Tag: beatles

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

THE CHALLENGERS

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: Unfortunately, Molly was cornered by retaliatory dingoes sent by Paul & Storm, and was unable to compete in this Challenge.

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “All For This Moment“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Noose“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rock Song“

GöDZ PööDLZ

Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Bad Penny“

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Will Always Look Up To You“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Natalie Portman’s Doormat“

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “Trapped Inside Your Sofa“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hubcap Without A Home“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament“

THE SCRIBBLES

The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
ROUND 1 SONG: “Snuggie Like Me“

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Am Your Pants“

DARRELL MacLAINE

Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Strawberry Fool“

BERG AND JERRY

Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Green Potato Chip Song“

DERREK J. THOMPSON

Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/
ROUND 1 SONG: “O’Riely’s Underpants“

JEREMY PIERSON

Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Your Welcome Mat“

DENISE HUDSON

Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
ROUND 1 SONG: “Leave The Stone Alone, Yep“

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Just A Rock“

TOM MILSOM

Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Raincoat’s Lament“

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “Ancient Wonder“

MILES FROM NASHVILLE

Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Bridge To Nowhere“

ANDREW THOMSON

Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament“

CALEB LEE

To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee
ROUND 1 SONG: “How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror’s Heart“

RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crazy Straw“

SARA PARSONS

Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG: “Throw Me Away“

AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Record Of Your Life“

IAN & MELISSA

Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Remember“

TRAVIS NORRIS

Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “Enertronic Bow“

THE GREMLINS

When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “Neutron Star“

THE PERFECT PLACE

When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
ROUND 1 SONG: “If I’ve Learned Anything“

HIS NAME IS LEGS

His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
ROUND 1 SONG: “One Of The Team“

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

[display_podcast]

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, MAY 31st. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again.

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”18″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo

GöDZ PööDLZ

Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a 19 year old Belgian student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

THE SCRIBBLES

The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

DARRELL MACLAINE

Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com

BERG AND JERRY

Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry

ANDY RUMSCHLAG

Andy’s interest in music really began in high school, when he was under the false impression that it could get him laid. He started playing drums and guitar, while dabbling in songwriting. After attending Berklee College of Music, he gained a distinct interest in songwriting. He is currently working on a solo release, while drumming as part of the (Song Fu competitor) Mike Lombardo Trio. He intends to take full advantage of Mike’s coattails.

Official Website: www.andyrumschlag.com

DERREK J. THOMPSON

Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/

THE MYSTICBUZZ BAND

The Mysticbuzz Band is from Washington, IL. We are currently working on our first album, and may have a real song released soon. We are a little off in our lyrics and sound… and that’s a good thing.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/mysticbuzzband

JEREMY PIERSON

Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com

DENISE HUDSON

Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com

TOM MILSOM

Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

Official Website: www.tommilsom.com

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: NONE

MILES FROM NASHVILLE

Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com

ANDREW THOMSON

Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

Official Website: www.helloandrew.com

CALEB LEE

To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee

RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring

SARA PARSONS

Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89

IAN & MELISSA

Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com

IN THE AUDIENCE

In the Audience is a band headed by 19-year-old Jordan Stowell. The band combines their love of Third Eye Blind-style pop hooks with the DIY ethics of the Microphones. The band will release Baritone Ukulele Classics in June and begin touring the same month.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/intheaudience

TRAVIS NORRIS

Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

Official Website: NONE

THE GREMLINS

When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

Official Website: NONE

THE GORGON’S GAZE

The Gorgon’s Gaze is the alias of Tim Wilkinson, recent resident of “the music capital of the world”, Austin, TX. Originally hailing from hard to pronounce Worcester, MA, he began his musical career as the drummer of metal band Tempus. His drumming proficiency led him to join infamous fun-core band Bison Bison, creators of the annual Molluskfest, and toured the US. Tim loves to talk about himself in the third-person and is joining MSF to rock out with “y’all”.

Official Website: www.thegorgonsgaze.com

MIKE FEDERALI

Mike Federali is a singer/songwriter from Virginia. He has two albums under his belt – The Great American Novel and Never Be Lonely. Mike wrote a song a day, everyday, in 2007 as part of a project called “365”. Mike has been called “The Beatles, Jayhawks and Pixies all rolled into one devilishly handsome dude” and “A One Man Music Army”. His songs can be heard on iTunes.

