FRED Entertainment

April 9, 2007

QSE News: 4/9/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:19 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe Will Ferrell vehicle Blades of Glory was number one at the box office this past weekend for the second week in a row. The film’s originality and continued success will still surely spawn a number of copycat films in which downtrodden athletes battle against the odds to become champions… just like last week.
  • Fall Out Boy is postponing the start of the Honda Civic tour. Bass player and cheerleader Pete Wentz said the opening show was canceled for “personal issues.” Insiders were quick to note that although Wentz referred to them as “personal issues,” their names are actually Jennifer and Kelly.
  • Violinist Joshua Bell has won the coveted Avery Fisher Prize and a purse worth $75,000. The Avery Fisher Prize is so difficult to earn that the prize has not been awarded in three years. Bell won the prize despite being a wussy violinist.
  • Writer/Director/God Amongst Men Kevin Smith has finally revealed some plans for his upcoming horror film, Red State. Smith, known primarily for making comedies, is set to make his horror genre debut with an evildoer based on Kansas preacher Fred Phelps. Insiders are saying that to up the film’s horror and gore, Smith is considering casting Hilary Swank in the lead role.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 8, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/9/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:51 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Little Lulu, Little Lulu, with freckles on your chin… (Thingamabob)
  • Kermit visits LeVar and Reading Rainbow(Thingamabob)
  • Jimmy Olsen, world’s best quasi-sidekick… (Thingamabob)
  • And after seeing the first one, you’ll want to see more of those Full House outtakes… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 6, 2007

Comics in Context #172: Nightcrawler’s Other Self

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 5:57 am
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SUNDAY, FEB. 25, 2 PM

cic2007-04-06.jpgI was sitting in Room 1E16 of the Javits Center, waiting for the start of the last panel I would attend at this year’s New York Comic-Con, “Dave Cockrum Remembered.” Cockrum is best known as a fan favorite artist on DC’s Legion of Super-Heroes in the 1970s, and as the co-creator of the “new” X-Men, who debuted in Giant-Size X-Men #1 back in 1975. For that landmark issue, Cockrum and writer Len Wein jointly created three of the X-Men’s most prominent members, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Storm, all of whom were derived from drawings in Cockrum’s legendarily voluminous sketchbooks. Cockrum, whom I interviewed decades ago for Fantagraphics’ X-Men Companion, was one of the foremost superhero comics artists of the 1970s and early 1980s. But a new generation of readers and editors seemed oblivious to his considerable talents. Worse, Cockrum became seriously ill with pneumonia and diabetes, and he finally passed away last November.

There were four speakers on the panel. First was the moderator, Clifford Meth, Cockrum’s longtime friend. In 2004 Meth edited a tribute book, filled with contributions from other comics artists and writers, to raise money to pay for Cockrum’s medical care. Aardwolf Publishing has just republished the book in hardcover form as The Uncanny Dave Cockrum, with additional artwork by Cockrum and other comics professionals. During Cockrum’s lifetime Meth also successfully negotiated a deal with Marvel whereby Cockrum would receive royalties for the members of the X-Men he co-created.

Also on the panel were three of Cockrum’s collaborators on X-Men: writer Chris Claremont, editor Louise Simonson, and inker Joe Rubinstein. Present as well was Paul Levitz, president and publisher of DC Comics, who is also renowned for his work on the Legion of Super-Heroes. (During the panel Levitz pointed out that his run on the Legion followed Cockrum’s, but that they did collaborate on a short story in Legion #300.)

Following his appearance at last year’s New York Comic-Con, Claremont had health problems of his own, and had vanished from public view for months. However, he looked hale, hearty, and energetic as a participant on the Cockrum panel.

Starting the panel, Meth said he would “open with a joke,” which proved to be a grim one. He recalled visiting Cockrum in the hospital three years ago. Cockrum had tubes in his throat and arms, in such a bad state that he was being fed through his rectum. On this occasion, Meth said, Cockrum felt “antsy” and told the nurse he “needs a cup of coffee.” The nurse warned Cockrum about it, but Cockrum said, “I don’t care.” So the nurse poured some coffee through the aforementioned orifice, and Cockrum screamed. “Was it too hot?” asked the nurse. Cockrum replied, “Too sweet.”

And that said a lot about Cockrum’s personality. Meth then told the audience that Cockrum had been released from the hospital, but that “we lost Dave” at the end of November. Meth brought up the tribute book and said that there “wasn’t a single person in the industry who didn’t want to participate in the tribute while Dave was alive.”

Louise Simonson praised Cockrum as “really good-natured.” With her taste for the concise, she explained simply that he was “a really good guy. That’s it.”

Claremont reminisced that when “You sat down” with Cockrum and “started talking ideas, you never knew where they would lead you,” or “where he would inspire you to go with it.”

In the “early days, working on X-Men“ in the 1970s, Claremont said, “We wanted to do aliens.” X-Men was a book about mutants, but “Why not? If we could imagine it, let’s do it. Suddenly he would come in with design sketches for spaceships based on bugs” and “beetles,” referring to the Shi’ar spacecraft that you can see in X-Men (first series) #97 (1976) and subsequent issues. Then Claremont recalled the “race of evolved dinosaurs” they had come up with for “two issues of Ms. Marvel“ (#20 and 21 in 1978) and expressed his “frustration” that they could “never take” the idea further because the “book got canceled.”

“With Dave it was a never-ending delight,” Claremont said, “every time you explored imagination with him.” You “left wishing other people could see with those eyes,” and there could be “more books, more opportunity” to work with him. But, Claremont added, sounding a recurring theme for this panel, “how transitory the creative turned out to be.” He was talking about how his periods of collaboration with Cockrum inevitably came to an end, for one reason or another, but one could not help but think of the end of a creative artist’s life, as well.

Paul Levitz told the audience that it was “important to put it in context,” and that the “time when Chris did his X-Men work with Dave” and “when Dave did his Legion work” was a “period when the heart of the comic industry was set up” so that people would “not to do more than necessary to get your paycheck”: there were “no royalties” and “no shares” in the profits for freelancers. Levitz recalled an old joke: “They pretend to pay us, we pretend to work.”

Then Levitz stated that “from his first moment as an artist in the field” Cockrum was “not only generous in spirit but had a generosity of creativity to his readers.” Cockrum “would labor for hours recostuming a Legionnaire,” and designed “modern costumes for each Legionnaire,” most of whom had been created twenty years earlier. If it was decided “let’s do aliens,” Levitz said, Cockrum would “come back with an entire universe of aliens sketched out.” According to Levitz, the “old pros of the period” wouldn’t do such a thing, and would say, “they’re not paying me to do this,” while the “young pros breaking in generally didn’t have the skill yet.” Cockrum, Levitz continued, was “one of the first” whose attitude was “Screw the deal. I’ve got to give this everything I’ve got.”

Joking that the panel’s unanimity of opinion might be getting “monotonous,” Joe Rubinstein agreed that “Dave was a really nice guy.” But Rubinstein found his own variation on the theme, telling us that “Dave was childlike.” with regard to working in comics, “he loved it, he loved it. If you paid him he’d like it better.” If Cockrum hadn’t been employed in the comics industry, Rubinstein contended, “he would’ve worked in a shoe store [or] a bookstore, and go home and draw the Blackhawks.” Rubinstein summed up, “His work was filled with joy.”

Thanks to the way the comics industry ran in the 1970s, Cockrum did not receive a cut of the money Marvel made from characters he had co-created.
The panel turned to the subject of the settlement that Meth negotiated with Marvel for Cockrum. “Without the money,” Meth asserted, Cockrum “wouldn’t get out of the hospital.” However, Cockrum was “happy” with the settlement he finally received, and was “absolutely thrilled” that on of his artistic heroes, “Will Eisner contributed” to the benefit tribute book. “He was always a fan. He created things he wanted to look at.”

Claremont stated that Cockrum had “a tremendous work ethic. When you ask for a character to be designed now, and to an extent then,” he continued, you will “get a sketch, maybe two sketches.” But there is no time to do more, “you take what you can get,” because the “book’s got to go to press.” In contrast, Claremont told the audience, “When Dave and I say down and decided we were going to redesign Phoenix”–by which Claremont probably meant devising the Phoenix identity and costume for X-Men cast member Jean Grey– “he did 50 designs”: there were “a couple of dozen specific visualizations,” and the rest were variations on those. Claremont praised Cockrum for “a wealth of creativity, a wealth of commitment, a wealth of craft.”

Claremont worked with Cockrum on X-Men in the initial years of its revival in the 1970s, then John Byrne came in as penciler and co-plotter, and Cockrum returned in the early 1980s after Byrne departed the series. Claremont declared that the “X-Men‘s success” lay in the fact that for the revival’s “first eight years” it was the “product of two men” (along with himself): Dave Cockrum and John Byrne. Claremont asserted that this was “a commitment of creativity that very few books, especially today, have.” Again, he told us that you “don’t realize how wonderful an experience” it is “until it’s not there.”

Cockrum left X-Men the second time to try his hand at writing and drawing his own creator-owned project, The Futurians. It’s “not a bad thing to try to make something that you own,” observed Louise Simonson. But The Futurians wasn’t as commercially successful as he might have hoped.

Claremont revealed that “one of the things that knocked me over as a reader, reading Legion of Super-Heroes, was the marriage of Duo Damsel and Bouncing Boy.” Claremont continued, “Way back then we were used to seeing the superheroes in costume or they wore an [everyday] suit. There was very rarely a sense of individuality” to what a character wore out of costume “that extended beyond being a superhero.” But for this 30th century wedding in Legion, “Dave designed the clothes for everybody and they were different.” In other words, each character’s clothes expressed his or her individual personality. “It wasn’t like they all went to the same futuristic tuxedo shop. They [the clothes] were consistent with character, culture and the future. And they were cool.”

Similarly, “In X-Men if Storm was going out to the opera, she wore a gown that was unique to an African in America.” Claremont didn’t mention this, but it was Cockrum who not only designed Wolverine’s highly distinctive unmasked face, but also his characteristic Western style of dressing when he is out of costume. “The costuming, the look of characters defined by. . .who they were as people,” Claremont said, was not only a “revolutionary. . .concept” but “It became an inspiration.” According to Claremont, Cockrum’s attitude was “I love the characters; let’s just have fun.”

Paul Levitz recalled that in the 1970s Cockrum and his friends “were frustrated with the comics industry of the time.” Returning to the subject of the Legion wedding, Levitz again established a context: “This was the last. . . year or two before original art began being returned to the artist.” The highlight of the wedding story was a “double-page spread.” Levitz said that “Dave put his heart and soul into this scene” and “must have done an army of sketches.” Cockrum even drew the scene on the larger sized pages that had been used in the 1960s so that he “could pour the detail in.” Moreover, Cockrum spent his own money on photostats in that pre-computer era, and “probably paid half his page rate”–which was low by today’s standards–“just to do the page right.” In exchange, Cockrum “thought he’d get to keep the page,” but, of course, the “company wouldn’t let him.” That was “one of the reasons he left Legion and went to Marvel to do X-Men.” That was “right at the cusp moment,” Levitz commented, when there was a sense “boiling up in the community” that artists had a right to get their original art back. And indeed Cockrum did finally get that double-page spread back years later.

Rubinstein reminisced about inking Cockrum’s second run of X-Men and his Nightcrawler miniseries in the 1980s. “Dave wasn’t a penciler or writer,” Rubinstein asserted; “he was a comic book creator.” Nightcrawler was Cockrum’s personal favorite of the X-Men, and he turned him into an updated version of the swashbuckler heroes of another era. “Nightcrawler turned into Errol Flynn for a while,” remarked Rubinstein.

That reminded Claremont of another highlight of Cockrum’s career, “Kitty’s Fairy Tale” in Uncanny X-Men #153 (1982), in which the series’ familiar characters took on new guises, like Kitty Pryde as what Claremont called “a runaway pirate,” and Wolverine resembled Looney Tunes‘ Tasmanian Devil. Claremont described Cockrum’s work on the story thus: “Each page is “˜Can you top this?'”

Claremont continued, “With Dave there was a sense there was nothing you couldn’t ask for, and he’d make you plotz with delight.” For example, “You ask for a starship that’s fifty miles long, and he gives you one that’s made of a fish, and it works!” (This is a reference to the Acanti, the “˜space whales” introduced in Uncanny X-Men #156 in 1982.)

Claremont revealed that he felt obliged to get his script “up to that level,” to match Cockrum’s creative achievement, and then the following month “he’d top you again.” Claremont explained that “You want to be on his level,” as Cockrum kept “raising the bar.” Claremont then confessed that “It was so much fun that you didn’t notice” how special this collaboration was “until it was gone.” and Cockrum had left the series. Then, Claremont said, “There’s this hole in your page.”

But then why is it that a man of such great talent as Dave Cockrum had trouble getting work in the comics industry after the 1980s, and fell into obscurity in the current comics marketplace?

“All of us see it, particularly these days” Louise Simonson said carefully, presumably referring to veteran comics professionals of the 1970s and 1980s like Cockrum and herself. She explained, “Editorial people have forces that drive them,” one of which is “market forces.” Hence, “they’re looking for the bright new thing.” From their point of view, “Dave was an old, tarnished object, not a bright, shiny one,” and he “faded into obscurity.”

Clifford Meth noted that “for twelve years ” Cockrum “could only get work from small publishing companies.” (One of these was Claypool Comics, for which Cockrum drew Soulsearchers & Company for nearly three years, in what appears to have been his last regular assignment. Claypool editor Richard Howell was not asked to speak on the panel, but you can find his tribute to Cockrum on the inside back cover of Soulsearchers #82, its final issue, currently on sale. So for a time Soulsearchers was written by Peter David, drawn by Dave Cockrum, and had covers drawn by Amanda Conner, all acclaimed comics professionals, and yet it was still ignored by most of the comics industry and readership!)

Meth said that Cockrum would look for work by making phone calls to editors. One highly placed person at one of these companies “hurt” Cockrum by telling him, “Your work is just too stodgy.” Meth said that “He felt largely ignored at that point in his career.” He “would get work but not regular work.”

Louise Simonson noted that “Dave was also very slow.” He could do “zillions of sketches,” but when it came to doing “actual comics pages,” he was “not fast.”

But his creativity remained high. Meth said that one day Cockrum sent him “five redesigns” of Marvel’s character Quicksilver; he ended up “putting them on eBay.”

So why didn’t someone at a comics company realize how valuable it would be to have Cockrum regularly designing costumes and characters and starships and such for them? On the panel Louise Simonson suggested that Cockrum should have been doing character designs for animation, but Meth responded that Cockrum “was too sweet a guy to work in that environment,” implying it was dog-eat-dog.

Claremont again extolled Cockrum’s talents, stating that “as a writer toy could present anything” to Cockrum, “whether it was a castle in Scotland full of leprechauns”–this is actually a reference to the Banshee’s leprechaun-infested castle in Ireland in X-Men (first series) #102–“or an alien invasion, and he would do it. . .and find a way to make it work and make it better. That is rare in any era of the industry.”

Cockrum “made the characters” into the readers’ “friends,” Claremont said, “people the readers wanted to see every four weeks,” whose lives they relate to.

So, apparently, did Cockrum: Meth told the audience that when Cockrum saw the X-Men movie, “he cried” because he was so “happy to see his characters on film.”

Claremont recalled that when the “new” X-Men began, Jean Grey and other members of the original team left the series. But then Claremont and Cockrum brought her back for a guest appearance, and when Claremont saw how Cockrum drew her this time, he said “She’s hot! Why did we write her out of the book? Can we bring her back, please?” And thus, Claremont asserted, began the road that “led to Phoenix and Dark Phoenix.”

As for another character in the series, Meth told us that “Dave often commented that Nightcrawler was his alter ego.” And it seems it was Nightcrawler who prevailed in Meth’s negotiations with Marvel. The Marvel lawyers maintained that Nightcrawler had been created under a work-for-hire agreement. But then, Meth told us, he revealed that Cockrum had published the “exact” design he used for Nightcrawler in a fanzine before Giant-Size X-Men #1! Now wouldn’t you like to have seen the Marvel lawyers’ faces when they first heard that? In what Meth called the “unprecedented deal” that was worked out, Cockrum’s widow Paty will continue to receive royalties for Nightcrawler and other Cockrum co-creations for the rest of her life.

