FRED Entertainment

February 9, 2009

A Bit Of A Chat with Ken Plume & Robert Llewellyn

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I’m Ken Plume, and soon you’ll be listening to “A Bit Of A Chat” with me, Ken Plume.

In this episode, I’m having a bit of a chat with actor, writer, presenter, and now web producer, Robert Llewellyn.

Robert Llewellyn is best known as the neurotic, bad Canadian-accented service mechanoid Kryten from the legendary British sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf. Not content to corner that market, he decided to expand into TV presenting, becoming a recognizable face outside of latex as the host of Scrapheap Challenge for 10 years, and more recently the host of How Do They Do It? and co-host of Top Trumps.

He’s also penned nine books, including a memoir on the filming of the infamous American version of Red Dwarf, novels, and most recently Sold Out: How I Survived a Year of Not Shopping.

Robert has also turned his eye towards the internet, doing a regular video podcast, Wet Liberal Weekly, and launching a brand new series called Carpool, wherein he interviews interesting people whilst – you guessed it – driving.

As if that weren’t enough, Red Dwarf has been resurrected after a 10 year absence with a brand new series of specials, the first of which airs this Spring.

You can find Robert on the web at www.llew.co.uk, and see Carpool at www.llewtube.com.

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Before we get things going, though, Robert shot a short introductory video for our readers, which is immediately followed by the trailer for Carpool. Have a look, and then you can download (or stream) my chat with Robert directly below the vid…


Here now is my chat with Robert Llewellyn… Hope you enjoy…

Download “A Bit of a Chat with Ken Plume & Robert Llewellyn“:

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Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

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Drop Ken a line HERE.

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You can also find more of my interviews by clicking HERE.

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TV Or Not TV: 2/9 – 2/15

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: — admin @ 12:38 am

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Welcome back to TV or Not TV where I can’t wait to el fuego my Friday.

This week FOX both pleases and baffles the heck out of me as they put one of the shows I like and one of the shows I’ve been looking forward to and puts them back-to-back on one of the hardest nights of television. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles returns and Joss Whedon’s new television project Dollhouse premieres… on Friday… the 13th. I’m not one to be superstitious, but this doesn’t make me very happy.

In case you haven’t noticed, television and Friday in general don’t mix. Yes, there are a few shows that have found their place in the last day of the work week (Ghost Whisperer and… um… Ghost Whisperer) but others usually struggle for ratings or are so cheap to produce that the networks aren’t concerned about what they are airing. Neither of the latter elements are the case for either Terminator or Dollhouse.

Friday has also not proven itself as a great vehicle for shows on FOX.  The Visitor, John Doe, Dark Angel (although it did get two seasons), and Joss Whedon’s Firefly were all shows that lived and subsequently died on Friday night. Part of me thinks that they have been struggling for years to try to gain back the brief success they had on Friday with The X-Files, and part of me thinks that they are just throwing whatever they can on Friday’s and they are just trying to see what sticks.

The final reason that I don’t feel good about this is that FOX hasn’t really paired Dollhouse with Terminator. They have paired Dollhouse up with two series that are playing out the final episodes of their current (or maybe final) seasons. Currently Terminator has 8 more episodes and it doesn’t look hopefull (in this writer’s opinion) that the show will get renewed for another season.  After those eight hours are up Prison Break will come back to finish up it’s final season. Why does this concern me? Both shows didn’t post strong numbers in thier fall airings and part of the success in the ratings game is the strength of a shows lead in. If FOX really had a strong desire to have Dollhouse do well it might have been better to pair it with their other new (and successful) show Fringe or give it one of the coveted post-American Idol slots.

Sure there are indicators that FOX does want to see Dollhouse succeed. The show has been heavily promoted both on television and online for what feels like half the time of forever. The show has also been included as one of the two shows chosen for the networks “Remote Free TV” concept, where they cut six minutes of advertising time and give us six more minutes of show time, for which they charge advertisers a premium on the remaining ad time available. This says that they feel something is there and they are betting on the Whedon fans to come through on ratings. I hope this all works as I’ve been a long standing Whedon fan and I want to see the show succeed.

With all that said let’s see what’s going on with this week’s television options.

MONDAY

ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: Ben tells Amy he needs space on the next The Single Life of the American Teenager. Who’d have thought teen pregnancy can put stress on a relationship?

NBC – 9:00 PM: So Heroes comes back and the producers are really hoping that a plan cash can work to make the show good again. They do know that a plane wreck doesn’t work for every show, right?

CBS – 9:30 PM: No, you didn’t lose your The Big Bang Theory. It’s just keeping the seat warm for Worst Week here at 9:30.

TUESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: After the original airing of Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown in 1975 kid’s all over the country sent a sympathy Valentine to ol’ Chuck. In today’s world they’d probably not even be troubled to text him.

G4 – 8:00 PM: G4 is switching it up 80’s style with an airing of Gremlins followed by Real Genius. Oh so tempting.

FLN – 9:00 PM: Michael Somerville tries to help the dating hopeless in the new Fine Living Network program Wingman. If I weren’t married I’m sure I’d be his greatest challenge.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: American Idol narrows it down to the top 36 finalists tonight. I have hard enough remember who is who in the top 12, these next few weeks are going to be tough.

