It’s odd but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a trailer that’s marked quite as tellingly that there was some “modification” of sorts going on with it.
I speak here of the trailer for EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. Now, by the time the original trailer was released I was all over this fairly well-covered flick’s promotional materials. The trailer, the very first incarnation, was fairly disappointing. It’s a whole lot of disappointing. It was ass.
My review today reflects the first trailer and, believe you me, I had to do extensive hunting on the Interwebs just to link right to the original as the studio behind the picture have done a pretty good job in replacing all remnants of it. It’s the weirdest thing because you take a look at the trailer listings on QuickTime.com and you see all the flicks all gathered together all nice and neat and then, bam, sticking out with its parenthesis is a nice little (Revised) indicator. Now, there are other trailers that have had a little revision but do I give two shits about OPEN SEASON’s trailer getting a little makeover? Nope.
I am, however, very interested in finding out what was changed from this motion picture starring the one woman who I know a lot of dudes are waiting to see hit the wall with great impact. Call be curious, call me bi-curious if you like, but I did a little hunting and found it wasn’t Jessica Simpson that was accentuated differently, it was Dane Cook. Cook was, instead of being on the same wedding cake tier as Dax (How The Hell I Keep Getting Parts Is A Mystery To Even My Agent) Shephard, elevated to the top layer and it seems to be a movie, now, of singular proportions: it’s a Cook/Simpson production. Whereas the first trailer kind of made it an open field for the person who would ultimately win the affections of Simpson the second trailer kind of concedes that there isn’t anyone alive that would believe Dax would ever be the one who she ends up with.
The movie evolved, in a matter of 2+ minutes, from being this wacky ensemble comedy to being a singular romantic comedy starring two of the biggest things to happen to Proactiv acne wash and MySpace. It’s a curious thing that there really isn’t any way to track the changes, to watch the evolution, of filmic advertising like this but I’m helping, nay, inviting, those who give a crap to check out both trailers and tell me what you think. I’m genuinely curious to get the opinion of those who can see how you can tell seemingly divergent stories with the same material. I guess, perhaps, it’s a function of the editorial process but it’s one that caught my eye and I felt like I wanted to share the consternation with someone else.
And speaking of frustration who else here just wants to see SNAKES ON A PLANE and get it over with?
It’s almost as if it’s this song that’s been stuck in there and it needs to be purged. I don’t know one way or the other if I am actually going to check out the cinematic event that some have said has defined the zeitgeist of the YouTube generation. Now, I don’t think I’d go that far but I will say, in all fairness to this flick’s production, that you just can’t put a price tag on the talents and comments some bloggers have given freely to this movie’s eventual delivery to the box office. Sure, you know all about it but who has really been doing the pimping, the studio or geeks who are doing the work for the studio?
And good for the them.
I would plunder nerds for all they’re worth too and it sounds like Samuel L. Jackson had himself a good idea of what he was doing when he signed on for this picture. The audio was collected just weeks ago from the San Diego Comic-Con and I do hope at least a couple of you click the link below to get an insider’s view of what in the hell Sam was thinking when he said “Fuck Yeah!” to this movie. You can think one way or the other about the film, groan as you realize how bad we need to just all collectively stop talking about this B-movie and get on with our filmic lives but this movie is a legitimate entry into the marketing hall-of-fame and I couldn’t agree more with fellow columnist Widgett Walls that I hope this movie does a financially better opening weekend than SUPERMAN RETURNS; it would be a great cap to this summer movie season.
So, enjoy the audio here of Samuel L. Jackson and Kenan Thompson; the latter of whom you can hear in great garbled detail just going off to some distant land where syllables, their meaning or auditory volume have no place. If you’d like to hear Kenan drop what may be the twist at the end of the movie without so much as a moment’s hesitation on his part I invite you to just stick with it and listen. Â
Roundtable interview with Samuel L. Jackson (MP3 Format)
Roundtable interview with Kenan Thompson (MP3 Format)
Director: Greg Coolidge
Cast: Jessica Simpson, Dane Cook, Efren Ramirez, Dax Shephard, Andy Dick, Tim Bagley, Brian George, Harland Williams
Release: October 6, 2006
Synopsis: Enter Zack Bradley (Dane Cook) and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), two ultra competitive Super Club workers whose ten years of employment have resulted in drastically different career paths. While Vince – with the aid of his trusty sidekick Jorge (Efren Ramirez) — has advanced to become head cashier and winner of 17 consecutive “E of M†awards, Zack is the ultimate slacker whose scruffy appearance and laid back attitude has made him popular with his colleagues, but kept him stuck in the lowly ranks of the store’s box boys. The duo’s longtime rivalry comes to a bitter head when Amy (Jessica Simpson) – a beautiful new cashier with a reputation of only dating “Employee of the Month†winners – transfers to the store, immediately becoming the object of both Zack and Vince’s affection and often comical gamesmanship.
