldn’t get a DVD release, the Warner Archive has added the Red Skelton Whistling Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$24.95), which contains a trio of flicks starring Skelton – Whistling In The Dark, Whistling In Dixie, & Whistling In Brooklyn.
On the heels of the success of Hercules and Xena, Warners waded into the fray with The New Adventures Of Robin Hood (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$34.95), which aimed for the same kind of tone but never caught on like the others did. For the dedicated fanbase, though, the Warner Archive has made the first season available, which makes me think the rest of the series will be coming in due course.
How many of you remember that Family Matters (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) didn’t start out with Urkel? No, the nasally ubernerd was nowhere to be found at the beginning of this spin-off from Perfect Strangers, which began as a simple family sitcom. If only they knew what the were about to be engulfed by in just a few short episodes. The first season set contains all 22 episodes.
Tween & teen girls are the intended audience for the extended edition release of the Disney Channel movie Starstruck (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$28.99 SRP), about a small town girl who hooks up with a pop star after a chance encounter. Bonus features include music videos, an additional song, and the soundtrack CD.
Talk about a show that just limped along to the end – you can now own the 6th and final season of Nip/Tuck (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), a guilty pleasure of a show that became guiltier and less pleasurable as things wound on. Bonus materials are limited to a featurette on the psychology of plastic surgery.
Featuring over 22 points of articulation, 2 sets of interchangeable posing hands, an openable chest with positive “blue” energy inside, battery-operated illuminated eyes, interchangeable arm cannons, interchangeable rocket boots, and a display base, Hot Toys’ 12-inch Astro Boy figure ($104.99) is not only a fine collectible, but also a great gift for a kid (the ones that take care of their toys, naturally). Unlike their recent vinyl Astro Boy display, this one is fully poseable. Ridiculously so. Get it while you can.
So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…
-Ken Plume
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Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp
A-Team – Review
The tagline to the 2010 version of the A-Team is that There Is No Plan B. Unfortunately, there seems to have been no Plan A, either.
Watching director/writer Joe Carnahan’s latest action opus you half wonder if he really thought that having characters with absolutely no backstory, no lives to speak of prior to what we see when we hit the ground literally running on the opening fifteen minutes of the film was an especially good idea. Certainly having a Quinton “˜Rampage’ Jackson fill in the shoes left by the charismatic Mr. T in the 80’s might have seemed good in theory but, in execution, it was a miserable decision. Jackson tosses out T’s wildly popular refrain “Fool” as if he were a drunken slob performing it in front of the venerable TV action star in jest. Jackson seems to be well enough equipped to perform as his own if he weren’t trying to inhabit the body of a character decades old but it does feel old. This movie feels old.
What Carnahan’s camera work, accurately depicting what it would look like if you were to strap a movie camera on a paint shaker and left to run, disappointingly fails to accomplish is a sense of visceral action, of fun. In Smokin’ Aces, Carnahan’s last directorial outing, the camera was in love with what it was capturing; be it Jeremy Piven’s descent into madness, the Tremor brother’s equally impassioned decent into madness, or the action that punctuating the moments where mayhem was the name of the game, that film should have set Carnahan up here to make something with an even bigger budget to blow things up. What we get, however, is humor that doesn’t cut as deep as Aces and action set pieces that simply feel perfunctory than they do a visceral part of what we all want. What we all want the whole time, mind you, is one that captures Carnahan’s talents but when the movie takes no time to give these four men, Hannibal (Liam Neeson), Face (Bradley Cooper), B.A. Baracus, and Murdock (Sharlto Copley) any sense of camaraderie or kinship these men are all expendable.
The story itself is painfully simplistic: while performing the kinds of things that the A-Team is known for doing in Iraq, while we don’t know what these things are we do see some of our members strategically battle scarred (Cooper, who has a lot of screen time without his shirt on) for proper effect, they’re offered a job. The job has them retrieving American currency printing plates from the dirty clutches of Iraqis who are up to no good. With shocking ease and movie magic that elevates what these men pull off to heights that even the most forgiving person with a good suspension of disbelief would think is insane, the men do the impossible, literally, and are framed once the job goes south. The men, wanting to clear their good name, are freed by a little nudging of CIA agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson, who plays his part with as much listless gusto as Edward Norton did in the Italian Job) go on the hunt for the plates in a story that presents no speed bumps or obstacles too realistic that these men can’t overcome.
The fault, primarily, lies at the feet of Carnahan, Brian Bloom, and Skip Woods. The former, Carnahan, has no excuse. Both Narc and Smokin’ Aces still hold up as examples for how great and pulpy screenwriting can be and the writing here just reeks of someone who has no interest in logic or depth. Bloom, on the other hand, has an excuse. This is his foray into credited screenwriting after over a 25 year career in Hollywood and if his character in the film (Pike) was any indication of the kind of material he’s capable of producing it’s a sad indication of how one-dimensional he decided to present. However, writer Skip Woods has written such action films as Hitman and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. These two films take the wonder out of trying to decipher why there is no blood coursing through the people we see on the screen, why they feel as alive as a piece of scenery, pawns to be simply moved at the whims of a script that deems it so without any fundamental reasoning.
The wafer thin love subplot between Cooper and Jessica Biel (Charisa Sosa) is a particularly curious addition to the film in that it too feels like it was put there simply to keep it being a premature sequel to The Expendables. A woman and man do not a romance make and the nonexistence of chemistry or, again, deeper history between these two fails to help make this a compelling relationship to care about in any meaningful way. The direction that Gerald McRaney’s (General Morrison) character goes not only feels like lazy scriptwriting but it’s a shameful callback to old Scooby-Doo episodes where the big reveal depends on a literal unmasking. All that was missing in this movie was for these men to all wake up and realize they were just fantasizing the idea that they were all a super team impervious to logic or reality.
This was a movie that is supposed to be fun to watch because we want to see these men overcome the danger of being the hunted while also being on the hunt. The failure to capture the sense these men were in any real danger of either being taken back into custody or being killed on assignment almost makes you wonder whether if this ought to have been shown on NBC as a movie of the week if this was how toothless the movie was going to play out on the screen.
When one of the best compliments you get from a critic who actually gave a positive review of your film remarks about the good-lookingness of your lead actor as a reason why people will like your movie, there’s something wrong with it. We ought to embrace the mayhem and excitement of men like this on the loose, fighting two sides of the law, and we ought to have been given a movie that took an OK television show to explosive heights. Instead, we have a pack of actors just wandering in a movie where you simply don’t care what happens to them. We just want them off our screen so we can go home.
Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.
Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.
Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.
VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE
KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #151: So Very Black – Ken & Dana return with their most depressing recording ever. Seriously. But hey, it ends with a birthday! Sorta.
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Pretending Emo Is Primo
Step one to appreciating Steven Kilpatrick (that’s me-lazy wave included) is to understand that I used to be bitter, then I became an idealist, then I got into graduate school pursuing my dream-and now I’m bitter and educated. Well-at least, I hope, a little more educated than I was before.
Of course, Flannery O’Conner would tell you that colleges haven’t stifled enough of us writers over the years, so take that education with a grain of salt. Either way, color me tentatively unstifled and let’s move on to the good stuff.
I’m still here to talk about video games. However, my take on gaming is directly influenced by those years of snooty pedagogical training about craft and fiction. Imagine Daniel Craig strapped to a bottomless chair being hit in the testicles with John Gardner’s On Becoming a Novelist and you pretty much know what grad school is like.
None of that may matter to you as a reader, but it has mattered to a few people I’ve spoken with about games, as gaming grows up to be big and strong. You see, gamers are very proud at the moment-very proud of how the industry, the content and caliber of games is maturing. The problem is that we hold this maturation to the standard of other video games and not to the standard of culture.
What the hell am I talking about?
This week I’m talking about Heavy Rain. It’s had its balls critically cradled and moistened for the last couple of months and I can only attribute this lapse in judgment-this appetite for the mediocre-to a starvation of style.
I’m going to say this as gently as possible: Heavy Rain is no good. It’s what hungry people see on islands in Looney Toons cartoons. Because there’s no other alternative, they see a giant talking piece of meat and they salivate for it. Sadly, when the boat comes, drags these people back to society and the real entree arrives, there are going to be a lot of critics wishing they could take back the praise they’ve given to this false idol of “Emotional and Mature Gaming,” which must, by now, be a registered trade-mark of game writers who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
I suppose, if you spend your summers staring down people dressed as Cloud from Final Fantasy VII-or interacting with the people who still play Halo 3 online-certainly your bar for maturity has probably lowered over the years. Still, were we willing to step outside, let out eyes adjust to the bloom of a mid-day sun, and remember the world as it is-and not as we’ve created it-then can’t we all agree that we face tougher real decisions each day than the ones presented in Heavy Rain? That emotional weight that’s honest and has nothing to do with forced camera angles, mysterious slamming doors, plot twists and bleeding?
I’m attempting to discuss a very complicated issue without spoiling a not-too-complicated game. Every plot point feels like something they left out of a daily soap opera or maybe cut from the next Saw sequel. In fact, if I had to compare this game to anything it would be a really crappy spinoff of the Saw series-only without the immediacy or energy. This is especially unforgivable since this is packaged as a sixty dollar PS3 game. Yes, I know that the game director says not to think of it as a game-and certainly it isn’t a very good one, so I’m half way there-but he wants us to instead think of this as an interactive film.
I wouldn’t pay sixty dollars to own any single film-let alone a film that plays out like an off-off-off-Broadway production of Saw XVIII staring someone’s gym coach who always wanted to act-even if that play is presented in a Brechtian way (i.e. the audience is part of the show).
I’ve met a lot of younger gamers who seem enthralled by this game and I can only assume they respect the narrative because they cheated on all of their English exams in high school. I do this for a living and even I skipped out on The Great Gatsby and Heart of Darkness when I was in high school. There was a time, I must confess, when I thought Smallville was epic storytelling (forgive me Stanley Kubrick). I sympathize.