TLC – 8:00 PM: Tonight on My Shocking Story the 55-year-old “Octoman“, who has four arms and three legs, comes out of seclusion to have his parasitic twin condition examined.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of LOST is titled This Place is Death. Based on the title and what happened last week I’m hoping for a return to the Black Rock.

THURSDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: If the buildup has been killing you than you can rest easy… Mr. Turtle returns tonight on My Name is Earl.

CBS – 8:00 PM: The castaways are back with the premiere of Survivor: Tocantins. The game begins a lot sooner when they must vote people out based on first impressions before the first challenge even starts.

SCIFI – 9:00 PM: Get your Whedon fix a day early with the Firefly movie Serenity.

FRIDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Sarah fights for her life and gets help from an unlikely source on the return of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

NBC – 8:30 PM: Tonight they are re-airing the first episode of Howie Do It. If you didn’t catch it the portion for Break In Makeover make the show worth watching.

FOX – 9:00 PM: After everything I wrote above you think I’d not put Dollhouse in the picks too?

SCIFI – 10:00 PM: The Fith Cylon is back and Anders injury last week leads to a wealth of memories on Battlestar Galactica.

SATURDAY

USA – 6:00 PM: Staying in for V-Day? How about Sweet Home Alabama followed by The Breakup?

AMC – 8:00 PM: Nothing says lovin’ like The Godfather: Part II.

OXYGEN – 8:00 PM: Some might say the ultimate stay-in date movie is Sleepless in Seattle. Who am I to argue?

SUNDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: Eleven more teams kick off The Amazing Race 14.

TBS – 8:00 PM: OK, I admit that even though I’m a guy I did enjoy Failure To Launch. I do have to wonder if it is in the Mathew McConaughey contract that he appear shirtless in just about every film.

COMEDY – 10:00 PM: Want to know where our site sponsor Omni Consumer Products Corporation‘s amazing energy drink Brawndo comes from? Catch Idiocracy tonight on Comedy Central.

Will Wilkins does not really suffer from paraskavedekatriaphobia.

February 6, 2009

Weekend Shopping Guide 2/6/09: The People In Your Neighborhood

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

There have been rather frothy retrospective celebrations of Sesame Street and Jim Henson in book form in the past, which were all well and good – as a child of the 70’s and a fan, I’m all for celebrating both. But it wasn’t until Michael Davis’s heavily-researched and completely candid Street Gang: The Complete History Of Sesame Street (Viking, $27.95 SRP) that we’ve finally gotten a full, unvarnished, unadulterated look at the people and machinations that came together to produce a landmark institution in both television and education. I really can’t recommend this book highly enough – so go get it. Now.

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If you’re like me (and you know, in your heart, you dearly want to be), then you have literally tons of old cassettes and records you’d like to import into your computer for use on various portable mixing devices. It’s often been a chore to hook up your cassette deck or turntable, particularly with the need for a pre-amp. Well, with the ION uRecord Vinyl & Cassette Ripper ($49.99), all you do is hook up your player to the device, then hook the USB cable into your computer, and rip away. It’s exceptionally easy, and a beautiful piece of electronic kit.

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If there was any doubt that Shout! Factory would stick to an aggressive release campaign for new MST collections, let it be erased by Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume X!V (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP). The latest collection again contains 4 episodes, this time stretching all the way back to season 1 and ending with the 10th and final season – Mad Monster, Manhunt In Space, Soultaker, & Final Justice. Bonus features this go round include an interview with Soultaker star Joe Estevez, an interview with Final Justice‘s Greydon Clark, the MST crew on ESPN’s Cheap Seats, the original Mad Monster trailer, and mini-posters.

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It’s been years since the release of the first season, but the patient are finally rewarded with Night Court: The Complete Second Season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). We’re still in the wilderness seasons, as we only get Public Defender Christine Sullivan (Markie Post, who comes back full-time in season 3) for one episode before we’re stuck with Billie Young (Ellen Foley). We do, however, get the introduction of loveable court Clerk Mac Robinson (Charles Robinson). The 3-disc set features all 22 episodes, but sadly no bonus materials.

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A landmark role for Peter Sellers and his last great film (sorry, Fu Manchu), Being There (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP) has been given a newly remastered special edition sporting a newly produced retrospective featurette. The way to go, though, is the Blu-Ray edition ($28.99 SRP), which contains not only the featurette, but a pair of recently discovered scenes, an alternate ending, and a gag reel.

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Overlooked in the theater during its unfortunately timed (and marketed) Halloween release, hopefully Zack & Miri Make A Porno (Genius, Rated R, DVD-$29.95 SRP) will get a second look on DVD. The flick stars Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks as the titular duo, a pair of lifelong friends and roommates at the end of their financial tether, who are prompted by an awkward high school reunion experience to seek their fortune in producing a low-budget porno. The 2-disc DVD features deleted scenes, an in-depth making-of documentary, the Money Shots webisodes that originally debuted here at Quick Stop, outtakes, and a Seth Rogan/Justin Long improv featurette. A Blu-Ray edition is also available ($34.99 SRP), with identical bonus features.

