FRED Entertainment

July 16, 2006

Widge Goes Off #4: Deadly Deuteronomy!

Filed under: Widge Goes Off — widge @ 11:50 pm
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Welcome back. I know you’re wondering why I’ve called you all here and I can’t tell you because I don’t know myself. But I do know it’s a big thing.

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has caused laboratory rats to both explode and implode simultaneously.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (29.5 MBs)

widgepic.jpgThat’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

Pirates continues to destroy the box office. We’re going to talk about that and Superman in the podcast. I think Little Man and Dupree did damn well, all things considered. The Wayans had their best opening weekend since the Scary Movie franchise. Dupree was basically Owen Wilson’s film, although Kate Hudson is starting to get a track record for carrying films between this and How to Lose a Guy. Why it’s been an issue before, I have no idea. It’s Kate freaking Hudson, for God’s sake.

Devil Wears Prada has decent legs, although at this stage of the game it’s just waiting for DVD so it can get some serious profit going.

Cars is about to break $300 million worldwide, so nobody there has any complaints. Between enjoying this film and looking forward to Ricky Bobby, I’m scaring the crap out of myself, I don’t mind telling you.

Click is untouchable and what’s interesting is how consistently Sandler can open a comedy. He’s generally hit above $40M as an opener. Looks like the last time he didn’t was Little Nicky back in 2000.

The Lake House…yeah, I’m getting hooked on the Box Office Mojo feature that lets you look at track records for stars. God, I love this site. If you check out Keanu, this is exactly what you might expect for films of this genre. He’s like the Harrison Ford of his generation–he does great in action and sci-fi stuff, but when he tries to break out of his particular mold–he can’t do it. At least not and pull the crowds.

Nacho Libre is actually a career best for Jack Black carrying a film as far as adjusted openings go. And no, we don’t count animated films or even King Kong–because you know what we all went to see on that one. Not that we got what we came for, but c’est la guerre.

Scanner Darkly hits the Top 10 and I’m not sure what the thought is with this. Good P.K. Dick adaptations do well at the box office, unless Paycheck scared the shit out of people. Keanu normally does well with genre, like I’ve said before. Maybe they think that the Linklater animation has it so artsy that they’re opening slow to build word of mouth. Best of luck on that.

Join us next time for when we’ll have a helluva weekend to talk about: Pirates 2 still in the running plus the new M. Night flick, a fantasy romantic comedy with a spandex twist, a family flick, and the latest from our landlord and savior. Should make for an interesting weekend.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

 

July 14, 2006

Game On! 7-14-2006

Filed under: Game On! — admin @ 5:36 pm

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Hello again friends, and welcome to a slightly late edition of this week’s GAME ON! This week, it’s all for the 360 as we look at a few new titles to grace the next-gen console, as well as an announcement about some classics scheduled to hit the Xbox Live Arcade, beginning this week. First things first, however, so let’s get to the reviews.

G-WHIZZ

overg.jpgFlight simulators are as common place in gaming as it gets. Flight sims for consoles however aren’t as prevalent as they are for PC. Still, when one comes along, it hits that niche market that craves a little speed and the sensation of soaring through the clouds, engaging in dogfights and sweeping across the countryside in giant metal beasts with wings. OVER G FIGHTERS attempts to answer the call with some realistic style gameplay and customization, but eventually falls flat.

The game strives for realisim in every effort, from modern day planes and jets, to flight controls and realistic weapon loadouts for each mission. However, this realistic approach to the planes may not be thebest when engaging in a game of this kind. My first and main complaint with this game is that there really doesn’t seem to be a sense of speed when flying. This is where the game pushes the realisim envelope a bit too far. Sure, you may not see the ground sweeping by at a fast clip when you’re really up in a jet fighter, but just because it’s a accurate representation of flight, doesn’t make it all that FUN. Sadly, that can be said for a lot of elements of OVER G.

While the combat is passable and the controls are responsive, anothe rfault lies within the game’s targetting system. With most flight sims, when you change direction, your targetting reticule moves with you, aiming as you fly. Here, the reticule seems a bit…well, floaty, as it sways and sweeps across your field of vision. Lining up shots is a hassle, and getting enemy fighters in your sights takes a lot of patience. What’s more, with every bank and turn, it’s hard to fly STRAIGHT, as your jet will either drift up or down as you adjust your course.

Sure, there’s a decent amount of customization found here. Before each mission, you can adjust your weapon loadouts to your specific likings, and as you progress, you unlock more and more powerful jets to fly. And while the flight takes some getting used to, the online dogfights are decent enough for players to warrant a passing look. The single player missions, however, are a tedious affair, only useful for getting used to the controls and unlocking more fighters. The missions tend to be a bit repetative, and ground forces that you are to attack or protect are virtually invisible. Often, you won’t know what’s been attacking you until it’s too late, and you’ll have to start the mission all over again, as missiles from the ground pummel you time and time again.

The worst of it all, though, is that the game really doesn’t even qualify as a “next-gen” title. The jets look alight, but the backgrounds are bland and undetailed, and the details in the enemy fighters are minimal at best. The few story elements are done through static drawings for characters with paltry voice work. There are a few cutscenes that depict the mission layout, but these are usually skip worthy as well.

While it may not give you as much vertigo as BLAZING ANGELS does with it’s lock-on camera, you’ll still find yourself fighting with the targetting reticule as you attempt to line up just about anything in your sights. There are three views to choose from, but all react just the same with the same floaty target. The online dogfights save the title from being a complete washout, but the fact that the jets can only be unlocked through the single player missions keep this from being anything but a weekend rental.

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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PREY

preybox.jpgLast week i checked out the singleplayer demo for PREY, and enjoyed it more than i thought i would. This week, the full game has been released, and my opinion hasn’t changed much from that initial demo review. There’s plenty to like about PREY, and after playing through the single player and “multiprey” options, FPS fans may agree with me.

What i expressed last week still holds true; PREY is a cool FPS that strays from the norm through it’s use of gravity defying manuvers such as walk walks and buttons in rooms that change the orientation of your surroundings, portals that move your character through levels of the ship and more. The weapon selection is unique and varied, and again unlike the majority of shooters out there, such as the leech gun, which syphons energy from different stations on the ship for different types of ammo output, from plasma charges, freeze beam, lighting rails and such. Each weapon has a primary and secondary attack fuction that vary the style in which you shoot as well.

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The other main draw is the “spiritwalk” when Tommy leaves his body and move around in his etherial form to unlock impasses or manuver past forcefields and puzzles. While a bit gimmicky, it’s still a nice change over the normal FPS fodder. Also of note is the “deathwalk”. In PREY, you never really die. When your health is depleted, you’re transported to the spirit world where you must fight and gather souls to return to the land of the living, bringing you back to the point where you left off. This eliminates the need for backtracking and redoing sections of the game that you’ve done before and have to repeat due to a death reload.The multiplayer aspects here are a ton of fun too, and though they don’t offer a huge amount of options (just Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch are available) the variety of the weapons and levels found here certainly spice things up. You can fully use the wall paths and gravity defying devices found around each level, opening up playing field that most FPS’ ignore…the sky is literally the limit here.

The game is fun, no doubt about it here. And with the furious and UNREAL type gameplay found in the “Multiprey” section of the game, there’s certainly something different that FPS fans can enjoy until the bigger guns of HALO and GEARS OF WAR come along. It’s unique, it’s fresh, and it’s nice to see something taking a risk by trying something different…and having it work on all levels.

One Gamer’s Opinion:
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XBOX LIVE ARCADE

This week, Xbox Marketplace began “Xbox Live Arcade Wednesdays” by releasing FROGGER for download in the arcade. Every Wednesday for the next month, they’ll be offering a new arcade title, which is nice since we haven’t seen anything at all since the super-addictive UNO back in May. Next week it’s a new title called CLONING CLYDE, followed by GALAGA on July 26th, STREET FIGHTER II’ HYPER FIGHTING EDITION on August 2nd, and finally PAC-MAN on August 9th. I’m most excited about STREET FIGHTER II, as i’ve been waiting for that one since they announced it back in February. Now all we need is for Konami to finish up the Live Arcade version of CONTRA, and I can die happy. Hit me up online for some Co-Op or VS games, my gamer tag is “Insane Ian B”.

And that’s all for this week, kids. Tune in next week as we look at more reviews and news, including some PSP titles such as JUICED ELIMINATOR. Until then, Game On!

Addicted to Bad: Evil (Brain) Dead

Filed under: Addicted to Bad — UncaScroogeMcD @ 6:07 am
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Say what you will about Enron and Worldcom and Tyco, at least they never allowed their artificially intelligent mainframe to kill all the employees of their secret underground headquarters after a killer virus was unleashed by mercenary techno-terrorists. Yep, you can say a lot of things about those companies, but their underground headquarters weren’t at all secret.

poster.jpgNo such luck in RESIDENT EVIL, the “film” based on the “popular” video game about shooting things, where employees of “the Hive” are drowned, decapitated, and brutally edited right out of existence by the Red Queen, the holographic representation of the Hive’s supercomputer, modeled (we’re told) after the programmer’s extremely creepy, extremely English daughter. I’m not blaming these workers for winding up dead of a flesh-eating virus and all, but maybe the first clue that you had made a poor career choice was that the interface for your timesheet is a weird little holographic girl. That, and your office is called “the Hive.”

And, as anyone with a bee infestation can tell you, hive residents are not easy to get rid of. These particular ones are more difficult than most, as they have a nasty habit of coming back from the dead. (Or maybe they’re just really hung over. And missing eyeballs. Hard to say.) Enter Ukrainian supermodel Milla Jovovich, fresh from being annoying and mostly naked in THE FIFTH ELEMENT. Here she wakes up naked and curled up in the shower with no memory. Which, I have to say, really brings back memories of that one summer I was a roadie for Motley Crue…

re1.jpgEventually Milla finds some clothes and wanders around the house a bit, getting frightened by curtains and animals that appear for no scientifically valid reason. Then, sensing a trend, armed commandos burst in through the windows for no reason and grab her. Bolstered by the success of this utterly pointless move, they elect to bring the amnesiac supermodel along on their highly dangerous mission into the top-secret hot zone, grabbing a few additional random people along the way just for kicks. Because what’s a highly sensitive mission without a bunch of untrained, useless deadweight along to really screw things up?

Miraculously, they arrive at their destination with only half their team dead. Their mission is to shut down the creepy little girl computer, who doesn’t have an “off” switch, which should definitely be a feature on Creepy Little Supercomputer Girl 2.0. Honestly, no one wants to carry around an electromagnetic pulse generator just so they can reboot whenever Outlook freezes.

Before she’s pulsed, Li’l Creepy warns them that shutting her down will have serious consequences, but, in keeping with the sort of decision making that got half their team killed, they do it anyway. And right on time, the zombies show up and mistake the group for bacon. They have been ravaged by a virus that brings the dead back to life by, in effect, jump starting the body’s engine, but not the stereo or the odometer or the little computer that controls the fuel mixture that costs $650 to repair. I’m pretty sure the cigarette lighter works, but the ashtray’s full. At $3200, it’s a steal.

re2.jpgSo apparently, these jumpstarted dead people’s only remaining drive is hunger. And, for the undead, they sure seem to be picky eaters, because they never try to eat the drywall or the light fixtures or each other. Which brings up a worrisome issue: We see the zombies eat at least two guys, but what happens then? Can zombies be full? Can they gain weight? Do they poop? Because if they do, I’m pretty sure it has to be the worst thing in the world. But then, maybe the whole purpose of the Hive’s research is to harness the awesome potential military uses of zombie poop.

The movie, sadly, never delves into the obvious potential of the dung of the dead, instead preferring to let Milla kick things, mostly in the head. But like most movies adapted from video games, it’s akin to having a dickweed friend who never lets you have a turn with the controller. And with friends like that, who needs creepy English computer holograms?

Trailer Park: Why yes… I Will Be At Comic-Con Next Week

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 4:12 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

A lot of times I get people inquiring about a certain song that plays in a trailer.

It’s, perhaps, the one thing I get the most when people check out one of these things online. I am always happy to assist when I can as providing these kinds of answers is always nice to know people are reading.

Then, of course, there are people like Mark D. who took contention with my assertion from a column I did in January 2005 that goofed on coach Mike Ditka’s choice of sunglasses in the trailer for KICKING AND SCREAMING. I tossed out the idea that Da Coach was sporting BluBlockers, an innocuous goof that I thought lived and died in one week’s time. Nope. Mark just recently went on a week’s long journey to find out exactly what kind of eyewear Ditka wore and didn’t stop until he got proof positive confirmation of it.

Sometimes it’s the songs in trailers that get stuck in your head, be it Keane’s song “Somewhere Only We Know” in THE LAKE HOUSE, James Blunt’s ditty “Wisemen” for TRUST THE MAN but sometimes it can be a passing image and Mark D. receives a No-Prize this week for showing that obessive/compulsive behaviors know no boundaries.

Also, to those who are going next week to the Comic-Con in San Diego next week: shoot me a note to let me know you’re going. It’s the one time out of the year when I actually get out of the house and get some sun so it’d be nice to see some of you ‘Shooters, or ‘Stoppers while I’m there trolling to see what I can buy and ostensibly make a good enough case to my wife about why I really do deserve to have a 1:1 scale replica of the Green Goblin’s head next to my pillow on my night stand.

Now, in other, more enviornmental news, I had the chance to watch the documentary WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR? which was kindly punted my way from the nice people at Sony Pictures Classics and anyone within West Coast ear shot this week was treated to a short, yet amusingly poignant, interview with Chris Paine, director and writer of the film, on the Adam Carolla radio show.

Now even though most listening to Adam and Chris talk about the oddity that was GM’s EV1 electric vehicle leasing program, ostensibly to see how people would respond to this new brand of automobile, was peppered with jokes it was at the same time appaling to know that GM was folding under the pressure of outside influences, namely the oil companies, and never allowed those who leased these prototypes to ever have ownership of them.

They were all taken back, in perfect working condition, and “recycled”; crushed into pieces. Thus, this is only really the surface of what’s contained in this film by Paine.

Now, all things being equal there is no divorcing the fact that Paine, himself, was an owner of one these cars and making this movie seems like a catharsis or a call to arms of some kind. Those seeing the former will no doubt see the overwrought funeral scene in the beginning of this movie, where the EV1 is quite literally mourned and eulogized in a cemetary as some hippie cum granola head grandstanding that not even Air America would be able and spin in their favor. Heap onto this that Martin “tree hugger” Sheen is narrating this thing and already the film’s motives can be called into question.

However, the bulk of the movie’s weight, it’s importance is embedded with things that are not of the filmmaker’s making: GM’s awful response to why the EV1 was really taken off the road, numerous events that call into question who really is in charge of this country’s legislature and chilling reminders that conspiracies are not just for those people who like to rock a tin foil hat once in a while.

We are all beholden to an economic system that is based on oil, oil interests and the money that can buy every single person in Washington if given the opportunity and there isn’t anything, not you, you or you will be able to change the way things are. That, I feel, is the most sobering message in this film and one that, while there are minute things we all as a populace could do if so inclined, I think is important to keep fresh in people’s minds.

The film is so much more than the sum of its parts, from its dead-on use of interview material to its personal ancecodes of those who drove the vehicles and champion the experience of driving the cars while also skewering GM’s assertion that since there wasn’t a lot of interest in these cars it made perfect sense to kill the prototype project; there was, in fact, a waiting list of over 5,000 people waiting for these cars and, despite GM’s claim that only 50 of these 5,000 ever took GM up on a lease, every single car that was offered up by GM was taken by a willing customer.

