By Christopher Stipp
The Archives, Right Here
I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Delightful Hanukkah to you all…I’ve got tons to talk about today…
I think years of doing my favorite trailers has become a little same ol’ same ol’. This time, however, for those keeping track of me as I’ve been doing this column now for almost 5(!) years now it looks like I need to shake it up a little bit. No one hates lists more than me, I rarely do them, so I figure I would just stick in some of the more memorable moments from this last year. From the good to the bad, I figured I would reflect on what 2008 has brought me. So, I’ve interspersed two film reviews, a check-in call from Ray Schillaci along with a DVD giveaway (among the other ones I’m runnin’) as I keep it loose and informal. Should anyone have anything to add as their own BEST/WORST for aught 8 feel free to leave it in the comments section below as I’m interested to hear about your own Best of 08.
BEST FREE T-SHIRT GIVEN AWAY AT COMIC-CON: THE WATCHMEN
This shirt made the wait to not only catch the panel that showed some of the best footage that we had seen to that point. Zach Snyder cut together a loose trailer that played more than a few times and, to be honest, it triggered the same response in the crowd as when he played the trailer for 300. To boot, the interviews I did on site right after the panel, even though they were not exclusive, made the trek from Arizona worthwhile. The ravenous scramble for this free piece of merch was not unlike the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Seriously, some of these kids need a Stairmaster or get on some kind of cardio program. I want to see future nerds in better shape than what I’ve been seeing at these conventions.
Coming in a close second would absolutely have to be the TERMINATOR: SALVATION shirt that was given away after the Terminator panel which surprised even me; I wasn’t expecting much and was more than pleasantly surprised to see what G was up to with this property and, as a topper, a sweet ass shirt to wear to the gym.
As an aside: Check out Rich Johnston’s WATCHMENSCH comic that is coming soon to your local comics retailer. Not even Alan Moore is above a little parody.
BEST REASON TO HATE PUBLICISTS: The Kids in the Hall 2008 Tour
One of the really nice things about writing for this site is that I basically dictate my own material. I lick my thumb, stick it up in the air of my own mind and then determine what way the wind is blowing. For those who know me, which isn’t many of you and I know that, I am a Kids in the Hall mark. I own all their damn DVDs, I drove 6 hours just to see a live show they did years ago, I bought a lot more merchandise than anyone whose name is Mark David Chapman shouldn’t and I have always maintained they really were an influential force in modern sketch comedy. Now, when it was announced they were doing a spring tour I was all about finding a way to talk to one, perhaps all if I was particularly lucky, of the KITH. I figured one PR rep would know the other and that it would be a smooth process. Who would’ve thought that the Kids in the Hall only had one publicist? I was thrilled when I eventually landed to the person who handles them and was actually enthused that I showed an interest in covering their tour. Their publicist wrote back quickly. I was amazed. They were interested. What did I have in mind, they asked. So, I make every possible concession I could in order to get these interviews. I was in rare form; I was giving away the Featured Interview space, I was willing to do these interviews at all hours of the day, I was whoring myself to every degree. All I wanted was some exclusive content and some time with the Kids.
It worked.
They wrote back, giving the site some non-exclusive (Hint #1) content and some ambiguous time about when to set all these interviews up (Clue #2). Like a sucker, I posted it. However, they wrote back letting me know how great it was that I posted some generic information linking back to a site that wasn’t ours and content that was branded as such.
I am absolutely, totally, and completely in love with you. I just thought you should know that before we go any further π
Seriously, this is great – now we need to get you on the phone with the guys so that you can have some fresh meat for the site beast. Let me get them safely on the road, and then let’s talk about anything and everything you might want to do!
Thanks again, Christopher – it’s truly a pleasure to work with you on this (I don’t get to say that often!)
Well, what would you think? Yeah, that you were the f’ing man, I tell you that. And I think you would be right. Who wouldn’t believe that pile of steaming BS? Fast forward 3 weeks of teasing. I was so hungry for this that I thought it was in the bag. The only bag I was in, I take it, was some Nigerian 419 scam. Like a loser I kept going forward and the following e-mail came in when I could tell it wasn’t me she was hoping to hook up but, rather, the overlord of everything here at the site, Mr. Kevin Smith, that they was ultimately interested in. This is speculation but since I never was able to produce the man or even play with the thought of forwarding her half-assed invitation to anyone who I thought would even come close of pushing this up the ladder (the world became clear when I saw the line) I will never know for sure. Why I couldn’t see that this was the first move of the Bad PR person’s Heisman play against me I don’t know…
Hey!
I don’t care what you have to do – rent a horse, or a zeppelin, or a trolley car. Get yourself to one of the LA area shows. It will be WORTH the trip, I swear: the new show is fantabulous. The guys are having a blast – we just wrapped up four shows in NY and they’re headed to Texas next to tackle Houston and Dallas.
