Category: Trailer Park

  • Trailer Park: Robert Vaughn

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Sometimes you just feel you’re in the presence of great knowledge when you talk to someone.

    Robert Vaughn has a list of film and television credits that span fifty years and spans multiple generations of people who grew up consuming television. I happen to be one of those people and it wasn’t until the A-TEAM came on in the 80’s when I was introduced to not only Robert but to the kind of history he brings to every production he’s in. Whether it’s acting alongside Mr. T or Steve McQueen or even modern day Gen X actors who are major talents across the pond there are just some things you’re never going to get around asking someone who has seen it all.

    And Robert has.

    From series that didn’t so well to the ones that did, Robert just will not relent. And it was this sense of enduring determination that has allowed him to strike ratings gold with his long successful series on the BBC with HUSTLE, a program that has finally found an outlet here, stateside, through AMC. Equal parts OCEAN’S ELEVEN, THE STING and a whole lot of snappy writing from the minds that brought the equally successful MI-5 to Americans, HUSTLE brims with intelligence while giving plenty enough to those who are in the mood for a show about modern day Robin Hoods. The show is fast, quick-paced and with four seasons equaling a total of 24 episodes you’re able to catch up with these cats in no time at all.

    Robert spoke to me regarding the show, his take on the state of modern television and how much longer he intends on staying in front of the camera.

    All four seasons can now be seen playing on AMC every Wednesday night at 10/9C and are now available to be purchased on DVD.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Great series. I only learned about HUSTLE a week ago and”¦

    [Laughs]

    ROBERT VAUGHN: Really? It’s been out for four years.

    STIPP: I just don’t happen to live in England and haven’t heard anything about the series being brought over on AMC. I did want to say that the show is quite excellent and the fact that there are four seasons now on AMC really gives people a chance to get ensconced with what’s happening. I am curious to know, if you can answer it, why a full season represents six episodes on the BBC?

    VAUGHN: Quite simply, that’s all the United Kingdom can afford, in terms of producing a series to try it out. Let’s say here you shoot a pilot and someone feels strongly about it, really strong about it, they’ll order 22 more. Well, in Britain, the BBC has much lower budgets. They have to wait until they have a group of shows that total 24 before they can sell it internationally. It’s what they’ve done with us. It’s playing all over the Orient, Africa, Eastern Europe and so on.

    STIPP: It’s seems like it is here where if you can make it to five seasons, that’s the goal for any television show.

    VAUGHN: Right. And AMC didn’t buy HUSTLE for four seasons. They bought three seasons and the fourth one was completed in time for them to show it last year.

    STIPP: And what was Robert Wagner’s connection to the program? I saw him listed on IMDB for the show.

    VAUGHN: He’s listed as a guest star on the last show we did for the season. Of the 24 shows we’ve done we filmed 2 in America, one in Las Vegas and one in Los Angeles. The one from Los Angeles, RJ, as he’s called by his friends, was a guest star on the show. And we used him in connection with the publicity of the show because I’ve known him since he married Natalie Wood the first time. So they put us all on shows, like The View, where we were brought out as a team.

    STIPP: I’m fascinated by the show’s ethos, that you hustle those who don’t deserve it.

    VAUGHN: One of the things I learned early on in the first season of the show, and I came in three days after they had started shooting, is that when I started reading about people who have been hustled out of large amounts of money, wealthy people, never report it to police”¦out of embarrassment. These people, most of them, made their money by their wits and they don’t want made known that they’ve been outwitted.

    STIPP: So, do you think that’s the allure, that there are people who operate outside of the law, like modern day Robin Hoods, righting wrongs?

    VAUGHN: Yeah, the fact that they are living at the highest level possible when they are successful and, when they are not successful, are trying to scrape by, which we have done in the series. We have done shows where living conditions dropped dramatically because they had not been successful, recently, with conning people.

    [Laughs]

    Kind of like any job.

    STIPP: How do you keep things fresh without it seeming gimmicky?

    VAUGHN: It’s exactly as you mentioned earlier. It’s not like American television where you have to come up with 20 plus episodes with 20 plus scenarios for one season. It’s much easier for the producers to come up with 6 as opposed to 24.

    STIPP: How have you seen these characters evolve?

    VAUGHN: I think they got lucky. Casting is everything in TV as it is in movies. If there’s something wrong with 1 or 2 people in the cast, the show doesn’t work. Television is all about attracting people to the personalities within the show. And everybody seemed to like all of us. The black guy who was in the first three seasons, Adrian Lester, he was referred to as the black Olivier in England. He’s the star of theater, he’s done everything and had a huge following even prior to getting into HUSTLE. Marc [Warren] was on his way up and is famous because of this show. He had done some wonderful things prior to this, character work, he had never done something so consistent. And Jamie [Murray], who’s a very pretty girl, and looks like she’s Eurasian, she’s one hundred percent Irish. So, we’ve all caught on.

    One strange thing, and I did come into things one week after they started shooing the show, that happened after I began my work was that I started receiving these messages from these people I’ve come to know over the years, largely press people. They all wanted to know about my character, what I thought about it, what research I’ve done on it. And I explained exactly as I just told you, there was no research, I came in at the last minute. I’m getting all these questions and it was then when I started to talk, to myself, and said, “I’ll just make something up.” It was then when I said to people that, “Oh, it’s really like if Napoleon Solo from MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. went and retired on his government pension but all those years of being exposed to jewelry and wealth and beautiful cars and beautiful women and casinos all over the world, like James Bond, realizes he can’t live on his pension. So, what they do would be in the confines of the law”¦” I was just making it up as I was going along. Everybody wrote it down as what was going on with my character.

    STIPP: Was that part of the appeal? That could you revisit this sort of debonair kind of character?

    VAUGHN: I get scripts every year”¦Usually after 10 or 15 pages I close it. But I got sent three shows from a production company, called SPOOKS or MI-5 here, that company produced that show. I read the first script for the show and I continued to read the other two and my wife has never seen me read something like this all the way through. I said, “This is something really different.” My guess was right. Sometimes your guess can be wrong but I guess if everybody guessed right there’d be more shows on the air.

    STIPP: Are the English different when it comes to what they like out of their television? I guess you could see it from a sociological point of view and see what the two cultures really value but do they respond to things differently?

    VAUGHN: Well, the English seem to respond to our comedies but we don’t respond to all of theirs. Usually, comedies are harder to translate from one culture to the next but that’s not the case in England with what America exports over there. Or, in the case of ALL IN THE FAMILY, that was originally a British show.

    STIPP: Good point. Now, if you try and compare apples to apples, not that you can do it exactly, but you had a spate of con shows debuting on a variety channels here in America. I’m thinking of Ray Liotta’s failed show and the failed show on ABC, THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY. What was the angle that made this show really connect with the audience?

    VAUGHN: I just don’t know. If I did know I could be a mega producer like Dick Wolf and be a billionaire. He’s the one who obviously knows because he has a formula that works.

    STIPP: The producers of HUSTLE tip their caps to the older productions like THE STING and even recent movies like OCEAN’S ELEVEN.

    VAUGHN: Well, that’s exactly the case of my television show, MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., which rode the crest of the first three James Bond movies and it came on just as the third movie opened. There was just a huge interest in secret agents and spying.

    STIPP: Is there something to when people that the element of luck has something to with the success of a particular program?

    VAUGHN: I’m writing an autobiography and it was just last week”¦David McCallum, who was my co-star on U.N.C.L.E., they’re putting a DVD of all four seasons, and Warner Brothers, who are putting out the DVDs asked us to be sat down and be interviewed for this. It lasted about three hours and it was because of this where I went and thought about why U.N.C.L.E. was as successful as it was, when it was. There were a number of reasons. Mainly, it was because of the success of the Bond pictures. Next, David and I were successful in engaging a young audience. And, the next most important reason was the time slot. Because, when we went on the air, in 1964 we were on the verge of being cancelled two months after we started because our Nielsen ratings were so low. They changed our time slots from Tuesday night to Monday night but one of the things about that is that the show caught on with college students who were away at school. In those days, in regular houses, there was just one black and white set so when they came back, during the holidays, they were the ones controlling what was being watched.

    And so, the ratings suddenly went through the roof and, by the summer, when they re-ran the entire first season, it wound up being the number one show in the country almost a year after it almost canceled. It was mostly all due to college students and it the time slot was moved once more accordingly and the show remained a huge hit.

    STIPP: It’s just these little things that contribute to the overall success and not just one big factor.

    VAUGHN: I said yesterday when I was being interviewed for the U.N.C.L.E. DVD that this would not have happened in modern television. If the show is not a hit within the first two airings it is off the air. If the show, if U.N.C.L.E. would have been released now it would have been off the air permanently by October because networks do not take chances like that anymore.

    STIPP: How does that sit with you now? That there a possible gems that are simply not given enough room to find an audience?

    VAUGHN: And sometimes they’re not the most miserable show, either, but they’re put in one of the most miserable time slots. I mean ALL IN THE FAMILY is a good example of that. They did three pilots before they went on the air before they even had a crack at success. Everyone was terrified of that premise”¦glorify a bigot. But Norman [Campbell] kept coming back because he believed in it. The question of how long you’re willing to hang around, if you’ve got the money as Norman did, you’ve got to consider there are lot of other factors at play. In U.N.C.L.E., David had the ability to attract young girls and I attracted the older women, the women in their 20’s.

    [Laughs]

    STIPP: One of the other things I’ve found is that some really good television actors have, at one time, been good doing traditional theater. Have you found that to be the case?

    VAUGHN: Yeah, very much so. Before movies, before talkies even, almost any actor could be put up on screen but once talkies started to come into play there was a rush to hire traditionally trained actors because there’s a famous story about Valentino opening his mouth for the very first time on the screen and out came [in a high pitched squeal], “Hi, my name is”¦”

    [Laughs]

    But that was the reason why there was a rush to get well-trained actors on the screen. The whole dynamic changed.

    STIPP: In your fifty years as an actor you could be out enjoying your accomplishments away from the lens of a camera. What keeps you coming back?

    VAUGHN: Well, I’ve played Hamlet three times, I’d play Hamlet a 100 times if I wasn’t so old but it is the most extraordinary role ever written in the English language for an actor to play. But all my children are grown, I have a lovely home in the Connecticut countryside and I don’t leave it that often but when I find something that I like I leave it because I still enjoy doing the actual process of acting.

    As long as I am ambulatory I will be out there acting wherever I can.

    [Laughs]

    STIPP: That’s about as good as an end as there is. Thank you, Robert.

  • Trailer Park: Allison Janney

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Allison Janney is one of the first people I’ve ever talked to that has radiated a genuine sense of ease and openness. She also takes the cake for being the first person I’ve ever talked to regarding prescription medication for generalized anxiety with regard to flying.

    Allison’s career has been punctuated with Emmy wins (four, actually) for her work on The West Wing, is the only cast member from that show who has won more than one for her work, has starred in films like THE HOURS, THE ICE STORM but has integrated FINDING NEMO and PRIVATE PARTS into the mix and she’s managed to build a resume that many of her contemporaries only wish they could possess.

    Today, though, Allison’s turn as Prudy Pingleton in the newest incarnation of HAIRSPRAY is one of those parts that demonstrate her ability to draw on her dramatic roots and play a part that is equal measures absurd and comedic. I wish I could say that the conversation ranges from the mundane to the insightful much like every other interview I’ve conducted but Allison was up for some casual conversing regarding the film, about what she still has yet to accomplish in her career and the fact that, yes, she does speak in the 3rd person in a way that is completely endearing when it comes to declaring her ability to sing and dance. The conversation picks up in the midst of an explanation of whether she’s been doing a lot of traveling in support of her next job, a role in The Autumn Garden during the Williamstown Theater Festival.

    HAIRSPRAY opens today, July 20th.

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    ALLISON JANNEY: I’m doing a lot of back and forth these days.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Nice flight. Isn’t that a five hour one?

    JANNEY: It’s four and a half out and five and a half back.

    STIPP: Joy”¦ Do you do well, flying?

    JANNEY: I’ve gotten better at it. I used to have a big fear but not anymore. It’s gotten better”¦maybe it’s the drugs. [Laughs] Maybe the drugs have gotten better. No, seriously, I’ve just been doing it so much that I’ve just let go of the fear a little bit.

    STIPP: I’m in the opposite position. I was doing well all my life and now, whammo.

    JANNEY: Really? Was there an incident or something?

    STIPP: I’m pretty sure it stemmed from becoming a father some years ago. I’m equally sure that there’s some psychoanalytical component going on there but the Ativan is the world’s best drug. Ever.

    JANNEY: Someone gave me a book, a pilot actually, when I did the Ellen DeGeneres Show, a pilot gave me his book”¦

    STIPP: I’ve got that one! It did nothing to help curb the irrationality. I think I’m a lost cause at this point.

    JANNEY: You have to ask yourself: Do you want fear or faith? Be fearful or faithful.

    STIPP: Yes. You’re absolutely right. But enough about my irrational fears of burning in a wreck of metal”¦Are you doing this flying to help support the film, doing promotions on both coasts?

    JANNEY: Actually, no. The premiere is tonight here in LA and I did a workshop in New York, and I did two weeks of that, I’m back for the premiere here tonight and I am going back to New York, renting a car, and heading up to the Williamstown Theater Festival; I’m going to be doing a play called The Autumn Garden. After that I come back here and then, hopefully, I’m going to be doing His Girl Friday at the Roundabout Theater this fall and through the spring. John Guare did an adaptation of it, in conjunction with The Front Page, which was a stage version of His Girl Friday and he kind of did an amalgam of those and we’re going to try and put it on if we can find the man who can play Walter.

    STIPP: Keeping busy in the theater.

    JANNEY: Yes and it’s making me happy, too. A lot of this movie stuff has been driving me crazy, so many things I’ve been attached to”¦I just wanted to do something that makes me feel good. I haven’t done any plays in seven years so I wanted to get back in doing that.

    STIPP: That’s interesting you bring that up. I’ve talked with a few different television actors who’ve said that they enjoy being able to do things like that in their off time when they’re not in production. Were you able to squeeze in any of that during your time on The West Wing?

    JANNEY: Well, I did little parts in movies during the break. One time, in the beginning, I did a play of Shakespeare in the Park in New York City but that was just after we filmed the pilot. Maybe it was the year after, I’m terrible with dates”¦but it was never really long enough to do any kind of serious theater because it couldn’t be any longer than a one month commitment.

    I just didn’t.

    A lot of times I would just get too tired. Work was so great but it was just so”¦so”¦

    STIPP: Exhausting?

    JANNEY: Yes. Yes. Exhausting”¦ and when you don’t get spend much time with any of your friends or family. So, when you get that time off”¦ you just want to do something other than work.

    STIPP: Like any other job, I take it.

    JANNEY: Yeah. And I really miss the theater. I’m just really excited to be able and do that again.

    STIPP: What’s your passion? Shakespeare, the modern playwrights”¦

    JANNEY: Shakespeare, I’ve done it. I went to study Shakespeare in London but I like doing revivals and modern new plays. I don’t have any specific genre that I like”¦But I am just a fan of other playwrights. There are so many different plays I like and there’s no one particular style that I think I excel at. I did Arthur Miller’s play A View from the Bridge and I loved that”¦Shaw I love”¦I can handle style pieces, I tend to like them better. I’d like to do a musical too.

    STIPP: Well, being in HAIRSPRAY”¦

    JANNEY: I hate to say that I’m the only character that doesn’t get to sing or dance. I can sing and dance but in this incarnation of Prudy they did not have her sing or dance.

    STIPP: I have yet to see the film but I’m surprised they changed that.

    JANNEY: Yup, they changed it from the play.

    STIPP: Why did they do it?

    JANNEY: I don’t know. I can’t speak for them. I have no idea why they decided to do that unless it was”¦I think to pad out the other parts they took away some stuff from Prudy”¦.I don’t know, really. You’d have to ask them. I will say that I was disappointed that Prudy Pingleton didn’t sing or dance and I know that Allison Janney is one talented actress.

    [Laughs]

    STIPP: I’m surprised you didn’t kick down some doors and wield those Emmy’s. I was a fan of the original when Prudy is walking into the wrong side of town. That whole montage is wonderful.

    JANNEY: I know! That was one of my favorite scenes and they took it away”¦John Travolta does that part now.

    STIPP: Huh?

    JANNEY: I know, believe me. They gave that part to John. She’s a little trimmed down in this version.

    STIPP: What else, besides cutting the heart out of the original, have they changed”¦

    [Laughs]

    JANNEY: It’s still there. Prudy still has some very fun moments. It’s really a cameo”¦it’s what I’d call it. Scott Whitman and Marc Shaiman and Adam Shankman, they’re friends of mine, so when Scotty called and asked “Will you come do this?” I just said, “Of course I would. I’d love to.” I hadn’t even read it”¦.Of course I’d do it”¦I kind of remembered what Prudy’s part was so when I read it I was like, “Wow, didn’t she have more to do?”

    [Laughs]

    I wanted to do it anyway because I love them and I had a great time doing it and I’m really happy to have been a part of it because it was so much fun.

    STIPP: How long were you on set?

    JANNEY: I literally had three days of shooting and they were each a month apart.

    STIPP: Why am I even talking to you? Are you sure you’re actually in the movie?

    [Laughs]

    JANNEY: I mean I really did just fly there, do one day, and then leave and then came back three weeks later and do another day. So everyone was like, “Oh”¦Yeah, hey!” It was a bizarre experience and I don’t feel like I made my HAIRSPRAY friends but I tell you, Nikki and Amanda were so great. They were the ones I worked with the most and I just adore those girls”¦They were just so great with me. We just bonded and instantly they were so welcoming and appreciative that I was there. They really made me feel welcome. I had a good time.

    STIPP: Were you able to see them in other numbers that you weren’t necessarily a part of?

    JANNEY: My very first day there I was able to see them do one of those really big numbers, Good Morning Baltimore, which was so exciting. It was thrilling.

    I just wanted to run through one take, dance and leap around. It’s great, I loved it.

    STIPP: Musicals are really making a comeback.

    JANNEY: I know!

    STIPP: I don’t know if you’ve seen it, the film called ONCE, it’s a musical that recently came out and has done especially well. It seems like people are genuinely open to seeing these kinds of films.

    JANNEY: ONCE? It’s a musical?

    STIPP: Yes. It’s a little film from Ireland and it’s perhaps one of the best movies I’ve seen this summer. Plus, it’s like 90 minutes. It’s short.

    JANNEY: Hmm, love that too”¦I haven’t seen anything.

    STIPP: Are you able to get out and catch a lot films?

    JANNEY: I try but I think I’ve gotten spoiled being a voting member of different unions so I get a lot of screeners. I’ve got my nice TV and I love to be at home. I’m a homebody. I’d rather see a movie at home than go out. Unless it’s like to go out and see something like a DIE HARD where the only reason to go is to see it on the big screen.

    STIPP: Have you seen anything of note?

    JANNEY: I haven’t seen OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES but I’d like to. I’ve just been working.

    STIPP: And speaking of work, why did HAIRSPRAY lend itself to being remade? It seems like the original was especially good already. Did you have any reservations about dipping into the remake?

    JANNEY: No, not at all. I love Scott and Marc so much and I saw their Broadway production. No, I totally thought it would be all fun. And I think John Waters, he’s in it, I think he’s happy with it and what they did. But I think it’s one of those movies that”¦I mean look at GREASE. People are less interested in taking a risk and doing something new so why not take something that’s tried and true, put some music to it, stick it on the screen and see what happens.

    It seems like the American musical is an original invention so why not bring it to the big screen, that way people won’t have to go to Broadway to see a musical. They can go to their theater in Iowa and see a big Broadway musical.

    STIPP: I think, too, that Waters’ original was pretty good with the way he treated segregation. The film comes at a time in history before the pressure cookers of racial change. Is that still at the core of this movie?

    JANNEY: Yeah. Yeah, it is. And it still kind of works today too. At its heart it’s about people being afraid of what they don’t know. It’s a microcosm of what still goes on today. With different races, with different religions, different countries, it seems to be a message that people don’t ever learn.

    STIPP: Are people just incapable of learning or is this something that will be a part of the human experience?

    JANNEY: It just will. It may not be about black and white anymore but it will be something.

    STIPP: What keeps people coming back to musicals that are seemingly brought out from the closet year after year?

    JANNEY: I think that when you see something, like Grease, it’s a part of your past and when there’s a movie that comes out you have a relationship with it. People are more apt to seeing something that they have in their heart that they had a good experience with and experience it again. Or maybe they’ll feel like taking their kids and say something like, “I love this, maybe you’ll love this too.” There’s history attached to it.

    STIPP: Is there more of a leniency with actors being able to move to film, to television, to the theater?

    JANNEY: I think so, definitely. Especially as parts become more scarce. Actors might start saying, “You know”¦maybe TV isn’t so bad.” I think that most actors are scared of doing theater.

    STIPP: Really?

    JANNEY: Yeah. I think that Julia Roberts is brave to go and do theater. That’s how you really prove your weight as an actor is in the theater. And I feel like any great actor would be good in the theater and I think that everyone should do more theater. Most actors should not be afraid to jump in and do it but if you grow up doing television it’s like, “I’ve already done that scene. I don’t want to do it again.” People get lazy. But there’s so much fun in the repetition of the theater, you find new things, and there’s so much freedom in that structure and the relationship with the audience every night.

    STIPP: As a woman growing older in this business what do you have to say about the women coming up through this business? The ones who have to look young and act young while you, yourself, try and find the parts that will allow you to keep working in the way you’d like to?

    JANNEY: Well, it’s so different for every woman. I, because of my size”¦ I mean, when I was fifteen I was playing forty year-old women. My career has never been dependent on me looking young and beautiful so I don’t know what it’s like for those girls. It’s certainly going to be hard once that’s gone, so I think that the one thing that can be worked on is your acting and not so much what you look like. Really work on the craft of acting and if you really work on that craft time is kind to you, I think. But I think the women that last in this business are the ones that are really great actors. But that’s what I think!

    [Laughs]

    STIPP: And that’s a great way to end it. Thank you, so much, for the time.

    JANNEY: Well thank you, Chris. I’ll think about you on my next flight.

    STIPP: I’d say the same thing but the Ativan would wipe out any memory of you.

  • Trailer Park: Adam De La Pena

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    I wasted a lot of my life playing video games.

    I can tell you the simple joys of beating Castlevania or Metroid or the OG version of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out and seeing the scroll of names, the designers and producers of the game itself, who I could thank for taking up every ounce of fresh free time I had. There is something rather strange about the time warp one goes through when you look at your watch after getting blasted, again, trying to make it past a level only to see hours evaporated like acetone.

    I never thought what it must have been like for the men and women who were behind the keyboard, cranking out the 1’s and 0’s that made up engrossing hours of entertainment. Some of the people who were great went on to create corporations and empires based on the adolescent need to escape while some of the others who were, well, not so great would wind up driving their Ford into the side of their employer’s building in retaliation for them not recognizing their genius. More on that later.

    Adam De La Pena, the man and myth behind Minoriteam and the whipping post of every whim that Gary Busey had in I’m With Busey, is back with Code Monkeys, an 8-bit show dedicated to sending up the lives of programmers and the things they have to endure at the hands of ignorant management while forging the path that so many would follow after the 80’s introduced home video gaming to young men everywhere.

    Adam was nice enough to take some time out of his hectic schedule, in between his brief stints in taking bets on Super Mario Brothers (more on that, as well, later), to explain how he got Steve Wozniak to add his voice to the program and whether programmers operate on a beta level different from the rest of us.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: So…Why the hell do I have to see the commercial every time some program on G4 goes to break? Is the show going to take over the network?

    ADAM DE LA PENA: I’ll tell you why the commercial is on all the time…It’s the only damn show on that network.

    [Laughs]

    Like”¦they don’t tell you anything when you’re doing television. It’s, “Hey, how many times is the show going to run?”

    The show is going to be running like 20 times! I think at point even I’m going to fucking hate it. But, really, they’re going to run the crap out of it. But at least there’s 13 of them and it’s not like it’s a 6 episode order. And the first episode”¦Did they send you a screener or anything like that?

    STIPP: No, no. This was kind of a last minute interview but I did make my way to the G4 site and then to Break.com where I was able to see the offered clips.

    DE LA PENA: Oh yeah, Break. The classiest site on the web?

    STIPP: Yeah, where you can see clips of Code Monkeys and then catch the brutality of some idiot kid on a skateboard landing on their face after some failed jump.

    DE LA PENA: Break”¦I was first like, “Uh”¦what’s this site?” And then I go on to learn that around 200,000 people have seen the whole thing. I was kind of shocked by that.

    STIPP: Wow.

    DE LA PENA: Yeah, it’s pretty high for people who’ve sat and watched the whole thing.

    STIPP: I did and I honestly thought it was really amusing. It’s kinetic but funny at the same time which I thing fits well with the ADD addled youth this program is aimed at.

    DE LA PENA: My biggest victory is that Neil Diamond is a character. My biggest victory. That and I’m able to tell the story of two guys, Dave and Jerry, where I play Dave. These guys work at a game company and they’re perfectly comfortable there, they like it, and then the company gets sold to a crazy Texas guy, Larry, who is based on this guy in the early days of the video game industry that didn’t know a thing about video games but then he goes on to own this code factory, his son told him to invest money in it, and it suddenly becomes Atari or ColecoVision.

    STIPP: And the episodes have a distinctive look to them; It’s not unlike video games that a lot of us Gen Xers grew up playing”¦

    DE LA PENA: Yes”¦ It’s a mixture of Photoshop After Effects and Final Cut. I wanted to do something without interference from anybody so I kind of did it by myself with my friends. We did it and we were going to just throw it up on the Web”¦and we had a 7 minute piece of animation that we were happy with and we showed it around. A bunch of people were actually interested in it but G4 made the best offer of like, “Look, we’re not the biggest network but your show will actually find a home here.” And that was the most important thing to me so we said, “Yeah, give us some money and we’ll do a bunch of episodes.”

    The thing is, they gave us money for a pilot, a half-hour pilot, and they were really cool about it. Essentially they made it clear like, “Just don’t screw up the pilot and it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion we’ll pick up the show.” So, the pilot, which is not really the first episode, because they can’t air the pilot because it would get a TV-14, which is something they can’t air on their network, we just went, “Fine, we’ll do another pilot.” I’m sure it’ll end up on the DVD or on the Internet.

    I think they had a problem with a scene where this monkey skull humps this girl”¦[I laugh]

    Yeah, a lot of horrible things happen in these episodes. But the pilot that does air has Steve Wozniak in it.

    STIPP: That must have been a big coup”¦How did you land him of all people?

    DE LA PENA: Here’s how I landed it: G4 gave us this list of all these people of we know, tech people, who would want to do the show. I was kind of like, “Yeah, ok, alright. But what about Steve Wozniak?” And they said, “Oh, we don’t know about him. He’s the founder of Apple”¦” Whatever. I literally found his number through some crazy chain on the Internet.

    STIPP: You’re kidding.

    DE LA PENA: I called it”¦And he answers the phone. Coolest guy in the world. Like no bullshit guy in the world, says he’d do it, and it was like the easiest thing to set up. We basically went to the Sunnyvale area, booked the recording studio, and the whole time I’m thinking, “He’s not going to show up.” He shows up, couldn’t be nicer, does an interview, does everything we ask for, says it’s one of the best things he’s ever done, being animated”¦He said, “It’s like when they asked me to program for Atari.” I was like, “What?!” “Yeah,” he said, “Like when I was making Pong”¦” And luckily I got this all on tape so no one can call “Bullshit” on me.

    It’s awesome because Steve is playing himself but, in the show, he wants to concentrate on Apple but Dave is convinced that computers are a passing fad, like MTV”¦And that Dave thinks Wozniak lacks vision.

    STIPP: What made you want to render the show’s visual appeal to that 80’s era, Atari/Intellivision style?

    DE LA PENA: Well, I spent the vast majority of my childhood, like I’m sure many of those same people who visit your site, watching TV”¦and a lot of people talk about the influences of TV and movies but I also spent a lot of time playing video games when I wasn’t directly watching TV. And I’ve only done 2 animated shows but I’ve always known that you’ve got to have a reason for how it looks, not the other way around. When you do an animated script you’ve to ask, “Why does this have to be animated?” But the reason for me why it was going to be in the style that it’s in is that the games that these guys make are reflective of the way the show progresses. It has a really strong look. For example, when I was doing Minoriteam it had this very strong, Jack Kirby influenced, limited animation style. And even Adult Swim, who was notorious for giving everyone their space was like, “Are you sure want to animate it this way?” The answer was, “Of course! We don’t want it to be Superfriends. This is it.” We stuck to it, we stuck to that animation style and I’m really happy we did because it gave the show the look that it did.

    STIPP: It was distinctive! Not to bag on Cartoon Network but after a certain hour of the night you could easily see how a lot of their various Japanimation incarnations could all run together and you wouldn’t even know what’s what.

    DE LA PENA: Yeah, and one of the things is that, on paper, if you just read it you would be like, “It’s crazy, I guess, but how is this different from any other office comedy?” And I think once the show comes out you’ll be able to see how the story ideas are really influenced by video games and pop culture more so than the standard sitcom crap that’s on TV.

    STIPP: And this show transpires in the 80’s? Are you going to be breaking out all the culture from back then or are you planning on incorporating modern”¦

    DE LA PENA: It takes place in the 80’s but it was really important to not be like really overt with it. For example, E.T. That was a huge moment but that game sucked and people were pissed that it sucked and developers made a lot of these kinds of games. It’s incorporating these kinds of things with original ideas like one of the running themes in the show is that Larry fires people who will become the best game programmers, designers, in the world. Like he fires Dave Jaffe, the God of War designer, when he’s a little kid. Dave Jaffe does his voice and says, “Larry, I have this great idea for a game called God of War.” And Larry says “I don’t need no war games” and literally kicks him in the head. So Larry goes on to fire some of the best designers in the world; Nolan Bushnell from Atari, Steve Wozniak, all of them, so that’s one of the running gags. But, also, we’re taking modern video games and putting them in an 80’s context. Like we’ve got the guys from Red vs. Blue and they’re in our prison episode, they play prison guards.

    STIPP: How did you sell the people on doing the show? Was it hard for them to go along with the idea?

    DE LA PENA: Not really. I hate going through agents or managers so I’ll try and call them up. Like, I called Nolan Bushnell’s number and talked to him and he was totally cool. Setting up the time was the only hard thing. Dave Jaffe couldn’t have been nicer. Dave literally said, “Oh, I think I have time on Saturday”¦I don’t know if I can do it Saturday”¦” The last e-mail he sent me was, “I think I’ll be in town on Saturday.” I was just working on Saturday with my friend and he just shows up and says, “Want to record now?” Uh, yeah, great, thanks for coming”¦Steve Wozniak was relatively easy, the Red Vs. Blue guys”¦they’ve been great. I mean, we’re going to have a lot of other guest stars but those are the real guest stars for us. We’re more about going after the video game designers than we are going after Molly Ringwald.

    STIPP: Since you’ve spent so much time surrounded by it, and since you’re probably like me with the way you grew up in the midst of all the evolution in video games, is there any one thing designers or programmers say about what’s changed for them as things have become more complex?

    DE LA PENA: Well, I’ve talked to a bunch of designers and they say, “Yeah, we really like the show because, back then, it really was one guy designing a game.” A lot of the guys who came through that are now managers of people who make these games. It used to be 1 or 2 guys putting out a Pitfall or a Castlevania.

    So, we have talked to designers who are still in the business that used to be around back in the day. And there’s this one guy who told us a great story that we’re using in the show”¦There was this one designer who was developing this one engine for game. He kept designing and kept designing, working all by himself for like months on end. They kept asking, “When’s it going to be done? When’s it going to be done?” “Ah! It’ll be done when it’s done!” he said. He was really cranky kind of guy. But they couldn’t wait! So, they bought an engine from another company, shipped the game, and never told him. He came out one day and was like, “What’s going on? I’m done with it.” And they said, “Well, we already shipped it.”

    The guy lost his mind.

    He ran out of the company, literally, and those who were there said all they saw was his tiny little Ford car running into the side of the building. But he kept working there later on. He was just a crazy guy and they put up with it.

    STIPP: Are programmers just a different breed of people?

    DE LA PENA: I don’t think they’re so different. I come from a directing and writing background and I can relate to locking myself in a room to work.

    Like, in Code Monkeys, we have lots of different types of programmers. There’s Todd who does nothing but Quest games; he has a horn helmet and works alone and he’s designed his room like a lair and he’s all about the future of video games. There’s Dave, who’s really the best programmer but who spends his time putting turds in microwaves and blowing them up. There’s Jerry who is always worried about the ship date, the video game industry is all about ship dates. I was told this one story about a bunch of game designers who went to Japan, they were all working like crazy to meet the ship date and once they did they all got hammered and drunk and crazy. Obliterated for like 2 days and then went back to work on the next game. It’s just like any other industry”¦crazy pressure.

    STIPP: Is there any loyalty to particular companies”¦

    DE LA PENA: What happened, and it’s really interesting, the companies that started out small and would eventually become the players like EA”¦the game designers wanted their names on the boxes like Steven Spielberg. They thought their work was that important and they were right. They did this and they were a one man show. They started wanting more and more and eventually realized they could go and start their own companies. So, I think what happened was that early video game companies didn’t treat them very well.

    STIPP: Did any of these guys point to any one thing that changed the industry on the whole?

    DE LA PENA: I would have to say that it would probably be the Atari system because it was the first mass distributed home system that everyone had to have. Before then, these guys were designing games for upright cabinets that kids were putting quarters in. Atari opened”¦made it possible for a lot of these guys to work on games in general”¦different types of games, different titles. After that it would probably be the NES. Things took a big leap.

    There were also things that were huge but just didn’t sell well for whatever reason. Like, the Sega had the Dreamcast system”¦Everything was incredible on the system but it just didn’t do well. The games, everything. It was just one of those things.

    So, I think that’s the kind of thing they would say, when games came into the home. Now I think it’s the ability to be connected with other game players. That’s huge.

    STIPP: Yeah. I think I’ve missed the boat on that because I haven’t really had the urge to be connected with kids from Guam.

    [Laughs]

    DE LA PENA: And you’re yelling at some kid in Puerto Rico you just beat the shit out of in Halo. The Internet is all about community but there’s these game clans that exist within games like Halo…really serious gamers.

    STIPP: Some of these people take these things way too seriously.

    DE LA PENA: Oh yeah. My friend literally has to, when he works, when he’s on a television show, or if he’s designing, he literally has to take his X-Box or whatever system he’s using”¦put the system in a box, tape the box up and send it to somebody’s house so he doesn’t use it.

    STIPP: Seriously?

    DE LA PENA: Because he would be consumed with it. One time we’re working and someone brought one in, like a GameCube or something, and he said, “What the fuck is that? Get it out of here! I can’t have it in the office!”

    STIPP: Do you still play?

    DE LA PENA: I do. Have I played in the last couple of months? No. But what we have been playing is a lot of the old games. I’ve always had an older system but now we’re really getting into the old NES games: Castlevania, Super Mario Brothers. Now we’re taking things a step further and now we’re playing for things like fastest time on the 1st level with the flag. We’re betting money and paychecks, which is getting sad. But it’s keeping everybody sane here so it’s good.

  • Trailer Park: The Transformers Vs. Roger Ebert

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Because I’m too much of a puss to actively solicit this thing to publishers I was inspired to let people download my first novel and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    God love Roger Ebert.

    The man just is a workhorse with regard to film critism and while I vacationed in Chicago this week his review/article on THE TRANSFORMERS just serves to illuminate why you don’t have to be a stuffy intelectual to appreciate films that really do only serve one fan base that some would consider less than esteemed. Ebert slows things down, takes Bay’s kinetic visual orgasm down a notch and just speaks to why the film worked well enough to earn a three star review but why it did not achieve a fourth. His opinions were well-reasoned and actually removed any sense that this movie deserves to be treated like so many others that come out at this time of the year while couching everything in a casual tone that any bumpkin could relate to; it’s damn deceptive, as well, the way it seems like the review was written so fluidly. But that’s the reason why no one can come close to the man when it comes to film criticsm and why some pundits who are so sought after to appear on television shows once a week on Friday mornings are destined to become irrelevant and forgotten long after Ebert’s work soliders on within the literate community.

    I can’t help but wonder whether we’ll get to hear Ebert back in the balcony, his hands scooping and circling as he makes his point as to why Richard Roeper’s opinion misses the mark (Really, Richard, LEGALLY BLONDE 2? A thumb-up that will live in infamy.), and once again restore order to the force that is chock-full of quote-tards from Rolling Stone to The Today Show. Intellegence while speaking aloud doesn’t have to be seen as something to be avoided just to appease Ma and Pa Kettle in the Red and Blue states but as long as the man can keep churning out reviews like this one it’s nice to be able and consume some film crit that is not only palpatable but doesn’t suppose those going to see this movie are deserving of anything less than an honest critique.

    THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY; aka WEDDING DAZE; aka THE NEXT GIRL I SEE (2007)

    Director: Michael Ian Black
    Cast: Jason Biggs, Isla Fisher
    Release: August 17, 2007
    Synopsis:
    THE NEXT GIRL I SEE is a comedy that shows us that love has nothing to do with perfection. After losing the woman of his dreams, Anderson is convinced he’ll never fall in love again. But at the urging of his best friend, he spontaneously proposes to a dissatisfied waitress named Katie and an innocent dare evolves into the kind of love that both have been looking for all along.

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    Prognosis: Negative. Quick Memo to those running the campaign for this film: Pick a fucking title. It would be one thing if I was the jabrone running things but since you, MGM, insist on sloppily running your website like it’s 1996 and because you have public material out there that calls this film WEDDING DAZE, THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY and/or THE NEXT GIRL I SEE spanning IMDB and your own corporate site there is just no way around the idea that no one really cares about this film as a profitable vehicle. It’s sad that you have to let other people know that too with your laziness.

    It’s rough when you want to like something but just can’t.

    You’d like to grab any moment as reason enough to forgive what’s, ostensibly, a not-so-good film but even this trailer is an exercise in having lots of opportunities to try and snag something worthwhile but every time I just couldn’t muster enough forgiveness.

    I didn’t appreciate, first of all, staring at Jason Biggs’ ass. I mean, really, did I really need to see his flashy red tuchas as it gingerly moves to and fro? On top of that I get that the premise of this comedy is just that: the guy’s almost-fiancé drops dead of a myocardial infarction and so he’s bummed as shit forever and day, even resorting to drinking pickle juice, until”¦da-da-daaaaa”¦he finds a complete stranger to propose to.

    But here’s the best part! After his buddy, that creepy guy from Six Feet Under, who still oozes that slimy vibe, picks the random girl Biggs proposes to, and of course she’s one of the hottest waitresses that have never ever worked at any IHOP I’ve been at, the girl says yes.

    Whoa! Comedy is sure to abound”¦

    Yeah, Isla Fisher was great in WEDDING CRASHERS but as the trailer progresses, and she squeals with that very same squeal that made her such a draw to CRASHERS in the first place, you begin to sense something is amiss with the whole premise. You see, as we get further with the trailer this becomes a MEET THE PARENTS-esque kind of narrative.

    The parents can’t believe that this crazy woman is now this dude’s fiancé, and vice versa, the quick bon mot tossed about by Isla’s mom asks us all, “Is he black?” Ha-ha, you dirty racist pig.

    Then there’s the lingering shot of Jason’s raw, white ass. He looks like he was being caught for doing something but we’re not given a peek as to why this moment was included as I’m not sure if his new lady friend stumbles upon him, the girl’s black-hating mother or even his creepy friend. I guess it was just inserted to be ribald but whatever.

    We then get treated to the wacky misadventures of getting to know one another, more parental awkwardness, some strange shenanigans while playing charades and I can’t help but feel a little queasy after Biggs shoots his wad, a pocket of toothpaste and saliva in his mouth, all over Isla’s face. I’m sure there are some people who would find that thing exotic or hot but I’m not having any of it. It’s just not amusing.

    If there is one moment, just one moment, that actually feels like something that belongs in a mass-market comedy it is the moment where Isla asks to feel a fellow bus riders’ belly in hopes of finding out how long the woman has been with child. It’s not until Biggs puts his face to the chick’s pooch that we get the line, “I’m not pregnant.” That represents one moment of why I would see the film but that’s just one.

    Like Booger trying to help Lane Meyer out in ONE CRAZY SUMMER, right before Jeremy Piven gets maced, I just can’t assist this trailer in any way.

    YOU KILL ME (2007)

    Director: John Dahl
    Cast: Ben Kingsley, Tea Leoni, Luke Wilson
    Release: June 22, 2007
    Synopsis: Frank Falenczyk (Ben Kingsley) is a man who loves his job. He just happens to be a hit man for his Polish mob family in Buffalo, New York. But Frank’s got a drinking problem and when he messes up a critical assignment that puts the family business in peril, his uncle (Philip Baker Hall) sends him to San Francisco to clean up his act. Played with gruff charm by Kingsley, Frank is not a touchy-feely kind of guy, but things start looking up for him. He gets a job at a mortuary, starts going to AA meetings and falls for Lauren (Téa Leoni), a quirky client he meets at the funeral home. Meanwhile, things aren’t going well in Buffalo where an upstart Irish gang is threatening the family business. When violence erupts, Frank is forced to return home and with an unlikely assist from Lauren, faces old rivals on new terms.

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    Prognosis: Negative. I liked THE MATADOR.

    I realize that this was a flick that not many people were able to see but I can say that those who have saw a film that really tried to meld the axiom of “opposites attract” and pulled it off without it ever feeling terribly hokey. This seems like that kind of film: a mÈlange of situational writing mixed with some absolute absurdness.

    Never minding that two of the greatest character actors working today, the honorable Dennis Farina of Old Style fame and Philip Baker Hall of every crotchety old cop part there ever was, play swift parts in establishing Sir Ben Kingsley’s role as a drunken hit man.

    Regardless of you feelings about the premise on the whole I have to credit in swiftly going through what this story is about, establishing the reason why we’re here in the first place, and even making Ben seem like a funny fellow.

    There is a little bit of warmth in the dude’s ability to seem like a likable hit man even in the opening moments he has with Luke “Perennial Best Friend” Wilson. Forget the easy joke about Kingsley being in San Francisco and the near requisite gay joke but when he enters a funeral home to start his new job as what looks like someone who prepares the decedent prior to the viewing the moment is handled with some aplomb.

    While the narrative of the trailer suffers a bit from this point on, there is an odd moment between Tea Leoni and Ben where I think the two are flirting with one another (couldn’t he be her grandfather?) there is the moment where things come back up again where Ben confesses to his AA group that he in fact an alcoholic”¦and a hit man. Yes, it’s Middle America funny but it works.

    And just like the submarine this trailer is we go back down again where I think Ben actively trains Tea on how to kill someone through a sensi/student kind of relationship. At first I think she protests about what Ben does but then she’s fully complicit in the ways in which Ben murders other people for a living. It doesn’t make sense and that’s part of the problem with the trailer. It feels like it doesn’t know what it wants to be: a funny ha-ha flick or a quasi-comedy with another gay joke tossed in there for good measure.

    I can’t really pinpoint why this trailer just seems to lack any motivating call-to-action about why I should see it but I can say that it really fails to make me believe that Tea would have any romantic inkling for any other dude than one who is of her same age”¦or generation.

    So, barring the love story, what we have here is a film about a hit man trying to go clean and make a go at sober living but, in the end, I don’t think this is going to be any MATADOR. It could be a buddy comedy but I can’t justify anything here that could even be close as to something I would want to pay money to see.

    FIDO (2007)

    Director: Andrew Currie
    Cast:
    Carrie-Ann Moss, Billy Connolly, K’Sun Ray, Henry Czerny, Dylan Baker
    Release: June 15, 2007 (Limited)
    Synopsis: Welcome to Willard, a small town lost in the idyllic world of the 50’s, where the sun shines every day, everybody knows their neighbor, and rotting zombies deliver the mail. Years ago, the earth passed through a cloud of space dust, causing the dead to rise with a craving for human flesh. A war began, pitting the living against the dead. In the ensuing revolution, a corporation was born: ZomCon, who defeated the legions of undead, and domesticated the zombies, making them our industrial workers, our domestic servants – a productive part of society. ZomCon would like the people of Willard to believe they have everything under control… but do they? Timmy Robinson doesn’t think so. At eleven, Timmy already knows the world is phony baloney – Mom and Dad just won’t admit it. Now ZomCon’s head of security has moved in across the street, and Timmy’s Mom refuses to be the only housewife on the block who doesn’t have a zombie of her own. When she brings a zombie servant home, Timmy discovers a new best friend, and names him Fido. And even though Dad has a bad case of zombie-phobia, Timmy is determined to keep Fido, even if he does eat the odd person…

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    Prognosis: Positive. Who would of thought that Billy Connolly would have come so far after being a replacement for Howard Hessman on HEAD OF THE CLASS? Not since Dan Schneider proved to the world that there is life after Ricky in BETTER OFF DEAD has that show produced such talent, you would’ve thought that he sunk everything with that video he made on the show to Timbuk 3’s “The Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades”.

    One of the things that have really taken a foothold in America’s zeitgeist in the last few years is our propensity for and attraction to zombie films. We’ve seen zombies running fast through malls in Zack Snyder’s DAWN OF THE DEAD, we’ve seen “˜em move a little slow but with a beat you can dance to in SHAUN OF THE DEAD and we’ve even seen them remade a couple of times in the 28 WEEKS/DAYS series. What’s been missing, though, has been a real mesh between comedy and abject weirdness.

    I believe this movie is exactly that.

    What’s delightful, and utterly funny, is how things start. Never mind setting things up, people, let’s just get right into things with Ritter from CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER, a film that deserves to be on the low-end of many Best Of acton/thriller lists, with asking a class filled with kids how many of them have ever had to kill a zombie. It’s said with such smoothness that the accompanying image of a zombie, in a requisite belt and shoulder strap get-up, holding a stop sign to halt oncoming traffic so the same kids can safely cross the street is a one two punch. And it works wonderfully to capture you in wondering what the hell is going on.

    “What would we do without our zombies?”

    The voiceover that pipes in isn’t what you would expect to chime in. It’s nice British accent that poses the above question and it’s immediate of what this question is supposed to imply. Sociologically speaking, the zombies have a role of performing all the tasks that no one else wants to do and the bigger picture of what’s been on everyone’s lips in this electoral season couldn’t be clearer. From an entertainment point of view, it’s outrageously effective. These zombies are washing cars, serving food, dropping shit on the floor accidentally, getting yelled at and not making an effort to catch the ball in a game of catch.

    Never before has an embedded song been choicely picked as when The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Sedated” starts up and when we get to the meat of what this movie is about. However, that’s not easily discernable considering that you already have a community that is using zombies as hired help.

    Between the quotes from other outlets who have seen the film there is an issue I have with trying to understand where the problems arise. Where is the crux of the drama that somehow changes this sleepy hollow into something more? Do the zombies end up attacking, turning on their masters?

    I think that between the quotes from others who have seen the film, the absurdity of having the youngest kid in the film taking a shovel to the rotting corpse of a zombie who he is obviously trying to do away with and the make-out session one human has with a member of the dead army is just part and parcel of a film that actually is going to take the recent obsession with zombies to the next level.

    THE KING OF KONG: A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS (2007)

    Director: Seth Gordon
    Cast: Billy Mitchell, Walter Day, Nicole Wiebe and Robert Mruczek
    Release: August 17, 2007
    Synopsis: A middle-school science teacher and a hot sauce mogul vie for the Guinness World Record on the arcade classic, Donkey Kong.

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    Prognosis: Awesome. This has got to be one of the rad-est trailers to ever come down the pike. Ever.

    One of the great things about not having to impress a lot of people with your trailer, the fact that you need to make money is a mere afterthought to what you decide to do with your preview money, is that it leaves the door open to innovative and creative ideas; an idea, then, that I have never really seen, or executed, before is the regressive trailer.

    To feel like this is a movie straight from 1982 is an accomplishment, first of all, but to make the trailer also conform to the short attention spans of those watching these things is an amazement as well.

    One of the first things you recognize, apart from the Fat Boy Slim-like techno drop, and the douche wearing that silly ass puffy yellow trucker hat that was obviously the norm, I’m betting dollars to doughnuts he was also rocking some of those striped socks that were pulled up at calf level, is that the blend between old and new is seamless. From the cheesy synth music to the slick documentary style footage of old guys reflecting on their youthful days as kids whose only ability was to rock a joystick it’s truly engaging.

    I’m a little scared by dudes who sport some mullets, one of them who obviously owns a Remington beard trimmer and a copious amount of Just For Men beard darkening solution, but to hear them be straight-up serious about their sacrificing to be the best at video games is a little bittersweet.

    What’s more is that we move from pathetic to hilariousness when the classical music starts in with the scroll that tells us that there is a Donkey Kong record that has stood unchallenged for 20 years and that this is really a movie about Dweeb vs. Dweeb.