And there is still more work by Dave Cockrum still to be seen; Joe Rubinstein announced on the panel that he is inking an unpublished Futurians story that Cockrum did.

Towards the end of the panel, Chris Claremont delivered a thought-provoking eulogy to Cockrum. “You always keep thinking that there’s more time,” he told us, saying that he assumed he would work with Dave Cockrum again. “The reality is we are finite, as much as we like to imagine ourselves being like our characters, who are not.” Cockrum’s passing, he stated, was “a reminder to cherish people and talents while they exist,” and “not to be in a position of talking about what should have been but [what] was.” Dave Cockrum created “what may not be as large a body of work as others’,” Claremont declared, but it “will last and bring credit to him long after many of us have moved on.”

Concluding the panel, Paul Levitz commended the Hero Initiative, the organization that offers financial aid and medical care to veteran comics creators in need. Levitz then told the audience that there was “something else” that was within “your power” to do, and that was to help in what he called the “emotional protection of the old creators.” He told us that if you see any of them at a convention, you “don’t have to commission a sketch,” but you should at least “spend a minute with them, [and] tell them how much you like their work.” Levitz noted that many of the older creators worked in anonymity and “frankly didn’t know anyone gave a damn.” Hence, he continued, meeting their fans at conventions has provided “some of the best moments of their lives” and that “in most cases that’s more important than economic health.”

Then Levitz observed that “comics people generally not smart about their economic health” whereupon Claremont burst into loud laughter at the truth of this observation. (Why, it was as if they were talking about me!) Levitz joked that “I’m the last guy Hero Initiative has to worry about. I’ve gone over to the Dark Side.” But he made the point that comics fans should show their appreciation not just to the Golden and Silver Age pros, but also to younger comics writers and artists who, for whatever reason, are, in his words, “not the flavor of the month.” Though he did not say so, obviously Dave Cockrum would have been in that category.

As if to exemplify what Paul Levitz had said about the elders of the comics profession, shortly after the convention ended, Arnold Drake, the co-creator of Deadman and Doom Patrol, passed away. Drake was one of the people whom I had been scheduled to interview on the convention’s “Classic Age of Comics” panel. That assignment fell through, and now I would never have my chance to interview him.

SUNDAY, FEB. 25, 3 PM:

Following the Cockrum panel I made a last stop on the main convention floor, which has seemed pleasantly, relatively quiet on Sunday morning but was again jam packed in the afternoon. High overhead still floated the malevolent elder god Cthulhu in his guise as a balloon of Pikachu, draining America’s youth of their life energies and taste in cartoon art. Then, below him, I saw a horrifying sight: a small, child-size Pikachu standing on the floor beneath him (her?), posing for passers-by. To adapt W. B. Yeats’ celebrated line, what rough beast slouches towards the Javits Center to be born? It’s Pikachu, Jr., that’s who. It was time for me to escape, and spend the evening at home writing up convention reports for Publishers Weekly’s Comics Week.

And so ends my coverage of this year’s New York Comic-Con, but not my discussion of the issues raised by the Cockrum memorial panel. The way that significant creative artists fall victim to the changing tides of taste and fashion and the marketplace deserves further examination. The Dave Cockrum panel reminds me of another panel discussion I recently heard about another important comics artist of the mid-1970s who passed away in the month following the convention. This was Marshall Rogers, whom I mentioned last week, whose work ranged from Don McGregor’s Detectives, Inc. to Chris Claremont’s Daughters of the Dragon to his many collaborations with Steve Englehart, including Batman, Silver Surfer, Mister Miracle, and his alternative strips for the early independent comics publisher Eclipse, Captain Quick and a Foozle, Coyote, and Scorpio Rose.

In Comic Zone’s Internet radio tribute to Marshall Rogers, his contemporary, inker Terry Austin, talked about how when they were breaking into the comics business, certain unnamed people in authority at DC Comics would castigate both them and their work. According to these people in power. Marshall and Terry were doing their art all wrong. The Comic Zone interviewer sounds clearly astonished by this. How could anyone not recognize the talents of Marshall Rogers and Terry Austin?

That’s the fate of innovators. There is an Old Guard who rejects the new, perhaps because the Old Guard’s tastes are different, perhaps because they are overly set in their ways, perhaps their artistic vision is too limited to see the potential of the new work that is right before their eyes. Once the innovators have made their mark, the Old Guard’s attitude looks ridiculous.

And so, once Steve Englehart, Marshall Rogers and Terry Austin’s collaboration on Batman appeared in Detective Comics in the mid-1970s, discerning members of the comics readership hailed it as an instant classic. I should know; I was one of them. Their Batman work was so influential that it served as an inspiration for the Batman movie that producer Michael Uslan was developing for Warner Brothers.

But a decade later it was Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns that was considered the most influential treatment of Batman. As I pointed out last week, it took over a quarter of a century for DC Comics to reunite the Englehart, Rogers and Austin team for Batman: Dark Detective. Uslan briefly, loyally mentions the Englehart-Rogers Batman on the special edition DVD of the 1989 Batman movie, but otherwise the DVD’s special features ignore it.

Neither Rogers not Austin were as much in demand recently as they had been in the late 1970s and 1980s. Peter Gillis observes in his blog’s tribute to Rogers that “deserved the fame he got and didn’t deserve the waning of that fame.” (Look further down on Gillis’s blog, and you will find his moving tribute to Cockrum.) Yet both the original Englehart/Rogers/Austin Batman and the new Dark Detective remain great, and will surely be recognized as classics ten, twenty or fifty years hence.

There’s the period when a creator hasn’t yet become fashionable, then he has his time in the spotlight, which may seem as if it will be permanent, but then the fashions change, and he may fall from favor, even though the quality of his work may not have changed. This is what happened to Cockrum.

It happens to others as well. Lately I’ve been reading Walt Disney and Europe, written by Robert Allan, and published in 1999 by the Indiana University Press. I picked up a remaindered copy at the New York Is Book Country street fair some years back, and I’ve never seen a copy anywhere else. That’s too bad, because this is an excellent study of how Walt Disney and his artists were influenced by European art, literature and music in creating their animated films. This book is the obvious basis for much of the “Once upon a Time” Disney art exhibition that is currently in Montreal (see “Comics in Context” #161).

In this book Allan writes about Kay Nielsen, a Danish artist whom Disney appointed as art director for the “Night on Bald Mountain” and “Ave Maria” sequences in Fantasia (1940). (The only important film I saw at Lincoln Center’s 2005 festival of musical cartoons that I haven’t yet written about was Fantasia. Maybe someday!) According to Allan, “after the second world war Nielsen returned to Denmark, endeavoring to obtain work again as book illustrator or stage designer, but without success; his style was too rigidly locked into the precise art mould which had originally brought him fame. It was too soon for a revival of interest. He returned to California where he died destitute in 1957. His wife Ulla died a year later. Forty years later his original artwork was fetching tens of thousands of dollars at auction.” (Walt Disney and Europe p. 163).

Here’s the pattern again: Nielsen became famous for his work, but fashions changed, and his work did not change with it, and he died in poverty. But consider Allan’s brief line: “It was too soon for a revival of interest.” If art has enduring value, then the “revival of interest” will come. Art which lasts transcends fashion and becomes classic.

Nielsen and his wife were unlucky in that they did not live to see this happen to his work. Their fate reminds me of the famous case of Vincent Van Gogh, who was recognized as a brilliant artist during his lifetime by fellow artistic giants such as Monet and Toulouse-Lautrec. Even so, it is said that Van Gogh only sold one painting during his lifetime (and used the paintings to pay the rent or other bills).

Jack Kirby was lionized by comics fans in the 1960s, but in the 1970s, as I’ve said before, I’d hear comics pros refer to him as “Jack the Hack.” But his skill as an artist hadn’t changed, and luckily for him, the pendulum swung back quickly, and he was hailed by comics pros and fans alike as a living icon in the 1980s. Had Kirby lived twelve years longer he would have seen his artwork hang in museums as part of the “Masters of American Comics” exhibition.

Time is a determining factor of greatness. Work that conforms to the passing fashions of the day may achieve great popularity in its time, but unless it rises above fashion, it will be forgotten as the decades pass. Great work may fall from fashion for a time, but its lasting merits will be rediscovered by new generations. Great work speaks not just to its own time, but to all time, as I shall attempt to illustrate in next week’s column.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

I have just written a review of Fantagraphics’ collection The Comic Strip Art of Lyonel Feininger, a pioneering early 20th century cartoonist, for Publishers Weekly’s Comics Week. Ad you may be interested in seeing what my Comics Week editor says about “Comics in Context” over at the Beat.

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

Trailer Park: SPIDER-MAN 3’s International Appeal and Reveal

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 5:46 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

It’s like we can’t be trusted.

I was going to hold my tongue about all this until you made your way down below and beheld the sight of Venom and Co. swinging face first into your lives in the latest SPIDER-MAN 3 trailer. However, I just couldn’t shake the drifting thought about why Sony has sought fit to release this “International” trailer with oodles of the very thing you know every geek and his imaginary girlfriend who lives in Canada wants to see: Venom.

I make mention of it below in the column but, really, when you see this version of the trailer it seems like the whole storyline has shifted focus. It’s rare to see such a departure in what is accentuated and what is not, Uncle Ben’s murderer, The Sandman, barely even rates a mention in the international trailer whereas, in the domestic one, Ben’s killer is afforded the weight of the entire feature with nary a mention of that tough man in black.

Surely this isn’t a GODZILLA issue; the tease that everyone wants but are denied until opening day to behold the craptacular behemoth that would sink its way back into the ocean with nary a whimper. The studio has released not only the transformation of Topher Grace into the destructive black beast but you get a look at the moves he has in mid-air and even a vampire-like smile, jagged canines and all, that is really a sight to behold. It was enough for me to even pause the damn trailer and wonder at the top shelf make-up job they did to get Grace moved over from pretty boy to downright creepy.

And, really, the crux of the issue is that this version of the trailer isn’t Sony’s latest entry into what American kids are getting amped up to see as they watch their twenty or so minutes of Coming Attractions before their Spring features. You’ve got to be a nerd like me and actually visit a site that is based in the UK and only then can you see this thing. The international audiences are rolling into this version with a plethora of dangers that the American trailer barely scratched. For the record, and in fairness in reporting, neither trailer deals with how Gwen Stacy factors into the mix. She will in a great way but there isn’t anything to really go off of. However, the international trailer tosses in a heaping helping of the many directions that this film is going to but why is the average American, at this stage of the game, only being led to believe that this is a film that deals with a black suit that gives Spider-Man new powers, the struggle he is going to have with Harry and the fight he’s going to have with Sandman by film’s end? (My honest opinion is that Haden Church is going to serve a near perfunctory role if this film is going to be juggling no less than seven major plot points but he may not. Perhaps he and Venom are going to be a super bad tag team with Harry eventually siding with Peter in a battle royale the likes of which have never been seen before! Probably not.)

As well, the wrong answer of “Maybe the studio just wasn’t quite ready with the effects to be put into the domestic trailer prior to its release” isn’t even accurate if any geek worth his table salt saw the workprint of the trailer where Venom was actually excised from its final cut. Hell, even that may have been deliberate but it doesn’t change the fact that limeys and everyone else in the not-so-free world is getting a pimp looking trailer while we’re left with Sand city and a partial air battle between Harry and Peter.

Back in black never looked so damn good.

MAGICIANS (2007)

Director: Andrew O’Connor
Cast:
Robert Webb, David Mitchell, Juliet Stevenson, Peter Capaldi
Release: May 18, 2007 (UK…Damn Limeys)
Synopsis:
From the team behind the hit UK TV series Peep Show comes this high concept comedy film about a magic double act who fall out when one is involved in an accident with a guillotine. The story follows the rivalry between the magician’s years later as they enter a major magic competition.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. Loved it.

After enduring the debate of what was better, THE ILLUSIONIST or THE PRESTIGE (It was PRESTIGE, by the way, in case you really would like to know), I knew the world could handle just one more movie dealing in the black arts. Too bad for me, though, that I would have to jaunt over to merry old England in order to be able and see it.

It’s moments like this that I wish some money grubbing exec-u-tard would come up with a way to capitalize on global distribution of films; I’m available for such a position if anyone cares to create the position for me. At the moment, though, all I can do is appreciate the marketing campaign for this film that looks and feels like a splendid time at the talkies.

“In the world”¦”

I would usually turn tail as soon as these words are spoken as, come on, am I really to believe that some dime store magicians really have a lock on the global art of making coins disappear before my eyes? No, but I erred on the side on irony as we make our way through the entertaining lives of two guys who are supposed to be partners, which makes their getting along at the beginning all the more foreboding for what’s to come, only to howl when these men committed the truest rendering of The Marie Antoinette as they lopped off their female assistant’s melon”¦accidentally.

We simply blaze through the rest of the exposition, the only real gripe I have is that we whip at an unbelievable pace through it all, when we come to where the crux of the action will take place: a magic-off, as it were.

These guys suck and it’s their pathetic natures that make this film appear so appealing; if you were to do a movie starring Gob, the hapless magician of Arrested Development, it would be far and away a fun film if only because you have a guy who believes he’s great when, in fact, it’s only his tenuous grasp on this notion that keeps him from packing it all in. And you get that with this trailer. As one dude comes up with a trick to be buried up to his neck in sand, assistants who are quite unstable, having the occasional reminder that your partner was the one who pulled the rope that beheaded your previous assistant and an old fart that has a trick where he makes lit cigarettes disappear by extinguishing them using his tongue.

“Shot my wand?”

“Kiss my ass.”

Using Electric Six’s “Gay Bar” as the frenetic musical backdrop for what these two protagonists are going through as they battle one another for supremacy on a scale that only they would care about is pitch perfect. The world doesn’t care, but these guys have the kind of heart that can be amusing, like Gob desperately trying to make a coin trick work. The comment that one of them makes to a woman who agrees to be his assistant when she says that lighting can’t strike twice and counters with, “Well, technically, it can”¦”

This is the kind of film I’d like to see when those in the UK get a chance to do so as well.

IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS (2007)

Director: James Longley
Release: Coming Soon In Limited Release
Synopsis: Iraq in Fragments illuminates post-war Iraq in three acts, building a picture of a country pulled in different directions by religion and ethnicity. Filmed in verité style with no scripted narration, the film explores the lives of ordinary Iraqis to illustrate and give background to larger trends in Iraqi society.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. Before we delve into this trailer, do me a favor and just give a passing glance at this news story right here: http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2922669

I’ll wait.

Now, keeping in mind that our same armed forces are preventing the wholesale detailing of what’s going on over in Iraq, check to see how many newspaper bureaus in America are keeping representatives over there on a 24/7 schedule, along with the reports from fellow journalists over there about what free speech means to guys in APCs with machine guns, and you get a pretty good starting point about how much you think you know of what’s going on within the boundaries of that volatile nation.

“The future of Iraq will be in three pieces”¦”

Talk about having Kurt Russell take a chair and sit on your windpipe to get your attention (Any TANGO AND CASH fans in the house?), this trailer opens with chaos only to compose itself ever briefly where we get a real weathered looking man giving us his opinion about where his country is going from where it is today.

We linger just long enough to see the awards this film garnered from the Sundance Film Festival, to say nothing of its Academy Award nomination, providing an excellent pivot point to establish its credibility with an audience.

What makes this trailer at least “feel” different from all the other trailers that have dealt with this Godforsaken war, lest you believe God is genuinely helping us in this effort at which point I’ll pray for YOUR soul, is that we’re not given a lot of explosive action to latch onto. Instead, and this is almost as terrifying, the tense string arrangement that plays underneath men and children going about their daily lives, an Iraqi policeman directing traffic in the open (I’m on edge as I think a bomb is going to go off at any moment) and an unseen man looks like he’s talking about resisting the very same occupiers that are just there to do their jobs and get home to their families.

It’s riveting.

“The movie is a quiet revelation.”

Yes. That’s exactly the kind of vibe this movie puts out. We seem to be following a young boy around the streets of some city, some place, but we also get views of people cheering in the streets with their flags held high, there seems to be some kind of meeting which no doubt concerns their future in Iraq, some masked men start beating one of their own and, by the end, you have zero idea why you’ve been as captivated as you have been.

Not a shot gets fired, not one bomb goes off, not one voiceover tells me why I should go spend my money on this movie. The visuals stand alone and it’s within these non-narrated pictures that I am able to just concentrate that these Iraqis are all just people, trying to do a job and make it home to their families.

