FRED Entertainment

April 23, 2007

Comics in Context #174: Hat Trick

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 12:02 am

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cic2007-04-23.jpgOver the last few weeks I’ve been writing about the fate of the creative artist, in both real life and in animated films, who takes a new, innovative path only to suffer rejection and failure. Last week I also referred tp essayist Paul Graham’s characterization of the innovator’s new ideas as “heresies,” as far as the conventional wisdom of the time is concerned. But with the passage of time, the truly talented creative artist receives the recognition he deserves, and his “heresy” is accepted as truth.

DIsney’s latest computer-animated film, director Stephen Robinson’s Meet the Robinsons, provides new variations on these theme. Along the way, the film propounds a “heretical” notion of its own: that failure is good.

The protagonist of the film is a twelve-year-old orphan named Lewis who has a talent for technology, but whose inventions keep malfunctioning. Transported into the future, Lewis meets the title characters, the Robinson family. When another of his inventions goes awry, Lewis believes he has failed again. But the Robinsons celebrate his failure, acting as if it were his birthday. They explain to the bewildered boy that failure is good, because it enables us to learn from our mistakes.

The Walt Disney Company recently purchased Pixar, the studio that has created so many successful computer-animated features over the last twenty years (See “Comics in Context” #120), and made Pixar’s John Lasseter the chief creative officer of Walt Disney Animation. So this sequence made me think of another Pixar animated film, writer-director Brad Bird’s The Incredibles (See “Comics in Context” #62), which takes a very different point of view.

As you may recall, Bob Parr, alias the superhero Mr. Incredible, complains that “They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity” in contemporary society. When public opinion forces the government to prevent super-powered individuals from using their powers as superheroes, The Incredibles presents this as an indictment of society for allegedly refusing to allow talented individuals to excel. Bob and Helen Parr’s son Dash says to his mother, “Dad says our powers make us special.” Falling back on society’s conventional wisdom in the film, she replies, “Everyone’s special, Dash,” whereupon he retorts, “Which is another way of saying that nobody is.” Indeed, the ultimate scheme of the movie’s villain, Syndrome, is to make it possible for everyone to gain super-powers, because, he says, if everybody is super, then nobody is.

In an article titled, “Take a Bow, Loser, the Spotlight’s Yours,” in the April 8, 2007 issue of The New York Times, drama critic Charles Isherwood contends that there is a “new mood abroad in America. A country renowned–for good or ill–as the land that enshrined success as a prize to be cherished above all others has lately evinced a sneaky fascination with failure. “ Among other examples in current popular culture, Isherwood points to last year’s indie film success Little Miss Sunshine, stating that “the ethos of the movie argues that winning isn’t really anything. Better to be a happy misfit, like the rest of the family, than a soulless success. . . .”

That, in fact, sounds like the philosophy of Pixar’s 2006 release, Lasseter’s own Cars (see “Comics in Context” #137-138). Its protagonist, Lightning McQueen, is no “loser,” but ultimately chooses the virtues of empathy that he has discovered over his ambitions for “soulless” success. He sacrifices his chance of winning the big race in order to aid an older, injured competitor. McQueen becomes part of a community of outsiders, just as the misfit Lewis finds happiness when he is accepted by the Robinsons, who are a clan of outright eccentrics who are also a warmly loving family.

I see from Googling that I’m not the only person who saw a similarity between the Robinsons and the similarly happy, caring family of nonconformists in the 1936 stage comedy You Can’t Take It with You by George S Kaufman and Moss Hart, which was adapted into a 1938 film directed by Frank Capra. According to an interview with director Stephen Anderson published in The Los Angeles Times on March 26, 2007, the analogy is intentional. Anderson said that William Joyce, who wrote the book A Day with Wilbur Robinson, on which the new animated film is based, told him “You have to watch this movie. It was a huge influence on me in creating the family in the book.” As a result, Anderson told the interviewer, “Several times throughout the process, as we were trying to crack this family and come up with moments for them and how Lewis would interact with them, I would pop in the movie and use it as an inspiration.” He continued, “I love how accepting and free they [the family in the Capra film] are. “˜Freedom’ is the word to describe that family and [the Robinsons]. There is no normal. There is no abnormal. It’s whatever makes you happy.”

According to the play and film of You Can’t Take It with You, Grandpa Sycamore, the head of this extended family, one day decided to quit his job. Except for the heroine Alice, no one among the Sycamore family and their live-in friends has a conventional career, and they obviously don’t have much money, though they somehow have enough for leading a simple lifestyle. The play and film thus clearly define two alternatives: the pursuit of “soulless” success and the decision to achieve happiness by “failing” to seek such success. (Presumably Alice and her boyfriend follow a path between the two extremes.)

Cars and Meet the Robinsons don’t make the dividing line so sharp. They contend that one need not singlemindedly pursue “success as a prize to be cherished above all” in order to achieve a more profound and emotionally rewarding sort of success. Lasseter said in an interview that in Cars “the message is not that life in the fast lane is bad, it just needs to be in balance. . . . If you don’t have friends and family for the sake of a career, when you’re a success you have no one to share it with. It’s much more satisfying to have people around you to share in your successes, and to help you through your difficult times. That’s what life’s about.”

McQueen’s act of charity during the climactic race actually makes him more popular with the onscreen audience than the actual, amoral winner. His new friends in the community of Radiator Springs are examples of talented individuals who have fallen from current fashion, like certain real life creative individuals whom I have mentioned over the last few weeks. Once McQueen, a current racing star, directs public attention to Radiator Springs, the enduring values of that community are again recognized, and the little town prospers once again.

Meet the Robinsons deals not with the talented individual whom the world has forgotten, but with the brilliant innovator whom the world has not yet recognized. Let’s go through the screening I saw step by step, and along the way I will show you how Meet the Robinsons develops this theme.

I saw a screening of the version of Meet the Robinsons in “Disney Digital 3-D,” which struck me as looking far more impressive than it had with Disney’s previous computer-animated release Chicken Little (see “Comics in Context” #110). Following the inevitable irritating series of onscreen commercials and trailers, we were alerted onscreen to don our 3-D glasses. Then there was a short, amusing sequence in which Carl, the Robinsons’ robot, welcomes the audience and demonstrates 3-D effects, as he abruptly seemingly moves from the flat screen right towards our faces, justly earning delighted vocal reactions from the kids in the audience.

But before the feature began, we got to see Working for Peanuts, a 3-D Donald Duck cartoon that was released in 1953 during the original fad for 3-D movies. The 3-D effect here is interesting, but hardly convincing. Everything still looks flat, but it’s as if the characters and the backgrounds are on separate planes, one in front of the other. In contrast, in the computer-animated main feature, everyone and everything possesses a convincing sense of three-dimensional volume. The 3-D version of hand-drawn animation emphasizes the flatness of the drawings and hence underlines the unreality of the cartoon. The 3-D version of computer animation gives the figures and objects and backgrounds onscreen a heightened sense of reality, so that it’s easier to suspend one’s disbelief.

My favorite 3-D effect in Meet the Robinsons came at the very beginning, in a scene set during a driving rainstorm: it was as if the rain was falling not just in the world of the film but around me, as well.

Working for Peanuts is nominally a Donald Duck cartoon, but he’s really only the fourth most important character in it. It’s really about chipmunks Chip “˜n’ Dale trying to steal peanuts from a elephant in the care of zookeeper Donald. In this cartoon Donald must be on Prozac or something, since though he gets characteristically annoyed, he never launches into one of his famous all-out temper tantrums, which are highlights of his earlier vehicles. (John Byrne has described Donald as Disney’s Hulk.)

Maybe Donald seems so tame because this is one of the Disney studio’s animated shorts from the 1950s, when they usually seemed low key in comparison to the Warners and MGM cartoons of the period. Donald, who at his animated best embodies this irrepressible splenetic force, has been relegated to a supporting role in his own cartoon. This cartoon represents the Disney studio of Walt’s time in a more easygoing, less ambitious middle age. There are good gags here and there, but the cartoon is more charming than funny, and it comes to a stop rather than building to a proper ending.

On the other hand, I was impressed by how good even such a mediocre cartoon from Walt Disney’s lifetime looked. The character designs were appealing, the animation was pleasing, the colors were bright and cheerful, and I found myself thinking that this minor Disney product looked so much better than most recent animation I see. The standards of Disney animation were so high that even a disappointing cartoon like this one now seems like a minor gem from a lost Golden Age.

Those audiences who attended the non-3-D screenings of Meet the Robinsons got to see a different introductory cartoon instead, Boat Builders (1938), a genuine classic from the true Golden Age of the DIsney animated shorts, teaming Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.

According to a December 3, 2006 article in The New York Times by animation historian Charles Solomon, Pixar’s John Lasseter, now that he is in charge of Disney animation, was the driving force in instituting a new series of animated shorts at Disney as a training ground for rising talents, just as CGI shorts have served at Pixar. So the shorts accompanying Meet the Robinsons presumably are to accustom audiences to looking forward to the new animated short subjects yet to come.

It seems to me that the shorts accompanying Robinsons serve other purposes as well. For one thing, they’re fighting back against the new conventional wisdom that contemporary audiences only want to see computer-animation on the big screen, not traditional hand-drawn animation.
Now here’s a prime example of important works of art–the great hand-drawn animated films from Disney and other studios–that have currently, unjustifiably, fallen from fashion!

Further, the shorts shown before Meet the Robinsons serve to introduce a new generation of kids to classic Disney characters. Meet the Robinsons began with a new logo for Disney animation, which incorporated a clip from the first Mickey Mouse cartoon, Steamboat Willie (1928). My pleasure in seeing this tribute was suddenly interrupted by a kid’s voice from the audience yelling, “Who’s that?” Luckily, another child responded almost immediately, and nearly as loudly, “Mickey Mouse.” I know that the Disney Channel has the new Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for preschoolers and that its sister network Toon Disney features Mickey in the clever and entertaining House of Mouse animated series. Still, this little incident served as a reminder that even iconic cartoon characters have to be exposed to new audiences. Let’s not let them fall from fashion just because the new generation doesn’t know about them!

It’s also important to keep the classic Disney cartoon shorts in public view. Certainly I’m grateful that so many of them are available on DVD for aficionados. But when the Disney Channel started, these shorts were prominently featured, notably through the Mouseterpiece Theater series, wherein George Plimpton introduced them. That was an intriguing gimmick, since it was simultaneously parodying Alistair Cooke’s introductions for PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre, while simultaneously making the point that these cartoons are indeed classics that are worthy of formal showcases. I continue to be amazed that nowadays neither the Disney Channel nor Toon Disney finds time to show the classics, not even as a late night show. So I’m grateful that Mr. Lasseter and company have released two of the classic shorts from the vaults to be shown with a new animated feature.

I’m even more surprised that at present Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies made from 1948 on aren’t being shown anywhere on television. This is something that I never thought would happen. Turner Broadcasting owns most of the pre-1948 shorts, while Warner Brothers retains ownership of the later shorts, including most of the best work of directors Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng, and Robert McKimson. After Time Warner bought Turner Broadcasting, Turner’s Cartoon Network would show Warners theatrical animated shorts from both sides of the dividing line, but, after the commercial disappointment of Looney Tunes: Back in Action, the Warners theatrical cartoons were all banished to the less widely seen Boomerang digital network. And now, even though Boomerang is owned by Time Warner, it still had to license use of the post-1947 cartoons and let the license lapse (see here for explanation) . And yes, I have all the Looney Tunes Golden Collection DVDs, I appreciate that Warner Home Video includes cartoons as special features on DVDs of films made during Hollywood’s Golden Age, and I know about the new Looney Tunes website, but I still find it astounding that, after so many decades, so many Warners cartoons are no longer on television. Maybe Warner Brothers should follow Disney’s lead and pair classic shorts with new animated releases. Warners’ Happy Feet could have been accompanied by 8 Ball Bunny, a 1950 Chuck Jones cartoon with its own show biz penguin (which turns out to be the cleverly chosen bonus feature on the March of the Penguins DVD).

Now, as for Meet the Robinsons itself, in the dark, moody opening scene in the rain, an unidentified woman leaves the infant Lewis on the steps of an orphanage.

Sometimes I will see a critic figuratively throw up his hands in the course of a review of a story, exasperated that the supposed cliche of the hero as orphan is being used yet again. It’s not a cliche; it’s an archetypal situation, and there are good reasons why we see it used everywhere from the works of Charles Dickens to the Harry Potter novels to the origin of Batman.

For one thing, the orphan’s situation symbolizes that of all of us once we emerge from the protection of our parents in our childhood and have to strike out into the world on our own. There is a longing for lost security and a sense of aloneness, coupled with an awareness of the necessity for taking responsibility for our own lives.

Second, orphanhood connects to the individual’s quest for his identity, whether in Oedipus Rex or H. M. S. Pinafore or the origin of Superman. The protagonist searches for his past, in the hope that learning who his parents are and where he came from will define his role in life.

It turns out that in the case of Meet the Robinsons, orphanhood is a literally autobiographical element; director Stephen Anderson is himself an orphan.

When Lewis has grown to the age of twelve, he has proved to be brilliant in science, and is continually inventing new devices, most or all of which, it seems, do not work. Moreover, the film makes the point that he is long overdue for being adopted, and that, since he is on the verge of turning into a teenager, if he isn’t adopted soon, he probably never will be. (Since he’s on the verge of adolescence, Lewis is about to leave childhood behind, and start on the path to self-reliant adulthood; this, therefore, is the proper place for this contemporary fable to begin.)

But it seems that Lewis keeps being rejected by potential foster parents. We are shown how one interview with prospective parents goes awry. This couple is put off by the intense fervor with which Lewis describes his latest invention, and then the machine spectacularly malfunctions, creating a mess that infuriates the would-be adoptive parents.

In this sequence the film teeters on the brink of labeling Lewis as an obsessive nerd or geek, but it never crosses that line. Lewis remains a sympathetic figure, and the prospective parents come off as narrow-minded, unpleasant, and even anti-intellectual.

Though he is an inventor, Lewis can be regarded as a creative artist, following his muse, attempting to turn his imagination into reality. Computer animation involves both art and technology, so Lewis’s vocation is appropriate to the film. He’s also the artist as lonely, struggling innovative, who so far meets with only rejection and incomprehension. The world rejects his work, just as sets of potential parents keep rejecting him as a person.