View Trailer:
* Large (Windows Media. The *FIRST* trailer that started it all)
* Large (QuickTime. Noted “Trailer 2a”; whatever the hell that means…)
Prognosis: Negative. What a thankless, wretched, mind-numbing, soul-sucking, pride-swallowing thing it is to have to work retail at a retail store.
No, we’re not talking about having to navigate the perils of telling a customer that she looks fabulous in size seven chinos when it’s clear that m’lady needs to get a pair twice as large just to get sale. We’re talking here of having to work where consumables of all varieties are for sale. Where no one is above having to take the trash out or lifting cases of dog food or cleaning out the women’s crapper, including cleaning out and disposing of the used sanitary napkin holder.
Yeah, working in an environment like this for ten years makes me entirely suspicious of a woman like Jessica Simpson being able to hack it but this is the movies, right? Right. And working on that premise I guess I also have to assume she’s a legitimate actress as well. Sigh.
That said, I do appreciate the ease of which this trailer glides us into the misfit-run location this movie takes place in as it establishes, right from the start, that Dane is going to be the nice guy of the picture. Dax is, just as quick, established as the nemesis. There isn’t spectacular about this, there isn’t anything particularly remarkable about the laughs that are supposed to be induced by these two geeks. I know that what you’re supposed to be thinking after seeing the two of these comedic giants rip it up is that this is going to be a totally awesome fun-fun time at the movies. But, no, wait!
Cue “Gone Daddy Gone†by the Violent Femmes and slow-mo the camera as Jessica Simpson looks like humping the nearest phallic symbol.
Now, I’m no great storyteller, I seem capable of only critiquing the shortcomings of others, but the subsequent moments of Dane and Dax vying for the sensual attention of People Magazine’s Least-Likey-To-Engage-In-Manual-Labor are pretty bad. The premise of these two guys competing for the affections of a woman who gets all sorts of bothered at the idea of being with the man who becomes Employee of the Month is kind of, well, not very funny.
I’m really trying to be generous with noting little things during the second 2/3rds of this thing which are actually amusing, not feeling anything for the tennis ball being fired at Cook’s crotch, not really getting into the slapstick of a guy checking out groceries so hard that he falls off his feet, not especially keen over the gag where Dax finds his car put up onto a really high shelf inside the store, but there just isn’t anything to grab a hold of in this thing.
I am buoyed, though, at the romantic moments that we’re given between Cook and Simpson. While there isn’t anything ground-breaking I am thankful that the movie doesn’t look like a complete disaster. The two of them do seem to have something and it’s here where I think I got it: Dax is poisoning the well.
The moments where he’s on screen I am really not smiling and, when he’s not, I am a lot less surly about the potential of the movie. I wish I could say that this is an attempt to be amusing but I am feeling pretty sure that there is homogenously nothing that great about his comedic stylings. Not a one. He’s an albatross. Sure as I am about anything. Swear to God.
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Cast: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Charlie Hunnam, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Release: September 29, 2006
Synopsis: CHILDREN OF MEN envisages a world one generation from now that has fallen into anarchy on the heels of an infertility defect in the population. The world’s youngest citizen has just died at 18, and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction. Set against a backdrop of London torn apart by violence and warring nationalistic sects, CHILDREN OF MEN follows disillusioned bureaucrat Theo (Owen) as he becomes an unlikely champion of Earth’s survival. When the planet’s last remaining hope is threatened, this reluctant activist is forced to face his own demons and protect her from certain peril.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: Positive. I missed this panel at the Comic-Con.
I didn’t know anything about this movie’s existence before seeing the trailer here and now I wished I had stuck around to find out more.
Sometimes using talent from a film to do a narrative voiceover isn’t really the brightest thing to do, I can tell you that this may have something to do with why Fox Animation packed up shop shortly after the dismal Barrymore/Damon/Pullman/et al. packed up their crap and left Arizona, but Clive has proven that since CROUPIER he has a unique attraction with his pipes and it’s no different here.
