Tag: Liam Neeson

  • Weekend Shopping Guide 1/23/15: Boxed In

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    (Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

    Much like the Pixar of yore, Laika has, through a succession of endearingly quirky films, made me anticipate whatever project they’re cooking up, and their winning streak continues with The Boxtrolls (Universal, Rated PG, 3D Blu-Ray-$49.98 SRP). Not only have they continued to refine and innovate in the age-old technique of stop-motion animation, but the tales they tell are offbeat charmers, which this story of the titular box-wearing creatures and the human boy they raise – and the threat they face – most certainly is. So just see it, and enjoy. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, featurettes, and animatics.

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    Yes, everything you’ve heard about the 12-year narrative journey of Richard Linklater’s Boyhood (Paramount, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) is absolutely true – it is unique, impressive, and just as enthralling as you’d expect a novelty to be, backed up by a solid, low-key story and a cast game to go with the flow of time. So the best I can say is watch it for yourself. Bonus materials include a featurette and a Q&A with Linklater and the cast.

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    As the 6th season hits screens, refresh your memories of where we left the down & out ISIS crew in the 5th season of Archer (Fox, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), which lives up to its “Vice” name as the team tries and fails and tries again to move a mountain of cocaine. Bonus materials include Charlene Tunt’s Wake Up Country interview, her music video for “Midnight Blues”, and Old Pam Poovey Had A Farm: The Musical.

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    Every bit as memorably iconic as its 80s contemporaries, Craig Safan’s score for the sci-fi classic The Last Starfighter (Intrada, $19.99 SRP) has been given the restored, remastered, and expanded edition it so richly deserves, and is the perfect excuse to go watch the film again.

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    Even when the story flags, there’s no denying the mesmerizing stylistic filmmaking that David Fincher brings to his adaptation of Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), about the unraveling of the lies behind a seemingly blissful marriage after the wife of Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) goes missing on their 5th anniversary, leaving a mystery and a media frenzy. Bonus materials are limited a an audio commentary from Fincher.

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    Abandoned fans fearful of never completing their personal collection of Reinhold Weege’s brilliant 80s sitcom Night Court have been saved from despair by the angels of mercy at the Warner Archive, who have made the complete Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth seasons (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$35.99 SRP each) available. That wraps up the complete run of the show for fans, and is the perfect excuse for those unaware of the show to dive in and mainline it.

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    The Warner Archive has also rooted through the vaults for another batch of never-thought-you’d-get-a-chance-to-own-this-but-here-it-is animation titles, including The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley (Warner Bros., Not Rated, MOD DVD-$29.99 SRP), Snorks: The Complete First Season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$21.99 SRP), the complete Charlie Brown And Snoopy Show (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$35.99 SRP), Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends: Season 3 (Warner Bros., Not Rated, MOD DVD-$29.99 SRP), and Beware The Batman: Season One Part Two (Warner Bros., Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$21.99 SRP).

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    Oh, and if that weren’t enough Warner Archive surprises – THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH WARNER ARCHIVE SURPRISES – they’ve also given us beautiful high definition transfers of Michael Caine & Christopher Reeve in Deathtrap (Warner Bros., Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$21.99 SRP) and the James Cagney classic Yankee Doodle Dandy (Warner Bros., Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$21.99 SRP).

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    While he may have gotten a big screen CG makeover, that uncanny valley contraption will never match the simple charm and beauty in the original stop-motion Paddington Bear (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98), the complete classic adventures of which you can get in one handy set with all 56 episodes, plus 3 bonus half hour specials and 13 episodes of the animated series The Adventures Of Paddington Bear.

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    Nickelodeon’s bizarre but addictively fun Cat Dog (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP) finally gets a complete series set all its own, collecting all 68 episodes together in one place. Who can deny revisiting the adventures of everyone’s favorite conjoined cat and dog brothers?

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    Aaron Sorkin’s current endearing soapbox returns with the second season of The Newsroom (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$79.98 SRP), as the Atlantis Cable News team faces an internal crisis brought on by a lawsuit from a fired producer as election coverage looms. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, deleted scenes, and featurettes.

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    If Taken series has proven anything, it’s that just about anything with Liam Neeson is worth watching for Liam Neeson, and that certainly applies to A Walk Among The Tombstones (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$24.98 SRP), in which Liam Neeson stars as Liam Neeson playing an ex-cop turned PI who helps a heroin trafficker hunt down his wife’s killers. Bonus materials include a pair of featurettes.