This is a movie that should be required viewing for anyone who wants to see how we, as a country, can come to the point of where we’re paying over $3.00 a gallon worth of gasoline for cars that are actually getting worse gas mileage than their ancestoral brethren from decades ago. It boggles the mind and this movie should be seen as a first shot across the bow of monied interests that will continure to do whatever it wants with the funds it has at its disposal. WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR? is now out in theaters.

THE PUFFY CHAIR (2006)

Director: Jay Duplass
Cast: Mark Duplass, Kathryn Aselton, Rhett Wilkins, Julie Fischer, Bari Hyman
Release: June 2, 2006
Synopsis: Josh has failed at being a NYC indie rocker. Josh has failed at being a booking agent. Josh’s life is pretty much in the toilet. When he tries to figure out where it all went wrong he comes up with an idea that would be a small, yet life changing victory. He decides to purchase a 1985 Lazy Boy on eBay and deliver it cross-country.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Please.

If anyone has ever cared about asking me the question “What’s the best way to start a trailer?” you can simply hop in your modified Honda hooptie CRX with the glass packs, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo, muffler that looks like it shoot russet potatoes and watch the opening to this one.

There is nothing mysterious about some of the more keener ways to get people’s attention but, at the absolute minimum, you should take the advice that dropping someone into the crux of what the whole movie is going to revolve around is a good idea.

What could be better than bringing people into a conversation where we don’t know the person talking, what they’re all about or why he’s talking about a puffy chair? I like this because we’re not subjected to half-cocked voiceovers trying to make sense of the plot for us instead of the actors, whose job it is to make me believe in the story, doing it for us; and that’s what we’re given here: dude buys a chair that reminds him of his youth, is going on a road trip to deliver it to his father and, by the way, this movie was a Sundance Selection and a winner at the SXSW festival.

Bing.

Everything I need to know about what this movie is going to do is put out for me to judge, a rather bold movie when you consider the amount of deceit that goes into a lot of trailers, and since it was so refreshing to me as a viewer I am pleased to give this movie more of a chance than I give others.

It’s funny that our protagonist, who really hasn’t been clearly defined yet, apes John Cusack’s boom box over the head shtick, something I am surprised hasn’t been done more in a co-opting culture such as ours, as he convinces his really cute lady friend to go with him on this road trip. We meet up with the dude’s other friend, a hippy Jack Johnson type, who expresses interest in inserting himself into this adventure and I think it adds a little extra element of curiosity that things shift in this direction.

A positive review from The Daily Mirror always helps; it’s brief, to the point, and disappears swiftly.

A jolt suddenly passes through me as we’re exposed to our main man cavorting and running around in his tighty-whiteys.

Quick love note from Variety is nice.

Our dude and his lady share a special moment at the dinner table and, I swear, like art imitating life it is disrupted by the guy’s insistence on taking a phone call from one of his “bros.” The accompanying violent outburst from his girlfriend is really unexpected.

The quick clips that come after this show us that our man is capable of rage all his own with his mouth, his hands and the way his lays into the car horn for a really long time. I am not sure of how to follow the plot further after things start to disintegrate with all these people, the hippie trying to be the calming force within the eye of these hurricanes, but the plot here inexplicably fascinates me.

“You want me to be this dude that I am not!”

Girl loves boy, wants to marry boy, boy pushes girl away but there is something real there that deserves closer examination. By the time the trailer ends my interested is not only whetted but I am genuinely concerned to know where things will go with not only these people but what the chair really has to do with everything else.

LITTLE MAN (2006)

Director: Michael Cuesta
Cast: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Tracy Morgan
Release: July 5, 2006
Synopsis: A wannabe dad (Shawn Wayans) mistakes a vertically challenged criminal on the lam (Marlon Wayans) as his newly adopted son.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. So, on my way to see ICE AGE 2 with the fam I saw the lobby display for LITTLE MAN. I’m no expert and I don’t purport to know such things but the line on the standee proclaiming this new film is from the same dudes who brought us WHITE CHICKS is not one I would choose to use willingly, publicly.

I had the sharp misfortune of watching a part of WHITE CHICKS and I am positive you do not want people to know you’re the masterminds behind that movie. Absolutely positive.

Keenen Ivory Wayans, a true comedic talent who brought us I’M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA and In Living Color when it didn’t suck so much, is the guy behind the directorial lens and I don’t see any mention of this guy’s work which is a little disappointing. That said, though, this movie disturbs me a little.

When we start out the Voiceover Guy talks about a world of crime and for some reason I guess the phrase “world of crime” means being shown a static shot of a prison cell. I don’t know what one has to do with the other but it’s odd. Next, we get Marlon Wayans, a really solid actor when placed into a film like REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, starring in a weird amalgam of a kid and midget. I don’t think I can overstate that it looks weird, really weird.

Tracy Morgan comes in to help play the straight man in the beginning of this trailer as Morgan helps to boost a car that already has a Denver Boot attached to it. Ha ha, very funny, I know, but Marlon tries to play up this whole ruse as best he can, him being this mutant midget of sorts. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to be freaked out by this or that we’re supposed to take it at face value but when Tracy and Marlon go into a jewelry store to boost a diamond, with Marlon being transported via a duffel bag, I’m not sure whether to be insulted that we’re supposed to believe this or think it’s hilarious that this is going on.

I’m honestly torn because some part of me is laughing on the inside while another part of me is glued to the screen as I try to figure out why this looks so freaky.

Long story very short, the guys have to recover the very same diamond Marlon stole just a few moments ago as Marlon ditched it in some woman’s bag. Sooooo”¦Marlon is placed in a basket and pretends to be a baby to infiltrate the household.

I’m still reeling as I try and come to terms with my sense of humor on this one. Supposing that this is the accepted norm I am at least comforted by comedian Fred Stoller’s comments that the kid is adorable in a, “National Geographic sort of way.”

The trailer, for the most part, hits the notes that it has to in order to sell this as a goofy comedy: you’ve got physical humor as you have Shawn and Marlon drinking warm milk only to discover it’s breast milk; you’ve got the obligatory nut shot when Marlon swings for the fences during a game of Wiffle Ball; you’ve got about as close as you’re going to get with a fart joke as there is a struggle to apply a rectal thermometer to Marlon; and there’s the whole wife/mistaken identity situation that has been done before in other flicks and has been rehashed here for our pleasure.

I don’t think I am as willing to break bad on this flick as I am absolutely positive that I’m not going to see it. It doesn’t look like my kind of funny but, for some, this might be just the right thing for people come July. These people being, of course, those who thought that WHITE CHICKS wasn’t a complete disaster that begged the question, “What in the hell did I just allow my eyes to witness?”

THE HOLIDAY (2006)

Director: Nancy Meyers
Cast: Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black
Release: December 8, 2006
Synopsis: Two women troubled with guy-problems (Diaz, Winslet) swap homes in each other’s countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Seriously. Burn this film before others are infected.

Tripe, crap, bollocks and everything other adjective one can find to describe something savagely mediocre is, perhaps, the most succinct way of stating how I feel about this trailer.

Right off the bat I’ll start with the one kudo: “Cold Hands, Warm Heart” by Brandon Bensen is misappropriated at the mid-way point to give this trailer a jingly jangly kind of soundtrack and, since I’m a fan of the song, I am alternatively disappointed we’re given nothing but lameness to set the music to.

Now, I’ve given stellar comments about romantic comedies but, I believe, the reason why this one falls short is that from the very beginning we’re not given much to really grab onto that’s fresh or original.

To wit: we start with Kate Winslet speaking in rapid Olde English about being the pin pump cushion for a random man interested in just stealing some poon while, essentially, being engaged to another woman. Oh, poor Kate.

Next moment? Cameron Diaz confronts Edward Burns about being unfaithful. Ed admits that he has. Cameron punches Ed in the face. Oh, poor Cameron.

We’re a quarter way through the trailer and I am scratching my eyes for something interesting. I get Brandon’s musical interlude, and I get excited, but all I get for my troubles is a plot about some fake international program where you AGREE to trade your home, car, everything, to someone from another country. It’s amazingly insane that we get Cameron’s “inner dialogue” in full audio about stating the What-if premise right out in the open. For those who know a thing or two about comedy the essential What-If element is always implied but I don’t think it’s never been so forced, so out in the open as when Cameron’s fake misery sets up her eventual “trade” with Kate’s place in cold England for Christmas. This moment in the trailer really is representative of everything that’s wretched about poorly made romantic comedies.

All is not lost, however, as Cameron, in all her ignorance, wears her finest leathers and high heels in the wackiest FUNNY FARM-kind of moment: she’s unprepared to deal with the shocking conditions of snow, ice and a driveway that’s at least a mile long all the while lugging a suitcase and valise, wackily, through it all. It’s inane and for anyone here that finds this moment amusing, you must be part of the female demographic this movie is obviously pandering to.

“From Nancy Meyers”¦The director of SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE and WHAT WOMEN WANT”

Nancy, do you realize I had to see both of these movies? Forced to see these movies. You know what I found out about what gives and what chicks really want? Softball plots, dialogue dripping with enough estrogen for me to grow a pair of hooters like Bob from FIGHT CLUB and situations so skewed towards the improbable that the flicks should be reassigned to the Science Fiction section of my local video superstore.

Now, we progress further. Initially we get the vibe that Cameron is so done with dudes but, we come to find out, as soon as Jude Law comes into the picture, literally, he’s essentially panty peeler for the Englishman.

The trailer boggles the mind as, when Jack Black comes into Kate Winslet’s world, we shift violently to her, sorta, getting her groove on with the other chubby member of Tenacious D. I don’t know whether I don’t believe Jack’s ability to help carry the notion of being an attractive enough dude for ladies to woo Kate or if his pseudo-intellectualism that’s throwing me off. I also know that his place in this film couldn’t have been more glossed over in a hurry. Is he or isn’t he a love interest? I’m not given enough to go on.

It’s no matter, though, because I couldn’t be more eager for this movie to come and go out of the movie theaters. Pure saccharine awfulness.

SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)

Director: Sam Raimi
Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dylan Baker, Elizabeth Banks
Release: May 4, 2007
Synopsis: A specimen from the moon gives Spider-man new powers and a black suit, while Spider-man must battle the second Green Goblin, Sandman, Venom, and other dangers.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive.

By the time the first installment of SPIDER-MAN was released I was deeply enmeshed in that film’s marketing campaign.

From the initial teaser, that was all but removed from the collective conscience because of the events of 9/11 from the use of the twin towers, to the full trailer that drove home every notion that Rami got it right that campaign synergized everything about that movie succinctly and perfectly.

Now I’m given this. I’ve been given this and I don’t know what to make of it.

Initially, though, this piece acts just as it should for a teaser: you’ve got barely a whiff of the concoction that is the final film, it’s more about words than it is images or clips and you’ve got a heavy handed score to back it all up.

The first ¼ of this trailer is just fine. You’ve got that wicked font that has been this franchise’s hallmark, personally I would’ve gone with Wingding 10pt, we’re led on an electronic rendering of Spidey’s costume which brings up a curious point: wouldn’t it have been that much more exciting to even have this very same sequence done with the real costume? Jeez, you could’ve put Verne Troyer in it and had the same number of close-ups with the end result being a bang, pow, eye-grabber.

Oh well, we plod on”¦

And then you give it to me, nearly halfway through the trailer you give me the goods and it is splendiferous. The black costume, the score behind it, the gloomy/rainy environment? Perfect in every way. This is the kind of cock tease that gets fanboys and nerds scurrying home to their basement lairs inside their parents’ homes just to start chatting away about what comic arc this story is going to be told from. Personally, I liked Bendis’ recent foray into how Parker could’ve been used as a test experiment which ultimately leads to the black suit and I am also partially fond of McFarlane’s take waaay back in the 90’s as I think, from a aesthetic standpoint, lord knows it wasn’t because of his dedication to accuracy from a physiological stance, seems like he was taking lessons at times from the Liefeld School of How to Draw Good. But see what happens? This kind of nerd postulation starts to happen and that’s a great thing to be able and do simply by the introduction of a black painted suit.

Well done.

I mean even as Spider-Man drops from a wicked height, his body positioning, his arms, his hands, all speak to the character that really hasn’t been given its due honors as a formidable element to the Parker universe. And, this too, makes my pants fit a little snugger.

James Franco, Topher Grace (who deserves more props than his mildly retarded cast member, Ashton Kutcher, as the real reason That 70’s Show was a solid show), Kirsten Dunst all make their obligatory face cameos which help to move this teaser along quicker than really it should; this is a good thing as, usually, you don’t even a fraction of what’s given so I feel blessed.

The eye candy explodes from every which direction: you get the Sandman doing his thing, you see how the symbiote attaches itself to Spider-Man’s costume, Thomas Hayen Church’s visage pops up, along with the Green Goblin version 2.0 and then a screeching “Huh?” with Parker’s alter-ego looking like he got his hair cut at Adolf Hitler’s Salon and Nail Barn. I mean I get it but it just looks like an obvious move to show how the evil alter-ego is making its way into Tobey’s life.

 

Weekend Shopping Guide 7/14/06: Going Medieval

Filed under: Shopping Guides — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:08 am

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Not only has prep for Comic-Con been swamping things here at the Stop, but your editor has also come dangerously close to blowing out his ear drum thanks to the not-so-fun combination of an inner-ear infection and a cross-country flight. But enough of that… The IV is dripping antibiotics, and we’ve got a show to do…

Prior to his recent examination of the true history of the peoples we’ve come to know by the Greco-Roman term “Barbarians”, Terry Jones exploded the myths of the Middle Ages via Terry Jones’ Medieval Lives (BBC Books, $14.95 SRP), which has just been released in paperback form. With writing partner Alan Ereira, Jones deconstructs the false representation of the medieval period that was begun in the Renaissance and solidified in the 19th century, dealing with everything from Knights and Damsels in Distress to Mercenaries, Minstrels, and the idea that they thought the world was flat (they didn’t, by the way – it was a 19th century myth created by American writer Washington Irving). A great read.

One of the many staples of my misbegotten childhood was evenings spent watching the classic, newly-launched version of Nickelodeon’s “Nick at Nite” line-up well into the wee hours. One of the shows featured quite prominently in that evening-into-morning viewing was Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP), a take-off on the spy genre and Get Smart, but featuring an entirely simian cast… Yes, real chimps (you could never get away with it today). Kitschy fun, you can now own 12 swingin’ episodes in this 2-disc set.

Amongst all the sadly misbegotten misfires in the Masters of Horror anthology, Joe Dante’s entry – Homecoming (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$16.98 SRP) – is the only one that seems to have had any really thought towards telling a genuinely thrilling, and thought-provoking, tale. The basic premise is that, on the eve of a Presidential election, the incumbent Republican administration is afraid that their very unpopular – and very costly – overseas war will scuttle their hopes for a second term. They idly wish that some of those surely patriotic war dead could somehow testify to what a good cause the administration was fighting for – not reckoning that the soldiers will actually start rising from the dead… and begin voting. Yeah, you heard me. The disc features audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, and more.

Irwin Allen’s Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea returns with the second half of the show’s first season (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), featuring another 16 episodes chock full of the Seaview’s deep sea adventures. Bonus features include a blooper reel and David Heddison interviews. I just wish Fox would get it through their thick heads – like every studio has – to STOP USING DOUBLE-SIDED DISCS. Crikey, people, come on!

The docs, nurses, and staff of County General return in the fifth season of ER (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), featuring the swan song of Clooney’s Dr. Ross, the rise of Dr. Carter, and the arrival of med student Lucy Knight. In addition to all 22 episodes, the 6-disc set features unaired scenes and the always welcome gag reel.

