FRED Entertainment

March 11, 2009

Win THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN VOLUMES 2 & 3 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:35 am

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In conjunction with Sony Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) sets of both THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN VOLUME 2 and THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN VOLUME 3 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 1st.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 1st.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win THE SMURFS: TRUE BLUE FRIENDS on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:22 am

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In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away four (4) copies of THE SMURFS: TRUE BLUE FRIENDS on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 1st.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 1st.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

March 9, 2009

A Bit Of A Chat with Ken Plume & Bo Burnham

Filed under: A Bit Of A Chat With Ken Plume,Interviews — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:51 am

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I’m Ken Plume, and soon you’ll be listening to “A Bit Of A Chat” with me, Ken Plume.

In this episode, I’m having a bit of a chat with comedian, actor, and musician Bo Burnham.

YouTube has spawned many an overnight star, but most of them burn hot and then are extinguished by cold, dark apathy as fickle audiences move on to the next thing.

Tortured star metaphor aside, comedian Bo Burnham is the rare exception to that tragic metaphor, as he’s been able to forge a stand-up career – and a path in Hollywood – since posting his first music video on the site at age 16.

Since then, he’s secured an agent, landed a Comedy Central special (airing on March 27th), is releasing an album (on March 10th, which also includes a DVD of the aforementioned special), and is currently writing the script and music for a film that’s been described as the anti-High School Musical for Judd Apatow.

Be sure to visit his official website at www.BoBurnham.com

What follows is my conversation with Bo. It’s certainly one of the more unique interviews I’ve done, conducted soon after one of his college shows was met by a small group of student protesters. Nobody said edgy comedy was universal.

Here now is my chat with Bo Burnham… Hope you enjoy…

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Download “A Bit of a Chat with Ken Plume & Bo Burnham“:

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Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

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Drop Ken a line HERE.

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You can also find more of my interviews by clicking HERE.

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SModcast 79

Filed under: SModcast — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:46 am

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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 79: Paging Doctor Bejerot –

In which our heroes shine a light on the past, the future, and the parking lot of a Canadian strip mall.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 79 (MP3 format) – 71.22 MB

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SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes Subscribe to this Podcast via FeedBurner

Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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March 6, 2009

Trailer Park: WATCHMEN – Review and Interviews

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

And now, you can follow me on Twitter. Find me here, my oh so original name on the thing is Stipp so come on and follow my stray ramblings. From standing in a pool of toilet water to talking about nothing of great importance you can ensure that I send out quality.

I don’t care what the cool people say.

The hipsters of the world will have you believe that Comic-Con is a big bloated mess of a convention and that it’s better left to the overweight Chun-Li, Slave Leia, and Wonder Woman impersonators of the world who want to show off their well-deserved muffin tops and cottage cheese thighs. I say “pshaw!” to that as this convention, really, always ends up being the highlight of my summer. I get to go back and see the people who I identify with the most and it allows me to get the hell out of Arizona in order to get moments like this.

Correspondents who operate out of LA or out of some other major market can’t appreciate what it’s like to be starved for material and access to anyone related with the films we cover so when I had the chance to be a part of these roundtables I couldn’t pass it up. It’s no secret that I abhor the roundtable process, that I am genuinely jealous of any Tom, Dick or Harry who gets even so much as 5 minutes with someone connected to a high-profile film (It’s what brings all the boys to the virtual yard, so to speak) as it’s tough enough trying to sell an editor on running an interview with the guy who might have held a kleig light for a pick-up scene from WANTED so having the full cast from WATCHMEN talk about their roles, months and months before anyone would glimpse what this was all going to look like, was a welcome opportunity.

Every single person was a live wire when it came to talking about this movie. I think this was one of those moments when you could actually believe the bullshit: these guys got it. Whether they could execute Snyder’s direction, that was still an unknown but looking back at these interviews after seeing the finished film I am struck at how their words weren’t hollow. They all worked as tiny cogs in a bigger wheel that Zack Snyder was tireless in creating. I hope you watch some of what these kids have to say as I equally hope you like this more than having to actually read another WATCHMEN interview.
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PART 1:


PART 2:

Thanks to Ken Plume for the assist in getting these things digitized in an easily digestible format.

WATCHMEN – A REVIEW

Alan Moore, from a recent interview which makes his take on the adaptation of his graphic novel: I think that adaptation is largely a waste of time in almost any circumstances. There probably are the odd things that would prove me wrong. But I think they’d be very much the exception. If a thing works well in one medium, in the medium that it has been designed to work in, then the only possible point for wanting to realize it on ‘multiple platforms,’ as they say these days, is to make a lot of money out of it. There is no consideration for the integrity of the work, which is rather the only thing as far as I’m concerned.”

“Can one desire too much of a good thing?” As You Like It, Act IV, Sc. I

When director Lambert Hillyer took on Batman in the 1940’s, bringing the great cowled one to the screen for what was the first of many live action iterations, he made Bruce Wayne something more akin to a savior for the public than the vigilante lunatic he really is when you take the time to break down the idea. Of course, comics are a place of Never Never Land and Hillyer, over a half-century ago, embraced that false sense of reality. Comics embraced this false sense of reality. Superman was the indestructible force that indirectly belonged solely to the United States. Of course, he would fly to Germany to set things straight during World War II, we can’t have too much reality getting in the way of our comics, but it was escapism. And kids loved it.

Then those kids grew up and saw the world was obviously a lot more gray than the hard and fast black and white of their pulpy confections.

