Category: Joe Corey’s Party Favors

  • Party Favors: By Bogdanovich

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    WINSTON-SALEM – Peter Bogdanovich is cinema. He went from being an entertainment reporter to an Oscar nominated director thanks to a degree from Roger Corman University. He and Polly Platt (they were married at the time) teamed up to create four hit films (Targets, The Last Picture Show, What’s Up Doc? and Paper Moon). He directed and she was production designer (among her many roles). But Bogdanovich is a passionate man which explains why he had an affair with Cybill Shepherd during The Last Picture Show. Platt stuck around for two more films. His directorial career proved rocky after Platt stopped working with him. He lost a fortune releasing a movie featuring the ill-fated Dorothy Stratten. He found second life as an actor including his time as Dr. Melfi’s shrink on The Sopranos. Now he’s teaching film students at the North Carolina School of the Arts. The man has a lot to talk about.

    Recently Adam Hulin sat down with Bogdanovich for an interview that covered the director’s career. Hulin should be known to Party Favors readers as the co-curator of the thrilling Cinema Overdrive film series in Raleigh, NC. He used to run a drive-in theater in the middle of Texas so he understands the terrain of The Last Picture Show. By Bogdanovich covers the filmmaker’s career from his early time with Corman to his friendship with Orson Welles. The special is now available for viewing on Youtube as a 12 part series. I had a chance to swap email with Hulin about talking cinema with the ultimate cineaste.

    Party Favors: What inspired you to want to conduct a career survey interview with Peter Bogdanovich?

    Adam Hulin: Originally, Second Cinema’s Matt Hayhurst wanted to shoot a 15-30 minute interview with Peter for Second Cinema and Time Warner On-Demand. He knew that I’d gotten to know Peter a little since he’d moved to NC to teach at the School of the Arts and asked if I could set something up for him. Not long after, Matt suggested that I should helm the interview and gave me carte blanche (but not a blank check) on the format. Once everything was agreed on, I prepared to do a career retrospective.

    Party Favors: What did he think of dedicating so much time to the interview?

    Adam Hulin: You don’t have to twist Peter’s arm to get him talking. He’s an amazing raconteur. I think he appreciated having the chance to talk about some of his lesser known films.

    Party Favors: Had you met Bogdanovich before contacting him for the interview?

    Adam Hulin: Yes, I had met and talked to him several times before we conducted the interview. He’s always been extremely polite and generous with his considerable knowledge of cinema history.

    Party Favors: Were there any ground rules?

    Adam Hulin: The only constraint I had was a 2-hour time limit due to his schedule. There were no rules regarding subject matter whatsoever.

    Party Favors: How was it talking about Polly Platt with him? (Platt recently passed away after battling ALS for years).

    Adam Hulin: He didn’t mind talking about her, but Peter and Polly definitely had a very complicated relationship. It seemed like it was the most strained of his previous romances. In contrast, he’s maintained strong ties with both Cybill Shepherd and Louise Stratten.

    That being said, he gave her credit for important suggestions and contributions she’d made early on in his career like pushing him to do Paper Moon after his epic western fell through. She and Sal Mineo were the two key people who convinced him that the novel of The Last Picture Show could be turned into a great movie.

    In any case, it’s tragic when anyone has to deal ALS, so my heart goes out to Peter and their two daughters.

    Party Favors: What question were you most eager to ask?

    Adam Hulin: I didn’t have a prepared list of questions, but the two topics I was most eager to talk to him about were his two biggest flops (At Long Last Love and Illegally Yours) and his two favorite films (Saint Jack and They All Laughed).

    Party Favors: Was there an answer he gave that was completely unexpected?

    Adam Hulin: I don’t know about unexpected, but I appreciated the fact that he was willing to talk about some extremely painful experiences, namely Dorothy Stratten’s murder and its effect on his desire to continue making movies. He’s never gotten over her death, he’s just learned how to live with it.

    Party Favors: Did you consider shooting the interview in black and white?

    Adam Hulin: It probably occurred to me at one point. Ultimately, I figured since the vast majority of his pictures are in color, the interview would play better if it matched up to most of the clips. Besides, you couldn’t tell what color neckerchief he’s wearing if it was in black and white.

    Party Favors: Will there be a transcript of your interview?

    Adam Hulin: I haven’t planned on it. Perhaps one day I’ll transcribe the unabridged version of the interview, not that there’s much missing from the finished film.

    Party Favors: Which of his films are your favorites?

    Adam Hulin: In chronological order: Targets, The Last Picture Show, Paper Moon, Saint Jack and They All Laughed.

    From his later work, both Noises Off and The Cat’s Meow are very good. What’s Up, Doc? and Mask were both successes and hold up well. Daisy Miller is perhaps his most underrated film.

    Party Favors: When you tell people you interviewed Bogdanovich, do you list his films or just cut to “He was Dr. Melfi’s shrink on The Sopranos?”

    Adam Hulin: If they’re under 30, I mention The Sopranos. If they’re over 40, I mention Picture Show, Doc and Paper Moon. For some reason, possibly because they’re black and white, Picture Show and Paper Moon don’t get anywhere near the same kind of TV play films like The Godfather, The French Connection or American Graffiti do.

    Party Favors: How is he liking life in North Carolina?

    Adam Hulin: He seems to be getting along fine in NC. He frequently travels on weekends to make Q&A appearances at film festivals and screenings of either his own or his favorite directors’ movies.

    Party Favors: His documentary about Tom Petty was well received. Do you sense he’ll do another rock doc?

    Adam Hulin: As far as I know, he doesn’t have any plans to make another doc, but one can never tell. As of right now, the two projects he’s concentrating on are his screwball comedy, Squirrels to the Nuts, and completing the edit on Orson Welles’ The Other Side of the Wind, which Peter co-starred in around 1972.

    Party Favors: Who do you think had a bigger influence on him as a filmmaker: Orson Welles or Roger Corman?

    Adam Hulin: Welles influenced his use of extreme depth of field photography, but I’d say Howard Hawks’ understated directing style has had the greatest influence on his filmmaking. Peter is a master of filming lengthy and difficult shots that don’t draw attention to themselves.

    Party Favors: Do you think it helped that his first film’s star was Boris Karloff so his career as a director nearly spans the history of cinema when it comes to actors?

    Adam Hulin: He’s always been outspoken about how much he adored working with Karloff. He also appreciated getting the chance to work with other classic Hollywood actors like Ben Johnson and Mildred Natwick. One of his biggest regrets is that he never got to film his version of Lonesome Dove starring John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, and Henry Fonda. Like many filmmakers, Peter feels like he was born a generation too late.

    Party Favors: Will he ever work with Ryan O’Neal again?

    Adam Hulin: He always says that he never had to deal with a problematic Ryan O’Neal on the set. Apparently Ryan was very cooperative on the three pictures they made together. After Nickelodeon some bad blood developed between Peter, Ryan, and Burt Reynolds. I think this mostly had to do with the film being a tough and physically arduous shoot. After it opened and didn’t do well, there was some finger-pointing going on all around. Peter’s biggest problem with Ryan has a lot more to do with his abusive behavior towards Tatum.

    Party Favors: When you were done running the drive-in, did you run Last Picture Show as the finale?

    Adam Hulin: I never ran Picture Show at my drive-in, even though the film’s location, Archer City, was only 80 miles away. I will say that I had a much deeper understanding of the book and the movie after having lived in the same area for four years. Honestly, not much has changed.

    Targets was the movie I seriously considered running at my theatre since it’s the greatest film to use a drive-in as a primary location. What could be more exciting than watching a film about a sniper hiding behind a drive-in screen while sitting in your car at a drive-in? It’s a shame I never got around to booking a print of it.

    Party Favors: After the entire experience, do you still have questions for him?

    Adam Hulin: He’s pretty much an inexhaustible resource of all things cinema.

    LENNY BRUCE?

    Why is Nik Richie of the dirty website pimpin’ his book proposal by calling himself the 21st Century Lenny Bruce? Cause the harsh truth is that Nik Richie isn’t even the 21st Century Larry the Cable Guy. Has he read How to Talk Dirty and Influence People? Has he heard Thank You, Mr Masked Man? Has even watched Lenny? Cause then he’d be forced to admit that he hasn’t a clue as to what Lenny Bruce has to do with his website.

    Does Nik Richie know who he really is? He’s Ralph Cirella from Howard Stern’s posse. He makes little wisecracks about how a woman thinking she belongs in Playboy has a botched boob job. That’s what Ralph does to those women who swear they’re ready to be a centerfold. But being the 21st Century Ralphie isn’t as hot as being the new Lenny Bruce. Calling yourself the 21st Century Ralphie makes it sound like you’re the lead in A Christmas Story 2: I’ll Shot My Eyes Out. Nik ought to wear a bunny suit on the cover of his book. It’s what Lenny Bruce would have done.

    THE BALLS OF CHARLES NELSON REILLY

    Celebrity Bowling was Match Game with balls in the ’70s. The program brought together four well known stars to hang out at the gutter. The dvd contains 15 match ups featuring bigger names than the history of Dancing with the Slugs. Supposedly this recently aired on ESPN Classic, but all I ever saw on that channel was forgettable college bowl games. This is a series that ought to be airing on ME-TV or Antenna TV. I’d be up for Celebrity Bowling after an episode of Love American Style. They made 144 episodes. Break out a six pack of Schlitz and take in the pin busting action. Where else will you see Billy Barty, Charles Nelson Reilly, Nipsy Russell, Roy Rogers, John Saxon, Angie Dickinson and George Foreman in rental shoes?

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Bambi II Special Edition isn’t quite a sequel to the Disney classic Bambi so much as it’s a middle-quel. Instead of starring the grown up deer, we’re taken back to the time when Bambi has to deal with growing up mother-less. His dad tries to pawn him the kid off on another lady deer, but there’s no takers for various reasons. Thus dad has to raise the child. The two learn about relying on each other even though the little one is still sad about mom’s end. Thumper shows up to make sure Bambi isn’t that good of son. Purists will moan about this not being canon. Parents will rejoice that they can put this in the rotation rather than have to watch and hear Bambi on constant repeat. The soundtrack includes a song by Alison Krauss to please the grown ups. The Blu-ray also contains the DVD so you can have it to watch in the house or the mini-van without a care. The bonus features include a deleted song, a making of and an interactive game featuring Thumper. The image looks good since the film was originally released in 2006.

    MST3K SOLO LAUNCHES

    DVDs will go out of print for various reasons. Nobody cares too much most of the time and you can find them used for less than their original retail price. But there are those special titles that soar out of control. Such is the fate of several Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes that originally came out on nearly a decade ago. Thankfully Shout! Factory is re-issuing them so MST3K fans won’t have to sell too much plasma. Red Zone Cubaand The Unearthly are the latest. The Unearthly is a poverty row quicky with John Carradine as the mad scientist dealing in mutant life. His assistant is the immortal Tor Johnson (Plan 9 from Outer Space. Tor is red hot in his role. The Bots point out his emotional range. He’s a regular Richard Burton. The invention exchange features the mad scientists evil plans for pills that are hard to swallow. Joel and the Bots create a destructive entry for America’s Funniest Home Videos. There are two educational shorts: “Posture Pals” and “Appreciating Our Parents.” Don’t fall for these lies. You should always slouch and expect mom to do your laundry without thanks. What good is unconditional love if you care?

    Red Zone Cuba is a fine piece of “torn from today’s headlines” filmmaking. In this case director Coleman Francis claims that escaped convicts were sent down to the Bay of Pigs to fight Castro. There must have been a conspiracy to make this film really bad. Which means it’s prime for Mike and the Bots to riff wild on the political intrigue. Mike and the Bots dress up in tuxedos. Mike flips out and disguises himself as Carol Channing. There’s even a T-Bone Burnett joke long before T-Bone became an Oscar winner. This is the first Mike in the lead episode released in a long while. It’s good to see him back in the jumpsuit. Along with the feature is the educational short “Speech: Platform, Posture and Appearance.” The title spoils the surprise of the film.

    Both The Unearthly and Red Zone Cuba are available only through Shout! Factory’s website (http://www.shoutfactorystore.com).

    CORMAN CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics All-Night Marathon Sword and Sorcery Collection is four movies about the time when barbarians and magic rule the world! Or at least ruled the videostore so that kids with polyhedral dice could figure out what to do with their slave girl fantasies. These four classics are packed with metal, loin clothes, bare torsos and even a few chests with extra breasts. Back in the mid-80s, Dungeons and Dragons players would go to Videorama looking for Conan the Barbarian starring Arhnuld. Odds are they only had one or two copies and they were always out. So what did you do? Rent Benji? Nope. You searched the covers for another box covered in Boris Vallejo art. That’s the shelf bait Roger Corman did with a majority of these titles. Deathstalker is Conan-esque. Rick Hill is the blond with massive pecs who has to uncover three magical objects before an evil sorcerer. His big help includes Playboy‘s Barbi Benton and Lana Clarkson. It’s something for all the viewers in that lusty trio. What the producers spent in sets, they saved in a lack of wardrobe for the actresses. Deathstalker II is director Jim Wynorski’s cheeky sequel. John Terlesky is now Deathstalker. He’s got to deal with Monique Gabrielle (Emmanuelle V, Bachelor Party and Penthouse Pet). Have I told you the story about how she came up to my college radio station wearing a tank top and silver parachute pants? She was hot in person. You can experience her hotness on this transfer. The evil sorcerer is played by John Lazar. He’s cinema royalty for being Z Man in Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. This is cheesy fun in furs.

    Barbarian Queen gives the leading role to Lana Clarkson. She’s unfortunately best known for being the actress killed by Phil Spector. In the movie, she must defend her people against evil. Even though a woman is in charge, there’s still a lack of clothing for the female characters. What these films lacks in plot, it makes up in nudity. The Warrior and the Sorceress is almost like a diabolical version of Kung Fu. David Carradine plays Kain, a warrior-priest. This almost sounds like his warrior-priest character in Kung Fu named Caine. He ends up in a town playing two rival tribes against each other as they battle for control of the central well. This duo of film were originally released as Shout! Select titles. If you already bought them last year, you can loan them out to any college kids that want an old school D&D weekend. You might want to throw in a couple Rush albums. The four films are charming cheesefests that don’t pretend to be Game of Thrones.

    MORE KROFFT FUN

    Sigmund and the Sea Monsters Season One contains more of Sid and Marty Krofft’s Saturday Morning Puppet weirdness from the ’70s. Unlike previous shows, the child star doesn’t fall into an alternate universe. The puppet comes to the real world this time. Sigmund isn’t like the rest of his sea monster relatives. He hates to scare people. He roams away from his aquatic home and into the lives of Johnny (Whitaker of Family Affair) and Scott (Kolden of The Mystery of Dracula’s Castle). The beach-loving brothers have to hide Sigmund from their housekeeper (I Love Lucy‘s Mary Wickes) and a nosey neighbor (The Wizard of Oz‘s Margaret Hamilton). Luckily they have a cool clubhouse to hide him inside. They boys parents are on a constant vacation which explains their disappearance. They also have to deal with Sigmund’s monster relatives. They’re the original Squidbillies. Belated ’70s crush Pamelyn Ferdin guests on a couple episodes. Season One has 17 episode of coastal subterfuge. The video masters have a better resolution than the previous release. There’s a twenty minute interview with Whitaker and Kolden about their lives, the shows and Billy Barty. Whitaker shows off his double take lessons learned from Mary Wickes. They’ve got cool Sigmund stuffed monsters. They included 8 mp3s of Johnny’s songs from the series. Rock out! Coverage of Sid and Marty with Olivia Munn is included. Sid tells the tale of the time they met Walt Disney. I’ve never seen Munn so wrapped up and proper. They have Sigmund skateboards. No news as to when they’ll release Season Two. That’s when Rip Taylor arrived. Just bring on more of the Krofft freaky fun.

    DVD SHELF

    Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension wins bonus points for mocking the 3-D craze. My five year old nephew went nuts when the hype for this TV special started. Forget Phantom Menace – this is what excites the little ones. The Disney Channel show is a huge hit. Naturally the mouse had to give P&F a 77 minute movie. Phineas, Ferb and Perry the Platypus follow Dr. Doofenshmirtz into an alternate universe. It’s the universe where the Doc is worshiped like a god and he has a cool dueling scar. The visit turns nasty since the evil Doc has plans to invade the other dimension with his robot army. Only the Platypus can save humanity. The big advantage of the DVD is 8 deleted scenes sure to excite a five year old. They also throw in the “Attack of the 50 Foot Sister” episode. Along with a digital copy of the movie, there’s an 8 song soundtrack. Kids can sing this songs all weekend long. The big bonus is a Platypult. You can build a game that lets you launch pog like discs. This is perfect for annoying the co-worker on the other side of the veal pen wall.

    The Perfect Host marks the glorious return of David Hyde Pierce. He smartly twists around his Dr. Niles Crane persona from Frasier. Pierce seems to be just the same fuddy duddy snob from Seattle. He’s in the middle of readying the house for a dinner party when a Clayne Crawford interrupts. Clayne just robbed a bank and needs a safe haven till the cops split the scene. He thinks Pierce is the perfect mark. Except what he sees isn’t what’s really happening. It’s a fine twisty film that will freak out your mom if she somehow thinks this is the Dr. Niles Crane movie. In fact, you should tell her this was a pilot film for a spin-off and watch her reaction. Fans of ’70s music will get a buzz out of seeing Helen Reddy return to the screen. She is woman, hear her roar.

    Troll Hunter is coolness from Norway. A group of kids track a man they think poaches bears. As they sneak up on the guy in the wilderness, they realize he’s not into slaughtering Gentle Ben. Nope. He’s after a much bigger critter: Trolls! It’s shot through the kid’s video camera. Think of it as Cloverfield except not nearly as annoying. The effects look convincing when the troll attacks. If you’re addicted to SyFy original movies, you really need to go hunting trolls in Norway. There is an English dub track for people who don’t understand Norwegian.

    BKO: Bangkok Knockout is a film as badass as its title. The plot is simple as a fist to the head. A group of pals reunite. They were a fight club that would test their various martial arts skills on each other and others. Someone crashes their party and along with stealing the fun, there’s a kidnapping. It’s up to them to rescue their friends and kick lots of ass. This is so much better than Nic Cage’s Bangkok Dangerous. What elevates BKO is Panna Rittikrai. He was the stunt coordinator on Ong Bak. His direction on BKO is simple – give the viewers the goods. This is the kinda film you’d want to name your band after.

    The Police Story: Season One arrives in time to stop my thinking about what’s dad going to get for Christmas. This was the best police anthology show ever on TV. Creator Joseph Wambaugh was an ex-LAPD cop. He understood the true personalities and lives of cops and wasn’t merely recycling what he’d seen in other shows. The series didn’t have any central characters like Hill Street Blues or The Wire. Each week would give us new characters with badges, although a few would recur. Major stars would show up to be the leads. The pilot TV movie “Slow Boy” could be mistaken for a theatrical release with Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears) part of an elite unit that’s pursuing Chuck Connors (The Rifleman). Get a taste of what happens with Vic and Chuck face off in a supermarket. Clean up on aisle 13.

    “Dangerous Games” gives us Fred Williamson as a pimp marked by the vice squad. Can he outsmart them and find out which of his ladies is a snitch? “The Ten Year Honeymoon” lets Claude Akins shine. For those who merely know him as a comic Sheriff Lobo, Claude had some serious cop chops. “Death on Credit” gives the triple thrill of John Saxon, Tina Louise (Gilligan’s Island‘s Ginger) and Rory Calhoun. Mr. Burns shall be pleased. “Line of Fire” blasts Jan-Michael Vincent and Alex Cord with Cameron Mitchell. Coincidentally, Vincent and Cord meet up later for Airwolf. Vic Morrow returns for “Countdown” with Tige Andrews (Mod Squad). Good to see Vic’s finest work coming back onto the screen thanks to DVDs. “Cop in the Middle” squeezes in Sid Haig. “Country Boy” teams up Kurt Russell with Gary Collins. Keep Gary away from your RV. “The Runners” has the cool mix of Frankie Avalon, Jackie Cooper, Dandy Don Meredith (Monday Night Football), Sal Mineo (Rebel Without a Cause, Jack Soo (Barney Miller) and Nehemiah Persoff (every cop show of the ’70s). Smokey Robinson acts in “Wyatt Earp Syndrome.” “The Gamble” is what turned into Police Woman with Angie Dickinson flashing the badge. Bert Convy’s her boss. The lack of a central character helps makes things on the series more realistic. Cause all this action couldn’t happen to the same police squad. The big bonus is an interview with Joseph Wambaugh about the series. Get your dad and yourself a copy of Police Story: Season One.

    Airwolf The Movie features the original pilot with more violence than was allowed on American TV. It’s 82 minutes long with a few extra violent moments that weren’t good for broadcast TV back in the early ’80s. Airwolf is a billion dollar helicopter that can do everything from the speed of sound to explosive power of a battleship. Things go wrong when it’s tested out by the CIA for a powerful congressman. Turns out the creator (Blow Up‘s David Hemming) has sold America out for an offer by Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi for the chopper. He can’t have that weapon. The CIA’s Alex Cord must get it back. His only hope is luring the original test pilot, Jan-Michael Vincent. He’s extremely reluctant to get back in the game. But after a major arm twisting, he takes on the mission with his pal, Ernest Borgnine (McHale’s Navy). There’s air battle action in the desert that make this feel like a great low budget action film and not a cheap TV pilot. The big bonus feature is the immortal Ernest Borgnine discussing his time on the show. When will the Kennedy Center honor Ernest?

    NCIS: Los Angeles: The Second Season will please the ladies with more sweaty action from LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell. The duo continue to go undercover on various military oriented missions. Linda Hunt keeps them in line. Alan Ruck moves things along on “Human Traffic.” Star Trek: The Next Generation Fans will get a peek at Jonathan Frakes on “Disorder.” He also directed the episode. How come there aren’t any other rappers or hunks of the ’90s making cameos on the show? Why isn’t LL Cool J forced to take down Busta Rhymes? The show works the military operation angle properly to keep up the tension. There’s 24 episodes this season. Claire Forlani gets a recurring role towards the end of the season.

    NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service: The Complete Eighth Season proves Mark Harmon is a very smart guy. At this point in a dramatic series, the star is aching to break free of his bread and butter character. Think of all the shows lately that swap out lead actors for various creative reasons? Harmon’s been around long enough to know not to get out of the roller coaster while the ride is still going. Cause a majority of the time it isn’t pretty for the actor or the show. This season focused on the CIA meddling in NCIS’s operations. They’re not happy at being out done by Harmon’s crew. The final episodes focuses on the Port-to-Port homicidal manic. This guy is the killer that they fear the most – cause he’s good and doesn’t like to make mistakes. He’s the kinda killer that has you turning one episode into a marathon night that ends right before you have to get up for work. You might want to wait for the weekend before hitting play on this storyline.

    Politics of Love finally sexes up the ’08 election. Mallika Sherawat is an Obama supporter who finds love in an unusual place. She runs into Brian J. White who doesn’t quite seem her type since he’s all about McCain-Palin and is a minority. How can he support the grumpy old man and youbetcha lady? How can she fall for the guy? Will their politics pull them apart or make their sexual chemistry more explosive? Ruby Dee and Loretta Devine are their to make sense of their hearts. I’m more excited about the fact that Tracey Walter (Repo Man) arrives on the scene. He knows his presidential action. He ought to be running this year. How does Malika not run off with Tracey?

  • Party Favors: Todd Phillips

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    TOKYO – Ever fight the urge to puke your guts up when staring at the magazines along the supermarket checkout?

    The sensation nearly got the best of me last week when I was stocking up on Throwback Mountain Dew. There was Todd Phillips the director of The Hangover sucking face with Paris Hilton. Why? Why would he do such a thing with such a thing?

    Why should I care?

    Back in the ’90s, I met Todd through our mutual friend John Pierson. We were the bad boys of Pierson’s Split Screen series. Both of us had upset the executives at IFCTV. He for his love of porn king Seymore Butts. My troublemaking involved scenes of highway deaths, live birth and the gassing of puppies. I enjoyed Todd since he ran the NYC Underground Film Festival and made the documentary about G.G. Allin. He was f’n hardcore in a Film Threat way. Once when he and John were in Raleigh, I bought Todd a beer at a bar. I felt good for his success that came from his chance meeting with Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters) on a snowy Manhattan street. I didn’t even complain when his shooting of the Wedding Chapel scene stopped my Deuce bus in Las Vegas. Although we thought it was a CSI shoot.

    I was a starving film student living on Top Ramen and tuna. But I didn’t mind breaking the bank to pick up the round of beers for him and John. It was a warm memory of cold goodness. Now that Paris’ friends are swearing that Todd might be her future husband, I feel cheated. I’d rather have bought a beer for Stalin, Bucky Dent or CarrotTop.

    Why would he be seen in public with her? She’s last decade’s Khloe Kardashian. Maybe some hickish goofball that made an infomercial would be impressed with her in the passenger seat. Todd’s a bigger name than her when it comes to a paying crowd. He’s worth more than her with his Hangover paydays. Her latest reality show tanked. Her time on talkshows is excruciating. There’s nothing beyond her mug shots.

    Perhaps Todd can’t get enough of her droning on about how she’s a hard worker. Or maybe her thrilling tales of days inside jail when she felt like a criminal. Or how about memories of her last boyfriend taking the rap for the accidental cocaine that was in a purse that she swore wasn’t really hers. Who wants to take a felony rap for her? She’s like a rental moped at St. Barts. No matter what you imagine, you’re kissing a lot tourist ass on her leathery cheeks.

    How could Todd have done this? I would been more understanding if he had been busted for cornholing the rotting corpse of Bea Arthur. What man couldn’t understand the urge to be an Excitable Boy?

    I wandered out back to my Beautiful Mind shed to contemplate the abyss. After hours connecting magazine articles with string and breathing in rubber cement,
    the truth hit me. Todd Phillips that drank my beer isn’t the Todd Phillips that sucked Paris Hilton’s face.

    What really happened on the legendary snowy night when Todd shouted to Ivan Reitman that he was a better filmmaker than Robert Simonds? The myth is Ivan set up a meeting with Todd and thus Road Trip was born. But that’s part of the mystery. How can Todd Phillips go from Hated and Screwed to making mediocre Hollywood comedies? It’s not even like he makes big dumb Hollywood movies to pay the bills and small subversive projects to feed his soul. He’s all about the mindless popcorn chuckles. What did Ivan Reitman do to Todd during the meeting? I think the answer is obvious: Ivan Reitman killed, dismembered and ate Todd Phillips.

    It’s a well known rumor that Ivan Reitman into eating people. How do you think he was able to capture such realistic scenes in Cannibal Girls? What do you think happened to John Candy? Afterwards Ivan realized he’d dined on the wrong guy since people would notice Todd Phillips being dead with teeth marks on his skull. So he hastily found a replacement: Philip Todd, a major Hollywood weasel who dreamed of turning Inch High Private Eye into a Bruce Willis blockbuster. This is kinda what the Beatles did after Paul McCartney was murdered by Orson Welles in a Hamburg brothel. It’s Philip Todd that’s cranking out Due Date and Starsky & Hutch. It’s Phillip Todd that’s a Red Bull and vodka lover’s Shawn Levy. Philip Todd doesn’t mind partying with Paris Hilton cause he doesn’t have any aspirations other than being a major Hollywood phony. He’d date a Teen Mom if it meant the lead at TMZ.

    I feel bad now about buying Todd Phillips the beer. I should have smashed that bottle over his skull and saved him from the fate of being replaced by Philip Todd. If only there was a Hot Tub Time Machine, I could have prevented his Paris Hilton fate.

    Did you know you can also use rubber cement as an adhesive?

    KIDS GO CABLE

    Doug Block’s The Kids Grow Up demonstrates how fast kids grow up. On the verge of his daughter leaving for college, Block pieces through video of her life to ponder their relationship over the years. The documentary has been showing on HBO lately. Here’s a little chat I had with Block at 2010’s Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, N.C.

    SCREW THE ACADEMY

    The Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences has extended membership to Russell Brand. They want him to be an Oscar voter. Why? What exactly has this Mighty Boosh wannabe done in cinema to be worthy of such an honor? Was it his playing himself in Get Him to the Greek? Or maybe it was dragging Helen Mirren through that painful remake of Arthur? Or how about his voice work on Hop?

    Let’s put this into perspective: The Academy refused to let Rodney Dangerfield join. They didn’t think Rodney’s career was up to their standards. Rodney made golf cool in Caddyshack. Is there a better film about an old guy going back to college than Back to School? What about Rodney’s turn as the molesting father in Natural Born Killers? He knew how to play creepy. He wasn’t a one note performer. And yet the Academy told him to go away.

    Now they extend a membership to Russell Brand? The only career accomplishment he’s done is get Katy Perry to marry him. But because he’s British, Russell must greater than Rodney as a movie actor.

    As long as Russell Brand votes for the Oscars, I’m not watching. If even they invited me to host, I’d wear a blindfold so I could maintain my promise not to actually watch the ceremony.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Better Off Dead in Blu-ray means Curtis Armstrong in 1080p. Sure most people will claim this is a John Cusack film, but Curtis makes the film. Cusack gets dumped by his high school girlfriend and everyone wants a shot at her. He can’t deal with the despair. He’s Mr. Glum even with his best friend being Curtis. The only thing that slaps him almost out of it is a cute French foreign exchange student. She’s stuck with a family that feeds her french fries and french dressing. There’s plenty of weird jokes including how Cusack’s younger brother uses the mail to upgrade his life. Writer-director Savage Steve Holland was denied Oscar glory in 1985 when Better Off Dead was released. Does anyone care about Out of Africa anymore? Or Color Purple? But you’ll be howling at the weirdness when you bust out the Blu-ray of Better Off Dead. Unlike the John Hughes films, this movie improves with age. Why? Cause Curtis Armstrong rules the screen. His instructions on how to ski the K-12 are legendary. “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn,” he says. The transfer looks so good that you’ll want to have $2 to pay off the paperboy. Did you know that Slash from Guns N Rose stole his hat look from Curtis?

    CORMAN CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Streetwalkin’ reminds us that Melissa Leo didn’t start out a middle aged actress. Like so many major stars, this year’s Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner for The Fighter got her start in the Roger Corman universe. She was a fresh face that found a lead role walking the streets of Manhattan. She and her brother get tossed out of their father’s house. They take the bus into the Big Apple only to find that mom doesn’t want them either. Luckily she meets a guy at the bus station and he’s got a job for her that doesn’t require too much experience. She takes well to being a hooker and putting money in her man’s pocket. She works the area around Time Square before it became a TGIFridays. One of her corner pals is Julie Newmar (Batman‘s Catwoman). She’s an older woman looking to save up enough to retire. Newmar looks good working in her lingerie. Another one of Leo’s co-stars is Khandi Alexander. They team up to torture a submissive businessman. The duo would reunite 25 years later on HBO’s Treme. Trouble happens when Leo’s pimp tangles with Antonio Fargas (Starsky and Hutch‘s Huggy Bear). Things get good and violent on the street when the pimps battle. The cool thing is that while this is a low budget Corman film, they really did shoot around Time Square. This isn’t a couple establishing shots and the rest of production made at the lumberyard in Venice, CA. Melissa Leo struts around the real streets of Manhattan in her pumps. Streetwalkin’ is a classic of the ’80s hooker flicks.

    O TIBBY

    Mystery Science Theater 3000: MST3K Vs. Gamera – XXI is the boxset that only the extremely optimistic fan thought would ever be legally released. Why wouldn’t these five episodes of massive turtle action remain off the schedule? Because both distributor Sandy Frank and Daiei Motion Picture Company were upset at MST3K poking fun at their beloved rubbersuit superstar. Frank was extremely pissed off at all the jokes about him. But with the optimism of a kid called Kenny with a baseball hat, MST3K Vs. Gamera has arrived. Gamera starts the series as a bit of a Godzilla tale of how nature hates being trashed by man. Gamera Vs. Barugon is the non-kid storyline about greed, mega Opals and monsters. Barugon shoots a rainbow of death out of his back. Gamera Vs. Gao is the first one I ever saw. A Rodan-like flying reptile attacks a town in the Japanese countryside. He fires lasers from his mouth. This is when the movies focused on the kid angle. Gamera Vs. Guiron makes the kids meet weird lady aliens that have a sword headed monster terrorizing their planet. Gamera Vs. Zigra makes the turtle battle a monster that can transform from a spaceship to a swordfish. It’s as warped as it can get. This allows Joel and the Bots to go wild mocking the weirdness. For those upset that this is another non-Mike set, let it be known that Mike Nelson gives his legendary performance of the Gamera theme song. Here’s a clip of it.

    Now you can buy all eight Showa era Gameras and the five MST3K episodes from Shout! Factory. If only Godzilla could have such completeness to its classic films. The boxset comes in a fancy tin box. If you order from Shout! Factory’s wesbite, they’ll throw in a pack of Gamera postcards and an MST3K stress ball. Shame they don’t throw in a few tissues so you can wipe up the tears at the beauty of Tom Servo singing to TIbby the turtle. There’s lots of bonus features including a history of Gamera, the Chiodo Brothers and the MST Hour wraparounds featuring Mike Nelson as Jack Perkins. MST3K Vs. Gamera deserves a place of honor in your house.

    DVD SHELF

    Conan the Adventurer: Season One animates the daddy of fantasy fiction. They toned down Conan for Saturday morning. No longer is he a great thief that slaughters folks and loves the ladies. He’s not even an orphan. He’s a nice kid trying to free his family after they’re turned to stone by Serpent people. Even his pals aren’t so cold blooded in their attack methods. One is an actual prince and the other is a circus performer. They’re all well mannered. Since it’s a cartoon, they have a talking animal character. This time we get a magical bird that lives on Conan’s shield. This kinda makes this less tough than the books and Arnold’s live action movies. All 13 episodes from season one are featured on 2 DVDs. Watch this with your favorite polyhedral dice.

    Melrose Place The Sixth Season, Volume Two brings to an end the penultimate season. Amanda (Heather Locklear) gets involved in a nasty plane crash. The tenants put together a search team to come after her. There’s a lost love return from the Iraq war to haunt a resident. Michael gets screwed on his practice thanks to a drunk woman. It doesn’t help when he goes nuts at a stripclub. Amanda and Kyle keep up their plans to get married. There’s a lot of people wanting to bust up their nuptials. They must have spread the rumor of a cash bar at the reception. The mystery daddy nearly gets exposed by one pregnant resident. How can there only be one last season to go? There’s so many questions. The 12 episodes are spread over 3 DVDs. With the upcoming demise of SoapNet, you’ll be wanting to create your own Melrose Place marathons for the weekend.

    Dennis the Menace: Season Two continues the comic page fun from 1960. Jay North brought the character to life in his striped shirt, overalls and iconic haircut. This was the salad days for the series with the show understanding itself and the kids still looking like kids. Puberty hadn’t destroyed the childish fun. “Out of Retirement” gives Mr. Wilson (Joseph Kearns) a chance to go back to his old company. What makes the choice hard is gig will be in Pittsburgh. He seems eager to flee Dennis (Jay North). Can the boy do the right thing and make the old guy stay? “Dennis and the Ham-pher” reminds parents to make sure your kids buy the right pet. He thinks he’s raising a hamster, but it’s a gopher. Big difference. “Paint-Up, Clean-Up Week” is another classic tale of Dennis doing too much to improve the neighborhood. “The Christmas Horse” proves a pony isn’t a great holiday gift. Kearns keeps up the crotchety nature to Dennis’ well meaning mayhem. There’s 38 episodes in this collection. Season 3 will be released on Oct. 25. They only made four seasons before the kids grew up.

  • Party Favors: Radley Metzger

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    WESTWOOD – The master of sensual European cinema golden years have a tint of blue. UCLA just hosted retrospective of Radley Metzger’s films. His most important films are being released on Blu-ray. He’s about to take the director’s chair as he approaches 83.

    His masterwork Camille 2000 was just released Blu-ray with an extended version from Cult Epics. The 1969 update of Dumas’ The Lady of the Camellias takes place in an esoteric Italy. The restored high definition transfer gives a detailed look at that magical time. The Party Favors had a chance to chat with Radley Metzger about the release.


    Trailer provided by Video Detective

    Radley is a true independent filmmaker. He owns the rights to his films instead of selling them off to distributor. He’s not at the mercy of an indifferent studio executive to keep his cinematic legacy available. The first question had to be how does he take care of his film elements so that he can have such a top notch high-definition transfer?

    “We do the best we can in terms of the storage facilities that we use,” Radley said. “Fortunately they’ve survived very well. The material I saw on the new Blu-rays, I was just blown away. It’s the closest thing to seeing them in the shape they were in when we originally made the films.”

    Over the years his films have been released on a variety of formats. He’s most impressed by the latest.

    “Knowing what the film looked like on the old VHS and the early DVDs, they really didn’t survive at that point very well,” Radley admitted. “We didn’t even have the complete frame on the image. The color saturation that we have now is just phenomenal. I’m so impressed by the technology.”

    The color timing was done using a 35mm print and plenty of production stills. “Having had some experience in distribution we always made sure we had a lot of stills,” Radley said. He and Ava Leighton ran Audubon Films in the early ’60s. They focused on European films. They were housed in the Audubon theater which was beneath the Audubon Ballroom where Malcolm X was assassinated. Was he there for the event? “No. No. It was long gone,” Radley said. “I don’t think the theater was functional at that time.”

    Did his background in distribution help him get an idea of what an audience desires from a film?

    “Very much so. We had all this, you could call it, testing,” Radley said. “When we acquired a film, we could see what an audience responded to. One of the things that helped me was the very first film I did (Dark Odyssey); the exercise of doing it was love based. I was possessed with wanting to make a film. It’s kinda of come into its own in recent years, we’ve got some good reviews on it. When it first came out, it did absolutely no business. That pointed me in a direction of wanting to make films that people would respond to.”

    His business model really depended on building an audience.

    “The way we worked, every film we did would finance the next film. It was important that the film was successful and attract an audience. You wanted to recoup your investment, but you wanted enough to make another movie. That way we didn’t have the burden to go out and raise money for each film.”

    While Radley is a native New Yorker, his movies were shot all over Europe. What gave him the desire to cross the Atlantic to tell his tales?

    “It was just the fact that if you had ten dollars that ten dollars would buy you a lot more in Europe than here because of the exchange rate,” Radley said. “The dollar was very important at that time. Wages were just that much less. You could avail yourself of better technicians and facilities. There was a certain exotic quality that you were dealing with something not terribly familiar to American audiences.”

    There is a more expensive look to Radley’s films compared to the low budget films that were being made in America at the same time. He doesn’t settle for the gritty, grainy images captured around New York. For a majority of Radley’s films during this period, Hans Jura was the cinematographer. But for Camille 2000, Ennio Guarnieri took control of the Panavision.

    “He was so good. It was overwhelming,” Radley gushed. “The best people are always the easiest to work with. I didn’t know this at the time, about a week ago I went to see the restored version of La Dolce Vita. He got create for helping in the restoration. Turns out he was the second assistant cameraman on the film. I didn’t know that when we were working together. He was wonderful. He was the first or second cameraman of Europe. Right after Camille he did the (Vittorio) De Sica film The Garden of the Finzi-Continis. That’s the level he worked on. He caught the enthusiasm of the project. He really tried to give his best. We had good people all around. We had Enrico Sabbatini for art direction. Everybody just picked up on the enthusiasm.

    Did Radley ever figure out how much of a movie he could have made if he stayed in America.?

    “I didn’t do it in terms of sitting with a calculator,” Radley responded. “You brought up Guarnieri in Camille. He was the second most important cameraman in Italy at that time. I don’t think I could have gone to Hollywood and gotten the second most renowned cameraman in California. I don’t think those people would have been available to me. But in Italy he was.”

    While Camille was shot around Italy, the didn’t use the legendary CineCitta Studios. “In Camille we used Dear Studios,” Radley said. He’d return to Rome to shoot part of Lickerish Quartet at CineCitta.

    Having grown up in West Germany when Radley was making his early films, I joked about the fear of seeing my family in the background of crowd scenes. Radley didn’t liked to steal shots at public events. “We were very careful to not put strangers in the movies. We weren’t overly sophisticated,” Radley said, “But we knew that you had to have permission to put someone in the movie.” Thus my mother is not lurking the edge of a frame in The Dirty Girls.

    One of the charms of shooting in Europe is a lack of using location sound. Between the city noise and international casts, the boom microphone holds up the production speed. How did he handle this issue?

    “We did mostly post synching,” he said. “Score was live sound. We did cue tracks so you had an exact record of what you were shooting. You knew exactly what the actors were saying so you could post sync it. I uncovered that soundtrack with the picture of the actors doing their lines. On the DVD of Lickerish Quartet we did a little documentary comparison of the original sound to the post sync sound.

    How many of the actors ended up doing their lines? On “Lickerish Quartet there were four people. It was fifty percent. Two of them did the track and two of them did post synching. Camille, those actors that were fluent enough did their own voices. The others we had to get other actors.”

    One of the actors that contributed a voice to his films was Peter Fernandez. The name might not sound familiar, but his voice belongs to Speed Racer. I asked if when his films came out, were people taken back hearing Speed Racer? “No. I think that came much later,” Radley said. “Peter was a dubbing actor, but I think the cartoon was after I worked with him. He wrote The Alley Cats.. We were very friendly and he helped me out.” Did they maintain a friendship since the early films. “I did, but not the last couple of years. I was very sadden by the fact that he passed away.” Fernandez died last July.

    Russ Meyer and Radley appear to have a lot in common. Both learned filmmaking from their time in the military. They were fiercely independent even though Meyer did a couple major studio films. They both had a carnal element to their cinema. Were Radley and Russ pals?

    “My relationship was as follows: I saw the Immoral Mr. Teas. As a matter of fact, if there was no Immoral Mr. Teas, there would be no Audubon films. He really changed the path of erotic films. That’s my only contact. I never saw another film of his. I never met him,” Radley said. “At UCLA, two weeks ago, someone came up to me after the show and said he worked very closely with Russ Meyer. (Russ) was a fan of the Henry Paris films. Which I was very happy to hear. But I really didn’t know his pictures. Frankly I’m always a little surprised that people compare us. From his reviews, he was a skillful filmmaker and certainly had an audience. From what I gather the stuff he did is so different from what I did. He did a kind of a rough movie with heavy busted women. We didn’t do that thing at all. Perhaps we should have, but we didn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t know him. He was only a couple older than I am, but he was World War II generation and I was kinda Korean War generation and that makes a difference I think.”

    Because of the erotic nature of Radley’s films, he often had an issue with frames being snipped out by naughty projectionists.

    “A lot of them were planned that way and some were butchered by the exhibitors,” he said. “Your prints go out into the country and you try to keep very tight control of it. There were so many theaters at the time that you couldn’t police everything. In some cases we had two versions, Score was like that. After the release of Score, we just gave up on the longer version. It was just too much trouble.

    The longer version of Score is now available on Blu-ray.

    Metzger would go through a major career change midway through his filmmaking career. He became Henry Paris, the director of The Opening of Misty Beethoven. How did he decide on his new name for X-rated films?

    “At the time, it’s hard to think of it now, we didn’t want to be known. I was associated with a certain kind of movie. They were not explicit films. Now that we were doing explicit films, I didn’t want to get confused. I took my middle name which was Henry. Paris…I did early work there. It’s a city that was very good to me. So I decided on Henrietta Paris. I figured if you were going to be anonymous, you might as well change gender in addition to changing your name. I thought I would be the first female director to make an explicit movie. I thought that was kinda very funny. During production it turned out there was a young lady making an explicit film. So this character I created was no longer valid. So I took Henrietta and shortened it to Henry.”

    He didn’t see the young lady’s film. But he did worry about getting outed in film community. This was the days before the internet so it was harder to start the buzz.

    “It sort of got around in the trades,” he said, “I had a very big discussion with Variety. They were going to tell the story that I was doing these films. I said, ‘Please, please don’t. You’re going to hurt my ability to make a living. Please respect my silence.’ They did. They were very kind. After a while it came out. I think Henry Paris in the mid-70s got better known than I was. But now the names are used interchangeably.”

    There are many big name directors that started out making adult films. Many did it so they could get access to film equipment. Why did he decide to get into explicit films so far into his career?

    “The decision to do it was one of necessity. We had a couple of Italian films which were not successful. This was about two years after Deep Throat came out. That consumed the audiences for any kind of eroticism. So we decided to go with the flow and join the movement.”

    Radley wasn’t making that great of a leap since he wasn’t known as the director of children’s films.

    “I really just did what I was doing. It’s all I knew what to do. We just extended the scenes a little more. I didn’t do anything different because I didn’t know how. I did what I did. I had already done twelve or thirteen features at that time,” Radley said. “I always thought it was unfair to compare the stuff I did with the stuff other people were doing in the field of explicit movies. They were very talented, but they didn’t have the experience I had.”

    His experience paid off with an early AVN for Best Director. “I have a little statue from them on Misty,” he said.

    One of the stars of the film was Jamie Gillis. The actor won the Best Actor AVN and remained an adult entertainment fixture until his death last year. What was Jamie like in those early years?

    “He was so right for the part. I kinda wrote it for me. He just resonated with the part and it made everything very easy. It was a very stressful production and he took every thing very seriously. I hate to think what it would be like without him. Actually I cast the film with somebody else. That didn’t work out during preproduction. SO I called Jaime. He was in California at the time. He said, ‘I have my tap shoes and I’m ready to go.’”

    There are a lot of filmmakers that are nasty about home video. How did Radley react when the VCR came on the scene?

    “That came in when we were in the middle of the Henry Paris stuff, he said. “The way they sold home video players was that you could show pornography at home. You didn’t have to go through the embarrassing of going to a theater. I remember when Misty Beethoven came out it sold for $99 a cassette. They would give them away with the home video player. That was one of the big stimuluses to purchasing them. From the beginning home video was very good to us.”

    Even though Radley can be seen as one of the fathers of Cinemax After Dark, he doesn’t think any his films aired on the pay channel back in the ’80s. “We didn’t have too much exposure in that medium,” he said. His audience comes directly from theaters and home video.

    Home video is being very good to him right now. He’s ready to come back and make another film. How did this come about?

    “The distributor of the Blu-rays (Cult Epics) asked me to do a script. I did it. He’s out now trying to do his best to put it together,” he said. The movie will be shot in HD. But the change from 35mm won’t be a shock. “Over the years I’ve done a number of documentaries on video. So it’s not unfamiliar,” he said.

    The HD will allow him to move faster. What he won’t have is the same amount of production time he had on Camille 2000. “It was 8 to 10 weeks. It was very long,” he said. “I was looking at the making of documentary, it was a study in exhaustion. Very long days.

    One thing that drove him nuts was a scene shot on clear inflatable furniture. What they didn’t count on was the heat from the actor’s bodies and light would cause them to inflate more. It gets covered on the director’s commentary.

    “That wasn’t a publicity story,” he swore. “It was really aggravating. Very demanding on everybody including the actors. We were working with Panavision’s very long lenses. The focus was so critical. Any variation in the focus was critical. Once the body heat took over, you could lose half a foot which was a lot in those days. It was one of the many challenges.” And what happened to the inflatable furniture? He didn’t take it home as a set souvenir. “I think it wasn’t something susceptible to reuse. It had done it’s job.”

    Camille 2000 became one of his biggest hits thanks to a good publicity buzz.

    “We had an enormous spread in Playboy at the time. They always reviewed them, but that was the one were they sent one of their staff photographers to Italy to cover it. He gave me a lot of wonderful ideas, actually.”

    The photographer would ask to set up his camera in certain positions. Radley realized it would be a good place for his Panavision. “Whatever ideas he had were extremely good ones.

    How did Ennio Guarnieri handle the Playboy photographer altering the shot list?

    “Cinematographers love photographers. He would explain to him that critics would very often see the film, but they were left with the stills. The stills would have as much of an impact as the film. They love him because he had a very good reputation.”

    Was there any confusion of people thinking Camille 2000 was a science fiction film?

    “I think that may have come up once or twice,” he recalled. “As soon as it came out with the Playboy spread, that confusion didn’t carry on.”

    I mentioned to Radley that his real influence was less on filmmakers and more on the audience. It was easy to see how a couple in a dark theater might want to experience his screen moments. Who wouldn’t want to attend a kinky party in Rome with a jail house motif? Does he find people telling him how he helped them be more experimental in their pleasures?

    “Yes,” Radley said. “I think that’s true. It’s also very flattering.”
    .
    CORMAN CULT CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Battle Beyond the Stars is out on Blu-ray! Forget all the hype over the Star Wars films getting a high def buff job. You want to see Greedo shoot Han Solo first in 1080p? Battle Beyond the Stars deserves all your attention. This was the largest Roger Corman production ever made. Which means it cost about as much as the “refreshment” budget on Spielberg’s Close Encounters. The peaceful people of Akir find themselves at the mercy of an evil mutant John Saxon. Inside Saxon’s spaceship is weapon that can turn planets into small suns. They have a couple days to decide if they’ll worship Saxon or get zapped. Their only hope lies in farm boy Richard Thomas (John Boy Walton) flying into the galaxy looking for mercenaries. He finds them in a Space Cowboy (A-Team‘s George Peppard, an assassin (Man From U.N.C.L.E.‘s Robert Vaughn), and a Valkyrie (Chained Heat‘s Sybil Danning). Are they real enough to take on John Saxon? He’s a superstar. But will the peaceful Akir’s resort to violence to keep themselves free? How can they deny Peppard when a plan comes together? Basically it’s a reworking of The Seven Samurai with John Sayles (Eight Men Out) making sure the script is original enough to avoid a lawsuit. The special effects will look familiar to anyone buying up all the Roger Corman’s Cult Classics since the folks at New World reused the in other sci-fi films. Some may scoff this film as inferior to George Lucas’s Star Wars, but this is where James Cameron got his start as box office king. Rather funny think of Cameron working miracles with minor budgets now that he’s the budget busting legend having spent over half a billion dollars on his last two films. No more spray painting McDonald’s packaging for him. Mr. Chow’s take out containers is all he’ll touch now. In the interest of full disclosure I took a class from sound designer David Yewdall. He would go on to create the spaceship sounds in Starship Troopers. He spoke of the desire to create a different ambient sound for each ship. Even with Corman budget, he keeps the noise unique for each location. He doesn’t merely slap together a collage of Star Trek bridge noises with a little reverb. There’s quite a few bonus features on both the Blu-ray and DVD. Producer Gale Anne Hurd does the commentary track. They catch up with Richard Thomas. The big bonus is “Space Opera on a Shoestring.” While James Cameron once more no shows on talking about his Corman days, his peers discuss him taking control of the special effects to make this look better than an Ed Wood production.

    Trailers From Hell Volume Two brings fresh episodes with a stunning bonus feature. The Trailers From Hell website features famous filmmakers giving commentaries over movie trailers. Think of it as the Cliff’s Notes of DVD commentaries. These trailers have not appeared on the website so you’re not getting old stuff. Jack Hill gets to give us the highlights of his classic film Pit Stop. Imagine a cross between stock car racing and the demolition derby. They zip around on a figure 8 track. Guillermo Del Toro breaks out Dario Argento’s Deep Red. Joe Dante has fun with Donovan’s Brain. Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman plugs away on Terror Firmer. Mick Garris brings the love with Flesh Gordon. Roger Corman talks about his acting weirdness in Ski Troop Attack. Turns out he couldn’t ski or speak German, but in order to save money, he cast himself as a Nazi skier. All these trailers lead to the cult delight of the season: a prime transfer of The Little Shop of Horrors in 16:9 anamorphic widescreen. After 25 years of public domain EP speed tapes and DVDs, Corman’s sci-fi tale of a man eating plant from outer space gets a proper release. There’s detail to the image. This is not the washed out, low resolution transfer offered at a dollar store. You can finally see the detail in Jack Nicholson’s teeth after his visit to the dentist. You can appreciate the beauty of both Audreys. The Trailers are fun, but Little Shop is the prime reason to invest in Volume Two. If you buy Volume 2 from Shout! Factory, they’ll throw in Volume 1 – although supplies are limited. Act now. Operators are standing by. I think this offer is valid in Tennessee.

    Oblivion is the Will Owen pick of month. Mainly cause it will allow Will to finally retire his original VHS copy for the beauty of DVD. Oblivion is a Sci-Fi Western from 1994 by producer Charles Band at Full Moon Productions. This is more fun than Cowboys Vs. Aliens. The script was written by comic book legend Peter David. He has a bit part as a cowhand. Zack Stone (Richard Paul Joesph) returns to the distant outpost town of Oblivion looking for the man who killed his daddy. That guy is the menacing alien Redeye (Andrew Divoff). To complicate matters, Zack is a bit of a pacifist so he’s not fixing to take revenge on Redeye even through the locals want him to be the new sheriff. Zack looks good with a badge. Can this really work out? With the casting of George Takei as Doc Valentine and Julie Newmar as Miss Kitty, the cult worlds of Star Trek and Batman are united. If that isn’t enough, there’s also Isaac Hayes (Truck Turner) as Buster. If you know Will Owen, you know what to get him for the holidays.

    Damnation Alley rules in Blu-ray. After World War III, George Peppard (Bancek), Jan-Michael Vincent (World’s Greatest Athlete) and Paul Winfield (Gordon’s War) build a mega-van (Landmaster) so they can find out who else survived the holocaust. America has been torn apart. They have to deal with a rugged terrain, giant bugs and Peppard’s mustache. Not to spoil the film, but they do discover Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen) among the living. The world’s greatest troubled teen actor can’t be taken down by nuclear warheads! He doesn’t come in until late in the film so don’t pester me with emails demanding to know where is Jackie? The film is a great piece of post-apocalyptic fun from the mid-70s when the Soviets were the threat. If only Hummers looked like the Landmaster, I’d own two of them. If you order the DVD or Blu-ray from Shout! Factory’s website, they’ll send you a limited edition lithograph of Landmaster. The high definition transfer brings the nuclear destroyed landscape to your house. This has been on my “when is it coming out list” for a decade. The wait has been worth it.

    Transformers Headmasters – The Japanese Collection is what happened when the Japanese manufacturer of the toyline created their own cartoon series to promote the Headmasters collection. It should be noted that this DVD features a Japanese audio track with English subtitles. That means you shouldn’t buy this for kids who can’t read unless you plan on reading it to them. The action takes place in the year 2011 so it’s appropriate for it to finally get released in America this year. The series stars after The Return of Optimus Prime. Characters get rebuilt including Soundblaster and Twincaster. Things get confusing when after a bomb blast several Decepticons and Autobots get their parts confused and fused. This is the first installment of a trilogy of series made for the Japanese market. It’s also the first time it’s been legally available in North America. The 35 episodes spread over 4 DVDs at a price that’s far below what the creepy guy at the comic convention was asking for VHS EP speed bootlegs.

    Rocko’s Modern Life: Season One has all the weirdness of a wallaby and his cow pal can dish up. The show became a cult sensation on Nickelodeon during the early 90s. Rocko is a timid wallaby from Australia that’s arrived in America to find himself being yanked in every direction at once. The duo and Rocko’s dopey dog get dragged through numerous weird events. “”Power Trip” has him working at a comic book shop. “Trash-O-Madness” turns garbage day into a furious ordeal. “Carnival Knowledge” sets up a amusement park right next to the waste treatment plant. This is not a kiddie show with “Leap Frogs” involving an older neighbor wife attempting to seduce Rocko with the help of Spanish Fly. This is not Rugrats. Rocko’s Modern Life did bring together the key elements of the SpongeBob SquarePants creative team including the future creator and Tom Kenny (the voice of SpongeBob). Rocko is voiced by Deputy Garcia of Reno 911. The first 13 episodes are spread over 2 DVDs. This is a show worth rediscovering.