DISTURBIA (2007)

Director: D.J. Caruso
Cast:
Shia LaBeouf, David Morse, Sarah Roemer, Carrie-Anne Moss
Release: April 13, 2007
Synopsis: After his father’s death, Kale (Shia LaBeouf) becomes sullen, withdrawn, and troubled – so much so that he finds himself under a court-ordered sentence of house arrest. His mother, Julie (Carrie-Anne Moss), works night and day to support herself and her son, only to be met with indifference and lethargy. The walls of his house begin to close in on Kale. He becomes a voyeur as his interests turn outside the windows of his suburban home towards those of his neighbors, one of which Kale begins to suspect is a serial killer. But, are his suspicions merely the product of cabin fever and his overactive imagination?

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. I know I’ve made much of my “respek knuckles” admiration for Even Stevens.

This happy-happy feeling carries over to this trailer as I see that Shia Labeouf is not only making excellent strides to wiggle free of his child star image but with a movie like this you can’t help but at least feel that he’s at least not going to be seen at the local Midas dealership, installing mufflers singing, “Truuust the Miiidas touch.”

That said, however, I can go on and on about how many movies this flick is cribbing from in one way or another. From AMERICAN BEAUTY, GIRL NEXT DOOR, FRIGHT NIGHT, MEN AT WORK and REAR WINDOW there seems be a menudo soup-like dropping of all these things to make a full-length movie. I’m not so sure it works.

From the outset we get the clue that Shia did something to be placed on house arrest; it’s a pretty nice arrest, as well, because the suburban street he lives on seems awfully detached from any other suburban street I’ve ever lived on. This, I take it, is the point to making the absurd come to life, we’re in the land of make-believe.

“All Kale has is the window”¦”

So, Shia, pimpin’ out his ankle bracelet with a totally rad stickers, a skull and flames (Oooh!), decides to entertain himself by lecherously peeping into the lives of his neighbors. By the way, want to know when you’re living in the land of Not Real? You have a svelte honey sunbathing next door and another thin cutie who takes off her clothes in from of open windows. The closest thing I’ve come to that is a view into a house where my Midwest neighbors, who I think didn’t believe in the notion of moderation and exercise, motored down heaps of food every night. I didn’t even want there to be an open window anywhere near my field of vision.

But, Shia hit the lottery with all the cheatin’ and whorin’ on his block, and when he gets spied on by someone he was trying to watch the girl obviously sees no problem with coming on over, by herself, and taking part in the life of a human viewfinder. And, yeah, she’s good looking too.

So, fast forward through all this crap that the girl actually strikes up a relationship with this pervert, again, why couldn’t I have lived on this block, and we come up to a murder. See, when you’re a voyeur you are bound to look upon something that is usually reserved for dark rooms in basements and kill zones that comprise of crawl spaces in the attic. No, this shit goes down for the whole block to see in rather bright fluorescent lighting.

We then speed things up by Shia playing the part of Chicken Little, no one believing him (Oh noes!) about what he’s spied with his eyes, and motor right into everyone becoming a potential next victim for this guy who then takes out Shia’s buddy and lady friend.

Not even the quick clips at the end can make up for what appears to be a very crap story. I can’t even swallow the premise, much less wrap my head around what I am supposed to believe happens when a serial killer lives across the street and no one believes a witness who’s seen everything go down.

SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)

Director: Sam Raimi
Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dylan Baker, Elizabeth Banks
Release: May 4, 2007
Synopsis: A lot of shi# goes down and that’s all you really need to know. Maybe we’ll even find out what happens to all that black and white webbing that’s stuck to the sides of buildings.
View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. This is an interesting case study of how domestic and international audiences are treated differently. It’s a wonder why this business is so bass ackwards and seeing this just makes one wonder why we’re not given the goods that every other market around the world where English isn’t even the primary language. It’s not about xenophobia, it’s about geeky jollies and our domestic denial of it from the studio.

The opening sequence is extended here where we’re actually allowed to linger a bit and get emotionally attached to Mary Jane and Peter; yeah it’s fake but, I’ll tell you what, that few moments between this pair makes all the difference. The love between these two is wonderfully established and it serves Gwen Stacy’s presence as a real threat later on. The domestic trailer simply glosses over all this pivotal pairing.

Um yeah, and when Peter confides in Aunt May that he’s going to ask Mary Jane to marry him we get a deeper sense of context for the ring that she gives him and he later loses in the air battle between him and Harry. The American trailer just shows us the ring wistfully as if were any other piece of jewelry. It’s not a coincidence that the moment we see the ring now it has more weight. Double kudos for the scene, silence, scene, silence editing for the moments of action between the two of them. Quite effective.

And the air battle! Those little green orbs that are to kill Peter and his quick comedic quip? In seconds we’re in the thick of what’s at stake for both of these men. Domestic trailer? Had all the power of a squirrel fart.

The symbiote’s liquid take-over of Spider-Man’s suit is much better represented here, certainly is a lot more fun watch as it makes its way all over his body, as even the moments where Peter questions its origins, with Dr. Connors’ summation of the black goo, that it amplifies aggression and that it likes Peter, is shockingly sharp and informative and puts to shame the trailer that I thought was the Alpha Beta of trailers just months ago.

The moment where the trailer REALLY kicks up to an 11 is where Peter stares into a mirror only to be met with the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it sinister visage of a howling Venom. It’s angry, it’s vicious and only gets better when he finally tries to get rid of the thing on his body. As Topher Grace not only realizes that Parker is the dark colored Spidey and a drip of Vengance Personified starts to engulf our real favorite actor to come out of That 70’s Show it is the full-blown display of Venom’s rage that gets my Godzilla bucking vote of Best Reveal for 2007. It’s phenomenally evocative and much better than the Sandman storyline in the domestic trailer that now feels awfully secondary to this threat. Oh, and Topher’s “Hey, Parker” as he briefly reveals his humanity, his vampire-colored eyes and teeth, body builder physique and all? Just sweet icing.

There’s more at stake here and even MJ’s admission about what it’s going to take to keep them together as a couple just humanizes this comic book movie even further. It’s the grounding of the most far-flung characters that has ever been stuffed into one picture (you got Sandman, Harry’s Goblin incarnation, Peter’s struggle with the black suit AND Venom) that should make this movie the one sequel to SPIDER-MAN 2 that could actually surpass the legend of the previous entries.

As to why this isn’t the trailer that we Americans are getting in order to get ready for what’s coming and why, as a studio, you would hold back on what you’re giving the domestic market is beyond my ken. I’m damn near insulted at what we were given weeks ago compared to this.

Regardless, THIS is the trailer that’s getting me in the mood to revisit my 5 year-old inner child.

QSE News: 4/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 5:07 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgFirstly today, the classic game show The Price Is Right will soon have a different host for the first time in 35 years.  Insiders claim that the producers have narrowed their choice of host down to five people, including George Hamilton, Mario Lopez and Mark Steins.  Current host Bob Barker has announced his retirement from the program and is expected to tape his final show in June, at which point he “won’t give a flying [EXPLETIVE DELETED] whether or not you spay or neuter your animals.”
  • Actor George Clooney reportedly paid a local Tobaccoville, North Carolina girl $20 for a glass of lemonade from a make-shift stand. When asked about the star’s generosity, the little girl was overhead saying “A lousy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] $20? That’s all Mr. Big Shot movie actor could afford? I’m really glad now that I pissed in that pitcher.”
  • Michael Jackson is reportedly taking legal action to stop a proposed auction of Jackson family memorabilia.  The auction, which is set to take place next month in Las Vegas, is listing 1,100 items from the family including the gold record from Thriller and a hand written lyric sheet to the Jackson 5’s hit song “ABC.”  Jackson is most upset about several personal items that are to be in the auction, including his expansive collection of Under-roos, several bottles of candy flavored wine and his original nose.
  • In a recent poll by SFX Magazine, 3000 voters picked the film Serenity as the best sci-fi film of all time, beating out the juggernaut film Star Wars.  Fans of the Star Wars movie are crying foul about the poll, though, saying that it was unfair of the magazine to have people rank the films after a screening of The Phantom Menace.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/6/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:37 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Our own Widgett Walls makes quite a fascinating point about the state of comic book cover-dom… (Thingamabob)
  • How ’bout a little bit from The Dana Carvey Show? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 5, 2007

Music For The Masses: 4/5/07

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 3:42 am
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Howdy, friends! It’s me, M.C. Did you miss me? I sure missed all of you. In fact, I was missing you more than Lance Armstrong misses his left nut. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but I did miss you and unlike Lance’s nut and more like a raging case of “hooker herpes,” I came back. “Back from what,” you ask? Why, back from a spring break filled with wild, exotic adventures and super hot babes”¦ assuming, of course, you substitute the terms “wild, exotic adventures” with “skiing” and “super hot babes” with “a Vaseline®-coated oven mit.” At any rate, I’m here and I’m dying to serve up another helping of Music for the Masses. This week, I check out the upcoming release from indie-fave and, because he knows Jenny Lewis, luckiest bastard alive, Bright Eyes and Double A falls in and out of love with the new one from Timbaland. Plus, R. Lee Ermey answers reader questions!! Sound like fun? Well, what do you say we find out?

bright 4-5-07

Bright Eyes

Album: Cassadaga

Sounds like: That one dream you had where Jeff Tweedy was giving Neil Young a hand job in the dirty rest room of an Arby’s while Emerson, Lake and Palmer played softly in the background. Oh, come on now”¦don’t act like you don’t remember THAT dream.

Question for you”¦any of you ever been to Nebraska? I mean, on purpose and not just on a dare or because the ONLY chick that would take you into her mouth went to school there? No? Well, don’t feel bad”¦I try to avoid that Godforsaken place and I live right next to the mother fucker. But hey, from what I hear, Nebraska is a rockin’, kick ass kind of place. *COUGH*

For instance, did you know that Nebraska is the birthplace of Kool-Aid® and it’s chief exports are natural gas, guys named “Chet,” soybeans, religious intolerance, “fear of change” and “Corno?”

corno 4-5-07

Yeah, baby”¦ ride that thing ’til it pops”¦

How about that the state flower is the Goldenrod and that the state motto is “Somebody Had To Eat It, Might As Well Have Been Dave?” No? Ever see a picture of Miss Nebraska?

m4m-model

Well, now you have.

Did you know that it’s against the law to sneeze, burp or fart in a Nebraska church? I shit you not. How about that they offer you the chance to have “The Beef State” emblazoned upon your “ILIKCOK” personalized license plate? Come on, now”¦I’m sure you’ve heard of their vaunted college football team, the Butt”¦ I mean, Corn Huskers?

husker 4-5-07

You hike it to me and I’ll take it deep to your tight end”¦

Okay”¦ how about the fact that Nebraska is the 16th largest state (in terms of square mileage) and has a population of 1,711,263 (as of 2000) with 1,711,261 of those people being certifiably “retarded” (the other 2 were just passing through the state at the time of the census on their way to Dubuque, IA). Seriously. According to Wikipedia, the governor of the fucking state is Corky from “Life Goes On”¦”

mayor 4-5-07

“I pledge to make Snak-Pak’s® the State Food!! YAY!!”

And you all know that Wikipedia is NEVER wrong. But, perhaps the most important thing about Nebraska is that it is the birthplace of Connor Oberst, or, as you may know him, lead singer and “creative force extraordinaire” behind the band Bright Eyes.

connor 4-5-07

Do not adjust your set”¦ he really is built like a “bobble-head” doll.

Now, contrary to the implication in the name, Bright Eyes is actually a band that consists, primarily, of Mr. Oberst on guitar, multi-instrumentalist/huge-cocked, uber-stud Mike Mogis and trumpet player Nate Walcot. Throw in some other artists/occasional sheep fuckers from the local, Omaha music scene (Jake Bellows on guitar, Anton Patzner on bass, Rachel Blumberg on drums and Kelsey Guerra on piano) to round things out and you have the Bright Eyes line-up that has brought you the seventh kick ass new studio disc, Cassadaga. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the title of the disc refers to a community of “mediums” in Florida. Thought you’d like to know.

medium 4-5-07

I can foresee your character “unearthing” a very large bone”¦

Now, for you fans keeping score at home, this album isn’t much of a departure from Bright Eye’s previous catalog and is right in line with his I’m Wide Awake/It’s Morning disc. A little “folksy,” a little “bluesy,” a little “rock-y” and a whole lotta good. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fucking fix it. Know what I’m saying? Can you smell what I’m cooking? Of course, one thing I would have changed is Mr. Oberst’s, or as I like to call him, “Sparkle Tits,” penchant for starting off each disc with several minutes of random shit before actually getting to the music. Yeah”¦you can knock that shit off anytime now. Seriously, dude… I didn’t stea… I mean pick up this disc to hear some bullshit, transcendent artistic statement through interpretive noise. On the contrary, I picked it up to coax the co-ed living next to me with the dyed black hair, horned-rimmed glasses and blue and white stripped t-shirt to let me wear her like a feedbag.

The first “single,” if you can call it that because Sparkle Tits doesn’t release singles-he just makes songs “available to listen to,” “Four Winds,” with it’s blistering, anti-religious lyrics and simple melodies, proves out as one of the strongest tracks on the album. In fact, this is really all you need to gauge whether or not this disc is for you as the rest of the tracks follow suit. Long story short, if you dig that song, you’ll love this album more than Brad Delp loved to barbeque in the bathroom. If you hear the song and are instantly reminded of that obnoxious Poetry major that hung out at the coffee shop attracting all the chicks with his “emotion” and “wordiness” then. well, Linkin Park has a new one coming out soon so you better start saving up.

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Is it me or does he kinda look like K.D. Lang?

Overall, this is a tight piece of work from when of the best songwriters working today and if you give it a chance, I’m confident you’ll dig it. However, if you want more proof, bop on over to www.myspace.com/brighteyes and check some of the tracks out for yourself. Personally, I really like the moody “No One Would Riot For Less” with the hot-sounding back up singers. They make my naughty bits tingle. In fact, they’re tingling so much, I’m going to go now and have lusty sex with my new, mail order, Nebraska bride”¦

blowup 4-5-07

hung4-m4m

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shock 4-5-07

Oh Timbaland, I hardly knew ye. I’m serious, I really don’t know what you’ve done in the past. I vaguely remember the stuff that you did a long time ago with the blind, cartoon curmudgeon Mr. Magoo, and I know you make a decent pair of boots. Wait, what? Timbaland worked with the rapper Magoo, not the cartoon character? Oh and it’s TimbeRland that makes the boots? My bad. Just about the only thing that I really know about Timbaland is that he’s one of the hottest producer around and that his new album, this here Shock Value, has been one of the most anticipated hip-hopish albums of this young year. So I decided that I would check into the hype of it all and see what the big deal was. Apparently the big deal is an assload of guest stars, and really not much else.

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Just about everyone who’s big in music today was brought onto this album to help flesh out the tracks. Justin Timberlake? Check. Fall Out Boy? Yup, they’re there. Elton John? That’s a big 10-4, sailor. But while some of the guests really help the songs, like the track “Time” featuring She Wants Revenge, a lot of the guests seem to hurt the potential of the song. The beats and the flow of the album is decent, and when Timbaland cuts lose, the songs are really entertaining. Unfortunately, right about the time he does cut lose is when the “guest” steps in to give the song a little push. That’s where things go wrong. The emphasis on this album seems to be about making a great dance album, and if that’s what you’re into, then you’ll probably love this album. For me though, not so much.

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From what I’ve heard, Timbaland is damn good at what he does, and that is putting out music that people will buy. I’m sure that people will really dig this album, but I really wanted more of a straight up rap album. I didn’t get that. Now I’m a bit upset that I did get the album. Maybe I’ll sell it to a high school girl by telling her it’s got Justin Timberlake all over it. I just need to make sure it really is a girl and not Chris Mathews from “To Catch A Predator” again. I’m really starting to hate that guy.

flava2 4-5-07

10 QUESTIONS WITH”¦ R. LEE ERMEY

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You know, I have received a lot of pressure to do some interviews here at the site and, well, I gotta admit, I have DEFINITELY been entertaining the notion. Honestly, though? The thought of doing one makes me more nervous than a straight guy at a Scissor Sisters concert. I mean, what if I fuck something up or, even worse, ask some stupid, fucking questions? That would totally “Sanjaya””¦ by which I mean, “suck.” Fortunately, I have you, dear readers, and your never-ending stream of questions. So, what the fuck”¦ I’ll let you ask the questions and I’m going to let actor R. Lee Ermey give you the answers. Enjoy!

