FRED Entertainment

July 13, 2006

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 65 – Nudie Show

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:56 am

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Once again, we dip into the Fred Sez archives for some old nudes – er, I mean, old news.

Well, just keep reading – you’ll understand..

A few days ago, whilst trolling through a handful of my earliest issues of DC’s Detective Comics for a suitable shot of our old friend, J’onn J’onzz, to run in the our annual St.Patrick’s Day entry, I stumbled upon this once ubiquitous full page advertisement in the very first issue of that Batman-headlined publication that I’d ever purchased, the August, 1961 issue, number 294…

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Granted, there’s a lot going on there, but I really wasn’t all that concerned about being tough (after all, I was reading comic books, wasn’t I?…), learning to dance, or even forking over a buck for a book chock-full of fun for boys.

Nope, it was THIS portion of that ad that caught my attention – and not entirely because I liked to draw for fun, either!

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Remember, folks, this was 1961. The Comics Code had been ruling with an iron fist for little over half a decade by that point, and they carefully scrutinized everything for objectionable content before a book made it anywhere near a newsstand – and I mean EVERYTHING! They probably even gave the staples the once over in that era of heavy-handed self-censorship!

So how, I’ve always wondered, did THIS ever get past them?

And not just once, but month after month – and not in some quasi-sleazy IW reprint sold in plastic bags in the nation’s bargain outlets, either – uh uh – but in books issued by industry leader National Periodical Publications no less!

Not sure what I’m talking about yet? Well, here’s an even CLOSER look…

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That’s right – she’s NAKED!!

AND brazenly colored in warm pink hues, just so there’d be absolutely no mistake about our shapely young model’s lack of attire!!

Geez, talk about your fun for boys!?!..

This ad has ALWAYS baffled me. Were the Comics Code people on some sort of mind-numbing flu medication the first time this thing slipped through, with its continued appearances just a matter of lucky ongoing neglect?

Whatever it was, let’s face it – there were quite a few little boys out there aping the excitement of our overly animated cartoon friend pictured directly below the not-so-modest Miss back in that woefully flesh-deprived era.

Not ME, of course. I was SHOCKED, shocked I tell you!

(And I’m gonna KEEP telling you that until you believe me! However long it takes, I’ve got the time…)

Visit Hembeck.com, Fred’s MySpace page, or send a personal message via this link.

Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

Nocturnal Admissions: TV; Storm Large on Rock Star: Supernova

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:17 am

 

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These days your average woman of a certain socio-economic class looks like either a rock star, a stripper, a hooker, or a lesbian. And they might even be all of the above. What they end up being to me is scary, which may be the point. Among the scariest new women on the scene to embody this sartorial aesthetic is Storm Large, one of the 15 contestants on the talent contest Rock Star: Supernova. 

 

Storm singing, week one

 

You probably already know enough about this show to spare me having to summarize its premise. For that you can go to TV sans Pity:

But there is one thing that you probably don’t know, which is that Storm Large comes from my town. As a Favorite Daughter, all the Goth girls are cheering her on, and the coffee bar swells are rooting for her, unless, of course, that is deemed an uncool thing to do amongst that sort. Also, all the geriatric out of touch local papers are scrambling to assign themselves street cred by suddenly acting as if all along they have loved and supported Storm and her band, The Balls (which played nearly exclusively, as far as I can tell, at a scary bar downtown called Dante’s).

Another thing you don’t know is that I have met Storm Large. Perhaps I should phrase that as “met” Storm Large, as I doubt if she can remember me among the hundreds of thousands of faces that have come before hers. Storm is a friend of a friend of mine, Marne Lucas, the superb art photographer who also lives here. When Marne was working at a local bar, called the Aalto Lounge, she invited Storm in one weeknight to watch herself on TV. Storm was the subject of a profile on an arts show aired on the local PBS affiliate. I happened to be there with a bunch of my geek nerd movie buff friends who at the time always met that week night. I watched the segment and studied the back of Storm as she sat at the bar. She has a rather humongus tattoo on her back. I met her but only to say hello, and then say I met her (I’ve also met one of the members of the recently disbanded Sleater-Kinney, who also hangs out at the same bar, but only because we once worked for the same company and she makes no secret of hating my guts. But then, she’s a woman, and this is Portland).

 

Storm on the show

 

After the show Storm went on to ensorcel and hypnotize my movie buff friends, who all sat around a round table in a back smoking room where the bathrooms were located. She came out of the bathroom, responded to their testosterone, entertained and flirted and controlled them, and then left the room, forgetting about them. It was all very entertaining but also scary. My lord, the pure absolute ego one must have to be a rock star! One of the best moments from the second week was Dilana mask-flipping off Dave Nararro when she thought he was going to say something rude (he didn’t, he praised her). Does one ever really “know” a rock star? Aren’t they always “on” and at the same time full of themselves, warding off real human contact? You can’t imagine being around rock stars (or should I say aspiring rock stars). They don’t want friendship, they want worship. And when you think of your own petty puny life, all you can think to do is drop to your knees and whine, “We’re not worthy.”

This is made evident on the show, wherein each contestant, during the post performance judging orals, endeavors to come across as arrogant, confident, strutting, and narcississtic. They all assume that they will be the singer for Supernova. Including, sadly, Storm. Except that she has a very polished and professional voice, and could front the band with confidence (in local interviews, Storm likes to say that she doesn’t need the show because she already is a rock star, and that she is doing the gig to be able to pay the musicians in The Balls). But this is what makes Rock Star ultimately more enjoyable than American Idol: the contestants aren’t amateurs. We are not watching them “grow” before our eyes. Most of Rock Star’s contestants are seasoned professionals who know what they are doing. Curiously, though, the three Supernova members and the producer of the their album seem basically pretty down to earth. Apparently only years of real rock star fame allow you in your old age to revert back to being a human being.

 

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The contestant who seems the most sympatico to me is the one actually named Star; he’s a guy who doesn’t like tattoos or the other trappings of rock living on that high level. I don’t know how well that sits with the band members of Supernova or Dave Navarro, who have no unmarked body space. Storm is a little scary herself, but that is required of Portland women. Portland, as you know, is the home of Tonya Harding, and the whole state is notable for producing Marci Rideout, the woman who gained fame by accusing her husband of rape, and Diane Downs, the trendsetting child murderess. Apparently the goal of most Portland women is to have a TV movie of the week made about them.

It turns out that Storm Large is her real name (her middle name is Susan). Which she must get that a lot. It’s the first thing she says about herself in the first interview with her aired on the show. But she is no Portlander. Storm was born in Massachusetts, and went to a prep school in Southborough called St. Marks, where her father teaches.

 

Storm Large from the website

But now seeing Storm up close thanks to the wonders of television I kept being reminded of someone else, and I couldn’t figure out who it was. I knew who contestant Lukas, from Canada, looks like: Clint Howard, widely noted as the ugliest man in Hollywood (Lucas is another homeless guy, like J.D. Fortune, who won the first season’s contest to front INXS). Anyway, I finally hit upon it. She has the same basic facial structure as Lindsay Lohan. And I revere Lindsay Lohan. It turns out that, after all these years of thinking that I was attracted to any reasonably pretty girl, I have a “type.” 

I’m a little worried about Storm. She is 37, and that seems a little long in the tooth for a band fronting rock star. At the same time, Supernova are pretty old themselves. In any case, I am rooting for Storm, while at the same time kinda hoping she loses so that she’ll come back to Portland.

 

 

July 12, 2006

Brat-halla #136: Norse Force – Avengesome

Filed under: Brat-Halla — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger Comic Version

Brat-halla #136: Norse Force - Avengesome

For extras, visit the Brat-halla Web site!

Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | BRAT-HALLA BLOG | BRAT-HALLA FORUM | ARCHIVES

July 11, 2006

Quick Stop Contest #2: Strangers With Candy – WINNER ANNOUNCED

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:46 am

strangers-20060707-01.jpgIn conjunction with the nationwide release of the big screen version of Strangers With Candy, we’ve got a new contest for ya.

This one is actually pretty straightforward – between now and midnight EST on Sunday evening (7/9/2006), e-mail in with the correct answer to the following question:

 

During the first season of Strangers With Candy, Jerri Blank had numerous pets that met grisly fates. What type of animal was each pet, what were their names, and how did they each meet their maker?

 

That’s it.

Drop your entry to mail@asitecalledfred.com, and we’ll choose the winner from all submissions with the correct answer.

So what do you win? How about a copy of the complete Strangers With Candy DVD set, signed by Amy Sedaris?

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Cool, huh? 

The winner will be notified via e-mail on Monday morning. Get to it, people!

AND THE WINNER IS: TAVIA COLLINS

The answer to the question was:

1. Shelly – Turtle – killed after being hit by a golf club at Jerri’s party

2. Clawson – Lobster – boiled after being accidentally dropped in cook pot during a fight between Jerri and her stepmom

3. Suki – Chicken – cooks herself to save a starving Jerri

4. Gregory – Woodpecker – killed by Noblet after attacking him in Noblet’s car

 

Quick Stop Contest #1: Luke Skywalker – WINNER ANNOUNCED

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:35 am

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE UPCOMING PREMIUM FORMAT BOBA FETT:

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE BOUNTY HUNTER  

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sideshowcontest1.jpgYou want a chance to win the long sold-out 12″ Jedi Luke Skywalker figure from Sideshow Collectibles?  

Do ya?

All you have to do is click on the big honkin’ link below, submit your entry, and hope the fickle finger of fate chooses you for this great prize”¦

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO WON 

 

The contest will run from Thursday, June 22, 2006, until Thursday, July 6, 2006. Be sure to check back after the contest closes when the winner will be posted.

 

                                                                                                                        

         

          

            

  

 

Toy Box: Crispy Anakin/Darth Vader Mini-Bust

Filed under: Toy Box — admin @ 2:26 am

 

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Gentle Giant has done many things, but few of them have had the legs and the overall quality of their first big hit, the Star Wars mini-busts.  These high quality busts have been the bedrock on which GG has built their organization (well, and that little scanning technology thing), and the line continues to be one of their best sellers.

When it comes to exclusives, GG often goes the same route as other companies – simple repaints or basic redecos.  Tonight I’ll look at one of their most recent exclusives, the “Darth Vader Anakin Reveal” mini-bust, or as I prefer to think of him, crispy Anakin.

You’ve never actually seen this particular version on screen exactly like this, but that’s a minor detail.  Here you get the Vader body, with the burnt, scarred head of Anakin Skywalker as seen in Episode 3, clearly visible.

This is an Entertainment Earth Exclusive, and runs $50.  That’s pretty much the going rate these days for any of the GG busts.  It is limited to a 5000 piece production run, but fear not, for that’s not particularly limited when it comes to these busts.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, you can always reach me at mwc@mwctoys.com. If you enjoy this review, take a minute to check out my other site at Michael’s Review of the Week, and let me know what you think. Now on to the review!

Crispy Anakin mini-bust

 

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Packaging – ***1/2
Gentle Giant packaging usually allows you to see the bust before you buy.  That’s always a big plus in my book, especially with high end items.  The boxes are also designed with extremely sturdy interior styrofoam packaging that keeps things nice and safe, and I’ve heard of very few problems with breakage on any GG bust.

GG also includes a Certificate of Authenticity with each bust, although these have gotten tinier as time has gone by.  Eventually, I assume they’ll be postage stamp sized.  They do have the edition number on them, as does the exterior of the box, in case what number you get is important to you.

 

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Sculpting – ***1/2
Another great job by Gentle Giant.  That scanning technology can sometimes be a crutch, and can sometimes be used to produce very realistic looking zombie versions of famous characters.  Other times, it can be used to speed up the start of the sculpting process, and allow the artist to take over to produce an exceptional final product.  The latter is the case here, thankfully.

 

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You have to feel for Anakin seeing his appearance.  He’s been badly burned, almost beyond recognition.   The scarring is extremely well detailed, both on the front and back of the head.  The head might appear a little small at first, but remember, for the mask to be the right size, the head must be closer to this in size.

 

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The body of the bust, the Vader section below the neck, isn’t new to the line. This is the same sculpted body as the earlier released Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader.  It’s a nice sculpt to be sure, but collectors that already have him in the display may be hesitant to fork up another fifty bucks.

Paint – ****
I’ve mentioned this many, many times, but it’s always worth repeating – a great sculpt can be ruined by poor paint, and great paint can bring a mediocre sculpt way up the scale.  In this case, the excellent sculpt is even improved on with the application of paint.

 

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There’s a nice gradiation in the colors of the burnt skin, making it appear very realistic and lifelike.  The head is slightly shiny, with a bit of a gloss finish, but that just seems right for this type of heavily damaged flesh.

The paint ops on the body of the bust are the high quality work you’d expect, considering what we’ve seen with the rest of the line.  There’s no slop, no bleed, and the colors are well cut.  There’s also a nice use of different finishes – from gloss to matte – to imply different materials.

Design/Quality – ***
The use of the previous Vader body does cause some minor issues with the overall appearance and design of the figure.  The lightsaber is held up in front of his face, not a huge deal when he’s masked, but when his face is actually the focus, it is a bit of an issue.  Thankfully, the saber blade is removable, so it can be placed out of the way, but then the position seems a bit odd.  It’s not likely that Vader would hold his hilt in both hands in front of his body quite this way if it wasn’t already lit.

 

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That nit aside, the quality and design are solid.  They did a nice job working with what they had to create a decent exclusive version.

Value – **
Ah, but here’s the rub.  This bust is a full priced bust, and even then some.  At $50, he at full SRP, and generally you can get the regular release busts $8 or so cheaper than that from most dealers.  Everything from the neck down is a reuse, and at 5000 busts he’s not limited in the least.  It’s going to be tough to justify the price tag, and I suspect lots of folks will be waiting to see if these go on sale or are cheaper on Ebay.

Overall – ***
I’m very happy with the head sculpt and paint work.  However, the fact that 80% of this bust comes from another bust, and the odd pose of the hands/saber, hurt the overall score.  At this price, and at a run of 5000, the value really isn’t there.

Still, I’m happy I picked one up.  I’m a sort of completist with the mini-busts (I’m missing the impossible to get Christmas gift releases), and this one will add to the Episode 1 – 3 display.  If you’ve already bought the regular ROTS Vader, you may be less inclined to pick this up, but if you passed on that one, this one gives you all that and more.

 

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Where to Buy:
Since this is an exclusive, your first bet is at the Entertainment Earth website, where he’s $50.

Related Links:
In the statue and bust realm of Gentle Giant, I’ve covered several areas:

– there’s the Star Wars line of mini-busts, including the recent Emperor and Lando. Also in Star Wars, I reviewed the Biker Scout statue, and I ran a guest review of the Darth Vader statue

– under the Harry Potter line, I’ve reviewed the Hungarian Horntail statue, the Snape/Dumbledore set and the Dobby/Dementor set.

 

DVD Late Show: Hot Summer Frights

Filed under: DVD Late Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:23 am

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July 11, 2006

Welcome back to the Late Show. I’ve got another handful of fiendish films for your mid-Summer viewing, including a couple of advance previews of upcoming releases. Still no MASTERS OF HORROR reviews as yet ““ I’m getting to be something of a tease with that series, aren’t I? Anyway, let’s begin”¦

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Dark Sky Films is about to re-issue another fondly-remembered classic, with next month’s Special Edition of the Dan Curtis (DARK SHADOWS) television film TRILOGY OF TERROR (1974), starring Karen Black (FIVE EASY PICES, BURNT OFFERINGS).

Based on three short stories by master fantasist Richard Matheson (TWILIGHT ZONE, THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE) ““ two of which were faithfully adapted for the film by Matheson’s friend William F. Nolan (Logan’s Run) while the maestro himself adapted the third ““ the made-for-television anthology stars the talented Ms. Black in four different roles and was a ratings smash when it aired in 1975.

The first of the three tales, “Julie,” stars Black as an uptight college professor who reluctantly goes out on a date with one of her students, who then drugs her, snaps some incriminating photos, and blackmails her. In “Millicent and Therese,” Black plays two rival sisters ““ a repressed spinster and a sleazy tramp ““ with supernatural secrets.

In the final and most memorable segment, “Amelia,” Black portrays a woman who purchases a “Zuni fetish doll” for her boyfriend as a gift. According to a scroll included with the doll, it embodies the spirit of an ancient hunter, “He Who Kills,” and if the gold chain around it is removed, the doll will come to life. Of course, the chain falls off and the screeching little monster goes postal, chasing Amelia around her upscale apartment, slashing her ankles with its tiny knife. As one might expect from one of the main writers of THE TWILIGHT ZONE, each of the three stories have twist endings.

Black pretty much carries the entire film, and is impressive in all her roles. As it was a Seventies network television program, there’s no gore to speak of, and while the movie’s not particularly scary, it is occasionally creepy, and the final story is still thrilling, giddy fun, despite the simple “special effects” involved.

Dark Sky’s disc presents the movie in its original, full frame 1.33:1 format, with a surprisingly sharp and clear picture that is a noticeable improvement over the earlier release of this title by Anchor Bay. The Dolby mono track is crystal clear. The disc also includes a very good audio commentary track with star Black and screenwriter Nolan. They seem to enjoy each other’s company, and Nolan discusses the changes made from the original short stories to the televised versions. Black goes into great detail about the third story, and the challenges involved in acting alone with a homicidal wooden doll. This Special Edition also includes two on-camera interview segments: one with star Black, and the other with author Richard Matheson, who discusses not only the film at hand, but some of his other collaborations with the late producer/director Dan Curtis.

TRILOGY OF TERROR hits the shelves on August 29, and is recommended for fans of Matheson, Curtis, Black, or old school horror.

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ei Independent Cinema’s latest entry in their Shock-O-Rama horror line is the cleverly-titled SHOCK-O-RAMA (2006), a CREEPSHOW-styled anthology directed by Brett Piper (BITE ME!, THE SCREAMING DEAD).

When bitter scream queen Rebecca Raven (ei starlet Misty Mundae, THE SCREAMING DEAD, SPIDERBABE, in a semi-autobiographical role) is fired by the B-movie studio that employs her, she heads for a quiet house in the country to get away from it all”¦. and battle an angry, flesh-hungry zombie.

Meanwhile, her former employers have discovered that the girl they intended as Raven’s replacement has become unavailable, and they desperately need a leading lady for their new film. They screen a couple of flicks hoping to find a new star, and these films make up two of the three stories in SHOCK-O-RAMA. In “Mechanoid,” a couple of tiny alien criminals land in a New Jersey junkyard and battle the yard’s owner (Rob Monkiewicz, BITE ME!) with a stop-motion, scrap-yard robot. In “Lonely Are the Brain,” beautiful young women in a dream research project are finding their subconscious fantasies manipulated by a sexually voracious female doctor (Julian Wells, DR. JEKYLL & MISTRESS HYDE) and a giant, evil brain from the future.

Completely tongue-in-cheek, SHOCK-O-RAMA is, nonetheless, a great ride, with excellent handcrafted special effects, beautiful girls, a witty script, and some extremely effective low budget visuals, especially during the final story’s dream sequences. Director and FX artist Piper even manages some economical but effective illusions worthy of the great Mario Bava, with ingenious combinations of sets, miniatures, lighting and accomplished camera work. The pace never drags, and the film possesses a sense of humor (especially in the Misty Mundae zombie segment) that’s reminiscent of Sam Raimi’s early work.

ei’s DVD includes a 1.78:1widescreen transfer with anamorphic enhancement, and looks great. The special features include an audio commentary track by writer/director/FX artist Piper and producer Michael Raso, a behind-the-scenes featurette, footage of the film’s NYC premiere, an on-screen Q&A with Piper from the same event, and the ever-growing Shock-O-Rama trailer vault.

Full disclosure: I handled the layout and design of the DVD cover for this ei release, and I’ve been doing package design work for them regularly for some months now. But I can honestly say that I would have recommended this movie even if I hadn’t been involved with it in any way. It’s exactly the kind of imaginative, entertaining exploitation effort that I love, and Piper and the ei crew have done a great job with this, the best Shock-O-Rama release yet.

SHOCK-O-RAMA will be released on September 5th.

