Tag: Kathleen Turner

  • Trailer Park: End of Year Holiday Cornucopia

    By Christopher Stipp

    The Archives, Right Here

    I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

    Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Delightful Hanukkah to you all…I’ve got tons to talk about today…

    I think years of doing my favorite trailers has become a little same ol’ same ol’. This time, however, for those keeping track of me as I’ve been doing this column now for almost 5(!) years now it looks like I need to shake it up a little bit. No one hates lists more than me, I rarely do them, so I figure I would just stick in some of the more memorable moments from this last year. From the good to the bad, I figured I would reflect on what 2008 has brought me. So, I’ve interspersed two film reviews, a check-in call from Ray Schillaci along with a DVD giveaway (among the other ones I’m runnin’) as I keep it loose and informal. Should anyone have anything to add as their own BEST/WORST for aught 8 feel free to leave it in the comments section below as I’m interested to hear about your own Best of 08.

    BEST FREE T-SHIRT GIVEN AWAY AT COMIC-CON: THE WATCHMEN

    This shirt made the wait to not only catch the panel that showed some of the best footage that we had seen to that point. Zach Snyder cut together a loose trailer that played more than a few times and, to be honest, it triggered the same response in the crowd as when he played the trailer for 300. To boot, the interviews I did on site right after the panel, even though they were not exclusive, made the trek from Arizona worthwhile. The ravenous scramble for this free piece of merch was not unlike the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Seriously, some of these kids need a Stairmaster or get on some kind of cardio program. I want to see future nerds in better shape than what I’ve been seeing at these conventions.

    Coming in a close second would absolutely have to be the TERMINATOR: SALVATION shirt that was given away after the Terminator panel which surprised even me; I wasn’t expecting much and was more than pleasantly surprised to see what G was up to with this property and, as a topper, a sweet ass shirt to wear to the gym.

    As an aside: Check out Rich Johnston’s WATCHMENSCH comic that is coming soon to your local comics retailer. Not even Alan Moore is above a little parody.

    BEST REASON TO HATE PUBLICISTS: The Kids in the Hall 2008 Tour

    One of the really nice things about writing for this site is that I basically dictate my own material. I lick my thumb, stick it up in the air of my own mind and then determine what way the wind is blowing. For those who know me, which isn’t many of you and I know that, I am a Kids in the Hall mark. I own all their damn DVDs, I drove 6 hours just to see a live show they did years ago, I bought a lot more merchandise than anyone whose name is Mark David Chapman shouldn’t and I have always maintained they really were an influential force in modern sketch comedy. Now, when it was announced they were doing a spring tour I was all about finding a way to talk to one, perhaps all if I was particularly lucky, of the KITH. I figured one PR rep would know the other and that it would be a smooth process. Who would’ve thought that the Kids in the Hall only had one publicist? I was thrilled when I eventually landed to the person who handles them and was actually enthused that I showed an interest in covering their tour. Their publicist wrote back quickly. I was amazed. They were interested. What did I have in mind, they asked. So, I make every possible concession I could in order to get these interviews. I was in rare form; I was giving away the Featured Interview space, I was willing to do these interviews at all hours of the day, I was whoring myself to every degree. All I wanted was some exclusive content and some time with the Kids.

    It worked.

    They wrote back, giving the site some non-exclusive (Hint #1) content and some ambiguous time about when to set all these interviews up (Clue #2). Like a sucker, I posted it. However, they wrote back letting me know how great it was that I posted some generic information linking back to a site that wasn’t ours and content that was branded as such.

    I am absolutely, totally, and completely in love with you. I just thought you should know that before we go any further 🙂

    Seriously, this is great – now we need to get you on the phone with the guys so that you can have some fresh meat for the site beast. Let me get them safely on the road, and then let’s talk about anything and everything you might want to do!

    Thanks again, Christopher – it’s truly a pleasure to work with you on this (I don’t get to say that often!)

    Well, what would you think? Yeah, that you were the f’ing man, I tell you that. And I think you would be right. Who wouldn’t believe that pile of steaming BS? Fast forward 3 weeks of teasing. I was so hungry for this that I thought it was in the bag. The only bag I was in, I take it, was some Nigerian 419 scam. Like a loser I kept going forward and the following e-mail came in when I could tell it wasn’t me she was hoping to hook up but, rather, the overlord of everything here at the site, Mr. Kevin Smith, that they was ultimately interested in. This is speculation but since I never was able to produce the man or even play with the thought of forwarding her half-assed invitation to anyone who I thought would even come close of pushing this up the ladder (the world became clear when I saw the line) I will never know for sure. Why I couldn’t see that this was the first move of the Bad PR person’s Heisman play against me I don’t know…

    Hey!

    I don’t care what you have to do – rent a horse, or a zeppelin, or a trolley car. Get yourself to one of the LA area shows. It will be WORTH the trip, I swear: the new show is fantabulous. The guys are having a blast – we just wrapped up four shows in NY and they’re headed to Texas next to tackle Houston and Dallas.

    Dave has written what is perhaps the most classic, textbook sketch I’ve ever seen him produce – it should be taught on college campuses because it’s that good, and round, and premise-perfect. Bruce has contributed a truly hilarious bit called “Grade 8 Dance” that audiences howl over.

