Category: Trailer Park

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Before I let you animals loose to do what animals do during their Christmas break I’d like to share a recipe for some alcoholic delight this holiday season.

It’s called the Oatmeal Cookie and it is, perhaps, one of the most satisfying aperitifs you could ever toss down your gullet as you navigate your way through treacherous social graces. It’s simple enough to shake up but it’s wonderfully dangerous and delicious:

2 shots butterscotch schnapps

2 shots Bailey’s

1 shot Goldschlager

Stick all three ingredients into a tumbler with ice and shake. Add a spritz of Coke and serve. – Special Thanks to Trafton Nicholls for the recipe

Yummy and lethal. Be sure it’s represented at all your holiday shindigs. You’ll be thanking me as your stomach feels the warm goodness of a drink that’s akin to wrapping your insides with a fuzzy sweater.

Now, as we wrap up the year that was 2007 for trailers it is time to look back and see who managed to actually create something out of nothing and tease us all while doing it. This was a year where I saw more of the same being passed off as exciting fare but if you are any kind of reader of this column you should know that this is really a matter of the studio’s needing to impress us, to entertain us, to dance, monkey.

Trailers have become such an integral part of how a movie gets marketed and released (por ejemplo: How many of you there were all sorts of excited after figuring out that the newest DARK KNIGHT trailer debuted last Sunday night? Yeah, this is how much power they wield) but there still is a vacuum needing to be filled about how well the companies out there are doing their jobs right. I like to let the world know when there’s a trailer people should be watching and appreciating for its intimate goodness but there’s only so much I can do. Not to mention difficult when people ask what I do for this site. Sure, it may sound all hip and cool to drop that you review movie trailers while trying to infuse pithy remarks here and there but it’s hard to do it with a straight face when in the presence of a complete stranger.

It doesn’t exactly bring boys to the yard, if you catch the drift.

However, that hasn’t stopped me from doing this thing week after week and year after year (more on that in the coming weeks) and the Greatest 2007 Trailer Awards countdown is no different than any other needless, disposable countdown list that you’re no doubt seeing all over the place. So, without anymore hesitation here are my picks for the best of ’07. I’m counting down 10-6 this week, stay tuned for the rest in seven days:

10. THE LIVES OF OTHERS: Where else has reading been so engaging? It’s just a tough sell when you have a foreign language film you’re trying to get people to see but we’re so isolationist here in the States that when we see words pop on the screen we’re all but debilitated in ways that Kryponite can’t even hope of doing. You have a mixture here, though, of pure drama and the thin sense of real foreboding. The trailer succeeds where others failed because it doesn’t sell its genuinely engaging story; it takes the next step of playing into what makes us all human and what can happen when our humanity becomes the very thing that is the object of someone’s interest. Creepy and highly effective.

9. RENO 911: MIAMI: Brilliant. I wasn’t bullshitting the boys of RENO when I said on camera during my interview with Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant when I said that RENO 911: MIAMI was one of the only movies I actually watched more than once this year. The reason that I was brought to the trough of this film’s offerings was its highly amusing and creative trailer. It doesn’t try to hook us with a pop soundtrack that would try and mask the funk of shit comedy like others tried to do this year. This trailer gets by on its own strength and its the opening sequence that not only sets the tone but its everything that comes out of Deputy Junior’s mouth and body that hooked me clean. Walking into doors, getting tazered bro’ by some minx and even the cars peeling out of the garage only to ram into one another was just a peek at what was one of the best ads for a good time at the movies this year.

8. LITTLE CHILDREN: You can have FATAL ATTRACTION. You can keep that film and boil it if it means that this movie could take its psychological place as a reason why you should never, ever cheat on your lady. This trailer is sparse but that’s the real treat. The train chugging in the background with a heavy dependence on mood evokes the exact kind of emotion that you’re going to feel throughout this film. It sells itself without ever having to pitch itself if that makes any sense at all. The audio of the train careening by as we build up to what should be obvious to anyone with any sense at all, that there is no way anyone is going to get out of this unscathed like the train that will demolish anything in its path, is not only palatable but it reaffirmed my notion that you should never, ever cheat on your lady. She’ll cut your balls off. I have come back to this trailer many times this year if only to try and understand that quiet greatness of this trailer’s power.

7. TRADE: See this movie? No? Don’t worry, I didn’t either and, from the looks of it, not a lot of other people did. One of the best things about reviewing movie trailers is that I can basically say whatever I want without having to ever see the film to see if I’m right. Usually I have a pretty good barometer for what really stinks and what should have a decent chance of surviving but I can’t place this film in any sort of those boxes. The story seemed to spring from a rather interesting place and its premise doesn’t strike me, and still doesn’t, that would appeal to a lot of people across a wide swath. That’s irrelevant, though, as this trailer showed how you can have a good premise, explain yourself with a little bit of exposition and leave me wanting more with a great back beat. “Agnus Dei” by Rufus Wainright is one of the superlative uses of music that ever was this year. The trailer tugs at you while demanding you keep up with the story.

6. DAY NIGHT DAY NIGHT: For anyone who wants to talk about trailers always giving away too much of a film I’d like to introduce you to this trailer. Without so much of a scrap of background or context we’re given nothing to base any reason why we should go out and spend money to see this movie but it does not matter in the slightest. This trailer is eerie in ways that I can’t explain but I will say that it’s use of a voiceover is actually well-used and understated to the point of us feeling like interlopers into a moment we feel compelled to try and stop. We don’t know why we feel like something is going to happen, and it’s going to be bad, but the trailer takes the chance to not say anything one way or the other. It’s wonderfully daring and evocative. I can’t stand watching this trailer and not feeling a sense of unease. Mission accomplished in every sense of the word.

IN BRUGES (2008)

Director: Martin McDonagh Cast: Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Colin Farrell Release: February 8, 2008 Synopsis: IN BRUGES is the darkly comedic tale of the fates of hit men Ray (Farrell)and Ken (Gleeson). After a difficult job in London, the team is ordered by their boss Harry (Fiennes) to cool their heels in Bruges. Very much out of their comfort zones, the men find themselves drawn into increasingly dangerous entanglements with locals, tourists, and a film shoot. Soon, their perspectives on life and death are violently skewed.

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Prognosis: Positive. I have great affinity for this trailer for a couple of reasons.

One, I think we finally are given Colin Farrell in his natural habitat. You watch this thing and wonder what the hell happened with S.W.A.T., ALEXANDER, DAREDEVIL but then remember why MIAMI VICE and INTERMISSION were good examples of what he’s able to do. The guy has something but it just hasn’t blossomed in ways that some pretty boys turn that acting corner like Brad Pitt showed he could do after FIGHT CLUB and 12 MONKEYS.

Two, anyone who can use the word “retarded” and make it sound funny has got my vote.

I appreciate the way this trailer begins with a flash. There isn’t a quick cut or a thumping beat to make me feel like I’ve stepped into an MTV video for the movie. This trailer begins with a quite benign back and forth with a priest and Colin. It seems innocuous enough until Colin pops him.

Interesting.

The trailer slides easily into putting everything into context. In does it so well that by the time that Colin unleashes his comedic artistry it’s a wonder why there hasn’t been more said about why the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland had to be “adjusted” due to the increasing weight of people (I’ll go on the record and say it’s mostly Americans). Colin glides right through this thing. Equal parts violent, amusing.

The whole idea of the film, that Colin has to wait two weeks in Belgium with his fellow hit man and await instructions of what to do, is so basic that it begs an answer as to why someone thought it was ripe for comedy.

Big-ups, huge praise, needs to be heaped on the narrative voice-over with regard to the letter that Colin reads from the big boss wondering where the two of them are (a case of cabin fever obviously set in and they wanted to take in some sights, insult the locals, that sort of thing) in a bleeped manner that I have never heard before during a narrative. It just made me appreciate the creativity.

What’s more is that when Ralph Fiennes enters the picture he just adds to what amounts to a true madcap adventure. The cat and mouse shootout that ensues is enough to make you wonder whether this is a comedy or an action/comedy or an action/comedy/adventure or something else entirely.

I would usually loathe the expression “And what’s more”¦” but I am going to employ it here to sum up what makes this film look like a real treat if, for nothing more than to hear Colin, in his Irish lip, talk about Bruges: “If I had grown up on a farm”¦and was retarded”¦Bruges might impress me. But I didn’t so it doesn’t”. The lilt in his voice is what really makes the dialogue snappy.

And, one more thing: Jordan Prentice. I know a lot of you didn’t get a chance to see one of my favorite independent movies of 2007, WEIRDSVILLE, he played a mall cop with a thirst for medieval vengeance but he plays the part of a man in this trailer that not only has an amusing quip about where to find a prostitute in Bruges but then becomes a hilarious punch line, literally, when he gets a karate chop to his neck.

I need to see this movie; I just hope to God all the best parts weren’t employed in the making of the trailer.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

How much is that franchise in the window?

I rode the Polar Express last night. While the obvious assumption here is that I dropped a fistful of acid and took a ride akin to experiencing the full color oddity that was Robert Zemeckis’ 2004 nascent, in some mindless circles, classic.

The experience itself could best be described as a mind scrambler for my four and almost-two year old. They had read the book enough times to associate the physical reality of the decked out, velvety train car with that of the book. I can’t imagine the conceit that led these kids to believe that what they were seeing and hearing was real could have been any worse than leading them to believe that Santa Claus is real (I apologize to my children publicly right now when they’re old enough to employ Google-Fu on their own) but there was something about the construction of the experience that I not only found intriguing but fairly shameless.

If I had any gumption or was paid any kind of money to actually put an effort to researching things for my column I would find out what division of Warner Bros. is responsible for the licensing/franchising of the POLAR EXPRESS “experience” but a cursory search of a real train ride near you that harnesses the story’s saccharine mythos yields this badly designed website in New Hampshire for the ride of a lifetime which ultimately led me to the official site for the POLAR EXPRESS train ride experience.

Taken from the website, the company leading the way for little boys and girls (and the parents, like me, who brought along a little Bailey’s) says:

Rail Events, Inc. has signed a license agreement with Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. to license and help coordinate train ride events around the country based on the hit movie and award-winning book The Polar Expressâ„¢ written by Chris Van Allsburg.

Further, “Families are sure to enjoy their trip to the North Pole, complete with cocoa and cookies served on board the train, followed by a reading of The Polar Expressâ„¢ (ed. note – Love the TM usage) by Chris Van Allsburg.

Upon arrival at the North Pole, Santa will greet the children and each child will receive their own jingle bell, just like in the story. There will be caroling on board the train as your trip returns to the depot. This is a holiday ride the entire family will enjoy.” By all means, see if a train is departing soon from a depot near you.

Now, I would never begrudge anyone to make a dollar; I would support any half-baked idea to create a buck. (All hail and praise the assholes who plopped down any money for those Billy Bass animatronic plasticine fishes.) However, what I think irks me slightly is the co-optioning of the book as a means to extend a revenue stream a little further into the pockets of parents and rubes who don’t know better.

Por ejemplo, after you’re sold with a nauseating Josh Grobin, slo-mo trailer, resplendent with all the trickey that makes mothers weep at Hallmark commercials or that one coffee commercial where that douche Peter, with his perfect coif, comes home Christmas morning and brews up some Folgers, there’s a kind of sleaziness to the idea that there’s this ride you can pay money for that’s been endorsed by the suits at Warner Bros. and/or by some marketer.

I paid the price of admission and I have no problems with it. My kids loved it, they were happy, my wife was happy that they were happy and daddy was happy because of the fine people who make after dinner liqueurs; in some way I feel vindicated in sullying the experience by spiking my hot chocolate, and the hot chocolates of some fellow parents, with something taboo I shouldn’t have brought aboard. By the end of the night my kids had believed that Santa, indeed, visited the train car in which we chugged along for our hour and a half ride and were genuinely amazed by the uniqueness of the experience.

I think I’m going back again next year if it means I can spend a day or two extra with my family by ourselves.

At the end of my day I hate to be a part of some ancillary revenue stream of a movie studio that thinks nothing of pimping its properties out under the guise of it bringing families close together. Please. Warners would sooner enjoy my family being driven to divorce if it meant it could make a few more shareholders happy. I’m simply a cynical person when it comes to shameless marketing and plugging and the incessant push to consume the brand even further (Buy the book! Buy the movie! Buy a shirt or hat to commemorate the experience!) and I was honestly shocked as we drove away from the train station and didn’t see one mark on the jingle ball that every kid was given that would somehow let anyone who looked at know that this is was an Officially Branded Polar Express Jingle Ball. I guess that was the cynic in me.

I’m just happy my kids don’t yet know when they’re the unwitting audience of a Warner Brothers sales pitch.

Now, on to much more funny news: Pixar most definitely cribbed its plot for its newest film, WALL-E, from 1986’s SHORT CIRCUIT. After I made the accusation there was a curious letter that I received which I just had to share with the rest of the world that just sort of solidified the fact that I hope Fisher Stevens gets himself a good lawyer; it could be payday city.

“Chris,

So, as has been my Friday routine for many years now, I read your article while sitting at my desk & drinking my coffee…during which time, I probably should be working. More often than not, I’ll completely agree with your prognoses (on a side note, the notion that prognoses is the plural of prognosis, just seem grammatically incorrect… shouldn’t it be prognosises or prognosi?). Anyway, back to my point.

I was a little disappointed of your scathing review of Wall-E.

Although, I completely agree that it holds a not so subtle resemblance to Short Circuit, don’t consider this just another blatant rip-off from an industry who’s seemingly incapable of coming up with an original idea…look at is an homage to one of the late, great, bad, cheesy 80’s movies. Even though it starred Steve Gutenberg, Short Circuit gave every teenaged boy the opportunity so confirm that, yes indeed Ally Sheedy was hot and gave one last chance to see her before she disappeared into obscurity. If Wall-E can flash everybody in their 30’s to a simpler time when, unlike Paris Hilton & Britney Spears, pop culture icons had enough sense to keeps their drug abuse and sexual deviance behind closed doors, isn’t that a good thing?

All that said, I’m holding out hope that Wall-E is a box office blockbuster…’cause that can only encourage studios to rip-off…I mean, homages to more of the really bad 80’s movies, that although they had almost no artistic merit or any other redeeming qualities, were wildly entertaining. It’ll only be a matter of time before we see feature length, animated versions of Remo Williams, Tremors or Weekend at Bernie’s…and wouldn’t that make the world a better place?

Keep up the good work.”

The only portion of that letter I take umbrage with is the very resolute fact that if any red-blooded American tried to steal the story of Fred Ward’s greatest cinematic achievement there would be blood flowing in the street; it would be anarchy.

WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY (2007)

Director: Jake Kasdan
Cast: Jenna Fischer, John C. Reilly, Kristen Wiig, Tim Meadows, Angela Little Mackenzie, Matt Besser, David Krumholtz
Release: December 20, 2007
Synopsis: America loves Cox! But behind the music is the up-and-down-and-up-again story of a musician whose songs would change a nation. On his rock “˜n roll spiral, Cox sleeps with 411 women, marries three times, has 22 kids and 14 stepkids, stars in his own 70s TV show, collects friends ranging from Elvis to the Beatles to a chimp, and gets addicted to — and then kicks — every drug known to man… but despite it all, Cox grows into a national icon and eventually earns the love of a good woman — longtime backup singer Darlene (Jenna Fischer).

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Prognosis: Negative. No.

Here’s the problem I have with this movie: there seems to be confusion on the part of either the filmmakers or the marketers. With only the trailer to go off of I can’t be sure whether this biopic that is a goof on biopics is going to be Zucker-like in nature or played for straight laughs. As it stands there seems like to be a lot of reaching going on in order to be funny or to essentially scream, “See what we’ve distilled from every single story about musicians”¦and how we’ve funnily poked fun of them!” I hate it when people want to club you over the head to make a point and that seems exactly like what’s happening here right from the beginning.

The 6 year old Dewey grabbing a guitar and with a faux voice singing the blues I think is supposed to make fun of the stories of musicians who say they’ve had it in them since they were little but even after we roll on this obvious gag the older Dewey making ladies strip their clothes, the priest who decries it and gets sucker punched for it, the guy puking from being overcome and the wife who plays the part of the Doubting Thomas (a common theme in the stories of people trying to make it big) is just grating for its obviousness.

They’re looking to lampoon these films but with Reilly’s character tongue flicking ice cream, his creation of a character that is oblivious and obnoxious, his protestation to his wife about walking hard (Ooh, his theme!) and his eventual demand to keep his monkey versus his kids just isn’t funny. I think it might play well to young men in their teens and twenties but they’re not useful for others, like me, who might want to have the comedy thrown at us in more subtle ways.

I mean, one of the best parts of this trailer is not Paul Rudd’s pathetic display of a character that just panders, but it’s Jack White’s appearance and talk about being able to chop a man in half with his hands that is amusing as all hell. He manages to be the greatest reason why this trailer just seems to be sticking its tongue in its cheek so much, being so ironic and making sure to wink at us as it does so, that it loses its ability to simply be funny.

The quicker we get to the end I think there is some redemption to be made of this movie. The aging Cox and his run ins with Patrick Duffy, his eventual Disco phase, the sad pitchman moment he has to go through, all these things add up to something for me that gives me a moment of pause. Yes, there could be all the aforementioned obviousness but if it can be smarter than that, if it can be more than just one of those SCARY MOVIE or NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE flicks, if it can be more intelligent with its satire, there could be more hits than there could be misses; a mark of a great screwball comedy.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

I do realize that the there will always be big, bloated movies that will always haunt my local cineplex.

After seeing the haul that BEOWULF, the movie where this is the penultimate example of a book being better than the film based on it, took last week it was hard not to believe that there is nothing that Hollywood can’t turn into a bona fide hit at the box office.

The problem, though, is that its second week drop of over 40%, its cumulative total around 56 million at this point, means that it has a long road to hoe to get it into the black beyond its predicted budget of around 150 million. Yes, you’ve got those IMAX screenings and all those other kitschy 3-D offerings, to say nothing of international box office, DVD, blah, blah, blah but it doesn’t take away from the obvious point that there is a steep climb ahead for this investment to pay off. I can’t say I’m surprised by the drop when you see that this is Zemeckis second dip into the well of “motion capture” (he gets a little testy when you mention the words animation for reasons I can’t understand) and it has the same bizarre look that THE POLAR EXPRESS had when you compare the two; the same vacant look in the characters’ eyes, the less than fluid movement of the people in the frame and the people’s mouth movements border on dubbed kung-fu imports all contribute as to why this is movie that is good but not earth shattering as some would have you believe.

The point here isn’t to point a finger at a movie that did solid box office but when you hear about the comparisons of other movies of its kind, the one I heard a few times being A SCANNER DARKLY, there is something I hope to try and figure out about what the difference is between movies of this variety.

I know that what DARKLY did was use rotoscoping, digitally capturing the movements beforehand and then doing everything else in post, its Wikipedia entry even mentioning the word “animate” (Gasp!), but the one glaring difference I didn’t know before investigating these productions was that DARKLY cost around 6 to 8 million to produce compared to the 150 million that BEOWULF took to get it to the big screen.

Now, these are apple and orange comparisons although I think Variety would like to have a few words about what constitutes animation. However, and I would posit, if you’re talking about the budgets of movies of similar films and want to have a discussion of economies of scale what on earth was Zemeckis doing that would explain the gap in this creative endeavor? THE POLAR EXPRESS was an OK movie, it wasn’t superb, but with a production budget that went upwards of about 170 million wouldn’t it be safe to assume that there have been more than 20 million dollars of savings that could have been made to BEOWULF to try and get this number down but, even excluding that, there is something about the process of marketing this film that couldn’t bring people to the trough. True, it was number one last week and I am sure there are people who still believe that the opening weekend is the end-all-be-all benchmark but in an age of strikes and shareholders who are demanding more value from their corporate overlords there is just the sense I have about the What If’s that come along with thinking about how many variations of how many different stories could have been had for the same amount of money.

SCANNER DARKLY didn’t blow the air up anyone’s skirts, yes, but when you talk to those filmmakers who have the penny pincher mentality of being able to make more with less there is something inherently timely about the argument for films that bloat to this size and have nothing more to show for it than a few choice pull quotes and the promise that the 32% drop POLAR experienced in the second week (its third release saw a surge in positive gains, it was Thanksgiving weekend) will most likely ensure a downward trend from here on out. That is, unless, Zemeckis animates a Santa cap on old Ray Winstone…which I don’t think is likely to happen.

It would be nice if people could learn from past experiences but it looks like the more things change, there are those who want to keep it the same. But it’s not Zemeckis’ fault, either, if any of you think I’m pointing a finger. Again, this is the movie…business. He was slick and smart enough to convince someone to pour money into this movie and if there are any kudos he deserves it is for having a great business acumen, convincing those with a checkbook that this was going to be a lock.

Now, if anyone out there wants to listen to me I have a brilliant idea of converting some works of Proust into an animated (I have no problems with the word) adventure filled with violence, guns and butt secks. Who cares if this strays from the text, it certainly didn’t stop Bob.

From the I Love Boobs file: A special thanks has to go out to MAS for their help in getting some of these interviews up on the site. Lord knows I need it and their donations of time and effort is always appreciated.

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CLOVERFIELD (2008)

Director: Matt Reeves
Cast: Mike Vogel, Michael Stahl-David
Release: January 18, 2008
Synopsis: Secrecy surrounds this monster movie from producer J.J. Abrams (LOST). A mysterious creature attacks New York City, sending the metropolis into chaos.

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Prognosis: Negative. Nope, I just don’t see what the fuss is about, this modern day BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. The hype doesn’t equate to anything I can see in this trailer.

Usually, pre-movie release hype centers around a script or a director or even controversy that revolves around a movie’s production yet here, when all anyone had to go off of was a blurry picture of the poster for the film and the doubt whether the flick was going to be called MONSTROUS or the now titled CLOVERFIELD. I am constantly amazed by how much ink some people are willing to spill on nothing more than some clever marketing.

As it stands, this looks like a mesh between GODZILLA and any number of fauxmentaries, the quite unbelievable drama has the sheen of a YouTube lonelygirl15 stench on it, that pass as entertainment. Simply put, if you’re going to lie to me at least grant me the chance to make it feel like you’re not blatantly trying to suspend my disbelief.

For starters, the card that reads that there was a “found camera” that captured everything we’re about to see is just a modern hack tool that would’ve been novel a decade ago; thanks for trying, though, as this just starts me thinking like everything from this point has been purposely rigged to make it feel real. Thanks for spoiling my interest.

The perfectly framed shot of the Statue of Liberty’s head bouncing down the street, I will admit, is pretty keen but the “Oh my God!”s just make me laugh more than anything else because”¦it is all false even in the movie magic sense.

Hey, a perfectly lit video message for anyone who might stumble upon his camcorder later! What a nice companion piece to go with all this other really good video footage of this attack on New York.

“Whatever it is…it’s winning”

From here, I take it, we’re supposed to be assaulted with disjointed shakey-cam footage to increase the tension of what we’re seeing but because we’re already aware, or should be aware, that this is a mix of what we’re supposed to believe is real it just feels needlessly hysterical and over the top. The pixilation of the American soldier’s face is a goofy ass accent that shouldn’t have been done because what comes out of his mouth only does a disservice to the film’s chance of eliciting genuine “oohs” rather than laughing at what they’re doing.

See, what I hope is being understood is that this movie could be very interesting. The dozen or so troops opening fire in a walking line towards the unseen beast that is attacking New York, should I even mention what happened to GODZILLA when its marketing did all it could to not show you the lizard, is a cool shot. That part is actually interesting but the extended scene of these goofballs screaming their heads off in an obvious soundstage that looks like a quickie mart just takes back any goodwill I’m giving it.

Same thing goes for the helicopter shot; it’s intense as fuck but when you have the lead actor saying this is a record so people know what happened I can’t help but think that when I try to record anything so people can know what happened at a birthday or a holiday event my camcorder usually craps out after an hour. Unless this guy is weighed down with a Chewbacca like battery belt any explanation of how he can get all this done will just feel well”¦false.

BE KIND REWIND (2008)

Director: Michel Gondry
Cast: Mos Def, Jack Black, Danny Glover
Release: January 25th, 2008
Synopsis: Jerry (Jack Black) is a junkyard worker who attempts to sabotage a power plant he suspects of causing his headaches. But he inadvertently causes his brain to become magnetized, leading to the unintentional destruction of all the movies in his friend’s (Mos Def) store. In order to keep the store’s one loyal customer, an elderly lady with a tenuous grasp on reality, the pair re-create a long line of films including The Lion King, Rush Hour, Ghostbusters, When We Were Kings, Back to the Future, Driving Miss Daisy, and Robocop , putting themselves and their townspeople into it. They become the biggest stars in their neighborhood.

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Prognosis: Negative. Sometimes it just pays to be ignorant.

It wasn’t until I was through the mid point of this trailer when I realized it was Michel Gondry who directed this film. I hadn’t ever heard of the film, I didn’t keep up with the production of the film and it wasn’t until later in the trailer when I read Michel’s name did I put it all together.

It didn’t take away from the oddness that is his style and, in fact, I was perplexed by what this movie was supposed to be about up until that point.

I was mesmerized by the premise, mostly. The trailer opens up, innocuously enough, with people coming in to a video store asking about their seemingly erased tapes. I thought it was a unique way to introduce a movie with its insistence on having an extended moment where you have what is a bit of strangeness from the perspective of trying to determine where we are and what time it is. Gondry has a way of pushing that 4th wall ever so slightly and he gets kudos from me for the small, yet effective, visual trick of bending the screen with static.

Where this trailer eventually goes, with the GHOSTBUSTERS soundtrack beneath it, is a wondrous take-off as Jack Black for once throttles it back a smidge and actually engages me as a viewer. The lo-fi reenactment of the actual GHOSTBUSTERS film, in an effort to somehow salvage his VHS video operation, is equally catchy. I would have no idea that Mos Def had it in him to play such a straight man but that’s the brilliance of Gondry, to take conventional actors and mold them into something more than what we’re used to.

The second half of the trailer is equally strange but it’s engaging. The recreation of modern films could seem like a one trick gimmick but there’s something more at play if you’re paying hard enough attention.

There is a sense that this is a film built on how other films can filter their way through reinterpretation. It’s the modern equivalent of a modern cover song; you have what was there before and, if you’re honest and faithful to the source material, there could be something that wasn’t immediately there before you heard it. There’s something new and fresh about the perspective it has and the trailer here expresses some of that between-the-lines love for film. I’m not quite sure the remake of DRIVING MISS DAISY does a lot for my confidence in the success of the film, it gets too “Jack Black-y” for my taste, but hopefully it’s just one moment in a slew of other films they recreate.

Some of what could immediately be taken for a gimmick surely could be there within the final cut. But, what’s clear by the end of this trailer is that if there is a fair amount of thoughtfulness put into the idea then there could be another reason to just enjoy what Gondry does best.

If I have any issue at all with this trailer it is that I’m just not sure if this is a movie I feel I need to see immediately; my final impression is tinged with the idea that you have these schlubs who have a old and busted video store, create mini movies to stay alive, Jack Black does his shtick, Mos Def looks like the weigh holding everything down and they all rise to prominence within the community.

I think the biggest sum of all these parts is: so what? There’s nothing compelling about this trailer and that’s the most disappointing part about this preview.

THE GOLDEN COMPASS (2007)

Director(s): Chris Weitz, Bob Shaye
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Dakota Blue Richards, Sam Elliott, Eva Green, Daniel Craig
Release: December 7th, 2007
Synopsis: Based on author Philip Pullman’s bestselling and award-winning novel, The Golden Compass tells the first story in Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. The Golden Compass is an exciting fantasy adventure, set in an alternative world where people’s souls manifest themselves as animals, talking bears fight wars, and Gyptians and witches co-exist.

View Trailer:
* Large (YouTube)

Prognosis: Positive. This could possibly be the best return to greatness I have ever seen for a trailer.

Based on this shitageous trailer for the film eons ago when it did nothing for me and only served to aggravate my sense that this was going to be nothing more than a lighter version of the CHRONICLES OF NARNIA and that I should just find another indie to indulge myself in because of the bloated nature of this awful looking film, this trailer came out and has changed my attitude 100%.

Just because it’s going to be an epic it doesn’t mean you have to market it as so.

Someone got this through their fat skull and realized that trailers were meant to lie to people and, even if your film is six and a half hours you have two minutes and twenty nine seconds to sex it up a bit. The first trailer, which you can see any number of places, is OK. It’s nothing great; it certainly didn’t excite me enough to even talk about. The reason why it lacks in ways too numerous to list is exactly because there are too many things to list. The trailer challenges you to keep a running tab on all the things that are going on.

Now, I don’t purport to be an expert on the source material. I know a lot of geeks and nerds get their wide panties in a bunch when adaptations stray from the literary text from which they originated. What these dweebs don’t realize is that it is called the movie business for a reason. There are just some elements that have to go by the wayside and some that have to be included. THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy excelled simply because of its faithful adaptation, and the company behind the franchise is smart, wickedly smart, for stamping that message within seconds of this television spot. This does a few things but it does one thing in particular that’s important to keep in mind: establishes credibility.