    A MILLION MOMENTS IN 1080P

    While Father’s Day might over, you can still get quite a few odd deals from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and MGM Home Entertainment’s twelve-month campaign, Year of A Million Moments. According to their press release the promotion “continues by recognizing heroes during the month of June. Between heroes from movies like Oliver Stone’s masterpiece PLATOON, the underdog fighter in ROCKY, or the comedic spy father in TV’s AMERICAN DAD, pay tribute by logging on to www.YearOfAMillionMoments.com for the opportunity to win $1 million dollars! There are four titles under this deal that excited me to nab on Blu-ray.

    Some Like It Hot is a comedy masterpiece. Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis are struggling musicians in Chicago. The duo stumble upon the St. Valentine’s Day massacre. Their only hope to live is disguising themselves as women to play in a female band. Curtis might blow their cover since he’s got the hots for Marilyn Monroe. Don’t be fooled by the color illustration on the cover. The movie is in black and white. The 1080p transfer shimmers. They went with a 1.66:1 anamorphic image inside of merely cropping it to 1.78:1. Why slice away Monroe’s charms? There’s plenty of bonus features including Leonard Maltin’s interview with Curtis and a commentary track with both Curtis and Lemmon. This is the best Marilyn Monroe film. This was worth upgrading from my old DVD.

    Manchurian Candidate is one of the great political thrillers. A group of soldiers returns from the Korean War with a hero leader (Laurence Harvey). Except all they guys use the same words to describe him. They also keep having freaky dreams about their time fighting in Asia. Frank Sinatra wants to get to the bottom of it. What he uncovers is a communist plot that involves Angela Lansbury (Murder She Wrote) selling out America for personal gain. Khigh Dhiegh (Hawaii Five-O‘s Wo Fat) is diabolical. Numerous bonus features from the Laserdisc and DVD releases have been brought over. This includes Sinatra’s talk of the film having the first Hollywood Karate fight between him and Henry Silva. The hi-def transfer helps you spot the Queen of Hearts around the sets.

    The solo release of Alien and Aliens are perfect for those who don’t want to buy all the Alien movies in the Alien Anthology mega-Blu-ray boxset. The Blu-rays contain both the theatrical releases with the director’s cuts. While Ridley Scott didn’t dig up too much extra stuff on Alien, James Cameron’s director’s cut on Aliens really boosted the film to another level. Decades ago when word leaked out about the longer cut, people were eager to see. Bootleg VHS floated of the laserdisc. Unlike the hype that greats most director’s cuts, Aliens proved more can be a good thing instead of self-indulgent. Alien is about a space tug that gets invaded by a pesky alien. Aliens sticks a group of marines on a planet overrun by the aliens. Both films are classics of sci-fi. Neither film should be shown to small children that love Star Wars. These are the nightmare inducing kinda flicks. The only downside of getting the solo DVDs is the lack of the extensive behind the scenes documentaries. Although if you bought the Alien Quadrilogy, you already have them. Each film does have major commentary tracks. Alien includes Ridley Scott; actors Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerrit, and Veronica Cartwright; writer Dan O’Bannon; editor Terry Rawlings; and producer Ronald Shusett. They also include Scott’s track from the 1999 DVD. The group on Aliens features James Cameron, producer Gale Anne Hurd, Alien effects creator Stan Winston, effects supervisors Robert and Dennis Skotak, miniature effects supervisor Pat McClung and actors Bill Paxton, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksten, Jennette Goldstein, Carrie Benn and Cristopher Benn. You can also just listen to the score with the grotesque imagery.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Hobo with a Shotgun is the greatest thing to come out of Grindhouse. The filmmakers created a fake trailer as part of a contest sponsored by the Tarantino & Rodriguez double feature. Enough buzz was built that they made it a full movie with the brilliant Rutger Hauer (Bladerunner) as the Hobo with a Shotgun. This is the perfect vehicle for the Dutch star since he does look like a down on his luck guy and not merely a pretty boy slumming it. Rutger arrives in a town that makes Philly look like a posh town. The Hobo merely wants to buy a lawnmower and go into the landscaping business. Turns out what needs to be trimmed is the out of control crime. He’s grabs a shotgun and goes to work pruning a drug kingpin’s empire. Robb Wells of Trailer Park Boys makes a gruesome cameo. Hobo with a Shotgun goes overboard in the right way. This makes a great double feature with Rutger’s The Hitcher. There’s three packages. A solo DVD, a 2-Disc Collector’s Edition and a Blu-ray. The Blu-ray and the 2-Disc sets come with tons of bonus features and a digital version. You’ll want to watch Hobo while riding the rails with John Hodgman. Hobo With a Shotgun is perfect viewing after a day blasting skeet. Only wish I’d seen this film at the drive-in.

    13 Assassins is Takashi Miike’s massive feudal Japan tale. What happens when the locals get upset that Lord Naritsiga is a complete animal? He rapes and murders without a care in the world. He views himself as a God that’s beyond the law. But is he? He’s not beyond the reach of a samurai warrior. He gathers up a team of other fighters to plot the best way to take out Naritsiga. Their plan seems to be working until they receive a low figure of how many guards travel with him. There’s three time the numbers of men, but the odds don’t scare off the samurai. They are on a mission to stop a man from becoming a god. The film a rollercoaster rush. The action scenes are better than the superhero tripe clogging up the theaters this summer. The movie goes up their with the Lone Wolf and Cub movie series. Miike has build his reputation around here based on Audition, Visitor Q and Ichi the Killer. 13 Assassins can now be added to those highlights. The bonus features including an interview with the prolific director, deleted scenes and a digital copy of the film.

    DVD SHELF

    Mannix: The Fifth Season is another brazen and thrilling time from the case files of Joe Mannix (Mike Connors). He’s still the top private investigator in Los Angeles. His trusty secretary Peggy Fair (Gail Fisher) has his back. His cop connections include Mr. Brady (Robert Reed). “A Step in Time” curiously features Dean Stockwell of the future hit Quantum Leap. Shelley Fabares. “Wine From These Grapes “Marion Ross.

    “Days Beyond Recall” hires him to track down an allegedly dead crime writer that might be in the dumpy part of town. Along the way Mannix deals with Anitra Ford (Big Bird Cage and Price Is Right), Geoffrey Lewis (the man who isn’t Robert Pine) and Vic Morrow (Combat and Bad News Bears). “Cats Paw” forwards a cursed letter that kills. Vic Tayback (Alice) might be on the chain of death. Milton Berle is a comic being blackmailed in “Nightshade.” The main suspect is MIA in Vietnam. This is one of my favorite Berle performances that doesn’t involve him dressed like a Golden Girl. “Babe in the Woods” gives us a babyface Ed Begley Jr. This was before he was a greenie. “Moving Target ” makes Mannix figure out why a fake name on a contract has become a real person. A tempting Jessica Walter (Arrested Development) gets tangled in the legal voodoo. “Scapegoat” almost sends Mannix to London to shuttle jewels to a museum. But he gets knocked out and a double does his job. How is John Vernon (Animal House and Chained Heat) tied into this weirdness? “Death Is the Fifth Gear” gives electricity to Elsa Lanchester (The Bride of Frankenstein). She’s gone over the edge and wants to take Mannix with her. The Fifth Season is another fine collection of two fisted, whiskey drinking P.I. love. The 24 episodes are on 6 DVDs. Only three mores seasons before the entire show is released.

    Dynasty: The Fifth Season Volume One and Volume Two splits up the 29 episodes over two sets. This was the season when the prime time soap opera leaped over Dallas for the most watched show on TV. The Carringtons of Colorado had out tawdried the Ewings of Texas. Volume One has 15 episodes that cover enough twists for a season. The big swap comes when they declare daughter Fallon dead. That’s right, no more Pamela Sue Martin (Nancy Drew). Now we get Amanda (Catherine Oxenberg), the long lost daughter of Blake (John Forsythe) and Alexis (Joan Colby). She’s trouble. She ends up dating her mama’s man. Why does a guy named Dex Dexter get to enjoy a mother-daughter score? Alexis goes on trial for killing Mark Jennings. The big guest star is Rock Hudson! This was Rock’s last acting gig before word got out that he was dying of AIDS. Volume Two 14 episodes end with the Moldavian Massacre. The cliffhanger of the season has a slaughter at the church. Who survives? This nearly shocked people as much as Who Shot J.R.? Only their agents truly can decide if they live or die. The producers also bring on a new Fallon with Emma Samms in the role. It’s like Dr. Who with large amounts of cash. Only four more seasons to go and soon Ted McGinley arrives. Both volumes have 4 DVDs.

    MGM MOD DVD

    Riot On Sunset Strip should have been part of the Midnite Movies collection. It’s a great American International Pictures release that cashed in on the real Sunset Strip riots that took place a few months before in Los Angeles of 1967. Mimsy Farmer is a high school student that wants to rebel with the help of Tim Rooney (Andy Rooney’s son). They go to the freaky clubs of the Sunset Strip in order to see the groovy psychedlic sounds of The Chocolate Watchband and the Standells. It’s like watching the Nuggets boxset on stage. Farmer’s the child of divorce. She’s stuck with her hag of a mother. She hasn’t seen her dad (Aldo Ray) in years which is good since he’s now the cop in charge of keeping troubled kids from causing problems with the merchants. The girl goes wild in the swinging ’60s including hitting a drug fueled party and getting sexually extreme. Can Aldo save his missing daughter? Can the Standells understand that they’re still superstars in Boston when they play “Muddy Water” at Fenway? Why can’t the man let the kids do their thing?

    Call Me Bwana is what happens when the creative artists behind James Bond swap Sean Connery with Bob Hope. The film was produced by Harry Saltzman and Cubby Broccoli. Ted Moore handled cinematography. Peter Hunt edited. Syd Cain did the art direction. Monty Norman scored. Maurice Binder created the monkey themed opening credits. All that was missing was Sean. A moon capsule drops into the deep jungle of Africa. The only hope of retrieving it is Bob Hope, but he’s more of a blowhard than an African expert. Luckily he has Edie Adams (Ernie Kovacs Show) to save his bacon. Anita Ekberg (La Dolce Vita) wants to hit him with the frying pan. She’s a foreign agent using all her bodily tools to seduce Bob. Arnold Palmer has a cameo. This ought to be offered as a bonus feature in a James Bond boxset. A poster for Call Me Bwana has a major role in From Russia With Love.

    Johnny Cool rocks. Henry Silva is best known for being a member of Ocean’s 11 and the world’s tallest Korean houseboy in The Manchurian Candidate. Silva’s a killing machine that’s come to America to knock off a bunch of rivals. For a little luck, he’s got Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) along for the cross country ride. She has not clue that Silva’s trip involves killing Telly Savalas (Kojack), Jim Backus (Gilligan’s Island), Richard Anderson (Bionic Woman), Mort Sahl and Joey Bishop (Ocean’s 11). There’s a mini-Rat Pack nature to the film with Bishop co-starring, Peter Lawford produced and Sammy Davis Jr. with a key cameo. Where was Frank and Dino? Sammy gives a swinging opening theme song for Henry. Silva rules the screen in the cold blooded role. Director William Asher is best known for the Beach Party films and Bewitched – that starred his then wife Elizabeth Montgomery. This makes a great double feature when you’re running the original Ocean’s 11 for your cocktail party.

    Curse of the Faceless Man is the Mummy with a volcanic twist. You might remember in history about how the Roman city of Pompeii was covered in lava when Mt. Vesuvius erupted. Centuries later the town would become famous when Pink Floyd played a gig there. Before Roger Waters arrived, there were scientist digging around the once vanished town. One day they found the remains of a body and dragged it to a museum that had Richard Anderson as their leading scientist. That’s right, Oscar Goldman of The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman had a starring role in a ’50s monster movie. Turns out the body covered in lava was not quite dead. It comes alive when being driven to the museum and killed the driver. Because this undead creature is coated in harden lava, he doesn’t go too far. It does form a mental bond with Anderson’s fiance, Elaine Edwards. This is one slow moving monster since it’s like watching a cement lawn ornament attack. Strange to see Anderson as the hero. Keep expecting the real hero to show up and stop the monster. This is a worthy of being included on your Creature Double Feature night with any Mummy or Golem movie.

  • Party Favors: The Future’s So Bright

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    SUN CITY – What are you going to when it comes time to retire? Do you really have enough money saved up to last you for the rest of your life? Can you hold out till Willard Scott puts you on the Smuckers jar and wishes you a happy 100th? Will you really be enjoying the good life with round the clock sponge baths from young orderlies? Have you done the math to figure out how much it’ll cost for a day at a retirement community in 20 years? Can your 401K hold out?

    Odds are the answer is a resounding, “Maybe?”

    The golden years require platinum reserves. With talk that Medicare is about to be destroyed, your budget for health insurance is about to go completely out of control. When is the last time Blue Cross hyped individual policies for people hitting 90? Even the most frugal of senior citizens won’t be prepared for that cost.

    The Party Favors futurists have seen the two great alternatives that will allow you to go back to sleep without fearing the incoming bills when you’re too old to keep your job at the UPS night shift chucking boxes. One is a longshot salvation while the second is a sure thing.

    The longshot is easy: Win the Megabucks or Powerball. Or win the MegaballPowerbucks. The odds are completely against you pulling this off before your funeral. We’re all dreamers, but maybe it’s time you review the sure thing.

    Why not retire to prison?

    Shocking? What’s wrong with spending your golden years in the big house? You’re assured a bed, three square meals a day and complete medical by simply being an incarcerated felon. You make new friends and enjoy recreational activities in the yard. Isn’t that what a retirement community promises? Except there’s no sticker shock. You don’t have to worry about how much anything costs. You don’t have to be anxious about drowning your loved ones with a massive bill that sends them to bankruptcy court. You can enjoy living behind bars without a care.

    Senior citizens going to prison is already tending. Each day the newspaper lists another major crime committed by a formerly clean-living grandma and grandpa. Recently a 71 years old Walmart Greeter robbed his store after his shift was over. He fired off his gun into the wall. The cops caught him without an issues. When the judge asked why he had to fire off a weapon, the old guy declared he wasn’t going to settle for a suspended sentence. He wanted his mandatory time for an armed robbery. He wasn’t going to get plea bargained out of his life sentence. He wanted the dream retirement package.

    The rooms are rather on the small side and semi-private. However if you make enough of a fuss, you’ll get the solitary accommodation. Elders might fear being forced to room with the various factions as seen on Oz. But as more senior citizens are processed for hard time, they’ll become the biggest gang in cellblock. Nobody will mess with the AARP Mofos. By having fellow elderly inmates, they’ll be able to keep from being a model prisoner for the parole board to spring. These formally sweet old people can get in a little fight now to build up demerits. They will always remember to tell the parole board that they’re ready to commit some more crime. Prison has made them embrace the thug life. Once they admit to regretting trespasses against society; they’ll be paying for medical care. They’d be going from an outlaw to a victim with only one co-pay.

    Of course the big fear is being sodomized in the shower. Old people aren’t quite the fresh fish that get passed around in the joint like a pack of Lucky Strikes. The odds are the same that after taking nightly tranquilizers, they’ll be molested by the retirement home orderly. But the difference is they won’t be paying to have their private parts violated. On the plus side, it’s human contact and a great way to make new friends.

    Prison will also bring together relatives. Think how excited grandkids will get when they know they’ll be visiting the big house to see big daddy? No more fears about the darlings getting them sick thanks to the visitation glass. They’ll be proud to wear a “My Grandfather is a Trustee at Central Prison” t-shirt.

    The good thought is that they’re never too old to embrace a life of crime. Nobody passes on your resume in the midst of a felony. The next time you read about a grandmother busted for selling crack or a grandfather robbing bank, you won’t be asking why. You’ll be jealous knowing that they’ll be enjoying their golden years without burden while your stuck paying the monthly bills.

    OH ICE

    Is that really Ice Cube pushing Coors Light? Has he really gone that low to pander for the lamest of the lame? He’s one pitch away from being the face of Saltines, Depends and Summer’s Eve.

    How dare Ice Cube turn his back on St. Ides Malt liquor.

    He promised me that St. Ides makes my girl get in the mood quicker and makes my jimmy thicker. What could be a better reason to drink up? Now he’s pitching Coors Light so that I can spend most of my time at the urinal. How dare he betray the St. Ides for a corporate devil.

    Somebody needs to pour a 40 of St. Ides in memory of Ice Cube’s balls.

    CORMAN’S CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature – The Women In Cages Collection is a threesome of sweaty prison action from the Philippines.The Big Bird Cage, The Big Doll House and Women in Cages give an uncensored looks as to what goes on inside tropical hellholes where women prisoners disappear. All three films star Pam Grier in various roles. The Big Bird Cage let Pam play a revolutionary seeking to overthrow the local tyrants. She and Sid Haig (The Devil’s Own) get in trouble when an assassination goes wrong. Former Price Is Right Barker Beauty Anitra Ford is sent to prison on a bogus charge. She hopes to charm her way out. But can she escape the Big Bird Cage? It’s a giant machine made for tearing apart the sugar cane and a prisoner or two. The Big Doll House makes Grier one of the girls trapped inside the prison. They want to break out and need Sid Haig’s help. Women in Cages makes Grier a sadistic guard. She’s ready to take her pleasure in the fresh meat. The big bonus feature is “From Manila With Love.” This nearly hour long documentary deals with Corman and crews adventures in the jungle. For fans of the Women Prison genre, this collection must be on the shelf. The new transfers bring out the moisture on the actresses before the group shower scenes. The Blu-ray of this triple feature will be out on August 23. Can you sweat it out? Take note that these three prisons are not recommended for alternate retirement plans.

    DVD SHELF

    Gordon’s War / Off Limits are two tales dealing with the Vietnam War. Gordon’s War is from the ’70s Black action era. Paul Winfield (The Terminator) returns to Harlem after serving as a Green Beret in Vietnam. While he was defending his country, his sister overdosed on drugs. He wants to make a difference by putting together a crack unit to take out the pimps and pushers. Can his plan of attack work? Ossie Davis directed the action with the same eye he brought to Cotton Comes to Harlem. Off Limits is about having one of the worst crime beats for undercover cops. Willem Dafoe (Platoon) and Gregory Hines (Cotton Club) investigate the murder of a prostitute in Saigon, Vietnam at the height of the war. They quickly learn that nobody really wants this case solved. There are too many suspects in a environment where being a heartless sadist is seen as a positive trait. Director Christopher Crowe had helmed a Miami Vice episode and uses the moist Bangkok location to his advantage. There’s a glow to the blue light districts. Dafoe and Hines work well as partners. Both films have commentary tracks. Tony King and cinematographer Victor J. Kemper discuss Gordon’s War. Crowe and Dafoe remember Hines’ work on Off Limits. A fine double feature of action from both sides of the world.

    Rio Conchos / Take A Hard Ride is a double feature that takes football great Jim Brown (The Dirty Dozen) to the wild West. Rio Conchos stars Richard Boone (Paladin) going after the Apaches for killing his family. He gets into trouble when he steals a repeating rifle from the army. His only chance of avoiding prison is to lead a small group into Mexico on a mission. Brown is one of his men. This was his first movie gig that wasn’t shot by NFL films. Take A Hard Ride reunites the cast of the Black action classic Three the Hard Way for a true Spaghetti Western. Brown (Slaughter) is the badass, Fred Williamson (Hammer) is the sophisticated gambler and Jim Kelly (Black Belt Jones) is a kung fu indian. The trio are joined by bounty hunter Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly) on a gold oriented adventure. This is a cross genre film that works. The guys get to play themselves in cowboy and indian form. Watch this with a bottle of St. Ides!

    Giant Robot Action Pack: Robot Wars / Crash and Burn is a double feature of two Full Moons’ early hits. Charles Band scored a hit with Robot Jox during the Robo Tech era. Naturally he was eager to follow it up with more big robot low budget films that would score. Crash and Burn was originally released in parts of Europe as Robot Jox 2 even though it’s not a sequel. This was the first film role for Megan Ward. She was interviewed in the Party Favors for the Dark Skies boxset. She works at a TV station in a post-apocalyptic wilderness. Things get ugly when a synthetic robot goes wild in the station. Will Ward survive with the help of Paul Ganus? Robot Wars was also marketed as part of Robot Jox, but has nothing in common with the previous film. This one involves massive robots beating each other senseless. It’s got future plastic surgery disaster Lisa Rinna with natural lips. The double feature paved the way for so many of the low budget movies that now dominate SyFy at night.

    Spider-Woman: Agent of S.W.O.R.D. was one of the first motion comics animated by Marvel Knights. The frames come alive. They didn’t animate the lips this time so it’s more about bringing the pages alive. The DVD covers the short comic series created by Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev. They have taken the Spider-Woman character and made her member of S.W.O.R.D. She’s out to expose Skrull agents disguised as fellow superheroes. She has to take down one that’s posing as Spider-Man. The best way to destroy the impostor would be to cast him in the Broadway Musical. The guy would be dead before the first matinee. There’s more nonsense with S.H.I.E.L.D. They are the jerks of comic books. Nicolette Reed’s voicing of Spider-Woman makes up for the lack of lip movement. This is much better than merely reading the comics since I don’t smudge the pages.

    Transformers: Beast Wars – Season 1 truly transformed the toy-based TV series for a new generation. Instead of a traditional animated show about alien robots that transformed into cars, Beast Wars went completely CGI. The guys behind ReBoot were brought in to code up the robots. A small group of Maximals and Predacons battle it out on a strange primitive planet. Instead of being cars, they now switch between being robots and animals. There’s gorillas, dinosaurs and rats with mechanical parts. This change works well with the primitive character designs from budget minded CGI of the mid-90s. The show doesn’t feature any cute human kids which makes it an immediate favorite of mine. Instead we’re just given these two sets of mecho-critters constantly plotting against each other. The show moves at a good pace even with the blocky figures. Shout! Factory has also released Transformers: Beast Wars – The Complete Series for those who want the other 26 episodes from the original run. The bonus features include the original 3-D tests and a featurette that explains how the ReBoot guys transformed The Transformers.

    Rubber shall be this summer’s movie to watch when you’re good and messed up. Rubber is the greatest Wings Hauser film ever made. Imagine if the SyFy channel wanted to make an art film about a nasty monster. Well forget that daydream cause this weirder. An abandoned tire comes to life and rolls down to a desert motel as it stalks Roxane Mesquida. How dangerous can a tire be without a car? Extremely dangerous since this one has Scanner powers. That’s right, heads blow up on the screen. Director Quentin Dupieux combines the joy of drive-in cinema with absurdist theater to create a movie that is the Four Loko of entertainment. Wings Hauser plays a wheel chair bound spectator to the tire’s destruction. Truly his finest work in the midst of the insane action. Rubber deserved five baked potatoes if that rating system is still active.

    The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Volume Six brings another 12 episodes of the hit ABC Family series. These kids have a lot of secrets to hide from each other. Not to mention a lot of secrets they’re looking to create with each other. “Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner” has a mom dip her toe in the lesbian dating pool. A big part of this set is dedicated to a wedding that involves a pregnant bride. Will they make it to the altar before her water breaks or the groom runs off. It’s teen hormones meets pregnancy weirdness. What’s worse are when members of the wedding party want to get hitched. It’s peer pressure run amok. Iain Kanics will enjoy knowing the series still has Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles), although she’s not a teenager anymore. The final episode on the boxset contains the end of season three that just aired. There’s no break before Season 4 kicks off so watch this fast if you’re looking to catch up. As a bonus, there’s skins for your iPod in the box.

    Rawhide: The Fourth Season, Volume 1 brings Clint Eastwood back on the trail. Here’s an other 15 episodes of the series that established him as a star before he went overseas to make his legendary spaghetti Westerns. “Black Sheep” has Clint facing off against Richard Basehart (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) in a cattle vs. sheep battle. Even Billy Barty arrives in “Prairie Elephant.” He’s not the title elephant. Fans of The Rocky Horror Picture Show can shout at the screen when Charles Gray rides up in “Inside Man.” Fan of regular Rocky get Burgess Meredith in “Little Fishes.” The future Penguin brings fish across the frontier. Barbara Stanwyck plays a tough broad in “Captain’s Wife.” The show is a great Western with a lot of doggies to get along and move along that trail. There are preview and sponsor spots as the bonus features.

    MOD SQUAD

    More MGM titles are being put out on their Manufacture On Demand program. You can get these through your favorite online DVD website. Seems this is the best way to see many of the American International Pictures gems that didn’t make it to the Midnite Movies Double Features collections.

    Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw (1976) ought to be out on Blu-ray. Why? Where else are you going to see Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) naked in a lake eating magic mushrooms? Why isn’t this film in the National Registry at the Library of Congress? She’s not hiding behind a golden eagle while running around the Southwest of America. Why is she running? Cause she’s hooked up with Marjoe Gortner (Earthquake). He’s a quick draw artist at a Wild West theme park. He goes outlaw and hit the road in a stolen car. Lynda’s a sweet girl who wants to be wild. Marjoe drops by her restaurant and they hit the road to the next Bonnie and Clyde. This is just fine gun play fun worthy of any drive-in theme night. At the end of this film, I’m so jealous that Marjoe got to motorboat Wonder Woman. That’s a career achievement that’s better than receiving the Kennedy Center Honor. Not watching this film should be considered a crime in 34 states and the District of Columbia.

    Old Dracula (1975) was meant to cash in on Young Frankenstein. The two films played in tandem at quite a few theaters. David Niven plays the elderly bloodsucker. He’s opened up his castle to earn a few quick dollars off tourists. He jazzes up the joint with fake bats and works as a waiter. A group of Playboy playmates arrive for a photoshoot. At the same time Dracula needs the right kinda gal to revive his wife. Things go wrong and Dracula’s wife comes back in black. This reminds me of Vampire Happening except with a hotter Dracula. Niven has a ball playing a sophisticated vampire. While the movie is full of playmates and references to the magazine, the nudity action is PG. This is not Cinemax After Dark material. The trailer is included. Director Clive Donner would helm The Nude Bomb – the Get Smart reunion movie. It’s more fun than Hammer’s Satanic Rites of Dracula.

    The Gun Runners (1958) remakes To Have and Have Not with Bogart now being played by World War II legend Audie Murphy (To Hell and Back). Audie’s now the charter fishing boat captain that resorts to running guns into Cuba to pay off debts. The action is show around Key West to lend to the local flavor. The heavy of the film is the normally sweet Eddie Albert (Green Acres). Close your eyes and guess where you’ve heard Everett Sloane’s voice. Don Siegel also directed Dirty Harry and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This is a worthwhile remake.

    Patty Hearst (1988) explores the true story of a newspaper heiress that was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974. Months later she was spotted as part of the SLA’s holding up of a bank. She went from being a kidnap victim to a domestic terrorist. When she was captured by the police, she was put on trial and convicted of her role in the bank robbery. Her punishment was 35 years in the big house. The legal system didn’t want to believe she had been brain washed by her captors. The film explores the mind games the SLA played to transform Patty into Tania. The movie is taken from Patty’s autobiography. This is my favorite Natasha Richardson performance as Patty becomes Tania. Ving Rhames is menacing as SLA leader Cinque. Dana Delany is also wielding weapons to bring on the revolution. While director Paul Schrader is best known for his Taxi Driver script, he gets visually creative while getting the audience to understand what made Patty snap and crossover to her captor’s reality. The trailer is included.

    The Call of the Wild (1972) captures Jack London’s novel about a sweet house pet shanghaied into a sled dog crew in the unforgiving Great White North. Luckily he’s a German Shepherd and not a little lapdog. He learns to adjust to the cruel elements while he works as part of Charlton Heston’s team. Director Ken Annakin (Swiss Family Robinson) leads his stars through the frozen landscape. The movie takes a few liberties especially in casting since the book has the dog with white fur. What are the odds that a producer wanted this change to keep the dog from vanishing into the snow? The film was made all over Europe and not Alaska which explains why the movie is dubbed. It’s like a Spaghetti Western in the frozen tundra. The german shepherd outshines Heston.

    Those Lips, These Eyes (1980) is an obscure showbiz drama starring Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon) as the lead in an outdoor production stuck in Cleveland. He befriends a local kid (Tom Hulce) that’s working as crew. Frank’s waiting for Kevin McCarthy (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) to snatch him back to Broadway. A dashing young Jerry Stiller plays Tom’s father. Jerry’s not happy that his son is choosing the stage over college work. This was directed by Michael Pressman (The Great Texas Dynamite Chase). Frank’s rather inspiring as he talks acting in the character. Here’s a bit of trivia: Tom Hulce dropped out of the North Carolina School of the Arts when he was cast as the lead in Broadway’s Equus. The school wouldn’t let him take a year off and finish his degree later. Tom smartly reasoned the nobody in showbiz gives that much of crap if you have a degree when you audition for a part. The lead in a major Broadway production does get your headshot noticed. After he became Tony nominated, the school snuck him a degree since it sounded better on their promotional material to call him a graduate. Hulce now produces Broadway shows including Spring Awakening and that Green Day musical. I wonder if he’ll produce my version of Moving Midway: The Musical? Those Lips, Those Eyes is one of those sweet, lovable tales of middle American big dreams in 1951.

    High School Hellcats (1958) reminds us that problem cases in the educational system aren’t a new thing. Gangs didn’t just crop up in the ’80s with the rise of the rap wars. Turns out in the ’50s white girls were the Crips of this town. The troublemaking, all-girl gang control the high school. Things get nasty when a lead girl turns up dead at the movie theater. I’m excited about this release since it’s an American International Pictures release from back when they did plenty of juvenile delinquent flicks. This should have been part of the Midnite Movies series. The highlight is a make out party. These girls go all the way to second base!

    Blood Bath (1966) is a twisted film that deals with an artist killing his models by dumping them in boiling wax. It’s kinda a less humorous version of Buckets of Blood William Campbell is the artist. Sid Haig has a supporting role. The film started out as a Yugoslavian co-production with Roger Corman taking control to get it released in America. He ended up getting both Jack Hill and Stephanie Rothman to direct new scenes. Hill is responsible for two of the three films in the Women in Cages boxset. He also made Pam Grier’s Coffy and Foxy Brown. This is another American International Pictures release.

    Park Row (1952) is director Sam Fuller (The Big Red One) throwback to his early days in journalism. This is about a newspaper war back when a city actually had more than one newspaper. Fuller would probably be sadden by the state of today’s newsprint world. There’s lots of dirty tricks being pulled to boost circulation by the rivals. Gene Evans is the big star. Fuller invested his own money to make this film and lost it. This reminds me of an old showbiz truism: all success stories are different. All failures begin, “I believed in this film so much I put a second mortgage on my house and cashed out my 401K.” Outside of Hollywood Shuffle, self-financing a film never works. Fuller is beloved as an indie icon for the way he made movies over his lifetime.

    Harry In Your Pocket (1972) is another great James Coburn flick. Nowadays people are so worried about their computers being hacked and identity stolen. Back in the ’70s people did this the old fashioned way by swiping your wallet. Coburn is the master of pick pockets and he puts together a crew that includes Michael Sarrazin (Gumball Rally). The gang goes around the globe proving that no wallet is safe from their sticky fingers. The film was directed by Bruce Geller, the creative force behind Mission: Impossible and Mannix. This explains the amazing Lalo Schifrin score.

  • Party Favors: The Monster In The Middle Of This Column

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    DURHAM, N.C. – During lunch a filmmaker tells me that of all the festivals he’s attended with his movies, the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival is the only one he wants to attend as a spectator. He enjoys how the various screens and activities aren’t spread all over the city. There’s a relaxed atmosphere as the festival-goers aren’t hustling hard to get tickets to sold out screenings. It’s a sweet Southern festival in the middle of Tobacco Road. Even the world’s biggest superstar just hangs out with the festival goers inside of hiding behind a wall of security.

    Who is the superstar? Elmo! And we have an exclusive chat with him at the end of this column.

    The film selection was once more top notch. An ample number of documentaries received their world debut in Durham. There were a few films that had built a buzz at Sundance, but the four days of Full Frame cost less than one day in Park City. Plus there’s little chance of frostbite. Although this year there was a harsh weather reality during the weekend. On Saturday tornados swept through the region although they missed the area around the Carolina Theater. Inside it was just a whirlwind of screenings.

    The Bengali Detective appears to be the documentary bound to become a TV series. It’s about Rajesh Ji and his friends who spend their time investigating unsolved crimes when the Kolkata, India police don’t care. That sounds normal enough. But the detectives are also Bollywood actors so they solve cases and go to auditions. It’s a real life Cop Rock. Daily Show‘s Aasif Mandvi needs to turn this into his next film.

    Buck is about the real man Robert Redford played in The Horse Whisperer except it’s so much better than the fiction. Buck Brannaman allows the cameras to join him as he hosts a clinic for riders with troubled horses. We quickly learn how messed up Buck’s childhood was. He was a trick roper that went on numerous TV shows to give off that wholesome gleam. But it wasn’t so. He connects with the horses as kindred spirits. The movie has quite a few fearful moments. Ever see a horse bite a guy’s head? Buck has the ability to calm down the wildest of horses. These aren’t the cute horses in the posters around a seven year old girl’s bedroom. The film rightfully won the audience award. The real Buck is so much more compelling than Redford playing a role. Buck completely eclipses The Horse Whisperer. This film is for more than horse fanatics although it shall be the perfect Christmas gift DVD for anyone with a saddle.

    A good documentary makes us remember elements of our pop culture past such as Cure for Pain: The Mark Sandman Story. When I saw this title, I pondered if Mark and his band Morphine would make a surprise appearance. I quickly remembered that Mark had died in 1999. Had it been so long? His low voice and bass driven sound made Morphine a great band for foreplay. It was pure libido. The documentary has a low-fi look since so much of his legacy was saved on VHS tape. It’s amazing how much Mark looked like Jon Stewart. The two appeared on Jon’s pre-Daily Show talkshow. Mark did a lot to make Jon Stewart appear sexy in the ’90s. Plenty of his bass peers lend their voice to the oral history including Les Claypool of Primus and Mike Watt of Minutemen, fIREHOSE and the Stooges. Watt’s the man. Mark’s short and mysterious life gets probed. A lot of it remains a mystery. He died of a heart attack at the start of a concert in the countryside outside Rome. While it sounds tragic, in the context of the film, it’s a great way to go. He wasn’t in a nasty plane crash, found with his head blown off or forced to be a celeb-burnout with a wife obsessed with Hello Kitty on VH1. He departed in a divine bliss moment.

    Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel is the perfect introduction to America’s greatest filmmaker. He’s made hundreds of films over half a century. He’s still producing monster movies for SyFy channel including Dinoshark which is featured in the documentary. Many of the Oscar winning directors that graduated from Corman University contribute to the film except for Francis Ford Coppola. He was probably too buy doing the commentary track for the Jack: Director’s Cut Blu-ray. The film is far from a complete view of Corman. But his impact is so huge, it would need an 9 hour mini-series on TCM. The weird element is how they suggest Roger lost his steam in the mid-70s with the release of Jaws and Star Wars. This two films inspired dozens of similar themed low budget flicks from Corman including Dinoshark. If you’ve been eagerly grabbing Shout! Factory’s Roger Corman’s Cult Classics DVD series, this movie is required viewing. They even give us the night Corman received his Oscar honor. The biggest shock of the film comes from Jack Nicholson’s final testimony about Roger. I won’t spoil it.

    Dragonslayer reflects the dangers of not turning off the autofocus on the camcorder. It can hurt an audience’s eyes. Although it is nearly impossible to hurt the star of this film. Josh “Skreech” Sandoval is a skateboarder that made a name with chaotic ways in the bowl. He had sponsors that let him live the dream life. Then he messed up and lost his sponsors. He’s a walking disaster zone who attacks an empty swimming pool without any care for consequences. His comeback starts out right when he gets a cute girlfriend, but there seems to be no big plan on how to reclaim his glory. He lives in a tent behind the house of the guy making the movie. This is a wise move to make sure he’s around for shooting times. From this poverty moment, he rides in a limo to guest on a cable sports show. It’s kinda sad when he has to settle for a strange straight job. The movie is a stunning mix of irritation editing techniques yet remains compelling to watch. This is a good warning to kids who think that being a famous skateboarder means being as rich as Tony Hawk. You can be famous and living in a tent.

    Windfall turned out to be the most controversial film of the weekend. While for the past few years we’ve been inundated with the message that green energy will save the world from big oil and gas. However it turns out that wind energy has quite a few draw backs and unmentioned costs to the environment and humanity. The quaint hilly area of Meredith, New York finds itself over run by prospectors wanting to buy claims. But it’s not oil, gas or gold that flows through the dairy land. It’s the wind. Various residents find themselves signing up to allow wind turbines to be erected on their land. What’s wrong with that? Turns out that each windmill is 400 feet high with massive propellers. Just imagine finding out your neighbor wants to construct a 40 story edifice that might block the sun from your house. Expect a little tension will develop? There’s a lot of tension in Meredith as neighbors turn on each other as they fear what will become of their sleepy area when it’s covered in windmills. The movie takes us to a nearby community that went from a dozen wind turbines to nearly 200. The mountains look like they’ve been taken over by alien overlords. The noise is annoying. The propeller blades mess with the sun light coming into people’s houses. It’s not a place Al Gore would want to live. The town fights over this becoming their future. What’s creepy is how nobody from the various wind turbine concerns are willing to show up at the town meetings to calm fears. Here we were thinking they were the good guys in the world of energy, but they come off as secretive and slimy as the guys who want to frack your backyard. This is the above ground version of Gasland. Besides building the windmills, they have to string up major transmission lines to get the energy onto the national power grid. That’s even more land that has to be taken over for the green energy. It would be easy to attack Windfall as propaganda if it was made by a right wing hit squad out to puncture Al Gore’s dreams. After talking with Laura Israel over the weekend, I feel safe in knowing she’s not a tool of the right or big oil and gas. This movie ultimately reminds us that harvesting energy has a major cost. While wind power might be a solution in remote regions, it’s not that great where people live. This is not that small windmill your hippie neighbors set up next to their chicken coop. After the film I spoke with a filmmaker who made a documentary about how the coal mining industry destroys mountain tops. There are people in West Virginia that wouldn’t mind wind turbines on the peaks instead of having them blasted away. That’s a good alternative.

    Square Grouper is another installment of the Florida drug lore from director Billy Corben and his Cocaine Cowboys crew. This gives us three tales of marijuana smugglers including a religious cult, small businessmen and a fishing town. Who knew the big weed smugglers out of Jamaica were a bunch of white guys who swore the only way you could pray was getting high on weed? The most shocking part of their story is discovering they bought a mansion on Miami’s Star Island for $250,000 in 1975. A cheap house there now goes for about $10 million. You better be dealing drugs to afford that mark up. The notorious Black Tuna Gang get exposed as square businessmen that came up with an efficient way to distribute weed. The final story is about the tiny town of Everglades City that lived up to its smuggling heritage. When the DEA raided the town, nearly all the male population was arrested. What sets Square Grouper apart from the Cocaine Cowboys films is the lack of bloodshed. Seems that weed really doesn’t make you nearly as violent as the white powder trade. The DVD has just been released by Magnolia so you can have to have your own film festival at home.

    Interrupters explores how Chicago’s CeaseFire organization looks to defuse violence in the rougher sections of the city. Many of the members have come from troubled backgrounds and are still dealing with issues. It’s not a pack of naive suburbanites. It’s a rough view of how anger can build. Director Steve James returns to the area of Chicago from his Hoop Dreams days except this is a much harder game. There is a little lightness in the serious film including a birthday party at a roller skating rink that includes Ameena and her family. Her husband does quite a few amazing moves on wheels. After the screening, I asked him how long he’d been a skater. Turns out he didn’t hang out at the rink when he was a kid. He only took it up after hurting his back. He saw it as a good therapy to build up his torso strength. It worked.

    Project Nim should forget about being nominated for a documentary Oscar. It rightfully deserves to be considered for Best Picture. It’s a Dickens epic about a chimp. A Columbia University professor wants to see if a chimp taught sign language and raised with a human family could fully communicate like a person. Thus Nim the chimp is torn away from his mother and dropped on a large family outside New York City. The family doesn’t know anything about raising an ape or sign language. Why were they chosen? Turns out the professor slept with the mother when she was his student. The vanity of the professor keeps yanking Nim around. There are dark moments for the poor chimp including him ending up in what can only be called Ape Hell. There’s a creepy scientist who comes off as Slugworth, but redeems himself in the end. Watching Nim’s plight on the big screen emotionally exhausted me. James Marsh’s Man on Wire was great, but his Nim is an emotional step above. This is a great movie. Don’t waste your money on that crappy upcoming Planet of the Apes retread with James Franco. You want to know about the consequences of man attempting to turn an Ape into an “equal,” Project Nim is what to watch. Be alerted that there are scenes of Nim smoking weed. Who wouldn’t want to get high with an ape? Just don’t bogart the joint cause he’ll still rip your arms off.

    Gun Fight explores the gun issues of our day. Lately state legislatures have gone out of their way to want people carrying guns in classrooms, tanning beds and kiddie pools. Are we safer or more paranoid when strapped down with fully loaded concealed weapons? Director Barbara Kopple looks at the issue from all the various factions including a student injured at Virginia Tech that’s now a lobbyist. There are NRA members saying their peace. What’s amazing is that a decade after Bowling For Columbine Kopple isn’t rehashing Michael Moore’s movie. She’s got a bunch of new incidents with Virginia Tech taking over for the Columbine High School. The most grizzly moment is when a mother takes her son to a gun range. Seems like a sweet bonding moment. Without much explanation, the mother stands behind the kid and unloads her pistol into the back of his head. The security camera moment ends before the carnage, but it is so chilling. This is currently airing on HBO. After watching the film, I had a chance to chat with former NRA member Richard Feldman. Besides his involvement with gun ownership, he’s part of an indoor shrimp farm. Who doesn’t like shrimp besides those critically allergic to them like Maya Angelou?

    The pure highlight of the festival for me was Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey. Not merely seeing the movie, but the thrill of Kevin Clash and Elmo attending the festival. It was Sesame Street rush. The film might still be under a review embargo. Would it be wrong to say that the movie reinforces my belief that the folks that work with Muppets are the coolest people on Earth? It’s not a job, but a calling like the priesthood. They understand their role in the community as educators, entertainers and spiritual healers. During the question and answer session, a woman mentions how much her teenage brother with cerebral palsy loves Elmo. Without being asked, Clash wanted to call her brother and leave him a message from Elmo. After the screening, Elmo and Clash stood in the hallway and posed for camera phone pics with everyone who politely asked. Martin Scorsese didn’t do this. Everyone seemed to just want their pic between Elmo and Clash and not get an autograph. This probably why the duo don’t suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome. I had a chance to talk to Phillip Shane and Justin Weinstein about their numerous roles in the making of Being Elmo while Elmo posed nearby.

    And now we come to the highlight of my weekend: An exclusive interview with Elmo. We finally find out what Ernie and Bert do for a living. We also talk about Taxi Driver references on Sesame Street.

    I deeply thank Being Elmo‘s James Miller for taking over the cinematography duties. The peculiar thought is that in a year, my daughter will hate my guts for meeting Elmo without bringing her along.

    TWISTS OF FATE

    Diary was a short film by photojournalist Tim Hetherington about his time between warzones and life at home. He was the co-director of last year’s Restrepo. I wanted to talk to him. I wrote a nice note to leave in his box, but he didn’t make it to the festival. He was too busy working. War calls. A few days after the festival, the shocking news came out that Hetherington was killed when Khadaffy’s forces unleashed a mortar attack at his position. What made this incident strange for me was the other photographer that died from the attack was Chris Hondros. Chris and I worked together at NC State’s Technician newspaper. I was an editor when he started his career in newsprint. What are the odds that a person I wanted to know and another I knew would meet their end in Libya’s violent revolution. People do take risks with their lives to show us what’s really happening. They didn’t hang out at the hotel’s breakfast bar between doing live remotes back to their cable news network using third hand information passed off as reporting.

    GIVE MY REGARDS

    Most bizarre piece of news during Full Frame was finding out that the documentary that lists me as an associate producer is being transformed into a Broadway musical. Moving Midway shall be the toast of the town. Seems a hedgefund manager craves Grey Gardens green. My role will be played in the orchestra pit. I only hope more people get injured in this production than U2’s Spider-Man: Turn Off Your Brain.

    CORMAN CORNER

    After seeing Corman’s World, I was overjoyed to get two double feature DVDs with his production wizardry from Shout! Factory.

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Double Feature – The Ron Howard Action Pack gives us the two movies most responsible for Opie winning the Oscar. Eat My Dust reminded America that Ron Howard wasn’t trapped in the ’50s on Happy Days. He plays the son of a sheriff that takes a major risk to impress the hot girl from school. At the race track, he steals the stock car belonging to Dave Madden (The Partridge Family) and takes the girl for the ride of her life. It’s cross country auto mayhem. This is much more exciting than when he was driving around in American Graffiti. He also gets to team up with his brother Clint Howard for part of the ride.


    Grand Theft Auto was Ron Howard’s cinematic debut as a director. He co-wrote the script with his dad Rance Howard. Because of the success of Eat My Dust and a good script, Roger Corman offered Ron the director chair. He’s the poor kid engaged to a rich girl. Her father disapproves. He wants her to marry a dopey rich guy. She swipes the old man’s Rolls Royce and tells Ron that they’re going to Las Vegas to get hitched This leads to a cross country chase when a reward is offered during Don Steele’s radio show. Ron makes one of his finest films with thrilling stunts involving a Rolls Royce going airborne.


    The bonus features on this two disc set explore every aspect of these car chase films. Rance admits he wrote Grand Theft Auto for Burt Reynolds. There’s a featurette on the artist who painted the posters for New World that classed up the productions. The big thing is how Ron Howard appreciates that Corman was willing to take him seriously as a director. Odds are if it wasn’t for these two films, Ron wouldn’t have won an Oscar. He’d probably be selling reverse mortgages on TV if he hadn’t put the peddle to the metal.

    Fighting Mad & Moving Violation: The Action-Packed Double Feature are two films made by Roger Corman yet distributed by Fox. He wasn’t against working with a major studio. These are two high octane films about conspiracies engineered by fat cats. Fighting Mad is Jonathan Demme’s third directorial effort with Roger Corman producing. This time he has Peter Fonda in the lead as a man pushed to edge. Fonda returns home to discover the coal company is taking over the farms so they can ravage the lands and tear down the mountains. They sell the concept that after the strip mining they’ll build a city of the future. Peter knows they’d going to dump and run. The coal company hates taking no for an answer to the point that they’ll stage lethal accidents to get land. Fonda can’t use legal means to stop his land from being taken. He breaks out his bow and arrow to bring his own form of justice to the coal company. The major excitement comes when Fonda gets chased on his motorcycle by the goons. While it seems natural for the star of Easy Rider to be on a bike, he also has a child actor sitting on his handle bars. This is a stunt that could have gone seriously wrong, but didn’t. Fonda feels like his father as a man who can’t stand injustice in his world. The audio commentary includes Demme, Corman and Fonda chatting away. Demme needs to work with Fonda again.

    Moving Violation lets a drifter take the blame for the murder of a deputy. At first it seems like a cute tale of the drifter (Stephen McHattie) getting lucky with the server (The Great Scout & Cathouse Thursday‘s Kay Lenz) at a fast food joint. He tempts her to go skinny dippy in the pool of a mansion. However they picked the wrong mansion. Turns out it was owned by Will Geer, the town’s Boss Hogg character. A plucky deputy wants to boost his under the table bribe from fat cat or he’ll blab. Geer has the sheriff shoot his own deputy. The only witnesses are McHattie and Lenz. Where can they go when the law wants them framed hard? They get a little help from Eddie Albert (Green Acres). Their only real salvation appears to be in fast cars and serious stunts. McHattie might be recognizable to audiences as Old Nite Owl from The Watchman or Dr. Reston from Seinfeld. His taking the role seems to be an off shoot of him just playing James Dean in a biopic. He uses those Dean charms on Lenz until the chase scenes go into overdrive. The bonus features include a commentary track with McHattie, Roger, his wife Julie and director Charles S. Durbin.

    Fighting Mad and Moving Violation are a well balanced double feature about the filthy rich don’t mind getting dirty when things don’t go their way. Although they allow hired goons to finish the jobs. What’s the good of money if you can’t hire goons with it?

    DVD SHELF

    Melrose Place: Sixth Season, Volume 1 bids farewell to Doug Savant’s Matt. He was the gay resident in the happening apartment complex. Although sometimes it was hard to tell since the network wanted him to just be unsexual. This wasn’t Queer As Folk. He splits without saying many goodbyes since a majority of his friends had been written out of the show. Luckily Savant would say hello to America on Desperate Housewives. At this point Melrose Place seems like a game of musical chairs. Who lives where appears to be a random act of casting. Alyssa Milano is a fresh face around the pool. Lisa Rinnea still has her old lips. The big star remains Heather Locklear. She’s backstabbing anyone who isn’t about to die. One fab addition to the cast is Megan Ward’s Connie. She causes friction upon impact. She was also recently interviewed in the Party Favors for her work on Dark Skies. Not to mention that the legendary Anson Williams directs on this collection. Potsie Weber from Happy Days calls the torrid motion. The season opens with the Sydney dead from the great wedding disaster. Her husband blames others for her death. But he never fingers agents and producers. Of course the cast can now complain about the demise of Soapnet, Melrose Place fans will have to depend on their DVDs for their retro prime time soap fix. Volume 1 has the first 13 episodes. Volume 2 is slated to be released on July 19. That leaves only the final season remaining. So much tawdry action remains.

    Penn & Teller Bullshit! The Complete Eighth Season appears to be the final season of the insightful Showtime series. The magicians Penn & Teller give sardonic and insightful investigation to another 10 current events and popular beliefs. Unlike your normal news magazine show, Penn & Teller figure out how to work in some topless action. They are on Showtime. The opening show is about Cheerleders. Why exactly is this school activity not considered a sport since it’s turned into outlandish gymnastics. Safety is secondary because certain uptight academics and well paid bigwigs in the cheerleading industry want your rah-rah child to risk their lives for Bring It On fame. Parents do need to question why their kids are more likely to end up on crutches as a cheerleader instead of as a player. Martial Arts are exposed as not quite a good cure for safety. Does seem you rarely hear about a robber being asskicked by a black belt. Area 51 gets a probe. Does the place really exist or is it just a good moneymaker from people that want to dress like Star Trek characters? Vaccinations pits Penn against Jenny McCarthy. I wish the show could have gone on longer, but after 89 episodes, what topics would they have touched? Do have to thank the show for letting me know about tasty monkfish as a good faux lobster.

    The Unknown War – World War II and the Epic Battles of the Russian Front gives the view from the Western front. In the wake of the epic The World At War, the folks at the USSR wanted to tell more of their story from when they battled Hitler and the Nazis. They went into their vast film archive to give even more Burt Lancaster and Rod McKuen joined forced with Soviet historians to create a 20 part series that first tried to air in 1978. The show didn’t go over too well in America thanks to it being aired at the height of the Cold War when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan. It also didn’t help that numerous historians pointed out how facts were white washed. Luckily on this DVD set features Willard Sunderland mentioning key omissions like how the Soviet pact with the Nazis secretly divided up the Eastern European countries with a bad invader, good invader strategy. Hitler invaded half of Poland and Stalin rushed in to “rescue” the other half. Rod McKuen explains how the series was created as free programming for indie TV stations in order to sell the commercial time. While there is a bit of propaganda in the presentation, the footage of the Soviets fighting back the Nazis is captivating. This compliments The World At War boxset with more information about the siege of Leningrad, Stalingrad and Moscow.

    Lemonade Mouth: Extended Edition is the latest big musical craze from Disney TV. Five kids stuck in detention at Mesa High School unite to become international sensations. These kids are much more productive than those losers in The Breakfast Club. The kids are lucky because their detention teacher isn’t out to bust their balls. She wants them to do a little music since they’ve pretty much eliminated those programs from the school. The kids unite over their love of a Lemonade machine that’s getting removed for a sports drink that has exclusive rights to the kids. It’s almost like an Idiocracy moment. Eventually they become major superstars. It’s a classic tale of how slightly misunderstood kids can rock out and strike it rich after they overcome an evil principal played by Christopher McDonald (Happy Gilmore). Expect Lemonade Mouth to come to your local arena this summer. Along with a DVD, Disney has included a digital copy of the film so the kids can watch it on your iPhone or iPad during long trips. The DVD has extended Music Scene scene.

    Deadly Shooter puts country star Randy Travis in the Wild West. The country star has been having a career resurgence thanks to his mentoring on American Idol. He’s the inspiration for finalist Scott McCreery. Now one of Randy’s acting highlights is coming out on DVD. The real star of the film is Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja series). He plays the Clint Eastwood character that arrives in a remote town after finding prostitute being beaten by local goons. he won’t be putting up with that business. Turns out the goons are part of an outlaw gang that runs the town. When the pain comes down, Dudikoff needs the help of Randy Travis to beat back the goons. It’s a low budget homage to The Unforgiven. Travis makes the film. Fans of Cinemax After Dark will get a treat when Andrew Stevens arrives. As a strange treat, here’s the trailer from the German release of the film.

  • Party Favors: Boxing Kovacs

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    YONKERS – Ernie Kovacs is the patron saint of innovative TV comedies. His impact can be felt on everything from Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In to Monty Python’s Flying Circus to Saturday Night Live. Shout! Factory’s The Ernie Kovacs Collection gives a survey of his short yet stellar career that ended in 1962 with his death. Over the course of six DVDs, you realize this guy truly revolutionized what you could do on TV.

    The boxset doesn’t have any of the episodes from his original Three to Get Ready show that aired on Philly TV. But we get a healthy helping of his other shows that allowed him to bounce between NBC, CBS, ABC and even the legendary DuMont. Along with creating comedy shows, he hosted talkshows, gameshows and even variety shows. He even contributed to Mad Magazine. His famous mustache and cigar popped up all over the dial.

    I could type a rambling and praising review of The Ernie Kovacs Collection as the must buy for fans of classic TV and cutting edge comedy. Some of the visual gags might seem familiar, but mostly that’s because they’ve been stolen over the years by comics claiming to pay tribute. I’d toss in a memory of discovering him when PBS ran a series back in the day. But I’d rather talk to Josh Mills about this invaluable retrospective. Mills served as an executive producer. He’s also the son of Ernie’s widow Edie Adams. My first question turns into gushing praise about how amazing it is to finally see these shows on the boxset.

    “I hope that your enthusiasm is translated to many others,” Mills said. “I hear a lot of that stuff so that’s always nice to hear.”

    For those confused, Ernie Kovacs was married to the singer/ actress and Muriel cigar spokeswoman Edie Adams. Josh never met Ernie, but quickly learned about the comic. “Ernie passed away in January ’62 and I was born in ’68,” Mills explained. “My mom remarried to my father, the photographer Martin Mills. I did live in the Beaumont house where Ernie and my mom lived for years. I was aware of him from a very early age. In the ’70s there was the PBS special and an Ernie Kovacs album. Before I was ten I knew who he was and saw all the stuff.”

    He knew about his mother’s amazing archive of Ernie’s work. He’s still collecting material about his mom and Ernie for the archive.