    The Russo brothers directed a clip that’s featured in the show – it’s called “Carfuckers”, which probably gives away the premise a bit. It’s in the main viewer on Funny or Die today (a deal done with the company that produced the piece). Go check it out!

    Not sure how to accomplish this, but we’d love to invite Kevin to the LA show as well – I think we’re going to be hosting a reception afterwards, and it would be good to shake hands and that sort of thing. Can you tell me how I might reach him to invite him too?

    If you’d like to speak to any of the guys, let me know and I’ll arrange it. If you have a preference for one over any other, just tell me and I’ll take care of it on this end.

    Hope you’re doing great – but you shouldn’t be reading this email anymore. You should be on Orbitz right now, booking a flight to LA for May 9 🙂

    SIGNED,

    BAD PUBLICIST

    So, did you all see the interviews? Did any of them materialize? Check out my archives. Then, if you had the opportunity, check out my SEND box in my Yahoo account and tally up every unresponded to e-mail I tossed their way when I felt things were going south after I couldn’t magically produce her real quarry. Again, I realize I’m not from Rolling Stone, I know I don’t write for Slate but this is just another example of why I abhor all the sketchy, over-promising publicists who dangle the carrot and then see which of the litter they can get to bite at it. Invariably I end up being picked last but take a look at the archives this year; I’ll just find someone better to talk to.

    BEST GRAPHIC NOVEL: Too Cool to be Forgotten

    To talk too much about this graphic novel would take away from the funny and heart-breakingly sad moments in this traveling back in time story about one man who revisits his high school years as he tries to kick his smoking addiction and, instead, is given another chance at his formative years. It’s Alex Robinson’s compelling artwork and delicate care with which he handles his characters that make this an easy pick.

    BEST GRAPHIC TRAVELOGUE: Moresukine

    Imagine you are a stranger in a strange land. You don’t speak the language. You want to do as the Romans do but what if you don’t know what it is they really do? You ask the Internet, of course. Dirk Schwieger consulted the ranks of folks who visited his comic blog to offer up things, dares really, that explored Japanese culture and customs. From having Dirk figure out how to use a mechanized toilet to actually using a capsule hotel there are small pieces of real life that show us how the other half really lives. The reason it makes my list as best travelogue of the year is because it’s the kind of work that is absent in so many travel guides or personal narratives. This is one of the best ways to take a fly over of a country and peek into what you or I would be interested in knowing. The bigger question that you should find asking yourself after reading this fascinating book: What would foreigners be dared to do if they’ve never been to America?

    BEST REASON TO THINK THAT SETH ROGEN WAS NOT THE MOST INTERESTING FUNNY MAN OF 2008: Danny McBride

    Did anyone here see Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express or even The Foot Fist Way? The latter I had to see right after I saw Tropic Thunder as I just savaged the trailer when I first saw it. I didn’t get it and the trailer was horrible in relaying the kind of comedy that Danny dabbles in. He’s irreverent in a way that’s not a soundbite and he’s genuine dead-pan delivery separates him from the rest of the herd.

    FAVORITE INTERVIEW: Danny Boyle

    This cat not only made a movie that would become the movie I took my wife on our 1st date but he was just the nicest and most gregarious person you would ever want to meet in a closed room. Too many times you get stuck in moments that become rote wherein you just want to get your questions answered and your piece posted. Danny wasn’t like that insofar that he had a real openness about him. His genial nature made for a relaxed atmosphere and he was happy as a clam to answer any question asked. It was a dream interview and for him to have been so accessible was reason enough for me to question any “artist” who thinks that in order to be great you have to be elusive.

    BEST REASON TO LOVE PUBLICISTS: Name Redacted

    I worked with a ton of excellent PR firms who helped land interview people from the likes of Henry Rollins (not up yet), Jesse Ventura (not up yet), Darren Aronofsky, Danny Boyle and tons of others through the year. These people don’t like being mentioned by name (but make sure you get their client’s name right!) but I make it a point to always send a thank you e-mail whenever possible to say how much I appreciate them getting me in to do my thing.

    These things don’t happen in a vacuum so it’s nice to recognize those who are merely standing in the way of you and the subject. I don’t know if they appreciate hearing it but it’s important to know there are a few who will go the extra mile to get you your story.

    BEST FILM: The Wrestler

    This film redefined what the word “resonate” means.

    It’s not enough to just talk about the performances on the screen from Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei. They’re captivating. What is really of note that explains why so many people have loved this movie is that it stays with you. The moments and words in this film are like oatmeal to your mental ribs; as such, it’s satisfying and you are not left wanting.

    A longer review will be coming but it’s enough to know that this film should be seen by anyone who wants a movie that stirrs you from the inside.

    BEST SURPRISE: Tropic Thunder

    I wasn’t sure what to make of this film when I saw the trailer. It was interesting and it seemed like a goofy comedy.

    And then I saw it.