Once it does this it is the reeling in of all the sleepy elements that made the first trailer so unwieldy. You had so much territory to cover, so much of it went to making it seem like they were saying “Look how careful we’re being with this story too!” when it did nothing for illiterate wags like me who could not have cared less about the source material but needed a brain dead reason to spend the money to see the movie. I wasn’t given it with the theatrical trailer but I’ll be damned if the 33 seconds this spot spans doesn’t make me yearn with abject glee.

The way it works so well, then, is after its explanation that this company did the deed with the RINGS trilogy and will do it again with this one we’re launched into a screamingly fast rock track that gets right to the quick.

It’s my base need to be thrilled and excited that genuinely pays off. You’ve got some babushka bobbing bearded dudes with long swords ready to slice and dice, you’ve got Nicole Kidman doing what she really can only do well, look hot and not saying much, toss in some polar bears that are losing their shit right in the middle of a square (who cares about the reasons why this is even happening), toss in a brunette who is doing some of her own battling in the middle of a dark wasteland, also looking hot and not saying anything, get excited by some animals going to town on one another as they try and kill one another and top it off with Daniel Craig dueling it out with the butt of a rifle.

I am happy I am an illiterate slob with regard to knowing what’s happening here because I have no clue how this all fits together. I am sure the book is a wonderful piece of literature that kids everywhere appreciated with regard to pointing fingers at organized religion.

I also have no reason why I am especially giddy by a polar bear swatting some canine but if this is an allegory of what people are feeling about predatory, pedophile priests then I am so in.

This is, head and shoulders, the exact M.O. that should be employed when trying to sell another epic to a public that has been sold on multiple variants of the RINGS trilogy ever since it was shown that it can be successful; there needs to be a reason to go and spend the money.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

This is one DVD I don’t have to wish for this year and I couldn’t be more pleased. It’s A&E’s original series, KING OF CARS, and they’ve finally released the first season on DVD. The show’s real attraction isn’t in its plot line, there isn’t one, nor is it for any larger than life individual that so many other “reality” programs tries to lull you into believing was the cause for them getting their own show; it’s the averageness of everyone you see in this show that makes it a standout series and it’s why it is still one of my only favorites out there today.

One of the things that struck me as I re-watched this unbeleivably engaging series about a car lot on the outskirts of Las Vegas was how much you could identify with these men and women who are out to sell a few people on some deals. You’ve got the ringleader, Chop, who lords over his business with a flair for the extraordinary in order to motivate the unmotivated and for his constant quest to find ways to amuse every last worker under his employ to sell…just…one…more…car.

You get to know the salespeople by name, by their tactics, their catchphrases. For every single one of us who have ever had to sell anything to stay afloat (some of us still do and you get a lot of people’s stories as to why they’re selling cars) you can identify with these human beings who you see have down on their luck stories and are just trying to survive. While some are just blatantly ill equipped to sell anything more than a box of Chicklets there is genuineness in every person that crosses the lot in order to get an “up” or for every deal that goes south for no good reason.

And that’s the point here with the DVD: there isn’t any covering up for the deals that don’t get made or for why sometimes even a bad situation can be made into a learning situation. There are no scripted, ham fisted attempts to make a logical plot line fit into a round hole and there are moments when you see salespeople who you follow get told that they’re not good enough to have around because they’re causing the business money and I think this is where the series succeeds.

Chop is the old fashioned huckster who believes genuinely in what he sells and he’s not out to take anyone’s money who aren’t willing to part with it willingly. He creates an atmosphere of part pressure cooker, part circus sideshow and another part of passion that he hopes rubs off on those he’s trying to make into seasoned sales professionals. The problem with this is that people who dedicate their lives to the sales profession give themselves to a lifestyle that brims with a little obnoxiousness that others who sit behind a desk and push a pencil will never understand.

Want to know why you’re still allowed to push that pencil? It’s due to a salesperson’s success and any organization that wants to scoff at those who hunt after that feeling you get when your prey takes up a pen and scrawls their name at the bottom of a contract (there is *nothing* like it) deserves everything it gets. And Chop knows this. He treats the job as an un-job. There are no two ways of doing the same deal and this series continues to be a draw for me both casually and professionally.

Also, I just received word that you can buy this from A&E’s video store at a severely discounted price in honor of Black Friday and Cyber Monday; Christmas came a little earlier.

Now, it’s also about that time of the year when my thoughts turn to Del Griffith and Neal Page.

TRAINS, PLANES AND AUTOMOBILES still remains in the top 5 of my personal holiday movies and, really, for good reason; it’s a film that transcends the normal sappy crap and pap that you get with other holiday flicks that normally flirt with the shtick that only after adversity can there be a happily ever after scenario where all is right with the world. TPA took that step beyond any preconception that a holiday movie had to be wacky, goofy and tied up with enough schmaltz to make it abundantly clear you would never come close in real life to comparing with the characters on the screen. TPA made you believe that Thanksgiving was just the means to an end that seemingly had no end and that those of us in the real world who are hucksters, sellers or businesspeople could easily relate to these goofballs who end up with one another. John Hughes finally gave the adults something worth watching, as evidenced by my father who took me to see it when I was still too young to see it myself (Steve Martin’s F-bomb laced tirade to Mrs. Patty Poole was honestly etched into my mind as one of the most shockingly fabulous moments I was ever allowed to witness), and secured his place as a dynamic filmmaker who transitioned out of kid/adolescent specialist and into the purveyor of Holiday Classic goodness.

TPA stands up to age. It stands up simply because of its faithfulness to its characters and its story. There could be any number of directions where the movie could have slid into Movie of the Week territory but it’s a flick that bucks every effort to put it in Hallmark territory. If you forgive the odd ending that seems to put a too fine a point on a story that could have ended on a more serious note, but it’s still an ending that works, then there isn’t any reason why this movie shouldn’t be a beloved tradition right next to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

It’s part of mine.

Enjoy the holiday…

WALL-E (2008)

Director: Andrew Stanton
Cast: Fred Willard, Jeff Garlin (Voices)
Release: June 27, 2008
Synopsis: The year is 2700. WALL*E, a robot, spends every day doing what he was made for. But soon, he will discover what he was meant for.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. You’ve just got to be kidding me here.

One of the first things I was on the record as saying, long before anyone else decided to go along with the theory, was that the concept of Pixar’s CARS was redundant. Seemingly based on visuals and an idea that had come along decades before in a cartoon that had cars that had headlights for eyes and talked out of their mouths where the bumpers are located, the concept was done. It was truly old hat and when Pixar got their mittens on it they did nothing more than add some talent behind the voices and viola.

RATATOUILLE similarly suffered but only insofar as the marketing went. It happened to be a great story that had less to do with an entire movie focused on a rat but was, at its core, had more to do with the humans in it than the trailers would have led myself and the rest of you in on; it was a pleasant surprise, mind you, and the eventual movie was received well because of its well-rounded storyline.

Now you’ve got a trailer that, and please correct me if I’m wrong, looks like someone deep in the bowels at Pixar thought that Fisher Stevens’ turn as the world’s greatest Hindi this side of such cross-national emulations like C. Thomas Howell’s twist on the black face in SOUL MAN or Anthony Hopkins’ bucket-o-bronzer for his debonair twist as a Spaniard in ZORRO. Yes, what you’ve got here is a movie, on the surface, that wants to resurrect the look and feel for SHORT CIRCUIT with a little *BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED for emotional measure.

I mean, really, just LOOK at that robot we’re introduced to in the opening sequence! I usually don’t get emotional about things in a trailer but as the little robot wheels on the screen to change out the light bulb on the Pixar lamp there is really only one reasonable, sound and educated deduction you can make as a rational human being: that’s Johnny Fucking 5! It’s like someone compacted the damn thing and he’s now a quarter of the size.

I can’t concentrate on what else we have to try and consume here in the trailer as I’m just reeling from the whole binoculars for a head looking alike, the tank tread that makes the robot go forward, all of it. If there ever was a case to be made as to why there needs to be a better vetting process when it comes to stories being eerily similar to something else which was already done and pounded in the ground this would be it.

Now, don’t take my shock for this concept as being somehow disappointed in the Pixar brand. I bet you all dollars to doughnuts that when this little trash-compactor-that-could finds out what he was really meant for in life that this could be the greatest story since Leviticus. What I am saying is that when you watch this teaser and you are hit with the “whoa” of the diminutive little robot, resplendent with doe eyes, natch, any person over the age of 30 has to scratch their head and wonder why this all seems familiar.

I didn’t mean to break bad on CARS last year but I still can’t get over how hackneyed the visuals were when you consider that it was done decades ago. Here, as well, we have a visual palate that hearkens back to a terribly done comedy and there doesn’t seem to be anything to take away that would inform me otherwise.

As far as it stands this just feels like another entry into the SHORT CIRCUIT franchise.

LAKE OF FIRE (2007)

Director: Tony Kaye
Cast: Flip Benham, Dr. John Britton, Pat Buchanan, Noam Chomsky, Alan M. Dershowitz
Release: October 3rd, 2007 (Limited)
Synopsis: A graphic documentary on both sides of the abortion debate.

View Trailer:
* Large (Flash)

Prognosis: Positive. The trailer demands your attention even before you have a moment to judge.

One of the things that I really enjoy about finding trailers like this is that you have the expectation that the only way you’re going to have a documentary be accepted into the social consciousness as a project worth commenting on is to have the flash and substance of its fictitious brothers and sisters. A little baiting, a little sizzle, a little Michael Moore-ish type of bravado, is all one thinks they would need in order to turn a human interest piece into a marketing peddler’s dream.

Not so here.

What we get is a rather slow and methodical opening that goes against what you would probably expect from a powder keg. We’re given a static but effective “From the Acclaimed Director”¦” jazz that we would expect any good trailer to begin with but it’s the “18 Years in the Making” that starts me wondering. What could have taken 18 years to do?

Before I can answer I am thrust into the quote given to us by Time Out New York and, frankly, I didn’t think you could toss up that many polysyllabic fricatives without causing the general public to explode from the effort of reading the screen. It’s almost too much to say that there could no way the film could live up to the superlatives hurled upon it.

Now, when we get to the actual film, the first scene being allowed to play out wherein an older gentleman talks about the impact of education that supports the teaching of using condoms with regard to a little girl who stands right before him the entire time, you’re immediately pushed forward to thinking about what is really being discussed.

Some protester shouts out that Jeffrey Dahmer was pro-choice.

You have a wonderfully composed man talking about what is at the core of the debate surrounding abortion.

Some dude sings God Bless America (I’m thinking he’s on the side of pro-life), some rock and roll woman wearing black X’s on her nipples and donning some leather undergoods vamps on a stage, a person hoisting a sign dressed as Skeletor with the words “Abortion” scrawled on his chest as it carrys a sickle and a doll and then there’s a clinical worker who cleaves the meaning between miscarriage and abortion for a woman who looks scared as all get out.

Then there’s the woman who talks about three physicians she’s worked for in abortion clinics, all three of them murdered, as we see one of their prostrated bodies on the ground. And who would have thought that Alan Dershowitz would come correct with one of the more profound messages regarding this whole issue: Everybody is right when it comes to the issue of abortion.

The sheer ambiguity of the angles that usually infuse this argument, be it pro, hyphen, life or choice, is what makes this an interesting trailer that deserves some attention. No doubt that this movie will ignite the passions in all of us regarding this issue but this trailer does an excellent job in presenting its wares without pushing us to buy.

WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY? (2007)

Director(s): Rob VanAlkemade
Cast: Bill Talen, Savitri D, James Solomon Benne
Release: November 16, 2007 (Limited)
Synopsis: From producer Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) and director Rob VanAlkemade, “What Would Jesus Buy?” examines the commercialization of Christmas in America while following Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse (the end of humankind from consumerism, over-consumption and the fires of eternal debt.) The film also delves into issues such as the role sweatshops play in America’s mass consumerism and Big-Box Culture. From the humble beginnings of preaching at his portable pulpit on New York City subways, to having a congregation of thousands – Bill Talen (aka Rev. Billy) has become the leader of not just a church, but a national movement. Rev. Billy’s epic journey takes us to chilling exorcisms at Wal-Mart headquarters, to retail interventions at the Mall of America, and all the way to the Promised Land on Christmas Day. The Stop Shopping mission reminds us that even though we may be “hypnotized and consumerized,” we still have a chance to save ourselves this Christmas.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Here’s the deal: we all know the message that Christmas has been commercialized beyond any veil of propriety. It’s immutably tacit every Sunday when you get the circulars in the paper, it’s on every channel on the televison when programs go to commercial and it permeates the environment with billboards, radio spots and everything else that can tell you that Christmas is only X days away.

We all know this and yet we consume. It seems to be more an issue of us trying to ignore what’s really at the core than it is our apparent consumerism.

Thanks be to the Lord, then, for Morgan Spurlock showing us what this holiday really, financially, represents. I really think it’s appropriate that we start this trailer with a man at a gas pump asking some deity for forgiveness for something. It’s bizarre but entirely appropriate as we launch into what the hell is going on.

It’s the montage we’ve all seen when any film fades into the holidays: visages of Santa, copious amount of lights and flickering tinsel, the ramping up of electronic cash registers and the passing of dollar bills.

“Last year Americans spent $455 billion during the holidays”

I don’t know why Spurlock has chosen the Disney font for the above quote but it’s oddly comforting when you see the actual factoid roll across the screen; it’s at once sickening and enjoyable.

We get smacked with some other sobering data regarding consumer spending, get some dude talking about the Christmas spirit and how he gets into the holidays by making sure he has some sweet ass rims on his hooptie. Things feel strange when we get interview footage of people talking about what this time of year does to the frail or meek when it comes to trying have the latest and greatest under the tree for young kids. (I swear, do those of the Jewish faith have these kinds of gluttony issues in the month of December? Would a first step in stopping this problem be that we all convert to Judaism and, therefore, be limited to only 7 presents each?)

No, that’s no solution but there is Reverend Billy.

I understand that Billy is part sociological extension of all our greed and avarice, and part carnival sideshow, but there is something about his presence that I just can’t explain. He’s at once obvious but oddly engaging as the personification of what we all know to be true: We spend too much on needless shit.

I like Billy’s point during one event, on Main Street inside Disney, that all that Americana is coming to you from China is one that resonates even louder with all the issues we’re having with our human-rights bending, manufacturing monolith at the expense of worker abuse, free speech oppressing neighbors to the east.

While I can’t square my own purchasing habits come this time of the year I do know that we’ve got to throttle spending if we’re ever going to claim to be better than the marketers who know they’ve got us beat.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

With the kind of week I had I still managed to muster a little something new.

