It’s odd but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a trailer that’s marked quite as tellingly that there was some “modification” of sorts going on with it.
I speak here of the trailer for EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. Now, by the time the original trailer was released I was all over this fairly well-covered flick’s promotional materials. The trailer, the very first incarnation, was fairly disappointing. It’s a whole lot of disappointing. It was ass.
My review today reflects the first trailer and, believe you me, I had to do extensive hunting on the Interwebs just to link right to the original as the studio behind the picture have done a pretty good job in replacing all remnants of it. It’s the weirdest thing because you take a look at the trailer listings on QuickTime.com and you see all the flicks all gathered together all nice and neat and then, bam, sticking out with its parenthesis is a nice little (Revised) indicator. Now, there are other trailers that have had a little revision but do I give two shits about OPEN SEASON’s trailer getting a little makeover? Nope.
I am, however, very interested in finding out what was changed from this motion picture starring the one woman who I know a lot of dudes are waiting to see hit the wall with great impact. Call be curious, call me bi-curious if you like, but I did a little hunting and found it wasn’t Jessica Simpson that was accentuated differently, it was Dane Cook. Cook was, instead of being on the same wedding cake tier as Dax (How The Hell I Keep Getting Parts Is A Mystery To Even My Agent) Shephard, elevated to the top layer and it seems to be a movie, now, of singular proportions: it’s a Cook/Simpson production. Whereas the first trailer kind of made it an open field for the person who would ultimately win the affections of Simpson the second trailer kind of concedes that there isn’t anyone alive that would believe Dax would ever be the one who she ends up with.
The movie evolved, in a matter of 2+ minutes, from being this wacky ensemble comedy to being a singular romantic comedy starring two of the biggest things to happen to Proactiv acne wash and MySpace. It’s a curious thing that there really isn’t any way to track the changes, to watch the evolution, of filmic advertising like this but I’m helping, nay, inviting, those who give a crap to check out both trailers and tell me what you think. I’m genuinely curious to get the opinion of those who can see how you can tell seemingly divergent stories with the same material. I guess, perhaps, it’s a function of the editorial process but it’s one that caught my eye and I felt like I wanted to share the consternation with someone else.
And speaking of frustration who else here just wants to see SNAKES ON A PLANE and get it over with?
It’s almost as if it’s this song that’s been stuck in there and it needs to be purged. I don’t know one way or the other if I am actually going to check out the cinematic event that some have said has defined the zeitgeist of the YouTube generation. Now, I don’t think I’d go that far but I will say, in all fairness to this flick’s production, that you just can’t put a price tag on the talents and comments some bloggers have given freely to this movie’s eventual delivery to the box office. Sure, you know all about it but who has really been doing the pimping, the studio or geeks who are doing the work for the studio?
And good for the them.
I would plunder nerds for all they’re worth too and it sounds like Samuel L. Jackson had himself a good idea of what he was doing when he signed on for this picture. The audio was collected just weeks ago from the San Diego Comic-Con and I do hope at least a couple of you click the link below to get an insider’s view of what in the hell Sam was thinking when he said “Fuck Yeah!” to this movie. You can think one way or the other about the film, groan as you realize how bad we need to just all collectively stop talking about this B-movie and get on with our filmic lives but this movie is a legitimate entry into the marketing hall-of-fame and I couldn’t agree more with fellow columnist Widgett Walls that I hope this movie does a financially better opening weekend than SUPERMAN RETURNS; it would be a great cap to this summer movie season.
So, enjoy the audio here of Samuel L. Jackson and Kenan Thompson; the latter of whom you can hear in great garbled detail just going off to some distant land where syllables, their meaning or auditory volume have no place. If you’d like to hear Kenan drop what may be the twist at the end of the movie without so much as a moment’s hesitation on his part I invite you to just stick with it and listen. Â
Roundtable interview with Samuel L. Jackson (MP3 Format)
Roundtable interview with Kenan Thompson (MP3 Format)
Director: Greg Coolidge
Cast: Jessica Simpson, Dane Cook, Efren Ramirez, Dax Shephard, Andy Dick, Tim Bagley, Brian George, Harland Williams
Release: October 6, 2006
Synopsis: Enter Zack Bradley (Dane Cook) and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), two ultra competitive Super Club workers whose ten years of employment have resulted in drastically different career paths. While Vince ““ with the aid of his trusty sidekick Jorge (Efren Ramirez) — has advanced to become head cashier and winner of 17 consecutive “E of M” awards, Zack is the ultimate slacker whose scruffy appearance and laid back attitude has made him popular with his colleagues, but kept him stuck in the lowly ranks of the store’s box boys. The duo’s longtime rivalry comes to a bitter head when Amy (Jessica Simpson) ““ a beautiful new cashier with a reputation of only dating “Employee of the Month” winners ““ transfers to the store, immediately becoming the object of both Zack and Vince’s affection and often comical gamesmanship.
