Category: TV Or Not TV

Hell all and welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV.

When I sit down to write this column every week I am, more often than not, doing it on a Sunday. With the best of intentions I start writing it mid-day and usually find myself, one way or another, still not submitting it far later than I should. I am telling you this because it has also given me a new perspective on quite a few television shows.

Every week while I’m writing I inadvertently use a second monitor to watch streaming television shows from the network web sites. Today, as an example, I was able to finally get caught up on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

This show wasn’t one that fell off of my radar because of the quality of the show. There are only so many hours of television one man can watch and knowing that FOX has their shows online I watch what I can when I can. I’m very glad for this service because it turns out that, at least in my opinion, they’ve done very good things with TSCC. The first 8 episodes of the season were well structured, well written, and pretty darn entertaining. Elements from Season 1 have carried over to Season 2 and some of them have even been resolved. My only complaint with the show is the acting by the title character and the actor that plays her son, the future savior of humanity John Connor. Both actors seem to have taken the dark futures their characters are supposed to encounter and use that to always deliver dark and brooding performances that never really sell me on much.

The shocking actor on the show is Brian Austin Green who plays Derek Reese. His performance is always spot on as a fighter from the future sent back to the past to aid his nephew in getting to where he needs to be to either stop the impending doom or act as humanities leader. He also plays very well against Summer Glau’s Cameron. Fan’s of the former FOX show Firefly had no doubt about her acting abilities and she does a very good job as the reprogrammed Terminator.

The one thing that is bad about the show is that, admitedly, you can’t just drop in mid-season and know what is going on. The characters have now been on their journey for quite a few episodes, elements from past episodes continue to resurface, and with all the people dropping in from the future it can get a bit confusing. If you can find a way to get caught up to date I’d definitely recommend the show for your viewing time.

Now let’s move on to what’s coming up this week.

MONDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: There’s nothing wrong with the color setting of your TV, tonight ABC is going green but it has nothing to do with being eco-friendly. Tonight enjoy Shrek the Halls immediately followed by the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Clearly ABC has bought the rights to just about every holiday special out there.

FOX – 8:00 PM: I am always intruiged when the description of a show says “history changes when a Terminator is sent back to the wrong time.” I hope I get to hear someone say, “Cometh with me if thou doth wish to live.”

ABC Family – 8:00 PM: Talk about crazy counter programming. ABC Family kicks off their 25 days of Christmas programming with the film version of the Grinch. You’d think they would at least put something else on tonight to not compete with their sister station. The ratings game shows no mercy.

TUESDAY

FX – 8:00 PM: The Punisher has now seen at least three movie incarnations. The first was played by Dolph Lundgren. This second feature film version features Thomas Jane as Frank Castle and John Travolta as the bad guy. I’ve never seen it and already I’m rooting for Travolta to get capped.

ABC – 8:00 PM: If you’ve ever wondered about the early years of Kris Kringle and you love the Rankin/Bass classics then you need to watch Santa Claus is Coming to Town. How can you resist Paul Frees as the Burgermeister Meisterburger?

NBC – 8:00 PM: This week’s episode of The Biggest Loser: Families combines two things I could care less about: a makeover in New York and the Tyra Banks Show.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight’s season premiere of According to Jim may be an even greater injustice knowing this show lives while Pushing Daisies is coming to an end.

WEDNESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: Speaking of Pushing Daisies, tonight Ned and Olive have to try to find out who killed a rival chef who was deep fried. It’s crispy good entertainment.

CBS – 8:00 PM: Looks like ABC doesn’t own the rights to every holiday classic. Tonight that lovable light up fellah saves the misfit toys and Christmas on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

FX – 8:00 PM: Take one millionaire, give them the assignment of going into a small town undercover and aware money to the most deserving residents after living amongst them and you get Secret Millionaire.

TNT – 8:00 PM: Try not to shoot your eye out kid while watching A Christmas Story.

CBS – 10:00 PM: I must have lost my man card years ago because I’ve never actually seen the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Will this be the year I break my no viewing streak? Probably not.

THURSDAY

DISNEY – 8:00 PM: Nothing looks creepier to me than the computer animation stylings of The Polar Express.

NBC – 9:30 PM: Liz takes Jack to her high school reunion. This can’t end well.

ABC – 10:00 PM: The Barbara Walters Special tonight has Barbara counts down the 10 most fascinating people of the past year. I’m not sure how I feel about Miley Cyrus or Rush Limbaugh being on the list, but I’ll probably still watch.

FRIDAY

As usual Friday is a massive dud filled night so here are the very weak suggestions I can make.

ABC – 8:00 PM: If you don’t get ABC Family or you didn’t watch it Monday night you can watch Jim Carrey under tons of makeup in Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

NBC – 8:00 PM: If you are exteremely busy and worried about catching your favorite holiday show or flick you can check out Greatest Holiday Moments: TV & Film Countdown.

TNT – 8:00 PM: Once upon a time Whitney Houston was a star and Kevin Costner was considered a romantic lead as can be seen in The Guardian. The schmaltzy song thankfully doesn’t show up until the end.

FX – 9:00 PM: Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis decide to take the year off from Christmas after their daughter decides not to come home for the holidays in Christmas with the Cranks.

SATURDAY

Saturday, as usual, follows Friday’s suit. Here is my attempt at polishing a turd.

NBC – 8:00 PM: If you’ve been watching Crusoe than you might want to know that it’s now on a new night.

OXYGEN – 8:00 PM: Is You’ve Got Mail a clever romantic comedy or a feature length commercail for AOL and Starbucks.

G4 – 8:00 PM: Oh man, for once I may have a real reason to tune in to G4. Pee-wee’s Big Adventure is followed by Real Genius. Both movies are ones I fondly remember from my teenage years and the latter is a less serious Val Kilmer. Hey, at least he isn’t the voice of a car on a lame action show.

SUNDAY

TNT – 8:00 PM: The Librarian is back in Curse of the Judas Chalice. Nothing says action like Noah Wyle and this time he’s saving the world from vampires in New Orleans.

E! – 8:00 PM: Save the cheerleader, save the… oh, wait… sorry. I saw Hayden Panettiere and got confused. This is actually Bring it On: All or Nothing. WIthout seeing it, I’m goin gto chose nothing.

HBO – 9:00 PM: I don’t know what is creepier, the content of the four part mini-series House of Saddam or the eerie portrayal of the former tyrant by Igal Naor.

TNT – 10:00 PM: Timothy Hutton stars as the leader of a modern day group of Robin Hoods who get payback for the victims of the rich and corrupt. He’ll always be Turk182 to me but I’ll still give it a shot.

– Will Wilkins feels like he is still in a turkey coma.

Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I am sad for The Pie Maker.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago it is the time for shows to be judged by their presenters and they either get to continue on or they fall by the schedule wayside. We, the viewers, do not actually get to decide on the fates of these shows (except with our viewing habits as reported by the all-mysterious Nielsen ratings system). That decision, for right or wrong, is made by those in charge of the networks.

I’m sad this week to learn that one of the more enjoyable and original shows is falling in a trifecta of cancellations (or non-order of new episodes) over at ABC. Pushing Daisies, along with it’s Wednesday night companions Eli Stone and Dirty, Sexy, Money, hasn’t been given a pickup. The network has no interest in new episodes, so the 13 that have been produced will potentially be the last new episodes that we will ever see. Those of you that have been fans of the show about a Pie Maker with the ability to bring those back from the dead with the touch of his finger will also be upset to know that episode 13 will end on a cliff hanger leaving us with a lingering question mark that may never have an answer.

I’ve never actually followed the ratings for Pushing Daisies so I don’t know how it performed before the Writer’s Strike occurred. I do know that that Pushing Daisies was critically acclaimed (which oddly enough in television isn’t always a good thing) and that the show felt like it had good momentum before the abrupt halt it had to endure last year. I’m left wondering if its ratings sag has anything to do with the strike. Had it been to long for the audience of the show to remember (or even care) about it anymore? Was some of the magic lost in that downtime? All of these are questions without answers, of course, but that nagging feeling in the back of my head makes me believe that there is a connection.

The passing of Pushing Daisies is once again another painful reminder that creator Bryan Fuller just can’t seem to catch a break. His first original venture about a woman receiving messages from inanimate objects was the short lived Wonder Falls which was critically acclaimed and didn’t complete its first season. The Showtime original Dead Like Me was another great show, critically adored and completed only two short seasons. All of his shows have unique and extremely entertaining concepts, superb writing, and all never seem to last long enough. Here is hoping that this at least means he can return to Heroes now and try to fix that damned show.

My apologies to fans of Eli Stone and DSM for not going in to more detail as I only sampled either of these shows. I can simply say that to see an entire scheduled night of television go is quite a shock to the TV viewing system.

NBC once again also proves itself to be the network that can’t give a show a chance to prove itself. The incredibly well made and compelling My Own Worst Enemy has also not been given a pick up, along with the returning Lipstick Jungle. Having only watched the former I can say that I’m shocked that the show isn’t getting a season to prove itself. This is a condition I feel that the sagging lead in of Heroes (as well as the cost to make the show) are coming heavily in to play.

I’m sure that before we know it more shows will continue to fall. We have a whole slew of mid-season replacements on the way as well as the “winter” schedule shows due in January. As always, stay tuned.

If you are one of the five people that actually read this column then you will pick up on the fact that at least two shows from last week are appearing again this week? What I do isn’t a perfect science and sometimes the wires can get crossed. Last week they got completely jumbled. My apologies to the confusion it may have caused.

Now it is time to take a look at the shows that are still with us.

MONDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Last week we found out that Chuck‘s ex-girlfriend is actually the enemy, too bad Chuck doesn’t know it yet. He will within 42 broadcast minutes.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: Last week on Prison Break they spent the entire show breaking in to a high tech room to get at this Scyla thing. This week presumably they get it, but since we’re only half way through the season you can put even money on the fact that it all doesn’t just go off without a hitch (betrayal is a comin’).

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: So you know how all this Heroes stuff happened with an eclipse? Well, amazingly enough another is happening and things get screwed up more than me writing last week’s column.

TUESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Jerry Rice and Steve Young show up on The Biggest Loser: Families to put the players through NFL style workouts. I swear I’ve had nightmares about this EXACT same thing.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: Nothing says loving like A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. I haven’t seen this one in years and I just can’t wait to see it.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: A man on Fringe is so convinced he is being attacked by butterflies (you read that right) that he leaps from a window to escape them (seriously, butterflies?).

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Not since Sonny & Cher or Donnie & Marie have we seen a really good variety show. Rosie O’Donell hopes to change that tonight with Rosie Live! Good luck Ro, I’m rooting for you.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: As mentioned above there are a limited number of Pushing Daisies left so you may want to enjoy tonight’s episode. Stephen Root is on one again so it can’t be all that bad.

THURSDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 AM: If you’ve really needed a David Archuleta fix than you will want to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: FOX’s answer to what to show on TV when no one is really watching is the Adam Sandler movie Click.

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: I think I like NBC’s decision to air one of the best super-hero movies ever: The Incredibles.

FRIDAY

SCIFI ““ 8:00 AM: Wondering what to do for the next 24 hours? How about watching a Mork & Mindy marathon that pretty much covers the entire series run? Nanu!

USA ““ 8:00 ““ 10:00 PM: It’s the day after Thanksgiving so naturally the Christmas things need to be brought out. Tonight special holiday editions of Monk and Psych give us our season’s greetings.

FX ““ 8:00 PM: Here’s something I never thought I’d see, a Wayans brothers marathon. If you can stomach Little Man than your constitution is sturdy enough to handle White Chicks.

SATURDAY

TBS ““ 9:00 PM: Wow, I wasn’t aware this was officially variety show week. This night it’s Ellen’s Even Bigger, Really Big Show.

USA ““ 9:00 PM: The movie Elf is one of my all-time holiday favorites. I know, it feels kind of wrong to put it up there with A Christmas Story but it is just good wholesome fun.

SUNDAY

ABC ““ 9:00 PM: It’s the post-fire episode of Desperate Housewives. Now we know who the crazy blonde guy is out for, but what is the REAL reason he’s after him?

MTV ““ 10:00 PM: You might be surprised by Britney: For the Record as this 90 minutes is nothing at all like the last semi-reality show we saw her in. This one may have you actually feeling sorry for her.

COMEDY ““ 10:00 PM: It’s a night of Kat Williams with The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1 and American Hustle: The Movie.

TNT ““ 10:30 PM: If you are like me you probably couldn’t muster the desire to buy or rent Lost Boys: The Tribe. If you have TNT you only have to endure commercials to sit through it. Don’t worry, I’ll be with you in spirit as I sit through this too.

– Will Wilkins is counting down to turkey.

Welcome to TV or Not TV: The week before Thanksgiving edition.

Before turkey day comes, however, we’ll be seeing two of the Sunday night shows on HBO signing off for the season.

The first show that will be having its season finale this week will be Entourage. I’ve always enjoyed Entourage, even though the last two seasons have proven extremely unbalanced. Last season we saw actor Vincent Chase hot off of Aquaman success seemingly implode over his dream project of Medellín. This season we see the consequences of Medellín on his career and his attempts to recover it.

This season started off good and seemed to really have the potential to be a step in the right direction. These last three episodes of the season, however, have almost undone for me any good feelings I had about the season. In many ways it feels like the writers really don’t know what direction to take the show any more and they are just throwing anything they can at us to try to give us a compelling reason to watch. I don’t know how it could but I really hope this week’s season finale reverses that. It has to give us some hope since the show will be back for its sixth season in the summer of 2009.

The second show that will be ending its stellar first season will be True Blood. I tuned in for the premiere of this show and it moved so slow for me that I wrote it off for the next four weeks. During that time the buzz started and I came back (thanks to the OnDemand feature of cable) and was able to correct my mistaken abandon.

If you don’t know about True Blood it would be a little tough to summarize. Imagine a world (based on the Sookie Stackhouse books written by Charlaine Harris) where vampires due exist and they have “come out of the coffin” and made their existence known (thanks to the invention of a synthetic blood product that the show takes its name from). The show itself takes place in the small (and fictional) Louisiana town of Bon Temps and centers around telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse. Sookie falls for vampire Bill Compton, which brings the normal and paranormal worlds together and gives us the vehicle for this series.

With an amazing cast of characters, a season wide serial murderer mystery sub-plot, and an interesting take on drug addiction (and the drug source) the show is powerful, compelling and entertaining. Each hour of the show (except the season premiere) comes off perfectly paced and balanced and gives us just enough information to want more. If you have OnDemand and a subscription to HBO I strongly encourage you to work your way through this amazing show. If not than I am sure the inevitable DVD release of Season 1 will be here before Season 2, which HBO has already given a green light.