Dave has written what is perhaps the most classic, textbook sketch I’ve ever seen him produce – it should be taught on college campuses because it’s that good, and round, and premise-perfect. Bruce has contributed a truly hilarious bit called “Grade 8 Dance” that audiences howl over.
The Russo brothers directed a clip that’s featured in the show – it’s called “Carfuckers”, which probably gives away the premise a bit. It’s in the main viewer on Funny or Die today (a deal done with the company that produced the piece). Go check it out!
Not sure how to accomplish this, but we’d love to invite Kevin to the LA show as well – I think we’re going to be hosting a reception afterwards, and it would be good to shake hands and that sort of thing. Can you tell me how I might reach him to invite him too?
If you’d like to speak to any of the guys, let me know and I’ll arrange it. If you have a preference for one over any other, just tell me and I’ll take care of it on this end.
Hope you’re doing great – but you shouldn’t be reading this email anymore. You should be on Orbitz right now, booking a flight to LA for May 9 π
SIGNED,
BAD PUBLICIST
So, did you all see the interviews? Did any of them materialize? Check out my archives. Then, if you had the opportunity, check out my SEND box in my Yahoo account and tally up every unresponded to e-mail I tossed their way when I felt things were going south after I couldn’t magically produce her real quarry. Again, I realize I’m not from Rolling Stone, I know I don’t write for Slate but this is just another example of why I abhor all the sketchy, over-promising publicists who dangle the carrot and then see which of the litter they can get to bite at it. Invariably I end up being picked last but take a look at the archives this year; I’ll just find someone better to talk to.
BEST GRAPHIC NOVEL: Too Cool to be Forgotten
To talk too much about this graphic novel would take away from the funny and heart-breakingly sad moments in this traveling back in time story about one man who revisits his high school years as he tries to kick his smoking addiction and, instead, is given another chance at his formative years. It’s Alex Robinson’s compelling artwork and delicate care with which he handles his characters that make this an easy pick.
BEST GRAPHIC TRAVELOGUE: Moresukine
Imagine you are a stranger in a strange land. You don’t speak the language. You want to do as the Romans do but what if you don’t know what it is they really do? You ask the Internet, of course. Dirk Schwieger consulted the ranks of folks who visited his comic blog to offer up things, dares really, that explored Japanese culture and customs. From having Dirk figure out how to use a mechanized toilet to actually using a capsule hotel there are small pieces of real life that show us how the other half really lives. The reason it makes my list as best travelogue of the year is because it’s the kind of work that is absent in so many travel guides or personal narratives. This is one of the best ways to take a fly over of a country and peek into what you or I would be interested in knowing. The bigger question that you should find asking yourself after reading this fascinating book: What would foreigners be dared to do if they’ve never been to America?
BEST REASON TO THINK THAT SETH ROGEN WAS NOT THE MOST INTERESTING FUNNY MAN OF 2008: Danny McBride
Did anyone here see Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express or even The Foot Fist Way? The latter I had to see right after I saw Tropic Thunder as I just savaged the trailer when I first saw it. I didn’t get it and the trailer was horrible in relaying the kind of comedy that Danny dabbles in. He’s irreverent in a way that’s not a soundbite and he’s genuine dead-pan delivery separates him from the rest of the herd.
FAVORITE INTERVIEW: Danny Boyle
This cat not only made a movie that would become the movie I took my wife on our 1st date but he was just the nicest and most gregarious person you would ever want to meet in a closed room. Too many times you get stuck in moments that become rote wherein you just want to get your questions answered and your piece posted. Danny wasn’t like that insofar that he had a real openness about him. His genial nature made for a relaxed atmosphere and he was happy as a clam to answer any question asked. It was a dream interview and for him to have been so accessible was reason enough for me to question any “artist” who thinks that in order to be great you have to be elusive.
BEST REASON TO LOVE PUBLICISTS: Name Redacted
I worked with a ton of excellent PR firms who helped land interview people from the likes of Henry Rollins (not up yet), Jesse Ventura (not up yet), Darren Aronofsky, Danny Boyle and tons of others through the year. These people don’t like being mentioned by name (but make sure you get their client’s name right!) but I make it a point to always send a thank you e-mail whenever possible to say how much I appreciate them getting me in to do my thing.
These things don’t happen in a vacuum so it’s nice to recognize those who are merely standing in the way of you and the subject. I don’t know if they appreciate hearing it but it’s important to know there are a few who will go the extra mile to get you your story.
BEST FILM: The Wrestler
This film redefined what the word “resonate” means.
