Category: TV Or Not TV

  • TV Or Not TV: 5/10 – 5/16

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    After recently spending some quiet ‘me’ time I was finally able to catch up on ABC’s floundering FLASHFORWARD. Since the show came back from its long winter break I’d only watched two episodes so I felt as though I hadn’t really given it all that much of a chance.

    When FLASHFORWARD premiered I really enjoyed the first few episodes and I thought the show had a lot of promise. The gimmick was good and in many ways the show really seemed like the heir apparent to the LOST throne. Some how though the show really lost its steam prior to taking the winter break. I’m not sure if that was from having us involved in too many stories, taking us in to many directions, or just a lack of cohesive thought in the writing process. Whatever it was I wasn’t the only one to pick up on these things because the show had a pretty big shake up in it’s creative team during the break.

    After coming back from the winter break the show seemed determined to really get down to business. They instantly established the fact that another world wide blackout may be coming (OH NO!) and the show gave us something we were missing prior to the break: real bad guys that the characters would eventually have to deal with. In taking a page from X-FILES and LOST they’ve kept the bad guys mysterious, made them seem real organized, and kept us virtually in the dark as to who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. It’s something that the show was really missing and it’s a welcome addition. The recent addition of James Callis to the cast as a secret flash forward experiment victim who has all kinds of possible futures locked up in his head is probably the one story line I want to see them follow because his performance is so opposite that of BALTAR from the re-imagined BATTLESTAR GALACTICA that it’s just brilliant.

    There are still some things that just don’t seem to work right and a few missed opportunities, if you were to ask me. The story of the kidnapped daughter in the middle east is one that I just don’t have a lot of interest in. The doctor with cancer who is waiting to find his Asian lady love? Yawn. Taking the hope that the futures we saw aren’t set in stone and making us question if it can really be possible? Predictable.  Having an episode air on April 29th and not have it co-incide with the show’s timeline of the day of the flash, also April 29th? Meta fail.

    All-in-all, however, I can really say with a degree of confidence that the show is actually worth the time to watch, especially in this latter half of the season. There is real momentum week to week and it really gives you a reason to watch instead of just making you watch to avoid missing some small detail that may be relevant later.

    SNL

    This past Saturday I think that SNL might actually be able to learn something from the Internet since the show featuring BETTY WHITE was probably the best episode of the entire 2009-2010 season. For the majority of this season watching SNL has been bitter-sweet as I’ve been looking for the ‘good sketch’ needle in a haystack of unfunny. I suppose even saying that it has just been this season is a bit of a stretch as well since the majority of last season was the same for me. Still, week after week, I DVR the show with the hopes that I push enough straw of funny out of the way to find that gleaming and sharp needle of funny that everyone is going to be talking about. All of that changed with BETTY WHITE.

    First and foremost BETTY WHITE has (literally) had a lifetime of experience to finely tune her comedic timing to the point where I believe it is second nature. Her finely tuned comedic timing coupled with her mature and maternal grandmother facade make her a one two punch that I think just about any writer would be hard pressed to NOT make her funny. With this show there were close calls, two awkward ones in my opinion, where the premise was pushing it or BETTY seemed slightly out of sorts but even in those instances you were more forgiving because BETTY WHITE’s presence is so powerful you just didn’t care.

    Another reason why I think that this episode of SNL was so good had to do with almost every major female cast member from the last 10 years returning for this special installment. I’m sure that this returning group has a certain affect in the writing room of the show that helped contribute to what, perceived by me, was a higher caliber of show quality. I also strongly suspect that this installment of the show had the benefit of lots of preparation in the way of writing being done well in advance instead of the usual writings as they go that I believe happens during regular production of the show. I only hope that there was something to be learned from the entire BETTY WHITE experiment and the forthcoming season finale with ALEC BALDWIN sends this season off in a good way.

    Now let’s see what TV holds for us this week.

    MONDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: CHRISTOPHER LLOYD drops in as a therapist to help CHUCK deal with his head. Hopefully he’s more Doc Brown than Jim Ignatowski (oh heck, I’d take a nice merge of both).

    CBS – 8:00 PM: The gang on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER crash a swank New York party. I sense some stunt casting in this one.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: CASTLE has to struggle for attention from BECKETT now that DEMMING is hanging around. Speaking of which has ABC got option contracts on most of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA cast?

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: OK AMERICAN IDOL this whole mentoring thing has got to stop. JAMIE FOXX mentoring the remaining contestants on singing songs from movies? Really? Now you’re stretching it. Why not RUSSELL CROWE, BILLY BOB THORTON or KEANU REAVES? They’ve all got bands, they just didn’t play a singer in a movie. Oh, wait, you want someone else who did the whole singer biopic thing? Bring in JOAQUIN PHOENIX instead or maybe DENNIS QUAID?

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight we see the touching story of When JACOB met SMOKEY on a very special episode of LOST.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: OK, let me get this straight: KURT tries to butch it up, PUCK shaves the mohawk and RACHEL can’t sing on tonight’s episode of GLEE? Wow, this doesn’t scream filler at all!

    WEDNESDAY

    TheCW – 8:00 PM: OMG! It’s the two hour finale of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL and I’ve not watched a single episode! Why start now, right?

    BC – 9:00 PM: OK, this week the MODERN FAMILY actually gets to Hawaii instead of just travelling there and just like last week I’m rooting for PHIL to find the cursed tiki idol to make my world complete.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: MERCY has it’s season finale tonight and it’s ranked in my viewing schedule just behind AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. Oh well.

    THURSDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: The penultimate (kind of) episode of SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS airs and we I’m wondering if RUSSELL makes it to the end or did PARVARTI eat him alive?

    TheCW – 8:00 PM: It’s spooky night done right on TheCW with the season finale of THE VAMPIRE DIARIES followed by the looming apocalypse on SUPERNATURAL.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: Tonight is all filler on THE OFFICE until next week’s return of KATHY BATES.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Wow, I could use penultimate twice tonight because the the first part of the FRINGE season finale is tonight as well. It’s a two parter so next week won’t make much sense without tonight but it’s still the next to last episode to air for the season so I’m saying it’s the penultimate. I sure hope I’m using that word right.

    FRIDAY

    TheCW – 8:00 PM: Well we’ve waited all season to find out just how CLARK is going to deal with the Kandorians on SMALLVILLE and it’s finally here. The solution he sought and found last week results in all Kyrptonians being banished from Earth so I’m dreading a finale where it seems that CLARK is gone (again).

    CBS – 9:00 PM: I only bring up tonight’s episode of MEDIUM because I once again wanted to say penultimate. So yeah, this is the penultimate episode for what could be the final season of the series.

    SATURDAY

    BBCAMERICA – 8:00 PM: OK, so maybe your TARDIS was a bit wibbly-wobbly and you missed last week’s first part of this awesome two-parter of DOCTOR WHO. Guess what? Tune in at this time and you can catch THE TIME OF ANGELS before the 9:00 PM airing of the second part FLESH AND STONE. Two hours I have no fear in recommending.

    NBC – 11:30 PM: How do you follow-up the stellar BETTY WHITE performance on SNL? Two words folks: ALEC ‘MOTHER TRUCKIN’ BALDWIN.

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Grab a bowl of popcorn and sit down as CBS tries to dominate the night with the season finale of SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS. After the two hour finale you can even stick around for the reunion special right after.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The FOX network refuses to bow before SURVIVOR by rolling out another appearance of SIDESHOW BOB on tonight’s episode of THE SIMPSONS.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: The explosive season finale of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES hits as we see LYNETTE finally learns the down side of befriending a serial killer and the entire BOLEN business is finally put to rest.

    HBO – 9:00 PM: It’s the final episode of the amazing World War II miniseries THE PACIFIC tonight. I hope no one spoils how it ends for me!

    ABC – 10:00 PM: You hear that folks? It’s my sigh of relief at the fact that another season of BROTHERS & SISTERS comes to a close and I know there’s one less show on the DVR that I won’t be watching.

  • TV Or Not TV: I Vote YES for The Candidate (LOST)

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    Before I delve into anything about the May 4th episode of LOST I just have to say that there was some very surprising news that I almost didn’t hear on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE later that same night. I’ve been a long time fan of KIMMEL but haven’t watched or DVR’d the show for a long time because I work and already can’t watch all the TV I’ve already got on my plate (another reason to get the HD TiVO already so I can go portable too!). Yesterday, however, Executive Producer of LOST Damon Lindelof sent out the following Tweet:

    Sorry, that’s the one I read in my head after watching THE CANDIDATE. The real Tweet was:

    JORGE GARCIA was a guest and just at the close of the interview, almost drowned out by the cheers of the crowd and the band as they go to commercial KIMMEL made the special announcement that LOST’s climax would not take up two hours of television programming time that night. It would actually take up 2 and a half hours of programming time. Yup, the series finale just got 22 minutes longer folks because (I’m assuming and hoping) they just couldn’t cram that much awesome into the time they were given.

    Now that we’ve gotten that bit of business out of the way, and since I’m sure you’ve already heard or read the news about the finale, let’s move on to taking a look at what happened on the 14th episode of this final season titled THE CANDIDATE. As always I remind you that I write this with the assumption that you are reading this because you’ve already seen the episode so if you haven’t this is your final warning.

    I was really looking forward to sitting down today and writing out the fact that I in fact hit the nail on the head with a prediction I had made. I was all excited and I went back to find out what column I had written it in and much to my own horror it turns out that I never actually seemed to write it. This really bummed me out so let me now tell you the words that I could have sworn that I put down in print.

    I don’t like to speculate on what is coming up but I really hope that the ‘Candidates’ don’t some how get tricked into going along with whatever UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE has planned. He’s not ‘allowed’ to kill the candidates so this means that he probably wants and needs to kill the candidates. Every time he says he needs them all to get off the ISLAND the part of the sentence that I hear him purposely leaving out is the word ‘dead’ after all and before to get off the ISLAND.

    I don’t know what article I completely abandoned and discarded some time after writing that but oh how I wish I still had it to present to you as proof that I saw this one coming. Explained as simply as the way I had before pressing the delete button it’s pretty clear, right? At least I did say in this week’s column for recommendations that with the remaining number of episodes of LOST there was a high probability of an important character body count increase this week, so there’s one for the win column.

    Yes, that’s right those of you who didn’t take my warning and have no idea what happened in THE CANDIDATE, main characters died. I knew it was going to happen the very moment that UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE handed JACK his backpack that the previously seen explosives were going to be in that backpack. If UN-LOCKE had a big bad guy soup handle mustache when he handed that backpack over he would have been twirling it with one finger and saying “mwuahahaha” under his breath.

    So with most of our favorite LOST-ies stuck in a submarine they found the bomb and did everything wrong. SAYID took a final shot at redemption by grabbing the bomb and running to the other side of the sub before he was blown to bits (which makes sense because SAYID is so bad ass he HAD to go out in a blaze of glory). Our favorite pilot FRANK took a flying door to the face and JIN stayed with SUN after she was trapped behind debris proving that true love means staying with someone so you both can die together. I personally would have had JIN try to break my hip or pelvis so I could be pried out from behind the wreckage but clearly it was time to lighten the load.

    This show did leave me with a lot of questions, but not in the usual LOST sense. I wouldn’t say I’m pondering plot holes however there are certain things that don’t add up to me.

    • After SAYID some how gets through the sonic fence he cuts the generator power so all the LOST-ies can be un-caged after UN-LOCKE as SMOKEY JOE takes care of the guards. Shortly after there are two guards at the plane. Why didn’t SMOKEY JOE just go all kinds of nuts and make a clean sweep of the whole smaller ISLAND?
    • JACK figured the bomb couldn’t go off because UN-LOCKE can’t kill any of them. Just like the stick of dynamite he shared with RICHARD ALPERT he’s convinced that nothing will happen. (Think of it like a mathproblem LOCKE can’t kill Candidate and LOCKE makes bomb so LOCKE BOMB can’t kill Candidate). SAWYER doesn’t believe him, pulls the leads, and the timer stops only to quickly speed up (No Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!). How is tampering with a bomb different then JACK lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite if he too can’t kill himself? I have to believe that JACK’s logic was somewhat flawed because he was able to get out of the situation alive so the magic voodoo power of the ISLAND or whatever didn’t need to intercede. This could mean that JACK is probably going to be there to the very end (and doesn’t bode well for SAWYER since he pulled the wires and ka-BOOM!). This is kind of funny to think about since the original intention was to kill JACK at the end of the show’s PILOT episode.
    • Where the hell was CHARLES WIDMORE after the first five minutes? Did he know that LOCKE was coming and made way for the main ISLAND to try to fulfill his electronmagnetic dreams?

    The flash-sidewayswhateveritis also pointed out something else that, if allowed to play out, won’t bode very well for flash-sidewayswhateveritis SAWYER since he still has a blood feud with ANTHONY COOPER who it now turns out is a vegetable. Sorry SAWYER, no revenge for you in the other dimension/reality/confusion. This also is the only real revelation to come out of the flash-sidewayswhateveritis other than the fact that LOCKE mutters things about the ISLAND in his sleep and once again JACK is found to be looking into a mirror, this time that of the music box his father left CLAIRE.

    Just as many on the Internet have suspected it’s pretty clear that SAYID didn’t in fact kill DESMOND. His little speach about leaving something in a well caused millions of female viewers to cheer all at once.

    The one thing that was nice to see was something we haven’t really seen in a while on LOST: actual mourning. After escaping the submarine of doom the quartet of Hurley, Jack, Sawyer and Kate now realize that from all of flight 815 they are all that is left. They’ve just lost two definite friends, 1 kinda friend and 1 dude they shared a secret with. They break down. They cry. All of them (well, except Sawyer because he got bonked on the head and is out of it). It was nice to finally show these characters have a real moment after all hell broke loose. They’re usually running around and dealing with seven types of crazy so they haven’t really had these moments recently. Nice touch.

    That’s all I’ve really got to reflect on this week folks. Next week’s episode is titled ACROSS THE SEA and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an AB AETERNO style flashback look at the life of JACOB and UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE, which is perfectly timed since it’s pretty clear now that even though JACOB isn’t a saint SMOKEY JOE is pretty much THE bad guy.

    See you next week!

  • TV Or Not TV: 5/3 – 5/9

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    More often than not I sit down to write this column and I have to face down the biggest and hardest part of the entire part: finding something intelligent to say about something on television. This can be anything from a breakdown/analysis of what is happening on one of my favorite shows to my take over-all on the direction I see something taking, whatever that thing may in fact be. I toil over this portion because I, unlike many of my print oriented (and some web based) piers, don’t receive early reviewer copies of any of the shows. It can be a bit of an uphill battle but at times I get struck in the head with a bit of an idea that I’m able to run with and I walk away happy. This isn’t one of those weeks.

    The truth be told I keep finding less and less time to watch television. Lately I had been literally wasting hours on the weekend to get caught up on the TV shows that I’m interested in watching. For the past two weekends, however, I’ve actually been getting off the of the couch and doing things so I’ve cut down my viewing time even more. I’m a TV critic that has very little time right now to watch TV. What, than, am I to write about?

    When I think about that last question the first thing that comes in to my mind is the upcoming end of LOST. A saga is coming to a close with only five hours remaining to be seen, ever. The show leaves me in the same place that I have always been, the same place that the title implies. I’m clueless on where the show is going or what, in fact, is going on. I really want, at this point, to have a better clue of what it is that is happening. The past two seasons did a wonderful job of filling us in by creating their own little mini-mysteries that they answered in a well paced fashion. When it comes to this last season, however, I’m almost tired from all of it. I don’t want the stories to confuse me, I just want them to amaze me and make sense. I’m still thoroughly enjoying the show but it requires far too much attention and effort to keep up with. From the outside looking in I can understand why it is a show that my wife just can’t stand. I’ve come this far on the journey, however, so I’m in it for the full haul. I’m also hoping this week really has some good stuff in it so I have more to write about as the week progresses.

    Since I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t have much to highlight up here let’s actually travel below where we can find out what it is that we might or might not want to watch this week, shall we?

    MONDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: The Fred Willard TV tour continues as he pops up on this week’s CHUCK along side Swoosie Kurtz (whose name still sounds like a form of sea sickness to me) playing a husband and wife CIA team. All the real TV critics say their performance tonight is stellar.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: After all of the drama surrounding the upcoming World Dwarf Games on LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG WORLD last week Matt drops the bombshell that he won’t be able to travel to Belfast for the first few days of the game. The nerve!

    CBS – 9:00 PM: Sheldongoest to extreme measures to keep Leonard and Penny happy once they stop speaking to one another on tonight’s BIG BANG THEORY. Apparently ‘extreme measures’ means time-shifting the show into the slot that TWO ANDA HALF MEN usually occupies.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Jack Bauer stops at nothing to avenge Renee‘s death on 24. OK, maybe it was Jack who pushed BIG BANG THEORY back 30 minutes because he can do anything.

    BRAVO – 10:00 PM: You would think after seeing themselves on television last year THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEYwould have considered some slight attitude adjustments. Change who they are? Fahgedaboudit!

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on AMERICAN IDOL we find Harry Conick Jr. mentoring the five finalists on singing the songs of Frank Sinatra, and an entire generation is lost wondering who either of those people are.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: I know I talk about THE BIGGEST LOSERevery single week but if you are not happy about your weight and you want inspiration then tune in tonight because it’s the makeover show. These people get spruced up and we get assaulted with tons of before and after pics. I would almost guarantee instant inspiration and motivation.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, I know I also talk about LOST just about every week it is on but seriously folks, we’re down to the last five hours of this show…. ever…. the body count has to start going up, right? Oh, and if you’ve never watched a single episode of LOST you really may get a kick out of THIS BLOG where the writer is someone watching this final season without seeing a single episode prior. Great for fans and non-fans alike. So enjoyable I just re-read it and lost 25 minutes that I could have been writing this column with. Damn!

    FOX – 9:00 PM: I seriously have no idea what is going on with GLEE this week. Sue is singing again plus Olivia-Newton John is a special guest (again, a generation wonders who she is and I cry a little inside).

    WEDNESDAY

    A&E – 8:00 AM: Can anyone tell me why there’s an all day marathon of BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR?

    FOX – 9:00 PM: If my prayers have been answered then tonight when Harry Conick Jr. and Lady Gaga perform on AMERICAN IDOL it will be in duet form in the most PICASSO inspired visual performance the world has ever seen! This will, however, not be the night my prayers have been answered.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Gloria invites the entire family on a trip to Hawaii on tonight’s MODERN FAMILY. Not since The Brady Bunch have I looked this forward to a Hawaiin getaway. Please someone tell me that Phil finds a cursed tiki doll!

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The circle of literature life is complete as the author of the books BONES was based upon pens the script for tonight’s episode.

    NBC – 8:00 PM:An on-campus paintball competition unleashes the dogs of war in the most glorious and loving paradoy of action films ever seen on a sitcom on tonight’s COMMUNITY. No wonder this show received an early renewal.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Why lie? I’m two week’s behind on SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS and I have no idea what’s going on with the show currently. Even after that admission I have no fear is saying it’s still possibly the best season of SURVIVOR ever.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Someone visits from ‘the other side’ on tonight’s episode of FRINGE. How awesome would it be if it were just some random file clerk named Gary who has no idea he’s even in a different reality/universe?

    MTV – 10:00 PM: Four Finnish fellows take over the Jackass mantle as they abuse themselves for your pleasure in THE DUDESONS IN AMERICA. Before you write it off as a Jackass rip-off I should tell you the show is executive produced by Johhny Knoxeville himself so think of it as a companion show where he gets smart and pays other people to risk body and health.

    FRIDAY

    TheCW – 8:00 PM: Mama Kent returns to SMALLVILLE and she’s dating PERRY WHITE! Oh yeah, CLARKalso searshes for a way to deal with the Kandorians… still.

    CBS – 9:00 PM: Ariel loses days and years of time and has to someone look to her future self for the way to get back to the past on tonight’s MEDIUM. I know, it makes no sense to me either.

    STARZ – 10:00 PM: After last week’s charity auction it will be nice to see the PARTY DOWN team get back to a more wholesome and relatable gathering like the orgy they cater tonight. Wait, what?

    SATURDAY

    TLC – 2:00 PM: June bride’s who might be wanting a break from their impending nuptials may want to stay away from five straight hours of SAY YES TO THE DRESS. Wait until 6:00 PM so you can watch in horror at 8 straight hours of TODDLERS & TIARAS.

    SYFY – 9:00 PM: I’m dying to know what network executive heard the title of the movie MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM and thought, “Oh yeah, that’s movie GOLD!”

    NBC – 11:30 PM: The Internet demanded it so ladies and gentlemen SNL proudly presents to you tonight’s special guest host Betty White!

    SUNDAY

    DHC – 5:00 PM: Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like a marathon of I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT. It’s nice to see that someone at Discovery Health has a sense of humor.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: THE AMAZING RACE 16 comes to a close and I can only say, “I never watched you.”

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Mo writes letters to the vacationing Homer,Rev. Lovejoy and Apu that he will run away with one of their wives on this special Mother’s Day edition of THE SIMPSONS.