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Anchor Bay has recently released the 1981 stalk n’ slash thriller VISITING HOURS, directed by Jean Claude Lord and starring Lee Grant, William Shatner, Linda Purl and Michael Ironside.

In this taut suspense flick, Lee Grant (THE SWARM) is a feminist television journalist who attracts the homicidal attentions of a woman-hating sociopath, chillingly played by Michael Ironside (STARSHIP TROOPERS, SCANNERS). He attacks her in her home, but she manages to barely survive his assault and is taken to a nearby hospital. Unfortunately, the killer is still after her… and the pretty young nurse that she befriends.

Lord’s direction follows more in the tradition of Hitchcock than Carpenter, emphasizing suspense and character over gory attack scenes, and the violence is relatively restrained, especially for the slasher-ific Eighties. That’s not to say that Ironside’s character doesn’t take out a few innocent bystanders in pursuit of his prey, though. The performances of the grown-up cast are uniformly good, with the legendary William Shatner wasted in ““ and forced to underplay ““ the thankless role of Grant’s producer and boyfriend.

Anchor Bay’s presentation of this better-than-average Canadian nail biter includes a very sharp 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. The print shows its age somewhat, but overall it’s more than adequate, with bright, solid colors and good detail. The only extras are a handful of effective TV spots, a radio spot, and trailers for a few other Anchor Bay releases.

VISITING HOURS makes a suspenseful 105 minutes, and is definitely worth a rental, if only for Ironside’s disturbingly convincing portrayal of the psycho.

Next week… either those MASTERS OF HORROR discs… or something else entirely. Tune in and find out!

July 10, 2006

Clerks 2 InAction Short #3

Filed under: Clerks 2 InAction Shorts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 7:19 pm
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The countdown is on to the premiere of Clerks 2 (July 21st, natch) and we’ve got a special series of cyber-nuggets to keep you amped, featuring the plastic alter-egos of everyone’s favorite cast of characters (including a certain writer/director who shall remain nameless).

EPISODE #3: “Are You Kevin Smith?” – An awkward encounter with a well-known filmmaker.

Download here:

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CHECK OUT EPISODE #1: Click Here

CHECK OUT EPISODE #2: Click Here

Clerks 2 InAction is brought to you by Kevin Smith, Jeff Anderson, Brian O’Halloran, Ken Plume, and Zak Knutson & Joey Figueroa of Chop Shop Entertainment. Want to make Randal and Dante obey your every whim? Click here.

Interview: Carlos Alazraqui

Filed under: Interviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:00 am

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-By Ken Plume

alazraqui-20060710-01.jpgWith the 4th season of Reno 911 premiering on Comedy Central, the 3rd season hitting your local DVD emporium, and a major motion picture on the way in the form of Reno 911: Miami, we got a chance to have a nice long chat with the man behind one of Reno’s finest, Carlos Alazraqui, who plays Deputy James Garcia.

Alazraqui is also a standup comedian and an established voiceover artist, starting with Rocko in Rocko’s Modern Life and including the legendary Taco Bell Chihuahua.

Be sure to also swing by his official website at www.CarlosAlazraqui.com

———–

KEN PLUME: I interviewed Tom Lennon last year… a big, massive, career-comprehensive, all his secrets revealed kind of thing…

CARLOS ALAZRAQUI: I don’t have many secrets…

PLUME: In which he revealed that really, you’re his favorite.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah?

PLUME: Sure.

ALAZRAQUI: Why not?

PLUME: Of course he would say that, right?

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: How could he not say that? ‘Cause clearly you’re the audience’s favorite.

ALAZRAQUI: That’s right. It’s unchallenged. That fact is unchallenged.

PLUME: Until it is, it is completely unchallenged.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly. The Earth is round, and I’m everybody’s favorite.

PLUME: You know what? I would put money on it right now.

ALAZRAQUI: Good.

PLUME: Maybe not once challenged, but right now.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly, right now before it’s challenged.

PLUME: Looking over your career, it’s interesting that primarily you’ve done standup and voice work…

ALAZRAQUI: Yes.

PLUME: I’m assuming standup came first…

alazraqui-20060710-02.jpgALAZRAQUI: Standup comedy, yeah. And then in ’92, I was living in San Francisco from ’87 to ’94. In ’92, there was a local audition for a little project called Rocko’s Modern Life. Joe Murray and Nick Jennings, now both working solid in the cartoon industry. I auditioned for Rocko’s Modern Life and got it.

PLUME: And became Rocko…

ALAZRAQUI: And became Rocko.

PLUME: What was it initially about standup comedy that drew you in?

ALAZRAQUI: Um, I think just the attention, you know, and thinking I could be famous and big and attract women and all those kinda things. It wasn’t necessarily that I would transition to anything worthwhile per se, but then, there was a possibility of sitcoms and all those sort of things, and making money while not having a real job….

PLUME: This is during the late 80s comedy boom…

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. It was pretty fascinating in San Francisco – just a wealth of talent, you know? You had Tom Kenny and Warren Thomas and Rob Schneider and Chris Titus and Michael Prichard. and Robin Williams would drop in every once in a while, and you had Paula Poundstone, Marsha Warfield and… all these people. It was amazing.

PLUME: At that point in time in San Francisco, what was the club scene like?

ALAZRAQUI: It was amazing. It was at its pinnacle in 1989. We had five clubs going. We had the Holy City Zoo, the Other Café, the Punch Line, the Improv, and Cobbs.

PLUME: I’m assuming that it was practically straight out of school that you started.

ALAZRAQUI: In college, actually. I started in Sacramento State. I was doing a little standup there. I did some mime with the teacher, and I got in a comedy duo at a place called the Metro Bar and Grill. Worked on that for about a year. Then I did some hosting at Laughs Unlimited. And then in ’87 I decided to move to San Francisco.

PLUME: So what was the duo act like?

ALAZRAQUI: It was fun. It was a lot of stupid sketches. We did William F. Buckley interviewing Floyd the Barber from the Andy Griffith Show on Central American policy.

PLUME: And which one did you play?

ALAZRAQUI: I played Floyd the Barber. We did Nixon talking to a gorilla at the zoo. We did Ronald Reagan getting pulled over for a speeding ticket by Jimmy Carter. You know, at that time it was the mid 80s… you know, ’85. It was very SNL-like. One of our favorite bits was singing “White Christmas” by Devo. Put bowls on our heads and fake glasses and did this little “White Christmas” parody. And so we just did a bunch of little, quick little sketches.

PLUME: I have to know – was your Floyd the Barber based on the original Floyd, or Eugene Levy doing Floyd the Barber?

ALAZRAQUI: It was based on the original. Even though I was a huge SCTV fan, it was still based on the original from the show.

PLUME: So does any footage exist of any of these shows?

ALAZRAQUI: I might have a video or two somewhere. It does still exist.

PLUME: When was the last time you actually looked at them?

ALAZRAQUI: Oh, probably six, eight years ago or something.

PLUME: So looking back at those videos and those performances, how would you view the performer you were then?

ALAZRAQUI: Amateurish. But fun. Lotta energy. “This kid’s got a lot of energy.” Very green. But good energy.

PLUME: What was your confidence level like at that time?

ALAZRAQUI: Pretty good, because I’m fairly athletic. I played soccer and I ran track and, you know, I had a cute girlfriend… so I was pretty confident. Although not confident to be on my own, so I liked being in a duo.

PLUME: At what point did you realize the duo was something you’d moved beyond?

ALAZRAQUI: I think around ’86, when I got a chance to be in this comedy competition by myself, because my partner didn’t like the owner of the club and I was doing pretty well. And that’s the point I realized, like, “Yeah, I could probably go farther on my own.” ‘Cause my work ethic was a little stronger at that time.

PLUME: Did you get the feeling that it was more of a hobby to him?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. At the time. Didn’t have the drive, I thought.

PLUME: And where is he now?

ALAZRAQUI: I don’t know. Mark Frazee. Very talented guy. Played music and really just a cool guy and, I don’t know. I think he’s travelin’ elsewhere to maybe be creative in different ways and maybe be a parent, at that time, and pursue that kind of… life.

PLUME: So this is like the third partner that Penn & Teller had in the early 80s.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: How big a decision was it for you to actually make the move up to San Francisco?

ALAZRAQUI: It was big. It was my friend and I, John Boyle. We were the first pioneers from Sacramento to move to San Francisco. I think we led a wave after that. People knew that you could do it, you know? And it was big. It was February of ’87, and I had gone into the city to visit a friend, and fell in love with it. Even though I used to go as a kid all the time. And having him go with me was great. We lived in this little converted garage apartment, and it was just dark and dank and moldy all the time, and it was probably 700 square feet. Two people in one separate room with a small moldy bathroom and about two cabinets and a kitchenette.

PLUME: So you really felt like a performer at that point.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah. We had a Russian landlord named Boris. It was awesome, man.

PLUME: See, that’s the kind of things that inform and forge a performer.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, and I was working at two different health clubs at the time, ’cause my major was in recreation administration. I had worked in a health club and done my internships there. So I was working behind the sports desk and teaching Nautilus, so I’d ride by bike across Golden Gate Park and teach there on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Monday/Wednesday/Fridays I’d work the sports desk at Telegraph Hill Club. Which is a really nice health club.

PLUME: How much actual performance time would you be able to fit into that schedule?

ALAZRAQUI: Five days a week. ‘Cause I’d do that in the morning, take naps in the afternoon, and go out at night.

PLUME: How would you describe your act at that point?

ALAZRAQUI: Getting better, you know? ‘Cause I was emulating all the San Francisco acts that I was watching at the time, so it was getting better and more clever, because the San Francisco scene demanded it.

PLUME: What would the act actually consist of? Was it more observational, was it character-based, or…

ALAZRAQUI: Character-based. I remember doing Larry Bud Melman singing “I’m So Excited” by the Pointer Sisters, when Larry Bud Melman was big.

PLUME: Oh come on, when did he ever stop being big?

ALAZRAQUI: True.

PLUME: What were the audiences like at that point? Because obviously the comedy boom was going strong at that time, and a lot of people really hadn’t been exposed to standup, and particularly that sort of unique brand of standup that wasn’t just joke telling.

ALAZRAQUI: The audience was collected, very discerning. They could be tough if you were at the Holy City Zoo. Unforgiving. If you weren’t clever enough, you know? So they were good, but hard sometimes.

PLUME: Were there any times that they actually rocked your confidence?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah… yeah. The thing to do in San Francisco was to perform at the Other Café or out of town in Napa, or in Walnut Creek and feel good, and then go to the Holy City Zoo and do your second set that night and get shot down to earth again. ‘Cause it’s this teeny little pub with just wine and beer, it’s where Robin Williams was the legend, and it sat about 80 people, and it’s mostly comics and people off the street, and so it was a hard, hard room to do. You couldn’t be bigger than the room. So you’re stuff some times would not fly at the Zoo.

PLUME: Is there anything that you still regret didn’t fly, or did you eventually get everything to work out in some way?

ALAZRAQUI: Nah, but the things that didn’t fly I don’t regret ’cause it made me stronger. A better comedian, I think.

PLUME: How caustic would the audience get? Were they a rowdy audience, or sort of apathetic…

ALAZRAQUI: The silence was bad. It’s like “mmmmmm”… or comics talking. You know? So it was not the rowdiness, it was the lack of noise from the audience that frightened me more.

PLUME: So, really, an apathetic response was more terrifying and demoralizing.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: Every comedy scene seems to have one – who was the comic that everyone looked up to as the one that was gonna rocket out of the scene?

ALAZRAQUI: Gosh, you know, we all thought Tom Kenny at the time… Warren Thomas was brilliant. Jeremy Kramer. Rob Schneider a little bit…

PLUME: That was a year or two before he was snatched for SNL, wasn’t it?

ALAZRAQUI: Yes. Dana Gould, we thought was brilliant. Dana writes for The Simpsons now.

PLUME: Was there any point where you actually considered a different path? Or was it once you had actually gotten into that world, that was the only thing you were gonna continue to pursue?

ALAZRAQUI: That was something I was gonna continue to pursue.

PLUME: Was there any point that you felt like walking away?

ALAZRAQUI: I think doing some of those first road gigs. When you’re an emcee on the road and making no money, and people love the other acts more and you’re lonely. There were times like that, like in Albuquerque, when I was sleeping on a couch and spending more than I was making.

PLUME: And who’s couch was it, the manager’s? Is that one of those comedy flop houses that Bill Maher described?

ALAZRAQUI: As it were, yeah. All the other acts would come over and smoke pot or get high, and I was totally clean, maybe a drink or two, and I’d have bronchitis with no health plan so I’d have to wait ’til I worked in San Diego and go across the border to get arithromiacin I knew what I needed – I just couldn’t afford a doctor.

PLUME: How wonderful.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah.

PLUME: And I know the feeling. As a freelance writer, I know the feeling.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah.

PLUME: There must have also been that kind of feeling towards the early 90s, when the scene started drying up.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. Yeah, because there were fewer clubs, the competition was greater. So you really had to do well and there was a lot more pressure.

PLUME: How much of a break, then, was Rocko?

ALAZRAQUI: Incredible. You know? Just that I could somehow break into this world and make money doing this. It was fantastic.

PLUME: Now was that the first time you had actually done voice work?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, pretty much.

PLUME: So it was really just hitting the ball out of the park on the first up to bat.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. Luck.

PLUME: What was the learning curve for you going into a studio for the first time?

ALAZRAQUI: Um, pretty severe. I was working with – you know, it was Tom Kenny’s first cartoon, but we were working with Charlie Adler, who’s now a really big director, and he was an amazing voiceover guy at the time, and he was just awesome. So I learned from him really quickly, and watching Tom and the other actors that we had. So that was a real fun, organic experience, Rocko’s Modern Life, and actually Joe Murray and Mark O’Hare and Tom Kenny and I and Doug Lawrence, from Rocko, are now working on Camp Lazlo on Cartoon Network.

PLUME: And you can definitely feel the same vibe to that.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, we know each other so well. Rocko‘s very special. I learned a lot very quickly.

PLUME: And you also have a writing credit on Rocko, right?

ALAZRAQUI: Uh, I may have a small writing credit for a bowling episode we did.

Spook’d #85: Extreme Lair Makeover – The Design Team

Filed under: Spook'd — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:50 am

-by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger sized comic

Spook'd #85: Extreme Lair Makeover - The Design Team

To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

Check out the preview to…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES

Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

Party Favors: Skanklee

Filed under: Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:24 am

 

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PARIS – I show up in France with a bicycle and a Skippy jar filled to the brim with clean urine sample and those bums still won’t let me try to become Lance Jr. They know that once my golden jar goes through the chemistry set, I get the yellow jersey – no matter how many months it takes me to ride around their country. Are there any pro bikers that aren’t on the juice? 

Have we reached a part where the next big sport should be called “Who Can Pee Clean?” Forget actual contests, just line up a group of guys to see who can test the cleanest. Isn’t that all the Olympics is about now? Not who is the best, but who has the least amount of rumors about them juicing before the contests? Or having their blood swapped with Keith Richards?

And what’s up with the head of the World Anti-Doping Agency being named Dick Pound? Isn’t this a case of bragging? If it really weighs a pound, why doesn’t he make real money in the world of porn? And how exactly did a guy who never even won a stinking bronze medal as part of the Canadian swim team in 1960 (when the Olympics allowed water wings) get to be the big mouth in charge of taking the piss out of sports? He’s already a suspect in my book – a Canadian swimmer? How long is water liquid in the Great White North? If you’re in Canada and below the water line, you’ve drowned beneath the ice. Why wasn’t Dick Pound a hockey superstar? Couldn’t find a jock that holds sixteen ounces? If he wants to clean up sports, he really should clean up his name. I think it’s foul how he expects the world to respect a name that Bart Simpson would use to crank call Moe. Was Dick’s wife’s maiden name Plenty O’Toole? (Yes, it’s a James Bond joke).

And who is the head of the World Doping Agency? Or has someone already hired the former coaches of the East German women’s swim team?

ALBUM OF 2006 SO FAR

The winner is Guns ‘N Roses’ Chinese Democracy. Sure it hasn’t come out, but that didn’t stop me from hearing a few rough mixes thanks to various means.  I’ve become obsessed with the leaked tracks over the last few months. Damn shame if at least one action flick doesn’t use “There Was a Time” on the soundtrack. Sure this band is actually just the Axl Rose Show, but there’s no money in selling those t-shirts. When will this record finally come out? Give us the full sound of “Better,” Axl! There’s more layers to these songs. It’s got the same hypnotic quality of Sonic Youth’s Daydream Nation. This is a sonic tapestry that might actually come close to giving a proper snapshot of 21st Century living – the disconnect from the harsh realities. That somehow were supposed to be at war yet we only feel a battle every week when we hit the gas pumps. The desire to surrender privacy to embrace foolish stardom. To consider ourselves artists while allowing corporate goofballs first edit on alleged genius.

Axl is our last hope unless he sells out and lets VH1 make a reality show about him.

WE NEED MORE RIBBON

After catching his act on The Today Show, Tony Orlando is now a candidate for Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. I’m guessing that all that home cooking in Branson, has caught up with the man. He won’t be revisiting his polyester leisure suit collection anytime soon. He might as well get that yellow ribbon tied around the Old Country Buffet. I predict that soon we’ll see Ant jabbering with the man who once ruled Dawn.

SEAL THE BORDERS

America’s Got Talent is the work of Satan. It rips off the “Come on down!” moment from Price is Right. It out right steals the three barely celebrity judges and bad acts from The Gong Show. And it robs America of it’s dignity. Satan must have had a hand in having Simon Cowell produce a show that’s hosted by Regis Philbin and judged by David Hasselhoff. Can’t this trio take a night off and leave the entertaining to someone else?  The second judge is Brandy. I despise this woman who annoyingly flaunted her wonderful marriage and upcoming baby on MTV’s Brandy: Special Delivery.  And then when the show ended, she dumped her husband. The highlight of her career – when Allan Havey made her cry during an episode of Punk’d.

What really makes me hate this show is Piers Morgan. Who is this British Boob? Why did Simon Cowell have to import his mini-me? Forget people being smuggled in from Mexico to take work away from us. Why did INS allow Piers to earn a paycheck in our country? Enough with importing English pricks for reality TV.  I thought there were laws at immigration that makes you have to prove that an American can’t do a job before you can import an employee. Am I supposed to believe that there’s not a single American capable of watching bad talent and pressing a buzzer to light up a big X? Can’t retired NASA chimps do this job?

Is there a shortage of American pricks? If so, why do I seem to find them clustered at comic book stores every saturday morning? Why did we allow Simon Cowell to import a disgraced English newspaper hack to sit in judgement of ourselves? Do I need to remind you that 200 plus years ago we rose up against a pack of English jerks that judged us? We ran those limey bastards out of this country. And now we’re putting them on TV and want to make cult figures out of them. America’s talent must not involve detecting frauds like Piers. I don’t have a problem with too many English people including Diana Rigg, Benny Hill and the guys in Monty Python. But they wanted to entertain us – not be gate keepers to our culture.

Rise up, America. Let’s put an end to this English occupation of Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and their ilk. Do you think Patrick Henry would be turn on America’s  Got Talent? Enough with this Red Coat TV.

ENOUGH CLOWN TIME FOR DAVID

NBC needs to quit dragging David Gregory up to New York City to host the Today Show. The man is the only active pit bull in the White House press room. And when he’s called up to fill in for Matt Laurer, we’re stuck with a horde of lapdogs that send Tony Snow love letter that would make Jeff Gannon blush.

Remember when serious newsmen were serious in what they covered? Sure they might have had to do stupid on camera gigs on their way up the ladder. But once they reached a top network gig, they didn’t have to demean themselves for a sweeps week stunt. Now here’s NBC forcing their main man in the White House to do dofus cooking segments when Matt Lauer is on vacation. Why must NBC embarrass Gregory so when he returns to D.C., he can be cheerfully cut down with chuckles and quips from the president about why Gregory isn’t interviewing the farmer who grew the world’s largest watermelon.

Or maybe I’m wrong in thinking that NBC news isn’t beneath making their talent turn into circus clown.

