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By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

I liked SNEAKERS as a film. It was whimsy, light but has something to it that I just cannot rail against in any capacity. I think that the “too many secrets” idea is one that had real resonance for a number of reasons just beyond the movie itself. This kind of notion, that there is a machine that can obtain whatever it wants from wherever it goes and that information is power depending on who owns it, fits in perfectly for how my Comic-Con of 2006 experience ultimately left me feeling.

You’ve no doubt seen all the up-the-minute, some literally up-to-the-second, coverage that happened on the floor in the convention halls. In the press section where I sat for many of the great panels on parade I could hear, in the quiet moments between really awkward questions, requests (“Can I give you a hug?” directed at the talent for 300 was, perhaps, the most painful) and pauses from geeks who just couldn’t get it together for their few seconds in the literal spotlight, I heard the click-clacks of live blogging.

A lot of that content went to sites that shall remain nameless. I would hope and suggest, though, that many of these very same authors figure out that Strunk & White is not just a new television show on the FX network and that one of the greatest assets to people who do nothing but write real emotional screeds look into the eyes of proper sentence construction and learn how to use their newfound abilities to liveblog in a way that’s meaningful. That said, some of the other information that went to a little known site called the Risky Biz Blog from the very kind, polite and lethally literate contributors of The Hollywood Reporter. 

While I was sitting in my very unforgiving, very uncomfortable metal ass hammock I was able to pull up a lot of sites on my little iBook and was amazed at the difference between what two different perspectives can bring to the absolute same story. One was well-written, concise and brought some context to the subject matter that presupposed, for a moment, some people needed a little background while some other suffered from the kind of erratic reporting that I would expect out of a 12 year-old girl who’s trying to push a day’s worth of emotional trauma in middle school into a 10 second blast. It then should follow, then, as to which outlet, take a wild, Hitchcockian stab, enjoyed the most exclusive “OMFG! Dood! wOOt!” access while there.

I had went into all my roundtables with the idea that maybe, perhaps, quite possibly, I’d have enough juice to at least bring you one uninterrupted conversation that didn’t include one outlet’s constant question of the 2 different SPIDER-MAN 3 panels and one GHOST RIDER panel about whether, if you, like, could, you know, have a crossover movie with, like, another comic book universe what would it be, but I just resigned myself to Quick Stop’s place in the social order of things and just enjoyed the ride. On my own, and the many different ways I begged like a jonsin’ junkie, I ended up with nothing. Mr. Ken Plume, our esteemed EIC here, did a bang-up job of landing 1:1 time with the guys of HOT FUZZ and BALLS OF FURY while inviting me along, graciously, to enjoy the solitude of the Omni Hotel on a Sunday morning with some of the funniest men that are working in entertainment today.

It was nice. Thinking about who got what and why my many calls went unreturned (A lowbrow commentary on the subject? Just a dick move.) does nothing in the grand scheme of it all. 

I just look back at what 2006 yielded me for this site and while it’s easy to chalk it up to a bust, apart from the nerds I crushed and mauled getting a ticket to see BORAT, but there was some great roundtable moments that didn’t include socially retarded questioning from people who obviously had nothing else to offer a conversation but their ignorance.

Believe it or not I enjoyed the living hell out of the SNAKES ON A PLANE panel. It was 4 separate “interviews” of about 5-6 journalists (if you could call us that) at 4 separate tables, with the talent rotating like some grown-up version of musical chairs, and I really had an enjoyable time talking with the film’s snake wrangler, a proposition I know doesn’t sound all that great but believe you me it was, Sam Jackson, who summed up his reason for making this movie perfectly and understands its complete absurdness as a vehicle with alarming clarity, the director and then Kenan Thompson who, donning a pair of sunglasses that Jackie O. would’ve thought were too damn big, seemed “somewhere else” during the conversation and was loose enough to essentially state what seems like the ending for the film without so much of an “oops.” Solid panel all the way around.