    The satire, the raw viscera of seeing Steve Coogan’s head held up with Ben Stiller drinking its juices, listening to Robert Downey Jr.’s treatise on going retard, Danny McBride’s turn as a pyromaniac hell bent on visual spectacle and, as a capper, Tom Cruise playing a role that I will go on record as saying it was the best he’s ever done in my eyes (he made me laugh for the 1st time…intentionally).

    WORST INTERVIEW: Dicky Barrett from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

    I don’t know if he just hated the way I talked or if he didn’t care for the simple questions I was asking but homeboy was not enthused to chat with me about his latest album. They all can’t be winners, I know, but looking back at how curt and matter-of-fact things went reinforced the idea that you just have to be ready for any situation that comes up and to make do with you’re given. Sometimes, that’s not much and this one still spooks me every time I have to do a phoner.

    BEST ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN: The Dark Knight

    Who else got wrapped up in the un-campaign that drew in followers from all over the U.S. of A as people looked for bowling balls, got cakes in the mail, went to campaign rallies for a candidate that didn’t exist and other on-line scavenger hunt that added up to one of the largest films that ever was? I sure did and I loved it. There’s something to be said about marketers that want to take things to the next level and this campaign did not disappoint. For every person who was annoyed by the ploys to get people more and more hyped for this film there is no denying that by the time the movie opened the core audience was ravenous to see what was going to be on the screen. Nolan didn’t disappoint but Bale’s voice came awfully close to ruining the whole mystique.

    BEST REASON TO LOOK FORWARD TO 2009: I’m not sure

    One of the things that make life on this side of the fence so much fun is that you never know what might come out of the year. I’ve had a lot of other small bits that are just too numerous to mention but, like I mentioned, since I am slowly growing tired of critics’ Top 10 list of the year I figured I would try and put this year into a different kind of perspective. At the end of all of this, though, is the appreciation for all of you. You allow me to knock on the virtual doors of publicists everywhere as I wonder whether I’ll be deemed good enough to be let in through their door. With every passing week and every passing interview I hope this process gets easier and easier.

    Now, let’s give away a movie…

    DEATH RACE

    This was a much maligned movie. Some people have problems with it but I don’t share that opinion. The movie was a real gas for what it was and I enjoyed all the incredibly unbelievable and impossible things that went on it. Jason Statham proves why he is the go-to man for these movies and for anyone else to say different has something against genre flicks. Since this is the holidays, I’ll make this really easy for you. E-mail me your name at Christopher_Stipp@Yahoo.com. I’ll choose at random some readers who haven’t already extorted free stuff from me in past few weeks.

    BONUS FEATURES ““ DVD AND BLU-RAYâ„¢ HI-DEF:

    • THEATRICAL AND UNRATED EXTENDED VERSIONS OF THE FILM
    • START YOUR ENGINES: MAKING A DEATH RACE: From pre and post-production to the casting of Jason Statham, this bonus documentary takes viewers on set to see how a huge, stunt-driven Hollywood movie was made.
    • BEHIND THE WHEEL: DISSECTING THE STUNTS: In this featurette, the many jaw-dropping stunts in the film are documented including interviews with the cast and crew.
    • FEATURE COMMENTARY WITH DIRECTOR PAUL W.S. ANDERSON and PRODUCER JEREMY BOLT (Unrated Version Only).

    SYNOPSIS: Terminal Island: The very near future. The world’s hunger for extreme sports and reality competitions has grown into reality TV bloodlust. Now, the most extreme racing competition has emerged and its contestants are murderous prisoners. Tricked-out cars, caged thugs and smoking-hot navigators combine to create a juggernaut series with bigger ratings than the Super Bowl. The rules of the Death Race are simple: Win five events, and you’re set free. Lose and you’re road kill splashed across the Internet. International action star Jason Statham leads the action-thriller’s cast as three-time speedway champion Jensen Ames, an ex-con framed for the murder of his wife. Forced to don the mask of the mythical driver Frankenstein, a Death Race crowd favorite who seems impossible to kill, Ames is given an easy choice by Terminal Island ‘s ruthless Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen): Suit up and drive or never see his little girl again. His face hidden by a hideous mask, he must win the insane three-day challenge in order to gain freedom. But to claim the prize, Ames must survive a gauntlet of the most vicious criminals – including nemesis Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson) – in the country’s toughest prison. Trained by his coach (Ian McShane) to drive a monster Mustang V8 Fastback outfitted with 2 mounted mini-guns, flamethrowers and napalm, an innocent man must destroy everything in his path to win the most twisted spectator sport on Earth.

    MARLEY & ME: A REVIEW
    I don’t read any newspaper writer whose musings deal with the mundane or observational, I depend on the comedians of the world to skewer day-to-day life in the way that the successful ones can, but I certainly don’t believe that a newspaper columnist’s sense of wonderment at the “ah, shucks” level of life warrants a cinematic envisioning.

    One of the issues I have with MARLEY & ME is its dependence on the dog as a metaphor for all the bad and good things that happen in the lives of Owen Wilson, portraying the milquetoast, middle-of-the-road Andy Rooney like pundit John Grogan. It isn’t that your average canine isn’t capable of imbuing your life with a little bit of humanitarianism, I know I grew up with those commercials that talked about how owning one could help geezers lower their blood pressure, but to have this as the basis for a full length movie where we’re bashed over the head with enough obviousness that this dog represents everything good and fair in this man’s life is a little hokey. I think the movie will play well with those who take stock in books written by Mitch Albom as the reasons why they love reading and why the Hallmark channel still churns out yarns that even Laura Ingalls Wilder would say are obnoxiously sentimental.