View Trailer:
* Large (Windows Media. The *FIRST* trailer that started it all)
* Large (QuickTime. Noted “Trailer 2a”; whatever the hell that means…)
Prognosis: Negative. What a thankless, wretched, mind-numbing, soul-sucking, pride-swallowing thing it is to have to work retail at a retail store.
No, we’re not talking about having to navigate the perils of telling a customer that she looks fabulous in size seven chinos when it’s clear that m’lady needs to get a pair twice as large just to get sale. We’re talking here of having to work where consumables of all varieties are for sale. Where no one is above having to take the trash out or lifting cases of dog food or cleaning out the women’s crapper, including cleaning out and disposing of the used sanitary napkin holder.
Yeah, working in an environment like this for ten years makes me entirely suspicious of a woman like Jessica Simpson being able to hack it but this is the movies, right? Right. And working on that premise I guess I also have to assume she’s a legitimate actress as well. Sigh.
That said, I do appreciate the ease of which this trailer glides us into the misfit-run location this movie takes place in as it establishes, right from the start, that Dane is going to be the nice guy of the picture. Dax is, just as quick, established as the nemesis. There isn’t spectacular about this, there isn’t anything particularly remarkable about the laughs that are supposed to be induced by these two geeks. I know that what you’re supposed to be thinking after seeing the two of these comedic giants rip it up is that this is going to be a totally awesome fun-fun time at the movies. But, no, wait!
Cue “Gone Daddy Gone” by the Violent Femmes and slow-mo the camera as Jessica Simpson looks like humping the nearest phallic symbol.
Now, I’m no great storyteller, I seem capable of only critiquing the shortcomings of others, but the subsequent moments of Dane and Dax vying for the sensual attention of People Magazine’s Least-Likey-To-Engage-In-Manual-Labor are pretty bad. The premise of these two guys competing for the affections of a woman who gets all sorts of bothered at the idea of being with the man who becomes Employee of the Month is kind of, well, not very funny.
I’m really trying to be generous with noting little things during the second 2/3rds of this thing which are actually amusing, not feeling anything for the tennis ball being fired at Cook’s crotch, not really getting into the slapstick of a guy checking out groceries so hard that he falls off his feet, not especially keen over the gag where Dax finds his car put up onto a really high shelf inside the store, but there just isn’t anything to grab a hold of in this thing.
I am buoyed, though, at the romantic moments that we’re given between Cook and Simpson. While there isn’t anything ground-breaking I am thankful that the movie doesn’t look like a complete disaster. The two of them do seem to have something and it’s here where I think I got it: Dax is poisoning the well.
The moments where he’s on screen I am really not smiling and, when he’s not, I am a lot less surly about the potential of the movie. I wish I could say that this is an attempt to be amusing but I am feeling pretty sure that there is homogenously nothing that great about his comedic stylings. Not a one. He’s an albatross. Sure as I am about anything. Swear to God.
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Cast: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Charlie Hunnam, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Release: September 29, 2006
Synopsis: CHILDREN OF MEN envisages a world one generation from now that has fallen into anarchy on the heels of an infertility defect in the population. The world’s youngest citizen has just died at 18, and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction. Set against a backdrop of London torn apart by violence and warring nationalistic sects, CHILDREN OF MEN follows disillusioned bureaucrat Theo (Owen) as he becomes an unlikely champion of Earth’s survival. When the planet’s last remaining hope is threatened, this reluctant activist is forced to face his own demons and protect her from certain peril.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: Positive. I missed this panel at the Comic-Con.
I didn’t know anything about this movie’s existence before seeing the trailer here and now I wished I had stuck around to find out more.
Sometimes using talent from a film to do a narrative voiceover isn’t really the brightest thing to do, I can tell you that this may have something to do with why Fox Animation packed up shop shortly after the dismal Barrymore/Damon/Pullman/et al. packed up their crap and left Arizona, but Clive has proven that since CROUPIER he has a unique attraction with his pipes and it’s no different here.
“I can’t really remember when I last had any hope”¦”
The opening scenes are dismal. The cinematography delicately presents the moment that Clive is stuck in with the kind of presentation that makes you believe that he really is a man who has lost any sense of hope for anything beyond a secretive moment in a bathroom john with the latest issue of Mammories Monthly. This is about the time when Clive lets us in on the fact that women stopped having babies and about when people start pelting the crap out of the train Clive is riding.
Fast forward to 2027.
While it’s not quite as bleak as BLADE RUNNER, and not quite as Crest Whitestrip bright as Tom Cruise’s MINORITY REPORT, the way we start to discover the world that Clive is living in is by news report. We’re completely consumed by the Breaking News story about the youngest living male who ends up kicking the proverbial bucket. People are glued to the TV sets, Clive doesn’t really seem to care and I am just trying to wrap my head about what’s going on here. I love the tempo, I appreciate the slow dissemination of information and I like the minimalist score behind it all.