    “The strange thing about being the son of my mom is there’s always not only visual photograph reminders, but moving images,” Mills said. “I saw clips of my mom when she was in her 20s when I was in my 40s. It’s always kinda weird to see that stuff, but it’s great too. The other day I get a Google alert that there’s a photo being sold on eBay of my mom and dad’s wedding. We ended up buying it because it was so cool. I had never seen it before. It’s just so weird that your private life is your public life sometimes.”

    After film school, Josh Mills found himself working with his mom and Joel Hodgson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on what to do with Ernie’s archive. “Before Comedy Central, it was called Comedy Channel,” Mills reminded. “They were competing with another comedy channel called Ha! Ha! was doing things like Rhoda reruns. Comedy Channel licensed the Kovacs stuff and that’s when we found out Joel Hodgson. We met at this weird Comedy Channel party in Los Angeles. My mom was like, ‘Who is this guy Joel? He’s amazing.’ Years go by and there was thing called the Ernie Kovacs award given at the Dallas Video Festival. Joel received it and we became pretty close. At some point we all got together and said, could we or should we figure out how to make this work. When I was in my mid-twenties, every Thursday night I was meeting with my mom and Joel Hodgson trying to figure out what to do with this Kovacs stuff. Trying to figure out from my mom’s being their perspective of what he was trying to accomplish, how he was trying to get it out there. What his mindset was.”

    The transfers on the boxset aren’t quite as sharp as episodes of I Love Lucy since most of Ernie’s shows were broadcast live instead of being shot on film. This was a time before high resolution videotape mastering. Many of his shows exist only on kinescopes. A simple way to describe the kinescope process is during the show, they point a 16mm camera at a TV monitor. Kovac’s archive has been properly maintained over the years.

    “At various times it’s been transferred so it’s not like everything is on kinescope and it’s going to go away,” Mills assured. “We did a little test when we first started looking into the stuff with Shout! Factory. We randomly pulled kinescopes, one inch, two inch and I think we actually pulled a Beta. We went to CBS tape vault and ran everything. The thing that looked the best was the kinescopes. It just happens to be way more expensive to transfers.”

    The fact that there was any of Kovacs’ shows to transfer is a case of love overcoming bean counters.

    “Ernie was beloved by his crew,” Mills said. “He was a taskmaster in a good sense. He would say, “I want this to happen.” They’d say, ‘You can’t do that.’ And he’d say, ‘You can do that. Try to make it happen.’ Creatively they’d be pushed. He also filmed in 24 hour cycles which would drive ABC crazy. He was going into golden and triple time. The crew was getting ridiculous money. When Ernie passed away, some of those crew guys said, ‘Edie, the network is using Ernie’s masters to tape game shows, weather reports and PSAs.’ This was ’63 – ’64. My mom said that can’t happen. She took some money that was in a life insurance policy and went to ABC, NBC and CBS with a lawyer and said, do you have any Kovacs stuff? And miraculously, they were like yes. She said, can I buy it? And they said yes. We’re going to make money on stuff that’s just sitting. That’s where this archive came from. She went around to everybody and bought this back.”

    She didn’t buy Ernie’s old shows with a vision of making a fortune off syndication.

    “My mom just realized it was special and different and it had to be around. She didn’t think, there’s going to be VCRs, DVD players, or HDTV. She had no clue about that, nobody did. If you look at what happened to the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in New York, they just dumped (the tapes and film) in the Hudson River.” Indeed there are numerous stories of short sighted TV executives who viewed old shows as worthless. Most of Paul Lynde’s greatest moments on Hollywood Squares were taped over. It’s such a beautiful story that Edie refused to let Ernie’s legacy rest in the hand of network morons.

    “Ernie was always butting heads with NBC, CBS and ABC,” Mills said. “He was always calling out (William) Paley or somebody by saying what boobs they were.”

    Ironically the launch the boxset was at the Paley Center for Media. They hosted a night of Kovacs with Joel Hodgson as part of the panel with Robert Smigel (TV Funhouse), George Schlatter (Laugh-In) and Keith Olbermann (baseball card fanatic). Our conversation came back to Hodgson and his mother.

    “The whole aesthetic of Mystery Science Theater when it first started was that it was very low budget. How do we make something creative out of something where there was no money? And that was what Ernie did. My mom recognized that in Joel really early. She said, this guy is as creative, innovative, funny and bizarre as Ernie. She was a huge fan of Joel. She loved him.”

    She enjoyed working with him on Ernie’s archives, although the shows compiled by the channel weren’t the quality that the trio desired.

    “When we did the Comedy Channel deal, they put a lot of those things together. It’s difficult to find a half an hour you can cut up and do the they way you want it. At the same time they choose things that wasn’t particularly great. My mom was always saying, there’s a ton of stuff that we have that’s ten times better than what anybody say. And that’s the morning stuff.”

    Ernie was a pioneer in sunrise TV back at a time when a majority of the day dedicated to a test pattern instead of programming.

    “Nobody thought that anyone was going to watch any morning so there consequentially wasn’t very much. In Philly they decided to do this “Three to Get Ready show. Ernie would come up with ridiculous gags like send us the count of the number of balls in the gumball machine. Send homemade items for these characters. They were getting so much mail that somebody at the station just went, there’s a lot of people watching this early.” That’s when Sigourney Weaver’s dad at NBC corporate in New York started The Today Show. “Ernie was the precursor of The Today Show,” Mills said.

    While Ernie mocked his bosses, he loved his main sponsor: Dutch Masters cigars. The company backed so much of his work including the strangest gameshow ever. Take a Good Look is pure dada. A panel tries to identify a mystery guest with a sketch that makes so little sense. This is beyond Match Game on a weirdness scale.

    “It never got amazing good ratings, but Dutch Masters people were really happy because sales went through the roof,” he said. “They were happy to keep the show on the air and sponsor it and let him do what he wanted because sales had gone crazy. You don’t have that system anymore.”

    One of the odd things about the boxset is that it contains the last five of the eight episodes Ernie made for ABC in what would be his final series. These haven’t been lost to a network garbage pile. “We still have them. Those are the three that are owned by his one remaining daughter.” Mills still has 150 half hours of Ernie in the vault so there’s plenty more to see. ” We’d love to do a Volume 2,” he said.

    Fans can get an extra helping of Ernie if they order directly from Shout! Factory. They’re including a bonus DVD. “It’s got Tonight which was an early version of The Tonight Show and two episodes of America After Dark that haven’t been seen since they were originally broadcast.”

    A few of the episodes had to have their singing acts clipped. “There were times when the music clearances were so expensive that we had to take out some of the music. Some of the stuff I would have loved to have had in. Other things are the boy singer of the time singing a popular hit of the ’50s. Really not that great. We wouldn’t have missed it. But purely for aesthetics and historical sake, I would have loved to have included it,” he said. Once more a DVD suffers because music publishers wouldn’t budge on their licensing price.

    We joked how in the ’50s Ernie was the second most famous man on TV with a cigar and mustache. Turns out the family were tight with the host of You Bet Your Life – Groucho Marx.

    “My mom and Groucho were great friends,” Mills said. “I still have an autographed picture of him that said, ‘Dear Edie, I love you.’”

    Once more Joel Hodgson’s name comes up. Mills remembers the MST3K genius pondering, “What I don’t understand is how did Ernie know that this would work. It wasn’t like vaudeville. It wasn’t like he took a theater sketch and put it on television. It wasn’t like he had tried this in movies before. It wasn’t like television had been around for 30 years and people knew it. He just had a clear idea of what he wanted to do and he knew it would work. If you think about it, no one else has done it or could do it like him. That was the genius of Ernie. He had these ideas and it worked.”

    The Ernie Kovacs Collection shows a man who understood what he wanted to do on television. He figured out how to do an entire 30 minute show without uttering a single word. He knew how to make cars fall through parking lots and phones dial themselves. Ernie Kovacs was constantly pushing humor and technology on his TV shows. He was a rare performer.

    “He was just naturally a little bit off. In the 1950s there weren’t that many people who were that weird,” Mills said.

    PERFECT CASTING

    How come Bristol Palin isn’t hosting the History Channel’s Mounted in Alaska? That seems to be the event that launched her to stardom.

    MOD LION

    As stores shrink their DVD sections, many of the distributors are turning to manufacture on demand DVD-Rs to get collectors and fanatics films they desire without worrying about warehousing. The latest dip into the MGM vault being offered through Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment MOD program has six fun titles that drip with cheesy goodness. The thing with the MODs is that they’re meant to be seen on player only DVDs so there might be issues playing them on your computer’s DVD drive. Some of the film presented in anamorphic transfers. You can order the through Amazon.

    Body Slam is a gem of ’80s weirdness. At the height of the Rock and Wrestling meager comes a film that brings it all together under the direction of Hal Needham ( Smokey and the Bandit). Dirk Benedict (The A-Team) is a record executive who owes way too many people around Hollywood. Through a twist of weirdness, he ends up managing Roddy Pipper thinking the guy is a musician. This is how Dirk gets drawn into the world of pro wrestling. He brings the rock music to the squared circle to beef up his clients’ profiles. The stars include Tanya Roberts (“Las Vegas calling!”), Captain Lou Albano, Billy Barty, John Astin (Addam’s Family) and The Samoans. It’s got Charles Nelson Reilly as a talkshow host! That’s more stars than an episode of The Love Boat. Dirk appears to be mining Vince McMahon for his character. The movie is pure ’80s cheese and ought to be played at strange hours on cable. If you’re a fan of the ’80s wrestling genre, this must be the prize of your collection. This is so much better than Hulk Hogan’s movies from the era. They still wants us to think pro wrestling is real. Ric Flair has a cameo. How come this isn’t coming out on Blu-ray?

    Queen of Blood is another classic American International Sci-Fi cheat film. Why is it a cheat? Seems that AIP bought the rights to several huge budget Sci-Fi films and stripped the effects from the storyline. They’d hire English speaking actors for low budget connecting scenes to link the expensive shots. It’s an efficient way to get quality for minimal cash. It wasn’t like people were begging to see Soviet sci-fi movies during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The cast in Queen of Blood includes stars Basil Rathbone (Sherlock Holmes), Dennis Hopper (Easy Rider) and John Saxon (Enter the Dragon). They’re sent on a mission to meet up with an alien lifeform that’s contacted Earth. Things get complicated when they discover the alien ambassador is not only a green woman, but she’s got issues. The guys on the crew can’t resist her outrageous demands. It’s like Alien with a hot green girl.

    The Black Sleep hypes the cast featuring five icons of horror in Bela Lugosi (Dracula), Lon Chaney Jr. (The Wolf Man), John Carradine (House of Dracula) Basil Rathbone (Sherlock Holmes) and Akim Tamiroff (Black Magic). But they skip the biggest star on the screen: Tor Johnson (Plan 9 From Outer Space)! Basil plays a semi-mad scientist who is putting death row inmates into comas so they can be spared the noose yet delivered to his lab. He’s using them as guinea pigs to figure out how to remove a brain tumor from his wife. He’s got a lot of near misses lurking in his dungeon lab. What’s extra interesting is that Basil’s latest claim off death row is Gordon Ramsay. Is the TV chef using his real name or is it a stage name tribute to this film? The film is perfect for late night black and white horror action from the ’50s. This was Bela’s last role if you don’t count his barely there moment in Plan 9 From Outer Space. Worth ordering if you’re a fan of the Universal Horror series.

    Edgar Allan Poe’s Buried Alive mixes the writing icon’s short stories with a girl’s correctional facility. What more can a late night viewer want in tawdry scares? How about the acting trio of Robert Vaughn, Donald Pleasence and John Carradine? And amongst the bad girls being corrected are Nia Long and Ginger Lynn Allen. What’s happening at the Ravenscroft Institute that’s causing the inmates to vanish? Hard to tell, but it involves black cats, ants and being buried alive. A great kill involves what can go wrong when a girl styles her hair using a blender. Do women really use home appliances to get a body in their locks? Must be the same people who dry their poodles in microwaves. A toilet nightmare is bound to shock anyone toilet training. This film is a major hit in Raleigh where Ravenscroft is the name of the posh kid high school. Vaughn deserves an award for his work in proving the ascot makes the man. A group showering scene with the female inmates gets goofy. Edgar would have enjoyed watching this after polishing off a few fuzzy nipples.

    The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday lets Oliver Reed star in a Western. He and Lee Marvin have to team up and go after the dirty dog Robert Culp (Greatest American Hero) to retrieve their gold. Culp does his best to avoid them so they kidnap Culp’s wife (Elizabeth Ashley). Things get confusing since she used to be with Lee Marvin. How does a woman dump Lee Marvin for Robert Culp? Guess that’s why this is a movie. Marvin and Reed get help from a local hooker (Kay Lenz) named Thursday. The brothel she works at has girls for every day of the week. This must be a good promotion for people who want a week long stay. Anytime you can mix gold and hookers in a Western, the action is bound to be entertaining.

    Daughters of Satan for some reason doesn’t advertise its biggest star on the box: Tom Selleck (Magnum P.I.). This is a witchcraft creep out made in the Philippines. Tom finds a painting of burning witches in a Manila antiques store. He swears one of the burning witches looks like his wife (Mother, Jugs and Speed‘s Barra Grant). Turns out the painting is evil and turns the wife into a witch. She also gets two friends to help in sacrificing Selleck. Tom doesn’t hate this film since when it came out on home video back in the ’80s, he promoted it on Letterman’s show. Amazing how Tom’s hair and mustache don’t suffer from the heat and humidity. This is like a long episode of Night Gallery.

    DVD SHELF

    The Lucy Show: The Official Fourth Season transforms the series. Lucy moves from New York to Los Angeles. Gone is Vivian Vance and most of their children. “Lucy at Marineland” has the little son gleeful want to get into a military boarding school. Lucy takes the kid to Marineland to suck up to the head of the school. They meet up with baseball star Jimmy Piersall whose life would be the basis for Fear Strikes Out. Without Vivian, the episodes are mostly about escapades with Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon) at his bank. There’s a big emphasis on Dean Martin and Bob Crane guest star. That’s enough for me to declare this the best season of Lucy without William Frawley. “Lucy Dates Dean Martin” sets up the redhead with Dino’s stunt double for a date. Because of a last minute scheduling glitch, the stunt double can’t go. Luckily Dino is free to take Lucy to a dance. Will she ever catch on that she’s with the real crooner? Is she that oblivious? “Lucy and Bob Crane” brings the swinging star of Hogan’s Heroes into the bank. During his setting up a new account, Crane somehow gets Lucy and Mr. Mooney onto the set of his latest World War I film. Lucy plays a stuntman who destroys the set. There’s a fun cameo from one of Bob’s pals from the stalag. “Lucy Meets Clint Walker” brings us the star of Killdozer, the movie. It might be a whole new show, but Lucy is up for the change.

    Chawz is a Korean film that scares us from high on the hog. Finally a movie that warns us what can happen if Babe goes out of control. A small country town hides the nasty truth that there’s a hogzilla loose in the woods. The beastly film goes from grotesque to black comedy as a local cop attempts to figure out the mystery. It’s rather artsy in its approach to what would be a SyFy original film if it was in English. It’s not vivid in showing the huge beast munching on people. There’s a witty magazine reveal of one victim. You’re not going to be as grossed out as you’d imagine from a Korean film about Porky Pig’s evil cousin on the loose. You might want to chomp a plate of BBQ afterwards just to remind yourself that it’s just a movie and there’s one less hog out there to eat you.

    Muay Thai Giant shows what former WWE wrestler Nathan Jones has been doing over the last few years. He’s a thespian! The seven foot giant went to Thailand to make a comical action flick that comes off as a twist between The Jerk and My Giant. Nathan is a bit clueless. He gets severally rolled by a hooker at a nightclub. Two kids save him from the horror of the streets. They make the mistake of giving the guy a rather hot piece of food and discover he’s not a gentle giant. He’s a one man wrecking crew and his destruction leads to bigger problems. He’s like Curly of the Three Stooges when he hears “Pop Goes the Weasel.” But the movie is more Little Rascals than Stooges since the kids dominate the action. Nathan works better with these kids in action scenes than he did during his time on Monday Night Raw. It’s another exciting martial arts production from the folks behind Ong Bak.

    The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Volume 1 Heroes Assemble! and Volume 2 Captain America Reborn! compiles the first 13 episodes of the new animated series on two DVD releases. This is a good primer for people curious about the upcoming Avengers all-star film along with the upcoming Thor and Captain America solo flicks. For those who don’t completely follow the comic books and don’t want to ask the geeks at the store for a backstory, these DVDs will get you in tune. Volume 1 Heroes Assemble! explains what brings Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, Ant-Man and Wasp together as a fighting unit. Turns out they all have equal disgust for Nick Fury and Hydra. They have to unit to go after five major villains that have busted out of various prisons. Volume 2 Captain America Reborn! keeps up the uneasy alliance when these solo superstars must join together. Most of them have an issue with Tony Stark’s calling the shots. Black Panther brings them over to Africa to help him regain control over his place. The show is good and aimed for the non-hardcore fanatic fanboy. Interesting that the producers decided to make World War II between the Allies and Hydra when Captain America takes down the Red Skull in a flashback scene. No need to complicate things with the Nazis. Eric Loomis’ Iron Man voice sounds like Jack Black impersonating Robert Downey Jr. Noted super geek Wally Wingert gets big and small as Hank Pym, the man whose both Giant-Man and Ant-Man. It’s good to get a little bit of a head start on what will happen when the Avengers unit in live action.

    Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure is Ashley Tisdale going solo after all her work on High School Musical. Her character from HSM goes to Manhattan to conquer the Great White Way. Is she really ready for the legit stage after dealing with dancing baseball players? The film has elements of Coyote Ugly with the hideous apartment scene and Legally Blonde. She has to fight to get the lead role from another stuck up actress. It’s a fight to see whose name shall end up in lights. Sharpay isn’t going down without a fight. There’s a lot of cute dog scenes. This is a fine little feature for kids who are still intrigued by where do you go after dominating your high school drama club.

  • Party Favors: Hufn Pufnstuf

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    LIDSVILLE –Sid Krofft talked to me over the phone. That’s almost as wild and weird as the shows he created with his brother Marty that dominated the ’70s. Their live action Saturday morning series mixed puppets and people went perfect with the sugar rush from a fresh bowl of Count Chocula. This was like a weird childhood dream as I had so many questions that had puzzled me since childhood. Krofft was eager to give answers.

    He was excited about Vivendi Entertainment’s recent release of H.R. Pufnstuf: The Complete Series Collector’s Edition. There’s also a normal H.R. Pufnstuf: The Complete Series. What’s the difference? A cool bobblehead of H.R. Pufnstuf. I’ve had little contact with the bobblehead since my two year-old has turned it into her new best friend. I told Sid Krofft how another generation has embraced the lizard hero of my youth.

    “Oh God, that is so cool,” Krofft said. “I have a two year old living here who is acting the same way. His favorite thing. He has all these boxes of toys, but the bobblehead is what he has to sleep with.”

    For those who bought the original Rhino release, you should feel tempted to buy the new DVDs. The transfers are cleaner with a higher resolution. Did he knew what the restoration involved?

    “I don’t know exactly what they did technically, but it looks great. They used our original masters,” he said. “It’s amazing that’s 40 years ago. I look at the show now because it’s on KCET every Saturday and Sunday and whoa! It looks like it was made today.”

    The show hasn’t aged like an episode of Romper Room. Jimmy’s haircut comes back into vogue every 10 years. There is an eternal look to Living Island.

    “I got to tell you how that look came about,” he insisted. “Saturday morning 40 years ago was all cartoons. When we were picked up, I said, ‘Wow, wouldn’t it be great if it had the feeling of a cartoon. Let’s not jar the kids cause that’s what they tune into on all three networks. It would almost be like a 3-D cartoon without using the glasses.’”

    The show’s unique look adds to making it unforgettable for the wee minds that absorbed it when it first aired in the fall of 1969. The show also created quite a few tunes that have stuck in the ears.

    “It’s amazing that everybody who watched it as a kid knows the words of the songs. They approach me and seem to know more than I can remember,” he said.

    H.R. Pufnstuf evolved from Sid and Marty’s work on another classic Saturday morning series.

    “We did the Banana Splits because in our puppet shows we always had little people and put strings on them. The press never knew that,” he said. “The audience never knew that. The reviews we got said, ‘The Krofft puppets are life-like.” We put strings on them and mixed them with the marionettes which were the same size in our big puppet shows. At one point in the show, the little person in the costume would rip his strings down, an elevator would take him down to the front row and he’s start to walking up the row with his strings and his control dragging behind him. It would freak out the audience.

    “Now Hanna-Barbera approached us on the Banana Splits. We had something called the Show business Factory. We were the creative heads of all the Six Flags parks. They built this huge place for us near the Burbank Airport. Hanna-Barbera approached us because they knew we built suits. When they walked out with the suits that we built for them in our factory, I looked at my brother and said, ‘Oh my god, they’re going to make a fortune. We gave it away.’

    “The network was very nervous about the Banana Splits. They didn’t think it was going to work. They would come and spy on how we were doing it all. The head of the network said, ‘You guys are out of your minds. You got to create your own show.’ And that’s how I came up with Pufnstuf.

    His main source of inspiration was The Wizard of Oz‘s colorful alternate world full of magic and strange creatures. The film had a major impact on his life.

    The Wizard of Oz was the very first movie I saw. I was 10 years old. My dad took me to see it. The first time I was ever in a theater. We slept in the street the night before in front of the theater because we were going to see the very first showing of it. It was seventy five cents to see it. It made a huge impression on me. I think Pufnstuf has that kind of a feeling. In The Wizard of Oz, it was just a few of the trees that were living. Every thing on Living Island regardless of what it was alive. Instead of a little girl, it was a little boy. It had a witch.

    “There’s a great story about Margaret Hamilton who played the witch in The Wizard of Oz,” Krofft sidetracked. “She was retired and I wanted her to be the crazy lady next door in Sigmund and the Sea Monsters. And I called her on the East Coast and she said, ‘I would come out of retirement if I can meet Witchiepoo. Witchiepoo is the greatest witch of all time.’ That was a helluva compliment from Margaret Hamilton. She came out and we had Billie Hayes, who played Witchiepoo, at the airport to meet her. They became incredible friends.”

    Hamilton wasn’t the only star of the inspirational film to work with the Kroffts.

    When I did see The Wizard of Oz, I had never seen… in those days they called them midgets,” he said. “It was pretty wild that thirty years later, that we hired more little people than were in The Wizard of Oz. Even the little people that were in The Wizard of Oz were on our show. They said that we gave little people a huge job and they hadn’t worked that much since The Wizard of Oz. That was great.”

    The show inspired quite a few famous people.

    “Judy Frog in the “You Can’t Have Your Cake” episode did what we called in that time, what was 1969, the Moonwalk. Michael Jackson was a great friend of mine,” said Krofft. “I knew him for years. He came to my house many times. I went to Neverland many, many times. He was a huge fan of everything that we did just like the Beatles. When we did Pufnstuf, the Beatles were locked in their hotel rooms cause they were so huge. Every time we finished an episode, we sent it to them so they could see it in their hotel rooms. Michael Jackson years later did the Moonwalk (on Mowtown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever). That came from Pufnstuf. It’s pretty wild and a helluva compliment.”

    Very quickly the Kroffts discovered they had plenty of viewers.

    “At the end of the show Pufnstuf would say, ‘Keep those letters and postcards coming in. See you next week.’ We wanted them to tune in next week,” he said. “Oh my god, we used to get 10,000 letters from kids wanting pictures and autographs from Jimmy or whatever. We didn’t know what to do with all this mail. We cleared out a huge room and had all these kids answering the mail. We started a fan club. Most of the mail came from college kids. That was the big thing to do is to wake up Saturday morning and watch Pufnstuf the way the would do years later with Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.

    Do college kids watch the paltry offerings on TV that get passed off as Saturday morning cartoons? Can a 20 year old stomach Dora the Explorer? If you’re think about grabbing the Pufnstuf DVDs so you can have something to watch on hazy weekend mornings.

    While the show was popular, the Kroffts only made one season of original episodes. Why didn’t it keep going like SpongeBob SquarePants? Turns out it cost more to producer an episode of H.R. Pufnstuf than the licensing fee.

    “The network gave us $54,000 an episode. We lost close to a million dollars on the whole 17 shows. They did want to pick it up, but they only wanted to give us another $10,000. We said no way. We almost went into bankruptcy because of Pufnstuf.” Turns out what t kept them out of the poor house was their work for Six Flags. It’s “what supported all of our television shows since we never got a big fee in those days. Land of the Lost went up to $70,000 an episode. People think we made more than 17 shows.”

    Of course it helps that the prime audience for Pufnstuf are small kids who have no problem watching the same episodes over and over. Even today, Krofft doesn’t mind the reruns when he tunes them on KCET on the weekends at 9:30 a.m. “I watch them myself after all these years and I still have a smile on my face,” he declared.

    While often there’s tales of thousands auditioning for roles, the Kroffts were lucky to discover the actors for Jimmy and Witchiepoo easily. Jack Wild jumped out of the screen while Billie Hayes jumped on the furniture. Krofft first explains how Wild caught his eye.

    “What happened was that Lionel Bart was a very good friend of mine. Lionel Bart wrote the music and the screenplay to the movie Oliver! that Jack Wild was in. It was Jack Wild’s first movie and he was nominated for an Academy Award for the Artful Dodger. Lionel Bart called me from London and said, ‘I’m coming in LA tomorrow. Please go with me. I’m going to see the first rough cut of Oliver!‘ That was the day we were picked up on Pufnstuf. We didn’t have any idea of how to produce a TV show. We certainly didn’t audition anyone at that point. I saw Jack Wild and I said to Lionel Bart, ‘That is the kid for Pufnstuf.’ Jack Wild was great. He was the little Mickey Rooney of his time.

    “Billie Hayes was the second one who came in for Witchiepoo. Penny Marshall was the first one. I looked at my brother and said, ‘I don’t know if we want a Brooklyn witch.’ She had that heavy Brooklyn accent. That didn’t work out. Billie Hayes was Mammy Yokum in Li’l Abner, the movie and the Broadway show. She had just moved out here. She came in to audition and jumped on our desk. There was no doubt.”

    Hayes is so attached to the character of Witchiepoo that no other woman can do the role justice. Which is just fine for Krofft as they construct the upcoming Pufnstuf movie.

    The Pufnstuf movie is being developed over at Sony. We’re getting very close. Who is going to play Witchiepoo?” he asks. “Our wish is Johnny Depp. He’s waiting for the script right now, which is almost finished. Isn’t that going to be wild? He’s a huge fan of Pufnstuf. Hopefully we’ll get him to do it. He’ll chew up the screen with that character.”

    This would be the second cinematic adaptation of the series for the big screen. The original Pufnstuf movie came out with the TV show’s cast. Was it always their intention to make a movie with the series?

    “The original movie came right on the heels as soon as we finished the TV series. It was Marty’s idea to do a movie. He approached Universal. They said, ‘What’s it going to cost?’ My brother said, ‘I don’t know, probably a million dollars.’ They said, ‘A million dollars for a kid movie? No way.’ My brother went to Kellogg’s. They were the sponsor of the TV show and they put up half of it or a little more than half. Universal put up the other half. That’s all it cost. Now they make movies for a $100 million or $200 million. We made it for $900,000 actually. Now it’s time for a new movie,” he declared.

    One of the odd things about the character of Pufnstuf is that he wear white cowboy boots. My pal Zan wanted to know why the big lizard wore boots. Thus I asked.

    “We had a show called Les Poupees de Paris. It played to 9 1/2 million people at the New York. San Antonio and Seattle World’s Fairs,” he said. “For Coco-Cola’s Pavilion we did a show called Kaleidoscope. There was a character in it called Luther. That was Pufnstuf. It was a superhero that was changed into a dragon. The only way he could be changed back was to be kissed by someone. But who wants to kiss a dragon? He became the symbol of the San Antonio World’s Fair. He was huge. When we got Pufnstuf, we took that character. “Puff the Magic Dragon” was the big song that year. That’s where the title of Pufnstuf came from. It didn’t come from drugs like we were accused of. He wore cowboy boots because it was Texas. We loved that character and gave him that accent. That’s how that character was born.”

    Many kids as they grow up look at so many of the Krofft’s TV shows and ponder if everyone on the set was high on something. Krofft swears his sets did not resemble Chevy Chase’s dressing room.

    “We’re always accused of that. I’m 81 years old. If I was on drugs, I wouldn’t be talking to you. I’d be gone by now. It was the psychedelic era. I was moving with the times. When you look at it today, you go oh my god, that looks like an acid trip. I’m a big health fiend. I grown all my own food in my garden. I’m an original hippie cause I always wanted to feel good everyday.”

    Krofft believes all their shows will be coming out on DVD with the new deal. This will come as a relief to Chuck McCann who wants to see his Far Out Space Nuts with Bob Denver (Gilliagan’s Island). Although he’ll have to wait. “The next one coming out is Sigmund and the Sea Monsters,” Krofft said. Unlike the Rhino boxset, this new copy should contain both the first and second season of the show. “I think it’s the full. It’s being designed right now,” he said.

    When the Kroffts went continued making Saturday morning shows, they had to figure out ways to trim the budget to decrease the initial production lost. The major change was shooting video instead of 35mm film that was used on Pufnstuf. This is why this show looks much better than Lidsville and Land of the Lost. By going on video they didn’t have to pay for expensive and time consuming optical effects. Krofft feels bad that they had to make the switch. “That was financial. I loved doing it on film,” he said..

    Pufnstuf was shot at the Paramount studios with their neighbor soundstage being used by Lucille Ball. Mike Nichols was on the other side making Catch-22. “Mike Nichols would order our call sheets everyday and frame them in his office. They said, Stupid Bat 8 o’clock. He just freaked out. Lucy used to come over on every one of her breaks. No one ever saw anything like that with all these little people running around. At all the public toilets in the lot, we had to put elevators in the stalls. Once they got into the costumes, they couldn’t get out. It was insane. It was really crazy.”

    The character of Pufnstuf was voiced by Lennie Weinrib, but the man inside the suit was Roberto Gamonet. Did Lennie ever dress up as Pufnstuf to do the character along with the voice? “No,” said Krofft. “I discover Lennie in the Billy Barnes shows. There were a lot of stars that came out of that. It was like Saturday Night Live. I loved Lennie. He could do all the voices.” The mix of two humans and the numerous puppets made recording the sound for the show rather interesting. The Kroffts had the dialogue recorded at once. Jack and Billie were recorded on the set. Off camera, Lennie, Joan Gerber and Walker Edminston sat at a table and recorded the characters’ lines.
    As the ’70s wore on, live action shows on Saturday mornings grew in number. Filmation went from animation to create Shazam, Isis and The Ghost Busters. Krofft didn’t have an opinion of Filmation’s effort.

    “I didn’t pay that much attention to other shows because I didn’t want to be influenced with what they were doing,” he said. “I didn’t watch the Hanna-Barbera shows. I had to come up with a new every single year. That was enough to worry about. Not only were we doing television too for a while. We had the theme park, Donny and Marie Osmond and the Brady Bunch. We had so many things going at our Showbiz Factory. We built a big portion of the Electric Parade for Disney.”

    Turns out Sid and Marty had an encounter with the father of Mickey Mouse that excited Michael Jackson.

    “When I told him I met Walt Disney; that was the biggest freak out he ever had. He had never met him. Everything in his home was Walt Disney characters. He loved Walt Disney.” And now the rest of the story:

    “When we did Les Poupees de Paris at the Seattle’s World Fair it had just opened; we flew back here for some reason and had lunch with Cyd Charisse and Tony Martin at the Polo Lounge. Sitting at the next table was Walt Disney. We never met him before. He came over to say hello to Cyd and Tony. They introduced Marty and myself to Walt Disney. I was just shaking. Walt Disney said, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you guys. Can I give you some advice? Always put your name above everything that you create because someday it’ll be worth something.’ The show in Seattle was just the title of a show. Immediately we put Sid and Marty Krofft’s Les Poupees de Paris. That’s why you see our name on everything. You can blame Walt Disney.”

    Unlike other creative groups that have sold their companies such as Filmation and Hanna-Barbera, the Kroffts are still in control of their creative empire.

    “We held onto everything,” he said. “We own everything – all of our characters and all of our shows. That was one great thing my brother did. We didn’t sell out. Michael Jackson at one point wanted to buy our company. He gave us a down payment and it didn’t work out. He was having his own problems.”

    Ownership of the characters has allowed them to make them show up in unique places. Pufnstuf was busted on CHiPs. My Name Is Earl had Pufnstuf pop up on the motel TV. Randy eventually had a fantasy sequence with Pufnstuf. “Evidently they got their highest rating on that episode,” Krofft said. “We’ve had Pufnstuf on quite a few shows. He was on George Lopez. It lives on forever.”

    Along with the new Pufnstuf movie, Dreamworks is creating an animated version of Lidsville. The brothers are being more creatively involved in their films after their sour experience on Land of the Lost. At first they enjoyed the big budget production with lavish sets. They enjoyed their early visits to the studio, but the feeling waned.

    “We walked away because we said, “Maybe we don’t know anything?” I had a meeting set up with the director (Brad Silberling) three months before we were ready to shoot. My brother canceled it. My brother said, “He’s the captain of the ship and you’re going to upset the ship. I know you. I know that you’re complaining about all the things about it. Where’s the heart? Where’s my family? Who is this movie for with all the foul language?’ Then you go, shit, I don’t know anything. Universal, why would they be spending hundreds of millions? We got Will Ferrell and his movies make a $100 million. Everything is going to be fine. We walked away from it. It looked great. Unbelievable when you walked on the sets. Maybe I don’t know anything. It’s going to be fine. That’s not going to happen anymore. When I look at my notes, it makes me sick to my stomach.”

    The movie became a box office summer dud and a won the Razzie for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel. But it’s had a second life. “On HBO when they showed it over and over again, it got huge ratings. Everybody who didn’t see it saw it, Krofft said.

    There was one positive experience from the production for Sid Krofft. He got to meet my NCSA classmate Danny McBride.

    “I love Danny,” he said. “He’s incredible. What a nice guy. He’s terrific. Never a problem. The nicest guy. Everybody loves him. I think he tried to help. He rewrote and ad-libbed.”

    He didn’t have the same fond memories for when they created a show around The Bay City Rollers. “Not easy,” he declared. “They really weren’t. I don’t remember their problems that they had, but we had problems with them.”

    He knows something about musicians since he’d worked with one of the biggest rock stars on an unexpected show.

    We auditioned the Bugaloos in London. Four thousand kids came. Lionel Bart helped pick those kids. And Lionel on the last day brought in Mick Jagger. And Mick Jagger helped picked those kids. Phil Collins auditioned and was turned down.

    That’s right, Mick Jagger at the height of the Rolling Stones’ most powerful era (when Mick Taylor brought the voodoo to their sound) was choosing which kids looked best wearing bug wings. He was the original Simon. And he decided that Phil Collins was not a Bugaloo. This was a blessing in disguise. Mick would have destroyed Phil Collins’ career by picking him. You think he could have gotten the Genesis gig after being a Saturday morning superstar? The world would have been spared “Sussudio.” Damn you, Mick Jagger for not stopping Phil Collins stealing South Park‘s Oscar!

    The conversation comes back to H.R. Pufnstuf when I ask if they had a test to see if a character was too bizarre for the kids.

    “We never tested them,” he said. “The network were scared to death. Nothing like this had ever been done. When we turned in the first rough cut, it didn’t have sound effects. They gave us…I don’t know how many pages of notes. They hated it. They hated the title. That’s what they did research on. It came out like a powderpuff. It was a girls title. They asked for all these things to be redone. We didn’t have any money to reshoot or do anything like that. What we did was we completed the show, put the sound effects in and put the music in and sent it back. And they said, oh thank you. It’s wonderful. And that was the end of it.”

    As our conversation wrapped up, I thanked him for making my generation so weird.

    “So it’s my fault? You’re putting all the pressure on me now,” he said. “When I’m out of town and I hand somebody my credit card, they freak me out. They can’t believe they’re talking to the guy that got them in trouble when they were a kid. I get blamed on a daily basis. It’s OK.”

    Hear Joe & Sid Krofft

    [audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/partyfavors/sidkrofft.mp3]

    RETRACTED

    We had to take back Charlie Sheen’s Spirit of Bob Crane Award since it’s obvious he isn’t living up to the Hogan’s Heroes star’s standards. During Charlie’s disastrous live tour he told an audience member, “I already got your money, dude!” Bob would have never done that while performing Beginner’s Luck at dinner theaters across America.

    I don’t get is why people who paid $100 feel ripped off by Charlie’s live show. What did they expect? He’s not a singer. He’s not dancer. He’s not a stand up comic. He’s not a drummer. He can’t juggle chainsaws. He’s not much of an entertainer as long as he has to keep his pants zipped. You showed up to see a trainwreck and got dog chasing his tail. What’s more pathetic than Sheen’s incoherent ramblings is your expectation that this was going to be so cool. He’s got your money and all you have is the memory of being ripped off. At least you helped make a rich guy richer.

    Bob Crane would have never approved.

    DVD SHELF

    Captain Planet and the Planeteers: Season One is the greatest cartoon ever created by a billionaire. Ted Turner decided that animation should do more than inspire kids to defy gravity and think man and dinosaurs lived together. He wanted an environmental consciousness raised with paint in motion. Thus he put together a series that pre-dated Al Gore. The spirit of the Earth (Whoopi Goldberg) gives powerful rings to five kids from around the world. Each has a secret force involving fire, water, air, earth and heart. When they use the rings together they summon Captain Planet. He’s the big heavy. The kids travel around the globe using solar power vehicles. They fight various polluting villains with colorful names like Hoggish Greedly, Looten Plunder, Sly Sludge, Duke Nukem, Venimous Skumm and Zarm. They have schemes to make the average people not consider the consequences to wasteful actions. This isn’t a Power Point presentation. There’s plenty of action on the screen since going green doesn’t mean going boring. Turner nabbed real star power to voice the bad guys including Ed Asner, Dean Stockwell, Jeff Goldblum, Meg Ryan, James Coburn, John Ratzenberger and Sting. Who knew Sting could be so evil? There’s 26 episodes in the boxset. The big bonus feature is “Your Powers Combined: The Story of Captain Planet” with Ted Turner explaining how this cartoon series came together. Instead of a plastic case, Captain Planet and the Planeteers is packaged with recycled cardboard. You should watch this on a solar power DVD player.

  • Party Favors: It’s A Frame-Up

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    DURHAM, NC – The hard truth of cinema takes place at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, NC from April 14-17. That’s four solid days of movies that don’t feature Natalie Portman’s face being digitally inserted on other bodies. Four days of real people doing real stuff. And you can get some great BBQ.

    This years line up has enough goodness to make me have to make painful choices as what to watch. There’s only one screening unless a movie wins a major prize. It’s be there or miss out. Choice wisely. Here’s a few of the films I’m looking to catch:

    The Hangman (Thursday 10:20 a.m.) appears to be a creepy classic as it probes the man who executed Nazi Adolph Eichmann. What’s he do now? He ritually slaughters animals. Windfall (Thurs 4:20 p.m.) takes us to Meredith, New York. The area has embraced the concept of a windfarm with 400 feet high windmills. They learn quickly that this green energy does have an impact on their environment.

    After last year’s Divine Pig, I’m looking forward to Pig Country (Friday 10:30 a.m.). This is about a third generation swine farmer about to lose the family business in Sweden. I’m rooting for the farmer. No country should be denied bacon. Buck (1:10 p.m. Friday) is about the real Horse Whisperer. If he shows up, I’m going to ask if he gets royalties from anyone that passes themselves off as a “(blank) whisperer.” Oscar winner Barbara Kopple’s Gun Fight (7:10 pm. Friday) pokes around the firearms world. Is America really ready for arming everybody in schools, planes and bars? Dragonslayer (Friday 10:20 p.m.) follows Josh “Skreech” Sandoval’s life as a not quite pro skateboarder. The film won a major award at SXSW.

    Bobby Fischer Against the World (11 a.m. Saturday) dips into the madness of the greatest American chess player. How did this guy go so nuts? What did he think of Searching for Bobby Fischer. Diary (Friday 1:30 p.m.) is a short put together by Restrepo’s co-director about his life in warzones and back home in England.

    The big “watch” film for me is Being Elmo (Saturday at 4:10 p.m.). The documentary lets us get to know Kevin Clash, the man who’s hands control the little red wonder. He’s the last major Muppet superstar before the death of Jim Henson.

    Because of the scheduling, I’ll be missing Take Me Away Fast. This is about a record fanatic who travels to West Africa looking for funky vinyl. I feel like a slug opening a second window to order from deepdiscount.

    Page One(Saturday 2:00) goes inside the offices of the New York Times. Catch this one quick before they stop making newspapers. Who Took the Bomp? (8:30 p.m. Saturday) features the band Le Tigre on tour. You can already see the kids with Elvis Costello glasses lining up for this one. This is an outdoor screening. Although the short documentary The Universal Language (Saturday 10:20 a.m.) is more hipster cool since it’s about Esperanto! This is the ultimate language. Fans of Pawn Stars and Obscurities should enjoy Unlikely Treasures (Saturday 10:20 a.m.). This introduces us to people with strange collections of items. The good news is this isn’t about hoarders so you won’t want to throw out stuff form your house afterward.

    Tabloid (11 a.m. Sunday) is Errol Morris’ investigation of Joyce McKinney. She’s a beauty queen that gets tied into a bizarre kidnapping and rape case. She’s the one accused of kidnapping and raping a man. Morris holds the honor of once working with me on an American Express ad. I told him the equipment was ready. Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel (Sunday 2:20 p.m.) is just what I need since I’ve been overdosing on Shout! Factory’s Roger Corman’s Cult Classics DVDs. I’m so ready to wrap up the festival with the king of the low budget films that cost as much as a documentary.

    If you’re in the area, come on over. The various screens are close together so you won’t be wasting time on a bus between theaters. If you get a room at the Durham Marriott City Center, you barely have to walk. You can get individual tickets at www.fullframe.org.

    I’ve been promised this will be a Charlie Sheen-free event. No Tiger Blood in the theaters.

    BLUNDER NETWORK

    Why are they reviving Wonder Woman for TV? The original only lasted two and a half seasons. It wasn’t that big of a hit. Remember when they revived The Bionic Woman? The original lasted two and a half seasons before they cut off the power. The remake stuck around for an epic 8 episodes.

    Judging from the incredibly unsexy outfit they slapped on the new Wonder Woman, they might not make it to 3 episodes this time. Even the second version of the new outfit is about dull as a marathon of Lint vs. Dust Bunnies on SyFy. Lynda Carter’s poster won’t be getting yanked down in the rumpus room.

    EXPERIENCE YOU CAN’T REFUSE

    The Las Vegas Mob Experience is finally open at the Tropicana. After years of hearing about the time when the mob ran the town, you can check out the way organized crime made sure you felt good about losing in the casino. This is more family friendly than the previous exhibit featuring corpses of dead Chinese citizens cut apart for your entertainment. Mobsters might have killed people, but they didn’t pass their victims off as educational entertainment. Here’s a little footage about the place.

    TIE-IN HEAVEN

    Why doesn’t Hooter’s sponsor a cable channel’s Night Owl programming?

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Teen Wolf elevated Michael J. Fox from TV sensation on Family Ties to movie star. The film had been made before Back to the Future, but the producers wisely decided to draft on the blockbuster’s promotion of Fox. This could have backfired if you consider how those Twilight actors haven’t had any hits after their latest installments make big bucks. But Fox had the mojo from going back in time. This could have been a forgettable reworking of I Was a Teenage Werewolf. But the charm of Fox with his teen issues elevates the material like his staged basketball dunks. Instead of hiding his problem, he uses his wolf element to become a cool kid at school. When I was in high school we had a kid who was extra hairy. The guy had better facial hair than the nuns. He was popular since he never got carded when buying beer. Teen Wolf remains cool because of the Fox. The 1080p transfer brings out the fur on his face. The bonus feature is a sneak peak at MTV’s upcoming Teen Wolf series. The big update is the Teen Wolf now plays lacrosse instead of basketball. It’s kinda like Gossip Girl with body hair issues.

    The Greatest Story Ever Told is an Easter treat. George Stevens (director of Giant) tackles the life of Jesus. This was part of that era with big budget Bible films proving Hollywood wasn’t a land of God-less heathens. The life of Jesus is told using the biggest of screen talent and Pope John XXIII as a technical advisor. Who could play the star? Why it’s Sweden’s Max Von Sydow (Flash Gordon). At the time he was hot from Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. He already cheated death once, why no do again? Charlton Heston blesses him as John the Baptist. David McCallum (NCIS) betrays him as Judas. Telly Savalas (Kojak) beats him as Pontius Pilate. John Wayne has a moving cameo at a critical moment. The movie was shot on Ultra Panavision 70 so it really looks good on Blu-ray. If you’re looking for a New Testament epic to run after The Ten Commandments, pick up The Greatest Story Ever Told. This version is 3 hours and 19 minutes The bonus features include documentaries about the movie and George Stevens.

    The Secret of NIMH was Don Bluth’s first solo directorial effort after he left Disney animation in 1981. This is also his best effort which is why there was a tremble that he could diminish Disney’s lead in the industry. The movie is about a sweet mouse mom who can’t move her family to avoid the upcoming farmer’s plow. Turns out her son is too sick, Her only hope involves a pack of rats that have a shady background. They’re not normal rats. The animation looks even better in the new transfer. This is a film that deserves the special treatment. It does belong to be filed with your Disney titles. The voices include John Carradine, Dom Deluise, Derek Jacobi, Shannen Doherty, Aldo Ray and Wil Wheaton – the face of evil in Pasadena. The bonus features are the original trailer, an audio commentary with Don Bluth & Gary Goldman and “Secrets Behind the Secret” lets Don and Gary show and tell.

    CORMAN CULT CLASSICS CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature: Action Packed Collection brings three pieces of cross country car chase action of varying degrees. The star of the collection is The Great Texas Dynamite Chase starring the late great Claudia Jennings (‘Gator Bait). She busts out of prison with a plan on how to rob banks. She walks inside holding a lit stick of dynamite and wanting the money fast. During her first heist, recently fired teller Jocelyn Jones bonds with the outlaw. The hot blond duo cross the state with their explosive nature. This is a great drive-in flick with plenty of blowing up, car chases and nudity. Jennings was Playmate of the Year and doesn’t mind us how she earned that title.

    Georgia Peaches is a TV movie that Corman produced with the hopes of turning it into a series. The show seems eager to bump draft Dukes of Hazzard with it’s tale of modern moonshine in the South. Dirk Benedict (A-Team) gets behind the wheel of a special delivery moonshine machine. His main support are Tanya Tucker and Terri Nunn (pre-Berlin). Playing the role of Boss Hogg is Sally Kirkland. She wants to stop Dirk bad. Her henchman is Burton Gilliam (Blazing Saddles). The action looks good. Although it’s not a shame that the show didn’t get picked up since that would have denied us seeing Dirk as Face. He would have only been remembered as Starbuck. Smokey Bites the Dust is the worst looking of the trio, but luckily it’s also the worst playing. Jimmy McNichol is an out of control high schooler who gets a rush out of joyriding in students’ cars. He kidnaps the sheriff’s daughter during homecoming. This leads to a wild cross country chase that involves Arabs with swords. Director Charles B. Griffith had previously made Eat My Dust. McNichol lacks the charisma of Ron Howard. The film pads the chase scenes with footage taken from Eat My Dust along with Grand Theft Auto, Moving Violation and Thunder and Lightening. This isn’t quite up to usual New World standards. It should have been distributed by Crown International. The lack of nudity is a severe non-selling point. The greatness of The Great Texas Dynamite Chase and it’s low SRP makes this still a great way to spend a late night after a long drive. The only bonus features are the trailers for Dynamite and Smokey.

    DVD SHELF

    Dirty Mary Crazy Larry / Race with the Devil gives us Peter Fonda at his Drive-In Superstar prime. Dirt Mary Crazy Larry (1974) is a simple rush of a chase. Larry (Peter Fonda) is a race car driver that figures the best way to get funding to hit the circuit is to rob a store. Mary (Susan George) is his girlfriend that can’t disagree. Things don’t go too smooth. The cops come at them with everything they can use from super cars to helicopters. Can anything stop Larry’s Dodge Charger? I’m not going to spoil the ending. This is just freewheeling automotive mayhem. Only wish this was running at the Drive-in on Friday night.

    Race with the Devil (1975) reminds people why driving RVs to see America is a bad idea. Peter Fonda, Lara Parker, Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) and Loretta Swit (M*A*S*H) hit the road in a huge RV. Things are going fine until they stumble across the locals having a Satanic ritual involving human sacrifice. The locals don’t like people seeing their recreational activities. They come after the loving couples with a creepy vengeance. Who is part of their conspiracy? Will Fonda and Oates survive the madness? Wouldn’t things been better if they just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express? Both films make a dreamy double feature. Peter Fonda is the coolest member of his acting family.

    Dennis the Menace: Season One finally brings us the coolest black and white family show of 1959. The series was based on Hank Ketcham’s human tornado comic strip character. Dennis (Jay North) just wants to be helpful although it turns out to always be a nightmare for others. His dad (Herbert Anderson) and mom (Gloria Henry) can barely keep it together. The worst of Dennis’ good intentions falls on Mr. Wilson (Joseph Kearns). He can’t get a break when the neighbor kid bangs on his door. “Dennis and the Rare Coin” has Mr. Wilson thrown into jail. He’s the sweetest piece of trouble in the neighborhood. He does have a friend in Tommy to help him on schemes. In the comic strip his friend is Joey, but for some reason that kid only lasted five episodes. Ron Howard pops up as part of Dennis’ posse. The 32 episodes keep up the destruction. The bonus features include Dennis on The Donna Reed Show and the original sponsor promos. A recent interview with Gloria Henry and Jeannie Russell (Margaret) discusses how the actors altered the comic strip. It’s a relief to finally get to watch this show after seeing its peers come out on DVD over the years.

    VEGA$: The Second Season, Volume 2 brings another 11 episodes of the greatest character from the mind of Michael Mann. Dan Tanna (Robert Urich) rocks the Las Vegas strip in his cool Thunderbird. The best news for this part of the season is Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) getting his role upgraded since Tony Curtis took a break. The stars come out to be evil in Sin City. “Lost Monday” has Binzer (Bart Braverman) turned into a human time bomb thanks to Tige Andrews (The Mod Squad) and Dick Sargent (Bewitched). Lloyd Bochner leaves a trail of dead hookers in Tanna’s wake for “Consortium.” “The Hunter Hunted” unleashes Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) on Greg Morris. Fans of musical cheese gets a taste of The Captain and Tennille. They now perform in Reno. “Siege of the Desert Inn” brings the heavy ammo when Cameron Mitchell and Richard Bakalyan’s cashier heist goes bad. They hold up in the VIP tower with dancers as hostages. It’s as badass as can be when Tanna dangles from a helicopter. “Vendetta” gives me a rush to see Crown International Superstar Bill Adler (Van Nuys Blvd) as a guest star. It’s a shame Brett Meisner didn’t live to see this. VEGA$ remains the coolest show since they really shot around the city and didn’t fake it. How can their only be one more season left? Who dared to cancel Dan Tanna?

    All Good Things is a creepy crime movie starring Ryan Gosling as the heir to a Manhattan real estate fortune. His father (Frank Langella) constantly busts his balls. He’s got no direction in his life until he meets Kirsten Dunst. He wants to be part of the family business although dad only trusts him enough to have him collect the rent from the seedy spaces around Times Square. Things in the marriage go terribly wrong leading to Ryan moving to Texas and dressing as a woman. The best way to describe the film is the anti-Notebook. This is based on the true story of Robert Durst. What’s remarkable about Ryan Gosling’s performance is the sad thought that he was made to be the star of a Stanley Kubrick film. He has the stare among his other fine qualities. All Good Things is a sleeper film that shouldn’t be watched before bedtime.

    Wallenberg, A Hero’s Story was another of Richard Chamberlain’s legendary mini-series from the ’80s. This time he’s the real life Raoul Wallenberg. The Swedish diplomat refuses to be passive when the Nazis ship off Jews to the work camps. He begins by making several of them Swedish citizens. But the Nazis don’t like his games. Can he keep one step ahead of them while saving thousands of innocent lives? Or will he too end up on the train bound for a nasty end? Along with Chamberlain are Alice Krige and Melanie Mayron (thirtysomething). The three hour cut of the film moves briskly. The production levels make thing look authentic and not staged for TV. This was still the golden age of mini-series when it aired on NBC in 1985.

    Behind the Burly Q: The Story of Burlesque in America finally explains this form of entertainment that came between Vaudeville and stripclubs. Burlesque was all about pure carnal tease when it came to the female stars. This wasn’t all bump and grind. There was comedy and freakish acts. This is where Bud Abbott and Lou Costello came together. It’s where most of their material was perfected. Even Alan Alda’s dad Robert Alda got his start performing between the ladies. The documentary does a fine job bringing together archival material with original entertainers from the period. Director Leslie Zemeckis and her crew make the performers relaxed as they tells stories that range from the tragic to a dancer that married into royalty. If you’re the slightest bit curious about Burlesque after seeing the trailer for the Cher film or the Pussycat Dolls, this movie will give you an understanding and appreciation of what went on behind the doors. The good part is there’s no two drink minimum, but you might want to order a martini before hitting play.

    Behemoth declares there’s a major reason for seismic activity and it isn’t that plate theory. This original SyFy movie declares there’s a giant critter under the Earth that needs to get up. Ed Quinn (Eureka) gets drawn into the mystery of why a remote town is shaking like it’s built on Jell-O. He’s as surprised as the rest of us when the creature pokes up from below. It has all the CGI goodness we expect from a SyFy flick. The movie is monster cheese action with lots of glorious cliches on the screen. While this is a fun film, the monster causing earthquakes theory ought to be investigated by certain science hating members of Congress.

  • Party Favors: No Winners

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    ENCINO – One of the joys of life is not in the getting, but the ability to give. For the longest time I thought that sentiment was bullshit. It sounded more like the excuse of plague carrier. How can giving a trophy be better than receiving it? I found myself overblissed while handing hardware to a certain star.

    In case you tuned in late to the Icon Celebration special on the Dumont network, that was me on the podium announcing that 2011’s Spirit of Bob Crane Award winner was Charlie Sheen. Tears of joy were shed on the trophy that’s a bronzed Sony Portable camera from ’77. Who knew Charlie was capable of emotion – especially anyone who bought the DVD of Navy Seals.

    Charlie continues the legacy of the late great of Bob Crane. Both starred in completely absurd sitcoms. Crane played Col. Hogan on Hogan’s Heroes. We were supposed to believe he could run a major allied operation from beneath a Nazi POW camp. Charlie appears on Two and a Half Man. We’re supposed to believe he’s family entertainment and wears those shirts. What’s a bigger suspension of disbelief for a viewer? This would be easier if Jon Cryer looked more like Hitler.

    What ultimately led the jury to their decision is how Charlie embraces Bob’s belief that “A day without sex is a day wasted.” Charlie has numerous canceled checks to prove he walks the walk and talk the talk and bangs anything within his air space. He now has the Goddesses populating his life. Bob would so approve of having porn stars around the house even though he’d be having them do more action on his Ustream channel if you know what Bob means.