Alan Moore was one of those kids who saw the world of comics as fertile ground for a little existential exercise into what it means to be a hero, a cape, a crusader for people. What he came up, The Watchmen, is the perfect blending of thoughtful prose, dynamic characters and a storyline, in postmodern theory, that we all take for granted today. Could anyone debate whether THE DARK KNIGHT could have worked in the 50’s or 60’s? Sure, but the real answer is that before Moore took on the task of throwing childish comics and melding it with the seedy, dank recesses of culture’s greatest sins and vices there wasn’t a language to interpret it. Any cultural anthropologist worth their salary will tell you that the 40s and 50s were not, in fact, any gem to be revered in American society. There were the same social problems then as there is now and Moore has bridged the generation gap to show and prove the biggest point, in my opinion, of his graphic novel: Man’s inhumanity to man will never cease or relent. Rape, murder, violence, malevolence will always reign exist somewhere in our collective lives and to think different about it not only makes you ignorant of the facts but part of the larger problem.

What Zack Snyder has done, you see, is distilled equal parts commentary and equal parts violence and mashed it together with a love story that, for better or worse, doesn’t leave you completely despairing over the fate of humankind. The real exciting thing about this film is that you have one of two ways to enter this picture: 1) completely oblivious to the source material or 2) somewhat knowledgeable of everything that’s going to happen. I happened to be in the latter camp while the person I went with fell squarely in the former. Both of us were impacted by Snyder’s vision and ended up on the same side of the discussion as the movie let out. Really, if you meditate on it, Snyder had to account for both audiences. He wanted to keep the fidelity to the source material closer than anyone else could have done it but he needed to make sure there were enough bread and circuses to keep the masses happy. This graphic novel eschews violence insofar as it is a commentary on the human condition, these “heroes” completely fallible and broken, human, and the lengths some will go to prove how committed they are to their ideals.

For Rorschach, the violence feels wholly a function of his upbringing, his life as a neglected and abused child; his actions, lunatic though he may be, serve his warped sensibilities in a way that no one has ever explored before. Sure, we have countless comic versions on this theme but to say Alan Moore was the first to do it would be to give short shrift to the other personalities he was able to lay claim to examining. Dr. Manhattan, a God of a man given to fits of dissonance to those who want him to be their savior, while he sees the human population for what they are: parasitic organisms obsessed with self-destruction. Billy Crudup’s syllogistic intonations and ruminations are the highlights of this film as his words feel less like comic monologues but observations on humankind that are disturbingly real. The Nite Owl, played by Patrick Wilson is pure delight. Pathetic, to be sure, impotent and a bit of a wimp to begin this is the character that you root for as you see the struggle in the man’s spirit. Too modest to be a lecherous knave like The Comedian, Dan wants to be more than he is. He is not content to be useless to a country that doesn’t want him but he’s not the same man we know him to be by the end of the movie as he was when we first meet him. Wilson is easily one of the bright spots in a movie that doesn’t have a lot of light to give. His relationship with Dr. Manhattan’s on again, off again lady, Silk Spectre brings humanity to a movie that is on genuine need of it.

However, it’s The Comedian’s turn as the resident sleaze, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, that is the only real downfall of this film. In flashbacks to when he was still alive and kicking ass Morgan plays him with a bombast that doesn’t quite work well on the screen. He feels campy, like he’s almost putting on a show. The Comedian should have come across as more brusque and sinister but what we get is a comic book interpretation of what The Comedian seems to be. His moments in the film are hit or miss when it comes to their effectiveness but it’s usually those he is playing off who come off as the real deal. Dr. Manhattan, in comparison, wipes the screen clear with his blueness and flat tonality. I would hazard a guess as to say that Crudup is the very best part of this movie and he, along with Rorschach, make the running time seem meaningless. Crudup understands Manhattan in a way that I don’t think I have when you consider Crudup’s tone. He is smooth, almost whispering. You forget this is a god among men as when he talks he makes complete and total sense. The moment he has with Malin Akerman on Mars is worth your full attention. Rorschach, as previously mentioned, is completely arresting and, oddly, sympathetic at times. As an example, and all bad Christian Bale voice comparisons aside, when Jackie Earle Haley is having his impromptu psych evaluation inside the state penitentiary, Jackie thunderously blends voice over, performance and nuance that when he dispatches a child molester you not only recoil in horror at the savage act being depicted on the screen but, again, he engenders sympathy in an odd, odd way. We understand his motivations. They may not be very Christian but, for him, he is the result of the age old question of nature versus nurture. He’s weirdly the guy you root for throughout the picture. I did anyway and I have no idea what that says about my own psychology but I think it’s a valid point. Both Rorschach and Nite Owl are kindred spirits and in a landscape full of those who have no chemistry with one another you can believe these two are friends.

In the background to all of this is Snyder who has, without question, created a faithful adaption to Moore’s work. I think you can quibble here about the level of fidelity he has brought to the visual storytelling that he so wanted to retain but there is something that I hope to recuse myself of doing: casting judgment on a less than viewed film. It’s no secret that Snyder had to trim this movie in order for it to be as long as it is now and there are signs that things here were snipped, things over here were trimmed. Expediency took precedence over what his full vision really encompassed. I fear that the things that I take issue with, the hurried moments between characters when there was obviously more to say, the sequences that feel rushed, are all there except they have been taken out, temporarily. As it stands, however, this movie is an artistic movement of both social commentary and the hopes and wishes we put upon our heroes. Snyder takes a page from As You Like It in that he understands if you’re going to bum everyone out with the high concept you better deliver on some sweet bloodletting. He gives us this book’s bread and circuses on a visual palette that mixes soundtracks and sights that evoke a period not so removed from our own.

The film has to be so many things to so many people but Snyder takes the risk by doing the honorable thing which is being true to what was on the page. The debate can rage without me as it pertains to whether he stays too close to the novel but the penultimate fight sequence, the prison, Mars, the opening moments, Dan and Spectre’s love tryst all outweigh small problems compared to what should be held in the same regard as Peter Jackson’s LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. To be sure, Jackson had a lot of runway to pave his own vision but flipping through the graphic novel you could see where the challenges were all but apparent.