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Also getting a high definition release is Kevin Smith’s Clerks II (Genius, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$34.95 SRP). The 2-disc edition contains the same bonus features as the standard DVD release – including the truncated amount of “Train Wrecks” production diaries, which is unfortunate.

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Long under the thumb of various occupying forces, Estonia spent much of the 20th century controlled by the Soviet Union. Despite all of these various oppressive occupiers, the Estonians were able to maintain their national identity through song – a story that’s told quite well in the documentary The Singing Revolution (Docurama, Not Rated, DVD-$26.95 SRP).

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I’m still not entirely sure what the Martini Movies imprint is all about (though I know it has something to do with a game), but any excuse for a cable staple/guilty pleasure like Vibes (Sony, Rated PG, DVD-$19.94 SRP) to finally get a DVD release is fine with me. The other films getting their DVD debut include Gumshoe, Getting Straight, Five, and even Alec Guinness in Our Man In Havana (Sony, Not Rated/Rated R, $19.94 SRP each). All of the discs contain “Martini Minutes” featurettes and trailers.

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It’s a little creaky here and there, but it was certainly a treat to watch the remastered edition of Douglas Trumball’s virtual reality flick Brainstorm (Warner Bros., Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP), starring Christopher Walken, Louise Fletcher, and Natalie Wood (in her last role) as VR researchers whose grand discovery leads to an ethical morass. The sole bonus feature, sadly, is the theatrical trailer.

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Paramount has re-branded another clutch of titles under the “I Love The 80’s” banner – Top Secret!, Coming To America, Flashdance, The Naked Gun, & Cheech & Chong: Still Smokin’ (Paramount, Rated PG/PG-13/R, DVD-$14.98 SRP each). The bonus features for each are identical to their non-branded editions, with the addition of a bonus 80’s hits CD.

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Harry Anderson continued to slum it in safe sitcom hell with the second season of Dave’s World (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), playing a fake version of the real humorist Dave Barry. Not his best work. The 3-disc set features all 25 episodes.

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Through Warners’ TCM imprint, those wanting an easy to pick up primer on some legendary flicks in their Greatest Classic Films Collection releases (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$27.98 SRP each). The 2-disc sets feature 4 films apiece, packed with bonus features including audio commentaries, featurettes, trailers, and more. The Romantic Dramas collection contains East Of Eden, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, A Streetcar Named Desire, and Rebel Without A Cause. The Romantic Comedies collection contains Adam’s Rib, Woman Of The Year, The Philadelphia Story, and Bringing Up Baby. The Best Picture Winners collection contains Casablanca, Gigi, An American In Paris, and Mrs. Miniver.

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I’m not a fan of slasher flicks, but I’m sure fans will be delighted that the by-all-appearances naff remake has at least spurred Paramount to release new special editions of the first three – Friday the 13th, Friday The 13th: Part 2, & Friday The 13th: Part 3 (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$16.99 SRP each). The first film features an expanded cut, plus audio commentary, featurettes, and a trailer. The second film also sports some featurettes and the trailer, while the 3rd film features the 3-D version as well. The original film is also being released in Blu-Ray ($29.99 SRP) with identical bonus features, except in high definition.

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Explore the cinematic history of that awful day on the calendar and the hockey mask-wearing killer behind all the mayhem in the documentary His Name Was Jason (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$19.97 SRP), which takes an in-depth look at the Friday The 13th film franchise. The 2-disc set features additional interviews, featurettes, Comic-Con footage, and more.

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Outside of House, you’d be hard pressed to find a more bad-tempered doctor than Ted Danson’s Becker (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP), whose second season makes its DVD debut. The set features all 24 episodes.

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Things were stretching a bit thin by the time you get to the seventh season of Bewitched (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP) – and not just because Dick Sargent is still the poor man’s Darrin. No, the storylines just got more and more tired, punctuated only by the appearance of Agnes Morehead as mother-in-law Endora. Bonus features include the original Elizabeth Montgomery opening and closing of the Christmas episode.

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Things had begun to get nice and developmentally awkward by the time the fourth and final season came along, so it was probably best that The Partridge Family (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) ended when it did. When you get around to the episode on conservation, it’s probably time to unplug the guitar and put the kit away. The 3-disc set features all 22 episodes.

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Talking dogs. In space. That is Space Buddies (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP) in a nutshell. I’m really not sure you need to know any more than that. Bonus features include a music video, bloopers, and more.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Trailer Park: HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and CHOCOLATE – Reviewed

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

And now, you can follow me on Twitter. Find me here, my oh so original name on the thing is Stipp so come on and follow my stray ramblings.

Before I turn you loose into Review City I was asked once again to be a part of the podcast over at Screen Geeks. I was there talking about some recent films and what was really the best to come out of last year. If you have some time, please check it out, download it, stream it. I am always flattered to be asked to be on that program and I am sure some day they will figure out how much of a fraud I am. Until that comes, please enjoy my nasally stylings.