Official Website: www.mikefederali.com

THE PERFECT PLACE

When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA ““ a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD ““ with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace

HIS NAME IS LEGS

His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Friday, May 22nd, 2009.

Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Monday, May 25th, 2009.

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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SIGN-UP FOR THE NEXT EDITION OF SONG FU WILL BEGIN ON MONDAY, MAY 4th, 2009

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

Well, you voted on the Round 3 Challenge HERE. Your votes determined the one Master and the one Challenger who would battle head-to-head  – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis – in the final challenge…

FINAL CHALLENGE

I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

Below, you’ll find the Final Challenge songs from both Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis, followed by the all-important voting form.  For all of the previous songs from all of our Masters and Challengers, you can find the archive of this edition of Masters Of Song Fu HERE. But for now, here’s Paul & Storm vs the triumphant Molly Lewis…

PAUL & STORM vs MOLLY LEWIS

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “Frogger! The Frogger Musical”
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They got all better for the Final.

MOLLY LEWIS – ****THE WINNER****

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “Our American Cousin”
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

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FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

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View Results

Not only did Molly Lewis triumph, but she’s won remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, and has also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Molly Lewis brought the Fu. Can you?

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

Well, you voted on the Round 3 Challenge HERE. Your votes determined the one Master and the one Challenger who would battle head-to-head  – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis – in the final challenge…

FINAL CHALLENGE

I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

Below, you’ll find the Final Challenge songs from both Paul & Storm and Molly Lewis, followed by the all-important voting form. Beneath that, we’ve also included a pair of out-of-competition “Shadow Entries” done by Challengers just for fun (be sure to give ’em a spin, too). For all of the previous songs from all of our Masters and Challengers, you can find the archive of this edition of Masters Of Song Fu HERE. But for now, let’s get this show on the road – Paul & Storm vs Molly Lewis…

PAUL & STORM vs MOLLY LEWIS

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “Frogger! The Frogger Musical”
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They got all better for the Final.

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “Our American Cousin”
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

[display_podcast]

FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

Voting ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009.

[poll id=”17″]

View Results

THE SHADOW ENTRIES

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
SHADOW ENTRY – FINAL CHALLENGE: “#onedayintwitter”
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
SHADOW ENTRY – FINAL CHALLENGE: “Reunion Street”
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

Whoever triumphs will not only win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, they will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

And now, for archival purposes, you’ll find the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below – even those who had to drop out along the away – as well as the results of the Rounds 1, 2, & 3 voting. At the very bottom of the page, you’ll find THE FINAL CHALLENGE! Oh, and who are the Challengers? Find out below!

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re brought in 3 (well, 5, if you’re being technical) very special Masters. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and the ultimate challengers:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They shall return for the Final.

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile”
ROUND 2 SONG: “My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness”
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family. His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between. Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush. He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding. Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me”
ROUND 2 SONG: “You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers. While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.” There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson. Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger) partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.” After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences. LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different. Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Walking Song“

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Song“

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “One Little Happy Thought“

THE FINAL CHALLENGE

All the votes have been tallied, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes over the course of the last 3 Challenges is MOLLY LEWIS!  She’ll be going head-to-head against Masters PAUL & STORM… So what exactly is the Final Challenge?

I call this one FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. For examples of Frankensong, think of tunes like The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life” and Paul McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, or have a listen to the track below:

Harry Chapin – “There Only Was One Choice”

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Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, April 21st, 2009.

Voting on the Final Round will commence on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009.

All former Challengers are encouraged to shadow this round – join in the fun! Anyone who sends in a shadow entry will be featured.

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

On Monday, April 13th, we’ll be announcing the FINAL CHALLENGE for this edition of Masters Of Song Fu, during which one Challenger will square off against Masters Paul & Storm.

However, let’s have a bit of a party – a celebration, if you will – before that happens.

This evening – Friday, April 10th – we’ll be holding a special live, streaming listening party. Not only will we be playing every song submitted during the trio of Challenges that have comprised this edition of Song Fu, but we’ll also be giving away some pretty sweet prizes.

The event begins at 8pm EST, and you can access it by clicking HERE

Come on out, support all of the wonderful artists, and perhaps walk away with a prize. What more can you ask for?