The Watchmen prove that there is much we have yet to learn from history and ourselves as beasts and Snyder has indeed given a film that slides narrowly on that line of artistic endeavor and full-throttle action.

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And now, some misguided ramblings from our own Raymond Schillaci who is back from seeing THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON. Welcome to 2009, Raymond…

The Curious Case of Oscar Slumming

Okay, so I have been away for a while without a good excuse to bring something to the table.Never mind that I have been wowed by the likes of “Son of Rambow,” “Let the Right One In” and “Gran Torino”.If you have not seen them rush to the nearest video (when they are released) store (or NetFlix) and rent them because they are far more articulate, artistic and deeper than the choice for Oscar’s best picture, director or adapted screenplay, “Slumdog Millionaire”. Mind you, I did appreciate director Boyle’s picture and I was touched, but Oscar, once again, missed the big picture.They missed it by a mile, especially not recognizing Boyle’s efforts with a far better earlier picture, “Millions”.

Was it circumstance, fate or just the academy’s lack of attention that had given the kitschy “Slumdog” an undeserving sweep?Will anybody talk about it years from now or will they stumble upon the more deserving fair as mentioned above? Perhaps Fincher’s film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” will be far more appreciated as years go by.It certainly was an intricate, beautifully done piece of work from beginning to end.It did not truncate itself with a self-indulging dance sequence that Bollywood loves to propagate.Perhaps it was a direct example of the global economy and political correctness filtering through our film industry.

Whatever it is, it’s disappointing to say the least after I have just watched Fincher’s adult masterwork.Forget the comparisons to “Forest Gump” they are undeserved.This is a wonderful human odyssey.For those Pitt nay Sayers, leave your jealousy at the door.Pitt delivers a wonderful portrayal of a simple man with a complex problem attempting to wrestle down all the big questions life has to offer with the added twist of physically living it backwards.

Fincher with all the dark baggage he has brought to his other masterpieces, “7even” and “Fight Club” sets everything aside to show us his warm and fuzzy side.No, it’s not sappy, melodramatic or over-the-top.It’s a sincere poetic allegory that carries you through Benjamin’s strange journey and all the people he affects and the funny and unusual way life works itself out.Fincher paints his tale with broad strokes taking us from BB’s birth (as an old man), his awkward dealing as he goes through adolescence (still as a senior citizen) with the yearning of wanting to relate to other children to mid-life where the greatest years are lived and finally reaching an inevitable youngster dealing with dementia. It is heart-wrenching and may have fallen into maudlin territory if Fincher and writer Roth had not ventured further taking us into the character’s various loves (including his surrogate mother ““ played with remarkable perfection by Taraji P Henson), friends and acquaintances that make up a person throughout one’s life.

I could go on and on about the attention to detail from costume, sets and props. I could probably give a little more detail to this amazing story, but I would rather have it take you by pleasant surprise as it did me.It’s a great date movie, but do not mistake this as a chick flick.If you have any kind of heart at all, you will feel this film pull on the strings several times and find yourself looking for a hanky.I saw it alone, which made it twice as hard.No, I’m not wimping out, but I am a romantic and Fincher’s film is far more charismatic and romantic than “Slumdog”.I only hope the director will visit this kind of wonderment filmmaking again so he may receive the kudos he deserves, along with a golden guy spearheading him to legendary status.

Weekend Shopping Guide 3/6/09: In The Pink

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

The American version is often an over-produced mess, but the original UK version of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP) – which finds uber-chef Gordon Ramsay attempting to save failing restaurants often in the face of obstinence and incompetence – is a real gem. Ramsay genuinely tries to help these troubled businesses, and his sound advice is just as engaging as the passion with which he delivers it. Now you can get the entire 8-episode first season of the UK version, and I highly recommend it.

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I love gadgets, and tools that feel like gadgets. That’s certainly the case with the Third Hand Adjustable Parts Holder with Magnification ($7.99 SRP). As the overly technical name implies, this weighted stand contains clamps and a magnifying glass, making it perfect for doing close-up work with everything from electronics to painting.

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I would have preferred it have been A Shot In The Dark, but I guess the high definition arrival of the original The Pink Panther (MGM, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$34.98 SRP) is a good sign that I’ll soon be getting my favorite comedic turn by Peter Sellers as the memorable Inspector Jacques Clouseau. The Blu-Ray edition features an audio commentary with Blake Edwards, and five behind-the-scenes and retrospective featurettes.

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Released in separate packages previously, MGM has brought together all 9 volumes Pink Panther cartoons into The Pink Panther Collection (MGM, Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP). Not only do you get the Panther cartoons, but you also get Depatie-Freleng’s Inspector, Ant & The Aardvark, and The Man cartoons. So, really, the whole shebang, plus behind-the-scenes featurettes, all of the title sequences for the Panther features, an even a tribute to Friz Freleng.

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I’m not entirely sure why these DC animated direct-to-DVD titles abandoned the much-refined and wonderful Bruce Timm-syled designs of JLU in favor of clunkier, uglier, more angular designs unless the sole reason was (sad) change for change sake, but that is a major “ugh” point in the not-exactly-stellar animated Wonder Woman (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP), which finds Princess Diana going up against the evil Ares, God of War. The 2-disc set features an audio commentary, a pair of in-depth documentaries on Wonder Woman and the mythology behind her, a pair of bonus Bruce Timm-chosen JLU cartoons, and a first-look at the upcoming Green Lantern animated movie. A Blu-Ray edition ($29.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus features.

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Although I find the subject matter interesting, you’ve gotta love a book title like Hippo In A Tutu (Disney Press, $30.00 SRP). The reference is to the “Dance Of The Hours” sequence of Disney’s Fantasia, wherein alligators dance with hippos. The book takes an in-depth look at the role of dance, choreography, and reference for both in the animated films of Walt Disney, and it’s well worth picking up.