    But that’s fine, you see.

    This movie isn’t for me. It’s not even for those who I could engage in a debate about whether THE FOUNTAIN is pure genius (it is) or whether it was an exercise in artful indulgence. This movie is for people like my wife who love movies that want to make you feel all gooey inside, to hell with real conflict or dramatic infusions that would deepen the film’s original meaning. No, instead I get the story of how one irascible and temperamental mutt chews everything these people own as John pines to have the life of his fellow reporter (not columnist. The film will also take its time differentiating these two professions to the point that if you don’t get the difference by the end you have no business watching this) and best friend in human form, Eric Dane. In fact, I would posit that I wish we could have followed the life of Dane as he seems to be going off to Columbia, traveling all over the country, simply living the life of a newspaper Lothario as be beds scads of different women (the movie makes sure to point this out) while Owen Wilson is trapped writing dissertations on whatever people who read the newspaper to get their slice of life read about.

    It’s not so much the mundaneness that I mind, actually I mind it to the point that I wonder why there is a shockingly dangerous moment that is inserted right in the middle of the film, his neighbor is stabbed in her own driveway, if for no other reason than to move the plot as this chunk of actually interesting material is dealt with in such a flippant way I actually feel let down. What an opportunity to deal with the dark underbelly of life in any community where there come the moments when a columnist like John could talk about how this altered his sense of purpose.

    No, it’s just used to talk about how he gets the hell out of his neighborhood.

    I know like it seems I’m being hard on this film for how soft a sell this is going to be for all involved but there are some real wasted opportunities in this movie. As well, you have Jennifer Aniston turning in a performance that is alarmingly casual, someone forgot to tell her this wasn’t just a longer episode of Friends and I am serious when I say that either this woman can’t turn in an actual performance when needed or she’s mildly retarded for not understanding the ways life changes you when you go from no kids to 3 kids and being bitchy doesn’t count as a stretch for the end zone, and let’s also talk about Kathleen Turner. I apologize that I haven’t seen her in anything since WAR AND THE ROSES but I literally rocked backward when I saw Large Marge personified as a dog trainer and realized it was Turner. I’m not sure where she’s been or why she would take a truly thankless role but she turns in a performance that genuinely makes you want to take out your pocketbook to donate to whatever organization has been established to help her get back on her feet. A real reversal of fortunes and the reason why I bring this up is that it’s glaringly obvious to anyone who knows who Turner is. It’s distracting. However, there is a bright light in this film. Alan Arkin. The man can take a role as the editor in charge and turn it into something special. It’s hard to pin down why Arkin is the conduit through which all the life of this thing genuinely flowed through but he’s the real mentor of Grogan. While we don’t get a lot of time with him Arkin doles out the fatherly advice while being the calm voice in the cacophony of averageness.

    To say why the dog isn’t deserving of any real judgment by me in this review would to say that there was something special about the trained animal in this movie. The dog is a dog and in order to make sense of Owen Wilson’s hypothesis about why this dog represents the kind of humanity that warranted this film it is on the shoulders of all the other actors in this piece to make him relevant. Unfortunately, everyone is too busy chewing up their own scenery that the dog is an afterthought until it’s time for the movie’s penultimate moment. And the moment isn’t deserved. It’s rushed, it’s hokey and it doesn’t do anything to contextualize the almost 2 hours I spent trying to figure out the answer the question of why we’re watching a movie about a dog. Any answer wouldn’t be a good one as this film would belong better on ABC, interspersed with commercials for Purina Puppy Chow.

    VALKYRIE: A REVIEW

    The sooner you realize that Kenneth Branagh isn’t really in this movie the better you’ll be off in realizing what is at issue with this film.

    Branagh is billed second in the movie’s IMDB page and it made we wonder as I watched this movie about why that’s the case. I hope I’m not spoiling anything by saying that we only see him as he takes the first crack at killing Der Fuhrer in this film, a token appearance later and then once more in a moment where he’s all by himself at the end of the picture. I just couldn’t grasp why there was such a Houdini act with some of the players of this film but it’s really representative of why this movie only deserves to be a thriller when you look at the last half of the movie, the first half deserving to be lost in whatever editing bay it came out of.

    The problem with the first half is that we have a few issues that need hammering out. First of which is why Tom Cruise’s portrayal as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg starts off with a rather compelling moment in his career, a real watershed that made him the linchpin of this whole attempt to kill Adolf Hitler (an attempt that would the last one and 9 months before he committed suicide before the allies had the chance to grab him), and I don’t know if it was brevity or the fact that they were running short on time but the man flips awfully fast. The way in which Cruise is approached and the manner in which he accepts not only the offer to kill Hitler, never once minding the fact that his family’s life, his children and his wife, would then be targets on the acceptance of this opportunity, but the swiftness from how he goes from conflicted military man to full on freedom fighter is alarming. It defies any sense of logic if you were to wonder what it would take to get you to kill your own president if you happened to have a beef with what your government represented.

