FRED Entertainment

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

So, I met Simon Pegg last Friday.

Let me preface this by saying not a lot of people of varying celebrity comes here to the desert in Arizona. When you’re here long enough and you literally head out of town, no more than a hour’s drive from any one point in the Valley, you realize Phoenix and its Podunk suburban satellites are the modern day Las Vegas just without pretty lights or pretty ladies. The West is indeed the new South and if the meth labs are any indication, I am hip deep in a hillbilly haven.

So imagine my surprise last week when I was asked to see his new film, HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE, with the opportunity to get up close with the man most celebrated for SPACED, SHAWN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ. I was ecstatic with pleasure and, thankfully the film, which starts Kirsten Dunst, isn’t that bad. It’s pretty damn good and if you had to choose a film where there was something for the ladies and for you dudes this will be the one you will want to see come October 3rd.

However, it was the process of meeting the man that was at both odd and wonderful. Even though I’ll explain further when I run the interview as we get closer to October 3rd I was intrigued by Devin Faraci’s, of CHUD fame, column on the whole SPACED phenomenon as it relates to where they are now should they go back to the well. I was, and am, of the mind that just like the British version of THE OFFICE which was brilliantly done and, much like SPACED, obscenely too short as a series. They both had a lot of say and it’s only our sense of nostalgia and wanting more (it’s the American way!) we want to just to perpetuate what was incredibly wonderful. But, what’s a person to do when the fans want another season or another movie? Pester the shit out of those involved and tell them that they HAVE to do it because YOU want it?

I asked Simon about this very phenomena, tossing the idea that I wasn’t looking for him to tell me if he planned on taking another crack at these characters but just wanting to know if he had plans to go back and collaborate with these same folks. He was rather excited to say that, even regarding SPACED, he did say that there were things he wish he could have tied up better. Further, the story, if he was to go back to it, would be entirely different because it simply would not start up from the last episode (the whole show was about a reality of their shared experiences) but it would be a reflection of the reality of their shared experiences at their current age. What would that SPACED look like? If I had my druthers, and I sure as hell don’t because it’s not my call, they wouldn’t even touch it. Simon did mention that he absolutely wants to go back and collaborate with everyone but to keep this from heading into Oh Don Piano territory I just left it at that. Even if he was absolutely, positively doing something I can 100% guarantee he wouldn’t share the details with some Podunk Arizonan journalist dickhead who was just pleased as punch to meet the man behind one of the greatest shows made for my generation.

2. My Own Picture Of The Weak:

3. Phil Yeh needs some attention and I’m here to pass along some awareness.

As a father of a girl who has now entered kindergarten, as a schmoe who graduated with an English degree and a master’s in Education and as a complete hater of those who are in much higher positions than me, wanting to use our language as an opportunity to disseminate their misspelled ramblings, making me work like a Navajo code talker to figure out what in the world they’re even saying, I want to erase illiteracy in our society.

It’s a given fact that we have over 20-25 million Americans who are functionally illiterate in this country and even though I am a bad ambassador for perfect grammar usage I am a fan of anything that helps kids, exposes them to art and of anyone who wants to make our youth a little smarter. Now, many of you don’t live in Arizona but Phil Yeh, the brilliant creator of DINOSAURS ACROSS AMERICA, a book that exposes children to not only geography but to the graphic novel format, will be in Glendale on September 21st and 22nd to come paint a mural with one of the Simpson’s own principal artists, Phil Ortiz. The man has had a 23 year history of traveling across this land to promote the arts and literacy and here he is to explain what’s behind this. I normally never run these things but, like I said, this is near and dear to my own values as a human being so I thought I would share:

Phil

And an excerpt from the press release:

The artists [will] head for Kidsfaire in the University of Phoenix stadium in Glendale, Arizona, on Saturday and Sunday, September 20 and 21. Special guest artist Spill will join the two Phil’s and hundreds of kids who will help create another work of art. The mural in Arizona is sponsored by Kidsfaire and by the Renaissance Glendale Hotel and Spa and will be donated to the Ronald McDonald House or the Phoenix Children’s Hospital after the event. Yeh, who founded Cartoonists Across America & The World in 1985, is now in the 23rd year of his 25 year long world tour promoting literacy and the arts with humor and cartoons. Since the band was founded, they have painted more than 1800 murals in 49 states and over a dozen countries with hundreds of artists and thousands of kids of all ages. Yeh’s partner on the new “Two Phils Tour” is five time Emmy award-winning cartoonist Phil Ortiz.