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CHOCOLATE – Review

A lot of this film is very meta.

What I have come to enjoy out of Tony Jaa films is his rubbery technique when it comes to inventive ways of kicking someone’s head in or how he is able to make his films watchable no matter how preposterous the plot. And, really, these films are not based on their depth so we’ve all bought into the idea that these films are more about the art of action than they are the art of dialog. This is important to realize as you watch CHOCOLATE, the latest from director Prachya Pinkaew and newcomer JeeJa Yanin.

Apart from the amazing tale, if it is to be believed, that JeeJa gave up five years of her life preparing for this role this film is going to be the one movie that heralds a new standard in action films for 2009. Note well that I am not calling this film an action masterpiece but what I can say is that it is head and shoulders above any soft or weak action movie that has been put out there this year. JeeJa, playing the part of an autistic girl, Zen, who is weaned on action movies (Tony Jaa, natch) and chocolate (don’t over think the why) is arresting as a woman who paints the world in her own shades of colors. She lives in her own mental world and it is absolutely lays the logical foundation as to why she does what she does. An aside: her mother needs help with some medical treatment and the girl plays the part of bill collector as she collects on money owed the family. It’s so convenient but who cares, really?

The meta of this film is that this is directed by Tony Jaa’s ONG BAK director, Pinkaew, and Zen’s own style of combat comes out of her consumption of Jaa’s films. This whole movie almost feels like a sequel to a Jaa film that everyone might say they’ve seen but this is completely original in the way it executes its action.

The action moves are wonderfully captured on the screen while the physical odds and ends and detritus that all needed to be in place for these fight sequences to go off, not to mention exact placement of human beings in order to make all of these things happen, is impressive when you consider all the time it takes to get it right.

I almost feel bad reviewing this film in a conventional sense in that this is not a film that can be “reviewed” in the usual sense as this movie is completely deserving of kudos and accolades on its technical prowess. Much in the same way that RUMBLE IN THE BRONX showed us exactly what we were going to get out of Jackie Chan, someone needs to apologize for all the RUSH HOURs, this is a demo reel of King Kong-ian proportions for what we can expect from JeeJa. As she was careening off the bodies of potential bringers of pain, inflicting physical abuse that even made me wince at times, comes to a head to a climatic scene with a cast of dozens that has to be seen to be believed. I am completely self-aware of this comment but I have to make it: Action never tasted so sweet as it does at the hands of JeeJa Yanin.

I cannot recommend this movie enough as a winter season treat so I hope that you catch this either theatrtically or when it comes out on VOD or Blu-Ray on February 10th.

HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU – Review

I am a fan of romantic comedies.

Much like some young men who fancy films with superheroes, explosions and bright lights, as I still do, I also have an affinity for well-crafted films that try and contain the very thing that drives almost every person whether they want to be cognizant of it or not: love.

It’s a rough thing to try and be faithful to the feeling we get when we meet someone, are pursuing someone and what’s it’s like to finally be with that someone but there are those who are able to get it right. Look at Cameron Crowe’s SINGLES, a movie that melded humor with the suffering tribulations of a pack of people who just want love and to be loved. It’s still a benchmark I judge a lot of other films by when a movie wants to go down that road of mainstream treatise on the commonality of love. SAY ANYTHING, as well, shows how adept he was in taking a lot of that comedy out and laying bare the quietness of people looking to find something special.

The problem with Ken Kwapis’ HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, then, isn’t that there is a lack of understanding of why this genre exists it is the not so great material, the execution of said material and its shallowness/one-sidedness of most the cast that ensures this will not be allowed into the pantheon of good romantic comedies. And, as an aside, this film shares more with tragedy than it does hilarity so if you’re wondering whether there will be yuks and chuckles peppered throughout this film you will be sadly and horrifically surprised at the infidelity, cheating, lying, mean spiritedness and overall dour sheen of the film.

For those unfamiliar with the plot here is the official synopsis: An all-star cast is featured in the stories of a group of interconnected, Baltimore-based twenty- and thirtysomethings as they navigate their various relationships from the shallow end of the dating pool through the deep, murky waters of married life. Trying to read the signs of the opposite sex, each hopes to be the exception to the “no exceptions” rule.

One of the first problems with the film, from its printed promotion to its trailer, is that it’s trying to sell you on the idea that this is going to be an amusing romp into some soft territory. What I take issue with is that this movie is confused. It doesn’t know what it wants to be. Apart from Ken’s serviceable directing is his ineffectualness in getting anything compelling out of this material or its players. To put it in terms many would be able and understand this movie reads like a Robert Altman feature without the depth of its characters and feels like a bad Thirtysomething episode, its players looking fresh off the runways of Milan and completely unbelievable as forlorn romantics. What’s more is that the movie tries to shoehorn short scenes with actors who have nothing to do with the film’s content to try and talk amusingly about the pitfalls of love gone bad. These mini “interviews” feel disingenuous when you try and marry them to the movie’s overall story.

And the stories! This movie spins yarns on top of sticks like plates, trying to keep them all going, and here is a run down of what each has to do with the other:

Jennifer Connelly: Your everywoman. She seems nice enough in her role as a wife who is in the middle of renovating her home (metaphor alert!) but is having issues with her lying husband.