DarthBallSack24: One of my favorite bands is Bowling for Soup because they are from Texas and I am from Texas. Do you like Bowling for Soup? Do you like Pantera? If not, what band do you like?

R.L.E.: Holy dog shit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don’t look much like a steer to me, so that about narrows it down. Do you suck dicks? Are you a peter puffer?

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Bobloblaw32: Hey, R. Lee”¦I’m going to be married soon and I was wondering if you had any advice for what song we should play for the father/daughter dance?

R.L.E.: Your days of finger bangin’ Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pretty pink panties are OVER!!!

LarrysLongCableGuy: R. Lee yo. R U In 2 Fall Out Boi?

R.L.E.: Did your parents have any kids that lived? Boy I bet they regret that. You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. What’s your name, scumbag? Lawrence? Lawrence of Arabia? That name sounds like royalty. You royalty? You suck dicks? I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! I don’t like the name Lawrence. Only F*****s and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on your name’s Private Pyle!

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Mr_Nice_Gaius: Hey there, Mr. Ermey. Do you like R & B? I’ve always been partial to the smooth sounds of Macy Gray, myself.

R.L.E.: What’s your name, scumbag? From now on your name’s Private snowball. You like that name? Well, here’s one more thing you’ll like, Private Snowball. They don’t serve watermelon and fried chicken on a daily basis in my mess hall.

HalfVader03: Who would win in a fight between Clone Troopers, Star Fleet Academy or the Cylons?

R.L.E.: God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!

BendersShinyAss: My dad says that Led Zeppelin is the best band ever but I think it’s Fall Out Boy. Which one of us is right?

R.L.E.: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?

yell 4-5-07

1PwN3DJ00: Dear Mr. Lee Ermey. Is it right to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves? I mean I know this guy and he smells because his family can’t afford to pay the water bill. So I call him “Stinky Mike.” Seriously, he smells like poop. So anyway, is that cool, or should I stop?

R.L.E.: I bet you’re the kinda of guy to fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around!

rifle 4-5-07

“This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life.”

LeryJenkins2: Heya R. Lee, I’ve been thinking about converting to Buddhism. I’ve never really been into the whole Christian thing and I think those Buddhists have some really good ideas about life. What do you think?

R.L.E.: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I’m gonna stomp your guts out!

BillWestin76: Hey Mr. Ermey, I saw you in that movie. You know, the one where you played the gay guy. I thought that took a lot of guts.

R.L.E.: I’m gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin’ seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin’ grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!

ICutMyself: Dear Mr. Ermey. I cut myself. It’s the only way that I can let the darkness out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel good besides the new album from Fall Out Boy. I know it’s wrong, but I cant stop. What should I do?

worth 4-5-07

R.L.E: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?

Real M.C.: Well, thanks for your time Mr. Ermey. Talk to you soon!

R.L.E.: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

UPCOMING RELEASES… 4/10/07

ARTIST

TITLE

GENRE

BLONDE REDHEAD 23 ALT
EXIES, THE A MODERN WAY OF LIVING WITH TH ALT
KARNIVOOL THEMATA ALT
LOVE OF DIAGRAMS MOSAIC ALT
SHEARWATER PALO SANTO (EXPANDED EDITION) ALT
WITCH S HAT MASTERY OF THE STEEL ALT
33MILES 33MILES N/A
HELLYEAH HELLYEAH N/A
NATHAN KEY PRINCIPLES N/A
PATTY, SANDI FALLING FORWARD N/A
SEPTEMBER CRY FOR YOU N/A
WONDER PETS WONDER PETS N/A
WOW WOW WORSHIP (BLUE) N/A
YOUNGS, JENNY OWEN BATTEN THE HATCHES N/A
CLIENT HEARTLAND POP
MIG Mig POP
VEIRS, LAURA SALTBREAKERS POP
KONU CoCo Shack RAP
MAD DOG The Next Chapter RAP
BROTHER ALI THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH RAP
CAP D RETURN OF THE RENEGADE RAP
A WEATHER FEATHER TEST ROCK
ARMY OF ME CITIZEN ROCK
BLESSTHEFALL HIS LAST WALK ROCK
BOOK OF KNOTS, THE TRAINEATER ROCK
BRIGHT EYES CASSADAGA ROCK
CLOUD CULT THE MEANING OF 8 ROCK
COCOROSIE THE ADVENTURES OF GHOSTHORSE A ROCK
GOLDRUSH THE HEART IS THE PLACE ROCK
GRINDERMAN GRINDERMAN ROCK
GUSTER Satellite Ep ROCK
LIMBECK LIMBECK ROCK
MORLIX, GURF DIAMONDS TO DUST ROCK
MYSTERY JETS DIAMONDS IN THE DARK ROCK
NEKROMANTIX LIFE IS A GRAVE AND I DIG IT ROCK
NEW ATLANTIC THE STREETS, THE SOUNDS, AND T ROCK
PANTHERS THE TRICK ROCK
POEM ROCKET INVASION! ROCK
RHYS, GRUFF CANDYLION ROCK
ROSEBUDS, THE NIGHT OF THE FURIES ROCK
WIESE, JOHN SOFT PUNK ROCK
XBXRX WARS ROCK
BENJAMINS, The Chronicles Of The Garden State POP
HACRIDE Amoeba POP
KOLDBORN The Uncanny Valley POP
MORS PRINCIPIUM EST Liberation = Termination POP
PRETTY THINGS, The The Pretty Things POP
RHODES, Lou Beloved One POP
SNEAKY PETE Anthology POP
SPIDEY No One Since Carol POP
VAN MORRISON Blowin’ Your Mind POP

Well… there you have it folks. Until next week… keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!

Send your blow-up fuck sheep, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

biker 4-5-07

E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Grindhouse

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:51 am

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Grindhouse poster

Movie buffs often lose sight of this, but most people don’t know what’s going on in the cinema at any given moment. The public may be aware of a big, well-publicized film that everyone knows about, and they may have a vague notion of “that new movie with what’s his name in it,” but for them films are consumer items, used then disposed of.

This was brought home to me after seeing a screening of Grindhouse on Tuesday night and then running into someone and telling them excitedly that I just came from the film, only to have my auditor say, “What film is that?” They’d never heard of it. They weren’t aware, in fact, of any of the films opening the following Friday, nor of those that had opened in the previous weeks. The last movie this person had heard of opened last summer.

This incident rang an alarm bell. Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and the Weinstein Company are betting that there is a form of waking nostalgia for an era and type of filmmaking that is otherwise viewed as maudit by arbiters of official culture. I wonder, however, how big the market is for such a film beyond the sort of cultists who crowd into auditoria at the ComicCon. The filmmakers haven’t help their cause by calling the resultant work, a faux double bill with trailers for non-existant (yet) films and various teasers, Grindhouse, which is misleading. Eddie Muller’s book on the subject makes it clear that the term refers to theaters specializing in softcore exploitation erotica and taboo topics. The film might have been more accurately called Drive-In, except that perhaps that title might too closely evoke the film’s unlikely inspiration, Stanley Donen’s Movie Movie.

What will get lost in all the ballyhoo about the correctness of the term’s use, the length of the two movies together (after cuts, the film comes to about three hours and 10 minutes) as a marketing impediment, the level of its financial success, and whether or not Tarantino’s film represents a aesthetically regressive move is the actual nature of Tarantino’s achievement. What he has done is replicate in feel, look, and tone an actual drive in movie from the 1970s such as Swinging Cheerleaders. But the level of the mimicry doesn’t end just in its overexposed shots or the chick banter. Tarantino has gone on to conceive of a plot that is just as odd as some of the better more experimental ’70s drive in films. I’m thinking of films such as the explicitly acknowledged Vanishing Point as well as Two-Lane Blacktop, very odd narratives (and on a side note does anyone doubt that the reticent friendship between the two men in Two-Lane is echoed decades later in the equally if differently marvelous Way of the Gun?).

Grindhouse fire

More about Death Proof in a moment. First there is Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez’s homage to Italian zombie movies and John Carpenter. This is a fine film, typical of some of Rodriguez’s earlier films such as The Faculty, which is multi-character driven suspense tales set at a rapid pace. Rodriguez does this sort of thing well, and though the film has funny parts it is not a parody or a satire on the genre, it is basically a straight zombie film. One feels like a curmudgeon for complaining that perhaps the film is set slightly below room temperature, that it could have enjoyed more sparkle and pizzazz. Planet Terror was mostly of interest to me because of Rose McGowan, whose remarkable face compels attention even when she isn’t the focus of the frame.

Grindhouse Rose

The fake trailers are also fun. Machete practically tells a whole story (one that sounds, oddly enough, a lot like Shooter). Werewolf Women of the SS looks exciting but there is a certain lack of clarity in the trailer. Don’t is funny, but only Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving really replicates a bad trailer for a bad movie, even down to the overuse of footage from just one or two scenes random scenes. The serial killer’s costume is subtly hilarious.

Grindhouse Kurt

Death Proof is probably going to strike most unsympathetic viewers as too talky and weird. The movie appears split in half, chronically two separate attacks by a car-wielding serial killer. But in fact it is using a variation on the Psycho effect. The real story is the second half; the first half is distracted by following a small group of really offensive people on a wild goose chase.

Grindhouse Ferlitas

That’s the other thing that unsympathetic viewers might find objectionable, that the group of three girls in the first half are mostly unpleasant. Sydney Tamiia Poitier as a careerist DJ is an unpleasant, self-absorbed, bossy “mean girl,” while Jordan Ladd’s character is a non-entity, a personality free follower. Only Vanessa Ferlito, set up as the “final girl,” has allure.

Grindhouse legs

It’s not that Tarantino gets these people wrong. On the contrary, he develops a whole world around them in just some 20 minutes. Their later interactions with and comments about Rose McGowan’s Pam, and vice versa, says a lot about the high school culture they all emerged from. But then the movie makes an abrupt plot turn; like the characters in Crash, the film’s serial killer has a thing for car wrecks. And then we have to compose ourselves and learn the dynamics of a whole new quartet of women.

But notice how different they are. As my colleague Kim Morgan has pointed out, Tarantino has laid out really precise differences between the two groups of women. In a sense, because of their hedonism and haughtiness, the first group deserved to die. Whereas the first group of girls were all about fucking hypergamously, to advance their careers or to get high or to sate their hedonism, the second group are professionals (two stunt women, a make up girl, and an actress) but mostly on a humbler tier, and their on set romances are realistic and comic (the actress’s boyfriend, a Rock lookalike, likes to watch her pee). These are nicer, more engaging women, and we don’t want to see them die.

Grindhouse Zoe

The point of the narrative thread is to get stunt woman Zoe in a death match with serial killer Stunt Man Mike. And it is one terrific car chase sequence. One of the best I’ve ever seen anyway. There are camera angles used here that you haven’t seen in a “car” scene since, say, Blowup, which, unpredictably, sets the gold standard on how to shoot a car in motion. Part of its power is that the car chase sequence is clearly mostly real and you admire its “redemption of physical reality.” This sequence is the “payoff” to average viewers for “enduring” all the talk. If Death Proof were a Roger Corman film, the rest of the movie would be window dressing built around this chase scene.

Grindhouse cars

But also note just how weird are all the things that have happened in this film, the strange way characters are introduced, the long seemingly pointless sequences. Note how close it is to a movie like Swinging Cheerleaders, and yet so far from it. When drive in movies were odd, it was because they were made in a hurry, or had budgetary problems, or because they were made by incompetent people, but occasionally it was because an occasional filmmaker, like a Larry Cohen, was using the relative

It should also be pointed out, because people might not notice this facet too amid all the hubbub, that Tarantino pulls a Soderbergh and acts as his own DP. This makes the framing and color tones of the shots doubly interesting. I doubt if he is going to be interview by American Cinematographer over this, so I’m guess that it is because he was having a hard time, or anticipated having a hard time explaining to a photographer just what he wanted in his film. You will also notice that the look of the film changes subtly between its first and second halves, the second part being more intentionally “polished,” another clue that the second group of girls is privileged by the filmmaker as worthy of life. In one shot, a Woody Allen Hannah and her Sisters shot set in a diner, you can see Stunt Man Mike in the background, at the counter eating something, but otherwise his presence is not indicated.

Grindhouse deleted

We’re probably going to get four DVDs out of this movie. A quick and dirty release this fall, with just one extra, a video interview with RR and Tarantino (and have you noticed how absent Rodriguez is from the publicity build up?), followed by a two disc special edition, and then each film sold on its own, perhaps with even more different extras, and with luck the full lapdance scene (there are two shots from the sequence in the second trailer). I welcome them all.

QSE News: 4/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:48 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgComic book writer Grant Morrison has been hired to write a film adaptation of the hit video game Area 51. Morrison says the plot will delve into the mysteries surrounding the top secret military installation and include several types of alien beings.  According to insiders, the aliens will have a classic yet eerie look to them, and will be based on actress Hilary Swank.
  • Actor Adam Sandler is set to star in a new Disney film called Bedtime Stories.  The film, about a man whose life gets weird when bedtime stories become real, is set to begin production this fall.  In related news, actor Rob Schnieder will finally get another job.
  • Halle Berry has received her own star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Berry became the 2,333rd celebrity to receive a star along the world famous walk way. Berry was scheduled to receive the star years ago but everyone felt that it was in the star’s best interest to wait until everyone forgot that she was in Catwoman, Swordfish, Bullworth, B*A*P*S, The Flinstones, Boomerang
  • Country singer Billy Joe Shaver is wanted by Texas police for allegedly shooting a man in a parking lot. We at QSE are glad to finally see country stars taking it to the next level and proving that even though they are rich white people from the south, they can still start some shit.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

##

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/5/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:41 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • There’s nothing like a “Little Swee’pea” to make the week go by in a flash… (Thingamabob)
  • BBC America inserts their head head up their own ass and manage to import all the wrong “best of British television” they can get their hands on. If they knew what they were doing, it would be less Hollyoaks and Lead Balloon (sorry, Jack – love ya, but it was a shit version of Curb Your Enthusiasm) and more shows like QI, Black Books, Ideal, and such… But they’re not smart. (Thingamabob)
  • How do you even try to find out you can do this? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

April 4, 2007

Party Favors: Grinding The Night Away

Filed under: Columns,Joe Corey's Party Favors — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:30 am
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TRIBECA – A movie that lists me as the Associate Producer is making the festival rounds. On April 14, Moving Midway will be playing the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, N.C.

I beg you fine citizens of Durham to not throw flowers at the screen when my name appears in the credits. It is hard to resist wanting to launch a bouquet of roses during such a beautiful moment. But I don’t want to make the rest of the filmmakers jealous at the love being shown just to me. Although polite applause is appreciated.

The other highlights of Full Frame should include D.A. Pennebaker showing Bob Dylan: 65: Revisited, Gonzo: The Life and Death of Hunter S. Thompson and the return of Martin Scorsese. Nothing tops the chance to chat with Albert Maysles. He has a few stories to share about Gimme Shelter. How close can you get to Hell’s Angel with a pool cue? Did Keith have his original blood that tour? Weren’t the Stones a better live act with Mick Taylor on guitar?

If you’re not in Durham and want to experience my name on the screen, pick up Shortbus. My name is listed with the Shortbusriders. I didn’t have anything to do with the production. Nor have I had any contact with director (and fellow army brat) John Cameron Mitchell.  This tribute to myself came from visiting the website. Don’t think you can spot me in the orgy room. That’s just an internet rumor. While there are no true small roles in films, if they aren’t shot in Cinemascope, my blossoming talent won’t fit. And in the privacy of your living room, feel free to throw flowers at my name.

WHERE’S PART 2?

Grindhouse is upon us. After all the hype and hysteria and dark tales from the ratings board, we’ll finally get to see what happens when Rodriguez and Tarantino team up for the fourth time.

But the troubling aspect of this project is that there’s no Grindhouse 2 in post-production eager to hit the theaters in late summer. How can Harvey and Bob hold back on greenlighting this into an instant series? Are they still stinging from Alien Love Triangle? Judging from the amount of crap that they’ve been dumping as exclusive rentals at Blockbuster, the brothers W need to crank out more than Prey 2. They need to start using the Grindhouse as a way to bring life back to escapist trash.