Still, it doesn’t help explain why so many of our older gamers fall into the same trap. I promise you, if you watched the narrative for Heavy Rain as a film alone-you would feel cheated of even a ten dollar theater ticket. The plot twists are predictable, heavy handed (ooh, look at that car circling the cul-du-sac five-thousand times when nothing else is going on-it’s probably nothing!)
Apart from that, the game doesn’t give us anything new. It is being hailed as ground breaking, but it’s actually a step back in many ways.
-Creepy Camera angles? We’ve been enjoying those since the 90s thanks to Resident Evil.
-Games as Interactive movies? Adventure titles have been paving that street for even longer (and with far more intuitive control schemes).
-Even the consequences have the feel of the old “Choose Your Own Adventure” books-only instead of holding your fingers between the pages so that you can go back, you just create a new save.
Speaking of that, you also don’t have to learn a new way to read a choose your own adventure book just to get from page to page. There are times in Heavy Rain when I’d be on my way to some destination, the camera angle would change (in a super artsy way I’m sure) and suddenly I’d be veering off like a drunk driver. Narrative is never as hard to keep in focus as when your characters seem confused about how to maneuver around their own homes.
Can you imagine any book where paragraphs repeated themselves based on whether you blinked at the wrong time? No? How about a movie that randomly rewound for three seconds? No? Ok, then this isn’t an interactive story-it’s a game and it isn’t doing the game part right.
I love the ambition of the creator to a point (though he seems to regard games in general as a child’s medium). I could pen an entire grumpy rant about his definition of gaming and gamers-but I won’t today. For now I’ll stick to what he didn’t-gaming.
Extra Lives:
Life One:
I wanted to try something different for my second submission (and future pieces should they arrive) and include two little tag sections to my column. Not everything has to be so heavy and important, so what I hope to do is include the extra lives section and then after that a “Continue” section with a closing about what I expect to form an opinion on soon. I think we’ll go with the traditional three lives and if I have something really important I might add a cheesy “1-Up” bullet.
Life Two:
I’m a trophy/achievement whore like anyone else these days. Usually I know when to put the controller down and say, “You know what, I don’t need that lame ass achievement.” I walked away from the Wolfenstein “Break 1,000 crates” trophy based on the, “if it’s not fun, I’m not earning it,” rule I created. Not exactly rocket science.
However, I broke this rule twice this week using the same method. The first instance didn’t earn me a trophy, but it did net me about 23,000 experience points in Borderlands. There’s a meta-achievement within the game called, “I Fired Every Bullet Ever,” which you earn by firing 100,000 times.
My second one was for the game Darksiders. If you ride your horse for 100 miles, you get a trophy called Dark Rider. Now-this is only a bronze trophy so it would be practically shameful to have earned it legitimately-though I imagine my shame is pretty resonant anyway.
I earned them both by taking one of my fiancee’s hair ties and wrapping it around my controller (if you know what I mean). In Borderlands I just hopped in a car (which has unlimited ammo) put the band on R2 and turned off my surround sound and let it shoot for a few hours. For Darksiders I found a giant area for my horse to run around in and had the hair tie hold down the analogue stick at just the right angle to run in circles. The
achievement should be called, “Why I Hate NASCAR.”
I’m not telling you this because I’m proud-I just think I should be held accountable.
Life Three:
I did end up with a little redemption this week. Despite the low resolution graphics, the lack of mature narrative and the complete absence of trophies or achievements of any kind (nothing at all to increase my E-Peen rating) I was able to enjoy Super Mario Galaxy 2 for hours. Turns out, if the game is good enough you don’t need to supplement it with bragging rights.
Continue?:
E3 is happening next week so there’s a lot to be curious about. I have to admit though-I’m especially interested in hearing about Screen Paper 2.0. EGMi publisher Steve Harris claims that they’re working on a non-flash version of their Screen Paper technology so that they can get EGMi going on the iPad. There’s supposed to be an announcement near or during E3 regarding this update. I know, I know, “what about Epic Mickey!?”
Warren Spector can take care of himself.
Until next time.
– Steven Kilpatrick
Day 1
Here we go again.
Big Brother UK has reached it’s 11th and final series. For those not in the UK and Ireland, you may not realise the kind of juggernaut this has been on television for the last decade. It has defined a long trend in broadcasting changes, been front page news on innumerable occasions, caused international incidents, raised nobodies to celebrities and tore them back down again. Like it or loathe it (and the people have been picking sides with conviction since day one) you can’t get away from it. At it’s best, it’s a tool for social education and at worst its trash television made to shatter dreams. For the next 13 weeks it’s going to dominate a lot of the press and airwaves.
I bloody love it. And I feel it’s final bow needs to be talked about.
The UK set up is very different from the American one for many reasons but two key reasons in particular:
1) Housemates are forbidden from discussing nominations.
This is important because the US version is very tactical and seems to be more about “alliances” than friendships or having a good time.
2) The housemates (minimum of two) who have received the most nominations for eviction will be voted out by the public.
Now here is where the game really changes because not only are the housemates being watched by the public but they’re also being judged by them. Harshly, too. The pantomime of eviction nights are a cruel thing but part of the beauty of the show. These fame hungry lunatics are driven so demented by whether or not they are being received favourably by the outside world that they start to lose grip of their actions inside the house and things start to get nutty from there.
Add to this the belief that they’re all going to be stars once they leave the house (which in reality is a really slim chance as very few previous housemates are doing anything more than their old jobs or sitting on their arses) and you get a mindset that is more of a ticking time bomb of delusion rather than one of rational thought.
Last night the new housemates entered. The style in which they brought them in changed from previous years. A group of 81 hapless hopefuls were assembled and 13 were chosen on the night. They didn’t really mention why they did this clearly but it was an obvious ploy to stop their housemates being leaked to the press before the night itself.
The 14th housemate was then chosen at random out of a tombola and given a special task for the first week. As seen in previous seasons the housemates have often theorized that a mole would be planted in the house to confuse them, well this year BB decided to be pretty blatant about it and made the poor man dress in a mole outfit, wear a sign saying “I am a mole” and made him sleep in a mole hutch. His task is to not be fingered as a mole. They weren’t joking when they called it his impossible mission.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself here. It was launch night so I’m going to give you my first impressions of our cast and save the house antics for another day.
Here’s my run down. Be aware, I’m going to be blunt.
Ben
Nob nob nobby nob nob. Extremely posh but in denial about it. Probably isn’t even in denial but he knows that the public who watch this show won’t like his upbringing (we’re a bitter bunch) so is trying to claim he is a man of the people. He has worked behind the scenes on a few reality shows so I’m surprised they let him on. Won’t last very long. He’ll most likely walk out after somebody gets aggressive with him. It’s a shame because he’ll probably be fascinating to watch considering he’ll be the only one in there with table manners.
Caoimhe
Bollocks, I was hoping there wouldn’t be an Irish entry this year. Made all the worse by the fact that she’s a southside Dublin girl (ask an Irish man about “D4 girls” and stand back). She seems instantly dislikeable but my girlfriend thought she was pretty. I don’t agree with my girlfriend on this though. The only plus to having her around is she’ll probably snog the first guy who shows her interest and her name is hilariously confusing to the Brits. One snag, she pronounces her own name wrong. She says its “kee-vah” but in reality its “Quee-veh”. Lame.
Corin
“OhmygodlikeJordanismyhero”. Blech. Slapped up like a glamour model and all the class of one too. What was fun though is that as soon as she said she wanted to be like Katie Price the crowd instantly started to “boo” her. She claimed defiantly that she didn’t care what people think but unfortunately my dear they control you on a show like this so you better care. They’ll probably love her by the end though as the British public get retarded over a “tart-with-a-heart” character.
Dave
As soon as I saw the monk outfit I knew I didn’t like him. Used to be an alcohol and drug abuser until he claims he felt the joy of god and has been getting “high” with the help of the lord ever since. Apparently has big holy raves on a regular basis. This seems to be just a way for him to try and promote his little church of godoholics so good luck to him. He could be comedy but his laugh seems forced and he’ll most likely turn out to be boring once he stops trying so hard.
Govan
Token queen of the house. He might get crushed in the first few weeks if he’s not careful. Seems like he could be a nice bloke though. He’ll need to get a “bestie” soon as it seems he loves a good gossip and that will go begging if he doesn’t create a harem around himself. His “bff” pick will be crucial to how far he’ll go in the house.
Ife
Pronounced “Iffy” and sure to give the tabloid writers a heart attack with joy for all the possibilities they can have with her in headlines. She could turn into a wreck the head though as her introduction hinted at a need to be singer. The fame hunger can make people seem desperate and sad sometimes so hopefully she can keep that in check and not wind everyone up with constant attention seeking tactics. “Look at me singing!” “sign me up to a contract!”.
John James
Asshole. I’m calling it now. Loves himself and doesn’t care about anything else. He has already claimed he won’t clean up and that ALWAYS ends badly on this show. Will probably try and get off with 2 or 3 girls in the house after a few drinks and will no doubt get himself into endless trouble. I actually just want to punch his pouting face. ARGH!
Josie
My tip to win it (yes it’s only the first night but you can usually call these things early). “Bubbly” country bumpkin and fattest girl in the house. She’s a shoe in. I would like to clarify that she’s not remotely fat but she seems to be the only person who isn’t a stick insect in the house so unfortunately she’s landed with that role this year. She’ll get lots of love for this fact alone from the largely gay/female public. They love the ones who are “just like us” so if she can act a bit dim and be nice to everyone she can’t lose this.
Mario
Poor sod got landed with the mole task. Seems to be doing his job well though so far. I felt very sympathetic towards him as he seemed like a deer in headlights upon getting the news. This might be the sort of exposure he needed to do well in the competition though because he may have been a background player without this attention. He has no “wacky” angle to play up otherwise. Likeable fellow though.