TOPPLED OVER

Am I really watching The World Domino Tournament on ESPN2? Dominos on ESPN? This is a continuing show and not a segment with Kenny Mayne goofing off around the guys. When is EPSN going to give us the Monopoly championship? How about Rook? Operation would be good, but only under the Higgins Boys and Gruber rules – instead of D cell batteries, it’s 2 car batteries attached to the patient. Your nose will go red, too.

There’s only one sport I want to see on ESPN – competitive lesbianism. I know it’s a judged sport, but it’s very visual and looks good in slo-mo.

GOLLY, IT’S DUKE!

With the success of Robert Pine, cameo superstar, it’s time to pay tribute to Ronnie Schell. You would remember him best as Private Duke Slater on Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. But Ronnie show to become a continual presence as a guest acting legend.  Oddly enough, he’s yet to appear on any version of C.S.I. and Law and Order.

VICE SLOPS

Ten Reasons Why this new Miami Vice film doesn’t work for me:

10. Colin Farrell’s hair. What exactly was Michael Mann doing when he approved the semi-mullet?

9. Lack of cameo from Michael Talbott! How can they make the film without a visit from Det. Switek?

8. Where’s the pastel? The trailer is so dreary. Was the wardrobe mistress getting her clothes from the goth shop?

7. Uptight ain’t right. There’s no give and go between the Crockett and Tubbs at any point in the trailer. Every character looks as uptight as Lt. Castillo. Every one looks like they’re acting tough by holding back a fart.

6. Where’s Brad and Will? When Mann was first casting the film, the rumor was that Brad Pitt and Will Smith wanted the roles. Those two would have been able to bring their Se7en and Bad Boys background to the tip of Florida. People want to see them talking crap to each other. Has anyone pondered a tag team of Colin and Jamie Foxx?

5. It’s shot on video. Sure it’s the VIPER FilmStream camera. But it’s still just “Big TV” and not cinema.

4. Jamie Foxx’s performance. Has any Oscar winner ever been compared to Philip Michael Thomas?

3. No score from Jan Hammer.

2. Where’s Saundra Santiago?

1. Where the hell is season 3 of the TV show? How can Universal not keep putting out the original Vice love?

For all I know, this is a really good film. But so many of the elements that made Miami Vice a series better than Booker have been chucked out the window. What’s the point in calling it Miami Vice?

SQUID LOVE

Fourteen new episodes of Squidbillies are in production. This will be the first cartoon to win a Noble prize. The first six Squidbillies go up there with the first batch of Ren and Stimpy cartoons. I wish I had more respect for John K, but the man hasn’t been able to entertain me in nearly 15 years. He gets so high and mighty – especially when worshipping Bob Clampett that you think John K didn’t create The Ripping Friends. Hopefully the folks behind Squidbillies won’t crap out on us.

And does anyone know why Charles Napier doesn’t get real credit for voicing the sheriff on Squidbillies? And when is he going to get a lifetime achievement award from some entertainment group?

SKANKLEE

Supposedly Playboy magazine offered Ashlee Simpson $4 million to pose nude. What? Maybe that’s Hong Kong dollars. Who wants to see this skank for $4 million when in a few more months, she’ll be begging for a deal making Vivid Videos.

The creepy element has to be that Joe Simpson is somehow involved in this rumor. How many fathers like to brag while shopping at Wal-Mart that Playboy wants his daughter naked for the fat dollars? Then again, what’s the point of her getting the new face and body without showing it off?

The only way Ashlee would be worth the money is if she ends up posing for the guys who take the pics for those water bondage sites.  As it is right now, I bet there’s four million people willing to send a dollar to Playboy so they can burn the photos before they tear into our retinas.

NOT SWITCHED AT BIRTH

How exactly is Eric Wareheim not related to Brian Posehn? Brian has appeared on Tom Goes to the Mayor so I know they aren’t the same person.

BAKED IN THE BOXES

What’s the point of afternoon baseball during the work week? Do people really want to skip work to see the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Nothing like spending the hottest part of the day sweating in the stands and paying $50 for the sizzling seat. Not to mention the $10 beers to keep you cool. When you’re faking sick, why do you want to risk heat stroke? Cause your boss is going to know you’re a liar when you show up as red as lobster.

RATE THE NEW KIDS

The Surreal Life 7 cast has been announced and it has the potential to be one that I might watch before they have the marathon weekend.

Randy Savage (WWF wrestler and Slim Jim spokesman) – Wonder how bitter he’ll be that VH1 makes him share a show with these folks while the Hulkster runs wild! Bet he’s going to talk about his rap career.

Lita Ford (Metal Guitar Goddess) – While not a friend of her music, I do remember soloing to her videos.

Phil Hellmuth Jr (poker player) – I’m looking forward to seeing the biggest dick in cards try to exist around people. I still remember that big game that Annie Duke played his ass hard.

Carrot Top (comic genius) – How many trunks will he get to move into the house? Has anyone tested this man’s urine for roids?

Tina Jordan (former Playboy Playmate) – One of Hef’s discards attempts to get her some Girls Next Door action. I used to enjoy her visits to Howard Stern’s E! show. Wonder if she’ll get naked for the pool or turn out to be the prude tease.

Niki McKibbin (American Idol season 1) – Who? How did this person get the week off from working at Dennys?

Bushwick Bill (Rapper from the Geto Boys) – I thought this guy was dead. I swear there was a report of his death on one of those dead rapper shows. He was the little person in the badass group. Are they sure he’s not dead?

Chris Wink (blue man group) – Will he have to wear the blue make up for the whole show? Watch out at breakfast. i’ve seen what he’s done to a box of Cap’n Crunch.

Tanya Roberts (Actress) – Her “Las Vegas calling” ads sound like bomb threats.

Dabney Coleman (Actor) – My pick for the house member most likely to go nuts and strangle the Blue Man Group guy.
 

Preachin’ from the Longbox: Failure to Launch

Filed under: Preaching from the Longbox — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:07 am

 

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This week’s sermon – “Failure to Launch”

07/10/06 

Greetings, my fellow readers of the sequential arts. 

This column may not speak directly to you but I humbly request that you, the reader, will come along for a ride as I’ve decided to offer some topical insight into the whole comic book business. 

So, let me just start with a few questions: 

Have you ever felt despondent when a comic book publisher announces that they’ve decided to cancel your favorite title due to lack of sales?

Or, have you felt angry when a comic book that your store has devoted time and energy into developing a loyal and buying readership only to see said title get the figurative axe?

Or, is your name Dan Slott, who has given both DC and Marvel such money titles like Arkham Asylum: Living Hell and She-Hulk only to see the same companies kill such winners like Manhunter and The Thing, respectively?

Believe me when I say that I understand your collective pain.  Ya see, I’ve got something that should resolve all of those problems.  Yes, even yours, Dan.  But, before I unveil my intellectual creation, I want to explain the events that lead up to this point where I can offer anyone (yes, even you out there in the teeming Blogville universe) the methods to apply my simple techniques into a big-time winning comic book publisher.  Dying to know, aren’t ya?

It all began a couple of weeks ago when a couple of questions started to kick around in my expansive cranium.  I had just heard about the cancellation of one of my regular monthly titles.  The question was – Why couldn’t this title garner enough readers in order to avoid meeting the business end of the bean counter’s executioner’s blade?  Can all of the blame rest at the creators’ collective feet?  Or were there other factors involved that led to a seemingly good title’s demise?  To me, questions like these cry out to be answered so other generations of quality books can avoid the same fate. 

Like I stated above, the mitigating factor in the increasing cancellation rate of comic books are based on the lack of units sold.  Due to the boom/bust of the early 90s, most comic companies don’t have the luxury of letting a low-selling title gain a big cult following over a sustained length of time anymore.  If you can’t pull the minimum number of units every month (otherwise known as the Chuck Austen Line), your run will be shorter than Johnny Fairplay’s stay on Fear Factor – Reality TV All-Stars.  As the saying goes, it’s not personal; bidnez is just that – bidnez.  

(To tell you the truth, the last book that I can even remember that grew an grass-roots audience was “Powers”.  And even then that book had a ton of things going its way like it was part of Image’s foray back into super-hero comics, the fact that it was heavily acclaimed by the critics and since it was Brian Michael Bendis’ first consequential Big Three book, he plugged the hell out of it.  Really, if he’s like publicity gold for comic books.  No joke; the man is a PR company’s wet dream.) 

Back to the hard sell.  So, what can be done to save these well-liked but never bought comics, you ask?  Well, I’m glad you did.  

This column is being used as a springboard for my patent-pending production model that will revolutionize comic book publishing as we know it (as well as make me into an infomercial force on late night TV).   

It’s called the Trifecta Paradigm System (copyright also pending) and it goes a little something like this.  

There are three major players in making a good comic book into a successful and profitable product – the publisher, the distributor, and the retail/hobby shop owners.  All three parts need to work in concert in order to gain financial freedom. And with the purchase of the Trifecta Paradigm System (or TPS), they can make money hand over fist time and time again without fail. 

Now, I hear all of the doubters out there now saying things like: 

“Doesn’t this sound too good to be true?”Â 
“How can you promise something like this?”
“This guy is so full of it!”Â 

My answers to those questions would be as follows:

“Sure.”
“I’m like Fed-Ex, my man.  I’m not just promising; I’m delivering world-wide.”
“Why do you think that my initials are BS?”Â 

For those others that are still interested, I’ll give you a little taste for free but like your neighborhood drug dealers (or AOL/MSN service providers), the rest is gonna cost you. 

For example, one of the cogs in the comic book machine is the publisher.  Their job is to make the book as cheap as possible while not sacrificing the quality of the book.  However, if the publisher wants to keep their bottom line on production low, why are so many of them making more than one cover?  Variant covers are one of the biggest money pits/scams that is being perpetuated today.  Not only does the publisher have to put out additional bills for the printing and packaging of the different cover, there’s the cost for the cover artists.  Not to mention the possible extra cost of handling said variant differently than the “regular” comics.  Sure, an argument can be made for the scarcity of the books making the book in demand.  However, that is just and artificial attempt in making the book seem “buzz”-worthy.  And just like any product that gives you an artificial buzz, the impending crash can be devastating.  (Being in more meetings that humanly possible, I’ve been on both sides of that mid-morning sugar crash ““ not fun.) 

Another job that is the responsibility of the publisher is the number of units produced.  Sure, the initial cost for printing a comic book is relatively high but why must publishers short their print run?  Printing an additional 20K-30K can be had at a very discounted price so the only reason is that it is just another method of creating an artificial “buzz” on a book due to its limited availability.  Again, most readers will see through that bull crap and playing tricks on your readers won’t make them your readers for much longer. 

So, how can you show these companies, some who are mega-billion dollar corporations with their Harvard-educated presidents of Publishing, the proper and most profitable method of making comic books.  Well, that’s relatively easy.  All you have to do is”¦Â 

Now, do you want to read more of this valuable insight from one of the leading minds in comic book excellence?  Before you ask the price, here’s what you get: 

  • A five-CD detailing each of the three parts of the Trifecta Paradigm System
  • A 100-page workbook to help determine where you, the reader, fit into the TPS
  • A 30-minute phone card with a personal number for yours truly; consider it a personal counseling session with the Preacher hisself
  • An 8″x10″ autographed Glamour Shot of the Preacher suitable for framing
  • The official TPS diagram that reducing all of the knowledge gleamed from the materials into a simple and easy-to-follow diagram

Now, how much would you pay?  $500?  $400?

Since you are a loyal reader of Preachin’ from the Longbox, I’m prepared to offer you this wonderful package of comic book business knowledge for three easy payments of $99 pkus $14.50 Shipping and Handling.

But this offer is only good for the next 15 minutes after reading this column.  Don’t delay; act NOW!

Or you will continue see books that you love go the editorial chopping block and they won’t come back, people.  It’s either that or you can do the unthinkable ““ tell everyone that you know (and even some people that you don’t) about these books that are really perfect examples of how wonderful the comic book medium really is.  And then, just maybe only then, will books like “The Thing” avoid the possibility of becoming the comic books’ next version of Marie Antoinette.  

The PftL Mailbox
 

PftL lifer Eddie C writes: 

“Glad to see your back on the new site. I was worried for a moment that the column was discontinued. Anyway, what happened to the ’email the author’ links at the end of the columns? It was a lot easier, but I’m not complaining.”
 
PftL:  That should be taken care of by this column but thanks for keeping me in your address book. 

“Based on your review of ‘The Batman,’ I think I’ll give it another chance. Only saw a couple episodes from the first season, but I wasn’t too impressed. Didn’t like their version of The Joker at all. He seemed too different from any previous incarnation of The Joker I’d gotten use too (especially B:TAS, but I wasn’t trying to compare it solely to that). Just seemed inconsistent with any other version of the Joker (comics, TV) I ever liked.” 

PftL:  I think that’s the one thing that drew me to the series.  Joker is a wacked-out nutjob.  So, why does he always have to be so nattily attired in a green and purple suit?  Other characters can be redesigned like Scarecrow, Catwoman ““ hell even Robin without a major upheaval by the comic community, so why not Clown Prince of Crime?  Plus he’s supposed to be crazy and if you ever see that one weird smelly guy in the street who talks to himself about his new alien masters, he probably doesn’t have shoes either.
 
“Also, didn’t Bane turn out to be his friend from the police force (voiced by ‘Practice’ actor Steve Harris, can’t remember the character’s name) or did I miss something. Is that how it happened in the comic or was that way off?” 

PftL: Actually that was the Clayface character and again, I like the origin change as well as making it a different person than the comics since it added some pathos to the villain plus gave a Batman more of a personal attachment to his crusade.
 
“Anyway, the stories weren’t too bad (I saw an interesting Catwoman episode, although the plot was all-too familiar) and I’m not against the idea of seeing a different version of Batman. I mean, hey, isn’t that what Frank Miller gave us in his stories and what we saw in the new (and much improved) “Batman Begins” (which of course was inspired in part by Miller’s Year One story). When you think about it, the character has changed so much over the years, so there really is no definitive version of Batman. Different writers and artists bring something new to the character, interpreting him in their own way (well, the good ones at least). That’s what keeps these characters so fresh over so many years. You have to bring something new to the character, while adhering to what’s come before. That is part and parcel to comics, so any true comic fan looking at ‘The Batman’ shouldn’t expect a retread of B:TAS. I agree, they should keep their minds open at least. There are writers who come and go on comic books and some have a deep impact on the character, but you don’t stop reading the book when your favorite writer leaves, do you? Well maybe, but eventually you come back if you like the character enough.” 

PftL: You’re right about the ebb and flow of the superfluous stuff around a character.  I guess that I don’t understand how some readers are so determine to hate something just because it is different that either their expectations or what they consider is the definitive ideal of the character.  Hell, the original Bat-Man used a gun and wore purple gloves.  Sometimes change can be good.  The problem comes, like in any character alive or fictional, when personal growth or development is stunted or shunned.  Then, everything becomes stale.  And that’s boring.

“The Batman’s biggest mistake I suppose was arriving too quickly on the heels of what was probably the best adaptation of Batman ever in animated form. Maybe they should have waited a little. (Just kidding).”

PftL:  I can see that but shockingly enough, the series came out before the movie.  Hey. Was that a jab at me?  Or am I becoming paranoid?  Thanks for the email, Eddie. 

And if you want to be like Eddie and receive word from high upon the Longbox of Wisdom, click the name at the end of the column and send that email.  It won’t hurt and more than likely, you’ll see your email plus whatever I have say (like you care about that) on this here space in future week’s editions.  C’mon, what ‘cha waiting for? 

The One Comic To Keep Your Eye On

Before I start with this one book, I want to offer this disclaimer.  Usually, I don’t offer reviews here on the Quick Stop Entertainment Network for two reasons: 

  • My grasp of the English language is suspect, at best (at least that’s what my Doctor of Rhetorical English brother tells me)
  • And I find that I usually gravitate to books that I like and ignore ones that I don’t (like any book where Rob Liefeld pulls a double-shift since it’s like shooting drunk fish in a fish bowl with a shotgun full of buckshot). 

Now, here’s a PftL review:

 

Emily Edison Cover

 

Emily Edison (Viper Comics)
Writer: David Hopkins
Artist: Brock Rizy
Foreword by Dave Crosland
143 pages; Color, $12.95
All-Ages 

Now this book was not what I expected.  And that’s a good thing.  Emily Edison is a teenaged girl who is joint custody of a poor Earth appliance repairman/inventor and a Royal superwoman from a different plane of existence.  Okay that’s not too weird.  Oh, yeah, her maternal grandfather keeps sending robots over to Earth to conquer it in order for his granddaughter to come back to his world.  Now, that’s something different.  

Hopkins does a good job of conveying the dilemma of Emily and handles the direction of the book’s plot quite nicely.  The dialogue is not forced and Emily, along with most of her supporting cast, are well developed (except for her dad, who does get kind of the shaft as far as character development but that’s a minor setback). 

Rizy’s art has some decent energy within the panels and his influences from Crosland to Mahfood to Morse are very prevalent but his artwork never crosses the line into aping.  The color palette adds some extra funkiness to the scenes and the layout is never too busy or distracts for the action at hand. 

Conceptually, the book is also divided into four chapters, which makes for natural breaks in the action.  And speaking of action, this book is nothing but just that.  Emily Edison is just like a younger Magnus.  She knows how to fight robots and nothing is better than seeing a robot bent on bad things get crushed like an aluminum beer can by a super-powered teenager. 

Emily Edison doesn’t require knowing a ton full of continuity and just throws you right in the action, which makes for a enjoyable read and a head a many of the books already out there now.  Reading the book is almost like going to a matinee to see an animated summertime popcorn movie.  It’s a fun, solid read.  

My only request ““ I want to see a prequel of how the dad and mom got together in the first place.  I’m picturing a cross between Flash Gordon and Adam Strange.  So, David and Brock, get to work.  Bring on the Prequel!

That’s it.  I’m off the Longbox this week.  Thanks for reading.  And don’t forget, guys and gals.  Keep your bags & boards together and your continuity straight.

-britt

* All claims here within are used only for satirical purposes.  The author will not be held accountable if funds are transferred to his PayPal account without any product delivered. * 

Widge Goes Off #3: The Kitchen Pantry of No Return!

Filed under: Widge Goes Off — widge @ 3:01 am
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Welcome back. We have assembled here for fnord purposes that we cannot speak, lest the tin foil hats we wear malfunction and cause our words to be overheard. Therefore, I shall point you to the Podcast.

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has been known to cause disorientation as well as disoccidentation.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (41.9 MBs)

widgepic.jpgThat’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

As for Pirates and Superman, we cover that in the podcast, really. But I’ll just say this here: LMAO. Now, if you want some other commentary on Hollywood and their hit-and-miss love affair with blockbusters, check out Chris Anderson’s Long Tail.

Devil Wears Prada dropped less than fifty percent and was making more per screen than Superman, and will break even by next weekend. Good on Fox for smart planning.

Click has a ways to go before it breaks even, though it broke $100 million. Again, it’s an Adam Sandler film. When he can no longer afford to keep Rob Schneider employed, then you should worry.

Cars will break even over the next two weeks. Has anyone been to EPCOT and seen if they’ve changed the NASCAR ride at all to tie in with this?

Nacho Libre is making profit now, as I said last week. I’m still wondering how it will play south of here, honestly. And I’m terrified at how many Halloween costume ideas it’s spawned.

Lake House and Fast and the Furious 3 are still on the top ten because sometimes the movies above them sell out.

Waist Deep is no doubt turning a profit because it was done on the cheap as mentioned before. It’s also still doing decent per screen takes for the bottom five.

The Break-Up–finally with #10 we come to something that’s turning a good profit. With everything else we’re still waiting for it to build up money in the black or the stuff has a long way to go. So take that for whatever it’s worth.

Join us next time for when we’ll discuss Pirates 2 again, since I doubt anything will rise up to challenge it.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

July 7, 2006

Melonpool Quickcast #3: Ralph Strikes Back!