“I can’t really remember when I last had any hope…â€
The opening scenes are dismal. The cinematography delicately presents the moment that Clive is stuck in with the kind of presentation that makes you believe that he really is a man who has lost any sense of hope for anything beyond a secretive moment in a bathroom john with the latest issue of Mammories Monthly. This is about the time when Clive lets us in on the fact that women stopped having babies and about when people start pelting the crap out of the train Clive is riding.
Fast forward to 2027.
While it’s not quite as bleak as BLADE RUNNER, and not quite as Crest Whitestrip bright as Tom Cruise’s MINORITY REPORT, the way we start to discover the world that Clive is living in is by news report. We’re completely consumed by the Breaking News story about the youngest living male who ends up kicking the proverbial bucket. People are glued to the TV sets, Clive doesn’t really seem to care and I am just trying to wrap my head about what’s going on here. I love the tempo, I appreciate the slow dissemination of information and I like the minimalist score behind it all.
Then, SNAP, the ensuing explosion whips your attention away. It made me flinch, actually. I deserve a couple hits on the fleshy part of my arm for that. Good job.
“Our civilization is in chaosâ€
While Michael Caine offers the sage-like introspection about trying to help us all get a grip on how the world has gotten to the point where people are living in a police state the thieving of Clive by some super women’s lib organization seems like a great way to cut through the whole logical idea of helping a brother out by being clear as to why I should plop my money down. I’m actually impressed here with Julianne Moore, a feat that should surprise no one, but the fact that she is trying to get Owen’s help to get some little girl to some logistical point in this odd land hurts more than helps the cool factor of this film.
As a side note, while I really do appreciate the quick tempo music that pipes in when Clive’s lame existence goes south and when you are using cards to tell people what flicks the director has done before dropping his HARRY POTTER installment just incites laughs from me. It’s his movie and the marketing people can put in there what they want but just watch it go by then try and tell me you don’t find that amusing as all hell.
The subsequent moments of this trailer speed the thrust of the storyline right between our eyes but I’m not sure I still understand. It looks like a visually gripping movie and it’s plot seems to border on the intelligent side of wanton human destruction that’s going on. If I had to choose between this and anything else opening this weekend I would have no quandries about seeing this flick just based on the trailer.
THE FOUNTAIN (2006)
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn, Sean Gullette
Release: November 22, 2006
Synopsis: The Fountain is an odyssey about one man’s thousand-year struggle to save the woman he loves. As a 16th century Conquistador, a modern-day scientist, and a 26th century astronaut, he searches for the secret to eternal life.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: Where’s the passion from the teaser because it’s not here. I saw the money that was being asked for when it came to purchasing original art from THE FOUNTAIN graphic novel and I passed.
Quickly.
Really, there wasn’t even a moment’s contemplation. Kent Williams’ artwork captures the mood of what the thrust of this story is really all about and I can see why that not even pawning a used car would’ve been good enough to purchase a set of his pages.
After I finished with the book a couple of weeks ago, I just couldn’t stand idly by as people gushed over the finished film, I can say I was properly primed for Aronofsky’s vision.
I just don’t see why there is such a disconnect between me and the new trailer. I am just not feeling the passion between the pages that the novel evoked.
The teaser, for my free money, is just exquisite. At a very high level it gives you a taste of what this film could be, without telling you what it is, but it performs its job without so much as a wasted moment. But people were confused. The potential audience, people who don’t spend their waking hours on the web pages of Internet movie sites, would need more, though, I get that. What I don’t understand is the hollowness of the information that we’re given.
As things open, as it does in the book, on an ancient temple, the lightning and foreboding vibe that is supposed to be present just isn’t there; we’re too far removed from what’s happening. We’ve got an old guy working on the ground like some crazed latter-day gardener, sifting though the mud and soil like he’s looking for some truffles, and he’s telling us about a tree that will help you live forever if you drink its sap. Awesome. The problem is that the scene doesn’t feel as dire as it should be for a man on a mission like this.
“What if you could live forever?â€
Okay, I’m all about cribbing the font style of the LORD OF THE RINGS but the rhetorical question of me wanting to live forever seems awfully disingenuous when we don’t know the reason why we should even care about anything that’s being shown thus far. We’re nearly a third of the way through this thing before Rachel Weisz, looking positively radiant, feeds us the brick that should’ve slam dunked us from the beginning. Hugh Jackman, looking all scraggly and haggard, and the queen have an instant connection and the moment they share is positively perfect. That’s what makes the misstep of the opening so shitty. You could’ve flipped the sequences without so much as missing a beat but we press on. Hugh presses on.