    CBS – 9:00 PM: Tom Selleck returns for his sixth time to TV as the title character in JESSE STONE: NO REMORSE. Why oh why can’t they do a Magnum, P.I. reunion instead?

    A&E 9:30 PM: On GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS I’m more than a bit shocked that Gene accepts an invitation to compete on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

    ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, in all seriousness, John Barrowman‘s character Patrick on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES really gives me the creeps.

  • TV Or Not TV: 4/26 – 5/2

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    When I first heard of the new ABC creepy-mystery-drama show I was hopeful just based on the cast. SAM NEILL, AMY ACKER, FRANCES CONROY and STEVEN WEBER are probably the most noteable and all have done great projects in the passed. NEILL’s performance definitely stands out but after watching this first episode I suppose I should add “confusing” to my hyphenated description of the show above.

    HAPPY TOWN is the nickname of Haplin, Minnesota where the show takes place. It’s a picturesque small town where everyone is civil, friendly and the town has no crime. The local bread factory employs over 10% of the townsfolk and give the town itself the scent of down home goodness. All of this, however, is simply window dressing on the surface. Wipe away the facade and you start to delve into a world that quickly confused me and required me to go back and view things again because I thought I must be getting set up with things I’m supposed to remember later.

    If you sit down to watch this first episode as well you will quickly become familiar with each of the key players in town. How do I know this? The main reason is the excessive exposition that each character gives when introduced to town newcomer HENLEY BOONE who has come to town to open a candle shop. This gives her the unfortunate job of being our proxy and having to meet each of these individuals that fall short of giving their complete biography.

    As the show progresses the confusion sets in. SAM NEILL lives in a boardinghouse where the third floor is off limits. The commercials elude to the town boogeyman which they have named THE MAGIC MAN who was responsible for citizens of the town dissapearing five yeras earlier, who may be returning. The town sheriff keeps mumbling the name CHLOE to himself. Where is all of this going?

    The biggest mystery of all for me is the fact that this first season of the show only has an 8 episode run. This in itself is an unusual number in television. It either speaks well of the show or bad of the executives at ABC that the first run was given an initial order greater than the standard 6. Regardless I’m sure ABC is hoping for a hit since, based on recent ratings, the network hasn’t found the heir to the LOST throne in either FLASHFORWARD or V. Either way it’s only 8 episodes, so I say based on this the show is at least worth checking out.

    HAPPY TOWN has it’s premiere at 10 PM this Wednesday, April 28th, on ABC.

    Now let’s look at what else the week holds.

    MONDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Sarah and CHUCK take on a bunch of baddies while taking a train ride through Europe. The best part? Morgan is teamed up with Casey to try and find the two love birds. Expect lots of Casey grunting.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: Matt appoints himself the manager of Zach‘s World Dwarf Games soccer team and a disagreement over sponsorship may jeopardize Amy‘s position as a Dwarf Athletic Association board member on LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG WORLD. It just goes to show that no matter what the sport politics always comes in to play.

    DISC – 8:00 PM: If nothing else interests you on a Monday nigth how about three hours of MYTHBUSTERS? At least something really gets blown up, right?

    The CW – 9:00 PM: I don’t normally watch GOSSIP GIRL but tonight has special guest William Baldwin on so I figured it was worth noting. Carry on.

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Pop quiz hot shot: you have six contestants left on AMERICAN IDOL who are being mentored by Shania Twain and then have to perform her music. Most of America can’t name six of her hits. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? (I’m hoping Big Mike sings Man! I Feel Like a Woman!). All kidding aside I wonder if Bowersox can actually find a tune to click with this week?

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I’ve never watched on day of DANCING WITH THE STARS but with the results show tonight the contestants have a swing dance competion. As a fan of Big Bad VodDoo Daddy I wouldn’t mind hearing and seeing some good swing.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Yes my usual mentioning of THE BIGGEST LOSER is almost obligatory at this point because regardless of what they make the contestants do it’s still so gripping to see what they go through.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: GLEE already had me at Kurt trying to fix up his dad with Finn‘s mom, but add to the mix the return of KRISTIN CHENOWITH? I’ll be glued to my seat. I still have to wonder though how these other kids in the school never get annoyed by the GLEE member singing all over the halls. If it was my high school I’d have been beat down within minutes.

    MTV – 10:00 PM: I don’t watch THE HILLS but the title of the final season’s premiere tonight is titled Put On a Happy Face, which is exactly what Heidi‘s plastic surgeon did for her. Now the only way to get her mouth to frown is to make her do a head stand.

    WEDNESDAY

    ABC – 9:00 PM: If you were amazed during the holiday season to only see the top of Fred Willard‘s head on MODERN FAMILY and were craving more than your pay off is tonight as Phil‘s dad drops in for a visit.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: OK, I made fun of AMERICAN IDOL too soon. Turns out the stunt casting of mentor Shania Twain was to try to suck in all of the New Country fans out there. Furthering the movement? Lady Antebellum and Rascal Flatts perform on tonight’s results show. Very tricky IDOL. Very tricky indeed.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: Yeah, remember up top where I spetn quite a few paragraphs talking about HAPPY TOWN? Here it is.

    NBC – 10:00 PM: Can someone tell me how I had no idea that Sharon Stone was starting a four week special guest-star stint on LAW & ORDER: SVU?

    THURSDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: All is right in the universe again as we get all new episode of COMMUNITY, PARKS AND RECREATION, THE OFFICE and special guest star Will Forte on tonigth’s episode of 30 ROCK.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Two swing votes hang in the balance at tribal council on tonight’s SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS.

    FRIDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: The final installment of WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? has Spike Lee looking deeper into his family history.

    The CW – 8:00 PM: Anytime SMALLVILLE has an episode title like Sacrifice you just have to worry a little bit if everyone is going to come out alive by the episode end.

    CBS – 9:00 PM: Allison has a high-tech alarm installed after a neighbor his killed and she thinks the alarm may be communicating with her daughter Marie. Is this MEDIUM or a precursor to SKYNET?

    SATURDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I only mention tonight’s airing of MEET THE FOCKERS because I always get a kick out of saying that Barbara Streisand is a real Mother Focker.

    BBCA – 9:00 PM: The really brilliant part of tonight’s DOCTOR WHO is Ian McNeice as Winston Churchill. The bit about that enemy from the Doctor‘s past wasn’t the best for me but it was still good TV all around. If nothing else the previews for next week’s episode The Time of Angels are a good reason to see it through.

    ABC FAMILY – 10:00 PM: Seriously, can someone please tell me how BILLY MADISON has any business being shown on a channel touting family values? I know, it’s not a puritan network or anything but still!

    SUNDAY

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Remember back in the sitcom days of old where the main characters would get stuck in a locked basement/office/meat locker and then they’d talk about all the fun times (and we’d see all the old clips)? Tonight FAMILY GUY does that with Brian and Stewie in a bank vault.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Torchwood fans will be happy to know that they get more John Barrowman on tonight’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES as we see him finally catch up with Angie. Oh yeah, Lynette invited a psychopath to live with her, I’m sure that will play out well this week.

    DISNEY – 9:00 PM: I don’t know what it is about MEET THE ROBINSONS that makes it one of my preferred of the Disney CGI films but if your kids are up late they may enjoy this one too.

    A&E – 9:30 PM: If you’re like me you’ve always wondered what it would be like to see Gene Simmons in a bayou, right? If so than GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS seeks to fill our minds with wonder (and blatanlty scripted reality).

  • TV Or Not TV: 4/19 – 4/25

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    Wow, what a week of TV we had.

    Welcome one and all to another bleak week of television!

    Every year I look at what my television viewings are this year and every time I”m a little bit at a loss for words.  At first I’m flabbergasted, then miffed, and finally I come to accept the schedule for what it is because I realize it’s that awkward period between the Nielsen ratings sweeps period. This particular lull is the one that falls right before the big sweeps period that pretty well dictates what the networks can charge for the advanced advertising sales on their shows for the upcoming fall season. Right now we’re one the precipice of that period.

    This is also a very painful period for me to write about television but it isn’t completely because of the lull. There’s not a lot of television that I’m really interested in watching currently. I’m sure part of the problem has been my fascination with getting caught up on the revival of DOCTOR WHO. This obsession, thankfully, is nearing an end thanks to my being well into the fourth series of the show and I’m about to move on to the specials that lead up to DAVID TENNANT’s leaving of the title roll.

    Speaking of the good DOCTOR now that the US premiere of the latest iteration of DOCTOR WHO has aired on BBC AMERICA I’m more free to talk about my likes and dislikes about the episode, of which there are many more of the former over the latter.

    I’d like to start by getting my complaint out of the way. The only thing I truly didn’t enjoy about this episode was the very opening of it as the TARDIS is hurtling through the skies of London and leading the DOCTOR to his next adventure. It was a bit on the slapstick side for me and it is the only part of the episode that just didn’t seem to fit in for me. I’d much rather have had a cold opening of young AMELIA POND praying to SANTA to take the crack out of her wall. There, I’ve said my piece on that. Let’s move on.

    The tone and humor in the new episode is something that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed upon multiple viewings. This new DOCTOR, acted by MATT SMITH, has a very kinetic cadence that plays well both verbally and physically. I had no problem at all accepting that he is now the DOCTOR and for that I think MR. SMITH should be commended. He understands the big shoes that the roll itself has and he fills them well.

    Another aspect that I really like about this new series is that in choosing his new companion the DOCTOR isn’t simply plucking someone out of their ordinary life into extraordinary circumstances. We meet AMELIA POND, or AMY as she is later known in the episode, in a manner reminiscent of new head writer STEPHEN MOFFAT’s series 2 episode THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE (yes, I know, I’ve covered this a bit before). AMELIA meets the DOCTOR at an early age and his presence has a very big impact on the young girl. TARDIS instability makes the DOCTOR’s promised five minute trip into 12 years and we can tell, after we have our bearings on who is who, that AMY has gone through a lot to cope with her first occurrence of the DOCTOR. Unlike other companions, however, she’s also had elements of this alien life around her for the greater part of her life as PRISONER ZERO hid in a room within her own home. She hasn’t just been exposed to greater universe, she’s been thrust into it for quite some time and the impact it has had runs deep.

    After multiple viewing I also have to question what direction the relationship between this DOCTOR and his companion will go. AMY has been obsessed with the DOCTOR for quite some time. She’s drawns cartoons of him, she’s made dolls of him and in a weird move  she’s even made her “sort of” boyfriend RORY dress up as the DOCTOR (although we don’t know when she’s done this, so maybe it’s just innocent). She’s spent the better part of her life trying to fill the void that the DOCTOR left in her after disappearing on her. Is she seeking to regain the father figure she feels she finally got back with his appearance or does it run deeper than that? Only future episodes can tell us.

    As I also mentioned before the episode features foreshadowing of bigger things to come. PRISONER ZERO tells the DOCTOR:

    The cracks in the skin of the universe ““ don’t you know where they came from? You don’t, do you? The Doctor in the TARDIS doesn’t know. The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall.“

    After now seeing the first three episodes of the season the cracks have continued so rest assured this wasn’t just babble placed in to confuse you. Keep an eye out for clues as to what whatever the PANDORICA is. I admit that subtle story-arc elements like this are what swept me up in the series so it’s nice to see them continue.

    FEELING GLEE-FUL?

    This last week the other powerhouse of FOX television returned on Tuesday at a special time in the form of GLEE. I was curious about where this episode was going to go since the 13th episode did such a good job as a coda for the season. Rivalries had played out, stories has seemed to come to completion, and there was hope for the future. Where would the show go?

    Since the show has another 9 hours to fill you just know that they had to tear apart a bit of what they had put together. RACHEL did a great job of smothering FINN to the point where he was easily lead away, WILL SCHUSTER jumped straight from a failed marriage to a relationship with EMMA that also has some early bumps to contend with, and of course SUE SYLVESTER returned with a vengeance in a plot line that was so ill-thought out that I’m surprised they used it. SUE slips a mickey into the principals drink and then takes pictures of herself with him in a cheap motel. Nothing happened and she states that he’ll have to let her return as the coach of the cheer squad to keep the photos from surfacing.  If you’ve got such powerful pictures why not just have him come up with a plausible reason to cancel the GLEE club you hate so much SUE? Oh yeah, then there would be no show. Never mind.

    The musical numbers in the episode were good and I’m sure the show will once again build up steam after this bumpy restart. We’ve got lots of great guests to look forward to including NEIL PATRICK HARRIS  in an episode directed by JOSS WHEDON. Can’t wait for that one.

    Well, since this is the second time within three weeks I’ve talked about DOCTOR WHO and I’ve already said too much about GLEE it’s probably best to move on to the other cracks in the universe which seem to have swallowed up just about anything that I really have an interesting in watching this week.

    MONDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: I’m sure TED almost looses his lunch when his Mom gets a bit bold with her public displays of affection to her fiance on tonight’s HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: For the first time in 24 history JACK got some ‘action’ while on the clock. Too bad it didn’t end well for RENEE. Now JACK is going to go all MARTIN RIGGS on everyone, right?

    ABC – 9:28 PM: ALYSSA MILANO returns to television in an ensemble show where she’s a single mom getting back on the dating scene. I have no idea how this is different from COUGAR TOWN so I guess I’ll have to watch with the rest of you to find out.

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: The contestants on THE BIGGEST LOSER get taken through a beach workout by  GABRIELLE REECE before one contestant gets some devastating news from home. If you’ve been an avid watcher I’m sure you know what it is.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Just when you thought GLEE couldn’t get any… well… GLEE-kier they dedicate an entire show to ‘The Power of Madonna.’ I wasn’t aware that controversy and bad decisions was a power. Oh well.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Honestly folks I am just as lost about LOST as you are. Only six more hours of the show left. Let’s just hang on and get through the rest of the ride, k?

    WEDNESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The performance driven AMERICAN IDOL special IDOL GIVES BACK returns this year with 1 hour and fifty minutes of them asking for kindness and charity before 10 minutes of crushing the spirit and soul of a young hopeful as they tally the votes. Will a contestant get a reprieve like two years ago? You’ll have to watch to see (because I probably won’t).

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Even though they are repeats an hour of MODERN FAMILY is still an hour of MODERN FAMILY, know what I’m sayin’?

    THURSDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: JEFF, TROY, and a chicken finger shortage are central to the plot of tonight’s episode of COMMUNITY.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: If you saw last week’s SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS than you saw some of the best reality TV to unfold in a long while. Seriously, wow.

    NBC 8:30 PM: What’s better than an episode of 30 ROCK at 8:30? The fact that at 9:30 there’s another episode as well.

    FRIDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? returns this week with actress SUSAN SARANDON. For once I won’t dig on this show just because of all she’s accomplished.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Does anyone know if tonight is the last episode of JAMIE OLIVER’S FOOD REVOLUTION? I’m too lazy to look up if it was just a six episode pick up or not.

    STARZ – 10:00 PM: One of the STARZ originals that I really enjoyed for it’s simplicity is the show PARTY DOWN. MEGAN MULLALLY takes a break from singing about margarine to guest in the second season to take the place of JANE LYNCH and other than that it’s the same crew of catering hopefuls.

    SATURDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I’m sure after all of EDDI MURPHEY’s KLUMP action the producers of NORBIT were convinced they had a shoe in for a money maker on their hands. If you watch it for free tonight you’ll see why they were oh so painfully mistaken.

    SYFY – 9:00 PM: No MOTHMAN has nothing to do with Godzilla. The West Virginian monster of myth some how comes back to get revenge on childhood friends who cover up an accidental murder (I hate it when those accidental murders happen). Too bad there’s not some better science fiction on tonight. Oh, wait….

    BBC AMERICA – 9:00 PM: This week DOCTOR WHO lands on the STARSHIP UK as AMY POND gets her first real taste of traveling with the DOCTOR. If you missed the premiere last week you can catch it at 8:00 PM right before this airs.

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES they go all retrospective on the FAIRFIELD STRANGLER complete with his own flashbacks! Nothing says entertainment like THIS IS YOUR LIFE for the neighborhood psychopath.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: The teams on CELEBRITY APPRENTICE have to create celebrity workout classes at a fitness center. Too bad most of them have no idea what a celebrity would even do during a workout.

    A&E – 9:30 PM: Some of the best completely staged incidents on GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS happen when NICK is involved and tonight he has to entertain the son of a potential client of his dads. I’m popping popcorn for this one.

  • TV Or Not TV: 4/12 – 4/18

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    Wow, what a week of TV we had.

    The week kicked off for me with CHUCK (I know, big shock). The entire season of CHUCK has been building towards something and we finally made it to that point. I was very pleased with the way the episode played out and how it tied so many of the hanging strings of plot elements together. SHAW is finally gone, CHUCK and SARAH have finally gotten together, CASEY was able to get himself re-instated and even got MORGAN brought into the mix as an agent. If you watched it the episode played out exactly like a season finale, which it was originally intended. Chuck originally was only coming back to a 13 episode order and this 13th episode would have had to tied us over into a (hopeful) 4th season. Now instead we have to deal with three weeks of repeats while the finishing touches are put on the final 6 episodes of the season. Since they weren’t part of the orignal order I’m hoping at least 4 of the six are “stand-alone” episodes where we just get some good ol’ fashoin spy fun without getting too bogged down about subversive myster organizations and rogue secret agents. Fella can dream, can’t he?

    LOST had an episode that had me blown away. I don’t know what is in the water when they are writing those DESMOND episodes but HAPPILY EVER AFTER next week brought a lot to the table. I was happy to see that my prediction of DESMOND being an element in play for use in the energy pockets that WIDMORE is looking for. Tonight also had the first ‘flash-sideways’ story that I actually cared about and, of course, once again the DESMOND/PENNY angle made the whole story very compelling.

    The second part of the MEDIUM two-parter on Friday night gave me everything that I’ve come to expect from the smart writing of the show. The girl that was having dreams about the murderer was written in a way that made sense, both the main story and JOE’s job woes had me hooked in, and once again I was almost holding my breath at the very end. The only point of dissapointment was in the way that ALLISON found the killer’s vehicle. I really hope this isn’t the last season for this show.

    If you weren’t watching FOX Sunday night than you probably didn’t notice the fact that SONS OF TUCSON wasn’t on. The network cancelled the show after the first four episodes aired. The remaining nine episodes will play out during the summer and we’ll have to wait and see how TYLER LABINE does on the CBS show TRUE LOVE if it gets past the pilot.

    Enough about all the stuff that I watched last week. Instead let’s look at what is happening THIS week to watch.

    MONDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: HUGH LAURIE directs himself in tonight’s episode of HOUSE.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: LILY wants to get a hand gun after MARSHALL gets mugged on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Why doesn’t she just use some of that witchcraft stuff she did on BUFFY?

    FOX – 9:00 PM: The President tries to do a Hail Mary play by bringing in disgraced former PRESIDENT LOGAN to come in and save the day. I know, it makes a lot of sense when I put it like that. Ready like brining the former heads of Lehman Brothers to come in and solve the economic crisis for us.

    CBS – 9:30 PM: SHELDON and the evil WIL WHEATON bowl on tonight’s episode of THE BIG BANG THEORY.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: Ever wanted to kill TOM BERGERON after two hours of DANCING WITH THE STARS? If so than tonight’s episode of CASTLE will be right up your alley.

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Two contestands win new cars on tonight’s episode of THE BIGGEST LOSER. The contestants also get almost as bored as we do by hearing SUZE ORMAN explains to them about financial health (which sounds like code for “how much money you were wasting by being over-weight).

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of LOST is titled EVERYBODY LOVES HUGO and I have to wonder if HURLEY finds true love tonight and gets the same type of enlightenment that DESMOND and CHARLIE did in the flash-sideways world?

    FOX – 9:30 PM: After far too long of a break those whacky kids from GLEE are back and it turns out that rival glee club VOCAL ADRENALINE is coached by WICKED star IDINA MENZEL.

    WEDNESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Find out how the boys got the group together in tonight’s episode of HUMAN TARGET.

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Nothing says glamour like the smell of human waste tonight as the models must attend a photo shoot on the subway tonight on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.

    ABC – 9:30 PM: Anyone that remember show good the story revolving around the fencing competition episode of MODERN FAMILY probably knows why I’m excited for tonight’s episode where JAY and PHIL compete to fill the spot left vacant by MANNY and LUKE‘s basketball coach.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Well, the judges used their “save’ last week so tonight two contestants get the heave-ho tonight on AMERICAN IDOL. Can’t we all just say BOWERSOX wins so we can skip all this nonsense?

    ABC – 10:00 PM: It’s the series finale tonight of UGLY BETTY. Best of luck BETTY, I never knew you.

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: How will things play out this week after BRENNAN shot down BOOTH on BONES? My guess is better than we think.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: How will the VILLAINS fair this week after their horrible decision to bounce COACH last week? I have to admit I’m really digging SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE in the 2000’s: TIME AND AGAIN is yet another clip show. I’ll put good money on the fact that we’ll once again see DICK IN A BOX and SCHWETTY BALLS (did I really just type that?).

