FRED Entertainment

December 12, 2006

Holiday Havoc Day 7: Kaspar Hauser’s SkyMaul

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:38 am

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Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

Ain’t that cool?

Today we’ve got an exclusive from the comedy troupe Kasper Hauser – a deleted ad from their SkyMall parody SkyMaul, that was deemed just too rude to print.

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As I stated in our holiday shopping guide: “Parody, as an art, is incredibly difficult. But you know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. Kasper Hauser, in their aneurysm-inducingly funny parody of those already ludicrous in-flight catalogs, SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy From A Plane (St. Martin’s, $14.95 SRP), have managed to pull off a parody that builds on the inherent comedy and makes the humor transcendent. Which is all just a way to say that ads for products like Reality-Canceling Headphones, Crack Pipe Chess Sets, Llamacycles, and other absurdist offerings are very, very funny.”

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Click the image to download a larger version.

Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/12/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:11 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • How not to slingshot your drunk friend… (Thingamabob)
  • Genndy Tartakovsky animates Nicorette… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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QSE News: 12/12/2006

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:46 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAcclaimed actress and Hyperthyroidism sufferer, Tori Spelling, garnered her most successful career move to date this weekend when she staged a giant yard sale at her Studio City home.  Hundreds of “fans” gathered to snatch up such “Spelling-licious” items as wine glasses, lingerie and a large, dusty, cardboard box labeled “Daddy’s Love.”
  • Columbia Pictures and Sam Raimi have secured the rights to produce a new film based on the pulp hero The Shadow. To update the character into the modern age, executives at Columbia sent a memo to Raimi urging him to consider changing the “look” of the character by dressing him in a “blue and red body-suit.”  The memo also stated that the studio “REALLY wants The Shadow to have the ability to shoot a “˜web-like’ substance from holes in his wrists.”
  • In a continuing effort to shy away from anything offensive, producers of this season’s Super Bowl have announced that Prince will be performing during the hallowed Half Time Show.  Prince has said that he will play a variety of songs from his catalog and looks forward to making the game’s large male audience “question their sexuality even more than watching men run around in tight pants and patting each other on the butt does.”
  • Actor Lou Diamond Phillips has pleaded “no contest” to charges of domestic violence.  Ironically, this event marks the first time since the film Young Guns that Phillips and the word “hit” have been mentioned in the same breath.
  • And finally, one of Japan’s most famous female stars has published a tell-all book that has all of Japan talking. In it, Mariko Ishihara tells of her sexual exploits, reveals some tawdry secrets of the Japanese entertainment industry and even “names names.”  Considering this book has fired up the country that gave the world Bukaki and the “used panty” vending machine, it just became the QSE “must have” gift of the season.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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December 11, 2006

2006 Quick Stop Holiday Shopping Guide

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:46 am
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It’s that time of year again, when sites the web-over compile helpful holiday shopping lists to guide you into the deepest, darkest pits of retail with a map that will hopefully get you out alive. Here now, without further ado, is the 2006 Quick Stop Holiday Shopping Guide…

For those of us old enough to remember Mr. Hooper, viewing an “episode” of the current version of Sesame Street is a little like seeing McMurphy after he was lobotomized in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Gone is the sly, hip, multigenerational humor that defined the groundbreaking show’s early years – replaced instead with an infantilized, toothless program that has lost its ability to teach anything but how insipidly saccharine it has become. In fact, I won’t even let my nephew watch it, for fear of it turning him off to learning – and The Muppets. Thankfully, someone must have been awake at the wheel over at Sesame Workshop (formerly the Children’s Television Workshop, or CTW), because they’ve released the first volume of what they’re calling Sesame Street: Old School (Sony Wonder, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features the complete, uncut premiere episodes from the first 5 seasons (well, except for a segment featuring a pop icon who wouldn’t clear the song used… Boo! to him). If that weren’t glorious enough, there are 45 additional bonus segments, the original sales pitch from 1969 (featuring Rowlf!), and more. Watching classic Sesame really drives home just how much they’ve lost the plot in recent years. Bring on volume 2 as fast as you can, because I’ve got to have something to show my nephew…

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Everyone has a holy grail toy or collectible that they’ve wanted ever since they were just a kid. For some, it’s a Red Ryder BB gun, for others it might be a Boba Fett figure with firing missile – for me, it was simply a Kermit that looked like Kermit. It could be a doll, or a puppet, or an action figure – it didn’t matter, as long as it actually looked correct. The Henson company, through its long history, has had a horrible time of actually getting licensees who could produce accurate representations of the characters. Too often, the proportions were off, the materials were shoddy – the bottom line being that they were just not right. It wasn’t until Palisades came along a few years back and began producing their Muppets action figures that accurate representations of these cherished characters began to be released for fan consumption. But there was still the holy grail of actually owning a Kermit the Frog – a *real* Kermit the Frog. I won’t go into the history (you can find it elsewhere), but I played a role in getting my holy grail produced – a Kermit the Frog “photo puppet” from Master Replicas ($199). If you’re not familiar with the term “photo puppet,” they’re essentially fully-poseable, full-bodied representations of the Muppet characters used for photo shoots. They have an internal armature, but are constructed of the same patterns and materials as the workable puppet. Master Replicas have done a masterful job of creating a truly unique collectible that fans will kick themselves repeatedly if they don’t pick up. Considering the unbelievably reasonable price point and the edition size of only 2500, you’d be a fool not to snag one as soon as you possibly can.

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This holiday season, I intend to spend those cold winter nights holed up with hot chocolate, Little Debbie Christmas Trees, and – Would you believe? – the complete 5 season Get Smart box set (Time Life, Not Rated, DVD-$199). Long a fan desire, never did I think that not only would we get completely uncut, stunningly remastered episodes that make the series look sparkling fresh, but that the entire run would be released in a special box set absolutely loaded with bonus features. In an age when studios release bare bones season sets only to screw over fans be releasing comprehensive, feature-laden sets at the very end (Hello, Fox!), this comprehensive bonus-filled bonanza is a true delight. Those bonus features include audio commentaries (with the likes of Mel Brooks, Buck Henry, James Caan, Barbara Feldon, Bernie Koppell, Don Rickles, and more), interviews, bloopers, featurettes, Emmy footage, rare commercials, and much more – literally hours of material. Packaged in a box comprised of multiple doors (ending with the phone booth), the set is currently an exclusive available only at TimeLife.com.

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It’s been a long, long, LONG wait for the Steven Spielberg-produced Warner Bros. cartoons to hit DVD, and while Tiny Toons is still MIA, fans should be eagerly snapping up the first two volumes of both Animaniacs and Pinky and The Brain (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP each) this holiday season. The 5-disc Animaniacs sets feature the show’s first 25 episodes apiece, plus voice artist Maurice LaMarche interviewing his fellow castmates and the writing staff about the show and their favorite episodes. Meanwhile, Pinky and The Brain advance their plans to take over the world with 4-discs and 22 episodes per volume, which also contain an interview with Rob Paulsen and Maurice LaMarche (Pinky & The Brain) and voice director Andrea Romano, as well as an awkward confrontation between Paulsen and LaMarche when they meet a pair of actors trying out for the big screen Pinky & The Brain – Mark Hamill & Wayne Knight. Must have more!

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As a fan of the original Christopher Reeve/Richard Donner Superman film, I was more than delighted with the 4-disc box set released back in 2001, featuring the remastered director’s cut of that first flick, as well as the diminishing returns of its 3 sequels. Never in my wildest dreams, though, did I ever anticipate something as glorious as The Ultimate Superman Collection (Warner Bros., $99.98 SRP). Not only are those original quartet of films completely remastered and looking better than they ever have (including even their theatrical runs), but it’s been bolstered with the inclusion of both the original theatrical and the 2001 director’s cuts of Superman. If that weren’t enough, the set also features the legendary “Richard Donner Cut” of Superman II (Donner was fired and replaced by Richard Lester before he could finish the sequel, which he had shot concurrently with the first film), plus fully remastered editions of the Fleisher Superman cartoons of the 40’s, Bryan Singer’s Up In The Sky! documentary, the Superpup pilot, additional documentaries and featurettes, and much more? And that’s not even including the 2-disc special edition of Singer’s Superman Returns, which you’ll also find in the set. An incredible, one-stop set, no? And while you’re at it – because you know you’re a completist – why not pick up the incredibly flawed, incredibly campy, but nicely remastered international cut of Supergirl (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), featuring a commentary from director Jeannot Szwarc and historian Scott Bosco? You know you will.

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At long last, with the release of Star Trek: The Animated Series (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$54.99 SRP), fans can finally rejoice in the knowledge that every televised Star Trek show and the entire run of feature films is now out on DVD. Ever since the release of Enterprise wrapped over a year ago, the anticipation for the early 70’s cartoon adventures of Kirk & crew has been high, with every scrap of information as to when it would finally see the light of day eagerly anticipated. Well, it” finally here, looking better than ever and sporting audio & text commentaries, a retrospective featurette, a look at the connection between the live action and animated series, a storyboard gallery, and a history of the show. If that weren’t enough, it also comes packaged in a snazzy plastic case similar to the ones that contained the original series DVDs.

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If you’ve never heard of the UK quiz programme QI, you’re missing out on one of the funniest “educational” shows ever devised (the devisee being creator/producer John Lloyd, formerly of Blackadder, Not The Nine O’Clock News, and Spitting Image). The key to QI (which stands for “Quite Interesting”) is the central tenet of its philosophy – it’s not always being correct that counts, but interesting (and funny). The interesting nature of a given piece of information spurs conversation and debate, eventually leading round to the learning said informational nugget. Did you know that the Earth has more than one moon, for example? Or that otters kill crocodiles? Airing on BBC2 (and currently in its 4th season), it’s hosted by Stephen Fry and features a rotating panel of four comedians (one of which is mainstay Alan Davies) – and it’s one of the most hilarious shows I’ve ever seen… Honestly, you’ll laugh as much as you learn, and I hope a network in the US is smart enough to pick the show up uncut (Hello, Comedy Central! Hello, Discovery Channel! Hello, PBS! Somebody!). Until then, you can grab a copy of the interactive QI DVD game (Warner Home Video, DVD-£18.99), a 2-disc, feature-laden DVD set of the first season (2 Entertain, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99) – both of which are available only for Region 2, so make sure you have a Region Free player – and the very first QI Book of General Ignorance (Faber & Faber, £12.99), which collects much of the interesting information featured in the first four seasons into one handy volume. By all means, learn what all the hubbub is about (and stop by the official QI site at www.QI.com). 

 

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I’m not knocking the rest of their fare, but the only series that transcends the fraternity comedy of much of the Adult Swim line-up is The Venture Bros. (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). Featuring some of the sharpest writing on TV – let alone adult animated comedy – it also contains an incredible cast of characters that are light-years beyond the cheap archetypes populating most series. Go pick up the complete first season set, and catch up with the reruns of the second season.

 

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There are collectibles that are basically overpriced knickknacks that prey upon pop culture sensibilities, and then every once in awhile something will come down the pike that complete transcends geeky knickknackery and qualifies as an impressive work of art in its own right. I felt that latter rush when removing Sideshow Collectibles’ scale replica of Spielberg’s killer shark, Jaws ($279.95), from its massive box. Measuring an incredible 28″ from nose to tail, this is a jaw-droppingly stunning piece, sculpted to accurately portray the mechanical “Bruce the Shark” designed for use in the ’75 blockbuster. Mounted on a blue acrylic stand with an adjustable nameplate, it’s limited edition that trumps any Jaws collectible of the past and I daresay future – if you get this, you’ll be beyond satisfied.

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For years, it was thought that the inordinate amount of musical clearances necessary would impede a complete season-by-season release of Saturday Night Live, but those not insubstantial hurdles must have been overcome since we now have the complete and uncut release of SNL: The Complete First Season (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP), featuring the Not Ready For Primetime Players literally figuring out what exactly the institution would become while putting on a seat-of-their-pants live program every week. In fact, it’s not until a few weeks in that the shape of the show finally begins to coalesce, and the likes of Belushi, Aykroyd, Chase, and Radner begin to make the show their own, instead of it being a showcase for guest hosts and musical acts. The 8-disc set also features the original screen tests, plus a 1975 TV interview with the cast.

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While writer Roy Thomas’s Stan Lee’s Amazing Marvel Universe (Sterling, $50.00 SRP) would have been a must-have overview of the formative years of Marvel Comics and the equally amazing Lee in its own right, the addition of Stan Lee’s audio remembrances makes it an essential experience for anyone who grew up entranced by Lee’s hyperbolic universe and giddy hucksterism. Attached to the impressive tome is an audio player that, when you come to a cue within the book itself, you can press to hear Stan himself relate stories and anecdotes based on what you’ve just been reading about. In practice, it’s like getting an audio commentary from “The Man” himself, and I can only hope that more books will utilize this unique technology.

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Of all the shows with fans clamoring for a DVD release, very few have been as requested as the single-season of the Saturday morning animated Dungeons & Dragons (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$54.98 SRP), which aired during the 1980’s. I remember liking it as a kid… of course, I also liked Kidd Video. Still, those amazing guys at BCI (with Ink & Paint DVD) have constructed an wonderful set for the series, collecting all 27 episodes across 5-discs, with audio commentaries, interviews, rare/alternative footage, trivia, and even a “radio-style” performance of a “lost” script which wraps up the series’ cliffhanger ending. If that weren’t enough, geeks will love the handbook included with the set, which integrates the animated characters fully into the D&D universe.

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Back when Shane MacGowan could still be intelligible, he and The Pogues crafted what many consider to be their masterpiece – If I Should Fall From Grace With God (Rhino, $11.98 SRP). Not only is this new edition complete remastered and loaded a half-dozen bonus tracks, but it contains one of the most amazing, poignant, and powerful holiday tunes ever penned – MacGowan dueting with the late Kirsty McColl on “Fairytale of New York.”

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I can think of no harder to intellectual task than trying to explain a joke, and comedian Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greaves have tackled an even more formidable task in Only Joking: What’s So Funny About Making People Laugh? (Gotham Books, $23.00) – namely, why do we laugh at jokes? Are they universal to everyone? Are there gender-specific jokes that leave the opposite gender with nary a chuckle? Do jokes span cultures and ethnicities? What spurs the laugh reflex, and why is it so closely associated with fear and tension? Far from being a dry discourse, the book is quite a funny exploration that will certainly spur some thought… and, seeing as how it’s also packed with dozens of jokes from dozens of comedians, it may just leave a smile on your face, as well.

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Before we move on, I’d also recommend you pick up a pair of Region 2 releases featuring Mr. Carr, beginning with a 2-disc collection of his stand-up DVDs, Jimmy Car: Live (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£22.99) and the first uncensored highlights collection of the panel show 8 Out of 10 Cats appropriately subtitled Claws Out (Channel 4, Not Rated, £19.99). It’s a shame that the extent of Carr’s penetration into the US market is Comedy Central’s import of the Carr’s UK gameshow Distraction, because the man is freakin’ hilarious.

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If I were to come up for the best metaphor to describe what reading Neil Gaiman’s Sandman was like – as I sat down with the very first trade paperback, long after a vast fanbase had taken it to heart during its initial run – I’d call it a literary Chinese finger trap. What seemed at first like a rather simple act of reading a piece of graphic fiction quickly ensnared me – so much so that I lost an entire evening trying to extract myself from the fantastic world Gaiman and a bevy of top-notch illustrators had created, only finding freedom after having read the entire run in one sitting. I’m usually not a fan of “double-dipping,” whereby a company will get me to buy another copy of something I already own by dangling the prospect of bonus materials or better quality, but there is no doubt in my mind, after heaving held and lovingly paged through it, that the first volume of The Absolute Sandman (Vertigo, $99.00 SRP) more than lives up to its title as the definitive collection of Gaiman’s epic. The premiere volume (of an eventual four) features the first 20 issues completely restored and recolored, bound in a beautifully slipcased hardcover edition. In addition to a new introduction by DC publisher Paul Levitz and an afterword by Gaiman, the volume also contains the full script to the award-winning “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” as well as Charles Vess’s original pencils. I can’t recommend this highly enough.

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It has now become a welcome holiday tradition that as the year comes to a close, you can hunker down during cold winter nights watching classic cartoons with the latest Looney Tunes Golden Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$64.98 SRP). As with previous sets, Volume 4 features 4 discs full of fully restored and remastered gems starring Bugs, Daffy, Porky & pals, with a dazzling array of bonus materials – including commentaries, documentaries, featurettes, and more – providing welcome icing on the already filling holiday cake. Those just wanting a featureless sampler of the cartoons themselves at a reduced price can pick up the fourth volume of the Looney Tunes Spotlight Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP). Also available for the holidays is a brand-new Looney Tunes holiday film, Bah Humduck! (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), which recasts Dickens’ Christmas Carol with Daffy fulfilling the Scrooge role as the proprietor of the Lucky Duck megamart and Porky as his long-suffering manager.

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Of course, the grand poobah of this here site also has a pair of DVD releases worth picking up for the holidays – and I’m not just saying that because he pays my bills. Long before I came to run Quick Stop Entertainment, I was a fan of Kevin Smith – in fact, I attended the Wilmington, NC stop of his college tour that eventually became An Evening With Kevin Smith. As a monologist, Smith is a crackling, visceral, very funny guy – in fact, in terms of delivery and timing, he ranks with the best. I don’t know how to define what “it” is, but he’s got the chops to carry an audience through an anecdote like nobody’s business – which is why I dug his second stand-up set, An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$28.96 SRP). The 2-disc set features gigs in both Toronto and London, as well as behind-the-scenes featurettes (in particular, the one starring Jason Mewes is a keeper). You will never view Dora The Explorer in the same way ever again.

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But before he was a master of one-man performance, Mr. Smith was a filmmaker – starting with a little film called Clerks. A little over a decade later, he returns to familiar territory – and beloved characters – with Clerks 2 (Weinstein Company/Genius, Rated R, DVD-$29.95 SRP), which finds Dante & Randal bereft of the Quick Stop and working at a Mooby’s under the managerial eye of a comely lass named Becky (played with a twinkle and sly grin by Rosario Dawson). It also finds our two heroes at a crossroads in their lives, attempting to determine exactly what their lives should be as the leave their 20’s further and further behind. Going in, I wasn’t sure what I was going to think of the film – Clerks was such an icon of its era, and to revisit it seemed almost sacrilege. Thankfully, awkward moments were spared, as I thought Kevin managed to make a film that combined the raunchy, witty, character-driven fun of the early View Askew flicks with the maturity he brought to the severely underrated Jersey Girl (yes, I liked it… a lot). As with previous View Askew DVD releases, this 2-disc set is literally packed to the brim, including 2 audio commentaries, deleted scenes, an impressively in-depth feature-length making-of documentary (Back To The Well: Clerks II), bloopers, and 10 of the “Train Wreck” online diaries.

