More often than not I sit down to write this column and I have to face down the biggest and hardest part of the entire part: finding something intelligent to say about something on television. This can be anything from a breakdown/analysis of what is happening on one of my favorite shows to my take over-all on the direction I see something taking, whatever that thing may in fact be. I toil over this portion because I, unlike many of my print oriented (and some web based) piers, don’t receive early reviewer copies of any of the shows. It can be a bit of an uphill battle but at times I get struck in the head with a bit of an idea that I’m able to run with and I walk away happy. This isn’t one of those weeks.
The truth be told I keep finding less and less time to watch television. Lately I had been literally wasting hours on the weekend to get caught up on the TV shows that I’m interested in watching. For the past two weekends, however, I’ve actually been getting off the of the couch and doing things so I’ve cut down my viewing time even more. I’m a TV critic that has very little time right now to watch TV. What, than, am I to write about?
When I think about that last question the first thing that comes in to my mind is the upcoming end of LOST. A saga is coming to a close with only five hours remaining to be seen, ever. The show leaves me in the same place that I have always been, the same place that the title implies. I’m clueless on where the show is going or what, in fact, is going on. I really want, at this point, to have a better clue of what it is that is happening. The past two seasons did a wonderful job of filling us in by creating their own little mini-mysteries that they answered in a well paced fashion. When it comes to this last season, however, I’m almost tired from all of it. I don’t want the stories to confuse me, I just want them to amaze me and make sense. I’m still thoroughly enjoying the show but it requires far too much attention and effort to keep up with. From the outside looking in I can understand why it is a show that my wife just can’t stand. I’ve come this far on the journey, however, so I’m in it for the full haul. I’m also hoping this week really has some good stuff in it so I have more to write about as the week progresses.
Since I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t have much to highlight up here let’s actually travel below where we can find out what it is that we might or might not want to watch this week, shall we?
MONDAY
NBC – 8:00 PM: The Fred Willard TV tour continues as he pops up on this week’s CHUCK along side Swoosie Kurtz (whose name still sounds like a form of sea sickness to me) playing a husband and wife CIA team. All the real TV critics say their performance tonight is stellar.
TLC – 8:00 PM: After all of the drama surrounding the upcoming World Dwarf Games on LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG WORLD last week Matt drops the bombshell that he won’t be able to travel to Belfast for the first few days of the game. The nerve!
CBS – 9:00 PM: Sheldongoest to extreme measures to keep Leonard and Penny happy once they stop speaking to one another on tonight’s BIG BANG THEORY. Apparently ‘extreme measures’ means time-shifting the show into the slot that TWO ANDA HALF MEN usually occupies.
FOX – 9:00 PM: Jack Bauer stops at nothing to avenge Renee‘s death on 24. OK, maybe it was Jack who pushed BIG BANG THEORY back 30 minutes because he can do anything.
BRAVO – 10:00 PM: You would think after seeing themselves on television last year THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEYwould have considered some slight attitude adjustments. Change who they are? Fahgedaboudit!
TUESDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on AMERICAN IDOL we find Harry Conick Jr. mentoring the five finalists on singing the songs of Frank Sinatra, and an entire generation is lost wondering who either of those people are.
NBC – 8:00 PM: I know I talk about THE BIGGEST LOSERevery single week but if you are not happy about your weight and you want inspiration then tune in tonight because it’s the makeover show. These people get spruced up and we get assaulted with tons of before and after pics. I would almost guarantee instant inspiration and motivation.
ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, I know I also talk about LOST just about every week it is on but seriously folks, we’re down to the last five hours of this show…. ever…. the body count has to start going up, right? Oh, and if you’ve never watched a single episode of LOST you really may get a kick out of THIS BLOG where the writer is someone watching this final season without seeing a single episode prior. Great for fans and non-fans alike. So enjoyable I just re-read it and lost 25 minutes that I could have been writing this column with. Damn!
FOX – 9:00 PM: I seriously have no idea what is going on with GLEE this week. Sue is singing again plus Olivia-Newton John is a special guest (again, a generation wonders who she is and I cry a little inside).