So, any desert dwellers who might be around, and who might have some ankle biters at home might do well to patronize this event. I will.

4. Don LaFontaine – R.I.P.

As many of you who frequent this column know that I have always been an advocate or a detractor of Voiceover Guy. This invariably means that I am either pro or con to the creation of a trailer that has a narrative audio track over the action of the piece.

Don, if any of you keep up with this kind of thing, was THE man when it came to the “In a world…” goofiness that has been inexorably linked to some of the most obnoxious trailers ever put into theaters. He made trailers something more than just music videos to sell records, he made them entirely his own. In fact, I attended The Hollywood Reporter’s Key Art Awards ceremony, something to celebrate the best in movie marketing and an absolute blast to attend, where Don was awarded for all the work he’s done in the medium. He made large amounts of money, was THE go-to guy for a lot of these trailers and was revered for being a consummate professional. He absolutely will be missed by me, I know if I didn’t do this job I would never have been so attuned to his influence, and I’ve included a link here to FIVE MEN IN A LIMO which explains everything in a way I can’t begin to describe.

5. Jennifer Goldberg of the Jewish News of Greater Phoenix

This woman deserves a round of applause for a few reasons and one of them being that not only did I forget to bring a camera to the press round table, more like a press round the couch with cookies on the table, for Simon Pegg’s HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE but after the poor girl was trounced in the ensuing scrum to ask Simon and director Robert Weide as many questions as possible in our alloted 20 minute time (it was truly vicious and I am partly to blame for said trouncing) she took a picture of Simon and I with her camera AND sent me the copy of the picture the same afternoon. I don’t, and have never, taken a picture with any of the people I’ve interviewed with the exception of Josh Holloway from LOST and Missy Peregrym of HEROES/REAPER. Simon was someone I at least wanted to get a moment of posterity captured with as long as he was crazy enough to visit Phoenix. The girl had every right to slice me out of the frame and after the fracas was done I wanted to let everyone know she was an excellent person to have in the round table (there are some out there I wish I never have to spend time with again) and if you have a moment visit her work over at Jewish News. What can I say, it’s the Catholic guilt…

Now, on with the show…

WHAT JUST HAPPENED? (2008)

Director: Barry Levinson
Cast: Robert De Niro, Bruce Willis, John Turturro, Robin Wright Penn, Stanley Tucci, Catherine Keener
Release: October 3, 2008
Synopsis: What Just Happened? is a winningly sharp comedy about two nail-biting, back-stabbing, roller-coaster weeks in the world of a middle-aged Hollywood producer — as he tries to juggle an actual life with an outrageous series of crises in his day job. Academy Award® winning director Barry Levinson reunites with Academy Award® winning actor Robert De Niro and leading producer Art Linson, who wrote the screenplay based on his bestselling memoir. They all join with an all-star cast in this rollicking, shrewd tale of a man besieged by people who want him all to be sorts of things — a money maker, an ego buster, a bad news breaker, an artistic champion, a loyal husband, an all-knowing father, not to mention sexy, youthful and tuned-in ““ everything except for the one thing he and all the preposterously behaved people he’s surrounded by really are: bumbling human beings just trying to survive by any means necessary.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. I love films like this.

Any kind of satirical look at the entertainment industry’s preoccupation with childish behind-the-scenes antics could keep me entertained for hours on end. What the problem with this is, though, is that 95% of the rest of Middle America could give a shit. As long as everyone involved in the making of this picture knows that a film like this is going be middling at the box office, and that’s best-case scenario, then we’ve got a winner. However, I think this film will take on a meta quality when the same elements that befall Robert De Niro will also befall some real idiot as this film tracks closer to release.

It’s not that people don’t want to know the snarkyness, pettiness and every other ““ness you want to toss in there, they do, but unless you’re the talent and you’re being featured on Access Hollywood you aren’t really of much concern to people, And that’s what concerns me about this movie and, subsequently, its trailer.