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    After five seasons, Boardwalk Empire (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$79.98 SRP) comes to an end 6 years after the events of season 4, as Prohibition winds down, the Great Depression is in full swing, and Steve Buscemi’s Nucky is looking for a legal angle to stay afloat. Bonus materials include audio commentaries and a featurette on the show’s location scouting.

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    There’s a quiet desperation to all of the series that have popped up as of late, hoping in some way to cash on to the genre action success being enjoyed by the likes of Game Of Thrones and Walking Dead, so it’s no surprise that executive producer Michael Bay has thrown in with his pirate tale Black Sails (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$59.99 SRP), about a fierce pirate captain who finds himself at odds with the British Navy over the control of the lawless New Providence Island. Bonus materials include a bounty of featurettes.

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    I can’t even really say I’m hate-watching Girls (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP), as it engenders more of a dumbfounded reaction to the antics of its wacky nonsensical characters. It was in the third season that it really went deliriously off the rails, which you can now watch in one sitting in full HD glory. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, deleted/extended scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.

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    Absorb some classic Bikini Bottom hijinx before the big screen sequel hits theaters with Spongebob Squarepants: The Pilot , A Mini-Movie And The Square Shorts (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP), which features a mini-movie, 42 shorts, and the original pilot presentation, plus the 3-DVD Spongebob Squarepants: Triple Pack (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP), which collects the single-disc catalogue titles Heroes Of Bikini Bottom, 10 Happiest Moments, and Legends Of Bikini Bottom.

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    Team up Luc Besson with Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman? Say no more. I’m in. It’s just an added benefit that Lucy (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$34.98 SRP) is an enjoyably brisk sci-fi tale that turns Johansson into an accidentally genetically-enhanced warrior capable of using 100% of her brain capacity, who turns the tables on her captors. Bonus materials include a pair of featurettes.

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    There are plenty of companies out there picking up the catalogue slack and releasing deep cut films from a lot of major studios, but one of the best of the lot in terms of quality are the folks at Olive, who just dropped a batch of high def remasters from the Paramount archives – the Cold War film noir World For Ransom (Olive, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.95 SRP), the Civil War drama Woman They Almost Lynched (Olive, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.95 SRP), crime drama Track The Man Down (Olive, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.95 SRP), and the noir mystery The Weapon (Olive, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.95 SRP).

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    Best known for appearances on Chelsea Lately, Heather McDonald gets her first solo special with Heather McDonald: I Don’t Mean To Brag (Inception, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP). So if you’re keen on a laugh this weekend, here you go.

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    The ridiculously creepy doll from The Conjuring gets her own solo horror prequel in Annabelle (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), as the absolute worst gift a husband could give to his vintage doll collecting wife. Bonus features include a clutch of featurettes and deleted scenes.

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    Mill Creek continues their fine tradition of providing catalogue titles to fill your free time at an exceptionally astounding value price. The latest batch from them include a 13-film At Death’s Door (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP) horror collection, the 13-film Scared Silly (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP) horror Comedy collection, and a sci-fi double feature of Krull/Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone (Mill Creek, Rated PG, DVD-$9.98 SRP). On the TV side, they’ve got re-releases of The Cosby Show: Season 5 & 6 (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), Party Of Five: Season 2 (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), and Married With Children: Season 7 & 8 (Mill Creek, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP). And to round things off, they’ve got hi-def releases of Chris Columbus’s Heartbreak Hotel (Mill Creek, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$9.98 SRP) and the 7-part documentary Emancipation Road (Mill Creek, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$9.98 SRP).

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    Take an economical journey under the sea in Dora’s Mermaid Adventures Collection (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$22.98 SRP), a two-disc compilation of Dora The Explorer’s previously available aquatic exploits Dora Saves The Mermaids and Dora’s Rescue In Mermaid Kingdom.

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    Somehow, the adaptation of Ayn Rand’s ridiculous farce gets a final cinematic installment with Atlas Shrugged Part III: Who Is John Galt? (Fox, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$29.99SRP), as audiences shrugged and responded, “Who cares?”. Bonus materials include featurettes and cast interviews.