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Keeping it in the family, add Jeff Anderson’s directorial debut Now You Know (Weinstein Company/Genius, Rated R, DVD-$19.95 SRP) to your shopping list. Anderson also wrote this comedic tale of a young man (Jeremy Sisto) who returns to his Jersey hometown after his fiancée cancels their engagement, and hangs out with his lawnmowing slacker buddies (played by Anderson and Trevor Fehrman). Is it a slacker paradise, or should he try and right his torpedoed nuptials?… and is she even still available? Bonus features include an audio commentary, a Q&A, and an intro to the film from Anderson and some guy named Kevin).

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Erik the Viking (Arrow Films, Not Rated, DVD-£15.99 SRP) is one of the “lost” post-Python films, overlooked by many in favor of more well known efforts from the likes of Cleese (A Fish Called Wanda) and Gilliam (Brazil). Still, I find writer/director Terry Jones’s tale of a Viking with a conscience (Tim Robbins) to be an enjoyably fun flick, with many of the whimsical and visual qualities that have marked much of Jones’s style. Unfortunately, the original cut of the film was somewhat rushed, and Jones has never been happy with the theatrical version – which means, in this modern DVD age, he’s been given the chance to go back and tweak it for a new 2-disc special edition… well, actually, his son Bill Jones has done the tweaking, producing the “Director’s Son’s Cut” of Erik the Viking. While the US edition is MIA with no release in sight, Arrow Films in the UK has put together a beautiful special edition featuring both cuts of the film, audio commentary with Terry Jones, and interview with Terry and his son Bill, a making-of featurette, extended cast interviews, and a photo gallery.

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I’m a huge space nut, and nothing has disheartened me more than the seeming loss of awe and wonder for space travel in kids today. Of course, granted, I was a member of the Young Astronauts as a kid, and haven’t lost that excitement when learning about space. One of the most enjoyable, informative books to cross my desk is Kids To Space: A Space Traveler’s Guide (Apogee Books, $29.95 SRP). It’s truly amazing – basically, it’s a collection of hundreds of questions about space, space travel, and space science posed by America’s school children and answered by astronomers, physicians, astronauts, educators, engineers and scientists. If you’ve ever wondered things like what’s a black hole and how soon we’ll be able to go to Mars (and what we’ll eat and drink there) – the answers can be found within. Not only great for getting kids interested in space, this book is also an amazing resource for writers. Apogee books has an amazing collection of space-related releases, including Go For Launch: An Illustrated History of Cape Canaveral, Sex In Space, and Dr. Werner von Braun’s never-before-printed science fiction Project Mars: A Technical Tale.

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Mezco has taken the South Park toy license – one which was has been horribly misused by other companies in the past – and have been putting out a consistently great line-up of figures over the past year, featuring some very nice sculpts and welcome characters. While all are worth picking up (although you’ll probably have to resort to eBay for older waves, due to the popularity of the figures), you’ll find a pic of one of the most recent waves below – featuring Jesus, Butters, Mr. Mackey, Timmy, Frozen Kenny, and Policeman Cartman (Mezco, approx. $12.99 each, depending on the retailer). Notice how accessory-heavy they are, and rejoice that not only does Timmy come with the time-travel machinery for the back of his wheelchair, but Jesus has pitchers of both water and wine.

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Let that not be your only South Park gift this holiday season, however, as you’d have to have a heart of stone and a bear trap wallet to pass up the 6″ talking Cartman (Mezco, $24.00). With a dozen catchphrases from the show – all rude and wonderful (including “Screw you guys – I’m going home,” “Kick ass,” “You guys are hella stupid,” and more) – it’s sure to brighten any fan’s desk. In the pic, you’ll see just how much larger it is than the regular Cartman figure.

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Jerry Seinfeld cites it as the primary influence for his own show, and anyone who views The Abbott and Costello Show (Passport Video, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP each) will clearly see the precedent it established for a comedy set in New York City and almost entirely about unique characters and everyday events, rather than your typical sitcom fare. It was also anchored by an amazing comedy duo who managed to reinvent themselves for the small screen without falling into the trap of other comedians making the transition, who seemed to believe they were back on a vaudeville stage rather than pioneers on a brand new medium. I can’t recommend the two 5-disc sets comprising the complete 2-season run of the show highly enough, which also feature Lou Costello’s rare home movies, interviews with the duo’s children, the complete “Who’s On First?” routine, and the DVD premiere of the Abbott & Costello short film 10,000 Kids and a Cop.

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I have immense respect for any cartoonist who can make a career out of single panel gags – particularly if they’re consistently funny. Long before Gary Larson made The Far Side into a prime example of this in the 80’s, Hank Ketcham’s Dennis The Menace was king of the single panels on the daily comics page. Not content with just their amazing Complete Peanuts line, Fantagraphics has also been releasing Hank Ketcham’s Complete Dennis The Menace (Fantagraphics, $24.95 SRP), the third volume of which is now available, covering the period from 1955 to 1956.

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Many of you out there may have fond memories of the small, square, single-color Peanuts books in the “Happiness is…” series, which began with the legendary Happiness Is A Warm Puppy and included titles like Happiness Is A Sad Song, Security Is A Thumb And A Blanket, and Home Is On Top Of A Dog House. The entire series, full of Peanuts philosophy and art, are being re-released (Sterling, $5.995 SRP each) and make the perfect stocking stuffer.

 

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Parody, as an art, is incredibly difficult. But you know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. Kaspar Hauser, in their aneurysm-inducingly funny parody of those already ludicrous in-flight catalogs, SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy From A Plane (St. Martin’s, $14.95 SRP), have managed to pull off a parody that builds on the inherent comedy and makes the humor transcendent. Which is all just a way to say that ads for products like Reality-Canceling Headphones, Crack Pipe Chess Sets, Llamacycles, and other absurdist offerings are very, very funny.

 

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Watching the dozen episodes that comprise the second season of Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$26.99 SRP), I’m baffled as to why the show isn’t still running to this day. Katz and the gaggle of comics that populated his couch seeking therapy (including Ray Romano, Kevin Meaney, Joy Behar, Emo Phillips, Janeane Garafalo, Garry Shandling, Steven Wright, Joy Behar, and more) produced comedy that remains timeless – and the interaction between the good doctor and his aimless son Ben (H. Jon Benjamin) manages to top even that. In addition to a pair of audio commentaries, the bonus features bear out my theory that the show could easily return with a trio of audio “follow-up calls” between Katz and Wright, Phillips, and Behar. Until Comedy Central recommissions the show, snap up this set and the previously available first season.

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I hate double and triple dipping on titles, but the newly remastered films comprising the James Bond: Ultimate Edition (Fox, Rated PG/PG-13, DVD-$89.98 SRP each) look so incredible compared to the previous releases that the upgrade doesn’t feel nearly as bad as it could. These films have never – ever – looked better. The 20 films are spread across four 5-disc box sets, and each flick gets a 2-disc edition containing not only the bonus features from the previous releases, but newly-produced commentaries and featurettes as well. Snag the lot of them for yourself, or make sure someone special gets them under the tree this year.

 

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I love it when a collectible pushes all of my nostalgia buttons, and that’s certainly the case with Dark Horse’s beautifully sculpted 6″ vinyl Underdog figure ($17.99). How can you possibly look at that and not want one? You can put it on your desk, right next to the talking Cartman figure.

 

 

 

 

 

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No game show feels more gloriously representative of its era than Match Game, hosted by odd uncle-type Gene Rayburn. The game was almost irrelevant compared to the swinging era banter – and occasional cattiness – of the 6 “celebrities” comprising the show’s all-star panel that would fill in the “blanks” on phrases like “When Lola walked into the prom, everyone was amazed. You see, not only was her prom dress strapless, it was also BLANK-less.” Those celebrities included the likes of Jack Klugman, William Shatner, Vicki Lawrence, Fannie Flagg, Charles Nelson Reilly, and the devilish Richard Dawson. The 4-disc Best of Match Game (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) contains a selection of 30 episodes (including one featuring Kirstie Allie as a contestant), plus a tribute to Gene Rayburn, the original 1962 pilot, a retrospective look at the best moments with Brett Somers, and an interview with Somers.

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While collections have been available in the past, Fantagraphics has pulled out all the stops on the new chronological collection of E.C. Segar’s Popeye (Fantagraphics, $29.95 SRP). Also known as Thimble Theater, Volume 1: “I Yam What I Yam” begins its collection in 1929 (Thimble Theater began in 1919) with the introduction of a sailor named Popeye into Segar’s eccentric strip full of oddball characters. As lovingly constructed as Fantagraphics equally must-have Complete Peanuts, the first volume covers 1928-1930, featuring dailies as well as color Sundays. Hopefully, next Christmas will bring a complete Pogo collection…

 

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Based on the success of the first volume, fans of The Electric Company (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) can get quite the stocking stuffer for themselves (or the children in their life) full of old school instruction starring Bill Cosby, Morgan Freeman, Rita Moreno and Spider-Man with the second volume collecting even more episodes from across the series’ long, lauded run. The 4-disc set contains 20 more episodes, plus a retrospective featurette, new episode intros, trivia, and a Dick Cavett Show segment with Bill Cosby. And while you’re at it, if you haven’t already, why don’t you pick up the first volume, as well? Maybe that will speed the release of the next set…

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Ah, but your holiday viewing is still not over! You absolutely must get The Original Television Christmas Classics box set (Classic Media, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), featuring Rankin-Bass’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty The Snowman, Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town, The Little Drummer Boy, Frosty Returns, and Cricket On The Hearth.

 

 

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I have a theory that every property eventually gets a decent action figure line, even if they’ve had numerous dud licensees in the past. Case in point are the wonderful Looney Tunes figures coming out of DC Direct (approx. $12.99), which finally give these characters the respect and attention they deserve. They’re being released as 2 pairs of complimentary figures from a specific film – for example, Series 1 featured Bugs and Elmer in full regalia from Chuck Jones’ “What’s Opera, Doc?” and Sylvester and Daffy in the swordfighting scene from Jones’ “The Scarlet Pumpernickel.” Pictured below is Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner from “Scrambled Aches.” Hopefully, a future wave will give us Robin Hood Daffy and that laughing porcine Friar Tuck.

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For the true cineaste on your holiday shopping list, how about the limited collector’s edition of Cinema Paradiso (Miramax/Genius, Rated R, DVD-$39.99 SRP)? The set includes the 2-disc special edition of the film – which includes both the U.S. theatrical cut and the original director’s cut, an audio commentary, 2 new documentaries, and trailers – a CD of Ennio Morricone’s soundtrack, and one sheet & lobby card reproductions.

 

 

 

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If you have any History Channel junkies on your shopping list (I count myself in that addicted number), then you should probably pick them up the massive 10-disc History Channel Ultimate Collections: World War II (History Channel, Not Rated, DVD-$59.95 SRP). The set collects 30 of the Channel’s documentaries covering both the war in Europe and the war in the Pacific into one comprehensive (and large) compendium packed with archival footage, interviews, plenty of context, and more. If that weren’t enough, the set also features documentaries from the History Channel’s “blunders” series – Battle of the Bulge, A Bridge Too Far, The Bomb Plot To Kill Hitler, and The Scattering of Convoy PQ17.

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By all means, you can have your Darrell Hammond and Jimmy Fallon “Best Of” collections, but the Saturday Night Life: The Best Of… collections I was really looking forward to was for Robert Smigel’s Saturday TV Funhouse (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). In addition to the original special that aired a few months back (which featured some truncated cartoons), the DVD features additional Funhouse pieces, including uncut versions of those edited for the broadcast. Best of all, though, is the collection of audio commentaries on the set – featuring Smigel, Mr. T, Al Franken, James Carville, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Bryant Gumble, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and more. Truly priceless, and truly funny. I demand a second volume posthaste.

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Where most would opt to simply record a Christmas album, Elton John decided to collect together his favorite holiday tunes into Elton John’s Christmas Party (HEAR Music, $15.98 SRP), featuring 21 tracks from the likes of The Pretenders, The Band, John Mayer, Jimmy Buffett, Otis Redding, Bruce Springsteen, The Beach Boys, Rufus Wainwright, The Ronnettes, The Flaming Lips, and more.

 

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Director Robert Zemeckis employs a lush all-CG canvas to bring the visual splendor of Chris Van Allsburg’s Polar Express (Warner Bros., Rated G, $26.98 SRP) to life, taking Tom Hanks along to play 5 different roles in the film – most important being the conductor of the magical train that carries a doubting child to the North Pole for a face-to-face with Jolly St. Nick. Unfortunately, that lush imagery doesn’t survive the translation to moving pictures, with much of the animation in the character’s faces being more akin to a zombie flick than a holiday perennial. The 2-disc set features behind-the-scenes featurettes, a nice mini-doc on Chris Van Allsburg, a deleted song, and more.

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Although it’s no longer all over the television dial like it used to be when I was a kid, not a year goes by when I don’t take the time to watch It’s A Wonderful Life (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP) during the holiday season. The special edition features a beautifully restored print (a far cry from the grainy, scratched prints of my youth), a making-of documentary, a tribute to Frank Capra, and the original theatrical trailer.

 

 

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Speaking of must-have holiday films, you can now snag a 2-disc set featuring both the original black & white and colorized versions of Miracle on 34th Street (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). Disregard the colorized version, but definitely watch the fully restored black & white original, with commentary from star Muareen O’Hara, Fox Movietone News footage, AMC Backstory, a promotional short, a featurette on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, and a TV version of Miracle.

 

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Of those that have released new holiday albums this year, one that has been getting the most spin in my player has been James Taylor At Christmas (Columbia, $18.98 SRP), which finds the singer/songwriter putting a wonderful spin on seasonal chestnuts like “Winter Wonderland” and “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” as well as treats like Joni Mitchell’s “River.” It’s definitely a “warm and fuzzy sitting by the fireside and sipping a mug of hot cocoa” kind of holiday album.

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Obsessive people always make the best documentary subjects, and such is the case of those featured in Wordplay (IFC, Rated PG, DVD-$24.95 SRP), which focuses on Will Shortz – the puzzle editor at The New York Times – and the people who create and obsess over the puzzles that run in that esteemed daily. The film features testimonies from famous faces who are obsessed with his puzzles, including Jon Stewart, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Ken Burns, the Indigo Girls – just a few of the estimated 50 million other Americans who enjoy the crossword of champions. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, an interview gallery, featurettes, 5 “unforgettable” puzzles, and more.

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Those of you in a charitable mood – who share that attitude with a love of British comedy – should pick up the Region 0 PAL release of The Secret Policeman’s Ball: The Complete Edition (ILC, Not Rated, £24.99). For those of you unfamiliar with the series of concerts over about a 10-year span, they were a collection of comedy and pop acts – including the likes of the Pythons, Neil Innes, Peter Cook, Eric Clapton, Rowan Atkinson, Sting, and dozens more – that banded together to raise money for Amnesty International. This 5-disc box-set collects the lot of them, along with the retrospective documentary “Remember The Secret Policeman’s Ball.” Not only is this a collection of legendary British comedy, but 10% of each sale goes to Amnesty International.

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During its initial run, I always heard great things about Aaron Sorkin’s The West Wing (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$299.98 SRP) – whose snappy patter chronicled the trials and tribulations of the fictional Bartlett administration of the United states. As portrayed by Martin Sheen, imagine a cross between Kennedy and Clinton and you have a pretty good idea of the liberal ethos on display. Despite avoiding getting swept up during its seven season run, it wasn’t until the complete collection box set arrived that I decided to take the plunge – mainlining the entire run. No small feat, I assure you. As with Sorkin’s work in the past, it teeters between sublimely brilliant and pompously self-important, but I found myself riveted overall, and eagerly anticipating who would succeed Bartlett at the end of the seventh – and final – season (and actually wishing for a different outcome than the one we got). The 45 discs comprising the set are exactly the same as those found in the individual season releases – featuring audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, and gag reels – but new to the set (besides the handsome, sturdy case emblazoned with the presidential insignia) is the pilot script, with an introduction from Sorkin, as well as an episode guide. If you haven’t begun picking up the series on DVD yet, this is definitely the way to go.

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So there you have it… our humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this holiday season. Hope you make it out alive…

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Holiday Havoc Day 6: Neil Innes

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:11 am

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Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

Ain’t that cool?

Today we’ve got an exclusive holiday tune from Neil Innes.

It was during the Jurassic period (the late ’60s) that Neil was a member of the legendary Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, madcap purveyors of esoteric music (Who else would revive music hall standards in the age of rock? They did it, and it worked!). Their biggest hit was the deceptively poignant “I’m the Urban Spaceman” (While the credited producer on that track was one “Apollo C. Vermouth,” he’s better known as Paul McCartney”¦ Sir Paul McCartney, these days).

While firmly ensconced within the Bonzos, Neil first became acquainted (and vice-versa) with Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones while working on Do Not Adjust Your Set, a children’s show whose viewers tended to skew a bit older than the intended audience. Eric, Mike, and the two Terrys went on to form Monty Python with Graham Chapman and John Cleese, and The Pythons called on Neil’s musical skills numerous times over the years, particularly when producing their best-selling albums. When John Cleese decided to move on to greener pastures prior to Python’s fourth series, Neil stepped into the void as a contributing writer and performer. Neil was also tapped for Monty Python & the Holy Grail, contributing music and a memorable performance as the annoyingly truthful minstrel of Eric Idle’s cowardly Sir Robin. Not willing to let him get away just yet, Neil was brought in again for their follow-up film, The Life of Brian (wherein he outruns certain death during the colosseum debate scene).

holidayhavocinnes2006-12-1102.jpgEven while working with the Pythons, Neil continued his solo career, and it was during this period that he produced one of his most memorable compositions, the haunting (and perpetually relevant) “How Sweet To Be An Idiot.” His BBC program, Innes Book of Records, ran for 3 series and featured 90 original tunes. From torch song and ballad to rock and parody, the show featured an exceedingly wide range of styles.

It was during the latter-half of the ’70s, however, that Neil produced his most enduring work. While collaborating with Eric Idle on the post-Python TV series Rutland Weekend Television, the two devised a brief Hard Day’s Night parody with Idle portraying a boring filmmaker (so boring the camera ran from him) and Innes providing the Beatles-esque “I Must Be in Love.” During his next hosting gig on Saturday Night Live, Idle unleashed the short film on the American public. That led to SNL‘s Lorne Michaels producing a mockumentary of the mock-band, named The Rutles, for NBC. All You Need Is Cash aired on March 22, 1978, starring Eric and Neil as one half of the “Pre-Fab Four” and featuring songs by Innes. In 1996, Innes reunited with Rutles bandmates John Halsey and Ricki Fataar to release The Rutles: Archeology, which sported 16 brand new tracks “discovered in the vaults,” a la The Beatles Anthology.