My suggestion is the follow up be done is a deep fried double feature follow up. The first film would pay tribute to the Legend of Boggy Creek series. Tribute might be too kind of a word. Those movies were the absolute pits for thrills and scares. If you have any fond memories of these movies, it better be because you got laid in the back of the station wagon while these borefests ruled the Drive-in.  My movie, Swamp Gas would be the more improved take on the swamp creature flicks. Three college kids are heading down to Florida for spring break when they take a detour to visit a roadside attraction dedicated to the Scubra, a half man, half nutria monster that supposedly roamed the nearby swamp. The boys continue on their way to spring break, but being a trio of losers decide to ditch being teased by drunk coed girls and return to the swamp. They want to have an adventure. They even hire a hot “Poke Salad Annie” gal to be their guide into the muck.  But things go insane when the boys discover various dark secrets about the Scubra. There’s scene where the Scubra attacks a Maxim shoot. Lots of muddy bikinis across the screen.

The second feature pays tribute to the greatest cine-trash genre: Women in jail. But not merely any jail, but a skanky, sweaty Southern jail. A sweet innocent girl on a bus trip out to see grandma gets stuck in a small Mayberry-esque town. She ends up getting lured into trouble by what she through was a fellow nice girl. She gets sentenced to the county work farm. Turns out that work on the farm isn’t meant to rehabilitate. It’s to sustain the local vice markets. No need to spell out too much of the plot other than group showers and cavity searches that will look even hotter on the DVD’s unrated cut. I want to make a women’s prison film that will harden Jess Franco’s nipples.

Don’t come see this doubleheader without a tanktop and a bottle of water. Cause the humidity is going to drip off the screen. And unlike Black Snake Moan these films will be Justin Timberlake-free!

NO LOVE

It would be nice if the Grindhouse guys would tip their hats a little bit more openly to Michael J. Weldon and his Psychotronic empire. For over 20 years, his Psychotronic Encyclopedia has been a sacred text for fans of cinema that doesn’t get shown during Oscar montages.

UNDERSTAND A PHRASE

When a sporting event claims to be “The Superbowl of….” that means the pre-game show lasts longer than the actual event.

LOOK AT US… A

This American Life on Showtime is captivating time on my TV. The show is kinda like a Errol Morris documentary except Ira Glass does the voiceover and there’s less talking straight to the camera. Maybe this show isn’t like an Errol Morris movie. Either way the show does a good job illustrating the tales previously told on NPR radio stations. The cloned bull has been my favorite episode – especially since it has scrotum damage. Ouch!!!

Ira Glass does come off as Mo Rocca’s cousin. These two need to take part in that Doppelganger project.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell the story of Anna and Ana to Ira. But I don’t know if America is ready for such a heartbreaking tale of summer weirdness.

COURT TV IS OUT OF ORDER

After attacking Court TV for running shows about lifeguards instead of trials, the channel has responded. By the end of the year, Court TV will be rebranded in order to “reflect” its new demographic. They want to attract a group called “real engagers” who enjoy watching “real-life stories and true characters.” Remember when a “real engager” was Johnny Depp as he tossed out rings to Winona Ryder and Sherilyn Fenn?

Basically the lack of a true freakish high profile court case and the rise of other channels that are willing to burn airtime on the celeb trials has destroyed Court TV’s audience. How many channels had live coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith corpse grab fiasco?

No word on what the folks at Time-Warner will call the “real engager” channel. My guess is Scalez! Cause that reflects the justice programming and yet is hip and now with that “z.” Or maybe Juztice TV.

REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS ANGRY?

Why is it disheartening to see Ice Cube in the Are We Done Yet? ads? Remember when he was a bad ass from Compton giving us the hood report? Remember when he joined Public Enemy on “Burn Hollywood Burn?” Ice Cube is now roasting in a film that screams, “Steve Martin was too busy to squirt this turd!”

SUGAR COATED LIES

Anyone else swallowing the study that kids today are being bombarded by ads for bad foods which is why they are fat? What? I’m shocked that kiddie TV programming is filled with ads for junk food. Why this has to be the first time in our nation’s history that this has happened.

Heaven forbid that the generation that contributed to this report remember that they were raised on sugar coated commercials. Does anyone recall how every cereal in the late ’60s was coated with “badness.” They didn’t merely have Sugar Crisp. That bear sold us Super Sugar Crisp.  Sugar Corn Pops, Sugar Smacks and Sugar Frosted Flakes were on the shelf. Visit theimaginaryworld.com/cbarch.html to see that today’s supermarket shelves are tame compared to the breakfast diet of decades ago. Fast Food ads have changed. Ronald McDonald pushes milk and apple slices to the active kiddies. There was no healthy foods being harvested in the old McDonaldland ads. And remember that the Grimace was evil back then. Junk foods sponsoring TV isn’t something that was launched while you pumped out your baby. Remember the Frito Bandito? He wasn’t stealing carrot sticks.

What’s sad is that these self-righteous scientists want to blame “junk food” for your kids, but they don’t seem to want to attack the “healthy food” that’s probably turning Junior into a blimp: corn. Check the labels and see how much of your drinks and foods contain corn syrup. When you were a kid, your soda didn’t have corn syrup. But now you’re sucking up corn like a heifer waiting for the first semi to the slaughterhouse. But where’s the publicity in attacking corn? Slinging mud at Spongebob gets you a few minutes with Katie Couric.

You know why your kids are fat? Because it’s not safe to let them outside. Fox News declares that rapists are lurking just outside your front porch ready to nab your child. If you let them play sports, odds are that a violent, drunk father will charge the wrestling mat and attack your kid. Dateline has let us know that it’s not safe to even let the kids go on the internet. What’s must you do to keep them safe? Put them on their asses in front of a TV set. If you want to avoid them from getting the “gimmes” for bad stuff, pick up DVDs of kid shows you enjoyed all those decades ago. There will be no marathon of ads interrupting H.R. Pufnsuf. If you want to keep your kids skinny, feed them gruel. It’s the secret of keeping a trim Oliver Twist shape.

What did happen to a generation that devoured Tutti-Fruiti Flavored Twinkles cereal? Where’s the science on them?

NEWS STUD FANTASIES

Did you know that the fastest growing fetish fiction involves Dateline reporter Chris Hansen? A lot of creepy folks are now sharing their daydreams about sneaking into a strange kitchen and discovering Chris Hansen. Most of the predator wannabes confess that they weren’t looking for a 13 year old girl that had emailed them on the internet. They knew that the fingers on the keys belonged to Hansen. Within a few minutes, the ties are off and they’re pouring Wesson oil all over their bodies and doing stuff that would upset Florence Henderson.

According to a news release from Glick University, Chris Hansen oriented homo-erotic fan fiction has passed Kirk and Spock beaming down each other.  Sources within NBC hint that Stone Phillips is jealous of Hansen’s lusty following.

STABLE BOY JR. SPEAKS

Here’s the lock pick for the Kentucky Derby: Bet on Scat Daddy to show – cause it just sounds dirty. Besides winning the Florida Derby, Scat Daddy was the biggest selling DVD of 2004 in Berlin. If only there were horses named Watersports Wonder and Cleveland Steamer, I’d have my Trifecta.

DORKS FROM THE EAST

Why is a marathon of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge the greatest way to zone out on a lazy evening? All my life, the teachers and pundits would ramble on about how smart the Japanese were. How they were so much better at math. How they were going to kick our lame American educated asses. But watching these hordes of Japanese folks get beaten senseless on a gameshow makes me feel just a little bit superior.

The episode where the contestants tried to compete in rubber monster outfits is my favorite. I nearly stopped breathing when the guy dressed as totem pole attempted to hop across a pond on rocks. Also the final challenge involved a group of Ultramen tossing boulders down a hill at the contestants. After a MXC marathon, I don’t need to completely fear the Japanese. I know that they can be stopped by having them charge head first through a locked door.

PREDICTION FOR RICKY

Now that Extras has wrapped up, what’s the next series for Ricky Gervais? I have a vision that he’ll create a show about a guy who does weekend road rallies in his Mini Cooper. It’ll focus on his dream of one day being able to actually finish a race. The comedy comes from his rivalry with his mother who actually wins on the circuit.

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:37 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • The Max Fleischer Studios teach audiences about those new fangled sound pictures… (Thingamabob)
  • The heavens have opened up and deposited a new episode of Jordan, Jesse GO! upon a grateful humanity… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

April 3, 2007

QSE News: 4/4/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:48 pm
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgFox Television has cancelled its new show, The Wedding Bells, after only seven episodes.  The show, about a family of wedding planners, only managed to draw 4.5 million viewers during its run.  We here at QSE News want to condemn Fox for not giving this show the chance it deserved.  We never watched it, but we’re sure it was better than The War At Home.
  • Rock star and living skeleton Keith Richards has admitted to the British magazine NME that he once snorted the ashes of his cremated father.  According to Richards, he mixed the ashes with cocaine to make it more “palatable.”  When asked for comment, a relative of Richards stated that “it could have been worse.  I mean, he could have melted his dad in a spoon with some heroin and shot him into his [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”
  • A Swedish couple has failed in their attempt to name their new, baby girl “Metallica,” after their favorite heavy metal band.  Sweden’s tax agency, which is in charge of approving Swedish names, rejected the request because of its association with the band and because, as one official noted, “it’s an ugly name.”  However, the agency did give the couple permission to name their daughter after their second favorite metal act, Alabama Thunderpussy.
  • The TV show 7th Heaven will be airing its series finale on May 13th. The show, which is the longest running family drama on TV, centers around a Christian minister and his family dramas. Fans of the show are sad to see it leave the air but at the same time are a little relieved because the show hasn’t really been the same since the father/minister of the show sacrificed two if his daughters to Baal.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Toy Box: Medicom Clonetrooper/Shadow Stormtrooper

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 2:38 am

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The Star Wars universe was just too big for any one company to handle (or so I assume George thought), and so the license has been shared over the last couple years between Sideshow and Medicom. Originally, Medicom figures were being marketed outside of the U.S., but the differences go deeper than that. While Sideshow has stuck with producing entirely none armored figures in their sixth scale series, leaving these for Medicom to handle. Just to add to the confusion, Sideshow also distributes for Medicom in the U.S. now

The two most recent Medicom figures to hit the streets are the Shadow Stormtrooper, and the Clonetrooper. Everybody knows what a clonetrooper is of course, but what in the name of all things holy is a ‘shadow’ trooper? Ah, that would be something from the old comic strips of the late 70’s, and they’ve also been known as ‘blackhole’ troopers. They’ve never made an appearance in any film, but you can’t argue with how cool the all black armor looks. I haven’t seen any 501st wearing this outfit yet, but I’m betting there will be plenty at SDCC this year.

Medicom figures aren’t cheap, and the fact that they are imported only makes things worse. You can expect to pay around $100 – $150 each for these guys, depending on the dealer.

Medicom Clonetrooper/Shadow Stormtrooper

Medicom already released a regular Stormtrooper last year, which I reviewed awhile back. They’ve focused largely on armored characters, like Darth Vader and the troopers, but also did a Jedi Luke early on. Jango and Boba Fett will be hitting this year as well.

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Packaging – ***1/2
Medicom makes boxes that excel in two ways – they’re very collector friendly, and they’re very compact. Collector friendly is the ability to take the figure out of the packaging, pose it around, display it for awhile, and then later return it to its box, without ever damaging it. Medicom does that beautifully, and there’s nothing you’ll need to rip, tear or even untie in freeing these guys from their little prisons.

The boxes are also quite compact, wasting as little space as possible. This is great for MIBers of course, and will save on storage space. It’s also great for the environment, as any card carrying tree hugger could tell you. Medicom hasn’t always been conservative in this area (just check out their Darth Vader for a huge, wasteful box), so it’s nice to see the change.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
If you own a regular Medicom Stormtrooper, then you own a Shadow trooper…just a really pale one.

The big difference here is the black armor of course, and the overall sculpt has the same pluses – and minuses – as the regular version. He’s a little short to be displayed with the Sideshow figures, but he fits in nicely with the previously released Vader. The hands are too small, but the rest of the scale and proportions on the body and helmet look very film accurate. The sculpt work on the cool armor is top notch, and it doesn’t restrict the ability to use all the excellent articulation underneath.

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The Clonetrooper is a big taller, and is actually big enough to fit in with some of the Sideshow figures. He’s only got about a half inch on the Stormtrooper, but it makes a huge difference in how he looks with the Sideshow stuff. He’s still a smidge short, but it’s not as big of an issue.

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Unfortunately, his armor does get in the way of his articulation big time. The armor looks good, but he isn’t going to be able to take any extreme poses. It’s those elbow and knee pads, don’t you know. I bet they were mighty uncomfortable for the actors to wear, too. If actors had actually worn any of it.

The helmet is also a smidge small for the body. For the helmet to be this small, he’d have to have one serious pinhead under there. It doesn’t look too bad for the average collector, but the more anal collectors are sure to notice the proportion issue.

Paint – ***1/2
Both figures exhibit extremely clean paint jobs, but of the pair I prefer the white Clonetrooper. The small detail work on the Shadow Trooper is great, including the eyes and grill of the helmet. But the shiney black appears slightly less consistent across the larger plastic pieces, making it a bit more toy like in appearance. The Clonetrooper may have issues in the other categories, but he takes this one by the smallest edge for me.

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It also helps that all his small detail spots are perfect as well. They work on the black areas of the armor is quite impressive, considering how easily it would be to have overspray or stray marks if the masking isn’t done perfectly.

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Articulation – Shadow ***1/2; Clonetrooper **1/2
The armor these guys wear is always going to restrict them somewhat, but the Shadow trooper, like his earlier white cousin, still manages to pose extremely well. He has all the joints you expect in a 12″ figure, and the Medicom body has made that step up to the next level, where the body ‘hangs’ in very natural ways.

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The Clonetrooper doesn’t quite have the same posing ability. It’s not because the underlying body is inferior, but rather that the armor is so restrictive around the elbows and knees, that he can only take very stiff arm and leg poses. It’s a bit unfortunate, because expectations have been set so high by the stormtroopers.

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Accessories – ***
Neither figure is packed to the gills with extras, but they have enough items to give you some display options.

Both figures come with the clear plastic Medicom display stands, and while these are attractive enough for displaying, you’ll be happy to know that neither are really necessary. You should be able to get these guys to stand for long periods in very convincing, life-like poses.

The also both come with extra hands. The Shadow comes with the same two as the regular Stormtrooper – blaster right hand, thumbs up left hand. The hands swap easily enough and are very sturdy, but they also have the same problem that the all white version has – they are way too small. This poor guy better hope the old rumor about hand size isn’t true.

The Shadow comes with two hands as well: one is the blaster holding right hand, while the other is a slightly different open left hand. It’s nice to see they just didn’t use the same poses as the standard Stormtrooper. Again, while the hands are too small, at least they swap easily and are unlikely to break in the process.

Finally, both figures come with their blasters. The old school blaster that comes with the Shadow trooper fits nicely in his leather holster, but it does seem a bit undersized to me. The older design (yet newer looking) blaster that comes with the Clonetrooper is larger, more rifle-like, and has an excellent sculpt. He has no holster to carry it, but it’s not the kind of thing you could toss in a holster anyway.

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Outfit – Shadow ****; Clonetrooper ***1/2
I’ve already mentioned quite a bit about the armor – the sculpting, paint and fit. But it’s worth mentioning again that these suits really do look quite amazing.

The Shadow Trooper has the same outfit as the white trooper of course, although his underlying body suit seems slightly lighter in color. This may only be a matter of perception though, since his is next to the much blacker armor, while his brethren has his next to the very white armor.

His suit under the armor is that same sort of rubbery material that we’ve seen with the other trooper, but the Clonetrooper went in a new direction. His suit is more like a standard stretch material, with an interesting light pattern of lighter and darker black stripes. It looks fine, although I’m not sure that it’s actually screen accurate. From more than a couple inches away you won’t even notice though, making it somewhat moot.

Fun Factor – ***
Both figures are very sturdy, with tight joints and solid construction. Kids COULD play with these, if you were insane, or you’d hit the lottery.

