FRED Entertainment

March 16, 2007

QSE News: 3/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:08 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpg It has been announced by Scholastic, Inc. that 12 million copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows will be printed in the book’s first run, breaking a printing record. While the books are sure to eventually sell, insiders think that this number is way too high, as there are only seven million registered pedophiles in the US.
  • Former gay cowboy and current serial killer hunter Jake Gyllenhaal is in talks to star in a big screen adaptation of DC Comics’s Shazam!. Producers hope to get Gyllenhaal on board as soon as possible, as filming is slated to begin in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.
  • Heather Mills has been asked by British police to refrain from calling the emergency services number unless there is a true emergency. Since Mills and Paul McCartney filed for divorce, Mills has been the subject of a paparazzi frenzy. Mills responded that “if I can’t call the police to come over and shoot the paparazzi or my ex-husband or to help me find my leg, just who in the hell am I supposed to call?”
  • TV personality Regis Philbin is recovering after having bypass surgery. The 75 year old talk show host has recently had chest pains and shortness of breath, which prompted the procedure. We here at QSE News would like to take a moment to recognize all of you who prayed for Philbin’s recovery. Look what you did”¦ jerks.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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March 15, 2007

Music For The Masses: 3/15/07

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:02 am
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Welcome, my friends, to another steamin’ pile of Music for the Masses. How the hell are ya’? Doing well, I hope. Of course, when people ask ME that question, I just say that I’m “hangin’ loose, full of juice and ready for use” because a) it’s true and b) I’m what some might call “a dude.” Now, if you’re not “a dude,” I would caution you against the use of this greeting. Trust me on this one”¦ it sounds creepy coming from a girl. Kind of implies you just got done with Kobe “The First 8 Inches Were Consensual” Bryant, slam dunked Shaq and are looking to complete the hat trick by having me toss my “hot dog” down your well-traveled hallway. Know what I’m saying? Like they say in those Verizon commercials”¦ “Can you hear me know? However, to keep it fair, ladies, I’m going to give you your own snappy greeting. So, next time somebody asks “how the hell you’re doing?,” fire back with something classy like “I’ve got it tucked tight, outta sight, so buy me more drinks if you want to see it tonight.” Shhh”¦ I know. You’re welcome.

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No”¦ the statute of limitations on “Kobe Jokes” is not “up.” Sorry.

But enough about all that, my friends, for we have a couple of choice selections to check out today. That’s right, our proverbial plate is piled high this week with a huge, tasty slice of ShitDisco and, thanks to Double A, a big-ass portion of Fratellis, ladled with love and a gentle hand. Oh yeah, and for dessert, J.D. serves up”¦well, not a goddamned thing. Thanks, J.D.!! So, in his place, I’m running a picture of J.D. in his “tight pants,” a picture of him having sex and a recipe for homemade bolgna. Sound like fun? Well, how’s about we find out?

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Artist: ShitDisco

Album: Kingdom of Fear

Sounds Like: A bunch of kids waving glow sticks while “trancing” to Franz Ferdinand.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever been in a band, but believe me when I tell you that, hands down, one of the most FRUSTRATING parts about being in “THE BAND” is naming the goddamned thing. Sure”¦it sounds easy, I know. But, inevitably, you’ll have one guy in the band, more than likely that damn drummer, who’s not on the same page as the rest of you and will torpedo ideas faster than you can bury Anna Nicole”¦umm, wait a minute. Scratch that one. Bad analogy. Whatever.

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What I’m trying to say is, naming a band is tough. And not for lack of trying. See, I’m the kind of guy that is continually thinking up band names, even during the most mundane of tasks, and believe me when I tell you that I’m giving these guys fucking gold on a daily basis. Don’t believe me? Allow me to illustrate. Just the other day, as I was getting serviced by a hook”¦I mean, my girlfriend”¦I thought it would be cool to name the band either “Jack MayOff and the Gentle Rubs,” “Knob Goblin” or “Sperm Burglar.” Later, as I was taking a shit and reading the latest issues of “Jumbo Jugs,” I thought to myself, “hey, self, how about we name the band ‘Turtlin’ or, even better, ‘Droppin’ Dueces?'” For fuck’s sake, people, I can even get solicited by the Special Olympics (thanks for the mailing labels, guys!!) and came up with smokin’ band names like “Special Ed and the High Fives,” “I’m With Stoopid,” “The Glee Club” and “Helmet Head and the Puddin’ Packs.” See? Like I said, solid fucking gold. Of course, my band won’t use any of these but $20 I just gave names to next year’s Grammy winners. “And the award for best new artist goes to”¦I’m so nervous”¦The Glee Club!!”

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That could have been me there in the back”¦ second from the left”¦ apparently with my thumbs up the asses of the guys in front.

But alas, that drumstick wielding bastard wants something that’s “family friendly,” “marketable” and “looks good on a marquis” and generally hates everything that I come up with. Go figure. Yeah, whatever pal. I have one word for you”¦ShitDisco.

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ShitDisco, attempting to “swirl” the world’s largest glow stick.

No, not as a name for our band. You see, ShitDisco is already the name of a band and they are the hottest thing to come out of Glasgow since Franz Ferdinand and, umm, single malt scotch which, I don’t care what anybody says, tastes like gasoline poured over charcoal. But I digress. ShitDisco also pretty much shoots my drummer’s naming notions right in the ass.

Darlings of the Glasgow house-party/rave scene, ShitDisco is a fun, little band that deftly combines their various influences (disco, punk, pop and funk ) into a cheeky, energetic and confident assortment of tunes. Their U.S. debut, Kingdom of Fear, which features the groups U.K. singles and a handful of new tracks, is packed with hook-heavy songs, vigorous and angular guitar riffs, disco-influenced drums and intriguing tempo shifts. If you are looking for an approximation of the sound here, think Franz Ferdinand meets The Talking Heads. Hey”¦fuck off”¦I said “approximation.” Jeez.

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The entertaining-to-annoying ratio on this disc definitely favors the entertaining, but be forewarned that the album looses steam as it goes. The one notable exception being the second-to-last track, the buzzing, Devo-esque “OK.” Other disc highlights include the U.K. quasi-hits “Disco Blood,” “Kung Fu,” “Reactor Party” and, for me at least, the bombastic, staccato attack of “72 Virgins.” Overall, I found this music kind of hard to wave a glow stick to while I was all hopped up on X, but it’s still a damn good time and if this is what those English and Scottish kids are “raving” to now, bully for them because this is some damn good shit.

But don’t take my word for it. Hop on over and check out a couple of ShitDisco’s better tracks at www.myspace.com/shitdisco. Now, if you’ll excuse me”¦I have to go practice with my band”¦The Bald Brittany’s.

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Yikes! It appears that Billy Corgan has REALLY let himself go.

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Let’s start with a little quiz, shall we?

The Fratellis are:

A) Double A’s favorite new rap group consisting of members of The Wu-Tang Clan and The Wiggles.

B) Some Scottish band who has been around for a few years but is finally making the jump to the States via an iPod commercial.

C) A damn fine pizza place in my home town.

D) A sexual maneuver requiring a tub of raw cookie dough, a slotted spoon, three “little people” and a bottle of 1000 Island Dressing.

If you said B you are correct. If you said C, you are half right (the pizza place is called Fratelli Brothers) and if you guessed A or D, you’ve been reading my diary and I’d appreciate it if you would stop. If you guessed E) The bad guys from the movie Goonies, you get 15 extra dork points.

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As I said, The Fratellis are a band from Scotland who originally released the album Costello Music in September of last year. The only problem with this release was that it was only available “across the pond,” as those uptight Brits like to call it. But then a funny thing happened. In January, those crazy kids at Apple decided to use the band’s song “Flathead” in their new iPod commercial. The song took off, as did the popularity of the band. Now, a scant six months after its initial release, Costello Music is finally available here in the states. And I gotta tell you, this is one of the finest albums I’ve picked up in a long time. Fo’ Shizzle.

The thing that makes this album so damn good is that it is full of energy. If you were to twist my arm, or promise me a box of cookies, I’d say that these guys sound a bit like the Artic Monkeys, but have even more of a frantic, “punk-esque” quality to them. Every song on this album is great and gets you moving, it doesn’t hurt that most of the songs also have great hooks in them, as evident in the first two singles “Flathead” and “Chelsea Dagger.” But the songs don’t rely on the hooks to be good, as some bands think they should.

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Costello Music is a damn fine album and I heartily recommend it to anyone who likes music. Unless you like country music. Or death metal. Or rap. Or blues. Ok, let me put this another way. If you like good, high tempo rock/punk music pick this album up. It is well worth the time and money spent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got a couple of “friends” coming over and I need to get the dressing to room temperature. Peace out.

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Reverb… with J.D.

Since J.D. is pulling a “Studio 60,” or, if you prefer, a “no-show” this week, I thought that I would “save his place” by posting a picture of a hot chick and J.D. wearing a pair of what I will call, for lack of a better term, his Lance “BassMaster’s””¦ because, they”¦ umm, look like jeans you’d wear when you’re “fishin’ for dudes””¦

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That’s it, J.D.!! Wiggle the worm!! WIGGLE the worm!!!

I also thought that it might be nice if you folks at home got a seldom-seen peek at J.D.’s “home life.” So, here’s a picture of J.D. and the “missus” playing a game of “Bury the Bone”¦”

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And, because you are OBVIOUSLY bored enough to have read this far, I thought you might enjoy a recipe for homemade bologna”¦

Homemade Bologna

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Description:

Beef bologna with a delightful garlic and smoke flavor

Yield: 2 rolls/3 lbs

Ingredients:

3 pounds ground chuck (80% lean)
3 Tablespoons Morton’s Tender Quick
1 Cup water
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1 1/2 teaspoons Liquid Smoke

Instructions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix well.

2. Roll into two logs. Wrap in plastic wrap and put in refrigerator for 24 hours.

3. Remove plastic wrap and place logs on greased pan. Bake for ½ hour at 300 degrees Fahrenheit and then 2 ½ hours at 200 degrees Fahrenheit.

4. Allow to cool; store in refrigerator. Slice with sharp knife to desired thickness. Serve with cheese and crackers, or on a sandwich.

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Preparation Time: 15 minutes

Cooking Time: 3 hours

TRY IT!!! IT’S J.D.elicious!!!!!

