Director: Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin
Cast: Aaron Stanford, Paul Schneider, Michael Rapaport, Kevin Dunn, Zooey Deschanel, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Judah Friedlander
Release: Who knows…
Synopsis: Lackluster criminals look to pull a job in the Granite State.

Prognosis: Crap. This movie won an award for Best Feature at the SXSW festival?

Seriously?

I can say with some certainty, and a little authority, that this is a really poor trailer. If you want the short version of the review it would be that this trailer depends on its players using the word “fuck” or “shit” in ways that would be amusing to a boy of thirteen but to someone who’s thirty it just feels like it’s not so much selling a movie as it is trying to put on a “funny” front.

The whole point of making a trailer is to package your film in a way that’s digestible for the most amount of people in the hopes it attracts viewers of all levels. True, whoever made this trailer made the conscious point of including a lot of swearing as a point of interest. They wanted to showcase this facet of the movie. However, and I would argue, that, out of context, swearing does nothing more than showcase the fact that your actors are juveniles who need nothing more than our complete disregard for their actions if this is the kind of sell they’re going after.

However, in the light of equal time I will try and give this thing the respect it so deservedly is begging to receive.

We start with our protagonist claim he is a “stone, fucking killer” and that he’s killed people with his bare, “fucking hands.” I’m not sure if I am to laugh or this is the point where this movie becomes about one man’s quest to kill as many people as he can.

Said protagonist seems to be scouring the landscape for more people to completely work over although that’s just speculation on my part. The trailer is taking a lot of time to put the spotlight on the “crazy” antics of our man Friday here as a way, ostensibly, to show how much fun we’re going to have just by following this dude around as he rips up the land around him. He gets a tall, Lloyd from DUMB AND DUMBER looking dude to tag along with him, providing an extra level of comedy.

Plot points? I don’t have any to explain because, frankly, I haven’t got any myself out of this thing.

I do, though, get an idea when these band of misfits pick up a third and decide to go thieving. I honestly would’ve liked to have some clue as to why these guys are out ripping people off and decimating stores, I might actually have some genuine interest in allying myself to one of them but no, none of that’s forthcoming. I do get Judah Friedlander playing every single mumble-mouthed, big glasses wearing, monotone gimmick actor he’s played in every other movie as he’s given way too much time to just do his thing.

The ending of this trailer is just filled with enough explicative dropping I wonder if there’s any original kind of dialogue in this movie that isn’t peppered with the f-word.

I think it’s funny to have an obscene movie, 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN proved that last year, but what set that movie and this movie apart was that its advertising (GASP) managed to exclude anything hinting that it was going to be as blue as it was. There’s nothing held back here and, to me, that’s a bad thing.

Director: Hsiao-hsien Hou
Cast: Chen Chang, Mei Di, Su-jen Liao, Fang Mei, Qi Shu
Release: April 26, 2006 (Limited)
Synopsis: Three stories set in three times, 1911, 1966 and 2005. Two actors play the two main characters in each story.

Prognosis: Positive. It’s often, I would say it isn’t but it is, when I see a foreign language film and wonder how long it will be until the story is appropriated by a domestic studio and regurgitated in a form that either dilutes the original spark or until the movie is picked up and sat on like it’ll ripen with every month that goes by without a release (i.e. NIGHTWATCH, SHAOLIN SOCCER); this movie, though, seems safe from either of those impulses as IFC Films has been an excellent distributor of films that would normally just get a weak release from any of the majors.

What appealed to me most initially, then, is not so much the content but the premise. Jonsing for a peek at Aronofsky’s THE FOUNTAIN has resulted in being open to stories of just this kind. Taking place in three different time periods is a move that could either yield genuine drama or could seem like a convenient ploy, gimmick. When you see, right out of the gate, Jim Jarmusch laying out the superlatives and hyperbole for this director, Hou Hsiao-Hsien, you feel a connection to someone who many might not be familiar with. I certainly was not.

Also, I very much liked the display of film festivals this movie has played at as it doesn’t linger too long and it efficiently, deservedly, establishes credibility. Also, we’re not talking about meager festivals. This one has bowed at Cannes, Telluride and Toronto.