Bradley Cooper: Connelly’s lying, cheating husband. He wants to get it on like Donkey Kong with Scarlett Johansson, an aspiring singer (thankfully, we’re not abused with her vocal talents) who pursues Bradley even after she realizes he’s married and is shocked and dejected when he doesn’t leave his wife for her.

Scarlett Johansson: She plays a shallow tramp of a woman. She’s leading Kevin Connelly on as a sorta, kinda girlfriend.

Kevin Connelly: Perhaps one of the best things about the film. He’s a guy just looking to make his way through life, trying to balance his professional and personal life. Goes on a date with Ginnifer Goodwin and doesn’t call her.

Ginnifer Goodwin: The emotional tractor beam of low self-esteem in this movie. She depends on other people for her happiness for 90% of this movie and only, by the end, does she realize only she can make her own happiness. What a shock.

Justin Long: Friend of both Kevin and personal mentor to Ginnifer of all the ways men like to treat women badly. If you’ve ever seen a film like this you’ll know how this will end and it does it miserably.

Jennifer Aniston: Common law girlfriend to Ben Affleck of 7 years and conveniently decides in a timely fashion that, no, even though the two of them agreed not to get married ever, she does want to get married. She dumps him.

Ben Affleck: A man who starts out being confident and emotionally stable ends up neutered by the end. That’s all you need to know.

Drew Barrymore: A vortex of pathetic. From using MySpace to get a date (you can tell by this how old the film has been sitting on the shelf by how much this site gets mentioned. I’m surprised no one name drops Pets.com) to being a genuinely bad at gaging how regular people are supposed to fall in love.

As you read the above I can tell you that this represents the major problem I had with this film: these characters are not believable, single-sided and they’re wickedly miserable. If I wanted misery I would just look at the relationships of people around me; I don’t go to the films to be reminded of the misery that real life doles out in ladles on a daily basis. The movie plods along, weighed down by its own moroseness, and once it thinks it wants to end things it can’t do it without seeming incredibly disingenuous.

I can’t give away how all of this plays out but this is honestly a sad film. I can’t lay too much blame at Ken’s feet for a middling movie but the screenwriters managed to miss or intentionally ignore the reason why there could have been a great opportunity to make a movie where there was genuine comedy and genuine heartache. As it stands, this film wants to tell a couple of handfuls’ worth of stories and can’t keep them all going.

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #81: Sing A Song Of Songsmith

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:59 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #81: Sing A Song Of Songsmith – Ken & Dana return with a cast that devolves quickly when Dana reveals his head over heels adoration for a certain company’s abominable song construction software, which leads to much pain and a listener challenge.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #81 (MP3 format)

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SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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February 4, 2009

Cabin Fever #55: Therapy?

Filed under: Cabin Fever — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:47 am

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cabin.jpgOh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent 😉

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

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CABIN FEVER #55: Therapy? – Our Cabin Dwellers grow more and more frustrated with their shoddy equipment and are forced to record under less than stellar circumstances. The stress and strain of the situation makes Aaron break down and spill about his first fight, his schoolboy crushes, and his mood swings, all under the watchful eye of Dr. Phit. Music is provided by Fake Like Me.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #55 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/cabinfever/cabin_fever_55.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

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Toy Box: Fantasy Figure Gallery Akira

Filed under: Toy Box — Tags: , — admin @ 1:46 am

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Americans like their polystone statues. Or resin. Something with some heft and weight, something you could kill an intruder with if your .357 isn’t handy. Something that makes you feel like you got more than just a geek-on for that insane amount of money you just spent.

But Asian companies, like Kotobukiya and Yamato, have made a name for themselves worled wide producing their high end collectibles in lighter weight (and usually cheaper) materials like PVC. I have quite a few in my collection, and feel the quality is excellent for the price.

Yamato has a new series starting called their Fantasy Figure Gallery. I’ll let them explain it to you:
“The Fantasy Figure Gallery is a groundbreaking union of East and West as the leading sculptors of Asia deliver the worlds of legendary fantasy artists from Europe and the Americas as only they are capable.”

The first statue in this series is of Akira, based on the work of renowned artist Dorian Cleavenger and sculpted by Plant-jzero Moekichi. Akira is constructed of over 100 individual pieces and features over 400 paint applications, twice the conventional statue. Thankfully however, you don’t have to put the 100 pieces together, only seven. You attach the ornaments to the side of her head, as well as one on the side of her left leg, put the two pieces of the staff together, and attach her to the base. Voila!

If you have any questions or comments, please drop me a line at mwc@mwctoys.com, or head over to my collectibles review site at Michael’s Review of the Week – Captain Toy for more reviews like this.

Fantasy Figure Gallery Akira

As I mentioned Akira is the first in this series. The second is Medusa’s Gaze, based on the work of Luis Royo, and others will follow. Akira has an SRP of $98, but you can find her online much lower than that, and I have a number of suggestions at the end of the review in the ‘where to buy’ section.