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    Let’s wrap up the week with a solid tweak of your pop culture sweet spot with a bit of throwback wonderment, as Diamond Select Toys releases your friendly neighborhood wallcrawler as part of its deluxe Legendary Marvel Super-Heroes (Diamond Select Toys, $80) line. Not only do you get a retro-tastic re-creation of the original Mego Amazing Spider-Man figure in its rare costume variant, but you also get an updated costume and head, a Peter Parker head & costume, and a ton of accessories, from webshooters to a camera and more. .

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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  • Weekend Shopping Guide 6/24/11: Half-Blood Who

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    (Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

    By now, fans know what to expect from Warners deep, dense, impressively comprehensive Harry Potter Ultimate Editions, which means the wait for the rest of the series to get the treatment has sometimes been quite a hard one to bear. Thankfully, we’re nearing the end with the release of Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix: Ultimate Edition & Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince: Ultimate Edition (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP each). Not only do the films themselves look incredible, given room to breathe on their own discs, but the second disc packed with the latest installments of the spectacular “Creating the World of Harry Potter” documentary series, as well as deleted scenes and all of the bonus materials from the original releases, will make the long wait for the final films to get their turn at bat deeply painful. Here’s hoping they arrive soon.

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    Although they seem to be agonizingly slow in adding to their offerings – and I wish they’d really dive into the action figure side of things – the fine folks at have imported a pair of Doctor Who board game for the whole family. Doctor Who: Battle To Save The Universe ($34.99) is for ages 6+, while Doctor Who: The Time Wars ($24.99) is older-skewing for ages 8+. Both are fun and worth a spin for Who fans.

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    The BBC has kicked their classic Doctor Who release schedule into overdrive, very rightly taking advantage of the modern show’s growing success in the US, as a new month brings a pair of new releases. From the 5th Doctor Peter Davison’s era we get Frontios (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$ SRP), plus the very first adventure of 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy, Time And The Rani (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP). As usual, both are loaded to the gills with bonus materials, including audio commentaries, in-depth documentaries, featurettes, deleted scenes, and more. Stellar, as always.

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    I admit, I was one of those who didn’t exactly anticipate the Coen Brothers’ take on True Grit (Paramount, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), as I quite liked the original adaptation of the Charles Portis novel, starring John Wayne in the iconic role of one-eyed U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn. And, while it certainly hits its own beats, I did wind up enjoying this new take on the material, including Jeff Bridges’ portrayal of Rooster. So, really, see both versions. And read the book. You’ll enjoy them all. Bonus materials include seven behind-the-scenes featurettes and the theatrical trailer.

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    Like the two previous films before it, the third Jackass film gets a Jackass 3.5 (Paramount, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$22.99 SRP) expanded edition hot on the heels of its regular release, featuring additional footage, deleted scenes, featurettes, and outtakes. Because you know you can’t resist buying it. You can’t resist.

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    Being part of a family of New Yorkers, I’d always hear many a story of growing up in the 30s, 40s, & 50s, but I never hear much about the sort of games city kids of that period would play – which is why I found the documentary New York Street Games (Kaboom!, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP) so much fun, as it features first-hand accounts from many a local and celebrity of all of the obscure games those Big Apple kids would play. Check it out.

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    If you don’t use drugs or live in Brooklyn but want to experience what it must be like, check out Yo Gabba Gabba: Circus (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP), the latest collection of hipster psychedelic episodes of the show ostensibly aimed at preschool children.

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    I run hot and cold on Norm Macdonald, but there’s no denying he has a unique comedic voice, which is well-represented in his Comedy Central standup special Norm Macdonald: Me Doing Standup (Comedy Central, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP). In addition to the extended, uncensored version of the special, the disc also contains the pilot episode of Back To Norm, an animated featurette, and Norm’s roast of Bob Saget.

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    Shout Factory continues to re-release formerly out-of-print Mystery Science Theater 3000 titles for those who may have missed them during their first go-round years and years ago – The latest two being Mystery Science Theater 3000: Hamlet & Mystery Science Theater 3000: Gunslinger (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 each). Sure, they’re barebones releases, but it’s good to be able to get them again.

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    I enjoyed the quirky charms of the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and am happy that the sequel, Diary Of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (Fox, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) didn’t drop the ball, delivering a modern equivalent of the classic A Christmas Story in its wry storytelling about the titular put-upon kid as the domestic war with his older brother escalates. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.