WEDNESDAY
A&E – 8:00 AM: Can anyone tell me why there’s an all day marathon of BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR?
FOX – 9:00 PM: If my prayers have been answered then tonight when Harry Conick Jr. and Lady Gaga perform on AMERICAN IDOL it will be in duet form in the most PICASSO inspired visual performance the world has ever seen! This will, however, not be the night my prayers have been answered.
ABC – 9:00 PM: Gloria invites the entire family on a trip to Hawaii on tonight’s MODERN FAMILY. Not since The Brady Bunch have I looked this forward to a Hawaiin getaway. Please someone tell me that Phil finds a cursed tiki doll!
THURSDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: The circle of literature life is complete as the author of the books BONES was based upon pens the script for tonight’s episode.
NBC – 8:00 PM:An on-campus paintball competition unleashes the dogs of war in the most glorious and loving paradoy of action films ever seen on a sitcom on tonight’s COMMUNITY. No wonder this show received an early renewal.
CBS – 8:00 PM: Why lie? I’m two week’s behind on SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS and I have no idea what’s going on with the show currently. Even after that admission I have no fear is saying it’s still possibly the best season of SURVIVOR ever.
FOX – 8:00 PM: Someone visits from ‘the other side’ on tonight’s episode of FRINGE. How awesome would it be if it were just some random file clerk named Gary who has no idea he’s even in a different reality/universe?
MTV – 10:00 PM: Four Finnish fellows take over the Jackass mantle as they abuse themselves for your pleasure in THE DUDESONS IN AMERICA. Before you write it off as a Jackass rip-off I should tell you the show is executive produced by Johhny Knoxeville himself so think of it as a companion show where he gets smart and pays other people to risk body and health.
FRIDAY
TheCW – 8:00 PM: Mama Kent returns to SMALLVILLE and she’s dating PERRY WHITE! Oh yeah, CLARKalso searshes for a way to deal with the Kandorians… still.
CBS – 9:00 PM: Ariel loses days and years of time and has to someone look to her future self for the way to get back to the past on tonight’s MEDIUM. I know, it makes no sense to me either.
STARZ – 10:00 PM: After last week’s charity auction it will be nice to see the PARTY DOWN team get back to a more wholesome and relatable gathering like the orgy they cater tonight. Wait, what?
SATURDAY
TLC – 2:00 PM: June bride’s who might be wanting a break from their impending nuptials may want to stay away from five straight hours of SAY YES TO THE DRESS. Wait until 6:00 PM so you can watch in horror at 8 straight hours of TODDLERS & TIARAS.
SYFY – 9:00 PM: I’m dying to know what network executive heard the title of the movie MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM and thought, “Oh yeah, that’s movie GOLD!”
NBC – 11:30 PM: The Internet demanded it so ladies and gentlemen SNL proudly presents to you tonight’s special guest host Betty White!
SUNDAY
DHC – 5:00 PM: Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like a marathon of I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT. It’s nice to see that someone at Discovery Health has a sense of humor.
CBS – 8:00 PM: THE AMAZING RACE 16 comes to a close and I can only say, “I never watched you.”
FOX – 8:00 PM: Mo writes letters to the vacationing Homer,Rev. Lovejoy and Apu that he will run away with one of their wives on this special Mother’s Day edition of THE SIMPSONS.
CBS – 9:00 PM: Tom Selleck returns for his sixth time to TV as the title character in JESSE STONE: NO REMORSE. Why oh why can’t they do a Magnum, P.I. reunion instead?
A&E 9:30 PM: On GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS I’m more than a bit shocked that Gene accepts an invitation to compete on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, in all seriousness, John Barrowman‘s character Patrick on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES really gives me the creeps.
Comments: 1 Comment
One Response to “TV Or Not TV: 5/3 – 5/9”Leave a Reply |
May 6th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
“All the real TV critics…” Will, you take that back! You ARE a real TV critic! Keep up the good work!
PS From a non-Lost watcher, I’m so glad the series is almost over!