There was Bryan Singer’s SUPERMAN RETURNS panel which was noticeably thin on people from the media but it looked like he was almost at the end of his emotional rope with regard to talking about this film. He appeared worn and in need for some long rest. It spoke well of him that he was able to be present for this after-the-fact kind of get-together and while it didn’t yield any great kernels of misgivings he might have about the final cut that’s out there my offer of $5 to anyone who would ask a question about the not so great showing at the box office by dollars and critics went unanswered. Damn.

The GHOST RIDER panel was just swamped with geeks. Really. It was Noah’s Ark and we all wanted on that ship. Everyone vied for a chance to speak to Nic Cage/Mendes/Johnson about this long delayed production but it led right into the panel that everyone was there for: SPIDER-MAN 3. Now, while I intrinsically high-fived myself for being able to wedge in a question to Kirsten and Tobey in the cacophony of other journos yelling out requests like this was a press conference to discuss how a new cancer pill, available only in an anal suppository, has cured everyone who’s taken it, it should come as a surprise to some that it was really Thomas Hayden Church who was the real belle of the ball. The man is simply amusing, charming and seems like a guy who could give a colorful interview if he were to be plopped down in the hot seat for an hour. He was perhaps one of the only other actors there at the Con who just appeared to be pleased to be there; others looked like they were in a constant state of discomfort.

The panel for 300, while not as intimate as the roundtables, sticks out in my mind as one of the most fascinating gems I wasn’t expecting to enjoy. Gerard Butler is simply easy to listen to as he was one of the few actors that came out and was one of the other kind of people that really just rode the rocket ship of a Comic-Con audience for all that it was worth. He’s another lost opportunity that could have been and I am torn as to whether I would have traded in a 1:1 for the chance of seeing the special trailer of footage that they did during the panel. It really does look like an intense film and I cannot get some of the imagery out of my skull, the slo-mo boobie jiggle that was flashed during one moment in the reel could have some adolescent reason why.

Alas, after watching all the copious coverage on other, more up-to-the-moment, sites I was left thinking that there isn’t really any point to physically transcribing any of the panels that I saw up-close; you already know what was said and done and described in ways only the geek obsessed could have brought to life.

I am, though, going to make the MP3’s of the roundtables available.

Where else can you listen to muffled questions and louder than hell responses from rooms that have poor acoustics? Nowhere, that’s where! It’s my bit to try a) at least bring something unique to the Comic-Con coverage you’ve no doubt grown sick of b) keep from getting not-quite-but-sort-of-hate mail like I did last year from people who got bent when I ran a few panel interviews in leiu of my weekly column on trailer talk and c) do you know how long it takes to transcribe audio? It’s a bitch.

I will, much to the delight of many, running at least one 1:1 in its full transcribed glory and that would be the time I spent with Jim Mahfood, soul funk artiste extraordinaire. He’s a guy who has been producing some of the best comic art in the past decade, in my own estimation and I know I’m right, and I didn’t leave his booth until I plopped down some serious coin to make sure I voted with my dollars to support good art. Telling these people who make funny books that their work is fresh, original and means something to you fills a very private void us comic collectors have. When the person in question seems genuinely appreciative of the comment it’s a nice feeling to know that you’re helping to further the cause of creativity.

I went there with a pretty rank attitude because of being shut-out of so many opportunities that others got afforded but since I was able to hang with Mr. Plume who put a lot of this into perspective for me (Thank you, sir…) and Mr. Bell who shared how hated he was with the message board community on this site, but really deserves it because he is such a prick, I had a more satisfying experience than I was expecting. There’s so much more to add but as I roll out some of these MP3’s it will bring a lot more of this into context. P.s. – Bell was so extremely kind and happy to be there, it was his first Con, that you couldn’t help but feel good that this shared experience was with people you would’ve never otherwise known or met had it not been for Al Gore’s Internets.