    The second problem of the first half is its History channel treatment of the events that took place leading up to the assassination attempt. I was less shocked at the swiftness of Cruise’s acceptance to be a party to off Hitler than I was at the cold and detached nature in which we’re treated to everything that leads up to the film’s exciting second half. To wit, Cruise and his German buddies want to rewrite the failsafe plan, Valkyrie, which would go into effect should Hitler be pronounced dead. Long story short, and this is a really long explanation that goes to support the claim the 1st half is nothing but a long litany of factoids punctuated with moments of superficial sentimentality between Cruise and his wife/family, Cruise needs to get Adolf to sign off on the altered plans for Valkyrie as this is the first step in seizing control of the country after they kill him. The issue becomes that this tense moment should have been a true jewel of the film but it’s treated, honestly, like the re-enactment all the players involved were probably trying to avoid.

    Now, as much as Cruise has been maligned in the production of this film in the press I can tell you that it’s all unfounded. It’s not Cruise that is the problem here as he submits a solid, bombastic free turn as this ripped from the history book figure. He’s honestly one of the best parts of the movie. His quick flip not withstanding Cruise is a delight as the man who would try everything he could in order to defeat and kill the personification of evil. The second half is his, thankfully, and one of the things that adds to the movie’s distinctions as an honorable thriller in the true sense of the word is that it’s near bloodless. The entire last half hinges on how well the movie can propel itself forward without resorting to the usual violent trappings of other WWII film not to mention that they’re having to depend on actual events which were, themselves, bloodless to begin with.

    Thankfully the intrigue that follows as soon as the final plan is put into motion is indescribable. The events on the screen surely can be described, and they are as if we were following the 9/11 time line, but it is the nuances of Cruise as he plays von Stauffenberg, lurching ever closer to fulfilling what he went out to do and then how he deals with the aftermath. Cruise displays the kind of chameleon like qualities that warranted him a Golden Globe nomination in TROPIC THUNDER. The reason why that worked so well, and why actors like Robert Downey Jr. gained some attention, is that they gave themselves to the parts they were playing. Tom Cruise gave in to what von Stauffenberg was about in a way that not only felt genuine but impressed me with his taciturn delivery of the film’s key moments when it isn’t words that pay off, it’s the expressions that do.

    And I think this is why I’m so disappointed with the end result of what we have. You have Cruise leading the charge to make this movie so much more than just a re-creation, what this film mostly feels like, but everyone else on the periphery just feels like British (Branagh, Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp) and American (Tom Wilkinson dominating everyone else) actors just playing their parts. If you look at why a film like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN worked so well or why DOWNFALL starring Bruno Ganz was so affecting it really comes down to how well you cast your parts. In RYAN you had a clear verbal demarcation that Americans, well, were going to sound like Americans while the Germans, we all remember the one that gets away and comes back to haunt Hanks and Co., were going to sound like Germans. In DOWNFALL there wasn’t any of that clap-trap going on. It was a full-on German production that cut right to the core of bringing to life as to why this was a sinister regime that needed to die; I would dare any of you to find a better Hitler anywhere else on the screen who manages a 1/10th of the evil that Bruno Ganz brings to life.

    VALKYRIE doesn’t have any of that. We have countries of all kinds filling in for the Germans and while I guess that works fine for some people it’s a distraction to others. It was to me and it took away from what should have been a movie about the last throes of Adolf Hitler, the walls slowly and steadily closing in on the Nazi party while a pack of men seek to euthanize it sooner rather than later. Instead we have a movie that won’t make you too angry that you just spent $10 on a story that could have been delivered so much better if everyone else shared the passion Tom Cruise delivers throughout the entire production.

    And let’s finish out the year by letting Ray Schillaci get the last word…


    Don’t Judge a Movie by its Title

    When was the last time you sat in a movie theater and found that you discovered something special? A future talent that could get you excited again to go to the movies rather than wait to see it on DVD. Someone who you could look forward to screaming out, “Ya gotta see this person’s work!”

    I remember the debut of “Tattooed Love Boys” by the Pretenders or “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads and running out and telling all my friends that these people were going to leave a mark in the music industry. I was shunned in the beginning. They did not have the foresight. The same went with a little Canadian horror show entitled, “Shivers”. I raised my glass to its fledgling director, David Cronenberg. Once again, my friends abandoned me. But they thought I maybe on to something when I lead them to a little known street thriller called “Assault on Precinct 13″ directed by newbie John Carpenter. I was finally vindicated with the sneak preview of Carpenter’s next outing, “Halloween” which all of us jammed the theater time and time again.

    Later, I would find some really cool minor “B” classics that my friends looked forward to me recommending which included “The Hidden” and “Vice Squad”. The talent might not have moved onto greater things but there was no denying the raw power behind the creative force. This leads me to introducing a must-see movie (for all you horror/action/suspense fans) and director that I happened to catch at the International Horror and Sci-Fi Film Festival in Phoenix last month.