Many people levied the attack against TROPIC THUNDER that it stopped short. That it had so many other opportunities to really skewer the system it was trying to dress down. I would assert that it didn’t need to insofar that the kind of box office returns it is experiencing is due to its storytelling. Any further, you see, and you risk alienating those who “wouldn’t get it.” You cannot make a movie too insider and TROPIC THUNDER should be applauded for knowing how thin that satirical line really is. This flick, though, knows it but obviously doesn’t care.

I love Robert in the opening. Even though having someone in their bed, having your character start off in their bed is about the laziest device you can employ, Bobby makes it work as he begins his day lying. I completely get it right from the start and it’s nice to see how sharp things get from here.

From the detached father who can’t seem to do anything right but fuck his own life up at the expense of moving pictures. His blow out in a therapist’s office is enough to know that we’re not getting FOCKERS De Niro but a De Niro that seems genuine.

I equally adore Catherine Keener’s quip to the tortured director who has his own vision for what his film should be only to have her threaten to take the movie back and cut it herself if he doesn’t capitulate to the studio’s demands. It’s downright thrilling to see it dramatized like it is.

There’s something to be said, as well, for bringing real actors into the mix. When we hear a phone call to Robert about Bruce Willis, a star of a production that he’s bird-dogging, being fat and donning facial hair, all of which could constitute a lawsuit against Bobby for misrepresentation you can’t believe this would be the thing that people get litigious about.

Add into the mix the kind of personal backstabbing and infidelity that you would expect out of your high school buddies, not those running and developing multi million dollar projects, and you have something volatile but so attractive. As you have Bruce Willis talking about the base and depraved maniacs who are responsible for running the asylum that is Hollywood there are certain feelings of unease that you should start feeling. This is a rough place that is only understood by taking the approach that this is indeed high school and there is nothing that seems sacred to any of these desperate people.

How this will play to those who live in Kansas, however, is something I can already foresee as an issue that Magnolia Pictures will have to overcome if they expect anyone besides me to pay for a ticket.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (2008)

Director: David Fincher
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Elias Koteas, Jason Flemyng, Julia Ormond
Release: December 19, 2008
Synopsis: “I was born under unusual circumstances.” And so begins “Benjamin Button,” adapted from the classic 1920s story by F. Scott Fitzgerald about a man who is born in his eighties and ages backwards. A man, like any of us, unable to stop time. We follow his story set in New Orleans from the end of World War I in 1918, into the twenty-first century, following his journey that is as unusual as any man’s life can be. Directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett with Tilda Swinton, Taraji P. Henson, Jason Flemyng, Elias Koteas and Julia Ormond, “Benjamin Button,” is a time traveler’s tale of the people and places he bumps into along the way, the loves he loses and finds, the joys of life and the sadness of death, and what lasts beyond time.

View Trailer:
* Take Your Pick (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. I won’t even bother to find out anything more about this movie until an English trailer comes out.

One of the benefits of being a dude like me is that I’m woefully inept at keeping up with whatever project this guy or that guy is doing. Sure, I have my regulars who I keep tabs on, Aronofsky, the Coens, Nolan but Fincher is someone who I try not to read too much about for the simple reason that he’s best left to do what he does. ZODIAC was a surprise to a lot of people, and if you think it wasn’t you’re a liar and a thief, myself included, but I’ve always loved to see what else he comes up with next.

One of the problems with filmmakers like Bay or Shyamalan is that they’re completely niche guys who will never really move out of their wheelhouse; they’re comfortable in it, and no one really should be that disappointed with where they’ve decided their strengths are, but there’s nothing to them that would ever get me excited because it’s going to be a take on a very similar theme with these dudes.

With Fincher, though, he’s willing to experiment with different things, although I would kill to see a comedy directed by that guy, and this film just has me hooked from the very first moment I saw it. I’m not one to enjoy period pieces, Lord knows how much energy it takes for me to give up my sense of disbelief when I know everything on the screen was manufactured to look the way it does but this film just has a different taste to it.

It’s that music in the beginning that is at once haunting and alluring.

It’s the twinkle twinkle of the keys, reminiscent of something you would hear out of the Nutcracker suite, and the close up of the clock, its hands moving back one notch, which is quite effective.