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    MGM is becoming even more prolific than Warners when it comes to releasing their MOD catalogue titles. The latest batch includes such obscure titles as Michael Moriarty & Yaphet Kotto in Report To The Commissioner (MGM, Rated PG, DVD-$19.98), Errol Flynn in The Big Boodle (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98), James Coburn & the great Walter Pidgeon in the pickpocketing flick Harry In Your Pocket (MGM, Rated PG, DVD-$19.98), and the incredible combination of Lee Majors, Abe Vigoda, & Don Rickles in Keaton’s Cop (MGM, Rated R, DVD-$19.98).

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    And if that weren’t enough, MGM has also dropped the adaptation of the Spike Milligan memoir Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98), Laura Dern in Haunted Summer (MGM, Rated R, DVD-$19.98), Elizabeth Montgomery in mob flick Johnny Cool (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98), and Bob Hope in the jungle comedy Call Me Bwana (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98).

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    It’s not The Hangover, but Ed Helms more than elevates the amiable comedy Cedar Rapids (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP), which finds Helms stars as a small town insurance agent whose life becomes derailed when he heads to the titular big city and finds himself being dragged into the misadventures of a wild party animal (John C. Reilly). Bonus materials include deleted scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.

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    I enjoyed the heck out of the first season of his chat and music show, so I looked forward greatly to diving into Spectacle: Elvis Costello With… Season Two (VSC, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$39.95 SRP), and this new batch doesn’t disappoint, with the likes of Levon Helm, Bruce Springsteen, Lyle Lovett, Nicke Lowe, Neko Case, and more.

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    While we’re waiting for another full season set, pass the time with the latest intermediary single-disc clutch of episodes – Spongebob Squarepants: Heroes Of Bikini Bottom (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP), featuring eight episodes plus animated shorts and a bonus episode of T.U.F.F. Puppy.

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    If you give a Twilight-y take to the story of Red Riding Hood (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), you pretty much know what you’re going to get – a sweaty teen romance-y thing wrapped up in a werewolf tale of forbidden love and… Oh, you get the picture. It looks nice, though, and has Gary Oldman – so it’s not all bad. Bonus materials include a picture-in-picture commentary, featurettes, music videos, and a gag reel.

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    I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with the premise of Hall Pass (New Line, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), which presents a pair of married couples – Jason Sudekis & Christine Applegate and Owen Wilson & Jenna Fischer – that are hitting a bit of a rough patch in their marriages. The solution? Their wives give them a “hall pass” from marriage, allowing them to act as if they weren’t married for a week. Yeah. The only thing that makes the film a watchable, and almost enjoyable, enterprise is the cast itself, including a criminally underused Stephen Merchant. Bonus materials include an additional scene and a gag reel.

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    Every few years, Elvira rises and a new clutch of fun presentations of truly horrible horror flicks surfaces, the latest being a pair of double feature releases under the banner Elvira’s Movie MacabreThe Satanic Rites of Dracula/The Werewolf Of Washington & Night Of The Living Dead/I Eat Your Skin (E1, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP each). Both discs also sport behind-the-scenes featurettes and videos.

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    I’m all for animated adaptations of classic Marvel comic book stories, which is why having some of the unfortunate material written by Marvel pariah Brian Michael Bendis adapted first cuts deep. The latest is Spider-Woman: Agent Of SWORD (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$14.97 SRP), which contains featurettes and a music video. If you’re keen on the high definition version, you can also get Spider-Woman: Agent of SWORD/Iron Man: Extremis (Shout Factory, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$26.97 SRP) on a single Blu-Ray disc with all of the same bonus features of their individual DVD releases, as a Best Buy exclusive.

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    Give your 3D TV (or computer) a little bit of art and a little bit of not-so-art with Cirque Du Soleil: Journey Of Man in 3D (Sony, Rated G, Blu-Ray-$19.95 SRP) and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2011 3D Experience (Sony, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$19.95 SRP). Can you figure out which is which?

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    Much like Curb Your Enthusiasm proved a radical, welcome breath of fresh air from the standard sitcom, so too does Louis CK’s Louie (Fox, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) set a brand new standard for all other to aspire to, as its about as raw, genuine, and uniquely funny as you can get. Never seen it? See it now. Pick this set up and see it now. RIGHT NOW. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, deleted scenes, and the Fox Movie Channel Writer’s Draft episode.

