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By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

Quick Note: I will be getting to the winners of THE FOUNTAIN poster contest next week but I did want to take this moment to thank all of you, the readers, who have made this a real banner year for me. I am thankful and grateful for all the opportunities I was given to really bring this column further into something that I can find delight in doing every week (I haven’t missed a week since starting nearly 3 years ago) with my interviewing and long-form pieces I’ve been able to write for this site. I finally came to accept that I am half-way decent at my efforts to branch out and I want to continue that trend in ’07 by providing even more free content that you Inter-Tubers seem to consume so much of. So genuinely, from my heart, many thanks to you, the teeming dozen or so consistent readers I have been able to talk to every week with my writing. (Let’s all say a prayer in hope that I can earn more than $30 in the New Year)

I hope all of you have a safe New Year’s Eve and keeping with my end of year goings-on in the Trailer Park it’s time to dim the lights, chill the ham and get down to the trailers that rocked my wiz-orld in 2006. Talk to you next year.

10. THE LAKE HOUSE

See this middle, extended phalange?

It’s up for every critic that shredded this movie.

I absolutely dug this trailer from start to finish. From Sandra’s opening monologue that really re-defined my view of her abilities as an actress; CRASH, come on, was wretched in the way she tried to vamp up her part of the upper-class white lady with a lot of racist anger. To top it off, she looks absolutely gorgeous.

The plot is quickly put into motion the crux of the movie’s plot: “What if you lived two years apart?”

I don’t know why but it was this tagline that hooked me. More than just mere science fiction, I believe this film’s premise was completely inventive. Someone took your average romantic film and infused it with a little something interesting.

The halfway point of this trailer has Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know” is instrumental in further defining how this film is going to pull off having the two leads be entirely separated from one another for the entire film, save two scenes. What’s more is that the leads are never even hinted at ever coming together; how easy would it have been to try and hose people to just insert a moment when they actually do?

The trailer at almost the very end just explodes with nicely confusing moments that really pushed me over the edge in wanting to see what this film was all about. Judging by the box office I am still stumped at figuring out why no one else wanted to. The trailer is still a favorite of mine and one that superbly defined how this kind of film needed to be presented, even if people didn’t show up to support it.

A-holes.

9. TRUST THE MAN

I don’t know why but this movie just struck some sort of nerve.

With the opening you have the entire movie mapped out in front of you: man has friend. Man loves sex, craves it. Julianne Moore actually seems like she’s in a film to help propel the plot, not be the overreaching thumb of the hand that tries to outdo her fellow ensemble actors; she’s likeable, of all things.

David Duchovny wins me over with his instant charm that’s on full display. The way his relationship with Billy Crudup, an individual who needs to be around more often in film, works, I would assert, comes through like a bullhorn in a bathroom stall. If you can believe the relationship all the rest is dependant on the writing.

What’s more is the inclusion of James Blunt’s “Wisemen” which has the overall Grey’s Effect (It’s in the process of being trademarked.) of having the music carry the dramatic weight of the events that come after the midpoint, namely Billy and David’s relationship. And I think this is what gets me every single time I watch the trailer.

The preview is excellent at promising a movie that will deal with relationships between men. In this age of female-fueled romantic comedies, i.e. RUMOR HAS IT, it is nice to know there might be a film that looks at the way men deal with each other when it deals with matters of the heart.

8. CRANK
Stop pointing your fingers and laughing, this movie was everything that the trailer said it was going to be.

I have to commend this trailer for a lot of reasons but the one thing I’ve come back to every single time is that the narrative is established wonderfully within the first 15 seconds. Because you knew, up front, that Statham had his one-way ticket to death punched and that the Reaper was going to collect by the end of the flick it set the tone for everything that comes after.

It’s easy to slap around these kinds of mindless, brainless, masturbatory male-oriented action flicks around but they serve such a vital role in the landscape of cinema. For every art project that a director wants to do that somehow defines what it is to be human in the grand tradition of Grecian drama you absolutely need to have movies that showcase the other side of human nature: the need to blow shit up.

The trailer takes you on an ADD ride that, while it hinders most other trailers that want to seem “edgy” or exciting, absolutely adds to this film’s attraction. From Statham’s action-movie smoothness to the blatant absence of any kind of plot other than what was stated at the beginning you have a recipe for warm and fuzzy destruction.

7. CASINO ROYALE

Parkour.

I think that’s one of the things that did it for me in this teaser trailer and why I selected it to be the one trailer I reviewed for Moving Pictures magazine, my first real published work.

I will be honest when I say that I didn’t have feelings about Daniel Craig being the new Bond one way or the other. Sure, you had purists that tried to petition Craig’s presence in the role while also having the media report on every misstep the man had on set. Yes, he had his teeth kicked in and there was speculation he didn’t really know how to handle a gun but this teaser trailer locked me in for good. This was surprising even for me because I am usually very suspicious of teaser trailers as opposed to their two and a half minute brethren.

When Craig takes on a bloke in the loo, and gives him a proper thrashing, I was absolutely sold. For me it was always an issue that the Pierce Brosnan years for the Bond series were kind of dull. There wasn’t a whole lot of fisticuffs or much in the way of substance, just ludicrous and implausible stunting and bad writing.

This teaser exudes the kind of mystique and allure that a Bond movie should have in ample amounts. There is a reason why people can’t stop talking about how this film is really a return to form for the franchise and this teaser had everything you needed to know before everyone else said it.

6. FEARLESS

Do I really need to explain this one?

Jet Li’s “supposed” last film of this variety is delicately but efficiently introduced with David Lo Pan of BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA fame makes this history lesson real easy to understand: China gets occupied, white men want to overtly show how utterly awesome their strength is and Li comes in to school these guys while mopping their faces inside a fighting ring.

There’s a delicate balance of how you sell this action movie that definitely has a solid heart and this trailer manages to do it. Li comes off as quietly effective at being this character with a largess that’s just indescribable. However, I can put into words the kind of eye-popping action that comes in the form of Li thrashing some nameless, faceless dude while holding an umbrella.

Then there’s the duel of swords in the pool.

The effect of showing these fight sequences works in marriage with the larger plotline of this movie having at least some kind of context in the real world. The overall feel of this trailer feels more like a dramatic action movie than just an all-out martial arts extravaganza. This being Jet’s last foray into the genre you would have thought he would have done it with enough panache and fanfare to make everyone stand-up and take notice. The nice part is that the trailer shows that Jet wanted to have a movie that was substantial, not exploitative. A class act.

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINAL FIVE…And would someone clean up the yak that’s dried up on the carpet? Thanks.

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