    There were plenty of reservations in giving the award to Charlie since along with sharing the love, he’s gotten nasty and surly. His recent meltdowns on Ustream have gone from good natured joshing to please let this be a scream for help. He’s like his father playing Col. Kurtz in home movies. He’s kinda like what we would have expected Keith Olberlmann to be doing on internet after he split with MSNBC. These two guys are baseball loving fans who despise their old bosses. The difference is that Keith showed us the new Topps baseball cards instead of rant about MSNBC dorks. Charlie needs to lay off Chuck Lorre since he’s proven that he can be funnier than Chuck. Odds are high that Chuck will turn his fury on Jim Parsons. Please don’t hurt Jim Parsons, Chuck!

    Why is Charlie Sheen delighted to be working with Mark Cuban on an HDNET series. Why? Charlie is all about Tiger Blood and Winning! Mark Cuban has how many NBA championship rings? Where’s the winning? At least I have a Midget League champions trophy on my mantle. I’m a winner. Maybe Cuban will be smart enough to shoot the Warlock rants in 3-D using red and blue glasses. I’ve already told Charlie he needs to stock his show with Jell-O wrestling with the ladies. People love the debauchery when you’re smiling. That gameplan has made Howard Stern’s career.

    Ultimately we hope that Charlie Sheen embraces the Spirit of Bob Crane Award and learns the lesson about the lifestyle – lock up your tripods after dark.

    As we were leaving the ceremony, it began to rain. Charlie took it as a bad omen. But I informed him that it was Bob Crane’s tears from heaven. He was touched that Charlie was living the dream that he feared America would never accept. Winning!

    ESCALATOR DISASTER

    If you remember back in the Fall, I wrote about being part of the great escalator disaster during the Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington D.C.? Well they finally released the footage from the bottom of the escalator at L’Enfant Plaza Metro Station. You can see the giant pile of humanity. And you can spot the star of my “Josie Rallies for Sanity?” video on the left side right before the nastiness.

    Here’s my original short:

    BIG RUMOR

    The word on the cable street is that Time-Warner and Comcast have decided to offer FoxNews and FoxBusiness as premium channels in certain markets. Fans of the channels will pay $2 a month to watch their favorite news and commentary shows. Why? Now that Comcast owns CNBC & MSNBC, they’re looking for an advantage to goose their ratings while not affecting the bottom line. Time-Warner is the same way with CNN. An unreleased poll conducted at the end of last year showed that constant viewers of FoxNews would be willing to pay extra to have the channel – like they do for HBO and Showtime. This is win-win since people who hate Fox News will no longer think they’re contributing to the channel’s coffers.

    SPITEFUL MILLIONAIRE

    I already hate Secret Millionaire because of its secret message: Rich People are nice too so don’t touch our taxes. This is the same sort of BS programming that makes Undercover Boss just one big pity plea for love. Here’s a simple thought – if giving matters this much to a rich person, why do they need network time to do it?

    These fat cats want to be as famous as a poor pregnant Teen Mom.

    Where’s a TV show about a poor person who sneaks inside a Rich Guy’s elite country club to make these stuffy jerks think he’s on of them? Or how about an series where the lowest ranked employee gets into the board room as an alleged fat cat? Of course that doesn’t happen cause the last thing rich people want to know is that they’re not that special. They have to belittle the poor acting rich like The Beverly Hillbillies or My Big Redneck Wedding. The harsh reality is a majority of the rich are trailer trash who fashion their life off Architectural Digest instead of the Jerry Springer Show. Look at Donald Trump’s hair – is it any better than what you’d see on the top of a People of WalMart photo?

    MUSICAL INTERLUDE

    Louise Lasser (Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman) makes a cameo in this video for The Indecent’s “Her Screwed Up Head.” These kids are so adorable, I want to adopt them or at order them to do yard work.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Battle of the Warriors really comes alive in 1080p. It’s an epic film that requires a big screen. The small town of Laing finds itself being attacked by the huge Zhao army. in 370 B.C. It looks like they’re going to be overwhelmed. But they don’t count on Andy Lau (Infernal Affairs) stepping up to defend the city. He’s a bad ass when it comes to big time fighting. He’s not going to cower in the wake of a siege. He’s ready to go 300 on the Zhao. You’ll get sucked into this with a good 50 plus inch screen. The bonus features include a commentary track with Bey Logan and nearly an hour long behind the scenes special. Here’s a couple clips to tempt your eyes.

    DVD SHELF

    Mystery Science 3000: Volume XX is all Joel Hodgson with the Bots. The biggest thing on the boxset is both episodes of Master Ninja. You might remember this goofy series by its original series title: The Master when it aired on NBC in 1984. They slapped together four episodes to make 2 movies. Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly) is the only American Ninja in Japan. He returns home to find his lost daughter. His only help is Timothy Van Patten (The White Shadow), his van and his hamster. Lee is hilarious in the role since he loses 40 pounds when he gets in the black ninja suit. There’s plenty of odd guest stars including a really young Demi Moore. George Lazenby (James Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) proves he hadn’t fallen off the face of the earth in ’84. The best part is when Joel comes up with a new theme song for the series. Project Moonbase is a first Comedy Channel season episode with Josh Weinstein. The space movie is so short that we get two chapters of Radar Men From the Moon. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad is a big budget Soviet film that isn’t really about Sinbad. But that’s half the fun of the riffs that attempt to make it be a film about Arabia. Mike Nelson’s voice does crop up during the sketches. The big highlight is the bonus feature of Tom Servo Vs. Tom Servo from Dragon-Con. Besides bringing together Josh Weinstein and Kevin Murphy, we get to spend 45 minutes with Ken Plume! That’s right, the editor of Asitecalledfred returns after last year’s Crow Vs. Crow. They talk about fan reaction to the switch and bring out a nasty “letter.” Hopefully this years Dragon-Con will rule with the rumored Cambot Vs. Cambot. If you order this straight from Shout! Factory’s website, they’re throwing in a squishy ball made to look like the MST3K moon logo as seen here:

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Double Feature – Jackson County Jail / Caged Heat! is what happens when future Oscar winners get involve in women behind bars. This is a double feature that requires you to bring money for popcorn and bail. Jackson County Jail serves as a warning as to why people who live in Los Angeles and New York City must flyover the rest of America in their travels. Yvette Mimieux gets fed up with Hollywood and makes a deal for a job back in Manhattan. Instead of hoping on an airplane for a red eye east, Yvette gets in the car to see America. She plays nice with a young couple and gives them a ride. Turns out the couple are pure evil and rob her blind. In the middle of the heartland, she gets arrested by the cops for vagrancy. While locked in the cell, a deputy sexually attacks her. Her only hope is Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive). He helps her escape the hell hole even as the law comes down on them. This was Tommy Lee Jones first major role. You can tell the guy was bound for bigger roles and not being stuck in the low budget ghetto.

    Caged Heat! was Jonathan Demme’s first major directorial effort. Erica Gavin (Vixen) gets busted when a robbery goes wrong. She gets sent off to a woman’s prison run by Barbara Steele. All the good things you want out of a women’s prison flick are elements including lots of group shower scenes. Erica can’t stand life behind bars with Steele’s sadistic rules. The girls are given shock therapy to calm them down. There’s a plan to escape. The cute Rainbeaux Smith is Erica’s cellmate. The action is so sweaty and steamy. The bonus highlight is a commentary track with Demme, Gavin and cinematographer Tak Fujimoto. Once more this movie makes me wish Demme would get back to his entertaining roots that peaked with his Oscar success of Silence of the Lambs. This film has a little more going for it when compared to other Women Behind Bars flicks. Major warning that this trailer is not to be viewed around children or people who can fire you from your veal pen gig:

    If you haven’t ordered any of the Roger Corman’s Cult Classics titles, this double feature is a perfect place to start.

    Gamera Double Feature – Gamera Vs. Zigra / Gamera: The Super Monster wraps up the Showa era of the mutant turtle. Zigra arrives from outer space as a UFO with a bubble gum machine top. It wants to take over the Earth since its own planet has been polluted. This is almost a reverse of most monster films where the mutant monster needs warn the earthlings about polluting our world. The only thing that can stop Zigra is two kids and Gamera. When Gamera first battles the UFO, it turns into a mega-shark. He can tear through the turtle’s shell with his fin. Can the kids help Gamera recover? Or are we all doomed? Gamera: The Super Monster was a revival of the series using clips of previous monster battles to save the budget more than the Earth. A little boy with a turtle must rescue us from a faux-Star Destroyer. He has a connection to Gamera cause Gamera is a friend to all children. The new effects were made on video so they look low budget TV shots. The movie ends on a closing note for the epic series. All eight of the original flicks are now on high quality transfers from Shout! Factory. It’s a childhood dream come true. But don’t cry since Gamera shall be returning with all five of his entries on Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXI.

    Capone lets Ben Gazzara wear the scarface of Al Capone. This shows the rise of a small time hood into the Underworld king of America during the prohibition era. Gazzara’s hardcore attitude makes him perfect for being a criminal mastermind. He’s got Sylvester Stallone as enforcer Frank Nitti. John Cassavetes is the New York crime chief that gives him a big break. There’s a sublime gritty nature to the frame. It looks like an underworld pic versus the sterile visuals of recent gangster flicks. This is worthwhile viewing for fans of The Untouchables and mobster flicks. Getting to see a young Stallone being hoodish is a bonus. The commentary track with director Steven Carver is very informative with the help of Nathaniel Thompson’s questions. Carver had previously done Big Bad Mama. He admits that Corman had the director use old footage from his The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre film to save on the budget. There’s a Timothy Carey casting story that will drop your jaw. The trailer for Massacre is included in the bonus features along with trailers and TV spots for Capone.

    Hannah Montana: Forever – The Final Season brings us to the end of the sensational series that made Miley Cyrus a superstar. She was the hottest thing on the TV dial. What happened? The fate of so many Disney Channel stars – she graduated from high school. These final 13 episodes get into how Miley Stewart let others in on her secret life. That she wasn’t just a normal high school kid. She was an international singing superstar known as Hannah Montana. There are plenty of guest stars for the goodbye. “Hannah Montana to the Principal’s Office” lets Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) play the principal. He’s not nearly as evil as he could be to the girl. Sheryl Crow strums it up on “It’s the End of the Jake as We Know It.” Wrestling champion John Cena pumps up the action on “Love That Let’s Go.” Proving his chin doesn’t scare kids, Jay Leno has Hannah on his show for “I’ll Always Remember You.” Dolly Parton takes time away from Dollywood for “Kiss It All Goodbye.” The final two episodes deal with Miley graduating from high school and wondering what to do with her life. Of course the answer is make more movies. The DVDs are stored within a book that contains cast memories of the show. Tons of photos to remind us that Billy Ray Cyrus really did have a comeback thanks to the show. There’s even a section devoted to the various wigs worn by Miley when she’s really Hannah. This is a proper gift for anyone that’s moaning the end of the series. Strange to think that we are living in a Post-Hannah Montana universe.

  • Party Favors: The Audio & The Visual

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    ROCHESTER, NY – Ever wonder why schools today stink compared to decades ago? Every think tank moron has their dubious reasonings that appeases their corporate masters. But the truth is extraordinarily simple: Schools dumped their education films.

    Do you remember those days when the gym teacher had to pad out health class by wheeling in the 16mm projector from the AV department? They’d thread up classic tales about your body, narcotics, driving safety and manners. Things which kids nowadays can’t seem to handle.

    When the VCR arrived in schools, the 16mm projector was quickly dumped as teaching tool.
    Where did these classic films go? Many arrived at the city dump. However a few lucky tens of thousands found themselves on the racks of the AV Geeks Archive. This repository of cinematic education is overseen by Skip Elsheimer. He started collecting the films after I moved out of the infamous PineHaus. I left that much space to be filled.

    Over the years, Skip has toured the country and released various video compilations with such titles as “Sex and Drugs,” Social Engineering” and a Lunch Box with a thermos and 4 discs.

    Safe…Not Sorry and The Celluloid Salesman are the recently released two volumes of Kino’s Classic Education Shorts series curated by Skip. Thus it was time to have a little email exchange with Skip about the two DVDs and the AV Geeks archive. Let the educating begin.

    Party Favors: How many titles are now in the AV Geeks Archive?

    Skip Elsheimer: Well, there’s over 23,000 reels but there’s duplication and some titles are more than one reel but I feel pretty confident that I have over 20,000 titles.

    Party Favors: Which of the collections was harder to curate for the DVD?

    Skip Elsheimer: The real challenge for the DVDs was figuring out which films to pick and which to leave off the DVDs. I had whole other DVDs worth of material for both titles. Celluloid Salesman was maybe a bigger challenge because the concept is a little foreign to most folks.

    Party Favors: How often are you on the road with presentations?

    Skip Elsheimer: I do monthly shows in the Triangle and then hit the road every couple of months.

    Party Favors: Are these topics ones that you’ve explored as themes to screenings?

    Skip Elsheimer: Yes. Although, with these DVDs I’ve pulled from a couple of different shows that I’ve done. I’ve done very general and very specific shows on safety and advertising.

    Party Favors: Did you do a live performance of the films to see which titles connected better with the audience?

    Skip Elsheimer: Yes, I get a good sense of what audiences respond to.. Even so, I do put films on the DVDs that I haven’t screened publicly.

    Party Favors: Is it odd to think there’s an entire generation of college graduates that has no memory of a 16mm projector in their classroom?

    Skip Elsheimer: Oh yeah, most folks don’t know what the projector is or they don’t understand that I have the actual film on a reel and not on a video tape or DVD. I mention that because a stack of 100 film reels takes up a lot of space and is very heavy. So imagine 23,000 reels.

    Party Favors: What do today’s kids receive as far as educational films in the classroom? Do they have time for such things while studying for the No Child Left Behind tests?

    Skip Elsheimer: I’m not sure what is happening in most schools. I know that teachers often show feature films or programs taped from the History Channel or Discovery Channel. There are plenty of topics however that aren’t addressed by video nowadays – social responsibility, courtesy and manners, etc. And it isn’t just No Child Left Behind. School shootings increased the need for schools to address bullying and diversity issues (to reduce their liability mostly), so social programs are usually geared towards those topics.

    Safe…Not Sorry focuses on the child abduction, school burnings and running with scissors. It reminds kids of the various ways they can poke an eye out.

    Party Favors: What made the “The Dangerous Stranger” so alluring?

    Skip Elsheimer: This film is the quintessential Sid Davis film. That guy made scores of films but they all have the same feel as this film. Plus it shows us the vocabulary of how we talk and think about strangers and children nowadays. I feel that our society has become super paranoid and it’s not helping protect children any more than before.

    Party Favors: Does it explain what child abductors did before the advent of the windowless van?

    Skip Elsheimer: I wouldn’t know. The hidden tragedy of these films are that many children are actually abused in their own homes by people they know. That subject is only really addressed in the 1980s films…

    Party Favors: How do kids react to seeing “Live and Learn?”

    Skip Elsheimer: I actually haven’t screened this film for kids. I’m guessing when it was released some kids would giggle and some would be aghast. Given the film is more than fifty years old, I’m guessing most kids now would just laugh at the slapstick aspect of the film – since it would seem so far removed from their contemporary lives. That was always the challenge of filmmakers – to keep current and relevant to young minds who were quick to dismiss.

    Party Favors: Do you think it’s important for small kids to see these films to get a visual as to the consequences to their actions?

    Skip Elsheimer: I’m not sure if the films are as effective as the filmmakers hoped. I think talking with kids – not at kids – is most effective.

    Party Favors: Has “Jackass” made children forget that most injuries don’t lead to fat paydays?

    Skip Elsheimer: I think it’s part of our genetic code that we think watching somebody fall down is hysterical. I’m sure somebody will figure out that even apes laugh at slapstick.. Jackass is just the latest version of the Three Stooges.

    Party Favors: We’re you spooked by “Ghost Rider?”

    Skip Elsheimer: I was amazed by the ending and that a bus safety film plays as a love story.

    Party Favors: What’s the best safety tip you received from watching these films?

    Skip Elsheimer: Well it’s not from this set but in “Sudden Birth” – a police training film – I learned to hold tight onto the legs of a just-delivered baby. “They’re slippery!”

    Party Favors: What’s the most paranoid piece of advice that was in a film?

    Skip Elsheimer:“Dangerous Stranger” is pretty paranoid but there’s another film called “Cautious Twins” which has these animated twin kids being stalked by every creepy adult imaginable just walking to get some bread for their mother. It’s so heavy handed that kids probably would miss the subtly of most child abductors.

    Celluloid Salesman teaches us

    Party Favors: Is there a real difference between the advice on these films and the various better salesman seminars offered at hotels around the country?

    Skip Elsheimer: Well, there are two types of films on this DVD. Some of the films are made specifically for salesmen. The others are advertising to sell the viewer a product, service or concept. The films made for salesmen certainly reinforce the same concepts over and over. The sales pitch films are like proto-infomercials. They capitalize on our desires and fears and laziness – just like nowadays.

    Party Favors: Were you motivated to buy any products featured in these films?

    Skip Elsheimer: Not these films. But I was involved with a project where I digitized 10,000 TV commercials. After watching 13 hours of Crest commercials, I had to start using Crest.

    Party Favors: What happened to the Potato Chip Institute that made “The Adventures of Chip and Dip?”

    Skip Elsheimer: They became the Snack Food Association and moved to Alexandria VA as a lobbying body. They lobbied and sued Proctor & Gamble and General Mills when those companies tried to call their potato crisps snacks – like Pringles – “potato chips”.

    Party Favors: Did Alistair Cooke make you want to visit Swinging London?

    Skip Elsheimer: No, the possibility of meeting swinging British chicks does however…

    Party Favors: What made “This Is…Elk Country” essential to the collection? Is there “This Is….Moose Country?”

    Skip Elsheimer: I had so many films targeting women as consumers that I wanted to include a couple for men. It’s a great film about hunting elk and “roughing it” with Schlitz beer and portable batteries. Moose Country? No, but Schlitz has a series outdoor sportsman films.

    Party Favors: Have you become a better salesman for the treasures of the AV Geeks archive from the films?

    Skip Elsheimer: We’ll see.

    Party Favors: Were there any titles you wanted to include, but couldn’t for copyright issues?

    Skip Elsheimer: Yes, I am stymied by that all the time. There is a great wealth of material that I would love to share but I’m limited by copyright – even though many of the companies no longer exist or are so big they don’t know they own the copyright. It’s often hard to search out the copyrights on some material and YouTube are hairtriggered in taking down anything copyrighted. We are losing a lot of our cultural history (film, music, literature) because a few companies are greedy and successfully lobby to extend Copyright durations.

    Party Favors: Any clue to the topics you’ll tackle in the next Classic Educational Shorts series?

    Skip Elsheimer: Well I’m doing two DVDs with Alpha Video soon. How To Be A Housewife and How To Be A Soldier. After that, who knows. I average getting a couple of films a day and have only seen about a fifth of my collection. I’m discovering gems all the time.

    Remember that educational films might be the best way to keep your kid from turning out to be a lawless moron unlike those Baby Stalin DVDs. Visit AVGeeks.com to find out if Skip’s bringing his films to your area.

    STORAGE RAIDERS

    Who knew that “abandoned” storage lockers would contain ratings gold? A&E has Storage Wars, Spike gives us Auction Hunters and finally TruTV has Forbidden Storage. All three shows have the same structure. A bunch of people running thrift shops and treasure hunters converge at storage centers to bid on storage lockers that are unpaid.

    My major issue with the genre comes from being shafted in the past by a storage center that first didn’t properly file a check and wanted to auction off our stuff with a week’s notice. Later the same storage locker was robbed when a creep cut off the lock, picked through the boxes and put their own lock on our unit. Who knew how many times they came and went. Naturally the owners of the storage place claimed they weren’t responsible for security. Their security cameras were useless since they weren’t angled right. Even worse, a week later they announced their monthly rates were going up. No larceny victim discount from them.

    But even with my antagonism towards the subject, I’m suckered into watching this like the freakish surgery shows that run late at night.

    The thing that gets me is that the producers never attempt to find out what happened to the old owners of the lots. There probably is a high percentage of the defaulting owners being dead. Watching the bidders poke their heads into the units and get mesmerized by the auctioneer makes it seem like they’re bidding to be grave robbers. They pick through the belongs like vultures devouring meat on bones of decaying cows – which is also my favorite show on Animal Planet. There’s plenty of time when you see a locker that can easily be understood as abandoned. The one full of dirty laundry and a cat urine soaked sofa wasn’t worth saving. People who figured it was easier to let the storage people toss it in the dumpster. But there are curious moments when there’s a true treasure inside. Once a guy found nearly $2,000 hidden in a painting. Why didn’t the person who rented the locker not just pay up their bill with their stash?

    But why dwell on such an obvious question when you’ve got to find out what else is tucked inside various objects? Of the three shows, I prefer Storage Wars for two of the regular characters. Barry Weiss is hilarious. He’s got an old Los Angeles hustler charm to him. He’s willing to do weird things to get the edge on what’s inside the unit like bring night vision goggles, a small person on stilts and psychic sisters. He also has cool skeleton gloves when he’s doing the dirty work. While Jarrod Schulz gets the star billing, his wife Brandi runs the show. She’s six sextuplets short of a TLC series. She’s got plenty of great ballbuster moments. Why A&E doesn’t give her a full biography on their website is a damn shame. They give Darrell’s barely on camera son Brandon the dazzling bio. Give Brandi her due!

    In the end, the shows do seems to speak of our rough economic times. People can’t even afford the rent. Others with money fight for their consumer remains. And we sadly witness stuff we hold near and dear get tossed into the dumpster since it isn’t fetching a dollar on eBay. Sometimes you are better off just setting stuff on fire.

    When will Flea Market Queens, Plasma Princes and Copper Recycling Kings be coming to TruTV?

    MILLION DOLLAR CAMPAIGN

    To all readers on Madison Avenue; why haven’t any of you properly marketed smartphones and computablets with the right advertising slogan? What could the most genius way to sell your phone to America? Sit down. Dim the lights. Be prepared to receive the wowza moment that shall get you the executive washroom key. Ready? Here it is:

    (Your Product) makes life an open book test.

    The ads write themselves. A nerdy guy telling an auto mechanic that there’s no such thing as a Dual Gasperator for his car thanks to a quick search. A dumb jock telling a professor they’re so wrong on historical facts. A driver telling a cop that he can’t give him a ticket for that offense. Isn’t that the best part of having a smartphone with internet access?

    The first Don Draper or Brian Kinney that drops me a line gets the deal done.

    GREATEST X-RATED COMEDY EVER

    This movie needs to get released on DVD by either Shout! Factory or Criterion. This is the movie Kevin Smith thinks he’s made.

    HOW MUCH FOR A MONKEY SKULL?

    My other new favorite show is Oddities on The Discovery Channel. This is about the Obscura Antiques and Oddities shop in Manhattan. Imagine Pawn Stars with Mike Zohn as Rick Harrison except instead of buying gold, he’s hunting down mummy hands and two faced calf heads. Mike’s assisted by Evan Michelson and Ryan Matthew in procuring only the best of Jim Rose-worthy bizarre items. I’m impressed since this is the type of cool and freaky store you’d imagine stumbling into while wandering through New York City. Sad to think that WalMart now wants to take over the Big Apple. Can’t wait to hear the intercom announce, “Clean up at CBGB aisle.” Oddities does need a visit from Chumlee although a drop by from Amy Sedaris was fun. This is where she bought outfits worn in her Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People book. Oddities gets shown on both Discovery and Science channels.

    FACEBOOK HATES BUNNIES

    How dare Facebook yank down Bunny Love’s profile. She’s an HBO superstar on Cathouse. Yet that doesn’t matter to Mark Zuckerberg and his little prude patrol. I miss my updates on the snow conditions in Tahoe.

    FOX SHOUT!

    Shout! Factory has made a deal with Fox to release a few of their films that haven’t been released on DVD. They’re going to come out with Sylvester Stallone and Ben Gazarra’s Capone, Peter Fonda’s drive-in epics (Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, Race With the Devil & Fighting Mad) and Damnation Alley in the coming year. The first four titles hit the shelves this month with major stars in overlooked roles.

    Lucky Lady gives the triple team of Burt Reynolds, Gene Hackman and Liza Minelli when they were at their prime. The trio take us back to the prohibition era when evil people thought they could cure America by banning booze. Liza plays a widow that takes over her husband’s smuggling business around San Diego. She enlists her lover (Burt) and a mystery partner (Gene) to work the boat. They sail out past the territorial waters of the US, get the bottles of booze and sneak them past the coast guard. Things get tricky when John Hillerman (Magnum P.I.) arrives to bring the law to the open sea. The big thing is the hint that the stars are into threesome action. It might have been a period piece, but they were a mod squad. There’s even a role for Geoffrey “I’m not Robert Pine” Lewis. Stanley Donen does a fine job recreating the time. It’s kinda like The Sting with Burt Reynolds. This came out in 1975 so Liza was still on her hot streak post-Cabaret.

    11 Harrowhouse comes from that strange era when Charles Grodin was a cinema superstar. He plays a diamond merchant in England that gets a major chance with a major diamond. However things go wrong and the precious stone is swiped. The thieves don’t want the diamond. They want Grodin assistance on a huge theft at the title’s namesake address. He has to drag his girlfriend (Candice Bergen) into the criminal planning. There’s a trio of British greats filling out the cast with James Mason, Trevor Howard and John Gielgud. It’s far from an average jewel heist flick with enough talent on the screen to dazzle beyond the rocks.

    Butch and Sundance The Early Days / Death Hunt is a Western double feature. After the success of the original film, the studio wanted its sequel. However it had to wait a decade and get new stars to play the playful outlaws. Instead of Paul Newman, the younger Butch Cassidy was Tom Berenger (Platoon). The Sundance Kid’s boyish face belonged to William Katt (Greatest American Hero) instead of Robert Redford. The good new is that they hired Richard Lester (A Hard Days Night, Three Musketeers & Superman II). He brings the action. There’s plenty of great supporting faces including future Buckaroo Bonzai cast member Peter Weller, Christopher Lloyd and Vincent Schiavelli. The film is a bit more comedic since Allan Burns wrote the script. You might recognize him as a creator of My Mother the Car, The Munsters and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. There’s plenty of slapstick as the duo learn the ropes to being train robbing outlaws. It’s interesting to think that William Katt was pegged as the next Redford before his successful career in Cinemax After Dark favorite films.

    Death Hunt features Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin in their later years. Marvin is going after Bronson in the snowy wilderness. He’s a mountie who always gets his man. Bronson has zero plans from being nabbed. Marvin’s woman is Angie Dickinson. It’s pure macho as they race across the frozen mountains. It’s a chilled badass super cinema cocktail. This is based on a true story. Andrew Stevens appears in the film which is interesting since he made the Cinemax After Dark films that William Katt couldn’t book. The film was directed by Peter Hunt. He’s best known as the innovative editor on the first James Bond movies. He went on to direct On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – one of the three best Bond films. The action really looks great. This movie is meant to be experienced inside a man cave with the air conditioning blasted.

    THE DVD SHELF

    Hoodwinked gives another version of Little Red Riding Hood. The police interrogate the fairytale suspects to get the truth of the story. Famous voices are all over the project with Anne Hathaway as Little Red Riding Hood. Patrick Warburton goes sly as the Big Bad Wolf. The woodsman gets dumber thanks to Jim Belushi. Andy Dick voices a bunny. Case is solved since there’s no way Andy Dick isn’t guilty. The new release comes with both a Blu-ray and DVD so you can have one for the house and one for the car when it comes time to CGI dazzle the kiddies. It looks better in the 1080p of Blu-ray with Warburton’s voice wrapping around you. There’s deleted scenes, a commentary track from the filmmakers, a Behind the Scenes featurette and a piece on how to make your own animated film. This is more fun than Green Hornet.

    The Fugitive: The Fourth and Final Season, Volume Two brings to an end the greatest television pursuit show of all times. Dr. Richard Kimble (David Janssen) has been running around the country in search of a one-armed man that he swore killed his wife. On his trail is Lt. Philip Gerard (Barry Morse). There’s a lot of other adventures before the finale lets the mystery of the homicide be revealed. “The Other Side of the Coin” gets Kimball framed for a robbery since the real crook is the sheriff’s son (Beau Bridges). “The One That Got Away” lets Charles Bronson (Death Wish) recognize Kimble. “Concrete Evidence” doubles up the character actors with Jack Warden and Harold Gould. Jack Lord isn’t all law and order on “Goodbye My Love.” He wants to frame Kimball in the murder of his wife so he can marry his mistress. “The Judgement” is a two part finale that finally gives us all the answers as to what happened the night Kimball’s wife died. I won’t spoil the ending. A bonus interview with composer Dominic Frontiere lets him say that Quinn Martin considered these episodes a major mistake. Since it ended the series, the show didn’t do that well in syndication. He wouldn’t make Star Trek money. The 15 episodes are on 4 DVDs. Now that The Fugitive is all on DVD, will CBS DVD please give us the last season of The Untouchables?

    Night Catches Us is a tough drama about the return of a Black Panther (Anthony Mackie) to his Philly home in 1976. It’s not a warm homecoming since people swear he snitched out his fellow Panthers. His only real support is Kerry Washington. She ought to have a reason to hate his guts. It’s not an over the top film dealing with such an explosive topic. There’s a few faces from The Wire in the production. Wendell Pierce (Treme) gets to be a bit of the law once more. Jamie Hector (Marlo on The Wire) maintains his smoldering intensity in the role of DoRight. This is so much better than a Tyler Perry production.

    Monsters is what happens when you combine a good story with the budget of a SyFy channel alien flick. It doesn’t always have to turn out flaky. A NASA space probe crashes in Mexico and unleashes intergalactic lifeforms that take over the northern part of the country and a bit of Texas. A photojournalist (Scoot McNairy) on the southern end of the infected zone gets a gig to bring back the boss’s daughter (Whitney Able). Their dangerous journey keeps getting derailed by greedy travel agents, shoddy equipment and giant spider-like monsters. The film becomes a bit of a romance as the two head North without a guide. This is finally a date film with aliens. It’s Love in the Time of Monsters. Some nerds might be disgusted that it’s not full of lasers and space ships zipping around with a rah-rah message. Not all low budget monster films have to feature Tiffany and Debbie Gibson wrestling in a wedding cake. Monsters should have been up for a Best Pic nom at the Indie Spirit Awards.

    Ong Bak 3 gives a third (and supposedly final chapter) to Tony Jaa’s Thai action epic. He’s best known for bringing elephants into the martial arts genre. The film opens with Jaa’s Tien completely messed up by the wicked Lord Rajsena. There’s probably a really great cultural plot, but ultimately what makes this film work is the sadistic grace of Jaa. He knows how to not only dish it out, but take a beating. It’s like Passion of the Christ on his body. He’s not afraid to look like a bloody mess during his struggle. The locations around Thailand look amazing as Jaa unloads the fury. Jaa is pound for pound the best cinematic ass kicker going today. The bonus feature is the HDNet special about the film.

    The Guardian: The Final Season wraps up Simon Baker’s first major US series. The premise has him as a partying attorney that gets busted on drug charges. His penalty is to perform 1,500 hours of community service. Since the first season, he’s gotten straightened up even though he has lapses. “Big Coal” has him fighting for a sick guy who is getting stiffed by his insurance company. Henry Gibson (Blues Brothers), Nick Searcy and M. Emmet Walsh (Blade Runner) guest star. “The Father-Daughter Dance” has Nick sue a fertility clinic for a white couple that had a black baby. But there’s a nagging suspicion that the wife might have gone outside the clinic. High School Musical fans will scream with Zac Efron appearing in “Without Consent.” Erik Estrada pops up in “The Bachelor Party.” These are the last 22 episodes of the series. Baker now is the star of The Mentalist so don’t feel too bad that series ended before hitting five seasons.

    Have Gun Will Travel, The Fifth Season, Volume 2 wraps up the penultimate season with 19 episodes on 3 DVDs. Paladin (Richard Boone) continues to perform the dirty work necessary around the Old West. He’ll go anywhere and solve anything for a price. “The Exiles” brings him into international intrigue as he’s hired to go after exiled nobles that might have stolen bonds on their way off the throne. Another royalty in exile needs his services in “The Hunt.” However this time the guy wants to chase down Paladin since he’s bored by shooting elk. Harry Dean Stanton is a murdering rapist in “The Waiting Room.” “The Trap” presents more of Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle‘s Sgt. Carter). William Conrad gets to go cowboy in “Man Who Struck Moonshine.” He’s running a still. “Coming of the Tiger” enters the great James Hong. Where is his Kennedy Center Honor? “Jonah and the Trout” hooks Bill Mumy (Lost In Space). Richard Boone is still cool after all these years as the man in black out to solve problems for a price.

    ReBoot: Seasons 1 & 2 contains the revolutionary Saturday morning cartoon. Back in 1994, this became the first computer animated cartoon. The show was a bit like Tron in that it took place inside a Mainframe computer. Bob is the guardian of the area. He gets help with Phong, Dot Matrix, Enzo Matrix and their dog Frisket. They all must help defend their world from Megabyte, Hexadecimal, Mouse, Hack & Slash. They are computer viruses from an era when such evil didn’t come in an email letting us know they love us. Although Megabyte will enter core control chamber disguised as an upgrade. There’s a bit of nostalgia watching these old codes battling it out in the programming. This was a time before social networking became all the rage in the computer world. There’s 23 episodes spread over two DVDs. Youthful geeks will get a buzz out of the Computers 101 action. There’s an audio commentary that explains how they pulled off this CGI action 17 years ago. The kings of Facebook were kids watching this show back in the ’90s. You can order ReBoot: The Definitive Mainframe Edition directly from Shout! Factory’s website if you want all four seasons and bonus features.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    The Reef was once given the more colorful name of Shark Bait. Hard to tell why they changed it unless parents were reluctant to give their kids a movie that suggests a feeding frenzy. The movie continues the Freddie Prinze Jr. genre of plucky young guy aching to get the girl. In this case he wants to hook up with a fish voiced by Evan Rachel Wood (True Blood). She’s a famous fish model on the coral reef. Freddie’s big rival is a shark that’s a little bit psychotic. He might get eaten. The CGI isn’t overwhelming and doesn’t quite dazzle on the Blu-Ray 1080p. Seems a big part of the budget went to loaded up famous voices including Andy Dick, Donal Logue, John Rhys-Davis, Fran Drescher and future Oscar winner Rob Schneider. The Reef is aimed straight at young kids. The shark action isn’t that angry and intense. The bonus feature is a DVD that you can run on the mini-van’s player to keep the little ones occupied.

  • Party Favors: Look To The Skies!

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    darkskiesROSWELL, N.M. – The aliens have returned! Maybe not returned so much as finally arrived on home video with the release of Dark Skies: The Declassified Complete Series on DVD. Startling enough, the show only lasted a season on NBC in 1996. It gained a large cult with an alternative history of America in the ’60s. “History as we know it is a lie” was the startling series slogan. John Loengard (Eric Close) went from plucky congressional aide to a member of the ultra creepy Majestic 12 run by Frank Bach (J.T. Walsh) to battle the alien menace. An equally bizarre transformation happens to his girlfriend, Kimberly Sayers (Megan Ward). She gets alien abducted and returned. The perky perfect sixties gal goes to dark side. Can he bring her back?

    Megan Ward called up the Party Favors hotline for a brief chat about the series, being covered in cow guts, the late J.T. Walsh and Oscar host James Franco. Ward has been acting for over two decades in movies and TV shows. You might remember her from Encino Man, PCU, Freaked, The Brady Bunch Movie and Joe’s Apartment. She’s also been on Class of ’93, Melrose Place, Sleeper Cell and Party of Five. Currently she’s on call for General Hospital as Kate Howard. Even with such a busy career, she still remembers her time being probed by aliens.

    “What I found important and moving about the initial script and a good first half of the season that it was as much about the aliens as it was about America,” Ward said. “These two young people reflected where the consciousness was in America. Finding out the truth about the aliens and the conspiracy to conceal them by the government changed them. And it’s the same thing that happened to America…becoming wiser and the American dream slipping through their fingers with the different historical events that happened. It was the human aspect of the show, not just the alien and conspiracy aspect that made the show special.”

    The show comes off as a twist of X-Files, The Invaders and Mad Men. Although that last part wouldn’t happen for over a decade. Maybe the aliens saw into the future? In an odd coincidence Mad Men‘s John Slattery gives a non-credited performances as a newscaster in a Dark Skies episode. We didn’t have time to talk about Roger Sterling’s appearance. We did address how Dark Skies had outline for all five season that went from the early ’60s to modern times which would have been the future a decade ago. I asked if she got excited guessing the time period of an upcoming script.

    “In the very end is when they sped it up a lot,” Ward said. “In the beginning it was over those few years of significant events from assassination of JFK, Beatles coming to America, Mississippi Burning, and astronaut missions. There really was this sort of compact amount of events during the time. It was an amazing time in history so it was ripe for the producers to start the show during that time.”

    The pilot excited her from the page. This was not the normal TV show that had a hour-long pilot script with potential for 99 more episodes.

    “It was probably the most dynamic and interesting script I had ever read,” she said. “It really set itself up from the get go with a cover letter from John Loengard to really get you to buy it. I didn’t see any of the tricks along the way because the read itself was compelling. The fact that it was a two hour pilot meant it was a full length movie where you could tell a full story versus the selling points for a new show. It was its own story that ended with ‘Ok, now what happened’ versus ‘I get what this show is about.’ That was exciting to participate in.”

    The pilot movie got plenty of buzz with Tobe Hooper directing and Bill Butler as director of photography. The man who brought America The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the cinematographer that captured Jaws weren’t the usual pilot season tag team. What did she think of seeing them on set?

    “Wasn’t that cool?” Ward acknowledged. “It was great. I knew exactly who they were. I was so pleased because it further impressed me to the quality of what this show could be. You knew that hey were going to shoot it well. There was a scene where the ball light is presented in front of her. She’s reaching out and being compelled to touch it and go to Hive. This was such a Tobe Hopper moment. Normally during filming even if there are special effects, you don’t hear anyone talking or throwing directions. He started directing me about what that ball meant. It was really a lightbulb in the actor’s hand. He just started throwing out, “Man, It’s so trippy. It’s so weird” in his hippie speak. It was such a defining moment of “Yes, I worked with Tobe Hooper.” It was really great.”

    Because of the digital video effects used on the show, it was hard to tell if she got gooped up. Enquiring minds had to know if she was coated in alien goo.

    “I think I did get covered in something,” she admitted. “I also had to do all the casts and make the molds ahead of time. They had to make my puppet that got encased inside some sort of resin or gel. Eric managed to get away with very little special effects stuff. I was the one who was probed, things up my nose, and coughing stuff up. I had all the difficult special effects stuff. But once you do it, you get yourself through it. It’s not as nasty as working with cockroaches or jumping in pits of cow organs – which I’ve done in my past.”

    She was the romantic interest in the cockroach heavy Joe’s Apartment. Arcade had her starring with Seth Green, John De Lancie (Q) Peter Billingsley (A Christmas Story) and Chef Chris Cosentino’s favorite cuts. The film was about a kid getting sucked into a video game.

    “My character escapes one of the levels through a portal that was a dry ice infused, organ rich, bubbling pond. They literally took innards from the grocery store and had them floating on top. At the end of the scene, I had to jump into it. That’s how dedicated I am to my craft.”

    Oddly enough Megan Ward was not a star of Hot Dog…The Movie. She was extremely dedicated on Dark Skies since it wasn’t an easy shoot compared to a sitcom.

    “What was difficult about this show was physically accomplishing it,” Ward said. “It was so demanding because we had the Sixties time period. We had historical events. We had action. We had aliens and special effects. It was very challenging show to get all of that in with integrity and authenticity in a regular episodic show. We had an 80 hour week. It was more about getting it done and surviving it because we were so ambitious.”

    The 4:30 a.m. call times weren’t the only things taxing Ward’s stamina. “A lot of what Kim did was give the emotional perspective on where they found themselves in the situation. It was a very draining experience,” she said.

    But even with the lack of sleep and hitting extreme emotional notes, Ward got pumped up by the historical moments on the set.

    “It was quite exciting to say, ‘What event do we get this week?’ When we got the Beatles event, that was so much fun,” she said.

    Her favorite location was a simple place. “We were on the beach, It was cold and we were shooting in the dead of winter, but it was so refreshing to be out of the grittier locations and muddy farms,” she confessed.

    The ultimate question about working in a show that covered so much of the ’60s; what was her favorite hairstyle?

    “I liked my big hair,” she said. “It got too big at times. Some of the stuff I look back and go, ‘That was wrong.’ We always joked that my hair was a helmet and I just needed a chinstrap. it would have been easier if we had.”

    J.T. Walsh brought the goods to the series as the mysterious military man. He was a solid actor who had appeared in over 70 movies and TV shows. He seemed destined for a long career like Charles Lane with his ability to project the no nonsense authority figure. It was a shock when he passed away in 1998 of a heart attack at age 54. What was Walsh like at what turned out to be the end of his career?

    “He was great,” Ward testified. “He was tough. He knew who he was. He knew what he was doing. He was really wise and smart. He had no patience for time wasted. He could be difficult if he was unhappy with the length of time something took to shoot or if there was some confusion. He was never that way to me. I really looked up to him. I was a young actor and I knew I had a lot to learn. I appreciated working with an actor of his caliber and experience because I always felt very safe with him in a scene. I didn’t have to think for him. He always inspired me as an actor. It was fun to work with him. It was challenging to work with him in the way actors dream of. It was a pleasure and we miss him a lot.”

    Was Walsh’s no nonsense attitude part of him or merely him tapping into the characters he was constantly cast as?

    “I don’t know,” Ward said. “The truth of the matter is that actors can only play a part of themselves. I think it just zeroed in on who he was. He was a wonderful storyteller. He had this other side to him that you would see once and a while. When it came to the work, he was fairly disciplined. He wanted to get it done and get it over with – which is a good thing. But you had to be careful around him because you could set him off. He could get upset very easily. He wasn’t as kind to other people on the show as he was to me.”

    The boxset for Dark Skies: The Declassified Complete Series has commentary tracks along with a documentary about the series featuring producers & creators Bryce Zabel and Brent Friedman. For a show that was filled with government secrets; was she shocked to learn information about the show from the bonus features?

    “It’s interesting looking back on something where you have so much more information than at the time,” she said. “It’s funny that being on the set 80 hours a week and being the female lead of a show, you’d think I’d know everything going on. But you don’t know that much unless you’re intentionally included on information.”

    Did she know that the producers had sped up their outline when they knew NBC didn’t want to renew the series?

    “I knew that Kim’s role had changed through the course of the end of the season,” Ward said. “I was really uncertain how she’d come back since she ended as a villain.”

    There was no hint to her that the season ending episode would be the last.

    “A producer can’t really tell an actor that it looks awful that the network isn’t supporting us and returning my calls. It wouldn’t be good for an actor’s morale to know all that ahead of time.

    Last year James Franco became a sensation for his short tenure on General Hospital. His clips shown on Talk Soup didn’t hint he’d cut off his arm in quest of an Oscar. What was Ward’s opinion of the star of His Royal Highness

    “It’s funny because my character actually introduces James Franco, but we’re never on screen together because I had a scheduling conflict,” Ward admitted. “So I had to shoot all of my stuff the day before his character arrives. He came in the next day. My character introduces him to the town of Port Charles where General Hospital takes place. I’m in some other room and everybody is going into the room where he is. Our storylines never coincided again. He plays an artist and my character’s a fashion editor. She hosted an art show featuring his character’s art which is how he came to town. That was the closest I got to James Franco.”

    Now that Dark Skies: The Declassified Complete Series has been released; Ward is eager to see a few other of her shows on DVD.

    “I have two. One is Four Corners which was a short lived series I did with Ann-Margret and Sonia Braga. I’m so proud of it. Such a great, cute family drama. There was only five shows so they cut it down to a TV movie. So I don’t think that will ever happen. The one I really want to come out is Class of ’96 which was a show about a freshman class. It was in 1992 when Fox went seven nights a week. It was very sentimental and thoughtful with really great characters. We did 17 of those shows. I’m trying to get Shout! Factory to do that one.”

    I WROTE THAT

    Will the press quit playing the game of guessing who wrote O – the novel about Obama running for re-election. I wrote it. I’m Anonymous. I was keeping it on the down low since I don’t need the Secret Service all in my business. Why break my silence? I’m hearing all these big name political writers hinting they might have done it. But they won’t say it was them. And they can’t it because it’s me. You might as well take a silver Sharpie and write my name on the spine. I was quite upset that my editor did force me to rework the original title: “O: The Erotic Journal of a President Campaigning from DC for a Little AC.”

    JUST GIVE OUT THE TROPHIES

    This year’s award season has me rather bored. It’s a relief that they’ve moved up the Oscars to Feb. 27 from its old date in April. There’s no sparkle or glamor this year. Did people show up at the Golden Globes wearing cords? There’s no nasty blood feuds being played out in public. For a bunch of dramatic people, it’s too calm. Does everyone now live in fear of opening up their yaps and getting shot down like Mickey Rourke on The Wrestler‘s failed run for glory? Why isn’t James Franco trash talking Colin Firth? A little speech issue is more award worthy than cutting off your arm with a Swiss Army knife?

    The only film I’m rooting for is Restrepo since we did cover Sebastian Junger in the column. It’ll keep Party Favors as the good luck charm for Best Documentary winners.

    DVD SHELF

    Black Panther revives the African superhero using Marvel Knights animation to bring movement to Reginald Hudlin’s reboot. The director of House Party had taken over the series in 2005. A few years later he became President of Entertainment for BET. The channel asked him to develop his version of Black Panther as a network cartoon. Like previous Marvel Knights projects, they bring the panels alive. John Romita, Jr’s original art gains motion. Although since this was a done for a TV show, there’s more in these six episodes than the first six comics. There’s a whole subplot involving Black Panther and the X-Men’s Storm. They are a natural fit since she’s also from Africa. The events covered deal with Prince T’Challa (Dijmon Hounsou) winning a tournament in Wakanda. His prize is the role as the new Black Panther. His first gig in the new job – fight against Klaw, the guy who killed the previous Black Panther. There’s a major battle as Klaw invades Wakanda with a team of super villains. Lot of good explosions in the exotic location. Stan Lee has a vocal cameo. The bonus features include a documentary about making the series, a music video and a trailer.

    Matlock: The Sixth Season serves up more sweet Southern justice. “The Witness Killings” gives an unexpected sour homecoming for lawyer Ben Matlock (Andy Griffith). Turns out his relatives hate him for going to Atlanta instead of being the town lawyer. He’s given his chance to practice in hometown as locals are being murdered. “The Marriage Counselor” has the professional therapist get killed. Turns out the guy has been “helping” his clients by seducing the wives. Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) gets his freak on. “The Picture” brings back Don Knotts as the neighbor. Although I get major rush with the arrival of Doug McClure on “The Outcast.” Matlock retires when he screws up a case. Will he ever return to the bar or will we drink to his demise? The big finale is “The Assassination” with a local mayor getting plunked. There’s plenty of killing for a movie length episode. This was the final season the series aired on NBC and shot in Los Angeles. Next season moved the show to ABC and Wilmington, NC.

    Freakonomics brings the theories of Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner from the best selling book to the screen. This is a magazine style adaptation of the book with an all-star documentary team creating the segments. Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) ponders if fancy naming your kid matters. Why We Fight‘s Eugene Jarecki distills the radical relationship between crime rates and abortion. Jesus Camp‘s Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady follow high schoolers that have a chance to make money for good grades. Does cash turn bad grades into Harvard ready GPAs? Client 9‘s Alex Gibney’s piece on cheating in Sumo wresting could have been expanded into its own movie. There’s a lot of shocking revelations spinning out of a simple case of people letting their friends share in the paydays. Did you know the police in Japan will report your homicide as natural causes if they don’t have an immediate murderer? Don’t die in Tokyo. The film comes off as a great start to a continuing TV series. There needs to be more exploration of their odd theories. I knew Dubner from his previous life as a guitarist in the Right Profile and an entertainment writer. Strange to see him now in this role. Although nothing in this film is as freaky as his hair back in the ’80s. This is a must see for people who like odd connections.

    Client 9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer explores what the hell happened to the former governor of New York. How did a guy on the political rise allow himself to become ruined by a prostitution scandal? He’s not completely ruined since he got his own show on CNN. This isn’t a single narrative. We get a view from Manhattan from the view of hookers, investment bankers and Spitzer. The movie explores how this guy was supposed to be a hero. Director Alex Gibney has become the documentarian who has a way of distilling the most complicated of characters and scandals. He’s done it with Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, Casino Jack and the United States of Money and Taxi to the Dark Side. He’s created a team that rivals 60 Minutes at its prime. There is more information here than your average news network that reduces coverage to cartoonish pundits screaming opinion disguised as referenced facts. It’s hard to say that the Sheriff of Wall Street was set up. He knew he was marked. Spitzer upset wealthy people and their corporations. He went after AIG before it needs nearly $200 billion of our money for their outrageous business practices. His enemies do have their say in the film. They were ready to pounce when Spitzer’s vice was revealed. Spitzer allowed himself to be destroyed. The film makes us realize that you have to be a monk if you wish to rally against dangerous players. If you need to see prostitutes, why not go visit Bunny Ranch where it is legal?

    Down Terrace is a British family crime comedy that reminds you why it stinks to work for relatives. Bill and Karl swear there’s a rat in their operation. They get sprung from jail and immediately sniff around for the cop lover. They run their operation out of Brighton. Oddly enough, Bill and Karl are played by a real life father and son team. There’s a bit of natural truth in their bickerings. It captures the charm of The Sopranos without so much marina sauce on the action. Down is my favorite English crime flick since Sexy Beast. This deserves a spot in your overlooked film night.

    Clover sticks Elizabeth McGovern (The Bedroom Window) in a tricky racial situation. She marries Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters and Oz) which seems fine. She doesn’t quite get along with Ernie’s daughter. But it’s nothing beyond the normal stepmom friction. There’s no time for things to ease out since Ernie drops dead. She’s legally the child’s sole guardian now. His side of the family isn’t happy that Elizabeth wants to raise the daughter. Will anyone let her be a mom? This Hallmark TV movie is much more masterful in the treatment of the subject than a Tyler Perry film. Zelda Harris is fantastic as the girl trapped in the middle of a family loyalty struggle.

    Erich Segal’s Only Love brings together the charming couple of Rob Morrow and Marisa Tomei. This is a nearly three hour-long Hallmark presentation that goes for the sentimental. Rob Morrow is a doctor who reunites with a lost love (Life Force‘s Mathilda May) when she needs his help with a deadly tumor. Decades before, the duo had survived a war in Africa. Now he has to find a way to stay focused and professional. He can’t afford to destroy his marriage and kill his old flame. Luckily he’s married to Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler) so it’s not that tempting to cheat on her. This is a perfect DVD to give the wife while you retreat to you hidden fortress to watch exciting college basketball action. Morrow and Tomei need to play a married couple again.

  • Party Favors: Ascots For All

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    ENCINO, CA – While Charles Nelson Reilly is beloved for his time on Match Game, there’s more to this actor than Dumb Dora answers. He was the toast of Broadway with roles in Hello Dolly and Bye, Bye, Birdie and won the Tony for How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. Later in life he directed several plays on the Great White Way. While many actors sum up their lives in thick tomes, Charles created a one-man show. He was a stage performer so this was the best way to distill his experiences for an audience. The Life of Reilly captures his final performance before his passing in 2007.

    After playing the festival circuit and a limited theatrical release, Life of Reilly is finally out on DVD, Blu-ray and iTunes. You can take Charles every where. In edition to the feature film, there’s tons of bonus features including a video of a longer performance, a tour of his house and a commentary track with Burt Reynolds, Anne Meara, Jerry Stiller and the late Dom DeLuise. This is a testament to a comic genius who immortalized in his upper corner seat on the Match Game set. Only thing it’s missing is Weird Al’s tribute song CNR – which I’ll include here:

    I had a chance to swap email with Barry Poltermann. He co-directed the film with Frank L. Anderson. Poltermann has served as editor on Chris Smith’s legendary American Movie and Collapse.

    PARTY FAVORS: What is your first memory of Charles Nelson Reilly?

    POLTERMANN: Wow, hmmm. Well, I remember watching The Ghost and Mrs. Muir on TV when I was very young, and he was a regular on that. So that would have to be it. But the thing about Charles in the ’70s was he was one of those actors who was just in the ether… I bet to most people that grew up in that era he was just ubiquitous… like polyester… he just was everywhere.

    PARTY FAVORS: How did you meet Charles Nelson Reilly?

    POLTERMANN: We called him out of the blue after hearing that he was doing a one man show. The show had gotten great critical acclaim on the theater circuit around 2001. We’d heard about it, and somewhere along the line we got the idea of doing a Swimming to Cambodia style treatment of a Charles Nelson Reilly play. We thought that seemed like a funny idea. So, we called his agent and he set up a lunch meeting at the Polo Lounge…which is near Charles’ house in Beverly Hills.

    PARTY FAVORS: What was the first thing that struck you about him as he talked?

    POLTERMANN: That he was the same guy I remembered from the ’70s… the same crazy, goofy… kind of sly and well… naughty, I guess. He looked old now… which made sense as he was now in his 70s, but I hadn’t seen him for years and didn’t even recognize him when he came into the room. But when he started talking and telling stories, the energy returned… the humor, the charm. It was one of the best days of my life… fun as hell as he told one story after another. We eventually went back to his home and watched several hours of video tapes of him doing the show in dinner theaters and such over the years… all these grainy, lock down videos. And still the show was fun and entertaining.

    PARTY FAVORS: How many times did you watch his one-man-show before you figured out how to visually capture it?

    POLTERMANN: We got our hands on all of the video copies of the show that we possibly could from Charles or other friends and digitized them all to create an advanced edit of the show for story. Charles had so many different shows he did telling so many different stories that we had a wealth of material to work with Basically we cut several hours of raw material down to a 90 minute cut that was the distilled essence of the stories we wanted to focus on, ordered the way you see them in the finished movie. Then we transcribed it and storyboarded it. Ultimately the storyboards were a waste of time as Charles simply never hit his marks or did things in a way we could plan around, but the script was very valuable. We were able to cover all kinds of inserts, stories and pieces that he didn’t do live in order to sharpen the story and focus his three hour plus stage play down.

    PARTY FAVORS: What did you want the film to feel like?

    POLTERMANN: I mentioned Spalding Grey before… Swimming to Cambodia. We studied that and Stop Making Sense prior to shooting. But in the end, it is much more raw and hand held, which I like. It’s as if you did a raw, handheld version of Stop Making Sense with Charles Nelson Reilly instead of the Talking Heads.

    PARTY FAVORS: Did you determine before or after the filming as to what moments could use outside illustration?

    POLTERMANN: Both. We created several elements, such as the Pelican sunset at the end, and shot them with Charles during the initial week of shooting. But many of the illustrations were done later during editing. For instance we had generic fire elements for the shoot to project, but ended up getting actual footage from the Hartford Circus Fire so we integrated that later. The Christmas In Connecticut animation and Columbus the Man play footage were ideas we had during editorial. It was mostly in editorial.

    PARTY FAVORS: What were the key moments on the production?