    The title is terribly misleading, and the director and writers have nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, it is the product of an unimaginative marketing department, which could hurt this fantastic fun film. The title alone had me dread going into the theater for the viewing, but its director, Ben Rock was such a nice sincere guy who had a genuine love and wonderful knowledge of the genre it peaked my interest enough to give it 10 minutes or so.

    Boy, what a surprise! Ben Rock’s “Alien Raiders” KICKS ASS!! This movie is everything we love about escaping into a dark movie theater ““ the adrenalin rush, the unnerving creepiness that almost makes you want to close your eyes, but you’re too excited to see what the director has up his sleeve next. I’m sorry if I’m raising expectations too high, but I went in expecting low-rent, unimaginative Roger Corman or worse Uwe Boll. This movie has it all, engaging characters, an eerie setting and a director at the helm that is ready to take you on a roller coaster ride you won’t soon forget. There are images that stay in your mind (empty supermarket aisles, a handwritten blood-stained window front, to name a few) and make you wonder, “What’s next?”

    If it was not for the lame title, we the audience would start off thinking this were a possible political/terrorist thriller. That soon changes after ten minutes and we get a hint of something out of a cool X-Files episode. I’ll be brief and stay to my m.o. of being spoiler free. A small band, of what appears to be, masked militants break into a sleepy little town’s supermarket and begin a hostage situation along with a couple of chilling killings. This is not by-the-book suspense. The scene is unnerving and is like watching Hitchcock for the first time. Don’t worry; Rock does not get carried away with himself with this wonderful piece of pulp. He tends to throw in quips and situations that elicit nervous laughs and make one enjoy the ride. Adding to the fun are not only a team of talented writers and crew, but a great cast lead by Carlos Bernard (of “24” fame) as well.

    Turns out, our militants are actually rogue scientists seeking out a very dangerous group of aliens disguised as human beings. I know, sounds bargain-basement, but Rock and crew elevate the tale much like “The Hidden” did, which became a sleeper at the box office and went on to spawn a sequel. Yes, the story has many elements that we will recognize from other films (The Mist, The Hidden, Carpenter’s The Thing, to name a few), but in many ways we end up appreciating it more than some of the bigger budgeted and CGI ridden spectacles that have trashed our theaters of late.

    At the Q&A a couple of people had some great suggestions for replacement titles, Raw Feed and Warner Brothers should take note (because you have huge potential with this Rock and his film). One tongue-in-cheek title proved to be fun and go along with the tone of the film, “Clean Up in Aisle 13″. But the one that won me over was a wonderful play on words “Aisle 51″. The entire setting is in a supermarket, much like “The Mist” but contains far more dread and proves to be much more satisfying.

    I urge all of you to email or write Raw Feed and Warner Brothers and push for a theatrical release, rather than the usual direct-to-video. This film deserves to be seen on the big screen having its audience scream and laugh with it. Hopefully a title change will ensue, a theatrical release date will be granted and I (along with many others) will see a sign of cinematic hope from a bottom-dollar industry that caters to bigger budget fare that lacks the creativeness that Ben Rock, cast & crew have displayed.

  • Weekend Shopping Guide 10/10/08: Paging Dr. Spaceman

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    As much as I loved the first season of 30 Rock, the second season (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) is pure genius. Although a truncated 15-episode season due to the writer’s strike, some of the episodes in that run should be added to the pantheon of sitcom greats – from Jack Donaghy’s (Alec Baldwin) one-man therapy session with Tracy Jordan, to the cast’s “Midnight Train To Georgia” musical number. The 2-disc set features audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a table read, a look at Tina Fey’s SNL hosting gig, an Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Q&A, 30 Rock live at the UCB, and more.

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    I’ve described in the past my utter delight in gadgets that magnify things – going all the way back to childhood – and the ultimate high-end version of that is the Portable Digital Magnifier ($179.99). It’s a handheld device featuring a 2″ LCD screen and an LED-lit lens that magnifies objects from 5x-20x. You can even freeze the image on the screen. You can recharge the batteries via USB, providing hours and hours of giddy magnifying fun.

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    For criminy’s sake – it’s taken forever, but we in the US have FINALLY gotten a box set containing all of the various travel documentaries hosted by Python Michael Palin in the uber-wonderful Michael Palin Collection (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$249.98 SRP). The set features Hemingway Adventures/Great Railway Journeys, Full Circle, Pole To Pole, Around The World In 80 Days, Sahara, Himalaya, and New Europe. The titles are also available separately, if you just need to pick up the new stuff. Either way, GET THEM.

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    I can’t even begin to express just how delighted I am with the 50th anniversary edition of Orson Welles’ classic venture into film noir, Touch Of Evil (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP). Maybe that’s because it contains three separate cuts of the film, fully restored and remastered – the heavily studio-edited theatrical version, the restored version (that matches Welles’ vision of the film), and a preview version that incorporates some of Welles’ requests. In addition, the set features audio commentaries on all 3 versions, a retrospective documentary, a look at the restoration process, and a full reproduction of the 58-page memo Welles sent to the studio.

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    It’s hard to believe that we’re already up to the fourth volume of The Three Stooges Collection (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP). What that means in the timeline is that we’re now in the period from 1943-1945 – which means that the next set should feature the final shorts featuring Curly Howard as one of the Stooges. For now, though, enjoy the trio’s golden period.