It’s not enough to just talk about the performances on the screen from Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei. They’re captivating. What is really of note that explains why so many people have loved this movie is that it stays with you. The moments and words in this film are like oatmeal to your mental ribs; as such, it’s satisfying and you are not left wanting.
A longer review will be coming but it’s enough to know that this film should be seen by anyone who wants a movie that stirrs you from the inside.
BEST SURPRISE: Tropic Thunder
I wasn’t sure what to make of this film when I saw the trailer. It was interesting and it seemed like a goofy comedy.
And then I saw it.
The satire, the raw viscera of seeing Steve Coogan’s head held up with Ben Stiller drinking its juices, listening to Robert Downey Jr.’s treatise on going retard, Danny McBride’s turn as a pyromaniac hell bent on visual spectacle and, as a capper, Tom Cruise playing a role that I will go on record as saying it was the best he’s ever done in my eyes (he made me laugh for the 1st time…intentionally).
WORST INTERVIEW: Dicky Barrett from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
I don’t know if he just hated the way I talked or if he didn’t care for the simple questions I was asking but homeboy was not enthused to chat with me about his latest album. They all can’t be winners, I know, but looking back at how curt and matter-of-fact things went reinforced the idea that you just have to be ready for any situation that comes up and to make do with you’re given. Sometimes, that’s not much and this one still spooks me every time I have to do a phoner.
BEST ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN: The Dark Knight
Who else got wrapped up in the un-campaign that drew in followers from all over the U.S. of A as people looked for bowling balls, got cakes in the mail, went to campaign rallies for a candidate that didn’t exist and other on-line scavenger hunt that added up to one of the largest films that ever was? I sure did and I loved it. There’s something to be said about marketers that want to take things to the next level and this campaign did not disappoint. For every person who was annoyed by the ploys to get people more and more hyped for this film there is no denying that by the time the movie opened the core audience was ravenous to see what was going to be on the screen. Nolan didn’t disappoint but Bale’s voice came awfully close to ruining the whole mystique.
BEST REASON TO LOOK FORWARD TO 2009: I’m not sure
One of the things that make life on this side of the fence so much fun is that you never know what might come out of the year. I’ve had a lot of other small bits that are just too numerous to mention but, like I mentioned, since I am slowly growing tired of critics’ Top 10 list of the year I figured I would try and put this year into a different kind of perspective. At the end of all of this, though, is the appreciation for all of you. You allow me to knock on the virtual doors of publicists everywhere as I wonder whether I’ll be deemed good enough to be let in through their door. With every passing week and every passing interview I hope this process gets easier and easier.
Now, let’s give away a movie…
DEATH RACE
This was a much maligned movie. Some people have problems with it but I don’t share that opinion. The movie was a real gas for what it was and I enjoyed all the incredibly unbelievable and impossible things that went on it. Jason Statham proves why he is the go-to man for these movies and for anyone else to say different has something against genre flicks. Since this is the holidays, I’ll make this really easy for you. E-mail me your name at Christopher_Stipp@Yahoo.com. I’ll choose at random some readers who haven’t already extorted free stuff from me in past few weeks.
BONUS FEATURES “β DVD AND BLU-RAYΓ’βΒ’ HI-DEF:
- THEATRICAL AND UNRATED EXTENDED VERSIONS OF THE FILM
- START YOUR ENGINES: MAKING A DEATH RACE: From pre and post-production to the casting of Jason Statham, this bonus documentary takes viewers on set to see how a huge, stunt-driven Hollywood movie was made.
- BEHIND THE WHEEL: DISSECTING THE STUNTS: In this featurette, the many jaw-dropping stunts in the film are documented including interviews with the cast and crew.
- FEATURE COMMENTARY WITH DIRECTOR PAUL W.S. ANDERSON and PRODUCER JEREMY BOLT (Unrated Version Only).
SYNOPSIS: Terminal Island: The very near future. The world’s hunger for extreme sports and reality competitions has grown into reality TV bloodlust. Now, the most extreme racing competition has emerged and its contestants are murderous prisoners. Tricked-out cars, caged thugs and smoking-hot navigators combine to create a juggernaut series with bigger ratings than the Super Bowl. The rules of the Death Race are simple: Win five events, and you’re set free. Lose and you’re road kill splashed across the Internet. International action star Jason Statham leads the action-thriller’s cast as three-time speedway champion Jensen Ames, an ex-con framed for the murder of his wife. Forced to don the mask of the mythical driver Frankenstein, a Death Race crowd favorite who seems impossible to kill, Ames is given an easy choice by Terminal Island ‘s ruthless Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen): Suit up and drive or never see his little girl again. His face hidden by a hideous mask, he must win the insane three-day challenge in order to gain freedom. But to claim the prize, Ames must survive a gauntlet of the most vicious criminals – including nemesis Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson) – in the country’s toughest prison. Trained by his coach (Ian McShane) to drive a monster Mustang V8 Fastback outfitted with 2 mounted mini-guns, flamethrowers and napalm, an innocent man must destroy everything in his path to win the most twisted spectator sport on Earth.