Neil continues to write and perform, and has recently released his latest solo album, Works in Progress (which you can learn more about at neilinnes.org or order here). He’s toured the UK with a reunited Bonzo Dog Band, and is about to launch an experimental podcast called “Radio Noir” on his official website, EgoWarriors.com

In fact, Neil sent us over an exclusive preview of “Radio Noir,” which also contains his holiday tune “Tinsel & String,” just for all of you Quick Stoppers…

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Download Neil Innes’ “Radio Noir – Tinsel & String“:

 

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Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review Alias: The Complete Fifth Season

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:25 am
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All good things eventually come to an end, as they say, and so did Alias, in a somewhat shorted fifth season, bid farewell to its fans, both legion and seasonally confused. The boxed set of Season 5 is now available (it hit the street on November 21, 2006, for $39.95), and it also comes as part of a complete series box set which features supplementary material not available elsewhere.

Birds

To answer the question of what went wrong with Alias you have to first affirm what was right about it. It’s initial season was exciting and sexy, with a slightly boggling but intriguing multi-layer premise (Sydney Bristol as a spy within a spy). The second season was more of the same, but resolved a number of situations, and destroyed the secret evil organization with the CIA, SD-6, only to do something surely unique in episodic television: create a season ender that leaps two whole years into the future ( Battlestar Galactica did something similar at the end of its previous season). This was a prelude to a third season in which creator J. J. Abrams was suppose to solve all the “problems” of the show, which were essentially issues of repetitiveness, water treading, the sluggishness of the Rambaldi stuff, and too much confusion: no one could just “drop in” on Alias, and in that regard it more resembled an HBO show than a regular prime time network program. Season three imposed more impediments between Sydney and her former control, Michael Vaughn, i.e., he got married to someone else, who proved to be an undercover agent (replicating a situation that happened to Sydney’s dad), while she becomes an agent for a conventional CIA, battling The Covenant.

Crash

Then, like many TV shows, Alias, after making many, many changes and introducing and then disposing of numerous characters while taking many new and different directions, ended up right where it began, with Sydney working for a covert division within the CIA led by the vile Arvin Sloan, who had killed someone close to practically everyone who now worked for him again. THough few people are actually killed in Alias; they usually manage to come back somehow, including Michael, who we see at the end of season four getting smashed by a truck.

Character-adding got out of control, and so in the middle of season five, while Sydney and the team were pursuing Project 5, ABC pulled the plug. The show took a hiatus in winter, and came back to wrap up all its story threads in a 19-episode season. This amounted to clearing up tangled messes caused by some of the new characters and finding a deeply satisfying “demise” for arch villain Sloan. In a coda, one reminiscent of Kill Bill, the show jumps into the future yet again, and catches up with a final quartet of characters.

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You can actually track the rise and fall of the show through its credit sequence, one of the most popular in TV history. Alias has one of those theme tunes that make you want to leap up and dance to it (like the one at both the beginning and end of MST3K). The first credit sequence was a triumph of catchy yet ominous music and graphic design. Magically it embodied the sharpness of the show. But with the fourth season Alias offered up a truncated theme song and added images of Jennifer Garner in a succession of her trademark costume changes and disguises. It’s true that Garner is the heart of her show (it must be disconcerting for male actors to work across from someone who has better bone structure than they do), but this addition seemed both pandering and soulless. The final season had a credit sequence that tried to squeeze in images of all the cast with even more dubious results.

Still there are many pleasures to be hand in the final season, mostly to do with Sydney and her relationship with her father. And the Rambaldi material is finally wrapped up (which isn’t to say that it is cleared up).
Buena Vista Home Entertainment does its usual job with the season, offering up the shows in excellent transfers (in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen) that look better than the TV broadcasts and great sound.

Supplements are relatively modest, but for a reason we’ll get to in a second. There are four commentaries, over the episodes “Prophet Five” (with director Ken Olin, Producer Jeff Pinker and Sydney’s dad, Victor Garber), “Bob” (with writers Monica Breen and Alison Schnapker and cast members David Anders and newcomer Rachel Nichols), “The Horizon” (writers Josh Applebaum and Andre Nemec, along with the episode’s director Tucker Gates), and “There’s Only One Sydney Bristow” (in a novelty yak track featuring the Alias set’s production assistants).

Abrams

The fourth disc has the bulk of the video supplements. They kick off with “Behind the Scenes at the 100th Episode, which shows making of bits plus footage at the cast and crew “birthday” party. This is followed by “The Legend of Rambaldi,” which starts out as a parody of a History Channel segment before devolving into video interviews with cast and crew about their favorite Rambaldi artifacts. “The New Recruit: On Set With Rachel Nichols” interviews the young actress, while “Heightening the Drama: The Music of Alias,” profiles composer Michael Giacchino. Finally, there is a bloopers reel. All of these segments last about seven to 10 minutes.Those Alias fanatics who made the mistake of buying the season sets as they came must be kicking themselves a the advent of the complete season box set. It’s notable for a single disc of extras called “Endgame.” Among its unique featurettes are “Case Closed: A Look Back at Five Years of Alias,” “Alias Time Capsule: The Pilot Interviews,” “Forty-Seven,” “Axis of Evil,” some deleted scenes, a cover gallery for Alias Magazine, and a small hardcover book about the show’s mythology. Naturally, this disc (which I haven’t seen, only read about) comes only with the boxed set.

QSE News: 12/11/2006

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:07 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgComedy Central is set to air a new satirical cartoon named Lil’ Bush. The cartoon will follow a younger version of Bush and some of his friends as they make their way through elementary school. To keep the show as authentic as possible the show will remain on the air regardless of whether or not the majority of the United States population likes it.
  • Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg are pairing up for a tour of Canada. All 14 Black people in Canada are reportedly “totally stoked.”
  • Nerd’s rejoice!!  After months of speculation, it has been confirmed that director J.J. Abrams will helm a new Star Trek prequel movie scheduled to hit theaters in 2009.  When asked for comment, one fan, who was seen wearing pointy, prosthetic ears and peering at the outside world from a basement window in his parent’s home, proclaimed, in perfect Klingon, “Kluck ha gamog!!  Kluck ha gamog!!!”
  • Metallica has written 25 songs for a new album. Commenting on the style of the new songs, drummer Lars Ulrich said “In my day we didn’t have these fancy recordin’ contraptions that they have now-a-days. We use to record using wax and a needle stolen from our mother’s wretching machine.”
  • And finally, Mariah Carey is suing a porn star over the use of a similar name. Porn star Mary Carey responded to the suit saying “Oh yeah”¦ You like that? Oh. Give it to me. Harder. Faster.  Yeah, that’s it.  You’re a dirty boy.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/11/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:56 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Jim Henson performs Kermit the Frog, accepting some special holiday tidings from Michael Eisner. (Thingamabob)
  • The Fraggles celebrate the Festival of the Bells… (Thingamabob)
  • “Listen, and hear what I say, for a change…” (Thingamabob)
  • Robbie Williams on Ant & Dec’s Christmas Takeaway(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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December 8, 2006

Comics in Context #157: Our Nation’s Cartoons

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 10:50 pm
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cic2006-12-08.jpgFrom its founding right through the end of the twentieth century, The New York Times would not run comics and did not even employ an editorial cartoonist. Presumably the Times considered comics and cartoons too déclassé for a serious, proper newspaper like itself, in contrast to its tabloid competition. The flagrant exception to the Times‘ rule were Al Hirschfeld’s caricatures of Broadway and Hollywood performers in the Arts and Leisure Section, but Hirschfeld reportedly considered himself an “illustrator,” not a “cartoonist.” In the School of Visual Arts’ current Jules Feiffer retrospective, there is a comics page that Feiffer did for The New York Times Sunday Magazine in 1974 that is satirically presented as the kind of comics the Times would run if it ran comics: titled “Hodgkins of State,” it is an (intentionally) deadly dull policy discussion by two members of the foreign service.

But now look at this year’s annual Holiday Books issue of The New York Times Book Review (Dec. 3, 2006). On the list of the “100 Notable Books of the Year” is Alison Bechtel’s Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, which the Times helpfully classifies as a “graphic memoir,” solving the problem of what to call a book in the graphic novel format that deals in nonfictional autobiography. Ivan Brunetti’s An Anthology of Graphic Fiction, Cartoons, and True Stories, including work by Daniel Clowes, Robert Crumb, Art Spiegelman, and Chris Ware, receives a review that takes up two entire pages. (The “Speak: Nine Cartoonists” exhibition in New York City earlier this year served as a preview of this book. See “Comics in Context” #122.) The author of this review, David Hadju, writes that “If anyone really qualifies as the voice of the current literary generation, he or she could well be using the language of cartoons, captions and word balloons.” There is a “Holiday” roundup review headed “comics,” covering Will Eisner’s New York: Life in the Big City, Marjane Satrapi’s Chicken with Plums, and a new volume of George Herriman’s Krazy & Ignatz, among others, written by Douglas Wolk, one of my colleagues at Publishers Weekly’s Comics Week. (It is a pleasure to see the Times assign a comics review to someone who actually has a background in writing about the medium.) Another “Holiday” roundup, on “Drawings,” includes not only a collection of the work of Saul Steinberg, who long ago was welcomed into the precincts of high art, but also caricaturist Drew Friedman’s book Old Jewish Comedians, and a book called The Sweeter Side of R. Crumb, which, by Crumb’s own description, contains “adorable, heartwarming, and lovingly rendered drawings.” This makes me think of the “lovingly rendered” drawings of women I was surprised to find in the Crumb section of the “Masters of American Comics” exhibit (see last week’s column). Scott McCloud classifies Crumb as an Iconoclast, who strives to convey truth about life rather than artistic craft and beauty; perhaps this book shows not just the sweeter but the Classicist side of Crumb. This Holiday Books edition also includes reviews of Neil Gabler’s massive new biography of Walt Disney (about which I will have more to say next week) and Linda H. Davis’s biography of Charles Addams. There’s even a critique of a book called Presidential Doodles: Two Centuries of Scribbles, Scratches, Squiggles and Scrawls from the Oval Office. And meanwhile the Times continues to run a weekly comic by Seth in its Sunday magazine section.

A decade ago the Times would have run reviews of biographies of Disney and Addams. Regardless of whether or not one admires his work, Disney is recognized as a major figure in American popular culture. Moreover, back in the twentieth century some forms of comics and cartoon art had more cultural respectability than others. One of those categories was the cartoons in The New Yorker, including those by Addams, who donated his artwork to the New York Public Library, which for years has been displaying them in their own gallery (see “Comics in Context” #72). Even when I was a child my local library in a Boston suburb carried book collections of editorial cartoons (including those by Herblock), histories of newspaper comic strips, a 1940 coffee table book about the making of Disney’s Fantasia, and even some collections of comic strips, notably Walt Kelly’s Pogo, whose political satire won it cultural respectability, as Doonesbury would receive later.

Still, the considerable amount of space that this year’s Holiday Books issue of the Times Book Review devotes to comic and cartoon art is mightily impressive. In his review of Brunetti’s anthology, Hajdu writes that “Among the events that helped establish jazz as a serious art was the concert “˜From Spirituals to Swing,’ staged at Carnegie Hall in 1932,” which “brought together an eclectic array of African-American musicians. . . in the same hall famous for presenting Stokowski, Toscanini, and their high-toned like.” Hajdu believes that Brunetti’s book serve the same purpose for comics. To my mind, Yale University Press’s publication of the Brunetti book is merely one of a number of events in 2006 that mark the comics medium’s transition into cultural respectability. This issue of the Times Book Review is another, and “Masters of American Comics” may be the foremost.

It’s not just the museums and galleries of New York City that have been celebrating the comics medium this year. The Friday after Thanksgiving I made a day trip down to Washington D. C. to visit the Library of Congress to see its current exhibition “Cartoon America: Highlights from the Art Wood Collection of Cartoon and Caricature,” which runs through January 27, 2007. In connection with the show, Harry N. Abrams has published the book Cartoon America: Comic Art in the Library of Congress, edited by Harry Katz, the former head curator of the Library’s Prints and Photographs division, which includes original cartoon artwork. The Abrams book has a format similar to that of Yale University Press’s Masters of American Comics catalogue; there is a long essay about the history of comics, in this case by Katz, followed by an array of essays, mostly about individual artists, by an extraordinary lineup of contributors. Whereas the Masters book was a catalogue of the show of the same name, the Cartoon America book does not limit itself to examples of the Wood collection on display, but deals with the Library’s entire range of holdings in original cartoon and comics art.

The book jacket for Cartoon America features a knockout illustration by Richard Williams (not the animator of the same name), showing Mount Rushmore redone with the faces of Charlie Brown, Ignatz, Bill Griffith’s Zippy the Pinhead, and Popeye; the original art is included in the exhibition. It’s a gag kidding the elevation of American comics and cartoons into the realm of serious art, but that elevation is real. The introductory wall text for the exhibit, by its co-curators Sara W. Duke and Martha H. Kennedy, reprinted in its brochure, declares that “The Art Wood Collection of Cartoon and Caricature. . .is a jewel among the Library’s special collections. . . .”

But, enjoyable as Williams’ redesign of Mount Rushmore is, do Charlie Brown, Ignatz, Zippy and Popeye really convey the full range of American “comic art”? Something seems missing.

In the foreword to the Cartoon America book, James H. Billington, the Librarian of Congress himself, writes that “Few people realize that the “Library of Congress is home to one of the world’s great collections of original cartoon art.” He explains that “The library began to collect and preserve cartoons and caricatures within decades of its founding in 1800, recognizing their value as vehicles of social and political commentary and as original works of art” (p. 7). This is highly prescient and admirable, although Billington’s description suggests that the Library’s primary interest was in editorial cartooning.

James Arthur “Art” Wood, Jr. is a longtime editorial cartoonist who was also a major collector of cartoon art, compiling what Billington calls “the most comprehensive private collection of original historical American cartoon art known to exist” (p. 7). In 1995 Wood opened the National Gallery of Caricature and Cartoon Art in Washington, D. C. to exhibit his collection to the public; however, due to lack of funding, it closed merely two years later. (Maybe one of the gallery’s problems was publicity: I had heard about it but was never able to find out where it was.) So, instead, Wood donated his collection to the Library of Congress in 2000, which, according to Katz, “more than doubled the Library’s already outstanding cartoon art holdings. . . “ (p. 13). Billington states that the Library has also recently acquired other “notable collections” in cartoon art besides Wood’s.

“Cartoon America” is very different from the “Masters of American Comics” exhibition. “Masters” is, as Times critic Holland Cotter put it, a “masterpiece show” (Fri., Nov. 24), dealing solely with fifteen artists whom it presents as the most accomplished practitioners of the medium; the selection of works, the wall texts and, even more so, the catalogue make strong analytic arguments for the visual greatness of the Masters’ works. Though virtually all the works in the “Cartoon America” show merit exhibition, they are not all on such a high level of achievement. For example, the section about comic strips includes an example of Cathy Guisewite’s Cathy, which would be no one’s choice as a miracle of graphic mastery and beauty; its virtues lie elsewhere, in its wit and perceptiveness. (Now here’s a prime example of McCloud’s Iconoclast school.) The curators included an example of Bil Keane’s The Family Circus, which is infamously banal as both writing and art; I could only justify that on historical and sentimental grounds.

Whereas “Masters” narrowed its focus to little more than a dozen cartoonists, “Cartoon America” seems to aim for a more encyclopedic approach to American cartoon art. Billington writes of Wood, “Over time he compiled an extraordinary collection encompassing virtually every aspect of the genre and every era of our nation’s history” (p. 7). (By “genre” Billington means presumably means “medium,” though his choice of words may be revealing.) In the brochure Duke and Kennedy write that the 102 original artworks in their show reveal “the vitality of an innovative and evolving art form that includes political illustrations, gag cartoons, comic strips, illustrations, animation, and caricature.” Something big still seems to be missing from this encyclopedic survey, though, as we shall see.

Not having been to Washington D. C. since the last century (i. e., 1999), I was looking out for changes, but found few. Well, there was that colossal new building across the Mall from the East Building of the National Gallery of Art; that turned out to be the new National Museum of the American Indian. Just as surprising were the new traffic lights. When the “walk” signal goes on, a lower screen displays numbers that steadily count down towards zero; then the flashing red signal turns on, and another countdown begins, indicating how many seconds are left till the light turns solidly red and the traffic recommences. This had the effect of making crossing the street seem like an episode of 24: if I didn’t make it across in time, would the street blow up? And the countdowns, in turn, reminded me that this was my first visit to Washington D. C. after the 9/11 attacks. Another reminder was the long, slow security line at the public entrance to the Library of Congress’s Thomas Jefferson Building, complete with metal detector and X-ray machine. So, once I got through security, should I fasten my seat belt and wait for the Jefferson Building to take off? Do they still serve beverages?

The Jefferson Building is actually a monumental and magnificent Beaux-Arts edifice, whose Great Hall is an astonishing, almost overwhelmingly elaborate visual extravaganza of grand staircases, sculpture, murals of mythological and allegorical figures, and inscriptions about the value of wisdom. The “Cartoon America” show has been given a place of honor, along two opposite sides of the Great Hall.

I started with the “Animation” section, which not only displays artwork from classic animated films, but also features a video monitor showing corresponding sequences from the actual films.

Here was a drawing of Winsor McCay’s Gertie the Dinosaur backing away in surprise from a woolly mammoth; Gertie was the first great example of character animation that conveyed personality. This drawing was actually a tracing, made circa 1980, of McCay’s 1914 original.

Here too was a model sheet for Max and Dave Fleischer’s Betty Boop (see “Comics in Context” #116 and 117), labeled as being from 1932-1934. This looked to me like Betty after the movie industry’s Production Code started being enforced in 1934: her dress, with its high neckline, looked considerably more proper and her trademark garters were gone. Nevertheless, she was still in a minidress: in terms of fashion she was thirty years ahead of her time. Oddly, the video monitor showed the scantily clad pre-code Betty from Boop Oop a Doop (1932), fending off the advances of an obese circus ringmaster.

A highlight of this section was a “preparatory drawing” from the Fleischers’ Popeye cartoon Females Is Fickle (1940), showing Popeye, like a more combative Jonah, trapped inside a gigantic, semi-transparent jellyfish and punching his way out: this single drawing captured the dynamism of the full animated sequence, shown on the video monitor.

Here too were cels and watercolors for Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) (pgs. 15, 25), The Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia (1940) (p. 194), and Dumbo (1940). The most impressive Disney piece was a remarkable pastel for Bambi (1942) done by Tyrus Wong as a concept sketch, showing Bambi’s father, the godlike stag known as the Great Prince, standing between barren trees, atop a rocky crag (p. 191). The trees are in silhouette, the sky is gray, and the enormous rock is cast into deep shadow, but the godlike stag is lit by an aura of light, and seems almost to blend into it, and to glow.