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    There’s something eminently enjoyable in seeing Liam Neeson stretch his action star legs in Unknown (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), where he awakens from a car accident to find that his wife doesn’t recognize him, another man has taken his identity, and assassins are hunting him down. I know, right? Bonus materials include a pair of featurettes.

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    In a welcome move, Shout Factory has recently acquired rights to produce full-season sets of classic Nickelodeon series, including the complete first season of Rocko’s Modern Life (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$19.93 SRP). The 2-disc set contains all 13 episodes.

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    Fans can now pick up the second volume of the first season of Nickelodeon’s inexplicably popular Monkees pastiche Big Time Rush (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP), featuring 6 episodes plus the TV movie “Big Time Concert”, plus a featurette and the pilot episode of House Of Anubis.

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    The problems with Michael Bay’s The Island (Paramount, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP) is the problem that most of his films have – a high concept like a pair of clones becoming self-aware and asserting their independence falls under the weight of Bay’s clunky, dunder-headed lack of intelligence in his filmmaking. But it does contain a lot of pretty explosions and chases. Now THOSE are Bay strengths. Bonus materials include an audio commentary and a trio of featurettes.

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    We’re now up to the 4th season of Squidbillies (Adult Swim, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), and I like the show no better than I did when it started. Regardless of my thoughts, it has plenty of fans who are looking forward to owning the 10 episodes contained on this discs, plus the convention panel, featurettes, and galleries.

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    I don’t know what kind of elaborate magicks they’re practicing, but the folks over at Hot Toys continue to produce the absolute best 12″ collectible figures on the market, featuring exquisitely detailed and accurate costuming and downright realistic likenesses. To say that the paint work on the sculpts is perfect is an understatement. If you don’t believe me, pick up their newly-released 12″ of Chris Hemsworth as Thor ($169.99) from the fine folks at Sideshow Collectibles, and you’ll see just how perfect it is. Not only do you get a metal (and magnetized) Mjolnir, but you also get a rocky base upon which to set it, if you’d like to give your other figures the opportunity to see if they’re worthy. Bottom line? Get this figure while you still can.

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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  • Trailer Park: A-TEAM Review

    By Christopher Stipp

    The Archives, Right Here

    Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

    A-Team – Review

    a_team_posterThe tagline to the 2010 version of the A-Team is that There Is No Plan B. Unfortunately, there seems to have been no Plan A, either.

    Watching director/writer Joe Carnahan’s latest action opus you half wonder if he really thought that having characters with absolutely no backstory, no lives to speak of prior to what we see when we hit the ground literally running on the opening fifteen minutes of the film was an especially good idea. Certainly having a Quinton “˜Rampage’ Jackson fill in the shoes left by the charismatic Mr. T in the 80’s might have seemed good in theory but, in execution, it was a miserable decision. Jackson tosses out T’s wildly popular refrain “Fool” as if he were a drunken slob performing it in front of the venerable TV action star in jest. Jackson seems to be well enough equipped to perform as his own if he weren’t trying to inhabit the body of a character decades old but it does feel old. This movie feels old.

    What Carnahan’s camera work, accurately depicting what it would look like if you were to strap a movie camera on a paint shaker and left to run, disappointingly fails to accomplish is a sense of visceral action, of fun. In Smokin’ Aces, Carnahan’s last directorial outing, the camera was in love with what it was capturing; be it Jeremy Piven’s descent into madness, the Tremor brother’s equally impassioned decent into madness, or the action that punctuating the moments where mayhem was the name of the game, that film should have set Carnahan up here to make something with an even bigger budget to blow things up. What we get, however, is humor that doesn’t cut as deep as Aces and action set pieces that simply feel perfunctory than they do a visceral part of what we all want. What we all want the whole time, mind you, is one that captures Carnahan’s talents but when the movie takes no time to give these four men, Hannibal (Liam Neeson), Face (Bradley Cooper), B.A. Baracus, and Murdock (Sharlto Copley) any sense of camaraderie or kinship these men are all expendable.

    The story itself is painfully simplistic: while performing the kinds of things that the A-Team is known for doing in Iraq, while we don’t know what these things are we do see some of our members strategically battle scarred (Cooper, who has a lot of screen time without his shirt on) for proper effect, they’re offered a job. The job has them retrieving American currency printing plates from the dirty clutches of Iraqis who are up to no good. With shocking ease and movie magic that elevates what these men pull off to heights that even the most forgiving person with a good suspension of disbelief would think is insane, the men do the impossible, literally, and are framed once the job goes south. The men, wanting to clear their good name, are freed by a little nudging of CIA agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson, who plays his part with as much listless gusto as Edward Norton did in the Italian Job) go on the hunt for the plates in a story that presents no speed bumps or obstacles too realistic that these men can’t overcome.

