By Christopher Stipp
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I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight”right HERE for free.
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CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC – REVIEW
For anyone wanting to know the bottom line on this film here, verbatim, are the notes I sent to the studio rep about the movie:
“I thought the movie was formulaic, the writing was pretty weak and a little derivative but I thought Isla Fisher was positively effervescent and bubbly. She performed well in the role that she was given with other standouts being Krysten Ritter, who does Winona Ryder better than Winona Ryder, and Fred Armisen who I wished was given more to do. Overall, a movie that will positively work well with women who will gravitate towards the female-friendly material.”
Those still sticking around to read my additional thoughts on the movie I have to start by saying producer Jerry Bruckheimer was brilliant, getting in on this action. A man who usually has more to do with guns and bombs than he does with pantyhose and bombshells obviously saw something worth producing in a movie that is insipidly simple in its construction and wretchedly executed from the standpoint that there is no thinking involved at all by those in attendance. He saw, or at least I think he did, that there was a story that a large swath of the population not usually served by his usual fare deserved to hear because of what’s popular right now in our female society’s zeitgeist. It’s not a polemic on Middle Eastern relations, it’s a treatise on how one broke woman deals with shopping a lot, wants to write for a fashion magazine and then ends up falling in love.
That’s it. There’s nothing else you need to know about the film because it’s all filler and fodder to push along the 3 basic tenants of debt, shopping and fictionalized love. Isla Fisher, who plays Rebecca Bloomwood, absolutely shines in a role that requires nothing more than to be endearing, funny and charming. And she does it especially well when you consider how painful some other actresses have tried to pull this off in the pantheon of vapid female romantic comedy leads. Isla is a delight every single time she is on the screen and what’s impressive is that she was able to be compelling in her turn as a down-on-her-luck (self-inflicted down-on-her-luck, natch) writer who yearns to be part of the fashion world by writing for a prestigious magazine dedicated to all things glamorous. Her best friend, Suze (Krysten Ritter), is amazing insofar that, like I mentioned, oozes Wynona Rider all over her face but she manages to radiate the kind of peace and love that even Ringo Starr wouldn’t be able to resist autographing; she’s a delight.
After a series of wacky coincidences and unbelievable opportunities that defy any sense of logic, she becomes a lightning rod of attention for a staid and stuffy financial publication by writing a female-centric column focused on dumbing down complex issues dealing with money in a cheeky fashion. Her editor, Luke Brandon (played by the affable and likable Hugh Dancy), takes a fancy to this young wordsmith and the two end up playing the hackneyed game of girl likes boy, boy likes someone else, boy ends up liking girl.
Apart from these written elements there is an inordinate amount of slapstick. From fighting over boots at an exclusive sale of couture clothing to Isla actually putting palm to face of a foreigner from Finland at a cocktail party there is more to keep the ladies laughing from start to finish. And that’s the other thing. The movie appeals to women for reasons that should be abundantly clear when you understand that this movie is not predicated on looking at love from the perspective of that other fashion-centric movie, SEX AND THE CITY, as if you were to compare the two SEX would be considered an introverted examination of amour, this film just wants to be easy breezy.
There is a sub-plot of Isla dealing with a hard-nosed debt collector throughout the film as she avoids his calls, his visits and, ultimately, the fallout was a pleasant diversion that actually pays off at a pivotal moment in the film and there’s no denying that all the roles that are on the screen are used to their greatest potential. It’s not to say that all the performances are great or particularly pleasant, I wish there was more done with Fred Armisen who turns in a sublime and comical performance as Dancy’s boss, but there isn’t any long, drawn out moments that can at times disrupt the quick flow to these comedies.
In sum, this isn’t a movie I will ever purchase or pay to see again. I think the strongest comment I can make is that it’s a pleasant diversion to some of the fare out there that this could have been a lot worse if not for Isla Fisher. Fisher is the reason why this movie excels and you cannot help but notice that she is a comedic talent who actually manages to delight.
FRIDAY THE 13TH – REVIEW
I’m not one to begin with a quote so I apologize in advance. It’s gauche, I know that, I hate it when I see it in other publications, but it’s completely appropriate and relevant to what follows. It comes from SUMMER SCHOOL:
Dave: Have you seen the movie, Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Anna-Maria: No. It is good?
Dave: Oh, I’ve got to tell you, I love this film. It had passion and a plucky spirit. And, the characters had integrity, like when Leatherface went on that strict diet of human flesh, he had to cut out chicken and fish completely.
Francis “Chainsaw” Grimp: Dave, I agree with you. I’ll go a step further, sure Leatherface, he wore a mask made out of human skin, and he hung people on meat-hooks, but hey, we’ve all got quirks, I got ’em, you’ve got ’em Dave, that’s what makes this character so, so compelling. Thumbs up for me.
Thumbs up, indeed.
FRIDAY THE 13th absolutely deserves to be hugged and coddled by those wanting to go back to the days when horror meant killing, horror meant sparking up a spliff and getting nuts with your lady friend and when horror meant Jason was actually menacing.
One thing that Marcus Nispel deserves credit for as director on this film is knowing what this property used to mean to those who were weaned on a hearty diet of straight-forward hack/slash films in the 80’s and why it was absolutely time to deconstruct the deconstructors that brought us the SCREAM franchise. Damian Shannon and Mark Swift as writers deserve equal credit for making a movie that walks that fine line of knowing what makes good horror good and bad horror, well, unwatchable. One of the biggest compliments you can give a movie like this, then, is that it managed to actually thrill and excite without it ever feeling goofy or having too high a polish.