One of his few friends is a fellow orphan nicknamed Goob, who likewise has never been adopted. Goob’s interests lie in baseball rather than science, but he seems rather sullen, joyless, and unimaginative. But the fact that Lewis and Goob are presented as roommates should alert the perceptive viewer that they may metaphorically represent two sides of the same person.

Focused on his past, Lewis invents a “memory scanner” device in the hope that he can use it to learn his mother’s identity. Lewis exhibits his invention at a science fair, where it is sabotaged by a mysterious villain known as the Bowler Hat Guy, whose hat is a sentient, sinister robot known as DOR-15 (alias “Doris”). Thus another of Lewis’s inventions causes a disaster, and the Bowler Hat Guy makes off with the memory scanner.

Another enigmatic stranger, a boy named Wilbur Robinson, shows up with a time machine. Lewis, still focused on the past, wants to use the time vehicle to go into the past to learn who his mother is, but instead they crash land in Wilbur’s own time period, decades into the future. There Lewis meets Wilbur’s large, eccentric family, the futuristic counterparts of Kaufman and Hart’s Depression-era Sycamores.

I found the first third of the film more expository than entertaining, and found my attention wandering during the start of the second third, set in this future three decades hence. On a second viewing I may find myself more interested in this section, which introduces us to the idiosyncratic members of the Robinson family.

But on this viewing I did like the bright, sunny, retro-futuristic look of this future world, whose buildings are designed in the “Streamline Moderne” style of the 1930s. According to Wikipedia, this is “a late branch of the Art Deco style. Its architectural style emphasized curving forms, long horizontal lines, and sometimes nautical elements (such as railings and porthole windows).” (That makes me wonder if that the giant porthole-like windows at the San Diego Convention center, home of Comic-Con International, may be references to the Streamline Moderne style.) According to my research, Streamline Moderne was a style used for the fantasy architecture in MGM’s The Wizard of Oz (1939) and, coincidentally or not, another Frank Capra movie, Lost Horizon (1937).

It doesn’t really make sense that the architecture of the Robinsons’ world would have so completely changed in merely three decades. Look around any American city and you’ll see buildings from many different decades coexisting. My own neighborhood is a historic district, with apartment buildings designed in imitation of the Tudor style, and even an Art Deco building. Similarly, the Robinsons wear clothes that are wildly different in style from those of the present day. Radical shifts in fashion can take place–compare women’s clothing in the 1890s to what they wore in the 1920s–but the extreme change in style posited by Robinsons seems unlikely.
Recently visiting my alma mater, Columbia University, I again observed that, apart from the cell phones and laptops, the students there look and dress just like they did in the 1970s.

But the thorough changes in clothing and architectural styles is actually essential to the theme of the film, as you shall see.

My attention revived when the Bowler Hat Guy and his nasty hat turned up in this future world to send a ferocious tyrannosaur from the Cretaceous Period after Lewis. Just as the BHG proves to be more of a pathetic incompetent than the master villain he seeks to be, the tyrannosaur turns out to be more charming than dangerous, and quickly turns into the Robinsons’ tail-wagging pet. Thus the family succeeds in incorporating another outsider into their charmed circle.

The head of the family is strangely absent, but the family takes to Lewis, and Mrs. Robinson offers to adopt him. When it is revealed that Lewis is from the past, however, she withdraws the offer, presumably because she now sees the big plot twist coming. (And if you don’t want to know about it, this is your spoiler warning, and come back after you’ve seen the movie.) Distraught and angry by yet another rejection, Lewis joins forces with the Bowler Hat Guy, who, as I suggested earlier, represents his dark side.

It is in the film’s final third when the movie finally comes to life for me. The long set-ups in the earlier part of the film finally pay off handsomely. I could see the Big Plot Twist coming: Lewis is actually the missing Mr. Robinson as a child, and the Robinsons are his future family. But I was caught off guard by the second Big Twist: the Bowler Hat Guy is Lewis’s sullen roommate Goob as an adult.

It turns out that by falling asleep at the wrong moment during a baseball game, Goob failed to catch a ball, dooming his team to defeat. Goob was paralyzed by his sense of failure, was never adopted, and led an empty life, putting the blame on Lewis for keeping him awake the night before the big game. So as an adult, he became the Bowler Hat Guy and went back in time to get revenge on his former roommate. The bowler hat itself, DOR-15, turns out to be one of Lewis’s inventions, which the adult Goob stole.

Like Lewis, Goob is fixated on the past, but Goob has taken this to obsessional extremes. Goob is tormented by his sense of failure, but is unwilling to take responsibility for it, and instead displaces the guilt onto his former roommate. You could easily interpret Lewis’s own fixation with learning about his mother as rooted in his own sense of failure and inadequacy: surely he wonders why he was abandoned. Was it somehow his fault? The fact that Goob’s primary weapon, the robotic bowler hat, is Lewis’s invention is a further symbolic link between them.

The BHG imprisons Lewis in the future; the side of Lewis’s personality, which the BHG represents, is now dominant. That side may not be so much the dark side as the weak side. The true villain is the robotic hat. The BHG goes back in time to the present day, Lewis’s own time, in order to forge a deal to mass produce the robot hats. As a result, in the future, the Robinson family’s time, the hats, following the familiar Frankenstein scenario, are taking over the world. Everyone who wears one of the robotic bowlers is mentally controlled by it. (This seems to be an archetypal science fiction scenario, like the Mad Hatter with his mind-control devices in Batman: The Animated Series, and the mind-control variations on iPods in the new Doctor Who series’ revamped origin of the Cybermen.) The mind control exerted by the hats seems to me symbolic of the way that Goob’s obsession with the past and with revenge dominated his own psyche. It’s as if the hat is usurping the role of the well-balanced human mind.

In this altered future, the bright, beautiful world of the Robinsons is altered into a dark, nightmarish dystopia. Reviewers have likened the plot to the Back to the Future film trilogy, but if we pursue the Frank Capra analogy, it’s like the metamorphosis of Bedford Falls into Pottersville in It’s a Wonderful Life (1946).

Lewis escapes captivity (his good side symbolically reemerging from domination by his anger and self-pity), and uses the time machine to travel back to the present. In a clever bit, Lewis alters history simply by declaring that he will never invent DOR-15, whereupon the evil bowler hat simply dematerializes from existence. Lewis takes the BHG (now hatless and symbolically free from DOR-15’s influence) back to the future, where they witness the dark dystopia’s transformation back into the Robinsons’ sunny utopia. The BHG repents, and later in the movie, Lewis changes the BHG’s own history by waking Goob up during the fateful baseball game, enabling him to catch the ball. The treatment of Goob/BHG shows the generosity of this movie, which ultimately has no human villains: Goob is granted redemption.

In the future Lewis meets his older self, a successful scientist and inventor. Young Lewis may be an orphan, but the adult Lewis, who is actually named Cornelius, is the central figure in his large family. Rather than seek our a lost parent, he has created a family of his own. Moreover, through his inventions, he has greatly changed the world in which he lives. That’s why it’s symbolically important that the world of the Robinsons looks so different from the present day. Cornelius has not only made a family for himself, but he has also reshaped his world. (Young Lewis has done so too, by banishing the dystopian alternate timeline and reinstating the Robinsons’ future.)

This is a metaphor for how every individual creates his own life through his actions. Lewis/Cornelius did so productively, benefiting the whole world. Goob/BHG took a different route, first turning his life empty through inaction and obsession with the past, and then having a destructive influence on the world through seeking vengeance.

But also the world of the adult Cornelius represents the ultimate triumph of the creative visionary. Whereas Lewis as a boy was not taken seriously as an inventor, three decades later, the adult Cornelius has won recognition and success, and, indeed, he has remade the world according to his vision. That is a metaphor for how innovative “heretical”: thinking can eventually overcome opposition and become recognized as truth.

Wilbur (who is now revealed to be the adult Cornelius’s son) takes Lewis back in the time machine to that rainy scene from the opening of the film, and Lewis is tempted to tap his mother on the shoulder, learn who she really is, and perhaps even somehow change his own history. But Lewis resists the temptation, and history proceeds as before.

This is an intriguing decision by the filmmakers. In other works of fiction it is both important and right that the orphaned protagonist discover his heritage. Harry Potter learns the truth about his parents, and thus goes from being an abused orphan to becoming a heroic magician. The revelation of the identity of Oliver Twist’s parents gives him a new identity as the wealthy Mr. Brownlow’s adopted son.

It reminds me of the end of John Byrne’s 1986 The Man of Steel miniseries, which rebooted and reinterpreted the Superman mythos. Whereas the Silver Age Superman could recall his childhood on Krypton through his “super-memory,” Byrne’s revised version could not. In the final issue of The Man of Steel Superman was confronted by an image of his father, Jor-El, which downloaded information about his Kryptonian origins into his mind. Yet on the final page, Superman, though grateful to have solved the mystery of his origin, asserts that it has changed nothing. He has lived his life on Earth, his foster parents were Earthlings, and he considers himself not an alien but an Earthman. Many have stated that the Superman myth is in part about the immigrant experience. In this regard Byrne’s version was sharply different from the Silver Age Superman, who longed nostalgically for his native world.

Byrne’s Superman is very much like Lewis in Meet the Robinsons. Both of them have made the decision that their past doesn’t matter; what matters is their present and future, which they are creating for themselves.

Just as Lewis revisited the scene of Goob’s failure and made it turn out right, he then returns to the science fair, and this time his memory scanner works. That’s because there’s no Bowler Hat Guy to sabotage it this time around. Perhaps it’s also symbolically because Lewis himself is no longer fixated on his past; maybe the destruction his inventions caused reflected the psychologically destructive impact of his own fixation. Now that Lewis is looking ahead to the future that he visited, his invention works.

Moreover, his triumph at the science fair sets dominoes falling that he and we know will lead to that future. Lewis is adopted by the science fair judge and her husband, who he realizes are the grandparents in the future Robinson family. (Actually, everyone in the audience should have recognized the raucous white-haired grandmother as the science fair judge long before.) And a girl at the science fair turns out to be the future Mrs. Robinson.

Just as Robinsons opened with a clip from Walt Disney’s Steamboat Willie, it closes with a quotation from Walt himself, “Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things”¦ and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” This connects the philosophy of Robinsons to that of Walt Disney himself. Goob remained stuck in a rut, obsessed with past failure; once he overcame his own fixation with the past, Lewis moved ahead as an inventor of “new things.” Possibly it is also a signal from Lasseter as to his hopes for the future of Disney Animation. The quotation also underlines once more that Meet the Robinsons is about the life and goals of the creative artist, whether he is a child prodigy inventor or the founder of a great animation studio.

And isn’t Walt Disney a prime example of a creative visionary who, despite early setbacks, literally transformed the world? Steamboat Willie premiered within the memories of people who are still alive, and yet I think it is difficult for those of us who belong to younger generations to imagine what American popular culture would be like had there been no Walt Disney.

The next Pixar animated feature, arriving this summer, is director Brad Bird’s Ratatouille. In the same interview that I quoted from earlier, John Lasseter describes the new film thus: “It is about a rat that wants to be a fine chef in a top French restaurant in Paris. It is a wonderful story about following your passions when all the world is against you. A rat to a kitchen is death; a kitchen to a rat is death.” In other words, Ratatouille follows Happy Feet and Meet The Robinsons in exploring the theme of the creative artist who pursues his muse in the face of universal opposition. When I review Ratatouille this summer, I’ll be returning to this theme as well.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR SOMEONE ELSE
Since upgrading my Internet connection to broadband, I’ve found the explosion of online video more frustrating than pleasurable. Sometimes I get only the sound, other times the sound and picture are out of synch, and in many cases I can’t get the video link to work, period.

But meanwhile I’ve found videos that work perfectly right here at Quick Stop: comics and animation writer Paul Dini’s Monkey Talk, chronicling his interspecies Oedipal conflicts with his anthropoid son Rashy, a classic trickster. After an absence of several months, he’s posted new ones here at Quick Stop, and they just keep getting funnier. I recommend that you take a look.

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

QSE News: 4/23/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAlec Baldwin has apologized for calling his 11-year-old daughter a “rude, thoughtless pig” after an audio tape with a message from Baldwin to his daughter was leaked to the press last week. Although Baldwin’s comments were inexcusable, everyone agrees that his daughter could stand to lose a couple pounds.
  • The film Disturbia was number one at the box office for the second week in a row. The film, which is an “updated” version of Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, pulled in over $13 million. While watching the film, many have noted that if you listen carefully enough, you can hear Hitchcock spinning in his grave.
  • During an interview to hype Spider-Man 3, director Sam Raimi announced that Sony has plans for at least three more Spider-Man films. While details of the on the next films are sketchy, it is believed that in Spider-Man 4, Spidey will go the route of other franchises by including a hokey plot, poor acting and bad writing.
  • The internet has been buzzing the last few days about Matt Damon being in negotiations to star as Green Arrow in David Goyer’s movie SuperMax.  In related news, Ben Affleck is in talk to do something with someone to upstage the news of his friend’s potential announcement.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/23/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:01 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Nothing brightens a Monday morning more than the wonderfully daft adventures of Superman’s pal, Jimmy Olsen… (Thingamabob)
  • How to sell Kentucky Fried Chicken, circa 1971… (Thingamabob)
  • Ocasionally, my faith in the system is restored… (Thingamabob)
  • But let’s take a trip to McDonaldland… (Thingamabob)
  • Before a terrifying visit with the Burger King… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 20, 2007

Trailer Park: Does The Suit Sling One’s Knackers With Cool Comfort or Painful Pressure?

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 12:36 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

1. Quick note: American audiences have been given the go-ahead in the quest for figuring out what exactly is going on in SPIDER-MAN 3. What I find curious, and this was the subject of a long afternoon lunch I had with a fellow geek on this issue, is what movies can you name that had multiple story lines and still successfully managed to serve the overall ethos of what the film aimed to do? We couldn’t really come up with anything that would assuage the thought that you could really have one movie per villain/story arc and how much are the odds stacked against a film, Raimi or not, that has to open and close, start and finish, and deal with so much on the personal levels of all involved?

There’s simply no question that this is going to be a thrill ride. That much is certain. However, and this is a big however, how do you serve all these threads without minimizing anyone’s involvement to the movie? It’s not tempering a nerd’s hunger like mine to find out but after you see the film’s last and final trailer of what supposes to be Raimi and Co.’s last film together, although there are a few more zeros that could make anyone’s bad back a little more nimble, there just isn’t any way to try and grasp exactly what the focal point is of the film.