    FRIDAY

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Nothing says whacky like when CLARKE gets infectedwith red kyrptonite so tune in to SMALLVILLE for all the fun.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: According to the press release NBC, WALMART and PROCTOR & GAMBLE are trying to bring “family movie night” back with tonights TV movie SECRETS OF THE MOUNTAIN.  One secret is that RANDY JACKSON produced the soundtrack. I’ll give a whirl with my six year old to see if they pulled it off or not.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight on JAMIE OLVER’S FOOD REVOLUTION he asks high school kids to choose between fresh healthy food and processed junk food. Good luck with that one man.

    STARZ – 10:00 PM: It’s the finale of SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND and rest assured that it’s filled to the brim with half-naked people just like you’ve come to expect.

    SATURDAY

    BBC AMERICA – 6:00 AM E: If you don’t mind watching a few things over you can literally sit around for the next 14 hours and watch DOCTOR WHO all the way up to….

    BBC AMERICA – 8:00 PM: It’s a brand new DOCTOR at 9:00 PM so to help us get ready they’ve made THE ULTIMATE GUIDE so we can learn who this DOCTOR WHO is and get us ready for the 9:00 PM premiere of the newest incarnation of the good DOCTOR. If you’ve always wanted to check the show out but were worried about what you need to know than the perfect time is here since this is a fresh start for us all to enjoy.

    NBC – 11:30 PM: Well the MACGRUBER movie was pushed back but RYAN PHILLIPPE‘s appearance wasn’t on SNL. I’m sure there won’t be a single MACGRUBER sketch or commercial planned to air this night at all.

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Get out your biggest belt buckle and settle in for THE 45TH ANNUAL COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: CELEBRITY APPRENTICE tries a hand at counter programming as the teams have to reinvent the images of country music singers EMILY WEST and LUKE BRYAN. The first order of business would be to make me know who those two are.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: In order to subvert her son’s marriage plans LYNETTE finds out the truth about her future potentila daughter-in-law on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. I’m sure that won’t blow up in her face at all.

  • TV Or Not TV: 4/5 – 4/11

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    After a very endearing run by both DAVID TENNANT as the 10th Doctor and the exit of RUSSELL T DAVIES as show runner for DOCTOR WHO I was very curious but not exactly hesistant about the forthcoming changing of the guard in the revival of the UK classic show. After having seen the episode I can definitely say that the DOCTOR is IN!

    Change is something that is completely inevitable. DOCTOR WHO is no exception. Back when fans of the revival of DOCTOR WHO foudn out that CHRISTOPHER ECCELSTON wasn’t returning for the second series the Internet was abuzz with people swearing off the show completely. Over the course of four years DAVID TENNANT had proved himself to be one of the most endearing of the TIME LORD’s incarnations. Keeping this all in mind I went in to the first episode the 11th doctor, aptly titled THE ELEVENTH HOUR, with an open mind. Thankfully, even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been terribly dissapointed.

    Since here in the states we’ve got to wait until BBC AMERICA airs THE ELEVENTH HOUR on April 17th at 9 PM I won’t go into the details of the story (too much) in order to keep it fresh for you all. As the blurb that lead you hear described there are fish fingers. Within the first 20 seconds of the episode I was happy to see a mini-homage to the opening of the first series episode ROSE. Within the first 13 minutes of viewing I enjoyed an unfolding story that somewhat echoed the MOFFAT second series episode THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE. By the end of the episode I was pleased to see an homage to the previous incarnations of the DOCTOR as MATT SMITH firmly and definitively took over the reigns and solidifed himself as THE DOCTOR.

    I will admit that, after viewing, the story itself wasn’t the strongest. I’m sure it doesn’t give too much away to say that there is a high-pressure situation that requires the DOCTOR’s attention. Truth be told, however, it is the least important part of the story that we are told. It’s a vehicle that only exists to move us from point A to point B, which is to get an idea for who this new DOCTOR is, who his new companion is, and get them into the TARDIS to kick off this new series. We are introduced to all the players, we are given a cyrptic message that will undoubtedly unfold as the series progresses.

    In interviews STEVEN MOFFAT has said that at the core of the show the real character is the DOCTOR’s companion and not the TIME LORD himself. This is very apparent in THE ELEVENTH HOUR as we learn that there is a certain level of complexity in both the new companion and her history. Unlike companions of the past AMY POND is not a regular person thrown into extraordinary circumstances as they’ve been around her for most of her life (whether she’s known it or not). This has a heavy influence and effect on her. Her decision to accompany the DOCTOR comes along at a critical moment in her life and it is sure to be one that will play out interestingly in a future episode. By the episodes end you have to ask if he really found a companion or did he inadvertantly make one? Be the judge yourself.

    Since this episode is about new beginnings the TARDIS itself also goes through a self-repair that ends with a new appearance. Through this the DOCTOR gets a new sonic screwdriver. This one is equipped with a green light that seems to mirror the transition of LUKE SKYWALKER’s lost blue lightsaber being replaced by a green one.

    All-in-all I think this regenerated version of the revival of DOCTOR WHO (complete, I might add with a new logo and opening sequence) will be a good one that will uphold the tradition that we’ve all grown familiar with these past few years.

    Now let’s take a quick few moments to get LOST shall we?

    Last week’s episode, titled THE PACKAGE, didn’t contain a lot of forward momentum for the story of LOST but it did let us in on a few more bits of information. I didn’t write my thoughts last week becuase of this reason. I was also thoroughly confused by a Tweet done by Damon Lindelof:

    Does he mean ours or the shows?
    Does he mean ours or the shows?

    This episode brought back the flash-sideways world where it would appear that SUN and JIN weren’t married but they were still getting it on. The cash that we saw JIN bringing into the country, it turns out, was the payment to have a hitman clip him because he was diddling the bosses daughter. SUN thought she had a hidden bank account she could use to run away with JIN with but it turns out daddy knew about that too. SUN and JIN get out of the predicament alive but SUN is shot in the stomach and it turns out she was pregnant.

    The stuff the rest of us care about happened on the Island. We found out that SMOKEY JOE needs all of the candidates to get off the Island. This instantly raised a question in my mind though: Does he need them to get off the Island or does he need them DEAD to get off the Island? Since he doesn’t seem to care about KATE’s fate after he gets all the canddiates together I might lean towards the latter.

    Back on that smaller Island we find out that CHARLES WIDMORE’s crew needs more info about pockets of energy on the Island. This knowledge, coupled with the fact that they have brought DESMOND back with them (the only man we know to have survived one of those packets of energy going ka-boom) makes me wonder if maybe the DESMOND that we saw on the plain in this season’s opener was maybe there because he was thrust into a pocket of ENERGY to some how do the bidding of CHARLES WIDMORE under the pretense of “the greater good.” I know, kooky concept but if you put a guy that was ungrounded in time into a pocket of energy what else can happen (except maybe the discovery of a human microwave that can pop your bag of popcorn in the palm of his hand)?

    The last thing that we find out is that back in the JACK camp our good friend RICHARD has come back (with HURLEY) to tell everyone that it’s time to head over to the smaller Island and blow up the plane that’s sitting there so that LOCKE MONSTER can’t get off the Island.

    So out of all of this I think the two important things are the question of dead or alive candidates and hunt for energy pockets + DESMOND. The latter, if you believe the previews, plays heavily into this week’s episode HAPPYILY EVER AFTER. Here’s hoping the title isn’t ironic.

    Wow, I sure had a bit of stuff to say. Makes you wonder if there’s a bit of stuff to watch too, doesn’t it?

    MONDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s two hours of JACK BAUER as the final season of 24 begins to completely unravel and another something or other is about to hit the fan “within the next hour.”

    NBC – 8:00 PM: According to Exec. Producer JOSH SCHWARTZ tonight’s episode of CHUCK is the episode we’ve waited all season for. After last week there’s no way I’m not tuning in.

    OXY – 10:00 PM: I would love to see a head-to-head match between tonight’s premiere of TORI & DEAN: HOME SWEET HOLLYWOOD and the A&E show GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS for the most staged reality show on television.

    TUESDAY

    TNT – 5:00 PM: If you haven’t watched the second season of SOUTHLAND than here’s your chance to sit down and watch it all as a marathon takes you all the way to the season finale at 10:00 PM:.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: GLEE returns next week so this must mean that this is the last of the painfully long two hour AMERICAN IDOL episodes to air. I really hope I’m right because it means I’ll be able to finally DVR LOST this time last week. Wait, I’m supposed to actually say something about AMERICAN IDOL? Uh… Team GARCIA!

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Is this week’s swimming challenge on THE BIGGEST LOSER the first swimming challenge they’ve ever had? I’m only asking because I don’t remember seeing one.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight DESMOND finds out he’s actually back on the Island and I’m sure he gets all kinds of pissed on LOST.

    WEDNESDAY

    SYNDICATED – 4:00 PM: The cast of GLEE grovel before the house of O this week as they peddle their stories and hope to remidn the whole world of their return next week with today’s OPRAH appearance. Oh well, as long as it gets them ratings.

    DISC – 9:00 PM: ADAM and JAMIE explore the best way to lose a car on their tail in tonight’s episode of MYTHBUSTERS titled SPY CAR ESCAPE. Some of the cars blow up though, right?

    TNT – 9:00 PM: Man, you know TV sucks tonight when you have to choose between the AMERICAN IDOL results show on FOX or THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT here on TNT. Not an easy decision, is it?

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight it’s a very special BONES that shows us when BOOTH met BRENNAN on their first case together. I’m sure during the episode no one will say, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Nothing. There’s nothing new to watch at all. The entire night is filled with repeats. WHAT THE HECK NBC?!? Really love that fourth place spot don’t you?

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on FLASHFORWARD they try to find out who the mole is in the FBI and blah blah blah…. I just want to see the rest of the tape that D.GIBBONS made from way back in 1991! Allow me a moment to also rant a bit on the stupidity of a group of people asking how those towers that were designed in 1992 could be built in 1991 when they’ve all already gone through a blackout that SHOWED THEM THE FUTURE! C’mon people, someone else did the same thing but just on themselves. Am I, the lowly TV critic, really smarter than your ENTIRE CREW?!?!? :: whew :: Sorry, had to get that out.

    NBC – 10:00 PM: Sorry, I was wrong earlier. THE MARRIAGE REF is new tonight with a well known for their great relationship history panel: NATHAN LANE, KATHY GRIFFIN and TRACIE MORGAN. Wow, I might actually watch this show tonight.

    FRIDAY

    CBS – 9:00 PM: After last week’s incredible first of a two part episode of MEDIUM I can only hope this second part lives up to the first. It saddens me the show again could possibly face cancellation. It’s been really creepy good this year.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight on JAMIE OLIVER’S FOOD REVOLUTION a bet is placed where JAMIE says he can teach 1,000 people how to cook in just one week. With his name being in the title of the show I’d put easy money on JAMIE after lots of created-in-editing tension.

    SATURDAY

    E! – 2:30 PM: I usually like to highlight weekend marathons that occur but just don’t feel right mentioned a marathon of KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS. Maybe instead a better thing to watch might be….

    BBC AMERICA – 4:00 PM: If you want to get a DOCTOR WHO refresher than you can catch the second part of the series 4 finale followed by the tenth DOCTOR’s swan song in THE END OF TIME. Might be a good thing with next week’s premiere of the 11th doctor in THE ELEVENTH HOUR next week.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I can’t even begin to imagine what an edited-for-TV version of ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY would be like so I may be tempted to watch this.

    NBC – 11:30 PM: It had to happen eventually. TINA FEY returns to SNL, but this time as the host! Even more mind blowing is Twitter Trend setter JUSTIN BIEBER is the special (ahem) musical guest. Good thing for FEY that SARAH PALIN just won’t show up, there’s one easy sketch right there (if not the show opening).

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 2:00 PM: It’s the “LET’S ALL GAWK AT TIGER” special, also known as THE MASTERS golf tournament! Will he win his fifth green coat or just suffer more public humiliation?

    BRAVO – 8:00 PM: I may just tune in to watch A FEW GOOD MEN tonight. Nothing gets me more than that court room scene where they do that holding close-up on the glass of water right before all heck breaks loose. That glass of water made me BELIEVE it was holding a refreshing and cool beverage.

    SHO – 9:00 PM: It’s the season premiere of THE TUDORS. If only KING HENRY THE VIII came off this cool in real life.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: A special two hour BROTHERS & SISTERS promises to keep me out of my own living romo from 9 to 11 PM. I’m sure my wife will love it.

    CBS – 9:00 PM: It’s the season finale for UNDERCOVER BOSS with the CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS hand-picking an assignment within the company. I thought they were just a phone call center that sub-contracted local florists.

  • TV Or Not TV: 3/29 – 4/4

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    I’m sort of amazed that just this time last week I was pondering if it was really possible that FOX wouldn’t renew 24 we’ve already received word that FOX has decided it won’t. Now the clock that ticks during each remaining episode is also counting down to the shows end (even though I know that the clock runs up, but let’s not deconstruct the metaphor, ok?)

    The fact that 24 has lasted so long is quite an accomplishment. The concept of the show inherently has a limited shelf-life since there are only so many threats and crisis that can be thought up. The show has had to deal with assassination attempts (at least 2), nuclear threat (at least 3), electronic terrorism, bioterrorism (at least twice) and at least one attempted coup of the American government. The current season has had at least two of these scenarios and after that laundry list what could they do next season aside from a full out US invasion. I’m not sure any television show is ready to take us into RED DAWN territory (even though JERICHO did a pretty good job with it’s attacks based on government overthrow).

    24 also has been, many times over now, a parody of itself over the years.  During every season I’ve cheered, I’ve jeered, I’ve been transfixed and I’ve been mystified. During the end part of it’s sixth season (I think, as they all sort of mesh together for me) I remember thinking I couldn’t believe how they were giving JACK BAUER the RAMBO treatment by having him go in and kill an entire team of armed men as well as the terrorist at the heart of the current threat. It was a bit of a stretch but what can I expect from the season that was started off with JACK taking a major bite out of the person holding him captive (as one Internet writer so eloquently put it, “JACK BAUER is so bad ass he now EATS PEOPLE!”). When a show crosses your threshold for the suspension of disbelief all you can do is sit around and be dumbfounded by what unfolds. That’s the place I’ve been in for at least three seasons. Heck I haven’t even watched the show anywhere but on-line for the last two seasons.

    When it’s all said and done I’m glad 24 is actually winding down. I used to talk about how much I enjoyed the show and for the longest time now I’ve simply mocked it. No show should have to endure that. Fans will be happy to know that there is a long term plan for at least one theatrical 24 film, but I say let poor JACK rest.

    Last week I also mentioned the NBC show CHUCK. It’s future isn’t certain. Executive Producer JOSH SCHWARTZ sent out the following Tweet this last week:

    Does this mean that we just need to stay the course because the outcome will be OK for the shows future or was he simply talking about riding out the current story line? I admit that it could be taken either way after last week’s episode. CHUCK, with help from the recently discharged CASEY, passed his final exam and is now a full fledged spy. Although I love the show CHUCK I really haven’t bought completely into the entire concept of CHUCK wanting to be a super spy. The majority of last season involved CHUCK wanting to return to a normal life as he was pre-occupied about getting the INTERSECT out of his head. I suppose having a new INTERSECT put into his head, one that grants him physical abilities, could be the kind of thing that would make him want to finally pursue this life but it still just doesn’t add up in my own head. CHUCK knows that being a spy means occasionally having to kill people just because you have to and that’s not a philosophy that I think he’s ever actually been able to subscribe to. With all that in mind why would he want to be a spy?

    Unlike 24, however, even when CHUCK makes we question what is going on I’m still entertained by the show. I hope it gets another season. I still think that since it’s the only show from the 2007-2008 new show schedule that still exists NBC would be doing itself an injustice in turning it’s back on the show. Funny how I can justify this idea for CHUCK but not for HEROES, isn’t it?

    Now that we’ve covered more 24 and CHUCK than we really needed to let’s talk about what else is happening this week.

    MONDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I hear if you do a shot every time SHANNON DOHERTY cries on DANCING WITH THE STARS you’ll be pretty lit pretty quick.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: As I said above now CHUCK‘s a spyand he wants to win back SARAH. Can he do that by rescuing SHAW? Guess we’ll see.

    TNT – 10:00 PM: It’s the beginning of the end with for the HOLLY HUNTER helmed SAVING GRACE with tonight’s season premiere. I guess I should have been watching the previous three seasons.

    ABC FAMILY – 10:00 PM: It’s the season finale for GREEK as I’m hoping to see lots of spring break shenanigans from the KT‘s against the OMEGA CHI‘s (yes, I like GREEK).

    TUESDAY

    SYFY – 8:30 AM: Before tonight’s 10 PM return of V on ABC why not watch a few crappy episodes of the failed NBC show from 1985 before watching the original miniseries V and the follow-up V: THE FINAL BATTLE (and then ponder, much as I did, how they could ever have a show after something called THE FINAL BATTLE).

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on THE BIGGEST LOSER we get a second helping of the contestants previously voted off as they compete for a second chance. Tonight also has a special live portion where a 647 lb. man weighs in to show how much he’s lost just by being inspired by the show. I’m sure it’s going to put my 50 lb. loss over two years to shame.

    FOX – 8:00 PM:USHER steps in to mentor the 10 remaining finalists on how to sound good without any of the studio equipment and auto-tune technology that he’s able to use on this week’s AMERICAN IDOL.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonights’s episode of LOST features a glimpse into the flash-sidways life of JIN and SUN. It’s also titled THE PACKAGE. I just hope tonight someone doesn’t have to yell several times, “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?

    WEDNESDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Why don’t I remember IT’S THE EASTER BEAGLE, CHARLIE BROWN and why does this LINUS kid insist on worshipping false holiday idols?!?

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Can someone tell me why MINUTE TO WIN IT is on tonight? Just wonderin’.

    DSC – 9:00 PM: Having a description for MYTHBUSTERS that says “Two myths inspired by Hollywood” is like trying to sell a car only by describing “It runs good.” TELL ME WHAT IS GOING TO GET BLOWN UP/DESTROYED! It’s not hard guys, c’mon!

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Another conestant most of America doesn’t care about gets voted out of AMERICAN IDOL. Is TIM URBAN still the Vote for the Worst choice? If he lives past tonight the answer is yes.

    USA – 10:00 PM: Another of the USA NETWORK original’s returns tonight with the season premiere of IN PLAIN SIGHT. Can MARY catch the guy who shot her?

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight’s description of BONES mentions a partially skeletonized body is discovered. This is like stating that Knight Rider would have a car chase scene or Cheers would feature people in a bar. At least it’s a new episode, right?

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Hoping the two hours of THE OFFICE tonight are all new? April Fools!

    ABC – 8:00 PM: After several episodes we finally get a look at the location of the great crow fall in Somalia and someone finally asks that kid why she knows D.GIBBONS is a bad man on FLASHFORWARD. These questions have been hanging around so long I thought the show was changing it’s name to STUCKINPAUSE.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: WALTER finally has to fess up to PETER‘s um, lineage and we get a look at his mom in an all new episode of FRINGE that flashes back to 1985.

    FRIDAY

    THECW – 8:00 PM: When we were last in SMALLVILLE we saw a flying ZOD. Naturally we return to find CLARK and LOIS headed out of town to a B&B leaving TESS holding the ZOD filled bag.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: A comic book artist starts drawing encounters with ghosts before they happen on GHOST WHISPERER. Isn’t this a plot device that’s been used on every sci-fi show (as well as the power of an original HEROES character)? What’s next week, a computer becomes self-aware and… uh… starts whispering to ghosts too?

    SYFY – 10:00 PM: Did you watch the MERLIN all day marathon last week? If so you’re in great shape for the second season premiere. Too bad I forgot to watch.

    SATURDAY

    BET – 5:30 PM: Thank goodness, finally my chance to see JUWANNA MAN for the price of my cable subscription. I’m still paying too much.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: Want to feel better about your life? How about three hours of people with substance abuse problems in ADDICTED?

    DSC – 8:00 PM: OK, how about two hours of THE SCIENCE OF SEX APPEAL followed by ANATOMY OF SEX?

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Want to know what it takes to have JESSICA ALBA come renovate your home? 13 kids and wild life infestation after a hurricane. Still worth it? Call EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION.

    DSC – 8:00 PM: Tonight LIFE brings us Birds and Creatures of the Deep.

    APL – 9:00 PM: Yes it’s over a year old and I already wrote about the RIVER MONSTERS search for the man eating catfish called the goonch. I just love saying goonch.

    Will Wilkins

  • TV or Not TV: ¡Ab Aeterno es Muy Bueno!

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    Welcome to another Wednesday where I sit down and presume that you even care what I think about last night’s episode of LOST, titled AB AETERNO. Even if you don’t yesterday’s Tweet from Damon Lindelof let’s me know that someone out there cares.