This is about the only thing worth talking about in the last seven days:

Go Sox…

WRISTCUTTERS (2007)

Director: Goran Dukic
Cast: Patrick Fugit, Shannyn Sossamon, Shea Whigham, Tom Waits,
Leslie Bibb
Release: November 2nd, 2007
Synopsis: Zia (Patrick Fugit), distraught over breaking up with his girlfriend, decides to end it all. Unfor- tunately, he discovers there is no real ending, only a run-down afterlife that is strikingly similar to his old one, just a bit worse. Discovering that his ex-girlfriend has also “offed” herself , he sets out on a road trip, with his Russian rocker friend, to find her. Their journey takes them through an absurd purgatory where they discover that being dead doesn’t mean you have to stop livin’.

View Trailer:
* Medium (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Really Positive. One of the things I really enjoy about trailers like this is that there’s a voice that someone found and went with it.

I can think if all the ways in which someone could have taken an amalgam of scenes and turned this into an arty, obtuse trailer that I would immediately eschew in all its indulgence but you don’t get that here. This is a trailer that actually sustains itself on an interesting premise and tosses in enough weirdness that genuinely triggers interest and curiosity.

I didn’t know quite what they were thinking with the title of the film, it’s awful, but when we enter this film’s universe we’re greeted with a breathy beat box as a soundtrack and a thin understanding as to why the young up and comer, now older and not so visible, Patrick Fugit is cleaning his place up before collapsing on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood; the dust bunny was an excellent detail.

The premise is played quite well, slightly subdued, and when we see that this is a world inhabited by other people who have died as well and that it looks like earth, only a little different, it’s where all the interesting things start happening to Sir Fugit.

We get introduced to the best friend, every movie needs one, and then are told that the girl who Patrick killed himself over”¦also killed herself shortly after he did. So, what are you going to do? Have a road trip in the underworld!

You get the requisite giddy music to go along with the adventure that’s about to take place, as all the exciting things happen on the road, you get the mysterious (but hot, of course) wild card, played by Shannyn Sossamon, and you’re all set.

What I really dig, though, about this trailer is that even though everything to this point was a little hackneyed with regard to the set up it is after the establishment of all this when it steps above the common. You’ve got an interesting mix of people and premise when Tom Waits of all people get involved.

The movie seems less about the destination, of course, but the journey along the way deals with life as it used to be in order to define where these people are now. To say nothing, as well, about Will Arnett’s presence in this movie; dressed in white, playing the part of what seems like king, seeing Fugit and company stuck in some latter-day jail it’s bizarre and I love it.

I dig the cheap joke at the end and the music that rides this trailer out but I think what’s important to see is that this seems like a flick that wants to take the road trip genre and give it a fresh twist. It’ll be interesting to see whether these people can.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Two things and then we can get on with it:

1. Can I get an amen for Scott Speedman?

2. Is anyone else grooving on the HDNet experience like me?

I think I would be totally in the clear by saying that my DirectTV service has been a lot like dealing with DMV and that their crap ass set top HD digital recorder sucks harder than a ho who’s been aching for some crack rock (True, that whole ho/crack thing is an analogy that should have died somewhere in the 90s after meth hit the scene but that’s neither here nor there). The long and short of it is that DirecTV has been jerking me around for quite some time in getting their proprietary HD unit to work. I’ve had to send back, no joke, no less than four boxes which invariably found a way to melt itself down. After begging and pleading for their headquarters to make nice with the TiVo people, not only am I a small shareholder but DirecTV’s original non-HD TiVo boxes rock so very hard, and me being unsure what could have driven DirecTV to spurn the digital dukes of all that’s splendid in the world I was nearly at the point with their customer no-service of canceling my programming altogether.

That is until I was made whole again and found a little channel called HDNet. I’m still not quite sure who is creating the playlist over there at that channel, whether those of you with Dish can see it as well, but apart from the visually gripping selections they have been rolling out some excellent movies. Not that these are any run-of-the-mill cable flicks. No, these are first run films that get their bow in movie theaters and then get played on HDNet, prior to the movie coming out on DVD shortly thereafter.

From FAY GRIM, DIGGERS, CLOSING ESCROW, CASHBACK and now WEIRDSVILLE the amount of good quality fare has extended beyond the much more publicized and hyped experiment of Steven Soderbergh’s BUBBLE. The model of offering the opportunity to not have to pay one penny extra to experience theater entertainment without me having to do anything more than pushing that big red R button on my remote so I can watch it later.

I have to be honest and say that the experiment works. Not so much in the regard that I need to now go and buy the DVD (I have a DVD recorder hooked up to ye ol’ digital HD unit) but now I feel like now there’s a conduit between me and those making some really quality films where once there wasn’t one. I live fairly far from my local art house, and Lord only knows that for me to get my ass in the car and haul down to ASU, a good 40 minutes, to see a movie like DAY WATCH is a bit of a hassle, and to be able and see quality goods every now and then only emboldens my opinion that, yes, there needs to be a new distribution model in place to accommodate picky buttheads like me who don’t want to physically go somewhere to see a movie.

1st run flicks are taking a beating from the home video market from those who simply shrug off every new weekend of entertainment choices because they already have it in their cranium that they can stave off the hunger for the theater by sitting on their hands 3 or 4 months, weeks in some cases, to see the same movie in the comfort of their home. I honestly don’t think that the dialog in people’s minds is that specific but I believe the reports that DVD sales are doing great business only because individuals have figured out that the ever shrinking window between theatrical and rental is worth waiting out. I also don’t believe people necessarily have grown to hate the experience of going to a film, I like being able to physically go out and make time to see one, but you now in the 21st century have to weigh convenience or comfort. People are increasingly being in favor of convenience a whole lot more, regardless of how many times you really want to be able and see TRANSFORMERS on the big screen. Your set up at home could probably beat the piss out of some weeks old print that has been through the projector a few times over; even if it’s digital, my friend, your HD-DVD or Blu-Ray impresses beyond comprehension if you consider picture quality.

I’d like to think that my extra dollars spent on HD programming is helping to finance and support the efforts of WEIRDSVILLE after seeing it this weekend. The movie is spectacularly well done, Scott Speedman, despite my best efforts to really break bad on the dude, is a delight and the story is crazy enough to make any night at home a more enjoyable one. Would I have felt this way if I caught the movie in the theater? I honestly don’t know but I will say that not paying for something definitely makes me critique an effort a lot more than if I spent a ten spot on it; makes me wonder what would happen to many movie reviews if the reviewer had to pay for the films that he or she commented on without the prospect of being reimbursed for it. Too many variables but I will say this: regardless of how many people actually read this screed I have to recommend that anyone with an ounce of interest in film look and see what is coming down the pike from HDNet. The first run films that are now available to everyone could really help get the word out of these small independent pictures that were wise enough to embrace the new model for exhibiting their wares. The brave new digital world needs to come in contact with other films like this and make them available to people who have evolved with the way they consume their media. I know I feel differently about how I want to be served as a consumer of films but the old way of there being only one option to me just cannot sustain itself when you consider how many other ways are given to people with regard to music, books and the like.

I loved WEIRDSVILLE and I plan on watching it again whenever I get a free moment around the house.

RESERVATION ROAD (2007)

Director: Terry George
Cast: Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Connelly, Mira Sorvino, Elle Fanning
Release: October 19th, 2007
Synopsis: Based on the critically acclaimed novel of the same name by John Burnham Schwartz, this is the compelling new dramatic thriller from two-time Academy Award-nominated writer/director Terry George (“Hotel Rwanda”). A tale of anger, revenge, and great courage, the film follows two fathers as their families and lives converge. On a warm September evening, college professor Ethan Learner (two-time Academy Award nominee Joaquin Phoenix), his wife Grace (Academy Award winner Jennifer Connelly), and their daughter Emma (Elle Fanning) are attending a recital. Their 10-year-old son Josh (Sean Curley) is playing cello ““ beautifully, as usual. His younger sister looks up to him, and his parents are proud of their son. On the way home, they all stop at a gas station on Reservation Road. There, in one terrible instant, he is taken from them forever. On a warm September evening, law associate Dwight Arno (Mark Ruffalo) and his 11-year-old son Lucas (Eddie Alderson) are attending a baseball game. Their favorite team, the Red Sox, is playing ““ and, hopefully, heading for the World Series. Dwight cherishes his time spent with Lucas. Driving his son back to his ex-wife, Lucas’ mother Ruth Wheldon (Academy Award winner Mira Sorvino), Dwight heads towards his fateful encounter at Reservation Road. The accident happens so fast that Lucas is all but unaware, while Ethan ““ the only witness ““ is all too aware, as a panicked Dwight speeds away. The police are called, and an investigation begins. Haunted by the tragedy, both fathers react in unexpected ways, as do Grace and Emma. As a reckoning looms, the two fathers are forced to make the hardest choices of their lives.

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Prognosis: Positive. It’s a matter of perspective.

It’s films like this when you can make the distinction between what tent pole pictures are capable of and what good storytelling can do.

When you launch into a trailer like this, and you’re just ignorant of what you’re about to see, there is the wondering of whether it’ll grab you and whether it will be another in a string of trailers that just come and go out of your mind.

This one had me thinking about what was happening and how all these parts fit together in a cohesive whole. I damn near lost interest in the beginning when you hear the canned giggles and fake smiles of happy people. Inexorably all these things have a way of turning dark and things do rather quickly.

After of a day of frivolity you’ve got a father and son doing a little hit-n-run action. Rather than stopping to check what suburban kid they’ve turned into human ground chuck the dad speeds away (We wouldn’t have a movie if he did. We might have a Lifetime made-for-TV-drama but that’s neither here nor there.) and then feels bad about it after he is back in the safe throngs of his home.

The real drama here starts to pique my interest and I’m trying to peg exactly where I’ve seen other traffic accident movies before but I come up short only to see that the story takes on a sublime quality. There is more to the tale than just the killing of a kid and the father who would stop at nothing (in movie parlance) to bring the killer to justice and I think it’s Ruffalo’s inner guilt that manifests itself that’s the real attraction here; it’s an adage of good writing wherein you try and think about whose perspective could be the one everyone would want to read.

In this movie, though, there is a real thoughtful thing at play here with the struggle of the man who killed a kid and can’t bring himself to confess and the father who is driven to madness to try and find the man who is so close to him.

The gun that eventually gets put into the mix of it all is a nice touch, I will say that, but the obligatory gunshot that goes off against a black screen is a little lame if not completely stupid.

I’m a sucker for films like IN THE BEDROOM and LITTLE CHILDREN and I am hopeful this movie takes a down-to-earth premise and keeps it couched within the boundaries of a real “What If” moment.
BEE MOVIE (2007)

Director: Steve Hickner, Simon Smith Cast: (voices) Jerry Seinfeld, Renée Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Megan Mullally, Kathy Bates, Alan Arkin, Patrick Warburton
Release: November 2nd, 2007
Synopsis: BEE MOVIE is a comedy that will change everything you think you know about bees. Having just graduated from college, a bee by the name of Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) finds himself disillusioned with the prospect of having only one career choice ““ honey. As he ventures outside of the hive for the first time, he breaks one of the cardinal rules of the bee world and talks to a human, a New York City florist named Vanessa (Renée Zellweger). He is shocked to discover that the humans have been stealing and eating the bees’ honey for centuries, and ultimately realizes that his true calling in life is to set the world right by suing the human race for stealing their precious honey.

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Prognosis: Positive. I hope this film serves as a cautionary tale to those people who want to affect the trappings of “indie” but have no desire to actually be indie.

When you come right out of the chute with Gosling and some random old hag striking up a conversation right outside a church, a church for God’s sake, and she asks the question about whether Ryan has a girlfriend to which he says he doesn’t have one the question right back to him about whether he likes gay love seems a whole lot of out of place to me, to say nothing of its un-funnyness.

What happens next, we get the quirky mannerisms of someone who seems to fall somewhere between Corky from LIFE GOES ON and Napoleon Dynamite. There’s definitely the feeling that they’re trying too hard, real hard, to make Ryan this caricature of a man who we’re supposed to either sympathize with or feel sorry for. I feel like we’re being sold pretty hard to believe the character.

The same comment as above applies to the actual introduction to the rubber woman we’re supposed to find outrageously amusing but there isn’t anything, I think, to laugh at here. You’ve got a mildly retarded dude who wants the world to believe this is a real woman. In case you miss the point of the entire movie, here it is again: we’re supposed to believe that this guy believes his love doll has meaning beyond being a sperm receptacle.

Aaaaaand, to wit, the little “moment” where Emily Mortimer has it out with Gosling about his love doll is complete bullshit beyond any realm of acceptable reality when she says that the entire small town in which they all live (Yeah, I’m sure the townsfolk would be real accommodating for a sex toy being carted into the local Denny’s on Grand Slam Sunday and not hang the poor “˜tard right at the entrance) has been, and I quote “bending over backward” to accommodate his whacked out fetish.

I’d sooner believe that one day all the clients of Ford Modeling Agency suddenly wake up and have the collective urge to satisfy every young pre-pubescent in America than I do for this contrived tripe.

Oh, and the love doll clip of her holding a book “reading” to a classroom of kids? Let me go on record as saying that if I ever found out that some sex mannequin was a stand-in for book time I would hang the “˜tard myself with a rope. To make it seem like a funny joke just misses the mark of what a quirky comedy should be.

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t understand what could possibly be redeeming about this farce of a flick. Gosling, I was with him with HALF NELSON and I was happy to give the man his due in that trailer, but there is absolutely nothing redeeming in this one. Nothing.

IRON MAN (2008)

Director: Jon Favreau
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow Release: May 2nd, 2007
Synopsis: Based upon Marvel’s iconic Super Hero, IRON MAN tells the story of Tony Stark, a billionaire industrialist and genius inventor who is kidnapped and forced to build a devastating weapon. Instead, using his intelligence and ingenuity, Tony builds a high-tech suit of armor and escapes captivity. Upon his return to America, Tony must come to terms with his past. When he uncovers a nefarious plot with global implications, he dons his powerful armor and vows to protect the world as Iron Man.

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Prognosis: Positive. This is why Robert Downey Jr. was placed on this earth.

Too many times you can get caught up in the wrong argument about why something is just going to rock hard or why something looks like it’s going to be the second coming of Christ’s hate against mankind but for the discussion regarding IRON MAN nothing but the raw footage here should be the thrust of any back and forth between fanboys.

Musical cues aside, and we’ll get into this in a moment, you’ve got something that is radically different than the previews we were given for SPIDER-MAN 3 plus, and more to the point, the same reservations I had regarding the trailers for the web-crawler’s third installment proved the reason why the whole flick just sank under its own weight.