The devil is in the details; let’s hope that it’s there on the screen.

2. I usually don’t run these sort of things in this space but I received this and thought some of you out there would enjoy this press release. To be honest, I am a wicked huge fan of videos like this. I mean, seriously, just click this link and watch it. Watch it. But one of the things that I would find most compelling on sites that rely on 3rd party content, when you’re trying to wade through the R-Kelly, lip-syncing 13 year-olds or young men trying to act out “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” in various forms of dress, are perhaps the more meaningful ways in which user-generated content seeks to say something instead of being something. I can’t say with any degree of certainty whether this site below will be able to be the next gen in what could perhaps be the next evolution but it did catch my eye and I wanted to pass it along for your perusal.

DUO TAKE REALITY TO ANOTHER REALM WITH LAUNCH OF

YOURTRUMANSHOW

New Portal Goes Live In April Bringing Real Life Stories to the Web

San Francisco, CA April 12, 2007 Italian businessmen Arturo Artom and Luca Ferrero have found the perfect name for their new portal based biographical video blog. YOUR TRUMAN SHOW. The site, which goes live in April, will put real life on line, hosting original stories and vignettes following people’s lives and allow viewers to interact with the content, rating those stories they watch. It’s a unique twist in content development for user-generated sites as YOUR TRUMAN SHOW is not reliant on third party copyrighted material to help perpetuate its audience, but solely on the creativity of its own users within the internet community.

The massive engine required to handle the interactive content ambitions of YOUR TRUMAN SHOW will be based in San Francisco , where it was designed by founder Luca Ferrero and his technical team.

Arturo Artom, who raised the initial capital funding from both ltaly and the U.S, is rewarded as one among the most innovative Italian entrepreneurs. A pioneer in the new generation telecom business, in the early ’90s he was the first in Italy to challenge the teclo monopolist. Artom also founded Netsystem, which is now the European leader in the ADSL via satellite technology, and, recently, launched a new intelligent lighting system company, Muvis, that quickly became an international case study.

In the wake of recent lawsuits by media giants against other sites in the same vein, YOUR TRUMAN SHOW was determined to find a way to bring people together for the user experience that new generations are craving. Gen X and Gen Y audiences are now the driving force within the internet space and are consumption ambitious. The original “real” content in YOUR TRUMAN SHOW will offer audiences a way to connect and network, as well as relate to situations that may be applicable in their own lives. It will contain everything from stories about a recent job loss to a couple in crisis to the shy guy in search of the right woman and the first portal to allow video bloggers to tell their experiences on line.

YOUR TRUMAN SHOW founders Artom and Ferrero stated, “People today are entranced by what happens in other people’s lives and reality television has become a phenomenon. Equally, the internet has provided a means to reach millions, sharing personal stories, pictures, communications, home-made videos and user-generated content. The idea behind our site is simple in that it links communities together globally, providing a glimpse into people’s lives and the chance to interact with that material on a personal level. It’s almost like a permanent “Big Brother” composed of thousands of little brothers”. Participants and viewers will engage in the interactive site, voting for their favorite video blog and developing stories based on others experiences. The potential to spin the most popular and interesting into other delivery platforms is enormous as content remains king, whether on television or as theatrical motion pictures.

Negotiations are currently in place with a media company to lock such deals in place.

After I read this, I got curious.

I’m painfully sick of those who plant their demo reel on YouTube, Lonely Girl 15 springs to mind awfully quick, and asked what this site was going to do to set itself apart from all the other video sharing locations that are springing up like Starbucks all over the Internet.

This was the response regarding what Your Truman Show.com really is:

Basically this website is YouTube meets a host like MySpace. As you know, on YouTube one can watch different videos, rate them using a 5 star system and make comments, but it’s not a blog-centric site. MySpace is great because you can post videos and have links that go to your blog page/sites if you have one ““ but it’s not a universal platform for everyone to participate in ““ its only for invited friends.

Your Truman Show is YouTube with a video-blog platform which doesn’t exist anywhere else on such a large scale. The creator, Arturo Artom is aiming to bring 1 million lives together in 1 single environment. As you can see from the attachments, YTS has a very unique rating system, that rates not just the videos themselves, but people’s actual lives ““ from the dramatic, to the comedic, romantic, interesting etc”¦

Arturo compares YTS with other websites that you search for best hotels, best restaurants etc by looking at someone’s comments & reviews on the website”¦well YTS is similar in that it will have reviews and comments on people’s lives but also be the point of reference for all video-bloggers on the net.

YTS has numerous possibilities of outreach to millions of unique users. Any person can put their lives up for display, be rated, possibly highlighted, moved to the homepage where their unique life/story could be used as a powerful marketing tool, possibly for fame, or a job, anything.

Consider me hooked on the idea. I think reality, true reality, and, yes, I do realize what happens when you turn life’s lens in on itself. It’s kind of a watched pot never boils kind of thing. However, as with any endeavor you really are sorting the wheat from the chaff anyhow. If you get some shining stars in there then I think a more personal, less nut shot oriented, site like this stands a chance to be something more than it is.

MR. WOODCOCK (2007)

Director: Craig Gillespie
Cast:
Seann William Scott, Billy Bob Thornton, Susan Sarandon, Ethan Suplee, Amy Poehler, Emily Wagner, Evan Helmuth
Release: October 26, 2007
Synopsis:
Seann William Scott stars as John Farley, a self-help author who returns to his hometown only to discover that his mother (Sarandon) has fallen in love with his old high school nemesis, Mr. Woodcock (Thornton) ““ the gruff, no-nonsense gym teacher who had put him through years of mental and physical humiliation. Determined to prevent history from repeating itself, John sets out to stop his mother from marrying the man who had made life miserable for him and his classmates.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Billy.

Billy, Billy, Billy. Billy Bob. Bill-a-rino.

What is up with these choices of yours? Did you buy a Twister set at Kay-B-Toys, throw away the petroleum-based game pad, keep the fun dial and just start putting absurd “acting” choices based on what big ticket item you want to buy with the paycheck you’re going to get alongside winner ideas like THE ASTRO-NOT-GONNA-SEE-IT-ANYWAY FARMER? Is it really that simple to figure out the calculus of your methodical madness?

I think it is.

You see, when you open up into a movie like this, Bill is just trying to channel that R. Lee Ermey spirit in which no one, really, has ever been able to co-opt in a way that rivals the original. It’s almost painful to watch Thornton just play the part of the sadistic gym coach. He should have learned THAT role from the masterful artist who perfected that one, a man he just acted alongside in FARMER, Marshall Bell, when he donned that leather outfit in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2; scary shit all the way around, people.

Anyway, we get it. Thornton is a mean dude and Seann William Scott is the victim in this viscous circle only to, ta-da, be well-adjusted years later only to, ta-da, confront those same moments when we finds out, ta-da, Thornton is about to be his new step dad.

I wanted to try and actually find something amusing about how obnoxiously well-paid someone got for writing this pile of warm dung but it wasn’t until Billy Bob plundered the Matt Dillon funniness of THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY when he ranted about “retards” that really made me feel like high-fiving that blood rocking hipster. I mean I wish I could chose to do a flick where all I had to do was be an asshole and get paid for it but since I don’t have the ability to just call-in a few weeks of work, or be asked to participate in a scene where I get to beat Scott up with a bat and then give an off-the-wall, not to mention devoid of anything remotely amusing, answer as to why I did it, I just have to stand in awe of the man’s intelligence in figuring this whole game out.

Ethan Suplee, last seen rocking my face off in THE FOUNTAIN, Sean William Scott and Amy Poehler, a woman who was great in the Upright Citizens Brigade but lost some of that bite with SNL, all make great cases why they’re good to look at in a movie like this but I can’t find a single reason, apart from the treadmill gag, I preferred the hotness of that Gillette ad with the lady eating it or the Jackass crew setting the standard for anything involving pain and exercise equipment .

As it stands, this film doesn’t look like anything remotely resembling a comedy for me and I sure don’t want to assist Billy in financing that new yacht that, if WILD HOGS is any indication, the rest of you will.

DAY WATCH (2007)

Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Cast: Konstantin Khabensky, Vladimir Menshov, Valery Zolotukhin, Maria Poroshina, Galina Tunina, Victor Verzhbitsky, Dima Martynov
Release: June 1, 2007
Synopsis: Featuring the cinematic vision of cutting-edge Director/Writer Timur Bekmambetov, DAY WATCH (DNEVNOI DOZOR) is the next installment in the best-selling sci-fi novels of Sergei Lukyanenko. When the previous installment, NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR), was released in its native Russia in July 2004, it became an instant smash hit breaking all film gross records in post-Soviet history. A dazzling mix of state-of-the-art visual effects, amazing action sequences, and nail-biting horror set in contemporary Moscow, DAY WATCH (DNEVNOI DOZOR) revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness — the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides..

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Positive. Horses going through brick walls?

Hell yeah.

I am not really a fan of equines, I think they’re just big dogs that people with too much money think are great to keep as pets, but when used in the correct action sequences they are pretty to look at. INDIANA JONES, LORD OF THE RINGS, 300, the list could be populated with good uses of these Great Danes with hooves. The beginning of this trailer gets my attention, and throttles it for all its worth, for incorporating them into the bullshit story of the forces of light and dark and blah blah blah.

You can’t help but admire the composition of the snowy landscape as we all walk into this world without any real knowledge of what we’re looking at. The blizzard-like fury blowing against the lone Alamo evokes desolation but the voiceover that we’re privy to helps to bring us all up to the correct speed.

Regardless of what this story is really dealing with, I haven’t a clue who is the warrior of light or dark here and could really care less, it’s the Asian horse jockey who runs straight into the fortress armed with ninjas that really turn up the amplitude.

People getting knocked in the face, guys laying down their enemies with samurai swords in slow-mo, the all out battle royale that cumulates into the transition to contemporary Russia is rather smooth. I still don’t know what’s really what but it’s nice to look at.

Absurdity follows, in such a big way, when dudes are running through subway trains, faces are falling off, people are recoiling through doors after getting some shoe leather in their chest and then, without so much as an explanation, some bearded Viking guy shows up in full chain mail and starts whipping around a broad blade. What the fuck?

Now, about at this point we get that it’s all about some piece of white chalk. I don’t know what this chalk is supposed to do but, who cares, when you have guys leaping into mini-mall directories only to disappear and then emerge in basements. You’ve got guys walking through barren wastelands, you got a guy with glowing red eyes and enough special effects to make you wonder if this movie cost more than the GDP of the country that seems to enjoy killing its critics in the media.

I don’t care what your response is to this trailer but you have to, just have to, give it up to the effect and moment where the guy stops a bus with his body; the physics of it just seem perfect as does the wicked awesome power slide of the car that spins out on the vertical face of a building.

Превосходно!

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY (2007)

Director: Dennis Dugan
Cast:
Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Dan Aykroyd
Release: July 20, 2007
Synopsis: Adam Sandler (Click) and Kevin James (Hitch) team as two straight guys who stumble down the aisle with the best of intentions in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Chuck Levine (Sandler) and Larry Valentine (James) are the pride of their fire station: two guy’s guys always side-by-side and willing to do anything for each other. Salt-of-the-earth widower Larry wants just one thing: to protect his family. His buddy Chuck also wants one thing: to enjoy the single life. Grateful Chuck owes Larry for saving his life in a fire, and Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his own two kids as his life insurance beneficiaries. All that Chuck has to do is claim to be Larry’s domestic partner on some city forms. Easy. Nobody will ever know.

But when an overzealous, spot-checking bureaucrat becomes suspicious, the new couple’s arrangement becomes a citywide issue and goes from confidential to front-page news. Forced to improvise as love-struck newlyweds, Chuck and Larry must now fumble through a hilarious charade of domestic bliss under one roof. After surviving their mandatory honeymoon and dodging the threat of exposure, the well-intentioned con men discover that sticking together in your time of need is what truly makes a family.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. Here’s an actual novel idea: Why not create a movie that would deal with a gay man who actually has to act like a straight man and exist in a straight world?

You know, you could actually objectify straight men and the rampant homophobia and feelings about the gay community as one of their own tries to integrate himself for some flimsy reason? I would want to see that movie but, for some reason, I can’t imagine that a=]n hour and a half of homophobic jokes and set-ups could be worth any bit of my time.

I can’t help but feel insulted right off the bat by the overtly racist representation of an Asian by Rob Schneider. I know it’s a joke but why do we have to have the Charlie Chan wannabe as the officiant for the gay wedding between Sandler and James? I can’t explain it but it’s distracting to the point of bothersome.

At the point where the two are to kiss, and this of course being a comedy, we get Sandler smacking James because, you know, kissing him would probably be “faggy.” And, really, I would be fine with that. I don’t hold myself up as some moral authority but it’s just gauche in every way.

Also, when we establish that this marriage is a sham just to take advantage of the pension system of the city’s fire department it’s just insulting to reiterate the point, again, just in case the folks in Peoria didn’t catch it a few seconds prior. But this is par for this Frisbee golf course, I guess, when some representative of the city drops by to talk about their domestic partnership and causes James to completely and totally lose his shit while on a ladder and physically causes him to lose all motor functions, tumbling down to the ground, Griswold CHRISTMAS VACTION style. Slapstick this isn’t.

Oh, and then we get Jessica Biel. This marriage was supposed to be so important to these two idiots that the trailer has them thrown into a tizzy when we see her bend over to get a file, her butt on full display, and Sandler is barely able to contain his heterosexuality because, ya know, whenever hotness bends over you gots to lose all self-control, right?

What follows is a lot of nonsense. I guess it’s supposed to make me want to see the movie, you’ve got a kid who mispronounces “homosexual” (How cute!), James tangles with a perfectly wrapped love doll (Whoa! How amusing!), and then you have the real touching moment where things get serious when Sandler just can’t leave his libido at the door as he tries to sex up Biel (Oh noes! They’ll get caught!).

Not to worry, though, as things get oh so funny again as Sandler is so idiotic, can you believe this, that he mistakes James’ boxers for a pillow case! John Candy would be proud that you could recreate the fat man’s undergarments joke in such a new way.

But, the best part of this trailer? Jessica Biel in her B&P, all wet, mincing around and her big jigglies just begging to be squished and motor boated. I think I replayed this moment a few times to see Biel in what some heterosexual geeks would label all her QuickTime gloriousness.