Then, SNAP, the ensuing explosion whips your attention away. It made me flinch, actually. I deserve a couple hits on the fleshy part of my arm for that. Good job.
“Our civilization is in chaos”
While Michael Caine offers the sage-like introspection about trying to help us all get a grip on how the world has gotten to the point where people are living in a police state the thieving of Clive by some super women’s lib organization seems like a great way to cut through the whole logical idea of helping a brother out by being clear as to why I should plop my money down. I’m actually impressed here with Julianne Moore, a feat that should surprise no one, but the fact that she is trying to get Owen’s help to get some little girl to some logistical point in this odd land hurts more than helps the cool factor of this film.
As a side note, while I really do appreciate the quick tempo music that pipes in when Clive’s lame existence goes south and when you are using cards to tell people what flicks the director has done before dropping his HARRY POTTER installment just incites laughs from me. It’s his movie and the marketing people can put in there what they want but just watch it go by then try and tell me you don’t find that amusing as all hell.
The subsequent moments of this trailer speed the thrust of the storyline right between our eyes but I’m not sure I still understand. It looks like a visually gripping movie and it’s plot seems to border on the intelligent side of wanton human destruction that’s going on. If I had to choose between this and anything else opening this weekend I would have no quandries about seeing this flick just based on the trailer.
THE FOUNTAIN (2006)
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn, Sean Gullette
Release: November 22, 2006
Synopsis: The Fountain is an odyssey about one man’s thousand-year struggle to save the woman he loves. As a 16th century Conquistador, a modern-day scientist, and a 26th century astronaut, he searches for the secret to eternal life.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: Where’s the passion from the teaser because it’s not here. I saw the money that was being asked for when it came to purchasing original art from THE FOUNTAIN graphic novel and I passed.
Quickly.
Really, there wasn’t even a moment’s contemplation. Kent Williams’ artwork captures the mood of what the thrust of this story is really all about and I can see why that not even pawning a used car would’ve been good enough to purchase a set of his pages.
After I finished with the book a couple of weeks ago, I just couldn’t stand idly by as people gushed over the finished film, I can say I was properly primed for Aronofsky’s vision.
I just don’t see why there is such a disconnect between me and the new trailer. I am just not feeling the passion between the pages that the novel evoked.
The teaser, for my free money, is just exquisite. At a very high level it gives you a taste of what this film could be, without telling you what it is, but it performs its job without so much as a wasted moment. But people were confused. The potential audience, people who don’t spend their waking hours on the web pages of Internet movie sites, would need more, though, I get that. What I don’t understand is the hollowness of the information that we’re given.
As things open, as it does in the book, on an ancient temple, the lightning and foreboding vibe that is supposed to be present just isn’t there; we’re too far removed from what’s happening. We’ve got an old guy working on the ground like some crazed latter-day gardener, sifting though the mud and soil like he’s looking for some truffles, and he’s telling us about a tree that will help you live forever if you drink its sap. Awesome. The problem is that the scene doesn’t feel as dire as it should be for a man on a mission like this.
“What if you could live forever?”
Okay, I’m all about cribbing the font style of the LORD OF THE RINGS but the rhetorical question of me wanting to live forever seems awfully disingenuous when we don’t know the reason why we should even care about anything that’s being shown thus far. We’re nearly a third of the way through this thing before Rachel Weisz, looking positively radiant, feeds us the brick that should’ve slam dunked us from the beginning. Hugh Jackman, looking all scraggly and haggard, and the queen have an instant connection and the moment they share is positively perfect. That’s what makes the misstep of the opening so shitty. You could’ve flipped the sequences without so much as missing a beat but we press on. Hugh presses on.
“2000 A.D.”
You believe what’s going on. You can feel the love between these two people as Hugh seems genuinely distressed and angry by the obvious implication here that there is something physically wrong about his wife. We establish that he’s a doctor, that he has found something that may help, but there is a feeling that a lot is squeezed into 2000 A.D. that it’s hard to keep track of all the variables of what’s happening here. I know because the book told me but the average schmoe has a lot to chew on in this time period.
“2500 A.D.”
Here is where things get a little trippy. Ok, a whole lot of trippy. I won’t even bother to try and break down what’s happening in this era but I don’t think anyone could in the seconds we’re given to digest things. It’s very metaphysical but, again, I think this just confuses people as to what in hell is happening. I can’t blame them.
“All flesh decays”¦”
The final moments, the ones that rely heavily on 1500 A.D., actually feel more cohesive than the whole. You can get the idea that this about living forever but if you can’t help me understand why I would need to see this confusing movie then why even spend the money on it? Yes, 35 million isn’t like the original budget but give this movie a fighting chance to make it all back.
Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gael Garcia Bernal, Koji Yakusho, Elle Fanning
Release: November 17, 2006
Synopsis: Armed with a Winchester rifle, two Morrocan boys set out to look after their family’s herd of goats. In the silent echoes of the desert, they decide to test the rifle”¦ but the bullet goes farther than they thought it would.
In an instant, the lives of four separate groups of strangers on three different continents collide. Caught up in the rising tide of an accident that escalates beyond anyone’s control are a vacationing American couple (Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett), a rebellious deaf Japanese teenager and her father, and a Mexican nanny who, without permission, takes two American children across the border. None of these strangers will ever meet; in spite of the sudden, unlikely connection between them, they will all remain isolated due to their own inability to communicate meaningfully with anyone around them.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: (GASP!) Very Positive. I had a friend in high school who had parents that went to Morocco.
I didn’t really understand why they went. The husband and wife had a modestly sized photo sitting on their large television which showed them dressed in traditional Moroccan garb as they sat in what looked like a multi-carpeted space and were sitting down on the floor. Didn’t look like much fun and I had visions of them having to endure the gastronomical goulash that Indiana Jones had to in TEMPLE OF DOOM; beetles, spiders and anything else that would’ve been swatted away here in America looked like it was fair game, literally, while it was washed down in tea cups the size of shot glasses. Yup, I was pretty damn cultured.
It honestly doesn’t help this trailer that I am thinking Brad and Cate are consuming the exact same thing I thought my friend’s parents had to eat while in Morocco. Seriously. Although, since I became a pretty hardcore devotee of IN THE ARMY NOW I’ve been able to allow myself to imagine that camels are Morocco’s prime source of getting to one place to another. Public education, people.
Now that we’ve gotten his out of the way I am a fan of this movie’s opening.
The music immediately grabs my attention. Brad and Cate really do seem like a couple but you know as this exchange is going on he’s thinking about Angelina and how crazy that chick is and why he just listen to his boys and just stone cold kick it in Malibu but is, instead, having to check his blood for parasites every other week while his crazy woman holes herself up in a place that doesn’t have running water but has all the available malaria he wants.
Anyway, back to the 4th wall of seeing Brad’s visage and being taken out of the moment when I see him here.
Before getting confused about why Gael Garcia Bernal all of a sudden shows up, I get a rather perverted, but much appreciated (high five”¦), shot of a couple of Japanese girls from behind as they sashay in this short skirts. Huh? Don’t know why, don’t care and am just happy being ignorant about what’s actually going on here but when a little kid lifts a rifle and takes a pot shot at a touring bus that is holding Pitt and Cate, Cate getting one right in the chest (makes me remember my youth and the wrist rocket that has no doubt changed a few lives, accidentally of course), I get it.
It’s one of those butterfly flapping its wings/how the world can change, kind of esoteric things, type of stories. I like Brad’s complete disorientation to try and help his lady but no one speaks his language (silly American), and how these events kind of all come together in a way that is really quite satisfying by the trailer’s end, but nothing can take away from the moment when the audience really gets at what this movie is aiming to do.
For all the easy shots at Brad this seems like another gem where Brad, unlike his bat shit crazy friend Cruise, is able to take exciting material and let it speak for itself, not inject his own spin on how it should come across.
As hard as I know some would like to believe I have been having a nice relationship going with this trailer. I think it’s story is very much germaine to today’s politics and even science fiction variables wherein it’s posited that should one person set in motion one simple event its effects are far-reaching to those who wouldn’t otherwise see the connection.
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Sure, you could read all about the process of what this absurd flick has done to the viral marketing community but that would take a lot of work on my part. In fact, it would take more time for me to transcribe this audio than it would for you to sit down, watch the movie, and then deal with the shame for having seen it. I didn’t feel like doing that but not for the sheer laziness that you might think. Yes, a little laziness, as you’re going to get Sam Jackson’s audio next week and I don’t even want to transcribe that but I think a movie like S.O.A.P exists solely for the fleeting moment that it’s going to have at the box office. It will go just as fast as it came and the audio here just snaps right through the energy involved in making this film. It’s all about the fun and no one understands this better than Sam, David and everyone else who made the film. Kenan Thompson, on the other hand, had a different kind of energy altogether, probably fueled by herbal supplementation, and you can listen to that next week.
Now, I would disclaim the audio quality but, eff it, I could understand David and snake wrangler Jules Sylvester just fine so if you can’t understand the questions the answers sure as hell come in loud and clear for your listening enjoyment. And while David is a pretty impassioned fellow it’s really Jules who was just a treat to listen to. The guy is a reptile fan and he’s just as happy about his profession as much as I was dreading of having to sit through 20 minutes with him. He made a fan out of me and I hope the audio gives you a glimmer about why that’s the case. Both of these guys made for some good audio and I hope you all remember who’s the lazy asshole who wanted to write a real column this week and not get hate mail for supplanting it with some transcriptions that you all would just peruse anyway.
