Category: Joe Corey’s Party Favors

LONDON – You can’t keep a wicked Cylon down.

Battlestar Galactica is back with another time during William Adama’s life explored. Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome takes us to the early years of the battle between humans and Cylons. Straight out of flight school, Adama (Skins‘ Luke Pasqualina) gets assigned to the Battlesstar Galactica. Instead of getting a Viper to attack the Cylons, he’s stuck on a Raptor with Coker Fasjovik (Stargate Atlantis‘s Ben Cotton). They think they’re assigned a boring missions when they take aboard a passenger, but they end up in the heart of the battle. The movie works for people who haven’t sat through all four seasons of the revived BSG.

In an interesting pattern release, Machinima originally ran a cut of the movie as a 10 part webisode series. The movie currently airs on Syfy. A longer cut of the film will be released on February 19th with a home video package with Blu-ray, DVD, digital download via iTunes and Ultraviolet streaming access. There’s no news if you can buy a 4K version for UHD.

To celebrate the release, the Party Favors was invited to join a conference call featuring Luke Pasqualina and Ben Cotton. The duo called in from both sides of the Atlantic. Luke was in England where an ambulance siren dominated part of the chat. Ben was somewhere in North America. Yet you could sense that their time working together on the project had made them good pals as they swapped off answering questions like a doubles tennis team.

This wasn’t Ben’s first time in the Battlestar universe. He played the role of Terrified Man in Battlestar Galactica: Razor. When my question time came up, I asked what was it like to return to project?

“Well for Razor. I mean I was there for a day,” Ben said. “It was fairly short and sweet; I think I was in and out by lunch. I was playing a character. You barely saw my face.”

He gets to show a lot more of his face in Blood & Chrome and had more meals at the studio.

“I think we had 15 shooting days and then we rehearsed for another week before that. So the process was a far greater undertaking for sure. There was a character there.” Viewers won’t confuse his Coker with the Terrified Man.

Jonas Pate directed the film. He and his twin brother Josh Pate had made their mark back in the ’90s with films and the series Surface and Good vs. Evil. Jonas had directed an episode of the revived Battlestar Galactica. I asked what’s it like to work with half of the Pate brothers?

“I’ve only met Jonas,” Ben said. Before he could say too much, an ambulance with sirens blaring went past Luke. The conversation had to take a pause.

“For me I absolutely – I loved it,” Luke chimed in. “I absolutely loved working with Jonas; just from the moment I met him and in the screen test to the day we wrapped on that show. Jonas just gave us nothing but confidence in ourselves and in the show. And he, you know, he’s a big Battlestar fan himself. So he’s so passionate about working and directing us. And, you know, he was just really passionate about the material and to kind of see that passion in someone that’s directing me it really does reflect on you as an actor.”

“Absolutely,” Ben seconded.

“And I think I speak for Ben when I say that as well. It really was,” Luke said.

“Absolutely,” Ben agreed.

“It really was,” Luke said. “You know, he made us feel nothing but entirely relaxed and so cool and calm. He never lost his head and it was just – you know, just to see that kind of level of – kind of security in himself was brilliant. It really did help us with our performances.”

“I thought it was wonderful,” Ben said. “I thought Jonas gave us all kinds of freedom. You know, like Jonas is what I would call an active director. It was about – you know, at some points I thought, you know, he’s allowing us a lot of nuance; a lot of things that you’re allowed to do more in film than in TV because most of the time in TV it’s hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And you got to talk fast as part of the process. And Jonas would allow us to find it and to do the work and to have relationship that was a little bit beyond just the work which I think really helped to create chemistry between the characters.”

That was the end of our part of the phone conference. But a few interesting points were brought up as answers to the questions of others.

Before assuming the role of William Adama, Luke did swap emails with the second William Adama, Edward James Olmos (Lorne Greene died in 1987). What did the two actors chat online about?

“None of it was about the work in terms of material, script and performance,” Luke said. “It was all about what to expect. I didn’t want any advice in terms of performance from Eddie because seeing Adama at the age I portray him compared to the age Eddie portrayed him is two completely different stages of anyone’s life. I didn’t want anything Eddie said to me to upset my interpretation of material.”

What’s remarkable about Blood & Chrome is the lack of real sets. After the revived series wrapped up, the props and sets were sold or destroyed. The new film was a digital production. What was the biggest challenge to the actors?

“The hardest part was the helmet,” Ben said. “It’s hard to breathe in those helmets. I didn’t find it to be too much of a challenge.

“I was kind of daunted by the whole thing when I first realized the scale of how much green screen we’d be using,” Luke said. “Our props and a lot of the foreground stuff on our sets were props we could touch and move around. The hardest thing for me was the stuff in the space ship. When something hit the windscreen or something flies over our head, we only had a tennis ball to follow. We adapted to it a lot quicker than we thought.”

“It becomes a little bit like a black box theater situation,” Ben observed. You just have to use your imagination.

The lack of scenery to chew allowed the actors to focus on each other.

“It really came from me and Ben becoming such close friends,” Luke said. “We didn’t feel that we didn’t have to hold back on any kind of performance. If I wanted to shout at him, I could shout at him. If I wanted to laugh at him, I could laugh at him. If I wanted to scream in his face, I could scream in his face. We had so much confidence in our performance. Jonas (Pate) gave us a lot of free range as far as improvisation. If anything was out of character, they just didn’t use it in the final edit.”

“It was really fun,” Ben said. “You get to work with an actor who is going to hand it back to you when you hand it to them. It just kind of rises. It keeps going and keeps going. It was cool, really cool.”

Neither actor knew if there would be any further adventures of Adam and Coker, but both sounded eager to work together.

Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome Blu-ray contains has deleted scenes and a featurette about the visual effects. The Blu-ray also has a DVD, a way to download a digital version and stream from Ultraviolet so you can enjoy the film while being pursued by Cylons.

BIG TV

I’ll admit that I drooled at the news of a 110″ Ultra High Def TV that delivers the 4K image. But then it hit me – what is anyone really going to do with such resolution? My local Fox and ABC stations run their signal at 720P. The same is true for ESPN and dozens of other cable stations. It’s just hard to get excited over a technology that costs more than my house yet provides less content than a doorknob. It’ll be ready for me in a decade.

FULL FRAME PASSES

The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival is April 4-7 and the passes are on sale. Come on down to Durham, North Carolina for the friendliest film festival. Here’s the info:

Want to get tickets to your favorite docs at Full Frame before they go on sale to the public? Then don’t miss out on your chance to purchase a PASS to our 16th annual festival! Quantities are limited, so act fast – only the 15 PASS and 20+ PASS remain!

THE 15 PASS ($225)

ONE ticket to 15 films/events, EARLY access to tickets (Mar 20-Apr 1), UNLIMITED access via the Last Minute Line, FREE tote bag and festival program book

THE 20+ PASS ($550)
ONE ticket to 20 films/events, FIRST access to tickets (Mar 18-Apr 1), FIRST access to seating, ACCESS to the festival’s Hospitality Suite, UNLIMITED access via the Last Minute Line, FREE tote bag and festival program book

HOW TO PURCHASE A PASS
ONLINE: https://store.fullframefest.org/Online/default.asp
BY PHONE: 919.684.4444, Mon-Fri 11am-6pm
BY MAIL: 2013 Pass Mail-In Order Form available HERE
IN PERSON: at the Duke University Box Office, Mon-Fri 11am-6pm

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

The Insider was a rather shocking film back in 1999 when it dared to show how network news would kill a story to not upset powerful corporations. Of course this was done when TV news became a cheap media that overflows with pundits and low hanging fruit stories. Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe) is a scientist willing to blow his non-disclosure agreement to expose how cigarette makers spike their smokes with addictive agents. Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino) is a 60 Minutes producer eager to bust the story. But the network isn’t too eager to make it a major exposure. Why? Mike Wallace (Christopher Plummer) isn’t ready to go to the ropes for this story. Early in his TV career, Wallace was the spokesman for Parliament cigarettes, a product of Phillip Morris. Was he tainted by his former paycheck?. The focus of The Insider is how CBS is scared at exposing corporate secrets even if they are destroying the health of Americans. Director Michael Mann gets underneath the conflict between journalism and corporations doing each other a favor. By the end of the movie, you’ll not want to smoke or trust TV news. Crowe gets to show off his acting muscles as he aged up for the role. The film was up for numerous Oscars, but got smoked by American Beauty. The bonus features are a seven minute vintage production featurette and the trailer.

That Obscure Object of Desire comes from the blissful imagination of surrealist Luis Bunuel. Fernando Rey (The French Connection) is a rich man who falls hard for a flamenco dancer. While that part sounds conventional enough, the movie is told in flashback with the dancer being played by Carole Bouquet and Angela Molina with a random swapping. This is a twisted love between the old man and the dancer. She teases him and he pleases her. She claims a man that might be her love is a fake boyfriend. He kind of buys it. But how long can this go on? There are plenty of surreal touches on the screen including the ending. Bunuel didn’t compromise even if the movie could have so easily been a normal romantic comedy. The movie was nominated for Best Foreign Film and Best Adapted Screenplay in 1977. Bonus features include an interview with both actresses that played the dancer and “A Portrait of Luis Bunuel.” This is a fine 1080p transfer of a classic film.

DVD SHELF

The Hardy Boys: Season Three marks two major changes for the series that was a Dynamite magazine favorite. Fans might be wondering why this boxset isn’t called The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries: Season Three. Well it turns out that Pamela Sue Martin quit the show during season two. They had brought in a replacement Nancy Drew for a few episodes. Things had to change just because Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson were no longer teens tagging along with their detective dad. Thus this season Frank and Joe became the Hardy Men. “The Last Kiss Of Summer” starts Joe (Cassidy) falling in love and bent on marriage. But the romance ended quick when they get into a car wreck caused by a drunk driver. Joe recovers from his injuries, but she’s dead. He devotes his life to track down the killer. Turns out the guy is being watched by the feds so they’re not going to cuff him for a mere drunk driving homicide. Joe goes rogue to befriend the killer and bring down his mob empire. Mills Watson best known as Deputy Perkins on Sheriff Lobo gets to play a mean hood. Kevin Tighe (Emergency!) gets to ignore a wreck on the side of the road. Anne Lockhart (Battlestar Galactica) is a confused girlfriend. The end of the show sets up this season as Joe and Frank get hired by their dad to join the Justice Agency. The two teens now have full time jobs as undercover agents. “Assault on the Tower” shows how dangerous the new gig can be when dad vanishes in London. The boys team up with Patrick Macnee (The Avengers) to find the abductors. Macnee has fun with his John Steed image. “Search for Atlantis” gets more adult when the boys join a dig in Greece looking for heroin. John Colicos takes time off playing Baltar on Battlestar Galactica to be a suspected narcotics kingpin. “Defection to Paradise” is a two part special that brings the Bread. David Gates brings all the seventies superhits of Bread when he performs. Frank and Joe are brought onto the Hawaiian show when Gates’ amp is missing after a gig in the U.S.S.R. Nehemiah Persoff isn’t happy about things. They really shot part of this show in Hawaii unlike their other foreign locations. The sad thing is that making the Hardy Boys more adult didn’t snag more viewers from 60 Minutes on Sundays at 7 p.m. The show only made it to 10 episodes before the brother uncovered the axe. What a shame since this is my favorite season of the series even without Nancy Drew action.

Matlock: The Eight Season s the penultimate time that Ben Matlock (Andy Griffith) rule justice with a noble heart and a hotdog addiction. This was his second season shooting out of Wilmington, North Carolina so there’s a pep to Matlock’s courtroom swagger. He enjoyed home cooking even if it was a hotdog. This season marked the end of Conrad Masters (Clarence Gilyard) as Andy’s go to guy. His role was completely taken over by Cliff Lewis (Daniel Roebuck). But don’t feel bad for Gilyard since he’d soon nab a role on Walker Texas Ranger. “The Play” puts Matlock on stage in a small role. The part grows when he has to defend the director. Rene Auberjoinois gets to break the fourth wall. “The Fatal Seduction” involves Jeri Ryan. She’s tied in with a two murders in North Carolina. “The View” puts Matlock in a Rear Window situation. “The Last Laugh” makes Matlock defend a comedian accused of killing the comic that dissed him onstage. This has nothing to do with Joe Rogen versus Carlos Mencia. Milton Berle is involved in the die laughing drama. “The Haunted” is a plastic surgery gone really bad. John de Lancie (Q on Star Trek: The Next Generation) gets to nip tuck. “Matlock’s Bad, Bad, Bad Dream” makes him imagine he’s defending a client in 1932. What makes it a nightmare is the arrival of Jeff Conway (Taxi). “The Murder Game” has Matlock stuck at a murder mystery weekend with the gang. But things turn real fast and Matlock gets to play real lawyer once more. “The P.I.” screws up the photo subject on a stakeout. George Peppard (A-Team & Banacek) gets to tangle with Matlock when is plan falls apart. “The Idol” makes Ben defend a guy who emulates his style. John Beck (Moonpie in Rollerball) is part of the problem. Only one more season until the end.

Gunsmoke: The Seventh Season, Volume 2 has the cast not looking too worn out as their first hour long season comes to an end. What’s the secret to not letting Marshal Dillon (James Arness), Chester (Dennis Weaver), Doc (Milburn Stone) and Miss Kitty (Amanda Blake) looks chipper? The show had the guest stars taking up a lot of the extra screen time. The visitors to Dodge City get to carry the plenty of the stories while the cast supports them. Edgar Buchanan (Petticoat Junction) is a drunk rescued from the side of the road in “Old Dan.” He wants to stay clean, but he misses the drink so much. When he loses his reserve, things go out of control. “Catawomper” gets Chester in trouble when the woman he woos turns out to be using his as tool against her ex-lover. Dick Sargent (Bewitched) and Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.) are mixed in with the yanking. Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) gets to play Mexican in “He Learned About Women.” Chester gets captured by comancheros and needs to escape. “Reprisal” tells the tale of a rancher who enjoyed leaving the wife at home while he enjoyed getting drunk and gambling with strange women in Dodge City. He goes out of control one night and Matt has to put him down. The nice wife wants a piece of Matt. “Wagon Girls” brings a wagon train of women through Dodge City. They’re off to marry rich miners in Colorado. Matt suspect they’re being scammed. Amongst the brides-to-be is Ellen Burstyn. William Schallert (The Patty Duke Show) is part of the heartbreaking mess. “Cale” makes Carl Reindel a suspect when he wakes up in the barn during a horse theft. All you need to know about “The Boys” is that it features Harry Dean Stanton (Big Love), George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke) and Michael Parks (Kill Bill). The transition to full hour worked for Gunsmoke since it allowed the series to be more cinematic than radio drama with pictures. It should also be noted that bartender Glenn Strange had previously played Frankenstein’s monster in House of Frankenstein, House of Dracula and Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. The bonus feature is a few words from the sponsors.

Bonanza: The Official Fifth Season, Volume 1 & 2 keeps the Cartwrights still battling on and off their huge Ponderosa ranch. “She Walks In Beauty” makes Hoss (Dan Blocker) think Gena Rowlands (Woman Under the Influence) loves him. Turns out she’s got eyes for his brother Adam (Pernell Roberts). Charles Dickens arrives for “A Passion for Justice.” Jonathan Harris (Lost In Space) plays the novelist who has a bumpy stay at the ranch. “Calamity Over the Comstock” lets Calamity Jane(Stephanie Powers) drop by the ranch. She’s looking for Little Joe (Michael Landon). “Journey Remembered” lets Ben (Lorne Greene) tell Hoss about his mother. “The Legacy” lets James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) play evil when he arrives at the ranch after a stay in prison. James Doohan (Scotty on Star Trek) has a bit part. Things get goofy on “Hoss and the Leprechauns.” “Ponderosa Matador” has the boys tangle for the affections of a senorita. They settle it like men with a bull fight. “Alias Joe Cartwright” gets the boy in trouble when an escaped prisoner looks like him. His hope of freedom involves two Kubrick actors: Keenan Wynn (Dr. Strangelove) and Joe Turkel (The Shining). “Bullet For a Bride” turns Joe into a groom thanks to a ricochet. Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard & Grizzly Adams) gets into the wedding action. “King of the Mountain” brings on Slim Pickens (also from Dr. Strangelove). They find another Cartwright in “Return to Honor.” Turns out Guy Williams (Zorro & Lost In Space) is Will Cartwright, Ben’s nephew. He sticks around for several other episodes He’s not as clean cut as the boys. “The Saga of Muley Jones” has the FDA’s allowance of Strother Martin (The Wild Bunch). Hoss gets his order for Chinese fireworks lost in translation. What he gets in back is a Chinese bride played by Marlo Thomas (That Girl). Does he have to return her? “Enter Thomas Bowers” creates an issue when a famous singer arrives to perform at the Virginia City Opera House. The guy looks like a runaway slave since he’s played by William Marshall (Blacula). That’s right: it’s Hoss meets Blacula. “The Dark Past” brings Dennis Hopper (Blue Velvet) into town. There’s 34 episodes spread over two volumes that are sold as a season set. There’s plenty of extras including the original bumpers and ads. Dan Blocker and Lorne mock themselves on The Andy Williams Show. There’s a lot of photos and the review from the New York Times. Lorne Greene chats with the CBC since he’s Canadian.

The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams: Season Two is the finale of the beloved ’70s nature show. Grizzly Adams (Dan Haggerty) headed to the wilderness when he was accused of a crime he didn’t commit. The first half season of the show proved popular. Dan himself became a superhero by anchoring the NBC team on Battle of the Network Stars. The 24 episodes bring back the heartwarming charm of Grizzly and his pet bear Ben. Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) returns as Mad Jack, the pal and biographer of Grizzly. Quite a few people wander past Grizzly’s cabin. “Gold Is Where You Find It” reteams Larry Storch and Forrest Tucker (F Troop and The Ghost Buster). I won’t give away the plot of “The Spolers.” Don Lynch (Mr. Haney on Green Acres) cause the trouble. “The Seekers” spots Keenan Wynn (Dr. Strangelove). “The Skyrider” soars with Russ Tamblyn (Twin Peaks). “Once Upon a Starry Night” glows with Ken Curtis (Festus on Gunsmoke). While the show only lasted a scant season and a half, Grizzly Adams made its mark. Dan Hagerty is as much a ’70s icon as the cast of CHiPs, Love Boat or Welcome Back, Kotter.The show blended a nature special with an adventure series. The show did get resolved with a TV movie years later, but that’s not included here. If you’re a fan of the show, you can call up Dennis Hof’s World Famous Bunny Ranch and get Dan Haggerty to officiate your wedding. Sadly enough Ben the Bear as passed away so you’ll have to

The Bouquet is a heartwarming tale of family that fits perfectly into the spring season. Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Killer) returns home for a family emergency. She’s been a way for quite a while. Her sister (Alberta Mayne) is the one who stayed home and helped take care of the family’s flower business. Turns out things aren’t going to so great on the ledger books. Kristy thinks she has a solution, but her sister is bitter since she never cared about helping anyway. Can Kristy reach a common ground with her sister and do what’s truly the best for the family? Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon) gets pulled into the blooming relationship. The bonus feature is a behind the scenes glimpse. It’s a DVD worthy of being sent with a bouquet of flowers.

The Liability brings Tim Roth back to be a buttkicker after his time on Lie to Me. The movie is a flip on his time in The Hit. Except instead of being the assistant to a hitman, he’s not the old timer having to show the ropes of the killing game to the rookie hoodlum. The kid (Skins‘ Jack O’Connell) isn’t supposed to be a hoodlum. He wrecks an expensive car and mom’s boyfriend isn’t happy that the slacker boy doesn’t care. To pay off the car, the boy gets a job as the driver for Tim Roth. Did I mention Tim and the mom’s boyfriend are part of the mobster world? The kid gets a journey into a world of hookers and bullets. Will he bond with mom’s man or end up in a shallow grave? This is my favorite Roth performance in a long while. The bonus feature is a behind the scenes featurette.

Sinister takes us back to the world of 8mm films from the producer of Paranormal Activity and Insidious. The movie opens with home movie footage of a family of four being hung from a tree limb. Ethan Hawke (Before Sunrise) has moved into the area to write his latest true crime book. There’s a hint that he’s supposed to be Joe McGuiness (Fatal Vision) based on his Bennington t-shirt. What he hasn’t quite explained to his wife and kids is that they’re living in the murdered family’s house. Fred Thompson takes a break from reverse mortgages to play the sheriff who doesn’t like the kind of books Hawke writes. This immersion investigation gets off to a bizarre start when he pokes around in the attic and finds a crate of 8mm films. Turns out they aren’t holiday flicks of the hanging family. There are other families in the footage meeting their demise. Hawke does his best to find clues in the frame. Hawke’s family starts to freak out from being in the dead family’s house. He also freaks out in the dark house that has plenty of creaks and bangs. Who is Mr. Boogie? Best to watch this with the lights out and the surround sound cranked.

The Men Who Built America is the History Channel’s series that covers the icons of the Industrial Revolution in America. Over the course of eight episodes you’ll catch up on all that history you failed to cover in high school when the school year ended right after the Civil War. The series starts with the death of Lincoln so you can finally catch up on your education. The big names are here including Ford, Rockefeller, Carnegie, Morgan and Vanderbilt. The show mixes dramatic recreations with modern experts pontificating about the impact. The show does point out that their empires weren’t forged with a gentle hand. A lot of people got paid the price for them to become the corporate elite. Blood flooded as workers battled with company paid hired goons and detectives. The unions evolved from these struggles. The production is rich in drama for the recreation scenes. The bonus features are sequences clipped from the TV cut.

Swamp People: Season 3 takes us back down to Louisiana for gator hunting season. These men have a limited time to hunt down the reptiles and sell their skins for fashionable clothes. It’s a dangerous profession. They use a lot of ingenuity to capture their prey. Bruce hires an Iraqi war vet to be a sniper. My favorite moment of the season is when two hunters have to figure out a unique way to float the dead gators to their boat on the other side of a levee. Besides the teeth of the gators, the hunting season gets dangerous when a Hurricane is coming at them. They can’t afford to take the day off since that would cut into their quota. Mitchell Guist passed away during this season from a non-gator related incident. The 22 episodes are spread over 6 DVDs. The bonus feature is about a half hour of scenes clipped before broadcast. The new season of Swamp People starts on Feb. 20.

Black’s Game reminds us that a plus for national healthcare is not wondering how your victims will pay their hospital bills when you beat them down. Who would expect Iceland to have a criminal underworld? They’re a land of volcanoes, snow and pixies like Bjork. But they do have an underbelly between the ice and lava. A kid gets in trouble and needs a pal to help bail him out before the law comes down on his ass. Trouble is the cost of the help is membership into his pal’s criminal organization that deals drugs. Turns out the kid has a natural talent for the seedy business and rises fast in the ranks. But is his heart really into it? The movie’s executive producer is Nicholas Winding Refn, the director of Drive starring Ryan Gosling. It has a great look and feel as the camera visits places in Iceland that aren’t shown on Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations. While there is an English dub track, it sounds like it was recorded by the folks who do the sight impaired description tracks. You’ll want to hear Black Jack in the native tongue with English subtitles. There’s a segment about the film from an Icelandic TV station. The interviews are subtitled.

Storage Wars: Volume 4 has 16 exciting episodes about the people who bid on abandoned storage lockers in California. This is pretty much the beginning of the end for Dave “Yuuuuuuuup” Hester. He’s currently suing the show claiming that it’s rigged and that many of discovered prizes are put into the boxes by the producers. It’s easy to tell that this isn’t just a camera crew following storage auctions. Right off the bat there’s not thousands of out of work actors dressed like Let’s Make A Deal eager to get screen time on a hit series. There’s no stranger with fat wads of bills making Barry Weiss look broke. These auctions are a controlled environment. This fact is perfectly acceptable to me since the highlight of the show isn’t the junk inside the lockers, but the trash tossed between the regular bidders. I’d watch just to see Jarrod and Brandi bicker to the point of murder-suicide. Darrell Sheets and his son aren’t quite so entertaining since they appear to be reality acting when they have issues with each other. Nabila arrives as the new guest bidder. She made a fortune off Paris Hilton’s locker and seems eager to see if Kim Kardashian forgot her bill. The episodes start with the trip to San Francisco that ended season two and the first half of season three. The Bonus feature is about 40 minutes of cut scenes. There’s a lot of great extra Barry moments. Barry should have been made Secretary of State. This guy knows how to chill people out and has experience with drones. Is Storage Wars real or fake? What matters is that it remains the most entertaining of all the Storage auction shows .

The Garfield Show: Spring Fun Collection has six episodes of the CGI cat adventure. Garfield is the lasagna eating cat who hates Mondays and abuses his dog pal. While it doesn’t quite feel like it with the recent blizzards, Spring is about to get sprung. “The Big Sneeze” has Jon (the human) sneezing when he’s around Garfield. Can he really be allergic to his cat? Will he have to send the kitty away? “Farm Fresh Feline” takes the cat and his pals into the country side. Can they really fool the lazy Garfield into doing chores? “The Bluebird of Happiness” sings for his life. Garfield must save his winged friend from being Harry’s dinner. “Stealing Home” isn’t about baseball. A stray cat named Bruno highjacks the house. Can Garfield restore order before Jon gets inside. “The Mole Express” destroys the backyard with the underground critters. “Parrot Blues” upsets people when a talking bird says evil things. There’s 5 bonus extra short cartoons included.

Martha & Friends: Martha’s Magnificent Egg takes the home entertaining Queen into a CGI universe. Not only is she animated, Martha has been turned into a little girl who still has all her crafty skills. She looks ready to hop in the Mystery Machine and expose old men with Scooby-Doo. The episode is just in time for Easter. Martha and her friends make Easter eggs. The person with the best egg gets to visit the White House for the egg roll. Marta and her friends do their best to visit 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. While this sounds like a strange concept, my three year old was curious about the crafts and the theme song. There’s also four webisodes about Valentine’s Day, cupcakes, more eggs and cool crafts. There’s even downloadable projects and recipes that make fun times with the kids. This seems to be a great way to get the kids eager to decorate the house for the upcoming holiday.

Slugterra: Return of the Shane Gang has arrived on DVD.

My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic: Pinkie Pie Party is a reason to bake a cake. The episodes included in the collection are “Feeling Pinkie Keen,” “Party Of One,” “Baby Cakes,” “A Friend In Deed” and “Too Many Pinkie Pies.” Who is Pinkie Pie? According to my preschool daughter, Pinky Pie is the best of all the ponies. She sings and has a baby alligator. What more can you want from a horse that knows how to bake? “Feeling pinkie Keen” explores her ability to know when something is going to go bad. “Party of One” has everyone coming up with an excuse to skip Pinkie Pie’s latest party. Are they really all busy? Why would they blow off the promise of a cake with candles? “Baby Cakes” makes Pinkie Pie babysit twins. It’s not an easy job. “A Friend In Deed” brigs a donkey into town. Can Pinkie Pie become a friend to the long ears? “Too Many Pinkie Pies” lets the pony get invited to too many events scheduled at once. She comes up with the right solution: cloning. The daughter was excited at seeing so much Pinkie Pie with the push of the play all button. The bonus features include Sing-Along moments and a Party Activity Kit. The DVD is a Walmart exclusive so Bronies will have to gallop over to get it.

Undefeated was a major surprise when it won last year’s Oscar for Best Documentary. The film about a high school football team had the same title as a lame Sarah Palin movie. This is not about a woman who can see Russia from her front door. This high school is rather troubled. The opening scene has the volunteer coach loses a few starters to gunshots. But this team is able to pull it together to have a great season. The filmmakers follow the players as they attempt to focus on the field and survive in the outside world. One of the kids becomes a hot recruit thanks to a youtube video. The harsh business of high school football really gets explored. You feel the difference between their program and the rich kids’ schools. The kids are really open with the filmmakers talking about their game and dreams. You feel nervous for them since there’s a chance they might get shot in their rough neighborhood. A couple of the kids are positively scary including the seemingly bipolar Chavis. This is so much better than so many of the ESPN documentaries on 30 at 30. The documentary voters of the Academy has come a long way since when they dismissed Hoop Dreams back in the 90s because it was video and not film. The movie gives a fine understanding about the players underneath the helmets. The bonus features include a commentary track with directors TJ Martin and Dan Lindsay discussing their time with the team to create such an intimate portrait. The Blu-ray brings out the texture of their lives.

BURBANK – How can the Razzies blow it so hard this year? The same goes to numerous critics across the country that post their worst of the year lists. How can so many give Dark Shadows a pass for badness? If ever there was a film that screamed for a torch and pitchfork gathering it’s Tim Burton’s craptacular attempt to turn the beloved Gothic ’70s Soap Opera into a kitsch soaked 21st Century movie.

How bad is this film? Producer Richard D. Zanuck and actor Jonathan Frid (the original Barabas Collins in the TV series that had a cameo in the film) lost their will to live. The only way this film could be worse is if it was called Tyler Perry’s Dark Shadows. But Tim Burton did an amazingly horrible job all on his own yet he missed out on the Razzie for directing. John Putch must have stolen it for Viewers Shrugged: They Made a Part II?

Sure the Razzies had to nominated the disaster of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure. That’s going to be taught in film schools about delusional independent productions. Adam Sandler needed to get a return with That’s My Boy even if it can’t hope to top the badness bar set by Jack & Jill. Battleship was dumb action at its crass product promotion worst. But the last Twilight installment is just lame compared to the painful vampire action of Dark Shadows Eddie Murphy’s lukewarm A Thousand Words should have been tossed in recycling and forgotten. What’s important is that none of these films were as completely worthless as Dark Shadows. None of them wasted the talent of Jackie Earle Haley and Johnny Depp finally coming together.

I’m still putting down my money on Tyler Perry winning both the Actor and Actress awards. The good news is that at least one biological woman will win an awards since none of the Supporting Actress nominees are hiding their candy. I’m rooting for Brooklyn Decker so that Dan Patrick will have to comfort her. But who will comfort me for having sat through the DVD of Dark Shadows? Tim Burton owes me 113 minutes of his life. He better plan on dropping by the house so he can watch me put fresh top soil on my Irises. I’ll even give him free popcorn and a lawn chair. He’s going to sit next to my mom so she can tell him, “The Story About the Time This Thing Happened That You Should Remember.” It’s a classic.

PAWN UP

Count me in with the people disturbed that the History Channel has kicked Olivia Black off Pawn Stars because she’s a Suicide Girl. History Channel calls the show Pawn Stars since it’s a play on Porn Stars. But when a minor worker has posed nude online, the TV executives treat it as a massive scandal. Here’s a little question to the fine upstanding people at the History Channel, did you know that the biggest star of cable whose wedding was a ratings bonanza on E! was in a full out sex tape? And she made it with a guy who would go onto have a hit series on VH1. Kim Kardashian had some of the lamest sex in the history of amateur videos. Yet that didn’t’ stop middle America from blindly following her fake wedding.

There’s a report that Rick Harrison has told her that she’s not fired from working at the store which is good to know he’s not throwing her under the bus. Olivia needs to return to the show otherwise Chumlee only gets to flirt with the Old Man. That’s not fun.

THE FACE WORTH A TRILLION DOLLARS

Please sign my White House petition demanding that the Trillion Dollar Coin features Henry Winkler on the head and a Shark on the tail. wh.gov/PXO0

I’d be remiss without reminding you that Winkler’s in the new season of Arrested Development that will be on Netflix Streaming starting in May. All 14 episodes will pop up at once so you can use your 30 day free trial to see them for free.

FOUND HGL

The Lost Films of Herschell Gordon Lewis collects three X-rated titles from near the end of the legendary director’s career. Lewis was known for making Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs (which inspired the band Ten Thousand Maniacs). But he had a sensitive side. Not all that sensitive. He just knew that in the late ’60s and early ’70s downtown skanky theaters ran X-rated content. Just look at the marquees in any shot of Times Square from that era. They weren’t running Disney fare around the clock. Ecstasies of Women is a classic softcore title about a bachelor party. The action opens at a Los Angeles strip club. A group of pals get to hear the soon to be married guy tells stories of seducing women and bringing them back to his houseboat to seal the deal. He gets more action on water than Quincy, Sonny Crockett and Admiral Nimitz combined. The bachelor party ends up on the waves with a few of the dancers. Linda and Abilene is an erotic Western. The story is a lady who wants to settle in the west, but ends up going south with a female bartender. Highlights include a cowboy who during his sex scene won’t pull down his jeans or take off his boots. This wasn’t taken from an episode of Gunsmoke. What makes this movie historic is the location. Lewis booked the Spahn Ranch while the Manson family was living there. Charlie and the gang don’t pop into the action. Black Love is a hardcore educational film. There’s an uncomfortable hilarity as the narrator attempts give a sense of purpose for filming people hooking up. During one scene they have a group of people dancing. Halfway through the scene, they get them to lose their tops to give the audience a sense that all these people aren’t the same. Was this ever an issue? While the other two titles are softcore, Black Love is a hard X. The state of sexploitation had changed at this point so that audiences in the grindhouses weren’t satisfied with guys wearing their jeans during frisky business. It’s a relief that these three films have been found so that all of Hershell Gordon Lewis’ cinematic legacy can be found on home video. The folks at Vinegar Syndrome did an amazing job with the 1080p transfers to make each film look better than when they ran in theaters.

I’m excited that the guys at Vinegar Syndrome have entered into the world of Blu-rays and DVDs. We’ve entered a sad period of time where studios are getting more into streaming their property. They have two DVD Drive-In Collection coming out on Feb. 12. The double features of Expectations/Confessions and Savage Water/Death by Invitation will take you back the days of cinema heard through crummy speakers hanging on the car window. What really excites me is their just announced Blu-ray of The Telephone Book. This is the greatest X-rated Comedy in the history of Cinema. It should be treated as the vault release of 2013. I raved about it when Cinema Overdrive showed it and you can now see the only X-rated film that features the stars of Star Trek, The Fugitive, Prizzi’s Honor and the voice of Ma Bell. There shall be more raves when they schedule a date. You must see this film.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Branded dares to combine advertising, monsters and rituals in one truly messed up movie. Ed Stoppard (Brideshead Revisited) is a Russian working at an advertising firm in Moscow. His boss is Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development) is happy to bring his niece (Eyes Wide Shut‘s Leelee Sobieski) over to help out. What he doesn’t expect is Ed and Leelee hooking up in a very public place. This rift cause Jeffrey to cease their partnership and send Leelee back to the States. In his despair Ed heads to the countryside to perform a strange cow sacrifice ritual that won’t be spoiled. After this religious moment, Ed sees how brands are living entities that feed off people. They’re giant CGI monsters that refuse to be stopped and battle each other. It’s an acid trip moment. Instead of merely going insane with such visions, Ed puts this knowledge to use as he rebuilds his business and gets rid of the competition. It’s like How to Get Ahead In Advertising and They Live with Russian influences. The Seventh Seal‘s Max von Sydow plays a marketing guru who figures out a ploy on how to sell being fat is good to burger eaters. The bonus feature is the directors and writers on a commentary track. A rather fine cast for a bizarre film about Madison Avenue in Moscow.

The Possession is best described as an Old Testament version of The Exorcist. The movie opens with some good old fashion demons gone wild action. An old lady wants to destroy a mysterious antique box covered in Hebrew words. But before she can bring the hammer down, she’s tossed around and killed by an invisible force. Leave to somebody to decide that instead of dumping the box in the garbage, they put it in a yard sale. This is where the daughter of Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen and Magic City) and Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) gets a hankering for it. Dad buys it for his little angel. Turns out the sweet antique makes noises and things get really weird when the girl opens it up. Like a really bad episode of The Antiques Roadshow, dad discovers what he bought was a dybbuk box. This rare item is used to store demons. Now the evil demon from the box is taking over his daughter. He has to seek a Jewish version of Max von Sydnow to clean up the yard sale mess. Playing that role is rapper Matisyahu. Morgan looks good at the concerned father who doesn’t want his little girl turning into a demon. There’s some good stomach twisting scenes involving eyeballs and throats. The bonus features include commentary tracks from the director and writers. A short feature delves into dybbuk boxes and why it’s not a good idea to collect them. The Blu-ray comes with codes so you can download a digital copy from iTunes and access an Ultraviolet version.

Dredd is very surprising action film. At first you wonder what’s the point in a new version of Judge Dredd? Is the comic book making a big comeback at Second Foundation? What could possibly make this worthy of a reboot? Right off the bat the new movie scores points for removing Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider from the screen. Amazing how a little Rob can reduce the macho levels to critical lows. Karl Urban (Bones in the latest Star Trek movie) fills the facially thankless role of Dredd. He lets his unshaven jaw control the pace of the film. His law enforcement officer of the future acts as cop, lawyer, judge and executioner to speed up the legal process. He seems to love the executioner part the most. He gets teamed up with a psychic partner (Juno‘s Olivia Thrilby) to bust a ganglord controlling a massive apartment building. They are trapped Inside the building after the blast doors are sealed. The structure becomes a shooting gallery as the henchmen go full force at Dredd and his partner. There’s a lot of renovation when the gang blows apart walls in their hunt. Flock swears this might be the best use of 3-D in a recent movie since it’s there to create depth in the environment and not just throw crap in your face. The South African sun adds a glimmer to the exterior moments. If you’re a fan of action films, this new Dredd is the real deal since it’s Rob Schneider-free. The Blu-ray lets you choose between regular or 3-D. They also have it set up for a Digital copy and Ultraviolet. You’ll never dread missing out on Dredd.

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution puts Sherlock Holmes in rehab. This cult favorite film focuses on the Holmes addiction to cocaine. Dr. Watson (Robert Duvall) becomes worried about how blotto Holmes (Excalibur‘s Nicol Williamson) has become. It’s screwing up their work. So he stages the ultimate intervention with Sigmund Freud (Little Miss Sunshine‘s Alan Arkin) supervising. Can the sleuth kick his habit? Freud uses hypnosis which unravels a few mysteries inside the man. Things get weird when the detox gets interrupted by a kidnapping. Holmes swears Professor Moriarty (Laurence Olivier) is involved, but the Professor might not be the criminal mastermind suggested by the drugged up genius. It does a fine job looking at the legendary detective as a troubled soul. Director Herbert Ross had previously explored the mythology of Bogart in Woody Allen’s Play It Again, Sam. The bonus feature is an interview with writer Nicholas Meyer. He’s best known for saving Star Trek as the director of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. He wrote the novel and script for The Seven-Per-Cent Solution which deserves its cult following among those who want a bit of grit on their version of Sherlock Holmes.

Death Race 3: Inferno is the best of the Death Race 2000 reboots. This one seems most attached to the spirit of the Roger Corman – Paul Bartel original. No longer is the concept of murderous race confined to a prison yard. Frankenstein (Hellboy II‘s Luke Goss) is back with his crew including Danny Trejo (the Gary Cole of the Tattoo World). He only has one more race to win to gain his freedom. But before the flag comes down, Ving Rhames loses control of his empire to Dougray Scott (the man who could have been Hugh Jackman). Dougray dreams of turning Death Race into a worldwide event at various other prisons. But he needs his superstar in the form of Frankenstein. He transports the man, his crew and car to a prison down in South Africa. The new rules of the event has them go cross country and throw quiet little villages. There’s plenty of metal carnage as the armed cars collide in the desert. Frankenstein must come up with a way to win not only the race, but his promised freedom. The stunts are exciting. There’s even women fighting it out for the chance to be the co-pilot. This deserves to be seen on a large screen TV with the volume cranked up so your neighbors fear you’ve gone into the Death Race business. The Blu-ray features the R-rated version and the unrated cut. Why would anyone want to watch the R-rated cut? You want the high octane of Danny Trejo. The bonus features include a director’s commentary, deleted scenes, the original opening (which isn’t as good as the one they used) and a making of documentary. Along with the Blu-ray, they’ve included the DVD, a copy you can download off iTunes and an access to the UltraViolet version. This means you can watch it on your own cross country trip.

DVD SHELF

Perry Mason: Season 8, Volume 2 wraps up the penultimate season of the seminal legal TV show. “The Case of the Golden Venom” brings a widow to the office on a secret mission. She wants Perry to quietly investigate how her son died. What hampers her is a clause in her husband’s will to disinherit her if she looks into the son’s death. Since she hires Perry, more bodies follow her son to the grave. Noah Berry Jr. (The Rockford File) might be in jeopardy. “The Case of the Feather Cloak” takes Perry (Raymond Burr) and Paul Drake (William Hopper) to Hawaii to look into a real estate deal. But they stumble into a homicide case involving a spearfishing gun. Keye Luke (Big Trouble In Little China) gets dragged into the case. “The Case of the Lover’s Gambler” puts Garry Collins (The Sixth Sense) on the DA staff of Hamilton Burger (William Tallman). He gets too close on a case and Burger wants to pull him. Fay Wray (King Kong) plays Gary’s mother. “The Case of the Murderous Mermaid” makes a swimming stunt go wrong. “The Case of the Careless Kitten” makes Perry ponder who doesn’t want to kill each other in a screwed up family. The death of a family cat seems to hold the clue. Allan Melvin (The Brady Bunch‘s Sam the Butcher) slices into the action. “The Case of the Duplicate Case” features a married woman with plenty of boyfriends and little business ethics. “The Case of the Grinning Gorilla” gives Della Street (Barbara Hale) a dead man’s sports stuff. Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut) wants to buy the stuff for his boss. There’s a gorilla drawn into the intrigue, but it’s not played by Gavin MacLeod (The Love Boat). “The Case of the Mischievous Doll” starts with a woman demanding Perry take a good look at her because he might have to identify him soon. Turns out she needs Perry’s help soon. The wrap up to season 8 works fine. There’s only one last year to come out on DVD. That’s the year Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman on The Six Million Dollar Man) joins the police force. The bonus feature is a short ad starring Burr about Law Day. Hug a lawyer for Perry.

The Other Dream Team reminds us that there was more to the ’92 Olympics than watching Michael Jordan hide a non-Nike logo on his uniform. The media latched onto the NBA Superstars including Larry Bird and Magic Johnson coming together to reinstate America’s domination on the hardcourt. But this wasn’t the real story coming out of Barcelona. When the Soviets won the gold in ’88, the stars of the team weren’t Russians. Sarunas Marciulionis and Arvydas Sabonis were from Lithuania. When the USSR fell apart, they were finally given a chance to represent their true country. But it wasn’t going to be easy since they didn’t have cash to put together a team and send it to the games. Instead of just giving up, they got funding from the oddest of sources. They didn’t get sponsorship from a sneaker company. They found their help from the Grateful Dead. They would go to Barcelona with one major goal: Beat Russia. The Other Dream Team does an amazing job at putting sports, politics and tie-dyed uniforms into perspective. These weren’t multi-millionaires taking the court to expand their brand. These were men showing to the world that they were now free and ready to posterize the Russians. This is the perfect documentary for anyone who needs to know that it’s not just a game. Bonus features include a Q&A session with director Marius A. Markevicius and Producer Jon Weinbach. They also contribute a commentary track to elaborate more on the team.

The inbetweeners Movie is the big wrap up for the English TV series (not to be confused with the version that aired on MTV). The four pals have graduated from school and are ready to celebrate. They go to the ultimate decadence location: the Greek Isles. They dream of partying down like the kids in a Blur video. Days on the beach and nights covered in foam at various bars. Naturally when they dream so big, they come crashing down. Turns out their hotel is a dump. They get fooled into entering the most boring of nightclubs. Things aren’t looking good until they meet some interested girls. But are things really going to work out for them on this vacation to manhood? The movie works without being a fanatic about The Inbetweeners series. The jokes aren’t completely aimed at the devoted. Who can’t relate to a less than advertised holiday trip? The film is Rated R so you get a little bit more than what you’d see on BBCAmerica. Bonus features include an interview and a commentary track with the cast. They have their own working vacation stories to share.

The Goode Family: The Complete Series was Mike Judge’s ill-fated primetime animation series that seemed to give the hippie teacher from Beavis and Butthead a starring role. After having a long running success with King of the Hill, Judge went from Walmart to Whole Foods for his latest subject. The Goode Family are doing their hardest to become the poster family for The Last Whole Earth Catalog. It’s tough to keep up with being right and proper in the world since there’s always that outside chance that you’re being duped by a business with false claims. Like when you go to Whole Foods and pick up the California mix of frozen veggies and discover the food is from China. Were you really doing good for the world? Mr. Goode (voiced by Mike Judge) lives in fear of making the wrong step as he maintains a devote liberal lifestyle. Their eldest son was their attempt to adopt a baby from South Africa. What they didn’t expect was a white South African baby. But they do their best to raise the child as if he was a Mandela. They also have a dog they’re raising vegan. This doesn’t do well for the pet who decides to supplement his “morally right” dog food with local animals. There is plenty of comedy in a world where you living in fear of being seen with the wrong kind of shopping bag. The show was rather good, but it’s hard to see that it could possibly last 13 seasons like King of the Hill. They did properly hire Brian Doyle-Murray (The Cream of the Murray Boys) to play Goode’s grandfather who thinks his son is a jerk for not enjoying a life of fried food and SUVs. Laraine Newman (original Not Ready for Primetime Player on Saturday Night Live) also provides a few voices. The Bonus features include commentaries on a few episodes and deleted scenes that are mostly abandoned in the pencil test phase. Judge sounds like he wished The Goode Family to return, but these 13 episodes pretty much take these characters as far as they need to go as leading figures.

Anger Management: Season One proves that you can go completely off your rocker and have good things happen. Charlie Sheen was sick of working on Two and a Half Men. Sure the show was pulling in high ratings, but he was turning into a lovable primetime character. How could the man best known for lost weekends with porn stars stay in such a role? He didn’t and America had to put up with the soap opera between him and Chuck Lorre for way too long. Charlie came out the best with Tiger Blood and Winning being better catch phrases than anything written for him on Two and a Half Men. After the split, Charlie wasn’t alienated by Hollywood. He immediately snagged a deal to adapt the movie Anger Management into a sitcom. Why not play up Charlie’s best traits in a TV show. He’s a man who is trying his hardest not to go nuts and beat people senseless. The character of Charlie Goodson is crafted to Sheen’s self-image. He’s an ex-baseball player whose temper tantrum ended his major league baseball career really quick. His girlfriend (Selma Blair) is also his therapist. His daughter (Daniela Bobadilla) is entering that dangerous age. His ex-wife (Shawnee Smith) dates guys that upset him. His favorite bartender is Brett Butler, who’s own on set antic made her a bit of a problem. His dad Martin Sheen plays his TV dad. It’s all in Charlie’s universe. While the show claims to be based on the Jack Nicholson movie, there’s no way to escape the influence of The Bob Newhart Show. Charlie has his cast of characters arrive for group therapy at both his office and a nearby prison. The difference is that we never thought Bob would sucker punch Jerry the Dentist. The first season is only 10 episodes, but FX announced they’ll be making 90 episodes over the next 2 years. It’s best to do things fast when you get Charlie interested in the project. The bonus features include an interview with Charlie where he expresses joy at the change of scenery. There’s also a gag reel to demonstrate how tensions aren’t built up.

Power Rangers Samurai: A Team Divided, Volume 3 brings the worst fear to the kids. One of them is under the control of Nighlok Madimot in “I’ve Got a Spell on Blue.” He’s forced to turn against his fellow Rangers. Can they fight him without injuring their friend? “Forest for the Trees” discovers that a few Zords can be combined to form a Battlewing. But jealousy crops up as they shuffle for objects. They are becoming selfish. “Test of the Leader” makes Bulk and Spike battle Moogers. Is Bulk now the world’s oldest teenager now that Dick Clark is gone? “Jayden’s Challenge” makes the member leave the team thinking it would make them safer. But he does need their help since there’s no escape from Moogers. Bonus features include an interview with the cast and a Dubstep video. Power Rangers are going Dubstep on your earholes.

Power Rangers Super Samurai: Rise of the Bullzooka, Volume 3 is the series that comes after Power Rangers Samurai. The four episodes here amps up the action and the color. “Runaway Spike” has the wannebe ranger studying under Bulk. Trouble is the rent is overdue and he needs a real job. However his failure at work leads to his best encounter with a ranger. Will he get his dream fulfilled? “The Strange Case of the Munchies” isn’t the devious. The kids learn that looking tough doesn’t really make you that tough. “A Sticky Situation” delves into how if certain members work together, they can be twice as strong in battle. “Trust Me” sends the Rangers to an island to hunt down Nighloks. Will this be a painful journey? It’s four episodes of team building and Nighlok slaying.

Counterpunch is a true story of a boxer wanting to claim the Golden Gloves in Miami. Emilio (Alvardo Orlando) finds his life inside the ring except he still lacks the focus to be great. He has to work out his demons so that he can find himself when the bell rings. Danny Trejo (Death Race 3) is the mentor character giving the proper advice so the kid doesn’t get completely knocked out. Steven Bauer (Scarface) also provides inspiration although not in the same way. Emilio’s struggle is good and gritty. I like that they didn’t try to make this story too big. There’s an immediacy to the ring being in a tight space with a small crowd rooting on the action. It’s good underdog boxing tale that doesn’t throw in the towel.

Compliance is a great hideous tale of what can truly go wrong while working a McJob. Off the bat, director Craig Zobel and I were classmate at the North Carolina School of the Arts. Those who follow the column will realize I’m not a homer for all my classmates’ movies or their performances. Compliance is one of those rare classmate films that make me proud. It explores the phenomena of strangers calling fast food places claiming to be cops and getting store managers to violate their employees. In the movie it’s Ann Dowd (Marley & Me) in a career making performance as the manager of a chicken joint that’s having a rough night. She’s under pressure after a cooler has been left open and the bacon went bad. There’s rumors that corporate will have a secret customer visiting. Then she gets a phone call from a cop investigating an employee stealing money from a customer. The suspect is the sweet Dreama Walker (Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23). The cop doesn’t want to come down without proof and he instructs Dowd to strip down the girl to cavity search her. Will Dowd follow a mysterious voice? The film creates just the right crucible heat to justify the complete loss of logic while Walker is secured in the backroom. This is a workplace horror story worthy of scaring anyone from feeling secure in the world of fast food. High school counselors should use this DVD as a scared straight program for slacker students. What are the odds that your boss won’t follow orders to be a good corporate player? Zobel has stepped up his game from Great World of Sound. We should hopefully have an interview with him in the next Party Favors column. Get the DVD so you won’t feel like we spoiled the film in our conversation.

BETHLEHAM – Forget the War on Christmas. This time of the season another person is attacked for no good reason. He doesn’t get ripped by atheists wanting to stop the holiday. He’s given the ultimate guilt trip from the pulpits and the pews across the world. Who Is he? Why the Innkeeper of Bethlehem.

Right now there are hundreds if not thousands of ministers, priests and Holy Roller relatives working out their Christmas sermon that makes the Innkeeper a huge part of the Nativity story. There’s plays based off the concept of a regretful Innkeeper who didn’t have room for Joseph and his pregnant wife Mary. They claim he supposedly sent them off to a stable so she could put her newborn child into a manager instead of a Serta Perfect Sleeper. How about this holiday season people quit villainizing the guy?

Is it the Innkeeper’s fault that he had no vacancy at the Inn? Our modern perspective gives us the impression that Bethlehem’s hotel situation is comparable to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania’s guest accommodations. As if Joseph and Mary were hitting the desk bell at the Residence Inn near the Lehigh Valley Airport. The Inns of BC/AD time were not lavish affairs with hundreds of rooms and twenty stories high. Steve Wynn wouldn’t slap his name on one. They were small and didn’t even offer HBO. A few might have had Starz. They didn’t offer private baths. According to some descriptions, they were pretty much flop houses with everyone packed into one or two rooms. So it wouldn’t take too many people to fill up these little dumpy places. It’s just a shame Mary and Joseph didn’t use the Roaming Gnome to get an advance reservation. Which brings us to another thought: How come Mary and Joseph’s relatives didn’t book them into an Inn sooner? They did have relatives in the area since that was the whole reason they came to town. Why didn’t their relatives offer them a spare room for their census induced stay since they must have known the place was over run like Super Bowl weekend? Why isn’t there a homily of the ungrateful relatives? What was their pack of excuses that gets them off the hook while the Innkeeper hitting the “No Vacancy” sign gets berated? “Your uncle Harvey has a bit of a snore that might keep you up all night. Why not try the Inn? They might have a cancellation?”

Another thing that never gets explored in sermons is the concept of a woman giving birth at the Inn. When is the last time you checked into a hotel and asked for a room next to a woman delivering a baby? A majority of people don’t even want to be on the same floor as the ice machine. Having been in a delivery room, I can assure you that nobody in their right mind wants to try to sleep through a woman screaming during contractions. Since everybody slumbered in the same room or two, odds are high that the other guests would be upset at the noise. Beyond the noise, think of the mess. Those rooms were rather scummy already. The bed would probably be a lost cause when her water breaks. Most Inns at 4 B.C. didn’t have a maid pushing her cart each morning to sanitize things for your protection. After the birth, that room was going to be as messy as a stable. It’d be trashed worse than Andy Dick, Keith Richards and Keith Moon sharing a lost holiday weekend. So it wasn’t much of a downgrade to be turned away from the Inn and sent to the manager. At least they could blame the delivery mess on the donkeys and sheep when the Three Wisemen dropped by.

Speaking of delivery; why aren’t there ministers ranting about the complete absence of a doctor or a nurse mid-wife? Why no tale of the doctor who was too busy watching a Bowl game to show up at the manger to deliver Jesus? Or the mid-wife that had to finish her Christmas shopping? Why does the medical profession get a free ride when they obviously blew off the most important birth not involving Angelina Jolie?

The Innkeeper is not the bad guy in the Nativity Tale by any stretch of the imagination. He deserves no blame or guilt trip. But odds are high he’ll be getting another massive dose of it this Christmas season. So I say to you plucky readers that if the minister starts giving the “Innkeeper Narrative,” feel free to shout out, “William Shatner says if they had only used Priceline, Jesus would have been born in a 4 star room at a manager price! Guaranteed!” You’ll be a hero to hotel and motel managers across the globe.

Make sure someone videotapes you doing it so you can get plenty of youtube holiday love.

AFU

Once more AFI proves they have zero taste with their blue ribbon panel that selects the 10 best movies and 10 best TV shows. Their TV show selection mimicked every other fauxTV critic. They played it safe by leaving off Portlandia and going with the safe comedy of Modern Family. Where was the daring picks of shows you’ll be buying on Blu-ray 10 years from now? How can they leave off Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy? How did a show that was an art project get backing on Channel 4? AFI completely neglected the greatest show on cable: Dave’s Old Porn. The Showtime Series revives the self-esteem of Dave Attell (Insomniac). The show is brilliantly minimal as Dave and guests sit on a big sofa while adult films from the ’70s and ’80s run behind them. While first part is Dave and a fellow comic gasping at the hairy days of 16mm adult action, he brings out a legend of porn to discuss the scenes, their careers and what they’re doing after the taping. It’s like a pants-optional Inside the Actor’s Studio. The second season has brought out Ginger Lynn, Vanessa Del Rio, Tom Byron, Robert Kerman (Debbie Does Dallas), Herschel Savage and Ron Jeremy. He reminds people of those glory days of backrooms at mom and pop videostores. Those dreamy spaces had a warning sign and a bead curtain to make you feel adult when you stepped inside to pick through the boxes on the wall. Why won’t AFI pay tribute to this entertaining nostalgic trip that penetrates and sometimes double penetrates a misspent youth? How many AFI graduates worked in porn to pay the bills as grips, best boys, cameramen, writers and directors? Dave Attell is truly giving a cinematic history lesson which is more than can be said about the American Film Institute. Dave’s Old Porn is on Showtime’s On Demand for those who want to remember that time they stashed VHS tapes deep in their collection with stickers reading “Joe Besser’s Greatest Hits” to keep anyone from discovering what they were.

FESTIVUS GIFT?

What should you send to people who can’t make your Festivus Dinner to let them know how they disappointed you? Here’s a suggestion:

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QUICK GIFTS

The coolest thing you can give a friend this year as a last minute grab gift is Judas Priest’s Screaming for Vengeance: Special 30th Edition which includes the original record and bonus tracks. More importantly is the complete video of their hour long set at the US Festival on Metal Day. This is the Priest at their peak. Even in the middle of the day with the sun shining brightly, the leather clad rockers ruled the day. This was back when Rob Halford’s hair was in full glory. All their major hits are featured in their 12 song set including “Breaking the Law,” “You Have Another Things Coming” and “Hell Bent for Leather.” Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing’s twin guitar attack fuels the crowd. This is the ultimate Priest performance.

TV shows that lasted a season or less are great to give when you need to payback an unexpected present. Honey West: The Complete Series was Anne Francis’ big series. She’s a sexy private investigator working the angles in a black and white world. Planet of the Apes: The Complete TV Series came out after the end of the movie series. Strange to think the show ended shortly after my cousins got their action figures for Christmas of 1974. Square Pegs: The Complete Series was high school life in the early ’80s> Sarah Jessica Parker is desperate to be cool. Devo shows up for an episode along with Bill Murray. I found a copy for $8 at a Food Lion. Max Headroom: The Complete Series was just too far in the future for an ’80s audience eager for Dallas. Tales of the Gold Monkey: The Complete Series was a Pacific trip with pre-World War II action and mystery.

BLU-RAY

Dick Tracy can finally be fully appreciated at home with a 1080p transfer on a Blu-ray. This film is all about Richard Sylbert’s production design, Vittorio Storaro’s cinematography and the makeup department’s grotesque masks. They bring Chester Gould’s drawn characters into world of live action. . The colors truly pop on the screen like the Sunday funny pages when they mattered. After 23 years of catching parts of the movie on VHS and DVD, seeing it on Blu-ray really improves the film. Dick Tracy (Warren Beatty) is doing his best to keep down the underworld. Big Boy Caprice (Al Pacino) has decided to make a major power grab. This includes taking over a nightclub with Breathless Mahoney (Madonna) as the featured performer. Can Tracy keep Big Boy from being the real boss of the city? The compared to a majority of comic book movies, Dick Tracy has risen to the top in 22 years. There’s a rogues gallery of stars under major make up including Dustin Hoffman, James Caan, Dick Van Dyke, Henry Silva, Mandy Patinkin and Michael J. Pollard. Madonna is perfect for playing the sex kitten singer who just wants to hook up with Dick. This has some of her better cinema hairdos along with a wardrobe that plays up her assets. It all looked and felt good on the HDTV screen. The one disappointing thing about the Blu-ray is a complete lack of bonus features. This is definitely a movie that improves with a higher resolution. They include a digital copy so you can watch it on your tablet.

DVD SHELF

Hazel: The Complete Fourth Season is the penultimate season, but the finale for aspects of the series. At the end of the year the show would move from NBC to CBS. That move meant a bit of a budget slash which led to Don DeFore and Whitney Blake being let go from the cast. So here are the final 26 episodes as them being Mr. and Mrs. B, the employers of Hazel (Shirley Booth). After these episodes, Hazel would never be their maid. “Never Trouble Trouble” makes the Baxters victims of a burglary. Sadly the main suspect is a relative. Was it an inside job? Harold Gould (Rhoda), the Dean of Thespians is part of the investigation. “Luncheon with the Governor” turns ugly when protesters arrive at the house. “Marriage Trap” sets Hazel out to reunite George’s secretary with her ex-boyfriend. Ken Berry (F Troop) can’t escape Hazel’s match making scheme. “Flagpole” puts a 30 ft. flagpole in the front yard. Mr. B think Hazel went overboard. Frank Cady (Green Acres) is part of the patriotic struggle. “Champagne Tony” has her lose ’64 British Open champ Tony Lema’s clubs. Lema would lose his life in a plane wreck in ’66. “George’s Man Friday” proposes marriage to Hazel. Can she really get hitched and leave the Baxters? How will they survive? Harold Gould returns for this episode. “The Investor” makes Hazel buy 25% of a baker run by John Banner (Sgt. Schlutz on Hogan’s Heroes). Things get to be too much for Hazel when she has to keep the Baxters and Banner happy. Will she resort to sniffing flour to get the extra energy? It’s sad thinking that DeFore and Blake had no idea that they coming to the end of the show. DeFore claims he found out the fate of Mr. Baxter by reading it in the paper.

Ultraseven: The Complete Series is a bit of a shock for those who grew up in the ’70s watching Ultraman and had no idea that there was more Ultra adventures in Japan. Why were we denied this follow up series on after school TV? This could have saved a lot of kids from having to go outside for 30 minutes a day to be attacked by squirrels. Ultraseven has a different tone from Ultraman. The Ultra Guard is a bit more serious in their job of defending the world. It feels like the original Godzilla or Gamera. It’s not too serious since the endings involve Ultraseven (the alien that comes to help protect Earth after Ultraman departed) wrestling a rubber suit monster on a miniature exterior set. Unlike the previous Ultraman, Ultraseven isn’t an alien-human hybrid. He’s all alien who has the ability to take a human form. He joins the six members of the Ultra Guard thus becoming known as Ultraseven. They have lot of cool high tech toys in their battles against monsters from outer space and those created by science experiments gone wrong. The show lasted for 49 episodes although one of the original broadcast episodes is missing from the boxset. Shout! Factory explains why in the booklet. “From Another Planet With Love” dealt with radiation mutations which Japanese viewers are still uncomfortable with seeing. Thus the show was pulled after its first airing and never shown in Japan. There had been moments it ran outside Japan, but those were rare exceptions. The Japanese studio that controls Ultraseven refused to provide the video master for that episode. Don’t get too anal cause the 48 episodes are well worth buying the boxset. What’s more important that the show’s attitude makes it fine to watch all these decades later. It’ll make you feel thirty years younger.

Gunsmoke: The Seventh Season, Volume 1 marks the start of the Western expanding to the hour long length. This season’s episodes however are still rather rare viewing since they’re in black and white. Even though Gunsmoke currently runs on TVLand and ME-TV, the channels prefer to run the color episodes. Enjoy the old west without all those distracting hues. “Perce” launches the new format with the tale of an ex-con (The Silent Force‘s Ed Nelson) who saves Marshal Matt Dillon (James Arness) during a shootout. His new found hero status works against him when a saloon girl wants him to return to his old outlaw ways. Can he resist her tempting charms? “Old Yellow Boots” has an engagement timed with the death of soon-to-be bride’s brother. Harry Dean Stanton (Big Love) gets to act greasy. “Miss Kitty” spreads the rumor that she’s got a son. Could Miss Kitty (Amanda Blake) really hide him? Amongst the curious is Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.). “All That” makes Buddy Ebsen (Beverly Hillbillies) very popular when he arrives in Dodge City after a gold strike. Can he handle being popular? “Chesterland” makes Matt’s assistant Chester (McCloud‘s Dennis Weaver) a marrying man. He has to retire to the force to focus on his wife. “Apprentice Doc” allows Doc (Milburn Stone) a chance to rehabilitate an outlaw who has a knack for medicine. As if medical bills aren’t a form of highway robbery. “Marry Me” gets Miss Kitty hitched – whether she wants it or not. Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) is part of her involuntary elopement. “A Man A Day” puts Matt in a nasty situation when bank robbers want him out of town. Leonard Nimoy (Star Trek‘s Spock) gets to cause a little trouble. “The Do-Badder” doubles up The Wild Bunch connection with both Strother Martin and Warren Oates on the screen. The hour long version of the show does allow the series to breathe a bit during scenes. The boxset has 17 episodes spread over 5 DVDs. The bonus features are the original previews for some episodes and sponsor plugs for L&M Cigarettes and Remington electric razors.

HOUSE OF LIE$: The First Season explores the world of management consultants. You know those suits that show up to tell you how to do it right? These are the snakeoil salesmen that you want to sucker punch in the elevator. Don Cheadle (Boogie Nights) runs an elite unit that knows how to get major companies to pay top dollar for their relatively worthless services. Don’s not afraid to expose his tricks to making captains of industry turn into a pack of Gilligans. His crew known as the Pod consists of the Nerd (Josh Lawson), the Geek (Ben Schwartz) and Sizzle (Veronica Mars‘s Kirsten Bell). Griffin Dunne (After Hours) returns to acting as an utter bastard out to make Don’s life a living hell. He ends up buying Don’s company. The show has great freeze moments when Don breaks down the elements of a deal. He sums up the fools in the room and how he’ll use his mad skills to bust them up like Bruce Lee. The most morbid humor comes in the final episode when Don demonstrates at the office Christmas party what the work force will look like after a major layoff. The series forms a perfect power block with Shameless and Californication on Showtime. The new season starts January 13 so you might want to binge view House of Lie$ on Christmas morning. The 12 episodes are on 2 DVDs along with bonus interviews with Don and Kirsten.

Californication: The Fifth Season drags Hank (X-Files‘ David Duchovny) back to Cali. What could yank him from his beloved Manhattan? How about a chance to become part of the Wu Tang universe? Samurai Apocalypse (Wu’s RZA) dreams of making Santa Monica Cop – it’s not like Beverly Hills Cop. He needs the Magic of Moody to craft his box office stardom. This isn’t a simple writing gig since Hank makes the mistake of falling hard for Kali (Meagan Good). She’s Samurai’s protégé and off limits lady. Hank’s fixing for a major beating for such an offense. Also in the confusion is Hank meeting the new Hank in the form of his daughter’s new boyfriend Tyler (Scott Michael Foster). He’s written a script about banging Hank’s daughter that’s so hot that Hank’s agent Charlie Runkle (Evan Handler) will do anything to sign the kid – even if it means screwing over Hank. Tyler’s an utter bastard and abuses everyone on his power trip. He thinks he’s really a director. Foster holds his own with Duhovny on the small screen. The person who gets the biggest bump from this season is Stephen Tobolowsky with his new stud persona as he may have banged the nanny (Camilla Luddington). Overall it’s another fun season on the carnal coast. Duchovny does his Red Shoes Diaries legacy proud.

Quincy, M.E.: Season 4 brings us more excitement from America’s first popular medical examiner, Dr. R. Quincy (The Odd Couple‘s Jack Klugman). Long before CSI, NCIS and Body of Evidence the medical examiner was merely a quickie character on crime dramas. Quincy showed that the people that detect what killed the deceased weren’t minor characters in service to lead cops. They could solve a homicide using science and not merely gut instinct like a police detective. Quincy did use his gut to know where to focus the science. By season four, Quincy had lost his educated Archie Bunker attitude. The writers toned down the racial jokes aimed at his assistant Sam (Robert Ito). He had become a legend in forensics at this point in his career even though he answered to the skeptical Dr. Robert Asten (John S. Ragin). Besides the ladies, Quincy likes to hang at the restaurant run by Danny Tovo (Saturday Night Fever‘s Val Bisoglio). “Speed Trap” sets a race car driver on fire. Quincy smells foul play in the wreckage. One of the suspects if Simon Oakland (Kolchak: The Night Stalker). “Death By Good Intentions” puts a dead body in the hospital. It’s up to Quincy to prove that the doctor didn’t do anything wrong else all gets blamed on affirmative action. Pernell Roberts (Bonanza) is on staff. “Images” looks like Jessica Walter (Arrested Development), a famous reporter, has burned to death in a dumpy hotel. But she turns out alive after Quincy declares her dead. He’s upset at being burned on case and refuses to admit he’s got the wrong victim. “Even Odds” makes Quincy a client of the morgue. He’s investigating a crime scene when a gun goes off and nails him. Sam and company have to solve the case while he fights for his life. Fred Ward (Henry & June) has a bit part. “No Way to Treat A Body” moves Quincy’s girlfriend into an old house. Along with a stripper roommate, it turns out there’s dead people in the walls. Quincy has to solve the case. Ed Begley Jr. warms up for his time on St. Elsewhere. “A Night to Raise the Dead” has a coffin landslide at a cemetery. Among the old dead is a fresh body that might have died of typhoid. Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) digs through the dead. “House of No Return” disguises Quincy as a dead private eye to find the killer. Joseph Ruskin continues his streak of suspects. “A Small Circle of Friend” turns up VD on a DOA football player. Quincy and Sam have to find who the gridiron star might have infected. Raymond St. Jacques (Cotton Comes to Harlem) and Jo Ann Pflug (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In) better get themselves checked. “Walk Softly Through the Night” is a two-parter about a doctor giving out bogus prescriptions to junkies. Quincy wants to shut the guy down. Over three decades later, this is still an issue. “Dark Angel” busts Neville Brand (The Untouchables) as a cop who killed a suspect. He claims the kid was strung out on PCP. Can Quincy prove his pal innocent? “Physician, Heal Thyself” finds a woman dead after an abortion. Quincy believes the doctor was drunk in the operating room. June Lockhart (Lost in Space) is the Chief of Medicine clashing with Quincy. Anne Francis (Honey West) is also part of the cast. It’s good to see that Shout! Factory has gotten Quincy back on the release track like they recently did with Kojak. There’s four more seasons to go. Season 5 is slated for released March 19. Being denied episodes of Quincy is tantamount to murder!