Filed under: Melonpool Quickcast — admin @ 5:09 pm
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-By Steve Troop

Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

In a flashback from the 2002 San Diego Comic-Con, Ralph Zinobop interviews some rather familiar-looking Star Wars fans…

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Melonpool Quickcast #3: Ralph Strikes Back!:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 25MB)
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  • YouTube

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #11: Evil, Evil Visions

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:48 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #11: Evil, Evil Visions – The subject matter of this week’s Ken P. D. Snydecast leaves Ken with but one thought…”Why?”

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #11 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-11.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Trailer Park: Your Friendly Neighborhood ‘Geek’… ‘Fanboy’

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 4:34 am

 

 

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

What a difference two weeks can make here at the Trailer Park.

A couple of weeks ago I was name-dropped and put in The Hollywood Reporter’s coverage of The 35th annual Key Art Awards. It was such a delightful and satisfying thing to be recognized in one’s chosen field of media expertise that I was asked to judge the trailer competition alongside notables as, “the Reporter’s Kirk Honeycutt and Anne Thompson, the Los Angeles Times’ Kenneth Turan, Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Gleiberman and Lisa Schwarzbaum, the Washington Post’s Desson Thomson, AdWeek’s Gregory Solman,” and, “the Associated Press’ Gary Gentile.” It’s one of those little things in life where if you do something because you love and have passion for it there is something intrinsically validating about an external nod of affirmation to keep on doing what you believe you can do well. I’m here because I can’t imagine not writing something new every week of my life and because I want to see this site to become more than just a footnote in the vast history of the Internets. There is talent here brimming from all sides and it feels good to know that the site gets recognized along with me. I’m not a huge believer in all that corporate claptrap about no one being more important than the whole but I believe it here. So suck it, haters.

Along with that mention from the Reporter I was interviewed for a good 15-20 minutes last week with a reporter from The Washington Post on an article they were creating about movie trailers in general. (Yes, you have to register to read it but try this “authentic” NAME and PASSWORD: bill7000@msn.com, Password: bill) It was an excellent talk about movie trailers in general and, really, marked the first time I’ve ever discussed what I’ve done with someone at any great length. Most times at cocktail parties I just drop my day job and leave it at that because I’ve learned that watching movie trailers doesn’t really translate well to long, enriching conversation when you have to explain the ins and outs of deconstructing these little things. It’s only really interesting to me, I assume, so I try to bring it up only when pressed by other people to bring it up. I am disappointed, though, that I was reduced to a fraction of what I told the reporter if for the only reason that I had an epiphany while talking to her and came to the conclusion that watching trailers is still a very solitary experience. You can see the amount of traffic QuickTime gets from people looking at the new trailers that come out but where’s the dialogue? Where’s the break-down of what’s to come? The trailer for SPIDER-MAN 3 looks insanely good, even though it starts out a bit rocky, but where, besides message boards, are there people whittling these things down to their essence?

Nowhere is the correct answer.

Nowhere but here and it isn’t so much that I am happily boasting, I’m not, but I would visit *other* sites if someone else were to do it if they were examining these things critically. I’d like more peers in this segment of entertainment. I was a huge fan of literary criticism when I was going for my master’s if for the only reason than, as a consumer, you’re free to make any assertion you want about anything as long as you can back up what you’re saying. You think “Othello” is really a parable of homosocial relations between men? Fine, but prove your point (and big ups to Eve Kosofsky who made me see Shakespeare in a completely different context). And I’ve since learned that since not everyone wants this, and that everyone here merely wants to be entertained before going on to Fark.com or Digg.com, I like to couch everything I say with a mellow bent on things.

It makes me proud that I am a “31-year-old self-declared “˜fanboy’ and “˜geek’ from Arizona” because there’s an honest representation of why trailers matter. These things matter and, as readers, you matter. So many people say this is the best part of going to the movies and they are. I’m just glad to be one of the only people out here talking about them every week for your personal amusement. So a compliment for me is a compliment for you. Huzzah.

That said, let me now rip a new a-hole through prose to the buttfaces who were giving me jive for ordering some Child sized popcorn at the local theather. If any of you have had the same resistance I am sure you can relate to what I would like to put on fancy paper, put in a parchment envelope and sealed with a waxy clasp to the person in charge of these young’uns who are no doubt just doing what they’ve been told.

“To whom it may concern,

While I understand the need to up sell me when I visit your lobby to get myself some treats, as the talking popcorn admonished me to do in ONE CRAZY SUMMER, right before George Calamari does that funny thing where he scares Hoops McCann, do you have a clue that as a grown man I know what I’m getting myself into when I ask for something?

To wit, I visited your Harkins Scottsdale 101 location on two different occasions in the past week. Once was to see MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3 (Yeah, I know. Cruise is batshit crazy but the din was impossible to deny from those who saw it and gave it a favorable mention) and the other was to see THE BREAK-UP (Yeah, I know. But, seriously, the wife really wanted to see this movie and I made it a point to make sure we saw this on the first opportunity we had as I am a huge John Michael Higgins fan and he was just spectacular. Now I look like a champ, I got what I wanted and now it’s my pick when we’re allowed to leave the sanitarium which is my household.). I went to your amply stocked snack Valhalla and ordered a Child sized popcorn. While taking in your other menu choices (A dill pickle on a stick? Who the hell is ordering this that warranted a vendor to help you stock a vat of dill pickles on sticks?) I was asked by your just-older-than-Malaysian-child-labor employee working my order the following question:

“˜Are you sure that’s going to be enough?’

I was taken aback. I don’t think I was shocked more than I was a little reflective on the suggestion that maybe I hadn’t properly thought out what I might be able to pound down my gullet. I’ve never had someone question my ability to consume and, having an athletic build, maybe I looked a little emaciated and this hourly liege was just offering their professional opinion; Lord knows these kids nowadays can consume pure food poundage faster than the money being spent in Iraq on a daily basis.

And then it struck me as they started to tell me that I could make a much larger selection of popcorn for just”¦.

“˜No. I want the Child size, thank you.’

I don’t know why I added the thank you. I shouldn’t have if for the only reason than when I visited the same location, seven days later, and ordered it again because I found the portion size to be just perfect, I was given the same response by a girl who could barely get the sales pitch out due to the impedance of her rubber banded braces. I really, and honestly, should’ve called “shenanigans” on this bull-shiat tactic that you’re teaching these kids but I didn’t. I know it’s just something you’re doing because the snack bar is the one place where, like our modern rock stars and their $45 dollar t-shirts being sold across at mega arenas, you see profits. These kids are just unwitting pawns of your crap training scheme. Do you have sales material that explains that these kids should question the tolerance of people who order popcorn or fountain drinks? Do the people who order the biggest size in both these categories get serviced with a smile and “Will do!” chop-chop-iness? Have you thought about whether you’re partly to blame about why Americans are seeing their waistlines burgeon to alarming sizes?

As a sales guy myself, I can respect the fact you want to make more. You want to stay in business and up selling is all a part of the game we all know about when we go into the theater. However, don’t question my tolerance for the amount of popcorn I want and whether it’s going to be satisfactory to satiate my appetite. It’s just one more excuse why people might not be so hot to come to the theaters. If you’re not giving them sticker shock at the ticket booth then being harassed at the treat counter isn’t doing you any favors when thinking about the diminishing window between theatrical and home video release dates.

Now, I’m not about to make some threatening claim about not patronizing your establishment as you’re, really, the only drug dealer in town who can give me what I want the most but I am letting you know that I know that we all know what’s going on behind that counter of yours. I might start using my college ID from ten years ago to get a discount as recompense for my trouble but my beef isn’t with the studios. If you don’t want people buying the Child size then stop selling it next to your pickles on sticks.

I mean, good God, man, who are buying pickles on sticks as a snack to eat while watching a movie? I can’t think of one viewing for ABOVE THE LAW where the Vlasic stork and Steven Segal seemed like a pairing made in heaven.

Sincerely,

Christopher Stipp”
Yeah, it’s been a roller coaster of a couple weeks…

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND (2006)

Director: Ivan Reitman
Cast: Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris, Rainn Wilson
Release: July 21, 2006
Synopsis: When a regular guy (Luke Wilson) dumps a superhero (Uma Thurman) because of her neediness, she uses her powers to make his life a living hell.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Why God…Why hast thou forsaken me? I’m not a huge fan of the American-ized The Office series on NBC.

It has nothing to do with my fondness for the UK version but, I feel, the series tries too hard to be amusing and it only feels like a forced display of how this little company of chimpanzees can fling their poo amusingly at the camera. That said, I am a fan of Rainn Wilson.

“Ooo”¦Check that out”¦Uptight librarian on the outside, ready to rumble on the inside.”

The trailer opens great, I’ll give it that much. Rainn does his dependable duties as the second banana by peeping Uma Thurman on a subway, makes his above comment and, oddly, we’re allowed to proceed to the next portion of this movie’s introduction without so much as a practiced voiceover from some kind of “wacky” perspective.

Luke, who really is an actor that seems to believe there are no small parts and is grossly underrated, does his best to impress Uma and, color me amused that she has the ability to be funny, shoots our man down ingloriously when he tries to nonchalantly pick her up for a date.

One of the problems I stumbled over, though, is I don’t know how we get from Uma being this cold, standoffish woman when he tries to ask her out to there being an extended scene here where the two of them are going at like crazed mules on Spanish Fly. She, of course, has super powers and rips off Luke’s clothes with savage aplomb.

There is some awkwardness in trying to get from her blowing him off, to the two of them doing it, to Luke navigating himself through a series of odd moments where Uma plays the part of the needy, psychotic girlfriend.

I just don’t get it. There’s no flow through any of these scenes. I’m all sorts of turned around and I don’t understand if it’s Luke that’s the rube, Uma the one who deserves to be dumped or if the two of them are somehow to blame for there being such an ill fit with regard to the relationship. I’m pretty sure it’s Uma who is to blame but, the trailer being so muddled, I can’t say for sure and that’s a problem when you’re trying to create some real regard for your characters that you hope people want to know more about and get to know. This trailer is having a personality disorder.

This when we get a useless tirade, a real time waster, from Rainn about how to break up with his lady friend which only drags my attention down with it. After the eventual “break up” happens it is now time for Uma to unleash her superpowers for us to witness.

I’m not sure if it’s the awkwardness of the trailer up to this point or if it’s an indication of something more serious to do with the movie but the displays of her abilities are kind of old and busted. We see her zipping around really fast, we see her using her super strength to do really bad things to Luke’s car, using her crazy vision to flash fry the fish in Luke’s tank (I think) and we get it all set to the modern sounds of Fine Young Cannibal’s “She Drives Me Crazy” (Awesome choice there, Trailer Maker! What was the runner-up “Girl You Know It’s True” by Milli Vanilli?).

Wanda Sykes is here to add to the racial tension of the movie as is her want in most everything she does, we get some really really bad effects of Uma tossing a shark into Luke’s bedroom as he’s trying to woo some young woman and, to end it, we have the two of them sharing a meal with Uma saying that she knew they’d be back to together and that’s why she didn’t kill him. Huh? I thought everyone determined she was some crazy broad who deserved to get punted yet Luke still goes back to her by the end?

This trailer is confusing, lame and does so many other things wrong that it should be sent back to the plant for some Quality Control testing. Where’s a thick slab of Kryptonite that could smother this thing when you need it”¦

WORLD TRADE CENTER (2006)

Director: Oliver Stone
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Michael Peña, Maria Bello, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Release: August 11, 2006
Synopsis: Director Oliver Stone tells the true story of the heroic survival and rescue of two Port Authority policemen ““ John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno ““ who were trapped in the rubble of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, after they went in to help people escape. The film also follows their families as they try to find out what happened to them, as well as the rescuers who found them in the debris field and pulled them out. Their story shows how the best in people rose above the tragic events of that day.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. I was sitting in grade school, math class, when one of the octogenarians who passed for a comprehensive disseminator of information to our nation’s youth busted into our discussion of fractions to say the Challenger had blown up.

Without the Internets in 1986 I had no way of really contextualizing what that moment meant until I went home and had it replayed for me later that day. Fast forward to 2001 and I was just getting into my lat routine in the very tiny country club workout room when the singular television in this 20′ x 20′ space filled with the announcement that some “˜tard had flown his tiny prop plane into the WTC. The news chopper CNN was using showed the image and, honestly, on television, it didn’t look bad. Economies of scale, I guess. It wasn’t until a few more minutes before the scope of what happened was realized: I watched the fast moving second plane slam into the side of the other WTC.

Is it too soon? Do we really need this movie? Can you really make an honest movie that doesn’t feel fabricated or false?

All these questions are valid but I think this is really a matter of whether this movie can be made well. If you can be respectful of the material, more power to Oliver and Co. The trailer gets some of the things right while, I think, in some areas plays too heavy on the schmaltz.

The opening is damn near requisite: you’ve got to have everyone waking up to a Folgers morning, everything crisp and in place. You’ve got the WTC delicately shown in the way way back in a shot of the New York skyline, you’ve got Nic Cage kissing his wife (Schmaltzy Moment # 1) while it’s still dark out, in their bed. I don’t about the rest of you married dudes but I usually don’t get a smiling wife first thing in the morning when I leave for work; I usually have to slide out of my bed like a ninja so I don’t wake her and am usually pushed away for a kiss in the morning because of my dragon breath.

I like that the voiceover for roll call at the NYPD is Nic doing his best to affect an accent that seems trapped between Brooklyn and The Jerky Boys. Kudos to the use of a fast moving shadow and the sound of a jet plane to establish the effect of how many would’ve come by the experience of what happened this day; the ZOOLANDER billboard in the background of one of the shots is oddly memorable.

We’ve already got the drama cranked up to a Lifetime Television level when Nic really pushes the moment as he and another popo are on their way to the WTC, Nic saying, “We’re prepared for everything (dramatic pause) Not this (another dramatic pause) not for something this size”¦There’s no plan”¦”

The violins are threatening to turn this trailer into something else besides a promotion for a movie and as Nic, at ground zero, asks for volunteers to go evacuate people the moment seems stuck as no one wants to volunteer and you’ve got a real cheesy thing happening when one guy does it and declares that he’ll do so and then another. Seems fabricated, not really in the realm of verisimilitude.

Cue Nic and a slo-mo moment as he yells “Run!” in that sort of John Rambo lip thing where it tries to be full of impact but looks like someone’s trying hard to evoke emotion out of me.

You’ve got Maria Bello sniffing the sheets of where her husband once slept (SM #2), you’ve got slo-mo of a mother hugging her daughter (SM #3) , you’ve got one of the trapped popo’s involved in a flashback with Maggie Gyllenhall as he’s spooning her and then as he’s writing I [heart] U on a piece of scrap paper (SM #4) and, again, what is being sold? Is it the idea of a dramatic piece or is it a truthful rendering of the events that transpired? I’m not quite sure but the marketing is all over the place on this and the tag line that “The world saw evil that day”¦Two men saw something else” is enough to make me scratch my head like an ape, wondering what in the hell they’re talking about.

If I was the teacher I would give it back and ask Oliver to work on it some more and give it back to me by next Monday because, as it stands, this is just not a very compelling trailer.

YOU, ME AND DUPREE(2006)

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Cast: Owen Wilson, Matt Dillon, Kate Hudson, Michael Douglas
Release: July 14, 2006
Synopsis: The story of a newlywed couple (Hudson, Dillon) whose relationship problems boil over when the groom’s unemployed best man, Dupree (Wilson), moves in with them for a brief period and seems to have no intention of leaving.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. So, I can relate to this.

Having a tenuous grasp on a job is just commonplace here where I live in the Southwest. Not only do I have to contend that since I live in a state that says either myself or my employer can terminate employment at any time for any reason (“Did I wear too much Aqua Velva today?” “Is the color of my Swatch watch going to be the beginning of the end for me?) I had a boss who once called me at home after the birth of my second child not only asking where I was but, after calling in to reiterate what was common knowledge, was given a lecture that even though my newborn was fragile his business interests were fragile and if I wanted a job I would recognize that. I didn’t stay there much longer. It is this reason that I can see why Owen “The Buttercup Stallion” Wilson would find himself in such a dire situation after being canned to attend Matt Dillion’s wedding. I don’t think I’d fall that fast, that quick, but this looks like a fun slip n’ slide ride at the theater.

The trailer, initially, goes through the motions of setting up the premise of the flick. Voiceover Guy does his due diligence in really hamming it up when we see the lush Hawaiian setting that is Matt Dillion and Kate “Overreact To Act” Hudson’s nuptials. You’ve got the word “perfect” tossed around here, there and everywhere before you almost feel you want to shout “I got it already!” before it moves on to establishing how Owen fits into this “perfect” situation.

Now, I wasn’t that plussed with STARSKY AND HUTCH and was marginally satisfied with his performance in THE WEDDING CRASHERS (It was really Vince’s movie to steal) so I am hopeful when Owen recounts what has happened to him since being canned for going to his buddy’s wedding. His protest to Dillion when asked if he’s living in his car is comedically rendered when he says he has a 10 speed and then gets hit by a car.

I think it’s important to state, however, that after we’re rushed to the moment when Hudson is told that Wilson is going to move into their house for a few nights, knowing full well that this wouldn’t be a movie if it were just for a few nights, it is Wilson’s holding of a mounted moose head as he thanks her which I think is a nice, humorous touch.

It is Wilson’s movie, though, as Dillion seems to just be the straight man in this vehicle and the gags keep coming when Owen barges into the room where a love is about to be made, sending Kate barreling onto the floor in surprise as Owen chants that the toilet downstairs is “on the fritz” and then follows that up with opening the bathroom door whilst on the bowl saying, “We’re going to need some matches.”

And, the capper, involves Wilson placing a tie on the doorknob of Dillion’s house as Kate, incredulous, ignores it and lets herself in the front door only to scream, leave, and then announce, “That butter dish was a wedding gift, Carl.”

It’s not as wild as Dillion’s THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY and it feels little more tame than MEET THE PARENTS but I think this movie will do well with the middle-of-the-road audience and, I would assert, means some nice profits to come.

FAST FOOD NATION (2006)

Director: Richard Linklater
Cast: Patricia Arquette, Bobby Cannavale, Luis Guzman, Ethan Hawke, Ashley Johnson, Greg Kinnear, Avril Lavigne, Esai Morales, Lou Taylor Pucci, Ana Claudia Talancon, Wilmer Valderrama
Release: Fall 2006
Synopsis: A dramatic feature based on material from the incendiary novel “Fast Food Nation,” a no-holds-barred exploration of the fast food industry that ultimately revealed the dark side of the “All American Meal.”

View Trailer:

* Large (Flash)

Prognosis: Positive. Fecal coloforms?

I read this book and have to tell those who have not that not only does this look into fast food consumer culture provoke an especially appropriate debate but it is a whole lot of funny to know that vegans who would only eat the fries were really eating slices of potato fried in beef tallow.

One of the other things about this book is that is tries to be as nonfiction as possible. Whereas SUPER SIZE ME really mixed in fact with slanted science this book tries to be even handed. However, why would Linklater turn this decent examination into fast food into a drama? It confounds as it confuses when you try and reason the thought process on this one. Even the trailer sheds the serious tone of the book somewhat and it nearly feels like a sanitized version of what Schlosser tried to bring home.

“Millions of families”¦Millions of immigrants.”

The initial shots of this trailer play out in a nearly disconnected, rushed showing of the book’s main points. We, as Americans, love to consume our burgers and fries while we are blissfully ignorant of our local yokel immigrant population quietly braving the sinister conditions of meat processing plants so you can have it your way.

Does the trailer get this message across? No, you’ve got some Soccer Mom serving slop to their kiddies while some immigrant is flashed some money to, no doubt, be yet another casualty of the underpaid underclass who take jobs in processing plants because no American in their right red, white and blue hearts would have anything to do with these places. Yet, here we are, the trailer just glossing over these things in lieu for some teenagers dropping a frozen patty on the ground only to put it back on the grill. Thanks for visual. If this was 1984 and you were the first person to make light of this it would be amusing but like all sub-par comedies before this flick we’ve all been desensitized, I posit, to the notion that when crap hits the floor there is a full-on 10 Second Rule in full effect. Nice try, though.