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Fans have been clamoring for it for years – well, they’ve been clamoring for anything from the band, really – but they’re surely dancing a happy jig at the release of Phish: The Clifford Ball (Rhino, Not Rated, DVD-$99.99 SRP). The 7-disc set features the entirety of the band’s 2-day concert happening held on August 16 & 17, 1996. It’s an incredibly musical document, and now you can have it to play again and again.

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Though the stories comprising it are being released separately, the best and easiest way to get the entire arc is to just pick up the Doctor Who: Key To Time Special Edition (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP), as the 7-disc set has got the whole kit and kaboodle. Each disc is like a TARDIS, loaded with the usual complement of commentaries, featurettes, and archive materials.

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Not many cartoons can boast a guest turn by Johnny Depp, but a certain spongy yellow character can in the episode collection Spongebob Squarepants: Spongebob Vs The Big One (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP). In addition to the Depp ep, the disc also sports 6 more, plus an audio commentary and a music video.

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You can see every drop of sweat in the new Blu-Ray edition of Martin Scorsese’s Raging Bull (MGM, Rated R, DVD-$34.98 SRP), and the clarity adds a certain punch to the proceedings. The disc features a trio of audio commentaries, a 4-part feature-length documentary, a behind-the-scenes featurette, vintage newsreel footage, and a shot-by-shot comparison of DeNiro & La Motta.

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If you’ve got a lot of free time, are really jonesing for the Watchmen movie, and are a huge fan of those late 60’s Marvel cartoons, then you’ll probably want to give a spin to Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), which adds motion, voice actors, and sound effects to Dave Gibbons’ original artwork. A Blu-Ray edition ($35.99 SRP) is also available, for those who crave high definition.

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If you want to find a little bit more about the author behind Watchmen, V: For Vendetta, From Hell, and League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, you can’t do wrong in picking up a copy of the re-released and expanded The Extraordinary Works Of Alan Moore: Indispensable Edition (Twomorrows, $29.95 SRP).

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Though my nephews lap it up, I still watch Chowder (Cartoon Network, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) mainly for the sterling voicework of my erstwhile comedy partner, Dana Snyder, who handles the lumbering, memorable Gazpacho. This second volume contains 5 episodes.

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I know it made money. I know that people went to go see it. Intellectually, I know these things. I still can’t rationalize that knowledge into any semblance of an endorsement for Beverly Hills Chihuahua (Walt Disney, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). I guess it’s like a latter-day That Darn Cat. But with Chihuahuas. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, an animated short, and bloopers. The Blu-Ray edition ($34.99 SRP) contains additional behind-the-scenes featurettes and deleted scenes not on the standard release.

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I prefer to believe the awkward director’s cut doesn’t exist, but I did love Donnie Darko (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP) when I first saw it, and now you can pick it up in high definition in a 2-disc edition that includes both cuts, audio commentaries, a production diary, featurettes, and more.

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Make sure your young ones get to Sesame Street for Elmo & Friends: Tales OF Adventure (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$12.95 SRP), featuring a trio of tales featuring Elmo, Big Bird, and Telly as they go on thrilling adventures in learning. Can you say “Texas Telly and The Golden Triangle Of Destiny”?

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Baz Luhrman’s epic story of love between an English aristocrat (Nicole Kidman) and a rough-&-tumble cattle driver (Hugh Jackman) in the Outback is certainly big and sprawling, but Australia (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is also big and bloated, dragging on and on and on until it just sort of ends. It’s a shame, because there’s a good flick in there someplace. Bonus features include deleted scenes and behind-the-scenes featurettes. A Blu-Ray edition ($39.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

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Oh, The Hills (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) – how I loathe your very existence. And I don’t know why, exactly, as its existence should not bother me in the least, and shouldn’t even be on my radar. And yet it is. And it does bother me so. For those who are unbothered, the complete 4th season set contains all 20 episodes, plus interviews, deleted scenes, featurettes, photo shoots, and more.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Trailer Park: BITCH SLAP Interview

Filed under: Interviews,Trailer Park — Tags: — admin @ 4:08 am

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

And now, you can follow me on Twitter. Find me here, my oh so original name on the thing is Stipp so come on and follow my stray ramblings. From standing in a pool of toilet water to talking about nothing of great importance you can ensure that I stand for quality.

So, stop me if you’ve heard this one before: I’m in a hotel bed with three ladies…

The promotion of BITCH SLAP, coming your way very soon in 2009, was a masterstroke of genius. Simply put web journalists who came to the San Diego Comic-Con to talk to fully clothed actors and actresses in sterile press chicken coops the opportunity to interview Julia Voth, Erin Cummings and America Olivo, three gorgeous ladies who deserve kudos for both being pretty and witty, about a movie that hasn’t come out yet…in bed.

Look, I’ve been married for 7 years. I have 2 little girls at home. I can’t even bear to even give the appearance of impropriety. But, as I slid onto the edge of the king sized mattress, knowing this was going to be a complete off the cuff interview about what in the world this movie was about, I will admit I was like a schoolboy being introduced to three sirens who would have just as soon laughed at my dweebiness than carrying on a coherent conversation with me.

I can’t say one way or the other about whether you should see this film but after talking with these girls, talking with the writer/director at length about what he wanted to do with this film (shot with a RED to boot), seeing the footage and then seeing this extended trailer I know that I will be giving this one my money when given the chance. The comparisons will come that this film is trying to be everything that GRINDHOUSE was not and I think that’s valid. Rodriguez and Tarantino did not capture the essence of those film and, instead, made the visual equivalent of a cover song but what BITCH SLAP looks to be doing, then, is to really embody those randy sexploitation films in an honest, fun and loud fashion.