Director: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Director: Ryan Murphy
Director: Christopher Nolan
You’ve no doubt seen all the up-the-minute, some literally up-to-the-second, coverage that happened on the floor in the convention halls. In the press section where I sat for many of the great panels on parade I could hear, in the quiet moments between really awkward questions, requests (“Can I give you a hug?” directed at the talent for 300 was, perhaps, the most painful) and pauses from geeks who just couldn’t get it together for their few seconds in the literal spotlight, I heard the click-clacks of live blogging.
I just look back at what 2006 yielded me for this site and while it’s easy to chalk it up to a bust, apart from the nerds I crushed and mauled getting a ticket to see BORAT, but there was some great roundtable moments that didn’t include socially retarded questioning from people who obviously had nothing else to offer a conversation but their ignorance.
I am, though, going to make the MP3’s of the roundtables available.
Director: Zackary Adler
Director: Aaron Russo
Director: Michel Gondry
The space erupted in cheers as he was introduced to the stage. When he ended up emerging from the ladies bathroom, and not from the hermetically sealed backstage that kept the steerage well away from the talent, in full character, donning his trademark suit, thick moustache and awkward smile, the masses ate up this bread and circus. His exaggerated attempts to take the stage, pratfalls and all, amused those entertained by such a thing but it wasn’t until Sacha gave his thumbs up and introduced two clips from the film that he really had a well-deserved stranglehold on the audience.
Thanks to whatever exercise plan I’ve been keeping to the past 13 years I was able to best most of the competition that was half my age but here I was, an adult of 31 years, participating in a free-for-all that I should have known better to even try or even cared about.
This film is ambitious because you can sense that this is a movie where you weren’t going to linger in any one place, something that hampers a lot of comedies in modern cinema. In a television show you are not afforded the luxury of meandering or winding your way to a limp punchline. BORAT understands this notion from the word “Go” and doesn’t relent. Perhaps one of the best examples of keeping immediacy with the audience’s attention spans, or lack of one, is when Sacha explains what it is that he enjoys about his village. The visual gags of “disco dancing” represented with a circle of grown men in the daylight hours, outside, and in full dress is still as funny as it was in the trailer. The other activities represented are also just as effective at setting a comedic tone. Nothing, however, could compare anyone to being introduced to an event that’s quite popular with the people he lives with in Kazakhstan: The Running of the Jew. Apart from knowing what’s coming as soon as this event is uttered, a throng of Borat’s countrymen blazing a trail as quickly as possible, what could prepare someone for the visual representation of a grotesquely oversized head, colored green, hideously shapen in a way that looks like a stand-in for the Green Goblin’s next appearance on film, donning stereotypical accoutrements of Borat’s natural born enemies? Nothing. Absolutely nothing and as you’re wiping the tears from your face, the scene pushing things even further with the inclusion of the town’s children doing something so heinous I am almost at a loss to describe it, you’re simultaneously ashamed at yourself for going along with it but you have to congratulate Sacha for executing an idea that he found intrinsically amusing, no matter how some would initially react to it, hoping we would too.
By the third or fourth time when you find yourself reacting to some of the events on the screen getting that, apart from the wafer thin conceit about Borat’s escapades across America to get to Pamela Anderson, one has to give credit to Sacha for being able to carry this one-dimensional character for the entire length of the movie without it ever seeming tedious. Borat’s initial encounters with people who believe they are trying to teach him new and exciting activities to bring back to his homeland works as well here as it did on the television show. When Borat wants to buy a car that is a real “pussy magnet,” as he’s come to hear the idiomatic expression, the salesperson that helps him, or tires to, reveals that small amount of honesty that most people wouldn’t imagine ever revealing in front of a large audience; it’s the ability to get at people’s openness, and to push hard when need be on someone’s sense of decorum, that takes BORAT a level above just being a spin-off from a television show.
This is a movie driven by expectations and by surprises within the context of what the plot is trying to accomplish. You could put forth the argument that there really isn’t any hard plot here but that’s neither here nor there when you’re watching Sacha work his comedic techniques without anyone being the wiser. Razor sharp when it comes to manipulation and intuition, finding opportunities within seconds and knowing when it’s time to really lay on those he’s squeezing for comedic juice Sacha Baron Cohen, and Borat, is absolutely dangerous. Borat isn’t looking to bring lessons of cultural teachings from America to his home country. I would submit that he’s fine with who he is, is never going to change, and is more than happy to show Americans for who they ultimately are. For better or, for the people who believe that Iraq should be turned into a glass parking lot, worse.
Director: Shawn Levy
Now, the amusing part of this story is that I didn’t really think it fit here. I thought that some other person could use it for themselves. Someone who talks about pop television or superhero type things. I actually tried giving this stuff away to someone else but, becuase they didn’t return the email(s), I assumed they either thought no one would be interested in it, they were too caught up in their own mystique as Internets writers to acknowledge the email or the guys were too busy having arguments about who is really going to win Marvel’s Civil War saga. 