For starters, and ironically enough, we get “Hell Above Water”, the first musical number that shares the same lineage and pedigree with the trailer for the original SPIDER-MAN, a film that sold a good number of us based on some of the dollars it made during its opening weekend, and just like its web buddy the song helps to push along the narrative. It’s brash, cocky and it seamlessly fits in with Robert’s introduction as the smarmy Tony Stark. I’ve never really read Iron Man with any great frequency but reading what I have and knowing what kind of issues he deals with internally seeing Downey Jr. play with the character without a drip of irony; he’s funny for the simple reason that he’s so shielded from everything external.

And who can take away from the much quoted moment in the trailer where Downey Jr. talks about war in a manner that would make beatniks blush and pacifists punchy at the idea that fighting is an inevitability so why not be ready? Additionally, it’s the exchange with the grunt in the back of the Hummer that should just ally any concern that Robert might not be the right man for the job; hell, he is the job incarnate. It’s, perhaps, one of the best extended moments we’ve been given this year in a trailer and it exemplifies everything that the character can be if he continues down this path.

Now, cue Filter’s “Hey Man, Nice Shot.” After the ambush, and I don’t know if I can take the trailer maker to task for this, I am unclear as to what’s happening. You get some dirty freedom fighter, in all his ceremonial terrorist regalia, telling Downey he has 24 hours to help build his missile but I’m confused: how did he get from ambush to glowing implant on his chest to blacksmithing missile parts? This part of the trailer is dramatic, to be sure, but it’s slightly murky with the details.

Then, if you’re paying attention to the 24-hour time table, he emerges as Series 1 Iron Man? I man it is pretty sweet, fucking awesome, to see the man-robot emerge from the cave and get all practical effect on a bunch of prototypical “bad guys” to the sounds of “Iron Butterfly,” which is a bold choice for those keeping score at home, but it’s incredibly hard to follow.

He goes from blasting in the desert to coming back and getting all seriously pimp with his cadre of best friends who no doubt are going to be playing parts in this story. What parts to the story are they playing? Again, this is all in the air but you do have to give special attention to Series 2 Iron Man that illuminates its blue hue in the shadows as it looks to get buck wild on some other robo threat.

The flying sequence at the end? Three words: In-Cred-Ible. If Fareau is to be believed, and he most definitely is, the way they pulled off the extended moment here is seamless. You can be a bitch ass and point out how you can tell it’s fake but it just feels so real in its nuance that when it breaks the sound barrier there is nothing more you can do than be amazed and slack jawed that this could be the newest SPIDER-MAN blockbuster that will deliver what it’s advertising.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

What a summer.

Between not letting the INDIANA JONES story die a quiet death (it was picked up by the New York Post’s infamous Page 6) and busting out two interviews in one week I am damn near done with everything in my written arsenal.

I think, if you were to have talked to me prior to the Comic-Con, I felt better about this year’s Con than I did in year’s past. One of the reasons why I had a little more confidence wasn’t that I had scored any earth shattering celebrutard, although I was really trying to get Robert Downey Jr. and/or Jon Favreau who both would have been excellent people to get for the 5 or 10 minutes I would’ve been given, but I had enough to get me through the weekend. I had a few things here, a party there, some screenings down the street and a host of other little things that made one big haul. As I put the finishing touches on the video interview last week with Missy Peregrym (I can still do it without even consulting my dictionary) I was struck by the solid response from studios that actually worked with me. It’s been a slow process to actually get to the point that I have now, at the end of every day though I realize what I do here has little with how the earth revolves but that’s another tirade for another day, but it’s been nice progression. Doing this, believe it or not, requires a lot of work from a lot of people but these past weeks of interviews that I’ve been posting have been extremely satisfying from a professional standpoint insofar that I hope at least one of them have been interesting for one of my three fans out there to actually read/watch. The interviews, though, are something people keep asking me to do. People are taking notice and, like Oliver, asking for more. The downside though, as many of you can probably tell, is that they’re incredibly labor intensive. I’ve sought solace in a helper who was eager to do the heavy lifting, and for that I’m grateful, but these things keep coming.

I’m a trailer park, not some Entertainment Tonight wannabe. That’s why, though, I think keep important people coming back. I’m not interested in what a lot of other frou frou reporters like to talk about and it’s really my eternal quest to be different (Oh, how punk of me to say…) that keeps drawing me back into talking to someone. Again, I hope this is something that works for the lot of you out there and are enjoying both sides of what I’m doing with this space. Since none of you write in to tell me otherwise I’m going to keep doing what I damn well please.

However, that part is done with for this week and I am on to planning bigger things. This fall will bring you more unique fireside chats from an amalgam of varying personalities. For example, in preparation for 30 DAYS OF NIGHT I have talked with Editor-In-Chief/Poop Shoot slave driver, Chris Ryall, about his work with this summer’s breakout hit, TRANSFORMERS (I loved it) to IFC’s own Henry Rollins as he talks with me 1:1 about what to make of the Republican administration’s stance on homosexuality when you have all these closeted cases of men who prefer the ol’ Hickory Farms Genoa salami than to the cavernous pleasure of the bearded clam to a rather interesting interview with one of the professionals on DANCING WITH THE STARS on why I can’t look away when it’s on.

There is a lot going on here when I’m not looking at trailers and thank the Lord that these interviews hit in the late summer. We’ve had nothing really of any note come through these parts worth watching but with the hotness that is the IRON MAN trailer (Which I’ll get to later) and the comedic (See example at the bottom of the column) there have been smatterings here and there of greatness. I hope to keep punctuating the weeks of interviews with more trailer goodness but whatever happens know that I am constantly trying to keep your ADD at bay by not doing the same old thing, week after week.

That all said, I did want to make mention of a DVD that should be on everyone’s Netflix queue or in every hand when you go into a Blockbuster: AWAY FROM HER. Directed and written by Sarah Polley, which was based on a short story by the wickedly sharp Alice Munro, for those who have an appreciation for novels should pick up Munro’s Lives of Girls and Women, the movie is unlike anything you’ve seen this year.

In a period of time when most movie going experiences allow you to surrender to the technical wizardry of the high-tech and sensory overloading this is movie that forces you to slow down, to listen and to pay attention to how real drama can be presented without it feeling contrived or false. Because the subject matter is so heady, the film deals with one couple’s quiet heartbreak as one of them succumbs to the effects of Alzheimer’s in a wrenchingly tragic way. When you could consider all the ways that this film could go be it saccharine sweet, slightly affective, completely tear jerking or oddly distant, this is one of the most harmonious blends of everything. Where Polley excels in this film isn’t in her presentation of a story that seems so painful and wrenching but it’s her awareness and ability to communicate the story in a way that brings you closer to feeling like you’re listening in to something you shouldn’t.

Who would have thought that the woman who singlehandedly made a difference in making GO more than it was and DAWN OF THE DEAD wickedly compelling (Try and tell me that her escape from the zombie child and subsequent hoards wasn’t the best way to kick off that flick)? Polley has had one of the more unconventional careers in Hollywood with the way she’s navigated and picked her projects but that’s what makes this movie so great: it’s coming from a place and a woman who immerses herself in everything she does and the material couldn’t be more dense than it already is.

The film, I promise, will linger on long after you’re done watching it. If you’re attuned to the nuances of how people who are in love deal with one another then I think this story about how one of them slowly has the memory of that love slowly dissolve like a frame of film in front of a projector is just the right thing to get in touch with your inner softie.

Like I said, this needs to be in your Netflix queue as of yesterday.

DEDICATION (2007)

Director: Justin Theroux
Cast: Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore, Tom Wilkinson, Martin Freeman, Dianne Wiestn
Release: Now out at a penny saver near you.
Synopsis: Henry Roth is messed up. A New York children’s book author who tells kids that Santa doesn’t exist, he hates sleeping with – and next to – anyone, including his girlfriend and must lay on the floor, usually with heavy objects on top of him just to feel safe. His motto is Life is nothing but the occasional burst of laughter rising above the interminable wail of grief. “Dedication,” a modern love story in which a misanthropic, emotionally complex author of a hit children’s book series (Billy Crudup) is forced to team with a beautiful illustrator (Mandy Moore) after his best friend and creative collaborator (Tom Wilkinson) passes away marks the directorial debut of Justin Theroux. As Henry struggles with letting go of the ghosts of love and life, he discovers that sometimes you have to take a gamble at life to find love.

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Prognosis: Negative. First of all, lose the porkpie hat and stick your barely conceivable contempt for Intertube users right up your pretentiously laser engraved MacBook Pro’s ass.

Really, you’re happy to be introducing your bumwad trailer on Apple and you’re so happy that a few monkeys with opposable thumbs can operate a keyboard to behold your cinematic achievement? Wow, bud, you’re big time.

Of course, Justin may not have wanted to do this. Maybe he was forced to do it by some well-meaning PR flunky but it’s damn gauche and it only serves to rankle me even before seeing the thing.

That said, though, I am utterly taken by the first few moments of this trailer. As Billy rattles off some of the more bizarre ADD quirks and superstitions he carries in his own head, the sequence edited quite nicely in capturing that herky-jerky style of psychosis that is really indicative of writers in modern film; it’s a hackneyed trope, to be sure, but Billy makes me believe it. And, to boot, one of the more shocking things to ever be hammered out by my fingers, I like Mandy Moore’s blankness.

The musical score that cues in is reminiscent of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND but that’s OK. It’s mood lighting on an already nicely prepared moment.

What’s better, and what can be applauded, is this movie’s marketing campaign that decided to throw a little caution into the face of what a trailer should be. The voiceless moments of Billy wandering around by himself, looking all dejected like every good movie portrayal of a writer should be, reinforces the character. The moment where Billy lets some little girl know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist is a nice cherry on a turd sundae which he is most certainly is. The issue here, then, is how you humanize a turd. Ahh, yes, you enlist Mandy Moore to help.

Mandy does add a certain kind of beauty to the mix, regardless of how they’re trying to uglify the girl, and as Crudup and her share some time in a diner wherein Moore tries to throttle Billy’s obvious misanthropic (Again, nice move when trying to capture the essence of writers. All writers hate people. Remember that.)

When Martin Freeman comes into the mix there’s the sense that there could be a triangle worth getting invested in but, really, even as the soothing sounds of the techno track beat on you kind of get the sense that things will work out with everyone finally showing a smile as Billy and Mandy end up together.

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (2007)

Director: Craig Gillespie
Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, Kelli Garner, Patricia Clarkson Release: October 12th, 2007
Synopsis: Written by Six Feet Under scribe Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl is a heartfelt comedy starring Academy-Award nominated Ryan Gosling as Lars Lindstrom a loveable introvert whose emotional baggage has kept him from fully embracing life. After years of what is almost solitude, he invites Bianca, a friend he met on the internet to visit him. He introduces Bianca to his Brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and his wife Karen (Emily Mortimer) and they are stunned. They don’t know what to say to Lars or Bianca – because she is a life-size doll, not a real person and he is treating her as though she is alive. They consult the family doctor Dagmar (Patricia Clarkson) who explains this is a delusion he’s created – for what reason she doesn’t yet know but they should all go along with it. What follows is an emotional journey for Lars and the people around him.

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Prognosis: Negative. I hope this film serves as a cautionary tale to those people who want to affect the trappings of “indie” but have no desire to actually be indie.

When you come right out of the chute with Gosling and some random old hag striking up a conversation right outside a church, a church for God’s sake, and she asks the question about whether Ryan has a girlfriend to which he says he doesn’t have one the question right back to him about whether he likes gay love seems a whole lot of out of place to me, to say nothing of its un-funnyness.

What happens next, we get the quirky mannerisms of someone who seems to fall somewhere between Corky from LIFE GOES ON and Napoleon Dynamite. There’s definitely the feeling that they’re trying too hard, real hard, to make Ryan this caricature of a man who we’re supposed to either sympathize with or feel sorry for. I feel like we’re being sold pretty hard to believe the character.

The same comment as above applies to the actual introduction to the rubber woman we’re supposed to find outrageously amusing but there isn’t anything, I think, to laugh at here. You’ve got a mildly retarded dude who wants the world to believe this is a real woman. In case you miss the point of the entire movie, here it is again: we’re supposed to believe that this guy believes his love doll has meaning beyond being a sperm receptacle.

Aaaaaand, to wit, the little “moment” where Emily Mortimer has it out with Gosling about his love doll is complete bullshit beyond any realm of acceptable reality when she says that the entire small town in which they all live (Yeah, I’m sure the townsfolk would be real accommodating for a sex toy being carted into the local Denny’s on Grand Slam Sunday and not hang the poor “˜tard right at the entrance) has been, and I quote “bending over backward” to accommodate his whacked out fetish.

I’d sooner believe that one day all the clients of Ford Modeling Agency suddenly wake up and have the collective urge to satisfy every young pre-pubescent in America than I do for this contrived tripe.

Oh, and the love doll clip of her holding a book “reading” to a classroom of kids? Let me go on record as saying that if I ever found out that some sex mannequin was a stand-in for book time I would hang the “˜tard myself with a rope. To make it seem like a funny joke just misses the mark of what a quirky comedy should be.

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t understand what could possibly be redeeming about this farce of a flick. Gosling, I was with him with HALF NELSON and I was happy to give the man his due in that trailer, but there is absolutely nothing redeeming in this one. Nothing.

FINISHING THE GAME (2007)
Director: Justin Lin
Cast: Roger Fan, Sun Kang, Bonnie Hunt, Dustin Nguyen, Mousa Kraish
Release: October 5th, 2007
Synopsis: The unexpected death of Bruce Lee, a worldwide phenomenon and established movie star, came at the zenith of his popularity. Having already shot scenes for his upcoming movie GAME OF DEATH, studio heads decided to complete the film by launching a search for his replacement attracting hopefuls from all around the world. FINISHING THE GAME is an uproarious, poignant, unpredictable and action-packed re-imagining of that casting process for Lee’s replacement and examines the leaps and bounds Asians have taken in media representation – or have they?

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Prognosis: Positive. Absolutely funny. It’s genuinely a good reason to watch a trailer.

One of the things about growing up when I did was that when THE CROW came out in 1994 it was damn near my CITIZEN KANE. Although, and obviously, I grew out of that phase of thinking it was better than it really is there was something really intriguing about knowing more about the son of Bruce. The kid’s life and eventual demise on a movie set took on a mythic quality and it was something that eventually led me to discovering ENTER THE DRAGON and then other Asian films that led me to appreciate other movies from around the world. It was a curious thing, though, to watch a biography on Bruce Lee that included moments from a movie that I wish would have been made under Bruce’s watch: GAME OF DEATH.

Here, then, was a movie that I initially thought was something serious; something that was going to hopefully honor Bruce’s first intention and dismiss the cinematic garbage that was GAME OF DEATH as it eventually was filmed. Lo and behold, though, there was something else afoot.