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    This makes the thirteenth or fourteenth time they’ve been released on DVD, but a trio of Alfred Hitchcock’s certifiable classics have been given remastered 2-disc special editions – Rear Window, Vertigo, and Psycho (Universal, Rated PG/PG/R, DVD-$26.98 SRP each). All 3 flicks are now packed with audio commentaries, documentaries, featurettes, interviews, trailers, and more.

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    Get all of your festive holiday specials with the Peanuts: Deluxe Holiday Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP), featuring the newly-remastered special editions of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. Each disc features a new retrospective making-of featurette and bonus special, while A Charlie Brown Christmas also contains a song sampler.

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    Another of the classic – well, mostly classic – stop motion Rankin/Bass holiday specials makes its way to DVD with Jack Frost (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). How can you not watch a winter love story featuring the villainous Kubla Kraus the Cossack?

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    I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed I am that – despite brilliant, newly remastered sound and picture – the new edition of Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is practically featureless, save for a trio of episodes from the animated Beetlejuice and the isolated score track found on the original release. No commentary, no featurettes, no retrospective documentary – nothing that all the other Burton films have gotten. What’s up with that? If you just want to see the flick, I’d recommend you pick up the Blu-Ray edition ($34.99 SRP), where you can at least appreciate the sound and picture – ’cause that’s all you’re really getting in this release.

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    Although the story is rather flat and doesn’t hold up to much scrutiny, Sleeping Beauty (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is the one Disney film that I watch just to admire the visual design (due largely to designer Evinyd Earle) and the incredible 2:55 widescreen canvas. The new 2-disc 50th anniversary edition that is sparklingly clean and pops like a champagne cork. Bonus features include a never-before-seen alternate opening sequence, deleted songs, a new making-of documentary, an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and much more. But honestly, if you’ve got a player, I highly recommend you pick up the Blu-Ray edition ($34.99 SRP), as this is the first of the classic Disney films to get the high definition treatment – and it is a wonder to behold. I can only hope the other classics in the Disney library arrive quickly (though, knowing Disney’s history, it will be a long, slow trickle).

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    It seems like there’s no end to the classic Doctor Who adventures still in the vaults, as we get not only a Tom Baker adventure with The Brain Of Morbius (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), but also the massive Colin Baker epic The Trial Of A Time Lord (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). As usual for these anorak’s delights, they’re absolutely packed with commentaries, deleted scenes, interviews, featurettes, and much more.

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    Of a more recent vintage, there’s the animated Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$9.98 SRP), featuring the David Tennant Doctor and companion Martha Jones as the traverse the universe on a quest to find an ancient starship. Bonus features include cast interviews, an animation test, featurettes, animatics, deleted scenes, and more.

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    Although launched as a Doctor Who spin-off aimed at the teen market, I find The Sarah Jane Adventures (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) – starring classic Who companion Liz Sladen – to be a much more enjoyable expansion of the franchise than the laughably awful Torchwood. Maybe it’s the snappy writing, maybe it’s the sense of intelligent fun, or maybe it’s just that the characters – and the actors playing them – are just enjoyable. Whatever it may be, check out the complete first season for yourself, featuring interviews, featurettes, outtakes, audio clips, and more.

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    As beautiful and memorable as it is, do not show Watership Down (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP) to a small child. Just don’t. The tears may dry, but the trauma lasts a lifetime… And that’s just the Art Garfunkel tune. The new edition is completely remastered, and features a conversation with the filmmakers, a featurette on the film’s visual style, and a storyboard-to-screen comparison.

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    Well, we’ve finally hit the wall. The eleventh season of The Simpsons (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) is the one I clearly remember as being the first of the just bad seasons, where the show turned into just a delivery system for gags and lost the charm and comedy of the early golden seasons. Still, the DVD set is worth picking up for the always-entertaining commentaries on every episode, plus deleted scenes and featurettes. Oh, and by the way – whose idea was it at Fox to cheap out and shove the discs into cardboard slots for this season? Thanks for all of the disc scratches, ya mooks. Now change it back.

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    Though I’m getting a bit tired of all of the South Park best-ofs that are coming down the pike, at least the 2-disc South Park: The Cult Of Cartman (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP) – which collects 12 Cartman-centric episodes – features newly-produced animation in the form of “Life Lessons” introduced by Cartman. Oh, and a sticker and official membership card.

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    From years of watching it during my frequent Nick at Nite binges when the block first began all those years ago, I have the theme tune to My Three Sons (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) burned into my brain. ACH! See, it’s in there now! ARGH!!! The first volume of the premiere season features 18 remastered episodes, and THAT THEME SONG!

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    There’s nothing like sparkling fresh Ray Harryhausen, and that’s exactly what you’ll see with the new 50th anniversary edition of The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad (Sony, Rated G, DVD-$19.94 SRP). Not only does the tale of high seas adventure and creatures galore look great, it’s also loaded with an audio commentary, retrospective featurettes on the film and Harryhausen, a spotlight on composer Bernard Herrman’s score, music videos, John Landis interviewing Harryhausen, and more.