Now, the backward motion of the video, where once there was forward movement I almost took exception toward but it’s the baby being left on some steps that had me wondering what was going on. The baby itself seemed to provoke something visceral in the people who it was left with but I got it. I understood that this trailer wants me to start thinking in terms that aren’t necessarily straightforward but it absolutely rewards you for looking at this thing with a little but of openness.

I’m not certain about a lot it but there is a moment where there is a boat at sea, a bucket of feathers fills the air and it seems like it’s a fairly innocuous moment but it’s drenched in some heavy cinematographic spookiness that you hardly believe this wasn’t helmed by Tim Burton. Further, Fincher surprises with a “battle at sea” moment that honestly. for the few seconds we’re treated to it, seems like something genuinely thrilling.

Again, I’m usually all over a trailer if it wants to be too arty in its presentation but I don’t think that’s what afoot here. Fincher, perhaps, knows that to get people to buy into, one, a period piece would be difficult, two, try to explain a story that was at once a novel in a trailer would be damn near impossible without befuddling Ma and Pa Kettle and, three, having Pitt shown in the most un-sexual sort of way, his obvious transition into younger manhood would take a while to get to. Hence, what we get here is a lovely mix of opaque confusion about the story but getting a dollop of excitement to swallow it all down with.

In so many ways I am willing to spend whatever it takes to see this film. Fincher has thankfully not followed the ways of so many of his equals in churning out movies that have that sheen of their watermark; he is constantly trying to stretch his abilities and experiments with the process of film making. Hopefully he’s got the right combination of both aptitude and execution.

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I’m awesome. I wrote a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

1. Quick note: Those fly brothers over at ScreenGeeks Radio put me on their radio podcast a couple of weeks ago to talk about Comic-Con 2008. Run, don’t even think of walking, to download my hotness. Seriously, these guys are passionate and love movies plus they’ve got a great attitude when talking about they like or don’t like; it’s such a unique show that it deserves to be one of those you listen to on the treadmill or on your way to grab another dozen doughnuts. Listen to it and be amazed at how much I sound like Romano.

2. Now, there is movie talk ahead. Trust me.

If you’re not familiar with “The Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi do yourself, and your conscious, a favor and start talking about how shoddily its foundation was constructed and how it cares as much about facts as the Nazi’s cared about keeping meticulous records of the number of Jews they exterminated. Don’t worry about not having read it. Just use words like “poorly written”, “fueled by spurious personal opinion” or even “laughable in the way the Republican wheels of incompetence are desperately trying to hold on to their stranglehold to the throats of bumpkins and idiots who don’t know that President Bush is indeed the worst president we’ve ever had.” As Bill Hicks would have said, “This isn’t a matter of taste, or perception, I can prove this on an Etch-A-Sketch.”

Quite true, Bill. And, for those keeping score at home, let’s hope one of the candidates get you moving in the direction of the voting booth. John McCain is from my state, in fact my family worked on some of that geezer’s furniture for one of those residences he doesn’t know much about, and I don’t want him anywhere near that house on Pennsylvania Avenue. It breaks my heart to know the way the electoral college works, all the fuck tards I live with in this state who would rather keep the Bush legacy alive for another four years will negate my vote for someone who I might be able to be inspired by (Thanks, Founding Fathers! Jerk offs…) that doesn’t mean I’ll not be going to the polls. In fact, I wish to be more active this time around in the divine hope I’ll be able to cut through the bullshit and see which puppet will screw me less come January, the one on the left or the one on the right.

So what the hell does this mean for movies?

Absolutely nothing. Well, there is the notion that there is a slight (read: huge) disconnect with the way Hollywood portrays democrats and the reality that is this party for the last eight years. The reality is not a Michael Douglas AMERICAN PRESIDENT kind of person but, rather, they’ve been nothing but capitulating lap dogs who seem to have forgotten how to bring a fight to those who would have no problem labeling them baby eating devil worshipers. James Carville was right when he mentioned that night one of the DNC was devoid of any message. If you want to sum up everything you’ll read about what the democrats will need to do to take back the White House it will be as easy as this: fight the fuck back. This is not a time to try and be rational with a populace who you think will see between the lines because, let’s be honest, the populace is dumb. They’re cattle who don’t know better and if there isn’t anything done about attacking back (this isn’t to say you need to be mean about it. Bringing up Cindy McCain’s drug use would be perfectly fine I would think.) we’re going to have to endure G.W. Bush II which, if you judge his voting record in the senate, is damn near accurate.