Nathan
Mancunian geeeeeeeeezer. Could rub people up the wrong way if he stays as “in your face” as he seemed at first. Another “joe soap” who could go far as long as he doesn’t rock the boat but I get the impression he could start a few arguments and might get a bit aggressive after the booze starts to flow. And yes, I’m being completely judgemental and stereotyping the guy. But it’s the first night.
BeyonSORRY I mean Rachael
I’m gonna call her Beyonce for the rest of the show and I don’t care. Was happy to tell people she was a hairstylist on the night but seemed a bit embarrassed to talk about her work as a Beyonce impersonator. Prettiest in the house and she’ll fight to keep that title. Already seems to be getting derision from the females watching as our host Davina couldn’t stop making catty remarks about her. She could be the attention of the house for several reasons so I think we’re going to be talking about her for some time to come.
Shabby
I hate her. For several primal reasons but mostly because she’s trying too hard. “LOOK AT ME, I’M CRA-RAAAAAAY-ZAY”. Ridiculous toff who squats in houses because she’s so arty. Honestly, there is bile building up in me just thinking about her. If we were in medieval times she’d probably run half the country. I would have put her head on a stick or died trying.
Steve
Probably the bookies favourite and for good reason. Amputee from fighting for his country with 8 kids, you try and vote the guy off without looking like a heartless scumbag! Has an easy ride to the final unless he fucks it up by being a bully to someone. I felt a little uncomfortable though during his entrance. This year BB has a “carnival” sort of theme and when a guy with no legs is standing there, waving to a crowd, it was all too literal of a “freak show” to me. It was an awkward decision.
Sunshine
Her real name is Yvette but she’s another toff (this year is full of upper/middle class kids) who thinks she is a free spirit. She thinks this mostly because she has had a free ride in life. These sort of folks invariably get voted off by the public at a first chance. We may not have the money in our family like you do “Sunshine” but we have phone credit and that means you’re fucked, darling.
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So there you have it. My opening thoughts on our players for this final game. I’ll be back after Friday night’s show. Stay tuned!
– Aaron Poole
Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever
I’m Ken Plume, and soon you’ll be listening to “A Bit Of A Chat” with me, Ken Plume.
In this episode, I have the second of a two-part chat featuring THE VENTURE BROS’ own Doc Hammer…
Oh yeah, and be sure to pick up his band’s new album, WORN THIN.
Hope you enjoy…
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO PART 1 Download “A Bit of a Chat with Ken Plume & Doc Hammer: Part 2“:
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Drop Ken a line HERE.
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You can also find more of my interviews by clicking HERE.
Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!
In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of FLASH GORDON on Blu-Ray.
In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of DARKMAN on Blu-Ray.
In conjunction with MGM Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of SHOWGIRLS on Blu-Ray.
In conjunction with Touchstone Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of SHOWGIRLS on DVD.
In conjunction with Playing For Change Records, we’re giving away a PLAYING FOR CHANGE LIVE Prize Pack.
In conjunction with Playing For Change Records, we’re giving away a PLAYING FOR CHANGE LIVE Prize Pack. The pack contains a PLAYING FOR CHANGE LIVE CD/DVD, a digital download of the PLAYING FOR CHANGE LIVE CD (Includes liner notes as a Digital eBooklet PDF), a digital download of an exclusive live video of “A Change is Gonna Come” performed live in New Orleans in 2009, a new Playing For Change T-Shirt (Choose one Men’s or Women’s shirt), New Playing For Change water bottle, a Button and sticker pack, and a choice of DRM-free 320kps MP3 or Apple Lossless file.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
In conjunction with Touchstone Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of WHEN IN ROME on DVD.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
In conjunction with MGM Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of SHOWGIRLS on Blu-Ray.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
Check out the Showgirls twitter account. They’ll be posting photos and video from this coming weekend’s Gay Pride Festival as well as funny trivia throughout next week’s release date!
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of DARKMAN on Blu-Ray.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of FLASH GORDON on Blu-Ray.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.
Are they heroes?
No.
Are they geniuses?
Far from it.
Are they the future of this planet?
I sure hope not.
Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.
BAGGED & BOARDED #58: I Brake For Jewish Aliens – In which Matt and Jesse ponder the STAR WARS prequels, jaw about what a “shooter” is, and do their damnedest to offend extraterrestrials of all races. Bagged and Boarded: Now with CGI Dewbacks!
[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #58 (MP3 format)
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Got something to say? E-mail Matt & Jesse at the B & B mailbag.
CLICK HERE FOR THE BAGGED & BOARDED ARCHIVES
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Here’s a classic SNL clip parodying Song Of The South, featuring Tracy Morgan – “Uncle Jemima’s Pure Mash Liqour”…
If you’ve ever been curious to see Disney’s long-vaulted Song of the South, here’s your chance…
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Kate Plus Wait
It isn’t every day that I come to this column willing to admit something that would seem to get me shunned in the real world. Today I’m doing just that because I have to admit that I was always a fan of JON & KATE Plus Eight. Please, whatever you do, don’t let that get in the way of reading my column.
Now that I’ve admitted this to you I feel a little better in the admission of having watched the special KATE PLUS EIGHT event that happened this Sunday night. Even though it was advertised by TLC as somewhat of a return they also, at no time, admitted that this two hours of back-to-back showings of KATE PLUS EIGHT were just that, two hours that won’t be a regular occurrence. It was just a sampling of what is to come. This sampling might not have been too bad either if it weren’t for the fact that both episodes were completely wreaking of PR spin.
I don’t think that anyone is under the illusion that there is 100% pure reality in the beast that is reality television. Footage is show, reviewed, and then it is edited to allow for a story to be told depending on what story they want to have told. These first two hours had a very specific agenda that wanted to hit on very specific items. If you didn’t take the time to watch them (or if you are just here to enjoy a study in PR spin) allow me to break them down for you now.
1) The children aren’t being exploited and they really enjoy doing the show.
The first ten or fifteen minutes of the first hour were dedicated to the ceasing of taping for JON & KATE PLUS EIGHT as well as the reactions by the children, how they were sad about it. After that transition we see the surprise return of the camera crews, how the children love them and play with them, and we should all be comfortable with the fact that this show exists. The message was heavy handed, it didn’t serve much except for this one point.
The second half of the first hour tried to also drive this point home by seeing how the family gets to enjoy certain perks from the fame like a trip to DISCOVERY KINGDOM for the sextuplets sixth birthday. This message probably could have just been overlooked as actually providing some cute kids seeing cute animals for lots of “ooohs” and “aaahs” except from a critical story telling error. One of the older twins, MADDY, has a melt down because the six younger kids are now getting their third birthday party. Yes, their third. Instead of a perk we’re suddenly reminded that what we are seeing is reality television that has been scheduled and planned out. This breaks the fourth wall a bit for someone like me and I suddenly step out of the experience and realize I’m watching a trumped up scenario created for the purpose of showing me the perks the kids get from production. I suppose the good news for TLC is that it worked because I got the message.
2) Kate is a working single mom, just like so many other moms, but her employment is in the media so don’t hate her.
This message was delivered a little bit in the first hour and heavily in the second hour. In the first hour KATE says after she was voted off DANCING WITH THE STARS she just fell right back into her mommy routine. Understandable, but isn’t it also what you are supposed to do KATE? The second hour, where we see a few behind the scene days with KATE where we see her grueling day of trying to train for her upcoming dance number, meet an obligation with the TLC network and suffering from exhaustion. Although informative it just wreaked of, “See how weary she is? Don’t hate her, feel sorry for her! She’s got 8 children and she’s running herself down just to provide for them!”
Other than the heavy handed message I think the only disservice this second hour did was in showing a book signing that they really didn’t need to show. This made me have to guess that possibly there was some press around the LOS ANGELES book signing not having great turn out since they said during the show at least three times how it was ‘thrown together at the last minute.’ I haven’t bothered to explore if that’s right but based on the message they were sending out I’d venture to say that I might be.
Putting aside my observations of the PR-centric nature of these episodes I have to admit that I still enjoyed both hours. My only wish is that the show was actually returning in full force instead of us just getting a few teaser episodes. Now that two hours have aired we have to wait for the next KATE PLUS EIGHT special that will be available JULY 11th.
Now that we’ve gotten all the PLUS EIGHT ought of the way let’s see what else TV has to offer us.
MONDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s been a while since we last saw LIE TO ME so let’s hope these last final nine episodes pack a memorable punch.
NBC – 8:00 PM: I’m not sure why but LAST COMIC STANDING is back. One redeemable quality is CRAIG ROBINSON being brought in as the show host which is reason enough for me to give it a shot.
ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: After this many seasons is there really any secret left in THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER?
FOX – 9:00 PM: Since the special sneak peak of THE GOOD GUYS I’ve been jonesing to know if they can keep the magic of that first show going. Tonight I’ll have my answer.
NBC – 10:00 PM: PERSONS UNKNOWN seems on the surface to have elements of the classic THE PRISONER show with people abducted and dumped into a TV where they are monitored via closed circuit television. It’s created by one of the minds behind THE USUAL SUSPECTS so it has a pedigree that warrants at least an episode or two of exploration.
TUESDAY
ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: I don’t think you could pay me to watch PRETTY LITTLE LIARS but it might be a good form of torture.
A&E – 8:00 PM: Want to feel better about your life? Watch a few hours of BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR and unless you’re actually on the show you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world.
FOX – 9:00 PM: I’d probably be more on the edge of my seat for the season finale of GLEE with the NEW DIRECTIONS getting to the make it or break it performance at Regionals but the show has been picked up for two more seasons already.
BRAVO – 10:oo PM: KATHY GRIFFIN DOES THE BIBLE BELT may sound like an adult movie but instead it’s the bridge burning spitfire tackles the A-listers during this taped Tennessee performance.