And then, of course, we have to get the greedy bastards in corporate, played deftly by a pack of aging white men that is always a spot-on stereotype, dumbasses, commenting on how they’re really sticking it to their consumers by knowing how much allowable fecal coliform is in their product; I had a biology teacher, come to think of it, who discussed this very issue, a one Randy Shietzelt, a genuinely smart cat who I still admire, discuss how much you can have in a given body of water before it becomes dangerous to even wade through. It’s nice to know this trailer tosses out common knowledge like a discussion of coliform, I’m sure there are heads nodding all over this great land when they hear this portion of the trailer.

If it sounds like I’m being tough on this piece of advertising, I’m glad. This book is a serious indictment of an entire industry, which goes beyond the bush league histrionics of Morgan Spurlock and his documentary, but I am genuinely pleased by how this thing ends. We’ve got Greg Kinnear, playing one of the evil corporate suits who will no doubt be playing the part of the rube who will be the filter through which some of the book material be flowing, standing in a lab and tasting a small stick. The stick has a liquid on it which mimics the taste of real food. One of the biggest of these flavor savor companies, International Flavours and Fragrances, right off the New Jersey Turnpike, adjusts the taste on a hellacious number of things you stick in your mouth and consume. I really like how Kinnear is amazed, as you should be, that this mere liquid disguises itself into anything you desire.

I’m not convinced that this movie has done a service to the book by making it into a pseudo drama but I am hoping, at the very least, this once again raises awareness of how your corporate overlords are taking care of you as a consumer of their products. This trailer needs more focus on the reality and less on the dramatics.

 

Nocturnal Admissions: Book Review, Pretend We’re Dead

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:30 am

 

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In case you haven’t noticed, film book publishing is at its peak right now. There are more new books on cinematic subjects now then there were at it’s peak, which was from about 1968 to 1973 when all the (still) great film books were published. It all went to shit shortly thereafter, and throughout the 1980s, film topics couldn’t find a publisher. Fortunately, things have changed, and there are new books by the old guys, such as Robin Wood and David Bordwell, and great new books on diverse topics from writers as diverse as Linda Ruth Williams and Chris Fujiwara. 

Pretend coverAnd if there is one vein of publishing that has proved to be the most fruitful, it is in genre and especially horror. FAB Press is doing a fantastic job, as are Reynolds and Hearn and numerous other independent presses. But mostly it’s been academic and university presses that have exploded in a wealth of books on horror films and other genres.

Into this mix comes Annalee Newitz’s Pretend We’re Dead: Capitalist Monsters in American Pop Culture (Duke University Press, 224 pages, $21.95, ISBN 0 8223 3745 2). It’s a terrific survey of “monster” movies of the last 20 or so years and pop culture well before that, and focusing on cannibals, robots, and serial killers.

Now, Newitz isn’t the typical college prof who has been mining the same narrow topic for a lifetime. She has written for The Believer and Salon.com, and has published two previous books on quasi sociological or American Studies topics. And she brings zest and wide ranging cultural references to her topic, plus a knack for presenting complex ideas out of Marx, Benjamin, Baudrillard, and Horkheimer, explaining them clearly and using them to illustrate how cinema has become a canvas upon which the culture has been grappling in fantasy with overwork, bad bosses, and meager returns. What she’s talking about is the horrific complement to what I called “Heroic Alienation,” films such as Clockwatchers, American Beauty, Office Space, and Fight Club, that take on the boredom and injustice of the workplace.

 

Donald Sutherland, Day of the Locust

 

For me, the most interesting part of the book is chapter 5, which, after chapters on serial killers, mad scientists, the undead, and robots in that order, focuses on “media” monsters. This is a wholly original contribution to film studies, in which Newitz collates together disparate tangents of the culture to show us in unified form what has been there the whole time. The other chapters are fine, and Newitz has new and interesting things to say about robot love and serial killers in films, but it is essentially old if still interesting ground, covered by many other books, including Philip L. Simpson’s Psycho Paths, Joan Hawkins’s Cutting Edge, Mikita Brottman’s Offensive Films, and Adam Lowenstein’s Shocking Representations. The chapter starts off with a placement of the audience in relation to the screen by some aspects of George Lucas’s THX Sound adverts in theaters. The catch phrase “The Audience is Listening” strikes Newitz as rather ominous, although I have to say that her argument didn’t really convince me, as the phrase can be interpreted in multiple ways with the context she gives in her book. She then goes on to provide an operating definition of what type of film she is trying to define here, i.e., “monsters of the culture industry,” narratives about people who use and consume or are used by mass media. These films have no consistent genre attributes as do mad scientist films (or women in prison films, for that matter), but there are recurrent themes or situations, such as how stars and directors are portrayed and how consumers are often reduced to muttering zombies by overuse.

 

Day of the Locust stomp

 

This chapter is then sub-divided into four mini sections, each addressing different facts of “media horror” movies. Under consideration first are films set in Hollywood (that site of “crazed but meaningless productivity”) or in the movie business, including Day of the Locust (in which Homer Simpson, played by Donald Sutherland, is torn to pieces by a frenzied crowd outside the premiere of The Buccaneer), The Bad and the Beautiful, All About Eve, Sunset Boulevard (which suddenly makes sense if one views it as a gothic or a horror story), and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, tales of people driven made by lust for fame or other inconveniences of show biz. Next she takes on films that play with ideas of the effects of pervasive media culture on citizens, including Logan’s Run, Videodrome, Scream, and Nurse Betty. Fantasies about people who drop into media productions follows: Pleasantville, The Truman Show, Tron, and The Matrix (films where the characters here are “eaten by a giant narrative”). Finally films such as The Last Starfighter, Galaxy Quest, and The Ring play with notions of belief in fantasy constructions that turn out to be real.

This is all fascinating stuff, a new way of seeing films about films and other media, as horror films. But because it is groundbreaking material, some of the connective tissue is a little tenuous. I found myself not entirely clear on just what the genre she is talking about, and the genres within it, really had to do with horror. At the same time, I could also come up with additional titles that seemed to fit into her descriptions and thesis that she doesn’t mention – not that a book has to mention everything, but these films might have buttressed her definition. For example, there’s Hollywood Boulevard, which is an actual horror film, and The Big Knife, another Hollywood tale about horrific people. In terms of the horror of media, I can also think of The China Syndrome, Rollerball, The Running Man, Freejack, and Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. In the media business realm, demonlover comes to mind, and in alternate realities and games, The Thirteenth Floor, Dark City, eXistenZe, Shocker, and Wes Craven’s New Nightmare seem pertinent.

And there is the occasional error. She has Margo Channing’s boyfriend in All About Eve, played by Gary Merrill, as a writer, rather than a director (Hugh Marlowe is the writer), and in general tends to credit the director with everything good in a movie. But Nurse Betty is anomalous in Neil LaBute’s work for being written by others, in this case, John C. Richards and James Flamberg, and The Truman Show was written by the interesting Andrew Niccol who went on to write and direct Gattaca.

 

Bill Atherton screaming

 

But as I say it’s new territory. To make up for lapses and the odd mistake Newitz more than makes up in insight and wit. On Baby Jane: “When nobody wants to look at an actress anymore, she deliberately makes herself more or less deliberately hideous.” And, “The idea that audiences take pleasure in the degradation of their screen idols is one of the most disquieting parts of the horror narrative known as mass culture.”

 

 

Game On! 7-7-2006

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 4:26 am

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Hello again, friends, and welcome to another fun filled week here at Game On! We’ve got reviews of classic shooters, an anime-inspired game, as well as a look at the demo for an upcoimg title, and a quick word on a gaming tournament too. Let’s get started.

GRAD-ITUDE

gameon_7-7-06_gradiuspsp.jpgOne of my favorite genres for games has always been the twitch-shooter. fast, frantic gameplay, quick deaths, skill and strategy, and trail and error have always been the earmarks of a great twitch-shooter. None have done this better (argueably) than the GRADIUS series, which is now collected on the PSP’s aptly named GRADIUS COLLECTION. Here we’ll see the first four games from the series, as well as the unreleased (on US shores, anyway) GRADIUS GAIDEN collected onto one disc for the first time ever.

These games are presented in thier full arcade forms, so everything is intact, and the aspect ratio of the screen size can be adjusted to your liking, from filling the PSP’s wide screen, to normal size, to stretched out. Everything from the powerups to different shielding possibilities are included from the originals, and thakfully, as “save anytime’ feature has been added too, to alieviate strain on the eyes and thumbs when blasting in short burts of time (especially helpful for a handheld collection).

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The collection also includes music and video from the series history, as well as some unlockable cinematics and tunes as you progress through the various stages of the games. Of all the titles, the first and GAIDEN seem to be the best and most well-rounded shooter experiences here, but each game is a testament to the genre, and this collection is a great one for fans and newcomers alike.While it would have been nice if they inclused Konami’s other shooter LIFEFORCE (which was called SALAMANDER in Japan, as evidenced in the opening of GRADIUS III) this is still a robust and well-done compilation. Now, let’s get a CONTRA one going and we’ll be all set for shooters.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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NARUTO, NOISY NINJA

gameon_7-7-06_naruto.jpgLicensed games are usually a mixed bag when it comes tothose that are based on anime properties. Usually quality control is sacrificed for fan service, but on occasion, you’ll find a quality title out there for folks who may not be too familiar with the series to still enjoy with the fans. NARUTO: ULTIMATE NINJA aims to be one such of these titles, and succeeds in many ways, though it’s shortcomings are a bit obvious as well.

As it usually happens with these titles, NARUTO is a fighting game. Thankfully, it’s not a boring one, with the action occuring on several different planes, as well as the ability of the characters to teleport around the arenas, and even switch locales mid-fight. There’s also a fairly intuitive combo system in place here, with attacks knocking opponents across screen in high velocity fight sequences.

The graphics fair well when compared to the look of the show, and many of the main combatants from the series make an appearance, with more unlockable. There’s a mild story mode here called “Scenario” which allows the player to follow a series of fights as one specific character. There’s not much story for the story mode, but none of the “story” elements are repeated for each character, so it’s a nice diversion from just the normal arcade mode (which is also included). There’s also a mission mode, in which fights have to be completed with certain perameters in order to move to the next.

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My main problem with this title, however, is that there realy is only ONE attack button. Combos, while there are many, usually just occur with some variation of “attack, attack, attack, left plus attack” or “attack, attack, up and attack” and so on. I would have liked a little bit more variety there, but as it stands, it’s a little more than a single button masher, which i hate.The only other time you hit a button is the triangle to ready your special attack or “secret technique”. As you fight, you build up your special meter, up to three levels. You can cycle through these levels by pressing the triangle button (red for level one, purple for level two, and green for level three) and if you connect while glowing one of these three colors, you’ll begin your secret technique move. Here you can actually try some other buttons on the controller, as two meters appear on the sides of the screen. Press the apporpriate buttons as they reach the bottom of the meter, and your attack will be powerful, miss any one of them, and the attack is shortened. You opponent also has a meter, and if they time the button presses correctly, they can lessen the damage done to them.

While these elements thankfully break up the single button mash-fests, it still doesn’t help the times in between, when you’re pounding wildly on your foe to build up chakra to use your techniques. At least there are power-ups spread through the levels, gained by support characters (or beaten out of your oppoenents support characters).

All in all, however, fans of the series will certainly buy this in droves, and fighting fans who want something a little different than STREET FIGHTER will have something to enjoy. The combos, when done at all, are done well, and the attacks are cool, if with little variation in the buttons you press. One other thing i wouldn’t have minded if they included it would have been the original japanese voices for the characters, as the American voice dub for the character of Naruto is downright annoying. Believe it.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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DEMO REVIEW: PREY

This past week online and on Xbox Live Marketplace, the demo for 3D Realms’ and 2k Games’ upcoming FPS PREY was made availble for free download. I took advantage of it and played around iwth it a little bit, which seems to cover a good chunk of the opening of the game.

You play the role of Tommy, a cherokee mechanic who longs to pick up his best girl and get off the rez (that’s reservation to you palefaces) for a life more exciting. Just as he’s quelled the braying of some drunks at the local bar, wouldn’t you know it but ALIENS show up and capture everyone around. Yeah, it’s about to get seriously strange.

What sets this FPS apart from the rest of the pack is the downright wierdness it throws your way. The ship you wind up on has a few features not standard to our ways of living. What appear to be pipes extending over random areas of the floor from one side appear to be just that, but on the otehr act as portals to other sections of the ship. Portals also show up randomly and spill enemies out at you. Then, there’s the walkways. When turned on, you can actually walk UP the walls and on the ceilings, offering a new vantage point to the combat, and another wierd way of getting around this already crazy ship.

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The weapons you find are fairly standard for an FPS (so far anyway) but when you shoot them at certain marks ofn the ship, it flips the orientation of the room…or where you can walk. This game has some serious fun with flipping the characters around, and will probably make a few players seasick from all the disorienting rooms.Add to that the fact that Tommy can leave his body and have his ethereal form move past obstacles and open doorways that he many not be3 able to get through from the side he’s on, as well as attcking with amystical bow and arrow, and you’re got one weird, spiritual shooter. Tommy is aided and abetted by his spirit animal Tallon (a haawk, of course) who flies around the levels and points out the parts where he can leave his body to advance.

While the demo offered up a good few missions, an d gave the main exposition of the story, it was still too little to form a full opinion on. What i played i liked, however, and the story driven moments in this FPS are a nice change, and the quirks it has offer a good deal of diversity for the FPS fan who may be tired on things on your normal solid ground. I didn’t have a chance to explore the multiplayer side of things, but from what i hear it’s fun for fans of the UNREAL series. Look for my full review of the game after it hits stores helves in a few weeks.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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GAMING NEWS

Here’s a bit that a loyal reader named Vincent sent me a few weeks ago and i initially forgot to post about it when he sent it, but thankfully, there’s still time left on it. It’s about a Half Life 2 tournament from Verizon and Valve where players have a chance to compete for $100,000 cash. It’s called the FiOS Grand Tournament. Players that register will get a free copy of Half Life 2: Deathmatch to play during the tournament (which runs from June 15 to July 29) as well as a copy of Half Life 2: Lost Coast to try out while competing in the tournament.More info on the FiOS Grand Tournament can be found below and by visiting http://www.fiosgrand.com/

Well, that’s it once again for us this week. See you all next time with more reviews and news…and hopefully, a smile or two. Or something like that.

Scrubs Blog: Week 30 ““ The Todd’s Lunch

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcast Commentaries,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:52 am

 

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It may be summer hiatus, but we roll out the next in a series of exclusive episode commentaries to hold you over the long wait for Season 6″¦

BLOG-COMMENTARY #6: Episode 5×20 – “My Lunch” –
The Todd himself, Rob Maschio, commentates on an episode marking some major revelations in his sex-crazed character. All you have to do is download the mp3 file below, cue up the episode on your TIVO, VHS, DVD, or computer, then hit play on the commentary (or you can download the free Sharecrow DVD player, which allows you to sync up commentaries on your computer). Hope you dig it”¦

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DOWNLOAD:
mp3 Format (21.2 MBs)

 

Weekend Shopping Guide 7/7/06: Dark Knight Dini

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:37 am

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This week’s a bit light, considering the holiday and a relative lack of DVD releases this week. Still, there’s a few things worth dropping a dime on, so let’s get movin’…

The first issue of Paul Dini’s run on the (thankfully) revamped Detective Comics (DC, $2.95) hit shelves this week, and you gotta run to your local comic shop and snatch it up, then hunt down Paul at Comic-Con in just a little over a week and get him to sign it. Or just stare at him from across a room, wondering why so few have such a brilliant handle on the Dark Knight like Paul does. You may also recall that Mr. Dini and his sock monkey son Rashy do their own talk show here at Quick Stop, “Monkey Talk”. You should really check that out, too. Hint. Hint.

When most creative people view the re-launch of a venerable franchise as a 1,2,3 process of simply wiping out what came before and starting from scratch, it takes a delicate hand – and an often harrowing leap of faith – to decide to revitalize a franchise while still keeping its previous continuity intact. It’s rare that such an endeavor proves successful, but just such a creative miracle was achieved by Russell T. Davies, executive producer the rejuvenated Doctor Who (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP). Re-launched last year on the BBC to critical praise and fan approval, the Doctor’s adventures pulled in huge audiences of both old and new fans of all ages, proving that you don’t always have to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. Starring Christopher Eccleston as the time traveling Doctor (the ninth in a line that’s included the legendary Tom Baker, Jon Pertwee, Patrick Troughton, Sylvester McCoy, Colin Baker, Peter Davison, William Hartnell, and Paul McGann) and Billie Piper as faithful and feisty companion Rose Tyler, it’s amazing how well it all pulled together. The 5-disc complete first season set features all 13 episodes, plus audio commentaries and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

With a title like Loving the Machine: The Art and Science of Japanese Robots (Kodansha America, $26.95 SRP), how could I not crack this book open as soon as I laid eyes on it? Thankfully, its contents live up to the title, featuring everything from Astroboy to assembly line mechanical arms dueling with lightsabers at a trade show.

Tom DeFalco returns with another in his fascinating Comics Creators On… series, this time focusing on the writers and artists behind the long history of those mighty mutants, the X-Men (Titan Books, $17.95 SRP). Interviewees include Stan Lee, John Byrne, Chris Claremont, Alan Davis, Grant Morrison, Louise Simonson, Dave Cockrum, and more.

Hans Zimmer’s scores too often veer into sonic wallpaper for me, but I was duly impressed by his score for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (Walt Disney Records, $18.98 SRP), a rousing, swashbuckling affair that captivated me from start to finish. Stunning, I know.

It took a film like Find Me Guilty (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) to remember that, when he tries and he has a solid director and script behind him, Vin Diesel can actually act. Here he plays Jackie Dee DiNorscio, a real life gangster who refused to rat out the Luccehese crime family and instead opted to defend himself – in what turned out to be one of the most surreal trials of al time. Wisecracking and affable, DiNorscio turned the court upside down, and Diesel delivers a memorable performance bringing it to cinematic life. The DVD features a conversation with director Sidney Lumet, TV spots, and the theatrical trailer.

Jack Kirby’s epic Fourth World gets the spotlight in the latest tabloid-sized issue (#46) of the Jack Kirby Collector (Twomorrows, $9.95 SRP), packed with original pencil sketches, rare pages, and so much more cool stuff that upholds Twomorrows rep as the best comics history torchbearer publishing today.

Also worth checking out is the first volume in the 3-volume arc of graphic novels acting as a prequel to director Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales, Two Roads Diverge (Graphitti Designs, $12.95 SRP). The film itself will comprise the final three volumes of the saga, so pick up a copy and get started on a most unique journey.

Farrah Fawcett had departed (save for a guest appearance), and you could tell that it was the beginning of the end for those femmes of the mission impossible set, Charlie’s Angels (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP). The 6-disc third season set contains all 24 episodes – one of which features a guest turn from Scatman Crothers. Scatman Crothers plusses anything he graces.

And finally, how about a look at a few characters from the latest series of Family Guy figures (Mezco, $12.00 SRP each), featuring Peter (as Gary the No Trash Cougar), The Sales Man, Tricia Takanawa, Greased-Up Deaf Guy, God, and McGriffen?

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

Comics in Context #136: Before There Were Cars

Filed under: Comics in Context — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:52 am

 

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cic-20060707-01.jpgOne of the reasons I started doing “Comics in Context” was to criticize critics.  As the mainstream media grew more interested in comics and cartoon art in recent years, various film critics and other writers would make assertions about the subject that were condescending, prejudiced, or outright wrong.  

Matters have improved over the last three years, but the release of Pixar’s new animated feature Cars has drawn some very strange reactions indeed from certain major film critics, as I shall discuss next week.

One mistake by a major reviewer, however, gives me the opportunity to delve into a subject that has long been waiting to take its turn in this column. 

“The animation of the inanimate has been a staple from the dancing brooms of Fantasia right up to the talking clock in Beauty and the Beast and the remote-control car in Toy Story,” wrote Anthony Lane in his New Yorker review of Cars (June 19, 2006).  The brooms don’t dance, but lumber back and forth to music, but Lane has a bigger mistake to make.  He continues, “In each case, however, these were bit parts, put there to fidget and fuss while the humans, or humanoids, or the mice got on with their narrative tasks.”  And that’s not true.