Watch the interview I had with, let’s face it, the three hottest ladies you’ll see on this site today… BITCH SLAP is coming to theaters this spring…
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PART 1:


PART 2:


PART 3:

March 5, 2009

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #85: Sucker Bet

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:43 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #85: Sucker Bet – Ken & Dana return with an argument on the subject of betting, discuss RedNoseNet.com, decide upon a course of musical action, disagree about a course of musical action, then bicker a bit more, just for balance. Oh, and Dana forgets to turn the “bathroom stall” filter on his microphone off.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #85 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-85.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Cabin Fever #59: Inappropriate Ridin’

Filed under: Cabin Fever — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:41 pm

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cabin.jpgOh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #59: Inappropriate Ridin’ – This week, our cabin dwellers discuss all the colours of the sexual rainbow. Thanks to our dirty-minded listeners, no kinky stone is left unturned. Be it bad medical advice, inappropriate touching, or badly thought out bicycle design; all topics are generously splashed with dollops of Au De No-Pants-Dance. Music is by Caleb Lee, with his top-tapper, “You’re Here”.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #59 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/cabinfever/cabin_fever_59.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

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March 4, 2009

Contest Round-Up: 2009-03-04

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Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with Warner Bros., we’re giving away one (1) WATCHMEN music prize pack.

In conjunction with Genius Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of ELMO & FRIENDS: TALES OF ADVENTURE on DVD.

In conjunction with Paramount Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SOUTH PARK: SEASON 12 on DVD.

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of ROLE MODELS on DVD.

In conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of the PINOCCHIO: 70th ANNIVERSARY EDITION DVD/BLU-RAY set.

In conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) sets of both ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN and RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN on DVD.

In conjunction with Paramount Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of PRIMAL FEAR on DVD.

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of HOWARD THE DUCK on DVD.

In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of GIRLS NEXT DOOR: SEASON 4 on DVD.

Win a WATCHMEN music prize pack!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:31 am

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In conjunction with Warner Bros., we’re giving away one (1) WATCHMEN music prize pack.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The Prize Pack contains:

12″ Picture Disc (single configuration)
Release Date: 1/27/09
Price Point: $15.98
Track Listing:
Side A: My Chemical Romance – “Desolation Row” – 2:59
Side B: Tyler Bates – “Prison Fight” – 1:46

CD Soundtrack (compilation)
Release Date: 3/17/09
Price Point: $18.98

Vinyl Soundtrack (compilation)
Release Date: 3/17/09
Price Point: $22.98

CD Soundtrack (score)
Release Date: 3/03/09
Price Point: $18.98

Vinyl Soundtrack (score)
Release Date: 3/17/09
Price Point: $22.98

Watchmen Singles Box Set
Release Date: 3/24/09
Price Point: $69.99
———————-
Total Value: $169.89

And if you want to order any of these items, you can get a discount by entering the code “RORSCHACH” HERE.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win GIRLS NEXT DOOR: SEASON 4 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:58 am

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In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of GIRLS NEXT DOOR: SEASON 4 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win HOWARD THE DUCK on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:51 am

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In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of HOWARD THE DUCK on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win PRIMAL FEAR on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:40 am

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In conjunction with Paramount Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of PRIMAL FEAR on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

March 3, 2009

Win ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN and RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:20 pm

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In conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) sets of both ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN and RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win PINOCCHIO on DVD & BLU-RAY!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:06 pm

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In conjunction with Walt Disney Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of the PINOCCHIO: 70th ANNIVERSARY EDITION DVD/BLU-RAY set.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win ROLE MODELS on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:45 pm

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In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of ROLE MODELS on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott star in the outrageously funny comedy ROLE MODELS, coming to DVD and Blu-ray on March 10, 2009 from Universal Studios Home Entertainment.

Danny and Wheeler are two salesmen who trash a company truck on an energy drink-fueled bender. Upon their arrest, the court gives them a choice: do hard time or spend 150 service hours with a mentorship program. After one day with the kids, however, jail doesn’t look half bad. Surrounded by annoying do-gooders, Danny struggles with his every neurotic impulse to guide Augie (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) through the trials of becoming a man. Unfortunately, the guy just dumped by his girlfriend (Elizabeth Banks) has only sarcasm to offer a bashful 16-year-old obsessed with medieval role play. Meanwhile, charming Wheeler tries to trade in an addiction to partying and women to assist a fifth-grader named Ronnie (Bobb’e Thompson) redirect his foul-mouthed ways. It would probably help if Ronnie’s new mentor wasn’t an overgrown adolescent whose idea of quality time includes keggers in Venice Beach. Once the center’s ex-con director (Jane Lynch) gives them an ultimatum, Danny and Wheeler are forced to tailor their brand of immature wisdom to their charges. And if they can just make it through probation without getting thrown in jail, the world’s worst role models will prove that, sometimes, it takes a village idiot to raise a child.

In the meantime, you can play the ROLE MODELS Babe Watcher game!

You think you can hang with the babe watchers? Help Wheeler, Danny, Augie and Ronnie spot babes to hang out with. Just be careful who you are checking out; if it’s a buddy, you lose a life!

How to Play: Score points by spotting babes and clicking on them with your mouse. Babes are worth 30 points each and the Minotaur is worth 60 points. Score 300 points to move to level 2, and score 600 points to complete the game.

CLICK HERE to play.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win SOUTH PARK: SEASON 12 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:30 pm

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In conjunction with Paramount Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SOUTH PARK: SEASON 12 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win ELMO & FRIENDS: TALES OF ADVENTURE on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:08 pm

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In conjunction with Genius Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of ELMO & FRIENDS: TALES OF ADVENTURE on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, March 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Bagged & Boarded Go Commentatin’: Stand By Me

Filed under: Bagged & Boarded — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:39 pm

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What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.