When you look at the pretty teen entries in the 90’s (I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, SCREAM, FINAL DESTINATION, HALLOWEEN H20, et al.) the clean and clear cinematography put a polish on things stuck out a frayed thread that you wish you could just unravel. These movies are supposed to be gritty, overexposed at times, dirty. Now, while Marcus’ previous reboot of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE wasn’t deserving of any great praise overall he at least got the atmosphere right. And he gets it right in this film.
From the start we push right through some of the basic tenants of what made Jason, well, Jason. He sees his mom beheaded from afar in a flashback sequence, drenched in blackness and rain, which takes all of 5 minutes. Whereas some would love to dwell on this moment Marcus and Co. just plow through this information and you can feel this is a story that is going to move at a quick clip. When we get into the actual narrative we’re led to believe that a pack of kids who are off wandering around, backpacks in tow, looking for a stash of marijuana that has been planted somewhere deep in the recesses of tall grass, tall trees, far away from humanity, the backwoods. It’s effective in setting up of how distant all these events are taking place, how susceptible they are to the natural environs or any other danger that will fall upon them. Cell phones don’t work here either, natch.
The first pre-act, an extended moment really, of the kids looking for a plantation full of weed takes up a solid 15 minutes and is really a definitive look at how the rest of the film will unfold. We’ve got ourselves a story that knows how to pace itself, how to generate good tension with its characters as we all wait for the killing to go full throttle and how to execute its executions.
I have to hand it to the filmmakers in that they’ve properly figured out the proportions of sex, drugs and violence. The first two kind of take care of themselves, I think Jeffrey Wells won’t want for pictures of these ladies, but the latter was done with a little creativity. It’s hard not to be able and spoil things with descriptions of how there were some quality kills at the outset but it is sufficient to explain that there are messy ways to go here; America Olivio and Jonathan Sadowski both deserve a golf clap for setting things off in the right manner and it’s absolutely terrifying to see Jason have a spring in his step as the conversation, come Monday, will probably revolve around slow lumbering Jason versus Olympic sprinter Jason. I like the fast moving one because you can really feel the physics behind every machete hack and every ax toss.
As we settle into the story proper I was struck by the pacing. Whereas in the other entries you had Jason mostly attacking people in the night (there are exceptions to this) Jason is not relegated to being the boogie man who only strikes at night. As judged by the preview you do have Jason coming out to terrorize some young swimmer and this only enhances the experience in that you are left to wonder where and when he might strike.
The main players in this feature, Jared Padalecki (playing Clay Miller) and Danielle Panabaker (playing Jenna) were solid entries as the focus of this film. The two of them are relatively unknowns, most everyone in this film are unknowns, and again this only enhances the experience as you subconsciously are left wondering who is going to be spared and who’s going to die next. Thankfully this movie doesn’t play favorites and this is, perhaps, the film’s greatest advantage. Whereas other films in the 90’s played with young actors on the bubble you had some good beads on who was going to live and who was not. For the most part, this film keeps it all going as we traipse from one kill to another.
However, I will mention that the Jason Lair is a little goofy and idiotic. Its presence was the one thing that kept this film from being absolutely great and took me out of the 3rd act somewhat. This area seemed awfully well-constructed, not to mention well-lit, for a man who is supposed to be a mentally deficient, homicidal maniac and it’s completely unbelievable in every regard. Also, its eventual use as we head home toward the ending is equally bizarre and logic defying but it does deserve a little credit for reasons that deserve to be seen to be believed.
One of the other issues that are raised when reviewing a horror movie is that you run in to a lot of things that are simply too goofy to try and be eloquent about: the drug use; the promiscuity; the nudity; the bad choices; and, subsequently, the bad decisions don’t really deserve to be scrutinized in the conventional sense. These elements made good horror films good then and it certainly makes it good now. To pick apart at these things would only serve to unravel the tight noose that is wrapped around your expectations for what you hope this movie will deliver. You go into this film wishing for these things and, if you’re really a fan of the genre, you hope things honor its heritage and you hope its fun. Derek Mears delivers an excellent, reenergized Jason Voorhees and even though there is nothing more to do than to act menacing his performance competes with that of C.J. Graham from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI. I am recusing any talk of the subtleties of Derek’s performance as really any talk beyond his form would just spoil the goodness of his heinousness with how he dispatches his victims to the afterlife.
This movie delivers on delivering a solid horror experience with its thrilling pacing and dark atmosphere. Terror seems to be around many corners and it deserves credit for not only erasing the awfulness and shame the sequels have inflicted on the more respectable entries into this much maligned franchise. There is nothing intellectual going on in these movies and I think this accounts for why many have failed to “get it” when it comes to what makes these good movies. It’s about nudity, about gettin’ high and about how people are gonna die. And this movie delivers on all three. Chainsaw and Dave would have absolutely given this a thumbs-up.
And now, for those still reading, who would like to win some FRIDAY THE 13TH swag? I have 6 FRIDAY THE 13TH branded hoodies to give away and if you’re interested in winning just jot me a note at Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com and just write somewhere in that e-mail what your favorite entry is of this series. These things are L and XL, have a red little swath on the front saying FRIDAY THE 13TH and a pimp looking Jason mask that will always be looking behind you. They’re pretty pimp so big thanks to the sponsors who tossed some my way.
I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. 
I know I usually run DVD Giveaways in this space without much regard to the film but CHOCOLATE is the exception to the rule in that I pursued the opportunity to have a couple copies for our site to give to our readers because I dug it as much as I did.