    The comedy that is these two dudes, one who should have found a more productive hobby in life in order to find a modicum of fame and another who should just cut that Goddamn mullet off his head, are going head to head in a race against”¦well, nothing really.

    This trailer is just a good time, flat out. It makes me want to spend my money to see it, it stirs up that good ol’ nostalgia of when I was a wee lad and all I had was an Intellivision, and it surely ends on a note that not even I could have seen coming. It’s the perfect storm of idiocy and the notion that this could be a breezy way to pass 90 minutes; in an era where things can get self-indulgent real fast this is a welcome addition to the summer.

  • Trailer Park: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    It’s just nice to talk to someone who has a firm grasp on things.

    Mary Elizabeth Winstead is starring as Lucy McClane, all grown up and ready to become a target for Timothy Olyphant’s crazed masterplan, and is heading into summer that has already seen her starring in Quentin Tarantino’s GRINDHOUSE and now she’s a part of a franchise that has earned Fox hundreds of millions of dollars as one of the most financially profitable film franchises in action movie history.

    Much could be made of the tabloid exposure surrounding Bruce Willis’ personal life or how the filmmakers have decided that PG-13 is the way John McClain will be coming into your life but, at the center of it all, there is an actress who is just stepping onto fresh ground as she tries to do her job, and do it well, with those same millions at stake. If she felt any kind of pressure to perform better than usual or is still reeling from being thrust into world of wire cable stunts and maximum violence you won’t be able to read in between the lines here. What does come into view, though, is that Mary has one of the most insightful heads on her shoulders of all her peers even after weathering the Internet scorn of hundreds who think that Yippie Kai-Yay should be followed with a few explicatives and that Death Proof wasn’t as good as Planet Terror.

    To hear Elizabeth say it, there’s just too much to be learned when you’re on the set of a big budget bonanza like LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD but there is something to be learned regardless. When you hear of other young actors unable to conform to simply arriving on the set on time Mary just thinks about the part as any other person should: a job. A job that could or could not be there soon after the director has said cut or just as the confetti at last week’s premiere at Radio City Music Hall has been swept away. Mary has nothing to be worried about, however, as she starts work on her leading role in MAKE IT HAPPEN, set to start filming later this summer.

    Her role as Lucy McClane can be seen in LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, which opened on Wednesday.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: The more I read about your part as Lucy McClane the more I hear that your part was on the verge of not even being part of the movie. What changed?

    MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD: I’m not really sure. I know that there were some people who really against having that character in the film and then there were a couple of people, including the director, and a couple of the writers who really pushed for there being some family member in peril; that’s what McClane’s about. He’s not necessarily about saving the world. He’s about saving his family, his loved ones, so if you don’t have that then what’s he doing? I also know Len Wiseman really pushed for the character to be in there and”¦I’m glad he did.

    [Laughs]

    I got a job.

    STIPP: And that job, if numbers are to be believed, made you a part of a billion dollar franchise. While you were making this project what made you realize this wasn’t your average independent feature?

    WINSTEAD: It was entirely different for me”¦just the whole feel of the set was intimidating. It just felt like this was a big movie. There was so much going on all the time and also there wasn’t that sense, like on a smaller movie, that kind of intense pressure to get it done, get it done on time and get it in a small number of takes. Whereas this felt like we’ve got all the time in the world. “Let’s make it perfect if it takes forever.” There was pressure to get everything right but not so much the time crunch pressure.

    There were a lot of days of just hanging out in the trailer, hanging out on set and maybe not even shooting anything until the very last hour of the day. It was a very different environment.

    STIPP: I would’ve guessed the exact opposite considering that there was a finite date you had to get this movie out by, July 4th, and even then the movie is opening earlier than originally intended.

    WINSTEAD: You would think so but it all worked out. They did it. At times it didn’t seem like anything was getting done because it was such a slow process, like when you have all these action sequences mapped out and if anybody thinks something’s off then”¦you’ve to go home and rethink it. You just can’t change one piece because then everything else falls apart. It was definitely an interesting process to watch.

    STIPP: Bruce mentioned this film having a more old-school stunt kind of feel to it. Were you privy to see how Len went about pulling this off?

    WINSTEAD: Yeah. I wish I had been there for some of the bigger sequences. I know I didn’t get to be around the bigger stunts because I was in the smaller parts because in the movie I’m kidnapped and trapped in a small space. But really it was so cool to see him in action and see how he works. He really pays attention to every detail and he really liked to make sure that everything that happened in the movie, and every decision was made, every move, was something John McClane would do.

    STIPP: And of course, now that I’m thinking about it, what kind of discussion nowadays would be complete if we didn’t discuss how that feeds into Internet nerds crying fowl over the fact that the movie is PG-13.

    WINSTEAD: Right.

    STIPP: A lot of people, who were probably all dudes in their teens and early 20’s, got real heated over this.

    WINSTEAD: You know, I understand”¦part of the initial appeal of DIE HARD was that kind of edge that it had to it. Where it was almost un-P.C. in a way, this character who would say things and do things that were almost shocking, heroic in a way. But I think that he still has that. He still says things that shock you a little bit. And there’s even a scene where he and Maggie Q are fighting to the death”¦and watching him beat this woman”¦

    [I laugh]

    It’s not a fluffy thing. It’s kind of hard to watch. You’re going, “Wow, this is kind of intense. I’m not sure if I should even be rooting for him at this moment.” He’s beating up a girl. You have to take a moment and wonder if it’s something that’s really P.C. So I feel like that’s all something that’s kind of in the DIE HARD spirit. John McClane is going to do whatever he’s got to do to protect his family and it works. For the people who have seen it, even though it’s PG-13, they’re saying, “I get it. I get it.” You can still make this kind of movie without the F-bomb. And that’s all that’s missing, really, to me. He just doesn’t swear as much. For me, that doesn’t take anything away from the film because I’m not sitting there going, “Man, he should’ve used the F-word! It would’ve been so much better!” You just don’t think of it that way.

    STIPP: Even Willis decided to drop your name in an interview recently. To quote Willis: “Mary Elizabeth Winstead really did her homework on the character, and not only shows up with that kind of “˜fuck you’ attitude, she gets some laughs with it.” I’m curious to know”¦did you really show up and bring it with that “˜fuck you’ attitude?

    [Laughs]

    WINSTEAD: I was really”¦I was cast at the last minute. I didn’t even really meet anyone beforehand: Len, Bruce or anybody. I was just sort of cast from a tape. I went in and saw the casting director months beforehand and suddenly they had seen some of my work and decided they wanted me for the role but I really didn’t know what they wanted. The script was very different from when I initially auditioned. The character was very different and it was a much bigger part. I was unsure of what they saw in me, it was a different casting process, but I knew that I couldn’t be some whiny, teenage daughter. It would have been really uninteresting.

    I went back and watched all the other films. I just paid attention to Bruce’s mannerisms and that kind of Jersey attitude and the way he talks and moves. And his smirk, that sparkle in his eye. I knew I couldn’t do all of that. I couldn’t be John McClane but I thought it would be pretty cool if I could incorporate some of that into this young girl character and give her some of that tough, wise-ass attitude. I tried to do what I could.

    It’s cool if people notice it because it wasn’t something that we talked about too much beforehand but it’s cool that it came out that way.

    STIPP: When you went back to watch the movies”¦much in the same way that there were popular folk heroes of the 19th century”¦What has made John McClane, the impetus for so many rip-offs in the 90’s, such an endearing and enduring character in action movies?

    WINSTEAD: There’s just something so entertaining about a character that he created. I think part of it is that he’s the reluctant hero and that, while he’s in the midst of everything, is just really angry that he’s having to save the day, that he’s having to take care of people, that he’s having to kill people. He wasn’t born to do that. It’s not his job but he’s put into this position where no one else is doing it and he has to step up. I also think there’s something entertaining about watching this hero that’s sort of hating it all along the way. Being a wise-ass”¦it’s just a more real character than the typical heroes that we see in action films who are so perfect and they always seem to be bouncing back effortlessly but when he gets knocked down it’s really hard for him to get back up. You can see his pain and you can see, even in this one, he’s getting older and it’s getting more difficult. You see all that and it kind of makes you root for him even more.

    STIPP: The learning process on the set. I have to assume that this being one of the biggest films you’ve ever done, and there are some actresses who get soured on the big budget blockbuster once they do them, but what did you take away from the experience.

    WINSTEAD:
    It was kind of overwhelming while I was in it.

    I didn’t see the big picture of it all. I was focused on doing my job and trying to do it well because there was so much more happening on that film than I even understood. It was kind of outside of my realm of understanding. I just had my little part to do and do it well and that was really all I could focus on. Now that I’ve stepped away from it and I’m part of this great”¦huge”¦film that everybody is really loving and going to the premiere and seeing the reactions of the fans and how much they love it and how sort of proud they were to be a part of the premiere. It’s just so amazing to be a part of a film that reaches so many people and excites them so I definitely would love to continue to do a movie every now and then that’s of that kind of stature and scale because it really is an amazing feeling when you get to step back and see what kind of big deal it is.

    STIPP: Did Bruce impart anything worthwhile that you could apply to your own acting?

    WINSTEAD: Watching him work was amazing to me because he’s incredibly subtle but it seems so much when you watch him on the screen. He’s so charismatic and it conveys so much with just the look in his eyes and that little smirk on his face”¦that sort of deadpan delivery. It’s amazing how effortless it is for him. And then, at the premiere, he would give these small tidbits of knowledge and wisdom. I was really overwhelmed, all I could do was take deep breaths and just say “This is insane”, and he just kept telling me to just take it in and appreciate it because you never know when you’re going to get another experience quite like that”¦and go back to your normal life the next day and you’re going to look back and think, “Wow, I was just at one of the biggest premieres at Radio City Music Hall.”

    He’s just a really cool, laidback guy. He doesn’t try to impress himself on to you, try to tell you what you should do with your career, how you should behave but it was nice to be around him, be in awe of him at all times.

    STIPP: It’s been a busy year for you with not only this but with GRINDHOUSE as well and has it informed your sense of how you want to take your career, going forward?

    WINSTEAD: Yeah. I’ve just been having such a great time sort of playing these supporting roles in these great films where I get to be completely different. I’m just been so appreciative that I’ve had these kind of little nuggets of just really fun, interesting roles to play. I just want to do that as much as I can, find my way onto more great sets. GRINDHOUSE was one of the greatest experiences ever, just to be on the set with Quentin Tarantino who’s the most enthusiastic, joyous person to work with”¦and to see his child-like excitement about being on set and making a movie”¦I just kind of want that same thing. Just to have as much fun as possible and work.

    STIPP: How are you handling, then, the preparations as the leading lady for your next film, MAKE IT HAPPEN?

    WINSTEAD: It was a character that I was really drawn to”¦being from the dance world myself. Being able to play a dancer was really exciting for me and I feel like a lot of the dance movies that have come out in the last 10 years, not all, but some of them have been airy, sweet and simple. I’m just hoping to bring a more realistic edge to the character and show the more real-life”¦things that happen when you’re trying to become a dancer. My sister is a professional dancer and I used to be a dancer for a lot of my life and it’s really a tough life to live. I just want to show the less sweet side to it even though it will be a classic dance movie, a feel good girl movie. But I think we give it a little more interesting edge to it as well. It’s a challenge I’m taking on and I’ll see whether I can run with it.

    STIPP: I was kind of surprised to see that one of your aspirations was to do a romantic comedy. Not surprise as if it’s a bad thing but you usually hear the words “art film” or “passion project” when you ask an actress what she’d like to do, going forward.

    WINSTEAD: I think it would be a lot of fun. I also think it’s a lot more challenging than people would think. That’s why it’s really hard to find a really good romantic comedy because it’s really hard. A lot of great actors have a hard time doing that because there’s so much that goes into chemistry and comedic timing and I really kind of want to hone my skills as a comedic actress because I really admire that kind of performing.

    And I’d really like to do a great art film but I don’t necessarily think that they’re all that great. Just because something is independent and dark and twisted does it make a good film. I’m not going to search out those kind of films”¦I’m going to search out films that are well written, well-crafted and that have interesting characters.

  • Trailer Park: 1 Year Later at Quick Stop Entertainment

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here”¦

    About a year ago I was in this space, introducing myself all over again to a batch of readers both new and old. There was a time between when Movie Poop Shoot.com ceased to be and when Quick Stop Entertainment.com took its place. It was an odd time, scraping one site entirely to make way for a new one, but I just went with it, thinking that there just had to be better things around the proverbial corner.

    I couldn’t have been more right.

    It wasn’t that Movie Poop Shoot needed to be torn down to bring up Quick Stop in its place because I can’t be more proud or happy about the kind of work that was churned out on a daily basis. I can’t speak for my own writing but I know that of the authors there who had a weekly presence I felt a sense of innate satisfaction that was once a joke in a movie had metamorphosed into an Internet juggernaut that challenged everyone’s sensibilities and assumptions about what you were going to get when you visited a site with the word “poop” in it; to be perfectly honest there was that issue to contend with on any given day.

    My world of part-time movie trailer critiquing took a sharp left turn when I thought that broadening the column’s purview could yield some interesting fruit if I took a unique angle on the interview process. When I started out doing it I wasn’t interested in the people out to promote things that were about to hit within the week, I was more interested in those who were in the process of creating, getting some kind of insight into why someone’s movie was going to be good. So, I dipped my toe in it and found I could do it. All modesty aside, it’s still up for debate whether I’m any good at it. The point is, though, I’ve always wanted to keep this column evolving and when Quick Stop started a year ago I really made a concerted effort to try and enhance what I brought to the table. I hustled, I called, I made appointments, I endured the weekly ignoring by publicists (and unless you’re one of the one’s who’ve actually returned an e-mail or phone call, you’re all rotten little people who’ve got no grip on being human and are all suffering from a lack of sexual satisfaction in your personal lives) and agents alike, no person was above giving me the Heisman.

    Herr EIC, Ken Plume, has been an instrumental key in making these problems a little less than mere quibbles. He’s had an enormous amount of experience in the cold shoulder business and has been a rock when I’ve needed to be convinced that flying to LA and strapping C4 to some flunky’s face was not an acceptable response to being told we’re just not the right kind of outlet for an actor to appear on and then have them pop up elsewhere on a shitageously inferior site.

    That’s the other thing, too.

    Ken has been grand about instilling a sense of purpose in what I’ve done in this space. I know what happens here will never change the world in any meaningful way, that because I run interviews with people who have projects none of you will ever watch I should still do it anyway because of what it could mean later on and I know, without any kind of doubt, he’s been right about thinking that it’s their loss as well when all I get is static on the other end of the line. For a good example of how we dealt with Fox and everyone else who let me know that they were going to be in desperate need of publicity when BORAT was getting its geek premiere last July at Comic-Con. I mean, to put this in greater perspective, I was one of the first to ever give this movie a resoundingly positive review months before its release but it was all for naught when lamer heads prevailed and Fox ordered a press blackout of sorts, Rolling Stone did an excellent piece on Sacha Cohen when the great comedic wave was crashing all around the public sphere, and we did what anyone else who were jilted would do: we did our own thing without their help. 10 Quick Questions was born out of this and it’s, perhaps, one of the greatest interviews I never had the chance to do. Since then we’ve grown the format a little bit more here and there but I still love the piece on the whole and I’m sure you would agree after you read this:

    KEN PLUME: Do you have any comment at all about Bruno, an individual who has just scored a 42 million dollar paycheck from Universal, is going to be developing a movie based on a show that looks suspiciously close to what you do?

    BORAT:

    borat-02.jpg

    KEN PLUME: And, a follow-up, how do you feel about Austrians in general?

    BORAT:

    borat-02.jpg

    KEN PLUME: Your English is remarkably polished for a man that comes from a country where formal education doesn’t seem to be a priority. How did you get a grip on the basic Anglo particulars of the world outside of a totalitarian regime?

    BORAT:

    borat-02.jpg

    KEN PLUME: Some people have leveled some pretty serious allegations that your quest across America has shown a lot of your subjects to be poor representations of Americans in general and that you purposely selected targets to get the greatest comedic reaction. How do respond to that?

    BORAT:

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    KEN PLUME: Looking at the movie now what do you think is the starkest realization you can make about what this film represents?

    BORAT:

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    KEN PLUME: What was like trying to convince Larry Charles to go along with you on this journey of yours and was there any hesitation on his part to get involved in this production?

    BORAT:

    borat-02.jpg

    KEN PLUME: What kind of frustrations did you have to overcome in order to be able shoot the kind of film you wanted with the money you had and was there any give-and-take with managing your needs with the needs of the studio?

    BORAT:

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    KEN PLUME: Why do you think people, even I, are having a visceral reaction to this film’s material in general?

    BORAT:

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    KEN PLUME: I am amazed by the groundswell of interest this movie has garnered as the film’s release date has come closer but do you think that your job, as an artist, is to simply reflect what you see or was there a germ in your mind about what you suspected you’d find when you plotted this film’s progression from pre-production to post?

    BORAT:

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    KEN PLUME: Kazakhstan is situated right above Uzbekistan, the site for one of the bloodiest anti-government protests in Central Asia, hundreds of innocent people literally mowed down by government forces as the nation’s dictator, Islam Karimov, gave the directive to do so. Uzbekistan is enjoying the benefits of working with the United States by allowing detainees to be “interrogated” and “questioned,” and no doubt tortured, on Uzbek soil. Do you think Kazakhstan has the huevos to step up, do what’s right, one-up those Uzbekian lightweights and show them what oppression really means?

    BORAT:

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    ##We’d like to thank Fox Online Publicity for all of their help in setting up this interview.

    ##

    Just unmitigated magic right there, kids. Never let it be said I don’t have it in me to take the piss out of a situation every now and then.

    As well, there are some legitimate interviews who have really helped make this first year at Quick Stop worth all the effort I put into it on a weekly basis. Two people, actually, come to my mind as those who embody the essence of the conversational style in which I conduct my interviews: Darren Aronofsky and Andy Dick. The two couldn’t be more diametrically different from one another but if you were to look at the substance of each interview you could see that the thing I desperately try to do with every interview is keep it conversational. No, I don’t care about finding out gossipy bullshit. No, I don’t really care to know their stance on human rights in China. No, I could care less about what any individual does with their money. What matters, though, and this is key, is I start every interview with a genuine interest in the person and in the work itself. From there, I have a sheet of notes and pointers but everything is based by the sentence that has come before it. There’s nothing worse, and I am guilty of it, than shoehorning your question into a conversation. It should float to the surface naturally, on its own, and if you’ve done your work beforehand there are ways of making sure it slides in without a bump in speech.

    From Andy Dick, then, there was a comment I made about the way in which his comedy comes off in general and of what people have come to ask of the man who, publicly, has been seen as a live wire:

    CS: And people expect a certain kind of “Dickness,” if I may say so, and”¦

    DICK: Yeah! They expect a certain vulgarity, a certain clowny goofiness but, to be honest with you, my roots are in grounded subtlety. My comedy roots really, believe it or not, are in grounded, subtle, almost sweet, and precious, comedy moments that are very real. Like Bob Newhart, Shelley Berman, Mike Nichols and Elaine May. I was trained at Second City and ImprovOlympic where the motto is, “Truth in Comedy.” The comedy there was very grounded in reality.

    I was just recording an episode of the Simpsons yesterday, playing myself. They said to me”¦I just have one line”¦and I just basically am Andy Dick trying to fit into the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and my line is, “Oh, I’m blue collar, I’m totally blue collar, my dad owns a shovel.” And I did it just like that. Really quiet. And they went, “Um, ok. Bigger! You can’t be too big in a cartoon.” And I’m like, “Ok. I’m blue collar. I’m TOTALLY blue collar, my dad owns a SHOVEL!”

    They’re like, “Really Andy Dick it up! Andy Dick it up! Bigger!”

    “I’M BLUE COLLAR. I’M TOTALLY BLUE COLLAR, MY DAD OWNS A SHOVEL!”

    And they’re like, “We love it.” What happens is the media, the people, the producers, the directors, the industry, the town, the audience, pushes you, pushes you, pushes you to be bigger, bigger, bigger. It’s up to the actor or the artist to say, “You know what? This is all you’re getting. Because this is how I want to be. This is how I want the character to be. This is all you’re getting.”

    And that’s why, a lot of the times, the big actors are so great”¦they’re so subtle. But sometimes it’s just because being big or being excitable is not in their repertoire. They’re just too cool for school. But, other times, it’s because they’re great actors and they’re making a conscious choice to keep it real and keep it subtle. Once “the guys upstairs” see that you can do the big stuff they don’t want you to be subtle. They just want you to be big, loud and goofy.

    I was watching Robin Williams last night on Leno. He started off funny and manic and he got more and more manic until, by the end, he was screaming so much and so loud that he popped his throat. You could hear that he hurt his vocal chords.

    CS: God”¦

    DICK: That’s what happens. The audience laughs at your manic-ness and they’re going to stop laughing unless you up the ante and go even more crazy and that’s a trap we fall into as comedians. We’re so desperate to get that laugh that we’ll just keep screaming louder, dancing harder and faster until we’re sweating and panting with blisters on our feet and vocal chords. Yeah, it’s a problem that I have.

    ###

    This interview has always stayed with me because I cannot look at the man and not think back to when he told me this about what other people in power want from him. He has to do it because it pays the bills but it’s just unbelievingly frank and open talk like this that makes all the transcribing of audio after the interview is done, worthwhile. I may not catch these things on the fly but uncovering these gems are a blessing when you get them.

    So, too, then with the crowning achievement this past year with one of the best, and again, no superlative bullcrap aside, written, acted and directed movies in the past decade. Only given fifteen minutes from Darren, where nearly a year before I was laughed off the phone when he made the rounds to tell people how the editing was going, and I tried to be one of the sites to get some phone time with the man as the words “poop shoot” surely sunk my chances of that happening, when the film finally came out I still hang my writing hat on those little minutes. To hear Darren speak about his work so casually, to not have any front of being the kind of auteur that could probably afford to do so, you start to admire the guy’s sheer tenacity as an individual, as a person, to stay with a project long after he could have easily given it up with nary any person denying that he every right to do so. He’s just a person who wanted to do something and he’s a person who believes in the idea that death is something a lot of people in the western world would just care not to deal with. His comments about what the movie, at its core, means just sum up why it is that I am one of the luckiest people to be here writing for this site:

    STIPP: Do you think”¦myself I have two daughters, and it wasn’t until I had them when I started to feel pings of my own mortality. I’m scared to do a lot of things and I think I have a problem with death. As you were working on this did you find that, as a society, we have a problem with death? With talking about it, accepting it?

    ARONOFSKY: I think we’ve completely hidden it”¦Ignore it and face it with complete hubris even though it’s going to win. Eventually it wins over everyone.

    We just completely deny it.

    That was the interesting thing”¦When me and Rachel and Hugh would go to these hospices we would meet these caretakers and doctors and they would all say something astounding which was a lot of these young people when they got closer to death”¦something amazing started to happen to them; something similar [to what happens] to Izzie in the sense that they started to see something infinite in the finite reality in front of them but they had no vocabulary to talk about it. They had no way of explaining of what was going on because there’s just no education, and there’s no spiritual support structure in the west to help us with it.

    So, as they’re going down this path the ironic thing is that the families, who are healthy, are so indoctrinated into western medicine and science are like, “You’ve got to fight. You’ve got to keep fighting. You’ve got to fight.”

    Even when, at a certain point, there is no more of a fight. It’s over.

    And that’s the line that’s really hard; it’s when it’s ok to let go because, ultimately, it IS ok to let go because eventually we’re all going to die. But a lot of these people, a lot of these families, become really really tough and what happens, the tragedy of it all, that the person who’s dying actually dies in a much more lonely place because they can’t at all communicate with their families. And THAT, to me was the tragedy. That informed the whole plot of the film.

    In THE FOUNTAIN you have Izzie who is actually approaching some type of understanding and trying to reach her husband who is just doing the typical, normal response of like, “No, I’m going to solve this problem. I’m going to fix it and you’ve got to keep fighting.”

    So, I think in the west right now we’re completely cut off from having any type of tool or any way of understanding that what makes us human and what makes us alive is that we will die and mortality is actually a part of our humanity”¦and that dying can actually be a part of our spiritual path.

    [Darren smiles]

    How about that? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

    ###

    Darren was just affable in ways that defy common US Weekly logic but make perfect sense in this realm here: we’re all just people. Some celebutards would have you believe it is all about the money and the glitz and the horrible stories about how wonderful it was to work with this or that person. At the core of it all, none of that matters but what can matter is how one person’s art, diffused through their personality, means something to them.

    I toil in these things called interviews and I’m happy that I have one of the best gigs going as a reviewer of movie trailers but it’s every one of you out there who point and click that make it worthwhile and it’s the support of Ken Plume and everything that he’s done this year to try and make this a place worth visiting every day that just keep me coming back every week, regardless of how much I am positive there is no one reading this column judging by the lack of reader mail, to bring you my thoughts on the matter.

    So, Happy 1st Anniversary, Quick Stop. May the publicists be friendlier this year, may the interview subjects be more plentiful and may God help me to try and land that one person from the thing from that film that’s opening next week which may or may not end up being huge…

  • 10 Quick Questions: Jim Mahfood

    10quickquestions.jpg

    by Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Note Bene: I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first novel I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or an order for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE. [With a cover drawn by Jim Mahfood]

    I hated history.

    Really, I was homogeneously unable to follow the whole ethos of “those who cannot remember the past somethin’ somethin’ or another” but there was one of only a few things that has always stayed with me since 7th grade World History class: the de’ Medicis.

    While I’ll keep the Cliff’s Notes version here brief it is important for the reading of this interview to see that the actions of a once powerful family that lived and reigned around Florence, Italy, around the 13th century and ruled well into the 15th, helped to flood Renaissance art into the streets of that boot-shaped land. They were well-known for a lot of artistic sponsorships, money was no issue for an artist with a whim and a financial need, and it’s something that I’ve always hoped to young talents within the comic book industry, with Mahfood being a recipient of some kind to help keep the man’s art churning out into the world.

    You see eggheads get the MacArthur “Genius” grant, a free $500,000 to keep on keepin’ on with your artistic bad ass self, but you never see it bestowed on artisans who choose to toil in the folk art of comic books. I’ve always equated those who possess the ability to transcend the mundane and static into something that can resonate with the human spirit with those who possess a tuning fork for the souls of the rest of us but, unfortunately, bigger eggheads with even bigger checkbooks deem otherwise.

    So, that brings us to Jim. An accomplished comic book artist and writer who has a penchant for the askew and whose work is infused with the kind of black and white punch that’s usually reserved for those who have thousands of colors within their artistic quill. His work is funny. It can make you laugh with the absurdity that it sometimes espouses but when Mahfood suggests that more cool people get together to help offset all the straight-lace, right-wingers who seem to be repopulating at bunny-like proportions there is a thin line of truth in the sentiment that you cannot deny.

    His work can get political. A weekly contributor to Phoenix’s New Times magazine Jim can take a hot-button topic, peel it back, and get to the quick about what’s really at issue in the community on any given day. He hits more than he misses and, even when he does, it’s just comforting to know that the man who pioneered Smoke Dog and Zombie Kid can still rock the political mic more consistently than the constituents who suppose their elected overlords are doing everything “in their best interest.”

    The man who took pity on a lowly novelist who needed a great cover and didn’t want anyone else to create it but him, Jim Mahfood was a class act who laid it out and helped me put a tight cover to my first book. There’s a lot to be said about fanboys but there’s something else entirely to owning mass quantities of one person’s work and just hoping that there could be something you could do someday to say thanks. In a way, being able to interview Jim last year during Comic-Con was a way for me to delve deeper into the reasons why I dig the man’s work so much and, as I hope you see, there’s a real sense of humor, of perspective and drive that hopefully ensures he’s the premiere black and white funkmaster of the comic book scene.

    Sure, he can keep going on his own but isn’t there a wealthy family out there that can help this man save the world, one live art event at a time?

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: How many “˜Cons does this make for you?

    JIM MAHFOOD: Probably”¦ Probably over a lot. A lot of “˜Cons. 50 or so”¦ I’ve been doing them for about almost 10 years. I do about 5 to 6 a year. It’s starting to wear, the wear and tear is getting to me. I mean, they’re great, San Diego is great but”¦5 days? 5 days is way too long. The other shows, like Chicago, are 3 days and that’s cool; see everybody, you’re in you’re out, you make your money but this is a little obnoxious. However, it’s only once a year so”¦

    STIPP: But you’re on the front lines selling your own stuff. There’s a little bit of excitement, I could be way wrong, but you’re the one who’s written and drawn your work and here you are, selling to the public. Like the modern day DJ who’s selling their mix CDs out of the back of their trunk. Is that the way you want to keep it or do you have designs of someday hooking up with a big corporation like a DC or Marvel and have a cush gig just sitting at well-manicured tables for an hour or so just signing things?

    MAHFOOD: Well, they don’t have the balls to do anything fun or cool or interesting, I think. Their stuff is OK but I’ve just been on my own, doing my own thing because I have complete control over it; I get to write it, draw it, design it, the way I want and I’ve always been attracted to art and music that’s been driven by one single person.

    Like, my favorite musicians and DJs are the guys who write, produce and perform their own music and my favorite artists are the guys who have their own distinct stamp or style like, for example, Crumb or Mignola or Scott Morse. And I think that’s what’s selling this stuff, like the things that they do, what I do, is almost like a brand. The style is the brand. “Oh, I recognize your style,” that’s the kind of thing people say. They aren’t like, “Oh, your Spider-Man is cool.” What they’re saying is, “I like what *you* do.” “I like your vision, your writing, etc”¦” And that’s reflective of my own tastes and personality and sensibility. Certain people are attracted to that and some aren’t but that’s just the kind of art that I’m attracted to: people who have a voice and have something to say.


    Unique. Uniqueness is key. Like I will never be the greatest artist of all time, the best storyteller or have the best layouts but that doesn’t matter to me. What matters is being unique. Just being an individual and not drawing like anyone else is what matters. That’s what I’m trying to do.

    STIPP: Who are your peers that you look toward for inspiration?

    MAHFOOD: Definitely my whole crew of buddies that I do art with like Scott Morse, Dave Crosland, Mike Huddleston, Jose Garibaldi“¦I grew up loving Ninja Turtles when it first came out, it was so different. Crumb stuff, the Hernandez Brothers, Jamie Hewlett who did Tank Girl and all the Gorillaz artwork, just guys who their own unique thing that they alone do.

    I’ve never really been into mainstream superhero artists not because those that are working on them are bad artists”¦it just doesn’t strike me. I like things that make you go, “Wow, that’s different.”

    STIPP: How are you evolving as an artist? I just finished your Classic 40oz. One thing I noticed about your work years ago was how sharp the artwork was. Not just in the ephemeral sense but, quite literally, the drawings had a tight attention to detail. And now, when you look at your work there is a looseness, a roundish feel, to what you’re doing. Is that something you’re consciously thinking about?

    MAHFOOD: Yeah, but it’s also something that unconsciously evolves on its own, too. The more you do it, you hope, the better you get and things start to work themselves out but, yeah, I definitely consciously started going”¦going from portraiture kinds of things to straight up Peanuts style. Where the drawings of me and my friends have round heads and little arms and little legs because I think it looks funnier, for one, and also I don’t take myself seriously enough to do realistic portrait work of me and my friends; it would be too weird.

    So, I went and depicted them as these cute little cartoon characters, kind of like as buffoons. It’s cartoony and it’s supposed to be funny. And that’s one of the main things about my work, I am a huge fan of comedy and humor and I try to put comedy and humor into everything I do. I don’t think I could ever do a serious, hardcore detective book or a serious western”¦I mean it’s cool, it’s interesting, but, for me, I just don’t take myself, in my heart, seriously enough to do those sorts of things. I just like humor. I like to make people smile or chuckle. The world is depressing enough as it is but with my art I want people to be, “Oh, that’s interesting”¦It’s funny”¦It has something to say.”

    STIPP: On that same token, I like what you’re doing with the weekly space you’re being given every week in the Phoenix New Times. It’s very political in a way; whatever issue is brewing within Phoenix’s border that week you somehow spin it into something amusing or thought-provoking.
    MAHFOOD: Yeah, totally.

    The weekly is more of an exercise because, since it’s a weekly, I have to throw out an idea every week”¦the idea and the art are done really quickly. I spend about an hour on them. I do them”¦right before they’re due and it’s more like an exercise of, “Here’s something that’s going on and here’s me commenting on it.” It’s literally supposed to be read within five seconds. The art isn’t that detailed because they don’t print them that big and the people who happen to land on that Letters page just glance through it and it’s just gotten to the point that instead of drawing intricate word balloons and lots of dialogue it’s simply five panels and, “Ah, yeah, funny.”

    If you look at these things from the beginning there’s like 10 panels, whole lots of word balloons, it’s all very heavy diatribes but now, for me, it’s a looser idea of, “Let’s put out 10 ideas instead of one really detailed, convoluted, idea.” And there’s so much to comment on nowadays.

    STIPP: How do you keep up with what’s happening in Phoenix if you don’t really live there anymore?

    MAHFOOD: I live in LA and do the local Phoenix weekly, yeah. I just go to the Phoenix New Times.com and just read up on Phoenix news. I’m also good friends with the editor there and she will sometimes just hit me up like, “Would you mind, you should consider having your comic be about this hot topic right now.” She’ll send me the info, I’ll read it and I’ll comment about it.

    It’s not heavily researched at all. It’s just me reacting to it. It’s like, here’s this fucked up story about the Phoenix cops and here’s me reacting to it. But it’s cool, man, because it was really challenging in the beginning but now I’m getting used to it and I really enjoy having a weekly because it keeps me on my toes. I’ve never done one before and every week it’s a new idea that gets put out there. Like, if one of them isn’t funny, or it doesn’t work very well, it doesn’t matter because I’ll have another chance next week. So, it’s almost like a safety net because every week I don’t have to blow people’s minds because the next week I can compensate for it”¦.Which”¦.may be a very bad way of looking at it.

    (Laughs)

    STIPP: Are you finding some political satisfaction in taking a stance every week for the people to interpret?

    MAHFOOD: Oh yeah. I’ve always wanted to do that. I’ve always been a huge fan since I was a little kid of political satire in a cartoon-y format. Huge fan of Mad Magazine, Cracked, Saturday Night Live, HUGE fan of Bloom County the comic strip…Opus, Bill the Cat”¦huge fan of all that stuff.

    The thing is”¦I’m not that smart or that politically savvy. I don’t watch CNN. I don’t really read the paper but I have an overall idea of all the crazy shit that’s going on and I feel like I am able to comment about it because it’s me writing, drawing and doing it all. People might think I’m crazy or they might agree with me so either way”¦It’s something I really enjoy. I couldn’t imagine doing art and not having a comment on the world and society we live in.

    Like, in art school, in illustration class, we had to do shit like paint a shampoo bottle, photo realistically. Exercises like that always drove me crazy because I knew I would never use that in my artistic life. I just could never imagine being just an illustrator”¦illustrating cars or something. For me, it’s always been like, “There has to be a message in it”¦there has to be substance in it”¦there has to be more than just this surface bullshit.” There has to be some substance to it. There has to be something that draws people in and I think that might be one of the selling points to my art: the fan base that I have seem to be interested in the overall picture of, “I dig your art”¦but I also kind of dig the ideas and the humor and the writing”¦I kind of dig your whole vibe.” And, so, that’s what I’ve tried to establish. These are my books, this is my world and it’s not based on anything else.

    It’s my funky version of the world.

    STIPP: Do you ever question yourself?

    MAHFOOD: Oh yeah. All the time. I sometimes think I’m just a huge hack. But something will happen where I do a piece, I’ll do a live art thing or a Stupid Comic and it’ll kind of gel and I’ll look at it the next day and go, “Oh, I’m kind of happy with that.”

    The other thing, too, is, looking back, which I hate to do, I hate anything I’ve done that’s over a year old, when I look back at my old stuff the only good thing about doing that is that it lets me know I’ve evolved and that I’m better now. Because I really am trying to evolve the art style, the drawing, and trying to push it, trying to push the design, the compositions of it, just by hanging out with guys, real bad asses, like Scott and Mike Huddleston. If you’re an artist and you surround yourself with guys who are better than you, you just learn and absorb from them. You borrow from them. Like, I used to hang out at Scott’s studio when he lived there in LA. I would just go there and see what he was working on, watch him work, and borrow and absorb what he was doing. Not steal it, take it and apply it to my style and do it differently. It’s like if you’re a DJ and you sample. Don’t just lift and sample the most obvious drum beat”¦go dig into the weird, obscure shit. Take it and make it into something really exciting.

    STIPP: What is it about music that seems to be infused within your artwork?

    MAHFOOD: Just like the attitude and the feeling of the music. I get a really specific feeling and attitude feeling towards things like hip-hop and hip-hop culture and funk and jazz. It has a particular rhythm and vibe that it gives off to me. I was around it ever since I was a kid. Like my mom raised us on records. She was always playing records like Michael Jackson, Earth, Wind and Fire and also like rock n’ roll, Neil Diamond and Queen”¦it’s just always been”¦I’ve always just sat in my room and drawn and listened to music. I never really watched TV and drew, I’ve never had talk radio on”¦I’ve just always out on music as a kid, locked myself in my room, and drew. And it became a soundtrack to what I was drawing. If I was angry, or doing something aggressive, I’d put on punk rock or if I was doing something more inspired I’d put on hip-hop. Music always has intrigued and fascinated me. So, I’ve tried to develop a visual style that conveys my reaction to music and”¦it might work and it might not work.

    And the live art, the live art is a literal reaction to music because we are literally painting and drawing what we’re feeling while the music is going on, loud as fuck, pumping through our bodies, our eardrums, like when Scott and I paint live we don’t talk about what we’re going to do, we don’t plan it out. We just go up and we do it. It just comes out, it’s like an exorcism”¦and it’s like this subconscious, crazy shit just comes out and when a piece is done sometimes you step back and it’s like, “Whoa. Wait. Where did that come from?” But it just came out. It is what it is.

    It’s like improvisational jazz. You know, when Miles Davis would just get up there and just play. And freestyle.

    STIPP: How do you see yourself progressing as an artist? When you look at yourself, what is driving you day-after-day?

    MAHFOOD: Well, I always want to do comics in some form or another, and I always will, but I would love to be able and take the live art thing on an international tour. Get a bunch of artists, get a bunch of DJs, get it sponsored by, like, a shoe company or a marker company or some hip company and literally take it around the world and do comic book stores, signings during the days, and then live art in clubs at night.

    It would be a dream for me. So, it’s starting to catch on and blow up and it’s, hopefully, leading to that. It may take a little while to get sponsors but I already have like artists and DJs all ready to go. It’s just organizing it and figuring out how to do it.

  • Trailer Park: The Nerd Stompin’ Hootananny, or San Diego Comic-Con 2007

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    It’s springtime and it’s the time of the year when young men’s thoughts turn to the sightings of young adults dressed up like obscure Japanese anime characters, weighted down by scads of props and accouterments that even Mr. T would have to agree is a bit too much.

    For a few reasons I bring this up:

    1) I managed to book my hotel room damn near 8 months ago and have finally secured lodgings that will allow me to have a few and not have to worry about driving to the Motel 6 miles away because it was the only place left that charged less than a 100 spot for a night. It’s a great feeling to finally buck that procrastination monkey off my back for once; it’ll be even better around one a.m. after I’ve been drinking and realize I need to sleep before spending another nine hours chasing my tail in hopes of seeing everything that the convention has to offer.

    2) I realize that those who have been see the Comic-Con as a thing you can do once and never do again, plus you get those people who kind of eschew the experience after they’ve done it year after year. Let me say this: ’07 marks my 4th straight year going to the Con. I’m still looking forward to it because not only do I live for my routines in life when I can establish them but I feel that it’s been a different monster every year. From my first one when I had the opportunity to talk to Breehn Burns who made one of the best faux trailers you’ll ever see, met Josh Holloway from Lost, and did a nice write up, thank you very much, for number two and then, for number three, had the chance to see BORAT months before it ever dropped. plus sat in with herr editor Ken Plume when he conducted absolutely hilarious interviews with members of HOT FUZZ, Edgar Wright and Nick Frost, and RENO 911!: MIAMI, Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant. I just don’t know, maybe it’s brain damage or being too dumb to know otherwise but it’s these little moments that make the excursion all worth it.

    3) Building on a bit of what I had to say in number 2, I finally have something lined up weeks prior to me ever having to do anything to set it up. For those who enjoy the perks of writing for a known publication that publicists line up knocking at your door just hoping you’ll spill a little e-ink on their client this will come as no surprise to you: some of us, even though we can kinda sorta draw a link between us and Kevin Smith when we’re having to cold call prospective interview subjects, have to play the see-and-wait game with plebes who couldn’t care that I would be better for the person of the hour that they have to wrangle for the day because I wouldn’t start off the interview with, “If you could be an action figure…” or some sort of nonsense that passes for mainstream journalism. The words pathetic don’t come close to describing my pain when I see who I am passed over in lieu of. But, whatever, right? This is a time to play Johnny Hustle and, damn, I just love cold calling.

    4) The shit for sale! Every year I raid Jim Mahfood’s booth and buy whatever the guy is selling. This is the real reason why the Con will always be fresh: it’s a time to connect, if you’re in harmony with it, with those who are creating great art. It’s not like you’re meeting the Dali Lama but if you’re plunking down any kind of coinage for comics this is the time when it’s nice, I think, to just let these artists and writers know you’re reading and appreciating their work. They obviously don’t do it for the fat check, some of them do, but it’s nice to be in the center for all of that.

    5) Two words: Haunted Memories. Best money I ever spent at the Con, no joke. This and the Watchmen TPB I finally picked up last year.

    Really, I could go on, and believe me I will, but when some things finally fell into place this week I just couldn’t believe how giddy I was just thinking about walking all day and running around like a chicken. From getting the chance to see what’s coming out next summer in ’08 to sitting in on forums about what’s up with my favorite geeky indulgence it’s just nice to be as old as me and genuinely look forward to wallowing in my own nerdiness.

    Life is filled with enough things I don’t look forward to and this is one of the last vestiges of my youth that really is a good time. You’ve just got to get in the right frame of mind. Except, those kids in the anime costumes have got to go. For reals.

    JOSHUA (2007)

    Director: George Ratliff
    Cast:
    Sam Rockwell, Vera Farmiga, Celia Weston, Dallas Roberts, Michael McKean
    Release: July 6, 2007
    Synopsis:
    The tale of Brad (Sam Rockwell) and Abby (Vera Farmiga) Cairn, perfect Manhattan parents in a perfect Manhattan apartment whose perfect life begins to crack after the birth of their second child Lily. Shortly after Lily arrives home, a dark side of prodigy son Joshua slowly begins to reveal itself.

    View Trailer:
    * Medium (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Left Me Not Wanting More. I felt the nails on the chalkboard simply from that baby monitor in the beginning of the trailer.

    Some of you basement dwellers will never know the pleasure of actually fornicating, impregnating and then having your bride pop out a nugget with ten fingers and toes but for those of you who have managed that feat will know the pleasure of listening to every cry and bleat for ever loving God that your child can muster through a shitty ass piece of $29.99 intercom technology.

    I felt the pain of what that’s like and thankfully we’re not given some hokey voiceover explaining that to us as we open up onto things.

    Yes, the opening sequence feels a little on the light side with regard to figuring out what the hell is happening on the screen, the wife looking like an uglified, malnourished Frances McDormand, even as the creepy boy who understands what this new kid means inside the household.

    As well, the piano sequence that continues things, with this way-too-smart for his own good little boy lets his dad know that his father is not required to love him by any means is slightly awkward and feels a little false.

    What’s great is Sam’s boss who cuts right through all the sentimentality of the new arrival, cuts right to the quick as he brings us all back to reality, and when you see the dead dog on the kitchen floor there is all sorts of giggles from this side of the fence. Now we’re talking entertainment”¦

    The strange twist here is that the kid then becomes the Damien of the film’s focus. He starts killing his classroom’s pets, he exhibits the kind of creepiness that I would immediately take as a sign to take the kid back to whence it came but offering to be able and throw a rock at an old person for five dollars just made me laugh. It was really so absurd that I couldn’t help but feel it was more funny than it was scary.

    And when the kid is staring in front of a television that has nothing on it but snow? I mean, when Carol Anne did it in POLTERGEIST that was because her parents were too fucking cheap to buy cable for the kids but here? Come on, it’s the 2000’s and the only people that should be without basic cable should be pedophiles and those who make Mike and Ike candies.

    As we continue forth the parents are parents are completely caught unawares of what their demon brood is preparing to do, namely killing their youngest daughter, HOWEVER the remaining moments of the trailer are surprisingly suspenseful as we all wonder whether the kid is going to take the stroller and push his sister to her death.

    I think the trailer, on the whole, is a sparse affair. It should be applauded for not using any voiceovers to try and amp up what’s not there but we’ve seen multiple films about kids who become killers and killers who might be kids, none with any great degree of success. This is why I wouldn’t pay to see the film. It might, though, be a reason why releasing the film in theaters and on television at the same time would be a good thing.

    WAR (2007)

    Director: Phillip G. Atwell
    Cast: Jet Li, Jason Statham, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Nadine Velazquez Release: September 14, 2007
    Synopsis: After his partner Tom Lone (Terry Chen) and family are killed apparently by the infamous and elusive assassin Rogue (Jet Li), FBI agent Jack Crawford (Jason Statham) becomes obsessed with revenge as his world unravels into a vortex of guilt and betrayal. Rogue eventually resurfaces to settle a score of his own, igniting a bloody crime war between Asian mob rivals Chang (John Lone) of the Triad’s and Yakuza boss Shiro (Ryo Ishibashi). When Jack and Rogue finally come face to face, the ultimate truth of their pasts will be revealed. Used to be titled ROGUE.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (Flash)

    Prognosis: Yikes. Sometimes you just need to downshift your brain.

    After trying to wrap your head around what the Bush administration is doing to people within our own country or thinking of how we’ve gotten our collective selves into a quagmire in Iraq with no possible endgame to finish things right, there are movies like this that speak to the Suspension of Disbelief theory better than any textbook example ever could.

    Quite ostensibly, you’ve got the intro. Hot cars pull up in front of some nameless bar with lots of hot chicks with body paint bumping and writhing to the sounds of whatever; who cares about equal rights when you’ve got body paint, right?

    Oooo”¦intrigue. You’ve got some gangland style executions going on, again, without any context about the who’s, the why’s, the how’s and what-does-this-all-mean theorizing. I’m ok with all of this.

    Then the voiceover starts and even I can’t help but start laughing.

    See if you can follow me on this, the trailer basically lays it out better than any blueprint of how to make a circle ever could: in some way or fashion there’s this Asian gang that has enjoyed freedom, I guess, to do whatever the hell they want because they have some kind of “truce” with the police. Yeah, I see where this is going too”¦

    Someone gets shot dead on the good guy side, whatever that means, and then Voiceover Guy chimes in with, “A renegade FBI agent.” This is about where I lose my shit. I mean, yes, I love these kinds of films but if you’re not even going to make an effort to make some kind of original B.S. then, really, why should I?

    You look at a film like UNLEASHED and even a film like CRANK and you can see what I’m talking about. There’s originality there, obviously not Oscar award winning originality, but as this trailer progresses we’re just going through the motions.

    We’re dished up some crappy hip-hop/techno track as Jet punches and kicks his way through bad guys, Jason punches and kicks his way through equally as bad bad guys in his pseudo Kung-Fu style.

    There’s some jumping through windows that looks terribly choreographed, some Asian guys fighting in three piece suits (a staple of any good martial arts movies in the 80’s starring Van Damme, Brandon Lee or Dolph Lundgren), lots of fancy cars and motorcycles being a part of action sequences, more three piece Asian fighting dudes and, hell, to finish it off, we even get a ninja. A fucking ninja.

    Look, I enjoy these kinds of movies if they’re done right but this trailer speaks to someone who I used to be as a little man of 13: someone who wanted stuff to blow up, for there to be a wafer-thin plot and to leave me feeling utterly stupid by the end.

    I’m older now and this kind of idiocy just doesn’t sit well with me anymore and this trailer honestly feels like it should have been left back in the 80’s where it belongs.


    THE BOSS OF IT ALL (2007)

    Director: Lars Von Trier
    Cast:
    Jens Albinus, Peter Gantzler, Thor Fridriksson, Benedikt Erlingsson, Iben Hjejle
    Release: May 23, 2007 (Limited)
    Synopsis: The owner of an Information Technology firm wants to sell his business for profit. The trouble is that when he started his firm he invented a nonexistent company president to hide behind when unpopular steps needed to be taken. When potential purchasers insist on negotiating with the “Boss” face to face the owner has to hire a failed actor to play the part. The actor suddenly discovers he is a pawn in a game that tests his (lack of) moral fiber.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Negative. I despise superlatives.