It’s interesting how different the comedy of I Dream of Jeannie plays in its second season (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP), as it made the transition from black & white to glorious color. Jeannie is one of those shows that cries out for color, as the 60’s began to blossom in technicolor brilliance and TV was pulled along with it, filled with fantasies of witches and monsters and genies.

The massive, nearly 400-page Who’s Who in Animated Cartoons (Applause Books, $19.95 SRP) certainly lives up to its title, featuring entries on scores of animators, animation directors, and animation producers. This a handy, essential resource covering the international animation scene, and is a must-have considering the bargain price.

Like an endearingly British cross between Quincy and CSI, McCallum (Koch, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) stars Jack Hannah as Dr. Iain McCallum, a pathologist solving cases based on forensics. What really makes the series – all 9 episodes of which are featured in this 5-disc set – is Hannah’s performance… Truly a thing of greatness.

It takes a great filmmaker to make auto racing in the least bit interesting to me, but John Frankenheimer managed that none-too-small feat with Grand Prix (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$20.98 SRP), starring James Garner as a Formula 1 racer out to capture the championship, and featuring brilliant split-screen work to show multiple points of view and keep viewers right there on the track. The new 2-disc special edition features remastered picture and sound, four new making-of documentaries, and a vintage featurette.

When faced with sudden widowhood and poverty, Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) decides to do whatever she can to support her kids and their middle-class suburban lifestyle, including entering the workforce. Her rather unorthodox choice of careers, though, is as a marijuana dealer. Sly and satirical, Weeds (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) is like a cross between Traffic and Reefer Madness, with just a little touch of Desperate Housewives. The 2-disc first season set features all 10 episodes plus audio commentaries, a mockumentary, behind-the-scenes snippets, and more.

The brief 18-episode run of The Ellen Show (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP) finds its star in a state of flux following the unfortunate flameout of her once great eponymous sitcom, which is a true shame considering what a brilliant comic delivery Degeneres has. Returning to her hometown to receive an award, she finds nothing has changed – from her teacher Mom to the unfortunate romantic choices of her sister – and is stranded when her LA dotcom goes bust. As you can guess, comedy ensues.

Who knew Jamie Kennedy could do stand-up? Well, he can, and if you spin Jamie Kennedy Unwashed: The Stand-Up Special (Image, Not Rated, DVD-$14.99 SRP), you’ll be as amazed as I was that he’s actually quite funny. The disc is also loaded with bonus features.

Phish fans will delight in the 2-disc release of Phish: Live in Brooklyn (Rhino, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), recorded at Keyspan Park on June 17th, 2004. The set features 21 performances, excerpts from the sound check, backstage footage, and 3 additional performances from the following night.

If you’re in the mood for serviceable horror on a low budget with an all-star cast of genre b-listers, look no further than the fine folks at Anchor Bay, whose latest is The Garden (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP), starring Claudia Christian, Lance Henriksen, Sean Young, and a mysterious ranch where nightmares come to life. Brrrr. Scary. The disc feature audio commentary with director Don Michael Paul, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and the theatrical trailer.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

Noctural Admissions: Books, The The Famous Movie Monster Art of Basil Gogos

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:19 am

 

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To everyone else in American the magazine artist they looked forward to was Norman Rockwell in the Saturday Evening Post. But like a few thousand sick and twisted horror fan kids around the country my “Rockwell” was Basil Gogos. He did the covers for most of Jim Warren and Forrest J. Ackerman’s magazine, Famous Monsters of Filmland. In fact, looking back, I have to say that the best thing about the mag was the covers; the insides were on cheap newsprint and featured stories that were mostly excuses for horrific puns. 

Gogos was a mainstream magazine “super realist,” like Rockwell. But he also had a vivid sense of color, and a flair for the dramatic pose. I love his cover image of Gorgo, with its rich deep midnight blue background, for example.

Gogos cover

Now, thanks to the new book Famous Monster Movie Art Of Basil Gogos (Vanguard, 160 pages,$24.95, ISBN: 1 88759 171 0), I am suddenly aware that Gogos, who is still alive, permeated the whole of pop culture, including work for men’s adventure magazines, book covers, and movie posters, and I know a lot more about how Gogos did his art. This oversized paperback is a career survey of Gogos, with many fine reproductions and a fine if somewhat cursory biography. Vanguard specializes in books on artists, including 

NY cityscape by Gogos

 

Basil GogosI say cursory because there is no mention (that I could find, anyway) of the terrible tensions between Warren and Ackerman. But then, they may have been irrelevant to Gogos’s work for the publication. On the other hand, there is a lot of detail about Gogos’s covers and interior illustrations for many men’s magazines, an unknown terrain to most readers. The book is written by Kerry Gammill and J. David Spurlock, with an intro by Rob Zombie. It tracks Gogos from the 1950s when he was an up and coming commercial artist, through the Warren and mens’ mag years, to now, when he does special private commissions, works on charcoal and the occasional cover. There are extensive quotes from Gogos, who says at one point that his career making alliance with Warren was formed because no one else at the agency where he worked and which Warren contacted “was cut out for it, or cared to do it.”

There are also numerous testimonials from fellow artists. James Bama, for one, who did the Doc Savage paperback covers, said of Gogos that his work is “second to none,” which is high praise indeed. And there is also lots of detail about Gogos’s technique, from his imaginary quartet of colored lights which sometimes gave his subjects the hues of a Francis Bacon, to his transition from dyes to watercolors to casein to acrylics. He even experimented with silkscreens, long after the medium had been dropped by everyone else, but which for him led to some great covers, such as for the the cast of Tales of Terror.

Gogos Spaceman cover

The book is loaded with tidbits. For example, I learned that both Gogos and Bama used the same model, a guy named Steve Holland. The stolidly handsome Holland was both a thousand adventurers in men’s mags for Gogos, and Doc Savage for Bama. It’s too bad that when they came to make a movie of Doc Savage they didn’t use Holland, who as it happens already was an actor, appearing as Flash Gordon on TV.

 

Melonpool Quickcast #4: Getting Ready for Comic-Con

Filed under: Melonpool Quickcast — admin @ 3:15 am
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-By Steve Troop

Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

Ralph and Mayberry attend to some last-minute details before San Diego Comic-Con International July 20-23. See you at Booth #1330!

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Melonpool Quickcast #3: Ralph Strikes Back!:

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Scrubs Blog: Week 31 – My Sweet Charity

Filed under: Quickcasts,Scrubs Blog — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:38 am

 

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Before we get to this week’s entry, let me mention that you should be sure to check back each week for more Scrubs goodies, even during the summer hiatus”¦

VIDEO BLOG #56: “My Sweet Charity” ““
In support of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, a Scrubs Scooter is being raffled off on October 7th. Tickets for the auction can be purchased online right now for $5.00, with all the money going to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Watch the first behind-the-scenes look at the creation of the scooter, and then head over to the site and enter by CLICKING HERE

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Download/Watch Scrubs Video Blog #56:     

      

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Comics in Context #137: Car Toon

Filed under: Comics in Context — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:30 am

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cic-20060714-01.jpgIt’s little wonder that watching films on DVD at home grows more popular as the theatergoing experience becomes ever more annoying. Now there’s an irritating series of onscreen commercials (Wasn’t the lack of commercials one of the advantages movies had over TV?), which eventually gives way to an parade of trailers, most of which work to reassure me that I don’t want to see the forthcoming movies in question. 

But the trailers preceding the new Pixar computer animated feature Cars served a very useful purpose. There were a total of five, count “˜em, five trailers for future computer animated films. First came the promos for Open Season, Barnyard, and The Ant Bully, each of which made its movie look ugly, frenetic, and utterly unfunny. And what’s with the cows in Barnyard? My fellow columnist Fred Hembeck refuses to accept the notion of talking animals, apart from Barksian ducks and superstar sponges. I take a more liberal stance, but cows that have both udders and male voices exceed even my capacity for suspension of disbelief. Just what were these moviemakers thinking? Next came the trailer for Disney’s Meet the Robinsons, which was visually stylish and striking. Finally, there was a trailer for the next Pixar feature, Brad Bird’s Ratatouille, which not only looked good but was bursting with energy.

In short, this succession of trailers served as a reminder that Pixar’s films are far and away superior to the many wannabe CGI animated movies that have proliferated in imitation. It’s also a reminder of why the Disney company not only recently bought Pixar, but also put John Lasseter, the head of Pixar and director of Toy Story and Cars, in charge of Disney animation as well.

Cars depicts a world in which sentient, talking automobiles fill the roles taken by human beings in the real world. There are no actual humans or even animals to be seen: other motor vehicles act like cows, and tiny, winged Volkswagen “bugs” act like flies. New York Times film critic Manohla Dargis chooses to find this eerie, decrying “the story’s underlying creepiness, which comes down to the fact that there’s nothing alive here: nada, zip. “ (June 9, 2006). But as I discussed in last week’s column, follows an old animation tradition of creating a community of non-human creatures in order to comment upon human behavior. Pixar’s superb character animators bring ‘ cars vividly to life. Dargis insists that “the film can’t help but bring to mind James Cameron’s dystopic masterpiece, , which hinges on the violent war of the machine world on its human masters. . . . Mr. Lasseter has done Mr. Cameron one better: instead of blowing the living world into smithereens, these machines have just gassed it with carbon monoxide.” So, if Dargis read Carl Barks’s , would she imagine some sort of combination and Holocaust scenario in which intelligent ducks had exterminated and supplanted humanity?Dargis and New Yorker critic Anthony Lane also attack Cars on the grounds of political correctness. Dargis contends that “An animated fable about happy cars might have made sense before gas hit three bucks a gallon.” Lane thunders that “With the price of oil gurgling upward, and even the President conceding that the nation’s fuel consumption could use a trim, Pixar has produced a hymn to the ecstasy of driving” (June 19, 2006). Did either of these critics stop to think that it takes years to create a computer animated feature film, and that when they worked on Cars (which originally was scheduled for release in 2005), Lasseter and his cohorts could not have predicted the price of gas or the content of presidential speeches in the summer of 2006? And do such real life concerns matter in Lasseter’s fable? If Dargis and Lane saw a Tom and Jerry cartoon, would they complain that we shouldn’t root for the mouse because mice are actually disease-carrying vermin?

As Dargis and Lane demonstrate, it would be a mistake to examine the premise of Cars too closely. How could a race of sentient cars originate? In other words, who built them? Before I saw the movie, I wondered how the Pixar people could get around the fact that the characters of Cars have no hands. One might wonder how they constructed the buildings, the roads, the television cameras, and the spare automobile parts we see in the film. But none of this matters, any more than one should wonder how talking bipedal mice that are several feet tall evolved in a Mickey Mouse cartoon.

The less literal minded viewers of Cars, which is to say, virtually all of them, will automatically accept the animation storytelling convention that the talking cars are humans in all but outward form. In effect, Cars is set in a fictional alternate reality in which, somehow, a society of cars evolved in ways that parallel human society. One simply accepts the premise of Cars and then marvels at how entertainingly Lasseter and company have designed their alternate reality.

Even Fred Hembeck has personally assured me that, presuming Pixar handled the premise with sufficient artistry, he would have no problem with the concept of talking automobiles in Cars. He has a more sensible attitude towards the subject than these film critics of The New York Times and The New Yorker. As we shall see, movie reviewers in mainstream media have taken some other odd approaches to critiquing Cars.

I hereby issue a Spoiler Alert, since I am about to summarize the story of the film. Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson, and obviously named after actor Steve McQueen, who had a passion for racing) is a young race car who is driven (so to speak) wholly by ambition and egotism. On the way to his next big race in Los Angeles, McQueen finds himself stuck in Radiator Springs, a small desert town that prospered in the 1950s, but has been in decline ever since the building of a superhighway diverted traffic away from it. Having thoughtlessly caused damage to the town’s main street, McQueen is sentenced to remain there until he finishes repaving the road.

At first McQueen bridles at being forced to perform this penance. But as his stay in Radiator Springs continues, his attitude changes.

This formerly self-centered loner gets a new best friend, in the form of a tow truck named Mater (voiced by the comedian known as Larry the Cable Guy). Mater explains that his name is a pun on “tomato”: he is a tow truck, so he’s called Mater. (So much for my initial reaction on first seeing this character’s name months ago, without knowing what he looked like, or that he was male. Having taken a course in Latin at Harvard decades ago, I knew that “mater” was Latin for “mother.” I suppose this is further proof of the decline of the classics in American literature.) Through his warmth and friendliness towards McQueen (who does not initially deserve it), Mater sets an example for the egocentric race car. Mater also proves to be a mentor of sorts, showing McQueen how to loosen up and have fun (as in a cow-tipping scene featuring the bovine local vehicles that substitute for cattle).

McQueen also gains a more serious mentor, “Doc” Hudson, who is voiced by Paul Newman, another actor who has raced cars both onscreen and offscreen, and who, moreover, first achieved stardom in the 1950s, a significant decade in the world of this film, as well as the last full decade of Hollywood’s (and the Walt Disney animation studio’s) Golden Age. “Doc” is an example of the stern mentor/father figure who initially imposes harsh discipline on the protagonist for his own good. Other examples range from the tough sergeants of military movies to the senseis of Kill Bill and Batman Beyond, who at first force the heroes to act as lowly servants. It is “Doc” Hudson who confines McQueen to Radiator Springs and sentences him to pave the road, a task which at first appears Sisyphean.

McQueen also finds true love in Radiator Springs, in the form of Sally, a Porsche (voiced by Pixar veteran voice actress Bonnie Hunt), who, significantly, is also originally from the big city. She has already made a transition in life similar to the one McQueen is undergoing: she grew dissatisfied with her stressful life as a high-powered lawyer in the city, and found contentment as a member of this small town community. Sally too becomes a teacher to McQueen, introducing him not only to love, but to the splendors of the natural world surrounding the town.

On his website animation historian Michael Barrier pointed out a seeming contradiction: “The two characters admiring the barren landscape are not only computer-generated but are themselves machines – a bright-red race car and a gleaming Porsche, cars that can think and talk. A film synthetic in every detail is admonishing us to relish the natural world.” (http:// michaelbarrier.com) It may seem odd that a movie whose cast is comprised of machines should be a hymn to nature, but then again, the cars are not really more alien to the natural world than the urbanized humans they represent.

At the beginning of the film, psyching himself up for a major race, McQueen egotistically tells himself, “I am speed.” In Radiator Springs he learns to change his whole value system: the singleminded pursuit of success is no longer as important to him as love and friendship and responsibility towards others. Initially McQueen was like an overgrown infant, who believes that the world exists only to serve his own desires; his stay in Radiator Springs shows him the necessity of reaching out beyond his own ego. “Doc” Hudson initially forces McQueen to slow down by draining his fuel tank so he cannot leave the town. As the story progresses McQueen comes to voluntarily choose to slow down and smell the roses.

Another of the criticisms leveled against Cars is that the film itself is too slow. Online reviewer James Berardinelli wrote, “The flaws in Cars relate to how younger viewers will see the film – it’s a little too long and a little too slow. While adults may not mind sitting through “˜filler,’ children, with their notoriously short attention spans, may become restless.” I often suspect that when an adult claims to imagine children’s reactions, he is actually voicing his own. So it is here: Berardinelli soon comes right out and states that “there are times when the pace is sluggish….”