The way this movie leaves me, though, with the faux fight between Sandler and James, which I take it is supposed to be a real fight but somehow their gay fakery bleeds into their trying to be straight but their fight sounds like a fight between two gay men which, I suppose, if you think about it, is supposed to be all sorts of funny n’ shit. It’s just a lame attempt at humor and it is just not amusing.

Biel’s boobs, though, are well worth waiting to look at.

HALLOWEEN (2007)

Director: Rob Zombie
Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, William Forsythe, Ken Foree, Danielle Harris, Adrienne Barbeau, Clint Howard, Courtney Gains, Daryl Sabara, Brad Dourif, Udo Kier, Kristina Klebel, Daeg Faerch, Pat Skipper, Dee Wallace Stone
Release: August 31, 2007
Synopsis: Rob Zombie’s vision of this film is an entirely new take on the legend and will satisfy fans of the classic “Halloween” legacy while beginning a new chapter in the Michael Myers saga. This new movie will not only appeal to horror fans, but to a wider movie-going audience as well. It will not be a copycat of any prior films in the “Halloween” franchise.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Think Of It As A Work In Progress.

Note Bene: For reasons that string back to the MPAA’s long arm of the not-so-lawful they have removed the trailer from Yahoo! Movies for its strong content. Even though the proverbial and perennial Internet has made every argument about a cat in a bag being let out moot, the link here goes to YouTube where you can still enjoy what Rob’s intended. However, one weird fact remains: if the MPAA gave the green rubber stamp at the beginning of this trailer, it obviously deemed it innocuous enough to only Green Band it and not slap it with a Red one, then what the f is the big mo-funkin’ deal? Talk about the movie CAPTIVITY all you like and their lame billboard campaign but that still doesn’t excuse one organization’s inability to properly manage itself, causing others to have to buckle at their whim. Lame asses.

I would posit that the reason why so many late 90’s horror movies failed to be perennial bellwethers, apart from the crap writing, the crap acting and the real crap directing, is the use of modern techniques and technology.

To illustrate the point you can go right ahead and take a look at films like FINAL DESTINATION or I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, even the sinisterly bad H20, and see the modernity of modern cinema making the environments look like contemporary movie sets, the players look like they’re fresh from the latest Abercrombie and Fitch ad campaign and, worst of all, no real dedication to enhancing the scare factor beyond just superficial thrills.

HOSTEL, SAW and those who have seen a huge resurgence in the last few years have done well because they’re everything that the former films were not: gritty, scary and there was a dependence on solid storytelling, the spooky/fireside kind of storytelling, that has elevated the genre. Rob Zombie’s entry, the man who surprised a lot of people with the DEVIL’S REJECTS, has an especially good flavor as you get settled into his interpretation of Myers’ world.

While I do appreciate the playful eeriness of having the MGM logo and Dimension Films logo all moldy green, having the trailer appear to look like some decaying home movie, I am not all that thrilled with the voiceover that seems like a lazy attempt to contextualize what we’re seeing instead of having the film do it on its own.

It’s disappointing as well because we’re given some really creative clips, again, the home movie motif, against the backdrop of Michael’s initial rampage. And the rampage! Homeboy is shown slyly taking out a big ass pig sticker and then moves on to the gunmetal Louisville. His sister doesn’t know what’s coming and I’m fairly surprised we’re shown as much as we are. Wicked awesome.

I didn’t know Michael had such a lovely long blonde mane but I do like the catch-it-or-miss-it superimpose of what will eventually be his trademark pale mask but the set-up is absolutely perfect. It’s in, out and on its way to something else.

Now, what’s confusing about what follows after this is that, save for the fact that I know the answer because I’ve been reading about it, as a casual viewer I’m not sure if this movie is supposed to be a retelling of the first movie or if this is a different story altogether.

It doesn’t help that Voiceover Guy is yapping in my ear as the quick clips that we’re given are about as discordant as you could get. Someone is getting chased down the street, Meyers is carrying some dead body like it’s a noble prize, some lass gets yanked out from the passenger side of a car, Myers peeps some unsuspecting, nude lady and, to end it all, I have to admit I liked the quiet moment that’s broken up by some screaming woman (what is it with our collective delight in killing the ladies?) who tries to get away from Michael only to be pulled back into the house, door slamming shut behind them.

Good start but there is real room for improvement with regard to enhancing the scare factor.

QSE News: 4/20/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:29 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAfter widespread internet rumors stated that Lawrence Fishburne would be the voice of Galactus in the upcoming Fantastic Four sequel, it has been revealed that Fishburne is actually voicing the herald of Galactus, the Silver Surfer.  Fishburne has said that he’s drawn on his many years of acting in finding the right voice for the Surfer, including spending a lot of time watching his past performance as Cowboy Curtis from Pee Wee’s Playhouse.
  • The former frontman for the band Right Said Fred, Richard Fairbrass, has set his sights on public service.  Fairbrass, best know for singing the cult hit “I’m Too Sexy” has announced his intentions to run for the Mayor of London.  Shortly after the announcement, Fairbrass’s opponents launched a negative ad campaign claiming that Fairbrass might in fact be too sexy for the office of Mayor.
  • Spider-Man is getting ready for his Broadway debut. Marvel Entertainment announced it is planning a new musical based on its popular character with music being provided by Bono and the Edge, of U2. Bono only agreed to write the music after Marvel allowed him to spend the first hour and a half of performance lecturing the crowd about global awareness.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/20/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:29 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • It’s all-bork-bork-bork Friday (thanks to one of our readers, Jesse L.), so let’s kick it off with the Swedish Chef’s donut recipe… (Thingamabob)
  • The Chef gets a visit from his uncle (Danny Kaye).. (Thingamabob)
  • And advertises his own brand of cereal… (Thingamabob)
  • Bet you didn’t know he had his own ringtones, too… (Thingamabob)
  • And we wrap it all up with a day in the life… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 19, 2007

Music For The Masses: 4/19/07 The Blast From The Past

Filed under: Columns,Music for the Masses — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:13 am

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Hey everybody! This week at Music for the Masses we are ramming our fist in and digging deep into an un-lubed vault to pull forth one of the legendary issues of this here column. “Legendary how?,” you ask. Why, because I say so, that’s why…and umm, because it was the issue from exactly a year ago and I just couldn’t get motivated to write about the new one from the Cowboy Junkies. Sorry. Life… what an unfair bitch, huh? Now, if you are a long-time reader, well, gee, it really sucks to be you this week because you’ve already read this and, I’m sure, laughed till you cried. However, if you are relatively new to our corner of the web, file this one under “New To You” and enjoy a time in this articles existence when I actually did multiple reviews all by myself with nary a Double A or J.D. in sight, opened with a mighty helping of non-musical bullshit, the site was named after a butthole and I had a weird infatuation with Clay Aiken…umm, don’t ask. So, without further ado and because I need to get back to watching Face Fucke…I mean, working, I present to you this little blast from past…

MUSIC FOR THE MASSES

April 19th, 2006

By M.C. Bell


Hello, friends. Glad you made it back, safe and sound. I have a question for all you out there: do you enjoy sleep as much as I do? If you’re anything like me, and we’ve already established you are, then the answer is “Damn straight, M.C. You bet we do!” And I gotta say, friends, I enjoy the hell out of sleeping but unfortunately, I had been having a little trouble lately falling to sleep on the spotty, old futon. Hell, even the old stand-bys like warm milk, sex, which I like to call “Dancing with the Jackson 5” and the last couple episodes of Lost couldn’t even put me to sleep. And believe you me, if the last couple episodes of Lost can’t knock you out, you know you’re in trouble. I was so desperate, in fact, that I turned to an amazing, little pill known for its dramatic effects. No, I’m not talking Viagara®, although, I will admit that a 4 hour erection gets to be a little tiring. I’m actually talking about Ambien®.

Have you heard about this stuff? If you haven’t, let me be the first to tell you that, holy crap, these pills REALLY work. Here’s the directions for usage, as I understand them: Take two pills, chase them with a fifth of Jack and wake up sometime next Tuesday. What’s that you say? Can’t afford to sleep for 6 days straight? No worries, because you see, that’s the best part. Apparently, while you are asleep, your interactions with the world never stop. Pretty cool, huh? Of course, you do need to be careful, because, as I have been made painfully aware, you can get yourself into all kinds of mischief.

For instance, it appears that while enjoying my Ambien slumber, I have become quite the internet shopper. My favorite item? Underwear. No big deal, right? In fact, when I awoke the first time and found 4 packs of Hanes skivvies on the counter, I was like, “Cool! New sausage covers!” You see, I really needed new underwear because most of my old ones looked like they hit a deer doing 60. But over time, I started buying. . .umm, “strange” underwear and then, one of my friends showed me this. . .

Apparently sometimes, when I’m asleep, I just want to feel pretty.

You know, it’s all fun and games until your friends show you a picture of yourself, with freshly shorn legs and your junk taped to your butt, dressed in Wonder Woman underwear, flexing in the middle of your tricked out bachelor pad. These are the things that make you say, “Whoa!” So, needless to say, I’ve cut back a bit on the Ambien consumption. Good thing, too. I was starting to have some pretty bizarre dreams. In fact, just the other night I was dreaming that I was eating tootsie rolls from a fancy hors de oeuvres tray and woke up hugging my cat’s litter box. You know, maybe I should stop taking this crap before I buy something really expensive or dream that I’m eating a hot fudge sundae and wake up with a spoon sticking out of my ass.

I bought this new video and some of her perfume, which smells like 4 day old ham and stale urine.

So, friends, if you know anybody who needs a crate of the new Mariah Carey perfume, which is called, provocatively enough “Crème Filled,” “The View” cookbook, tickets to Puppetry of the Penis or some velour sweatpants with “I Love Simon Cowell!” emblazoned across the ass, let me know. Or, hell, maybe I’ll just throw them back on eGay where I found them. Ba da bum!!

But enough about that. This week, we have some exciting new releases like the sequel to Operation Mindcrime from Queensryche, the new Flaming Lips, Blue October and Built To Spill. Plus, we get to hear what some readers are listening too. Pretty full plate, eh? So. . .what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we?

Artist: Queensryche
Album: Operation: Mindcrime II
Bastard Love Child of: Cool, old Queensryche and the newer, “suckier” version.
Best for: Making you realize two things about this band, a) Geoff Tate has “questionable” sexuality and b) the band’s best music is behind them.

Wow! Is that “Pleather?”

Ask any progressive metal fan and they’ll tell you that Operation: Mindcrime II is the coolest and most highly anticipated event of the year. However, what they won’t tell you about this new Queensryche release is that it is also, arguably, the coolest thing to happen to them in the last 18 years outside of the one time they “accidentally” saw their cousin’s tit while water-skiing. Seriously. You see, it has been 18 long, lonely, masturbation-filled years for Queensryche fans since they were first treated to Operation: Mindcrime.

Now, many of you out there are probably asking yourself “Why in the hell is this new release so exciting?” And the answer to that is simple, folks, but bear with me a sec. You see, first, I gotta tell you that Operation: Mindcrime is one, kick-ass album. And, for those of you who don’t know or have smoked WAY too much meth recently, Mindcrime is a progressive-metal concept album that tells the story of a government-trained killer, Nikki, who is set up for the murder of his girlfriend after refusing orders to kill her and is sent to prison to play butt-darts with his cell mate, Leon. Okay. . .maybe that last part is just “implied.” Regardless, the disc was a marvel of progressive musicianship and a monster hit for the band. Oh yeah, and it is, easily, one of the best concept albums ever produced.

So, needless to say, any fan would be excited by a continuation of this story. But in all actuality, Operation: Mindcrime 2 is exciting to progressive rock fans because after looking at the lead singer here. . .

many of us were just happy that the new album wasn’t a sequel to this. . .

Seriously… I’m convinced that we dodged a bullet here. That’s right, friends, luckily, Queensryche decided to ignore Geoff Tate’s proclivity for ass-less chaps and body glitter and decided to go back to what they do best as a band: angry, pissed-off concept albums. Operation: Mindcrime II fits that bill nicely and picks up the original’s story right where it leaves off. Our hero, Nikki, is still in prison and still scratching his head going “WTF?” However, as the album progresses, Nikki is released and we soon come to find out that there is going to be hell to pay. You see, apparently Nikki is a little peeved at a) being wrongfully imprisoned and b)having his asshole re-sized to accommodate an eggplant. Again, I’m pretty sure that last part was “implied.” And being a trained killer and all, Nikki has little trouble exacting revenge on his tormentors, with the exception of Leon, in a sufficiently bloody way.

All in all, I gotta tell you. . .the whole “Rock, Revenge, and Redemption” angle works really well here. It’s more than apparent that these guys desperately miss their original guitarist, Chris Degarmo, but overall, their sound is as loud, complex and entertaining as it has been in years. It is also nice to see the band move back to their progressive roots and riff-heavy music. Operation: Mindcrime II still captures the whole “musically adventurous rock opera” thing, but falls short of being as brilliant as its predecessor. Still, I gotta say that it manages to entertain both fans and non-fans alike.

Supposedly, one of the main selling points for old fans of the band is that Mary’s killer is finally revealed. But I gotta tell you… I’ve listened to this disc like 18 times, plus I read the lyrics, and I couldn’t tell you who the hell murdered the nappy whore. Maybe it was Dr. X in the Billiards Room with the Candlestick. Shit, I don’t know.

If you are an old fan of the band, I would definitely recommend buying the CD. . .of course, I’m sure that most of you already have. For you non-fans out there, do yourself a favor and pick up the original Operation: Mindcrime. It doesn’t get much better than that. Then, once you’ve been converted, come back to this new album and check out my personal favorites: “I’m American,” “The Hands,” “Re-Arrange You,” “The Chase” (which features guest vocals from Ronnie James Dio as Dr. X) and “Please Don’t Do Me In The Ass Again, Leon. . .I’m Sore.” Of course, that last song title, I believe, is mostly just “implied.”

Sir… I’m going to have to ask you to remove the ferret from your chest and slowly. . .slowly take your hand out of your pants.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Artist: Flaming Lips
Album:At War with the Mystics
Bastard Love Child of: The Velvet Underground and Syd Barret-era Pink Floyd.
Best for: Making Pink Floyd’s “Live at Pompeii” seem “not all that weird” and somewhat “entertaining.”

“I’m in the Flaming Lips band. My best friend is my right hand.”