As well, with regard to how this relates to movies, I should make it known that while I haven’t reviewed it here in my column, Oliver Stone’s W. has recently surfaced in trailer form. If you have not yet watched it, I would recommend looking at it and thinking about the ramifications of Stone’s intent to have this released before the election. I’m kind of torn about whether these kinds of movies influence the kind of opinion that would matter. I would almost definitely assert that it wouldn’t. For all the reasons that FAHRENHEIT 9/11 didn’t make the kind of splash its supports through it would it could be the same reasons why this won’t either. It bums me out to admit but honestly could any of you see patrons of this movie staggering out of the film like they’ve been cleansed by some kind of Scientology orientation video? No, but I am hopeful that this will be the kind of film that energizes the base of folks who need to start thinking for themselves, the issues and to get out there and vote. One way or another, people.

3. Ashley Bouque. I work with this woman and she sent me an amusing Photoshop, even if it does look like it was done by a 7 year-old who just discovered the program, but that’s not why I bring this up.

I am completely addicted to the show HARD KNOCKS on HBO. I know I am missing some chromosome in that I am not really that enthralled with football. I’m a disgrace to my gender but even though I’ll tolerate the lumbering actions of a pack of meat heads I have been glued to my reality television show, KNOCKS, on my pay cable. It’s following the Dallas Cowboys and I shouldn’t like this program. I shouldn’t.

But I have been sucked in by the behind-the-scenes drama that has turned some of these players who haven’t been guaranteed a spot on the team into hopefuls that you can’t help but follow like sad puppies who need homes. I think the slickness of the eventual players on the field, with the egos you just love to hate, account for why this sport just doesn’t hold weight for me but KNOCKS pulls back the pomp and circumstance of these padded warriors and, gasp, makes them genuine human beings. I’m about 4 weeks into watching this thing and I cannot get enough. Some of you lazy assholes who think working out is grabbing the remote from the kitchen might not agree but for those of you who have a dream and see it ultimately snatched away because you simply just aren’t that good will absolutely understand why this is reality television worth watching.

Now, on with the show…

ROCKNROLLA (2008)

Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jeremy Piven, Idris Elba, Tom Wilkinson
Release: October 31, 2008
Synopsis: When a Russian mobster orchestrates a crooked land deal, millions of dollars are up for grabs, and all of London’s criminal underworld wants in on the action. Everyone from a dangerous crime lord to a sexy accountant, a corrupt politician and down-on-their-luck petty thieves conspire, collude and collide with one another in an effort to get rich quick.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. This film looks virtually unwatchable.

I will mention, as a point of disclosure, that I am a big fan of SNATCH. I thought the film not only brought me to a place where I could appreciate Guy Ritchie’s flavor as a filmmaker but I was astounded at how much Brad Pitt made that film absolutely riveting. It was an amalgam of so many different postmodern crime film elements that you had to wonder what was going to come out of this talented guy. Guy didn’t think, however, to make any changes to his style or tone. I mean, seriously, raise your hand if you think that every Guy Ritchie picture has been just a variation of SNATCH. By the look of palms that are up in the air I would pretty much say all of you agree. And for good reason. I don’t know what a dramatic shift of perspective would mean from this dude but if SWEPT AWAY is any indication he has been to the other side and does not like what he sees.

This trailer, though, just looks like balls.

There was some promise in the grittiness of what this movie could be, you have Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Jeremy Piven and few more supporting guys that know how to carry themselves well enough in ensemble pieces, and the opening shuck and jive of some shirtless wanker with a pistol could have been pretty effective. The narration and, additionally, the definition of a RocknRolla was excellent. I damn near forgave Guy for churning out yet another sequel to SNATCH.

That’s when Tom Wilkinson enters the picture and it’s like a sack full of quarters smacking you in the nipples: he’s channeling Alan Ford, Brick Top. In cadence, in mannerisms, it’s embarrassing. Now, I know Tom was just there to do a part but Guy’s making a sinister misstep if he thinks no one is going to draw comparisons straight to this.

Further, now we’re introduced to the New School, whatever the fuck that means. All I know is Tom has a discussion with someone about seven million euros, it gets repeated a couple of times, Thandie Newton is introduced, and I couldn’t care less. It’s a momentum stopper because I have no clue what seven million euros is supposed to mean! There’s nothing to tell me why I should care about any of this.

But never mind that, Guy seems to say, because here is the Wild Bunch, I guess they’re supposed to be wild, because that’s what they’re called, but it’s without question embarrassing to see Gerard playing the part of some boob, Yeah, I can’t really figure out what he’s supposed to be but shuffling on a dance floor like a complete moron doesn’t help his cause as someone I should give two shits about. It’s almost like those moments where you’re watching something completely embarrassing but this moment is so unrelated to anything going on in the film that I wonder what paint shaker this clip was pulled from. The robbery/carjacking scene doesn’t help, either; Gerard does not play a moron well.

Then, to add to the flavor of this putrid soup I guess there’s something to do with a missing person, but I can’t really tell by the piss poor execution of how we’re supposed to get a clue to this film’s actual aim. What’s more is that, like in SNATCH, we have lots of colorful characters and, surprise surprise, we even have war criminals on the hunt as well, like in SNATCH.

I don’t really know what else to say other than it’s a bad sign when I think that the animation and quick cuts at the end of this trailer is perhaps the best thing about this film. There’s no way it could live up to the exciting and scintillating premise that it tries to cook up in its final moments because they already gave me 2+ minutes to completely refute everything it’s trying to sell me.

Put this in my rental queue and wake me up when it comes in my mailbox.

EAGLE EYE (2008)

Director: DJ Caruso
Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, Anthony Mackie and Billy Bob Thornton
Release: September 26, 2008
Synopsis: In the fast-paced race-against-time-thriller “Eagle Eye” Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan are two strangers who become the pawns of a mysterious woman they have never met, but who seems to know their every move. Realizing they are being used to further her diabolical plot, they must work together to outwit the woman before she has them killed.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. If you want to know why Hollywood will never be able to shake its superficially-challenged image look no further than this trailer.

What’s so problematic about this trailer isn’t so much about the lack of coherent plot, there’s enough of that in here, but it’s how unnecessary and stupid the premise seems to be. I get that there are some abominable premises that have made great films but the execution and what I am asked to buy into here is just absurd.

I damn near bought into the thing as the first few seconds of the trailer seem effective; the cinematography, the absence of a voice over, the way we’re sort of led into our own interpretation of what’s happening on the screen almost got me.

However, what I initially thought was a unique take on a film like MONEY FOR NOTHING just takes a gimp, lame turn as LaBeouf returns home after scoring big at the ATM only to find sacks and sacks of ammonium nitrate, pistols and scads of other things that would make even a gun runner roll his eyes. Now, here’s where I start having a major problem. As if the ATM moment was something I was willing to accept, it was the ringing cell phone and Shia finding out he has 30 seconds to leave his apartment because the FBI is on its way.

Huh?

I can only imagine it was some asshole screenwriter who makes more money in a week to come up with this shit who convinced someone that this was an amazing idea. But, it wouldn’t be so bad, believe it or not, if it wasn’t for the moment after he’s taken into FBI custody (for who knows what besides the obvious) and gives them the whole “It was the one armed man” excuse about being set up for some unknown reason. No, it’s the moment after he gets his one phone call, and it’s that same sultry bitch who told him he had 30 seconds to leave his apartment before telling him he now has 10 seconds to get down.

Of course, from here it just goes off that special deep end that only movies can do. The office where he’s being held by the FBI gets demolished, no joke, by a fucking crane a la SPIDER-MAN 3. Not only that but there is the most unbelievable moment where the news scroll at street level tells LaBeouf to jump out of the window. So, he jumps. I repeat, after reading that he needs to jump from the window, he jumps.

I could care less what this movie is supposed to be about. After watching this trailer I cannot think that anything this movie has to offer can be anything worth paying to watch. I understand it’s all about the unbelievable but this film can’t do anything but be the harbinger for the decline of western civilization.