Arbitrage is a burning thriller that’s perfect for a cold winter night. Richard Gere appears to have it all going right. He runs a massive hedgefund. He’s married to Susan Sarandon, who is still alluring as she nears 70. His daughter, Brit Marling is working in the family business. What could go wrong? Plenty as both his business and home life is about to fall into the abyss. He’s doing plenty of illegal things in the hopes of selling his company to an unsuspecting sucker. He’s also working a girlfriend on the side. Gere looks good hustling at the office and home to make things appear normal no matter the harsh truth behind the door. Tim Roth arrives to up the tension as a police detective. This doesn’t get too business heavy since there’s plenty of family drama to keep it from devolving into a visit with an accountant. It’s almost like seeing Gere’s Pretty Woman character if he hadn’t learned his lesson the first time around. What’s extra exciting about the film is a chance to see Stuart Margolin in action. He’s Angel on The Rockford Files. There’s also Chris Eigeman from Metropolitan and Last Days of Disco. Gere just got nominated for a Golden Globe for his acting.

Cagney & Lacey: The Complete Series – 30th Anniversary packs all seven seasons including the pilot and early episodes that had different Cagneys. Loretta Swit (M*A*S*H*) played her in the pilot. Meg Foster took over the role for the short first season. Tyne Daly was always Lacey. Sharon Gless showed up to be the third Cagney and stuck for the next six seasons and a few reunion movies. Now after a few sporadic release, you can get all the 125 episodes and extras in a boxset. This is a perfectly fine huge gift for mom and dad.

Pitch Perfect is out on DVD and Blu-ray. I’m still trying to figure out Rebel Wilson and if she’s younger than Owen and Luke.

Will Vinton’s The Adventures of Mark Twain: Collector’s Edition brings the writing legend into the world of Claymation. Will Vinton’s Claymation creations are legendary including the California Raisins, the Noid and Michael Jackon. Far as I can tell, this is Vinton’s only true feature film. He’d contributed to a few and had put together a film featuring his best short work. But this was his chance to pinch and roll his creations into 86 minutes. This was part of the films about Halley’s comet that came out in the mid-80s (Lifeforce was another) before it crossed the night sky once more. Writer Mark Twain was born when Halleys came in 1835. The comet is returning in 1910 and Twain wishes to greet it. James Whitmore (The Shawshank Redemption voices Mark Twain. He loads up Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher into a steampunk-esque airship so they can soar into outer space. Their journey has them bounce across a few of Twain’s best loved stories including “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.” Vinton does a spectacular job squeezing the action and art together on the screen. It’s a fun family film even with the knowledge of what will happen to Twain when he meets the comet. The Collector’s Edition includes a commentary track from Vinton that’s essential listening for anyone interested in making their own clay figures. There’s even a short about Claymation. There’s plenty of behind the scenes glimpses and chats with other members of the crew. This is an inspiration DVD and Blu-ray for any kid addicted to Playdoh.

SOUTH BEACH – My guilty cinema pleasure this year was the bombastic trailer for Step Up Revolution. The latest installment of the dancing theatrical heats up the screen with 3-D dance showcases in Miami.

Sean (Ryan Guzman) is part of a dance crew that puts on huge productions around the city to get their name out via Youtube. His day job is waiting at a resort hotel owned by Mr. Anderson (American Beauty‘s Peter Gallagher). Sean hooks up with the boss’ dancing daughter (Kathryn McCormick). She becomes his new dance partner. Little does he know his dance must make a stand when her dad wants to destroy Sean’s neighborhood with his mega-resort plans. What really are plenty of massive dance scenes that jump off the screen thanks to 3-D. The fourth installment in the series proved to be as colorful and kinetic as promised by the trailer. Now Step Up Revolution is out on 3-D Blu-ray to step into your living room.

The Party Favors had a chance to interview star Ryan Guzman and we leapt forward. This was his first major acting role. While many of the other performers were part of So You Think You Can Dance including co-star Kathryn McCormick, Guzman’s movement background has been in Mixed Martial Arts.

When Wallace Shawn had spoken about working with Andre the Giant on The Princess Bride, he marveled at how the wrestling legend never missed his camera marks. Did Ryan’s MMA experience help when it came to hitting marks as well as dancing positions?

“You are very in tune with your body and very aware without having to be aware and focus on it,” Ryan said. “You know where to go and how to get there. I definitely credit my martial arts background to successfully coexisting with the theatrical world and the dance world. They brought me to the water and I had to drink from it. It was definitely a learning experience though.

“The first week I get into the dance studio and there’s 20 plus professional dancers that have been doing it since they were three years old. And here’s me, new actor, new dancer. Never danced in my life,” Ryan confessed. “They’re expecting me to pick up all the choreography they’ve let down and match their skill on top of that. I was intimidated like no other the first week.”

If you believe Showgirls, Ryan was an easy target for dancers eager to jump to the top of the call sheet. Did anyone aim a handful of loose beads aimed at his feet?

“The best thing about being a part of the Step Up franchise is the dancers in it are so open and inviting. They became my family,” Ryan said. “They taught me without knowing they’re teaching me. We had a lot of freestyle sessions with tWitch (Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss) and (Marc) Marvelous. These are huge names in the dance industry. I soaked up as much as I could. A big credit goes to the choreographers who worked with me so diligently and helped me out. They’d know they give the choreography to me and that day I wouldn’t get it. It’d soak in my mind. The next day I’d come back and it’d be in my body. I’d get it. Things went smoothly.”

However not everything went smoothly. He admitted to one routine getting the better of him.
“There’s a scene in the art museum there’s a room where there’s a bunch of people dancing. It was supposed to be lit up really well so you could see all of us with lights bouncing off our bodies. The choreography in that section was some of the hardest choreography I’ve ever been a part of. For some reason I could not get it down,” Ryan confessed. “I would get pieces of it down, but never the full thing. It kept on getting really frustrating. I’m really competitive. If you ask any of the castmates, Kathryn or the director, they know that I hate losing at anything. That was one I could not get down. It was so frustrating. I actually cracked a little bit. Luckily I had Kathryn, (director Scott Speer) and all the producers, dancers and choreographers to lean on. They said don’t worry about it. It’ll all work out in the end. And it did.”

The good part about dancing in a movie is that they construct the routine in editing using different takes. Ryan’s thankful on that day, he wasn’t hoofing on the big stage.

“Broadway, I don’t think you can cut things out. You’re right there in front of them,” Ryan said. “Luckily in film and features, if it’s detrimental to the film, it’s not going to be shown. I definitely found out that I can trust my director and the producers so much. They had the best interests out there for me.”

While Ryan was used to spending long days working out, how was the aching different from his dance routines versus his mixed marital arts gym time?

“Everything from the butt down was really, really sore,” Ryan said. “I’ve never been that sore outside of fighting in my life. You’re just using muscles that you’re not used to using. Dancing is a lot more control with each muscle. In fighting, you’re very explosive. You’re out there for seconds, but you come right back. Dancing is full out all the time. I definitely noticed my butt was getting bigger and my legs were getting bigger. My back and arms were getting a lot more tone because of lifting Katherine all over the place.”

Things didn’t get any easier for Ryan when the dancers stepped outside the dance studio and hit the location. They didn’t schedule Step Up Revolution for the Miami Mild time.

“That was summer,” Ryan said. “That was dead heat. When we were filming it was sometimes 112 degrees with high humidity. When I say we lost weight really, really quick…we lost weight really, really quick. I lost 10 pounds within the first week of going out there and dancing. My body wasn’t used to heat and how much it was sweating and burning energy.”

Even with this Bikram effect, the production wasn’t out to make their cast be shown as 21st century Sweathogs.

“Everybody on set was very aware of how much we were dancing and what we were wearing,” Ryan confided. “They kept us hydrated. Lot of umbrellas and lots of fans trying to cool us off the best they can. But you can only do so much in Miami heat. They had a stack of shirts for us to change in and out of during certain parts of the scenes. You’d turn your back and there’s a huge sweat stain. We were sweating non-stop. I don’t think there was a point or time in that movie where we weren’t sweating. Whether you see it or not, we were sweating.”

Because the film was based around the large dance numbers, I was curious if the producers had nailed down the music for those scenes in advance or were the dancers moving to temp tracks.

“It was a temp track,” Ryan said. “We had a couple beats that were pre-approved, but in the end you really don’t know if it was going to be the end track that’s going to be on the soundtrack. I’m really happy with the end result. Most of it stayed true to what we danced to.”

Was he excited when he saw the film since he could discover the final soundtrack choices and how the dancers were composed by the editor?

“I really don’t know if I was to be honest,” Ryan admitted. “The first time we saw a screening, it was just the top three of the cast on the call sheet, the producers and the director. I was really, really nervous. I don’t like seeing myself on the big screen. I think it’s uncomfortable for anybody and everybody to see themselves and hear themselves on the big screen. It’s a weird feeling. There was a lot of cringing for me when I first saw it. After I saw it a couple more times, I ended up learning an appreciation for what I had done and partaken in. I feel blessed.”

Adding to the fear of seeing yourself on the big screen, it must be uncomfortable to see the giant you leaping from the screen. When Ryan was cast, did he know that his debut would have that extra dimension?

“It was always conceived to be in 3-D,” Ryan said. “We had the 3-D camera always out. It was interesting to shoot with a 3-D camera because they’re a lot bigger. When you’re doing intimate scenes such as the boat scene, we have a 15 inch screen in front of your face is a little intimidating to go there. It’s something you have to do.”

Did the 3-D camera make them alter their dance moves to make limbs sweep over the audience?
“There was never certain points where they were like, ‘Well make this the 3-D moment.’ They just took moments out of what we did and made them 3-D. We played to the camera a lot. Whether it be in the finale where we’re all coming out and I’m sticking the little pole in my hand toward the camera, we knew that one was probably going to be 3-D. You get a feel of what’s in their concept of 3-D, but you never know what’s going to happen in the end.”

Have Ryan’s parents bought a 3-D HDTV so they can enjoy their son’s big moment on the 3-D Blu-ray of Step Up: Revolution? Quick spoiler alert to Ryan’s parents: You might want to skip to the interview after the video clip in order to keep a surprise in your holidays.

“If they haven’t, I know what they’ll be getting for Christmas,” Ryan said.

Adding to the pressure of learning how to dance, Ryan also had to hone his acting skills to be able to be convincing as the lead actor. Where did he find the time to tackle such a large learning curve?
“That was definitely a crazy thing to find a balance between how much do I put into the acting and how much into the dancing,” Ryan said. “Both have got to be held up to a certain standard. I did my best and I hope everyone likes it.”

What major lesson did Ryan learn from his time with Peter Gallagher?

“Stop bringing up his eyebrows. He cares about his eyebrows way too much,” Ryan joked. His tone got serious as he continued, “What I took from him the most is how he treats people on the set. He’s kind of a leader. As soon as he gets on set, everybody greets him and he greets them whether they be a grip or an assistant. I think that’s very cool for somebody so accomplished to be so humble. It brings a great working environment to the set. ”

Was Gallagher aching to a have a dance off with Ryan in the movie?

“We tried to convince him to stay a little while and dance with all of us,” Ryan said. “But he was in the process of doing his show in Canada. He had to fly in and out. But don’t let that guy fool you. He’s got dancing in him. The art is in him. I would have loved it if he’d joined with us.”

Ryan’s been a busy actor since wrapped up Step Up: Revolution. He’s had a full dance card when it came to movie roles.

“I filmed a movie a couple months ago and I’m heading up to New Orleans to film another movie,” said Ryan. “Right now I’m in talks to do another studio film in the summer. It’s been good. I can’t complain.”

Has he met Luis Guzman star of Boogie Nights since they have the same last name?

“I have not,” he admitted. “But I’ve gotten the comparison about a billion times. ‘Are you relatives? Is he your uncle or is he your dad? What’s going on there?’ I don’t know how we get that since we look nothing alike. I’m so glad that he’s keeping that last name alive.”

We joke that someday he and Luis can team up for a buddy cop film. Right now he has a bigger worry. When he goes out to a nightclub, he knows all eyes are on him when the music starts pumping. Does he fear that every viewer of So You Think You Can Dance wants to serve him on the dancefloor?
“I was in the beginning,” he said. “I heard all these horror stories about Channing Tatum (star of the original Step Up) coming back and everybody trying to battle him. He’d get called out all the time when he’d go out to a club. When I came back, people found out who I was and what I’d been a part of, they’d definitely try to get me on the dance floor as much as they possibly could. I fought it for a while even though I love it. I fought it for a while cause I felt like I was performing for people and rather than dancing. But I’ve learned to accept it now. I know they’re going to ask so I might as well just do it and have fun with it.”

Is this situation better than when clubgoers found out he fought Mixed Martial Arts and wanted to take a few shots at him?

“You know what, I wouldn’t mind that,” Ryan said. “But they’d have to sign a disclaimer so if I did knock them out, they wouldn’t sue me.”

This is what separates Ryan Guzman from Lindsay Lohan. Is he interested in a match if they revive Celebrity Boxing?

“I don’t know about boxing,” he said. “Boxing was never really my thing. I am for sure going to end up in the Octagon again. Whether it be the next couple years or later down the road. I just miss fighting so much. I’ve got to do it a couple more times before my time is over.”

NOW A SELF-SERVING PLUG

PARTY FAVORS OSCAR SCORE!

Readers of the column will remember earlier this spring we challenged Michael Moore to seek a lifetime achievement Oscar for D.A. Pennebaker during our coverage of the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham. Guess what happened? D.A. Pennebaker is now an Oscar honored documentary filmmaker. Our Oscar lucks has happened once more. We helped get the ball rolling for cinematographer Gordon Willis (The Godfather and Manhattan). We’re pretty much 2 for 2 although we slightly advocated for Christopher Lee get his own night. Trouble with Lee is way too many bad movies. Harvey Weinstein wishes he could pull off an Oscar campaign with zero dollars. Who should be the next passenger on the Party Favors mojo train? Hard to tell which worthy filmmaker needs a good meal and a statue on the mantle. Perhaps I should offer my services? Just a damn shame this mojo doesn’t work with Rock N Roll Hall of Fame else Damone would be inducting Cheap Trick.

Here’s the Party Favors interview with D.A. Pennebaker and his partner in life and cinema Chris Hegedus from Full Frame. I do hope D.A. Pennebaker remembers back to April when I told him I was working on getting him a lifetime Oscar. Sometimes Tinseltown dreams start in the Bull City.

CHRISTMAS LIST

Is it already time to think of last minute and slightly inexpensive gifts to give for Christmas? Well the regular gifts we recommend are still putting out new installments. First there’s The Complete Peanuts 1983-1986 Gift Box Set. This book series slated to release every strip that ran in your newspaper when Charles Schulz ruled the funny pages in the newspaper. It’s interesting to watch Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy and Woodstock grow up even if they never got any older in the panels. Looney Tunes Plantinum Collection, Volume Two – Blu-ray is another batch of Bugs, Daffy, Porky and more in 1080p. There’s even standard definition Tex Avery cartoons from his MGM time. Where’s the Hi-Def love for Tex’s wolves?

Documentaries are a great gift to give for people who need a little truth around the holidays. Planeat questions the modern diet. Are we really supposed to be eating much processed by-products? The movie makes a case for cutting back on meat and increasing whole grains. What makes the docu good is two major authorities with real credentials. Dr. T Colin Campbell took part in a major study of diet and cancers in China. Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn has seen the benefits of vegetarian diets on patients with major heart issues. The two men helped convince President Bill Clinton to put down the Big Macs and eat Kale. What helps make the concept more palatable is visits to vegetarian restaurants to show the creativity of chefs who think outside the butcher shop. The mixing of cooked Kale and humus in a sandwich does taste good. This is a good follow up viewing to Food Inc.

Tapped is very frightening look into world of bottled water. It starts off with how Nestles drains the water supply in Maine towns under its Poland Springs banners. The Swiss giant is not a swell neighbor as they mine the springs without really giving that much back to the communities. But why should they be nice since they, Coke and Pepsi are making billions with their bottled water business? Things just get more frightening. The film hit close to my home with coverage of how Pepsi kept taking hundreds of thousands of gallon out of my area’s water supply while the rest of us were under orders to conserve during a draught. Where did that water go? Inside little plastic Aquafina bottles to be shipped out of the state. Basically they’re charging you a buck for water that would cost you barely a penny from your sink. The doc touches upon studies that the plastic bottles break down after time. Even if you don’t think you’re drinking plastic based chemicals in your filtered tap water, think about how the plastic bottles are a major litter source. The film states at least 30 million bottles are trashed and not recycled each day. You might consider just getting a filter for your home drinking water instead of stocking up on little plastic bottles. The film is part of the Clinton Global initiative.

2012 Science Or Superstition should be given out before Christmas just in case Mayan Doomsday hits on Dec. 21. The documentary explores why people think the world is going to change on that day. Will it be major cataclysm or just a minor renewal event to “flip” the Mayan calender? Should you just blow out your credit card for “Christmas Presents” knowing the bill won’t be coming to your lava encrusted mailbox. There are plenty of experts discussing their theories of what the end of the Mayan calendar really means. There’s an entertaining mix of science and mythology to explain the impending date. This is the perfect thing to play early on during your Mayan Doomsday end of the world party.

Saturday morning weirdness from the ’70s was in full force this year with a trilogy of my favorite odd live action shows getting complete releases. Big John Little John: The Complete Series was about a high school science teacher (Herb Edelman) who drinks from the fountain of youth down during a Florida vacation. This causes him to turn into Cousin Oliver (Robbie Rist) from The Brady Bunch. The show was made by Sherwood Schwartz, the man behind The Brady Bunch and Gilligan’s Island. The show is still goofy. Korg: 70,000 B.C. follows a family of cavemen trying to survive in prehistoric times. The show doesn’t get weird with any aliens or time travel to the future. Just cave people doing their best to survive in the wilderness. Burgess Meredith (Batman‘s the Penguin) narrates the minimal dialogue show. Shazam! The Complete Live Action Series has all three seasons about Mentor and his pal Captain Marvel. This show is hilarious if just for how normal they want it to seem when an old guy and a young kid are cruising around in an RV talking to troubled teens. Jackie Earle Haley appears in an episode. Both Korg and Shazam! are from Warner Archive.

For folks wanting to flashback to the ’70s and ’80s, the prices have dropped on my favorite shows. All three seasons of The Bionic Woman are now knocked down in price so you can grab them for under $15 each. The Six Million Dollar Man has been dragging his bionic feet with only Season one and two of the five available in stores. You might be able to snag them for under $20. Season three is due out in February. That’s the one that has Andre the Giant as Bigfoot.

Charlie’s Angels: The Complete Series boxes up all five seasons for under $50. This is supposedly the big bonus of Universal’s COZI-TV to have these three shows in the prime hours. The other big thing is that all five seasons of Miami Vice can be found for under $10 each. If you look carefully, you can find 6 single sided disc versions of Seasons 1 & 2 instead of the original flipper discs. The box is now thicker.

Mission: Impossible: The Complete Series compiles all seven seasons of the original episodes along with the two seasons of the rival in Australia. Among the 55 DVDs in the dynamite shaped packaging is the bonus disc that includes documentaries on the show that feature interviews with Peter Graves, Barbara Bain, Martin Landau, Peter Lupus and Greg Morris. They even have various vintage promos and previews. ME-TV has been running digitally sped up episodes in the wee hours which makes Greg Morris looks like a keystone cop when he sets up the trap.
JAG: The Complete Series is 56 DVDs about the navy legal system. Along with all 10 seasons, there’s a new bonus disc with cast and crew interviews. They even throw in a coin. This is a fine big gift for your dad or uncle or anyone who wonders where NCIS came from.
The Fugitive: The Most Wanted Edition brings together all four seasons of Dr. Richard Kimble plight to clear his name. He had to find the one-armed-man that killed his wife.

Francis Ford Coppola: 5-Film Collection pretty much gathers up the Coppola flicks you’d want on Blu-ray after The Godfather set. They have both versions of Apocalypse Now and The Conversation. You also get his dream project One From the Heart. This is one of those, you broke your bank on this? The mixing of Tom Waits and Crystal Gayle on the soundtrack lets you know that this isn’t quite gonna be a movie you’ll love if you didn’t make it. Tetro left me cold. But it’s worth nabbing simply because the boxset is cheaper than buying the Blu-rays of Apocalypse Now and The Conversation.

Shout! Factory topped themselves this year with a trio of comedy releases that are must haves.

Steve Martin: The Television Stuff brings together his early TV specials from the time when he enjoyed being funny for a full hour. There’s even the HBO special that captured his early routines. The Incredible Mel Brooks: An Irresistible Collection of Unhinged Comedy is everything you ever wanted to know about Mel Brooks. This follows his first TV appearance to his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Fans of Blazing Saddles, The Producers and Young Frankenstein will be pleased. Get A Life: The Complete Series brings all insanity of Chris Elliot’s sitcom. He’s a 30 year old paperboy who has his own view of the world. Brian Doyle Murray nearly steals the show in the second season and with the Handsome Boy Modeling School. But Chris is up for the challenge. All three of these are comedy gems.

WORKOUT DISC-MANIA

The holiday season inspires people to make that New Year’s resolution to get healthy once they survive all the food of Christmas and the booze of New Year’s Eve. You can buy a new stairmaster that will be turned into a coat rack by Valentine’s Day. You can join a gym which you’ll forget to visit when your job announces you might want to consider working unpaid overtime if you don’t want to be fired by St. Patrick’s Day. So what are you going to do? Why not put the new 90″ TV set to work by picking up a few workout DVDs for your private training? Lionsgate is currently offering 9 different DVDs that you can find for under $7 each inside a display at BJs. You can also order them from various websites.

Step Up Revolution: Dance Workout lets you learn how to sweat off the pounds like Ryan Guzman. Four of the dances from the movie are broken down so that you can gyrate off the calories. You can perfect your Latin Hip-Hop Fusion. Bryan Tanaka and Micki Duran are your training hosts. Once you master these routines, you need to pack your bags and audition for So You Think You Can Dance?

Billy Blanks Jr. Dance Party Boot Camp promises to make you sweat while learning the hottest new dance moves. There’s a warm-up and cooldown included with the routine.
Prayfit 33-Day Body Toning System is Jimmy Pena’s faith based way to get flat abs, tight lower body and a strong upper body. Jimmy includes weekly devotionals to get you to stick to the program. In over a month, you should feel a change outside and inside your body.
Denise Austin: Fit in a Flash and Denise Austin: Shrink Your 5 Fat Zones give the fitness guru a chance to feel the burn. Fit In a Flash gives 7 minute routines that focus on cardio, toning and strength training. 5 Fat Zones lets her work your back, arms, belly, thighs and butt.

The Biggest Loser: Power Ab Blast and The Biggest Loser: 30-Day Power X-Train are two work outs from the hit NBC reality show. Power Ab Blast focus Bob Harpe and Dolvett Quince on your gut. They have plans for standing abs, cardio abs, all-out abs and yoga abs. They’re going to burn and chisel you. 30-Day Power X-Train is Bob and Dolvett’s cross train the cookie dough off your legs, arms and abs. They use plyometrics in their method. Jane Fonda: Prime Time AM/PM Yoga For Beginners brings the queen of video workouts for routines meant to pump you up in the morning and relax you after work. Jane still knows how to bend after all these decades. She wants to help you improve flexibility, tone up and lose a few pounds. Ballet Beautiful: Body Blast features Mary Helen Bowers, the trainer to Natalie Portman on Black Swan. You can learn how to apply ballet routines to your body without freaking out and growing feathers. The DVD has four routines that will keep you on your toes. You can achieve swan arms. There’s two butt blast sets and body blast to shape you up on point.

Blu-ray Heaven

Girls: The Complete First Season allowed creator Lena Dunham to bring her Tiny Furniture atmosphere to HBO with the help of Judd Apatow. She plays Hannah, a gal hoping to make it in the Big Apple in a world where all the best jobs don’t like to pay and the worst apartments cost a fortune. She pals around with her equally floundering girlfriends. The show plays like a reality show with more sincerity. Hannah’s big dream is that she can somehow sell a book of personal essays. She has so much faith that she wants her parents to pay for her to stay in NYC while she works on it. They think it’s a foolish idea. Peter Scolari (Bosum Buddies) is her dad. Shame she couldn’t get Tom Hanks in drag to play her mom. In an off camera twist, Dunham sold her book of personal essays to a publisher for over $3 million. Was this series a form of wish fulfillment? Dunham is a brave creator, writer and director of a show since he doesn’t mind having sex with her not-quite boyfriend on camera. Certain media figures were upset that Dunham dared to appear nude on camera without looking like a Victoria Secret’s model. But it’s almost refreshing to see someone who isn’t whining about spending months in the gym so they can bend over in a thong. Over the course of 10 episodes, Hannah and her Sister-Friends bond and butt heads over messed up circumstances. Her book of essays doesn’t appeal to a few friends who don’t want their lives exposed. She meltsdown on Richard Masur. She even smokes crack by accident. The show isn’t an outrageous comedy since sometimes it’s hard to laugh at the circumstances since they are so frustrating. This is almost Dramedy on the level of The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd , but without so many musical numbers. The bonus features include Dunham and Apatow conversing, plenty of deleted scenes, gag reels and Dunham chatting on NPR. They even include a DVD and digital copies of the season. You can take your Girls with you. The nice thing about the Blu-ray is getting to see Kim Asa’s name in 1080p.

DVD SHELF

Mannix: The Final Season brings to an end the greatest private eye in a plaid sportscoat. Mike Connors had no idea that the eighth season would be its last. The ratings had gone up and CBS was eager to renew, but Paramount pulled the plug to bring in the syndication cash. Thus we have the final 24 episodes that don’t hint the end is near for Joe. Mannix continues to be a good private badass with his only real help being assistant Peggy Fair (Gail Fisher). “Portrait in Blues” nearly kills half of an acoustic rock duo. Seems there’s a lot of music business people out to break them up including Larry Storch (F Troop) as a groovy DJ. “The Green Man” doesn’t involve Martians. Mannix must locate a missing person who is also being tracked by the FBI and Secret Service for counterfeiting. There’s real star power with guests Scatman Crothers (The Shining) and Russell Johnson (Gilligan’s Island). “Enter Tami Okada” starts an international incident when Okada (Mako) is a Japanese P.I. that needs Mannix’s help to track down a courier. “A Word Called Courage” tortures Mannix. Who is his persecutor? Why Anthony Zerbe pissed off that Mannix testified against him in a court martial. “Man in a Trap” captures Erik Estrada (CHiPs). “A Ransom for Yesterday” is a snail mail mystery when six years after a boy vanishes, a ransom note arrives. Dabney Coleman (Boardwalk Empire) and Howard Hesseman (WKRP) get a grilling from Mannix. “The Empty Tower” turns the tables when Mannix and Bill Bixby (The Incredible Hulk) get trapped in a vault while looking for safe crackers. “Bird of Prey” is a two part journey to South America with Robert Loggia (The Sopranos). “Design For Dying” lets Mannix meet the ’80s version of himself in Tom Selleck (Magnum P.I.). “Search for a Dead Man” gives us another dose of Magnum with John Hillerman. “Hard Ball” wraps up the series with a major hostage case at the courthouse. Mannix has to out the rat. John Ritter (Three’s Company) is the big future guest star. Such a shame there wouldn’t be a ninth season because season eight doesn’t exhibit a decline in the action. Fans of detective shows need to have all 8 bullets of Mannix on the shelf.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: XXV is a reason to celebrate on two levels. First it means over half of the 197 episodes have been released on DVD. The second is that two of the films are from Universal which quite a few people once thought were impossible like the Gamera titles. Revenge of the Creature (Season 8) is historic since it marked the series swapping from Comedy Central to SciFi Channel (now SyFy). Dr. Forrester is gone with his mother Pearl (Mary Jo Pehl) now in charge of torturing Mike Nelson and the Bots. But her first bad movie is actually a good one. Revenge of the Creature is the follow up to Creature From the Black Lagoon. The Creature is captured and brought to Florida to live at a marine park. He doesn’t like showbiz life and revolts. The Satellite of Love has been detached from Deep 13, but they can’t escape the clutches of Pearl. Robot Holocaust (Season 1) is my favorite catch phrase to abuse in mixed company. What isn’t more exciting than a robot holocaust? The film was relatively new having been released in 1986 and mocked on MST3K in 1990. This marked the end of the Radar Men From the Moon Serial as the 9th chapter snaps in the projector. If you order XXV from Shoutfactory.com – they’ll throw in a DVD with all the serials and the lost chapter. It’s worth it. Operation Kid Brother (Season 5) was originally released as Operation Double 007 starring Neil Connery – Sean’s extremely less talented brother. The producers went all out in getting Bond co-stars into the credits. Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell aren’t really playing M and Miss Moneypenny. Lois does more than type in this film. She’s packing heat. Daniela Bianchi (From Russia With Love gets to spice up the screen once more without a distracting typewriter. Adolfo Celi villains it up, but he’s really not Largo from Thunderball. The gang has fun poking holes in this barely there spy flick that so badly wants you to think Neil and Sean are interchangeable. Kitten With A Whip (Season 6) should be a classic with the title, a young Ann-Margret and an uptight John Forsythe. She’s run away from a juvenile detention and needs John to hide her from the law. His wife is away so there’s plenty of space in his house. This Universal film doesn’t feature either leads whipping each other. That would have really made this film Oscar worthy. Instead we’re left with a teasing film with a tragic ending. At least MST3K delivers the promised Kitten with a whip during a break segment. Meoooooow. The bonus features include intros from Joel and Mike. We catch up with 1st season vanishing act J. Elvis Weinstein and Bill Corbett. There’s a fine documentary about Jack Arnold, director of Revenge of the Creature and other Universal Sci-Fi event films. XXV shows that even past the halfway mark, the series is still racing full out.

The Game: The Fifth Season brings back the CW show that was revived on BET. The series deals with the players and wives on a fictional football team. The acting is much more believable here than on VH1’s Basketball Wives. After only 13 episodes on its first BET run, The Fifth Season has 22 episodes to keep the drama and comedy coming. There’s tension since Melanie wants another baby, but Derwin is having issues. The team’s quarterback learns quickly that he’s not 10 feet high and bulletproof. One player wants to have an affair with his wife after their divorce clears. In a reality twist, a player must dump his overpriced mansion in a short sell. It’s like a torn from Terrell Owens life element. The saddest moment is when a player has an orgy with three ladies that falls apart when his MVP turns into a punter. There’s a lot of drama that doesn’t get covered on the NFL Network.

My Little Pony – Friendship Is Magic: Adventures in the Crystal Empire unbridles more fun to the Brony culture dominating college kids. The five episodes on the DVD are “The Crystal Empire, Part 1,” “The Crystal Empire, Part 2,” “Sonic Rainboom,” “Luna Eclipsed and “It’s About Time.” The two-parter was a big hit when it aired on Hub. A mysterious event happens in the northern corner of Equestria. Twilight Sparke is sent off to make sure the strangers don’t destroy her kingdom. She has to find a special crystal to prevent such ugliness from happening. Adventures in the Crystal Empire proved very addictive to my preschool daughter. The level of quality can be measured by how long she’ll scream if I don’t press the replay button so she can watch all five episodes again. This DVD was a four star fit. She insists I call her Twilight Sparkle in public. The bonus feature includes pdf coloring pages and a sing-along. This is perfect for your Brony Christmas party.

Titanic: Blood & Steel takes us back to a time before James Cameron’s Titanic. The 12 part mini-series covers the creation of the doomed luxury liner. There’s a lot of tension involved in the project. There’s a culture clash between the Catholics and Protestants at the Belfast shipyard. The American metallurgist doesn’t like how he’s being told to come up with cheaper metals for the project. The workers want to form a union. There’s also plenty of romantic drama between the rivets. The cast includes Neve Campbell (Scream), Chris Noth (Sex and the City) and Derek Jacobi (I, Claudius). You might not remember the mini-series since it ran on Encore. The strange part about the film is that you know how this cruise ends. But you do have the tension of wondering which characters are going to demand tickets on the maiden voyage to enjoy the fruits of their labors.

Fred 3: Camp Fred is the 21st version of Ernest Goes to Camp with a squeaky voice. Fred Figglehorn is just annoying enough to have a massive following. Some may complain, but Fred is an amazing success story. Lucas started playing this character on youtube videos and has accumulated nearly a billion views. He started as a kid in Nebraska and ends up a star on Nickelodeon. This is what the digital revolution is all about. Fred 3: Camp Fred harkens back to “Camp Granada.” Fred thinks his mom has sent him to a great camp that has monkey butlers, water slides and real food. Instead he’s taken away to Camp Iwannapeepee. This place is as disturbing as you could imagine a summer camp run by Tom Arnold. The food is gruel for all meals. The lake is a toxic waste dump. The nurse is hot with no sense of first aid. The horse has only three legs. Plus the woods are haunted by a Crocobearimoose. He wants to escape, but is overcome with the desire to beat the rival camp in a competition because his rival Kevin is there. John Cena reprises his role as Fred’s father. What truly makes this a great camp movie is Tracey Walter (Repo Man) as the creepy old guy who pops up at the wrong moments. The DVD includes “Playing His Figgle Horn” and “Making Camp.” Ernest would be proud of Fred’s work.

SOUTH HAMPTON – During last year’s interview with executive producer Josh Mills about The Ernie Kovacs Collection, I asked if there was more great Kovacs moments in the vault. He said yes. Now with the release of The Ernie Kovacs Collection, Volume 2, there’s another 3 DVDs featuring the pioneer of TV weirdness and a bonus DVD if you order from Shout! Factory’s website. The previous collection gave an overview of Kovac’s TV career that started in the ’50s and ended with his death in 1962. Volume 2 focuses on his NBC morning show, the gameshow Take A Good Look and TV pilot with a legend of silent film.

The set’s executive producer Josh Mills is the son of Edie Adams. Edie is Ernie’s widow. She married photographer Martin Mills in 1964 and Josh was born a few years later. Josh has control over the vault of Ernie’s shows that Edie rescued from various networks. When we spoke on the phone, Josh was on Long Island dealing with the Hurricane Sandy damage to a relative’s house. But even the lack of power didn’t reduce the electricity of talking about the second helping of Kovacs.

Josh and curator Ben Model narrowed the material used on Volume 2. The big focus of the set was 8 episodes of Ernie’s mid-morning show that aired on NBC in 1956. Ernie was far from conventional even in such a normal time slot with a normal studio audience at 30 Rock. He didn’t have guests or cooking segments. He’d have an opening chat about a current event and then break into strange sketches. The closest TV has come to this level of weirdness was when NBC killed their gameshows to give David Letterman a 90 minute show in the summer of 1980. Coincidentally both shows had Bill Wendell serve as announcer. Letterman is a child of Kovacs.

“Letterman was great on the first set he gave us a great quote about Ernie and had my mom on his show,” Josh said. Merill Markoe, head writer for Dave’s morning show and Late Night, told John how vital Ernie was on Dave’s view of TV. “When they were first coming up with The Late Night show, they would go over to the Museum of Broadcasting and watch a lot of the stuff.” Merill appears in the American Cinematique Panel discussion featured on the boxset to testify about the impact Kovacs had on TV comedy.

The strange part of Ernie’s adventure in morning TV is the studio audience that seemed too normal for Ernie’s warped fun. How many were confused when Ernie broke out a puppet show? How many thought they were on Candid Camera?

“My mom said that Ernie never really liked having a (studio) audience,” Josh said. “It was not really meant for an audience. He did radio before television, but it wasn’t like he was transitioning a radio show into a television show. He was saying, let’s try something different. How did he realize that this was going to work? There was no precedent for it. He came up with a crazy idea and said, ‘Let’s try it and see if it happens.’ That’s what I like about the morning shows. If it doesn’t work he goes, ‘It didn’t’ happen. Let’s move on to the next thing.’”

Ernie wasn’t about entertaining a large audience in a room. At the height of Ernie’s popularity, he landed a gig with Edie at the Tropicana. Ernie loved to gamble. It seemed like a perfect place. Edie had a performance background as an actress and singer. “My mom would say to him, ‘You got to play bigger. You got to hit the back of the audience.’ He didn’t know how to do that. He wasn’t a stand up. He didn’t do vaudeville. He wasn’t someone comfortable on the state. He was happy in his own little world creating for the guy in his living room watching in his boxers and t-shirt.”
Watching the NBC shows, it’s easy to assume that network executives had to be completely confused by the show. Even though Ernie mentions in one episode that the ratings have gone up, but the show didn’t last the summer.

“He always had a problem with suits because he just wanted to be left alone,” Josh said. “He knew what he thought was funny. ‘You’re hiring me to do a job and I’m going to do it.’ He had no tolerance for anyone telling him anything different. As we got to the late ’50s and early ’60s he was finding his stride. He was really able to do the things he wanted thanks to a great sponsor in Dutch Masters. They basically said, ‘We’re buying the time. If you sell cigars, I don’t care what’s on.’ He was very lucky in that sense.”

In a strange twist, Dutch Masters sponsored a gameshow hosted by Kovacs. Take A Good Look is a variation of What’s My Line. A panel of three stars guess a secret about the mystery guest. The panel must guess this secret thanks via strange short video clues. The clues hint at the blackout sketches that dominated Ernie’s masterpiece ABC specials. Ernie drives his star pals nuts. Cesar Romero (Batman‘s The Joker) loses it when Ernie claims he’s giving the rules of the game. “There are no rules!” the guest insists. Ernie smokes away and gives a sly smile. Edie Adams was also a fixture along with Tony Randall, Hans Conreid, Ben Alexander, Carl Reiner and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

“The great thing about the one with Zsa Zsa Gabor is she’s Hungarian and Ernie’s Hungarian,” Josh said. “All of her mishegas, he loves it cause he can throw it back at her and she can throw it back at him. And they have this weird Hungarian thing going.”

Ernie didn’t see himself as merely a host. He figured he could reuse elements of the gameshow for a later purpose. “My mom always maintained that the clips were Ernie’s way of banking content for creating a special that he didn’t have to show up for. Ernie worked two or three steps ahead of everyone,” Josh said.

How many of the 52 episodes still exist? “There are somewhere between 28 to 32 total,” Josh said. “We chose the ones we thought were the best. There’s more to see.” If you want to see more, ordering Volume 2 from Shout! Factory’s website will get you a bonus DVD with 7 episodes of Take A Good Look.

The show rates up with Groucho Marx’s You Bet Your Life as addictive shows where you don’t care who wins. It’s all about the comic mayhem. So I had to ask if he’s been shopping the episodes to the various nostalgia TV channels.

“We did talk to someone at the Game Show Network. They are more into original programming and doing color programming,” Josh said. “Antenna and the Me-TV are definitely the places to see this.” Universal’s upcoming COSI-TV will be airing You Bet Your Life so maybe they’ll make a deal to air Ernie and Groucho in tandem?

The big find on the boxset is Medicine Man. This was a pilot Ernie made with the legendary Buster Keaton. Ernie plays a snakeoil salesman with Buster as an old Indian sidekick. The show never became a series since Ernie died shortly after they shot the 30 minute sitcom. The transfer looks as stellar as the cast. Ben Model and Shout! Factory were able to strike a deal with Sony. Model accompanies silent films on the piano and organ at the Museum of Modern Art. He wouldn’t be denied a chance to bring Keaton into the boxset.

“The thought of Ernie Kovacs and Buster Keaton was mind blowing,” Josh said. “We had talked about it for the first set, but it became a money issue. A lot of the stuff I already owned. On the second set we had room to play a little bit which is why the CBC interview and Medicine Man show up. It’s one of the few times you see the Master of Silent Film and the Master of Television on the same show. I think they both loved the fact that they were working together, but at the same time they were both taking a paycheck.” Josh speculated that if the show had become a series, it’s hard not to think that Kovacs and Keaton would have taken control of the production to make it their kinda show.
Josh’s latest big project is a tribute to his mother. He’s in the process of gathering together her TV series Here’s Edie and The Edie Adam’s Show for a DVD boxset. The twenty episodes alternated with The Sid Cesar Show from 1962-64.

“The guy who ran Consolidated Cigars came to my mom after Ernie died and said we want you to promote Muriel Cigars. They bought the time on ABC and didn’t care about the ratings as long as they sold cigars. My mom could do whatever she wanted. She did a very high brow show.” The guests included Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Peter Falk, Jonathan Winters, Bob Hope and dozens more. “It’s like a variety show from another dimension. My mom really dug in and did some interesting stuff on her show. ”

Right now he’s dealing with clearing the various rights involved in bring his mom’s show to home video. It pained Josh to snip out a few of her mom’s musical moments from Ernie’s morning show episodes when he couldn’t come to terms with music publishers.

“My grandfather was a music publisher so I get why publishers charge what they do,” Josh said. Volume 2 would have been much more costly if they had met the demands. “We’d have to double or triple our budget to do the music clearance. We’re working around that and trying to see possibly if there’s a way to get it done on my mom’s set. Things that were excised from Ernie’s set we can include as bonuses on my mom’s set. I’m working the angles. I get the publisher side of it, but it really kills so many projects.”

Mills not only licenses out footage involving Ernie and his mom, but he oversees his father’s celebrity photos that his father took for TV Guide and other magazines. He also manages bands. He’s involved in both sides of licensing.

For those eager to see more of Edie’s acting, she’ll be on Shout! Factory’s upcoming Fantasy Island: The Complete Season Four boxset. Josh picked up a talent on another Aaron Spelling celebrity series. “I was on the set of her two part episode of The Love Boat (featured on the Season Two, Volume One boxset). I learned how to play backgammon on the set where they were shooting the Lido deck. There was an extra, this guy was in every episode walking past Isaac or Gopher. He was bored and said, ‘Do you want play backgammon.’ I said, ‘I don’t know how to play.’ We sat there for hours and I learned how to play.” This proves there was educational content to The Love Boat. Edie’s time on the Aaron Spelling shows sort of paid off when she was cast in Shooting Stars.

“He hired my mom to do a pilot with Billie Dee Williams and Parker Stevenson that was one of the very few that didn’t become a massive hit. My mom said, ‘Great, I don’t get cast in the one that doesn’t run for eight years so I could stay at home and earn some good money.’”

Will there be a third volume of Kovacs arriving in 2013? “We do have more material. I think after the Christmas we’ll take a look at what kind of sales we had. If it makes sense, they’ll probably want do it. If not, we’re happy that we got 30 plus hours out. That’s fairly gratifying in itself,” Josh said.

One thing people were hoping for in Volume 2 is the first three ABC specials that are controlled by Ernie’s daughter from his first marriage. Did she ever contact Mills about being part of the project? “She’s chosen to not be involved. I’m not sure what her thoughts are on it,” Josh said.

Mills thoughts about Kovacs are rather obvious. He was hoping to make it off of Long Island and drive down to Silver Springs, Maryland for AFI hosted panels about Ernie. He wants Ernie’s face in your mailbox on a stamp.

“My job is to insert Ernie back into the conversation about comedians and classic television,” Josh said. “For a long time he wasn’t. I think it’s about time and I’m looking forward to going to AFI since they do a lot of events with the Post Office when they announce a director being on a stamp. How can I move that process along with Ernie.”

He envisions Ernie being able to reach a new generation including a very young generation. “I’d like to be able to license the Kovacs name and likeness to a Baby Einstein project.”

I’d be the first person to buy Baby Kovacs. They’d have to go with a pacifier over the iconic cigar thanks to anti-smoking lobby.

The Ernie Kovacs Collection: Volume 2 is the perfect holiday gift for those who appreciated the original boxset set. As pointed out before, if you order from Shout! Factory’s website, you can get a worthwhile bonus disc.

PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT!

Skip Black Friday and just order all your relatives copies of my The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart Greeters. It’s the gift that says, “You might want to think your career running a hedgefund.

Also the book is perfect for that Secret Santa gift required at the Office Christmas Party. It’s a way of saying, “They need to fire you lazy ass!” without saying it.

BLOOD FEUD

Ever discover you’re a Twitter enemy with a major figure and you can’t explain why? This is what happened to me when former MSNBC savior Keith Olbermann blocked me from following his tweets. I thought he’d just given up on Twitter to focus on the next phase of his career. But nope. He’d just given up on me. We’d swapped emails about who controls the Montreal Expos name. I’d never attacked him. But now he’s put me on his enemies list like Rush, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly. Does this mean I’m now stuck with a Victoria Jackson stigma? I shouldn’t be so shocked – it’s not like he was a real friend. Just a former TV friend who is no longer on the dial. He’s turned into Foster Brooks after they canceled the Dean Martin Roasts. That’s a slur worthy of blockage.

MISSED RANCH NOTES

I forgot to mention in the big coverage about how Joslyn James is working at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in December. She was visiting the Ranch during Dennis Hof’s birthday party to get to know the other Bunnies. You would know Joslyn James from her time as one of Tiger Woods’ girlfriends before his wife went nuts on him a few years back. We didn’t really talk about Tiger although I mentioned that ever since his wife shipped him off to sex rehab, his golf game has gone to Hell. How could she have destroyed his winning routine? Perhaps Joslyn can work for your golf game? Forget spending a fortune on a swing coach, you might have a chance to capture the eye of Tiger Woods by hooking up with Joslyn during the holidays. If Tiger wants to win another major, he might as well use some of his runner-up winnings to book a party with his old mojo.

MUSICAL SIDE NOTES

Been listening to Holly Herndon’s Movement album. She reminds me a bit of Throbbing Gristle with her beats derived from electronic sounds, beats and beeps. “Dilato” gives off the vibe of entering the Monolith from 2001. The big difference is Holly isn’t quite as creepy as TG. It’s great music for an intimate night with you and your computer tablet.

MEL-PALOOZA

The Incredible Mel Brooks: An Irresistible Collection of Unhinged Comedy is the comedic genius’ life presented as one giant bonus feature spread over 60 pages, 5 DVDs and 1 CD. For those who bought his movies on Blu-ray who felt there should have been more extras, they’re all between these covers. There’s more Mel here than Anne Bancroft has experienced. First off is a five part series where Mel gives the details on all his movies from the legendary The Producers to the unfortunate Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Mel needs to make one more movie to just end on a high note. The program starts where it should, Mel doing “The Hitler Rap.” He slaps on the mustache and the goosestep. “Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett Together Again” is their HBO special from 2010 with bonus banter. They even give us their original together with clips from Mel visiting The Dick Cavett Show in 1970 & 1972. There’s a montage of his various visits with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Johnny’s set is really cheesy back in the early ’70s with the shag carpet action. Mel plays Hitler another time on David Frost’s Peeping Times series. This time he’s part of lost Hitler home movies. inside Danny Baker is his first shot at writing a TV pilot. It didn’t make it onto the schedule. Get Smart was a hit when Mel teamed up with Buck Henry for the pilot that’s included here. “In the Beginning: The Casear Years” deals with the amazing talent that wrote for Your Show of Shows and Sid Casear. Mike Wallace’s 60 Minutes interview covers the opening of The Producers on Broadway. Mel was the toast of the town in 2001.

“The Critic” is a short based on Mel’s old man routines while he was still young. The cartoon won the Oscar. There’s also Mel’s hilarious trailer for the Italian sword and sandals epic My Son, The Hero. It’s so much better than the film. Mel and Carl Reiner’s “2000 Year Old Man” character gets explored with bonus routines of them from back in ’60s. “I Thought I Was Taller: A Short History of Mel Brooks aired as part of the BBC’s Arena series. The 45 minute piece covers what Mel was doing in 1981. Mel gets Sid Casear back on the small screen for an episode of When Things Were Rotten. Mel explains the show was canceled after half a season because ABC didn’t want any more single camera comedies. They include the joy of Mel receiving his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The CD includes several comedy bits and songs from Mel’s movies. You’ll be able to cruise around blasting “Springtime for Hitler.” At the end of the boxset, I’m tempted to call up his office since I feel like we’re pals. He has annexed the Sudetenland of my funnybone. If you own the Blu-rays of Mel’s movies, you are required to buy The Incredible Mel Brooks to truly appreciate the man who does his hardest to be a myth.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Astonishing X-Men mutates all the Joss Whedon and Jack Cassady issues with the Marvel Knights Animation. The duo had created four series involving the superheroes back in 2004. Each six issue series was turned into its own animated feature that have been put together on two Blu-rays in the boxset. “Gifted” focuses on members being offered a “mutant cure” by a scientist. Can they get rid of their powers so they can live a normal life? Elements of this storyline were used for the X-Men: The Last Stand Movie. This plot works much better here than in the Brett Ratner film. “Dangerous” turns the Danger room against the X-Men trapped inside. Emma Frost gets a tempting offer to rejoin the Hellfire Club that’s being run with new management. Can she leave the X-men? “Torn” gets freaky as the Hellfire members mess with the minds of certain X-Men. They need to unlock Cassandra Nova’s mind that’s trapped inside a slug. Emma makes her choice on which side has her loyalty. Before things can be completely sorted out, the X-Men get whisked off into outer space to battle in Breakworld. “Unstoppable” has the Earth threatened by a giant bullet. If they blow it, we’re all toast. Whedon proves he understands how to make comic books work which is why The Avengers is a much bigger hit than Daredevil. Things click properly on the screen with his words being spoken by the characters. Cassady’s artwork gets properly manipulated so it’s more than Clutch Cargo action. For those people eager for Whedon’s next superhero movie, it’s here. The 1080p image really makes the artwork pop on the HDTV.

DVD SHELF

Perry Mason Season 8, Volume 1 is a bit of a shock since we’re not waiting a full year for its release. His caseload has been sped up. The cases for the first half of the penultimate season have all the necessary twists to keep the legal thrillers enthralling. “The Case of the Paper Bullets” lands Richard Anderson (The Six Million Dollar Man‘s Oscar Goldman) in hot water when his wife gets busted for killing the stepson of a political rival. Anderson would return for the ninth season as Lt. Steve Drumm. “The Case of the Scandalous Sculptor” makes sweet June Lockhart (Lost In Space) look homicidally guilty. Her sculptor husband’s main model turns up dead. Why shouldn’t she have put her curves in a body bag? “The Case of the Nautical Knot” ties up Barbara Bain (Mission: Impossible and Space: 1999). “The Case of the Bullied Bowler” has a shock at the start. Perry Mason has gone on vacation. Instead we’re treated to Mike Connors (Mannix) having to defend two brothers that run a bowling alley. “The Case of a Place Called Midnight” takes us to Switzerl and on Perry’s vacation. You know what doesn’t take a holiday? Homicide. Perry must investigate a foreign affair. Werner Klemperer (Col. Klink on Hogan’s Heroes) gets to work out his German accent. “The Case of the Latent Lover” gives us time with Harold Gould, the Dean of Thespians. “The Case of the Blonde Bonanza” contains no actual Cartwrights. Instead it’s Mary Ann Mobley (Girl HappyGirl Happy co-star Gary Crosby gets in trouble during “The Case of the Frustrated Folksinger.” He plays a star named Jazbo. That sounds like a great DJ name. Season 8, Volume 2 comes out Jan. 15 so save up your Christmas gift cards.

The Expendables 2 reunites Sly Stallone and his merry band of action heroes with a few new familiar faces eager to play bang-bang in Bulgaria. Who is kick butt this time around? The credits include Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Randy Couture and Jean-Claude Van Damme. It’s like The Love Boat with bullets. They even have the “youngster” Liam Hemsworth from Hunger Games. The movie’s plot once more is tribute to the Cannon Films era. Sly’s forced to do an easy mission by Bruce to retrieve a top secret computer from a downed spy plane. But what Bruce forgets to tell him is that Jean-Claude Van Damme (the Muscles from Brussels) is also out to get the device. Why? Cause it’ll lead him to a major stash of plutonium. To make sure that the case gets personal, JCVD kills one of the Expendables. This leads to a fierce final battle between Sly and him. Chuck Norris looks like the new spokesman for a beard dying product. Luckily he wears a ballcap so there’s no distraction at his Shatner-esque rug. Unlike the previous film, Sly and Bruce do get to kick a little ass on screen this time. Dolph fills in for Mickey Rourke’s missing character. Long as you approach this film as big dumb action, you’re in for a bullet riddled rollercoaster ride. You can have a drinking game ready to get into the spirit. We took a shot every time Sly attempts to move his face into an expression. There’s been a lot of plastic surgery on those tough guy faces. The gang enjoys making jokes about their previous roles and catch phrases. It does take me back to that time when an action hero didn’t have to be a mutant in spandex to fight evil. Expendables 2 is a necessity.

Javier Bardem 3-Film Collection captures this year’s Bond villain with a trio of his major roles. No Country For Old Men made him an overnight superstar in America. The Coen brothers created him into the most fearless hitman with a dorky haircut. He’s going around Texas killing people with a pneumatic air gun. He also uses games of chance to determine if his potential victims live or die. He won the best supporting actor Oscar for the role, but he is the movie. Sure we’re supposed to relate to Tommy Lee Jones, but the meatiest moments on the screen are devoured by Bardem. Mondays in the Sun won Bardem the Goya for best acting in his native Spain. The film is about a group of unemployed guys from the shutdown shipyard. They do their best to stay optimistic as they struggle for fulltime jobs. Bardem plays a guy named Santa who considers going to another country. This film reflects the psyche of so many in Spain as their economy has tanked. Biutiful landed Bardem another Oscar nomination for Best Actor. He’s a bleak guy roaming around Barcelona. This is not the happy Spanish city as seen in Barcelona. He knows he is doomed and nothing can change it. But can he change others? The bonus feature is the director’s video diary to give us a taste of Bardem on the set. For those impressed by Bardem’s work in Skyfall, this collection will give you a sense of what other roles he’s capable of presenting on screen.

The Yummy Gummy Search for Santa uploads the Youtube sensation into his first movie. How big of a star is the Gummy Bear online? He’s collected 260 million hits for one of his videos. That’s enough of a following to justify expanding the character into a 50 minute holiday super spectacular in CGI. He’s a green giant gummy bear wearing a pair of yellow Y-front undershorts and sneakers. He loves to dance and shake his tail. But on Christmas eve, things get serious when Santa Claus goes missing. He has to save the holiday and sing a few songs. They smartly include his hit “I Am a Gummy Bear.” The bonus features includes music videos. The story might be too weird for really young kids, but medium sized ones should get a kick out of the unorthodox holiday humor.

Outlaw Brothers (Dragon Dynasty) is from the time in Hong Kong cinema when everyone was getting that Woo-ness mixed with Miami Vice coolness. Two brothers are doing well for themselves as car thieves. James (Frankie Chan Fan-Kei) and Bond (Max Mok Siu-Chung) are a formable brother tandem. But their talent hasn’t gone unnoticed. There’s a female police officer (Oshima Yukari) on their tailpipes. But she’s the least of their problems since they’ve ticked off various gangsters with their four-wheel snatches. The film avoids the bullet ballet of John Woo HK epics and sticks with good old fashioned martial arts actions. This brings together the world of fast cars and open hand battles. It’s a fast and slick film from 1990 that deserves to be appreciated by a larger audience. Jackie Chan helped out on one of the fights.

Hirokin: The Last Samurai lets Wes Bentley tone down his beard from The Hunger Games. He’s a warrior on a distant planet that’s a rather desolate place. It’s your classic warrior of the wasteland scenario. He’s got a rather good sword on him, but it’s not nearly as sharp as his past. This reminds me of the warrior in the wasteland flicks that Roger Corman distributed through New World. Making this film interesting to watch is the arrival of Julian Sands. He’s kind of the ’80s version of Wes so their interplay is effective. This is a fine way to spend the evening for those addicted to SyFy original movies.

Triad Wars brings more of the Sammo Hung big moves to our shores. The star of Martial Law is on the other side of the law this time. There’s a full fledge turf battle going on in Hong Kong with the various gangster outfits in battle mode. Sammo is the godfather who is losing internal control of his men. He needs to go to desperate measures to let everyone know who is in charge. He’s not going to be eaten by any of the young tigers. Simon Yam and Wu Jing work under Sammo . They quickly learn to not mess with the boss or he will put them down. It’s nearly two hours of mobster-related martial arts fighting. There’s a touch of torture to make this more than chop-socky action. Danny Lee (John Woo’s The Killer) plays the detective on the case.

The Queen of Versailles was a hot ticket at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham. David and Jackie Siegel are just an ordinary couple who are filthy rich. He runs the Wesgate Resorts that deals in time-shares. Readers of Party Favors understand that time-share wrestling is my favorite vacation activity. I’ve played against Siegel’s machine and won. Well the Siegels were rolling in dough when they broke ground on what was going to be the largest private house in America. They would live in a 90,000 square ft. mansion. The average family of 4 can live comfortably in a 2,000 sq. ft. house. Their place had 30 bedrooms, 10 kitchens, an ice rink and baseball field as part of the plan. The Siegels did have 8 kids so they could use the space. Thanks to the meltdown on 2008, the Siegels had to rethink their housing plans. They’re broke and the massive house is unfinished. They can’t unload the house cause they want $75 million for a shell. Director Lauren Greenfield and her crew catches the family at this sensitive moment. In a small way, there’s rooting for them to finish their dream house, but they make you feel glad that they can’t get what they want. There are moments I expect the camera operator to reach around and slap them during interviews. They go from private jets to shopping at Walmart. What’s frightening is how the elderly father is so unemotional to his family. His focus is completely on his company. The Siegels are suing the filmmakers claiming the movie makes them appear vulgar. Please remember that Mr. Siegel told his employees that if they didn’t vote for Mitt Romney, he’d have to fire them. The documentary works on so many levels as it explores the family and their incomplete housing dream that it deserves a Best Picture Oscar nomination.

2 Days in New York makes me fall in love with Julie Delpy one more time. She returns as her Marion character from 2 Days in Paris. She’s now living in New York City sharing custody of her child. She’s dating Chris Rock which seems like a normal thing. What isn’t normal her family flying over from Paris. To make matters worse, they’ve invited along Julie’s old French boyfriend. Chris Rock isn’t sure what to make of this entire situation. Does he need Pootie Tang to save him from the insanity? Delpy does her best to calm things down, but her family won’t cooperate. It’s my favorite Chris Rock film since Pootie Tang. Delpy co-wrote and directed the film so it’s not merely her acting. This is insanity from her mischievous soul.

CARSON CITY – Dennis Hof is transforming. He has a bordello empire with a license to operate sixth house in the works. He’ll have more women working for his houses than players in the NBA. He just opened the Alien Cathouse near Area 51. This new themed establishment makes it possible for nerds to truly hook up with a woman in a Princess Leia Slave Ensemble. He’s has a new knee and girlfriend (naturally a blonde) helping him rehab. He’s ready to party and his birthday’s the perfect excuse to celebrate.

How could the Party Favors refuse an invitation to spend a weekend celebration in the World Famous Bunny Ranch within craps throwing distance of Reno? The good part about a Dennis Hof party is that it’s not going to end up a sausage fest. There shall be ladies and interesting guests. This is what your friends in college imagined their parties were going to be like…except they weren’t like a Dennis Hof party. I couldn’t miss out on the fun since I needed to perform more research for my upcoming business book: House Rules: How to Make Your Employees Love Being Treated As Prostitutes. The self-help book is based on my experiences with Dennis over the years. Forget Donald Trump as business role model. Dennis has mastered the concept of making everybody happy at the end of a deal.

The party was set up to be a three day blow out. Madame Suzette had planned out a celebration worthy of her boss’s stature as the place to party. This wasn’t only going to be cake, ice cream, punch and a few party favors. There will be things that won’t be allowed on Instagram. Down in the Southern part of Nevada, they have an old tourism board saying, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” But what’s the deal with Carson City? How much can I tell about a “lost weekend” in a brothel? The Party Favors decided that if Dennis mentioned it as part of his Ustream show (http://www.ustream.tv/channel/dennis-hof), it’s fair game to relate. I’m not going to tease you that much – this isn’t about going to a stripclub. This was the greatest party since Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball.

Friday night was the social evening of drinks and karaoke to let the guests. `There was a great delight in just hanging out in the lobby and bar chatting away while Dennis welcomed his friends to his dream house. Dennis moved very well for a man who had knee replacement surgery six weeks before. But he also has the greatest rehab partners to keep him interested in therapy. His latest girlfriend is Courtney Cross, a tall Texas blond with a surprising talent. More on that later. What happened to his last girlfriend that was featured on HBO’s Cathouse? No need to ask. All you need to know is that Dennis Hof is the only man in America who doesn’t whine about getting back in the dating scene. He has better things to discuss in conversations. He mentioned how he explained to Elizabeth Taylor the difference between a vibrator and a dildo. My ears quickly perk up with such a tale. Dennis did once dine with the first lady of cinema. Ron Jeremy wanted to sleep with her so he could brag about the occasion. Naturally he wouldn’t point out what year it happened. A lot of the talk focused on Andy Kaufman. The late star of Taxi was Dennis’ traveling partner to Nevada cathouses in the late ’70s. How come that wasn’t in The Man In the Moon? I swore Tony Clifton’s ghost roamed around the hot tub in the back during the weekend. Or maybe it really was Tony Clifton.

The big talk of this visit to Ranch was “The Girlfriend Experience.” Not sure what influence the movie played in the craze, but seems like a lot men I met had their prime lady to see. There are a few women working exclusively as the girlfriend experience. They only visit the ranch when their date flies into town for a weekend long date. They don’t come running when the bell rings for the line-up. One guy explained to me that the girlfriend experience is cheaper by the hour than his last divorce lawyer. He kept in contact with his “girlfriend” over the internet between his flights to the Reno-Tahoe airport. The only bad difficult part of “the experience” is a chance of relationship drama. Some girlfriends don’t like seeing their “boyfriends” disappearing into other rooms. But when you’re a kid in a candy store, you can’t resist sampling from other colorful jars.

I quickly found myself enjoying the “Friend Who’s a Girl Experience” with the stunning Bailey Paige. The tall blond had remembered me from four years earlier when interviewed Dennis for the award winning “Hof/Corey Interview.” We quickly became drinking buddies for what turned out to be a longer night than I expected with a body still on east coast time. Casinos pump pure oxygen through the air vents to keep gamblers throwing around the chips. I have my suspicion that Dennis has figured out how to turn Red Bull into an aerosol spray to keep the party bouncing until the wee hours.

During the first night festivities, Dennis introduced me to Sunny Lane. How can talk about Sunny without sounding so sunny? How do you even talk to her? The AVN winning actress is a rarity amongst adult performers with her lack of surgical enhancements. She has a body made for HDTV. The Georgia Peach grew up with dreams of being an Olympic ice skater. However that dream feel through when issues with her feet that took her off the ice. Through a series of circumstances, she landed a job at the Bunny Ranch and appeared on the early episodes of Cathouse as Sunshine. This led to a career in adult cinema including the new Batgirl XXX. Here’s the almost workplace safe version of the trailer.

I became locked into awkward teenage mindset of muttering, “You’re so purty.” This however did not destroy the encounter. Sunny guided me on a tour of all the changes Dennis made since the last visit. There’s a brand new heated pool that’s perfect for late night skinny dips. The hottub has been upgraded. The bunnies are happy to have a larger work out center. There’s even a corral for Dennis’ horses. During the day, wild horses visit the compound. It’s truly the nature scene on the hill. It was a chilly night and Sunny was dressed in her skimpy work outfit. I loaned her my sweatshirt. We marveled at how bright the stars were in the Nevada sky. As I looked back down and saw her bundled inside my sweatshirt, I pondered if this moment was the “Gosh I Should Ask You Out to See If You’d Like to be My Girlfriend Experience.” She is such a sweetheart. She had taken a break from movies and working at the Bunny Ranch to enjoy life, but is now back and full of steam. Even with such an adorable cuteness, there’s a focused drive to her eyes. She is serious about her career in the flesh trade. She spoke of the issues in the adult video industry including the various sites offering free streams of her life’s work. This was what drove her to wake up in the wee small hours of the night to check the sharpness of her blades.

Sunny spoke about her time meeting Kim Kardashian. She’d figure they’d bond since they both are known for their asses and sex tapes. But Kim wanted nothing to do with Sunny. This is probably just pure envy on Kim’s part since Sunny knows how to work her ass and looks like she’s enjoys getting laid in her sex tapes. Sunny should have her own E! series since her mom and dad help with her career. Why can’t Ryan Secrest give us “Sunny Side Up!” or something of that ilkish titling?

During our tour, we stopped by the room of Carrasa Kisses. A lot people ask what kind of woman works at the Bunny Ranch. Mostly they expect tales of high school drop outs that went to work at Hooters, moved up to strip clubs and adult movies until they ended up in prostitution. Carrasa surprised me when she spoke of working in an operating room. I foolishly asked if she was a surgical nurse. She’s a surgeon. Why is she operating for Dennis? She went through med school and finished her residency. Her student debt was enormous. Instead of living on Top Ramen while paying off massive loans and huge malpractice insurance premiums, Carrasa called up Madame Suzette. She is a doctor who has bedroom eyes. During the three-way conversation, Sunny mentioned how much she likes Carrasa and it’d be really cool if we had a threesome.

Leonard Cohen should have written “The Sisters of Mercy” about these two ladies. There was such a warmth and spiritual healing feeling between them. As they both smiled at me, I could sense that this would be the kind of event that I’d brag about on my deathbed to loved ones before they smothered me with a pillow. It wasn’t just going to be a dirty evening, but a religious experience. A surgeon’s hands and a flexible figure skater made me think that this would be a party that had to last all weekend. Could I afford the Caligula dream that was kicking against my frontal lobes? Why didn’t I start a hedge fund? How much would they give me for my spare kidney? What if I threw in a spleen? Does my family need to eat for the rest of the year? Didn’t we eat enough food in the summer? Where are my magic beans? Will my wife bury me in a shallow grave or dump me in the lake “Dexter”-style? The sad truth is that the Party Favors expense account no longer covers Hookers and Blow like in the ’80s. My accountant warned me that even if I reviewed the party in the Party Favors, the IRS would cut me up if I claimed it as a business expense. For a brief moment, I prayed that Patti Kaplan would scratch on the door to let me know HBO was picking up the tab if I agree to let them film it. But there was no Make A Wish miracle. Nobody at Mastercard had to wonder if I put a down payment on buying Costa Rica. I was there to report and not play Neil Strauss. This is the most painful “fish that got away” story since I busted open my knee diving to catch an escaping bass. But at least I’m telling it to you and not a bankruptcy judge wondering how I spent two weeks in a bed. He’d probably want illustrations and I’d give them. Give me a minute to stop crying. What’s wrong with sending the kid to Community College and living in a tent? It builds character. Sunny guided me out of Carassa’s room. It was a walk of shame for me. But at least Sunny was wearing my sweatshirt.

Back at the bar the karaoke was in full swing. I found out more about the background of various Bunnies. One, whose name will remain secret, was on fall break from grad school. Her two weeks at the Ranch were going to cover spring semester. Tegan Tate was a trip since she reminded me of the Dark Side of Juno. The pixie-ish porn star had recently arrived at the Ranch after making a few films for the saintly folks at San Francisco’s Kink.com. What do you say to a woman that has “Punish me” tattooed under her breast? Sadie Lee talked to me about how she tried for a few weeks being a mail-order prostitute. She’d get appointments and fly around the country. She didn’t like the fact that she didn’t know who lurked behind the hotel room door and what he really wanted for his money. She liked the safety of Dennis’ bordello.

Hard to tell why HBO hasn’t done a new special about the Bunny Ranch. There’s so many stories eager to spill out from behind the gate. Patti Kaplan could make an entire special about Jayla Conrad, a third generation ranchhand. The redhead told me how when she was 16, she came across material from the Moonlite Ranch featuring not only her mom, but her grandmother. She waited until after Thanksgiving dinner to ask her mom and grandma. They didn’t deny it. We wondered if there’s ever a good time to let a daughter know that you and grandma worked at a cathouse? Maybe the topic could be mentioned after an episode of Cathouse? Turns out mom didn’t work there that long, but Jayda’s aunt did. Dennis said that Jayda’s aunt is responsible for getting him to buy the Moonlite Ranch and turning it into the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Dennis also admitted to hooking up with Jayda’s grandmother. Andy Kaufman was part of this family-style fun. How can HBO not see a “Cathouse: Family Tradition” special in Jayda’s family story? They could run it next Thanksgiving. Get on it, Sheila Nivens!

Saturday night was the big party at Dennis’ nightclub. The theme was alien costumes so the room was covered in lots of intergalactic naughtiness. Slutty alien described the most of the wardrobe choices. The major shocker was that only one woman showed up in the Slave Leia outfit. For those wondering, I showed up in a white safe suit like the guys who investigate alien landings.

The big star of the night was none other than Ron Jeremy. Why hasn’t the Kennedy Center Honored Ron Jeremy? The man has made more movies then Jimmy Stewart. He’s even made movie that doesn’t feature him naked although those straight films have him being killed in various ways. It’s pop or be popped in the cinema of Ron. He’s not a tall guy. In fact it felt odd towering over the living legend. Ron spent most of the night posing for pictures, signing breasts and eating at the buffet. The man enjoys his meals. Who couldn’t resist the buffet since it featured Moon Pies! I was going to bring Dennis some of the tasty Southern treats, but feared the TSA would swipe them from my luggage.