You know, the first thing I think about when I hear the words “Flaming Lips” is “Good lord, woman… get yourself to a gynecologist, stat!” The second thing I think about is that I always wanted to be a free-lance gynecologist but, apparently, the great state of Colorado frowns upon somebody opening a clinic out of the back of a’72 Dodge Dart. Third, I think about Wayne Coyne’s bizarre-ass, little musical group from Oklahoma… where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plains.

Love them or hate them, you have to admit that the guys in the Flaming Lips, well, mostly Wayne, have created some of the most interesting, unusual and, more times than not, annoying music out there today. Originally formed in 1983, the FLips, as their equally freakish fans like to call them, have been cranking out art house, acid pop at a fairly prolific rate. Of course, this assumes that you consider Wayne Coyne’s attempts at directing an “orchestra” of 40 cars with synchronized tape decks as “music” (I shit you not. Try as I might, you just can’t make some of this stuff up).

Now, it is usually easy to dismiss a band like this (I’m looking at you, Coulier!), but what keeps the Flaming Lips interesting is that every once in a while, they hit one out of the park. Take their last album, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, for instance. That disc was actually a main-stream hit. In fact, it was the most success the band has had in almost 13 years (and no, I don’t count that appearance on Beverly Hills, 90120 as a measure of success. If it would have been Melrose Place… or Charles In Charge, maybe.)

 

Honestly? My money’s on the “guy in black” being the REALLY fucked up one.

So, needless to say, when I picked up the new disc, At War with the Mystics, I had no clue what to expect, aside from some freaky guitar work, and my expectations could not have been lower. And maybe that’s EXACTLY why I enjoyed this disc as much as I did.

Believe it or not, At War with the Mystics is actually a pretty straight forward, psychedelic rocker with only minimal, “spacey” interludes. I’m guessing that Wayne is finally taking his meds. Hooray, for Lithium!! Keep in mind, though, this is still a Flaming Lips disc. For instance, I did start to panic a bit when I heard the very first track, “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song” for the very first time. If you haven’t heard this song yet, think of the most annoying voice in the world, say Fran Drescher’s, and picture it saying “Jah, Jah, Jah,” over and over again. Yeah, exactly. I honestly thought the song was going to make me sterile. . .not sure how, but I SWEAR I could feel the little guys dying. . .and all I could think was, “Oh shit. Here we go.” But these moments are, thankfully, few and far between and don’t detract as much from the “actual” music as they did on either of their last two albums.

If you are unsure of whether or not this disc is for you, I would recommend that you dress up in your finest “Green Alien with Giant Yellow Nippples” costume and check out they very Floyd-esque tracks “The Sound of Failure” and “It Overtakes Me.” If you dig the sound of those two tracks, this disc is a safe and solid bet.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Bastard Love Child of: Peter Gabriel and Nickelback. . .that one’s for you, Chris!
Best for:Helping you understand that some artists do their best work while totally and completely bat-shit, insane.

I’m pretty sure they are yelling something about wearing eye shadow to the photo shoot.

Much like my friend, Justin, I’m sitting here in my dippity-do room at the hospital, typing on the old tuna. They tell me that I recently had some kind of psychotic break, triggered by repeated listenings of John Tesh’s new album Tunes From A Giant Forhead. But how can I argue? I love tacos. Talking to the doctor, the one who looks like Dick Cheney, I came to the realization that I can only, truly, find my happy Plah-doh© place if I’m listening to singers who dance like Peter Gabriel. Crazy, huh? Yep, peanut butter! Find me one of those floating in the sky and I’m going to be happier than Michael Jackson on a NAMBLA-sponsored camping trip. Ever hear John Cusack play his raincoat to Kate’s Bush, I mean, Kate Bush? Whatever, porkchop… I will not hurt the nice people. But Peter Gabriel’s music, to me, is about as good as talking envelopes get. Uh oh… here comes the orange nurse with sleep in her hand. What’s that hairy nurse? Time for my pills? But I’m talking to my friend’s right now and I don’ttttttttttttttttttttttttttt….

Okay… back now… for a bit. Now where was I? Oh yeah… Peter Gabriel. So, right about now you are probably saying to yourself, “Holy shit, that was weird” and “Hey, that’s great, but what exactly does Peter Gabriel have to do with the dude, up there in the picture, wearing the latest from Mabeline’s ‘Trashy Club Whore’ collection?”

Well, I’ll tell you. See, first, Justin Furstenfeld, that guy up there with a mild case of “gender confusion,” had a little problem with “reality” and was “committed” to an “insane” asylum. . .like me. Who knew they could commit you for putting too much male nudity up on the internet? Unlike me, he is the lead singer for a hot new group, Blue October, and the dude sounds EXACTLY like Peter Gabriel. And no, I’m not hallucinating again or throwing that comparison around lightly. And yes, I am lucid enough now to know that I’ve said that before, like with the group Elbow, but this time I mean it… kinda like when I tell the girls I date that I’m only going to put it in for a minute and then take it right back out (And, yes, they are having me work through those “lying” issues in therapy, too). I defy you to listen to this band for more than 30 seconds, any song, and tell me that Justin doesn’t sound like a Gabriel clone. And no, junior, I don’t mean that in a bad way.

This is Blue October’s new poster warning of the dangers of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

I mean it in an “Oh my God, that crazy SOB created an AMAZING disc” way. I’ve always said, when it comes to musicians, and on-line music reviewers, “the wackier the better.” And if Foiled represents the kind of material that you can come up with while swatting at imaginary bugs and watching Judge Judy between sponge baths, then I’m all for it. Hell, if this is the kind of output you can have when you’re nuts, I might extend my stay a bit. After all, I get three squares a day here, all the drugs I can take, a free drool-bib and a nice spot down by the duck pond for when I get “too excited.” I’ve even had time to create a list of singers and artists I feel should be committed, too. First up? Easy. Brittany “Baby, You Can Drive My Car” Spears.

You want crazy? This chick is crazy.

Bat-shit insane, “cuckoo for Coco Puffs,” Looney as a Tune… whatever… Blue October (consisting of lead vocalist Justin, three or four random voices in his head, violinist/keyboardist Ryan Delahoussaye, drummer Jeremy Furstenfeld, guitarist CB Hudson and bassist Matt Novesky) has crafted a virtually perfect album. Pretty lofty statement, huh? No, I’m still not hallucinating… although I feel the pills wearing off and no, I’m not joking. Foiled just surpassed Hotel Lights as my favorite to be released this year. Each and every song here is single-worthy, immediately recognizable, catchy, clever and most importantly, different in both tempo and mood. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m serious. It is truly phenomenal, with a little something for all the different voices in your head. I firmly believe that this is the album that will finally break this band… in a BIG way. You heard it hear first, pudding hand. Uh oh… fading fast… better wrap this up.

In addition to the first single, “Hate Me,” check out the pencil’s best songs, the melodic and moody “Into the Ocean” and the spank-tastic “X-Amount of Words.” You know, Timmy ate it, too, and he didn’t turn green so you should definitely know that its absolutely brilliant. Buy the whole disc and eat it on rye with a slice of pickle. That makes for one, delicious swimming pool!!!

Rating: 5 out 5

Artist: Built To Spill
Album: You In Reverse
Bastard Love Child of: Pavement and Neil Young
Best for:Making any yard, garden or record collection complete.

3 guys and their lawn gnome.

So, you probably don’t know this, (kudos if you do), but that guy in the picture above, Doug Martsch, wearing the hat with the “reservoir tip,” is an honest to goodness, alternative guitar god. Bet you’ve never heard that statement before, eh? Let’s see… counting all of the “alternative guitar gods”… you have… umm, well, Doug and… umm.. a nd J. Mascis from Dinosaur Jr. … and, well, that’s about it.

Here’s Doug showing his “cheeky” side during Lollapalooza.

Yep, without a doubt, Doug can play one mean guitar AND, apparently, grow one helluva beard. Together with an ever-rotating cast of supporting characters, Doug Martsch crafted numerous, outstanding, guitar-driven albums, like 1994’s There’s Nothing Wrong With Love, fan-favorite Perfect From Now On and the amazing Keep It Like a Secret, that helped make Built To Spill one of the biggest alternative acts of the ’90’s. Of course, tearing up the stages of Lollapalooza as one of the more consistent and entertaining acts didn’t hurt, either.

And then came their last disc, Ancient Melodies of the Future, a self-indulgent (even for these guys) and boring piece of crap that put a halt to the band’s stellar, indie track record. In fact, if there is ANYBODY out there thinking of buying this album, give me your $12 and, in return, I’ll kick you square in the nuts. Trust me. . .it will be a more enjoyable experience. Of course, if you don’t have nuts (i.e. ladies or married men), well… give me your $12 and I’ll just sucker punch you in the throat. Again… it will be a much more enjoyable experience.

In fact, I had all but forgotten this band until, during a random conversation, I was informed that Doug and the gang (no relation to Kool) were coming out with a new album. Needless to say, when I first heard this, I was a bit conflicted. At first, I was like “Sweet! Those guys used to rock.” But then I was like, “Ahh. . .damn! How am I going to kick myself in the nuts?” Luckily, I’m not going to have to figure out the logistics on how that would work.

Here’s Doug enjoying a smoke in his garden home.

Built To Spill’s new album, You In Reverse, is a winner. Straight up. The songs are still expansive and the guitars are still intricately tangled and fuzzy, but the Boise, Idaho based band has trimmed things up a bit. For starters, the songs are a tad shorter (with the exception of the opening track) and the “Bearded One” has somehow managed to replace his propensity for ripping killer guitar solos with a more restrained propensity for turning a catchy, lyrical phrase. Pretty slick. And I will readily admit, tightening things up works EXTREMELY well. However, you old school fans should be forewarned because it’s highly likely that the inclusion of the additional, and more subdued, vocals is going to piss you off. But then again, your propensity for not showering pisses ME off, so we’ll call it square, k?

The “other” thing I really like about this new album is how Martsch crafts the solos to not sound like filler… umm, even though they probably are… and the sound here, overall, is a lot less “jam band.” In particular, check out the concise guitar work in “Conventional Wisdom.” Good stuff! Other album highlights are the tracks “Liar,” the album closer “The Wait” and the Tex-Mex romp “Mess With Time.”

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… AGAIN.

So… last time out, I begged you fine folks to let me in on your secret, musical worlds and only a few of you actually responded. And to those of you who did? Thank you and know this… I am reserving a special place in heaven for you, as I do for all of my special helpers. Of course, it’s at the “kid’s table” with Jon Benet, but don’t worry… we’ll save you some potatoes.

For the rest of you, I am going to create “Hell on Earth” until you shoot me an email telling me which bands or songs make your naughty spot tingle. How am I going to do that? Simple. I am going to run a fresh, new picture of Clay Aiken each and every time until I am satisfied. Consider yourself warned. Oh, and enjoy the picture there of Clay having his prostrate milked.

Bet hey… how about some props for the foks that sent me the 411, ‘aight? For instance, I received this email from “A,” an actual, female reader. Seriously. You know, much like the Yeti or Bigfoot, I knew in my heart that female readers existed but I never had proof… until now…

“A” writes: “What I’m playing over and over and over and over… is the new Dresden Dolls, “Yes, Virginia.”

Outstanding, “A. I, too, enjoy the whole “German cabaret” alternative thing and I’m not even gay! Well, at least not since that one time in college, but I was really, really drunk and I barely enjoyed it.

I also received an email from one of the coolest readers I have, Josh Rothberg. Not only does Josh have impeccable taste, but he, apparently, has a set of the biggest balls I have never seen. Check out how he not only gives me his top shelf bands, but he also offers up, unsolicited, a list of guilty pleasures…

Here’s a list of bands and artists that grab me by the balls and squeeze ’em until I’m singing like Clay Aiken:

Wilco. System of a down. Audioslave. Kanye West. Weezer. The mutha-fing White Stripes. and, my all-time favorite band ever, The Beatles. old school, but still the shiznit.

As for my guilty pleasures: Rockwell “somebody’s watching me”, Alice Cooper “man behind the mask”, Limahl “neverending story”, Gerard McMann “Cry little sister”—Marilyn Manson’s got nothing on Gerard McMann, believe it!

You know, out of respect for Josh’s “largeness” and for him actually admitting to liking Rockwell… I will reserve further comment. I’m not even going to say anything about a white guy’s blatant use of the word “shiznet.”

And last, but surely not least… we have Slack Robert, from Canada. Of course, as many of you know from past experience with readers from Canada, I will have to slow down my typing now so that Robert can read along…

Right now, its Social Distortion’s Sex, Love and Rock and Roll…

What else is spanking my ass and calling me Suzie these days…? Hank III. Metric. Magneta Lane. Elliot Brood. The Populars. Broken Social Scene. Brian Setzer’s new one kicked me in the ass, drank my whiskey and left me for dead on the side of the road. The Swiftys. The Kills. The Inner City Surfers.

Wow, Robert. That’s an impressive list. Here’s how I read it:

BLAH BLAH Social Distortion’s Sex, Love and Rock and Roll BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Hank III BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Brian Setzer’s new oneBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

So, in regards to your list, Robert, I, too, really dig Social D, Hank III and Brian Setzer.! Just joking, man. Nice work. I honestly haven’t heard of a lot of those Canadian bands, but if you say they are winners, I will definitely check them out. After all, one of my favorite bands of all time hails from Canada… Rush, baby!! Yeah!!

Well, friends, I’m afraid that is going to wrap it up. Whew!! That was a long one, huh? Until next time, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

Send your herbal sleep remedies, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

See you next week, folks!