Value – **1/2
Ah, these are mighty sweet troopers. But you’re not getting any break for your cash though, and these are certainly selling for well above average. The plastic armor is going to drive up the cost over figures like Ghost Rider or X-men 3 Wolverine, but these are still slightly over what feels right. Get one at $120 and you’ll feel pretty good about it – down around $100 and you can add another half star to this score.

Things to Watch Out For –
Not much of anything. These are well built, nicely designed, and quite sturdy considering the cost. You might want to take some care with the soft leather holster on the Shadow trooper, but there’s no obvious issues you need to be aware of.

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Overall – Shadow ***1/2; Clonetrooper ***
It should be no real surprise that the Shadow version of the Stormtrooper scores as well as the very cool regular version. He’s a little short to be displayed with other 12″ scale figures, but he looks terrific with the Medicom figures. Oh, he has those itty bitty hands, and the blaster is a bit small, but these are minor complaints on what is otherwise a fantastic figure. Whether you prefer your troopers black or white is a personal decision.

Ah, but the Clonetrooper version isn’t quite as cool. The armor really limits the articulation, which makes is so much more difficult to get those natural, realistic poses. He’s stiffer, and a bit clunkier appearing, so while he’s good, he doesn’t quite hit the same level of trooper cool.

Still, these are the Medicom troopers are the best ever produced in sixth scale, making them awfully tough for the diehard collector to pass up.

Where to Buy –
ShopStarWars.com has these in at $130 each, but you may be able to find a better deal through ebay or one of the other smaller online stores that import Medicom products.

Related Links –
Other Medicom Star Wars reviews include:

– guest reviews of the VCD Yoda and Boba Fett.

– guest reviews of the ROTS Vader, Jedi Luke, and this very Trooper.

– and my review of their first release Darth Vader, along with the regular Stormtrooper.

QSE News: 4/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:37 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThree teenagers were injured early Sunday morning when unknown assailants opened fire on a crowd gathered outside of a Nickolodeon Kids Choice Awards after-party.  While no one has been arrested, police are pursuing leads including one eye-witness who swore that he heard two rap stars arguing about who was cooler, SpongeBob or Ben 10, shortly before the shots were fired.
  • It appears that Sting isn’t the only master of tantric sex in the music world.  Rapper/producer/liar Sean “Diddy” Combs recently told a London newspaper that he and his girlfriend, Kim Porter, had tantric sex for 30 hours while visiting Paris.  When asked for comment on the boast, a noticeably uncomfortable Porter stated “Yeah, we ain’t be doin’ that [EXPLETIVE DELETED] anymore. My va-jay feels like it walked from here to Tallahassee.”
  • Hollywood stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey had to be evacuated from the set of their new movie because of a poisonous jellyfish.  The pair were filming a scene in Australia when a Irukandji jellyfish was spotted near the set.  After the incident, a local man apologized for the incident, saying that it really wasn’t a jellyfish, he just got really excited seeing Hudson in a bikini.
  • The remains of actor James Doohan, better known as Scotty from the original Star Trek series, are set to be blasted into space.  Doohan’s ashes have been loaded onto a rocket that is set to take off later this month.  Friends and family were relieved when they were able to honor the first wishes of the actor who stipulated that if his ashes could not be sent into space, he wanted someone to “snort his ashes and [EXPLETIVE DELETED] a hooker in the [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

##

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/3/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:03 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • I have to agree with Mark Evenier’s assessment – Pretty girls painting cels = a hit Disney picture… (Thingamabob)
  • Crow T. Robot stars in “Give ’em Hell, Blank”… (Thingamabob)
  • Alanis and a bittersweet tale of humps… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

April 2, 2007

Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review – Beowulf

Filed under: Columns,Nocturnal Admissions — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:46 am
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One of the best DVD videos you are likely to see this year is a solo production of Beowulf. Yes, Beowulf.

Philip Larkin is reputed to have moaned a litany of the turgid works of English literature that he was forced to study in college, each more boring than its predecessor, in defiance of chronology and mounting sophistication, works from Beowulf to Paradise Lost. Today, in the popular imagination Beowulf is just a Woody Allen punch line. But once upon a time there was a thing called literature, then in its infancy. It dealt with the doings of great men, men the auditors of this “literature” were meant to admire, literature in those days being spoken, or rather sung, by roving scops, who were rewarded with food and shelter for their efforts. History was presumed to be scripted by great men doing great things, and their deeds needed recording so that the public could know how they got where they were now, and perhaps appreciate it. Though just as influenced by his Roman and Greek antecedents, Shakespeare surely, whether consciously or not, maintained the same vigilant scrutiny of the masters, it being easier to tell tales of mass appeal when the characters are “known” and their doings of vast importance. Over time, the masses were taught to read, it being believed that this would make them better employees. In the event, it increased their appetite for stories (and political change), and when the novel was the art form, it still told of the doings of the great. Eventually, the professors took over, and literature became a game, one designed to thwart the efforts of the dominant society to “inscribe” within the “text” the prevailing and imprisoning ideology. Thus taught, students of this new “literature” go on to write what they know, which is about seduction at the hands of their hypocritical professors.

Beowulf lies at the very birth of this literature as we know it, or at least once knew it. Though most people affect boredom with the poem, it has had a great and insinuating influence. Tolkien, for example, translated Beowulf (that’s where he got the noun Orcs), and its impact on the most popular film cycle so far of the 21st century is pronounced. Another contemporary fascinated by the text is Benjamin Bagby, a Medievalist and musician, whose musical ensemble, Sequentia, formed in 1977, recreates music from all periods of the pre-recording era. Starting in 1990, Bagby began mounting solo performances of Beowulf, accompanying himself on an Anglo-Saxon harp, a long, thin square of hollowed out wood with short strings attached.

Beowulf box

I know this is going to sound a little PBSy, but Bagby’s performance is amazing. He doesn’t read the poem, so much as sing it, to melodies that emerged to him over the course of his study of the work (the music can even change from performance to performance). Bagby’s voice is a beautiful instrument, capable of doing almost anything, and his interpretation of the poem inspires a wide range of emotions, but wistful romanticism to rage in battle. Bagby’s stated goal is to recreate the experience of the poem as medieval audiences might have from a traveling storyteller. Bagby is utterly engaging, despite the fact that he is sing-speaking a poem in an early form of English that sounds Scandanavian.

Bagby captures the masculine urgency otherwise invisible in the lines on the page. Following along with the subtitles, the viewer is dropped into the mead halls and battlefields via Bagby’s marvelous instruments, both the harp and his voice. Listening, one realizes how the TV show 24 gets it right. By concentrating on the doings, both nefarious and well-meaning, of our leaders, their court battles and their power jockeying retinues, the show’s creators have made a suspenseful show that in essence harks back to the concerns of the theatrical literature from the Greeks to Shakespeare.

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Beowulf captures on video Bagby’s performance of the poem in a Swedish culture center. Sitting the whole time, his harp on his left thigh, a subtly lighted blue curtain behind him, the full emphasis of the show falls on Bagby’s voice and facial expressions. which carry us powerfully through the narrative, indeed making us see that it is powerful. It’s one huge song. You may not understand the words, but then, how many songs have you heard on the radio without understanding the words?

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This disc from Koch Lorber, which hit the street February 13th for $29.95, comes with two extras, each about 20 minutes long, neither of which explain how Bagby fell in love with Beowulf. In the first, Bagby is joined in a bookstore called the Poet’s House in New York, by three scholars, Mark Amodio Vassar, John Miles Foley of the University of Missouri, and Thomas Cable of the University of Texas, who served as a close advisor to Bagby in his creation of the stage show. They discuss the likely genesis and history of the poem, Cable guessing that it might have been written down by a monk remembering performances from his youth.

In the second extra, Bagby attempts to answer the difficult question of how he comes up with the music and melody of his piece. In the end, it is unanswerable because it is so embedded in his process, but he at least does go into detail about the structure and unusual facets of his harp.

QSE News: 4/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:17 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe Will Ferrell vehicle Blade of Glory was number one at the box office this past weekend, raking in more than $30 million. The film’s originality and success will surely spawn a number of copycat films in which downtrodden athletes battle against the odds to become champions.
  • Cillian Murphy has joined the cast of the upcoming film The Best Time of Our Lives. Murphy will star alongside Keira Knightley, Matthew Rhys and Lindsay Lohan. The film will begin shooting later this year after Lohan has “the best time of her life” leading to another rehab stint.
  • In other casting news, actor Luke Goss has been cast in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. The casting of Goss came as a complete surprise to many as no one is quite sure who Luke Goss is.
  • Director Richard Donner is teaming up with comic writer Geoff Johns to create a comic sequel to the hit movie The Goonies. The book with follow the young adventurers as they search for the lost career of Corey Feldman.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

##

April 1, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/2/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:55 pm
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Sid Caesar, Carl Reiner, & Howie Morris… (Thingamabob)
  • Ricky Gervais meets Garry Shandling – the highlights… (Thingamabob)
  • Where are my It’s Garry Shandling’s Show DVDs????… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

##

March 30, 2007

Comics in Context #171: New York 2007 – Bullpen Bulletins

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 3:06 am
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SATURDAY, FEB. 24, 4:16 PM
cic2007-03-30-01.jpg There I was in Room 1E12/13 at the Jacob Javits Convention Center, waiting for the next panel at the New York Comic-Con to start: “NYCC’s Behind the Panels: The 60s Marvel Bullpen.” The panel was supposed to have begun at 4 PM, but for fifteen minutes I’ve been watching people milling about on the right side of the hall.

Finally, at 4:16 PM Stan Lee himself, Marvel’s editor in chief and head writer in the 1960s, took charge and commanded that the panel begin.

Moderator Adam McGovern of TwoMorrows Publishing introduced what he called a “very distinguished panel” comprised of members of the Marvel “Bullpen” of the 1960s, “a critical mass that changed comics history.”

First McGovern introduced Marvel senior editor Ralph Macchio, whom he called a “link from the first Marvel Age to the present.” Well, that was actually a bit of a stretch. Ralph started at Marvel in 1976, when Stan Lee was still based in the New York offices, but in the role of publisher, having ceded the post of editor in chief back in 1972. So Ralph wasn’t part of Marvel’s Silver Age revolution of the 1960s; during that decade he was a fan reading Marvel comics just like other Boomers who later became comics pros. He was one of the first Boomers to join Marvel editorial, and now he’s virtually their Last Boomer standing.

Next McGovern introduced the great inker of Jack Kirby’s Fantastic Four art, Joe Sinnott. Stan pointed to Sinnott, and the audience applauded. Then McGovern presented Gene Colan, the Silver Age artist of Daredevil, Iron Man, Sub-Mariner and more, sitting down at the end of the table, and there was tumultuous applause. McGovern praised Colan as “the painterly genius” and “master of moods.” McGovern then turned to Stan’s secretary in the Sixties, “Fabulous” Flo Steinberg, who endures at Marvel as a part-time proofreader. Stan, sitting between Flo and Joe, pointed to her and applause burst forth once more.

Finally, McGovern said, there was “a man who needs no introduction.”

“They always say that!” exclaimed Stan the Showman, enacting his comedic public persona. “For once just give me an introduction!”

After complying with Mr. Lee’s request, McGovern attempted to open a discussion about working at Marvel in the 1960s, and noted that Colan had come to the company “from other places.”

“Makes you sound very mysterious, Gene,” commented Lee. “‘Came from other places,'” Stan repeated ominously.

But Colan’s ability to respond was handicapped by his lack of a microphone down at his end of the long table. Ever practical, Stan solved the dilemma by giving Ms. Steinberg’s microphone to Colan. “You have nothing to say anyway,” Stan assured Flo. Then Mr. Lee advised the audience to pay attention to Colan: “When this guy talks, the world listens.”

Colan explained to the audience that he thought comics would be a “great place to be,” and that he was “very influenced by film” in drawing comics. “I don’t know where I’d be if not for Stan,” Colan said.

“Probably rich and famous,” speculated Mr. Lee.

Stan wasn’t being serious, but Colan was. “Other people couldn’t see what I could do,” Colan continued. “Stan could,” he told us, and “gave me my break.” The audience was very still, intently listening to Colan’s quiet voice.

“See,” Stan commented, “the big thing is, we got “˜im because he worked cheap.”

Taking this in stride, Colan told us, “Stan always reminded me of Jack Lemmon.”

“He always compares me to dead people!” Stan exclaimed in mock protest.

“I told him that when he”–meaning Lemmon–“was alive,” Colan informed the audience, explaining that Stan had the same “energy” that one sees in Lemmon’s performances.

As if waving Colan’s compliments aside, Lee declared, “Joe Sinnott’s dying here,” thinking that “they’ll never get to me.” But then Lee went on to extol the cinematic aspect of Colan’s artwork. “Every strip he drew was a storyboard,” Lee said, meaning that it looked like a shot-by-shot breakdown for a film. “He viewed all of his artwork as if it was a movie.”

But Stan did not stay serious for long. “Joe Sinnott, on the other hand,” he continued, is “a man of little talent and great charm.” Lest anyone take that at face value, Lee quickly added that Sinnott was a “great inker” and “also a great penciler,” but, shifting back into facetiousness, “we didn’t tell anyone because Kirby would get jealous.”

Sinnott also made his gratitude to Lee plain, telling the audience “I’ve been working for Stan for fifty-three years.” (It would be more precise to say that Sinnott has worked for Marvel all those years, but Stan Lee was either editor or publisher for most of that time.) Sinnott told us that he once worked in the cement industry and “if not for Stan, I’d still be there.”

Once again, Lee resorted to what seems to be one of his favorite lines: “What they don’t realize is these people worked cheap.”

“Don’t believe that,” Sinnott instructed the audience. Then Sinnott began, “You could almost expect when Stan was going to give you a raise. . . .”

Before Sinnott could expose him as a generous man, Stan hurriedly changed the subject and turned to Ralph. “We’ve got a Johnny-come-lately” on the panel, Stan said, claiming that Ralph was just “out of his teens” and yet had ended up “on an old-timers’ panel.”

Ralph told Stan he had actually started at Marvel in the 1970s, taking Mr. Lee somewhat aback. Then Ralph started reminiscing about the days when Lee was still based in Marvel’s New York offices, and took obvious pleasure in recounting a time when he heard Lee sharply criticizing a certain Marvel writer/editor of that time.

“This is great for me,” Stan said happily, “because I have no memory!” He told us “I’m learning” things about his own past just by being there.

Then Ralph too voiced his gratitude to Stan, recalling how Lee “would call me into the office, and since I was the new kid. . . He would sit down on the couch with me like there was no one else in the world and for twenty minutes he’d show me” how to do “word balloon placement.” Macchio summed up, “There was energy there working with Stan that you couldn’t deny.”

“He was the only guy who would listen,” explained Stan. “He was the new kid.”

Then Mr. Lee turned to Ms. Steinberg. “It’s Flo’s turn. I have no idea what she’s doing here.” Then, referring to times past, he added, “I don’t know what you were doing there.”

Flo, however, can see right through Stan’s act. “Working at Marvel was SUPER,” she told the audience, audibly putting the word in capital letters. As for Stan, she assured us, “He was a joker, too.”

“She means the villain,” noted Stan.

As for the differences between Marvel Then and Marvel Now, Flo wisely observed that in the 1960s Marvel “wasn’t the corporate place it is now,” and that it “had a greater sense d’estime,” slipping into French.

“She was Fabulous Flo,” Lee said. “What were you, Ralph?”

“Reliable Ralph,” Macchio responded.

“We could’ve gotten you something better than that,” Stan responded.

Turning back to the subject of Flo, Lee told us that “we thought at first Flo was putting on an act.” He recalled that once she was all upset, and it turned out that it was because the office had run out of staples. “You can’t find anyone like that! She cared!”

Joe Sinnott added that it was a pleasure dealing with Flo over the phone: she “had the sweetest voice when she called.”

“You were never mean,” Lee told Flo onstage, setting her up for another gag. “You were wrong often, but never mean.”

On the other hand, Stan claimed “I was scared of Gene.” More precisely, “If I wanted to make a correction, I was scared to criticize Gene, because he took it so seriously:  ‘Do you mean a hand has to have five fingers?'”

Commenting on the way the panelists were interacting, moderator McGovern remarked, “It was a family then and a family today.”

Shortly afterwards, Flo mentioned “little MMMS,” the company’s in-house fan club in the 1960s, the Merry Marvel Marching Society.