Are they heroes?

No.

Are they geniuses?

Far from it.

Are they the future of this planet?

I sure hope not.

Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.

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BAGGED & BOARDED GO COMMENTATIN’: Stand By Me  – In which Matt and Jesse take a break from the usual nonsense to bring you extra special nonsense – A commentary track on STAND BY ME, as voted on by you, the listeners. Give it a listen… unless you’re a “Loony”.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode Stand By Me (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/baggedboarded/bagged_boarded-stand_by_me.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Matt & Jesse at the B & B mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE BAGGED & BOARDED ARCHIVES

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Toy Box: Who Watches the Watchmen?

Filed under: Toy Box — Tags: , — admin @ 3:18 am

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Who’s watching the Watchmen? If you’re Warner Brothers, you’re hoping just about everyone. The film has gone through it’s share of complex issues, but it’s finally hitting the big screen on March 6th. I don’t know about you, but I’ll have my butt in the IMAX theater Friday night.

Since this is a DC property, it should be no surprise that the product coming out in conjunction is from DC Direct. They’re producing action figures in a psuedo 7 inch scale and a psuedo sixth scale, as well as busts and prop replicas. I’m checking out two of the first four action figures tonight – Rorschach and Nite Owl. The other two in this wave are the modern Silk Spectre and Ozymandias, reviewed over at Michael’s Review of the Week.

You can pick these guys (and girls) up for around $17 or so, depending on the retailer of course. That’s a pretty hefty chunk of change, but I have some suggestions in the Where to Buy section that have the full set of four at just fifty bucks, or just $12.50 each. If you have any questions or comments, drop me an email at mwc@mwctoys.com, or hit my website at Captain Toy – Michael’s Review of the Week.

Watchmen series 1 – Nite Owl and Rorschach

Series 1 has been out for a week or two, and series 2 (with the Comedian, original Silk Spectre, original Nite Owl, and Dr Manhattan) has been hitting as well. There are also three variants that will be showing up at your LCS: a translucent Dr. Manhattan, old school Comedian, and unmasked Rorschach.

Packaging – Rorschach ***1/2, Nite Owl ***
Hey, they’re boxes. And the best part is they not only look great, and store easily for the MiBers, but they are also collector friendly. You can pull the figures out and just have to deal with a couple twisties – no need to actually damage the box or inserts in any way. That’s not true for the Ozy or Nite Owl figures, where the stand is blister sealed to the interior cardboard tray, but it is true for Rorschach and Silk Spectre. I don’t quite understand why they designed two this way and two the other way, but it may have something to do with the capes getting in the way.

Sculpting – Nite Owl ***1/2; Rorschach ***
This entire line exhibits great sculpts, with lots of good detail, and what appears to be a good match to the on screen counterparts. Of course, that’s tough to tell based on just poster photos and a few movie stills, but they’ve certainly captured the look of the costumes. The detail work on the Nite Owl outfit is excellent, but he does suffer from a slightly soft sculpt on his facial features. He’s the largest figure in this wave, standing about 6 3/4″ tall.

Rorschach is the smallest of the set, as he was in the comic. He stands about 6 1/4″ tall, a full half inch shorter than Nite Owl (and Ozymandias). He’s also the least articulated, so his sculpted pose is the most critical. That’s where he loses a half star for me.

The other figures in the line have a ball jointed neck to allow them to tilt, turn, and swivel. These joints work great on all the others, but for some reason DCD decided NOT to give Rorschach the same neck. Now, there might be a ball buried down there, but the neck works pretty much as a straight cut joint, allowing it to turn from side to side. Clearly, DCD knew that this was a shortcoming, since Rorschach tends to tilt his head…to compensate for it, they sculpted his head tilted. Yep, it’s sculpted in that tilted pose. Which means it looks good in only that one pose. Why did they do this? I have no idea.

Add to this the odd walking pose they went with on the legs, and I’m not feeling it. The sculpted details are still good, and I like the look of the masked face, but the figure is basically a statue, and the selected pose really ain’t doing it for me.

Paint – ***
The paint work is fairly clean, although at this price point it certainly should be. There’s some minor issues here and there, particularly with some gloppiness on Nite Owl’s face and a few fuzzy cut lines here and there, but it’s certainly B work.

The one aspect of the paint job that really does stand out though is the rorschach ‘stain’ on Rorschach’s mask. It’s extremely well done, nicely centered, and looks terrific.

Articulation – Nite Owl **1/2; Rorschach *1/2
None of these figures is super articulated, but Nite Owl is much like Ozymandias and Silk Spectre, with better articulation than you might expect from DCD. He has a great ball jointed neck, as well as ball jointed shoulders that have a reasonably good range of movement. There’s single pin elbows and knees, T hips, and cut wrists. No, no cut waist…but then this is DC Direct we’re talking about.

Rorschach doesn’t fair as well as the rest of the series. As I mentioned in the sculpting section, he only has a cut neck joint. With the head sculpted in a tilt, it looks a bit weird in all but one pose. He lacks the ball jointed shoulders too, instead having simple cut joints. There’s single pin elbows and cut wrists, but there is no knee joint, and the legs are simply cut at the thigh were they meet the coat.

Accessories – Rorschach **1/2; Nite Owl **
None of the figures have a ton of stuff, but at least these two add one extra to the mix.

Each figure in the series comes with a small base. These bases have three holes in them, placed evenly across the surface. Two small pegs can be inserted from the bottom to allow the figures to stand on them, but the figures only have a hole in one foot each. Unfortunately, since the holes are evenly spaced, a character like Rorschach ends up standing in an off center way on the base no matter which hole is used.

Each figure also comes with a little bracket that appears to be designed to attach the bases to each other. At least that what it looks like to me – the packaging doesn’t bother to explain.