The only other animation studio represented is MGM’s, through 1940 model sheets for William Hanna and Joseph Barbera’s Tom and Jerry (p. 197). But what about Tex Avery’s great MGM animated shorts, and, for that matter, Warner Brothers’ Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies? Mickey Mouse is in this show, but not Bugs Bunny; Hanna and Barbera made it in, but not Chuck Jones. And what about UPA and the whole history of American animation since the 1940s? (If you want to pick up where “Cartoon America” leaves off, go to New York City to see “Saturday Morning,” the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art’s comprehensive current exhibit on television animation.) Wood’s tastes in animation seem to have frozen in 1942, so the Library has a great deal of work to do to catch up in collecting animation art. But no, this isn’t what I mean when I say that something big is missing from the “Cartoon America” show.

Next came the section designated “Gag & Single Panel Cartoons,” and the examples on display ranged considerably in quality. Particularly interesting was a cartoon by Peter Arno (1904-1968), a “close variant” of which appeared in the September 19, 1936 issue of The New Yorker. It shows a group of apparently prosperous people, one of whom, according to the caption, is saying, “Let’s go to the Trans-Lux and hiss Roosevelt.” So these would be wealthy conservatives, probably Republicans, of the time, who were opposed to Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s New Deal programs to aid the masses who were impoverished by the great Depression. They’re heading to the Trans-Lux, a movie theater in Manhattan, to hiss at FDR when he appears onscreen in a newsreel. I suppose the contemporary equivalent would be cheering Rush Limbaugh or Bill O’Reilly on as they lash into liberals on talk radio or Fox News. The people in this cartoon are obsessed: they’re going to the movies, not to watch the feature film, but to sneer at FDR, who isn’t actually even there. Moreover, weirdly, Arno has placed these middle-aged and elderly characters in costumes, as if they’re going to a masquerade; what’s especially noticeable is that their legs are in tights, which is not particularly age-appropriate. Is the cartoon’s point that these reactionaries are letting go of their inhibitions, both about exposing their physiques and expressing their hatred for FDR? Or that they’re playing at politics like overage children playing dress-up? Is the cartoon even hinting that there’s something decadent about indulging in this petty political meanness?

Perhaps the ultimate extreme in what Scott McCloud calls the Iconoclast “tribe” of cartoonists is represented by the cartoons of the legendary New Yorker prose humorist James Thurber. In the Cartoon America book another celebrated New Yorker contributor, novelist John Updike, writes an amusing essay titled “Technically Challenged Carefree Ineptitude: James Thurber.” Updike points out that a childhood accident cost Thurber one of his eyes and damaged the other, causing his vision to continue to deteriorate in his adult life. Hence, Updike asserts, Thurber’s “development as a picture maker was arrested at a lively primitivism” (p. 216). Thurber’s limited sight provides a reasonable excuse, although I suppose he may simply have had limited talent as a draftsman regardless of the condition of his eyes. Updike further contends that “some of his best-known cartoons. . .were the product of a carefree ineptitude” (p. 216). He reports that Thurber himself confessed that when he tried to draw a seal astride a rock, the drawing came out looking like a seal inexplicably peering over the headboard of a bed, which proved to be one of his most memorable images (reproduced on pgs. 217 and 221). In other words, Thurber, through his lack of graphic skill, created happy accidents, and his far superior writing ability transformed these graphic lemons into lemonade.

Even so, Thurber’s ability to visually delineate the emotions of his characters can be no accident. In both the show and the book (p. 220), there is a cartoon, circa 1934, that Thurber drew on lined paper, like that of a schoolboy’s note pad. A bald man, his eyebrows furrowed angrily, his upper teeth bared, stretched menacingly over a nude woman, lying prone in the traditional position of an odalisque in art. The man’s left arm curves, as if it has no elbows, and ends in two visible fingers: it resembles not a human arm, but a serpent with mouth agape. His right arm and hand look more like a wing as if he were a bird of prey hovering over his victim. Nonetheless, Thurber’s childlike drawing style, and the man’s baldness, somehow deprive him of a sense of the menace: it’s something like Elmer Fudd posing as Don Juan. As for the odalisque, her face is rather plain, and she seems not frightened by the stalker but casual and nonchalant. “Oh, Mr. Benholding,” she says, “I never saw that look in your eyes before,” a romantic cliché made laughable by the absurdity of the picture. Updike contends that Thurber’s cartoons “were libidinous to an extent that pushed The New Yorker‘s youthful prudery to its limit” (p. 216). This cartoon is indeed about sex, but the joke lies in the contrast between the intense passion being evoked and the comical, sexless ordinariness of the potential lovers.

Though Updike refers to Thurber’s “technically challenged style,” he also points out that Thurber was able to use his graphic limitations to genuinely artistic ends: “His more crudely amateurish successors in minimalism demonstrate by contrast how dynamic and expressive, how oddly tender, Thurber’s art was” (p. 220). If Thurber is indeed an Iconoclast cartoonist, he’s an Iconoclast whose style I like, and this, along with Thurber’s comedic vision, is why. Remember that the “Masters” show called Charles Schulz a “minimalist.” Looking at Thurber’s simple figures and the strong, effective facial expressions and body language he gives them, it’s easy to see a connection between Thurber’s cartooning and Schulz’s.

Next I arrived at the “Comic Strips” section of “Cartoon America,” where several of the Masters reappeared. My favorite piece in the entire exhibition is E. C. Segar’s Sunday, May 12, 1935 page of Thimble Theatre Starring Popeye (which, alas, was not reprinted in the Cartoon America book). Popeye only has a cameo role in this Sunday page, whose strengths are actually more verbal than visual. This Sunday page’s central figure is instead trickster and hamburger obsessive J. Wellington Wimpy. The Popeye animated cartoons, which play down the importance of dialogue, have never done justice to Wimpy; this Sunday page demonstrates what makes him a great character in his own right.

At the outset Olive remarks to Popeye that “I’ll bet you Wimpy has desert madness–probably raving around saying poetry.” Indeed he is, addressing a desert flower sprouting from a cow’s skull out of a Georgia O’Keeffe painting. Maybe the proper comparison is to Hamlet with Yorick’s skull, for this Sunday page primarily consists of Wimpy’s rhyming soliloquy on his own mortality. “Oh, flower of death. . .so frail, so red/Growing from a thing so dead/Even as I will be quite soon/Merely bones “˜neath sun and moon.” Wimpy’s flowery doggerel is amusing, but he is nonetheless talking about a serious matter that one does not expect to find in a comedy strip like Popeye’s. And Wimpy goes on: “Ah, well/’Tis not for me to break the spell/ That links all things in a mighty plan/That cannot be changed by laws of man.” Now he’s talking not only about the inevitability of death, but about man’s helplessness against fate, and the “mighty plan,” presumably conceived by God, that governs the universe! Yet not even these cosmic concerns can ultimately overrule the dominant passion of Wimpy’s life. He tells the flower that “we both crave meat”; the skull out of which it grows is from the animal that is the source of hamburger meat. The subject of Wimpy’s soliloquy shifts from man’s role in the universe to the hamburger’s role in his diet, and reaching the climax, he finally collapses out of what seems a combination of his frustrated carnivorous passions and his own longwindedness. This is one great strip.

There was also a brilliant Peanuts Sunday from January 20, 1963 (p. 213). It too takes the form of a soliloquy, but in this case Charles Schulz devises a facial expression for Charlie Brown that reflects each psychological turn he takes in this extended monologue. After the introductory top tier of panels, the strip begins like a musical composition, sounding the theme: “Oh, how I hate these lunch hours!” says Charlie Brown, sitting alone, looking unhappily into his lunch bag. Shunned by the other kids, lunch hours just remind him of how much he is disliked; “During class it doesn’t matter,” he will tell us, presumably because then he is surrounded by other kids and can pretend he’s part of the community. He seems trapped in an endless cycle of unchanging, dreary lunch hours. Even the lunch in the bag offers no surprises that would break the monotony: “Peanut butter again.” Charlie Brown fantasizes about his unattainable ideal, the nameless little red-haired girl he loves from afar, and a moony expression comes over his face. But it abruptly vanished, as Charlie Brown’s own insecurities overwhelm him. He finally succumbs to despair: “Rats! Nobody is ever going to like me.” And he finally walks off, his lunch uneaten, as the composition closes by repeating the initial theme: “Lunch hour is the loneliest hour of the day.” The cartooniness of Schulz’s art style and the small, mundane scale of some of Charlie Brown’s concerns (e. g., peanut butter for lunch) render the sequence humorous, but as my recounting minus pictures should show, this soliloquy is simultaneously quite sad. It’s this balance between the humorous and the heart-rending that characterizes Schulz’s work at its best, as it is here.

In his essay on Schulz in the Cartoon America book, comics historian Robert C. Harvey makes a point about another balance that Schulz created in Peanuts, which I had noted in a previous column (see “Comics in Context” #66): the opposition between Charlie Brown’s melancholy and Snoopy’s joie de vivre. Harvey puts it particularly well: “against this. . .assessment of the human condition, Schulz balanced the fantasy life of Snoopy, a blithe beagle whose seeming brilliant success at every endeavor reassures us that life is not only about disappointment and endurance. It is also about dreams and the sustaining power of the imagination” (p. 214) Does Charlie Brown represent Schulz as the everyman who endures the mundane sufferings of everyday life, while Snoopy represents Schulz as artist, who finds joy in his own imaginative creations?

There’s a good example of Winsor McCay’s Dream of the Rarebit Fiend from 1906 in the show, but again, unfortunately, not in the book. A cranky man seated at the end of a trolley informs us that “I always like to sit in the corner of a car; then I don’t have people tramping all over me.” But as one passenger after another enters and sits down, the curmudgeon finds himself wedged into a corner. Then the trolley somehow turns ninety degrees, and the crank finds himself at the bottom of the trolley, being crushed by the weight of the other commuters, whereupon he wakes from his rarebit-induced nightmare.

The “Cartoon America” McCay work that I most liked, however, is not in the Library of Congress show but in the book. Co-curator Martha Kennedy wrote a brief essay for the Abrams book called “Winsor McCay’s Political Cartoons.” There is a long tradition in editorial cartoons of using symbolic figures, like the Democratic donkey and the Republican elephant which Thomas Nast popularized. McCay went much further with this, creating what Kennedy calls “allegories or parables set in otherworldly, fantastical settings” (p. 148). In my view McCay elevates political and social situations of his time to the level of myth.

For example, in the first cartoon accompanying her essay, from the 1920s, a man labeled as “Mental and Moral Courage,” who appears to be a giant, looks into the stormy heavens at lightning bolts labeled as “War,” “Depression,” “Calamity,” and “Discouragement” (p. 149). Notice that these menaces include not only external perils (“War”) but also threats to psychological well-being (“Discouragement”). Below this picture is a remarkable tier of five small panels, each showing living creatures violently battling one another: first two scorpions, then two sloths, then two roosters, next two dogs, and finally two human boxers. Kennedy interprets this series as “emphasizing man’s ability to overcome physical, animal passions.” I disagree: I interpret the sequence as contending that humanity is prey to the same aggressive behavior as these vicious lower animals. I suspect McCay means to contrast the battling boxers with his giant of “Mental and Moral Courage,” who he shows quietly observing the lightning bolts, presumably deciding on the best course of action to take, rather than simply charging in with unthinking violence.

The next cartoon, “Wheels of Industry,” also from the 1920s (p. 150), shows four giants, who dwarf Uncle Sam, the embodiment of America; these titans wear short skirt-like costumes and sandals, making them look like figures out of ancient Greece or Rome. These giants are labeled “Steel,” “Electric Power,” “Ford,” and “General Motors,” and they are pulling some sort of enormous mechanism with a huge wheel labeled “Industry.” Thus the great economic power of early twentieth century America takes on mythic proportions.

So does its crime. In the architectural fantasy of “City Crime Skyline,” circa 1930 (p. 150), a skyline of skyscrapers includes a brobdingnagian bottle marked “Bootleg Whiskey,” a colossal gun, labeled “Crime,” and a tower that might also be an immense syringe, marked “Dope.”

In the last cartoon, “Fame, Fortune, Wealth” (p. 151), circa 1928 (significantly, just before the great stock market crash), a veritable ocean of people surrounds a dinosaur-sized pig, who is draped with jewelry, and labeled “Fortune Wealth.” Kennedy correctly observes that “the pig alludes to the sin of gluttony and biblical admonitions against the worship of idols and false gods.” The gargantuan hog reminds me of the gigantic beasts of sword-and-sorcery tales. It’s also like Richard Wagner’s dragon Fafnir and other such creatures that obsessively guard treasures, literal monsters embodying greed. But McCay pointedly makes his beast no awe-inspiring dragon, a fit adversary for heroes. Instead McCay casts the monster of greed as a repulsive swine, rendering the people who swarm around it pathetic and deluded. The true heroes are the relatively few in the background who are scaling a difficult, rocky incline to reach a Parthenon-like edifice marked “Fame,” by which McCay surely means the reward for honorable achievement, and not mere celebrity.

I will continue my report on “Cartoon America” in a few weeks; next week is my annual Christmas column, followed by the annual holiday break. As for the mystery of what’s missing from the “Cartoon America” exhibit, if it’s not already obvious, here’s a clue. I recommend you read fellow Quick Stop columnist Fred Hembeck’s November 24, 2006 tribute to the recently deceased pioneering comic book historian Dr. Jerry Bails over at his blog. As Fred said, “Every single one of us who, over the last forty odd years, made the effort to sit down and write something serious (or even not-so-serious) about the once neglected funny book genre–whether in a crudely printed fanzine, a mass produced coffee table volume, or simply on our very own blogs–owes a deep debt of thanks to Dr. Jerry Bails.”
ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF
Now on sale in your local comics stores is the first issue of The Official Handbook of the Invincible Universe, an encyclopedia of the characters in Robert Kirkman’s superhero series Invincible, done in the style of the original Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. Since I was one of the principal writers of the Marvel Handbook, I was invited to contribute to the Invincible Handbook: the biographies of the various Guardians of the Globe are mine. An impressive lineup of artists was recruited to do the illustrations. It was a fun project to do, and I suspect it’ll be a fun book to read, even if you’ve never seen Invincible before.

Copyright 2006 Peter Sanderson

Scrubs Blog: Exploding TV

Filed under: Production Blogs,Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog,Video — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:51 am
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VIDEO BLOG #69: “My Exploding TV” ““
You’ve got a TV that absolutely, positively has to go out a window in episode 6×01 – so now what do you do? Find out in this week’s blog…

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Download Scrubs Video Blog #69:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 27.73 MB)
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10 Quick Questions: Blake Mycoskie & Missy Peregrym

Filed under: 10 Quick Questions,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 4:50 am

 

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by Christopher Stipp

I’m a terrible human being.

I have a Masters degree in Adult Education and Distance Learning and you think that I could do something worthwhile with that. Teach a class, mentor one of the forty plus million American adults who are functionally illiterate in this country, even help my own father with learning the difference between “there” and “they’re” would be a great start but, no, I just ply my wordsmithing here in this corner of the Internet and try to delude myself into thinking that I am giving some kind of esoteric pleasure to a few readers every week.

No, Blake Mycoskie is the real man of the year after hearing how this one-time reality TV star of what is the gold Emmy standard of all reality television, The Amazing Race, turned his passion of entrepreneurship into a thriving shoe company that goes beyond having the latest, greatest athlete sport his wares.

Blake has gone beyond creating a shoe that simply breaks your heart with the story of what went brought them to market, he has found out a way to rock your feet with a unique take on an old classic all the while being a model for what good corporate stewardship should be. No one should ever mistake Blake’s commitment to quality, not after you listen to how every pair of his TOMS Shoes is constructed but that, for every pair purchased, another pair is given to a child really less fortunate than either you or I. For those who don’t get it it’s easy: buy a pair, give a pair.

Charity has never been easier.

This year saw the development, planning, launch and debut of Mycoskie’s brain child while still finding time to have his inaugural “shoe drop” for kids in real need of footwear descend into Argentina in order to distribute 10,000 pairs of shoes. There are people who never do as much as Blake has done for other people who need more than they’ve been given and it’s only been his drive, spirit and help of those in higher profile positions, like actress Missy Peregrym, star of this year’s Stick It, to give Blake a little public boost.

As we talked about what makes this shoe unique and how one can go about buying a piece of high comfort, low cost, footwear you will see why this interview has already sparked a couple of purchases even before the ink was dry on this introduction.

You can’t help but feel inspired by what these shoes have meant to those who have in contact with them and, going into the holiday season, I would recommend that you go click on over to the TOMS Shoes website and either start browsing for your own pair or find out how easy it is to gift these bad boys for those you love. At $38 per pair, regardless if you’re a Bigfoot like me or a midget toed doe like your old lady, the site is an interactive joy to navigate. Find out why SPIDER-MAN 3’s Tobey Maguire is a fan (if you can’t trust Spider-Man, who can you trust?) or just know, all kidding aside, that there are kids in this world who deserve to have their feet protected and all you have to do is buy yourself a pair of TOMS Shoes.

This is one of the most inspiring pieces I’ve been able to write for Quick Stop this year and I thank Blake and Missy for giving me some of their own time in order to help me understand how shoes can make a difference in the lives of so many.

 

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CHRISTOPHER STIPP: Well, thank you for making time to talk to me. Now, I’ve read all the materials about TOMS Shoes but, for those at home, tell me how this all came about.

BLAKE MYCOSKIE: I was down in Argentina in January of this past year, basically hanging out on a farm, learning how to play polo and kind of getting away from the world. When I was down there I came across a shoe called the alpargata. The alpargata is a traditional Argentine farmer shoe that farmers have been wearing for hundreds of years and because the polo players, all their horses are on the farm, they spend a lot of time on the farms in Argentina, they were all wearing them after the games and since I was down there ready to play polo I thought, well, I’ll buy a pair and slip them on.

stipp-02.jpgAnd as soon as I put them on, I loved them. I thought they were cool, I thought they were really lightweight and comfortable. I grew up wearing Vans nonstop. So, to me, they were like a lighter weight Vans and were something different. I liked the style, I was wearing them around and on the last week of my trip I had already contacted a group called Insight Argentina before I went down there to do some volunteer work. What the organization does is to facilitate Americans and Europeans who are coming to South America for opportunities to volunteer. So, I met with my contact, her name as Angelique, and she told me that one of their big initiatives that they were doing was a shoe drive; they were going around colleting used shoes from people in Buenos Aires and taking them to different villages in Argentina for the kids.

I had never experienced that and when I went to one village and saw all these kids without shoes, and saw what they were doing, I guess from an entrepreneurial standpoint my mind was like, “There’s got to be a better way than just giving these kids used shoes that, typically, don’t even fit them.” Especially, when there’s this great alpargata shoe that they have which is their national shoe; it’s not that expensive.