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

After voting on Round 2, our masters and Challengers were then given their third Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

You’ll find the Round 1 & Round 2 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 & 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also find the Round 3 Challenge songs and be able to place your votes. Remember folks – this is the last challenge before the Final, and will decide who goes mano-a-mano with a Master!

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)
ROUND 3 SONG: Sadly, Paul & Storm were eaten by dingoes in the night. They shall return for the Final.

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile”
ROUND 2 SONG: “My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness”
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)
ROUND 3 SONG: “It All Makes Sense At The End“

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ROUND 3 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on THURSDAY, APRIL 9th.

ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

After voting on Round 1, our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

You’ll find the Round 1 & Round 2 songs from each of our Masters & Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 & 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is! remember folks – this is the last challenge before the Final, and will decide who goes mano-a-mano with a Master!

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile”
ROUND 2 SONG: “My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness”
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me”
ROUND 2 SONG: “You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)

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ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

For your third challenge, you have to write a song with the title “It All Makes Sense At The End”. You can interpret what song would be given that title in any way you see fit. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, March 31st, 2009.

Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009.

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop – Masters of Song Fu.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. Our masters and Challengers were then given their second Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Here’s a word cloud look at what everyone chose:

You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Masters below, including the 10 words they chose for their songs. Immediately following, you’ll be able to place your votes…

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Neil Innes had to pull out of this round due to professional commitments.

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Boolean Love Song” (WORDS USED: Amy, Bobby, Mary, if, then, equals, and, not, loves, happy)

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: Unfortunately, Garfunkel & Oates had to drop out of this round for health reasons.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Free Love” (WORDS USED: see, I, like, could, love, so, me, and, free, you)

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Extreme Mad-Libs (Song Fu Edition)” (WORDS USED: adjective, pronoun, name, verb, noun, article, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection)

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile”
ROUND 2 SONG: “My Romantic Interest In You Is Dwarfed By The Amount Of Money I Will Undoubtedly Be Making Off Of This Song (“Love Why You Love Me”)” (WORDS USED: who, me, you, I, are, am, why, love, do, too)

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Consortium Of Comprehension” (WORDS USED: I, did, not, quite, fully, understand, the, challenge, this, week)

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You” (WORDS USED: could, I, wish, love, can’t, know, but, you, do, tell)

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People”
ROUND 2 SONG: “What Is Wrong” (WORDS USED: doctor, what, is, wrong, with, me, you, need, some, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-
leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl- lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl- valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl- glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl- isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl- leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl- leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl- asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl- alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl- phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl- glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl- glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl- phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl- phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl- glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl- prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl- arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl- valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl- prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl- glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl- threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl- glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl- leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl- glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl- glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl- aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl- glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl- isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl- asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl- alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl- methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine)

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness”
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Mushroom Folk Devour The Tresspasser” (WORDS USED: mushroom, folk, oh, the, devour, tresspasser, dance, prance, punishment)

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me”
ROUND 2 SONG: “You And I” (WORDS USED: like, away, need, I, run, you, me, see, love, follow)

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Forgot The Words Blues” (WORDS USED: I, forgot, the, words, to, this, song, got, blues, yeah)

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Chanhgrila” (WORDS USED: life, love, time, is, pure, strong, dead, gone, strange, wrong)

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Machine” (WORDS USED: machine, serious, circuit, trouble, blood, courage, three, two, one, danger)

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
Twitter: twitter.com/ecogeek
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish”
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Know” (WORDS USED: I, don’t, think, know, you, what, that, but, baby, maybe)

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sandwich Girl (Lunchtime Lovestory)” (WORDS USED: lunch, cafe, sandwich, line, girl, be, mine, make, me, and)

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Why” (WORDS USED: the, grim, inevitability, of, last, spoon, in, a, sink, why)

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Let’s Not Tip It Over” (WORDS USED: we’re, gonna, rock, the, boat, let’s, not, tip, it, over)

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy”
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Cliche Love Song” (WORDS USED: I, love, you, don’t, leave, me, won’t, forgive, baby, but)