MARLEY & ME: A REVIEW
I don’t read any newspaper writer whose musings deal with the mundane or observational, I depend on the comedians of the world to skewer day-to-day life in the way that the successful ones can, but I certainly don’t believe that a newspaper columnist’s sense of wonderment at the “ah, shucks” level of life warrants a cinematic envisioning.
One of the issues I have with MARLEY & ME is its dependence on the dog as a metaphor for all the bad and good things that happen in the lives of Owen Wilson, portraying the milquetoast, middle-of-the-road Andy Rooney like pundit John Grogan. It isn’t that your average canine isn’t capable of imbuing your life with a little bit of humanitarianism, I know I grew up with those commercials that talked about how owning one could help geezers lower their blood pressure, but to have this as the basis for a full length movie where we’re bashed over the head with enough obviousness that this dog represents everything good and fair in this man’s life is a little hokey. I think the movie will play well with those who take stock in books written by Mitch Albom as the reasons why they love reading and why the Hallmark channel still churns out yarns that even Laura Ingalls Wilder would say are obnoxiously sentimental.
But that’s fine, you see.
This movie isn’t for me. It’s not even for those who I could engage in a debate about whether THE FOUNTAIN is pure genius (it is) or whether it was an exercise in artful indulgence. This movie is for people like my wife who love movies that want to make you feel all gooey inside, to hell with real conflict or dramatic infusions that would deepen the film’s original meaning. No, instead I get the story of how one irascible and temperamental mutt chews everything these people own as John pines to have the life of his fellow reporter (not columnist. The film will also take its time differentiating these two professions to the point that if you don’t get the difference by the end you have no business watching this) and best friend in human form, Eric Dane. In fact, I would posit that I wish we could have followed the life of Dane as he seems to be going off to Columbia, traveling all over the country, simply living the life of a newspaper Lothario as be beds scads of different women (the movie makes sure to point this out) while Owen Wilson is trapped writing dissertations on whatever people who read the newspaper to get their slice of life read about.
It’s not so much the mundaneness that I mind, actually I mind it to the point that I wonder why there is a shockingly dangerous moment that is inserted right in the middle of the film, his neighbor is stabbed in her own driveway, if for no other reason than to move the plot as this chunk of actually interesting material is dealt with in such a flippant way I actually feel let down. What an opportunity to deal with the dark underbelly of life in any community where there come the moments when a columnist like John could talk about how this altered his sense of purpose.
No, it’s just used to talk about how he gets the hell out of his neighborhood.
I know like it seems I’m being hard on this film for how soft a sell this is going to be for all involved but there are some real wasted opportunities in this movie. As well, you have Jennifer Aniston turning in a performance that is alarmingly casual, someone forgot to tell her this wasn’t just a longer episode of Friends and I am serious when I say that either this woman can’t turn in an actual performance when needed or she’s mildly retarded for not understanding the ways life changes you when you go from no kids to 3 kids and being bitchy doesn’t count as a stretch for the end zone, and let’s also talk about Kathleen Turner. I apologize that I haven’t seen her in anything since WAR AND THE ROSES but I literally rocked backward when I saw Large Marge personified as a dog trainer and realized it was Turner. I’m not sure where she’s been or why she would take a truly thankless role but she turns in a performance that genuinely makes you want to take out your pocketbook to donate to whatever organization has been established to help her get back on her feet. A real reversal of fortunes and the reason why I bring this up is that it’s glaringly obvious to anyone who knows who Turner is. It’s distracting. However, there is a bright light in this film. Alan Arkin. The man can take a role as the editor in charge and turn it into something special. It’s hard to pin down why Arkin is the conduit through which all the life of this thing genuinely flowed through but he’s the real mentor of Grogan. While we don’t get a lot of time with him Arkin doles out the fatherly advice while being the calm voice in the cacophony of averageness.
To say why the dog isn’t deserving of any real judgment by me in this review would to say that there was something special about the trained animal in this movie. The dog is a dog and in order to make sense of Owen Wilson’s hypothesis about why this dog represents the kind of humanity that warranted this film it is on the shoulders of all the other actors in this piece to make him relevant. Unfortunately, everyone is too busy chewing up their own scenery that the dog is an afterthought until it’s time for the movie’s penultimate moment. And the moment isn’t deserved. It’s rushed, it’s hokey and it doesn’t do anything to contextualize the almost 2 hours I spent trying to figure out the answer the question of why we’re watching a movie about a dog. Any answer wouldn’t be a good one as this film would belong better on ABC, interspersed with commercials for Purina Puppy Chow.