I disagree. Having read such reviews before seeing the movie, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Cars consists of a steady progression of dramatically effective incidents, with no dead spots. The audience with whom I saw the movie was full of family groups, and it is true that the small children became noisier during longer dialogue scenes between McQueen and Sally. But that would be true of pre-pubescent children’s reactions to any romantic interludes in a movie. Another of the surprises in Cars is that it is the first Pixar feature that has a genuine love story, and that it works so well. That’s especially impressive in that the animators and character designers could not do all that much to make Sally, who is, after all, a car, look like an attractive female human. But, aided greatly by Hunt’s voice, Sally becomes an effective romantic lead, nonetheless. (Do female viewers feel that McQueen comes off as an attractive male lead, I wonder?) I wouldn’t want to sacrifice this love story just because small kids might briefly lose interest.

Besides, the children never became bored: once the comedy or action resumed, they were once again rapt with attention. Moreover, if the romantic subplot is aimed more at adults, watching Cars with a family audience made me aware of how effectively the character of Mater is aimed at those same small children. Mater comes across as a 21st century version of Goofy in the guise of an anthropomorphic tow truck: children loudly and gleefully responded to his antics. Mater is really an overgrown child himself, playful, innocently trusting, and attempting to bond with McQueen as if he were a little brother looking for a big brother to admire.

Plenty happens in the course of McQueen’s stay in Radiator Springs, but these character-driven scenes are quiet and low-key compared with the car race which opens the film. At first we see the racing cars as merely blurs, as if Lasseter is already signaling the audience that these cars are moving too fast for the human eye to comfortably take in. Perhaps inspired by car race films like John Frankenheimer’s Grand Prix (1966) or maybe even the chariot race in Ben-Hur (1959), this rapidly-paced, dynamically directed sequence evokes the experiences both of watching a NASCAR race and being a participant in it. The audience in the stands consists of hundreds upon hundreds of anthropomorphic cars: this makes it immediately clear to the viewers that this is a world where cars fill the roles that people have in our own. The high velocities of the racers and the countless cars in the stands combine to create an epic feel for this opening scene.

Lasseter and Pixar have accomplished something daring with Cars‘ story structure here. According to Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey” pattern for stories, the protagonist starts out in a lowly position in the mundane, everyday world, and then crosses into an enchanted realm of adventure, where he finds the treasure with which he can redeem society, and then crosses back into the everyday world. In Cars‘ variation on this theme, McQueen starts out as a star performer in a world of adventure, that of professional racing, only to cross into the seemingly prosaic confines of Radiator Springs, where he is reduced to the role of prisoner and forced laborer.

Early on McQueen refers to Radiator Springs as “hillbilly hell.” It’s actually more like purgatory for him, in which he must expiate his past sins to achieve redemption. In Joseph Campbell’s terms, McQueen has figuratively descended into the underworld. But that’s only true from McQueen’s initial point of view. As McQueen falls in love with Sally, makes friends with the cars of Radiator Springs, and learns to appreciate the beauty of the natural world around him, his perspective on this “hillbilly hell” changes. It instead becomes the enchanted realm of Campbell’s “hero’s journey.” McQueen’s real adventure becomes his psychological transformation in Radiator Springs.

 

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McQueen and the movie’s audience come to regard the thrills of the opening racing sequence, and its participants’ pursuit of fame and fortune, as empty in comparison with the more humane values they discover in Radiator Springs. Hence, when McQueen returns to the urban racing world in the movie’s third act, his perspective on it soon alters. He comes to feel out of place there, at least until he takes a more humane approach to the competition. 

Another of the charges that critics make against Cars is that it recycles a hoary, cliched plot from previous movies: that of the guy from the big city who undergoes a change of personality when he stays in a small town. The supposed source that these reviewers keep invoking is the movie Doc Hollywood. That set me wondering: if this basic plot is so familiar, shouldn’t there be a lot of other movies that use it? Can’t these reviewers think of several other examples besides Doc Hollywood?

I’ve only seen part of Doc Hollywood on television, but I’ve seen nearly three thousand movies (not counting animated shorts) in the course of my life. If Cars has such an overused plot, then surely I must have seen plenty of other movies with similar stories.

But no, there haven’t been that many. I can easily cite films in which the man from the big city does not learn his lesson in the small town, whether played for comedy, in George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart’s The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942), or as a thriller, in Alfred Hitchcock and Thornton Wilder’s Shadow of a Doubt (1943). In David Mamet’s State and Main (2000) a movie company comes to shoot in a small New England town: the screenwriter is changed by falling in love with a local, but the rest of the moviemakers remain mired in their character flaws. Leo McCarey’s Ruggles of Red Gap (1935) transplants the title character, a British butler, to a small town in the western United States, but this story is more about Ruggles’ discovery of a classless society (compared to the United Kingdom) than about the pleasures of small town life. Two musicals which moved from Broadway to the big screen clearly follow the model of the urban man who learns about community, responsibility and love when he finds himself in a provincial milieu: the Gershwins’ Girl Crazy (1943) and Meredith Willson’s The Music Man (1962).

But then there is Frank Capra’s film adaptation of James Hilton’s novel Lost Horizon (1937), in which Western city dwellers are marooned in the hidden, peaceful Himalayan realm of Shangri-La. Entertainment Weekly critic Lisa Schwarzbaum seems to have noticed the parallel, too: in her review of Cars she wrote of its setting, “imaginary, iconic Radiator Springs Ñ a dusty Shangri-La out of Happy Days“ (June 13, 2006). Although they are initially anxious to get back to Western civilization, most of the travelers who are brought to Shangri-La in Capra’s movie end up renouncing the rat race of the outside world and embracing their new lives as members of the community of this earthly paradise.

This movie, released two years before the outbreak of World War II, explicitly presents Shangri-La as a sanctuary in which the best of human civilization will be preserved while the rest of the world is at war. You may have noticed in the previous paragraph how many of those movies about small town life came out during the wartime years of the early 1940s. Whether or not this was Lasseter’s intention, is Cars another sort of post-9/11 movie, presenting small-town community life as an idealized escape from the stresses of an urban world menaced by terrorism?

(Comics enthusiasts should note that Capra’s Lost Horizon appears to have been an influence on Stan Lee and Steve Ditko’s Doctor Strange: the Ancient One may have been inspired by Lost Horizon‘s High Lama, and, as drawn by Ditko, Strange even looked like the film’s star, Ronald Colman, complete with the latter’s trademark mustache.)

Lost Horizon presents a Western idealized version of Asian philosophy. There may be an actual Asian influence on from the films of Lasseter’s friend and hero, Japanese animation director Hayao Miyazaki. Earlier this year Lasseter even co-hosted a retrospective of Miyazaki’s films on Turner Classic Movies.Among them was Only Yesterday (1991), directed by Isai Takahata and produced by Miyazaki, in which a young woman, who has been leading her life and career in the big city, returns to the countryside where she grew up, reevaluates her life, and falls in love with a farmer, whose life and work are connected to the world of nature.

Another was Spirited Away (2001), directed and written by Miyazaki, in which the protagonist, a self-centered little girl, is forced to labor in a bathhouse used by monstrous beings of the spirit world; in the course of her servitude, she learns to take responsibility, and to care for and help others, and bonds with a potential love interest. How different is this heroine’s penance in cleaning up in the spirits’ bathhouse from the lowly labors of Cars’ protagonist Lightning McQueen, who is sentenced to pave a road that he earlier ruined?

Miyazaki’s films famously advocate harmony between man and the natural world. In his introductions to TCM’s Miyazaki retrospective, Lasseter commended Miyazaki’s ability to create sequences in which the action slows, and the audience is invited to admire the beauty onscreen. Surely the treatment of the natural world, and specifically McQueen and Sally’s excursion through the countryside surrounding Radiator Springs, represent Lasseter’s attempts to translate Miyazakian themes into an American setting. How interesting that movie reviewers praise Miyazaki’s contemplative style (perhaps because his films are foreign) but find Lasseter to be “sluggish” and sentimental when he tries something similar.

Strangely, Lasseter and Pixar have been accused by critics of hypocrisy in Cars. David Ansen in Newsweek (June 12, 2006) wrote that “In this nostalgic paean to small towns, the villain is the high-tech interstate that put a wedge between us and nature. The irony is that this elegy for the antique comes from the computerized company that has relegated hand-drawn animation to the dustbin. If anyone knows that the old ways are not always the best, it’s the folks who have boldly taken animation into the 21st century.”

Critic Anthony Lane made the same point In The New Yorker with more corrosive irony: “Along came the Interstate, apparently, and ruined everything. Just like that darned Internet, I guess, or that superhighway stuff, or those dumb movies they make with computers nowadays. Oh yes.”

In his review in New York Magazine, David Edelstein recognized that Lasseter’s nostalgia is not a recent development: “Like the Toy Story films, Cars is a state-of-the-computer-art plea on behalf of outmoded, wholesome fifties technology, with a dash of Zen by way of George Lucas.”

Lest we forget: in Lasseter’s first feature film, Toy Story (1995), Woody, the old-fashioned cowboy doll (voiced by Tom Hanks), worries that he has been replaced in his young owner’s affections by the new space hero action figure Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Tim Allen). Initially, Woody and Buzz are rivals, perhaps even enemies. But Toy Story turns out to be a buddy movie, and Woody and Buzz become allies and best friends. Moreover, the boy who owns them loves both toys, so Woody’s fear that he had been rendered obsolete proves to be baseless.

Toy Story 2 (1999), directed by Lasseter and Lee Unkrich, takes a different approach to the idea of being outdated. This film explicitly establishes Woody as a toy that was created in the 1950s, when a “Woody” character starred on his own television show. (Perhaps Lasseter was thinking of the iconic 1950s TV puppet Howdy Doody, who was supposed to be a cowboy.) Take note that this is the same decade that is idealized in . In this movie Woody is tempted by the idea of joining dolls of other cast members from the television show, including cowgirl Jessie, in a community of collectibles. Instead of being played with by kids, Woody and company would simply remain untouched, in pristine condition, in the collection of an adult who conforms to the obese, overage fanboy stereotype familiar from Comic Book Guy on . Lasseter rejects this option, too, and Woody returns to his boy owner’s community of toys, bringing his horse and Jessie with him. 

It is said that for the projected Toy Story 3, the conclusion of his trilogy, Lasseter has in mind a “happier ever after” denouement for his toy characters. Since, the boy who owns Woody and Buzz would eventually outgrow them, this planned ending would presumably explain how they don’t end up in a junk heap. It will be intriguing to see what Lasseter comes up with.

You can even find the nostalgia theme in the animated feature film that Lasseter and Andrew Stanton jointly directed, A Bug’s Life (1998), about talking insects. Here it is an old-fashioned troupe of carnival performers who aid the ant hero, Flik, in defeating the militaristic forces of the marauding grasshoppers.

No critic whose review of Cars I’ve read indicates that he or she attended the Museum of Modern Art’s recent exhibition marking Pixar’s twentieth anniversary (see “Comics in Context” #120). In wall texts, an exhibition brochure, the audio guide, and video, its MoMA curators and Lasseter himself made clear that the show was intended “to dispel the notion that computer animation is a genre dominated by technology.” Rather, the exhibition demonstrated that Pixar’s creators used the same methods in developing ideas for their films as the practitioners of traditional hand-drawn animation had for decades. The show centered on Pixar’s concept drawings and paintings, sculptures of characters, and storyboards, which would be done by hand.

Thus, whether in his feature films or in a MoMA exhibit, Lasseter continually deals with the theme of reconciling the past with the changing present. He is the great pioneer of computer animation, and yet he is careful to show that he is building on the foundation established by traditional hand-drawn animation, and to argue that hand-drawn animation remains a viable artform and should not be abandoned.

Did no film critic notice the thematic similarities between Cars and another movie that was released on the same day (June 9th), A Prairie Home Companion, directed by Robert Altman and written by Garrison Keillor, based on his celebrated radio show? The latter movie is also a tale of passing times and obsolete technology. We are informed at the outset that Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion, the country music radio show within the movie, is a half century behind the times: radio variety shows of its sort disappeared fifty years ago. (Once again: the 1950s.) In the movie Keillor refuses to publicly acknowledge that this is his final broadcast, and the singers and musicians give a vivid, entertaining performance. But nonetheless an executive from the corporation who has bought the radio station that owns the show has arrived to shut it down. A beautiful and charming blonde lady in white, who turns out to be an angel of Death, takes care of the executive, but fate cannot be altered, and the corporation still shuts down the radio show. (I have long wondered about the fact that Garrison Keillor and Neil Gaiman both live in the Twin Cities area. Now I see that Gaiman’s Death character is moonlighting for Keillor, thinking that without her Goth look no one will recognize her.)

A major difference between Altman’s film and Cars is that the cinematic version of the Prairie Home Companion show is doomed because it cannot find a way to survive in a changing world, in which radio variety shows have otherwise long been extinct. (In real life, of course, A Prairie Home Companion is a great success on public radio, in no danger of ending unless Keillor himself decides to stop. Altman’s Companion within the movie is an old-fashioned country music show, whereas in the real Companion, Keillor’s humorous monologues and comedy sketches endow the show with a gentle sense of irony. The real Companion is really a postmodern take on that kind of old-fashioned radio show, thereby managing to keep the genre relevant to contemporary sensibilities. Oddly, Altman’s film does not include any reference to Keillor’s famous fictional hometown of Lake Wobegon, which is his version of the idealized small town, that is somehow unaffected by changing times, that Lasseter’s Radiator Springs also represents.)

On the other hand, Lasseter’s movies find ways in which the past and present can coexist in harmony, just as the MoMA exhibit showed how the methods of traditional animation have been adapted to the creation of 21st century computer animated movies. Woody and Buzz become best friends, and their owner keeps them both, even though one is old-fashioned and the other is futuristic.

Similarly, in Cars Lasseter does not truly choose between the contemporary world and the idealized 1950s world of Radiator Springs. Instead, he shows how these two worlds join together, to their mutual benefit.

Having been a champion race car in the early 1950s, “Doc” Hudson was cast aside by his bosses as time went on, in an example of ageism that is all too familiar in real life. Understandably embittered, he retreated to Radiator Springs, where he kept his heroic past a secret from the community. It is important that not only does the wise old “Doc” Hudson induce a change in the young McQueen’s personality, but McQueen likewise changes “Doc.” In the movie’s third act, when McQueen returns to racing in Los Angeles, “Doc” unexpectedly journeys there to act as his coach. Other Radiator Springs citizens join him on the trip, and prove themselves effective as McQueen’s support crew, demonstrating that these country cars can make a contribution in the contemporary urban world.

Following the race, McQueen uses his fame to make the larger world aware of Radiator Springs. Once more the town finds itself with plenty of customers: the town is revitalized by the visitors’ presence, and the visitors purchase the wares of the town’s residents: the new and the old benefit from one another. (The brief vignettes showing the town’s new prosperity during the closing credits also remind me of the Miyazaki movies, which present similar closing montages further extending the story during their final credits.)

And if hand-drawn “2-D” animation has been consigned to the “dustbin,” that’s the fault of short-sighted corporate executives; it was not Lasseter’s intention. In Richard Corliss’s recent article about Cars for Time (May 14, 2006), Lasseter, now in charge of Disney animation, stated, “Of all studios that should be doing 2-D animation, it should be Disney. . .We haven’t said anything publicly, but I can guarantee you that we’re thinking about it.” Because I believe in it.”

Indeed, according to a report at Laughing Place, a website about all things Disney, the writer-director team of Ron Clements and Jon Musker (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and the greatly underrated Hercules) have begun developing an animated film called The Frog Princess. “Musker and Clements have elected to produce their project in the traditional hand-drawn approach, and Lasseter is 100% behind that choice!” although whether it will be approved for production remains to be seen.