NEW MUSIC RELEASES”¦ 3/20/07

ARTIST

TITLE

GENRE

LCD SOUNDSYSTEM SOUND OF SILVER ALT
RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, THE DON’T YOU FAKE IT (DELUXE ED) ALT
CIRERA, DANIEL HONESTLY; I LOVE YOU *COUGH* ALT
FOREIGN ISLANDS RESTART NOW! ALT
PONYS, THE TURN THE LIGHTS OUT ALT
A NORTHERN CHORUS THE MILLIONS TOO MANY NOT LISTED
BEATLEJAZZ ALL YOU NEED NOT LISTED
BENEA REACH MONUMENT BINEOTHAN NOT LISTED
CALLAHAN, BILL DIAMOND DANCER NOT LISTED
CASTING CROWNS CASTING CROWNS NOT LISTED
CYANN & BEN SWEET BELIEFS NOT LISTED
DENVER GENTLEMEN INTRODUCING THE DENVER GENTLEM NOT LISTED
DISTANCE MY DEMONS NOT LISTED
DJ T. BODY LANGUAGE VOL. 2 NOT LISTED
EARTH HIBERNACULUM NOT LISTED
EATS TAPES DOS MUTANTES NOT LISTED
ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA BALANCE OF POWER NOT LISTED
EL-P I’LL SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD NOT LISTED
EVERYDAY PROCESS EVERYDAY PROCESS NOT LISTED
EVIDENCE THE WEATHERMAN LP NOT LISTED
FANE, JULIAN OUR NEW QUARTERS NOT LISTED
FUNERAL FROM THESE WOUNDS NOT LISTED
GOMEZ, ROBERT BRAND NEW TOWNS NOT LISTED
GOOD SHOES THE PHOTOS ON MY WALL NOT LISTED
HUBBARD, FREDDIE SUPER BLUE NOT LISTED
I’M FROM BARCELONA LET ME INTRODUCE MY FRIENDS NOT LISTED
IN THIS MOMENT BEAUTIFUL TRAGEDY NOT LISTED
INFIDEL I, OATHBREAKER NOT LISTED
INNOCENCE MISSION WE WALKED IN SONG NOT LISTED
INTELLIGENT HOODLUM SAGA OF A HOODLUM NOT LISTED
J DILLA RUFF DRAFT (2XCD) NOT LISTED
JONES, CHELONIS R. DISLOCATED GENIUS NOT LISTED
KARIZMA A MIND OF IT’S OWN NOT LISTED
KEMP, ROSE A HAND FULL OF HURRICANES NOT LISTED
KING BRITT DEEP AND SEXY 4 NOT LISTED
KING KONG BUNCHA BEANS NOT LISTED
KLUGH, EARL ULTIMATE EARL KLUGH NOT LISTED
LAWS, HUBERT AFRO-CLASSIC NOT LISTED
LIV KRISTINE DEUS EX MACHINA NOT LISTED
LOST EDEN CYCLE REPEATS NOT LISTED
LUSINE PODGELISM NOT LISTED
MASON, WILLY IF THE OCEAN GETS ROUGH NOT LISTED
MASTERPLAN MKII NOT LISTED
MODEST MOUSE WE WERE DEAD BEFORE THE SHIP EVEN SANK NOT LISTED
MYSTIC CIRCLE THE BLOODY PATH OF GOD NOT LISTED
NAILED A PURE WORLD IS A DEAD WORLD NOT LISTED
ONSLAUGHT KILLING PEACE NOT LISTED
PANDA BEAR PERSON PITCH NOT LISTED
PANTALEIMON CLOUDBURST NOT LISTED
RADICAL FACE GHOST NOT LISTED
RED KRAYOLA SOLDIER TALK NOT LISTED
RTX WESTERN XTERMINATOR NOT LISTED
SAPAT MORTISE AND TENON NOT LISTED
SIRENIA NINE DESTINIES AND A DOWNFALL NOT LISTED
SJ ESAU WRONG FACED CAT FEED COLLAPSE NOT LISTED
SWALLOW THE SUN HOPE NOT LISTED
TAYO FABRICLIVE 32 NOT LISTED
TEAM EMBASSADOR SYSTEM OVERLOAD NOT LISTED
TEST SWITCH ISOLATOR LET’S DANCE NOT LISTED
THORN, TRACEY OUT OF THE WOODS NOT LISTED
WEISS, MARY DANGEROUS GAME NOT LISTED
WELCOME SIRS NOT LISTED
ZODIACS GONE NOT LISTED
STONE, JOSS INTRODUCING JOSS STONE POP
BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE STRICTLY RUDE ROCK
BUTLER TRIO, JOHN Grand National ROCK
DAATH The Hinderers ROCK
DRAWING VOICES DRAWING VOICES ROCK
ELECTRA, JUSTINE SOFT ROCK ROCK
ELLIOT YAMIN Elliott Yamin ROCK
HAIL SOCIAL MODERN LOVE & DEATH ROCK
HASTE THE DAY PRESSURE THE HINGES ROCK
Hot Rod Circuit The Underground is a Dying Breed ROCK
JESSE MALIN GLITTER IN THE GUTTER ROCK
JOY ELECTRIC OTHERLY OPUS, THE ROCK
KARLZEN, MARY THE WANDERLUST DIARIES ROCK
LAND OF TALK APPLAUSE CHEER BOO HISS ROCK
LEO, TED AND THE PHARMACISTS LIVING WITH THE LIVING ROCK
LOCUST, THE NEW ERECTIONS ROCK
LOW DRUMS AND GUNS ROCK
MCCARTHY TRENCHING MCCARTHY TRENCHING ROCK
OTHER MEN WAKE UP SWIMMING ROCK
PIERCES, THE THIRTEEN TALES OF LOVE AND REV ROCK
The Snake, The Cross, The Crown Cotton Teeth ROCK
THE TOSSERS Agony ROCK
WIESE, JOHN SOFT PUNK ROCK
WILLOWZ CHAUTAUQUA ROCK
ZINCS, THE BLACK POMPADOUR ROCK
Friends Of Rock-n-Roll, The The Friends Of Rock-n-Roll POP
LOST IN THE TREES Time Taunts Me POP
MAN OF SORROWS Man of Sorrows POP
POISON ARROWS Straight Into The Drift POP
STERLING Cursed POP
VANDEEVER Grace & Speed POP

Well, there you have it, my friends. Sorry for the “shortie,” but please be sure to tune in next week as we check in with the latest from Modest Mouse amongst other things. So, until next week, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!!

Send your Amish Bologna recipes, review copies, assorted hate mail and sundry presents to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

“Oooooh”¦ Shiny.”: An Open Letter to Aaron Sorkin

Filed under: Columns,Oooooh Shiny — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:19 am
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An Open Letter to Aaron Sorkin:

Dear Aaron –

shiny-01.jpgI know it’s probably too late to save Studio 60.

Aaron, man, that show had potential. I Netflixed the pilot weeks before the fall season began and I thought it was a great pilot with lots of potential. But, as a wise professor once lectured to me in a college sociological linguistics course; “when someone tells you that you got a lot of potential, they’re basically telling you that you got a whole lot of nothing.” The professor paused for emphasis, as he would after saying something important (almost as if to say WRITE THIS DOWN, YOU IDIOTS), then he repeated “You got a whole lot of nothing.” Well, Aaron, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip turned its potential into a whole lot of nothing.

“Buy the premise, buy the bit.” You quoted the maxim – or actually, you misquoted it in one of your episodes. According to your newly arrived, temporary supervising writer, “buy the premise, buy the bit” means that you have to establish the premise early in the sketch. That’s not really it. You do have to establish it, but it’s more than that. You have to believe it. You have to BUY IN to the premise. You gotta believe that there is a world in which these truths you establish really are true.

I’m sorry, Aaron – you’re a great writer and I’m a fan. Loved West Wing. Loved Sports Night. Loved The American President, but I’m afraid there are a bunch of premises in your show that I don’t buy.

PREMISE # 1: The main female cast member of Studio 60 can’t tell a joke.

That premise made sense in My Favorite Year, when the character in question was an assistant, but when the character’s stock in trade is comedy, I think that even if she’s not known for telling jokes, I think she would be able to memorize a joke and repeat it. Not only does this premise bother me, but Aaron, buddy – did you think people wouldn’t realize that Matt used the exact same joke that was used in My Favorite Year to illustrate the point? I know. I know. It was an homage. Right.

PREMISE # 2: Jordan McDeere, the Network President spends most of her time worrying about one late night program.

Maybe if she allowed her VP of Late Night (if she had one) to hang out at Studio 60, she would have kept a closer eye on the Dracula tentpole miniseries that apparently self-destructed. Ever since she got pregnant, she has spent more time eating than programming, and unless she’s planning to outbid NBC for the next cycle of The Biggest Loser, the NBS schedule is doomed to failure.

PREMISE #3: The NBS network seems to have miraculously held out from airing reality shows. They didn’t even have a head of alternative programming until very recently.

I guess that makes sense considering there seems to be an overall shortage of Vice Presidents (unless their late night VP went out for a lunch meeting and was kidnapped by Judd Hirsch’s character and is now being held hostage).

PREMISE #4: Matt Albie and Danny Tripp are either so insensitive or stupid that they schedule a sketch about taking hostages while an actual hostage siege is underway.

Despite the utterance of “there is no way this ends well,” neither Matt or Danny thought the real world crisis should prevent them from running the sketch – until, of course, people were killed. In any real life situation, a good producer would have kept the sketch on hold until the outcome of the real crisis was decided.

PREMISE #5: We are supposed to believe that middle aged people from any place in the United States have never heard of Abbott and Costello and their classic “Who’s on First?” sketch.

I understand that you needed to make this happen for the story, Aaron, but I don’t personally buy it. Sure, I’m one of those New Yorkers who watched Abbott and Costello movies every Sunday morning (after Wonderama, or course), but I’m sure mid-westerners had access to Bud and Lou, too. I mean, they started doing the routine in 1938 and it’s been performed and parodied ever since in all media known to man – and a few that aren’t.

PREMISE #6: Apparently, when a show needs help, you just add a blonde.

It might have worked with Melrose Place, but on Studio 60 it didn’t really make an impact. By my count, three blonde women were added to the cast on three different occasions (the English writer Lucy, the alternative programming chief Hallie Gallaway and most recently, the attorney defending the show in a sexual harassment case). Come to think of it, blondes were also added during the run of The West Wing (Emily Procter, Mary McCormack and Kristin Chenoweth). Now, I have nothing against blondes, but next time, to be fair, why not try throwing a brunette or a redhead at the problem? If it doesn’t work, you can always have them dye their hair.

PREMISE #7: Studio 60, the show within the show, is a funny show.>

This may be the toughest premise to buy – and sadly, one of the more crucial. Here is the problem: the show isn’t that funny. In all of the sketches that we’ve seen, I laughed a grand total of… once (it was the “Dateline Santa Claus” predator sketch, in case you’re wondering). It’s all about cause and effect. If the show isn’t funny, and the show isn’t doing well, then it makes sense, but Studio 60 is supposed to be doing fairly well in the ratings. With that show? I don’t think so. By the way, the show’s apparent success is also one of the main problems of the series – the entire series’ story arc was resolved in a couple of episodes. Episode 1 – Studio 60 the sketch show is in trouble after Judd Hirsch rants on air. Matt and Danny are hired to fix the show. Episode 2 – They fix the show and ratings are strong. Huh? Wouldn’t it have been more interesting for it to have taken… oh, I don’t know… FIVE YEARS to get the show back to its ratings glory? Each year should be a struggle to get renewal from NBS, but we never really heard the word “Cancellation” bandied about the studio.

PREMISE #8: It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one guy to write a sketch comedy show.

Early on, it is made clear that Matt Albee writes almost the entire show by himself. Now, I went to the WGA Awards a few weeks ago and watched as no fewer than 25 writers from Saturday Night Live walked up to the stage and accepted their awards. If only Matt Albee was the sole writer of SNL, the Guild would have saved a buttload of cash on award statuettes. Even if we make the leap that Matt writes the show himself, (I guess it’s not that much of a leap considering how lousy the show is), it’s hard to then make a big deal about the writing staff leaving. Yup, that’s right, only a few episodes after Matt makes it clear that he doesn’t need Ricky, Ron or the other writers, he makes a big deal when the writing staff quits. Aaron, it’s hard to have a story point like this mean anything without conflict. Conflict would have been: “I really need these writers. I can’t do without these writers. Oh no! The writers just quit.” It doesn’t really work in this situation: “I don’t need these writers. I write the whole show. Oh No. The writers just quit. Ummm.. So what?”

PREMISE #9: These people have never heard of a rerun.

Okay, I get it. We’re supposed to be worried that several members of the cast are stranded in Nevada with guest star John Goodman. “Oh no! We have a live show in 12 hours!! What’s going to happen???!!!!” If I was the head of NBS late night programming (if they had one), I would have handled that situation like this. “Hello, Danny? Put on a Best of Studio 60 tonight – how about that classic episode from the 80’s with guest host Gary Coleman? That was a really funny one!”

You will notice that for someone with so many issues about this show, I seem to know a lot about it. I never miss it. My wife and I find ourselves yelling at the screen, but we never miss an episode. I guess that’s what matters. Perhaps, the grand irony, Mr. Sorkin, is that if you ever do fix all of the problems with Studio 60, I probably would not watch it as religiously. Now, it’s the show I love to hate. If you fixed it, it might become a show I hate to love.

It is appointment television – I grant you that. However, I also make appointments to go to the dentist – and right now, the dentist makes a lot more sense and doesn’t walk and talk a 360 around the studio for no apparent reason.

What exactly went wrong? I don’t know, but sometimes I feel like I would like to move to the fantasy world in which Studio 60 is meant to take place. I assume that in this world, Matt Santos is happily serving as President of the United States, with his Chief of Staff Josh Lyman at his side. Meanwhile, Josh’s doppelganger, Danny Tripp, is running the venerable Studio 60 television program, a show that has managed to become legendary – no mean feat considering that its sketches are not funny, its running characters barely even limp and two of its female cast members never seem to say a word. In this world, if Studio 60 is a big hit, just imagine what I could do!!