In interviews, Cars director John Lasseter has repeatedly mentioned that he got the idea to put the cars’ eyes in their windshields from the 1952 Disney animated short Susie the Little Blue Coupe, whose title character is a living car. 

In fact, Disney has a tradition of doing animated cartoons that present an entire culture composed of animals or of objects that in real life are inanimate.   Except for The Incredibles, the Pixar features fall into this tradition, depicting communities of toys (Toy Story and Toy Story 2), insects (A Bug’s Life), monsters (Monsters, Inc.), fish (Finding Nemo), and now automobiles (Cars) that are analogues to human society.  (The Incredibles portrays a community of superhumans existing within a larger “normal” human society. See “Comics in Context” #62.)  Whereas the earlier Pixar features acknowledged that humans also exist in their worlds, Lasseter takes the concept further in Cars by depicting an alternate Earth dominated by automobile society, in which humans – or, for that matter, animals – do not exist.

This animation tradition is a subject that I originally intended to address in my reviews of last year’s retrospective by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, “I Love to Singa: Cartoon Musicals,” curated by animation historian Greg Ford.  Previously I wrote about the programs with cartoons directed by Tex Avery and Chuck Jones (“Comics in Context” #100, 101 and 102), cartoons from Max Fleischer Studios (“Comics in Context” #116 and 117), and classic Disney “Mickey Mouse” cartoons (“Comics in Context” #109).  I had to postpone my review of another Disney program, “‘Sillies’ and Other Symphonies,” but Cars provides me with an appropriate occasion.  Better late than never.

The main subject of this program was the “Silly Symphonies,”  a series of animated shorts that Disney produced alongside its “Mickey Mouse” shorts in the 1930s.  As their name suggests, the “Silly Symphonies” were often designed around musical themes. Other studios blatantly mimicked the “Silly Symphonies” name for their own cartoons:  hence, Warner Brothers’ “Looney Tunes” and “Merry Melodies,” which would evolve quite far away from the “Silly Symphonies” format.  The title of Bob Clampett’s 1943 Fantasia parody, A Corny Concerto (see “Comics in Context” #101), would be yet another variation on the “Silly Symphonies” name.

Disney used the “Silly Symphonies” to venture into subject matter that was very different from the “Mickey Mouse” shorts (and its spinoff “Donald Duck,” “Goofy” and “Pluto” cartoon series), such as fairy tales:  Disney’s Three Little Pigs was a “Silly Symphony,” as one might guess from the famous song it introduced, “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?” Disney also used the “Silly Symphony” series to experiment with new animation methods.  Many “Silly Symphonies,” including some that I mention in this column, can be seen on Walt Disney Treasures: Silly Symphonies, a DVD set released back in 2001. 

In his program notes for the “Sillies” program, Ford noted, in rather academic prose, that “From the outset, the “Symphonies” were apt to pictorialize self-enclosed communities of cartoon beings tied to fixed visual themes,” such as insects or cookies or even musical instruments.

cic-20060707-02.jpgThe first “Silly Symphony” in the Lincoln Center program, Musicland (1935), provides a perfect parallel to Cars.  Musicland depicts a world, or at least a pair of islands, where humans and animals do not exist:  the Island of Symphony and the Isle of Jazz, separated by the Sea of Discord. Every character in Musicland is an anthropomorphic musical instrument.  The Queen of Symphony and her daughter are violins.  The King of the Isle of Jazz is a saxophone, caricatured to resemble Paul Whiteman, a famous orchestra leader of the time who conducted jazz; the King’s son is also a sax.  Musicland necessarily goes further than Cars, not only giving its characters eyes and mouths, but also hands and feet (so they can move).  On the other hand, Musicland has no dialogue:  its characters speak in musical sounds.  The princess sounds like a violin, and she even moves to classical music.

Furthermore, virtually everything else on the two islands is a musical instrument, or designed to evoke music.   A tree resembles a bass violin.  A park bench is shaped like notes of music.  When the prince writes a letter, he inscribes musical notes, not letters, on a sheet of paper.

Since there is no dialogue, Musicland is something like a silent movie with a musical score: the storytelling is done through entirely visual means.  Anyway, the story follows a familiar pattern: it’s basically Romeo and Juliet, albeit with a happy ending.  (It also foreshadows, and perhaps influenced, the romantic subplot of the Fleischers’ 1939 animated feature Gulliver’s Travels.)  Despite the rivalry between their nations, the Princess of Symphony and the Prince of Jazz fall in love with each other.
The queen discovers their tryst, and sends guards (more violins) wielding guns (their bows), who imprison the Prince (within a giant metronome). 

Soon war breaks out between the islands.  The King of Jazz conducts long horns, resembling guns, which fire bursts of music.  The Queen of Symphony conducts her own set of cannons:  enormous organ pipes, which play (what else?) Richard Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.”  And here we once again have the image of the conductor, which turns up in so many musical cartoons.

Notice that there is no King of Symphony, nor a Queen of Jazz.  Is Musicland suggesting that classical music, and high culture in general, is a feminine domain, personified by the grim, humorless Queen,  while jazz is somehow “masculine,” as personified by the jolly, extroverted King?  Does the war between the King and Queen symbolize tension between one’s parents?  Or, metaphorically, are the King and Queen two sides of the same personality, which must be reunited?

Carrying a white flag of truce, the Princess rows across the Sea of discord in her boat, which is really a bass violin case.  The “boat” is hit and sinks as the Prince, escaped from prison, rushes to her rescue.  Seeing their children in danger, the King and Queen halt the battle.  (In Romeo and Juliet, sorrow over the deaths of the rival families’ favorite children puts an end to their feud.) The Prince rescues the Princess, and together they sink (in symbolic death), but are immediately rescued (and symbolically resurrected, unlike Romeo and Juliet), as a couple.  The King rises above his anger and extends his hand to the Queen, who reciprocates, and another couple is united:   Mom and Dad are no longer at odds.

The cartoon thus ends with a double wedding, presided over by a bass violin as preacher.  Now that she’s in love, one of the Queen’s violin strings breaks, presumably as a sign that she’s no longer so tightly strung.  The islands are now physically united by the “Bridge of Harmony,” and musically united by the playing of another Wagner theme, the Wedding March from “Lohengrin,” in a jazz arrangement.

Like Cars, Musicland has a love story at its center, although Musicland‘s is presented more like a parody of operetta-style romance, rather than evoking strong emotions in the audience.

The main parallel between Cars and Musicland is that each impresses the viewer with how much thought and imagination went into designing its alternate universe. Perhaps Musicland is even more remarkable, in that Walt Disney and company obviously put so much effort into the elaborate visual design for what was only an animated short subject.

Another important parallel with Cars is that Musicland shows the old (classical music) and the new (jazz) learning to accept each other and forge a union, just like Pixar’s Woody and Buzz becoming best friends.

Back in 1935, jazz represented the cutting edge of popular music:  an African-American form of music that was being popularized among the white majority by musicians such as the aptly named Whiteman.  But with time, the best of popular culture, whether in music or in animation, becomes part of the accepted cultural canon.  Now “Jazz at Lincoln Center” has become part of New York’s Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, alongside the Film Society and such “high art” institutions as the Metropolitan Opera, the New York Philharmonic, and The New York City Ballet. 

Hence, today Musicland can’t have the same impact on audiences that it had back in 1935.  If Musicland were to be remade today (And why not?  Musical instruments would lend themselves to computer animation.), what two forms of music would be used instead?  Classical and rock? Classical and hiphop?  And what would a hiphop version of Wagner’s Wedding March sound like?

Then I realized that the pairing might well end up being rock and hiphop, which represent a generational shift in musical tastes from the Baby Boomers to today’s youth.  The use of classical music in Musicland (and, for that matter, Fantasia), suggests the more prominent role that it played in American culture back then than it does now.  Back then Leopold Stokowski and opera singers such as Lauritz Melchior and Rise Stevens appeared in Hollywood movies;  Arturo Toscanini conducted the NBC Symphony from the same Rockefeller Center studio now used by Saturday Night Live.  It’s hard to imagine comparable classical artists playing similar roles in movies and commercial network broadcasts today.

cic-20060707-03.jpgThe next cartoon on the bill was Funny Little Bunnies (1934), which isn’t a minor masterpiece like Musicland, but isn’t as infantile as its title suggests, either.  This time the Disney studio imagined an entire community of rabbits who work in a sort of factory outdoors (in an Impressionist-like forest) where they prepare the eggs and chocolates for children’s Easter baskets.  It’s as if there were not one Easter Bunny, but many, acting as a counterpart to Santa’s elves.   Like Mickey’s band in The Band Concert (see “Comics in Context” #109), the Easter egg “factory” could even be an analogue to Disney’s own animation studio, which also creates artistic products for children. 

Once again there are various clever touches.  Most of the rabbits wear clothes, but some bunnies pose as “nude models” for other bunnies who are busily sculpting chocolates into rabbit shapes.  In yet another variation of conductor imagery, a chicken “conducts” her fellow hens in laying eggs in unison.  The bunnies paint the eggs with different patterns, which, oddly, are ready-made in the can:  there is spotted paint, and striped paint, and checkerboard paint.  The rabbit who uses “Scotch” paint wears a kilt, of course.

When you watch films from over seventy years ago, you should expect that every so often you will find disconcerting evidence of how the culture has changed over time:  in this short there are bunnies in blackface working on chocolate.

cic-20060707-04.jpgIn the next cartoon, The Cookie Carnival (1935), the Disney studio again created a civilization in which the inanimate become animate.  Just as Cars begins with an auto race held in a stadium packed with thousands of sentient cars, The Cookie Carnival opens with a marching band of cookies leading a parade straight towards the “camera,” set in “Cookietown.”  (This anticipates the parades that are a daily feature at the Disney theme parks.)

The Disney studio could give the cookies shapes that were more human than the Musicland cast, and considerably more so than Cars‘ title characters.  The cookie parade celebrates a beauty contest of sorts, whose winner is to be crowned Cookie Queen. So, following the marching band, there are a series of floats featuring the humanoid cookie contestants, “Beauties on Parade”:  there’s Miss Peppermint, atop a cake;  Miss Cocoanut (an Eskimo, accompanied by penguins, as if Disney had its poles mixed up); Miss Banana Cake;  Miss Strawberry Blonde;  and, surprisingly, Miss Licorice (a black girl).

Cookie motifs do not dominate The Cookie Carnival as completely as musically themed visual motifs did Musicland, but there are some clever ones:  a pretzel serves as a bicycle, and a dog biscuit acts like an actual barking dog.  Later lollipops project colored spotlights.  A Gingerbread Man is what Depression-era Americans would call a hobo, and what today we would term a homeless man, and he carries his knapsack on the end of a candy cane.

Foreshadowing a later Disney feature, The Cookie Carnival is an interesting variation on the Cinderella story.  The Gingerbread Man encounters an impoverished girl cookie who is crying because she wants to be in the parade but hasn’t any “pretty clothes.”  The Gingerbread Man declares that she will be the Cookie Queen. As if he were her Fairy Godfather, using ingenuity instead of magic (or maybe her version of Henry Higgins), he proceeds to create a fancy costume for her out of the materials to hand.  For example, he molds cookie dough into a wig, and turns a candy wrapper into a skirt.  The girl sees the result of her transformation by looking into a shiny lollipop, which shows her reflection like a mirror: she is “the sweetest one of all” (a phrase that refers to a cookie’s taste as well as her looks and personality).

Thus metamorphosed, the girl cookie enters the competition, whereupon the judges declare her to be “A pip! A peach! A wow!”  She ascends to the top of a wedding cake, where she is crowned Cookie Queen.

A wedding is the classic ending of a comedy, but obviously, something is missing from the top of the wedding cake.  The Judges tell the Cookie Queen that she must have a King, and tell her she can pick anyone she chooses.

So another competition begins, with various male singing cookies bidding for the Cookie Queen’s favor. 

There are “old-fashioned cookies,” dressed in 1890s costumes.  In 1935, that was not so very long ago.  It would be comparable to the 1960s from today’s vantage point!

Two Angel Food cakes wear halos and long gowns and come off as effeminate. Now there’s something one doesn’t expect to find in a Disney cartoon, but the unmistakably gay Reluctant Dragon will star in his own Disney feature only six years later. 

Next come Devil Food Cakes, scat-singing, obviously meant to be black people.  They’re described as “nice and naughty.”  Keep in mind that Disney theatrical cartoons were made for audiences of both children and adults.  That “nice and naughty” phrase would sail over the kids’ heads, but adults might pick up a sexual subtext there.  If you think I’m overreading the meaning of that phrase, just wait till we get to two later cartoons in the Lincoln Center program, each of which has – ahem! -  the word “cock” in its title.  

Guards try to stop the Gingerbread Man when he shows up.  But, of course, he is the one that the Cookie Queen chooses to be her king.  In Joseph Campbell’s “hero’s journey,” this is the scene of the recognition of the hero, who is rewarded for his kindness to the heroine.  What interests me most about this turn of the plot is that it is Cinderella with a sex change.  Now the heroine saves the hero, plucking him out of poverty and obscurity and elevating him to the roles of both husband and king.  This could even be seen as an improvement on the standard Cinderella story:  in this version the hero and heroine help each other equally.  Thus The Cookie Carnival ends with what Campbell called the “sacred marriage,” as the newly crowned Cookie King and Cookie Queen kiss, applauded by the entire community. The Gingerbread Man and the cookie girl are lonely outsiders no more.

After the 1930s and Fantasia in 1940, the Disney studio continued to do “Silly Symphony”-style musical material as segments of feature films, such as Make Mine Music, which were not full-length stories, like Bambi or Cinderella, but were effectively anthologies of short subjects. 

This is why the Lincoln Center program was titled “‘Sillies’ and other Symphonies”: along with the “Silly Symphony” shorts, curator Greg Ford included some of these musical segments, in which the Disney studio continued to experiment with the medium of animation.

cic-20060707-05.jpgFirst up was a segment from The Three Caballeros (1945).  Asked by the federal government to foster awareness of the United States’s allies to the South, Disney produced both this film and Saludos Amigos (1943), both of which consist of loosely connected vignettes about Latin America.  These films also seem to have taken advantage of a growing popular interest in Latin music in 1940s America (hence the Hollywood career of Carmen Miranda, whose sister turns up in Caballeros).  

Demonstrating that he has already surpassed Mickey Mouse in popularity by this point, Donald Duck is the star of Three Caballeros who represents the United States.  The second Caballero is Jose Carioca, the Brazilian parrot who acts as Donald’s guide to South America.  The dapper, well-spoken Jose projects a sense of cool that contrasts sharply with Donald’s raucous persona:  Donald seems very much the naive, unsophisticated American tourist.  The third Caballero, who debuts in this film, is Panchito, the Mexican rooster, who compares quite favorably to the Mexican stereotypes in so many theatrical animated cartoons, who seem to be permanently on siesta.  Panchito, on the other hand, is hyperactive, as we shall see.

When I was a child, a shortened version of Three Caballeros would regularly turn up on the weekly Wonderful World of Disney, and even then I realized that Caballeros was much stranger than any other Disney animation.  For some reason, the Disney animators made Caballeros their vehicle for delving into pop surrealism, as in a musical segment in which a dancing (live action) woman in silhouette transforms (via animation) into a silhouetted cactus.

The Film Society showed a different part of the film, which set me wondering whether there are effects that hand-drawn “2D” animation can achieve that “3D” computer animation cannot.

The least celebrated sequence in Fantasia is the one with the sentient sound track, which ventures onscreen at narrator Deems Taylor’s invitation, and morphs into various abstract shapes and designs  representing different musical sounds.  

The visual sound track returns in this segment of Caballeros, taking a guitar-like shape.  Jose and Donald dance around the pulsing sound track, casting semi-abstract shadows of pure colors, as if the characters’ movements have become part of the music.  Then Donald somehow merges with the onscreen soundtrack.  As the music continues to play, Donald’s recognizable form distorts in ways meant to visualize the sounds.  Described in print, this may just seem weird, but in the Film Society theater, the audience burst into laughter at Donald’s surreal contortions to the music.

Afterwards I wondered if this gag could work in a computer-animated film.  Except for “3-D” movies watched through special glasses, film images exist in only two dimensions.  However, when we see a person onscreen (or in a still photograph), we understand that this is an image of a real human being who exists in three-dimensional reality.  This carries over to animated characters like Donald Duck:  he actually “exists” only in two-dimensions, but we interpret his image as that of a duck who exists in three dimensional reality.  After all, Donald is drawn to look as if he has three-dimensional volume, as well as height and length:  he doesn’t vanish when he turns to his side.

But we automatically accept elements of movies such as titles, credits, and subtitles as two-dimensional:  these letters have height and length but no volume.  The animated sound tracks in Fantasia and Caballeros likewise look “flat” and two-dimensional.

cic-20060707-06.jpgYet then Donald, the supposedly three-dimensional duck, merges seamlessly with the “flat” soundtrack, reminding us (if we bother to think about it after laughing) that Donald, being a cartoon character, is just as “flat” an image as the soundtrack clearly is.  After all, they are both drawings.

On the other hand, though computer-animated characters (except in literal 3-D films like the 3-D version of Chicken Little) are also flat images on a movie screen, computer animation creates a more persuasive illusion of depth and volume than hand-drawn animation does.  A CGI version of Donald couldn’t seamlessly merge with an obviously “flat” soundtrack:  if they merged, it would look as if Donald had suddenly been flattened by a steamroller.   

Nowadays we might term Caballeros a “meta-cartoon” (not unlike Chuck Jones’s renowned Duck Amuck), or postmodernist.  Most animated films encourage us to suspend our disbelief and pretend that the animated creatures onscreen are real.  In contrast, Caballeros keeps rubbing out collective noses in the artificiality of animation.  In part it does so through juxtaposing the animated Donald with live action humans.  The sequence with the onscreen soundtrack is another of Caballeros‘ “meta” tricks. Caballeros also openly exults in its own artificiality by heightening the unreality of conventional cartoon gags.   We see this in the late Ward Kimball’s celebrated animation for the performance of The Three Caballeros‘ title song, in which he seems bent on outdoing even Tex Avery at his wildest.

Donald’s purgatory as a living sound track comes to an abrupt end with an explosion and the entrance of Panchito, firing his pistols and bidding Jose and Donald (restored to normalcy), “Welcome to Mexico!”  Moments later, Panchito launches into singing the title song, with Donald and Jose acting as backup dancers, moving in rhythm, as all three stand in a spotlight.

A spotlight?  Just where are they supposed to be?  Panchito said they were in Mexico (but how did they get there?).  The spotlight suggests that they are on stage, but there is no real background.  The “stage” is really the screen.  The “story” of the movie, such as it is, has come to a halt, and the Three Caballeros are performing directly to the audience, breaking the fourth wall.

As the song proceeds, the laws of reality are bent way out of shape.  At one point Panchito’s gun momentarily comes to life and sings a line. The images in the lyrics get their visual equivalents.  When Panchito sings about rain, lightning flashes (but weren’t they inside?), and rain pours down, filling the rim of Panchito’s sombrero.

The song culminates with Panchito holding a high note interminably, thanks to Disney’s audio technicians, as Donald and Jose race about, frenetically trying to stop him.  They briefly trap Panchito in a coffin (some unexpected morbidity in a Disney cartoon);  they saw a circle around him in the floor, whereupon, according to the laws of cartoon physics, the floor falls away and Panchito remains, unaffected by gravity;  they plant a hedge around him, which within a fraction of a second grows taller than he is, and then burns away within another split second.  A gag like the one with the saw is standard fare in a “Bugs Bunny” cartoon.  It is the relentless, rapid fire pacing of this barrage of gags, all occurring while Panchito is holding the song’s final note, that makes this sequence extraordinary.  It revels in its own absurdity;  just where are Jose and Donald getting all these props?

So enthralled was the Lincoln Center audience that when the Caballeros’ song abruptly ended (it was only an excerpt of the film, after all), they went “awwwwwwww” in disappointment before breaking into applause at Kimball’s virtuosity.

cic-20060707-07.jpgNow the program returned to “Silly Symphonies” and the 1930s, with Cock o’the Walk (1935), which, as the title indicates, is about chickens and sex. 