Instead of just people merely hanging out, there was a floor show courtesy of some very talented Bunnies and gals from The Love Ranch. Acts included hoola hoops, Brooke Taylor wearing a blond wig, Psy dancing and the Samba. The strangest moment was when Courtney Cross stepped on stage to deliver topless opera. People were expecting something on par with Bugs Bunny’s “What’s Opera, Doc?” Instead Courtney delivered a moving aria with her serious operatic skills. She did lose her top to make sure the crowd paid proper attention. Another big pleasure was a photo booth set up. All night people struck triple posers that sometimes looked like a session for a Vivid Video cover. Here’s a behind the angle of Sunny Lane (the blond) and Jayla Conrad (blue hair).

Singing in the background is Sadie Lee. She was my karaoke buddy from the previous night. Dennis’ big birthday bash was all about bodies bumping into bodies without much complaining. There was body painting with no reservations as women completely stripped down to get the paint sprayed everywhere. Bailey only wanted a pair of wings painted on her back to give her more of angelic feel.

There were odd stars lurking at the party and strange dream-like resist the buffet since it featured Moon Piesuldn’igning breasts and eating at Leia outfit. te Bunny Ranch. Dennis also our Emmoments like when I’m standing with two people who have had their lives turned into supporting characters in Milos Foreman movies. They had been consumed into the faces of Paul Giamatti and Crispin Glover. I felt left out. Perhaps someday soon Milos will make a movie about Dennis Hof. Ryan Gosling will play me as the plucky internet columnist who brings his pregnant wife to the Bunny Ranch on their wedding anniversary. Although with my luck it’ll be Kevin James. For the love of God, don’t let Milos cast Tyler Perry as me. The after party back at the Bunny Ranch was even more exciting. You’d wonder when familiar faces disappeared if they’d gone to the bathroom or were enjoying an even more intimate after party. When you party in a bordello, anyone can get lucky at any time. This was better than being at the prom with a gallon of Jack Daniels and a canister of nitrus. The big fun came as I sat on the front porch with Mr. Dan Haggerty. He was the star of The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams which was a childhood favorite. He has a sideline marrying couples at the Bunny Ranch. He’s tied the knot on over 200 parties with only one divorce. His big shocker of the night was telling us that he’d had a one night stand with Phyllis Diller. That’s right, Grizzly Adams hooked up with Fang’s Wife. You want details?

He was on a talkshow with Barbi Benton (Playboy After Dark and Phyllis Diller. Barbi had just broken up with Hugh Hefner. After the show, Haggerty joked that he’d love to hook up with Barbi, but he was heading home with Phyllis. The couple did head out. She mused, “Fang, if you could see me now.” The comic star did have a major request for their romp. “Now you do me a favor Danny,” she asked. “What’s that?” Dan responded. “Let me lay on the bottom so the wrinkles around my eyes disappear behind my ears.” She cared about Dan’s image as well. “Don’t you worry about a thing,” she said. “I’ll go out the fire escape not to ruin your career.” “Are you kidding, this will be the best thing that ever happened to me,” Dan declared. The moment has not faded from Dan’s memory since each year an event brings it all back. “Every time I look at a Thanksgiving turkey on the table and those little white pompoms on the end of their legs, I remember her feet sticking in the air. Oh my God, is this going to be with me forever?” He laughed. He also told this story on the Dennis’ Bunnyranch U-stream so you can hear his proper infection (http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/26134348).

The afterparty kept going with guests mingling with clients showing up to party with the on-duty Bunnies. The strange feeling is that at that moment guys in New York City and around Maine are living in panic that their names will be revealed by the Soccer Madame and Zumba Hooker. Yet there we were sitting on the front porch of a brightly lit brothel without a care about being frogwalked by the cops and branded by shameful New York Post headlines. Dennis Hof has created a sanctuary on the outskirts of Carson City where people buy a t-shirt to let the neighbors know where they’ve been. It’s a Carnal Disneyworld where after your ride, you exit through the giftshop. Unlike a strip club, there’s no harsh rules enforced on the wall. Nearly any pleasure can be negotiated. It’s like a world outside the norm that’s been inflicted upon us by puritanical media empires. Maybe it was the elevation, lack of sleep and a steady diet of Jack and Cokes, but things got really like a dream when I heard, “Hey Joe!” I turned around and it was Joey Buttafuoco. The man from the Amy Fisher controversy who has had at least four actors play him (including Kevin Spacey in American Beauty). Why does Joey Buttafuoco know my name? It took a second to remember our meeting at the start of the party. Why wouldn’t he remember my name since we’re both Joes. He was a nice enough guy. He was extremely happy to be there since he had a near death experience last year. Did he really survive? It was hard to tell since Dennis Hof’s birthday’s like an afterlife experience.

There was a Sunday pool party to wrap up the festivities. Since the Party Favors headquarters is on the East Coast, I could only attend the first scheduled hour. When I arrived back at the Bunny Ranch, the place was quiet as a church on Monday morning. Only thing you could hear was Ron Jeremy’s snore rattling around the hallways. Everyone was still recovering from the After Party. The pool was empty. The debauchery was taking a break. I wandered back to the lobby to sit on the sofa and wait for my limo ride back to normality. A tired bunny wandered into the room. We started talking a little bit and she fell asleep against me. I was part of “The Pillow Experience.” This led me to wonder if I’m supposed to be the one charging? Should I have called Madame Suzette to set the egg timer?
Can it really be another year before Dennis Hof has another birthday? That might be enough time to start my Odious Maximus Hedgefund.

GRIZZLY ADAMS

Even with whirlwind of fun, the coolest thing was getting to spend a little time with Dan Haggerty. The bearded icon had no idea that Timeless Media was about to put out The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams: Season One on November 6. The DVD boxset has the first 13 episodes of the TV series about James “Grizzly” Adams. He’s a man falsely accused of murder so he takes to the frontier to maintain his freedom. He’s a nice guy and pals with Mad Jack (Dukes of Hazzard‘s Denver Pyle). His big thing is his friendship with a Grizzly Bear named Ben. The boxset doesn’t include the original movie The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams that was released in 1974. The show came out in the spring of 1977 on NBC. But don’t feel left out since the intro contains clips from the film.

Turns out that Grizzly Adams was the original Back to the Future. The entire movie had been shot with a different actor as Grizzly. Sunn Classics didn’t feel good about the project and shelved it. Haggerty at the time was major animal trainer. He handled the wildlife on Ron Ely’s Tarzan series. He was working on another project for Sunn Classics when an executive saw him on screen and and declared Haggerty was their Grizzly Adams. He proposed a deal with Haggerty to reshoot part of the film for a miniscule budget so that they could save the project. Dan agreed and the film became a major hit. The movie grossed hundreds of millions all around the world. Dan received $5,000 and his bear pulled in $3,000. There would be no bonus check. But at least Dan and the bear got work when the network wanted to turn the movie into a weekly series. The series was family oriented with tales of the mountain man and his bear buddy. Even now this show is family entertainment with its mixture of western tales and cute animals as told by Denver Pyle. The first season had a few famous faces wander into the wilderness. Ken Berry, Charles Martin Smith, Slim Pickens and Norman Fell venture out to the mountains. Best is seeing Norman Fell acting against the bear as if it’s Mrs. Roper or John Ritter. Shame Fell didn’t get to work with more animals.

The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams: Season One holds up even with its slower pacing. It’s fine family viewing when you want to calm down the room. Haggerty is extremely charming as the wilderness legend. The bear’s acting is amazing. The two are a memorable duo. For those wondering about the bear, Haggerty said that when Ben turned 30, he lost his teeth. In the animal world, this is soon followed by the bear dying. Haggerty had a dentist pal cap the bear’s teeth so that he lived 3 more years before succumbing to cancer. If you ever consider getting married at a bordello, make sure Dan Haggerty does the hitching.

E.T. GETS WAXED

If you ever wanted to do the bike pose with E.T., you’re in luck. Here’s a video clip from Madame Tussauds Hollywood wax museum about their new exhibit celebrating the 30th anniversary Blu-ray. I’m more impressed that they put back the shotguns after they had been CGIed into batons for the 20th anniversary DVD. The cool thing is you can climb on the bike and pedal pose with the alien. Remember to bring your best red hoodie.

RAZZIE WATCH

Once again it looks like we’ll have a double winner for Worst Actor and Worst Actress at the Razzies except it’ll be two different films with the same bad performer. They just need to rename this year’s ceremony “Tyler Perry’s Razzie Awards.” He’s been lucky over the years not winning worst actress for his legendary Medea character. But this year is his as a her year. Why? Because he’s got the worst actor locked down for being Alex Cross in Alex Cross. How can voters not go for the ticket of double Tyler Perry with Alex Cross and Tyler Perry’s Medea’s Witness Protection? It’s got to hurt biological actresses knowing that they are still getting edged out of bad cinema by guys. Blame it on Shakespeare from when he wrote Tyler Perry’s Merry Wives of Windsor.

DVD SHELF

Streets of San Francisco Season 5, Volume 1 & Volume 2 wraps up a fine cop show that was shot on location and not a Hollywood backlot. This was the season of a major change. Michael Douglas had won the Best Picture Oscar for producing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He didn’t need to play sidekick to Karl Malden anymore. But he didn’t flee the scene like Laurence Fishburne on CSI. He stuck around for the opening season two-parter “The Thrill Killers.” This film introduced Inspector Dan Robbins played by Richard Hatch. The trio must crack a major case when a domestic terrorist group kidnaps the jury seated for the trial of their leader. They busted open the guest star budget with Norman Fell (The Ropers), James Hong, Ron Glass, Dick Van Patten, Patty Duke and Joseph Wiseman (Dr. No). The middle cliffhanger has Michael Douglas shot by Susan Dey (The Partridge Family). At the end of this special Douglas decides he needs to change careers. This leaves Malden and Hatch pulling the weight. “No Minor Vices” makes Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch) a teen hooker with a homicidal dad. “Hot Dog” has Don Johnson as a cop long before Nash Bridges. “Innocent No More” transforms Mark Hamill (Star Wars into a bad boy. The big thrill of the season is “Dead Lift.” Arnold Schwarzenegger is a muscle guy who suffers major cases of roid rage. He’s pumping iron and crushing bones. Even with a rather fine season, the audience dropped with the change from Douglas to Hatch. Things didn’t go too bad for Richard Hatch since he immediately snagged the role of Apollo on Battlestar Galactica. This has allowed him to be a busy guy on the Science Fiction Convention circuit. Karl maintained the persona of Lt. Stone when he reminded us to not leave home without American Express Travelers Checks. You can buy both volumes as a bundle for a discounted price.

Perry Mason, Season 7, Volume 2 packs up another 15 cases of legal thrills. Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) is back on his game after blowing that one case in Volume 1. What’s the secret of Perry’s business? People come in for a minor legal issue and leave needing the top dollar homicide defense. “The Case of the Ice-Cold Hands” seems minor when Joyce Bulifant (Match Game ’75) hires Perry to hold onto race track bets. If the horse comes in Perry has to collect the winnings. The longshot comes true except Perry’s pick up gets complicated with someone claiming the betting money was stolen. The accuser turns up dead and now Joyce has to get Perry’s upgrade package. “The Case of the Bountiful Beauty” squeezes Ryan O’Neal between his girlfriend and stepmom. Turns out the girlfriend has written a bestseller about the stepmom. She’s not happy at being a semi-fictional character. She feels worse when she turns up a corpse. NCIS fans will get a thrill to see David McCallum in “The Case of the Fifty Millionth Frenchman.” There’s murder at a Shakespeare company in “The Case of Simple Simon.” Trouble must be there since Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut) is in the middle of it. Speaking of Batman, “The Case of the Drifting Dropout” features Neil Hamilton. This is another fine legal outing that’s more exciting than Judge Judy. Fans will also be relieved knowing that the two volumes of Season 8 are scheduled to come out in November and January instead of a year from now.

All In the Family: The Complete Series contains the wisdom of Archie Bunker (Carrol O’Connor) over the course of 208 episodes that aired over 9 seasons. My dad worshipped Archie Bunker. We weren’t quite sure if he got the joke that Archie wasn’t right all the time. Archie was the blue collar soul of the not so quiet majority that put Nixon back in office. He lived in Queens, NY. His wife Edith (Jean Stapleton) was a ball of energy as she tried to keep stability in the house. What could rock Archie’s world? For starters there’s his daughter Gloria (Sally Struthers) and her radical husband Meathead (Rob Reiner). Archie and Meathead constantly feuded about current events. Archie had a slight advantage since Meathead was living in his house. But that didn’t mean Archie won anything with his bigoted view of the changing world. The amazing thing is that the arguments between Archie and Meathead aren’t things of the past. They argue about race, religion, politicians and how America needs to go back to when things were just right. Archie could easily host a talkradio show after Rush Limbaugh and nobody would know he was talking to the callers from 1971. Rush Limbaugh’s entire schtick is stolen from Archie except there’s no Meathead to prove him wrong. And Archie reminded Meathead that his most idealistic beliefs weren’t going to work in the real world.

The series spawned several spin-offs including Maude, The Jeffersons and Good Times. It’s responsible for most of Antenna TV’s programming. Even when it went off the air, Archie Bunker couldn’t be stopped. Archie Bunker’s Place lasted 4 more seasons. The character wasn’t some made up creature. He was part of America. He’s the guy who calls up radio stations to set things right.

Here’s a bit from when Sammy Davis Jr. dropped by the house. This is one of my favorite Sammy acting gigs along with Ocean’s 11 and Cannonball Run. The stunned look on Sammy’s face after Archie lays down science is immortal.

The big thing for the All In the Family: The Complete Series is a bonus disc with several elements that fans have been clamoring to see. Even though this was a major hit from the start, Norman Lear had to make two pilots to finally get the green light from CBS. Both pilots are here. Both had different actors for Gloria and Meathead. It’s basically the same script as “Meet the Bunkers.” They toned down the hippie look of Meathead and Gloria. They also include the pilots for Gloria, Archie Bunker’s Place and 704 Hauser. The last was a ’90s attempt to flip the show with a black family now living in Archie’s domain. There are two documentaries featuring Norman Lear discussing the birth, life and impact of All In the Family. Maybe the biggest lesson of the show was that Archie Bunker is never going to go away. He’s still on TV as Bill O’Reilly. This boxset is sitcom nirvana.

Fantasy Island: The Complete Third Season brings us the time when Tattoo (Hervé Villechaize) got his mini-car. He was truly the mini-Mr. Rourke (Ricardo Montalban) in 1979. Why isn’t this show on at least Antenna TV on Saturday nights? Doesn’t matter now since Shout! Factory has given us more tropical goodness on DVD. Each Saturday two stars arrived via seaplane to have their deepest fantasy lived. While Mr. Rourke fulfills their desires, he gives them true insight into their own lives. “Hit Man / The Swimmer” has David Doyle (Bosley on Happy Days) wanting to be killed so his family can collect the insurance. Eve Plumb (The Brady Bunch) gets dramatic as a paralyzed swimmer who had Olympic dreams. Peter Graves (Mission: Impossible) is the dad who wants to give her working legs. Gail Fisher (Mannix) might be the doctor of their dreams. “Goose for the Gander / The Stuntman” brings Abe Vigoda (Barney Miller) to the land of smiles. “Tattoo: the Love God / Magnolia Blossoms” lets the little guy get to be a customer. He wants to be a stud, but Mr. Rourke changes it up on his sidekick. “The Red Baron / Young at Heart” sticks Don Adams (Get Smart) in the cockpit as he battles the World War I legend of the air (Tarzan‘s Ron Ely). Can you believe he misses him by this much? “The Wedding” is Mr. Roarke’s big day. But can he really trust his bride to be? “The Dancer / Nobody’s There” makes Max Baer as rich as Uncle Jed. “My Fair Pharaoh / The Power” transports Joan Collins (Dynasty) to ancient Egypt. I hope she doesn’t run into her teenage self. Fans of the Beach Party movies will be excited with two episodes. Frankie Avalon stars in “The Swinger / Terrors of the Mind.” Annette Funicello throws her voice in “Jungle Man / Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate.” Fantasy Island is classic ’70s kitsch with notable faces in freakish places. This is must see TV on a chilly Saturday night.

The Ernie Kovacs Collection: Volume 2 brings more goodness from the original innovator of TV comedy. Ernie Kovacs might have died in 1962, but he pushed the boundaries of TV into the 21st century. There’s more great weirdness in his vault that’s been brought to DVD. Volume 2 starts off with 8 episodes from his NBC Morning Show. This is the bar that Conan O’Brien and David Letterman wish to achieve on their shows. Ernie must have been a great shock for mothers looking to sit back after sending the husband to work and the kids to school. It seemed that Ernie’s prime crowd were kids skipping school. Bonus features include 18 sketches from the morning show including the immortal Percy Dovetonsils. Three episodes of his game show Take A Good Look are a blast. Ernie would have a mystery guest and a panel of three stars guessed the guest’s accomplishment. Besides asking questions, Ernie had made video clues as tips. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to get a hint with the surreal snippets. If Salvador Dali had made a game show, Ernie would sue Dali because this is that show. This show is addictive if only for the way Ernie tortures his celebrity panel. If you order directly from Shoutfactory.com, they’ll throw in Ernie Kovacs: Take A Good Look. with seven more episodes of Ernie’s legendary game show. He created a show that rates up with Groucho Marx’s You Bet Your Life. “A Pony For Chris” is the pilot he made for a series that starred Buster Keaton. Here were two brilliant men that pushed film and TV for greater comic effect working together. “The Lively Arts” is a rare interview with Ernie. From the present day is the panel at the American Cinematheque that celebrated the release of Volume One. I’ll be interviewing Josh Mills about this collection in the next Party Favors. Order this set now from Shout! Factory so you can follow along with our conversation about Ernie and the effort to put him on a postage stamp.

Peter Gunn: The Complete Series gathers together all 114 episodes from the three seasons. The series introduced the cool detective to America in 1958. Peter Gunn was the first private eye with a major theme song. Henry Mancini’s jazzy beat made Peter a smooth and slick character that could dish out the pain while exposing the truth. Craig Stevens played the Peter Gunn with a crisp laid back style that makes him the patron saint of Don Draper on Mad Men. He wasn’t flashy or fast talking when he took a case. He used his connections just right to crack a secret. He was Mannix‘s old man. His office was a jazz nightclub called Mother’s. He had a mobile phone in his Plymouth Fury convertible before Dan Tanna cruised the Vegas Strip. The black and white show had a classic noir feel yet didn’t dig deep into nostalgia. Gunn wasn’t trying to relieve the life of Sam Spade. He embraced the now of the late ’50s in his style and taste. He didn’t look like a cheap detective. He resembled his professional price. The show was only 30 minutes long so Peter doesn’t have too much time to run around on wild goose chases. He is serious in getting his client’s case finished. “The Kill” has a gang going against the owner of Mother’s. Peter doesn’t appreciate his office getting threatened. He goes after Gavin MacLeod (The Love Boat) to stop this nonsense. “The Man With the Scar” has Roy Thinnes (The Invaders) involved in a strangling. Billy Barty (Sigmund and the Sea Monsters) has a brief role. “The Fuse” has a mobster hire Gunn to find the real killer since he’s too much of a suspect. Ross Martin (The Wild Wild West) used this role to land Mr. Lucky, also created by Blake Edwards. James Hong (Kung Fu Panda) appears in “Lady Windbell’s Fan.” “A Kill and a Half” gives us Norman Fell (Ocean’s 11 and Billy Barty. In my area ME-TV doesn’t run Peter Gunn until the wee hours of the night. Peter Gunn: The Complete Series allows me to watch the noir action without falling asleep. As a bonus, they’ve included the soundtrack CD featuring Mancini’s other notes for the show. You can now watch and hear the coolness of the Gunn.

Warren Miller’s …Like There’s No Tomorrow is a stunning extreme skilling film that might cause you to break your leg is you duplicate the moves in your living room. The action is shot all over the world featuring Chris Davenport, Julia Mancuso, Daron Rahlves, Colby West and Seth Wescott on skis. They tackle slopes at New Hampshire’s Mount Washington, formerly the world’s nastiest weather spot. They hit the highs on both hemispheres with Himalayas action in Gulmarg, India and Portillo, Chile. There’s also creative stops in California, Alaska, Utah, Colorado, New Zealand and Norway. This is like a Jock Rock primer for packed powder season. This video should be blasting on the wide screen as you get the skis in slope ready condition even if you’re only going to tackle the bunny slope.

Nazi Collaborators is a 13 part series that explores what sort of people had no qualms making deals with Hitler. Why would “good” organizations find common ground with the German war machine? How could they turn a blind eye when their citizens are thrown on trains and sent off to death camps? Can organizations that you think are kind hearted today do something as foolish as those who saw Hitler as not that bad of a guy? Nazi Collaborators touches upon these issues that might have you staying up extra late in a paranoid stupor. We want to act like we’re beyond this mindset, but we live in a time when media figures defended a murdering and mutilating madman because his group worked “Christian” into their name. The 13 episodes include “Rumkowski and the Polish Jewish Ghetto,” “Laval and French Vichy Government,” “Arajs and the Latvian Holocaust,” “Degrelle and the Belgian SS,” “Sakic and the Croatian Concentration Camps,” “Quisling and the Puppet Norwegian Nazis,” “Sean Russell and the IRA,” “The Grand Mufti and Jerusalem Collaboration,” “German Mischlinge – Jews that supported Hitler,” “Rallis and the Greek Puppet Government,” “Mussert – “Shadow Fuehrer” of Holland,” “Nevanlinna – The Finnish Collaborator” and “The Schutzmannschaft Killing Squads.” The series originally ran on The Military Channel and is extremely important to watch if you lack the digital tier on the cable box.

ALEXANDRIA, VA – Most people get excited when they get one book published. Madelyn Rosenberg recently got to celebrate two illustrated books hitting the shelves. The Schmutzy Family and Happy Birthday, Tree! A Tu B’Shevat Story explain Jewish holidays to small kids. The Schmutzy Family (illustrated by Paul Meisel) is about a messy family that deserves their own TLC series. They have no restraint when it comes to turning their house into a disaster zone. But there’s one thing that gets them cleaned up. Happy Birthday, Tree!: A Tu B’Shevat Story (illustrated by Jana Christy) features a little girl wanting to make her favorite tree happy.

I’ve known Madelyn since we worked together at NC State’s Technician student newspaper. It’s fun to finally have a classmate involved in something that I can share with my kid (unlike Eastbound and Down which will not be shown until the kid hits 40). I dropped Madelyn a few questions about her new tomes.

Party Favors: What’s it like to have two children’s books in production at the same time?

Madelyn: This has been a long time in coming so I mostly feel relieved, actually. Relieved and lucky. And the two have a lot in common, so it’s easy to market them together.

Party Favors: Did you ever get the illustrators confused as to which one was working on which book?

Madelyn: Nope – if you were hoping for an episode of the Patty Duke show, that didn’t happen. I was confused for a while about which book would come out first, though. And they ended up being officially released on the same day.

Party Favors: Are any of your relatives upset that you think they’re The Schmutzy Family?

Madelyn: My brother has been disavowing any similarities (although that book is actually loosely based on a few stories from when we were kids). But I think most members of my family know that the only finger I’m pointing is at myself.

Party Favors: Have you heard from any families really named Schmutzy?

Madelyn: No, although I have a friend who was a member of a Zionist youth movement called HaShomer HaTzair and they used “Schmutznik” as a nickname. I think they considered themselves a family of a sort.

Party Favors: What did you tell Paul Meisel about the mess he had to depict in the pages?

Madelyn: Not much. I did have a few art notes in the original manuscript, though I’m not sure how many the editor kept when she sent the manuscript on to Paul. I will say that I originally thought of Irving as a cat, because I have cats and doing anything to a cat that the cat doesn’t want done is bound to result in a mess. And pain. But Paul is a big dog person, so he naturally saw Irving as a dog, and now I can’t imagine that image any other way. One interesting note about this industry: they often keep illustrators and writers separate, so we don’t talk much – a collaboration, but from a vast distance. I can’t say I always agree with that, but I respect it, and hopefully it gives the illustrators freedom to do their magic.

Party Favors: Do you get to keep any of the art to frame for the living room?

Madelyn: No, but I’d love to. (I’d probably have to fund it by selling another book, though.)

Party Favors: Are your kids using “The Schmutzy Family” as an excuse to mess up the house?

Madelyn: Yes. And I’m trying to use it to get us to clean up together in a way that’s a little more fun. (I admit, there’s just so much fun you can have with a toilet brush.)

Party Favors: How did you celebrate Tu B’Shevat before you started working on “Happy Birthday, Tree?”

Madelyn: We started celebrating it when my kids were in preschool with a Tu B’Shevat seder, and it quickly became one of my favorite holidays. When I was a kid I think we just ate dates.

Party Favors: When is the holiday in 2013?

Madelyn: January 25th.

Party Favors: Do you hope to make Tu B’Shevat a bigger holiday than Talk Like A Pirate Day?

Madelyn: Why not? It’s already becoming a much bigger holiday than it used to be, with so much awareness about trees, caring for the earth, and global warming.

Party Favors: How many trees do you have in your yard?

Madelyn: Eighteen, not counting shrubs. We have a good variety because the people who lived here before us were huge gardeners and chose their trees carefully: tulip magnolia, crepe myrtle, smoke tree, Chinese golden rain tree. We also have one Mr. White called “a rubbish tree” because he planted it to hide rubbish/lawnmowers/etc.

Party Favors: How many times did your kids have to hear the stories before you sent them off to a publisher?

Madelyn: More than a dozen.

Party Favors: Are the kids good copyeditors?

Madelyn: They’re good editors and good copyeditors. I’ve trusted them since the first time my son gave me a fake laugh because he didn’t want me to feel badly about a manuscript that only I, apparently, thought was funny. (He was right.) My daughter is good at knowing when a sentence needs an extra beat in it. And she is quite pleased that her souvenir swan makes an appearance in Happy Birthday, Tree.

Party Favors: Have you put up a website or video that explains how to pronounce the more complicated of words?

Madelyn: Uh, no. I’ll add it to the list.

Party Favors: Are you frightened that someday your books will be turned into feature films with musical numbers?

Madelyn: Musicals haven’t frightened me since I discovered Elvis.

Party Favors: Does society treat you differently now that you’re a children’s book author?

Madelyn: Nope. In other places I’ve lived, I could have said “I’m working on a book,” and people might have said, “cool.” Here, outside of D.C., if I say, “I’m working on a book,” they say, “Oh, yeah, me, too. Also, I just shot baskets with Barack Obama.” My kids’ barber authored a book on the lost amusement parks of Missouri. The lawyer around the corner authored a chapter of The Economics of Beer. The list goes on and on.

Party Favors: Do librarians slip you their manuscripts?

Madelyn: (See previous answer.)

Party Favors: Are you going to work on more illustrated children’s books or do you wish to write without pictures?

Madelyn: I’m working on more picture books, and on a few books that will have no illustrations. I have a middle-grade novel coming out in the spring that does have illustrations, though I haven’t seen them yet. I should add that I see images in my brain when I write anything – even articles or answers to interview questions.

PLUG ME

Remember this holiday season to get the loved on in your life a copy of The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters. Hooters waitresses might need them soon.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

NBC is rerunning Spout shows on Saturday mornings between 8 hours of the Today Show and college football games. This is fine, but why are they showing The Pajanimals at 10:30 a.m.? This is a great show for parents when it airs at 8 p.m. on Sprout. The whole point of the show is muppets put on pajamas, brush their teeth and go to bed. That’s perfect for bedtime. But 10:30 a.m. is the time a child gets told, “You’re not going to sit around in your pajamas watching TV all day!” It’s mixed messages. On the positive side, if you don’t have Sprout, you should record Pajanimals and play it for them right before bedtime.

CHRISTMAS IN NOVEMBER

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Ella Enchanted made Anne Hathaway a fairy tale figure back in 2004. At birth she was cursed by her fairy godmother with a spell that made her super obedient. This meant she’ll follow any instruction without hesitating. She does her best to track down the fairy to give her back this lamest of “gifts.” Her only true companion is a talking book with all the powers of an iPad. She also has to save a prince without being told conflicting instructions. It’s a cute film with plenty of fairytale creatures encountered on her journey. Anne is so magical in the title role which explains why this film has gained a cult audience over the years. This is the perfect little film for a lazy Fall afternoon on the widescreen. Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) gets to return to the magical realm of cinema. The Blu-ray resolution brings out the joy in Anne’s smile and huge eyes. The big bonus feature is a DVD of the movie.

Everybody’s Fine is a holiday season tradition right after we watch Taxi Driver. Robert DeNiro is recently widowed and discovers that it was his wife that held together the family. When none of them want to visit him, he hits the road to connect with his kids. Turns out they viewed him as Robert DeNiro character. His kids include Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell and Drew Barrymore. They’ve at least gone onto rather successful careers so he didn’t completely break their will to live. The film is a remake of a Marcello Mastroianni flick. As kind as DeNiro seems to be, there’s a fear that he’s tracking down his offspring to plant bugs on them or just make them disappear. Although DeNiro does his best to not merely play DeNiro as a dad. The big bonus on the Blu-ray is behind the scenes footage of Paul McCartney’ “(I Want To) Come Home.”

DVD SHELF

Mad Men: Season Five is a difficult time for Don Draper (Jon Ham). He can’t quite transform himself to fit the times. Things are changing in 1966 as the youth revolt takes seed. Fashion is moving forward with more risks. His collection of suits and ties are looking played out. His company is on the cusp of either failing or becoming as big as they were. Draper’s biggest problem is that he no longer has his secret identity. His new wife Megan (Jessica Pare) knows about Dick Whitman. She’s become a perfect wife and co-worker since she helps Don at sales meetings as the wife who gets it. But he’s fears that he made a major mistake since she wants to return to acting. The other folks in creative are bitter about Megan’s rise. Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) is unsure what to think of Don and starts hearing offers from other agencies. Joan Harris (Christina Hendricks) truly takes on for the team to land a car account, but she gets a high price for her service. Roger Sterling (John Slattery) drops LSD and changes his perspective on life. He doesn’t just want to be Roger anymore. Everything is in flux for Don. He’s not sure what form he can take to deal with the perfect life he craves. Can he maintain the perfect façade for business or will he become a burn out refuge of Madison Avenue? The only thing that gives him relief is that his ex-wife (January Jones) has gained a lot of weight. That’s one less problem holding him down. Fans of Jared Harris will be a little disappointed. This is not a defenestration season. The boxset has a ton of bonus features including the Newsweek magazine covers from 1966 and a piece on the first Daylight Savings Time. Mad Men remains one of the premiere shows on the TV dial. The big highlight of the season happened in the first episode when Megan broke out the French pop as part of a party for Don.

90210: The Fourth Season brings the next generation from West Beverly High to California University just like the original kids. Except these new breed had a whole lot more issues during this transition period. Naomi (Nip/Tuck‘s AnnLynne McCord) has the roughest time since she’s lost all her power as the queen bee. Nobody cares what you were in high school unless you’re the freshman star on the football team. She’s got to struggle to find a place where he sinister talents are recognized instead of being ignored amongst the masses. She ends up going to a sorority to once more have a flock under her power. But does that really work with older girls that don’t need to be trapped in the same homeroom? Dixon gets his recording career back on track to the point where he gets an offer to do a movie soundtrack. But his old vices creep into the studio. Can he resist? Raj keeps on dying. Liam has a shot at male model stardom. Janice Dickenson does a guest shot to remind us that Tyra didn’t kill her at the end of America’s Next Top Model. The big ending for the season has Naomi getting hitched. Or will it all implode at the last minute since this is a soap opera? At least by going beyond a 4th Season, 90210 has escaped the high school curse. The bonus features include tours of all the major sets including the bar and new student center.

Bonanza: The Official Fourth Season, Volume 1 & Volume 2 takes us back out to the Ponderosa for another visit with the powerful Cartwright clan. Ben (Lorne Greene), Hoss (Dan Blocker), Adam (Pernell Roberts) and Little Joe (Michael Landon) take on all comers that want to dent their empire or hang them high. “The First Born” has a new ranch hand swear that his mama is also Little Joe’s mama. Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) wants to string up Hoss for a robber-murder In “A Hot Day for Hanging.” Because of the number of episodes they makes each season, there are a few solo adventures to let the other Cartwrights have a break. “The Way Station” sticks Adam at a stagecoach station with Robert Vaughn (The Helsinki Formula) and Dawn Wells (Gilligan’s Island). The most monumental episode is “The Decision.” Hoss is injured and only DeForest Kelley can save him. Bones from Star Trek must be a doctor to keep the big hat on the range. “The Saga of Whizzer McGee” will make you take a bathroom break. The bonus features include a Perry Como special with Lorne and Dan showing the audience how Bonanza is changed for the foreign markets. You can also see the original promos and openings on a few episodes. The new image looks better than the tapes being shown on the various cable channels.

The Lucy Show: Official Sixth and Final Season wraps up Lucille Ball’s time as Lucy Carmichael. The series had changed so much since starting as the tale of two single moms and their children in New York. But Vivian Vance left halfway through and the kids vanished. The show refocused to Lucy torturing banker Mr. Mooney (Gail Gordon) first as client and then as employee. For the sixth season, Lucy was constantly encountering celebrities to cause trouble in their lives. “Lucy Meets the Berles” has her confuse Milton rehearsing a love scene with Mr. Television having an affair. “Lucy and the Starmaker” scouts talent in the office when Frankie Avalon is forced to be a banker. Lucy can spot his real passion. “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” is another visit with the world’s greatest cheapskate. “Lucy and Robert Goulet” features a truck driver who looks like Robert Goulet played by Robert Goulet. “Lucy and Carol Burnett” gives the two episodes to cut each other up. Carol was about to launch her variety show. Vivian does return for two episodes. “Lucy and Viv Remember” has Viv care for an injured Lucy. More importantly is “Lucy and the Lost Star.” Lucy and Viv encounter Joan Crawford. Two major icons for the price of one episode. “Mooney’s Other Wife” hints that Mr. Mooney was hooked up with Edie Adams (Ernie Kovacs’ widow). This final season was #2 in the yearly rankings, but Lucy shut it down since she had sold Desilu to the company that owned Paramount. She didn’t want to work for a boss. She created Here’s Lucy and brought Gale Gordon along to be her tortured boss once more although now she was his sister-in-law. There are a lot of bonus features including Lucy winning the Emmy. It’s nice that all of The Lucy Show is on DVD since it doesn’t get the same airplay as I Love Lucy.

Gunsmoke: The Sixth Season, Volume 2 wraps up the 30 minute era of the long running western. This was the last time that the show would resemble the radio series with compact storytelling about Dodge City. Here are the 19 episodes that ended this part of the 20 season run. “Love Thy Neighbor” brings up a family feud over a sack of potatoes. Harry Dean Stanton, Ken Lynch (Green Acres) and Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) are part of the spud fight. “Kitty Shot” puts a bullet in Miss Kitty during a gun down. George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke) might be responsible. George returns for “Big Man” as a stalker following Miss Kitty. “Minnie” gives Doc an unwanted girlfriend. Alan Hale Jr. (Skipper on Gilligan’s Island) is part of the heart games. “The Love of Money” suspects Cloris Leachman (Mary Tyler Moore Show) as a cop killer. Can Marshall Dillon (James Arness) really bust Phyllis? The short times end with “Colorado Sheriff” with Matt investigating if a wounded man is really a deputy from Colorado looking for a robber in Dodge City. Strange to think there’s still 14 more seasons to go. The first 17 episodes of the hour long black and white version arrives on Dec. 11.

Care Bears: The Original Series Collection contains the animated adventures of fuzzy teddy bears with symbols on their belly. The series ran from 1985 to 1989. It’s hard to explain the joy of the series without a small child in the house. The bears are like the evolution of the Smurfs except more cuddly and less Smurfette. The Care Bears were a hot selling toy that needed to elaborate their roles via a TV show like G.I. Joes and Transformers except with less explosions. The bears live up in the clouds in a place named Care-a-Lot. That sounds pretty, but it gets warmer as part of the Kingdom of Caring. They battle Professor Coldheart and Lord No Heart with warmth. They prove that violence isn’t a solution. You got to hug it out. The boxes that has 64 episodes that ran during the ’80s. The topper is a feature length The Nutcracker. The movie is based on The Nutcracker Suite with a sad girl named Ana dealing with rats. Time to revive it as a holiday tradition.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates: Jake Saves Bucky contains the double length episode of the popular Disney Jr. series. Who is Bucky? Turns out it’s the name of Jake’s pirate ship. He must race the ship against Captain Hook’s Jolly Roger. The winner gets the pink slip of the other’s ship. Can Jake really win against a notorious cheater like Hook? He must get help from Peter Pan and a Dragon. The kid got excited watching this extended episode. This also means you shouldn’t think of putting it on right before bedtime. The disc also includes four other episodes: “Peter’s Musical Pipes/The Never Night Star,” “Captain Hook’s Hooks/Mr. Smee’s Pet,” “Race-Around Rock!/Captain Hook Is Missing” and “Captain Hook’s Lagoon/Undersea Bucky!” The show is squarely aimed at little kids although I’m really enjoying the singing pirates in their live action segments. There’s a Pirate-oke to get more of their swashbuckling swinging numbers. There’s also a disc with the cartoons set up for digital download. The most exciting thing inside the box is an inflatable pirate sword. I haven’t seen it since the kid forced me to blow it up.

Something Big stars Dean Martin in his favorite genre: the western. The film is from the end of his cinema career and it sort of follows that path. He’s an old time outlaw wanting to have one big thing go his way. He dreams of a Gatling gun in his hands. In order to achieve the firepower, he’s got to do a lot of little things including holding up a stagecoach and kidnapping. Brian Keith (Family Affair) is on his trail. There’s a lot of fine talent on the desert locations with Honor Blackman (Goldfinger), Ben Johnson (The Wild Bunch), Denver Pyle, Merlin Olsen and Harry Carey Jr. Dean has some fun with a touch of comedy as he gets serious about the big gun of his dreams. “Lucy and Carol Burnett” is a two parter done before Carol got her own series. “Lucy and Viv Reminisce” brings back Vivian Vance to nurse her pal. This duo gets upped in power on “Lucy and the Lost Star.” The girls meet Joan Crawford. Lucy and Joan is like a Logo series ready to happen. The show was #2 for the season, but had to come to an end. Why? Lucy had sold Desilu to Paramount and didn’t want to be an employee. She created a new production company and created Here’s Lucy. This gave her six more seasons to torture Gail Gordon. It is good to have all of The Lucy Show out on DVD since for some reason there’s a dozen cable channels showing I Love Lucy and none risking a slot on The Lucy Show. The DVD includes numerous bonus features including Lucy winning the Emmy.

The Cup is the true story of a family’s bad luck streak at being jockeys. Damien Oliver’s brother and dad died while racing in Australia. The brother was the favorite to win the Melbourne Cup (the Kentucky Derby of Down Under). Damien can’t let can’t be dissuaded to find a safer career. He needs to win for the sake of himself and his family. He gets help from a trainer (The General‘s Brendan Gleeson) to make sure he doesn’t follow in the family tradition. It’s an inspirational tale from Simon Wincher, the director of Free Willy. Wincer also made the equally entertaining Phar Lap about a famous Australian race horse than died mysteriously in Mexico. Shame his earlier film isn’t out since it would make a great double feature with The Cup.

Mancation: Unrated is another classic entry into the oeuvre of Joey Fatone. Matt Kawczynski is brown nosing his way up the corporate ladder. After he marries the Boss’ daughter, he should be on easy street. Except it all goes horribly wrong when he goes home early to surprise his bride. Unfortunately he surprises his bride and the maid of honor doing something less than honorable. The best part about the unrated nature is that you don’t have to guess what they’re doing in front of the horrified groom. In the midst of his crash, it’s up to Joey Fatone to pick him up and take him to Atlantic City for a Mancation. Who is waiting for him in the Boardwalk destination is Danica McKellar. He’s had a crush on her for a long time. Can he seal the deal and cleanse his soul of his sham marriage? He has an issue with two buddies who are beyond annoying. They get into fights with gang members and Russian freaks. This is where being unrated isn’t a great thing as we get to see a scene paying tribute to Scatman. Oh my eyes. Luckily there some Fatone to wash the images off the screen. Plus you can make plenty of jokes about Winnie Cooper. The big bonus feature is the uncut Bonerall commercial. Wonder if Fatone stole this role from Justin Timberlake?

Power Rangers Samurai: Christmas Together Friends Forever finally gives us a mini-marathon of Seasons Beatings. Three episodes on the DVD start with the recent “Christmas Together, Friends Forever.” Even on a sacred day, big monsters in rubber costumes will attack. Can’t Nighlok take a holiday? “I’m Dreaming of a White Power Ranger” has Santa’s workshop taken over by the evil Rito and the Tengu Warriors. They have a devious plan for what needs to go under the trees around the world. This special was from the third season of The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, “A Season to Remember” came from Power Rangers Zeo. Skull and Bulk must find a fruitcake bandit. Isn’t this a victimless crime? The three episodes should brighten your holiday season better than It’s a Wonderful Life.

BENTONVILLE, AR – Ever end a long conversation with the thought, “Why can’t I have that person sit next to me on a cross country plane flight? That’s what happened when I had the chance to talk to David Mirkin about his time as creator, producer, director and writer on Get A Life. The absurdist sitcom featured Chris Elliott as a 30 year old paperboy living above his parents’ garage. It turned out to be a vision of the 21st century with a generation of men-children dead ending themselves. However Chris looked good at it. There’s a review of the boxset deeper in the column. Let’s just focus on David Mirkin – the founder of Mirkinvision.

He started his career attempting to write for The Ropers. His spec script was rejected, but in a good twist, he ended up writing for Three’s Company. He was hanging with Don Knotts. Eventually this led to him working on Newhart, It’s Garry Shandling Show, The Larry Sanders Show and The Simpsons. He moved into filmmaking with Heartbreakers and Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. His current project is a Richard Branson biopic. He sees it as The Aviator without the jars of bodily fluid, but all the excitement. He’s also been making videos of James Taylor’s guitar lessons. Here’s how to play “Fire and Rain.”

During this part of the interview, I tell the story of the night I wouldn’t let James Taylor’s mom backstage at a concert. Contrary to the internet rumor, I did not say, “If your son loved you, he’d give you a laminated pass for Mother’s Day.”

Our conversation also delves into his working with Jackie Earle Haley on his attempt to Americanize The Young Ones. There’s plenty of weirdness to geek out on including an explanation of the Ediflex system, reuniting Damnation Alley and speculation of why Chris Elliott didn’t appear in any of the bonus features. Here’s the audio of a conversation that makes me wish it ended with a pilot saying, “Now ends the safest part of your day” and a fight for the overhead compartment bins.

SEVEN SECRETS FOR A GREAT JOB

My book is here! The reviews are out of control. “The Bleakest Business Book Ever Written.” “The Only Thing Between You and a Suicide Note.” “My Retirement Plan Between the Covers.”
What book could it possibly be that I’ve written to such raves? The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters is the tome of this critical times. What are the Seven Secrets? I’m not going to tell you for free. Donald Trump doesn’t get rich by letting you drink his vodka for free. I will assure you that these are real secrets for not only landing a job as a People Greeter, but survival skills for not letting the job destroy you.

The book is best when given as a gift to others.

-Brighten up a retiree’s last day at work when you remind him that his pension might not be enough to keep dogfood on his plate.
-Give it to a college student to let them know the worth of their degree.
– Pass it on to an employee who needs a fire lit under their ass before you pink slip them.
-Unleash it on a college coach that needs to get off the sidelines.
-Send it to a politician who needs to put his handshaking skills to work in a better venue.
-Use it as a textbook in advanced college copyediting courses.

You can order the paperback, or if you need to read it faster, there’s eBook on Kindle.

And now the commercial:

Enjoy the book and remember that each sale goes towards keeping me from becoming a People Greeter at Walmart.

COMEDY COMBO

If I only had one holiday wish, it would be for all the children of the Earth join together in song. If I could scrape up a second wish, it’d be for all the episodes of Get A Life to come out on DVD. If somehow a third wish was possible, then I’d beg for all the TV specials Steve Martin made back when he was really funny. If I can only get two wishes, let’s skip the kids and get those DVDs. But I don’t need to wish anymore because Shout! Factory made my shiny disc dreams come true. Guess the kids can get back to singing after they watch these boxsets.

Get A Life: The Complete Series, Non-Special Non-Anniversary Edition is extremely special boxset. After being teased by 8 of the 35 episodes coming out on DVD a decade ago, all the weirdness is here. The episodes have the original music including R.E.M.’s “Stand” theme song. There’s no excuse for fans of the show not snatching up this collection since the show was cut on video so there won’t be a 1080p Blu-ray anytime soon. Chris Elliott perfect the doughy slacker guy as Chris Peterson. He lives above his parents’ garage. His job is paperboy. He’s a major goofball. The show completely plays off his inability to see the world in reality. “Paperboy 2000” has him face off with the Landmaster from Damnation Alley (also available through Shout! Factory). He even faces off against Jackie Earle Haley (Damnation Alley and Watchmen) in “Chris Vs. Donald.” Why doesn’t Jackie get to really work his comedy chops in a sitcom where he manages a Hooters? “The Prettiest Week of My Life” puts Chris into the Handsome Boy Modeling School. He learns the ugly truth of the modeling game. “Chris Wins a Celebrity” makes Martin Mull the prize. America’s TV Princess Elinor Donahue discusses with Bob Elliott how to eliminate Mull from their house when he overstays his welcome. The second season moves Chris into Brian Doyle-Murray’s garage. The episodes get even more outrageous. “SPEWEY and Me” reworks E.T. if the alien wasn’t so sweet and had body fluid issues. “1977-2000” gives a Life on Mars vibe as Chris time travels to 1977 to keep Brian from taking a piss on the police captain. Chris learns the evils of changing the timeline. The bonus features lets most of the cast and crew to talk about the show. Chris Elliot didn’t participate although it’s hard to think if he could add much to the stories. This is brilliant TV that under normal TV circumstances would have been axed in the pilot script stage. This is the third “Show We Swore Would Never Get a Proper DVD Release” put out by Shout! Factory after The Larry Sanders Show and Max Headroom. But there’s also a fourth title for that list after this break:

Steve Martin: The Television Stuff brings together all the classic TV moments that made Steve Martin a legend. These were made in the era before normal folks owned VCRs. You were cool if you could stay up and watch Steve’s hour long specials. You bought his albums, Cruel Shoes book and “Best Fishes” poster, but the TV specials were only memories – except for the “Homage to Steve” concert VHS. Now they’re finally out on DVD. First up is the HBO comedy special from Halloween night back in 1976. Launched himself as mega-star that night. The weekend before he’d been the host on Saturday Night Live back when hosts didn’t have to be promoting a movie. The audience is into his comedy and banjo fun. The Fonz had a VIP table for the action. A lot of these routines found themselves on Let’s Get Small” and “Wild And Crazy Guy comedy records. What’s amazing is seeing how so many of the jokes were visual. For decades, it seemed like the audience was just high and laughing at silence. Steve Martin found a way to sell recordings of comedy juggling. “Steve Martin: A Wild and Crazy Guy” was his first primetime special on a network. The special isn’t complete since they removed his live comedy bits from the sketches. Don’t panic. The comedy bits are part of the complete Live at the Universal Amphitheatre. Steve rides a giant turtle and presents his version of a variety show. “Comedy Isn’t Pretty” is funnier than the album. We used to re-enact his Olympic diving sketch at the pool. “All Commercials” has him spoof the sponsors. Huggy Bear and Pee Wee Herman are part of the cast. There’s no commercial interruption for this airing. “The Best Show Ever” brings together many of the Not Ready For Primetime Players after they had quit SNL. The Festrunk Brother s strut their stuff at an art gallery. Steve taps with Gregory Hines. Bill Murray treats Steve as the Elephant Guy. I had confused this in my mind as a SNL episode. There are plenty of bonus bits that remind us that Steve isn’t always the guy cranking out Cheaper By the Pink Panther movies. Here are his best SNL routines from the post First Five era. The times he busted up Johnny Carson still are hilarious. He has a gay time with David Letterman. The only thing missing in the boxset are his 8 legendary hosting gigs during the first five seasons of Saturday Night Live. You can buy those separately. Steve Martin: The Television Stuff makes me want to put on bunny ears and make balloon animals. The specials are as glorious as I remember.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

G.I. Joe Renegades: The Complete First Season captures all 26 episodes about a world gone weird. Cobra is now considered the good guys since they’ve invested their evil profits in legitimate corporations. They provide all the products we enjoy. But G.I. Joe team knows there’s something evil about Cobra Industries. They sneak into Cobra Pharmaceuticals to get evidence. But the mission goes wrong and the government disowns the renegade Joes. Duke, Snake Eyes, Roadblock, Tunnel Rat and Ripcord now must battle both Cobra and the US Government. The only thing that can set them free is proof that Cobra is still out to dominate the world and not just at the supermarket. But can the Joes be trusted with the media turning against them? The show is a fine reworking of the GI Joe story with a touch of A-Team. This appears to be the only season. There is a bit of resolution in the final episode so you won’t feel like you’re completely hanging. The extra resolution of the 1080p Blu-ray brings out the details of the frame.

Hawaii Five-0: The Second Season is even more impressive than the freshman season. The show’s big focus remains the inner lives of the Five-0 force including the resolution of the cliffhanger when Steve McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) is sent to prison for killing the governor in “Ha’I’ole.” He can’t sit around in a cell hoping that a bumbling cop will uncover that Wo Fat was the real gunman. He busts out which gets him in trouble, but he needs help of his disbanded team. His big help this season is Terry O’Quinn (Lost) as his main teacher in the Navy. He hasn’t lost faith in his student. Wo Fat is played by Mark Dacascos. His name might not seem familiar, but he’s really the chairman on Iron Chef. He could have gotten away with the crime if the main dish was Hawaiian politician. One of the big running plot lines involves Tom Sizemore as a cop with his old crooked partner behind bars. Are they really on the outs? “Mea Makamae” brings Peter Fonda to the island. Easy Rider hits the water along with Patty Duke. Chuck Liddell plays himself once more in “Ka Hakaka Maika’i.” Why can’t he play Tito Ortiz? Crack open the drinks when Jimmy Buffett touches down on “Ki’ilua.” He’s like Glenn Fry was on Miami Vice. James Caan joins his son Scott Caan although not as Danno’s dad. He’s an ex-cop trying to find out who killed a DJ. They still have DJs worth killing is the shocker. The big finale involves the dirty dealings of Tom Sizemore and William Baldwin. There’s plenty of cop carnage in “Ua Hala.” The second season gets better with Masi Oka (Heroes) as part of the team. He’s a one man CSI. The high definition image brings out the colors of the islands. The 1080p turns your TV into a window to a paradise that’s full of kidnappers, killers, drug dealers and surfers. The big bonus is both episodes of the SSSSNCIS: Los Angeles crossover. LL Cool J never looked so tropical.

CSI FRENZY

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, The Twelfth Season brings Ted Danson into the mix. The bartender from Cheers is now experiencing more than spilled Bloody Marys. He plays D.B. Russell taking over for Laurence Fishburne. “73 Seconds” gives him a hot case when a hotel tram gets turned into the OK Corral. “Bittersweet” turns an art exhibition into unmarked grave. “Maid Man” ironically whacks the old mayor of Las Vegas at the mobster museum. “Willows in the Wind” brings to an end Marg Helgenberger’s run as Cathrine Willows. “Tressed to Kill” has a serial killer that keeps giving his victims makeovers. “Seeing Red” brings in Elizabeth Shue to be the new Marg. “CSI Unplugged” blacks out Vegas, but the crew must find a missing child in the darkness. “Malice in Wonderland” turns a theme wedding into a yellow tape zone. “Homecoming” cliffhangs the season when the sheriff gets investigated for his wife’s murder. Ted Danson comes off well running the unit. He’s quickly got his on quirky style for checking out the crime scene.

CSI: Miami, The Final Season is a bit of a shock since the rumor had always been that CSI:NY was going to killed first. But in a wicked twist, after 10 seasons, Horatio Caine (David Caruso) had to pack up his sunglasses. At least nobody is going to call him a quitter this time. He stuck it out for a decade of crime in the Everglades. The big hint of the ending came when CBS cut the contract back to 19 episodes. “Stiff” finally has the crew investigate the life of a gigolo. “Blown Away” messes up a crime scene with a tornado touching down. “By the Book” might have a vampire killer on the loose. A killer pops out his victim’s eyes on “Dead Ringer.” They suspect “The Taunter” is back in town. “Crowned” tackles the world of Toddlers and Tiaras. “Terminal Velocity” kills a skydiver. Turns out the guy has over a 100 kids and yet no series on TLC. “At Risk” murders a tennis coach. Won’t spoil if the autopsy reveals fuzzy balls. There’s several bonus features for this wrap up season. Strange to think that Joel McHale can no longer do his sunglass impersonation of Caruso anymore.

CSI:NY, The Eighth Season is the season Det. Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) and Det. Jo Danville (Sela Ward) didn’t have to investigate their demise. They dodged the cancelation bullet that took out CSI: Miami. The did have their season reduced to 18 episodes. “Indelible” depresses Mac as he remembers the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Robert Forester (Jackie Brown) guest stars. “Keep It Real” exposed the dark side of dating a punk rock girl. It can hurt like a double piercing of your privates. “Get Me Out of Here” is the Halloween special. A frat prank goes seriously wrong. Why don’t people leave empty graves alone? “Clean Sweep” kills a cage fighter. “Brooklyn ‘Til I Die” has a game gone bad. “Kill Screen” lets a video game tourney go bad. Is anyone suggesting the King of Kong is behind it? “Near Death” makes Mac fight for his life after taking a bullet. Can the team find his attacker or are they too close to the case? The bonus features include pieces on the heroes of 9/11 and Halloween in NYC.

DVD SHELF

Touched By An Angel: The Sixth Season captures the inspirational series during its Top 10 salad days. The sweet Roma Downey plays an angel named Monica that gives guidance and God’s memos to characters all over the globe. Della Reese is Tess, the angel district manager. “The Last Day of the Rest of Your Life” has Monica sit in with a support group for people with terminal conditions. Included in the meeting is Lenny Clarke (Rescue Me), Nancy McKeon (The Facts of Life) and super model Kathy Ireland. If this was on Showtime, I could easily guess Lenny’s last wish before departing. “The Occupant” guest stars a really young Shia LaBeouf (Transformers). “Voice of an Angel” scores major voices with Charlotte Church when she was a wee one and nSync with the Fatone and Justin Timberlake. “Then Sings My Soul” unites Louie Anderson, Keb’ Mo’ and Greg Evigan (BJ and the Bear). “The Christmas Gift” reunites a tense family for the holidays. Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee share time with Della Reese. “Millennium” frees Ann-Margret (Tommy) from a past love so she can enjoy the 21st Century. Break out the roasted chicken with Kenny Rogers in “Buy Me a Rose.” “Life Before Death” attempts to solve Ireland’s issues with an angel and Liam Neeson. “Here I Am” mixes Ed Asner (Lou Grant) with Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad). “Monica’s Bad Day” can be summed up with guest star Kathie Lee Gifford. At least she also has Howard Hessemen (WKRP and John Ratzenberger (Cheers) to level out the spunk. “Mother’s Day” reunites the Judds. “Pardora’s Box” packages Gary Cole and Evan Rachel Wood. “Touched By An Angel” was the kind of wholesome family fare that would run on TV before networks figured they could attract the same audience to karaoke competition shows.

The Lawless Years: The Complete Series is the east coast version of The Untouchables. These are the cases of legendary New York cop Barney Ruditsky who focused on busting gangsters around the Big Apple. The series started the same year as The Untouchables so it’s always lived in the shadow of Eliot Ness. If you’ve wondered what to watch after you’ve picked up all The Untouchables DVDs, this is it. The Lawless Years has the same era and mobster tone packed into a half an hour. What tightens up the story is that Ruditsky (James Gregory) recounts the cases. This allows him to compact the action and get to the good parts of the story. “The Nick Joseph Story” gives us another stellar performance by Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears). Vic heads a small gang that includes Harry Dean Stanton and Richard Bakalyan. They get noticed by the big mob and are subcontracted to perform hits. A young Burt Reynolds guest villains in “The Payoff.” “Lucky Silva” stars Martin Landau (Mission: Impossible) battling Legs Diamond. Harry Dean Stanton (Big Love) scratches in “The Poison Ivy Story.” He’s a favorite guest mobster. Vic Morrow returns for “Little Augie.” The series only lasted 45 episodes over two seasons. The interesting thing is that the first season is a sepia tone while the transfer on the second season is black and white. Both work for making the show fit its era. Gregory is perfect as Ruditsky. His role of Inspector Luger on Barney Miller makes more sense watching these shows.

The Carol Burnett Show: Carol’s Favorites is a 6 disc set from Time-Life’s Ultimate Carol Burnett Show. This contains 16 uncut episodes from the legendary variety show with major guest stars sharing stage time with Carol and her crew. “Show #1002” contains the hilarious “Went With the Wind!” sketch that put Bob Mackie to the test as he reworked Scarlet O’Hara’s curtain dress. “Show #1121” doubles up the guests with Betty White and Steve Martin. Steve performs comedy directed straight at dogs. Him and Carol spoof Close Encounters of the Third Kind on “As the Stomach Turns.” The big musical number is a tribute to the Beach Party films. Steve gets to do his best Frankie Avalon. The Jackson Five get funky on “Show #722.” See Michael Jackson with his original nose. There’s a double fright on “Show #814” with Joan Rivers and Vincent Price. This will scare you. “Show #817” teams Rock Hudson and Nancy Walker (director of Can’t Stop the Music) for the gags. Other guests on these episodes include Jim Nabors (Gomer Pyle), Phil Silvers (Sgt. Bilko), Ken Berry (F Troop), Pearl Bailey and Roddy McDowell. There are bonus features on this collection including a reunion of Carol with Vicki Lawrence, Tim Conway and Lyle Waggoner. There’s also another interview of Tim and Harvey Korman. This is a refreshing boxset that takes us back to a time when Saturday nights on network TV wasn’t reruns and college football games.

The Letter shocked me with the news that Winona Ryder is 40. How did this happen? Does this mean we’re all old? Remember when she was killing the Heathers, battling Beetlejuice and marrying Jerry Lee Lewis as a teen bride? Now she’s dealing with a nutty James Franco (Pineapple Express). She’s putting together a play staring her boyfriend Josh Hamilton (J. Edgar and not the Texas Rangers star). Among the cast is the freaky Franco. The man is out to mind freak the cast and crew. He wants to be the overly dramatic thespian that must push boundaries. He becomes her character or maybe she’s written him. It’s all freaking her out – almost as much as I’m freaking out thinking that she’s 40. The Letter shows that Winona can still hold a film and not perform supporting roles like in The Black Swan.

After Dusk They Come is another film that must be sponsored by the Travel Agents of America warning vacationers about going it alone. Instead of booking passage on a cruise ship, a bunch of folks charter a luxury yacht. Their plan is to get away from the tourists and visit an exotic island. They get taken off course, but find an island that seems suitable for their pleasure need. They can’t truly enjoy themselves since their rented boat wrecks. Things get even worse when they discover there are worse things than annoying tourists. Big nasty beasts roam the woods and they have no problem serving the vacationers as dinner. Can they get rescued before being served on the Captain’s Table? All this could have been prevented if they’d just gone with Royal Caribbean.

Whittle: The Jet Pioneer is an enthralling glimpse into the man who had to beat the Nazis in developing a working jet engine. Sir Frank Whittle had to work out all the parts so that the Allies didn’t merely fly up and quickly come down. He also had to battle the Royal Air Force to get them to accept the meaning of his invention. Even worse was his original patents for the jet engine wasn’t kept secret. The Nazis were using his research for the basis of their jet program. The documentary draws from an extensive interview with Whittle done before his death in 1996. He’s so charming recounting how things went down before his jet engine took off. The archival footage of the jet engine tests during World War II is thrilling. These were dangerous creations that needed to be tamed. The Nazis biggest problem was the engines failing after a few dozen hours in the air. The documentary shows how his early jet engines still work. The bonus features include 6 extra segments. A vintage educational film explains how Whittle’s engine works. There are even clips from a movie about Whittle made during the black and white era. This is a perfect gift for aviation enthusiast or just people who want to know how does my 737 get off the ground? This is the first DVD release from Shelter Island. They picked an extremely informative and entertaining title for their base.

Any Last Words? plays with the legend of Bat Masterson. Bat Masterson (Tom Lagleder) gets messed up bad during a battle with Indians. He’s taken on a spiritual journey of his life revisiting key moment in his past. He must decide to suck it up and get back in the fight or just give up the ghost. It’s kinda of a Western version of “A Christmas Carol?” except instead of being happy and buying a goose for Tiny Tim, Bat might get up and pump more led into attacking braves. Vaughn Taylor’s script and direction gives a gritty feel to the Old West setting.

The Revenant received a good buzz on the festival tour with its comic take on the undead turned vigilante crime fighters. David Anders (Vampire Diaries) gets killed while serving overseas in the military. They ship home his body for burial except he’s not ready to rest in peace. He rises from the grave to track down his buddy Chris Wylde. They conclude that he’s not a zombie, but a vampire. And he needs lots of blood to keep going. David learns the positive side of being undead is the inability to die. This makes him a bit of a superhero. Wylde doesn’t want to miss out on the fun. He gets turned into a creature of the night. But can the two remain pals in a soulless relationship? The bonus features include a commentary track from director Kerry Prior, deleted scenes and a documentary.

30 Beats is a tag movie. The New York City based semi-comedy follows characters as they trade off somewhat romantic experience. Some are more about no-strings sex while others want more than a quickie on a summer day. The cast features a few of my favorite cable TV folks. Jennifer Tilly (Bound) takes time away from the Poker table to get mystical about her desires. Justin Kirk (Weeds) gets a romantic challenge from his partner. Can he go through with it? Lee Pace (The Hobbit) grows a Miami Vice beard and still gets lucky. The big star for me is Paz de la Huerta (Boardwalk Empire). This tornado of joy pushes her boundaries and exposes her desires without much prompting. The end of the film makes sure that the circle is a complete daisy chain. You can watch it as part of Youtube’s movie rental.

VR Troopers: Season One, Volume One became a computerized companion to Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. Instead of high school kids, a trio of college age kids are given the powerful secret identity. Ryan is a martial arts master. J.B. is a computer programming geek. Kaitlin is a cub reporter. They all train at Tao’s Dojo. They hook up with a guy who tells them that virtual reality can take them into another dimension that has monsters. Turns out the monsters led by Grimlord wants to take over their dimension. The trio get cool fighting outfits for their battles with Grimlord and his minions. They kinda look like Ultraman’s cousins. The show took action scenes from the Japanese series Superhuman Machine Metalder, Dimensional Warrior Spielban and Space Sheriff Shaider. There’s plenty of early CGI for a show that aired in 1994. The boxset has the first 26 of the 92 episodes.

Big Bad BeetleBorgs: Season One, Volume One is another one of Saban’s shows that used the Power Rangers formula of success. This time they cast really much younger actors to be the superheroes. Drew, Jo and Roland are maybe in junior high. On a dare, they sneak into a haunted house that really does have ghosts and monsters lurking in the shadows. They free Flabber from a pipe organ. The ghost looks just like Jay Leno with his huge chin and haircut. As a favor for being released, Flabber gives them each a wish. Being little geeky kids, they beg to become a real life version of the Big Bad BeetleBorgs. That’s their favorite superhero team. He does it. But as a consequence of the wish, the BBB’s enemies from the comic books also enter the real world. The comic book creator Art Fortunes can create things on the page that happen to the Beetleborgs. “Convention Dimension” takes the trio to Comic-Con to meet Art. What they don’t know is that the evil Vexor will also be there. The evil one wants to kidnap Art so they can use him to wipe out the BeetleBorgs. The action scenes and costumes came from Japan’s Juukou B-Fighter. This boxset has 27 of the 88 episodes that ran back in 1996.

Transformer Rescue Bots: Roll to the Rescue is another new series featuring the robots that turn into cars. Heatwave, Boulder, Blades and Chase come to Griffin Rock, Maine to become part of the first response team. The show is more about teamwork and doing the right thing than just mindless battling of evil robots. This collection has the first five episodes along with the 7th. “Family of Heroes” brings the foursome to Earth. They must live with the Burns family. “Under Pressure” brings rival robots into the mix. “Hotshots” has two of the robots doing too much of the work and alienating the team. “Flobsters on Parade” thrills with giant lobsters attacking the town. “The Alien Invasion of Griffin Rock” almost exposes the Transformers. “Four Bots and a Baby” introduces a robot baby. The bonus is coloring book pages in pdf format. You can print out a coloring book for the kids.

An American Christmas Carol stars Henry Winkler in 1979 to show he can do more than wear a leather jacket, elbow jukeboxes to play free songs and give us a thumbs up. This isn’t a traditional version of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. He doesn’t perform it as the Fonz even though Happy Days did a variation at one point. This new holiday classic brings the action to depression era New England. Winkler’s Benedict Slade is more hardcore as Scrooge. He’s evicting people on the holidays along with firing his main employee. He’s a hardcore soul who needs to be visited by all three ghosts to get a change of heart. Winkler plays the elderly Slade along with a younger version. Winkler finally gets to show that he didn’t graduate from Yale’s drama school with only an MFA in being cool. He can act in more than one gear. This is a fine holiday special that ought to be mixed with A Christmas Story. Winkler provides an eight minute interview that explains how he got involved in the project. He talks about how he was intimidated by Alastair Sims’ version of Scrooge. The makeup took 6 hours to make him older. Now as an early Christmas treat, here’s the ABC introduction from when the movie originally aired. They included the original commercials.

ST. PAUL – The NFL’s latest season is upon us. Everybody else is running preview columns predicting how things will come out. I’m a sticking with Clubber Lang’s promise:

This is a league that generates billions from television contracts and the commissioner is nickel and diming the part-time referees. I hate the zebras as much as the next guy, but I’d rather not give them a “they’re just scabs’ excuse for blowing calls. Plus the real refs need the money to pay their bookies otherwise they’ll have another NBA happening.

I’m not much for the fantasy football business. I’ve got enough problems worrying that my team won’t choke. Why do I need to give a crap about 14 other players and their stats. Will the coach let my running back score from the one yard line? I’d rather bet on the length of halftime bathroom lines. But if I played the fantasy football with the guys at Hooters, I’d be picking Chris Kluwe in the first round. Sure Kluwe is the punter for the Minnesota Vikings, but I’ve grown to appreciate the guy from his posts at Deadspin. The man has personality and the ability to type more than 140 words about his latest jewelry. He took a break from training camp for this exchange with the Party Favors:

Party Favors: Do you have to practice that “thanks for having me punt out of the endzone, douchebags” stare during pre-season? Or is it natural talent?

Chris Kluwe: I just pretend I’m watching Kobe Bryant’s wife try to explain her expectations on marriage.

Party Favors: Priceless (or at least a $4 million ring worthy). If I find myself rooting for you, won’t I be hoping your team is stinking it up?

Chris Kluwe: You will indeed!

Good luck to Kluwe as he attempts to pin the other team deep with Ray Guy boomers. In my fantasy league, he’ll be responsible for the next hole punched in the Metrodome.

CANDY ALREADY

Who buys their Halloween candy now? August wasn’t over before the store aisles filled with bags of fun-sized candy bars. I don’t want to know that my candy has been sitting around for months before I steal it from the kid’s pumpkin. Get some fresh candy!

BREAKING UP WITH GIANNA

It’s with a heavy heart that I must announce my beak up with Giada De Laurentiis. I’d rather you read it here than see it on TMZ. The good times are over after what seems like a decade of her foodgasm mouth dominating my TV. Why did it end? Cause I’ve found a new passionate TV chef.

My heart and tongue belongs to Nadia G. The star of the Cooking Channel’s Nadia G.’s Bitchin’ Kitchen makes me drool. She’s Italian and Canadian thus feeding my Phil Esposito fetish. I have a dream of us roaming around Montreal as she points out spots where Leonard Cohen picked up the ladies. She keeps pulling warm treats out of her picnic basket. Mmmmmmm brisket sandwiches with her Nonna’s sauce dripping on my Blues Explosion t-shirt. I’ll even pretend I know her secret language to put her linguini deep in my mouth.

The third season of Nadia G’s Bitchin’ Kitchen starts Sept. 26. Don’t get between me and the TV or you will be shaved like nutmeg.