Now that we’ve talked about two shows that are going away let’s talk about all of the shows that will be here this week.

MONDAY

CBS ““ 8:30 PM: Didn’t get enough of Jamie-Lynn Sigler on last night’s episode of Entourage? Tune in to How I Met Your Mother for more as she plays a party monster that keeps Robin busy.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: Sorry, but I just have to call BS on Prison Break. Last week we see an emotional T-Bag getting all soft over the death of former CO Brad Bellick. This week his soft streak continues. This is almost as bad as Heroes trying to redeem Sylar.

CBS ““ 9:30 PM: The day before the wedding Fred Willard plays Sam‘s dad on Worst Week. Finally a reason to watch this show again!

TUESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Jerry Rice and Steve Young show up on The Biggest Loser: Families to put the players through NFL style workouts. I swear I’ve had nightmares about this EXACT same thing.

CBS ““ 9:00 PM: Patrick stages a séance to prove a supposed psychic is a fake while looking incredibly smug on The Mentalist.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: A man on Fringe is so convinced he is being attacked by butterflies (you read that right) that he leaps from a window to escape them (seriously, butterflies?).

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Not since Sonny & Cher or Donnie & Marie have we seen a really good variety show. Rosie O’Donell hopes to change that tonight with Rosie Live! Good luck Ro, I’m rooting for you.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: If you didn’t get enough of Fred Willard on Worst Week than you can get a second helping of him on tonight’s Pushing Daisies. Personally I’m just hoping for more Stephen Root who showed up on the last episode and has three more episodes to go.

THURSDAY

CW ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of Smallville is the last you will see until January and we get a look at Doomsday. I’m sure there will be cliffhangers galore. Too bad the CW will just retread this seasons previous episodes until 2009 instead of giving us Reaper sooner.

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: Toby returns tonight on The Office and may be getting framed for a mess left in the microwave.

FOOD ““ 9:00 PM: Find out new things to do after next week’s big feast on Dear Food Network: Thanksgiving Left Overs.

NBC ““ 9:30 PM: Two words are all I will give you to entice you to watch 30 Rock this week: Steve Martin.

FRIDAY

TOON ““ 9:00 PM: Way to know your fans Lucas! Tonight on Star Wars: The Clone Wars that whacky Jar Jar Binks is mistaken for a Jedi. Um”¦ yeah, I’ll tune right in. Just wait for 11:00 PM to tune into the Clerks cartoon episode instead.

TOON ““ 9:00 PM: When it comes to holiday specials Larry the Cable Guy’s Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza will git ‘er done (sorry, I had to).

SATURDAY

FOOD ““ 7:00 PM: With Turkey Day around the corner you can start to get ready with tonight’s offerings on Food Network. Come off like you worked all day in the kitchen with help from Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade Thanksgiving. Next steal some great ideas from All Star Thanksgiving Recipes and watch other people do all the work with the big Thanksgiving meal face off on Iron Chef America.

CMT ““ 8:00 PM: Sometimes the programming really does live up to the theme of the network. Enjoy Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling followed by the season finale of My Big Redneck Wedding and topped off by Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team. Makes me want to get into my boxers and grab a beer just typing it!

TOON ““ 9:00 PM: Even though it was extremely sanitized for its original DVD release I still really enjoyed Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.

SUNDAY

AMC ““ 3:00 PM: I’m not sure anyone can handle this much Balboa in one sitting. Take in Rocky I through V and if you make it from III on you are stronger than the Italian Stallion himself.

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: In a way to try to spark interest after a year and a half absence (as well as see what the ratings are like after) the folks behind 24 bring us the 2 hour movie 24: Redemption. You won’t need to see this to know what is going on when the show comes back in January, but it can’t hurt.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: Although host Jimmy Kimmel might be reason enough to get me to tune in to the 2008 American Music Awards I give you six words people: New Kids on the Block performs! Let’s see if they still, in fact, have the right stuff (while late 80’s teens hang their head in embarrassment over their former obsessions).

BBCA ““ 8:00 PM: I can’t find a funnier title for a show this week than Sugar Mummies, where the hour is spent examining the effects on family and lives of younger men falling in love with drastically older women. Yes, I know, the title is just a translation kind of thing but man it makes me laugh.

– Will Wilkins has turkey and stuffing on the brain.

Hello TV viewers. My name is Will Wilkins and I’m interrupting your regularly scheduled programming for these special announcements.

Now that November is here it is time to see some shows start to fall by the wayside. That’s right, even though Halloween has passed television programs still have to fear the Reaper as the fickle Nets decide what they will do.

So far CBS has pulled The Ex-List from the line up. There has been no comment about the future of the show from the network but even money is on the fact that the show is out. The concept itself sounded better fit for a 30 minute sitcom than an hour long romantic drama. Of course the fact that the show wasn’t entertaining could be the real reason for this schedule pull.

FOX decided after 13 seasons that King of the Hill just isn’t a fit for the network and it’s Animation Domination Sunday night of programming. The show has been consistent in all the preceding seasons and it is sad to see it go. There are still new episodes in the can that may or may not run on FOX and ABC is rumored to be interested in picking up the show. Cartoon Network‘s Adult Swim has also picked up the rights to run all 13 seasons of the show, so soon you will see King of the Hill kicking off the nightly programming of Adult Swim.

FOX also was nice enough early on to put Do Not Disturb out of its misery. The Brad Garrett show ‘Till Death has also been pulled during sweeps week. None of this is very surprising since FOX really just tries to make it’s way to January when their ratings superstar American Idol returns. Why else would they be so willing to experiment with silly concept shows like Hole in the Wall?

Even though the CW has had some mild success with 90210 and the returning Gossip Girl the ratings haven’t been kind to the network. Their plan to lease out their Sunday night of programming has lead to both shows already being canceled (their ratings were so abysmal I didn’t even bother naming them because apparently NO ONE watched let alone heard about them). Hopefully the network will wake up and bring Reaper out of mothballs to try to give themselves a little lift.

On the brighter side of the network side of showbusiness it would appear that the mildly entertianing Kath & Kim has something on someone at NBC because it has received a full season pick up. The Ford sponsored Knight Rider also got a full ride. ABC gave a full season order to Samantha Who? but the jury is still out on other returning shows such as Pushing Daisies and Eli Stone (the former .

What does this all mean? I have no idea.  Let’s look at some listings!

MONDAY

HIST – 8:00 PM: Someone actually took the time to look at the technology of Star Wars and then try to back up its viability within modern science. What part of Science Fiction did not hey get?

NBC – 8:00 PM: Chuck‘s ex-girflriend shows up, and given his involvement with the whole spy world I’m sure there is NOTHING at all suspicious with what she is involved with.

SPIKE – 9:00 PM: Travel down the river with the C-list crew of Dax Sheppard, Mathew Lillard, and Seth Green in the brief yet entertaining Up the Creek.

NBC – 9:00 PM: I try to give up on Heroes but I just can’t. The firing of two of the executive producers/writers last week make me feel compelled to tune in one more time. Oh yeah, Hiro goes back in time to find out why Pa Patrelli formed Pinehearst. Whackiness ensues.

TUESDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: This week on Biggest Loser: Families the teams go away and it is every person for themselves.  Let’s see how tight the family bonds really are now.

CW – 8:00 PM: The son that Harry never knew he had that was given up 20 years ago is brought to the surface tonight.

LOGO – 10:00 PM: Lego-like characters are animated to make the sitcom Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World. Do I really need to describe it any more than this?

WEDNESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: A few years ago she was an American Idol champion, now she’s hosting the CMA Awards.

BRAVO – 10:00 PM: Top Chef moves to New York to serve up some great TV.

NBC – 9:00 PM: Remember last week when I pointed out Life had an episode on Friday and they were investigated a murder at the mall the day after Thanksgiving? Yeah, um… it’s actually on tonight. Sorry, TV listings lie to me sometimes, and I pass the lie on.

THURSDAY

CW – 8:00 PM: Last week on Smallville Clarke says how he is afraid to rebuild the Fortress of Solitude, this week he rebuilds it. Pay attention this week to hear what they’ll be doing next week.

NBC – 9:30 PM: Jennifer Aniston pops up on 30 Rock as an obsessive stalker who turns her sites on Jack. Is the rule that they get one Friends person per season?

NBC – 10:00 PM: With this being the last season of the powerhouse that is ER you knew that stunt casting was in store. This show they somehow bring dead Dr. Greene back. Go figure.

FRIDAY

CARTOON NETWORK – 7:30 PM: Borrowing an animation style from the 40’s and 50’s and a bit of the schtick from the 60’s TV show the new Batman: The Brave and the Bold hopes to cash in on some of that hot summer Batman action for the kids that weren’t old enough to see the film.

SHO – 7:30 PM: The 2008 documentary a/k/a Tommy Chong takes a look at the 2003 raid by federal agents that sent Tommy Chong to jail for selling bongs.

CBS – 9:00 PM: Replacing the removed Ex-List is The Price is Right Salutes the Troops.

NBC – 9:00 PM: Crusoe and Friday have to deal with the arrival of cannibals with two captives. There’s nothing worse than unexpected guests… that can eat you.

SATURDAY

TBS – 7:30 PM: OK, after that whole Life mistake I double checked this one three times, but it is true. Even though we have yet to carve our own Roast Beast The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is already here.

HBO – 9:00 PM: I’ve found him funny in everything else that he has done so here’s hoping that Ricky Gervias: Out of Englad – The Stand Up Special is funny.

FOX – 11:00 PM: Get this, there are commercials actually trying to get you to watch MadTV tonight to see the cast members playing Guitar Hero: World Tour. OK, I’ve ignored you for seven seasons now but THIS is going to get me to turn in. Great going guys!

SUNDAY

FOOD – 8:30 PM: This time the fine folk of Iron Chef: America are playing against one another in a Thanksgiving Feast Face Off.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight there is going to be a big club fire on Desperate Housewives. Susan‘s daughter Julie also returns with her boyfriend and there is a slight age difference.

CARTOON NETWORK – 11:30 PM: The folk at Robot Chicken performa follow up to last year’s Star Wars special with the Star Wars Episode II. If you can’t stay up, DVR this because laughs are guaranteed.

– Will Wilkins was watching Kung Fu Panda while writing this week’s column.

Welcome to the big election week TV or Not TV EXTRAVAGANZA!

OK, not really. I won’t get in to political rhetoric here because the only thing that the election does for the avid television viewer is mess up your regularly scheduled programming on Tuesday nights.

Of course we’ve seen more than our fair share of interruptions in programming this year with the three Presidential debates and the one Vice-Presidential debate. All of the debates this year had massive ratings numbers so from that aspect alone we can tell that America is doing something that it hasn’t seemed to do as much in the years prior: it actually cares about the Presidential election. As a fan of Democracy this is a very good thing to see.

I know that plenty of other organizations have tried in the past to use television’s advertising to try to entice us into getting out and exercising our constitutional right. Rock the Vote has done a decent job of this, and who else remembers the terrifying notion that Sean Combs tried to instill in us with his clever and morbid “Vote or Die.”

Last week we saw what I found to be the most surprising move of all with the airing of the 30 minute infomercial by the Obama campaign. The approach was simple of course with the show reaching out to those on Main Street (I’m still not sure what that means) to let them know that Barack Obama is the man with the plan who will be looking out for you AND America if he is elected as our nation’s President. This aired on three of the four major networks so you know it had to have cost a pretty penny.

I also have to say that Saturday Night Live has done a wonderful job of keeping trying to keep balance with their election coverage. Even though it is very clear that the Republican agenda is the one that is constantly getting smeared, they’ve countered that with appearances by both John McCain and Sarah Palin. It is only too bad that this election coverage has clearly drained the writers as all of the non-political skits this year have been rather dry.

If you are able I am sure you will be out Tuesday night and doing your part to vote in the election. All I can say is I hope you do because, well, there isn’t much on Tuesday night this week (there’s a ringing endorsement for why you should vote).

Now back to our regularly scheduling programming selections, already in progress.

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: I’m sure it isn’t enough pressure appearing on national television while trying to win a million dollars, but tonight the heat is cranked up on the Deal or No Deal contestants when they find they only have 20 seconds to accept or reject The Banker‘s offer. Someone is going to snap and attack Howie, I can feel it.

NICK ““ 8:00 PM: If you don’t have kids than you won’t care that tonight is the hour long Dora the Explorer special Dora Saves the Snow Princess. 10 to 1 I’ll be watching this tonight. I wonder how it ends?

CBS ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight on 2 and a Half Men Judith”¦ ok, seriously, who cares?

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: If you are like me and you have been disappointed in Heroes then I have good news, it’s not on tonight! Instead we get a few new political skits and retreading of skits from elections past with the Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash 2008.

TUESDAY

ELECTION NIGHT: It’s going to be strange for me watching the election results this year after the passing of Tim Russert. I can honestly say that it is the first election night that I’m nervous about. Does the success and future of our country hang on tonight? Will we look back and discover we truly voted for change, or did we put country first? See you on the other side.

AMC ““ 5:30 PM: Want to put the politics aside and watch an underdog with a heart of gold? Rocky followed by Rocky II.

COMEDY CENTRAL ““ 9:00 PM: I would be remiss if I didn’t mention tonight’s Futurama episode A Head in the Polls.

TBS ““ 11:00 PM: On FrankTV the impressions are great and the comedy isn’t, but tonight’s agenda is all political so there may be a laugh to be found as you either cheer or jeer the President-Elect.

WEDNESDAY

CW ““ 8:00 PM: An investigation on Bones leads to a former girlfriend of Angela being a suspect (oh yeah, you read it right).

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: Life is sandwiched tonight between the new Knight Rider and the returning Law & Order. Tune in.

PBS ““ 9:00 PM*: Fans of history and the stories of war would be very interested in watching Medal of Honor. No, it’s not about the video game, it is the stories told of some of the medal’s noteworthy recipients. *Check local listings for time

THURSDAY

CW ““ 8:00 PM: It’s back to the Phantom Zone tonight on Smallville so the show can wrap up the loose end that is Kara Kent (aka Super Girl).

NBC ““ 9:30 PM: If you have been watching NBC at all for the past few weeks then you know that Oprah makes a guest appearance on 30 Rock tonight. This might be something major but there’s a big name guest star every night the show is on for the month of November, so I guess Ms. O is just kicking it all off.