QSE News: 4/19/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:06 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgAmerican Idol judge Simon Cowell has come under fire for what many people are saying was a showing of disrespect towards the tragedy in Virginia.  While contestant Chris Richardson expressed his sorrow over the incident, Cowell was shown rolling his eyes.  Cowell claims that he was reacting to something else, and not the comments by Richardson.  Oddly enough, no one said anything when Cowell said of Sanjaya’s performance “Wow, you blew us away.  It was like snuck up behind us while we were watching the play Our American Cousin and shot us in the back of the head. What? Too soon?”
  • Actor Rip Torn has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence after he was involved in an accident in December.  Torn, who has been in such hit movies as the Men In Black films and Freddy Got Fingered, was required to pay $380 in fines and give up his license for 90 days.  Torn released a statement thanking the court for not sending him to prison where his name would have “become adjectives to describe his anus.”
  • Organizers of a cruise line that caters to gay and lesbian families has canceled a planned stop in Bermuda for fear of protests on the tropical island.  The cruise, which was founded by corpulent lesbian Rosie O’Donnell, will instead make stops in Florida and other islands.  Insiders are saying that the real reason residents of Bermuda are protesting is that they fear with O’Donnell’s expansive girth, she may in fact sink the island or eat a large part of the island’s population.
  • British pop-music import Lily Allen has cancelled her American tour, leaving only festivals on her tour schedule. Allen says the reason for the cancellations is due to her concern for putting on a good show. The fourteen people who bought tickets for her American shows will receive a full refund.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/19/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:53 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Yes, Studio 60 was just this pretentious and self-important… (Thingamabob)
  • A John Kerry interview from Talking Points Memo, with a fascinating look behind-the-scenes of The Colbert Report(Thingamabob)
  • Garfield in the Mark Evanier-penned “Mistakes Will Happen”… (Thingamabob)
  • Doesn’t this make you want to see Ratatouille even more?… (Thingamabob)
  • If you’ve never seen Spaced… Well, correct that gross oversight post haste… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 18, 2007

QSE News: 4/18/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:06 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgKirsten Dunst has gone on record saying that any Spider-Man film made without the involvement of director Sam Raimi, actor Toby Maguire, and herself would be a failure. The three, among a few others, have appeared in all 3 Spider-Man films, with the latest installment coming to theaters early next month. Dunst’s comments seem to have fallen on deaf ears as Sony Pictures is already planning a fourth Spidey film featuring a cast made up almost entirely of transgender Japanese gymnasts with Tourette’s Syndrome.
  • In related news, director Sam Raimi has hinted that he would be interested in directing a film version of The Hobbit.  Raimi would take over for Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson who, after a disagreement with New Line Cinema, left the project.  Of course, if this comes to fruition, one could only guess at how Bruce Campbell, the Necronomicon and Raimi’s piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] first car will factor into this Tolkien’s telling.
  • Protestors in India have begun burning effigies of Richard Gere after he kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on the cheek in public.  In the Hindu culture, public displays of affection are very taboo, and many people in the country have begun protesting both Gere and Shetty.  While many groups burned the effigies of Gere, at press time it was unclear if any innocent gerbils were burned in the protests.  PETA is currently investigating.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 17, 2007

QSE News: 4/17/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:30 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgJennifer Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony are suing the National Enquirer in several outside-U.S cities. Lopez and Anthony were reported in the paper as being involved in a heroin scandal. The suit will likely end quickly as there is no way Lopez is on heroin… coke maybe, but not heroin.
  • Lawrence Kasdan has been tapped to write the remake of the cult classic film Clash of the Titans.  Kasdan, who has written several films including Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark, will be taking over for Travis Beacham, who has written a draft of the film.  Kasdan plans to stick fairly close to the original, but does plan on putting in a scene where Zeus reveals to Perseus that he is his father, then Zeus proceeds to cut Perseus’s hand off.
  • Former Phish keyboardist Page McConnell will be releasing his first solo album today. The album, titled Page McConnell, will feature guest appearances from all of McConnell’s Phish band mates. The album is expected to be a hit among rich college kids who have rejected their parent’s capitalistic lifestyle… except when they need money for food, weed, gas or new sandals.
  • The divorce between Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora has been finalized. Court reporters noted that while the divorce still made headlines, a lot more people would care if it was still 1989.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/17/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:24 am

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

————————————————

  • Remember when Cracker Jacks had real prizes worth caring about in them? (Thingamabob)
  • Why can’t we have journalists like this in the US? (Thingamabob)
  • Go support Team Venture, why don’tcha? Go! (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 16, 2007

Comics in Context #173: Happy Heresies

Filed under: Columns,Comics in Context — admin @ 3:23 am

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cic2007-04-16.jpgLast week I wrote about Dave Cockrum and Marshall Rogers, both of whom recently passed away, and whose innovative work as comics artists in the 1970s had considerable impact on the superhero genre. But tastes shifted, and neither artist was considered “hot” in the last few decades. Will their reputations continue to fade? Are the people paying tribute to their work doing so merely out of nostalgia? Or, as time passes, bringing new perspectives, will their work prove to be enduring classics, that survive the shifting tides of fashion?

Recently I read online a 2004 piece by the essayist Paul Graham titled “What You Can’t Say“. He starts out by asking, “Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way you looked? Did we actually dress like that? We did. And we had no idea how silly we looked.” That’s because fashions change, and what seems stylish in one decade may well look ridiculous in the next. Graham moves from this example of fashion in clothing to the subject of “moral fashions” and fashions in ideas, which both can prove just as ephemeral and wrong. I find that I can apply much of what he says about shifting fashion to the world of the creative arts as well.

Graham contends that “In every period, people believed things that were just ridiculous, and believed them so strongly that you would have gotten in terrible trouble for saying otherwise.”

I saw a couple of comics pros at this year’s New York Comic-Con who were superstars a little over a decade ago. They would have been mobbed at a con in the 1990s, but at this 2007 con they attracted relatively little notice. They had proved to be no more than creatures of the popular fashions in comics of that time, and their work lacked the true artistry that would make it vital and relevant to a new century. Why, collecting multiple copies of their work back in the 1990s now seems ridiculous.

But, Graham warns, we must not assume that the present day is more enlightened than the past. “It would be a remarkable coincidence if ours were the first era to get everything just right.” Graham finds that “It’s tantalizing we believe things that people in the future will find ridiculous.” Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns are still popular twenty years after they were published, and it looks likely that they are becoming true classics. Which of the “hot” comics of 2007 will still matter in 2027?

Graham asserts that it is difficult to see beyond the conventional thinking of one’s own time, and identify which notions will prove in time to be transient fashions. “Indeed, the arrival of new fashions makes old fashions easy to see, because they seem so ridiculous by contrast.”

Graham is trying to identify ideas that may be unfashionable now, but which will eventually be accepted as truth. His first question, then, is “Do you have any opinions that you would be reluctant to express in front of a group of your peers?” He acknowledges, “OK, it may be heretical (or whatever modern equivalent), but might it also be true?”

I’ve got a splendid example, with which other Baby Boomers can identify. I kept on reading comic books after the age at which one was supposed to give them up. Not only did I like them, but by college I believed that in the hands of the better writers and artists they were vehicles for serious artistic expression. But the world at large did not agree, and I felt uncomfortable about reading comics in public places, or letting people know I read them.

Graham would sympathize, since he writes that “The most important thing is to be able to think what you want, not to say what you want. . . . . Inside your head, anything is allowed. . . .But, as in a secret society, nothing that happens within the building should be told to outsiders.” So I kept believing in the creative worth of comics, even if I felt I had to keep it to myself. While attending university in New York, I finally got to make friends who were comics pros or comics fans, and they became my “secret society.”

Once my classmates in graduate school and I were attending an end-of-term party at a professor’s house, and my friends decided to embarrass me by revealing my fascination with comics to the professor. Their prank backfired, because the professor turned out to have been a passionate comics fan when he was growing up, started reminiscing about the Sub-Mariner, and told me that as a boy he once owned a copy of Action Comics #1!

In retrospect I see this incident as a sign of things to come. It turned out that the “secret society” was far vaster than I imagined. The result is that now, in the 21st century, suddenly we’ve passed the tipping point, and people stopped keeping their appreciation of comics to themselves. For most of my life the conventional wisdom was that comics were junk for kids, and it was a “heresy” that comics could be taken seriously as art. Time is proving the “heresy” right.

Moreover, comics and their creators are following a path that other artforms and their creators have trod in the past. In the April, 2007 issue of Harper’s Magazine, British Shakespeare scholar Jonathan Bate writes an essay “The Mirror of Life.” He begins by relating that “. . .in the spring of 1616, [Francis] Beaumont and Shakespeare died within a few weeks of each other. Beaumont became the first dramatist to be honored with burial in the national shrine of Westminster Abbey. . . .Shakespeare was laid to rest in the provincial obscurity of his native Stratford-on-Avon. That same year , Ben Jonson became the first English dramatist to publish a collected edition of his own plays written for the public stage. He was much mocked for his presumption in doing so, especially under the title of Works, suggestive of an edition of a classical author such as Virgil or Horace” (Harper’s, April 2007, p. 37).

Here Bate reinforces two of the points I’ve been making here. First, he shows that at the time of their deaths, Beaumont, who often collaborated with John Fletcher, was considered a superior playwright to Shakespeare. But, of course, there is no Royal Beaumont and Fletcher Company nowadays; indeed, today only people who studied English Renaissance drama at university, like Mr. Bate and myself, have any idea who Beaumont and Fletcher were. “We now think of Shakespeare as a unique genius, the embodiment of the very idea of artistic genius,” Bate continues, “but in his own time, though widely admired, he was but one of as constellation of theatrical stars. How is it, then, that when we reach the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Shakespeare’s fame has outstripped that of all his peers?” (p. 37). Bate’s essay shows that as the centuries passed, Shakespeare’s work proved to transcend passing fashions. Although Shakespeare addressed the issues of his own time, his plays dealt with themes and personalities which remain vital and relevant to each succeeding generation. Once again, time proves to be the test of artistic merit.

Second, it continues to astonish me that in the early 17th century Ben Jonson was “much mocked for his presumption” in publishing a collection of his plays, thus treating them as works of literature like the ancient classics. Plays were popular culture, and it was a “heresy” at that time to think of them as high art. Hence it would have been as much a “heresy” in the early 1600s to consider Shakespeare’s plays to be art as it was in the late 1900s to declare that comics were an artform.

Here’s yet another example: recently I went to New York’s City Center to see the “Encores!” revival of Face the Music, a 1932 musical with songs by Irving Berlin and a book by Moss Hart. But Face the Music had not been performed for nearly seventy-five years, in part because neither a full copy of the score nor a definitive version of the book existed. Playwright David Ives explains in the program book that this show “bespeaks an era when there were 90 Broadway theaters, all hopping, and shows went up and down like billboards in Paramus. . . .When shows closed, books got tossed and musicians left their scores in the pit.” In other words, the pop culture of the time was taken for granted, and, Ives continues, “What this means is that nobody thought about preserving Face the Music for posterity.” But time has proved Hart and Berlin to be major figures of the history of the American theater, and so “Encores!” undertook a major research to reconstruct a performing edition of this “lost” show.

Bate asserts that it was the passionate advocacy of Shakespeare’s works by subsequent writers and actors, like John Milton and David Garrick, that caused his reputation to climb with the succeeding centuries. Bate also points out that the publication of the “folio” editions of Shakespeare’s plays further extended his influence by making his work more accessible.

How does this relate to the world of comics? For one thing, the 21st century has brought explosive growth in reprint editions of classic works of the past. Now, rather than poring through back issue bins and sending a fortune, a newcomer to comics can easily, inexpensively acquire copies of the classic work of the past, including Marshall Rogers’ Batman and Dave Cockrum’s X-Men. It would have been “heretical” to carry comic books in public libraries only a decade ago, but now you can even read these classics for free in a well-stocked graphic novel section of a neighborhood library. This will bring about a major change in the comics readership. Older work and its creators will be less likely to fall into obscurity; readers will be able to judge contemporary comics in the context of the medium’s classics.

Further, I believe it is the duty of a critic to separate the wheat from the ephemeral chaff, to identify work of lasting artistic value and praise its creators, whether it–and they–are popular today or not. Graham declares that, “To see fashion in your own time, though, requires a conscious effort. Without time to give you distance, you have to create distance yourself. Instead of being part of the mob, stand as far away from it as you can and watch what it’s doing. And pay especially close attention whenever an idea is being suppressed.” Or when a major creator is undeservedly ignored.

So what if much of today’s audience–and today’s comics editors and publishers–don’t sufficiently appreciate the work of Dave Cockrum and Marshall Rogers? My considered opinion is that Cockrum’s and Rogers’ work will be rediscovered by the comics scholars and connoisseurs of the future, and that they will be remembered and their work appreciated long after the taste of many of today’s “flavors of the month” have faded away. Time will tell.

Another way to examine the careers of Cockrum and Rogers is to consider how much they changed the field in which they chose to work. As I wrote last week, according to inker Terry Austin, the powers at DC Comics originally castigated Rogers’ artwork until he made his enormous impact with fandom on his mid-1970s Batman stories with Englehart. Around that same time, according to DC president Paul Levitz on a panel at the New York Comic-Con, Cockrum, serving his muse, was putting far more creative effort into his artwork than various veteran artists. On the same panel Cockrum’s X-Men collaborator Chris Claremont pointed out that before Cockrum, superhero artists did not pay attention to costuming characters in such a way as to express their individual personalities. To use Graham’s term, Rogers and Cockrum were innovators whose “heresies” eventually won recognition and acclaim from both the critics and the audience of the superhero genre.

In fact, their impact has extended beyond comics onto television and film: Cockrum’s co-creations Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm, and Mystique have all appeared in the X-Men movies and animated TV series, and Rogers’ 1970s collaboration with Steve Englehart on Batman paved the way for the serious treatment of the character in the 1990s animated TV series and the live action Batman films from 1980 onward. I was amazed and gratified to see that Time magazine not only gave Rogers an obituary, but ran a considerable sampling of his Batman artwork.

Cockrum and Rogers thus each had visible impact on American popular culture. I was thinking of them recently while watching three animated films, which share a common theme: how a creative figure, whose efforts at first meet with disdain and rejection, can ultimately change the world.

Warner Home Video has just released on DVD director George Miller’s computer-animated Happy Feet, which won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature earlier this year. Someone at Warner Home Video had the inspired idea of including a classic Warner Brothers cartoon on a similar theme as a special feature on the DVD. This is the 1936 hand-drawn animated short I Love to Singa, directed by the great Tex Avery (see “Comics in Context” #100-101), with Chuck Jones credited as one of its animators.

Long, long ago in the dim, dark days before home video, film reviewer and animation historian Leonard Maltin, aided and abetted by future “Cartoon Brew”-master Jerry Beck, used to teach a course on animation at the New School in Greenwich Village. Though nominally a course, there were no examinations or term papers. Basically, people such as myself and a number of my friends would pay a reasonable fee to attend eight weekly sessions in which Maltin would show us classic Hollywood cartoons, many of which we could not otherwise see, or at least not until Greg Ford’s “Cartoonal Knowledge” festival came around again in the summer at the Thalia (the legendary revival theater on the Upper West Side). Actually, Maltin’s most popular session each semester was “Sex, Violence and Racism” night, in which he’d show cartoons that still don’t make it onto official home videos (such as Bob Clampett’s infamous 1943 Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs). Maltin served less as an academic than as a well-informed master of ceremonies, introducing and giving the background for each of the well-chosen animated gems on the evening’s program. (Then one semester the course was abruptly canceled at the last minute; Maltin had abandoned us for the siren song of Hollywood to appear regularly on Entertainment Tonight.)