LATIN FLAVOR MICHEAL JACKSON

Perhaps you enjoy the music of Michael Jackson, but would like to hear it spiced up. Tony Succor has put together an all-star band for UNITY: The Latin Tribute to Michael Jackson. Fourteen of Jackson’s biggest hits are given Latin/Tropical Pop treatment. The singers include Tito Nieves, La India, Obie Bermúdez, Jennifer Peña, Michael Stuart, Kevin Ceballo and Jan. Here’s a taste of what’s to come from this project:

MAD MONSTER PARTY

The passing of Phyllis Diller was a sad event. How can she go away? What will Fang do without her? She’s kind of back with the Blu-ray of Mad Monster Party coming out in time for Halloween. Here’s a clip of the Rankin-Bass production that’s so much better than Adam Sandler’s Transylvania Hotel .

DVD SHELF

Rawhide: The Fifth Season, Volume 1 & Volume 2 takes us back to a time when Clint Eastwood didn’t talk for 14 minutes at once. Clint was the quiet foreman Rowdy Yates on an endless cattle drive back in 1962. “Incident of the Four Horsemen” gives us more Claude Akins (Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo). He might be plotting against Eric Fleming to run the herd through a range war. “Incident of the Lost Women” finds a younger Harry Dean Stanton (Paris, Texas). “Incident at Sugar Creek” finds refuge in the good heart of Beverly Garland (Not of This Earth). For those with poor short term memories, Claude Akin returns for “Incident at Quivira.” This time he’s a Sergeant involved in a hunt for a fountain of youth. “Incident at Spider Rock” frightens us with Lon Chaney Jr. (The Wolf Man). Things get ugly when the drovers get cheated at a bar. Among the fighters is James Best (Dukes of Hazzard). “Incident at Crooked Hat” has a gunfight between the wrong people. James Gregory (Barney Miller and The Lawless Years) helps straighten things out. Another Universal Monster arrives for “Incident of Judgment Day.” Claude Rains (The Invisible Man) get involved when two former Confederate POWs have a beef with Clint Eastwood. Robert Loggia (The Sopranos intimidates “Incident of the Comanchero.” “Incident at Rio Doloroso” gets messy when the cattle cross private land that’s controlled by Cesar Romero (Batman‘s The Joker). “Incident at Alkali Sink” lets Russell Johnson play a cowboy instead of being the Professor on Gilligan’s Island. Rawhide used to be on during the weekends on one of the digital subchannels. Not sure where it went, but who cares now that another season is on DVD. Only three more seasons to go. It was around this time that Clint went to Spain to make A Fistful of Dollars. Let’s remember him as a cowboy rather than the Chairwhisperer.

Halloween II Collector’s Edition gives us “More of the Night He Came Home.” The sequel to John Carpenter’s Halloween starts right where the original stopped. The traumatized Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) is being taken to the hospital as Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) discovers his six bullets didn’t stop Michael Myers. The killer is on the loose. They didn’t diddle around with five years later or a new town. The horror of the Halloween night keeps coming. You can marathon both films into a night of thrills, chills and kills. Loomis hits the town with the cops wanting to track down Myers. But the killer is heading straight to the hospital. Why must he get Laurie? The answer will be revealed. There’s also a big nasty explosion. The bonus features make this a major upgrade (along with the Blu-ray’s excellent 1080p transfer). There’s two audio commentaries including director Rick Rosenthal. “The Nightmare Isn’t Over!” is a documentary that explains how the project came together even without John Carpenter in the director’s chair. “Horror’s Hallowed Ground” revisits the locations to see how some haven’t changed in 30 years. There’s also deleted scenes and the alternate ending. The biggest bonus is the television cut of the movie on a second DVD. It might be a minute shorter, but there’s plenty of footage replacement to make things pass the TV censors.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch was billed as “The night no one comes home.” Unfortunately it became the night that nobody went to the cinema. Why would a horror sequel do so poorly? Because it didn’t really feature Michael Myers. When the initial reviews mentioned the lack of the psychotic killer in the William Shatner mask, fans stayed home. They didn’t want to see a movie about evil Halloween masks being sold across the country. Silver Shamrock rubber masks have a secret inside them. Tom Akins (The Fog) is a doctor that gets involved in the violent plot when a patient is killed and the killer blows himself up in a car explosion. Can he expose the company or will he be killed? The movie does tie in with the original film since an airing of Halloween on TV is the trigger for the diabolical scheme. There’s a fantastically annoying commercial constantly run by the mask manufacturer that should become the jingle of Party City around the time. The bonus features include “Stand Alone” seem deals with how it didn’t turn out to be a good thing to use Halloween as the trademark of a film series that wasn’t just about Michael Myers always coming home. Friday 13th would achieve this when they launched the TV series in the late ’80s that wasn’t merely about Jason killing teens. But this time the gimmick was a glitch. What’s nice is seeing director Tommy Lee Wallace meet fans of the film who didn’t feel cheated. There’s no reason to feel cheated since it’s a good ’80s horror film that has no problem making snakes come out of a kid’s face. “Horror’s Hallowed Grounds” lets Sean Clark take Wallace to place he hasn’t been in three decades. Halloween III: Season of The Witch would have done better if it had just been Season of the Witch. This should be part of your Spooktacular marathon this October.

The Garfield Show: Holiday Extravaganza covers the major holidays until the end of the year. The episodes are from the recent CGI Garfield series. Seven episodes cover the holidays that require TV specials. “The Haunted House” is spooked by a ghost cat. Jon inherits a haunted house in “Heir Apparent.” They must stay in the house or lose ownership. “Turkey Trouble” should have had a fresh turkey delivered to the house for Thanksgiving. The turkey turns out to be extra fresh since it’s alive. Can Garfield bring down the ax? “Caroling Capers” plots to feed Garfield when he sings door to door. Except can a cat really make holiday music? “Home for the Holidays” is a two part special. Garfield understands the true spirit of Christmas by finding homes for abandoned pets. This DVD shall give you a reason to love holidays and hate Mondays.

Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, Volume One brought the live action of the movies to the small screen (Fox Kids) back in 1997. What exactly makes this a “Next Mutation?” The arrival of Venus de Milo, the female Ninja Turtle. Finally little girls had their own hero in a half shell. Volume One has the first 13 of the 26 episodes produced. The season starts off with the five part “East Meets West” which makes it movie length. It’s hard to tell if the show was originally created to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV. They are using the same sets and props as the second and third films. What makes it seem like this wasn’t a complete salvage operation was the lack of star power in the human guests. It was a good way to cover the bases so that the producers packaged the five episodes as a straight to video movie. The big new enemy in the series is Dragonlord. He leads the dragonpeople that call themselves “The Rank.” The show fits well with the Power Rangers. But since the costume action wasn’t imported from Japan, the turtle lips match up with their words. Even the gangster ape in “All in the Family” looks good. This is all about the guys in the turtle suits and the introduction of the female turtle. The final 13 episodes on Volume 2 are scheduled to come out on Dec. 4.

For the Love of Money is this Fall’s gangster-palooza. Some criminal films make references to classic mobster films, but Money casts the mobster stars in supporting roles. James Caan (The Godfather), Steven Bauer (Scarface) and Paul Sorvino (Godfellas). They even cast a few former child stars in Edward Furlong (Terminator 2) and Jonathan Lipnicki (Jerry Maguire). What’s interesting is how Jeffrey Tambor (The Larry Sanders Show & Arrested Development) gets pulled into the tangle. But who is the star? Izek (Yuda Levi) escapes a gangster related childhood in Israel. He wants to be an honest businessman in Los Angeles, but crime won’t leave him alone. His brother (The Mummy‘s Oded Fehr) wants to bring him over to the dark side. True story shows his struggle to not fall in with the criminal element or a shallow grave. The big thrill is getting to experience the return of Lipnicki.

Adventures of the Wilderness Family is a film for today. Skip Robinson (Robert Logan) gets sick of the city and drags the family to woods of Colorado. Except instead of Aspen, they’re really deep in the sticks. So deep in the wilderness that they can’t get the internet. Their lack of internet is also due to the fact that they’re stuck in 1975. Wilderness Family was a family favorite cinema success on par with Born Free. Skip’s and the family don’t have an easy time living the simple life. Things are a lot more demanding than the rustic paintings of bygone days. They experience natural disasters and wild animal attacks. The biggest trouble is the fact that Skip has zero frontier survival skills. Forget bears and wolves, this family could end up in Donner Party territory if the kids decide to grill the old man for a real meal. The film holds up after nearly 40 years. There is good kitsch fun with the ’70s fashions and dangerous things you can’t do anymore. They drive around town with the daughter in the back of the pickup truck. The bonus features on the DVD include the original TV commercials and theatrical trailer. This success of Wilderness Family led to The Further Adventures of the Wilderness Family and Mountain Family Robinson. The entire trilogy is available as Video On Demand. At the end of the trailer on Youtube, you can rent the film for 24 hours.

Kojak: Season Five wraps up the legend of the greatest bald police lieutenant. What took down Lt. Kojak? The usual suspect of low ratings. The final caseload isn’t disappointing. They even bring in the greatest showman in Las Vegas to dazzle the eyes. “A Strange Kind of Love” makes a cabbie impress a talk radio hostess. He kills the people she things deserve to be punished. “The Summer of ’69” is a two-parter that puts Kojak on the trail of a serial killer. The problem is that Kojak thought he shot the guy dead a long time ago. Stephen McHattie (The Watchmen) and Thalmus Rasulala (Blacula) are part of the killer comeback. “The Captain’s Brothers’ Wife” places Shelley Winters in trouble with mobsters. “May the Horse Be With You” brings a Star Wars pun to the force. Horse thieves are loose at the track. Jeff Conaway (Taxi) might be involved although he seemed to have liked a different kind of horse. “60 Miles to Hell” goes all out on star power when Liberace meets up with Kojak in a Las Vegas caper. Detective Croker (Kevin Dobson) Is part of a group of kidnapped people. Kojak’s only hope is working with one half of a topless magic act (Three’s Company‘s Priscilla Barnes. Don’t get too excited since they didn’t hint at nudity back in 1978. This episode would have ruled on Showtime. Normally this is the part of a review where the writer begs for the revival movies and series to come out on a DVD set. Turns out Shout! Factory already covered that on Kojak: The Complete Movies Collection. This is the final lollipop in Telly Savalas’ career as Kojak. He’s received the complete DVD love. While the show tries to be somewhat serious, it’s hilarious how they amped up the opening theme with a disco beat. Almost expect Kojak to be cuffing people at Studio 54 with such a tempo. Maybe Disco Kojak could have saved the series?

Power Rangers Samurai: Monster Bash reminds us that even though the Power Rangers dress up every day and battle monsters, Halloween is still a special holiday. The compilation DVD starts off with the recent “Party Monsters” episode from Samurai Power Rangers. This is a clip show with a bizarre premise. There’s a Halloween party going on in Nighlok Heaven. The various monsters recount how they killed by the Power Rangers. Talk about a downerrific fest. There are two other episodes centered on October 31. “Life’s A Masquerade” turns a school party into a battle with a mega-sized Frankenstein’s Monster. The big highlight of the show is Bulk and Skull dressing up as young and fat Elvis. “Trick of Treat” lets Skull and Pink Ranger compete on a gameshow. But they just can’t answer questions when a rapping pumpkin invades the town. Even worse is Bulk’s scheme to get his main man to win big. This is a fun DVD to break out while scooping the guts out of your pumpkin and cutting eyeholes in a sheet.

Safe stars the only “active” action star in The Expendables. Jason Statham has become the 21st century tough guy even with the lack of lush locks. He’s got a two fisted charm with his English accent. This time he plays an ex-NYC cop that’s supplementing his private eye income with time as a cage fighter. After burning his fighting career, he gets what seems like a simple case. He merely has to find an abducted Chinese math whiz. Problem is that she was grabbed by Chinese gangsters in order to get access to the complicated vault code. Turns out the Russian mob also wants the girl. To make matters worst, crooked NYPD members get involved in the chase. Everybody wants to open the safe with the girl. Statham gives another performance exposing his inner badass. The legendary James Hong (Kung Fu Panda) gets to prove that he belongs amongst the Expendables. Along with the DVD of Safe, you can get to access the film via iTunes and UltraViolet. Statham will be your buttkicking buddy on the go.

OCEAN ISLE – The future is here for cinephiles- finally. I haven’t been a major fan of the digital conversion of movie theaters since you’re just paying to watch a big TV. Unlike HBO, you pay to see the same ads that run on TBS except at a size too big to ignore. The digital projection revolution hasn’t been that impressive.

Mostly the DLP transition seemed a great way to kill 35mm film. What major studio doesn’t see the bright side of not paying $3,000 to strike 35mm prints of their latest blockbuster? That’s a $12 million savings for a movie opening on 4,000 screens. The studios aren’t passing the savings onto you in the ticket prices. Easily impressed people are amazed that digital projection has allowed “live” shows and sporting events in the theaters. They’re overjoyed at Oprah, Ira Glass, Glenn Beck and Michael J. Nelson during one night only events. But that isn’t a new of a concept. Back in the Sixties they had Closed Circuit events run in movie theaters including a Beatles concert and heavyweight boxing title fights. Basically you’re just part of a pay-per-view that makes all the guests in the room chip into the kitty without the “but I brought the Dean’s Dip” cheapskate making you eat his share. The digital revolution wasn’t that futuristic and exciting. Then I received a Facebook invitation to see Iron Sky for a one time screening at a nearby theater. The future finally went wow.

Why was this screening of Iron Sky more “cinema of the future” than the upcoming Riff Trax Live Birdemic on October 25? Because the viewers had to make Iron Sky happen. Riff Trax has already been scheduled to screen in over a hundred theaters across the USA. Iron Sky wasn’t going to run on a Thursday night in my neighborhood unless enough people bought advance tickets. What made this Iron Sky revolutionary was the simple fact that a curious viewer can set up a screening of the greatest film ever made about Nazis on the dark side of the Moon attacking President Sarah Palin.

How is this possible? How can a simple movie fan book a movie and rent a movie theater without an intimate knowledge of theatrical exhibition or several hundred dollars in advance? The folks at Tugg.com has simplified the process. They have a catalog of over 600 films varying from small documentaries to older blockbusters in their catalog. They also have deals with theaters capable of receiving the digital copy of the film. According to Tugg’s instructions, all you need to do is pick the film, select the nearest theater to you and schedule a date. My local screening of Iron Sky took place on a Thursday night. This is a slow night for ticket sales so the theater manager doesn’t mind a crowd showing up. Even with 15 screens, nearly all of the cars in the parking lot belonged to folks eager the special screening. This is easily a boon for theater owners wanted a reason to pour golden flavoring on the popcorn.

The hard work comes immediately after you set up the screening. You need to find enough people in your area not merely curious about seeing the movie, but ready to buy their ticket in advance. Can you locate 50 or more kindred cinema souls by working your Facebook and Twitter connections. You can always beg a writer at your local Examiner to give the screening a plug. You’ll learn to network on message boards. The good part is that Tugg provides a page for your screening that includes a countdown clock and total board of how many tickets still need to be sold to lock down the screening. This means that others who want to see the film will pester their friends to make the movie happen. A pal made his own Facebook event page to wrangle up more people including me. After I found out about Iron Sky, I pestered other people to get tickets. I wanted to see the Nazis on the moon invade.

As the promoter of a screening, there’s a chance to make a little profit on a screening if a huge crowd arrives. But the big picture for a fan of cinema isn’t making a few bucks. The true passion is to not lose your shirt. If the screening fails for lack of pre-sold tickets, you’re not stuck with a fat bill from the film’s distributor and the theater’s owner. Nothing can be more horrifying than an empty theater as your four-walled movie plays on the big screen. Back in the days of 35mm, you’d be on the hook for the cost of the projectionist inspecting, building and undoing the print besides turning on the projector. Their rate resembled the mechanic rebuilding your thingamagicator. Plus you’d be on the hook for UPS overnighting the print back to the distributor. You ever price overnighting 60 pounds via UPS? A failed four-wall event could cost you four figures. It’s easier to deal with dejection when your bank account doesn’t take a hard hit. If the screening is canceled, nobody gets charged for their tickets so your friends won’t think you’ve scammed them. This is what makes Tugg.com really revolutionary in the world of film exhibition. It’s win-win even in a losing situation.

If you have dreams of starting your own film society or being the next Sid Grauman, Tugg.com seems to be the best way to test the waters of exhibition. Is there truly enough of an audience eager to see titles that have more internet buzz than promotional dollars? Do you have the social skills to unite a crowd for one big screening every so often? Can you create a sense of cinematic community in your area? The good part of Tugg is the audience feels a part of the process since they didn’t merely buy a ticket. They contribute to bringing the film to the theater. Nobody is a passive consumer in this process.

Was it worth it to see Iron Sky on the big screen with a crowd? Oh yes. The film delivers on the premise of Nazis on the Moon attacking the Earth. This isn’t a lame SyFy original filmed in an alley between warehouses. The film smartly casts Udo Kier (Story of O) as the top Nazi. The film is full of hot women, pounding action, big explosions and just a touch of romance in an absurd concept. The comedy pours off the screen including Christopher Kirby as an astronaut shot into space for Sarah Palin’s “Black to Moon” re-election gimmick. They also pay tribute to the Hitler meme. You can wait for the Blu-ray and watch it at home, but the movie cries out for an audience to join you in laughs and gasps.

I’m really thankful that Tugg.com and the digital cinema revolution have made it possible for a one night screening of films without consequences. No longer do you have to beg your local theater owner to book a title. Now you can make it happen if you have the skills and the right kind of friends.

YOU’RE NOT THAT COOL OF PARENTS

Often I joke about taking my three year old daughter to see Cinema Overdrive screenings at the Colony Theater. Who doesn’t want to treat their preschooler to Silent Night, Deadly Night? But I’d rather wait till she’s a little older so such an experience can scar her for life like when my folks took me at age six to see Come Back, Charleston Blue. The movie poster made the film seem more like a slapstick comedy instead of a slight comedy dominated by the ghost of a heroin dealing pimp razorblading people in Harlem.

I didn’t take the kid to see Iron Sky. She likes Hogan’s Heroes. But I figured the Sarah Palin depiction might be too scary. Entering the theater, I was surprised to see a young geeky couple had brought their little ones. The two kids appeared to be under six or so. They seemed to want to be the cool parents which is cool by me.

After an hour of Nazi violence including people getting shot, tortured and injected with needles, there was a clothed heavy foreplay scene. The couple grabbed their kids and rushed them out of the theater. After the romance was over, they brought the kids back to their seats just in time to watch a guy get shot in the face.

I don’t have an issue with parents bringing their kids to an R-rated film. But how can a parent view a scene of passion as too much for their little eyes, but a bullet between the eyes is fully acceptable? When you bring a kid to an R-rated film, you’re all in or you’re all out. Otherwise you need to spring for a sitter. If you’re going to be the cool parent, you can’t give them the idea that passion is more dangerous than violence. It’s a bad message to scar them with bullets while shielding them from open mouth kisses. You’ve lost your cool parents status – mysterious couple with kids.

I won’t be taking my daughter to see the upcoming Cinema Overdrive screening of David Cronenberg’s The Brood (Sept 12 at the Colony Theater in Raleigh) since she ought to see Scanners first.

NOT READY FOR FOOTBALL

Why is the NFL Network pushing its schedule with a Brooklyn Douchebag? What part of overgrown manchild with scraggly beard wearing a “vintage” three piece suit screams football? Cause seems like that type of guy would be more hot to see some futbol. Wouldn’t this guy spend his Sunday afternoons writing to HBO for the return of Bored to Death and pricing tiny hats?

ROGER CORMAN CORNER

As the Roger Corman’s Cult Classics series comes to an end, a few of the lesser titles are being offered directly from Shout! Factory’s website. These are not Manufacture on Demand DVDs.
Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Naked Angels is a classic biker flick that used to scare grandma when they played at the drive-in. The Angels are furious that the Las Vegas Hotdoggers put their leader in the hospital. This must hurt even more that Mother (Michael Green) was beaten senseless by a gang with such a weak name as the Hotdoggers. At least it wasn’t the Reno Ball Hogs. Mother has to prove he’s really back in the gang so he can take back leadership and his old lady (Jennifer Gan). Mother’s a bit of a hothead. The big fear is that the gang will implode before they make it to Las Vegas to rumble with the Hotdoggers. This was the first of several biker movies with Angel in the title that Corman produced and later put out through New World.

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Sweet Kill was also released as The Arousers. This was Curtis Hanson’s first film before he’d move up the food chain with L.A. Confidential and Wonder Boys. This film is completely twisted. Former teen heartthrob Tab Hunter (Damn Yankees) plays a man with sexual issues. Instead of getting the little blue pill, Hunter discovers a more drastic solution. He accidentally kills a woman and get hard. This leads to him tempting women into his bedroom so he can murder them and get laid. It’s like Curtis Hanson missed his true calling of being John Waters’ rival. Oddly enough Tab Hunter would go on to star in John Waters’ Polyester. Tab Hunter understood how to play off is image in messed up cinema. They should remake this film with Justin Timberlake.

You can order both films from http://www.shoutfactorystore.com.

POWER RANGERS THEN AND NOW

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Season 1, Vol. 1 brings back the joy of geeking out in 1993. When the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers landed on Fox Kids, a semi-Japanese action show wasn’t that alien of a concept. In the mid-70s, the geek kids embraced afternoon screenings of Japan’s Ultraman and Space Giants. Kids eagerly awaited Godzilla and Gamera weeks on their UHF stations. Superheroes fighting rubber suit monsters was a beloved art form. MMPR did a little bit more of a twist to the show than merely dubbing. Saban took rubber suited monster footage and fights from Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger and shot new parts using American teens. This hybrid series worked well enough for the kids who quickly gobbled up anything Power Rangers oriented. Season 1, Vol. 1 contains the first 30 episodes. Rita Repulsa gets released from her moon prison when clueless astronauts open the lid. She’s ready to attack the earth with her monster creations. Her rival Zordon must come to Earth to choose 5 kids that can transform into the Power Rangers. They are each given a different color and a dinosaur attack ship (although a saber-toothed tuger isn’t a dinosaur). Halfway through this collection, a sixth kid gets to become the Green Power Ranger in “Green with Evil.” Contrary to the hype, the real stars of the show are Bulk (Paul Schrier) and Skull (Jason Narvy). They are the normal goofballs whose only super power is to transform into comic relief before the plot got too serious. They were adorable in their hijinks as they stalked the Youth Center and Juice Bar. They knew the Pink (Amy Jo Johnson) and Yellow (Thuy Trang) needed to hook up with them. They were the real saviors of Angel Grove.

Power Rangers Super Samurai: The Super Powered Black Box Volume 1 and Power Rangers Super Samurai: Super Showdown Volume 2 features 8 episodes of the newest incarnation of the Power Rangers. Power Rangers Super Samurai currently airs on Nickelodeon. Volume 1 opens with “Super Samurai.” The Rangers are still battling Master Xandred and the Nighlok monsters from Power Rangers Samurai. What makes them Super Samurai? Antonio and Mentor Ji unlock the black box which gives them Super Mode. They look even more colorful than the previous series when they go into battle. There’s an amazing warmth to the show thanks to its New Zealand location. Each volume has four episodes of major battles. What matters most is that Bulk is back! Paul Schrier now has to mentor Skull as they hone their non-existent Power Ranger skills. Bulk is the world’s oldest teenager now that Dick Clark is dead. Amazing to think that nearly 20 years after the original show debuted, the Power Rangers are still saving the world from rubber suited monsters.

DVD SHELF

Stallone 3-Film Collector’s Set brings together Sylvester Stallone’s biggest action character, his dramatic comeback and an obscure title. Rambo: First Blood was a bit of a sleeper hit in 1982. Sly played the frustrated Vietnam vet John Rambo. He’s roaming America in search of meaning and direction in his life. The small town he enters doesn’t like his kind and they’re not afraid to show it. They messed with the wrong long haired stranger as he destroys their little town, the National Guard and the United Nations. Their only hope is if his only army mentor Richard Crenna can calm him down. Who can really stop a tornado pushed too far? His return as the character in Rambo: First Blood Part II was a pure badass move. But for this film, he’s rather peaceful until pushed to the edge. There’s a commentary from Stallone and deleted scenes.

I have no memory of Lock Up being released in 1989. Maybe it just blurred with Tango & Cash. The prison flick sticks Stallone behind bars while warden Donald Sutherland (Hunger Games) tries to break his will to live. Danny Trejo is an inmate. Is Danny Trejo really 68 years old? The big bonus is a vintage behind the scenes featurette. Copland made him a bit more unassuming. He’s the sheriff of a small New Jersey town filled with NYPD cops. He has a quiet job with the streets filled with LEO. All is good until an NYPD scandal seeps across the river. Can Stallone stand up to the dozens of badges that he idolizes? This is the director’s cut. Stallone proved that like his roles in Rocky and First Blood that he can touch the soul of a character when given the right direction and not merely play a cartoony tough guy. He can be a thespian and not just a pumped up star. Two out of the three films here justify why Stallone can’t be written off as just an action superstar. The collection comes in both Blu-ray and DVD.

Astonishing X-Men: Torn is the Marvel Knights animation adaptation of the third story arc written by Joss Whedon (The Avengers) and drawn by John Cassady. It picks up where Dangerous left off with Emma Frost unsure if she wants to remain with the X-Men. She’s getting a serious offer to be a part of the new Hellfire Club. She sees too much weakness amongst the X-Men including her failed relationship with Cyclops. He’s too insecure to be her lover. Is she using her telepath powers to make Kitty Pride imagine that Professor X took away her baby. What is she really looking for? To complicate things even more, there’s an issue with aliens in Breakworld. What makes the Marvel Knights titles work is that they animate Cassady’s original art and base the script directly on Whedon’s dialogue balloons. It’s like reading the comic book without worrying about smudging the pages.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Complete Final Season wraps up the 10th season of the Saturday morning cartoon version of the show. In a world where the average Saturday morning series lasted one year, TMNT went on for a decade. These are the final 8 episodes that aired in the summer of 1996. Order up some pizza to munch while devouring in the final adventures of the Heroes in a half shell. The main focus of the battles is against Lord Dregg and his creepy buddies. Can Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael survive the end? Oscar winner Fred Wolf did a fine job of bringing these cult legends to animated life. Do prefer this version of TMNTs to the CGI adaptation. The episodes include the original CBS Saturday morning introduction.

Adventures of Tintin : Season Three wraps up the animated adaptation of the classic European comic strip adventure. The animated series from early ’90s used Herge’s original comic strip panels to inspire the action. I prefer the cartoons to the CGI grafted plot films from Peter Jackson and Spielberg that overplay the action to make it more cinematic. Seven books are included in this final season. “The Red Sea Sharks” uncovers human smuggling while rebels want to kill the local Emir. “The Seven Crystal Balls” murders members of an expedition. Each body comes with a smashed crystal ball. “Prisoners of the Sun” continues the action in Peru. The truth about the smashed crystal balls is explained. “The Castafiore Emerald” brings back the annoying opera singer. Is Captain Haddock really going to marry her? “Destination Moon” and “Explorers on the Moon” sends Tintin upward. Snowy the dog gets to bar on the lunar surface. “Tintin in America” has the pesky reporter battle Al Capone. The original comic was published in 1932 when Al Capone might not have been happy at being depicted in a comic book. “The three comic books not animated were Tintin in the Land of the Soviets, Tintin in the Congo and Tintin and Alph-Art. The first two because they were a rather two offensive and Alpha-Art was unfinished. The Adventures of Tintin is a fine edition to your animation collection.

Perry Mason Season 7, Volume 1 shocked TV viewers in 1963 with the most unthinkable of outcomes: Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) finally lost a case to Hamilton Burger (William Talman). “The Case of the Deadly Verdict” pops Mason’s six seasons of making Burger his whipping boy. How could this have happened? Mason can’t rest with this black mark on his record. He must find the real killer and spring his client from death row. He’s not scoffing this off as “that’s the way the cookie crumbles.” He needs a rematch to prove his legal manhood. “The Case of the Nebulous Nephew” scams two elderly people by their young relative in a scheme involving Ivan Dixon (Hogan’s Heroes). “The Case of the Shifty Shoebox” exposes a killer when Billy Mumy (Lost In Space) opens the lid to the murder weapon. “The Case of the Drowsy Mosquito” disguises Perry as an old prospector. Can he fool Strother Martin (The Wild Bunch)? “The Case of the Decadent Dean” blows the lid off a shady prep school. “The Case of the Reluctant Model” points the finger at a fake Gauguin painting and a dead art dealer in the shower. “The Case of the Floating Stones” features James Hong (Kung Fu Panda). “The Case of the Bouncing Boomerang” places Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper on Gilligan’s Island) in the middle of property scam. “The Case of the Accosted Accountant” busts Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman on The Six Million Dollar Man) for murdering his father-in-law. He was promising to expose the old man for bad business activities. The 15 cases here are fine, but it’s hard not to overcome the shock of Perry Mason getting nailed with a Guilty verdict. Only McKayla Maroney can relate to Mason’s butt plant. Volume 2 comes out on Oct. 23.

The Streets of San Francisco Season 4 Volume 1 & 2 brings to an end to the time Inspector Steve Keller (Michael Douglas) spent with Lt. Mike Stone (Karl Malden). Why? Because right after the season ended, Michael Douglas won the Best Picture Oscar for producing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. How can he track down killers when he had to juggle studio meetings? But at least he gave one final season to roaming around Fisherman’s Wharf with Malden. “Poisoned Snow” turns ugly quick when a female undercover agent gets shot to death when a deal goes bad. Her partner (Clu Gulager) wants revenge on the dealer. What he doesn’t know is his son’s got problems. The troubled teen is none other than Mark Hamill pre-Star Wars. “No Place to Hide” forces the wives of prisoners to deal drugs on the outside. There are nasty consequences to the wives if they say no. Charles Napier (Squidbillies) gets drawn into the scheme. “Men Will Die” targets Michael Parks (Kill Bill) for death by an aggressive anti-rape organization. “School of Fear” has a teacher snap against violent students. He takes them hostage. One of the students Is future Sweathog Robert Hegyes. “Murder By Proxy” has the triple threat of Sorrell Brooke (Dukes of Hazzard), John Ritter (Three’s Company) and Gordon Jump (WKRP). A land developer might be depreciating the neighborhood to buy up houses on the cheap by paying for criminals to visit after dark. “Dead Air” hints that Larry Hagman is a talk radio host able to kill female listeners. He did kill a liver. Volume 2 starts with “Spooks For Sale.” Tom Selleck (Magnum P.I.) might have killed a night watchman. “Police Buff” presents Bill Bixby (The Incredible Hulk) as a cop wannabe who loves to listen to the police scanner. He answers a call and brings the law on his own tail. “The Honorable Profession” makes Robert Reed (The Brady Bunch) a fake doctor and a real witness to a robbery. The finale for Douglas is “Alien Country.” A. Martinez gets a job in the city and shortly thereafter becomes a suspect in the death of an immigration officer. The show would go on for a final season with the arrival of Richard Hatch (Battlestar Galactica) as the new rookie learning from Mike. Douglas would return as a San Francisco cop in Basic Instinct. You can get both volumes bundled together for a lower price. Season Five arrives on Oct. 30 to wrap up the show.

You’ve Got A Friend brings the charm of John Schneider (The Dukes of Hazzard) to the slower wheeled action of Soap Box Derby cars. Dylan McLaughlin is recently orphaned and moves in with is uncle and aunt up in New Mexico. He focuses his talent on creating a great soap box car, but he needs help. He finds it in the reclusive Schneider. The two bond while woodworking and pushing the speed of wood. His uncle doesn’t like Schneider so there’s the resistance. It’s a nice and inspirational tale for anyone making a car for this year’s Kerwood Derby. It’s good to see Schneider working with a kid that isn’t going to become Superman.

NEW YORK CITY – The death of Sherman Hemsley was a bit of a shock. He was only 74. That means he was barely over 30 when he took the role of George Jefferson on All In the Family. He seemed like he was in his 50s then. Strange how Tom Cruise is 51, but can’t play the maturity Sherman displayed even when he acted childish for comic effect.

Even stranger were reports Sherman was a serious fan of Prog Rock. Could this be true that George Jefferson was hooked on the great English bands that dominated the early ’70s? Was he roaming the aisles of Tower Records asking for Japanese vinyl imports of Yes, King Crimson and Emerson Lake and Palmer? There’s a bizarre tale of a member of Gong describing his time with Sherman as an unwritten Hunter S. Thompson novel. Wikipedia claims that Sherman had collaborated on a record with Jon Anderson of Yes. We all know that you can’t publish fiction on Wikipedia…unless you’re running for a public office.

Could this just be one of those internet myths such as Bea Arthur’s time as a sniper in the French Foreign Legion or The Phantom Menace being better than Star Wars? Instead of being lazy like salaried internet bloggers and merely pondering the validity of the claims, I went straight to the source. I wrote Jon Anderson an email asking if he really knew Sherman and if they recorded an album.

The very next morning there was a response in my inbox from Jon Anderson. It read:

We talked we laughed, we talk we sang, we laughed….and so it goes…he was fun to be around.. but we never got any further than that…what a guy…what a face!!!…….Jon Anderson

That confirms that Sherman Hemsley and Jon Anderson were pals although it sounds like they never actually went into the studio and recorded an album. What’s amazing is Jon’s tribute sounds like a lost verse from And You and I. Somebody get Rick Wakeman to score those words.

It’s always pleasing to discover someone you’ve always considered cool was even cooler. Now when I think of Sherman Hemsley, he’ll be bobbing his head, plucking an air bass and dancing his feet to Yes’ “Starship Trooper.” This is for Sherman as he moves on up:

Jon Anderson’s no longer touring with Yes. He’s still on the road doing an acoustic tour of his music including Yes tunes. He’ll be in Uruguay and Brazil in September. He and Rick Wakeman released their The Living Tree in Concert Part One last year. Jon’s vocals were sampled on Kayne West’s “Dark Fantasy.” If you see Jon, make sure you ask him about Sherman.

I’m still waiting to hear back from King Crimson’s Robert Fripp about his memories of Sherman.
TELL ME ABOUT THOSE SHADES OF GREY

This year’s weird sensation is 50 Shades of Grey. How did a book about the BDSM relationship between a not that old guy and his barely out of college submissive become a best seller like The Dungeons of Madison County? Got me. If I wanted to read about such stuff, I’d hire a stenographer for my bedroom.

There’s something creepy about seeing grandmas read the book in the open. Does this mean this year instead of a tie, you need to get grandpa a ball gag? Are kids in woodshops holding the boards so dad can sand down the St. Andrew’s cross mom wanted after finishing the book? How kinky will America really get? Will bondage clubs be overwhelmed with the smell of Aqua Velva and Chanel No 5 on the weekends? Can you get a leather mask in plaid? Will bondage be this season’s robot wars? Enough time making you cringe. Let’s get on to our guest.

The Party Favors had a chance to ask Becca Battoe about her narration on the 50 Shades of Grey Audiobook via the kind folks at Gawker. Back when I worked at a bookstore, we used to stock the audiotape of Anne Rice’s Beauty BDSM novels. None of us were prepared to hear these erotic tales being read by Elizabeth Montgomery. You haven’t experienced a flogging until the star of Bewitched brings it to life.

So my only question to Becca Battoe was: Have you listened to how Elizabeth Montgomery read Anne Rice’s erotic novels to get a sense of tone?

Becca Battoe: I have to admit, erotic novels have never been my cup of tea… Not that I don’t think I would like them, or that they aren’t great novels (I am certain they are). It’s just not a genre I have really been introduced to before now. For this particular book, I didn’t have the prep days to do more research than just getting myself familiar with the story and the characters. I had to just go with my gut, and work as hard as I could to tell the story the best I could.

AV GEEKS PROJECT NEEDS YOU

Skip and the gang of the AV Geeks need your help to preserve, distribute and promote our nation’s 16mm educational film legacy. They want to transfer 100 miles of 16mm and put it online for you to share with your kids or watch while you’re toasted. Those who give will receive cooler premiums than your local NPR station are passing out. Here’s the website for all the info on this worthwhile project:

http://www.indiegogo.com/avgeeks100miles

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season One isn’t the same show you caught back in the fall of 1987. The original version saved on expenses by doing all of its post-production in video so it was stuck on standard definition tape instead of a 35mm film master. This is why it always looked a little fuzzy on TV. Now that HDTV is the broadcast normal, a wise executive didn’t want a series of the future to be stuck in the past. So they’ve gone back to the original 35mm film shot of actors and created new special effects in 1080p. Even if you’ve watched the show hundreds of time on TV, VHS and DVD, you’re watching it for the first time once more when the Blu-ray plays. The 25 episodes bring out the details of the rebuilt U.S.S. Enterprise. You’ll be able to figure out the stitching on Counselor Troi’s uniform. Fans at the time were rather nervous about having Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the regulars replaced like a bunch of security guys in red uniforms. The originals were still doing well in the movie theaters. Why mess with a working formula? Little did we know Star Trek V: The Final Frontier was approaching. Could the new cast compare with the originals or would they be retreads? Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) was not Kirk. This was obvious in that Picard didn’t wear a toupee around the galaxy. First Officer Riker (Jonathan Frakes) was more a stud than Mr. Spock. There was a Spock like character in Data (Brent Spiner), but he was all android and didn’t have to deal with a human side just understanding humanity in general. The big addition to the bridge was the Klingon Worf (Michael Dorn). Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton) was the pesky smart kid. Geordi La Forge (Roots‘ LeVar Burton) became the quick icon with his vision assisting glasses that looked like a car’s air filter on his face. The first season of ST:TNG featured the imprint of Gene Roddenberry. The episodes are fine for such a monumental task of creating a whole new universe within the imprint of an iconic title. The first episode, “Encounter at Farpoint” introduces the memorable Q (John de Lancie). The God-like creature puts Picard, his crew and humanity on trial. The bonus features include episodic promos, materials used for the launching of the show, a gag reel and a detailed breakdown of how they brought the images to 1080p. The big thing is “Stardate Revisited,” a 90 minute documentary that explain how the new show was created. Going the syndication route allowed Gene Roddenberry to focus on the show instead of “Save the New Star Trek” campaigns. This truly is an upgrade of a legendary series. Now you’ll know why Picard keeps pulling at his uniform. A must buy for those who care about Picard in charge. There is a minor audio weirdness, but Paramount Home Entertainment is taking care of it. . Replacement discs (Disc 1, 3 and 4) will be made available free of charge. Please email phe.stng@bydeluxe.com for details regarding the replacement program. You may also call 877-DELUXE6 (877-335-8936) between 8am to 6pm Pacific, Monday-Friday.

Jiro Dreams of Sushi isn’t only about raw fish on rice. The documentary is about the burden of seeking perfection in yourself, your family and all that you touch. Jiro Ono runs a 10 seat sushi restaurant near a subway exit in Tokyo. Sukiyabashi Jiro can easily be overlooked. Even with such a humble location, Jiro boosts three Michelin stars. He’s considered the best sushi chef in Japan. Even in his mid-80s, Jiro lives at his restaurant. Every day he seeks to create the most perfect sushi. It does need to be close to perfect since his minimum price is $400 a meal. That’s 20 piece of sushi served to diners at the perfect conditions which takes about 15 minutes to eat. The documentary examines what Jiro does to keep up his three stars status. The guy doesn’t settle for anything less than the best. His son Yoshikazu is still working for him in the kitchen. Eventually he’ll take over the restaurant, but Jiro doesn’t seem ready to stay at home with his wife. Yoshikazu lives with the burden that most will never consider him as great as his father. Even he admits he’ll be haunted by his father’s ghost. There is a dark secret revealed about the son at the end of the film. The film is like a great piece of sushi with enormous depth inside the simplicity. Jiro Dreams of Sushi should be seen on Blu-ray so you can gasp at the beauty of the food made by Jiro, his son and their staff. The bonus features include longer interviews with the men who supply the seafood and rice to the restaurant. They are all people who won’t settle for food that’s not worthy of a $400 a plate pricetag. Remember to eat your sushi before watching the movie.

2012 NBA Champions Heats captures what everyone knew what was going to happen: LeBron James and the Miami Heat would win the title. He had been derailed last season when the Mavericks nabbed the trophy. He refused to be denied this season. After a nasty Eastern finals against the Boston Celtics, The Heat appeared to be burned out as the Oklahoma Thunder (formerly the Seattle Supersonics) took Game One. It seemed like Kevin Durant was ready to grab his title before LeBron, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh could cement their glory. But then the Thunder went down in flames. Why? As you’ll see in this documentary it was Shane Battier finally contributing more than making sure the Heat had five players on the court. He looked like a former NCAA champion as he gave the Thunder a reason to not double up on Wade or LeBron. The Blu-ray comes with a DVD so you can let your little NBA fanatic watch the Heat’s run while you’re racing around in the car. The bonus features mainly focus on Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. LeBron is denied a chance to converse with Ahmad Rashad. LeBron does get his best career playoff moments counted down.

La Grande Illusion is a must own title for anyone who dares to call themselves a cinema expert. Jean Renior’s masterpiece about three Frenchmen trapped in a German POW camp during World War I. While the trio are bent on escaping the fortress, the German in charge takes a liking to one of them that shares an aristocratic past. Eric von Stroheim strikes a memorable figure as the camp commander. Lionsgate has put out an amazing black and white transfer using the original negative. This is probably what the film looked like when it ran in 1937. The mono audio track is remarkable for something recorded at the advent of sound. The bonus features are plentiful included a guide to how they found the original negative. Olivier Curchod gives the background and context for the film. It was banned during World War II. This version of La Grande Illusion is also a better price and quality image quality than the previous Criterion version. Spring for the upgrade.

Treasure Island is another entry into SyFy Channel’s premium reworking of classic works of fiction such as previous projects Alice In Wonderland, Peter Pan and Wizard of Oz. These aren’t the el cheapo CGI monster flicks. There’s quality on the screen in script, effects and acting talent. Jim Hawkins is a plucky young man with a treasure map. He gets on a boat in hopes of finding the “X” on the map. He befriends the cook (Eddie Izzard), but can he really trust the guy? Elijah Wood and Donald Sutherland join in the journey. The mini-series is much more entertaining than the last three Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Eddie Izzard finally gets a role that lets him be charming and devious. He’s no longer a missing in action thespian reduced to Arthur Treacher roles. The bonus features include a commentary track with Izzard and director Steve Barron. There are featurettes on the making, the cast, breaking down the swashbuckling and a tour of the Hispaniola ship. Treasure Island is over three hours long and worth every minute.

DVD SHELF

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXIV brings an end to two Franks. First we get the final two films from Sandy Frank that ran on the show. Fugitive Alien and Star Force: Fugitive Alien II aren’t really movies. Sandy Frank had bought the Japanese TV series Star Wolf and butchered up episodes to create two films. This way he could bundle them with his Gamera titles to offer low budget UHF stations wanting giant monster and SciFi movies to run on Saturdays. These wildly semi-unplotted movies drive Joel, Crow and Tom Servo nuts. They even try to outline the plot only to discover it has nothing in common with Hollywood Brooklyn Bridge graphic. Like so many Sandy Frank productions, the Japanese characters always get named Ken. Although he doesn’t wear a baseball cap like the Kenny in the Gamera films. What makes this final installment a must have is a bonus feature featuring Sandy Frank breaking down his amazing career in showbiz. He was once featured on 60 Minutes. Frank even talks about his iconic status thanks to be a “fav” of MST3K. Samson Vs. the Vampire Women says goodbye to TV’s Frank. The mad scientist is taken away to a better place thanks to Torgo. The Bots aren’t sure how to handle this departure. The movie is a Mexican masked wrestler supernatural action flick. His name is really El Santo so don’t keep asking when this film will turn into a Hercules knock-off. Don’t cry for TV’s Frank since there’s a feature about his amazing career after he left Deep 13. He didn’t end up back at Arby’s. He got to work with Nick Bakay on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He’s a busy man with powerful friends that don’t include Sandy Frank. The Sword and the Dragon is a big budget Soviet Union epic that was sliced up by Roger Corman so moviegoers would swear it was from Sweden or Denmark or any cold country that isn’t a Cold War menace. Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank find themselves on an accidental date when two ladies from Deep 12 knock on their door. They need Mike Nelson’s advice on how to get freaky with the ladies. There are also two bonus short film segments from episodes yet to be released. Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXIV dares to be twice as Frank.

VEGA$: The Third Season, Volume 2 brings to a close Michael Mann’s greatest creation. That’s right, the man behind Heat is the creative father of Dan Tanna (SWAT‘s Robert Urich). What made Tanna such a memorable character was he truly wandered the casinos and streets of Middle School Las Vegas. Here are the final 12 episodes that celebrate the lurid crimes in Sin City. “The Heist” has a robbery exercise go bad when a member of Dan’s team doesn’t want to give back the money. Stars include Dick Bakalyan, James MacArthur (Danno from Hawaii Five-O) and Werner Klemperer (Hogan’s Heroes). “Time Bom” explodes with NFL legend Dick Butkus. “Set Up” makes Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) a murder suspect. There’s a trifecta of guest stars in Simon Oakland (Kolchak: The Night Stalker), Sybil Danning (The Howling II) and Richard Basehart (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea). “The Killing” has the contractually obligated guest appearance of Victor Buono (King Tut on Batman). “Seek and Destroy” has the extremely young Tori Spelling. How did she land this role in an Aaron Spelling produced series? “Dead Ringer” has a mad bomber targeting Wayne Newton if he doesn’t leave the country. Las Vegas without Wayne Newton? Naturally Dan Tanna must beat up this mad man. Aren’t you curious how Randolph Mantooth gets into a “French Twist?” “Judgment Pronounced” has a Dan Tanna lookalike running around Vegas killing people. Who can he be? It’s Robert Urich’s older brother Tom. At least the show ended with a family affair. But it is sad to think Dan Tanna wasn’t around to see the construction on The Mirage. VEGA$ is such a guilty pleasure of a private investigator show. How can it have crapped out? Dan Tanna had a system?

Melrose Place: The 7th and Final Season, Volume 1 & Volume 2 wraps up the ’90s hottest apartment complex. How could this happen? Perhaps they got better offers from other units around Hollywood. Maybe they paying rent to the wicked Amanda (Heather Locklear) was too much. At least one former tenant moved back into the building. Jane (Josie Bissett) returned to the show since the cast overhaul had proven to be way too much for the viewers that were turning off the series. Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro) and Amanda were the only real familiar faces going into the season. The saddest part of the season was announcing the Matt (Doug Savant) had died in a car wreck. The guy wasn’t even on the show and they had to kill him anyway. Turns out he had kept a diary of dirty neighbor secrets. A lot of people want to get that book to destroy others. The big finale gives Amanda a fitting end after her iconic time as the owner of the apartment complex. Do you get a deposit back after finishing every episode of the series? It’s a shame that after appearing in 199 episodes, Heather Locklear remained a special guest star in the credits.

Gunsmoke: The Sixth Season, Volume 1 is the final season of 30 minute version of the show. This is the finale of the concise Western before things got a bit more rambling. Marshal Dillon (James Arness) and Chester (Dennis Weaver) continue to keep Dodge City safe. Doc (Milburn Stone) patches them up. Miss Kitty (Amanada Blake) makes her bar less of a brothel. “Small Water” forces Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) to free his old man on a bogus murder charge. “Ben Tolliver’s Stud” just sounds impressive to say in mixed company. “Old Fool” seduces Buddy Ebsen from his wife. He’s looking for a younger model, but why does she want him when he’s not yet Jed Clampett? “The Bad Sheriff” brings John Ford favorite Harry Carey Jr. onto the dirt streets. This version of the series used to air as Marshal Dillon on ME-TV. If you miss that version, buy the DVD set to get happy.

The Untouchables: Season 4, Volume 1 & Volume 2 wraps up the exploits of Eliot Ness (Robert Stack) and his crack mobster fighting unit. It’s been three years since Season 3. Fans were getting nervous that they had become forgotten. The fourth season is noted for toning down its use of fictional Italian gangsters. But don’t think that the violence was reduced. The season opener has Santa Claus get mowed down in a drive by shooting in the properly titled “Night They Shot Santa Claus.” This episode is so traumatic that ABC aired it in September. You’ll want to run this on Christmas Eve so the kids will know that St. Nick won’t be coming down the chimney. There are lots of major future stars this season. Mike Connors (Mannix) goes bad in “The Eddie O’Gara Story.” “Fist of Five” packs the double tandem of tough guys James Caan (The Godfather) and Lee Marvin (The Dirty Dozen). Telly Savalas (Kojak) swindles Frank Nitti (Bruce Gordon) in “The Speculator.” Robert Redford serves up bad bootleg booze in “The Snowball.” Robert Duvall (The Godfather) gets into a jazz trouble in “Blues for a Gone Goose.” “The Spoiler” unleashes the double team of Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) and Rip Torn (The Man Who Fell to Earth) on Ness. There is a bit of comedy when Ness has to pose as a jazz bass player in “The Jazz Player.” The Untouchables is now complete on DVD which means you can go to sleep late knowing Ness is keeping the world safe.

The Monitor is another creepy film starring Noomi Rapace (The original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). She’s a mom who has escaped from an abusive husband. In order to make sure her son is safe, she buys a baby monitor for the room. That’s when the supernatural trouble begins as she hears strange noises on the monitor. Things get even weird and weirder for her. Is it her ex-husband or something worse wanting to make contact with the son? The Monitor is a tight creepy film that has quite a few spook scares. Rapace knows how to look haunted by unworldly noises. The DVD presents the film in the original Norwegian and an English dub for those not in the mood to read while things go bump in the night. The bonus is deleted scenes. Watch it this way before Hollywood remakes it with Rapace 2.0. Because I love you so much, here’s the red band trailer.

Marley is an intimate portrait of Reggae superstar Bob Marley. Where did Bob Marley come from is answered over the course of 145 minutes. Bob has a complicated past just from the fact that he’s the offspring of a teenage girl and a 60 year old British civil servant. Mr. Marley wasn’t that supportive of his non-white offspring. Bob grew up in poverty in the hills and later Trenchtown on the island of Jamaica. As a teen, he sensed salvation in music instead of becoming a gangster. He formed the Wailers with Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer to get their sound across. He bucked against the Jamaican music industry with his indie label. One of the enlightening moments is coverage of the time he lived in Delaware before returning to the island ready to be a star. He became more than just a singing star. His dreadlocks and songs of struggle with a catchy beat made him an international sensation. The film delves into his Rasta beliefs. Follow him into the bed of Miss World 1976. He became the most powerful man on the island to the point where people wanted him dead. The footage of Bob performing after he’d been shot is a testimony to his grit and passion for uniting people. If you own a copy of Bob Marley’s Legend, you need a copy of Marley next to the compact disc. There is plenty of vintage concert footage along with quite a few archival interviews with Marley to give his own perspective on events at the time. The best bonus is more time with Bunny Wailer.

LOL is comedic just for the casting of Demi Moore as Miley Cyrus’ mom. This movie would clean up the hardware if TMZ had a cinematic awards ceremony. Miley’s a high schooler in Chicago dealing with her life and cyber life. Can you be social without falling into the trap of social networking, twitter and dirty videos posted online? Miley is the not quite so innocent gal who enjoys her life. But can she deal with all the boys, the pressure to remain cool with her girlfriends and Demi Moore? She does a lot of kissing on screen to separate the frogs from the princes. Thomas Jane (Hung) gets to look authoritative. Will mom and daughter bond once more? Marlo Thomas plays her grandmother so the family tree goes That Girl to GI Jane to Hannah Montana. The film does bring up the controversy if LOL means Laugh Out Loud or Lots of Love? Seems people don’t claim their LOL meant Lots of Love until after they get called out for being callous. Miley does seem to be maturing as a teen actress. Hopefully she got plenty of advice from Demi Moore in how to deal with TMZ reports. The special features include a commentary track, cast videos and praise for director Lisa Azuelos.

Kathy Griffin Double Feature Pants Off / Tired Hooker captures the pop culture comic’s two Bravo specials minus the bleeping when she gets saucy. Griffin is America’s favorite caustic reality TV viewer and VIP velvet rope crasher. “Pants Off” opens with Maggie Griffin addressing the audience about her daughter. She reminds them to pick up a t-shirt in the lobby. Kathy bounces onto the eager to dish about Kim Kardashian’s wedding. She confesses her virtual wedding gift she left on the family’s website. She reads the tweets of Kim before the ceremony. “Tired Hooker” was taped three months later and opens with Kathy getting to break down the entire marriage of Kim Kardashian and that guy who doesn’t matter anymore. The 72 day marriage is a year’s worth of material for Kathy. The highlight of the show however Is her tale of getting Cher to order a pizza. Kathy does a wicked enough impersonation of the icon. Where does pizza come from? There’s 17 minutes of bonus routines slashed from each show. The reason to buy the DVD is to enjoy the cover with Kathy made up to look like Betty Page in fishnets, leopard print unmentionables and bangs. She’s looking hot for a woman that’s as old as Tom Cruise. This preview is not to be played around small children and your Great Aunt Anna even if she’s reading 50 Shades of Grey.

Hey Arnold! Season 2, Part 2 is the further exploits of a nine year old with a football-shaped head. These are the exploits of him and his pals in the urban jungle that aired on Nickelodeon during the late ’90s. Hey Arnold! is much more “adult” than any of the kid shows currently airing on Nick and Disney at this moment. “The High Life” has Arnold’s buddy Gerald get into the watch selling business to make money on the side. Unfortunately it overwhelms his life when more product arrives than he has space in his room. “Helga’s Boyfriend” has the monobrow gal date Stinky with the hopes of getting Arnold jealous. But is it right to toy with Stinky’s emotions? “Harold’s Bar Mitzvah” has the kid duck the ceremony since he doesn’t want to be a man. “Hall Monitor” sets Phoebe on the road to becoming a tyrant. She gives detentions to anyone that crosses her. “Teachers Strike” makes the kids think missing classes when the work stoppage shuts down the school. The party is ruined when they have to make up the days later in summer. “Runaway Float” lets Arnold design a parade float representing the city. The high cost of building it prevents the school system from making it a reality. Helga gets her dad to fund the float for $300 so there might be compromises. Hey Arnold! deserves its greatness to be shouted out to a new generation.

Casa de mi Padre brings you Will Farrell in a western. While that sounds almost normal, things get weird since he’s speaking Spanish in a semispoof of the Telenovelas that air on Univision. Will is the son of a rancher who is having money issues. He thinks his younger brother has solved the cash flow except his connections might be less than legitimate. Trouble also comes in the form of the brother’s new fiancée. Will wants his future sister-in-law. Complications of the heart get prickly when the nation’s leading drug lord arrives to see his new business acquisition. There’s a weird vibe that this was a Funny or Die short that Will refused to stop and break character. It’s entertaining and not a mocking of the Telenovela format. If you watch E!’s The Soup, you’ll know how absurd and freaky these Spanish language soap operas can get to grab eyeballs. There’s almost restraint in Case de mi Padre. Will’s Spanish should be a beacon of hope to students struggling with college language courses.

The Smurfs and the Magic Flute is the original film from 1976 that didn’t make it to America until 1983 after the Saturday morning series was a major hit. Delaying the release turned out to be a good thing since the film was the biggest grossing animation film not produced by Disney. Little blue power got little kids into the theaters. The story focuses on a magic flute that’s being used by the evil McCreep to rob people. Peewit, a court jester and Sir Johan seek to retrieve the flute to save the kingdom and build up their legacies. Their only hope is if Papa Smurfs and the Smurfs can make a second flute for a flute fight to the finish. How can anyone expect to defeat a guy named McCreep? The DVD has the complete 71 minute film even though the opening has been altered to put in a website address. I’m going to guess that this won’t both small children. The film is different in characters, tone and animation from the Hanna-Barbera version, but nothing too disoriented. The bonus features are text essays giving history of the Smurfs, terms and how the film was made. There’s also a gallery of the various Smurfs in case you need a refresher.

The Rookies: The Complete Second Season is actually the reverse of Charlie’s Angels. This Aaron Spelling series was about three guys who go to the police academy and graduate to a life of overwhelming action while working their police beats. They didn’t need to get hired away by Charlie to live a life of danger. Trio consists of George Stanford Brown, Sam Melville and Michael Ontkean (Slap Shot and Twin Peaks) as partners in fighting crime. Gerald S. O’Loughlin is their veteran moral compass. Future Charlie’s Angels star Kate Jackson is a nurse married to Melville. The second season consists of 23 episodes. Things get started out right when John Saxon arrives. Also James Sikking appears a few years before he’d become a regular on Hill Street Blues. “Margin for Error” also has the future Sheriff Lobo in Claude Akins. Hold onto your hair when John Travolta arrives on “Frozen Smoke.” Pat Harrington gets to drop his animated Inspector accent in “Cry Wolf.” Johnny Brown plays the original Huggy Bear on “Prayers Unanswered, Prayers Unheard.” Star power can’t be stopped on “Down Home” when Jim Nabors arrives on the beat. Battlestar Galactica fans get to taste Richard Hatch in “Lots of Trees and a Running Stream.” Here’s a fun one: “Teacher” stars Nick Nolte who would eventually star in the movie Teachers. Also on the black board is Strother Martin and Don Johnson. Strother co-stars with Ontkean in Slap Shot. “Time Lock” releases Tyne Daly before she gets a badge in Cagney & Lacey. “Death Watch” delivers the contractually obligated guest star casting of Anthony Zerbe (Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park). This a cop show that knows no restraint. It was this lack of realism that made it Ontkean’s final season even though The Rookies lasted two more seasons and launched S.W.A.T.

Boss: Season One allows Kelsey Grammer to stop playing for laughs as he gets serious to run Chicago. Things aren’t going good for the guy. Besides all the usual political mess, he gets the news that his brain is failing him thanks to DLB. Can he get his work done before his mind shuts down? Can he keep this a secret from his enemies in the city? He has another election coming up. Can he hide the symptoms while going full blast in public with baby kissing and handshaking. The pilot episode was directed by Gus Van Sant. Strange to think that the guy behind My Private Idaho called the shots on the right wing Grammar. Van Sant sets the proper tone for the show. It’s Wire-esque for its approach to how a city runs. Those who don’t get Starz might want to watch all 8 episodes and pay for the channel when the second season of Boss starts on August 17. Makes you wonder what health issues other candidates are hiding in hopes you’ll elect them without fear. Grammer finally busts his Cheers time with a powerful show that steals best new drama of 2011 like a good Chicago politician.

The Sword Identity is a Chinese action film about the struggle to erase the stigma of the sword during the Ming Dynasty. The weapon at the time was viewed as a Japanese weapon. When nobody in China will give it a break, the inventor proves it’s invaluable. There’s a lot of good fighting in the movie. Xu Haofeng wrote, directed and edited the film and doesn’t come off as a first timer. There a bit of warmth and comical touches along with the fast paced fight scenes. The battle between the sword and various weapons will dazzle the eyes until you beg to get your own sword.

Blue Like Jazz is notable just because it was initial funding came from Kickstarter campaign. The movie is based on Donald Miller’s memoir about how his faith was tempered in college. Don (Marshall Allman) flees his Holy Roller family in Texas for a goofy school in Portland. Can he fit in and learn at the institution? Or will he merely become a bit character in Portlandia? College is a place of spiritual questioning. My own crisis came from asking how can there be a loving God if he didn’t warn me that taking Organic Chemistry at 7:50 a.m. was a bad idea? That’s Satan’s work. It led to me joining a cult known as “Students on Academic Warning II.” Don comes off a bit smarter in his class schedule. He’s just got to make sure he doesn’t get lost in a spiritual whirlwind. Marshall Allman played Sam Merlot’s shape-shifting brother on True Blood. He’s very likable in the lead here.

My Little Pony – Friendship Is Magic: Royal Pony Wedding is much more exciting than last summer’s royal wedding for Prince William and Princes…..was it Leia? You can’t beat a bunch of animated horses getting hitched. This seems like the perfect set up. Shining Armor is going to marry Cadance. She’s the niece of Princess Celestia. Everyone is blissed out except for the unicorn Twinkle Sparkle. Why is the younger brother not happy at the nuptial? It takes two episodes to get the answer. Also included on the DVD are “Hearts and Hooves Day,” “Sweet & Elite” and “The Best Night Ever.” This is another Brony event that requires formal dress.

ADAMSTOWN, TENNESSEE – Sometimes you don’t have to pick up a stick to make a point.
When Shout! Factory put out their Blu-ray of Walking Tall and its two sequels, I pondered why this great piece of deep fried filmmaking wasn’t part of the National Film Board’s National Film Registry. Airplane! and Enter the Dragon are on the list so it’s not that uptight of a vote. Well I got an answer from someone connected to the board. It hasn’t received that many nominations before the big vote. Who can nominate? Unlike the Oscars and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, people who just like a movie a lot are allowed to send in a nomination that gets reflected in the process. The voice of the people can be heard instead of just members of an elitist club. Who knew? You do now.

The person at the registry said that my nomination has been noted for Walking Tall, but I can get others to also email them in a nomination. The more nominations received, the better chances that it can be one of the lucky 25 films to make the list. Let this be our summer project: to get the legend of Buford Pusser preserved right next to Snow White, Citizen Kane and Eraserhead.

Why does Walking Tall deserve a slot in the Film Registry? First off we’re talking the original movie from 1973 and not the remake with the Rock and Johnny Knoxville. Joe Don Baker dominated the screen as Sheriff Buford Pusser. Think of him as the anti-Andy Griffith as he is forced to tackle the redneck mafia that’s ruined his little Mayberry. Walking Tall would have been Oscar nominated under the new rules of 10 or so Best Pictures. This film was an indie distribution sensation pulling in $23 million in an era when a movie ticket was $1.50. Drive-ins across the South were jammed by fans eager to see Pusser bring down a piece of lumber on a goon. The film inspired numerous Southern set flicks over the next few years. Nationally the movie has given birth to numerous real life lawman that fancied themselves the next Sheriff Pusser. Some are sincere while others are self-serving showmen. The film is part of the American cultural landscape. Judging from that soulless remake starring the Rock, Walking Tall can’t be duplicated.

Why should you take a minute to nominate? Because you can. How many times are you ticked off that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has skipped over your favorite band? Or the Oscars Takes a few minutes to write “I’d like to nominate Walking Tall (the original and not the crummy Rock remake) for the National Film Registry” and email it over? You can cut and paste what I just wrote if you want to be lazy about it.

Where do you send it? dross@loc.gov is the address for your email.

If you send in your nomination for Walking Tall, you may find yourself standing up and applauding the announcement of the next Film Registry list. Do it for Joe Don Baker and Sheriff Pusser.

PILL PROBLEM?

Nice to see Dr. Drew get nailed for being paid to push a drug and refusing to admit it as he hawked the stuff on major TV shows. He must have had a bout of amnesia after he cashed the check for over a quarter of a million dollars. Another TV phoney.

TODAY HOST

The producers of The Today Show haven’t done a great service dumping Ann Curry for Savannah Guthrie. Do they not understand what America wants in their female morning host? They don’t merely want a big smile. They need a woman who looks like she can shake off getting nailed in the stomach by a chimp. Think of the successes – Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley, Katie Couric and Meredith Vieira. All three could take that unexpected ape punch and send it back to Willard Scott with a chuckle. Deborah Norville and Ann Curry would be on the ground screaming for Lenny to dial 911 and their agent.

BYE ANDY

The passing of Andy Griffith was a sad moment around the Party Favors headquarters since it’s located in the heart of North Carolina. I never worked directly or encountered Andy. I had stalked him around Manteo Island with no sightings. I even left a box of Ritz crackers near the Lost Colony Theater as a trap. My brother was in the jury scene for Matlock’s last trial when he filmed the show in Wilmington. The rule on the set was that if you stared directly at Andy, you were immediately fired. For a while, Andy seemed to be the meanest man in showbiz. The closet I came to an Andy encounter was when a make-up artist let me listen to a voice mail Andy had left her. But after listening to his voicemail, it became obvious that Andy was really the most guarded man in showbiz. And why wouldn’t he be? So many people watched his shows over the year. While it’s not unusual for fans to think they know an actor, what made things twisted for Andy was many of these fans thought Andy knew them. He had to keep up a hard exterior to protect himself from their delusions. But when he accepted you into his inner circle, he was the charming Andy Griffith you imagined from the TV show. He did so much in making the world know that North Carolina wasn’t a soulless state packed with vicious hillbillies and snake handlers. Now it’s up to Zach Gallifinakis to carry Andy’s torch.

BOB MACKIE ON CAROL’S WARDROBE

WHY DVDS MATTER

I’m trapped in a “battleground state.” You know why they call them battleground states? Because every time you turn on the TV set – a SuperPAC is stabbing you in the eyes and ears with the most god awful depressing commercials. The messages can be summarized as “The good times are over so stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.” Whatever happened to the pursuit of happiness? People who are slightly depressed shouldn’t turn on a television station until after mid-November. It’s only going to get worse as they buy up all the ad time in every show. There’s nothing sacred. These SuperPACs are forcing their ads before youtube videos aimed at preschoolers. What’s the solution? Buy DVDs and avoid the chance to being attacked by campaign ads. If you have relatives and friends trapped in battleground states, send them care packages of DVDs that will keep them smiling. You might think about internet streaming services, but the SuperPACs are going to think of evil ways to pop up their message on the computer screen and then claim it was a glitch. They’re evil that way.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

God Bless America made me cry at its beautiful message. Writer-Director Bobcat Goldthwait has made another dark vision of America that outdoes his World’s Greatest Dad. Joel Murray (Duck on Mad Men) has a horrible day when he’s fired from his job and gets diagnosed for an inoperable brain tumor. He’s got not future. All he has is his TV since he’s also an insomniac. He can’t deal with all the ungrateful fame whores being turned into superstars. Whatever happened to nice people on TV? Murray goes on a campaign to restore being nice by killing jerks. He starts with the whiny brat from a version of Super Sweet Sixteen. During his murder plot, he gains a groupie in Tara Lynn Barr. She’s a high schooler gleeful in helping with the slaughter. She also wants to clean up TV with hot lead. The duo are amazing together. This is Natural Born Killers fired through Leon without being overbearingly arty. Bobcat plays it close to the bone as Murray and Barr go cross country looking to rid the country of reality stars. There are so many people who need to be stopped by this modern Bonnie and Clyde. Among the annoying TV people is TV’s Frank from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Joel Murray is Bill Murray’s brother. This is his Lost In Translation except with a much better ending when it comes to the relationship with the girl. God Bless America truly is a movie of our times. The bonus features include several behind the scenes featurettes, outtakes from the spoofed reality TV hows and a commentary with Bobcat, Murray and Barr. For those curious, Barr is not Roseanne’s daughter, granddaughter or nut plantation employee. God Bless America is the must see movie of the summer. Afterwards you might want to visit the X Factor auditions to stop Simon.

The Hunter allows Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man) and Sam Neil (Jurassic Park) to unwind in constraining roles. Dafoe gets hired by a biotech company to capture a Tasmanian Tiger. The creature is supposed to be extinct, but recently there have been reports of it roaming in the wilderness. He bases himself at a home owned by Francis O’Connor and her two kids. Her husband vanished in the wilderness less than a year before. While Dafoe wants to be the cold blooded killer stalking his prey, the kids are making him warm up. This is bad for business. Sam Neil is the local who serves as a bit of a tour guide to Dafoe. But he’s not fully open to the outsider. There’s a whole subplot about environmentalist halting efforts to work in the wilderness. Dafoe is masterful as the lonely hunter forced to make hard choices during the pursuit. Can he really destroy the last of an animal for a price? The producers of Animal Kingdom made The Hunter. This is another one of those fine movies that seems alienated from a box office focused completely on over the top comic books or Channing Tatum.

DVD SHELF

Streets of San Francisco Season 3 Volume 1 & Volume 2 brings some more authentic crime from the shakiest town in the west. Detective Lt. Mike Stone (Karl Malden) and Inspector Steve Keller (Michael Douglas) play the vet and the newbie going up and down the streets solving crimes. They really shot on the streets of San Francisco so you’re getting an accurate view of landscape in 1974. “One Last Shot” doesn’t merely give us Leslie Nielsen (Police Squad) in a serious role, but he’s drunk cop whose impaired behavior leads to his partner taking a bullet. Not only do Mike and Steve have to find the suspect, but must determine who pulled the trigger. Jock Mahoney (Tarzan in Tarzan’s Three Challenges) also guest stars. “The Most Deadly Species” brings Brenda Vaccaro to town. She’s not a tourist, but a hit woman on a gig. Joseph Ruskin helps as an undertaker. “Target: Red” brings Bill Bixby to town as a psycho killer looking to take out a politician. “Mask of Death” is John Davidson’s only real acting gig of his career. You won’t believe he was a host of That’s Incredible with his role as a female impersonator with a dark secret. Bernie Kopell (The Love Boat) and John Fielder (The Bob Newhart Show) factor into the double trouble. Dabney Coleman gets involved in “Jacob’s Boy.” The suspect is innocent of this crime, but he’s got another tucked away in his past. “Cry Help” screams from Clint Howard (Gentle Ben). Can Ron Howard’s brother really be a killer? Volume 2 has 11 episodes. “The Twenty-Five Caliber Plague” follows a gun over a weekend. The guest stars include Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears), Anthony Zerbe and Anthony Geary (General Hospital). “The Programming of Charlie Blake” makes Dean Stockwell think he’s being treated for his sexual predator ways, but his shrink wants him to confess to a different crime. “Solitaire” has Mike work with a new guy while Steve recovers from a gunshot wound. The old dog isn’t happy with his new partner. Malden and Douglas make a perfect crime solving team. The two volumes of Season 4 will be released on August 28.