MTV ““ 10:00 PM: Here’s the pitch: A rapper from the hard streets mentors a group with big ideas and no money to help them make it big like he did. Intrigued? 50 Cent: The Money and the Power. I don’t want to know what Fiddy does when you get booted off this show.

FRIDAY

E! ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight the E! True Hollywood Story takes a look at the crumbling of the Hogan family with the events leading up to the incarceration of Nick and Linda‘s decision to divorce.

CMT ““ 9:00 PM: Taylor Swift meets Def Leppard on on tonight’s CMT Crossroads.

NBC ““ 10:00 PM: If they keep showing two nights of Life a week they are going to run out of episodes before year end. Tonight Crews and Reese spend the blackest Friday of all looking for a killer in a mall the day after Thanksgiving.

SATURDAY

COMEDY CENTRAL ““ 8:00 PM: I’m not sure what message Comedy Central is trying to send tonight. First they have Kevin James: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff followed by Ralphie May: Girth of a Nation all being followed by the Chris Farley classic Tommy Boy. Did someone order a super sized Saturday?

NICK ““ 8:00 PM: iCarly: iGo to Japan is on while iGo watch anything else but this.

MAX ““ 10:00 PM: Even though no teenager talks this way in real life, you can take in the Best Original Screen Play award winning Juno tonight. It’s quirky good.

NBC ““ 11:29 PM: A replay of James Franco’s hosting of SNL from earlier this year.

SUNDAY

NBC ““ 2:30 PM: Try watching the 2008 Paralympic Games and come up with an excuse why you can’t go to the gym. If you can actually come up with a reason than I would say follow this up with”¦

STYLE ““ 8:00 PM: A reality series about a 487 woman determined to change her weight and life on Ruby.

MSNBC ““ 9:00 PM: I don’t know if it is because I’m a San Francisco Bay Area native, but the Jonestown story always mystified and frightened me. 30 years later MSNBC is airing their documentary Witness to Jonestown that contains real footage from events as they unfurled.

HBO ““ 10:30 PM: The eight part Australian mockumentary Summer Heights High makes its US premiere tonight on HBO. This really is a must see.

– Will Wilkins urges you to go out and vote on Tuesday.

Hello TV viewers and welcome back to a spook-tackular week of television viewing.

To be blatantly honest, I’m writing this week’s column passed my deadline. Yes, I know it is a horrible thing to do however extrenuating circumstances some times lead to this happening so it is what it is. As such I’m now writing the column while I’m pondering if I’m really going to watch another hour of Heroes tonight.

In case you haven’t caught the jist of things yet, I have a very love/hate relationship with Heroes. The show had an intriguing beginning in the first season, which lead to almost an entire season of compelling episodes. The heat was on, Heroes was on fire and when the big conflict finally came in the season one finale we we amazed by… nothing. We were given an episode that gave us all of the Heroes in one place to face down Sylar and the fight was just weak.

Fanboys around the world would mostly agree that season 2 of Heroes started off boring, didn’t get much better, and the stike induced premature season finale was just there. We were left with plenty of unanswered questions and a feeling of emptyness where greatness once lived.

We’re already deep in to the first half of this season and so far there are more elements on the show that have me scratching my head instead of being entertained. I feel that I am watching a show that doesn’t really know what its purpose is any more. It has lost its way. All the while the show is getting killed in the ratings by Dancing with the Stars (as is everything else that airs opposite of it).

What I’m really trying to say is that I’m just not sure I even care about tuning in to the show tonight and it really makes me kind of sad.

Let’s get on to the fun stuff instead, shall we?

MONDAY

If you are like me and miss seeing Tony Hale as Buster Bluth than Monday is your lucky night! It’s a Tony Hale Two-fer if you are willing to channel hop (sorry, no Bluth to be seen).

NBC – 8:00 PM: Tony Hale guest stars on tonight’s episode of Chuck as an effeciency expert brought in to shape things up in the Buy More.

ABC – 9:30 PM: Tony Hale guest stars on Samantha Who? as a doctor. Does his fake hand hold the cure to retrograde amnesia? (Darnit, sorry, he’s not Buster Bluth. His hand is real.)

TUESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: Part of me is a bit phased by the fact that CBS no longer has a lock on all of the Peanuts specials, but part of me is still very happy to know that even with all that has gone wrong in the world we’ve still got It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown to look forward to. Is this a nice look back at a simpler time or a close study into the dementia of one little boy who believes in a benevolent pumpkin? You decide.

NBC – 8:00 PM: Apparently one contestant is going to lose more weight than an entire team of people on The Biggest Loser Families tonight. Either he really put up a sweat that week or everyone else stumbled into Sizzler.

CW – 8:00 PM: It’s like EVERYTHING is on at 8 PM tonight! Anyway, tonight 90210 finally returns after the overdose cliffhanger.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – NBC – CBS – 8:00 PM: It’s the Barack Obama: American Stories 30 minute infomercial. I think SNL‘s send up is all I need to see of this, unless someone is going to sing, “Solid as Barack.”

HIST – 10:00 PM: With a show named UFO Hunters you pretty much know what you are going to get. The question is do they do it for sport or food?

THURSDAY

NBC – 9:30 PM: I’ve been waiting a long time for tonight’s 30 Rock premiere, and I’m so glad it is here. Yes, NBC, I do in fact wanna get rocked.

NBC – 10:00 PM: If I tell you that Shane West is returning to ER tonight you might scratch your head. If I tell you the doctor that lost his legs is returning tonight you probably have a better clue.

FRIDAY

HIST – 6:00 PM*: The Haunted History of Halloween takes a look at practices of the past that lead to costumes and candy.

TVONE – 6:00PM*: Blacula and Scream Blacula Scream shown back to back.

CBS – 8:00 PM: Halloween falls right on the air day of Ghost Whisperer. Since she can talk to ghosts they are doing something special, right? Nope.

E! – 9:00 PM: The E! network brings us the scariest Halloween special of all: Star Jones: The E! True Hollywood Story.

TMC – 9:00 PM: Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror strikes fear in my heart with the name alone.

*Check local listings just to be sure.

SATURDAY

BBCA – 4 PM E / 1PM P: You can take the American out of Gladiators, but it’s the same show. British contestants just make it more polite with their accents.

AMC – 8:00 PM: The Stanley Kubrik version of The Shining is on one day too late to make it REALLY creepy.

NBC – 11:29 PM: This one threw me for a loop, Ben Affleck is hosting SNL. Is it too much to hope for a cameo from Jimmy Kimmel?

SUNDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Just in time to b elate for Halloween again, the ninteenth edition of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror! hits the airwaves. This year they’ll be destroying our fond memories with their own rendition of the Grand Pumpkin. Curl up with a bowl of candy and enjoy.

TNT – 8:00 PM: Witness bad hair and big thinking puzzle solving in The Da Vinci Code.

ABC – 8:00 PM: The Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team renovates a 200 year old farm house. Can you even renovate something that old?

– Will WIlkins hopes you are watching My Own Worst Enemy

Welcome back to another week of TV or Not TV. My name is Will Wilkins, and I’m not my own worst enemy.

Speaking of worst enemies, last week I got to take in the new NBC show My Own Worst Enemy. I never feel very good about shows that NBC forces down our throats over the summer in their commercial spots (a trend that goes back to the Mike O’Malley show and Suddenly Susan to name a few), but I was looking forward to My Own Worst Enemy. There was only one real reason I was looking forward to it and that reason has a name: Christian Slater. I have long thought that Christian Slater was one of the unsung heroes of the acting community that has the chops to do big things. Why he seemed to vanish could be due to elements in his past that have made him truly his own worst enemy (even though looking at his IMDB page he has worked consistenly since 1996’s Broken Arrow which is the last real big movie I remember him being in). Regardless of his low profile, seeing that he was in My Own Worst Enemy made me anticipate the premiere of this show inspite of its premise.

In My Own Worst Enemy we meet Henry Spivey.  Henry is a corporate efficiency consultant with a lovely wife, two kids, and he’s not  home a lot because his job appears to require a lot of travel. We also find out that, unbeknownst to Henry, he is also Edward Albright, a highly effective, efficient and lethal spy for a top secret government agency (aren’t they all?). This change happens when someone flips a high tech switch and super spy headquarters, at least it is supposed to. In the pilot we see that it is also now starting to happen without the switch. First Edward comes around in Henry’s bed, and Henry comes around when Edward is on a mission with a target in his sites.

When I first heard the concept I was leary of it because it seems that on the surface after you tell this story once in the pilot you have told the story over all (based on what we were told before it aired). Instead what you get is a very involving story with elements of shock and surprise. In the pilot we learn that Edward actually volunteered for this program, Henry is actually the constructed life and didn’t even exist 19 years prior. We also learn that the company Henry works for is just a cover for the spy agency, allowing them the cover they need to dispatch (and control) their operatives. Naturally, some of Henry‘s friends and co-workers are also agenst, as we learn from seeing Tom Grady (played by the aforementioned Mike O’Malley) at the office and Raymond in the spy world.

We also learned that the spies know about their cover lives, and their cover lives know nothing about them, with Henry being the now only exception. Yes, they can reset Henry so that he knows nothing about Edward but until he is “fixed” from switching when he isn’t supposed to that won’t really matter now will it?

Christian Slater puts in a great performance as both characters (just as I predicted he would) and he easily makes you believe that he is this high tech Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I also have to mention that the head of this mysterious agency is played wonderfully by Alfre Woodard, but then again that woman probably is capable of great acting even in her sleep.

Even though it has only been one episode I have to say that this show is probably one of the more promising of the new season and I encourage you to catch the pilot on line at NBC.com and then take in the new episode this week to make up your own mind.

Now let’s move on to other business and take a look at the week ahead.

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: If you couldn’t hear the stunt casting alarm going off it was probably because the “You’re 15 minutes of fame is way over” alert  was ringing too loudly as Nicole Richie is cast as a former high school nemesis of Sarah. That’s hot.

VH1 – 9:00 PM: The failure train continues to chug along as the guys who weren’t able to win the heart of the New York, who is the girl who couldn’t win the heart of Flavor Flav, get their own show. It’s really like seeing the evolutionary chart in reverse, isn’t it?

NBC – 10:00 PM: Because I went on about it so much above I feel obligated to point out that if you were able to stomach your way through Heroes you should really stick around for My Own Worst Enemy.

TUESDAY

FOX – 9:00 PM: A woman brings illness and death to everyone she encounters on Fringe. I think this lady has been on every flight I’ve ever taken.

ANIMAL PLANET – 10:00 PM: Wolf expert Shaun Ellis, who infiltrated a pack of wolves and lived among them, takes his girlfriend Helen Jeffs into the wild as she attempts to become a part of the pack as well in Living with the Wolf Man. The things some people do for love.

ABC – 10:00 PM: Another careful choice of stunt casting puts Katie Holmes on Eli Stone. I’m still not going to watch.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM E / 5:00 PM P: It’s Game 1 of the MLB World Series with the Philladelphia Phillies pitted against the Tampa Bay Rays. Seriously, who’s watching this if you live anywhere else in the US?

ABC – 8:00 PM: Wednesday’s stunt casting is done by David Arquette on tonight’s episode of Pushing Daisies. The show tries to balance it out by also having Debra Mooney in to play Emerson‘s famous mom.

CW – 9:00 PM: If you merged Devil Wears Prada with The Apprentice you still wouldn’t wind up with Stylista. Too bad The CW didn’t realize this because they are still airing the show. Oh well.

THURSDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM E / 5:00 PM P: It’s Game 2 of the MLB World Series and I could still care less about who wins.

NBC – 9:00 PM: Tonight The Office gets robbed, proving that crime truly is senseless. Hopefully it also proves funny, but my hopes aren’t high.

VH1 – 10:00 PM: The Season 2 premiere of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew has the return of Jeff Conaway as he is joined by Rodney King, Tawney Kitaen, Amber Smith, Shawn Stewart, Steven Adler, and Nikki McKibbin.  Sadly I bet no one under 20 recognizes more than two of those names.

FRIDAY

AMC – 8:00 PM: With less than two weeks until 10/31 you may want to get in the mood with the original Halloween. Triva note: the mask Michael Myers wears in the original is a Captain Kirk mask. Creepy huh?

FOX – 9:00 PM: American Idol alumni Constantine Maroulis appears on Don’t Forget the Lyrics for charity. The charity? Probably the Contstantine Maroulis Survival Fund.

NBC – 10:00 PM: A person put away last season escapes this week during an earthquake on Life. It’s nice of them to have a call back to previous season, and to see the show had a 21 percent surge in the ratings last week. Hopefully the momentum can continue because it is still one of my preferred shows.

SATURDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM E / 5:00 PM P: It’s Game 3 of the MLB World Series. I can only hope it ends with game 4.

HIST – 8:00 PM: It’s a four hour block of MonsterQuest tonight where they look for The Real Hobbit, Giant Killer Snakes, Boneless Horror and America’s Loch Ness Monster.

CARTOON NETWORK – 9:00 PM: Fans of The Batman animated series might enjoy tonights airing of The Batman vs. Dracula.

SUNDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM E / 5:00 PM P: It’s Game 4 of the MLB World Series. NBC‘s idea of counter programming is…

NBC – 8:00 PM: I can’t wait to see what the TV cut of The 40-Year-Old-Virgin is like.

AMC – 10:00 PM: Emmy Fave Mad Men has it’s second season finale tonight.

– Will Wilkins didn’t mention but is watching True Blood. Maybe you should to?

Greetings TV or Not TV readers! We’re now back after a brief intermission.

Now that the new TV season is back in full swing the first thing I have to talk about isn’t actually the shows themselves, but how to watch them. I know this may seem like  a simple enough concept, we turn on the television and we watch. This day and age, however, we have DVR’s assisting us in being able to record multiple channels at once. This leads to the wonderful vortex that is setting a “priority” for the shows that we watch, making sure that our DVR records exactly what we want to watch instead of the things that we may be less enthusiastic to watch. This is the scenario that I am in and believe it or not I am still not able to record everything I want to watch. How to get all of my TV in though?

Anything on FOX pretty much falls by the DVR wayside because of how well they use their online episode availability. The same can be said for ABC. Both networks provide great online viewing options with completely tolerable commercial interuptions, making the viewing experience almost as good as watching them on a TV screen.

I know a lot of people like utilizing iTunes for purchasing their television which would be beneficial for portable viewing, but for some reason I can’t stomach paying for shows that I may later end up buying on DVD/Blu-Ray. To each their own.

Enough of this prattle, let’s talk about what’s coming up on TV this week.

MONDAY

A lot of Monday falls in to the column I like to call, “Just how long do they think they can keep this going?”