    I’m sure that this episode is the kind that will divide the LOST fan community in half. The ep was a virtual stand-alone that had very little connection to the current events on the Island. This thing was 95% backstory for the mysterious and non-aging RICHARD ALPERT. We were able to see where he came from, how he came to be on the Island, and why this guy never gets any older. I’m sure there are going to be plenty of people out there that are venting today how this is the last season and they just don’t care about the life of some second stringer and instead want to see some real action go down on the Island. Hopefully next week will really deliver for these people (if they are in fact out there). I’m not one of these people. I really enjoyed this episode.

    I admit that AB AETERNO was a welcome change of pace for me. There was no flash sideways in the episode to distract me. There wasn’t a lot of back-and-forth action between different groups and trying to keep track of what is going on between them. Once the writers got us from JACOB to CANDIDATES to RICHARD they sent us into a view of his life and they did not break from it at all until near the end of the episode. They dropped us into a romantic tradgedy that, at the end, held the potential for redemption.

    I really enjoyed being able to see more of the range of NESTOR CARBONELL in this episode. I am one of those people that actually watched and enjoyed SUDDENLY SUSAN during it’s brief run on NBC and for me NESTOR was one of the highlights. His performance of BAT MANUEL on the short lived live action version of THE TICK for FOX was a pleasant surprise as well. These two instances, however, were the most memorable performances that I’ve caught of MR. CARBONELL so seeing him truly act in AB AETERNO was incredible. During this episode he had to deliver desperation, loss, pain, suffering, confusion and even a little bit of a man on the brink of insanity. One of the best moments of the episode for me was his near psychotic giggle that he gives when asked by Ilana, “What do we do now?” CARBONELL did a great job of stepping off of the side lines and taking a strong lead in this episode.

    Even though we did not see a lot of action in the “present” on the Island we did get an explanation of what might be the real reason why people eventually find the Island and why exactly JACOB has been shopping around for his replacement.

    During a conversation between RICHARD and JACOB the latter explains, with the aid of a wine bottle, the reason why he is there. The bottle contains pure evil, the kind that will dangerously spread if not kept in check. The Island that we’ve all been in wonder of for the past five years is the cork that keeps the evil in the bottle. JACOB’s role is to protect the Island to make sure the cork stays in place and keeps evil in the bottle. This, of course, makes me wonder if the writers of the show came up with this final idea about what’s going on while hitting the sauce pretty hard one night in quiet desperation in the writer’s room knowing they had to wrap this show up.

    All kidding aside that wine bottle description is great in that we finally understand why JACOB is there, why the SMOKE MONSTER is there, and what the struggle is. Makes perfect sense. JACOB also tells us that he keeps drawing people to the Island because the SMOKE MONSTER believes that people are easy to corrupt because it is in our nature to sin and JACOB wants to prove him wrong. We also already know from the first few opening minutes of last season’s finale episode THE INCIDENT that SMOKE MONSTER really wants to kill JACOB. Exactly where does bringing people to the Island so ol’ SMOKEY JOE can try to turn them into JACOB killing machines fit in to the whole “keep the cork in the bottle by protecting the Island” equation? Seems like playing a risky game just to prove a point. I’ve tried doing this kind of thing during arguments with my wife but it always ends with the fight going longer than I wanted and every time I start to do it I know it won’t be worth the effort. Maybe JACOB should have tried arguing with my wife to see how much his effort to prove his point wouldn’t be worth it.

    I really shouldn’t have brought up that opening of THE INCIDENT because it, coupled with the final moments of AB AETERNO, just makes me confused in the world of continuity. In the beginning of THE INCIDENT we find JACOB and the MAN IN BLACK/SMOKEY JOE watching a boat on the horizon. The statue is still intact and SMOKEY JOE asks JACOB, “Do you know how badly I want to kill you?” This tells us that this conversation had to have happened prior to the BLACK ROCK showing up since the ship rode a gigantic wave into the island that made it smash the statue to bits before bending the laws of phsyics and coming to rest well inland (that was one big wave). After everything in AB AETERNO we find JACOB coming up to the MAN IN BLACK and stating to him, “So you tried to kill me.” Either JACOB has a very bad memory or he some how was arrogant enough to think that there was no way that SMOKEY JOE could actually harm him with the people that he brings to the Island. I don’t know which, but that bit kind of bothered me.

    I think a lot of us assumed that the boat they were watching in THE INCIDENT was the BLACK ROCK. Since she ran aground during a big storm during the night it would seem they were just watching some other boat. Then again they may have been seeing her as she passed the Island and the storm could have later forced her crew to turn around to head for the safety of dry land. I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

    It was nice to also see some things come in to play that we’ve seen already this season. The knife given to RICHARD by SMOKEY JOE was the same one given to SAYID to kill SMOKEY JOE. We now know why the term, “It’s nice to see you out of those chains” was the trigger for how RICHARD knew who our Island LOCKE really was. Seeing where the white rock that LOCKE throws into the ocean in THE SUBSTITUTE (if it was the same one) was both amusing and made me raise questions on whether the cave was really JACOB’S cave or SMOKEY JOE’s (since if it was the same rock it was given to SMOKEY by JACOB).

    We also learned that ILANA’s true mission, in coming to the ISLAND was to protect the six remaining candidates. I have no idea why protecting the candidates included bringing the dead body of LOCKE to the statue to show JACOB. I would think that her time would have been better spent looking for the candidates. I guess JACOB must have told her to drop by the statue and say hello to let him know she was there and she thought the dead body might be a nice gift to bring. We also learn that she knows the names of the remaining six candidates so unles FRANK is actually a candidate she must like his company or needed someone to help lug around her housewarming gift for JACOB.

    One last item that I haven’t really discussed is the whole CANDIDATE business. For some reason I never really wondered who the remaining candidates were. I realized last night, however, that they are trying to get us to wonder who they are since they really went out of their way to specifically say that there are six remaining candidates. Some candidates are already given since KATE, SAWYER (as FORD), JACK, SAYID and HURLEY have already been identified. That only leaves one of the two KWON’s (JIN or SUN)? I’m sorry I ever thought about this since most of the other failed candidates are failed because of the inconvenience of death. I really hope there might be an exception in this case since without it there would be a very unhappy ending for the KWON’s. (Man, I’m really sorry I bothered to stop and think about this.)

    So, in conclusion, we may have learned the following with AB AETERNO:

    • RICHARD ALPERT has been on the Island since 1867.
    • JACOB protects the Island because it is the only thing that is keeping a pure kind of evil trapped from infecting the entire world.
    • THE SMOKE MONSTER/MAN IN BLACK is what JACOB believes is that pure kind of evil.
    • JACOB keeps bringing people to the Island to try to prove his point that all of man isn’t completely corruptable with sin (and doesn’t mind that the people he brings keep dying).
    • JACOB made ALPERT his spokeperson because he didn’t want to directly influence the people that he brings to the Island.
    • THE BLACK ROCK is what broke the big statue on the Island while coming ashore.
    • HURLEY once again seems to be fighting on the side of good by convincing RICHARD to not join the evil LOCKE/SMOKE MONSTER.
    • The knife that SAYID tried to kill evil LOCKE with was the same knife that the MAN IN BLACK gave to RICHARD to kill JACOB.
    • The white rock that evil LOCKE threw into the ocean may have been the one that JACOB gave to RICHARD to give to the MAN IN BLACK.
    • JACOB sent ILANA to the Island to protect the remaining six candidates and she doesn’t like to show up without a gift.

    From the preview for next week’s episode, THE PACKAGE, it would seem that evil LOCKE is either going to drop in on the JACK camp to try to lure SUN away with promises of taking her to her husband. Based on his past tactics this can’t really be his real intention. THE PACKAGE also marks our start of the ‘back nine’ as there are only 9 hours of LOST ever. If my predictions are correct than from this point out it is just going to be a roller-coaster ride until the finale. I really hope I’m right.

    Will Wilkins is a little less LOST than he was last week.

  • TV Or Not TV: 3/22 – 3/28

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    Welcome to another week of TV or Not TV and this week I’m all about the Bubble.

    I don’t know if you have come across this term yet in the real world but there are such things in network television that have been termed “Bubble” shows. A Bubble show is a show that has ratings that aren’t stellar but don’t flat out justify cancellation. Until we finally learn what the networks ultimately decide on the fate of the show it is on the surface of the Bubble waiting to see if it continues to float safely or see if the Bubble bursts and it’s all over.

    I have to admit that before the advent of the Internet I was always just resigned to the fate of a show since there was little I could do about it (OK, there was one campaign outside of NBC in Burbank to try to stop the cancellation of QUANTAM LEAP, but we don’t discuss that in my household and simply right it off and the frivolity of my youth). The Internet, however, makes information so readily available that people are not only informed rapidly about how their shows are performing they are able to mobilize and put together campaigns that, in the micro-verse of the Internet, sometimes makes network executives take notice. One Bubble show from last season, DOLLHOUSE, could have been easily considered headed to the scrap heap by the ratings but fandom made executives consider giving it a new lease on life through fan community action and re-action to possible cancellation.

    Another show that, after its second season, seems tortured by life on the Bubble is one of my personal favorites: CHUCK. Last season the show had some of its best story telling, strongest episodes, and amazing guest stars but didn’t have strong numbers. Fans took to the Internet and came out in droves to show support for the show by doing something an audience hadn’t really done before in supporting an advertiser of the show. The week when fear of cancellation hit the masses a Subway Meatball sandwich was featured prominently in a way that could only be taken as product placement. Fans went out in force and bought five dollar foot longs like they were going out of fashion, dropping suggestion cards stating they were there because of the spot on CHUCK and continued to do so every Monday for the rest of the season. Their actions got CHUCK a third season 13 episode commitment that expanded into a 19 episode order before the season wrapped.

    Once again, however, CHUCK is on the bubble and you can tell as such from the simple Tweet from show co-creator JOSS SCHWARTZ:

    This isn’t the kind of Tweet you want to read when the show you like is going up against the season premiere of DANCING WITH THE STARS. Yes the shows don’t really share the same demographic but since STARS has one of the more interesting casts in a long time I can’t even guess what might happen. Tonight’s episode of CHUCK is really important after its rating drop last week. It will prove that the fluke was a drop due to Daylight Saving Time, which if you look at the prior Monday was an overall drop of slightly more than 10% of people watching television in the prized 18 to 49 demographic could be a real possibility. Tonight it needs an audience for sure.

    I also think we can’t really know what NBC has got going on after their 10 PM Leno debacle. You’d think the fourth ranked network might want to try to at least hold on to a show that actually does have some kind of audience. I’m sure this is the only reason that HEROES might get another season (yup, HEROES is easily on the Bubble as well after yet another horribly written and ratings performing year). Good luck CHUCK, I’m pulling for you.

    So here, in my opinion, are the shows that are on the Bubble for the networks. I’m not going into completely doomed shows like THE DEEP END or TRAUMA. If the show is listed here I think right now, in the face of other shows getting early renewals (MODERN FAMILY, COUGAR TOWN, COMMUNITY, BONES and oh so many more) these shows could be back next year or could have their floor pop out from underneath them and plunge them into the obscurity of cancellation.

    FOX – HUMAN TARGET, LIE TO ME and due to recent speculation the longest day of the year 24. I have nothing vested in any of these shows so good luck and fair thee well.

    CBS – NUMB3RS, NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE, ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE, GARY UNMARRIED and MEDIUM. I’d really like to see MEDIUM get to stick around since it is another of my favorites however I’m not holding out hope even though it too has had a great season of shows on its new network.

    ABC – FLASHFORWARD and V. V still has yet to return and FLASHFORWARD didn’t fare very well ratings-wise in its return mid-season premiere. Some people think that CASTLE might be on the bubble but, when you look at what it does for a 10 PM show I think that it does pretty well for ABC. Its ratings are strong and consistent.

    NBC – Currently CHUCK, PARENTHOOD and HEROES. The former and the latter at least have some audience; PARENTHOOD is so young it is really hard to tell. Give me the first two and I’ll be happy.

    So there’s my take on the shows that might or might not survive. Now let’s look at what we know we can at least watch for the next seven days, shall we?

    MONDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: OK, I’ve NEVER had an interest in DANCING WITH THE STARS but this season I’d almost consider watching it if I weren’t such a die hard fan of….

    NBC – 8:00 PM: CHUCK has his “final exam” to be a spy tonight and one of the things he has to do to pass is to slay the ratings. Can a few of you Nielsen homes help out with this?

    CBS – 8:00 PM: So TED’s date some how ruins LILY‘s birthday party on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Did he bring BLAH BLAH back out of crazy town for the date?

    ABC – 10:00 PM: The first half of the first two-parter CASTLE in the show’s history happens tonight when a serial killer is performing murderous dedications to BECKETT and special guest DANA DELANY heads up the investigation. This one had me at two-parter.

    SHO – 10:00 PM: The pain pill addicted mess that is NURSE JACKIE returns to SHOWTIME tonight, followed by the UNITED STATES OF TARA.

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: BIGGEST LOSER COUPLES goes straight for the heart strings by sending all the contestants back home for a week. Get your tissue ready and wait until you see the stationary bike competition.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The only reason why I’m even mentioning AMERICAN IDOL is not to make a snarky comment about the mediocre contestants this season has to offer. I mention it because as long as the show is two hours it’s screwing up my ability to DVR LOST tonight so I’m going to have to watch on the web to find out….

    ABC – 9:00 PM: The back-story of ageless and natural eye-linered RICHARD ALPERT is revealed on tonight’s episode of LOST. Don’t taunt me with mail, Tweets or anything else. I’ll be watching it on Wednesday. Hmph.

    CNBC – 10:00 PM: The creepy documentary HOW MUCH IS YOUR BODY WORTH? takes a look at the profitability of body parts on the black market.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: Remember how last week ABC used the post-LOST spot to beg its viewers to watch FLASHFORWARD? They’re doing it again this week with V: THE ARRIVAL in the hopes of getting them to tune in for the return next week.

    WEDNESDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Were you mad that SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLIANS was bumped because of the NCAA FINALS? Well this week you get your island fix a day sooner and with a double elimination! This could prove interesting since we’re going to see a showdown between RUSSELL and BOSTON ROB.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: GLORIA and CAM bond during a night out on MODERN FAMILY? Oh this I’ve got to see.

    THE CW – 9:00 PM: At first when I read that there was a new show called FLY GIRLS I thought maybe they were doing a dance off casting competition for IN LIVING COLOR 2010. To my surprise instead it’s a staged reality show with Virgin America flight attendants who live together in Los Angeles when they aren’t fending off invitations from mile-high wannabes. Not to my surprise the show just stalls mid-air.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Last week I didn’t even waste my time watching the AMERICAN IDOL results show. Amazingly enough I still found out who got the boot. Go fig.

    ABC – 9:30 PM: CHERYL CROW starts her small guest-starring sting as a wine rep that’s after GRAYSON on COUGAR TOWN. I hope this fairs better for her than ALANIS MORISSETTE‘S guest stint on WEEDS.

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: A December episode of BONES followed by a February episode of FRINGE just goes to show that FOX has no interest in going head-to-head with the NCAA.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Struggling freshman FLASHFORWARD has nothing at all to lose in going head-to-head with the NCAA. I’ll admit last week’s premiere had a very painful first hour to watch but the second hour was all kinds of goodness that reminded me why I actually liked the show.

    NBC – 9:30 PM: 30 ROCK has LIZ‘s ex FLOYD dropping back in from Cleveland with big news (which could simply be that he’s escaped Cleveland).

    FRIDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: MATHEW BRODERICK enlists historians to try to unlock a 150 year old mystery on WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? while an entire generation tries to unlock the mystery of who MATHEW BRODERICK is. I feel old.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: If you missed the “sneak peak” of JAMIE OLIVER’S FOOD REVOLUTION last Sunday you can watch it before the next episode airs right after at 9. I love his message but I need to sit down more to see how he’s getting it out there.

    THE CW – 9:00 PM: Instead of SMALLVILLE we get repeats from Wednesday of FLY GIRLS and HIGH SOCIETY. ZOD is able to fly; we need the show back STAT!

    SCYFY – 9:00 PM: I can’t believe the first season of CAPRICA is already coming to a close. This is almost as unfair as no SMALLVILLE until April.

    SATURDAY

    DISC – 11:00 AM: I love marathons and today you can curl up with oh so many hours of DEADLIEST CATCH.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: If you didn’t see the first airing of V than you can catch the first two episodes back-to-back tonight. Only four aired way back in 2009 so you can get caught up real easy like.

    NICK – 8:00 PM: Children get their annual slime fest with the KID’S CHOICE AWARDS 2010, hosted by KEVIN JAMES. When did PAUL BLART get so popular with the kids? I’m out of touch.

    A&E – 8:00 PM: If you missed the 2008 re-imagining of THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN you can catch both parts tonight. A bit of advice though, the STRAIN comes from being strong enough to sit through it. I’m just sayin’.

    SPIKE – 10:00 PM: I’ve never seen the ROB ZOMBIE directed remake of HALLOWEEN. If I watch it for free can’t complain about the price of admission, right?

    SUNDAY

    SYFY – 10:00 AM: Remember when NBC tried to air import MERLIN during the summer? Well you can watch 13 hours of it today if you didn’t last year.

    DISC – 1:00 PM: I just wish I could get away with sitting and watching five hours of MYTHBUSTERS and three hours of LIFE. I might as well since I always blow off this column’s deadline anyway.

    A&E – 5:00 PM: If you missed the premiere last week of KIRSTIE ALLEY’S BIG LIFE you can watch both episodes now, sit down for a marathon of GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS and then catch the new episodes at 10…. or you could watch your lawn grow until the sun sets and go to bed. Either way you’ll probably accomplish about the same.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: The entire Alphabet network is in repeats tonight. Is there something big on and I missed it?

    NGC – 9:00 PM: The new series BREAKOUT looks at some of the more high-profile jail breaks in recent history, both from the perspective of escapees and the law men that track them down. I hope I never have to view this as a “how to” and “what not to do” reference later in life.

    Will Wilkins is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

  • TV Or Not TV: What I Reckon from Recon (LOST)

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    Well once again it’s Wednesday and I’m left wondering what exactly it was that I watched last  night. Thankfully Damon tried to let me know in advance what I should be thinking about:

    Last night’s episode of LOST was titled RECON. Originally I would think of this as an abbreviated form of the word reconnaissance. After seeing the episode last night I would think that my interpretation would have been more on the money. SAWYER goes over to the smaller island at the request of UN-LOCKE to see what is up with the people from the Ajira plane crash. Reconnaissance, right?

    It could be that what Damon was eluding to was that they were in fact conning us again. The whole flash sideways thing gave us another glimpse of the world where flight 815 safely landed. SAWYER and MILES are actually LAPD. Before this reveal we’re lead to believe SAWYER is the same grifter that we saw in the crashed 815 reality when suddenly ‘surprise’ he’s a cop! Congrats guys, you got me!

    I don’t like to dwell in the flash sideways world very much, mostly because I don’t know a lot of what is going on there or where that side of the story is going. I do like, however, if you connect the dots one piece from the premiere actually does make a little bit of sense. SAWYER didn’t turn in fugitive KATE when he had a chance to in the elevator. Kind of makes him a bad cop, right? In the episode last night, however, it turns out SAWYER was keeping his little trip down under real hush-hush so he wanted to stay low profile. Turn in a fugitive and you’ve got questions to answer. Not very high profile.

    So what about life back on the Island? Did we learn anything new? Turns out that ol’ SMOKEY JOE UN-LOCKE had a mother that was crazy, just like how CLAIRE is crazy. I’m sure that there are all kinds of LOST-philes on the Internet now trying to figure out how to connect the dots to prove that CLAIRE is the one and the same mother and UN-LOCKE is actually AARON. I don’t buy into it.

    I was kind of shocked last night to discover that we were actually given a payoff from the final moments of last week’s episode when we learned that CHARLES WIDMORE and his non-yellow submarine has stopped and set up base on the smaller island (I feel silly calling it the Hydra island, sorry). I was even more shocked when SAWYER revealed the first real logical plan from any person on the Island: there’s two sides at war and he’s just going to stay out of the way, let them duke it out, and try to slip out the back door. BRILLIANT! I suppose this is the first time this type of plan can actually happen, however, since the LOST-ies for the first time aren’t actually in the center of the conflict. Still I bet the people that died by flaming aarow on the beach last season had wished they had given up their beach life a few seasons ago and just stayed in the caves instead of getting involved in all of JACK’s whacky shenanigans.

    In speaking with a co-worker a few weeks ago I made the analogy that the beginning of this season is like the starting point of a roller coaster. You’ve got that long slow climb to the peak before you are moved along slowly to the first big drop and the ride goes all kinds of crazy, you lose your hat or sunglasses, kids scream (maybe some puke) and in the end everyone loved the ride. Right now we’re about up to the peak. Soon we’ll be carted over and then all hell is going to break loose. No sense in over-dissecting what is going on. Just try to get through it so we can be where we are supposed to before the big drop, right?

    I’m looking forward to next week where we (hoepfully) see more of what’s going on with JACK and his crowd and maybe we get to see some of these split up people coming together. Next week marks the official half-way point in this final season so they just HAVE to crank things up, right?