There’s also a limited edition “ivory” version of this statue that looks very interesting. It’s limited to just 300 produced, and has the same SRP as this version. You can pick it up directly from Yamato in their store.

Packaging – ***
It’s a large window box, that shows off the statue pretty well, and doesn’t waste too much space considering the size of the various pieces. It’s tough to show off a statue well when it comes disassembled like this, but they do a reasonably good job.

I also like the blue color and soft, feminine graphics. They give the impression of beauty and art, just what Yamato is trying to get across with this series.

The package is also collector friendly, if you decide to disassemble your statue later. It’s not hard to do – none of the pieces snap permanently together – and storage is safer in the original box.

Sculpting – ****
Yamato likes to say that she’s a ‘mona lisa’, and while she’s quite nice, I’m not sure I’d go quite THAT far.

She has a beautiful sculpt, with soft curves and gorgeous detailing on the armor and staff. Like all Yamato statues, she’s voluptous and yet innocent in a strange way. The facial expression and sculpt almost have that southern charm to them, sort of like she’s saying “oh maay, maay…did I drop maay little ol’ robe?” The seductive/sweet expression is offset by the sharper, more defined sculpting of the armor and ornaments, giving the statue a nice contrast and realism.

The statue is fairly large, with her standing about 10.5″ tall, and the overall statue with the base and staff at about 15″. That puts her between 1/7th and 1/8th scale, depending on how tall you think Akira should be. Yep, she’s too small to go with your sixth scale figures or even most of the Kotobukiya statues, but she’s still quite impressive on the shelf.

By the way, yes, she’s fairly nekkid. There’s nothing really covering her breasts, although the robe and staff hide any possible nipple action. In fact, the left breast lacks any sort of nipple because of the staff, and there is a groove sculpted on her breast, stomach and right arm to accomodate it.

The pelvic armor only covers the front half of her crotch. The only thing holding it in place is some strong glue and your lack of imagination.

Paint – ****
A great sculpt can be ruined by bad paint, and a mediocre sculpt can be brought to new heights with great paint. Since we were starting with a great sculpt, it needed great paint to show it off, and Yamato pulled it off.

The skin has that slightly translucent quality to it, created by casting the plastic in a flesh tone, but doing it in a way that makes it appear as though there is a thin later of ‘skin’ over top. It’s hard to describe, but it certainly gives their ladies a soft, appealing, natural skin tone.

The small detail work on areas like the eyes, lips or armor is extremely clean, and there are a ton of paint operations here. In recent months, we’ve seen the paint on both low cost mass market and high end specialty market items drop considerably, as manufacturers try to find last minute ways to cut costs and improve profits. It’s nice to have a statue where it’s clear that there was no cost cutting on the paint operations, where the number and quality are both extremely high.

Design – ***1/2
I love the overall look of this statue, particularly the way the head of the staff and her headdress both flow, giving her a dynamic and deadly appearance, even in a static pose.

I did have some minor issues with getting the feet attached to the base. The fit was a bit rough, and it never did quite line up flush. You may find that you need to prune the plugs to get the kind of seamless look that you’lle expect with a high end statue.

On a purely artistic note, I would have also preferred if the staff wasn’t pressed so deeply up against her right breast. It looks fairly…uncomfortable to me. This is more of an aesthetic issue though, so your mileage may vary quite a bit.

Value – ***
You can find this guy for no more than $90, and even closer to $80 with a little looking around. Hey, I have some excellent suggestions just below! Considering the quality of the work, as well as the size of the statue, that’s a slightly better than average value right now.

Things to Watch Out for –
Make sure you pay attention to how the pegs attach on each of her extra pieces. Take your time with the staff as well, since it’s very thin and could break with too much pressure.

Overall – ***1/2
I’m not one to usually go in for the nekkid chick statues, but I have to admit that this one is mighty fine looking. Fans of Akira should be pleased, and the sculpting, paint and quality are all top line. If your sensibilities run more Amish than freakish, then it’s probably not for you, but the human form as art has been a long standing tradition. Slap on some cool, strategically placed armor and it just gets better!

Score Recap –
Packaging – ***
Sculpting – ***1/2
Paint – ****
Design – ***1/2
Value – ***
Overall – ***1/2

Where to Buy –
While her SRP is close to $100, you can actually find her at a number of retailers below that:

Urban Collector has her at just $82.

Circle Red has it for $90.

Entertainment Earth has her at $90.

– Sidehow is carrying the regular and ivory editons. This special ivory version is limited to just 300!

– or you can get her directly from Yamato USA for $98. They also have the limited edition of the “ivory” version. Just search for “akira”.

Contest Round-Up: ZACK & MIRI, CORALINE, & THE SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALLS

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:41 am

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Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with HarperFestival, we’re giving away ten (10) copies of Neil Gaiman’s CORALINE.

In conjunction with William Morrow, we’re giving away five (5) copies of CORALINE: A VISUAL COMPANION.

In conjunction with Genius Home Video, we’re giving away one (1) copy of ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO on DVD.

In conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of THE SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALLS on DVD.