FX – 10:00 PM: OK, KATHY GRIFFIN not butch enough for you? You’ll want to catch the season finale of JUSTIFIED in that case.
NBC – 10:00 PM: After last week’s premiere of LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN MICHAELS did so well at 10 they decided to keep it here instead of at 8 like they said last week. Just a heads up.
WEDNESDAY
CMT – 8:00 PM: Sometimes the things I type even make me do a double take. Here’s one example: THE CMT MUSIC AWARDS hosted by KID ROCK. Yeah, I know… right?
TLC – 9:00 PM: Enjoy another mind-numbing season of I DIDN’T NOW I WAS PREGNANT as it kicks off tonight.
ABC – 10:00 PM: Wait, HAPPY TOWN is still on the air? Whoah, didn’t know that.
THURDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: No, the schedule is not playing tricks on you. GLEE moves over to Thursday nights for repeats this summer. Squirm uncomfortably with me during the duet of ENDLESS LOVE sung by WILL and RACHEL.
SHO – 10:00 PM: It’s the return of PENN & TELLER BULLS$!T! tonight as the two take on the American splendor of the CHEERLEADING.
USA – 10:00 PM: It’s been FAR too long that we’ve waited for the return of ROYAL PAINS and this week we find out HANK and EVAN’s father is none other than HENRY WINKLER. Last time this guy was near sand wasn’t he jumping a shark? Hmmmmm.
BRAVO – 10:00 PM: REAL HOUSWIFE NYC alum BETHENNY moves into her own show titled BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED? Yeah, I’m not watching it either.
FRIDAY
ABC – 8:00 PM: The Alphabet Network brings us the 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP KICK-OFF CELEBRATION CONCERT.
FOX – 8:00 PM: Hey, remember that show PAST LIFE that nobody watched! Great news nobody, it’s back!
SYFY – 9:00 PM: It’s the end of the somewhat unbalanced season for STARGATE UNIVERSE.
SATURDAY
ABC FAMILY – 3:00 PM: Want to go back-to-back-to-back with all of the BACK TO THE FUTURE movies? Here’s your chance.
DISNEY – 7:00 PM: If you don’t already own them on home video than you can get ready for TOY STORY 3 with tonight’s back-to-back airing of TOY STORY and TOY STORY 2.
SYFY – 9:00 PM: With a title like STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE you’d think it was a high quality TV movie, right? Too bad the movie wasn’t aware it was a parody.
SUNDAY
CBS – 8:00 PM: Tonight THE 64TH ANNUAL TONY AWARDS is the show most networks are not even trying to compete against.
HBO – 9:00 PM: I won’t be watching the TONY’s at all tonight because I’m all about the premier of TRUE BLOOD.
AMC – 10:00 PM: JESSE is on the run and WALT tries to negotiate a deal for their safety on the season finale of BREAKING BAD. Perfect for post TRUE BLOOD viewing.
In Praise Of… “Spilt Milk” by Jellyfish
For my inaugural entry on this fine site (sophomore entry, if you count my introduction), I can think of no better example of something I love wholeheartedly (well, nearly) that seemed to pass most folks right by than the second album by the band Jellyfish, ‘Spilt Milk’. While most music aficionados will be clued into the band and their output, your average Joe has no idea who they are or what blissful melodies and sublime guitar pop they were capable of. To those people, I say, that’s just really sad. But fret not! I’m here to help, and point you to one of the best musical secrets of the past 20 years. If you follow my instructions and run out and get a copy after reading this column, you’ll thank me. And your heart and your ears will be thanking you for a long time to come.
But before we get to my first love fest here on FRED, I should explain what I’m NOT trying to do within this essay. Jellyfish burned extra brightly but half as long, to misquote Mr. Tyrell, and I wish they’d at some point get it all together and make another record. (When I was a producer on VH1’s Bands Reunited I constantly campaigned to go after them, which always fell on deaf ears). But this won’t be about the history of the band, it’s politics, label frustrations, post band work or what cool people have dropped their name in interviews. All of that, I’m sure, you can get on dozens of other sites, far more informed than I am. No, this is just going to be about one man’s unabashed love for another group of men with musical talent.
I’m not positive when it was when I first heard of Jellyfish, but I seem to recall seeing a video or two from their first album, Bellybutton, in 1992 when they were getting loads of airplay on MTV. The song “The King is Half Undressed” was a minor hit, but I didn’t take much notice of them, and never got the record. (I picked it up much later, it’s a fine album, but their follow up is miles ahead of it). A year later, their second effort Spilt Milk was released. I’m not sure what drew me to it, and I certainly hadn’t heard anything off of it. I seem to recall bringing the CD to the counter at a Sam Goody in Minneapolis, and the guy behind it giving me a “thumbs up”. “Great record”, he said. “Really? What’s it like?” I asked. “Well, it’s kind of like the album that Queen and The Beatles never made.” If he had said it had pictures of nude women on the CD face and the case folded out and could be made into a working robot I couldn’t have slapped my hard earned rupees down fast enough. But surely he was being a bit too enthusiastic, no? Beatle-esque was a term bandied about pretty frequently, but I’d never heard a band that sounded even remotely close to Queen. I wasn’t sure there was anyone with courage enough to try. And then I stuck that little shiny disc into the car’s CD player, and was floored from track one onwards.
Now, admittedly, your enjoyment of this record may have a lot to do with how you feel about several bands: the previously mentioned Beatles and Queen, Breakfast in America era Supertramp, The Beach Boys, Wings and Badfinger. (I remember when Alex Ross and I first started our epic phone calls; it wasn’t long before the subject of music came up. By the sheer number and types of bands we were both into, it wasn’t long before one of us asked the other about Jellyfish and Spilt Milk. It was an “instant bond”, if you will). So, if you have a seething hatred of any of the above, you may want to stop reading. To be clear, you don’t have to LOVE any of those artists to dig this album, but I thought it fair to warn you anyway. As you can probably ascertain already, I’m a Beatles fanatic, and Queen are a top ten favorite. The rest I enjoy, but in dribs and drabs. So, now that we’ve gotten the pedigree of Jellyfish out of the way, what about the record?
The album starts off with a slow, quiet build. Fittingly, the first track is called “Hush”. It really takes it’s time, with what sounds like notes being played on a tinkly child’s piano, before the curtain comes back and beautiful, layered near acapela harmonies sing a sort of lullaby. It’s a little over two minutes, and ends with a “Good night” from the guys, and then the tinkly piano fades out. It’s a strange way to BEGIN a record, wishing us good night and singing us to sleep. But its soon apparent that nothing on this record is ordinary.
Once “Hush” has drifted off to dreamland, guitars and drums come crashing in, signifying the start of track 2, “Joining a Fan Club”. “She turned the night light on and blew him a kiss/He stared back through his green Crayola eyes”, is the first line, and the first of the slightly tongue in cheek lyrical moments through out the record. The song seems to be sung from the perspective of a teenage girl infatuated with a pop star, but man, the tune is all over the place. It’s essentially three different songs, because it manages to get so many different tempos going, similar to McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” or Queen’s “Bicycle Race”. As it starts to wrap up, our teen seems to be getting over the crush, saying “Joining a fan club, it’s a big mistake/ I still get heartburn, when I think about all of the stamps I ate”. Things may not have gone well for the pop idol, as he crashes his car and we’re told to “say a prayer for a fallen star”. Great tune.
Next up is “Sabrina, Paste and Plato”, and our tinkly little piano comes in again, backing our narrator who seems to be in grade school and telling us about his crush. Its another great song, pure pop, but bordering on sickly sweet. The best way to describe it, and I’m no expert on such things, is that it wouldn’t be out of place in a musical the way the story’s told to us. There’s even a chorus of children towards the end, singing what sounds a bit like a nursery rhyme.
The next two tracks are my favorites on the record, and in my alternate reality they’d have both been chart toppers. First up is “New Mistake”, which might have been the first single, I don’t recall. It’s such pure pop beauty that every single time I hear it; it’s as fresh as the first listen. There are few tunes that can do that to me, songs that I literally never get sick of. The Beatles, sure, goes without saying. But even with the Fabs, there are times when I wish I could ‘un hear’ the stuff because I know it so well. I try and give myself breaks from them from time to time, so I can take it all in again. But every now and again, there are songs so perfect and timeless that I could hear ’em every day and still keep smiling, without necessarily being an obsessive of the rest of the artist’s output. “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty is one, ‘Roll to Me”, by Del Amirti comes to mind as well. And “New Mistake” is on that list.
The song is basically about getting a girl pregnant, but it could be about landing on Jupiter for all I care. Drums kick the song off, acoustic and electric guitars bring in the melody, the bass line is magnificent. The verses give way to a chorus that sounds like something by Supertramp or any number of acts from the late 70s, with an added edge. It even has the same rhythm flourishes that are in the opening of “the Logical Song”. Without gushing too much more, it has to be heard to be appreciated, but if you fall in love with it, I promise it’ll deliver a smile every time.
Track 5 is my other favorite, and my feelings for it are so close to “New Mistake” that I feel like I’m cheating on it. “Glutton of Sympathy” begins with faint sounds of crickets, leads to a quiet vocal and acoustic guitar. Andy Sturmer’s voice does soft and loud equally well on the album, and his work on this tune alone is sublime. When the chorus comes, the full band kicks in and there are more gorgeous Beatle-esque (you knew that word was coming at some point) harmonies, pleading with whoever is being sung to. The bridge has another favorite line, “Indecision won’t you ever make up your mind?” and gives us a nice mini guitar solo, more harmonies, then Sturmer’s pleading “Will you never cease to be/the Glutton of Sympathy?” before descending to a beautiful close. Those last two tracks could have been a double A side, for my money.