Corliss gets the point of Lasseter’s theme of reconciling past and present, describing Cars as “Existing both in turbo-charged today and the gentler ’50s, straddling the realms of Pixar styling and old Disney heart. . .”

Corliss asks, “But if high-tech Lightning McQueen could find his destiny in retro Radiator Springs, why can’t Lasseter find a way to turn yesterday into tomorrow at Disney?”

There is yet another classic tradition in American film that finds new expression in Cars, but to learn about that, you’ll have to return here for next week’s column.

Copyright 2006 Peter Sanderson

 

July 13, 2006

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #12: Inside the Actors Studio

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:10 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #12: Inside The Actors Studio – Dana & Ken run a verbal marathon as Comic-Con looms in the distance, but can they outrun the talentless pap of James Lipton’s ghostly presence?

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #12 (MP3 format)

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SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 65 – Nudie Show

Filed under: The Fred Hembeck Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:56 am

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Once again, we dip into the Fred Sez archives for some old nudes – er, I mean, old news.

Well, just keep reading – you’ll understand..

A few days ago, whilst trolling through a handful of my earliest issues of DC’s Detective Comics for a suitable shot of our old friend, J’onn J’onzz, to run in the our annual St.Patrick’s Day entry, I stumbled upon this once ubiquitous full page advertisement in the very first issue of that Batman-headlined publication that I’d ever purchased, the August, 1961 issue, number 294…

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Granted, there’s a lot going on there, but I really wasn’t all that concerned about being tough (after all, I was reading comic books, wasn’t I?…), learning to dance, or even forking over a buck for a book chock-full of fun for boys.

Nope, it was THIS portion of that ad that caught my attention – and not entirely because I liked to draw for fun, either!

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Remember, folks, this was 1961. The Comics Code had been ruling with an iron fist for little over half a decade by that point, and they carefully scrutinized everything for objectionable content before a book made it anywhere near a newsstand – and I mean EVERYTHING! They probably even gave the staples the once over in that era of heavy-handed self-censorship!

So how, I’ve always wondered, did THIS ever get past them?

And not just once, but month after month – and not in some quasi-sleazy IW reprint sold in plastic bags in the nation’s bargain outlets, either – uh uh – but in books issued by industry leader National Periodical Publications no less!

Not sure what I’m talking about yet? Well, here’s an even CLOSER look…

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That’s right – she’s NAKED!!

AND brazenly colored in warm pink hues, just so there’d be absolutely no mistake about our shapely young model’s lack of attire!!

Geez, talk about your fun for boys!?!..

This ad has ALWAYS baffled me. Were the Comics Code people on some sort of mind-numbing flu medication the first time this thing slipped through, with its continued appearances just a matter of lucky ongoing neglect?

Whatever it was, let’s face it – there were quite a few little boys out there aping the excitement of our overly animated cartoon friend pictured directly below the not-so-modest Miss back in that woefully flesh-deprived era.

Not ME, of course. I was SHOCKED, shocked I tell you!

(And I’m gonna KEEP telling you that until you believe me! However long it takes, I’ve got the time…)

Visit Hembeck.com, Fred’s MySpace page, or send a personal message via this link.

Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

Nocturnal Admissions: TV; Storm Large on Rock Star: Supernova

Filed under: Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:17 am

 

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These days your average woman of a certain socio-economic class looks like either a rock star, a stripper, a hooker, or a lesbian. And they might even be all of the above. What they end up being to me is scary, which may be the point. Among the scariest new women on the scene to embody this sartorial aesthetic is Storm Large, one of the 15 contestants on the talent contest Rock Star: Supernova. 

 

Storm singing, week one

 

You probably already know enough about this show to spare me having to summarize its premise. For that you can go to TV sans Pity:

But there is one thing that you probably don’t know, which is that Storm Large comes from my town. As a Favorite Daughter, all the Goth girls are cheering her on, and the coffee bar swells are rooting for her, unless, of course, that is deemed an uncool thing to do amongst that sort. Also, all the geriatric out of touch local papers are scrambling to assign themselves street cred by suddenly acting as if all along they have loved and supported Storm and her band, The Balls (which played nearly exclusively, as far as I can tell, at a scary bar downtown called Dante’s).

Another thing you don’t know is that I have met Storm Large. Perhaps I should phrase that as “met” Storm Large, as I doubt if she can remember me among the hundreds of thousands of faces that have come before hers. Storm is a friend of a friend of mine, Marne Lucas, the superb art photographer who also lives here. When Marne was working at a local bar, called the Aalto Lounge, she invited Storm in one weeknight to watch herself on TV. Storm was the subject of a profile on an arts show aired on the local PBS affiliate. I happened to be there with a bunch of my geek nerd movie buff friends who at the time always met that week night. I watched the segment and studied the back of Storm as she sat at the bar. She has a rather humongus tattoo on her back. I met her but only to say hello, and then say I met her (I’ve also met one of the members of the recently disbanded Sleater-Kinney, who also hangs out at the same bar, but only because we once worked for the same company and she makes no secret of hating my guts. But then, she’s a woman, and this is Portland).

 

Storm on the show

 

After the show Storm went on to ensorcel and hypnotize my movie buff friends, who all sat around a round table in a back smoking room where the bathrooms were located. She came out of the bathroom, responded to their testosterone, entertained and flirted and controlled them, and then left the room, forgetting about them. It was all very entertaining but also scary. My lord, the pure absolute ego one must have to be a rock star! One of the best moments from the second week was Dilana mask-flipping off Dave Nararro when she thought he was going to say something rude (he didn’t, he praised her). Does one ever really “know” a rock star? Aren’t they always “on” and at the same time full of themselves, warding off real human contact? You can’t imagine being around rock stars (or should I say aspiring rock stars). They don’t want friendship, they want worship. And when you think of your own petty puny life, all you can think to do is drop to your knees and whine, “We’re not worthy.”

This is made evident on the show, wherein each contestant, during the post performance judging orals, endeavors to come across as arrogant, confident, strutting, and narcississtic. They all assume that they will be the singer for Supernova. Including, sadly, Storm. Except that she has a very polished and professional voice, and could front the band with confidence (in local interviews, Storm likes to say that she doesn’t need the show because she already is a rock star, and that she is doing the gig to be able to pay the musicians in The Balls). But this is what makes Rock Star ultimately more enjoyable than American Idol: the contestants aren’t amateurs. We are not watching them “grow” before our eyes. Most of Rock Star’s contestants are seasoned professionals who know what they are doing. Curiously, though, the three Supernova members and the producer of the their album seem basically pretty down to earth. Apparently only years of real rock star fame allow you in your old age to revert back to being a human being.

 

Storm on the show 2

 

The contestant who seems the most sympatico to me is the one actually named Star; he’s a guy who doesn’t like tattoos or the other trappings of rock living on that high level. I don’t know how well that sits with the band members of Supernova or Dave Navarro, who have no unmarked body space. Storm is a little scary herself, but that is required of Portland women. Portland, as you know, is the home of Tonya Harding, and the whole state is notable for producing Marci Rideout, the woman who gained fame by accusing her husband of rape, and Diane Downs, the trendsetting child murderess. Apparently the goal of most Portland women is to have a TV movie of the week made about them.

It turns out that Storm Large is her real name (her middle name is Susan). Which she must get that a lot. It’s the first thing she says about herself in the first interview with her aired on the show. But she is no Portlander. Storm was born in Massachusetts, and went to a prep school in Southborough called St. Marks, where her father teaches.

 

Storm Large from the website

But now seeing Storm up close thanks to the wonders of television I kept being reminded of someone else, and I couldn’t figure out who it was. I knew who contestant Lukas, from Canada, looks like: Clint Howard, widely noted as the ugliest man in Hollywood (Lucas is another homeless guy, like J.D. Fortune, who won the first season’s contest to front INXS). Anyway, I finally hit upon it. She has the same basic facial structure as Lindsay Lohan. And I revere Lindsay Lohan. It turns out that, after all these years of thinking that I was attracted to any reasonably pretty girl, I have a “type.” 

I’m a little worried about Storm. She is 37, and that seems a little long in the tooth for a band fronting rock star. At the same time, Supernova are pretty old themselves. In any case, I am rooting for Storm, while at the same time kinda hoping she loses so that she’ll come back to Portland.

 

 

July 12, 2006

Brat-halla #136: Norse Force – Avengesome

Filed under: Brat-Halla — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:00 am

by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger Comic Version

Brat-halla #136: Norse Force - Avengesome

For extras, visit the Brat-halla Web site!

Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | BRAT-HALLA BLOG | BRAT-HALLA FORUM | ARCHIVES

July 11, 2006

Quick Stop Contest #2: Strangers With Candy – WINNER ANNOUNCED

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:46 am

strangers-20060707-01.jpgIn conjunction with the nationwide release of the big screen version of Strangers With Candy, we’ve got a new contest for ya.

This one is actually pretty straightforward – between now and midnight EST on Sunday evening (7/9/2006), e-mail in with the correct answer to the following question:

 

During the first season of Strangers With Candy, Jerri Blank had numerous pets that met grisly fates. What type of animal was each pet, what were their names, and how did they each meet their maker?

 

That’s it.

Drop your entry to mail@asitecalledfred.com, and we’ll choose the winner from all submissions with the correct answer.

So what do you win? How about a copy of the complete Strangers With Candy DVD set, signed by Amy Sedaris?

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Cool, huh? 

The winner will be notified via e-mail on Monday morning. Get to it, people!

AND THE WINNER IS: TAVIA COLLINS

The answer to the question was:

1. Shelly – Turtle – killed after being hit by a golf club at Jerri’s party

2. Clawson – Lobster – boiled after being accidentally dropped in cook pot during a fight between Jerri and her stepmom

3. Suki – Chicken – cooks herself to save a starving Jerri

4. Gregory – Woodpecker – killed by Noblet after attacking him in Noblet’s car

 

Quick Stop Contest #1: Luke Skywalker – WINNER ANNOUNCED

Filed under: Contests — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:35 am

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE UPCOMING PREMIUM FORMAT BOBA FETT:

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE BOUNTY HUNTER  

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sideshowcontest1.jpgYou want a chance to win the long sold-out 12″ Jedi Luke Skywalker figure from Sideshow Collectibles?  

Do ya?

All you have to do is click on the big honkin’ link below, submit your entry, and hope the fickle finger of fate chooses you for this great prize”¦

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO WON 

 

The contest will run from Thursday, June 22, 2006, until Thursday, July 6, 2006. Be sure to check back after the contest closes when the winner will be posted.

 

                                                                                                                        

         

          

            

  

 

Toy Box: Crispy Anakin/Darth Vader Mini-Bust

Filed under: Toy Box — admin @ 2:26 am

 

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Gentle Giant has done many things, but few of them have had the legs and the overall quality of their first big hit, the Star Wars mini-busts.  These high quality busts have been the bedrock on which GG has built their organization (well, and that little scanning technology thing), and the line continues to be one of their best sellers.

When it comes to exclusives, GG often goes the same route as other companies – simple repaints or basic redecos.  Tonight I’ll look at one of their most recent exclusives, the “Darth Vader Anakin Reveal” mini-bust, or as I prefer to think of him, crispy Anakin.

You’ve never actually seen this particular version on screen exactly like this, but that’s a minor detail.  Here you get the Vader body, with the burnt, scarred head of Anakin Skywalker as seen in Episode 3, clearly visible.

This is an Entertainment Earth Exclusive, and runs $50.  That’s pretty much the going rate these days for any of the GG busts.  It is limited to a 5000 piece production run, but fear not, for that’s not particularly limited when it comes to these busts.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, you can always reach me at mwc@mwctoys.com. If you enjoy this review, take a minute to check out my other site at Michael’s Review of the Week, and let me know what you think. Now on to the review!

Crispy Anakin mini-bust

 

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Packaging – ***1/2
Gentle Giant packaging usually allows you to see the bust before you buy.  That’s always a big plus in my book, especially with high end items.  The boxes are also designed with extremely sturdy interior styrofoam packaging that keeps things nice and safe, and I’ve heard of very few problems with breakage on any GG bust.

GG also includes a Certificate of Authenticity with each bust, although these have gotten tinier as time has gone by.  Eventually, I assume they’ll be postage stamp sized.  They do have the edition number on them, as does the exterior of the box, in case what number you get is important to you.

 

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Sculpting – ***1/2
Another great job by Gentle Giant.  That scanning technology can sometimes be a crutch, and can sometimes be used to produce very realistic looking zombie versions of famous characters.  Other times, it can be used to speed up the start of the sculpting process, and allow the artist to take over to produce an exceptional final product.  The latter is the case here, thankfully.

 

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You have to feel for Anakin seeing his appearance.  He’s been badly burned, almost beyond recognition.   The scarring is extremely well detailed, both on the front and back of the head.  The head might appear a little small at first, but remember, for the mask to be the right size, the head must be closer to this in size.

 

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The body of the bust, the Vader section below the neck, isn’t new to the line. This is the same sculpted body as the earlier released Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader.  It’s a nice sculpt to be sure, but collectors that already have him in the display may be hesitant to fork up another fifty bucks.

Paint – ****
I’ve mentioned this many, many times, but it’s always worth repeating – a great sculpt can be ruined by poor paint, and great paint can bring a mediocre sculpt way up the scale.  In this case, the excellent sculpt is even improved on with the application of paint.

 

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There’s a nice gradiation in the colors of the burnt skin, making it appear very realistic and lifelike.  The head is slightly shiny, with a bit of a gloss finish, but that just seems right for this type of heavily damaged flesh.

The paint ops on the body of the bust are the high quality work you’d expect, considering what we’ve seen with the rest of the line.  There’s no slop, no bleed, and the colors are well cut.  There’s also a nice use of different finishes – from gloss to matte – to imply different materials.

Design/Quality – ***
The use of the previous Vader body does cause some minor issues with the overall appearance and design of the figure.  The lightsaber is held up in front of his face, not a huge deal when he’s masked, but when his face is actually the focus, it is a bit of an issue.  Thankfully, the saber blade is removable, so it can be placed out of the way, but then the position seems a bit odd.  It’s not likely that Vader would hold his hilt in both hands in front of his body quite this way if it wasn’t already lit.

 

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That nit aside, the quality and design are solid.  They did a nice job working with what they had to create a decent exclusive version.

Value – **
Ah, but here’s the rub.  This bust is a full priced bust, and even then some.  At $50, he at full SRP, and generally you can get the regular release busts $8 or so cheaper than that from most dealers.  Everything from the neck down is a reuse, and at 5000 busts he’s not limited in the least.  It’s going to be tough to justify the price tag, and I suspect lots of folks will be waiting to see if these go on sale or are cheaper on Ebay.

Overall – ***
I’m very happy with the head sculpt and paint work.  However, the fact that 80% of this bust comes from another bust, and the odd pose of the hands/saber, hurt the overall score.  At this price, and at a run of 5000, the value really isn’t there.

Still, I’m happy I picked one up.  I’m a sort of completist with the mini-busts (I’m missing the impossible to get Christmas gift releases), and this one will add to the Episode 1 – 3 display.  If you’ve already bought the regular ROTS Vader, you may be less inclined to pick this up, but if you passed on that one, this one gives you all that and more.

 

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Where to Buy:
Since this is an exclusive, your first bet is at the Entertainment Earth website, where he’s $50.

Related Links:
In the statue and bust realm of Gentle Giant, I’ve covered several areas:

– there’s the Star Wars line of mini-busts, including the recent Emperor and Lando. Also in Star Wars, I reviewed the Biker Scout statue, and I ran a guest review of the Darth Vader statue

– under the Harry Potter line, I’ve reviewed the Hungarian Horntail statue, the Snape/Dumbledore set and the Dobby/Dementor set.