I’M REED FISH (2006)

Director: Zackary Adler
Cast:
Jay Baruchel, Alexis Bledel, Schuyler Fisk, Victor Rasuk, DJ Qualls, A.J. Cook, Katey Sagal, Chris Parnell
Release: June, 2006 (Newport International Film Festival)
Synopsis: A drama focused on three residents of the same small town: a radio DJ (Baruchel), a convenience store owner (Qualls), and the local beauty (Bledel).

View Trailer:
* Large (Flash)

Prognosis: Positive. I like this trailer.

It’s sweet in a way.

It seems like it’s from one of those movies that reminds you of how while it’s important to have your wheelhouse stocked with movie knowledge that encompasses the real vital films that are part of common discourse it’s also important to have flicks like these around to remind you that it’s not all about how many people know about the film; sometimes it’s just good to have something to say and to be able and render it on the screen.

I feel cozy, in a way, when I watch this thing if for no other reason than I am quite appreciative of not being visually assaulted to “buy into” this film’s premise. This is a sale made on what’s present in the movie and it’s a rarity to even find a trailer that would risk potential viewers by not trying to latch on my jugular and shake me into submission to see this movie.

To wit, this movie starts off, launches, right into things with Jay Baruchel. For those that may be unfamiliar with the man he was the one that just radiated that “Kick My Ass For No Good Reason…Please” vibe in Undeclared, the short-lived series on Fox, but he shines right away, right out of the gate. The trailer just eases us gingerly, like it’s a hot tub and we’re all dudes grabbing our junk as we settle in slowly so as to not scald the twig and berries, and I like it. Reed Fish is a dude in a very small town who has an even smaller radio show. He’s getting married in three weeks, has a funny ass friend who is very unhinged and there’s an element of possible danger to all of this in the beautiful vessel delivered unto us with the name of Schuyler Fisk; she’s hot and she appears to be able and deliver a lot of Van Dammage. The jaunty soundtrack is quite complimentary to all of this, unobtrusive and transparent, and as I look at the running time I see that all of this has been in done in 48 seconds.

Most trailers can’t get this far in as much time.

To boot, and this is neither here, there or anywhere, the trailer progresses without any nod to the players in this thing. Even though we’re only really talking about Katey Sagal, Chris Parnell, Alexis Bledel and DJ Qualls this is a lot of talent wafting in and out of scenes with nary a card proclaiming these people anywhere to be seen. Risky but it works here. It’s like being allowed to walk down Times Square without the noise or interference.

Cue musical interlude by Schuyler Fisk. Of all the times I’m scouring IMDB or some other site to track down the tunes that are played in a trailer I cannot recall a moment when a player in the film itself has been the basis for the action that follows. Sure, there was DUETS but, please, let’s keep this discussion framed around actors and not twits who suddenly develop English accents after marrying emo rockers.

This trailer is succinct, attractive and it pulls you into its tractor beam with its charm. I wish I could recommend this film for viewing but that’s the nature of being an indie: you just don’t know where it’s going to pop up.

THE LAST KISS (2006)

Director: Tony Goldwyn
Cast: Zach Braff, Jacinda Barrett, Casey Affleck, Michael Weston, Eric Christian Olsen, Rachel Bilson, Blythe Danner, Tom Wilkinson, Lauren Lee Smith, Marley Shelton
Release: September 15, 2006
Synopsis: THE LAST KISS is a contemporary comedy-drama about life, love, infidelity, forgiveness, marriage, friendship…and coming to grips with turning 30.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative.

I never quite got what it meant to be a eunuch, literature abounding in the idea of castrated boys and men, until I saw the trailer for this movie.

I feel nothing.

Not a spark, not a tingle, not a flash of something inspiring. I’m not sure why this is as I am a pretty solid Braff fan from his stints on Scrubs and even for the wickedly powerful GARDEN STATE. The latter of which had a wonderful trailer that made my top ten list for 2004 (it ranked number 3) but I don’t know why the initial moments of this trailer is just painful to watch.