“The Ghost at Number One” was another single off the record, and it’s a belter. Loud guitars, that damn tinkly piano again in the choruses, and enough pop harmony to make Brian Wilson blush. I think the song is about deceased artists making it to Number 1 on the charts, which is sort of really about the labels exploiting the artists for monetary gain. It’s got a bite and bile to it that’s missing from the record up to this point, and it’s heavier than what’s come before too. It’s a nice punch to the gut in the record, which is needed, and brings me to another great point. The album is laid out so near perfectly, track wise, that other bands could study it when planning their masterpieces.
The “side one” closer is “Bye, Bye, Bye”, and suddenly we’re at a traditional Jewish wedding. The middle section is right out of “Fiddler on the Roof”. It’s a great way to close the first half of the album, and sounds absolutely nothing like anything that’s come before it. Again, it sounds most like it belongs in a Broadway show, but in a good way.
The next track, and “side two” opener, is “All is Forgiven”. Guitar feedback signals the onslaught of pounding drums and a cacophony of notes; it’s a whirling tornado of a tune, the noisiest on the record. It took me years to get into it, but when I started to notice the payoff of the song following it, I began to appreciate it more. “Russian Hill” is absolutely gorgeous, the kind of song Nick Drake might have written in a much more minimalist way. The strings and harmonies get me every time.
The rest of the record is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t hold the appeal for me that those first nine songs do. I realize as I’m writing this that it will become apparent to anyone reading that I’m no record critic. But I guess that’s the point of what I’m trying to do with this column, just give my gut reactions to items from different mediums. You know, the old, “don’t know much about art but I know what I like” defense.
Anyway, back to the record. If Spilt Milk has a flaw, an Achilles Heel, it’s one track keeping it from being a perfect record, it’s “He’s My Best Friend”. It’s an ode to the singer’s penis, and while the tune itself is as eminently hum-able as anything they ever did, the lyrics bring it into comedy album territory. Yes, that’s right, dear readers. Just a few short years after XTC gave us the classic “Pink Thing”, another great band decided to give us a love song to male genitalia. I give them a pass, though; every band has a “Revolution #9” in their arsenal.
“Too Much, Too Little, Too Late” and “Brighter Day” are the album closers, and take us from a fond farewell to a bizarre parade/carnival, complete with horns, cymbals and a marching band drive. All in about 10 minutes. As the last notes fade out via strings and harp, we’re taken back to the quiet hush of where we came in, and the band float off into the distance. I’m not sure how long the end came after this record’s release, I only hope it was as amicable as those things can be. I like to think the door’s still open for these geniuses to work together again.
If any of this has been of interest, and you eventually get the record and enjoy it, be sure to track down the clutch of B sides Jellyfish released as well. “Worthless Heart” is a beautiful demo, one can only imagine how it eventually would have been filled out, and “Family Tree” is the “shoulda-been-on-the-album” tune, the best song Free never recorded.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little voyage, and that maybe I’ve turned a few more people out there on to this great band. It’s probably one of the albums I give a spin at least a couple of times a month, whether it’s turned up loud in the car or on in the background at home whilst surfing the internet. Because of the miracle of the iPod age and the death of the album, there are artists I love (The Jam, The Kinks, Neil Finn, Radiohead), whose output I keep on shuffle, never minding so much that the songs are all over the place. I’m as guilty as anyone. But Jellyfish’s Spilt Milk is one of the rare ones that I need to hear from beginning to end. I’d love it if any of you out there can hip me to something similar in your lives. Let’s bring the album back to life together. Be seeing you…
– Jason Lenzi
In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away a grand prize featuring the Blu-Ray edition of LIFE along with the deluxe companion book to the series. Not only that, but a pair of runners-up will win DVD copies of the series.
Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
About the Blu-Ray:
Four years in the making, filmed over 3000 days, across every continent and in every habitat, with a production budget of £14 million ($22 million) Life is the latest wildlife blockbuster from the BBC’s award-winning Natural History Unit, the producers of Planet Earth and The Blue Planet.
Packed with excitement, revelation, entertainment, and stunning screen firsts, this breathtaking ten-part blockbuster presents 130 incredible stories from the frontiers of the natural world. Discover the glorious variety of life on Earth and the spectacular and extraordinary tactics animals and plants have developed to stay alive, individual creatures under extreme pressure to overcome challenges from adversaries and their environment, pushing the boundaries of behavior.
About the Book:
Life, the spectacular companion volume to the new Discovery Channel/BBC series, tells a majestic and compelling story of survival and of the amazing behaviors animals and plants adopt to stay alive and pass their genes to a new generation. Beautifully written and illustrated with more than 300 high-definition color photographs, Life focuses on the most exciting examples of the millions of species to demonstrate the harrowing and very different challenges that all living things must overcome to prevail and to procreate. In 60 concise and captivating vignettes, intriguingly grouped in categories like Extraordinary Sea Creatures, Fabulous Fish, Irrepressible Plants, Hot-blooded Hunters, and Intellectual Primates, the authors provide the most up-to-date science. Each chapter parallels an episode of the television series, making the book a must-have addition to any interested viewer’s library. From the familiar to the rare–polar bears, Japanese snow macaques, monarch butterflies, and fish-catching bats, a mega-roost of 10 million fruit bats in Zambia, capuchin monkeys that use stone tools, marine life beneath and upon the ice of Antarctica, and tiny goby fish that climb Hawaiian waterfalls–this sumptuous volume brims with information and unforgettable images of the spectacular, the dangerous, and the bizarre.
No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.
No Purchase necessary to win.
Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.
One entry per day, per person.
All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, June 23rd.
The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.
Essential Sounds (2010/06/05)
Hello there one and all welcome back to another edition of Essential Sounds where I, Malcolm Foster, have been digging to find the freshest new music for your listening pleasure. This week we have a potential death by orgasm, an egotistical super producer, vampires galore and so much more.
1. “Farewell to Wendo” by Mock & Toof
The latest offering from UK duo Mock & Toof (stable mates of James Murphy’s DFA Records) brings us a very catchy piece of ethnic pop. Seemingly structured around the elevated and highly prominent female’s vocals we have a solid background consisting of Japanese strings and tribal like percussion. Whilst being subdued by the constantly shifting synth bass line we are requested by the mystery guest vocalist to “murder her with orgasms” well it’s certainly an acceptable way to go I guess. I have a feeling that we are going to be here a lot more from Mock & Toof so dig into this intriguing number to get a good idea of what we can expect to hear in the very near future.
2. “I’m Not Made Of Eyes” by General Fiasco
Moving over to Northern Ireland now, our second essential sound comes courtesy of indie trio General Fiasco. What we have here is a very classic mid tempo indie rock sound but with a truly engaging vocal delivery. You can’t help but get a real feel good factor from this song its crammed full of simple yet effective song writing and will no doubt find itself becoming a real summer anthem this year. “I’m not made of eyes” is the group’s second single from debut album Buildings, which I highly recommend and even tip for a potential mercury music prize nomination. Remember you heard it here first.
3. “Power” by Kanye West
Love him or hate him you cannot deny that when he isn’t invading stages and interrupting award ceremonies Mr West has got one of the most intricate and dynamic ears in the business. Coming back out of the studio with attitude new single “Power” has exactly that, from it’s tribal vocal hook to it’s thumping drums the return of “Yeezy” is anything but subtle. Those hoping the whole Taylor Swift debacle might have mellowed him will no doubt be disappointed as on a lyrical tip he has taken hold of the happenings in his world since last LP 808s and Heartbreaks. Taking the notion of being the “Abomination of Obama’s Nation” he flips an insult into a compliment by claiming it as “one hell of a way to start a conversation” and lets face it takes somebody special to do that and walk with it in his stride. If power is an indication to what forthcoming album Good Ass Job is going to be like we could looking at one of the most talked about albums of the year.
4. “Jonathan Low” by Vampire Weekend
Our fourth pick comes fresh from the forthcoming Twilight Eclipse soundtrack, yes that’s right you did read that correctly Twilight Eclipse Soundtrack. Fact is unlike the story which the music accompanies I cannot pick a hole in the soundtrack choices for Bella and Edward’s pout-athon. “Jonathan Low” takes a side step from the bands 2010 album Contra, in fact it has an almost Smiths like twang to it until the verse closes and the chorus unfolds where we are showered with an explosion of church bells and string work. This certainly shows Vampire Weekend at their fullest in terms of instrumentation and could be a good look for them if they decide to pursue it any further in forthcoming material.
5. “Gone For The Summer (Part Two)” by Teen Daze
I might as well book myself a one way ticket to Canada at this rate, as once again they have provided another wonderful essential sound. This week Canada’s contribution to excellent music comes in the form of producer turned solo artist Teen Daze. With “Gone For the Summer” we are treated to a beautiful blend of wishy washy synth’s, echo chambered vocals and funky percussion rhythms. There is a very rich and warm feel to his work and with debut EP Four More Years due out later this year I’m looking forward to seeing what else Teen Daze can provide to sooth my ear and soul.
–Malcolm Foster
Prepare to have your mind BLOWN by Mario’s Ladder…
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In this episode, I have the first of a two-part chat featuring THE VENTURE BROS’ own Doc Hammer…
Oh yeah, and be sure to pick up his band’s new album, WORN THIN.
Hope you enjoy…
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The Nerd Identity
Tori Amos released a song in 1994 called “Cornflake Girl” in which she contends that womankind can be classed as two distinct groups. She identifies the two groups as “Cornflake Girls” and “Raisin Girls”. The idea comes from the distribution of flakes and raisins within certain breakfast cereals. In certain cereals as in the cereal bowl of life, the cornflakes are easier to find, they make up the largest portion of the cereal and also are kind of boring. The raisins are much rarer and some times you have to work harder to find them. But they also taste a lot better than the flakes and they make the cereal a hell of a lot more interesting. I feel that this is a pretty sound idea which can be applied to men as well as women, but even more than that, I feel that it could be even more appropriate to apply the “Raisins” and “Cornflakes” labels respectively to nerds and ordinary folk
Now before we go any further, I should probably make it clear that I’m going to be using the term “nerd” pretty frequently in this column, but not exclusively. In fairness, its pretty interchangeable in the mind of some ordinary folk with other words and terms like “geek” or “dork” or “sad git”. But “nerd” is the word that I prefer to use and it’s a good catch-all term for people who stand outside the norms of society. Basically, the word denotes life’s raisins.