 

DVD Late Show: Hot Summer Frights

Filed under: DVD Late Show — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:23 am

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July 11, 2006

Welcome back to the Late Show. I’ve got another handful of fiendish films for your mid-Summer viewing, including a couple of advance previews of upcoming releases. Still no MASTERS OF HORROR reviews as yet ““ I’m getting to be something of a tease with that series, aren’t I? Anyway, let’s begin”¦

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Dark Sky Films is about to re-issue another fondly-remembered classic, with next month’s Special Edition of the Dan Curtis (DARK SHADOWS) television film TRILOGY OF TERROR (1974), starring Karen Black (FIVE EASY PICES, BURNT OFFERINGS).

Based on three short stories by master fantasist Richard Matheson (TWILIGHT ZONE, THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE) ““ two of which were faithfully adapted for the film by Matheson’s friend William F. Nolan (Logan’s Run) while the maestro himself adapted the third ““ the made-for-television anthology stars the talented Ms. Black in four different roles and was a ratings smash when it aired in 1975.

The first of the three tales, “Julie,” stars Black as an uptight college professor who reluctantly goes out on a date with one of her students, who then drugs her, snaps some incriminating photos, and blackmails her. In “Millicent and Therese,” Black plays two rival sisters ““ a repressed spinster and a sleazy tramp ““ with supernatural secrets.

In the final and most memorable segment, “Amelia,” Black portrays a woman who purchases a “Zuni fetish doll” for her boyfriend as a gift. According to a scroll included with the doll, it embodies the spirit of an ancient hunter, “He Who Kills,” and if the gold chain around it is removed, the doll will come to life. Of course, the chain falls off and the screeching little monster goes postal, chasing Amelia around her upscale apartment, slashing her ankles with its tiny knife. As one might expect from one of the main writers of THE TWILIGHT ZONE, each of the three stories have twist endings.

Black pretty much carries the entire film, and is impressive in all her roles. As it was a Seventies network television program, there’s no gore to speak of, and while the movie’s not particularly scary, it is occasionally creepy, and the final story is still thrilling, giddy fun, despite the simple “special effects” involved.

Dark Sky’s disc presents the movie in its original, full frame 1.33:1 format, with a surprisingly sharp and clear picture that is a noticeable improvement over the earlier release of this title by Anchor Bay. The Dolby mono track is crystal clear. The disc also includes a very good audio commentary track with star Black and screenwriter Nolan. They seem to enjoy each other’s company, and Nolan discusses the changes made from the original short stories to the televised versions. Black goes into great detail about the third story, and the challenges involved in acting alone with a homicidal wooden doll. This Special Edition also includes two on-camera interview segments: one with star Black, and the other with author Richard Matheson, who discusses not only the film at hand, but some of his other collaborations with the late producer/director Dan Curtis.

TRILOGY OF TERROR hits the shelves on August 29, and is recommended for fans of Matheson, Curtis, Black, or old school horror.

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ei Independent Cinema’s latest entry in their Shock-O-Rama horror line is the cleverly-titled SHOCK-O-RAMA (2006), a CREEPSHOW-styled anthology directed by Brett Piper (BITE ME!, THE SCREAMING DEAD).

When bitter scream queen Rebecca Raven (ei starlet Misty Mundae, THE SCREAMING DEAD, SPIDERBABE, in a semi-autobiographical role) is fired by the B-movie studio that employs her, she heads for a quiet house in the country to get away from it all”¦. and battle an angry, flesh-hungry zombie.

Meanwhile, her former employers have discovered that the girl they intended as Raven’s replacement has become unavailable, and they desperately need a leading lady for their new film. They screen a couple of flicks hoping to find a new star, and these films make up two of the three stories in SHOCK-O-RAMA. In “Mechanoid,” a couple of tiny alien criminals land in a New Jersey junkyard and battle the yard’s owner (Rob Monkiewicz, BITE ME!) with a stop-motion, scrap-yard robot. In “Lonely Are the Brain,” beautiful young women in a dream research project are finding their subconscious fantasies manipulated by a sexually voracious female doctor (Julian Wells, DR. JEKYLL & MISTRESS HYDE) and a giant, evil brain from the future.

Completely tongue-in-cheek, SHOCK-O-RAMA is, nonetheless, a great ride, with excellent handcrafted special effects, beautiful girls, a witty script, and some extremely effective low budget visuals, especially during the final story’s dream sequences. Director and FX artist Piper even manages some economical but effective illusions worthy of the great Mario Bava, with ingenious combinations of sets, miniatures, lighting and accomplished camera work. The pace never drags, and the film possesses a sense of humor (especially in the Misty Mundae zombie segment) that’s reminiscent of Sam Raimi’s early work.

ei’s DVD includes a 1.78:1widescreen transfer with anamorphic enhancement, and looks great. The special features include an audio commentary track by writer/director/FX artist Piper and producer Michael Raso, a behind-the-scenes featurette, footage of the film’s NYC premiere, an on-screen Q&A with Piper from the same event, and the ever-growing Shock-O-Rama trailer vault.

Full disclosure: I handled the layout and design of the DVD cover for this ei release, and I’ve been doing package design work for them regularly for some months now. But I can honestly say that I would have recommended this movie even if I hadn’t been involved with it in any way. It’s exactly the kind of imaginative, entertaining exploitation effort that I love, and Piper and the ei crew have done a great job with this, the best Shock-O-Rama release yet.

SHOCK-O-RAMA will be released on September 5th.

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Anchor Bay has recently released the 1981 stalk n’ slash thriller VISITING HOURS, directed by Jean Claude Lord and starring Lee Grant, William Shatner, Linda Purl and Michael Ironside.

In this taut suspense flick, Lee Grant (THE SWARM) is a feminist television journalist who attracts the homicidal attentions of a woman-hating sociopath, chillingly played by Michael Ironside (STARSHIP TROOPERS, SCANNERS). He attacks her in her home, but she manages to barely survive his assault and is taken to a nearby hospital. Unfortunately, the killer is still after her… and the pretty young nurse that she befriends.

Lord’s direction follows more in the tradition of Hitchcock than Carpenter, emphasizing suspense and character over gory attack scenes, and the violence is relatively restrained, especially for the slasher-ific Eighties. That’s not to say that Ironside’s character doesn’t take out a few innocent bystanders in pursuit of his prey, though. The performances of the grown-up cast are uniformly good, with the legendary William Shatner wasted in ““ and forced to underplay ““ the thankless role of Grant’s producer and boyfriend.

Anchor Bay’s presentation of this better-than-average Canadian nail biter includes a very sharp 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. The print shows its age somewhat, but overall it’s more than adequate, with bright, solid colors and good detail. The only extras are a handful of effective TV spots, a radio spot, and trailers for a few other Anchor Bay releases.

VISITING HOURS makes a suspenseful 105 minutes, and is definitely worth a rental, if only for Ironside’s disturbingly convincing portrayal of the psycho.

Next week… either those MASTERS OF HORROR discs… or something else entirely. Tune in and find out!

July 10, 2006

Clerks 2 InAction Short #3

Filed under: Clerks 2 InAction Shorts — UncaScroogeMcD @ 7:19 pm
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The countdown is on to the premiere of Clerks 2 (July 21st, natch) and we’ve got a special series of cyber-nuggets to keep you amped, featuring the plastic alter-egos of everyone’s favorite cast of characters (including a certain writer/director who shall remain nameless).

EPISODE #3: “Are You Kevin Smith?” – An awkward encounter with a well-known filmmaker.

Download here:

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CHECK OUT EPISODE #1: Click Here

CHECK OUT EPISODE #2: Click Here

Clerks 2 InAction is brought to you by Kevin Smith, Jeff Anderson, Brian O’Halloran, Ken Plume, and Zak Knutson & Joey Figueroa of Chop Shop Entertainment. Want to make Randal and Dante obey your every whim? Click here.

Interview: Carlos Alazraqui

Filed under: Interviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:00 am

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-By Ken Plume

alazraqui-20060710-01.jpgWith the 4th season of Reno 911 premiering on Comedy Central, the 3rd season hitting your local DVD emporium, and a major motion picture on the way in the form of Reno 911: Miami, we got a chance to have a nice long chat with the man behind one of Reno’s finest, Carlos Alazraqui, who plays Deputy James Garcia.

Alazraqui is also a standup comedian and an established voiceover artist, starting with Rocko in Rocko’s Modern Life and including the legendary Taco Bell Chihuahua.

Be sure to also swing by his official website at www.CarlosAlazraqui.com

———–

KEN PLUME: I interviewed Tom Lennon last year… a big, massive, career-comprehensive, all his secrets revealed kind of thing…

CARLOS ALAZRAQUI: I don’t have many secrets…

PLUME: In which he revealed that really, you’re his favorite.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah?

PLUME: Sure.

ALAZRAQUI: Why not?

PLUME: Of course he would say that, right?

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: How could he not say that? ‘Cause clearly you’re the audience’s favorite.

ALAZRAQUI: That’s right. It’s unchallenged. That fact is unchallenged.

PLUME: Until it is, it is completely unchallenged.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly. The Earth is round, and I’m everybody’s favorite.

PLUME: You know what? I would put money on it right now.

ALAZRAQUI: Good.

PLUME: Maybe not once challenged, but right now.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly, right now before it’s challenged.

PLUME: Looking over your career, it’s interesting that primarily you’ve done standup and voice work…

ALAZRAQUI: Yes.

PLUME: I’m assuming standup came first…

alazraqui-20060710-02.jpgALAZRAQUI: Standup comedy, yeah. And then in ’92, I was living in San Francisco from ’87 to ’94. In ’92, there was a local audition for a little project called Rocko’s Modern Life. Joe Murray and Nick Jennings, now both working solid in the cartoon industry. I auditioned for Rocko’s Modern Life and got it.

PLUME: And became Rocko…

ALAZRAQUI: And became Rocko.

PLUME: What was it initially about standup comedy that drew you in?

ALAZRAQUI: Um, I think just the attention, you know, and thinking I could be famous and big and attract women and all those kinda things. It wasn’t necessarily that I would transition to anything worthwhile per se, but then, there was a possibility of sitcoms and all those sort of things, and making money while not having a real job….

PLUME: This is during the late 80s comedy boom…

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. It was pretty fascinating in San Francisco – just a wealth of talent, you know? You had Tom Kenny and Warren Thomas and Rob Schneider and Chris Titus and Michael Prichard. and Robin Williams would drop in every once in a while, and you had Paula Poundstone, Marsha Warfield and… all these people. It was amazing.

PLUME: At that point in time in San Francisco, what was the club scene like?

ALAZRAQUI: It was amazing. It was at its pinnacle in 1989. We had five clubs going. We had the Holy City Zoo, the Other Café, the Punch Line, the Improv, and Cobbs.

PLUME: I’m assuming that it was practically straight out of school that you started.

ALAZRAQUI: In college, actually. I started in Sacramento State. I was doing a little standup there. I did some mime with the teacher, and I got in a comedy duo at a place called the Metro Bar and Grill. Worked on that for about a year. Then I did some hosting at Laughs Unlimited. And then in ’87 I decided to move to San Francisco.

PLUME: So what was the duo act like?

ALAZRAQUI: It was fun. It was a lot of stupid sketches. We did William F. Buckley interviewing Floyd the Barber from the Andy Griffith Show on Central American policy.

PLUME: And which one did you play?

ALAZRAQUI: I played Floyd the Barber. We did Nixon talking to a gorilla at the zoo. We did Ronald Reagan getting pulled over for a speeding ticket by Jimmy Carter. You know, at that time it was the mid 80s… you know, ’85. It was very SNL-like. One of our favorite bits was singing “White Christmas” by Devo. Put bowls on our heads and fake glasses and did this little “White Christmas” parody. And so we just did a bunch of little, quick little sketches.

PLUME: I have to know – was your Floyd the Barber based on the original Floyd, or Eugene Levy doing Floyd the Barber?

ALAZRAQUI: It was based on the original. Even though I was a huge SCTV fan, it was still based on the original from the show.

PLUME: So does any footage exist of any of these shows?

ALAZRAQUI: I might have a video or two somewhere. It does still exist.

PLUME: When was the last time you actually looked at them?

ALAZRAQUI: Oh, probably six, eight years ago or something.

PLUME: So looking back at those videos and those performances, how would you view the performer you were then?

ALAZRAQUI: Amateurish. But fun. Lotta energy. “This kid’s got a lot of energy.” Very green. But good energy.

PLUME: What was your confidence level like at that time?

ALAZRAQUI: Pretty good, because I’m fairly athletic. I played soccer and I ran track and, you know, I had a cute girlfriend… so I was pretty confident. Although not confident to be on my own, so I liked being in a duo.

PLUME: At what point did you realize the duo was something you’d moved beyond?

ALAZRAQUI: I think around ’86, when I got a chance to be in this comedy competition by myself, because my partner didn’t like the owner of the club and I was doing pretty well. And that’s the point I realized, like, “Yeah, I could probably go farther on my own.” ‘Cause my work ethic was a little stronger at that time.

PLUME: Did you get the feeling that it was more of a hobby to him?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. At the time. Didn’t have the drive, I thought.

PLUME: And where is he now?

ALAZRAQUI: I don’t know. Mark Frazee. Very talented guy. Played music and really just a cool guy and, I don’t know. I think he’s travelin’ elsewhere to maybe be creative in different ways and maybe be a parent, at that time, and pursue that kind of… life.

PLUME: So this is like the third partner that Penn & Teller had in the early 80s.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: How big a decision was it for you to actually make the move up to San Francisco?

ALAZRAQUI: It was big. It was my friend and I, John Boyle. We were the first pioneers from Sacramento to move to San Francisco. I think we led a wave after that. People knew that you could do it, you know? And it was big. It was February of ’87, and I had gone into the city to visit a friend, and fell in love with it. Even though I used to go as a kid all the time. And having him go with me was great. We lived in this little converted garage apartment, and it was just dark and dank and moldy all the time, and it was probably 700 square feet. Two people in one separate room with a small moldy bathroom and about two cabinets and a kitchenette.

PLUME: So you really felt like a performer at that point.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah. We had a Russian landlord named Boris. It was awesome, man.

PLUME: See, that’s the kind of things that inform and forge a performer.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, and I was working at two different health clubs at the time, ’cause my major was in recreation administration. I had worked in a health club and done my internships there. So I was working behind the sports desk and teaching Nautilus, so I’d ride by bike across Golden Gate Park and teach there on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Monday/Wednesday/Fridays I’d work the sports desk at Telegraph Hill Club. Which is a really nice health club.

PLUME: How much actual performance time would you be able to fit into that schedule?

ALAZRAQUI: Five days a week. ‘Cause I’d do that in the morning, take naps in the afternoon, and go out at night.

PLUME: How would you describe your act at that point?

ALAZRAQUI: Getting better, you know? ‘Cause I was emulating all the San Francisco acts that I was watching at the time, so it was getting better and more clever, because the San Francisco scene demanded it.

PLUME: What would the act actually consist of? Was it more observational, was it character-based, or…

ALAZRAQUI: Character-based. I remember doing Larry Bud Melman singing “I’m So Excited” by the Pointer Sisters, when Larry Bud Melman was big.

PLUME: Oh come on, when did he ever stop being big?

ALAZRAQUI: True.