Win THE SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALLS on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:37 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, two (2) copy of THE SECRET POLICEMAN’S BALLS on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:37 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with Genius Home Video, one (1) copy of ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win CORALINE: A VISUAL COMPANION!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:37 am

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We’re giving away, in conjunction with William Morrow, five (5) copies of CORALINE: A VISUAL COMPANION.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win Neil Gaiman’s CORALINE!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:36 am

contestheader.jpg

We’re giving away, in conjunction with HarperFestival, ten (10) copies of Neil Gaiman’s CORALINE.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, February 25th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

February 3, 2009

SModcast 75

Filed under: SModcast — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:55 am

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Your TextSModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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SModcast 75: Seeing Stars with Malcolm Ingram –

In which our heroes bicker like an old married couple and speculate about Oscar gold.

[CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
SModcast 75 (MP3 format) – 74.96 MB

[display_podcast]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes
Subscribe to this Podcast via FeedBurner

Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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Masters Of Song Fu #3: Round 1 Challengers and Challenge Revealed

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We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors will now be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

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MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

songfu-innes.jpgIf you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.egowarriors.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes

PAUL & STORM

songfu-02.jpgPaul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm

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In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

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THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

songfu-jeffmcdougall.jpgJeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com

JASON MORRIS

songfu-jasonmorris.jpgI suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.com

EDRIC HALEEN

songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com

INSANE IAN

songfu-ianbonds.jpgInsane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer  .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html

MICK BORDET

songfu-mickbordet.jpgMick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com

CHARLIE WOLF

Charlie Wolf has always been much better at writing songs than at writing third-person biographies about himself. While still a teenager, Charlie Wolf is already an accomplished ‘multi-instrumentalist’, playing guitar, bass, accordion, and keyboards. In the past year or so, Charlie has began playing private parties and coffee-house gigs in the Los Angeles area, which sounds way more interesting than it actually is. His music ranges from hilarious comedy songs to tender ballads, and more often than not, somewhere in between. He would like to thank the academy, but cannot, because he does not know where the academy is or how they would like to be thanked.

Official Website: www.gypsypunk.net/cw/

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

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Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com

SHANE PETERSON

Name’s Shane Peterson. Live in Red Hook, NY. 21 years of age. Alleged film and music guru. Intrepid traveller breaking the walls of perception, riding the infinite wave…

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Official Website: None

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson once pulled a toenail during load in, later “nailing” the gig in front of an ex. Saving the phalangial flotsam for conversion into a guitar pick may seem a macabre jest; but does it indicate vileness, or merely a haunting dedication to her craft?  Playing the piano like a dark pink freight train on a cloud, she’ll indulge diverse requests from Brahms to Nintendo themes. Denise was nourished by an intellectually wealthy family. She once acquired a flautist from a nearby Mexican restaurant to perform “mythical” elfin soliloquies for a be-stricken audience. UT Austin music school honed sticks, skins and sleeplessness skills; but you can’t edju-ma-cate the blues.  She taught herself guitar, and her unusually skilled brother claims she “taught him to play drums.” Denise performed on his and others’ albums, in various duos, stupid hats, cover acts, and in a noteworthy “Texas blues folk rock band with creative lyrical twists & an (occasionally) naked lead guitarist.” A traveler, a poet, and sub-par housekeeper, Denise will continue churning out controversial family favorites in her awesome new home studio in 2009.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net

JUTZE SCHULT

songfu-jutzeschult.jpgJohannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009.

Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Thursday, February 12th, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s how some other artists tackled happy songs…
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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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February 2, 2009

Support Our Sponsor – Makers of BRAWNDO Energy Drink & SEX PANTHER cologne!

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:49 am

Please welcome our new Quick Stop sponsor, Omni Consumer Products (www.omnimerch.com) – makers of BRAWNDO energy drink (www.brawndo.com) & SEX PANTHER cologne (www.sex-panther.com).

Omni Consumer Products is a product development company located in the San Francisco Bay Area, with a focus on licensing, defictionalization, and reverse-branding. You might recognize BRAWNDO as the energy drink featured in Mike Judge’s IDIOCRACY, and SEX PANTHER as the manly cologne featured in Will Ferrell’s ANCHORMAN. Once nothing more than fictional products, Omni has made them real.

Please show ’em all the support you can, and let ’em know we sent ya…

sponsor

TV Or Not TV: 2/2 – 2/8

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: — admin @ 4:46 am

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Welcome back to TV or Not TV where I didn’t actually watch the Big Game.

Please, don’t call me un-American. Somehow I never got in to sports. I don’t know how it happened with an entire family of guys that follow sports, but somehow it just never took hold. I’m sure that some of it comes from having no natural athletic ability and too much of a fascination with computers at too young of an age. Whatever the reason I just didn’t tune in.

Don’t let that make you think that I didn’t have anything to do during the Big Game today. Like any movie loving, television addicted guy I went out of my way today to get a pair of Intel sponsored 3-D glasses just to watch 90 seconds of commercials (wow, that really comes off a little bit sad now that I read it). I’ve also been a sucker for the concept of 3-D entertainment, and thankfully the glasses have never bothered me, so when I learned about these commercials I made sure that I watched the clock while doing the yard work to ensure that I would catch them.