On the journey in to Dublin one evening with a friend of mine, the conversation turned to a holiday I had been on in Florida a few weeks earlier and the comic convention that I attended. As I was excitedly telling him about the convention, the cosplay folk, the media guests and how much fun I had with my friends after the convention while we stayed up drinking most nights, I could see his eyes glaze over, pretty much the way mine would if he started to regale me with tales of his exploits playing hurling or rugby. But friends are allowed to bore each other with their stories, that’s what friends are for. I told him that it’s very hard not to have a good time when a group of nerds get together. At this juncture he said to me that I wasn’t really a nerd, that I was an ordinary guy in the body of a nerd.
Now, in fairness I do look like a nerd. There’d be no denying that fact whether I wanted to or not. Being a thin guy who wears glasses is going to get you labelled a nerd even if you’ve never read a book or seen a sci fi movie. The fact that I was wearing a Browncoat t-shirt and wearing the One Ring at the time meant that I couldn’t really argue with that part of the statement. But to quote Marian Call, “Nerdery is more than wardrobe deep, and I’m a nerd down in my heart and that’s where nerdhood rocks”. Nerds come in all shapes, sizes and guises from the most beautiful woman in the world all the way to the stereotypical thin guy with glasses. But no matter how you present yourself to the world, one of the best parts of being a nerd is being comfortable in your own skin.
And to be honest, it was a bit disheartening being called “ordinary”. By definition, most of the people on the planet are “ordinary” and just blend in to the background with nothing to differentiate them from their peers. Nerds have long accused of being cultish but I can’t think of any cult bigger or more insidious than the Cult of Being Ordinary.
Nerdhood knows neither borders nor boundaries. It doesn’t discriminate on grounds of race or colour or belief or orientation. There’s no membership fee, there’s no cost and you don’t have to be rich. Although having disposable income does come in handy when you want to buy a Dawn statue or a Stargate replica mirror on impulse.
Impulse buys aren’t an uncommon thing because nerds tend to get very excited about stuff, a love of merchandise is another hallmark of being a nerd. From Superman statues to framed original comic book pages to character t-shirts to Exogorth oven gloves, I’ll freely admit that we get excited about some very silly looking things at times. Hell, we get excited about generally anything that falls within our fandoms. It’s not common to find that level of enthusiasm amongst the regular folk. While I would never presume to speak for all nerds on this particular subject, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of nerds are Atheists. With Atheism comes a certainty that this life is finite and that this life is all you get, so you might as well squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of it, regardless of what it is that causes that joy. What other point could there possibly be but to squeeze every bit of joy and excitement out of your time on this earth regardless of what other people might think or how it might appear. And sometimes the simple pleasures are the best, whether it’s seeing a great movie on your own or reading a great comic book in a pub with a couple of pints or just hanging out with like minded people talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. Of course, that’s over and above the fact there’s just some very cool geeky merchandise out there that’s worth getting excited about. There’s a reason that it’s called “geeking out”.
Most of my geeking out and my social nerdery revolves to a greater or lesser degree around the View Askew Message Board and the fine folk who post there. Almost six years ago to the day, I signed up the the Board and not too long after, I took my first trip overseas and met some of the Boardies face to face. We had been talking online for a while and I felt comfortable enough in going to England to meet them but there was no getting away from the fact that I was actually in a totally different country on my own and I was going to meet a crowd of people who I actually didn’t know in person and it could have gone disastrously badly. But I needn’t have worried about meeting them, within ten minutes of arriving in the designated pub in London it felt like I was with people that I’d known for a long time. But the fact that I wasn’t drinking Guinness did raise more than a few questions. I don’t get asked those questions now by anybody, which is due to the people of the View Askew Message Board.
Since that day, every time that I’ve boarded a plane has been for the purpose of going to a View Askew event or to get to be in the company of the people who post on the Board. It’s a lot of trouble to go to just to see a group of people but it is worth the hassle to be in a group of people who are almost universally instantly accepting. When I think of my best days, they almost all involve nerd folk in some capacity or another, from dancing at the View Askew Prom to not meeting Richard Dean Anderson to randomly meeting Kevin Smith in Toys R Us in Times Square. Nerd folk just make life better.
To stretch the food allegory a little bit further, most of the people in the world are like crisps (potato chips for the Americans), and can fit and be welcome anywhere that they go, they’re a little bit plain and bland but they’re pretty much suited to everyone’s taste. Some people, nerds in particular are more like tostadas with jalapenos salsa, they appeal only to a very selective crowd with broader tastes. The thing is though; the people of broader tastes are much better to hang with and will accept you in any shape, size or guise. When you’re in a group of people where everyone’s different, the differences are what unite you.
The worst thing about having to fly to see my friends is the amount of time spent in airports or bus terminals, or sometimes even in bars, just waiting. But having nerdy interests comes in handy in that kind of situation. It’s the easiest thing in the world to spend time messing around online talking to your friends or reading a pile of comics or finishing a book or updating a blog. A lot of nerdy activities are solitary ones, and despite how amazing hanging out with nerds can be, being a nerd means being comfortable in your own company. We do what makes us happy, not what we think looks good to other people.
The mainstream world has accepted us to a certain degree in recent years and you only have to look at shows like Chuck or The Big Bang Theory to see that geek chic is big business at the moment. But that acceptance isn’t universal and if nerdery goes too far outside what is considered normal society, we’ll still get scorned. The acceptance sometimes manifests like affectionate curiosity, and that will only go so far. Ordinary folk will still scoff at cosplayers who wear home-made costumes, deeming them weird and obsessive instead of passionate and creative, but it’s OK for someone who has never kicked a football or done a bit of exercise in his life to spend a fortune on a replica jersey of a football team and then claim affiliation to a club that’s located hundreds or thousands of miles away. But still, not a day goes by that you won’t see somebody wearing a comic book t-shirt on the street. Superheroes are fashionable due in no small part to the commercial success of movies like Batman and Spiderman. People seem more willing to accept a fantasy or science fiction idea if it’s presented to them on a screen; somehow it’s more acceptable to watch Batman than it is to read Batman. I have to admit that it is kind of gratifying to see superhero movies and Sci-Fi movies doing so well and being so popular with the general public, even if it’s just from a “see, I told you this was awesome” point of view.
But fashions change and people change with them. Eventually nerds and faux-nerdery will be unstylish again, and when that happens… nothing will change for us. We’ll keep on doing our own thing. We managed just fine before the rest of the world sat up and took notice of us, we’ll manage just fine when the rest of the world moves on to the next big thing. If you’re doing what you do because it’s what makes you happy, you don’t have to defend it or seek approval. Indulging your passions is it’s own reward.
In the same way that the cornflakes are totally oblivious of the raisins in their midst, we’ll go back to being unnoticed. But we’ll still be there, making life more interesting and making life better. Because that’s what raisins do.
– Simon Fitzgerald
The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…
(Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)
As a follow-up to the equally stunning Planet Earth, the BBC’s Life (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) is just as incredible in regards to the footage they were able to capture of the animals that populate this planet of ours. My only regret is that Americans are stuck with the crappy Oprah Winfrey narration, while the Brits get the far superior Sir David Attenborough.. Or so it was on TV. Thankfully, you get to choose what home video version you want. The 4-disc set contains behind-the-scenes video diaries, deleted scenes, and a music-only viewing option. A Blu-Ray edition ($69.99 SRP) is available with identical bonus materials, but a far, far superior picture.
So you want a stapler, hole punch, one meter ruler, precision scissors, ballpoint pen, screwdrivers (+/-), screwdriver socket, staple remover, and storage space for paper clips, all in container the size of a deck of cards? Well, the Tool Logic Office Assistant ($9.99) is the answer to the dream you never even knew you had, because it’s all in there. All of it.
I was worried that something would come along and derail Sony’s release of the complete theatrical shorts, but with The Three Stooges Collection: Volume Eight 1955-1959 (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.96 SRP), fans now have them all. This last set contains not only Shemp’s final shorts, but also the ones using the fake Shemp (where a stand-in and old footage allowed them to crank a few more Shemps out) and infamous Stooge replacement Joe Besser (famed for not wanting to be hit). Thank you, Sony, for getting them all out there.
If you’re beginning to jones for more Rifftrax shorts DVDs, you can get your fix from not one, but two new releases – Rifftrax Plays With Their Shorts & Shorts-A-Poppin’ (Legend Films, Not Rated, DVD-$9.95 each). Both discs feature 9 brand new shorts apiece, though by the time you reach the end, you’ll be counting the days until the next release.
There was a time when a Tim Burton film meant a fair deal of whimsy with a surprisingly strong core of emotion at its center. Alice In Wonderland (Walt Disney, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$44.99 SRP) is just a mess – as if Burton were simply hurling fistfuls of whimsy at you, all sound and fury. Nothing really hangs together as a narrative, and seems more like a superficial theme park ride of a flick. Sad, really. The 3-disc set contains over a dozen featurettes on the characters and behind-the-scenes, plus the always-welcome standard DVD as well.
Not only do you get the much desired original in high definition, but The Magnificent Seven Collection (MGM/UA, Not Rated/Rated G/Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$69.98 SRP) also contains the sequels Return Of The Magnificent Seven, Guns Of The Magnificent Seven, and The Magnificent Seven Ride!. The first film is loaded with an audio commentary, featurettes, trailers, and a still gallery.
Originally available as part of last year’s big Clint Eastwood box set, you can now get the Richard Schickel produced documentary The Eastwood Factor (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) all on its own. The documentary is a retrospective of Eastwood’s 35-year history at Warners. Think of it as a personal trip down memory lane, at his work both in front of and behind the camera.