QSE News: 3/15/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:13 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • While R. Kelly is getting ready to release his next album, Double Up, he is offering fans a chance to get an early listen by calling a number set up to preview some of the new songs. When callers dial the number they will be greeted by a prompt that asks them to press one for new songs and press two if they’d like R. Kelly to come to their house and pee on them.
  • Actress Tori Spelling gave birth to a baby boy on Tuesday.  Both mother and baby, which weighed in at 6 pounds, 6 ounces, are said to be doing well.  The birth itself went off without a complication, except for when the baby burst through Spelling’s stomach and attacked the hospital staff.
  • Part-time actress and full-time hottie, Angelina Jolie, has apparently adopted another child, bringing her total number of children to four.  When asked why she was adopting the three-year old Vietnamese boy, Jolie responded that she had just purchased “a really nice rug and some drapes and the other children just don’t go with it.”
  • Michael Lohan, the estranged father of actress/alcoholic Lindsay Lohan, has been released from a Buffalo prison after serving almost two years for attempted assault and driving while intoxicated.  Lohan says that he has changed his ways and hopes to reconcile with his daughter.  “I have a lot to teach her,” said Lohan. “Like what not to do to attract the cops attention while she’s driving home drunk.  I think I can really help her there.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/15/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:08 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A little bit from the great W.C. Fields… (Thingamabob)
  • Spinal Tap’s “Listen To The Flower People”… (Thingamabob)
  • Disney’s Pinnochio, scene by scene… (Thingamabob)
  • Belushi, Chase, Hendra, & Guest – a little bit from National Lampoon’s Woodstock evisceration, Lemmings(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 14, 2007

QSE News: 3/14/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:47 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Entertainment giant Viacom, parent company to MTV and Comedy Central among others, is suing YouTube for $1 billion in damages for allowing its users to post Viacom copyrighted material on its website. Viacom CEO Philippe P. Dauman made the demands from his secret headquarters located on the moon.
  • The original lineup of REM reunited for the band’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame while only two former members of Van Halen showed up for the event. Former singer and former bass player Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony, respectively, attended the ceremony despite being kicked out of the band. Eddie said later that he had intended on making the ceremony but his medical alert bracelet wasn’t working.
  • Sylvester Stallone is in trouble for trying to import illegal substances into Australia. Stallone and his crew were stopped in the Sydney airport under suspicion of possessing a banned human growth hormone. Stallone maintains that he needed the hormone to prepare himself for an upcoming fight with “a gigantic Russian guy.”
  • Hoping to capitalize on the success of religious movies like The Passion of the Christ, Hyde Park Entertainment has announced that they will produce a film about the first Easter.  The movie, which is slated to begin filming shortly, will stick closely to the story in the Bible except for the part where Jesus rises from the dead only to discover that he has 24 hours to stop a giant bunny who’s hiding explosive eggs around Los Angeles.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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March 13, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/14/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Tracy Morgan, you are my favorite crazy-ass Jedi mofo.. (Thingamabob)
  • The honest-to-goodnes Russian adaptation of Winnie the Pooh… (Thingamabob)
  • Oh, you can’t have enough Tracy… Here he is on SNL with his 30 Rock co-stars Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey… (Thingamabob)
  • Fozzie & Rowlf, back in the good ol’ days… (Thingamabob)
  • And finally, a recipe for choclate moose… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

March 12, 2007

QSE News: 3/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Rapper Snoop Dogg was held by police in Sweden for suspicion of illegal drug use. Dogg was in Sweden to attend a party where organizers hoped to get all attendees high simply by standing in the vicinity of Dogg.
  • The band Snow Patrol will have its song “Signal Fire” appear in the upcoming Spider-Man 3 film. The song was chosen after Director Sam Raimi realized that Limp Bizkit is no longer available to record new material for the film.
  • In a sad bit of news, classic rocker Brad Delp was found dead in his home on Friday.  It appears that the rocker, who was in the band Boston, had “More Than A Feeling” in his chest and took a “Long Time” to call 911.
  • Comedian Richard Jeni is dead after an apparent suicide.  Jeni’s girlfriend found the comedian/actor gravely wounded with a gunshot wound to the face. So, if you were never a fan, skipped his numerous appearances on The Tonight Show, avoided his award-winning and highly acclaimed televised stand up routines or simply dismissed him as unfunny… we hope you’re happy now.
  • The Beau Monde center, a luxury rehab clinic in Los Angeles, is suing troubled singer Courtney Love for failure to pay her rehab bill.  Officials close to Love insist that the matter is being taken care of and the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.  According to sources, Love was too strung out on coke to realize that she needed to pay the bill for her successful rehab.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:52 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Today, let’s check out a few classic Drew Carey Show musical numbers – starting with their take on The Ventures’ “Five O’Clock World”… (Thingamabob)
  • And their take on How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying‘s “Brotherhood of Man”… (Thingamabob)
  • “The Time Warp” vs. “Shake Your Groove Thing”… (Thingamabob)
  • And let’s wrap things up with the great Chuck McCann as Sonny – who’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

Preachin’ From The Longbox: Juss Don’t Believe The Hype

Filed under: Columns,Preaching from the Longbox — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:05 am
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This week’s sermon – “Juss Don’t Believe The Hype”

March 12, 2007

For those of you who fell into a light coma, and have finally woken up, the “shocking” epilogue of Marvel’s Civil War, Captain America #25, was released this past Wednesday.

Why is the significance of that issue, you ask? Other than the issue hitting the quarter-century mark, I mean, really doesn’t every issue hit that supposed milestone? (Well not the criminally shit-canned The Thing). Well, since you’ve lived this long without hearing about the news and normally, this would be considered a spoiler in some circles, I’ll let you avert your eyes and quickly click on some other link here at the Quick Stop.

(Twiddles thumbs”¦)

I hear that the recent “SModcast” podcast and “Game On” vidcast are quite good.

(Looks at watch”¦)

Alrightey then, time’s up.

For those of you strong enough to stick around, the driving force behind Cap #25 is that:

Captain America #25

Cap gets CAPPED!

Yup, he’s dead as a door nail – or, to use a more current comparison, as dead as Sanjaya’s chances for winning Idol. But don’t worry; he’ll get some work in the entertainment industry as El DeBarge in next year’s biopic, Gang Wars: DeBarge versus The Jets. Jennifer Hudson has shown the way – Hallelujah!

Again, this latest revelation by Marvel is no big deal. Steve Rogers has been removed from the comic book scene more once in his storied continuity; most recently during the whole Heroes Reborn mess. (Although, he was really just put in a marble courtesy of Franklin Richards but that’s just semantics and bad plotting but let’s continue).

There are bits of news coverage out there from the New York Daily News to the L.A. Times to Newsweek to the Colbert Report talking about the death and that’s well and good. I don’t see a problem with any comic company getting some good, juicy, tabloid-style press. With all of the other entertainment options other there right now, comics needs all of the help that it can get.

However, my beef with this whole Captain America slaying thing isn’t the amount of press for Cap’s assassination. It’s something else which usually comes along with the hype that is completely familiar and horrifying at the same time. Let me illustrate:

A certain iconic superhero died and it was hyped up in the news like it was a real death. It was plastered all over the place and you couldn’t escape people commenting about it for days. The “death” issue, with a variant cover, was sold out completely and the comic book publisher started to ship out second and third printings (with a different cover) to keep up with the demand.

Comic shops were jacking up cover prices on that death issue as well as all of those back issues that contained any part of this storyline just as lapsing readers as well as non-comic book readers were driving in droves to buy these “special” comics; earmarking them as investments for their children.

Then, after a few weeks, the buzz started to wane and the comic book publisher started a new all-encompassing story arc in a way to keep the attention going. After awhile, the buying masses started to see through the marketing ploy and the comics industry was looking at a real crisis ““ a failing business strategy where their readership was dwindling.

That was, as you have probably guessed, the Death of Superman. The year was 1993, otherwise known as the beginning of the Decline of Western Comic Book Readership.

Let’s cut to today. Comics survived the speculator nose dive and have built themselves back into a relatively thriving business with more Cons and bankable theatrical blockbusters left and right (Nic Cage’s Elvis-talking his way thought Ghost Rider was the latest in that trend). Also, their recent multi-title story arcs, Infinite Crisis and Civil War, were, for the most parts, hits.

So, the people running the four-color “show” for the Big Two, so to speak, have gotten decidedly a little cocky. So, what is the first thing that they do with their newfound ignorance? Shocker; they forget their history and repeat 1993 all over again.

Here are some telling excerpts from what I’ve read so far in some of the various published reports:

ICv2 News ““ “One important issue is whether Marvel is able to get enough copies into the market to dampen speculation. If the news becomes ‘look what this comic from last week/month is worth’ instead of ‘look at this cool storyline in Marvel comics,’ look out.” (PftL – Here, here. Well said.)

New York Daily News – “‘I was shocked. I was not expecting it,’ said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. ‘I’d rather they didn’t kill him – but it’s going to mean great sales.'” (PftL – Oy vey. Déjà vu, anyone?)

In case you were wondering, Mr. Gladston was not joking. Chop Socky - Chris Simon

The secondary market for this issue is seeing some very questionable on-line retailers marking the issue up by almost 650% over the cover price while eBay, the arbiter of gauging at its finest, has more than one auction with the two covers for a starting bid of $2000. Two large for an overprinted comic book that will be collected in six months and retconned within a year? Are you kidding me? Am I the only one getting sick from a case of the (Re)runs?

Ya know, the first thing that comes around a rotting corpse is a vulture and the equivalent of this nasty animal in the comics industry is speculators. They are a group of people most foul. Not to get too pious (yeah right) but these profiteers not only reduce comics into a poor man’s form of day trading but they also take away the essence of comics and turn it from a intimate medium to tell a story into a sterile, slabbed commodity. This practice makes me so sick I feel like Simonizing someone.

I’m sure that the “Cap Death” and subsequent “Fallen Soldier” story arcs will be finely told tales and people will buy them en masse. I’m just worried what will happen to the comics industry after all of the buzz has died once again and the shop owners are left with millions of funny books and mounting issues of their own.

-britt

Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Zodiac

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions,Reviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:49 am
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David Fincher’s Zodiac (from a script by James Vanderbilt adapted from Robert Graysmith’s intimate true life account) begins on the fourth of July in 1969 at the height of the hippie era. As fireworks explode over the bay, a young woman namded Darlene Ferrin (Ciara Hughes ) cruises along a packed suburban street, pulling up at a nondescript house. She invites a youth named Michael Mageau (Lee Norris) into her car and the pair drive off to eat. But the drive in being full up, she quickly changes her mind, and they end up at the Blue Rock Springs Golf Course, where there is a lover’s lane.

Zodiac Matt

The youth is callow and awkward, and doesn’t seem to be aware that Darlene is seeking sex, or at least a make out session. Their banter is interrupted by the ominous growl of a car, one that hovers nearby and then pulls away. Darlene seems to know the driver. But she won’t admit as much to Mageau. Then the car comes back quickly. The driver gets out, comes over to the passenger’s side, and opens fire on the occupants.

Though on the surface rather routine sounding, this is a very interesting scene and it is an interesting way to open a film about the notorious and uncaught serial killer, America’s Jack the Ripper. For one thing, this wasn’t the Zodiac killer’s first attack. Fincher could just as easily have started off his film with the Lake Herman Road double murder the previous December, as does Alexander Bulkley in his 2005 knock off film The Zodiac, with Justin Chambers and Robin Tunney, which also shows the impact of the Zodiac’s crimes on those who hunted him.

Zodiac death

In fact, there are numerous coincidences between the two films. Both star Philip Baker Hall, as a police chief in The Zodiac and as a handwriting expert in Zodiac. Both films shoot mostly in the case’s actual locations. Both are about how obsession destroys the good, and both feature similar dialogue in the Zodiac’s third attack, in broad daylight at Lake Berryessa in September 1969, where the Zodiac wore a scary black hood.

One significant difference is that Fincher and his collaborators extend a great deal of attention on the personalities of the victims, communicating quite a bit about them in a short screen time. Which brings us back to the opening scene. As an aggressive, sexual creature, Darlene is an unusual figure in Fincher’s movies – but not his videos (has anyone else noticed her similarity to Madonna?). She is also a person whose past, her recent past, catches up with her quickly, as we learn near the end of the movie when the Zodiac’s connection with Darlene is revealed (here is a long footnote: it’s been a long time since I’ve read Graysmith’s book and its sequel, but is it possible that there was no actual Zodiac, that the reason the cases are so different from each other is that they were in fact acts of passion committed by different people? The only thing I remember really tying Zodiac to one of the crimes was the fact that he clipped off parts of a cabbie’s blood stained shirt. Is it possible that Zodiac was s a cop, writing the letters and posing as the killer in order to make some kind of point or toy with his co-workers? Also, as Robert Downey, Jr.’s character says in the movie, the Zodiac was a liar, taking credit for things he couldn’t have done; but again, I haven’t kept up with the book, and the suspect that Graysmith came up with is probably really the guy).

Zodiac Bob

Fincher probably remembers aspects of the real case from his childhood, but he doesn’t seem necessarily interested in the case as a nostalgic tour. Instead, it is another exercise in failed mentorship, a theme that appears in most of his films. Cartoonist Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) is as young and callow as the film’s first victim, but he is already divorced and is a single father. He goes through one mentor who fails him, Downey’s Paul Avery, the Chronicle reporter who covered the case, and then another, Mark Ruffalo’s Inspector David Toschi (the real life cop who inspired Bullitt). Graysmith, who in the film has the enthusiasm of a boy scout and is thus referred to by others (though he says he was an Eagle Scout, and he acts with the pushy enthusiasm of Robert Cummings’s character in Dial M for Murder), cracks the case, but, as with the others, at great cost, in his case at the expense of his marriage.

Zodiac road

Harry Savides’s camerawork throughout the film is remarkable (but I assume that Fincher is the type of director who collaborates with a DP closely). It doesn’t just honor films from the ’70s – it is one. And several of the shots will go down in film history, such as the overhead shot of a cab going through San Francisco, with the camera moving above in sync as if the car were the planchette on a Ouija Board.

In fact, this is a movie “about” cars. They figure in almost every scene. They are the setting of almost every murder. Many of the film’s character building moments occur in cars, at least with Toschi.