Our first shot is of a young woman playing some snooker. Regardless of how well she plays, it is the man standing behind her that catches our eye. The music is smoky, appropriate. What’s more, regarding the tune, it somehow fits the next scenes of our three eras being represented in tri split screen. Even though these two protagonists are going to be together somehow, someway, the chemistry is instant.

Even when we’re given the obvious, the three dates being stamped on the screen the melding of the three time periods is seamless. Somehow you just feel the authenticity of this man and woman.

The first real dialogue that’s spoken, subtitled for our pleasure, feels a little indulgent in the vein of high falutian mushiness that really only exists in cinema but that’s ok; sometimes you want to believe in the power of real strong agape between two people and if you earn it this is the arena where it can be allowed.

Seeing A.O. Scott’s blurb is de regur for a movie like this. Even though you want to believe your flick is strong enough on its own you still want to revert, at least in marketing, to those things which will get people to come out of their hovels to see a film like this.

The ending is a little quiet, a little reserved but the action on the screen is yearning for someone to pay attention to this woman who seems to be suffering from some kind of heartache. The fact that you can infer this from a foreign language trailer speaks volumes about the strength of the material. Highly anticipated.

Director: Davis Guggenheim
Cast: Al Gore
Release: May 24, 2006
Synopsis: Eloquently weaves the science of global warming with Al Gore’s personal history and lifelong commitment to reversing the effects of global climate change. A longtime advocate for the environment, Gore presents a wide array of facts and information in a thoughtful and compelling way. The film is not a story of despair but rather a rallying cry.

Prognosis: Always consider the source. I tell you what living in Arizona makes it hard for me to tell you what I think of global warming.

When the average temperature hits over 100 degrees every damn summer day I would sooner believe that the world is going to melt at any moment than try to gauge what is going on with the rest of the world, scientifically, as it pertains to global warming. The fundies would have you believe it’s due to homosexuals getting their swerve on and, thus, God’s getting his wrath on. The democrats would attribute it to big corporate greed getting in the way of sound environmental policy. And the republicans would just as soon say there isn’t a problem at all and that how dare we bring this up when there is a war that is threatening our family’s lives?

I don’t know what to believe but I do like the interesting approach to getting this trailer started.

“At Sundance it received three standing ovations…”

Like any good piece of propaganda, and remember that every movie with a viewpoint is propaganda no matter how “teh awesome,” the flashes of extreme weather moments is very effective. The clips go by awfully quick but the snippets of palm trees bending, video of hurricane movements and the stark pictures of nuclear power plants are begging us to do the math about what these threes have in common. Since I’m pretty stupid I don’t have a clue.

More extreme shots of limp waterfalls, deforestation, tornadoes ring the point that’s about to be made.

“If you love your planet…
If you love your children…
You have to see this film.”

Yeah, I have a problem with that. What I loathe about exploitative news reporting and mainstream journalism as of late is that I am assaulted by teasers that constantly threaten either my or my family’s life with information that they have to tell me but can’t share until I tune in at 10:00 pm. This film’s marketing is essentially doing the same thing and I don’t appreciate it as a tactic.

“By far the most terrifying film you will ever see.”

Huh? I would hope that this film is being ironic because no person would have the brass satchels to make that kind of comment unless we were getting archival footage of Vlad the Impaler impaling. No, we’re getting some egg heads talking about hot weather using the same kind of scare tactics used by Newsroom Channel 5.

“The consensus is that WE are causing global warming.”

Sigh.

Ok, Al Gore states that humans are the cause for global warming and even though I was horrid at life sciences I at least know that nugget of gold information. What else could’ve caused it? The wanton expulsion of methane gas from dairy cows?

Anyway, Gore goes on to show us the dry beds of land in Patagonia many decades ago and what it looks like now, appearing to become the next Great Lake. We see before and after shots of Mt. Kilimanjaro. The night and freaking day difference between these two landmasses and the environmental effects they’ve endured is actually interesting, kids.

The latter half of this trailer’s presentation of how bad global policy has resulted in things like Hurricane Katrina is at once compelling while also causing my BS Detector 2000 to activate. Does causal relationships mean relation? I don’t know but this trailer would have me believe it to be true.

While this trailer suffers from bad slanting of information nothing is more amusing than the last few moments where the music gets real dramatic and the music ramps up to action movie speed.

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