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Greasy Bacon” (WORDS USED: bacon, crispy, greasy, need, get, some, Canadian, making, tasty, kevin)

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu”
ROUND 2 SONG: “Peep Fight” (WORDS USED: marshmallow, Peeps, toothpicks, microwave, sword, fight, stomach, put, in, the)

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains”
ROUND 2 SONG: “God Of Bingo” (WORDS USED: bingo, Jimmi, Simpson, is, awesome, rocks, the, god, of, he)

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ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. Also, if you enjoy their tune, be sure to vote for our reigning Masters of Song Fu – Paul & Storm, as those votes will count when the other remasters rejoin in the next round. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on MONDAY, MARCH 9th.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 2 VOTING – THE MASTERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)“

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe“

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song“

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song“

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile“

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better… and now is no exception, as friend and producer Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy“

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy“

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People“

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Walking Song“

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness“

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Song“

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me“

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In“

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song“

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)“

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline“

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song“

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day“

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu“

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “One Little Happy Thought“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains“

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song containing *exactly* 10 unique words (this includes words such as a, and, the, etc.). You can repeat the words you choose as few or as many times as you want, but the sum total of the unique words can not be less than or more than 10.. You can write on any topic and in any style. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 15 seconds.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Thursday, February 26th, 2009.

Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Friday, February 27th, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s how some other artists tackled happy songs…
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ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE CHALLENGERS

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View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS – THE MASTERS

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View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors are presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

In past editions of Song Fu, we’ve used these votes to eliminate Challengers as we’ve progressed from Challenge to Challenge. For this cycle, however, we’ve decided that all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

Right now, let’s check out the Round 1 songs from each of our Masters and Challengers (streaming links for all the songs can be found after the bio section). At the bottom of the page, you’ll then be able to place your votes.

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.innesbookofrecords.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Imitation Song (Ron Nasty’s Last Song)“

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm
ROUND 1 SONG: “Hippie with a Djembe“

GARFUNKEL & OATES

Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci make up this band, which is a mixture of acoustic folk, comedy and pure sugar. Riki has been seen in The Changeling, My Best Friend’s Girl, Pushing Daisies, Gilmore Girls and Million Dollar Baby. You can catch Kate in Scrubs, When in Rome, Four Kings, How I Met Your Mother, or in her one-woman show “Playing with Micucci” at the Steve Allen Theater.

Official Website: www.garfunkelandoates.com
Twitter: twitter.com/KateMicucci
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song“

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Bop Bop Song“

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY
ROUND 1 SONG: “(Happiness)“

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “You Gotta Smile“

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer  .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy“

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “What Makes You Feel Happy“

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy People“

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
Twitter: twitter.com/RockingJamboree
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Walking Song“

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777
ROUND 1 SONG: “My Personal Eccentric Happiness“

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com
Twitter: twitter.com/HeatherHenderso
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy Song“

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com
Twitter: twitter.com/psychobman
ROUND 1 SONG: “As Happy As Me“

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Let The Happiness In“

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Happy Song“

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Happy (H.A.P.P.Y.)“

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Deep Sea Anglerfish“

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Caroline“

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape
Twitter: twitter.com/Pablovich
ROUND 1 SONG: “Do What You Want“

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG: “The Pompadour Song“

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Wide-Eyed Happy“

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “Parole Day“

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: “I Pity The (Song) Fu“

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “One Little Happy Thought“

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “A Mallful Of Brains“

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ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. Also, be sure to vote for your favorite song from our reigning Masters of Song Fu – Neil Innes and Paul & Storm. You may only vote for one Master, though, so make it count. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18th.

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”12″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE MASTERS

[poll id=”13″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a brand new form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

We invited 28 challengers to pick up the thrown-down gauntlet (You know, some spares as well). 26 Responded in time.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, these 26 competitors will now be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the readers.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

For this edition of Song Fu, we’re bringing in 2 (well, 3, if you’re being technical) very special Masters who you’ll be going up against. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu, and your ultimate challengers, as you’ll square off against one of them mano-a-mano in the Final Round:

NEIL INNES

If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late 60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band. Madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!), their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman.”

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form MONTY PYTHON with Graham Chapman and John Cleese. The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to PYTHON’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer.