    Ok, I don’t really despise them because I employ them every now and again but when they’re used in film advertising I really take umbrage with the connotations of making such statements. Case in point is the trailer for this film and is a textbook case as to why it’s just not a turn-on when you’re being asked to pay money to see a film that someone’s directed.

    What’s more, or what’s truly confounding, is in the first few seconds of this film we’re treated to a reflection of Von Trier in a pane of glass as he navigates a camera on a crane. I get that he was behind the whole Dogme 95 movement but what are we, as an audience, supposed to make of Lars breaking the virtual 4th wall in exposing himself, his movie, as nothing more than a play put to film? An overt fiction where, I guess, we’re not supposed to believe the story in which he’s trying to sell us. He obviously doesn’t mind be credited in the trailer as the man who directed the film, breaking commandment number 10 of his own visionary plan for cinema, but it’s a little odd if nothing else.

    We’re tossed the “most controversial director” moniker like it’s supposed to make me sip a little faster from my latte because I’m about to hit with something really controversial but, the fact of the matter is, the joke that this movie is really only an “office comedy” only serves to make this trailer lumber forward with only a vague sense of what this all is supposed to be about.

    What we see is some guy who looks like Treat Williams introducing a dude who could easily pass for Daniel Craig’s body double to a pack of people in a boardroom. I get the guy is supposed to be an actor only playing the part of a boss but what are we to make of the brown shit he applies to his forehead like he’s someone who’s forgot that a) he’s a dude and b) that you’ve now established this character as some kind of whack job no matter how good the excuse is.

    Further on we get it, almost nauseatingly so with as many references to how ruthless this guy is, that the imaginary boss is reviled to the point of physical violence. The guy gets beaten up, for Christ sakes.

    I try desperately to look for some kind of narrative that will jive with what’s supposed to be at issue here, that some mark was brought in to take the heat off the real boss who has been driving a pack of yuppies into a sense of submission and violent tendencies or that this all part of some more elaborate experiment of some kind, but there is a glimmer that there is more underneath all the seething hatred.

    I can’t imagine anyone would stay at a position like this considering what these people are going through, at least what we’re shown they’re going through, but the trailer is an utter failure in proving any thesis greater than whoever cut this thing deserves the same type of vile violence that seems to be visited upon the blonde actor who is just looking for a paycheck.

    I could be wrong but the trailer doesn’t make it any easier on any of us in getting some kind of straight answer as why I should spend anything more than my time just moving on to another movie than can explain itself better than this.

    HE WAS A QUIET MAN (2007)

    Director(s): Frank A. Cappello
    Cast: Christian Slater, Elisha Cuthbert, William H. Macy, Sascha Knopf, Jamison Jones
    Release: Coming Soon
    Synopsis: He seemed like such a nice guy”¦He pretty much kept to himself”¦An office worker inadvertently becomes a hero after he saves a woman’s life.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive; This Is Why I Love Trailers. Unless you’re one of the few who can actually do it I am going to go on a limb and say that there are a lot of brilliant people who contribute to the Internet but have to slug it out in an office where clichés come to life every single morning.

    The office genre, thankfully, still has room for growth and this looks like a shockingly excellent addition to it. Not everything that goes on in an everyday office has to be funny, most people who know can affirm that it can be downright miserable without an ounce of humor to be found, and Christian Slater just blazes right off the screen.

    The voiceover is a curious one. It is a woman’s voice who essentially proposes a question of whether if you knew the outcome of a situation, a high stress one, while were you were in it, would you do something different. The question is a simple one but it works well with what’s happening on the screen. Slater is holding a pistol and even though we don’t know why or what’s happening.

    Slater has shed his clean and well-shaven appearance, it was really KUFFS that best embodied this sense of cool style and Leon Rippy earns high marks for allowing Slater to eclipse what could have been an Oscar worthy performance, and has instead opted for old guy glasses, a wicked bad Members Only jacket and a loaded gun.

    Kudos as well go out to the trailer makers for taking a large block of trailer time and giving us an extended moment after a maniac shoots up his office. Slater going ape shit on his own and capping the guy before he can fire back was completely unexpected.

    They have my attention.

    The places where this film goes from here is rather interesting. The screen gives us quick comments like “what if you could make a difference” and other such what ifs but it’s Slater’s geeky response in feeling uncomfortably ill at ease makes me want to know more as a viewer; exactly the kind of thing, you see, a good trailer should do.

    He looks like he gets the kind of job and life all of us dream of in a business setting, of becoming the boss, having some modicum of power, and seeing William Macy act along Slater just elevates the production that much further in my own mind as a consumer.

    This is also something I have been missing in the creation of modern trailers, a good soundtrack. It’s the Bloc Party’s “This Modern Love” which just launches and thrusts the action of this thing forward better than most any other trailer in the past couple months; it fits, for one, the movement of those on the screen and, second, it makes everything feel fresh.

    And, what’s more, when the song switches to Keane’s “Bad Dream” I find myself getting those prickly little goose bumps as we go further, not getting a real definitive explanation of what we’re watching but getting a feel, a real feel, for the film’s ethos on how these two people, Slater and Elisha, come together and what happens when they do.

    The animated hummingbird, the shot of the office building blowing up, the two of them dancing with one another in some kind of dreamscape and the vagueness of what these two mean in the grand scope of this film easily put this trailer in my Top Ten for 2007.

  • Trailer Park: Roman Polanski is still a wanted fugitive in the U.S. for raping a 13 year-old girl but who cares, right?

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    There’s a lot I like to read about movies.

    I usually skip the fluff in favor of the harder news that a lot of sites out there push out, commenting on the stories from an angle that contextualizes events, happenings.

    On one of my perusing journeys I came across an article that decried the lunkheadedness of many reporters out there who are aching to serve entertainment outlets with vapid and shallow filling that will play well to Ma and Pa Kettle in Bumwad, Tennessee.

    I’ve been there, believe me. I don’t know how these people managed to get a paid position with an organization that thinks asking actors or directors meaningless questions about their personal lives or proclivities with them being loosely based on the fictional product they’re out hocking but it’s embarrassing to be in the same room with said actor or director when they get a question that feels written by a third grader. They get that look on their face where you instantly know that a) they’re going to be nice and answer it and b) are making a mental note to never make small talk with the wag in the future.

    One such event happened during a Cannes interview with directors David Cronenberg, Atom Egoyan, Wong Kar Wai, Jane Campion, Gus Van Sant, Taskeshi Kitano and Roman Polanski all gathered for an ol’ fashioned press conference. I’ll save you the fluffery and get right to the quick: Roman Polanski had enough of the softballs he has being given. He had enough at one point and said:

    “This is a rare and unique opportunity to see a gathering of such important directors and it’s a shame to have such poor questions,” Polanski said pointedly.

    He then left the stage in a huff and didn’t come back. He had enough of the press’ lame questioning and went about his day. On the one hand, I think he did the right thing but, on the other, CHUD’s own Devin Faraci chimed in with the opinion that, “How much banality should a great talent have to endure to sell his product?” True enough. It’s a point, and essay, worth taken. However, it doesn’t make it right in the grand scheme of things if ever there was a grand scheme.

    Months earlier, Faraci stepped further into the Polanski issue by stating that, “there are people who will never again watch a Polanski film because of the statutory rape he committed years ago. But does Polanski as rapist diminish Polanski as filmmakers? Of course not”¦ unless Polanski was a filmmaker whose whole oeuvre was based on the sanctity and beauty of youth and innocence.”

    This view couldn’t be filled with more ignorance even if he was the original template for Plato’s allegory for those stages of mental cognition in The Republic. Based on Faraci’s logic, then, it should follow then you should be able to enjoy his award-winning film, THE PIANO, without ever bringing the issue of the whole drugging and rape thing of a young girl into an honest critique of the man’s film.

    I believe, and would posit, that a man like Polanski still deserves the kind of ire that we, as a society, place on those who would harm young children. If you can separate the two notions in your own head and justify being able to say “Yeah, he’s a rapist but, boy, he is a great filmmaker!” I’m sure there are scores of adults who have to live with the scars of physical abuse from when they were children and, I am willing to bet my left nut, I’m positive they don’t take issues like this lightly and I’m sure they don’t think there’s ever a statute of limitations on rape.

    To look at something, and hold something, like a movie above all else is a case study in myopia. For those who have children, for those who have sisters, I’m pretty positive none of them are apologists for a filmmaker who has yet to answer to a crime which he actively avoids to this day. Use all the excuses to defend the man but, at the end of the day, there will always be a woman who I’m sure never would patronize a Polanski film, nor support it due to the vile things that monster has wrought.

    In case you’d like to read more about the kind grandiose filmmaker Polanski is, as every student of film should understand the backgrounds of those who produce world-class art, here is a snippet of the man’s life circa 1977 from Wikipedia:

    In 1977 Polanski, 43, became embroiled in a scandal involving 13-year-old Samantha Geimer. It ultimately led to Polanski’s guilty plea to the charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.[1]

    According to Geimer, Polanski asked Geimer’s mother if he could photograph the girl for the French edition of Vogue. Her mother allowed a private photo shoot. According to Geimer in a 2003 interview, “Everything was going fine; then he asked me to change, well, in front of him.” She added, “It didn’t feel right, and I didn’t want to go back to the second shoot.”

    However, subsequent to the first photo shoot, she agreed to a second session, which took place on March 10, 1977, in the Mulholland area of Los Angeles, near Jack Nicholson‘s estate. “We did photos with me drinking champagne,” Geimer says. “Toward the end it got a little scary, and I realized he had other intentions and I knew I was not where I should be. I just didn’t quite know how to get myself out of there.” Geimer alleged that Polanski sexually assaulted her after giving her a combination of champagne and quaaludes. In the 2003 interview, Geimer says she resisted. “I said no several times, and then, well, gave up on that,” she says.[2]

    Polanski was initially charged[3] with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance (methaqualone) to a minor, but these charges were dismissed under the terms of his plea bargain, and he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of engaging in unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.[4]

    Now, who wouldn’t be lined up to see his next film?

    LICENSE TO WED (2007)

    Director: Ken Kwapis
    Cast:
    Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, John Krasinski, Christine Taylor, Eric Christian Olsen
    Release: July 3, 2007
    Synopsis:
    LICENSE TO WED follows newly engaged Ben Murphy (John Krasinski) and his fiancée, Sadie Jones (Mandy Moore), who has always dreamed of getting married in a traditional wedding at her family church. The problem is St. Augustine’s only has one wedding slot available in the next two years, and its charismatic pastor, Reverend Frank (Robin Williams), won’t bless Ben and Sadie’s union until they pass his patented, foolproof marriage-prep course. Through outrageous classes, outlandish homework assignments and some pious manipulation, Ben and Sadie are about to find out if they really have what it takes to make it to the altar”¦ and live happily ever after.

    View Trailer:
    * Medium (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Negative. “I have feelings of homosexuality that cause me some concern”¦”

    I’m literally just trying to recall from the moment when I was faced with a questionnaire from my church with dozens of questions about anything and everything regarding my personal life but it wasn’t until I hit the aforementioned “homosexual” question that I realized there are some strange things afoot inside the church.

    I think it’s why I gravitated so well towards this trailer.

    It, as well, has everything to do with Robin Williams’ subdued performance; he’s not screaming, riffing endlessly or posturing for the benefit of no one but himself. It’s, also, the instant sense of goofiness that you sense with John Krasinski and Mandy Moore.

    When, in the beginning, one of those retractable line strips comes undone unexpectedly the ensuing wackiness is slapstick that Middle America would love dearly. You realize quickly that this is not a film which will linger with you after you see it. This is the Carls Jr., the Sourdough Jack, the McDLT, if you will, of the summer.

    However, there are lots redeeming the production.

    You’ve got John who is just a charming addition on the screen. You can keep your McConaughey’s, your Hugh Grant’s, because there is something truly delightful about having someone who looks like an Everyman and acts like someone you could take an interest in.

    “Ben, what do you do”¦besides little Sadie?”

    Williams also shines as he establishes his character as someone who is even tempered and has an even mood. His demeanor just sparkles as he explains to Moore and Krasinski about Marriage Preparation. You can feel the friction building and even Moore, who genuinely dazzled during her time on ENTOURAGE adds to the mediocre laughs that are sure to ensue when William’s breaks free of his cloistered chains and indulges us all in a little exorcism humor.

    It’s hard to be truly positive about a trailer that doesn’t look like it’s something I’m going to be paying for but even though the camera work looks like it’s going to be as basic as anything auteur, and master of making sure everyone uses X3 as a litmus that usually starts with “Yeah, but was it X3 bad?”, Brett Ratner has put on film, this comedy has something about it as there is still a glimmer that it could be a great rental when it comes out around Thanksgiving.

    A MIGHTY HEART (2007)

    Director: Michael Winterbottom
    Cast: Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman, Archie Panjabi
    Release: June 22, 2007
    Synopsis: On January 23, 2002, Mariane Pearl’s world changed forever. Her husband Daniel, South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal, was researching a story on shoe bomber Richard Reid. The story drew them to Karachi where a go-between had promised access to an elusive source. As Danny left for the meeting, he told Mariane he might be late for dinner. He never returned.

    In the face of death, Danny’s spirit of defiance and his unflinching belief in the power of journalism led Mariane to write about his disappearance, the intense effort to find him and his eventual murder in her memoir A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of My Husband Danny Pearl. Six months pregnant when the ordeal began, she was carrying a son that Danny hoped to name Adam. She wrote the book to introduce Adam to the father he would never meet. Transcending religion, race and nationality, Mariane’s courageous desire to rise above the bitterness and hatred that continues to plague this post 9/11 world, serves as the purest expression of the joy of life she and Danny shared.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Negative. Ok, let’s get the obvious out of the way.

    Regardless of your feelings about Jolie’s constant appearance in the news for adopting/having/keeping children from all over the world despite plucking one from our own adoption system which is just pathetic considering how we publicly dry-hump the idea of abstinence yet have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world, regardless of how Mariane Pearl has handled the subsequent events following her husband’s untimely death and regardless of your feelings about the creepiness that is Angelina and her media machine, this looks like a fairly spiffy film.

    Ah, who am I trying to kid? I can’t look at Jolie without being reminded how many times that woman has been staring back at me while I’m trying to read the wife’s US Weekly when I’ve been droppin’ a grumpy in the can.

    For all intents and purposes, though, there is a good amount that’s done right in this trailer that deserves a mention. I do appreciate that we’re given a fair introduction into the life of Daniel, a guy who looks like he’s completely wet behind the ears of life, and the scene that we’re given is allowed to happen organically without any impedance of a graphic or voiceover.

    Jolie looks like she spent too long at the spray tanner.

    South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal. That’s what Jolie, in a hamfisted accent that I think no one’s really going to believe this side of Madonna’s or Paltrow’s faux English linguistics, tells us about Daniel’s job. Not to mention that this is going to go down in Pakistan, not really a good place for an American to be in 2002.

    So, we move on and before we even get into the meat of what’s happening here Jolie says that the two of them flew to Pakistan the day after 9/11. I don’t know what world you live in but, again, there are a lot of red flags that a) should have been waved in front of their face about what the climate was and b) regardless of your position as a journalist you can’t help but feel, after hearing those words out of Jolie’s badly accented lips, that this was a losing proposition.

    Then we’ve got the moment where Daniel disappears forever. According to the trailer we see that he wants one more interview. He gets into a cab and starts driving, and driving, and driving before he says, looking scared, “Are we far?” Um, yeah, at what point does chasing a story and being in love with the idea of being a journalist preclude the notion of preserving one’s life? You can’t watch this trailer and not feel some sense that there was something really amiss with the way things went down.

    “I don’t think this is the business of a journalist”

    From the moment he’s captured the music score gets faster, to create the sense that everyone’s running out of time in finding the man, but the trailer doesn’t really convey the kind of urgency that I would expect to compel me to want to see the movie. While I understand that that everyone, almost everyone, there are some people who can’t list the last three presidents of America, knows how the story ends I can’t believe that a tagline that this movie represents, “the story you haven’t heard.”

    Umm”¦pretty sure I have, Sparky. Apart from the situational details and the summary of events as explained by his own paper anything else are just the private moments of Mrs. Pearl which are open for interpretation and misrepresentation.

    Apart from the usual trappings of a cat-and-mouse movie and the events as they unfolded, a lot of which I would deconstruct here, there is a moment, at the end of this trailer, something really concerns me. Jolie, again in that wretched accent, breaks the 4th wall of this film by saying out loud that this movie is for his son. Is this Angelina talking or is this his widow? And why have there at all? The emotional buy-in, obviously, but it is gauche in ways I can’t begin to describe.

    Is this a film or a documentary? If it’s the former then it makes Angelina’s comments seriously out of place and disgraceful. If it’s the latter then why isn’t his wife playing the part of his wife and why aren’t we just saving the cost of whatever it took to pay Angelina to do this movie (I’m sure it wasn’t done for free) and getting a documentary crew in there to do the work for us?

    It’s all very strange but I am sure as Angelina graces more tabloid covers leading up to this film’s release we’ll get a clearer picture of how this film was handled.

    Interesting side note: Ted Rall, someone who is the embodiment of brutal and insightful honesty in a time of censure, had this to say about the proliferation of outspoken widows in this insidious and un-winnable “war on civil liberties”:

    Let’s see. Ted Olsen, one of the three “terror widows” in my (in) famous comic from 2002, appeared on “Larry King” a week after his wife’s death to promote Bush’s war on terror(TM), aka neo-fascist agitprop. Mariane Pearl made repeated appearances on cable news stations to promote her two books. So did the “Let’s Roll” (R) widow. (She also sold a book, and filed for a trademark on the term “Let’s roll.”) Of course, I was demonized by Coulter’s right-wing fellow travelers for criticizing these people for the (strange) way they chose to mourn their losses. Psychotic self-hating African-American pol Alan Keyes called for me to be censored, jailed and shot to death, not necessarily in that order. My, how things have changed.

    MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS (2007)

    Director: Wong Kar Wai
    Cast:
    Norah Jones, Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, David Strathairn
    Release: TBA
    Synopsis: MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS is the new film from one of the world’s most sought-after directors, Wong Kar Wai. It’s a magnificent love story starring multi-Grammy award winner Norah Jones in her movie debut along with a “A-list” cast of Academy Award winners and nominees including Jude Law, David Strathairn, Rachel Weisz and Natalie Portman.

    Norah Jones plays a sensual, alluring young woman who sets out on an unforgettable journey of discovery in pursuit of true love. In heartbreakingly beautiful locations and classic Route 66 atmospheric diners, Wong Kar Wai’s captivating heroine encounters a series of enigmatic characters that help her on her quest.

    Set against New York’s magical cityscape and the stunning vistas of America’s legendary Route 66, the celebrated director’s first English language picture embraces his signature elegance and originality that made “Happy Together,” “In the Mood for Love” and “2046” must-see movies all around the world..

    View Trailer:
    * Large (Flash)

    Prognosis: Negative. Nigel Tufnel: It’s part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy, I’m working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don’t know why.

    Here’s something that gets me when I think about the currency of trailer advertising:

    Does a filmmaker’s previous films have any kind of “goodwill value” inherently attached to it? For example, and about as rudimentary as I can explain it, if you make an excellent film does it follow, then, that the trailer that heralds your next feature get a pass in a way? I would argue that, yes, there is some kind of extra credit given to that trailer.

    While I was one of a few who pointed out, long before the movie opened, that the My Chemical Emo Romance haircut of Peter Parker that has, ostensibly, sunk the replay factor SPIDER-MAN 3, regardless of how well it fits in the pure sense of the film, there were a lot of people who never brought this up and socked some people upside the head when it finally was there staring them back from the big screen. It’s these things that are worrisome.

    Worrisome, as well, is how 2046 was just a movie that had ambition but failed to deliver anything resonant as a filmgoer. So, too, then, we have a flick, MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS, that stars a guy who loves to not only play a dong-sticking cheater but plays one in real life and a girl who can capture my attention whilst behind the ivories but is completely untested as an actress.

    Goodwill? Good God, what hast thou wrought? Nothing memorable, I can tell you that.

    Let’s start at this statement: the opening is absolutely wonderful. Artfully framed and sticky with the kind of musical arrangement that emotes sadness and loneliness. Regardless that she’s a singer, Jones is just standing there in her thigh highs looking forlorn.

    And then she opens her mouth.

    It was absolutely rough to see the following images, feeling more like a lesson in music video acting, of Norah wiping away her tears, damn near staring at the same window she wishes she could be behind like a dazed stalker.

    Enter, stage left, Jude Law. I don’t know what his deal is. Honestly. I think he works in the same restaurant with Jones, I’m not sure, the trailer is a bit muddled about this, and at one point him and his disastrous looking head of a hair (Seriously, is it a weave? A piece?) help each other to shout into a telephone with great aplomb. I don’t get it the point of it and we’re not let in on it.

    What follows afterward are two, distinct, conversations. However, what’s not revealed is what these people are talking about! You’ve got Norah talking about some people finding different people and then an awkwardly set up moment between Law and Jones that not only feels sleazy but plays out like I’m watching Keanu Reeves and Paula Abdul circa 1990 in her awful, cankerous beast known as her “Rush Rush” video. Ghastly, any which way you slice it.

    PARIS, JE T’AIME (2007)

    Director(s): Gus Van Sant, Joel Coen, Alexander Payne, Olivier Assayas, Frederic Auburtin, Gérard Depardieu, Christoffer Boe, Gurinder Chadha, Sylvain Chomet, Ethan Coen, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Christopher Doyle, Vincenzo Natali
    Cast: Steve Buscemi, Juliette Binoche, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Elijah Wood, Gena Rowlands, Emily Mortimer, Miranda Richardson, Rufus Sewell, Willem Dafoe, Natalie Portman, Gerard Depardieu, Bob Hoskins, Nick Nolte
    Release: May 4, 2007 (Limited), Coming Soon
    Synopsis: Eighteen different directors and a slew of indie actors come together for PARIS, JE T’AIME, a cinematic homage to the City of Light. Each director presents his or her own short story set in a different Parisian quarter, each one featuring a different cast of characters. The pieces vary in length, with some of them striving to tell a fully developed tale–no matter how simple the plot–while others are more abstract, content to rely on sparse dialogue and vivid imagery. With directors such as Gus Van Sant, Alexander Payne, Wes Craven, and the Coen brothers participating, the tales are as varied and oddball as one might expect. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a lonely actress with a fondness for her hash dealer. Elijah Wood encounters a seductive vampire on a moonlit street. Steve Buscemi is a flustered tourist. Natalie Portman falls for a deaf Frenchmen. Each tale is markedly unique, and specific to the quirky style of its director, and the film is a veritable Who’s Who for indie buffs. The end product is a bit uneven, with some of the narratives sparkling and others starting strong, then falling flat. But in the moments when it succeeds, the movie can feel mysterious and magical, evoking the romance and longing the city is famous for.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. Sometimes, just sometimes, an original thought can start something special.

    You watch something and think that the gimmick is just that, a gimmick, and if you try and there’s no way the finished product can support itself beyond that. FOUR ROOMS proved that very well with the multiple-director germ that spawned a film that was ½ good while the other half could have been pitched into a river, tossing and twisting inside a gunny sack. This trailer, though, just exudes that je ne sais quoi (I apologize for that) which really does and should surprise.

    One of the very first things that catch your eye is Natalie Portman. Sitting, perched near a window, the belfry ringing in the background, the screen goes black and the pronouncement is made: “From 18 of the most acclaimed international directors”¦” The first thought for many could be “How is this possible?” but for me it’s “Who was able to coordinate all those schedules?” Beyond that, the list is populated with handfuls of people who I know and, quite naturally, those who I am not familiar with. It’s a veritable who’s who of the directorial arts but before you question how the brothers Cohen made the list alongside Wes Craven were thrust into the narratives.

    Now, from a marketing standpoint there’s obviously an issue with selling a story to the public when you’re talking about a movie that’s a literary equivalent to a short story collection. The angle you have to take, and the one you’re really left with, is selling the styles. Selling the chance to find out why Steve Buscemi looks so forlorn, why Rufus Sewell actually looks like a leading man for once and why Willem Dafoe is on a horse in the middle of an urban jungle.

    There’s some simplicity in the musical score that is the only, singular thread that is connecting the reasons why you would want to toss down some scratch to see the picture. I am compelled by Bob Hoskins’ performance in a strip club and the odd pairing of a man who stands behind a pane of smoky glass only to have a fist shatter it as he stands perfectly still as it happens.

    “Every glance”¦Every kiss”

    The perfection that is this trailer is its simplicity. We’re no better understanding why the flirtatious looks between a man and woman are so compelling but as the trailer builds to a steady crescendo we’re given the reasons why there is enough reason to see this film: it’s an ode to new love, old love and the kind of love we all can connect with as human beings. It’s a bit corny, yes, but that’s exactly what modern cinema has been missing for a little while.

    Elijah Wood’s story looks creepier than fuck, I actually feel positive to a cleaner looking Nick Nolte strolling with his maiden and the individual signatures from all the other directors involved, mashed up with one another, works so effectively that I dare say there is some reason to believe in the power of the short-story angle which doesn’t feel like an excuse to have all sorts of directors toss a bunch of slop against a wall to see what sticks; in fact, I would posit that what’s given here at the end of the trailer is a case for the ethos that love can be a good, solid reason to make a movie where you really could find a gem or two within the body of the work.

  • Trailer Park: Your Estimated Wait Time Is…

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    There’s nothing that really rocked my world this week except the new album from WILCO. And, on the subject of Wilco, therein lies why I’m just not feeling it this week.

    I put in a request to interview someone, anyone, from the band. Lately I’ve been doing this a lot, putting in requests for all sorts of things, people, acts, oddities but it’s been the oddest thing, trying to get someone to respond to an interview request as of late. I might as well have the bubonic plague of the conversational arts if the numbers of e-mails that ever come back is any indication.

    I’m of the mind that writing for as long as I have for the site, and doing the kind of entertainment journalism (and don’t let anyone try and convince you otherwise that any of what’s done regarding film is anything less than cream puff journalism. I know reporters who cover city hall and taking about the cleavage you can peep from Jessica Biel in the newest catastrophe by Adam Sandler is hardly elevating in any sort of way.) I’ve done, I thought, should translate into some kind of cred.

    It didn’t. It doesn’t.

    What I know is that I can’t even get Derrek Lee to talk about his part for a film called CHASING OCTOBER without getting snowjobbed by the dude’s publicist for the film who promised everything short of a guaranteed interview. It’s what I wanted, of course, but the fun part of this gig, and partly the most frustrating, is that I’m not paid to chase these snake oil salesman until they relent. It’s rather freeing in a way to know that I’ll cast a net out there when the mood strikes and, sometimes, I’ll get lucky. Read here: Darren Aronofsky, Tanya Donelly, even Andy Dick was an amazing time.

    The difference between everyone else and me, I guess, is that I don’t really care at the end of the day. I’m trying to bring good material to those handful of people who read this but getting the Heisman by publicists who would be better off to slit their own wrists than perpetuate the perennial “I’m too much of a pussy” facade of ignoring e-mails or dodging phone calls than to man-up and say they’re not interested in allowing their client-of-the-moment to chat with me.

    Maybe they’re right. Maybe they are the great soothsayers who can tell when someone’s Bush League or when they have bazillons of hits on their site to warrant a one-on-one. Again, it’s fun in an antagonistic way to see this play out again and again only from the perspective that a) I don’t really care when you get right down to it; I’m trying to do a good job for you, the teeming dozens, but this is just the result of what happens when you’re dialing for dollars. And b) I just know someone will eventually say yes to something and then it makes the hustling all worthwhile. It may be someone you have never heard of but it’s my job here to tell you why you should.

    It’s nice to be thrown a famous bone every once in a while but sometimes this just feels like a real job, a grind almost. Let’s see what happens with that request I put in for Wilco. It’s probably nothing but it just might be something.

    I’m here, and will stay here, because I’m always thinking it’s going to be the latter.

    CAPTIVITY (2007)

    Director: Roland Joffe
    Cast:
    Elisha Cuthbert, Daniel Gillies, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Michael Harney, Laz Alonso
    Release: June 22, 2007
    Synopsis:
    Top cover girl and fashion model, Jennifer Tree has it all – beauty, fame, money and power. Her face appears on covers of hundreds of magazines. At the top of her game, Jennifer is America’s sweetheart. She is loved and adored and sought after. Everyone wants her. But someone out there has been watching and waiting. Someone wants her in the worst way. Out alone at a charity event in Soho, Jennifer is drugged and taken. Held captive in a cell, Jennifer is subjected to a series of terrifying, life-threatening tortures that could only be conceived by a twisted, sadistic mind.

    View Trailer:
    * Medium (Flash)

    Prognosis: Negative. What I really don’t like in movie promotions is when, and if, a movie causes a stir prior to opening, during release or even after it has shuffled off this mortal coil to the video stands I think it’s gauche to make the thrust of your campaign a series of pull-quotes or superlatives.

    You see, what’s going to bring me to the theater and what brings a 16 year-old to the theater is different but it’s revealing to me as a moviegoer as to the quality of company that the studio decides to employ for its publicity when they have to resort to the tagline: The Movie They Didn’t Want You To See.

    Didn’t want me to see? Who? The people who complained about the real shitty billboards that depicted a caged woman as a device to drum up some attention? Pardon me for saying it but it’s one thing to be complimented about your ability to take a crap film and make me believe that it’s the next Oscar contender but it’s an entirely different story when you’re just plain lazy about your film’s promotion. And this trailer speaks to its laziness in rather overt ways.

    Elisha Cuthbert, the Canuck who deserves a lot better than what she received in promotion for her turn in GIRL NEXT DOOR, only gets glimpsed at with a jiggly, shaky camcorder; it seems whenever you have a perv who likes to hunt prey with a video camera you’ve got to make sure it’s on the fritz all the time. The weirdo in question plays with her leg for a bit while she’s unconscious.

    Don’t know what any of the creepy fondling means and I surely don’t know what the gun, egg timer (I use mine to make sure I undercook my cookies. The recipe calls for 10 minutes but I like my cookies a little on the under-baked end and so I set it for 6.), a blazing stove top burner and the pack of people standing over someone’s body, could be Elisha, like some CSI procedural.

    “The movie so intense it was punished”

    How you punish a movie? Do you bend it over and give it a few lashings? I’m not really clear about how the metaphorical wall can be broken like that but some dude in a suit made the trailer guy keep it in there for some warped, twisted reason. I like the SAW movies because I know what they’re trying to be and it was sold as such, without any hesitation. The media campaign was creative in their explanation but this movie, controversial as they’re saying it is, but here there isn’t anything else but gorillas beating on their chest making a lot of noise.

    Yeah, you have a car battery being drained of its acid, it’s going to be used for some nefarious purpose, but what does it mean to the girl that’s being held captive? I have no clue because we’re not let in on what’s going on. And, yeah, filling this chick’s cage with a large amount of sand in the hopes of burying her alive is a novel concept but why was she chosen and how does she fit into the overall scheme of things.

    The answer to all these questions is simple: it’s because the studio doesn’t have anything worth putting out there for you to chew on. The film is a saccharine substitute for other, better, serial killer genre pictures. Smoke and mirrors doesn’t begin to describe this publicity campaign.

    HAIRSPRAY (2007)

    Director: Adam Shankman
    Cast: John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Amanda Bynes, James Marsden, Queen Latifah
    Release: July 20, 2007
    Synopsis: Sixteen years after the release of the original film, New Line Cinema is bringing a feature film adaptation of the Tony award-winning Broadway production HAIRSPRAY. Featuring new and original material based on John Waters’ 1988 cult classic about star-struck teenagers on a local Baltimore dance show, the comedy features a remarkable collection of talent including John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Christopher Walken, Amanda Bynes, Allison Janney, Brittany Snow, Zac Efron, Elijah Kelley, producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron (Chicago), and director Adam Shankman (Bringing Down The House). The new screenplay for Hairspray was written by Leslie Dixon (Freaky Friday, Outrageous Fortune).

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Nega-Positive. Three things, right off the bat, about this trailer:

    1) Remember Iggy Pop? Guy used to stand for all that was punk and cool and hip and cutting edge before there was even an edge to cut? Yeah, “Lust For Life” has been co-opted by Royal Caribbean, I some a lot of the Boomers the ad is directed toward haven’t really listened to the song all the way through. In much the same way, and I know John Waters penned the screenplay, I can’t help but feel the teeth have been removed from the razor sharp dog that was the original HAIRSPRAY. The trailer gives off the scent of homogenous milk, if that makes any sense.

    2) The pervasiveness and positive reception of a show like UGLY BETTY can only help a movie about an unpopular fat girl who is just looking to accentuate and be herself in a judgmental society; these themes have never been more at the forefront of the American zeitgeist and, for the moment, this may help the film.

    3) John Travolta is scary as fuck in drag.

    It’s hard to really define what has attracted to me to this trailer. Perhaps it’s reason number three above but I’m of the belief that any preview that has a good beat that you can dance to is worthy of a few moments. The opening sequence, sans the stale and stalwart voiceover that just grates on the nerves, sets things up fairly nicely. You’ve got the period, the time, the place and the people all tossed out within the first ten seconds.

    You’re bounced, in a nice way, from what our protagonist holds fairly close to what is really at issue with the young lady. We may not know, there are some of us who have never seen the original, exactly is so interesting about a chubby girl and her desire to be on that era’s CLUB MTV but it works. It works for me.

    If you can look past Travolta as he unsuccessfully tries to channel Divine’s oddness or Queen Latifah’s route, cookie cutter performance that doesn’t ever seem to change no matter what vehicle she’s placed in, there is really something that simmers on the screen as Michelle Pfeiffer just helps to move things along.

    You leave things just sensing this could be a more satisfying than DREAMGIRLS if for no other reason than you have nearly a dozen people all contributing toward the common goal of making a classic film a little more palatable to a wider audience, just like any good co-opting campaign.

    HOT ROD (2007)

    Director: Akiva Schaffer
    Cast:
    Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Sissy Spacek, Ian McShanez
    Release: August 3, 2007
    Synopsis: Self-proclaimed stuntman Rod Taylor is preparing for the jump of his life. Rod plans to clear fifteen buses in an attempt to raise money for his abusive stepfather Frank’s life-saving heart operation. He’ll land the jump, get Frank better, and then fight him, hard.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. Before Red Vines were crazy delicious and before Justin Timberlake actually found his way into my heart with his Dick In A Box song, Andy Samberg was just a name to me.

    Saturday Night Live was just this limping horse that needed to be put down and turned into glue and my interest in the sketch comedy show that just seems be a staging area for people to come and then go to do something better was at a nadir. I think that Jimmy Fallon was a joke, not a jokester, and Tina Fey, no matter what you might think, was a pandering comedienne who delighted in laughing at her own material on Weekend Update and is only better now because she doesn’t guffaw at her writing on 30 ROCK.

    When Samberg appeared on the scene, though, I found my TiVoed episodes taking a little bit longer to get through. The kid was, and is, humorous. He may not be establishing a new way to deliver the funny funny but he does have an original voice that is a delight to listen to when it has something good to say.

    This trailer got my attention.

    From the get-go the framing of the opening scene is just good. You’ve got this suburban neighborhood that seems about as boring as any manufactured housing development for Yuppies can be. The composition just elicits smiles.

    Samberg’s personally made yellow cape looks like a yellow flag that was spray pained with his name just moments before and as he cranks his moped, the diminutive stature of the bike itself is another piece of the whole moment, asking whether the jump ramp we’re all familiar with as kids has been reinforced. As the word “No” gets uttered, Samberg shrugging it off and going full-force towards his destiny.

    As his body is flung from his bike, he tumbles forward and completely eats it on the downslide. It’s fucking hilarious. CGI, special effects, I’m not sure how they captured the moment but it was good. You’ve got no choice from here but to keep watching.

    We get to know who Rod is by being introduced to his sad little life. He looks like a low-rent daredevil and the kind of camera shots and odd characters that we glimpse make this a wonderful teaser trailer.

    I don’t think I have any handle on what’s really happening in this movie but that’s irrelevant to the way this film is being marketed.

    TRANSFORMERS (2007)

    Director: Michael Bay
    Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Rachael Taylor, Megan Fox, John Turturro, Jon Voight
    Release: July 4, 2007
    Synopsis: Whereas the Earth is the home of a variety of organic-based lifeforms, the planet of Cybertron is the homeworld of a race of robots which have the ability to transform into other mechanisms, with each Transformer having its own unique disguise. The Transformers are divided into two separate camps: the good and just Autobots, who are led by Optimus Prime (whose disguise is a red 18-wheel semi truck); and the evil Decepticons, who are led by Megatron (who transforms into a gun; there’s a good deal of size-shifting involved with Megatron as well). With fuel supplies (called Energon Cubes) on Cybertron running low, both forces travel through space looking for a new source, which leads them to Earth, which from their perspective in rich in the minerals and chemicals they need. Disguising themselves as cars, airplanes, boats, etc. easily recognizable to humans, the Transformers engage in a secret war for control of Earth’s bountiful natural resources.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. Forget everything I said.

    No, strike that, forget what I portended for the future of THE TRANSFORMERS movie if the teaser trailer were any indication of what was to come.

    I admit and still believe that the teaser trailer where the little robotic machine that’s traversing some alien soil that subsequently gets crushed, the very first look we got as viewers for how Bay was handling the property, is just awful. It’s shoddily done and looks like it was an assignment given to some 8th grade video and tech students at George Washington P.S. #138.

    This, however, is great. A solidly built trailer that promises everything that the summer can be: loud, hot and fun. It seems so simple but this is the first trailer for a tent film that has actually stoked a sense of “gotta see it” in my inner child.

    First, hats off for a) not using a voiceover and b) actually contextualizing Shia’s character. What could have been a moment to show things ripping apart or getting crushed under some machine’s metal foot we get that Shia is a normal kid. The sneaky reveal that he’s ending up with a car off Bernie Mac’s used car lot and not the Porche dealership they pull into is cute. Audiences will eat that kind of thing up. The Autobot decal on the horn is a real nice touch. I could have done without Bernie’s declarations that “the car picks the driver” and, I can’t believe it was said, “there’s a mystical bond between man and machine” as, besides feeling false, it shoehorns us into what follows.

    Mere quibbles as what comes after, the car taking off in the middle of the night as Shia looks on, the quiet, thunderous arrival of other machines into our atmosphere is simply dazzling. It’s impressive to see the money shots we’re given.

    In an era where it’s en vogue to deny anything and everything, to see the machines collide into the ground, a ballpark and then to see Bumblebee transform in front of us, to look at the detail put into the cars’ anatomy, is nothing short of amazing.

    Again, yes, the whole army trope of “Gentleman, what you’re about to see is”¦” is so tired and lame and boring and a lazy device for any writer worth his margarita salt there is a sense of danger and impending doom when you see Megatron standing there, lifeless.

    Two things while I’m thinking of it:

    1. If that indeed is Starscream hopping up in the air, transforming into a jet plane and taking off is unreal. The physics actually feel applied. If you see how fluid a lot of effects make ordinary objects look like, a little too fluid, see SUPERMAN RETURNS for this, you can only be bowled over to see things given weight, made to seem like gravity applies.

    2. The Optimus Prime transformation. I know there are lot of Gen Xers out there who eschew the series and say that the animation really wasn’t great to begin with and that it was one big marketing gimmick, etc”¦ I can say I agree but to see that diesel truck come alive it just awakens the 6th grader in me.

    For a trailer to do that and for the orgy of violence we’re given at the end there is just something in me that hopes this isn’t a trailer like PEARL HARBOR that promised an epic but gave us a crap love story; the geek backlash would be far less forgiving.

  • Trailer Park: U2 at Cannes; “This movie was shot in 3B – three beers – and it looks good, eh?”

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    Quick shout out this week and then you’ll be free to ignore the rest of the column.

    One of the biggest drags about living in this personal wasteland of hell on earth, known as Arizona, where you could not only be savaged by roaming rattlesnakes or impaled by any number of succulents that not only steal and store whatever water was intended for my consumption but you also run the risk, as happened to a friend of mine who lives here, get stung by scorpions that see your bed as a cool nest in which to lie in wait for you to fall asleep, forever haunting your ability to relax even under your own covers. Son a bitch walked around his bedroom with a black light for weeks following, just hoping to catch one of those venomous bastards and beat it with the business end of his Hush Puppies.

    No, one of the biggest drags was that I wasn’t here when U2 recorded their hallmark concert film, RATTLE AND HUM.

    The concert film never really took a toehold in American cinemas but with the success of this film and then a popular entry like Madonna’s TRUTH OR DARE you would have thought someone could have monetized this genre into something profitable like the scads of crap kids films that can be made on the cheap and then only really having to pull in the band’s estimated fan base.

    In recent years there has been a smattering of corporations trying to make this a success once more, Regal Entertainment Group offering the turd-in-the-mediocre-punchbowl opportunity to see Matchbox Twenty perform live to all of their adoring pre-menstruating female fans and then you had even them testing out what would happen if you gave people the chance to see Prince shake his ambiguously sexual groove thing in the comfort of their own movie house. Even with Aerosmith getting into the act there still wasn’t the same vibe as when the boys from Ireland rattled some cages for the people of Sun Devil Stadium and only charged them $5, a far cry from the embarrassingly ridiculous amount of money I spent to see them during their recent tour.

    One of the great things about U2, though, was their ability to see that people enjoyed tossing them the extra cash to get a copy of their show on video, now on DVD. They’ve always padded the concert films with a little something extra and for all the talk about them being more of a brand than a band, all valid concerns, they’ve wanted to feed the fan frenzy with the bread and circuses that they know will sell. Hot off the heels of their latest DVD venture, VERTIGO 05 LIVE, the boys are bringing something to Cannes this year and I can’t help but feel like this project just helps to push things forward in capturing an experience that has long eluded filmmakers’ grasps in being faithful adapters.

    For my money U2 3D would be far and away one of the best films that is being screened there out-of-competition. Yeah, you have what hopefully will be one the best reasons to feel good about cream puff cinema, OCEAN’S THIRTEEN, and one that will also hopefully be the death knell for many of the unscrupulous bastards out there working in the health care industry, Michael Moore’s SICKO, but having the chance to mainline some of that same adrenaline you reserve for a good rock concert (and I realize that there are lots and lots and lots of U2 haters out there for one reason or another, in which case, get your own blog and talk about it) and seeing whether this experiment actually delivers is enough for me to actually pay attention to some of the talk that comes out of there in the coming days.

    For more on what this film is about, here is part of the press release:

    “NY-based editorial powerhouse Bluerock announces the 2007 Cannes Film Festival presentation of the film, “U2 3D,” billed as the first live-action concert film shot entirely in 3D and starring the renowned Grammy-winning band, U2. The 55-minute preview is intended to garner buzz for the upcoming full-length feature, and will screen at midnight on May 19th at the Palais des Festivals. Bluerock’s Olivier Wicki edited both the preview and the full-length versions of the film in 2D and it was then put through the 3D process. The film is the latest in a long-standing collaboration between Bluerock and U2’s Bono.

    Bluerock President Ethel Rubinstein praises the film, “Bono and the band set the bar for dynamic performance, and Olivier Wicki used his creative and technical genius to ensure the film portrayed every bit of their awesome talent. We were honored to be chosen as a creative partner.”

    “U2 3D” documents U2’s wildly successful “Vertigo” World tour. Armed with 3D glasses, viewers will now have the opportunity to see U2 in a concert atmosphere without enduring sweaty crowds and high ticket prices. The full-length version of “U2 3D,” featuring 15 songs drawn from over 700 hours of footage, will debut in the fall of 2007. The film was directed by Catherine Owens and Mark Pellington and produced by 3ality Digital, Los Angeles.”

    There is very little I still find enjoyable that I enjoyed throughout high school and U2 is certainly worthy enough of the cred they’re trying to hold onto.

    Check the trailer for U2 3D right here.
    GOOD LUCK CHUCK (2007)

    Director: Mark Helfrich
    Cast:
    Jessica Alba, Dane Cook, Dan Fogler
    Release: August 24, 2007
    Synopsis:
    It all started when Charlie Kagan was ten years old. Breaking the cardinal rules of spin-the-bottle, Charlie refused to lip-lock with a demented Goth girl ““ and she put a hex on him. Now, twenty-five years later, Charlie (Dane Cook) is a successful dentist”¦and still cursed. While his plastic surgeon best friend, Stu (Dan Fogler), pursues as many of his patients as possible, Charlie can’t seem to find the right girl. Even worse, he discovers at an ex-girlfriend’s wedding that every woman he’s ever slept with has found true love ““ with the next guy after him. Before he knows it, Charlie’s reputation as a “good luck charm” has women ““ from sexy strangers to his overweight receptionist ““ lining up for a quickie. But a life filled with all sex and no love has Charlie lonelier than ever ““ that is, until he meets Cam (Jessica Alba). An accident-prone penguin specialist, Cam is as hard-to-get as she is beautiful. But when a genuine romance develops, Charlie realizes he’s got to find a way to break his good-luck curse”¦before the girl of his dreams winds up with the next guy she meets..

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Negative. Just Wicked Awful. A pitch meeting, one afternoon. Two men in shirts that are rolled up from their wrists to their elbows. The office of someone with access to a large checkbook.

    “Hear us out!”

    “Yeah, hear us out!”

    “An amazing comedy!”

    “Amazing”¦”

    “You’ve got a guy”¦”

    “One guy”¦”

    “Who, every time he sleeps with someone”¦”

    “Like sex, not really sleeping you see”¦”

    “They just happen to find their real true love after they do it and dump the guy who they slept with.”

    “Just had sex with, not sleeping.”

    “It’s like a cross between WEST SIDE STORY, AMERICAN BEAUTY and UP THE CREEK.”

    Sold.

    So, I can’t really tell with any degree of accuracy how the pitch meeting actually went for this film but I can say with some degree of possibility that it was the premise, not the script, that was put out there at first and everything else was built around that What-If nugget.

    Dane Cook could really have parlayed his juggernaut success with his second album and crafted a entry into motion pictures that could have further penetrated the American zeitgeist with his own self-made vehicle but it’s kind of telling that, so far, all we’ve been allowed to see of his filmic greatness has been in EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH and now a movie where his dong is supposed to be the lighting rod of divinity for any woman to find their true happiness after he’s worked that cooter for all it’s worth.

    The mechanics of the trailer are a bit jarring, though.

    When we open, and when we don’t really get that his wang has been infused with some kind of mystery ability, it’s probably some kind of STD that hasn’t been identified but hey it’s not my movie, we’re at a wedding and the bride thanks Cook for being her lucky charm. We’re not sure what that’s supposed to mean and it’s not until some old looking lady, I’m kind of shocked they couldn’t find someone a little easier on the eyes, attacks Cook in his parked car, rips her shirt off and explains the whole plot to us. “Ah,” we’re supposed to collectively sigh, “his dork helps women find their true, albeit at the expense of his own happiness and sense of purpose in the world, love!” How funny!

    Cue Scorpions’ “Rock You Like A Hurricane”

    Cook goes on a f*ck spree with tons of women. Wow, this spell he has is really awesome. 120 messages on his voice mail, all from chicks wanting to spread their peanut butter sandwiches open wide for his man-jelly! This is totally my dream! Never mind that real overt homosexual male voice on his VM that says, in a way that some might consider real stereotypical, and damn near insulting, “Thissss is Bob. Juusssth hear me oooouuut”¦”

    Ooo, and then Jessica Alba walks into his life. What savage irony! The one woman who he would want to probably have a relationship with, and who are we kidding, this would be an excellent addition to the Hit-It and Quit-It club, he’s going to destroy it if he sticks it in her! Oh, noes.

    Besides, and I think someone felt like going after another group of people that’s easily insulted, when Cook tries to stave off having actual sex with Alba and puts his curse to the test even though I thought all his other conquests were supposed to be proof of his ability, we’re subjected to an overdrawn clip of Dane preparing to be mounted by a woman who’s large enough that I guess social decorum gets lost after a certain poundage.

    For those keeping score, Alba gets down to her skivvies twice, and remember that’s as close any of you geeks will ever see because she will never ever release the hounds for you to look at. It’s all a bit like 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS tossed in with a real skeevy sidekick who just grates on the senses by the end of this thing.

    It’s all a bit jumbled feels slapped together with a bucket of paste and spit.

    HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (2007)

    Director: David Yates
    Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jason Isaacs Release: July 13, 2007
    Synopsis: In HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, Harry returns for his fifth year of study at Hogwarts and discovers that much of the wizarding community has been denied the truth about the teenager’s recent encounter with the evil Lord Voldemort. Fearing that Hogwarts’ venerable Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, is lying about Voldemort’s return in order to undermine his power and take his job, the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, appoints a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to keep watch over Dumbledore and the Hogwarts students.

    But Professor Dolores Umbridge’s Ministry-approved course of defensive magic leaves the young wizards woefully unprepared to defend themselves against the dark forces threatening them and the entire wizarding community, so at the prompting of his friends Hermione and Ron, Harry takes matters into his own hands. Meeting secretly with a small group of students who name themselves “Dumbledore’s Army,” Harry teaches them how to defend themselves against the Dark Arts, preparing the courageous young wizards for the extraordinary battle that lies ahead…

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Yeah, It’ll Do. You’re either a reader or you’re not.