The next day I was sitting on a farm with my buddy who’s a polo player who now runs our business down there, and this sounds kind of cheesy, but I literally turned to him and said, “I’ve got an idea. I’m going to start a shoe company and every pair of shoes that I sell I am going to give one pair back to these children that I met who don’t have shoes. We’re gong to provide shoes for tomorrow and the company is going to be called TOMS.” And, literally, from that first kind of idea it hasn’t really changed all that much.

So, I had the idea and he loved it and I don’t speak Spanish so I needed his help to translate. Right there, about at that same time, I sat there and showed him the alpargata shoe and kind of just spurted out my ideas of, “Let’s put a rubber sole, let’s do a nice leather insole, we’ll do multiple colors on the toes and the heels and he loved it. He was like, “Ok, let’s do it!” I ended up staying in Argentina an extra couple months, learning everything I could about the shoe business, it was quite funny, because everywhere I went people thought I was crazy; this is their peasant shoe. “Why in America would anyone want to buy an alpargata when you’ve got Nike and Reebok?”

stipp-03.jpgThey just didn’t get it. It made things difficult because they didn’t believe me when I said, to a supplier, “I’m going to buy this much fabric.” Or, “I want to hire you to do this,” and they figured, “Oh, you’re going to make, like, 10 of them and never see you again.” So it was important for me to explain that I was serious and that I had the financial backing to do it. We made the shoes, we made 200 pairs, a couple of little mom and pop makers helped to make the initial pairs. Even after that we just grew upon those and we’re still aren’t in a very large factory; it’s a very small operation.

And I came back at the end of April, beginning of May, with my 200 pairs and gave them to my friends here in LA and, luckily, I had some friends who were connected with some different celebrities so we were able to quickly to get them on a few of them, one of the first being Sienna Miller. That was a huge breakthrough because when that came out in OK magazine it was just about the time I was trying to get them into stores. And I’d like to give some stores credit who actually ordered TOMS before the story broke: American Rag, Scoop in New York, Milk on Melrose and Fred Segal. From that, we just got some press and some celebrities and it just kind of took off.

And that’s where Missy comes in! I’m done!

[Laughs]

STIPP: So, Missy, how DID you become involved with this footwear?

MISSY PEREGRYM:
Well, I went to this Emmy suite gift lounge where Blake was doing some charity for the event and I felt really bad because you’re supposed to give $40 when you went in and I did not have it. I had”¦how much did I have Blake?

MYCOSKIE:
You had 26 dollars.

[Laughs]

stipp-04.jpgPEREGRYM: I felt bad that I didn’t have that to contribute because they explained that if I pay the money then they’ll give me a pair and some kid gets another pair too. And, after I walked around, and got to his booth I was really impressed with what the company stood for, and I felt TERRIBLE that I only had $26 to contribute, and I knew there was no way I could take a pair of shoes, I couldn’t even pay for them. So, I was like, “Can you please take my $26 and maybe you can give my shoes to another kid?”

And Blake was, “No, get out of here.” He was really mean.

[Laughs]

No, he said, “I’ll give you a pair and I’ll give 2 pair of shoes to a kid.” And I thought, “Wow, that was really cool.” So, at that point I left and my publicist actually saw Blake the next day and said, “We want to go to Argentina.”

[Laughs]

Because, while I was talking with Blake he mentioned that he was going to be doing a shoe drop in Argentina. And it’s one those things where we’ve tried so many times to get involved with different charities and I’ve always wanted to volunteer but it was always so difficult because things were always getting ripped out from underneath me right before we were going to go do something. And when my publicist called me to tell me we were going to go do the shoe drop I was skeptical. I kind of never held onto the idea at all. When we found out that it was going to work out after all I had to, first of all, raise the money to be able and go. That’s when Joshua Miller and Tim Jackson from Category One Entertainment were really kind and actually sponsored me and my publicist Tej to be able and go on the trip. It turned out that I was almost not able to go because I booked a job a week before I was supposed to leave.

I didn’t think I could go and I was devastated that I was going to have to be in Atlanta instead of Argentina. I couldn’t understand why I was finally able to do something I wanted to be a part of and now I get a job, after a year. Then, four days later after getting the job, it didn’t work out that I could go on the job because they didn’t have enough time to work out my working papers; they didn’t have enough time to transfer my stipp-05.jpgvisa to go work with the studio. So, I lost a job, but I couldn’t really cry about it because now I had the chance to go to Argentina.

I ended up being able to go and it was, truly, the most amazing experience. It was life changing. It sounds so cliché but it’s the absolute truth.

One of the things that’s the most significant to me is that you go down there”¦obviously it feels good that you’re going to be doing something good for somebody else, you’re going to be giving these kids shoes, and you’re going to make them happy but, to tell you the truth, the kids are already happy. The real things in life, like love, and family and community, they already have it and demonstrate that in their daily lives. It was the most unselfish way of life and that’s what kind of hit me more than anything because they have almost nothing. They’re playing soccer with plastic bags and they’re such happy kids.

I wish I could have brought THAT back to America. I wish I could take that experience and just be able to share it with everyone to see what the most important thing in life really is and even though these shoes”¦these shoes are imperative, it was a huge help to their society.

I knew it was going to impact me in a great way but never in that way. I didn’t think they would be as happy as they were. I don’t know. It was just so hard to come back to LA after that, especially Hollywood. So, it was difficult for me to get my head back in the game and just even want to be here after experiencing that. It made me just want to go and live there.

MYCOSKIE:
I think, for me, the joy of the kids was something none of us could have anticipated. The greatest thing about the shoe drop, and what has really inspired me to grow the concept even more, and I knew the kids would be happy to get shoes and that the families would be very grateful to have this because it is a health issue when you don’t have shoes and you’re walking on ground that is very rough and get cuts and scrapes and your feet get infected and you don’t have medicine, I knew what we were doing was important. But what I didn’t anticipate was the joy I would experience in seeing the people we took down there, like Missy, like Tej, like my parents, like my brother and sister, like my interns from this summer, and really seeing the change in their lives both during the trip and when they got back.

stipp-06.jpgOnce I got down there I was so emotional, and it was so overwhelming to have all these people I cared about, who were dedicating their time and money to be down there to help me fulfill my dream of giving these shoes away to see how touched they were and the joy they experienced in connecting with the kids was the most amazing byproduct of the whole thing.

Now, what I’m trying to do is, instead of setting up these major shoe drops where we are giving away 10,000 pairs of shoes over a week, create an infrastructure where shoe drops can be going on, literally, six months a year where we are sending groups down, 10 or 20 people at a time, and have a full-time staff down there facilitating them so that literally hundreds, if not thousands, of people from the US could experience the joy and then come back to their respective communities and spread the joy of giving.

PEREGRYM: And I hope I can do that in MY everyday life, and not just with traveling the world and giving kids shoes, but I hope my way of thinking is different and I can apply that kind generosity in every part of my life. And, if everyone did that, I just think it would transform this country so much.

STIPP: And on that point, Missy, looking through some of your photo spreads I am reminded of layouts where you are wearing $300 shoes, opulent clothes, how do you reconcile that with having to play the Hollywood game?

PEREGRYM: I totally understand that. I already had a problem with the industry as it frustrated me, and stressed me out, that every event you go to, God forbid, you wear the wear the same thing over because, “That’s weird.”

So, I try not to play that game. I had a hard time going to photo shoots or doing any of that stuff which seemed self-glorifying. I wanted to do something that would change things for the better and I didn’t think that me, acting, was doing that. So, TOMS Shoes gave me something more than just an experience.

I feel more comfortable with the way I go about things now. It just kind of confirms that I can do that and that, in this industry, the focus is on the wrong things.

Besides, TOMS Shoes are cool anyways. And by wearing TOMS Shoes it’s not like I am sacrificing anything, at all. It’s not like I look like a dumbass walking around in TOMS Shoes.

[Laughing]

STIPP: And, to that point, Blake, how can I go about getting a pair for myself? Are you in stores, nationwide?

MYCOSKIE: Well, it’s exciting. I did not come from the fashion or shoe business; I’ve learned a lot in the seven months I’ve been in it.

stipp-07.jpgWhen you’re working on establishing a brand you, initially, put it in some very unique, select spots and keep it limited to create buzz and that’s what we did this summer. We were in some top boutiques in LA, top boutiques in New York, maybe one or two in Chicago; we kept it kind of limited on purpose to create the buzz. And, now that we have, in the Spring we are going to be in 72 out of 80 Nordstrom’s, we’ll be in every single Urban Outfitters, we’ll be in 30% of the Bloomingdale’s and then we’ll be in over 150 boutiques nationwide.

You can, though, order them online. And that’s one of the great things about the shoe, too. It’s a $38 shoe. You know your size, you know it’s going to fit. It’s not one of those “It’s gotta fit perfectly” kind of shoe. So, of the first 10,000 pairs of shoes we sold almost half of them have been online. That way we can establish a longer relationship with the person who bought the shoes.

We just did a mailer where I sent a picture of one of the kids to every single person who bought a pair of shoes and a thank-you note so we can kind of communicate that way. We really encourage people to buy them online.

STIPP: And, Missy, what else is on your plate, work wise, as I just looked at IMDB and there isn’t anything on there since your turn in STICK IT.

PEREGRYM: I know”¦

STIPP: Are you getting lazy?

[Laughs]

PEREGRYM: No! I’m just really picky with the stuff I want to do and it’s funny because I was like, “Yes, I’ve done a movie and now it’s going to be REALLY easy from here on.”

To tell you the truth, it just got more difficult because then the projects I was offered was either something so similar to STICK IT or horror movies and I can’t even read the script let alone be a part of something like that. And I didn’t even do pilot season last year because I thought, “No, I’m just going to do film.” I just wasn’t impressed with what I was seeing and now I’m just taking my time with everything and making sure the next project I do is something I can go at one hundred percent. I just really want to believe in it and be proud of it. I mean it’s documented for the rest of my life.

I’d rather wait around and do another project that I’m happy to be a part of so, I don’t know, basically I’m still doing what I do, I’m trying to create a television series. It’s called Stupid and Contagious. I’m trying to get on the other side of things as well; I’m tired of waiting for something to be created for me but I also don’t have the patience for that so we’ll see how that goes.

STIPP: Did you catch any of that entrepreneurial spirit of Blake’s and think about just creating your own thing? Strike out and make your own magic happen?


stipp-08.jpgPEREGRYM:
Well, to start something from nothing is not something I would want to do and it’s just difficult because in this industry it just takes a long time”¦you even have an idea of a project it takes years for it to actually go through. I know enough of the right people right now that hopefully this will work out with the next project but it doesn’t really matter what you try to do; it is always in the hands of other people.

You can’t really do your own thing. So, to some degree I just have to accept the fact I don’t have the control over everything and I’m becoming a little bit better at that but I also do believe that the right project is going to come up too. I know it’s just a matter of time.

I’d rather wait and not compromise my morals and values just for a paycheck. We’ll see how that works out; I’m not really eating anymore.

[Laughs]

STIPP: And Blake, last question, I know you’re trying to increase the amount of shoes you produce and that you’re committed to making sure the locations where these shoes are made do enough for their workers. Are you aware of the economies of scale and that as the numbers increase you will need to find more and more places that can adequately fulfill demand?

MYCOSKIE: Yeah, and because of all the negative press that shoe companies have gotten, due to labor practices, we, as a culture, are more aware of these things. And, as a consumer, we are much more interested in supporting brands and companies that operate in places where they respect human beings. There are a lot more options today than there were.

In a couple of weeks I am going to Asia to visit several factories that could really help us with scaling There’s even a ranking system now, from one being health benefits and amazing work standards, and paying above minimum wage, etc”¦ all the way to a class four, something I don’t even want to see; I don’t even want them to exist but it does.

So, in setting up these meetings”¦we’re only meeting with class one facilities. We’re not going to exploit one person to help another.

We’re going to make sure that wherever TOMS are made, be that Africa, Asia or Argentina or wherever, that we are only contributing to the goodwill of the people making the shoes.

STIPP: Coincidently, as a sidebar I know that prior to this interview I listened to a story on PRI’s This American Life about how Cambodia wants to be a player on the world stage with regard to fashion and the manufacturing of it but they’re having problems with doing so because not only have the Khmer Rouge been expunged from their daily lives, and not only are they are one of the rarer Asian countries who believe strongly in the idea of treating their workers better than any of their neighbors but there seems to be no help forthcoming from the United States, a country who Cambodia is trying to reach out to in the hopes someone will recognize what they’re trying to do.


MYCOSKIE:
Yes, Cambodia, different parts of West Africa. I am learning so much and I feel like God is getting me back now because I didn’t get through college.

I just can’t make shoes anymore. I need to understand the political aspects of what’s going on so that we really do make the right choices on where we do production.

Holiday Havoc Day 5: Billy West

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:10 am

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Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

Ain’t that cool?

Today we’ve got an exclusive holiday greeting & tune from the one, the only – voice actor extraordinaire – Billy West, the voice of Futurama‘s Fry, Farnsworth, Zoidberg, and Zap Brannigan, plus Ren & Stimpy, Popeye, Bugs Bunny”¦ cripes, this list could go on awhile”¦

Billy sent over a pair of exclusive tracks – “Christmas In Kenmore Square” and his acoustic take on “Jingle Bell Rock” – which we’ve combined into a single piece with a special greeting from the man himself (who you can find on the web at www.BillyWest.com)…

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Download Billy West’s “Christmas In Kenmore Square“:

 

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Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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Weekend Shopping Guide 12/8/06: No Nudity Allowed

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:12 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

While sadly lacking in bonus materials this go round, the sixth season of Roseanne (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) is certainly one of its most dense, with Becky’s return (now played by Sarah Chalke), Jackie’s pregnancy, Dan’s reignition of an old flame, the discovery of Roseanne & Dan’s stash, the lesbian kiss, a “White Trash Christmas,” and DJ’s surreptitious churchgoing.

While not entirely accurate (in fact, some of the “natural” action was staged), there’s no denying that networks like Discovery and Animal Planet owe a huge debt to the nature films produced by the Walt Disney Company under the banner True Life Adventures in the 1950’s. The series has been fully restored for the 4-volume “Legacy Collection” editions of True LifeWonders of the World, Lands of Exploration, Creatures of the Wild, and Nature’s Mysteries (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$32.99 SRP each). Each 2-disc set features an introduction from Roy Disney (who worked on the series as one of his first assignments at his uncle’s studio), as well as additional featurettes, tributes, and trailers.

Nudity. Prostitution. Adultery. Would you believe that all of this – and more – could be found in Hollywood films of the early 1930’s? Our modern view of early Tinsletown cinema as staid and buttoned-up is the result of the film industry’s adoption of a self-imposed Production Code, which was enacted out of fear that the government would soon begin dictating what was “decent” – a move that crippled American cinema for decades, forcing it to present a largely whitewashed view of how real people lived and interacted. The Forbidden Hollywood Collection: Volume One (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) collects a trio of pre-code films – all beautifully restored – that present a fascinating portrait of how daring early cinema actually was. The three films featured in this inaugural set are Baby Face, Red Headed Woman, and Waterloo Bridge, and the 2-disc set also features an intro from TCM’s Robert Osbourne and the theatrical trailer for Baby Face.

While my assertion that it’s not the holiday season without a pair of very nice Bernardo Bertolucci special editions may seem a bit of a stretch, it is a nice surprise to get feature-laden editions of Bertolucci’s The Conformist (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$14.99 SRP) and 1900 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$19.99 SRP). While The Conformist features a trio of brand-new behind-the-scenes and retrospective featurettes, it’s the 2-disc edition of 1900 – featuring the full 5 hour original cut – that really shines, with documentaries covering the story and cast, as well as the creation of the film.

For someone who regained so much of his seemingly long-lost mojo with Match Point – which paired him with new muse Scarlett Johansson – Woody Allen seems to have lost most of his gains with the rather turgid murder mystery Scoop (Universal, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP). Johannson stars as a college journalist who winds up following clues relating to a spate of murders – all of which lead her to a romantic entanglement with a dashing young gentleman (Hugh Jackman) that may pose a hazard to her health.

There’s something so 70’s-era greasy and grimy about the Me Decade remake of A Star Is Born (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$19.98 SRP), starring Barbra Streisand as the titular rock n’ roll star and Kris Kristofferson as the Grizzly Adams-esque object of her affections. This newly remastered special edition features an audio commentary from Streisand, additional scenes, wardrobe tests, and a trailer gallery.

Anyone going in to Michael Mann’s big screen take on his own 80’s icon Miami Vice (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) expecting the sun-drenched pastels and larger-than-life villainy of yore will be in for quite a shock, as he’s reimagined it as a grim, gritty, overly-realistic slice of urban drama, and Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx as Crockett & Tubbs are nowhere near their almost-playful 80’s counterparts. If you go into it with no expectations or comparisons, you’ll probably enjoy it for what it is. The unrated director’s cut features additional footage, plus an audio commentary with Mann and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

An incredibly memorable online success story, Happy Tree Friends eventually found a home on G4. You can now snag the 9 episodes that comprise the complete first season of the twisted little cartoon (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), plus audio commentaries, a behind-the-scenes featurette, storyboards, and more.

While some titles have been available separately, it’s wonderful that you can now get 7 great flicks from a great director via Preston Sturges: The Filmmaker Collection (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). Those films include The Great McGinty, Christmas In July, The Lady Eye, The Palm Beach Story, The Great Moment, Hail The Conquering Hero, and my personal favorite, Sullivan’s Travels.

You know, I dug Super Troopers. I even found a good deal of humor in Club Dread. But Broken Lizard’s latest, Beerfest (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$28.98 SRP), left me cold. The concept – about a group of Americans banding together to compete in Germany’s secret underground “Beerfest” competition (and for two of the team members to avenge their grandfather and reclaim their brewing heritage) – does have plenty of comic potential, but in execution it’s just… too much. The unrated version, in particular, is a bloated mess. Come on, guys – I know you’re capable of better (and smarter). Bonus materials include audio commentaries, delete scenes, and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

With everyone else getting their moment in the spotlight, it was only a matter of time before we got an Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton: The Film Collection set (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), sporting a quartet of the flicks the tumultuous couple made for Warners. The four fully remastered films in question are Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?, The Comedians, The V.I.P.s, and The Sandpiper. While all the flicks get vintage featurettes, the real bonus feature bonanza is on the 2-disc Woolf, which contains commentaries, brand new featurettes, interviews, screen tests, and more.