Zodiac Jake

Some film buffs have raised the question of whether the film, in its final moments, backs off from the “knowability” of the Zodiac’s final identity, even though in the real world Graysmith is convinced of it. There is a small measure of ambiguity in the film’s final images. But Zodiac isn’t like a Friedkin movie, such as French Connection or Cruising, in which the director strives for a larger epistemological strata. Zodiac does create ambiguity by having different people “play” the Zodiac. A different person from the prime suspect voices the Zodiac at the Lake Berryessa killing. Another puzzling image connected with this sequence is this: who is the guy sitting in his pick up truck obviously in mental anguish? He doesn’t look like the guy who later turns out to be the prime suspect.

Zodiac Chloe

No, the real mystery in the film is Graysmith’s motivation. “Bob, you look disappointed,” Avery says at Graysmith’s reaction to another dead end clue. What is the source of Graysmith’s immediate and almost visceral attraction to the case? The film is officially mute on the subject, although there is the odd, stray dialogue on the subject, such as when Graysmith is talking to his wife (played by the great Chloe Sevigny, who, with her long hair and bookish glasses embodies just the type of girl everyone got a crush on back in the ’70s).

Zodiac zero

In this film, Fincher is a master of transitions, be it the sound of traffic that leaps years, or the subtle placement of movie posters (one of them for Edward G. Robinson’s Warner film Illegal) in Graysmith’s apartment just before he encounters one Bob Vaughn, a silent movie theater employee who might be able to give him a lead. Movies permeate the film. Zodiac himself is a movie buff and there were numerous movie references in his letters. Fincher even honors Val Lewton with a “bus,” the sudden appearance of Vaughn sliding into view in a mirror. And it turns out, which is something I didn’t know and couldn’t even guess at, that the Zodiac symbol might have come from the countdown leader on a film strip. In its weird, perverse way, Zodiac is testimony to he embedded influence of movies and moviemakers on our lives.

QSE News: 3/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:32 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • The scantily clad Spartan film 300 was number one at the box office this weekend after grossing more than $70 million. In addition to setting a March opening-day box-office record, the film also succeeded in confusing the sexual identity of more than two million adolescent males.
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal has been selected to replace Katie Holmes as the character Rachel Dawes in next Batman film. Gyllenhaal’s co-stars in the film are said to be excited by the opportunity to work with an actress whose husband isn’t keeping her locked in a basement.
  • It appears the real reason the Van Halen reunion tour was called off is because Eddie Van Halen is entering rehab for undisclosed reasons. This announcement may go down as the biggest shock in music news history. And by biggest, we mean totally expected.
  • France is getting set to release a set of stamps showcasing the characters of the Harry Potter book and film series.  French officials are insisting that the stamps are an honor and not merely a roundabout way of licking Harry and his friends’ backside. And by backside we mean butt.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:26 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • How To Succeed In Film Festivals… Wihout Really Trying… (Thingamabob)
  • I may be American, but I can’t tell you how giddy I am that my favorite MP of all, Boris Johnson, has a website… The man is like a human Muppet… (Thingamabob)
  • Don’t believe me? Check him out in this segment from one of his guest-hosting stints on Have I Got News For You(Thingamabob)
  • Ren Faires and monster trucking – a match made in heaven… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

March 9, 2007

Comics in Context #168: O Captain! My Captain!

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 4:17 am
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cic2007-03-09-01.jpgSo I woke up on Wednesday, March 7, and I saw that in addition to Tuesday’s Arctic temperatures, so low that weathermen warned that if you expose any bare flesh outside, you risked getting frostbite, that the sidewalks were buried in snow, and it was still falling. I again thought how lucky the New York Comic-Con organizers were that this didn’t happen during the weekend of the con. I wondered if I’d have trouble getting to a concert in Manhattan that night. Well, I thought, probably nothing worse would happen today.

And then I turned on my computer and learned that Captain America was dead.

The New York Daily News had just broken the story that morning, and not even The Beat or The Comics Reporter had it yet, but there are already pages of outraged posts at the John Byrne Forum, and it had been reported by CNN, among many other mainstream media outlets. Cap was apparently assassinated by a sniper in Captain America #25, which went on sale that very day (March 7).

Now I realize that this could be some elaborate fake-out. The mainstream media, unaware of how death in the superhero genre usually resembles a revolving door, fell hard for DC’s “Death of Superman” over a decade ago, and, of course, DC was not about to keep this iconic character dead.

Just as DC came up with four substitute Supermen to hold the fort until the real Superman returned, there will doubtless be one or more “new” Captain Americas. As Ron Hogan points out over at Galley Cat, this isn’t the first time Marvel has done that, and I can supply the details. Stan Lee (who wrote Cap longer than anyone else has) did it briefly in Tales of Suspense #96 in the 1960s; Steve Englehart had a kid named Roscoe take over as Captain America in the 1970s, and Mark Gruenwald had the “Super-Patriot” (now known as the U. S. Agent) become the new Cap in the 1980s. We’re overdue for another “new Cap” storyline. The difference is that each time in the past, Steve Rogers, the original Captain America, retired voluntarily from his costumed role before inevitably reassuming it later in the storyline.

Significantly, according to the Daily News, “Joe Quesada, 43, Marvel Entertainment’s editor in chief, said he wouldn’t rule out the shield-throwing champion’s eventual return.” In The New York Times (March 8, 2007) George Gene Gustines quotes Marvel publisher Dan Buckley saying about Cap, “He’s very dead right now.” Gustines also quotes some fans who don’t believe that the Captain is dead and terms their reactions “cynical,” but considering these statements from Marvel execs, isn’t their cynicism justified?

It turns out that in another comic currently on sale, Civil War: The Initiative #1, Ms. Marvel claims that Captain America is still alive. An official Marvel statement suggests that she may be mistaken or lying. Or is this an editorial mistake that lets the proverbial cat out of the bag?

On the other hand, ever since the demise of the Silver Age Flash in Crisis on Infinite Earths, readers have been all too aware that the Big Two superhero companies are perfectly willing to kill off superheroes for real and put some new character in as a permanent replacement. (Now it seems that the Silver Age Flash may finally return, but it took over twenty years!)

All of the previous “substitute Cap” stories have had the theme that Steve Rogers is irreplaceable as the true Captain America. My guess is that Marvel will indeed bring Rogers back as Cap. But I hope this isn’t just wishful thinking on my part. Gustines quotes another fan as saying “I’m fairly sure killing Cap with a movie in development (plus a possible Avengers flick on the way as well) would not be very sensible. So, I shall wait and see,” and praises him as “media-savvy.” And do we know for a fact that the Captain America in these movies is the original version from the 1940s?

The aforementioned Marvel official statement declares that “Captain America will continue to be published despite the very real death of Steve Rogers,” and concludes, “So, yes, Captain America, Steve Rogers, is dead.” Considering the miracles that are possible in the superhero genre, Rogers could still be truly “dead” and come back to life. But here Marvel seems to be hinting that they will create a new Captain America, one that they consider more relevant to the 21st century. It’s possible that Marvel might someday resurrect Rogers but not allow him to take back the role of Captain America from this newcomer.

The end of Civil War, in which Captain America decides he is wrong for fighting for the freedom of his fellow superheroes, and an already infamous Civil War: Frontline sequence in which a woman self-righteously denounces the Captain for knowing nothing about America since he doesn’t waste time on YouTube (Say what? I would think Cap keeps himself rather busy continually saving the lives of this woman and other Americans over the course of his career. This woman’s attitude smacks of ageism. This suggests that 21st century Marvel regards the original Captain as a dated character. “”˜He hasn’t been living in the modern world and the world does move,” says Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada.” in the CNN report.

And here I think of Captain America as representing American ideals, which have endured for over two hundred years, just as I believe Lee, Englehart, and Gruenwald did. Just reading the better Captain America stories from the last four decades, such as theirs, demonstrates how the character consistently adapts to changing times. I’d feel better if CNN and the Daily News had quoted Marvel representatives as extolling the greatness of the original Captain America rather than seeing Marvel, in and out of the stories, badmouthing the character as irrelevant to 21st century America.

If Marvel was intent on killing off Captain America, why couldn’t the company have given him a heroic demise, like the one that Stan Lee and John Romita, Sr. gave Captain George Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man #90 (1970) or the one that Chris Claremont and John Byrne gave Phoenix in Uncanny X-Men #137 (1980). Even Mar-Vell’s demise from cancer in Jim Starlin’s The Death of Captain Marvel (1982) showed more courage and dignity than the ignominious killing of Captain America, arrested and handcuffed as a criminal for his role in Civil War.

Here are some quotations from the Daily News and CNN reports that struck me as telling.

“”˜What happens with the costume? And what happens to the characters that are friends and enemies of Cap?’ Quesada said with a smile. “˜You’re going to have to read the books to find out.'” (CNN)

“”˜I was shocked. I was not expecting it,’ said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. “˜I’d rather they didn’t kill him–but it’s going to mean great sales.'” (Daily News)

And here’s the sad one, from the Daily News: “”˜It’s a hell of a time for him to go. We really need him now,’ said co-creator Joe Simon, 93, after being informed of his brainchild’s death.” If this is all a fake-out to boost sales, I hope that somebody told Mr. Simon that’s all it is.

I will have much more to say about Civil War, though not until after finishing my coverage of this year’s New York Comic-Con, and probably my review of the 300 movie. And yes, I will buy and read Captain America #25 (if I still can find a copy at cover price), so Marvel’s sales stunt has worked. But I’m doing it out of a sense of duty as a comics historian. I feel no pleasure at the prospect of seeing Marvel kill off the embodiment of the American spirit, even if his demise proves to be only temporary. Marvel quickly undid the gouging out of Spider-Man’s eye (see “Comics in Context” #113), but that didn’t alter my distaste for that storyline. And if the rumor I heard during the New York Comic-Con proves to be true, even greater horrors await in the Marvel Universe.

It was only a year ago that New York Comic-Con audience, including myself, was happily photographing Joe Simon posing with an attendee dressed as Captain America (see “Comics in Context” #125). What questions might have been raised at panels at this year’s New York Comic-Con had we known what would happen to Captain America less than two weeks later?

For that matter, how has the spirit of Marvel, and of the superhero genre, changed since their Silver Age forty-some years ago? This year’s New York Comic-Con offered attendees the chance to judge for themselves by listening to the man who launched what he called the Marvel Age of Comics. And keep in mind, I record quotations to the best of my ability; I don’t make any of them up.

FRIDAY FEB. 23, 6:30 PM

cic2007-03-09-02.jpgThe panel in the Javits Center’s Special Events Hall was titled “Stan Lee: An American Icon,” and indeed he is. Roy Thomas, Stan’s protégé in the 1960s who succeeded him as editor in chief, was supposed to interview him onstage, but had to cancel his trip to New York at the last minute.

Roy’s replacement introduced himself to the audience: “I’m Joe Quesada of Marvel Comics, and let me say, I’m lucky to have a job.”

Quesada reminisced about how when he was a boy, he didn’t read comics but his father learned about Stan Lee’s groundbreaking anti-drug storyline in Amazing Spider-Man #96-98 (1971). Quesada’s father encouraged him to read these issues and, Quesada told us, “I really got hooked.” Quesada continued, “What my father didn’t realize was that he was starting a whole other addiction,” that he said ultimately cost more than cocaine.

In keeping with the “icon” theme, Quesada placed the Marvel Age’s founding father among some heavy company. “He is Elvis, he is the Beatles, he’s Bill Clinton,” declared Quesada, introducing Stan Lee to the vast audience.

But Stan was not there. To fill time, Quesada started reminiscing about being on stage with Lee and Kevin Smith a while back, and then Stan came down the aisle, waving to the crowd. Everyone stood and applauded, even the little kids seated in front of me, and there was loud cheering. “I wasn’t late!” Stan explained; “I was waiting for them to call me!”

Much as he clearly loves public adulation, perhaps there’s a part of Stan Lee that feels it’s a wee bit excessive. “You mean,” he asked Quesada, “I’ve come over here to answer questions for these people, who know more about us than we do?” Stan turned to the audience, and asked good-naturedly, “Don’t you guys have anything better to do?”

One thing that a lot of these guys were doing was massing in front of the stage, several rows deep, to take flash photographs of Stan the Man. THis is something that the convention organizers should have anticipated, but didn’t. Lee may indeed have been concerned, but he characteristically masked it with humor. “They’ve left us alone!” No security!” with “all these hostile people!” he exclaimed in mock panic. “I’m scared!” The audience laughed, as he surely intended.

“Do you feel the love in the room?” Quesada asked him.

Finally the cavalry arrived, and Stan was relieved. “Oh, security,” he observed, and then warned the audience, “You better watch out. We got a guy in a red shirt here!”

Quesada asked him about his long career at Marvel. “Before I came up with the Fantastic Four,” Lee replied, “the comic book industry was a cultural wasteland.” That’s really not much of an exaggeration, but Lee nonetheless apologized for his characteristic hyperbole. “You have to forgive me. It’s been a tough day. I refuse to be serious.”