    I’m one of the latter if for the simple reason that I have scads and scads of more pressing pieces of fiction, and comic books, to consume. Maybe some day I will finally be able to see what has caused such a stir within the collective zeitgeist of this world’s young’uns but, for now, I’m only concerned with how this film presents itself.

    And, for another installment, the trailer is remarkable.

    Who cares that I don’t really get what’s going on here. I applaud the marketers, and trailer maker, for forgoing some lame half-assed attempt to try and fit years of history into the first few moments of the trailer.

    No, instead we get a strange and eerie introduction that lets us know that this is, thankfully, not the land that Chris Columbus built. Maturity seems to reign here and the inclusion of a ghastly looking spirit that seems hell bent on acquiring Harry for some nefarious purpose. What’s more is the use of dark hues to further illustrate that this is not really a jaunty trip into Oz but, rather, another silly movie that will integrate some awfully heady material into the mix.

    Yes, it’s amusing that we’re given the Eragon, flying dragon shot, it’s enough to give you a wicked case of déjà vu, and that the Grand Wizard or whatever the hell these people call themselves without accidentally stepping into KKK territory, but there’s a real attempt to balance the dark and light with an even hand. It works insofar that we see what we’re dealing with in this movie is not so much Harry, Harry, Harry but that there are still other people that inhabit this world.

    From boys riding witches brooms to Hans Gruber whacking some young lad with a book in a really silly manner to a real thunderous crescendo of young wizards coming together to fight what seems to be an upcoming battle between”¦other”¦wizards”¦that”¦seem to exist in this world as well.

    It’s all very silly and, by the end, the use of modern day machine guns and bullets are exchanged for archaic latin-like spell casting and X-Men Jubilee style fireworks that I am to assume really are supposed to be shocking in some manner. It’s dark, yes. It’s foreboding, sure. Is it really as heart-thumping as these actors posture it is? Not so much. I do believe that what we have here is something that will really speak to the core audience in ways that I can imagine a lot of people felt when X-MEN or SPIDER-MAN was done right. Since I can’t fault any kid who found Harry on their way through adolescence I can say though, for me, the ADD style in which we’re shoved through series after series of special effects is a little too much for my taste.

    Maybe if I read the book it would be but, for now, this is all quite just another addition to young boys and girls playing around with special effects.

    THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM (2007)

    Director: Paul Greengrass
    Cast:
    Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine, Edgar Ramirez
    Release: August 3, 2007
    Synopsis: All he wanted was to disappear. Instead, Jason Bourne is now hunted by the people who made him what he is. Having lost his memory and the one person he loved, he is undeterred by the barrage of bullets and a new generation of highly-trained killers. Bourne has only one objective: to go back to the beginning and find out who he was.

    Now, in the new chapter of this espionage series, Bourne will hunt down his past in order to find a future. He must travel from Moscow, Paris, Madrid and London to Tangier and New York City as he continues his quest to find the real Jason Bourne–all the while trying to outmaneuver the scores of cops, federal officers and Interpol agents with him in their crosshairs.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Fu$k Yeah! Doug Liman is a man among men.

    What some people would write off as needless popcorn flicks I would call indispensable. To have action movies that further the case as to why it’s so pretty so see shit blow up, why it’s exciting to watch dudes get their trachea strangled with phone cord and why car chases that end in spectacular collisions, as Martha Stewart would say, is a good thing this series is even better than appreciators of the films would have you believe.

    Action is Liman’s wheelhouse and for him to have not only hand delivered some of the most remarkable action sequences (Who didn’t yell “Fuck yeah!” as Matt Damon rode a dead body down the center of an open staircase, getting off a gunshot to a man’s forehead that could only happen in Hollywood?) in recent years. Even in the case of MR. AND MRS. SMITH, if you can just look beyond the 4th wall of craziness that surrounds Jolie like the vaporized plague, you have a film that you can watch over and over and over again and find something there to like. I do and, even though I don’t boast about it, I even give props to Liman for finding and creating the kind of chemistry that woeful matchups on the screen have a hard time bottling. However, with the addition of Paul Greengrass, the man who added his films as to things you shouldn’t experience if you get motion sickness easily, I wonder if these films will be less relevant under the power of another man.

    I’m going to emphatically say no for the very reasons that his other films did so well as narratives: they feel real in ways that a static camera shot can’t capture. Greengrass is able to harness the thought that if you’re watching an event unravel before your real eyes you’re not especially going to be focused on any one thing for too long. You’re going to drift a little bit and it’s that drifting effect that lends itself, oddly, to this film’s power in a way that’s captivating.

    Now, while I really dig it, I really do, when we seem Damon’s silhouette against the backdrop of a very snowy street, the sense that something bad is going to happen very quickly is communicated loud and clear without a single word or voiceover. The problem, then, is the copious flashbacks to the other films.

    Yes, they’re great and add a lot of context and this is a teaser trailer after all and it’s way too early to get a substantial bead of everything because you want to whet people’s interest, et al, I would argue that the flashbacks are kind of a puss way out to those of us who stayed awake for the first two films.

    Yes, “His memory erased.” Yes, (gack) “His loved one murdered.” Yeah, I get it, moron, “His past stolen.” All just very unimportant and needless for fans of this franchise.

    It’s not until the nicely done statement that Damon is going to find the people that did all this to his life where I get the goose bumps that just seal the moment that Damon, to me, is really the kind of action star that many people easily overlook; the kid is just threatening in ways that Leonardo couldn’t pull off in THE DEPARTED. Damon does look like he’s capable of bad things.

    Boom, some cars crash into each other, Damon does some hand-to-hand, and then uses a book (!) to crush the windpipe of some asshole, Joan Allen is back to deliver the kind of quarterbacking that I hope gets her killed in the end, we even get a treat of Damon doing some wheelies through some real tight quarters on a dirt bike and then, as a little treat, we get Damon’s stunt double jumping from a building into the window of another just across the way. Good, good stuff.

    And the best part? It all feels very verite in ways that other directors only wish they could capture, if for the only reason that it gives the moment on the screen more weight. Now, the average action movie consumer could perhaps be blind to all these elements but I’m feeling respected as a donator to these kinds of productions and that means something.

    DAY NIGHT DAY NIGHT (2007)

    Director: Julia Loktev
    Cast: Luisa Williams, Josh P. Weinstein, Gareth Saxe, Nyambi Nyambi, Frank Dattolo
    Release: May 11, 2007 (Limited), Coming Soon Near You
    Synopsis: A 19-year-old girl prepares to become a suicide bomber in Times Square. She speaks with no accent; it’s impossible to pinpoint her ethnicity. We never learn why she made her decision – she has made it already. We don’t know whom she represents, what she believes in – we only know she believes it absolutely.

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    Prognosis: Very Positive. Inches away from giving up on this trailer, I was.

    Sometimes it’s all about art for art sake and, while that’s fine for some French, impressionistic work that bleeds pomposity, this trailer scales it back and justifies its artistic feel. It’s in the justification and that’s what makes this movie noteworthy. When I saw YOU CAN COUNT ON ME it felt like it drifted more to the side of artistic imagination than it did reality but the subject matter here is made relevant by what many will be dealing with as Baby Boomers creep toward old age. COUNT ON ME didn’t really inform as it did just ramble. There seems to be a real point here.

    One of the best things the trailer does here in order to disarm any notion that the film will be a fetid affair of hardcore seriousness is the exchange Hoffman and Linney have regarding the entire theme of the movie without saying it outright; comparing the seriousness of the situation with their ailing father to Bush’s color-coded threat warning system is just funny. It’s amusing and it contextualizes the nature and relationship this brother and sister have with one another. The graphics that display Hoffman and Linney’s name, with the aforementioned color bars, is a nice touch.

    And, big ups for the brief and almost blink-you-missed-it graphic that states the movie was at the Sundance Film Festival; the red color matte behind the Sundance graphic takes the joke one step further and it was appreciated.

    The siblings meet. They’ve been away from one another for quite some time, Hoffman makes a self-deprecating comment about his own weight, and the sense of place we’re brought into, where geezers get to ride the streets in their golf carts, feels genuine.

    The ailing father that brought these kids together feels like he’s serving a perfunctory role, because it’s all about Linney and Hoffman, but the situation they find themselves in is where the real magic starts to brew. The cheeky music that plays behind Philip’s suggestion they stick pop in a nursing home, and Linney’s reaction to the comment, feels smooth and funny at the same time.

    Eventually, the nursing home is the option that’s going to have to be the right one and the two trying to connect, like fingers of opposite hands coming together, is less absurd than it is illuminating. I like these people and they’re likeable.

    The moment where the two of them play a game of indoor tennis? It lasts all of three seconds but it’s a succinct, telling piece of comedic drama that what follows, their reticence in actually sticking pop in a nursing home, he thinking it’s a hotel, just feels genuine.

    In this age of fractured families, ripped apart by ever increasing numbers of divorce, it’s a curious thing to see how those who have drifted apart deal with having to come back together. It has sold itself well.

  • Trailer Park: Spider-Man 3, A Lesson In Convenience

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Inspired by those wacky geeks over at TWIT I have decided that instead of putting off and putting off and putting off my vow to somehow market my first book I would let people download and read it for free. Give it a preview, read the whole thing or, if you like what you see, send me some kind words or money for the actual book. Download and read my first book “Thank You, Goodnight” for FREE.

    You’re wrong. All of you.

    Yes, it wasn’t superb. Yes, there wasn’t enough Venom and there could be a case as to why there were too many cooks in the kitchen. Yes, the script suffered a case of Michael Chabon-less-ness and we paid for it in the form of needless scenes of Peter constantly crying, at one point I wondered if I had stepped into the Lifetime Network version of the film, but, BUT, you cannot take away from the fact that Sam Raimi created a two-plus hour film with enough going on that you feel an abundance of things could happen at any moment.

    One gripe could be that Harry shifts allegiances more times than a Frenchman during a war or that MJ gives up far too easily on the man who has seen her through so much and that Venom is a mere flicker when he could, and should, have been one of the only focal points in this film, however, what should razzle-dazzle is the multiple storylines that were in constant motion throughout this picture. You had Sandman’s backstory, Brock’s ascension, MJ’s will-she or won’t-she struggle with how Harry gets her all tingly to Peter’s wrestling with what that black symbiote was doing to him. There was a lot to nosh on, yes, but Raimi conducts himself well enough that you forget about a lot of the film’s faults because there is a coherent narrative within all the battling and brusing.

    Peter’s jive talking disco moment? Hilarious in ways that instantly wiped the concern I had that the eyeliner he sported just moments ago wasn’t an indication that this was going to become SPIDER-MAN 3: CURSE OF THE EMO. Topher Grace? One of the best parts of the film; the man embodied raw ambition if there ever was one. In every way Topher was perfectly set up when Peter stripped the black goo (an appalling push-to-the-back of the classroom plot device that was left to languish for far too long without anything done with it until it was way to convenient) but, again, there was too little done with the savage once he became a reality. And what a lame, in every sense of the word, bitch fight between Venom and Sandman? It lasted all of a few seconds, making me wonder if this was supposed to be like schoolboys on the playground who realize it hurts to have an actual fistfight.

    One of the things that I believe, though, is that the film doesn’t suffer from its own largess. It doesn’t really suffer, period. What the issue is, though, is that the plot contrivances which are used just feel, well, comic-book-y; it’s all far too convenient for a lot of the things that happen. There are things that had to happen in order to carry things forward and many of them, MJ’s odd forced confession on the bridge that never gets “taken back” or smoothed over when she is finally able to do so and, again, so much bawling.

    Seriously, I never knew superheroes could cry so much. Shit, even Wolverine and even Cyclops carried off the death of a hot piece of ass with much more stoicism than we were given. I mean, I get it. Bad things happen, you’ve got to show some some emotion and there has to be the sense that Peter is the moral compass of the whole film but come on.

    Aside from all of this, though, you’ve got a movie that is a lot better than people are giving it credit for. I told one of my buddies, Amir, on the way out of the theater that I would absolutely give that film four stars out of five for what it gave me: a star for keeping me entertained for so long, a star for making Venom so damn creepy, a star for Bruce Campbell’s wicked cameo that steals the show and a full star for balancing everyone involved in the telling of a story that eventually limps across the finish line.

    The one star it doesn’t get, though, is for its emotional heft. For the reasons that part 1 and 2 resonate with me even now is the same reason why part 3 collapses with its words. The film’s Teflon. You forget it just as soon as you see it but don’t mistake that for a bad film. There are plenty of films that do a worse job than this one did and, at the end of the day, the movie is everything that a summer film should be: breezy, loud, exciting, fun and completely forgettable. We just got greedy after two excellently written installments. This movie just happened to cash in its syllables for some sizzle on the screen. No matter what you think, though, this is everything that this movie could be. That, to me, is what a lot of people are having a hard time accepting.

    Not me, though. I’m feeling like indulging in some more of what tasted like a cream puff but satiated me completely.

    SUPERBAD (2007)

    Director: Greg Mottola
    Cast:
    Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Bill Hader, Seth Rogen, Emma Stone, Martha Macisaac
    Release: August 17, 2007
    Synopsis:
    SUPERBAD follows a pair of co-dependent high school seniors, Seth (Hill) and Evan (Cera), as they close the chapter on their socially challenged high school years. Invited to the graduation party of the year by their crushes Jules (Emma Stone) and Becca (Martha Macisaac), the guys must outwit jealous boyfriends, unruly partygoers and a couple of very bored cops, Bill Hader and Seth Rogen, in order to get the girls and become the social giants they always wanted to be.

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    Prognosis: Negative. Some people are down on David Spade.

    “Who killed Jesus Christ?”

    “The Jews!”

    Yeah, Spade seems like the kind of squirrelly little sack of annoyance that you’d like to put a boot up of but he did have his moment in PCU where he shined brightly and the moment where he had to answer a litany of questions just to get into his clubhouse was the first thing I thought of when I had to enter my name, birthday and zip code no less than five different ways just to watch this stupid thing. And it is stupid.

    To get what I mean I am used to seeing Red Band trailers that were obviously blue in every sort of way, be it for language or the showing of some lady’s mammaries, and deserved a little heads-up notification just in case some wayward wanderer stumbled upon it but this isn’t even Red. It’s a green trailer, just like any other I would have to watch.

    This ordeal pissed me off enough to rant and take up the deconstruction space here just to rail against this ostentatious grab at making unsuspecting dweeb think he’s about to see the Holy Grail of all naughty trailers. At least TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE tossed in a little blood.

    Now, when I was finally granted entrée into this trailer’s world, thinking that was a lot of work just to see a movie based on an Internet cartoon, but I guess this something else entirely. It was apparent that the low-hanging jigglies of some MILF in training is about as risqué as we’re going to get. Even though it nearly feels like a George Michael interlude for Arrested Development, go ahead and try and tell me that you can’t see the similarity, the odd set-up with George going off to college is a neither really funny or very interesting. It’s weak.

    As well, the proclamation that this movie is coming to us via the brain trust that banked TALLADEGA NIGHTS and THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN doesn’t quite fit, either. You usually want to have that card to go by after something funny happens. As it stands, things are just out of place and I have yet to even realize where the plot is going.

    Thankfully, I’m not helped at all by anything that comes after.

    In an effort to be as obsequious and as obtuse as possible the trailer goes on to explain absolutely nothing. We’ve got George Michael lying to some high school girl about his drunken escapades in order to seem “cool”, a trope that has been there and done it in so many more appealing ways. Even the pedestrian fake id/outrageous fake identity joke, made infamous by WEIRD SCIENCE, REVENGE OF THE NERDS 2 and even (allow me to make the sign of the cross) VEGAS VACATION’s Papa Giorgio did better than the long, unnecessary, unfunny and, ultimately, bad segue for Seth Rogen’s awful jew joke that doesn’t make me want to see the film.

    The rest? Well, it’s more of the same tired, old and busted jokes that made AMERICAN PIE a one hit wonder and a straight-to-DVD pariah. If there is something original to be said about this film is that George Michael’s accidental boob punch of some young girl was actually funny. If there was more of that going on in the film I was hard pressed to be able and find it.

    FAY GRIM (2007)

    Director: Hal Hartley
    Cast: Parker Posey, Jeff Goldblum, James Urbaniak
    Release: May 18, 2007 (Theatrical), May 22, 2007 (DVD)
    Synopsis: A ten-years-later continuation of Hal Hartley’s “Henry Fool”, where Fay Grim (Posey) is coerced by a CIA agent (Goldblum) to try and locate notebooks that belonged to her fugitive ex-husband (Ryan). Published in them is information that could compromises the security of the U.S., causing Fay to first head to Paris to fetch them…

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    Prognosis: Caught In The Middle Of The DMZ. Kooky.

    In some ways, Parker Posey has developed some rather interesting, here meaning odd, choices when it comes to choosing movie roles.

    She’s been an irresistible presence when she’s been in movie roles like PARTY GIRL and BEST IN SHOW but, like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick as it crooks its head in trying to decipher exactly what its seen, her roles in BLADE 3, SCREAM 3, JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS and even SUPERMAN RETURNS makes trying to contextualize her aims in film a real head scratcher. However, you can’t take away her talent when it’s shining like a cop’s blazing Mag-Lite and that’s what comes across in this trailer.

    Immediately we’ve got some good information to go off of: she’s a mother and she has a son that is causing her nothing but pain. She has a mysterious husband that has done the kind of work to attract the attention of the CIA, namely Brundle Fly.

    It’s a little hippity-dippity as you try and piece together the odd bits of how strange these people’s lives are when you account for the whole but it’s Posey’s projected sense of innocence and naivety that’s the real attraction here. But what’s happening here is all prelude to the exact midway point where some of these discordant threads start wrapping themselves into the main plot: Parker is caught up in some sort of esprionage where she is severely ignorant of what’s happening.

    She’s jumpy as all get out, the plucky soundtrack works wonderfully to convey the Benny Hill-ness of what would happen if Jamie Lee Curtis’ role in TRUE LIES was actually tasked with a real mission prior to getting cornered and nearly schtupped in Chet’s double-wide; she’s a dolt in sheep’s clothing.

    A positive nod goes to briefly attaching some kind words from Paper Magazine to at least assuage any layperson’s indifference as to whether this should even rate as a rental later on this year. James Urbaniak is used sparingly but it’s odd that his presence barely warrants any kind of context than what we’re given: he’s a dude that is caught up in this all.

    What I like about the trailer is that while it doesn’t blow off anyone’s doors by any means it, nonetheless, establishes who Parker is, what the crisis is, how Brundle Fly is incorporated to what’s happening and, by the end, a strange sense that this movie is not your average Cat and Mouse, international thriller.

    This is comedy infused with a hint of seriousness and the fact that this movie is being pimped as being available for you to check out from the comfort of your living room on May 18, the day when you can also see it in theaters, makes this a smashing good ad as to what I could spend my weekend doing: hauling ass to the cinema or pushing a button my remote. To have these choices it just entices me further to check it out.

    YEAR OF THE DOG (2007)

    Director: Mike White
    Cast:
    Molly Shannon, Regina King, Peter Sarsgaard, John C. Reilly, Laura Dern
    Release: Hopefully it’s already come and gone from American cineplexes Synopsis: Peggy (Shannon) is a happy-go-lucky secretary – a great friend, employee, and sister who lives alone with her beloved dog. But when Pencil unexpectedly dies, Peggy must embark on a journey of personal transformation that is hilarious, poignant and heartbreaking. YEAR OF THE DOG marks the directorial debut for Mike White who has written Chuck & Buck, The Good Girl and School of Rock.

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    Prognosis: Euthanize It. Here’s a grand idea: Make a trailer that’s bland enough to be mistaken for a piece of stale Wonder Bread, sap anything interesting from it and then make people want to pay to see it.

    This one’s downright awful.

    I think that if you’re trying to boast that you’re one of the creative powerhouses behind CHUCK AND BUCK (a jolly comedy that’s dipped in pure pitch) and SCHOOL OF ROCK (a not so jolly comedy that’s pure retch) having Molly Shannon take up the first quarter or so running time of this movie just bawling her eyes out, the kind you don’t know whether to laugh at or feel sorry for, isn’t the wisest of business angles to take.

    I mean, we have a great idea that she’s torn up over the loss of her dog, Laura Dern makes a lame attempt at capturing that real absurdist parental cliché, and John C. Reilly uses the word “bitch” in a way that infuses the moment with a little levity but the point of the first half of this trailer is to feel bad and miserable for Molly’s loss; it’s not funny, it’s not really interesting and by the time we really get going with what the point of this is all about I’m damn near ready to shove a pair of scissors in my eyes.

    “Even retarded, crippled people get married.”

    It’s about here when Regina King steps aboard this crazy train with all the thunder of a 9-volt battery on the tongue. I’m sure there is some reason why Molly needs to be consoled in this time of misery but I think this trailer misses the larger point: we all know deeply corroded people who, instead of seeking human companionship, use pets to fill their void. I’m not saying they’re any less loony than the rest of humanity but when you get your Christmas cards from these people, usually it’s them all alone with their depressed quadrupeds who’ve been made to wear a Santa hat or some kind of nonsense, it’s enough to make you wonder how else they fill their lives.

    Peter Sarsgaard pops up to play the part of an equally odd pet owner and, of course, zaniness blooms between the two of them when they finally find each other. I would think, after Peter popped in there would be some kind of amplification of comedic or thoughtful talent but, instead, this plotline sort of just meanders by us.

    There is no hook, no marketing angle to really grab a hold of; no, we’re given a lot of drawn out scenes that may very well work to the film’s narrative advantage within the context of the entire picture but when we’re trying to connect the story with the impulse to buy this trailer lacks in various ways.

    One moment, in particular, sums up what happens when Peter and Molly come together as one: Peter admits to sleeping with his dog in bed and that he lets us know he relates more with pets than he does with people. Newsflash to anyone who cares: individuals like this do exist and none of them are nearly as charming as Molly and Peter exude or pretend to be. If I wanted to relive this story in real life I’ll just walk down the hall to Betty, in accounting, whose desk is slathered with photos of her and her Pomeranian and save myself the ten bucks.

    THE SAVAGES (2007)

    Director: Tamara Jenkins
    Cast: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Laura Linney, Philip Bosco
    Release: September 7, 2007
    Synopsis: The last thing the two Savage siblings ever wanted to do was look back on their undeniably dysfunctional family legacy. Wendy (Linney) is a self medicating struggling East Village playwright, AKA a temp who spends her days applying for grants and stealing office supplies, dating her very married neighbor. Jon (Hoffman) is an obsessive compulsive college professor writing obscure books on even more obscure subjects in Buffalo who still can’t commit to his girlfriend after four years even though her cooking brings him tears of joy.

    Then, out of the blue, comes the call that changes everything ““ the call that informs them that the father they have long feared and avoided, Lenny Savage (Bosco), has lost his marbles. And there is no one to help him but his kids. Now, as they put the middle of their already arrested lives on hold, Wendy and Jon are forced to live together under one roof for the first time since childhood, soon rediscovering the eccentricities that drove each other crazy. Faced with complete upheaval and the ultimate sibling rivalry battle over how to handle their father’s final days, they are forced to face the past and finally start to realize what adulthood, family and, most surprisingly, each other are really about.

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    Prognosis: It Made My Weekend. Inches away from giving up on this trailer, I was.

    Sometimes it’s all about art for art sake and, while that’s fine for some French, impressionistic work that bleeds pomposity, this trailer scales it back and justifies its artistic feel. It’s in the justification and that’s what makes this movie noteworthy. When I saw YOU CAN COUNT ON ME it felt like it drifted more to the side of artistic imagination than it did reality but the subject matter here is made relevant by what many will be dealing with as Baby Boomers creep toward old age. COUNT ON ME didn’t really inform as it did just ramble. There seems to be a real point here.

    One of the best things the trailer does here in order to disarm any notion that the film will be a fetid affair of hardcore seriousness is the exchange Hoffman and Linney have regarding the entire theme of the movie without saying it outright; comparing the seriousness of the situation with their ailing father to Bush’s color-coded threat warning system is just funny. It’s amusing and it contextualizes the nature and relationship this brother and sister have with one another. The graphics that display Hoffman and Linney’s name, with the aforementioned color bars, is a nice touch.

    And, big ups for the brief and almost blink-you-missed-it graphic that states the movie was at the Sundance Film Festival; the red color matte behind the Sundance graphic takes the joke one step further and it was appreciated.

    The siblings meet. They’ve been away from one another for quite some time, Hoffman makes a self-deprecating comment about his own weight, and the sense of place we’re brought into, where geezers get to ride the streets in their golf carts, feels genuine.

    The ailing father that brought these kids together feels like he’s serving a perfunctory role, because it’s all about Linney and Hoffman, but the situation they find themselves in is where the real magic starts to brew. The cheeky music that plays behind Philip’s suggestion they stick pop in a nursing home, and Linney’s reaction to the comment, feels smooth and funny at the same time.

    Eventually, the nursing home is the option that’s going to have to be the right one and the two trying to connect, like fingers of opposite hands coming together, is less absurd than it is illuminating. I like these people and they’re likeable.

    The moment where the two of them play a game of indoor tennis? It lasts all of three seconds but it’s a succinct, telling piece of comedic drama that what follows, their reticence in actually sticking pop in a nursing home, he thinking it’s a hotel, just feels genuine.

    In this age of fractured families, ripped apart by ever increasing numbers of divorce, it’s a curious thing to see how those who have drifted apart deal with having to come back together. It has sold itself well.

  • Trailer Park Interview: Missy Peregrym

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    One thing that struck me after I hung up the phone with HEROES’ Missy Peregrym is that she simply talks and thinks like someone who has better things to do than shoot the breeze about NBC’s greatest ratings superpowerhouse since MISFITS OF SCIENCE. Missy is just pleased to be working and didn’t show any signs of contemplating what the show means to her career or life right in this moment.

    She has more pressing issues on her mind.

    From eschewing the typical cookie cutter Actress label and all that entails to really opening up about what it is to be a woman in America, nevermind the fact that one of the unspoken rules of Women’s Fight Club in Hollywood is that you never let on that some of the images and affectations you’re expected to portray in any given role might drive some young lasses to develop an eating disorder.

    What is clear, though, is that besides our mutual disdain and revulsion towards television shows like THE BACHELOR, which should be exterminated, not euthanized, Missy is not an evil shapeshifting mind bender in real life but what she is, though, is a woman who is deserving of the kind of accolades you would bestow on someone who does indeed possess a modicum of power and simply chooses to take the road that is not beset with hordes of Yes-Men and ass-kissers.

    Missy just wants to live a life that’s free of scrutiny over what she chooses from her closet and free to think that while being on HEROES is a gift it’s what you give back, and what you’re willing to believe in, that makes life worth enjoying. She’s honest, direct and deeply insightful and is everything you wish more people in her line of work could be. From raising awareness to the plight of young women to eloquently iterating how it is that dysmorphia runs rampant through those who sup at the fountain of Cosmo Missy, quite simply, is the kind of woman you would hope every daughter could turn out to be. Makes you wonder whether she does possess something special in her DNA.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: So, how are you doing?

    MISSY PEREGRYM: I’ve been doing really good.

    It’s beautiful in LA”¦it’s starting to get warm”¦I’m done filming”¦I don’t know what I’m doing with my life again”¦

    (Laughs)

    You know, the usual.

    STIPP: Well then let me find out, tell me, how HEROES all came about. How long did it take for you to go from interested to having the part itself?

    PEREGRYM: It all happened within two weeks. I auditioned”¦I auditioned on a Thursday or Friday, thought I did absolutely terrible, and I left feeling like, “Forget it. This sucks because this is a great show I want to be a part of but I blew it and I’ll just have to get over it.”

    And then they called back. They said they wanted to see me again and it was between me and another girl and they wanted me back that following Monday. So, after that I think it was like three days and I found out. It was great. Even then we didn’t know how it was going to work out because we had to get my working papers in order as well.

    STIPP: That’s right, you’re from up north.

    PEREGRYM: Yeah”¦I’m an immigrant.

    (Laughs)

    STIPP: And had you been living in LA prior to that?

    PEREGRYM: Oh yeah. I’ve been in LA ever since I came to train before filming STICK IT, I’ve been right here.

    So, I’ve been staying here and I’ve had working papers but it’s only specific to which studio I’m working with at the time. Just because I have working papers, though, it doesn’t mean I can work every production. It’s tough because I’ve lost jobs over it.

    STIPP: Really?

    PEREGRYM: Yeah, there are things I can’t go out for because there’s not enough time to get them done. Recently, there was a pilot”¦it happens all the time.

    STIPP: It must be an odd thing to contend with.

    PEREGRYM: Yeah, it is. It’s incredibly frustrating but it’s so incredibly expensive to get your green card as well and it takes a long time. Eventually that’s really what I have to do and I should be putting in an application but I’m a procrastinator.

    STIPP: Can’t you circumvent the whole thing by getting married in this country?

    PEREGRYM: Yes, I think, but I don’t know how that all works. I think it’s still difficult but I believe if I get married here I have to stay here and can’t go back home for six months or I can go home but”¦it’s all just really confusing. I looked into it and I was proposing to people on the street. No one said yes.

    (Laughs)

    So, it didn’t work out that well.

    STIPP: Has HEROES worked out a little better? How has filming been for you?

    PEREGRYM: It’s been a lot of fun. Sometimes it’s tough because my character”¦I don’t get to do a lot of the stuff. I mean, my scenes, the way they’re written, are amazing. Now, sometimes it’s frustrating because I can’t act them out because everyone else is acting my part and I just pop up at the end and say, “Ha-ha.” So, believe me, it was great to be a part of it”¦I love the show so much and I love my character and I hope I’ll get to do a little more but it’s been a blast and I never thought I could love playing evil so much.

    STIPP: I know you’re billed as a Guest Star”¦

    PEREGRYM: You know, I don’t know what they’re planning for next season. The idea is that I’m coming back but nothing is contractually binding me to that.

    STIPP: Since you’re saying that you don’t get to do much are you on the set a long time out of the shooting day or do you hang out to watch the production as it happens?

    PEREGRYM: Well, no, not really. I’ll be around for my scenes. I have to be around for the entire scene whether or not if I’m in it but when you’re on set, you’re on set for 12 hours and that’s for your stuff. So, even though the camera time isn’t a whole lot it’s the process that takes a lot of time. And it’s important that I’m there as they’re there for my stuff because we both have to kind of interact. We have to do the same things and copy each other from the time that I morph to the time that it’s me. It’s fun, though. I think it’s a fun role for everyone else to play to because they get to step out of their character too and play it a little cheekier than usual”¦except for Ali Larter’s character because she’s already got that going on.

    STIPP: Are you able to prospect for new jobs or is HEROES taking all of your time?

    PEREGRYM: No, it doesn’t take a lot of my time. When it comes to the dates it’s really great”¦the only thing is because there is so much that’s going on, and since they’re really committed to making this the best show, they like to keep you around. They don’t like you leaving town. They like to keep you close. If a shot doesn’t work out or if they don’t complete their day, which happens a lot”¦why? Because it’s a tough show to film”¦That’s frustrating. Sometimes. Sometimes. But, other than that, it’s so easy and I’m really blessed to be a part of that.

    It’s really difficult for those that are the stars of the show because they’re in it all the time and they’re the ones filming 12 hours a day and it’s so tiring but I don’t have to go through any of that. So”¦I kind of scored the best job there.

    (Laughs)

    STIPP: Now, to bring up a point, weeks and weeks ago when you were contemplating entering the fray with this show did you have an idea for how widespread the viewership for HEROES had become? The fanaticism of it all?

    PEREGRYM: When I joined, I knew it was a hit, I knew it was doing really well. But, I don’t think I really understood because I don’t watch a lot of TV. The shows I was a part of LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, shows like that, things I was proud of, they did OK but it’s pretty incredible to be part of a show that’s taking off as much as it is.

    What I’m proud of, really, is that everyone works so hard. The cast and crew are so nice. You just want the best for everyone that’s a part of the project. The actors really put in 100% all of the time and the writing is just genius. Every episode is interesting and I cannot even remember what is going on. I watched last night’s episode [.07%]. I had no idea what I was doing! I couldn’t remember anything because the show moves so fast. But the reason why the show is doing so well is because everyone involved is just so dedicated and creative and works hard.

    STIPP: Is there extensive writing that’s done on the fly or is the script the script?

    PEREGRYM: Yeah. They’re always changes. They’re always rewriting it, all the time. You’ll get the first draft the week before you go to shoot and then you’ll get 500 different colors of all the changes they make. And that’s good because once you’re there to film it, that’s it.

    STIPP: This must also be the first time since you’ve been a part of something so big. Are you being recognized yet by geeks or fanboys of the show?

    PEREGRYM: I really get recognized everywhere else but LA. They leave you alone out here which is great but it’s weird when I do leave I almost forget that I’ve done things and girls will come up to me and I’ll be, “Oh, yeah, I did do that movie”¦” But it’s cool because I have the best fans in the world.

    STIPP: Really? Come on”¦

    PEREGRYM: I have the cutest little girls coming up to me.

    And you know, I thought about it, the only real comic books I read growing up were Archie comics. Like, I was a dork but I was never into that whole Sci-Fi thing, I didn’t watch a lot of TV but the one show that I really did watch was (Laughs)”¦Star Trek: The Next Generation. Every night, 7 o’clock, after dinner, with my family.

    STIPP: No”¦

    PEREGRYM: Yes!

    It makes me laugh because I totally forgot about it until a couple of days ago. I’m down with Worf!

    STIPP: Were you also down with Wesley Crusher, Wil Wheaton?

    PEREGRYM: Yup! And it was only the Next Generation.

    STIPP: What else, then, are you doing with your time while you’re here? Are you spending your summer doing anything in particular?

    PEREGRYM: Well, nothing is confirmed, as of yet but filming for HEROES starts back up at the end of June. There’s not much time to do anything unless it starts right now.

    It’s probably the effects work that’s contributing to that timeline; they are just unbelievable, to be able to do that week in and week out.

    Incredible. They do such a job with it. It’s impressive.

    STIPP: How are they able to churn through all the work that goes into it?

    PEREGRYM: They have two crews, really, to be able and handle it. You can’t even call it 1st and 2nd unit. They have two units that are filming simultaneously because there is so much to do and everything takes a long time. It just takes an extra amount of time.

    STIPP: So, what’s the lead-time then? From shooting a scene to when it airs”¦let’s take last night’s episode”¦nice boots and skirt combo, by the way”¦

    PEREGRYM: Oh my God!

    STIPP: I don’t and wouldn’t comment on something like that but it was obvious”¦and that was at the moment when I was telling my wife about who I was interviewing, obviously she doesn’t watch the show, and she had no clue but when you morphed back and you’re standing there”¦

    PEREGRYM: That’s funny because”¦my character”¦I don’t have to commit to a lot of things. They can adapt me however they want. It’s funny because the wardrobe started out very different than that. And then, on the day of shooting, they’re like”¦we just improvised the outfit. I got a little confused. I was like, “Whoa! I’m kind of getting confused about my character. What’s going on with her? How old is she?” You kind of just have to go with the flow.

    But to get back to when I shot it? Probably a month and a half”¦and not even that because I’m including the production break in-between that”¦when they weren’t airing any new episodes?

    STIPP: Right.

    I’m not looking for scoop, so let me preface the question like that, but without saying anything specific do you think the creators know where they want to go with the series? I’m just thinking of LOST where there’s a real sense that not even they know what’s happening on the island.

    PEREGRYM: I think they have an idea of where they want to go with the characters but realize they don’t tell us very much at all”¦and when I entered they had so many other storylines going”¦and I don’t think they have a lot of time to focus on me when they have all these other things to tie up. I don’t feel my character has alliances with anybody and”¦I can tell you that I honestly have no idea what’s in store with my character.

    Did that answer the question?

    STIPP: Yeah, it did. I just see things from the angle that there are even more balls, characters, that have now entered the fray and, with the exception of a few quality kills, no one substantial has really exited.

    PEREGRYM: And I think that’s why it’s complicated for the writers as well. I really commend them for being able to control that because I think it’s difficult to have intertwining storylines with old characters and new characters while making everything coordinate and make sense. I think it’s tough to do.

    I also believe that what makes the show so enticing is that you never know who’s for good and who’s for bad, What makes the show interesting is that all the people have the capability to do good and bad things based on life experiences or temptations or normal human instincts. And it’s whether you’re going to step-up or back down, whatever the case calls for, and I think that’s what they want to do; they want to take something that’s comic book-y but keep it realistic so that people can relate to it. It’s interesting and it’s cool and it has all these effects of people with superpowers”¦but these people have some very personal, relatable issues that are happening which I think are very basic.

    STIPP: It toes that line between nerdiness and drama”¦You’ve got a girl who’s adopted, you’ve got another who has daddy issues”¦

    PEREGRYM: I think the writers are very good at doing that, keeping the foundation of the show rooted between those two things.

    STIPP: Your parents live in Canada, right? Are they able to see your performance up there?

    PEREGRYM: Yeah they do. Do you know they get it on Sunday night? They get it a day before it gets released here.

    STIPP: I didn’t know that”¦.

    PEREGRYM: Yup. My mom called me and said, “I saw you on HEROES” and I said, “What are you talking about? How did you see that?” “Oh, it’s on Sunday nights”¦” It makes no sense to me. I can’t imagine that whoever is in programming is OK with that because people can blog and say things on the Internet and spoil things for Monday night but I guess it’s not a huge problem. I thought for sure, at first, my mom watched the wrong show but she said, “Well, are you doing other things I don’t know about that are entitled HEROES?”

    STIPP: Does she appreciate your work on the show?

    PEREGRYM: Yeah. Both of my parents are incredibly supportive. I try to go back home as much as possible, get away from LA because it’s good for me”¦It’s nice that I have my family and friends to go to.

    LA can be a wicked place”¦

    You see that kind of thing a lot…I understand why…I can see how that happens but I know LA lives by different rules and standards compared to anywhere else I’ve ever been. I feel more comfortable anywhere else other than here. I just think it’s easy to get caught up in that whether you want to or not.

    I mean I had an issue with the way people thought of me as an actress and everything that goes with that. I hated the stereotypes I was getting”¦and I hated telling people that’s what I did”¦and then with publicity, how you can get caught up with what I’m wearing now. As a result I don’t do a lot of publicity events and I eventually realized I had gone to the absolute extreme so now I have relented a little but there’s so little control over anything here. What you audition for and the jobs you get, that’s based on everyone else’s decision. Sometimes you feel like you’ve just got to let go and trust that things are going to work out.

    And I’m not really speaking from personal experience but I’ve seen it as something I don’t ever really want to be a part of. It’s hard. The power of influence here is crazy, which can be a good thing, but I think it’s really tough to stand up for really good things here because that’s not what sells.

    STIPP: How do you keep from being sucked into that? Is it just the support system that you have around you?

    PEREGRYM: I think it’s perspective. It starts with you. What your priorities are”¦your morals and values and what you stand for. I think, with me, I am really careful about the work that I do and there’s not a lot of stuff that I love but my passion and my heart is for young girls.

    I want young women to respect themselves. I want them to eat food, for God sakes, but I want them to take care of themselves. I want to inspire athleticism within young women”¦ for them to take care of their bodies and it all starts with how you think of yourself.

    For me it’s about being focused on where I want to go and who I am as a person and everything else will fall as it should. But it’s frustrating. It’s definitely hard sometimes. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I live by the ocean and whenever I have a really crazy day I just go to the beach and that pretty much takes care of it.

    STIPP: And I see what you mean. As someone now who is personally invested in how messages come across to young women, being the father of two girls, I can’t imagine how it must feel to be bombarded with mixed messages by how a woman should act and be.

    PEREGRYM: I am so thankful for my parents, I love them for it, because it wasn’t like I had a lot of issues growing up, which I think a lot of them do now, looking at the magazines”¦how you’ve got to be skinny, so skinny”¦all the focus on the superficial”¦it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to help you grow as a person. It doesn’t help you build character and everything that magazines are talking about now will be irrelevant in five minutes; it’s not about developing as a woman, it’s about looking like one.

    (Laughs)

    My dad had three girls.

    STIPP: Oh my”¦

    PEREGRYM: I have two other sisters and we’re all very close. I’ll be 25 in June. So, it’ll be 25, 24 and 22. So”¦good luck. You will be stressed, I can promise you that.

    STIPP: Well, no worries. I’ve already started an elopement fund.

    PEREGRYM: And I think the reason why I have the standards that I do, especially in finding a companion, a man, I want in my life, a lot of that has to do with how my father was with my mom. He was strict but he loved my mom like crazy and I know all the things he put down in front of us as boundaries were to protect us. And, yeah, I hated it. A lot of the things, he wasn’t going to let me date until I was 16. It was like, “I’m not getting married. Let me have a boyfriend!” “It’s so unnecessary to have a boyfriend at that age,” he would say. Now that I do have one it’s very, very important to me that my parents approve of the person that I’m dating because I believe that they know what’s good for me. They know what it’s going to take to have a strong marriage and they’re going to see that I’m respected and loved and taken care of.

    I think it’s important for girls to love and respect themselves and be excited to grow into everything that they are and I think that for them to do that it’s hard because the messages are so construed. I would hope girls try and see what’s really important. I think that when you respect yourself, and you’re happy with yourself, you raise a higher standard for yourself. And when you do that you allow strong people who also believe those things into your life and it’s about quality of life.

    Everyone I know is, “If it’s fun, then just do it.” Yeah, it’s permissible but not everything that’s fun is good for you. It’s about women and girls actually caring what they really instead of being told what they want. Figuring those things out will help you meet better men and it’ll hopefully lead to you having better families, better children, it just goes from there. It’s a chain link really.

    ##

  • Trailer Park: Jamie Kennedy: Man, Myth, Examinator of Societial Underbelly

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    One of the nicest things I am able to do as a person who has a weekly column devoted to trailers is expose you all out there in the cyberiffic ephemera to some of the best and worst in movie advertising.

    This week’s column is unique in that I have two trailers to give you that gives you two different opinions on the phenomena that is Jamie Kennedy.

    On the one hand I am not in any way a fan of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. I saw the program as a shallow attempt to blend his style of comedy, his need to dress up and portray a gaggle of imaginary characters and set it all against a Candid Camera-like backdrop. I didn’t find it amusing. I didn’t see anything particularly brilliant about his humor and the roles he chose in mainstream film only really solidified the theory that he was, essentially, a vanilla alternative to Jim Carrey.

    From there it was a roller coaster of film choices that swung back and forth from good to downright terrible. For every ROMEO + JULIET (he was absolutely fabulous) there was a MALIBU’S MOST WANTED waiting right around the corner. It was unfathomable to me that the guy could do great great work but then make a choice like SON OF THE MASK and it just makes you scratch your head and wonder just what is going on in that man’s mind. He’s obviously not above doing some projects because they have a modicum of ridiculousness in them or even above doing something that’s obviously terrible but the thing is, and here’s the rub, he’s hard to dismiss.

    Kennedy has the kind of talent that eeks out every now and then but with a movie like KICKIN’ IT OLD SKOOL you just have to throw your hands up in the air and just forget everything you’ve ever thought, dismiss all the goodwill you’ve ever slid his way and just seethe with the kind of hate usually reserved for the sneaky bastards that steal food from the your company’s break room refrigerator, especially if the wife packed an extra pudding pop in your lunch.

    The thing, though, is that the same weekend I saw SKOOL I also happened to catch his new documentary HECKLER and it blew my sensibilities away. The guy just rages with brilliance as he confronts the act of heckling and what it means to entertainers and public figures. You, honestly, can watch Kennedy sitting on a couch with a critic that has pummeled him, mercilessly, for his previous work that is, perhaps, worthy of such derision but it feels prickly when you see him confronting the critic and trying to make sense of the depth to which he was pushed asunder. It’s fascinating.

    I’ll save the play-by-play for below but I’m curious what you think out there about Jamie Kennedy: Smart comedian or schizophrenic actor? I honestly believe the guy has to evoke some kind of reaction, one way or the other, from his audience so I welcome your thoughts on this or the trailers below.

    But, before you do that, check out the extended Raiders video that’s used in Kennedy’s HECKLER trailer. I’m still laughing my ass off.

    DIGGERS (2007)

    Director: Katherine Dieckmann
    Cast:
    Ken Marino, Maura Tierney, Paul Rudd, Ron Eldard
    Release: April 27, 2007
    Synopsis:
    A coming-of-age story about four working-class friends growing up in Long Island, New York, as clam diggers. Their fathers were clam diggers as well as their grandfathers before them.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. This movie is an odd duck but it’s for all the right reasons.

    First, what many will probably notice about the film is that its release date, DVD release date, and the date on which it’s going to be available through your television is roughly only ten days between one another. BUBBLE, that see it and forget it film from Steven Soderbergh, kind of petered out to a slow-burn was due to its ambiguous and rather freakazoid premise as a film. Some saw that mass release on all formats as a bad portent for this kind of releasing but I would argue that the reason it didn’t do so well was because it wasn’t the kind of film you would want to rush out and buy, that you would want to rush, period, to see.

    I’m not sure if this movie is The One, something that would really be a good test for how well it will do across all formats, but it’s got Paul Rudd and Maura Tierney and even Ken Marino, one of those quiet killers of comedy, who leads off the trailer with admonishing the use of the word “funeral” with his kids and, instead, couches the request to get his children interested in seeing a corpse as, “Want to see a dead body?” Huzzahs and excitement abound.

    The fact that you have all this comedic talent behind the film and then, from Ken, we switch into Serious gear by setting things up ever briefly isn’t as jarring as it could be. You have the death of a patriarch but there is a sense, initially through casual talk between Rudd, Ken and Maura, that this all about capturing a moment. From the frank discussion about the truth of irony, funny, to the very real problems that this maritime family goes through after the one they depended on has left them is rather compelling.

    Another reason that this trailer stands out from the pack is that there is a loaded cast that could do well in a movie like 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN or WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER but there’s hardly any of that here. This is a real examination of what a family goes through when the support system is gone: Ken has issues with his career, Rudd has problems with finding his place in life and Maura has problems with finding love.

    None of this is funny.

    However, we don’t really care because these people handle all these issues with their senses of humor and that’s what’s different about this production. Ken sums up what makes this an interesting experiment in whether anyone would buy, see or push a button on their remote to see this movie: his kid wants to see JAWS, Ken doesn’t think it would be a good thing, Ken goes on to explain away the ending with the kind of parental force that is at the same time funny and real.

    I hope it’s not a failed experiment.

    KICKIN’ IT OLD SKOOL (2007)

    Director: Harvey Glazer
    Cast: Jamie Kennedy, Miguel A. Nunez, Maria Menounos, Michael Rosenbaum, Bobby Lee
    Release: April 27, 2007
    Synopsis: In 1986, a freak break dancing accident put Justin Schumacher in a coma. Now, 20 years later, he (Jamie Kennedy) is waking up to a new world and discovering that the more things change, the more he’s stayed the same. With the girl of his dreams (Maria Menounos) engaged to marry his grade-school nemesis (Michael Rosenbaum), and his parents drowning in the debt of his medical costs, Justin must rally his former squad, bust a move, and win back the girl of his dreams.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Wicked Negative. This your bush?

    I think that Jamie Kennedy is amusing. I think he’s really done well for himself and has established a fairly solid history for what his legacy will be when he finally passes on. I just am of the belief, however, that his comedy is middle of the road and doesn’t really do anything to further what those have come before him have done to try and push the boundaries of what can be funny.

    It’s not meant to be a slam against what he does because, all things being equal, he’s a solid 6.5 on a 10-point scale. He’s not breaking any new ground or cutting a path through a thicket of land no one’s ever seen before but when you look at this trailer that’s exactly the kind of thing you should be thinking by the time it’s over.

    It’s like BIG meets 13 GOING ON 30. Not the greatest way to walk into a pitch meeting, it wouldn’t open my wallet, but someone did and the trailer plays Color-By-Numbers. The bland voiceover tells us everything we need to know about this movie by the time we hit the 15-second mark and kudos to them. I can’t really hold anything against the intro because it does a solid job with setting up his life, his love interest, the situation of him being in a coma for 20 years following a break dancing move and the fact that Christopher McDonald is just a solid supporting actor in comedies.

    The problem, then, is the plot of this movie. Whereas you have trailers that try and snowball you into thinking they’re something that they’re not this movie actually puts itself out there and kind of reveals all the goods. From the go-to gag of exposing an ignoramus to the powers of Internet porn, to the dropping of any 80’s nostalgia (Star Search, He-Man, arcades, et al) in order to make the situational comedy more “gettable” by your average Gen Xer, the demo this movie is obviously and overtly aimed at.

    From the preposterous setup that there just happens to be a dance-off that just happens to award lots of money and just happens to be close enough where two old rivals, played with about as much nuance as an atom bomb going off in the middle of Nagasaki. It’s lazy storytelling would be far worse to me if this trailer just didn’t succeed in doing everything that it needed to do in order to be effective.