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    Fill up your pre-Halloween viewing with the new Blu-Ray edition of The Omen Collection (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$129.98 SRP), featuring all 3 original tales of The Littlest Antichrist, plus the 2006 remake. The bonus materials are the same as those found on the standard DVD editions, including commentaries, featurettes, trailers, and more. I do want to mention, though, that Fox has chosen to package this multi-disc set in what is – by far – the cheapest, flimsiest packaging I’ve ver encountered for either a DVD or Blu-Ray release. It’s beyond cheap. Be sure you’re discs haven’t dislodged in transit before you buy, as they’re only held in place by a foam circle. C’mon, Fox.

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    Peyo’s little blue mushroom-dwelling creations are back in The Smurfs: Season One Volume Two (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP), featuring another 20 smurfing episodes sure to smurf your smurfing smurf. The 2-disc set also features a featurette reflecting back on the show.

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    Not only does The Munsters: The Complete Series (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP) contain all 70 episodes, but it also sports both feature-length movies (Munster, Go Home & The Munsters Revenge), the unaired pilot, A&E Biographies (on Fred Gwynne, Yvonne DeCarlo, and Al Lewis), an in-depth documentary on the show, and the “Family Portrait” episode in color.

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    There have been dozens of releases featuring the numerous episodes that have moved into the public domain, but Paramount has finally put out the official second season set of The Beverly Hillbillies (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), featuring all 36 episodes. Bonus materials include the original episode sponsor openings and closings, Irene Ryan’s screen test, a clip from the 1963 CBS Fall Preview Show, a CBS network promo, and a Paul Henning interview.

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    Certainly on the “to give to my nephews” list this holiday season is Speed Racer: The Complete Classic Collection (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) – which features all 52 episodes houses in a Mach 5 tin. Bonus features include a featurette, an episode of Speed Racer: The Next Generation, and a look behind-the-scenes of Next Gen. Sure, the show is hokey and poorly animated – but it’s still got a lot of poppy pep.

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    Even over 20 years later, there’s no denying that Kathleen Turner’s performance in Body Heat (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$28.99 SRP) is certainly… memorable. Very memorable. As a film, it’s a nice little piece of modern film noir, written and directed by Lawrence Kasdan and co-starring William Hurt, and the new Blu-Ray edition features a nice high definition transfer, a trio of featurettes, vintage interviews with Turner & Hurt, and lifted scenes.

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    Most don’t think of the man in black when they think of the holiday season, but the Johnny Cash Christmas Specials: 1976-7979 box set (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) proves that false, with 66 star-studded performances of hits and festive treats.

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    Set in 1945 on a navy cargo ship far from battles in the Pacific theater, Mister Roberts (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP) is the Tony-Award winning play that – in this remarkable live TV production – finds Robert Hays cast as Lt. Doug Roberts, who longs to see real action but instead finds himself butting heads with the dictatorial Captain (Charles Durning). Rounding out the cast are Howard Hesseman and a young Kevin Bacon, this is quite a gem from the vaults.

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    You know when a band puts out a lackluster EP of material that’s been sitting around, as a stop-gap instead of releasing a new album? That’s exactly what Michael Moore’s Slacker Uprising (Disinformation, Not Rated, DVD-$9.95 SRP) feels like, as it’s essentially material cobbled together from his “Get Out The Vote” tour for the 2004 presidential election. It’s available for free on the internet, but the DVD loads up with 9 additional featurettes.

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    Has it really been that long since the last Robot Chicken (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) box set? It must be, because the complete third season is now available, featuring 20 new episodes, plus audio commentaries, featurettes, animatics, a studio your, video blogs, a gag reel, and more.

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    The ragtag band of global crimefighters led by Jim Phelps returns in the complete fifth season of Mission: Impossible (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). This season features the addition of castmember Lesley Warren as Dana Lambert. The 6-disc set features all 23 episodes of DUH-duh-duh-DUH-duh-duh action.

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    A must-have from the vaults, be sure to pick up and give a spin to the 1945 adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s The Portrait Of Dorian Gray (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.97 SRP), starring George Sanders, Angela Lansbury, and Peter Lawford. Bonus features include an audio commentary, a theatrical short, the theatrical cartoon Quiet Please, and the theatrical trailer.

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    Even the kiddies with their eyes normally glued to Nickelodeon can begin celebrating the holidays with Wonder Pets!: Save The Nutcracker and Dora The Explorer: Dora Celebrates Three Kings Day! (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP each).

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    I must admit, I was surprised that Brotherhood (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) – about a pair of brothers on opposite ends of the criminal scale – made it back for a second season. It never really caught my eye, even though I thought the premise was interesting. Well, the second season does gel a bit more, even if it was cut short by the writer’s strike. The 3-disc set features all 10 episodes, plus the season 3 premiere of Dexter.

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    The only reaction that I got from M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is just how much I’ve come to loathe M. Night Shyamalan. That, and the fact that his eco-terror mystery flick is so insipidly written and executed that it makes The Day After Tomorrow feel like Citizen Kane. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, a quintet of behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a gag reel. A Blu-Ray edition ($39.99 SRP) is also available, featuring the same bonus materials, and the same bleh flick but much prettier.

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    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

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