Then Lee continued his familiar story of what seems to have been a creative midlife crisis, and the turning point both in his career and the history of comics. Lee said that “The great thing about it”–comics–“was working with the greatest artists and writers.” But, referring to Martin Goodman without naming him, Lee explained that “Unfortunately our publisher thought comics were read by little kids or illiterate adults.” Lee claimed his unnamed publisher even decreed that he could not use words of more than three syllables. Dissatisfied with these restrictions, “Finally I was ready to quit.” Then he added, self-deprecatingly, “I make slow decisions. I was 40 years old when I said that.” (Actually, he was 39, which is close enough.) But “Then I did The Fantastic Four and everything changed.” Lee told us that he even used words of more than three syllables in the comics!

“I think at that point the books said Atlas Publications,” Stan recalled. Actually, Goodman’s line of comics had dropped the title “Atlas,” and if you look at the cover of Fantastic Four #1 or The Incredible Hulk #1, you’ll see no company name listed. But Stan’s real point was that he thought the company needed a catchier, more memorable title, “so I came up with Marvel.” (Though he didn’t mention it, this appropriately came from the title of the company’s first superhero comic, Marvel Comics #1, published in 1939.) This name, Stan pointed out, lent itself to slogans like “Make Mine Marvel!” and “the Marvel Age of Comics.” “You see how corny I am,” he confided to the crowd.

Even though Lee has done work for DC in recent years, it is clear that feelings linger from the old days, when Marvel’s rival so thoroughly dominated the comics market. Stan told the audience that back in the 1960s DC “called itself National Comics.” Observing Marvel’s success since it took on its new name, Lee continued, National “decided to change their name,” too. So, he said, they “hired a professional name change company,” which “labored for weeks” to come up with just the right new name. And, after all this herculean labor, Stan told us, “they came up with DC.” And Stan was and remains unimpressed. “Make Mine DC!? My God!”

Quesada told Lee that “One thing that got me hooked” on Marvel Comics, “besides the great stories was the sense of community,” and Quesada talked about what he called “this magnificent world of artists and writer” that Stan dubbed the Marvel Bullpen. Ah, yes, the sense of community at Marvel. I remember that from my time there in the 1980s and early 1990s, before most of my friends and I all got bounced.

Lee then praised Quesada and “every idea this guy comes up with,” especially Civil War to tumultuous applause. Quesada demurred, saying that Civil War wasn’t his idea. Lee retorted that “The great thing about being editor in chief us you can take credit for everything! I’ve been doing it for years!”

Then, more seriously, Lee said, “I get so much credit,” but that “a lot of it should go to Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, John Romita, John Buscema,” and he added other names from Marvel’s Silver Age as the audience applauded.

Then Lee explained that “You can draw a script in a hundred different ways,” but success in visual storytelling “depends on where you put a closeup, where you put a long shot.” Stan continued, “A guy like Kirby could not draw a dull panel.” Lee said that his artists were “like the finest directors” in movies. “If it wasn’t for these talented artists, I wouldn’t be sitting here getting these nice things said [to me] by Joe Quesada.”

Quesada ventured, “There has to be a ringmaster.”

Knowing a straight line when he heard one, Lee replied, “Of course, it’s all due to me,” and the audience burst into laughter.

The crowd got it. When Stan Lee appears in public, there are actually two Stans on view. One is his over-the-top public persona, and the audience recognized he was doing it ironically, as a self-created comedy character, mocking his own ego, and they loved it. Then, every so often, Stan lets the mask slip, and you see a more serious, generous Stan Lee, as when he graciously praised his many collaborators. And the audience loved this Stan, as well.

As I wrote last week, I missed seeing Stephen Colbert at the con earlier that day. Colbert has created for himself a brilliantly funny public persona, trusting his audience to understand and appreciate his masterful use of irony. And Stan Lee has done much the same thing, and like Colbert, devised a comic persona that has won him a loyal and enthusiastic following.

Quesada asked Lee to explain how he went about collaboration.

“When I first thought of Spider-Man,” Lee began, ” I wanted Jack Kirby to do it.” Stan said he told Kirby, “I wanted a teenager with the power of a spider who can climb up walls. And I said, “˜But, Jack, don’t make him look like Captain America. You know how you like to draw these heroic guys with big muscles. I want him to be just this little, wimpy kid, just like anybody.'” So Kirby drew the character, “and it looked like a young Captain America,” Stan told us. “I thought Steve Ditko had the kind of style that might be better.” So it was Ditko who drew the kind of Spider-Man that Lee was looking for. “That’s how important the art style is.”

With regard to working with Ditko, Stan told us, “With Spider-Man I did the first plot by myself, [and] probably the second plot. Then Steve Ditko made suggestions,” Lee continued. “Probably by the twentieth issue he was doing the plotting.”

This Lee was explaining how the “Marvel method” of creating stories worked, and how he could give a story his personal style even if someone else had plotted it. “When I wrote the copy,” he said, meaning the dialogue and captions, “I could give it the style.” Indeed, Lee revealed that he enjoyed having the artists do plotting: “It made it more fun for me,” he said, because “the pages would be a surprise.” Then “I would change it,” meaning the story, “in the writing.”

In “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” the show I co-curated at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art, we have a good example of this. We have a page from Fantastic Four Annual #3, in which, according to the notes he made in the border, Kirby intended that Doctor Doom was raging because the Thing had crushed his hands in a previous story. In his dialogue Lee altered Doom’s motivation, having him instead seethe with fury over his previous defeats by Reed Richards. This more clearly motivates Doom’s attempt in the annual to wreck Richards’ wedding to Susan Storm.

Turning to his work with Kirby, Lee asserted that “I came up with Galactus,” but when Kirby sent him the pages for Fantastic Four #48, “All of a sudden I see a naked nut on a surfboard, and I said “What’s that?'” This was, of course, the character we now know as the Silver Surfer. “Jack said, “˜Well, I figure anybody as powerful as Galactus… he ought to have a herald who goes ahead of him….'” Stan added, “And to Jack it was just a throwaway character.””

Lee perceived, “There was a certain nobility to” the Surfer. “Jack drew him in such a way that he looked like the goodest [sic] person who ever lived, and I tried to write him that way.” Lee confessed, “I sort of fell in love with the character.” Lee said he then had the Surfer appear in further issues, and came to think of him as his character. “I sort of feel the Silver Surfer is mine because Jack just tossed it away.”

Lee declared he was engaged in a “real collaborative process” with such artists and that “I didn’t know what they were going to bring me.” He added, “Because I was doing all the writing, I could keep the style consistent.”

Lee then explained that “you want to write a story in such a way that you’re talking to the reader.” Working on “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” I realized just how important Stan’s narration is. Nowadays, narration and captions have fallen out of favor in superhero comic books, except when a character is narrating his own adventure. But Stan used captions, not in the guise of an anonymous, omniscient narrator, but as the voice of the storyteller, who spoke in Stan’s distinctive manner, reaching out to the readers, creating a bond of community with them.

Returning to the subject of working with Ditko, Stan revealed, “I think Steve made up the idea of Spider-Man shooting webs.” Lee maintained, “I wanted him crawling walls, [and] super-strong. I came up with the web-shooters idea.”

It turns out that Ditko claimed in a 1965 interview that he himself came up with the “web gimmick on wrist.” But in a 1988 interview an artist named Eric Stanton, who shared a studio with Ditko in the 1960s, claimed, “I think I added the business about the webs coming out of his hands“.

Who’s right? In 1962, when Lee and Ditko created Spider-Man, neither of them imagined how successful the character would become. So how likely was either one to remember precisely who came up with what? And now, forty-five years later, memories may have blurred even further. What impresses me is that Stan gave Ditko credit for the idea of Spider-Man shooting webs; who came up with the idea of the actual web-shooter devices seems less important (and, after all, both the Spider-Man movies and comics have now disposed of them as nonessential).

Taken with Lee’s description of how his collaborations worked, Quesada observed, it’s “like [the] jazz composition idea.” “Yeah,” Stan enthusiastically agreed, “like riffs.”

Next Quesada asked who was responsible for the “soap opera quality” and “cliffhangers” in Marvel stories.

Stan replied quietly, “It was me.” Then he explained, with undisguised practicality, “It’s a lot easier to take one plot and keep it going for a lot of issues.” Moreover, “and in those days I was writing all the stories! So it made it easier for me.” Then, in a confidential manner, Stan advised the audience, “I’m going to give you a real philosophical theory you can keep with you the rest of your life. You will find that some of the most creative decisions in life are made because of laziness and selfishness.” The audience laughed, and Quesada commented, “That’s good.”

Next Quesada asked if Lee had had any idea that the characters he co-created would become as successful as they have.

“If someone said you’ll be at a convention talking to people with nothing better to do, at in a million years,” replied Stan. “We were hoping the books would sell, so we wouldn’t lose our jobs and could pay the rent. If someone said you’ll be talking at conventions to people with nothing better to do, and that Tobey Maguire and Nic Cage and Robert Downey Jr. would be starring in movies based on what we were doing. . . .we would’ve said, “˜You’re drunk! No way!'”

“Did you think you’d do better than DC?” Quesada inquired.

“Oh, yes!” answered Stan. “I read DC books. There was no way they could compete with us!” And the audience laughed.

More seriously, Lee explained, “I felt they were in the wrong track. For example, in the Batman books most if the stories were detective stories. There was never any personal problem in Batman’s life. . . .We were concentrating on how can Spider-Man get enough money to pay for Aunt May.”

Lee explained that he and his collaborators “would try to get into the personal life of these characters, and I knew that that was better.”

It seems so obvious how Marvel in the 1960s differed from DC, but by Stan’s account, DC just couldn’t figure it out. Lee said, “We hoped they would never discover” what made Marvel comics sell. He told us that he had sources at DC, just as they did at Marvel, so he heard what they were up to.

“They wondered when our books started to outsell theirs,” Lee said. “They decided it was because you [Marvel] use more dialogue on your covers. I said next month, no dialogue on covers.” And of course, he continued, Marvel still outsold them. “They had another meeting,” Lee recounted, at which they decided “Marvel uses more red on their covers,” so when Stan heard this, he decreed that Marvel wouldn’t use red on the next month’s covers, and Marvel still sold better. This “went on and on,” Stan stated, “and I liked it that way!”

But what would Stan Lee have liked to do if he hadn’t been a success in comics?

Considering Stan’s skill as a public performer, it should not come as a surprise that, as he told us, “When I was young I wanted to be an actor.” In fact, as a teenager during the Great Depression. Lee was a member of the Federal Theatre Project, sponsored by the government’s Works Projects Administration (WPA). “I was on the stage. Orson Welles was a member, too. But he was in another locale.” However, Lee told us, “It didn’t pay anything. Comics paid more.” Stan concluded, “I should’ve stayed in it. I could’ve been Brad Pitt!”

Of course now Stan found himself a stage performing for an audience. He told us, “You don’t know what a good feeling this is. You’re a captive audience. I can say anything! My wife won’t even listen to me.”

Here’s something else that isn’t as surprising as it may first seem: Stan Lee also wanted to work in advertising. “I treated all of Marvel Comics like a big ad campaign,” he told the audience, and mentioned how he came up with “catchphrases” for Marvel like “‘Nuff said!” and “Excelsior!”

But, Stan claimed, if he hadn’t been in comics, “I would’ve starved.” He “wanted to write the Great American Novel,” he wanted to be an actor, and he wanted to be in advertising, but he conceded that each of these “wouldn’t have worked.”

Returning to the subject of comics, Stan spoke about his relationship with Marvel readers at a time when the world did not take comic books seriously: “We had an inside joke that no one else understood.”

So it seemed appropriate that Lee and Quesada started serenading the audience with the theme song for Marvel’s 1960s official fan club, the Merry Marvel Marching Society, whose very name is a joke. The audience, in the palm of Stan’s hand, applauded enthusiastically. Stan wrote the song, and Quesada complimented him, “Those are darn good lyrics.”

But Stan can do more than write jingles. He then told us that he once write a poem, titled “God Woke.” (In fact, there is a copy of the poem on display in “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” and it will be published later this year in the book Stan Lee: Conversations, from the University Press of Mississippi.) “Someone read it,” Stan continued, and “believe it or not, we’re working on a major motion picture based on “˜God Woke.”’

FRIDAY FEB. 23, 8:30 PM

Stan mentioned this at the opening of “Stan Lee: A Retrospective” later that night, and he seems genuinely astonished and delighted about that “God Woke” may become a movie. Here’s something else that years ago he could never have imagined happening.

The opening was a great success and, I’m happy to say, one of the highlights of my life in comics. All of us present excitedly watched as Stan went through the show, frequently surprised and, it seems, genuinely thrilled at the many original art pages and artifacts we had found from his lengthy career. He was excited when I showed him the copy of “God Woke” in our exhibit. We also had a copy of Esquire from the 1960s that had a feature article about Marvel on display on the bottom shelf of a display case. Stan actually lay down on the floor to get a better look, but we need not have worried, because the Man got back on his feet without difficulty.