VALKYRIE: A REVIEW
The sooner you realize that Kenneth Branagh isn’t really in this movie the better you’ll be off in realizing what is at issue with this film.
Branagh is billed second in the movie’s IMDB page and it made we wonder as I watched this movie about why that’s the case. I hope I’m not spoiling anything by saying that we only see him as he takes the first crack at killing Der Fuhrer in this film, a token appearance later and then once more in a moment where he’s all by himself at the end of the picture. I just couldn’t grasp why there was such a Houdini act with some of the players of this film but it’s really representative of why this movie only deserves to be a thriller when you look at the last half of the movie, the first half deserving to be lost in whatever editing bay it came out of.
The problem with the first half is that we have a few issues that need hammering out. First of which is why Tom Cruise’s portrayal as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg starts off with a rather compelling moment in his career, a real watershed that made him the linchpin of this whole attempt to kill Adolf Hitler (an attempt that would the last one and 9 months before he committed suicide before the allies had the chance to grab him), and I don’t know if it was brevity or the fact that they were running short on time but the man flips awfully fast. The way in which Cruise is approached and the manner in which he accepts not only the offer to kill Hitler, never once minding the fact that his family’s life, his children and his wife, would then be targets on the acceptance of this opportunity, but the swiftness from how he goes from conflicted military man to full on freedom fighter is alarming. It defies any sense of logic if you were to wonder what it would take to get you to kill your own president if you happened to have a beef with what your government represented.
The second problem of the first half is its History channel treatment of the events that took place leading up to the assassination attempt. I was less shocked at the swiftness of Cruise’s acceptance to be a party to off Hitler than I was at the cold and detached nature in which we’re treated to everything that leads up to the film’s exciting second half. To wit, Cruise and his German buddies want to rewrite the failsafe plan, Valkyrie, which would go into effect should Hitler be pronounced dead. Long story short, and this is a really long explanation that goes to support the claim the 1st half is nothing but a long litany of factoids punctuated with moments of superficial sentimentality between Cruise and his wife/family, Cruise needs to get Adolf to sign off on the altered plans for Valkyrie as this is the first step in seizing control of the country after they kill him. The issue becomes that this tense moment should have been a true jewel of the film but it’s treated, honestly, like the re-enactment all the players involved were probably trying to avoid.
Now, as much as Cruise has been maligned in the production of this film in the press I can tell you that it’s all unfounded. It’s not Cruise that is the problem here as he submits a solid, bombastic free turn as this ripped from the history book figure. He’s honestly one of the best parts of the movie. His quick flip not withstanding Cruise is a delight as the man who would try everything he could in order to defeat and kill the personification of evil. The second half is his, thankfully, and one of the things that adds to the movie’s distinctions as an honorable thriller in the true sense of the word is that it’s near bloodless. The entire last half hinges on how well the movie can propel itself forward without resorting to the usual violent trappings of other WWII film not to mention that they’re having to depend on actual events which were, themselves, bloodless to begin with.
Thankfully the intrigue that follows as soon as the final plan is put into motion is indescribable. The events on the screen surely can be described, and they are as if we were following the 9/11 time line, but it is the nuances of Cruise as he plays von Stauffenberg, lurching ever closer to fulfilling what he went out to do and then how he deals with the aftermath. Cruise displays the kind of chameleon like qualities that warranted him a Golden Globe nomination in TROPIC THUNDER. The reason why that worked so well, and why actors like Robert Downey Jr. gained some attention, is that they gave themselves to the parts they were playing. Tom Cruise gave in to what von Stauffenberg was about in a way that not only felt genuine but impressed me with his taciturn delivery of the film’s key moments when it isn’t words that pay off, it’s the expressions that do.
And I think this is why I’m so disappointed with the end result of what we have. You have Cruise leading the charge to make this movie so much more than just a re-creation, what this film mostly feels like, but everyone else on the periphery just feels like British (Branagh, Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp) and American (Tom Wilkinson dominating everyone else) actors just playing their parts. If you look at why a film like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN worked so well or why DOWNFALL starring Bruno Ganz was so affecting it really comes down to how well you cast your parts. In RYAN you had a clear verbal demarcation that Americans, well, were going to sound like Americans while the Germans, we all remember the one that gets away and comes back to haunt Hanks and Co., were going to sound like Germans. In DOWNFALL there wasn’t any of that clap-trap going on. It was a full-on German production that cut right to the core of bringing to life as to why this was a sinister regime that needed to die; I would dare any of you to find a better Hitler anywhere else on the screen who manages a 1/10th of the evil that Bruno Ganz brings to life.