Just when the series began to flag – and Jack Bauer’s adventures in antiterrorism seemed to be sinking into cliché – along came season 5 of 24 (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), which finds a resurrected Bauer (after faking his own death at the end of season 4) trying to figure out who is systematically eliminating the tiny group of people who know he’s still alive. Is it the Russians? Is it an American? Is it even more impressive a reveal? The bottom line is the show felt fresh and energized, and actually ended on a note that had me eager for season 6. The 7-disc set features audio commentaries on select episodes, deleted/extended scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a season 6 “prequel” featurette.

Though its appeal is completely lost on me, tweeny-boppers have embraced with a fierce, frightening passion The Disney Channel’s original movie High School Musical, so much so that it’s prompted the release of a brand new “Remix” special edition (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$29.99 SRP). The 2-disc set features a new complement of bonus materials, including behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, music videos, and more.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

QSE News: 12/8/2006

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:56 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgExecutives at Nintendo are cautioning gamers about swinging their new, Wii wireless controllers as reports of extensive damage to personal property are popping up on the web.  When asked for comment, one executive stated, “We GROSSLY underestimated the over-developed wrists and forearms on these sexually repressed kids.  Seriously, they should think about stepping away from the game, getting out of the house and meeting ‘actual’ girls. Seriously.”
  • In international news, David Beckham and Victoria Beckham have created quite a stir in England over their apparent split with prancing super couple Elton John and David Furnish.  I’m sure that we here at QSE News speak for all of America when we say, “who the hell is David and Victoria Beckham?”
  • The nominations for this years Grammy’s have been announced, and leading the pack with eight nominations is R&B artist Mary J. Blige.  While most of the nominations were expected, the nomination of Clay Aiken for Best Female Performance was a complete surprise.
  • Stephen King and Peter Straub’s outstanding collaboration The Talisman is in the production pipeline for a TNT mini-series. The original book, released in 1984, is about a boy who can travel between dimensions.  Staying true to form, executives at TNT have promised to make some “minor” changes to the story – like making the main character an 18-year-old, blonde, big-breasted woman and changing the “travel between dimensions” plotline to “traveling to Oakland for cheerleader tryouts.”
  • And finally today, comedian Eddie Murphy is denying reports that he is the father of “Scary Spice” Melanie Brown’s unborn child.  Representatives for Murphy confirmed that the pair had dated in the past, but are no longer an item since Murphy found out that Brown is not a transvestite.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/8/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:49 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • George Harrison performs “The Pirate Song”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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December 7, 2006

The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 83 – All You Need Is Fred

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:19 am

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You’ve seen my Classic Cover Redos turn up frequently here at “The Fred Hembeck Show” in weeks past. Well folks, feast your eyes on THIS one…

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What? You say it doesn’t look at all familiar to you, oh dedicated Silver Age Beatlemaniac?

As well it shouldn’t, friend, since – surprise! – I made it up! Yup, did it for a fellow fan of both the Dynamic Duo and the Fab Four a while back, and thought I’d share it with you as a pictorial preface for a little talk we’re gonna have today about messing with the past.

That’s right – welcome to my review of The Beatles’ Love!

But first, let me dredge up a quick personal anecdote to better set the stage: way back in 1989, shortly after we purchased our first ever CD player, I naturally went out and snapped up a copy of the Abbey Road compact disc. The second thing I did with it (after giving it an initial spin, of course) was to go back and use this then new-fangled technology to program the heralded medley that closes the group’s final studio recording to play in REVERSE order!

Why?

Simply because I COULD.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that it didn’t sound all that good, and no, I’ve never gone back and tried that stunt again, but my purpose in relating this whim of mine to you here today is to clearly demonstrate that, when it comes to Beatles music, I’m not at all adverse to a little mucking about. And when it comes to Love, the mucking about of the Martins – Sir George and son Giles – is SO very much more rewarding than my own ham-fisted amateur attempts that it’s well worth repeated listens!

You all know the back story, right? Cobbled together from the Fabs’ tape vault to serve as soundtrack for a gala Cirque du Soleil show (housed at The Mirage in Las Vegas) by the group’s original producer (and his offspring), Love combines, mashes, and melds into a non-stop medley some of the greatest performances ever captured for posterity – all with gloriously upgraded sound! Short of hopping a plane and heading for Vegas – and believe me, considering that the showroom itself boasts some 3000 state of the art stereo speakers, that notion HAS crossed my mind! – Beatles fans need to add Love to their already burgeoning library.

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(As one review suggested, even if you view Love merely as a trailer for the promised forthcoming sonically upgraded Beatles catalog, it’ll turn those frowns (“Oh man, am I gonna have to buy all those CDs AGAIN?”) instantly into smiles (“Oboy, I can’t WAIT for the “bang bang” in “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” to sound so real that it’s as if he were hitting ME on the head!”)!)

Yes, for the sound alone, I heartily recommend buying this latest repackaging – and while you’re at it, get the special edition with the additional audio DVD disc! It’ll cost you maybe an extra five bucks, but if, like me, you have a DVD player hooked up to your stereo speakers, it’ll be well worth it. No, we don’t have surround sound here in Casa Hembeck, but luckily the included DVD has several other sound options, and as good as Love sounded coming through the CD player, it sounds even better via the DVD machine. A word to the wise.

Okay, so we’ve established that the Beatles have never sounded better – what about this whole mash-up business, tracks overlaying tracks and other such wackiness? Well, let me tell you this – I guarantee you, you’ll never forget your first time! That initial listen will delight and awe you with inspired surprises and breathtaking transitions, ones that let you experience these long familiar tunes in an altogether fresh manner! I firmly believe that most of the enthusiastic reviews that I’ve read – and there have been plenty – must have been written shortly after each author’s first glorious listen.

Me, I’m up to about my tenth time through now, and a funny thing happens about the fourth time around – you begin to realize that, in some ways, it’s all just a gussied up parlor trick, signifying little. And so you suddenly become a tad bit disappointed. But you’re a fan, so you keep playing it, mainly because – did I mention it? – the aural quality is just so doggone outstanding! And eventually, you find yourself coming back around, landing in a sort of comfortable mid-range. No, Love isn’t the greatest thing since jelly babies, but neither is it unworthy of occupying a notable – and decidedly unique – place in the Beatles recording pantheon. Some people, y’see, will NEVER get tired of these silly love songs – and what’s wrong with that, I’d like to know?…

Some specific observations then about the Martin’s aural antics – chalk me with siding with Paul (“The Cute One Who Doesn’t Get Nearly Enough Respect”) McCartney who, although satisfied with the final product, observed that he would’ve liked to have seen them go even further with the whole mash-up concept. Cuz understand, there are an awful lot of full (or near-full) length songs here, but for me the true highlights are the little stitched together oddities, such as the eerie combination of John singing “Tomorrow Never Knows” over the percussion from George’s equally trippy “Within You Without You” track. I was also quite taken by the melange that starts out as “Drive My Car”, segues effortlessly into “What You’re Doing”, zaps in a quick couplet from “The Word”, then merrily goes back to “Drive My Car”, making for a seamless meld of three generally overlooked middle-era Beatles’ classics. Beep beep YEAH!

I liked too how Ringo begins crooning “Octopus’s Garden” over the majestic orchestration of his White Album closer, “Good Night”, before the lads chime in with their original Abbey Road backing – and if my ears don’t deceive me, there’s even a few stray sound-effects from “Yellow Submarine” tossed in for good measure. It’s Ringomania, distilled into a tidy three minute segment!

Paul’s guitar picking on “Blackbird” eases nicely into a full performance of “Yesterday”, and the driving coda to “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” makes the whirlwind finale of “Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite” all the more dizzying! And then there are the little quick riffs – the opening guitar flourish of “A Hard Day’s Night” leading instead into “Get Back”, and the fadeouts of various longer cuts sonically decorated with signature snatches of numbers like “Penny Lane”, “In My Life”, and “Nowhere Man”. Picking out all the pieces of this puzzle is half the fun for ardent Beatles addicts, and I only wish there had been more goodies to discover. I’d gladly have sacrificed hearing a near complete take of “Come Together” for the chance to wallow in an even more diverse pot of Beatles’ stew! Ah well…

The other gripes I have with this project fall squarely under the category of song selection, which, in my opinion, leans a bit too heavily on the Beatles psychedelic period, and features a disproportionate number of lead vocals from (you should pardon the expression ) The Dead Beatles.

Look, while I may often effusively champion Macca’s not-insignificant contribution to the ensemble, I love Lennon, too – honest! And there’s no way you’re gonna expect the Martins to pass over such iconic tracks as “A Day In The Life”, “Strawberry Fields Forever” (commencing with a portion of a charming never before released demo that metamorphasizes into the groundbreaking single version) and “I Am The Walrus” (which cleverly segues into a truncated, audience enhanced “I Want To Hold Your Hand”, brilliantly illustrating the breadth of the group’s evolution in a mere four years, reversing gears from perhaps their most avant garde musical number right on back to the tune that paved the way for the four lovable Mop Tops to conquer America in 1964!), but both “Come Together” AND “Revolution”? “Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds” AND “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite”? Okay, I understand the latter track was included at the specific request of the Cirque du Soliel people – and it is the only number listed here that hasn’t suffered from massive radio overplay, but still, c’mon! John also solos on “Help” and “All You Need Is Love” – how little more than a brief snippet of the organ interlude from “In My Life” made the final cut I’ll never know…

(Not that I have any problem with “Help”. Fact is, I longed for more of those wonderful ’65, ’66 vibes, the likes of which produced my two favorite Beatles’ LPs, Rubber Soul and Revolver. But outside of “Eleanor Rigby” and the aforementioned mashups of “Tomorrow Never Knows” and “Drive My Car”, there’s little beyond a stray line here and there to be found of those two tremendous LPs. And while I know all too well that it was absolutely inevitable that this presentation – on stage and on disc – would end with “All You Need Is Love”, I have a small confession to make: I’ve never really thought all that much of that ditty. I mean, sure, it makes for a nice slogan, but so does “Give Peace A Chance”, and that’s no tune for the ages, either. I just find the repetitive, sing-songy chorus a tad boring after awhile, and I’m seriously thinking maybe the boys might’ve as well, as they did their very best to pretty it up with some tasteful – if dull – orchestration, all the while cutting up with their Goon Show-inspired antics over the tune’s extended fadeout as some sort of wacky counterpoint. Herein, the fade is (naturally) reconfigured, featuring not “In The Mood”, but, among other samples, a smidgen of “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”, ending with a few lines of Lennon dialog culled from one of the group’s Fan Club only Christmas recordings (all kudos to the Martins for resisting any urges they may’ve had to end the proceeding with that tired old “And I hope we passed the audition” bit – John’s rarely heard goofy ad lib makes for a refreshing, and even poignant, end to this really big show. I’m just sorry I’m gonna have to make my way all the way through “All You Need Is Love” each time to hear it…).

(Paul said much the same thing in the final seconds of “The End”, y’know – and so much more succinctly – but THAT doesn’t close Love, now does it? Okay, “All You Need Is Love” isn’t exactly a BAD song – it IS a Beatles’ tune after all – but there are just so many more of the group’s numbers, including plenty of album cuts, that I prefer. So sue me…)

And what about George? Look, I loved that guy too, make no mistake about it, but y’know, I once put together a compilation CD of ALL the songs he wrote and recorded while a member of the Beatles (including some belatedly issued Anthology tracks), and guess what? The total time came in just under 80 minutes! And yet, Love offers us a complete “Something”, a full length previously unreleased demo version of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” (featuring an admittedly lovely orchestration scored specifically for this project by Martin the elder, the only “new” music included), substantial portions of “Here Comes The Sun” and “Within You Without You”, and notable transitional excerpts from “Blue Jay Way” and “The Inner Light”! “The Inner Light”, fer Krishna’s sake! And I clearly heard pieces of “Piggies” and “Savoy Truffle” in the mix as well – how “Don’t Bother Me” missed making the final cut, hey, I’ll never know…

Poor Ringo. All he gets is the aforementioned tarted up “Octopus’s Garden” to warble in that lovable ol’ croak of his. You’d think maybe his two most famous numbers – “A Little Help From My Friends” and “Yellow Submarine” – would figure into things, but no. At least his ace drumming is readily apparent throughout, but I wouldn’t have minded maybe a little more Starr singing (my picks, aside from the obvious pair that were nonetheless overlooked, would’ve been “What Goes On” and/or “Don’t Pass Me By”) With verses about being in a car crash and losing your hair, well gee whiz – how could the Martins have possibly overlooked THAT? But they did…

Despite a comparative paucity of Paul, what McCartney there is, is choice. “Lady Madonna”, mixed up with “Hey Bulldog”, comes off especially nicely, as does the program’s opening rocker (following the beautifully tranquil a cappella “Because”) “Get Back” (the only selection chosen from the ill-fated, largely Martin-less Let It Be album). The cold opening of “Hey Jude” sounds terrific following directly on the heels of the elongated final chord of “A Day In The Life”, and the Martin clan takes the opportunity to shave not only some instrumentation off the track (letting the “na na na” vocals stand on their own briefly for a round), but several minutes running time as well. Look, I love “Hey Jude” – for a long time, I’d readily identify it as my all-time favorite Beatles number, though these days I’m not quite so certain – but have you ever looked at your watch while that thing was running? The fade out begins a full two minutes before the cut ostensibly ends! I’d heard that the boys issued such a lengthy tune as a 45rpm single in an effort to one up Richard Harris, who, only months earlier, had hit the top of the charts with his over seven minute long ode to weather-challenged baking, “MacArthur Park”. The Beatles, the story goes, wanted THEIR number one record to exceed his, time wise – and it did, if only by scant seconds! Well, nice idea guys, but maybe not the best of executions – “MacArthur Park” ends with a giant choral swell of “oh no”, a monumental finale that wouldn’t ever allow radio disc jockeys the luxury of trimming the tune’s running time when it was broadcast. Whereas, even from the start, “Hey Jude” rarely made it all the way to the its not-so-much-bitter-but-somewhat-excessive end when piped out over the airwaves. “Oh no”, indeed…

(And a few short years later, Don McLean’s trumped ’em both with eight minutes plus of “American Pie”. At least the lads can take some satisfaction (Mick, too) in being a key part of Don’s song story – there was nothing, I fear, to be heard concerning Mr. Harris’s ill-fated icing in McLean’s metaphorical melody…)

What songs would I have chosen to jam in? Well, how the insistent bass line from “Day Tripper” escaped inclusion is a mystery. “Eight Day A Week” has a swell opening, and “She Loves You” might’ve added even more to the historical context. Beyond that, favorites like “I’ve Just Seen a Face”, “Two Of Us”, “Good Day Sunshine”, “Girl”, “All My Loving”, “Every Little Thing”, “You Never Give Me Your Money”, “No Reply”, “The Night Before”, “Wait”, “I’m A Loser”, and “I’ve Got a Feeling” might’ve been nice. Actually, anything short of “Wild Honey Pie” would’ve worked for me. Love 2, anyone?…

So there you have it – my rave review of Love, wherein I nonetheless spend most of my time grousing! Ah well, such is the mindset of a dyed in the wool Beatlenik – as good as things may be, you can always somehow imagine them to be better! But until better comes along, Love will do.

One final observation: my 16 year old daughter Julie popped the CD into her computer, hitched up to some less than extraordinary speakers, and after only fifteen minutes play, she practically came running out of her room, a wide smile on her face, exclaiming, “Omighod, that’s the BEST thing I’ve EVER heard!” – and this was coming from someone who had only recently developed at best a middling appreciation of the band! Friends, if Love can serve as gateway for a new generation of listeners, then maybe there IS a purpose to this project beyond putting food on the tables of gaudily festooned acrobats! Maybe the boys WERE right – maybe all you DO need is Love!

(Well, not entirely – we DO still need that promised whole newly refurbished catalog! C’mon Apple! I want my sonically shined up Beatles For Sale – and the sooner, the better!…)

Hembeck.com – it’s all too much! True, some of the writings are long, long, long, but it’s getting better all the time! If you don’t go there, you won’t see me – until you come back here next week! If you will, I will. Now, I’m so tired. Good night!

-Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

Music For The Masses: December 7th, 2006

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:57 am
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Welcome, friends, to another edition of Music for the Masses! How the hell you doing? Me? Why I’m happier than Rosie O’Donnell shopping for flannel shirts right now because I ABSOLUTELY love this time of year. That’s right, now that Thanksgiving has been kicked to the curb like O.J.’s book and T.V. deals, it’s time for me to turn my Attention Deficit Disorder to Christmas, that magical time of year where Christians exchange gifts to celebrate the birth of Santa Clause… or something like that. You know? I probably should have paid more attention in church but seriously, do you have any idea how hard it was to stay awake through that after chugging half a bottle of communion wine? It was all “Blah blah blah”… but I digress. In fact, friends, this year is better than most, because unlike Christmas’s past, I can actually sit back, relax and enjoy the season because my gift-shopping is complete. I shit you not. And do you know who I have to thank for this little miracle? Britney Spears.

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In the uncensored pic, it looks like she’s holding a Cornish Rex Cat in her lap.

You see, usually, I’m beating my… umm, head against the wall in a vain attempt to jar loose “present ideas” for all of the “hard-to-shop-for” people in my family. But after seeing that picture of Britney messing up the seat of Paris’ car, I had perfect gift ideas for everyone.

For instance, I took one look at that picture and realized my father, much like Brittany, prefers a “clean, close shave.” So… BAM!!!… dad’s gift is the new Norelco shaver.

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Another glance at the picture, between knuckle shuffles, and I think to myself “hmmm…  Aunt Selma could use some new, red drapes…

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After a half an hour of staring at the picture, it dawns on me that my grandma needs something to cover her vulv… I mean, Volvo… to protect it from the elements…

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Winters in Dubuque can be REALLY harsh. And just as I’m finishing, I think “Oh yeah, Uncle Nancy needs some new mud flaps for “˜his’ truck…”

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See what I mean? And you thought I was joking. So say what you want about my little trailer park princess, but the only thing I can say is “Thank you, Brittany!” The world is truly a better place with you in it. Of course, your kid, the one you dropped, probably disagrees, but what the hell does he know? He’s retarded now. The only thing he knows is not to let you pick him up because “mommy gave him a metal plate in his head” and that every time you hit “START” on the microwave, he shits himself and runs into the wall.

But enough about all of that, folks. It’s time now to check out some new music! This week, we check in with a Beatles re-mix and Double A digs deep to check the latest offering from Prince Po. Plus, my 10-year-old nephew Jacob checks in with a review of the new one from +44. Should be fun. So, what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we??!!

m4m-love-dec6 Artist: The Beatles
Album: LOVE
Bastard Love Child of: George Martin and LSD
Best for: Realizing that these 40ish-year-old songs sound better than 98% of the shit being released today.
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As I’ve explained to you folks, previously, I love the Beatles… have ever since I was a wee-lad. In fact, while all my friends where out “getting fresh air” and playing the “sports,” I was holed up in my room listening to my dad’s original Beatles albums. Yes, I was a lonely child. Now, what I don’t love is Cirque De Soliel. Not because of the beautiful choreography, mind-boggling stunts and haunting music, but more so because I’m not a big fan of watching ambiguously gay French guys bench pressing each other. Call me “silly pants,” but that’s just the way I roll. I also eat hot dogs with a knife and fork, but I digress… again. So, when I heard that Cirque De Soliel’s new production was going to incorporate the music of the Beatles, I thought, “Wow… wonder what “stunt” they’ll perform for “˜Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?'” and then I didn’t give it another thought.