NBC – 8:00 PM: Bryce is back on tonight’s episode of Chuck. This show is plucky enough to keep me wanting more each and every week even though it was one of last season’s concept shows that made me first start wondering how long they could keep it up. I didn’t get how a guy with info in his head that never gets any newer could be of use after a long while (kind of like the daily newspaper. Great on one day, less useful two months from now). Glad I was wrong.

TLC – 8:00 PM: Matt Roloff goes to Iraq to get medical attention for dwarf children on the season opener of Little People, Big World. Man, remember when this show was just about little people and a big farm?

ABC – 9:30 PM: Tonight Samantha, Who? returns and it is another one of last seasons contenders for “Just how long do they think they can keep this going?” The show is about an amnesiac who finds she didn’t like who she was and wants to live a better life with her new clean slate. The first season was entertaining, but just how long can you drag this concept out?

NBC – 10:00 PM:Christian Slater plays a man with two personalities: one a regular family man and the other a highly deadly assasin. If you feel like you heard this all before when you saw Total Recall then I’m right there with you. After the first episode how do you keep the ball rolling? We’ll just have to see how the first few episodes play out before we make a decision.

TUESDAY

FOX – 9:00 PM: We’ve had to wait two week’s to see how Olivia reacts when her supposedly deceased boyfriend and apparent traitor showed up at the end of the last episode. If the show has proven

ABC – 10:00 PM: Where will Eli Stone find himself now that his aneurysm has been removed? Apparently in psychiatrist Sigourney Weaver‘s care. Hey, at least it isn’t George Michael again.

WEDNESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: Olive enlists the help of the Pie Maker and the Detective to try to track down a killer in a convent. Have I mentioned how glad I am that this show is back?

ALL NETWORKS – 9PM E/6PM P: Another thrilling round of presidential debates. Too bad they won’t have Tom Brokaw squawking about time limits during this one. I’ve never seen a grown man make two presidential candidates look like bad school children so quickly.

COMEDY CENTRAL – 10:30 PM: David Alan Grier is the man behind the desk in the newest psuedo-news show on Comedy Central. The only thing that may be more cringe-worthy than actually watching the show is its titled: Chocolate News. Uh, ok… moving on.

THURSDAY

NBC – 9:00 PM: It’s Two Men and a Baby (well, kind of) with Michael and Dwight playing out birthing scenarios/techniques. How is Dwight going to fit in his quickie with Angela with so much else going on?

ABC – 10:00 PM: It’s the second week of Life on Mars and Sam tries to bring some 2008 policing skills to the 1973 crew. I know, I’m confused too.

FRIDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Crusoe kicks off it’s 13 episode run tonight. Action, adventure and adaptation. Check it out.

CBS – 9:00 PM: Bella continues looking up past loves on The Ex-List and I have to point out how this show is also another great member of the “Just how long do they think they can keep this going?” club.

E! – 9:00 PM: The E! True Hollywood Story is tempting fate and risking extreme anger of the entertainment gods as they look at Oprah. Considering her clout you just know this has to be more sanitized than Adrian Monk’s bathroom.

SATURDAY

CMT – 8:00 PM: Nothing says pure entertainment more than shuffling out the D-list celebrities and having them wail on each other. Todd Bridges, Nikki Ziering, Dennise Rodman, Tiffany, and Danny Bonaduce all grasp for the Championship (yeah right) Belt. This puts Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling on the must watch list for me (as well as winning this week’s aware for longest show title).

LIFETIME – 9:00 PM: Harry Connick Jr. and Angie Harmon tug at the heart strings in this recounting of one doctor’s goal of developing a drug for treating breast-cancer.

SUNDAY

HBO – 10:00 PM: I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the new season of Entourage. Still, I’m left to wonder if a line will be crossed tonight as Vince‘s studio exec nemesis is laid to rest and we know that Ari is trying to get him the part he wants in the film about firefighters. Just where does schmoozing at a funeral fall in the ettiquete guide?

SHO – 10:00 PM: The new season of Dexter is the freshest and most compelling yet. Tune in.

– I’m Will WIlkins and I approve of this column.

Hello everyone, my name is Will, and I’m a TV-aholic.

Even though contstant TV viewing is my obsession, right now I’m plenty distracted by in impending move (on October 1st no less). This means I’ve been packing when I should be watching and in far too rare of an instance watching when I should be packing.

What does this mean? It means I’ve got very little to say about TV from last week outside of what I said in the Morning After columns published last week. I encourage you to go back and read them if you haven’t already.

I will, however, comment on Desperate Housewives. I think it is a very interesting move by the producers to advance the story line of all characters by five years. Although this device isn’t completely original it is nice to add some mystery to characters that we already know instead of having to wonder about the blatanlty new characters we’ve been handed in previous seasons. That being said I think this approach also makes the show some what disjointing to watch and I’m not completly sure if I’ll be able to stick with it. We’ll see.

Now let’s go straight to the thick of it, shall we?

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: Chuck was one of the more surprisingly entertaining shows to premiere last season. I’ve been looking forward to its premiere, even though I still don’t understand how the information in Chuck’s head hasn’t already gotten stale. Heck, the stuff I knew even four days ago is useless today.

FOX – 8:00 PM: I don’t know how a cyborg can have an origin story but tonight we get one on for Cameron on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Let’s hope it’s not 42 minutes of footage of those automotive assembly line machines.

CBS – 8:30 PM: After last seasons great stunt casting of Britney Spears on How I Met Your Mother they follow up with another power house bit of stunt casting with… Regis Philbin? Um, ok.

TUESDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: The weight loss partners go to the Grand Canyon on The Biggest Loser: Families. Is it me or are they sending mixed signals taking the contestants to a place where sheer size is supposed to be beautiful and inspiring?

MTV – 10:00 PM: The only thing sadder about the fact that there is a show called Paris Hilton’s My New BFF are the people that you see on the show trying to actually be the winner.

WEDNESDAY

ABC – 8:00 PM: If you are like me you have been dying to hear Jim Dale narrate to us the goings on in the life of the Pie Maker on Pushing Daisies.

NBC – 9:00 PM: Another season of America’s Got Talent comes to an end tonight and yet again I must ask, is this title of this show accurate?

ABC – 10:00 PM: Dirty Sexy Money tries to come back full force tonight by adding Lucy Liu to the cast.

THURSDAY

ALL NETWORKS – 9:00 PM Eastern / 6:00 PM Pacific: It’s the Attack of the Veeps with the Vice Presidential candidates first televised debate.

FRIDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: Original TV prankster and Scream alumni Jamie Kennedy joins the cast of Ghost Whisperer as another person who can see dead people (not caused by a psycho with a knife).

CARTOON – 9:00 PM: Even though the screen version of Star Wars: The Clone Wars left a bad taste in many a fan boy mouth, the small screen version is more character driven and easier to chew on. We all just need to accept the fact that Lucas is making this for the kids, not us (as if the prequels didn’t let us know that enough).

CBS – 9:00 PM: The premiere of The Ex List is tonight and we get to see Bella (played by Elizabeth Reaser) chase down everyone she’s dated to try and find the Mr. Right that a psychic tells her she’s already gone out with. Naturally the psychic can’t give more details except that Bella has only one year to refind the guy.

SATURDAY

CMT – 9:00 PM: Six words always light up my heart, My Bid Redneck Wedding’s Season Premiere.

SHO – 11:00 PM: Louis C.K.: Chewed Up will give you stuff to laugh about if you are nearing or post-40.

SUNDAY

SHO – 9:00 PM: Really, do I need to tell you that you need to be watching Dexter? Our favorite serial killer is going to be a daddy for gosh sakes!

ABC – 9:00 PM: If you aren’t frustrated or baffled by last week’s Desperate Housewives then you can try to give it another shot tonight. I might be out after this one. Not sure.

Welcome back to another installment of The Morning After here at TV or Not TV. We’re taking a look at the television shows I was actually able to watch for Tuesday, September 23 and I won’t be holding back any info or any punches, so you have been warned.

SCIFI – Eureka: I’ve been a big fan of this quirky show since its inception two seasons ago and I’m very happy to say that the third season has been a real treat. Unlike the first two seasons they had a far less conspiracy laddened arc, the show was easy to follow, and you didn’t feel lost coming in at any point during the season. There was no mysterious “Artifact” that interfered with anything, no one travelled through time, and the heavy we thought we had in Eva Thorne was actually just a character trying to put the past to rest while trying to protect the present. What I am trying to say is the Eureka did what it does best; keeping a semi-jubelent spirit in the face of its typical dire “save us from disaster” story line.

CW – 90210: Yes, I originally watched the pilot because I was a part of the generation that saw the birth of the original. Yes I kept watching because it had elements that made me curious. Yes I wish I could blame my wife for the fact that we watched this last night, but sadly I’m the one that started it playing.

The great thing about this show is just how unreal it is compared to real life. The musical that is being put on is clearly something that 1) would never be performed in a public school and 2) had production values far above any high school musical you’ve seen in high school.

The drama is typical teen drama that has had an extreme boost of steroids. It’s so roided up I’m surprised the show isn’t falling apart from roid rage. At least that is what I choose to believe because I just want to believe that teens this days aren’t this evil and devious.

CBS – The Mentalist: I did not watch The Mentalist this week because I wanted to, I watched it to be fair as I’ve given it two not-so-glowing unseen commentaries. I’m very happy to say that, at least based on the pilot, we’ve got a very entertaining crime drama that surprisingly has heart.

To catch you up, Patrick Jane (played by Simon Baker) is a former phony psychic who clearly gained fame and fortune from utilizing his very keen sense of perception and insight into human behaviour. When we meet the character he is smug, he has an air of superiority about him, and we aren’t really sure if we want to like him or dislike him for what it is he can do.

This sentiment carries throughout the entire show and doesn’t distill until the final moments. As with any story where you find that someone who had it all and seems to have given it up to help catch the bad guys, we discover an injured and empty man and we are provided with an answer as to why he is how he now is. It turns out that Jane said some very negative things (while he was still a “psychic”) about an un-caught serial killer (Red John) on national television and his wife and daughter paid the price for these comments. The final moments of the show reveal to us that Jane now lives in the same home that his fame gained him, but all luxeries from that former life are gone. All he has is a place to sleep, a roof over his head and a constant reminder of what happened and why he must go on.

I admit that I was wrong about The Mentalist and I predict that I’ll probably enjoy it in the weeks to come. Hopefully you will too.

FOX – Fringe: I’m drinking a lot of coffee today because I just couldn’t go to sleep without watching Fringe. The show is extremely well structured and the characters are just so well played and balanced that I’m compelled to watch in the same way that I want to try to peek at my Christmas presents when they are under the tree. I’m still surprised, most of all, by the performance turned in every week by Joshua Jackson (formerly of Dawson’s Creek). This show helps fill the gap that X-Files left for me even before the show went off the air (oh, those last two seasons… ugh). Fringe is still very high on my recommendation list so if you havn’t watched it yet and you have time to kill get yourself to the FOX web site to get caught up on this show.

NBC – The Biggest Loser: Reviewing The Biggest Loser the day after will get repetitious to say the least, so I only mention it as I did actually watch the show. The only thing that I wish the network would do is stop making it a two hour event on a single night of television. It’s too much for my DVR and my watching schedule to handle! Split it up already, will ya?

DVR’d But Not Yet Watched: Thanks to the two hours of The Biggest Loser I’m going to have to wait to watch Law and Order: SVU. Thank goodness for weekends.

So there it is, the shows I watched and what I thought. Take from them what you will, and I’ll catch back here tomorrow.

– Will Wilkins really hopes it isn’t true that TV rots your brain.

Greetings again faithful readers and television enthusiasts (sounds a lot more active if I call us enthusiasts doesn’t it?). Welcome to a new addition to the TV or Not TV experience where I talk about the shows that I was able to watch the night before and give you my take on how well they played out. This will, sadly, give you great embarrassing insight in to how much television I’m actually able to watch. These tidbits could be short or they could be detailed. They will not attempt to hide information so if you haven’t watched a show I did know that you might read something you don’t want to know yet (commonly known as a spoiler) so read at your own risk.

CBS – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: I’m a fan of HIMYM and last nights episode delivered in every way that we love the show. Neil Patrick Harris stole every scene that he was in (as I predicted) with him confronting his feelings for Robin, Ted got the answer of yes from Stella (guest star Sarah Chalke) and then was hung up on the fact that he knows so little about his new fiance. My only complaint about episode is the use of Star Wars as Ted’s favorite movie of all time and his dependance on Stella having to love the movie too. As a 22 minute comedy the show delivered.

NBC – HEROES: OK, so Heroes finally returned last night and NBC tried to make it the event of the week with a special red carpet one hour “let’s get everyone caught up on Heroes since we’ve been off the air for so long” special leading in to the premiere (which I didn’t watch a minute of). This is probably the hardst thing for me to write because, for me, the two hours of Heroes that we were presented with just oozed of absurdity to the point that the show went from compelling to unwatchable.

The show started off exactly where it should and we find out who the shooter of Nathan Petrelli was in last seasons finale. Sylar tracks down Claire and finally gets her power (without killing her unlike all of his previous victims whom he stole powers from), after being stopped by a louvered door that my grandmother could have taken apart, and may have turned off Claire’s ability to feel pain in the process. Those two elements were the parts that were compelling for me. Everything else? Not so much.

The absurdity first starts with Mohinder possibly finding the source of abilities and discovering a way to give regular people powers. Naturally he does what any responsible man of science does and uses his new syrum on himself. This in itself isn’t absurd, but what follows does because the repurcussions of this act seem to be a flat-out ripoff of the Jeff Goldblum remake of The Fly. Mohinder finds himself, just like Brundle-Fly, with greater strength, increased agility, the ability to climb walls and he does the nasty with someone right after he discovers all this. I was completely amazed at such a blatant lifting of material and I was even more shocked when it continued as Mohinder woke up and discovered his back is apparently peeling large scales of skin… yeah… body parts… coming off… Brundle-Fly.

The comic-relief duo of Hiro and Ando get a super-sonic adversary who some how knows the very instant that Hiro disregards everything that he is told and takes one half of a piece of paper containing a formula that if into the wrong hands can destroy the world (hey, here’s a thought… burn the paper if it is so dangerous and don’t make anyone have to be the watchman for any great secret… duh). Worst of all we learn that Hiro will be killed by a electric beam throwing Ando in the future over this same piece of paper (Well, at least Ando is now alive in the future and not dead as we previously saw in previous seasons).