Several veterans of 20th century Marvel were present, including Danny Fingeroth, Steve Saffel, Jim Salicrup and myself. It was disappointing that present day Marvel chose not to send a representative to the opening. But I felt the museum was alive and suffused with the true spirit of Marvel Comics on this memorable night.

Would that all of us could live to see the kind of success and appreciation that Stan Lee has deservedly received after his long, groundbreaking career. Perhaps the manga invasion of the last several years still would have happened, but I doubt that there would be an American comics industry today if not for the revolution Stan Lee spearheaded in the 1960s. He is Marvel’s true Captain, still going strong, still an inspiration. His familiar personal motto is “Excelsior!”, a Latin word meaning “higher” or “Ever upward!” and that encapsulates the classic Marvel spirit, something we still need today.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

Recently Marvel has sent me two handsome new reprint volumes: a new hardcover edition of Neil Gaiman’s Marvel 1602, for which I wrote an introduction, and the massive and expensive Daredevil Omnibus Vol. 1, a compilation of Frank Miller’s early work with the character, including an interview that I did with Miller and his collaborator Klaus Janson back in 1981. I also wrote the 1980s Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe entries on the Kingpin (definitely: I remember discussing it with Frank before I wrote it) and Elektra (probably: it reads like my work) that are included in the back of the book!

Of course I also hope any of you passing through New York City between now and July will visit “Stan Lee: A Retrospective” at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (www.moccany.org)!

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Trailer Park: Premiere Magazine is Dead. Long Live Premiere.

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 3:45 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

We begin today with a quotation:

My ashes, as the phoenix, may bring forth
A bird that will revenge upon you all:
And in that hope I throw mine eyes to heaven,
Scorning whate’er you can afflict me with.
3 Henry VI (1.4.35-8)

For those who need a little more context this essentially says, “Ha-Ha.”

Not just a Nelson “Ha-Ha” but a hearty Bob and Doug McKenzie, blow a couple of bullets from your nose, kind of “Ha-Ha.”

I normally don’t take too much satisfaction in pointing out the demise of a periodical that I bought on a consistent basis and enjoyed the hell out of for simply the level of respect given to the medium.

I can’t stand, and if you’ve digested the various magazines devoted to movie making and the business of film you know where I’m coming from, when pundits who have too much time and too readily an access to a thesaurus want to appear to have the linguistic arsenal to deconstruct a movie while championing obsequious movies that neither you nor I will ever the time, or temperament, to watch.

But, really, I have a bad case of schadenfreude and it filled me with utter delight to see that Premiere magazine is no longer printing any more issues.

Sure, this story would be different if certain things never happened but they did and there isn’t anything that can change that the very same man who wrote me this note is now in the unemployment line.

Dear Mr. Stipp:As the editor in chief of Premiere, I was completely unaware of any conversations you may have had with Jessica Letkemann. Our Trailer Stash online feature grew out of Tom Roston’s “Notes From The Dream Factory” column in Premiere’s Jan/Feb 2007 issue about movie trailers. The editorial department thought it would be a good idea to extend the concept to premiere.com, and so Trailer Stash was born. As a former freelancer, I sympathize with how you feel, but I can assure you that none of us on the magazine side of Premiere had any idea that you were doing this sort of column or that you had talked to premiere.com about it.

I hope we can work together in the future.

All the best,
Peter Herbst
Editor-in-Chief, Premiere

But, in the end, even a legal boilerplate response to my inquiries as to why I believed something so lame like a trailer column could be boosted like a pack of Chicklets in a 7-11 wouldn’t prevent the progress of karma.

It is, however, a hollow victory because, like I mentioned, I actually bought the magazine. I loved the balance it struck between film criticism and puffy journalism; I mean, really, a Day In The Life of an Extra? I’m not pointing fingers as to what could have went wrong for these fine, upstanding people but any story that wants to sing a swan song for the little engine that couldn’t only need to look over their shoulder and see how magazines like Empire in the UK are managing to increase their market share while evolving with their audience.

In fact, one of the contributing issues about why this once mighty mag has taken it on the chin is its inability to adapt to the marketplace. I know, for some, the talk of how to monetize a property is about as exciting as watching an episode of The Simple Life but take a look at one publication, Advertising Age, had to say about the harbingers of doom that led to this moment:

Premiere’s paid circulation has declined slowly over the years, from an average of 616,089 in 1995 to 492,498 in the second half of last year, according to Harrington Associates and the Audit Bureau of Circulations. Even more ominous, Premiere sold 24.7% fewer ad pages in 2006 than it did the year before, according to the Publishers Information Bureau.

I know, as a salesperson, having to go out and hustle ad space isn’t easy, especially when you can’t show an advertiser a return-on-investment figure that would make it appealing to them to open up their checkbook. They never really messed with the formula that got them to where they would eventually die on their feet and, I would posit, that’s exactly what’s wrong with traditional “old media” types nowadays.

You can’t just expect for people to be satiated with getting all their awesome, super cool information in a monthly digest. It’s simply not as relevant as the Internet, certainly not as fast, and that’s what’s killing me when I see geezers think that to stay true to what worked in the past will always work in the future. Premiere had no significant web presence in the way of exclusive material, no outreach online to other web entities, a site that looked like it was crafted by a 2nd year computer science major and a shocking disdain to incorporate any of these things as a last ditch effort to save what was left of their publishing shell.

Since I’m not the one walking to Premiere’s HQ with a stogie in my mouth, walking into a well-lit office, surrounded by neophyte sycophants who tell me that every idea is a great idea I can’t say what was going on in the last throes of this magazine’s life. I do know, though, that stubbornness to take an excellent brand that most would kill for to the next level is appalling and, in the end, they self-destructed their print publication with the kind of panache that’s usually reserved for the “thump-thump” of a fast moving squirrel that’s eaten by the underside of some Firestones that are strapped onto an H3. For that, huzzah, good fellows, you’ve done well in not figuring out how to stay afloat and viable.

It’s hard for me not to care about the great pieces that came out of Premiere’s camp but it’s easy, real easy, not to just a laugh a little on the inside based on the buckets of vitriol I have for the poor way they choose to do business. They would do well in seeing this as a new opportunity and a chance to embrace the ways to be inventive on the Internet, without cribbing too much from those who have been here longer and possess a little more class.
KNOCKED UP (2007)

Director: Judd Apatow
Cast:
Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jason Segel
Release: June 1, 2007
Synopsis:
Allison Scott (Heigl) is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone (Rogen) results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby’s father, Allison decides to give the lovable doof a chance.

An overgrown kid who has no desire to settle down, Ben learns that he has a big decision to make with his kid’s mom-to-be: will he hit the road or stay in the picture? Courting a woman you’ve just Knocked Up, however, proves to be a little difficult when the two try their hands at dating. As they discover more about one another, it becomes painfully obvious that they’re not the soul mates they’d hoped they might be.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative; I Am Not Drinking The Populist Kool-Aid On This. This could either be an unmitigated disaster or this could be the one comedy you could actually con your old lady into seeing.

One of the biggest issues, though, I had with this trailer is that by the end of this thing you’re not quite sure of whether this is going to be filled with the same raucous and raunchy comedy we all came to know and love from THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or if this is going to be VIRGIN-lite; however, I’m feeling it’s more of the latter.

The opening of this trailer is mediocre and kind of vanilla. I’m not so much taking contention with the pacing, we’re whisked right into Katherine Heigl’s place in this movie, we’re led to believe that Allison (or Alison with one “L” as IMDB and the trailer seem a bit conflicted about what was written on her fictitious birth certificate) is some homely PA who is getting her chance to be in front of the camera. Before we have any other idea of who the hell this chick is or why we should try and comprehend what’s going on we go over to the much more interesting Ben character who is knocking out some homey into a dank pool and getting his swerve on as a pathetic looking bachelor with no future. Harold Ramis’ presence doesn’t really provide anything more than just extra context with the idea that Ben is a gimp with no prospects in life.

This is where we all can see everything that’s about to happen and, thus, rendering the first fifteen or so minutes of this movie essentially pointless; David Mamet had some things to say about filmmaking where you could walk into a film way after it’s started and still get what’s going on and it wasn’t complimentary. 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN excelled because right from the word “go” Carell was inordinately interesting and pathetic. Let’s hope that the same is the case here.

What’s more alarming is that the moment we get to sample from the film where we’re given an extended scene is where Ben’s friend hits on Allison’s friend who happens to be married. It’s excruciating because you’re expecting something funny to come out of this, obviously it was put there for a reason, but the big “pay-off” just hangs there like a stale fart.

“Eight Weeks Later”

And this is still not funny! Everything that’s come out of Ben’s mouth isn’t amusing, his one-night-stand turned impregnated lady isn’t interesting, and this whole set-up is taking way too long. I actually suffer from the shakes in the sheer terror that this flick is going to be a turkey, that it’s not as quick with the funny as its predecessor.

It’s not until we get ¾’s of the way through things where I wish I had a CUT AND PASTE option for myself. It’s here, only here, where we actually begin not to laugh but to actually feel like we’re given an actual movie to be sold on. I don’t why in God’s sacred name we’re given a Traveling Wilburys ditty, it’s kind of disconcerting in an Odd Choice sort of way, but Seth’s actions from this point actually pump life into what could-be for this movie. Treating his girlfriend’s children like pets when he plays with them? Funny. Paul Rudd’s distillation of what marriage is actually like? A little fetid with all that we know marriage is not but it’s still amusing. Katherine’s meltdown in the delivery room? Um, I think we all agree that we’ve seen this before and it was funny the first few dozen times we’ve been exposed to the joke.

“”¦And how grown-ups are born.”

And the Voice-Over Guy? Completely cheesy in every way and acts like a harbinger of how un-VIRGIN this movie looks like it’s going to be. Buyer beware.

THE KINGDOM (2007)

Director: Peter Berg
Cast: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Jeremy Piven, Danny Huston, Richard Jenkins
Release: April 20, 2007
Synopsis: Foxx stars as whip-smart FBI Special Agent Ronald Fleury, who has just received the assignment of his career: assemble an elite team (played by Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper and Jason Bateman) and go to Riyadh to hunt down and capture the terrorist mastermind behind a deadly attack on Americans working in Saudi Arabia. The feds have only one week to infiltrate and cripple a cell bent on jihad to western society.

No training could prepare Fleury and his team for the disorienting culture shock they face once inside this scorching foreign land–a byzantine maze of profiteering politicians and storefront terrorists. Bound by handlers who refuse to play ball with the U.S., the agents quickly find the local law enforcement more hindrance than help and soon grow uncertain of anybody’s allegiance.

But when a sympathetic Saudi police captain helps them navigate Riyadh politics and investigate the true cause of the attack, Fleury finds an unexpected comrade-in-arms. In their lightning fast attempt to crack the case, the partners’ search leads them straight to the killers’ front door. Now in a fight for their own lives, two teams on opposite sides of the war on terror won’t stop until justice is found in The Kingdom.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. Don’t be fooled, Americans, THE KINGDOM was filmed right here in Phoenix.

I find this bit amusing and I can’t figure out why. There have been other locations that have doubled as something else but the fact that they’ve passing off the Middle East for a freeway I travel almost every day just makes me laugh a lit on the inside. For a little bit of realism, check this out and let the truth run free.

We open up to people playing a rousing game of softball as we’re told it’s the Western Housing Compound, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Again, it’s not. It’s Arizona. In fact, a lot of these places look oddly familiar to me.

So, as a whole lot of people are playing the game we get some gunshots and then even a drive-by mixing things up, and I think you could easily mistake this red herring for an assassination as I think it was done to probably to help the visitors feel like they were back in LA. Anyway, they go with the whole assassin thing, detonating a large explosive device, it’s a pretty sweet looking explosion too, done in broad daylight so you can really make out the grey plumes and orange punch of flame, and we get a really awkward exchange between Jamie Foxx and his on-screen kid. The young’n says he’s not one of the bad guys and the kid retorts that he isn’t either. Ok, so what? Were we to assume that Foxx is some kind of lethal dude but it’s OK to help kill other people so long as your sanctioned by the Gub-Ment of the US of A? The message is a but muddled there.

Props for the trailer just quickly whipping through the introductions of Jason Bateman (Good for him getting so much more work), Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper; we’re given a taste and that’s all that’s needed at this point.

“It’s a bit like Mars.” This is a line that Cooper has as we’re into the thick of this murder investigation that’s being headed by these government employees when he describes what it’s like in Saudi Arabia and all I have to say is wow. He not only nailed SA but AZ as well; you do not even realize.

Things kick up an even greater notch as we get that instrumental music, a lot of drums banging and the tempo is just like an accelerator pedal pushed down to the floor, with expediency being the order of the day here. It seems that there is a lot of politicking here, let’s hope this doesn’t become another solid, but real slow on the action, SYRIANA which could happen. The one saving grace is that Peter Berg is behind the wheel so there is some hope here.