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Director: Chris Bouchard
Now, in other, more enviornmental news, I had the chance to watch the documentary WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR? which was kindly punted my way from the nice people at Sony Pictures Classics and anyone within West Coast ear shot this week was treated to a short, yet amusingly poignant, interview with Chris Paine, director and writer of the film, on the Adam Carolla radio show.
Now, all things being equal there is no divorcing the fact that Paine, himself, was an owner of one these cars and making this movie seems like a catharsis or a call to arms of some kind. Those seeing the former will no doubt see the overwrought funeral scene in the beginning of this movie, where the EV1 is quite literally mourned and eulogized in a cemetary as some hippie cum granola head grandstanding that not even Air America would be able and spin in their favor. Heap onto this that Martin “tree hugger” Sheen is narrating this thing and already the film’s motives can be called into question.
The film is so much more than the sum of its parts, from its dead-on use of interview material to its personal ancecodes of those who drove the vehicles and champion the experience of driving the cars while also skewering GM’s assertion that since there wasn’t a lot of interest in these cars it made perfect sense to kill the prototype project; there was, in fact, a waiting list of over 5,000 people waiting for these cars and, despite GM’s claim that only 50 of these 5,000 ever took GM up on a lease, every single car that was offered up by GM was taken by a willing customer.
Director: Jay Duplass
Director: Nancy Meyers
Director: Sam Raimi
Director: Ivan Reitman
Director: Oliver Stone
Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Director: Richard Linklater
Director: Chris Paine
Director: Mark Steven Johnson
The ‘tard put up a hell of a take at the box office and I think everyone here, including myself, owe the guy a huzzah with a Coke and a smile. I wasn’t one of the people who added to the final number from this weekend; like I mentioned many times before I just wasn’t “hyped” over making sure I saw it opening weekend like I was for the other two installments. It was an odd feeling, to be sure, that the years I spent agonizing over when the actual X-Men movie was going to be made in 1988, following the film’s progression in monthly issues of the local comic book ‘zine at the time before the age of online communities or Wizard, that I really didn’t care about this movie.
By the sheer fact that this movie made lots of money it has legitimized any and all factors that many fanboys screamed about, this one included. Like a president who doesn’t care about your civil liberties the population has spoken with their wallets and have said yes to the machinations of every deadline and decision that was made in this film’s name.
Richard Vernon: Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
Director: Michael Cuesta
Director: Oliver Stone
Director: Sam Fell, David Bowers
Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Director: Michael Cuesta
Director: Martin Campbell
Director: Pierre Morel
Director: Bryan Singer
Director: Paul Dinello
Director: David Jacobson
Director: Neil Marshall
I ask this as a question because, physically, I not only had to throw my eyes off the screen about half way through the picture but, when I arrived back home, I had to toss back a couple of Pepto-Bismols just to calm my stomach. A few years ago I went to see Greengrass’ BLOODY SUNDAY. I thought the story was solid, the perspective on the event really brought home the issues which triggered the events that transpired and I got just as sick watching it as I did for UNITED 93.
For ever loving God, though, I cannot say that I’m going to go out again to the movies just to have my stomach rattled. I will admit, though, I was getting a little testy by the film’s end because I just envisioned Paul’s directorial technique being that of requiring he do all his shooting on a half dozen paint shakers.
Director: Stephen J. Anderson
Director: John Moore
Director: Alejandro Agresti
Director: Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin
Director: Hsiao-hsien Hou
Director: Davis Guggenheim
Director: Chan-wook Park
Now, as I am blazing through the adverts I see something pop up for the new Jack Black flick, NACHO LIBRE. I press play. I slow down. I was confused. I ignorantly thought that this was going to be, at the very least, an adult targeted flick.
I don’t know if it was because the vibe that Jack was putting out made it seem like having to take cues from a kid in this promo spot was lame or if realizing that being on Nickelodeon to pimp his new movie wasn’t the most “cred worthy” thing in the world. Honestly, it could be that he really didn’t mind giving some time to the little kids that are watching him but, as a big kid, I was a bit confused by the promotional spots I’ve seen on the Internets and what I was seeing there.
If this movie is the kid-friendly outing that it is being made out to be I wonder when we’re going to see this direction reflected in the advertising. Will we only be able to see the promo spots on Noggin? I’m just confused by this being the first discovery that even though the advertising says “This Film Has Not Yet Been Rated” there really is only a PG in this film’s future. Not that I was expecting there to be a great deal that would make this an R but this certainly changes how this movie is sold. Keep an eye out for this one. 