    See, it’s not my place to point out the effectiveness of Vivica A. Fox’s bitch slap that’s funnier than shit but, rather, it’s my duty to explain that, as a trailer, it did everything it needed to do. It’s hard to rail against something that I sure as hell won’t spend any scratch on, and would try my hardest to keep any others from doing so either, because this trailer doesn’t hide what it is. It’s pleased as piss to just put it on display and let people bask in its milquetoast mushiness.

    If ever there was a trailer that exemplified a C+ student, you need not look any futher.

    HECKLER (2007)

    Director: Michael Addis
    Cast:
    Louie Anderson, Dave Attel, Vince August, David Cross, Mike Ditka, Craig Ferguson, Tom Green, Jamie Kennedy, Jewel Kilcher, Bill Maher, Howie Mandel, Patton Oswalt, Joe Rogan, Rob Zombie
    Release: Coming Soon
    Synopsis: HECKLER is a comedic feature documentary exploring the increasingly critical world we live in. After starring in a film that was critically bashed, Jamie Kennedy takes on hecklers and critics and ask some interesting questions of people such as George Lucas, Bill Maher, Mike Ditka, Rob Zombie, Howie Mandel and many more. This fast moving, hilarious documentary pulls no punches as you see an uncensored look at just how nasty and mean the fight is between those in the spotlight and those in the dark.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (Flash)

    Prognosis: Wildly Positive. I am, really, an old school comedy lover.

    One of the best Kids in the Hall sketches has Bruce McCulloch and Mark McKinney as two of the most slimy, unscrupulous salesmen. They’re hawking a product called Poreef, a meat blend consisting of beef and pork, and are trying to unload it on a pack of easily sold sheep who are looking for a deal at their supermarket. One of the customers, an old woman, interrupts the sales pitch. Bruce, annoyed, fires back with, “Ma’am, do I come to your job and jump up and down at the end of the bed?” Realize, as well, that it took a moment the first time I heard it for me to understand that even though this was scripted sketch comedy it was still very funny.

    As such, this is Jamie Kennedy’s bush right here. Make no mistake about the starkness of what this documentary deals with, the business of dealing with those who want to interject their own brand of humor to a working comedian’s office, and the trailer really impresses.

    What’s so notable is that it opens up right in the middle of what the film is about with no context other than Jamie is making a documentary about something. The heckle that’s tossed out first is actually quite good, and one I’ve thought about Jamie for quite some time, only for him to soothingly take the heckler to task for his interruption.

    We churn through a few comedians and their thoughts on the subject, Joe Rogan, who ought to win some kind of medal for this coup d’etat of massive proportions, steps in with a succinct appraisal of the situation, David Cross slips in with a quick comment but it’s really the heckle by a Raiders fan after a Texas Tech football game that’s interwoven between shots of Mike Ditka (?) and other comedians’ feelings on the matter that gets a laugh out of me.

    Jamie is absolutely right to explore this social custom that seems to pervade many different avenues, not just stand-up comedy, but it’s the trailer’s frankness and inclusion of how Jamie himself deals with moments where lesser people might find themselves shaken off their game but, for him, it’s just another part of the career.

    That’s where Michael Richards’ career-screeching screed comes in.

    Things get a little spicier. A comedian is shown getting punched in the face by an audience member who rushes the stage. Dave Attell weighs in on why all comedians should retaliate against hecklers with violence of their own. Some guitar wielding comedian distributes some of his own brand of Whoop Ass to an unfortunate loudmouth and, again, Jamie switches gears.

    The trailer contextualizes the final 1/3 of what we see here in that Jamie invites his critics into his movie to openly berate him about the roles he’s chosen to play and for them to be brutally honest about what they think of his work. It’s astonishing to watch if for no other reason than that anyone else, I would assume, in his position would just collect the paycheck and move right along. Some of these critics have real prickly things to say to his face. It’s great to watch simply for the thrill of seeing how this fits into his overall thrust of the film. And it does it seamlessly.

    From other comedians to Jamie turning things back around on the critics he invited to share some screen time with him as they discuss the reviews they wrote about him this trailer easily has found a welcome spot in one of the best previews I’ve seen this year.

    SEVERANCE (2007)

    Director: Christopher Smith
    Cast: Danny Dyer, Laura Harris, Tim McInnerny, Toby Stephens, Claudie Blakleye
    Release: May 18, 2007
    Synopsis: Working nine to five is a real killer, but teambuilding holidays can sometimes be even worse. A coach lurches out of the hustle and bustle of Budapest and heads towards the mountainous border. Aboard are seven employees of the international weapons manufacturer Palisade Defence, global suppliers of innovative weaponry for the past 75 war- torn years. The lucky group are being treated to a team-building weekend at the company’s newly built luxury spa lodge by their president, George Cinders.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be afraid, very afraid. And that’s kind of nice.

    What makes SHAUN OF THE DEAD so interesting as a vehicle for film study is its blend of comedy and horror. Now, mind you, I wouldn’t say that SHAUN has the kind of horror blend that you would have seen in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, really the best one of the bunch, and that it’s more comedy than it is horror, but there was a real dedication on everyone’s part to not minimize either one of those blends.

    That’s what I’m hoping is being done here.

    For those who have ever been on a business retreat for those touchy-feely, granola chewing managerial types that think by stealing away for the weekend is any way for people to come closer together it is a nightmare of the oddest proportions. It kind of feels like you’re still “on the clock” but your attire and office scenery is just slightly askew; rather, it’s like a netherworld that denies you any sense of real comfort.

    This trailer solidly blasts through the front gate and sets it all up for anyone who has never been on one of these business getaways some idea of what’s supposed to be done on them. Except, of course, you get the manager’s idea of what it’s to be but it’s the underlings who always try and find a way to undermine the entire experience. And that’s what you have here. The voiceover is a bit too Yankee for my liking, this after all an English film, and the choice of music for the background is quite discordant from what’s happening on the screen but you are, however, introduced to the colorful blend of co-workers on this trip. Keep your eye out for the Unexpected Perks guy. Lucky sod, he is.

    Then Survival pops up on the screen.

    Without so much as a warning we’re thrusted into this new world of kill or be killed. I was a bit confused, still am, about whether some people IN the company are out to kill each other or whether these are forest people just out to kill those AT the company. Regardless, and points are going to be deducted for having to make me think of what the right answer is, the flourish of a flame thrower, an RPG that goes rogue and a bus that flips onto its side after a wicked correction on the road is sweet enough to put me back in my place.

    What follows from here is just a wetworks and attrition of the greatest degree. People seem to be devolving right in front of us, others are killing people in their shirts and neckties and, curiously enough, we aren’t allowed in on the secret of who provoked and is sustaining the campaign of death on these people.

    Sometimes it’s better not knowing and in the case of this trailer it’s a lot like knowing when the company’s going under: not knowing when it’s coming can be a lot more entertaining.

  • Trailer Park: Does The Suit Sling One’s Knackers With Cool Comfort or Painful Pressure?

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    1. Quick note: American audiences have been given the go-ahead in the quest for figuring out what exactly is going on in SPIDER-MAN 3. What I find curious, and this was the subject of a long afternoon lunch I had with a fellow geek on this issue, is what movies can you name that had multiple story lines and still successfully managed to serve the overall ethos of what the film aimed to do? We couldn’t really come up with anything that would assuage the thought that you could really have one movie per villain/story arc and how much are the odds stacked against a film, Raimi or not, that has to open and close, start and finish, and deal with so much on the personal levels of all involved?

    There’s simply no question that this is going to be a thrill ride. That much is certain. However, and this is a big however, how do you serve all these threads without minimizing anyone’s involvement to the movie? It’s not tempering a nerd’s hunger like mine to find out but after you see the film’s last and final trailer of what supposes to be Raimi and Co.’s last film together, although there are a few more zeros that could make anyone’s bad back a little more nimble, there just isn’t any way to try and grasp exactly what the focal point is of the film.

    The devil is in the details; let’s hope that it’s there on the screen.

    2. I usually don’t run these sort of things in this space but I received this and thought some of you out there would enjoy this press release. To be honest, I am a wicked huge fan of videos like this. I mean, seriously, just click this link and watch it. Watch it. But one of the things that I would find most compelling on sites that rely on 3rd party content, when you’re trying to wade through the R-Kelly, lip-syncing 13 year-olds or young men trying to act out “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” in various forms of dress, are perhaps the more meaningful ways in which user-generated content seeks to say something instead of being something. I can’t say with any degree of certainty whether this site below will be able to be the next gen in what could perhaps be the next evolution but it did catch my eye and I wanted to pass it along for your perusal.

    DUO TAKE REALITY TO ANOTHER REALM WITH LAUNCH OF

    YOURTRUMANSHOW

    New Portal Goes Live In April Bringing Real Life Stories to the Web

    San Francisco, CA April 12, 2007 Italian businessmen Arturo Artom and Luca Ferrero have found the perfect name for their new portal based biographical video blog. YOUR TRUMAN SHOW. The site, which goes live in April, will put real life on line, hosting original stories and vignettes following people’s lives and allow viewers to interact with the content, rating those stories they watch. It’s a unique twist in content development for user-generated sites as YOUR TRUMAN SHOW is not reliant on third party copyrighted material to help perpetuate its audience, but solely on the creativity of its own users within the internet community.

    The massive engine required to handle the interactive content ambitions of YOUR TRUMAN SHOW will be based in San Francisco , where it was designed by founder Luca Ferrero and his technical team.

    Arturo Artom, who raised the initial capital funding from both ltaly and the U.S, is rewarded as one among the most innovative Italian entrepreneurs. A pioneer in the new generation telecom business, in the early ’90s he was the first in Italy to challenge the teclo monopolist. Artom also founded Netsystem, which is now the European leader in the ADSL via satellite technology, and, recently, launched a new intelligent lighting system company, Muvis, that quickly became an international case study.

    In the wake of recent lawsuits by media giants against other sites in the same vein, YOUR TRUMAN SHOW was determined to find a way to bring people together for the user experience that new generations are craving. Gen X and Gen Y audiences are now the driving force within the internet space and are consumption ambitious. The original “real” content in YOUR TRUMAN SHOW will offer audiences a way to connect and network, as well as relate to situations that may be applicable in their own lives. It will contain everything from stories about a recent job loss to a couple in crisis to the shy guy in search of the right woman and the first portal to allow video bloggers to tell their experiences on line.

    YOUR TRUMAN SHOW founders Artom and Ferrero stated, “People today are entranced by what happens in other people’s lives and reality television has become a phenomenon. Equally, the internet has provided a means to reach millions, sharing personal stories, pictures, communications, home-made videos and user-generated content. The idea behind our site is simple in that it links communities together globally, providing a glimpse into people’s lives and the chance to interact with that material on a personal level. It’s almost like a permanent “Big Brother” composed of thousands of little brothers”. Participants and viewers will engage in the interactive site, voting for their favorite video blog and developing stories based on others experiences. The potential to spin the most popular and interesting into other delivery platforms is enormous as content remains king, whether on television or as theatrical motion pictures.

    Negotiations are currently in place with a media company to lock such deals in place.

    After I read this, I got curious.

    I’m painfully sick of those who plant their demo reel on YouTube, Lonely Girl 15 springs to mind awfully quick, and asked what this site was going to do to set itself apart from all the other video sharing locations that are springing up like Starbucks all over the Internet.

    This was the response regarding what Your Truman Show.com really is:

    Basically this website is YouTube meets a host like MySpace. As you know, on YouTube one can watch different videos, rate them using a 5 star system and make comments, but it’s not a blog-centric site. MySpace is great because you can post videos and have links that go to your blog page/sites if you have one ““ but it’s not a universal platform for everyone to participate in ““ its only for invited friends.

    Your Truman Show is YouTube with a video-blog platform which doesn’t exist anywhere else on such a large scale. The creator, Arturo Artom is aiming to bring 1 million lives together in 1 single environment. As you can see from the attachments, YTS has a very unique rating system, that rates not just the videos themselves, but people’s actual lives ““ from the dramatic, to the comedic, romantic, interesting etc”¦

    Arturo compares YTS with other websites that you search for best hotels, best restaurants etc by looking at someone’s comments & reviews on the website”¦well YTS is similar in that it will have reviews and comments on people’s lives but also be the point of reference for all video-bloggers on the net.

    YTS has numerous possibilities of outreach to millions of unique users. Any person can put their lives up for display, be rated, possibly highlighted, moved to the homepage where their unique life/story could be used as a powerful marketing tool, possibly for fame, or a job, anything.

    Consider me hooked on the idea. I think reality, true reality, and, yes, I do realize what happens when you turn life’s lens in on itself. It’s kind of a watched pot never boils kind of thing. However, as with any endeavor you really are sorting the wheat from the chaff anyhow. If you get some shining stars in there then I think a more personal, less nut shot oriented, site like this stands a chance to be something more than it is.

    MR. WOODCOCK (2007)

    Director: Craig Gillespie
    Cast:
    Seann William Scott, Billy Bob Thornton, Susan Sarandon, Ethan Suplee, Amy Poehler, Emily Wagner, Evan Helmuth
    Release: October 26, 2007
    Synopsis:
    Seann William Scott stars as John Farley, a self-help author who returns to his hometown only to discover that his mother (Sarandon) has fallen in love with his old high school nemesis, Mr. Woodcock (Thornton) ““ the gruff, no-nonsense gym teacher who had put him through years of mental and physical humiliation. Determined to prevent history from repeating itself, John sets out to stop his mother from marrying the man who had made life miserable for him and his classmates.

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    Prognosis: Negative. Billy.

    Billy, Billy, Billy. Billy Bob. Bill-a-rino.

    What is up with these choices of yours? Did you buy a Twister set at Kay-B-Toys, throw away the petroleum-based game pad, keep the fun dial and just start putting absurd “acting” choices based on what big ticket item you want to buy with the paycheck you’re going to get alongside winner ideas like THE ASTRO-NOT-GONNA-SEE-IT-ANYWAY FARMER? Is it really that simple to figure out the calculus of your methodical madness?

    I think it is.

    You see, when you open up into a movie like this, Bill is just trying to channel that R. Lee Ermey spirit in which no one, really, has ever been able to co-opt in a way that rivals the original. It’s almost painful to watch Thornton just play the part of the sadistic gym coach. He should have learned THAT role from the masterful artist who perfected that one, a man he just acted alongside in FARMER, Marshall Bell, when he donned that leather outfit in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2; scary shit all the way around, people.

    Anyway, we get it. Thornton is a mean dude and Seann William Scott is the victim in this viscous circle only to, ta-da, be well-adjusted years later only to, ta-da, confront those same moments when we finds out, ta-da, Thornton is about to be his new step dad.

    I wanted to try and actually find something amusing about how obnoxiously well-paid someone got for writing this pile of warm dung but it wasn’t until Billy Bob plundered the Matt Dillon funniness of THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY when he ranted about “retards” that really made me feel like high-fiving that blood rocking hipster. I mean I wish I could chose to do a flick where all I had to do was be an asshole and get paid for it but since I don’t have the ability to just call-in a few weeks of work, or be asked to participate in a scene where I get to beat Scott up with a bat and then give an off-the-wall, not to mention devoid of anything remotely amusing, answer as to why I did it, I just have to stand in awe of the man’s intelligence in figuring this whole game out.

    Ethan Suplee, last seen rocking my face off in THE FOUNTAIN, Sean William Scott and Amy Poehler, a woman who was great in the Upright Citizens Brigade but lost some of that bite with SNL, all make great cases why they’re good to look at in a movie like this but I can’t find a single reason, apart from the treadmill gag, I preferred the hotness of that Gillette ad with the lady eating it or the Jackass crew setting the standard for anything involving pain and exercise equipment .

    As it stands, this film doesn’t look like anything remotely resembling a comedy for me and I sure don’t want to assist Billy in financing that new yacht that, if WILD HOGS is any indication, the rest of you will.

    DAY WATCH (2007)

    Director: Timur Bekmambetov
    Cast: Konstantin Khabensky, Vladimir Menshov, Valery Zolotukhin, Maria Poroshina, Galina Tunina, Victor Verzhbitsky, Dima Martynov
    Release: June 1, 2007
    Synopsis: Featuring the cinematic vision of cutting-edge Director/Writer Timur Bekmambetov, DAY WATCH (DNEVNOI DOZOR) is the next installment in the best-selling sci-fi novels of Sergei Lukyanenko. When the previous installment, NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR), was released in its native Russia in July 2004, it became an instant smash hit breaking all film gross records in post-Soviet history. A dazzling mix of state-of-the-art visual effects, amazing action sequences, and nail-biting horror set in contemporary Moscow, DAY WATCH (DNEVNOI DOZOR) revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness — the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides..

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    Prognosis: Positive. Horses going through brick walls?

    Hell yeah.

    I am not really a fan of equines, I think they’re just big dogs that people with too much money think are great to keep as pets, but when used in the correct action sequences they are pretty to look at. INDIANA JONES, LORD OF THE RINGS, 300, the list could be populated with good uses of these Great Danes with hooves. The beginning of this trailer gets my attention, and throttles it for all its worth, for incorporating them into the bullshit story of the forces of light and dark and blah blah blah.

    You can’t help but admire the composition of the snowy landscape as we all walk into this world without any real knowledge of what we’re looking at. The blizzard-like fury blowing against the lone Alamo evokes desolation but the voiceover that we’re privy to helps to bring us all up to the correct speed.

    Regardless of what this story is really dealing with, I haven’t a clue who is the warrior of light or dark here and could really care less, it’s the Asian horse jockey who runs straight into the fortress armed with ninjas that really turn up the amplitude.

    People getting knocked in the face, guys laying down their enemies with samurai swords in slow-mo, the all out battle royale that cumulates into the transition to contemporary Russia is rather smooth. I still don’t know what’s really what but it’s nice to look at.

    Absurdity follows, in such a big way, when dudes are running through subway trains, faces are falling off, people are recoiling through doors after getting some shoe leather in their chest and then, without so much as an explanation, some bearded Viking guy shows up in full chain mail and starts whipping around a broad blade. What the fuck?

    Now, about at this point we get that it’s all about some piece of white chalk. I don’t know what this chalk is supposed to do but, who cares, when you have guys leaping into mini-mall directories only to disappear and then emerge in basements. You’ve got guys walking through barren wastelands, you got a guy with glowing red eyes and enough special effects to make you wonder if this movie cost more than the GDP of the country that seems to enjoy killing its critics in the media.

    I don’t care what your response is to this trailer but you have to, just have to, give it up to the effect and moment where the guy stops a bus with his body; the physics of it just seem perfect as does the wicked awesome power slide of the car that spins out on the vertical face of a building.

    Превосходно!

    I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY (2007)

    Director: Dennis Dugan
    Cast:
    Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Dan Aykroyd
    Release: July 20, 2007
    Synopsis: Adam Sandler (Click) and Kevin James (Hitch) team as two straight guys who stumble down the aisle with the best of intentions in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Chuck Levine (Sandler) and Larry Valentine (James) are the pride of their fire station: two guy’s guys always side-by-side and willing to do anything for each other. Salt-of-the-earth widower Larry wants just one thing: to protect his family. His buddy Chuck also wants one thing: to enjoy the single life. Grateful Chuck owes Larry for saving his life in a fire, and Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his own two kids as his life insurance beneficiaries. All that Chuck has to do is claim to be Larry’s domestic partner on some city forms. Easy. Nobody will ever know.

    But when an overzealous, spot-checking bureaucrat becomes suspicious, the new couple’s arrangement becomes a citywide issue and goes from confidential to front-page news. Forced to improvise as love-struck newlyweds, Chuck and Larry must now fumble through a hilarious charade of domestic bliss under one roof. After surviving their mandatory honeymoon and dodging the threat of exposure, the well-intentioned con men discover that sticking together in your time of need is what truly makes a family.

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    Prognosis: Negative. Here’s an actual novel idea: Why not create a movie that would deal with a gay man who actually has to act like a straight man and exist in a straight world?

    You know, you could actually objectify straight men and the rampant homophobia and feelings about the gay community as one of their own tries to integrate himself for some flimsy reason? I would want to see that movie but, for some reason, I can’t imagine that a=]n hour and a half of homophobic jokes and set-ups could be worth any bit of my time.

    I can’t help but feel insulted right off the bat by the overtly racist representation of an Asian by Rob Schneider. I know it’s a joke but why do we have to have the Charlie Chan wannabe as the officiant for the gay wedding between Sandler and James? I can’t explain it but it’s distracting to the point of bothersome.

    At the point where the two are to kiss, and this of course being a comedy, we get Sandler smacking James because, you know, kissing him would probably be “faggy.” And, really, I would be fine with that. I don’t hold myself up as some moral authority but it’s just gauche in every way.

    Also, when we establish that this marriage is a sham just to take advantage of the pension system of the city’s fire department it’s just insulting to reiterate the point, again, just in case the folks in Peoria didn’t catch it a few seconds prior. But this is par for this Frisbee golf course, I guess, when some representative of the city drops by to talk about their domestic partnership and causes James to completely and totally lose his shit while on a ladder and physically causes him to lose all motor functions, tumbling down to the ground, Griswold CHRISTMAS VACTION style. Slapstick this isn’t.

    Oh, and then we get Jessica Biel. This marriage was supposed to be so important to these two idiots that the trailer has them thrown into a tizzy when we see her bend over to get a file, her butt on full display, and Sandler is barely able to contain his heterosexuality because, ya know, whenever hotness bends over you gots to lose all self-control, right?

    What follows is a lot of nonsense. I guess it’s supposed to make me want to see the movie, you’ve got a kid who mispronounces “homosexual” (How cute!), James tangles with a perfectly wrapped love doll (Whoa! How amusing!), and then you have the real touching moment where things get serious when Sandler just can’t leave his libido at the door as he tries to sex up Biel (Oh noes! They’ll get caught!).

    Not to worry, though, as things get oh so funny again as Sandler is so idiotic, can you believe this, that he mistakes James’ boxers for a pillow case! John Candy would be proud that you could recreate the fat man’s undergarments joke in such a new way.

    But, the best part of this trailer? Jessica Biel in her B&P, all wet, mincing around and her big jigglies just begging to be squished and motor boated. I think I replayed this moment a few times to see Biel in what some heterosexual geeks would label all her QuickTime gloriousness.

    The way this movie leaves me, though, with the faux fight between Sandler and James, which I take it is supposed to be a real fight but somehow their gay fakery bleeds into their trying to be straight but their fight sounds like a fight between two gay men which, I suppose, if you think about it, is supposed to be all sorts of funny n’ shit. It’s just a lame attempt at humor and it is just not amusing.

    Biel’s boobs, though, are well worth waiting to look at.

    HALLOWEEN (2007)

    Director: Rob Zombie
    Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, William Forsythe, Ken Foree, Danielle Harris, Adrienne Barbeau, Clint Howard, Courtney Gains, Daryl Sabara, Brad Dourif, Udo Kier, Kristina Klebel, Daeg Faerch, Pat Skipper, Dee Wallace Stone
    Release: August 31, 2007
    Synopsis: Rob Zombie’s vision of this film is an entirely new take on the legend and will satisfy fans of the classic “Halloween” legacy while beginning a new chapter in the Michael Myers saga. This new movie will not only appeal to horror fans, but to a wider movie-going audience as well. It will not be a copycat of any prior films in the “Halloween” franchise.

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    Prognosis: Think Of It As A Work In Progress.

    Note Bene: For reasons that string back to the MPAA’s long arm of the not-so-lawful they have removed the trailer from Yahoo! Movies for its strong content. Even though the proverbial and perennial Internet has made every argument about a cat in a bag being let out moot, the link here goes to YouTube where you can still enjoy what Rob’s intended. However, one weird fact remains: if the MPAA gave the green rubber stamp at the beginning of this trailer, it obviously deemed it innocuous enough to only Green Band it and not slap it with a Red one, then what the f is the big mo-funkin’ deal? Talk about the movie CAPTIVITY all you like and their lame billboard campaign but that still doesn’t excuse one organization’s inability to properly manage itself, causing others to have to buckle at their whim. Lame asses.

    I would posit that the reason why so many late 90’s horror movies failed to be perennial bellwethers, apart from the crap writing, the crap acting and the real crap directing, is the use of modern techniques and technology.

    To illustrate the point you can go right ahead and take a look at films like FINAL DESTINATION or I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, even the sinisterly bad H20, and see the modernity of modern cinema making the environments look like contemporary movie sets, the players look like they’re fresh from the latest Abercrombie and Fitch ad campaign and, worst of all, no real dedication to enhancing the scare factor beyond just superficial thrills.

    HOSTEL, SAW and those who have seen a huge resurgence in the last few years have done well because they’re everything that the former films were not: gritty, scary and there was a dependence on solid storytelling, the spooky/fireside kind of storytelling, that has elevated the genre. Rob Zombie’s entry, the man who surprised a lot of people with the DEVIL’S REJECTS, has an especially good flavor as you get settled into his interpretation of Myers’ world.

    While I do appreciate the playful eeriness of having the MGM logo and Dimension Films logo all moldy green, having the trailer appear to look like some decaying home movie, I am not all that thrilled with the voiceover that seems like a lazy attempt to contextualize what we’re seeing instead of having the film do it on its own.

    It’s disappointing as well because we’re given some really creative clips, again, the home movie motif, against the backdrop of Michael’s initial rampage. And the rampage! Homeboy is shown slyly taking out a big ass pig sticker and then moves on to the gunmetal Louisville. His sister doesn’t know what’s coming and I’m fairly surprised we’re shown as much as we are. Wicked awesome.

    I didn’t know Michael had such a lovely long blonde mane but I do like the catch-it-or-miss-it superimpose of what will eventually be his trademark pale mask but the set-up is absolutely perfect. It’s in, out and on its way to something else.

    Now, what’s confusing about what follows after this is that, save for the fact that I know the answer because I’ve been reading about it, as a casual viewer I’m not sure if this movie is supposed to be a retelling of the first movie or if this is a different story altogether.

    It doesn’t help that Voiceover Guy is yapping in my ear as the quick clips that we’re given are about as discordant as you could get. Someone is getting chased down the street, Meyers is carrying some dead body like it’s a noble prize, some lass gets yanked out from the passenger side of a car, Myers peeps some unsuspecting, nude lady and, to end it all, I have to admit I liked the quiet moment that’s broken up by some screaming woman (what is it with our collective delight in killing the ladies?) who tries to get away from Michael only to be pulled back into the house, door slamming shut behind them.

    Good start but there is real room for improvement with regard to enhancing the scare factor.

  • Trailer Park: Just Spit It Out

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    I still can’t get over Danny Glover’s mumble-mouthed performance in THE SHOOTER.

    I mean, really, didn’t anyone feel like the Miracle Ear lady when they leaned over to their significant other in asking, “What the hell did he just say?” It really did seem like Danny poured a whole Val-U pack of rainbow Skittles into his mouth just prior to shooting any scene he was in.

    And no one is saying, or reporting, on what has to be the worst case of annunciation ever captured on screen; for all I know, SHOOTER was actually some kind of training film for those afflicted with fricative or glottal issues in their throat. From the near spittle that was just yearning to be let loose on the faces Danny was aimed at to the saliva you were just hoping he would swallow, like he was keeping it in his mouth for as long as he could as a bet, there is no denying that this linguistic problem came and went without so much as a peep from anyone else.

    It’s also not like I have an issue with those who have to try a little harder with getting their words out properly and clearly. I still am a big fan of Ed Begley Jr’s work as Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development and who would argue with the tonal delight in listening to Wallace Shawn in THE PRINCESS BRIDE as he debates a debate, or as his turn as a goofy dinosaur in TOY STORY, but, really, when you have to compare Sergeant Murtaugh to that chick wearing braces in 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN right before she goes down on Steve Carell there’s a problem.

    Someone should have waited until Glover was finished with his Invisalign treatment. I really appreciated Marky Mark’s turn as G.I. Joe action hero like everyone else but, really, if I can have one wish for the DVD it would be for Danny’s lines to be accompanied with subtitles.

    SUNSHINE (2007)

    Director: Danny Boyle
    Cast:
    Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Chris Evans, Troy Garity, Cillian Murphy, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benedict Wong, Michelle Yeoh
    Release: September 14, 2007
    Synopsis:
    Fifty years from now, the sun is dying, and mankind is dying with it. Our last hope: a spaceship and a crew of eight men and women. They carry a device which will breathe new life into the star. But deep into their voyage, out of radio contact with Earth, their mission is starting to unravel. There is an accident, a fatal mistake, and a distress beacon from a spaceship that disappeared seven years earlier. Soon the crew is fighting not only for their lives, but their sanity.

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    Prognosis: Positive. You just cannot go awry when you use that signature Clint Mansell ditty.

    I wasn’t so sure of what to expect out of Cillian Murphy when I saw his deflated member, the junk just exposed to the elements like an abandoned outhouse, in 28 DAYS LATER but the kid displayed the kind of range you need in a zombie movie, a skill that did not go unnoticed to Christopher Nolan who thought he would be perfect as the Scarecrow in BATMAN BEGINS. The guy is a silent killer on the screen. Even Chris Evans, who could have easily vaporized in the ether of teenage fare, a la Freddie Prinze Jr., but who is battling against his type; it’s impressive. Even I wasn’t that impressed with his early work but if there was one thing you could take away from THE FANTASTIC FOUR was how well he played off what he was given. That’s what’s so bold about the choice in minimizing everyone’s presence in this trailer.

    It’s not so much odd as it is a pleasant change from what should have been the obvious way to market this movie right out of the gate. I assume as we get closer we will see a return to form, we’ll get more exposition and a more focused demographic pitch, but this is a curious example of what can be possible when you lean on the soundtrack to help out what’s on the screen.

    We get a static shot of the sun, this orb of burning yellow gas the only thing we have to focus on, and, behind this, Cillian’s voiceover that just lays out everything about this movie. Everything. He states his name, how many people are going to help reignite the sun (with no regard to explaining to you how this all came to be), what his mission is and all the while we watch ourselves get closer and closer to the sun. There’s something innately intimate in all of this.

    The spaceship they’re riding in is spectacularly rendered against the sun’s majestic presence on the screen. I can’t speak for anyone else but it seems imposing, claustrophobic almost, when you’re given some silence to soak in the premise of what these people are about to do.

    And that’s when the music kicks in.

    Boyle’s credit for helming TRAINSPOTTING and 28 DAYS LATER is well warranted here and it’s diminutive font and script isn’t imposing or pushy.

    Flash to the crew who are plotting their course along with some strange stop-motion, bullet time, clips that tease just enough without being too confusing. Again, the sun’s largess is visually communicated very well to the point that when shit goes south, it’s ability to the one of the most heinous villains without so much as having a personality is what stays with you. Boyle had to create absolute destruction but also had to make the experience relevant to those of us watching it. When paint is bubbling, people are drowning, when fireballs are shooting off, and Clint’s score is reaching its zenith, you can’t help but be completely stoked in at least being curious to know what the hell is happening to these people. Yeah, and the person slamming their body against what looks like an airlock, Evans crying like a puss and the people sliding down a vertical cube?

    Absolutely Riveting. And not one word spoken in between Cillian’s voice over.

    RATATOUILLE (2007)

    Director: Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava
    Release: June 29, 2007
    Synopsis: In the new animated-adventure, RATATOUILLE, a rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family’s wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession. When fate places Remy in the sewers of Paris, he finds himself ideally situated beneath a restaurant made famous by his culinary hero, Auguste Gusteau. Despite the apparent dangers of being an unlikely – and certainly unwanted – visitor in the kitchen of a fine French restaurant, Remy’s passion for cooking soon sets into motion a hilarious and exciting rat race that turns the culinary world of Paris upside down.

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    Prognosis: Negative. Anyone who puts CARS in their top three Pixar films of all time is either a liar or works as the Attorney General for President Bush. Take your pick.

    The movie suffered from not only some pacing problems but the content itself was a little divergent, I would posit, from what kids could grasp onto and infuse with their own experiences. TOY STORY, MONSTERS INC., THE INCREDIBLES, all of these kid-relatable, garnered so much market share because it really embraced a wide spectrum. CARS not only boosted their look from an old cartoon that ran decades ago but the story wasn’t as kid friendly as Pixar’s other forays into animation. And that’s why HAPPY FEET sadly thrashed its ass at the Academy Awards.

    With RATATOUILLE, though, I am a little torn because there are some of the same kind of non-kid elements that may have some resonance with adults but, as the trailer opens, when you have Parisian accordions playing, the Eiffel Tower clearly on display, and some wag wheeling out the cheese cart, and explaining various varieties of fromage, I’m not sure you’re hooking the kids who need to show up in order to make this a mega hit.

    It’s damn near a third of the way into this thing before you get some of the slapstickiness kids gravitate toward like teen boys do to boobs. A third of the way is simply unacceptable if anyone at Pixar with half a working knowledge of children’s attention spans is behind this trailer.

    But, for argument’s sake, let’s assume that this was someone’s grand design. That the first third is for adults and that the other two are really the ones that are going to hook the kids; everyone loves Tom and Jerry, right? And who the hell wouldn’t mind seeing Mickey get his in a restaurant?

    Well, it really doesn’t get better.

    You get the rat trying to steal away with the cheese and then we transition to a freeze-frame. Patton Oswalt announces his position as the titular rodent and when we come out of the moment we’re in the sewer getting a feel for what seems to be the pitch that greenlit this production.

    Apart from the stark realization that we’re not being whisked to a different place in our collective mind’s eyes, it feels like an extended sidekick edition of King of Queens, I can’t say where the brilliance is or what’s the big fucking deal. First of all, Patton doesn’t fit. I like his work as a comedian but it’s jarring to witness. Secondly, you’ve got a rat talking about eating food. There’s no hook to be seen, no obvious angle that has been taken. Thirdly, when you look at this trailer you can’t help but feel an impending sense that if you are of the belief that there are no more original ideas in the world this just cements the idea.

    There is one good thing, though, that comes out of the trailer that I feel deserves a mention:

    Patton’s brother, friend, acquaintance, whoever, and gets a moment to talk. The bit about being able to suppress one’s gag reflex if you’re eating garbage and that a whole new world of food possibilities opens up as a result? Funny. About the only thing that was in this preview.

    NEXT (2007)

    Director: Lee Tamahori
    Cast:
    Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel, Thomas Kretschmann, Tory Kittles, Peter Falk
    Release: April 27, 2007
    Synopsis: Las Vegas showroom magician Cris Johnson has a secret which is a gift and a curse which torments him: he can see a few minutes into the future. Sick of the examinations he underwent as a child and the interest of the government and medical establishment in his power, he lies low under an assumed name in Vegas, performing cheap tricks and living off small-time gambling “winnings.” But when a terrorist group threatens to detonate a nuclear device in Los Angeles, government agent Callie Ferris must use all her wiles to capture Cris and convince him to help her stop the cataclysm.

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    Prognosis: Negative. This is just bad; there isn’t any other way to describe it, I do apologize.

    If I could put it another way it’s like seeing someone try their hardest in the Special Olympics knowing full well that no matter how much effort they’re putting into running the 50 meter dash in less than five minutes there just isn’t anything in their biological potential that could take on a true athlete”¦or a 3rd grader.

    Nic Cage is that Special Olympian.

    He so much wants to be an action star but that bean pole frame of his and that hairline, which is threatening to recede like an Ethiopian lake to the back of his skull, is going to prevent him from being perceived as an action hero. I could be slightly remiss in dismissing the man’s competency, and the opening sequences, cribbing from CLOCKWORK ORANGE and the nuclear “˜asplosion sequence from T-2, kind of give me the inflated hope that will quickly be popped like a pinpricked, swollen testicle sack.

    Julianne Moore slides in to ask what evil portent Nic is able to see, I guess he has some ability to foresee the future, whoa, but Nic musters his best Action Hero ® voice in saying some bullshit about, “Blah, blah, blah, you can’t stop my hotness, blah, blah, blah.” I don’t know, you don’t know, no one does, about what’s happening in these first few moments. It’s disjointed.

    In what has to be the most unoriginal plot in the history of fast-paced thrillers we’re treated to a long, lame, lackluster and limp sequence in which we’re explained to, again, like we’re 2nd graders on a field trip to the Hostess factory to see how bread is made, that Nic is able to see into the future but, gasp!, he can manipulate the present.

    Fast forward to a rather uninspired directorial moment between Nic and his newest hotness, Jessica Biel, wherein we hear, again, about the man’s powers to portend what’s on the horizon around him only, shed a tear, he can’t see the future with his lady friend. I guess this is where we’re supposed to feel sorry for him but, oddly, I don’t. In fact, my attention is drawn to the dude in the wheelchair, in one flashback, or flash-forward, who suddenly explodes into a million pieces with the bomb squad on hand to witness it.

    From here we get some transition to tell us that this movie is being written by the same guy who penned MINORITY REPORT; from the look of things I would say that he wrote this while his skull was attached to a paint shaker because I can’t see anything that would tell me this was the same person.

    We also get Nic playing the part of Multiple Man from X-3 and this is just an excuse, really, to say that you all need to look at that hairpiece he’s rockin’ because it is a few strands away from being a full-on mullet.

    Ooo! You need to pay attention to when a sniper takes a shot at Nic and he ends up dodging the bullet and when he artfully gets on a knee to prevent himself from getting crushed by a car. You would have thought he went to the Keanu Reeves MATRIX School for Proper Bullet and Shrapnel Avoidance. It’s close to being the funniest thing I’ve seen yet this year.

    This movie looks bad from any angle. And even I don’t need to pull a Ms. Cleo to look into the future to see what’s on the horizon for this film.

    28 WEEKS LATER (2007)

    Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
    Cast: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau, Catherine McCormack, Imogen Poots, Idris Elba, Mackintosh Muggleton
    Release: May 11, 2007
    Synopsis: Six months after the rage virus has annihilated the British Isles, the US Army declares that the war against infection has been won, and that the reconstruction of the country can begin. In the first wave of returning refugees, a family is reunited — but one of them unwittingly carries a terrible secret. The virus is not yet dead, and this time, it is more dangerous than ever.

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    Prognosis: Positive. One of my very first writing gigs was for William Rainey Harper College.

    It was a school newspaper and there wasn’t much I could do in the way of major features but I did have the chance to interview horror extraordinaire and lecturer David J. Skal about some of the ways horror films have evolved. One insight he had about the 50’s and 60’s is that the advent of the big headed alien in many genre pictures were really a function and a response to the ever increasing amount of information that people were experiencing; the physical reflected the zeitgeist. You can see these tropes playing themselves out especially well in George Romero’s work DAWN OF THE DEAD, the physicality of the indoor mall representing a larger theme of Americana and where consumerism was heading or it’s updated simulacrum DAWN OF THE DEAD where the zombies have a quickened pace. The latter really had people’s panties in a twist and I would argue that the notion of the fast moving zombie is really a reflection of how quick and instantaneous things have gotten over the past couple decades.

    This is why 28 WEEKS LATER looks to rock your face off until it drips off the bone.

    Now that we’ve got this argument out of the way the rest should be easy to swallow and why this trailer builds up so smoothly and satisfyingly.

    The music’s perfect, no question; it’s tense, you can’t help but to feel uneasy as it plays out. The wide scenes evoke an uneasy peace even as you see trainloads of people pouring back into the city that was the basis for Cillian Murphy’s dong-bearing hell hole. The sniper’s view doesn’t help much but it’s wonderfully played for what it’s worth. The absence of Voiceover Guy is what keeps this from heading into awfulness.

    A factoid that one of the re-populators, Andy, is the youngest settler seems odd if wasn’t revealed on purpose. The shot of burning bodies, the wholesale sterilization of people in HAZMAT outfits and the jiggling camera works real well here for reasons that other trailers that do this fail to evoke anything: you know something wicked this way comes.

    The chunky guitar playing in the background, evoking something on the scale of a Nine Inch Nails instrumental, as Robert Carlyle, the toughest midget this side of Tom Cruise, is an excellent choice as a father who is dealing with taking care of his son in a wasteland of death, just sets up what’s coming like a coach putting a leather orb on a tee-ball stand for a 300lb home run hitter.

    “Execute Code Red”

    Now, I’m a fan of 1985’s RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, huge fan, and I appreciate the idea of its ending where modernity met zombie eradication: nuke “˜em. Here, though, it looks like things are going to get wicked violent with para-military folks going up against fast moving targets with zero prejudice.

    The air horn going off, the music working its way into a crescendo, the pandemonium of a group of people who know exactly what’s coming, their immanent demise, and a nameless guy who puts out the order to “kill everyone.” Pandemonium reigns supreme and there is hardly any dependence on showing the zombies in any kind of glory; it’s all about the victims and it’s damn effective.

    The napalm-like strike through the city, Carlyle running as fast as he can in what appears to be a greener than green meadow, and would be quite peaceful if he wasn’t being chased by violent corpses bent on chewing his flesh,

    I’m already there and ready.

  • Trailer Park: SPIDER-MAN 3’s International Appeal and Reveal

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    It’s like we can’t be trusted.

    I was going to hold my tongue about all this until you made your way down below and beheld the sight of Venom and Co. swinging face first into your lives in the latest SPIDER-MAN 3 trailer. However, I just couldn’t shake the drifting thought about why Sony has sought fit to release this “International” trailer with oodles of the very thing you know every geek and his imaginary girlfriend who lives in Canada wants to see: Venom.

    I make mention of it below in the column but, really, when you see this version of the trailer it seems like the whole storyline has shifted focus. It’s rare to see such a departure in what is accentuated and what is not, Uncle Ben’s murderer, The Sandman, barely even rates a mention in the international trailer whereas, in the domestic one, Ben’s killer is afforded the weight of the entire feature with nary a mention of that tough man in black.

    Surely this isn’t a GODZILLA issue; the tease that everyone wants but are denied until opening day to behold the craptacular behemoth that would sink its way back into the ocean with nary a whimper. The studio has released not only the transformation of Topher Grace into the destructive black beast but you get a look at the moves he has in mid-air and even a vampire-like smile, jagged canines and all, that is really a sight to behold. It was enough for me to even pause the damn trailer and wonder at the top shelf make-up job they did to get Grace moved over from pretty boy to downright creepy.

    And, really, the crux of the issue is that this version of the trailer isn’t Sony’s latest entry into what American kids are getting amped up to see as they watch their twenty or so minutes of Coming Attractions before their Spring features. You’ve got to be a nerd like me and actually visit a site that is based in the UK and only then can you see this thing. The international audiences are rolling into this version with a plethora of dangers that the American trailer barely scratched. For the record, and in fairness in reporting, neither trailer deals with how Gwen Stacy factors into the mix. She will in a great way but there isn’t anything to really go off of. However, the international trailer tosses in a heaping helping of the many directions that this film is going to but why is the average American, at this stage of the game, only being led to believe that this is a film that deals with a black suit that gives Spider-Man new powers, the struggle he is going to have with Harry and the fight he’s going to have with Sandman by film’s end? (My honest opinion is that Haden Church is going to serve a near perfunctory role if this film is going to be juggling no less than seven major plot points but he may not. Perhaps he and Venom are going to be a super bad tag team with Harry eventually siding with Peter in a battle royale the likes of which have never been seen before! Probably not.)

    As well, the wrong answer of “Maybe the studio just wasn’t quite ready with the effects to be put into the domestic trailer prior to its release” isn’t even accurate if any geek worth his table salt saw the workprint of the trailer where Venom was actually excised from its final cut. Hell, even that may have been deliberate but it doesn’t change the fact that limeys and everyone else in the not-so-free world is getting a pimp looking trailer while we’re left with Sand city and a partial air battle between Harry and Peter.

    Back in black never looked so damn good.

    MAGICIANS (2007)

    Director: Andrew O’Connor
    Cast:
    Robert Webb, David Mitchell, Juliet Stevenson, Peter Capaldi
    Release: May 18, 2007 (UK…Damn Limeys)
    Synopsis:
    From the team behind the hit UK TV series Peep Show comes this high concept comedy film about a magic double act who fall out when one is involved in an accident with a guillotine. The story follows the rivalry between the magician’s years later as they enter a major magic competition.

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    Prognosis: Positive. Loved it.

    After enduring the debate of what was better, THE ILLUSIONIST or THE PRESTIGE (It was PRESTIGE, by the way, in case you really would like to know), I knew the world could handle just one more movie dealing in the black arts. Too bad for me, though, that I would have to jaunt over to merry old England in order to be able and see it.

    It’s moments like this that I wish some money grubbing exec-u-tard would come up with a way to capitalize on global distribution of films; I’m available for such a position if anyone cares to create the position for me. At the moment, though, all I can do is appreciate the marketing campaign for this film that looks and feels like a splendid time at the talkies.

    “In the world”¦”

    I would usually turn tail as soon as these words are spoken as, come on, am I really to believe that some dime store magicians really have a lock on the global art of making coins disappear before my eyes? No, but I erred on the side on irony as we make our way through the entertaining lives of two guys who are supposed to be partners, which makes their getting along at the beginning all the more foreboding for what’s to come, only to howl when these men committed the truest rendering of The Marie Antoinette as they lopped off their female assistant’s melon”¦accidentally.

    We simply blaze through the rest of the exposition, the only real gripe I have is that we whip at an unbelievable pace through it all, when we come to where the crux of the action will take place: a magic-off, as it were.

    These guys suck and it’s their pathetic natures that make this film appear so appealing; if you were to do a movie starring Gob, the hapless magician of Arrested Development, it would be far and away a fun film if only because you have a guy who believes he’s great when, in fact, it’s only his tenuous grasp on this notion that keeps him from packing it all in. And you get that with this trailer. As one dude comes up with a trick to be buried up to his neck in sand, assistants who are quite unstable, having the occasional reminder that your partner was the one who pulled the rope that beheaded your previous assistant and an old fart that has a trick where he makes lit cigarettes disappear by extinguishing them using his tongue.

    “Shot my wand?”

    “Kiss my ass.”

    Using Electric Six’s “Gay Bar” as the frenetic musical backdrop for what these two protagonists are going through as they battle one another for supremacy on a scale that only they would care about is pitch perfect. The world doesn’t care, but these guys have the kind of heart that can be amusing, like Gob desperately trying to make a coin trick work. The comment that one of them makes to a woman who agrees to be his assistant when she says that lighting can’t strike twice and counters with, “Well, technically, it can”¦”

    This is the kind of film I’d like to see when those in the UK get a chance to do so as well.

    IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS (2007)

    Director: James Longley
    Release: Coming Soon In Limited Release
    Synopsis: Iraq in Fragments illuminates post-war Iraq in three acts, building a picture of a country pulled in different directions by religion and ethnicity. Filmed in verité style with no scripted narration, the film explores the lives of ordinary Iraqis to illustrate and give background to larger trends in Iraqi society.

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    Prognosis: Positive. Before we delve into this trailer, do me a favor and just give a passing glance at this news story right here: http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2922669

    I’ll wait.

    Now, keeping in mind that our same armed forces are preventing the wholesale detailing of what’s going on over in Iraq, check to see how many newspaper bureaus in America are keeping representatives over there on a 24/7 schedule, along with the reports from fellow journalists over there about what free speech means to guys in APCs with machine guns, and you get a pretty good starting point about how much you think you know of what’s going on within the boundaries of that volatile nation.

    “The future of Iraq will be in three pieces”¦”

    Talk about having Kurt Russell take a chair and sit on your windpipe to get your attention (Any TANGO AND CASH fans in the house?), this trailer opens with chaos only to compose itself ever briefly where we get a real weathered looking man giving us his opinion about where his country is going from where it is today.

    We linger just long enough to see the awards this film garnered from the Sundance Film Festival, to say nothing of its Academy Award nomination, providing an excellent pivot point to establish its credibility with an audience.

    What makes this trailer at least “feel” different from all the other trailers that have dealt with this Godforsaken war, lest you believe God is genuinely helping us in this effort at which point I’ll pray for YOUR soul, is that we’re not given a lot of explosive action to latch onto. Instead, and this is almost as terrifying, the tense string arrangement that plays underneath men and children going about their daily lives, an Iraqi policeman directing traffic in the open (I’m on edge as I think a bomb is going to go off at any moment) and an unseen man looks like he’s talking about resisting the very same occupiers that are just there to do their jobs and get home to their families.

    It’s riveting.

    “The movie is a quiet revelation.”

    Yes. That’s exactly the kind of vibe this movie puts out. We seem to be following a young boy around the streets of some city, some place, but we also get views of people cheering in the streets with their flags held high, there seems to be some kind of meeting which no doubt concerns their future in Iraq, some masked men start beating one of their own and, by the end, you have zero idea why you’ve been as captivated as you have been.

    Not a shot gets fired, not one bomb goes off, not one voiceover tells me why I should go spend my money on this movie. The visuals stand alone and it’s within these non-narrated pictures that I am able to just concentrate that these Iraqis are all just people, trying to do a job and make it home to their families.