That’s all that Ozy and Silk Spectre have, but Rorschach includes his cool gun and an extra right hand to hold it, while Nite Owl has his version of the batarang that can attach to his belt. Is it an owlarang? Unfortunately, he can’t hold it particularly well in his hand, and it tends to fall off his belt, but as long as you can keep it in place, it looks fine.

I had some issues swapping hands on Rorschach, and ended up needing some hot water to do the job. The posts are very weak plastic, so twisting them or pulling them if they are stuck could result in tearing the hand off.

His gun looks great, but I did have some trouble getting it to stay in his hand. It’s not impossible, but it will take a little effort, and it tends to fall out once in place.

Fun Factor – **
These aren’t really designed for kids, even if Toys R Us is carrying them. It’s an R rated movie, starring characters that kids will have no background on. If one or two were gruesome and hideous, kids might enjoy them just for the monster effect, but these will just look like generic superheroes to them.

Value – *1/2
These figures will run you at least $17 if you buy the singles. At that price, you arent’ getting much – a 7″ plastic statue (albeit a good looking one) without much in the way of accessories. If you want the whole wave though, I have some suggetsions in the Where to Buy section that get the price down to about $12.50 each, which would get these up another star or so in the rating.

Things to Watch Out For –
I had issues with Rorschach’s right hand – the one that’s supposed to swap. Even twisting it was questionable, and the pegs on these are made from a fairly soft plastic. Rather than risk tearing one, just use hot water (which is what I did this time), or the old ‘freezer trick’ to free them up.

Overall – Nite Owl ***; Rorschach **1/2
Nite Owl turned out good, if a tad too statuesque for my tastes. Considering the high price point on these figures, they need something extra, either in accessories or articulation. Without it, I really can’t give Nite Owl better than three stars overall.

Rorschach doesn’t fair quite as well for me. He’s not awful, and I think the painted mask and head sculpt look great. But once again, at this price point I’m expecting that they step up their game, and I really dislike the sculpted tilt to the neck. If you’re cool with the concept that he’s pretty much a statue, and if you like the sculpted pose, then you’ll be much happier than I.

Score Recap:
Packaging – ***
Sculpting – Nite Owl ***1/2; Rorschach ***
Paint – ***
Articulation – Rorschach **1/2; Nite Owl **
Accessories – Rorschach **1/2; Nite Owl **
Fun Factor – **
Value – *1/2
Overall – Nite Owl ***; Rorschach **1/2

Where to buy –
These are hitting some retailers, like Toys R Us (shocking!), but they aren’t cheap there. Even with shipping, your best bet might be some of the online retailers:

Urban Collector has the singles for $17 each, but you can get teh case of 4 for just $50.

Alter Ego Comics has series 1 or series 2 available for $55 for the set of four.

Corner Store Comics has the singles for $15 – $18, depending on the figure, or the set of four for $55.

Things From Another World has all the singles, including variants, for about $20 each.

Clark Toys has the sets of four for $62.

– or you can search ebay using sponsor MyAuctionLinks.

Related Links –
I have a review of the other two figures in this first series, the modern Silk Spectre and Ozymandias, over at my site.

March 2, 2009

TV Or Not TV: 3/2 – 3/8

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: — admin @ 1:53 am

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Welcome back to TV or Not TV where I don’t fear the Reaper.

It’s been nearly a year since we last saw Reaper, which is returning March 3rd at 8 PM to the CW, and truth be told we’re lucky we’re even getting a second helping of the show.  Reaper originally showed a lot of promise in its pilot episode, but quickly devolved to a simple “monster-of-the-week” retread that we’d already seen in year’s prior from show’s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed. The only saving grace at that point was the flawless performance of Ray Wise as the Devil.

About the same time I was thinking to myself that Reaper was going to fall off of my viewing list the Writer’s Strike happened. When it was over Reaper returned and something had changed. Suddenly the reaping was playing second fiddle to story lines like a demon uprising wanting to overthrow the Devil and the nagging question of lead character Sam’s own parentage. In the season finale we were even given a gem in Sam‘s own father seeming to be a demon (or something else that is capable of surviving being buried alive). The increased interest from the fan base seemed to give the CW reason to give Reaper a second season order of 13 episodes.

The initial question that has to be asked is if this new season learned from the last part of last season and will the show really try to knock it out of the park for what could be it’s final 13? The answer to the question may be revealed in the season opener where Sam encounters a soul of interest who he may pursue over the course of this season’s run. Sam also has challenges to over come as he returns from a road trip with friends Sock and Ben to discover he’s been evicted from his apartment, fired from his job at The Work Bench and girlfriend Andi may not be terribly happy with him either. Of course the Devil also makes things a bit difficult since he isn’t the type of employer that likes granting extended leaves from work.

The second question also is if the CW really wants to see Reaper do well at all. Originally the show was slated to premiere March 17th and it was going to have the drama ladened 90210 as it’s lead in. Suddenly the premiere has been moved up two weeks and Reaper is now the lead in show, and if you look at the schedule it looks more like the sacrificial lamb the CW is handing over the FOX‘s American Idol, pushing 90210 to the safer 9 PM post-Idol slot originally intended for Reaper. I suppose we can just be thankful that if that is the case as we’ll at least see all 13 episodes of Reaper. The show’s producers have stated they plan to deliver a complete story for us should Reaper be shaking loose this mortal coil at the conclusion of this season. Even if it does, I’m glad we’ve got 13 more episodes of Ray Wise‘s Devil to enjoy.

If all of this Reaper talk didn’t scare you off than here’s what else is coming up in the next seven.

MONDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s two hours of 24 tonight with a full on assault on the White House. It’s bad enough when they asked us to believe… well, just about everything from all of the seasons past, but really… the White House? Shame on you 24. Shame…. on…. you!