Nathan Petrelli, upon cheating death, now is saddled with a vision of Linderman that only he can see, which just wreaks of another lift similar to Baltar’s mental Number Six on Battlestar Galactica. He believes his cheating death is the act of God and he’s now going to spread the good word and help those that need it. He’s also been offered a senate seat by the state of New Yorks Governor (played by Bruce Boxleitner) and the offer is delivered by someone that looks like Niki, sounds like Niki but isn’t Niki. OK. Whatever. You lost me in this episode already when we found out…

Peter Petrelli proves once again to be one of the worst characters of this entire series. The sympathetic ability sponge is the one who came back from the future in order to stop his brother from telling the world about super-powered individuals by doing what anyone of us would do, talking it out with his bro… no, wait, shooting him. When he was chased by his present-day self after the shooting he some how put that present-day self “inside” the body of a prisoner on Level 5 of “the Company” (the place where all the bad people with powers get locked up) to keep him safe (by surrounding him with all the bad people) while he figures out what to do. He also starts playing with strings of yarn like the future version of Hiro that we saw in Season 1. His mom also keeps telling him to go back where he came from because his presence in his past (our present) is mucking time up in a big way. Confused? Don’t be too hard on yourself because any time you get into time you get into paradox and confusion (like how can he be here in the past if he travelled from a future that doesn’t exist because his interference changed things… head hurting yet?).

I could break this down for you further but the long and short of it is first two hours of this season didn’t do a lot for me and the show is going to have to do a lot to keep me as a viewer. The primary problem with these two episodes was that they were doomed to fail because they were written by the show’s creator, Tim Kring. So far he has written every episode in the show that I have had problems with. Tim, you’re an idea man… let other people do the writing for you, ok?

CBS – Worst Week: Well, if you saw the commercials all summer long advertising Worst Week than you pretty much have already seen the first episode. The show suffers from what I originally thought it would: the fact that all of these bad things are perpetuated/continued by the lead character is fundamentally unbelievable. I’m not saying it isn’t entertaining, I’m just saying I don’t like watching people be really uncomfortable and that is the core of what this show is about. I’ll give it another week or two to reserve final judgement.

That’s all I was able to cram in to a single night of viewing. Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles and Prison Break are both going to have to wait until I have more viewing time, which as you can see from above isn’t much.

Tune in tomorrow as I give you my take on the shows that I was able to watch tonight.

– Will WIlkins watched far too much television last night.

In wishing you all a hearty welcome back to TV or Not TV this week I almost feel as though I’m saying it to TV in general.

For someone who writes about television this week is just an incredible week. No matter what night you turn the TV on (well, except for poor Friday and Saturday nigt… the red-headed step children of TV viewing) there is something to watch. Comedy, drama and pure trash await you at ever turn.

You know what, I’m so excited about this week let’s just get to the good stuff!

MONDAY

CBS – 8:30 PM: There was a very sublte moment in the season finale of last year’s How I Met Your Mother where womanizing Barney had a brief longing look at Robin, whom he had slept with a few episodes before. Wait, wasn’t this Ted’s story about how he met the mother of his kids? Aw heck, who cares, Neil Patrick Harris steals the damn show anyway.

NBC – 9:00 PM: If you attended Comi-con this year and sat in on the Heroes panel than you already saw what everyone else has been waiting anxiously to see. The show’s creator, Tim Kring, promises the pace will be faster, the action bigger, and he’s actually learned from the mistakes of the past. I’m in.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on House the quirky Doctor and his team have to figure out why different recipients of organs from the same donor are all dying. I only bring this up because the life they are trying to save is played by Felicia Day from The Guild and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

NBC – 8:00 PM: If you caught the season premiere last week of The Biggest Loser: Families than you saw that two of the dads in the families are so unfit that they are limited in exercise/participation. Tonight that continues and the contestants face the dreaded week 2 of weigh-ins, which typically have been incredible small compared to the week prior.

SCIFI – 9:00 PM: The ads for tonight’s episode of Eureka describe it as the mid-season finale. Normally this would be the time we were saying bye-bye to the show for another year, so it’s exciting to hear that in January we’ll start to see new episodes. If you’ve followed the show than tonight is clearly a must-see night. If you haven’t followed it I’d recommending tuning in at 8 PM instead and watching the previous week’s episode before this one.

CBS – 9:00 PM: Tonight we get to find out what it is like when you pull the comedy out of USA Network’s Psych with the premiere of The Mentalist.

WEDNESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on Bones former lab man Zack pulls a Hannibal Lecter and helps the crew from his psychiatric ward on their current case.

NBC – 8:00 PM: We finally get to see how the new Knight Rider holds up in its regular one hour format. Here is hoping it comes off much better than last year’s Ford commercial disguised as a show.

CBS – 8:30 PM: Gary Unmarried premieres and I’ll be watching to see if it is better than the preview lead me to believe.

NBC – 10:00 PM: Season of 2 of Lipstick Jungle is here, and men across the nation will find something else to watch right now.

THURSDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: The Good: My Name is Earl is back and Earl is actually working from his list again. The Office follows at 9 and has plenty of potential to bring us lots of laughs. The Bad: Both shows are an hour tonight and these one hour episodes always feel about 22 minutes too long instead of 22 minutes more funny.

ABC – 8:00 PM: Ugly Betty is back and I’ve still got my Man Card as I have yet to see a single episode. Lindsey Lohan will be reprising her roll from the end of last season, but it’s still not enough to get me to finally tune in.

CW – 8:00 PM: If you watched the season premiere of Smallville last week than you are probably wondering, like I am, why the show came back for another season and we’re having to wait for Reaper to get it’s mid-season time slot. Me thinks things do not bode well for the CW.

NBC – 10:00 PM: It is the beginning of the final season of ER. I can’t beleive this show has been around for a year longer than I’ve been married.

FRIDAY

PICK A NETWORK – 9:00 PM Eastern / 6:00 PM Pacific: For the first time in a long time I’m actually excited to see a Presidential Debate. Too bad they can’t just settle things the right way: Thunderdome!

Sorry, the networks don’t know how to recover from this so there’s just nothing else to really talk about for this day. I do find it funny that Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare is on the Independant Film Channel tonight. Didn’t see that one coming.

SATURDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: If you missed the season premiere of Heroes than you get a second chance tonight. Hopefully it was so good you just had to come back for seconds tonight.

TLC – 10:00 PM: I love the way that Trading Spaces sounds more like an episode of Dr. Phil lately. Tonight two sisters will vie for mommy’s affection as they try to renovate two rooms.

SUNDAY

ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, go ahead and revoke that previously mentioned Man Card. I’ll be sitting there at 8:59 PM anxious to see what is going on tonight on Desperate Housewives.

SHO – 9:00 PM: Thank gosh there is such thing as a DVR because I’d have hated having to choose between the ladies of Wysteria Lane and my favorite sociopath Dexter.

ABC – 10:00 PM: My wife will be excited that Brothers & Sisters also returns tonight. By this time I’ll be watching Dexter.

– Will Wilkins never actually had a Man Card.

Greetings TV viewers! Welcome to another week of TV or Not TV where we will now turn our attention to the peacock to see what NBC has to offer in the way of new shows for the fall season.

Since I am a TV critic who has no TV critic clout I will be reviewing this season based on solely on the information available through NBC.com. Ill informed way to critique? Yes. Do I care? Not so much.

America’s Toughest Jobs (Premieres 8/25) ““America’s Toughest Jobs throws 13 people into the toughest and most extreme jobs out there. The show is brought to us by creator/executive producer Thom Beers (“˜Deadliest Catch,’ “˜Ice Road Truckers‘) so you can bet the contestants are at some point going to be driving on frozen roads. Each week someone gets canned and the annual salary gets thrown in to the winning pot. If you like seeing people suffer from the comfort of your couch than you should enjoy this one.

Knight Rider (Premieres 9/24) ““ Earlier this year the pilot of this series was shown and the ratings were decent enough for it to be developed into a series. Even though the connection to the original series was forced, this new show is at least true to the concept of the original. There are bad people in the world and one man can make a difference (as long as he has one tricked out high tech car). The most notable name on the cast is the voice of KITT who is played by Val Kilmer but that’s fine because the show is about the car. I still have to say proceed with caution because I’m sure most of the budget for the show is in the CGI of the vehicles effects.

Kath & Kim (Premieres 10/9) ““ So here’s the deal, the show with the same name in Australia is a big hit and someone is hoping to hit import gold a la The Office. They are trying to stack the show with talent by hiring Molly Shannon, Selma Blair, and John Michael Higgins. Shannon is the attractive divorce in middle-class suburbia whose daughter (Blair) moves back home after her own divorce. I’d watch it to see Higgins alone, but not all imports translate well. Proceed with caution.

My Own Worst Enemy (Premieres 10/13) ““ OK, so Christian Slater plays Henry, a mild mannered suburban dad. Christian Slater plays Edward, a highly lethal trained operative. Two people, same body, each unaware of the other until (I’m sure) the premiere of the show. I’m not sure which is the greater stretch: the show concept or that they are going to try to also sell us Mike O’Malley as the other incredible operative. Even if the show is good (with the recent announcement that James Cromwell just joined the cast it makes me think it is) I fear the concept alone will keep people away much like they did with last season’s Journeyman.

Crusoe (Premieres 10/17) ““ You’ve heard about the book Robinson Crusoe right? Well, in a very interesting literary turn of events the peacock is bringing us a 13 part mini-series that is saying it will be true to the literary vision of the source material. The concept sounds great, but we’ll have to wait and see the implementation.

Now that we’ve taken a glimpse in to the not-so-distant future it is time to set the Wayback machine and take a look at the really not-so-distant-future.

MONDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: Next week will be the two hour season premiere of Prison Break so tonight they are giving us the last two hours of last season so we can get all caught up. The first season was stellar, the second season was good, and the third season screamed of budget cuts. Here’s hoping the fourth season recaptures what worked and dumps what didn’t.

FX ““ 8:00 PM: They say you can never go home, and The Butterfly Effect kind of proved the point when time-travelling Ashton Kutcher changes things in his past and seems to keep screwing up his present. I really dug the movies concept but it’s a story that (even with the alternate ending) just didn’t know how to really wrap things up.

CMT ““ 8:00 PM: You can get caught up on everything you’ve missed so far tonight with re-airing of Gone Country 2.

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: As mentioned above, get ready to enjoy the pain and bruising that comes from 13 regular people taking on America’s Toughest Jobs. I still don’t get why they didn’t save the premiere for Labor Day (get it?).

MTV ““ 10:30 PM: When I first heard that My Super Sweet Sixteen had been Exiled I reveled at the thought of never having to see spoiled brats getting dreamed parties again. Turns out this is almost as good.

TUESDAY

ABC Family ““ 11:00 AM: If you didn’t see the first season of the quirky comedy Greek than set your DVR because they are showing the whole shebang today until the 9 PM premiere of season 2.

OXYGEN ““ 8:00 AM: If Greek is too sweet for you than here’s a real dose of sour with an all day marathon of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency that is building up to the 10 PM premiere of the new season. The show is a wonderful train wreck to watch as Janice never fails to freak out.

CW”“ 8:00 PM: I’m not one to really pimp repeats a lot but tonight’s Smallville, as corny as it is, gives us our comic nerd fix with a glimpse at the Justice League.

CW ““ 9:00 PM: Recommending another repeat? Yes, I am. Reaper replays its season finale where Sam has been targeted by the demon uprising and a shocking turn of events at the end of the show proves that one character may not be who (or what) we thought they were. Since Reaper could come back as soon as October I don’t feel bad recommending this to those that haven’t seen it.

WEDNESDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: Two hours of Bones gets us caught up for the premiere of the next season. I’m only mentioning it because it is probably my last chance to type Gormogon, which isn’t nearly as fun to type as it is to say.

DISC ““ 9:00 PM: Conspiracy theorists won’t like the fact that the MythBusters try to prove (or disprove) whether NASA faked the moon landing. This kind of bums me out because I really enjoy the show more when they blow stuff up.

THURSDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: If you’ve never watched an episode of Big Brother you can get an idea about how the show works when they go through every competition in one night that they usually do over the course of one week, and no one has a real chance to plot and scheme.

FX ““ 8:00 PM: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines may be the movie that the rest forget. Terminator Chronicles acts like it never happened and Terminator Salvation just occurs in the future and won’t have to reference it. If you watch it and expected a different ending, you may want to look at the title of the film one more time.

CHECK LISTINGS: Obama will be accepting the Democratic nomination at the Democratic National Convention (or the DNC for those with street cred). I’m going to tune in just to see how many times they cut to Hillary for a reaction shot.

FRIDAY

SCIFI ““ 8:00 AM: I’m a sucker for a Star Trek marathon but today’s 21 hour Star Trek: Enterprise marathon just baffles me. Shows are shown from all seasons, well out of order, and the show’s finale episode airs 12 hours before the marathon ends. What the heck guys?

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! (and lose two hours of your life you’ll wish you had back).

OXYGEN ““ 9:00 PM: Meet Joe Black and say goodbye to three hours of your life you’ll never have again.

SATURDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: I really liked Chuck last season and tonight the peacock re-airs the second episode from the first season, title Chuck vs. The Tango. How can you go wrong with a title like that?

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight on a very special COPS it’s 20 Years Caught on Tape. Societies deviants, delinquents and inebriated span two decades. Makes me feel good to be an American.

SUNDAY

A&E ““ 5:00 PM: It’s a six hour marathon of Gene Simmons Family Jewels. (I’ve tried four different ways to say that and they still all sounded dirty.)

TLC ““ 7:00 PM: Feeling guilty from this three days weekend’s barbeque feasts so far? TLC is in no way trying to help with Big as Life: Obesity in America followed by two hours of World’s Heaviest Man. Some one pass me another chicken wing.

CARTOON NETWORK ““ 11:30 PM: At only fifteen minutes it’s very hard for Robot Chicken to fill the void left by last week’s season finale of The Venture Brothers, but at least it tries.

– Will Wilkins is now kind of looking forward to My Own Worst Enemy.

Greetings TV viewers! Welcome to another week of TV or Not TV where we will turn our eye to the Eye network and peruse their offerings for the fall season.

Since I am a TV critic who has no TV critic clout I will be reviewing this season based on their one minute previews that are available over at CBS.com (hey, it’s all I have to work with). My criteria for all shows that you see me discussing will be: concept, cast and preview feedback.

Gary Unmarried ““ Jay Mohr is playing a newly divorced father who has to contend with kids, an ex-wife and the dating world. I’ve always been a fan of Jay Mohr so the show, which will be appropriately paired with The New Adventures of Old Christine, will at least get a viewing or two out of me. We’ve all seen the concept before so it will really come down to the writers and Mohr to carry the show.