    DISTURBIA (2007)

    Director: D.J. Caruso
    Cast:
    Shia LaBeouf, David Morse, Sarah Roemer, Carrie-Anne Moss
    Release: April 13, 2007
    Synopsis: After his father’s death, Kale (Shia LaBeouf) becomes sullen, withdrawn, and troubled – so much so that he finds himself under a court-ordered sentence of house arrest. His mother, Julie (Carrie-Anne Moss), works night and day to support herself and her son, only to be met with indifference and lethargy. The walls of his house begin to close in on Kale. He becomes a voyeur as his interests turn outside the windows of his suburban home towards those of his neighbors, one of which Kale begins to suspect is a serial killer. But, are his suspicions merely the product of cabin fever and his overactive imagination?

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    Prognosis: Negative. I know I’ve made much of my “respek knuckles” admiration for Even Stevens.

    This happy-happy feeling carries over to this trailer as I see that Shia Labeouf is not only making excellent strides to wiggle free of his child star image but with a movie like this you can’t help but at least feel that he’s at least not going to be seen at the local Midas dealership, installing mufflers singing, “Truuust the Miiidas touch.”

    That said, however, I can go on and on about how many movies this flick is cribbing from in one way or another. From AMERICAN BEAUTY, GIRL NEXT DOOR, FRIGHT NIGHT, MEN AT WORK and REAR WINDOW there seems be a menudo soup-like dropping of all these things to make a full-length movie. I’m not so sure it works.

    From the outset we get the clue that Shia did something to be placed on house arrest; it’s a pretty nice arrest, as well, because the suburban street he lives on seems awfully detached from any other suburban street I’ve ever lived on. This, I take it, is the point to making the absurd come to life, we’re in the land of make-believe.

    “All Kale has is the window”¦”

    So, Shia, pimpin’ out his ankle bracelet with a totally rad stickers, a skull and flames (Oooh!), decides to entertain himself by lecherously peeping into the lives of his neighbors. By the way, want to know when you’re living in the land of Not Real? You have a svelte honey sunbathing next door and another thin cutie who takes off her clothes in from of open windows. The closest thing I’ve come to that is a view into a house where my Midwest neighbors, who I think didn’t believe in the notion of moderation and exercise, motored down heaps of food every night. I didn’t even want there to be an open window anywhere near my field of vision.

    But, Shia hit the lottery with all the cheatin’ and whorin’ on his block, and when he gets spied on by someone he was trying to watch the girl obviously sees no problem with coming on over, by herself, and taking part in the life of a human viewfinder. And, yeah, she’s good looking too.

    So, fast forward through all this crap that the girl actually strikes up a relationship with this pervert, again, why couldn’t I have lived on this block, and we come up to a murder. See, when you’re a voyeur you are bound to look upon something that is usually reserved for dark rooms in basements and kill zones that comprise of crawl spaces in the attic. No, this shit goes down for the whole block to see in rather bright fluorescent lighting.

    We then speed things up by Shia playing the part of Chicken Little, no one believing him (Oh noes!) about what he’s spied with his eyes, and motor right into everyone becoming a potential next victim for this guy who then takes out Shia’s buddy and lady friend.

    Not even the quick clips at the end can make up for what appears to be a very crap story. I can’t even swallow the premise, much less wrap my head around what I am supposed to believe happens when a serial killer lives across the street and no one believes a witness who’s seen everything go down.

    SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)

    Director: Sam Raimi
    Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dylan Baker, Elizabeth Banks
    Release: May 4, 2007
    Synopsis: A lot of shi# goes down and that’s all you really need to know. Maybe we’ll even find out what happens to all that black and white webbing that’s stuck to the sides of buildings.
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    Prognosis: Positive. This is an interesting case study of how domestic and international audiences are treated differently. It’s a wonder why this business is so bass ackwards and seeing this just makes one wonder why we’re not given the goods that every other market around the world where English isn’t even the primary language. It’s not about xenophobia, it’s about geeky jollies and our domestic denial of it from the studio.

    The opening sequence is extended here where we’re actually allowed to linger a bit and get emotionally attached to Mary Jane and Peter; yeah it’s fake but, I’ll tell you what, that few moments between this pair makes all the difference. The love between these two is wonderfully established and it serves Gwen Stacy’s presence as a real threat later on. The domestic trailer simply glosses over all this pivotal pairing.

    Um yeah, and when Peter confides in Aunt May that he’s going to ask Mary Jane to marry him we get a deeper sense of context for the ring that she gives him and he later loses in the air battle between him and Harry. The American trailer just shows us the ring wistfully as if were any other piece of jewelry. It’s not a coincidence that the moment we see the ring now it has more weight. Double kudos for the scene, silence, scene, silence editing for the moments of action between the two of them. Quite effective.

    And the air battle! Those little green orbs that are to kill Peter and his quick comedic quip? In seconds we’re in the thick of what’s at stake for both of these men. Domestic trailer? Had all the power of a squirrel fart.

    The symbiote’s liquid take-over of Spider-Man’s suit is much better represented here, certainly is a lot more fun watch as it makes its way all over his body, as even the moments where Peter questions its origins, with Dr. Connors’ summation of the black goo, that it amplifies aggression and that it likes Peter, is shockingly sharp and informative and puts to shame the trailer that I thought was the Alpha Beta of trailers just months ago.

    The moment where the trailer REALLY kicks up to an 11 is where Peter stares into a mirror only to be met with the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it sinister visage of a howling Venom. It’s angry, it’s vicious and only gets better when he finally tries to get rid of the thing on his body. As Topher Grace not only realizes that Parker is the dark colored Spidey and a drip of Vengance Personified starts to engulf our real favorite actor to come out of That 70’s Show it is the full-blown display of Venom’s rage that gets my Godzilla bucking vote of Best Reveal for 2007. It’s phenomenally evocative and much better than the Sandman storyline in the domestic trailer that now feels awfully secondary to this threat. Oh, and Topher’s “Hey, Parker” as he briefly reveals his humanity, his vampire-colored eyes and teeth, body builder physique and all? Just sweet icing.

    There’s more at stake here and even MJ’s admission about what it’s going to take to keep them together as a couple just humanizes this comic book movie even further. It’s the grounding of the most far-flung characters that has ever been stuffed into one picture (you got Sandman, Harry’s Goblin incarnation, Peter’s struggle with the black suit AND Venom) that should make this movie the one sequel to SPIDER-MAN 2 that could actually surpass the legend of the previous entries.

    As to why this isn’t the trailer that we Americans are getting in order to get ready for what’s coming and why, as a studio, you would hold back on what you’re giving the domestic market is beyond my ken. I’m damn near insulted at what we were given weeks ago compared to this.

    Regardless, THIS is the trailer that’s getting me in the mood to revisit my 5 year-old inner child.

  • 10 Quick Questions: Eren Cannata

    10quickquestions.jpg

    by Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    It’s when you hear artists as they’re evolving as musicians that you really respect the talent it takes to be successful in this business. And make no mistake about the nature of this beast: it’s a business.

    You need to show how you can be an economical investment for any of the major labels to pay attention to your skills. You can be the greatest show on earth during a festival like SXSW, and you can be the talk of the town, but if you’re not marketable to some necktie wearing stiffs in the back room of some boardroom you can just take your pachouli and go somewhere else.

    Eren Cannata’s dedication to his music is one thing but when you listen to how he has found a way to exist without the help of the big label infrastructure that has made good bands sell their creative soul to the material devil he’s an amazingly sharp man who is equally precise when it comes to delivering on the melodic goods.

    Eren’s music travels a route that many can relate to but so few have put so well without sounding trite, maudalin or saccharine sweet. His album, Blame It On The City, is his first major release and one that defies convention if you’re taste has been steeped in the false and theatric nihilism of My Chemical Romance or any other number of emo bands that should really be big boys about making their way through the world; suck it up, stop whining and if things are really that bad then get a job and call me when you realize life isn’t supposed to be wine and roses.

    I caught up with Eren just days after the release of his full-length album.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: You had an in-store concert appearance recently, didn’t you?

    EREN CANNATA: Yes, the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, New York City. It was a huge performance for us and a milestone for my career, my life. It was a bit surreal, too. There were tons of people there and it was so much fun and for the first time my CD is everywhere, they even had it in the New Release bin, the whole bit was pretty exciting.

    STIPP: I would ask if that’s the biggest crowd you’ve played for prior to the release of this album but I’m sure you’ve played for bigger”¦

    CANNATA: Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the biggest venue I’ve ever played because I grew up on the road with my dad who was a saxophonist for Billy Joel and The Beach Boys, I was a tour kid, and, at times, all of us would come out and play with the band on the biggest of shows. So, I’m working my way up to that! One day it’ll be my show.

    STIPP: When did this all happen?

    CANNATA: Well, I was born in 85 and I went out with the Beach Boys in the 90s, because that’s what he was doing around then, and it was just a blast. I got real close with Carl Wilson, who has since passed away since then, and I got very close to him but it was one of those experiences I remember at all times and taught me a lot about music.

    STIPP: What was one of the biggest things you took away from it?

    CANNATA: Well, Carl Wilson taught me how to warm up my voice. Simple as that. I was one of the only kids allowed in his dressing room at the time, I don’t know why, my dad says it was because every one else was a little more annoying than me, but I would go back there and say “This is how you warm up”¦This is what we do”¦These are my guitars”¦” They also taught me about harmony and how to blend and how to be good to each other on the road and how to write good music. Even if they didn’t personally show me, osmosis picked it up and I’m trying to apply it to my own music making process.

    But I took a lot away from it all even though I was simply enjoying myself at the time, just trying to be an annoying little kid.

    STIPP: How did your experience, then, shape how you thought about in which direction you wanted to take your own sound?

    CANNATA: The Beach Boys and Billy Joel”¦the songwriting, alone, is amazing to me. Pet Sounds was revolutionary in how it was recorded and written. Billy’s The Stranger”¦they’re true songsters. They have ideas and concepts that”¦let’s say about “love.” Everybody talks about love but how are you going talk about love and make it popular, again, and make it something that’s new, fresh and catchy and a lovely piece of art too? So, through them, I’ve shaped my sound”¦find that hook, find that difference, find that harmony part in your vocal that people have done before but you’re saying with your flair and your attitude and that you’re making your own. And that’s something I’ve taken away that’s been invaluable.

    STIPP: How does that influence your writing?

    CANNATA: Sometimes people will ask, “What’s your passion about the whole thing? Is it performing? Is it playing guitar?” But, really, the thing that I am first and the thing that I love the most, and would never give up in a million years for anything, is writing music. I love writing and listening to great music. That’s where my heat lies, that’s how it’s shaped. I like to start with that.

    If my song doesn’t sound good with me and an acoustic guitar in my hand or me and a piano or just me singing a capella”¦if it doesn’t have any meaning or significance when I do any of those then I don’t believe there’s any grounds for me to put it on an album. That’s why I’m so excited about the album because all those songs mean something to me and they say something. They all can be played acoustically.

    I was at the University of Maryland and playing for the students there, 600 some odd tickets were sold, and I did the entire show acoustically. It was great and everyone had a really good time. It really shows the bare bones of what I love to do.

    STIPP: Especially on a song like “Part of Me” I thought about how the sound of that song represented of what I could compare it to from my own musical experiences. It finally came to me that listening to that song was like hearing the genesis of a band like Toad the Wet Sprocket; a real focus on instrumentation, introspection and a sound that any college kid in the early 90’s could gravitate toward.

    CANNATA: Absolutely. And that’s what I want to come out of my music; I want to be as specific enough and say exactly how I feel but yet when people listen to it I hope they can say something like, “Yeah. I’ve been there.” Something that can capture the audience like that as they listen.

    STIPP: Who do you admire that’s out there, then, contemporarily speaking, that’s playing right now and speaking to what you’re trying to accomplish with your music?

    CANNATA: I think John Mayer. He’s got something magical about him. Not because of his first or second album but because of the way he’s trying to depart from his usual self. I read in an interview about him he said, “I’m more comfortable with a guitar in my hand than a microphone in front of me.” He’s a great songwriter, he’s a decent singer but he really plays guitar and he was able to tell his record label, “I am going in this direction. You need to trust me.” And, personally, I really enjoy that; he’s taking the bull by the horns and doing it like that.

    That being said, though, it’s not my most favorite of things I’ve ever heard. People that I admire right now? I listen to old stuff. Things like Tower of Power and I still listen to Billy Joel and The Beach Boys. Right now I am completely hooked on the new Beatles “Love” album. I’m completely hooked on that.

    STIPP: And, at this point, John can pretty much call the shots. When you were recording Blame It On The City was there any give and take with what you wanted and what those in charge wanted?

    CANNATA: Here’s the brilliant part about that”¦my father has a recording studio here in Glen Cove, Long Island and it was basically that when my dad was on the road with Billy my mom wouldn’t let my dad spend his money on fancy cars or boats or anything. So, she said, “Buy something that will give back”¦something that you can do and love it for the rest of your life.” So, they put a studio together and since I’m an only child I am totally indebted to my parents for that. Being that it was here, my dad produced my album and it was a lovely thing where all the comments that were made were in my best interest. It was like “How do you feel?”, “What do think you should do?”, “What do you think sounds good with this?” That’s why it worked out real well.

    We also didn’t have a label hanging over our head telling us what to do and so we started our own indie label, Brown Dog Records, my father and I and an attorney. It’s great. We signed up with Icon Distribution and they got it into stores for us. And, so, the people we answer to is my father and an attorney that is completely in love with the project. If we think we should do something, we do it. If we don’t want to do it, we don’t do it and no one tells us otherwise. It’s one of the most lucky situations we’ve fell into and it’s certainly one of the most lucky things that have happened in my life so far. Being able to have an album in stores and doing it the way I want to do it, by choosing the pictures we want with the CD and not the ones that people would negate or try to airbrush”¦

    STIPP: Is that a trap where you see some performers fall into?

    CANNATA: A lot of musicians want it so bad that they’re willing to compromise integrity for it”¦which is tough. If I didn’t have this position I might be compromising my integrity too. I want it that bad as well. It’s a dirty game but you’ve got to play by the rules and break some rules at the same time.

    STIPP: Speaking of distribution”¦With music companies growing ever more conglomeratized how difficult is it to get your music”¦

    CANNATA: Distribution is extremely hard. A) A good distribution deal, in itself, is a hard thing to get and B) some distributors will simply release an album online and say, “Here it is”¦It’s released.” It’s tough but we’re excited because we have a distribution company that believes in us. Just being able to have someone like Josh Kelly, someone who I listen to while I was writing my album, and for us to be on the same roster of distributors is pretty cool.

    STIPP: Have you had to be more of a business person than someone who wouldn’t have to be”¦

    CANNATA: Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. I never thought I would but when I discovered that I was going to have to wear a few hats, it’s what I had to do. We had to make sure we hired a really good team, a small team but effective, who could push it because we want people to buy it and we want people to listen to it. We know that there are some people who will listen to it and be opinionated about it but, you know what, we think it’s good and if they like it, they like it.

    STIPP: You’re going to be touring behind this, right?

    CANNATA: We’re probably going to be doing 20 shows in the next month, just by myself, just doing acoustic things, just promoting it out there, doing a lot of college towns and things like that. But a lot of that stuff is up in the air. We’re booking shows 1 by 1 and getting ourselves on the road.

    I’m so damn excited to get out there and show everyone every song that I’ve ever written from the beginning of time”¦I’m very comfortable on stage. It’s an exciting moment for me and I can’t wait to share this with everyone.

    STIPP: Going back to the recording of the album, I’m curious, did there ever come a time when you felt like you were overproducing a song? You can hear it in how some artists just add layer after layer”¦

    CANNATA: Of course. There’s one song on the album that my father and I did not produce, “Part of Me” in fact, and the one thing we worried about was that it was done too many times. We sort of have this concept in the studio”¦everything you lay down, make sure it sounds amazing. Don’t say, “We’ll come back to it.” And that’s just good producing, that’s not over producing. And when you when you over produce something it’s when you keep putting more and more on top of what was there; it gets cluttered. Because here, in the studio, we have the liberty of being able to burn CDs after we’re done every day and we’ll be able to be honest with each other. I might say, “Dad”¦Didn’t really need those background parts,” and he’ll be in a position to be able and say, “Yeah, I agree with you. Take “˜em out.” And we’ll be done just like that. We have a good checks and balances system here.

    STIPP: But what happens when you come to a crossroad where you disagree? Are you, ultimately, the president, C.E.O.?

    CANNATA: We’re very democratic, diplomatic about it all but if, let’s say, an engineer feels real strongly about something we know something’s wrong because they work with us. These people who are the engineers have been engineers for my dad for 20 years. They learned how we work and a lot of those people who’ve worked here have gone on to be Grammy award winning mixers and engineers themselves. So, their opinions are very valuable to us. If they’re strongly feeling something we take that into consideration. At the end of the day, yeah, we’ll make the decision but, in the back of our mind, we might be thinking, “You know what? They might be right about this so let’s see how we can rework it to make it perfect without making it sound too homogenized and over produced.”

    STIPP: In your writing, what comes first: melody or the lyrics?

    CANNATA: For me, sometimes, the music comes first or the lyrics come first. It’s always different. But the most successful way, I’ve found, is if I sit down and everything comes out at the same time. “Blame It On The City” came out all at once. It was a streaming thought. Front to back. I didn’t even start with the chorus. Every song, to me, the reason why I would consider a good song for the album has a story like that.

    STIPP: And something that I appreciate is the way these moments, these songs, seem honest. It seems like a decision you have to make as an artist as well.

    CANNATA: Absolutely. You’ve got to find your true integrity in it and that’s what I really enjoy about what I do. It is believable because it is true. It’s those normal little stories of things that have happened to me and I’ve turned them into something interesting just by phrasing them into a way I think they should be phrased.

    STIPP: Your sound seems reminiscent, like I’ve stated, of the college rock that seemed to be so prevalent in the early 90’s; minimal production, thick sound. Has anyone else commented on what this music appears indicative of to them?

    CANNATA: There’s a lot of younger fans that I have and what I get from them is that this music is something completely different than what they’ve been exposed to and, from the older fans, a lot of people have said I have an old soul. I get that a lot. I average those two together and think that the music speaks to something that my older fans were listening to when they were the age of my younger fans.

    STIPP: My last question, if you don’t mind offering some thoughts on the subject, is when I was reading your bio it said you really began your musical career with cover tunes, something that really helps with all those things necessary to being a good musician. What do you make of those guys who never move beyond that, those dudes who will forever play 25 cent draft and well drinks, damned to jam forever, singing back-to-back ditties like “Sister Christian” and “Panama”?

    CANNATA: I find that a lot when I come back home.

    Home for me is Long Island, New York and I find that when I come back home and I see all my old friends, they’re the ones at the bar playing those things and they’ll say, “This is life. Why would I ever want to leave here?”

    But that’s what it is. It’s like that movie, GARDEN STATE. There are some but I feel like it’s almost a little too foolish to pigeonhole yourself to just do cover songs like that and try to make that your life.

    At the Virgin in-store I did one. I did Jimi Hendrix’ “Fire” with Max Weinberg from Bruce Springsteen and Conan O’Brien”¦he came up and played with us.

    STIPP: Really?

    CANNATA: We rocked it out. I put down my guitar and ran around on stage. It was fantastic and everyone had a really good time. It was the cherry on top of a completely original set. We played a great set, people were so in tune with the signing of the album”¦and we see Max there and we were, “Yo, Max. Come on, come on up.” I brought the horn section up and we played it with horns and made it something really unique that people could enjoy.

    STIPP: Eren, thank you so much for making time for me. I hope the album does very, very well.

    CANNATA: Thank you, absolutely.

  • Trailer Park: When Can I Guest Star On Ebert and Roeper?

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Quick note: Want to help me out this week? Go on over to Gather.com where I posted the first chapter of my book, Thank You, Goodnight, in the hopes I can win the First Chapters prize from Simon and Schuster. You’d be doing me a huge solid if I can at least make it to the final rounds and since I’ve never really pimped my book in this space I hope this could be the beginning of something really good or it could mean my writing really sucks and I deserve the mantle of writing a column named Trailer Park. Anyway, thanks for reading… http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976932701

    I mean, really, who puts caraway seeds in their Irish Soda Bread?

    For a few moments I thought I had been poisoned by my local Jewish deli, I even thought this was payback for something or another a mick relative of mine might have done, but I found out, after I investigated various recipes that actually accepted this form of larcenous bakery. I was all set to complain to the highest courts at the Hague, maybe even get that Saddam judge, but in my noshing as I looked at the trailer for WILD TIGERS I HAVE KNOWN there was a sense this might be the worst trailer I’ve ever had to write something about. I know I should hyperlink to the film’s site but I’m protesting that practice because I had my sensibilities so scarred by the kind of pretension that warrants an ass kicking. A deep, throbbing pummeling that should only stop when I say it’s time. Feel free to gaze upon the greatness of this movie’s trailer but I’m on a hunger strike until next Friday.

    I know this is should be reserved for my own wheelhouse when I think about the different sources I tap into to get inspired by film, never minding that I’ve seen so many infinitesimally engaging critics on Ebert and Roeper and am wondering when I am going to get my shot to have a chaw session with good old Richard, I have to resort to listen to how others are thinking about what’s new on my iPod.

    I love Podcasts but have yet to get into a real good rhythm with someone who is producing a quality show much like the good people at TWIT who make being a techie a thing of sonic beauty. I thought for sure that the fellows at CHUD could make a ‘cast that deserves consistent praise, Lord knows their written coverage is some of the most extensive out there, but it’s just not fun to listen to. You’ve got a band of dudes who seem to pop copious amounts of Dramamine prior to getting on the mic and the tangents are too many to make it a worthwhile download.

    It wasn’t until I heard the fellows over at FirstShowing.net doing their HypeCast, an honest gathering of some guys who love film and spend a good amount of time delving into topics that are otherwise just the subject of written columns. The discourse isn’t as professional as you would expect for such a nicely recorded, and weekly, addition to the online film community but for my money, and it’s free, it’s good enough that it deserves some cross-website promotion and attention for being a much welcomed voice in a community that should be more populated with the voices of thirtysomethings who eschew mainstream fare but are still hankering for B-movies that we’ve all celebrated in our youth but have yet to be released on DVD. My suggestions, fellas? HEARTBEEPS with Bernadette Peters, Christopher Guest and Andy Kaufman (I will never forget the strangeness of it all…and the fact that I just learned it does indeed exist on DVD) and GOING APE with Danny Devito, Tony Danza and Arrested Development’s Jessica Walter.

    Criticism exists beyond the mainstream and some people are proving that you’ve got to just D.I.Y. if you want to be listened to.

    SNOW CAKE (2007)

    Director: Marc Evans
    Cast:
    Alan Rickman, Sigourney Weaver, Carrie-Anne Moss
    Release: April 25, 2007
    Synopsis:
    Alex Hughes, recently freed from prison, begrudgingly picks up a vivacious 19-year-old hitchhiker, Vivienne, while driving through Ontario. When the car is hit by a truck on the outskirts of her home town, Vivienne dies instantly. Shocked and stranded in snowbound Wawa, Alex is drawn to seek out Vivienne’s mother, to talk to her in person about the fate of her daughter.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Like A Glass Of Warm Milk…Or Soy…Whatever You Put On Your Wheaties. Riveting, absolutely.

    Every since seeing the trailer for THE BOURNE SUPREMACY I am always in the mood to stay with a trailer if they give up a little somethin’ somethin’ in their presentation that gets my attention. Here, it works and I am glad to see it’s done where I never expected it to come out.

    It’s hard not to just be cynical about the moments that lead up to the early payoff in this trailer but it’s an earned combination of having a girl who looks like a grown-up version of Jordan Cochran, nee Michelle Meyrink, from REAL GENIUS, bowl cut and all and Mr. Hans Gruber himself as a man who wants the girl to exit the vehicle just as soon as he’s had enough of the hitchhiker.

    It’s an odd thing, the orchestrated moment we’re given. These two seem to have an amiable time talking and I’m lulled into the thought that this flick is going to take a left turn into bondage/serial killer territory. And I begin to meditate on how brilliant it is that Alan Rickman was tapped to be this sick, twisted dude, Lord knows how well he infused Gruber with that megalomaniacal sense of entitlement and then, blam, the car is slammed into by an 18 wheeler.

    I’m actually taken aback.

    Swiftly, we’re shown the notable festivals where this movie has played, we get a nice classical suite and we get Alan, hat in hand, having to deliver the news to the girl’s mother. The response isn’t what I would have expected but I think that’s the point. Sigourney Weaver, who just amazes with every choice she makes, shows the flash that makes her the silent killer many actresses could only hope to become.

    Afflicted with autism but loaded for bear as this mother and Alan, who really becomes the anchor to the emotional heft that needs to be acknowledged in order for this piece to be effective, equally shows why he can subsist within the action and kid genre with no problem at all.

    It’s nice to have small pull-quotes regarding Rickman’s abilities in this film and I have to give it up to the editorial staff in not giving too much away about where the core of this movie really is while making it every bit as engaging with the single “Just Looking” by The Stereophonics playing underneath it all.

    I don’t think that to make light of Weaver’s autism is the real comedic hook that the trailer makes it seem to be but you have what appears to be a very tight story between a few people with not much in the way of an explanation of how these pegs fit into holes.

    THE PRISONER OR: HOW I PLANNED TO KILL TONY BLAIR (2007)

    Director: Michael Tucker
    Release: March 23, 2007
    Synopsis: In an absurd comedy of errors, a freedom-loving Iraqi journalist is mistaken as Tony Blair’s would-be assassin and sent to Abu Ghraib Prison where he discovers the true meaning of liberation.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. Geez, these things are just flooding the market on a weekly basis.

    It’s like, declare a war, have things go really, really bad, increase global unrest, stir, stick in an Ez-Bake for 10-20 and, viola, instant bad coverage for a situation that everyone agrees with somehow, someway, devolve into mass civil war, the likes of which not even Marvel can keep up with covering.

    What sets this movie apart, though, is its use of creativity to set the story up in order to get my attention. It used to be that you had a movie like GUNNER PALACE, a lone voice, but with all of these movies you’ve got to hustle for market share. This trailer really does it well and it blasts right out of the gate with its opening.

    “One day you have a life”¦”

    You’ve got some surf style music, an odd choice but effective, against the backdrop of our prisoner in question. He explains who he is as we get the sunblocked slathered butt cheeks of some nameless woman as we take in a day at the beach. The man explains to us he was born in Baghdad, a nice hand-drawn picture of the place pops up, and lets us know how many brothers and sisters he has. We see home videos of these people and when the jaunty surf sounds stop, the pictures are supplanted with George Bush’s opening shot about his invasion of Iraq, we get soldiers streaming into the streets of this guy’s country.

    When you listen to the man’s account that these soldiers were like Rambo or Indiana Jones (with accompanying photo renderings) to him, having hope that these men were going to be real liberators, things change again to the Army going door-to-door, kicking the hell out of any gate that isn’t opened when they come a’calling; it’s just like Cops but they’re no mullets and no toothless ladies bawling that their meth-addled abusers are being hauled off to be arraigned in front of a judge on grounds of domestic violence. The issue here, though, and the trailer should rattle what’s left out of anyone’s emotional core for this war, is that there is no judge these men are going to go before and plead their cases to. These guys are off to Abu Ghraib and they might as well be entering a DMZ of hopelessness and lawlessness.

    “We weren’t prison guards”¦and it was obvious.”

    What’s also telling in this trailer is the back and forth between the man who sits before the camera and relates the torture he had to endure at the hands of our troops and the troops who administered it, no doubt, under the direction of their superiors. Without making value judgments we sidestep any finger pointing but we do get a verbal parry of what happened to one man and what happens when you put guys who have zero clue about what they’re doing in charge of a place like Abu Ghraib.

    And I think this is what makes the material that much more compelling; when you have someone who is well-versed in language and is able to render events into prose that your average “prisoner,” and I say this lightly because who knows how many more like this man are being detained for doing nothing more than being in the ultimate wrong place at the wrong time, just would not be able and communicate to those who might listen.

    WILD TIGERS I HAVE KNOWN (2007)

    Director: Cam Archer
    Cast:
    Malcolm Stumpf, Patrick White, Max Paradise, Fairuza Balk, Kim Dickensi
    Release: Now Playing…Unfortunately
    Synopsis: Logan is a soft spoken and lonely 13 year old boy with a crush. Unlike his equally lonely friend Joey, who obsesses over the sexual exploits of the popular boys, Logan is fixated on the boys themselves, particularly Rodeo Walker. Rodeo is the only one of the group of cool kids who shows any friendliness towards Logan, in other words, he doesn’t go out of his way to make Logan’s life miserable. As they strike up a mismatched friendship, Logan’s infatuation with Rodeo inspires him to create a new persona named Leah. Leah and Rodeo grow close through whispered late night phone calls, and when Leah agrees to meet Rodeo face to face it is Logan who must finally prove that he can ask for what he so achingly wants.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Burn This Film At The Stake. I hate pretension.

    It’s a Nazi kind of hate, really. One gets told something with a snotty air and, depending on your world view, you either realize very quickly that you’re being talked down to and deal with it or, the correct response everyone should have, you go to your car, pop the trunk, take out the Louisville Slugger and go to town until they say something that you can understand, namely “Uncle.”

    I have such animosity for this trailer that I can’t help but feel that if I took an informal poll of everyone who watches the first minute of this thing, and tried to gage how fast your money was leaving your wallet to be able and see this thing, I would have a percentage that would be damn near zero. And, the thing is, it didn’t have to be this way.

    I don’t know who was in charge of making this trailer but when I watched this thing open up with a kid, standing all alone in a room filled with balloons and the sound of a fire alarm, I thought, “Bitchin! This like Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” video! Kid probably went all ape shit and killed everyone with an uzi or an AK or Glock or a TEC-9 or some kind of automatic machine gun with enough ammo to put down an entire prom procession. I was foaming at the violent, American mouth I have.

    And then we get creepy European voice over guy.

    Essentially, and I completely understand if none of you ever sit through this whole thing, this proper, accented fellow matter-of-factly states that, “Warning, the movie which you are about to see is an account of several days”¦fantastic and unreal in their nature”¦” I’m caught off-guard at first. I think this is a joke or that we’re leading into something tangible. No, we plunge into this dude’s narrative where we’re exposed to how this movie is about a middle schooler that has a story so overwhelmingly profound that it will be “ferociously locked in your mind for years to come” The fuck?

    It gets better.

    Not only is the screen cluttered with credits and places where this film has played but the snippets of film we get of this brooding young man seem ripped from the latest CK ad campaign. These snippets of a story, and who knows if there really is one, is art for art sake and implies no vicissitude to whatever any of us may have associated with what middle school is like. Yeah, the masturbation scene is a bit much as well; it’s gratuitous on an exploitative level. It’s sick.

    And let’s get to all the kudos that flash on the screen. Yes, this is probably a really profound movie but when you basically have just one shot throughout this entire trailer, a young boy who is obviously grappling with his own homosexuality and cross-dressing leanings, which consists of him sneering like a little whiny bitch it’s hard to feel like I would want to shell out money just feel like slapping the protagonist around for a while. This kid may be very likable but we can’t gleam that from the trailer!

    When I see a trailer I want eye candy. I want to be seduced into the wiles of artistry that an entire studio helped to make. Instead I am bombarded with arrogance, pomposity and no reason why I need to see this in the theater.

    The director has a movie I wish I could see AMERICAN FAME PT. 1: DROWNING RIVER PHOENIX, I could riff for an hour of how I wish that Carl guy from SNEAKERS and that kid from THE EXPLORERS never went the route of drug abuse, but this film is about as abhorrent in audio and video slop as I have ever consumed.

    PAPRIKA (2007)

    Director: Satoshi Kon
    Cast: Megumi Hayashibara, Toru Emori, Katsunosuke Hori, Toru Furuyas
    Release: May 25, 2007
    Synopsis: 29 year old Dr. Atsuko Chiba is an attractive but modest Japanese research psychotherapist whose work is on the cutting edge of her field. Her alter-ego is a stunning and fearless 18 year old “dream detective,” code named PAPRIKA, who can enter into people’s dreams and synchronize with their unconscious to help uncover the source of their anxiety or neurosis.
    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Positive. Crazy.

    I would suggest a nice, deep, long bong hit (of tobacco of course, unless you live in California and have an “herbal prescription” to ease the pain of day to day stress) before partaking of this trailer.

    I never am quite sure of what I am about to get into when I see a list of movie titles only to start clicking away, skipping some after only a few seconds, but when I am able to stop what I am doing and take in what I’m watching then I know there’s something to it and this is no different. Now, while I’m really dead set against to those saccharine soundtracks to Japanese anime movies and programs, you see throngs of geeks lining up to purchase the OST of various productions at any comic book convention, the ditty here isn’t so bad. It’s not “Good Luck” by Basement Jaxx from the APPLESEED trailer but this ephemeral number will do just fine.

    The other thing you need to keep in mind is that, unless you read the synopsis of what this film is about, there isn’t any way you’re coming out of the experience knowing which side is up. I was intrigued, initially, simply BECAUSE I was just presented with the film without any context. When we were all babies we learned by observing and intuiting. As you watch a woman walk into a strange, strange garden you can just feel your mind trying to make sense of it.

    Get a little further into the trailer.

    Shattered glass, strange cityscapes and nightmares we’ve all had, the sensation of running without being able to get anywhere, of falling, of flying of bending reality in odd, yet physical, ways make for just enough room in the part of your brain for making sense of the absurd.

    “Evidence that Japanese animators are reaching for the moon, while most of their American counterparts remain stuck in the kiddie sandbox.”

    Damn, I’ve never seen a bitch slap happen inside a trailer but since there’s a first time for everything I can say that most anyone’s objection to this would be overruled on the account that the New York Times is right.

    A dude rips himself open only to reveal thousands of blue butterflies, a giant Stay-Puft marshmallow woman terrorizes a Japanese city, wreaking havoc and delivering destruction, J. Jonah Jameson authorizes a full-scale military assault on said woman and, at the very end, we’re clued in that a single woman named Paprika is like a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS kind of lady. It looks like she goes into dreamscapes but, to do what, I have no idea; although, the answer is enough to make me want to pay to find out.

    Brilliant mix of music and animation.

  • Trailer Park: 300 vs. Revenge of the Nerds and How Your Votes Can Help Me Win A Prize

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Quick note: Want to help me out this week? Go on over to Gather.com where I posted the first chapter of my book, Thank You, Goodnight, in the hopes I can win the First Chapters prize from Simon and Schuster. You’d be doing me a huge solid if I can at least make it to the final rounds and since I’ve never really pimped my book in this space I hope this could be the beginning of something really good or it could mean my writing really sucks and I deserve the mantle of writing a column named Trailer Park. Anyway, thanks for reading… http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976932701
    Do you consider yourself a geek?

    I ask only because there have been moments in the last week that seem to perfectly illustrate the idea of gripping that lingua franca of oddballs and about how some push it away as far as possible.

    When you opened your newspaper, or clicked your way through Digg, on Monday morning the one piece of information which should be old news by now is 300’s triumphant take at the box office over the weekend. It’s success was never in doubt, just how much it was going to pull in was up to debate. I believe even the most aggressive pundits were short a few million in thinking how many people were going to show up to watch a bunch of dudes get all homosocial with one another and then go out to slaughter other humans. The story behind the story here is not so much its financial take but the way in which this movie moved from obscurity to full-on hype by the film’s release.

    It honestly started back in July of last year when Gerard Butler, Zack Snyder and the rest of the 300 crew showed up to try and create some momentum for the movie. What should have been a Meet-N-Greet turned into a love fest and it was all thanks to the bright lad at WB who thought, “Let’s create the kind of preview that will leave people talking.”

    That was all that had to be thought up in order for this movie to have snowballed into the juggernaut it is today.

    Where a lot of people, and by people I mean media hacks who want to lump every marketing campaign that uses the Internet as a means, not as an end, see viral marketing as a failed experiment that ended with the SNAKES ON A PLANE fiasco I can categorically state that the reason why SOAP failed was because it depended on GODZILLA-like ambiguity of its product.

    There wasn’t any way that those behind 300 did a little shuffle with their feet as the leached out just enough money shots, had those behind the film come out to embrace it and then followed-up with just small bursts of awareness campaigns that kept the movie in front of you, just not in front of every website and blog that would accept the marketing funds of a studio just hoping for a #1 bow.

    So, what does this all have to do with REVENGE OF THE NERDS. Apart from the seemingly disparate time in which they were created and the kind of subject matter inherent in them, these movies show the power of support, support of the public variety.

    I can understand that there are some actors that believe that participating isn’t their bag and that the movie should be all that’s important when it comes to the finished product but the funny thing about the Special Panty Raid Edition of NERDS has Curtis Armstrong, Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield and the movie’s director all providing a commentary track for the new DVD. Noticeably absent is ER’s Anthony Edwards who, depending on what really happened, passed on the chance to put his personal stamp on a film that has really defined the nerd experience in the early 80’s for a lot of people who grew up on this film. I can understand that Anthony just wants to forget this movie was what helped establish what would eventually become his empire but it’s just disconcerting that Edwards would eschew this, being the one real hold-out from a cast that involves dudes who have went on to star in an Academy Award winning movie, a successful syndicated television show, an acclaimed television series that will forever provide a sweet royalty check and a director who, well, he made that one movie with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas that I didn’t think completely sucked.

    A movie of this comedic resonance deserved a Special Edition if for the only reason that as long as you thought something was funny about it years ago the movie still holds up as something that shouldn’t be ashamed of, but embraced for what it is. It’s great, real great, to see there were some of the pivotal people for NERDS that thought that, as puerile as it may be, it is what it is and so toss the geeks what they really want.
    oint is, you have to admire guys who put on capes, acted in front of blue screens, brought a comic book to life and have no compunction about being proud for a movie that speaks to a large segment of the male population. You don’t have to shout from the mountain about every piece of work you do but it’s petty in a Sean Penn “I never want to talk about FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH” sort of way that’s just glaring to witness. Whenever you take a check from someone you have to internalize it somehow, you obviously thought that trading your time for money was OK, and it was just plain great to see the men of this film just ignore the trappings that go along with what some think makes acceptable work of an actor and what does not.

    And from the Department That Has No Bearing On Films, The Innocence Mission, a band I would gladly slay a few hippies for if they asked nicely, has a new album that came out this week. If you’re into acts like The Sundays and have been aching for music to have in the background while you watch rain falling you could not do better than these stalwarts of musicianship. As a favor to me, buy it and get mellow. Look for an interview to follow shortly so familiarize yourselves.

    SHOOTER (2007)

    Director: Antoine Fuqua
    Cast:
    Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña, Danny Glover, Kate Mara, Elias Koteas, Rhona Mitra, Rade Sherbedgia, Ned Beatty
    Release: March 23, 2007
    Synopsis:
    SHOOTER is an action-packed thriller starring Mark Wahlberg as Bob Lee Swagger, a former Marine Corps sniper who leaves the military after a mission goes bad. After he is reluctantly pressed back into service, Swagger is double-crossed again. With two bullets in him and the subject of a nationwide manhunt, Swagger begins his revenge, which will take down the most powerful people in the country.

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    Prognosis: Nah. A couple of things:

    1. Good for Marky Mark. I really liked him in that middle-of-the-road Oscar contender, THE DEPARTED, let’s be fair that Marty’s re-make wasn’t as good as GOODFELLAS or CASINO, perhaps the AVIATOR, and call it for what it was: passable. What I think that THE DEPARTED did teach me, however, besides the fact that a lot of people bought into cherub-faced Leonardo’s “toughness” was that Marky Mark is really good at this joke called acting or he just has enough charisma that carry him though whatever part he’s given.

    2. This movie represents even more responsibility for the pop hip-hopper in a major film. Yes, he had THE ITALIAN JOB but, really, Charlize and the rest of the ensemble was really what helped pull that movie through the box office like a juggernaut.

    That said, then, I like the way this movie looks.

    I do, however, have some worries that I don’t really need to be at the theater in time when it starts because we’re given all the information we need about this movie in one long introduction. Por ejemplo, when we open up to Marky’s world he’s in the backwoods, evidenced in movies like COMMANDO and CLIFFHANGER the forest is the one refuge where a strong leading man can go for solace or to “regroup” before slugging it out once more for life, liberty and guns, and of course there is something there about why he’s so reclusive. He drinks Bud, most definitely listens to Toby Keith, likes to pump-n-dump with the ladies who obviously dig this kind of guy and, of course, the government wants him for one..,more”¦mission. (By the way, that the hell is up with that Fu-Manchu whispy crap on the boy’s face? Whiskers? Hair? Last night’s conquest?)

    So, after we see that Mark can shoot from a mile away with a pimp-ass CGI weapon, that the president is in danger, that he’s one of the “only ones” who could help find this miscreant and, hold the phone, it’s a set-up!

    People, I know you’re all, for the most part, smart individuals. Can anyone inform me why I wouldn’t want to just come into this movie a good 20-30 minutes late? We’re almost at the half-way point of this thing yet I know everything I need to get me through this movie without missing a beat.

    “I didn’t start it but I am going to see it through.”

    This is the BOURNE IDENTITY without insane car chases or exotic locales. I was hoping for a plot twist that didn’t involve a conspiracy where we have people saying how awesome Marky was in his past life as a soldier and that “OMFG! STFU dats pure PWNage lol!!111!!” when Marky gets his cammo all smeared over his face as he comes back for retribution.

    I guess the added element Marky’s girl being snatched away from him is fairly original as the sniper hunt near the end of the trailer looks nifty but is it worth a full admission at the theater? Seeing how after I paid to see SNIPER with Tom Beringer and Billy Zane I felt like I had possibly invested in a flick that was marginally worse than THE JERKY BOYS I am not about to get excited at the prospect for a movie that only looks bigger with regard to budget.

    THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (2007)

    Director: Martin Weisz
    Cast: Jessica Stroup, Reshad Strik, Michael McMillian, Daniella Alonso, Lee Thompson Young, Ben Crowley, Eric Edelstein, Michael Bailey Smith
    Release: March 23, 2007
    Synopsis: The sequel to the 2006 horror re-make THE HILLS HAVE EYES which grossed over $41 million at the domestic box office, is written by horror legend Wes Craven and Jonathan Craven and will be directed by Martin Weisz. The storyline follows a group of young National Guard trainees who are attacked by mutants during a training mission in the New Mexico desert.

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    Prognosis: All Sorts Of Positive. First of all, don’t apologize.

    This kind of entertainment needs to only do two things for it to be successful enough, in my book, to qualify as a success:

    1. Exceed it’s budget with the amount it takes in at the box office and home video sales.
    1. Be violent, gory, toss in a little T&A if possible and be devoid of anything resembling a plot or logical thinking.

    These are the reasons why everyone who hated the first one will love the second and, if it’s successful like the SAW franchise has been, a third or a fourth.

    Too many people will look at movies like this and write it off but I say that this trailer is the reason why it’s going to do well enough. It’s vaguely creepy, the story is set up wonderfully and we get juuuuust enough of a tease to satiate your desire to peep the mutants who live in the hills. Never mind that these freaks managed to move on from where they were in the first movie, we got an emotional buy-in with a child saying hello to her mother via cell phone. With this, we’re put on the hook as it contextualizes the people who inhabit this film. We actually care about one of them at least and it’s not even five seconds into this thing.

    We’re given an explanation of why this military-style squad possesses cell technology in the first place “National Guard Training.” Perfect thinking. It’s plausible, reasonable and we get our geographic bearings with two complete thoughts.

    Further contextualization reveals that this location ALSO, like our first installment (How very convenient), was the site for nuclear testing; anyone look into the likelihood that there really could be crazed mutants walking the earth with all the people going to the “atomic testing” card that has set up so many films, comics, books, etc”¦, in the past? Geez.

    So, these “troops” roll into a deserted base where one of our potential victims says, “Where is everybody?” At this stage in the game wouldn’t it be wise to either radio back to HQ or get the fuck out of there, pronto? Again, here I go, with the logic. I have to stop that. Right, trust in the fact that common sense will lose out to sheer stupidity of our characters.

    “Last year”¦The lucky ones died first”¦On March 23″¦The lucky ones die fast. “

    The above tagline doesn’t get any more perfect than that. Whoever thought that up deserves their double-mocha, soy, frappuccino on the marketing company’s dime all next week. It’s perfectly aimed at that core 17-25 demo.

    Mixed in with all this marketing goodness, and it is good, we get slivers of what the mutants look like; an eye here, some movement here behind a lady who, in my estimation, might be taking a dump (Look for yourself and report back”¦), a body shot and an eerie score all make for some good build-ups.

    The various quick shots of our invaders, the promise of heavy firefights with government issued artillery, some choice looks at what might happen to a few of the captured and some unexplained splatter all are excellent choices for a trailer that knows what it is and what it needs to do. The tongue lick at the every end? Every bit of brilliant.

    TRADE (2007)

    Director: Marco Kreuzpaintner
    Cast:
    Kevin Kline, Cesar Ramos Ceballos, Alicja Bachleda-Curus, Paulina Gaitani
    Release: April 13, 2007
    Synopsis: Adriana (Paulina Gaitan) is a 13-year-old girl from Mexico City whose kidnapping by sex traffickers sets in motion a desperate mission by her 17-year-old brother, Jorge (Cesar Ramos), to save her. Trapped and terrified by an underground network of international thugs who earn millions exploiting their human cargo, Adriana’s only friend and protector throughout her ordeal is Veronica (Alicja Bachleda), a young Polish woman tricked into the trade by the same criminal gang. As Jorge dodges immigration officers and incredible obstacles to track the girls’ abductors, he meets Ray (Kevin Kline), a Texas cop whose own family loss to sex trafficking leads him to become an ally in the boy’s quest.

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    Prognosis: Il Est Excellent. I apologize for going down such a low-brow road but from the New Jersey mouth of Carl in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, “That’s friggin’ awesome.”

    I saw a riveting, compelling, and every other shocking ““ing you can stick at the end of some verbs, documentary about the sex trade. It only scratched the thin surface of how people are traded, duped and then become prisoners against their will but this movie looks like a nice representation about the drama of what happens when these women are promised one thing only to land themselves in a quagmire of violence and deceit. So, herein lies the issue: How do you make a trailer that not only coveys this but also ties back to something that Ma and Pa Kettle can understand and relate to back in Bumwad, U.S.A.?

    You juxtapose, of course.

    I really like, I really do, the image of the densely populated terrain, mountainous, in some country that doesn’t look familiar to me. I’m distant from it but see what happens when we then look at the image of some suburban landscape with all these houses that look alike (I’m deep in the heart of one myself). Large foreign capital, large domestic capital. Little baby in far off land, little baby with domestic mama. Some transference starts to happen but there needs to be more in order for this compare/contrast thing to work.

    “Every year more than 1 million people are trafficked across international borders…”

    And, pop, we get it. We see a woman who has obviously traveled to some country in the hopes of something, we’re not led to know what it is, but she’s violently taken somewhere. Again, we don’t know.

    “”¦Against their will.”

    Little girl on a bike. She rides and is then kidnapped. Kevin Kline, so good to see him in something that doesn’t involve buffoonery, holds a flashlight but we don’t know what he’s looking for. The utter silence and lack of story could kill lesser flicks but it’s working like a champ here.

    We’re given a little something: Kevin is on the hunt for his daughter. A kid, in search of his younger sister. What’s driving a lot of this is the beautiful cinematography and music that doesn’t play too much into our sympathies but rides the moment we’re in like surfers on a crystal wave. These two men, on a mission, juxtapose with the women who have been taken from their lives and put into a situation where there seems be a little aggravated battery and a whole lot of isolation.

    And then, from out of nowhere, the music just takes over and it’s blisteringly sweet to listen to as we see Kline, this brother, his sister and Kline’s daughter struggle physically with what’s happening around them. Emotions are just ebbing and flowing and, oddly, none of this feels maudlin or saccharine.
    By the end of this thing it’s hard to realize that this is the kind of thing that happens every single day on this planet without any of us realizing it and this trailer captures that panicking feeling if you found out it happened to someone in your own blood line.

    GRINDHOUSE (2007)

    Director: Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino
    Cast: DEATH PROOF: Kurt Russell, Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Rose McGowan, Michael Bacall, Eli Roth, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Marley Shelton, Tracie Thoms, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Omar Doom PLANET TERROR: Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Naveen Andrews, Marley Shelton, Michael Biehn, Stacy Ferguson, Jeff Fahey, Michael Parks
    Release: April 6, 2007
    Synopsis: Grindhouse ““ noun ““ A downtown movie theater – in disrepair since its glory days as a movie palace of the ’30s and ’40s – known for “grinding out” non-stop double-bill programs of B-movies.

    From groundbreaking directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez comes the ultimate film experience: a double-bill of thrillers that will recall both filmmakers’ favorite exploitation films. “Grindhouse” will be presented as one full-length feature comprised of two individual films helmed separately by each director. Tarantino’s film, “Death Proof,” is a rip-roaring slasher flick where the killer pursues his victims with a car rather than a knife, while Rodriguez’s film explores an alien world eerily familiar to ours in “Planet Terror.” Welcome to the Grindhouse – it’ll tear you in two.