NBC – 9:00 PM: I admit that I acutally enjoyed Heroes last week up until the last five minutes of the show. They bought my interest for one more week. Let’s see if they can do it again.

FOOD – 9:30 PM: Rabidly interested in how cranberries are harvested? Hop into the bog on Will Work for Food.

TUESDAY

BRAVO – 1:00 PM: Hunker down for a marathon of The Real Housewives of New York City. Did I just type that?

FOX – 8:00 PM: American Idol rolls out the poor song choices performed horribly by the next 12 contestants hoping to survive the night.

CW – 8:00 PM: Yup, like stated above, Reaper is back. Give it a try if you didn’t before.

WEDNESDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on Knight Rider… hah, just kidding! This show is harder for me to watch than a vasectomy reversal (and yes, I’ve seen one).

FOX – 8:00 PM: Nine more dreams are crushed as three more are chosen for the final 12 contestants on American Idol. Dragging this out for 60 minutes is almost as unjustifiable as the running time of the Oscars.

HIST – 9:00 PM: If you’ve ever wanted to see the sewers of New York than tune in to MonsterQuest as they delve into the disgusting depths in search of alligators.

ABC – 9:00 PM: I’ve noticed a trend that is happening on LOST. They’ve been playing this cat and mouse game of mysterious and answers so much that they are creating mini-mysteries that surface and get paid off in a few episodes. Watch more tonight as we get caught up with where Sawyer and crew have been in LaFleur.

THURSDAY

TOON – 2:30 PM: I’ve really been enjoying Batman: The Brave and the Bold and I really wish I had recommended last week this first part of a two parter. It’s got everything geeks love: super heroes and alternate universes where the good are bad and vise versa. The second part airs tomorrow night, so set your DVR for this one to get caught up.

FOX – 8:00 PM: Just when you thought they couldn’t shove more Idol down your throats they bring out a wild card show. The judges favorites shill one more time for a chance on the show.

NBC – 8:30 PM: Does anyone who reads this column want to email me and tell me what I’m missing not watching Kath & Kim? I only ask because it’s the only show I skip on the Thursday night NBC lineup.

CBS – 8:00 PM: The first alliance of the season surfaces tonight on Survivor: Tocantins.

FRIDAY

TOON – 8:00 PM: Batman teams up with The Joker (what?!?!?) to try to foil Owlman in tonight’s season finale of Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s just so hard having a Terminator on your team when they have a damaged chip, which appears to have a BIOS made by Microsoft. Haha! Nerd humor!

AMC – 8:00 PM: See the entire first season of Breaking Bad tonight and you’ll be jonesing for more.

SATURDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Didn’t catch the premiere of Celebrity (really?!?) Apprentice? You get a second shot tonight.

DISNEY – 8:00 PM: I know it is no great work of cinematic art, but I really got a kick out of Sky High.

ABC – 9:00 PM: This is really shaping up to be second chance Saturday. Miss the two hour Brothers & Sisters episode from last week or your DVR botched up? Queue it up again.

SUNDAY

Hope you remembered to set your clock ahead an hour!

NBC – 7:00 PM: Sometimes a show name says it all: Saturday Night Live: Just Game Show Parodies. As long as it is 90% Celebrity Jeopardy I’m in.

FOX – 8:00 PM: The home loan crisis hits Springfield as The Simpsons ARM skyrockets. Way to help us escape from our everyday lives guys!

NBC – 8:00 PM: I don’t think you can take any percentage of anything to make me watch Saturday Night Live: Just Commercials.

AMC – 10:00 PM: Did you get hooked on Breaking Bad after Friday night? Good news, season 2 premieres tonight.

Will Wilkins wrote this column while thinking about his Dad. It’s been a year Pops and I still miss you.

SModcast 78

Filed under: SModcast — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:15 am

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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 78: For Today’s Elegant Man –

In which our heroes bed down with cougars, face that yellow bastard, and conjure a cuckold.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 78 (MP3 format) – 53.36 MB

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Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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March 1, 2009

Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 2 Challenge Voting Begins!

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We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. Our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

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ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

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You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Masters below, including the 10 words they chose for their songs. Immediately following, you’ll be able to place your votes…

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MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG:Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG:Hippie with a Djembe
ROUND 2 SONG:Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)

GARFUNKEL & OATES

songfu-garfuneloates.jpgRiki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

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In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG:The Bop Bop Song
ROUND 2 SONG:Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)

EDRIC HALEEN

songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG:(Happiness)
ROUND 2 SONG:Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG:You Gotta Smile
ROUND 2 SONG:My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)

INSANE IAN

songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Happy
ROUND 2 SONG:Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG:What Makes You Feel Happy
ROUND 2 SONG:I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)

MICK BORDET

songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Happy People
ROUND 2 SONG:What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG:My Personal Eccentric Happiness
ROUND 2 SONG:The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG:As Happy As Me
ROUND 2 SONG:You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Let The Happiness In
ROUND 2 SONG:I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG:The Happy Song
ROUND 2 SONG:Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)
ROUND 2 SONG:Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG:The Deep Sea Anglerfish
ROUND 2 SONG:I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG:Caroline
ROUND 2 SONG:Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG:Do What You Want
ROUND 2 SONG:Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG:The Pompadour Song
ROUND 2 SONG:Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Wide-Eyed Happy
ROUND 2 SONG:A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG:Parole Day
ROUND 2 SONG:Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG:I Pity The (Song) Fu
ROUND 2 SONG:Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)

JUTZE SCHULT

songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG:A Mallful Of Brains
ROUND 2 SONG:God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)

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ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. Also, if you enjoy their tune, be sure to vote for our reigning Masters of Song Fu – Paul & Storm, as those votes will count when the other remasters rejoin in the next round. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on MONDAY, MARCH 9th.

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ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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