This movie has nothing to do with the reality of GAME OF DEATH but that’s quite all right when you see the opening moments of this trailer. It does an excellent job, much better than when a comedy tries too hard to let you know that it’s a comedy with its gimpy goofiness, as it presents itself. You think that you really are watching how some filmmakers wanted to finish GAME OF DEATH but it’s not until after the Sundance mention of its acceptance as an official selection that you realize you’ve been duped. From a room full of Bruce Lee wannabes, one chain smoking as he furiously whips around some nunchucas and as another is taking a pencil and re-creating the android knife trick from ALIENS, to a sleazy producer who says that GAME OF DEATH of Bruce’s GONE WITH THE WIND it starts things on the right foot.

Fast forward to being introduced to Breeze Loo, a good looking martial artist who has more than enough ego to make this character worth watching simply for the amusement factor, to Cole, another actor who just is simply an ignorant sap who wants in a movie no matter the cost, to Poon, a character actor who doesn’t realize his limitations or stereotype as an Asian in television in the 70’s, you’ve got a mix of interesting people to stick a finger at and have a good laugh mocking.

As you watch our hopefuls vie for the role of Bruce, their auditions going about as well as anything you see on American Idol in any given season, there is the requisite sense that this isn’t going to go well on purpose. There is the feeling, though, that the filmmakers have captured a certain time period with their production and how everything looks and feels. I’m giving points here for keeping everything, even the music, specific to the moment. It’s immersive.

I am absolutely going on record, though, as saying that nothing has made me laugh harder than when the Caucasian wild-card who is trying for Bruce’s role (a goof in itself, obviously) gets into it with another hopeful as they spar with one another during training. The punch to the nuts that white boy lands and the relentless twist and grab of his opponent’s man’s sack is excellent. Truly one that elevates any staged nut shot this season.

And, to expend the joke a little further, the absolutely unnecessarily long web site: http://www.youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/ is just one more part to this twisted, comedic puzzle. I couldn’t recommend this trailer enough for a good quick laugh.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

It was an interview like this that reinforced the sense that there is something to learn about the human condition as it pertains to being able to talk to someone whose face was plastered on thousands of hotel keys, billboards and is on television on an hourly basis as his network hangs their dollars making sure everyone gets familiar with a man named Chuck.

Zachary Levi, as some of you may remember, was interviewed by me years ago when he co-starred alongside Martin Lawrence in BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2. The film itself was inconsequential compared to what Zach had to say about his work on the film and how he was going forward with his career.

Things couldn’t have gone better for the man who was looking to continue his career in front of camera as he landed the title role in one of the biggest fall productions for this year and had the pilot directed by kinetic action director extraordinaire, McG. I wish I could have had the opportunity to talk to Zach during the San Diego Comic-Con this past summer about what, at that point, had been a slowly building monster. Unfortunately, and I realize without the video to prove it I can’t be taken at my word, it was exactly at the Comic-Con when I saw the frenzy that was mounting; Zach, his co-star Joshua Gomez and resident hot blonde of the series, Yvonne Strzechowski, were flanked on all sides by a phalanx of television and press as soon as they entered the press room mere moments before they were slated to appear in another room to promote the show to the public. It was honestly a madhouse of unnatural proportions but all three stars of CHUCK were alive with pleasure as they fielded question after question with bombastic aplomb. It certainly wasn’t the typical pensive, quiet press interaction you saw most of the other productions that were to be had that weekend; there was real excitement and whether you you were there or not there was no denying that Zach seemed pleased to talk about the show.

Since we spoke a second time he has starred in a couple of lower-budget productions compared to his stint on ABC’s LESS THAN PERFECT and then has exploded in an excellent independent feature, SPIRAL. Zach can now be seen on CHUCK every Monday night, 8/7c on NBC.

Christopher Stipp: This is Chris.

ZACHARY LEVI: What’s up, Christopher? Zachery Levi calling.

CS: It’s about time. I’m telling you I had to wait more times to talk to you since your appearance at the Comic-Con…I saw the show before going there and I honestly really dug it; I think it’s really funny. The thing was I did not expect the kind of fanfare that was there at Comic-Con.

LEVI: Dude, it was insane.

CS: Literally, it was just a whirlwind. You came into the press room, you sat for I don’t know how long for your other press stuff and then bam, bam, bam, you were on your way. How was that? You and Josh just seemed to be in a blizzard ““ a flury.

LEVI: I know. It was so crazy. I almost cried, man.

First, we got there and I’m looking at rebel troops, like crossing the crosswalk and it was obvious we were certainly in the right place and then we go in and do a little press stuff and I saw you and then it was “We gotta go, We gotta go…”

In the screening room ““ I had no idea how many were going to be there – I’m sitting in the back for the last 15 minutes of the screening and the audience had been enjoying it throughout the whole thing. So we just get the last 15 minutes of them just cheering, applauding, laughing. And I was like…I just can’t believe it.

It took a month to shoot the pilot and this was the first time it was being shown and it was not just a general audience…it was to our core audience ““ the comic book video game generation. People like me, really. Then the show comes to an end and they announce that we were going to take the stage and we get this standing ovation, 2,000 people give a standing ovation. I just couldn’t believe it. It just goes down in your own personal record book as being one of coolest things you’ve ever experienced. I hope the show lasts and that we keep providing the level of entertainment and that at next year’s Comic Con we can fill the big hall and just keep pumping out the stuff that they want to watch and that we want to watch and hopefully that you want to watch. It was just crazy, man.

CS: I saw people wearing those CHUCK shirts all weekend after that. I was flying home to Phoenix and I saw a couple people walking around, and I don’t know what the shirt said exactly…

LEVI: Oh, ChucksSecret.com or something like that?

CS: Yes, those were the ones. Then your face was on a bunch of hotel keys…

LEVI: Dude, how insane was that??? I had friends texting me “Holy shit!!!!! Your face is on my room key to my hotel room!”

CS: I have to know. What kind of Fourth Wall did that break for you, if at all? I would imagine, with all the things that had your face on it…it had to feel slightly Bizarro World at that moment.

LEVI: Oh that”¦straight up crazy Bizarro World. Another buddy of mine, an actor buddy who’s on Reno 911, I get a text from him. He took a picture with his phone and sends it to me…What am I doing on this thing, he says. And then, talk about the perfect ice breaker, all the parties going on.

If I could only just stayed in San Diego. We had to go to Comic-Con and then come home and go work. We couldn’t even stay that night. We had to shoot that night. If I could have stayed in San Diego all I had to do was just walk up to people and say “Hey, yeah, it’s me, the card key, it’s me”¦” it was ridiculous.

CS: Obviously the promotions on NBC have been just as crazy.

LEVI: The promotions have been so incredible and I am so grateful for them. Because I know what it’s like not to have any promotion. Working on a show that’s just thrown in there and I know the networks and studios have just so much money that they can spend on promotions for their entire season and I feel very fortunate and very blessed to be on the receiving end of all of that. They are pumping us like crazy.

I just saw a cardboard standee that’s going in all the AMC theaters and it’s going to be Chuck on popcorn bags. Dude, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what it going to be like to go in to an AMC theater and see my face on a popcorn bag.

CS: You’ve got to be honest with me ““ are you bringing that stuff home…possibly putting it up in the bedroom…telling the ladies, “Oh that? Yeah, that’s me.”

LEVI: Yeah, right!

You know what’s funny? I always, in the back of my mind, said maybe I should hold on to one of these things for posterity but I never ended up doing it. Family and friends always want one but I just kind of feel like, I don’t know, it would just get lost somewhere. What’s the point? Life is too short. I remember. I remember I was a cardboard standee. If somebody else wants to collect it”¦.rock and roll, go for it but I don’t know.

CS: How’s the production going?

LEVI: The production has been great. I mean you know they are long, long days. It a really ambitious show. What we accomplished in a month, we are trying to accomplish in 8 days

CS: Really…

LEVI: Really tough. Really tough. But I think it’s doable but it’s just a matter of everybody following the rhythm. We have new people on the crew and now we got writers that are trying to write episodes that we can shoot that day. We started back with the first episodes that had 80 scenes ““ that’s a lot of set ups and then they started to trend down and made it about 50-60. We’re trying to get it to a place where we can do it in 8 days. But what we’re hoping is that we don’t have to trim it down too much and that we can, show Warner Bros. and NBC when we start airing that we are a contender and then hopefully they’ll have more faith and put more money in the production side of it and give us a full functioning second unit because that’s what we really need.

It’s not a matter of more days on the first unit schedule and it’s not a matter of making it smaller in scope because if you do that you are not giving the show justice that should be done. The show is an action comedy ““ you need to have the action. You need to have the car explosions and the gun fights and the cool stunts and that stuff and you need to have the time with the characters to have the relationships and the comedy becomes the spy stuff as well and it’s an ambitious show. HEROES is an ambitious show as well and they have a fully functioning second unit that is shooting the whole time the first unit is shooting. So they are able to pull it off. That’s they way it should be.

CS: Right. As the show is progressing, like you said, a month’s shoot for this one show ““ great premise great beginning, middle and end, now you have your second episode and you physically could not top it but what do you think in the back of your head that in the writer’s room that you hope keeps going as the episodes progress? Is there anything that you say that this is an aspect of the character that you want to retain and not put off to the side because there is only so much that can fit in there?

LEVI: No, no, like week after week I was just looking at the pilot and seeing what McG did and it was just, the effects, everything, like you said it took a month to do but you can’t do that in 8 days, so what’s the one core thing that the writers and obviously the directors as they move along that they want to retain that’s not lost in any of that?

Well, I think in a perfect world, you want to retain it all.

I think television is coming into a place where people are expecting more but studios are still expecting it to be shot in an 8 day typical hour long fashion, and it’s not…It’s not realistic.

To me it’s not and I understand that studios need to be frugal. They have a lot of shows and they don’t know what’s going to pop and what’s going to not and I also feel good about that they will allocate funds appropriately. Like, last year NBC had STUDIO 60 and HEROES and they put most of their money in STUDIO 60 and mid-way through the season they said STUDIO 60 is not performing and HEROES is so let’s invert these scales if you will. So what I’m hoping is that we start airing some episodes, they’ll see the promise in our show, and will want to give us more to stay on track with the initial vision of the show. In the meantime, sacrifice as little as possible. And by little I mean by still keeping some great stunts in every episode, great relationships, great methodology and maybe we are losing a few setups, maybe more of a technical thing than anything and this stuff of “fake it til you make it” kind of thing until you air it.

Because right now we are on episode three but we are still missing shots from episode one. So in order to get it done the way we want to get it done and get everything done that we want to get done, we just kind of put off scenes until later. We just finished episode one and we still need a couple scenes from episode two and started episode four today and we saw episode three but I’m fine”¦I’m fine going back”¦and as long as we can keep the integrity and vision of the show we started out to make and not be watered down lower budget, less time version of that. I’d rather work longer hours and make a great show than work less hours and produce a show that’s like it’s another television show. You know?

CS: How are you handling the new hours?

LEVI: Oh man. Well, I’ll tell you this: everyone is working 12 hour days. To give you an idea”¦.like last Friday we were shooting night exteriors and finished shooting at 6:00 in the morning ““ we’re working over schedules, working the night shift. And then last night we’re out there at 6 in the morning and call time today is 6 pm and so we’ll probably wrap again around 6 in the morning. It’s a far cry where you might work 30 hours in a week and all of that was real hard work…(Laughs) You just got to show up and hang out and have fun all day long and make jokes with your friends and have custom omelets made and a live audience. It was so cush.

But it’s much more fulfilling to be in a drama, especially on the lead. I get to run around with guns. I don’t get to shoot the guns which I am a little bitter about but we can get to that later”¦. But there’s gun fights, and car chases and helicopters. It’s just everything I ever dreamed about when I was a kid. Just playing around and playing war and throwing dirt wads at your buddies like they are hand grenades. That just what you hope you get to do. And now I get to live that dream and the show gets to be funny. I’m young, I’m single, I don’t have any pets. This is the time to be doing it.

CS: Absolutely. I know the answer will be “Great!” but, really, talk to me about how you and Joshua Gomez have come together and made the chemistry work between the two of you because I will honestly say, and I wouldn’t b.s. you if I didn’t believe it, that these two guys have a good relationship with one another; best friends, in a way. You believe it”¦.you know?

LEVI: Thank you. It’s really a big blessing. I mean Josh is so incredible because I feel I’ve known the guy forever.

We sat down and for all those times that my mom or anyone told me do not play video games, guess the work paid off. Because Josh and I get to play gamers on the show and we are both huge gamers in real life so immediately we have this kind of jumping off point. We just clicked immediately. Talking about all our favorite games from like Atari all the way to the present”¦.which one Super Mario Brothers franchise was superior and why weren’t they OK. My favorite first person shooters games. Neither one of us is into sports games all that much. We like shoot “˜em ups and stuff like that. We just got BioShock and Josh just did some voice work on that, he’s done a lot of voice work on games. I got my Xbox in my dressing room ““ he’s got his Xbox in his dressing room. We just don’t have a lot of time to play anymore because we’re working so much but we’re still gamers to the core and the first day we pretty much sat down and we knew that we had good acting chemistry. I got cast and they had me come in and read with the guys auditioning for his role and he was just ““ all the guys were great ““ but he was just the funniest and we definitely had the best rapport. And then they had us sit down and have lunch one day just to try and get to know one another and I think he turned to me at one point and said, “So are you a gamer?” Because we played them in the show and I turned on him so quick, like “Am I a gamer? Yes, I am, thank you.” And he just said “So am I” and we just talked about our favorite video games.

And he is, honestly, just one of the sweetest, funniest, nicest guys you will ever meet in your life. He is the salt of the earth and we just have fun everyday. Everyday we get to work with each other we just have fun. It can be complete utter nonsense. Like little inside jokes with friends you’ve know for 10 years, we’ve known each other for 10 weeks. Which is good. And we both see what a huge blessing that this is. We just get to play video games for a living in our characters and get wrapped up in espionage ““ it’s just so much fun. And, so thank you. I’m glad that it works on the screen and I thank God that he was able to bring Josh and I together because I felt it in my personal life and went right to screen. It’s just good to know.

CS: Absolutely. What the two of you have together is obviously the comedy, is it different now ““ there is no audience, there is no closed set, you guys are free wheeling in front of the camera having to be funny, is there retake, are you used to doing it again and again making it just as funny on the 1st take the 2nd take the 3rd take?

LEVI: You know what’s interesting is it’s tougher to gauge what’s funny.

Laughter is a good gauge to tell if a joke landed or not and everyone has to be quiet in front of the monitors and cameras and what not, but I think Josh and I have a pretty good idea of what’s funny. We talk to one another and say, that was really funny or whatever. There’s a little more leniency and they definitely support us in our adlibbing and our characters probably get to do the most together so we’ll constantly change it up. We, of course, get what’s scripted but after that we just have a field day and we’ll throw something in there and say, “Have you tried this or that?”