    POLTERMANN: Deciding to go handheld was big. It was a necessary reaction to the fact that Charles’ would never hit a mark or do anything in the same order. It was impossible to plan anything. He was so free form that we began to look at it as a documentary of a performance, instead of a filmed performance. If that makes sense… just capture what he does as best we can and then we’ll make the story work in post. It had to be kind of abstract as we had to cut to close-ups from different nights when he was standing in a totally different part of the stage and still make it work. So we decided to let it fly and let Charles be Charles.

    Another big moment was when it started raining on the last night. It was really unusual that it would rain in LA in October… and rain was always Charles’ good luck sign. He spoke about it often. How rain would make things OK. And things had not been going well for Charles, performance wise. But then it started to rain, and he pulled it all together. It was dramatic and kind of perfect in a way that was vintage CNR.

    PARTY FAVORS: This film captures his final stage production. How was it emotionally for the crew when it came to being a part of such a moment?

    POLTERMANN: It was emotional but not especially so, in that nobody really felt this was a “final performance” or thought Charles was going to pass away soon. At the time it seemed emotional only to the degree that we had captured a piece of theater history. But the rarity of it… its specialness, really wasn’t apparent at that time. Nobody really even thought Charles was all that sick. He kept saying that he was sick and “it will all be over soon” and stuff like that, but everyone who knew him said, “Oh he’s always like this.”

    PARTY FAVORS: How much of a struggle was it for him to finish it?

    POLTERMANN: In retrospect I believe it was a big struggle. And he acted like it was a big struggle. But again, we didn’t take him at face value. Everyone who knew him well said he was a bit of a diva-hypochondriac and not to take his complaints all that seriously. So when he went on and did such an awesome show that final night it almost confirmed that he was fine. He’d be back. He’d say, “This is my last performance.” But I remember saying to him more than once that he’d be doing the show again soon, that nobody could keep him away from the stage. It turns out I was wrong on that one.

    PARTY FAVORS: Was it a sense of relief when you decided that the DVD would contain the long version of the performance? Or was it equally painful in the editing room to trim down the theatrical version? Had you edited down the 2001 videotape performance as a rough idea before filming him?

    POLTERMANN: I had never seen the 2001 version until we did the DVD. In fact, I cut it together myself for the DVD, which was the first time I saw it. We debated putting the long version on in its entirety, as… well, it’s really long! But in the end, it’s a great companion piece and a completely different experience watching it that the film version.

    I think that you really need to be a big CNR and / or theater fan to enjoy the long version. I get one of two reactions… some people say, “Good lord, I got 20 minutes into the video version and had to turn it off it was so meandering…” or “You really butchered a brilliant performance. How could you have left out X, Y &Z? I mean, I could watch Charles all night.” There really is no in-between.

    PARTY FAVORS: How much input did he have shortening the performance?

    POLTERMANN: Not much… although he knew ahead of time what we were intending to use based upon what we’d storyboarded. He did send over notes and ideas once he saw the cut, but they were mostly about what he wanted to put back in not what he wanted to take out!

    PARTY FAVORS: What part was the last to be spliced out?

    POLTERMANN: The last chunk that we removed (other than trims here and there) was a piece on Mae West. The Mae West stuff went on quite long originally and we trimmed it to a mere mention.

    PARTY FAVORS: Did you end up wondering what would have happened to Charles if his father had taken the job working for Disney?

    POLTERMANN: Actually I am embarrassed to say that I never did. Life is life… all those choices make the person and the story, and it is, as they say, written. I don’t usually spend a lot of time on those sort of ruminations.

    PARTY FAVORS: Are most people amazed to discover he had two different lives on each coast: On the West coast he was the outrageous comic personality. On the East coast he was the Tony winning stage performer/director?

    POLTERMANN: I think most people know him as “the Match Game guy” if they know him at all. Even worse, they usually say, “He was that guy on Hollywood Squares, right?” Even getting the credit he was least proud of wrong! So most people are amazed to know he had this background, yes. It goes from “Oh yeah, I remember that guy” to “WOW! Who would have thought.”

    PARTY FAVORS: Will anyone ever make a film about Charles, Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise? Or is that enough for a mini-series?

    POLTERMANN: Oh god I’d love to make that movie! Maybe a dramatization of the making of Cannonball Run II?

    PARTY FAVORS: What was it like to work with Dom on the commentary track?

    POLTERMANN: Two of our producers, John Murphy and Adrian Selkowitz, recorded that interview with Dom so I am sad to say I never actually met him. He was included via the miracle of editing.

    PARTY FAVORS: Did Burt want you to capture his one man show?

    POLTERMANN: If he did I would have to break my vow to never shoot another one man show!

    PARTY FAVORS: Did Charles tell any great stories about people thinking him and Brett Somers were secretly married?

    POLTERMANN: He really didn’t talk much about Match Game. If you brought up the topic he quickly either moved on or told you a story about how great Mark Goodson was to him or how talented Gene Rayburn was on Broadway. He didn’t gossip about Match Game. He honestly didn’t seem to feel it was an important part of his life and seemed confused as to why others did.

    PARTY FAVORS: Do you think that Charles’ profile has eclipsed Paul Lynde thanks to the fact that they destroyed most of the master tapes of Hollywood Squares?

    POLTERMANN: Interesting… do you think his profile has eclipsed Paul Lynde? Maybe. And I didn’t know that about Hollwyood Squares. That’s crazy. Think about what those Match Game reruns have made over the years. I think YouTube is being kind to Charles… if you mean keeping his memory alive. Not just Match Game but also Tonight Show clips, where he is always very funny. He’d probably hate that fact that the most watched clips are Match Game (I think he’d prefer that the Goldiggers skits were popular… him and Marty Feldman… those are as brilliant as The Goon Show and pretty much forgotten).

    PARTY FAVORS: Were the two rivals or good friends since they shared so many traits?

    POLTERMANN: Charles never said a bad word about anyone, but there are certain people he chose not to talk about, and Paul Lynde was one. He would say things like, “He was not a happy person” and leave it at that. I don’t think he liked him at all.

    PARTY FAVORS: When you were promoting the movie, did people confuse the two men?

    POLTERMANN: Yes, it was not uncommon for people to say “oh yeah, the guy from Hollywood Squares” when we said it was a film about Charles Nelson Reilly. It was very common.

    PARTY FAVORS: How did you and Frank Anderson end up directing the film?

    POLTERMANN: I really liked the idea of working with Frank on the film. I’ve known him for many years, we’ve done music videos together and commercials before. He writes music, does animation, shoots… and he loved CNR. So it was an easy choice and made working on the film a lot more fun. It seemed like such a crazy idea that I wanted someone to work with who thought it wasn’t so crazy, and Frank was it.

    PARTY FAVORS: Do you sense that in the future Life of Reilly will be performed by other actors like An Evening With Mark Twain? What actors do you think can tackle the role?

    POLTERMANN: Wow, these are interesting questions. I hadn’t thought of that. I edit a lot for my friend Chris Smith and we did a film last year called Collapse and we’ve talked about someone doing that as a one man show but I really think that only Charles could pull off The Life of Reilly. Maybe I am wrong. Who would be good in it? Maybe Rainn Wilson? He likes the movie a lot. That would be fun to see.

    PARTY FAVORS: What sort of age range have you found attracted to the film?

    POLTERMANN: While younger people really love the film, I must admit that the natural audience is older. Forty something and older. People who actually remember Charles, even if only vaguely.

    PARTY FAVORS: How do you feel with the responsibility of keeping his legacy alive?

    POLTERMANN: I love it. I couldn’t be happier. Charles deserves it. We used to joke when we were doing the film that we wanted to do for CNR what Rick Rubin did for Johnny Cash. We haven’t pulled that off, at least not yet… but follow CNR on Facebook/cnreilly or Twitter/cnr! We are doing our best to keep his legacy alive within social media.

    PARTY FAVORS: Do you think a guy like Charles Nelson Reilly could survive in today’s Hollywood where being slightly tipsy on TV turns into a week of headlines, Entertainment Tonight specials and cries for a trip to rehab?

    POLTERMANN: I don’t think that being tipsy is considered fun or funny in the way it was in the 70’s. I don’t see any Foster Brooks types out there entertaining us. Or Dean Martin’s. It’s too bad… I kind of miss that politically incorrect debauchery.

    PARTY FAVORS: What is the most powerful thing Charles told you that changed your outlook on life?

    POLTERMANN: Don’t be afraid to dream. As Charles says, get a bag. Just get a bag and drop a dream in it. You’ll be surprised to see what happens. That’s the power of Charles. Dream big, and make it happen.

    If you’re addicted to watching Match Game on GSN at 11 a.m. (EST), make sure you get the film. Life of Reilly can be bought at amazon on both DVD and Blu-ray. It’s also available for download at iTunes. Now let’s have Charles Nelson Reilly sing us out:

    DVD SHELF

    Mannix: The Fourth Season brings more private eye action from Joe Mannix (Mike Connors). The man takes the abuse for another 24 cases. “A Ticket to the Eclipse” has another of Joe’s Army buddies visiting. This time the guy turns out to be a mass murderer on a hot streak. The cops don’t want to deal it. Darren McGavin (A Christmas Story and Kolchak: The Night Stalker) guest stars as guess who. “The Other Game in Town” goes Vegas when a gambler with a major debt dies. Trouble comes when he’s spotted at his funeral. The guy’s widow wants this straightened out. How does Rich Little work his way into this mess? “Deja Vu” predicts Mannix’s demise with Sid Haig (Devil’s Rejects) being a key to the fatal fate. Did you know Mike Connors played basketball on UCLA? He used his Westwood connections to get Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Gail Goodrich in “A Day Filled with Shadows.” This boxset contains another amazing season from the best athletic TV P.I.

    Greek: Chapter Five, The Complete Third Season brings together the 20 episodes that aired on ABC Family. The series explores the members of the frats and sororities of Cyprus-Rhodes University. There’s plenty of relationship mischief as college life intersects with frat relationships. There’s lots of breaking ups and cheating. Rusty has to keep up his GPA or there will be no more Greek games for him. The big ugliness comes when the Gamma Psi house gets torched. Most old frat houses are amazing tinderboxes from all the hard liquor that’s soaked into the wood floors. Another frat gets pinned for the arson. Seems that somebody might be going from their junior year at CRU to their freshman year at the State Pen. If only frats were this cool, I would have thought about pledging instead of merely using them as free beer hot spot.

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature: Sci-Fi Classics gives a taste of the film icon’s directorial work from the late ’50s. Don’t think that this is a massive butt-numbing marathon. Each black and white film is barely over an hour long. The triple features runs shorter than a piece of Oscar bait. Attack of the Crab Monsters really has monstrous crabs. A military unit and scientists land on the island to investigate what happened to the pervious occupants running atomic tests. The new group get stranded on the desolate rock when things explode. They fear for their lives as the giant crab monsters emerge. The highlight is Russell Johnson as part of the team. That’s right, the Professor from Gilligan’s Island is stranded on a tropical island. On top of that, he’s put in charge of repairing the radio. He was typecasted before he made it to TV. And he has the same radio issues without Gilligan screwing things up.

    Not of This Earth brings a mysterious man to a doctor’s office in search of fresh blood. He’s not a vampire. He’s an alien with the ability to control people. He gets Nurse Nadine Storey (My Three Sons‘ Beverly Garland) to visit his house for frequent transfusions. He also gets his blood more directly from guests. He’s got an evil plot brewing. Nadine turns out to be humanity’s last hope. Corman regulars Dick Miller and Jonathan Haze get tangled in the intrigue.

    War of the Satellites rockets up the thrills. Something in space isn’t happy that we’re looking to launch a satellite into orbit. The United Nations isn’t backing down from these alien bullies. We’re going to put up that satellite with the help of Susan Cabot (The Wasp Woman) and Dick Miller. Don’t get confused wondering if Michel Fox is really Michael J. Fox. This isn’t quite as exciting as the previous two titles, but makes for good snuggling in the backrow of the Bijou. The boxset includes a fine tribute to Roger Corman featuring Peter Fonda, Joe Dante and others. The big treat is dozens of trailers from Roger Corman’s directorial career. Get a glimpse of his work from a diverse career that ended in the early ’70s when he went full time into production.

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Double Feature – Up From the Depths / Demon of Paradise is a twin bill about bad resorts in Hawaii. The joy to Roger Corman during this era is that he didn’t make cookie cutter remakes. He had people twist them up just enough so you didn’t think you were seeing the same film. These two movies are both about Hawaiian resorts that become attacked by prehistoric monsters, but they’re not the same aquatic beasts. Up From the Depths. unleashes a dino-shark from the sea floor after an earthquake. His first order of business is to eat a researcher. There’s more tasty treats since it’s high season at a resort run by a guy who looks like the lawyer on Scrubs. He thinks the carnage that washes ashore is chum from Sam Bottoms’ fishing boat. The star of Apocalypse Now gets off the boat mainly to con tourists. The hotel doesn’t want people to think there’s anything wrong. Ultimately the hotel owner comes up with a gimmick to keep the guests from fleeing – a fishing contest.

    Demon of Paradise is basically the same film except with enough alterations to make it look like a while new film. This time it’s locals fishing with dynamite that cause something wicked to escape from the bottom of the ocean. But instead of merely a fish, this is a reptileman ready to attack the posh hotel. People aren’t safe by just staying on the beach and watching the aqua-mayhem.

    This is a lower budget translation of the story. The resort looks rather rough like it was filmed at a Boy Scout camp after a typhoon. Strangely enough Demon was made in Hawaii while Depths was shot in the Philippines. There’s enough differences in the two films to make it a fun double feature. There is a Grindhouse Experience that allows you to feel like you’re getting a full show including old cinema clips with upcoming trailers.

    James Clavell’s Shogun takes us back to that glory time when network television dared to do big projects in the mini-series format. Over the course of five nights, NBC took us to Japan in the 17th Century in epic style. You know it’s epic since Orson Welles is the narrator. A Dutch ship with a English pilot (Richard Chamberlain) ends up being taken captive by the locals. He quickly learns that the Japanese aren’t tourist friendly. They don’t even like each other as one guy gets his head whacked off for not bowing right. However his biggest enemies on the island nation are Portuguese priests that are ticked off that their secret island has been exposed to a heretic. Chamberlain has a doomed romance with his female interpreter (no laughing). The big discovery isn’t Japan, but John Rhys-Davies. This is the first major role for a man who ought to have his own convention. The most shocking thing from the mini-series is the introduction of a golden shower on network TV. Chamberlain gets used as a urinal by one of the locals. The bonus features include a documentary about making the series, historical featurettes and a commentary from director Jerry London about making the 9 hour movie.

    Hot In Cleveland: Season One continues Betty White’s mega-hot streak in 2011. How did Betty White not get named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year? She made Facebook cool. She made Saturday Night Live funny. She made me buy a Snickers bar. She elevated this TVLand original sitcom to hit status. The show has three former sitcom starlettes (One Day at a Time‘s Valerie Bertinelli, Frasier‘s Jane Leeves and Just Shoot Me‘s Wendie Malick) get stuck in Cleveland when their flight to Paris gets diverted. Why do they stay in the Mistake on the Lake? Cause the guys appreciate their hotness. Plus it’s much cheaper than France without so much ass pinching. Betty White is the caretaker of the large house they rent. She’s the swizzle stick that stirs the Metamucil. Over the course of 10 episodes, the trio lose their vapid Hollywood ways thank to Betty. Shocking to think that she’s about to turn 89 and still has the comedic flair of her time on Match Game ’75. The series is starting its second season on TVLand this month.

  • Party Favors: The 2010 MEH Awards

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    PASADENA – Forget the AFI Top 10 list of Best TV shows. Why should care about TV since they are the American Film Institute? This is kind like the American Diabetic Prevention Society’s Top 10 Favorite Sugary Candy Bars list. Or Bravo’s Top 10 Hunting Shows. Or MADD’s Best 10 Drinks to Mess You Up. Or Charlie Sheen’s Top 10 Things You Can Do Without Involving Hookers and Blow. If they care about TV that much, shouldn’t they be the AFTVI? But they are a pack of List Whores over at AFI with their 100 Years a 100 Stupid Lists press releases.

    Why does critic or critic group have to tell you the Best or Worst of the Year? Party Favors is proud to announce the MEH Awards for the 10 TV shows that didn’t work for me in 2010. They weren’t the most pathetic things on TV, but made me lose interest in watching them.

    TENTH: Glee – I wanted to like this show so I can stay hip with the kids. But it’s about a bunch of post graduate students stuck in high school making pop songs safe for grandma. The Rocky Horror tribute show was so bland enough for Up With People to adopt.

    NINTH: Sarah Palin’s Alaska – it’s a fishing show.

    EIGHTH: Terriers – I should have liked this more, but the whole dog thing was annoying. I’m holding out for Donal Logue to have an affair with his old wife on Rules of Engagement.

    SEVENTH: NFL Network – do we really need this much football in our life? I can understand the MLB Network since the season is longer and every day has games. Pro football is Sunday only in my house. Can’t the NFL get complete coverage with a daily 30 minute segment on ESPN? The off-season programming is painful at best including their 12 part series on punters overcoming the stigma of athlete’s foot.

    SIXTH: Modern Family – Lenny and Squiggy were more affectionate to each other than the gay couple on this show.

    FIFTH: George Lucas’s Live Action Star Wars Series – Already bored of it and I haven’t seen it. But I still have the shakes from The Star Wars Holiday Special.

    FOURTH: Boardwalk Empire – Great cast. Great subject. Meh execution. It was like they wanted to outdo The Untouchables, but couldn’t touch the genius of Robert Stack. Maybe this was a case of too many executive producers and not enough visionaries.

    THIRD: Sons of Anarchy – this season was 13 episodes that could have been done in a two hour special. Every time I flipped over, it was more of the “gimme back my baby” trip to Northern Ireland. If I want to see a grown man cry, I’ll turn on C-SPAN for the John Boehner Happy Hour.

    RUNNER UP: Bored to Death – the show lived up to its name. Remember when New York artists were exciting and not completely a pack of self centered douchebags? Neither do I, but it might have happened. Noel Coward left more entertaining turds in Broadway bathrooms than this HBummer-O. Bed bugs were not the most annoying thing to invade Manhattan.

    WINNER: Pacific – I watched 20 minutes and just gave up on it. I didn’t even feel tempted to catch up on HBO OnDemand. Maybe it didn’t help that high school history class spoiled the ending.

    Normally I’d be sending these shows their MEH trophies, but why bother?

    BEST MOVIE CAST

    I’m not going to name the best films of 2010 until they all get on Netflix. But I’m willing to say that all Best Ensemble cast awards should go to Human Centipede. If you’re watching an award show that doesn’t give the trio credit – turn the channel.

    CINEMA OVERDRIVE

    For a few years now I’ve been jealous of the folks in Texas since they can enjoy the various Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas. Sure Texans have to put up with a governor that hates being a part of America, but they can watch cool old films while getting drunk and polishing their guns. Luckily there’s no more Texan temptation since Cinema Overdrive has parked itself at the Colony Theater in Raleigh, North Carolina.

    Every month (and sometimes more) Matt Pennachi and Adam Hulin dig up an addicting title from the vault. These is all the good flicks that moron professors at film studies programs ignore. Recent movies included Demons, The Candy Snatchers, Lightning Swords of Death and Chuck Norris’ Missing In Action 2: The Beginning. There are classics shown such as Halloween, Evil Dead and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. For Christmas they played Silent Night, Deadly Night and the last two reels of Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. The first three reels are flashbacks to the first film so nothing was really missed. The last 2 reels have the murdering rampage including “Garbage Day!” Trailers selected for before and after the features reflect the genre. Plus there’s local brews on tap including Big Boss. It’s a fab night out for celluloid geeking. These are 35mm prints and not “digital video” projections.

    What makes the series extra cool is the promotional posters. They’re limited edition prints. The artists don’t merely ape their favorite designs of the past asking “What if Saul Bass rose from the grave?” Nor do they play off the old posters. They look beyond the images that have been watered down by focus groups that end up at the Cineplex. They don’t restrain their vision to make normal posters. For Rock and Roll High School, Rob Liberti screen printed the images of the Ramones and P.J. Soles onto the vinyl of used Beethoven records. Danny Miller captured Ash and Leatherface onto huge baseball cards. Travis Getz transformed Missing In Action 2 into a cross between a comic book and a videogame cartridge.

    Here’s video of CK getting a tube full of goodies.

    The one that complete blew me away was James Rheem Davis’ Silent Night, Deadly Night 1.4 that’s as controversial as the movie. I won’t even describe it. Just click on the link and take in the grotesque beauty. You’re going to wish you could have this hanging up at your company Christmas party. It has fun with Leonard Maltin and Gene Siskel’s outraged quotes.

    http://www.cinemaoverdrive.net/merch/

    Even if you don’t live in the Raleigh-Durham area in North Carolina, you might want to order these up for your movie room. Act fast because they are limited prints. We won’t talk about how much these might increase in value, but they appear to be the Franklin Mint of movie posters. Remember that during the Robot Holocaust, you should be able to get plenty of petrol and women for Silent Night, Deadly Night 1.4.

    A SLICE OF LIFE

    If you’re in the Raleigh area, make sure you visit the Big Boss Brewery’s bar on the weekend. Lately on Friday and Saturday night, the Klausie’s food truck has been selling my favorite pizza in the area. It’s a deep dish style with a tasty dough.

    In case you’re in Raleigh during the week, you can discover the location of the Klausie’s food truck at: http://www.klausies.com/

    FAST GIFTS

    As zero hour arrives, you might want a few quick gift ideas to grab at the mall that don’t involve the Snuggie or a few buds of salvia. Two of my normal yearly gifts have no entries. Why did they have to stop the Disney Treasures and Looney Tunes Golden Collection series?

    Thankfully one keeps up the seasonal joy: The Complete Peanuts Boxed Set 1975 – 1978 (Vol. 13-14) should be at your nearby bookstore. This is the time that Snoopy got sucked into the disco life. Charlie Brown sports wider stripes during this era. Like all Studio 54 action, there’s plenty of sexual exploration courtesy of Peppermint Patty.

    You can make it a Garry Shandling holiday season with both of his legendary pay channel shows finally out on complete boxsets. It’s Garry Shandling’s Show: The Complete Series has all four seasons that ran on Showtime and Fox. Garry creates a fake world within his studio reality. There’s a touch of Dada humor such as the time he goes to Hollywood to see the taping of his own show. The Larry Sanders Show: The Complete Series ended years of frustration for me. Over seven years ago they put out the first season and was only followed up with a greatest hits of the last five seasons. Now you can get all the goodness in one box. The show gave us a strange insight into why Garry Shandling let Jay Leno take the Tonight Show desk from Johnny Carson.

    Max Headroom: The Complete Series collects the show that truly bit network TV’s hand. Benny Hill: The Complete Megaset – The Thames Years 1969 – 1989 is all the Yakety Sax you’ll ever crave.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, The Rolling Stones finally legally came out. This is their best concert film that doesn’t feature a body count or buyer’s remorse. This is a pure concert film from their “Exile on Main Street” tour in 1972. The highlight of the film is getting to see how much guitarist Mick Taylor brought to their sound. He contributed the long blues licks. The Blu-ray brings out the detail in how little he moved on stage. He makes Billy Wyman look active. But close your eyes to truly experience what he does to “Gimme Shelter.” If you’ve got a buddy that loves the Stones – this is the gift they better be getting. The price is reasonable especially compared to what bootleggers used to demand for a VHS.

    MARRIED TO STONED

    The saddest show on TV is E!’s Married to Rock. Ever wonder what happened to the guys from Guns ‘n’ Roses, The Cult, Jane’s Addiction and Billy Idol? Now you must pay a price for your curiosity. It ain’t pretty as they do their hardest to extend their nostalgia based career. They all dream that the world stopped turning in 1987. They so badly want to look like that themselves from the MTV video. Most of their conversations involve wishing Hot Tub Time Machine was real. But this series isn’t about them. They’ve been dragged onto E! by their ladies.

    What’s shocking is how their wives look like expert advisors on RuPaul’s Drag Show. Steve Stevens’ wife’s breast job hurts my eyes. They can explode at any moment.

    The saddest moment is when Perry Farrell’s wife rode his ass with her suspicion that he’s eyeing another woman. And he took it. He didn’t look at her and say, “I’m Perry Ferrell! I’m not Pat Boone.” I can understand the rock star giving up the pills and booze. That stuff works against you. The carnal debauchery can’t stop. You might want to first send the groupies to a doctor to make sure they have VD clinic give them a seal of approval. Although odds are if you survived backstage in the ’80s, you’re immune to everything except split ends. Watching Perry get his balls yanked by his wife for the sake of a TV series nearly made me cry. Odds are high it made Trent Reznor laugh.

    After watching this show, it’s easy to understand the positive side of rock stars taking their lives. Maybe those dead idols glimpsed their future of being a whipped Dorian Gray with a wife addicted to Hello Kitty crap and decided to blow their brains out? Gone to soon or checked out in the nick of time?

    PLEASE GIVE

    Remember this holiday season to keep up donations to the Party Favors Lengthwise Fold Club. During this time, people forget about the artists – especially those that specialize in dancing on an intimate level. They have to pay for next semester’s tuition at med school. Take time off from your family activities and reward those who purse the perfect gyration by donating directly to their effort at an intimate dance club in your local combat zone.

    Thanks to evil people at the Center For Disease Control, the Party Favors Porn for the Impoverished Project has been stopped. Seems there was a misinterpretation to the words: Slightly used magazine. It’s a shame the people in third world countries won’t be able to enjoy the bliss of Barely Legal and Juggs.

    STEWART RAHR CYBER DOUCHEBAG

    The worst charity donation of the year happened when billionaire Stewart Rahr gave half a million dollars so Kim Kardashian can Twitter. In case you’re wondering, Stewart Rahr is a douchebag. The internet was smarter when Kim Kardashian maintained radio silence. Now it is ruined. If Stewart Rahr pledges to donate a million dollars through the Lengthwise Fold Club, I won’t call him a douchebag in this column ever again. Otherwise this will a constant feature.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Derailed: Unrated Version – Blu-ray reminds us about the necessity of good hotel room security. Clive Owen is a guy on a commuter train that’s got issues with his wife and ill daughter. He gets a little relief when he hooks up with fellow traveller Jennifer Aniston. She’s hot for Owen and their night out ends up at a cheap motel for a nasty hook up. Since this isn’t a porn film, there’s got to be trouble. In this case it’s Vincent Cassel busting into the room. He roughs them up, but lets them go. However he senses there’s no reason to let the crime end at the check out. He contacts Owen for a little blackmail action. Owen wants to put an end to it, but it turns into an East Coast – West Coast Rap Feud involving Xzibit and RZA. This is my second favorite Jennifer Aniston movie after Office Space. The reminder of her cinema career is a three-way for last. The 1080p image brings out the detail in Aniston’s hair.

    Harsh Times – Blu-ray is Christian Bale going all badass. He’s an ex-Army Ranger who is having issues getting back to the real world. His only pal is Freddy Rodriguesz (Six Feet Under). The two are extremely toxic together. Freddy’s wife (Eva Longoria) doesn’t like what Bale does to her hubby. Bale is all up for a hard night of partying with booze, drugs and trouble in the greater Los Angeles area. This is kinda the precursor to his brother character in The Fighter. Except he doesn’t have Marky Mark to redeem his soul. He’s hell bent on destruction. The bonus features include a commentary track from director David Ayer and deleted scenes. Bale looks stunning in Hi-Def when he gets messed up. Ayers wrote the script for Training Day.

    DVD SHELF

    Disciples of the 36th Chamber is the third and final installment in San Te (Gordon Liu) Shaw Brothers series. This time the pupil is now the teacher at the Shaolin Temple. Fong Sai-Yuk (Hsiao Ho) is a student confident in his mad martial arts skills. He thinks he’s too cool for school. He gets into a bit of ugliness with the Manchu overlord. His mom has him hidden at the Temple. He’s still a pain in the ass for even San Te. It looks like the kid will be the downfall of all if he doesn’t straighten up. There’s a lot of great group fights with the various factions going all foot and fist. While Liu isn’t the true star, he make excellent use of his time. There’s a commentary track from Bey Logan, author of Hong Kong Action Cinema – my favorite book on the glory days.

    Annie’s Point is a sweet TV movie that has found life on DVD thanks to the Betty White-mania. Annie Eason (White) has been recently been widowed. Her son (The Waltons‘ Richard Thomas) wants toss her into a retirement home. But she’s not willing to go quietly to the rest stop to the funeral home. She’s got a mission to complete with her granddaughter (8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter‘s Amy Davidson). Her late husband’s ashes must be spread at Annie’s Point. They make a slight detour in Las Vegas cause the lady needs her glitz and gambling. This piece of land was named after her by the guy. Betty is able to flex her muscle as the twisted grandmother and the sentimental wife. This is one of those tender films that could go to your relative that is addicted to The Golden Girls.

    Gunsmoke: The Fourth Season, Volume 2 is more of the half hour black and white episodes. “Jayhawkers” has a weird twist with Ken Curtis playing a non-Festus character. It involves those folks from Kansas that call themselves Jayhawkers. This is why they’re a school mascot. “The Bear” has Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) getting framed for murder before his wedding day. Russell Johnson (The Professor on Gilligan’s Island) gets to go cowboy. “The F.U.” shoots down Joe Flynn (McHale’s Navy) on the streets of Dodge. Everyone thinks it happened because of a Poker game. “Print Asper” lets Ted Knight (Mary Tyler Moore‘s Ted Baxter) be an evil lawyer working to swipe a ranch. He has no limit to his scheming. It’s 20 episodes that get Marshal Dillon (James Arness) and Chester (McCloud‘s Dennis Weaver) in trouble. The bonus feature is the original cast ads that ran this season.

    Hawaii Five-O: The Tenth Season is the big farewell to Chin Ho Kelly (Kam Fong). Unlike previous Five-O members that just vanished like Kono and Ben, Chin Ho gets an emotional exit from the series. “A Short Walk on the Longshore” makes McGarrett get into disguise to work the docks to expose a murderer. Jack Lord always looks so funny when he’s not wearing the blue suit. “Tall on the Wave” gives another glimpse that Danno (James MacArthur) has a life outside of McGarrett’s office. He is qualified to judge surfing competitions. During one invitational, a body turns up and it’s Danno’s friend that’s the prime suspect. “Frozen Assets” has Rat Packer Peter Lawford involved in cryogenics. “Deep Cover” gives us Geoffrey Lewis, the man who isn’t Robert Pine and Maud Adams (Octopussy). “Deadly Doubles” Kurt Russell in a Russian tennis star defection plot. McGarrett’s got to keep it from getting ugly. Only two more season till all the Jack Lord-era episodes are out on DVD.

    The Andy Griffith Show: 50th Anniversary – The Best of Mayberry collects 17 of the most beloved episodes. Sheriff Andy Taylor and his “The Pickle Story” tells us about how Aunt Bee wasn’t the original Paula Dean. Her abilities in the kitchen were rather iffy. “Convicts At Large” presents the greatest case of Deputy Barney Fife (Don Knotts). He’s got to use all his cunning and charm to stop escapees. Ernest T. Bass crashes “Mountain Wedding.” The cute Darling daughter wants to get hitched, but Bass knows he’s the real man for her. He’s going to throw a brick through her heart to prove it. “Citizen’s Arrest” pits Barney against Gomer Pyle (Jim Nabors). The big bonus feature is the beginning and the end of the series. There’s the original Danny Thomas Show where Andy busts the nightclub comic. Andy’s a bit of schemer at this point. There’s also the TV movie Return to Mayberry. If you swear you can name 25 episodes you hold more dearly, maybe you should just spring for the Complete Series boxset. The 50th Anniversary boxset is a great gift for your relatives that like sweet southern treats.

    Space Precinct: The Complete Series is another intergalactic entry from Gerry Anderson (Space 1999 & Thunderbirds). A NYPD cop (Knots Landing‘s Ted Shackelford) launches himself onto a bigger beat in 2040. He’s part of the law enforcement in a new city on another planet in a distant solar system. The show combines science fiction with normal police work. Amazing how many types of lifeforms are outlaws. The show reminds me of a cross between Quark, Men In Black and Max Headroom with Dragnet and Adam-12. Anderson’s effects crew do a fine job at mixing the cops with rockets. The production doesn’t look cheap. They mess around with various cop show cliches except now they’re not limited to human forms. The boxset has all 24 episodes that aired in the mid-90s.

  • Party Favors: Gravy On Top

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    OAKLAND — Just in time for the holiday season, the Gravy has arrived.

    Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie opens up in various theaters across America at the start of December. Wavy Gravy is an icon with an ever changing career. He’s gone from the legendary Merry Pranksters to the head of security at the original Woodstock to running a respected charity and finally achieving international greatness as a flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. The many facets of his life are covered in the documentary directed by Michelle Esrick.

    We had a chance to sit down for an extensive interview with Wavy Gravy and Michelle Esrick when the movie premiered at 2009’s Full Frame Documentary Film Festival.

    This first part has him discuss getting drunk with Jack Kerouac (On the Road) and dropping acid at the Electric Acid Kool-Aid Tests. Ahhh good times.

    Now we get the inside scoop on what happened to Ben and Jerry’s Wavy Gravy ice cream. He also issues a challenge to Stephen Colbert for when his next Wavy Gravy frozen treat is released.

    Finally we wrap up with Woodstock memories. Wavy gets a bit upset when talking about what Fred Durst did to the festival’s good name. Remember Fred Durst? Think he needs two forms of ID to buy a red baseball cap with a debit card? Also the inside scoop on whether Meatloaf hangs with Wavy Gravy.

    For readers living in the San Francisco Bay area, Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie will be playing at Red Vic Movie House and Landmark Shattuck Cinemas from Dec. 3 to 9. There’s a special one night screening at the Smith Rafael Film Center on Dec. 5. New Yorkers can catch the documentary at the IFC Center from Dec. 8 – 14. Wavy returns to Woodstock at the Upstate Films Woodstock on Dec. 11. Wavy Gravy and the filmmakers will be appearing at various screenings so call over if you want to meet the man and glimpse his life. He might be giving out red clown noses.

    HOUSE PARTY

    Damn you, Daryl Hall!

    Darryl Hall falls in the elite group of artists that I so badly want to hate, but I can’t spite.

    The images of him and John Oates in those dopey ’80s videos haunt me in my sleep. Too many days have Hall & Oates’ “Maneater” been stuck in my head during work? He was such an easy target to mock with his big blond hair and Oates’ mustache. But Hall wasn’t a complete painful sellout schlockmeister. He wasn’t merely a creation of a record executive using market research to create a Johnny Bravo. He did weird stuff that made him not merely a product. He picked Robert Fripp to produce his first solo album. His blue eyed soul had depth. His peers complain about how MTV has abandoned them in their pursuit of making superstars out of pregnant 16 year old girls. Hall created his perfect idea of Music Television on the internet.

    Live At Daryl’s House is the greatest music show on TV. Except you have to watch it on the web (http://www.livefromdarylshouse.com), The premise is so simple: Daryl invites people over to his massive country house to jam with his band and enjoy good food. There’s also plenty of trips to his wine cellar. It’s a good time for all. The music shines. This is the next step above David Sanbourn’s old music show that aired on NBC.

    But let’s not type too much about the show. Here’s an utterly gleaming moment with Todd Rundgren (producer of an early Hall & Oates record).

    You’re not going to feel that much emotion from those brats on American Idol. These are professionals pushing their songs into new spaces. This isn’t just Daryl jamming with old pals. He invites all sorts of folks over to the house. Here’s electrofunk Chromeo twisting the knobs around “Family Man.”

    Go on the site and watch them do “I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do).” It will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day and lead you to dancing around the kitchen. This led to Hall and Chromeo reteaming at last year’s Bonnaroo. Although some stupid programmer stuck them against the Flaming Lips on the main stage. Who does that?

    The show’s breakout star was Hall & Oates’ sideman T-Bone Wolk. We finally saw how much he contributed to the duo’s sound. Even though he played the bassist in the ’80s videos, his guitar playing shined on the internet. Sadly T-Bone passed away earlier this year.

    Daryl’s continuing the show with recent episodes featuring Neon Trees and Sharon Jones with some Dap-Kings. This is the best guest gig for any musician who doesn’t mind reworking “Maneater.” Not that you have to select songs from the Hall & Oates songbook. But it’s more fun. My suggestions for upcoming guests to the house would be Robert Fripp, Bob Mould, Martha Wash, They Might Be Giants, Feist and Gary Numan. This might be the way to bring Evan Dando back to the land of the living.

    There is joy in these informal jam sessions that reminds us that music can do special things on video. This isn’t a crummy autotune or lipsync performance overridden with back up dancers and pyro for an Award Show. It’s about the joy of music. Watching so many of these shows, the immediate instinct is that Daryl and his guests need to go on the road. Why isn’t Todd and Darryl coming to your town? But watching them on the internet is probably more fun than dealing with a drunk yelling, “Do Maneater!” for two hours.

    Ultimately this is the perfect format for Daryl instead of letting this show appear on VH1Classic or A&E where some idiot producer will demand nonsense edits and fake drama. It’s almost like getting to hang out at the house with Daryl and his guests. We sit at the table gathering snippets of the lunch conversation. We appreciate the music. The only thing that Daryl can’t share through the internet is a case of wine so you can truly be one with the action. I don’t think they’re drinking Charles Shaw.

    CORMAN CORNER

    Shout! Factory’s continues the award-winning Roger Corman’s Cult Classics with a duo of double features that let good ladies go bad with guns. Thrill to the strangeness of seeing the TV stars of Police Woman, Phyllis and The Hardy Boys / Nancy Drew Mysteries go outlaw on the big screen.

    Big Bad Mama / Big Bad Mama II puts Angie Dickinson (Police Woman) on the wrong side of the law in Prohibition days. She’s a simple wife of a bootlegger when a misfortune forces her to take over her husband’s business. She learns that illegal booze isn’t so profitable. In order to make money fast, she gets into the bank robbing business. It’s cash and carry. She’s a quick study from hold up artist Tom Skerritt (Alien). With her two daughters, they make a legendary team. Things get even more exciting when William Shatner (Star Trek) beams down. She and Captain Kirk get frisky. They’ve got a grand plan to make even more than cash than knocking off the First National Bank of Podunk. They’re going to kidnap rich kids. Angie doesn’t merely pick up a gun for the role, but loses her dress in a couple scenes. This film earned it’s R-rating. Forget what you see at the end of Big Bad Mama since it doesn’t really matter in Big Band Mama II. This time she’s got a vendetta for evil fatcat Bruce Glover (Diamonds Are Forever) that’s screwing the working class. Her daughters are hotter this time with Danielle Brisebois (All in the Family) and Julie McCullough (Miss Feb. 1986 in Playboy and Growing Pains). Robert Culp (I Spy) is a journalist who tags along for the thrill ride of his life. The sequel was made nearly a dozen years after the first, but Angie’s still America’s Most Wanted MILF. This double feature is the proper way to appreciate the talents of Angie Dickinson. All the bonus features from previous DVD releases have been brought over including an audio commentary with Big Bad Mama II director Jim Wynorski. He was recently interviewed in the Party Favors for his work on Not of This Earth with Traci Lords.

    Crazy Mama / The Lady in Red gives us a taste of the early work of Jonathan Demme (Silence of the Lambs) and John Sayles (Brother From Another Planet). Instead of doing a direct sequel to Big Bad Mama (since Angie Dickinson was doing Police Woman), Corman’s studio decided to bring on the insanity with Cloris Leachman (Phyllis on The Mary Tyler Moore Show) as Crazy Mama. She’s a frustrated widow with a failing business in the ’50s. When things go bad, she hooks up with Stuart Whitman for a cross country crime spree. Joining in on the fun is Ann Sothern (The Lucy Show) and Donny Most (Happy Days). It’s Ralph Malph gone wild! Jim Backus (Mr. Howell from Gilligan’s Island) gets caught up in the weirdness. Demme directs this film with a joyful eye that pokes fun at the time with a happening soundtrack. The bonus features include a videotaped chat with Corman and Demme along with their audio commentary. So you’re not scared; there are no nude scenes involving Cloris or Donny Most.

    There’s plenty of flesh for former TV sweetheart Pamela Sue Martin in The Lady In Red. She had just bolted from playing Nancy Drew when she completely changed her good girl image in 93 minutes. She’s the woman who finked out John Dillinger to the feds. Her life starts innocent, but turns tawdry as she gets involved with prostitution, female prison guards, gangsters and rich folks. John Sayles’ script has her going through a lot of changes from her life on the farm. She knows how to attract trouble with Christopher Lloyd (Taxi and Back to the Future) and Robert Forster (Jackie Brown) learning about her talents. Later she hooks up with Dillinger (Wild Wild West‘s Robert Conrad). Martin isn’t close to her snoopy clean teen role. I can’t embed the original trailer since it’s extremely not workplace safe, but you can take a peek via the link:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7elNfBSYo4

    Audio commentaries include Forster and Sayles. These are another two solid double features from the vaults of Roger Corman’s glory days. They are four twisted views of Americana when mom and sweet daughters weren’t all about making apple pies, but pumping lead.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Hard Boiled is John Woo’s last great movie. It was his final flick before he left Hong Kong to work on a series of barely forgettable films including a failed TV remake of Lost In Space. We used to joke that after wrapping up post-production of Hard Boiled, John died of an infection from a papercut and his brother Don Woo flew to America recycle his brother’s highlight moments from his earlier films. Even after nearly two decades, Hard Boiled is still an exciting ballistic ballet. Chow Yun-Fat is a super cop out to bust a gangster’s gun smuggling operation. His only hope is getting a deep cover agent (Tony Leung) to reveal the hidden storage base. The bullets fly fast and furious during numerous shoot outs. The Blu-ray image looks better than the transfer used on the various Criterion Collection editions. Things pop in the frame even when they aren’t shot. Hard Boiled remains the peak of Hong Kong action in the ’90s. The trailer is more exciting than the flicks being chummed in your local cineplex. This is worth the upgrade to shatter your HDTV glass.

    The Matador is Pierce Brosnan’s best James Bond film. While he doesn’t play 007 properly, it’s hard to think otherwise of the Julian Noble character as anyone else. This is his gutty, gritty take on a man with a license to kill. He’s not quite as flashy as the traditional Bond. He bumps into Greg Kinnear (Auto Focus) while in Mexico. Greg proves to be a great patsy. But when his career hits a bump, Pierce must rely on Greg for the most vital hit of his career. After a decreasing satisfaction with his Bond output, The Matador is a revelation that it wasn’t Pierce’s fault that his time in the tuxedo turned mediocre. He understood how to put an edge on the icon. For anyone who is eagerly awaiting the final batch of 007 films to hit Blu-ray, I highly recommend snagging this Blu-ray. The 1080p action brings out the Mexico City locations. Bonus features include a commentary track with Greg and Pierce, plenty of snipped scenes and a behind the scenes documentary.

    Sondheim! The Birthday Concert pays tribute to one of the musical masters of Broadway. Dozens of the theater’s biggest names gathered together for the celebration. Bernadette Peters (The Jerk), Mandy Patinkin (Princess Bride), Joanna Gleason and David Hyde Pierce (Fraizer) lend their voices to remind us of Sondheim’s great moments from In the Woods, Sweeny Todd, West Side Story and Sunday in the Park with George. I prefer the Sweeny Todd tunes. While normally the point of getting a Blu-ray is the picture, this presentation is all about listening to the music on DTS-HD Master Audio. Find a perfect place between the speakers to park your ears. This is a great holiday gift for the musical theater buff on your list.

    DVD SHELF

    Hannah Montana Forever: Who Is Hannah Montana? reminds us that Miley Cyrus has turned 18 and can no longer hide behind her disguise as a secret pop star. This DVD collection contains eight episodes that deal with the times Miley had to expose her secret to a friend and ultimately the world. “I’ll Always Remember You” has Miley tempted to reveal her identity on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The humor in this situation is the average Jay Leno viewer already asleep after the monologue so nobody is actually watching the show. She should have gone on the Colbert Report. The other six episodes include the pilot, “De-Do-Do-Do, Da-Don’t-Don’t-Don’t Tell My Secret!” and “Miley Get Your Gum.” There’s a tribute to her daddy’s big hit with “Achy Jakey Heart.” Strange to think that after all these years, Hannah Montana is finally hanging up her wig as Miley attempts to become an adult singer. What is Billy Ray Cyrus going to do with all his free time? The big bonus is a sneak peek at Ashley Tisdale’s Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure! Why does that sound like a new Bravo series? Hannah Montana Forever: Who Is Hannah Montana should make a fine distraction video when relative’s little kids drop by the house this holiday season.

    Iron Man – Extremis is another motion comic from Marvel Knights. They’ve animated that various panels from the original comic that was written by Warren Ellis and illustrated by Adi Granov. The story is about Tony Stark learning the hideous secret of Super-Soldier Serum that uses nanotechnology. The new research can turn any man into a superman. Tony learns the hard way when a guinea pig tears the crap out of him. His only chance at living is to take the formula. This creates an all never version of Iron Man. I liked this much better than the non-Mickey Rourke parts of Iron Man 2. They’ve come up with a great way to upgrade lip movement on the characters using a CGI version of Clutch Cargo mouths. This is a superior comicbook series for Iron Man since it also establishes how Tony Star became a super hero so folks new to him aren’t completely left wondering how this all started. It’s a great way to “read” a comic book without having your nerd pal geek out that you’re smudging the pages.

    Have Gun – Will Travel: The Fifth Season, Volume One reminds us that if you have to party with one figure of the Wild West, let it be Paladin (Richard Boone). He was one suave guy. He stayed at a swanky hotel in San Francisco, enjoyed the finer things in life and didn’t mind killing Charles Bronson (Death Wish). Actually in the 19 episodes here, Bronson plays a pushover and a badass. “A Proof of Love” has Bronson hire Paladin to teach him how to shoot. Turns out his mail-order bride was forwarded to George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke). He’s determined to use a gun to get Kennedy to cough up his woman or pay him back his investment. Paladin needs to clean this up. Bronson’s next visit is all shooting as ” Ben Jalisco.” He’s escaped from prison and is gunning for his ex-wife who tipped off Paladin years ago. Paladin wants to protect the wife. Bronson has killed over 30 men as a bounty hunter who doesn’t care for the “or alive” clause on wanted posters. He won’t mind being a self-made widower. This is an intense episode. “Lazarus” should be a delight for fans of Sam Peckinpah films. Strother Martin gets told he’s only a day to live. So he decides to take out the town bully. What’s he got to lose? Plenty when he discovers he’s not going to die and L.Q. Jones wants revenge for his brother. Paladin has to clean up the ugliness for a price.

    The Lucy Show: The Official Third Season brings to an end the regular adventures of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance. The comedy duo had been together for over a decade starting with I Love Lucy. While Viv guested on the later three seasons and Here’s Lucy, it’s kinda sad to think they were no longer TV neighbors. They have this final season for each other and before all their TV kids get the boot. The show would focus on a single Lucy and Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon). “Lucy and the Plumber” packs in the star power when Jack Benny and Bob Hope arrive to tweak her pipes. “Lucy and the Bank Robbery” has them renting a room to what they think are Wold’s Fair tourists. “Lucy Meets Danny Kaye” has her begging the entertainer for tickets to his show. Turns out they have to work as extras to get into the taping. Can Lucy merely be a dress extra? “Lucy Goes to Vegas” has her and Viv fake being high rollers in order to get casino comp action. The charade falls apart when they have to put the money down on the felt table. “Lucy and the Monsters” has her come face to face with future scary actor Sid Haig (Devil’s Rejects). He gets wrapped up as mummy to frighten her. Bob Burns (The Ghost Busters) plays the Werewolf instead of his normal gorilla role. Towards the end of the season we’re treated to a visit from Countess Framboise (Ann Sothern). She’s kind of a royal Viv. “Lucy the Disc Jockey” has her wreck a radio station run by Pa Harrington Jr. (One Day at a Time). This would be the final regular Viv episode. Along with cast commercials, a major bonus feature involves Lucy at the World’s Fair. Without Viv, Lucy had no real compatriot in the insanity.

    Bonanza: The Official Second Season, Volume 1 gives 18 more episodes about the Cartwright Family that lived next to Lake Tahoe. This is still the time of Ben (Lorne Greene) and his sons by different wives: Hoss (Dan Blocker), Adam (Pernell Roberts) and Little Joe (Michael Landon). They were a tight and scrapping family. “Showdown” has the family hiring a member of a bank robbing gang for the Ponderosa ranch. This was before you could do a background check on the internet. “The Mission” introduces an old army scout ready to dry himself off the booze to get a good job. Turns out he became a drunk after he led his old unit into a massacre. What he doesn’t know about the new job is that an old scout plans on ambushing them. That’s enough to get me drinking. “Badge Without Honor” brings back the legendary James Hong (Kung Fu Panda) as Hop Sing’s cousin. “The Mill” brings back everyone’s favorite heavy Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) being a manipulating ranch hand who wants his dumb boss’ money and wife. You’ll wake up the wife and kids for “Denver McKee” to thrill at Bob Barker (The Price Is Right being a thespian. Sexy returns with Ricardo Montalban (Fantasy Island) as an Indian. The sinister Neville Brand (The Untouchables) arrives with his Commancheros to take Little Joe hostage. He doesn’t realize they’re kin. “The Ape” reminds us of Leonard Nimoy’s life before the pointy ears. Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and the Ugly) arrives as a gunmen hired to take out the Cartwrights in “The Bloodline.” “The Bride” gets conned by Adam West (Batman) into thinking she’s married Ben. Who knew he could be so wicked? Bonus features include a vintage interview with Dan Blocker, old TV promos and audio commentaries including one with Stella Stevens. Each episode gets background information and production photos. This is a good way to keep your dad busy on the sofa one a weekend afternoon.

    VEGA$: The Second Season, Volume 1 continues the fun on my favorite cheesy private eye show of all time. This is the perfect blend of ’70s kitsch with Dan Tanna (Robert Urich) cruising around the Vegas Strip in his Thunderbird talking on a primitive car phone. There’s tons of great guest stars who sneak off their casino gigs for a little face time. Tanna has a thrilling support crew with Phyllis Davis, Bart Braverman and Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) along with visits from Tony Curtis. Takes a lot of work to solve a crime in Sin City. “Redhanded” reveals a sad fate for Melanie Griffith (Something Wild) and a cameo from Lola Falana. “The Usurper” presents the superstars of Minnesota Fats, Dean Martin and Scatman Crothers. “Mixed Blessings” is touched by Tracy Walter (Repo Man). Hef’s old squeeze Barbi Benton acts against Eve Arden in “Design for Death.” Swimsuit models are being terrorized around the hotel. Tanna must stop the creep. Shelley Winters and Fred Bilennikoff score on “Macho Murders.” What a sexy homicide title. “The Day Gambling Stopped” displays The Price Is Right Barker’s Beauty Dian Parkinson in her prime. It’s not really a Vegas show until Wayne Newton shows up. And here’s their for “Classic Connection.” Finally “Night of a Thousand Eyes” gives us Gary Collins. Thankfully they keep him away from mobile homes. All and all, this another joyful batch of VEGA$ episodes that brings out the best in the tacky times along the Strip. This ought to be your Christmas treat.

  • Party Favors: Call It Hof Vegas

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    PAHRUMP – Call it Hof Vegas. Dennis Hof of HBO’s Cathouse no longer wants me to warn readers that his Bunny Ranch empire is in only Reno and not Las Vegas. He’s bringing his style of adult fun to the outskirts of Sin City. He called up the hotline from the middle of Crystal, Nevada to spread the news. The sounds of hammering and drills came from his end of the phone.

    “We’re moving around here and getting some things done,” Dennis Hof said. “I bought two 35 year old rundown, rat trap brothels. What you’re buying is the licenses.”

    The two old names were Cherry Patch Ranch and Mabel’s Whore House. The new places are Love Ranch and Dennis Hof’s Cathouse. “Those are name that are synonymous with good times.”

    There are no good times for the former owner. He got arrested for bribing a county official. Dennis found himself in a unique position to double up his business.

    “He had to sell the place,” Dennis said. “There’s not a worse time in American history to sell a brothel. Nobody has any money. Nobody is investing in any businesses. I came in and bought the two places. I’m going through a massive renovation. I’m going to make it all work. Do my magic. I’m doing the same thing I did to the Bunny Ranch 18 years ago except I’m doing in Southern Nevada where the weather is better in the winter.”

    This extremely true since it can be in the mid-80s in Las Vegas while Reno freezes. The new location also means exposure to more tourists than the number that visit the Biggest Little City in the world.

    “The difference is instead of having 8 million people to draw from in Reno-Tahoe, I’ve got 40 million in Las Vegas,” Hof said. He’s realistic in his projection about how many people will want to visit his new houses. “We don’t need that much. If you got 10 percent of 40 million, you got 4 million clients. I can’t handle that. If you got one percent, it’s 400,000. I can’t handle that. If you get a tenth of one percent, that’s 40,000 clients a year. That’s fine. That’s what I need.”

    For a few years there was sense that legal brothels would be allowed inside the city limits of Las Vegas. In the end the politicians couldn’t allow this vice to taint their Sin City. Hof’s two new brothels are the closest legal locations to the Strip. There’s plenty of illegal action in the casinos and hotels. The city is filled with ads for ladies promising In Room Entertainment ladies. They’re not magicians, but they will perform plenty of tricks. Of course the strangest trick is a transformation as they rarely appear as the performer promised. Is Las Vegas ready for a business where the woman on the website looks like the one you have the date with?

    “I’m going to make them ready for me,” Hof declared. “My new campaign is Las Vegas: America’s Sexual Cesspool. What happens in Las Vegas, you take home to your wife. I’ve got lots of ammo to back that up. In Nevada, the legal business in 30 years of mandatory checks has never had a case of HIV. The illegal business in Las Vegas, there’s been 400 girls arrested and forced to take a test and shown to have HIV. It’s horrifying. I’m going to change all that.

    “The city needs to be outed for enabling all this to happen. The mayor comes out says there’s 3,000 active pimps working Las Vegas and 30,000 girls. If you know that, do something about it. And if you don’t do something about it and your tourists are getting diseases, aren’t you responsible for it?”

    Hof wants people who contract VD in Las Vegas to sue the city for refusing to allow the legal brothel system to operate in city limits while the illegal prostitution rackets thrive. “It’s a far out concept. But I don’t know if it is or not.”

    He’s quite happy in his new location of the small town of Crystal. It’s not too far away from Vegas. “Depends on how you come and where you’re at,” Hof said. “If you’re close to Freemont, it’s 45 minutes. If you’re in the heart of Las Vegas and coming through Pahrump, it’s an hour.” The population is only 107, but expect that number to grow.

    “We got a dozen girls now. Eight working and four on vacation. When we get more rooms done, we’ll expand to the next level,” Hof said. It’s very hard to create an intimate mood with a “Pardon Our Dust” sign above the bed.

    “We want the place to look nice and the girls to be proud of where they’re working. We’re working hard on it. It’s going to be great. I don’t have the same construction constraints that I have up there. Here I can plan this paradise as a beautiful resort destination with a swimming pool, jacuzzis and palm trees.”

    You should be able to watch the progress of Dennis Hof’s Cathouse thanks to his new neighbor: Heidi Fleiss. She’s helping him on the reality show about upgrading the old buildings. Extreme Ho House Makeover is the current title. Although I suggested the more direct Pimp My Brothel.

