Tag: salvation

TERMINATOR: STARVATION

The year is 2018. Skynet has risen and the few humans left (Terminator: Salvation makes it seem that there are only a handful of humans remaining) are trying to win the war against the machines. This is a few years before John Conner (Christian Bale) will acquire his legendary status and he comes across a new kind of enemy. Unfortunately, this is not the core of the film. Conner doesn’t even seem to be the primary character. Mostly, we follow Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), an apparently resurrected man who was lethally injected after serving time on death row in 2003 (For a crime that is never explained). He awakens fifteen years later, having not aged a minute, and befriends a young Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin), the future father of John Conner. Reese is soon kidnapped by the machines and Conner is forced to trust Wright in rescuing his dad.

I tried to find a way to eloquently put into words the way I feel about this film and the following is what I came up with. Enjoy.

Oh, Terminator: Salvation
When you were announced, it scared me
There was no cause for celebration
And you were going to be directed by McG

But my interest was ignited
With the casting of Christian Bale
And I will admit that I got excited
When the trailer was unveiled

So when the lights went down
My eyes lit up
But what I actually found
Was that you really did suck

The story was bland
Common sense you were ignoring
The acting was far from grand
In fact, it was quite boring

You took away the depth
The legend you have devoured
Maybe you could have saved yourself
But you didn’t utilize Bryce Dallas Howard

So when they captured Kyle Reese
Why hasn’t he died yet?
With that single little piece
It would  be victory for Skynet

You tried to be clever
But smart you were not
With in-jokes during the bad weather
But unintentional laughs were all you got

But I have to say
There are a couple reasons why I would recommend it
At the end of the day
The cinematography was absolutely splendid

And I also cannot lie
I may give it another visit
Because I won’t even try
To say the action scenes were not exquisite

But that wasn’t enough
At least not for me
I had to deal with enough stuff
While watching Terminator 3

Go ahead McG, ask the main man
You know this is not what Cameron intended
Obviously, I’m not a fan
But at least Michael Ironside was in it

So I’m quite disappointed with you
I wish I could keep our relationship intact
But if Terminator Salvation is the best you can do
Please, I beg you, don’t come back

VROOOM!

*MINOR SPOILER TO FOLLOW*
So that is my review, but there is one more thing I would like to comment on. In the last bit of the film, a T-800 arrives. A real T-800, with the face of Arnold Schwarzenegger. It doesn’t 100% work, but it’s pretty damn close. I’m not sure of the specifics of how they did this (apparently they CGI’d Arnold’s face onto someone else’s body), but I think it’s a great achievement. It leads me to wonder how close we are to being able to do this on a consistent basis. How many actors will we be able to replicate? I’m not saying that computer graphics will overtake actors anytime in the future. We still need the personal connections to a role, the emotions, and so forth, but if someone were to use this in a different way, what could happen? Is it possible that we will sit in a theater one day and see Jimmy Stewart chasing Tom Cruise? Or maybe Cary Grant investigating George Clooney? The possibilities would be literally endless. I’m extremely interested to see where this goes.

-Jesse Rivers would love to see a Jackie Chan/Ingrid Bergman movie.

And, as always, check out Bagged and Boarded.