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    Prognosis: Positive. So, I’m riding along in a car with a new business acquaintance, Amir.

    The topic of discussion touches upon Comic-Con and, before letting it known how big of an inward Geek I am, gauging whether divulging the information would be cannon fodder for an uncomfortable hazing with fellow co-workers back at the office, Amir is down with the whole scene. He’s never been to San Diego and wanted to know what the big appeal was in going. I was at a loss to try and put it into words that could wrap around its largess and indescribably strange, and face-meltingly insane, vibe.

    But I did relay what happened when Robert Rodriquez and Quentin Tarantino took the stage last year and introduced PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF to the world. The footage that Robert showed just lit the place on fire. Apart from Robert’s insistence that NO ONE even think about doing any kind of recording at all, the moment kind of encapsulated what the Con can be if you want to market right. 300 proved what advance word could do and I would expect nothing less of this production as well.

    The problem, though, with marketing this movie by trailer is that you need to beat people into understanding what you’re trying to do with this project. Simply put, it’s two movies, fake trailers and a whole lot of exploitation done out of ironic love for the genre of grindhouse film. Now say that three times fast in a trailer. Somehow, though, that’s exactly what happens when you’re exposed to the marketing campaign right from the beginning.

    The trailer lays it right out for all of you out there who are still a little shaky about whether grindhouse is the name of the film that they’re showing or unsure about whether you’re getting one film directed by two different people. Yes, if you’re reading this you’re more than 99% ahead of everyone else in America but look at it from a layperson’s point-of-view. Out of focus camera work, visual cues, narration that takes all of eight seconds to explain everything and the kind of straight off the street vibe that’s unmistakable.

    You get Danny Trejo kicking all sorts of ass, money shots galore, Rose McGowan in all her celluloid dissolving glory sexing it up for the rest of us, and an honest-to-God helpful narrator who is thumping us over the head that these are two, separate films.

    Cue Robert’s flick with a 30pt font “FIRST” and have it explained to Ma and Pa Kettle. Done. Toss in some Apple-infused graphics that give the whole sequence a dated look, skim over the plot and tease the audience with just enough T&A and unexplained violent confrontations. Done. Oh, and be sure to keep that one sweet sequence of Rose using her prosthetic leg in a ferocious gun battle. The fan boys love that.

    Cue Quentin. The challenge here is getting me to stop thinking about guns and guts. I’m not so sure it’s helpful putting Quentin’s last because there’s a lot of talking in this preview and I ain’t keen on so much jibba jabba when I’m postulating why I’m not seeing even more explosions or violence. Yeah, the car crashes are cool and I am pleased as all hell that Kurt “Jack Burton” Russell is in here but I feel kind of limp, sartorially speaking, in that this movie doesn’t feel like an exploitative, derivative homage to wanton sex and violence.

    I’ll still see the flicks, no doubt, but I’m already wondering whether I’m going to be more wooed by one or the other.

  • Trailer Park: Premiere Magazine is Dead. Long Live Premiere.

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    We begin today with a quotation:

    My ashes, as the phoenix, may bring forth
    A bird that will revenge upon you all:
    And in that hope I throw mine eyes to heaven,
    Scorning whate’er you can afflict me with.
    3 Henry VI (1.4.35-8)

    For those who need a little more context this essentially says, “Ha-Ha.”

    Not just a Nelson “Ha-Ha” but a hearty Bob and Doug McKenzie, blow a couple of bullets from your nose, kind of “Ha-Ha.”

    I normally don’t take too much satisfaction in pointing out the demise of a periodical that I bought on a consistent basis and enjoyed the hell out of for simply the level of respect given to the medium.

    I can’t stand, and if you’ve digested the various magazines devoted to movie making and the business of film you know where I’m coming from, when pundits who have too much time and too readily an access to a thesaurus want to appear to have the linguistic arsenal to deconstruct a movie while championing obsequious movies that neither you nor I will ever the time, or temperament, to watch.

    But, really, I have a bad case of schadenfreude and it filled me with utter delight to see that Premiere magazine is no longer printing any more issues.

    Sure, this story would be different if certain things never happened but they did and there isn’t anything that can change that the very same man who wrote me this note is now in the unemployment line.

    Dear Mr. Stipp:As the editor in chief of Premiere, I was completely unaware of any conversations you may have had with Jessica Letkemann. Our Trailer Stash online feature grew out of Tom Roston’s “Notes From The Dream Factory” column in Premiere’s Jan/Feb 2007 issue about movie trailers. The editorial department thought it would be a good idea to extend the concept to premiere.com, and so Trailer Stash was born. As a former freelancer, I sympathize with how you feel, but I can assure you that none of us on the magazine side of Premiere had any idea that you were doing this sort of column or that you had talked to premiere.com about it.

    I hope we can work together in the future.

    All the best,
    Peter Herbst
    Editor-in-Chief, Premiere

    But, in the end, even a legal boilerplate response to my inquiries as to why I believed something so lame like a trailer column could be boosted like a pack of Chicklets in a 7-11 wouldn’t prevent the progress of karma.

    It is, however, a hollow victory because, like I mentioned, I actually bought the magazine. I loved the balance it struck between film criticism and puffy journalism; I mean, really, a Day In The Life of an Extra? I’m not pointing fingers as to what could have went wrong for these fine, upstanding people but any story that wants to sing a swan song for the little engine that couldn’t only need to look over their shoulder and see how magazines like Empire in the UK are managing to increase their market share while evolving with their audience.

    In fact, one of the contributing issues about why this once mighty mag has taken it on the chin is its inability to adapt to the marketplace. I know, for some, the talk of how to monetize a property is about as exciting as watching an episode of The Simple Life but take a look at one publication, Advertising Age, had to say about the harbingers of doom that led to this moment:

    Premiere’s paid circulation has declined slowly over the years, from an average of 616,089 in 1995 to 492,498 in the second half of last year, according to Harrington Associates and the Audit Bureau of Circulations. Even more ominous, Premiere sold 24.7% fewer ad pages in 2006 than it did the year before, according to the Publishers Information Bureau.

    I know, as a salesperson, having to go out and hustle ad space isn’t easy, especially when you can’t show an advertiser a return-on-investment figure that would make it appealing to them to open up their checkbook. They never really messed with the formula that got them to where they would eventually die on their feet and, I would posit, that’s exactly what’s wrong with traditional “old media” types nowadays.

    You can’t just expect for people to be satiated with getting all their awesome, super cool information in a monthly digest. It’s simply not as relevant as the Internet, certainly not as fast, and that’s what’s killing me when I see geezers think that to stay true to what worked in the past will always work in the future. Premiere had no significant web presence in the way of exclusive material, no outreach online to other web entities, a site that looked like it was crafted by a 2nd year computer science major and a shocking disdain to incorporate any of these things as a last ditch effort to save what was left of their publishing shell.

    Since I’m not the one walking to Premiere’s HQ with a stogie in my mouth, walking into a well-lit office, surrounded by neophyte sycophants who tell me that every idea is a great idea I can’t say what was going on in the last throes of this magazine’s life. I do know, though, that stubbornness to take an excellent brand that most would kill for to the next level is appalling and, in the end, they self-destructed their print publication with the kind of panache that’s usually reserved for the “thump-thump” of a fast moving squirrel that’s eaten by the underside of some Firestones that are strapped onto an H3. For that, huzzah, good fellows, you’ve done well in not figuring out how to stay afloat and viable.

    It’s hard for me not to care about the great pieces that came out of Premiere’s camp but it’s easy, real easy, not to just a laugh a little on the inside based on the buckets of vitriol I have for the poor way they choose to do business. They would do well in seeing this as a new opportunity and a chance to embrace the ways to be inventive on the Internet, without cribbing too much from those who have been here longer and possess a little more class.
    KNOCKED UP (2007)

    Director: Judd Apatow
    Cast:
    Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jason Segel
    Release: June 1, 2007
    Synopsis:
    Allison Scott (Heigl) is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone (Rogen) results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby’s father, Allison decides to give the lovable doof a chance.

    An overgrown kid who has no desire to settle down, Ben learns that he has a big decision to make with his kid’s mom-to-be: will he hit the road or stay in the picture? Courting a woman you’ve just Knocked Up, however, proves to be a little difficult when the two try their hands at dating. As they discover more about one another, it becomes painfully obvious that they’re not the soul mates they’d hoped they might be.

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    Prognosis: Negative; I Am Not Drinking The Populist Kool-Aid On This. This could either be an unmitigated disaster or this could be the one comedy you could actually con your old lady into seeing.

    One of the biggest issues, though, I had with this trailer is that by the end of this thing you’re not quite sure of whether this is going to be filled with the same raucous and raunchy comedy we all came to know and love from THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or if this is going to be VIRGIN-lite; however, I’m feeling it’s more of the latter.

    The opening of this trailer is mediocre and kind of vanilla. I’m not so much taking contention with the pacing, we’re whisked right into Katherine Heigl’s place in this movie, we’re led to believe that Allison (or Alison with one “L” as IMDB and the trailer seem a bit conflicted about what was written on her fictitious birth certificate) is some homely PA who is getting her chance to be in front of the camera. Before we have any other idea of who the hell this chick is or why we should try and comprehend what’s going on we go over to the much more interesting Ben character who is knocking out some homey into a dank pool and getting his swerve on as a pathetic looking bachelor with no future. Harold Ramis’ presence doesn’t really provide anything more than just extra context with the idea that Ben is a gimp with no prospects in life.

    This is where we all can see everything that’s about to happen and, thus, rendering the first fifteen or so minutes of this movie essentially pointless; David Mamet had some things to say about filmmaking where you could walk into a film way after it’s started and still get what’s going on and it wasn’t complimentary. 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN excelled because right from the word “go” Carell was inordinately interesting and pathetic. Let’s hope that the same is the case here.

    What’s more alarming is that the moment we get to sample from the film where we’re given an extended scene is where Ben’s friend hits on Allison’s friend who happens to be married. It’s excruciating because you’re expecting something funny to come out of this, obviously it was put there for a reason, but the big “pay-off” just hangs there like a stale fart.

    “Eight Weeks Later”

    And this is still not funny! Everything that’s come out of Ben’s mouth isn’t amusing, his one-night-stand turned impregnated lady isn’t interesting, and this whole set-up is taking way too long. I actually suffer from the shakes in the sheer terror that this flick is going to be a turkey, that it’s not as quick with the funny as its predecessor.

    It’s not until we get ¾’s of the way through things where I wish I had a CUT AND PASTE option for myself. It’s here, only here, where we actually begin not to laugh but to actually feel like we’re given an actual movie to be sold on. I don’t why in God’s sacred name we’re given a Traveling Wilburys ditty, it’s kind of disconcerting in an Odd Choice sort of way, but Seth’s actions from this point actually pump life into what could-be for this movie. Treating his girlfriend’s children like pets when he plays with them? Funny. Paul Rudd’s distillation of what marriage is actually like? A little fetid with all that we know marriage is not but it’s still amusing. Katherine’s meltdown in the delivery room? Um, I think we all agree that we’ve seen this before and it was funny the first few dozen times we’ve been exposed to the joke.

    “”¦And how grown-ups are born.”

    And the Voice-Over Guy? Completely cheesy in every way and acts like a harbinger of how un-VIRGIN this movie looks like it’s going to be. Buyer beware.

    THE KINGDOM (2007)

    Director: Peter Berg
    Cast: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Jeremy Piven, Danny Huston, Richard Jenkins
    Release: April 20, 2007
    Synopsis: Foxx stars as whip-smart FBI Special Agent Ronald Fleury, who has just received the assignment of his career: assemble an elite team (played by Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper and Jason Bateman) and go to Riyadh to hunt down and capture the terrorist mastermind behind a deadly attack on Americans working in Saudi Arabia. The feds have only one week to infiltrate and cripple a cell bent on jihad to western society.

    No training could prepare Fleury and his team for the disorienting culture shock they face once inside this scorching foreign land–a byzantine maze of profiteering politicians and storefront terrorists. Bound by handlers who refuse to play ball with the U.S., the agents quickly find the local law enforcement more hindrance than help and soon grow uncertain of anybody’s allegiance.

    But when a sympathetic Saudi police captain helps them navigate Riyadh politics and investigate the true cause of the attack, Fleury finds an unexpected comrade-in-arms. In their lightning fast attempt to crack the case, the partners’ search leads them straight to the killers’ front door. Now in a fight for their own lives, two teams on opposite sides of the war on terror won’t stop until justice is found in The Kingdom.

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Positive. Don’t be fooled, Americans, THE KINGDOM was filmed right here in Phoenix.

    I find this bit amusing and I can’t figure out why. There have been other locations that have doubled as something else but the fact that they’ve passing off the Middle East for a freeway I travel almost every day just makes me laugh a lit on the inside. For a little bit of realism, check this out and let the truth run free.

    We open up to people playing a rousing game of softball as we’re told it’s the Western Housing Compound, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Again, it’s not. It’s Arizona. In fact, a lot of these places look oddly familiar to me.

    So, as a whole lot of people are playing the game we get some gunshots and then even a drive-by mixing things up, and I think you could easily mistake this red herring for an assassination as I think it was done to probably to help the visitors feel like they were back in LA. Anyway, they go with the whole assassin thing, detonating a large explosive device, it’s a pretty sweet looking explosion too, done in broad daylight so you can really make out the grey plumes and orange punch of flame, and we get a really awkward exchange between Jamie Foxx and his on-screen kid. The young’n says he’s not one of the bad guys and the kid retorts that he isn’t either. Ok, so what? Were we to assume that Foxx is some kind of lethal dude but it’s OK to help kill other people so long as your sanctioned by the Gub-Ment of the US of A? The message is a but muddled there.

    Props for the trailer just quickly whipping through the introductions of Jason Bateman (Good for him getting so much more work), Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper; we’re given a taste and that’s all that’s needed at this point.

    “It’s a bit like Mars.” This is a line that Cooper has as we’re into the thick of this murder investigation that’s being headed by these government employees when he describes what it’s like in Saudi Arabia and all I have to say is wow. He not only nailed SA but AZ as well; you do not even realize.

    Things kick up an even greater notch as we get that instrumental music, a lot of drums banging and the tempo is just like an accelerator pedal pushed down to the floor, with expediency being the order of the day here. It seems that there is a lot of politicking here, let’s hope this doesn’t become another solid, but real slow on the action, SYRIANA which could happen. The one saving grace is that Peter Berg is behind the wheel so there is some hope here.

    We get more music, more action here and there, and the next thing you know we’re back in Arizona with these guys driving on my freeway; sorry, it just takes me completely out of the moment. However, I am really digging on where we’re going. It seems this Cat and Mouse movie wants to live up to the idea of moving forward and being smart about it as well. You just sense it. Even as we get a shoulder fired RPG, coming out of a wicked attack scene, I am completely on board for this ride.

    Oh yeah, a car flips over near the very end of this thing. I think I passed that mile marker a few times last week on my way back from work in Scottsdale.

    I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE (2007)

    Director: Chris Rock
    Cast:
    Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi
    Release: March 16, 2007
    Synopsis: I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE, written, directed by and starring Chris Rock, is a sophisticated comedy about marriage and the lure of a new love. Nikki (Kerry Washington) is the exciting free spirit who makes Richard’s (Chris Rock) daydreams come true while Richard’s wife Brenda (Gina Torres) is so preoccupied with her own career and raising their two children that she has little time for her husband.

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Awful. At the beginning I’m on-board for all the usual trappings of a comedy; somehow, sometimes, I wonder if there is just any other way to open a 1st person movie without having to resort to Voiceover Guy or narration from our protagonist. Que sera sera.

    So, we get Rock explaining how awesome his life is. He chats up his wife of seven years. This actually helps us kind of understand what this movie is going to explore. The woman isn’t a shrew, isn’t looking to rip his wang off at any opportunity and doesn’t seem like the kind of gal looking to cuckold him. So, what’s the big reveal?

    They’re bored with each other.

    So, how do we proceed from here? It’s disconcerting that the trailer makers go to En Vogue’s old-school “My Lovin’” as it kind of feels like it was done for ethic and not esthetic sakes. I guess turnabout is still fair play but, people, the song is really old and I’ve taken contention with this trick on more than one occasion. However, we press on with the idea of how to make a 7-year itch go away without it seeming like a stupid, vapid insult to our collective intelligence.

    We take two steps back with the trailer when Rock proposes to buy his wife some suggestive undergarments only for her to grab the granny panties in typical form. Simple question, if his marriage was so awesome then why did he say it was at the beginning if his wife doesn’t want anything to do with sex? It’s rhetorical but logistically valid I think considering how everything starts.

    Now, Rock meets an old friend in the process of purchasing the panties in question and the friend not only is still hot but flashes him a nice smile and her soon-to-be-purchased see-through thongs. No, nothing could come out of that, right?

    Right. Rock asks us all, like we’re in the pitch meeting with him, What would it be like to be single again? (Gasps everywhere) The problem with this question and, consequently, this trailer is that we switch allegiances. Not a good thing if you want me to follow what you’re saying.

    At first Rock seems like he’s the protagonist with the problem that needs working out, he’s living in a pressure cooker of a life that seems long gone from his days as a bachelor, but then he becomes the possible cheater, thereby, switching any good will we have for him and his family to his wife who, possibly, shows her love throughout the film. This ancillary storyline about this past friend fucking up the works with her hotness and flirtiness just serves to confuse. And if you don’t believe this theory just listen to the slow soul soundtrack that plays behind his wife as she’s near tears wondering where in hell her husband is at and tell me there isn’t something happening.

    The premise seems like almost perfunctory to the larger issue of what to do about staleness in a marriage. That you can’t look and fantasize about other ladies seems to be, somewhat, at the crux of this but it’s all very scattered and, I posit, the message is lost somewhere in this trailer.

    OCEANS THIRTEEN (2007)

    Director: Steven Soderbergh
    Cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Elliott Gould, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner
    Release: June 13, 2007
    Synopsis: In the new sequel to Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Twelve, the cast is reunited with director Steven Soderbergh and producer Jerry Weintraub. Joining the cast for the new adventure are Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Love It. I absolutely hate it, and I realize that in an era where Hitler exterminated millions of people in the name of his own insanity that hate is strong word not to be used flippantly, but I hate it when I have to endure a long, wordy, opening for a trailer.

    It doesn’t help me understand the movie, I feel it’s lazy and self-indulgent of the trailer makers to do it and I am loathe to even try and figure out what in the hell I’m listening to when I don’t understand the context.

    I love this long, wordy opening.

    Since I’m familiar with this OCEAN’S franchise, as are a lot of you, we kind of all “get” what Pacino, who looks back to form in some regard here, is saying as we open on a large, sweeping vista of Vegas (Best city in the world for Boozin’ and Losin’, IMHO), is saying as he describes the kind of hurt he wants to put on Danny Ocean and crew. We don’t need to know much but because we know he’s talking to Clooney and because we all know what kind of a rabbit turd OCEANS 12 was so we know it couldn’t get worse than that I am willing to say that Clooney really shines as well with his witty retort back to Al.

    Now, since this is teaser, the name of this game is time and I feel that the teaser takes a bit of a misstep when, in the scene following the first one, we have George kind of hint at what this job is going to be as Brad Pitt gives his one of his own “O” faces.

    I do like, however, the sweeping montage of disguises that our guys are going to don this time out. While it’s not riveting or engaging it certainly makes for a smile when you can see Don Cheadle as the closest thing I’ll see to a black Elvis this year.

    I’m glad that Casey Affleck and Scott Caan are back for reasons that should be clear when you watch the first entry into the series; they are really the pivotal goofballs that make watching OCEAN’S 11 more than just a casual comedy. They’re weird, we’re not given a shred of back-story, yet they’re just amusing to look at.

    The other thing that makes this teaser note-worthy is its ending with Andy Garcia. I didn’t know what to make of him standing in front of the mirror, looking all pimp, with Clooney asking if he’s ready, to do what we have no idea but who gives a fuck, and as soon as Garcia says he was born ready it is Clooney’s eye-rolling that seals the deal for me. It’s subtle, funny and makes me eager to see what this job will entail.

  • 10 Quick Questions: Brandi Engel

    10quickquestions.jpg

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    This year we’re already listening to stories about how this could be the first time we get a woman to run for the White House. This year we’ve talked about how this is the first Super Bowl with two black head coaches. These events are just white noise around the fact that no one is talking about: these are all simply Americans who are now afforded an equal playing field that those who came before them had to hoe with their blood, sweat and sacrifice. To ascribe any more importance to the continual struggle we all face in our lives is to forget that there are far more important people who deserve the right to be singled out and BELIEVE IN ME deserves that honor. This is more than just a movie about women’s basketball, it’s a snapshot of how we went from irate and indignant when it came to equal rights for women in the 60’s to indifferent in the era of the WNBA.

    Never mind segregation, women and their place in organized sports was also just another way that a specific and directed patriarchal societal bubble, because there are still pockets of them in existence today whether we care to admit it or not, defined what women should be doing with their free time.

    No one bothered to ask the women what they wanted and in this film, directed by Robert Collector and starring Jeffrey Donovan as a coach who wants nothing more than to lead a band of boys, only to be saddled with a gaggle of girls who have the drive to want it more than their XY counterparts, you get the story of a man’s definition of what a woman is. By film’s end you see a unique evolution in the man the girls call “Coach” as he sees what everyone else should have known all along: Women deserve to be treated just as savagely on the court as their male counterparts and, if necessary, they can mix it up on the court just as well.

    As such, these women are not fragile, even though some of their lives are depressingly fractured, and this film showcases the intrinsic toughness of these players as it’s seen through the eyes of one coach who has to struggle with getting over his own inability to see through a sex barrier that, again, is still appallingly present in more than just a handful of men.

    The film’s use of place, Oklahoma in the 1960’s, and cinematography are effective enough to tell the story with accuracy and attention to detail. There is no snappy soundtrack, there is no schmaltzy ending that plagues so many other sports narratives and has single-handedly killed the form, there are no bombastic, self-serving, grandiose monologues where we’re led away from feeling like this is game and, instead, feels like a battle cry for war. Additionally, no, this movie will not change your world view but what it will do, however, is ask you to see where women were so many years ago and how, through fighting and struggling, the reason why you’ve come to enjoy Title IX benefits is because it all goes back to the ladies who had to blaze a path where there wasn’t one.

    The story moves quick, we’re not left to meander through meaningless plot lines and what we get is a tightly controlled script that does what it needs to do and gets out when it should. What we get, then, is a movie that simply pays homage to a very real moment in our nation’s time line without it ever feeling pushy or false.

    In an age when I wish we all could just see each other as Americans, instead of separate tribes in need of constant back-patting and fluffing by those who think they’re doing us all a favor by pointing out the apparent inequities that we’re all big enough to see for ourselves, this movie just warms you to the marrow when you see how many different ways one man could have walked away from a perceivably bad situation at a very bad time and in a very bad place for it to happen but, instead, just shuts everyone up and allows a team of women to play the same game their male brethren play while accomplishing what the boys could not: winning a championship.

    I had the honor of talking to one of the young women who portrays Candy Brown, a pivotal player in the team’s cohesion, and her name is Brandi Engel. She’s a woman who has nary anything else ascribed to her resume and, as such, I took the chance to inquire about her career as an actress in Hollywood, what this film meant to her and where she plans to go from here.

    BELIEVE IN ME opens in select cities on March 9th.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Now, you have, almost literally, come out of nowhere to star in this new movie BELIEVE IN ME. One of the first questions I had about the film when I did a little research on it was that wasn’t it supposed to come out last year?

    BRANDI ENGEL:
    Yes, I was surprised it took so long because I’m not really familiar with the post-production of movies, considering this is my first one, but I’m just thrilled that this movie is making it into theaters. People were saying [about whether it was going to play theatrically], “Well, we’re not sure”¦”

    I know it made the rounds at festivals and it did fairly well and won a couple of awards but no one was sure about what was going to happen to it. But, FINALLY, it’s going to come out in theaters on March 9th.

    STIPP: It’s in limited release but do you know which cities?

    ENGEL: On the website, BelieveInMeMovie.com, they list all the cities but I know that, actually, they’re all big basketball cities.

    STIPP: The movie was set in Oklahoma, right?

    ENGEL: Yes, but we filmed in New Mexico.

    STIPP: I heard that but why the odd difference in location?

    ENGEL: I’m not sure exactly why but since it takes place in the 60’s and where we filmed, in small towns around Albuquerque, for example we filmed a lot in a town called Clovis, and it looked exactly like the period in which this story takes place.

    STIPP: The movie captures that sense of place really well. It’s not ostentatiously thrown in there for effect but it melds the flavor of the time with the story in a nice way. I can see why they decided to film around those parts, as well. I’ve driven through a lot of New Mexico and some parts really are trapped in a time warp. How long did you shoot?

    ENGEL: The shoot was about three months.

    STIPP: When I watched the film I noticed you were on crutches for a long time. Did the person you portrayed really suffer that long with that injury?

    ENGEL: It’s actually a crazy story, about me on crutches”¦Yes, I get hurt in the script but I actually got hurt, for real, while filming the movie. We were filming this basketball scene, I was going for a layup, and I landed on one of the opposing team’s, one of the girl’s, shoes and my ankle just gave out.

    So, I got a pretty good sprain. It was my first sprain and they always say that the first sprain is always the worst. So, yeah, it was like, “Oh, great. Perfect.” This just had to be a basketball movie. So I was, sort of, out of commission for the rest of the film but I really lucked out because I was supposed to be on crutches anyway. So, in the end, they just had to rework some of the schedule to give me some time to heal”¦just give me some time to heal before we filmed some of the running scenes. But I was always taped and when we were filming my foot was in a bucket of ice to try and get the swelling down.

    STIPP: Well, considering your injury, did any of the pivotal moments in the telling of this team’s story have to be tweaked to accommodate what happened to you?

    ENGEL: Well, there were scenes that I should have been in but they just didn’t show me because of what happened. They were on a time schedule and had to get it done. And, you know, I just loved being there. It was my first film and I’m sure anyone else who did their first film just enjoyed every minute of it.

    STIPP: Tell me about that. From what little I can read about what you did before all this happened you went to LA for what should have been a seven day jaunt turned into three weeks.

    ENGEL: Well, in Pittsburgh, I had a solid theater background. Musical theater, actually. I’ve been singing, dancing and acting for as long as I can remember. So anytime when someone would come and offer a workshop, like an acting workshop, I’d attend. This guy, John Homa, the acting coach for General Hospital, came back several times to offer his workshop and got to know me a bit. He told me that there was something different about me and asked whether I’d ever thought to go out to LA and pursing a career. I thought, my parents would kill me.. “Hey I’m going to Hollywood. Bye!”

    No one in my family is in the arts. They’re all business people. It has always been, “Get your education”, “Get your education”, “Get your education.” So, what I told John was that, “As much as I’d love to and as much as I have it in me”¦I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He ended up calling my parents and said, “Look, just come out for a week. I can show you around, see how it is, I can take you on set for General Hospital”¦” And this is all right before I went to college. At this time I already had my roommate, we had already picked out bedding”¦I was going to school.

    But, while I was in LA, I got introduced to this manager somehow and, even after I explained that I was leaving in a few days, for the fun of it, she gave me this cold read for some project and I read it. She said, “Oh my gosh. Wait, don’t go anywhere. Don’t move. They’re casting for this movie, BELIEVE IN ME. I think you’d be good for this part. Here, read the part.” And here I was saying, “Uhhhh, OK.” It was a whirlwind. I connected with the part. The script was just wonderful and it was such an uplifting story.

    So, I went in, auditioned, went to the callbacks and the last callback was a basketball tryout, got the film, filmed it and decided to go back to college. I had a scholarship at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh and they could only hold my scholarship for so long. So, I had to go, put that into place and just get started with that. So, now I’m back and the movie is finally coming out.

    STIPP: Are you still in school?

    ENGEL: I’m taking this semester online.

    I have an agent who said that if I could get my classes online I should come out for pilot season”¦Because I figure if I forget about the acting thing and go back to school I would forget about all of this and move on. I mean, everyone wants to be an actress and I can’t stop thinking about it and I just have it in me to do it. I love it.

    STIPP: Are you working on anything right now? Anything coming up?

    ENGEL: Right now, no. I’ve only actually been in Los Angeles for two weeks so I’m just kind of getting acclimated. I’ve been to some meetings and some auditions but nothing big yet.

    STIPP: One of the items I read about your biography was that someone tried to steer you away from doing serial soaps, they called it “bad acting” and that you don’t want to get pigeon holed in that genre. I know a lot of A-list actors who came through the soap system and I’m curious to know if you felt”¦

    ENGEL: I don’t think soaps are a form of bad acting, at all. I was told, and I’m still really new at everything, you have to be careful in the way you start your career because it’s easy to get typecasted. I mean I hear different things, of course, because, you’re right, there are all these other actors who have become successful, but some people have told me, “It’s not right you.”

    STIPP: So, where’s your focus? School, acting?

    ENGEL: I definitely, no matter what, want to finish my degree. But, if something big does come up, and I am thankful that Duquesne is willing to work with me, I am willing to take the work if it’s offered to me.

    STIPP: BELIEVE IN ME kind of challenges the genre of the sports film, bucking the kind of trend that you see in movies like REMEMBER THE TITANS or GLORY ROAD, in that the material is treated with reverence and not exploited for that sort of big orchestra moment where the “final game” is where the entire of the focus of the film rests. Did the way they were going to shoot this movie, how they were planning on telling this story, opposed to the “Disney Treatment,” as it were, come across in the script? Did its unique angle immediately jump off the page?

    ENGEL: Yes, absolutely. And what really surprised me was that the coach in the film, Jeffery Donovan, he did a fantastic job and he did a nice job in explaining that this was more than just a basketball movie. And what really made us realize, and appreciate, what we were doing was when we met the real team that this movie is based on. We met the real coach, Jim Keith and his wife and all the girls who he influenced and coached, and it really hit home for me. And, when I met the woman who I was playing in the movie, just talking with her about how this man changed her whole life made me see how it paved the way for women’s sports and where they are today.

    We were also very much alike. We did this one interview with everybody and we ended up wearing the same thing to the interview. When I met her, when I first met her, we wore the same thing, black pants, a white shirt and a black cardigan. It was a little spooky. And, talking with her, this all was more than just a basketball movie. As well, in the movie when the coach and his wife talk about adoption it hit home for me because my family adopted my brother from Russia. That was an amazing experience and I think that this film helps to also support the idea of adoption.

    STIPP: And what the real coach feel about the legacy he’s left for those who have come after him in the realm of women’s sports?

    ENGEL: Every scene we did he seemed to have tears in his eyes. You could tell that he definitely wanted this story to be told and he was so supportive and the stories he told us were just”¦he was just full of thankfulness.

    I feel like we did this movie for him.

    ##

  • Trailer Park: Luc Besson Still Directs? For Reals?

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    One of the things I like about the Internet is that I am able to reach people who I would otherwise never get to talk to or meet. Discussing movies, in my physical space, limits me to a very focused number of individuals who already share my taste in film. Those who don’t share my opinion, and this one goes out to my sister and my brother-in-law who abhorred BRING IT ON when I mentioned it would make a great rental, and who can now suck-it because I still know I’m right, regardless of their dry white toast taste in movies, are rare. Discourse with regard to movies is hard to come by unless you’re a webmaster for a blog and even then you’re doomed to an existence of shouting into a hole where other voices are clamoring to find out why Britney Spears has left yet another rehab facility. Having a voice is only as good as those hearing it.

    That’s why I love to run Viewer Mail.

    Every person has a story and for every opinion I have I like it when someone wants to mix it up. However, one of the biggest pitfalls I see on other sites where those with differing ideas are treated with a bit of amusement and ridicule. I understand that not everyone with a web page went to school and missed the lesson about rhetorical strategies and that the most important part of learning is listening. Like the site implies, Quick Stop, I am open for business and if you don’t see something here to your liking write in and let me know about it. It’s nice to get schooled every once in a while and that brings us up to the following piece of e-mail I received. Have an opinion, people, and sack-up when the mood strikes. So, if you have a thought, disagreement, JOB OFFER (I work fairly cheap) let me know. atr0018@unt.edu wrote in and had this to say:

    I would like to comment on one of your Trailer Park articles, particularly the review of the trailer for Superman Returns in the “top trailers of 2006.” I understand that people travel in different circles and therefore hear different opinions but, I must say you seem to have exaggerated the reaction to this film in your article. I hate to see a movie’s reputation become clouded just b/c of a few internet bloggers blowing this or that out of proportion and misinterpreting a supposed “consensus” in the media. You really sure you read that many “piss poor reviews?” I dont know what you’ve read but over at RottenTomatoes Returns has a 76% tomatometer. Not too shabby if you ask me. Not only that but the film, while not a uber-blockbuster as expected, had decent legs at the boxoffice (similar to Batman Begins, a film that you probably would have referred to as a big hit b/c that’s what the media decided it was). These legs mean it couldnt have been received that badly. My own personal experience found more ppl who liked SR than the highest grossing movie of the year, Dead Man’s Chest. Sure, these articles of yours cater to a certain movie-geek (and therefore to an extent comic-book geek) crowd who have been the ones harping on this film for simply straying from the source material and not living out their “vision” of what it should have been. But there are also common moviegoers who read this, and that is why it is my belief that maybe you should do a little more research into a movie’s media “consensus” instead of simply writing based on how you read the vibe that the movie-geek community gives off. You wrote part of this article as if Superman Returns is one of the biggest flops of all time, when in fact it is far from it. It got decent reviews from critics and recouped most of its budget at the box office. In fact, there’s even a sequel on the way.

    I, in turn, wrote back the following:

    Anonymous, (I would formally recognize you by first name but I think you would take umbrage with me if I wrote “Dear atr0018”)

    Thank you for your note.

    I think you’re close in saying that I exaggerated the national consensus with the film. Where I think your and my blue and red electrical wires are crossing is that I was speaking wholly from the fanboy P.O.V. and the fact that, at the box office, the yields from this movie didn’t justify the amounts that were spent on it. In fact, just after a few weeks after the movie came out, and the financial projections were all but final, Singer was at Comic-Con to talk about the film and even he conceded that the film wasn’t the success he hoped it would be. (I’ll be honest, I would send you the audio of that discussion but I have yet to get to it. There’s an interview I still have to run from that time which may see the light of day in March. I suck, I know that.)

    I also am taking the side of Ebert who put it best when he said the movie was, “a glum, lackluster movie in which even the big effects sequences seem dutiful instead of exhilarating.” I get that. I understand exactly what he’s saying. After I played it and watched it again on my home theater system it reinforced the diametric differences between what the trailer promised and what the movie delivered. It was a good movie. It was a solid movie BUT it just wasn’t what Superman SHOULD have been. There should have been more POW where there was deep introspection.

    Also, look at the box office figures. Straight from Box Office Mojo the movie cost $270 to make (Lord knows the advertising and marketing budget wasn’t cheap, either) and only raked in 200 at the domestic box office. Sure, the foreign markets helped to make up the difference but if I’m a multi-national corporation I don’t see a movie that is limping to break even as a successful tent pole picture. It’s not a failure, either, but it’s hovering in that quasi-limbo arena of success or stinkbomb. So, I agree that it had “decent” legs but they weren’t the kind of legs that I am sure Warner’s were hoping for.

    And no, I wouldn’t have rated Batman Begins as high as I did, I loved that film, plus it got trailer props for last year’s list because it had a strong trailer that represented the movie well and not because it was “a film that you probably would have referred to as a big hit b/c that’s what the media decided it was.” Come on, now, play nice. The movie did as well as it did because it crushed the previous incarnations completely and totally; it deserved its success on its own merit. My opinion came in a long time before the movie ever came out so there’s no way I could have played favorites based on media bias, it’s the kind of position I’m in. I said the trailer for The Queen sucked and look how well that movie has done. I said the trailer for Superman Returns looked great when I reviewed 2 different trailers *before* its release so it sucks for me when I have to end up eating crow by admitting that I was fooled by the trailer.

    And, you’re right, a sequel IS on the way and, you know what the best part of that is? Singer has established everything he needed to in the first installment to pave the way for a more “popcorn” film, like X-2 was, for the sequel.

    I really appreciate your note. I hope this letter doesn’t come off snarky or anything less than trying to trade information back to you…even though you didn’t even sign your name like the coward philistine you probably are! It’s not often anyone writes in so I dug being able to write back….

    See? I didn’t threaten to punch him in the cock for being an asshole in disagreeing with the way I chose to interpret things, I took it as an opportunity to actually have a conversation of sorts.

    Regardless of what’s going on everyone has a unique view and I don’t know how to address the very audience I’m writing to unless you speak up.

    Enjoy the weekend and apropos of absolutely NOTHING but my own shameless self-indulgence in the sport, and for the life of me I can’t explain that for every cinephile who enjoyed MAJOR LEAGUE, with a MEN AT AT WORK Charlie Sheen gearing-up for his brother’s greatest filmic achievement and who would’ve thought all these years later it would be Dennis Haysbert, aka Pedro Cerrano, who would be the real star of that flick, hates to even think about real baseball, I’m fully engorged that Spring Training for The Chicago Cubs, straight representin’ yo, has finally started. There is a world beyond the silver screen and it is the hope that this team finishes a few notches above last place that keeps me coming back year after year.

    LUCKY YOU (2007)

    Director: Curtis Hanson
    Cast:
    Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, Robert Duvall, Debra Messing
    Release: May 4, 2007
    Synopsis:
    In Lucky You, a professional poker player (Eric Bana) gets a lesson in life from a struggling singer (Drew Barrymore) as he collides with his estranged father (Robert Duvall) at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Negative. When will this collective fascination of Texas Hold’em just die as I believe the fifteen-minute expiration has long since passed.

    I say this because, one, I can’t play and, two, this movie feels like a knee-jerk reaction to the populist fervor that has built-up around every Tom, Dick and Harry looking to cash-in on the moment.

    I will, note, however, that this movie seems perfect in every sense of the word with regard to thinking about movies that will make perfect rentals come the summer when dudes are inexorably trapped in the aisles of their local Blockbuster and trying, desperately so, to find a film that won’t incite domestic violence.

    That said, this trailer plays every moment by the numbers, even giving us the Idiot’s Guide opening of how to play the card game whilst Barrymore and Bana are tableside in a casino; this is the oddest combination, Vegas cool with a cotton candy presentation.

    I like and appreciate that the trailer makers here went with a soundtrack that is completely devoid of any Gwen Stefani love jangle, any K.T. Tunstall estrogen infused jingle and actually manages to walk the line of staying right in the background as we try to get our footing for why we’re following these two people. It seems, at the start, that this is just a story of a guy who likes to gamble and the woman who digs that in someone with a lot of potential as a mate. I’m not sure this is exactly where you should drop that this love fest is being directed by the guy who did 8 MILE and L.A. CONFIDENTIAL as we really haven’t seen anything that would warrant proclaiming it so but that’s just me.

    “I could’ve played it safe”¦that’s not who I am.”

    Never mind the fact that Duvall comes into this trailer way too late but that there’s a palatable feeling this seems to be a movie not about one dude’s struggle to get a grip on his life but that Duvall is going to be schooling his absent son about the finer points of living one’s life with a lady. Bana makes the above quote and I feel the blood reeling from my retinas as I cannot believe The Hulk has went all squishy for a paycheck.

    Cue crying Barrymore, set things up to have their eventual dénouement at where else but the World Series of Poker, have events set in motion where Bana will (GASP!) have to probably choose between his love for the cards and his heterosexual need for some of that crazy Drew action.

    Ooo, and I almost didn’t stick around until the end of the trailer, but it seems that not only is it the last table at the WSOP but that Duvall and Bana are the LAST people at that table. Hence, making the choice of what to do at the end all the more Hollywood-ish; it makes me sick that some wag got his mortgage paid writing this crap.

    I just saved every single one of you $10 and an excruciating night at the movies.

    LITTLE CHILDREN (2007)

    Director: Todd Field
    Cast: Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly, Patrick Wilson, Noah Emmerich
    Release: Now Playing
    Synopsis: Loosely based on the acclaimed Tom Perrotta novel of the same name, LITTLE CHILDREN centers on a group of young marrieds, whose lives intersect on the playgrounds, town pools and streets of their small community in surprising and potentially dangerous ways.

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Positive. Much like an author who I would admire enough to follow for a few works because I enjoy their voice (Charles Baxter, Ted Rall anyone?) Todd Field is a surprising addition to those whose work I choose to take an interest in if for no other reason than he has more acting credits to his name than he does directing jobs.

    I mean, Drippy? Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Drippy? Yes, one and the same and it’s amazing that he captured the claustrophobic lives of a couple who find their own lives closing in on them with IN THE BEDROOM. If that film doesn’t rock your parental core then there isn’t anything out there that will. The mood, the emotional weight and depth of the characters played by Tom Wilkinson and Sissy Spacek are well represented with sharp acuity and, to top it all off, we get Tom Cruise’s cousin getting the kind of send-off I wish would happen to a lot of people who slip through the justice system’s fingers.

    With this trailer we get a lot of what I loved about IN THE BEDROOM compressed into this damn-near wordless, music-less, voice-over-less representation of lust, betrayal and family gatherings.

    As things open I’m not sure if I’m watching a movie or an advertisement for the latest and greatest in genital herpes protection. I’m quickly able to downshift the smartass after a lone train’s approach sufficiently smothers the Good Morning America tableau with Connelly and Wilson playing people who obviously would like nothing more than bash one another’s temples with wooden meat tenderizers.

    And, please, if you haven’t already figured out that as Wilson lets that glistening water drag slowly down his well-defined spinal column as he extricates his soggy, albeit tight, ass from the community piss pool, myself I find it never looks that sexy when I drain water down my leg from the pockets inside my board shorts because it looks like I’m urinating on myself, that Winslet is imagining anything short of hot monkey love you need to go back to school. Seriously.

    With great earnestness I say that the moments that follow where, unless you’re an unfeeling troll, Wilson is with his kids, putting on that happy daddy face, and Winslet talks about her needs as a woman I can absolutely sense the pain and misery that is about to roll right though these people’s lives in ways, I believe, would rival FATAL ATTRACTION, a movie that was forgone in its conclusion because of the craziness of its antagonist.

    Huge fan of whatever woman fills the red swimsuit. Huge fan. Don’t know who it is and I don’t care. No additional comments here, just wanted to make that known.

    There’s also a lot to be said about the ending for this trailer where bells are ringing, the train that’s lingered there for a while in the soundscape is now “passing” by on the tracks, the anguish that’s on full-display, all of it. I am thankful that I don’t really understand what is happening. There’s just wonderful composition of the moments that were chosen here to be included.

    See, I oftentimes am amazed by the money shots that are used by any number of trailer makers when they decide a preview. Most of the time I am completely complicit in advocating a trailer to have just a disconnected ending when it comes to action films. This doesn’t translate well to dramatic pieces but this trailer here, though, managed to have great shots while being able to string them together with great passion while imbuing it all with an elevated sense of dread.

    There’s no way this movie could have slid so far underneath the radar but it has and I hope the Oscar nod helps to get people out there in seeing whether this movie can manage to do what the trailer is selling.

    ZODIAC (2007)

    Director: David Fincher
    Cast:
    Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Edwards
    Release: March 2, 2007
    Synopsis: Based on the actual case files of one of the most intriguing unsolved crimes in the nation’s history. As a serial killer terrifies the San Francisco Bay Area and taunts police with his ciphers and letters, investigators in four jurisdictions search for the murderer.

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    Prognosis: Positive. Okay, come on, who is on the Robert Downey Jr. bandwagon?

    Does his shit not stink that much where everyone who considers themselves a fan of film forgive all his indiscretions? Yeah, I’m in that camp.

    Somehow it’s easier to look beyond drug abuse than it is if this guy was convicted of diddling 15 year-olds, his face pasted on network TV as he’s busted by Chris Hanson and Dateline NBC.

    I also happen to be a wagon bander when it comes to David Fincher. Yes, PANIC ROOM was a little absurd but you can’t take away the precision that Fincher possesses when it comes to composing a shot. He’s special and there’s no way I would trade one Fincher flick for a handful of Chris Columbus’. What’s so great, then, about this trailer is that we finally are allowed to get a small taste, an effervescent smell of what is to come out of THE ZODIAC.

    I absolutely love the beginning of this thing. You’ve got a majestic cityscape, the 4th of July, with fireworks all bursting in air, and you’ve got the pop-pop-pop of gunshots. People fall to their death inside their cars as the unseen assailant slowly walks away from his crime. It’s beautiful to look at as you realize this just FEELS like an important entry into Fincher’s oeuvre.

    I know it would be easy to take umbrage with the heavy-handed rolling out of facts with regard to this movie’s plot, Jake G. walking into the San Fran Chronicle as someone reads herr Zodicac’s letter to the editor, confessing to the killings of a couple of teens.

    The obsequious tone of the letter, eager to please with the information of who he killed but not enough to say why or who he actually is. You can actually feel the tension through the moments that follow. Even though I cannot claim to be eager at wanting to see more of Chloe Sevigny’s morose mug, it’s Jake that really pulls the weight here.

    Also, and this is important to note, The Zodiac himself is wonderfully positioned here. You get a great sense for the kind of confusing terror he inflicted on the people of San Francisco; the paranoia, for one, is a great place to start and you get a palatable dollop here.

    What’s more is that as we get further and further into this Jake becomes a small, yet important piece into the kind of devilry this killer possessed and how the ciphers he passed along to the papers were, in effect, notes that may or may not have been blatant pleas for someone to stop what he felt compelled to do.

    The small facts of this case, the sketches of what the killer looked like, the admission that there were no usable fingerprints, the ballistics, every little portion of this case is couched to us in a way that fascinates and doesn’t bore.

    “Killing is his compulsion, it is in his blood”¦”

    The funk-tastic soundtrack, the eeriness of how deep Jake gets with this case and how involved in it he becomes is all cause for rejoicing because this looks like a film that hopefully sees Fincher doing what he has done best: put you in a moment that feels tense, is tense, and make you believe that you’re hip deep in it.

    It can’t be worse than PANIC ROOM, right?

    ANGEL-A (2007)

    Director: Luc Besson
    Cast:
    Jamel Debbouze, Rie Rasmussen, Olivier Claverie, Gilbert Melki, Kate Nauta, Serge Riaboukine
    Release: May 25, 2007
    Synopsis: A man meets a woman in Paris”¦ Down-on-his-luck petty criminal Andre (Jamel Debbouze) has reached the end of his rope. Irreversibly in debt to a local gangster, with no one to turn to, his only solution is to plunge himself into the Seine. Just as he is perched to do so, a fellow bridge-jumper beats him to the water. Diving in, he saves Angela (Rie Rasmussen), a beautiful, statuesque and mysterious woman. As they pull themselves out the water, the two form a bond and venture into the streets of Paris determined to get Andre out of the hole he has found himself in. As Andre will find out, not all debts are financial, and sometimes the solutions to life¹s problems are found in the unlikeliest of places. Is Angela simply repaying Andre for his kindness, or are there other forces at work beyond his comprehension?

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Loved Every Moment. Two things about this trailer:

    1) Since it is directed by Luc Besson it gives me the chance to stump for one of his best directorial outings well before Gary “EEEEEVEERYONE!” Oldman’s performance in THE PROFESSIONAL: THE BIG BLUE. Amazing, amazing movie with a delicate score.

    2) This looks like a return to good filmmaking for the man who punched me twice without asking with THE FIFTH ELEMENT, the worst film, next to THE JERKY BOYS, ever made.

    This opening’s smoky, jazzy feel is undeniable. It’s like everyone involved is caught in molasses, with our protagonist calling out to God and asking Him if this is what He wants as he contemplates throwing himself off a bridge.

    Beat, two beats, slowly pan over to a woman with mascara running down her face as she makes the leap before he has a chance to say “STOP.” Cymbal crash, beat, beat, beat. The woman has extricated herself from the drink and holds a lit cigarette in her hand, forget about the fact she’s drenched and how could she light a match when”¦she just looks like a woman who you’d like to treat poorly for a night. This woman makes smoking look like not such a bad thing. Nice.

    Beat, beat, beat guitar slide. Not since Madonna used an air dryer to blow-dry her pits (and I really hate those things because your hands are all wet when you have to touch that metal thing and so you think that other dudes have pushed it as well and their hands were probably dirty and so you feel like your hands are still dirty even as you stand there twisting your palms over again and again) has being dried off by an appliance looked so sexy. It’s hot and not just in a Paris “Spunk Sponge” Hilton sort of way. She’s intriguing.

    I love the way the cards explaining who Luc Besson is come sliding in; they’re slick looking, it’s not ostentatious and they are riding the same cool wave our players are.

    “You have until midnight”

    Things just get going from here as we find our protagonist hanging over the edge of the Eiffel Tower. What’s amazing is that we don’t know what this guy did or needs to do by midnight but he has our sympathy. He could be completely rotten, and we may wish for his demise when we actually see the film, but this trailer is brilliant and garnering emotional support for the man.