The preview was a very bland example that was chuckle worthy. It makes me concerned that Mohr may just be phoning this one in so that he gets his check from his development deal.

The Ex-List ““ A woman is told by a palm reader that she has one year to find her one true love, which was someone that she formerly dated. Sounds like a somewhat interesting concept because you could have a limitless list of people that she dated, and with only 22 episodes a year you could pull of at least four years of episodes before the “˜in-show’ year is up. The concept itself is also limiting for the exact same reasons. The case, for me, is practically unknown so not much to draw me in there.

The preview was showed us NOTHING about the show itself. The lead character goes back to the palm reader for clarification on the terms of this prediction. It comes and goes like the wind.

Worst Week ““ Kyle Bornheimer plays Sam Briggs is planning a wedding and has a baby on the way. The problem? His ultra-conservative father-in-law to be (Kurtwood Smith) has no idea of any of this and Sam is a one man disaster every time he visits. It’s Meet the Parents without the lie detector. Can the concept hold up for 22 episodes AND more than one season? I’d doubt it.

The cast on this show is great. Bornheimer recently had a great string of cell phone commercials making incredibly awkward and funny phone messages to ladies, so this role is clearly written for him. Smith is great in all he does.

The preview, again, is very weak. I wonder who at CBS planned these out. We see the payoff to a joke (without seeing the joke) of Briggs in a plastic diaper having to borrow cab fare. Poor choice.

The Mentalist ““ A former psychic medium, who now admits his skills of observation and deduction were his “˜powers’, is now a detective using his skills to solve cases even if the rest of the investigative team doesn’t like him. The concept appears to be Psych but with more drama than laughs. Even with that type of change the concept intrigues me.

Simon Baker plays the lead and has the looks and charisma to carry the part. He’s surrounded by plenty of FOX television show alumni (Amanda Righetti, Robin Tunney) so cast wise this one is pretty solid.

The preview is by far one of the only good ones that CBS offers up. We see the strength of the character, the personality of the character, and we get a taste of the conflict within the investigative team. This is one of the few previews that made me really want to see the show.

Eleventh Hour: Dr. Jacob Hood (Rufus Sewell of The Illusionist) investigates science crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and he is always called in as the last line of defense in his pursuit of those that would abuse and misuse scientific discoveries or breakthroughs for their own gain. Lost? So am I?

This show is based on a British mini-series written by Stephen Gallagher and has been imported by uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer. Sewell has a very creepy vibe that really throws me off, so not sure about the casting.

The preview was absolutely dreadful. We see Hood brought in on what is clearly someone trying to perform cloning, but it gives us very little and gives me no desire at all to watch.

So, what have we learned from all this? I think that the first thing is you can’t provide a 60 second preview of a show and hope that it gives enough interest or buzz. If you are going to try to provide a 60 second preview make sure it actually has some substance instead of what comes off more as just a completely random offering.

Now that we talked about what is to come, let’s talk more about what is to come.

MONDAY

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: We get a look at the hell that is the future in tonight’s re-air of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: This isn’t a recommendation at all. It’s a warning. Avoid, at all costs, the Nicole Kidman/Will Ferrell movie Bewitched.

MTV ““ 10:00 PM: Drama-philes will be happy to know that The Hills‘ season premiere is tonight.

TUESDAY

FX ““ 8:00 PM: Enjoy The Hot Chick tonight as it is one of the few Rob Schneider films that actually entertains.

AMC ““ 8:00 PM: Robin Williams plays the straight man (har har) in his comedic coupling with Nathan Lane in The Birdcage.

WEDNESDAY

FOOD ““ 10:00 PM: New host Michael Symon has his first Dinner: Impossible task on Alcatraz. I guess for once prison food won’t be so bad.

THURSDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: My dream of a Big Brother 10 without the gravel voiced ex-Marine may come true tonight. Oh but to dream!

VH1 ““ 11:00 PM: Margaret Cho is back with her own reality show called The Cho Show. She calls it a reality sitcom, I just call it late night fun. If you like Kathy Griffin‘s Bravo show than this one is probably for you.

FRIDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: Two hours of Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? If you watch both hours, you’re probably not.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: The powerful (and unlikely) coupling of Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise along with a very powerful story makes for great entertainment in Collateral.

CMT ““ 8:00 PM: Last week I totally missed the premiere of the second season of Gone Country. This reality show takes people from all facets of entertainment and gives them the chance to compete for the opportunity to release a country single. This season has Jermaine Jackson, Irene Cara, Sean Young, Sebastian Bach and former American Idol contestant Mikalah Gordon (to name a few). Even if you don’t care for the music it’s good entertainment.

SATURDAY

MTV ““ 1:00 PM: You’ll still have to wait until the 25^th to see the show itself, but MTV is giving us the Exiled Launch Special along with a My Super Sweet 16 marathon. Oh, don’t know about Exiled? Imagine sending 8 of the most pampered of the Super Sweet 16-ers to locations all over the world to live with host families in placed like the Amazon, the Arctic Circle and the Andes Mountains? Best of all? Their parents signed them up for this. Oh yeah, there is karma after all.

HBO ““ 8:00 PM: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has enough bad stereo type jokes in it to now pronounce you slightly entertained. It’s better than nothing I suppose.

SUNDAY

NBC ““ 7:00 PM: Faster than you can say “˜Chinese gymnast scandal’ the Summer Olympics Closing Ceremony is already here. I’ll give a shiny fifty cent piece to the person spotting the lip synching singer this go around.

CARTOON NETWORK ““ 11:00 PM: The powerful third season of The Venture Brothers comes to a close tonight. If you are reading this and you haven’t seen the first part than get thyself to Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim and catch the two minute opening that wasn’t even on the original broadcast (while taking in the rest of the episode as well).

– Will Wilkins looks like the Mayor of Candy Land in his “˜speed suit.’

Summer for most people is a time of relaxation. Vacations are planned, kids are free from the burden of school, and days are care free.

On this particular day I’m not very fond of summer. August is the worst month when it comes to television watching normally because the networks all know that people are burning up their last remaining days for vacation. Things are even worse now with the Summer Olympic Games on in prime time every night. The other networks aren’t trying hard at all to counter program so this week’s choices look bleaker than an all you can eat vegetarian buffet.

In writing this week’s column I have literally sat through two entire movies just trying to find things that are worthwhile to recommend or watch. I have toiled over every single day, struggling my hardest to come up with something, heck ANYTHING to recommend. I am now officially counting down the days until the new fall programming kicks in and there are fun and exciting things to write about with new shows to be found by the handful.

Next week I will be happily reviewing one of the big four’s new show line ups, with each week subsequent cover another until we’ve gotten through them all. In other words, pleas stick around until next week.

With all that knowledge in hand, faithful reader, I thank you for dropping in and give you the poorly woven together tapestry that is this week’s viewing choices.

MONDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: I’m not really recommending Prison Break tonight. I’m just writing about it because I’m amazed that they are bringing the show’s repeats back smack dab in the middle of this last season. What the hell?!? I can only guess they are getting us back in to the swing of the show for its impending return.

NGC ““ 8:00 PM: NASA-philes may enjoy tonight’s showing of Secrets of the Moon Landings. Conspiracy theorists won’t enjoy it as this covers the hurdles the Apollo program had to overcome, not the faking of the

SCIFI ““ 10:00 PM: Die Hard and MacGyver meet Star Trek: The Next Generation with tonight’s episode titled Starship Mine. Picard brings down some intergalactic chop shop guys armed with nothing but a saddle and junk laying around the ship.

TUESDAY

NGC ““ 8:00 PM: A salvage expert attempts to reap the booty of the Whydah, the flag ship of Black Sam Bellamy and the first authenticated pirate ship in US waters, on The Pirate Code.

SCIFI ““ 9:00 PM: A robotic dog show and magma all on this week’s episode of Eureka.

BIO ““ 10:00 PM: Tonight on Truth Behind the Sitcom Scandals they take a look at the cast of Lost in Space. What dread hath Will Robinson wrought?

WEDNESDAY

FOOD ““ 10:00 PM: This is the last week to watch chef Robert Irvine on Dinner: Impossible! after he cooked up tall tales to dress up his resume, and was caught. Will the show still be as good with Iron Chef Michael Symon?

THURSDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: Someone else gets the boot on Big Brother 10. If nothing else I hope the retired Marine goes next week because his voice is like sand paper in my ears.

FRIDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: I was amazingly surprised how much I enjoyed the original Legally Blonde, and it holds up. How they ever thought that the sequel actually was a movie was beyond me. Who would have thought this would have lead to a musical?

USA ““ 9:00 PM: OK, for reals this time, Monk gets trapped on a submarine while investigating a murder. Whackiness ensues.

SATURDAY

FOX MOVIE CHANNEL ““ 5:00 PM: Phantom of the Paradise is a bizarre memory from my childhood that starts a three play marathon. The brain child of Brian DePalma this confusing story merges Phantom of the Opera, Faust and The Picture of Dorian Gray into one hallucinogenic storyline.

HBO ““9:00 PM: In No Reservations star Catherin-Zeta Jones plays a career centered chef who’s life changes when she has to be her young nieces guardian. Don’t care? Neither did movie goers.

SUNDAY

BBC America ““ 8:00 PM: Three women who feel very defined by their, um, attributes and the complications from having them are covered in My Big Breasts and Me.

VH1 ““ 10:00 PM: A roommate’s friend ends up couch surfing and taking over the living room and Brooke gets annoyed on Brooke Knows Best. Welcome to living with room mates kiddo.

A&E”“ 10:00 PM: Two hours of The Two Coreys.

– Will Wilkins is looking for another good book to get him through the week.

Some things in life are very shocking, and I have to admit that this week’s column about television is going to be lighter than normal. The reason why? Because of a book (I can already here the League of Television Critics rushing to revoke my membership).

Now that we are at least half way through all of my current must watch shows I will try my best to fill in what would otherwise be a bereft column with how I think these shows are doing.

Weeds: Sorry guys, I’m just not feeling it. The show has lost part of its soul, that thing that made it very entertaining and endearing. I tend to get this feeling after a show does something big to shake things up, and last season’s burning down of Agrestic reeked of it. Now the writers are left having to pick up the pieces and delivering us with sub-par stories compared to the first two seasons.

Burn Notice: It’s really hard for them to screw this show up. The thread that continues throughout the series (why Michael was burned) can easily play a back seat to the “˜week-to-week helping of those in need that have nowhere else to turn’ that drives the show. The lead is charming, the supporting cast is great, and the stories (so far) have been just as good as the first season. A solid performer.

Monk: Other than getting burned last week by the listings being inaccurate about what episode was airing I’m very pleased with this season. The episode with Monk being pit against a chess genius was the answer to my prayers in the way of old school Monk. Last week’s episode involving the lottery was equally entertaining. As usual, Monk is a solid performer.

Psych: Still not as much hyper-observation from the lead character as I would like, but the stories have been good. The week of the high school reunion played on the memories of every 30 something as it evoked elements from many of the John Hughes classic films.

The Venture Brothers: If you aren’t watching it, what the hell is wrong with you?!? I command you now to go out and get the first two seasons on DVD, watch them, and get caught up immediately! NOW! GO!

All that being said, let’s move on to the knitty-gritty.

MONDAY

G4 ““ 8:00 PM: It’s a marathon of Code Monkeys tonight. If you’ve never watched the show but loved playing video games in the 80’s than you should really watch this tonight.

LOGO ““ 8:00 PM: Small Town Gay Bar is a very touching documentary about bars that cater to the gay community trying to survive in the rural south. On paper this wasn’t my cup of tea but after seeing it I was very impressed with this documentary and the work that Malcolm Ingram did in directing.

SCIFI ““ 9:00 PM: Again here we are with me telling you about the two part episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. In Chain of Command Picard goes on a secret mission and is captured by the Cardassians. The most compelling part of the two is the latter episode that delves in to torture techniques and their effects on the tortured psyche. Patrick Stewart turns in an A-list performance.

VH1 ““ 10:00 PM: It’s like The Apprentice: Diddy Edition with I Want to Work for Diddy. 13 wannabes vie for a play on the Diddy Committee (what a pitty). Sorry, sometimes I just can’t help myself.

TUESDAY

OXYGEN ““ 8:00 AM: It’s a 16 hour marathon of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. If you start at the beginning by 5 PM you’ve seen it all. If you don’t, there’s plenty of hours to choose from.

AMC ““ 8:00 PM: I only bring up tonight’s airing of the John Wayne classic Hondo because it was the film that Al Bundy tried an entire episode of Married with Children to see.

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: The Baby Borrowers return for the Lessons Learned Town Hall Reunion Special.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of MonsterQuest is titled Vampires in America. I’m in.

THURSDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: The final part of the season finale for So You Think You Can Dance. I’m hoping Twitch wins just because of the name (and because it’s what I start to do if someone makes me watch the show).

TBS ““ 10:00 PM: P.J. is one of the “˜best men’ in Bobby‘s wedding on tonight’s season finale of My Boys.

FRIDAY

NBC ““ 7:30 PM: It’s the Olympic Opening Ceremonies tonight. It’s been a long, hard, protest ridden road to get to this point. Does it make me a hater of human rights if I actually decide to watch this? I’m torn.

Now let’s look at what everyone is trying to counter-program with!

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: The motion picture Hellboy. Well played, FOX.
FX ““ 8:00 PM: Another airing of Batman Begins. A reasonable attempt.
TNT ““ 8:00 PM: Matt Damon kicks more ass in The Bourne Supremacy.
USA ““ 9:00 PM: The network tries to stick to their guns with new episodes of Monk and Psych. (I’m still pissed at you guys about that submarine listing mishap”¦ I expect my apology in the form of a fruit basket or cookie-gram.)

SATURDAY

With the Olympics going on it’s like no one else is even trying to get viewers tonight.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: My nephew Jacob will be thrilled to know that Shark Tale will be on tonight.

LIFETIME ““ 9:00 PM: One network has the guts to put something new out tonight. The offering is a Lohan like story of rise and fall in True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet. The hook? After rehab the young starlet goes to the suburbs of Indiana to live with Valerie Bertinelli and lives life as a regular teenager to finish high school. What can I say, might be better than watching”¦

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight’s Olympics offering is Swimming.

SUNDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight’s Olympics offering is Basketball.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: FOX is making a very valiant effort in counter-programming against the Olympics with the re-airing of the entire first season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. You can catch it airing Sunday through Wednesday for the next three weeks. The show itself was pretty entertaining the first time around, even though the title character is probably the weakest out of the whole bunch. Too bad the first run was cut short by the Writer’s Strike.