Director: Luke Meyer, Andrew Neel
Director: Scott Marshall
Director: Doug Atchison
Director: Caveh Zahedi
Director:Justin Lin
Director: Robert Altman
Director: Scott Marshall
Director: Bart Freundlich
Director:Nicole Holofcener
Director: Aric Avelino
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Director: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris
In the first part of the conversation with Sam Jaeger, who shares time with screen chewers Bruce Willis, Ben Kingsley, Lucy Liu and Josh Hartnett in LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN, we talked about his role in the movie and the road that led to Kevin Smith and, in this second installment, I talk with Sam about his life as an actor with regard to LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN and CATCH AND RELEASE; CLERKS II comes up too, I believe. One of the things that come up with talking to a guy who has to make a living, to put food on the table, is the kind of conviction it has taken to be where he is. When you have a talk with someone you want to not only be looking for good pieces of copy to be able and stuff into a satisfying interview but you hope that there’s some bit of humanity that slips through that resonates with your own life. With Sam this interview was different insofar that he’s more blue collar than he is well-off millionare.
Sam is just one of those kind of guys who, after you’re done talking with, you hope have miles of success in front of him. From his extensive work on television, movies and, now, his own movie, he’s keeping himself busy and I think that’s mightily appropriate for a man with a steely work ethic in a town notorious for its people striving to have things given to them.
You know, I heard from Susannah and I talked with Kevin, I think the movie, for one reason or another, Sony is resituating the film so that Jennifer [Garner] can promote it when she’s still not working on Alias which will be around January of 2007. It’s just one of those things. Everyone I talk to”¦Kevin said, “You know who this sucks for? This sucks for Sam because we all have careers.”
She is. She’s actually starring in a film that I am directing this summer.
We’re in the process of shooting it back in Ohio, pulling resources from the college I went to, trying to put people up in dorms, doing whatever we can to save money and still make it look like a 5 million dollar picture. Part of the process is also getting people who love the script, who believe in my abilities and are willing to go along for the ride.
Natalie, I noticed in the clip that they played you had a British accent. Can you talk a little about that?
Boo-yah, here’s question one of two that I was able to ask on my own. Not that anyone cares but I just thought to point that out for my own erudite and shameless reasons
Natalie, Now, what do you think of the message in the book?
Director:Ricardo de Montreuil
Director: Nathaniel Hornblower (AKA Adam Yauch) (dir.)
Director: Nick Cassavetes
Director: Michael Caton-Jones
Speaking of which, I wanted to just let you all get right into the trailers this week so I want to keep this brief: you must read, after you read me of course, and after you tell me what I did wrong or how bad it must suck to be me, this pithy little piece by a dude who is in perhaps one of the most savory comedic troupes to ever habitate and, ostensibly, depending on how well a show goes, fornicate, in Chicago. After seeing the guy was a fan of Kevin’s work I sent a shout-out to the man and, like a pair of 12 year-old girls trading notes, sent me this. In the vein of David Sedaris’ blisteringly (I never knew why this was associated with greatness; I usually attribute it to white pus-filled bubbles of skin on one’s person) funny take on what would happen if a serious critic took that critical gaze and deconstructed a Christmas pagent. And, verily, hilarity ensues as it does with Adam Witt’s work as he fictionalizes the life of a hard-core cinephile/critic who obviously can’t be bothered with mainstream motion pictures; the guy comes from a respectible pedigree, one part of the whole 
Director:Marshall Curry
Director: Richard Linklater
Director: Asia Argento
Director: Brett Ratner
Yeah, I spent the morning reading the reviews. I was wondering if you knew why those limeys get it first and we have to wait?
I can relate a little bit to you as the first time I visited Hollywood I was fresh off living in Illinois for nearly all my life and when I stepped into it I just couldn’t help but feel that it was a little weird. It didn’t feel real, it’s like reality but with a heavy coat of varnish on top of it.
I feel like Josh is on this bubble. He’s got these boyish features but he’s making a great run at trying to carry a complete movie on his shoulders. Did he ever mention anything about what direction he wants to see himself going in?
Really?
And I said, “I did a killer episode of “˜That’s Life.’ I can’t believe you didn’t see it”¦” It’s a relationship you’re just lucky to have. 
Director: Sidney Lumet
Director:Steve Buscemi
Director: Terry Zwigoff
Director: Fernando Eimbcke
Director: Frank Coraci
What I dig, besides the obvious, is that something like this can stoke the flames of anticipation for your average movie-phile. You look at this picture and any fan of Rami’s first 2 installments starts to speculate about things. You begin to wonder if our man from SIDEWAYS will be a good enough Sandman or whether Topher Grace will be a good enough foil against Parker’s every-day personality.
Director: Michel Gondry
Director: James Westby
Director:Jared Hess
Director: Adam McKay
Those who want their mind to traipse elsewhere can find what their minds are nagging at them to read by lingering long enough at their local comic shop. One of the things that made Brain Michael Bendis’ “Torso” stand in stark contrast to the books making Wizard’s Top Seller lists was its blend of true crime storytelling that infused Marc Andreyko’s art in such a way that commanded true attention. The story would prove it couldn’t be ignored and its eventual trip towards the big screen took a leap when Miramax decided to pick up the property. The problem was, though, the house that made its name on shaping original ideas a visual reality decided to sit atop the book and not do anything with it.