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That is, until this weekend, when I picked it up at the recommendation of a friend (Thanks, Ken!!) and after listening to the Audio DVD in 5.1 sound, mixed and mastered from the original, 4-track recordings, I gotta say… “HOLY SHIT!! This is an amazing disc!” First and foremost, it sounds fucking incredible. As I noted, that 5.1 mix will blow your mind and I will state, right now for the record (no pun intended), the Beatles have never sounded better on disc. George Martin’s formidable production abilities have never been more vividly on display and his work here with son, Giles, is mesmerizing. In keeping with the spirit of the Beatles, tracks have been reversed, sped up and slowed down, but all of it is original. I take that back… there is ONE “new” track… a string arrangement that George Martin composed to accompany an acoustic version of “While My Guitar Gentle Weeps.” Absolutely brilliant.

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Now, fans of the early work will argue that the song selection here is skewed in favor of the band’s more psychedelic material and that song’s like “Octopus’s Garden” and “Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!” shouldn’t be focal points of the disc, but like Lance Bass playing butt darts with his boyfriend, you’re just “splitting hairs.” Sure, the tracks that get the most attention (read: that you hear the most of) are from later discs, but with all that is going on here in between and within the songs themselves LOVE actually does a hell of a job sampling the band’s entire career. If you are evenly REMOTELY a fan of this band, this is an absolute must-have and rest assured, you’ve never heard the Beatles quite like this. And oddly enough, after listening to this disc, I now have a new-found admiration for the work of Cirque de Soliel. So, if you’ll excuse me… I have to go put on a cod-piece and do some push-ups.

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Rating: 5 out of 5

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As I was walking through my local record store, looking for something to review this week, I was perplexed. There was absolutely nothing that I wanted to even listen to. I picked up the Best of Cee-Lo album, but put it down. I don’t mind Cee-Lo, but this album didn’t interest me. I saw The Game sitting on the shelf, and I had opted out of it last week, but it just doesn’t seem to be my speed. Eminem? Hell no. Not even if it were to save my grandmother from being beaten about the face and head by angry men wielding monkey wrenches. Wow, that was a little harsh, wasn’t it? But seriously, fuck Eminem. I’ve heard good things about the Bidman/Lil Wayne album, but again, it just didn’t interest me. But then, as I reached to put back the Birdman disc, I noticed something. It was Prince Po’s Prettyblack. Now to be fair, this album came out a little bit ago, but with the dredge of shit that has come out lately, anything would be better than the options that I was presented with. So I got it, and I’m pretty glad that I did.

Prettyblack is by no means the best rap album to come out this year, but it is light years beyond anything that has come out in recent weeks. The only thing that I’ve ever heard from Prince Po is the song “Copy Cats,” from quite possibly the best rap album ever, Danger Mouse and Jemini’s Ghetto Pop Life. Listening to Prettyblack, the vocal styling’s that made “Copy Cats” a great song on a great disc are all there. Unfortunately, the beats suffer a little. On almost every track, the beats are flat with little variation through the course of the song. I’m not saying that the beats are bad, they’re not, just a little stagnant. The rhymes do more than their part to bring the production up a notch.

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One thing that separates this album from a lot of other rappers work is this disc doesn’t feel the need to bring in big, flashy stars to flesh out a weak song. There are a few guest stars on this album, but not a single one that I’ve heard of. But even on the tracks with a guest, Po is front and center, doing his thing on his disc. The best song on the album is “Creep On It” with a nice little bump-iness that’ll get you moving, and Po’s clever lyrics flow with the beat like they are peanut butter and jelly. Or, for those of you who are morbidly obese and aren’t constantly thinking about food, the beat and raps go together like handcuffs and faux fur. Does that simile make sense? Maybe?

Like I said, this isn’t the best rap disc out there, but it is a hella good one. Before you go out and spend your hard earned money on some of the other crap that is clogging the shelves these days, pick this one up. Now, I’m going to go get me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I’ve got to keep up my girlish figure.

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Rating: 4 out of 5

REVIEWS BY. . .

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Jacob Montana Bell
Des Moines
, IA

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My CD review is about a CD by the band that used to be Blink 182 but isn’t anymore because two guys from blink 182 made a new CD that I like a lot but not as much as “Ben 10″ on Cartoon Network. I like the songs on this CD and they are really good songs and they make me feel like jumping up and down and sometimes they make me want to hit my sister but my dad yells at me when I do that and I don’t like to get into trouble.

My dad says Blink 182 used to be good but then they got wussie and should be on that show “Will and Grace” but I don’t know any Blink 182 and I think that +44 is good no matter what my dad says. He says to go get him a beer and that everyone can think what they want and that is what makes America good and I think Macaroni and Cheese makes America good but my dad says that doesn’t make sense which makes my heart sad.

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The best song on the album is the one with the guitars and the drums and goes “when your heart stops beating” or something like that because sometimes it’s hard to hear. My mom told me not to listen to the music too loud because I might mess up my ears but when she leaves dad lets me turn it up as loud as it will go and sit right in front of the speakers. He says that is called rocking out and he tells his friends sometimes that he likes to rock out with his cock out and he doesn’t think that I hear that but I do and one time when I said it my mom made me eat some soap. There are some slow songs on this CD that are really good but not as much fun to rock out to but I don’t care because the singer does good singing and my second favorite song on the CD is “Baby Come on” and I also like “Make You Smile” and “Little Death.” The song “115” and “Lillian” are not very good but “Weatherman” and “Chapter 13″ are good and I don’t remember the names of the other songs but I like them and they are good sometimes.

This CD is good and I would tell all my friends in Mrs. Johnson’s third grade class to make their parents get it for them.

UPCOMING RELEASES:

As a public service to you fine folks out there, I’ll be posting the upcoming CD releases going forward. Be careful though, friends, there are a lot of turds in the toilet, if you know what I mean. . .

Dec. 12 AGRESSOR DEATHREAT
Dec. 12 ALBERTI, ALEJANDRA ALEJANDRA ALBERTI
Dec. 12 ANTAEUS BLOOD LIBEL
Dec. 12 AUFGEHOBEN MESSIDOR
Dec. 12 BENNETT, TONY AN AMERICAN CLASSIC
Dec. 12 BIG TUCK THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH
Dec. 12 BUDDHA-BAR BUDDHA-BAR TEN YEARS
Dec. 12 BUSHWICK BILL LITTLE BIG MAN
Dec. 12 CAURAL MIRRORS FOR EYES (2XLP)
Dec. 12 CONTRIVA SEPERATE CHAMBERS
Dec. 12 CURRENT 93/OM INERRANT RAYS OF INFALLIBLE SU
Dec. 12 DAHL, IAN VAN JUST A GIRL
Dec. 12 DIAMOND, NEIL 12 SONGS
Dec. 12 DREY, JENNA BY THE WAY
Dec. 12 EMINEM EMINEM PRESENTS: THE RE-UP
Dec. 12 ENTRANCE PRAYER OF DEATH
Dec. 12 FANTASIA FANTASIA
Dec. 12 GHOSTFACE KILLAH MORE FISH
Dec. 12 GIDDY MOTORS DO EASY
Dec. 12 GORELORD NORWEGIAN CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH ANTICHRIST
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH INCIPIT SATAN
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH PENTAGRAM
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH TWILIGHT OF THE IDOLS
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH UNDER THE SIGN OF HELL
Dec. 12 GORGOROTH DESTROYER
Dec. 12 HICKS, TAYLOR TAYLOR HICKS
Dec. 12 JAY-Z KINGDOM COME
Dec. 12 JIMMY LEVINE SHARE MY LOVE
Dec. 12 KARMA LATENIGHT DAYDREAMING
Dec. 12 KNIGHT, FERN MUSIC FOR WITCHES AND ALCHEMISTS
Dec. 12 K-THE-I??? BROKEN LOVE LETTER
Dec. 12 LOVELY FEATHERS MY BEST FRIEND DANIEL
Dec. 12 MARY J. BLIGE REFLECTIONS – A RETROSPECTIVE
Dec. 12 MIRRORS 13 PATIENT FLOWERS
Dec. 12 MONGIL, MANOLO VIVO
Dec. 12 NECROPHAGIA SLIT WRISTS AND CASKET ROT
Dec. 12 NECROPHAGIA SEASON OF THE DEAD
Dec. 12 NOVY, TOM IBIZA SESSIONS VOL.2 (2XCD)
Dec. 12 ORIGINAL HAMSTER TRENDSETTER AND THE FOLLOWERS
Dec. 12 OST REST STOP DEAD AHEAD
Dec. 12 REINA ON MY OWN
Dec. 12 SONIC YOUTH The Destroyed Room: B Sides and Singles
Dec. 12 TAHA, RACHID DIWAN 2
Dec. 12 TYRESE ALTER EGO
Dec. 12 YOUNG JEEZY THE INSPIRATION
Dec. 12 VA MARY ANNE HOBBS WARRIOR DUBZ
Dec. 12 VA CHARLOTTE’S WEB
Dec. 12 VA BRAZILIAN BEATS BROOKLYN (2XLP)
Dec. 12 VARIOUS BEST OF DA BAY
Dec. 12 VARIOUS ERAGON: MUSIC FROM THE MOTION PICTURE
Dec. 12 VARIOUS THE COVENANT
Dec. 19 AGUILERA, CHRISTINA HURT
Dec. 19 ALARM CLOCKS THE TIME HAS COME
Dec. 19 BLACK JAK PLACE YOUR BETS
Dec. 19 BOW WOW THE PRICE OF FAME
Dec. 19 BROOKLYN LOBSTER BROOKLYN LOBSTER
Dec. 19 DJ Clue THE PROFFESSIONAL III
Dec. 19 DO OR DIE HEADZ OR TAILZ
Dec. 19 GOJOGO ALL IS FAIR
Dec. 19 GRAND HUSTLE PRESENTS IN DA STREETZ, VOL. 4
Dec. 19 HARRY PERRY BAND VIDEO COMMANDER
Dec. 19 JERRY LEE LEWIS ROCKIN’ WITH THE KILLER
Dec. 19 NAS HIP HOP IS DEAD
Dec. 19 PACK , THE SKATEBOARDS 2 SCRAPERS (CD ENHANCED)
Dec. 19 RBD REBELS
Dec. 19 SLAYER CHRIST ILLUSION
Dec. 19 STYLES P TIME IS MONEY
Dec. 19 SUGARCUBES THE COMPLETE STUDIO ALBUMS
Dec. 19 TRICK DADDY BACK BY THUG DEMAND
Dec. 19 Soundtrack Blood Diamond (James Newton Howard)
Dec. 19 Soundtrack Night At The Museum (Alan Silvestri)
Dec. 19 Soundtrack We Are Marshall (Christophe Beck)
Dec. 19 Various Artists Juke Joint Soul!
Dec. 19 Various Artists The Flow Volume 2
Dec. 19 Various Artists Variety
Dec. 19 Various Artists Variety Volume 2
Dec. 19 Various Artists Massive Dub (2 CD)
Dec. 19 Various Artists The Ultimate 50’s Collection
Dec. 19 Various Artists Chicano Riders At The Park [Enhanced CD]

Well, folks, that’s going to do it for me and the gang this week, so… until next time… keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send your homo-erotic work out regimen, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:


M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

QSE News: 12/7/2006

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:48 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgOnly days after liquor stocks crashed at the news of Lindsay Lohan’s planned “sobriety,” the hard-partying actress went into a boozed-up tirade at an exclusive dinner for GQ magazine.  “Thank the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] lord,” said an un-named Smirnoff executive, “I thought we were going to have to lay some people off.”
  • Following in the footsteps of fellow “comedian” Michael Richards, Andy Dick is the latest “celebrity” to slip and utter a racial slur in front of an audience.  Dick jumped onstage at a Los Angeles Improv and joked about the Richards incident, saying to the crowd “you’re all a bunch of N****.” This incident marks the pinnacle of Dick’s quest to prove to the world that he is the least funny person in America.
  • Don Cheadle is set to star in and direct a film centering around the life of famous trumpeter Miles Davis.  To prepare for the role, Cheadle has been shadowing other famous “horn blowers” Wynton Marsalis and Clay Aiken.
  • Robert Smith of The Cure has writer’s block, preventing him and the rest of his band from completing their next album. Smith told reporters that he is having a hard time trying to come up with new ways to depress himself.
  • It appears that Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn have, apparently, “broken up” for good.  When asked for comment, Anniston’s publicist said, “Yeah, well, Jen wanted to be free to pursue another publicity-fueling, faux-relationship with a hot, Hollywood actor to bolster the expected weak ticket sales for her next movie, Friends-less, which hits theaters next spring.”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/7/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:43 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Okay, so, when a flying snowman wants some of your soda, you share… (Thingamabob)
  • Whatever you do, stay away from Pine Oaks… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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December 6, 2006

Holiday Havoc Day 4: Rick Moranis

Filed under: Articles,Holiday Havoc,Quickcasts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:21 am

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Some people hang the holly, others decorate the tree, and a few even terrorize the neighborhood with off-key caroling.

Not us.

Here at Quick Stop Entertainment, we’re celebrating the holiday season by giving a little something back to you, our readers (you know who you are).

Every weekday leading up to the holiday break, we’ve got uber-exclusive gifts provided by a whole range of artists, actors, comedians, and studios. One a day, straight from them to you.

Ain’t that cool?

Today, we’ve got a special gift from actor/writer/comedian Rick Moranis. Unless you’ve been living in a cave, you’ll know Rick from SCTV (where he co-created the legendary MacKenzie Brothers with Dave Thomas), Ghostbusters, Honey I Shrunk The Kids, and many more flicks through the years (including a guilty fave of mine, My Blue Heaven).

Rick has provided us with an exclusive track from his album (yes, album!) The Agoraphobic Cowboy.

Before you go thinking it’s some comedy album ““ it’s not. Yes, many of the songs are funny and the wordplay definitely comes from a brilliant comic mind, but it’s more in the vein of Randy Newman or Harry Nilsson ““ and trust me, that’s strong praise. With a country flair and a solid backing band, Moranis has recorded an album that never becomes kitsch or a novelty, but stands on its own two feet as a legitimately enjoyable listen. For more information, check out his official website at www.RickMoranis.com.

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Download Rick Moranis’ “Give Me The News“:

 

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Check out the rest of this year’s “Holiday Havoc” HERE

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Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review and giveaway, Miami Vice

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:46 am
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Regular readers of this diary may recall that the last time I reviewed Miami Vice I saw it on the big screen, in the theater, just me and 400 passholes, of which one, a violent cockeyed retard, created a scene.

Yet I still managed to like the movie.

It wasn’t because I was a fan of the show. The movie proves to have little to do with the source show. Instead it is a fantasia on themes originally enunciated in Miami Vice.

Nor was it just because I am a huge Michael Mann buff, though the film is all of a piece with what he has been doing in films as diverse as Heat, Collateral, and even Ali and The Insider, with a similar catalog of moral questions and stylistic choices.

No, it was the sheer physical near-silent beauty of the thing, with its actors like sleek panthers, all movement and style. I love the opening shots of the film, which showed Crockett and Tubbs (Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx) standing off to the edge in a disco watching the crowd. Now, thanks to the DVD which hits the street on Tuesday, December 5, 2006 for $29.95 (available in either a widescreen edition of the release version and in a unrated director’s cut), I have the movie again to enjoy, ponder over, and revel in.

Have you ever seen a wolf in the wild? I did once, while driving along the coast road in my home state with a friend. It had just come up over the edge and was looking sharply at the traffic, seeing if there was a way across the two lanes. I only saw the animal for a second as our car sped by, but I still haven’t forgotten how alert it was. It’s whole affect was there, here, alive, looking, sensing, seemingly every hair buzzed with the reality of what was going on around him, above, behind, in front. It was the sharpest thing I saw on the road.

Like foxes

That’s what Crockett and Tubbs reminded me of at the start of Miami Vice. Now, most viewers complained that because the movie starts in media res like this, they didn’t know what was going on, and remained lost for the rest of the movie. And if you take a glance at the screenplay (not included on the DVD) you can see how much of the dialogue Mann threw out (was that one of the reasons Foxx was reportedly unhappy on the set? Or was he worrying about his performance in Dreamgirls, in which he is reportedly uncomfortable looking?). Mann has a way of shooting people in the middle of action that looks really realistic, and he is fond of a shot that contributes to that feeling, which is one that Tarantino uses at least once per movie too, a close tracking shot behind someone walking somewhere, but in which you can also see the whole field of battle he is walking onto. The film is shot by Dion Beebe, who also worked on Collateral, and it has some stupendous shots in it, which look great on the Universal DVD.

Dion

As I said, it is less an episode of Miami Vice, than Mann’s “Answer to Heat.” As I wrote about the original release, “This is the second time that Mann has gone to the well of TV work to fashion a movie. Heat is a masterly re-filming of his TV movie, the 1989 Crimewave (AKA L.A. Takedown). In essence, what Mann has done here is re-write the end of Heat. In that film, crook De Niro and cop Pacino have a face off on a busy airport runway in a sequence that left a lot of people unsatisfied. Here, in a similar situation, a character makes a wholly different decision, and it is indeed much more satisfying. Thus, both because of their roots and because of their contrasting resolutions, Heat and Miami Vice are paired films in Mann’s filmography. Mann tries to balance to entirely different moods, absolute quotidian realism on the one hand, and romanticism on the other. This time he may have got the ending right.”

There are about six new minutes in the unrated version, bringing the film up to 140 Minutes, most of which appear to be in the very beginning, in a sequent which also explains why the task force is in the disco. As far as I can tell, though, the film still doesn’t explain who the criminal mole is in the complex of agencies trying to catch the film’s big drug dealer. The answer may be in there; I just haven’t found it yet.

Mann

The widescreen anamorphic transfer (2.40:1) is excellent, and the audio comes in English, Spanish, French Dolby Digital 5.1. Supplements consist of a host of making ofs, including “Miami Vice Undercover,” “Miami & Beyond: Shooting on Location,” “Visualizing Miami Vice,” some so-called behind the scenes featurettes (“Gun Training,” “Haitian Hotel Camera BLocking,” and “Mojo Race”, with the biggest supplement being a commentary track from Mann. Mann’s been doing these a lot lately, and he comes prepared, remembers a lot, and likes to tell stories. As far as I can tell, though, he doesn’t go into any detail about Foxx’s supposed dissatisfaction on the set.