In case you missed what I’m talking about, the movie Aliens vs. Monsters by Dreamworks had a special 3-D commercial (with co-sponsors SoBe and NBC) because the movie itself will also be in 3-D. After seeing the commercial while wearing the glasses I’m not sure I’m sold on the concept, especially since within the first 5 seconds of the commercial we were handed a horrible example of 3-D. A character is hitting a paddle ball in our direction and this thing just look like a red ball with an evil blue twin floating off to the side. I don’t know how much the movie itself will have cost to make, but I’m sure the SoBe commercial afterward was a fraction of the cost and it pulled of the 3-D effect a lot better. I’m sure somewhere right now the execs at DreamWorks aren’t very happy they were outdone by dancing football players and lizards.

If you didn’t watch the big game but are a fan of The Office than I’m sure you were aware that they were doing a special hour long episode immediately after. This was something I was dreading since last season’s hour long episodes almost always felt like they were painfully stretched out. I really want, with every fiber of my being, to tell you that I didn’t get the same feeling with this episode. Sadly I did. Please don’t take that as me saying that the episode didn’t entertain me. The painful insertion of the movie staring Jack Black, Chloris Leachman, and Jessica Alba felt more like they tried to shoehorn a webisode in to the episode. Thankfully the memory of Dwight wearing the freshly removed face of a CPR doll got me through those parts.

Enough about the Big Game and it’s afterlings. There’s a big week ahead of us with the return of a lot of shows on NBC. Chuck, Heroes and Medium return on Monday.  I’m really hoping that Heroes is able to turn things around because if they can’t they are going to become some bad meat stuck between two great slices of bread. Life returns on Wednesday. All good reasons to tune in to the Peacock. Wait, why am I telling you this here? Let’s get on with it!

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: The 3-D fun from the Big Game continues tonight with a 3-D episode of Chuck. I’m hoping it’s not 3-Dreadful. LOST fans can find Dominic Monaghan playing another rock and roll star tonight, so that should be reason enough to endure those whacky glasses.

CBS – 8:30 PM: Robin is facing deportation without work so she actually let’s Barney help out with a video resume. Might this mark the return of Robin Sparkles? We can only hope.

SPIKE – 9:00 PM: Some comedies for me transcend time and just hold up. Stripes is one of those movies. Three words people: Aunt Jemima Treatment.

FOX – 9:00 PM: After the past few seasons I really didn’t think 24 held much hope for me. Man was I wrong. Sure this year’s plot seems a little lifted from Live Free or Die Hard but it is working for me.

TUESDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Let me get you caught up on The Biggest Loser: Couples. For 30 days they sent 1/2 of all but two of the couples home. This week they are back and they are getting weighed in. Let’s just say some of the numbers these people put up aren’t going to inspire.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Someone must be serving up freshly mixed crazy in the Scrubs writer’s room. In the first ep they have Dr. Cox actually reaching out to Dr. Kelso for (dare I say it) guidance. In the second half hour the devoid of joy Ted goes on a real date with a real girl. What’s next, the Janitor and JD having a bromance?!?

WEDNESDAY

NBC – 9:00 PM: LIFE is back tonight and we may or may not get to know who shot Charlie Crews. This show is good so really, give it a chance.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight on LOST we see Kate put her mean momma smack down on and I hear we may finally find out something about Jin.  Do you really need a reason to watch after last week?

THURSDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Back in the first season of Bones we were introduced to The Gravedigger. This guy kidnaps, buries the abducted with enough air for 24 hours, and will reveal the location if you pay up. Looks like Boothe is getting buried tonight.

CW – 8:00 PM: If you pay attention to the previews than it looks like Lex is doing his best Jigsaw impersonation on tonight’s Smallville. Don’t go looking for Michael Rosenbaum though as this Lex has a very obstructed face.

FRIDAY

HBO – 8:00 PM: This season of Big Love has impressed me more than last season and you can catch the firth three episodes tonight to get all caught up.

SCIFI – 10:00 PM: So last week I didn’t write about Battlestar Galactica and boy did the $h1t hit the fan! Needless to say tune in tonight to what a friend recently described as “the best soap opera for guys on TV.”

SATURDAY

ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: Last week I admitted I love Happy Gilmore. This week it plays back to back with the other Adam Sandler film that I really enjoyed: The Wedding Singer.

COMEDY CENTRAL – 9:00 PM: After falling in love with Broken Lizard’s Super Troopers I’ve really wanted to love their follow-up films, including Beerfest. I mean I really really wanted to love it. Really.

SUNDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: The awards show season continues with The 51st Annual Grammy Awards. See live performances from all of the latest, hardly any of the greatest.

HISTORY – 9:00 PM: Four hours of Monster Quest takes us through Mutant Canines, Lions in the Backyard, Death of Lochness and Jaws in Illinois.

FOX REALITY – 8:00 PM: Four hours of the Solitary 3.0. Hopefully you won’t be sitting alone in your room watching people alone in their rooms.

Will Wilkins clearly shook off the feelings of being a corporate shill.

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