
Lackluster

One advertising slogan that never really applied to me was “If you only see one movie this month…”. I spend a lot of time in the cinema, and it’d be a very rare turn of events that would lead me to not go to see a movie at least once a week. Going to the cinema with such regularity means that I get to see everything that I want to see and I get to see some films that I don’t necessarily want to see, but am willing to take a chance on. And now, here we are again almost at the end of “Blockbuster Season” and I haven’t really been awesomed by many films.
As I write this, there is some small hope left in the Season, hope that we might go from somewhat-lacklustre to absolute-blockbuster. Inception went on general release last week in most countries around the world and it impressed the hell out of me. So far, it’s been the saving grace of the summer. Toy Story 3 went on general release in Ireland and the UK on the 19th of July (yes, it went on general release on a Monday for some stupid reason) and is riding high on stellar reviews from America where the movie has been out for quite some time. The A-Team and The Karate Kid have both yet to be released here and both have gotten very mixed reviews but still carry with them some small promise of salvation, but that hope is very small. I think that when all is said and done, Inception and Toy Story 3 could be the winners this year with a special mention for How To Train Your Dragon. That movie was released in March of this year, so it was probably too early to be considered a summer blockbuster, but hands down it’s been my favourite movie of the year and probably my favourite animated movie of all time. And as such, I’m allowing it for consideration in this column.
Dependant on what part of the world you’re reading this in, your experience of the blockbuster season could well be different to mine. In Eastern Europe, The A-Team went on release weeks ago and Toy Story 3 is out but Inception is still a week away. In this age of instant information when a movie can live or die on the strength of reviews, there’s still a huge discrepancy in the release dates of certain movies. There was a time when I was really looking forward to seeing The Last Airbender, but after reading consistently awful reviews from both viewers and critics in America, I’ll be giving that movie a wide miss. The practice of staggering releases around the world also has a hugely detrimental effect when it comes to internet piracy. There are certain people who will want to see a big blockbuster movie as soon as it’s available, no matter how it’s available. If I felt a burning need to see The A-Team before the 28th of July, I could very easily have a good quality digital copy of the movie sitting on my hard drive by now and let’s face it, if I have the movie on my hard drive there’s very little chance that I’d pay to see it on a bigger screen upon it’s cinematic release in Ireland. But illegalness isn’t my style, and I enjoy going to the cinema far too much, so the closest I’ll come to piracy is a Pirates Of The Caribbean marathon over the course of a weekend at home.
Looking at the listings for this week at my local cinema, it strikes me that there’s a smaller choice of movies now than there is at almost any other time during the year. I think that part of the reason for this is that studios are afraid that “smaller” movies will be steamrolled over by the bigger blockbuster movies. But another reason for it is 3D. At present, Shrek Forever After and Toy Story 3D account for four movies even though they are obviously only two. Having to accommodate 3D versions of movies, and not even the summer blockbusters, means that the movie will take up two spaces on a schedule and that just means that someone has to lose out. And the “someone” who loses out is usually the audience.
The only movie with which I can compare the 3D version to the 2D version is How To Train Your Dragon. I got to see that movie three times in the cinema and the second viewing was in 3D, due to scheduling more than any desire to sit in the cinema wearing a set of plastic glasses over my own prescription glasses. And I have to say that I really didn’t notice any discernable difference between the two versions. Though I think the movie is pretty much perfect either way. I think and I hope that 3D will come and go as it has before, as its main purpose at the moment sees to be purely to clog up cinema schedules or delay the release of movies. Joss Whedon’s new movie, Cabin in Then Woods would have been released by now were it not for the studio’s desire to have the film released in 3D.
But 3D still holds little sway over the world of DVD/Blu Ray and home entertainment. I can’t help but wonder if four or five months from now when the blockbuster movies are released on disc how we’ll be looking back at this summer? Predators was a worthy sequel but didn’t quite live up to its initial promise. Shrek Forever After tried to breath new life into the franchise but did more sucking than blowing. Prince Of Persia tried to be Pirates Of The Caribbean on sand but didn’t have any of the charm of the pirate movies. Iron Man 2 set the standard high early in the season, but couldn’t help but suffer from comparisons to the universally loved original movie. Twilight movies are just horrible, and send the worst possible message to it’s target audience of teenage girls. How To Train Your Dragon would be the standard bearer if it had been released a little later in the year, but it did have the advantage of being able to enjoy a very lengthy run in the cinema sue to it’s release before the lacklustre blockbusters.
So here we stand, near the end of another blockbuster season with only Inception to hold aloft as the example of what a blockbuster should be. It’s an unusual position to be in, given that Inception is also the smartest film of the year so far or indeed of the last couple of years. I’ll be going to see Toy Story 3 later this week and I have high hopes for it. Maybe high hopes are dangerous, but it’s high hopes that keep us going. And more importantly… keep us going to the cinema.
– Simon Fitzgerald

Bless his cotton socks. I wanted to high five him when he told John James to “take it easy on Josie”. One of the few people to actually stop and think “hey psycho, stop”. Nerdy and shy he shouldnt be as entertaining as he is but it helps that he seems to be genuinely growing confidence from the experience. Could go far.
The posh git has some life in him. I thought he was in trouble from Day 1 and lets be fair he got himself into trouble since Day 1 but he has managed to endear himself not only to the housemates but to the public. He’s still desperate to be loved but his desperation is what made him human and I guess we’ve connected with that a little.
Roll up, roll up and get your living Corin doll complete with four whole phrases! Just pull the string and hear “Oh my god”, “Loving it”, “Buzzing” and “Can’t believe it”. That’s all. Nothing else. Corin doll also comes with removable eyebrows.
Another one who really bugged me at first but who I’ve warmed to over time. He has a similar opinion to myself about a lot of the housemates in regard to their revelry in negativity (also known as being bitchy the whole time). The only problem is, he still thinks gay marriage is immoral, I thought this would come back to bite him but obviously no-one gives a shit. It’s been while since he was up for eviction so we’ll see how he gets on.
Dumb as a pile of rocks. His budding romance with Josie has kept me fascinated and frustrated for weeks. However, I’m tired of his anger. He’ll shout at everyone who gives him an opportunity and is obsessed with who is “real” and who isnt. He won’t let anything go and it’s exhausting. Plus, any real man would have kissed Josie by now. Seriously, grow a pair, you little girl.
Hello me old mucker. She has kind of lost her marbles with this John James stuff. It doesn’t help that she sucks her thumb constantly. For a woman of her age she has not handled any of this stuff like a grown up. Hasn’t really gotten many nomination votes and I can see her making it to the final. She’s my favourite to win the show but all could fall apart depending on how she reacts to the stress of her “relationship” over the next few weeks.
Came into the house with loads of swagger and claimed she would rule the roost. Nothing. Not a jot of that. But she has been a firm voice and a competitive spirit so she has a good place within all the kids who run about. Has a weird flirt thing going on with Steve but I would hazard that this is because she’s trying to move herself up the social ladder within the house. A go getter. Lets see if she gets it.
She fancies Ben… I just… I just can’t get past this.
Will make it to the final by default and I have a little bit of a problem with that. Ben pointed out early on that nobody will nominate him for fear of being seen as a bastard by the public. The thing is, he’s not entertainment. Yeah, he has 8 kids and he misses them but thats it. So if he wins this purely out of sympathy I’ll be pissed. That being said, his fawning over Keeley is freaking me out. Maybe something interesting will result of it.

I’m Ken Plume, and soon you’ll be listening to “A Bit Of A Chat” with me, Ken Plume.


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