If you’ve got this far, let it be known that if you are the first person to email me at dkholmcontests@mac.com, you get a free DVD of the uncut Miami Vice, care of Universal Home Video [10:18 PM PST: We have a winner]. Obviously I can’t reply to everyone, so if you don’t hear from me within a few hours, odds are that you’re not the first.

QSE News: 12/6/2006

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:44 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgJust a few months after coming out to the world, ‘N Sync singer Lance Bass and his boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl have broken up. Sources close to the couple report that the reason behind the split is that Lehmkuhl was simply “sick of taking it up the Bass.”
  • The rock group Staind is taking a break from each other with no plans on reconvening. Staind lead singer Aaron Lewis said that the group will use the hiatus to learn a different style of music since no one buys (or likes) nu-metal anymore.
  • NBC has picked up a full season of the show 30 Rock, despite the fact that it has only seen a luke-warm response from viewers. To help bump up the ratings, the characters played by Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan will have an illicit affair while Alec Baldwin’s character hunts them down in a 24 hour time frame.
  • Following the recent adventures of other celebrities and alcohol, actor Rip Torn was arrested outside of New York City for DUI.  Torn is best known for his roles in such films as Men In Black and Dodgeball, and for constantly being confused with effeminate, confetti throwing comedian Rip Taylor.
  • In some sad Hollywood news, Max, the beloved pet pig of George Clooney, has passed away at the ripe old age of 19.  Sources close to Clooney reported that the actor is “devastated” and was in tears as he dug the roasting pit for his Hawaiian Luau-themed memorial this weekend.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 12/6/2006

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:23 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • The Sound of Young America‘s Jesse Thorn has a new podcast. It is very funny, but currently untitled. I suggest he call it “The Life & Times of Horace Weisenblatt.” I also suggest you go listen to the funny. (Thingamabob)
  • An aircraft carrier landing, from the pilot’s viewpoint (Thingamabob)
  • After you see it, you’ll want to try the pepper water trick for yourself… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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December 5, 2006

Party Favors: Where The Sun Don’t Dance

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:28 am
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SALT LAKE CITY – Screw Sundance!!!!

After being told that Moving Midway was a sure pick for the upcoming festival, we got Michiganed! The rejection notice arrived on Monday. And the tears flowed from my eyes. It was sad that Godfrey Cheshire wouldn’t be able to complete his transformation from film reviewer to filmmaker by holding up the Grand Prize from Robert Redford.  This was his movie. He fought his hardest to keep this pure to his vision no matter what others told him. And now he has been told by Sundance – we don’t need to show that in our festival.

What is getting shown instead of the Cheshire family home moving movie? A documentary about a guy who died when he let a horse cornhole him. Yep. We lost out to a Kentucky Derby tribute to Oz.

This was going to be my year. I already had 2007 circled as the year I become the new Kevin Federline. I had already bought a pair of snow boots. But now it’s all off. Redford won’t return my calls. No elk hunting. No skiing. No back massages from Thora Birch. No calling him, Bob. I was going to be an indie superstar and now all January holds for me watching a guy get an award for the evils of horse sex. Who did this to me? There’s only one person I can blame: Godfrey Cheshire.

It was his movie. He told us that all the time. What happened to this man’s genius? Here’s a guy who has reviewed thousands of movies. How if given a chance to finally tell his cinematic story did he crap out to a horse screwing a man to death? Maybe he could enter it in a festival that has a “no animals banging humans” policy.

I look like the idiot praising Godfrey and his film. I’m sorry, global readers. I promise that next time I produce a film, it’s with someone who can deliver the goods. If I knew what the competition was like, I would have done a reshoot by rubbing Crisco on my butt and hooking up with the horse that played Sea Biscuit. Sure it would have looked out of place, but you’d remember it. Cause I’m driven for success!

BLOWIN’ UP WITH BOURDAIN

Have I not pointed out that the best “reality show” episode of the year was Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations when the chef found himself stuck in Beirut during the period the Israelis bombed the town. It was the Graham Greene experience as Bourdain and is crew sat by a hotel pool watching the missiles explode on buildings below.

When I first encountered Bourdain on the Food Channel. I watched three minutes, took a dislike to the guy and turned off the show. He struck me as an egotistical prick. But when I saw a promo for his Beirut adventure, I wanted to see what happens when a food show turns into a combat photography crew.

Bourdain’s journey which started out with joyful nightlife and ended with him being evacuated on a beach was amazing. The only thing it lacked to be a true Graham Greene experience is a failed torrid romance. After watching the show, I grabbed the library card and picked up Kitchen Confidential and A Cook’s Tour. Both books were devoured like courses at the French Laundry. He doesn’t brag that he’s the greatest chef in America. He’s quick to mention current chefs that he holds in esteem.

After reading the books, I felt relieved that I had never entered the food service industry. The baseball legend Stan Musuel once said that the secret to making a million dollars in the restaurant business is to start with two million dollars. Bourdain confirmed that it’s a nasty business. Also working the kitchen was a great way to have you hands lose that Palmolive smoothness.

On my list of things to do: Drink booze with Bourdain and jabber about Simpsons episodes. I’d wear an onion in my belt and bring twelve pounds of nutmeg as a gift.

SLAP ‘EM HARDER

Does My Super Sweet 16 collect the most conceited bunch of teenage girls in the history of television? How can a girl pick out an SUV because it matches her sunglasses. Or think their dad can book Green Day for their birthday party. The best was the girl who wanted Eminem. The guy hasn’t toured in a few years and he’s going to make a comeback for your bitchfest?  Maybe you can get D-12 for $75K. Do these gals understand the value of a dollar? Of course not. Although in a few years, they’ll be keeping track of twenties as they find themselves being videotaped by Brent Owens at the Point.

I want to have MTV rework this show so that on the morning of their birthday, these girls and their best friends all get jetted out to Iraq so they can “party” in Baghdad. Give ’em a bag of goodies, a map and best wishes for them to make it to the Green Zone.

BAG ‘EM, SANTA

If you only get one freakish holiday film this year, let it be Santa’s Slay. Basically it tells the story of how Santa went bad and slaughters everyone. Wrestling great Goldberg plays homicidal St. Nick. The opening scene alone is worth the rental as he butchers a family dinner including Chris Kattan and James Caan. It’s a short film so it mixes well with egg nogg.

GREEN NO MORE

It’s disgusting to see Rolling Rock beer ads that link the formerly fine green glass to St. Louis. Even more pathetic is knowing that instead of being brewed in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, the folks at Budweiser are making it in Newark, New Jersey. Is that a hint of jet fuel run off that I’m now tasting? Or is it merely the subtle decomposition of a former Tony Soprano business associate?

Rolling Rock, you no longer are a welcome guest in my fridge. Thanks for killing the joy, Budweiser dorks.

KRAMER RANT

The war on Festivus is on. Seems that a lot of people are angry that Festivus has passed Kwanza as America’s favorite 20th century winter holiday. So now they’ve blown out Michael Richards’ meltdown as to a reason to boycott anything Seinfeld related. As we all know, this is a major blow since Seinfeld was second only to Scarface in influencing rappers.

What’s worse is that now I’m unsure if it’s OK to invite minorities to my annual Festivus party. Is it now as wrong as inviting them to a cross burning with the BYO Marshmallows notice? Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton were on my invite list.

Let us keep Festivus as Festivus. We need to remember that it’s about Kramer and not Michael Richards. Although it is important to note that Michael Richards should be the guest of honor at every Festivus celebration. During the Airing of Grievances, it’s pretty easy to state how he disappointed us this season.

Is John Gibson going to help me protect Festivus?

WHAT’S ON TV NOW?

With The Wire, Dexter and Nip/Tuck all coming to the end of their short seasons, what will I be watching in January? Probably have to get drunk and watch American Idol with Mrs. Corey. Hopefully this season some kid will perform “Pac-Man Fever.”

SATURDAY MORNING FUN BLITZ

If you’re looking for gifts for folks who grew up in the 70s, you should dip into vintage Saturday morning shows that are now out on DVD. Groovie Goolies: Saturday Mourning Collection has all the episodes of this monsters meets Laugh-In series. Nothing too scary for the kids with Drac, Frankie and Wolfie telling goofy jokes and rockin’ out. Return to the Planet of the Apes collects all 13 episodes of this spin off of monkeys ruling the world. The show is much better than the live action TV series. Star Trek: The Animated Series finally lets me see this painted show that features the voice of Shatner and Nimoy. Why does this series get hidden in the closet and spited by Klingon speaking goofs? It’s perhaps one of the best written Saturday morning shows. Well it’s better than Goober and the Ghost Chasers.

As far as finishing up series, the fifth (and final) DVD of Speed Racer is out. I feel bad for kids hooked on Bob the Builder since they don’t know what making the Mach 5 is all about. Also the second half of Ultraman reminds us of that time when men in rubber monster suits ruled our universe.

Plus there’s Ark II a twisted live action show about a group of scientists roaming the post-apocalypse earth in a giant van to help out people. The scientists look like they escaped a porn set. Plus they have a talking monkey. Get it now.

With such wonders on DVD, you might actually wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy them properly with a bowl of Frankenberry.

COME ON DOWN!

Is Nigel Barker on America’s Next Top Model the secret love child of Bob Barker? He seems to have the Price Is Right legend’s smile and last name.

Have I already declared that Todd Newton (formerly of E! fame) is going to replace Bob when Barker retires? Newton’s been scoring well hosting the live Vegas version of the show. He won’t look like a complete rookie when Bob passes over the thin microphone.

AMY SEDARIS: I LIKE YOU

If you have to buy a woman a gift this year, get her Amy Sedaris’ I Like You. It’s her outrageous take on those Martha Stewart Entertaining books. There are actual useful tips within the jaw dropping suggestions. Plus there’s a great pic of Amy covered in sprinkles.

Amy Sedaris is on my list of three people I can have a torrid weekend in Las Vegas without the threat of a divorce. Originally Mrs. Corey thought it was a joke since she’d only seen her as the former crack whore that’s returned to high school on Strangers With Candy. She thought Amy was just killing space between Uma Thurman and Bea Arthur until Lisa Simpson turns 18. But after seeing Amy made up to look like a human cupcake, I’ve been placed on a diet.

BOWLED UNDER

Who is naming the bowls this year? Nothing says a great game like the San Diego Country Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. Who isn’t pumped for the Papajohns.com Bowl? Does the loser have to ride to the airport after delivering a dozen pies in the area? And what is a New Mexico Bowl? Or a Texas Bowl? Since the International Bowl is played in Toronto, does that mean they’ll have a 110 yards to run? Which is more macho: The Brut Sun Bowl or Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl?

I’m reminded of the old Sports Monster joke about the Juggs Bowl. Now that would be a college halftime show worthy of our attention.

COWBOY UP

After talking about Randy Jones, the Cowboy from the Village People, I was forwarded his website: http://www.randyjonesworld.com. Seems that Randy has been extra busy over the past few years with low budget films and live performances. Way to go, Cowboy.

TIME TO BE WASTED

It’s oral surgery time and I’m hoping to get hooked up with the Vicodin. Last time I was on ’em, I kept getting calls from Amanda Peet wanting to know why my ass wasn’t on the set of Studio 60. Wait a minute, I’m not Matthew Perry. The bad part was the pills ran out just when my great country music song was rattling around in my head.

Toy Box: Spider-Man Origins 9″ figures

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 1:39 am
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Everyone is already wetting their pants over next year’s Spider-Man 3. The recently leaked trailer showing Venom was just more icing on an already huge cake of hype, and expectations haven’t been this high since Peter Jackson released the final film in the LOTR trilogy.

Of course, everyone will be on this bandwagon, and the Spider-Man toys will be hitting from every angle. One of those angles is called nostalgia, and that’s clearly the angle Hasbro is going for with the new Spider-Man Origins 9″ figures.

What? Did I say Hasbro? Yes, unless you’ve been partying with Lindsay Lohan for most of 2006, youi know that Toybiz is no more, and that Hasbro will be picking up the manufacture of the Marvel figures, including all new Spider-man goodies. The very first of Hasbro’s new product is now hitting shelves, including these 9″ guys.

This line is not intended to be the finest sculpts, although they aren’t too bad. It’s not intended to have the ultimate articulation, the largest number of accessories, or even the most realistic costumes. These things have been left to the more expensive line ups, like the work from Medicom in their 12″ Marvel line. No, this series is intended to tap into the kids (and adults who can still appreciate it) out there who have an affinity for the old Mego style of action figures.

Many adults grew up playing with the old Mego Spider-man and his friends, and now those same adults are the target audience to buy these for their own kids – or perhaps themselves.

“Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus”

This first series includes four figures – Spider-man, Symbiote (black costume) Spider-man, Green Goblin and Doctor Octopus. If there was any question as to whether the movies had an influence, look no further than this debut line up for proof.

I’m going to review two of these – Doc Ock and regular Spidey – here today, with the other two getting the treatment at MROTW. Fans of DC 9″ figures, Famous Covers and yes, even Megos should be pretty happy. For everyone else, these won’t be your cup of java.

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Packaging – ***1/2
I like these boxes quite a bit, although they aren’t the most collector friendly. You don’t have to destroy anything getting them out, but there’s enough twistie ties and rubber bands holding them in place that you’ll never put them back again. Too bad they couldn’t follow the Famous Covers route and just use the molded tray to hold them in position.

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Yes, that’s the black costume Spidey in the photo above. Each of the boxes is personalized to the character with the large head shot to the right (or his left), and the coolest of these is Green Goblin, whose eye is actually done in ‘3-D’.

Sculpting – Spider-man ***; Doc Ock **1/2
These figures are done using the same bodies as the old DC 9″ figures from a few years back. You may remember characters like Batman and Penguin, Joker, Martian Manhunter, Batman Beyond, or even the NASCAR drivers that were produced 5 or 6 years ago using this body. Now that Hasbro has the Marvel characters under their wing, they’ve decided to release some of those comic characters in the same style and size.

Both of these figures sport sharper lines and deeper cuts than you might have expected, but it works well for the most part. The Spidey sculpt on the head, hands and boots actually remindes me a bit of the Icons version, with the deeply set lines for the webbing. However, unlike the Icons version, he appears to have a nose underneath the mask. His left hand is sculpted in the usual kung-fu grip style, but the right is done with the fingers in a permanent web shooting pose.

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Both heads are solid plastic and not hollow, thank goodness, which means they hold harsh detail much better. Perhaps the detail is a little too harsh on old Ock though, who has a deeply etched face. His hair has great detail though, and while the expression isn’t one of my favorites, it’s accetable.

The boots and gloves are done the same way as the old figures, with solid plastic uppers on the forearms and calves, and sculpted hands and feet with articulation. The suits are glued up underneat these plastic uppers, holding them firmly in place.

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Paint – Doc Ock ***; Spider-man **1/2
While the paint work on these isn’t stellar by any means, it’s fairly consistent with other mass market toys.

Doc Ock has the better technical application, with clean lines between colors and little to no bleed. The small teeth are well done, and there’s no sign of the black from the glasses on any of the face. However, his skin tone is the color the head was cast in, and that makes the finish on the skin quite glossy. I’d have prefered a painted face as well, but at this price point I’m not surprised.

Spidey isn’t as clean, particularly aroudn the eyes and webbing lines on the head. There’s quite a bit of slop with the white in particular, and it’s not as consistent in thickness and coverage either.

Articulation – ***
If you picked up any of the old DC 9″ figures, you’ll know what to expect here. There’s a cut neck, ball jointed hips and shoulders, pin elbows and knees, pin wrists and ankles, cut biceps, cut waist, and the hinged chest joint. Oh, and let’s not forget the pin joint through the fingers, allowing them to open and close all as one unit.

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This isn’t exactly Medicom articulation, but it works pretty well in this scale. The ball jointed shoulders are a little restricted, and I really would like to see a ball jointed neck, but the figures can still take quite a few decent poses. On top of the standard articulation, each of the four tentacles on Doc Ock are bendy, and work pretty well.

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Accessories – Bupkis
If you count the good Doctor’s arms and belt as part of his overall outfit, then these figures are accessory-less. That’s a bit of a disappointment, considering the price point, but it does seem that short of getting goofy, coming up with good accessories in the Spider-man lines has always been a problem.

Outfit – ***
Both figures have cloth uniforms, sewn up tight in the back and glued in under the cuffs and boots. They fit pretty tightly, or at least as tightly as this thicker material can. Any time you twist or bend the arms or legs you’ll see wrinkles, but that’s the nature of cloth.

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In fact, the outifts fit a little too tight in some areas, sucking their way into the hip joints a bit more than you’d like. I’m not going to complain too loudlly though, since I prefer too tight to too loose.

The printing of the web pattern on Spidey’s costume looks great, and the bright blue and red are nice and consistent. The red of the costume doesn’t quite match the red of the plastic, but it’s fairly close considering the differences in the materials.

Doc Ock also has a removable belt with his outfit, which is very plain and basic. His glasses are part of the head sculpt and not removable.

Fun Factor – ***1/2
These aren’t the prettiest figures you’ll see on the shelves, but they are a lot of fun. I also think the size is really good, coming in between the large and often difficult to handle 12″ figures, but more meaty than the 6″ scale. Of course, for the adults who collected either the old Famous Covers line or the DC 9″ Heroes line, these will fit right in.

Value – **1/2
I’m not in the least bit surprised these are $15 – I can’t see them really being offered for less. Still, it’s merely an average, getting what you paid for value, unlike the much larger Icons which cost the same amount.

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Things to Watch Out For –
Not much. I popped off a tentacle when posing Ock, but it popped right back in again. I think they’re all supposed to be glued, but I wasn’t going to start yanking on the rest to see. Even if they are removable, it’s unlikely you’d pose him without them.

Overall – ***
If you’re looking for cutting edge, you best be looking elsewhere. These are old school through and through, and are likely to appeal to geezers who fondly remember Megos more than kids and adults looking for hyper-articulated, ultra modern sculpts. But if you know what you’re getting going in – and don’t unfairly compare them to things that they were never meant to compete with – then you may be pleasantly surprised.

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Scoring Recap:
Packaging – ***1/2
Sculpt – Spider-Man ***; Doc Ock **1/2
Paint – Doc Ock ***; Spidey **1/2
Articulation – ***
Accessories – Bupkis
Outfit – ***
Fun Factor ***1/2
Value – **1/2
Overall – ***

Where to Buy –
Stores like Toys R Us and Target are your best bet at this point.

Related Links –
I have a ton of Spider-Man related reviews out there of course, but the two most recent – and relevant – include the other half of this review, which looks at the 9″ Symbiote Spider-man and Green Goblin, and the new 12″ Spider-Man in the Marvel Legends Icons line up.

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