Dynasty: The Sixth Season Volume One and Volume Two answers the question of what Carringtons survived the “Moldavian Wedding Massacre.” It was a tough summer for fans and the cast as they waited to know who lived and who was riddled with bullets. Medics and doctors would be no help. Only their eager agent could save them from a fate worse than death. What a perfect time to remove cast members that think they deserve more money? Viewers weren’t completely teased as wedding guests were brought out of the massacre site. The fortunate were messed up with a few odd wounds. The doomed would never return to Denver. I’m not going to spoil the suspense. The living didn’t get to leave the country. Turns out that Alexis (Joan Collins) and Krystale (Linda Evans) are kept in a dungeon while Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) arranges a multi-million dollar ransom. There’s a lot of unfinished business in Moldavia. Things get really twisted when Rita shows up on the scene. She’s a dead ringer for Krystale mostly because she’s also played by Linda Evans. Rita replaces Krystale in Blake’s life, but he doesn’t know it. She has a plan to merely divorce Blake and get half his fortune. Her back up plan is to kill Blake and take all of it. He’s in major trouble. Can he survive this double trouble? Will Alexis join in the carnage to get a cut? These are the 15 episodes on Volume One. There’s plenty of backstabbing and intrigue in Volume Two. Rita wants a bit of revenge for her plan going bad. Alexis goes screaming yellow bonkers when her husband messes with her daughter. There’s plenty of intense ugliness in the Carrington Empire until we get to the big cliffhanger of Blake choking Alexis to death when she does the ultimate backstab. You can order both parts of the season in one package since you’re not going to want to stop once you’re devouring the Carringtons. There’s only three more seasons to go.

Mannix: The Seventh Season packs quite a punch for the penultimate season. Joe Mannix (Mike Connors) was a private eye who worked from his gut. He either played out a case from his gut or took plenty of blows in his gut. His only real back up is his secretary Peggy Fair (Gail Fisher). He’s had a lot of police connections including Mr. Brady (Robert Reed). This was the last season he recurred on Mannix and it was also the final season of The Brady Bunch. You’d think he’d get more time as a cop once he dumped the wife, six kids, Alice and Sam the Butcher. He’s in the opening episode “The Girl in the Polka Dot Dress.” The shows starts off right when a mysterious client arrives at Joe’s apartment/office and the P.I. pours out the Scotch before getting to business. Mannix had priorities. He fears for a woman’s life, but doesn’t completely know the details. Damn those iffy mystics. A girl like the one he described ends up dead. Mannix has to take his next warning seriously. Joan Van Ark (Knots Landing) might be in the dress. “A Way to Dusty Death” is the classic small towners hating Mannix investigating. Howard Duff (Flamingo Road) and Tony Geary (General Hospital) aren’t happy locals. “Climb a Deadly Mountain” crashes Mannix into a mountain. He survives and is rescued by an escaped convict. Trouble is his pursing guards want the guy dead along with anyone that might know his secret. Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible and Vega$) guest stars. “Silent Target” ruins Mannix’s fishing trip when he hooks into a group of hitmen. John Hillerman (Magnum P.I.) and Frank Langella (Dracula) are amongst the hired guns. “Search in the Dark” ties Victor Buono (King Tut on Batman) into a jewel heist. “All the Dead Were Strangers” except Anthony Zerbe. “The Darkest Hour” demands Mannix figure out who shot him with his own gun. Can he solve the case and live? Among the suspects are Elizabeth Ashley, William Devane, Victor French and the tasty Alan Fudge. “Mask for a Charade” makes Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) hire Mannix to clear his name and restore his police badge after a murder charge. “Trap for a Pigeon” brings back Robert Reed for his final bit. What’s amazing is how the hair folks have covered his head in grease, wax and spray to semi-straighten out his dad perm he was sporting on The Brady Bunch that season. “The Ragged Edge” hooks Mannix on heroin so that he’ll do bad things to get the sweet stuff from his connection. Linda Evans (Dynasty) figures into this junky business. Mannix is such a badass show. There’s only one more season left to be released on DVD.

Father Dowling Mysteries: The Second Season was its first season ABC after NBC canceled the show. The series seemed like a sure fire hit in the era of Matlock and Murder, She Wrote. But NBC couldn’t handle the religious crime solving series featuring Tom Bosley (Happy Days) as Father Dowling and Tracy Nelson (sister of Nelson) as Sister Steve. Mary Wickes played the housekeeper, but would become a full fledge nun in the Sister Act movies. The second season is also not a full order since it was a winter replacement on ABC. “The Visiting Priest Mystery” starts innocent enough with Anthony LaPaglia (Innocent Blood) showing up at the church. Turns out he’s a man who prefers to put holes in others and not a holy man. “The Exotic Dancer Mystery” gets my attention with a healthy mix of strippers and nuns. Sister Steve has to go undercover to deal cards for Michael Des Barres (The Power Station touring version). “The Stone Killer Mystery” has an ex-con wanting to get revenge on Father Dowling for sending him up the river. His only hope of survival is Yahphet Kotto (Alien) and Paul Gleason (The Breakfast Club). “The Passionate Painter Mystery” stalks an artist. Why? Cause his work will be worth more when he’s dead. Among the suspects is none other than Rosco Lee Browne (Uptown Saturday Night) and Candy Clark (Man Who Fell to Earth. Father Dowling Mysteries is perfect for those wanting to more Holy Rolling than Matlock and the sinful Murder, She Wrote. There’s 13 episodes on 3 DVDs with the original previews.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Series 2, Season 2 covers the series from 1991 when DIC took over the animation duties. The Joes are ready to fight against Cobra and keep the earth free of their nefarious plans. All 20 episodes are featured on 3 DVDs. This was a strange time for the Joe team as they focused on saving the environment and stopping drugs. Just in time for the London Olympics and the Jubilee, there’s “Chunnel.” Cobra Commander has kidnapped the Queen of England. Guess her fancy wave isn’t a great form of self-defense. “Long Live Rock N Roll” is a two parter that has Rock N Roll Joe attack with his sonic guitar. He can kill with power chords. “The Sludge” creates a super villain out of a cesspool. Thankfully this episode isn’t in smell-o-vision. “Cobra World” is a cute one when the ultimate in evil buy an amusement park. Have they really turned into a family entertainment conglomerate or is this just a great way to kill folks with kindness? The bonus feature is a group of Hasbro folks discussing the toys and how they worked themselves into the TV series.

Bonanza: The Official Third Season Volume 1 and Volume 2 was when the show really took off after being moved to the ripe spot of Sundays at 9 p.m. America was ready to go to work on Monday so they could lie around the water cooler that they had a color TV back home. The 34 episodes are spread over the two volumes, but you can buy them bundled together at a discount. Ben Cartwright (Lorne Greene) and his sons Adam (Pernell Roberts), Hoss (Dan Blocker) and Little Joe (Michael Landon) are still keeping their Ponderosa ranch the most prestigious in all of Nevada. “The Smiler” has the brother of a man Hoss killed show up in town. But the guy swears he’s not out for revenge. You’ll be out for the guest part from Scatman Crothers (The Shining). “Springtime” lets John Carradine torture the boys while he’s a houseguest with just a few simple needs. “The Honor of Cochise” makes DeForest Kelly (Bones on Star Trek) the target of Indians. Guess he broke the primary directive. “Broken Ballad” returns Robert Culp (The Greatest American Hero) to the town. He’s retired from being a gunman. The neighbors are bothered since rumor has it that he killed a local’s son. “The Many Faces of Gideon Finch” features the familiar mug of Joe Turkel (Bladerunner and The Shining). “The Tin Badge” makes Little Joe a sheriff of a small town. Trouble comes in the form of Vic Morrow (Humaniods from the Deep). There’s a double Star Trek sighting on “Gift of Water.” James Doohan (Scotty) and Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel) get stuck in a drought. There’s a major trouble alert when Lee Marvin heats up “The Crucible.” He wants to make Adam a killing machine. Making this season even cooler is Marvin’s tagteam partner in Badass arrives with James Coburn in “The Long Night.” Hoss must have felt like a pony being around Marvin and Coburn that long. Those are two major reasons to grab season three of Bonanza. There’s plenty of bonus features including plenty of production photos, the cast pushing Chevys and a clip from a March of Dimes special with Hoss and Ben meeting Buster Keaton.

Dawn Rider remakes one of John Wayne’s early starring roles with Christian Slater (Heathers) in the Duke’s role. John Mason (Slater) returns home to find the masked outlaws that killed his father. He’s in a tricky situation since he might also be wanted by the law for his career choice. But his sense of getting revenge for what was done to pa outrides his fugitive ways. Trouble for Mason comes in the form of a lawman (M*A*S*H*‘s Donald Sutherland). He’s got a warrant. Emotional trouble for Mason evolves from Jill Hennenssy. He gets attached to her, but she’s got a few dark secrets he might not want to know. Since it wasn’t one of John Wayne’s major hits, Slater isn’t just having to carry too much of John Wayne’s weight on the screen. He can be himself instead of an impersonator saying, “Pilgrim” to enhance his dialogue. It’s a fine rough and tumble Western worthy of putting on the DVD player for a lazy Saturday afternoon oater. Dawn Rider is currently a Walmart exclusive although you can get digital copies from Amazon. Plan accordingly.

MILWAUKEE – Baseball is back in season and so is Don Most. The star of Happy Days returns in The Yankles. Instead of being the student athlete on the field, Most now plays a baseball dad.

Yankles is about Eliot Dubs (Michael Buster), a one-time pitching prospect who has entered a yeshiva to study for a religious life. When the school’s leaders decide to form a baseball team to play in a minor college conference, Eliot puts up a resistance. But he quickly joins in the diamond life to make things a little easier on his studies. While there’s a bit of raw talent amongst his classmates, he can’t do it all. The team really lacks a manager with real baseball skills. Brian Wimmer (Cpl. Boonie on China Beach) is a disgraced baseball all-star recently released from prison. He can’t find anyone to take him on for his court ordered community service hours. The yeshiva takes a chance on him since they don’t want to be completely embarrassed against their new rivals.

The film is an Orthodox take on The Bad News Bears. Amongst the colorful characters is Don Most. He’s a former big leaguer upset that his son has given up on baseball to study religion. The son was raised to see baseball as a faith. Most’s dad spends most of his time hanging out at a bar enjoying his beer and watching games on the TV. He’s not the jovial Ralph Malph that hung around Arnold’s.

When a chance come up to swap email questions with Most came up, the Party Favors eagerly accepted. Back in 1989, the Party Favors interviewed Frank Gorshin (Batman‘s The Riddler). Gorshin had recently done a play with Most. He had only compliments for his co-stars. Most has been active over the years including recently appearing on Glee. He also appeared on Star Trek: Voyager and Sliders which makes him eligible to appear at the John Rhys-Davies Convention.

Most isn’t a stranger to the diamond. He was part of the Happy Days ball team the played numerous charity games. But we start the conversation about Most playing a prickly character in The Yankles.

Party Favors: What did you do to create and maintain the frustration your character projects early in Yankles?

Don Most: I took certain events from my own life….plus added some imaginary circumstances to get me to where I needed to be.

Party Favors: Did you ever get fearful that the cast and crew would think you were that prickly?

Don Most: I thought that some might, but you got to do what you got to do.
Party Favors: How was the collaboration between yourself, David R. Brooks and Zev Brooks?

Don Most: I mainly collaborated with David (who directed) and it was great! He really took the time to make sure we were both on the same page, answering all of my many questions, and offering some good insights.

Party Favors: What did you do to create a father and son bond between you and Michael Buster. Did you end up playing catch off camera?

Don Most: We did not end up playing catch. We mainly talked and got to know one another as best as you could. Since there was supposed to be such alienation between us, sometimes we would keep our distance from each other.

Party Favors: Was it odd to be in a religious theme baseball film with so many of your scenes at a bar?

Don Most: No, not really. I wasn’t thinking about it along those lines. I just looked at each scene and did what I had to do to be as true as possible to it.

Party Favors: What brand of beer did you imagine your character was pounding down?

Don Most: Budweiser.

Party Favors: Did being around the diamond take you back to your days when the Happy Days cast had a ball team?

Don Most: It did take me back so that I wanted to play again.

Party Favors: Did anyone on the team play nasty? Did Tom Bosley ever signal for chin music?

Don Most: What? The Happy Days gang play nasty? Impossible.
Party Favors: Will we be seeing more of you on the upcoming season of Glee?

Don Most: I think I should be coming back since Emma and Will have a wedding planned. I hope so. I really enjoyed doing the show.

Party Favors: Did you get a chance to see the new release of Crazy Mama? (The Jonathan Demme directed film starred Most.) Is it inspirational to see that Cloris Leachman is still busy? Or intimidating that you have to match her stamina?

Don Most: I haven’t seen the new release. I guess I better go out and get it. And it is BOTH inspirational and intimidating to see the kind of stamina that Cloris has. I’m hoping I can come close to that.

Party Favors: Finally, speaking of underdogs of sport, what did you do when Lehigh beat Duke in the NCAA tourney? (Most had attended Leigh before heading out to Los Angeles).

Don Most: I called up a bunch of my old fraternity brothers and we all had a good toast or two for old time sake.

The Yankles is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Magnolia Home Entertainment.

MORE HAPPY DAYS AHEAD?

for those keeping track, the Party Favors has now featuring Henry Winkler and Don Most. This means Anson Williams is now on the clock. Why isn’t there a Potsie Weber sings the greatest hits of the 50s and 60s collection?

DRIVE-IN LOVE

Fans of seeing cinema under the stars are in for a treat with the Sixth annual Drive-In Super Monster-rama running Friday Sept. 7 and Saturday Sept 8 in Vandergrift, PA. The Riverside Drive-in is outside Pittsburgh. For $10 a night you will get to experience THEATRE OF BLOOD, HORROR HOUSE, EQUINOX , SON OF BLOB on Friday. Plus Saturday promises TWINS OF EVIL, COUNTESS DRACULA, RAW MEAT and PSYCHOMANIA. What can you do during the day besides nap? Try to find the locations from George Romero films! You can get more info at www.dvddrive-in.

JR-D13

The John Rhys-Davies Convention for 2013 is getting closer to be a reality. We’re looking for bids from major cities to host the greatest gathering of John Rhys-Davies fanatics ever. Remember that facilities need to be huge enough to handle ninjas from Shogun.

We have run into a roadblock with not quite being able to confirm if John Rhys-Davies can attend his conventions. But fret not, we’ve got a backup plan to hire Jonathan Rhys Meyers from The Tudors. He does a wicked impersonation. And if he can’t make it, we’ve got our feelers out to Mary Louise Parker. Although we’ll do our best to get JRD even if it means offering him breakfast and a hotel room with a working sink. JR-D13 promises to be a Donald Trump level of professionalism. For those of you already planning to attend, the festival will only deal with films and TV shows that featured John Rhys-Davies. That means you can wear costumes for Pysch, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Krod Mandoon, Sliders, Mortal Kombat, Bloodsport, CHiPs, James Bond, I Claudius and many others. Star Wars outfits are forbidden!!! No Darth Vader and his Stormtroopers will be allowed inside the building. That’s right, a convention that will ban your alleged girlfriend from wearing her Slave Leia costume.

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics: Black Oak Conspiracy is considered one of the classics of Deep Fried Southern Flicks. Jesse Vint is a Hollywood stuntman who returns home to Oklahoma. Why? He’s got to take care of his sick mom. He’s a good son. Trouble comes when he determines his mom should be so sick. He uncovers a conspiracy involving the kindly doctor, the sheriff and others eager to swindle land from the elderly. Vint isn’t going to back down from these devious plans that involve Seymour Cassel (Killing of a Chinese Bookie) and Albert Salmi (Caddyshack). This is a film that demands you to open up the living room windows to get the humid night air making you sweat while watching all the action. Black Oak Conspiracy is only being offered through Shout Select at this moment. The movie is being pressed on a real DVD and not burned on a DVD-R. Visit Shoutfactory.com to order it from their online store.

TODDLER HELP

The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block are two releases that should be major helps if you’re the parent of a baby or toddler. Dr. Harvey Karp understand that the one thing any new parent can’t deal with is noise. Happiest Baby covers how to quiet your baby when they’re fresh out. I really regret not seeing this DVD when my toddler was a day old and turning me into Zombie Dad. My baby liked staying up till 5 a.m. and sleeping to the crack of 6 a.m. This is suffering. Dr. Karp’s technique works well with the demo babies. If you are expecting or need a gift for a baby shower – get this gift for the parents. This will be more appreciated than two mega-boxes of diapers. The Happiest Toddler deals with how to calm down your toddler. The little ones are a bundle of nerves and want to things now. They will throw temper tantrums over the slightest of things. Dr. Karp really gets to how to calm down your kid without anyone calling Social Services on your parenting techniques. His “Fast Food” conversation does seem to work with my toddler. It calms her down most of the time. He points out that you should never imagine your two year old is a little person. They’re cave people so stick to the simple and keep you tone obvious.

DVD SHELF

G.I. Joe Renegades: Season 1, Volume 1 reminds us what can happen with a large marketing budget. Cobra is no longer considered an evil organization since they’ve become a major corporation. Cobra Industries has gone legit and become a part of our lives like all the companies discussed on CNBC. G.I. Joe doesn’t buy that Cobra has given up their evil ways to becoming a greedy, profitable corporation who cover up their destruction with non-disclosure agreements. A group of Joes bust into Cobra Pharmaceuticals to get proof of what’s the company’s really doing. They don’t believe the quarterly report. Their spy mission goes wrong and Cobra is depicted in the media as victims of a crime. The episodes sum it up at the start by saying, “Accused of a crime they didn’t commit, a ragtag band of fugitives fights a covert battle to clear their names and expose the insidious enemy that is… Cobra. Some call them outlaws. Some call them heroes. But these determined men and women think themselves only as “Ordinary Joes”. And this is their story.” So it’s kinda like a riff on The A-Team except they aren’t soldiers of fortune helping the innocent. They’re out to expose an evil corporation. Cobra isn’t having to do all the dirty work since the Falcons, a US military outfit are assigned to trackdown the outlaw Joes. The first 13 episodes are included on this set. The show gets the big time seal of approval for letting Clancy Brown (Highlander, Carnivale and Mr. Krabs on SpongeBob SquarePants) voice Destro. Don’t mess with Clancy. This reworking of G.I. Joe works since it’s easy to think that a wicked organization could go legit and continue to destroy the world with products. The good part is their nefarious plots are now business expenses.

Power Rangers Samurai Season 1, Volume 1: The Team Unites & Volume 2: A New Enemy brings back the Power Rangers after taking time off. The Nighloks return to the mortal realm. Only Jayden of the Shiba Clan can fight them off in his Red Samurai outfit. But there’s not enough time in the day for him to fight back. His mentor Ji helps him located new Power Rangers to join his force. This is the focus of Power Rangers Samurai Season 1, Volume 1: The Team Unites. When the five rangers unite, they now form Megazord. There’s a lot of fast sword play when the rangers attack their rubber suited enemies. The big surprise is the return of Bulk! Paul Schrier is back in the role he created in 1993 on the original series. Two decades as Bulk and he’s still huge. He now teams up with Spike, the son of Skull. Now he’s the fatherly mentor who really can’t teach how to be a Samurai to the kid. It’s comedy for the moments when there’s no battles on the screen. Power Rangers Samurai Season 1, Volume 2: A New Enemy brings even more villains to the town. The gang gets poisoned with their only hope being to catch the Swordfish Zord. They must battle Yamiror, Dau and the Moogers. Brides get kidnapped. Both volumes contain 4 episodes. The show looks great with maximum action for young eyeballs. Now I’m getting an Ultraman flashback.

The Sarah Silverman Program: The Complete Series brings back all the magic of the Comedy Central series that made us believe in love. Sarah came close to playing herself as a potty mouth, spoiled brat that’s so self-centered she has her own moons. The series only lasted three seasons of 32 episodes because Comedy Central had to spend more money on Carlos Mencia’s family members. While Sarah is an annoying character, the true stars are Steve Agee and Brian Posehn as a gay couple that live in the same building as Sarah. They represent the first gay couple on TV that weren’t Will and Grace ready. Steve is a schlub and Brian is a metal fiend. They aren’t quite bears, but stoner doughboys who are gay for each other. These two guys are willing to be tortured by a secret government agency to keep their love special. The best part is when they go nuts for Tab soda. They even get their car painted with the tab logo. Things they do for each other. Steve deals with a crisis when Brian swears he’s bisexual. They are the reason why Logo chipped in on the budget for the third season.

That’s not to ignore the work of Sarah Silverman. Her character delves into her stand up persona as the sweet girl with an extreme potty mouth and no mute button. “Humanitarian of the Month” has her take in a homeless Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover). “Not Without My Daughter” nearly reunites her with the girl (Laura Marano) she “aborted.” Clueless Sarah trains the orphan for a kiddy beauty contest a dew years before Toddlers and Tiaras. “Ah, Men” has Sarah dating God. It doesn’t turn out good when God stalks her. For fans of bathroom humor there’s “Doodie” and “Pee.” AS if to predict the series I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, Sarah thinks she’s merely bloated instead of nine months along. Twilight fans will gasp as a young Kirsten Stewart has a bit part in “I Thought My Dad Was Dead, But It Turns Out He’s Not.” “Vow Wow” lets Sarah marry her pet dog. The final episode goes all out on the weirdness when Sarah invites a person who was at Auschwitz to be a special guest at a ceremony. Trouble is the guy wasn’t quite a concentration camp prisoner.
The Sarah Silverman Program should have gone on longer than The World According to Jim. But it had a budget that was a bit more than Workaholics. There’s loads of bonus footage including the original pilot, commentaries and musical numbers. The series ultimately created unlikely gay icons out of Brian and Steve. Nice to have such an outrageous sitcom inside one boxset.

The Tribe Series 1, Part 2 continues the saga of a world without adults. A mutant virus has swept across the globe wiping out the adult population. What’s left is teens, tweens and wee ones barely figuring out what is necessary to keep humanity existing. The surviving kids quickly form cliques to form communities. The nice kids end up as the Mall Rats that live inside a mall. The Locos are insanely decked out in punk gear. New tribes arrive in the second half of the first season. This includes the Tribe Circus who don’t clown around. The first episodes have the Mall Rats way too focused on a wedding. Things naturally get in the way besides the usual teenage drama that normally occurs as hormones overtake reason. A few tribes have become big in the human trafficking business. The kids get to worry about being sold into slavery for a can of baked beans. There seems to be an outbreak of food thievery. This is rather charming when compared to what appears to be an outbreak of the original virus. Has it mutated so it no longer affects adults? Can the kids find a cure with their limited science skills? Luckily there’s a few smart ones in the batch instead of a generation of Sixteen and Pregnant superstars. The show is soap opera addictive with its Degrassi Post-Bioapocalypse story. Oddly enough the show didn’t air on SoapNet, but was Encore WAM. I thought that Encore WAM only gave updates about Andrew Ridgeley’s life after George Michael. The bonus feature is a 25 minute making of special from the show’s original run. If you only get hooked on one tv series about scavenging teens in an adult-less society, let it be The Tribe.

Hey Dude: Season Three contains Nickelodeon’s original horsing around comedy. These are the middle 13 episodes of the show that introduced America to Christine Taylor before she became the new Marcia Brady and married Ben Stiller. Hey Dude focused on a dude ranch run by a former New York City accountant that craved the simple life of a cowboy. Naturally he learns there’s more pressure when your employees are a bunch of nags. This season lets the boss take time off from the ranch only to have his replacement nearly drive it off a cliff. Taylor pretends to be a rich girl in order to impress the posh guests. “The Bad Seed” proves the customer isn’t always right when they’re an utter jerk. The big score of this set is a visit from the legendary Captain Lou Albano! Rock and Wrestling connection rides the range. Captain Lou Albano is best known for playing Cyndi Lauper’s dad in “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” This is a fun show for kids who grew up watching it in the late ’80s. It’s more fun if you’re devoted to the genius of Captain Lou Albano. How come Cowboy Bob Orton didn’t’ visit the Ranch?

Rocko’s Modern Life: Season Three makes me ask that simple question: This was on Nickelodeon? Rocko should have been an Adult Swim superstar. He’s a constantly flustered Wallaby living in O-Town with his best friends being Heffer, a cow, and Filburt, a turtle. There’s a strange joy as the world conspires against him with weirdness. “Belch of Destiny” presents Heffer as an overgrown Scout whose big talent is burping. “Sugar Frosted Frights” is a Halloween special bound to scare Filburt. “Camera Shy” makes Rocko an accidental adult video superstar when he’s captured on tape sleep walking naked. Can he survive this arthouse hit? “Fortune Cookie” makes Filburt even more unlucky than before. “Speaking Terms” drags Rocko and Filburt onto the set of the Big Nosey show. They need to get back together and nothing helps relationships like a televised talkshow. “Scrubbin’ Down Under” makes Rocko the victim of unwanted publicity after he forgets to floss after eating. This is very educational for kids. The third season of Rocko’s Modern Life was the final one with creator Joe Murray at the helm. He would turn the major duties over to Stephen Hillenburg (eventual creator of SpongeBob Squarepants) for one more season. The voices includes Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911, Tom Kenny (Mr. Show) and Mr. Lawrence (not from Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence). The penultimate season refines the quirky nature of Rocko that makes is much more than a kiddie show on a kiddie channel. They even have Rocco take over an animated TV show. For those who have been enjoying the first two seasons, this third go around keeps up the freaky fun from 1995. Rocco is essential viewing for anyone the wants something smarter than the Seth MacFarlane formula of animated success.

Phineas and Ferb: The Perry File brings together a few episodes focused on the most heroic platypus in animation history. Phineas and Ferb is a major hit with elementary school boys since it features two brothers who create amazing devices and their pet platypus Perry. What they don’t know about their pal is that he’s Agent P of OWCA (Organization Without a Cool Acronym). While the boys are doing something cool, Perry battles Dr. Doofenshmirtz. This boxset contains six episodes: “No More Bunny Business/Spa Day,” “Split Personality/Brain Drain,” “Ask a Foolish Question/Misperceived Monotreme,” “Candace Disconnected/Magic Carpet Ride,” “Mommy Can You Hear Me? /Road Trip,” “Perry The Actorpus/Bullseye!” and “Escape from Phineas Tower/The Remains of the Platypus.” Always good to end on a Merchant-Ivory joke. The show features the voice of Richard O’Brien as Lawrence, the dad of the boys. That’s right, Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show is now a Disney superstar. While not featured on these episodes, Tim Curry has also appeared on the show. Soon these kids will feel extra comfortable doing “The Time Warp” again. The boxset is a perfect gift since it features a Perry activity Pack that comes with lots of games and a puzzle. It should keep a six year old busy for the summer trip to the beach. There’s a digital copy of the DVD in case you want to put it on your tablet. The other bonus features include ” Nerves of Teal” with the promise of ” Do you have nerves of teal? When OWCA (Organization Without a Cool Acronym) wants you! See if you have what it takes to become like Agent P in this spy recruiting video.” And a tour of the Platybus!

The Garfield Show: Summertime Adventures brings the long running comic strip cat into the world of CGI. The series was made in France which helps increases Garfield’s ability to express major attitude. “Perfect Pizza” has Garfield upset when a major pizza chain arrive in the town ready to shutdown his favorite small pizzeria. Turns out the new place’s secret is a machine that can turn cardboard, ketchup and glue into a cheese pie. Can he save the stomachs of the city? “Extreme Housebreaking” is another futile attempt to tame Garfield. “Mailman Blues” continues the battle between the cat and the Postal workers of the world. “It’s a Cheese World” is a theme park that can’t let mice inside. “Super Me” is Garfield wanting to become a hero. But isn’t he the villain to Mondays and lasagnas everywhere? If you want to see Garfield kick Odie in a CGI environment, you’ll get plenty of that on this collection.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea comes from a time when Kris Kristofferson was hot property. The film adapts Yukio Mishima’s novel by moving it from Japan to England. Sarah Miles is widow raising her son when she means Kris. He’s a sailor who doesn’t mind pulling into Sarah’s port. There’s a lot off carnal fun as the two get involved. What doesn’t go right is the son. He’s fallen in with a gang of nutjob fascists who cut up cats for fun. He’s not happy at the prospects of Kris being his stepdad. He’s a twisted kid who does get into watching the action between mom and her new man. Stories like this never end nicely. The Sailor Who Fell is one of those jaw dropping freaky films from the ’70s. Kris was a good actor. He was one of the better parts of the Blade movies and the reason to break out the DVD of Heaven’s Gate. Sarah Miles looks great in 1080p. It’s easy to understand why Kris wouldn’t notice what a nut her kid was when he’s constantly distracted by Sarah getting him into bed. The film isn’t for the squeamish. There’s a lot of moments that makes Sailor shocking for the 21st Century.

HOLMBY HILLS – What was the pinnacle of ’70s TV? Alleged pop culture professors and experts will go on about Roots or the Watergate hearings. But they’re all wrong. The ultimate moment of television that brought together all the outrageous joys of the decade can be found in Playboy’s Roller Disco and Pajama Party. During a quiet night in November of 1979, Hugh Hefner served America a visual feast that made your grandmother’s Thanksgiving dinner look like a trip to the Sizzler.

This was a special that promised two things: Playmates in skimpy outfits and more stars than the Oscars. The show delivered on both which is more than you can say about the Evel Kenievel’s Death Defiers that didn’t feature Evel jumping the sharks in the live footage. There were plenty of Bunnies jumping around in their skates and prancing around in their pajamas.

Many Americans didn’t get to see this special since they had prudish ABC network station owners. This included my local station if my memory is reliable. They might have run a marathon of Billy Graham to distract Jesus from seeing what was being shown in the cool parts of the USA. Since this was the era before cheap VCRs, you couldn’t have you cousin in Boston tape a copy and mail the tape down for forbidden video night. Luckily we now have youtube so those denied by the morality squad can finally see what they were denied. The special has been broken up into four parts. The show has the perfect host in Richard Dawson (The Family Feud). Supposedly Richard had a wild streak that outdid Bob Crane while they worked on Hogan’s Heroes. The first segment gives us time with Playmate Dorothy Stratten. Her tragic short life is covered in Bob Fosse’s Star 80. If you look carefully you can catch glimpses of Peter Bogdanovich who was dating her at the time. Most importantly is Wayland Flowers and Madame riffing to the music of Chuck Mangione. It’s a King of the Hill moment. Hef’s Birthday Olympics with the San Diego Chicken makes me feel all my birthdays have been so lame.

Segment two is all about the Roller Disco action. Hef takes down the nets on the tennis court and lets the girls go around and around. The disco version of Pink Floyd’s “Have A Cigar” should have been a massive hit. Anyone who mocks roller disco will have a change of heart after watching this. Girls in bikinis on wheels shaking it to a cover of Curtis Mayfield’s “Move On Up” is the formula for success. For the ladies at home, there’s the Village People rolling by the screen. What lady of the ’70s didn’t want a touch the feathers on the Indian’s headdress? There’s also a flashback to tennis featuring Bill Cosby before he became encased in ugly sweaters. The most important figure is James Caan (The Godfather and Rollerball). He’s always been legendary as a stud at the Playboy Mansion. You get to glimpse him in his natural habitat on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. The best moment is when he appears to be only wearing a pair of overalls and rollerskates. Caan looks ready to roll off toward the infamous grotto with Miss September, May and June. He’ll get there fast if he doesn’t clip Jim Brown (Slaughter). This is the moment Hugh Hefner is stuck inside as he meanders around The Girls Next Door. All of his dreams are wheeling around to the disco hits on his tennis court. Most of mine are now of this event and I wasn’t there in person.

Don’t laugh too hard when the local news anchor distance himself from the special. You know who turned off this special in disgust? Anyone who realized Hef didn’t invite them over to the Mansion to shake it down with the Village People. Wayland Flowers and Madame also brighten up the dark room. Did James Caan book the performers to up his chances of scoring with Miss December and Miss July? Although Madame might have gotten stiff with Miss November. The Village People perform the ironic disco tune “Rock and Roll Is Back Again.” Leatherman Glenn Hughes gets funky with the Playmates. He locked eyes with Stratten and she was into him even if he was the Leatherman. So much raw sexual power exudes from Glenn. James Caan broke a sweat thinking his Mansion stud crown was going to be swiped by the megastache. I spoke with Randy Jones, the Cowboy, about this special and swears it was a fun to make as you’ll have watching it. He has fond memories of hanging with Dorothy Stratten. He’s the real reason she didn’t have time to chit chat with Richard Dawson. We get a montage of the future Playmates of the month. Such fond memories of seeing these women in discarded Playboys down by the creek.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the legendary Chuck McCann was in the mansion for this epic event! Now the party has gone into overdrive. I’m so thrilled to see a Playboy party that doesn’t include Fred Durst, Bill Maher, Drew Carey or Paris Hilton. What a special time this was. Is that Patty Hearst? The Village People promote their latest single which has the equally ironic title “Ready For the 80’s.” Glenn once more works his magic on a Playmate Dorothy Stratten. The creepy guy who pushes his way forward to dance with a Playmate next to the Village People should have been arrested by the cop. He’s guilty of obstruction of hotness from the camera. Things wrap up by the pool with Chuck Mangione providing the cool jazz for young lovers in lust.

Damn that station manager that refused to run this on a Friday night. This could have changed my life back in 1979. If you ask Hef what he wants the afterlife to look like – this is his vision of heaven. This is almost my version of heaven. Except it wouldn’t include James Caan cause he’d be swooping in on his rollerskates to steal away the Playmate that wants me in the grotto. If someone asks you “What’ was the point of the ’70s?” Play this video for them. Let them see the glory of the “Playboy Roller Disco and Pajama Party.” Odds are high that shortly after it ends, they’ll cry and declare they were born at the wrong time.

I’m begging Hugh Hefner to fund a documentary that breaks down the special with the stars that made it so memorable. VH1 would run this around the clock. You could make this an E! series.

STOOGES SCRATCH AND LOSE

Down here in North Carolina, the lottery folks made a deal to have the Three Stooges on a scratch and win game. As a Stoogeoholic, this is a cool idea since it’s the classic Moe, Larry and Curley line up and not the cast of the new movie on the tickets. But then the “we know better than you morons in marketing” screwed up worse than Curly solving a plumbing issue. They made the grand prize $20,000 on a $2 ticket.

What’s the point of having the Three Stooges if the prize don’t have threes in them. Grand prize ought to be $33,333. And why charge $2 for a ticket when it ought to be $3 a pop? If you just wanted to deal in the number 2, they should have just hired Abbott and Costello. How much money was wasted on the marketing genius who thought up this campaign? I’ll bet two dollars that the schmuck that signed off on this never watched the Three Stooges cause it was too violent for their tender eyes.

COOL BAND NAME

VHS or Beta is my favorite band name of the month. They have inspired me to start my new band Laserdisc or Selectavision. Their new album Diamonds & Dub is now out. Here’s a single from them.

MEDICAL SHAME

I’m shocked with the recent news that Disney Jr.’s new sensation Doc McStuffin was charged with Medicare fraud in Florida back in 2008.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Walking Tall Trilogy is the Movie Event of the spring with the greatest redneck action epic ever made. This is the Lord of the Rings of deep fried Southern action. Getting to see it in Blu-ray will make you want you to buy an HD video projector so you can watch it on a makeshift drive in – like God intended. Walking Tall is a brilliant film on all levels. Buford Pusser quits his pro wrestling dream because he’s sick of the nasty underbelly. He returns home to his boyhood home in Tennessee to raise his family right. He hasn’t a clue how bad things really are in this idealistic town. There’s an extreme underbelly to his town that involves moonshine, gambling, prostitution and drugs. The outskirts of the town are overrun with illegal nightclubs with casino action. What makes things worse is that the gambling is rigged for the house. He gets nasty when a buddy loses his money during a crooked game. The establishment takes exception to Pusser’s accusation. All hell breaks out between him and the goons. Even though Pusser is nearly killed, the local sheriff doesn’t care much for investigating. He’s on the take from the redneck mafia. When he gets payback, the sheriff books him. The law is not on his side. Pusser decides to not merely take the law in his own hands, but to get elected the new sheriff. He won’t carry a gun so he gets noted for taking a piece of lumber into the action. He won’t go on the take so the redneck mafia go full force on him. The offensive is gruesome, but Pusser won’t buckle. This is an amazingly great badass cinema experience. Getting to see Joe Don Baker in 1080p brings out his transformation into Pusser. Joe Don Baker was robbed of an Oscar nomination. He’s perfect in the movie. He can go from lovable lunkhead to hardcore bent for revenge without losing credibility. John Glover (Diamonds Are Forever) is the deputy that reforms his way when Pusser takes over. Real life siblings Dawn Lyn (My Three Sons) and Leif Garrett (Behind the Music play Pusser’s kids. The greatness of the film can be felt in the crappy remake starring The Rock. The new guys completely failed to capture the brilliance and power.

You might even want to stand up and applaud this movie in your TV room. Do it for Joe Don Baker who proves he was more than the star of Mitchell on MST3K. The movie was a massive hit which meant it was ready for a sequel. The producers decided to replace Baker with the real deal. Pusser was going to play himself. Right after making the deal, Pusser went back to Tennessee and died in a car wreck. Rumors swirl as to what really happened to Pusser. The saga had to be told and Bo Svenson walked tall enough to hold the big stick. Walking Tall Part II picks up the story with Pusser still in the hospital recovering from having his face blown apart. This helps explain why Pusser has different chin. The Redneck mafia isn’t done with Pusser. They can’t afford to lose control of this town’s vice rackets. They make another attempt on Pusser’s life bringing in two hitmen. They have to stop Pusser from smashing their moonshine operation. There’s a nasty cross country car chase that really cuts through the countryside.

Final Chapter – Walking Tall wraps up the life of Pusser. He finally gets voted out of office. When things seem bleakest, Hollywood comes a knocking. Is Pusser willing to sell his story? Is he safe from the redneck mafia now that he’s not wearing a star? No need to give too much away although you’ll know why there’s no commentary track from Pusser on the movies. Final Chapter plays hard for the tears. “The Real Buford Pusser” lets his family and friends tell his story. His legacy still lingers in law enforcement. There’s also time with the cast and crew. Leif talks about his time with both Joe Don Baker and Bo. Baker contributes an audio interview to the documentary. There’s vintage trailers and the original making of featurette for The Final Chapter. All three films bring out the Southern locations in the high def transfers. This is the perfect way to appreciate the legacy of Buford Pusser.

DVD SHELF

Route 66: The Complete Series brings together all four seasons of the coolest show ever aired on TV. Two guys, one Corvette and the road was the perfect set up for a series that promised cross country adventure, romance and drama. Route 66 is the legendary highway that snaked from Chicago to California. There’s a lot of place to pull off and explore for two characters. Route 66 really did shoot across America instead of faking America on a Hollywood backlot supplemented with travelogue b-roll. Buz (George Maharis) and Tod (Adam 12‘s Martin Milnar) truly saw America through the windshield.They were like characters in a Jack Keroauc novel except they weren’t so scruffy, high and writing their lifestory at rest stops. Buz and Tod were just about keeping the trip going one more town over. Tod was a formerly rich kid whose dad died and the only thing left was the Corvette. Buz was a hard knocks student who knew how to tempt the ladies. Together they made the perfect team sharing the wheel. The series was part of the original Nick At Nite programming block. This was one of those strange reasons to visit the annoying person that had cable in the mid-80s.

The first season kicks off with the boys lost in Mississippi for “Black November.”. Even though they’re clean cut guys, the locals treat them like the dirty hippies. George Kennedy takes a hating to them. Future spaceman Keir Dullea (2001: A Space Odyssey) puts his feet in the Mississippi mud. “The Swan Bed” involves bird smuggling in New Orleans. “The Man on the Monkey Board” gives the double team of a young Bruce Dern (Big Love) and Ed Asner (Lou Grant). “The Strengthening Angel” nearly runs over Suzanne Pleshette (The Bob Newhart Show). “A Fury Slinging Flame” sets Leslie Nielsen nuts with the fear the Soviet are going to nuke America. “The Quick and the Dead” puts Tod into the Riverside Grand Prix. “Play It Glissando” with Jack Lord and Anne Francis as a troubled couple in the jazz scene. Star Trek‘s DeForest Kelley beams into “The Clover Throne.” “Eleven, the Hard Way” makes Buz and Tod protect Walter Matthau’s gambling cash. “The Newborn” is a fight over a baby that includes Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) and Robert Duvall (The Godfather). “The Opponent” makes Darren McGavin (Kolchak: The Night Stalker) a washed up boxer wanting to prove himself.

Season two brings back familiar faces. “A Month of Sundays” puts Anne Francis into Butte, Montana. “Blue Murder” makes Suzanne Pleshette a flirty wife. Buz enjoys her attention, but her husband might be a homicidal maniac. Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) is part of the family. Time for them to hit the road. “Goodnight Sweet Blues” has a near collision with singer Ethel Waters. She’s dying and wants to reunite with her band on last time. The boys have to do it for her. Included in the group is legend Coleman Hawkins. Robert Duvall (Apocalypse Now) returns as a Bostonian in “Birdcage on My Foot.” “First-Class Mouliak” makes trouble for Robert Redford when a girl disappears in Cleveland. “The Mud Nest” slight spooks with Lon Chaney Jr. (The Wolf Man). Lee Marvin is just badass great in “Mon Petit Chou.” As if this is a column needs a theme, James Caan leaps into “…And the Cat Jumped Over the Moon.” He doesn’t skate around in overalls. Is Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.) really a neo-Nazi in “To Walk with the Serpent.” There’s Texas size cast in “A Long Piece of Mischief” with Ben Johnson, Slim Pickens and Denver Pyle. “How Much a Pound is Albatross?” unleashes Julie Newmar (Batman‘s Catwoman) on the boys. “Go Read the River” marks Route 66 being blessed by the Dean of Thespians, Harold Gould. “Love Is a Skinny Kid” not only features Tuesday Weld and Cloris Leachman, but a skinny Burt Reynolds. He doesn’t try to beat the Corvette with his Bandit-mobile. The boys work at a zoo in “Hell Is Empty, All the Devils Are Here.” Peter Graves (Mission: Impossible) is the big time trainer.

People often compare Route 66 to The Fugitive since they dealt with people roaming America. They differ in that Tod and Buz aren’t being hunted down by the cops. “One Tiger to a Hill” has them cross paths with Dr. Kimble. Not really since David Janssen hadn’t started The Fugitive. But he’s got a temper at this point. Buster Keaton provides the slapstick on “Journey to Ninevah.” “Lizard’s Leg and Owlet Wing” gathers Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr. at a hotel outside of Chicago. They’re plotting their return to scare America. Can Buz and Tod stop them? Buz does get stopped this season. George Maharis had gotten sick while making one of the episodes. Because of the travel and work schedule, Maharis couldn’t get well. They tried to give him time by having solo Tod episodes including hooking up with Julie Newmar in “Give the Old Cat a Tender Mouse.” Maharis had to leave the show. This meant a new rider for Tod. “Fifty Miles from Home” picks up Linc (Glenn Corbett). Linc is a Vietnam Vet. Even though it’s only 1963, Linc feels something has changed within him after his time in Southeast Asia. He wants to find a meaning to life by his time on the road. “The Cruellest Sea of All” features the mermaids of Weeki Wachee in Crystal River, Florida. “Who Will Cheer My Bonnie Bride” gives us a young Gene Hackman (The French Connection) and Rip Torn (The Larry Sanders Show). Lon Chaney Jr. returns once more in “Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are.”

The fourth (and final season) is all Tod and Linc. “Same Picture, Different Frame” paints around Joan Crawford. Diane Baker is flightly. “Build Your Houses with Their Backs to the Sea” brings us The Shatner! He’s part of an angry family in Maine. Here’s a little clip of the man who would soon be Captain Kirk on Star Trek.

The road does end for the duo at the end of the season in “Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way.” Not to spoil the episode, but Barbara Eden works magic on one of them. This is the first time season four has come out on DVD. Linc’s time on the show does get underplayed since Buz had dominated those early years. He’s not the Cousin Oliver of the series. Although maybe his character being a Vietnam vet being lost might have been a little too much for viewers who were still being sold the winnable war concept by the White House and the network news. The bonus features include highlights of a panel at the Paley Center from 1990. George Maharis enjoys his time with creator Leonard Goldberg. Turns out the show evolved from a trip Goldberg took with a pal in his youth and not just watering down On the Road. There’s a documentary about the Corvette. A reel of commercials that ran during the series is a hoot. Route 66: The Complete Series is a marathon of cross country fun that will at least take you back to the early days of Nick at Nite.

Hazel: The Complete Third Season brings another 32 episodes of TV’s favorite domestic helper. Shirley Booth doesn’t really have to scrub the floors since the tornado following her picks up all the dirt. She took over the Baxters. Mr. Baxter (Don DeFore), Mrs. Baxter (Whitney Blake) and their son (Bobby Buntrock) are helpless without Hazel’s meddling ways. “Potluck a la Mode” sends the Baxters out for the night. Trouble is their dinner guests arrive on the wrong night. Instead of sending them home, Hazel whips up a delightful dinner. “Hazel Scores a Touchdown” reminds us that Hazel could have made it in the NFL. She has to match pigskin talk with Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper on Gilligan’s Island). “Hazel and the Halfback” provides a superstar guest appearance from Frank Gifford! Long before he married Kathie Lee Gifford and worked on Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell, Gifford was a superstar for the New York Giants. This episode is like when Joe Namath appeared on The Brady Bunch. Because it wouldn’t be a true season without an appearance by Harold Gould (Rhoda), the Dean of Thespians makes it over for “Campaign Manager.” Jamie Farr (MASH) appears without a dress in “Let’s Get Away From It All.” “Maid for a Day” celebrates Hazel with a touch of Harvey Korman (Blazing Saddles). Hazel spoils viewers for what to expect when hiring a maid for the house. She took care of whatever needed her attention and not just her contracted services. Season 3 is in full color and not black and white.

S.W.A.T.: The Final Season is the only full season the series had. That’s shocking. This was the most exciting show of the mid-70s. The theme song hit #1 in the disco nation of 1976. This was about the same time ABC pulled the plug on the production. How could a show starring Robert Urich get the axe? Remember how sophisticated Police Story depicted a cop’s life? Throw that out the window. This Aaron Spelling production was about going full force and not sparing the blanks. The S.W.A.T. unit is headed by Lt. Dan “Hondo” Harrelson. He’s an old school cop that must have attended the self righteous police academy with Eliot Ness (The Untouchables) and Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O). He’s hardcore Johnny Law. Sgt. David “Deacon” Kay is his less uptight second in command. Officer T.J. McCabe (James Coleman) is on the verge of becoming uptight like Hondo. Officer Dominic Luca (Mark Shera) provides the comic relief. Officer Jim Street (VEGA$‘s Robert Urich) is the troubled stud. The only real woman that can come between them and their firepower is lunchlady Rose Marie (The Dick Van Dyke Show). The second season is the show’s only full season and they unloaded a lot of star power from their rifles. “Dead Tide” has Sal Mineo (Rebel Without A Cause) in one of his final roles before his murder. He’s leading a crime team. Susan Dey (The Partridge Family), Christopher George (Rat Patrol), Phil Silvers and Lesley Ann Warren have to dodge the bullets. “Dealers in Death” features the mandatory guest appearance from John Vernon (Animal House). “Time Bomb” saves on the budget when S.W.A.T. trains on a movie’s backlot. William Smith is a disgruntled ex-guard wanting to blow up the backlot as revenge. “Criss Cross” makes a pre-Rocky Carl Weathers part of a warehouse heist crew. Joe Turkel (The Shining) gets to creep up “Courthouse.” Anitra Ford (The Big Bird Cage) is part of a break out scheme. “Ordeal” and Strike Force puts Frank Gorshin (Batman‘s The Riddler) back in the crime racket. “Silent Night, Deadly Night” gives a bullet filled Christmas stocking stuffer with Anne Francis (Honey West). “The Running Man” is packed with Leslie Nielsen (Police Squad), Donna Mills, Forrest Tucker (F Troop) and Bruce Glover (Walking Tall). James Hong (Kung Fu Panda) amps up “The Chinese Connection.” “Any Second Now” gets Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) to show up. Even though S.W.A.T. was a hot show, the network realized it was just too damn violence. They were firefight prone. There mysterious city was a prone to massive bullet rains. I’m thankful that Shout! Factory wrapped up this short series after Sony released the first half season several years back.

The River: The Complete First Season is really the complete series unless Netflix revives the show. The eight episodes were masterminded by Steven Spielberg and Paranormal Activity‘s director Oren Peli. Bruce Greenwood (Exotica) is a TV host that would take people into the wild to see the magic of the wilderness. He heads up the Amazon River for what turns into his last exploration. Nobody knows what happened to him. He’s memorialized until his emergency beacon goes off. In order to fund their rescue mission, Greenwood’s wife (Leslie Hope) and son (Joe Anderson) agree to film their journey for a special. They are lost in a watery world of magic and spirits. The living souls of missing folks appear to the team. People are brought back to life. It does its best to creep out the audience using the documentary form to surprise. Shame that the show couldn’t get picked up or reach 13 episodes since it’s a spooky journey up the river. Greenwood does flourish as a cross between Steve Irwin and Marlin Perkins. The bonus features include two commentary tracks, deleted scenes and a documentary about the watery production.

Goon might be the greatest hockey comedy since the Vancouver Canucks. Except at the end of this film, no whiny fans are going to toss your car in their hissy fit. You might laugh hard enough to break a rib. This is the only Seann William Scott movie you ever need to see in your life. Don’t bother with those lame American Pie flicks. This is Seann at his prime. He’s a dim nightclub bouncer who finds a career in minor league hockey when he beats the crap out of a player that comes into the stands. His buddy Jay Baruchel (Almost Famous) turns his fight into a sensation on his sports show. The only thing keeping him from stardom is his inability to skate. The coach won’t give up. “You’ve been touched by the fist of God.” His goon skills gets him up to the semi-show. But can Seann truly tackle the greatest thug player of all time in Liev Schreiber. This is his most impressive work outside of voicing over the HBO sports documentaries. His mullet and pornstache puts Kenny Powers to shame. He makes that head hair look cool. He’s more imposing here than in that crummy Wolverine movie. You might not want to sit too close to the screen when he locks eyes and drops gloves. You might poop your pants in fear that he’s coming after your cookie dough ass. He’s a growling monster on blades. He’s all three Hanson brothers rolled into one fierce pornstache. This is film gets even tougher with Kim Coates (Tig on Sons of Anarchy) as the coach in Halifax. Keep your eyes peeled for a cameo from a Trailer Park Boys legend. All those new hockey fans in Los Angeles (not including Wil Wheaton) ought to grab a copy of Goon so they can understand the sport. The bar has been risen high for Kevin Smith’s Hit Somebody. He might as well walk away from that project cause it ain’t going to be as good as Goon. Smith can’t write a better than an inspirational speech that declares, “We got to be underground gay porn hard!” I don’t think so. Goon is so much better than that chimp playing hockey movie. There’s even a strange romance with hockey loving gal Alison Pill (Scott Pilgram‘s drummer). Watch this film before the Cup is filled with champagne. This is the Gladiator of the Blue Line. There’s plenty of bonus features including auditions of the goalie, lots of bloopers on ice, behind the scenes specials and Jay Baruchel on the commentary track.

DURHAM — The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival remained a four day event perfect for people that want to want to watch movies and not deal with hurdles, hassles and hype. The half dozen screens are all within a single complex so once you arrived in downtown Durham, you’re not having to base screening choices on bus schedules and traffic patterns. The parking deck across the street charged only $2 a day for festivalgoers. You know how much it’ll cost you to park your car across that street at the New York Film Festival? Your $2 won’t cover the time it takes to warn the audience to turn off their cellphones. People attending the festival aren’t hung up on parties and swag shacks for the stars. This is all about a weekend appreciating some of the best documentaries on big screens instead of a streaming service.

This year’s festival brought together over 70 world premieres, North American premieres and the cream of recent festivals. Even with a jump start of watching sneaks of a half a dozen titles, I still missed so many titles that people swore were great. But I didn’t feel like I’d chose wrongly in my selections so much as knowing that there too much goodness to absorb on the schedule. There was still more pork for one fork

My intake started with the short Kiss the Paper. Director and cameraperson Fiona Otway follows Alan Runfeldt around his letterpress workshop. He prints the old fashion way by putting letters together. It’s like the press shop at Williamsburg except with a Jerry Jeff Walker sticker on a cabinet. The movie about a traditionalist worked well with Eating Alabama. This film is the natural progression from King Corn and Food Inc. Can you really eat all farm fresh untouched by Frankenstein hormone science and pesticide genetic tinkering? Director Andrew Beck Grace and his wife proclaim that they will spend the next year only eating food that’s grown and raised in Alabama. This quickly proves to be a frustrating experience as there’s no much offered at local farmers markets that’s really that local. He gets involved with CSAs and growing veggies in his front yard. Is it really enough to give them a well balanced diet? What must they do to make their own bread? Ultimately the film dwells upon his own family since his great grandfather was a farmer. Why do people move away from the land? What does it take to survive as a farmer and someone not eager to have everything that goes in their mouth made from corn syrup? He also learns the joy of sharing the harvest with friends. After the screening, I cornered Grace for a quick chat about eating right.

Young Bird Season is a cinema verite account of a pigeon racing club in Braintree, Mass. Nellie Kluz hangs out with the guys at their club while the trailer filled with pigeons are taken off to Pennsylvania to be released. Thanks to computer technology, they can now properly register when a pigeon has returned to its coop after a flight across New England. I still want to know how much the pigeon release trailer cost. The view of it releasing the pigeons was a rush to the eyes. Nation is what would happen of Nike hired Jim Jaramusch to do their next ad campaign. It follows a mysterious young man for 40 minutes while he trains for an unexplained event. The long shots showed off the Catalonian countryside which was good on the big screen since it was hard to figure out what the hell was happening besides a guy doing a lot of roadwork and real leaps. Is he training for the Olympics or some extreme sport competition? There’s finally a payoff at the bullring which is interesting except we still have no insight into the guy. Director Homer Etmainan keeps his camera so far back that it feels like a stalkermentry. Did the guy know he’s in this movie?

Friday night originally seemed like it was going to be a painful choice between Marley, the documentary about musical legend Bob Marley and Samsara, the sequel to Baraka. Luckily I was able to catch Marley early. If you own a copy of Bob Marley’s Legend on CD, you need to watch the film. It breaks down his life, his religion, his impact and his iconic status. Marley had to deal with the fact that his father was a 61 year old white married Englishman and his mother a 16 year old island native. Turns out his mom wasn’t the only teenager in the area knocked up by Mr. Marley. Bob was raised in the intense Trenchtown neighborhood in Jamaica. The only thing going for him was his music. He brought his reggae sounds to the world along with his dreadlocks. He quickly proved to be a political force in his violent homeland as he did his best to make his fellow Jamaicans stop a bit of the violence. This also led to an assassination attempt. The performance footage show that he was a force of nature who was only stopped by cancer.

Samsara was the proper choice to catch on the big screen since Director Ron Fricke and Producer Mark Magidson sent a glorious 35mm print of the film that was shot on 70mm. I know the movie industry is all over going about turn all HD Video, but this is a movie that needs the dream state flicking that comes from watch a movie and not viewing big TV. There’s no plot to the film that is a visual tour of the world and people within it. Like Baraka, it’s a religious experience as the sounds and images flow over your eyes and ears. This is an E-Ticket ride through the motions around us. They tweak the footage of cities so that nightscapes look like videogame graphics. NASA should put this movie in space probes so that distant cultures can gets a glimpse of what we’re about. If Samsara comes to a real movie theater (one that has film projectors and not video projectors), go see it on the big screen. You should see it either way, but video doesn’t give you the persistence of memory brain buzz.

Mr. Cao Goes to Washington follows the end of a Congressman’s time under the Capitol Dome. Joseph Cao was elected to Congress from a district in New Orleans that was known for electing black democrats. Cao was a Republican born in Vietnam. He got lucky when the incumbent was busted hiding around $90,000 in his freezer. Cao became a marked man by his own party when he voted for the first draft of healthcare reform. He knew his district needed this kind of help. Even though he voted against the final healthcare reform bill, the damage was done. He was branded a RINO. Director S. Leo Chiang gets a tight view of Cao struggling to raise funds and support for his reelection. This is the price of daring to be bipartisan in a world where Republican pundits want to eat their own. I sat down during breakfast with Chiang to discuss the film with Chiang. Mr. Cao is already scheduled to air on PBS before the election.

This year’s festival had two films about Iceland yet neither featured Bjork. I Send You This Place sends Andrea Sisson and Peter Ohs to the island nation to work for 10 months. Even in a remote snow covered landscape, Sisson can’t escape her brother’s issues back in Ohio. It’s an odd travelogue mixed with an airy psychodrama. There was something oddly charming about Andrea in the icy environment. The stylish edge to the cinematography and the sound mix engages the eyes and ears. The big shock comes when she cuts her hair. At the end of the film, I felt like I knew her which made it a bit startling when we bumped into her while getting a drink. It was sort of hard to ask any questions cause she’d already said so much on the screen. I ended up asking about the big red headphones she wore on the island.

Chasing Ice returned me to the freezing Iceland. The camera locks on the glaciers that are melting at an alarming rate. James Balog is a National Geographic photographer who wants to capture the receding nature of the ice formations in a way that will make people understand that Climate Change is happening. He sets up the Extreme Ice Survey. They position time lapse cameras in Iceland, Greenland, Montana (Glacier National Park) and Alaska. The time lapse shots of the receding ice is remarkable. However the reason to haul yourself down to the theater to watch this huge is the big finale when they capture a massive glacier cracking off into the ocean. How massive? A chunk of ice the size of lower Manhattan is unleashed. Nothing you see in The Avengers will match the destructive beauty of this moment. If you’re a documentary filmmaker, there’s no greater piece of footage than Fox News‘ Sean Hannity blowing hard. He’s the perfect doughboy douchebag with his pompous attitude billowing from his cheeks. Watching him claim what you’ve just seen is a lie is priceless. He popped up in enough films at Full Frame to get him declared the Jessica Chastain of documentaries.

Big Boys Gone Bananas!* is a nightmare film for documentary filmmakers. Fredrik Gertten made a documentary about the lawsuit against Dole Food won by Nicaraguan banana pickers. It featured the head of the company explaining at the trial that he knew a pesticide could cause workers in the fields to go sterile, but he didn’t care. Dole went on a full out attack on the movie and Gertten even though they hadn’t seen it. They fought its screening at the Los Angeles Film Festival which was forced to read a statement to the audience that the film is a lie. It’s a sad moment in kowtowing. Dole digs into the national media to intimidate newspaper and tv reporters to debase the film. They want to sue Gertten into submission and poverty. Luckily Gertten isn’t going to cower and beg. He goes back to Sweden and plays offense against the billion dollar corporation. What’s fearful is how lazy today’s working journalist have become. They’ve been trained to not upset advertisers. They have no problem rewriting a company’s press release and declare it a news story. We live in scary times where corporations are not only people – they are Gods that don’t want to be questioned.

Girl Model is the dirty side of America’s Next Top Model. Teenage Nadya is plucked from a giant model competition in Siberia to get a contract and a plane ticket to Japan for stardom. Things don’t turn out so great as the Japanese fashion crowd aren’t too overwhelmed by her. She does have the good fortune to be represented by an agency run by a guy named Messiah. The story isn’t just about her. Ashley is the scout that found her. She’s an ex-model who recruits around Russia. She’s a complex person when she share home videos from a decade earlier when she hated modeling. Yet now she’s luring other girls into the career. She doesn’t seem to care too much that poor Nadya is lost in Japan. Her big magazine model moment is unintentionally funny.

Bones Brigade: An Autobiography is also a story of an former star recruiting young kids except with a much better result. As his career as a pro skateboarder came to an end, Stacey Peralta located a group of young kids to compete for his company Powell Peralta. He brought together teens that became legends including Steve Caballero, Mike McGill, Lance Mountain, Rodney Mullen and Tony Hawk. They became the Bones Brigade. Their early days marked the dark days for skateboarding when parks were torn up and competitions faded from the calendars. The group stuck together for nearly a decade until the sport revived in the early ’90s with the arrival of the X Games. The unexpected star of the documentary is Rodney Mullen, the freestyle skate superstar. He’s poignant when talking about his isolation in Florida where he perfected his techniques. He dominated competitions when with the Brigade winning 34 of 35. Things do get intense for him between his controlling father and the pressure to be at the top of the mountain for so long. What’s really interesting about this documentary is that nobody claims Peralta ruined their childhood by taking them on the road for competition. Nobody is being interviewed in jail. The kids are alright for once. There’s plenty of video of a young Tony Hawk tackling halfpipes. You’ll be amazed at what a scrawny kid could do on wheels. When Peralta puts together the DVD, he better have the complete Animal Chin as a bonus feature.

Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet makes the case that he was the last great heavy metal guitarist when the genre wasn’t nostalgia. He was about to become a star as David Lee Roth’s band when he was robbed of his muscle control by ALS. He does find ways to maintain his creative outlets. The most reassuring story is when his girlfriend points out that ALS has not robbed him of his ability to get laid. CatCam was a major crowd pleaser as a geek puts a camera on his cat’s collar to discover his feline’s secret life. Santa Land is a touching tale of senior citizens in Florida who have accepted the challenge to be Santa by growing real beards.

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to review The Invisible War since it was hinted that the film was embargoed. But it is an extremely important documentary as it deals rape in the military. There are numerous accounts of female not merely being sexually attacked, but being charged with adultery for daring to report it. What’s worse is that the military’s “defense” is telling female soldiers to never walk alone. Always walk with someone you trust, the official posters insist. A few of stories involve the women being raped by people they thought they could trust. So much for that piece of military intelligence. This is an issue that needs to be addressed with more than a “zero tolerance” press release. Remember that a judge ruled that being raped is an occupational hazard of being in the military.

Herman’s House examines the relationship between Herman Wallace and Jackie Sumell. He’s a Black Panther originally arrested for robbery, but now serving for the murder of a prison guard at Lousiana’s Angola Prison. Hermans spent most of his time in solitary confinement since the early ’70s.Jackie’s a New York based artist who has made her latest project creating a house for Herman. She wants him to see his life isn’t stuck inside a 6″‘x9’ cell. We get to listen and read their relationship since Angola isn’t allowing cameras inside the tight cell space. Jackie moves down to New Orleans to find the property that will work for Herman’s dream home. I had a chance to discuss the film with director Angad Singh Bhalla after we finished talking about the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Radio Unnameable makes the case that Bob Fass is not only a counterculture icon, but the father of the flash mob. Fass pioneered being the overnight DJ on New York’s WBAI-FM in the early ’60s. This was a time when radio stations shut down when they figured their listeners had gone to bed. Bob wisely pointed out that Manhattan was a city that doesn’t sleep. Why deny these people the airwaves? His program was freeform with a mixture of music, talk and news. He pioneered the career of Howard Stern including having naked people in his studio. He had an engineer devise a way to have 10 people on the phone at once to create mini-townhalls on the dial. Bob Dylan didn’t mind dropping by the studio. Musically Fass helped launch Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Mr. Bojangles” with repeated plays. Fass pondered the popularity of his show so he came up with the idea of having listeners all show up at JFK airport for a party. After talking about it on the air for a few days, JFK found itself the host to an unexpected giant shindig. You can’t pull that social stunt anymore without getting stuck on the Do Not Fly list. Fass’ attempt to bring the same fun to Grand Central Station a few months later wasn’t such a happy time since anarchists gave the NYPD a reason to knock heads when cleaning house. There’s amazing footage of the violence in progress. Fass became a major source of information during and after the ’68 Democratic Convention in Chicago. Things got nasty and the station was taken off the air for over two months. Fass would eventually return, but he wasn’t given the same shift slots. He’s still on the air at WBAI-FM, but only one night for three hours. Directors Jessica Wolfson and Paul Lovelace sat down to answer questions before their world premiere.

Beauty is Embarrassing proved to be a bizarre delight as it followed artist and puppeteer Wayne White through his creative life. White is best known by a generation for his work on Pee Wee’s Playhouse. Besides his production design, Wayne pulled the strings on Randy and Dirty Dog. He went on to direct music videos for Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time” and the Smashing Pumpkin’s “Tonight.” Currently he takes old landscape paintings and adds 3-D words. He’s also been making huge puppets. The movie also gives an insight to his marriage to fellow artist Mimi Pond. She’s best known for writing the Simpsons Christmas special. Beauty is a brighter version of Crumb. We had to lure director Neil Berkeley and Wayne White out of the theater showing the film for this talk.. We get to the root of the amount of dope smoked while working on Pee Wee’s Playhouse. He admits they were high unlike anyone connected to a Sid and Marty Krofft production. We hopefully expose a bitter feud between Mimi Pond and Jennifer Tilly. There’s good news for people in the Roanoke, Virginia area who want to see Wayne at work. Strangely enough a week later, the venue hosted Brian Henson’s improv adult puppet show Stuffed and Unstrung that featured Alison Mork, the hands and voice of Chairry. Maybe next April Paul Reubens will be in the Bull City for Full Frame? There’s also me hinting that someone ought to make a mini-series documentary dealing with the major cartoonists that contributed to Raw Magazine.

NOTE TO MICHAEL MOORE

This is just to remind Michael Moore of our conversation during your Skype session about changes to the Documentary Oscar voting that you’re supposed to look into revoking the Oscar win for the fictional Hellstrom Chronicles and gets a lifetime achievement Oscar to either D.A. Pennebaker or Albert Maysles. You’ve been given a challenge to further establish the documentary branch isn’t a kid’s table when it comes to Oscar night or at least the dinner for the lifetime award winners.

NOT ENOUGH TIME

There are quite a few films I couldn’t see, but were raved about to me by people. Here’s an incomplete list of films that had great buzz: Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry, Ethel, The House I Live In, The Imposter, Putin’s Kiss, Trash Dance and The Waiting Room.

WHOOPS

I’d like to apologize to Full Frame honoree Stanley Nelson for asking him when ESPN was replaying his documentary. Turns out I was thinking Nelson George who made The Announcement. At least I didn’t ask him when he was reuniting with his twin brother to tour as Nelson once more. I’d also like to apologize to Nelson George for thinking The Announcement was about LeBron James taking his talents to South Beach instead of Magic Johnson’s news that he was HIV positive.

DVD SHELF

Car 54 Where Are You? The Complete Second Season wraps up the legendary New York City cop series. How can that be? How can a show so hilarious have only last two seasons when According to Jim dragged out for eight seasons? Car 54 didn’t pull in the audience like creator’s Sgt. Bilko. Guess this could be viewed as the original Arrested Development. Sadly enough since there wasn’t a Facebook in 1963, it was impossible for fans to save the show with coordinated campaign. The show focused on the 53rd Precinct in the Bronx where strange troubles roamed the neighborhood. The main protection was Car 54 manned by Joe E. Ross (Hong Kong Phooey) and Fred Gwynne (The Munsters). Ross is a screw up and Gwynne is smart, but insecure. Also causing trouble is Al Lewis (The Munsters). These are the final 30 episodes. “Hail to the Chief” has the duo assigned to escort the President of USA from Idlewild to the UN. Can they do this without an international incident? “One Sleepy Person” has Gwynne staying over with Ross and his wife (Bea Pons). Things are fine until circumstances make it seem like Gwynne is having an affair with Ross’ wife. “Here comes Charlie” stars Larry Storch as a troublesome drunk that the boys want to reform. They do their best to clean him up and get him a job, but nothing works out right since booze sneaks into the workplace. Storch proves he can get drunk just talking about taking shots at various bars in the neighborhood. “The Biggest Day of the Year” has things snowball when a rumor grows that the day is going to be a big event. It’s so sad knowing this is the last Car 54 boxset. The video transfers are clean enough to be used as evidence that people were foolish to have not watched Car 54. This was a show that made the Bronx known for more than just Yankee Stadium. Gwynne and Lewis would team up for The Munsters which also only lasted two seasons.