  • TV Or Not TV: 3/16 – 3/22

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    Ever since the cancellation and final episode of the CW’s show REAPER I’ve been both looking forward to and dreading the premiere of the FOX sitcom SONS OF TUCSON. There are two words, that when put together form a name, that are the reason for me looking forward to SONS OF TUCSON and they are (or it is) TYLER LABINE.

    One of the great things about REAPER was TYLER LABINE. His character, SOCK, could have easily been mistaken early on as a JACK BLACK knockoff. As the show progressed, however, the writers found a solid tone for SOCK that LABINE was able to bring out naturally and it became something that I felt he really owned. It was the light and frivolous banter of SOCK that made the more serious moments of the show easier to digest. After the second season of REAPER had wrapped word came out that LABINE would be shooting the pilot for SONS OF TUCSON and for us REAPER fans this was an early sign of the eventual demise of the show (as well as the smaller 13 episode order of the show).

    I wasn’t happy to see REAPER go but my curiousity was at least tweaked for SONS OF TUCSON because of LABINE. When I heard about the premise behind the show, however, I started to walk that fine line of trepidition.

    In SONS OF TUCSON we find TYLER LABINE playing the character RON SNUFFKIN. Within moments of the show open we know that he’s been living in his car after being thrown out by his ex-girlfriend, he owes some shady guy named TONY (played by JAKE BUSEY) $2000 and he works a retail job at a sporting goods store. He’s a man of questionable morals and it is these same morals that make him the perfect candidate for the GUNDERSON boys to pay him off to pretend to be their dad to get them enrolled into school. Why do they need this? Mom hasn’t been in the picture for a while and Dad is serving 25 for white-collar crime. Presumably the boys have a stash of Dad’s cash to live off of and don’t want Child Protective Services to know about their situation so they won’t be put into the foster care system and split up.

    Now you know the premise and the reason why I was apprehensive about the show. It sounds like typical sitcom fodder at best, right?

    After seeing the pilot I can tell you that the parts of the show don’t quite add up to a completely entertaining whole but the promise is there to actually become an interesting and entertaining 22 minutes of time wasted. LABINE does, in fact, play a character with the same wit and charisma of his former SOCK incarnation and he does so again in a completely natural fashion. The three kids playing the GUNDERSON boys (MATHEW LEVY as the ‘looks but not a thinker’  BRANDON, FRANK DOLCE as the ‘brains’ brother GARY and BENJAMIN STOCKHAM as the ‘id’ and youngest brother ROBBY) work well together and balance each other out. The sub-plot of RON trying to get his hands on a tiny toy soldier collection from his grandmother ETHEL provided some of the more outlandish comedy and also makes me hope we see more of ETHEL and her home again it the future.

    Years of experience have also taught me that you can’t really tell a show from it’s first episode. The first six episodes (if we actually get to see them all) are what really let us know about the calibre of the writing staff and how well they set up both the voices and scenarios for these characters. I’ll be keeping my eye on SONS OF TUCSON to see how well it shakes out and hoping the best for its future to see more of LABINE.

    Now that we’ve gotten that bit of business out of the way let’s see what is in store for us with this week’s programming.

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: AMERICAN IDOL may have it narrowed down to only 12 contestants but let’s face it folks, this is now a contest between CRYSTAL BOWERSOX and LEE DEWYZE (even though I’m rooting for ANDREW GARCIA for the upset).

    ABC – 9:00 PM: I don’t know what to tell you about this week’s episode of LOST but I love that TVGUIDE refers to one of the characters this week as ‘the Locke Monster.’

    FX – 10:00 PM: TIMOTHY OLYPHANT is sporting another badge on TV, but this time he’s a deputy U.S. Marshal in JUSTIFIED.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: ABC begs and pleads the LOST crowd to give another certain show a chance with their recap special FLASHFORWARD: WHAT DID YOU SEE?

    NBC – 10:00 PM: SARAH realizes that dating a nearly 40-year-old barista may not be all it’s cracked up to be on PARENTHOOD. There’s a news flash.

    WEDNESDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: The abomination that currently carries the SCRUBS name finally has it’s season finale. Too bad it took this long.

    ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: In honor of St. Patrick’s Day ABC FAMILY presents INDEPENDENCE DAY.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: Watch for 60 minutes and you’ll learn nothing new in THE SECRET LIFE OF TIGER WOODS.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: AMERICAN IDOL spends one hour letting us know who gets the boot this week. Marvel in the awkward ensemble medley singing and guest singers before witnessing one persons pain in the last ten minutes.

    HIST – 9:00 PM: The MonsterQuest team is so bad ass they don’t just go after one sasquatch, they go after an entire pack of them! Put THAT in your pot of gold and smo… oh, wait, that doesn’t work at all.

    COMEDY – 10:00 PM: The 14th season of SOUTH PARK premieres tonight.

    THURSDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: After a production shake up and major retooling FLASHFORWARD returns in a two hour special that only hopes to get the ratings the premiere did.

    NBC – 8:30 PM: ANDY SAMBERG guests as a park ranger on tonight’s PARKS & RECREATION. Have I mentioned how much better this show is this season?

    SLEUTH – 9:00 PM: I only bring up that this network is airing THE 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN because the simple fact that they are is the only mystery I can find in this pairing.

    BRAVO – 10:00 PM: KELLY bares for PLAYBOY on tonight’s THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY. Curiosity may have killed the cat but it won’t be enough to get most guys to buy this issue.

    FRIDAY

    DISNEY XD – 7:00 PM: Can someone please tell me how I never knew that there was a “THE THREE INVESTIGATORS” movie of any kind made? After reading them in Junior High (middle school to some of you) I’m going to at least DVR THE THREE INVESTIGATORS AND THE SECRET OF TERROR CASTLE just to see how they tried to translate this to a modern audience. I’m sure it is going to hurt to watch but I’ll do it anyway.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? former Friend LISA KUDROW travels to Belarus to learn about her family history (while no one watches).

    SYFY – 9:00 PM: The title of CAPRICA tonight is GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE. I should have really seen that title coming.

    SATURDAY

    FOOD – 5:00 PM: CAKE BOSS marathon!

    DISNEY – 7:30 PM: SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS jumps from the Disney Vault and onto your television. C’mon, it’s a classic.

    HIST – 8:00 PM: Do you think notorious outlaw Jesse James was hiding loot? A team does as they go in search of JESSE JAMES’ HIDDEN TREASURE.

    E! – 8:00 PM: HALF-BAKED will always be the film that to this day makes me say, “Abba-Zabba, you my only friend.”

    SUNDAY

    MTV – 8:00 PM: My faith in humanity falls a little more with SPRING BREAK 2010: FIST PUMPIN’ Top 20 WITH JERSEY SHORE.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: Witness the marvels of LIFE around us for two hours with this amazing nature series.

    A&E – 9:00 PM: A health scare happens for SHANNON on tonight’s season premiere of GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS.

    FOX – 9:30 PM: Let’s see if SONS OF TUCSON is able to improve on the formula or flounder in mediocrity.

    AMC – 10:00 PM: If you haven’t seen BREAKING BAD than get the box sets and start DVR’ing it with tonight’s season premiere until you get caught up. You’ll be glad that you did.

    A&E – 10:00 PM: I’m not really sure what to say about KIRSTIE ALLEY’S BIG LIFE. It’s both fascinating and a train wreck and really puts me at a loss for words.

    – Will Wilkins was shot in front of a live studio audience.

  • TV Or Not TV: 3/1 – 3/7

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    Once again I welcome you all to another edition of TV or Not TV. I’ve got a lot of thoughts for this week so please bare with me as I bounce around through all of them. Also be forewarned if you still haven’t watched last week’s episode of LOST I’d encourage you to just skip ahead to the listings.

    I wanted to start by talking about last week’s episode of LOST titled THE LIGHTHOUSE. First and foremost I was hoping with a title like THE LIGHTHOUSE they would actually be shedding some light on what, exactly, is going on with this whacky Island. Although they didn’t do this they did give us a bit more insight into part of the story we were told last week during THE SUBSTITUTE. I also wasn’t very sure what I was in for because of another Tweet by executive producer Damon Lindelof.

    If you haven’t noticed by now I’m not sure you will pick up on the fact that the writers and producers of LOST love elements of ALICE IN WONDERLAND. There were plenty of looking glasses and white rabbits in this episode. There was also a very subtle call back to something that happened in the first season episode titled WHITE RABBIT. At the beginning of the episode we find HURLEY given a mission by the recently deceased JACOB to take JACK to THE LIGHTHOUSE because someone is comign to the Island. In order to do this HURLEY tells JACK the phrase “you have what it takes”. This, of course, sets JACK into a tizzy and where he didn’t care at all what JACOB wanted from him two seconds before after those five words he’s rip-roaring ready to go. Why? The easy answer is from that whacky flash sideways story back in the Los Angeles where the plane never crashed. JACK tells his son DAVID (I know, what?!?) the uplifting story about how his dad CHRISTIAN told him he didn’t have what it takes. At this point I can’t remember if it was about piano playing, baseball, or basket weaving. Doesn’t matter. CHRISTIAN seemed to have been a mean dad who was obviously continuing some cycle of abuse.

    You’ll notice I said that the flash sidways story was the easy answer. I also said soemthing about a connection to the first season episode WHITE RABBIT. If you can stretch your mind back six years with me you’ll remember that in this episode, where JACK seems to be chasing after his dead father CHRISTIAN through the woods when he finally catches up the ghost (or SMOKE MONSTER, hallucination, etc.) of CHRISTIAN tells him to not try to lead these people because he just doesn’t have what it takes. Obviously CHRISTIAN has been doubting and loathing his son for quite some time. What a guy!

    Now that I’ve spent two paragraphs telling you how they were able to link back to dialogue from six years ago let me tell you about one of the two parts of this episode that I found really interesting. When HURLEY gets JACK up to THE LIGHTHOUSE things really smash the glass. It turns out that the Island has a very old lighthouse on it that no one has ever seen, apparently becuase they weren’t looking for it (like when you misplace your car keys I guess). This lighthouse is so hold it uses a fire pit and mirrors to reflect the light out to the ocean. Just like anything else on this Island, however, it turns out to do far more than just reflect light. It seems that when you turn the mirrors to certain degree markings on the LIGHTHOUSE (also now accompanied by names) you get a glimpse of something in the mirror other than a reflection. JACK first sees what looked to me like the church where SAWYER’s parents funeral service was held (I’m probably wrong). This drives him to make HURLEY turn the mirrors to 23 (which is marked SHEPHARD) and he gets a glimpse of his childhood home. Logically JACK gets mad that JACOB appears to have been playing peeping Tom and smashes all the glass when HURLEY can’t telll him why JACOB is a big ol’ peeping perv. I don’t know if either of them happened to notice the name that was marked 108, as this was the degree marking HURLEY was supposed to turn the mirrors towards. I’d put money on that person being DESMOND since “the Island is not done with” him yet.

    Another thing that I think is interesting is that JACK assumes instantly that JACOB is a peepin’ perv based on one still image he sees reflected back at him. How does he know this was the intent and use of THE LIGHTHOUSE. Maybe, instead, these “candidates” that are being drawn to the Island are being revealed even to JACOB himself by using the mirror. He gets a glimpse and has to ascertain who the candidate is. Just a thought. Oh, also whoever this person is must not be all that important becuase it turns out JACOB just did all this to make sure that HURLEY and JACK were as far away from the temple as possible because ol’ SMOKIE JOE is apparently a comin’ to lay a whoopin’ on all the people there. Hopefully MILES gets away.

    The second thing that I loved about this week’s episode is that CLAIRE is 100% pure, grade-A bat $hit crazy. She’s taken on the roll of ROUSSEAU as the crazy lady in the woods that wants to get her child back. She’s also been lied to by the SMOKE MONSTER this whole time being told that the OTHERS have her baby AARON (who, if you remember, was taken off the Island by KATE when they escaped via chopper…. man writing about this show makes ME sound bat $hit crazy, doesn’t it?). I assume it is the SMOKE MONSTER anyway because CLAIRE says her Dad told her (CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD) and then her friend, who is revealed to be the JOHN “THE SMOKE MONSTER” LOCKE. I don’t know if there is going to be a possible path for redemption for CLAIRE with all this bad grigri going on around her.

    One final LOST thought. Last week we learned that this Fake LOCKE is now stuck looking like JOHN LOCKE. I know I said we don’t know why but I have a funny feeling it has something to do with the fact that JACOB is now dead. Prior to JACOB being killed I’m pretty sure fake LOCKE was able to be LOCKE as well as ALEX, etc. in the episode DEAD IS DEAD. The onlyh thing that’s changed between now and then is JACOB dying. I just thought I would share even though we might never actually know the reason why.

    So there’s my thoughts on last week’s episode of LOST here on the eve of the next episode titled SUNDOWN. Considering this episode marks the 1/3 mark for the series (and the fact that they only showed us mere seconds of this week in the previews) I’m sure there’s going to be some heavy stuff going down at the temple. Good luck DOGEN, I’m rooting for you.

    Now that I’ve spent so much time talking about LOST let’s switch over to see just what else there is available to watch.

    MONDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: CHUCK is back and tonight he has to impersonate a dangerous assassin. Is there really any other kind of assassin?

    CBS – 8:00 PM: CARRIE UNDERWOOD guest stars on tonight’s episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Notice I said guest star there Ted? Wouldn’t get your hopes up that this one is your kids mom.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Once again THE BACHELOR chooses (I think) a woman to take his hand in marriage followed by the season finale special “After the Final Rose.” Once again I also successfully navigated my way completely away from seeing a single moment of the show. Me for the win!

    CBS – 8:30 PM: Remember that sitcome RULES OF ENGAGEMENT? Yeah, neither do I. It’s back for a third season tonight though. DAVID SPADE for the win!

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Now that the Olympics are over we finally see how that torch balancing on the head stand off ends on THE BIGGEST LOSER. Yeah, you read that right.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The top 10 female finalists try desperately to perform better than their horrid performances last week on AMERICAN IDOL. Based on last week I think SIMON is getting out at just the right time.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Yeah, you may have already heard me say something about that LOST show.

    TNT – 10:00 PM: Fans of SOUTHLAND should be sure to tune in to TNT tonight as the second season premiere episode airs.

    WEDNESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: I can’t really tell if the top 10 male finalists performed any better last week than the ladies on AMERICAN IDOL. I just know that I have absolutely no one to root for.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: BIGGEST LOSER host ALISON SWEENEY guest stars on tonights episode of MERCY. Congratulations MERCY, I may actually tune in and watch for once.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: PHIL tries to overcome a fear of the dark while exploring under the house with LUKE on MODERN FAMILY. Although not much to read I’m sure it’s going to be comedy gold.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: Tonight LAW & ORDER: SVU has a special two hour event with KATHY GRIFFIN guess starring as a lesbian-rights activist. I think the second hour doesn’t have anything to do with this but the show is good enough to stick around.

    USA – 10:00 PM: This week on PSYCH it’s LASSITER that actually makes the outrageous claim when he says a shark attack was actually a murder. I can already hear all of the JAWS lines being retread.

    THURSDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Look, all of the NBC comedy shows are back tonight with the exception of 30 ROCK. Why is 30 ROCK not getting any love? It’s making room for BABY HALPERT who is being delivered during the one hour THE OFFICE event.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: I have no insight at all into tonight’s epsiode of SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS but from the previews I look forward to the groups being disrupted by hidden immunity idol fever.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight four more contestants are crushed by the fickle choices made by the citizens of the US on AMERICAN IDOL.

    USA – 10:00 PM: The season finale of BURN NOTICE promises to be packed with action in the first five minutes. The only thing really bad about this show is that it feels like the season is over right after it starts.

    FRIDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? follows celebrity journeys to finding out about their family history. I’ve sat through enough family slide shows to know to avoid this one.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on SUPERNANNY a family with a cafe needs help taming their wild kids from ruining business. One helpful hint: check the stock level on those chocolate covered espresso beans because I bet the kids are dippin’ in to them.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: I know that every show wants to have an explosive 100th epsiode to celebrate the achievement but GHOST WHISPERER has taken it a bit too literal with having a missing bomb as part of the story.

    SATURDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: If you missed the pilot for PARENTHOOD (like me) than you have a second chance to catch it tonight.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I guess you can tell the OSCARS are tomorrow with the 20/20 BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS special being retread right before THE OPRAH WINFREY OSCAR SPECIAL dreadges through again as well.

    HALLMARK – 9:00 PM: Normally I wouldn’t recommend a HALLMARK channel film (because I don’t watch them) but UNCORKED features JULIE BENZ and since in the past six months she’s been a serial killer’s wife AND an ex-stripper I figure we can extend some sympath viewing her way.

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 8:30 E/5:30 P: Tonight THE 82ND ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS are tag teamed by ALEC BALDWIN and STEVE MARTIN. Is it the ACADEMY AWARDS or the SNL all-star guest host show?

    WILL WILKINS has been pre-empted to bring you this very special announcement.

  • TV Or Not TV: 2/22 – 2/28

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    Welcome back, folks, to another pathetic and useless week of television.

    That’s a nice cheerful intro, right? I know, I guess I’m a little bit grouchy this week because I have no interest in watcing the Olympics and most of the channels out there are barely even trying to compete. This sets me in a bad mood especially when I have to, in a few paragraphs, start writing about what to watch this week.

    I suppose I’m also in a bad mood because something that premiered last week was something I was looking forward to but was let down. If you’ve never heard of THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW than you were the target audience for the premiere of a new animated show of the same name last Friday night on HBO. The TV show is the repurposing of the podcast that took the Internet by storm in 2005 (if memory serves, sorry…. I’m just too lazy to look it up and confirm). In concept I think the idea is great and in some cases I’ve see it work very well.

    When it comes to the animated version of THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW I must be biased because I’ve already heard a lot of the content. I also wasn’t fond of the animation itself and I found that it didn’t add very much to the discussions. Yes it helped to bring elements of the story to the visual medium but Gervais himself is already such an animated person to watch that I found his Fred Flintstone-without-personality animated character to be a bit of a distraction.

    Another show that premiered this past Friday on HBO was the FUNNY OR DIE but I am somewhat hesitant to recommend it. The premiere episode had a decent gem with the Drunken History sketch. The others sketches (or short comedy bits or whatever you want to call them) left me wanting to vote more int he Die category but on my TV there was no way to vote.

    Now that I’ve given these two glowing reviews let’s move on to the other weak choices that we have available this week.

    MONDAY

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Last week on 24 stuff started hitting the fan and this week they are looking for scape goats. Yeah, that’s some actions.

    TNT – 10:00 PM: Men of a Certain Age has it’s season finale tonight. Haven’t watched a single episode. I’m a great TV critic aren’t I?

    ABC – 10:00 PM: Yes I’d happily take a repeat of CASTLE over most of the other crap that’s on this week.

    ABC FAMILY – 10:00 PM: Yes I watch GREEK and they just got picked up for another season. Good on them.

    TUESDAY

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Last week on LOST we learned something about why these people are on the ISLAND. This week we learn more. Oh yeah, CLAIRE is also back. I also don’t give a crap about anything else on TV tonight.

    WEDNESDAY

    ABC – 11:00 AM: OCTOMOM drops in on THE VIEW. Unless WHOOPI asks her, “BITCH ARE YOU CRAZY?!?” this just can’t go the way I want.

    ABC – 2:00 PM: I don’t watch ONE LIFE TO LIVE  but a guest appearance by SNOOP DOGG could get me to tune in. When he’s on is it One Lifel to Double LIZAL?

    USA – 10:00 PM: On PSYCH GUS and SHAWN join a group trying to stopy a tycoon from getting murdered by thinking up the perfect murder. Naw, that can’t back fire at all. Wasn’t this also a plot on ALIAS?

    THURSDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: I am really enjoying SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS even though no one is wearing spandex.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight the dream of four hopefullys will be crushed on live television in the first national vote results show for AMERICAN IDOL.

    FRIDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: I’m sure I lose credibility in admitting that I like BLADES OF GLORY but at least I’ll be watching some type of Winter Olympic sport, even if it is totally fake and awkward.

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Apparently the KANDORIANS revived a dead physician and he thanks them by trying to convince the world that it’s being invaded by aliens on SMALLVILLE. OK, even this description confuses me.

    SATURDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Another Saturday night with the Alphabet airing a boy wizard movie as they roll out HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

    AMC – 8:00 PM: Remember when FORREST GUMP was leading edge film making technology? Those crazy blue cat people mock Gump now, but it was something back in the day.

    A&E – 8:00 PM: Another guilty pleasaure film that I never have admitted here (I don’t think, again too lazy to verify) is GONE IN 60 SECONDS.

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 9:00 PM: I think the producers of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES are trying to make sure they get more of a male demographic: the former stripper is now living with KATHERINE and they’ve got the hots for one another.

    NBC – 10:30 PM: We’ve heard a lot about THE MARRIAGE REF and tonight we get our first glimpse of it. Some random guy and a celebrity panel help people’s marriages. I admit I’m curious.