Like The Cookie Carnival it starts with a parade, but this time the non-human community consists of farm animals:  mostly chickens, but also ducks, peacocks, and even caterpillars.

Atop a float covered with awards is the “Champion,” a rooster from the city who appears to be a champion boxer.  But he’s really being celebrated for his sexual power:  he is a big city alpha male.  Hens flock from their homes to see him in the parade, as if they wanted to form a harem for him.

Next we meet our hero and heroine: a country rooster, dressed like a stereotypical country bumpkin, and his girlfriend, a hen in a bonnet, who looks like a young version of Miss Prissy from Warners’ later Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.  The country rooster presents the shy hen with corn, as if it were a bouquet of roses.  We observe that when this country rooster feels sexual attraction, he moves quickly and excitedly and crows. 

However, the hen sees the Champ practicing his boxing and is fascinated by this display of macho prowess. The Champ takes a fancy to her and invites her into the ring, where they proceed to dance.  It has been observed that in 1930s musicals, dancing becomes a metaphor for sex, and that’s clearly what the Champ and hen have in mind here.

The Disney studio turns the dance into a big production number that seems to envelop this entire barnyard world. A scene of hens strutting down stairs unmistakably parodies the Busby Berkeley dance spectacles of the period.  Ducks swim in rotating circles; unhatched eggs sprout legs that tap dance.  Foreshadowing the later short, Woodland Café, caterpillars shimmy, and a chick with obvious predatory intentions dances with another caterpillar.  Perhaps that latter dance serves as a hint about the Champ’s attitude towards the heroine.

The country rooster sees his girlfriend dancing with the Champ, and gets angry.  The two roosters start fighting, using their sharp beaks like (phallic?) swords.  Then the Champ steps on the country rooster’s foot, pinning him in place, and starts beating him as if he were a punching bag:  not only is the country rooster defeated, but he’s been reduced to the level of an inanimate object. The country rooster flees, and the fickle heroine applauds the victor.

But then she sees a photo of the Champ with his wife and many children.  She finds the country rooster, lying beaten and unconscious.  In a role reversal version of Sleeping Beauty, she kisses the country rooster, awakening, and figuratively resurrecting him. 

And that’s not all her kiss did for him.  He turns red, crows ecstatically, and turns into a whirling dervish.  The conventional assumptions about Disney films once again prove to be wrong:  the country rooster has clearly been sexually aroused.  Full of energy, he beats up the Champ.

Then the country rooster and the heroine hen begin dancing, much more energetically than she did with the Champ.  If dance is a metaphor fir sex, the country rooster is proving to be the better lover.

They kiss passionately, and the country rooster crows, then coughs (His transition from the Clark Kent of chickens to SuperRooster isn’t completely smooth), and then crows again, and better than before:  the hen heroine looks delighted at his sexual display.

The Hollywood Production Code was in full force by now, but Cock o’the Walk provides a textbook example of how to get sexual subtext past it.  And in an animated cartoon for family audiences!  And in the 1940s Tex Avery would go even further in his MGM Cartoons (see “Comics in Context” #100).

cic-20060707-08.jpgThe next cartoon, Who Killed Cock Robin (1935), features a society comprised entirely of birds. This short uses the familiar nursery rhyme for building a musical satirizing the legal system.  The jury sings, “We don’t know who is guilty so/We’re going to hang ’em all.” One might compare this to the trial scenes in the Marx Brothers’ Duck Soup (1933) or the Gershwins’ Of Thee I Sing (1931), but I suspect that the ultimate source is the Gilbert and Sullivan canon of comic operettas, specifically Trial by Jury.  Like Musicland, Cock Robin shows how much American culture has changed.  How familiar are today’s audiences with the Gilbert and Sullivan style?

Another marker of cultural change is a blackbird who is a sleepy-eyed caricature of an African-American.  The Keystone Kop-like police and the courtroom guards hit the blackbird. I’d like to think that the Disney studio meant to mock the guards’ and cops’ racism and win audience sympathy for the blackbird.  But maybe they just thought that hitting blackbirds – or black people – was funny.

By the mid-1930s the Disney Studio was a successful part of the Hollywood community, and it was caricaturing movie stars in its cartoons. So Cock Robin sings like Bing Crosby, but in personality he comes off as a male ingenue;  Crosby hadn’t yet developed the laid back master of cool persona that later Crosby caricatures in cartoons mimic.  A cuckoo resembles Harpo Marx. The leading lady is named Miss Jenny Wren, which may be a reference to the 19th century singer Jenny Lind, the “Swedish Nightingale.”  However, she is drawn as an avian caricature of Mae West, whose movies were hardly family fare. She sounds like West, too:  her sultry command, “Fascinate me!”, got a big laugh from the Lincoln Center audience.

In the cartoon’s final moments, the bird who shot Cock Robin with his bow and arrow turns out to be Dan Cupid, depicted not only as a bird but as yet another caricatured gay.  Cupid’s presence sets up the romantic ending.  He reveals to the court that Cock Robin isn’t dead. Then, just as in Cock o’the Walk, there is a role reversal Sleeping Beauty scene, in which Jenny revives, resurrects and, presumably, sexually arouses Cock Robin by kissing him.  The cartoon ends with Jenny, in her Mae West voice, uttering an orgasmic “Ohhhh,” giving yet more proof of how different Disney cartoons were back in the 1930s.  

cic-20060707-09.jpgOne of the forerunners of Pixar and Lasseter’s A Bug’s Life (1998)  is the Disney masterpiece Woodland Café (1937).  Here is another one of Ford’s “self-enclosed communities of cartoon beings,” this one consisting entirely of insects and other “bugs,” such as a spider. 

The cartoon is set at the Woodland Café, which seems to be an all-bug version of the real life Cotton Club.  The band consists of brown grasshoppers, one of whom even sings that they’re “here in Harlem.”  Despite the grasshoppers’ thick lips, they seem acceptable caricatures of African-Americans by contemporary standards.  They’re not lazy or childlike:  they are accomplished musicians, whose vigorous performance drives the film.  Like the Fleischer studio, the Disney studio clearly appreciated African-American music of that period.  (R. Crumb fans will be pleased to hear the lead grasshopper announce, “Everybody’s truckin’!”)

Apart from the rhythmic patter of the band leader (perhaps meant to be Cab Calloway?), there is no dialogue in Woodland Café.  But there is continual music, which the characters’ movements usually match.  Even in the opening scene, customers arriving at the cafe are walking in rhythm. 

The cartoon concisely introduces a wide array of characters, such as a dancing pair of melancholy snails, whose presence slows down the otherwise bouncy score as long as they are onscreen.  Making recurring appearances are a large, elderly bee and his smaller, peppier trophy girlfriend: she dances up a storm atop a table but he ends up being carried out on a stretcher – yet still happy with his night out. 

The centerpiece of the cartoon is presented as a show within a show, complete with a theatrical curtain raised at the beginning.  This sequence was showcased in the Whitney Museum of American Art’s landmark exhibition of Disney animation art (also curated by Ford), which is where I first saw it. It’s a parody of an “Apache dance,” associated with French cabarets of the period, and here performed by a large male spider and a small female fly.

The casting itself satirizes the sexist ethos of an actual apache dance, in which a dominant male roughly treats his female partner. In this case the spider repeatedly chased the fly through his web, and at one point bounces her up and down as if she were a basketball.

The fly’s character design is reminiscent of Minnie Mouse, but also Betty Boop: she has a sultry walk, and invites the spider’s attention with a come-hither shake of her shoulder (all in time to the music).  However, the fly comes across as something of a proto-feminist heroine. She answers the spider’s initial predatory advances with a slap in his face, causing his head to spin around.  Even when he seizes her by her antennae and holds her aloft, she somehow forces him to back away through simply glowering at him. Ultimately the spider is tangled in his own web.  The fly snaps her fingers at him in contempt, poses under an overhead light in relaxed triumph, smokes a cigarette (!), and blows out the light, whereupon the curtain closes over her silhouette.  She’s a film noir heroine who arrived onscreen several years before her human counterparts would.

It is then that the grasshopper band leader first speaks/sings, launching the infectiously energetic concluding dance number, as the director cuts repeatedly between the bugs jitterbugging on the dance floor and the musicians vigorously playing their instruments.  The montage builds climactically to a crashing cymbal, and the Lincoln Center audience erupted into loud applause.

cic-20060707-10.jpgThe program again jumped ahead a decade to A Jazz Interlude Featuring Benny Goodman & Orchestra:  All the Cats Join In, subtitled, “A cariCature,” a sequence directed by Jack Kinney from the Disney feature Make Mine Music (1946). 

Here’s another instance of a sequence that hand-drawn animation can do, but seems unsuited to computer animation.  First we see a sketchbook, which is pushed open by a pencil, held by an unseen hand, presumably that of the animator.  The pencil then draws a cat, which, in typically feline manner, watches itself being drawn, until it is erased.  The pencil then redraws the cat as a teenage boy (a “cat” in 1940s slang).  The background is completely blank.  The boy decides to call his girlfriend.  (There is no dialogue:  the soundtrack consists of Goodman’s big band music, and, eventually, a song).

The pencil draws a wire leading to a phone, and then it draws a bobbysoxer girl, who answers the phone.  As you see, props, scenery, and even cast members appear onscreen only when needed.  The pencil draws a staircase, so the girl can leave her room;  the pencil then draws a railing, which her kid sister slides down.  Then the pencil draws a car, and the two girls get in, and pick up their friends at various houses, which are no more than unrealistic stick figures.  The pencil draws a malt shop, the “cats” go in, and the pencil draws stools for them just as they sit down. The pencil even draws a new girl with a large behind, and then, the animator reconsidering, erases part of her derriere, evoking laughter from the Film Society audience.

Just what would be the equivalent in CGI?  The filmmakers have gotten the audience to simultaneously think of these teenagers as real characters in a malt shop, and as drawings being created before their eyes by offscreen animators!  It’s amazing to me that the Disney studio was confident that the audience would accept this “metacartoon” approach.  This sort of sophisticated experimentation seems to foreshadow the stylized U. P. A. cartoons of the 1950s.

All the Cats Join In is intriguing in other ways, too.  Consider that Disney was able to get Goodman, one of the biggest names in 1940s popular music, to contribute the score.  Yes, nowadays Disney gets Elton John and Phil Collins to write scores for animated features, but long after they were at the top of the charts.  In the 1940s Disney, still a young studio, was embracing and celebrating current trends in popular music and dance. 

The sexuality in the sequence is remarkable, too.  There’s the shapeliness of the girls and the fiery energy of the dancing.  Early on, the sequence even teases the audience, having the lead girl get undressed behind a shower door, but getting hold of a towel in the split second before she emerges.  As in Woodland Café, the dancing builds in energy, until it finally ends in a climactic burst (with sexual subtext?), in this case with a juke box literally exploding into musical notes.

Yet at the same time All the Cats Join In seems so innocent.  These teenagers are at a malt shop, after all, having ice cream sundaes!  At one point the “cats” throw out a boy who shows up in a dated 1920s outfit, complete with ukulele, for the sin of uncoolness.  Now the “cats'” clothes look dated, yet the characters still feel vividly alive.

cic-20060707-11.jpgThe program then went back in time to the decidedly unhip Wynken, Blynken & Nod (1938), based on a children’s poem about three children sailing in a giant shoe through a dreamworld.  The kids try to catch fish, which appear as glowing stars.  Space is visualized as waterlike, and the moon is shown, as if in soft focus. An enormous cloud with a human face blows at the shoe/ship, and eventually the children tumble from their ship.

Were the filmmakers paying homage to pioneering cartoonist and animator Winsor McCay, whose Little Nemo’s beautiful dreams usually turn to nightmares?  It’s not a surprise that at the cartoon’s end the giant shoe turns into a bed,  but I was amazed that the three children merge into a single dreamer.  What could this mean?  That a solitary child’s imaginary friends are versions of himself?

cic-20060707-12.jpgThen the program swerved back to Disney’s pop surrealism of the 1940s, with Bumble Boogie, directed by Jack Kinney for the feature Melody Time (1948), and set to a “boogie” arrangement of Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” that spotlights the piano.   An animated brush creates the protagonist, a bumblebee, before our eyes.  Again here’s the duality:  the bee is presented to us both as a character and as a drawing. This prepares us for the wild transformations to come, as piano keys turn into flowers, and horns, and butterflies, and menace the hapless bee, all to the racing rhythm of the music, winning a big round of applause from the audience. 

The Lincoln Center program concluded by moving decades ahead to the Rhapsody in Blue sequence, directed by Eric Goldberg, from Fantasia 2000, which I had originally seen at its New York City premiere in Carnegie Hall.   Set to George Gershwin’s music, the sequence is drawn in the style of the theatrical caricaturist Al Hirschfeld (and even quotes onscreen Hirschfeld’s celebrated caricature of Gershwin).  Both men are closely associated with New York City, and the sequence is set in Manhattan during the Great Depression, the same period in which Walt Disney was making his “Silly Symphonies.” 

Unlike most of the Pixar and Disney animated films discussed in this week’s column, this animated Rhapsody in Blue has a cast of human beings.  But it resembles them in other ways.

For one thing, the single note sounded by a clarinet that begins Gershwin’s “Rhapsody” is visually echoed by a single line on screen, which soon becomes the outline of Manhattan skyscrapers, and then fills in the outlines of the buildings, creating a stylized but recognizable setting.   It’s like the pencil in All the Cats Join In and the brush in Bumble Boogie:  an onscreen acknowledgment that what we see onscreen is both a representation of reality and the creation of offscreen artists.

The animated Rhapsody has no dialogue whatsoever:  like some of the cartoons mentioned earlier, it relies on visual means and the moods conveyed by the music to tell its story.

The segment swiftly introduces us to a variety of characters, representing a cross-section of New York.  First is a young African-American man who is a percussionist looking for his big break, but is making his living as a construction worker.  Considering the black stereotypes in early Disney cartoons, and the rarity of black characters in later Disney animated films, this character’s appearance is particularly noteworthy. 

There’s also an unemployed man, a victim of the Depression, who looks fairly desperate, and contemplates stealing an apple but is deterred by the nearby presence of a cop. (Having had my own employment worries, I found myself sympathizing with him.) 

The financially well off have their own problems.  A little rich girl has problems that perhaps relate more to those of today’s children.  The girl’s every moment seems programmed with after-school activities, as her severe tutor drags her from ballet class to a singing coach to swimming lessons to still more. 

A bespectacled, cherubic middle-aged man has similar problems:  dominated by his wife, he tries whenever he can to express the free spirited, childlike side of his personality.  Encountering an organ grinder, he even playfully imitates his monkey.

cic-20060707-13.jpgBeyond these four principals, the segment shows us many, many more city residents in passing.  We glimpse individuals briefly, such as a milkman and his horse, making their early morning rounds, and a tired, bored waitress.  To the rapid, bustling rhythms of Gershwin’s music, large numbers of people burst out from a hotel (named “The Goldberg”) or rush in and out of a subway station.  The drummer rushes to work; the little girl is taken from lesson to lesson; the wife drags her reluctant husband along.  Amidst the crowds and tumultuous movement of the big city, all four principal characters find themselves ironically isolated and unfulfilled.

As the music becomes slow and romantic and even wistfully melancholy, we find that all four of the principals are dreamers.  The sad little girl imagines herself skating with her parents (whom, it seems, she sees too seldom) at the Rockefeller Center rink. The unemployed man skates too, envisioning a dollar sign.  The middle-aged husband visualizes himself skating up into the sky, flying among the birds.  The construction worker imagines himself playing drums in a spotlight.

This segment of Fantasia 2000 is a contemporary reworking of the romantic image of New York City:  as a magical metropolis filled with opportunities, where dreams can come true. By sheer chance the unemployed man passes the construction site, is dragged in and given a job.  The little girl runs out onto the street after her ball and is nearly hit by cars, but is saved by her formerly absent parents, as the tutor faints away in symbolic death.  The drummer gets his chance at “Talent night” at a club in Harlem (perhaps meant to be the Cotton Club, the inspiration for Woodland Café?), where the husband turns up, freed from his wife, and finally able to enjoy himself.  As the Rhapsody moves into its final measures, the film cuts between the formerly unemployed man, ecstatic in his newfound job; the little girl reunited with her idealized parents; the drummer finally fulfilling his artistic ambitions; and the husband dancing with a more appealing female partner; before ending with a final shot of Times Square aglitter at night and the final, triumphal notes.   Earlier in the program, we had seen communities of musical instruments, insects, and cookies, among others.  this is a celebration of the community of New Yorkers, and the Lincoln Center audience erupted into applause.

I liked the animated Rhapsody in Blue when I first saw it, but it impressed me still further when I saw it at Lincoln Center.  In part that may be because, after the September 11, 2001 attacks, this sequence becomes emotionally moving as a celebration of New York City. 

It’s also because, in the context of Greg Ford’s program, it becomes clear that Goldberg’s Rhapsody fits solidly into long, honorable traditions of Disney animation:  in its use of music, in its depiction of community, and in its visual experimentation.  It shows that that tradition is still viable and still alive.

Writing about the “‘Sillies’ and Other Symphonies” shortly after seeing Cars similarly makes me aware of how much the Pixar films carry on the classic Disney tradition, more than Disney’s own animation division was in recent years.  

“I’ve always loved animating inanimate objects,” John Lasseter said in Fortune (May 17, 2006).  Twenty years ago he completed Pixar’s first computer animated short, Luxo, Jr., starring the bouncing lamp that has no anthropomorphic features whatsoever.  Yet it conveyed its personality to audiences, and continues to serve as part of Pixar’s logo on its films to this day.  With Cars Pixar and Lasseter finally bring us a feature film with an entire community of “inanimate” objects.  This is part of their tradition, and Disney’s, and Cars proves it to be still vital, as I shall discuss further in a forthcoming installment
of this column. 

Copyright 2006 Peter Sanderson
 

Noctural Admissions: Reflection, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:51 am
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Mr. Smith boxAs I do every July 4th, I spent part of the afternoon, 129 minutes to be exact, watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It strikes me as the perfect patriotic note to strike. And it includes the whole scale in its confrontation of back home idealism with big city cynicism. You can believe in Mr. Smith while laughing along with the wised up reporters and political operatives who use or observe him. Director Frank Capra pushes the buttons so well that I never fail to cry,especially at the parts that are the most treacly, such as when Smith first visits the Lincoln Memorial and watches a little kid read the Gerrysburg Address as an elderly African-American (old enough to remember the Civil War?) comes up and takes off his hat.

Every year I forget how perfectly Capra and his associates cast Mr. Smith. From Jack Carson on up, each role, no matter how big or small, is vivid and engaging. Claude Raines moves like a dancer. Jean Arthur’s voice is entrancing and has a wider range than I recall. And Edward Arnold, as the Penderast-style boss of the political machine, may have been the best actor in Hollywood, ever.

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This time I read the script, credited to Sidney Buchman, after seeing the film, and was struck by how much was cut out of the (already long) movie. The script doesn’t appear to be on line anywhere but is available in a cleaned up reader’s version in the book 20 Best Film Plays, edited by John Gassner and Dudley Nichols. There are at least three major sequences deleted from the film and lots of little bits of the script are excised (as an example, look at the scene where Susan Paine calls up Saunders, very obviously edited down in the finished version). I get the impression that screenwriters wrote fuller texts back in the old days, and that in the editing room the films were trimmed down dramatically, the editors cognizant that the viewer could accept shorthand and make leaps. Riskin’s script to It Happened One Night kicks off the book and it actually reads better than it plays. Anyway, the script’s first introduction of Smith is elided, and at the end there is a whole sequence that takes place back in Jackson City, where Smith is feted and he introduces Saunders to his “¦ pets. It’s a fuller text and makes me as misty eyed as the finished version does.