“Small MMMS!?” retorted Stan, as if insulted. Referring to the club’s theme music, he maintained, “It was a great song.”

“Every morning before work we’d sing,” Flo told the audience, being something of a joker herself.

“You think we forgot?” asked Stan, who then, as he had on his panel the previous day, launched into singing the Merry Marvel Marching Society anthem. The audience clapped along, merrily and marvelously. Then, when Stan finished, he apologized, “Excuse me, I should have stood up when I sung it.”

Then Lee was asked about the time that the great Italian film director Federico Fellini (8 1/2, La Dolce Vita) dropped by the Marvel offices in the 1960s. According to Stan, his receptionist told him, “Stan, there’s a Fred Felony to see you.”

“Nobody ever visited me,” Lee told us. “I’d see anybody.”

When Lee saw Fellini, “All of a sudden I recognized him.” Fellini wasn’t alone: “he had four other associates with him,” Stan said. Moreover, “They were in descending order of height,” with Fellini, in the lead, as the “tallest.” Stan continued, “And they were all in black raincoats.” Fellini had his over his shoulder. Though Lee did not say so, this was clearly a Felliniesque sight. “I have no idea what he wanted. He had a thick accent,” explained Lee. “But apparently he was a fan. I wanted to talk about him, but there was no way I could communicate with him!”

The moderator asked Lee, “Didn’t you work with famous film directors?’

“Oh, yes,” joked Lee. “They wouldn’t make a movie without me.”

Actually, Lee did work with one famous foreign filmmaker back then: Alain Resnais, a member of the French New Wave, and the director of Hiroshima, Mon Amour (1959) and Last Year at Marienbad (1961). If you’ve seen either film you will find it hard to believe that Lee and Resnais have much in common aesthetically. But, as Lee told us, “Alain Resnais wanted me to write his first English language movie.” Moreover, “He said he had read Spider-Man for years.” Lee explained, “I wasn’t going to say no. It was very flattering.”

So Stan, who was then inexperienced in movies, wrote a screenplay, and, he told us, “it wasn’t very good”: “it was 120 pages filled with dialogue.” Still, a producer was interested, but wanted the dialogue pruned down. Stan said he would have been willing to do it, but “My idiot friend Alain said, “˜Stan will not cut a word of it.'”

And so Lee and Resnais never sold the project. “If that nut had let me cut it, I might be someone famous!” lamented Lee.

Then the moderator inquired how the comics business had changed since the old days. “The most gratifying thing,” Ralph Macchio responded, “is to see it [Marvel] penetrate popular culture.” He explained, “The things we enjoyed when we were kids are now billion-dollar franchises, and that’s due to Stan.”

As he had done at his Friday panel, Lee again shared credit with the artists he worked with. “Believe me, Marvel is not a one-man show.” Then he added, “Oh, maybe I was the greatest.”

In that sweet voice Joe Sinnott had so commended, Flo Steinberg quietly observed, “Stan was always very modest.”

Then Lee praised two of those 1960s artists who were right there with him, Colan and Sinnott. “They have style,” Lee said. “That’s not easy to achieve. You may not like it when you see it, but you recognize it.”

Lee continued, “Flo, on the other hand, doesn’t write, doesn’t draw. What is it you’re doing here?” But soon thereafter, with a touch of hyperbole, Stan acknowledged Flo’s secretarial prowess: “She practically ran the company!”

Flo, who is indeed a modest, self-deprecating person, said she felt “humble.”

“A quality I will never understand,” commented Stan.

Called upon to reminisce, Flo said she would “try to think of a funny story.”

“You’ve never thought of one all these years,” Stan replied. “Why start now?”

So Ralph told a story that demonstrated what Flo meant to comics fans in the 1960s. He recalled that as a kid he was puzzled over Thor’s inability to smash a goblet with his hammer in a Tales of Asgard story. “I was determined to find the answer. So I called up Marvel and talked to Flo, who told me that in Asgard, everything was enchanted,” so that’s why Thor’s enchanted hammer couldn’t smash the enchanted goblet. “I was totally satisfied,” declared Ralph, who was easily pleased back then.

Having listened to all this, Stan the Man pronounced his judgment: “Ralph is obviously a survivor. The thing is, nobody knows what he does.” On these two points, Stan Lee, Marvel’s All-Knowing All-Father, is absolutely correct.

On numerous occasions other comics pros have asked me about just these subjects. What does Ralph do? I have no idea. Why is Ralph still at Marvel? Beats the heck out of me. And yet he survives and prospers, invulnerable to all the upheavals and downsizings that claimed so many of his contemporaries. It’s like the way that Inspector Clouseau escapes all those assassination attempts through seeming strokes of sheer luck. Maybe it’s because he and Stan share the same birthday.

Years ago Ralph used to be nicknamed “K. D.” for “Kiss of Death,” inasmuch as during his long, seemingly interminable apprenticeship as an assistant editor, every one of the editors he worked for got canned. Then Ralph finally got promoted to editor, and since then, virtually everyone of his generation at Marvel got canned. It’s as if he’s safe at the eye of the hurricane, which wipes out everyone around him. It reminds me of I, Claudius. (I don’t have time or space to explain the reference to those of you whose idea of serious literature extends no further than The Dark Tower; look it up.) All we have to do to end the war on terror is to get Ralph a job with Osama bin Laden, maybe as editor of Ultimate Jihad. Within a few years, Ralph would be the only person left in Al Qaeda.

Inspired by Ralph’s anecdote about Thor’s hammer, Stan commenced a brief lecture. “People don’t realize how scientific Marvel is,” he began.

“Superman has no visible means of propulsion,” Stan pointed out. “Even a bird flaps his wings.” So how does Superman manage to fly?

In contrast, Stan continued, at Marvel “we want to be scientifically accurate.” He wanted Thor to be able to fly, so “We gave him the enchanted hammer Mjolnir,” Stan said, pronouncing the name carefully.

Stan instructed us to observe how “authentic and scientific” Marvel was in explaining how Thor could fly. Thor’s hammer, he pointed out, has a strap that fits around the thunder god’s wrist. So “Thor whips the hammer” around above his head, building up momentum, and then hurls it into the air. And because the strap is attached to Thor’s wrist, the hammer pulls Thor up into the air as well.

“Nobody can say that isn’t scientifically sound,” proclaimed Mr. Lee. And then, quietly, he added, “That’s just a small example of the difference between DC and Marvel.”

This was Stan the Showman with the audience in the palm of his hand. Of course Stan’ explanation of how Thor can actually fly is utter nonsense. We know it, but Stan also knows it, he knows we know it, and we know he knows we know it! As he said on Friday, part of Marvel’s appeal was that it was like an inside joke that we all shared. And Stan’s explanation, scientifically unsound though it may be, still has more surface credibility than Superman just going “Up, up and away!”

And Stan basically won the war with DC Comics decades ago, and DC adopted the innovations Stan had pioneered at Marvel. But the good-humored pleasure that Stan takes in poking fun at DC the way he used to back in the Sixties is infectious, and the audience just ate it up.

When the moderator asked for questions from the audience, the first questioner surely spoke for everyone there. Referring to another groundbreaking team of the 1960s, he said, “We’re not going to get a chance to meet the Beatles”–not all of them, anyway–“or thank them.” So then he thanked the people on stage for their contributions to comics.

There was a little boy in the question line who asked that classic fan question, “Who’s stronger–Thor or the Hulk?” I suspect this lad had been prompted by an adult Marvel fan.

Stan turned the question over to Gene Colan, “and he’s not going to give you a hastily considered answer.”

Colan responded rather philosophically, “Whoever thinks he’s stronger is stronger.”

Impressed, Stan commented, “You know, Sophocles couldn’t have given a better answer.” I think Stan meant Socrates, but at least here’s proof that Frank Miller isn’t the only comics pro who knows classic Greek literature. (Oh, all right, there’s Roy Thomas and Eric Shanower, too.)

Nonetheless, Stan delivered his own judgment in favor of Thor, because “Thor’s a god.”

Then the small boy asked if he could have Stan autograph his T-shirt. The Man assented, and the boy went up on stage. “And he’ll remember this moment for at least another hour,” Stan noted.

Signing away, Stan worried aloud that “I’ll ruin your short, your mother’s going to kill me, and I’ll give you my lawyer’s address.” There you have it: the Master had turned the signing of a T-shirt into a three-act drama, with suspense, symbolic death and rebirth, and a happy ending.

The tyke’s less than fifteen minutes of stardom completed, Stan sent the lad on his way, bidding him, “Don’t let the fame go to your head!”

And the panel turned to another question, about how to “revitalize characters.”

Stan passed the buck to Joe Sinnott: “Joe is so desperate to answer that question.”

“I wasn’t even listening,” replied Sinnott.

“That’s what he used to say when I gave him instructions,” commented Stan. And so the Bullpen panel memorably went.

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SATURDAY, FEB. 23, 5:30 PM

Originally I was supposed to do a signing for Marvel Encyclopedia and X-Men: The Ultimate Guide at the DK Publishing booth at mid-afternoon on Saturday, and moderate a Golden and Silver Age panel at 5 PM. Then, on Friday, I was asked to moderate the “80s Superhero Renaissance” panel at 2 PM instead. So, with the blessings of the good people at DK, I rearranged my schedule. And if you’ve been reading my con reports you know that I ended up being the only panel member on stage for a half hour because the organizers forgot to tell the other panelists to show up!

So now I was doing my DK signing at an off-peak time, from 5:30 to 7 PM Saturday evening, when presumably people are heading out to dinner. Not only that, but the convention had assigned DK a space towards the back of the hall, away from the main routes of customer traffic. Still, I was kept busy enough when I started this signing session.

I’ve found I quite enjoy doing signings: not only do I get to feel like a minor celebrity for a little while, but it’s also relaxing in comparison to moderating panels, reporting or them, or just trying to get through a crowded convention floor.

I also enjoy the company at the DK booths, which, apart from a gent or two, are invariably entirely staffed by friendly, charming and attractive ladies. It’s sort of like John Byrne’s LexCorp in his Superman books, but benign.

When you’re sitting at a booth, the rest of the convention tends to pass by before you. So, for example, former Marvelites Glenn Herdling (see “Comics in Context” #150) and Steve Geiger stopped by, and we got to chat about that perennial topic, Marvel Then and Marvel Now.

Despite the wintry temperatures outdoors, the convention floor had been so crowded all afternoon that it was getting downright hot. This, however, was a perfect temperature for Princess Leia, who walked past wearing her slave girl costume from Return of the Jedi, brightening my day. Soon afterwards a spectacular Dark Phoenix wandered past in the opposite direction. It’s as if I was seated at the crossroads of the multiverse.

Speaking of the Princess, you may recall that last summer at the DK booth in San Diego, I discovered that I was sitting right behind Carrie Fisher, who was in the next booth. This time in New York when I turned around, it was animator Bill Plympton who was sitting in the booth behind me.

When my allotted time at the DK booth ended at 7 PM, I stopped by Artist’s Aerie (so dubbed by the Beat due to its lofty location) once more, but not getting enough sleep the last few nights was catching up with me, so I decided against trying to enlist any dinner companions. After all, I had one more day of the convention to go.

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SUNDAY, FEB. 25, 11 AM

And there I was, back at the DK booth on Sunday morning for another scheduled signing. It was another off-peak time, and the convention floor was relatively and rewardingly uncrowded. Nonetheless I signed and sold the last remaining copy of Marvel Encyclopedia at the DK booth during this morning session. I also got to see a resplendently costumed Darth Vader stride menacingly by: it’s a good thing he showed up on a different day than Princess Leia.

By the way, when I’m signing books I try to make sure that the ink has sufficiently dried before I close the book. I wouldn’t want the recipient to get the book home and discover the signature has smudged.

SUNDAY FEB. 25, 12 PM

Ascending the escalator on my way up to Artists’ Aerie, I look around myself at the interior architecture of the Jacob Javits Convention Center. Just being in the San Diego Convention Center lifts my spirits: it is a marvel of postmodern architecture, designed by Canadian architect Arthur Erickson to evoke the ships in the nearby harbor, with the building’s triangular fiberglass “sails,” and enormous circular windows resembling portholes. Even on the main convention floor, despite the lack of windows, the hall somehow seems open and bright. In sharp contrast, the Javits Center’s network of crisscrossing steel beams seems to me grim, dark, unlovely and oppressive.

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Last year the New York Comic-Con took place during the controversy over the Danish cartoonists who had drawn cartoons about the prophet Muhammed. A vocal supporter of the embattled Danish cartoonists, writer and artist Colleen Doran, who was attending the Con, offered to give one of her sketches to anyone who brought her something having to do with Denmark, and to donate a dollar per person to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. So I brought her a Danish pastry (see “Comics in Context” #123). This year when I stopped by her table in Artists’ Aerie, she offered me some delicious Danish cookies. I had the feeling of a circle being completed.

I also went over to say hello to artist Amanda Conner and Claypool Comics editor Richard Howell. Amanda drew all the covers for the Claypool series Soulsearchers and Company (see “Comics in Context” #38), but she and Richard had not seen each other for many years, corresponding instead by telephone. But now, just before the final issue of Soulsearchers was to come out, Amanda and Richard found themselves sitting alongside each other in Artist’s Aerie. I picked up a copy of Amanda Conner’s Book of $#!* You May Have Never Seen! #1, a showcase of the wit, sexiness, and visual charm of Amanda’s art.

She also inscribed something on the cover of the copy she gave me, but once I had transported it home in an enormous Dark Horse bag I had found, it had smudged so much as to be indecipherable. Damn! I fell into the very trap I usually try to avoid!

Towards 2 PM I ventured back to the lower level with the meeting rooms to attend my final panel of the convention, a tribute to the recently deceased comics artist Dave Cockrum.

Exactly a month after the convention weekend, another major comics artist who first made his mark in the 1970s, Marshall Rogers, passed away on Saturday, March 24.

If I were asked to select my favorite run of issues from the entire comic book history of Batman, it would be the six issues of Detective Comics, #471-476, from 1977 and 1978, written by Steve Englehart, drawn by Rogers, and inked by Terry Austin (see “Comics in Context” #84). Although they were recognized as instant classics by discerning comics aficionados of the time, it was not until nearly thirty years later that DC Comics commissioned Englehart, Rogers and Austin to create a sequel. I hoped that their new stories would live up to the high standards set by their original run on Detective, but was that hoping too much? No: the 2005 Batman: Dark Detective miniseries was another triumph (see “Comics in Context” #84, 87-88, 90, 93, 104). Englehart and Rogers already had a further sequel in mind, and I was enthusiastically looking forward to it. And now it won’t happen.

With the mainstream media’s new, more welcoming attitude towards comics as an artform, obituaries for Rogers have been appearing in numerous newspapers, including the March 29 New York Times. I am becoming annoyed by the fact that there have been so many important figures in American comic book history–not just Cockrum and Rogers, but even Jack Kirby, Gil Kane and Alex Toth–of whom the Times took no notice until after they were dead. The Times, the “newspaper of record,” has a great deal to catch up on in covering the comics artform and its history.

I did not know Marshall Rogers well, but I spoke with him in person or by telephone several times over the decades, including conducting an interview with him, Englehart and Austin at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art two years ago. Marshall was always friendly, and always a pleasure to speak to.

It has often been said that Marshall’s Joker was something of a self-portrait, but in person Marshall’s smile was always warm and benevolent.

You should all read Fred Hembeck’s affecting tribute to Marshall in the March 27 entry on his blog, and listen to Englehart, Austin, writer Roger Stern and inker Joe Rubinstein reminisce about Rogers on the March 28 “Comic Zone” Internet radio show. Then write to Marvel Comics to ask them to collect the Roger Stern/Marshall Rogers run on Doctor Strange, long overdue for reprinting, into a new trade paperback.

It is sad when any person dies at a relatively young age. But when a creative artist dies, all of the potential work that he or she could have created perishes as well. I will return to this subject next week, when I wind up my convention coverage with my report on “Dave Cockrum Remembered.”

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF

I shouldn’t do a column about Stan Lee’s appearance at the New York Comic-Con without again recommending that you all go see the survey of his career which I co-curated, “Stan Lee: A Retrospective,” now running at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art in Manhattan’s SoHo.