    WILL WILINS will try to be a bit perkier next week.

  • TV Or Not TV: LOST with The Substitute

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    Welcome back folks to another TV or Not TV morning after for LOST.

    Last week I opted not to say very much about the episode “WHAT KATE DOES” mainly because of the following tweet from Damon Lindelof.

    Since I have no interest in watching NCIS: Los Angeles I opted to stay mum. Not a lot happened last week so there wasn’t very much to actually expand on. There weren’t many revelations or unique thoughts that popped in to my head. I can’t say the same for this week. As always I will warn you that I do not hold back on information that we were given in the episode and I’ll be taking that a step further based on the preview that we were given for next week. If you haven’t seen the episode “The Substitute” yet and you continue to read please be aware that you are volunteering to get SPOILERS thrown at you.

    The Substitute had the same method of story telling that we have seen in the episodes prior. We have the on Island story and the “sideways flash” storyline. This week that story line was about our dearly departed (but now alive in the sideways flash) John Locke.

    I have to admit that these sideways flash story lines have done very little to hold my interest but this week I bought in to the concept completely. I don’t know if it is because we are seeing the story of a character that is now dead in the time line/reality that we’ve come to know on the show or not but I was very eager to learn of John Locke. This particular John Locke has some differences than the other John Locke we knew. It turns out he is engaged to be married to Helen Norwood and, in a very interesting twist, it would seem that he is on speaking terms with his father (which a keen eye may notice a picture of the two together on a hunting trip displayed on his cubical wall just below a picture of he and Helen together). We also find out that this John Locke did try to go on Walkabout and was told that he couldn’t. Unlike the John Locke we are used to, however, by the end of this episode we find out that this John Locke is finally ready to accept that fact that there are some things that he just can no longer do.

    The sideways flash also caused a bit of a spark in my head when we discovered that the temp agency that Hurley sent Locke to had Rose (of Rose & Bernard) working there. She reveals to Locke, during their discussion, that she has terminal cancer but decided to keep living the life that she had. This made me realize that this other Locke may not have quite such a good future going for him since, as seen in last season’s LIFE AND DEATH OF JEREMY BENTHAM, Helen may die of a brain aneurysm in 2007. I doubt we’ll see that far ahead into the sideways flashes, however, so that probably won’t happen. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Benjamin Linus works at the school where Locke goes to as a substitute teacher as the European History teacher. WHOAH!

    Back on the Island, after much drama and discussion we were given a pretty big reveal. Jacob, it would seem, has been drawing people to the Island as potential replacements for him to serve as the protector of the Island. This process, it would appear, involved Jacob touching people some time in their past (even though in Hurley and Sayid’s case it was AFTER they landed on the Island). Suddenly some of the subtle differences in the sideways flash reality are starting to make a little bit of sense. Cindy, the flight attendant, only gives Jack one extra mini-bottle of alcohol instead of two because this Jack won’t need the second to sterilize the needle (and cleanse the wound) in his side right after the plane crash. Maybe this means that the sideways flash John Locke some how wound up in his wheelchair through another incident as it seemed pretty clear that Jacob revived the “my daddy pushed me out the window” John Locke.

    When it comes to Jacob’s list and what it means I have to ask the same question that Sawyer does: What does the Island need protecting from? According the the Evil Locke nothing, but we know that can’t be true. We also learn that Jacob seemed to have a thing for numbers and assigned each candidate with a number. It just so happens that all of our Flight 815 candidates were assigned the same numbers used in the hatch, stamped on to the hatch, and transmitted from the Island prior to Russo changing the recording. All of this was revealed to Sawyer (also known as James Ford) and after learning all of this he appears to be willing to help Evil Locke in getting off the Island in an attempt to go home.

    There were other tid-bits thrown our way during the episode.

    • Ilana was crying inside of the base of the statue in the same way that someone who has lost someone important to them might. Right after this she collects some of Jacob’s ashes. I don’t know if this is because Jacob was the someone that was important to her or if it will be used some how later as a protection method against the Evil Locke/Smoke Monster. Time will tell on this one.
    • Evil Locke is now stuck in the appearance of John Locke. We don’t know why, it’s just what Illana told us.
    • Evil Locke is not immune to seeing things on the Island. He had a vision of a young blonde boy with blood on his hands that Richard Alpert couldn’t see.
    • There still appear to be rules in place and Evil Locke is not allowed to kill any of the chosen candidates (as revealed by the same young blonde boy who’se hands this time were not bloody and who was able to be seen by Sawyer). This may mean that the candidate’s job won’t be protecting the Island so much as making sure that the Evil Locke/Smoke Monster doesn’t get to leave the Island.

    So the above is everything I was able to take away from the episode. What are we in store for next week?

    Next week’s episode title is “The Lighthouse.” If we can believe the previews that they showed us at the end of this week’s episode (since we’ve seen some of these same clips in a briefer form after the two prior episodes) it would appear that we are going to find out how Jin is faring with Claire Gone Wild. From the many glimpses of Jacob in the preview and from the quick shot of Jack yelling at Hurley about “What does he want from me?!?” followed by the subsequent smashing of glass I think that Jack is taken to some sort of lighthouse and Hurley is being a communication conduit for Jacob. I don’t know if the Lighthouse is a literal lighthouse or if it is instead some mystical lighthouse (it does, after all, look like it’s been carved out of stone) but whatever it’s function Jack must not like it enough to smash some glass (unless he’s just irrationally pissed). I have no idea.

    This being the last season I don’t really like to dwell too much on what the end game plan is for the show. Last week’s episode aside I like that the momentum is picking up again and the direction that they are heading seems to be a good one. I just hope it doesn’t get too confusing over the next few episodes.

  • TV Or Not TV: 2/8 – 2/14

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    For those of you that are frequent readers of this column I’m sure you will notice a certain trend that occurs around these parts: I don’t really tend to review things when they are happening. When it comes to television, because I have a regular job and life, I tend to play catch-up most of the time with the shows that are out there. This can either be because they are new shows that I haven’t opened up my schedule for or old shows that I used to watch all the time and couldn’t fit into my DVR schedule.

    One show this season has fallen victim to the latter condition and that show is SMALLVILLE. I’ve watched this show since the beginning, I’ve stuck with it through the good, the bad, and the awkward. I’ve tolerated silly and at times confusing story lines and I’ve held out to see how the show re-invented itself when key characters left. Whether it has been to my benefit or detriment I’ve been a fan of the show.

    Last season was one of the most challenging that SMALLVILLE had to endure. The show creators, Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, had left the show and Michael Rosenbaum (LEX LUTHOR) and Kristin Kreuk (LANA LANG) also were not to return as series regulars. If memory serves THE CW also renewed the show but on the basis of a lower budget. All of this seemed like a foreboding formula for disaster. What happened, instead, was one of the best seasons the show has ever had.

    This season I was able to catch the sesaon premiere of SMALLVILLE but after that the show fell off my radar due to DVR conflicts. This past weekend, however, I was able to have a marathon to get me back on track. Once again I have to say that what I’m seeing is a thoroughly entertaining season that does a good job balancing story arc’s with stand-alone stories as well. The blend of this modern vision of Superman continues to be extended in an entertaining way with the continued incorporation of DC comic heroes and villains.

    The writers were also able to do something this season that I wasn’t expecting in finding a creative way to bring back GENERAL ZOD, along with an army of his past troops. Yes we’ve seen ZOD before, sort of, but this time he’s here with an army but, unlike other times those of Krypton have shown up in the past, he and his army of bad-asses aren’t loaded up with the same super powers under Earth’s yellow sun. This little twist is part of what sets up the overall story arc for the season.

    If there were any complaint that I can convey about this season it has to be with the casting of Callum Blue as the new incarnation of GENERAL ZOD. Having enjoyed his performance on the Showtime series DEAD LIKE ME I think my interpretation of his delivery is tainted. Every time ZOD tries to be intimidating I just see him as MASON and can’t take him seriously. A few season’s ago when LEX was possessed by ZOD the delivery by Michael Rosenbaum was much more believable than this season’s depiction. Call me petty but I just can’t buy Blue in the role.

    Even if you can’t catch up on the entire season as I have this weekend I’d encourage you to go the The CW’s website (http://www.cwtv.com) and at least catch this past Friday’s two hour episode event titled “ABSOLUTE JUSTICE“. This episode features members of the Justice Society in a way that plays out very well both as a standalone episode as well as the way it relates to furthering Clark’s journey towards his eventual destiny.

    Now let’s go from SMALLVILLE to TV-VILLE and see what the tube has to offer this week.

    MONDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: If you didn’t see the spot with BARNEY during the Super Bowl than you may want to try to find it before tonight’s episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: I don’t know if tonight’s season finale will eventually be the series finale of HEROES. Let’s hope so since this sick dog really needs to be put down.

    VH1 – 9:00 PM: CELEBRITY FIT CLUB: BOOT CAMP is back and this time two little words are going to make me tune in: BOBBY BROWN. This has disaster written all over it.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: JOE TORRE guests on tonight’s episode of CASTLE with a baseball centric mystery. Baseball in winter, who’d a thunk it?

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: AMERICAN IDOL finally gets to Hollywood tonight which means we finally see how ELLEN DEGENERES does in the guest chair. Will it be good or will we be pining for PAULA?

    ABC – 9:00 PM: In this final season of LOST some of the titles play off of titles from seasons passed. Tonight’s episode, WHAT KATE DOES, is clever but I’m still waiting for April’s *spoiler* EVERYBODY LOVES HUGO episode.

    NBC – 10:00 PM: Once again we say goodbye to Jay before we once again say hello to Jay with the series finale of THE JAY LENO SHOW. Unlike Conan’s last episode I won’t be tuning in for this at all.

    WEDNESDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I have no recollection at all of A CHARLIE BROWN VALENTINE so I’m pretty sure I’ll know what I’ll be watching at 8:00 PM tonight.

    A&E – 8:00 PM: This re-air of DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER is the classic story of a good girl gone bad as the crew hunts down a stripper on the run.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight’s MODERN FAMILY has all the potential for full on laughter as we see everyone’s Valentine’s Day. Did I mention CAMERON and MITCHELL try to play cupid for little MANNY?

    HIST – 9:00 PM: The MONSTERQUEST team goes after MOTHMAN tonight. No, I didn’t confuse this with a plot from SMALLVILLE.

    THURSDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: How do you do an all-stars episode without calling it all-stars? SURVIVOR: HEROES vs. VILLAINS, that’s how! At least they got RUSSELL from last season. Let’s see how he does with a group that might know some of his shenanigans.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: PAST LIFE is a mystery / drama with a twist in the form of a psychologist that believes in “past-life trauma.” Yeah, um…. ok. How long until they get SHIRLEY MACLAINE to guest star?

    NBC – 9:00 PM: KATHY BATES shows up at THE OFFICE to tell MICHAEL and JIM that one of them has to return to the sales force. Too bad she won’t bring that block of wood and sledge hammer to drive her point home.

    FRIDAY

    NBC – 7:30 PM: The 2010 OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY rings in the Peacock’s $200 million loss as well as the Summer Olympic Games.

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Remember a few weeks back when I said that SMALLVILLE would be set in a Comic-Con style convention? Yeah, that actually airs tonight. This also kicks off tonight’s CW counter-programming strategy with a ZANTANA double feature as this ep is followed by last season’s episode feature the mysterious wish-granting lady.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: The Alphabet Network clearly throws in the towel counter-programming wise with a showing of the 2004 film SPIDER-MAN 2. Isn’t this usually FOX‘s move?

    SATURDAY

    BBC AMERICA – 8:00 PM: SURVIVORS is a remake of a 70’s series where 90% of the world’s population is taken out by a flu pandemic. Now I have to see if this show was out before THE STAND. M-O-O-N, that spells plagiarism.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: CBS offers up WEDDING CRASHERS for sacrifice to the Olympic counter-programming gods.

    HALLMARK – 9:00 PM: ELEVATOR GIRL gives all men false hope that they may fall in love with LACEY CHABERT when stuck in an elevator. Me? I’ve only been stuck in an elevator with an over-flatulent plumber named Carl.

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Two reasons to actually watch the new season of THE AMAZING RACE: JORDAN and JEFF from BIG BROTHER 11 decide the best way to continue dating is on another reality show and former Miss Teen USA CAITLIN UPTON, who gave the most confusing answer to why a fifth of Americans can’t find the country on a map, is now going to be globe-trotting.

    STYLE – 8:00 PM: RUBY is back for another season as we see the former 716 lb. gal continue to live the losing weight life and tugs on our heart-strings.

    BBC AMERICA – 8:00 PM: Miss the two-part story that served as the swan song for DAVID TENNANT’S great run as DOCTOR WHO? Tonight is your chance to catch it all.

    Will Wilkins was really entertained by the Letterman / Oprah / Leno Super Bowl spot.

  • TV Or Not TV: Completely and Totally Lost

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    Welcome to the special LOST edition of TV or Not TV where, well, yeah, the title says it all.

    LOST fans around the world have probably already spoken at length about the season premiere of the final season of LOST. I’m sure they’ve been all a-Twitter about it and I’m sure there is much debate about what they saw. As usual I am going to say this: IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODES DON’T READ THIS!

    The two episodes that made up the season premiere did something I didn’t know the show LOST could do: it gave the fans both of the possible outcomes from the bomb being set off at the time of The Incident. Somehow we are shown a version of Flight 815 that was never brought down by the Swan hatch button not being pressed and the plane lands safely in LAX. How is this possible? It would appear it is because the Island is now resting at the floor of the ocean after the bomb went off. After this amazing revelation what do we see? All of our favorite LOSTies recovering from apparently being thrown back into the present and coming to the realization that the plan DIDN’T work and they are still on the Island. I know, real easy to make sense out of.

    So what is it that we are seeing in these “flash” scenes? Clearly we’re not seeing the reality that the main events of the show are set in or else everyone would have to be wearing scuba gear. The sound that accompanies the flashes is different than seasons past as well, another clue that what we are see isn’t what we’re used to. There are people on Flight 815 that shouldn’t have been, there are some that aren’t on the flight that originally were. What we are seeing is an alternate reality. The real question I have about this is why? This is the last season of the show. Do we still really need a new method to tell what seems, on the surface, like a non-related story? With only 18 total episodes for the rest of the show to play out I’m sure they’ve already got enought story line to go around. Why do this to the audience?

    When it is all said and done the only rational use that I can see of this new method of storytelling is being done to eventually show us that life wasn’t going to be better off of the Island and that undoing everything wouldn’t have improved their lives at all. We are probably going to see these characters play out this alternate timeline in 2004 and each and every one of them is going to live a miserable existence that is unfufilling because these folks were meant to be where they are and doing what they are doing. Why are they doing it? I have no frickin’ clue.

    All of that being said I’m glad to see the show played out in a way that had me completely engrossed. Tonight was the first time in a long time I actually watched TV in real time instead of on a DVR delay so advertisers should be thrilled.

    Some of the bits that made me chuckle:

    – Alternate reality Charlie saying he was meant to die.
    – Alternate reality Hurley saying nothing bad ever happens to him and he’s the luckiest guy in the world.
    – Alternate reality Boone telling Locke that if the plane goes down he’s sticking with him to survive.
    – Having Hurley see Jacob an hour after his death. This kind of gives Hurley’s “gift” of seeing dead people a whole new purpose.
    – Finding out that the fake John Locke we saw back on the Island last season is Jacob’s Nemesis AND the Smoke Monster. With that knowledge in your head go back and watch DEAD IS DEAD from last season. Puts everything into a whole new context.
    – In reference to the item above: Ben saying to “Locke” You’re the monster and his response is “Let’s not resort to name calling.”
    – Finding out that there are still Others at the Temple. This tells me that these Others are possibly a different faction of the group, one not so willing maybe to follow Richard or the new regime. Maybe they are the more devout followers of Jacob? Not sure, but I like the possibilities.

    I’ll bite my tongue about this alternate reality story telling that is occurring and I will give it a chance to see how it plays out. By the second season of LOST the flashbacks were my least favorite part of the show and with everything going on even in these first two episodes the alternate reality stories had almost the same level of disinterest from me. They just feel like mind-confusing filler right now, so I really hope they go somewhere with this.

    Come back again next week where I’ll once again try to get a little less LOST with the rest of you.

  • TV Or Not TV: 2/1 – 2/7

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    Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I love it when spin gets spun out of control.

    I’ve not said a lot when it comes to the recent NBC Prime Time / Late Night debacle because this is really a matter of people that have made millions off of NBC who are getting bitten by the same network as it tries to recover from some really bad decisions. My silence, however, has to be broken when it comes down to the Jay Leno / Oprah interview from this last Thursday because this interview was almost as bad of an idea as the Jay Leno at 10 PM decision was.

    First and foremost let me say that I think Jay Leno wasted his time with this interview and I think it was done far too soon after all of the NBC late night drama. Jay was hoping for some PR spin through this Oprah interview because he has been labeled as the bad guy. This perception, however, doesn’t matter in respect to him returning as the host of The Tonight Show. The people that used to watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno will probably follow Jay back to The Tonight Show when he returns after the Winter Olympics because Middle America loves his non-confrontational and bland form of interviewing and entertainment. He’s their visual form of warm milk to take right before bed after they’ve watched their nightly news. This is the very reason that NBC wants to put him back into the Tonight Show driver seat.

    So why did he think it was such a good idea to go on Oprah so soon after Conan’s last show? He has to know there’s no way he can reclaim the devout “I’m with CoCo” people so those people have to be written off. I’m sure those people are also just a small portion of the actual viewing audience of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien. I think that the real motivation is in the branding of “bad guy” that he’s been smacked with. This attitude is reflected in his interviewing style since he never asks the hard questions and always lobs up celebrity softball questions. Jay wants everyone to like him and wants us to think he’s just like us, just with a cooler job and a far better paycheck.

    Prior to the Oprah interview I was willing to not exactly think of Jay as the bad guy, instead just being more of an accomplice. The bad guy in this scenario is actually NBC in having such an extreme reaction to their own bad decision to try to keep both Conan and Jay five years ago in a bid to avoid another David Letterman style defection to another network. The network also solidified it’s position as the bad guy for not really giving Conan a chance to grow in to The Tonight Show and have his audience build with him. Leno trailed Letterman in the ratings for almost three years before the Hugh Grant interview propelled him into a lead that the show held on to. Who knows what Conan would be doing a year from now?

    When it comes to The Tonight Show ratings I’d also like to point out that ever since Conan took over the show everyone and their brother knew that Leno would be premiering at 10:00 PM. In a completely un-scientific fashion I can tell you that for every commercial I saw for Conan’s The Tonight Show I saw there were at least 10 teaser commercials for The Jay Leno Show. How much of the former The Tonight Show audience was not giving Conan a chance while waiting to see what the forthcoming Jay Leno Show had to offer? I think it is also fair to compare Conan’s ratings to before and after the premiere of The Jay Leno Show where his bad ratings caused a drop in NBC affiliate local 11:00 PM news, which also translates as a lead in for Conan’s The Tonight Show, doesn’t it?

    Wait, didn’t Leno say something about affiliate complaints in his whine-fest during the Oprah interview? Yes he did, but the context he used it in was the following when asked if he thought by going back he was taking away Conan’s dream, “By going back to “The Tonight Show,” did he ever think that he was “taking away Conan’s dream?” “No. Because this is an affiliate decision. Affiliates felt that the ratings were low.” Now I’m now TV expert but this almost make Jay seem to be as well informed as Sara Palin regarding what paper she reads. The only thing I ever heard about affiliates complaints were that after The Jay Leno Show premiered the affiliates experienced up to a 49% drop in audience with their new lead in when compared to 10 PM dramas filled the time slot. Affiliates sell local ad time during their news with very little sold during 10 PM or after the 11:30 PM time slots. Don’t try and take a bit of information and twist it around to try to say that the affiliates were the driving force behind this. Oh, and Leno, what’s with this comment that Conan’s ratings were “destructive to the franchise”? Didn’t you just say in August of 2009 that you too were http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/11/jay-leno-defends-conans-r_n_256910.html beat up in the ratings early on in your The Tonight Show tenure? I guess your perspective is dictated by whatever the current corporate line is.

    Five years ago Leno was a victim, that’s true. The executives of NBC told him that they were giving the show that he loved to Conan to keep him from getting away. I’m sure there were plenty of corporate yes men that also surrounded Jay with smoke and sunshine to make him believe that the 10:00 PM time slot would be the greatest TV innovation of all time. The truth of the matter though is that he had his run and he had his time. I’d have far more respect for him if he hadn’t agreed to the 11:35 time slot move just on the word of NBC that they were either “75% sure Conan would go for it” or that they would “talk to him tomorrow” (both of which he has said, which one is it though?). The moral thing to do would have been to wait to see how Conan would feel about this, but then again I’m talking about the guy who in conjunction with his former manager set up the situation to essentially force Johnny Carson out of The Tonight Show.