    There were reports on the internet that Hof was marrying Heidi Fleiss. Hof explained how the rumored nuptials. “That goes back a few years ago when Heidi got out of Celebrity Rehab. She flashbacked on when we split up.” She thought Dennis was going to marry her, but he said he couldn’t marry someone on drugs. He told her that when she’s off drugs, they’d talk about it. “She had this flashback and put out a press release saying that we were getting married. And I’m like ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ She said, ‘You told me.’ I said, ‘You’re right. I absolutely did say that. But I’m not in the marrying mood right now.’”

    This explains why you didn’t hear about them being registered at Crate and Barrel.

    Hof is still a relatively single man although he’s hooked up with Cami Parker.

    “Cami is wonderful,” Hof said. “She likes girls so we get along really well with that. Girlfriend in my vernacular is the girl I sleep with the most. I tend to wake up with her more than anybody.”

    She’s also his second girlfriend in a row that’s found herself featured in Hustler. How did this honor come about?

    “Went to lunch with her and Larry Flint and he fell in love with her,” Hof admits. ?
    Air Force Amy, Brooke Taylor and Dennis ended up on episodes of Judge Jeanine Pirro. Dennis was collecting from a deadbeat client that didn’t think he had to pay for a girl-girl show. It was interesting to note that under normal legal circumstances, Dennis would be the defendant. But here he was using the law to get what’s owed.

    “Ain’t that something,” Hof said. “What a turn around that is. I’ve taken this business from guilt and shame to glamour and fame. If you’re a Bunny Ranch girl now, you’re walking through an airport, they love you. Eighteen years ago, nobody would admit you worked at the Bunny Ranch.”

    Cathouse favorite Air Force Amy isn’t hanging around any of the houses at the current time. “She’s gone. We have a love-hate relationship with Amy. We love her when she’s clean and sober. When the twelve step program doesn’t work, the thirteenth step is out the door. If she straightens out, we got something to talk about.”

    Those interested in meeting adult superstar Sunny Lane need to make appointment. “Sunny hasn’t been working much. She’s been doing a few more movies and fell in love. This year she’s backed off some.”

    The legendary Chasey Lane has signed up to work in Crystal, but there’s a hitch.

    “She has not got here yet,” Hof said. “We’re taking appointments for her. We’re trying to find out what her arrest record is. She doesn’t even know. She went through a little wild child stage. We’re trying to get that all worked out. Each county in Nevada has different rules. The county by Las Vegas, if you have a marijuana arrest, it’s OK long as you haven’t gotten in trouble since then. Our county in Northern Nevada say no. We want you to wait five years. That’s the way it is. She is going to work. It’s just which place and how soon.”

    Southwest Air flies to both Vegas and Reno so you can change your flight depending where she ends up.

    “Whomever parties with this girl will not forget it,” Hof promised. You’ll be humming “The Ballad of Chasey Lain” by the Bloodhound Gang afterward.

    Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren’s Love Ranch caused a bit of controversy when the producers attempted to go after Dennis for naming his second brothel the Love Ranch. Dennis wasn’t backing down since the screenwriter got the name from Dennis. Turns out that things worked themselves out without a protracted legal battle. Also didn’t hurt that the film completely tanked over the summer.

    “It’s a shame they didn’t make some money cause I would have got a bunch of it,” Hof said. “It is my federal trademark, but I cut them some slack. (Director) Taylor Hackford acknowledged me at the premiere and had me stand up. That was nice of him.”

    Dennis plans on stocking DVDs of the films in the gift shops of his two Love Ranches. He’ll probably end up making more money than the producers.

    Also on the shelves of the gift shops are bottles of Dennis’ award winning hot sauce. There as hot on the label as the contents. “The Bunny of the month gets her own hot sauce. They’re turning into collector’s items. The girls sign them,” Hof said. With any luck, he’ll be starting a hot sauce of the month club for folks who want heat on their spice rack. You can get more info on the sauce by visiting Loveranch.net and bunnyranch.com.

    In a time where companies are refusing to grow that Hof is doubling his business. Although by giving clients a Love Ranch in both cities, he can save money by doubling up orders of matchbooks and business cards. He’s also figuring out ways to be in two places in the same day.

    “I’m going back and forth as needed. What I need to do is buy an airplane. I’m going to charter a plane for a while to see if I really enjoy it as much as I think I will.” The road between Reno and Vegas takes him about 6 hours versus a barely two hour trip by air.

    Strangely enough there is no nickname for people who live between Reno and Vegas. Bi-vadian is my suggestion.

    Hof boosted the local economy when he purchased numerous mattresses for the new locations at the locally owned Building 160.

    “We want to spend money where we make it. We want to buy things in that community. We want to give back to the community. It’s been a successful formula for 18 years. I love it that way.”

    The recent bedbug infestation news can have nasty consequences in an industry that relies heavily on mattresses. “One of the reason we got rid of them all is we’re scared to death of bedbugs. One of the mattresses we threw away had a sticker from 1978 on it. How much action has that mattress seen? Most of these mattresses were worn out ten years ago.”

    There’s no plans yet for Hof to make a guest appearance on Pawn Stars. “I should do that,” Hof declared. “Bring some brothel memorabilia over there.” It will be TV history with the meeting of Bunny Love with Chumlee. With any luck, they’d become a reality TV could nicknamed ChumLove.

    The next installment of HBO’s Cathouse is slatted for December 16. “Our ninth year. Can you believe it?” Dennis points out. “And we’re going to do a tenth year.” The show is still one of the highest viewed options on HBO’s OnDemand channel. Cathouse: The Specials comes out on DVD the Tuesday before the new episode.

    In the midst of the job crisis, Dennis is getting plenty of resumes from around the country. What helps an applicant get to the top of the pile? “Personality, People skills, desire, hotness….the hotness is all subjective. People skills, personality and desire rules.”

    The there are also traits that get instant rejection. “People who have substance abuse issues. Drama. If they can’t live in a dormitory-type environment,” Hof listed.

    Age is not an issue. “As long as a girl takes care of herself,” Hof qualified. “Some people look pretty hot at different ages.”

    While the southern version of the Love Ranch is operating, it will be a little bit longer before the grand opening of Dennis Hof’s Cathouse. “Probably six months,” he projected. “I’m working with the architect right now. When we go, we’re going big and fast with the construction.”

    Will there be a Subway subs next to the new gift shop? Dennis had joked in the past that he bought the Bunny Ranch because Subway wouldn’t let him acquire a franchise. Will Jared be cutting the ribbon to open up the Cathouse?

    “After all these years, Subway should be begging me to have one,” Dennis said. “I’m going to open up a restaurant in the one. It’s going to basically be a Waffle House. I love Waffle House. I think every guy does. It’s quick, clean, convenient, filling and the price is right. I’m going to open up a mini-Waffle House. Same kind of menu.”

    Speaking from experience, Sunday morning waffles with the bunnies ought to be on your bucket list. It is so much better than breakfast with the Disney characters. Just be careful with what you do with the syrup.

    Besides his own show and construction, Dennis is helping two productions about the horrors of prostitution in Las Vegas. The city is notorious for underaged girls and smuggled in illegal aliens from Eastern Europe.

    “Once they understand the risks for disease, that’s enough to get you to drive 45 minutes,” Hof said. “When you call a girl in Las Vegas, you don’t know if you’re going to get a cop.”

    We joke about him hiring any ex-female cops for clients that have a fetish about being caught in a sting.

    Ultimately Dennis Hof wants to fill the void left by the death of Danny Gans. He’s aiming to be the number one entertainer. He wants to put the Sin back in Sin City without the annoying rash.

    RALLY FOR A VIEW

    This was going to be an amazing recap of covering the Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. Except by the time we made it to the National Mall, we didn’t come close to having a view. The crowd was overflowing onto side streets. We struggled against a sea of humanity to barely squeeze in at 7th Street. Unlike Glenn Beck’s crowd, nobody was sitting back in their lawn chairs with footrests with personal space. It was body against body. Only a Japanese subway pervert would feel comfortable in the crush.

    We didn’t have a view of the stage or the giant video screens. The speakers weren’t even close to us. It was easy to suspect the Daily Show didn’t expect this huge of a crowd. Since we didn’t pay $100 to get into the Mall, it wasn’t a moment that pissed us off. We were just thrilled to be there to know that we would be part of the little dots in the rear on the crowd shots. The place was filled with the kids who grew up reading Mad Magazine, watching the early seasons of Saturday Night Live and quoting Monty Python sketches. There wasn’t a comic book store open on the East Coast that Saturday afternoon. All the cool smarmy kids had gathered just to hang out.

    Here’s a short film guide to what it’s like to take a baby to one of these events in D.C.

    The two themes of the Rally came into play as we were leaving. A three story tall escalator to the L’Enfant Plaza Metro station malfunctioned. People were being hurled downward like a mechanical version of a flash flood. Those of us on nearby stopped escalator reached over to grab people and pull them over to safety. It was a major mess with people sent to the hospital. It confirmed both Colbert’s belief that robots are out to get us and Stewart’s belief that only on TV and in Congress do people prove to be dicks based on stupid criteria. Those of us on the stopped escalator reached to grab people without asking them about their political beliefs. No litmus test was necessary for aid. We helped because we knew that is what you do in that situation. You don’t pontificate. You do what’s necessary for survival.

    POP ROCKS AND SPACE DUST

    The Obscuricon looks at vintage commercials for the two powdered treats that were rumored to be lethal.

    CHRISTMAS CASH FOR CAGE

    Once again, my offer to pay Nic Cage $20 to play me in my family’s Christmas morning video is under the tree. This might be the break through project to make Nic a respected actor once more. He doesn’t need a bad rug to capture the true me. As a bonus, I’m also offering Mel Gibson $20 to play my father. Unlike Todd Phillips, I’m cool with Mel making a cameo in my production. No whiney little bitches will prevent Mel from sitting in a recliner and screaming to not open anything until mom gets back from the kitchen. Tyler Perry will be playing my mother. If Cage and Gibson don’t come through, I’ll have to once more call up Marjoe Gortner and Ahmet Zappa.

    GYPSY COMES ALIVE

    Mystery Science Theater 3000: XIX would be worth nabbing just for the Gypsy figurine. The robot that operated all the functions on the Satellite of Love gets jumbo love. She’s the one who looked like office chairs attached to a giant plastic pipe. The figurine is suitable for a place of honor on your mantelpiece. But there’s plenty more treats outside of the toy. The four titles this time around include one of the greatest names in bad movies and a legendary matinee stinker. All are ready for to be roasted by Joel, Mike, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. Robot Monster is another entry from the first season with Dr. Laurence Erhardt (J. Elvis Weinstein) as part of the mad scientists. Robot Monster is iconic for have a monster that’s has the body of a gorilla and the head of a deep sea diving mask made to look like a TV. The film is so short that we get two installments from the “Commander Cody & the Radar Men from the Moon” serial. Bride of the Monster battles Joel and the Bots against Ed Wood, Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson. This is a battle royale of wits and wonks. The short “Hired! Part 1” gets turned into a musical by the crew. Isn’t it about time this comes to Broadway? “Devil Doll” is an eight season entry with Mike Nelson now in control. The film is rather disturbing with a hypnotic ventriloquist and his dummy taking over London. The gang get into the evil dummy jokes. “Devil Fish” is an Italian ocean horror flick directed by Lamberto Bava. It’s an early attempt at Sharktopus. There’s a lot of beer drinking at sea from the crew in this Jaws clone. While you think the comedy dates itself, Tom Servo jokes about For Colored Girls over a decade before Tyler Perry made the film.

    http://www.shoutfactory.com/av/mst3k/vol_xix/MST19_Deluxe-Trailer-512K.mov

    There are plenty of bonus features packed in this boxset. A new Introduction By J. Elvis Weinstein lets him chat more about the show. Larry Blamire Reflects On Robot Monster. He understands the joy of the giant gorilla suit. There are short films about Bride Of The Monster and Devil Doll. The big treat is an hour long panel from CONvergence 2009 with Joel, Frank and Mary Jo Pehl giving the stories beyond the screen. There’s four little posters perfect for decorating your locker at the golf club. Most importantly is that figurine of Gypsy that will fit perfectly between your Oscar and Nobel Prize.
    DVD SHELF

    Bing Crosby: The Television Specials Volume 2 – The Christmas Specials has arrived just in time for the holidays. It wasn’t truly the holidays until the legendary crooner with his family arrived in your living room with “White Christmas.” Four complete specials from 1961 to 1977 are included in the collection. The first special has Terry-Thomas and Ron Moody in Bing’s special from England. its’ not really a holiday special outside of one song. The big surprise is Bob Hope’s cameo. The 1962 special bring color to Bing’s TV world. The show isn’t completely about Christmas. Mary Martin and Andre Previn join him for a big musical segment of Santa cheer. Don’t settle for cheap substitutes with Jessica Simpson and Clay Aiken. A bonus feature includes “Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank.” The audio track of this color short was part of my Christmas CD rotation in late December. Now the visual component can brighten up the Advent action. “Bing Crosby and the Sounds of Christmas” brings out the Crosby family in 1971. The big guest star is Robert Goulet (Atlantic City). His mustache warms me up more than any yule log. The final entry is also Bing’s last special. “Bing Crosby’s Merry Olde Christmas” takes him to England in 1977. Twiggy attempts to do more than be a model as she chirps in with the Cosby family. The most famous part of this special is the arrival of David Bowie in the middle of his Berlin era. His duet with Bing on “Little Drummer Boy” has grown in stature over the year. It’s sweet and traditional as the duo harmonize. This isn’t nearly as wild as imagined. Here’s a glimpse of Bowie and Bing’s duet.

    The real freak out moment is later in the show when Bowie goes solo for “Heroes.” This is the greatest moment in holiday special history since it is so beyond the tone of anything done on the show. Bowie’s uncompromisingly modern when compared to the comfortable performances in the rest of the show. As a child, this four minutes of TV scarred me for life. I’m grateful that “Heroes” wasn’t clipped out. The transfer quality of these specials are high. This the perfect gift for any relative that moans and groans when Clay Aiken and Jessica Simpson Christmas specials clutter up the dial.

    Christmas Treats 9 Heartwarming TV Classics will keep your eyes roasting with holiday episodes of classic Paramount shows. How many times have you hit the sofa in December wishing for a marathon of Santa themed sitcoms? Don’t rely on a cable channel programmer when you can pick up this collection. Things start out right with The Beverly Hillbillies‘ “Christmas at the Clampetts.” This is their second special when they wake up to experience the holidays SoCal flavored. Best part is the monkey on their new boat. The Lucy Show‘s “Together at Christmas” has her and Viv battling to see whose tradition is more powerful. Happy Days is a real wish when Richie wants to meet the poster girl of a Cola campaign. My favorite of the group is the Love American Style segment “Love and the Christmas Punch.” Henry Gibson gets abused by every member of a small Christmas party as he stumbles in on their secrets. If I have one holiday DVD wish this season, let more season sets of Love American Style be released. There’s also episodes from Petticoat Junction, The Odd Couple, Laverne and Shirley, Mork & Mindy, The Odd Couple and Cheers. Only thing missing from this nearly four hour long set is egg nog.

    Beverly Hills 90210: The Final Season brings the high school fun to a big bang end. The tenth season was strange since the real star of the show had completely departed. No longer was Brandon Walsh (Jason Priestly) kicking around the zip code with his cool sideburns. However we still had all the rest of the kids for this coda. There’s just a touch more of Luke Perry and Tori Spelling. Thrill to the sight of David Austin Green before he became Mr. Megan Fox. The series wraps up with an eagerly awaited wedding. The final 27 episodes are being spread over 6 DVDs. Fans of the show might want to invest in the DVDs since SoapNET is being yanked off the cable box for Disney Jr.

    The Fugitive: The Fourth and Final Season – Volume One brings the chase for Dr. Richard Kimble (David Janssen) into the wonderful world of color. Lt. Philip Gerard (Barry Morse) keeps up the tracking across the USA. “Death Is the Door Prize” features Ossie Davis. Folks who picked up the first season of The Bionic Woman will get a treat with Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman) playing a cop in “The Sharp Edge of Chivalry.” A really young Tom Skerritt (Alien) joins the pursuit in “Joshua’s Kingdom.” Things get extra good when Bruce Dern arrives as part of “The Devil’s Disciples.” There’s only one more release left until Kimble finally tracks down the One-Armed man. The switch to color does cut back on the ability to see Kimble sweat as the dragnet tightens around him. But at least we know his run is coming to an end.

    Perry Mason: Season 5, Volume 2 wraps up the middle of the nine seasons featuring TV’s greatest trial lawyer. The 15 episodes will keep you guessing even if you know that Perry’s client isn’t the truly guilty rat no matter what Lt. Tragg (Ray Collins) and D.A. Hamilton Burger (William Talman) think. There’s plenty of future famous actors getting grilled before the jury by Perry (Raymond Burr). “The Case of the Absent Artist” brings the always welcomed Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut). “The Case of the Angry Astronaut” kills off James Coburn. Burt Reynolds gets the third degree in “The Case of the Counterfeit Crank.” Connie Hines (Mister Ed) is part of the action. “The Case of the Ancient Romeo” kills the lead actor during a blackout on stage. “The Case of the Promoter’s Pillbox” gets a ripped of screenwriter in trouble for the death of an evil producer. Ivan Dixon (Hogan’s Heroes) pops up.

    Super Hero Squad Show Quest for the Infinity Sword Volume 2 gives another six episodes from the animated series about Marvel Heroes as little kids. They battle mini-villains around Super Hero City. This batch has the arrival of small versions of Nick Fury, the Punisher, littler Ant-Man and the Skrulls. The show gets bonus points for a referencing Rocky and Bullwinkle. The violence level isn’t close to the more graphic level of violence found in other super hero animated shows. This is all geared at kids. The big guest voice on this collection is Seinfeld‘s Wayne Knight. My mom saw him in a Ralph’s supermarket. He’s lost a lot of weight and looks great. The big bonus feature is an interview with Tom Kenny (best known as Spongebob Square Pants).

  • Party Favors: Restoring Sanity

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    partycormanBURBANK – Traci Lords was the biggest name in showbiz in 1986, but for all the wrong reasons. She had become a major star in the adult industry. Her run started as Penthouse Pet of the month for the issue that exposed Vanessa Williams in September of 1984. Dozens of video titles appeared as she became the it girl noted for her youthful looks.

    There was a reason for her looking so young: she’d used fake IDs to appear 20. She was under 18 in dozens of her adult films. Only one was made after she turned 18. The FBI and other police agencies poured over the valley investigating everyone connected to the industry. In the midst of this ugliness, Traci Lords still dreamed of being an actress. Luckily she found entry into the profession through the gates of Roger Corman’s studio.

    She was signed to remake Not of This Earth with Jim Wynorski directing. The film became a sensation and allowed Traci to have a successful showbiz career including Melrose Place, Profiler, Blade and numerous John Waters’ flicks. But it all started with a remake shot in 11 and a half days as part of a legendary bet. Corman had made the original in 12 days and Wynorski swore he could go faster than the master. The film marked the last time Traci Lords did a nude scene on camera. Although the skin moments include a love scene with Jim Rome’s substitute host Roger Lodge.

    Shout! Factory is releasing Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Not of This Earth with new bonus features. The Party Favors was able to catch up director Jim Wynorski to ask him about his work with Traci and Corman. He’s like Michael Curtiz or Norman Taurog directing numerous films each year. His early career included Chopping Mall and Munchie. He’s recently made films that have become legendary on SyFy channel including Dinocrock vs. Supergator and Komodo vs. Cobra along with numerous softcore spoofs like The Devil Wears Nada and Cleavagefield. Because of his busy schedule, it was easier to email him the questions.

    Party Favors: Were any other remakes considered for Traci Lords?

    Jim Wynorski: I don’t understand the question, but I will say this…. Traci had just gone underground to avoid the bad publicity regarding her rather disruptive departure from the porn industry. I searched her down when I set out to do a remake of Not of This Earth. I found her through some Sam Spade detective work and convinced her to read the script. She did and agreed to star in the picture.

    Party Favors: How was the news of Roger Corman making a deal with Traci Lords treated back in 1988?

    Jim Wynorski: He was out of town when the film was in pre-production. I made the deal with her through the lawyer at Corman’s office. As far as I know, Roger was unaware of Traci or her reputation. It was only on his return, while the picture was in full production, that he understand the full extent of Traci’s appearance in the movie.

    Party Favors: At what point did you know you’d get to direct the project?

    Jim Wynorski: I was the one who suggested it to Roger Corman before he left on a business trip to Europe.

    Party Favors: What were Roger Corman’s instructions about what he wanted to see on the screen?

    Jim Wynorski:“Make it fun and exciting, Jim; it’s one of my own personal favorites of the films I’ve directed.”

    Party Favors: Is it tough to remake a film with the original director being the producer?

    Jim Wynorski: No, he never even came to set. When he realized that Traci’s name might mean extra sales, he wisely added more money for special efx. I think he enjoyed the redux, even though I left out the flying umbrella creature that attacked people’s brains.

    Party Favors: What sort of pressure did you feel in wanting to match Roger Corman’s production time? Did you keep an eye on the clock to nail that half day? Was there a wager?

    Jim Wynorski: Yes there was a friendly wager. I won. But then so did Roger. The film was a huge financial success.

    (Editor note: the prize that Wynorski won from Corman is revealed on the new commentary track.)

    Party Favors: How much faster do you think you could have made the film in HD instead of 35mm?

    Jim Wynorski: How much faster do you think you could eat lunch if you had two mouths instead of one?

    Party Favors: Did Traci Lords background in adult features keep her from being overwhelmed by your production speed?

    Jim Wynorski: No, she was nervous the first day – but her stress wore off after she discovered the entire crew was on her side and wanted her to succeed. I used the last day to reshoot many of the scenes she’d filmed on day one. It greatly improved her performance and the picture as well.

    Party Favors: Did you have any strategies for working with her? Or was there little time for such head games?

    Jim Wynorski: I treat every actor the same. If they do good, I reward. If they’re bad, I reward even more.

    Party Favors: Was there much pre-production time with your cast?

    Jim Wynorski: None.

    Party Favors: What’s your favorite memory from the set?

    Jim Wynorski: Calling a wrap on the last day, then going out drinking with the cast. Very nice party.

    Party Favors: How was it working with Monique Gabrielle?

    Jim Wynorski: I was living with Monique at the time. She wanted to do something different, so I cast her as the bag lady. She was so cute when she was doing that part. I think I still have her broken tennis racket somewhere out in the garage.

    Party Favors: Did Penthouse want to help promote the film since you had two Penthouse Pets in the cast?

    Jim Wynorski: Nope. Never heard a peep from them.

    (Editor note: Not of This Earth is a tribute to the various films Corman had produced at New World with numerous clips from these films being cut into the action. During a crash scene, the truck explosion from Humanoids From the Deep was used. The opening credits lift many spaceship effects from Galaxy of Terror and Forbidden World.)

    Party Favors: Why were clips from other films used in the opening credits?

    Jim Wynorski: I wanted to make a fun montage of sci-fi clips before the picture opened, so I spent an afternoon cutting them all together out of Roger’s vast library for fun.

    Party Favors: What did you think of the 1995 remake?

    Jim Wynorski: Was there really another remake????

    Party Favors: What was it like to get to go in and do a new commentary track for the DVD?

    Jim Wynorski: Fun. Free food and drink, although the pineapple was tart. And Traci wore something low cut just for me. Yay!!

    Party Favors: Did you and Traci share the same studio space or are your comments edited together? (Editor note: this was asked before the DVD showed up in our mailbox.)

    Jim Wynorski: We were both there together, but they had to restrain me behind glass in another adjoining room.

    Party Favors:What was it like reuniting with her?

    Jim Wynorski: I’d seen often during the interim between 1988 and now. She doesn’t age, so it’s always fun to meet up with her.

    Party Favors: Have you worked with her since Not of this Earth?

    Jim Wynorski: No, but not because I didn’t want to – it’s just our skeds never really meshed.

    Party Favors: What of your films you’ve made with Corman are you excited about seeing on the new Roger Corman Cult Classics series?

    Jim Wynorski: All of them. They should finally put out DINOSAUR ISLAND on DVD, along with reissues of DEATHSTALKER 2, TRANSYLVANIA TWIST, HAUNTING OF MORELLA, SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2, HARD TO DIE and a bunch of others.

    Party Favors: You’ve directed several movies that run on the SyFy channel. Is anyone making one about a killer sloth?

    Jim Wynorski: Yes, you are – if you can locate some dentists with a bunch of disposable income.

    If you are part of a dentist investment group that want to make your own SyFy channel flick, drop us a line at the Party Favors.

    THE GREATEST RALLY EVER!

    The Party Favors will be covering both the Rally to Restore Sanity and the March to Keep Fear Alive in Washington D.C. This will mark the first time in 25 years that we’ve ever gone to a Rally that didn’t provide free beer. Unlike other rallies over the year, the joy of this Daily Show – Colbert Report unification is not to cure cancer, stop the war, give us the right to vote or make Area 51 public. It’s just happening to scare the crap out of loud mouth pundits who think Comedy Central viewers are stoned losers who can’t figure out how to get out of their parents’ basement.

    The joke shall be on them.

    There will be miracles occurring on the Washington Mall. There will be moments on the stage that will be preserved on Franklin Mint plates. While nothing has been announced rumors are swirling as to what’s on the schedule. A few of our favorites include:

    Weird Al Yankovic kicking off the event with his accordion version of “The Star Spangled Banner.”

    Terrence Stamp shall be lowered onto the platform dressed as General Zod. He’ll have an army of bears that collect social security checks. He’ll demand we kneel before him.

    The League of Pocket Protectors will accompany Jon Stewart on stage. This will be 1,000 leading scientists, historians and engineers that will remind Americans that there’s no reason to be stupid and fear the education process. Then they’ll have a battle royale with members of Glenn Beck’s cultish Black Robe Brigade.

    Brian Wilson shall perform “Good Vibrations” and then tell James Watt to suck it.

    The shadow of John McCain’s Maverick self will commit seppuku.

    Unveiling of a memorial to dead members of the Kiss Army.

    Albert Pujols will receive a medal for being an award whore who cursed his Cardinals by stooping to be a tool for someone else’s rally.

    Jon Stewart will deport all the Canadian geese from Washington D.C.

    Colbert will announce the Smithsonian’s newest exhibit: the history of internet porn.

    Tom Hanks will appear as Forrest Gump and keep yelling for Jenny. Sean Penn will punch him out.

    Mel Gibson will give the opening pray for Shemp Howard to bless us.

    Expect plenty of video from the greatest event of our lifetime. This will be better than Woodstock since it’s only 3 hours of weirdness. You can go home and shower afterward.

    TWINS?

    When will James Nesbitt and Titus Welliver play brothers in a project? I kept thinking the star of Murphy’s Law was tangling with the Sons of Anarchy. Titus could probably collect Nesbitt’s BBC royalty checks if the bank’s lighting is kept low.

    CORMAN CORNER

    Roger Corman’s Cult Classics returns for another month of amazing releases. We’ve already given you the major low down on Not of This Earth. Traci Lords is a nurse who gets involved with a mysterious patient at the doctor’s office. While things are weird, she has plenty of time for a few nude scenes and an amazing bikini moment. This movie gave me the faith that she’d become the first ex-porn star to win the Oscar. It’s still her finest performance in a lead role. Besides the old commentary track with Jim Wynorski from the 2001 DVD, there’s a new one with Traci and Jim having a swell time remembering the whirlwind production. There’s a bit of talk about why John Lodge shouldn’t drive your car. There’s also a video interview with Traci. She looks youthful enough to card her for buying beer. The remastered transfer is the best this film has ever looked on home video. The original Not of This Earth comes out on DVD in January as part of Roger Corman’s Sci-Fi Classics including Attack of the Crab Monsters and War of the Satellites.

    Double Feature: The Terror Within / Dead Space is mutant mania served up from Corman’s Concorde era. Terror Within takes us to a post apocalyptic world after some thing has swept the country. In the midst of the desert only an outpost of humanity remains inside a bunker with George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke) and Andrew Stevens (too many Cinemax After Dark flicks) lead a science community. They can’t figure out how to make it to a distant bunker, but they need to get serious since a mutant monster is roaming their turf. They rescue a pregnant woman from outside, but guess what happens when she comes down? It’s Alien underground! Lots of cheap thrills as George Kennedy does his best to keep from cracking up.

    Dead Space is a complete remake of Forbidden World without the luxury of slapping styrofoam containers on the Galaxy of Terror sets. This time Marc Singer (The Beastmaster and V) is the outerspace lawman that arrives at the scientific outpost to help subdue a mutated experiment that’s gone out of control. Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad and Malcolm In the Middle) is the nutso scientist. It’s interesting to see how a filmmaker remakes a low budget film with an even lower budget. Cranston does well against the monster that’s not quite as complex as the original films’ creature. Director Fred Gallo gives a commentary track.

    The sweet part of this DVD is being able to run it as a grindhouse double feature with the trailers and other promo reels linking them together.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    The Crimson Wing, Mystery of the Flamingos returns Disney to their roots of the True-Life Adventures series with their new Disneynature banner. This is a 21st century version as they bring 1080p to the wilderness. There is an elegance framing to the story of flamingos. These poor creatures have been reduced to plastic figures littered around trailer parks. Now they can take flight and soar. This is an extremely beautiful film that stuns on a hi-def TV. It follows the birds that live at Lake Natron in Tanzania. The footage of a predator bird picking away at the chicks is savage until a brave parent flamingo steps up. There’s a lot of predators in the African wilderness. The Blu-ray includes the DVD in case you want to watch it in the mini-van. This is the March of the Penguins for those who can’t stand the cold.

    Oceans is another lush documentary from Disneynature. It takes us to the salt water world filled with aqua life. This is not your father’s Jacques Cousteau documentary. Ultimately this is gorgeous and perfect for running on your HDTV as a piece of art. The footage of a school of fish fighting off attacks from dolphin and divebombing fish is more exciting than anything in the Matrix. Sharks and whales join into the feeding frenzy. This action doesn’t seem to stop until the attackers get full bellies. For kids who enjoyed Finding Nemo, this seems to be the best way to explain what life is really like deep down in the blue sea. Although it might not be good to let the kids see how the little baby turtles make it from the nest to the water. That’s brutal footage. But kids must know that their are predators in the world. The bonus features include a song from Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato and a piece on Disney’s work with the environment.

    Los Angeles Lakers 2010 NBA Finals Series: Collectors Edition – Blu-Ray gives all seven games against the Boston Celtics in 1080p clarity. Amazing how fast the games go when they don’t have to show us all the time outs. The series can pretty much be summed up with how Ray Allen went completely cold after eating at STK. He sets the record for nailing 3-pointers, eats at this high profile dining establishment and transforms into a brick layer of epic proportions. The Celtics lost the final game by 4 points. Watch painfully in Blu-ray as Allen goes 3 for 14 from the field. If he’d be merely mediocre, the Celtics would be on the cover of these discs. That’s not saying Ray Allen is the goat of the team. Rashad Wallace didn’t step up when Kendrick Perkins went down in game six. Needless to say this will be a bigger hit with fans of the Purple and Gold and not the Green. It ends with Kobe Bryant having to share the glory with a Kardashian family member. Wasn’t that also the ending of the Super Bowl? The bonus features get us into the locker room for the various games. It’s the perfect way to relive the excitement of Kobe getting his fifth ring. If only Ray Allen hadn’t gone to STK, this all could have been prevented.

    DVD SHELF

    Tales From the Darkside: The Final Season wraps up the syndicated horror anthology that was a good scare before heading out for a Saturday night in 1987. The George Romero production had the unforgettable opening featuring the bright countryscapes that get negative flipped to make us feel the impeding darkside. “Beetles” unleashes an Egyptian curse when the guy refuses to believe what he reads. Colm Meaney plays a cop. “The Moth” gives Deborah Harry a scare about a dying soul being trapped in a moth. Clive Barker gives us his adaptation of “The Yattering and Jack.” A demon tempts a nice guy. It’s good versus evil. “Sorry, Wrong Number” rings in the fear from Stephen King. “Don’t Open This Box” was directed by Jodie Foster. “Basher Malone” makes an holy roller wrestler grapple with a demonic opponent. Vic Tayback is the wicked manager. Brinke Stevens graces the screen in the finale. The bonus features include “Akhbar’s Daughter” and “Attic Suite” – two episodes from a spin-off series that never took off.

    The Ghost Whisperer: The Final Season wraps up Jennifer Love Hewitt’s spiritual mystery series. How could this happen? The season opens with “Birthday Presence.” She’s fearful about her impending trip to the delivery room. After the baby pops out, the show jumps five years. During the kiddie’s birthday, the ghost of a month that died during delivery arrives. She swears her son’s spirit is inside Jennifer’s child. Fans seemed a bit rattled by the missing years. “Head Over Heels” puts her in the middle of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. This is a fine thing to play for a date night near Halloween. Jennifer directed “Implosion” that was the show’s 100th episode. It made the magic number to make sure The Ghost Whisperer will live forever in syndication instead of rotting away. A bonus feature covers how she juggled being star, producer and director. There’s various tours of the sets. The big extra is The Other Side IV webisodes. It’s a fond farewell.

    Cannibal Girls is finally here. Remember to hide when the bell rings for it rings for blood. The comedic horror film helped launch the careers of SCTV legend Eugene Levy (American Pie) and Andrea Martin (My Big Fat Greek Wedding). It was directed by Ivan Reitman who would go on to direct Stripes and Ghostbusters. It’s dared to make us laugh over ritual cannibalism in a small town. Three women butcher tourists in order stay young. Their next victims might be Eugene and Andrea. Can they survive or will we be hiding our eyes for the majority of the film? It’s a fine mixture of gores and laughs. Eugene Levy’s hair looks like he’s coated with the pelt of a black poodle. The cool thing is that you can listen to the audio track that has the ringing bell if you want to cover your eyes before the gore. The bonus features include extensive interviews with Eugene Levy and Ivan Reitman. They also include the original AIP trailer, TV spots and radio ads.

    The Real L Word: Season One lets us experience the true tales of lesbians in LA versus the fake ones that took place on The L Word. This is kinda like Bravo’s Real Housewives series except without any dorky husbands holding back their table flipping, extension pulling wives. Basically it lets us know that the type of characters found in the fictional series do exist around Los Angeles. There’s the committed couple and the swinging single. There’s always tension with the classic power plays and bickering between social pals. As the women grow used to being followed by cameras, they loosen up. The nudity and SSC warning is earned on the final episodes. It’s kinda hard how real the show is. Seems less staged than an episode of The Hills, but not quite as raw as Cops. They’re in the production of capturing a second season.

    The Tudors: The Final Season proves that the main problem with a historical drama is no matter how much of hit it becomes, you can’t make the characters outlive their real life counterparts. Henry VIII (B. Monkey‘s Jonathan Rhys Meyers) died at age 55 after going through 6 wives. Historical events are still dramatic and kinky in these final years of his reign covered on the 10 episodes. He marries the extremely young Katherine Howard (Tamzin Merchant). She’s a little vixen who becomes a queen bee when she gets the crown. She also thinks that just cause the king messes around with other women, she ought to be able to keep a stable of studs. There’s was not an open marriage. The resolution allows Henry to hook up with Katherine Parr (Nip/Tuck‘s Joely Richardson). She’s rather nervous since he’s pretty nasty when break ups happen. Can she calm him down? His last great event is taking a run at France to reclaim his property. Meyers adapts well as Henry becomes hobbled by his leg injuries. This is when he become the fat monarch as seen in the famous paintings and spoofs. In a sense he was the first Fat Elvis works since Meyers also played the King of Rock and Roll. This is a great series for college kids who want to enjoy English history with plenty of carnal action. This was a great series for Showtime. Shame Henry didn’t live a little longer for a Season Five.

    TapouT: The Complete Series takes us deep inside the world of UFC action and attire. Mask, Punkass and Skyskrape are the faces behind the clothing line that dominates the fans of Mixed Martial Arts. The trio want to do more than make new t-shirts that rival Ed Hardy. They want to give back to their sport. They want to find superstars ready to dish out MMA beatdowns. They cruise around the country in a bus to scout fresh talent. Each episode features the person getting into the cage octagon to prove if they really are ready for the sport or if they should go to pro wrestling school. This is a lot more entertaining than that other search for the next UFC superstar show. All 20 episodes from its two season on Versus are in the boxset. The TapouT trio are goofy yet serious about the sport of the 21st Century.

  • Party Favors: Neither Rain Nor Sleet…

    partyfavors1.jpg

    partyfeely1FUQUAY-VARINA – It was a speedy two days with major stars dropping into my neighborhood.

    On a Thursday night the man who made predicted FedEx arrived at a Durham library. Mister McFeely (David Newell) still fits in his Speedy Delivery uniform and hat as he greeted Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fans of all ages. Most of the ages were under seven. Luckily I had brought along a little kid in order not to stick out.

    McFeely was at the end of a weeklong tour around the state to touch base with the kids. Lately whenever any star of kid focused tv shows comes to town, it’s part of some over inflated media spectacular stage show at the sports arena. There’s singing, dancing, indoor fireworks and motorcycle stunts meant to dazzle a three year old. Plus there’s a $18 convenience charge on the tickets. But this was not McFeely’s type of entertainment. He was free and nobody tried to sell the kids noise makers, t-shirts and balloons.

    He keeps his show simple without the Vegas effects. He talks to the kids that sit on the floor around him. He reads a book about guessing what’s inside the packages he delivers. He’s careful to point out that he never opens the wrapped containers since that’s against the law. He breaks out a variety of puppets from the Neighborhood of Make Believe. He’s honest when a few puppets aren’t ones that were used on the show, but vintage toys from the series.

    He had plenty of good news to deliver on this trip. PBS foolishly doesn’t even have a daily slot for Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood on it’s 24 hour PBS kids digital substation. The episodes are now available at http://pbskids.org/rogers/index.html. Along with clips from the series. You can go straight to Mr. Rogers’ best songs.

    In this time of turmoil, it’s reassuring to hear him sing, “You Can Never Go Down the Drain.” You might not think that’s impossible if you watch too much cable news or listen to talk radio. But it’s true.

    Even bigger news from McFeely is they are making an animated series based on Daniel Striped Tiger and the characters from the Village of Make Believe. The show is targeted to be on PBS in the Fall of 2011 if all goes right. It is a good way to keep the memory and characters of Mister Rogers around.

    partyfeely2Things got even faster the next day when Mario Andretti opened a local Firestone tire place. The man’s name means racing in Italian. He won the Daytona 500 in 1967 and the Indy 500 in 1969. He somewhat won a disputed Indy title in 1981. The guy is a racing legend having made a name around the globe in Formula One. The fact that he was in town and doing autographs without charge, meant I raced down the road.

    You know how much a crummy middle reliever in major markets will charge for their signature at a card show? And you have to bring your own ball and bat. Mario had his own photos to sign. They are suitable for framing.

    The event was rather easy going with Mario sitting behind a table signing away. Since the line wasn’t too long, he happily chatted away with fans and posed for pics. He wasn’t putting on an ego trip like major jerk / author Nicholas Sparks who yelled at an eight year old girl at an autograph session for merely mentioning her name. He doesn’t sign names even if the girl suffered heat stroke on the set of his stupid movie.

    If you’d asked nicely, Mario would have put on a helmet and shown you how to get max speed while circling the parking lot. At age 70, he still looks ready to go a couple laps around the brickyard.

    When we got up to the table, I asked Mario about how nowadays it’s not good enough for a driver to know how to race; they have to be fantastic pitchmen. Was there an emphasis on being able to win and appear in commercials during his time behind the wheel?

    Mario misunderstood the question and thought I was hating on sponsors. He pointed out how it has become increasingly more important to have corporate sponsorships since the cost of running a car at the top level has hit record highs.

    Andretti believes these are the “Good Old Days” of racing because of the speeds, safety and coverage.

    Lately there’s been numerous Indy Racing stars shifting into the NASCAR circuit. At the same time a few NASCAR regulars have slid into the cockpit for the Indy 500 (to double header it with Memorial day race in Charlotte). Seeing how Andretti had zoomed around in both cars, it had to be ask which is the tougher transition: NASCAR to Indy or Indy to NASCAR.

    He declared that going from NASCAR to Indy Racing is a tougher. There’s no trading paint on open wheel racers since odds are high that merely a tire touch will send you airborne.

    We had to move on so that Mario could have a little quality time with the folks sponsoring his visit.

    BITTER CHANCE

    I didn’t have the heart to ruin the fun by asking Mr. McFeely about Rupert Murdoch’s rapid attack on Mister Rogers’ legacy. Seems that Professor Don Chance, a finance teacher at Louisiana State University, came up with a theory that Mister Rogers is the root of all evil in his classes. The Wall Street Journal spread his hate across the nation and it was reinforced on Fox News. His proof was how Asian students didn’t whine for extra points on their grades. It’s all Mister Rogers’ fault that white kids question his red marker’s power. For decades Mister Rogers told the students they’re “special.” Chance said, “He’s representative of a culture of excessive doting.”

    Did Professor Chance even watch Mr. Rogers? Or was he raised in a dog kennel behind Michael Vick’s house? Of course this man’s theory hinges on the belief that Asian kids don’t want extra credit. That they are a submissive culture that take what we give them. Of course we won’t dare call that reinforcing a racial stereotype cause we know college professors never do that. Under my equally extensive research, Asian kids are known to hack into school computers and change their grades.

    Do you know why kids feel entitled to higher grades? Don’t blame Fred Rogers. How about putting a target on Goldman Sachs? Those guys understand that cheating gets you everywhere in life including million dollar bonuses, Greek islands, rockets to the moon and stripper wives are the treasures of cooking the books. How many financial geniuses pay fat fines and then refuse to admit guilt as part of the plea. They’re all innocent as they destroy the economy and stuff their billions in Swiss bank accounts.

    I was going to post the video of Fox News endorsing Professor Chance’s defaming of Mister Rogers. But why bother? Why do I need to make you dumber with a clip from Fox and Friends? It just shows how Murdoch’s synergy works. They have one unit cause a ripple and the other arms of the empire report it as a tidal wave. One loud mouth professor’s character assassination turns into a fact! Why? Cause the Wall Street Journal reported it. Guess that makes Professor Chance a special person.

    You should hire Professor Chance for your four year old’s birthday party. Forget the pony or clown. Imagine their delight as Professor Chance informs them that they are a replaceable cog in the machine. What kid doesn’t want the news that in case they die, mommy and daddy can have a new baby and reuse all their toys and clothes. At the end of the his visit, he’ll sit on your kid’s cake to remind them that they deserve nothing for merely living a year.

    HAWAII FIVE-OH?

    So far the revamped Hawaii Five-O has become the Danno show. Why are they clogging up the episodes with so much backstory? Did the producers not watch the original series? It’s all about tasty badguys bringing evil to the island. McGarrett has to bust their chops. The rest of the crew does his bidding.

    Alex O’Loughlin isn’t the second coming of Jack Lord’s McGarrett. He just can’t give that rocky brooding while tracking down pimps and junkies terrorizing tourists. Scott Caan’s Danno has way too much drama with his ex-wife. Daniel Dae Kim’s Chin Ho doesn’t sit well with the whole dirty cop backstory. This isn’t The Wire. This is about tropical flavored crime.

    Stick to the formula. There’s just too much office action at this point. I’m enjoying my Grace Park surfing action, but give me the psychopathic Slim Whitman on a killing spree.

    I want to like this show, but they need to quit out thinking the source material. Get some dumb people working on scripts. The good news is because of the series, the final three episodes of Jack Lord’s Hawaii Five-O are slated to be released over the next 9 months. Bring on Truck!

    PRIMAL OOZE SOON

    Every time you think E! has given a reality show to the lowest form of life in America, they drill deeper in Death Valley to pump out a more disgusting creature.

    Jonathan Cheban of The Spin Crowd is the most jaw dropping, pathetic excuse for a publicist. This guy looks like Davis Spade’s butt double. His office is filled with people who couldn’t pass the audition for background extras on The Hills. His celebrity contacts look like they really owe Ryan Seacrest major favors. I feel dirty when I flip by the show hoping to catching Joel McHale’s Soup’s Tribute to Douchebags. Although that would merely be an 9 hour marathon of Cheban’s lamest clips.

    If you ever want an excuse to never go near Southern California, it’s the fear of choking and only having Cheban in the room. You don’t want to owe this guy your life.

    RICO! YOUNGBLOOD!

    Bad news for people accustomed to their yearly DVD release of The Untouchables. The fourth (final) season of the black and white feds versus gangsters series has been backburnered. I asked a question on CBS Home Entertainment’s Facebook page. The response, “Season 4 Vol. 1 won’t be out this year. CBS is still looking into the release of this show.”

    There’s no need to give up hope. They brought back Cheers and Have Gun Will Travel after they’d been off the release slate for quite a few years.

    CORMAN CORNER

    Halloween demands you have creepy DVDs ready to spook guests. There’s no finer squirm collection than this month’s installment of Shout! Factory’s Roger Corman Cult Classics. There’s mad killers, haunted houses and creepy dead stars.

    The Slumber Party Massacre Collection is a triple feature boxset that contains the ’80s popular body count series. The trio of films were popular at the creepy mom and pop video stores on that rack just outside the bead curtain to the adult section. While there were numerous slaughter titles coming out during that time, Slumber Party had the unique honor that all three were directed by women. Director Amy Jones and her husband shot the first few minutes of a Rita Mae Brown script for The Slumber Party Massacre (1982). She’d been an editor for a while and took the gamble to upgrade her credit position. It helped that her husband is cinematographer Michael Chapman (Taxi Driver and Raging Bull). Corman saw her opening and gave her the green light to finish the film. She passed up a chance to edit E.T. to give us the tale of a drill killer sticking it to numerous high school kids. Despite it’s low budget, the Slumber Party gives up the gore and humor. Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) brings a little rock’n to the killin’. Crystal Bernard (Wings) and her all girl band stay at a house so they can focus on their tunes. She keeps having evil dreams about a Billy Idol rocker with a lethal guitar. He’s got a drill on the neck. Without much elaboration, he’s real and ready to put holes in the kids. Slumber Party Massacre III (1990) actually has the killing take place during a proper Slumber Party. There’s also a bit of mystery as to the identity of the man with the power drill. The Sleepless Nights documentary gets beneath the surface of the horrific spree. We also meet a young boy whose greatest Christmas present was a VHS copy of the original. Each film gets an audio commentary to give all the secrets. If you order the DVD set from Shout! Factory’s site, you can get a limited edition bloody pillowcase.

    Here’s the original trailer for Part 2.

    The Evil / Twice Dead Double Feature are two classic tales of bad real estate deals. The Evil puts Richard Crenna (Rambo: First Blood) on the road to hell thanks to the good intention of turning a dumpy mansion into a rehab clinic. Little does he know that he should have not merely hired a home inspector, but an exorcist. His batch of volunteers uncover what might be the door to hell. Things end up messier than a house flipping show on TLC. Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut) makes an elaborate cameo. Twice Dead moves a family into a mansion. Sure it sounds great, but it’s in the middle of a nasty neighborhood. How nasty? Todd Bridges lives in the area. But if the violence isn’t scary, there’s also the ghost of a dead actor who died in a freaky hanging suicide.

    The Warrior and the Sorceress / Barbarian Queen Double Feature are two sword and magic epics that might not seem like Halloween features. That is until you realize both stars died in tabloid headlines. The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984) has David Carradine. He died in a strange hanging sex act while in Bangkok. But in this film, he’s a warrior fighting for control over a water well. Maria Socas is allergic to clothes. Barbarian Queen (1985) stars Lana Clarkson. Phil Spector was convicted of her murder. Lana and her warrior women force are done wrong by Roman soldiers. There’s a lot of twisted torture involving racks, metal spikes and other toys developed for those websites. After the ladies recover, they are all out for vengeance. There’s a lot of metal on metal action. Once more another great pair of films rescued from the rear of the Videorama.

    THE DVD SHELF

    CSI: The Tenth Season is the first fulltime season with Dr. Ray Langston (Laurence Fishburne) in control of the crime scene investigation squad. Las Vegas is still a dangerous town with freak murders that test their skills to the extreme. “Ghost Town” has a porn producer and a drug dealer slaughtered. “Bloodsport” kills a college football coach. The entire team is a suspect. Why didn’t they look at insane internet bloggers? They did a triple crossover starting with “Lost Girls” when Ray hunts for the human traffickers that might be turning a woman into a hooker. Both crossover episodes with CSI: Miami and CSI: New York are included in this boxset. “The Panty Sniffer” represents the first time a network has turns that fetish into a TV Guide title. “Doctor Who” does not feature any real time travel. Although Part two is “Meat Jekyll.” It’s another serial killer roaming the strip. The show keeps up the crime with the new leader fully in charge. The bonus features include Commentary tracks, Lab Rats: The Saga Continues, CSI: The Experience, Frozen In Time: CSI’S Season Opener, KillerTales: Season 10 of CSI, Leaving Las Vegas: Langston Heads East and Getting Lost.

    Psycho Legacy is a great bonus feature for those eager to buy the Psycho Blu-ray. Robert Galluzzo has put together a documentary that doesn’t merely explore how Alfred Hitchcock created the unsettling world of Norman Bates, but how Anthony Perkins came to accept that character into his life. He interviews filmmakers and cast that were involved in the three sequels. He takes the camera to the Universal backlot to check out the Bates Motel and mother’s house. There’s a second disc that includes the complete tape of Perkins talking to a horror convention. He has a warm glee while discussing his cold blooded creation. Psycho Legacy is the perfect bonus feature for those who want to know more about the three “reunion” movies.

    Gunsmoke: The Fourth Season, Volume One brings back the long running show that is tied with Law and Order for the longest running drama. At this point Gunsmoke is still a half hour black and white show. There’s a lot of stars popping up on the frontier. “Matt for Murder” brings trouble with Bruce Gordon (The Untouchables). “The Blacksmith” has George Kennedy hitting the iron. “Small Water” has Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch). “Lost Rifle” unloads with Charles Bronson (Death Wish). He looks good facing off with Marshal Matt Dillon (James Arness). Matt’s sidekick is still Chester (Dennis Weaver) Besides the sponsor spots, the big bonus is the inclusion of “How to Cure a Friend” from Season 2. Turns out they put the fourth season “How to Kill a Friend” on the Season 2 DVD set. Another great boxset of Western fun.

    Scrubs: The Complete and Final Ninth Season really does end the long running saga of J.D., Turk, Elliot and the rest of the Sacred Heart regulars. This is like the third season where the show was supposed to end. The producers did change things up making the cast part of Sacred Heart’s Medical School. It’s kinda like in the later version of Doctor In the House when the students went back to teach. The mixing of the original cast with the new students is rather bumpy. The narratives get a little confusing with too many talking at once. The janitor is gone since he’d moved to Indiana to be with his family on The Middle. But there’s lots of Zach Braff smiling angst as he wonders if this will be his final season. If you’re a fan of Scrubs, this might be worth grabbing since it might not get as much syndication play as the earlier seasons. Think of this as the Joe Besser effect. The bonus features include bloopers, explained deleted scenes, Live from the Gold Cart and producer Bill Lawrence discussing the medical school change.

    Phineas and Ferb: A Very Perry Christmas is the holiday special for small addicts of this Disney series abut two inventive kids and a platypus named Perry. If you’re clueless about the show, get yourself stuck next to a five year old for Thanksgiving dinner. The big treat on the DVD set is the “Christmas Vacation” episode. The kids and Perry must stop an evil scientist from ruining the holiday season. Imagine the sad fate if they don’t save Christmas. Think of all their merchandise that wouldn’t move off the shelves. There’s five other episodes. The best of the bonus features is the “Phineas and Ferb Virtual Fireplace.” Put the animated yule log on your TV to feel the warmth. The Perry Iron-On should make you be the coolest kid in the office cubicle.

    CSI: Miami – The Eight Season returns us to the sunglass glory of Lt. Horatio Caine (David Caruso). The season opens to a flashback on how Horatio brought together the team back in 1997. Was it really that long ago? “Hostile Takeover” puts a gunman inside their lab. He’s got hostages. “Bolt Action” kills three volleyball player. “Show Stopper” is my favorite episode when a pop tart singer goes up in massive flames during a concert. Who doesn’t want a singer that gives 110 percent on that stage – especially when it’s all combustible. If only all annoying teen singers would go poof. “Die By the Sword” has a guy killed by a samurai sword. There was a Miami Vice episode like that. “L.A.” was directed by Rob Zombie. Shame he didn’t direct “Mommie Deadest” with a soccer mom biting the dust. She’s got dark secrets. Perhaps she cut her orange slices the wrong way for the kids? The bonus episodes include the CSI and CSI: NY crossover episodes. There’s a piece about the show going all HD. The 24 episodes are on 7 DVDs.

    Astonishing X-Men – Gifted gives us Joss Whedon’s 6 comic books in a limited animated presentation. They done an amazing job of lifting the original comic book art from John Cassaday and giving it just enough animation to bring us inside the panels. The story is about a scientist coming up with a cure for the mutant gene. At the same time a massive alien arrives ready to mess up the X-Men. Plus there’s a question of loyalty with Nick Fury and his armed men. Whedon brings his finest elements from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly into the X-Men universe. Each comic book takes about 11 minutes to watch. This is a great way to geek out without getting ink on your fingers.

    Desperate Housewives: The Complete Sixth Season brings us more weirdness from Wisteria Lane. No longer is Nicollette Sheridan as resident. In her place arrives The Sopranos‘ Drea de Matteo. She can finally rid herself of the stench of Joey. She and her family also have a deep dark secret. Who doesn’t on this show? There’s still plenty of back biting, romantic flings and twins. There’s a strangler lurking behind the rose bushes. The big shocker is when a plane crashes in the neighborhood. The bonus features include bloopers, deleted scenes and a master class in acting. The best is “Miss Piggy Gets Desperate.” The Muppet Show superstar dishes with the ladies since she was the original desperate lady of primetime.

    Castle: The Complete Second Season Two continues the mystery about a novelist and a police detective. Richard Castle (Firefly‘s Nathan Fillion) has overcome his writer’s block from the first season, but he can’t quit tagging along with Det. Kate Beckett (Stana Katic). She’s not his new heroine of the Nikki Heat novels. The new season opens with her upset at reopening the case of her murdered mother. She breaks up their relationship, but discovers she needs his help in a hanging murder. “Double Down” has more relationship fun when they investigate a murdered couples therapist. “A Rose for Everafter” lets Castle reunite with his ex-lover during her wedding day. Turns out her bridesmaid was murdered. Does that mean she still has to pay for the hideous dress? Alyssa Milano plays the old flame. “Tick, Tick, Tick….” and “Boom!” are a two part hunt for a serial killer. Dana Delany arrives as an FBI Special Agent. Dana is so special. There’s 24 episodes spread over 5 DVDs. Bonus features include deleted scenes, bloopers, how the production team stages a murder scene. Ladies will like a little personal time with Nathan.

    Legend of the Seeker: The Complete 2nd and Final Season wraps up the syndicated fantasy series. The action is based on Terry Goodkind’s The Sword of Truth novels. The Seeker and his assistants have to find the Stone of Tears to prevent giant cracks that are appearing around the world. It’s like Mighty Putty. But everyone isn’t on board for keeping the world from busting apart. There’s plenty of swords and magic action in each episode. Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert produced the series. They had previous made Hercules and Xena so they know how to make the fantasy look good on the small screen. Bonus features include a deeper look at Cara (Tabrett Bethell), a examination of the crew that make the TV magic and extended scenes. There’s an internet campaign to revive the series. Best thing to do is buy copies of the DVD and give them to friends as Christmas gifts. Money talks and emails get deleted.