They’re not quite up to the same snuff as the classic specials of the 60’s, but there’s still plenty of fun in the Peanuts: 1970’s Collection Volume 2 (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), which contains Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown, You’re A Good Sport, Charlie Brown, It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown, What A Nightmare, Charlie Brown, It’s Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown, and You’re The Greatest, Charlie Brown. The 2-disc set also contains a retrospective featurette.
Oh, History Channel – you’re not even bothering to do anything to do with hard history even more. You’ve become MTV, eager to throw up the next reality series, which you have with the garbage combers of American Pickers (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP). The 3-disc first season set contains all 12 episodes.
Fans jonesing for a hit of Meatwad, Frylock, and Master Shake can get their fix from Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Volume 7 (Cartoon Network, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), which sports 11 episodes plus behind-the-scenes featurettes, Terror Phone II, and a featurette on the live action Carl.
I really hoped you would be able to pull it off, Joe Johnston. I mean, you had Benicio Del Toro as your lead, and a strong mythology behind it, but your new take on The Wolfman (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.98 SRP) is just dull. You made a werewolf pic that just bored me to tears. It’s not bad. It’s not good. It just exists. Bonus materials include a pair of alternate endings, deleted/extended scenes, and featurettes.
When a shallow size zero supermodel dies in an accident and finds herself given the body of the recently-deceased Jane – a plus-sized attorney – you get Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$38.95 SRP). Surprisingly, it’s an affable, often funny series, even though I’d much rather have just seen a show about Jane. The first season set contains featurettes, deleted scenes, Dreamisodes, and more.
Recovering from some lost momentum, the third season of Burn Notice (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) turns back into the show we’ve all come to love. But really, as long as Bruce Campbell is back, all is good. Bonus materials include a behind-the-scenes featurette and the show’s Comic-Con panel.
Insects are the order of the say in the new Sesame release Sesame Street: Firefly Fun and Buggy Buddies (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), as the Street (and kids!) gets to learn all about the world of creepy crawlies.
So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…
-Ken Plume
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Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp
Ondine – Review
The story seems silly enough if read on paper: Local fisherman (Colin Farrell), out fishing looking for seafood to sell at the local market, finds a woman in his net (Alicja Bachleda) who doesn’t remember who she is or how she ended up caught in a man’s fishing line. He allows the woman to live in a small house located in a sleepy wharf where she can get her bearings all the while telling his young daughter who suffers from kidney failure a story that involves an Irish version of mermaids, silkies, thus bringing us to the beginning of the story. The brevity with which writer and director Neil Jordan sets up almost all of the plot points is almost fantastical in its execution. Without realizing it as someone watching the film Jordan lays out all the pertinent stories that need telling at breakneck speed.
Not only do we learn that Farrell, whose real name in the film is Syracuse but who town folk still call Circus for his legendary alcoholic antics before he gave up the sauce, is divorced from his wife, trying to put his wild days behind him, and is sharing custody of his daughter but we also learn of his troubled past as it relates to his present in a manner that seems better suited to the stage than it does the screen.
And this isn’t a knock on Jordan, mind you. I think this performance from Farrell is just as compelling as seeing him in In Bruges. The man simply melts into this man who is not a Hollywood version of a fisherman who’s lived, and still is living, a hardscrabble life he is that fisherman who only has his work and his daughter. There isn’t anything to grab onto beyond this and it’s refreshing insofar that Farrell has to lean on his ability to inhabit someone who feels more real than he does a caricature.
What Jordan does best in this movie is to put Farrell in a position to navigate the world of a man who has scooped up a gorgeous woman, and make no mistake Bachleda is a quintessential mermaid, a true flower of the ocean with her pale skin and radiant features, and understands his position as a man who could help someone not be found. Farrell buys into the mythos of the mermaid, however, when he thinks that this woman has helped changed his fortunes at sea with the amount of fish and lobster he catches with her aboard his ship but the movie is so much more than a man who thinks he’s on to something with this woman.
This is a movie about intimacy. Jordan captures an Ireland that is removed from the usual features of the Emerald Isle which are usually accentuated in a film that could have been set anywhere there was a boat and some fishing to be had. This film lives and breathes. From the small details like keeping in moments of people walking down a dirt path and the flourishes that show him to be an expert at capturing a moment, for example, when Farrell and his daughter Annie (Alison Barry) are talking during one of her dialysis treatments, the closeness of the camera and lighting creating a tender moment between a father and daughter that doesn’t feel manipulative, it feels heartfelt and sweet.
At the heart of it, of course, the mermaid has a secret and it might be one of the more typical elements of a movie that defies most every other convention when it comes to movies about two people falling in love. The brilliance of the film is that from the music to the cinematography by Christopher Doyle which just fits in with Jordan’s aesthetic here the movie has a quiet passion about it; the notes that play underneath the conversations, the shared moments between the players, this is a movie that is dependant on its acting and its pacing.
Without the ruggedness and everyman charm of Farrell, the mystery which surrounds Bachleda and how she navigates a character that has something to hide but covers it up with a thin veil of sweetness, and the precociousness of Annie who seems more like a real child her age rather than one cut from a script the movie would not be what it is. The idea of mythology and how Farrell believes this strange woman is indeed from the sea is interwoven into the film with a muted amusement while never being distracting to the actual plot of the picture.
True, Jordan’s script wavers slightly in its final act, the penultimate moment all but telegraphed leading up to the final moment when it all goes exactly to plan, but that shouldn’t take away from a movie that brims with character and is a romantic drama that just radiates talent and sweetness. There’s something to be said about living life in a small town, everyone knowing everyone else’s business, but that’s never been captured so personally and as precisely as Neil Jordan has done here.
The Wolfman – DVD Giveaway
I know some people ragged on this film for its silliness but I loved this picture in a real affectionate B-movie way.
The action was solid, the gore was viscous, the set design was spectacular and the acting was sub-par. All elements needed for a good horror film. I realize that’s not really what they were hoping to achieve on this picture but seeing how plagued the production was with shifting talent behind the camera I am amazed that this wasn’t a bigger disaster than it was because it’s still a really good film.
I am hoping this movie finds a new life on DVD and to that end I am offering copies of this movie to anyone who wants to get entered in a contest to get one. I have a few copies so your chances are fairly solid if you send me a note to Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com and simply state your all-time favorite, classic Universal movie monster.
It’s just that easy, folks.
A film description:
Inspired by the classic Universal film that launched a legacy of horror, The Wolfman brings the myth of a cursed man back to its iconic origins. Oscar® winner Benicio Del Toro stars as Lawrence Talbot, a haunted nobleman lured back to his family estate after his brother vanishes. Reunited with his estranged father (Oscar® winner Anthony Hopkins), Talbot sets out to find his brother…and discovers a horrifying destiny for himself. Lawrence Talbot’s childhood ended the night his mother died.
After he left the sleepy Victorian hamlet of Blackmoor, he spent decades recovering and trying to forget. But when his brother’s fiancée, Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt), tracks him down to help find her missing love, Talbot returns home to join the search. He learns that something with brute strength and insatiable bloodlust has been killing the villagers, and that a suspicious Scotland Yard inspector named Aberline (Hugo Weaving) has come to investigate.
As he pieces together the gory puzzle, he hears of an ancient curse that turns the afflicted into werewolves when the moon is full. Now, if he has any chance at ending the slaughter and protecting the woman he has grown to love, Talbot must destroy the vicious creature in the woods surrounding Blackmoor. But as he hunts for the nightmarish beast, a simple man with a tortured past will uncover a primal side to himself…one he never imagined existed.
A Dead End, a Resurrection and a Disturbed After.Life by Ray Schillaci
Pardon my tardiness for posting this article. I have discovered that hell is moving and movers are its minions. I’m finally able to get my work space in semi-order and hammer out my thoughts (or what’s left of them) on some other highlights of the Phoenix Film Festival. The last time I checked, only 1 out of the 3 following films had distribution deals. Each filmmaker has infused their film with their own unique vision and artistic passion which sets it far apart from the standard studio drech and they deserve an audience (film festival, small art house run and/or cable deal).
“NoNames” was the big winner and obviously struck a chord with anyone from the mid-west. This is the simple story of people growing up in small town Wisconsin with very few choices and those who pick the wrong ones. The ones that tread the wrong path have little joy to look forward to but the local bar and partying in the back of their cramped trailers. For them, success would be staying out of trouble, getting their own home (that was not a trailer), maintaining a decent job, finding love and keeping it to the best of their ability. These are obviously not priorities in the lead character’s life, Kevin, played by James Badge Dale and that’s the frustrating part of watching his life spiral out of control.
At this viewer’s first glance it was easy to dismiss many of the characters in this cautionary tale as Jerry Springer candidates and hard to connect with when the choices seemed so simple. I’ve known people like this and try not to be around them since their narrow mindedness and stubborn ways always end up creating more drama in their lives which seems to suck so many unsuspecting others in. But rather than just dismissing this as a backwoods Shakespearean drama, I had to take myself out of the critic’s seat for a moment after seeing the reaction of the audience that stayed for the Q&A. Those people were actually from small towns and their heartfelt feelings were vindicated by the director, cast and crew capturing exactly what goes on in this lifestyle that Hollywood has no clue of or interest in.
All the more heart wrenching was the discovery that it’s based on a true story. The director and co-producers were very close to the people and their account. That may explain the straightforward style of the picture. The director, Kathy Lindboe, does not accentuate the palette of the narrative with canvases, editing techniques or music. Instead she relies on her actors, the lives of their characters and the town itself. This is captured in a very blunt way that some will embrace while others may feel put off. Lindboe and her talented cast and crew have put together a hard look at small town living and dismantled any romantic conceptions that usually has Hollywood scoop up and serve the inane pabulum to an unsuspecting public. No, director Kathy Lindboe has a purpose and intends to display it without heartstrings and pretty pictures.