We get more music, more action here and there, and the next thing you know we’re back in Arizona with these guys driving on my freeway; sorry, it just takes me completely out of the moment. However, I am really digging on where we’re going. It seems this Cat and Mouse movie wants to live up to the idea of moving forward and being smart about it as well. You just sense it. Even as we get a shoulder fired RPG, coming out of a wicked attack scene, I am completely on board for this ride.

Oh yeah, a car flips over near the very end of this thing. I think I passed that mile marker a few times last week on my way back from work in Scottsdale.

I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE (2007)

Director: Chris Rock
Cast:
Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi
Release: March 16, 2007
Synopsis: I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE, written, directed by and starring Chris Rock, is a sophisticated comedy about marriage and the lure of a new love. Nikki (Kerry Washington) is the exciting free spirit who makes Richard’s (Chris Rock) daydreams come true while Richard’s wife Brenda (Gina Torres) is so preoccupied with her own career and raising their two children that she has little time for her husband.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Awful. At the beginning I’m on-board for all the usual trappings of a comedy; somehow, sometimes, I wonder if there is just any other way to open a 1st person movie without having to resort to Voiceover Guy or narration from our protagonist. Que sera sera.

So, we get Rock explaining how awesome his life is. He chats up his wife of seven years. This actually helps us kind of understand what this movie is going to explore. The woman isn’t a shrew, isn’t looking to rip his wang off at any opportunity and doesn’t seem like the kind of gal looking to cuckold him. So, what’s the big reveal?

They’re bored with each other.

So, how do we proceed from here? It’s disconcerting that the trailer makers go to En Vogue’s old-school “My Lovin'” as it kind of feels like it was done for ethic and not esthetic sakes. I guess turnabout is still fair play but, people, the song is really old and I’ve taken contention with this trick on more than one occasion. However, we press on with the idea of how to make a 7-year itch go away without it seeming like a stupid, vapid insult to our collective intelligence.

We take two steps back with the trailer when Rock proposes to buy his wife some suggestive undergarments only for her to grab the granny panties in typical form. Simple question, if his marriage was so awesome then why did he say it was at the beginning if his wife doesn’t want anything to do with sex? It’s rhetorical but logistically valid I think considering how everything starts.

Now, Rock meets an old friend in the process of purchasing the panties in question and the friend not only is still hot but flashes him a nice smile and her soon-to-be-purchased see-through thongs. No, nothing could come out of that, right?

Right. Rock asks us all, like we’re in the pitch meeting with him, What would it be like to be single again? (Gasps everywhere) The problem with this question and, consequently, this trailer is that we switch allegiances. Not a good thing if you want me to follow what you’re saying.

At first Rock seems like he’s the protagonist with the problem that needs working out, he’s living in a pressure cooker of a life that seems long gone from his days as a bachelor, but then he becomes the possible cheater, thereby, switching any good will we have for him and his family to his wife who, possibly, shows her love throughout the film. This ancillary storyline about this past friend fucking up the works with her hotness and flirtiness just serves to confuse. And if you don’t believe this theory just listen to the slow soul soundtrack that plays behind his wife as she’s near tears wondering where in hell her husband is at and tell me there isn’t something happening.

The premise seems like almost perfunctory to the larger issue of what to do about staleness in a marriage. That you can’t look and fantasize about other ladies seems to be, somewhat, at the crux of this but it’s all very scattered and, I posit, the message is lost somewhere in this trailer.

OCEANS THIRTEEN (2007)

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Elliott Gould, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner
Release: June 13, 2007
Synopsis: In the new sequel to Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Twelve, the cast is reunited with director Steven Soderbergh and producer Jerry Weintraub. Joining the cast for the new adventure are Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Love It. I absolutely hate it, and I realize that in an era where Hitler exterminated millions of people in the name of his own insanity that hate is strong word not to be used flippantly, but I hate it when I have to endure a long, wordy, opening for a trailer.

It doesn’t help me understand the movie, I feel it’s lazy and self-indulgent of the trailer makers to do it and I am loathe to even try and figure out what in the hell I’m listening to when I don’t understand the context.

I love this long, wordy opening.

Since I’m familiar with this OCEAN’S franchise, as are a lot of you, we kind of all “get” what Pacino, who looks back to form in some regard here, is saying as we open on a large, sweeping vista of Vegas (Best city in the world for Boozin’ and Losin’, IMHO), is saying as he describes the kind of hurt he wants to put on Danny Ocean and crew. We don’t need to know much but because we know he’s talking to Clooney and because we all know what kind of a rabbit turd OCEANS 12 was so we know it couldn’t get worse than that I am willing to say that Clooney really shines as well with his witty retort back to Al.

Now, since this is teaser, the name of this game is time and I feel that the teaser takes a bit of a misstep when, in the scene following the first one, we have George kind of hint at what this job is going to be as Brad Pitt gives his one of his own “O” faces.

I do like, however, the sweeping montage of disguises that our guys are going to don this time out. While it’s not riveting or engaging it certainly makes for a smile when you can see Don Cheadle as the closest thing I’ll see to a black Elvis this year.

I’m glad that Casey Affleck and Scott Caan are back for reasons that should be clear when you watch the first entry into the series; they are really the pivotal goofballs that make watching OCEAN’S 11 more than just a casual comedy. They’re weird, we’re not given a shred of back-story, yet they’re just amusing to look at.

The other thing that makes this teaser note-worthy is its ending with Andy Garcia. I didn’t know what to make of him standing in front of the mirror, looking all pimp, with Clooney asking if he’s ready, to do what we have no idea but who gives a fuck, and as soon as Garcia says he was born ready it is Clooney’s eye-rolling that seals the deal for me. It’s subtle, funny and makes me eager to see what this job will entail.

Keneteph’s Korner: The Real (Emcee) Juice

Filed under: Columns,Keneteph's Korner — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:31 am
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The Real (Emcee) Juice

keneteph2007-03-09-01.jpgMany don’t know about a phenomenal emcee by out of Chicago by the name of Juice. This is not to be confused with DJ Ju-Ice out of Jersey, or any other rappers (like the one Game signed), with the same name. THIS Juice has established himself as one of the best freestyle lyricists in HipHop. He has beaten mainstream rappers Common, and even Eminem in a 1997 battle called The Scribble Jam. Both rappers have publicly admitted to being defeated by Juice in battles. He has also been featured on Sway and King Tech’s Wake Up Show in Los Angeles, and has constantly impressed them with his freestyle skills.

Despite his success he is not signed to a major label, but because of his own determination to advance HipHop, he continues to make lyrical innovations and stretch his abilities. On the path of a lyricist, he’s also had to prove himself to HipHop fans and artists alike, who have doubted his skills and said his freestyles were pre-written. He always shows and proves, but is now focusing on putting songs together, instead of freestyling. He released a full length CD of songs called All Bets Off in 2005. Explaining when he decided to start writing, Juice said, “I realized when it came to rap, artists who are good at freestyling usually aren’t good at writing lyrics, and artists who write songs can’t freestyle worth a shit. Even though I was accused of writing my freestyles, I actually wanted to master song writing and put concepts together.”

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keneteph2007-03-09-02.jpgThe independent artist has his own label, Conglomerate Music Corp, and has formed his own group, called Juice and the Machine. The Machine is made up of various musicians who play his tracks live. They have a CD out from a live show they did at a club called The Party, which comes with a DVD of the same show. The Live from the Party CD/DVD is put together by Bandit Productions and The Conglomerate Music Corp., and is SLAMMING!!! Juice and the Machine bring out how HipHop should sound. It’s a mixture of songs and freestyles, and when Juice freestyles, it’s like the band freestyles with him in musical melody. I was even more impressed when I found out the band only practiced twice before the show!! Juice said he formed a band to further establish himself as an artist. “People seem to see you as more credible and take to you more if you have a live band with you. I got fans who say they don’t like Rap, but like my music because of the universal appeal.” The CD/DVD can be purchased on the Bandit Productions website.

Juice says his main goal with his music is to stay successful as an independent artist, and break a few stereotypes some fans have about underground artists. “Just because an artist is underground, doesn’t mean they can’t be well off. Some fans think if an artist is well off and not struggling, it means they’ve lost their underground musical flair. That’s not the case at all – actually a lot of underground cats are more well off and have more money in their pocket than some of these mainstream artists who claim to have money.”

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QUICK STOP EXCLUSIVE: For those who would like to hear Juice’s freestyle skills, we have two freestyles he did for Quick Stop Entertainment. The first one he did after I gave him three phrases to put in the verse; “Kenneth Plume,” “Kevin Smith,” and “Quick Stop Entertainment.” Due to my shitty phone connection he thought I said “Quick South,” but I’m sure you’ll forgive him. This is the freestyle he left on my voice mail after we hung up.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Juice Freestyle #1 (MP3 format) ““ 1 MB

The second is actually a freestyle interview. This is the first of its kind, where I asked Juice five questions – he had no idea I would ask beforehand, then he freestyled the answers. Now, you got a distinction from other rappers who call themselves “Juice” and “The Real Juice” – kind of like how back in the day there was the Ghostbusters cartoon, then another copy cat cartoon came out, so the first Ghostbusters cartoon changed it’s name to The Real Ghostbusters.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Juice Freestyle #2 (MP3 format) ““ 9.94 MB

Quick Stop Entertainment’s always bringing the good shit for that iPod!!

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Copyright 2007 Keneteph Entertainment

QSE News: 3/9/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:19 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Representatives for the estate of former Queen singer Freddie Mercury have sent a cease and desist order to NECA toys, barring the release of a new Mercury action figure.  According to the order, the figure was never approved and is therefore unauthorized.  When asked for comment about what was wrong with the figure, an insider stated that the toy “just didn’t have that certain, what’s the word, happiness?  No, that’s not the word…”
  • John Popper, lead singer/harmonica player for Blues Traveler, was arrested after Washington State Patrol clocked him going 111 mph in his Mercedes SUV. After searching the vehicle, officers found a large supply of weapons and a small amount of marijuana. When asked about the drugs, Popper stated that it’s “medicinal” and part of his weight loss plan.  When quizzed about the weapons, Popper responded simply, “This isn’t over, Dave Matthews. You know what you did and I’m coming for you.”
  • Disney announced yesterday that production has begun at Pixar on Toy Story 3.  Michael Arndt, who just won an Academy Award for his screenplay to Little Miss Sunshine, is penning the script.  According to Arndt, his “totally original” story is going to center on “Woody and Buzz heading to California so Buzz can be in a talent show.  However, along the way, Woody dies, right?  He ODs or something. So they have to tape him to the back of that little [EXPLETIVE DELETED] car with eyes and drive around with him.”
  • Three hundred fans of pop singer Michael Jackson paid $3,400 each in order to hang out with the reclusive superstar for one special night in Japan.  During the engagement, Jackson talked to the fans and took pictures, but did not sing or dance.  Insiders report that Jackson refused to do any of his “A” material when he found out the event had a 16 and over age limit.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/9/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:13 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • A song for anyone out there whose parents just don’t understand them… (Thingamabob)
  • Toss and turn your way over to the first episode of Can’t Sleep With Dave Foley… (Thingamabob)
  • Geena Davis talks of the somewhat limited roles of women in kid’s cartoons… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 8, 2007

QSE News: 3/8/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:57 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Marvel Comics has killed off one of its most recognizable characters ““ Captain America. Marvel has released a statement saying that plan on continuing the spirit of Captain America through other characters which will embody different aspects of America such as The Radical Right Winger, The Whiney Democrat and Jose Can-Chu-See.
  • Actress Kirsten Dunst has been named the Female Star of the Year at this year’s ShoWest film convention.  This is the award is the first major award that Dunst has won since her Golden Globe turn in Interview With a Vampire.  Organizers of ShoWest picked Dunst for the award in hopes that she will start picking more serious roles that will lead to nude scenes.
  • Gi-normous and angry talk show host, Rosie O’Donnell, has admitted that she has been treated for depression ever since the Columbine school shooting in 1999.  As part of her treatments to improve her mental health, O’Donnell claims that she hangs upside down for up to a half-hour everyday.  As a result of this “revelation,” we here at QSE News are reminded to tip our hats to the hard working men and women of the steel industry for making structural supports that can hold outlandish weights.
  • A reunited Genesis is heading out on tour. This version of the band will consist of Tony Banks, Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford with additional musicians to help round out the band’s sound. The group will play songs from the entire Genesis catalogue while ignoring the fact that Peter Gabriel was really the only talented member of the group.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/8/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:49 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s a bit odd, but this purports to be video of Mel Blanc’s vocal cords while he’s performing a selection of his famous characters… (Thingamabob)
  • Here’s NewsRadio‘s season 2 gag reel, part 1… (Thingamabob)
  • And NewsRadio‘s season 2 gag reel, part 2… (Thingamabob)
  • Bill McNeal’s case of the missing cane… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 7, 2007

QSE News: 3/7/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:28 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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  • Talk show host, Jerry Springer, has been tapped to replace Regis Philben on the popular televised talent show, America’s Got Talent.  Springer was picked by the producers to host the show and judge talent in spite of the irony.
  • In a recent interview, Avril Lavigne said she admires pop-stars like Britney Spears for their ability to sing and dance at the same time. Lavinge says that she aspires to “one day be able to do two things at the same time like chew gum and walk because that’s, like… totally hard and stuff.”
  • In an effort to connect more with their fans, several musical acts such as the Barenaked Ladies and Lynyrd Skynyrd have been hosting cruises where the bands are the main attraction.  Lynyrd Skynyrd reportedly signed on to do a cruise when their plan to perform on a long distance flight went down in flames.
  • And finally today, MTV, the once-vaunted music channel that doesn’t feel the need to broadcast music anymore, is looking to steal some thunder from popular social networks like MySpace and YouTube.  The poorly aging network is readying plans to build three different websites, aimed at children, teenagers and young adults in an attempt to reach a wider audience. One insider described the direction as a way to “collect a ton of underage ass in one spot to lure the lucrative ‘internet predator’ demographic.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/7/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:23 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • There’s always room for slow motion videos, right? (Thingamabob)
  • Would you beileve that, in 1986, the Russians produced an adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s 1948 book Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose? (Thingamabob)
  • The Monkees’ “Randy Scouse Git”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 6, 2007

Toy Box: Fruits Basket Kyo Sohma Statues

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 4:09 am
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While it’s true that most Japanese anime somehow manages to involve school girls, it’s not what you think. Really. Okay, maybe a little.