I try to not tell them, I just like to surprise everybody by the monitors. I’d rather not tell them I’m going to do this. I’d rather say “Hey Josh, let’s do this” and of course after the take and you hear people laughing then you know you did something good.

CS: Then, I’ve got to know ““ the Vicki Vale BATMAN reference ““ it makes me laugh every time I see that part, was that scripted?

LEVI: Well, the actual Vicki Vale song part?

CS: Right.

LEVI: Well, that part was scripted but the phone drop was not.

The way it was scripted was that – stop the presses was that the Vicki Vale thing and I look up and I see her and I quickly put the phone down but I thought, I don’t know, I love physical comedy and I love slapstick not too slapsticky but some jokes and some physicality.

So the first take, I just thought, “Well, I’ll just let the phone drop and then play it off.” She liked it but then we went back and forth ““ should we put it in and we go back to the take where I didn’t drop it and back and forth and then they decided to put it in and now they used it in the Fall trailers. It was a fun moment.

There’s a lot of stuff in the pilot that we made up ““ that was not originally in it. When Yvonne says “You geeks are good” that was supposed to end of that scene but then I was like, “Josh, let’s do this thing where we both look at each other.”

You know we’re both nerds playing like we are not the Geek Squad but we’re trying to be but Best Buy wouldn’t do it ““ we tried to get that cleared but Best Buy wouldn’t do it which I find kind of ridiculous because it’s such a great show…but at the end of the day we had to create our own world and we don’t have some corporate guys breathing down our necks making sure we’re not doing anything outside of what they want. So it’s just little moments thoughout making it, layering it and making it more of our own. I’m free to discover my character and play and make those moments and I’m glad they end up working.

So in answer to your question, Vicki Vale was partly scripted and part improv. One of my favorite moments as well.

CS: And you are also now with Adam Baldwin who some would say he peaked with SERENITY but I would say MY BODYGUARD.

LEVI: It’s funny, it’s kind of a generational thing ““ I’ve never seen My Body Guard.

CS: Are you serious?

LEVI: I’m 26.

CS: That’d be about right.

LEVI: When did it come out?

CS: Let’s see, I’m 32 and I barely remember seeing it on HBO.

LEVI: I saw a lot of movies when I was a little tiny kid. My parents had HBO but for some reason I never saw MY BODYGUARD and I’ve been meaning to rent it since working with Adam but I haven’t yet. Adam Baldwin is one of the greatest guys I’ve ever worked with, he is so talented. He’s had one of those careers you can only hope for as an actor. He’s never gotten to the A list, break out huge, but he’s worked a lot. Been able to support his wife and three kids. His daughter is going off to college. It’s crazy. He’s 35″¦.40 whatever. He is the most solid dude in the world. Papa Bear. Because every one else in the show is generation X, or whatever. And Baldwin, he’s the rock. He’s they guy who’s been around the block a couple of times and he’s so grounded, he’s even tempered, he loves being at work. All the things you look for in a co-worker. And he’s really supportive.

He’s been working before I was born and he supports me. He is constantly with you, using words like you’re the leader, lets do this action and it means so much to me. Adam Baldwin deferring to me that way, it is so akward. This guy has been working so long. I’ve been working a little bit but not nearly as long as him. But it means a lot. It really inspires a lot of confidence in me and I just hope I can get to work everyday and really appreciate it. This crew works so hard and long hours and into the night. I just hope they all know that it’s all for the best. I really believe that if we continue to work hard and continue to put these hard hours in now that once this show airs and we can find our audience and it will all be worth it. And we’ll get the extra money for the stuff that we need in the budget whether it be extra days, second unit, better equipment and we can give pay raises for the second season, third season, what have you. But I look at the show as a big family because I spend more time with them than with my friends and I want people to feel taken care of and when you put in hard work you should be taken care of.

CS: Well I don’t want to take up any more of your time…I know you have to run but I have just one last question to ask ““ do you feel there is weight on your shoulders? Obviously, all the promos have been about you, all the things have been just about you, you, you. Do you feel any of that pressure that you are the center of attention?

LEVI: I never once felt like it was a weight or a burden. I always felt like what an amazing opportunity. What a great gift. I’ve been around people that have that opportunity and squander it. You know, people that treat crew badly or less than what they deserve and I feel like when you are given that place you are given this great gift to be able to really just love and appreciate and support your cast and your crew and it’s incredible how far it goes when your crew and your cast feels like you the lead or the star or whatever that you care about them or that you take the time to just say “Good Morning” even, it’s sad how many people don’t do that and how detrimental it is to a show and
I have been able to kind of check that out from the sidelines and see how people have done well with it or not done well with it but always look forward to the opportunity to be given the opportunity to do well with it because I see the beauty and the benefit of it.

And the promos and stuff, to be able to go and tell how much I love my cast and crew, I look at that as such a great opportunity and I don’t know”¦with all the talk shows and stuff starts happening I guess that can get a little hairy at times”¦they are always looking for funny antidotes. I don’t think of myself as an antidotal type person. I have this really weird habit of forgetting all the funny stores that happened in my life. So I don’t know how that will all turn out”¦I hope well.

But I don’t look at it like a weight or a burden. I look at it as the greatest gift I’ve ever been given in this business. I will always appreciate it. Even if I’m having a bad day. Put it in perspective. I mean, I’m I get to be CHUCK in a show called CHUCK and shoot at Warner Bros. ““ historic Warner Bros. And our sound stage ““ a CASABLANCA stage. I’m saying that Humprey “F’ing” Bogart walked around on this stage…To be able to work with such incredible actors and an incredible cast, writers, and directors…You dream of being the title character, you dream to be in a show where you get to be funny and action and drama and romance. So being a weight, no. Do I certainly put it in perspective and see the possibility and great responsibility that is? Absolutely.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here”¦

Instead of manning-up and actually going the emotionally hard route of being outrightly rejected by publishers, I’m rejecting them first and allowing you to give my entire book a preview, let you read the whole thing or, if you like, download the whole damn thing at no cost. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

Before I launch into the mess of Comic-Con coverage that I have brought back with me, and as other people unleash their loads from the event in a spray without regard to any kind of context, I wanted to squeeze a few trailer reviews into this space.

This week marks the first time I was able to catch the NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN trailer and I cannot believe it took me this long to feel this movie’s flavor. While the title is a little thick to swallow I was absolutely taken by how much the movie looks like it’s the Coens back to their old tried and true ways. It’s one thing to bring the noise against these guys for films like LADYKILLERS, saying that they lost something along their way, but just looking at the trailer and nothing else you’ve got to admit there could be some kind of good-will offered as Javier Bardem slithers across the screen.

One movie I did see and have to absolutely make sure I make my opinion known about is SUPERBAD. Starting next week this movie is one that just has to be seen to be believed. While I won’t really get into a compare and contrast, SAT style, argument as to why I believe that KNOCKED UP really is not quite deserving of the title of greatest-est comedy of the summer I can give that honor to SUPERBAD. Infused with the kind of adolescent frivolity and sailor blue language I can definitely relate to the movie is an absolute raucous affair. From McLovin to the HOUSE PARTY style cops (read here: inept, a smidge racist and completely crazy) that made that hip-hop production one of my Top 10 of all time the movie just does not disappoint even as the movie strays into some unbelievable territory in the 3rd act. You cannot go wrong for a mid-August release when the landscape is littered with stink bombs that studios dump like it was a temporal landfill in need of crap films.

CHALK (2006)

Director: Mike Akel
Cast: Troy Schremmer, Jannelle Schremmer, Shannon Haragan
Release: Coming to a film festival near you Synopsis: In the comedic style of The Office and the films of Christopher Guest, Chalk is a spirited portrait of life in the trenches of that most honorable and frustrating profession…teaching. It’s the start of a memorable new year at Harrison High. The self-conscious Mr. Stroope is convinced that his time has come–this year he will be furnished with the golden title of “Teacher of the Year”, if only his smarter students would stop using words that he can’t understand. Peek into Mr. Lowrey’s History class and you’ll see that he’s struggling to even call himself a teacher. Woefully inept due to a complete lack of experience and social skills, he earnestly stutters his way through class. The only interaction his students offer him is when they steal his chalk. Men aren’t much interested in the spunky and officious Coach Webb, but “not all P.E. teachers are gay” and she pines for some romantic company. Her once best friend, the newly appointed assistant principal, Mrs. Reddell, doesn’t seem to have time for her either, as her new power post is all-consuming; battling egos, enduring teacher conferences and her lighthouse-obsessed boss. Coach Webb wonders if her former confidante has forgotten just how hard teaching really is. Director Mike Akel provides a rare and realistic teacher’s perspective into the absurd, provocative, and occasionally volatile world of public education. In a country where 50% of teachers quit within the first three years, CHALK delivers an enormous dose of heart, hilarity, and hope for America’s most important institution.

View Trailer:
* Large (YouTube)

Prognosis: Positive. When I graduated with my Master’s in Adult Education and Distance Learning I had dreams of being able to shape young minds at a collegiate level. I loved the idea of presenting ways in which to correlate literature with the human experience, no matter what decade or century the work was created. Timelessness, that was going to be my approach.

Then I saw the pay scale.

Thanks to my secondary abilities I have since held my educational dreams at bay if for the only reason than I could never hope to maximize the amount of money I could make and this trailer just puts that out there.

From the start we’re blasted with the starting pay for a teacher: roughly 30g’s. It’s pathetic but it’s the teacher who’s couched behind a piano we’ve all been exposed to, that orange-ish ghetto model that was never in tune, and is belting out her own ditty to the beat of “The Safety Dance.” It’s bizarre and funny at the same time.

Quickly, we’re inside a classroom where we get the daily chaos we expect these modern day saints to endure. Just as fast we’re sitting down with an assistant principal who explains the guilty verdict against the person who used to hold her position and, for an independent film, it’s obviously clear we’re going the faux verite route. Yes, it’s been done a few times before but no one’s explored the world of the public school system and it’s intriguing.

“Number of public school teachers: 3.066,270″¦Number of public school students: 48,369,740″

What’s of note here isn’t so much about the explosiveness of the trailer but the way in which it’s put together. We get to know some of the people who inhabit this world, the attitudinal maladjusted teacher, the gym teacher who everyone thinks is gay and the teacher who likes to shoot guns in order to relieve “stress.”

“50% of all teachers quit within the first 3 years.”

What becomes apparent is the various ways in which these teachers deal with the pressures that causes so many to leave within the first three years, the critical moments when they either see if they’ve got it for life or have enough of it before it gets too late.

And I have to point out, for anyone who can understand, the bit at the end where the teacher with a really bad attitude starts querying the students in his class as to the whereabouts of his chalk not only strikes a nostalgic vein from SUMMER SCHOOL but I can see these little minions of Satan’s underworld actually doing it in real life now; it’s no longer a bit but a full-fledged possible reality in which we live today.

What’s more about this trailer is the very end when one of the teachers declares, “I wish I had the guts to leave.” This not only hits a comedic chord but it also feels very real when you think back to your own youthful days remembering the moments when you were stuck with a teacher who you knew was not only completely inept but tragically stuck in a position they just couldn’t leave.

3:10 TO YUMA (2007)

Director: James Mangold
Cast: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol, Dallas Roberts, Ben Foster, Vinessa Shaw, Johnny Whitworthn
Release: October 5, 2007
Synopsis: In Arizona in the late 1800’s, infamous outlaw Ben Wade (Crowe) and his vicious gang of thieves and murderers have plagued the Southern Railroad. When Wade is captured, Civil War veteran Dan Evans (Christian Bale), struggling to survive on his drought-plagued ranch, volunteers to deliver him alive to the “3:10 to Yuma”, a train that will take the killer to trial. On the trail, Evans and Wade, each from very different worlds, begin to earn each other’s respect. But with Wade’s outfit on their trail ““ and dangers at every turn ““ the mission soon becomes a violent, impossible journey toward each man’s destiny.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. For some, the answer is: Everything but country.

When asked what kind of music I like I usually resort to the answer above and then expound on the motifs and tropes of daddy hitting mama on the farm, wife leaving in the middle of the night, ol’ huntin’ dog being run over by your Ford-350 and that’s usually where I leave my feelings about country music.

You can’t get away from what the old west used to be and the trappings that went with it, the lifestyle, the pathos, the way Deadwood tried to capture it but I’ve always resorted to tossing Westerns in the sack with the kinds of films I would opt to watch last if ever given the chance to view something else. I haven’t seen DANCES WITH WOLVES, TOMBSTONE, UNFORGIVEN and scads of other horse-drawn classics just for the sheer nature of the world I am usually going to land in but this film feels different. It looks different.

Mangold made me a believer in the musical genre with WALK THE LINE and it feels here like he’s trying to spin something new that has old for far too long.

The opening sequence here is off-putting. The zig-zagging camera angles and use of black screen seem almost too much until you realize that there is a real sense of badness conveyed in the actions of Russell “I’ve Never Met A Phone I Didn’t Like”¦Or Mind Shattering On Some Bloke’s Skull” Crowe. There’s actually some momentum created in the act of the old time stick-up and the appearance of Christian Bale who feels like a genuine figure in his own right.

I’m not quite sure I get the reason or why Bale volunteers to bring the man to the, wait for it, 3:10 to Yuma, or why the hell Yuma of all places. I’ve been through Yuma, you can get some kick ass oranges and produce up in that piece, holmes. Regardless of the vegetable situation in that area I am stumped at why this train ride is so important but, nonetheless, there is a sense of trepidation about this prisoner transfer and Russell can’t help but be himself as he flashes that too good to be true Zoom Whitening smile when the idea of him getting away now becomes a possibility.

The mix in with Bale’s kid tagging along in an “Aw, shucks” sort of way, and this will obviously become a contentious issue when and if the kid gets shot, I put money on the fact he will, seems little forced and doesn’t make me more anxious to find out what happens next.

What does, though, make me want to know more is when we see the marauders, Russell’s old crew on the horizon as they plan to set their master free. The chaos that follows is what absolutely gets my attention.

There seems to be an emphasis in this trailer on the violent standoff that happens at the end, the falling off roofs is something I can relate to with all too nauseating clarity from all the faux western towns in this hell hole of a state I live in, and the guitar A-chord that’s struck doesn’t inspire true confidence but Mangold has bought my goodwill with WALK and there seems like a sliver’s chance that there’s something more to this film than just rolling tumbleweed.