This film is made for small town Middle America and those who have been fortunate enough to escape it. Let me back step for a moment that is not to say that being a small town is instant doom for those who reside in it. The choices have become extremely minimal thanks to America and its politics joining in on the good ol’ global bandwagon. Small towns use to be considered the heart and soul of America and now have been under sold as a worthless commodity. This leaves many in disarray constantly searching for some kind of balance in a purposely unbalanced world. Dysfunction has become the norm and we’re told to live with it rather than address it. “NoNames” displays these symptoms with pathos and guilt, capturing a very sad side of the nation we live in.
The film is by no means perfect with some editing issues (a little long) and some much needed dialogue to be punched up. But the film struck a primal chord with the Phoenix audiences and has continued to do so with various other showings, hence the accolades. Both James Badge Dale and Gillian Jacobs turn in notable deep felt performances while the rest of the cast blend well with the tale itself. “NoNames” is not the kind of film that opens in L.A. or New York. And, it may find a struggle pulling itself out of obscurity like the characters that are portrayed, but it already has a built-in audience that could definitely give a smart distributor a reason to pick it up and make a profit on an entire heartland audience that can speak volumes.
Now for something really different; when was the last time you were truly taken on a journey that left you breathless? In the 70s there were a multitude of such films that explored the human condition and left one with so many deep conversations at small coffee shops; Michelangelo Antonioni’s “The Passenger” Nicholas Roeg’s “Walkabout” and any one of John Cassavetes’ films of that era. The Phoenix Film Festival was treated to such a personal event with Jason Lehel’s “Gaia,” an amazing journey of self realization for one troubled young woman. It appears that Lehel may be cut from the same creative cloth as those mentioned.
The director has made (what some may say) an insane proposition; to film an emotionally charged concept infused with brilliant ideas without the aid of a script and then cast an unknown in the lead role with everything hinging on her believability. On top of that, he puts her right smack dab in the middle of a real Indian reservation with non-actors. It pays off in spades! This is the art that has been missing from art houses. Lehel conjures images that haunt and have one talking for days while Emily Lape pulls off a performance that is not only Oscar worthy, but should have other actresses taking notes for years. It is a beautifully nuanced and natural piece of acting that almost feels like an intrusion into one’s life thanks to Lehel’s wonderful eye.
To say Gaia is a troubled woman with a dark past is an understatement. This young woman appears hell-bent in partying herself to death till she winds up wandering the Arizona desert in a complete drug and alcohol haze after being brutally raped. She eventually collapses and is taken in by a caring Native American Indian, named Ed. What transpires between Gaia, Ed and the other natives is a revelation. Nothing is taken for granted and Gaia’s journey is not a quick fix. It is an arduous task that is never clear if it will ever come into fruition until the very end. This is not a horrifying cautionary tale, but an ode to hope, survival and self-realization. It is both the frailness of being human and the triumph of the human spirit. The story almost takes on a cosmic sojourn with the time spent with the Native Americans and their culture.
Aside from Miss Lape’s stellar turn, Ed Mendoza as the Native American who helps her along is wonderfully touching with a lightheartedness that lifts Gaia and the viewers from the ashes of her life. He is the grounding rod to Gaia’s lightening and his sensitivity and interaction with so many others makes him even more embracing. There is also a strained, touching and nearly doomed relationship between Gaia and a deaf mute Native American. Their scenes range from the gentle to the abrasive with Gaia’s past haunting both of them.
Warning: this film is not for the simple minded. It makes you think about life and what it has to offer. Director Jason Lehel (a 25+ year veteran cinematographer) has created, for his directorial debut, a complex drama that does not follow the normal narrative. He explores time shifts, uncomfortable sexual dalliances and an exploration into a culture virtually ignored in film today. I recommend this beautiful thought provoking film to those who miss intelligent drama laced with a hint of the metaphysical. It is a rare breed and a breath of fresh air that makes one thankful for the talents of Jason Lehel and Emily Lape.
I have saved a most puzzling for last. There are times that life imitates art and other times when there is a bizarre collision that results in uncomfortable, nails on the chalk board, moments. Case in point; actress, Brittany Murphy’s recent passing in her bathroom colliding with the debut of her new movie on DVD, the cover displaying the actress dead in a bathtub”¦eerie. Now treading from eerie to damn creepy is Liam Neeson’s turn as a funeral director who claims to have a relationship with his (dead) clientele. For some, “After.Life” will be the equivalent of afterbirth; disgusting and tossed aside. But it’s not that easy for the curious at heart and as aggravating and unsettling it is to watch the film can be considered either a carefully crafted twisted piece of Grand Guignol or the demented work of a sick mind. I may save the last for another gruesome film oddity, “The Human Centipede”. After all, “After.Life” plays more with your mind than serving up stomach churning visuals.
I’m on the fence with this one since I could not help but wonder what possessed the great and respected Liam Neeson to take on such a ghoulish role and then to top it off have the love of his life pass away in an unusual accident just months after finishing the project. It adds tremendous weight to the story as we watch it unfold between Neeson’s funeral director and his new visitor Christina Ricci, who may or may not be dead. It appears that the funeral director has a gift/curse to have conversations with those on the slab who insist they are still alive and it is his job to assist them into the beyond. On the other hand, this guy may be the greatest slight-of-hand trickster since Norman Bates.
This is as cold and calculating as it sounds. Mr. Neeson gives a performance that harkens back to the good old days of the great Boris Karloff, but it is not over the top. If anything, he underplays beautifully which adds to the gruesomeness of it all. With several naked shots, Ricci is very off-putting to watch. A combination of material, performance and direction make the scenes feel very wrong, almost taboo. There is nothing sexy here, like what was delivered in “Black Snake Moan”. Ricci runs the gamut of emotions trying to figure out if she is actually dead and so do we.
Although there are others in the cast, “After.Life” is basically a two person melodrama/thriller and at times may remind one of a play. Justin Long as Paul appears to be in for the ride, once again as a long suffering boyfriend. I don’t know if it’s a casting curse, but Long’s character looks like it just traversed across the screen from the same thankless character he played in “Drag Me to Hell”. He has the ability to be engaging, but it’s wasted in movies of this sort. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was casted in “Scream 4” as another victim.
“After.Life” has played some festivals, had a limited run in April 2010 and is readying for an August 2010 DVD release. But this film cries out for the midnight show freaks. The director’s ghoulish twists and turns keep the audience on its toes and hammered to their seats while the weak may watch through parted fingers. Agitating, aggravating and like searching for a pulse that may or may not be there, “After.Life” challenges its viewers. Are you up for the challenge? Me, I had to take a good shower afterwards, remind myself it was only celluloid and look forward to a lighter side of a tanned Mr. Neeson as Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith on “The A Team”.
Prince of Pulp and Circumstance by Ray Schillaci
How easy is it to take apart another Jerry Bruckheimer spectacle that hopes to follow in the footsteps of Cecile B. Demille or is that too lofty a goal to suggest? Perhaps it’s the idea of taking another ride, toy or video game and making oodles of money on merchandising via a movie while nearly forgetting the entertainment value. Whatever it may be, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” is as convoluted as its title. Too bad, it didn’t have to be, had somebody taken a little more time with the story and direction. The movie had any number of classic yarns it could have emulated from, Ali Baba, Aladdin and so forth. Instead, gymnastics and CGI cover up plot holes, dead space and time filler.
The story is simple; a street urchin demonstrates his tenacity in a marketplace and the king of Persia not only spares his life for the spirit the young man displays, but adopts him as well. The young man grows up with royalty and like nearly everyone else learns to speak with a British accent even though they’re Persian. The only exception is Ben Kingsley, but that’s because he looks more the part, is suspicious and is far capable of acting rings around everyone else. That’s just one of the many things that irks me in this wrong minded new venture from the man that brought you “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Just to prove that, Alfred Molina is thrown in for good measure to represent the Captain Jack Sparrow character in the guise of Sheik Amar. Molina is the lighthearted rogue that is more bark than bite with a sense of humor that gets crushed in all the slam-bang antics. To be fair to Mr. Molina, he is a redeeming value in this mess and should have been spared and put to better use in the new “Pirates”¦” movie instead.
Oops, I almost forgot to finish what story there is. Jake Gyllenhall plays Dastan the adopted brother who is raised with two other good looking brothers. Without the king’s knowledge, the three march on a sacred city as a suspected enemy of their land. In doing so, Dastan accidently discovers a mystical dagger that can reverse time. The adventure starts from there and if anybody ever had a chance to see the sorrowful time waster “Next” starring Nicholas Cage, one could only guess where it will all end up. It’s the equivalent of a lot of build up and then discovering”¦it’s only a dream? That’s right, dress a pig up all you want, but in the end it’s just an overdressed heffer.
Jake Gyllenhall plays cavalier well, unfortunately it’s to Gemma Arterton’s emotionless, cardboard cutout character that makes us appreciate Keira Knightly’s underwritten character from “Pirates”¦” all the more. The CGI cities are becoming stale wastelands for the eye and are better suited for the small computer screen where they belong. The acrobatics, supposedly achieved by Gyllenhal’s character, soon become redundant after twenty minutes leaving a lot of useless commotion as time filler.
Is it unfair to ask for just a little bit of creative writing or wit from this lackluster piece? The trailers themselves could not muster up enough of a great weekend box office for this tired retread. Mind you, it’s not a bad time waster for the under 15 year-old male set. The sad part was half way through, my 10 year-old son and his year younger cousin were getting antsy. They didn’t even want to stay past the credits to see if anything would happen as some of the Disney films have. They could care less. But they did want to get the Prince of Persia lego set. They thought it was cooler than the movie.
Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.
Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.
Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.
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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #150: Golden Soles Part II – Ken & Dana return, and Dana keeps going on about his new shoes. He just won’t stop till he says enough. Then, the passing of a great comedian is argued over.
[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
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