PLUME: What were the audiences like at that point? Because obviously the comedy boom was going strong at that time, and a lot of people really hadn’t been exposed to standup, and particularly that sort of unique brand of standup that wasn’t just joke telling.

ALAZRAQUI: The audience was collected, very discerning. They could be tough if you were at the Holy City Zoo. Unforgiving. If you weren’t clever enough, you know? So they were good, but hard sometimes.

PLUME: Were there any times that they actually rocked your confidence?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah… yeah. The thing to do in San Francisco was to perform at the Other Café or out of town in Napa, or in Walnut Creek and feel good, and then go to the Holy City Zoo and do your second set that night and get shot down to earth again. ‘Cause it’s this teeny little pub with just wine and beer, it’s where Robin Williams was the legend, and it sat about 80 people, and it’s mostly comics and people off the street, and so it was a hard, hard room to do. You couldn’t be bigger than the room. So you’re stuff some times would not fly at the Zoo.

PLUME: Is there anything that you still regret didn’t fly, or did you eventually get everything to work out in some way?

ALAZRAQUI: Nah, but the things that didn’t fly I don’t regret ’cause it made me stronger. A better comedian, I think.

PLUME: How caustic would the audience get? Were they a rowdy audience, or sort of apathetic…

ALAZRAQUI: The silence was bad. It’s like “mmmmmm”… or comics talking. You know? So it was not the rowdiness, it was the lack of noise from the audience that frightened me more.

PLUME: So, really, an apathetic response was more terrifying and demoralizing.

ALAZRAQUI: Exactly.

PLUME: Every comedy scene seems to have one – who was the comic that everyone looked up to as the one that was gonna rocket out of the scene?

ALAZRAQUI: Gosh, you know, we all thought Tom Kenny at the time… Warren Thomas was brilliant. Jeremy Kramer. Rob Schneider a little bit…

PLUME: That was a year or two before he was snatched for SNL, wasn’t it?

ALAZRAQUI: Yes. Dana Gould, we thought was brilliant. Dana writes for The Simpsons now.

PLUME: Was there any point where you actually considered a different path? Or was it once you had actually gotten into that world, that was the only thing you were gonna continue to pursue?

ALAZRAQUI: That was something I was gonna continue to pursue.

PLUME: Was there any point that you felt like walking away?

ALAZRAQUI: I think doing some of those first road gigs. When you’re an emcee on the road and making no money, and people love the other acts more and you’re lonely. There were times like that, like in Albuquerque, when I was sleeping on a couch and spending more than I was making.

PLUME: And who’s couch was it, the manager’s? Is that one of those comedy flop houses that Bill Maher described?

ALAZRAQUI: As it were, yeah. All the other acts would come over and smoke pot or get high, and I was totally clean, maybe a drink or two, and I’d have bronchitis with no health plan so I’d have to wait ’til I worked in San Diego and go across the border to get arithromiacin I knew what I needed – I just couldn’t afford a doctor.

PLUME: How wonderful.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah.

PLUME: And I know the feeling. As a freelance writer, I know the feeling.

ALAZRAQUI: Oh yeah.

PLUME: There must have also been that kind of feeling towards the early 90s, when the scene started drying up.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. Yeah, because there were fewer clubs, the competition was greater. So you really had to do well and there was a lot more pressure.

PLUME: How much of a break, then, was Rocko?

ALAZRAQUI: Incredible. You know? Just that I could somehow break into this world and make money doing this. It was fantastic.

PLUME: Now was that the first time you had actually done voice work?

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, pretty much.

PLUME: So it was really just hitting the ball out of the park on the first up to bat.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah. Luck.

PLUME: What was the learning curve for you going into a studio for the first time?

ALAZRAQUI: Um, pretty severe. I was working with – you know, it was Tom Kenny’s first cartoon, but we were working with Charlie Adler, who’s now a really big director, and he was an amazing voiceover guy at the time, and he was just awesome. So I learned from him really quickly, and watching Tom and the other actors that we had. So that was a real fun, organic experience, Rocko’s Modern Life, and actually Joe Murray and Mark O’Hare and Tom Kenny and I and Doug Lawrence, from Rocko, are now working on Camp Lazlo on Cartoon Network.

PLUME: And you can definitely feel the same vibe to that.

ALAZRAQUI: Yeah, we know each other so well. Rocko‘s very special. I learned a lot very quickly.

PLUME: And you also have a writing credit on Rocko, right?

ALAZRAQUI: Uh, I may have a small writing credit for a bowling episode we did.

Spook’d #85: Extreme Lair Makeover – The Design Team

Filed under: Spook'd — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:50 am

-by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

Larger sized comic

Spook'd #85: Extreme Lair Makeover - The Design Team

To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

Check out the preview to…

E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES

Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

Party Favors: Skanklee

Filed under: Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:24 am

 

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PARIS – I show up in France with a bicycle and a Skippy jar filled to the brim with clean urine sample and those bums still won’t let me try to become Lance Jr. They know that once my golden jar goes through the chemistry set, I get the yellow jersey – no matter how many months it takes me to ride around their country. Are there any pro bikers that aren’t on the juice? 

Have we reached a part where the next big sport should be called “Who Can Pee Clean?” Forget actual contests, just line up a group of guys to see who can test the cleanest. Isn’t that all the Olympics is about now? Not who is the best, but who has the least amount of rumors about them juicing before the contests? Or having their blood swapped with Keith Richards?

And what’s up with the head of the World Anti-Doping Agency being named Dick Pound? Isn’t this a case of bragging? If it really weighs a pound, why doesn’t he make real money in the world of porn? And how exactly did a guy who never even won a stinking bronze medal as part of the Canadian swim team in 1960 (when the Olympics allowed water wings) get to be the big mouth in charge of taking the piss out of sports? He’s already a suspect in my book – a Canadian swimmer? How long is water liquid in the Great White North? If you’re in Canada and below the water line, you’ve drowned beneath the ice. Why wasn’t Dick Pound a hockey superstar? Couldn’t find a jock that holds sixteen ounces? If he wants to clean up sports, he really should clean up his name. I think it’s foul how he expects the world to respect a name that Bart Simpson would use to crank call Moe. Was Dick’s wife’s maiden name Plenty O’Toole? (Yes, it’s a James Bond joke).

And who is the head of the World Doping Agency? Or has someone already hired the former coaches of the East German women’s swim team?

ALBUM OF 2006 SO FAR

The winner is Guns ‘N Roses’ Chinese Democracy. Sure it hasn’t come out, but that didn’t stop me from hearing a few rough mixes thanks to various means.  I’ve become obsessed with the leaked tracks over the last few months. Damn shame if at least one action flick doesn’t use “There Was a Time” on the soundtrack. Sure this band is actually just the Axl Rose Show, but there’s no money in selling those t-shirts. When will this record finally come out? Give us the full sound of “Better,” Axl! There’s more layers to these songs. It’s got the same hypnotic quality of Sonic Youth’s Daydream Nation. This is a sonic tapestry that might actually come close to giving a proper snapshot of 21st Century living – the disconnect from the harsh realities. That somehow were supposed to be at war yet we only feel a battle every week when we hit the gas pumps. The desire to surrender privacy to embrace foolish stardom. To consider ourselves artists while allowing corporate goofballs first edit on alleged genius.

Axl is our last hope unless he sells out and lets VH1 make a reality show about him.

WE NEED MORE RIBBON

After catching his act on The Today Show, Tony Orlando is now a candidate for Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. I’m guessing that all that home cooking in Branson, has caught up with the man. He won’t be revisiting his polyester leisure suit collection anytime soon. He might as well get that yellow ribbon tied around the Old Country Buffet. I predict that soon we’ll see Ant jabbering with the man who once ruled Dawn.

SEAL THE BORDERS

America’s Got Talent is the work of Satan. It rips off the “Come on down!” moment from Price is Right. It out right steals the three barely celebrity judges and bad acts from The Gong Show. And it robs America of it’s dignity. Satan must have had a hand in having Simon Cowell produce a show that’s hosted by Regis Philbin and judged by David Hasselhoff. Can’t this trio take a night off and leave the entertaining to someone else?  The second judge is Brandy. I despise this woman who annoyingly flaunted her wonderful marriage and upcoming baby on MTV’s Brandy: Special Delivery.  And then when the show ended, she dumped her husband. The highlight of her career – when Allan Havey made her cry during an episode of Punk’d.

What really makes me hate this show is Piers Morgan. Who is this British Boob? Why did Simon Cowell have to import his mini-me? Forget people being smuggled in from Mexico to take work away from us. Why did INS allow Piers to earn a paycheck in our country? Enough with importing English pricks for reality TV.  I thought there were laws at immigration that makes you have to prove that an American can’t do a job before you can import an employee. Am I supposed to believe that there’s not a single American capable of watching bad talent and pressing a buzzer to light up a big X? Can’t retired NASA chimps do this job?

Is there a shortage of American pricks? If so, why do I seem to find them clustered at comic book stores every saturday morning? Why did we allow Simon Cowell to import a disgraced English newspaper hack to sit in judgement of ourselves? Do I need to remind you that 200 plus years ago we rose up against a pack of English jerks that judged us? We ran those limey bastards out of this country. And now we’re putting them on TV and want to make cult figures out of them. America’s talent must not involve detecting frauds like Piers. I don’t have a problem with too many English people including Diana Rigg, Benny Hill and the guys in Monty Python. But they wanted to entertain us – not be gate keepers to our culture.

Rise up, America. Let’s put an end to this English occupation of Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and their ilk. Do you think Patrick Henry would be turn on America’s  Got Talent? Enough with this Red Coat TV.

ENOUGH CLOWN TIME FOR DAVID

NBC needs to quit dragging David Gregory up to New York City to host the Today Show. The man is the only active pit bull in the White House press room. And when he’s called up to fill in for Matt Laurer, we’re stuck with a horde of lapdogs that send Tony Snow love letter that would make Jeff Gannon blush.

Remember when serious newsmen were serious in what they covered? Sure they might have had to do stupid on camera gigs on their way up the ladder. But once they reached a top network gig, they didn’t have to demean themselves for a sweeps week stunt. Now here’s NBC forcing their main man in the White House to do dofus cooking segments when Matt Lauer is on vacation. Why must NBC embarrass Gregory so when he returns to D.C., he can be cheerfully cut down with chuckles and quips from the president about why Gregory isn’t interviewing the farmer who grew the world’s largest watermelon.

Or maybe I’m wrong in thinking that NBC news isn’t beneath making their talent turn into circus clown.

TOPPLED OVER

Am I really watching The World Domino Tournament on ESPN2? Dominos on ESPN? This is a continuing show and not a segment with Kenny Mayne goofing off around the guys. When is EPSN going to give us the Monopoly championship? How about Rook? Operation would be good, but only under the Higgins Boys and Gruber rules – instead of D cell batteries, it’s 2 car batteries attached to the patient. Your nose will go red, too.

There’s only one sport I want to see on ESPN – competitive lesbianism. I know it’s a judged sport, but it’s very visual and looks good in slo-mo.

GOLLY, IT’S DUKE!

With the success of Robert Pine, cameo superstar, it’s time to pay tribute to Ronnie Schell. You would remember him best as Private Duke Slater on Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. But Ronnie show to become a continual presence as a guest acting legend.  Oddly enough, he’s yet to appear on any version of C.S.I. and Law and Order.

VICE SLOPS

Ten Reasons Why this new Miami Vice film doesn’t work for me:

10. Colin Farrell’s hair. What exactly was Michael Mann doing when he approved the semi-mullet?

9. Lack of cameo from Michael Talbott! How can they make the film without a visit from Det. Switek?

8. Where’s the pastel? The trailer is so dreary. Was the wardrobe mistress getting her clothes from the goth shop?

7. Uptight ain’t right. There’s no give and go between the Crockett and Tubbs at any point in the trailer. Every character looks as uptight as Lt. Castillo. Every one looks like they’re acting tough by holding back a fart.

6. Where’s Brad and Will? When Mann was first casting the film, the rumor was that Brad Pitt and Will Smith wanted the roles. Those two would have been able to bring their Se7en and Bad Boys background to the tip of Florida. People want to see them talking crap to each other. Has anyone pondered a tag team of Colin and Jamie Foxx?

5. It’s shot on video. Sure it’s the VIPER FilmStream camera. But it’s still just “Big TV” and not cinema.

4. Jamie Foxx’s performance. Has any Oscar winner ever been compared to Philip Michael Thomas?

3. No score from Jan Hammer.

2. Where’s Saundra Santiago?

1. Where the hell is season 3 of the TV show? How can Universal not keep putting out the original Vice love?

For all I know, this is a really good film. But so many of the elements that made Miami Vice a series better than Booker have been chucked out the window. What’s the point in calling it Miami Vice?

SQUID LOVE

Fourteen new episodes of Squidbillies are in production. This will be the first cartoon to win a Noble prize. The first six Squidbillies go up there with the first batch of Ren and Stimpy cartoons. I wish I had more respect for John K, but the man hasn’t been able to entertain me in nearly 15 years. He gets so high and mighty – especially when worshipping Bob Clampett that you think John K didn’t create The Ripping Friends. Hopefully the folks behind Squidbillies won’t crap out on us.

And does anyone know why Charles Napier doesn’t get real credit for voicing the sheriff on Squidbillies? And when is he going to get a lifetime achievement award from some entertainment group?

SKANKLEE

Supposedly Playboy magazine offered Ashlee Simpson $4 million to pose nude. What? Maybe that’s Hong Kong dollars. Who wants to see this skank for $4 million when in a few more months, she’ll be begging for a deal making Vivid Videos.

The creepy element has to be that Joe Simpson is somehow involved in this rumor. How many fathers like to brag while shopping at Wal-Mart that Playboy wants his daughter naked for the fat dollars? Then again, what’s the point of her getting the new face and body without showing it off?

The only way Ashlee would be worth the money is if she ends up posing for the guys who take the pics for those water bondage sites.  As it is right now, I bet there’s four million people willing to send a dollar to Playboy so they can burn the photos before they tear into our retinas.

NOT SWITCHED AT BIRTH

How exactly is Eric Wareheim not related to Brian Posehn? Brian has appeared on Tom Goes to the Mayor so I know they aren’t the same person.

BAKED IN THE BOXES

What’s the point of afternoon baseball during the work week? Do people really want to skip work to see the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Nothing like spending the hottest part of the day sweating in the stands and paying $50 for the sizzling seat. Not to mention the $10 beers to keep you cool. When you’re faking sick, why do you want to risk heat stroke? Cause your boss is going to know you’re a liar when you show up as red as lobster.

RATE THE NEW KIDS

The Surreal Life 7 cast has been announced and it has the potential to be one that I might watch before they have the marathon weekend.

Randy Savage (WWF wrestler and Slim Jim spokesman) – Wonder how bitter he’ll be that VH1 makes him share a show with these folks while the Hulkster runs wild! Bet he’s going to talk about his rap career.

Lita Ford (Metal Guitar Goddess) – While not a friend of her music, I do remember soloing to her videos.

Phil Hellmuth Jr (poker player) – I’m looking forward to seeing the biggest dick in cards try to exist around people. I still remember that big game that Annie Duke played his ass hard.

Carrot Top (comic genius) – How many trunks will he get to move into the house? Has anyone tested this man’s urine for roids?

Tina Jordan (former Playboy Playmate) – One of Hef’s discards attempts to get her some Girls Next Door action. I used to enjoy her visits to Howard Stern’s E! show. Wonder if she’ll get naked for the pool or turn out to be the prude tease.

Niki McKibbin (American Idol season 1) – Who? How did this person get the week off from working at Dennys?