    Don’t blow smoke up our ass Jay and make us think that you weren’t a part of this and don’t try to claim you were a victim. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that we’re just not buying it. Your Oprah interview did only one thing for me, it re-enforced for me that you are looking out for #1 and that’s about as far as your interest goes.

    OK, now that I’ve said my piece on this let’s move on to what else that our television viewing options are for the week.

    MONDAY

    TLC – 8:00 PM: Two hours of CAKE BOSS followed by an ULTIMATE CAKE OFF? Seriously TLC, I’m trying to lose weight here and you’re just an enabler!

    LOGO – 9:00 PM: Putting Kathy Griffin into the mix as a guest judge on the second season premiere of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE may have made this one a must watch for me this week.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: After the last two episodes I can’t tell you just how disappointing it is to me that this week’s CASTLE is a repeat from earlier this season.

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: The Peacock brings us the last hour of last week’s THE BIGGEST LOSER followed by this week’s two hour episode. What could they possibly be trying to counter-program against? Oh yeah…

    ABC – 8:00 PM: LOST is back with a one-hour “get you all caught up on the past five years” of the show before the two hour season premiere at 9:00 PM. Yeah, I’ll be glued to my seat and confused as all hell by 11:00 PM.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: VICTORIA BECKHAM is back tonight as a guest judge to creepily not emote very much in response to the contestants.

    WEDNESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: The good about MERCY? James Van Der Beek joins the class (the DAWSON!) The bad? I haven’t watched MERCY yet so I have no idea what this means.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: The good about HUMAN TARGET? Jackie Earle Haley. The bad? Just about everything else (accept Chi McBride as well).

    ABC – 9:00 PM: The good about MODERN FAMILY? Minnie Driver guests (and everything else). The bad? That we have to wait another week for a new episode.

    THURSDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: How do you get everyone ready for the special SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS? Put together a clip show and call it SURVIVING SURVIVOR.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: Kathy Bates guests as the CEO of the company that buys the parent company of THE OFFICE. How awesome would it be if she played the role as her role from MISERY?

    COMEDY – 10:30 PM: THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM returns for it’s third season with Sarah growing a disturbingly thick mustache and her sister falsely telling her she was born with both sex organs. OK, I get it, I’m not supposed to watch this show sober at all am I?

    FRIDAY

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Two hours of SMALLVILLE try to combat the Friday dull drums with special guest Pam Grier.

    BBCA – 8:00 PM: My inner 13 year just giggles every time I see MY BIG BREASTS AND ME on the schedule.

    SYFY – 9:00 PM: I have no idea what happens tonight on CAPRICA, but I’ll still be watching.

    SATURDAY

    AMC – 8:00 PM: If you’ve never seen SILVERADO than give this a chance instead of all of the other crud that is being offered tonight.

    TBS – 9:00 PM: OK, SILVERADO too butch for you? How about MEAN GIRLS instead?

    NBC – 11:30 PM: How do you follow-up an amazing appearance last week by JON HAMM on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE? Completely underwhelm the audience with ASHTON KUTCHER is my guess right now.

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 6:30 PM E / 3:30 PM P: This year I’ll ask the same question I always do about THE SUPERBOWL: which commercial will be the one I think is the best?

    ANIMAL PLANET – 6:00 PM E / 3:30 PM P: Yes, I know, based on my SUPERBOWL comment above you think I should just be watching the PUPPY BOWL.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: From 8 to 10 a repeat of MODERN FAMILY tops each hour, followed up by two back-to-back episodes at 10 PM. If you haven’t seen this great show yet here’s your chance to pace yourself.

    Will Wilkins will please stand by.  

  • TV Or Not TV: 1/25 – 1/31

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    Welcome to TV or Not TV where this week is bitter sweet (and I’m two days passed my deadline).

    This Friday will be the final ever episode of DOLLHOUSE. Although both seasons of the show didn’t start strong both really amped things up after their first six episodes. The writing was on the wall for the future of the show so the writers and producers geared up for a proper series finale that, so far, has been a pretty good ride.

    When you tune in Friday you might be a little confused if you haven’t rented or bought the first season home video release (and if you didn’t make sure your DVR was set to record it at 8 PM instead of 9 PM, it’s ending an hour earlier folks). I’m telling you this now because there is still time to get to your video rental store or modify your on-line queue and get the set before Friday. Trust me, you’ll want to. It contains the un-aired thirteenth Season 1 episode Epitaph One. It was originally shot to fill out the home video release but it acted as a bookmark to give us insight into where the show was headed if it hadn’t been renewed for a second season. This also makes it a prequel to this Friday’s series finale. If you have been watching the show and want to reward yourself with an entertaining 43 minutes of TV right before watching the series finale I’m telling you SEE EPITAPH ONE!

    Now that we’ve gotten the bitter out of the way let’s talk about, what I hope, is the sweet of this week. You must be thinking I’m going to tell you about something amazing to watch this week, right? Nope. This week is sweet because it is the gateway to next week when the two hour season premiere of LOST finally hits the airways and we can prepared to be entertained and confused all over again. I’m about to go in-depth here into season 5 so if you are a person that is trying to get caught up on the show from the premiere I’m going to tell you to quickly scroll down now to where you see the word MONDAY.

    When Season 6 of LOST premieres there are going to be a lot of people that are going to want to know if the bomb did in fact detonate in the bottom of the pit that JULIET fell down into. They are going to want to know if THE INCIDENT happened or if everything we’ve seen and watched so far have been undone. They are going to be hoping for many answers. Me? I’m just wanting one question answered: How does CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD work into all of this?

    I know this may sound like a non-mystery or a strange question to want to have answered but this one really bugs me. The reason why goes hand-in-hand with my theory that the guy who we saw at the beginning of the Season 5 finale on the beach with JACOB (mostly referred to as “the man in black”) was not only the revived JOHN LOCKE we saw walking around on the ISLAND but is also the thing we all call the SMOKE MONSTER. If this theory is true than it makes things like the activities in the Season 5 episode DEAD IS DEAD very interesting. BEN goes under THE TEMPLE and falls down a hole. LOCKE goes to find something to pull him up. At this point he stops being LOCKE and becomes the SMOKE MONSTER and faces off against BEN. Then the SMOKE MONSTER recedes and becomes BEN‘s dead daughter ALEX to tell him to do whatever LOCKE says. Then ALEX vanishes, becomes LOCKE again and shows up to haul BEN out of the hole. Brilliant in hind sight, right?

    The only thing I have a problem with all of this is CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD. Is CHRISTIAN also the MAN IN BLACK/SMOKE MONSTER or is he something/someone else? Moments before SUN and FRANK encounter CHRISTIAN in the old DHARMA barracks the SMOKE MONSTER is in the trees at the dock. He tells SUN that JIN is trapped in the 70’s and then tells SUN and FRANK they have to wait in BEN‘s old house. If you hook these elements up together with THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JEREMY BENTHAM where LOCKE is discovered in the water by the AJIRA flight 316 survivors, it could be that CHRISTIAN then travels back to the smaller island to become LOCKE. CHRISTIAN also was the one to confirm for LOCKE that he would have to bring the Oceanic 6 back and confirms for LOCKE that he must die while off the island, which would seem to work very well in the long term plan of the revived LOCKE/MAN IN BLACK to gain access to JACOB to finally kill him.

    Why do I wonder about this so much? If it is true that the appearances of CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD (and heck, every single dead person we’ve seen appear on the ISLAND) were in fact the MAN IN BLACK/SMOKE MONSTER than there has been a very long-term manipulation occurring during the series, or even a long con. SAWYER told us that the long con involves getting people to do what you want by manipulating them to think it is what they want to do. LOCKE was connected to the ISLAND and wants to save it and CHRISTIAN tells him in JACOB‘s cabin that he has to move the ISLAND (There’s also one more possible clue in the series finale where BRAM discovers that the ash ring around JACOB‘s cabin has been broken and they burn it down because “someone else has been using it.”). This action sets things in motion that allow people to escape the ISLAND and provides the MAN IN BLACK the ability (somehow) to appear as JOHN LOCKE when his dead body is brought back to the ISLAND. LOCKE, as the newest leader of the OTHERS, is granted access to get in to see JACOB and orchestrate his death (also through manipulation by playing on BEN‘s hatred). If there’s been a long con going on than the reason I want to know this answer so much is because it gives me an even higher level of appreciation for what the writers and producers have done with this show. If CHRISTIAN isn’t the MAN IN BLACK and isn’t in on the long con than he’s another player in this big game of dark against light that we don’t yet understand.

    When it all comes down to it this is one of the reasons that I enjoy LOST so much. It doesn’t just entertain me, it also makes me use my brain to think and ponder about all of this useless information. That’s definitely good TV.

    One final non-connected note: BOO to THE OFFICE for finally giving us a new episode and making it a clip show instead. THE OFFICE is already playing in synidcation enough that you don’t need a clip show guys and it’s just bad form.

    Now that I’m done completely geeking out let’s see what’s up for this week’s viewing choices.

    MONDAY

    Sorry guys, having completely blown my deadline Monday is now history. I enjoyed watching CHUCK, HEROES (I know, even I’m shocked at that one) CASTLE and the return of GREEK on ABC FAMILY. I’m sure I would have said something very witty about all of them.

    TUESDAY

    ABC – 8:30 PM: TED hooks his brother up with a job at VERIDIAN in tonight’s ep of BETTER OFF TED, and I’m sure this won’t backfire on him at all.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: GORDON RAMSEY starts to terrorize restaurants again with the season premiere of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight ABC offers us a LOST refresher with last season’s explosive (or not) finale. I’ve already re-watched it about 10 times and I bet I’ll STILL tune in tonight as well.

    USA – 10:00 PM: WHITE COLLAR tries to bring tonight’s big case down to the little guy with a judge involved in mortgage fraud. I bet this one has some amazing action sequences.

    WEDNESDAY

    9:00 PM EASTERN / 5:00 PM PACIFIC: The STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS rocks the schedule tonight for most networks. Do a shot every time he says “health care”, “common” and “American”. If someone screams out “YOU LIE!” you get to chug a beer.

    USA – 10:00 PM: PSYCH is back and gets RAW with guest star JOHN CENA (WWE jokes just aren’t my style, sorry).

    A&E – 10:00 PM: STEVEN SEAGAL LAWMAN and his crew hook up with the narcotics division for a bust. I wonder how many tweakers are going to think that seeing SEAGAL bust in on them is just a bad trip hallucination?

    THURSDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: JEFF PROBST takes a man battling Lou Gehrig’s disease on a bucket list world tour on LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Wedding guests suffocate from the inside out on tonight’s FRINGE. Maybe they were laughing too hard on the inside?

    USA – 10:00 PM: MICHAEL goes all DATELINE tonight on BURN NOTICE when he has to catch a child predator. I wonder if he’ll replace SAM with CHRIS HANSEN to ask the guy, “Why don’t you have a seat over there?”

    FRIDAY

    THE CW8:00 PM: Self-referential hi-jinks ensue when all of the action on SMALLVILLE tonight happens at a big Comic-Con inspired convention.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: I hope you took my warning to heart and made sure your DVR was set to record DOLLHOUSE at 8 PM instead of 9 PM.

    SYFY – 8:00 PM: Miss last week’s premiere of CAPRICA? Here’s another chance for you to see it before the 9:00 airing of the second episode.

    SATURDAY

    DISC – 4:00 PM: Given most of what is available today I think an 8 hour MYTHBUSTERS marathon is completely in order.

    USA – 6:00 PM: Get BOURNE again as USA airs THE BOURNE IDENTITY and THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM back-to-back. If you’ve never seen the films try not to be confused between the two as USA has decided to skip THE BOURNE SUPREMACY tonight.

    TLC – 8:00 PM: One of the judges for THE 2010 MISS AMERICA PAGEANT is RUSH LIMBAUGH?!? Beauty being judged by the Beast?

    SUNDAY

    HBO – 7:00 PM: ROSIE O’DONNELL’s documentary A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY: A ROSIE O’DONNELL CELEBRATION shows us all of the love and joy that can come from nontraditional families. I’m sure the Westboro Baptist Church is protesting it somewhere.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s time for the GRAMMY AWARDS where TAYLOR SWIFT once again faces off against BEYONCE (as well as the BLACK EYED PEAS, LADY GAGA and the DAVE MATHEWS BAND) for Album of the Year. Can TAYLOR do it again?

    ABC – 9:00 PM: JULIE BENZ goes from DEXTER‘s wife to a stripper on tonight’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES as SUSAN tries to help guide her to a new life.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: The only thing really funny in most of the sketches you’ll see in SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PRESENTS: SPORTS ALL-STARS is the unintentionally comical bad acting done by most of these athletes.

    Will Wilkins will return after this short commercial break.

  • TV Or Not TV: 1/18 – 1/24

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    MONDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Tonight, regardless of the real title, it’s CHUCK vs. JACK BAUER.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: 24 has become so cliche that I’ll just link to this drinking game to make the show more enjoyable.

    THE CW – 9:00 PM: Tonight in the series premiere of LIFE UNEXPECTED a 15 year old in the foster care system gets herself legally emancipated and tracks down her biological parents. It’s got a strong cast so this one shows some promise.

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: SHANIA TWAIN fills the PAULA seat tonight as the auditions continue on AMERICAN IDOL.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on THE BIGGEST LOSER a contestant threatens to quit. How exactly do you make a threat for leaving a show that saves your life?

    USA – 10:00 PM: After the mid-season finale of WHITE COLLAR‘s big cliff-hanger I’m sure a lot of people are looking forward to tonight’s premiere.

    WEDNESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Really I feel cheap and dirty mentioning AMERICAN IDOL twice but KRISTIN CHENOWITH is PAULA today.

    ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: OK, I looked up and down the schedule. I’m just not in to much that’s on so I’ll probably watch PIXAR SHORT FILMS again.

    THURSDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Two words can best describe why I’d recommend tonight’s episode of BONES: DIEDRICH BADER.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Great looking lawyers in a cut-throat law firm. ABC’s description is L.A. Law meets GREY’S ANATOMY. Great job refrencing a show over 15 years old guys. Way to keep it fresh.

    USA – 10:00 PM: BURN NOTICE returns and now instead of finding out who burned him MICHAEL WESTON has to find out who might be out to kill him, all while eatting nothing but yogurt.

    FRIDAY

    FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS – 8:00 PM: Celebrities raise money for the earthquake-ravaged nation with the two hour telethon HOPE FOR HAITI. ‘nuf said.

    SYFY – 9:00 PM: The big BSG prequel CAPRICA premieres tonight. Yeah, I’m going to give it a try.

    STARZ – 10:00 PM: The STARZ original series SPARTACUS takes a 300 inspired approach to telling the story of the main character.

    SATURDAY

    TBS – 8:00 PM: THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS garners so much respect it airs on TBS. Way to go SAG.

    COMEDY – 10:00 PM: ARTIE LANGE’s JACK & COKE re-airs tonight. Stay strong Artie, there’s a lot of us pulling for you.

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: A special two hour EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION means they plan on tugging on the heart strings in a big way.

  • TV Or Not TV: 1/11 – 1/17

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    Welcome to another very special edition of TV or Not TV where I’m completely kicked in the gut by Dollhouse and I’m not at all surprised about what has become of The Jay Leno Show.

    Folks, there is no way for me to talk about this past Friday night’s episode of Dollhouse, “GETTING CLOSER”, without being spoilerish. So I’m telling you right now that if you haven’t watched it yet and you are going to you’ll want to bookmark this now and come back later.

    So last night in the episode GETTING CLOSER a few key things happened. None of them really matter except for one big one and that was the reveal that Boyd Langton is one of the two people that started the Rossum corporation and is the one that is orchestrating everything in the company.  The reveal was amazing, the reveal was jaw dropping and the reveal was… confusing.

    The confusion for me occurs on many different levels. Already the Internet chatter is referring to this reveal as Boyd being the “big bad” and “evil” which I’m still kind of unclear on. Yes, clearly, this reveal sheds an entirely different light on the character itself and makes the entire series worth re-watching in trying to decipher Boyd‘s actions and motiviations. No one leads an entirely different life that isn’t up to something and usually those type of deceptive actions aren’t good. Even with all of this evidence at hand we see Boyd, moments before the big reveal, break the neck of an infiltrating security team member and telling Echo to “hang in there.” Even in his big reveal he says that she is special and will help them in ways she’ll never understand, which is the same thing that everyone else pretty much has been saying. Huh?

    OK, I can see snapping the security guys neck if he is running his own company from the shadows. It also goes in line with what is said during the reveal when he tells her that no harm will come to her. Trying to make sense of the rest, however, takes us back to the previous episode THE ATTIC (and some of the Season 1 home video exclusive EPITAPH ONE). The ability to imprint without Active Architecture technology that Topher was able to invent is eventually sold as a weapon to allow an entire city of people to be converted to whatever you want them to be: soldiers for your cause, insurgants, anything. Maybe Boyd had a long term plan that some how involved Echo being able to spark the creativity to get to that point in Topher originally. Even that is a bit of a conjecture stretch since Clyde in the attic said that there was a 97% chance of remote imprinting leading to the downfall of civiliation and pure chaos. With only a 3% likelyhood that the tech couldn’t get out of hand means that Boyd planned on Echo being his failsafe in restoring order should things go nutty. I really don’t know. Like I said earlier I’m just trying to make sense of it. Not an easy task at all.

    I don’t know if this big reveal was something that was conceived all along or a bit of genius that they were able to come up with a few episodes ago when they knew the show was winding up but I’m loving the thrill ride that we are on and I’m both sad that the show was cancelled but I’m so excited by the results.

    Speaking of shows that got cancelled how about The Jay Leno Show? I can’t say that I’m surprised at all since this prime time experiment was clearly one of the greatest network programming snafu’s imaginable. The part about all of this that amazes me is how arm chair critics could all predict, before the show even premiered, that the greatest problem the show would produce is lousy lead in ratings to local affiliate news and the execs and NBC couldn’t foreshadow it.

    I think, however, that the mistakes seem to keep on rolling. Now NBC is talking to the entire late night entertainment line up to see if they can get everyone to play nice so they can some how keep LENO by giving him a 30 minute show at 11:35 followed by The Tonight Show at 12:05 and Late Night at 1:05.  Really NBC? So you marginalized the guys impact by having him fail at 10:00 PM and now you are just hoping you can get back the ratings you are losing to Letterman by moving him back? Even better why not further alienate the subsequent shows so that when their contracts expire they go running right into the arms of a competitor? BRILLIANT! All of this just to keep Leno in the fear that he’ll go elsewhere? You’ve already tarnished whatever good name he had, let him go already!

    OK, I’ve said my piece. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty of what’s on TV this week.

    MONDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s the big 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother. After the previous 99 other episodes will we really be any closer to meeting this guys wife? Nope.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: If you didn’t get your fill of Chuck than you’re in luck because there’s another episode tonight! Chuck me if that isn’t just Chuck-tastic.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: OK, I have no idea how Fringe could have an un-aired episode from last season but it did and it airs tonight.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: Heroes, yeah, ok, seriously… who cares?

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Is there anything that really needs to be said about the return of American Idol?

    NBC – 8:00 PM: It’s the second week on The Biggest Loser so this week they find out just how badly their weight is affecting their body AND they might barely lose weight or even gain it. Who knows?

    ABC – 8:30 PM: Another week where Better Off Ted owns the :30 of each hour. I love it.

    WEDNESDAY

    TNT – 12:00 PM: How do you gear up for a new episode of Leverage? How about an 8 hour marathon? 

    FOX – 8:00 PM: OK, there is one thing to say about the return of American Idol. Letting some of these people through to the auditon in front of the judges is just malicious and cruel.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: After Claire finds dirty pics on the family PC Phil has some ‘splaining to do on Modern Family.

    THURSDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Look, tonight is stunt casting nigth on NBC. Jack Black on  Community, Will Arnett on Parks & Recreation, and James Franco on 30 Rock. Oh yeah, no new The Office.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Bones goes alien tonight with The X in the File.

    FX – 8:00 PM: If you haven’t already seen it why not take in The Simpsons Movie?

    TMC – 8:00 PM: OK, maybe Donnie Brasco instead?

    FRIDAY

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: Must be close to the return of Smallville with tonight’s two episodes that aired right before the break.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: The Hollow Man is the next to last ep of Dollhouse. My guess is that they are talkign about Boyd  in the title. Maybe?

    SATURDAY

    USA – 4:30 PM: A tough-guys-cold-heart-gets-melted-by-little-kids marathon hits with The Pacifier followed by The Game Plan. I’m sure it is all brought to you by The Spy Next Door (or Tooth Fairy).

    NBC – 8:00 PM: I’ve never seen a single episode Mercy but the repeat tonight’s title is one of the best I’ve ever seen. I Saw this Pig and I Thought of You.

    SUNDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Golden Globes will probably own the night. I’ll be interested to see what Ricky Gervais does with it.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: How do you counter program The Golden Globes? Pure adrenaline. FOX rolls out Human Target and this new show I hear mixed reviews about called 24.