  • Party Favors: Leggo My LEGOs

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    brickjournalCARLSBAD – LEGOs…those colorful blocks that snap together so easily. Many view them as a childhood toy, but they’re serious fun among collectors and adult builders. They can vacation at the American LEGOland. They can get those rare pieces at LEGO stores across the country in malls. LEGO video games featuring Star Wars, Batman and Indiana Jones are all the rage. Keeping up with what’s happening in LEGO is about as foreboding a task as your mother keeping up with your LEGOs.

    Joe Meno organizes the LEGO universe through BrickJournal magazine. The periodical announces upcoming products, events and how-to articles by top buildings. It’s a coffeetable magazine featuring all the LEGO pieces your kids lost under the sofa. The pages are addictive even for someone mildly interested in LEGO with illustrations that show how the plastic building blocks can snap into amazing works of art. For those who don’t want to clutter up their houses with paper products, BrickJournal can be viewed in electronic form.

    Seeing how Joe Meno and I worked together at N.C. State’s Technician newspaper, I dropped him an email to find out how he discovered the “Bliss Job” while I stumbled into a life of crime.

    PARTY FAVORS: What made you realize that BrickJournal could work as a magazine?

    MENO: BrickJournal started as an online publication, and on launch, it was downloaded by over 50,000 users – that was a pretty obvious sign that something was up.

    PARTY FAVORS: How much support do you get from LEGO?

    MENO: The LEGO Group provided me with seed money to start the magazine in 2005 and continue to provide support with stories and sales support by selling the mag in its stores. I constantly get information and story leads from them.

    PARTY FAVORS: What feature story has received the biggest response from readers?

    MENO: Good question. Surprising enough, I don’t get many letters. I tend to get most of my feedback at conventions. The biggest response has come from the sixth issue, which had reports on the design behind the Space sets that are now out.

    PARTY FAVORS: Is it relief to run a magazine that doesn’t have to put a Kardashian sister on the cover?

    MENO: Yes. One of the running jokes with the magazine staff is to find some way to put some sex appeal in the magazine. Because we are a family friendly magazine, though, that is something that is really frowned upon.

    PARTY FAVORS: Do you get people emailing you about the Eggo shortage?

    MENO: Nope – though I do get that when I am at non-LEGO events.

    PARTY FAVORS: How much time do you spend traveling around to various LEGO exhibitions?

    MENO: Between the US events and the European events, I am at 5 events stateside and 3 events overseas – so something about every 6 weeks.

    PARTY FAVORS: What sort of reaction did you get at Comic-Con? Do the booth babes like to talk LEGO action with you?

    MENO: During Comic-Con, I have done presentations, so I have a tiny bit of status. However, most of the time I look like any other person there. The booth babes pay me just as much mind as they would do anyone else, but some talk about LEGO. It’s really funny when people first encounter the magazine – it’s not taken seriously at first, then once they open the mag, they start talking about what they built as kids.

    PARTY FAVORS: What LEGO items get the most eyeballing at Comic Con?

    MENO: Usually the exclusive sets for the convention.

    PARTY FAVORS: How huge is Star Wars in the LEGO Universe?

    MENO: Star Wars is one of their big sellers, and got many adult builders (like me) back into the LEGO hobby.

    PARTY FAVORS: What is the most rare of the Star Wars set?

    MENO: Out of the production sets? hmmm, good question. There was a play set of Cloud City – it was the first set to introduce Lando Calrissian. It was only sold at the LEGO stores and in the catalog.

    PARTY FAVORS: Has anyone figured out how many LEGO bricks would be needed to create an actual size Death Star?

    MENO: No, and don’t even think about it!

    PARTY FAVORS: What’s the biggest object you’ve seen made out of LEGOs?

    MENO: 16.5 foot long aircraft carrier. With aircraft, electronics, and interior. Insane work.

    PARTY FAVORS: Are there other science fiction films that get Star Wars level LEGO love? Are there tributes to Alien or Battlestar Galactica on the horizon?

    MENO: Yes, but they are a little harder to find. Battlestar Galactica has been the subject of some great models (the Vipers) at conventions.

    PARTY FAVORS: What’s considered the most unpopular LEGO tie-in to a movie or TV show?

    MENO: Currently Ben 10. Before that, Galidor.

    PARTY FAVORS: Will they ever make LEGO sets paying tribute to Bea Arthur and Art Carney being in the Star Wars Holiday Special?

    MENO: Probably not, but sooner or later, a builder is going to take the plunge:-)!

    PARTY FAVORS: Has anyone made a LEGO bust of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory?

    MENO: Not yet. See above.

    PARTY FAVORS: What is the oddest thing you’ve seen created with LEGOs?

    MENO: Nudes. What was odd was not the nudes, but the fig leaves that had to be placed on them to keep them family friendly. Sad thing is, I had to request the fig leaves for a convention I was running.

    PARTY FAVORS: What was the first complicated thing you made out of LEGOs?

    MENO: Way back when I made submarines – 2nd grade or so. I was fascinated by Jacques Cousteau’s underwater voyages and read the books, so it was something of a natural jump to build little subs for my marine explorers.

    PARTY FAVORS: How much of your LEGO collection was vacuumed up by your mother?

    MENO: Not as much as was left behind when I came back to the US from Germany where my dad was stationed.

    To experience the LEGO love, visit www.brickjournal.com.

    LOBBYIST LOOT

    Casino Jack and the United States of Money hits the DVD shelf on Sept 14. Now you can figure out what the heck Jack Abramoff did with all the lobbyist cash. Director Alex Gibney straightens out the tangled tale of the man who ripped off Indian tribes and paid his way into the White House. Here’s an interview with producer Zena Barakat done at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, NC:

    NOOOOO!!!!!!

    How could the Cartoon Network stop making The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack? What am I supposed to watch in the wee hours during my detox cool down? Who will understand me when I shout, “Adventure!” Spongebob goes on for a decade, but his nautical cousin gets yanked at less than 50 episodes. It’s a crime. Thurop Van-Orman needs to work for Adult Swim on his next project. This means Brian Doyle-Murray now can focus on The Middle.

    MR MAYHEM

    Congratulations to Dean Winters for his Mayhem series of All State ads. He’s back to his wheelhouse of portraying chaotic evil on screen. He’s crashing cars, eating seats and looking sexy while jogging. You can’t help, but watch him bring the FightClub feel to the ad world. Before these 30 second epics, Winters greatest role was the Irish-American inmate Ryan O’Reilly on Oz. You never knew which way his character would go inside the Emerald City. In this pitchman role, he’s going to cause destruction on the road and around the house.

    What’s remarkable is a year ago Winters’ heart stopped for over two minutes. He had major surgery to survive. Now Dean is finally getting more attention than his time on 30 Rock and Rescue Me. If you enjoy his devious nature in the All State ads, get your hand on the Oz DVD sets. Here’s him as sexy jogger:

    NIGHTMARE

    I wake up to find Claire Robinson in my kitchen. She’s craves the fifth ingredient – my kidneys!

    SANDRA’S FAULT

    I’m sick of Hollywood getting behind Sandra Bullock in her divorce. If anyone is to blame for this tabloid ugliness, it’s Miss Congeniality. She’s the nice girl who married Jesse James, the biker outlaw. She’s the one who attempted to tame the pitbull into her precious lapdog. Should anyone be surprised that he wasn’t going to remain a clone of Father Knows Best for the rest of his life? Yet he’s the bad guy for not being her bitch. Why did he have to go to sex rehab to repair the relationship? If anything could have saved their marriage it would have been her going under the needle for extensive ink work. The man likes tattoos on his ladies. Why didn’t Sandy get her arms coated in Technicolor sleeves? She needed to do a little more giving in the relationship. Yet somehow she thought she could break him of that fetish. You can’t deny a man his core identity. At some point he’s going to revert to his true nature. She’s not a victim of a cheating husband. She’s the loser in a battle to break a man’s will.

    RAGING TURTLE

    Gamera is back with four of his eight Showa flicks finally getting the VIP treatment on DVD. For those needing a Mega-Monster fix, Gamera Double Feature DVDs are this Halloween’s must have collections. Forget those crummy discs that were lifted from low-fi AIP and Sandy Frank TV tapes. It’s time to upgrade to get the full effect of the massive radioactive turtle on the Cinemascope battlefields.

    Gamera Vs. Gyaos / Gamera Vs. Viras has the turtle battle a bat creature and an intergalactic squid. Gamera Vs. Gyaos was the first of his films I saw when it aired on WLVI-56 in Boston’s Creature Feature. That was the late night companion to the legendary afternoon Creature Double Feature. Those were the glory days of UHF stations before the birth of infomercials. Gyaos is a giant bat-like creature with a flat top head and spiked teeth. He shoots lasers out of his mouth. He cuts off one of Gamera’s hands. However the turtle does not qualify for a handicap parking tag since Gamera can regenerate body parts. There’s a little boy with a yellow cap that gets to fly around on the turtle’s shell. Even with the kiddie angle, the battles are fierce as countryside model sets get destroyed with extra zest. Gamera Vs. Viras lets aliens in a bumble bee color scheme UFO kidnap a pair of bratty boy scouts. It’s up to Gamera to get them out of trouble. The kids repay the favor by helping Gamera beat a giant squid monster. He doesn’t quite put up the fight on the level of Gyaos. These boy scouts really need to get their ranks pulled.

    Gamera Vs. Guiron / Gamera Vs. Jiger reminds us that Gamera is a friend to all children since kids are extremely involved in both adventures. Two boys stumble across an empty spaceship at the start of Guiron. They don’t even think about alerting the authorities. Instead they climb inside and start pushing buttons. This leads to them being transported across the galaxy to a planet where the monster Guiron dominates a futuristic society. Guiron has a knifeblade for a head and fires Ninja throwing stars. He butchers up a cousin of Gyaos. The evil women on the planet have evil plans for the boys. It’s up to Gamera to visit the planet and save the them. The things this turtle has to do to help children is rather annoying. Jiger takes us to the 1970 World’s Fair in Osaka. Why aren’t World’s Fairs cool anymore? After Knoxville, they just lost all steam. Imagine the surprise of the folks in Osaka when they also hosted a super monster battle? Jiger gets summoned to the site after idiots decided to locate the giant idol she protects on the fairgrounds. Gamera doesn’t have a chance battling her. The turtle gets frozen and something squirted down his throat. It’s up to two kids to use a mini-submarine to go inside Gamera to revive him. It’s like a life-size version of Fantastic Voyage. Can the kids get out before they’re digested?

    All four films feature both the Japanese soundtracks and their original English dubs that you heard on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Shout! Factory will announce a date on the Gamera Vs. Zigra and Gamera: Super Monster double feature set that wraps up the original run of Gamera before he was revived in the mid-90s. Remember that Gamera is extra cool since he had a guest shot on this season of Mad Men.

    DVD SHELF

    StarCrash: 2 -Disc Collector’s Edition – Roger Corman’s Cult Classics brings together the greatest talent in the universe in a movie that’s got a special effect that’s beyond Star Wars. Did you say, “What?” Nothing in George Lucas’ vision compares to the beauty of Caroline Munro saving the universe in a bikini and high-heeled boots. The British beauty plays Stella Star, an outlaw who is the only hope in battling the evil Joe Spinell (The Godfather and Rocky). She does get assistance from a robot that talks like Slim Pickens and the legendary Marjoe Gortner (creepy guy in Earthquake). Her goal is to rescue a young prince who would one day rule Germany – David Hasselhoff. The Hoff and Marjoe have a battle of the man perm locks. Their hairdos make stylists weep tears of joy. Of course the greatest reason to watch the film is the exotic Munro. She’s a Bond girl, a Hammer hottie and the lady with the eye on her hand from The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. She’s still hot since the bonus features include a recent interview with her. She has plenty of memories working on the Italian set with the mega stars. She’d go on to do two more films with Spinell: Maniac and Fanatic. Stephan Romano does an amazing job of telling the history of the film. The guy had to make two commentary tracks to give us the goods. He was working on a book, but this is so much better. Special Effects director Armando Valcauda gives us a pictorial history of his life and work on the film. Turns out he wrote Ray Harryhausen and Ward Kimball while learning his craft in Italy. There words inspired him. For those who adored StarCrash at the drive-in, prepare to be thrilled by a top notch transfer. There’s a Blu-ray version if you want to see Caroline Munro in 1080p. She’s so much hotter than Princess Leia and her bun braids.

    Flash Forward: The Complete Series captures what appeared to be the next big puzzle series since Lost was wrapping up. It had a great premise about everyone in the world passing out for 137 seconds. Why did it happen? What was being done as we all slept? The cast was top notch with Joseph Fiennes (Shakespeare in Love) and John Cho (Harold & Kumar Go to the White Castle) as FBI agents putting together the pieces. They even had Lost cast members Dominic Monaghan and Sonya Walger. The FBI discovers that during the blackout people get a glimpse of what will happen to them on a future date. The series only lasted 22 dates, luckily viewers aren’t quite left completely hanging. They do take us up to the Flash Forward date. The bonus features include deleted scenes and bloopers. They break down what it took to make the world black out. Make sure you don’t fall asleep while watching the show cause you’ll wonder what really happened while you were unconscious.

    NCIS: Los Angeles: The First Season contains the big freshman hit of the year. How could it not be a hit with the tag team of LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell. It’s the GOAT and Robin kicking ass as part of the NCIS Office of Special Projects force. The spin-off of the hit NCIS ramps up the action with the procedural. They go after spies, terrorists and mobsters that have proven to be a threat to our national security. The unit is led by Linda Hunt (Dune) in an outfit that makes her resemble Edith Head. The boxset contains the original introduction episodes, “The Legend” which aired on NCIS. The 24 season one episodes take us inside this crack unit that goes to extremes to stop the bad guys. LL and Chris look good when the pressure goes high. The bonus features explain the spin-off and tour the sets. There’s even the video for LL Cool J’s “No Crew Is Superior” along with the making of footage. Did you notice the song title’s initials are NCIS? That’s why he’s the GOAT.

    Brothers and Sisters: The Complete Fourth Season takes us inside the Walker family of Pasadena. See what happens on the days when the town isn’t shut down for the Rose Parade. The family is involved in Ojai Foods. Sally Field is the matriarch with an extended family that includes Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal), Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under) and Patricia Wettig (thirtysomething). Like all good primetime soap operas, this season provides plenty of thrills, scandals and dark revelations. The big thing is the company might have cooked books. The only thing that can save them is their latest wine. If it doesn’t win big awards, they’re going to be wearing barrels. Later there’s a hunt for matching bone marrow. It wouldn’t be a season without a confusing wedding. This is the last season for Rob Lowe since he’s jumping over to Parks and Recreation on a rival network. Deleted scenes and bloopers are on the bonus features. There’s plenty of featurettes showing how the cast have bonded over the years. Plus there’s footage of the fourth season’s red carpet premiere.

    Criminal Minds: The Fifth Season gives more cases from the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. Thomas Gibson (Eyes Wide Shut) and Joe Mantegna (The Simpsons) attempt to out think serious evil doers. “Nameless, Faceless” opens the season with the cliffhanger about a killer going after an emergency room doctor. “Reckoner” takes Mantegna back to his hometown since a hitman is icing the neighborhood guys. “Hopeless” suggests a group of people are thrill killing in Washington D.C. Later they’d be called “The Death Panel.” “Cradle to Grave” is extra creepy with their target knocking up his victims and killing them after they give birth. “Risky Business” suggests kids in Wyoming are killing themselves after being on the internet. They get the internet in Wyoming? “A Thousand Words” has the team deciphering a killer’s tattoos to find where he’s hidden his final victim. “The Internet Is Forever” lets a serial killer find victims and post their murders online. This cop show really hates the internet. The 23 episodes on 6 DVDs.

    The Guardian: The Second Season give us the middle season of Simon Baker’s first major American TV series. Before he was The Mentalist, Baker was a lawyer who had to work off 1,500 hours of community service for being busted for his drugs. He gets assigned working with kids. Between the pressures of working for his father’s law firm and the community service, he might go back to the drugs. His cold dad is Dabney Coleman (Buffalo Bill). The big guest star of the season is Farrah Fawcett (Charlie’s Angels). She’s hooked up with Dabney. How can she resist the Guardian and go for grandpa? Will Ferrell plays an attorney in “All the Rage.” Baker’s a little more intense in The Guardian than his glib Mentalist character. But it does show he’s got hard dramatic chops. The 23 episodes are spread over 6 DVDs.

    The Good Wife: The First Season was a surprise hit since it seemed doomed to be one of those “how could this fail” series. The movie was torn from today’s headlines as Chris Noth gets sent to prison as part of a sex and corruption scandal (like John Edwards will be doing in the near future). His wife (E.R.’s Julianna Margulies) goes back to being a lawyer in order to support her two kids. How could she not know her man was going to be in a sex scandal since his campaign manager is Alan Cumming (Spice World)? The show has a few favorite faces recurring including Peter Riegert (Boon from Animal House). Gary Cole (Midnight Caller) pops up as a ballistics expert that has his aim set on Christine Baranski, the senior partner of the wife’s law firm. Margulies keeps this show from devolving into a lifetime wife screwed special. The bonus features including deleted scenes, commentary tracks, behind the scenes featurettes and a look at recent real political scandals. At least her husband wasn’t exposed as wearing diapers while seeing hookers. The 23 episodes come on 6 DVDs.

    Grey’s Anatomy: The Complete Sixth Season marks the end of Katherine Heigl as Dr. Izzie vanishes half way through this collection. After nearly a season and a half of issues, she was finally written off so she could spend more time making movies your girlfriend will watch repeatedly on HBO OnDemand. The season opens with the staff feeling the death of George (T. R. Knight). But things don’t remain too depressing as the medical staff gives themselves an IV drip of Spanish Fly. Even after six seasons, these people still get turned on in their scrubs. Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey are still frisky even after getting married. There is plenty of medical emergencies including saving a patient that’s parents want to donate $25 million to the hospital. Pop tarts guest star with Mandy Moore and Demi Lovato checking into the facility. Kate Walsh returns for a Private Practice crossover episode. The big bonus is Seattle Grace: On Call – 6 Webisodes. See how the little doctors live.

    Private Practice: The Complete Third Season allows the spin-off of Grey’s Anatomy to also spin a character into the grave. I won’t spoil it for folks who wait till the DVD sets to watch a series, but it’s a extremely dramatic death with a lot of jeopardy for a spouse. Nothing happens without drama in a medical soap opera. Chandra Wilson from Grey’s makes a crossover visit to help with a surgery. Kate Walsh finally hooks up full time with Tim Daly which causes custody drama with his ex-wife. She’s not happy that the nice lady doctor wants to be her daughter’s new friend. The stress of this ends up with Kate hooking up with Taye Diggs – who didn’t see this coming from the first season? The question of will this romance last gets tested by the tragic demise of one of the main cast members. It’s carnal lust wrapped up in human carnage. The boxset includes Kate Walsh talking about her favorite moments, deleted scenes and bloopers.

    Woodshop brings a comic touch to the most fearful course in high school: Shop Class. An honor’s student is about to have his Ivy League dreams destroyed when a disaster in the science lab implodes his GPA. He makes a deal to endure a Saturday in shop class to wipe out his failure. What the brainiac didn’t calculate was enduring Mr. Madson (Jesse Ventura) and unbalanced classmates. This is Breakfast Club meets The Toolbox Murders. There’s a proper mixture of fear and laughs around the discarded wood pile. This is Ventura’s finest work since he had act like Hulk Hogan could wrestle. Mitch Pileggi (The X-Files) also appears. The sad news is this was the final performance of Don S. Davis. He’d become a cult favorite with his roles as Major Garland Briggs on Twin Peaks and his promotion to Major General Hammond on Stargate SG-1. He’s the principal who strikes the deal with the disgraced honor student. You can pick up the DVD or check your cable’s Video OnDemand service to relive the horror that comes from the drill press in the hands of a high schooler.

    Wall Street: The Insider Trading Edition brings us back to that time when greed was good. In preparation for the upcoming Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps film, the original Oliver Stone pic gets a brand new edition. This is the story of a young man (Charlie Sheen) who gets lost under the spell of an investment titan (Michael Douglas). At first he is the dutiful student, but he slowly wants to find capitalism with a heart. He realizes money isn’t everything. You have to watch out for the workers at these companies. Damn shame this was a fictional film cause we probably wouldn’t be in this fix if the soulless vampires of Goldman Sachs had taken this to heart. The bonuses include a Wall Street Fact Exchange Scrolling Trivia Track and a featurette meant to excite you over the upcoming return of Gordon Gekko. What’s thrilling about the original is Charlie Sheen being full of potential instead of a tabloid trainwreck.

    Janeane Garofalo: If You Will returns the former Air America and 24/7 object of Bill O’Reilly’s hatred to the comedy stage. She’s cracking jokes on stage at Seattle’s Moore Theater. She admits to her commitment to spanx. She lives in them. She confesses to being asexual to the undelight of her boyfriend. The new lifestyle has allowed her to blow off time wasting things like shaving her legs. This revelation is shocking since she was my major crush from 1994-1999. I didn’t stalk her, but ran into her in a comedy club on Pedro. She was nice to me even though I was plotting a sandwich using her and Sarah Silverman. They were both there. If only they had Ax body spray back then. Back to the new Janeane with buff arms. She claims you can get hand cancer from cellphones. The is a good tip about visiting a website dedicated to a woman farting on cakes. She confesses to being clueless about the computer jargon she used on 24. What an actress. She does get political when she warns Interpol that they might do a better job stopping genocide around the world if they weren’t also filling their plate stopping DVD bootlegs. Her routine doesn’t turn into a leftie version of a Glenn Beck rally. She’s talking about finger banging, dog parks and old women with “Ask Me About My Grandchildren” sweatshirts. She might be the last female comic to not constantly talk about “her gays.” The bonus includes a few snipped jokes. For those who dug Janeane’s reflection on life back in the ’90s, she’s returned. Although you still won’t want to show this when your Fox News fanatic grandmother is in the room.

  • Party Favors: Zenph Is My Co-Pilot

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    WAKEFIELD, NC – Deep in the woods of Raleigh, I felt the ghost of Glenn Gould. He’s been dead since 1982, but there he was at a grand piano playing the first of Bach’s The Goldberg Variations.

    His body wasn’t hunched over the keyboard on his collapsible chair. He wasn’t humming away as he played. But it was unmistakably Gould. The keys of the Yamaha DCFIIIAPRO were stuck in his iconic way. His music filled the classical music concert hall covered in maple and cherry wood.

    How can this be? Who conjured the Canadian classical music genius? Zenph Sound Innovations figured a way to make dead fingers play. This isn’t merely a piano roll, fake stereo treatment or a new noise reduction that goes beyond Dolby.

    There is no other way to describe the technological miracle except in spiritual terms. This is the closest we’ll ever get to truly experience Gould without Zenph inventing a time machine. Dr. John Q. Walker and his team developed a program that can take a sound recording, isolate the various instruments, accurately determine the notes and timing and put them through a Yamaha piano with the ability to exactly play the recorded notes with the proper timing and inflection.

    This isn’t like that rickety player piano they had at Shakey’s Pizza. It’s not just playing notes like your elderly music teacher insisted. This computerized system replicates the emotion found in the art. It revives the nuance, the timing, the sorrow and the joy given the music by the original musician. If this isn’t quite making sense, here’s a little video about the magic they are doing in the concert hall that’s part of Walker’s house.

    Does that help you grasp what Zenph is about? And what an amazing concert space. When we went from his kitchen into the music room, it was like roaming around the TARDIS.

    Walker introduced Art Tatum’s as his next “guest.” During the song, the piano gave itself thundering key slaps as if a hand whacked them. Tatum’s music goes beyond the piano when his playing gets transferred into a techno dance song. The thing is that after several hours of the artist’s work is digitized into the computer, the program can decipher the artist’s style. This allows the computer to determine how they’d play a new piece of music. How do you think Glenn Gould would play Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance?” The answer might be coming. Zenph allows the artist lives through his art and stakes a claim to the present. Someday Sun Ra might return from Saturn with Zenph as his co-pilot.

    The biggest thing they’re doing now is letting the artist reclaim his past. When Sergei Rachmanioff recorded in 1921, he wasn’t captured with an electric microphone. They used a horn and recorded directly onto the master disc. It was a very primitive process with barely any audio dynamics. Zenph was able to take this limited resource to allow the piano to truly play what Rachmanioff’s hands touched that day nearly 80 years ago. Instead of making excuses and accepting limitations, the robot piano gave us the majesty of the Master. The quiet passages are no longer buried under the crackle of a 78 shellac. The beauty shines. A strange bi-product of the process is the computer creates accurate sheet music. Zenph discovered that Rachmanioff held back on nearly 30 percent of the notes between what he published and what he played. Classic music publishers are extremely excited about finally getting the real deal to sell.

    Zenph is creating methods to recreate a variety of instruments instead of just sticking to the piano. They’ve recreated a plucked double bass using a strange device from Germany that looks like a Tesla creation. We were treated to a virtual duet featuring Ray Brown on the techno double bass and Oscar Peterson on the robot piano. In the future, you can have all star bands with ghosts mingling with their breathing members. This isn’t merely the trick of playing along with an old tape of a dead artist. The missing musicians won’t be limited by their past. Soon there might be singing. Voice is the one thing they really want to crack. Imagine how it would be to finally liberate Enrico Caruso from his 10 inch cell? This is a few years down the road so don’t line up for Kate Smith sings Kiss yet.

    Zenph is not merely working in the concept. They’ve already released several records under their “Re-performance” title that have been Grammy nominated. Violinist Joshua Bell has a duet with Rachmaninoff. For the Glenn Gould Re-performance of the 1955 version of Goldberg Variations, they placed stereo microphones where Gould’s head would have been. When you put on the headphones, you’re hearing what Gould heard behind the keyboard. They’ve also taken their show on the road to let audiences hear a glorious sound that goes beyond Memorex. Their Art Tatum: Piano show at the Apollo in 2008 had actor Paul Butler (Crime Story) as a club owner working with Tatum’s ghost at they keyboard. By the end of the run, the place was packed. How would the artist feel about such an event? Glenn Gould quit touring at the height of his fame in 1964. He hated the touring process. It’s pretty much certain he would have sent out the robot piano to collaborate with symphonies around the world. If you want to see the technology in a concert setting, Zenph is planning a show at New York’s Lincoln Center.

    Zenph represents a strange new world of music where an artist is no longer limited by their recording technique. They’re no longer limited by death. They can continue to have an active career working with the top artists of the day. Sting has expressed interest in a duet with Louis Armstrong. I couldn’t help thinking the ultimate band to devise a complete album with this technology is Steely Dan. Walter Becker and Donald Fagen could allow themselves to be haunted with the ghosts of jazz and classical greats without being overwhelmed. Now there’s no reason they can’t play with their idols instead of merely paying tribute to them. Although eventually Walter and Donald would be the ghosts for the next pair of cynical kids eager for a collaboration.

    This isn’t all about superstars being revived. The technology can become personal with the ability to upload tapes of a loved one to hear them play once more on your home piano. We always say art is immortal, but now people can truly become immortal thanks to their musical artistry thanks to Zenph. At the end of the presentation, I kept looking around to see Thomas Newton lurking behind curtains.

    PAWNDERING

    How can TruTV run a series called Hardcore Pawn that isn’t about Ron Jeremy selling off various parts of his collection? The new series that’s going after the Pawn Stars audience is about a Pawn store in Detroit. How depressing. Maybe we’ll get to see how much dreams and an Edsel hubcap fetch? Although this concept could have worked with Kid Rock unloading Pam Anderson’s used strap-on collection. Or Iggy Pop seeing how much he can get for his “first edition” groupies.

    COMING SOON

    When will we get to see Scott Pilgrim Versus Michael Cera’s Clone Army? Or maybe just Michael Cera Versus a Door Knob?

    THAT DOESN’T RING

    How come in Goodnight Moon, the bunny refuses to say goodnight to his telephone? Who leaves a telephone next to a little kid’s bed? This simple book has so many questions. How am I supposed to sleep without the answers?

    FOOD OF THE GODS

    The fine people of Food Lion have put Quisp back in the cereal aisle. The cereal is a spin-off of Cap’n Crunch. It’s just retro joy in my stomach. Run down and get a box so they’ll keep stocking the outer space morning surprise.

    Now if only someone would revive Freakies.

    Also be quick as Mountain Dew Throwback is delivering the sugar coated goodness. Expect to see blowback from the corn syrup lobby.

    ALIEN AROUND THE CORNER

    Can they hear you scream in 1080p?

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Dexter: The Fourth Season was the reason to have cable last year. The Showtime series had its best season yet. Dexter has become sleep deprived with the arrival of his baby. He’s now a father and husband. It’s eating against his serial killer nature. He’s supposed to be a lone wolf. He attempts to get back in the killing game when he meets the Trinity Killer (John Lithgow). Instead of merely killing the killer, Dexter assumes an identity to learn how this guy manages being a husband, father and sociopath. Their friendship goes really wrong. Dexter is a show that just improves with each season. Lithgow makes you forget he was ever in Third Rock from the Sun. The 1080p imagine brings out the details when Lithgow and Michael C. Hall goes the distance. You might want to watch this on a weekend cause you aren’t going to want to go to bed early or wake up for work. You’ll also feel queasy when driving past a Habitat For Humanity site.

    CORMAN-VISION

    The latest batch of Roger Corman Cult Classics has arrived and it’s worthy of Drive-In glory. This series from Shout! Factory covers his output at New World that covered the 1970s and the early ’80s. He quickly created a studio that rivaled American International Pictures in the world of low budget cinema. They’ve created fresh transfers off the original film elements so these look so much better than the previous video releases.

    Piranha: Special Edition is much better than this upcoming Piranha 3D. Joe Dante established himself as a director who knew how to mix dark humor and grotesque violence without diffusion. A military scientist has created intelligent piranha that can swim outside the Amazon river. A couple stupid people release them into a river. They head downstream to a kiddie summer camp and a brand new aquatic park. There’s more blood and guts in this film than Jaws. The great Richard Deacon even appears in the film. Paul Bartel was robbed of Oscar glory for his uptight camp counselor that wants all the kids in the water – no excuses. This Special Edition brings together all the bonus features of previous DVDs along with more extras to juice up the experience. The Making of documentary lets Joe talk about how his budget got slashed right before the shoot. Even under such tight restraints, he figured out how to shoot around water without turning into Waterworld.

    Humanoids From the Deep is an eco-horror film. Turns out a local salmon fishery has been messing with hormones. Instead of bigger fish, the science creates mutant underwater men that are intent on two things: killing men and breeding with women. But the most horrifying thing on the screen is the perm on Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears). He’s a redneck fisherman who doesn’t like the local Indians. He uses the aqua-attacks as a disguise to go after the friends of Doug McClure (The Land that Time Forgot). The action explodes during the Salmon festival on the docks. The monsters attack Miss Salmon and she fights back. Turns out the original director cut back on the monsters’ breeding moments so Corman sent a second crew to capture the unnatural bonding. This also explains why there’s no director’s commentary. But there are dozens of interviews including composer James Horner. Even though he’s made a fortune with the soundtracks of Titanic and Avatar, he remains proud of his Humanoid notes. If you only see one film about mutant salmon, let it be Humanoids From the Deep.

    Deathsport/BattleTruck Double Feature is perfect for a post-apocalyptic night out. Deathsport brings back David Carradine for more futuristic wheeled mayhem after Death Sport 2000. He’s part of a modern primitive society that gets kidnapped by a technoid group. They force him and Claudia Jennings (Gator Bait) to enter the arena to be slaughtered by guards on supercycles. But the duo aren’t going down like that. Not only do they win, they escape with the bikes. This turns into a complicated pursuit that doesn’t quite make sense, but who cares. I recommend a few drinks before hitting play. The commentary track lets the director explain the behind the scenes issues with the shoot. BattleTruck was made in New Zealand at the same time The Road Warrior was being shot. This isn’t a rip-off although it involves a huge truck and a fight for gas. Michael Beck (The Warriors and Xanadu) is the loner who can help the downtrodden locals from a menacing gang that steals gas. One of the downtrodden is John Razenberger (Cliff from Cheers). The film looks great since the DP is two time Oscar winner Chris Menges (The Killing Fields and The Mission).

    DVD SHELF

    Max Headroom: The Complete Series finally lets me see the show without it being on a decade old crummy dupe tape from Bravo. What a great series. Edison Carter (Matt Frewer) zips around a decaying society that has been zombie-ized by cable news networks. Sounds pretty much like today. He gets his memory scanned into a computer which evolves into the computer generated Max Headroom. They only made 14 episodes. They don’t have the British pilot movie: 20 Minutes Into the Future. This was remade as the “Blipverts” episode so you’re only missing out on the English cast that wasn’t brought to ABC. While Shout! Factory couldn’t license the numerous Max Headroom related video like his New Coke commercials, they interview so many folks to give a complete oral portrait of the faux-CGI talking head. The series really gets extremely scathing about what TV channels will do in the future although it didn’t predict flat screens.

    Ugly Betty: The Complete Fourth and Final Season is a bit of a shock. How could a show that started out with such a head of steam completely collapse? It’s not like they cut Betty’s hair. Doesn’t help when the network decides to move the show to Friday nights (home of the corpses). They do give Betty a promotion to associate features editor at Mode magazine. The finale has more nervous news. In the end, this shouldn’t have been too much of surprise since the magazine market is suffering. Think of how many titles have vanished from the airport newstand. At least they didn’t cast Anthony Anderson as the new publisher (he’s the 21st Century Ted McGinley).

    Cougar Town: The Complete First Season finally lets Courteney Cox unleash her inner vixen. She’s a new divorcee eager to make up for all the time she was stuck being the good wife and mother. She’s ready to work all the young men in her Florida town. She’s a desperate housewife without all the soap opera. The only thing that causes tension in her life is when a young guy says he loves her. She’s not eager to return to that life. Although she’s got no problem getting a little action from her ex-husband. The show was created by the guy behind Scrubs so it has that quirky factor going in the comedy. This is so much better than Dirt.

    Numb3rs: The 6th Season is really the final season. This was the last go around for the math based FBI show starring Rob Morrow, David Krumholtz and Judd Hirsch. The producers bring the show to an end with major betrayals and bumps in the 16 episodes. Morrow ends up losing his gun. The people who find it go on a crime spree. Is this ugliness going to ruin his engagement? There’s lots of brutal crimes with brainy solutions. John Michael Higgins pops up on “Dreamland.” Lou Diamond Phillips (La Bamba) takes one of Morrow’s men hostage to prove he’s innocent in “Ultimatum.” Henry Winkler (The Fonz) gets brought back to help on the DB Cooper case. Believe it or no, William Katt (Greatest American Hero) appears in “And the Winner Is….” A good run for a show that made geeks capture goons.

    90210: The Second Season brings us back for more high school dramatics at West Beverly. The CW series does a good job at updating the ’90s late night soap by letting the kids text message and talk about youtube. Naomi Clark (AnnaLynne McCord) rebounds from her break up by hooking up with a married guy. That’s got to be nasty when you have to tell your wife that you need to attend your mistress’s JV Prom. Even in this free living part of America, the kids still get upset when their steadies kiss the wrong person. There’s pregnancy and cancer scares hitting them. The final episode has Mr. Cannon sexually assaults Naomi. Who will believe her side of the story? There’s 22 episodes spread over 6 DVDs.

    NCIS: The Complete 7th Season once more makes me feel happy that David McCallum is on a hit series. His role as Medical Examiner Ducky Mallard has lasted longer than his iconic tenure on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. The unit is run by Mark Harmon so David’s not carrying the show. The season starts off with Ziva being released after her capture where terrorists wanted to know about NCIS. “Reunion” murders three guests at a bachelor party including a hanging, alcohol poisoning and a toilet drowning. This can’t be a coincidence. “Child’s Play” has a military intelligence officer using baby geniuses to crack codes. The end of the season has Mexican druglord action. Everybody wants a piece of NCIS. The bonus features include Cast Roundtable, 150th Episode, and a commentary track with Mark Harmon, Arvin Brown & Gary Glasberg. The 24 episodes are spread over 6 DVDs.

    The Good Heart brings together Paul Dano (There Will Be Blood) and Brian Cox (Zodiac) as two unlikely friends. They meet up in the intensive care unit of a hospital when the homeless Paul hangs himself and the cranky tavern owner Brian has his fifth heart attack. While mending the two bond. Brian decides this wayward youth might be the perfect person to mold into the future tavern owner. There’s a lot of learning moments for Paul since Brian has major rules when it comes to the business. The place is a complete dive with nothing to fancy for his regulars. Paul breaks the number one rule of what makes a success when he gets involved with Isild Le Besco. She’s a French stewardess who has been overcome by a fear of flying. It’s three damaged people inside a decaying bar. Cox and Dano need to work again in a cleaner space.

    George A. Romero’s Survival of the Dead: 2- Disc Ultimate Undead Edition brings more zombie nation action to the screen. Over 40 years after his Night of the Living Dead, Romero keeps up the creep action. This time we’re taken to Plum Island where two families feud over what to do with the walking dead. One side wants to kill them while the other holds out hope for “curing” them. How can you cure a zombie other than leaving them in a smoke house with a salt coating? The families are like the Hatfields and the McCoys in the time of zombies. Can there be peace on this island between the living people? What really matters is the numerous cool ways the Romero has the zombies and a few of the living snuffed. The bonus action on this set includes the documentary “Walking After Midnight,” lots of footage of Romero at work, the HDNet special and a guide to creating your own zombie bite. Who wouldn’t want to wear a zombie bite for Halloween?

  • Party Favors: News Harsh

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    HAMSTERDAM, MD – News at 4:20. As part of the celebration for the upcoming season of Weeds, Glick University polled over 4,000 Americans about what TV News personalities they wanted to see get high during a broadcast.

    Naturally there were ground rules including the disqualifications of news organizations that contain notorious on air potheads. This meant no votes were collected for the cast of The Daily Show, Colbert Report and Fox and Friends. You think Steve Doocey is sober? Hard to think that any of those folks have eyes that aren’t pied 24-7.

    10, Bill O’Reilly (Fox News) had a lot of folks who reacted that it’d be like, “Dude, I’m getting high with dad.” Of course this initial elation is cut down with the horrifying fact of “Dude, I’m getting high with dad and it’s just not someone I need to party with.”

    Rick Sanchez (CNN) had plenty of folks wanting to know what it’d be like to get him smoked up and then zap him with a taser.

    Larry King (CNN) had many of the ladies want to use his suspenders as roach clips.

    Dylan Ratigan (MSNBC) got a lot of pity votes from people who think he needs to calm down with a little smoke. Dylan better plan letting his bong get a cap and trade agreement.

    6 Maria Bartiromo (CNBC) since everything goes smooth with the Money Honey.

    Anderson Cooper (CNN) messing up his hair was the big preoccupation. Plus they figure he could use his reporter vest as a stash.

    George Stephanopoulos (ABC) hit it big with numerous people wanting him to get so wasted that he can’t even pronounce his last name.

    3. Katie Couric (CBS) want to see if she can make a bong out of Edward R. Murrow’s old microphone.

    2 Rachel Maddow (MSNBC) just to get her blushing.

    Glenn Beck cornered the market on votes. People wanted to see him go all freaky conspiracy theory with each toke. “Have you ever see the back of a Constitution… on WEED?” Most of his voters also believed after he gets a buzz, Beck will call every connection he had during his morning Zoo days and make it a blizzard in July.

    Season Six of Weeds starts off August 16 on Showtime.

    CLEVELAND ROCKED

    For all those people in Cleveland whining about LeBron James leaving, shut up. You lost your true cultural genius when Harvey Pekar died. The only thing going for your city is Iron Chef Michael Symon. If he takes his pork plates to a bigger city, you might as well set the river on fire and walk away. Pekar’s American Splendor comic books made me like okra.

    MEL’S COMEBACK

    Party Favors Pictures is proud to announce we’ve just signed Mel Gibson to star in The Burning Bed 2: His Side of the Flames. This is going to be gold. He’s already agreed to sponsor a line of Mel Gibson Valentine’s Day cards. Mel knows what women want to hear.

    ENOUGH

    What cable channel in their right mind wants to make a reality show out of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston? Do we really need to promote these famewhores who have turned their illegitimate baby into a cottage industry? Is this what really needs to be promoted in today’s culture? What’s the message of this show? That we want to make a “marriage” work for the sake of our TV careers? Can’t these people get jobs at Wal-Mart or Bob’s Salmon canning factory like their classmates? Must all their earning possibilities be tied directly to their tabloid induced profile?

    MTV has already corned the market on high school sweethearts with babies. The only reason Levi got attention was his ability to trash talk Sarah Palin. Now he’s Grizzly Mom’s bitch boy. Who cares? After Bristol’s craptacular acting debut, she’s really not ready to perform on a “reality” show. She’s no Tori Spelling.

    We’ve pretty much gotten rid of Heidi and Spencer with the cancellation of The Hills. Let’s keep these Alaskan Dimwits off the Boob Tube.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Yo Joe! G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero: The Movie kicks off with a massive battle between Cobra and the Joes around the Statue of Liberty. With all the bullets and lasers, how exactly did the landmark not end up looking like Lindsay Lohan? All the major characters and action figures get screen time. Don Johnson (Miami Vice) voices the new guy who needs to be whipped into shape. There’s only one man who can do that: pro wrestler Sgt. Slaughter. Cobra-La makes its presence known with it’s leader voiced by Burgess Meredith (Batman‘s The Penguin). The Blu-ray transfer cleans up the artwork. It’s like they’re flipping the cells right on the screen. This is much better than last summer’s live action G.I. Joe movie. Writer Buzz Dixon provides the commentary track. He lets us know the evil stories about Cobra Commander slapping the craft service guy over a raisin bagel. The best bonus feature is eight “Knowing Is Half the Battle” PSAs. They also provide a DVD of the movie so you can watch it in the car.

    DVD SHELF

    The Bong Joon-jo Collection proves that the South Korean director of The Host isn’t a one genre guy. He can do more than a mysterious monster attacking the city. The boxset contains The Host, Mother and Barking Dogs Never Bite. Mother is a legal thriller about son getting busted for murder. His mother swears he’s innocent and only guilty because of a lame lawyer and evil cops. She does her own investigation and gets an eyeful of what her son was doing without her. It’s an intense family thriller that keeps up the tension. Barking Dogs Never Bite is Bong Joon-jo’s first feature. The film is a dark comedy about a grad student tired of the barking dogs owned by the neighbors. If you hate your neighbor’s yapping mutt, you’ll be rooting for the insanity. All three films can be bought separately as well as in the boxset. Boon Joon-jo is a cinematic chameleon going from big monsters to little dogs without losing a beat.

    Hawaii Five-O: The Ninth Season opens with the return of evil Chinese agent Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh). He orchestrates the heist of dangerous toxins at the University of Hawaii. When Steve McGarrett (Jack Lord) goes to Hong Kong in pursuit of Wo Fat, he loses his home court advantage. “Oldest Profession: Latest Price” has a pimp thinning out the hookers on the island. How is Ned Beatty involved? “Heads, You’re Dead” is based on the true crime of people who sign up as crew members on luxury yachts only to mutiny, kill the owners and resell the boats. The Five-O crew has to go undercover. “The Bells Toll at Noon” dares to let Rich Little impersonate a man out to kill all those responsible for a girl’s overdose. “Dealer’s Choice – Blackmail” brings us John Ritter (Three’s Company) as a gambler in a mess of problems and a cop sister. “Blood Money Is Hard to Wash” places Jo Anne Worley in a football team profit skimming scheme. Hawaii Five-O is still in it’s Island Justice groove. There’s only three seasons of the original left to be released.

    Galaxy of Terror – Roger Corman Cult Classics is a mix of Alien and Love Boat. A crew is woken up for an emergency mission on a strange planet. They encounter their worst fear in the dark and shadowy settlement. Sound familiar? No need to look up since the spaceship is loaded with stars. Erin Moran (Happy Days), Ray Walston (My Favorite Martian), Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street), Sid Haig (Devil’s Rejects), Grace Zabriskie (Big Love) and Zalman King (Red Show Diaries) are the crew. What’s more astounding is the production designer was James Cameron with Bill Paxton doing set decorating. Think of all the talent on a Roger Corman set. The strange thought is how a few years after making this knock off movie, Cameron was in the director’s chair for Aliens. It’s almost a dress rehearsal for him. The bonus features including various cast and crew talking about working with Cameron. Other bonus features focus on how they made this low budget intergalactic hell in a lumberyard. There’s also a Blu-ray with all the goodies.

    Forbidden World: Roger Corman’s Cult Classics should not be confused with Forbidden Planet. Although it could slightly be confused with Galaxy of Terror. Director Allan Holzman told Roger Corman he had a movie idea based on the sets of the previous film. Roger still had the camera package and sent the plucky editor off to prove himself with a marathon one day shoot. After the first seven minutes were shot, Allan was given the green light to make a feature film. A bounty hunter arrives at a remote science lab on a distant planet. They need his help with an experiment known as Subject 20. Before you get grossed out with the mutant carnage, prepare to enjoy the nearly naked Dawn Dunlap and June Chadwick who hate their lab coats. These ladies get sweaty while hunting down the monster so naturally they need to shower. Not to spoil the movie, but the ladies do find the soap. The major bonus feature is the original director’s cut. Corman didn’t like the humor and snipped a few minutes before the theatrical release. There are plenty of interviews with the cast and crew about the film. If you want the 1080p glory, pick up the Blu-ray. Here’s a trailer of the film when it was released as Mutant.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000: XVIII presents another four movies enhances with the wisecrack of a space traveler and his robot pals. “Lost Continent” brings the savage glory of rock climbing. Even with a cast headed by Hugh Beaumont (Leave It to Beaver and Cesar Romero (Batman‘s Joker), the rock climbing is terminal. There are dinosaurs. Joel discovers Hugh Beaumont is the fourth rider of the apocalypse. “Crash of the Moons” is three episodes of the Rocky Jones series. The best casting is John Banner (Hogan’s Heroes‘ Sgt. Schlutz). Jack Frost is a Soviet fairytale with high production status and freaky plotlines. The Beast of Yucca Flats is Tor Johnson’s greatest cinema work outside of Ed Wood films. He’s a Soviet scientist that gets caught in an atomic blast. The bonus feature includes a documentary about how the film was made. The best on the DVD is the short “Progress Island, U.S.A.” about setting up a factory in Puerto Rico. Mike Nelson and the Bots make even Ricky Martin cry with their wisecracks.

    Sgt. Bilko – The Phil Silvers Show: Season One finally gives the military insanity properly. A few years ago they put out a nice compilation set, but that merely made me hungry for all 4 seasons of the iconic series. Sgt. Bilko (Silvers) is the ultimate hustler on Fort Baxter. He’s got every racket covered with the help of Harvey Lembeck (Beach Party) and Allan Melvin (The Brady Bunch). Cards, dice, booze, dances and every form of vice is provided by this leader of the outlandish. That’s not to say he wins every battle of wits, but he gets more than he gives. If you’re a fan of Hogan’s Heroes and Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C., you must partake of the glory that is Sgt. Bilko. The 34 episodes are spread over 5 DVDs. The bonus features include original cast commercials, the audition footage and commentary tracks from Melvin and George Kennedy. They even toss in a Lucy Show episode with Phil Silvers as the guest star.

    Matlock: The Fifth Season brings more of deep fried legal thrilling from Andy Griffith. He’s the down home lawyer in Atlanta that loves his banjo and hotdogs. The show is set up this season so we know the killer before Matlock gets the case. “The Mother” has a woman get upset when her boss decides she’s not cutting it as his mistress. The boss ends up dead and the girl’s mom takes the fall. Matlock represents the mom, but doesn’t want her to make the false confession. “Nowhere to Turn” has Matlock charged with killing a judge that slapped him with a contempt of court. “The Madam” has Matlock hanging out with hookers that kill. “The Brothers” makes us ponder if you can convict a man on eyewitness testimony if he has a twin brother. It’s almost a Nip/Tuck episode since the murder victim is a plastic surgeon. “The Critic” has a legit theater reviewer dead and the main suspect be a horrible playwright. Will the screenwriter allow his peer to be the real killer? The highlight of the show is when Don Knotts appears as Matlock’s pal. It’s a mini Andy Griffith Show reunion worth of a smile on Abe Simpson’s face.

    The Lucy Show: The Official Second Season brings color and Mr. Mooney. While the series was still being broadcast in black and white on CBS, Lucy sprung for glorious Technicolor. Now you can enjoy the wacky red head with actual red in her hair. There were major changes for Lucille Ball’s follow up to I Love Lucy. Mr. Mooney (Gail Gordon) was in charge of her late husband’s trust fund. Many of the episodes dealt with her begging for an advance on the money. Vivian Vance (I Love Lucy‘s Ethel Mertz) is still her divorcee roommate. The two get in plenty of trouble. Their kids get less screen time. The bonus features include cast commercials which mainly feature the kids and Viv pushing soap. There’s an interview with Barry Livingston about his working with William Frawley and Vivian Vance during this time. The big extra is a special Lucy did with Bob Hope that spoofs her running Desilu studio. It’s a fine present for the Lucy fanatic in your life.

    The Superhero Squad Show: Volume 1, Quest for the Infinity Sword is Muppet Babies for Marvel Superheroes. What happens when the world’s biggest superheroes are drawn as little kids? It’s backyard mayhem in Super Hero City. There’s mini versions of Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Falcon and Silver Surfer battling a mini-Dr. Doom and other tiny baddies. There’s a lot of humor in the scripts. It’s kinda like Tiny Toons in tone. The Cartoon Network series is aimed for the kids. Volume 1 covers the first seven episodes. This is a fun show to introduce the Marvel universe to a small child without overwhelming them with the adult mythology. The bonus feature is an interview with Stan Lee. He’s the geek version of Betty White.

    Sabrina the Teenage Witch: The Final Season wraps up the magical series that starred Nick Bakay as a talking cat. The show was bound to come to an end since star Melissa Joan Hart was in her late 20s and not really a teenager. She and Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster) move into the aunt’s old house. She wants to settle down. Bakay’s talking cat complicates things by getting her ex-crush to hit on her while she has eyes for a different guy. Not to spoil the action, but the finale involves a wedding. The big bonus is Sabrina Goes to Rome movie. Bakay went on to work on King of Queens.

    Street Hawk: The Complete Series is the greatest TV show from the ’80s that you might have missed. Rex Smith (Solid Gold) rides around Los Angeles on a super motorcycle that can hit 300 mph and fire rockets to the tunes of Tangerine Dream. How did this only last 13 episodes? George Clooney gets his first big gig as Rex’s old pal who shows up in town around the same time a car theft ring goes into overdrive in “A Second Self.” Sybil Danning is on the run from mobsters in “Vegas Run.” She’s feisty even when she needs help from Street Hawk. The bonus features include an early cut of the pilot and a documentary that explains so much about the show.

    The Job reminds us to be careful of temp agencies. Bubba (Patrick Flueger of 4400) is scrapping heard to get a gig. Ron Pearlman (Sons of Anarchy) tips him off to an employment agency run by Joe Pantoliano (Matrix). I’m not going to spoil Joe’s hair in this film. Turns out Joey Pant’s company isn’t merely looking for people to do minor jobs. Bubba takes the job since he’s got nothing else working for him. However the responsibilities of the position change. He really has to kill to impress his new boss. Director Shem Bitterman has done a fine twist on the genre. It’s a devilish nightmare about today’s unemployment issues. You can watch the trailer to get a sense of Joey Pants’ hair.

    Acceptance touches upon the yearly crisis of picking the right college. Nowadays with the cost of tuition, you really should settle on the perfect school since you’ll be paying loans for the next 20 years. Taylor Rockefeller (Parenthood‘s Mae Whitman) can’t stand being pressured to apply to Yale by her mom (Joan Cusack). She wants a nice place. She also has a hobby that’s a felony. The movie also stars the guy who does those Fiber ads on TV. The movie gets to the sad truth that you need to find a place that won’t make you bitter about a massive student loan. Cusack adapts well to the mom role.

  • Party Favors: Feeling Junger

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    jungerGLOUCESTER – The night Sebastian Junger arrived in town, it was a rather mild and cloudless day. There would be need to use the phrase “The Perfect Storm” to hype the writer’s talk and signing at Raleigh’s Quail Ridge Books. It was The Perfect Mild.

    This appears to be a rarity in today’s journalism. Anything that happens now gets blamed on “A Perfect Storm” of calamities after Junger’s book about the doomed fishermen. Wall Street meltdown, BP well disaster and McRib are all given The Perfect Storm treatment. Sadly enough, he does not get a nickel every time it’s said on TV.

    This appearance didn’t include tales of the people who put seafood on your table or George Clooney’s pranks. Junger spoke of the men who fight for America in Afghanistan. The Second Platoon, B Company, 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment of the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team were stationed in the Korangal valley for about a year. Five times Junger embedded himself with them for month long visits to get a clear idea of the tour of duty. At first Junger thought this would turn into a sleepy story about troops watching a steep land covered in old cedar trees. He was wrong. The six mile zone received a fifth of the combat action in Afghanistan. The unit engaged in more than 500 fire fights. Junger captured their experiences in the book War and the documentary film Restrepo (shot with Tim Hetherington).

    Sebastian Junger has the kinda name that ought to be attached to a Euro-creep trust fund brat seen on a Bravo series. But upon his arrival in the packed bookstore, it’s easy to see he isn’t a delicate flower. He’s a stocky guy who looks like he can handle himself in a fight at Norman Mailer’s wake. After goofing around in various jobs post college, he got serious about his career in journalism while recovering from a chainsaw accident. He headed to Bosnia for the life of a war correspondent. He made a stunning discovery about his fellow scribes. “All had been dumped by girlfriends before going.” He’s unsure if the romantic break up was the reason they left to witness battle or if the women called it off because they refused to stay safe at home and write about cat shows.

    Junger began reporting from Afghanistan before 9/11. He interviewed resistance leader Ahmad Shah Massoud prior to his assassination by suicide bombers. He smelled the evil simmering on these early trips. He recalled the time a local pointed up at the mountains and said, “Something bad is going on up there.” Little did he know that nearly a decade later, America would still be dealing with bad things in the mountains.

    The project began as a series of articles in Vanity Fair about what a combat unit experiences. It eventually evolved into the book and the video shot by him and Tim Hetherington was edited into a documentary that has won awards at Sundance and Durham’s Full Frame. The movie and book aren’t about why we fight so much as an investigation of how the men on the ground fight. He wanted to stay away from the politics and deal with the reality of life in a warzone.

    He did get a little political at the start of his talk. When the USA entered Afghanistan to go after Al-Qaeda and the Taliban, over 90 percent of the country was happy. “We had the hearts and minds,” Junger said. “Tragically there was no follow through.” The Bush administration quickly turned their focus on Iraq without even capturing the face of evil. Only 15,000 troops remained to secure Afghanistan. Junger offered up the fact that New York City has close to 40,000 cops. “People were alarmed at the level of support. At one point it was an easy war. Now it isn’t.” Almost a decade later, the Taliban are still waging war and controlling areas of the country. The USA now has 68,000 troops in the country and Junger lived amongst three dozen of them.