Bushwick Bill (Rapper from the Geto Boys) – I thought this guy was dead. I swear there was a report of his death on one of those dead rapper shows. He was the little person in the badass group. Are they sure he’s not dead?

Chris Wink (blue man group) – Will he have to wear the blue make up for the whole show? Watch out at breakfast. i’ve seen what he’s done to a box of Cap’n Crunch.

Tanya Roberts (Actress) – Her “Las Vegas calling” ads sound like bomb threats.

Dabney Coleman (Actor) – My pick for the house member most likely to go nuts and strangle the Blue Man Group guy.
 

Preachin’ from the Longbox: Failure to Launch

Filed under: Preaching from the Longbox — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:07 am

 

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This week’s sermon – “Failure to Launch”

07/10/06 

Greetings, my fellow readers of the sequential arts. 

This column may not speak directly to you but I humbly request that you, the reader, will come along for a ride as I’ve decided to offer some topical insight into the whole comic book business. 

So, let me just start with a few questions: 

Have you ever felt despondent when a comic book publisher announces that they’ve decided to cancel your favorite title due to lack of sales?

Or, have you felt angry when a comic book that your store has devoted time and energy into developing a loyal and buying readership only to see said title get the figurative axe?

Or, is your name Dan Slott, who has given both DC and Marvel such money titles like Arkham Asylum: Living Hell and She-Hulk only to see the same companies kill such winners like Manhunter and The Thing, respectively?

Believe me when I say that I understand your collective pain.  Ya see, I’ve got something that should resolve all of those problems.  Yes, even yours, Dan.  But, before I unveil my intellectual creation, I want to explain the events that lead up to this point where I can offer anyone (yes, even you out there in the teeming Blogville universe) the methods to apply my simple techniques into a big-time winning comic book publisher.  Dying to know, aren’t ya?

It all began a couple of weeks ago when a couple of questions started to kick around in my expansive cranium.  I had just heard about the cancellation of one of my regular monthly titles.  The question was – Why couldn’t this title garner enough readers in order to avoid meeting the business end of the bean counter’s executioner’s blade?  Can all of the blame rest at the creators’ collective feet?  Or were there other factors involved that led to a seemingly good title’s demise?  To me, questions like these cry out to be answered so other generations of quality books can avoid the same fate. 

Like I stated above, the mitigating factor in the increasing cancellation rate of comic books are based on the lack of units sold.  Due to the boom/bust of the early 90s, most comic companies don’t have the luxury of letting a low-selling title gain a big cult following over a sustained length of time anymore.  If you can’t pull the minimum number of units every month (otherwise known as the Chuck Austen Line), your run will be shorter than Johnny Fairplay’s stay on Fear Factor – Reality TV All-Stars.  As the saying goes, it’s not personal; bidnez is just that – bidnez.  

(To tell you the truth, the last book that I can even remember that grew an grass-roots audience was “Powers”.  And even then that book had a ton of things going its way like it was part of Image’s foray back into super-hero comics, the fact that it was heavily acclaimed by the critics and since it was Brian Michael Bendis’ first consequential Big Three book, he plugged the hell out of it.  Really, if he’s like publicity gold for comic books.  No joke; the man is a PR company’s wet dream.) 

Back to the hard sell.  So, what can be done to save these well-liked but never bought comics, you ask?  Well, I’m glad you did.  

This column is being used as a springboard for my patent-pending production model that will revolutionize comic book publishing as we know it (as well as make me into an infomercial force on late night TV).   

It’s called the Trifecta Paradigm System (copyright also pending) and it goes a little something like this.  

There are three major players in making a good comic book into a successful and profitable product – the publisher, the distributor, and the retail/hobby shop owners.  All three parts need to work in concert in order to gain financial freedom. And with the purchase of the Trifecta Paradigm System (or TPS), they can make money hand over fist time and time again without fail. 

Now, I hear all of the doubters out there now saying things like: 

“Doesn’t this sound too good to be true?”Â 
“How can you promise something like this?”
“This guy is so full of it!”Â 

My answers to those questions would be as follows:

“Sure.”
“I’m like Fed-Ex, my man.  I’m not just promising; I’m delivering world-wide.”
“Why do you think that my initials are BS?”Â 

For those others that are still interested, I’ll give you a little taste for free but like your neighborhood drug dealers (or AOL/MSN service providers), the rest is gonna cost you. 

For example, one of the cogs in the comic book machine is the publisher.  Their job is to make the book as cheap as possible while not sacrificing the quality of the book.  However, if the publisher wants to keep their bottom line on production low, why are so many of them making more than one cover?  Variant covers are one of the biggest money pits/scams that is being perpetuated today.  Not only does the publisher have to put out additional bills for the printing and packaging of the different cover, there’s the cost for the cover artists.  Not to mention the possible extra cost of handling said variant differently than the “regular” comics.  Sure, an argument can be made for the scarcity of the books making the book in demand.  However, that is just and artificial attempt in making the book seem “buzz”-worthy.  And just like any product that gives you an artificial buzz, the impending crash can be devastating.  (Being in more meetings that humanly possible, I’ve been on both sides of that mid-morning sugar crash ““ not fun.) 

Another job that is the responsibility of the publisher is the number of units produced.  Sure, the initial cost for printing a comic book is relatively high but why must publishers short their print run?  Printing an additional 20K-30K can be had at a very discounted price so the only reason is that it is just another method of creating an artificial “buzz” on a book due to its limited availability.  Again, most readers will see through that bull crap and playing tricks on your readers won’t make them your readers for much longer. 

So, how can you show these companies, some who are mega-billion dollar corporations with their Harvard-educated presidents of Publishing, the proper and most profitable method of making comic books.  Well, that’s relatively easy.  All you have to do is”¦Â 

Now, do you want to read more of this valuable insight from one of the leading minds in comic book excellence?  Before you ask the price, here’s what you get: 

  • A five-CD detailing each of the three parts of the Trifecta Paradigm System
  • A 100-page workbook to help determine where you, the reader, fit into the TPS
  • A 30-minute phone card with a personal number for yours truly; consider it a personal counseling session with the Preacher hisself
  • An 8″x10″ autographed Glamour Shot of the Preacher suitable for framing
  • The official TPS diagram that reducing all of the knowledge gleamed from the materials into a simple and easy-to-follow diagram

Now, how much would you pay?  $500?  $400?

Since you are a loyal reader of Preachin’ from the Longbox, I’m prepared to offer you this wonderful package of comic book business knowledge for three easy payments of $99 pkus $14.50 Shipping and Handling.

But this offer is only good for the next 15 minutes after reading this column.  Don’t delay; act NOW!

Or you will continue see books that you love go the editorial chopping block and they won’t come back, people.  It’s either that or you can do the unthinkable ““ tell everyone that you know (and even some people that you don’t) about these books that are really perfect examples of how wonderful the comic book medium really is.  And then, just maybe only then, will books like “The Thing” avoid the possibility of becoming the comic books’ next version of Marie Antoinette.  

The PftL Mailbox
 

PftL lifer Eddie C writes: 

“Glad to see your back on the new site. I was worried for a moment that the column was discontinued. Anyway, what happened to the ’email the author’ links at the end of the columns? It was a lot easier, but I’m not complaining.”
 
PftL:  That should be taken care of by this column but thanks for keeping me in your address book. 

“Based on your review of ‘The Batman,’ I think I’ll give it another chance. Only saw a couple episodes from the first season, but I wasn’t too impressed. Didn’t like their version of The Joker at all. He seemed too different from any previous incarnation of The Joker I’d gotten use too (especially B:TAS, but I wasn’t trying to compare it solely to that). Just seemed inconsistent with any other version of the Joker (comics, TV) I ever liked.” 

PftL:  I think that’s the one thing that drew me to the series.  Joker is a wacked-out nutjob.  So, why does he always have to be so nattily attired in a green and purple suit?  Other characters can be redesigned like Scarecrow, Catwoman ““ hell even Robin without a major upheaval by the comic community, so why not Clown Prince of Crime?  Plus he’s supposed to be crazy and if you ever see that one weird smelly guy in the street who talks to himself about his new alien masters, he probably doesn’t have shoes either.
 
“Also, didn’t Bane turn out to be his friend from the police force (voiced by ‘Practice’ actor Steve Harris, can’t remember the character’s name) or did I miss something. Is that how it happened in the comic or was that way off?” 

PftL: Actually that was the Clayface character and again, I like the origin change as well as making it a different person than the comics since it added some pathos to the villain plus gave a Batman more of a personal attachment to his crusade.
 
“Anyway, the stories weren’t too bad (I saw an interesting Catwoman episode, although the plot was all-too familiar) and I’m not against the idea of seeing a different version of Batman. I mean, hey, isn’t that what Frank Miller gave us in his stories and what we saw in the new (and much improved) “Batman Begins” (which of course was inspired in part by Miller’s Year One story). When you think about it, the character has changed so much over the years, so there really is no definitive version of Batman. Different writers and artists bring something new to the character, interpreting him in their own way (well, the good ones at least). That’s what keeps these characters so fresh over so many years. You have to bring something new to the character, while adhering to what’s come before. That is part and parcel to comics, so any true comic fan looking at ‘The Batman’ shouldn’t expect a retread of B:TAS. I agree, they should keep their minds open at least. There are writers who come and go on comic books and some have a deep impact on the character, but you don’t stop reading the book when your favorite writer leaves, do you? Well maybe, but eventually you come back if you like the character enough.” 

PftL: You’re right about the ebb and flow of the superfluous stuff around a character.  I guess that I don’t understand how some readers are so determine to hate something just because it is different that either their expectations or what they consider is the definitive ideal of the character.  Hell, the original Bat-Man used a gun and wore purple gloves.  Sometimes change can be good.  The problem comes, like in any character alive or fictional, when personal growth or development is stunted or shunned.  Then, everything becomes stale.  And that’s boring.

“The Batman’s biggest mistake I suppose was arriving too quickly on the heels of what was probably the best adaptation of Batman ever in animated form. Maybe they should have waited a little. (Just kidding).”

PftL:  I can see that but shockingly enough, the series came out before the movie.  Hey. Was that a jab at me?  Or am I becoming paranoid?  Thanks for the email, Eddie. 

And if you want to be like Eddie and receive word from high upon the Longbox of Wisdom, click the name at the end of the column and send that email.  It won’t hurt and more than likely, you’ll see your email plus whatever I have say (like you care about that) on this here space in future week’s editions.  C’mon, what ‘cha waiting for? 

The One Comic To Keep Your Eye On

Before I start with this one book, I want to offer this disclaimer.  Usually, I don’t offer reviews here on the Quick Stop Entertainment Network for two reasons: 

  • My grasp of the English language is suspect, at best (at least that’s what my Doctor of Rhetorical English brother tells me)
  • And I find that I usually gravitate to books that I like and ignore ones that I don’t (like any book where Rob Liefeld pulls a double-shift since it’s like shooting drunk fish in a fish bowl with a shotgun full of buckshot). 

Now, here’s a PftL review:

 

Emily Edison Cover

 

Emily Edison (Viper Comics)
Writer: David Hopkins
Artist: Brock Rizy
Foreword by Dave Crosland
143 pages; Color, $12.95
All-Ages 

Now this book was not what I expected.  And that’s a good thing.  Emily Edison is a teenaged girl who is joint custody of a poor Earth appliance repairman/inventor and a Royal superwoman from a different plane of existence.  Okay that’s not too weird.  Oh, yeah, her maternal grandfather keeps sending robots over to Earth to conquer it in order for his granddaughter to come back to his world.  Now, that’s something different.  

Hopkins does a good job of conveying the dilemma of Emily and handles the direction of the book’s plot quite nicely.  The dialogue is not forced and Emily, along with most of her supporting cast, are well developed (except for her dad, who does get kind of the shaft as far as character development but that’s a minor setback). 

Rizy’s art has some decent energy within the panels and his influences from Crosland to Mahfood to Morse are very prevalent but his artwork never crosses the line into aping.  The color palette adds some extra funkiness to the scenes and the layout is never too busy or distracts for the action at hand. 

Conceptually, the book is also divided into four chapters, which makes for natural breaks in the action.  And speaking of action, this book is nothing but just that.  Emily Edison is just like a younger Magnus.  She knows how to fight robots and nothing is better than seeing a robot bent on bad things get crushed like an aluminum beer can by a super-powered teenager. 

Emily Edison doesn’t require knowing a ton full of continuity and just throws you right in the action, which makes for a enjoyable read and a head a many of the books already out there now.  Reading the book is almost like going to a matinee to see an animated summertime popcorn movie.  It’s a fun, solid read.  

My only request ““ I want to see a prequel of how the dad and mom got together in the first place.  I’m picturing a cross between Flash Gordon and Adam Strange.  So, David and Brock, get to work.  Bring on the Prequel!

That’s it.  I’m off the Longbox this week.  Thanks for reading.  And don’t forget, guys and gals.  Keep your bags & boards together and your continuity straight.

-britt

* All claims here within are used only for satirical purposes.  The author will not be held accountable if funds are transferred to his PayPal account without any product delivered. * 

Widge Goes Off #3: The Kitchen Pantry of No Return!

Filed under: Widge Goes Off — widge @ 3:01 am
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Welcome back. We have assembled here for fnord purposes that we cannot speak, lest the tin foil hats we wear malfunction and cause our words to be overheard. Therefore, I shall point you to the Podcast.

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has been known to cause disorientation as well as disoccidentation.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (41.9 MBs)

widgepic.jpgThat’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

As for Pirates and Superman, we cover that in the podcast, really. But I’ll just say this here: LMAO. Now, if you want some other commentary on Hollywood and their hit-and-miss love affair with blockbusters, check out Chris Anderson’s Long Tail.

Devil Wears Prada dropped less than fifty percent and was making more per screen than Superman, and will break even by next weekend. Good on Fox for smart planning.

Click has a ways to go before it breaks even, though it broke $100 million. Again, it’s an Adam Sandler film. When he can no longer afford to keep Rob Schneider employed, then you should worry.

Cars will break even over the next two weeks. Has anyone been to EPCOT and seen if they’ve changed the NASCAR ride at all to tie in with this?

Nacho Libre is making profit now, as I said last week. I’m still wondering how it will play south of here, honestly. And I’m terrified at how many Halloween costume ideas it’s spawned.

Lake House and Fast and the Furious 3 are still on the top ten because sometimes the movies above them sell out.

Waist Deep is no doubt turning a profit because it was done on the cheap as mentioned before. It’s also still doing decent per screen takes for the bottom five.

The Break-Up–finally with #10 we come to something that’s turning a good profit. With everything else we’re still waiting for it to build up money in the black or the stuff has a long way to go. So take that for whatever it’s worth.

Join us next time for when we’ll discuss Pirates 2 again, since I doubt anything will rise up to challenge it.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

July 7, 2006

Melonpool Quickcast #3: Ralph Strikes Back!

Filed under: Melonpool Quickcast — admin @ 5:09 pm
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-By Steve Troop

Based on Steve Troop’s classic webcomic of the same name, the Melonpool Quickcast features puppet versions of Troop’s alien cast, who are desperately trying to make heads or tails out of Earth culture.

In a flashback from the 2002 San Diego Comic-Con, Ralph Zinobop interviews some rather familiar-looking Star Wars fans…

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Melonpool Quickcast #3: Ralph Strikes Back!:

  • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 25MB)
  • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 10MB)
  • YouTube

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #11: Evil, Evil Visions

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:48 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #11: Evil, Evil Visions – The subject matter of this week’s Ken P. D. Snydecast leaves Ken with but one thought…”Why?”

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #11 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-11.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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