    Now, the moment when Angela is spreading her legs in a way that Sharon Stone only wish she could have done well? That’s when I am on board for this train. I don’t know how this fits into the narrative but the moment here in the trailer is spot-on as we glide away from here and get a better understanding of how Angela is going to help our threatened man from getting whacked. The shot of her head as the shot is layered with it seemingly attached to a headless statue of, ta-da, an angel is a nice touch.

    These two share a few moments together as they make their way through this landscape, sharing a few laughs, getting stopped by thugs with machine guns, but you’ve got to catch this one moment in the trailer where they kiss. It feels so right but Angela’s eyes flash up at us and it looks like those vampire eyes so reminiscent in films right before they devour their prey. I so do not know what to make of this and why it looks so macabre but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it would be pretty sweet if she did take a nip out of his jugular.

    So many unanswered questions about this film remain at the end of this thing but I am delighted that’s the case because this movie looks ripe for viewing completely cold; the trailer does just enough to sketch the outline and now all that’s left is to see how it all fills in.

    Wonderful trailer.

  • Trailer Park: Me and Premiere, A David and Goliath Story

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    Usually I reserve this space for unloading on whatever seems stuck between my two ears and is in need for some happy ending releasing. It’s also meant to be light, airy, refreshing and devoid of any serious emotion; that is unless I’m talking about THE FOUNTAIN, in which case, it is coming out on DVD in May so be forewarned. It has come to my attention, however, that there is something that has raised my ire and I am in need to discuss things for the way I see it and for what I believe is blatant thievery and a rip-off of what I do here.

    A long time ago, in December of 2005, I sent an e-mail to some individuals at Premiere a note with regard to finding out what I could do in order to get into their magazine. I thought, at the time, that the publication was one of only a few that catered to a certain film fan, not the casual fan who needs gossip mixed in their 5 paragraph essay-style reporting, and I believed it was their dedication to giving something more than just the glitz and glamour of your everyday type of entertainment magazine.

    And everything pointed in that direction when I inquired about freelance work at Premiere, if even Premiere.com, and, being green behind the ears of traditional print journalism goes, what I could do in order to be considered as a possible stringer of some kind. Basically, it was me begging but using a whole lot of superlatives in order to confuse and obfuscate the issue. It happened to work, coincidentally, and I was put into contact with a very nice, very eager beaver who wanted to talk with me. Her name is irrelevant but what she did was indescribable. When this woman at Premiere heard who I was, who recommended me and that, golly-gee, already wrote for a pretty successful movie web site, she treated me exceptionally nice. It was great. For the first time, upon the prodding of a fellow writer at Poop Shoot, I sucked in my gut and stood behind the work I did and told someone in the position to look at me, “I write well enough and have compelling work to prove it.”

    This was a first.

    I’ve written a book that I am quite proud of but have never hocked it here because it’s a little weird for me to boast about my abilities. Sure, I can, and have, sold everything underneath the sun, including Property/Casualty Insurance to people in the manufactured housing market which, while very difficult, was one of the best positions I’ve ever had. It’s hard work, selling, but when it comes to my work I don’t do so well. I do, however, have a great ability in selling the site I write for to someone who wants to know what it is. Whether it’s some PR flunky who has zero clue about Poop Shoot or Quick Stop I have turned being reticent into a persona that has stumped hard to being content here. And this contact of mine at Premiere was all ears to hear how and what I could do for their website in order to make it better than it was. We had phone tags, she would try to get a hold of me, I was trying to get a hold of her. We had went back and forth with dates to get together and we finally, finally, settled on a day and date to talk. I had notes, for God sakes, scribbled down on a piece of paper and as I rattled off what I’ve done to make Poop Shoot a nice diversion for those who visit me on a weekly basis and that I believed that it’s important to be relevant to the audience you’re trying to reach and that a Podcast with the Premiere imprint would do well in a landscape that was, until then, untapped by any meaningful alternative for a weekly outlet that would speak to the demographics. I went on and on. I could tell she was interested. “Uh-huh, go on” or “Yeah, anything else?” she said. I thought I hit a nerve, a good one, somewhere with her. I had envisioned being able to pay an electric bill with a paid story or even having a Premiere.com address. We talked and talked for a while about every idea I had until my well went dry. She was thankful and said she be in touch.

    “It was decided that we’re going to do everything in-house,” was what came back to me soon after we had our chat.

    She asked me to “keep in touch” in case there were any openings. I did. I was, and am, a sales guy and if I’m given that little sliver of door to get into I follow-up. She thanked me for my time, my energy and for keeping on top this as it sounded like I was really passionate about it. Yeah, everything that an ex-girlfriend would tell you to keep things on a serious tip was what I got. But, the thing of it is, I was fine with it. These things happen. Zero times zero doesn’t mean a whole lot when your list of paying gigs represent a big, thick O. I let the thought go and admitted to myself that even though I thought I had the winning lottery ticket it was better to have gone through it than just living my life without ever knowing what pitching my ideas to someone who was interested in hearing them was like.

    Like a guy who should have known better, when I followed-up my calls weren’t answered. My phone messages weren’t returned, my e-mail wasn’t responded to and it was only after a sensible time passed when I went from Johnny Persistent to Get A Clue, You Fuck. And so I did. I stopped calling or trying to get in.

    And then I see this. Premiere‘s answer to “Trailer Park.” It was downright upsetting when I saw what passed for their interpretation on what I’ve built, what Bob Klein started, really, because I know enough to give credit where credit is due, and frankly it’s just awful that when I wrote to the person who I initially talked to last year regarding what a trailer column could look like Premiere.com I got the same response I did after I was pumped for all the information I had: Nothing. Not an explanation about how “Yeah, it’s kind of similar” or “No, it’s not similar at all” in kind. I guess it’s good enough to thieve, crib and pass along your own ideas as yours just as long as you’re big enough. I, also, am fully aware that there might not be any kind of impropriety at all going on, however, I am also aware that brushing me off and not exchanging common courtesy when its extended doesn’t make them look good, either.

    I won’t bag on the writer who they have writing the column because I am sure she’s a nice person and doesn’t deserve any of my ire whatsoever, although she would do a lot better with it if she… Well, my ideas aren’t free; they are to everyone who is close enough to me to ask but what does a mega corp care about a little writer from Arizona who writes a weekly column without fail (Her column isn’t weekly, a shame) and who toils for free with only a stand-up editorial support system keeping him from slitting his wrists on the latest issue of Everyday With Rachel Ray that the wife keeps around the house?

    Enough to give the impression that they’ve pilfered an idea and have tried to make it their own. If the adage is to let the work speak for itself then I think it’s fairly clear that while I don’t have the balls to say I’m canceling my subscription (Again, it’s not the writers I have a problem with) but it just disappoints me to have been taken for a sucker without me being any the wiser.

    While the idea can be enjoyed anywhere enjoy the original taste of 100% goodness below.

    UPDATE: I have since been contacted by Premiere regarding this situation and I hope to give their side soon.

    ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (2007)

    Director: Julie Taymor
    Cast:
    Evan Rachel Wood, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, Martin Luther, T.V. Carpio, Bono
    Release: T.B.A.
    Synopsis:
    A romantic musical told mainly through numerous Beatles songs performed by the characters. A young man from Liverpool comes to America during the Vietnam War to find his father. He winds up in Greenwich Village, where he falls in love with an American girl who has grown up sheltered in the suburbs. Together they experience the sweeping changes of America in the late 60’s.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Negative. Hmm, what I find curious is that the description only mentions the Beatles as a cursory addition to this film when it’s really the single most important element to this trailer.

    I don’t understand the marketing, then. Is this a Beatles musical or is this a musical that just HAAAAPPPPENS to use Beatles music, in which case, the cost to license the tunes would’ve represented a large enough portion of the film’s budget if, in fact, the filmmakers had to pay for the use it. It’s a bit strange and so is the trailer if you’re high enough. This isn’t to say, though, that this is a bad trailer. It’s not at all but there are issues I have which should be clear as we get along in this review.

    Kind of going along the theme, and my postulation, that this film’s marketing suffers from an identity crisis of sorts we open on some dude, not just any dude, but a dude who is going for that wet hair, slo-mo, lip-synch that James Blunt and Chris Martin of Coldplay made famous in their respective videos of saccharine love. I don’t get why this unnamed guy is singing the song or what it has to do with a movie in general but I don’t feel one way or the other about it. I’m kind of just, well, bored by it. I get it, though, that the guy is emoting about some lass he likes but this is show business after all and I don’t see why I should part with my money for it.

    The next scene, though, the narrative really kicks in but it’s not so much a kick as it is one of those maneuvers where you wait until one of your buddies are walking in front of you and you give the foot they’ve just picked up a good old-fashioned boot that forces him to take a clomp-step and he punches you either in the shoulder or wang, depending on proximity. The story, I guess, is that this guy is going to school at an Ivy League institution and he’s a newcomer to America. The very fact that the guy’s name is Jude and the woman he’s interested in is named Lucy shouldn’t induce too much groaning but it does nonetheless.

    Cue “With A Little Help From My Friends”

    College chicks in their cheerleader bloomers are cavorting, other schoolboys are sliding down stone rails in jolly frivolity while one of the main instigators of the F-U-N that college people like to do, slides down a bowling alley while standing up. (Hey, is that Bono?)

    THEY LIVED WITHOUT RULES

    Cue “All You Need Is Love”

    Now we get these same people running like free spirits through a forest in loose fitting clothing. Free love is flowing like the wine I never had a chance to partake of and it’s all tre 60’s while skirting the very sharp line of self-parody and it feeling anachronistic. Our Limey gets himself a piece, good for him, damn near swallowing Evan Rachel Wood in the process.

    Now, here is the stuff I actually do like. The guy who welcomed the Brit happens to get shipped off to war and the trailer just explodes in a psychedelic pop of color, weirdness and oddity.

    Cue “Hey Jude”

    As you’re ralfing from the cheap sentimentality of our protagonist getting his heart broken the only relief is the laugher you feel at reading one of the cards that this movie is the of the, “MOST”¦ORIGINAL”¦EXHILARATING”¦SPECTACULAR”¦ GROUNDBREAKING”¦motion picture of the year.” Please. That is not for you to decide and it’s rather presumptuous and gauche to declare in all caps. I mean, yes, the set pieces look absolutely astounding with their construction and creativity but this trailer needs a better pitch than this.

    Cue “Across The Universe”

    THE NUMBER 23 (2007)

    Director: Joel Schumacher
    Cast: Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen, Danny Huston, Logan Lerman, Maile Flanagan, Patricia Belcher, Lynn Collins, Rhona Mitra, Mark Pellegrino, Tara Karsians
    Release: February 23, 2007
    Synopsis: The psychological thriller THE NUMBER 23 stars Jim Carrey as a man whose life unravels after he comes into contact with an obscure book titled The Number 23. As he reads the book, he becomes increasingly convinced that it is based on his own life. His obsession with the number 23 starts to consume him, and he begins to realize the book forecasts far graver consequences for his life than he could have ever imagined.

    View Trailer:
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    Prognosis: Positive. So, I’m watching SIDEWAYS.

    I’m being floored by the copious amounts of male nudity, the ass and wang combo that is so rare in today’s cinema, and being entertained quite nicely but I reflected on the backlash against the film that I am still scratching my head at even today. You can see this in more recent terms with regard to LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. Some people are using that as a whipping post for decrying its pseudo intellectualism but for those who have an issue with the film’s overriding theme, as simplistic as it is, I think they would do well to stuff their narrow-minded comments up their collective bung holes. On that point, then, it was Virginia Madsen who really snuck up in that film and surprised me.

    Jim Carrey, as well, surprised me and pleased me with regard to his serious turn in ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. Never has a movie been more poignant as it deals with love and loss, and the pursuit of trying to forget that person completely. The guy surprised me and I have nothing but love for that film.

    Fast forward to FUN WITH DICK AND JANE. I’d like to think I wouldn’t hold future projects against a performer but that movie was damn close in annihilating any goodwill I had for Jim.

    I am hoping this movie does a little more for me than DICK. The trailer does a lot though in promising this could be a return to form for Carrey, serious actor.

    As we come into the trailer, the singular moment of Virginia finding the used red book that is going to drive the plot for the rest of the movie is adequately captured. I am amazed at how forgiving I am at the ham-fisted presentation of information but it’s still good.

    Things ramp up even better as Carrey gets sucked into the world of reading really far into things dealing with the number 23. Now, even though we don’t get a real good idea as to why this book takes a serious foothold into his psyche but I’m along for the ride.

    “All numbers have a pattern”

    Now, while Carrey begins to descend into a PERFECT MIND-like obsession with tying all things back to 23, and ignoring the shit explanation by some scholarly wag about the nature of the number, even hinting that Satan is behind one meaning, I’m riveted to know where we’re going with all this.

    When the quick cuts start being slapped together, Jim mentioning the 19rd as the day when both Waco (P.S. Janet Reno lied to the American people. Enjoy being mindless sheep for whatever your Government tells you.) and Oklahoma City took place with April being the 4th month in that equation, all adding up to 23.

    And, lastly, what the hell is up with the Carrey donning the tats in the last moments of this trailer? It’s creepy as all hell, Virginia looking like a stand-in for Morticia Adams, and I am completely lost as to how it is supposed to fit into the overall theme of the movie.

    I know this flick, coming to us from Nipple-Gate himself, Joel Schumacher, is going to be more likely closer to mainstream with regard to how much you’re going to have to think I am giving thumbs-up to this trailer for the reason that I am genuinely contemplating spending some scratch on an original Schumacher.

    WILD HOGS (2007)

    Director: Walt Becker
    Cast:
    Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, William H. Macy, Marisa Tomei, Jill Hennessy, Ray Liotta
    Release: March 2, 2007
    Synopsis: Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy hit the road in this rollicking comedy-adventure about a group of middle-aged friends who decide to rev up their routine suburban lives with a freewheeling motorcycle trip. Taking a long dreamed-of breather from their stressful jobs and family responsibilities, they can’t wait to feel the freedom of the open road.
    When this mis-matched foursome, who have grown far more used to the couch than the saddle, set out for this once-in-a-lifetime experience – they encounter a world that holds far more than they ever bargained for. The trip begins to challenge their wits and their luck, especially during a chance run-in with the Del Fuegos, a real-life biker gang who are less than amused with their novice approach. As they go looking for adventure, they soon find that they’ve embarked on a journey they will never forget.
    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Can’t Someone Protest This Film? Perhaps Appeal To The Hague? I don’t do this often but I was struggling to find what angle to come in at this and I found something that perfectly couches the rest of the explanation below.

    [Taken from 1996’s TRAINSPOTTING. Used without permission but attributed thusly]

    Sick Boy: It’s certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.

    Renton: What do you mean?

    Sick Boy: Well, at one time, you’ve got it… and then you lose it… and it’s gone forever. All walks of life: George Best, for example. Had it, lost it. Or David Bowie, or Lou Reed…

    Renton: Some of his solo stuff’s not bad.

    Sick Boy: No, it’s not bad, but it’s not great either. And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it’s actually just… shite.

    I just don’t know what to make of this steaming pile of box office poison.

    When you’ve had guys who have obviously done well for themselves years ago in great films: PULP FICTION, FARGO, BOOMERANG (I know, it’s stretching) and even mass-consumed sitcom pap like Home Improvement was a commercial success by any staunch critic’s list of popular sitcoms in the 1990’s.

    Now, when you harness these guys who are on the downslide of their careers, Bill Macy being the one big pink elephant anomaly of the bunch, you have something that looks like a schmear of the thickest cream cheese and dick.

    I can appreciate, though, the opening. I can. This is a film that needs to connect with my parents, not so much me, so for that it wins points for being knowledgeable of who its audience is supposed to be and doesn’t reach any further. I mean, hell, Travolta giving shit to the leaf boy is the kind of absurd, sophomoric funny-funny that moms and dads love; it’s a great hook.

    Macy comes in, then, and notches the cock humor up a notch by having a big public display of misunderstanding not seen since the anticipated release of Windows Vista and its voice command capabilities. Again, it’s absurd, goes straight to the lowest common denominator and leads perfectly to Lawrence and Allen’s failed amusement park game where, surprise surprise, Allen gets a wayward softball in the nuts.

    Can’t we stop with the obligatory nut shots? Hasn’t America’s Funniest Home Videos taught us anything about the shelf-life for this kind of gag? I guess if you’re white and over 40 it never gets old.

    Speaking of which, I don’t know how we get from crotch shot to motorcycle ridin’ to the recent Top 40 chart topper, Collective Soul’s “Shine”, (Is that the best that some wag in the audio department could do? The song doesn’t even have anything to do with motorcycling yet, here it is, providing the soundtrack to our lives”¦) but I do know that the one laugh I will admit to having at the expense of this trailer is Bill Macy’s stunt double who wipes the fuck out after unsuccessfully executing a fist pump. (Physical humor that might be at the detriment to some sap’s health? Now that’s funny.)

    Awful stereotypes follow of what it’s like to ride a combustible engine with no windshield to protect you from cow crap or wayward birds (???) but I am ballasted by John C. McGinley’s appearance at the end of this thing; It’s hard to try and resist the power of this poorly ignored actor. He’s great but the movie looks like all sorts of ass.

    RENO 911: MIAMI (2007)

    Director: Ben Garant
    Cast:
    Thomas Lennon, Carlos Alazraqui, Robert Ben Garant, Kerri Kenney-Silver, Wendi McLendon, Niecy Nash
    Release: February 23, 2007
    Synopsis: The brave men and women of the Washoe County Sheriff’s Department — the thin khaki line that keeps Reno, Nevada on the straight and narrow ““ star in their first feature film, based on the hit Comedy Central television series. The deputies of the Reno Sheriffs Department attend a law enforcement convention in Miami Beach, where the motley crew is charged with protecting the city after bioterrorists attack the convention.

    View Trailer:
    * Large (QuickTime)

    Prognosis: Made Me Laugh Over and Over. I am sorry, I am sorry. I am sorry.

    One of the best parts of Comic-Con 2006 was being allowed to be a fly on the proverbial cow patty that was an interview my EIC had with Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant. The two stars of Reno 911 couldn’t have been more affable and enjoyable to talk to on a Sunday morning. The guys go beyond just sharing a brain, they share something you rarely even see in normal life: a bond. They seemed genuinely pleased to be in one another’s company and you could see why the show does as well as it does. When you’re doing any sort of ensemble project it’s utterly necessary to have faith in one another and it showed.

    That said, the opening of this trailer is, perhaps, one of the best for a comedy I’ve seen in months. Forget all that voiceover bullshit at the beginning as throaty VoiceOver Guy tries to bait-and-switch, I think we all could agree that we’re all wise enough to know it’s a waste of all of our time to try and sell an action movie and then, ta-da, give us something else; it’s, frankly, in poor form and a piss poor attempt at comedic trickery. When we meet up with Dangle and Junior, Junior snapping out of a nap while behind the wheel, it’s not so much Dangle making it known that Junior shouldn’t be sleeping while driving, and it’s not so much the port-a-potty that they barrel into in one long tracking shot (because that was fucking hilarious) but it’s Dangle’s “nobody in it” that gets the payoff from me.

    Further, the task of bringing up everyone who isn’t familiar with the show up to rapid speed is done quite successfully with the chicken that’s on the loose as Dangle nearly blows his foot off, Junior’s comparison of Reno to Mayberry is done without a drip of irony and then a hazed Junior walking into a door jamb whilst carrying a cigarette between his lips completes the trifecta.

    I don’t know how else to say that even though the plot kind of hinges on the outrageous premise that a hotel has to be quarantined and that Reno 911’s cops are the only ones left able to patrol but the shot of the cars leaving the garage and one of them being T-boned inadvertently, probably Junior again, makes for some good humor.

    I, as well, enjoyed the snippet of Dangle investigating a noise complaint from the residence of “a Suge Knight” and the alligator moment that, for me anyway, surprised even me; the results of which are where the real comedy comes from and this doesn’t look to disappoint in any way.

    Plus, two things that would be awful if I had to explain why they were funny: Kerri Kenny’s mishap in the po-po helicopter and Junior’s “mishap” with a dead whale. Comedy platinum.

    I’m sorry I haven’t kept up with this show on my Tivo. This problem will be rectified immediately.

  • Interview: Tanya Donelly

    By Christopher Stipp

    Archives? Right Here…

    In the end the letter would sit there until I finished this piece. More on that in just a moment.

    When I stumbled upon Belly, most known to many as the group who made “Feed The Tree” a part of so many mix tapes in the early 90’s, I was emerging from my chrysalis of musical ignorance. My diet, until then, consisted of a milquetoast cadre of hip-hop, rap, R&B and every bland, vanilla, soul-crushing Top 40 hit you could ostensibly name. It was my senior year in high school and I was, understandably so, teased and publicly harangued for my taste in music. When other students pined for tickets to see U2 during their Zooropa tour I was steeped in the rhythm and soul of the musical choreography put on by Janet Jackson when she came through town in support of her JANET album.

    It wasn’t until after I graduated high school, nearly 18 years of age, in the spring of 1993 when a friend took me to see 10,000 Maniacs at a huge outdoor amphitheater in Illinois. You want a definition of “watershed”? That was it. The musicianship, lyrical richness, passion, energy, all these things collided in my body and I knew I had a conversion of some profound kind.

    It wasn’t until a few weeks had passed when I leaned of the Maniacs’ demise. Just as I thought it would be a good idea to dip a toe into this brave new world it was all I could do to try and keep myself from slipping back into old BPM habits. You have to understand that it is not a joke when I say that I still hadn’t yet purchased a Rock album, not even after the Maniacs show, once in my life. Ever.

    But, it was Tanya Donelly who wrested my wallet free from my stingy pocket and it couldn’t have happened in the most odd way.

    It was strange but as I was channel surfing one afternoon Tanya gave an interview to a local reporter in Chicago about an upcoming show she was getting ready to do with her band Belly. During the story they played a clip from the “Feed The Tree” video. While I took enough notice that I’ve never forgotten about it, and this is the important part of the story, it didn’t do a whole lot for me. Nothing, in fact. What happened, though, during the following weeks is notable in that the news segment stayed with me. The clip replayed over and over again in my head. I was humming “Feed The Tree” to myself every now and then when it played on the radio. The tune had such internal resonance for me that Belly’s STAR would be the very first Rock album I would ever purchase in the USED section of a small record store and, to this day, represents where my musical renaissance began.

    I started purchasing mass quantities of CDs, eschewing the latest urban additions as if they were the ugly girlfriend I was happy to have cheated on, and I can tell you there has never been a time in my life, from the Summer of 1993 to the Summer of 1995 where I assimilated so many different variations on an alternative theme. From Juliana Hatfield, The Blake Babies, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, to KMFDM, Curve, Elastica, Rage Against The Machine, I was just insatiable. Although, I never forgot about Belly and, in fact, I was voracious in my consumption. From $30 imports from Japan, a special order vinyl that had just one notable song on it that I just had to have and pestered some poor record store owner as to whether it arrived, rough sounding bootlegs of Belly shows, to say nothing of the singles, magazines, tickets, of buying everything at their merchandise table when they finally came back to Chicago, I was enamored to the point of fiscal bankruptcy when it came to Belly. The music just did something to me that I still can’t explain very well without sounding like a complete geek. It was the mixture of lyrics and melody that defied you to listen to a world that wasn’t controlled by Cock Rock Neanderthals who only wanted to sing about the superfluous nature of their “dark” and “misunderstood” lives. Tanya had a grip on these things and, instead, used her music to work out more thought-provoking issues.

    I remember standing in line, a line of one actually, during a bitterly cold October afternoon in 1995 as I kept my place in line for a show that would be one of Belly’s last. Determined to be the first person through that door to see the General Admission show, only to recede to the back bar area after the first song, it was at show I learned I had a condition that I didn’t know about: claustrophobia. However, I still remember the three times I did see the band to be on par with the arena rockers I would later measure everyone else against; being in a small club didn’t matter, it was more intimate and I remember Tanya always leaving the stage with a smile, not a sneer and splintered musical equipment, in her wake.

    The band’s demise shortly after the tour that year and Tanya’s eventual solo career has been one, for me anyway, of evolution. I think I would’ve grown embarrassed as I reflect on the amount of my spending, my stumping, my need to collect everything, my unadulterated support for a band that just played musical notes and chords if it wasn’t for the book I wrote that was inspired by those two years of self-exploration and unwavering devotion. Tanya evolved as well. She got married to the bassist of Juliana Hatfield’s band, Dean Fisher, had two children, Grace Bee Fisher and little Harriet Pearl Fisher, and still turns out some of the most evocative and melodic that no one I know seems to be listening to.

    Her latest, THIS HUNGRY LIFE, is a live album that puts to shame any live album you have in your collection for the simple fact that this is sold as a live album, yes, but it sounds unbelievably sharp. I would dare any casual listener to try and take a taste test of this album and, save for the clapping at the end of songs, try and pick out the imperfections. It’s that precise and it was good enough to get me riled up enough after sensing, again, no one cared about me talking about it in public, and I decided to see what I could do in devoting an entire column to Tanya and this work.

    It’s not often I get to talk to someone who has been the basis for so much of my own creative endeavors, who really is at the core, the nexus, of who I hold up as the litmus test for any artist who wants to preen, whine, play dress-up, break a guitar or two or do anything less than make great music and enjoy the station they’ve been given in life. In fact, I count this interview as the completion of a circle she started drawing for me in the ephemera almost 14 years ago; damn near ½ of my entire life on this planet.

    She was an absolute joy and delight to talk to, my hand was getting numb from inserting so many “(Laughs)” into the piece, as I played the part of journalist and geeky fanboy all at the same time; she managed to top Lost’s Josh Holloway as the person who exuded the greatest sense of joy while talking to me, a complete stranger. We talk about her music, her passions, her kids, her inspirations and I even manage to take a jab at her procrastination that, unless it was just great timing, yielded the motherload of every Belly nerd out there.

    It was at the end of the conversation, though, that Tanya inquired about the book I wrote and it’s involvement of her music in it. She insisted that she send payment for a copy of her own even after my heart sank as I tried to stop that nonsense (I would’ve sent every other copy I had for free), feeling not only like I was the kid in the Mean Joe Green Coke commercial who is overcome with gratitude for that sweaty jersey, but when that envelope came to my house it sat on my desk unopened until this week, only after the construction of this piece had been completed. It was only after the work was done did I ever feel entitled to enjoy the spoils of my labor and thankfully with Tanya’s consistent output of music she is still amazing me in a way that makes me feel 18 again when I wait for that special New Music Tuesday to roll around in anticipation of a new album and I can see what else is on her mind this time.

    Here’s to hoping she never stops trying to part me with my money.

    CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Hi, is Tanya there?

    TANYA DONELLY: Yup, that’s me.

    CS: This is Chris.

    DONELLY: Hi, how are you?

    CS: I’m fine. How are you doing?

    DONELLY: Doing very well, thanks”¦I’ve got a new baby.

    CS: Yes, congratulations on that.

    DONELLY: Thank you so much. There’s a lot of juggling going on in that department.

    CS: I just put my one-year old down for her morning nap.

    (Laughs)

    DONELLY: That’s what mine is doing right now.

    CS: And I don’t think she was really ready yet, either. I just knew this interview was coming up and said to her, “You’re going down within the next twenty minutes.”

    DONELLY: That’s what I did too. Hopefully that’ll work out.

    CS: It’s an odd thing, trying to coordinate their schedules around my schedule. Life doesn’t feel like it’s about me anymore but I’m fine with that. But let’s get into it with the fact that this album, THIS HUNGRY LIFE, has been out for a few months. I bought it the day it came out and have been loving listening to it ever since.

    DONELLY: Thank you very much.

    CS: And it’s weird insofar that when I heard this was going to be a live album I was expecting something less than what this record actually is. The clarity, sharpness and precision on THIS HUNGRY LIFE trumps any live recording in my collection.

    DONELLY: Well, we did the multiple takes of things. It was more that we wanted people to be there while we were recording so they suffered through us starting over sometimes, multiple takes and lots of tuning because that’s what I really wanted to do rather than just taping a show. I really wanted it to be people in the studio with me, sort of speak. It was fun.

    CS: Now, was it the ten core songs that eventually made it onto the album or were there other”¦

    DONELLY: No, we also did a set”¦We also recorded a set of”¦Because we went straight to Bellows Falls from touring the record before that so there’s actually live recordings of WHISKEY TANGO that we did on tour which I will probably put up on the site.

    CS: You know, since you went there, I did my homework preparing this interview and I know I’ve read that in a few places. “When I get to it”¦” “When I get to it”¦” What is up with”¦.

    (Laughs)

    DONELLY: I just have to give my web mistress just a ton of stuff and let her struggle with it. I’ll find some of the archived material and hand it over and”¦she can deal with it.

    CS: And, because I am an uber nerd, and I’ve been a fan for a long time, I’ve known that you’ve said you were looking to put out a children’s album. Where is that? I have a child that’s nearly four and I flatly REFUSE to allow the Wiggles anywhere near my stereo.

    DONELLY: I know!

    (Sighs)

    It’s just been”¦It’s the kind of thing where we put it together, a bunch of us, and then we were really excited about it at the time and then it just got passed over and passed over and passed over and everybody started losing their enthusiasm, which happens”¦The main thing people are saying is that it is all over the place. Too much different”¦I mean that’s what we liked about it.

    CS: Right.

    DONELLY: It’s very varied but it’s what labels don’t like. I guess”¦I don’t know”¦Children’s music, so we’re told, except for a few very lucky instances, children’s music doesn’t really sell well. Stuff like The Wiggles will because it’s completely catered”¦and this is not at all. This is like regular rock music with just lyrics that are appropriate. So, people are just having a hard time figuring out just how to market it. At this point, the woman who started the whole project, Chris Tappin, she’s probably going to put it up on CD Baby and we’re waiting to hear”¦she’s going to let me know if that happens and then I’m going to let people know.

    CS: Good. Good to hear. I am just not down with a lot of children’s music that’s out there.

    DONELLY: I know”¦

    Well, neither is my daughter. She just listened to what we listened to”¦she never really listened to the kids music, per se. In fact, the other day, just to give you a little window into her perspective on the world, I said as we were looking at something to listen to, I said, “Do you want to listen to The Beatles?” And she said, “Mom, that’s a little baby-ish for me.”

    CS: Geez”¦What is she really into then nowadays?

    DONELLY: She likes Blondie a lot. She likes Smoosh. You know who they are?

    CS: No.

    DONELLY: Is your oldest a girl?

    CS: Yup.

    DONELLY: You should check them out. It’s S-M-O-O-S-H. They’re an indie band of two sisters”¦and I don’t even want to say they’re four kids because they have a huge adult following. I wouldn’t even say it’s kid’s music, it’s just music that just happens to be made by kids. And they’re great.

    [Chris’ note: I hope this doesn’t get me on NBC’s To Catch A Predator but I checked them out and this is a really great band of girls who know how to rock the mic.]

    CS: Was that important to you as a parent when you became one, coming from a fairly rich musical pedigree, to give your kids a full exposure to different kinds of music?

    DONELLY: I was less focused on what I wanted her to listen to than what I did NOT want her to listen to. Our attitude from the beginning was if it’s driving us crazy, it’s not good for the family. (Laughs)

    So, we sort of played her the stuff we liked and she likes that. She likes that stuff”¦She’s a big Vic Chesnutt fan. She loved him”¦When she was little she called him “Vic Ketchup.” And Big Star, she really likes, and she also has her”¦she and her friends listen to things like “High School Musical.” She has to have SOMETHING that doesn’t belong to”¦has nothing to do with us.

    CS: Of course.

    DONELLY: Hanna Montana.

    CS: Not Hanna Montana. The child of Tanya Donelly and Dean Fisher “¦Hanna Montana.

    DONELLY: I just don’t say anything. You know, I listened to Shaun Cassidy when I was her age so”¦That’s the kind of stuff that you laugh at affectionately. It’s not harmful; there’s no harm in it. It doesn’t really bug me as long as she still”¦she’s good at compartmentalizing. (Laughs)

    CS: And that wasn’t difficult? Exposing her to that kind of music as a kid? I only ask because I’m thinking of mounting some kind of campaign to get my kid to listen to Wilco, Neko Case”¦

    DONELLY: No! It’s amazing how they get it. Like Gracie loves the fact that David Bowie is always dressed up. He’s cool, he’s a different person all the time, he dresses up, he has all these songs and characters. They get into that you know what I mean? They way that she listens to stuff”¦I find things in it that I had forgotten about when I was a kid. There’s so much that they can re-introduce YOU to when you’re introducing music to them.

    CS: One of the things, and it makes me feel old to say it, of being a fan now for fifteen years, the lyrical content of your music, while it has always been rich and melodic, there has always been a dark undercurrent of things you’ve said have been auto-biographical, things you’re dealing with, I’m speaking here presently of a great example off of THIS HUNGRY LIFE, “Kundalini Slide”. That’s a dark song but unbelievably deceptive with how delicate it sounds. Is motherhood helping to make sense of the world, life, in general?

    DONELLY: I think motherhood makes me focus on hope more than I did but it doesn’t but”¦it’s not a cure-all for what ails me or anyone in this world. I don’t know, that’s a tough one because sometimes I feel like it really changes the way I write and, other times, when I actually sit down and listen to stuff I’m like, “Nah, not really.” (Laughs) “Not so much.” But, I think that stuff stays in my music more than it used to now that I am functioning for people other than myself.

    And it still comes out. On a song like “Kundalini Slide” those concerns, I think, are more global than just my own little”¦shit. And I do tend to think more outside of myself, obviously, that’s what happens, as you know, so that manifests itself rather differently now, it’s more concerned for everyone else. “How can I fix things for my children?” It’s making sure that I function well for my children and do what I can to make this a better place.

    CS: And how is the writing process for you now? Do you have the same kind of groove, methodology, you’ve always had?

    DONELLY: No, it’s completely different because it’s so much more structured. Especially with two kids there’s no such thing as “˜drop everything and write’ anymore. I have no books in my diaper bag.

    (Laughs)

    I do what I can! You just don’t have the luxury anymore of saying, “I think I’ll write today.” It’s more like little scraps of paper everywhere and when I have time in the evening, if I’m not exhausted, I’ll put it together.

    CS: I believe you’re deserving of a lot of credit. Not so much for just creating the music you did that put you in the public sphere years ago but because you’ve been so prolific since then with your recordings you’ve released with the amount of responsibility you’ve had in the last few years. Has that been a conscious decision, to stay on top of your art?

    DONELLY: Yeah. We are very fortunate in that we’re still are managing to get by without day jobs. And I think that being the case it gives us the opportunity to still make this work. As a result, I can still release more than I might if I had to be working all the time.

    It sounds like you have a day that’s similar to mine”¦

    CS: Yeah, you’re right. I absolutely find that I am able to write better after everyone has gone to sleep. I do my column late at night or trade in eating a lunch to get in some good, solid writing. Just with trying to start my second book it has been very difficult because I just don’t have that kind of quality time anymore.

    DONELLY: Yeah, I know, I know. You just have to mourn that and go, “Alright, how do I get it done now?”

    And, speaking of that, I heard about your book but I haven’t had the chance to hunt it down”¦

    CS: Oh”¦You know, I’ll make this a brief story: It was written about six years ago, it had Belly as a sub-plot but only in the sense that I had the germ to write it when I learned of Belly’s demise. I almost am loathe to admit that my iPod is jammed full of Belly bootlegs, B-Sides, Singles, albums, tribute albums from other fans circa 1995, everything and anything; the band meant a lot, artistically, to me as a listener of music.

    DONELLY: Oh, that’s cool.

    CS: Yeah, but that’s also strays into Uber Nerd territory. The story itself, the core of which deals with the demise of things you never know about until it’s too late to do anything about, was just too tempting not to weave the band into the narrative.

    DONELLY: Wow, that’s amazing.

    CS: I self-published it, got a well-known artist to draw the cover for me and when it was all said and done I sent a copy your way, just as a cosmic way to say “Thanks” for the muse-like inspiration.

    DONELLY: You know, things used to be so”¦I’ll say that there isn’t hardly any filter between my mail and me.

    What is it called?

    CS: “Thank You, Goodnight.” At the end of the day it’s a story of people when it’s post-coming of age and they’re in that nebulous area of when it’s pre-adulthood. It was kismet when I wrote it because I did this all right before my first daughter was born.

    DONELLY: That is so great.

    CS: It’s amusing…We actually talked, twice before this, during Belly’s last tour in 1995. You did a show at the University of Illinois and then a show in Chicago a few days later in late October. The first time, at UOI, you were enjoying a book and I intruded lightly. And then, in Chicago, I was standing in line, the first, from about noon until show time. That’s borderline lame and sad at the same time. It’s damn near embarrassing for me to even think about.

    DONELLY: No, believe me. I have had plenty of those.

    (Laughs)

    I just spent the weekend with Gail [Greenwood, Belly’s former bassist] and we had a big, mushy, sentimental time so it’s completely ripe for this conversation.

    CS: How is she doing?

    DONELLY: She’s awesome. She’s great. She’s still making music with her mate but mostly she’s doing graphic design right now. They have a graphic design company that’s extremely successful. She’s just busy, busy, busy.

    CS: Since we’re kind of on the topic, I know you’ve said that there were so many other songs Belly has done that no one has heard and it’s come back to the line, “When I get the time”¦”

    DONELLY: Well, the main thing that I want to release are the demos. For STAR, which are actually Breeder’s demos, which, unfortunately, when I went back to try to mix it down the integrity of the tape is a little bit compromised”¦because they’re so freakin’ old”¦but I think Ivo Watts-Russell, who used to run 4AD, I think he has a CD of it. I’m going to see if I can wrestle that away from him and just put it up as-is.

    CS: I’d like to know…When I was looking back at the period when Belly was nominated for a Grammy, when you were probably at that critical and media saturation point where it was nonstop attention, and now you’re at the point where you can comfortably do whatever you want is there some acceptance of that time for what it was?

    DONELLY: Oh yeah. I do and for a long time I wrestled”¦there were a few years there where I was like, “Why am I so OK with this?” With the fact that I’m not famous anymore because I do have a tendency to push things down until they”¦start to form cysts.

    (Laughs)

    And so I thought, “Oh, here I go”¦” where I go around with my hippy-dippy face on and just say, “Oh, it’s OK. The universe has given me so much and I’m fine”¦” And I was trying to just, “Let’s get this out. Let’s weep. Let’s grieve.” And I did. Briefly.

    But, I am fine.

    And it took me years to kind of figure out, “Oh, I’m just fine and let’s accept the fact.” It’s not like I couldn’t handle fame anyway. I mean, that was so cool that I got to do that and we had such a blast and now I get to do other stuff that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was still doing that. I’m a full-time mother to my children and I still get to make music”¦I have time to write and time to do other things that I want to do and do projects with other people. And, you know, I really do feel like I’m fine and especially with raising kids I would rather do that under the radar, so to speak. I think everything has worked out.

    The only thing is”¦is sometimes I wish I could get this music to more people. That’s the only thing but it’s never a lifestyle issue for a second.

    CS: I think that’s one of the nicest things of being in the place I’m in today, after following the band as long as I have, for as much as I care about the music and what it means to me, is that I can honestly state that I don’t know of an artist who has matured and evolved as well as you have.

    DONELLY: Well, thank you. My gosh”¦

    CS: When you get down to it, you can be as experimental as you want, but it does all come down to the music and the quality of it.

    DONELLY: Yeah, I know, and that’s definitely true. And when you are in the thick of it and you’ve got A LOT of people involved in your music, it gets convoluted. You can have as much integrity as a person can have and you still have twenty people constantly in your ear telling you what’s going to happen next and your process and how you’re going to do it and when they need it and how they need it. It doesn’t matter how shut-in you try to be, it gets in there. And I don’t have to deal with that.

    CS: Did that happen with KING‘s creation?

    DONELLY: KING was not so much”¦not so much with KING because, at that point, everyone just trusted us implicitly because STAR was such a fluke. There was no buzz around STAR until it happened. The label was not like, “Oooh, this is going to be so amazing.” And because that was such a big surprise they essentially said, “Ok, just do it again.”

    And when Belly broke up, and with my first solo record, they sent me back in a few times, it was mixed a couple of times, they made me write more and take songs off and put songs on. They were very”¦on top of that one. Which, at the time, I was kind of in a panic myself, that was my year of panic, and then after that I calmed down.

    CS: Do you think you’re calmer about the process?

    DONELLY: Yeah, because music is in a very different place in my life now. It’s a part of my life, it’s not the theme anymore; it’s in there, it’s a part of a larger holistic picture now and it’s not the only thing that I have.

    CS: Is the process as therapeutic as it has been or is there a shift in it’s ability to”¦

    DONELLY: Oh, definitely. Absolutely therapeutic.

    Writing a song is still one of my greatest joys and it’s how I stay healthy”¦it’s like anything you do for your health. I need to do that and I enjoy doing it. It’s weird, and it’s such a great position to be in too, as the whole family is in on it. Dean and I write together and play together and Gracie is right there with her suggestions. It’s really nice because it’s part of our life together.

    CS: To that point, on one of my favorite songs “White Belly” is just saturated in darkness but it’s so melodic and peaceful to listen to. Do you take a song like that, something that’s really quite heavy and then try to find a way, pushing the content aside, to make it digestible?

    DONELLY: Yeah, you know, that’s a really good question because for years”¦and I think this one of those un-self-aware things that, when you’re young, because I said, “Oh, no, no, no, it’s just natural. It’s the way I write.” And I do think that to a certain extent that’s true. I’m much more attracted to melody even though the stuff I’m interested in singing about is not always pretty but I’m very attracted to melody. But, as a person”¦(Laughs)”¦the older I get the more I realize as a person I tend to, when I’m dealing with something, past or present, I do tend to do it in a very “How can we make this easy?” sort of way. I’m not a head-on, confrontational person. I’m more of a “Let’s all sit down and talk about it”, “Let’s go to the beach”, “Let’s figure this out,” kind of person. So, musically, that’s how it happens for me too. It goes, “I have to say something very ugly right now so I’m going to make it really pretty to listen to.”

    CS: And your husband, Dean, is an amazing musician as well. I remember seeing him play live when he toured with Juliana Hatfield, has he been a good sounding board for your music or do you have your own way of doing things?

    DONELLY: It depends on the song. He’s a great arranger.

    Some of the things I do pop out full-blown and there it is, that’s it, it’s done. And sometimes I definitely will say “Can you help me with this one?” and more and more, I have to say, he has become sort of the musical director when we’re recording. Like he and I will hash things out at home and he’ll actually do a lot of the showing people the song, what’s going on with it, because I’ve always got a baby on the hip or”¦I mean I haven’t handed it over completely but, to be honest, the places where I excel are more during the songwriting process and playing live and, as far as being in the studio goes, I have shorter and shorter patience with it.

    I’ll go in on the first day and say, “This is the song, this is what I kind of want to do”¦” and then Dean will hash things through and bring it back to me. He’s become sort of liaison in a way. Which works out GREAT for both of us because that the stuff he loves and I get to do the things I love and it just works out real well; it’s been very fortuitous that we have the kind of strength and interest we have.

    CS: You mentioned playing live. I know you’ve said you’ve had issues with stage fright in the past. Has that waned a little bit?

    DONELLY: It has, a little bit. I still get very nervous but I don’t get”¦(Laughs)”¦It’s not a pathological condition. I think it’s just more natural stage fright that anyone would have and it’s not so horrible as it used to be.

    CS: Any hint that you’re going to be touring a little bit more than you have been?

    DONELLY: Well, we’re going to do something in the summer, is what we’re going to do and I’m hoping”¦and I don’t know if I should”¦Kristen and I are sort of talking”¦ it’s SO beginning stages”¦and probably silly”¦but we’re trying to hash out something to experience something together this summer. Manly, because we miss each other and, also, I just think it would be fun for people and fun for us. I can’t see why it wouldn’t work out at this point. It would be mid- to late-summer we’re thinking.

    CS: And where is that children’s book of yours?

    DONELLY: That has fallen so far”¦

    CS: D.O.A?

    DONELLY: I just took it out a few weeks ago and I wrote another chapter and I kind of worked on some stuff and then I put it back and, at this point, that’s how it’s going. I have this image of myself, breastfeeding on the couch while I write my book. (Laughs) It’s not quite panning out.

    CS: Oh, come on. Did you really think that would work? I could have told you that years ago!

    DONELLY: It’s not going to work at all.

    CS: Then what’s the deal? They’re like ten pages long. I read them every night. It’s the biggest con in the book business. Just write ten sentences and you’re golden, you’re done”¦

    DONELLY: Right! But this is a young adults book.

    CS: Ah, OK”¦

    DONELLY: Not even young adults, more like ten to twelve year-old girls. Adventure girls kind of stuff. That one’s going to be a long time coming”¦Actually, at one point I was thinking, “I wonder if could make this a much littler kids book?” but there’s too much I wanted to do in it.

    CS: Any good inspirations, then? I know you’re a voracious reader”¦

    DONELLY: Yeah, Gracie is at the point where she’s starting to read really interesting stuff so I have been reading a lot of, I pre-read things for her, so I read a lot of interesting”¦There’s a lot of good young adult work out there.

    CS: Lemony Snicket?

    DONELLY: She doesn’t like that….She’s not crazy about that yet. She really wants to be but she gets creeped out.

    CS: What have you been into?

    DONELLY: I’ve been reading a lot of travel non-fiction lately just because I’m interested in the world right now and”¦I’ve been reading just really weird, weird stuff. Like I just finished a book on the Moors of al-Andalus. Something will pique my interest and I’ll go to the library and read a book on it. I’m mostly into non-fiction right now but the last real good piece of fiction I read was “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.” And I was just going to start the new John Irving book my mom just got me, “Until I Find You.”

    CS: Irving has been a rather strong writer. He’s produced a lot of good work.

    DONELLY: He wrote one of my very favorite books, “A Prayer for Owen Meany.” Some of his stuff I just really love.

    CS: Since I only had a couple more questions I just wanted to know, because I’m getting older and these things are getting harder to find, what new music should I be listening to? What has rocked your boat lately?

    DONELLY: What a bad question”¦only because it makes me feel so guilty. I really like the new Cat Power record.

    CS: I’m a huge Mazzy Star fan and a friend said based on that I should find something enjoyable on the album.

    DONELLY: Oh, you would. Absolutely. And, Joanna Newsom; I like all her stuff, actually.

    [Tanya asks Hattie what mom listens to. Other than a gurgle and a coo, no new information is forthcoming.]

    I know that my husband is a big jazz fan. He is a big everything fan.

    CS: Does he have like the big, expensive high fidelity set-up in the house?

    DONELLY: No. No, no, no. He’s not like that but he has been collecting a lot of stuff lately. What else? Hmm”¦What else? Those two are really the only things I can think of. I know, though, as soon as I get off the phone I am going to think”¦

    CS: Of a few, right. Gary Smith asked me that question and it put me in such a quandary because it’s hard for me, nowadays, to find good music. The musical landscape, when I open Rolling Stone [Evidenced by the current issue with Panic! At the Disco on the cover] and realize that I can’t relate to the mascara wearing boys preening and emo’ing their hearts out.

    DONELLY: Yeah, Dean keeps up with it. He’s impressive because he listens to all”¦he just got an iPod and he listens to everything, all kinds of stuff but, me, I don’t really as much. It’s annoying to say but I’ve been listening to a lot of African music.

    CS: Really? Like Ladysmith Black Mambazo?

    DONELLY: No, no”¦Yeah, a lot of compilations because, what I am doing right now, is trying to figure out what I like”¦OH! I know something! Joan as Police Woman. It’s my friend, Joan, Joan Wasser, who played violin on the record, the new record of mine and she has her own record out which is really beautiful. It’s called REAL LIFE. So, I have been, actually, listening to that. A lot of nepotism going on in our house.

    CS: Where do you see yourself evolving in the next few years, musically? To read your lyrics you’ve already run the gamut of life, death, religion and everything in between. Is there light at the end of all this or are there always those things which will gnaw at you?

    DONELLY: Oh everything, that’s going to happen. For the most part I am a person who walks in the sun in my daily life and the only place where I can process, aside from conversations with my husband, that’s where I process my anger. One thing I have been doing, though, is doing a project here and there with other people which may or may not see the light of day so I have to stop talking about all these possibilities.

    CS: Because it’s evident you can’t follow-up on anything you talk about!

    (Laughs)

    DONELLY: Exactly!

    (I laugh)

    CS: You’re awful and I have no problem saying that from the side of a frustrated fan who needs more good music in their lives. You’re a disappointment as a woman of inspiration to so many, namely me.

    DONELLY: It just takes me years to do these things but it’s fun because it brings out stuff I don’t usually do, that wouldn’t come out of me otherwise. More collaborations, maybe, in my future.

    CS: Well, thank you so much for talking with me, Tanya.

    DONELLY: Thank you so much.