Anyway, I recall that Maltin was bewildered by his audience’s–uh, I mean, students’–fervent love for I Love to Singa, a cartoon that he didn’t consider to be particularly special. But I believe I understand the reasons for it, and it’s interesting that this cartoon still produces such a strong response, since it is so heavily indebted to the fashions of its own time.

First, I Love to Singa is a parody of Warner Brothers’ first “talkie,” the groundbreaking 1927 film The Jazz Singer, starring Al Jolson. The young owl who is the cartoon’s protagonist is even named “Owl Jolson.” Made nine years before, The Jazz Singer would still be remembered by adult audiences of 1936; this is even evidence that Warners–or at least Avery–was aiming cartoons at adult viewers as well as children. Jolson was still popular at the time, and it turns out that the song “I Love to Singa,” around which the cartoon was created, was written by Harold Arlen and E. Y. “Yip” Harburg (the composer and lyricist for MGM’s The Wizard of Oz!), for Jolson and others to perform in a live action movie of that same year, The Singing Kid.

In The Jazz Singer the protagonist Jakie is the son of a cantor at a Manhattan synagogue. When thirteen-year-old Jakie starts singing jazz songs in public, his father is enraged, saying, “I’ll teach him better than to debase the voice God gave him!” Jakie’s mother protests, “But Papa–our boy, he does not think like we do.” Papa is not convinced and actually beats Jakie, who leaves home, and grows up to become a professional jazz singer, now known as Jack, played by Jolson.

Avery’s I Love to Singa omits explicit references to The Jazz Singer‘s central characters’ ethnicity, although the European accent that voice actor Billy Bletcher gave Papa Owl may be a hint. But notice how that quotation from the father in Jazz Singer relates to Graham’s reference to new ideas as “heresies.” The father in Jazz Singer fairly clearly condemns Jakie’s enthusiasm for this newfangled jazz music as sinful, in defiance of God’s will. The mother, on the other hand, seems to realize that Jakie’s “heretical” thinking is merely a result of his belonging to a different generation, that “does not think like we do.”

I Love to Singa doesn’t use the religious analogy, and doesn’t emphasize the generation gap either. In the opening of the cartoon Papa and Mama Owl’s eggs hatch, and the first three young owls emerge singing or playing classical music, of which Papa, a music teacher, approves. The fourth egg hatches to produce our hero, Owl Jolson, who launches into the title song. Infuriated, denouncing his son as a “jazz singer” (just as the father does in the Jolson movie), Papa Owl throws young Owl out of his home.

Since the other three young owls all share Papa’s taste in music, the cartoon isn’t necessarily pointing to a generational difference as the problem. Instead, Owl is presented as the advocate and practitioner of a kind of music that is new, untraditional, and even innovative in this time period. And at the start of the cartoon this makes him a solitary outcast.

Then Owl enters an amateur talent competition on a radio show presided over by host and judge “Jack Bunny,” a rabbit. Here again Avery is satirizing popular culture of that particular time. “Jack Bunny’s” name is an obvious reference to radio comedian Jack Benny, whom the Warners animation seemed to love (as most clearly demonstrated by the real Benny’s appearance in Robert McKimson’s 1959 cartoon The Mouse That Jack Built). But the amateur competition, this rabbit’s sour demeanor, and his rapid dismissal of blatantly incompetent contestants all suggest Avery is really parodying Major Bowes’ Amateur Hour, which is referenced in the title song’s lyrics, and was a Depression-era counterpart to today’s American Idol.

Young Owl performs on the show and is an instant sensation. Hence, this cartoon is also about the difference between high culture, represented by Papa Owl and his classical music-playing offspring, and popular culture, represented by the jazz singing Owl. Young Owl is the creative artist whose new style of work is considered “heretical” by the cultural establishment, and who seems isolated at first, but who eventually finds a wide audience among the general public.

Walt Disney addressed the same topic in his “Silly Symphony” cartoon Music Land (see “Comics in Context” #136), which had come out the year before Avery’s cartoon. But Music Land , I Love to Singa, and The Jazz Singer each resolve the conflict between the old and the new differently.

At the climax of The Jazz Singer, Jack has to decide between starring in a Broadway musical on opening night, or substituting as cantor for his dying father. Despite being warned that if he skips opening night, his career in show business will be ruined, Jack becomes the substitute cantor. The film’s coda reveals that Jack became a successful “jazz singer” anyway. But The Jazz Singer ultimately is a variation on the tale of the Prodigal Son, and in the moment of crisis he chooses the old over the new.

Music Land takes Romeo and Juliet as its basis, instead, and gives it a happy ending. The literal war between the rival kingdoms of music is resolved through the marriage of the prince of jazz to the princess of classical music. High culture and pop culture thus coexist peaceably as equals.

In I Love to Singa Papa Owl and the rest of the family hear young Owl singing on the radio and rush to Jack Bunny’s studio. Upon seeing them, Owl unhappily shifts into a dreary rendition of “Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes,” but Papa Owl and the family encourage him to continue singing his jazz tune instead. Now it seems that Papa’s change of heart came about not because he suddenly learned to appreciate jazz, but because his son is on the verge of winning a trophy, presumably representing fame and fortune. Owl goes back to singing “I Love to Singa,” Mr. Bunny presents him with the winner’s trophy, and the cartoon ends with the entire Owl family singing and even dancing along with the prize-winning son.

In other words, I Love To Singa concludes with complete victory for Owl Jolson, the lone, pioneering creative artist who has remade his world: he was once an outcast, but by the cartoon’s end, everyone is literally dancing to his tune.

The topical references in the cartoon–to Al Jolson, The Jazz Singer, Jack Benny, and Major Bowes, and Papa’s mention of violinist Jascha Heifitz–have all dated, and it is questionable how much they mean, if anything, to contemporary audiences. But the thematic heart of this cartoon enables it to transcend its own time, and to appeal to audiences who were born long after it was made.

Happy Feet likewise centers on a clash between two schools of art, with a lone innovator who is initially shunned by the cultural establishment. I’m lucky that I saw the 2005 documentary March of the Penguins first, since Happy Feet based its fantastical story on actual facts about the habits of Emperor penguins. For example, in real life penguins recognize each other by each bird’s distinctively individual cry. Happy Feet turns this into the notion that each penguin, chick or adult, has his or her own “heartsong,” which expresses his or her personality. So each penguin is effectively a creative artist, devising a song which is his or her means of self-expression.

The movie’s protagonist Mumble, however, is a dreadful singer, and expresses himself instead through tap dancing. Mumble has invented dancing (as far as his community is concerned), and the rest of the Emperor penguins, including his own father, Memphis, are horrified and repulsed by it. Their religious leader, a penguin called Noah, condemns Mumble’s dancing as sinful. This may well be a reference to the 1984 movie Footloose, with its minister villain who condemned dancing, but it also echoes The Jazz Singer and ties in to Graham’s comparison of the unpopular, innovative idea to heresy. (I find it interesting that the reviews I’ve read of Happy Feet all miss the fact that every religious opinion expressed by the penguins in the film is obviously false: a penguin enclosure at a zoo is nor “penguin heaven,” the oracle Lovelace is an impostor, and so forth. Is this the first animated family film that presets religion as a delusion?)

Perhaps even worse, Mumble’s father and the penguin community attribute Mumble’s dancing to the fact that Memphis dropped Mumble’s egg before it hatched. Hence, the penguin community regard Mumble’s new art form, dancing, as the result of alleged brain damage! Creative artists with new ideas may be called crazy, but the penguins go further, thinking of Mumble as effectively retarded!

And so Mumble becomes the artist as outcast. But over the course of the movie he gains more acceptance, first from a band of Adelie penguins, a different species, who speak with Latino accents. This put me in mind of Disney’s Dumbo (1941), about another shunned misfit, who is considered a freak, the title character, a baby elephant with enormous ears: his talent for flying is encouraged by a group of crows with African-American voices. In both cases, members of a different ethnic community are portrayed as more open to new ideas than the establishment of the protagonist’s own community. In Dumbo‘s case the crows clearly respond through sympathy with a fellow outcast. On the other hand, Happy Feet never makes clear why the Adelie penguins, “The Amigos,” whose species has its own community, don’t share the Emperor’s apparently innate revulsion towards Mumble’s dancing. Later in the film younger penguins, of Mumble’s own generation, start admiring his dancing, while Noah and the elders still condemn it. So why did the younger penguins, who hadn’t liked the dancing earlier in the film, change their minds?

By the end of the film (and at this point I issue a spoiler warning for those who haven’t seen it), dancing has become necessary for the penguins’ survival. The movie establishes that the penguins are suffering from a shortage of food, caused by fishing by humans. Investigating, Mumble is captured and placed on exhibit at a zoo, where he won the interest and hearts of humans through his tap dancing. Released back into the Antarctic wild, Mumble induces the whole Emperor penguin community to dance in front of what they consider the “alien” invaders–human scientists. The world of humans is so impressed by the penguins’ dancing, which presumably indicates they aren’t just dumb birds, that the United Nations takes steps to ensure their survival.

The internal logic of Happy Feet‘s story has sizable holes. In any animated film with talking animals, we have to accept the notion that animals have human-level intelligence and their own language, which we moviegoers hear as English even if the humans in the film can’t understand it. (A scene in the zoo makes clear that humans can’t understand the penguin language, and hear it only as squawking.) Until the end of Happy Feet most of the penguins have never seen human beings; there are a few who have encountered them and consider humans to be aliens from another world. So if the penguins are supposed to be ignorant of human society, why do the moviemakers give them such famous songs to sing, even “Heartbreak Hotel” and “My Way”? Not only is Mumble’s father voiced by Hugh Jackman as an Elvis Presley soundalike, but he’s named Memphis, as if the penguins, isolated in Antarctica, would have known about either Memphis, Tennessee or Memphis, Egypt! All of this is asking for a lot more suspension of disbelief than I’m used to giving.

As for the movie’s climax, why is dancing necessary to save the penguins? Even if the humans can’t understand penguin language, if they heard them singing, couldn’t the humans tell that they were making music? And wouldn’t the humans recognize the melodies of, say, the songs by Prince that the filmmakers give the penguins?

But, once again, the main thrust of the movie’s story is the innovative creative artist’s journey from lone outcast to widely recognized success, remaking the culture in the process. Owl Jolson set his entire family dancing to his tune at the end of I Love to Singa and became a success on local radio. Mumble goes much further, getting his entire community to dance along with him, playing to a worldwide audience, and altering the history of his community for the better. Mumble is the artist as savior, literally bringing a new lease on life to his culture. His “heretical” art supplants his culture’s old religion.

Happy Feet encountered considerable controversy since it employed “motion capture” technology, comparable to that used in The Polar Express (see “Comics in Context” #66) and the new King Kong (See “Comics in Context” #121) with live human dancers in creating the penguins’ dance movements. I don’t have the expertise to judge how much of the characters’ movements in Happy Feet may have been taken directly from motion capture and how much were the result of conventional computer animation. But penguins aren’t built like people, so I should think that animators had to do considerable modification of the motion capture data to make it look right for penguins.

Now that I’ve finally seen Happy Feet, it’s not surprising to me that it won the Academy Award, considering the joyousness of its musical sequences, the sheer visual spectacle of its Antarctic landscapes, and a theme that Hollywood, filled with creative artists who went there seeking success, would identify with. By the same logic, they would be less likely to identify with Pixar’s Cars (see “Comics in Context” #137-138), which was about getting out of the rat race (or auto race) to success, and learning to value life’s other virtues. But I still think that Cars was a more profound and affecting movie, and should have won.

The latest Disney animated feature, Meet the Robinsons, has a young protagonist whose talents lies in science and invention, not in singing or dancing. Yet it too follows the same basic theme as I Love to Singa and Happy Feet, as we shall see next week.

ADVERTISEMENTS FOR SOMEONE ELSE

Instead of plugging myself this week, I wish to turn readers’ attention to one of my fellow Quick Stop columnists’ latest episode of The Fred Hembeck Show. Discover how Fred, the herald of SpongeBob SquarePants was finally rewarded for his faith by a phone call from Tom Kenny, the mortal incarnation–and voice–of the Absorbent One!

Here’s a real life equivalent of the same pattern followed by Owl Jolson and Mumble. Fred was far ahead of many of us in preaching the virtues of SpongeBob, and now, as he points out in his column, the rest of the world has caught up with him!

I also want to compliment Fred on the brand new cartoons he has been doing lately for his Quick Stop column. And there are only two weeks to go until The Fred Hembeck Show hits its hundredth anniversary!

Copyright 2007 Peter Sanderson

QSE News: 4/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:48 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe man that gave the world the smash hit “Tiny Bubbles” has passed away. Singer Don Ho died from heart failure. QSE News would only like to say the following about this tragic event – Haladelekamakah was the thing to say, when Don Ho died on Saturday.
  • Actor Shia LaBeouf has been cast in the next installment of the successful Indiana Jones films. Although his participation has been confirmed, it is not yet known what role he will be playing. Insiders speculate the LaBeouf will play some whiney, smart-alecky, aloof kid that hangs around Indiana Jones the whole move and occasionally screams for help.
  • In other casting news, actress Christina Ricci has joined the cast of the upcoming film adaptation of the cartoon Speed Racer.  Hot off her role in Black Snake Moan, Ricci will be playing the role of “the car” and many Ricci fans are excited to see Speed climb on board and drive her hard, fast and with little regard for it… we mean her, safety.
  • In one final bit of casting news, Edward Norton will be replacing Eric Bana in the role of Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk.  Producers hope that Norton will bring a bit of credibility to a movie about a “big green guy that talks like a retard and smashes stuff for an hour and a half.”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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April 15, 2007

Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/16/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 11:59 pm

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The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Go support Team Venture, why don’tcha? (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 13, 2007

Trailer Park: Just Spit It Out

Filed under: Columns,Trailer Park — admin @ 2:43 am

By Christopher Stipp

Archives? Right Here…

I still can’t get over Danny Glover’s mumble-mouthed performance in THE SHOOTER.