    ABC – 9:00 PM: Are they really going to make Katherine sane on Desperate Housewives. Didn’t know you could come back that far from the deep end.

    Will Wilkins approved this message.

  • TV Or Not TV: 1/4 – 1/10

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    Welcome to another year of TV or Not TV where I’m amazed at what I will sit around and watch.

    This past week I was on vacation, but not the traditional vacation that you might invision. Some people like to go away from their home for several days and wear themselves out running around and doing things under the guise of having fun. Clearly, explained that way, you can see what I mean by that not being a vacation. Who can relax with all those activities and other nonsense? Not me. I did what every sane person would do: I took time off of work and I stayed home.

    In the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you that the majority of the time what I really spent my time doing was getting immersed in the world of the Lego Star Wars saga. Yes the prequels sucked but when you play them in Lego fashion they are actually quite entertaining, but I digress.

    When I wasn’t busy using the force I was watching movies on Blu-Ray, DVD and my Roku box. I watched all kinds of movies ranging from…. oh wait, this is a TV column and not a movie review column. Nuts. There went what I planned on writing about.

    All kidding aside what I love doing when I’m spending vacation at home during a holiday break is to find marathons of TV shows to get my couch potato on with. The only problem with hunting out these marathons is that they have to involve shows I haven’t already watched. What is the sense of sitting around the house and watching things you’ve already watched (like all five season of LOST…. hey, I have an excuse! The show is almost over)? This puts the viewing options back on the lap of DVD or some accidental discovery. Thanks to A&E I had one such accidental discovery.

    Last Wednesday I sat around just about the entire day watching DOG the Bounty Hunter. I, in my vaguest of memories, did peripherally watch one episode of this show while surfing my laptop. I didn’t pay it much mind. This time I got sucked in to the show.

    Early on in the marathon the show was really entertaining as DOG and his crew played their game of cat and mouse with bail jumpers in both Hawaii and Denver, Colorado.  DOG and his family also provided plenty of entertainment on their own both while on the chase and off. For at least two solid hours I was completely hooked.

    Somewhere around hour three I started to realize that what was really happening was me being sucked in to edited and fabricated drama. Most of the time you spend watching the show the cat and mouse action doesn’t really exist. What you have is lots of cat action, where the cat is looking for a mouse but might not be in the right place and right time and even though the cat seems to be doing a lot to give the impression that something is happening even when it isn’t. Finally the cat is in the right spot at the right time, there’s a quick pounce, and the cat has the mouse and then attempts to perform an intervention with the mouse to explain to the mouse how it has been living life wrong as a mouse before it eventually lets the mouse go. After I came to this realization (and really crappy analogy) I felt the same way I do after eating an entire tray of brownies: very unfulfilled and I realized I just spent my time doing something that won’t benefit me.

    What did I learn from this? Nothing really, it’s TV for gosh sakes. It’s not trying to teach me a thing. It just helps distract me when I eat brownies.

    Now that we’ve taken that very odd turn let’s see what the exciting world of television has to offer to us.

    MONDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: It’s a brand new season and train wreck as The Bachelor starts up again with a pilot looking for his one true… uh… whatever she is. They’ve even yucked it up by calling it On the Wings of Love. Maybe I’ll try to stomach watching it this season.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: I know, why am I recommending Heroes still? I have on idea really. I’m just curious to see what they do to send of Nathan now that he’s been dead since last season.

    ABC – 10:00 PM: I wonder how the great entertainers of the golden age of television would feel to know that one day a reality show named Conveyor Belt of Love would exist.

    TUESDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: It’s a New Year and a new season of The Biggest Loser. This season is all about family couples and just like seasons past they are bringing out some of the biggest contestants we’ve ever seen. I’m in, as always.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: If you can stomach the new Scrubs at the top of each hour you can enjoy two episodes of Better Off Ted at the bottom of each hour.

    HIST – 10:00 PM: Life After People returns with an examination of what happens to the relics of religion over time if humans suddenly were to disappear. I just hope the Shroud of Turin doesn’t become a pigeon’s nest.

    WEDNESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Two more repeats of Glee fill in until American Idol returns.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Celebrities try to fool the public into thinking they are regular schlubs like us performing menial jobs in I Get That a Lot.

    FX – 10:00 PM: The final season of Nip/Tuck premieres tonight. Wait, didn’t the last season end like three weeks ago?!?

    THURSDAY

    SYFY – 5:00 PM: 8 hours of Chuck repeats from season 2 tries to get us in the mood for the Buy More employee’s return on the 10th! Everything else is in repeats anyway so this is good watching people.

    VH1 – 10:00 PM: Celebrity Rehab returns with Dr. Drew trying to help Heidi Fleiss, her former beau Tom Sizemore, Dennis Rodman and fresh off her shocking book tour Mackenzie Phillips. I feel like I need a shower after just typing about this one.

    FRIDAY

    TCM – 6:00 AM: Today Elvis would have been 75, so TCM is rolling out an all day marathon of his movies.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: They are setting the stage for the beginning of the end on Dollhouse tonight. ’nuff said?

    ABC – 9:00 PM: The vicious panel of would-be investors returns with tonight’s return of Shark Tank.

    SATURDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: If you are beating yourself up over missing the season premiere of The Bachelor than ABC is giving you a second chance tonight.

    BBCA – 8:00 PM: If you missed the premiere of Demons after the final David Tennant episode of Dr. Who last night you have a chance to catch it again tonight before the second ep airs at 9.

    SUNDAY

    FOX – 8:30 PM: Super Size Me documentarian Morgan Spurlock delves deep into Springfield’s most famous family in The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3D! On Ice!

    TLC – 9:oo PM: Harrison Ford narrates Brace for Impact where we hear Captain Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III and others recount the Hudson River landing of US Airways Flight 1549.

    NBC – 9:00 PM: It’s the two hour season premiere of the upgraded Chuck flunking out of spy school. Grab Subway for dinner if you’re glad the show is back.

    Will Wilkins just met Fred.

     

  • TV Or Not TV: 12/21 – 12/27

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    Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I apperently beat myself to the punch.

    After breaking out the family copy of It’s a Wonderful Life and sobbing uncontrollably I was ready to come here and extole the virtues of this movie that I still love after all of these years. I drafted several paragraphs talking about this movie and just when I sat down to commit them all here at Quick Stop Entertainment I discovered, to my horror, that I had already written about the movie this same time last year!

    Even though I clearly was in a smiliar frame of mind this time last year I looked back at last year’s article and find that I really scratched the surface of why I enjoy this holiday classic. I talked a bit about the plot, I talked a bit about what the film means to me, but what I really found was someone that was clearly not writing from the heart but was instead writing to meet a deadline. It happens from time to time. I sit down with the best of intentions but, usually, I’m well behind and I just try to crank out a few paragraphs to get to the listings so I can put the week behind me.

    I have to say, however, that I just can’t do that this year. Even though I’ve written about it I also just can’t not write about It’s a Wonderful Life this year. I’ve already put in a few paragraphs that would be a decent buffer before my snarky comments on the shows for this week,  but for some reason I connected with this movie a lot more than years past.

    When it comes to watching this film you could always count on Sam Wainwright‘s telegram choking me up, as well as seeing all of the townsfolk helping George Bailey out in his time of need. This year, however, the waterworks began well before that. Seeing the young George walk in to Mr. Gower’s drug store I already started to get choked up. I’ve seen the movie more years than not, I know what is coming with every single frame of the film, but this year I found the same thing happening with several scenes.

    Part of what was happening with me might be the appreciate that can only come with age. It’s a Wonderful Life captures several era’s that truly were simpler  and more innocent times. Seeing these moments on film must have made me reflect on my own simpler times as a child. I am sure that many of you from my generation can remember leaving the house during a summer morning and having only two requirements: be back for lunch and be back before the street lights come on. Our parents could trust us out in the world, having our own adventures, having our own fun. In today’s world I wouldn’t trust my daughter to be safe 10 minutes alone in my front yard let alone riding all over the neighborhood on her bike. Simpler and more innocent times, indeed.

    Watching the film I probably realized that I’m somewhere in the ballpark of having an equal number of years behind me as I do ahead of me (at least I hope) and I see the things that George does, the sacrifices he makes for his family and the greater good, and I start to wonder if I too have been making the right choices in life that will benefit my family and the lives that I’ve come to touch. Have I had a positive influence? Have I contributed to the greater good? Who would think that a movie could lead to deep innner-self examination?

    There is, also, one solid reason to having the emotional reaction to this movie that I did. Two years ago my father passed and the holidays are very tough times as is. He’s not there to share my thoughts with any more, at least not directly. I miss him and so many of the eras depicted in It’s a Wonderful Life I remember my Dad commenting on when we would watch the movie, since he had lived through a few of them. Even though I hadn’t realized it at the time I now know that my wanting to watch It’s a Wonderful Life so much this year was because I wanted to reconnect with my father again, and through this movie I was able to.

    I hope all of you that are nice enought to take the time to read this column have a great holiday season. Appreciate your loved ones that you have around, watch the TV shows or movies that remind you of them if they aren’t, and remember truly It’s a Wonderful Life.

    Now that I’ve set my emotional baggage out there for your to read let’s take a trip throught he listings that are available this week.

    MONDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: I’ve still never been to Needles, CA but Snoopy’s brother Spike drops by from there for I Want a Dog For Christmas, Charlie  Brown!

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Last week I’m sure I mocked The Sing-Off however I watched it every night it was on last week and tonight’s finale has got me as well. I’ll put my money on NOTA to win.

    TUESDAY

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Did you miss Carrie Underwood: An All-Star Christmas Special the first time around? Yeah, me too. Gonna watch it this time? Yeah, me either.

    ABC FAMILY- 8:30 PM: With the holidays comes nastalgia, and with nastalgia I sugged Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Trust me, the snozzberries DO taste like snozzberries.

    WEDNESDAY

    SPIKE – 9:00 AM: If you really want to torture yourself you can take in all the Star Wars Prequels back-to-back-to-back not once but twice in one day! Befre you do, however, I strongly suggest watching The Phantom Menace Reviews full seven parts.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be time for another celebrity concert on TV The 11th Annual A Home for the Holidays with Faith Hill sucker punches you.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: If you haven’t gotten your Who on yet than you’ve got one last chance to take in Dr. Suess’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

    THURSDAY

    FMC – 3:00 PM: I don’t know who thought that Home Alone would be a great holiday movie to have playing for the next 36 hours, but it’s gonna happen regardless.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Yup, it’s Christmas Eve so they’ve rolled out the Frank Capra classic It’s a Wonderful Life to try to make me sob one more time.

    TBS – 8:00 PM: For the 13th straight year Ralphie‘s quest for an official Red Ryder carbine-action two-hundred-shot range model air rifle in A Christmas Story is on a 24 hour loop to bring more cheer to your holiday.

    FRIDAY

    ABC – 9:00 AM: If you just can’t wait to see Ryan Seacrest on December 31st than you can see him as the host of Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade.

    SPIKE – 9:00 AM: SPIKE goes the A Christmas Story route with Bad Santa for 18 hours.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Nothing says home for the holidays like a sack of  Schwetty Balls. Don’t believe me? Here’s your second chance to watch Saturday Night Live Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas. Yeah it’s hit or miss but it’s better than… um… I really don’t know.

    SATURDAY

    E! – 8:00 PM: I guess it was inevitable since the network was featured in Knocked Up that it would eventually air on E!

    BBC AMERICA – 9:00 PM: It’s the next to last installment of David Tennant in Dr. Who: The End of Time Part 1.

    SUNDAY

    ABC – 7:00 PM: OK, this may finally be the year that I watch The Sound of Music. Maybe.

    AMC – 8:00 PM: Another of my favorite movies I was too young to appreciate is Jeremiah Johnson.

    ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: Can someone out there please explain to me how Billy Madison qualifies as family programming?

    Will Wilkins never thought it was such a bad little tree.

  • TV Or Not TV: 12/14 – 12/20

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    Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I think I really am Better Off Ted.

    Last season, when Better Off Ted had it’s original 13 episode run, I didn’t give the show very much of a chance beyond the first two episodes. This really isn’t a commentary about the quality of the show itself mind you. I have a lot of television to watch both recreationally and professionally so you I’m sure what you are getting at here. There is a lesson to be learned here becuase, as with any show, you really have to get past the first six episodes before you decide whether you are going to stick with it or not because any show needs this time to flesh out their characters.

    Thanks once again to the amazing world of online viewing and last week’s premiere I went back and gave the show a second viewing and was very pleased that I did.

    Clearly after the first two episodes the show emerged as a very crips comedy that is well written and well timed. Jay Harrington plays the titles Ted who narrates and guides us through the mechinations of conglomerate Veridian Dynamics. It is almost scary to see how well Portia de Rossi plays the incredibly frigid boss Vivian and the rest of the ensemble cast comes together incredibly well. The comedy is good, the writing and pace are tight, and they’ve even kept things topical with elements like pention cut-backs top make the show a little more relatable.

    Even though the show is very entertaining it seems to be suffering from one little problem: a lack of viewers.  It’s second season premiere episode garnered only approximately 3.8 million total viewers which unfortunately put it in 4th place for the time slot it’s in. This is not exactly great news for a sophmore season starter.

    I don’t really know what ABC is thinking, especially when you look at their schedule. They seem to mix comedies and dramas left and right and for most of December it would appear that the comedies of Tuesday night all have Christmas Special lead-ins for most of the month. Right now Better Off Ted is following the returning/re-imagined Scrubs in this holiday special clean-up hour. In it’s final season, after moving from NBC to ABC, Scrubs didn’t exactly do gangbuster numbers. The fact that it is an ABC produced show is probably what weighed in on the decision to bring it back in this new form, even if it does come across as a barely visible shadow of its former greatness. I don’t think it helps Better Off Ted that its lead in is this new version of Scrubs and I partially wish the schedule were the other way around. I definitely think that Better Off Ted would be better off as the lead in and may help raise the numbers for the nine o’clock time slot as well as provide a better lead in for zombie Scrubs.

    I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Scrubs is tollerable and if you can make your way through it you’d do yourself a favor sticking around after for Better Off Ted.

    Now that I’ve done my arm-chair programming let’s take a look at the other shows that are available for you to view even if you don’t want to view them.

    MONDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: So let me get this straight: if you don’t win a big reality show you can win an Oscar and get your own holiday special like Jennifer Hudson: I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Somewhere Fantasia Barrino is seriously pissed.

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Nick Lachey hosts the first Glee inspired reality train wreck called The Sing-Off. I’m sure a cappella never sounded so good… on paper. Strap in folks because this is an all week event.

    THE CW – 8:00 PM: If you’ve never watched The Vampire Diaries (like me) than you can watch all this week to get caught up (which I probably won’t). Yup, nothing says the holidays like the blood-sucking undead.

    E! – 10:0o PM: The Dragon’s Den concept gets coupled with the vapid of the entertainment industry and their desire to wash away their sins by doing good in the world in Bank of Hollywood.

    TUESDAY

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Holiday special purists may be happy to know that the selective editing may be left out in this airing of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

    FOX – 9:00 PM: Get step-by-step instructions on how to prepare a three course meal with Gordon Ramsey: Cookalong Live. Real handy being able to do this at nine o’clock at night.

    SYFY – 8:00 PM: If you never caught The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and you have SyFy than this might be your chance.

    ABC – 9:30 PM: Layoffs on Better Off Ted? In this economy?

    WEDNESDAY

     ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM:  Having a six-year-old daughter I’ve seen Happy Feet at least 20 times. I’m still not sure how I feel about the mixed message that a developmentally challenged penguin saving the environment. I know, right?

    NBC – 8:00 PM: Well if you haven’t yet taken in The Sing-Off than I’m sure that the finalists being forced to perform medleys from popular artists. Yeah, me either.

    CARTOON NETWORK – 8:00 PM: See how Christmas isn’t something bought in a store with How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

    THURSDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: It’s been 2002 since we’ve seen a holiday special from SNL so wrap your d!@k in a box real nice and check out Saturday Night Live Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas. Sorry.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s the last episode before the big finale. Will the evil Russell actually make it to the finale intact or will he be in the jury where everyone hates him?

    FRIDAY

    DISNEY – 7:00 PM: Once again you can relive the magic of The Santa Clause and The Santa Clause 2 back-to-back.

    FOX – 8:00 PM: Fans of Dollhouse will definitely want to watch the second hour of tonight’s show that is titled The Attic so we’ll finally get to see where no one wants to go.

    CBS – 8:00 PM: They just don’t come cooler than Frosty the Snowman. I remember loving this special as a kid and being shocked at the animation as an adult.

    SATURDAY

    NBC – 8:00 PM: A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa may not be the best special out there but it is certainly better than…

    NBC – 9:00 PM: WWE Tribute to the Troops. If you’ve ever wanted to see how desperate a network was to have a holiday special (or to fill time) than look no further.

    BBC AMERICA – 9:00 PM: It’s a shame that David Tennant’s tenure as the good doctor is nearing its end so be sure to catch Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars.

    NBC – 11:30 PM: Hopefully guest host James Franco will let us in on the reason he’s been doing that soap opera tonight on Saturday Night Live.

    SUNDAY

    CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s the two hour finale of Survivor: Samoa and at press time I’m hoping that Russell is a finalist just to hear the jury rip him a new one.

    TNT – 8:00 PM: Another celebrity packed holiday special with Christmas in Washington is hosted by George Lopez and features Usher, Justin Bieber, Sugarland, Rob Thomas, Mary J. Blige and the legendary Neil Diamond.

    ABC – 8:00 PM: Oh look, The Santa Clause 3 is on an ABC channel… again.

    Will Wilkins had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes! 

     

  • TV Or Not TV: The Morning After for GLEE

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    Welcome to another very special episode of TV or Not TV where I’m feeling very GLEE-ful.

    That's a wrap.... until the Spring.

    Last night the mid-season finale of GLEE aired and I have to admit that the show really impressed me with what it was able to deliver on.  There was tension, there was drama and there was redemption. Oh yeah, there was also a lot of singing and dancing, but those are to be expected.

    First and foremost I would like to say that it was nice to see a lot of the more soap opera like story lines coming to a close and I hope that they are able to carry the last nine episodes of the season in a bit more grounded fashion. The drama surrounding Quinn and her baby, the craziness of Will Schuester‘s wife Terri and her baby-faking, the depressing wedding plans of mysophobic Emma, and the ever escalating level of delusional superiority by Cheerios head coach Sue Sylvester all lead to many moments where I was wanting to yell at my television rather than watching it.

    Yes I know that a show requires drama to carry itself along week-to-week and the characters need elements to create tension between them, but some of these story lines have in many ways distracted me from the show itself. A great example would be the episode titled BALLAD where we had the “A” story of Rachel developing a crush on Will and the “B” story of Finn being doubtful of his ability to sing a ballad in front of everyone and how to deal with the parents of his pregnant girlfriend. The “A” story kept me engaged and connected to the show because it was entertaining, comical when appropriate while being serious where needed and didn’t at any time take me out of the “moment” of just being a passive participant. The scene where Will sings to Rachel with Emma there was perfect in the way that the entire plan backfires on Will both with Rachel AND Emma. In contrast the “B” story left me extremely uncomfortable since I was first assaulted by a boy singing to the sonogram of an unborn child that, I knew, wasn’t his. Later when Finn sings to Quinn in front of her parents to get the message out that there’s a bun in the oven I was completely detached from the show because of the awkwardness of the scene and the pure unbelievability that anyone could be as much of a buffoon as Quinn was being at that given moment.

    Last night’s finale was very well balanced and almost never took me out of the moment. Almost every storyline that has been dangling out there was resolved. Finn knows the truth about Quinn‘s baby, all of Sue‘s past transgressions were brought to light, Will dealt with last week’s fallout with Terri, NEW DIRECTIONS! went to sectionals and things seem to have majorly changed for Emma. In many ways this thirteenth episode of the show seemed to have taken a show that has had it’s head a bit in the clouds and brought it firmly back to Earth for a very stellar episode. The sub-plots that were set in motion in HAIROGRAPHY played out nicely in allowing us to see NEW DIRECTIONS! perform new musical numbers instead of the ones that were planned, which I am sure helped to fill out the two soundtracks that are now available from the show. We were even handed a nice little gift with the panel of judges for sectionals. It was an amusing contrast to have the hopes and dreams of the show choir in the hands of a group made up of quasi-celebrities and a city official, none of which really seemed to care about the job at hand.

    My only complaint in last night’s episode was the choreography of the final musical number as Will is treated to the Kelly Clarkson hit My Life Would Suck Without You. Some of it was a little too risque for me to handle, but then again I’m a 38 year-0ld male that isn’t the real demographic here.

    I don’t know what new directions NEW DIRECTIONS! will be taking us in the spring of 2010 but I hope this break will give the writers and producers a chance to help level out some of the characters and do something constructive with the feedback they’ve been given. The show truly is one of my guilty pleasures and if they can get it to where there are less moments where I shake my head in disbelief and frustration it may almost be perfect in my mind.

    – Will Wilkins’ life would also suck without you.