I was just talking to Bill Mechanic, one of the producers, and he was saying that his just got finalized and one of the other guys just got finalized. I think the PR people sometimes jump the gun”¦they do it for two reasons: one, they want to get it out and, two, sometimes it puts the studio into a pressure cooker; if they balk now, it’s already been announced, they don’t look good. So, sometimes it’s done as a negotiating tool. But, minus all of that, which is all inconsequential, arguably because most of the work had already been done when this announcement came out. Because, a lot of people announce things like this and then have another 8 months or year of negotiating contracts. We sort of did the leg work far in advance and most of the credit for that goes to Bill Mechanic. He used to run Fox.
Well, you know, historically, Elliot Ness is a lot younger than people think. He was in his early 20’s when he came to Chicago. By the time he put Capone away he was like 26, 27, he was a kid. You could say Kevin Costner was more of a Hollywood kind of thing, not quite exact casting. So, you could put someone in the role that’s in their mid 30’s and it’s historically correct which opens the door for a lot of actors.
Have you talked to Bendis at all about this? About having Mechanic on board, having Fincher on board”¦?
Has Fincher just signed on in name or has he talked about his own vision of what he’d like to do with the material?
In this case, I don’t think so.
And comic books are no different but, in this country, have such a stereotype of the word “comic book.”
Also, and I think this is a good place for it, I wanted to state, for the record, that after watching COOL RUNNINGS over the weekend and being enthralled by the possibilities that is international competition and mutual admiration I would like to declare a fatwa against all that is Bode Miller Hype. After believing himself better than his teammates in the opening ceremony by not rocking that odd hybrid of beret, Kangol and touque on top of his melon spoke volumes about how he feels about the sanctity of sport in general. He can be all the asshole he wants but it delights me to no end that his poor showing in the one place where you have to bring your A game is some kind of cosmic karma that would not let someone so full of innane, self-righteous screed, saying that “I’ve straddled probably more times than most people have finished a slalom,” get away with being a “rebel” to those who could’ve been his supporters. I will say that he is an unbelievable ringer, a true personification, of Roy Stalin from the righteous and classic BETTER OFF DEAD. I hope you kids learned a good lesson about how much fun the media has in finding new ways to build up its heroes and to rip them down in true schadenfreude fashion. If I could admonish everyone, delicately, to send a picture to ol’ Bode (By the way, Nike, how is that marketing campaign going? Buy enough ad time? I’m sure a lot of you must be delighted with the way things turned out.) of Chad Hendrick who, even though he wasn’t a blowhard, was man enough to bawl like a little girl for all sorts of reasons, publicly, and still secure his Olympic gold in the face of those big, bad, burly commercials that show Bode in his slow-mo greatness; I am sure he could use the pick me up. Take a lesson from Chad, kids, and show a little class. It may not get you on 60 Minutes but I think you’ll see how much more rewarding and satisfying hard work, discipline and not seemimg like you having a boot planted sideways in one’s own balloon knot can be. Whoever thinks that brooding James Dean types are still a viable economic model for today’s youth need to have their collective…well, it is a viable model for many athletes and corporations who sponser children like this but it doesn’t mean that I can’t take solace in waiting till they get faced by dudes like Lane Meyer. 
Aaaaaand, speaking of controversial media figures, if I could hype up next week’s column I would like to let you all know that this space will be filled next week with an interview I just conducted with Todd McFarlane wherein the groundwork for a filmic adaptation for Brian Michael Bendis’ “Torso” is laid out. With David Fincher being announced as the man who will filter the story of America’s first serial killer the possibilities of how one renders this tale are endless. Do be sure to come back next week as the information is plentiful. Oh, and some of you who visit other movie sites will notice that one of them ran a news tidbit about a crazy trailer that just popped up online. That movie is called SPECIAL and my critique of the oddity that is that trailer can be found right 
Let’s see Bode get 6th place after getting his ass kicked by a mountain…
Director:Jeff Feuerzeig
Director:Mary Harron
Director: Rian Johnson
Director: Kurt Wimmer
Coming in a full two weeks early and two pounds lighter than her sister I am happy to say that the only thing I have to do differently as a father is try and figure out A) how I am going to live in a house with nothing but women and B) how I am going to get the majority vote to be able and play BLACK HAWK DOWN in full surround sound whenever I damn well please. So, Ella, welcome to my world and know that I have this picture at my digital disposal. Vote right.
Director:Lori Silverbush, Michael Skolnik
Director:Christophe Gans
Director: Peter John Ross, John Whitney
Director: Hal Haberman, Jeremy Passmore