VEGA$: The Third Season, Volume One starts what tragically became the final season of Dan Tanna (SWAT‘s Robert Urich) on the TV. Why weren’t people loving the Middle School Vegas excitement? Tanna was Michael Mann’s greatest fictional creation outside of Michael Mann. They did their best to create a sensational 11 episodes to launch the season. “Aloha, You’re Dead” has Tanna kidnapped and hypnotised. What do his captors want him to do? It’s not squawk like a chicken when someone says egg. He’s being programmed to kill Philip Roth (Some Like It Hot‘s Tony Curtis). Who would be behind such an evil plot? How about Lorne Greene dressed up like Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island)? He’s reunited with his Bonanza son Pernell Roberts. There’s even more star power with John Saxon (Enter the Dragon) and Barbara Parkins (Valley of the Dolls). Trouble comes to the office when a killer wants Bea (Phyllis Davis) in “Black Cat Killer.” Among the guest stars is Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut). “Love Affair” makes Tanna get romantic with a woman (Priscilla Barnes) that’s working as a hooker. Her pimp isn’t happy that his employee is giving it away for free. Can Tanna hold off the fury of Dick Sargent (Bewitched). Bubba Smith (Police Academy) gets tangled in “A Deadly Victim.” “A Christmas Story” has Dan introduced to his daughter that’s Jill Whelan. But wait, she’s Captain Stubbing’s daughter on The Love Boat. This is so wrong. “Murder by Mirrors” lets Bea spot a homicide while flying over a neighborhood. However there doesn’t seem to be a body when Patrick Macnee (The Avengers) gives a tour of his house. Once more we get a collection of episodes that have as many great stars as headliners in the casinos on the strip. No news when the final installment will arrive.

Kojak: Season Four contains the penultimate beat of NYC’s greatest bald justice. Lt. Theo Kojak (Telly Savalas) is back with his badass unit that includes the nimble Crocker (Kevin Dobson), the frumpy Stavros (George Savalas) and the confident Capt. O’Neil (Dan Frazer). “The Birthday Party” busts a gang member after a robbery that turned into murder. While being processed in the office, the gang member overhears talk of Kojak’s niece’s birthday party. He figures the best way to get out of jail is to have his guys on the outside kidnap the girl. He communicates this plan during his one phone call to his guys on the outside. He speaks in Greek thinking nobody would know, but Stavros is in the room. Trouble is can he admit to hearing this information? Richard Gere (Pretty Woman) is an evil punk kid. Speaking of the hooker movie, Hector Elizondo is in “A Need to Know.” He plays a child molester with diplomatic immunity. Kojak won’t put up with this in his America. “A Hair-Trigger Away” is star packed with Lynn Redgrave, Morgan Fairchild, Irene Cara, Dan Hedaya and Dominic Chianese (The Sopranos). “Black Thorn” pricks us with NFL Hall of Famer Rosie Grier return as a private eye. Also filling your peepers is Danny Aiello and Swoosie Kurtz. Fringe fans will get to see a young Blair Brown in “Where Do You Go When You Have Nowhere to Go.” “When You Hear the Beep, Drop Dead” rings up Joe Turkel (The Shining and Bladerunner). Prepare to be amazed when Christopher Walken (Annie Hall) graces us in “Kiss It All Goodbye.” Only one Season Five is left to put all the Kojak action out on DVD.

Fantasy Island: The Complete Second Season is my fantasy since it’s been six years since season one was released. Fantasy Island dates back to a time when network TV cared about Saturday night viewers. For millions of people who weren’t out at Studio 54 or their nearest roller disco, they turned on their Sony Trinitron to watch Mr. Roarke (Ricardo Montalban) and Tattoo (Herve Villechaize) grant aging celebrities their ultimate fantasy. This is what people did before they had to dance or date a Kardashian to keep up an active TV career. The season starts right with “The Sheikh” that teams up Sid Haig and Cassandra Peterson (Elvira). They are background for Arte Johnson’s dream of having a harem although he ends up falling for Georgia Engel (The Mary Tyler Moore Show). “The War Games/Queen of the Boston Bruisers” makes Don DeFore (Hazel) the father of Jonathan Frakes (Star Trek: The Next Generation). “The Appointment / Mr. Tattoo” is a semi-crossover when Fred Gandy is part of a showgirls dream to meet and marry a millionaire. He’s not Gopher from The Love Boat, but a songwriter wanting to charm Barbi Benton and Connie Stevens with his talent. Tattoo is the one in charge of setting up this fantasy. “The Island of Lost Women/The Flight of the Yellow Bird” is a delight to Mad Men fans as Mr. Cooper steps off the plane. Robert Morse craves to visit an island only populated by women since he’d spent a year underwater as part of a submarine crew. Michelle Pfeiffer is one of the amazons that want the new man. Peter Graves (Mission: Impossible) tracks down Bigfoot. “Charlie’s Cherubs/Stalag 3” brings us Yvonne De Carlo (The Munsters). “The Stripper/The Boxer” trunks up Chuck McCann (Far Out Space Nuts), Ben Murphy (Gemini Man) Forrest Tucker (F Troop) and Mamie Van Doren. “Pentagram/ A Little Ball/ The Casting Director” brings fantasies to Phyllis Davis (Vega$), Ben Davidson (Behind the Green Door), Lisa Hartman (Mike’s College Dorm Fridge), Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch), Don Knotts (Three’s Company), Cesar Romero (Batman), John Saxon and Abe Vigoda (Fish). “Birthday Party / Ghostbreaker” busts wide open with Annette Funicello (Beach Party), Ken Berry (F Troop) and Larry Storch (F Troop too). Fred Gandy returns in “The Comic/ Golden Hour” with Toni Tennille and Michael Parks (Kill Bill). What ’70s show isn’t complete from a visit with Regis Philbin, Billy Barty and Red Buttons as found in “Cornelius and Alphonse/ The Choice?” More Love Boat crossover hits with Ted Lange and Jill Whelan as part of “Amusement Park/ Rock Stars.” Scott Baio wants to be a singing star like Anson Williams. Fantasy Island is such addictive kitsch. You should save this boxset for your Saturday night viewing since the networks don’t care if you tune into them. The show lasted for seven seasons so only five more boxsets. Smiles everyone! Smiles!

Here’s a little Scott Baio love for you.

A Mother’s Love is from the director of Diary of a Tired Black Man. Tim Alexander focuses on Regina Reynolds (Rolanda Watts). She’s forgotten to also be a wife and mother to her family. Her husband (Julian Starks) doesn’t want to divorce her. He’s still in love with her. The daughter (Filth to Ashes, Flesh to Dust‘s Salina Duplessis) has a major drug issue, but mom doesn’t seem to want to clean up the kid. The only hope to save this family is Regina’s mom (Amentha Dymally) taking control of the house and getting her daughter and granddaughter back on the right track. The film won a Dove seal of approval including a 5 Dove rating so it’s perfect for any relatives that desire inspirational. movies on DVD night. Dymally is an inspiration since she’s been acting for a while including roles on The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., Room 222 and Mayberry R.F.D.. Rolanda Watts is best known for her talkshow fittingly called Rolanda. The Vanessa Williams on the box is not the decrowned Miss America, but the actress that played Rhonda Blair on Melrose Place. Alexander keeps his message tight within the story while giving his actors space to explore their character’s issues.

LIZARD LICK – Once more it’s time for a weekend of cinematic truth with the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, North Carolina from April 12 – 15. This remains the friendliest film festival in America with an Award ceremony that’s more about sharing a meal than a lust for hardware.

The big opening night film is Jesse Owens. The biography explores the legacy of hero that won four gold medals at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. He made Adolph Hitler an unhappy host. How was it for Owens when he returned home to a country that had its own rules about who was the Master Race in the South? The film was directed by Lauren Grant and produced by Stanley Nelson. This also launches a tribute to Nelson’s work that will be shown through out the festival including Jonestown: The Life and Death of the People’s Temple and The Black Press.

With so many films shown over the weekend, it’s natural there will be two films at the same time screaming for your attention. Thursday night has Samsara against Marley. How can I choose? Samsara is Ron Fricke’s follow up to Baraka. He takes his 70mm camera on another amazing tour around the world that goes from the wreckage of New Orleans to a chicken processing plant. Marley is Kevin Macdonald’s inspirational documentary about Bob Marley. How can I pass on the man who my two year old daughter now quotes “Stir It Up” while mixing cake batter? Plus Marley was produced by my Eskimo Brother Steve Bing. The tie breaker will probably be how many drinks I can down at the opening night party. That might not work since both films would be perfect with a buzz. Might just have to close my eyes and wander into a random theater door.

Friday starts off with Escape Fire: The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare which does it best to show what’s been happening in healthcare. One of the stories involves the injured Sgt. Robert Yates. He gets hooked on pharmaceuticals from everything prescribed to him. Aranda gives a view of life on a Finnish research ship that monitors icebergs. Mr. Cao Goes to Washington follows the GOP Congressman from Louisiana that dared to be bipartisan. Beauty Is Embarrassing introduces us to William White, the man behind the puppets on PeeWee’s Playhouse among his creations. Party Favors is going to do our best to chat with him during the festival.

Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet is an inspirational tale of an ’80s Heavy Metal guitar genius who suffers from Lou Gehrig’s disease. As he loses muscle control, people come up with solutions for him to maintain his creative output.

Herman’s Home follows how artist Jackie Sumell recreated the solitary confinement cell that Herman Wallace has inhabited for nearly 40 years. She wants to give him a sense of space by creating his dream house in various ways including computer graphics and models. Radio Unnamable shines a light on Bob Fass, a New York radio legend. His show on WBAI was often visited by Bob Dylan during his early years. Bones Brigade is part two of Stacey Peralta’s autobiography after Dogtown and Z Boys. The skateboard legend went big with his own squad that went to the next level thanks to a scrawny kid with amazing tricks named Tony Hawk. Stacey doesn’t appear to be coming with the film. I was hoping we’d be doing tricks all over the water fountain outside the Carolina Theater.

What’s nice about Full Frame is that all the theaters are near each other so you’re not having to hop buses or drive all over town and fight for parking spaces. There’s a hotel attached to the theater complex so you can see movies in your pajamas. It’s the perfect film festival for people who don’t want to travel overseas, slog through the snow or deal with traffic jams. Did I mention they have BBQ? For more information visit their site at www..fullframefest.org.

DOCUMENTARIES NOW

If all this talk of documentaries at Full Frame has excited your desires, but you can’t leave your computer. Turns out Hulu is now providing documentaries. Visit www.hulu.com/documentaries. They’re currently presenting “Re:generation Music Project” which features The Crystal Method, Mark Ronson and Skrillex. Sadly they did not invite the Eskimo Sisters to the party down. Soon they’ll have Morgan Spurlock’s “Comic-Con Episode For: A Fan’s Hope.” Kevin Smith is interviewed while wearing a hockey sweater. How rare is that?

Here’s a bit of “A Day In the Life.”

RAZZIE UP

As predicted Jack and Jill dominated this year’s Razzies for the Worst film that Adam Sandler might get the award named after him. He got more Razzie love than Oscar gave Edith Head. Jack and Jill won all of the 10 awards including one for Al Pacino. The sad part of the night is knowing that the badness of Bucky Larson: Born the Be a Star went home empty handed. Any other year, Bucky would have needed a wheel barrel to carry home the hardware. But Nick Swardson was denied like an elderly minority voting in a primary. Time to get prepared for the 2013 Razzies which ought to feature American Pie: Class Reunion.

SHAMELESS PLEA

I’m really missing Showtime’s Shameless. How can they only make so few episode at a time? They’re my favorite messed up family on TV if I don’t count my own family’s Christmas videos. Now that I have to wait for the next season, the urge to drink Old Style beer is overwhelming. Would be so nice for the folks at Old Style to sponsor my video interview embeds. Can they ship Old Style in the mail?

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics All-Night Marathon The Nurses Collection will not be overturned by the Supreme Court! When Corman started out his New World studio, he understood the need to establish movie genres so that drive-ins across America would eagerly book the next installment without much care. They scored quick with outlaw bikers and women in sweaty Asian prisons. But they needed a more wholesome subject matter so that kids could tell their parents what they were seeing at the Starlite without causing alarm. What could be more wholesome than a movie about the struggles of nurses? For many young ladies, they might have just told their parents they were attending career day when The Student Nurses came to town. The good news for viewers is that the Nurses films weren’t interested in being documentaries, but wonderful exploitation flicks. These are young women who are enjoying sexual freedom while maintaining their professional attitude. What does that mean? Plenty of reasons for the various nurses to sponge bath the patients and lose their uniforms in the process. The Nurses Collections has the four films that came after the release of The Student Nurses. The formula was simple. Put four nurses on the movie poster and three of them in the film. Each has a problem to solve and none of them have an issue with nude scenes.

Private Duty Nurses (1971) got its name when the Private Duty Nurse association wrote to complain about The Student Nurses. Corman never wastes a catchy title. This time the three nurses get involved in drugs, racism and homicide during their shifts. The tagline sets up the action with “The mouth to mouth they give is not CPR!” Director George Armitage would eventually make Gross Pointe Blank with John Cusack. Night Call Nurses (1972) presents a fresh trio of nurses working at a hospital’s psych ward. The movie opens with a topless suicide. This isn’t an easy gig for the girls since there’s a plenty of unbalanced people aiming to take them out of their sensible shoes. The big find in the film is classic California blond Alana Stewart. She’d find fame as the ex-wife of Rod Stewart and George Hamilton. Dennis Dugan has an acting role. Eventually he’d become the worst director in the world for making Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill. It’s a Razzie tie-in. Director Jonathan Kaplan would go on to make the legendary Truck Turner with Isaac Hayes and The Accused with Jodie Foster. Plus he served as a producer on ER. He’s an honor school graduate of Corman University.

The Young Nurses (1973) is about nurses that are young. They’ve got plenty of things to learn during their shifts. There’s a revenge plot when the nurse wants to track down the drug pusher that gave the fatal dose to one of her patients. There’s a touching moment when in the middle of a crisis, a nurse strips down and races into the ocean. It stars none other than the greatest Meatball Psychiatrist of the Korean War, Allan Arbus. He was the shrink on M*A*S*H This was director Clint Kimbrough’s only major directing gig. Candy Stripe Nurses (1974) wraps up the series with even younger nurses. Three high school girls volunteer at the local hospital for various reasons. One needs to do to build up her resume for college, another wears the striped apron for school punishment and the last just wants to bang a doctor. Things gets nasty when a basketball scandal drags in a doctor who knows how to pep up the squad. The series didn’t run out of steam. There are two documentaries about the Nurses movies including Julie Corman discussing how they empowered her to become a producer. Where’s The Student Nurses in this DVD set? It’s slated to be released in set with The Student Teachers and Summer School Teachers. Don’t fret about starting off with the second film since there’s no relationship between the films except they’re about youthful nurses who don’t mind stripping down to revive the audience.

MST3K RE-ISSUES

There are those worrisome times when a DVD boxset goes out of print and the used price soars like a gallon of gas. This has been happening to a lot of the early Mystery Science Theater 3000 collections. Thankfully the titles in the boxsets that are still under license are getting reissued. Two more titles have been put out on the Shout Select line.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Girl in Gold Boots exposes the seedy world of go-go dancing in the ’60s. A cashier working at a high desert dive gets propositioned by a guest to come on down to Los Angeles for a shot at stardom as a go-go dancer. This is the same thing that happened to Helen Mirren. Except for this dreamer of a life in gold boots comes a harsh truth. Turns out that what really makes money in the go-go dancing world is dealing drugs. Filmmaker Ted V. Mikels is best known for having 10 women living with him for the longest of times. They would help him make his movies. Mike and the Bots have fun with the scenes including pouring beer on things you love. Crow embraces the joy of go-go dancing. Wait till you see him strutting his metal legs. Pearl Forrester has to renew her mad scientist license and things aren’t looking good for her.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Wild World of Bat Woman is a pure cash grab during the era of Batmania. They even work “Batmania” into the movie poster. But rest assured that Adam West had nothing to do with this film. This is the definition of exploitation cheapie. They have a woman in an odd superhero outfit that includes a bat drawn above her bosom. What she does have is lot of female cohorts that love to go-go dance when there’s a major plot hole needing a distraction. The film is so bad that Mike and the Bots fixate on the educational film that ran before hand called “Cheating.” Mike has the Bots do an essay about cheating and Crow takes the topic seriously enough to cheat on it. There’s no shortcuts on the Satellite of Love. Crow must be punished. Although you won’t have to be punished paying nearly $100 for the old version of the DVD. Shout! Select currently has it for $14.99.

While these DVDs are being issued as Shout Select titles from Shout! Factory’s website (and a reseller on Amazon), they are not DVD-Rs. These are real silver dvds. Don’t think you’re being asked to sacrifice quality. The only quality being sacrificed is cinematic quality of these two stinkers that are the perfect bait for barbs from Mike and the Bots.

DVD SHELF

Jake and the Neverland Pirates: Peter Pan Returns was the Disney Jr sensational special. The double length episode united the trio of little pirates with Peter Pan. Are the lost boys upset that Jake, Izzy and Cubby have completely stolen their heat? Does anyone care about the Lost Boys outside of the vampire variation? Peter once more loses his shadow. Now it is up to Jake and his pals to help bring the magical Peter back to his shadow. Trouble is that Captain Hook has it. Oh no. Toddlers may scream at some of the action. There’s also five normal episodes of the show included on the DVD. While some kids might get excited about Peter Pan, the massive guest star is the Pirate Princess and her rainbow wand. If you have a small girl, the Pirate Princess is all you’re going to hear about for the next five months. I can testify to that fact. You will hear everything you never knew about the Legend of the Pirate Princess. It’s a marketing heaven of combining the girlish princess concept with the swashbuckling pirate figure. This will be hot toddler costume for Halloween 2012. There’s a Pirate-oke to let the kiddies sing along with the music from the show. A second disc contains a digital version that can be put on your computer, iPhone or iPad.

Angels Crest goes straight for a parent’s worst fear. On a snowy drive, a dad (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles‘ Thomas Dekker) pulls over to go check something out. He leaves his three year old son sleeping in the truck. While the dad is gone, the kid wakes up and wanders away from the truck. The small town joins together to search for the child. Even with all the help and prayers, the worst fear is realized. Things get worse when the town debates what really happened on the road. Was this merely an unfortunate lapse of judgement or deliberate? There’s a fine cast on Angels Crest including Mira Sorvino, Elizabeth McGovern and Kate Walsh. You’ll think twice before leaving a slumbering preschooler in the car after watching this film.

Adam-12: The Final Season wraps up seven seasons of Officer Pete Malloy (Route 66‘s Martin Milner) and Officer Jim Reed (Ken McCord) cruising the streets of Los Angeles in their black and white patrol car. They made people around the world think the LAPD were a noble bunch which is why the world feels betrayed when reports of LAPD cops going bad suffer. This final season starts off with a two-parter that sends them to camp to help at risk kids. June Lockhart (Lost in Space) and Ronnie Schell (Gomer Pyle) don’t let the scene get too youthful. The show made sure that stories weren’t too over the top during their time on patrol. They capture enough felons, but it doesn’t turn into the greatest cop story ever! They don’t save the world. They merely save people in needs and stop those who will destroy the world of an individual. It’s like an episode of Cops without the mosaic over the guilty’s face. They answer calls for the mundane as well as major crimes. They bust Dick Van Patten. “Gus Corbin” has Malloy stuck at a desk. Reed has to break in a rookie played by Mark Harmon (NCIS). Harmon is a bit of a wild card. He’d tone down over the decades to become a major network star. The series ends with “Something Worth Dying For.” Reed joins up with the narcotics squad, but the change isn’t good for him as he roams LA’s druggie underground. The city was never safer when Adam-12 kept the streets calm.

Laverne & Shirley: The Fifth Season revives the releases of America’s favorite two basement apartment dwelling roomies. After two seasons as the top rated show on TV, the morons at ABC moved it from Tuesday nights to Thursdays. The immediate effect was the show fell out of the Top 30. It was toxic. All the executives in this decision were executed. The season wasn’t that bad. The season starts with a crossover Happy Days episode called “Shotgun Wedding.” The girls have to rescue Potsie, but at what price? “You’re in the Army, Now” should have sent the girls to Vietnam with Gomer Pyle. Oddly enough this became the basis for the animated Laverne and Shirley in the Army that aired on Saturday mornings in 1981. The highlight of the season is “Murder on the Moosejaw Express” when Scatman Crothers (The Shining) brightens up the trip. This was the last season where they lived in Milwaukee. Season Six has them moving to Burbank, California for fun in the sun and their Beatles poster.

Ernie Kovacs: ABC Specials is the tenderloin of Shout! Factory’s The Ernie Kovacs Collection that came out last year. The five TV specials on the DVD were his last major pieces of television. Ernie was a pioneer of TV and these specials are a refinement of the sketches he’d been doing over the years. He’s black out sketches with “Mack the Knife” are rarely matched in TV. His ability to put “normal actions” to music is only matched by Friz Freleng’s animated cartoons. If you have any curiosity about Ernie Kovacs, this single disc testifies to his genius. The last episode aired after his death at 42. A bonus feature is his hilarious Dutch Masters commercials.

Astonishing X-Men: Dangerous brings to motion the six comic book arc written by Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and illustrated by John Cassaday. The X-Men are in major trouble when something turns the Danger Room against them. It’s a fight for their lives within the simulated world that prepares them for major battles. Who could have possibly been the mole to set up such a betrayal? No need to spoil the action although everyone has their favorite suspects. The Marvel Knights Animation team gets better at manipulating the original comic book panels. This is much more fun than merely reading the comic books and less of a chance of your pal screaming that your bending the spine.

Conan The Adventurer: Season Two – Part Two has the next 13 episodes of when the show went to a M-F strip format in 1993. Conan is still out looking for a way to free his parents from the curse of Wrath-Amon. He needs a crew to handle all the Serpentmen that are out for his musclebound body. Unlike the movies, Conan: The Adventurer is a much more sensible talking kind a guy. “Final Hours of Conan” has him bitten by an evil imp. While that doesn’t sound too bad, the bite turns him into a Serpentman. Can there be a cure of will Warth-Amon get the last lizard laugh? “Bool of My Blood” exposes the unspoken shame of Conan. He can’t read. Even when this is exposed, Conan still gets a scholarship offer from John Calipari. Conan does learn to read so that he can’t be duped in the near future. “The Queen of Stygia” turns Conan against his friends with an evil spell. He needs to be flipped before he slices and dices his companions.

FAIR CITY – Who knew crime fighting, dictionaries and meat would taste so well together? That’s the recipe for an episode of the animated WordGirl.

The PBS show is a hit with the younger set. Who can’t resist the charms of a WordGirl and Captain Huggyface? They pose as an elementary school student who loves libraries and her pet chimp to look normal to humans. But when trouble comes, they reveal their alien superpowers from the planet Lexicon. They have to protect citizens from evil villains like Kid Potato, The Butcher, Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy and The Masked Meat Marauder. It’s a food court of sinister elements. The show has more real action than an episode of classic Super Friends even with educational elements. Plenty of cool actors lend their voices including Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants), Chris Parnell (fellow NCSA graduate), Patton Oswalt, Fred Stoller, Pamela Adlon (Californication), Tim Conway, Elliot Gould, Brian Posehn, Ed Asner, Kristen Schaal, Amy Sedaris and the late Peter Graves.

WordGirl is now being released as original adventure graphic novels from Boom! Studios. My internet pal Anita Serwacki wrote the story “The Ham Van Makes the Man” in WordGirl: Word Up. Steve Young created the artwork. The story centers around WordGirl’s dad winning a Ham Van that the Butcher covets. If you want a peek at the first few pages, visit: http://www.comicbookresources.com/prev_img.php?pid=11154&pg=1

Serwacki’s no stranger to WordGirl. She’s already written a few episodes of the TV show. She’s also familiar to bookstores. Serwacki along with others including her husband Joe Garden have written The Devious Book for Cats, The Dangerous Book for Dogs and The New Vampire’s Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night. While she contributes to The Onion, she’s most recognized as a survivor of the Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster coverage. She’s been a DJ on Luxuriamusic.com as The Meat Mistress and runs a website exposing meat related crimes.

The Party Favors had a chance to swap some questions with Serwacki about her work with WordGirl. We had to find out the secrets of Lexicon Living.

Party Favors: When you pitch to WordGirl, do you give them the big words to be explained in the episode or are they provided in advance?

Serwacki: The pitch phase is focused on villain-specific story ideas. After a pitch is selected, the writer incorporates two vocabulary words that work organically within the script. However, Scholastic, which owns the WordGirl property, has ultimate approval. I did have to change a word in my first comic script, “Fondue, Fondon’t,” when it was flagged for having been used in the television show. That involved a bit of rewriting. I now have a handy list of words that have been previously defined!

Party Favors: Did you originally write “The Ham Van” for the animated series or was written specifically for the comic book?

Serwacki: “The Ham Van Makes The Man” was only pitched for the comic book, but it wouldn’t have been viable for the show. One of Boom’s goals for the comic is to publish stories that are bigger than what could be produced for the television series. For example, multiple villains, which the show’s voice talent budget may not be able to support, can be incorporated, and elaborate set pieces that would be too difficult and time-consuming to animate (like the Ham Van parade that appears in my story), can be included.

Party Favors: Was this a dream job for you since you were able to combine your passion for meat and words in one juicy story?

Serwacki: Boy, when my husband and I began writing for the TV show and were introduced to the characters, it seemed like someone emptied the contents of our brains into a children’s program. I, of course, have a slightly unhealthy obsession with meat (e.g. my longtime DJ moniker “Meat Mistress” and the Meat Crimes blog – meatcrimes.tumblr.com). My husband has a similar obsession with monkeys and had been a long time moderator for a monkey news email list. It was no coincidence that our two Season One episodes featured The Butcher.

Party Favors: What’s the major difference between writing a TV script and a comic book?

Serwacki: With the show, you just wait for it to air and see what magic the production company coaxed from the page! Comics have rigid parameters and it’s a bit more of a writer’s burden. For WordGirl there are 28 printed pages per story. Within those pages there can be, with few exceptions, no more than 4 panels. The writer specifies the contents of each panel in the script. Every physical action, or even nuance, such as a sideways glance, must to be represented in its own panel. You also need to open up the story for art and allow for at least one, maybe two, one-panel pages, so that limits how much space you have to tell the story. Figuring how three acts are going to unfold within those limitations can sometimes feel like playing a strategy board game.

Party Favors: Does it feel bad that the Butcher is a villain? Do you think he’s merely misunderstood?

Serwacki: One of the many reasons I love The Butcher is that, deep down, he’s a real softy. I co-wrote the TV episode “Meat With A Side Of Cute” where he finds a kitten, names it “Meat Hook,” and tries to make it his sidekick. When The Butcher is hauled off to jail, the only thing he cares about is the kitten’s welfare. Same thing with the Ham Van, actually. The Butcher doesn’t care about getting locked up so long as he knows the vehicle he loves is safe.

I do enjoy him as a villain, though. He throws meat at people! C’mon!

Party Favors: Is the Butcher irritated by Sandwich Guy since the butcher has to cut his meat while Sandwich guy gets pre-cut lunch meats?

Serwacki: Chuck does battle with condiments, so there’s no conflict. Plus, cutting meat is The Butcher’s life-passion, followed closely by crime.

Party Favors: Did the Spiral Ham Van concept come from a childhood wish?

Serwacki: The Wienermobile was the launching point for the idea. As many do, I sat down and considered what other meat products could be fashioned into a motor vehicle. There’s just something about ham that has a higher comedic value than other meat.

Party Favors: What would be cooler to own: The Spiral Ham Van or the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile?

Serwacki: Speaking of…! Since you are talking to someone without a driver’s license, I would choose to be a Ham Van passenger, for sure. If you look closely at the art, the illustrator, Steve Young, made the bumpers out of bones…

Party Favors: Are you hoping this comic book inspires a future George Barris to make a Spiral Ham Van?

Serwacki: Yes, and it should be driven exclusively by Paula Deen.

Party Favors: Is it nice to be able to have at least a hint of physical violence when WordGirl takes out Dr. Two-Brains and Sandwich Guy?

Serwacki: WordGirl actually has a fairly congenial relationship with most of the villains, particularly Two-Brains with whom she was pals before he had a mouse brain fused to his head. She’s not so much interested in retribution ala The Bride from Kill Bill as she is in just stopping the crime-nonsense so she can get back to school work and Pretty Princess.

Party Favors: Are there rules for what WordGirl can do during a battle?

Serwacki: She has her established super hero traits: speed, strength, flight, and extensive vocabulary. But there must be a bit of vulnerability. A hundred pounds of meat needs to incapacitate her for at least a few minutes. In the end, she usually ties up the villain with Huggy’s assistance.

Party Favors: Who would win in a fight between WordGirl and Yo Gabba Gabba‘s Super Martian Robot Girl?

Serwacki: Neither! They’d have a sleepover, drink hot chocolate with little marshmallows, and watch a “Pretty Princess and Magic Pony Power Hour” marathon.

Party Favors: How come if Captain Huggyface can fight crime, he isn’t toilet trained?

Serwacki: I think the diaper is more of a disguise akin to Clark Kent’s spectacles. Who’d ever suspect an incontinent monkey of being a superhero sidekick?

Party Favors: Is WordGirl one word or two since the title has the star between the words?

Serwacki: One! You have written it correctly. Bravo, sir!

Party Favors: What female superheroes inspired you as a kid?

Serwacki: It wasn’t a particularly great show, but I did love “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.” How can you not appreciate female superheroes who fight evil deeds while writing for a magazine? Since I was the little sister, I always had to play Dyna Girl though.

Party Favors: Do you see little girls dressing up as WordGirl for Halloween?

Serwacki: While I have not witnessed it first hand, I have seen pictures of girls in WordGirl costumes accompanied by their dads dressed as The Butcher. That is adorable.

Party Favors: Have you framed the WordGirl panels to hang around the apartment?

Serwacki: I have not, but I should get on that. The art is owned by Boom!, of course, however I should ask the illustrators to send me some high res images. A Ham Van parade print would be nice in the bathroom.

Party Favors: If they make a live action WordGirl, who would Nic Cage play?

Serwacki: The safe, most obvious choice is Dr. Two-Brains, but I think Chuck The Evil Sandwich Making Guy would be more inspired. What could be more terrifying than Nic Cage hosing people down with mayonnaise while encased in sandwich-head creature make-up?
?Remember to pick up WordGirl: Word Up for the young readers in your life. It’s also great for people who love stories about driving around in a Spiral Ham Van.

FULL FRAME COMING

The next column shall have a complete preview of the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival that’s running in Durham, North Carolina from April 13 – 16th. The big highlights to report will be Samsara from Ron Fricke. He’s the man behind Baraka. Kevin Macdonald’s Marley is about Bob Marley and not the dog that dies. Bones Brigade: An Autobiography is the second installment in Stacy Peralta’s life of a skateboard legend. His Dogtown and Z-Boys explored how he and his pals revolutionized the sport in the mid-70s. Bones Brigade was Tony Hawk’s big break. We’re waiting on news if Stacy will be in attendance so he can show me how to skate the water fountain. That’s going to be highlight video.

If you want to know anything about tickets or hotel reservations visit www.fullframefest.org. It’s nearly 70 movies that don’t star Channing Tatum. How can you resist?

KRAUTROCK OVERDRIVE

I made a big mistake. Instead of landing tickets to see Kraftwerk at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, I’m going to a reunion of the Baader-Meinhof Gang at the Guggenheim. The good news is the show is also an eight day event although it might end early if their demands are met.

DARTH MAUL RETURNS

Turns out they’ve upped the Star Wars online game. Darth Maul is back and he’s ready to party with you. And by party, I mean cut your head off and use it as a beer mug for his Big Boss Beer. Here’s the info about the new part of the game:

A fallen enemy rises! The evil Darth Maul, long thought dead since his defeat by Obi-Wan Kenobi at the Battle of Naboo, has returned to wreak havoc during the Clone Wars! As Maul returns to menace the galaxy in the season four finale of “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” he also appears in Sony Online Entertainment’s (SOE) Star Wars(r): Clone Wars Adventures(tm).

In addition to seeing the vicious Sith Lord in action tonight on the Cartoon Network, Star Wars players can see him appear in-game in three different missions including:

“¢ A new stage in the ‘Dark Side Duel’ mini-game
“¢ A holoprojector that allows players to disguise themselves and turn their character into his image
“¢ An ultimate boss fight in the Ancient Sith Academy on the surface of Umbara

In order to experience the ultimate boss fight with Darth Maul, players must complete the Sinister Holocron collection to gain access into the ruined Academy where Maul has hidden and retreated to recover his strength, alongside his long-lost brother, Savage Opress. Once there, players should approach with caution as they must first battle Ancient Sith Training Droids and mad Dark Acolytes with dangerous Force mind tricks in order to confront Darth Maul himself in his lava-strewn lair. Gamers be warned: Opress will be close at hand throughout the entire mission!

Players who complete these missions will be given in-game rewards and can earn the new player title, “The Unyielding.”

If you want to play, visit www.clonewarsadventures.com.

DVD Shelf

Mystery Science Theater 3000 XXIII packs four more episodes of talking back to the screen excitement to enhance painfully bad films. The episodes are split between Joel and Mike as the hosts. King Dinosaur brings astronauts to a new planet called Nova. Bert I. Gordon made his own version of Avatar. This is cheap and cheesy sci-fi using stock footage and reptiles in costumes to cover up the budget shortfalls. Prepare yourself for the joy of “Joey the Lemur” song. The Castle of Fu Manchu might be the major reason why Christopher Lee can’t get a lifetime achievement Oscar. This is truly horrible and plot jumpy as Lee terrorizes the world and cinema while made up to be Chinese. Crow gets so upset he writes a letter to complain about non-Asian actors getting Asian roles. Code Name: Diamond Head was a failed pilot from when Quinn Martin stepped on Jack Lord’s turf. Roy Thinnes (The Invaders() is teamed with Zulu (Hawaii Five-O‘s Kono) to hunt down Ian McShane (Deadwood). This should have been a sure fire hit, but it looks like Jack Lord placed a taboo tiki curse on the production for stepping on his turf. At the time Ian McShane was best known in America for Lovejoy so Mike and the Bots don’t make any jokes about McShane cussing up a storm. At least Zulu’s near primetime return can be seen here. Last of the Wild Horses is a real Western from Robert L. Lippert. This is the saga of a man who sells wild horses being told to lay off and let the herd build up. The real joy of this episode is a tribute to the “Mirror, Mirror” episode of Star Trek. Evil Mike looks like Evil Spock. The Mad Scientists get to riff in the theater. It’s insane. They’ve packed plenty of bonus features into the boxset. “Code Name: Quinn Martin” gives a rundown on the successful TV producer who gave us Cannon and The Fugitive. “The Incredible Mr. Lippert” is an involving biography about how a theater owner turned movie mogul. “Life After MST3K: Kevin Murphy” lets us know about his career. He’s still making fun of the movies. “Vintage MST3K Promos” are the ads from Comedy Central. “Darkstar: Robots Don’t Need SAG Cards” reunites cast members for a video game. While the four titles in MST3K: XXIII is a few great nights of weirdness. You might feel guilty eating Chinese food while watching Fu Manchu.

Bob: The Complete Series was Bob Newhart’s last big sitcom. After playing a psychologist and an innkeeper, he evolved into a comic book artist. He’s the creator of Mad Dog, a superhero that’s a vet defending animals around the world. Decades before the comic was a major flop. But during the comic book boom of the early ’90s, Mad-Dog gets revived by a publisher that wants Bob to quit his greeting card gig. You might not remember Bob since it only lasted a season and a half. Newhart didn’t count on his show ending up in the graveyard of Friday night. The first season had Bob discovering all the major changes in the comic book world since his last encounter. He deals at home with his wife and adult daughter. The producers completely retooled the show for the second season. He’s back at making greeting cards for a company run by Betty White. Even with the Betty White magic, the show didn’t even get a complete half season. It was canceled with three episodes in the can. All is on this boxset. They even include interviews from Entertainment Tonight with Bob reuniting with his previous co-stars from his early hits for a Poker game. Strange to think that Bob Newhart’s less successful show would be the only one to be complete on DVD.

Transformers Prime: The Complete First Season is the new CGI entry into the series. It airs on the Hub cable channel. This is so much better than the Michael Bay movies.

The Adventures of Tintin: Season Two brings another seven of Herge’s comics. Tintin is a young reporter who roams the globe with a formerly drunk Captain Haddock, the brainy Calculus and his dog Snowy. I’m still not sure why he’s considered a reporter since he rarely writes down notes or argues with an editor during his adventures. This boxset features the animated TV series that brings the artwork to life. “The Shooting Star” puts a giant meteor on a collision course with the Earth. “The Broken Ear” features a museum heist and cover up that leads to South America. “King Ottokar’s Sceptre” is another royal artifact theft. “Tintin in Tibet” pits Snowy against the Yeti. “Tintin and the Picaros” is a Latin American coup led by Tintin. This was the final comicbook completed by Herge. “Land of Black Gold” scares us with exploding gasoline. “Flight 714” flies them to Indonesia for a kidnapping. If you’re eager for more Tintin after the Spielberg film, this will more than make you happy.

Neverland is SyFy’s latest entry into their classy revisionist classics after Tin Man and Alice. These aren’t the cheap Corman CGI mutant monster movies. This time it’s Peter Pan who gets reworked. Peter and the Lost Boys are a pack of Dickens-esque characters pulling scams around London. They work for Jimmy Hook (Rhys Ifans). They group get sucked into an alternate world when they steal a globe. Turns out it’s Neverland. Hook hooks up with a female pirate (Anna Friel) and her crew including Bob Hoskins. Peter and the kids hook up with the Indians and fairies. We learn how Peter got the ability to fly as he fights against the Pirates to save the secrets of Neverland. Rhys Ifans is perfect in his role. I finally understand why this guy deserves to have a name above the credits. He’s got that wicked gleam working on full blast. New World‘s Q’orianka Kilcher returns as Tigerlily.

Kojak: Season Three reminds us that bald isn’t merely beautiful, it’s beacon for justice in the Big Apple. Telly Savalas continues his reign as the greatest police detective on TV with his brother George and Kevin Dobson as his main men. The season opens with “A Question of Answers” with the trio of Eli Wallach, Jerry Orbach and F. Murray Abraham. This gets topped with “My Brother, My Enemy” with Sylvester Stallone (Cobra) and Charles Napier (Squidbillies). The duo would reunite years later for Rambo: First Blood Part II. “Life, Liberation and the Pursuit of Death” brings us more William Katt (Greatest American Hero). Forrest Tucker (F Troop) is willing to break all the rules to close one final case. Football legend Rosey Grier is a private detective with a hitman on his trail in “Bad Dude.” Rosey reads his lines like a hostage carefully reading his kidnapper’s demands. Future bad dude Bill Duke (Predator) gets a small role. This is the middle time of the five season run so all the actors are making things click effectively. Season 4 comes out on May 1.

Hey Arnold: Season 2, Part 1 is 10 more episodes of one of the finest animated urban kid shows since Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. “Save The Tree” has Arnold, Helga and their pals doing their best to save the neighborhood tree from being chopped down. Why? Because Helga’s dad wants to build a new Big Bob’s Beeper store. She going to let her dad do this? “Helga’s Love” drives her to buy a potion to stop caring about the football shaped head boy. “Ransom” puts Arnold and his pal Gerald on the trail of a stolen doll. “Operation: Arnold’s Halloween” plays off of Orson Welle’s “The War of the Worlds” broadcast. The kids’ pumpkin night stunt turns the enter city into a warzone. They think the aliens really are coming this time. Hey Arnold is one of the essential Nickelodeon shows from the ’90s worth rediscovering as an adult.

Roadie had me at Blue Oyster Cult. Unfortunately it’s a sad story about what happens when BOC fires their roadie after two decades. Ron Eldard (Super 8) isn’t sure what to do with his life after spending so much of his time on a tour bus with the guys behind “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” How is he going to get more cowbell in his life? He hooks up with an old friend, Jill Hennessy (Crossing Jordan). She has musical talent and might be able to make it with his odd connections. The one thing that doesn’t connect is Jill’s husband, Bobby Carnnavale (Snakes on a Plane). He’s the jealous type. Ron seems destined to eat pavement again. Eldard does a fine job making sure this film doesn’t get confused with Meatloaf’s Roadie. He gives the appearance of a man in a hard career crisis yet with killer facial hair. He could always roadie for a Blue Oyster Cult cover band, but that’s just faking it.

Melancholia is a bride’s worst nightmare when after a beautiful ceremony, the reception is marred by the end of the world. Turns out the Earth had hidden twin planet that wants to reunite in the worst of ways. But why must it ruin Kirsten Dunst’s wedding to Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood)? They look so perfect together. The festivities are hosted by Kiefer Sutherland and Charlotte Gainsbourg (daughter of the legendary Serge Gainsbourg) at a lavish country estate. This is Lars von Trier’s first truly fulfilling movie since Breaking the Waves. The production design is more than chalk on a black floor. The science fiction joining of a wedding flick works here. It even brings back the always creepy Udo Kier.

The Tribe Season One Part 1 is a captivating mix of The Lord of the Flies and BBC’s Survivors series with a touch of Lost In Space‘s planet of the teenagers. A virus has wiped out all the adults in the world. Kids and teens now rule the world. This would sound great except it turns into complete tribalism with massive power struggles. The kids form tribes for protection as they survive mainly by rooting out the remains of society. The Locos are the more powerful groups in the New Zealand locations. The stars of the show are the Mall Rats since they hide inside an old shopping mall. The boxset contains the first 26 half-hour episodes. It’s a compelling youth soap opera with the Post-Apocalyptic Sweet Valley High feel. The show lasted five years.

Adventures in Lalaloopsy Land: The Search for Pillow is really 75 minutes long movie featuring the doll line. I mention this fact so any parent won’t hit the play button thinking it’s only 40 minutes long like other kiddie “movies.” Don’t start this right before your preschooler’s bedtime. The movie is based off the popular line of dolls that mix Raggedy Ann button eyes with more athletic bodies. Their pal Pillow gets lost so her friends track her down. It’s low impact so not to startled little ones. This shouldn’t be viewed by a grown up after the kids go to bed.

Alien Opponent grabbed my attention with Rowdy Roddy Piper dressed as a priest. The fact that the gets to battle an alien is pure icing. Why this man’s acting career isn’t given marathons on Spike is an injustice. An alien’s space ship lands at a rural junkyard. He gets used as the excuse for a local guy being murdered by his relatives. To sell the story even harder, they turn the tables on the predator by offering a large reward for the head of ET. The locals head on over to try to take down the alien like they would a prized deer or hog. Nobody truly seems packed for intergalactic game. This includes TMZ trainwreck Jeremy London who enhances the thespian skills of Roddy Piper. This movie however belongs to Roddy like They Live and Hell Comes to Frogtown. The film has just enough cheese with the cracker action to be a fine late night snack.

HOLLYWOOD – Adam Sandler excelled in badness when he earned 11 Razzie nominations. There’s only 10 categories. Top that Meryl Streep and Edith Head!

Now that the Oscar season is vanquished, it’s time to focus on what movie studios celebrate every weekend in America: Crappy movies. Forget silent movies. How about silent movie theaters as the audiences ponder how they were conned into a 3-D film that punches them in the face with stupidity? The Razzies announced their nominations and it’s truly a list of the worst dumps digitally projected on the silver screen.

Who could have imagined Sandler’s complete domination the field? Me. “They might have to take back awards from last year to truly represent the badness of Sandler playing a brother and sister” was the prediction. The Village People better lock up their Razzies for Can’t Stop the Music since Sandler might grab them. His Jack and Jill is going to be a film that will torture America’s eyeballs for decades to come. Plus there was Razzie disrespect for his equally pathetic Just Go With It. What an amazing one-two punch to bring to the Razzie ceremony on April 1. There’s going to be history made.

What could be a shocker is if men win all four of the acting awards. Sandler’s biggest threat for Worst actress is Martin Lawrence for Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son. Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristen Stewart ought to be just happy to be nominated since they’re not truly in the game. The only woman who can spoil the sausagefest is Sarah Palin for her The Undefeated home movie. Youbetcha. But since she’s not running for president, there’s not much point in voting for her. This is Sandler’s year. How can a Razzie voter not give Sandler both Worst Actor and Worst Actress? Plus he’s up for Worst Couple. He’s a triple threat in two genders. Sandler ought to pace his thank you list since he’ll have plenty of time all night to dish out names of people who said, “This is a great idea!” Worst Supporting Actress also has a tandem of men fighting it out with the ladies. Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman and whomever the girl was in Transformer: Dark Side of the Moon don’t have the balls to win it all. Newcomer Brandon T. Jackson needed a newbie dislike after Big Momma’s: Like Father Like Son. But can he really upset David Spade’s dress work from Jack & Jill? Spade’s earned his award with a career of crappy cinema based on Sandler’s coattails. He’s this year’s Christopher Plummer. It’s tough enough for a woman to get a good role in Hollywood, but now men stealing all the extra bad gigs.

This is an ugly time for Nick Swardson. This was his year for Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. But he’s been eclipsed by his buddy Sandler. Nick’s Bucky Larson nailed noms for Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screen Ensemble, Worst Rip-Off and Worst Screenplay. How did he lose out on Worst Screen Couple? Did Christina Ricci just not slum it hard enough? She couldn’t disappoint enough to let Nick be the student that out sucked the master. Nick secured Worst Supporting Actor for Jack and Jill although he will lose it to Al Pacino playing himself in Jack and Jill. How much of Al’s soul was trampled for him to secure Razzie immortality? Will Al arrive at the ceremony to embrace the treasure?

The Worst director is so diverse since it features Tom Brady for Bucky Larson. Just a shame he wasn’t also nominated for screwing up in his first play in the Super Bowl. A safety? Brady should automatically get two votes for that performance. Bill Condon? How did the guy behind Gods and Monsters reduce himself to Twilight Saga: Breaking Dorks? Garry Marshall has always been a major hack in movies so New Year’s Eve is just the norm for him. Michael Bay would have clinched this in a normal year since it’s part of his pact with Satan, Spielberg and Don Murphy. But Bay didn’t figure on Dennis Dugan making Jack & Jill and Just Go With It in the same year. Why Dugan wasn’t dollied out of the editing room in a body bag from overdosing on shame? He needs a Razzie to top his sundae of schlock.

The only major wrong pick from my Razzie preview was that Your Highness would make it a three film race with Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson. But the badness of that duo smoked Your Highness (made with several of my NCSA classmates). Only James Franco was mocked for his Supporting Acting effort in the film. Danny McBride just couldn’t measure up to the soul sucking cinema of Russell Brand, Nicolas Cage, Taylor Lautner, Sandler and Swardson. Danny isn’t quite up to those stars ability to suck it. Late entry New Year’s Eve stole Your Highness‘s Worst Picture status. The good thing about the Razzies not rushing their nomination time is that voters had a chance to realize if a film was just lame or truly toxic. Danny and his gang will probably just take a bong hit and forget about it. Kinda like how Universal has forgotten about Your Highness.

Fans of the Razzies are hoping that there will be trash talking between Swardson and Sandler about their films. Which guy doesn’t think the other was truly sucking in every scene? Who is the true master of the suck and who is the student of blow? Swardson vs. Sandler ought to be a UFC event. By UFC, I mean UnFunny Cineam. April 1 won’t merely be April Fools Day, it shall be the night that Sandler or Swardson will cement their reputation as the Worst of the Worst. Thankfully Harvey Weinstein won’t be pulling the strings this night.

OSCAR BOYCOTT WORKED

I promised to not watch the Oscars after the Academy begged Russell Brand to join and I did it! How was I able to avoid the lamest Oscars since “The History of Mayo” won best documentary? I caught up on Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. They really need to rename this show to get it even more popular. Who wouldn’t want to watch Spartacus: Xena Gone Wild. Lucy Lawless doesn’t hold anything back when she goes Roman. She’s got some hot action going with Jaime Murray (Dexter season 2). There was no temptation to see The Artist and Hugo grabbing hardware with those two ladies stripped down in an opium love fest. Spring for the Blu-ray when buying Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.

SPOILER ALERT

An annoying source on the set of Eastbound and Down swears the end of the series will feature Kenny Powers being killed at the ballpark. The scene has him just needing to strike out a hitter to clinch the league title and secure a ticket to the big leagues. As he’s finishing his delivery, the team mascot pulls out an Uzi and unloads on Kenny. He gets his strike out as his blood soaks into the pitcher’s mound. Who killed him? Take a couple guesses. They supposedly had five different actors inside the mascot suit for the reveal so none of the production crew can leak the real identity until it’s chosen in the editing room. The third season is the end of the series and the producers don’t want to worry about HBO pressuring them to bring back a fourth season. Of course this might not be the ending since a few weekend ago they reshot a ballpark scene down in Myrtle Beach. Maybe Kenny lives to tell another chapter?

DVD SHELF

Fan Favorites: The Best of are seven compilation DVDs with episodes selected via polls on Facebook for various CBS/Paramount shows. This is a perfect way to introduce a show to a young TV watcher, a quick gift for a pal who doesn’t want to collect season sets or a disc to have in the car for long trips. Fan Favorites: The Best of Happy Days happily sticks to episodes when Richie and the gang were still in high school. The show dropped off in quality when the kids were allegedly in college. The eight episodes go from Richie (Ron Howard) dating a girl with a reputation to the Fonz (Henry Winkler) getting his motorcycle destroyed. You even get to see the mysterious Chuck. Happy Days is the only show of the seven that doesn’t have all entire series available on DVD. Fan Favorites: The Best of The Honeymooners “Classic 39” Episodes gives a sweet taste of Ralph (Jackie Gleason) and Norton (Art Carney). Hard to think that there might be viewers who haven’t watched this classic tale of life in Brooklyn before it was overrun by alleged hipsters. Best is when Ralph becomes the forefather to Billy Mays. Fan Favorites: The Best of Hogan’s Heroes reminds me how great Bob Crane was as a POW. Col. Hogan and his crew operate an Allied base underneath Stalag 13. They’re fighting the Nazis one laugh at a time. The highlight of the show is always Sgt. Schultz (John Banner) faking ignorance. Fan Favorites: The Best of The Odd Couple gives a nice sample of an underrated sitcom. This is the classic case of the neat freak and the mess being roommates. Felix (Tony Randall) does his best to drive Oscar (Jack Klugman) nuts with his OCD ways. Oscar just wants to play Poker, smoke cigars, chase dames and cover games. They have the episode where they get on Password and meet Betty White. She’s everywhere.

Fan Favorites: The Best of Cheers actually has nine episodes about the Boston bar. It’s a bonus drink. Seven of the nine episodes are from era of Diane (Shelley Long) including the pilot. Ted Danson was so young when he started serving beers to Norm (George Wendt) and Cliff (John Ratzenberger). My favorite of the batch is “Thanksgiving Orphans” when the gang comes to Carla’s house to feast on Birdzilla. They should have stopped the show after “An Old Fashioned Wedding.” Woody Harrelson’s wedding was a classic disaster ceremony. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how good Cheers was since the finale was such a bloated affair. Fan Favorites: The Best of Frasier gives a touch of the Cheers spin-off. Dr. Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) skipped across the country to Seattle to become a radio psychologist. He takes care of his dad (John Mahoney) and a cute dog. The episodes give a taste of the romantic tension between his brother (David Hyde Pierce) and dad’s caretaker (Jane Leeves). Fan Favorites: The Best of MacGyver has five episodes from the super spy that can do miracles with three items when he’s trapped. MacGyver was MacAwesome. The four episodes picked by his diehard fans are “Phoenix Under Siege,” “The Widowmaker,” “Legend of the Holy Rose” and “Halloween Knights.” I wonder how many times Patty and Selma voted for their favorite episodes.

The Fan Favorites: The Best of… is a good selection of memorable TV shows. If you want to see if you’re still buzzed by a classic series that your local TV station refuses to run. It’s a great way to share the TV love with those unfortunates who can’t watch a TV show that doesn’t feature a Kardashian.

DOGS AND PENGUINS

For what seems like a decade, fans of Underdog and Tennessee Tuxedo have been teased with way too many single disc compilations. When would someone get serious and release this classic animated show in at least season sets? Well don’t worry about a proper installment issuing. Why? Because all the episodes are now available thanks to Underdog: Complete Collector’s Edition and Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales: The Complete Collection. Shout! Factory got it right. Well as right as you can get with an incomplete vault.

Underdog: Complete Collector’s Edition has all three seasons spread over 9 DVDs. Over the decades. There are a lot of people who think Underdog was created by Jay Ward since elements from Rocky and Bullwinkle would intermingle with Underdog. This wasn’t true. Total TV was a different crew from Jay Ward. What they did have in common was both shows used Mexico’s Gamma studios for animation so the art has a similar feel. Plus they ended up with the same syndicator who shuffled shorts to make bigger shows. Over the decades Underdog has been battered and bruised by syndicators. The last time the aired on cable, a majority of the musical openings and closings had been clipped. This proved to be a really bad thing since Shout! Factory was unable to locate the original masters. They hunted down video copies to insert into the rebuilt episodes. The quality is a little off, but at least the passion to not forget these moments shines bright. Underdog (voiced by Wally Cox) was a shoe shine boy most of the time. When Polly Purebreed sang out for help, he’d run into a phone booth and become a superhero dog. He could also pop a pill for an energy boost when fighting Riff Raff and Simon Bar Sinister. The first two seasons in these reconstituted episodes include Go Go Gophers and The World of Commander McBragg. The Go Go Gophers are Indians that must battle pesky cavalry coyotes to not be forced on a reservation. McBragg is an English adventurer with insane travel tales. The third season gets swapped for a rotation between Tooter the Turtle, Klondike Kat and The Hunter. I’m just happy Shout has put back the ending rhyme to Tooter when Mr. Lizard the Wizard reminds Tooter to be what he is and not what he’s not.

Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales: The Complete Collection brings together all 70 episodes of the enterprising penguin (Get Smart‘s Don Adams) and his pal Chumley the Walrus. The two animals lived in a zoo, but dreamed of getting real jobs outside the cages. Trouble is they always get hired for jobs they are completely unable to perform like being weathermen or newspaper publishers. Thus they constantly consult with Phineas J. Whooppee (F Troop‘s Larry Storch). He breaks down the way things work using his 3-D Blackboard which is the analog version of the iPad. This was one of the best educational shows to ever air simply because as a kid, you didn’t feel like they wanted to make you smarter even though you grasped onto subjects like cloud seeding. Shout! didn’t try to make fake episodes with the elements. The 70 Tennessee Tuxedo shorts run separately. There are other segments that ran as part of Total TV packages included on the 6 DVDs. The King and Odie originally ran on King Leonardo and His Short Subjects. They made new ones to be included in TTAHT which is what is featured in this set. They also have episodes of The Hunter, Tooter the Turtle and Klondike Kat. The bonus features include bumpers found on old videotapes and the short riddle gags. The riddles were a cheap segment which involved only a new blackboard shot to explain a kid’s joke to kids.

Underdog: Complete Collector’s Edition and Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales: The Complete Collection are essential viewing for people who miss the days when these two characters roamed the TV dial after school. Underdog was charming with his rhyming lines and Tennessee was educational without being school related. Having done an unscientific study, today’s little kids like these characters. Both boxsets have documentaries that explain the Total TV story. Larry Storch gets a little camera time to discuss his time with Don Adams. Finally there is no more frustration wondering when will Underdog and Tennessee Tuxedo get a proper release. There’s no need to fear anymore.

DVD SHELF

Here Come The Brides: The Complete Second Season wraps up a show that I never recalled seeing in reruns in my broadcasting area. This a unique Western about a logging company in Seattle. Turns out they have way too many men working and they need them some women. So the company lures a hundred women to the land of Shawn Kemp and Starbucks. David Soul (Starsky & Hutch) and Bobby Sherman (teen idol) are sons of the family running the lumber company. How are the workers going to attract any women with these two young hunks yelling timber. The show is interesting since it’s an extremely female perspective Western. This isn’t merely about rough and tumble men. It’s about women who want love from the Brawny man. “The Legend of Big Foot” brings the hairy beast to town. Or at least people think they’re seeing him. It would still be years until Steve Austin would fight Big Foot. For now he’s got to deal with Bobby and David. There’s also insane girlfriends looking to burn down the lumberyard. It’s a bit of a tizzy. This also marked the end of the show even with the ladies and the Tiger Beat twosome.

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic: The Friendship Express lets the Brony culture rejoice. My Little Pony has returned since kids like colorful small horses with combable manes. The TV show focuses on how the unicorn Twinkle Sparkle is sent to visit the ponies so she can learn what it really means to be a friend. The first way to make friends is to have a cool name like Twinkle Sparkle so people love putting your digits in their smartphone. The show is directly aimed at little kids who are in the process of understanding how to play with others. But there is an element that’s useful for adults who have allowed themselves to only live in the digital realm. You can make friends with human contact. This is a fine set to put in the car’s DVD player to keep the kids calm. The episodes include “Friendship Is Magic, Part 1 (Mare In The Moon),” “Friendship Is Magic, Part 2 (Elements Of Harmony).” “Over A Barrel,” “Hearth’s Warming Eve” and “The Last Roundup.”

Most Valuable Performers reclaims the dignity of Drama department from the overhyped Glee business. Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania is the host of The Freddy Awards show. What are the Freddys and why hasn’t Kanye West won one? They’re given out for local high school musical theater productions. It’s a rather big event in the area with television coverage and musical numbers. The documentary follows three aspiring schools as they prepare for their time in the regional spotlight. They’re more excited about getting to show their talents on the small screen than merely grabbing a piece of hardware. The show is a lot more entertaining than the Oscars and without the stigma of Russell Brand being a voting member. The movie does its best to remind us that schools need to keep the arts part of their educational agenda instead of focusing on being football and basketball factories. The DVD release is part of Oprah Winfrey’s OWN Documentary Club which is a lot cooler than her book club.

Mandrill set the action tone when Marko Zaror does a bicycle kick beatdown of two goons at once. He’s a badass bounty hunter who wants revenge on the people that killed his parents. He’s extra cool on the job. But he can’t deal with women. He’s a blithering idiot around the fair sex. Turns out he needs to change that around. He’s on the trail of a mobster casino owner, but the path goes through the creep’s daughter, Celine Reymond. Marko must seduce her in order to get close to her daddy. Can he turn on the romance? If it works, can he remain tough enough in his heart to ice his future father-in-law? Best to watch the original before it gets watered down with Channing Tatum in the lead.

WWJDII The Woodcarver lets John Ratzenberger (Cliff on Cheers) get back in front of the camera instead of being a voice in the latest Pixar hit. An angry teen takes out his anger on a church. He destroys so much of the historic building. Instead of sending him straight to prison, he gets set straight by helping repair the place as Ratzenberger’s assistant. The two learn a lot about each other while restoring the church to it’s pre-vandalism state. This is a religious special that’s perfect for viewing by any Holy Roller relatives who need to watch something while staying at your house. There’s nothing that will offend them in this soul warming production. Ratzenberger gives a fine performance as the shy woodworker who takes the boy under his wing.

I Melt With You has the tale of four best friends who go off for a boy’s weekend to celebrate a birthday. Instead of going to Vegas, they go to a nice beach house. What could go wrong? Plenty since the friends are Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, Rob Lowe, and Christian McKay (Borgias). They kiss their wives and kids goodbye and go off for a weekend of pure debauchery. Rob Lowe provides the pills and the party goes into overdrive. But there’s a dark secret between the four. The film gave me a Fandango vibe without Kevin Costner. Director Mark Pellington seems to be going intimate. I remember when he came to Raleigh to shoot the Connell’s “74-75” at the high school next to my house. He’d capture stardom with Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy.” Afterwards the feature films came with Going All the Way, Arlington Road and the The Mothman Prophecies. He took a few years away from the big screen and has returned with smaller stories such as this and Henry Poole is Here (which I swore was directed by Hal Hartley). The film is a fine warning as to why you should never party with Rob Lowe.

Recoil finally give Stone Cold Steve Austin a marquee villain match up. He’s got to battle Danny Trejo (Machete) in a town that’s one big Elimination Chamber. Trejo’s the underworld kingpin who might have had something to do with Austin’s family being slaughtered. Steve’s not there to investigate the crime so much as to dish out a six pack on vengeance on Trejo and his biker crew. It’s pure asskicker of a plot. This isn’t made for people who believe in avoiding violence. This is much more entertaining than The Rock’s remake of Walking Tall. Kinda strange watching Stone Cold fight without those giant knee braces or a beer can in his hand. Those must be trademarked by Vince McMahon. Bonus features include deleted scenes and making of documentary.

Hazel: The Complete Second Season brings the Baxters to color. Turns out NBC wanted Hazel (Shirley Booth) to also be proud as a peacock. Hazel was a maid that truly ran the house. She didn’t even do it on the sly. She was pretty blunt on controlling the Baxter family. Mr. Baxter (Don DeFore) didn’t dare cross the woman. She was so hyper connected in the community that he’d be an outcast. This season gives fans a chance to see James Doohan (Star Trek‘s Scotty). Harold Gould makes his required appearance. Best is seeing a young Jamie Farr without a dress. Shocking. Hazel is such a fun series since she controls the Baxter family to the point where the son thinks she’s the real parent in his life. The season finale has Hazel pondering getting married and leaving the Baxters alone. Can that happen? Will the family survive on their own? Think of Hazel as The Help without racial issues to make you question whether its proper to laugh.

Matlock: The Seventh Season opens up with Andy Griffith’s return to North Carolina. After the first six seasons were shot in Los Angeles, the production was switched Wilmington, NC. He also swapped from NBC to ABC. “The Vacation” is a double size episode that sends him properly to Wilmington on a vacation with his oldest daughter Leanne (Brynn Thayer). She’s there to hang out with friends. Matlock just wants his hotdogs. During his grocery store visit he bumps into recent law school graduate Cliff Lewis (Daniel Roebuck). Is he a creepy stalker guy? Unfortunately we know he can’t be that evil since he’s featured in the opening credits. Matlock has to bail him out of trouble. Cliff gets to become his young attorney partner. “The Legacy” warms up the screen with the late, great, sizzling Anita Morris. There’s adultery in this case. “The Mark” feature America’s favorite church parking lot boozer Randy Travis. “The Obsession” will make you obsessed with getting a glimpse of Vivca A. Fox. There’s four few double length episodes so make sure to pace yourself. It’s just a joy knowing that Andy got to finally bring his show to his native land.

Mission: Impossible: The ’89 TV Season are the last missions that Jim Phelps (Peter Graves) accepted. This is a continuation of the resurrected series that was shot down in Australia with a new team. Greg Morris revives his Barney Collier character in “The Golden Serpent.” He’s got to help out his old partner and his son (played by Greg’s real son Phil Morris) in a battle with a Southeast Asian drug cartel. “The Princess” makes the team protect a Princess targeted because she making her country like America. “Countdown” marks a small country’s capital for a self-inflicted nuclear attack. “Target Earth” attempts to turn a space program into a weapon of destruction. “The Fuehrer’s Children” brings the Nazis back to the IMF’s radar. The show was shot on film, but post produced in standard def video so it’s not as sharp as the original series. It’s still quite fun with the missions getting bigger and bigger over the course of the season. The season only lasted 16 episodes. After this, the concept would be mothballed until it became Tom Cruise’s movie series in which all the IMF’s enemies are rouge IMF agents. I miss Peter Graves accepting his missions no matter how impossible things seemed in the briefings.

O-TOWN – How can you not love a wallaby in a pseudo Hawaiian shirt? Rocko’s Modern Life was a cult hit on Nickelodeon back in the mid-90s and is returning on home video. This month Rocko’s Modern Life: Season Two hits the DVD Shelves.

Rocko is voiced by Carlos Alazraqui, best known as Deputy Garcia on Reno 911!. Tom Kenny (Mr Show) gets tone to Hefer Wolfe, Rocko’s slightly out of it cow pal. You might know Kenny as the star of SpongeBob Squarepants. This show is where Kenny and SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenberg came together. But don’t make the mistake of viewing Rocko as the testing ground for SpongeBob. Rocko’s Modern Life is a great show by itself.

As someone who didn’t have cable when it aired, the show feels fresh. This isn’t like enduring a series packed with Jonas Brothers jokes. Season Two starts off with a new theme song from B-52s. “I Have No Son!” introduces us the disowned animator son of the Bigheads. There’s even a Christmas special.

I had a chance to swap questions via email with Rocko’s Modern Life‘s creator Joe Murray. After Rocko’s Modern Life, Murray went on to create Camp Lazlo. He’s currently making Frog In a Suit for KaboingTV. Our questions stuck with Rocko.

Party Favors: Looking back, do you find it odd that you had an easier time making Rocko into an animated series than getting it published as a comic book?

Joe Murray: Well, the Marvel Comic book came after the show started. Some people think it was the other way around. So it wasn’t difficult, until I tried to have a hand in the comic book on top of all my other duties.

Party Favors: Did you find yourself having a casting session with the supporting characters from the comic book deciding which ones deserved a recurring role?

Joe Murray: Supporting characters quite often start pushing their way to the front if they want more camera time.?

Party Favors: What was it like for you to go from working privately on the comic book to having story sessions with other writers?

Joe Murray: Well, I position this question to: What was it like to going from being my own writer on my Independent films to working with writers. Well,,, difficult. Especially when Nickelodeon first tried to “assign” a writer/editor they liked to me, and we didn’t get along. I had to say him or me because it was not working. Why have a creator driven show if they bring in someone who has his own vision of what the show should be?

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Party Favors: Was there a discussion to call Rocko a Kangaroo?

Joe Murray: Not really. Nick liked that it was an odd animal. Relatively unknown.?

Party Favors: How did you end up making an animated series that features two main characters that aren’t loud and annoying?

Joe Murray: Why? Is that a formula? I wasn’t aware of that. Good thing. I just did a show that I connected to and related to.?

(Editor note: It is the Seth MacFarlane Formula of Success.)

Party Favors: How can Rocko work at a comic book store without being so judgmental of customers?

Joe Murray: Because he’s nice sweet Rocko. He just goes about his business while chaos happens around him.?

Party Favors: Had you seen Tom Kenny’s work on Mr. Show before he auditioned?

Joe Murray: Actually no. I did see his stand up comedy routine, and that’s what attracted me . Plus he’s such a great nice guy. Who wouldn’t want to work with that in combination with sickening fantastic talent??

Party Favors: How do you cast voice talent? Did you let Carlos Alazraqui test out his own voice ideas in the process?

Joe Murray: Yes. Carlos, who was also from stand up comedy, did great voices. He had never done voice acting before, but he was a natural. We had a long line of actors trying to do Rocko, and I just kept shaking my head no, no, not it, no.
And then Carlos nailed it,,, as well as Spunky. Plus Carlos is great guy as well. I don’t work with them if they are not nice guys.?

Party Favors: What allowed you to get the B-52s to perform the theme song?

Joe Murray: Well,, actually Nick asked me who my dream band would be to do the music for Rocko, and the B-52’s were on the top of the list. It just so happened one of the Nick producers knew Pat Irwin who did composing and was the keyboardist for the B-52’s. He did a demo for me and I loved it. Then it was just matter of him asking his friends in the band to do the opening song. I was there at the recording in New York, and we all had a great time.?

Party Favors: Did you have your own way to figure out if an episode could entertain an adult yet appeal to a kid?

Joe Murray: Well, we were all big kids, and we all found it funny. So that kind of covered us on all bases. We had the highest overall households ratings, so I guess it worked.?

Party Favors: We’re you pretty secure in the way the show would work for season two or was it still a big adventure?

Joe Murray: Every season is an adventure. But the way animation works, we needed to start season 2 before we aired the first episode of season 1, the main premiere. So we didn’t even know how any one was going to respond to this bizarre show. We just kept doing what we were doing on Season 1, but better. Filburt broke out as a more prominent character, the writing got better, we settled into a real great production groove. We got rid of the line producers, editors and writers that were assigned by Nick in the first season so the second season was smooth sailing as far as chemistry in the studio was concerned. I can’t wait for season 3 to come out. In my opinion that was the best.?

Party Favors: Are you excited about Season 2 coming out since it has Ralph Bighead’s arrival? Was Ralph you or a composite of all the people working on the show?

Joe Murray: No, Ralph was pretty much me. But the directors and writers also resonated with him. The episode “I Have No Son” was a lot of fun to do, except I don’t like my voice as Ralph Bighead. The episode “Wacky Deli” that came later was also a lot of fun.

Party Favors: How far into Season 2 did you know there would be Season 3?

Joe Murray: Well, we knew early on that we were going to start producing episodes for season 3, but didn’t know if they would air. ( we were pretty sure they would, but in entertainment, you never know. Season 3 was the last season I was completely in the trenches as a hands on Director, Producer Story editor. So I wanted to have fun with it. Season 4 I was the Executive Producer, and Steve Hillenburg (Spongebob) took over more of my jobs.?