“2000 A.D.â€
You believe what’s going on. You can feel the love between these two people as Hugh seems genuinely distressed and angry by the obvious implication here that there is something physically wrong about his wife. We establish that he’s a doctor, that he has found something that may help, but there is a feeling that a lot is squeezed into 2000 A.D. that it’s hard to keep track of all the variables of what’s happening here. I know because the book told me but the average schmoe has a lot to chew on in this time period.
“2500 A.D.â€
Here is where things get a little trippy. Ok, a whole lot of trippy. I won’t even bother to try and break down what’s happening in this era but I don’t think anyone could in the seconds we’re given to digest things. It’s very metaphysical but, again, I think this just confuses people as to what in hell is happening. I can’t blame them.
“All flesh decays…â€
The final moments, the ones that rely heavily on 1500 A.D., actually feel more cohesive than the whole. You can get the idea that this about living forever but if you can’t help me understand why I would need to see this confusing movie then why even spend the money on it? Yes, 35 million isn’t like the original budget but give this movie a fighting chance to make it all back.
Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gael Garcia Bernal, Koji Yakusho, Elle Fanning
Release: November 17, 2006
Synopsis: Armed with a Winchester rifle, two Morrocan boys set out to look after their family’s herd of goats. In the silent echoes of the desert, they decide to test the rifle… but the bullet goes farther than they thought it would.
In an instant, the lives of four separate groups of strangers on three different continents collide. Caught up in the rising tide of an accident that escalates beyond anyone’s control are a vacationing American couple (Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett), a rebellious deaf Japanese teenager and her father, and a Mexican nanny who, without permission, takes two American children across the border. None of these strangers will ever meet; in spite of the sudden, unlikely connection between them, they will all remain isolated due to their own inability to communicate meaningfully with anyone around them.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)
Prognosis: (GASP!) Very Positive. I had a friend in high school who had parents that went to Morocco.
I didn’t really understand why they went. The husband and wife had a modestly sized photo sitting on their large television which showed them dressed in traditional Moroccan garb as they sat in what looked like a multi-carpeted space and were sitting down on the floor. Didn’t look like much fun and I had visions of them having to endure the gastronomical goulash that Indiana Jones had to in TEMPLE OF DOOM; beetles, spiders and anything else that would’ve been swatted away here in America looked like it was fair game, literally, while it was washed down in tea cups the size of shot glasses. Yup, I was pretty damn cultured.
It honestly doesn’t help this trailer that I am thinking Brad and Cate are consuming the exact same thing I thought my friend’s parents had to eat while in Morocco. Seriously. Although, since I became a pretty hardcore devotee of IN THE ARMY NOW I’ve been able to allow myself to imagine that camels are Morocco’s prime source of getting to one place to another. Public education, people.
Now that we’ve gotten his out of the way I am a fan of this movie’s opening.
The music immediately grabs my attention. Brad and Cate really do seem like a couple but you know as this exchange is going on he’s thinking about Angelina and how crazy that chick is and why he just listen to his boys and just stone cold kick it in Malibu but is, instead, having to check his blood for parasites every other week while his crazy woman holes herself up in a place that doesn’t have running water but has all the available malaria he wants.
Anyway, back to the 4th wall of seeing Brad’s visage and being taken out of the moment when I see him here.
Before getting confused about why Gael Garcia Bernal all of a sudden shows up, I get a rather perverted, but much appreciated (high five…), shot of a couple of Japanese girls from behind as they sashay in this short skirts. Huh? Don’t know why, don’t care and am just happy being ignorant about what’s actually going on here but when a little kid lifts a rifle and takes a pot shot at a touring bus that is holding Pitt and Cate, Cate getting one right in the chest (makes me remember my youth and the wrist rocket that has no doubt changed a few lives, accidentally of course), I get it.
It’s one of those butterfly flapping its wings/how the world can change, kind of esoteric things, type of stories. I like Brad’s complete disorientation to try and help his lady but no one speaks his language (silly American), and how these events kind of all come together in a way that is really quite satisfying by the trailer’s end, but nothing can take away from the moment when the audience really gets at what this movie is aiming to do.
For all the easy shots at Brad this seems like another gem where Brad, unlike his bat shit crazy friend Cruise, is able to take exciting material and let it speak for itself, not inject his own spin on how it should come across.
As hard as I know some would like to believe I have been having a nice relationship going with this trailer. I think it’s story is very much germaine to today’s politics and even science fiction variables wherein it’s posited that should one person set in motion one simple event its effects are far-reaching to those who wouldn’t otherwise see the connection.
Â
Â
Comments: None
Leave a Reply |