    The fault, primarily, lies at the feet of Carnahan, Brian Bloom, and Skip Woods. The former, Carnahan, has no excuse. Both Narc and Smokin’ Aces still hold up as examples for how great and pulpy screenwriting can be and the writing here just reeks of someone who has no interest in logic or depth. Bloom, on the other hand, has an excuse. This is his foray into credited screenwriting after over a 25 year career in Hollywood and if his character in the film (Pike) was any indication of the kind of material he’s capable of producing it’s a sad indication of how one-dimensional he decided to present. However, writer Skip Woods has written such action films as Hitman and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. These two films take the wonder out of trying to decipher why there is no blood coursing through the people we see on the screen, why they feel as alive as a piece of scenery, pawns to be simply moved at the whims of a script that deems it so without any fundamental reasoning.

    The wafer thin love subplot between Cooper and Jessica Biel (Charisa Sosa) is a particularly curious addition to the film in that it too feels like it was put there simply to keep it being a premature sequel to The Expendables. A woman and man do not a romance make and the nonexistence of chemistry or, again, deeper history between these two fails to help make this a compelling relationship to care about in any meaningful way. The direction that Gerald McRaney’s (General Morrison) character goes not only feels like lazy scriptwriting but it’s a shameful callback to old Scooby-Doo episodes where the big reveal depends on a literal unmasking. All that was missing in this movie was for these men to all wake up and realize they were just fantasizing the idea that they were all a super team impervious to logic or reality.

    This was a movie that is supposed to be fun to watch because we want to see these men overcome the danger of being the hunted while also being on the hunt. The failure to capture the sense these men were in any real danger of either being taken back into custody or being killed on assignment almost makes you wonder whether if this ought to have been shown on NBC as a movie of the week if this was how toothless the movie was going to play out on the screen.

    When one of the best compliments you get from a critic who actually gave a positive review of your film remarks about the good-lookingness of your lead actor as a reason why people will like your movie, there’s something wrong with it. We ought to embrace the mayhem and excitement of men like this on the loose, fighting two sides of the law, and we ought to have been given a movie that took an OK television show to explosive heights. Instead, we have a pack of actors just wandering in a movie where you simply don’t care what happens to them. We just want them off our screen so we can go home.

  • Weekend Shopping Guide 5/15/09: To Boldly Go

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    (Please support Quick Stop by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

    There are many catalogue titles whose arrival in high definition have been long awaited, and near the tippy top of the nerd list (I count myself amongst you, my brothers and sisters) is the Star Trek feature films. The arrival of JJ Abrams’s big screen revamp means that we get the 6 films comprising the original cast’s own cinematic adventures, all contained in the Star Trek: Original Motion Picture Collection (Paramount, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$139.99 SRP). All 6 films are in their original theatrical cuts (meaning no Motion Picture director’s cut, or extended cuts of II & VI). You do get most of the special features contained in the 2-disc special editions from a few years back, plus new audio commentaries and featurettes. The biggest bonus, though, is an exclusive 7th disc – a 70-minute conversation between William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, and host Whoopi Goldberg titled “Star Trek: The Captain’s Summit”.

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    This past winter, things got a bit dry in the ol’ air I was a’ breathin’. Not wanting to cart out the massive room humidifier I had occasionally used in years past, I instead suffered through the dryness. If only I knew then about the Personal Humidifier ($59.99), I would have been far happier. As you can see in the picture, it’s a small, portable humidifier that gets its water source from your average bottled water bottle. It also runs pretty darn quietly, has low energy usage, and is something you could easily throw into your luggage and take on a trip.

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    Even though the new Star Trek film effectively eliminates all of these stories from continuity (big nerd boo!), the eight episodes – 4 on each – contained on the single disc Best Of Star Trek: The Original Series and Best Of Star Trek: The Next Generation (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP each) really are the cream of the crop. The TOS set features “The City On The Edge Of Forever”, “The Trouble With Tribbles”, “Balance Of Terror”, and “Amok Time”. The TNG set features “The Best Of Both Worlds” Part I & II, “Yesterday’s Enterprise”, and “The Measure Of A Man”.