TNT ““ 8:00 PM: Get your John McClane fix on with the original Die Hard and the repurposed Lethal Weapon sequel script Die Hard with a Vengeance.

– Will Wilkins still does Yippie-Kay-Yay Mother”¦ never mind.

Hello everyone. My name is Will Wilkins, and I love comi”¦um, I mean, television.

Now that we are easily over the hump of the summer slow-down it is nice to see that cable still has a few new choices for us to sample. This week, however, the main choices are on channels you may not usually peruse.

Tuesday night marks the return of Eureka on the Sci-Fi Channel. This is Eureka‘s third season and the show is one I would refer as good and quirky fun. If you aren’t familiar with the premise, I can break it down for you pretty well. A Federal Marshall (played by Colin Ferguson) ends up getting assigned duty as the Chief of Police for the small and hardly known town of Eureka. This town is actually the home of a massive government program to nurture the best minds of the country (and partially subsidized by questionable corporation Global Dynamics) so what you wind up with is a scientifically advanced micro-society that every week offers up a new type of mystery or problem for the Chief and the rest of the cast to solve.

Sunday night people will have to choose who they prefer more, Tommy Lee or Pamela Anderson with the premiere of both of their new shows at 10 PM. Tommy Lee will be facing off against rapper Ludacris to see who can affect he most change to going green on Planet Green’s Battleground Earth (not to be confused with the John Travolta flop Battlefield Earth). Pamela Anderson will be starring on the E! channel with her own reality show Pam: Girl on the Loose. I’m sure both channels are equally hard to find so good luck in making your pick in this face off of the former sex tape Titans.

Now let’s take a look at what else the week has to offer.

MONDAY

SCIFI ““ 9:00 PM: Star Trek: The Next Generation goes time tripping in the early days of San Francisco in Time’s Arrow, with both parts 1 and 2 airing tonight. I’m always a sucker for time travel stories, and this one was particularly interesting since it kicks off with Data‘s head being found in caves under the city. You also can’t resist a story that brings in none other than Samuel Clemens (or Mark Twain as he’s more commonly known).

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: Prehistoric Monsters Unleashed using CGI, location footage and scientific input to bring us some of the lesser known dino’s. One of them is the anomalocarus, which resembles a shrimp but is seven feet long. The closest thing I’ve seen to a shrimp that size was at the buffet at the Bellagio.

TUESDAY

CW ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight’s repeat of Reaper is one of my personal favorites from last season. Sam‘s gay demon neighbors want to exploit his relationship with the Devil to try to trap the Father of Lies. Seeing as how with no Devil there’s no show, you can imagine how this might end up.

AMC ““ 8:00 PM: One of the few tolerable Jean-Claude Van Damme movies airs tonight. Timecop was a good idea that was well executed and stays entertaining from beginning to end.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: Paleontologists bring us a look at a prehistoric cannibalistic predator from the island of Madagascar on the series premiere of Jurassic Fight Club. Now there is a show with a name that can really grab ya!

SCIFI ““ 9:00 PM: As mentioned above, it’s the season premiere of Eureka. The show returns with the hunt for a drone that is on the loose (not to be confused with Pamela Anderson’s Girl on the Loose).

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: Baby Borrowers ends its run tonight with the teen parents now caring for the elderly. This one is bound to tug at your heart strings.

A&E ““ 10:00 PM: Although his stuff is not my cup of tea, Criss Angel’s Mind Freak has its first ever live show where Criss is trying to escape from locks and chains in a building set to implode. I’m not sure who to root for.

THURSDAY

FX ““ 8:00 PM: If you have been living under a rock or you’ve just awoke from a coma and need to get caught up on all the hype you can watch Batman Begins tonight and then see The Dark Knight at your local mega-plex tomorrow.

FRIDAY

USA ““ 9:00 PM: Monk is sunk as he investigates a murder aboard a submarine. It’s claustraphobitastic!

SCIFI ““ 8:30 PM: In the much hyped season finale of Doctor Who we find out what happens to the injured and much loved Time Lord as he had begun to regenerate in the last episode. US fan’s have had to wait a month to see this, as it already aired in the UK on July 5^th, so enjoy.

SATURDAY

I’ve been looking at the schedule for the past hour. After all that time I can only come up with one recommendation”¦

STARZ ““ 9:00 PM: Gone Baby Gone is the directorial debut of Ben Affleck. It also just happens to be a stellar film with outstanding performances given by the entire cast. If you have Starz I highly recommend that you watch this film.

SUNDAY

VH1 ““ 10:00 PM: You knew it would happen sooner than later. Hulk Hogan accompanies his daughter to Spring Break on a very special Brooke Knows Best.

Planet Green ““ 10:00 PM: As mentioned above, it’s Tommy Lee vs. Ludacris as they try to make the world a greener place in Battleground Earth.

E! ““ 10:00 PM: Also mentioned above, Pamela Anderson is once again in front of the lens with her reality show Pam: Girl on the Loose.

– Will Wilkins needs to learn that you can’t keep making something sound better by making it end in ““tastic!

Welcome back everyone! It’s a new week filled with amazing possibilities (not really) worthy of your television viewing time.

Last week brought us the premiere of both Monk and Psych, even though both shows are only going to have a seven week run and won’t return until after January of 2009 (in other words before we know it they will be gone again). I don’t understand why USA keeps doing this type of scheduling but it seems to be working for them.

Monk delivered a very heartfelt episode while trying to recover from the loss of Stanley Kamel. They did a good job and I was entertained but I really miss some of the more complex mysteries that Monk used to solve like when an astronaut somehow murdered someone while up in orbit in outer space.

Psych is another show that I think is very entertaining but seems to have strayed far from the original concept that I enjoyed. Part of the attraction of the show was the fact that the lead character was what I would call a hyper-observant person that picked up on the details most of us would miss and uses them to solve the crime. Last season there really seemed to be far less observation and more silly theatrics. Here’s hoping they get me to eat my words.

Now, however, it is time to set aside my wordy observations and give you my much shorter picks for your watching week.

MONDAY

VH1 ““ 8:00 PM: If you missed both the premiere and second week of Brooke Knows Best than tonight you have a chance to get caught up.

HBO ““ 8:00 PM: Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal thought she had a great idea in starting a man-whore ranch for lady clientèle. Someone should have told her they already have these”¦ they are called New York Night Clubs. Thankfully HBO was there to capture it all go down in flames.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: With the record breaking box office of The Dark Knight I bet The History Channel is happy they already had Batman Tech lined up at 9 and Batman Unmasked: The Psychology of the Dark Knight at ten.

TUESDAY

FOX ““ 8:00 PM: Imagine you have a restaurant with bad food and bad service and someone sends Gordon Ramsey from Hell’s Kitchen is the one that comes in to fix it? No wonder the show is called Kitchen Nightmares.

CBS ““ 9:00 PM: In all seriousness, this is one of the better Big Brother seasons in a long time. It’s still not too late to get in to it.

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: This week the Baby Borrowers the teen parents get teen kids. I can already see the fireworks from over here.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: On MonsterQuest investigators hunt the dreaded animal vampire of legend, Chupacabra. I only bring this up because I love typing Chupacabra.

THURSDAY

G4 ““ 9:00 PM: Day 1 of coverage from The San Diego Comicon. It’s absolutely nothing like being there.

AMC ““ 10:30 PM: If you don’t know who Keyser Soze is than I highly recommend you finally watch The Usual Suspects.

FRIDAY

USA ““ 9:00 PM: Monk and Psych. “˜Nuff said?

G4 ““ 10:00 PM: Day 2 (and the final day) of G4‘s coverage of Comicon. Friday is a big day with lots going on so couldn’t hurt to watch as well.

SATURDAY

DISNEY ““ 2:00 PM: Get ready for the Hanna Montana mania with a marathon of the show before the 3D concert Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds. Get your 3D glasses in this week’s issue of TV guide if this is a must watch on your list.

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: Relive your childhood with the animated classic Peter Pan. Try not to cringe during the scenes with the Native Americans.

A&E ““ 8:00 PM: Proof that someone in programming has a sense of humor. The amazing and powerful The Last Samurai is followed by the laughable The Karate Kid, Part Two.

SUNDAY

DISNEY ““ 9:00 PM: With super hero and comic book movies all over the place you can take in one of the best super hero movies ever rendered with The Incredibles.

COMEDY CENTRAL ““ 8:00 PM & 9:00 PM: I love it when shows tie in to their own mythology and you can see the big set up happen on Futurama with Roswell That Ends Well at eight and the payoff in The Why of Fry at 9.

FOOD ““ 10:00 PM: The big winner is chosen on The Next Food Network Star. You can actually start watching at 8 PM to see the final four get taken down to the final 2. I highly suggest snacking well before watching.

VH1 ““ 10:00 PM: Brooke throws a house party in order to spend time with a cute kite surfer clearly showing that the name of the show may not be right on Brooke Knows Best . Wasn’t this a story line from Three’s Company?

– Will Wilkins is not the Next Food Network Star.

Summer is still moving along and the options for things to watch still aren’t very strong.

Last week I wrote about my excitement on the beginning of another season of Big Brother. With season 10 they’ve decided that the big twist for this season is that there would be, in fact, no big twist. Not one of the 13 players of the show (whom they call Houseguests) know each other or are related in any way, which is the first time in about seven seasons. No ex-girlfriends/boyfriends, no long lost relationships, no couples, nothing. Instead they decided to ratchet things back to the basics and just have 13 strangers that I am sure have been hand selected to produce conflict amongst each other.

Another thing unique about this season is that they cast the eldest Houseguest that they ever have, a 75 year old former Marine named Jerry who says he has a solid plan of attack after being a long time fan of the show. Unfortunately we were treated to the fact last night that his two choices for Houseguests to put up for eviction were ones that he didn’t even choose himself. This could mean he is either going with the flow to try to build trust with a group to ensure longevity or he is going to be easy to manipulate (and I really hope it is the former).

If you want to get in on the Big Brother action you have a bevy of choices as well. The show airs every Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The show also has a pay-to-watch live 24/7 Internet feed from the house and there is a daily talk show named “House Calls” that you can watch every weekday at 1 PM Eastern/10 AM Pacific at CBS.com.

All that being said, let’s get to the (not so) good stuff.

MONDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: The Bachelorette:Engagement Party tries to hang on to viewers for one more week with what is undoubtedly a flash back show with cocktails.

PLANET GREEN ““ 8:00 PM: Emeril Lagasse is back on television with his new show, Emeril Green.

TNT ““ 9:00 PM: The Closer returns tonight on TNT, along with a marathon leading up to the premiere that kicks off at noon.

TUESDAY

http://www.drhorrible.com ““ 12:01 AM: The first act of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog goes live for all to see.

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: This week on Celebrity Family Feud there’s a blue collar theme with Larry the Cable Guy and kin going up against Bill Engevall’s crew.

CBS ““ 9:00 PM: If you haven’t already read about it on the Internet you can find out who might be taken off of their nomination from eviction tonight when we see the veto competition and ceremony on Big Brother 10.

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: This week the Baby Borrowers the teen parents get their pre-teen kids.

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: Someone gets voted out on Big Brother 10 and by the end we might know who the new Head of Household is. I promise after this week I won’t highlight each day the show is on.

A&E ““ 8:00 PM: I’m not sure which is harder for Dog the Bounty Hunter, catching the bad guys on the run or rebounding from that phone message fiasco.

TVLAND ““ 10:00 PM: Ladies and gentlemen, the latest contender in the reality show ring is”¦ George Foreman with Family Foreman. Sales of those grills are going to skyrocket!

THURSDAY

http://www.drhorrible.com ““ 12:01 AM: The second act of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog goes live for all to see.

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: On Last Comic Standing the remaining comics have to fill shopping carts with props and will have Carrot Top judge the performances they do. I think I had a nightmare like this one.

USA ““ 10:00 PM: Last week’s episode of Burn Notice was very well structured and recovered well from last season’s cliff hanger. I’m hoping this week is just as good.

COMEDY CENTRAL ““ 10:00 PM: I knew that the New Millenium was missing something. A new incarnation of a 70’s classic is premiering tonight: The Gong Show with Dave Attell. It just won’t be the same without Chuck Barris.

FRIDAY

USA ““ 9:00 PM: Monk buys a house and Brad Garret guest stars. This show is bittersweet as we see Hector Elizondo join the cast as Monk‘s new therapist, replacing the late Stanley Kamel.

USA ““ 10:00 PM: The return of Psych brings us Cybil Sheppard as Shawn‘s Mom and Gus‘ boss demands he stop moonlighting (yes, I meant to do that) at the detective agency.

SATURDAY

http://www.drhorrible.com ““ 12:01 AM: The third and final act of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog goes live for all to see. Be sure to watch it before it’s gone!

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: On the Wonderful World of Disney we get another glimpse of The LL before implosion in Freaky Friday. No, I’ll never get tired of mocking the Lohan.

HIST ““ 8:00 PM: Sit down for a good laugh and enjoy Countdown to Armageddon.

CMTV ““ 10:30 PM: Feel so young and beautiful with the airing of the Elvis Presley classic Jailhouse Rock.

SUNDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: The week isn’t over yet so tune in and see who was nominated on Big Brother 10. Usually by now we also start to see the crazy coming out in people so it could be a real good ride.

VH1 ““ 10:00 PM: I can’t believe I let this one slip under my radar last week. Brooke Knows Best follows Brooke Hogan as she ventures out of the nest on her own to live her own life and manager her own career. Her mom is dropping in to check things out at the new pad and I’m dying to know if she is going to bring the 19 year old boyfriend.

A&E ““ 10:00 PM: On The Two Coreys it turns out that Haim is in a slump. What do you do with a former substance abusing child star who is feeling alone on Valentine’s Day? Hook him up with a Centerfold of course! This will end well, I’m sure.

– Will Wilkins truly could believe it’s not butter.

Ah, summer. Temperatures outside are running higher, television quality is running lower and we all depend on the local mega-plex and other destination entertainment to keep us occupied. What’s a TV critic to do?

Sadly one thing I have to do at this point is to state my dissatisfaction with the current season of Weeds. Don’t get me wrong, the show is still good. Right now I am sure that what I am suffering from is the not knowing of the vision of where the story is going. I’m not really feeling Nancy Botwin just being a drug mule, especially after her statement last season that she isn’t anyone’s bitch any more, yet here she is depending on her daily bread coming from moving drugs across the border for somebody else. I think that it also doesn’t help for me that she is currently on the DEA radar because there is, on the surface, only one inevitable conclusion which is her being busted. The good folk over at LOST and Heroes can be partially blamed for my early skepticism as both shows had second seasons that started off weak but (thankfully) got much better (LOST also had the same syndrome its third season and we have yet to see if Heroes will suffer the same mistake).