    Restrepo is the name of the outpost where the men fight. It was named after a medic in the unit that died early into the assignment. The men have a morbid sense of humor. They constantly remind a soldier with the last name Anderson that he’s doomed since the first two Andersons to serve with them were killed. They ask him what he wants on his tombstone. The guys ask, “Who is going to die today?” They lighten the mood by joking about screwing each others’ mothers when they get back. Since most of the men are in their early 20s, this isn’t a Golden Girls threat. They have made sacred pacts that if they die, the others are to erase the porn from their laptops before shipping their belongings back to their mothers.

    During his time with the troops, Junger had a few close calls. He talked about standing by a barricade and having dirt kick into his face. He quickly realized a sniper had targeted him. He ducked down. Afterward he measured to see it was inches between the miss and his brain. However none of the troops cared to hear about near misses. He put it in the same class as telling New Yorkers about parking tickets. No scar, no story.

    The question arises as to why so many of these men re-enlist and head back to the warzone. Why do they go back after the tour of duty is over? Why do they leave their wives stateside and return to the warzone? Many armchair pundits attributed it on the adrenaline rush of battle. Are they addicted to the danger of being in a sniper’s sight?

    Junger observed they re-enlist as part of the bond between these men. “They don’t miss being shot at,” Junger said. “They miss trusting people with their life.”

    “Brotherhood is absolute,” he declared. “You can hate the man, but the group is more important.” It’s not merely that these guys will die for each other, but they know that they will be slaughtered if they aren’t there for each other. He defined their action under fire with: “Courage is love. Your love for others in the unit makes you courageous.” They live in fear of what will happen when they take a vacation during the tour. Will the unit get overrun when they’re one man down?

    Is there a single job in America where you real trust your co-workers with your life? Eleven deep well drillers learned that BP’s Tony Hayward didn’t have their backs. Think of your own office; do you really trust everyone in your office with protecting your life? Do you trust them to not eat your lunch in the fridge? Let’s face it, there’s backstabbing for the blue vest of the greeter at a Wal-Mart. In America, it’s every man for himself. In Afghanistan, it’s the unit that survives.

    I asked about the way the internet and cellphones have changed war. The afternoon before Junger arrived in town, I was chatting online with a relative that’s serving in Afghanistan. The previous day his camp had come under rocket fire. That afternoon we’re swapping IMs about the genius of William Frawley. This wasn’t the same communications issues my folks had when dad fought in Vietnam and mom’s letters took weeks to get across the Pacific and into the jungle. How does this communication evolution affect the troops?

    “It makes it harder and easier,” Junger responded. “You can talk to your wife everyday, but you are talking to your wife everyday.” At this point Junger feared he’d gotten in trouble with his own wife. After a bit of grave digging, he finally explained how IMs and cellphones are nice for those serving in positions far away from the action in support roles. They need the contact back home to break up the boredom. This isn’t always true for those on the front lines. After they’ve spent the afternoon exchanging fire with the Taliban, they might not want to hear that the cat pissed on the TV Guide back in Fort Bragg. The petty things in homelife are petty to these men.

    He also mentioned that modern communications can really work against a soldier on the frontline about to leave on a mission. “Waiting on a cellphone call that isn’t coming is a nightmare,” How can they focus in Afghanistan when they’re distracted by what’s going on back home that has preoccupied the wife?

    Turns out that you can e-mail some of the members of the unit in War by visiting http://www.sebastianjunger.com. He said if you have any questions about what the soldiers did in the book or movie, drop them a line. They might explain it. Even if you just want to say hello, write them a note. You can also find out where the movie is playing at the website.

    HOT TITLE OF SUMMER

    Is it possible to watch a show without getting a guest shot from either astronaut Buzz Aldrin or Golden Girl Betty White? How about a money shot from them? Why can’t Buzz Aldrin and Betty White make a porn? This the ultimate project for the duo. Why hasn’t Vivid Video offered a million bucks to each star in order to make Buzz Blasts Betty?

    A SITUATION TIME 10 MILLION?

    My poorly placed sources at MTV are hinting that the premiere episode of Jersey Shore will hit 10 million. Orange gold is what a certain honcho chants as his mantra. Remember when people appeared on MTV cause they accomplished something bigger than a bar fight with a PE teacher? Snooki will be the Jon and Kate of 2010. Which are the name of her infections. MTV is going to be sponsoring fist pumping viewing parties in major beach towns with the ability for fans to be spray painted orange just like the cast. Hide in your basement if you want to avoid an outbreak of Guido-mania.

    FINALE FLUSHES

    This TV season marked the end of so many shows. Most of them went out like bitches. Nip/Tuck‘s final season was a major whimper. Was Ryan Murphy to concerned with Glee to let the plastic surgery drama go out in a ball of fire? American Chopper was uncomfortable as that family of motorcycle makers turned into a nightmare. Has their been a bigger jerk on TV than Paul Sr? I just remembered Donald Trump. Still, replacing your “original” sons with your new wife’s kids is beyond tacky. Although it does suggest that Jon can have a series about casting 8 new youngsters to replace his kids. The saddest ending belonged to Lost. I’m not going to spoil the ending except to say that is just really made me feel like I’ve wasted an entire season watching it. How could they have done this to us? I haven’t been this disappointed since watching the Gene Simmons sex tape.

    DAY THE MUSIC DIED

    How can they get rid of the Free Credit Report Trio? They’re the biggest rock stars on the planet at this moment. The could headline 21st Century Woodstock and have a crowd of 200,000 singing everyone of their jingles. But it’s over. Their corporate overloads have decided to pull the plug and bring on some new guys. This is worse than The New Monkees. There only be one Free Credit Report Trio in my heart even if I have zero clue who they really were.

    DVD SHELF

    Gamera Vs. Barugon – Special Edition is the second appearance of the greatest fire breathing turtle that flew. This is also the most adult oriented of the Gamera series since there’s no kid in a baseball cap named Kenny to annoy us about how Gamera loves children. Turns out the plan to launch Gamera into space inside a rocket didn’t work out right. He’s busted out of his deep space cell thanks to a meteor. He heads back to Earth with a chip on his shell. Around the same time, three guys have arrived in New Guinea looking for a rumored opal mine. The natives aren’t happy at their visit, but they don’t care. They want to get rich. They find a massive opal inside a cave and split for Japan. They’re going to be set for life when the opal hits the market. However it turns out not to be a real opal. It’s the egg of the monster Barugon. It hatches to unless a creature that can freeze things by it’s touch and project a rainbow of destruction out of his back. It decides to freeze and blow up Osaka. The action is in full color this time as the turtle takes on the Beast from the rainbow gathering. Plenty of great smashing action when they tangle barely fits in the anamorphic scope scene. This is the Japanese version so the story makes better sense than the American cut that’s 10 minutes shorter. The folks at Shout! Factory dug up the original movie program as one of the bonus features. An audio commentary with August Ragone and Jason Varney gives the proper details about the series. Amazon has the next four Gamera titles coming out on two double feature DVDs on Sept. 21. Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and WLVI’s Creature Double Feature will fear the turtle in 2010.

    A Serious Man…..did my DVD skip from the middle of the films to end credits? What the hell didn’t happen at the end of this film?

    My Three Sons: Season 2 Volume 2 brings us the most disturbing moment in classic sitcom history. Forget those fake fight club chats. Here is proof who would win a fight between Fred Mertz (I Love Lucy) and Mr. Drysdale (Beverly Hillbillies). During “Bub Gets a Job,” William Frawley gets a gig in clothing store. He ends up servicing a jerkish Raymond Bailey (Mr. Drysdale). Bub yanks off the guy’s toupee. It’s an amazing moment in TV history. Why isn’t this clip abused on Great TV Moments specials? The rest of the season keeps up the proof that Bub is the real father in the family. Fred MacMurray’s not that great of TV dad since he seems to need a major emergency to put down his pipe and paper to spend time with the kids. There is still music replacement on this installment, but they mix it down so it doesn’t stick out as bad.

    MacGyver: The TV Movies frees up the bonus DVD from the Complete Series. Patty and Selma rejoice. These were two flicks shot a few years after McGuyver left the network schedule. MacGyver: Lost Treasure of Atlantis brings a grand adventure to the series. Brian Blessed and MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) hunt down the legendary sunken city. The cool thing is a cameo from a Pink Floyd record cover. MacGyver: Trail to Doomsday is the action rush. He shows up at a wedding and ends up saving the world from a nuclear bomb threat. These two films are much better than MacGruber.

    Death Race 2000 is the ultimate edition of the ultimate drive-in movie. The futuristic vision combines the joy of NASCAR with the impending doom of Death Panels. In the future, Americans will be glued to the Death Race. Drivers zoom across America collecting points for speed and the number of people they kill. A group of rebels want to stop this government sanctioned mayhem. Can they really put the brakes on Frankenstein (David Carradine), Machine Gun Joe Viterbo (Sylvester Stallone) and Calamity Jane (Mary Woronov)? Director Paul Bartel oversaw a movie that packed way so much in 80 minutes. His genius couldn’t be duplicated as witnessed by that crapola Death Race that tanked recently. The new transfer brings out the dazzling joy of the various kills. There’s tons of extras that explore how this low budget gem came about. The late David Carradine discusses how he used this film to change his image from Kung Fu. Roger Corman and Mary Woronov contribute the audio commentary. There’s a Blu-ray version that will make you duck as Stallone drives toward the camera. It’s just not summer without a screening of Death Race 2000 for the kids. This is part of Shout! Factory’s Roger Corman Collection that’s giving plenty of his New World releases definitive DVD releases.

    Have Gun – Will Travel: The Fourth Season, Volume Two gives us another 19 episode of Paladin’s hire adventures. “Long Way Home” puts him on the trail of outlaw Ivan Dixon (Hogan’s Heroes). “El Paso Stage” gives Buddy Ebsen a badge and a gun. He’s the marshal. Paladin has to shoot it out with the man that would become Barnaby Jones. “The Uneasy Grave” brings another Hogan’s Heroes regular to the Wild West. Werner Klemperer gets more serious than he ever did as Col. Klink. “Soledad Crossing” makes Ken Curtis (Gunsmoke‘s Festus) part of wicked twins. Richard Boone maintains his charm as a hired gun who’d rather not waste bullets on a gig.

    Dragnet 1968: Season Two brings another 29 police cases that were taken from real life. Sergeant Joe Friday (Jack Webb) and Officer Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan) cruise around Los Angeles dishing out justice to punk kids, con men and LSD gurus. “The Gernade” has a creepy high school kid throw acid at Jan-Michael Vince (World’s Greatest Athlete). Things get worse when the loser hits a cool kid party with a live hand grenade. Friday needs to put a pin in the kid. “The Big Search” has Friday sniffing out lost sisters by checking abandoned fridges and local child molesters. “The Big Prophet” has Friday debate a Timothy Leary-esque guru that believes LSD should be given to kids. In the matter, it doesn’t matter who was right since the guru gets busted with his conviction revealed after the commercial break. “The Missing Realtor” finds time for Scatman Crothers (The Shining). Kent McCord plays a cop in several episodes. He’d eventual get a starring role in Jack Webb’s Adam-12. The transfers on the DVD look better than what’s being run on RTN. The big bonus feature is Dragnet: 1966, the TV movie that revived the franchise for color TV. While it seemed like there are hundreds of episodes, turns out there are only two more seasons to go.

    The Game: The Third Season is no longer the final season. Reruns of the CW series are a hit on BET. So they’re going to revive the series about women behind football players. What really goes happens off the field and behind bedroom doors? There’s a fear that Robin Givens is gold digging a player. Is the woman who once married Mike Tyson really marrying for a cheap publicity stunt. Another woman might be pregnant although which player is the daddy? Rick Fox puts his acting skills learned at Oz to work. He gets used and abused by a gold digger. No longer is the cliffhanger in “The Wedding Episode” going to be unresolved. There’s 22 episodes spread over 3 DVDs.

    Bitten Unrated is the uncensored version of the SyFy channel movies starring Jason Mewes. He’s actually playing a character with a real job. Mewes roams the city as a paramedic. He’s got a job that requires him to give drugs to people. He’s a bit of a loser with the ladies until he meets a girl (Erica Cox) that needs his medial attention. She doesn’t want to go hospital so he takes her home for intensive care. Turns out her real problem is that she’s a vampire and needs blood. Being a dutiful boyfriend, he helps her get victims. It’s interesting seeing Mewes playing a guy who has to be certified to keep his job. This was directed by Harvey Glazer (Kickin It Old School). The best film about a paramedic since Martin Scorsese’s Bringing Out the Dead. The unrated element does include a little extra flesh footage on the vampire. What really excited me was the preview for Phantom Racer starring Greg Evigan. The star of BJ and the Bear gets chased by a haunted stock car that eats people.

    COMING ATTRACTIONS

  • Party Favors: Not The Fonz

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    winklerMILWAUKEE – Henry Winkler is not the Fonz.

    He played the coolest guy on Happy Days for eleven seasons. But he doesn’t wear a leather jacket, ride a motorcycle or fix things by bumping them with his elbow. He’s not even Italian. He’s got a life that has gone beyond the Fonz. There’s probably a generation that knows him better for Adam Sandler movies and Arrested Development. On a May evening at the Quail Ridge bookstore in Raleigh, there is a group of kids under 12 years old that know him as the author of the Hank Zipzer books (along with co-writer Lin Oliver).

    Many stars of the ’70s sell their tawdry memoirs of behind the scenes perversions. Winkler created a young adult book series that taps into grade school life instead of the action in Arnold’s bathroom. We’ll have to wait for lurid tales of the Hooper triplets. During the talk before the book signing, he admits to being Hank Zipzer. A while ago someone suggested he write about a dyslexic school kid. He scoffed at the idea at the time. How could he be an author? However he realized that his struggles and success in education could help others. He was able to overcome his issues to not only graduate high school, but eventually earn an MFA from Yale’s drama school. He also had an attitude change which he summed up by saying, “If you will it, it is not a dream.”

    When the idea of him writing books for young adults was brought up again, he decided to will it. He met with Lin Oliver and the character of Hank Zipzer, The World’s Greatest Underachiever became a reality. Winkler’s talk to the audience was aimed mainly at the kids in the audience. He discussed his marriage that has lasted three decades and their three children. He read the first chapter from A Brand-New Me! – the 17th and final Hank Zipzer novel. This is the end of Hank’s career in elementary school except he might not graduate to middle school. Winkler had the kids mesmerized as he assumed the voice of a distracted child.

    Originally I was planning on taping Winkler’s talk so I could stick it up on yoututbe for my cousin in Afghanistan to enjoy. We grew up watching Happy Days – at least until the gang entered college. I felt bad that he wouldn’t get to hang out with the Fonz. Right before the program was to start, the announced that people could take photos, but Winkler didn’t want his talk videotaped. Turns out Winkler’s got a set introduction speech for his book tour. This was reflected during the Q&A when a little kid pointed out how he’d said the same stuff on youtube.

    Before I could stick the camera back in the car, a bookstore employee told me that they had mentioned to Henry how I wanted to videotape the event for my cousin stuck in a warzone. While Henry still didn’t want me taping his speech, he promised to tape a special message for my cousin.

    While normally I’d consider this a private message, I sense that Winkler’s message should go out to all the folks who enjoy this column that are currently stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq. So please enjoy:

    He might not be the Fonz, but Henry Winkler is cool.

    COMING THIS FALL

    Ice Cube Time Machine will be this fall’s most outrageous comedy. The movie starts in 1989 when rapper Ice Cube gets sucked into a motel’s ice machine. It transports him into 2010 where he quickly discovers what happened to him. At first he’s blown away at his 21st Century lavish lifestyle. He’s got cars, mansions and the world on his cellphone. But he quickly learns the price of success. No longer is he feared by America. He’s now considered America’s Least Threatening Black Man. Morgan Freeman and Cuba Gooding Jr instill more fear in middle America than the star of Are We There Yet?

    The saddest moment is when Ice Cube gets pulled over by a cop who only wants an autograph….for his grandmother. So much for Amerikkka’s Most Wanted. Ice Cube sits by the side of the road crying his eyes out knowing that old white ladies consider him comic relief like a black Larry the Cable Guy. The big ending has Ice Cube sucked back into a time vortex where he appears at Easy E’s deathbed. He begs Easy E to cap his ass so he can die like a gangsta. Easy’s final breath informs his old NWA cohort that he can’t deny old white ladies their precious new Bill Cosby. Ice Cube cries like a baby knowing that he’s doomed to a fate of being more socially acceptable than Vanilla Ice.

    Remember that you can watch Ice Cube push his inoffensive persona on TBS this summer. And to think I drank St. Ides Malt Liquor based on his endorsement.

    DRAW THE LINE

    I’ve been told that you have to choose – You either live on Sesame Street or exist on Elmo’s World. The war is coming. Muppet fur will burn.

    THE SMELL

    Kevin James is Chris Farley’s rotting corpse in Grown Ups. Why didn’t Adam Sandler just spring to create a CGI Chris for the movie? Kevin James could still be in the film except he’d be covered in ping pong balls.

    FATES WORSE THAN CHUCKLEHUT

    In the wee hours, there was the most disturbing show on the sat TV. Rich Hall, Victoria Jackson and Dom Irrera were holding comedy court on what appeared to be a cruise ship. This was probably more frightening for the vacationers than a visit from Somali pirates. Was this really entertainment or community service? They must have been the comic relief between rounds of cockfighting.

    WHAT MOVIE?

    It’s not summer until I go out to the Raleigh Road Outdoor Theater in Henderson, NC to take in the joys of drive in cinema. This year’s opening title was Iron Man 2. Or was it? I enjoyed seeing Robert Downey Jr and Mickey Rourke smashing each other. But it seemed that half of the stupid movie was wasted on pimping The Avengers movie that’s coming out in a few years. It’s like watching Monday Night Raw when all they do is pimp an upcoming pay-per-view match. Except the difference is I already paid to view Iron Man 2. Note to filmmakers that expect me to pay for admission – don’t keep telling me about the film I’m not watching.

    GET LOST

    Now that Lost is over, where will the kids go to be completely confused about time? The best substitute is a visit to the DMV.

    HORSE’S MOUTH

    Among my strangest of viewing passions is anything featuring talking animals (not including CGI). You get a real animal to move their lips, I’m glued. Thus I’m thrilled to see Mister Ed: The Complete Third Season is out. Mister Ed is a talking horse who isn’t reincarnated or a mad scientist’s project. He’s just got a working mouth and plenty of horse sense to spare. He lives in Wilbur’s office in a residential neighborhood. The season opens with “Ed Gets Amnesia.” The horse can’t remember Wilbur or who he is. His only hope lays in the genius of Richard Deacon (Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy). “Ed the Pilgrim” should be required viewing after the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Ed explains to Wilbur that a horse saved the pilgrims. “Big Pine Lodge” turns a ski vacation into a crooked card game. It’s up to Ed to help Wilbur out cheat the cheaters by posing as a mounted head on the wall. Mister Ed: The Complete Third Season is the perfect relief to TV political pundit who wish they were as smart as a talking horse. Only two and a half more seasons to go. Here’s a glimpse of Mister Ed in action for those who’ve never seen a talking horse.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Showgirls: 15th Anniversary Sinsational Edition brings the dazzling glory to 1080p Blu-ray and DVD. Like a good bi-sexual stripper, you won’t have to choose your format. It hasn’t looked this beautiful since the theatrical release (and I was in the multiplex for the first matinee to absorb all the Paul Verhoeven’s love. The story is semi-simple as Elizabeth Berkley arrives in Las Vegas with dreams of being a showgirl. Her career path takes her to a slimy strip club run by the equally slimy Robert Davi. Ultimately a lap dance for Gina Gershon leads to an invitation to the big showroom at a major casino. But things get more cut throat and bloody than a pirate movie. Most people treat this movie as camp, but that’s because they don’t watch it right. Switch the audio to the French language track and put on the English subtitles. Now sit back and be amazed at a film about the human condition that could have won Cannes and the Best Foreign Language Oscar. There are bonus features including “Pole Dancing: Finding Your Inner Stripper,” “Lap Dance Tutorial Featuring the World-Famous Girls of Scores,” “The Greatest Movie Ever Made” – A Commentary by David Schmader,” “Showgirls Fact-Up Trivia” and “A Showgirls Diary.” Now you can finally hear Caesar sing in High Definition.

    DVD SHELF

    Elvis 75th Birthday Collection brings together 7 of the Elvis Presley’s movies so you can make your summer a non-stop party. The titles include Clambake, Flaming Star, Follow That Dream, Frankie and Johnny, Kid Galahad, Love Me Tender and Wild in the Country. You get the first of his big movies with Love Me Tender. He wasn’t supposed to be the star, but who could deny that he’s the reason why this film still gets shown. Does Richard Egan have the week of his death turned into national celebration? This boxset contains quite a few of Elvis’ more sincere films. He wasn’t going all mindless musical in Follow That Dream, Flaming Star and Wild In the Country. He gets to go a couple acting rounds with Charles Bronson (Death Wish) on Kid Galahad. Pay attention for Ed Asner’s supporting role in the DA’s office. Frankie and Johnny teams up the King with Donna Douglas (Beverly Hillbillies). He’s a gambler on a bad luck streak. But Elvis was never bad luck in Hollywood. The gem of the collection is Clambake. He’s a rich boy who swaps life’s with a schlub so he can pursue a career as a speed boat racer. “Hey, Hey, Hey” is the greatest song that uses a chemical name as a lyric. His sportscar and baseball jacket elevate this film to cult stardom. There once was a time when indie stations would give us Elvis week during the summer. Now you have a chance to give yourself that treat.

    The Cinema Pride Collection is a gay film studies class in a boxset available exclusively from Amazon.com. The 10 DVDs include The Children’s Hour, La Cage Aux Folles, My Beautiful Laundrette, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: The Extra Frills Edition, The Birdcage, Bent, The Object of My Affection, Boys Don’t Cry, Kissing Jessica Stein and Imagine Me & You. The films go from the tragic to the fabulous. La Cage Aux Folles was an amazing hit back in the ’70s about an uptight politician encountering his future son-in-law’s unique family. The kid’s dad runs a drag show and his “mother” is the star. The movie would eventually be remade in America as The Birdcage which is here. You can compare the French to Robin Williams. Boys Don’t Cry let Hilary Swank overcome the stigma of being the female Karate Kid. She has a romance with Chloe Sevigny (Big Love. This wouldn’t be too bad except the creepy locals think she’s really a guy. The most outrageous of the films is Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. This is my Raymond J. Regis award pick of the month. This is one of the few films were the costumes are almost as flaming as the characters as a trio of performers go cross country in Australia. Their outfits rightfully won the Oscar.

    Flashpoint: The Second Season of the Canadian series that follows the Strategic Response Unit. It’s their version of SWAT except without the theme song. The crack team is lead by Sgt. Parker (Just Shoot Me‘s Enrico Colatoni). He comes off as rather intense for those who only remember him from being frustrated by David Spade. “Business As Usual” has them dealing with a CEO taken hostage. Turns out the guy was part of a mortgage scam. Must there really be a survivor? “Clean Hands” has them acting as police escort for a killer being transported back to Canada. Their biggest fear is the victim’s father deciding to put an end to the case “The Perfect Family” lets a couple attempt to reunite with the baby they put up for adoption. “Perfect Storm” is their high school geeks going after bullies episode. “Last Dance” has a woman with a terminal brain disease go on a crime spree since she doesn’t have to worry about the electric chair. For a peaceful country, Canada sure has people with violent issues. Flashpoint: The Second Season has 9 episodes spread over 2 DVDs.

    MLB Bloopers: Baseball’s Best Blunders collects all those great goofy moments from the diamond. If you’re the person who enjoys the pranks and pratfall clips that get abused by sportscasters, you’ll be glued to this 90 minute special. All the good stuff is here including Jose Canseco assisting a homerun ball by taking it off his noggin. There’s even animal attack moments. Plenty of players get hit in the face with shaving cream pies after victories. Baseball players just loves being jokesters since they spend way too much time on the pine or waiting around in right field.

    Reds Memories: The Greatest Moments In Cincinnati Reds History covers the love affair between the Queen City and baseball. The city did have the first pro team when the Red Stockings took the field. Turns out after two seasons, they moved to Boston thus starting that city’s association with Red Sox. That’s why the two cities claim true red stocking connections. The documentary really gets cranking with the Big Red Machine era of Pete Rose and Johnny Bench. They were an all-star team on the crummy astroturf of Riverfront Stadium. The plus is Pete Rose’s interviews don’t include him coming up with a new excuse for his gambling or begging to be put in the Hall of Fame. A bonus feature is Johnny Bench’s induction speech with Ted Williams in the front row.

  • Party Favors: James Cameron in 3-D!

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    During Earth Day, James Cameron launched both the home video release of Avatar and the Home Tree Initiative. The director planted the first of a million trees at the Fox Studio lot. The Party Favors sent its action Hollywood news squad to the event to record it in the proper format of 3-D HD. For the first time ever, James Cameron is captured by a 3-D camera he doesn’t control! We also have a short chat with producer Jon Landau about doing low budget projects in 3-D. If you want proof that an indie filmmaker can work in 3-D without a massive budget – this is it. If you want the full effect, make sure you wear red and blue 3-D glasses and click on the 740p viewing selection. Be careful when Cameron look straight at the camera.

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  • Party Favors: Full Frame 2010

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    DURHAM – Once more The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival is a four day film festival that plays like it should last a week They show so many films that it’s impossible to even come close to seeing them all. Five theaters are going at once and the only repeats are the award winning movies. It’s hard to pick while going through the schedule. I’ve yet to hear anyone complain about the movie they saw so much as wishing they could have seen two or three of the other ones that were showing concurrently. This is the best festival for documentary film viewers. The 2010 edition kept up the lofty standards with films about basketball, pork, pastries, scoundrels, nomads and undiscovered superstars.

    Steve James created the greatest film about the dirty business of Chicago high school basketball in Hoop Dreams. ESPN gave him a chance to look into the life of another high school superstar. No Crossover: The Trial of Allen Iverson takes us back to a time when the controversial star wasn’t covered in tattoos and having public meltdowns about practice. In his junior year, he led his high school to football and basketball state titles. His senior year was spent behind bars when he was convicted for being part of a bowling alley fight. How did this happen? How was a minor charged as an adult and originally sentenced to several years in prison? James goes back to his boyhood home to investigate the role of race and being at the wrong high school might have played in Iverson not getting a slap on the back of his superstar hand. I had a chance to speak with the director about his 2 hour special that is currently airing on the various ESPN channels and is out on DVD.

    And here’s part two of our chat:

    Chris Hegedus and DA Pennebaker thought they’d been in the most intense space in the world when they made The War Room about Bill Clinton’s campaign. The found out quickly that was relaxing compared to the heat of a kitchen making desserts. Sweets are not a simple matter in The Kings of Pastry. In order to qualify for the red, white and blue collars on their shirts, pastry chefs compete in the Meilleur Ouvrier de France. This three day marathon has them create over 40 items from little puffs to huge sugar sculptures with no outside help. This makes Iron Chef look like reheating a TV dinner. The movie follows Jacquy Pfeiffer rigorous training makes him the Rocky of sweets. Don’t see this on an empty stomach.

    Divine Pig is the ultimate pork film. A Dutch butcher spends two years raising a pig in order to serve them up in his shop. The last two pigs were saved by animal lovers and sent to a piggy heaven farm. Director Hans Dortmans follows the latest pig to see if it will be saved or succulent. The movie delves into religions that have dietary laws against pork. Why is the pig singled out? Is the pig that dirty of an animal when compared to modern farming of cows and chickens? I can’t believe in a God that will deny me bacon. Dortmans’ 50 minute film is must viewing for anyone who can’t get enough babyback ribs. This ought to be shown on the Food Channel followed by a roundtable discussion of the pork lovin’ trio of Duff Goldman, Michael Symon and Chris Cosentino, Director Dortmans sat down for a chat about the joy of pork in the greatest BBQ region in the world.

    Casino Jack and the United States of Money is Alex Gibney’s untangling of the evil lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Cash flowed all over D.C. when Jack was playing the political game. Ever want to shut up Sen. John McCain at Red Lobster, ask him how much money Jack Abramoff gave his various campaigns. Abramoff’s specialty was representing Native American tribes on gambling issues. He played dirty and both sides for hefty prices. While Fox News wants us to forget Abramoff, Gibney reminds us why everything is screwed up inside the Beltway. Producer Zena Barakat sat down to describe how her job at Nightline led to this feature project. The movie will be coming out shortly from Magnolia.

    The Kids Grow Up is a deeply personal film for director Doug Block. He follows his daughter Lucy as she graduates from high school and prepares to go to college on the West Coast. He culls through old family videos to show how fast his daughter shoots up. There’s plenty of humor when her French boyfriend comes to visit. How does a dad read the riot act to someone who doesn’t speak the language? His wife goes through a depression spell as things progress. At the end of the film, you learn to appreciate the time with your kids. Block sat down for a talk about child rearing and home videos.

    Do It Again is a classic rock impossible dream. As he approaches 40, Geoff Edgers gets the noble quest to reunite the Kinks. It’s been over a decade since Ray and Dave Davies played on the same stage. The original British invasion band had an amazing run from the 60s to the 80s. They introduced the heavy metal distortion sound on “You Really Got Me.” They waxed poetic on “Waterloo Sunset” and “Come Dancing.” And they rocked us out with “Destroyer.” As a Boston Globe writer, he uses his reporter instincts to enlist other singers and actors into his campaign. John Cusack phones in support. Robyn Hitchcock and Peter Buck sing a Kinks tune. Ray Davies isn’t quite so thrilled at Edgers’ mission. You know something is messed up when he has an easier time getting Sting to appear than Ray. The personally heartbreaking moment comes when Zooey Deschanel admits her favorite record is The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society. I was ready to leave my wife and kids for her. Those big eyes were tempting me with her extremely cool taste. The fantasy’s shattered since she doesn’t eat bacon. Why can’t I have my dreams come true? Not to give away the film, but you will get to see all the various Kinks members. As an extremely cool “bonus feature,” members of the dBs and Mitch Easter came out to perform a few Kinks tunes for the audience after the feature ran. Do It Again is a perfect celebration of a band that should still be as huge as the Rolling Stones. During my talk with Edgers, he supported my campaign for the J. Geils Band in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Although there’s no need for him to do a movie about reuniting them since they’ll be playing with Aerosmith at Fenway Park this summer.

    There were several films I was able to watch between interviews.

    Waking Sleeping Beauty charts the revival of the animation department at Disney. Instead of the usual talking head parade, we’re treated to 86 minutes of vintage video from the time. Plenty of video was shot by the animators including a young Tim Burton playing midway games. The key players narrate the struggles that started with the animators getting kicked off the lot. Ultimately they found the magic again with The Little Mermaid. Even though this is being distributed by Disney, don’t mistake it for a pure fluff piece that would end up as a DVD bonus feature. There’s plenty of bile between Roy Disney, Michael Eisner and Jeffrey Katzenberg. Things truly get nasty for Katzenberg as he makes himself the new face of animation like Uncle Walt. The knives come out as the executives enjoy the success while the animators nearly drop dead from the over ambitious workload. The real people behind the films success don’t seem to get to enjoy it. The best moment in the film is a Lion King photo op in which Katzenberg nearly gets mauled by a real lion.

    Strange Powers: Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Fields is an intimate portrait of a man who wants his personal space. My first encounter with the band was at a Mergefest. In barely 40 minutes they went from an obscure act to the soundtrack of my life. The same can be said about this movie. Directors Kerthy Fix and Gail O’Hara get extremely tight with the band as they hang out for years in Merritt’s New York apartment. It also serves as his studio space. You’ll think you’ve played the triangle on their last album. This isn’t just about music and a band on tour. Merritt’s creative process is laid bare. At the core of the band is the lifelong friendship of Merritt and his semi-muse Claudia Gonson. This isn’t a conventional band romance since he’s gay and she reminds me of the nun at a Catholic school that was in charge of the folk mass. It’s hard to completely tell what the duo are like since we don’t get much insight into Claudia’s social life. It seems like she sits around her apartment waiting for Merritt to call. The crisis in the film happens when a reporter decides to call Merritt a racist because he doesn’t like rap. After that moment, it became a field day for upstart music writers to pick apart anything he did to show he was somehow a Klu Klux Komposer.

    I Am Secretly An Important Person introduces most of us to the obscure outside of Seattle poet Jesse Bernstein. He is best known for being on a few Sub Pop records releases when flannel ruled the world. Bernstein falls into the literary environment of William S. Burroughs and Charles Bukowski with his gritty tells of bad living. At one point he opened up for Burroughs at a reading and held his own on the stage. He used his poetry to open up for Big Black and Nirvana. The guy was the real deal as he had lived a rough and tumble life while dealing with addictions and mental health issues. He also knew how to land girlfriends. Director Peter Sillen and his crew create a film that brings together Jesse’s art, music, life and lovers into one cohesive form. While you don’t know the man, you experience him at his fullest through this documentary. Jess Bernstein secretly was important.

    Genius Within: The Inner Life of Glenn Gould is chocked full of archival footage of the iconic Canadian pianist. He was a strange perfectionist who sang along while playing classical pieces. At the peak of his fame, he quit performing live to focus on studio work. The film does a fine job setting up the myth and explaining a bit of reality as to his quirky ways. Mostly it lets us enjoy his artistic genius at the keyboard. The film will be shown on PBS in the near future. Set your DVRs.

    Louis Sullivan: The Struggle for American Architecture gives a glowing spotlight to the father of the skyscraper. He dared to make buildings look tall in the late 1800s. He also thought American instead merely copying the Europeans. His opera house in Chicago is beyond magnificence. Director Mark Richard Smith and cinematographer Pete Biagi let the camera bring out the detail in Sullivan’s work. He’s mostly thought of now as Frank Lloyd Wright’s mentor. This film will enlighten you to Sullivan’s career which ended with him designing small banks that look better than most cathedrals.

    Notes on Others should be watched by Hemingway scholars. It brings together a bull goring, an Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest and the writer’s suicide so disturbingly pure. Papa would have loved it.

    Summer Pasture is a sociology film as we hang out with a nomad family in Tibet. They raise yaks and harvest caterpillar fungus so they can buy things from the town in the distance. Ever wonder how you can raise a baby without Pampers or cloth diapers? You’ll learn here. The film gets rather poignant as we discover how Chinese birth policies have affected the family we stay with during the summer. Lynn True and Nelson Walker create an insight into this far off land at the top of the globe.

    My Perestroika visits five classmates who were the last students of a major communist high school to see how they’ve adjusted to democracy. These were the kids that were shown off in various propaganda films that made life under the communists look perfect. Director Robin Hesseman gets extremely tight with them. Some have flourished with one scoring big in high class men’s fashion. A few are struggling in the new economy. Most seem nervous about Putin’s political maneuvers.

    A Film Unfinished shouldn’t be watched on a TV screen at home. This is a story that must be witnessed on a large screen with a group. Before the Nazis cleared out the Warsaw Ghetto by sending the Jewish residents to the death camps, they sent a camera crew to create a propaganda film. While the film was cut for picture, there was no narrative on the 35mm print uncovered in a Nazi vault. They mix real moments of people starving to death on the streets with staged dinner parties. There point was to show how even under such miserable conditions, Jews are heartless and won’t band together for group survival. They’re in it for themselves. They interview survivors of the ghetto and reference diaries from the mayor to give us the truth about those forced to play the rich and well-fed. They played their parts to keep from being killed. The images of skeleton bodies being piled up like firewood reminds us how easy it is for people to lose touch with humanity. The producers locate one of the Nazi cameramen to get his memories of how moments were staged. What was their point? The film restores the dignity to those who were forced to act for the cameras. They are given the proper context in this propaganda horror show. This is essential viewing if it comes to a theater near you.

    Regretters features a conversation between two Swedish men who had sex changes only to have them reversed. This is kind of a trans-transgendered My Dinner With Andre. Orlando was a gay man in the ’60s who transformed since it was illegal to be gay in the country. Mikael didn’t feel happy as a man. Later he felt less happy as women and wanted his penis back. The conversation between the two is compelling and probing. Director Marcus Lindeen told me after the show that this project evolved from radio interviews between the two into a stageplay and finally the movie. I’m wanting to produce the play version off Broadway with Christopher Walken as Orlando and Harvey Keitel as Mikael.

    Target Shoots First celebrates its 10th anniversary with a screening at Full Frame. This is the greatest film about an office rebel ever made. It’s not some Hollywood tale. Christopher Wilcha really did show up for his first day at the Columbia Music Club with a videocamera to document his life in the straight job world. He fears that he’s selling out working for a company that used to tempt us with 12 records for a penny without mentioning they also own your first born and soul. Wilcha gets hired because his boss thinks the young college kid can tap into the hot Alternative scene led by Nirvana. The rebel in a tie eventually gets his chance to create a new Alternative magazine for the club with a staff of fellow pirates the lurked in the hallways of the World Trade Center tower. His crew brought in good buzz for their revamped magazine that dared to offer under-appreciated vintage titles along with the hot Alternative acts from 120 Minutes. The film shows how the folks in corporate had to tame it down to make it their own. The movie ends with him finally deciding if he’s a company man after the death of Kurt Cobain. This film goes beyond The Office and Office Space. What’s strange is how nostalgic Target is since there’s no more World Trade Center and Columbia House Record Club (they only sell DVDs now). Wilcha has been directing This American Life on Showtime and I Pity the Fool.

    Enemies of the People about the Killing Fields of Cambodia won the Grand Jury Award while the trash art Waste Land took the Audience Award. Special prizes went to Restrepo – a year with an Army unit in Afghanistan and The Oath deals with brothers that worked for Osama Bin Laden. There are those who want to pick this upcoming Oscar nominees out of this pool. All these films are worthy of your consideration.

    STATE OF THE DOCS

    Because of it’s popularity, the festival had two sessions dealing with the business of getting your documentary into the marketplace. The good news is that there’s more platforms then ever for getting eyeballs onto your film. Most of the panelists were happy about Netflix’s Watch Instantly feature. The fact that you can now use this on your wii has opened up a new way to get on people’s TV sets. Far as the money goes, one guy said a movie they represented had pulled in $38,000 so far. They also said if your movie gets listed as Coming Soon by Netflix, get your friends, family members and facebook friends to put it on their queue since this will help the company buy more copies and want to run it on Watch Instantly. There was also good news about how many theaters in major markets had no qualms running documentaries from a video source.

    The bad news seemed to be that the theatrical action for documentaries is getting tighter. Once you take Michael Moore out of the pot, there are few profitable releases in the genre. The theatrical run becomes part of promoting the DVD release. But most theaters don’t seem to mind showing docs with projected video. The only reason why you should consider striking 35mm prints of your movie are for an Oscar run and archiving. So you can save there if you dream of the big screen and a marquee.

    Ultimately nobody should view documentary films as a quick way to buy a house in Malibu.

    DVD SHELF

    Gamera: The Giant Monster finally brings the Japanese version of the mutant turtle’s first rampage in Tokyo to America. Fear the turtle. For decades we had to suffer from a pan and scan version instead of getting to see the complete glory of Gamera in black and white cinemascope. Even Mystery Science Theater 3000 had to settle for the American cut distributed by Sandy Frank. Shout! Factory has given us the real story of Gamera. He was a prehistoric turtle frozen in the Arctic ice until an atomic blast unleashed him. He does what comes natural to all giant radioactive prehistoric creatures: head to Japan. The big advantage to Gamera is how he can use his streamlined shell to turn into a rocket. Can anything stop his slow, but steady destruction? I grew to adore Gamera from when it ran on the Creature Double Feature on Boston’s WLVI. The bonus features include a 23 minute long history of the franchise. Shout! will be releasing the other 7 classic Gamera titles. There’s also a commentary track from August Ragone that fills us in on the legend of Godzilla’s biggest reptile rival. An anatomical drawing explains Gamera’s guts that give him power. This is the right tribute to the turtle that would eventually become a friend to all children named Timmy. Here’s a peak at his atomic shell action:

    Iron Man: The Complete 1994 Animated Television Special brings the complete adventures of Tony Stark and his magnificent flying suits. He spends a lot of the time battling it out with The Mandarin. This Asian menace has 10 deadly rings like Phil Jackson. Luckily Iron Man doesn’t work alone as he gets to count on Nick Fury, War Machine, Scarlet Witch and Hawkeye watching his back. Because of the era, the normal guys in the cartoon wears the Miami Vice uniform of t-shirt and sports jacket. The animation looks like an extension of the GI Joe style. Tony Stark is voiced by Robert Hays (Airplane). Chuck McCann pops up as the voice of Blizzard. Efrem Zimbalist Jr. (The FBI) nails the vocal part as Justin Hammer. There are 26 episodes spread over 3 DVDs. This is fine for kids who get hooked on the Robert Downey Jr. Here’s a peak at what’s in the box.

    X-Men: Volume 5 wraps up the animated series that ran on Fox in the ’90s. These are the 14 episodes that brought the story of Professor Xavier to an end. “The Phalanx” has another batch of aliens sneaking onto the Earth. Magneto wants to use these newcomers to take down humanity. “Storm Front” has Storm engaged to the alien Arkon. The other X-Men aren’t sure of the stranger from another planet. “Jubilee’s Fairytale Theater” has her taking a group of kids in a cave near the mansion. Things get hairy when a cave in strikes. “Old Soldiers” throws us back to when Wolverine and Captain America were beating up on the Red Skull during World War II. This is the prime episode of the season. “Graduation Day” is the finale with Xavier’s life in the balance and only a radical treatment as the cure. Magneto comes into play. It’s a good caper for the afternoon animated series. Here’s a little treat from the show:

  • Party Favors: Deadly Impact

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    ALBUQUERQUE — This sleepy town is getting rocked awake by a mad bomber in Deadly Impact. Thomas Armstrong (Boondock Saints‘s Sean Patrick Flanery) is a cop that is forced to shoot his wife in order to save 10 people that are being held hostage by The Lion (The Matrix‘s Joe Pantoliano). The ugliness of the moment cause Armstrong to quit the force and devote himself to booze. Eight years later The Lion reappears. The FBI wants Armstrong’s help in identifying him, but can he tangle with the diabolical madman who has promised to blow up the city?

    Deadly Impact is an action rush with Pantoliano using the power of Bluetooth for evil. Here’s the trailer for the film:

    The movie is out on DVD this week. I had a chance to swap email with Director Robert Kurtzman and Producer David S. Greathouse. The duo had previously made Buried Alive. Kurtzman is a special effects veteran having contributed to over a hunder movies including Predator, Hostel, Army of Darkness and Bubba Ho-tep. Greathouse is executive producer on Saint John of Las Vegas starring Steve Buscemi, Sarah SIlverman and Peter Dinklage.

    Party Favors: What attracted you to the script for Deadly Impact?

    Robert Kurtzman: It’s a well written script and Its an action/thriller which was something different and challenging for me. I love action films as much as I do horror. I’d worked with producer David Greathouse on several films prior including Buried Alive which I’d directed for him and we have a great working relationship which was also a big attraction for me. Dave’s a very smart producer and he always puts a great team together which as a director is very important. I know he has my back and I have his.

    With your background in special effects, do you find it hard to read a script without immediately thinking how you’d devise a prop?

    Robert Kurtzman: Yes… but it’s actually helpful when you’re trying to envision a sequence that maybe budget restrictive and you have to come up with alternatives in how you shoot or stage the action to accommodate the schedule. This film wasn’t a heavy creature FX film so in that sense I was free to concentrate on other aspects of the production.

    Where did you first cross paths with Sean Patrick Flanery?

    Robert Kurtzman: We actually met on this film. After reading the script he was the first actor that came to mind for the role of Tom Armstrong and luckily the studio agreed. I can’t imagine the film without him in it.

    Do you get a certain buzz knowing that when you cast Joe Pantoliano, you get to figure out his hairstyle?

    Robert Kurtzman: We did a bunch of rough sketches of the different character looks for the film and then designed the prosthetics and body suits accordingly. We were very lucky because Joey has his own lace wig collection from other films which we were able to utilize.

    What do you think is key to create tension when actors are talking on the phone? Does Bluetooth free up an actor?

    Robert Kurtzman: Building tension in the edit and camera movement. We had quite a bit of the back and forth with them on the phone and it was key to have things build and get more tense as Kaplow played his game with Tom. Bluetooth does free them up to be more animated, actors love doing things with their hands.

    How does using the VIPER alter your approach to filmmaking visually? Do you have to modify the action or effects for the format?

    Robert Kurtzman: I didn’t have to change my approach at all. It was just like shooting 35mm except I was able to shoot more coverage as I had no restriction on the amount of film I could shoot a day. Everything is captured to hard drives and you pretty much see what you’re getting on the monitors. The camera also has the ability to create presets for different lighting and color looks so we had selections for day and night shooting which we were able to punch up on the computer so scenes would carry the same look from one to another. The other thing that’s great about shooting digital is I don’t have to keep cutting and reload film when the actors are getting into a groove. You just let the camera roll and if someone fumbles a line or the camera move isn’t working you can just drop back to first position and pick it right up without having to cut.

    Were there any explosions on the location?

    Robert Kurtzman: Yes we had several explosions, two cars and the third story of a building.

    How hard is it to juggle an active career in both special effects and directing features?

    Robert Kurtzman: It’s not that tough because when I’m not directing I do effects work and when I’m direct a picture I supervise the effects in the planning stage and then let my crew take over on the day to day issues with fabricating and operating on the set.

    Do you find your casting based on who you enjoyed being around on other sets?

    Robert Kurtzman: Obviously you always try to surround yourself with people that you have a good working relationship with but it’s really about casting the right actor for the part. On this film almost all the actors were local New Mexico talent and only the two leads, Sean and Joey were brought in. I had never worked with any of them before.

    Were you on the set of Predator when Jean Claude Van Damme was fired? Did you get a sense that he wasn’t going to be happy inside the suit?

    Robert Kurtzman: No. I was hired as part of Stan Winston’s crew after all that went down and they decided to change the look of the monster. I worked in the studio but never went to set in Mexico.

    Now the Party Favors chats with producer David S. Greathouse:

    What made you bring Deadly Impact together?

    David Greathouse: I had really wanted to make an action film with Robert for a while and I knew it would be a fun challenge to try to make with the resources we had.

    With the Viper system, did you have post-production during production? Is it nice not to have to wait for dailies when on location?

    David Greathouse: Yes, it’s always nice to be able to look at the footage before you leave a set to insure you have everything you need. Obviously, this eliminates the potential for costly re-shoots.

    As a producer, what do you feel is your prime responsibility to the movie project?

    David Greathouse: There are a lot of equally important responsibilities that change as the production moves from phase to phase. During development, the main thing is to get the money to make the film. During production it’s to make sure the money is spent wisely and insure the team’s creative vision is being recorded. During post, it’s to support the director and make sure he has the tools needed to make the film great. It really changes from minute to minute depending on the circumstances.

    What is your favorite myth about producers?

    David Greathouse: That we are all rich!

    New Mexico seems to be attracting a lot of productions. What drew you to the state?

    David Greathouse: Initially, the incentives. But, I’ve made a lot of films there now and I keep going back because of the crew that I am so fortunate to work with while in New Mexico. I’ve made good friends with some very talented people out there.

    Did you have to avoid certain locations since they’d been used in Breaking Bad?

    David Greathouse: No, we shot this film before Breaking Bad began production.

    Is it nice to work with a director who knows how to work out an effect without it busting the budget? Or did Robert Kurtzman still want to push the budget?

    David Greathouse: Robert and I have been good friends for a long time and we collaborate very well. He tells me what he needs and I try to get it for him. When it turns out that the budget can’t support the idea he has he knows it’s not me being cheap but that it’s just too expensive. He and I work together to find a suitable alternative. It’s a good partnership.

    What was it like to make Teenage Caveman with Larry Clark (Kids and Bully)?

    David Greathouse: At the time, I was a development executive for Stan Winston Productions. Teenage Caveman was one of ten projects we developed for the creature feature series for HBO. Of those ten scripts the studio chose the five that were to get made. Working on that project was…interesting.

    Did you get to work directly with Samuel Z Arkoff on your early productions? If so, what essential lessons did you learn from him?

    David Greathouse: Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity to work with Sam.

    GET THE CRAZY

    I watch Pretty Wild to mock the three wannabe models and their dippy mother who used to be an underwear model. It’s Must Spite TV at the compound. In the middle of an episode, the mother starts quoting The Secret. I started howling at how this woman has latched onto the fad quasi-religion until it struck me that she’s a success story of the book. All her life she has imagined herself as a famewhore and now she’s there. She’s got a TV series on E! She’s got a camera crew that swear her moronic trio of young girls are famous. And I’m watching her. What I don’t get is what image she put on her mirror to make her wish to be a fame whore. According to The Secret infomercial, a kid put up a pic of a bike and wished for one until his mommy bought him that bike. In my day, we called that incessant whining. What did Pretty Wild mom worship for success? The best guess is a picture of the Kardashians – the ultimate family of famewhores. And it paid off since they’re E! neighbors. I’m going to go put a picture of The Secret book on my mirror in hopes that I find a copy discarded next to a dead possum carcass.

    BOTTOMS UP

    Those washed up celebrities on Sober House really need to chill out with a couple shots of Scotch. Can the producers quit referring to that one guy as the lead singer of Crazy Town. He’s only famous now for being a constant guest star on VH1’s Rehab shows.

    THE SALLY JESSY TREATMENT

    WHACK A MOVIE

    What producer of Transformers has major plans to make a movie out of Chuck E. Cheese? You thought Stretch Armstrong was the rock bottom of Hollywood creativity, wait till Chuck E. Cheese: The Cinematic Slice hits the screen in the summer of 2012. Nic Cage wants the lead role bad. Rumor has it the script pages will taste about the same as the pizza.

    BLU-RAY HEAVEN

    Avatar Blu-ray + DVD combo arrives in time for your Earth Day celebrations. James Cameron has finally made an eco-thriller that entertains. Remember when Steven Seagal crash and burned with Fire Down Below? We’re taken to another world dubbed Pandora where the blue Na’vi battle fierce creatures to survive. A heartless corporation wants to mine the lush land for a rare element. Their big plot to take care of the natives involving fake Na’vi that are mentally controlled by marines. Things go wrong in the program when the tough military minds go native inside their blue avatar bodies. Can the military industrial complex overcome love? The coolest part of the film is how the CGI world looks like Roger Dean’s paintings done for Yes albums. It’s like the kinda fantasy landscapes dreamt up by a college sophomore getting wasted in his dorm room while listening to Rush’s Moving Pictures. Now that kid can get wasted while watching Avatar if they have an HDTV. If they only have a standard TV, they can still enjoy the otherworldly explosive romance with the DVD and hold onto the Blu-ray for when they go home to watch mom do their laundry.

    The Blu-ray’s 1080p image is stunning on parents’ HDTV. The details come out of the floating jungle. You can hit freeze frame and have instant art on the wall. For those wanting to truly get lost in the screen, this not the 3-D version. No news when that will be released so you can watch it on the 3-D TV over at HH Gregg. This is a barebones edition. No commentary tracks or behind the scenes features that explain the creation of the Roger Dean influenced world. Word is that the mega-edition of Avatar will be coming in time for Christmas. But why wait to enjoy the action of blue people versus marine space helicopters? Here’s a little video sample to remind you why this was the biggest box office hit of all time.

    DVD SHELF

    Perry Mason Season 5, Volume 1 contains 15 more of the finest legal action. Raymond Burr plays the lawyer that never lets his clients down. He’s the man in the courtroom who never looks foolish. “The Case of the Malicious Mariner” has a First officer toss a million dollars worth of cargo into the sea to avoid capsizing. His captain is murdered before he can testify at the maritime court. Perry has to clear this guy of the dumping and the homicide. “The Case of the Crying Comedian” suspects Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester) of evil! A comic returns to town to find his lost love. However she’s married even though the guy is a creep that’s had her tossed into the looney bin a few times. The bad husband ends up in the grave. Did the comic kill him with laughter? “The Case of the Unwelcome Bride” gives the teaming of DeForest Kelley (Star Trek‘s Dr. McCoy) and Alan Hale Jr (Gilligan’s Island‘s The Skipper. A dad feels his son’s wife has made him a loser. He’s not quite thrilled when she’s the main suspect in his son’s death. Can Perry bring them together? The series remains effective and thrilling with Perry making fools of DA Hamilton Burger and Lt. Tragg. There’s no bonus features. The nice thought is that the first half of the series is finally out on DVD.

    I Love Lucy: The Movie is the bonus disc from I Love Lucy: The Complete Series. Now all the folks who bought the individual boxsets can quit contemplating put their stuff on eBay for the sake of a single disc. Is it worth it? Yes. “I Love Lucy: The Movie” had them string 3 episodes together for a theatrical feature. The cool part is the opening which has people arrive to watch the filming of the show. Thrill to the soundstage which brought so much hilarity. William Frawley gets to be himself as he waves to the audience. “Lucy Goes to Scotland” is a colorized episode that looks like they had broken out the Technicolor cameras on the set. Using color film shot behind the scenes that day, the hue artists get it right. The crazy redhead really does have red hair as she dreams of visiting the town. There are clips of the show winning the Emmy. Desi Arnaz takes time to point out that there needs to be awards for the writers at the Emmys. What a class act of a guy. It is nice to have this on the shelf so I no longer fight the impulse to buy the Complete Series.

    Tales From The Darkside: The Third Season gives us more bumps in the night from executive producer George Romero (Night of the Living Dead). This was a syndicated series that aired in the mid-80s on Saturday night along with Friday 13th: The Series. Tales was a horror anthology with plenty of familiar faces to get spooked. “The Geezenstacks” gives us Larry Pine and a haunted dollhouse. “The Milkman Cometh” has Robert Forster and Seymour Cassel getting wishes fulfilled by the guy from the dairy. “My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” reminds us of when Jeff Conaway wasn’t a near vegetable on VH1 Rehab shows. “Everybody Needs a Little Love” is an early version of Lars and the Real Girl with Jerry Orbach (Dirty Dancing). There’s 22 episodes with enough queasy chills and jolts to keep you up past midnight. Let’s start the rumor that the fourth (and final season) will be out before Halloween.

    Penn & Teller Bullshit: The Seventh Season is investigative journalism from the infamous magic act that aired on Showtime. The duo know how to do a cable news show since their special reports often feature nudity. The topics are conversation worthy. “Videogames” has them give a gun to a child who likes shooter games. Does he have the will to kill? “Orgasms” questions folks who claim they can make you rock it like a porn star. How much are people willing to pay to pop? “Apocalypse” debunks the whole 2012 end of the world business. Does this mean I’ll have to pay for my living room? “Organic Foods” was not sponsored by Whole Foods. “Lawns” delves into people who go nuts over their grass. What’s wrong with an astroturf front yard? Nine near-Freakonomically episodes are spread over 2 DVDs. Why aren’t these episodes rerun on Comedy Central after Colbert?

    SWEDE ROCK

    If you only can attend one rock festival this summer, let it be Sweden Rock Festival. This is the only place I know that dares to book the ultimate line up including Guns N’ Roses, Slayer, Danzig, Aldo Nova and Rick Springfield. Imagine how cool it would be to be partying backstage with Axl, Aldo, Danzig and Rick. The festival is from July 9-12 in Solvesborg. Hopefully that Icelandic volcano won’t kill the fun. Anvil is part of the show. Maybe they can make another film about them hanging with Aldo and Rick. Axl will just kick their ass for pointing a camera at him. You can get more info at www.swedenrock.com.

    COMING SOON

    James Cameron Plants a Tree in 3-D. Adjust your red and blue flames accordingly.

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