VALKYRIE doesn’t have any of that. We have countries of all kinds filling in for the Germans and while I guess that works fine for some people it’s a distraction to others. It was to me and it took away from what should have been a movie about the last throes of Adolf Hitler, the walls slowly and steadily closing in on the Nazi party while a pack of men seek to euthanize it sooner rather than later. Instead we have a movie that won’t make you too angry that you just spent $10 on a story that could have been delivered so much better if everyone else shared the passion Tom Cruise delivers throughout the entire production.
And let’s finish out the year by letting Ray Schillaci get the last word…
Don’t Judge a Movie by its Title
When was the last time you sat in a movie theater and found that you discovered something special? A future talent that could get you excited again to go to the movies rather than wait to see it on DVD. Someone who you could look forward to screaming out, “Ya gotta see this person’s work!”Β
I remember the debut of “Tattooed Love Boys”Β by the Pretenders or “Psycho Killer”Β by the Talking Heads and running out and telling all my friends that these people were going to leave a mark in the music industry. I was shunned in the beginning. They did not have the foresight. The same went with a little Canadian horror show entitled, “Shivers”Β. I raised my glass to its fledgling director, David Cronenberg. Once again, my friends abandoned me. But they thought I maybe on to something when I lead them to a little known street thriller called “Assault on Precinct 13″Β directed by newbie John Carpenter. I was finally vindicated with the sneak preview of Carpenter’s next outing, “Halloween”Β which all of us jammed the theater time and time again.
Later, I would find some really cool minor “B”Β classics that my friends looked forward to me recommending which included “The Hidden”Β and “Vice Squad”Β. The talent might not have moved onto greater things but there was no denying the raw power behind the creative force. This leads me to introducing a must-see movie (for all you horror/action/suspense fans) and director that I happened to catch at the International Horror and Sci-Fi Film Festival in Phoenix last month.
The title is terribly misleading, and the director and writers have nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, it is the product of an unimaginative marketing department, which could hurt this fantastic fun film. The title alone had me dread going into the theater for the viewing, but its director, Ben Rock was such a nice sincere guy who had a genuine love and wonderful knowledge of the genre it peaked my interest enough to give it 10 minutes or so.
Boy, what a surprise! Ben Rock’s “Alien Raiders”Β KICKS ASS!! This movie is everything we love about escaping into a dark movie theater “β the adrenalin rush, the unnerving creepiness that almost makes you want to close your eyes, but you’re too excited to see what the director has up his sleeve next. I’m sorry if I’m raising expectations too high, but I went in expecting low-rent, unimaginative Roger Corman or worse Uwe Boll. This movie has it all, engaging characters, an eerie setting and a director at the helm that is ready to take you on a roller coaster ride you won’t soon forget. There are images that stay in your mind (empty supermarket aisles, a handwritten blood-stained window front, to name a few) and make you wonder, “What’s next?”Β
If it was not for the lame title, we the audience would start off thinking this were a possible political/terrorist thriller. That soon changes after ten minutes and we get a hint of something out of a cool X-Files episode. I’ll be brief and stay to my m.o. of being spoiler free. A small band, of what appears to be, masked militants break into a sleepy little town’s supermarket and begin a hostage situation along with a couple of chilling killings. This is not by-the-book suspense. The scene is unnerving and is like watching Hitchcock for the first time. Don’t worry; Rock does not get carried away with himself with this wonderful piece of pulp. He tends to throw in quips and situations that elicit nervous laughs and make one enjoy the ride. Adding to the fun are not only a team of talented writers and crew, but a great cast lead by Carlos Bernard (of “24”Β fame) as well.
Turns out, our militants are actually rogue scientists seeking out a very dangerous group of aliens disguised as human beings. I know, sounds bargain-basement, but Rock and crew elevate the tale much like “The Hidden”Β did, which became a sleeper at the box office and went on to spawn a sequel. Yes, the story has many elements that we will recognize from other films (The Mist, The Hidden, Carpenter’s The Thing, to name a few), but in many ways we end up appreciating it more than some of the bigger budgeted and CGI ridden spectacles that have trashed our theaters of late.
At the Q&A a couple of people had some great suggestions for replacement titles, Raw Feed and Warner Brothers should take note (because you have huge potential with this Rock and his film). One tongue-in-cheek title proved to be fun and go along with the tone of the film, “Clean Up in Aisle 13″Β. But the one that won me over was a wonderful play on words “Aisle 51″Β. The entire setting is in a supermarket, much like “The Mist”Β but contains far more dread and proves to be much more satisfying.