Party Favors: What do you feel you did as a story editor back in the ’90s that made “Rocko’s Modern Life” still enjoyable for new viewers today?

Joe Murray: Well, we didn’t know how it would appeal to anyone. People thought it was a weird show back then, and I think more people “Got it” as time went on. I wanted to make Rocko a show that you could watch again and again, and get something new we put in each time. I hope we did that. Thanks to Shout, we have them on DVD now and the audience can do that.
The Party Favors would like to thank Joe Murray and the fine folks at Shout! Factory for setting up our email exchange with Joe Murray.

SAVE THE GREETER

Recently Walmart has been tinkering with the position of People Greeter. First it was eliminating the role from the overnight hours. This made sense since the old folks who stand at the entrances don’t like being night owls. Now they want to shift the greeters to further back in the store and make them restockers. How can Walmart think of messing with the position?

The only thing that gives Walmart an ounce of humanity is the old people at the front entrance saying “Welcome to Walmart.” Without the greeter, a Walmart is nothing more than a computer controlled box stocked with cheap Chinese products on the verge of being recalled and preprocessed frankenfoods. The old person gives the illusion that someone cares that I’m shopping in their inhuman labyrinth of consumerism. Plus the People Greeter reminds us that there might still be a job for us when we’re 80 years old and discover our retirement plan was a worthless scam. What other jobs can an 80 year old do? Grandma can’t work at Hooters. They have a rule that your breasts can’t drop below your orange shorts.

Let Walmart know that you need a greeter. I propose a Vampire Protest. Refuse to enter a Walmart until someone greets you to come inside. Thousands of people must cluster outside Walmarts across this country to hive the message to Bentonville. We need our People Greeters! And I’m not just writing this because I’m about to publish The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters. Although it would help sales if they still had People Greeters.

BLU-HEAVEN

Star Trek: The Next Generation – The Next Level is a demonstration of what happens to the U.S.S. Enterprise as it hits the warp speed of high dentition. When the series originally aired, the live action was shot on 35mm film, but the special effects were done in standard video. This worked well for the syndicated television world of 1987. But now in the world of HDTV, ST:TNG does not look modern. Luckily someone at Paramount realized that this show wasn’t always going to be stuck on standard def channels. They basically redid the post-production on the show. The original 35mm film was rescanned, the special effects were recreated in a higher resolution and a fresh 7.1 DTS-HD sound mix was created. The results judging from the three episodes on this sampler Blu-ray are magnificent. All the little details onboard the deck come out. You’ll be able to read the emotions of Deanna Troi. Ladies should be warned about seeing the young Wil Wheaton in 1080p. The uniforms have a sheen to them. “Encounter at Farpoint” is the double episode pilot that brought the franchise back to the small screen. Picard and crew have their first encounter with Q. The higher being is eager to smash them if they fail his test. Season Three’s “Sin of the Father” makes Worf defend his father’s honor in a Klingon ceremony. Season Five’s “The Inner Light” plays with how a lost civilization gets Picard to remember them. This is a fine sampler to let folks see the glory of the fresh post-production. If you need a gift for your Star Trek fanatic pal, this is it.

DVD SHELF

Happy, Happy is a cute, cute film from Norway. Kaja (Agnes Kittelsen)is excited when new neighbors move next door in the middle of winter. She adores the new couple since they seem so perfect. Her own marriage is turning into a bit of a pain since her husband is more focused on their kids. He’s lost his sex drive. The new couple gets her a little excited and she ends up doing something that can bust up every one’s lives. But she’s not sinister about it. She’s not out to destroy and claim as reawaken herself. Plus the husband needs a little payback since they moved after his wife admitted to having an affair. This is a great throwback to the foreign language sex comedies that used to appeal to an art house audience that didn’t mind subtitles to see how risqué the rest of the world lives. They do sing in English.

Outrage: Way of the Yakuza is the kind of Asian mobster film that would have had me driving out to Dave’s Videodrome in Carrboro to rent the VHS tape in ’93. Luckily it’s cheaper nowadays to just online order the DVD or Blu-ray and not have to worry about the price of gas and late fee. Takeshi Kitano remains a cinematic artist who paints the screen in badass red. He wrote, directed, edited and starred in Outrage. This is his movie. The Yakuza, the Japanese version of the Mafia, are changing to fit the 21st century. No longer are they tattoo covered goons with missing fingers. They’re hustling in the age of digital technology. There’s a power struggle as aging lions are targeted by young cubs with sharp teeth. Kitano’s mobster is part of a family looking to mess with their neighboring crime family. A little disrespect tumbles into an all out mobster war with bodies piling up. Did you know that instead of sending a muffin basket for a slight screw up, you include the finger of the Japanese intern? Think of how many fingers would be piling up at the various new channels. Outrage would have been worth the drive to the Videodrome.

Police Woman: Season Two gets Angie Dickinson’s iconic series back on the release tracks after six years. The series was a spin-off from Police Story when the public couldn’t get enough of Sgt. Pepper Anderson (Dickinson) and her partner Sgt. Bill Crowley (Earl Holliman). The duo enjoyed going undercover to bust mobsters, pimps, drug dealers and more mobsters in Los Angeles. “Pawns of Power” bring son the heavyweight talent of Mr. Robert Goulet! Even wonder how long Ian McShane has been around? He’s in “The Chasers” with Film Noir legend Ida Lupino in 1975. “Farewell, Mary Jane” has Angie saying hello to Sam Elliott, Geoffrey Lewis and Loni Anderson. “Glitter with a Bullet” dazzles with Frank Gorshin (Batman‘s The Riddler). Future supercop Erik Estrada (CHiPs) is part of “Don’t Feed the Pigeons.” There’s only two more seasons left. “The Pawn Shop” trades in a younger Joan Collins. “Wednesdays Child” gives us the joy of Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) and Raymond St. Jacques (Coffin Ed in Cotton Comes to Harlem). The season wraps up with the two part “Task Force: Cop Killer.” Angie might be targeted. The series kicks. There’s only two more seasons left to be released.

The Adventures of Chuck and Friends: Friends to the Finish is about tiny Tonka trucks. Chuck’s a jacked up dumptruck with a need for speed. The show appeals to little kids who are can handle motor vehicles with eyeballs. Chuck’s brother is a big time racer so the kid has a Speed Racer quality. The show’s big focus appears to be on the worthy nature of practice. This is series is not Allen Iverson approved. Each episode is about 11 minutes long so it has the ability to keep a little kid’s attention before they start zipping their own cars and trucks around the floor.

Limelight gives the history of New York City’s legendary nightclub that was inside a church. The mixing of religious architecture and ecstasy that took over the mantle of decadence from Studio 54. Owner Peter Gatien went beyond Studio 54 when he created a nightlife kingdom within the Big Apple. He also ran Tunnel, Palladium (home of Club MTV) and Club USA. During the ’80s and ’90s, Gatien’s clubs had larger audiences than the Yankees. Cocaine Cowboy‘s Bill Corben once more scores in creating a documentary that reminds us America likes to get messed up and party down. Gatien’s clubs not only helped mark the rise of Rave culture, but his Tunnel’s rap night created a hip hop nation. Naturally the mayor of New York had to shut down anything that wasn’t wholesome. The infamous Party Killer murder of a club kid by one of the Limelight’s top party promoter didn’t help the cause. The documentary allows Gatien and the players discuss how the city dismantled the velvet ropes and escorted Gatien back to Canada. This is a bigger story than Studio 54. Sad thought is that soon the Limelight will be turned into an iHop. Be careful if you find a lost “sugar packet” under your table.

?Father Dowling Mysteries: The First Season brought Tom Bosley back Happy Days purgatory. He’s a pastor of a Catholic Church in Chicago that loves mystery novels and true detective tales. He’s got an eye for details and the ability to spot sin in a man’s soul. He’s also got a cute nun (Tracy Nelson) as his sidekick. The show was made by the people behind Matlock so it has the same tone in the crimes. “Fatal Confession” was the TV pilot movie that stole America’s heart in 1987. Father Dowling doesn’t believe a parishioner is a suicide. He has to juggle his investigation with running various church function. The first season only had 7 episodes when it started in the winter of ’89. His cases included mobster priests, hookers, babies, evil brothers and Harriet Nelson. After confession, you can always use an episode of Father Dowling to replace 10 Hail Marys.

COURT OF THE CRIMSON KING – How sweet it is that Youtube no longer inflicts a ten minute limit to posted video clips. Video uploaders used to slice away frames to get it under the clock. No longer do big pieces have to be butchered into multiple segments forcing viewers to find the next segment. If only this had happened before I had to slice my visit to Dennis Hof’s Bunny Ranch into ten parts. The bliss of the longer time was recently enjoyed when Luxuriamusic.com’s Chuck Kelly introduced me to a King Crimson concert special made for French TV in 1974.

The band is in its Starless and Bible Black glory with Robert Fripp (guitar), John Wetton (bass and vocals), David Cross (Violin and Melotron) and Bill Bruford (drums). What struck me while watching the show was Bruford’s white overalls with the Boston Bruins logo. Seeing how the Bruins have returned to the Stanley Cup winning glory of the Bobby Orr years, this is a good time to discover where he got the overalls. It was the ’70s and stores were packed with odd items such as umbrella hats, tube tops and leisure suits. Were these overalls bought at the Boston Bruins gift shop inside the Boston Garden? Did he originally get them when he was touring arenas with Yes? Were they a fan’s present?

After a fruitless internet search, I headed over to Bill Bruford’s website which conveniently is www.billbruford.com. Amazingly enough, a photo on the site of Bill and the cover of his autobiography has him wearing the mysterious Boston Bruins overalls. There was not quick answer on the site to their origin. It was time to ask Bill Bruford directly by clicking “Contact.”

The contact section didn’t look too inviting. “Bill has retired from public performance and regrets that he is no longer available for chitchat and advice. He is unlikely to be blogging,” the site warns. “Bill has been interviewed exhaustively on all aspects of his career, particularly those relating to Progressive Rock. His involvement in and thoughts on this are well represented first-hand in the following recommended sources. He would be grateful if these could be referred to before applying for further interviews on the subject.”

This seemed like a dead end. He’s retired and probably has better things to do than recall his wardrobe from nearly 40 years ago. But by this point I had become fully obsessed with his Bruins overalls. What’s the price of sending an email to England? It was worth a risk.

So I wrote a quick note: I poked around your book, but couldn’t find the answer to this nagging question – how did you end up with the white pair of overalls with the Boston Bruins logo? Were they made for you by a fan or bought off the rack? It’s the pair you’re wearing on the cover of the book.

A few days later, an email arrived from the webmaster of Bill Bruford’s website:

Thanks for your query which Bill has read and asked me to respond to. His girlfriend sewed the Bruins logo onto a store-bought pair of overalls, and the logo sort of became adopted by Bill.

FYI there’s a new T-Shirt in the store that features the logo that you might like.

What a relief. The mystery of the Bruins overalls has been solved. This explains why you can’t find Bruins white overalls on eBay. Perhaps someday Boston’s Sports Museum will display Bill’s Bruin overalls next to the good luck windbreaker from last year’s Stanley Cup winning run?

In case your curious, the t-shirt is from Bill’s 1980 tour and uses his variation of the spoked B. Here’s the full link:
http://www.nexternal.com/shared/StoreFront/default.asp?CS=bruford&StoreType=BtoC&Count1=842144191&Count2=759284615

KING AND QUEEN OF TV 2011

Normally the honor of being the King of TV is bestowed upon one person that made the cable crackle. But this year we’re pleased to announce a tie. Barry Weiss of Storage Wars and Danielle Colby Cushman of American Pickers are the King and Queen of TV for 2011.

Barry Weiss is what makes Storage Wars fun to watch. His arrival is always a treat as he drives up in another fantastic car from a collection that must rival Jay Leno. His sense of fashion is not matched by the others in the group who have clung to their identities. He’s more bold than Dave Hester’s black work uniform, Darryl’s cheesy tanktops and Jarrod’s brand of t-shirts. Only Brandi comes close to Barry’s choices. Barry can go from a skeleton motorcycle jacket to a St. Patrick’s Day outfit. Drew Carey ought to dress like Barry. While the other four people whine about how they need to keep their stores and flea market tables stocked, Barry arrives at the abandoned storage unit auctions for a sense of adventure. He keeps the cool stuff. Barry reminds us that it’s good for the elderly to have a hobby outside of cutting their pills in half. He made his money in produce sales in SoCal. Now he’s sharing the lettuce with the rest of America. Barry’s the kind of guy that if you spot him while you’re out, you’re first response is “I’m at the right place.” When I grow up, I want to be Barry Weiss.

Danielle Colby Cushman is the person stuck behind in Iowa when Frank and Mike go around America digging through barns for rusty treasures. She works the phones and moves merchandise at the shop. Danielle is TV’s anti-Pixie girl with her numerous tattoos and rockabilly attitude. Her love of roller derby and burlesque makes her all curves and elbows. If there was a battle to the death at Antique Archeology, my money is on Danielle to make quick work of Frank and Mike. For those pondering what she has on her lower back, you can hunt online and see it’s a tribute to a violin.

In a world where reality TV has the stars share too much personal information, Barry and Danielle maintain a little bit of mystery on the screen. They’re not the Kardashians or Gene Simmons with the camera having to expose every element of their life.

What’s amazing is how Barry and Danielle have all the makings of a celebrity power couple. Danielle’s the perfect riding companion in Barry’s unique car collection. Barry’s the right guy to occupy a table at her modern burlesque show. If they’re smart, they’ll at least hang out long enough to create speculation in all the tabloids. The media will wonder what these two really have in common? The answer is simple: they’re the Party Favors King and Queen of TV for 2011.

THAT GUY

What’s the point of Channing Tatum?

Why is Channing Tatum? Has there ever been a leading man that’s been so forgettable? He’s got the facial expression range of a pencil eraser. He’s so lame that I think he’s a Nick Swardson impersonation. Watching one of his movies makes me understand how Alzheimer’s Disease works. Halfway through I’ll forget he’s in the movie. And when he reappears, I only know it’s him because I recognize that I’ll be forgetting he’s in the film in a few minutes. It would probably help if he wore a nametag that read “Hello, I’m Channing Tatum. Pardon the dust.” His acting name ought to be Velveeta Watercress.

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature Lethal Ladies 2 brings plenty of female action to the screen. Put plenty of butter on the popcorn for this marathon. The first feature is The Arena which reunites Pam Grier and Margaret Markov after their hit Black Mama, White Mama. Instead of a steamy Filipino prison, the duo are now chained up in ancient Rome. Even though both are repressed, they still despise each other. They are owned by the guy who runs the local gladiator arena. Here’s a great scene of the ladies messing up the kitchen:

Pam and Margaret’s battle inspires the owner to book female fighting at his arena to get the crowd pumped up. Things are kinda fun at first until the crowd craves a human sacrifice at the end of the match.

Pam and Margaret have to team up to escape before they’re forced to kill each other. The Arena is all swords, sandals and seduction. Even though this take place before indoor plumbing, there’s still a showering scene. The bonus features include a commentary from director Steve Carver. A short documentary interviews Carver, Margaret and Roger Corman. Turns out somebody got married after the shoot.

Fly Me returns us to Asia courtesy of Corman’s Filipino counterpart Cirio H. Santiago (Firecracker). Three stewardesses get on their trans-Pacific flight to Hong Kong looking for kicks. Pat Anderson wants to have a frisky time with a frequent flyer except her mother has a ticket to ride. Naomi Stevens (The Apartment) wants to keep her daughter a virgin by being an annoying form of birth control. One gal gets kidnapped in Hong Kong by mobsters. The third stewardess hunts for her missing boyfriend. While the synopsis talks about stewardesses using kung fu to fight off hijackers on their plane, this never happens. Santiago’s plane set is barely large enough for a Piper cub. A kick at the back bathroom would land on the co-pilot’s head. There are plenty of kung fu battles on the ground especially when a stewardess has to fight off the human traffickers. The three stories intersect at an outlaw brothel at a seedy airport. The first reel of the print is rather rough, but this was the only copy Shout! Factory could find of the film. The film appeared to have never been released on VHS so this was the only way to see it. The remaining three reels are cleaner. Consider this the true grindhouse effect. Dick Miller has a cameo as a taxi driver who gets an eyeful of his stewardess passenger. Vic Diaz is a hungry cop who bonds with the annoying mom.

Cover Girl Models is another Santiago film. This time American models come to the Asian location and get tangled in a spy ring. There’s lot of chases through the Filipino locations. Pat Anderson and Vic Diaz of Fly Me return to the trouble. You can never have enough Vic Diaz in your video collection. Mary Woronov’s office at the modeling agency has the poster art for The Arena on the wall. This moment ties together the triple feature.

DVD SHELF

Hawaii Five-O: The Twelfth and Final Season wraps up the Jack Lord era. With James MacArthur (Danno) quitting the show during the hiatus, Steve McGarrett’s elite police force only consisted of Duke (Herman Wedemeyer). He needed to restock the force. “A Lion in the Street” focuses on mobsters making a grab for a Hawaiian hotel workers’ union. The first new hire is Truck (Moe Keale). He’s a schlub version of Kono who often gets turned into a punching bag by the bad guys. Jim Carew (Rich Man, Poor Man‘s William Smith) is an ex-cop out to nail mobster Ross Martin (The Wild Wild West). McGarrett likes Carew’s toughness and makes him part of the team after renaming him Kimo. Guess he needed a Danno-style name to call out. “Who Says Cops Don’t Cry?” almost makes Kevin Wilson (Frankie Stevens) part of Five-O. He gets killed before McGarrett can give him the news. McGarrett gives the slot to Wilson’s wife (Sharon Farrell). “Through the Heaven’s Fall” lets a sports club hunt down crooks that beat the system. Robert Reed (The Brady Bunch) is part of the justice group. All you need to know about “School for Assassins” is Lloyd Bochner guest stars. Is that a young Jeff Daniels in “The Flight of the Jewels?” Why it is. The big finale is “Woe to Wo Fat.” This is the final face off between McGarrett and his arch enemy. Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh) is kidnapping scientists for his latest plot. McGarrett puts on a disguise so he can get into Wo’s lair. None of the rest of the Five-O force appears so it’s just these two giants facing off in the jungle. People often debate about how weird Hawaii Five-O had become by the end of it’s run. But if you’ve been collecting the series, the final season isn’t that outlandish. The only real disappointment is the final lines spoken by Jack Lord weren’t “Book ’em, Danno!” Aloha, McGarrett!

Mannix: The Sixth Season brings more tales from the greatest Scotch and Steak private eye of the 20th Century. Joe Mannix (Mike Connors) takes on all cases and sometimes finds himself the target this season. His only real back up is Peggy Fair (Gail Fisher). “The Open Web” has nothing to do with the SOPA. It’s got everything to do with Rip Torn (The Larry Sanders Show) being tracked down by Mannix. “Cry Silence” gives the double power of Geoffrey Lewis (the man who isn’t Robert Pine) and Anthony Zerbe (Licence to Kill). “The Crimson Halo” marks the return of Joseph Campenella except he’s not Lew Wickersham from season one. Robert Reed takes a break from being Mr. Brady to play Lt. Adam Tobias on a couple episodes including “Portrait of a Hero” and “Inside Man.” “To Kill a Memory” won’t let you forget Martin Sheen and John Vernon (National Lampoon’s Animal House). “One Step to Midnight” lets Harold Gould (The Dean of Thespians) express an evil side. Adam West (Batman) gets to cross paths with Mannix on “A Puzzle for One.” “A Matter of Principle” gives us Fish (Abe Vigoda) and The Bride of Frankenstein (Elsa Lanchester). “The Faces of Murder” gives the sweetness of Tina Louise (Ginger on Gilligan’s Island). “Search for a Whisper” silences with William Shatner (Star Trek) and Yvonne Craig (Batgirl on Batman). How did they not cast Burt Ward? The season wraps up with “The Danford File.” That file includes Jessica Walter (Arrested Development & Archer). Another fine season of Mannix fighting off trouble while keeping a fist ready for his drink. Only two more to go before all Mannix is above the bar.

Dennis the Menace: The Final Season brings to an end the live action adventures of the world’s smallest tornado. What finally brought an end to his reign of neighborhood terror? Did Mr. Wilson finally go nuts and take care of business? Nope. It was worse. Actor Jay North hit puberty. The show was based on a cartoon about an out of control kid. Audiences weren’t ready to see a teenage version of the kid. The producers cranked out 38 more episodes for the fourth season before Dennis had to shave. Gale Gordon had become Mr. Wilson without any talk about his missing brother anymore. He’s a writer that turns into Dennis’ biographer. “The Chinese Girl” brings Chinese guests to Mr. Wilson’s house. Dennis takes a shine to the daughter while Margaret (Jeannie Russell) wants to give her a shiner. “The New Principal” brings Charles Lane to the academic search. “Wilson’s Second Childhood” lets him act like the rest of the kids for an article. One of his new playmates is Kurt Russell (Big Trouble in Little China). “My Uncle Ned” is none other than Edward Everett Horton (Rocky Show). “Junior Astronaut” lets Dennis meet John “Shorty” Powers, a real astronaut. Mr. Wilson can’t get the kid launched into orbit like a chimp. “Baby Booties” turns the simple act of knitting into the talk of the town. Mrs. Wilson makes booties to put over Mr. Wilson’s golf clubs. Dennis spreads the word that she’s really knocked up. Mr. Wilson does need kids in “My Four Boys.” He can’t win a prize from Harvey Korman if he can’t claim Dennis and three other punks as his sons. A series can’t end until Harold Gould does a guest shot. In this case, he arrives for “The Three F’s.” Shout! Factory is offering a complete set of all four seasons for those of you who won’t buy a TV show until it’s all released on DVD.

Action Double Feature: The Last Hard Men / Sky Riders is a double dose of James Coburn on horseback and in the air. Coburn’s one of the great tough guys of cinema. He’s given the proper twin bill that might have played a nearby drive-in back in 1976. The Last Hard Men is a rough and tumble western. Coburn’s breaks out of prison with revenge on his mind. He wants to destroy Charlton Heston for sending him away. Coburn makes him suffer first by kidnapping Charlton’s daughter (Barbara Hershey). Eventually it comes down to Coburn versus Charlton to the extreme in the wilderness. Larry Wilcox (CHiPs) and Michael Parks (Kill Bill) have supporting roles. Director Andrew McLaglen had previous made Monkeys, Go Home! and MST3K classic Mitchell with Joe Don Baker.

Sky Riders takes us back to the days when hang gliding was all the Hollywood rage. Robert Culp’s wife (Superman II‘s Susannah York) and children get kidnapped. The star of I Spy fails to rescue them with police help. It’s up to James Coburn to handle the situation since he’s York’s ex-husband. He figures out the best way to attack the terrorists’ mountain top hideout is with a crack hang gliding team. John Beck (Rollerball) is part of the soaring fun.

I can’t get enough of the hang gliding fun. Here’s another clip:

Coburn’s rules the screen in this double feature. Sky Riders is so freakish with the hang gliding that it’s a perfect film to invite pals over for popcorn and Pabst.

Monsignor is an inadvertent comedy. Christopher Reeve plays a priest who moves up the Holy ladder at Vatican City starting in World War II. He’s a fighting priest who took on the Nazis before getting the what should be cushy job of treasurer of the Roman Catholic Church. However the war has messed up the money. Reeve must make dirty deals with Italian mafia members to keep things afloat. He also has plenty of lust in his heart and hooks up with a nun (Genevieve Bujold of Dead Ringers). Everything is over the top without the actors sensing they’re camp religious icons. Instead of playing a priest again, Jason Miller (The Exorcist & Nickel Ride) gets to mob it up. Adolfo Celi (the villain from Thunderball) gets to wear a Cardinal’s red. Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix) is an old army buddy. The film is so brilliantly dramatic that it has more laughs than an Adam Sandler comedy. Nobody seems to know this isn’t a great film. Director Frank Perry was hot off Mommie Dearest so he still had the mojo flowing through is fingertips. Hard to figure out how the guy who helmed Diary of a Mad Housewife could end up calling the shots on Monsignor. I hope he had some serious demons. Survivors of Catholic high schools will enjoy thinking Christopher Reeve could wear the collar.

Kojak: The Complete Movie Collection features the original pilot movie (which isn’t on the Season One boxset) and seven revival specials. “The Marcus-Nelson Murders” (1973) introduced America to the Lt. Theo Kojak (Telly Savalas), a Greek police detective on the trail of a killer. While they already have a confessed suspect, Kojak doesn’t buy it. While the pilot doesn’t contain his supporting actors from the series, it is packed with stars including Marjoe Gortner (Food of the Gods), Jose Ferrer, Ned Beatty, Allen Garfield and Chita Rivera. After it’s five season run in the ’70s, Kojak returned as two TV movies in the mid-80s. “The Belarus File” (1985) spices things up as Kojak is teamed with Suzanne Pleshette (The Bob Newhart Show) to track down Nazis. The reunion movie is a little bit bittersweet since it would be George Savalas’ final outing as Stavros. He’d die soon after. “The Prince of Justice” (1987) makes him suspect Kate Nelligan has killed her two sons. Kojak would get promoted to Inspector when ABC revived the series as part of the Mystery Movie Series along with Columbo in 1989. Kojak would get a new crew including Andre Braugher as Detective Winston Blake. “It’s Always Something” has the return of Crocker (Kevin Dobson) although now he’s an Assistant D.A. “None So Blind” has Kojak tangle with Rip Torn (The Larry Sanders Show) and Jerry Orbach (Dirty Dancing). “Fatal Flaw” scores with the fatally seductive Angie Dickinson. While it seems odd that The Complete Movie Collection comes out before Season Three arrives in March, the inclusion of the original pilot helps make sense of the police detective who pondered, “Who love ya, baby.”

DURHAM – Every time they announce the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees, “Weird Al” Yankovic gets ignored. Why do they refuse to be serious about the crown prince of polka pop spoofs? It is a crime of omission since Weird Al has been a force of nature since Dr. Demento first played “My Bologna” in 1979. He’s outlasted a majority of the acts he’s parodied. Anyone waiting for Coolio’s next album to drop? He’s outlived Michael Jackson. How can he get disrespected as a comedy act since they’re inducting the Beastie Boys? Hypocrites!

I caught Weird Al’s latest tour at the Durham Performing Arts Center. Here’s a guy who has been going for over 30 years and he’s not a nostalgia act. How can I tell? When he announced a new song, the audience wasn’t checking their iPhones, running to get another beer or take a bathroom break. The crowd was pumped to hear “Perform This Way” letting Lady Gaga join the Al treatment that solidified Madonna’s fame with “Like a Surgeon.”

While normally I’m not a big fan of videos run to cover up costume changes, this time it worked. The videos mixed outtakes from AL TV, Al’s cameos on various TV shows over the years and the time Johnny Carson used him as a punchline. Younger fans might not recognize some of the singers he mocked like Avril Lavigne and Jessica Simpson. Al’s costume selection paid off. He broke out the Segway Scooter for “White and Nerdy.” He was full Jedi for his Star Wars encore. If you ever want to piss off a bunch of nerds wearing Stormtrooper and Darth Vader costumes, point at them and shout, “Look honey! They’re old school Cylons.” I could see frowns through their plastic masks.

If you missed the tour, don’t fret. Turns out it’s already out on Blu-ray. You can use holiday store giftcards to pick up “Weird Al” Yankovic Live! – The Alpocalypse Tour.

After the show, I had a chance to talk with bassist Steve Jay next to the tour bus. It was a Byron Allen moment. Al’s band has been together since 1985 so Jay isn’t some LA hired gun. Our chat dealt with how amazing it is for the band to be able to adapt so many musical styles. They have to keep up with the latest songs and figure out how to transform them into a polka beat for the medley. The big takeaway from the talk was the fact that nobody has come close to doing what Al’s done for so long. Why? Jay said the secret is that Al cares about the music. This is more than you can say about your morning zoo radio team that just wants to fake lyrics for whatever hit they can spoof. Jay performs the Doors’ bass keyboard action on “Craigslist” instead of faking it on a string bass.

I might have had a chance to talk to Weird Al except my brother needed to get back home since he had to work early on Monday morning. Funny story about that. He showed up and was immediately called into his boss’s office. Because of the economic crisis in Europe screwing with the company’s credit lines, they had to do across the board slashes. He was the last hired in his department and thus he got an excuse to file for unemployment. If that idiot boss had slashed him at the end of Friday, meeting Weird Al would have been a great pick me up. But instead my brother gets to live with the stigma of depriving me of meeting Weird Al so he could show up and get pink slipped. There should be a Weird Al song for such a frustrating mess like “Skipper Dan.”

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn’t deserve Weird Al. He’s more of an institution than that building in Cleveland. You know you’ve made it as a performer when Weird Al calls you up to ask permission to parody your song. And you don’t have to kiss Jann Werner’s ass for that honor. Al pays you a royalty.

SHANNON CALLS ME OUT?

I’ll admit that I’ve yet to see my old NCSA classmate’s film. It was a bit of a hassle to free up three hours to rush down to the Rialto to see Jeff Nichol’s Taking Shelter. But that’s no excuse for star Michael Shannon to trash talk me and others since the award winning movie has yet to crack $2 million at the box office after three months.

“I mean, it takes a bit of guts to go see our film. It’s not an easy ride, y’know? I think there are other films that are also very good that are maybe a little easier to swallow, y’know?” Shannon declared.

I don’t have cinematic guts? I sat through The Notebook. You know what it really takes for many Americans like myself to see a movie? A babysitter. It’s just easier for me to put this on my Netflix queue and let it show up in my mailbox. The logistics of movie night is more complicated than the plot to The Sitter. So here’s the deal, if Michael Shannon comes over to my house and babysits the kid; the wife and I will scoot over to the Megaplex to watch Take Shelter.

Does Michael Shannon have the guts to see my toddler race around the house and scream for two hours? Will he kneel before the real Zod? The ball is in your court, Shannon.

There ought to be a TV series on E! – Stars Babysit While Parents Watch Their Movie. They can call it “Sitter For My Movie.”

MORE CATTY THAN BUNNY

Dennis Hof, the owner of the Bunny Ranch dropped me a note to remind every one to watch the latest installment of Cathouse on HBO. “Frisky Business” focuses on how the ladies working at the brothel figure out the prices for their services. The half hour special brings back an old favorite who gets full claws from one of the new gals. It’s drama-ful. During my stay at the Bunny Ranch, the main room was as peaceful as a Buddhist monastery except with a more enticing dress code. Dennis and I were the only bald guys. The “Frisky Business” special will be part of HBO OnDemand until after New Year’s Day. How about starting a Christmas tradition that you open the presents, down a massive cup of egg nog, and spend a little time with the bunnies?

CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE

Since it’s a little too late in the game to tell you great gifts to get others for Christmas, let’s just focus on cool things you should buy yourself with various gift cards.

Rolling Stones’ The Brussels Affair is the first legit release of the legendary concerts from ’73. A few of these tracks were released back in the mid-70s for airing on the King Biscuit Flower Hour. Bob Clearmountain sat down with the tapes of the two shows to tweak them with a better than if you were there mix. Now you can hear even more of the voodoo from Mick Taylor’s lead guitar solos. Billy Preston’s keyboards come alive. Billy does quite a bit of call and response with Mick Jagger on “Heartbreaker.” This was the reason the Stones could pull off the title of the Greatest Rock Band. It’s high octane from “Brown Sugar” to “Street Fighting Man.” This is the type of record you just want to put on the stereo before starting a bar fight with Phyllis Smith. You can get this as MP3s and FLAC files through the Rolling Stones online archive and Google Music. Why isn’t this being released on vinyl?

The Complete Peanuts Boxed Set 1979-1982 (Vol. 15-16) brings Charlie Brown and Snoopy into the age of disco. This was when America partied while Reagan took over the White House in a downpour of jellybeans. In one of the most disturbing images in comic strip history, Peppermint Patty struts around in cornrows like Bo Derek. Charlie Brown thinks he’s died. Snoopy gets to be more about Snoopy. This continues to be my favorite annual Christmas gift to find under the tree.

The Bionic Woman now has all three seasons out on DVD. The crossover episodes on The Six Million Dollar Man are included in the first two seasons. You’ll be able to see her and Steve Austin take on Bigfoot! She goes up against the Fembots. Lindsay Wagner brought a lot more depth to the role than Lee Marvin when he was given the cyborg treatment. She’s never comfortable being half woman and half machine. She’s so fragile even with all that super strength. If your poke around, you can get Season One and Two for less than $15 each. Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson) still rules.

Laurel & Hardy Essential Collection finally puts together the prime early films of the comic duo. Now you can see the proper transfers of Sons of the Desert and The Music Box along with dozens of others. They finally get their DVD respect like The Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers.

Dexter: The Complete Fifth Season is a deconstructed version of when Batman met Robin. Dexter helps Julie Stiles track down the men who raped her and nearly killed her. Turns out the leader of this group is Jonny Lee Miller, a demented Tony Robbins-like character. Dexter has to train her to take revenge on them. This is a gritty version of how Bruce Wayne turned Dick Grayson into his ward and partner in crime fighting. It might not have been as great as the Trinity Killer episodes, but it’s still compelling TV.

Californication: The Fourth Season proves David Duchovny doesn’t need red shoes to bring spice to Showtime. He’s working on adapting his box to a script and gets to bang the young starlet, Addison Timlin. When I devolve, I want to be Hank Moody.

The L Word Complete Series DVD Collection takes us back to a time when Mia Kirshner ruled my world. Why did they let her character become such a self-absorbed pain? The series also let us enjoy the wonders of Pam Grier.

The Magic Trip is perfect for those who want to get the real visuals of Tom Wolfe’s Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test. Finally get to see footage of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters hitting the road to see America with Neal Cassady (On the Road) at the wheel.

Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop gets inside the talkshow host’s inner-circle to see how he hit the road to perform after getting shanked by Jay Leno. The story has a happy ending when he lands at TBS and takes out George Lopez.

Blue Velvet Blu-ray is a must get for the citizens of Lumberton. They included nearly an hour of excised scenes. Now you get all the story about what happened when Jeffery quit school to help take care of his dad’s store. There’s a severe foreshadowing scene when he watches something similar in a frat house basement. This is the ultimate way to watch David Lynch’s masterpiece.

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics is the most addictive DVD series since MGM’s Midnite Movies. The folks at Shout! Factory can turn any home entertainment system into a magnificent grindhouse theater. They’ve put out over 25 titles so far ranging from Death Race 2000 to Traci Lords in Not of This Earth. What’s the best one to get? Rock ‘n’ Roll High School since you can watch the Ramones in 1080p. Fun fun! Shout! Factory also put out Barney Miller: The Complete Series and The Ernie Kovacs Collection. Both of those are worthy of boxset space on your DVD shelf.

DVD SHELF

Blackthorn mixes two American Icons when Sam Shepard plays Butch Cassidy. Turns out the outlaw survived the Bolivian military attack and has been low profiling it for decades in a small country village. He’s decided to head back to America since he’s too old to care about hiding out. But on the journey, he gets back in the game of nabbing the loot since he does need a little traveling money. Shepard is perfect in the role as the aged desperado. The great playwright and actor shines as much here as he did in The Right Stuff. Blackthorn is a Western worthy of giving dad this holiday season.

Point Blank is an extreme rarity: a French thriller not starring Liam Neeson or produced by Luc Besson. It’s a French movie in French and not French people speaking English with a French accent. Director Fred Cavaye kicks ass in an extreme rush of a movie. Gilles Lellouche is a nurse in a hospital that saves a patient. Turns out the killers aren’t giving up. They want Gilles to deliver the guy to them. They’re holding Gilles’ pregnant wife hostage. She’s supposed to be on bed rest so he must act fast. The cops are absolutely no help to this crisis. The movie doesn’t slow down as this guy is drawn into an impossible situation that physically and emotionally puts him on the edge. This is so much better than anything Michael Bay has over juiced.

A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventure is a great way to introduce small children to the joy of Tim Curry without scarring them for life. This is a cute CGI animated film about Sammy, a young sea turtle’s world wide adventure to seek out love and friendship. Minutes after he’s hatched, he fights to escape the beak of a seagull. He ends up escaping with Shelly, another baby turtle. But the two get lost. Sammy swims in the direction of a turtle paradise. But is it real? Or just a watery trap set by sharks? Will he ever see Shelly again? There’s a thrilling swim through the Panama Canal. There’s a fine cast of celebrity voices including Melanie Griffith, Anthony Anderson, Stacy Keach, Jenny McCarthy and the brilliant Tim Curry. This is Kathy Griffin’s greatest acting role since Pulp Fiction. The film was made in 3-D although the DVD is in 2-D so you’ll get a lot of stuff coming at you. This is fine for older kids that can handle close calls between turtles and sharks.

Switched At Birth: Volume One deals with every parent’s nightmare of the hospital screwing up. It’s also every teen’s dream that their parents aren’t really their parents. The ABC Family series explores what happens when Vanessa Marano discovers through a blood test experiment at school shows she’s not related to Lea Thompson (Howard the Duck) and D.W. Moffett. After more investigating, it’s discovered she was switched with another newborn. Her parents were supposed to get Katie Leclerc. She’s a deaf teen living with her mom and grandmother in a rough side of town. She lost her hearing from meningitis so it wasn’t heredity. The show is rather serious in dealing with the crisis between these two families. What do you do when you’ve been so used to calling one child your daughter after all these years? How does one feel knowing the other got major advantages by getting the hospital’s mistake work out in her favor? The boxset has the first 10 episodes. There’s also skins for your iPod.

TIME FLIES

Did you know there’s less than a year until Mayan Doomsday? The good news is this might save the world from seeing Smurfs 2. Stock up on your survival seeds.

If I can only have one wish for 2012, it’s that I can spend a weekend in Las Vegas doing ecstasy with Nina from Sprout’s Good Night Show. I’ll wear a fuzzy star outfit if it helps.

HOLLYWOOD – The Razzie is the only honest piece of hardware awarded out each year during Award Season.

Nobody starts a whispering buzz for a shot at Golden Raspberry Award greatness. You think Don Murphy forked up Harvey Weinstein money to get Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen to beat Land of the Lost? Of course not. Mike Myers didn’t fly the Razzie bigwigs to Toronto to make them lust after the Love Guru. Unlike to weasels at various critic groups, the Razzie members don’t vote because they want certain stars at their big award dinner. The Razzie doesn’t care if you show up since a majority of the winners barely showed up in their films.

The amazing thing about the Razzie is that unlike Best film of the year, rarely do you hear anyone declare a Razzie “winning” film wasn’t really that bad. Gigli, Catwoman, Freddy Got Fingered and The Postman still hurt my eyes after all these years. Nobody moans and groans that somehow Battlefield Earth didn’t deserve the prize over Little Nicky. There’s no Goodfellas versus Dances with Wolves we wuz robbed arguments.

There are hundreds of sites, blogs and podcasts that predict the Oscars. But what’s the point? They’re letting Russell Brand vote for the Oscars now. Does he really deserve to tell you what the greatest film of the year is? He’s a Razzie front runner for a lifetime achievement award just for Arthur. Why follow the alleged campaigns of winning and losing meaningless critic and industry awards as if it’s a college football season? Why aren’t these groups concerned about exposing the most painful performances they had to sit through to collect their reviewer paychecks? The New York Critics Circle spends 364 days trashing performances and one day sucking up to the stars. Blah. You can’t enjoy the worst without remembering the crap that sticks to the popcorn bucket.

So enough talk about those artsy fartsy films that will be making the award circuit. You’ll be suffering enough as they keep acting surprised at every televised ceremony from now until the Kodak Theater. Let’s focus on the movies that won’t worry their cast with the threat being woken up on Oscar nomination morning by Ryan Seacrest.

Original predictions had this year’s Razzies overwhelmed with comic book movies. There were so many directors who took two-dimensional superheroes and made them even more hollow and forgettable. So many great actors paychecking for the joy of maintaining their mansions that have been stuck on the real estate market for two or more years. How can anyone compete with the utter clunker of Thor? There’s Kenneth Branagh directed Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman, Colm Feore and Stellan Skarsgard in CGI mess. Branagh ought to get an award for forcing Idris Elba to wear a ’57 Chevy. Smurfs inspired a mother to drunk drive her daughter home. But the race for Razzie might not go to a comic book inspired flick. How could Thor, Smurfs, Transformers: Whatever They Called It or Green Lantern not be the peak of badness with their CGI soul sucking powers?

Your Highness smoked them all. My old classmates Danny McBride and David Gordon Green did me proud by proving that they can make a major budget dud. A box office implosion when you know your film school has made it. Anyone can make a low budget indie darling that barely makes a dent in receipts. Your Highness was the kinda film that made us back in NCSA ponder who the hell signs off on a $75 million steaming turd? They found the secret of Cut Throat Island and The Postman. The best part was how the trailer pushed Natalie Portman even though she didn’t show up until the last few reels. How could an Oscar winner be exploited any better than in a Xena knock-off project? Your Highness smelt like skank weed which is the odor of Razzie glory. What could derail it’s chance to sweep?

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star horrified the world with another cinematic abortion from Nick Swardson. Swardson keeps lowering the bar with his untalents. He wrote Benchwarmers and Grandma’s Boy so he knows how to turn used toilet paper into Happy Madison green lights. He has acting skills ought to be listed as self-inflicting deadly weapons. His emoting will scrape your corneas. Bucky Larson is about a dork who thinks he’s got the genes to be a porn star. But he’s a disaster. Luckily no full theaters experienced this dud on impact. Did I mention Adam Sandler took credit for co-writing the script? Even John Hughes kept his name off the poster of Drillbit Taylor. Why did Sandler need to put this on his resume? What drove him to admit he spent time in a room with Nick talking about “improving” the script? How can Adam Sandler not be gay since it’s hard to fathom why he keeps supporting Nick. He makes Roseanne look like a genius for forcing Tom Arnold into America’s living rooms. Nick Swardson stole Danny McBride’s glorious night of raspberry bliss. Although rumor had it that as a compromise, Danny and Nick would win “Worst Screen Couple” as the terrorists in the heart warming comedy 30 Minutes Or Less. Little did they suspect that a familiar name would destroy all their plans including “Worst Screen Couple” glory.

Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill is not merely the front runner, but the dominator. They might have to take back awards from last year to truly represent the badness of Sandler playing a brother and sister. Once again Nick Swardson plays his screen pal. Does Rob Schneider cry when he notices Nick has more lines in Adam’s new film? Nick should have been a lock for worst supporting actor until Al Pacino slummed it up for Sandler. Tony Montana weeps for what’s become of Al Pacino. Swardson can’t even claim Worst Couple since there’s no way Sandler doesn’t win for his dual role. There’s no denying Jack and Jill the everlasting honors that haunt Bruce Jenner and the Village People in Can’t Stop The Music.

The Razzies might surprise us with a indie vote towards Tree of Life. But it’s hard not to see Jack and Jill pull a sweep since the Blu-ray ought to be released in time for the final vote. The resolution will magnify the badness.
?It would be great if there was award shows leading up to the Razzie. A non-stop shaming of a slumming and untalented filmmakers. They’d keep showing up at glamourous venues hoping that the critics and their peers didn’t think they sucked the worst. The “winner” would get pulled from the envelope and four other people would rejoice. Ice Cube might quit accepting the scripts rejected by Cuba Gooding Jr.

HOLLYWOOD FEUDS

Seems the blood feud between Patton Oswald and Zach Galifianakis is splitting Hollywood Hard. Rat Vs. Wolf is getting more bitter every day as these two send shots over the intertubes at each other’s domes. Patton recently asked Zach if he smelt Patton’s ass on the last script he accepted. Zach is suing for sole custody of Brian Posehn.

The anger has gone into overdrive with The Office‘s Phyllis Smith reportedly whipping out the claws on Mike & Molly‘s Melissa McCarthy. People are crying as they have to take sides. Who really topped the box office? Did Phyllis in Bad Teacher blaze the trail for Melissa in Bridesmaids as some suggest? Or has Phyllis had her turn at the top? Will this turn into another Tupac-Biggie?

STAMP HIM

If you want to see Ernie Kovacs on a stamp, send a postcard to:

Dana Gioia
Citizens’ Stamp Advisory Committee
c/o Stamp Development
U.S. Postal Service
475 L’Enfant Plaza SW
Room 3300
Washington, DC 20260-3501

WHITE CHRISTMAS

Now a little holiday treat from Prep and Landing‘s new DVD featuring Betty White. We can’t have enough Betty.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil is a deep fried ball of Deliverance andEvil Dead covered in Three’s Company. This should be your Christmas Day movie instead of War Horse.. The movie starts out like the normal college kids go on a vacation in the murky South and find themselves murdered one by one. But it isn’t the usual slaughter cinema. Tucker (Firefly‘s Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Reaper‘s Tyler Labine) are two redneck guys eager to fix up their new vacation cabin. They are a blissfully oblivious to the nature of the cabin’s former owner. During a midnight fishing trip, they paddle near the skinny dipping college kids. Allison (30 Rock‘s Katrina Bowden) falls into the water and knocks herself out. When Dale rescues her, the other college kids think the two rednecks have taken her hostage. Thus commences a great comic misunderstanding film with a severe body count. Tyler Labine is at the top of his game as he brings so much heart to his shy country guy. He’s a tender fuzzy teddy bear in a trucker cap. The pancake scene made me want to cry syrup. This is the best romantic comedy that involves someone going through a wood chipper since Fargo. The Blu-ray picture look fantastic. The best of the bonus features is “Tucker and Dale Are Evil: The College Kids’ Point of View.” They cut the film so that the duo truly are terrorizing the kids. Tyler and Alan crack each other up in the bloopers. This is a special cult film that deserves to be a stocking stuffer.

DVD SHELF

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume XXII is more Sandy Frank love from the Satellite of Love. Sandy Frank was a TV producer who distributed various Japanese movies and TV shows in America. He’s responsible for Battle of the Planets and Gamera flicks. He became a superstar when nine of his movies (including 5 Gamera installments) ended up on the third season of MST3K. Joel and the Bots came to fear his name during the opening credits. Mighty Jack is a confusing mess. This super spy movie was snipped from a Japanese TV series. Sandy just put the first and sixth episode together. This cheap way to make a movie gets loads of cracks from everyone. The invention exchange explores the strange relationship of Dr. Forrester and Frank. What’s up with the doc’s legs and Frank’s desires? The big musical number is “Slow the Plot Down.” You’ll be humming this in theaters forever. “Time of the Apes” is another case of Sandy turning a Japanese series into a single film. This is a Planet of the Apes rip off except with even cheesier monkey masks. A scientist and two kids get frozen. When they wake up, it’s in a world ruled by apes. This episode features the brilliant “Sandy Frank Song.” Sandy supposedly didn’t like being roasted by Joel and the Bots. Nobody expected these episodes to get on DVD, but they’re here. “The Brute Man” stars the unforgettable Rondo Hatten. He had a huge face due to his being exposed to mustard gas during World War I. In the movie, he plays a man furious at his disfigurement. He seeks revenge on those that caused it. He also falls in love with a blind woman. He goes on a crime spree to pay for her operation. Does he really want her to see him? What helps this episode is “Trail of the Creeper” which is a biography of Hatten. Turns out he died shortly after making The Brute Man. Sandy Frank kinda makes a cameo as a slick character that arrives to take Pearl out on a date. Dr. Forrester doesn’t want him as his new daddy. “The Violent Years” had my attention with teen debs terrorizing the neighborhood. This was written by Ed Wood, but somehow not directed by him. It must have been shot while Ed attended the Angora festival in Sante Fe. The Mad Scientists come up with their own musical theme song to help widen the audience. Can Mike and the Bots match them? Volume XXII is a pure delight with the mixture of Sandy Frank, Rondo Hatten and Ed Wood.

Action Double Feature: The Nickel Ride and 99 and 44% Dead gives us two Fox releases from the mid-70s that deserve a larger cult following. Nickel Ride is Jason Miller’s follow up to his priest role in The Exorcist. He’s an underworld hustler whose big job is to take care of the storage warehouses used by the mob for all the merchandise they collect from hijacked trucks. Business has been so good that Miller needs to line up a new warehouse. Mobster John Hillerman has a trust issue and assigns cowboy Bo Hopkins (the man who wasn’t Jerry Reed, but appeared in Burt Reynolds’ movies) to watch Miller. Or is he supposed to take care of Miller? It’s a nice piece of gritty crime drama. 99 and 44% Dead is a Pop Mobster epic from John Frankenheimer. The opening credits set up a comic book attitude. There’s a mob war breaking out in the big town. Richard Harris (Orca) gets the call during a card game that he’s needed to fight for Edmond O’Brien. His mission seems simple until he discovers Chuck Connors has been hired by the rival Godfather. Connors has a giant claw hand that looks borrowed from Live and Let Die. There’s major chase scenes to keep the action flowing when the plot gets too loopy. Harris appear to being channeling Michael Caine in his attitude and haircut. This is an interesting double feature of criminal attitudes going from the intense to the flighty.

Conan The Adventurer Season Two: Part 1 gives another 13 episodes of heroic action. After a successful first season as a Saturday morning production, the producers went for a weekday strip release. They stuck with the same major goal that Conan, the not-quite Barbarian, is seeking to bring his family back to life after the evil Wrath-Amon turned them to stone. He’s part of the serpent men that are up to no good. Conan’s only real protection is a sword made of Star Metal. This collection has the first 13 episodes of the 52 episode season. Conan keeps getting tested and attacked as he puts together a confederation to battle the snake men. “Tribal Warfare” has Snag and Conan going at it after the Snakemen make it look like their tribes are feuding. “The Vengeance of Jhebbal Sag” turns a good spirit evil when Wrath-Amon gets his split tongue going. “The Red Brotherhood” swaggers with a female pirate on the scene. “The Crevasse of Winds” gives a clue how Conan can save his family from the evil spell. But can he get the book? “Earthbound” has a breaking of the rank in Wrath-Amon’s army. While they calm down the sex and violence associated with Conan, the animated series keeps up with the action found in He-Man.

The Adventures of Tintin Season One is a faithful adaptation of the Belgian comic strip drawn by Herge. Tintin is a plucky boy reporter who goes around the globe solving mysteries with his fox terrier, a formerly drunk Captain Haddock and the Thompson Twins detectives. For those of you eagerly awaiting Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Tintin, there should be a Spoiler alert. This collection has the three comic books that were combined for the motion capture CGI Christmas blockbuster. “The Crab with the Golden Claws,” “The Secret of the Unicorn” and “Red Rackham’s Treasure” appear in the animated series as if the pages of the comic book have come alive. The animators went the extra step to make sure the series doesn’t look like a cut rate visual bootleg. Their approach is much better looking that Spielberg’s creepy CGI characters that look like Body Snatchers that have been hatched before they’ve full formed as humanoids. Also included in The Adventures of Tintin Season One is “Cigars of the Pharaoh,” “The Blue Lotus,” “The Black Island” and the “Calculus Affair.” The final installment is considered the best of the series. Between the price of your movie ticket and the higher cost of 3-D glasses, you can buy this DVD boxset. You’ll feel less creeped out by the properly animated TV series versus Spielberg & Jackson’s synthetic concoction that’s overblown with John Williams’ score. And you won’t feel left out when the overgrown kids at the water cooler babble on about the movie. You’re vision of Tintin will remain pure and untainted by Andy Serkis covered in pingpong balls.

Mission Impossible: Season One ’88 revived the classic spy show from the ’60s. The series was brought back during a writer’s strike when a network executive decided they could use the classic scripts to avoid dealing with writers. Peter Graves returned as Jim Phelps, the leader of the Impossible Missions Force. His older appearance wasn’t a shock since he’d been doing ads for a phone company announcing, “It’s for you!” The old Mission Impossible took place all around the world which resembled the Desilu backlot in Hollywood. The new show was made in Australia so now they had to fake being in SoCal. Phelps new crew includes Grant Collier, Barney’s son. Phil Morris really was Greg Morris’ son. Phil went on to be the legendary lawyer Jackie Chiles on Seinfeld. The season starts with “The Killer” revamp. John de Lancie (Q on Star Trek: The Next Generation) is the top hitman that takes out Phelps’ replacement. The retired IMF agent gets back in the game to avenge his protege. “The Condemned” reunites Phelps and Barney Collier under bad circumstances. Barney’s been framed by a crooked Turkish cop for murder. Jim and his son have to spring him without causing an international incident. “The Legacy” brings back the lost Nazi gold. “The Devils” brings a taste of human sacrifice. A British royal is taping into Satanic ceremonies to get control over government officials that need the dark arts to maintain their power. Phelps arrives as the ultimate of evil. The 19 episodes of the first season aren’t bad. The show doesn’t quite have the same atmosphere of the original since it was shot on film and edited on videotape. It’s got that ’80s Matlock texture. There’s only one more season to go.

The Lucy Show: The Official Fifth Season brings even more major stars to visit the insane world of Lucille Carmichael (Lucille Ball) and Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon). “Lucy with George Burns” breaks her as Burns’ new comedy partner. Can she really handle big time show biz? Strange to see Burns not playing up his 100th birthday. “Lucy meets the Law” brings her face to face with Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo). That’s stardom. “Lucy and Paul Winchell” reminds us that there was another famous ventriloquist before Jeff Dunham. Paul’s big star was Jerry Mahoney. Carol Burnett answers the ad in “Lucy Gets a Roommate.” Look carefully since Joe Pesci is part of the band that shows up. Carol sticks around long enough to tempt Lucy to ditch work in “Lucy and Carol in Palm Springs.” What can go wrong? How about Mr. Mooney staying at their hotel. “Lucy Gets Caught Up in the Draft” has the elderly redhead reporting for duty. There’s a cameo from America’s greatest marine. “Lucy and John Wayne” really does feature the Duke. She pesters the guy until she destroys Wayne’s latest movie set. The legendary Joseph Ruskin is the frustrated director. Phil Silvers straightens out the bank in “Lucy and the Efficiency Expert. “Viv Visits Lucy” brings back Vivian Vance for fun with hippies. Viv’s hunting for a kid that’s gone underground and groovy. Mr. Warmth warms up the TV with “Lucy and the Fight Manager.” Don Rickles gives hers her a puncher’s chance. The big bonus feature is “Lucy in London” featuring The Dave Clark Five. I’m in pins and needles over this one.

Transformers Prime: Darkness Rising brings back the Autobots and Decepticons for another series. The show is done in CGI. Darkness Rising covers the five episode mini-series that ran on the Hub last year. Thankfully they cut off the opening and closing credits and edited it together as a single 106 minute long movie. The show gets a major starpower boost with The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) voicing Cliff Jumper. Although he doesn’t quite lay down the smackdown when he’s captured by Starscream and tortured. This could be considered violent for small kids if I haven’t seen the evil a toddler will do to a Transformer action figure. Things get scary when undead Cybertronians attack Optimus Prime and pals. It’s more entertaining than Transformers Dark Slab of Confusion and is free of Shia LaBeouf. They still have the little kids that help the Transformers, but they’re CGI. This makes them more well rounded than Michael Bay’s characters. Contrary to the rumor spread on Amazon, this DVD is presented in widescreen anamorphic.

Gunsmoke Fifth Season, Volume 2 wraps up the penultimate half hour batch of episodes. The show at this level remains extra tight in its storytelling about the action around Dodge City. This is still the time of Chester (McCloud‘s Dennis Weaver) as Marshall Dillon’s right hand man. “Hinka Do” puts a woman in charge of the Lady Gay Saloon. Matt thinks the woman might have bought out the previous owner with a little force. “Moo Moo Raid” has a cow being shot to death. Do not watch this with any of the Borden products. “Jailbait Janet” is an excellent title. But this time the daughter isn’t into seducing old men. She’s robbing the train station with her family. They view it as payback since the railroad burned their crops. “The Bobsy Twins” has nothing to do with the kiddie books. In this case it’s two brothers eager to kill indians. Richard Chamberlin (Shogun) is part of the wannabe mayhem. “Old Flame” wins big bonus points for having Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. He’s supposedly beaten up Matt’s old “friend.” But Kitty thinks the woman is lying. Another great collection proving less was more when it came to Gunsmoke episodes.

ASTORIA, NEW YORK – Dreams can come true in the most indirect yet direct way. When Kevin Clash was a boy, he wanted to work with the Muppets and visit Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Little did he know that Jim Henson would fulfill both his wishes with the help of a little red fella. Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey gets inside the man inside Elmo.

The film has finally been released in theaters across America. The Party Favors ran a semi-preview when it played at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham. But now we can officially review the film and declare it a splendid biography. Being Elmo resembles Charlie and the Chocolate Factory except Clash didn’t merely find a golden ticket to meet Willy Wonka. He stitched his ticket. He’s working class kid in Baltimore who became fascinated with the Muppets. He made his own puppets and put on his own shows. He wanted to know how Jim Henson stitched the Muppets. Kevin’s mom contacted Kermit Love, the man who made Muppets for Jim Henson. Nowadays this is an easy thing to do using thanks to the internet. But back in 1978, she had to do a little extra work. He visited Kermit as part of an episode of Big Blue Marble. Do you understand how many kids appeared on that show with big dreams that peaked with that show? His Baltimore TV connection led to him being cast on the final seasons of Captain Kangaroo. He also became part of The Great Space Coaster. When those shows ended, Henson gave him the call to work on The Dark Crystal. When the feature film wrapped, Clash became part of the team on Sesame Street. This alone should be inspirational to anyone with showbiz dreams not named Tori Spelling.

For a guy who worked hard, his biggest break was thrown into his lap. Clash didn’t create Elmo. The cute red fuzzy monster had gone through two other performers. Clash looked into the eyes of the Muppet and realize the true nature of the character: Elmo loves you. The little fella became a major superstar thanks to Clash’s insight.

Being Elmo is perfect for any kid who has just outgrown Sesame Street since they won’t be shocked at seeing a 50 year old guy making Elmo come alive. This is a film that confirms that if you’re passionate about something, good things can happen. That not every showbiz story has to turn into a VH1 Behind the Music episode. This is about a man who learns that he must share and be compassionate as a Muppeteer. Elmo spends time with dying kids to make them feel a bit better inside. Kevin mentors a young kid that also dreams of being a Muppeteer. The kid was in the audience at the screening so it wasn’t merely a made for TV relationship like Kim Kardashian and her ex-husband. Director Constance Marks and her small crew have created an intimate portrait of how Clash carries on the fine work of Jim Henson. It can get to be an emotional film as some folks in the audience teared up during Henson’s memorial service footage.

After the screening, Clash arrived with Elmo. They took questions from adults and kids. The controversy of Elmo’s video with Katy Perry was in the news back in April. He had a reunion announcement.

Clash and Elmo went outside to pose with hundreds of folks with iPhones. What was amazing was how much fun Clash had with people. He and Elmo were playful with everyone. Perhaps part of this joy is the knowledge that Clash isn’t stuck signing autographs until his wrist snaps. The line contained toddlers to grandmothers. All were happy to get to touch Elmo’s hand. During this busy time, I wandered over to chat with editors and writers Phillip Shane and Justine Weinstein about their work on Being Elmo.

After the line had died down, I snuck over for a quick chat with Elmo and Kevin Clash. I’m a first generation Sesame Street kid that goes back to the days of Buddy and Jim. Over the last two years, I’ve found myself watching the show with my daughter. It’s strange being back in the neighborhood after all these years with a lot of familiar characters and new ones such as Elmo. What’s amazing about Sesame Street is odd jokes geared right at adults even on the “Elmo’s World” segment. My daughter doesn’t get a Christopher Walken joke or a Taxi Driver reference. I had to thank Elmo for not making my brain turn to mush. I also had to know the burning question: How much does Ernie and Bert’s rent on their basement apartment? Elmo answered it all. Being Elmo‘s cinematographer James Miller graciously shot the interview for me.

For those wondering; Josie is getting close to hating my guts for not taking her to hang out with Elmo. Rumor is that next year Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird might attend Full Frame to promote a documentary on the legendary Caroll Spinney.

Visit Beingelmo.com to find out when the movie is playing in your neighborhood.

NATIONAL DISGRACE CHANNEL

Thanks to the fine folks at Fox, the National Geographic Channel has nothing to do with the magazine my grandmother once let me read. Murdoch’s minions has turned it into the worst exploitation trash. I click over and there’s a guy talking about how on Second Life, he enjoys having cyber sex with his cyber daughters. His real wife doesn’t seem to care. Or about grandmas having sex with 20 year old guys. When it’s not about kinky sex, the channel loves drug themed shows. They’re doing all the drugs found in Charlie Sheen’s urine. Finally there’s The Rocket City Rednecks. The show is about guys that work in Alabama’s aerospace industry making strange rockets. But did they have to give it a name that sounds like a “Jeff Foxworthy Science Fair” exhibit? This is channel supposedly approved by the National Geographic Society? This is more like a promotion of the National Jerry Springer Society with its focus on sex, drugs and good ol’ boys. They ought to just rebrand it The Weekly World News Channel. The only thing framed in yellow is the sniveling accountant on Taboo that enjoys being a human urinal.

McMEH

This season’s McRib was a letdown. I was eager to order and relish the badness, but it was mediocre. It just tasted like pressed pork smeared with sauce and a few onions dumped on top. Where was the love? Why did my favorite guilty pleasure food make me feel so pathetic? What went wrong with the McRib harvest? Mayor McCheese must call a blue ribbon panel to investigate.

JACK AND JILL

Can Adam Sandler sink any lower with Jack and Jill? The only good thing about him playing brother and sister is no fear of a self-sex scene. Nice to see Shaq should up for this epic while he no-showed on the Celtics. Why Al Pacino? Why must Al Pacino appear in this film as himself? Can’t he just wander onto the set of Yo Gabba Gabba if he wants to stay hip with the kids? Every time the trailer for Jack and Jill runs, Tony Montana gets his balls broken.

MST3K SOLO SHOTS

Another two episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have escaped their boxsets. The Touch of Satan and The Atomic Brain are now out. I’m excited for The Touch of Satan is now out as a solo Shout! Select release instead of the out of print Rhino boxset. Why? Cause it has Steffi the babysitter taking over for Pearl. Played by the endearing Beth “Beez” McKeever, Steffi takes control of Bobo and Brain. She also has to dish up a bad movie to Mike, Crow and Tom Servo. Touch of Evil is about an evil old lady running around a farm and stabbing people with pitchforks. A hot young guy arrives and falls for the farmer’s daughter. She’s cute, but has a deadly secret. The Atomic Brain tells the story of a rich old lady who wants to put her brain in a young girl’s body. This is exactly what Betty White is trying to do a certain star of Modern Family. The mad scientists and the Bots dress as each other and mock away in the opening. Both films would be unbearable without the snappy wisecracks. Beez getting to do more than be prop diva and sometime Magic Voice makes The Touch of Satan indispensable. When will Ken host a DragonCon panel dedicated to the Beez Effect? That would be bigger than last year’s “Things My Mom Threw Away That Actually Were Junk” panel.

Here’s Beth McKeever’s video about her devotion to James McAvoy.

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Double Feature: Streets & Angel In Red is two tales of young girls turning to hooking for a living. Streets gets a major buzz because it’s Christina Applegate at the height of her Married…with Children era in 1990. She’s troubled teen working the street to support her drug habit. But her charming career choice gets ruined by a nutjob cop who stalkers her with the blue lights flashing. He doesn’t want to bust her. He’s got more gruesome plans. In a sense, Streets shows what would have happened to Kelly Bundy if she didn’t have such loving parents. The film was directed by Kat Shea (Poison Ivy). The theme is sung by Elizabeth Daily (Rugrats). Angel in Red puts a hooker in the middle of a pimp war. This also has a child star take to the streets since Leslie Bega took the role after she finished with Head of the Class. She’d later become Tony’s mistress on The Sopranos. This is the classic teen hooker tale of a girl running away from her violent homelife and taking her younger brother. Turns out she doesn’t have too many job skills. But luckily she makes friends with a guy who likes her and works as a facilitator of recreational activities. This guy is also known as a pimp. She gets a juicy pimp in Jeffery Dean Morgan (Watchmen). Even though he seems like a cool guy, she can’t handle the job. Can Leslie get out of the game before it claims her? They just don’t make teen hooker films like Roger Corman once did.

The next entry in the collection is Lethal Ladies Collection, Vol. 2. This triple feature includes the kung fu fighting stewardess of Fly Me, the hotness of The Cover Girl Models and Pam Grier fighting gladiator style in The Arena. Release is set for Jan. 24 so save your Christmas giftcards.

DVD SHELF

Perry Mason: Season 6, Volume 2 brings more legal thrillers from the still popular series. Me-TV now runs it twice a day, but why wait when you can get the DVDs to watch cases whenever you’re eager to see Perry (Godzilla‘s Raymond Burr) makes D.A. Hamilton Burger cry. “The Case of the Prankish Professor” does one of those goofy unexpected lessons. In the middle of a creative writing class, a guy busts in the room and shots the teacher. It’s not real except someone put real bullets in the actor’s gun. Why would anyone want to kill the instructor? Turns out during this season that Raymond Burr had surgery at this time so there’s a lot of guest attorney action. “The Case of Constant Doyle” is double star stuffed with Bette Davis and Michael Parks (Kill Bill & Red State). This was a secret pilot for Bette to be a crime solver. “The Case of the Libelous Locket” gets Michael Rennie (Day the Earth Stood Still) in trouble. He’s a law professor who must handle a student’s homicide charges when Perry ends up in the hospital. Did Werner Kleperer (Hogan’s Heroes) kill a dictator in “The Case of the Two-Faced Turn-a-bout?” Walter Pidgeon (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) is the guest lawyer for “The Case of the Surplus Suitor.” He’s got to figure out if James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) killed Joyce Bulifant’s uncle so she can be rich. Perry gets better just in time to meet Lee Van Cleef (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) in “The Case of the Golden Oranges.” “The Case of the Greek Goddess” is not starring George Kennedy. “The Case of the Witless Witness” opens with a stunner. I’m not spoiling it, but there might be tears. There are 14 episodes spread over 4 DVDs. Only three more seasons until Perry’s first TV retirement.

Rawhide: Fourth Season, Volume 2 takes us back to the time when Clint Eastwood preferred sitting in a saddle instead of a director’s chair. He’s Rowdy Yates, a ramrod pushing cattle across Sedalia Trail. Eric Fleming is in charge of the drovers. They are men whose tales are told in the frontier. They are in constant motion cause money doesn’t come if they stick around the same plot of land. “The Women Trap” lets the lonely cowboys cross paths with a wagon full of mail-order brides. They think they’re heading to rich ranchers, but Alan Hale (Skipper on Gilligan’s Island) has other plans. “The Greedy Town” allows Mercedes McCambridge to bribe the citizens to frame the sheriff for her son’s death. “The Pitchwagon” makes Buddy Ebsen (The Beverly Hillbillies) payback a fatal favor. James Coburn machos up the screen with Clint during “Hostage Child.” Cesar Romero (Batman‘s The Joker) won’t let a girl quit her entertainer position at his club in “The Child-Woman.” Walter Pidgeon returns from his Perry Mason guest gig to take part in “Reunion.” Marion Ross (Happy Days) catches “Gold Fever.” The big bonus feature is the episode “Albiene.” They include promos and sponsor commercials.

Mr. Magoo: The Television Collection 1960 – 1977 contains the three TV series of TV’s most controversial cartoon icon. Why the hate for Mr. Magoo? People think he mocks the blind. His houseboy Charlie is an extreme Chinese stereotype. But Mr. Magoo isn’t blind. He’s just nearsighted and doesn’t care about reality. Charlie on the other hand with his buck teeth and harsh accent isn’t for people who get upset. I adore Magoo. The fact that Jim Backus (Gilligan’s Island) nails the voice helps. The Mr. Magoo Show was his first TV series after UPA quit making theatrical cartoons. This has a whole bunch of characters surrounding Magoo including the notorious Charlie. It’s good dumb fun. The Famous Adventures of Mr. Magoo brought him into classic books and events as a semi-serious character. It’s educational without making your brain hurt. Uncle Sam Magoo was a patriotic special during the height of the Vietnam War. This makes you proud to be a nearsighted American. What’s New Mr. Magoo? is revived show using DFE to create the animation. They’re the ones behind The Pink Panther. The big new character is McBarker, Magoo’s dog. Casey Kasem takes over the microphone to voice Waldo, Magoo’s cousin. It’s 11 DVDs of nearsighted destruction since Magoo refuses to see reality nor admit when he’s in jeopardy. The sad thought it that nowadays a rich guy like Magoo would get lasik surgery to correct his vision. Then where would we find the funny?

