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Welcome to TV or Not TV where this week is bitter sweet (and I’m two days passed my deadline).

This Friday will be the final ever episode of DOLLHOUSE. Although both seasons of the show didn’t start strong both really amped things up after their first six episodes. The writing was on the wall for the future of the show so the writers and producers geared up for a proper series finale that, so far, has been a pretty good ride.

When you tune in Friday you might be a little confused if you haven’t rented or bought the first season home video release (and if you didn’t make sure your DVR was set to record it at 8 PM instead of 9 PM, it’s ending an hour earlier folks). I’m telling you this now because there is still time to get to your video rental store or modify your on-line queue and get the set before Friday. Trust me, you’ll want to. It contains the un-aired thirteenth Season 1 episode Epitaph One. It was originally shot to fill out the home video release but it acted as a bookmark to give us insight into where the show was headed if it hadn’t been renewed for a second season. This also makes it a prequel to this Friday’s series finale. If you have been watching the show and want to reward yourself with an entertaining 43 minutes of TV right before watching the series finale I’m telling you SEE EPITAPH ONE!

Now that we’ve gotten the bitter out of the way let’s talk about, what I hope, is the sweet of this week. You must be thinking I’m going to tell you about something amazing to watch this week, right? Nope. This week is sweet because it is the gateway to next week when the two hour season premiere of LOST finally hits the airways and we can prepared to be entertained and confused all over again. I’m about to go in-depth here into season 5 so if you are a person that is trying to get caught up on the show from the premiere I’m going to tell you to quickly scroll down now to where you see the word MONDAY.

When Season 6 of LOST premieres there are going to be a lot of people that are going to want to know if the bomb did in fact detonate in the bottom of the pit that JULIET fell down into. They are going to want to know if THE INCIDENT happened or if everything we’ve seen and watched so far have been undone. They are going to be hoping for many answers. Me? I’m just wanting one question answered: How does CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD work into all of this?

I know this may sound like a non-mystery or a strange question to want to have answered but this one really bugs me. The reason why goes hand-in-hand with my theory that the guy who we saw at the beginning of the Season 5 finale on the beach with JACOB (mostly referred to as “the man in black”) was not only the revived JOHN LOCKE we saw walking around on the ISLAND but is also the thing we all call the SMOKE MONSTER. If this theory is true than it makes things like the activities in the Season 5 episode DEAD IS DEAD very interesting. BEN goes under THE TEMPLE and falls down a hole. LOCKE goes to find something to pull him up. At this point he stops being LOCKE and becomes the SMOKE MONSTER and faces off against BEN. Then the SMOKE MONSTER recedes and becomes BEN‘s dead daughter ALEX to tell him to do whatever LOCKE says. Then ALEX vanishes, becomes LOCKE again and shows up to haul BEN out of the hole. Brilliant in hind sight, right?

The only thing I have a problem with all of this is CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD. Is CHRISTIAN also the MAN IN BLACK/SMOKE MONSTER or is he something/someone else? Moments before SUN and FRANK encounter CHRISTIAN in the old DHARMA barracks the SMOKE MONSTER is in the trees at the dock. He tells SUN that JIN is trapped in the 70’s and then tells SUN and FRANK they have to wait in BEN‘s old house. If you hook these elements up together with THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JEREMY BENTHAM where LOCKE is discovered in the water by the AJIRA flight 316 survivors, it could be that CHRISTIAN then travels back to the smaller island to become LOCKE. CHRISTIAN also was the one to confirm for LOCKE that he would have to bring the Oceanic 6 back and confirms for LOCKE that he must die while off the island, which would seem to work very well in the long term plan of the revived LOCKE/MAN IN BLACK to gain access to JACOB to finally kill him.

Why do I wonder about this so much? If it is true that the appearances of CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD (and heck, every single dead person we’ve seen appear on the ISLAND) were in fact the MAN IN BLACK/SMOKE MONSTER than there has been a very long-term manipulation occurring during the series, or even a long con. SAWYER told us that the long con involves getting people to do what you want by manipulating them to think it is what they want to do. LOCKE was connected to the ISLAND and wants to save it and CHRISTIAN tells him in JACOB‘s cabin that he has to move the ISLAND (There’s also one more possible clue in the series finale where BRAM discovers that the ash ring around JACOB‘s cabin has been broken and they burn it down because “someone else has been using it.”). This action sets things in motion that allow people to escape the ISLAND and provides the MAN IN BLACK the ability (somehow) to appear as JOHN LOCKE when his dead body is brought back to the ISLAND. LOCKE, as the newest leader of the OTHERS, is granted access to get in to see JACOB and orchestrate his death (also through manipulation by playing on BEN‘s hatred). If there’s been a long con going on than the reason I want to know this answer so much is because it gives me an even higher level of appreciation for what the writers and producers have done with this show. If CHRISTIAN isn’t the MAN IN BLACK and isn’t in on the long con than he’s another player in this big game of dark against light that we don’t yet understand.