I urge all of you to email or write Raw Feed and Warner Brothers and push for a theatrical release, rather than the usual direct-to-video. This film deserves to be seen on the big screen having its audience scream and laugh with it. Hopefully a title change will ensue, a theatrical release date will be granted and I (along with many others) will see a sign of cinematic hope from a bottom-dollar industry that caters to bigger budget fare that lacks the creativeness that Ben Rock, cast & crew have displayed.
Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost wrap up their Cornetto Trilogy in epic fashion with The World’s End (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$34.98 SRP), as a group of friends return back to their home town in order to complete a legendary pub crawl, only to find their sleepy village is harboring a sinister menace. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, featurettes, deleted scenes, and outtakes.
Here we are at the fully remastered high definition edition of Star Trek: The Next Generation – Season 5 (Paramount, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$129.99 SRP), and while the quality is still high, the narrative cracks are beginning to show and will eventually lead to the running-on-fumes 7th season. But for now, the show is still firing, and even managed to pull in Leonard Nimoy for a big ol’ Spock cliffhanger finale. Bonus materials include brand new documentaries including a spotlight on the show’s music, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, episode promos, archival mission logs, and a gag reel. And speaking of that Spock finale, you can watch both it and the 6th season premiere in the feature-length cut of Star Trek: The Next Generation – Reunification (Paramount, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP), which sports an exclusive audio commentary, featurette, and deleted scenes.
It seems we’re in a golden age of witty, intelligent coming-of-age flicks, what with The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The Way Way Back, and The To Do List (Sony, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), which stars Aubrey Plaza as a high school class valedictorian who sets her post-high school graduation sights on losing her virginity in the most methodical, studious way possible. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted/extended scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.
Just in time for the forthcoming holiday regeneration of the 11th Doctor into the 12th, the BBC brings fans back to the very first instance our favorite Time Lord changed his appearance with the 1st Doctor William Hartnell’s swan song story The Tenth Planet (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP). The still-missing fourth and final episode has been reconstructed in animated form, and the 2-disc set contains the usual bevy of excellent extras including an audio commentary, featurettes, and rarities.
The best thing I can say about We’re The Millers (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP) is that it wants nothing more to be a fun, funny little character comedy and accomplishes just that, with a game cast and the straightforward comic premise of a small-time drug dealer (Jason Sudekis) who convinces his oddball neighbors (Jennifer Aniston, Will Poulter, & Emma Roberts) to join him on a drug smuggling operation to Mexico as his fake suburban family. Bonus materials include featurettes, deleted scenes, outtakes, and more.
There are no direwolves or Steve Buscemi, but HBO’s Treme (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP) has soldiered on into its three seasons with the same overlooked dignity as the city at its center, as the post-Katrina redevelopment of New Orleans continues to come with strings attached. Bonus materials include audio commentaries, music commentaries, and featurettes.
The great thing about Clear History (HBO, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP) is that it’s one of those wonderfully absurd ensemble comedies that Larry Gelbart used to write… Think Barbarians At The Gate, and you’ve got this tale of a marketing executive at an electric car company (Larry David) who is publicly humiliated when he cashes out his percentage before the company goes on to make billions. Flash forward a decade and, living as a recluse on a small island, his new life is threatened by the one he left behind.
The highest praise I can give pure popcorn entertainment like 2 Guns (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$34.98 SRP) is that its evocative of the fast & loose unlikely buddy flicks of the 80s like Tango & Cash and 48 Hours, as Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg star as a pair of undercover federal agents forced to go on the run after a drug deal goes south, each unaware that the other is an agent. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, and featurettes.
For any fan of music and the seemingly magical craft that goes into producing hits, the documentary The Greatest Ears In Town (Shelter Island, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) is a beautiful portrait of just such a genius – Arif Mardin. While you may not be familiar with Mardin by name, this doc illuminates that you certainly know the hits he’s produced from artists like The Bee Gees, Willie Nelson, Aretha Franklin, Dusty Springfield, and many more.
While much of the bloom has been taken off Woodward and Bernstein in the years since their massive scoop, there’s still something empowering about the mythologizing the duo get in All The President’s Men (Warner Bros., Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$19.98 SRP), which is getting a brand new 2-disc special edition with the feature-length documentary All The President’s Men Revisited, plus additional documentaries, an audio commentary, featurettes, a vintage interview, and the trailer.
Fox has dropped another one of their periodic nuggets of catalogue gold with the high definition arrival of Joanne Woodward’s tour de force as the troubled housewife suffering from multiple personality disorder in The Three Faces Of Eve (Fox, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP). Bonus materials include an audio commentary, a Fox Movietone News clip of the Academy Awards, and the theatrical trailer.