Captain America (Captain America / Captain America II: Death Too Soon) really brings me back to my childhood. The two specials aired back in 1979. This was back when even with the success of the live action Superman movie, studios weren’t up for spending $200 million on a comic book. Reb Brown (Yor, the Hunter from the Future) dons the stars and stripes as Captain America. There’s no real World War II action. This version of Steve Rogers is a contemporary guy who loves his van and motorcycle. After a nasty accident, Steve’s only hope is being shot with FLAG (Full Latent Ability Gain). The mega-steroid makes him superhero strong. Thus he takes up his dad’s old nickname of Captain America as he fights crime for a government agency. Captain America II: Death Too Soon is the more exciting of the TV specials since it features Christopher Lee (do you really need a movie title) as a general wanting a chemical that will age people. There’s a lot of motorcycle stunts in this one. Since this was the late ’70s, there’s an obligatory hang glider for Captain America. As a kid back in ’79, I felt cheated that they’d messed with the Captain America mythology. As an adult, I find myself rooting for Christopher Lee to destroy Captain America since Reb Brown wasn’t going to play him again anyway. Does this mean we’ll soon see the ’70s live action Spider-Man?

Rejoice and Shout (The Story of Gospel Music) is the perfect introduction to the spiritual songs of America. Director Don McGlynn and his crew trace the origins in the South to the sounds of today. There’s plenty of folks giving background along with songs from The Five Blind Boys of Mississippi, The Staple Singers, The Ward Family and Marie Knight. The major highlight is Mahalia Jackson giving a soul stirring performance. She changed the game when she appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show. This is the kind of film you need to watch with a computer nearby since you’ll want to order up a few of these titles to accompany your Sunday morning waffles.

Main Street is a star studded visit to Durham, North Carolina. A couple locations in the trailer are right across the street from where I spoke with Elmo. The film is covered in major stars including Pirate cutie Orlando Bloom (who visited Full Frame that year), Oscar winner Colin Firth, Amber Tamblyn, Patricia Clarkson, Ellen Burstyn, Brat Packer Andrew McCarthy and Duke Boy Tom Wopat. The script was written by beloved Horton Foote. Producer Thom Mount had struck gold with Bull Durham in the Bull City. Yet the film didn’t quite click that well. The big issue is that Limeys need to stop playing Southerners. I don’t who Colin Firth picked as his accent role model, but I’m going to guess it was Jerry Clower. They really need to take his King’s Speech Oscar away for giving us the Redneck Rave in Main Street. Orlando also sounds like a Hee Haw castaway. Why couldn’t they have cast real Southern actors like Billy Crudup or Danny McBride? The story is good. What sort of business does this rainmaker want to bring to a depressed Southern town. Can the community just enjoy the tax revenue or are they too curious for their own good? How does so much talent not recognize that they shouldn’t be mimicking Larry the Cable Guy in front of the camera? This DVD should be shown at all high school drama classes to remind kids that even Oscar winners can screw up an accent. Maybe they should have hired Meryle Streep to play Firth’s role? If you look carefully, you’ll see a few landmarks that I’d puked on during my drinking days.

Magic Trip unites the original footage of America’s first freaky bus journey. Ken Kesey had become the hot author of the mid-60s with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Instead of just locking himself away to type more pages, he brought together a batch of friends, a psychedelic painted bus, a pile of LSD and let Neal Cassidy of On the Road fame at the wheel. They brought film cameras to create the great American road movie. It was a West coast version of Andy Warhol’s cinema experience. It didn’t quite create cinema of its time. It’s funny that the guys on Magic Trip have conservative haircuts and wear American flag inspired shirts. They look like loyal Fox News viewers. Yet Americans still thought they were dangerous freaks. What’s strange is to think that a few years afterward, America would embrace a bunch of long haired people cruising around on a multi-color school bus. But The Partridge Family never spoke of doing LSD and free love. Kesey and his Merry Pranksters journey is a blissful series of screw ups. Alex Gibney and Alison Ellwood do a fine job of bringing a narrative to a bunch of film shot by really messed up people. This film brings an extra dimension to Tom Wolfe’s Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test coverage of this time.

CRYSTAL COVE – What is the greatest showbiz honor? Oscar? Emmy? Nobel Prize? Peabody? None of them compare to the eternal glory of being the celebrity guest star on a Scooby-Doo series.

This honor was recently bestowed upon Cinema Insomnia‘s host Mr. Lobo in the excellent Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated series. “Beware The Beast From Below” featured the iconic image of Mr. Lobo in the role of Professor Emmanuel Raffalo. Back in the ’70s, all the great stars made guest shots with the meddling kids and their dog including Jerry Reed, Don Adams, Batman and the Harlem Globetrotters.

Mr. Lobo over the last few years has elevated him to the top of the movie host game. He made headlines for his unexpected feud with pro wrestler Chris Jericho. Y2J had a slur-rific meltdown at the host during a Q&A session at Sacramento Horror Film Festival. But mostly it’s Cinema Insomnia that has helped Mr. Lobo stick out. He had the honor to have Bob Wilkins guest star on his show. Wilkins’ Creature Features was legendary in the San Francisco Bay area. The episode had Bob and Mr. Lobo sitting in rocking chairs at a graveyard. A fitting place for the duo to chat.

While some show talk about fan support, Cinema Insomnia upcoming 10th season is the result of fans contributing to the production budget through Kickstarter. Overdrive airs on 30 stations around the country. For those people outside those areas or unable to stay up past 9 p.m., Mr. Lobo’s created the Cinema Insomnia channel on Youtube. Unlike the old Youtube that forced you to break things up into 10 minute segments, a complete two hour episode requires only a single click of the play button. Now you can enjoy all the misunderstood movies with the help of Mr. Lobo and the potted Miss Mittens.

With the Halloween season around the corner, the Party Favors dropped an email to Mr. Lobo to find out about the holiday season, the new Cinema Insomnia and Scooby-Doo stardom.

Party Favors: What does Mr. Lobo do for Halloween? Is it a working holiday for you?

Mr. Lobo: Every Halloween I wear the same costume I wear everyday–MR. LOBO. We host film shows-This year SACRAMENTO HORROR FILM FESTIVAL at the COLONIAL and AN EVENING WITH THE MUNSTERS at the BAL THEATER in SAN LEANDRO are two big ones. I’ve been taping new episodes of CIENMA INSOMNIA so I have less time for live events this year. I have roles in some very misunderstood movies-This year I am playing myself in a film called A HARD DAYS NIGHTMARE and do voice-overs for low budget Indie films, one called THE BOYS and another is called FANG BANG. As a legal reverend and Saint in the Church Of Ed Wood I’ll probably solemnize a wedding for a spooky hipster couple or two.

Yes, It’s is a working Holiday and since I eat better around Halloween, we like to play with and waste food for fun. We like to mutilate gourd-like squash of the genus Cucurbita and let them rot on our front stoop. Not having dental insurance, this is the time of year Mr. Lobo likes to prepare and eat Carmel Apples–to remove any loose are damaged teeth or inferior dental work. It’s always a hoot to make embarrassing or cumbersome costumes for my children out of recyclables.

And Finally, as Mr. Lobo does every “Devil’s Night”, we soap windows, TP the CVS, smash and destroy early Christmas decorations at major department stores, crank call my mother, and set fire to television stations and sponsors that have wronged Mr. Lobo or CINEMA INSOMNIA in the past 10 years.
Since it’s my most prosperous season, we also like to hit the sales the Day After Halloween to do my yearly shopping for -Well-Everything…clothes, kitchen wares, pantry items, birthday-X-mas-Valentines-Mothers Day-bereavement gifts! It’s the only time I can buy amenities and necessities that suit Mr. Lobo’s demanding tastes and at deep discounts.

Party Favors: What’s the most frightening non-horror film ever made?

Mr. Lobo: Pretty Woman. A movie starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts about whores made by Disney. Fortunately they cut the animated gerbil sequence.

Party Favors: Do you think there’s anything misunderstood about “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star?” Could Cinema Insomnia handle that film or is it truly bad.

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo has not seen this film nor has any plans to. Mr. Lobo is sure they had good intentions. The producers of that film probably wanted to make something appropriate for the times and their best behavioral scientists and accountants told them that this is what audiences want. Hypothetically, if the rest of the film has as few laughs as the trailer…then maybe Mr. Lobo could provide some comic relief.

Party Favors: Has the addition of digital sub-stations like RTN and Antenna made more opportunities for movie hosts or is it about the same?

Mr. Lobo: More hosts are being seen that is for sure…so I suppose it is an opportunity–But a different model than in the past. Many hosts on substations are “pay to play”. Several RTV hosts have purchased time locally on their affiliates and got the bonus of national exposure. Elvira is on two and sometimes three channels in the same market which makes me think she’s also “pay to play”-but she can afford it! This can work if you can sell ads or have a good sponsor or aggressive Syndicator. Syndicators can sometime “buy you on” in a particular market if they think it will bring bigger ad opportunities. My main network AMGTV lets me keep some of the time to sell ads-but I don’t have a sales team…I couldn’t survive week to week on ad sales. I use most of my spots to push Cinema Insomnia DVDs or sell them to my distributor Apprehensive Films.
*Ahem*…mrloboshop.com. What was the Question???

Party Favors: How is the 10th season coming together?

Mr. Lobo: It’s been fun getting back into a real studio. In the past couple years we’ve taped a show here and there–mostly Halloween Specials to pad out our original syndication package. We’re editing several episodes now…and will create 26 new ones. The first is scheduled to air Halloween Weekend. Ed Wood’s lost disaster-piece Venus Flytrap that features a playful jab at another late night film show Mystery Science Theater.

Party Favors: Have you ever found out how much it would cost to run “Creature From the Black Lagoon” on your show?

Mr. Lobo: There is nothing Misunderstood about that one. It’s just plain good. The Creature still holds up. Much of what I like about CINEMA INSOMNIA is I get to be Hamburger Helper. Mr. Lobo needs the movies and they need Mr. Lobo. As far as getting a Universal Classic for broadcast and possible subsequent video release–the red tape is astounding…It would cost much more than what we bring in and would not be viable. But perhaps if I get on a larger network with a film library like what Turner Classic Movies has. Mr. Lobo has presented THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON Live at theaters several times and to get movies like that from Universal, MGM, or whoever for a one time performance in a theater costs in the ballpark 300 bucks and/or a percentage of the door.

Party Favors: What’s your most popular episode?

Mr. Lobo: STARCRASH never did much for us before the “Cease and Desist”. After we pulled it from our rotation STARCRASH became legendary…followed by GIGANTIS, BIGFOOT, our live pledge drive for KTEH–DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS, IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT ASTRONAUTS, and our syndication premiere NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD…they all have their peaks at times…

Party Favors: What was it like to do the Halloween special with Bob Wilkins?

Mr. Lobo: Bob called and said he was coming to Sacramento to do my show with me and I needed to pick him up from the bus station. I thought he was kidding! But sure enough…there he was big as life stepping off that Greyhound from Reno. I wrote 11 pages of script that was quickly discarded…we ad libbed and improv’d the whole thing. We just played in the cemetery for 2 hours. That was his last appearance on TV. He was too sick after that…but we did lots of conventions and screenings together. He was a great man who taught me so much. I miss him.

Party Favors: Is there a major following of your Plan 9 from Outer Space – Hardware Wars double bill?

Mr. Lobo: Not as much as there should be! I think the George Lucas puppet in that episode is too scary! HARDWARE WARS mastermind Ernie Fosselius also directed the CINEMA INSOMNIA episodes for PLAN 9, EEGAH! NIGHTMARE IN BLOOD, and most of the upcoming WAR OF THE PLANETS episode.

??Party Favors: How many of your episodes are now available on youtube?

Mr. Lobo: Currently there are 25 full length 2 hour shows and my host wraps from 2 others.

Party Favors: Is it a joy to not have people watching 10 parts of an episode on youtube?

Mr. Lobo: At least this way I can pretend they’re watching the whole thing. I’m not wondering : “What happened in part 6-did I say something wrong?”

Party Favors: Is it nice to be able send people a link when they ask where to watch you?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo’s CINEMA INSOMNIA has been on Bittorent, Mevio, Livestream, Amazon, etc. YouTube however seems the most universal so far…people know it. They understand it. They can watch it on their various devices and boxes.

Party Favors: Has your popularity soared since your cameo on Scooby-Doo?

Mr. Lobo: You have to already know it’s supposed to be me or supposedly supposed to be me-so I don’t know if my popularity has exactly soared. Not like when pro-wrestler Chris Jericho called me a “fag” and I was afraid to leave my house for two weeks.

Party Favors: Did you know that Professor Emmanuel Raffalo was going to look like you?

Mr. Lobo: A friend who works for Cartoon Network tipped me off that something maybe happening. I had no idea it was a Scooby-Doo villain until people kept telling me…You’re in Scooby-Doo! You’re in Scooby-Doo!??Party Favors: Have you spoken with Jeff Bennett to uncover his technique for playing your voice?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo in true WWE fashion threatened to beat his candy-kisser senseless! I’ll do my own voice next time thankyouverymuch.

Party Favors: Do you now feel like a Harlem Globetrotter? Who was your favorite guest star on the Scooby-Doo Movies?

Mr. Lobo: Always…I feel like them all the time. Like when the Globetrotters were bionic and they had the Shmoo and that button that called Godzilla. Comedian Don Knotts and singer Jerry Reed were probably the two most memorable guest stars off hand. Oh, and Tim Conway.
Party Favors: Are little kids throwing stuff at you for trying to kill Scooby?

Mr. Lobo: Nope. Just 45 year old fanboys.

Party Favors: If you could kill one Scooby-Doo castmember, which one would it be and how would you do it?

Mr. Lobo: Mr. Lobo would curb stomp Scrappy-Doo and that Tibetan kid Flim-Flam.

Party Favors: If the Great Pumpkin could give you one wish, what would you want this Halloween?

Mr. Lobo: I would wish for this interview to be over so I can go back to being the greatest horror host in the world…

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature Lethal Ladies Collection packs three tales of female heat in the Philippines. In the middle of the Kung Fu craze of the ’70s, Roger Corman realized he needed an angle to have an impact in the market place. TNT Jackson had two big hooks by casting Jeannie Bell as the title star. They found a female version of Black Belt Jones with slick martial arts moves. But the bigger hook is Topless Kung Fu. You need any other reason to buy this DVD? Bell arrives in Hong Kong in search of her brother’s killers. The journey starts off on a bad foot when she goes to the extremely bad part of the city. Seems her brother wasn’t hanging with a posh crowd. She unwittingly befriends and beds Stan Shaw (Rocky and The Great Santini) even though he’s her brother’s executioner. Bell’s fighting technique is more convincing than Hulk Hogan. She moves like a dancer instead of a killer. She’s breaks a man’s arm at a right angle. Bell got her big break in several Beverly Hillbillies episodes. Good thing Jethro didn’t get to rough with her.

Firecracker is a remake of TNT Jackson with Jillian Kesner, the winner of the Black Belt Olympics and star of Kung Fu Cannibals. Cirio H. Santiago remains in the director’s chair. This time it’s her sister’s disappearance that brings her to the Philippines. The local Mafia want Kesner to vanish like her sister. She crosses paths with Kung Fu master Darby Hinton (Malibu Express). Turns out the guy knows her sister. He really gets to know Kesner during a love scene that involves cutting off clothes with various blades. So you get a kinky fetish along with topless Kung Fu when during a fight her bra gets snipped off. Why wasn’t Firecracker Oscar nominated? They reused Shogun Assassin‘s synth score to pump up the action although Kesner needs little help when she gets her feet in motion. This is better than Gymkata.

Too Hot to Handle stars Cheri Caffaro and isn’t based off the script from TNT Jackson. She’s best known for making her Ginger films. Too Hot is better than her trilogy. She’s an assassin that has not problems getting dirty to make her targets exposed. She snuffs one guy using his own S&M toys. She just ignores the safeword. Fans of cinematic cockfighting will get a thrill over a visit to the Manilla Roosterdome. The bird violence is cut with Cheri naked in bed. Would Stephen Colbert approve of such an editing technique? The ending seals the movie as the only Cheri movie you ever need to own in your collection. Cheri contributes an audio commentary. She recaps her time in Manilla. Lethal Ladies Collection is a threesome for the eyes. The transfers look great. Next up on the release schedule is the Double Feature of Streets and Angel in Red. Streets has Christina Applegate as a teen hooker being chased by a nutso cop. This is only available from Shoutfactorystore.com.

MGM MOD SQUAD

More goodies from the AIP collection are finally seeing their way onto home video thanks to the MGM’s Manufacture on Demand (MOD) program. So many things that would have been perfect for the Midnite Movies series can now see the light of day. The big thing to remember about the DVD-Rs is that they don’t play well on computer drives, but look great on dedicated DVD players.

The Savage Seven is another one of the classic AIP biker flicks made in the late ’60s. A group of outlaws led by Adam Roarke tangle with an Indian tribe. This isn’t an all out stomping since Adam lusts for Joanna Frank (Say Anything), a member of the tribe. Her brother disapproves of the Roarke. What’s interesting is this film was produced by none other than Dick Clark. He hosted the clean cut American Bandstand while overseeing a biker fight. Penny Marshall has a bit part. Director Richard Rush (The Stuntman) made this right after The Psych-Out.

Act of Vengeance is like an exploitation Lifetime movie. A group of women in a support group realize they were raped by the same guy wearing a hockey mask. Instead of just commiserating, the ladies use their self-defense training to become an attack unit so they can hunt down their attacker. They also cruise around looking for other potential attackers so they can turn the tables. Will their form of justice have an impact or get them in trouble with the law? They just don’t make movies like this anymore. It’s the female version of Death Wish. This was released as Rape Squad.

Sugar Hill pits zombies against mobsters in a Blaxtion era hit. This shouldn’t be confused with the Wesley Snipes film. Marki Bey’s boyfriend gets whacked by the Mafia after refusing to pay for protection. Instead of going to the police, Bey seeks help from Baron Samedi. He’s the voodoo lord of the dead. In exchange for her soul, Bey control a zombie army that rises from their graves. They are on a mission to eat underworld brains. Bey looks so tempting when dishing out the evil revenge. This deserves a double feature with Scream Blacula Scream.

The Christine Jorgensen Story is the famous tale of how a man became the most famous woman in America thanks to a visit to Sweden. John Hansen plays the man who goes under the knife to reveal his real identity. “Did the surgeon’s knife make me a woman or a freak?” the poster asks. There was no Logo or Discover Health channel back in 1970 to give numerous documentaries about the subject. So viewers had to depend on a melodrama about a little boy who felt more comfortable in his mother’s clothes and make up than on the pitcher’s mound. It’s great exploitation art with a heart.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Fedrerico Fellini’s The Clowns is the great director’s semi-documentary look at the painted circus performers. He made the project for RAI TV in Italy, but it was also run in theaters around the world. Nino Rota’s circus inspired music finally gets to linger around the big top. The film is split into three parts. It opens with a little kid watching the Circus tent get set up next to his home. We’re taken inside the beehive and the performances. The middle is a history of the great clowns of Europe (non-politicians). Fellini gets into the act as he appears on camera. The final part is a clown’s funeral. They don’t pull the coffin out of the back of a clown car. But it mixes the humor with the sadness. The 1080p image brings out the colors and makeup details of the various clowns. You see how much goes into making their faces and costumes pop for a live audience. It’s less of a documentary and more a reflection on what clowns meant to Fellini.

DVD SHELF

Barney Miller: The Complete Series finally brings together all the seasons of the great cop sitcom. Sony was seriously dragging their feet only putting out three seasons in 7 years. Shout! Factory has booked all eight seasons along with choice bonus features. This means I’m no longer sentenced to hearing my father asking if Season Four has been released. He will be too busy watching all 170 episodes including the original pilot with the really bad name of “The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller.” That would have taken up a whole page in TV guide back in 1974. The series follows the odd cases of a detective squad in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village. Since this was before the area was cleaned up, there’s plenty of comical scummy crooks dragging into the holding cell. Hal Linden’s Barney Miller looks like a real police captain from an episode of Police Story so there’s a touch of normalcy in the precinct. During the series run, there were great detectives working the streets. Fish (Abe Vigoda) is the elderly detective hoping his body will hold out till retirement. Vigoda at this point was best known for his work in The Godfather. Wojciehowicz (Max Gail) is the young face in the room. He’s plucky and ready to go. Harris (Ron Glass) is the sophisticated member of the squad. He looks good in plainclothes. Yemana (Jack Soo) makes a mess and bad coffee. Amanguale (Gregory Sierra) gets too tied into the job. Deputy Inspector Lugar (James Gregory) drives everyone nuts with his “in my day” stories. During the course of the show there were personal changes which allowed Dietrich (Steve Landesberg) and Levitt (Ron Carey) to join the force. This ranks with Car 54 Where Are You? as classic cop comedy if you don’t count CHiPs. The bonus features include interviews with Max Gail, Abe Vigoda and Hal Linden. The big plus is the first season of Fish. This was Vigoda’s spin-off series where he retires from the force only to discover his wife wants to have foster kids live with him. Todd Bridges was the break out star of the kids. There’s no news if season 2 of Fish will be coming out on DVD. The public can’t be denied their Abe Vigoda. Speaking of Abe, he’s a great clip from Barney Miller:

CatDog, Season 1, Part 1 is the pet version of The Odd Couple spliced with The Human Centipede. How did a cat and a dog get joined together at their torsos? Don’t ask. But the fact that these two beasts are as different as different can be. The cat (Tom Kenny) is sophisticated. The dog (Jim Cummings) is a dog. They have a wall mouse (Carlos Alazraqui) that drives cat nuts and entertains dog. The boxset has the first 10 episodes. What’s amazing is how these two halves became animated superstars. Kenny is beloved around the globe as SpongeBob SquarePants. Cummings is currently the voices of Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger. Alazraqui got a face job as one of the cops on Reno 911. Billy West (Ren and Stimpy) also voiced a character. The big delight for me is SNL‘s Laraine Newman as Swedish twin cats that’s Cat’s love interest.

Jem and the Holograms: The Truly Outrageous Complete Series! finally gets all three seasons of the ’80s animated series into one boxset. Hasbro created the series when they needed a female show to balance out the boy zone that was G.I. Joe and He-Man. Instead of going for a pure action show, they combined the things little girls with pop music, cool outfits and love into the core of the show. Jerrica Benton’s father dies leaving her half of his record company a home for foster children. While in the past the record company had donated a nice chunk of money to the house, the co-owner of the label needs to dedicate most of the cash to launching his latest hit group: The Misfits. Don’t get excited. It’s not Glenn Danzig’s old band. This is an all girl group that sounds like Lene Lovich calmed down. Jerrica isn’t thrilled. What she discovers is that her father also left her Synergy, a computer that can wrap holograms around people by using microprojcting earrings. She transforms herself and friends into a band that can rival the Misfits. Why can’t Jerrica just be Jem? Like Tori Spelling, she wants to make it on her own talent and not just cause she owns the record company. The Misfits aren’t happy. There’s a lot of back stabbing including burning down the Foster Home. Things get more outrageous in the third season when the Stingers arrive. They don’t like Jem or the Misfits. What band will rule supreme? Seeing how this cartoon is based on a toy line, it’s good to know that the bonus features include the old doll commercials. Each disc has a jukebox feature to play all the music videos at once. The documentary introduces views to the faces behind the voices. If you’re wondering what to get that special lady in your life that’s in her mid-30s, this might work better than a dozen roses.

Dennis the Menace: Season Three is the end of the line for Joseph Kearns as Mr. Wilson. Unlike other actors who get into a contract dispute or flee for a spinoff. He died of a cerebral hemorrhage during the end of the season. Since the flustered neighbor was an important character, the producers couldn’t just keep going with Mr. Wilson supposedly on a vacation trip to Hong Kong. They hired Gale Gordon (The Lucy Show) to play Mr. Wilson’s brother. The good news is that Gale looks like the Mr. Wilson in the comic strip with his mustache and physique. This season also marks the last time that Dennis (Jay North) would wear overalls. Kearns has a few great moments in his finale. “Trouble from Mars” squeezes his head into a space helmet. “Haunted House” gets him wrapped into a real estate plan that spooked. “Mr. Wilson’s Inheritance” is strange as he talks about the passing of an aunt that might have left him a fortune. “The Man Next Door” was the last time Kearns played the role. He swears a door to door salesman is a burglar. “John Wilson’s Cushion” introduces Gale Gordon as part of the cast. “Dennis and the Witch Doctor” starts a rumor that Mr. Wilson practices voodoo. This might have been true. Season Four (the final season) is scheduled for January 10, 2012.

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Bonanza: The Official Second Season, Volume 2 brings more excitement from the Cartwright family. “Bank Run” has Hoss (Dan Blocker) and Little Joe (Michael Landon) rob a bank in order to keep the money from being stolen by the bank’s owner. “The Fugitive” stars James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) as a dead man. Hoss kills the town drunk in “Vengeance.” Was it rally an accident? Oddly enough the actor playing the drunk’s name is Keith Richards. This episode aired years before the Rolling Stones arrived in America. But Keith’s reputation preceded them. “The Dark Gate” lets James Coburn flip out as a bad guy. Harry Dean Stanton gets a small role. “The Gift” presents Martin Landau (Mission: Impossible). “The Infernal Machine” schemes George Kennedy in a horseless carriage racket. Because Congress mandated it, Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo) is Sam Hill in “Sam Hill.”

Gunsmoke: The Fifth Season, Volume 1 is from the time when the series was still only a half an hour long. When it was syndicated, the retitled the show as Marshal Dillon. That’s how it currently runs on ME-TV. This boxset has the first 20 episodes. “Target” makes John Carradine upset that his son wants to elope with a gypsy woman. “Kitty’s Injury” gets the bar owner tossed by her horse. The local sod busters have no desire to help her. Don’t they want free booze if they get her to Doc? “Horse Deal” has a tandem pair of hustlers working the area. “Johnny Red” has a man show up claiming to be a dead Civil War vet. Trouble is he’s really an outlaw. “Annie Oakley” is not about the legendary female shooter. This is a woman who might have killed her husband. “Odd Man Out” returns the spouse violence when Elisha Cook Jr. claims his wife ran away. Trouble is a neighbor swears they saw him digging a hole. “Miguel’s Daughter” turns Simon Oakland (Kolchak) into a vengeful dad wanting to snuff the guys who are troubling his daughter. “False Witness” bears Wayne Rogers (M*A*S*H). Only 15 and a half boxsets to go until the complete Gunsmoke is released on DVD.

The Last Circus is the extreme cult film of the month. This is not your normal low budget cheapo film about clowns out of control. This looks much better than Shakes the Clown. A sad clown arrives at a Spanish circus in 1973 at the end of Franco’s time. He’s got a lot of bad memories from his childhood. He falls in love with a female acrobat, but she’s married to the happy clown. What keeps the smile on the happy clown’s face is beating her up. The sad clown doesn’t get happy from this fact. He wants to take on the happy clown. The film is gloriously vicious and insane. This shall reenforce anyone’s fear of clowns. Spring for the Blu-ray to really feel the grandeur. You can choose between the Spanish soundtrack and the English dub. This is the perfect double feature with Fellini’s The Clowns

Your Highness infuriates me. What is the point of offering an unrated version if you continue to obscure the nudity? When I click on the Unrated version, I expect to at least see Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel dry humping. How about Portman opening Zooey’s chastity belt only using her tongue? That’s at least obscured nudity worth watching. That would have made this a must own on Blu-ray or an Imax print. After all my talks in film school about the sacred nature of the Unrated cut, it seems that Danny McBride and David Gordon Green weren’t listening. Maybe if they delivered the goods, this movie wouldn’t be bound for Razzie glory.

Drinking Made Easy: Season 1 puts Zane Lamprey on the road to explore America’s fun watering holes. He’s joined by comics Steve McKenna and Marc Ryan as they get sloshed on camera more times than Anthony Bourdain and Dave Attell combined. There’s 24 episodes of them hitting numerous cities including Salt Lake City. Turns out there’s more than Sprite in the land of the Jazz. It’s impossible to come up with a drinking game since no matter what you pick, you’ll be blotto before the episode is over. HDNet lets these guys get away with plenty of fun. The big bonus feature is a special on their Drinking Made Easy Comedy Tour. There haven’t been this many drunks on stage since the Rat Pack broke up.

To Be Twenty is a brilliant disturbed film from 1978. There are actually two movies in the DVD box. The first is the theatrical version about two hot girls (Gloria Guida and Lilli Carati). This plays like a normal young ladies having causing risque fun around Rome. This has all the right notes for a Cinemax After Dark classic. Gloria and Lilli get caught making out and are run out of town by the locals. This leads to their adventures in teasing men, being hookers and chased by the cops. They’re a troublesome twosome in this fluffy fun. Then you watch Fernando Di Leo’s director’s cut. It seems like the same film except the opening has changed. Turns out that was the ending. And it’s a bit more extreme than being chased out of town. The movie goes from a sex comedy to a snuff film in the final reel. It’s a incredibly uncomfortable jolt. For those into freaky Eurocore, this movie is a must watch. If you just want a good bad girls on the road movie, just watch the theatrical version. “Twenty Years for a Massacre” is a 30 minute featurette about the harsh ending.

Casper, The Friendly Ghost: The Complete Collection 1945-63 contains all 81 cartoons made for the theater and TV. Casper is best known as the ghost that just hates scaring people. He merely wants to be a nice undead spirit. But the other ghosts hate his goodie goodie ways. They won’t let him stay in their haunted houses. The early cartoons are a bit rough, but the image improves over the course of the years. The TV cartoons reflect the comic books with the addition of Wendy the Good Witch, cousin Spooky and Nightmare the Ghostly Horse. Casper’s a fun character for the kids around Halloween since he reminds us that not every undead creature wants to steal your soul or eat your brains.

The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Volume Three – Iron Man Unleashed and The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Volume Four – Thor’s Last Stand contain the last 13 episodes of the first season of the animated series. .Judging from the upcoming live action movie, this animated series is much more entertaining. Volume Three brings the Masters of Evil together. Can they destroy Avengers’ Mansion? Kang the Conqueror arrives for three episodes. He wants to destroy Captain America and takeover the Earth. Big plans for a guy with a big nickname. Volume Four takes the superheroes to Asgard to battle Loki. Can they really survive in such a place? How can you beat up a bunch of Gods?

Page One: Inside the New York Times is a fly on the wall look at what goes on inside the nation’s most prestigious newspaper. This is a tough time for newspapers as readership drops with people getting their articles “free” from the internet. How much does a newspaper have to evolve to stay profitable. How do they compete in an information world where people don’t want to ready about today during tomorrow’s breakfast? Can a newspaper be considered a necessary media or a quaint throwback to what grandma used to read? Who still works at newspapers after the massive layoffs over the last decade? Is the iPad really going to solve things? Does anyone stop the presses anymore for breaking news? Has Rupert Murdoch hacked their phones and computers? That question doesn’t get asked since the film is older than the News Corp scandal. The film had a warm response at the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham. I read a lot of the responses that were posted online. The bonus features Carl Bernstein on the Real Threat to Newspapers, Emily Bell on Journalism, Sarah Ellison on Murdoch and a lot of reactions to the film. Supposedly the New York Times wasn’t too happy about it so that means New York Post readers must be prepared to love it.

The Real L Word: Season Two gives more views into the real lives of lesbians that enjoy being followed by camera crews. This is so much better to watch than The Real Housewives of New Jersey. For those that missed the first season, don’t worry about carryover lives. Turns out only the out of control Whitney Moseley and the tipsy Romi Klinger are back. The new women represent various positions from the freshly open to the couple wanting a kid. While it’s a reality show, there’s plenty of drama with Whitney and her ladies. Unlike those all talk – no rock National Geographic Channel sex shows, these ladies don’t mind being exhibitionists for the cameras. Since the series airs on Showtime, nobody is eager to prune down the action.

TRANSYLVANIA – The pumpkins, costumes and candy corns have arrived in the stores. It’s spooky season! The most exciting news is that the official spooksperson of pre-Halloween time is back. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark has revived Movie Macabre for THiS Network (see your local digital sub-station TV guide). She’s serving up beastly cinema classics. However she’s more than a late night horror hostess. She’s a movie star. Her second film Elvira’s Haunted Hills receives a Special Enhanced Edition DVD from E One.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills was her homage to the Edgar Allen Poe films starring Vincent Price and directed by Roger Corman. Amongst the comic moments were tributes to House of Usher, Pit and the Pendulum and The Tomb of Ligeia. Since they couldn’t get Vincent Price, Rocky Horror‘s Richard O’Brien took the role. Back in 1851, Elvira cuts through Carpathia to get to Paris for a job as a Can Can dancer. She gets booted from the local hotel. She ends up staying in O’Brien’s castle up on a nearby hill. What horrors await her behind the locked doors?

After my review of Oblivion, director Sam Irvin dropped me an email of thanks. Turns out He’s done plenty in his career including helming Elvira’s Haunted Hills. Along with Oblivion, he directed Oblivion 2: Backlash. He was Co-Executive Producer of Gods and Monsters starring Ian McKellen and Brendan Fraser. Plus he directed all the episodes of Dante’s Cove. In between an earthquake, hurricane and a Kardashian marriage, the Party Favors had a chance to swap questions with director Sam Irvin about his experiences with Elvira on the Romanian locations.

Party Favors: What brought you and Elvira together?

Sam Irvin: I met Cassandra Peterson at a party in Hollywood shortly after my first feature film Guilty As Charged was released. The movie starred Rod Steiger, Heather Graham, Lauren Hutton, and Isaac Hayes, and was a dark horror comedy about a deranged vigilante who kidnaps murderers who’ve escape justice and fries them on his own electric chair in the dungeon under his meat packing plant. To my great delight, Cassandra had seen the movie, loved it, and told me she wanted to work with me someday.

At the time, I was in prep to direct a Showtime movie called Acting On Impluse starring Linda Fiorentino as a scream queen B-movie actress who is accused of killing her sleazy horror movie producer. The movie also starred C. Thomas Howell and Nancy Allen, but was loaded with cameos including Isaac Hayes, Zelda Rubinstein, Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, Brinke Stevens, Dick Sargent (Darren from Bewitched in his last role), Don Most, among others. So, I asked Cassandra to join the cameo line-up as the bouncer at a country-western bar. It was just one scene but she killed it in a big blond Dolly Parton wig (which she borrowed from Darryl Hannah). In the scene, she checks the I.D.’s of Linda Fiorentino, C. Thomas Howell, and Nancy Allen as they enter the bar. Of course, Cassandra — with her training at the Groundlings comedy academy — improvised some hilarious zingers that really punched up the scene. We got along famously and kept in touch, hoping to work more together in the future.

Party Favors: During the shoot of Elvira’s Haunted Hills, did you find yourself confused as to calling her Elvira or Cassandra when she’s in make up?

Sam Irvin: I think if you did not know Cassandra well, you might get confused when she’s in her Elvira drag and call her Elvira — because it is quite a transformation and Elvira looks nothing like Cassandra. But, because I had known Cassandra for several years prior to making the film, I didn’t have that problem. I could mentally block out the get-up and see the real Cassandra peeking out from within. It must seem funny to people around us when I’m talking to Elvira in all her regalia about mundane things like, “Were you able to get an Internet connection from your hotel room?”

Party Favors: Whose idea was it to film in Romania?

Sam Irvin: Cassandra’s relative, Robert Dornhelm, recommended Romania because he was a native of that country. She toured castles and studios there the summer before the film was made.

Party Favors: Elvira’s Haunted Hills pays homage to the Poe films made by Vincent Price and Roger Corman. Did you ever hear from Corman about your film?

Sam Irvin: No, I’ve never heard if Roger saw it. I think he would get a huge kick out of it, though, because both Cassandra and I are nuts about his movies and we threw in every Cormanism we could think of — with heartfelt love and affection.

Party Favors: Did anyone try to rent you his old sets and props from his time with Vincent?

Sam Irvin: I wish those old sets still existed. They were gorgeous. We went to great lengths to recreate them, at least in spirit, if not exact duplications in some cases.

Party Favors: Which of Poe-Corman-Price collaborations is your favorite?

Sam Irvin: No doubt, The Pit and the Pendulum is my hands down favorite — partly because, in addition to Vincent Price, the film also stars the fabulous and wicked Barbara Steele. But I love them all: House of Usher, The Haunted Palace, Tomb of Legeia, Masque of the Red Death, The Raven and Tales of Terror.All of them were seminal influences on me as a kid. I even memorized Vincent Price’s monologue from The Pit and the Pendulum for some school acting presentation and I can still recite it today. Is that geeky, or what?! When I met with Cassandra to possibly direct Elvira’s Haunted Hills, she had no idea just how serious a fan I was of those films and was astounded when I broke into Price’s monologue. Instead of calling security, she offered me the job.

Party Favors: Did you try to get Dick Miller or Jonathan Haze in the film?

Sam Irvin: No, mainly because there weren’t any obvious parts for them and because we had to limit how many people we brought over to Romania — for budgetary reasons. Had we shot the film locally here in L.A., we might very well have thought of some way to wedge them in.

Party Favors: How weird was it going from talking to Richard Chamberlin for the role of Lord Vladimere and ending up with Richard O’Brien? Did the role get altered for Richard O’Brien?

Sam Irvin: The role of Lord Vladimere Hellsubus was designed to be our “Vincent Price” character in Elvira’s Haunted Hills. He was the demented Lord of the castle and he had many afflictions — like super-acute hearing and over-ripe taste buds (traits of Price’s character in House of Usher) and super-sensitive eyes (like Price’s character in Tomb of Ligeia). In fact, we searched everywhere to find the exact style of wrap-around sunglasses Price wore in Tomb of Ligeia. So, when it came to casting that part, we wanted someone who adored Vincent Price as much as we did and who could honor his legacy with a loving send-up. We approached Christopher Lee, Mick Jagger, Tim Curry, and Richard Chamberlain (who is a very close friend of Cassandra’s), but, for various reasons (scheduling conflicts, not enough money being offered, or the part simply didn’t strike a chord), we ended up with the best choice of all: Richard O’Brien. People remember him as Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but not everyone realizes that he wrote Rocky Horror — the Broadway smash and the movie. The libretto, the screenplay, the music, and the lyrics. All that comes from the brilliant mind of Richard O’Brien. And, of course, of all our choices for the role of Vladimere, O’Brien was head-over-heels in love with Vincent Price and knew the Corman films backwards and forwards just like Cassandra and I did. So, there was instant recognition of exactly what we wanted to do and he hammed it up to the hilt, yet took it very seriously and delivered a nuanced and intelligently layered performance. He was absolutely brilliant… and hilarious! I don’t think our other choices would have been as “into it” as O’Brien. We were very lucky.

Party Favors: Is it odd to think that Richard’s now the voice of the dad on Disney’s Phineas and Ferb cartoon?

Sam Irvin: I didn’t even know that! Hilarious!

Party Favors: Who was more famous in Romania: Elvira or The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Sam Irvin: Neither one, really. The phenomenon of both had never caught on in that country. Back in the 1970s and 1980s, Romania was under a dictatorship and communism — so these deliciously perverse influences were not allowed across the border.

Party Favors: If a crew member was caught humming “Time Warp” around O’Brien; did they have to pay a performance royalty?

Sam Irvin: None of our crew — which was entirely Romanian — had ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, so it was not a problem. Our American actors were in awe of O’Brien at first, but soon cozied up and became pals. It’s funny but when you’re with him, he dominates the conversation so much, you never have time to slip in a verse of “Time Warp” or anything else. It’s hard to believe in retrospect — because I am such a huge Rocky Horror fan — but I don’t recall asking him much about it. We were having too much fun with what was happening on our movie to dwell on our past career accomplishments. If the conversation drifted to nostalgia, it was centered on Corman / Price / Poe.

Party Favors: What’s the craft service table like in Romania?

Sam Irvin: Scarce and scary. I’d brought my own peanut M&M’s (my drug-of-choice for afternoon pick-me-ups). I also live on Diet Coke so I had to get them to special order a supply to keep me going.

Party Favors: Did you make a pilgrimage to Dracula’s Castle?

Sam Irvin: We did. To all ten or fifteen of them. Every castle in Romania claims that Vlad Tepes lived there at one point or another. I have a feeling that includes those in which he visited for one night — and some that he never stepped foot in. So, you really have no idea what’s real or tourist-trap myth.

Party Favors: Was it interesting to know that you’re one of the few horror films about Romania that went to Romania and not Universal City?

Sam Irvin: Shocking, isn’t it? I expected the country to be in black-and-white and have Una O’Connor, Dwight Frye, and Maria Ouspenskaya wandering the streets.

Party Favors: What is your favorite memory of the shoot?

Sam Irvin: My favorite memory was walking onto the pit and the pendulum set when it was completed — designed and built by Radu Corciova, our brilliant production designer who also designed my two Oblivion movies which were shot in Romania as well. I felt like bellowing my Vincent Price monologue but was afraid they’d call the men in the white suits to cart me away to some Transylvanian asylum. It brought tears to me eyes, though. It was the culmination of everything I’d grown up adoring.

Party Favors: What is the strangest thing you remember about the production?

Sam Irvin: When we were shooting the opening Transylvanian village scene, the local extras’ wardrobe was not provided by our costume department. They wore their every day clothing and it looked authentically period for 1851. Talk about a “time Warp”!

Party Favors: Does it surprise you that after Elvira found her Next Elvira, she resurrected Movie Macabre? Can she really retire?

Sam Irvin: No one other than Cassandra could ever be Elvira — and I think the public agrees with me. She’s got to keep the flame alive herself. There’s just no substitute!

Party Favors: Did you figure out what’s Cassandra/Elvira’s secret for remaining so youthful? Did you find any PAs missing their blood?

Sam Irvin: It is insane how youthful Cassandra remains. I have snooped around her house to see if she’s got an aging portrait hidden in some closet — like Dorian Gray. We just got together last week to record the audio commentary and interviews for this new DVD reissue of the movie. We made the film eleven years ago and she hasn’t aged a single day! The same cannot be said of me. Damn her! I don’t know how she does it.

Party Favors: Do you know what’s extra in the upcoming “Enhanced Edition?”

Sam Irvin: Yes! The first DVD release included a “Making of” featurette, a photo gallery, and an interview with Richard O’Brien. For this new “Enhance Edition,” we’ve added an audio commentary with Cassandra, Mary Scheer (of MadTV and iCarly fame — who played Vladimere’s wife in our film), Mary Jo Smith (who played Zou Zou, Elvira’s French maid), Scott Atkinson (who played Dr. Bradley with the “George Sanders” accent), and me. All five of us also did new on-camera interviews which have been cut together into a dishy 30-minute bonus featurette called: “Transylvania or Bust: Elvira & Company Tell All!” Plus, we’ve also added hilarious outtakes. It’s truly a treasure trove for Elvira fans, to say the least. We’re so jazzed and proud of it.

Party Favors: What concerned you the most about getting to make Oblivion and it’s sequel at the same time? Do you think more low budget films should do this instead of waiting for the original film to come out?

Sam Irvin: We made both Oblivion films together and I shot them as if it was one long movie. When we shot scenes in the town saloon, for instance, we shot all the saloon scenes for both films. The entire schedule was arranged that way. It certainly made economic sense — and I am surprised more low-budget films are not made this way. Big budget franchises are doing this more frequently — like the last two Harry Potter movies and Bill Condon’s upcoming Twilight two-parter. I applied the same formula to my Dante’s Cove television series. We shot each entire season as if it was one long movie, shooting out each set, one by one.

Party Favors: What was it like to work with Julie Newmar on Oblivion and Oblivion 2?

Sam Irvin: Julie Newmar was the cat’s meow. A very charming lady, very serious about her work, and extremely gracious to let us send-up her Catwoman legacy.

Party Favors: Did George Takei recount his time with John Wayne on Green Berets?

Sam Irvin: No, but he had a few choices things to say about a certain cast member on Star Trek — which shall not be repeated here. George is a HILARIOUS man! And, like me, we’re both out and proud gay men, with long term partners, so we have all that in common.

Party Favors: You were a producer on Gods and Monsters so you’ve paid tribute to Boris Karloff and Vincent Price; when will you make a project dedicated to Peter Lorre?

Sam Irvin: I adore Peter Lorre and I’ve always thought it would be great to have a character in one of my comedy projects do an impersonation of Lorre the way that Scott Aktinson imitated George Sanders for Elvira’s Haunted Hills. Wouldn’t that be fun? Fingers crossed it will happen one day. On the more serious side, Peter Lorre led such a fascinating life. I devoured Stephen D. Youngkin’s biography The Lost One: A Life of Peter Lorre, and there’s a movie or two in there just begging to be made.

MGM MOD

Time to salivate with more choice items finally getting released from MGM’s vault thanks to their Manufacture on Demand program. They’re getting out several American International Pictures titles that didn’t get a proper release through the Midnite Movies series.

Jules Verne’s Master of the World was AIP’s attempt to make a Disney live-action movie like 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas. Instead of a submarine, we’re given a futuristic airship piloted by Captain Robur (Vincent Price). He has created new materials to go beyond the lame balloons of his day. When he lands inside a crater, the US government sends John Strock (Charles Bronson) to investigate. He hitches a ride with balloonist Prudent (Henry Hull), his daughter (Mary Webster) and her fiancé (David Franklin). The Captain plans on bring piece on Earthy by taking out all the world’s major military targets. It’s a fun thrill to see Price acting with the stars of Death Wish and Werewolf of London. There’s plenty of model effects for people who can’t stand CGI.

The Glory Stompers dares to let us see Casey Kasem as a biker. That’s right, the voice of Shaggy and America’s Top 40 wears gang colors and a beard. On top of that, he’s part of Dennis Hopper’s gang. He’s got a long distance dedication from his fist to your face! Hopper is extremely sinister when he locks eyes on Chris Noel at a biker shindig. He wants her bad. But she’s Jody McCrea’s old lady. Did you just laugh? Can you not believe that Deadhead from Beach Party is an outlaw biker? Actually he’s still a clean cut guy. He sees the good that can come from being in a biker gang. He likes the freedom of the road. He doesn’t seem to be in it for the drugs and beatings. Well Hopper and Casey stomp McCrea’s ass to the point where they declare him dead. They plot to drag his old lady down to Mexico and sell her into slavery. Casey is evil! The other bikers wants a piece of him and Dennis. This make a great start to a triple feature with The Wild Angels and Easy Rider.

The Incredible Melting Man scared me as a kid. Not the movie itself, but the creepy TV ad. What’s a worst feeling than having your flesh drip off you like wax? The credits don’t list the true star on the box: a young Rick Baker. Whatever you think of the plot, his work on making astronaut Steve West melt on screen can’t be matched. Baker makes the film live up to the title. The movie itself is pure low budget horror. It appears NASA was being run out of a series of abandoned warehouses. But there’s plenty of gross out effects as West’s body drips south. Can his terror outlast his flesh? Is there a cure? Director William Sachs would go on to helm the legendary Van Nuys Blvd. The spot the famous cameo in this production is Jonathan Demme (Silence of the Lambs). Why did he do it? Producer Samuel W. Gelfman had also worked on Demme’s Caged Heat.

Hickey and Boggs reunites the stars of I Spy as a pair of broke private eyes working Los Angeles. Bill Cosby and Robert Culp are so messed up that their office is pretty much the nearest dive bar. After a night of boozing, the duo stumble across a gig to find a missing girl. The client claims she’s his girlfriend. The reality is she’s part of a bank robbing gang. The duo keep on the case since there’s a rather healthy reward that’s more than their client’s payday. The big problem for them is the numerous dead bodies piling up in their path. Isabel Sanford (The Jeffersons) pops up. Culp does a fine job directing the action from Walter Hill’s script. Him and Cosby keep up their great chemistry on the big screen.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Dead Cert mixes a British crime flick with a Hammer Horror. An ex-mobster finds a group of mysterious businessmen want his new nightclub. He’s not in the mood to sell so he gives them their whatfors and shows them the door. What the mobster doesn’t know is that the club is on top of a major vampire’s grave. This was the vampires nice way of doing business. Things get messy with the second offer. There’s also plenty of British guys bareknuckle boxing. Ouch. Jason Flemyng of Snatch. is part of the fun. This kinda reminds me of Innocent Blood with the mixture of crime and blood sucking. It’s like a freaky production you’d catch after dark on BBCAmerica. Bonus features include a commentary track from Billy Murray and a few castmates. There’s also a 30 minute documentary about the production. The 1080p picture brings out the darkness and grimy nature of the locations.

CORMAN CORNER

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics All-Night Marathon: Vampires, Mummies & Monsters will keep things spooky during this scary season. Lady Frankenstein, The Velvet Vampire, Time Walker and Grotesque will keep you up all night with low budget fears. Lady Frankenstein gets the immediate cool factor for having Joseph Cotten (Citizen Kane) as Dr. Frankenstein. After he brings his monster to life, there’s an industrial accident. His daughter takes over the family business to make her kinda man. The fine folks at Shout! were able to locate missing scenes that were shown in Europe so you can have the option to watch Corman’s cut or the international version. The missing scenes are from video sources. The Velvet Vampire gets instant watch this status since it has Michael Blodgett of Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. He was the California beach boy of his time. This time he and his wife (Sherry Miles) met up with a strange woman (Celeste Yarnell) during an art exhibit. She invites the couple out to her desert estate for the weekend. What they don’t know about their hostess is that she’s not only bi-sexual, but a vampire who likes to watch. She sits behind a security mirror watch the couple in bed before she infiltrates their dreams. Celeste provides a commentary track about her time in the heat with Blodgett.

Time Walker is best known to MST3K fans as Being From Another Planet. It’s cheese-tasitc low budget scares. Right off the bat you can tell they’re cutting corners when they skip b-roll of Egypt for a montage of holiday snapshots of the pyramids. We’re really supposed to believe Ben Murphy (The Gemini Man) is exploring King Tut’s tomb. He comes across an unusual sarcophagus. He has no problem shipping it back to America for further examination. This film saved a lot on the budget by avoiding any sense of reality. They open up a sarcophagus without any protection. Ultimately they discover the mummy is not one of King Tut’s childhood friends. It’s alive and it wants to go home. Actor Kevin Brophy and producer Dimitri Villard sit for an interview. Where is a Gemini Man boxset? The final entry is Grotesque starring Linda Blair (The Exorcist). She goes to visit her dad, a famous movie effects artist. The house is covered in his best masks which aren’t that great. Punks break into the house to rob them, but get a bigger surprise. Can there be a bigger surprise than Linda Blair? This is a fine all night marathon as you sit in the pumpkin patch.

DVD SHELF

Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop covers the stage tour the TV host set up after he was booted off The Tonight Show. After five years of waiting for the cushy gig, things went bad. Jay Leno’s 10 p.m. experiment nearly wrecked the network. NBC didn’t want to lose Leno so Conan was given tens of millions of dollars to go away. He had to stay off TV for six months. But there was nothing against doing live shows. So he got his creative crew and band together for a cross country tour. He hit the stage like a rock god doing a strange mix of music, comedy, confession and barbs at Leno. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop gets all over the place and inside Conan’s head. He’s nervous. He’s exhausted. He’s furious. He’s not drunk. It’s kinda his version of Elvis’ That’s the Way It Is if Elvis had been screwed by Pat Boone over a gig. Eddie Vedder walks onto the stage to do The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” That’s the song your dad keeps calling “Teenage Wasteland.” Jon Hamm sexes it up with a cameo. The odd thought is that Conan might have been able to “save” his Tonight Show gig if he’d been doing live shows all along. Leno is out performing and glad handing. At the end of the tour, Conan got a new show on TBS which led to George Lopez being pushed off the channel. The only bad part is that Conan’s stage success inspired morons to put Charlie Sheen on tour after his feud with CBS.

Secrets In The Walls is another horrifying tale from the world of real estate. Jeri Ryan makes the sad mistake of buying a house at a rate that’s way below market value. How can she get such a deal? Turns out she’s not really buying. She’s merely sub-leasing the space from supernatural evil! Why doesn’t she grab her family and move out at the first sign of demonic actions? Cause you’re stuck with the mortgage. You know how hard it is to sell a house in the economic climate? Try to move one that’s haunted by ghosts that leave bloody nail scrapes on the wall. And it’s not like the bank will foreclose on a house with those issues or give you another mortgage. Jeri’s only hope is to figure out why the ghosts have chosen this house. If she can calm their spirits, maybe they’ll all be good. She should have rented although you can’t get your security deposit back for such messes.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 “Manos” The Hands of Fate – Special Edition is the version the Master has been waiting to buy. Manos has soared up the ranks of Worst Movie Ever Made charts since it debuted on MST3K. The film is a low budget confusion feast. A family gets lost on vacation and finds themselves in the middle of nowhere at a crummy lodge run by Torgo. He’s a misfit with freaky knees. The place is owned by The Master – a demonic love god that wears a robe covered in two giant handprints. It’s just an amazing thing to behold as Joel, Tom Servo and Crow dig right into a film that opens with 10 minutes of a driving scene. What makes this a Special Edition is the unaltered version of the film, the MST3K crew talking about Manos and a documentary about the movie featuring the only person connected to the production that isn’t dead or in witness protection. And that’s not all. There’s entire “Hired!” educational short put together along with a spoof of Jam Handy. This is the ultimate version of Manos.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation – The Eleventh Season is the last season of Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix) as Dr. Raymond Langston. “Shock Waves Part 3” deals with the cliffhanger of Langston getting stabbed by a serial killer. Of course the stabbing isn’t the highlight since Justin Bieber arrives! Can the teen girls next door stop screaming? “Pool Shark” is my favorite since it deals with the shark tank at the Golden Nugget Casino. I’ve gone through the slide in the shark tank. It’s fun, but little did I know that it could be deadly. Holly Madison, Elliot Gould and Method Man show up for the shark attack on Freemont Street. “Blood Moon” goes for the Twilight viewers with Vampires and Werewolves having a convention. No love for zombies? “Sqweegel” gets me squealing for Ann-Margret. “The Two Mrs. Grissons” brings back Willam Petersen as Gil Grissom. But as usual the kids go nuts for “Target of Obsession” since it has more Justin Bieber. The best bonus feature on the boxset is Dita Von Teese Burlesque Performance. There’s always a bonus seeing Dita unwind her talent on the screen.

CSI: Miami – The Ninth Season kills off Eddie Cibrian’s Jesse Cardoza. I’m going to guess his ex-wife had a viewing party that night cause that’s all the tabloids talked about. “Sudden Death” kills a bottle girl at a hot club. All the high rollers are considered suspects. The price of a bottle of cheap vodka at these clubs can give me a heart attack. “”Reality Kills” offs a reality tv star. Sadly this was not a tie-in with the Kardashians go to Miami series. “Match Made in Hell” spoofs Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker. Except this time someone is hooking up millionaires with homicidal maniacs. “Wheels Up” brings death to the roller derby. There needs to be more female roller derby plots on TV. “Caged” has a DOA with MMA implications. Is no 21st century sport safe from being a crime scene in Miami? The bonus features include a focus on the show hitting it’s 200th episode. Who would have imagined David Caruso would stick around for nearly a decade? Perhaps he just can’t leave cause his sunglasses are just too cool?

CSI: NY – The Seventh Season brings big changes to the unit. Melina Kanakaredes left the show after six years and that meant a job opening on the staff. Who could fill the slot of the series that always seems rumored for cancellation? Why it’s Sela Ward (Sisters). Her Jo Danville was a DNA investigator for the FBI. Her attitude is that you’re not a real suspect till the science declares you a guilty bastard. “The 34th Floor” gets her to work fast when she finds a dead body in the crime lab’s office building. She has a good chemistry with Mac Taylor (Gary Sinese). “Shop Till You Drop” has a jerk manager found dead in a department store window. “To What End?” brings a killer clown to Manhattan. “Do Or Die” shows how to make space at a prep school. “Nothing For Something” has Mac’s old partner return. Not Melina, but Peter Fonda (Easy Rider). Always fun to see Fonda when he’s not allowed going nuts about politics. “Wild Ride: On the Set with Peter Fonda” gives glimpses of him with the cast. There’s also a piece about John Larrroquette’s visit to the show.

Thor and Loki Blood Brothers takes the Marvel Knights animation process up another step. Esad Ribic’s artwork takes on a 3-D perspective and subtle motion. His paintings flow across the screen. Robert Rodi’s four-part Loki miniseries is faithfully brought to the screen as it gives Thor’s foster brother a chance to tell his side of the story and get a bit of revenge on Thor. Loki has taken control of Asgard and tosses his enemies in the cells. Now he has to decide if it’s time to execute Thor. David Blair’s voicing of Loki gives the trickster character a hard gravity. This is so much better than that crummy live-action Thor film with Natalie Portman.

Bad Dreams & Visiting Hours – Killer Double Feature is a chilling twosome of hospital based frights from the ’80s. Bad Dreams is about a cult that doesn’t let death get in the way of controlling members. Richard Lynch (Deathsport) heads the Unity Field. They want to truly unify themselves in what’s an “ultimate joining.” Instead of some sort of fun group activity, he douses them with gasoline and lights the room up. Jennifer Rubin (A Woman, Her Men, and Her Futon) survives, but is stuck in a coma for 13 years. She has no memory of the incident. Naturally a psychiatrist helps her remember which also causes the crispy ghost of Lynch to haunt her psych ward. He must have her unify with the rest. Director Andrew Fleming went on to give us The Craft. There’s plenty of bonus features including new interviews with the cast, vintage behind the scenes footage and the original ending with timecode. Visiting Hours lets Michael Ironside (Total Recall) go psycho on Lee Grant (Shampoo) in a hospital. She’s a TV reporter doing a series about a battered woman who killed her abusing husband. She wants it considered justifiable homicide. Ironside thinks she’s wrong and will prove it by beating her to death. He’s got some past issues form it. When he doesn’t kill her during the first attack, he sneaks into the hospital to finish the job. Williams Shatner (Star Trek) is her TV boss. The big bonus is a series of creative TV ads that turn the lights of the hospital building into a skull. These are so spooky, you’ll think twice before getting medical assistance.

Hawaii Five-O: The Eleventh Season brings to an end the era of Danno. Why did James MacArthur split before the final season? His story is that he went on vacation and didn’t feel the need to comeback to the role after a decade. This penultimate season has Jack Lord play Steve McGarrett as the ultimate super cop. While other actors tone down their character, Lord seemed eager to turn McGarrett into an action hero. He’s constantly fighting thugs and dangling off objects. He’s not taking it easy on his stuntmen. “Deadly Courier” brainwashes Danno so he’ll kill McGarrett. You think during one of the takes MacArthur took dead aim at Lord and pulled the trigger? “Death Mask” steals artifacts from King Tut’s tomb. “Stringer” tangles Paul Williams (Smokey and the Bandit) with mobsters. How will the little guy survive? “A Very Personal Matter” puts Cameron Mitchell against a doctor that might have killed his kid with drugs. “The Year of the Horse” sends McGarrett and Danno to Singapore to tackle a heroin ring. Along the way they deal with Barry Bostwick, Victoria Principal and George Lazenby. Finally Jack Lord gets to share the screen with the man that semi-replace Sean Connery as James Bond. There are people who debate how far off the rails Hawaii Five-O went during the final years. But if you’ve been enjoying the ride, the weirdness is an odd treat for the eyes. No date yet for the final season and the arrival of Truck Kealoha. A big aloha to Danno and James MacArthur

Hawaii Five-0: The First Season contains the relaunch of Jack Lord’s legacy. While I’m a hardcore traditionalist, the new cast is fine. Sure they cast Grace Park in the role of the burly Kono. But she did a fine enough job making Boomer a female character on the new Battlestar Galatica. She has the ability to play bigger than she is. Daniel Dae Kim (Lost) remains the connected to the community guy like Detective Chin Ho Kelly. Scott Caan flips around Danno. No longer is he the kid working the hot unit. He’s a guy dealing with a messed up divorce and joint custody. Alex O’Loughlin isn’t a Jack Lord version of Steve McGarrett. He lacks that Holier than Thou attitude of the Lord when busting hoods, pimps and Chinese agents. Which is fine. The original series was 10 minutes longer than the new show. The time cutback appears to be sliced away from the bad guys. This is a shame since watching top notch guest stars go bad is part of the thrill of the original. They do revive Wo Fat, the diabolical foreign agent. In a weird twist of casting, Fat is played by Mark Cacascos, the Chairman on Iron Chef. Now we know what really happened to Mario. There’s a lot of backstory action dominating the scripts which is strange since the original crew didn’t have much of a life outside of work. If McGarrett or Danno ever had a woman in an episode she was either going to die or be busted for running heroin in the stomachs of kittens. There are plenty of bonus features including Grace Park’s Tour of Hawaii. That is the best reason to grab the Blu-ray version of the boxset.

Kojak: Season Two revives the joy that is Telly Savalas. His bald NYPD Detective Lieutenant Theo Kojak quickly became an icon with his lollipop to keep him from smoking. If you ever lose your hair, Telly is an inspiration on how to work the dome. Season 2 has his crack unit busting bad guys including Kevin Dobson and his brother George Savalas (the one that got all the family’s hair). “The Chinatown Murders” opens the season with murders elevating a feud between crime families. Tige Andrews (Mod Squad) gets to play Sgt. Polucci. “Slay Ride” has several convention goers falling to their death. Kojack doesn’t think it’s an accident. Stephen McHattie (Watchman) is drawn into the mystery. “The Best Judge Money Can Buy” packs on the star power with the arrival of Abe Vigoda (Barney Miller). He’s the suspected killer of a judge’s son. How can Fish be evil? Barney Miller: The Complete Series including the first season of Fish arrives October 25. Breaking up is hard to do and Paul Anka might get broken up as an informant with an agenda. “Loser Takes All” scores with Antonio Fargas. Leslie Nielsen gets to play a bad guy with a married girlfriend. “Close Cover Before Killing” torches a building with Erik Estrada (CHiPs) and Alex Rocco feeling the flames. “Acts of Desperate Men” makes Bruno Kirby (Superdad) an revenge fiend. “Night of the Piraeus” has a homicidal stamp collector. Who else should be in the cast except Norman Lloyd! It’s not a real crime until Robert Loggia enters the scene. He does it on “Two-Four-Six for Two Hundred.” “I Want to Report a Dream” predicts Ruth Gordon (Harold and Maude) as a psychic wanting to stop a future murder. Will Kojak believe her vision? No matter what happens, Kojak reminds us to not mess up his dirty version of New York City.

Danny Phantom Season 1 is the Nickelodeon cartoon from the creator of Fairly Odd Parents. Danny Fenton is the son of ghost hunters. Being a pokey kid, he sticks his head inside what’ believed to be a broken Ghost Portal. Well it’s not that busted. His DNA gets twisted to ectoplasm. That makes him half ghost-half boy. Danny uses his new status to be the greatest ghost hunter ever. Although he can’t let his clueless mom and dad know his secret. A lot of well-known actors voice the guest ghosts. “Mystery Meat” has Patricia Heaton (The Middle) as the lunch lady that hunts the school cafeteria. Dat Phan from Last Comic Standing hides on “Parental Bonding.” Twilight‘s Taylor Lautner gets the role of Youngblood on “Teacher of the Year.” Tween girls shouldn’t get so heated since he doesn’t show off his abs. Ron Pearlman (Sons of Anarchy) voices Mr. Lancer in numerous episodes. Chynna Phillips and her husband William “Don’t Call Me Billy Cause There Is a Billy Baldwin in SAG” Baldwin are Kitty and Johnny 13 in “13.” Freddy Rodriguez (Six Feet Under) voices the Mayor in “Public Enemies.” The town is overwhelmed with ghosts. Danny has to stop them. The deep voice of Michael Dorn (Star Trek: NG) powers the Fright Knight on “Fright Night.” Laraine Newman of the original Saturday Night Live also contributes. Who is the most evil of the Johnny’s enemies? How about Vlad – mouthed by Martin Mull (Fernwood 2 Night). He puts a major bounty on Danny’s head for “The Million Dollar Ghost.” Danny Phantom is a cute version of Ghostbusters.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates: Yo Ho, Mateys Away! has seven episodes the latest hit for the Disney Channel. Seems some one has realized that the pirates of Peter Pan were more cooler than the Lost Boys. Wasn’t that the lesson from Hook? The little kid pirates are in competition with Captain Hook for control of the fun contraband on the island. They’re pals with the Croc. Most of the show seems to be set up for musical numbers. There’s even a live action band with a guy who looks like Pawn Stars‘ Chumlee’s brother. The series wins bonus points for casting Adam West (Batman) as the Wise Old Parrot. It somehow also casts Sharon Osbounre as Capt. Hook’s mom. She’s got the perfect nagging mom tone. Little boys gravitate towards the pirate action so it’s a good way to keep them focused in the back of the car. Additional booty in the DVD box includes a 7 song CD and an eye patch.

Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man is a masterpiece of badass cop action. Director Ruggero Deodato is known for Cannibal Holocaust, but he’s not a one hit Italian cinema wonder. Live Like A Cop is the kinda film that would have been made if Clint Eastwood was two actors. Think of this as Starsky and Hutch without a moral compass. Fred (Marc Porel) and Tony (Ray Lovelock) are the ultimate buddy cop pair. They’re plainclothes in sneakers on a motorcycle cruising Rome. They’re part of elite police squad that basically goes after organized crime organizations. What sets them apart from the usual deep cover teams is they have no qualms in breaking the law. They’d rather read a suspect his last rites than his charges. The movie opens with a jaw dropping 10 minute motorcycle chase that trashes the city. While they’re interviewing a suspect’s sister, they have sex with her. They interrupt one crew as they set up for a bank robbery. Fred and Tony are just the ultimate in Dirty Harry ethics. Even though they come off as chauvinistic pigs, they get slapped back. They have keep hitting on their boss’s secretary wanting to know who she’ll sleep with. She got the ultimate comeback that puts them in their place. Their boss is Adolfo Celi (Thunderball). The major bonus feature is 42 minute documentary about the film. Turns out they shot the motorcycle chase without permits. They also include a few of Deodato’s commercials from this era. The transfer looks great. This needs to be required viewing for anyone that wants their cops dirty. Here’s the opening credits.

La Rabbia (The Anger) is an experimental film. Noted Italian directors leftist Pier Paolo Pasolini and right winger Giovannino Guareschi each made films to address the same question. As laid out in the opening credits: “Two ideologies, tow opposing tendencies answer a dramatic question…Why is our life dominated by discontent, by anguish, by the fear of war, by war?” Each man uses newsreel footage to illustrate their essay about life in post war Europe. Do people have it so much better? It’s an interesting piece from 1963. Imagine if Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly were brought together to make dueling documentaries that ran in the same theater. This is like a rap battle with 50 minutes to build up your ammunition. These aren’t movies, they’re a debate about life using the power of cinema. The audience gets to decide who is the winner. The bonus features include a documentary about the cinema duel, a book of essays and a trailer makes this film look like a prize fight. Maybe there should be more of these cinema challenges being made now in the digital age. The movies are in Italian with English subtitles.

Grandview, U.S.A. should be considered as an obscure classic teen films of the ’80s. It’s more exciting than Footloose. Things start off on a strange footing with the theme song performed by Air Supply. Don’t let their smooth sounds fool you into thinking this is a fluffy feel good story about teens in a small town. This is a gruff story of life at a demotion derby that’s being attacked by developers that want to turn it into a country club. Can the kids save their car crashing fun from the uptight fat cats? Or will the hormonally raging kids self-implode before they can defend their favorite haunt. It’s a bit of a comedy since it’s from the director of Grease and Blue Lagoon. This is packed with young stars including C. Thomas Howell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Joan Cusack and a really young John Cusack. This is also Michael Winslow’s greatest role in a non-Police Academy film. For those of you who want cheap ’80s laughs, watch C. Thomas Howell rock out in his MTV fantasy scene. Kids in glowing clothes dancing around grain silos. Jamie Lee Curtis wears a skirt made of chains. Why isn’t this beaten to death on VH1? This movie must be seen by addicts of the Big ’80s Entertainment.

Perry Mason: Season 6, Volume 1 brings another 14 cases of the greatest lawyer to not appear on HLN with Nancy Grace. Raymond Burr continues his iconic role as the legal mind who knows how to get people to confess in a courtroom. “The Case of the Bogus Books” starts off the season with an appearance from Adam West (Batman). There’s intrigue about mobsters getting wrapped into the rare book business. “The Case of the Playboy Pugilist” punches Gary Lockwood (2001: A Space Odyssey) as a hot boxing prospect. He gets blamed for killing his backer. “The Case of the Dodging Domino” busts David Hedison (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) for murder. He loaned a guy money so naturally he’s a suspect. “The Case of the Unsuitable Uncle” features a bit role from Harvey Korman (Blazing Saddles). “The Case of the Weary Watchdog” sniffs a part for James Hong (Kung Fu Panda). “The Case of the Shoplifter’s Shoe” beams down Leonard Nimoy (Star Trek) into a kleptomaniac incident. This remains the premiere legal series simply because it’s that damn good. Sure it’s not like real law, but who wants that? Even Court TV’s new persona hates trials and love pawn stores. Perry Mason: Season 6, Volume 2 will be released on Nov. 22.