Not able to escape the Pythons so easily, Neil was also tapped for MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Still not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, THE LIFE OF BRIAN (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

Even while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, releasing numerous albums on his own as well as with the groups The Grimms and The World. His BBC program, INNES BOOK OF RECORDS, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the 70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, the two devised a brief HARD DAY’S NIGHT parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL’s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. ALL YOU NEED IS CASH aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release THE RUTLES: ARCHEOLOGY, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la THE BEATLES ANTHOLOGY.

He recently released a new solo album, WORKS IN PROGRESS, and a brand new reunion album with the Bonzos, POUR L’AMOUR DES CHIENS. Neil continues to write and perform, and is in the process of recording his next solo album.

Official Website: www.egowarriors.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NeilInnes

PAUL & STORM

Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.

Official Website: www.paulandstorm.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulandstorm

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here is the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.

Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.com

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBC7f-6FY

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com

INSANE IAN

Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer  .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.

Official Website: www.insaneian.com

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!

Official Website: www.mikeoldfield.net/shadowland.html

MICK BORDET

Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.

Official Website: mickbordet.blogspot.com

CHARLIE WOLF

Charlie Wolf has always been much better at writing songs than at writing third-person biographies about himself. While still a teenager, Charlie Wolf is already an accomplished ‘multi-instrumentalist’, playing guitar, bass, accordion, and keyboards. In the past year or so, Charlie has began playing private parties and coffee-house gigs in the Los Angeles area, which sounds way more interesting than it actually is. His music ranges from hilarious comedy songs to tender ballads, and more often than not, somewhere in between. He would like to thank the academy, but cannot, because he does not know where the academy is or how they would like to be thanked.

Official Website: www.gypsypunk.net/cw/

RUSTY’S ROCKING JAMBOREE

“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers.  While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.”  There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson.  Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger)  partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.”  After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences.  LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different.  Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com

THE MASKED STRANGER

The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/themaskedstranger777

HEATHER HENDERSON

Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.

Official Website: www.HHenderson.com

BRYCE JENSEN

Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family.  His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between.  Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush.  He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding.  Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.

Official Website: www.brycejensen.com

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works.  He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.

Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com

TIMOTHY RUSH

On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234

CRABBYDAD

Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.

Official Website: crabbydad.blogspot.com

HANK GREEN

Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.

Official Website: www.nerdfighters.com

SHANE PETERSON

Name’s Shane Peterson. Live in Red Hook, NY. 21 years of age. Alleged film and music guru. Intrepid traveller breaking the walls of perception, riding the infinite wave…

Official Website: None

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time  playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com

HALLELUJAH APE

“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hallelujahape

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson once pulled a toenail during load in, later “nailing” the gig in front of an ex. Saving the phalangial flotsam for conversion into a guitar pick may seem a macabre jest; but does it indicate vileness, or merely a haunting dedication to her craft?  Playing the piano like a dark pink freight train on a cloud, she’ll indulge diverse requests from Brahms to Nintendo themes. Denise was nourished by an intellectually wealthy family. She once acquired a flautist from a nearby Mexican restaurant to perform “mythical” elfin soliloquies for a be-stricken audience. UT Austin music school honed sticks, skins and sleeplessness skills; but you can’t edju-ma-cate the blues.  She taught herself guitar, and her unusually skilled brother claims she “taught him to play drums.” Denise performed on his and others’ albums, in various duos, stupid hats, cover acts, and in a noteworthy “Texas blues folk rock band with creative lyrical twists & an (occasionally) naked lead guitarist.” A traveler, a poet, and sub-par housekeeper, Denise will continue churning out controversial family favorites in her awesome new home studio in 2009.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

HAZEN NESTER

Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted”  songwriter.  His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ” Â  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television.  Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ”  – Bold-faced lie, ” ”  – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]

Official Website: www.hazennester.com

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?”  She has not written any songs since.  Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years.  A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline.  While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.  With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.

Official Website: www.jutze.com

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

In light of all the doom and gloom of recent months, as financial markets crashed and winter closed in, we’re going to kick things off with a rather straightforward challenge. You can interpret this challenge however you’d like – how you do so will give people a sense of just what your songwriting personality and style is…

Your first challenge is to WRITE A HAPPY SONG.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009.

Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Thursday, February 12th, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s how some other artists tackled happy songs…
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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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