At the end of the 4th this year I had occasion to see the wealth of fireworks that were going off around the city (and they are illegal in this town). Wealth in both senses. There must have been hundreds of thousands of dollars going up in smoke that night. It was like Bagdad on a bad night. I love fireworks (invented by the Chinese) and they are fun to watch and hear but in the caustic circumstances of a typical 4th they lose connection with the holiday they announce loudly, one that established the birth of a nation and a flag that survived, as the song says, the rocket’s red glare. In a time of trouble the bread and circuses are attended for their own sake. Next year take a tip from me and start the day with a shameless reminder of what the 4th stands for and revel in the exquisite beauty of Buchman and Capra’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

 

July 6, 2006

International Intrigue: Best Foreign Films of the 90s, Part II – You Choose

Filed under: International Intrigue — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:01 am

 

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So two weeks ago I posted my Ten Best Foreign Films of the 90s. And then I asked you all to tell me what I was missing. And here is what you came up with, you clever folks: 

The Top 5 Foreign Films of the 90s (That Didn’t Make My List)

1. DELICATESSEN
Not to sound condescending, but I’m so proud of y’all for choosing this over CITY OF LOST CHILDREN. Many of you noted that DELICATESSEN had a greater impact which I believe. It was the world’s first exposure to Jeunet and his co-director Caro, and it was a bit of kick in the pants. This film is still the most out there and visceral of their oeuvre. It centers around a butcher, who is also the landlord of the building over his shop. His tenants are far from normal in a post-apocalyptic world where food is scarce. As you may imagine, the landlord has some creative ways for taking care of his tenant’s needs as the new janitor Louison (Dominique Pinon) is about to find out. This is a pleasantly disturbing film and one you’ll certainly remember.

2. TRAINSPOTTING
This film was on my original list until I realized I had 11 films and had to get rid of one. I dropped this one because it was a lot more well known than the other films on my list. Well, you guys weren’t having none of it. And rightly so. TRAINSPOTTING was huge upon it’s arrival here and is well-loved. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Although beware some disturbing imagery and ‘potty’ humor. The film, directed by Danny Boyle and based on Irvine Welsh’s novel, is about Renton (Ewan McGregor) and his group of drug addicted cronies — their lives, their ‘loves’, their addictions, their somewhat disturbing hallucinations (ew that baby), and an attempted large money illegal operation. If your wondering why that plot description is a bit lacking, watch the film and you try to summarize it — not easy is it? One of the things that’s so good about it is that you can’t entirely explain what’s so good about it. Just enjoy.

3. CHUNGKING EXPRESS
Wong Kar Wai’s international smash and the film that really introduced this innovative filmmaker to the world. The reason I didn’t include it on my original list is that I like some of WKW’s less touted 90s films better (his genre work like AS TEARS GO BY and ASHES OF TIME), but certainly a lot of people have love for this languid slice of life tale. It is essentially two stories of loneliness. One of Cop 223 (Takeshi Kaneshiro) a recently single fellow, whose story culminates in a mysterious meeting with a woman in a blonde wig (Bridgitte Lin). And Cop 663 (Tony Leung), also recently single, who doesn’t quite realize how big a crush the girl at the food stand (Faye Wong) has on him. Christopher Doyle’s cinematography is always worth the price of admission but the honest performances and simple but sympathetic storylines have turned many a viewer into a certified WKW groupie. And if you find yourself so enchanted then check out the loose prequel DAYS OF BEING WILD and loose sequel FALLEN ANGELS.

4. LA HAINE (HATE)
Mathieu Kassovitz’s black and white politically charged masterpiece is often compared to Spike Lee’s DO THE RIGHT THING. The French feature focuses on Vinz, a Jewish character played by Vincent Cassel, and his Arab friend Said and Black friend Hubert. They are all outsiders and the film represents their struggle against the rascist French police. The film was quite big in France and internationally upon it’s release. But the recent riots in France helped thrust this film back into the spotlight and people have been talking about it quite a lot lately. An emotionally charged viewing experience that any viewer will certainly remember.

5. FESTEN (THE CELEBRATION)
Thomas Vinterberg is not the most well known director to come out of the dogme movement, but this film, the first film that followed the minimalist manifesto, is the most ‘celebrated’ (excuse the pun) of the bunch. An exercise of how much you can do with with a little, the film centers around a 60th birthday party for the family patriarch Helge (Henning Moritzen) when a horrific accusation ruins the festivities and underlies all the relationships in the room. There is a lot of talking heads in this exercise of restraint but it still manages to be largely affecting and introspective.

Most Interesting Suggestions
Some people actually managed to suggest things I hadn’t seen. And these were the most fascinating….

EL DIA DE LA BESTIA (THE DAY OF THE BEAST)
This Spanish cult classic is about a priest who believes the anti-Christ will be born by Christmas. When no one believes him he’s decided to stop it all by himself, forsaking his vows and goodness in the process. And next thing you know you have anything you’ve ever wanted from a gun-totting priest and more. It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s gore-y — Miike through Almodovar’s lense. It may be a bit too weird, a bit too gross but it’s so truly unique and visionary you’ll probably keep watching. It’s hard these days to find anything that is like nothing you’ve seen before, but this film might fit the bill.

MEDITERRANEO
This film was pretty well received (it won an Oscar) and seen by a good amount of folks upon it’s release in 1991. But since I wasn’t watching foreign films yet in 1991, I had never heard of it and as it turns out, it is quite lovely. This Italian film is certainly of a foreign film type — a feel-good touristy romp. This film is equal parts fantasy and comedy with a beautiful setting. It takes place on an island during WW2, where a group of soldiers, being sent there, find the pluses of peace and find themselves and all that. These are some truly fuzzy lovable characters. Sometimes you just want to watch something that’ll make you smile and doesn’t bring you down and also not be stupid and this film should be the first place you look.

MISTER FROST
Well this would seem to be a movie that polarizes people. IMDB tells me the film is in fact from “France/UK” despite the starring presence of Jeff Goldblum. It also stars the always lovely Alan Bates and a whole host of French people. The premise is that a mass murderer (Goldblum) is sent to a mental institution where he’ll only talk to a female psychiatrist (Kathy Bates) and of course he attempts to manipulate her. As it turns out there’s a lot more to him then there seems. That’s vague but I don’t want to give away the ‘twist’ even though they reveal it to you relatively early on. Whether you enjoy this film or not depends a lot on whether you see it as a comedy or a drama and your ability to stand Goldblum at his Goldblumiest. But the film is nothing if not interesting…

The Professional’s Opinions
I know that I’m not the end all of foreign film criticism on the web, although I like to think I am. So here’s the opinion of some of the web’s most prominent bloggers and website maestros on the topic of the Best Foreign Film Of The 90s:

Filmbrain: Sátántangó, Bela Tarr, Hungary (1994)
“To select a single film from a very strong ten-year period was nearly an impossible task. Lars von Trier, Wong Kar-wai, Hou Hsiao Hsien (to name a few) released some of their finest works during the 90s, not to mention the myriad of films from newcomers such as Arnaud Desplechin and Takashi Miike. Yet of the many contenders, there is one film that rises to the surface ““ one that I’ve seen three times, which is quite a feat considering its seven-and-a-half hour length ““ Bela Tarr’s masterpiece, Sátántangó. Don’t let the running time intimidate you ““ this films grabs you from the first shot and doesn’t let go until the very end. And though a black and white portrait of a tiny village in post-Communist Hungary might not sound all that exciting, Tarr manages to create an uneasy tension that sustains itself all the way through. There are images in this film that, once seen, are not soon forgotten. But please, don’t ask about the kitten.”

Todd from Twitch: Jeunet et Caro’s Delicatessen.
“Again, many would point to City of Lost Children as a better film and in many ways I agree that it is, but for some reason Delicatessen just sticks with me in a way that City doesn’t. Domenique Pinon is at his best here and gives the high style of the directors its human heart. Unlike much of City, which is purely cerebral (ha, ha), the human relationships in Delicatessen actually work, which is what I think gives it the edge.”

Thanks for all your e-mails. Even if you suggestion didn’t make the list, many of you have given me fantastic ideas for future columns. There were a lot of Australian films represented in your e-mails (although not enough votes for any one movie for it to make it on here) and that’s certainly something I’ll cover in the future. Anyway, I hope this list will keep you all busy till I demand you watch something else in two weeks time….

 

 

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 64 – Laugh Lines

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:55 am

 

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Did you have a safe and happy Fourth of July, friends? Still got all the fingers you had on the THIRD of July? Here’s hoping.

Things were pretty busy roundabouts here at Chez’ Hembeck, so, begging your indulgence, we’re dipping into the Fred Sez archives once again. This time we feature a little piece I wrote in late 2003. I hope you’ll enjoy it…

Recently, the Bravo network ran several specials presenting what they opined to be the 100 Greatest TV Characters, EVER!

No, I didn’t watch, as I find these sort of things to be invariably frustrating, since at their core, they’re merely an accumulation of some faceless folk’s personal prejudices, and I’d rather not get myself all in an uproar barking at my poor, innocent television screen that, hey, Lucy Ricardo should be the number one choice, not Archie Bunker (yeah, I’ll admit it: I saw a list of the list. Believe me, that was far simpler than slogging through all those hours of clips…)

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Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not susceptible to trying a little of my own List-mania!…

(…as opposed to Lizstomania, that awful Ken Russell flick that had The Who’s Roger Daltrey cast in the title role – with Yes’s Rick Wakeman inexplicably cameoing in a Kirby designed Thor outfit! But THAT’S another topic altogether…)

But my list is simply MY list – and I’m certainly not going to attempt to name the Greatest, the Funniest, and most assuredly not the BEST characters ever to grace the tube. Uh uh. My focus concerns a baker’s dozen of characters who, whenever they show up on my television set, a smile immediately dances across my face, and I confess to pretty much laughing before they even DO anything! Now, these aren’t your beloved Ernie Bilkos, Rob Petries, or Frasier Cranes, all of whom possessed the force of personality to headline some of the best comedies in the medium’s more than half century history. Those comedic personas were inhabited by gifted performers who brought to life and greatly enhanced already top-notch material.

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The list I’M compiling is made up simply of actors (all male as it turns out) who, merely by way of their look, their voice, or their attitude, meant instant chuckles when they moseyed onto the scene. Most were second bananas, most were decidedly odd, and ALL of them still manage to break me up each and every time!

So, in no particular order, and with no additional commentary, I present you with my list of the 13 Characters Who Never Fail To Break Me Up Each And Every Time! (…okay, okay – so the title needs work. Don’t linger – just keep reading…)

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1. Ed Norton (Art Carney, The Honeymooners)

2. Count Floyd (Joe Flaherty, SCTV)

3. Eddie Haskell (Ken Osmond, Leave It To Beaver)

4. Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean)

5. Sgt. Rupert Ritzik/Officer Gunther Toody (Joe E. Ross, Sgt. Bilko/ Car 54, Where Are You?)

6. Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens, Pee Wee’s Playhouse and especially any and all appearances he made while strictly maintaining character guesting on various talk and variety programs)

7. Maynard G. Krebs (Bob Denver, The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis)

8. Reverend Jim (Christopher Lloyd, Taxi)

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9. Sgt. Vince Carter (Frank Sutton, Gomer Pyle, USMC)

10. SpongeBob SquarePants (Voice of Tom Kenny, created by Steve Hillenburg, SpongeBob SquarePants)

11. Soupy Sales (Soupy Sales, The Soupy Sales Show)

12. Ted Baxter (Ted Knight, Mary Tyler Moore Show)

13. Barney Fife (Don Knotts, Andy Griffith Show)

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There you have it – a motley crew of goofballs if ever there was one. Please note that I consolidated Joe E. “Oo! Oo!” Ross’s two roles into one entry, as they were essentially the same character – both married to the same TV wife, and both working for the same producer, the legendary Nat Hiken. This was a unique circumstance, as the glory of Maynard G. Krebs did clearly not carry over for Bob Denver in his role as the just plain moronic Gilligan – and the less said about Ted Knight on Too Close For Comfort, the better!!

Soupy Sales, I realize, isn’t quite a character unto himself, but neither is he a stand-up comic or talk show host, folks I disqualified from consideration right off the bat, but he might just as well have been. Plus, he always, ALWAYS made me laugh, so…

Then there’s Gomer Pyle. He ALMOST made the cut, particularly when he was a supporting character on the Andy Griffith Show, but when he received his own spin-off, his personality became just a bit too candy-coated to be incessantly amusing – but the shift opened the way for the criminally under appreciated Frank Sutton to shine as the perpetually flustered Sgt. Carter. The Pyle show didn’t have the best writing (though they had far from the era’s worst), but the sitcom derived an awful lot of laughs from the pairing of this deliciously mismatched duo!

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And you’ve probably caught on by now, but I really DO like that SpongeBob fella!

Those who just missed making the list include Cosmo Kramer, Homer Simpson, Mr. Fields (Abbott and Costello’s belligerent landlord), Al Lewis’ Sgt. Leo Schnauser, and the Fonz – who would’ve easily earned himself a spot had Happy Days been cancelled after a mere two seasons! Instead, he went on to do that stunt where he jumped the shark, and well – THAT’S a whole ‘another website, one with their OWN set of lists!…

(And on YOUR list of things to do, I’m hoping visiting Hembeck.com (or Fred’s MySpace page, or sending me a personal message) is on or near the very top of it! Or at least not TOO close to the bottom…)

Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review, Equinox

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:21 am
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Equinox BoxSometime in the mid-1960s, Forest J. Ackerman, the editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland, indirectly introduced two of his readers, both aspiring horror filmmakers, to one another. David Allen ran an ad in FM asking to hear from anyone out there interested in stop motion animation. Dennis Muren, living not far away from the home base of FM in the San Gabriel Valley, responded. The two boys visited, became friends, and later collaborated on a low budget film, working under the lowest of low budgets, a mere $6000 dollars, back when $6000 dollars was a lot of money.

They were joined in their enterprise by two others, Mark McGee who lived in Arcadia and had written a screenplay, and Jim Danforth, a specialist in matte screens. All of them were horror and special effects fans, spun in the FM orbit, and loosely met to watch and critique horror films, and to write articles for and distribute ‘zines about their interests.

The boys went about things in an almost traditional manner. They held a casting call, which attracted 50 auditioners, shot the film a la the New Wave, on a 16mm Bolex without direct sound, built sets, created special effects, and even had a “premiere” sometime around 1966 to 1967. But far from being an instant calling card into Hollywood, the resultant film, Equinox: A Journey Into the Supernatural, and its makers went no where for several years. Eventually, however, Muren was able to place it in the hands of Jack H. Harris, who did some re-editing and re-shooting, adding a few new characters and requiring the old cast to find the clothes they wore during the shoot two years earlier. The new Equinox made its debut in 1970 and received wider distribution starting in 1971.

The Equinox team

It became a cult; but also rather difficult to see, unless one spent a lot of time up late watching movies on television in cities that had many, many channels. It became a cult probably because its special effects harked back to the style of Ray Harryhausen, and because it represented an act of will by the boys, who would not settle for being simply fans. McGee went on, after a long hiatus, to write screenplays for such as Stepmonster. Danforth, who had some 20 credits before Equinox, went on to work on over 60 films, while the late David Allen worked on Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and Young Sherlock Holmes. Muren hitched up with George Lucas and worked on the Star Wars films, and with Industrial Light and Magic won six Oscars, for The Abyss among many others.

As a late night film, Equinox must also have influenced other aspirant filmmakers. Among them may have been Sam Raimi or some of his Michigan collaborators who worked on The Evil Dead with him. The stories are quite similar, though the difference in tone between the two films shows how much the world and cinema changed between 1967 and 1981. In Equinox, four youths embark on a trip to the woods to meet a college professor. But the prof has gone mad, and they take off his body a Book of the Damned, which apparently is the cause of his demise. The four youths then find themselves victim to numerous preying monsters and demons, which try to possess or kill them. Only one escapes, and in the ’71 version’s book ends, David Fielding (played by Skip Shimer, credited as Edward Connell in his only role) makes his way to the highway, like Kevin McCarthy in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (a film that McGee had seen almost 100 times), and himself ends up in the madhouse.

Famous Monsters cover

Some filmmakers might find it embassassing to have so amateurish a work resurface late in life (Kubrick and now his estate won’t let anyone see Fear and Desire). But with Equinox it’s a fascinating peek into a an enclosed world of fans, privileged knowledge, and specialization. Equinox‘s acting is uneven, the special effects are obvious, the script is frequently incoherent. But they did it. The kids actually made a movie. Such serendipity makes me pine for the pre-internet days of horror magazines such as Famous Monsters and Castle of Frankenstein, and the first real ‘zines, mimeographed at home or at school and mailed to a small list of 100 or less “subscribers.” We are talking about kids who were very, very serious about thier fandom. It was harder to be a fan, and a Darwinian imperitive separated the wheat from the chaff. Only those with great drive, determination, and selfishness (don’t fora minute think that nerds are passive, feckless weaklings: amonst themselves they can be as aggressive, harsh and bullying as any random grouping of atheletes). Today, relatively speaking, it is easy to be a fan, and in fact the culture encourages it, as a profitable economy. In the late 1950s and early 1960s, lines of communication were limited and the films themselves were hard to watch. It is no coincidence that ’50s fandom rose along with TV and drive-ins, venues that gave the kids something to be fans of. At the same time, though, the buffs with the ‘zines wanted to do something with their fandom, wirte books, make movies, fashion horrific faces out of plastic or bring to fruition fantasies of space flight.

The Criterion Collection has a knack for singling out cheap horror films that have a pervasive influence on the film culture while themselves being forgotten, films such as Carnival of Souls, which influenced Night of the Living Dead. If Equinox influenced Raimi (and it is not at all clear that it did, since the premise is a common enough idea), than it helped gave birth to a number of important careers and films among its Michigan film geek viewers. Equinox (The Criterion Collection, No. 338, 1967, 1970, 82 minutes and 71 minutes, color, NR, full frame, DD mono in English with English subtitles, animated musical menu with 18-chapter scene selection. 16 for the 1967 version, 32-page insert with chapter titles, transfer info, pix, credits, and essays by George Lucas, Ray Harryhausen, and Brock DeShane, keep case, two discs, $39.95, released on Tuesday, June 20, 2006) is for fans, specialists, and historians only. Muren calls Equinox a “fossil.” I don’t think that a “regular” viewer stumbling upon it is going to get much out of the film. But a dedicated fan will enjoy the two versions of the movie, and the commentaries that go with them (Viewing Tip: watch the original version first, and then the re-editied mass-distributed version), plus all the extras.

Fritz Leiber

The 1970 commentary track is by veteran writer-co-director Jack Woods and producer Jack H. Harris. For the 1967 version, effects photographer, producer, and director Dennis Muren, writer-codirector Mark McGee, and matte artist, cel animator, and effects techinican Jim Danforth chat, though in two edited-together tracks. In this track, we learn that Robin Snider, billed as Robin Christopher, and who played Vickie, was a childhood friend of Stevie Nicks and influenced some of the songs she wrote. And we learn that part of the film was shot in Bronson Canyon, and it is clear that Equinox uses the same cave that Ford uses at the end of The Searchers. Also in the cast were the then Barbara Hewitt, later a Rose Queen and now a minister, as well as Frank Boers, Jr., later known as Frank Bonner and a cast member of WKRP in Cincinnati. We also learn why science fiction writer Fritz Leiber, of all people, appears in the film as Dr. Arthur Waterman. Disc round also includes a video introduction by Forrest J Ackerman.

Dennis MurenDisc two features a video interview with Muren, and an edited assembly of interview segments with of the actors from the show, Bonner, Hewitt, and James Duron. “Monstrous Origins” includes outtakes, deleted scenes (include a pool-side party scene that features a vixen worthy of Russ Meyer), and some monster test footage. Zorgon: The H-Bomb Beast from Hell, from 1972, is a silent eight and a half minute short film with some of the same people who worked on Equinox, plus Rick Baker. “David Allen Appreciation” is a section of the disc that contains The Magic Treasure, an early animated fairy tale by Allen, which comes with a textual history, and Allen’s King Kong homage Volkswagen commercial, plus test footage. “Equiphemera” gathers together an exhaustive gallery of stills, on set shots, promotional material, and so forth, under the headings, Origins of *The Equinox, On Location, Designing the Demonic: Special Effects, Publicity and Promotion, Beyond the Barrier, David Allen’s Kong, and Buried **Treasure. The final grouping, “Trailer and Radio Spots,” contains one 1970 trailer and two radio ads.

Equinox Poster
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