When it all comes down to it this is one of the reasons that I enjoy LOST so much. It doesn’t just entertain me, it also makes me use my brain to think and ponder about all of this useless information. That’s definitely good TV.

One final non-connected note: BOO to THE OFFICE for finally giving us a new episode and making it a clip show instead. THE OFFICE is already playing in synidcation enough that you don’t need a clip show guys and it’s just bad form.

Now that I’m done completely geeking out let’s see what’s up for this week’s viewing choices.

MONDAY

Sorry guys, having completely blown my deadline Monday is now history. I enjoyed watching CHUCK, HEROES (I know, even I’m shocked at that one) CASTLE and the return of GREEK on ABC FAMILY. I’m sure I would have said something very witty about all of them.

TUESDAY

ABC – 8:30 PM: TED hooks his brother up with a job at VERIDIAN in tonight’s ep of BETTER OFF TED, and I’m sure this won’t backfire on him at all.

FOX – 9:00 PM: GORDON RAMSEY starts to terrorize restaurants again with the season premiere of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight ABC offers us a LOST refresher with last season’s explosive (or not) finale. I’ve already re-watched it about 10 times and I bet I’ll STILL tune in tonight as well.

USA – 10:00 PM: WHITE COLLAR tries to bring tonight’s big case down to the little guy with a judge involved in mortgage fraud. I bet this one has some amazing action sequences.

WEDNESDAY

9:00 PM EASTERN / 5:00 PM PACIFIC: The STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS rocks the schedule tonight for most networks. Do a shot every time he says “health care”, “common” and “American”. If someone screams out “YOU LIE!” you get to chug a beer.

USA – 10:00 PM: PSYCH is back and gets RAW with guest star JOHN CENA (WWE jokes just aren’t my style, sorry).

A&E – 10:00 PM: STEVEN SEAGAL LAWMAN and his crew hook up with the narcotics division for a bust. I wonder how many tweakers are going to think that seeing SEAGAL bust in on them is just a bad trip hallucination?

THURSDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: JEFF PROBST takes a man battling Lou Gehrig’s disease on a bucket list world tour on LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.

FOX – 9:00 PM: Wedding guests suffocate from the inside out on tonight’s FRINGE. Maybe they were laughing too hard on the inside?

USA – 10:00 PM: MICHAEL goes all DATELINE tonight on BURN NOTICE when he has to catch a child predator. I wonder if he’ll replace SAM with CHRIS HANSEN to ask the guy, “Why don’t you have a seat over there?”

FRIDAY

THE CW8:00 PM: Self-referential hi-jinks ensue when all of the action on SMALLVILLE tonight happens at a big Comic-Con inspired convention.

FOX – 8:00 PM: I hope you took my warning to heart and made sure your DVR was set to record DOLLHOUSE at 8 PM instead of 9 PM.

SYFY – 8:00 PM: Miss last week’s premiere of CAPRICA? Here’s another chance for you to see it before the 9:00 airing of the second episode.

SATURDAY

DISC – 4:00 PM: Given most of what is available today I think an 8 hour MYTHBUSTERS marathon is completely in order.

USA – 6:00 PM: Get BOURNE again as USA airs THE BOURNE IDENTITY and THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM back-to-back. If you’ve never seen the films try not to be confused between the two as USA has decided to skip THE BOURNE SUPREMACY tonight.

TLC – 8:00 PM: One of the judges for THE 2010 MISS AMERICA PAGEANT is RUSH LIMBAUGH?!? Beauty being judged by the Beast?

SUNDAY

HBO – 7:00 PM: ROSIE O’DONNELL’s documentary A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY: A ROSIE O’DONNELL CELEBRATION shows us all of the love and joy that can come from nontraditional families. I’m sure the Westboro Baptist Church is protesting it somewhere.

CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s time for the GRAMMY AWARDS where TAYLOR SWIFT once again faces off against BEYONCE (as well as the BLACK EYED PEAS, LADY GAGA and the DAVE MATHEWS BAND) for Album of the Year. Can TAYLOR do it again?

ABC – 9:00 PM: JULIE BENZ goes from DEXTER‘s wife to a stripper on tonight’s DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES as SUSAN tries to help guide her to a new life.

NBC – 9:00 PM: The only thing really funny in most of the sketches you’ll see in SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PRESENTS: SPORTS ALL-STARS is the unintentionally comical bad acting done by most of these athletes.

Will Wilkins will return after this short commercial break.

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