I like the idea of a dude coming to terms with his life as he turns 30, the trailer just leading off with this notion as Zach narrates his own reflection, but it doesn’t work. The camera coming in close to Zach as his voice rolls in is just, for lack of a better adjective, hokey. It’s almost like he’s trying out to be a part of Country Time lemonade’s newest campaign as he sits, reflective, in his little suit, slightly disheveled, and is about to start talking about how many days there are left in the season for him to be able and take a slow bike ride in the hills of the country.

I get that this is trying to set up a poignant piece about how people age, the benchmark here being a guy turning 30, but CLERKS II is almost about popping that notion open as well but it isn’t as gloomy as this to say nothing of Jacinda “MTV in the heezie” Barrett who tries again to play that role of love companion as best she can; you’ve got to love the staying power of models turned actresses.

We’re slowly dragged, like forgotten, leashed dogs on a rear bumper, and I’m trying to identify with something about this film only to be disappointed with hearing that Zach’s character feels trapped by his age that there “are no more surprises” left for him in his life and he’s so bummed by the fact he has a hot girlfriend and pretty nice situation. Then, as if on cue by a screenwriter who needed to add some kind of turmoil into the mix to make something interesting, Rachel Bilson’s doe eyes present themselves to Zach’s.

Let the unraveling commence!

“From the writer of MILLION DOLLAR BABY and co-writer of CRASH”

Okay. I know some people thought these were both earth shattering movies that deserved their Academy Awards but, please, let’s be honest here. The former was a good movie that had a plot device thrown at it from out of nowhere and had some real issues of believability to it. The latter was also pretty good but it’s concerns for larger social maladies were ill conceived and didn’t really have anything original to say. That said, yes, the card here proclaiming where this new movie has sprung is not only necessary but I am glad people will be able and know what they’re going to be getting when they go see this movie.

The musical cue here Snow Patrol’s righteous “Chocolate” is played behind all the quick clips that somehow bring a more kinetic quality to the picture and I am utterly thankful. The morose tone and beat of the film up until this moment really is like a more flaccid GARDEN STATE trailer redux. With the uptempo emo pop song you’re finally seeing what this film could have tricked me into thinking.

The last moments are fleeting, packed with more punch than everything that has come before and I am just floored that this movie does a commendable job with finishing what it started but, try as it does, it’s like trying to grab a piece of soap when your hands are covered in oil. It just doesn’t happen.

AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM (2006)

Director: Aaron Russo
Cast: Sheldon Cohen, Ron Paul, Phil Hart, Peter DeFazio, Katherine Albrecht
Release: July 28, 2006
Synopsis: Determined to find the law that requires American citizens to pay income tax, producer Aaron Russo (“The Rose,” “Trading Places”) set out on a journey to find the evidence. Neither left, nor right-wing this startling examination of government exposes the systematic erosion of civil liberties in America since 1913.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: As Chuck said from CAN’T BUY ME LOVE, “Chilling.” Don’t know. Just don’t know.

One thing that I realize, the more I grow older, is that I am much more keen on how I am being screwed over by “The Man,” that nebulous glob of government which takes my money and then expects me to go along with every law and public stance it takes. The other thing that’s harder to swallow, though, is knowing that no matter how loud I scream at those who make the laws is that they don’t care. No governmental official has ever been turned on their heels by any petition drive, a phone call to their office or an email into their HQ. Instead of just thinking that my voice doesn’t count, which it almost doesn’t in a state that loves its guns and portly republican representatives, I like to champion the works of people who want to raise awareness and shame those who would otherwise ignore us.

While not a completely destructive film this trailer does look like something worth watching.

“I went on a quest to find out whether there was a law requiring Americans to pay an income tax…”

Right out of the chute we go from what seems like a quest to get information on income tax to hippies and average joes getting their collective asses kicked with a constitutional scholar telling us about government using force on its own people in order to further its own political agenda. We even get George W. Bush letting us know that civil liberties are important to him while a title card, right next to him, quotes him in November 2005 saying that, “The constitution is just a goddamn piece of paper.”

Huh?