As I’ve mentioned in the past (see “Comics in Context” #58), comics–and even the graphic novel–were invented not in America but by a Swiss scholar, artist and satirist named Rodolphe Topffer in the early 18th century. You can read my article about the first English language compilation of his work, Rodolphe Topffer: The Complete Comic Strips, in the latest edition of Publishers Weekly‘s online newsletter Comics Week.

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

10 Quick Questions: Eren Cannata

Filed under: 10 Quick Questions,Columns,Interviews,Trailer Park — admin @ 2:49 am
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by Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

It’s when you hear artists as they’re evolving as musicians that you really respect the talent it takes to be successful in this business. And make no mistake about the nature of this beast: it’s a business.

You need to show how you can be an economical investment for any of the major labels to pay attention to your skills. You can be the greatest show on earth during a festival like SXSW, and you can be the talk of the town, but if you’re not marketable to some necktie wearing stiffs in the back room of some boardroom you can just take your pachouli and go somewhere else.

Eren Cannata’s dedication to his music is one thing but when you listen to how he has found a way to exist without the help of the big label infrastructure that has made good bands sell their creative soul to the material devil he’s an amazingly sharp man who is equally precise when it comes to delivering on the melodic goods.

Eren’s music travels a route that many can relate to but so few have put so well without sounding trite, maudalin or saccharine sweet. His album, Blame It On The City, is his first major release and one that defies convention if you’re taste has been steeped in the false and theatric nihilism of My Chemical Romance or any other number of emo bands that should really be big boys about making their way through the world; suck it up, stop whining and if things are really that bad then get a job and call me when you realize life isn’t supposed to be wine and roses.

I caught up with Eren just days after the release of his full-length album.

CHRISTOPHER STIPP: You had an in-store concert appearance recently, didn’t you?

EREN CANNATA: Yes, the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, New York City. It was a huge performance for us and a milestone for my career, my life. It was a bit surreal, too. There were tons of people there and it was so much fun and for the first time my CD is everywhere, they even had it in the New Release bin, the whole bit was pretty exciting.

STIPP: I would ask if that’s the biggest crowd you’ve played for prior to the release of this album but I’m sure you’ve played for bigger”¦

CANNATA: Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the biggest venue I’ve ever played because I grew up on the road with my dad who was a saxophonist for Billy Joel and The Beach Boys, I was a tour kid, and, at times, all of us would come out and play with the band on the biggest of shows. So, I’m working my way up to that! One day it’ll be my show.

STIPP: When did this all happen?

CANNATA: Well, I was born in 85 and I went out with the Beach Boys in the 90s, because that’s what he was doing around then, and it was just a blast. I got real close with Carl Wilson, who has since passed away since then, and I got very close to him but it was one of those experiences I remember at all times and taught me a lot about music.

STIPP: What was one of the biggest things you took away from it?

CANNATA: Well, Carl Wilson taught me how to warm up my voice. Simple as that. I was one of the only kids allowed in his dressing room at the time, I don’t know why, my dad says it was because every one else was a little more annoying than me, but I would go back there and say “This is how you warm up”¦This is what we do”¦These are my guitars”¦” They also taught me about harmony and how to blend and how to be good to each other on the road and how to write good music. Even if they didn’t personally show me, osmosis picked it up and I’m trying to apply it to my own music making process.

But I took a lot away from it all even though I was simply enjoying myself at the time, just trying to be an annoying little kid.

STIPP: How did your experience, then, shape how you thought about in which direction you wanted to take your own sound?

CANNATA: The Beach Boys and Billy Joel”¦the songwriting, alone, is amazing to me. Pet Sounds was revolutionary in how it was recorded and written. Billy’s The Stranger”¦they’re true songsters. They have ideas and concepts that”¦let’s say about “love.” Everybody talks about love but how are you going talk about love and make it popular, again, and make it something that’s new, fresh and catchy and a lovely piece of art too? So, through them, I’ve shaped my sound”¦find that hook, find that difference, find that harmony part in your vocal that people have done before but you’re saying with your flair and your attitude and that you’re making your own. And that’s something I’ve taken away that’s been invaluable.

STIPP: How does that influence your writing?

CANNATA: Sometimes people will ask, “What’s your passion about the whole thing? Is it performing? Is it playing guitar?” But, really, the thing that I am first and the thing that I love the most, and would never give up in a million years for anything, is writing music. I love writing and listening to great music. That’s where my heat lies, that’s how it’s shaped. I like to start with that.

If my song doesn’t sound good with me and an acoustic guitar in my hand or me and a piano or just me singing a capella”¦if it doesn’t have any meaning or significance when I do any of those then I don’t believe there’s any grounds for me to put it on an album. That’s why I’m so excited about the album because all those songs mean something to me and they say something. They all can be played acoustically.

I was at the University of Maryland and playing for the students there, 600 some odd tickets were sold, and I did the entire show acoustically. It was great and everyone had a really good time. It really shows the bare bones of what I love to do.

STIPP: Especially on a song like “Part of Me” I thought about how the sound of that song represented of what I could compare it to from my own musical experiences. It finally came to me that listening to that song was like hearing the genesis of a band like Toad the Wet Sprocket; a real focus on instrumentation, introspection and a sound that any college kid in the early 90’s could gravitate toward.

CANNATA: Absolutely. And that’s what I want to come out of my music; I want to be as specific enough and say exactly how I feel but yet when people listen to it I hope they can say something like, “Yeah. I’ve been there.” Something that can capture the audience like that as they listen.

STIPP: Who do you admire that’s out there, then, contemporarily speaking, that’s playing right now and speaking to what you’re trying to accomplish with your music?

CANNATA: I think John Mayer. He’s got something magical about him. Not because of his first or second album but because of the way he’s trying to depart from his usual self. I read in an interview about him he said, “I’m more comfortable with a guitar in my hand than a microphone in front of me.” He’s a great songwriter, he’s a decent singer but he really plays guitar and he was able to tell his record label, “I am going in this direction. You need to trust me.” And, personally, I really enjoy that; he’s taking the bull by the horns and doing it like that.

That being said, though, it’s not my most favorite of things I’ve ever heard. People that I admire right now? I listen to old stuff. Things like Tower of Power and I still listen to Billy Joel and The Beach Boys. Right now I am completely hooked on the new Beatles “Love” album. I’m completely hooked on that.

STIPP: And, at this point, John can pretty much call the shots. When you were recording Blame It On The City was there any give and take with what you wanted and what those in charge wanted?

CANNATA: Here’s the brilliant part about that”¦my father has a recording studio here in Glen Cove, Long Island and it was basically that when my dad was on the road with Billy my mom wouldn’t let my dad spend his money on fancy cars or boats or anything. So, she said, “Buy something that will give back”¦something that you can do and love it for the rest of your life.” So, they put a studio together and since I’m an only child I am totally indebted to my parents for that. Being that it was here, my dad produced my album and it was a lovely thing where all the comments that were made were in my best interest. It was like “How do you feel?”, “What do think you should do?”, “What do you think sounds good with this?” That’s why it worked out real well.

We also didn’t have a label hanging over our head telling us what to do and so we started our own indie label, Brown Dog Records, my father and I and an attorney. It’s great. We signed up with Icon Distribution and they got it into stores for us. And, so, the people we answer to is my father and an attorney that is completely in love with the project. If we think we should do something, we do it. If we don’t want to do it, we don’t do it and no one tells us otherwise. It’s one of the most lucky situations we’ve fell into and it’s certainly one of the most lucky things that have happened in my life so far. Being able to have an album in stores and doing it the way I want to do it, by choosing the pictures we want with the CD and not the ones that people would negate or try to airbrush”¦

STIPP: Is that a trap where you see some performers fall into?

CANNATA: A lot of musicians want it so bad that they’re willing to compromise integrity for it”¦which is tough. If I didn’t have this position I might be compromising my integrity too. I want it that bad as well. It’s a dirty game but you’ve got to play by the rules and break some rules at the same time.

STIPP: Speaking of distribution”¦With music companies growing ever more conglomeratized how difficult is it to get your music”¦

CANNATA: Distribution is extremely hard. A) A good distribution deal, in itself, is a hard thing to get and B) some distributors will simply release an album online and say, “Here it is”¦It’s released.” It’s tough but we’re excited because we have a distribution company that believes in us. Just being able to have someone like Josh Kelly, someone who I listen to while I was writing my album, and for us to be on the same roster of distributors is pretty cool.

STIPP: Have you had to be more of a business person than someone who wouldn’t have to be”¦

CANNATA: Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. I never thought I would but when I discovered that I was going to have to wear a few hats, it’s what I had to do. We had to make sure we hired a really good team, a small team but effective, who could push it because we want people to buy it and we want people to listen to it. We know that there are some people who will listen to it and be opinionated about it but, you know what, we think it’s good and if they like it, they like it.

STIPP: You’re going to be touring behind this, right?

CANNATA: We’re probably going to be doing 20 shows in the next month, just by myself, just doing acoustic things, just promoting it out there, doing a lot of college towns and things like that. But a lot of that stuff is up in the air. We’re booking shows 1 by 1 and getting ourselves on the road.

I’m so damn excited to get out there and show everyone every song that I’ve ever written from the beginning of time”¦I’m very comfortable on stage. It’s an exciting moment for me and I can’t wait to share this with everyone.

STIPP: Going back to the recording of the album, I’m curious, did there ever come a time when you felt like you were overproducing a song? You can hear it in how some artists just add layer after layer”¦

CANNATA: Of course. There’s one song on the album that my father and I did not produce, “Part of Me” in fact, and the one thing we worried about was that it was done too many times. We sort of have this concept in the studio”¦everything you lay down, make sure it sounds amazing. Don’t say, “We’ll come back to it.” And that’s just good producing, that’s not over producing. And when you when you over produce something it’s when you keep putting more and more on top of what was there; it gets cluttered. Because here, in the studio, we have the liberty of being able to burn CDs after we’re done every day and we’ll be able to be honest with each other. I might say, “Dad”¦Didn’t really need those background parts,” and he’ll be in a position to be able and say, “Yeah, I agree with you. Take “˜em out.” And we’ll be done just like that. We have a good checks and balances system here.

STIPP: But what happens when you come to a crossroad where you disagree? Are you, ultimately, the president, C.E.O.?

CANNATA: We’re very democratic, diplomatic about it all but if, let’s say, an engineer feels real strongly about something we know something’s wrong because they work with us. These people who are the engineers have been engineers for my dad for 20 years. They learned how we work and a lot of those people who’ve worked here have gone on to be Grammy award winning mixers and engineers themselves. So, their opinions are very valuable to us. If they’re strongly feeling something we take that into consideration. At the end of the day, yeah, we’ll make the decision but, in the back of our mind, we might be thinking, “You know what? They might be right about this so let’s see how we can rework it to make it perfect without making it sound too homogenized and over produced.”

STIPP: In your writing, what comes first: melody or the lyrics?

CANNATA: For me, sometimes, the music comes first or the lyrics come first. It’s always different. But the most successful way, I’ve found, is if I sit down and everything comes out at the same time. “Blame It On The City” came out all at once. It was a streaming thought. Front to back. I didn’t even start with the chorus. Every song, to me, the reason why I would consider a good song for the album has a story like that.

STIPP: And something that I appreciate is the way these moments, these songs, seem honest. It seems like a decision you have to make as an artist as well.

CANNATA: Absolutely. You’ve got to find your true integrity in it and that’s what I really enjoy about what I do. It is believable because it is true. It’s those normal little stories of things that have happened to me and I’ve turned them into something interesting just by phrasing them into a way I think they should be phrased.

STIPP: Your sound seems reminiscent, like I’ve stated, of the college rock that seemed to be so prevalent in the early 90’s; minimal production, thick sound. Has anyone else commented on what this music appears indicative of to them?

CANNATA: There’s a lot of younger fans that I have and what I get from them is that this music is something completely different than what they’ve been exposed to and, from the older fans, a lot of people have said I have an old soul. I get that a lot. I average those two together and think that the music speaks to something that my older fans were listening to when they were the age of my younger fans.

STIPP: My last question, if you don’t mind offering some thoughts on the subject, is when I was reading your bio it said you really began your musical career with cover tunes, something that really helps with all those things necessary to being a good musician. What do you make of those guys who never move beyond that, those dudes who will forever play 25 cent draft and well drinks, damned to jam forever, singing back-to-back ditties like “Sister Christian” and “Panama”?

CANNATA: I find that a lot when I come back home.

Home for me is Long Island, New York and I find that when I come back home and I see all my old friends, they’re the ones at the bar playing those things and they’ll say, “This is life. Why would I ever want to leave here?”

But that’s what it is. It’s like that movie, GARDEN STATE. There are some but I feel like it’s almost a little too foolish to pigeonhole yourself to just do cover songs like that and try to make that your life.

At the Virgin in-store I did one. I did Jimi Hendrix’ “Fire” with Max Weinberg from Bruce Springsteen and Conan O’Brien”¦he came up and played with us.

STIPP: Really?

CANNATA: We rocked it out. I put down my guitar and ran around on stage. It was fantastic and everyone had a really good time. It was the cherry on top of a completely original set. We played a great set, people were so in tune with the signing of the album”¦and we see Max there and we were, “Yo, Max. Come on, come on up.” I brought the horn section up and we played it with horns and made it something really unique that people could enjoy.

STIPP: Eren, thank you so much for making time for me. I hope the album does very, very well.

CANNATA: Thank you, absolutely.

QSE News: 3/30/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:13 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgU2 singer Bono has become the latest celebrity to become a knight of the British Empire. Bono was reportedly excited about the new title and immediately asked when he would get his suit of armor and where he could get some “princess tang.”
  • The Beastie Boys have announced that they will be performing several acoustic shows this summer. To help promote the shows, group members plan on getting arrested for drunk driving, getting caught shouting racial slurs and entering rehab. “It’s worked for all the other rappers… so we might as well,” said Beastie Boy Mike D.
  • Actress Halle Berry has admitted to Parade magazine that after her marriage with baseball player David Justice ended, she tried to kill herself. Berry apparently tried to asphyxiate herself by sitting in a running car in a garage, but stopped when she thought about her mother finding her. We here at QSE News would like to congratulate Ms. Berry for having the courage to admit this, but we would also like to remind her that no one likes a quitter.
  • Microsoft has announced plans to release a new version of their next-gen gaming console, the Xbox 360. The Xbox 360 Elite will come with a High Definition Multimedia Interface port as well as a 120 gig hard drive. Gamers across the country are preparing for the new system by collecting 119 gigs worth of digital porn.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/30/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:12 am
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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Can we give a medal to The Sound of Young America‘s Jesse Thorn? Can we do that? Because he deserves it for helping to bring more attention to the criminally overlooked comedy of Coyle & Sharpe… (Thingamabob)
  • Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes Of All Time… (Thingamabob)
  • This is wrong on just so many levels… (Thingamabob)
  • For those of you who’ve ever been curious about that whole Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz thing… (Thingamabob)
  • Garden gnome problem? Try “Gnome-Be-Gone”… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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March 29, 2007

QSE News: 3/29/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:47 am
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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe cover for the next, and last, Harry Potter novel has been revealed. The cover features Harry Potter alone, reaching for the sky. Fans of the series had hoped the cover would feature the three main characters of the book, naked and in a loving embrace.
  • With the success of the LEGO Star Wars videogames, LEGO has announced a similar game based on its Batman license, LEGO Batman: The Vidoegame. The game will allow gamers the opportunity to play little LEGO versions of many classic Batman characters. The game is geared towards children, but to help draw adult gamers, developers built in features like sex with hookers, car jacking, vandalism and a crazy amount of violence.
  • Black Eyed Peas member Taboo was arrested for drinking, driving and smashing in Industry, CA. According to reports the rapper was picked up and charged with Driving Under the Influence after a collision. We at QSE feel for Mr. Taboo and hope that he remains strong in these difficult times but we’d also like to caution and remind him that no amount of alcohol will make him forget that he is in part responsible for “My Humps.”
  • And finally today, writer/director Guy Ritchie is set to launch a new graphic novel with Virgin Comics.  The comic, called Game Keeper, is said to be a gritty crime drama.  Much like the last few projects Ritchie has spearheaded, it is expected that his wife Madonna will soon become involved and make a once cool project totally lame.
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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/29/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:35 am
thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • An insider ode to the impending crap Transformers flick… (Thingamabob)
  • Of course, we have to follow that up with Today’s Special(Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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