There is a shining star out there this week, a nice beacon of hope. That light is Burn Notice premiering on Thursday. Don’t miss it.

Let’s move on to the nitty-gritty”¦

MONDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: The Bachelorette makes her decision tonight. I’ll be on the edge of my seat I’m sure.

SHO ““ 10:00 PM: Since I rode it pretty hard above I have to say that there may be something to Weeds this week. The family sits shiva, Albert Brooks is at his last episode and I’m hoping things move more in a forward direction.

TUESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: This week on Celebrity Family Feud it’s all about Earl with the Hickey clan vs. the Camden County All-Stars. The second pairing is the cast of The Office vs. the American Gladiators. If they do all of this in character it could be outstanding. If not, it’s just a commercial masquerading as a show.

FOX ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight the final chef is chosen on Hell’s Kitchen. Here is hoping he makes someone cry anyway.

The CW ““ 9:00 PM: If you missed it the first time you can catch Jamie Kennedy’s guest spot on Reaper tonight as he plays a musician trying to sell his soul for fame.

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: Baby Borrowers just keeps getting better and better. The teens now have to deal with toddlers and one of the teens finally reaches the breaking point.

E!”“ 8:00 PM: Bask in the shallowness of the 30 Best and Worst Beach Bodies.

SCIFI ““ 10:00 PM: Tracy Morgan is the new host for this season of Scare Tactics. If he’s half as crazy as he comes off on 30 Rock this could be good.

THURSDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: It’s nothing but Last Comic Standing tonight as the 12 final contestants are chosen in the re-air of last week’s episode followed by speed round head to head laugh off’s between them to decide who gets immunity.

USA ““ 10:00 PM: Tonight is the return of last summer’s surprise hit Burn Notice. Even though the show is shot in Miami they figured out another way to turn up the heat by casting Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Hellfer.

FX ““ 8:00 PM: Don’t let the title fool you, Hellboy is a great story and a visual wonder to behold.

FRIDAY

USA ““ 11:00 AM: Get in the mood for next week’s season premiere of Monk with a nice marathon. You just can’t get enough of the Defective Detective.

TNT ““ 8:00 PM: Enjoy the touching tale of a father/daughter reunion after overcoming great adversity in ConAir.

SCIFI ““ 10:00 PM: It’s the season premiere of Stargate Atlantis. I don’t follow the show at all but thought you might like to be reminded.

SATURDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: On the Wonderful World of Disney we are treated to The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.

FOOD ““ 10:00 PM: The backyard isn’t just for men tonight on Grill Girls.

SUNDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: My big summer guilty pleasure, Big Brother, returns with it’s 10^th installment. There are a ton of reasons why I love this show starting with the loveable and extremely hate-able contestants, the rapid decline of the social structure and the rapid decline in the contestant’s paranoia. The only problem with the show is that there are usually too many people in the beginning, some of which are easy to confuse with the others. This edition they are at least promising us people of a greater age range and extremely conflicting beliefs/personalities. I predict that within another three seasons this show will just be booked by the same people that find guests for Jerry Springer, who you can catch on”¦

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: This year’s Miss Universe Pagent is hosted by Jerry Springer and Mel B who you can also catch on”¦

TLC ““ 9:00 PM: The Singing Office drops in on JetBlue and the Los Angeles Zoo to find their contestants for this week’s sing off.

– Will Wilkins can’t believe he tied all of Sunday together like that.

Welcome Will-Mart shoppers! Today we have a special on television viewing advice on Aisle 113.

As you will see in my recommendations below, the surprise of the week for me was the show Baby Borrowers on NBC. I remember being a teenager and thinking I knew everything and I know from life experience that I didn’t know squat. Seeing these kids digress from confident know-it-alls that think they are all grown up to (at times) defiant and crushed true teenagers is a wonder to watch. Seeing that they are also in for pure pain and suffering in the weeks to come with toddlers, teenagers and eventually senior adults makes me nothing but giddy for the future.

This week I’m also excited because July is finally here. The USA Network will be treating us to 16 new episodes in a new season of Burn Notice, Monk and Psych. The latter two will probably be having 8 of the 16 air in July/August with the remaining 8 airing in January/February 2009. I only wish they had the same confidence for The Dead Zone which I feel didn’t get a fair shake with a final season that clearly was compromised by a lowered budget.

Fans of TV mastermind Joss Whedon this week got some big news as well regarding the Internet only project Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. To quote the man himself:

It is time for us to change the face of Show Business as we know it. You know the old adage, “It’s Show Business ““ not Show Friends”? Well now it’s Show Friends. We did that. To Show Business. To show Show Business we mean business. (Also, there are now other businesses like it.)

ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!

“Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:

ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom.

I’m really looking forward to this project because I’ve loved all his work, I’ve worked with his brother Jed, and it’s starring Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day (who brought us the equally brilliant Internet project The Guild). This is definitely going to be something worth watching on your computer instead of spending time with the boob tube.

Now, what you all have (hopefully) been waiting for.

MONDAY

G4 ““ 8:00 PM: Code Monkeys steps in to the land of the creepy as Dave attempts to help Michael Jackson make a video game for his next album. Some jokes just don’t need telling, do they?

SCIFI ““ 9:00 PM: I know, you thought maybe THIS week I wouldn’t write a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode but I just can’t help it. The show of this hour is QPid where in Q puts the crew into Sherwood Forest, making Picard into Robin Hood. Not really the strongest episode, but how can you not be amused when things happen like Worf stating, “Captain, I protest! I am NOT a Merry Man!”

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: An in-depth look at the historical, scientific, and evolutionary importance to researchers a certain organic materials is in All About Dung.

TUESDAY

MTV ““ 8:00 PM: It’s a four hour marathon to thankfully bring us an end to the second season of A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila. This show is reason #42 why MySpace is bad, mmkay?

NBC ““ 10:00 PM*: This week on Celebrity Family Feud it’s Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy on The Sopranos) vs. the Bunnies from The Girls Next Door as well as Kathy Lee Gifford and company vs. Dogg the Bounty Hunter. I wonder if Dogg’s kid that sold the racist recording to the press will be on the panel? *Check local listings. Airing after MLB in some if not all markets.

OXYGEN ““ 8:00 PM: Get caught up on Tori & Dean:Home Sweet Hollywood by catching the two previous episodes before tonight’s all new episode at 10 PM.

WEDNESDAY

NBC ““ 8:00 PM: If you didn’t catch last week’s premiere episode of Baby Borrowers than you can watch it tonight along with the new episode at 9 when the couples get toddlers to replace their babies.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight even humans are on the menu as MonsterQuest takes a look at Super Rats. Don’t let the name fool you, these are no Mighty Mouse.

BRAVO ““ 10:00 PM: It’s a Bravo night crossover as the competitors on Shear Genius attempt to do the do’s of the diva’s from The Real Housewives of Orange County.

THURSDAY

CBS ““ 8:00 PM: It’s a night of polar opposites as Rosie O’Donnell and Tony Hawk try to help people win money on Celebrity Password.

Bravo ““ 10:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of Kathy Griffin:My Life on the D-List is titled Otters and Cubs and Bears”¦ Oh My! Trust me, it’s not a nature special.

CBS ““ 10:00 PM: Tonight on Swingtown a controversial film divides Bruce and Susan when Susan attends a fund-raiser for the star’s legal fund. I have a funny feeling the inspiration for the film and star rhymes with Reap Boat?

FRIDAY

FIREWORKS: Check your local listings, as many local stations tend to run their own broadcasts. On the national side of things NBC has the Macy’s 4^th of July Fireworks Spectacular and CBS is offering up the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular. The latter is conveniently scheduled at 10:00 PM, just in time for you get home from watching fireworks in your own area.

FMC ““ 6:00 AM E/3:00 AM P: Taking the name of the day literally, Fox Movie Channel gives us 24 hours of Will Smith kicking alien butt in Independence Day.

AMC ““ 8:00 PM: Nothing says summer fun like being afraid of the water. Both Jaws and Jaws 2 are back-to-back tonight.

HIST ““ 9:00 PM: Get too scared to leave your house by watching three hours of the show Gangland as it looks at the most violent and influential gangs in modern times.

SATURDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: We’re once again getting the Not So Wonderful World of Disney when they air Confessions of a Teen Age Drama Queen. At least you can see Lindsey Lohan before her eventual implosion.

A&E ““ 8:00 PM: Celebrate Christmas in July with the original Die Hard.

HIST ““ 8:00 PM: Tonight on the History Channel it’s a 4 hour marathon of MonsterQuest.

MAX ““ 10:00 PM: If yesterday’s marathon of Independence Day wasn’t to your liking than you can celebrate 4^th a day late while watching Live Free or Die Hard.

SUNDAY

NBC – 7:00 PM: This week’s U.S. Olympic Trials brings us more of those vying for a spot on the swimming teams as well as the track & field teams.

VH1 ““ 9:00 PM: VH1 finally cuts to the chase by bringing back their “All Star” contenders from their “of Love” casts to compete for what they really wanted all along, being on TV and trying to get some money with I Love Money! This time they are vying for $250,000 instead of Brett Michaels or Flavor Flav.

TLC ““ 9:00 PM: If you missed last week’s premiere of The Singing Office than you can take it in before tonight’s new episode at 10:00 PM.

COMEDY CENTRAL ““ 10:00 PM: All the fans of Dane Cook can take in his stand up special Vicious Circle.

– *Will Wilkins is on the side of Dr. Horrible.

Here we are again, same Will time, same Will channel.

There is no other way to put it folks, the week is bleak. Television doesn’t have a lot to offer us. As a matter of fact this week was so bad I was almost considering writing a book report in place of my regular column. I also considered writing about my desire to get a new iPhone when they come out, or even blogging about how much weight I’ve lost so far this year*. Instead, however, I sat down and took a long hard look at the schedule for the next week (mostly because I figured none of the others would actually get published here at the “˜Stop).

Last week I failed to mention the premiere of America’s Got Talent. This is the third season of the show, and last year the winner was a ventriloquist. Unlike American Idol this show will take people of any age doing anything that they claim is a talent. The contestants are a full spectrum starting out at bizarre and pathetic and ending in awe inspiring. If the campiness of the acts isn’t enough for you than you can’t help but enjoy the half-coherent judging done by David “The Hoff“ Hasselhoff.

We’re also four episodes in to the new season of The Venture Brothers on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim and so say that I’m extremely pleased and entertained would be putting it lightly. So far we’ve been given a glimpse into more of the history of the characters, complete with origin stories. I am only sad to think that we’re already a third of the way through this new season.

All of that being said, let me present to you the massive and steaming pile of shows for the upcoming week.

MONDAY

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of American Gladiators may be better (or worse) than thousands of dollars in therapy. Married couples take on the challenge. Unfortunately only one man and one woman can continue on to the semifinals, so there goes the potential for any progress.

SHO ““ 10:00 PM: Now that Nancy has settled in to her new digs on Weeds she’s going to have some fun at the border. Celia‘s going to be suffering in prison and I’m waiting eagerly to see this.

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Two hours of Hell’s Kitchen. Not a show to watch with the munchies.

NBC – 8:00 PM: Some things are so brilliant you dare not even dream about them. One such thing is Celebrity Family Feud, where Ice-T and his family goes up against Joan and Melissa Rivers and family to try to win money for charity. I’d like to formally request Miley Cyrus and family vs. The Kardashians.

FX ““ 10:00 PM: If you blink you may miss the first of the 10 minisodes of Rescue Me that they are offering up since the show won’t be back until 2009.

WEDNESDAY

ABC ““ 8:00 PM: If you’ve been wondering how far we’ve fallen as a society look no further than Wipeout. 24 people navigate an obstacle course specifically designed to make them fall and face plant constantly. What do you get for your pain? A one in four chance to win $50,000.

NBC ““ 9:00 PM: If you’ve dealt with a teenager lately then you know that they think they know everything. Tonight I’m hoping Baby Borrowers will be giving quite a few teenagers a dose of reality.

ABC ““ 9:00 PM: ABC continues their suckfest with I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Once again people get abused, but this time they are gunning for $250,000. Hey, got to draw the line for your dignity somewhere, right?

CW – 9:00 PM: It’s the finale of Farmer Wants a Wife. Too bad it isn’t followed up by America Really Doesn’t Care.

THURSDAY

VH1 – 3:00 PM: Enjoy a marathon of the latest addition to the “I Love” series on VH1. Even though we’re only 9 years in (or 8 depending on who you argue with), they give us I Love the New Millennium (until 2007 anyway).

FX – 8:00 PM: I find that one of those polarizing films is Batman Begins. People seem to either like it or hate it. I’m part of the former.

SCIFI – 9:00 PM: Another great polarizer is M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable. Personally I think it would have been a greater film if you cut the “twist” at the end of the film.

FRIDAY

ABC- 8:00 PM: Tonight ABC attempts to beat the dead horse a bit more by bringing us their own dance based game show Dance Machine.

BRAVO – 9:00 PM: There is nothing funny about the film Broke Back Mountain, but the fact that it airs after the GLAAD Media Awards does make me chuckle.

AMC ““ 10:00 PM: Tune in to AMC to watch the movie that made us aware of what a modem is with WarGames. Perhaps a nice game of chess?

SATURDAY

ANIMAL PLANET – 7:00 PM: Hosted by Beth O (Howard Stern‘s fiancé), enjoy the World’s Ugliest Dog Competition before watching”¦

ANIMAL PLANET ““ 8:00 PM: A highlight show of the first season of Groomer Has It leads us in to the season finale at 9.

ABC – 8:00 PM: It’s the Not So Wonderful World of Disney when they present us with The Haunted Mansion.

E! – 8:00 PM: If you have three hours you can watch 60 of the 101 Most Unforgettable SNL Moments.

SUNDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: This week’s U.S. Olympic Trials brings us those vying for a spot on the swimming teams.

FX ““ 9:00 PM: A guilty pleasure that I have to watch every time it is on is Dodgeball:A True Underdog Study.

TCL ““ 9:00 PM: In The Singing Office former N’Sync-er Joey Fatone and ex-Spice Girl Mel B. drop in on offices and hold singing competitions to find untapped talent in the corporate world. Each episode they hit two offices and those selected have a sing off against each other. I like the idea, can’t wait to see the execution.

– *Will Wilkins has lost close to 30 pounds so far this year, in case you were wondering.