Fruits Basket is one of those shows (and corresponding manga) about a young school girl (Tohru Honda) who’s an outsider, never quite fitting in. She ends up working for a family, the Sohma’s, who are definitely outsiders themselves. Each of the Sohma’s are possessed by the animals of the Chinese Zodiac, along with one extra – the cat. The theme of this show is the loneliness and pain when you’re not part of the crowd, a universal condition certainly but one that’s all the more poignant in Japan, where the population is so dense. And before you write me complaining that I just made a rude comment on the intelligence of the Japanese, I meant dense as in ‘crowded’.

Southern Island, in concert with Funanimation, is producing a series of small statues based on the license. The first release is Kyo Sohma in two paint schemes, both reviewed here today. They also have plans to release Tohru Honda (the main character), Shigure Sohma, and Yuki Sohma. These will retail for about $40 each, and all available now.

Kyo Sohma – Fruits Basket

Kyo is possessed by the spirit of the cat. This was the one animal not included in the Chinese Zodiac, and he blames the rat, who has possesed Yuki. As you might imagine, that makes Kyo and Yuki enemies, and makes for interesting family holidays.

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The regular version of Kyo is a limited edition of 2000. The repaint is intended as an FYE store exclusive, and is liimited to 3000. I think this is the first time I’ve seen an exclusive with a higher run than the regular release.

Packaging – ***
I like my statue and bust boxes to have windows, so you can check out the actual product before you buy it. Thankfully, that’s what you get here, even if the window isn’t huge. The graphics on the box are attractive, with some basic stats on Kyo on the back. There’s no mention of the edition size or the actual statue’s number on the box though, so you’ll be playing a crap shoot if the numbering is important to you.

Each figure also comes with a free Fruits Basket playing card from the folks at Score.

Sculpting – ***1/2
They’ve done a pretty nice job capturing the anime appearance of Kyo, with a slight build and reverse Bart Simpson hair style. Small details like the wrist band are nicely sculpted, as our the pockets on the pants and even the shoelaces. While the anime style tends to be fairly minimalistic when it comes to detail, these statues capture a reasonable amount. One of my favorite touches on the sculpt is the hair, which is so thick in front as to appear like a separate piece, but which flows into the overall head sculpt in back to be almost smooth with the neck.

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The cat is a tad off, at least to my eye. This is the cat spirit of Kyo of course, but the proportions seem a bit different than the cartoon. I’ve only seen a couple episodes though, and it’s been awhile, so I may be misjudging. Still, it’s off enough to detract slightly for me.

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The bases are plain with no sculpt details at all. This plain appearance works fine considering the license, and lends a nice visual consistency to the entire set.

The biggest surprise will be the size, since these statues are fairly small at just 5.5 inches tall for just the figure sans base. Even with the small size, the body and head proportions are well done.

Paint – ***1/2
The majority of the paint work mirrors the quality of the sculpt, with the right amount of small detail work for the anime style. Broad colors, like the pants or jacket, are consistent and even, and the cuts between colors are generally sharp and clean.

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Just like with the sculpt, the cat is a bit wonky for me. The eyes are smaller than I expected, although the details on the ears and eyes are extremely clean.

The difference between the FYE exclusive and the regular edition is purely paint. In the photos, the darker colors are the standard, while the lighter colors are the regular edition.

Design – ***
Both the human Kyo and the cat are done in relatively relaxed poses, although the fisted left hand of Kyo tends to imply he’s not a happy camper. While the basic designs work fine, they lack that extra oompf of personality that would have put them over the top.

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Value – **
These are relatively small statues, and have a fair large edition size combined. At $40 to $50, you’re going to feel a bit underwhelmed by the size, but I suspect serious Fruits Basket fans will overlook the cost.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. The quality is quite good on the paint, and what you see in the photos is likely to be what you see when you open your box.

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Overall – ***
These are very nice statues, and some of the nicest licensed product I’ve seen for the show so far. However, at $40 – $50 you’re paying a pretty good premium, even at the low production run of just 2000 of the regular and 3000 of the FYE exclusive.

Where to Buy –
Southern Island still has them for sale, but I believe they are already sold out through them. Entertainment Earth has them listed on pre-order, but are charging $50 each.

Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review Peter Pan

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:26 am
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From Jean Seberg to transsexualism, Walt Disney’s Peter Pan has probably had the biggest Influence of all his films. If you include the tradition of women playing Peter Pan, than J. M. Barrie’s play may be the most influential art work of the 20th century.

Pan Wendy

I recall being obsessed with it as a kid and today I can’t remember why. Re-seeing it in DVD form after so many years I get a strange Proustian hit over the bomb in the ticking alarm clock (and clocks and time are a theme in the show), but it is a feeling, a mental atmosphere, a cloud of emotion, more than a tangible or solid memory. When, in the post hippie, early feminist era, women began wearing their hair short, a la Jean Seberg in Breathless, I attributed it to the precedent of Peter Pan (not Wendy). And isn’t Woody Allen’s title What’s Up, Tiger Lily an evocation of the Disney movie’s comic alien and shipboard hazards?

Pan Hook

One of the clever things about the film is that, as the supplementary material reminds us, the crocodile is the real villain. Captain Hook is a cowardly fop, whose Dickensianly named assistant Smee, serves to make him seem slightly more masculine. And for a short movie (77 minutes) a lot happens in it. The Darling family life is set up briskly. The flight to Never Land feels like a real escape. In Never Land there are pirates, caves, Indians (unfortunate, that), ships, gang planks, and more and more and more. To a tiny mind learning to absorb story, it must have seemed like an epic. Spielberg and Lucas have been trying to remake it, literally and figuratively, for decades.

Pan Bell

It’s great to get re-acquainted with it. Disney DVD’s two disc Platinum Edition hits the street on Tuesday, March 6, 2007, for $29.95. It boasts a new digital full frame restoration with DD 5.1 (along with a restored version of the original track), French and Spanish audio tracks, and subtitles.

First off, you are greeted by the choice of Fast Play or menu options. Fast Play simply starts the trailers and movie; to get anything else you need the menu. The animated, musical menu offers 31 chapter scene selection.

Pan real Tinker

Supplements on disc one begin with the audio commentary track, hosted by Roy Disney, who says correctly that Peter Pan represents Disney animation at the height of its “second golden age,” and joined by Leonard Maltin, animators Mark Davis, Ollie Johnston, Frank Thomas, and Ward Kimble, and voices and models Kathryn Beaumont (Wendy Darling) and Margaret Kerry (the leggy, buxom lass who served as the physical model for Tinker Bell), authors Jeff Kurdy and John Canemaker, and finally Walt Disney himself in oral history excerpts, in which he bemoans the “failure” of Alice in Wonderland, and confesses that, “I’m corny enough I want to be hit right here in the heart.” Alice, it turns out, didn’t have “any heart,” and one of the animators on the yak track feels that Disney blamed them for that.

In other supplements, you can play the film’s five official songs, with optional follow along lyrics, read or have read to you “Peter’s Playful Prank,” a digitalized version of the Golden Book version of the movie, and see a sneak peek of the forthcoming Tinker Bell spinoff, presumably straight to video.

Finally (actually first, as they are the first thing you see) are trailers for
Jungle Book 40th anniversary, Meet the Robinsons, a forthcoming mix of computer generated and drawn, Peter Pan in Return to Never Land, the straight to video sequel, and the new Tinker Bell.

As often happens, by the time you get to the second disc, DVD contents begin to feel thin and repetitious. Disc two is divided into four parts: Music, Backstage, Games, and Peter Pan’s Virtual Flight. That last item is a nothing, a three or four minute computer generated tour of the film’s unpopulated settings.

I barely looked at the Games section which has “Read Along Peter Pan,” “Camp Never Land: Train To Be a Lost Boy,” “Smee’s Sudoku Challenge,” “Tarrrget Practice,” and “Tink’s Fantasy Flight,” which I tried to play but couldn’t figure out.

Music contains a pirate song deleted from the film, or more precisely never shot, an interview with composer Richard Sherman who resurrected an unfinished song, wrote it up, and which we hear in a music video sung by Paige O’Hara. Finally, the Disney Channel’s T-Squad offer a music video of “The Second Star to the Right.”

Pan Walt

Backstage Disney offers up “You Can Fly: The Making of Peter Pan” (15:55), a modern making of; “In Walt’s Words: ‘Why I Made Peter Pan'” (7:41), a reading of an article that appeared in something called Brief magazine around the time the movie came out, and which is surely not really “in Walt’s own words,” but ghosted by a staff writer; “Tinker Bell: A Fairy’s Tale,” (8:27) an account of the fairy’s role in the Disney universe, from Disneyland gatekeeper to inspiration for subsequent “take charge” Disney dames; “The Peter Pan that Almost Was” (21:01), which offers variations on the finished film (Pan was supposed to be Disney’s second feature, but the war intervened; in one variation, Nana goes to Never Land); Art Galleries (Visual Development, David Hall Concept Art, Mary Blair Concept Art, Character Design, Storyboard Art, Layouts and Backgrounds, Production Photos, Live Action Reference, and Publicity), and “The Peter Pan Story,” a black and white promotional film from 1952 (12:04).

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Inserted into the box is a thick promotional catalog of Disney wares, and a six page and not completely helpful guide to the DVD (it doesn’t list the yak track participants).

Keneteph’s Korner: Lisa Murray – Reachin’ For The Sky with Skylife

Filed under: Columns,Keneteph's Korner — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:02 am
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Reachin’ For The Sky with Skylife

keneteph2007-03-06-01.jpgMost people only see the end result of a big accomplishment – whether it was the invention of the wheel, the light bulb, or even the internet. They don’t see the hard work, heartache, and failures that go into creating something great. In an effort to give people a better understanding of the path go-getters take, independent filmmaker Lisa Murray has begun a documentary showing the drive people have in manifesting their destiny. I Have Dreams – Dammit, released by her company, Skylife Productions, walks the viewers through the lives of dream pursuers and the resilience that carries them to their destination. “After coming against my own obstacles, in my pursuit of being a filmmaker, I decided to make this film in hopes to influence those who where going after their own dreams to stay motivated,” Murray stated.

So far the film’s trailer has received great reviews on the On The Lot website. The website was set up for a new reality TV series by Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg for indie filmmakers. I Have Dreams – Dammit is still in production, but is the first of many projects to come from Lisa Murray. This also is not the first project she’s received rave reviews for. Her short film, Free Hugs in Hollywood, was featured on Yahoo!’s homepage this past December and has received over 380,000 views. In the video Murray displays how the simple act of giving one a hug can be exactly what’s needed to brighten one’s day.

keneteph2007-03-06-02.jpgIn watching her videos, I couldn’t help but feel that Murray’s work has an authenticity to it that can truly change the world for the better. Her vision and determination is the touch of wholesome flavor the film industry needs in order to serve viewers a complete artistic meal. She is very one on one with her fans and constantly updates her video blogs, giving her personal perspective on the progression of her work. Still keeping her journey in perspective she stated, “I use my obstacles to push me forward, so I can move out of my own comfort zone, and accomplish what I need to.” Folks can still view and rate her trailer on the On The Lot website, and can hear more of her perspective and progress of the film on her You Tube Video Blogs.

More info can be found out about her company at www.skylifeproductions.com.

Copyright 2007 Keneteph Entertainment

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