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    Some see it as the film the broke the back of the Star Trek franchise, poking fun at some of the barnacles that had long ago become franchise cliches. Nonsense. I see Galaxy Quest (Dreamworks, Rated PG, DVD-$14.98 SRP) as a wonderful, post-modern celebration of the classic Star Trek series, from its sci-fi tech to its message, and the writing and actors that brought it all to life. Galaxy Quest has just gotten a newly remastered special edition, with a clutch of new featurettes and deleted scenes, in addition to the materials from the original release.

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    For some inexplicable reason, North America’s first DVD introduction to the wonderful Kingdom (BFS, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) – starring Stephen Fry as a small town lawyer – is starting with the release of the show’s second series. Why? I have no idea. Pick this up, but here’s hoping they hurry up and release the first series.

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    Penn & Teller are back on the case, exposing bullshit for what it is in the complete sixth season of the appropriately titled Penn & Teller: Bullshit (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). Their targets this time include NASA, porn, new age medicine, dolphins, sleep, green products, sensitivity training, child safety, nostalgia, and world peace. Yes… They call bullshit on world peace. I love these guys.

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    Remind yourself of Tom Hanks’s mulleted-glory in full high definition via the new extended cut of The Da Vinci Code (Sony, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$38.96 SRP). Not only does the 2-disc set contain the enbiggened cut, but is also contains a 5-minute preview of the sequel Angels & Demons, an audio commentary, and a whopping 17 behind-the-scenes featurettes.

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    Launched as an online extension of his low-cost animation empire, Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$22.97 SRP) comes to DVD in a collection of all of the shorts released so far. Bonus features include a red carpet featurette and galleries. A Blu-Ray edition ($24.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus features.

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    Liam Neeson plays a father (and ex-CIA agent) who’s hot on the trail of his kidnapped daughter in the surprisingly engaging thriller Taken (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.98 SRP), as the seemingly quiet man calls upon his CIA training to try and piece the puzzle of her whereabouts together. Bonus features include audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and side-by-side scene comparisons A Blu-Ray edition ($39.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

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    It’s no great flick, but there was a certain B-movie horror punch to The Grudge (Sony, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$28.95 SRP) that only the Japanese can deliver with enough psychological hoo-ha to make it all seem classy, and now you can see it all in high definition (with identical bonus features to the standard release). This is happening because the far lesser new installment, Grudge 3 (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP) is making its own DVD debut, with deleted scenes and a pair of featurettes.

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    Remember all those TV shows you bought on DVD? Well, you might as well get used to re-buying them all on Blu-Ray, particularly when shows like CSI get a high definition season 1 release (Paramount, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$89.99 SRP) presented in 16×9 for the first time, plus a director’s cut of the pilot and all of the featurettes, promos, deleted scenes, and outtakes found on the original release. That’s right – start saving pennies.

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    I suppose somewhere, in some universe, someone was hoping for a direct-to-video sequel to Donnie Darko focusing on the now grown-up sister of Donnie and her own encounters with time-hopping bunnies and bizarreness. Well, that person will be happy to hear about the existence of S. Darko (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$22.98 SRP), which does exactly that. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, and a pair of featurettes, A Blu-Ray edition ($29.99 SRP) is also available, with identical features.

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    The House of Mouse continues its Walt Disney Animation Collection of classic short films with the release of a new trio of discs featuring The Wind In The Willows, The Tortoise And The Hare, and The Reluctant Dragon (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP each). Each disc also contains of clutch of additional shorts mostly themed to the title short.

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    Kicking back with more comforting junk food comedy in the form of the complete fifth season of Two And A Half Men (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP) is always an option. The 4-disc set contains all 19 episodes, plus the episode of CSI written by the Two And A Half writing staff, a featurette about the crossover, a look at the show’s 100th episode, and a spotlight on the rotating end title cards.

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    The latest Marvel premium format figure from the fine folks at Sideshow Collectibles is none other than that prince of the deep, the sovereign ruler of Atlantis, Prince Namor, The Sub-Mariner ($244.99). Namor stands 18″ high, and the Sideshow exclusive edition (limited to only 350 pieces) comes with a replaceable hand wielding the incredible trident you see pictured below.

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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