We get another scholar to tell us that what The Man is selling us in Washington with regard to Americanism is closer to the kind of communism that we were fighting over there in Vietnam and Nazism of Adolf Hitler with images of Americans who have been physically brutalized by its own police forces (again, these could be the dirty hippies who cause all those problems at the G-8 meetings and Winchell’s when those raspberry glazed are all gone). The propaganda that’s being used by this filmmaker is topnotch stuff. They really make a great effort to go right for the jugular with the kind of message they’re trying to create. Although, I have no idea what any of this has to do with income tax.

Next we get a republican, a balanced viewpoint, talking about the national ID card that all of us will have to carry with us by May 2008. I can’t vouch for the film’s claim that this is the case but, again, all good propaganda jumps on an emotional trigger and sticks with it. Kudos to these people.

We get some talking head speaking about how it doesn’t really make a difference who you vote for in an election, someone else talking about how easily it would be to rig a voting machine and, finally, some talk about this dam income tax thing.

No, it seems, there really isn’t a law requiring me to pay it but, like the flick says, dudes with guns will show up and strip me of my freedom if I don’t. To wit, more and more people come on the screen to talk about all these crazy things that are coming down the pike under the guise of big brother wanting to track my every move but it just seems jumbled up in what the initial aims of the trailer were in the first place.

Everyone deserves a voice but this trailer is all sorts of crazy in that it can’t focus on a main thesis and then build everything around that. As it stands, there are a lot of sensationalist ideas and images but nothing really cohesive to tie it all together.

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP (2006)

Director: Michel Gondry
Cast:
Gael Garcia Bernal, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Alain Chabat
Release: September 15, 2006
Synopsis: A man held captive by the people in his dreams tries to wake himself up and take control of his own imaginings.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Delightfully Positive. Fellini was full of himself.

John Waters makes self-indulgent projects that do nothing to inform the human condition.

Michel Gondry’s high-falutin style marries vision, oddity and emotionality in a none-too-easy package to understand but its rewards when you finally get it are immeasurable. That said, this trailer’s all sorts of fucked up.

“Uno, dos, tres, cuatro…”

The moment opens up cleanly with a heavy influence of weird. I think that we’re in the sleeping mind of Bernal and every indication of weirdness makes me believe such is the case. The scene is crisp, well-lit and the pseudo talk show that is going on in his mind tells us what goes into making dreams. The moment is drenched in the kind of accepted bon mot-tery that is entirely indicative of Gondry’s style as a filmmaker.

Gael wakes up.

The scratchy recording that plays beneath the creatively thought out cards in-between the actual video is actually pretty soothing; whereas most of the time I am on edge because I know I’m being sold on a movie Gondry’s trailers for his last two films have disarmed me in a way where I am just satiated to just watch the thing and not think too much about it.

Stephane likes a girl names Stephanie. Now, as the trailer lets us know, Stephane has a hard time distinguishing real life from his dream life. Obviously, this presents the kind of problem that not even Harry T. Anderson could solve in 30 minutes when that old bag held the courtroom hostage with a grenade because she couldn’t tell the difference between television and real life on Night Court. Of course, in that respect, all that was used was a VCR to help Harry get the point across but Michel seems to be utilizing visual cues that rival any surrealist movement in his arsenal of ideas.

The set pieces, though, are visually lush. They kind of vacillate between absurd and beautiful while being completely understandable.

These two Stephs seem to come together but repel one another in a tragic sort of way but you can honestly feel the chemistry between them. While even though Stephane is quite obviously a loon in need of a large quantity of psychotropic medication, as he at one point rams his pretty neighbor’s door with his head, you can sense that he has it enough together to keep himself fed, dressed and productive in society. Yeah, the trailer makes him out to be a little odd but there’s sympathy for him.

As the trailer comes closer to its end, his love interest finding her way into his mental talk show by way of his obsession, I am transfixed by the latest employer to use a unique ditty in setting the tone for the rest of the piece. The song is “Your Heart is an Empty Room” by Death Cab for Cutie and just watching what’s happening here is agonizing to know that things might not end well. I wouldn’t expect less from Gondry.

 

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