.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)

Director: Joel Coen
Cast: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Stephen Root
Release: November 21, 2007
Synopsis: Based on the Cormac McCarthy’s novel “Old Men”, the story begins when Llewelyn Moss (Brolin) finds a pickup truck surrounded by a sentry of dead men. A load of heroin and two million dollars in cash are still in the back. When Moss takes the money, he sets off a chain reaction of catastrophic violence that not even the law – in the person of aging, disillusioned Sheriff Bell (Jones) – can contain. As Moss tries to evade his pursuers – in particular a mysterious mastermind who flips coins for human lives (Bardem) – the film simultaneously strips down the American crime drama and broadens its concerns to encompass themes as ancient as the Bible and as bloodily contemporary as this morning’s headlines.

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Prognosis: Positively Black. Funny thing about the Coen’s.

When they released RAISING ARIZONA in 1987 it wasn’t until it made its way to HBO before I ever came upon anything they’ve done theatrically. Most people remember the oddest things when they’re kids but I remember being 12 and being utterly enamored in not only their vibe, I instantly “got” their method of storytelling, but in the nuances that have made more hits than misses. I remember thinking that wherever in hell Tempe, Arizona was, the stated location for country lockup for H.I. McDunnough, that it must have been a barren wasteland of a few QuickTrips and home to the most hideous grocery store ever created. Who knew that I would someday move there and graduate from that fine city with a college degree? What I can be certain of, though, is that I can see the very same sense of place and time in this trailer that I did in ARIZONA.

“What’s the most you’ve ever lost on a coin toss?”

This trailer crackles with nuance and spatial permanence from the very moment Javier Bardem drawls across the screen. His voice scratches just slightly and the environment that’s interposed against it just quakes with desolation and isolation. What so many people in marketing camps all over Los Angeles vie for, garnering interest from people in their film, this trailer just achieves by setting a mood and letting it unspool like a fist of yarn.

I completely get what this movie is about and I didn’t need a voiceover to tell me. The film has a catchy premise, it’s so easy to understand that I can’t see how you can’t fall in love with the notion right from the start, especially how the car explosion mid-way through this thing lets you know we are not in FARGO country.

The tension is there, right in front of us, and as Javier chokes a man on a tile floor with his eyes crazed like a fox I am struck by how much idiosyncrasy this movie has but how that odd-ness translates into my buy-in that this is a very real place and a very real story.

I can believe fully in the quickening near the end that this movie is more of a cat and mouse thriller, that’s how it’s being sold, but I cannot help but see that what’s really at stake in this movie is not how much I believe that these people exist but that the Coen’s have found their way back after a string of detestable films that not even a die-hard could let pass as acceptable.

Having Javier end this thing in a creepy pose in a creepy chair in a creepy room? Brilliant. I haven’t seen one frame of this movie and already I’m afraid for my own life with this guy nearby.

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I am letting people download my first book for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or donation for the actual book. Download and read my “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE.

Ok, children…I’m finally back after the Con and I am just spent. Really, I got home last Sunday and still haven’t found the kind of energy that kept me going for twelve straight hours a day as I was working the floor. Here then are some of my half-assed highlights from Comic-Con 2007:

A) I find it very amusing that, in this space, mere months ago, I bagged on the SUPERBAD trailer. I honestly could not find one iota of inspiration within its 2 and 1/2 minute frame. Now that I am back from Comic-Con I can say it was one of the best comedies I’ve seen this year, even better than the over-hyped KNOCKED UP. Just an observation.

B) Two words: Press Line. I know there are hundreds of us around the Con and by us I do mean journalists. I don’t think it would be that much of an imposition for there to be a few seats in order to help those of us who aren’t in the studio’s pocket and need a little courtesy to cover a story. That’s fine, though, the way it is now. All I know is that if I can’t see it, I can’t cover it.

C) The bread that I broke with the cast of G4 was perhaps one of the better memories I will carry with me in all the years I have done this. All I can say was that that the cheese plate was delicious.

D) Big ups to Rogue Pictures for hosting one great breakfast in support of DEATH SENTENCE, directed by James Wan of SAW fame, on Saturday morning. Not only was this a well-managed event but it put this film on my radar as one that I must/have-to check out.

E) While a lot of other sites were busy chasing their need for exclusive A-list material, I am genuinely pleased at the coverage for MONSTER SQUAD I obtained.

F) Missy Peregrym. I’ve talked to her once, twice and now three times; you’ll feel her flavor soon enough again right in this space.

G) I am glad I ditched the audio interviewing in lieu of video. You’re all going to be subjected to video of my Ray Romano-esque voice as I chat up those who I met; Blair Butler was absolutely wonderful.

Z) If there are any writers out there who tell you that Comic-Con is an overblown affair almost not worth covering needs to be checked into the boards by a rabid mongoloid on ice with a hardwood hockey stick. Yes, you can make a case for all things lame and all things sucky and all things shitty but to be perfectly honest there was a sense of geek delight to be able and partake, and report on, everything I was privy to because I know there are people who only get the lo-fi experience; they have to stand in line, they don’t get to do 1:1s with anyone, they have to endure being huddled in with the rest of the crowd, they don’t get invited to parties and they sure don’t get invited to press screenings. If I were to go as a casual fan I would dream of being able to do what I did last weekend. I’ll be honest: It was nice to be recognized as an actual writer, reporter, on events going on and there is really nothing that can compare to having a little recognition and respect tossed my way when I got introduced as a, “writer for Kevin Smith’s….”

Comic-Con was absolutely still worth it…even though I did get shafted for being able to see that footage for IRON MAN. That part sucked. That part I would give back. Everything else, though, was golden. Sorta.

I AM LEGEND (2007)

Director: Francis Lawrence
Cast: Will Smith, Alice Braga, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Willow Smith, Charlie Tahan Olsen
Release: December 14, 2007
Synopsis: Robert Neville (Will Smith) is a brilliant scientist, but even he could not contain the terrible virus that was unstoppable, incurable”¦and manmade. Somehow immune, Neville is now the last human survivor in what is left of New York City…and maybe the world. But he is not alone. He is surrounded by “the Infected” – victims of the plague who have mutated into carnivorous beings who can only exist in the dark and who will devour or infect anyone or anything in their path. For three years, Neville has spent his days scavenging for food and supplies and faithfully sending out radio messages, desperate to find any other survivors who might be out there.

All the while, the Infected lurk in the shadows, watching Neville’s every move, waiting for him to make a fatal mistake. Perhaps mankind’s last, best hope, Neville is driven by only one remaining mission: to find a way to reverse the effects of the virus using his own immune blood. But his blood is also what The Infected hunt, and Neville knows he is outnumbered and quickly running out of time.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. I know I’m not the only one who finds Will Smith, when he’s being Will Smith, to be an utterly exacerbating rash in a film.

Sure, you can have Will Smith being Will Smith in INDEPENDENCE DAY and not mind so much because, really, everyone else is half-assing it as well; even Jeff Goldblum isn’t as creepy as is his want.

This all said, however, I find his turn in this trailer refreshing to the point that the man has some resonance long after you’ve seen it. I found myself thinking, ensconced in the confusion of what I was watching. For those who have no idea of what it is, do yourselves a favor and not look before you leap into this preview. What makes the moments here so compelling are the purposeful ways in which information is withheld from us as an audience.

For instance, y por ejemplo, you’ve got Will curled up inside a bathtub with a shotgun splayed across his shoulders and legs. We don’t know what the deal is or why the odd sleeping position, I can only imagine the crink that not even a vat of Icy Hot would be able to get out the following morning, although maybe he’s one of those drunken guys who have sunk to chugging green rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. It could happen.

Will’s voiceover isn’t as grating as you would think. He’s reserved, pulled back, and this is just a treat to be able and hear because there is no need for him to “project” to anyone. The visuals, as well, compliment the action on the screen as chaotic as it is: there’s a city in full-on evacuation mode, a la INDEPENDENCE DAY, and of course there is a wife and kid involved, none of which I am guessing is going to make it past the 1^st act. (We need our heroes to have lived and lost in order for them to seem compelling!)

What I like, what I really like about this trailer is the total clusterfuck that the incoming missiles do to the narrative. For you eggheads who read you already know what’s what but, for me, I liked the anomie, the chaos, and the eventual quiet that follows. The aftermath of what seems like a thermonuclear war that has devastated everything and everyone. It’s a brilliant rendering and I am quite impressed that Johnny Voiceover didn’t come running into the room to spoil the fun.

“Day 1001″

Now, again, Will gets behind the mic to continue the voiceover and I couldn’t be more impressed at the restraint. As he moves through a barren and hollow New York City I can’t help but feel actual trepidation as he skulks his way with his pump action friend at the ready. And I have no clue, still, about what he’s so on guard for but you feel something under the surface.

The end, where you know there is something hiding in the darkness? This is where the payoff just comes right you. Yeah, you don’t see what’s coming or what it is that has Will so uptight but so what. There’s enough here to warrant the feeling that this is a movie worth keeping track of.

SICKO (2007)

Director: Michael Moore
Cast: Michael Moore
Release: Now Playing…At A Peer-to-Peer File Sharing Site Near You
Synopsis: Following on the heels of his award winning hit “Fahrenheit 9/11″ and his Oscar® winning film “Bowling for Columbine,” acclaimed filmmaker Michael Moore’s new documentary sets out to investigate the American healthcare system. Sticking to his tried-and-true one-man approach, Moore sheds light on the complicated medical affairs of individuals and local communities. SICKO promises to be every bit as indicting as Moore’s previous films.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive; Or, One Of The Best Arguments For BitTorrent. This trailer’s inclusion almost seems perfunctory.

I don’t think that you could easily dismiss the story about Michael Moore paying the insurance costs for one of the country’s biggest outspoken Moore critics as anything less than a nice, calculated move to start the PR machine into overdrive or the recent dust-up about Moore going to Cuba to help out some workers from 9/11 get the kind of medical care that they just couldn’t here in the states but what you can get angry about with great prejudice is that not only do we have people staying at awful jobs simply for the health insurance but we have created the mindset that healthcare only goes to those who can afford to pay it. I realize we’re a capitalist country and as someone who has had to pay hundreds of dollars to my PPO, seething with every dime I have to turn over, I just think that the system of organized healthcare is a broken machine. From privatized drug companies who are lining their coffers with millions of dollars and excuses about R&D to millions of Americans who have to get a referral from a physician in order to see the kind of specialist they know they need.

Sometimes,

“We got an issue in America”¦”

It’s way too easy to pick apart sound clips and snippets where Moore uses Bush against himself but George is right-on when he says that physicians are getting out of the game simply because of issues of liability. You can’t help but feel a twinge of something as George Bush starts this trailer and then have a laugh as George mentions that OB/GYN’s are no longer able to”¦”practice their love with women.”

As you wonder what the hell he meant we launch into the short and sweet about where this movie is going to take us. We traipse into the halls and steps of companies who make their livelihood by adding a subjective element into the twisted world of insurance claims administration. It’s hard to imagine just what’s going on as we move at a breakneck pace through the trailer but, yes, the first volley Moore has in his arsenal is something we all should know: the more claims you can deny the better overall health of the corporation. Nothing is more important than the health of the corporation and that resonates loud and clear.

What’s more is Moore is well stocked in his quick facts. Hauling out old footage of Nixon declaring that he’d like to see America have the best health-care coverage in the world only to quickly use modern footage of some members of congress with accompanying Pop-Up Video symbols about how much each one of them received from health-care lobbyists to say nothing of the bow he puts on it all: we’re far enough down on the health-care list that we’re just inches above Slovenia in terms of quality.

Quick moment of a congressional hearing of a high-level medical insurance reviewer who says that, yes, she denied a necessary operation for a man, who subsequently died, just so she could continue to ensure her ascension within the corporation in question. It’s appalling.

The humor strikes up at about this time. This is where Moore takes his 9/11 workers to Guantanamo Bay in order to get them the medical care that the Bush Administration is taking issue with as he decided to go to nearby Cuba. It’s part showmanship and part factual farce as nothing makes hard cold reality go down better than a little absurdity. This trailer works on all levels. If it doesn’t get your blood simmering then I can’t imagine what would.

ONCE (2007)

Director: John Carney
Cast: Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova
Release: Now Playing
Synopsis: A modern day musical set on the streets of Dublin. Featuring Glen Hansard and his Irish band “The Frames,” the film tells the story of a street musician and a Czech immigrant during an eventful week as they write, rehearse and record songs that reveal their unique love story.

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Prognosis: Positive. This represents one of the most pertinent reasons why there is such an interest in Before Vs. After.

When I initially saw this trailer I was bemused in a way, seeing all the superlatives heaped upon the film by those who have seen it during the festivals in which it has played, but there just had to be something, right, in all the people who are quoted in this piece saying something to the effect of its sheer genius?

I, you, cannot be sure because we’re only presented with the trailer but see how we’re led down a unique path during this trailer’s exposition. Initially we’re offered the very simplistic stylings of Glen Hansard as a busker on the streets of Dublin. (One of *the* best places to get plastered if ever there was one such a place that could earn such a distinction) The tone is implicitly melodic as we’re shown not only the Sundance award it won but our first quote from mainstream media, here played by Kenneth Turan of the LA Times, that heralds this movie as the second coming of Christ.

The trailer is allowed to take over and in a matter of seconds, sheer seconds, we’re let into the tiny world between a man and a woman. The one, as we’ve seen, is a street performer and the other uses the streets in order to make a living. It’s bright as day, clear as crystal, to everyone watching this trailer that these two definitely have something. Whether it’s chemistry or something else entirely as you see them interact with one another you can’t help but feel that this trailer establishes a good amount of personality in a tightly packed amount of time.

In the musical interlude, with one of the best original songs I’ve ever heard placed within an advertisement, the happy-happy joy-joy moments these two kids share just feels real, if nothing else. The way we see them touch one another and get close to one another just feels natural and doesn’t ever stray into forced intimacy.

This is where the drama comes in.

The young girl not only has a husband but the guy is coming to Ireland to check up on his old lady. This is where, even in the brief moment we’ve been exposed to these two individuals, there’s tension and a quick quote from the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune and Rolling Stone just blowing their collective wad over this film. It’s enough to make you think, “Shit, I need to see this film.” The music isn’t bad, the people seem nice as fuck and the location seems awfully nice to look at.

This is where the feeling to drop everything just takes over and the need to see the film overrides any objection to how far you need to travel to see it. For any trailer to be able and do that not only deserves my money but deserves other people’s as well.

After seeing the movie and seeing how it is deserving of a superlative of some sort, be that of best musical, best love story you’ll get dragged to yet be pleasantly surprised at from the first frame, there is no question that this movie will stay with you long after you’ve seen it. It’s the best thing, after SUPERBAD, that I’ve seen this summer.

BRATZ (2007)

Director: Possibly A Guantanamo Detainee
Cast: Who Cares
Release: Unfortunately, It Will Be
Synopsis: I pity you if you actually care.

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Prognosis: Negative. Enjoy, this is the worst trailer I’ve never had to review.