If you’ve ever wanted to see a grim, disheartening, and thoroughly dour take on Superman, then Zack Snyder’s drab Man Of Steel (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP) is the Superman for you, as it takes everything powerful, heroic, and uplifting about the cultural icon right out of the mix, leaving only a pale Batman wannabe with delusions of cosmic grandeur. If you think my dissatisfaction harsh, it’s not nearly as harsh as the film itself. Bonus materials include a clutch of featurettes.
Yes, yes – Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, and know there’s plenty of folksy charm to be had in the TV movie of Kenny Rogers The Gambler (Timeless Media Group, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.97 SRP), presented here in anamorphic widescreen. Heck, it’s even got Bruce Boxleitner. How can you not enjoy Captain Tron Sheridan?
Fans of the late, great Ernie Kovacs will want to pick up the straight-from-the-vaults-and-unseen-since-its-original-broadcast DVD debut of Here’s Edie (MVS, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP), the variety series starring Kovacs’ wife Edie Adams, which ran from 1962-1964. Guest stars include the likes of Sammy Davis Jr., Duke Ellington, Spike Jones, Bob Hope, Bobby Darin, and more. Bonus features include musical sketches from the Ernie Kovacs shows, ads, and a booklet.
When Mother Goose has rhymer’s block, it’s up to Elmo to try and save the day in Sesame Street: Fairy Tale Fun (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), featuring Oscar as the Prince Of Nice and Big Bird lending a helping hand to Hansel & Gretel.
Kids can get their winter fix of Dora with Dora’s Ice Skating Spectacular (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), which finds her going up against the Ice Witch to reclaim her friends’ stolen ice skates. And there’s a pair of bonus episodes to boot.
Following up on the super-massive release of the complete classic era of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers comes the equally super-massive Power Rangers: Seasons 8-12 Collection (Shout Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$179.99 SRP), which brings things up to the near-present. The 26-disc set contains Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, and Dino Thunder, plus an exclusive bonus disc packed with featurettes.
There are still people winging about 3D TVs in the home being a novelty, but when that novelty can give me nifty nature documentaries like Ocean Predators 3D, Fascination Coral Reef 3D: Hunters And The Hunted, & Polar Bears 3D: Ice Bear (Universal, Not Rated, 3D Blu-Ray-$26.98 SRP each), all of which are full of fascinating and immersive nature footage, then give me the miracle of modern novelty.
While I consider it to be the least of their efforts, I could still find something to like about Pixar’s Cars and its sequel, but there’s no charm to be found in the rather crass cash-in Planes (Walt Disney, Rated G, 3D Blu-Ray-$49.99 SRP), which takes the Cars design sensibility and translates it into even more toys, the lead of which is voiced by Dane Cook – who makes Larry The Cable Guy look like Richard Burton. Here’s hoping this is a one-time aberration… But I think we all know that’s not the case. Bonus materials include Deleted scenes, a bonus song, and featurettes.
Spawned in the mid-90’s and based on a pulp comic book, Tank Girl (Shout Factory, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$24.97 SRP) is a throwback to the gloriously cheesy low-budget sci-fi “eh-pics” of the 80s… You know, like Freejack. Think Road Warrior with Lori Petty as Mel Gibson. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, interviews, and a featurette.
A fair share of the comedy is familiar to anyone who’s seen his three UK stand-up DVDs – Animals, Politics, & Fame – but 
I’m a sucker for anything with the word “magic” in the product description, and I have to admit that the 
Since they started coming out on Blu-Ray last year, I’ve been patiently awaiting the high definition arrival of my favorite Bond flick, and it’s finally come with the 
Watching 
The second season of 
Although the laughs sometimes get a bit sparse, I always enjoy a comedian like Jim Gaffigan – who exists in a world all his own, and takes the audience down to his own speed. You can see what I mean in the document of his 2008 tour, 
Ever since descending into a bizarre pit of arch-conservatism, it’s been difficult to remember that Dennis Miller was once quite a funny comedian. If you’re having trouble remembering, too, pick up a copy of 
Say what you will about the quality of the films themselves, eye candy like 
As rom coms though, 
I don’t know if it’s all of the Scientology gobbledygook swishing around in his brain, but Will Smith has been off his game for a few movies now. A once-surefire sign of at least a good watch, Smith is now starring in middling, pretentious, often baffling fare like 
It’s pithy and disposable, and now 
Disney has released a pair of new discs for kids, the first of which is 
I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. 
A lot of this film is very meta.
The action moves are wonderfully captured on the screen while the physical odds and ends and detritus that all needed to be in place for these fight sequences to go off, not to mention exact placement of human beings in order to make all of these things happen, is impressive when you consider all the time it takes to get it right.
I am a fan of romantic comedies.
And the stories! This movie spins yarns on top of sticks like plates, trying to keep them all going, and here is a run down of what each has to do with the other: