FRED Entertainment

May 13, 2010

Bagged & Boarded 55: Dr. Crazy Asian Man and “The Lady-Boners”

Filed under: Bagged & Boarded — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:06 am

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What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.

Are they heroes?

No.

Are they geniuses?

Far from it.

Are they the future of this planet?

I sure hope not.

Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.

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BAGGED & BOARDED #55: Dr. Crazy Asian Man and “The Lady-Boners” – In which Matt and Jesse meet an incredibly racist new friend, discuss some exciting new developments for the future of the podcast, and attempt to invent a new nickname for female masturbation. Totally safe for work… if your boss is awesome.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #55 (MP3 format)

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Got something to say? E-mail Matt & Jesse at the B & B mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE BAGGED & BOARDED ARCHIVES

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May 12, 2010

Soapbox: SUMMER HOURS

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , — Aaron @ 5:24 pm

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SUMMER HOURS

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summer_hours_dvd_coverThe family that Olivier Assayas tracks with his latest film, Summer Hours, is such a well-to-do, bourgeois clan that, initially, one can scarcely imagine many people identifying with them, particularly in a global economy that has placed millions of previously middle-class citizens in a position lower than that of this family’s maidservant. And yet the film remains one of the most profoundly humanistic and relatable movies of recent years. It is a work of quiet grace, a gliding, meditative elegy that passes over generation gaps so gently and effortlessly that the poetry of its movement alone exposes the fragility of such a compartmentalizing concept.

The film opens upon, and symbolically concerns, a quaint manor in the south of France, one of the world’s most beautiful regions. The people there are, if at all possible, more stereotypically self-absorbed and haughty (and therefore “French”) than the Parisians, but it is exceedingly difficult to fault them for feeling superior in such a place. Many French productions exist only to show other countries, and remind its own citizens, of the South’s beauty, and part of Summer Hours’ charm is its sly adherence to this style for just the right amount of time to make us think that it’ll be yet another artistic tourist video before heading in another direction.

Instead, Assays focuses upon that wonderful brand of refined middle-class folk who populate the region, here typified by Hélène, a 75-year-old connoisseur who is as much a curator of her home as she is a resident. A fearsome matriarch, Hélène filters her considerable knowledge through the mannerisms and directness of a mother. She has that ability to calmly, even lovingly, point out flaws in her children’s professional and private lives, speaking without judgment as if her criticisms are facts and therefore not worth editorializing upon. Played by Edit Scob, 72 at the time of filming, Hélène scarcely looks 60 and would look even younger if not for her silvery hair; like her house, Hélène is immaculately preserved. (It has always puzzled me why so many Europeans went off to die in the Everglades looking for the secret to youth when it clearly existed somewhere in France already.)

So sharp is the matriarch that she knows her days are numbered. At the 75th birthday party that opens the film, one of her sons, Frédéric (Charles Berling) gives her a cordless telephone set, and the woman who immediately afterward receives a French translation of an art textbook to proofread suddenly looks confused and ignorant as she takes one look at the phone and its accessories and throws up her hands. Hélène takes Frédéric aside to discuss her will. Here the film ceases to be a paean to Southern France and becomes something far deeper. The son, the only of the three children to still live in France ““ Adrienne (Juliette Binoche) lives in America designing for a Japanese company, while Jérémie (Jérémie Renier) has relocated to China as an executive for shoe company Puma ““ wishes to hear none of this morbid talk, and he assures his mother that the various artworks and artifacts that line the manor shall pass down the line. But Hélène knows better, and she gives her son instructions on what to sell and how to divide the effects and the house.

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A few months later, Hélène dies, an event left entirely off-screen. There are no long shots of Hélène tending her garden and collapsing à la Vito Corleone, no jarring telephone rings in the middle of the night; Assayas merely cuts from a cold, literally blue shot of the old woman sitting in her vacant home and Frédéric discussing burial plots with a funeral director. It is at this moment that the film truly begins and, while the narrative itself continues to slowly and unremarkably progress, it also marks the moment where Summer Hours begins to rapidly set itself apart from its contemporaries. The elision over the typical cinematic details as seen in the jump between life and death starts a recurring subversion of nearly all the screenwriting tropes that come with what could condescendingly be called “this kind of movie”.

Watch the way the three children interact with each other when the time comes to discuss the inheritance. Frédéric assumes that his siblings will want to keep the house in the family, as he does, but Adrienne and Jérémie clearly do not agree. Yet neither openly states dissent, sheepishly mentioning how far away they live (Adrienne even says that she’s been living away so long that France itself holds little intrinsic value). They also do not say aloud that Hélène was the only reason the siblings ever got together anymore, and her funeral will likely be the trio’s last time together for years. Frédéric understands his siblings perfectly without them outright saying it. Later, when he and Jérémie discuss appraisals and tax deductions with an adviser, Jérémie lets slip that he’d spoken with his own realtor about selling the house for some time, which the more sentimental brother notes but does not use as the basis for some melodramatic attack. Assayas is above such shortcuts, preferring instead to show these people as actual people.

Indeed, were it not for the advanced camera movements, one might mistake Summer Hours for docufiction. So many of the film’s indelible “little moments” stand out because they feel as if we are being allowed to share them with these characters rather than advance trite character development. When Adrienne mentions her engagement, the brothers and their spouses slowly crack up with amusement, moving from the tittering, nervous inhalations of suppressed giggles to open laughter. We are not told what, exactly, went wrong with Adrienne’s previous engagement, which is right. As it is, the moment is warm and quietly revealing, telling the audience about Adrienne’s impulsiveness and the teasing and distant but loving dynamic between the siblings without wasting time with a story that has no sway on this narrative. By way of comparison, watch the scene early in Attack of the Clones in which Obi-Wan and Anakin make awkward, meaningless chat over a “nest of gundarks” that gives us no insight into its characters and instead clangs like a wrench bouncing off the wall of a canyon.

There must be some point to all of this, however, and the key to the film lies in the manor. Frédéric does not wish to part with his mother’s house because of the memories it contains; the extreme value of the artwork Hélène stored in her home means less to the son than the memories they connote. Thus, the pieces of art and architecture that pass from the family to private collectors and to museums for the tax write-off stand as blatant symbols, but symbols whose meaning speaks to the characters more than the analyst in the theater. It is, after all, silly to place such import on trinkets, but Assayas uses Summer Hours to examine how ordinary, even banal objects, gain importance, be it artistic or personal. Many of the house’s most valuable paintings are the work of one man, Hélène’s uncle. Hélène kept them because of her close, possibly very close relationship with him – this too is left largely unsaid and leads to a character insight rather than a mystery – and through her eyes we see these invaluable originals as naught but sentimental sketches given to a muse as a gift.

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Adrienne and Jérémie have little time for such reflection, blithely taking stock of their mother’s effects so that they may sell them and return to life outside of France. These are not bad people, of course, but they have their own set of priorities. They are modern people, connected to the businesses that employ them instead of outdated ideas of settlement and lineage.

It’s a typically American point of view, given our own shallow past and the perception of the nation as a place to start all over and make a new life. In fact, the younger characters of Summer Hours subtly reflect a mindset that has become as much American as French. Adrienne lives in New York with her American fiancé, and the children of the brothers are – like all youngsters, we’re told – infatuated with American fads. Jérémie represents the speed with which people can adapt now to new environments, what with his flippant attitude toward moving halfway around the world for work. He mentions that his daughter will spend a term in San Francisco, the city where Asian immigrants traditionally landed; his daughter not only wants to see the America she’s fascinated with but she’ll arrive more as a Chinese visitor instead of a French one, vaguely reminiscent of the pure-French Arielle referred to as “La Chinoise” in Arnaud Desplechin’s Kings and Queen.

That these Americanized characters are chiefly unconcerned with the artifacts being auctioned and donated without a second thought should not, in my humble view, be seen as some sort of attack on the United States (although one could easily make that case, given the rabid anti-French sentiment egged on for nearly all of Bush’s years in office and Hollywood’s ever-strengthening chokehold on genuinely artistic cinema). Rather, Assayas considers how modernization shapes culture: in the age of the Internet, instant worldwide connection erases, at least partially, cultural divisions – is the censorship of Google or Twitter not the modern sign of a repressive regime? When a group of visiting American teenagers walks among the family’s donations in the Musée d’Orsay they look and act no different from the French teens, who would likely be just as bored by the tour. Thus, we have all become one people, which is great, but unification brings with it side-effects: if everyone adopts one civilization and one language, what will become of the art that is tied to a specific culture?

Summer Hours remains a quietly incisive film after multiple viewings precisely because it finds the intersection between these larger concerns and the more personal ruminations on changing generational attitudes toward tradition, even family. Adrienne and Jérémie have drifted away from home, and Hélène’s grandchildren appear even more separated from the passion of the older generation. As such, Summer Hours calls to mind the work of the Japanese legend Ozu Yasujiro, that great cartographer of the generation gap and family relations. Ozu has long been misinterpreted, by those who only watched Tokyo Story and decided to extrapolate an entire career from it, as a director who lamented the passing of the older generation and looked down upon the modernized youth. While Ozu certainly eyed the Western influence on culture and tradition with suspicion, even regret, his attitude toward characters was always nonjudgmental, just as Assayas’ is with these characters. He does not write off Sylvie, Frédéric’s teenage daughter, as just another dead-eyed, shiftless millennial, nor does he condemn the two ex-pat siblings for abandoning their heritage.

Instead, the director gently sculpts these characters, giving them such dimension that the story and themes come naturally from them. Adrienne, who hypocritically disapproves of Jérémie working for a company that exploits cheap labor while wearing a pair of Converse sneakers made the same way, would in any other film be the flighty, self-absorbed bitch denied her chance to prove any hint of humanity until a hackneyed breakthrough near the end. Here, however, she displays three-dimesionality from the start, setting aside her modern conventions to marvel over an old, silver platter, justifying her admiration of it to her mother by claiming that beauty is beauty, regardless of age. Later, as appraisers storm the house to attach price tags to everything, Adrienne discovers the platter and can barely contain her pure joy, and we see that even a whimsical nomad like her can assign meaning and memories to objects just as strongly as the more sedentary and traditional.

Perhaps the influence of such artistic keepsakes can be traced to the participation of the Musée d’Orsay, which not only loaned the art but funded the film as part of their recent focus on making films as a way of expanding the museum’s artistic boundaries. But the relation between objects and assigned importance has purportedly been a recurring theme in Assayas’ corpus, of which I must shamefully admit ignorance. The director certainly uses this partnership to its fullest potential, and the artwork he places in Hélène’s estate is as priceless as it is perfectly suited for the film. Apart from the use of Jean Berthier as the matriarch’s famous uncle, Assayas particularly highlights a few works by Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot and Odilon Redon. Corot, one of the great landscapists, operated in the nebulous territory between the Neo-Classical movement and Impressionism. Classical art strove to depict subjects as they were, while Impressionism captures subjects as they strike the artist. Summer Hours, with its honest depiction of character and its analytical probing of inanimate objects until they take on a resonance, could be said to walk the line between the two as well. One should also remember that Impressionism grew, in part, out of the redundancy of realistic art in the face of the invention of the camera, a technological development that reshaped art as a response. Redon, on the other hand, was a Symbolist painter, though the designation suggests a more didactic approach than the artist really took. “My drawings inspire, and are not to be defined,” he once said. “They place us, as does music, in the ambiguous realm of the undetermined.” Summer Hours contains plenty of symbolic imagery to chew on, but Assayas’ structuring of the material places it in a more contemplative context than one that stresses its message over all else.

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But I fear that I’m losing control of this review now. Discussing Summer Hours can be a tricky proposition, as so much of its power and insight is directly tied to what’s on-screen. It is easy, for instance, to point out an arcing track-pan of a shot of a desk in the Musée d’Orsay after being moved from Hélène’s house and say that it symbolizes the ephemeral nature of the transformation of an object from something of deep personal significance to a sealed-off artifact to be disinterestedly ignored by schoolkids. In that one shot is the crux of the argument that modernization desensitizes and demystifies us all, that email and planned obsolescence of so many of our goods will rob everything of its spiritual value, that nothing will even last long enough to gain significance.

Far more difficult, however, is putting into words just why that shot can evoke a deep sadness and a sense of loss, even in this Mac-loving, nature-averse writer. Or why pointing out the scene’s symbolism is less fulfilling and thought-provoking than simply recalling a moment early in the film when Frédéric tours his kids through the house and recounts the history of the paintings and tries to sell the children on it just like the tour guide trying in vain to hook the teens in the museum. “It’s from another era,” the kids flatly tell their deflated father. This scene is echoed once more at the end, when Sylvie invites her friends to the gutted manor to give it a sort of farewell party, where the kids kick around footballs and blare music as if living out their fantasy vision of a museum field trip.

Yet it is this coda that cements Summer Hours as more than just the patient but cranky rambling of a ranting old man. As the teens smoke and drink and generally font les quatre cents coups, Sylvie and her boyfriend move to the outskirts of the garden, where the previously bored young woman quietly reflects upon her own memories in the house and wonders whether she will lose something she cannot get back when the house changes hands. “It’s my youth,” Hélène told Frédéric when she surprisingly surrendered her family’s hold upon the artwork stored in her house, and the meaning of that dismissal becomes clear only at the end. As he has delved into this topic before, the director by now understands that our own attachments to trinkets and keepsakes cannot be transferred to another. Hélène understands this too, so she releases her family from the burden of hanging on to objects that can never mean as much to them as they do to her, and in the process she frees them to build their own collections, whatever they may be. Thus, a relatively plot-less film ends with the director releasing his final major character, setting Sylvie off to make her own story, one that will make an interesting update of this one in a few decades.

When I first saw Summer Hours in a cozy arthouse in Columbus, Ga., I knew instantly that I’d seen one of the most charming, insightful and meditative films in recent years. Repeat viewings only enhance the feelings of regret, acceptance and hope as the familiarity these characters already exhibit with each other becomes ours as well. Open without being obvious, thematically occupied without losing its human element, elusive in a manner that makes everything inescapably clear, Summer Hours has a piercing vision but a soft touch. So very little actually happens, and yet every shot reveals something – an interaction, a reflection, a thematic advancement – and gives the feeling of immediacy despite its lax pace. At various stages in the development of this review, I pointed to one aspect of the film as being the most arresting, yet as I continued to write I would erase the last assertion to spotlight something else as the film’s true triumph. After watching it again, I think I know at last what truly makes the film so memorable: every time this film is set to make the usual cinematic choice, it doesn’t. What does it say about the state of cinema, then, that each of these diversions feels truer to life than anything playing at the megaplex?

Summer Hours is available now on DVD and Blu-Ray from the Criterion Collection. The Blu-Ray boasts excellent color levels (particularly the greens of the estate’s gardens) and a nuanced DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack. Included in both versions are: an informative half-hour interview with Olivier Assayas, who describes how the project came to be and how his interests and those of the Musée d’Orsay aligned; a half-hour making-of documentary; and another, hour-long doc titled Inventory, which details the art loaned to Assayas for the film and the way it is used. Also included is a booklet featuring an essay by British critic and editor-at-large of Film Comment, Kent Jones, who pens for Assayas’ first entry in the Criterion Collection an introductory (and personal) overview of the director’s career in addition to his appraisal of this film. Praising Criterion’s Blu-Ray treatments is becoming an increasingly redundant gesture, but it’s fascinating to see how a simple, quiet film like this can be just as gorgeous as the company’s restoration of Days of Heaven and its flawless presentation of the digitally shot Che. The set comes almost as highly recommended as the film itself.

–Jake Cole

Interview: Charlie Craig

Filed under: Interviews — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:58 pm

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craigThe real action on a television set doesn’t happen in front of the camera. Behind the scenes the show’s producers wear every possible hat – they pitch the pilot, write the scripts, hire actors, and oversee film editing. Over the years that job has become even more complex. As cable has broadened the creative possibilities and show topics are more niche, creators have had to expand their knowledge base.

Charlie Craig knows this better then anyone. He was a writer and supervising producer on The X-Files and, more recently, executive producer of Eureka, one of SyFy channel’s most highly rated shows. Today he spends his days writing pilots and pitches for new shows. Craig talked to Erin Biba about the balancing act of making a show from pitch to production.

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ERIN BIBA: How many show ideas do you have to come up with before you get one on the air?

CRAIG: When I started doing this 25 years ago you came up with an idea and could go and pitch it to all the different studios and networks and one would like it. But now there are many more networks, which sounds good from a writer’s standpoint, but each one of those networks has an extremely particular set of criteria for what they want to put on the air. It’s narrowcasting.

I have a deal with Fox 21, which is a studio, to make pilots. Every idea is just good for one network and if they don’t like it I have to throw it out and come up with a new idea. It’s become much more difficult. You’d think with all these networks you’ve got it made.

When I started in 1985 Kate & Allie was the only half hour comedy in the top 20 and there were only basically three networks. When you came up with an idea your agent got excited and said: “Let’s go pitch to the three networks on Friday and one of them will outbid the other.”

Flash forward to today and there are more networks then I can count and even networks you don’t think are in the live action business are starting to get into it like Cartoon Network. To succeed and realize some level of potential each network has had to carve up the spectrum of public interest into a particular slice.

BIBA: So, realistically, you have to come up with a lot more then one idea.

CRAIG: Right. I have to say: who’s the idea for and does it appeal to enough people that I’m not limiting myself to a niche? It’s no longer good enough to just have an interesting idea for a television show. That is the starting place. Now it has to be: that’s interesting but what niches can it go into? My work has quadrupled. It’s not just about a good idea.

Now I have to come up with 8 new ideas every year and that’s a lot work.

You hope to find something that sparks you and run it by your agent and hope he doesn’t say: “They tried that a CBS and it didn’t work out. Everything on TV is already like that and ratings aren’t very good.” The hardest thing is not psyching yourself out. There’s a five-minute lag after coming up with something when your brain starts to generate ideas about why it’s not good

With the incredible number of networks there’s a greater sense of frenzy. There’s a bit of a frantic nature now — pitching a show is much more complex and much more hurried than it used to be.

BIBA: Do you worry that your show concepts aren’t as good because you’ve had to significantly increase the volume of what you’re putting out?

All good ideas become diluted because that’s the process of television. Honestly, some of the best work I’ve done has been when somebody threw an idea at me and said: “If you can do this in a week we’ll put it on the air.” There is no safety net, you can’t fail because everyone else already has, and in this amount of time who would expect me to succeed anyway? Whatever I come up with will be fresh and accessible. That frees your mind. Some of the best stuff I’ve done has come from that need for speed.

BIBA: But that speed isn’t relegated to the moments when you were asked to save something at the last minute. Isn’t working fast the key factor on any television set?

CRAIG: When I’m running a TV show it’s always about hustle. There’s no time to go back home and think about things. When you’re writing, running, and producing a show you have ten minutes to come up with the best possible solution and implement it. Pressure makes diamonds. I learned that in the ’80s on TV shows. If you’re good, when you’re forced to suck it up and do it, you get it accomplished.

BIBA: So what, exactly, is happening on the set that pulls you in so many directions?

CRAIG: In TV you’re sitting in an office coming up with idea. Meanwhile, people are shooting nine pages of your script. It’s all about the calendar. For example: They’re shooting episode two right now and we haven’t written episode four. It preps in two days. If we don’t have something ready it will cost $100,000. Then you have to cast the episode you’ve already written, go in to post and edit episodes which are about to start airing. All the while your sitting around creatively saying: “We’ve got ten more episodes we have to come up with.”

The downside of that is often you write a script a couple weeks before it shoots and then you get notes, things change, and tomorrow you’re shooting something you rewrote today, which doesn’t have the polish but time’s up. That’s a big reason why a lot of television is good but not great. You end up making decisions at the last minute that have lasting impact.

BIBA: Sounds exhausting.

CRAIG: It’s a real balancing act. That’s what everyday is like running a show. At least you come home at the ending of it saying: “Not sure what I accomplished, but we didn’t shut down, and no one fired me.” But if you’re good at it you enjoy it. There’s something about coming home and knowing I had to make 25 decisions and because 20 of them were good I’m good at what I do. The sheer volume causes you to feel like you have lived up to your title as a producer.

–Follow author Erin Biba on Twitter: @ErinBiba

Soapbox: The Art Of Break-Ups

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , — Aaron @ 8:30 am

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The Art Of Break-Ups

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How to get out of an unpleasant relationship with the help of The Art of War.

The situation: The beautiful and alluring girl you began dating several months ago has transformed into a clingy, manipulative, needy psycho bitch from Hell. There is a possible method of successfully escaping many more months (if not years) of detrimental psychological and emotional torment.

If you know that she will not surrender the relationship peaceably, if she will not agree to a break-up, and if any attempt to reason will result in more pain and soul-sucking misery, then your only option is sabotage.

“The Attack By Fire”. Sun Tzu said “There are five ways of attacking with fire. The first is to burn soldiers in their camp, the second is to burn stores, the third is to burn baggage trains, the fourth is to burn arsenals and magazines, and the fifth is to hurl dropping fire amongst the enemy.”

Do not take this literally. First, this is not an overnight attack. It will take time and strategy. “There is a proper season for making attacks with fire.” If your girlfriend has friends, then you must make sure that they are not present when you attack; although the attacks will be subtle, they will easily be detected by a horde of girlfriends.

Think of it this way: Your girlfriend is a general, and her friends are soldiers. You cannot have an equal fight until you are on equal ground, thus you must first dispose of her friends so that you will only have to battle her. What you have to do is draw their attention to their boyfriends. Refer to vile acts they did while you were last out with them, make vague references that will lead to explicit imaginations, such as “I love dogs, but I just can’t un-see the things that happened behind the windmill at the putt-putt. I honestly wish I didn’t know a girl could bend like that.” They will flee the camp, leaving you alone to deal with the shrew.

The next steps appear easy, however they require a light, subtle touch. You cannot appear too aggressive, this would cause her to react aggressively and douse your attacks.

“Burn the stores”. In order to effectively disarm her, you must first catch her off-guard. You do this by attacking her insecurity and security, in that order. The source of her insecurity is most likely her weight. Make sure your comments are not clearly intentionally insulting, make her believe that you think you’re complimenting her. Hold her waist and say “Are these new? I like it.” Mention that you think her baby fat is “cute”. Play with any flab you can find with a smile. Finally, offer her chocolate and ice cream and carbohydrates all the time, when she says she “shouldn’t” or “can’t” guffaw and ask who she’s trying to impress, and gleefully tell her that she looks fine the way she is. If she accepts, then if you were previously unable to find any flab, you have just planted the seeds.

“Burn the baggage trains.” Now that she is dazed, attack her source of security: her clothing and sense of style. As a guy, you have little-to-no sense of female style, but you can tell when she thinks she’s fashionable and stylish, and when she doesn’t. When she is expressing doubts about how a dress looks on her, agree with her; those pants do make her butt look big. Once again, you must do this positively, you cannot leave a doubt that you are even teasing her. You are attempting to convince her that not only is she as unattractive as she fears, but that you’re a clueless and incompetent boob who isn’t worth the energy of a fight over such matters. When she expresses pride over an outfit, agree once again, but then ask if it’s “supposed to look like that?” Point to somewhere specific, find some cloth that’s particularly loose or tight, and then tell her to forget it, that it’s barely noticeable. It’s not necessary (as it isn’t always applicable), but if she wears loose-fitting sweats for working out, or to go to bed, then tell her how “good those look” on her. Depending on how big they are, this may come off as a joke no matter how well you execute the tone and connotation, but don’t worry, if it flops then it won’t hurt your position. Also, it’s a clear sign that you’re ready for disarmament if she begins wearing them more often than usual.

If done properly, she will now be off-guard and is ready to be disarmed in preparation for battle. Her ammunition are your flaws. Obviously you can’t fix all of them, but you can fix an even mix of the big and little ones (the little ones are very important as those are the most difficult attacks to counter in an argument), as well as take steps to fixing or improving others. You cannot make these changes too obvious or else she may become suspicious (that you’re cheating on her, not that you want to break up), so be very careful. Some common flaws to work on: leaving the toilet seat up, not listening, having a lousy job, having no job, strong ties to mother, not watching what she wants to watch, drinking/spending time with friends too much. I reiterate, do your best to not make your efforts obvious, at least try not to let the changes affect your general demeanor. While changing some habits may put a pep in your step, you must resist the temptation to pep.

Once that is complete, you are ready to initiate a fight. Pick the right moment, a calm night far removed from any fights and wait for her to make a move, to do one thing that you can complain about that will set you off on a tirade of annoyances. Attack her insecurities without subtlety, her weight, her clothes, her friends, her recent penchant for sitting on the couch all day eating ice cream in her filthy sweats. If your attacks are successful, she will burst into tears, or possibly make a feeble attempt to retaliate at which point you can reveal your improvements, thus deflating her completely.

Most importantly, resist any temptation to have post-fight coitus. This will not only nullify all of your attacks, but it is a sign of great weakness that she will exploit and use to destroy you. After the fight is over, or even in its final coughing fits, make her leave immediately (or if you’re at her “camp”, you leave immediately), insisting that she or you return for retrieving whatever has been left there.

If this method fails, then you have no choice but to marry the succubus because any second attempt, no matter how cunning, will most likely result in bodily (specifically the groin) harm, if not death.

–Daniel Kiehnhoff

Essential Sounds (2010/05/12)

Filed under: Columns,Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , — Aaron @ 6:41 am

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Essential Sounds (2010/05/12)

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Kanichiwa interwebbers it is I, your friendly neighbourhood music guru, and as ever from my headquarters here in Blighty I have been scouring the land for the best new music to keep your ears and soul at peace. This weeks essential sounds sees us travel through a sonic chamber of eclectic material bringing you a buffet of hip-hop, electro, punk and everything else bar the kitchen sink so grab a pair of headphones, plug in and take off.

1. “We Are Water” by Health

Californian noise rock troop Health return with a taste of new material in the form of “We Are Water”. Despite having only been in action since 2007 the LA based group have made somewhat of a name for themselves and with their latest single they are making all the right moves to further develop their reputation. On first reflection the potent mix of pounding drums and distorted ambience come across as a cocktail of sound which consists of equal measures fear and intoxication. This is the tracks strength and fortunatly for the listener it never dies down, gripping you by the ear drum and the jugular until the ride is over. This is an essential track because basically it is the equivalent of adrenaline pumping through your blood stream, it gets under your skin and becomes a part of you.

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2. “Shutterbug” by Big Boi

The often underated and overlooked other half of ATL’s iconic Hip hop duo Outkast, Big Boi further pursues his solo career with this hard hitting certified club banger! If “Shutterbug” is to be seen as a sample for what we can expect from Big Boi’s debut album Sir Luscious Left Foot then the early signs are good, very good. The expected soul and funk influence we’ve come to establish Big Boi with is ever present but under the production guidance of Scott Storch there is much more commercial appeal in the form of its big beat rhythm and squelchy synth work. All of this is topped off with Big Boi’s quick delivered and always on point flow, some may see this as move towards selling out but really its a long overdue move out of the shadows.

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3. “Rambling Man” by Laura Marling

On her 2008 track “New Romantic” English singer songwriter Laura Marling makes a reference to fellow musician Ryan Adams and in particular his music. In her latest single “Rambling Man” his influence on her work has never been more noticeable. The tender and beautiful nature of the song distinctly echoes the tone of Adams debut album Heartbreaker. At the young age of 20 years old Marling writes with the whimsy and experience of someone ten years her elder. The beauty behind the track is its simplicity, the stripped down structure of guitar, drums and the ever fashionable banjo mixed with haunting harmonies and the sweet sticking beauty of Miss Marling’s voice make for an excellent example of delicate yet unforgettable song crafting.

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4. “Born Free” by M.I.A

It’s been three long years since Mathangi Arulpragasm, better known as M.I.A last had an album of new material for the world to revel in and despite a little tease of new music earlier this year she has been rather quiet. Until now that is, “Born” Free is the first official single from the forthcoming as of yet untitled Lp and believe me it dosent dissapoint. Kick starting with thrasing crescendo of drums it’s not long before the infectious bass line sinks it’s claws in and the track takes off like a rocket. Swelling with plenty of punk rock attitude and dancefloor swagger “Born Free” would be just as well suited to a riot as it would an underground club. Of course not one to shy away from thought provoking lyrical content its clear to see that after six years in the buisness she still has just as much if not more to get off her chest. Take all this and throw in some grimey distorted vocals and a rebel rousing one line chorus and you have all the right ingredients for a truly essential song.

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5. “Celestica” by Crystal Castles

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you will be hard pressed to find a more euphoric experience than this new exhibit from one of Canada’s finest exports Crystal Castles. Packed with a pulsating rhythm, swelling keyboard lines and a sun shower of synthesised delight its easy to see why I love this song so much. Alongside the shades of classic house music it seems as if the electronic duo have turned their ear to contemporary trends as well. A good example of this can be found in the lowered pitch of the vocal harmonies which are somewhat representative of UK Dubstep artist Burial. However the real gloss which makes the track shine bright is the pop like vocals of band member Alice Glass. To accompany the versatile instrumentation, Glass gives us one of the sweetest melodies you’re likely to hear in this genre.

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–Malcolm Foster

Soapbox: A Day Behind

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , — Aaron @ 5:13 am

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A Day Behind

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It’s with no small amount of eagerness and curiosity that I await the finale of Lost which is airing in America on the 23rd of May this year. For the past five and a half years, I’ve followed the events that have been happening on and off the island. And in a little over a month from now, the show will end, but I suspect that speculation about some of the inevitable unsolved mysteries will continue long after the credits roll on the final episode.

But as much as I’m looking forward to seeing the finale of Lost, what I’m dreading is the in-between time. It’s that span of time that stretches from when Lost airs in America until the evening of the following day when I’ve done a full day’s work, am able to stream the episode on-line and play catch up with America, hoping the whole time not to accidentally see something posted on line by a friend where they give information about what happened. You can be guaranteed that at least one person will post very publicly something to the effect of “Oh Jack, why did you die?”

This situation isn’t just specific to Lost, though the impending finale has brought that programme to the forefront. It’s a situation that I find myself in with all of my favourite American shows and it happens with comic books too but to a much lesser extent. The day that Ted Mosby announces who The Mother is, I’m going fully internet dark until I can stream the episode.

To be a nerd in Ireland, or indeed anywhere that’s not America, is to live a day behind.

Growing up in Ireland as a nerd was a strange thing. BBC showed re runs of Star Trek and SKY1 showed The Next Generation as well as Quantum Leap if you were really lucky. Thinking back, the shows were probably months or maybe even a year behind the original American airdate, though with no frame of reference at the time it was never a cause for concern. But no one else watched these shows or cared in the slightest that they were on. Eventually I became convinced that the shows were scheduled just for me in a weird kind of nerd solipsism. But then, something big and amazing come along in the form of the world’s biggest double edged sword… the internet.

The internet is an amazing social tool and has allowed the world to connect in ways that were never thought possible before and it showed me very quickly that there were far more people like me out there than I realised. But at times, the best thing about the internet can be the worst thing about the internet because the internet contains all the knowledge in the world.

Knowledge and wisdom are two very different things.

The internet gave everyone a voice and as time goes on, the outlets for that voice become more numerous and easier to access. People love to talk about what they like or in some cases about what they hate. And people really love to talk about what they love or hate almost immediately after they’ve seen it or read it.

But it is the internet that allows us to be only one day behind America and gives us a chance to see our favourite shows before they air on TV on this side of the Atlantic.

The good news is that not all forms of media are subject to delays that are imposed by the world of television. Traditionally, movies come out in America long before they see the light of day in the rest of the world but that too is changing. In recent memory, movies like Taken, Dr Parnassus, Kick-Ass and the recently released Iron Man 2 have seen release dates in Ireland and the UK ahead of America.

The comic book world has always treated us with more dignity though, and we only have to wait one solitary day to “properly” catch up on our American cousins without having to cheat by reading online. New Comic Book Day in America is Wednesday and in Ireland it’s Thursday. This is a fact that most comic professionals in America aren’t actually aware of, but when they do find out it pleases them that their work gets to its audience the entire world over that quickly.

There is still some discrepancy in terms of the prices being charged for the books owing to freight costs and foreign exchange fluctuations. This discrepancy can be overcome though by shopping online, where prices are much more reasonable but the cheaper price comes with an extended timeline. It’s a trade-off that a lot of monthly collectors aren’t willing to make possibly due to the fact that they are afraid of having their enjoyment spoiled by friends in distant lands who have already read the comics, or possibly because it’s not pleasant to have to wait to have a cliff hanger resolved.

Marketers will classify this situation as “cash rich, time poor”, saying that we have the money to spend and don’t have the time to wait. But most of us will readily admit that it’s just down to plain old obsession. Though every once in a while the matter will be taken out of our hands and we’ll be forced to wait longer than normal due to Bank Holiday or an inconvenient ash cloud.

Being a day behind isn’t the worst thing in the world, and like anything else it has it’s good points and it’s bad points. There’s no pressure to have to live to a network-imposed timeline and the fact that you’re going to be behind to a certain degree no matter what you do does give you the freedom to live life on your own schedule. The internet sure ain’t going anywhere and though it can be dangerous during the in-between time, the benefits and the connection to the wider world outweigh any potential drawbacks.

–Simon Fitzgerald

May 11, 2010

FREDagator: 2010-05-11

Filed under: Articles — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:04 am

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Fans of Minder & Star Wars – Melt your mind with this…

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May 10, 2010

TV Or Not TV: 5/10 – 5/16

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: , , , — admin @ 5:32 pm

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After recently spending some quiet ‘me’ time I was finally able to catch up on ABC’s floundering FLASHFORWARD. Since the show came back from its long winter break I’d only watched two episodes so I felt as though I hadn’t really given it all that much of a chance.

When FLASHFORWARD premiered I really enjoyed the first few episodes and I thought the show had a lot of promise. The gimmick was good and in many ways the show really seemed like the heir apparent to the LOST throne. Some how though the show really lost its steam prior to taking the winter break. I’m not sure if that was from having us involved in too many stories, taking us in to many directions, or just a lack of cohesive thought in the writing process. Whatever it was I wasn’t the only one to pick up on these things because the show had a pretty big shake up in it’s creative team during the break.

After coming back from the winter break the show seemed determined to really get down to business. They instantly established the fact that another world wide blackout may be coming (OH NO!) and the show gave us something we were missing prior to the break: real bad guys that the characters would eventually have to deal with. In taking a page from X-FILES and LOST they’ve kept the bad guys mysterious, made them seem real organized, and kept us virtually in the dark as to who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. It’s something that the show was really missing and it’s a welcome addition. The recent addition of James Callis to the cast as a secret flash forward experiment victim who has all kinds of possible futures locked up in his head is probably the one story line I want to see them follow because his performance is so opposite that of BALTAR from the re-imagined BATTLESTAR GALACTICA that it’s just brilliant.

There are still some things that just don’t seem to work right and a few missed opportunities, if you were to ask me. The story of the kidnapped daughter in the middle east is one that I just don’t have a lot of interest in. The doctor with cancer who is waiting to find his Asian lady love? Yawn. Taking the hope that the futures we saw aren’t set in stone and making us question if it can really be possible? Predictable.  Having an episode air on April 29th and not have it co-incide with the show’s timeline of the day of the flash, also April 29th? Meta fail.

All-in-all, however, I can really say with a degree of confidence that the show is actually worth the time to watch, especially in this latter half of the season. There is real momentum week to week and it really gives you a reason to watch instead of just making you watch to avoid missing some small detail that may be relevant later.

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This past Saturday I think that SNL might actually be able to learn something from the Internet since the show featuring BETTY WHITE was probably the best episode of the entire 2009-2010 season. For the majority of this season watching SNL has been bitter-sweet as I’ve been looking for the ‘good sketch’ needle in a haystack of unfunny. I suppose even saying that it has just been this season is a bit of a stretch as well since the majority of last season was the same for me. Still, week after week, I DVR the show with the hopes that I push enough straw of funny out of the way to find that gleaming and sharp needle of funny that everyone is going to be talking about. All of that changed with BETTY WHITE.

First and foremost BETTY WHITE has (literally) had a lifetime of experience to finely tune her comedic timing to the point where I believe it is second nature. Her finely tuned comedic timing coupled with her mature and maternal grandmother facade make her a one two punch that I think just about any writer would be hard pressed to NOT make her funny. With this show there were close calls, two awkward ones in my opinion, where the premise was pushing it or BETTY seemed slightly out of sorts but even in those instances you were more forgiving because BETTY WHITE’s presence is so powerful you just didn’t care.

Another reason why I think that this episode of SNL was so good had to do with almost every major female cast member from the last 10 years returning for this special installment. I’m sure that this returning group has a certain affect in the writing room of the show that helped contribute to what, perceived by me, was a higher caliber of show quality. I also strongly suspect that this installment of the show had the benefit of lots of preparation in the way of writing being done well in advance instead of the usual writings as they go that I believe happens during regular production of the show. I only hope that there was something to be learned from the entire BETTY WHITE experiment and the forthcoming season finale with ALEC BALDWIN sends this season off in a good way.

Now let’s see what TV holds for us this week.

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: CHRISTOPHER LLOYD drops in as a therapist to help CHUCK deal with his head. Hopefully he’s more Doc Brown than Jim Ignatowski (oh heck, I’d take a nice merge of both).

CBS – 8:00 PM: The gang on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER crash a swank New York party. I sense some stunt casting in this one.

ABC – 10:00 PM: CASTLE has to struggle for attention from BECKETT now that DEMMING is hanging around. Speaking of which has ABC got option contracts on most of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA cast?

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: OK AMERICAN IDOL this whole mentoring thing has got to stop. JAMIE FOXX mentoring the remaining contestants on singing songs from movies? Really? Now you’re stretching it. Why not RUSSELL CROWE, BILLY BOB THORTON or KEANU REAVES? They’ve all got bands, they just didn’t play a singer in a movie. Oh, wait, you want someone else who did the whole singer biopic thing? Bring in JOAQUIN PHOENIX instead or maybe DENNIS QUAID?

ABC – 9:00 PM: Tonight we see the touching story of When JACOB met SMOKEY on a very special episode of LOST.

FOX – 9:00 PM: OK, let me get this straight: KURT tries to butch it up, PUCK shaves the mohawk and RACHEL can’t sing on tonight’s episode of GLEE? Wow, this doesn’t scream filler at all!

WEDNESDAY

TheCW – 8:00 PM: OMG! It’s the two hour finale of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL and I’ve not watched a single episode! Why start now, right?

BC – 9:00 PM: OK, this week the MODERN FAMILY actually gets to Hawaii instead of just travelling there and just like last week I’m rooting for PHIL to find the cursed tiki idol to make my world complete.

NBC – 9:00 PM: MERCY has it’s season finale tonight and it’s ranked in my viewing schedule just behind AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. Oh well.

THURSDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: The penultimate (kind of) episode of SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS airs and we I’m wondering if RUSSELL makes it to the end or did PARVARTI eat him alive?

TheCW – 8:00 PM: It’s spooky night done right on TheCW with the season finale of THE VAMPIRE DIARIES followed by the looming apocalypse on SUPERNATURAL.

NBC – 9:00 PM: Tonight is all filler on THE OFFICE until next week’s return of KATHY BATES.

FOX – 9:00 PM: Wow, I could use penultimate twice tonight because the the first part of the FRINGE season finale is tonight as well. It’s a two parter so next week won’t make much sense without tonight but it’s still the next to last episode to air for the season so I’m saying it’s the penultimate. I sure hope I’m using that word right.

FRIDAY

TheCW – 8:00 PM: Well we’ve waited all season to find out just how CLARK is going to deal with the Kandorians on SMALLVILLE and it’s finally here. The solution he sought and found last week results in all Kyrptonians being banished from Earth so I’m dreading a finale where it seems that CLARK is gone (again).

CBS – 9:00 PM: I only bring up tonight’s episode of MEDIUM because I once again wanted to say penultimate. So yeah, this is the penultimate episode for what could be the final season of the series.

SATURDAY

BBCAMERICA – 8:00 PM: OK, so maybe your TARDIS was a bit wibbly-wobbly and you missed last week’s first part of this awesome two-parter of DOCTOR WHO. Guess what? Tune in at this time and you can catch THE TIME OF ANGELS before the 9:00 PM airing of the second part FLESH AND STONE. Two hours I have no fear in recommending.

NBC – 11:30 PM: How do you follow-up the stellar BETTY WHITE performance on SNL? Two words folks: ALEC ‘MOTHER TRUCKIN’ BALDWIN.

SUNDAY

CBS – 8:00 PM: Grab a bowl of popcorn and sit down as CBS tries to dominate the night with the season finale of SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS. After the two hour finale you can even stick around for the reunion special right after.

FOX – 8:00 PM: The FOX network refuses to bow before SURVIVOR by rolling out another appearance of SIDESHOW BOB on tonight’s episode of THE SIMPSONS.

ABC – 9:00 PM: The explosive season finale of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES hits as we see LYNETTE finally learns the down side of befriending a serial killer and the entire BOLEN business is finally put to rest.

HBO – 9:00 PM: It’s the final episode of the amazing World War II miniseries THE PACIFIC tonight. I hope no one spoils how it ends for me!

ABC – 10:00 PM: You hear that folks? It’s my sigh of relief at the fact that another season of BROTHERS & SISTERS comes to a close and I know there’s one less show on the DVR that I won’t be watching.

May 7, 2010

Weekend Shopping Guide 5/7/10: Big Blue Bridges

Filed under: Shopping Guides — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 8:20 pm

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The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the FRED Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

(Please support FRED by using the links below to make any impulse purchases – it helps to keep us going…)

The epic films of David Lean are an essential part of any cinematic library, and the first to make the transition to high definition is the sweeping Doctor Zhivago (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$35.99 SRP), and it looks and sounds absolutely incredible. Just to add icing to the cake, it’s packed with bonus materials, including an audio commentary, a new retrospective, a making-of documentary, vintage featurettes and interviews, the theatrical trailer, and a sampler CD of Maurice Jarre’s score.

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Robots are cool. So is brushing your teeth. Go with me on this… When you combine a toothbrush and a tiny little motor, you get the uber-cool BristleBot Toothbrush Robot ($7.99), which you can race against each other (after personalizing it, of course). It’s small, it’s cheap, and it’s fn. Ace.

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I’m always leery of a new take on Hamlet (BBC, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$24.99 SRP), but when it was revealed that the young Dane would be played by David Tennant and Claudius would be played by Patrick Stewart, well, I knew I’d have to give it a spin. And it is worth a viewing. Bonus materials include an audio commentary and a making-of featurette.

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It’s been a few months and the new series has been hitting our shores, so hat means it’s time for another clutch of classic [Doctor Who] DVD releases. This time, we get a pair of Jon Pertwee adventures – The Monster Of Peladon (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) and The Curse Of Peladon (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP). The 3rd release is a Tom Baker outing, The Masque Of Mandragora (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), and all 3 are packed with bonus materials including audio commentaries, interviews, featurettes, and much more.

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Using the Poppinsonian maxim of a spoonful of sugar, Paramount has dipped into their catalogue for a trio of new-to-Blu-Ray releases, the first of which is the aforementioned sugar – Saving Private Ryan (Paramount, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP). [Ryan] looks & sounds better than any previous DVD release, and the 2-disc special edition contain an introduction from Spielberg, making-of featurettes, historical featurettes, and a documentary on WWII combat photographers. The medicine is a pair of less than stellar flicks – Harrison Ford in K-19: The Widowmaker and Kurt Russell in Escape From LA (Paramount, Rated PG-13/R, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP each). [Escape] is featureless, but [K-19] carries over an audio commentary, a making-of, and a trio of featurettes.

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Presented by Sir John Gielgud, Six Centuries Of Verse (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$69.99 SRP) is an epic exploration of English-language poetry through the centuries, featuring performances by the likes of Anthony Hopkins and Julian Glover.

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While the new Blu-Ray edition of Tombstone (Hollywood Pictures, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP) retains the making-of featurette, trailers, storyboards, and TV spots of the most recent DVD special edition, the high-def debut of Armageddon (Touchstone, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP) is barren compared to the bonus-heavy Criterion edition of yore, giving us only a music video and trailers. Such a shame.

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The comedy isn’t terribly nuanced, but there is a sucker punch level of laughs to be had from Leigh Francis’s grotesque creations in The Complete Bo’ Selecta! (Channel 4, Not Rated, Region 2, DVD-£29.99 SRP). The box set contains all 3 series plus the holiday special, filled with the likes of Keith Lemon, Avid Merrion, The Bear, Craig David, and more. Also available is the tribute special Cha’mone Mo’ Fo’ Selecta: A Tribute To Michael Jackson (Channel 4, Not Rated, Region 2, DVD-£12.99 SRP).

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Universal dips into the vaults for the latest in the Backlot Series, The Barbara Stanwyck Collection (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). The 6 films included are [Internes Can’t Take Money], [The Great Man’s Lady], [The Bride Wore Boots], [The Lady Gambles], [All I Desire], and [There’s Always Tomorrow].

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You remember [The Santa Clause]? Where Tim Allen assumes the mantle of Santa Claus and family-friendly, heart-warming hilarity ensued? Well, replace Allen with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and make the former wrestler the titular mythical creature of Tooth Fairy (Fox, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP). Yeah. You heard me. The 3-disc set contains an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, a gag reel, and a standard DVD copy of the film.

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Their marriage may not have been the happiest, but there’s no doubt that both Carole King and James Taylor knew how to write a song, which is evident on their recent reunion concert disc Live At The Troubadour (Hear Music, $19.98 SRP). And, because you know you want it, there’s also a bonus DVD of the concert, for those who want to see all of the water under this ex-couple’s bridge.

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The films are good, but Universal’s new Blu-Ray/DVD flipper discs are still an unwelcome abominations – which is a shame, since the trio of catalogue titles – Out Of Africa, Traffic, & The Jackal (Universal, Rated PG/R/R, Blu-Ray-$26.98 SRP each) – deserve better treatment than this. Each film ports over the bonus films featured in the previous standard DVD editions (but [Traffic] is lacking the extensive materials found on the old Criterion release).

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Recently re-released as a Blu-Ray special edition, the Colin Firth version of Pride & Prejudice (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$19.95 SRP) makes its standard DVD debut in a 2-disc edition featuring the same bonus featurettes found on the high-def version.

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David Lynch’s adaptation of Dune (Universal, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$26.98 SRP) is one of those glorious, overblown, disastrous fantasy flicks that seemed to come fast and furious in the 1980’s. The new high-def transfer is certainly impressive, and while the film is tedious at best and certainly off-putting, the new edition should make fans happy, as it ports over the deleted scenes and featurettes from the standard DVD special edition.

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Set in a post-apocalyptic world where technology has failed and mankind is living by a thread after a plague sweeps the land, Survivors (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$79.98 SRP) was creator Terry Nation’s take on an oft-told tale, but a well told take nonetheless. This new box set contains the complete run, plus a documentary and photo galleries. It’s gotten a release because the modern day remake is hitting DVD with Survivors: The Complete Seasons One And Two (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), a slicker, if not better, update. Bonus materials include featurettes and profiles.

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Featuring rare footage from his own personal collection, Andy Kaufman: World Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion (Microwerks, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is a documentary about the most controversial – and some say professionally destructive – period of the late comedian’s career. Regardless, it’s an interesting look into the mind of an original.

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In the mood for a mildly entertaining romantic comedy with likeable actors that won’t cause upset and will quickly wash off after it’s all over? Well, then It’s Complicated (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$36.98 SRP) is for you. Starring Meryl Streep & Alec Baldwin as a divorced couple on good terms who begin to rekindle their romance – which is rather awkward for his young wife and Streep’s new beau (Steve Martin). Bonus materials include an audio commentary and a making-of featurette.

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Remember that surprisingly chilling horror film a few years back about a team of female spelunkers who are hunted by subterranean creatures during an expedition gone wrong? You know, [The Descent]? Well, now it all gets a bit naffer with The Descent Part 2 (Lionsgate, Rated R, DVD-$28.98 SRP), which finds the survivor of the original film forced to go back into the caves, by the local sheriff, on a search mission for her missing companions. Bonus materials include an audio commentary, featurettes, deleted scenes, and a storyboard gallery.

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I’m not a fan, but there are plenty of kids who adore the little red monster and will probably happy tap along with Sesame Street: The Best Of Elmo 2 (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP), which contains almost an hour’s worth of the furry bastard. Now where the DVD release of Kermit’s best bits?

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A surprising and welcome arrival on DVD is the second volume collecting On The Road with Charles Kuralt (Acorn, Not Rated, DVD-$39.99 SRP) – the Emmy-winning travelogue that featured Kuralt, a motor home, and destinations and personalities across the breadth of the United States. The 3-disc set features 18 episodes, plus updates.

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While not as funny as some of their previous television incarnations, there’s still plenty of fun to be had in the second season of Tracey Ullman’s State Of The Union (Eagle Media, Not Rated, DVD-$19.93 SRP), which finds her playing 53 different characters rooted in American life. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, featurettes, sing-alongs, and more.

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Cross Doo Wop with [The Sunshine Boys] and you have The Dukes (E1, Rated PG-13, DVD-$24.98 SRP), a pretty fun little caper comedy about a down on their hells Doo Wop group who decides to stage a comeback – only this comeback involves stealing 35 pounds of gold. The cast – Robert Davi, Chazz Palminteri, & Peter Bogdanovich – are clearly having fun. Bonus features include an audio commentary, interviews, and deleted scenes.

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It’s a bit disconcerting as you try and process the age difference in the 70’s-filmed [Honeymooners Specials], which brought the cast back together for one last spin as The Kramdens and The Nortons, but once you get into it, the old magic is there. The Second Honeymoon (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) finds Ralph and Alice renewing their vows on their 25th wedding anniversary, while Valentine Special (MPI, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) is pretty self-explanatory. Both discs also contain rare parody skits.

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Translated from its smash Broadway run and bringing Andy Griffith and Don Knotts together on screen for the first time, No Time For Sergeants (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is one of those comedies that I’ve been waiting eagerly for, and this remastered edition is a welcome arrival.

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With Memorial Day right around the corner, Warners has dipped into the archives for some manly men classics to release as part of their TCM: Greatest Classic Films Collection. The first, TCM Classics: Westerns (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$27.98 SRP), contains [The Stalking Moon], [Ride The High Country], [Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid], & [Chisum]. TCM Classics: War (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$27.98 SRP) sports [Battle Of The Bulge] , [The Dawn Patrol], [Gunga Din], & [Operation Pacific]. I just wish both releases weren’t on those damn flipper discs.

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By the time we reach the Saturday Morning Cartoons: 1980s collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$26.98 SRP), we’ve pretty much reached the border between nostalgia and embarrassment, as the offerings on hand in this 2-disc overview of the decade’s animated offerings includes the likes of Mister T, Chuck Norris, Ed Grimley, Thundarr, and The Biskitts. At least there’s a little featurette on the history of Thundarr.

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Tony Stark becomes a teenage superhero in Nickelodeon’s Iron Man: Armored Adventures (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$29.93 SRP), which I assume is a change meant to appeal to kids – although why one would think they couldn’t identify with a 30-something multibillionaire arms manufacturer, I’ll never know. The 4-disc box set contains all 26 episodes, plus storyboards and original sketches.

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See a man do some incredibly foolish things to his body in the name of adventure in Man Vs. Wild: Season 4 (Discovery, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP). The man in question is crazy survivalist Bear Grylls, and the 3-disc set contains all 13 episodes, plus extended scenes and a preview episode.

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It’s another quarter of episodes to entertain the kiddies with Go Diego Go!: The Great Panda Adventure (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP) which – in addition to adventures with pandas, lemurs, koalas, and beavers – also features a pair of videos from the Fresh Bat Band.

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It seems like there’s been a couple hundred editions released, but the new special edition of Dirty Dancing (Lionsgate, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.98 SRP) sports a brand new, damn spiffy video transfer that makes the film look better than it ever has in any previous release. Bonus features include audio commentaries, featurettes, documentaries, a tribute to Patrick Swayze, outtakes, interviews, music videos, and much more. A Blu-Ray edition ($34.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus materials.

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So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

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Trailer Park: IRON MAN 2

Filed under: Reviews,Trailer Park — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 3:32 am

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

Robin Hood – Free Passes

robinhood_posterWho lives in Arizona and wants to see Russell Crowe dispatch dirty peasants with a bow and arrow?

I sure do. After loving every last morsel of the last Russell Crowe/Ridley Scott team-up this film at least gets an emotional buy-in simply because lighting may very well strike twice.

For those that would like to see this film Tuesday, May 11th, at 7:00 at Harkins Fashion Square please shoot me a line at Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com and let me know you’re interested in winning some tickets. I don’t have many so get those entries in quick.

And, for those that need an explanation of what this movie has in store for you, read the film’s description:

Oscar winner Russell Crowe stars as the legendary figure known by generations as “Robin Hood,” whose exploits have endured in popular mythology and ignited the imagination of those who share his spirit of adventure and righteousness. In 13th century England, Robin and his band of marauders confront corruption in a local village and lead an uprising against the crown that will forever alter the balance of world power. And whether thief or hero, one man from humble beginnings will become an eternal symbol of freedom for his people.

The untitled Robin Hood adventure chronicles the life of an expert archer, previously interested only in self-preservation, from his service in King Richard’s army against the French. Upon Richard’s death, Robin travels to Nottingham, a town suffering from the corruption of a despotic sheriff and crippling taxation, where he falls for the spirited widow Lady Marion (Oscar winner Cate Blanchett), a woman skeptical of the identity and motivations of this crusader from the forest. Hoping to earn the hand of Maid Marion and salvage the village, Robin assembles a gang whose lethal mercenary skills are matched only by its appetite for life. Together, they begin preying on the indulgent upper class to correct injustices under the sheriff.

With their country weakened from decades of war, embattled from the ineffective rule of the new king and vulnerable to insurgencies from within and threats from afar, Robin and his men heed a call to ever greater adventure. This unlikeliest of heroes and his allies set off to protect their country from slipping into bloody civil war and return glory to England once more.

Tokyo Sonata – DVD Review

tokyosonata_3dSuch an endearing film, this movie from Kiyoshi Kurosawa explores some of the more quiet aspects of live in modern Japan.

One of the funny things about Kurosawa is that most who do know his name know it from his work in the horror genre. A movie that departs greatly from that wheelhouse, Tokyo Sonata is an overlooked gem from last year that not only reaffirmed my own sense of what it means to be a family but that Kurosawa knows how to transcend cultural mores and tell a story about a man who loses his job and tries to hold on to the lie as kids, wife unravel before his eyes.

It’s a bittersweet movie that is genuinely funny but it’s also an introspective film that is gorgeous to look at while seeing that there is some real pathos happening before you. The performances are uniformly excellent especially Kyoko Koizumi, who plays the put upon matriarch of the family, who becomes something of a force to reckon with as she evolves in this family that tries to pull through what is ostensibly the most difficult time in their lives.

Do not miss what I wish I could have seen in the theaters, the lush cinematography showing the natural ebb and flow of life in Japan, and a movie that can speak to what modern families have to deal with in a time that knows no geographical or social boundaries.

About the film:

FROM INTERNATIONALLY-RENOWNED DIRECTOR KIYOSHI KUROSAWA COMES A “HAUNTING AND MASTERFUL” FILM, WINNER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS CANNES UN CERTAIN REGARD JURY PRIZE

Best known in the United States for unsettling horror films like PULSE and CURE, internationally recognized director Kiyoshi Kurosawa ventures away from the genre with TOKYO SONATA. Probing the dark side of human nature and the social problems that confront contemporary Japan, this highly acclaimed 2009 theatrical release was awarded the Un Certain Regard Jury Prize at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, as well as capturing Best Film and Best Screenwriter at the Asian Film Awards.

Equal parts social commentary and situational comedy, the atmospheric TOKYO SONATA is a story of an ordinary Japanese family of four. The father, Ryuhei Sasaki, like any other Japanese businessman, is faithfully devoted to his work. His wife, Megumi, left on her own to manage the house, struggles to retain a bond with her oldest son in college, Takashi, and the youngest, Kenji, a sensitive boy in elementary school. From the exterior the family is seemingly normal, save for the tiny schisms that exist within. However, after Ryuhei unexpectedly loses his job, the quiet unraveling of the family beings.

Facing completely unfamiliar circumstances, Ryuhei decides not to tell his family and begins his lonely sojourn into the world of the secretly unemployed. Along with many other businessmen who save face by concealing their shameful reality from family and friends, Ryuhei begins to depart each day for work, when, in fact, he kills time in libraries and parks. His lies and torment go unnoticed by Takashi, who becomes increasingly despondent and alienated from his family, and Megumi, who can no longer summon the will to keep her family together. And, the longer his charade goes on, the less control he has as patriarch, creating an even deeper divide between him and his family.

TOKYO SONATA is presented in Japanese with English subtitles, and includes a “Making Of” Featurette, Cannes Festival Footage and Panel Interviews and Interviews with the Cast and Crew.

California Dreamin’ – DVD Review

califronia-dreamin_2d_hWhen I was in Ireland I picked up a book called “Turn Left at Greenland.”

It was a book that talked about what America looks like through the eyes of a foreign news correspondent living and working within our borders. It was an odd thing, seeing our country from someone that doesn’t call this home but it’s perfectly apt in order to describe the feeling of watching this movie from filmmaker, and Romanian, Cristian Nemescu.

The movie deals with a military intelligence officer, played with deft playfulness by Armand Assante, who finds himself stuck on the way to Kosovo in some faceless Romanian that could be any number of small hamlets in this part of the world, that has to navigate his way out of being held almost hostage in a farce that at once illuminates what we look like to others and how we deal with ourselves. The ugly American, uncouth around those who are simply living their own lives as we try and impose our will to fit our needs, is on full display here but the reason this movie excels masterfully is because how sly it is. It’s not enough to come right out and say what’s on this film’s mind, this movie plays with your expectations and lets the action on the screen tell the story.

Is America the strong willed bully who likes to play the part of imperialist? If Nemescu’s movie is any indication it is but there are bright spots to be found within its stubbornness. Make no mistake about it, either. Nemescu skewers his own culture as well, pointing out that while we have our own problems no one is perfect by any stretch.

It’s disappointing that this is Nemescu’s only film, he died in a car accident before being able to properly edit this film down before it made its bow at Cannes in 2007, but this is a gem of a movie that talks global politics that still have meaning today in an age when this film explains so much about our involvement inside Pakistan and Iraq.

About the film:

THE AWARD-WINNING ““ AND ONLY ““ FILM FROM ONE OF THE WORLD’S GREAT YOUNG DIRECTORS, WHO DIED BEFORE ITS RELEASE

In the tradition of great black comedies about war ““ from Dr. Strangelove and M*A*S*H to Three Kings and In the Loop ““ comes CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’, one of the masterpieces of what’s been called the Romanian new wave. This vital and globally honored movie was the only feature film from brilliant young director Cristian Nemescu.

The fact-based story proves that truth is stranger ““ and more absurd ““ than fiction. It’s 1999, and the bloody civil war in Yugoslavia is underway. A platoon of American Marines has arrived in Constanta , Romania , with a shipment of military radar meant to be deployed near the Serbian border in support of NATO air raids. No-nonsense Captain Doug Jones (Golden Globe winner Armand Assante in a career performance) is in charge of transporting the equipment by train across Romania , but when the train is stopped in a remote village, Jones and his men must contend with the corrupt and terrifying stationmaster, Doiaru (Razvan Vasilescu), who’s also the local strongman and black market operator. The Marines become the “guests” of a poor village filled with frustrating bureaucracy, sexy young women on the make, and odd pop culture celebrations. Can Americans really bring order and hope to this chaotic part of the world, or is that just California dreamin’?

Five Minutes of Heaven – DVD Review

fmoh_3d_lThis is a movie that you ought to seek out and enjoy for the high level of screenwriting and visual flair for cinematography.

A movie about two men, James Nesbitt and Liam Neeson, Catholic and Protestant respectively, who both had a part in the fighting that took place in the mid-1970s as these two religious groups fought a bloody war of politics and religion. All grown up, they are being chauffeured for a face-to-face, televised meeting. The real draw of the film, then, is how these two men find themselves here as they reflect on the events of their youth.

Filled with murder and rage, both men have their own sins to atone for but Oliver Hirschbiegel, director of the indescribably good Downfall, looks at these two people not to be pitied but to be understood. Screenwriter Guy Hibbert’s script is filled with moments that let you know this is a writer’s film, not a movie based on the quick cuts and violence you would expect out of a Tom Clancy novel if it were to be written about this chance meeting.

The rage that still simmers beneath the thin veneer of older age is deliciously depicted and honestly makes the case as to why there is some pain that will never be sated until revenge is exacted. But the movie is so much more than revenge fantasies and recompense, it’s a movie that should leave you thinking about how our own conflicts, no matter how personal they may be, can find a way to be exercised. I found my palms sweaty more than once and it’s due to a movie that wants to personalize, not dehumanize, it’s characters.

Seek this film out if a jangling Irish accent and the allure of a movie that wants to take its time with you is something you desire. Revenge is a dish best served cold but what happens after it’s on the table? This movie tells you exactly what happens.

About the film:

IN A PLACE WHERE BLOODY CONFLICT IS ALL MANY PEOPLE HAVE EVER KNOWN, SOME WOUNDS MAY PROVE TOO DEEP FOR TIME TO HEAL

Liam Neeson Stars in the Latest Triumph From Oscar® Nominee Oliver Hirschbiegel.

“The past is not dead. In fact, it isn’t even past.” The famous line from Faulkner could serve to describe FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN, the acclaimed suspenseful thriller about the long-lasting pain caused by the Troubles in Northern Ireland . That violent conflict has been the basis for many memorable movies, but few as gripping as Oscar-nominated director Oliver Hirschbiegel’s film, which features career performances by international stars Liam Neeson and James Nesbitt.

FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN is based on true events. It’s 1975 and conflict has been underway for years between the predominantly Catholic nationalists who want to end British control of Northern Ireland and the predominantly Protestant loyalists. Alistair Little, a 16-year-old Protestant member of the Ulster Volunteer Force, is anxious to earn his stripes and, along with his group, is given the go-ahead to kill an Ulster Catholic as reprisal for IRA attacks. Their target is 19-year-old Jim Griffen. The murder is witnessed by Griffen’s 11-year-old brother Joe.

Three decades later, Little (Neeson, star of “Taken” and “Schindler’s List”) has been rehabilitated and released from prison, while Joe Griffen (Nesbitt, who led the cast of Paul Greengrass’ Northern Ireland historical drama “Bloody Sunday”) remains traumatized and bitter. When a television talk show brings them together for a live on-air reconciliation, two men haunted by one moment must come face to face with their own worlds of pain and violence ““ and the ever-present threat of revenge.

FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN won the Directing Award and the World Cinema Screenwriting Award, and was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize, at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival.

Oliver Hirschbiegel previously directed the Best Foreign-Language Film Oscar nominee “Downfall,” about Hitler’s final days, and the sci-fi thriller “The Invasion,” starring Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. BAFTA-winning screenwriter Guy Hibbert’s impressive body of work includes “Omagh” and “Prime Suspect.” Also in the FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN cast is Anamaria Marinca, star of the Cannes Golden Palm winner “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” as well as Francis Ford Coppola’s “Youth Without Youth.”

Iron Man 2 – Review

4918_1594708762When last we left our hero, he was on a podium proclaiming himself to be the real iron man. There was much fanfare and celebration but how does Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) fare in issue 2 of this comic book character come to life?

Well, considering this is perhaps the most expensive romantic comedy ever made I would say it’s a success on multiple levels.

That’s one of the things you’ll notice, if you’re feeling your way through Jon Favreau’s latest, a real sense that this is a pure four quadrant movie that appeals to every single, last demographic. It seems made with the intent to fully embrace every last man, woman, and child with its focus on bringing the most amount of action with the most amount of family friendly permissible T&A along with peppering the dialogue with enough mature bon mots and double entendres to make any parent squirmy. There seems to be a real need to be liked on all levels going on within this picture that you can’t help but feel that Favreau has delivered a movie that gives the people what they want, all of them, and, what’s remarkable, there isn’t any slack in this film. Every moment is earned, every line pushing this film to its eventual breaking point. I think, and if there is any indication that this movie isn’t as good as it could have been I couldn’t point it out, the movie doesn’t take a definitive stance with regard to its voice. In much the same way that Dark Knight had its voice, how X2 absolutely had one that set it apart from its peers and how Spider-Man 2 possessed one that made it a classic, Iron Man 2 is lacking in that regard. There are missed opportunities to delve deep into the man who wears this suit of iron, passed over chances to get beyond the snappy one-liners (and they are snappy thanks to Justin Theroux’s ear for witty rejoinders and Downey Jr.’s unmatchable delivery, creating a character with his own unique patios), and it all adds up to a movie that truly embraces the summer movie aesthetic in the most fun way possible.

Meeting up with Stark, mere moments after where the first movie leaves off, we are right back to where we were when we last saw him. Basking in the glorious attention and filled with the kind of macho, funny bravado that made him such a delight in part 1. He’s in dire need of purpose when we meet up with him, although his tough candy shell would rather deflect than recognize how empty his castle really is, and this movie is all about this man’s quest for something more than dominance over the scientific and controllable. It’s a movie about a man’s need for love not only from the man who made him but from a woman that confounds him. What’s curious about the latter storyline is that it permeates the entire film. Tony tries to communicate the very human feelings which he’s been so adept at keeping sublimated towards Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) but, like every good romantic comedy, it’s never quite the right time. The movie is brilliant in keeping every person who is seeing this movie invested on what’s happening, like a politician who relentlessly plays to his constituents, but that’s also where the movie loses its ability to some something more than just a great summer film.

One of the story’s issues is Downey’s indulgence in excess, namely alcohol. Saving you the pain of getting into too much comic book fanboy detail there was a nine issue story arc within the Iron Man series in 1979 that dealt with Tony’s alcoholism. It was hailed then, and still is now, as one of the most important stories of the Iron Man saga. This was a chance to give the film a deep anchor, an opportunity for resonance far beyond the box office, but instead the subplot is given short shrift, relegated to a relatively quick realization and fixing of a problem as if it were a cut needing a band-aid. It was disappointing to see it used and rushed though so flippantly but, to come back as to why the film works on the levels it does, you can see why that decision was made. Mass appeal does not equate to an episode of Intervention, hence, it was ditched. Besides, he’s got bad guys to dispatch.

The villains of this picture, Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell, play opposite ends of the evil spectrum that simply boggle the mind. Rockwell, playing arms manufacturer Justin Hammer, ought to be the kind of slippery cad that knows no boundaries and delight in being the kind of foil to Tony Stark worthy of our condemnation. Instead, he’s played like an ass, a buffoon. It confounds the mind to try and think of why you would want to have a man capable of so much dirty dealing and evil come off like a doofus who is only able to get out of bed without hurting himself by happenstance. Or, is it because Mickey Rourke, as the mighty Whiplash, tries to steal the show as he turns in a performance as one of the better villains we’ve ever been given in a movie like this? Unfortunately, there is not much to steal as we only get fits and starts with regard to his character, he appears briefly and we aren’t really given much beyond a few biographical factoids and tidbits. To Rourke’s credit, however, he uses what little time is given him to his advantage. Coming off a sympathetic turn in The Wrestler, he is able to play that other side, where the villainy oozes out of every dirty pore, every unwashed piece of hair.

The film’s action set pieces, much like the first, are good and serviceable to a large degree. The CGI elements are pronounced in some areas and do take away from some of the passion that no doubt we’re supposed to feel as Iron Man defends truth, justice and the American way. If Justin Hammer’s eventual downfall is any representational barometer of the final act it is that the film’s action ends with a little more than a fizzled dream; exciting and somewhat filled with potential, sure, but it all comes crashing down quickly and with little more than a mild skirmish which ends exactly the way it should with there being no real danger to anyone or anything. Favreau hasn’t or didn’t learn anything from the all too brief ending to the first film as you go from final confrontation to resolution at breakneck speed. There is no savoring of the moment, no real drama, and the film suffers because of it. Not to be too glib about it but once the final confrontation happens you only have seconds to pay attention or else risk seeing how the ending plays itself out.

Iron Man 2 as a summer artifact is one that fulfills every promise of what a summer tent pole should be: loud, bright, quick, and filled with enough for everyone. It’s a movie that will appeal to a wide spectrum of people on many levels. However, if there is anything to take away from this movie it is that this was a film that consciously decided it was not going to be anything more than what we’ve been given. It’s serviceable, fun but it lacks anything that will carry on long after you see the final moments on the screen. It’s disappointing that it couldn’t stretch beyond comic book-like depth but it’s nonetheless a good reason to get out of the house and enjoy on a big screen.

Contest Round-Up: 2010-05-06

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:18 am

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Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away four (4) copies of DALZIEL & PASCOE: SEASON 1 on DVD.

In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SESAME STREET: THE BEST OF ELMO 2 on DVD.

Win SESAME STREET: THE BEST OF ELMO 2 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:16 am

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In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SESAME STREET: THE BEST OF ELMO 2 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 19th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 19th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win DALZIEL & PASCOE: SEASON 1 on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am

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In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away four (4) copies of DALZIEL & PASCOE: SEASON 1 on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 19th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 19th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

May 6, 2010

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #146: Flip Flop

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 4:29 pm

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #146: Flip Flop – Ken & Dana return to taunt each other with electronics ogling that’s sure to financially ruin them both.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #146 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-146.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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May 5, 2010

TV Or Not TV: I Vote YES for The Candidate (LOST)

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: — admin @ 11:33 pm

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Before I delve into anything about the May 4th episode of LOST I just have to say that there was some very surprising news that I almost didn’t hear on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE later that same night. I’ve been a long time fan of KIMMEL but haven’t watched or DVR’d the show for a long time because I work and already can’t watch all the TV I’ve already got on my plate (another reason to get the HD TiVO already so I can go portable too!). Yesterday, however, Executive Producer of LOST Damon Lindelof sent out the following Tweet:

Sorry, that’s the one I read in my head after watching THE CANDIDATE. The real Tweet was:

JORGE GARCIA was a guest and just at the close of the interview, almost drowned out by the cheers of the crowd and the band as they go to commercial KIMMEL made the special announcement that LOST’s climax would not take up two hours of television programming time that night. It would actually take up 2 and a half hours of programming time. Yup, the series finale just got 22 minutes longer folks because (I’m assuming and hoping) they just couldn’t cram that much awesome into the time they were given.

Now that we’ve gotten that bit of business out of the way, and since I’m sure you’ve already heard or read the news about the finale, let’s move on to taking a look at what happened on the 14th episode of this final season titled THE CANDIDATE. As always I remind you that I write this with the assumption that you are reading this because you’ve already seen the episode so if you haven’t this is your final warning.

I was really looking forward to sitting down today and writing out the fact that I in fact hit the nail on the head with a prediction I had made. I was all excited and I went back to find out what column I had written it in and much to my own horror it turns out that I never actually seemed to write it. This really bummed me out so let me now tell you the words that I could have sworn that I put down in print.

I don’t like to speculate on what is coming up but I really hope that the ‘Candidates’ don’t some how get tricked into going along with whatever UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE has planned. He’s not ‘allowed’ to kill the candidates so this means that he probably wants and needs to kill the candidates. Every time he says he needs them all to get off the ISLAND the part of the sentence that I hear him purposely leaving out is the word ‘dead’ after all and before to get off the ISLAND.

I don’t know what article I completely abandoned and discarded some time after writing that but oh how I wish I still had it to present to you as proof that I saw this one coming. Explained as simply as the way I had before pressing the delete button it’s pretty clear, right? At least I did say in this week’s column for recommendations that with the remaining number of episodes of LOST there was a high probability of an important character body count increase this week, so there’s one for the win column.

Yes, that’s right those of you who didn’t take my warning and have no idea what happened in THE CANDIDATE, main characters died. I knew it was going to happen the very moment that UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE handed JACK his backpack that the previously seen explosives were going to be in that backpack. If UN-LOCKE had a big bad guy soup handle mustache when he handed that backpack over he would have been twirling it with one finger and saying “mwuahahaha” under his breath.

So with most of our favorite LOST-ies stuck in a submarine they found the bomb and did everything wrong. SAYID took a final shot at redemption by grabbing the bomb and running to the other side of the sub before he was blown to bits (which makes sense because SAYID is so bad ass he HAD to go out in a blaze of glory). Our favorite pilot FRANK took a flying door to the face and JIN stayed with SUN after she was trapped behind debris proving that true love means staying with someone so you both can die together. I personally would have had JIN try to break my hip or pelvis so I could be pried out from behind the wreckage but clearly it was time to lighten the load.

This show did leave me with a lot of questions, but not in the usual LOST sense. I wouldn’t say I’m pondering plot holes however there are certain things that don’t add up to me.

  • After SAYID some how gets through the sonic fence he cuts the generator power so all the LOST-ies can be un-caged after UN-LOCKE as SMOKEY JOE takes care of the guards. Shortly after there are two guards at the plane. Why didn’t SMOKEY JOE just go all kinds of nuts and make a clean sweep of the whole smaller ISLAND?
  • JACK figured the bomb couldn’t go off because UN-LOCKE can’t kill any of them. Just like the stick of dynamite he shared with RICHARD ALPERT he’s convinced that nothing will happen. (Think of it like a mathproblem LOCKE can’t kill Candidate and LOCKE makes bomb so LOCKE BOMB can’t kill Candidate). SAWYER doesn’t believe him, pulls the leads, and the timer stops only to quickly speed up (No Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!). How is tampering with a bomb different then JACK lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite if he too can’t kill himself? I have to believe that JACK’s logic was somewhat flawed because he was able to get out of the situation alive so the magic voodoo power of the ISLAND or whatever didn’t need to intercede. This could mean that JACK is probably going to be there to the very end (and doesn’t bode well for SAWYER since he pulled the wires and ka-BOOM!). This is kind of funny to think about since the original intention was to kill JACK at the end of the show’s PILOT episode.
  • Where the hell was CHARLES WIDMORE after the first five minutes? Did he know that LOCKE was coming and made way for the main ISLAND to try to fulfill his electronmagnetic dreams?

The flash-sidewayswhateveritis also pointed out something else that, if allowed to play out, won’t bode very well for flash-sidewayswhateveritis SAWYER since he still has a blood feud with ANTHONY COOPER who it now turns out is a vegetable. Sorry SAWYER, no revenge for you in the other dimension/reality/confusion. This also is the only real revelation to come out of the flash-sidewayswhateveritis other than the fact that LOCKE mutters things about the ISLAND in his sleep and once again JACK is found to be looking into a mirror, this time that of the music box his father left CLAIRE.

Just as many on the Internet have suspected it’s pretty clear that SAYID didn’t in fact kill DESMOND. His little speach about leaving something in a well caused millions of female viewers to cheer all at once.

The one thing that was nice to see was something we haven’t really seen in a while on LOST: actual mourning. After escaping the submarine of doom the quartet of Hurley, Jack, Sawyer and Kate now realize that from all of flight 815 they are all that is left. They’ve just lost two definite friends, 1 kinda friend and 1 dude they shared a secret with. They break down. They cry. All of them (well, except Sawyer because he got bonked on the head and is out of it). It was nice to finally show these characters have a real moment after all hell broke loose. They’re usually running around and dealing with seven types of crazy so they haven’t really had these moments recently. Nice touch.

That’s all I’ve really got to reflect on this week folks. Next week’s episode is titled ACROSS THE SEA and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an AB AETERNO style flashback look at the life of JACOB and UN-LOCKE/SMOKEY JOE, which is perfectly timed since it’s pretty clear now that even though JACOB isn’t a saint SMOKEY JOE is pretty much THE bad guy.

See you next week!

May 4, 2010

TV Or Not TV: 5/3 – 5/9

Filed under: TV Or Not TV — Tags: — admin @ 2:23 am

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More often than not I sit down to write this column and I have to face down the biggest and hardest part of the entire part: finding something intelligent to say about something on television. This can be anything from a breakdown/analysis of what is happening on one of my favorite shows to my take over-all on the direction I see something taking, whatever that thing may in fact be. I toil over this portion because I, unlike many of my print oriented (and some web based) piers, don’t receive early reviewer copies of any of the shows. It can be a bit of an uphill battle but at times I get struck in the head with a bit of an idea that I’m able to run with and I walk away happy. This isn’t one of those weeks.

The truth be told I keep finding less and less time to watch television. Lately I had been literally wasting hours on the weekend to get caught up on the TV shows that I’m interested in watching. For the past two weekends, however, I’ve actually been getting off the of the couch and doing things so I’ve cut down my viewing time even more. I’m a TV critic that has very little time right now to watch TV. What, than, am I to write about?

When I think about that last question the first thing that comes in to my mind is the upcoming end of LOST. A saga is coming to a close with only five hours remaining to be seen, ever. The show leaves me in the same place that I have always been, the same place that the title implies. I’m clueless on where the show is going or what, in fact, is going on. I really want, at this point, to have a better clue of what it is that is happening. The past two seasons did a wonderful job of filling us in by creating their own little mini-mysteries that they answered in a well paced fashion. When it comes to this last season, however, I’m almost tired from all of it. I don’t want the stories to confuse me, I just want them to amaze me and make sense. I’m still thoroughly enjoying the show but it requires far too much attention and effort to keep up with. From the outside looking in I can understand why it is a show that my wife just can’t stand. I’ve come this far on the journey, however, so I’m in it for the full haul. I’m also hoping this week really has some good stuff in it so I have more to write about as the week progresses.

Since I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t have much to highlight up here let’s actually travel below where we can find out what it is that we might or might not want to watch this week, shall we?

MONDAY

NBC – 8:00 PM: The Fred Willard TV tour continues as he pops up on this week’s CHUCK along side Swoosie Kurtz (whose name still sounds like a form of sea sickness to me) playing a husband and wife CIA team. All the real TV critics say their performance tonight is stellar.

TLC – 8:00 PM: After all of the drama surrounding the upcoming World Dwarf Games on LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG WORLD last week Matt drops the bombshell that he won’t be able to travel to Belfast for the first few days of the game. The nerve!

CBS – 9:00 PM: Sheldongoest to extreme measures to keep Leonard and Penny happy once they stop speaking to one another on tonight’s BIG BANG THEORY. Apparently ‘extreme measures’ means time-shifting the show into the slot that TWO ANDA HALF MEN usually occupies.

FOX – 9:00 PM: Jack Bauer stops at nothing to avenge Renee‘s death on 24. OK, maybe it was Jack who pushed BIG BANG THEORY back 30 minutes because he can do anything.

BRAVO – 10:00 PM: You would think after seeing themselves on television last year THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEYwould have considered some slight attitude adjustments. Change who they are? Fahgedaboudit!

TUESDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight on AMERICAN IDOL we find Harry Conick Jr. mentoring the five finalists on singing the songs of Frank Sinatra, and an entire generation is lost wondering who either of those people are.

NBC – 8:00 PM: I know I talk about THE BIGGEST LOSERevery single week but if you are not happy about your weight and you want inspiration then tune in tonight because it’s the makeover show. These people get spruced up and we get assaulted with tons of before and after pics. I would almost guarantee instant inspiration and motivation.

ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, I know I also talk about LOST just about every week it is on but seriously folks, we’re down to the last five hours of this show…. ever…. the body count has to start going up, right? Oh, and if you’ve never watched a single episode of LOST you really may get a kick out of THIS BLOG where the writer is someone watching this final season without seeing a single episode prior. Great for fans and non-fans alike. So enjoyable I just re-read it and lost 25 minutes that I could have been writing this column with. Damn!

FOX – 9:00 PM: I seriously have no idea what is going on with GLEE this week. Sue is singing again plus Olivia-Newton John is a special guest (again, a generation wonders who she is and I cry a little inside).

WEDNESDAY

A&E – 8:00 AM: Can anyone tell me why there’s an all day marathon of BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR?

FOX – 9:00 PM: If my prayers have been answered then tonight when Harry Conick Jr. and Lady Gaga perform on AMERICAN IDOL it will be in duet form in the most PICASSO inspired visual performance the world has ever seen! This will, however, not be the night my prayers have been answered.

ABC – 9:00 PM: Gloria invites the entire family on a trip to Hawaii on tonight’s MODERN FAMILY. Not since The Brady Bunch have I looked this forward to a Hawaiin getaway. Please someone tell me that Phil finds a cursed tiki doll!

THURSDAY

FOX – 8:00 PM: The circle of literature life is complete as the author of the books BONES was based upon pens the script for tonight’s episode.

NBC – 8:00 PM:An on-campus paintball competition unleashes the dogs of war in the most glorious and loving paradoy of action films ever seen on a sitcom on tonight’s COMMUNITY. No wonder this show received an early renewal.

CBS – 8:00 PM: Why lie? I’m two week’s behind on SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS and I have no idea what’s going on with the show currently. Even after that admission I have no fear is saying it’s still possibly the best season of SURVIVOR ever.

FOX – 8:00 PM: Someone visits from ‘the other side’ on tonight’s episode of FRINGE. How awesome would it be if it were just some random file clerk named Gary who has no idea he’s even in a different reality/universe?

MTV – 10:00 PM: Four Finnish fellows take over the Jackass mantle as they abuse themselves for your pleasure in THE DUDESONS IN AMERICA. Before you write it off as a Jackass rip-off I should tell you the show is executive produced by Johhny Knoxeville himself so think of it as a companion show where he gets smart and pays other people to risk body and health.

FRIDAY

TheCW – 8:00 PM: Mama Kent returns to SMALLVILLE and she’s dating PERRY WHITE! Oh yeah, CLARKalso searshes for a way to deal with the Kandorians… still.

CBS – 9:00 PM: Ariel loses days and years of time and has to someone look to her future self for the way to get back to the past on tonight’s MEDIUM. I know, it makes no sense to me either.

STARZ – 10:00 PM: After last week’s charity auction it will be nice to see the PARTY DOWN team get back to a more wholesome and relatable gathering like the orgy they cater tonight. Wait, what?

SATURDAY

TLC – 2:00 PM: June bride’s who might be wanting a break from their impending nuptials may want to stay away from five straight hours of SAY YES TO THE DRESS. Wait until 6:00 PM so you can watch in horror at 8 straight hours of TODDLERS & TIARAS.

SYFY – 9:00 PM: I’m dying to know what network executive heard the title of the movie MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM and thought, “Oh yeah, that’s movie GOLD!”

NBC – 11:30 PM: The Internet demanded it so ladies and gentlemen SNL proudly presents to you tonight’s special guest host Betty White!

SUNDAY

DHC – 5:00 PM: Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like a marathon of I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT. It’s nice to see that someone at Discovery Health has a sense of humor.

CBS – 8:00 PM: THE AMAZING RACE 16 comes to a close and I can only say, “I never watched you.”

FOX – 8:00 PM: Mo writes letters to the vacationing Homer,Rev. Lovejoy and Apu that he will run away with one of their wives on this special Mother’s Day edition of THE SIMPSONS.

CBS – 9:00 PM: Tom Selleck returns for his sixth time to TV as the title character in JESSE STONE: NO REMORSE. Why oh why can’t they do a Magnum, P.I. reunion instead?

A&E 9:30 PM: On GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS I’m more than a bit shocked that Gene accepts an invitation to compete on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

ABC – 9:00 PM: OK, in all seriousness, John Barrowman‘s character Patrick on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES really gives me the creeps.

April 30, 2010

Trailer Park: THE GOOD HEART & ITS COMPLICATED

Filed under: Trailer Park — admin @ 4:21 am

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

The Good Heart – Poster Giveaway

goodheart_poster_1-535x793Those who saw There Will Be Blood ought to err on the side of hyperbole when describing Paul Dano’s performance in that film.

Movies like Little Miss Sunshine and Gigantic have shown Dano to be an actor who isn’t just earning roles based on how he looks on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, espousing him as the next new “IT” actor, he’s getting work because he’s just good at what he does.

That looks like it’s continuing with the movie The Good Heart, a film by Dagur Kári. Kári directed 2003’s wonderful Nói, a movie about a boy looking to escape his life in one of the more honest and truthful looks into teenage frustration ever to be made. The Good Heart looks like it is another film that wants to just zero in on a few people and let the actors work their way through it. It’s an intimate portrait of people living on the edge of nothingness and, in support of the film, I have two posters SIGNED by Paul Dano himself. If you’re interested in winning just shoot me your favorite Paul Dano movie and I’ll enter you in a drawing to win one of these beauties. The address is Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com.

The Good Heart opens today in theaters.

The film’s synoposis:

Brian Cox stars as Jacques, the curmudgeonly owner of a gritty   New York dive bar that serves as home to a motley assortment of professional drinkers. Jacques is determinedly drinking and smoking himself to death when he meets Lucas (Dano), a homeless young man who has already given up on life.  Determined to keep his legacy alive, Jacques deems Lucas is a fitting heir and takes him under his wing, schooling him in the male-centric laws of his alcoholic clubhouse: no new customers, no fraternizing with customers and, absolutely no women. Lucas is a quick study, but their friendship is put to the test when the distraught and beautiful April (Isild Le Besco) shows up at the bar seeking shelter, and Lucas insists they help her out.

It’s Complicated – DVD Giveaway

itscomplicated_posterI realize that this movie’s inclusion into such a testosterone fulled column is a little strange, weird even.

Fact of the matter remains, though, that like LL Cool J, the ladies love me. Hey, it’s not a fact I really want to believe but how can I deny the 50% of my audience who carry the double X the opportunity to feel special? So, in that regard I am bringing you a contest to win one of a few DVDs for the latest cinematic gem from Nancy Meyers, directorial talent behind Something’s Gotta Give, What Women Want, and even The Holiday. Clearly, if you haven’t seen any of these movies you haven’t had a significant other in quite some time. On top of feeling sorry for you I am going to humbly request you not enter this contest as I want people who have an idea of what Hollywood thinks of love to get this little gem added to their collection.

All you need to do in order to be entered into this drawing is to send me your name and address to Christopher_Stipp@yahoo.com.

It’s Complicated is now out on DVD and Blu-ray

More about the film:

Jane (Streep) is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has – after a decade of divorce – an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake (Baldwin). But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son’s college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable – an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness (Lake Bell), Jane is now, of all things, the other woman.

Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam (Martin), an architect hired to remodel Jane’s kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he’s become part of a love triangle. Should Jane and Jake move on with their lives, or is love truly lovelier the second time around? It’s…complicated.

Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #145: Get ‘Em, Flash!

Filed under: Ken P.D. Snydecast — Tags: , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:30 am

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Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #145: Get ‘Em, Flash! – Ken & Dana return with talk of beard growth rates, celebrity death encounters, class reunions, coloring books, and a master thespian.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #145 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-145.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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April 28, 2010

Contest Round-Up: 2010-04-28

Filed under: Articles — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:35 am

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Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of IT’S COMPLICATED on Blu-Ray.

In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of HAMLET on DVD & Blu-Ray.

In conjunction with New Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of THE AWKWARD COMEDY SHOW on DVD.

Win THE AWKWARD COMEDY SHOW on DVD!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:34 am

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In conjunction with New Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of THE AWKWARD COMEDY SHOW on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win HAMLET on DVD & Blu-Ray!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:28 am

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In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of HAMLET on DVD & Blu-Ray.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Win IT’S COMPLICATED on Blu-Ray!

Filed under: Contests — Tags: , , , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:23 am

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In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of IT’S COMPLICATED on Blu-Ray.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

CLOSED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

Official Rules

No member of FRED Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, May 12th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

Bagged & Boarded 54: Just A Little Stoned

Filed under: Bagged & Boarded — Tags: , , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:11 am

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What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.

Are they heroes?

No.

Are they geniuses?

Far from it.

Are they the future of this planet?

I sure hope not.

Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.

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BAGGED & BOARDED #54: Just A Little Stoned – In which Matt and Jesse get current and discuss the new MIA video, Gizmodogate, and a slew of other newsworthy topics. Oh, and Matt is ridiculously high. Bagged and Boarded: Purely Professional since 1874.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #54 (MP3 format)

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/baggedboarded/bagged_boarded-54.mp3]

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Matt & Jesse at the B & B mailbag.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE BAGGED & BOARDED ARCHIVES

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April 27, 2010

Musical MySpace Tour #9

Filed under: Musical Myspace Tour — Tags: , , , — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:47 pm

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I’m currently packing for a trip to Atlanta tomorrow in order to take part in www.RedNoseNet.com so I didn’t have time this week to talk about the album “Volume 2” from She & Him (which is going to be my soundtrack for this summer, I can already tell) and the new album coming out from The Bluetones called A New Athens (which I got a pre-general release listen to and knocked my socks off). It’s a shame because by the time I do another one of these they’ll be old news. Just go listen to them yourself and thank me later. Luckily though I only had a few requests in my inbox this time round so let’s get cracking.

This is my MySpace music review column. There are many like it, but this one’s mines. My MySpace page is my best friend. It is my life. I must master my friends list as I must master my life. Without me, my MySpace is useless, without my MySpace, I am useless. I must fire my reviews true. I must shoot straighter than my readers who are trying to kill me, I must shoot the musicians before they shoot me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: My music review column and myself are the defenders of MySpace, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my ears. So be it, until there is no friend requests, but peace. Amen
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myspace-wrilWRIL
www.myspace.com/wrillove

Wril is an R&B crooner from Chicago. I don’t get too many R&B singers sending me requests. Due to this being such an unusual event I feel I should do something a little different with this critique. I’m going to summon the pop gods of American Idol in order to truly give Wril the grilling he deserves.

Randy Jackson: Yo dawg, listen up. You know I like you right? I like what you’re doing. Some sexy ballads with an old school vibe. You and me are old school, right dawg? But yo, listen up. You were on pitch most of the time, I can’t fault you for that but I felt it lacked a bit of power is places. I needed it to punch through to the other side. But overall I thought it was nice. Good job. What you think, E?

Ellen Degeneres: Are you wrilly Wril? I wrilly don’t know. But I do know that I liked it. Your performance had some touching moments. I enjoyed it. It was definitely entertaining. But your name is wrilly silly.

Kara DioGuardi: First of all, let me make gestures with my hands for about 5 minutes. Then make ridiculous constipated faces… I really felt your emotion when singing. I felt like you really connected with your music and that this was a work of passion for you. Don’t you just want to punch me in the face though? I mean, seriously, how annoying am I?

Simon Cowell: If we’re being honest with each other here, and we are, that wasn’t great. It was OK, you sang it well and it was genuine but I’ve heard this a million times before and a million times better. I just don’t see how I can make enough money out of you for this to be worth it. Please fuck off.

And that’s kind of how I felt about it all. Nice to listen to, I can’t fault the guy for being sincere, but unfortunately nothing really stood out as being amazing. As a result it means the whole thing has to be classified as a bit average. But I wouldn’t put the guy down.

And Wrily really is a silly name. Made worse by song titles “She’s The Wril Deal”, “I Wrilly Want To Be Yours” and “Wril Love”. Barf.

Presentation = 4/5
Content = Some lame bio but plenty of music on show.
Music = 3/5
Friend Request = DENIED!

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myspace-alxALX GEE
www.myspace.com/alxgee7780

If you think you have heard Alx Gee’s songs before, it’s possibly because you’ve heard them blaring from the inside of a Fiat Punto as it’s tracksuit bedazzled driver sped past you. Yes, Mr Gee is a purveyor of dance music.

It would be fair to say that I have no interest in this. In any way shape or form. Unless I’m rat-arsed drunk in a club, dance music doesn’t speak to me. Not this kind anyway. I could mention the good stuff like Daft Punk, Faithless, Chemical Brothers etc but because they’re so good they transcend dance music and incorporate a little bit of everything. They’re more than just “put your hands in the air” cheesy house techno.

As a result of my feelings, I was never going to give this a fair shake. It sounds like something I used to make with the Music game on my Playstation 1.

There is also a weird thing I noticed (and no, I’m not talking about his name). In the “Friends” section of his profile he has a second profile of himself. Interested, I clicked to find that it’s the exact same profile in every way except he has two different songs rather than the three he has on the other page. What is the point of this?

Also, how does this dude have over 225,000 plays on each song? That’s insane for an unsigned artist. I mean, the guy has a desperate plea for a manager in his bio. How is he pulling this off? I’ve got to tip my hat to him for this at the very least.

There isn’t much to his page though. Three songs, no videos and his pictures are set to private (I had to google search for a picture to put in this article). Meh. Back to the loch with you Nessie.

Presentation = 3/5
Content = Shite all.
Music = 2/5
Friend Request = DENIED!

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myspace-poeticPOETIC K
www.myspace.com/poetic_k

This woman is a bit of a bombshell. There seems to be a trend with this column that every week I get at least one friend request from a musician that just stumps me. Poetic K is a head scratcher. First of all let me try and describe the music or at least categorize it.

Poetic is a good moniker to give herself as there is a major hint that Ms. K is some sort of modern beatnik punk poet. Most of her songs sound like poems being recited to an alt rock soundtrack. She never really sings and she doesn’t really shout. It’s a kind of Marilyn Monroe performance; if she hung out with some goths. I don’t think she could squeeze any more sex or cutesy tone into her voice if she got a crowbar and Tweetie Pie.

Now I’ve never believed there to be much influence from a producer in rock music. Hip-Hop, certainly, but not rock. However, if ever there was someone screaming out for the need of a producer it’s this lady. Or at the very least better sound equipment because whoever put this together leaves things very loose. Now I understand that she’s probably going for that freaky, free style but it just comes across as sloppy. Sound dips and raises in bizarre places, it’s so off that I refuse to believe it’s on purpose.

I think if this was my first week doing this, I would probably have torn Poetic K a new one but to be honest I think she honestly has to be put in perspective. While I don’t think I’ll ever be on board for this kind of artsy rock I have to give her kudos for at the very least being an original sound. I come by so many sound-a-likes and generic bands that to have someone who even gets my attention and makes me think is a bit of a winner.

Give her a listen. At worst, you’ll know what’s going on in Berlin.

Presentation = 1/5
Content = Messy lay out but I suppose there is more than enough here to keep you occupied.
Music = 3/5
Friend Request = DISAPPEARED!

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– If you want to be in the firing line for one of Aaron’s reviews, send a friend request to www.myspace.com/aaronhbp and he will reload for next time.

Party Favors: Deadly Impact

Filed under: Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 10:47 pm

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ALBUQUERQUE — This sleepy town is getting rocked awake by a mad bomber in Deadly Impact. Thomas Armstrong (Boondock Saints‘s Sean Patrick Flanery) is a cop that is forced to shoot his wife in order to save 10 people that are being held hostage by The Lion (The Matrix‘s Joe Pantoliano). The ugliness of the moment cause Armstrong to quit the force and devote himself to booze. Eight years later The Lion reappears. The FBI wants Armstrong’s help in identifying him, but can he tangle with the diabolical madman who has promised to blow up the city?

Deadly Impact is an action rush with Pantoliano using the power of Bluetooth for evil. Here’s the trailer for the film:

The movie is out on DVD this week. I had a chance to swap email with Director Robert Kurtzman and Producer David S. Greathouse. The duo had previously made Buried Alive. Kurtzman is a special effects veteran having contributed to over a hunder movies including Predator, Hostel, Army of Darkness and Bubba Ho-tep. Greathouse is executive producer on Saint John of Las Vegas starring Steve Buscemi, Sarah SIlverman and Peter Dinklage.

Party Favors: What attracted you to the script for Deadly Impact?

Robert Kurtzman: It’s a well written script and Its an action/thriller which was something different and challenging for me. I love action films as much as I do horror. I’d worked with producer David Greathouse on several films prior including Buried Alive which I’d directed for him and we have a great working relationship which was also a big attraction for me. Dave’s a very smart producer and he always puts a great team together which as a director is very important. I know he has my back and I have his.

With your background in special effects, do you find it hard to read a script without immediately thinking how you’d devise a prop?

Robert Kurtzman: Yes… but it’s actually helpful when you’re trying to envision a sequence that maybe budget restrictive and you have to come up with alternatives in how you shoot or stage the action to accommodate the schedule. This film wasn’t a heavy creature FX film so in that sense I was free to concentrate on other aspects of the production.

Where did you first cross paths with Sean Patrick Flanery?

Robert Kurtzman: We actually met on this film. After reading the script he was the first actor that came to mind for the role of Tom Armstrong and luckily the studio agreed. I can’t imagine the film without him in it.

Do you get a certain buzz knowing that when you cast Joe Pantoliano, you get to figure out his hairstyle?

Robert Kurtzman: We did a bunch of rough sketches of the different character looks for the film and then designed the prosthetics and body suits accordingly. We were very lucky because Joey has his own lace wig collection from other films which we were able to utilize.

What do you think is key to create tension when actors are talking on the phone? Does Bluetooth free up an actor?

Robert Kurtzman: Building tension in the edit and camera movement. We had quite a bit of the back and forth with them on the phone and it was key to have things build and get more tense as Kaplow played his game with Tom. Bluetooth does free them up to be more animated, actors love doing things with their hands.

How does using the VIPER alter your approach to filmmaking visually? Do you have to modify the action or effects for the format?

Robert Kurtzman: I didn’t have to change my approach at all. It was just like shooting 35mm except I was able to shoot more coverage as I had no restriction on the amount of film I could shoot a day. Everything is captured to hard drives and you pretty much see what you’re getting on the monitors. The camera also has the ability to create presets for different lighting and color looks so we had selections for day and night shooting which we were able to punch up on the computer so scenes would carry the same look from one to another. The other thing that’s great about shooting digital is I don’t have to keep cutting and reload film when the actors are getting into a groove. You just let the camera roll and if someone fumbles a line or the camera move isn’t working you can just drop back to first position and pick it right up without having to cut.

Were there any explosions on the location?

Robert Kurtzman: Yes we had several explosions, two cars and the third story of a building.

How hard is it to juggle an active career in both special effects and directing features?

Robert Kurtzman: It’s not that tough because when I’m not directing I do effects work and when I’m direct a picture I supervise the effects in the planning stage and then let my crew take over on the day to day issues with fabricating and operating on the set.

Do you find your casting based on who you enjoyed being around on other sets?

Robert Kurtzman: Obviously you always try to surround yourself with people that you have a good working relationship with but it’s really about casting the right actor for the part. On this film almost all the actors were local New Mexico talent and only the two leads, Sean and Joey were brought in. I had never worked with any of them before.

Were you on the set of Predator when Jean Claude Van Damme was fired? Did you get a sense that he wasn’t going to be happy inside the suit?

Robert Kurtzman: No. I was hired as part of Stan Winston’s crew after all that went down and they decided to change the look of the monster. I worked in the studio but never went to set in Mexico.

Now the Party Favors chats with producer David S. Greathouse:

What made you bring Deadly Impact together?

David Greathouse: I had really wanted to make an action film with Robert for a while and I knew it would be a fun challenge to try to make with the resources we had.

With the Viper system, did you have post-production during production? Is it nice not to have to wait for dailies when on location?

David Greathouse: Yes, it’s always nice to be able to look at the footage before you leave a set to insure you have everything you need. Obviously, this eliminates the potential for costly re-shoots.

As a producer, what do you feel is your prime responsibility to the movie project?

David Greathouse: There are a lot of equally important responsibilities that change as the production moves from phase to phase. During development, the main thing is to get the money to make the film. During production it’s to make sure the money is spent wisely and insure the team’s creative vision is being recorded. During post, it’s to support the director and make sure he has the tools needed to make the film great. It really changes from minute to minute depending on the circumstances.

What is your favorite myth about producers?

David Greathouse: That we are all rich!

New Mexico seems to be attracting a lot of productions. What drew you to the state?

David Greathouse: Initially, the incentives. But, I’ve made a lot of films there now and I keep going back because of the crew that I am so fortunate to work with while in New Mexico. I’ve made good friends with some very talented people out there.

Did you have to avoid certain locations since they’d been used in Breaking Bad?

David Greathouse: No, we shot this film before Breaking Bad began production.

Is it nice to work with a director who knows how to work out an effect without it busting the budget? Or did Robert Kurtzman still want to push the budget?

David Greathouse: Robert and I have been good friends for a long time and we collaborate very well. He tells me what he needs and I try to get it for him. When it turns out that the budget can’t support the idea he has he knows it’s not me being cheap but that it’s just too expensive. He and I work together to find a suitable alternative. It’s a good partnership.

What was it like to make Teenage Caveman with Larry Clark (Kids and Bully)?

David Greathouse: At the time, I was a development executive for Stan Winston Productions. Teenage Caveman was one of ten projects we developed for the creature feature series for HBO. Of those ten scripts the studio chose the five that were to get made. Working on that project was…interesting.

Did you get to work directly with Samuel Z Arkoff on your early productions? If so, what essential lessons did you learn from him?

David Greathouse: Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity to work with Sam.

GET THE CRAZY

I watch Pretty Wild to mock the three wannabe models and their dippy mother who used to be an underwear model. It’s Must Spite TV at the compound. In the middle of an episode, the mother starts quoting The Secret. I started howling at how this woman has latched onto the fad quasi-religion until it struck me that she’s a success story of the book. All her life she has imagined herself as a famewhore and now she’s there. She’s got a TV series on E! She’s got a camera crew that swear her moronic trio of young girls are famous. And I’m watching her. What I don’t get is what image she put on her mirror to make her wish to be a fame whore. According to The Secret infomercial, a kid put up a pic of a bike and wished for one until his mommy bought him that bike. In my day, we called that incessant whining. What did Pretty Wild mom worship for success? The best guess is a picture of the Kardashians – the ultimate family of famewhores. And it paid off since they’re E! neighbors. I’m going to go put a picture of The Secret book on my mirror in hopes that I find a copy discarded next to a dead possum carcass.

BOTTOMS UP

Those washed up celebrities on Sober House really need to chill out with a couple shots of Scotch. Can the producers quit referring to that one guy as the lead singer of Crazy Town. He’s only famous now for being a constant guest star on VH1’s Rehab shows.

THE SALLY JESSY TREATMENT

WHACK A MOVIE

What producer of Transformers has major plans to make a movie out of Chuck E. Cheese? You thought Stretch Armstrong was the rock bottom of Hollywood creativity, wait till Chuck E. Cheese: The Cinematic Slice hits the screen in the summer of 2012. Nic Cage wants the lead role bad. Rumor has it the script pages will taste about the same as the pizza.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Avatar Blu-ray + DVD combo arrives in time for your Earth Day celebrations. James Cameron has finally made an eco-thriller that entertains. Remember when Steven Seagal crash and burned with Fire Down Below? We’re taken to another world dubbed Pandora where the blue Na’vi battle fierce creatures to survive. A heartless corporation wants to mine the lush land for a rare element. Their big plot to take care of the natives involving fake Na’vi that are mentally controlled by marines. Things go wrong in the program when the tough military minds go native inside their blue avatar bodies. Can the military industrial complex overcome love? The coolest part of the film is how the CGI world looks like Roger Dean’s paintings done for Yes albums. It’s like the kinda fantasy landscapes dreamt up by a college sophomore getting wasted in his dorm room while listening to Rush’s Moving Pictures. Now that kid can get wasted while watching Avatar if they have an HDTV. If they only have a standard TV, they can still enjoy the otherworldly explosive romance with the DVD and hold onto the Blu-ray for when they go home to watch mom do their laundry.

The Blu-ray’s 1080p image is stunning on parents’ HDTV. The details come out of the floating jungle. You can hit freeze frame and have instant art on the wall. For those wanting to truly get lost in the screen, this not the 3-D version. No news when that will be released so you can watch it on the 3-D TV over at HH Gregg. This is a barebones edition. No commentary tracks or behind the scenes features that explain the creation of the Roger Dean influenced world. Word is that the mega-edition of Avatar will be coming in time for Christmas. But why wait to enjoy the action of blue people versus marine space helicopters? Here’s a little video sample to remind you why this was the biggest box office hit of all time.

DVD SHELF

Perry Mason Season 5, Volume 1 contains 15 more of the finest legal action. Raymond Burr plays the lawyer that never lets his clients down. He’s the man in the courtroom who never looks foolish. “The Case of the Malicious Mariner” has a First officer toss a million dollars worth of cargo into the sea to avoid capsizing. His captain is murdered before he can testify at the maritime court. Perry has to clear this guy of the dumping and the homicide. “The Case of the Crying Comedian” suspects Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester) of evil! A comic returns to town to find his lost love. However she’s married even though the guy is a creep that’s had her tossed into the looney bin a few times. The bad husband ends up in the grave. Did the comic kill him with laughter? “The Case of the Unwelcome Bride” gives the teaming of DeForest Kelley (Star Trek‘s Dr. McCoy) and Alan Hale Jr (Gilligan’s Island‘s The Skipper. A dad feels his son’s wife has made him a loser. He’s not quite thrilled when she’s the main suspect in his son’s death. Can Perry bring them together? The series remains effective and thrilling with Perry making fools of DA Hamilton Burger and Lt. Tragg. There’s no bonus features. The nice thought is that the first half of the series is finally out on DVD.

I Love Lucy: The Movie is the bonus disc from I Love Lucy: The Complete Series. Now all the folks who bought the individual boxsets can quit contemplating put their stuff on eBay for the sake of a single disc. Is it worth it? Yes. “I Love Lucy: The Movie” had them string 3 episodes together for a theatrical feature. The cool part is the opening which has people arrive to watch the filming of the show. Thrill to the soundstage which brought so much hilarity. William Frawley gets to be himself as he waves to the audience. “Lucy Goes to Scotland” is a colorized episode that looks like they had broken out the Technicolor cameras on the set. Using color film shot behind the scenes that day, the hue artists get it right. The crazy redhead really does have red hair as she dreams of visiting the town. There are clips of the show winning the Emmy. Desi Arnaz takes time to point out that there needs to be awards for the writers at the Emmys. What a class act of a guy. It is nice to have this on the shelf so I no longer fight the impulse to buy the Complete Series.

Tales From The Darkside: The Third Season gives us more bumps in the night from executive producer George Romero (Night of the Living Dead). This was a syndicated series that aired in the mid-80s on Saturday night along with Friday 13th: The Series. Tales was a horror anthology with plenty of familiar faces to get spooked. “The Geezenstacks” gives us Larry Pine and a haunted dollhouse. “The Milkman Cometh” has Robert Forster and Seymour Cassel getting wishes fulfilled by the guy from the dairy. “My Ghostwriter – The Vampire” reminds us of when Jeff Conaway wasn’t a near vegetable on VH1 Rehab shows. “Everybody Needs a Little Love” is an early version of Lars and the Real Girl with Jerry Orbach (Dirty Dancing). There’s 22 episodes with enough queasy chills and jolts to keep you up past midnight. Let’s start the rumor that the fourth (and final season) will be out before Halloween.

Penn & Teller Bullshit: The Seventh Season is investigative journalism from the infamous magic act that aired on Showtime. The duo know how to do a cable news show since their special reports often feature nudity. The topics are conversation worthy. “Videogames” has them give a gun to a child who likes shooter games. Does he have the will to kill? “Orgasms” questions folks who claim they can make you rock it like a porn star. How much are people willing to pay to pop? “Apocalypse” debunks the whole 2012 end of the world business. Does this mean I’ll have to pay for my living room? “Organic Foods” was not sponsored by Whole Foods. “Lawns” delves into people who go nuts over their grass. What’s wrong with an astroturf front yard? Nine near-Freakonomically episodes are spread over 2 DVDs. Why aren’t these episodes rerun on Comedy Central after Colbert?

SWEDE ROCK

If you only can attend one rock festival this summer, let it be Sweden Rock Festival. This is the only place I know that dares to book the ultimate line up including Guns N’ Roses, Slayer, Danzig, Aldo Nova and Rick Springfield. Imagine how cool it would be to be partying backstage with Axl, Aldo, Danzig and Rick. The festival is from July 9-12 in Solvesborg. Hopefully that Icelandic volcano won’t kill the fun. Anvil is part of the show. Maybe they can make another film about them hanging with Aldo and Rick. Axl will just kick their ass for pointing a camera at him. You can get more info at www.swedenrock.com.

COMING SOON

James Cameron Plants a Tree in 3-D. Adjust your red and blue flames accordingly.

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