I mean, really, didn’t anyone feel like the Miracle Ear lady when they leaned over to their significant other in asking, “What the hell did he just say?” It really did seem like Danny poured a whole Val-U pack of rainbow Skittles into his mouth just prior to shooting any scene he was in.

And no one is saying, or reporting, on what has to be the worst case of annunciation ever captured on screen; for all I know, SHOOTER was actually some kind of training film for those afflicted with fricative or glottal issues in their throat. From the near spittle that was just yearning to be let loose on the faces Danny was aimed at to the saliva you were just hoping he would swallow, like he was keeping it in his mouth for as long as he could as a bet, there is no denying that this linguistic problem came and went without so much as a peep from anyone else.

It’s also not like I have an issue with those who have to try a little harder with getting their words out properly and clearly. I still am a big fan of Ed Begley Jr’s work as Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development and who would argue with the tonal delight in listening to Wallace Shawn in THE PRINCESS BRIDE as he debates a debate, or as his turn as a goofy dinosaur in TOY STORY, but, really, when you have to compare Sergeant Murtaugh to that chick wearing braces in 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN right before she goes down on Steve Carell there’s a problem.

Someone should have waited until Glover was finished with his Invisalign treatment. I really appreciated Marky Mark’s turn as G.I. Joe action hero like everyone else but, really, if I can have one wish for the DVD it would be for Danny’s lines to be accompanied with subtitles.

SUNSHINE (2007)

Director: Danny Boyle
Cast:
Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Chris Evans, Troy Garity, Cillian Murphy, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benedict Wong, Michelle Yeoh
Release: September 14, 2007
Synopsis:
Fifty years from now, the sun is dying, and mankind is dying with it. Our last hope: a spaceship and a crew of eight men and women. They carry a device which will breathe new life into the star. But deep into their voyage, out of radio contact with Earth, their mission is starting to unravel. There is an accident, a fatal mistake, and a distress beacon from a spaceship that disappeared seven years earlier. Soon the crew is fighting not only for their lives, but their sanity.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. You just cannot go awry when you use that signature Clint Mansell ditty.

I wasn’t so sure of what to expect out of Cillian Murphy when I saw his deflated member, the junk just exposed to the elements like an abandoned outhouse, in 28 DAYS LATER but the kid displayed the kind of range you need in a zombie movie, a skill that did not go unnoticed to Christopher Nolan who thought he would be perfect as the Scarecrow in BATMAN BEGINS. The guy is a silent killer on the screen. Even Chris Evans, who could have easily vaporized in the ether of teenage fare, a la Freddie Prinze Jr., but who is battling against his type; it’s impressive. Even I wasn’t that impressed with his early work but if there was one thing you could take away from THE FANTASTIC FOUR was how well he played off what he was given. That’s what’s so bold about the choice in minimizing everyone’s presence in this trailer.

It’s not so much odd as it is a pleasant change from what should have been the obvious way to market this movie right out of the gate. I assume as we get closer we will see a return to form, we’ll get more exposition and a more focused demographic pitch, but this is a curious example of what can be possible when you lean on the soundtrack to help out what’s on the screen.

We get a static shot of the sun, this orb of burning yellow gas the only thing we have to focus on, and, behind this, Cillian’s voiceover that just lays out everything about this movie. Everything. He states his name, how many people are going to help reignite the sun (with no regard to explaining to you how this all came to be), what his mission is and all the while we watch ourselves get closer and closer to the sun. There’s something innately intimate in all of this.

The spaceship they’re riding in is spectacularly rendered against the sun’s majestic presence on the screen. I can’t speak for anyone else but it seems imposing, claustrophobic almost, when you’re given some silence to soak in the premise of what these people are about to do.

And that’s when the music kicks in.

Boyle’s credit for helming TRAINSPOTTING and 28 DAYS LATER is well warranted here and it’s diminutive font and script isn’t imposing or pushy.

Flash to the crew who are plotting their course along with some strange stop-motion, bullet time, clips that tease just enough without being too confusing. Again, the sun’s largess is visually communicated very well to the point that when shit goes south, it’s ability to the one of the most heinous villains without so much as having a personality is what stays with you. Boyle had to create absolute destruction but also had to make the experience relevant to those of us watching it. When paint is bubbling, people are drowning, when fireballs are shooting off, and Clint’s score is reaching its zenith, you can’t help but be completely stoked in at least being curious to know what the hell is happening to these people. Yeah, and the person slamming their body against what looks like an airlock, Evans crying like a puss and the people sliding down a vertical cube?

Absolutely Riveting. And not one word spoken in between Cillian’s voice over.

RATATOUILLE (2007)

Director: Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava
Release: June 29, 2007
Synopsis: In the new animated-adventure, RATATOUILLE, a rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family’s wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession. When fate places Remy in the sewers of Paris, he finds himself ideally situated beneath a restaurant made famous by his culinary hero, Auguste Gusteau. Despite the apparent dangers of being an unlikely – and certainly unwanted – visitor in the kitchen of a fine French restaurant, Remy’s passion for cooking soon sets into motion a hilarious and exciting rat race that turns the culinary world of Paris upside down.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Negative. Anyone who puts CARS in their top three Pixar films of all time is either a liar or works as the Attorney General for President Bush. Take your pick.

The movie suffered from not only some pacing problems but the content itself was a little divergent, I would posit, from what kids could grasp onto and infuse with their own experiences. TOY STORY, MONSTERS INC., THE INCREDIBLES, all of these kid-relatable, garnered so much market share because it really embraced a wide spectrum. CARS not only boosted their look from an old cartoon that ran decades ago but the story wasn’t as kid friendly as Pixar’s other forays into animation. And that’s why HAPPY FEET sadly thrashed its ass at the Academy Awards.

With RATATOUILLE, though, I am a little torn because there are some of the same kind of non-kid elements that may have some resonance with adults but, as the trailer opens, when you have Parisian accordions playing, the Eiffel Tower clearly on display, and some wag wheeling out the cheese cart, and explaining various varieties of fromage, I’m not sure you’re hooking the kids who need to show up in order to make this a mega hit.

It’s damn near a third of the way into this thing before you get some of the slapstickiness kids gravitate toward like teen boys do to boobs. A third of the way is simply unacceptable if anyone at Pixar with half a working knowledge of children’s attention spans is behind this trailer.

But, for argument’s sake, let’s assume that this was someone’s grand design. That the first third is for adults and that the other two are really the ones that are going to hook the kids; everyone loves Tom and Jerry, right? And who the hell wouldn’t mind seeing Mickey get his in a restaurant?

Well, it really doesn’t get better.

You get the rat trying to steal away with the cheese and then we transition to a freeze-frame. Patton Oswalt announces his position as the titular rodent and when we come out of the moment we’re in the sewer getting a feel for what seems to be the pitch that greenlit this production.

Apart from the stark realization that we’re not being whisked to a different place in our collective mind’s eyes, it feels like an extended sidekick edition of King of Queens, I can’t say where the brilliance is or what’s the big fucking deal. First of all, Patton doesn’t fit. I like his work as a comedian but it’s jarring to witness. Secondly, you’ve got a rat talking about eating food. There’s no hook to be seen, no obvious angle that has been taken. Thirdly, when you look at this trailer you can’t help but feel an impending sense that if you are of the belief that there are no more original ideas in the world this just cements the idea.

There is one good thing, though, that comes out of the trailer that I feel deserves a mention:

Patton’s brother, friend, acquaintance, whoever, and gets a moment to talk. The bit about being able to suppress one’s gag reflex if you’re eating garbage and that a whole new world of food possibilities opens up as a result? Funny. About the only thing that was in this preview.

NEXT (2007)

Director: Lee Tamahori
Cast:
Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel, Thomas Kretschmann, Tory Kittles, Peter Falk
Release: April 27, 2007
Synopsis: Las Vegas showroom magician Cris Johnson has a secret which is a gift and a curse which torments him: he can see a few minutes into the future. Sick of the examinations he underwent as a child and the interest of the government and medical establishment in his power, he lies low under an assumed name in Vegas, performing cheap tricks and living off small-time gambling “winnings.” But when a terrorist group threatens to detonate a nuclear device in Los Angeles, government agent Callie Ferris must use all her wiles to capture Cris and convince him to help her stop the cataclysm.

View Trailer:
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Prognosis: Negative. This is just bad; there isn’t any other way to describe it, I do apologize.

If I could put it another way it’s like seeing someone try their hardest in the Special Olympics knowing full well that no matter how much effort they’re putting into running the 50 meter dash in less than five minutes there just isn’t anything in their biological potential that could take on a true athlete”¦or a 3rd grader.

Nic Cage is that Special Olympian.

He so much wants to be an action star but that bean pole frame of his and that hairline, which is threatening to recede like an Ethiopian lake to the back of his skull, is going to prevent him from being perceived as an action hero. I could be slightly remiss in dismissing the man’s competency, and the opening sequences, cribbing from CLOCKWORK ORANGE and the nuclear “˜asplosion sequence from T-2, kind of give me the inflated hope that will quickly be popped like a pinpricked, swollen testicle sack.

Julianne Moore slides in to ask what evil portent Nic is able to see, I guess he has some ability to foresee the future, whoa, but Nic musters his best Action Hero ® voice in saying some bullshit about, “Blah, blah, blah, you can’t stop my hotness, blah, blah, blah.” I don’t know, you don’t know, no one does, about what’s happening in these first few moments. It’s disjointed.

In what has to be the most unoriginal plot in the history of fast-paced thrillers we’re treated to a long, lame, lackluster and limp sequence in which we’re explained to, again, like we’re 2nd graders on a field trip to the Hostess factory to see how bread is made, that Nic is able to see into the future but, gasp!, he can manipulate the present.

Fast forward to a rather uninspired directorial moment between Nic and his newest hotness, Jessica Biel, wherein we hear, again, about the man’s powers to portend what’s on the horizon around him only, shed a tear, he can’t see the future with his lady friend. I guess this is where we’re supposed to feel sorry for him but, oddly, I don’t. In fact, my attention is drawn to the dude in the wheelchair, in one flashback, or flash-forward, who suddenly explodes into a million pieces with the bomb squad on hand to witness it.

From here we get some transition to tell us that this movie is being written by the same guy who penned MINORITY REPORT; from the look of things I would say that he wrote this while his skull was attached to a paint shaker because I can’t see anything that would tell me this was the same person.

We also get Nic playing the part of Multiple Man from X-3 and this is just an excuse, really, to say that you all need to look at that hairpiece he’s rockin’ because it is a few strands away from being a full-on mullet.

Ooo! You need to pay attention to when a sniper takes a shot at Nic and he ends up dodging the bullet and when he artfully gets on a knee to prevent himself from getting crushed by a car. You would have thought he went to the Keanu Reeves MATRIX School for Proper Bullet and Shrapnel Avoidance. It’s close to being the funniest thing I’ve seen yet this year.

This movie looks bad from any angle. And even I don’t need to pull a Ms. Cleo to look into the future to see what’s on the horizon for this film.

28 WEEKS LATER (2007)

Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Cast: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau, Catherine McCormack, Imogen Poots, Idris Elba, Mackintosh Muggleton
Release: May 11, 2007
Synopsis: Six months after the rage virus has annihilated the British Isles, the US Army declares that the war against infection has been won, and that the reconstruction of the country can begin. In the first wave of returning refugees, a family is reunited — but one of them unwittingly carries a terrible secret. The virus is not yet dead, and this time, it is more dangerous than ever.

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Positive. One of my very first writing gigs was for William Rainey Harper College.

It was a school newspaper and there wasn’t much I could do in the way of major features but I did have the chance to interview horror extraordinaire and lecturer David J. Skal about some of the ways horror films have evolved. One insight he had about the 50’s and 60’s is that the advent of the big headed alien in many genre pictures were really a function and a response to the ever increasing amount of information that people were experiencing; the physical reflected the zeitgeist. You can see these tropes playing themselves out especially well in George Romero’s work DAWN OF THE DEAD, the physicality of the indoor mall representing a larger theme of Americana and where consumerism was heading or it’s updated simulacrum DAWN OF THE DEAD where the zombies have a quickened pace. The latter really had people’s panties in a twist and I would argue that the notion of the fast moving zombie is really a reflection of how quick and instantaneous things have gotten over the past couple decades.

This is why 28 WEEKS LATER looks to rock your face off until it drips off the bone.

Now that we’ve got this argument out of the way the rest should be easy to swallow and why this trailer builds up so smoothly and satisfyingly.

The music’s perfect, no question; it’s tense, you can’t help but to feel uneasy as it plays out. The wide scenes evoke an uneasy peace even as you see trainloads of people pouring back into the city that was the basis for Cillian Murphy’s dong-bearing hell hole. The sniper’s view doesn’t help much but it’s wonderfully played for what it’s worth. The absence of Voiceover Guy is what keeps this from heading into awfulness.

A factoid that one of the re-populators, Andy, is the youngest settler seems odd if wasn’t revealed on purpose. The shot of burning bodies, the wholesale sterilization of people in HAZMAT outfits and the jiggling camera works real well here for reasons that other trailers that do this fail to evoke anything: you know something wicked this way comes.

The chunky guitar playing in the background, evoking something on the scale of a Nine Inch Nails instrumental, as Robert Carlyle, the toughest midget this side of Tom Cruise, is an excellent choice as a father who is dealing with taking care of his son in a wasteland of death, just sets up what’s coming like a coach putting a leather orb on a tee-ball stand for a 300lb home run hitter.

“Execute Code Red”

Now, I’m a fan of 1985’s RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, huge fan, and I appreciate the idea of its ending where modernity met zombie eradication: nuke “˜em. Here, though, it looks like things are going to get wicked violent with para-military folks going up against fast moving targets with zero prejudice.

The air horn going off, the music working its way into a crescendo, the pandemonium of a group of people who know exactly what’s coming, their immanent demise, and a nameless guy who puts out the order to “kill everyone.” Pandemonium reigns supreme and there is hardly any dependence on showing the zombies in any kind of glory; it’s all about the victims and it’s damn effective.

The napalm-like strike through the city, Carlyle running as fast as he can in what appears to be a greener than green meadow, and would be quite peaceful if he wasn’t being chased by violent corpses bent on chewing his flesh,

I’m already there and ready.

QSE News: 4/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:27 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgDanny Bonaduce’s wife has filed for divorce. Gretchen and Danny Bonaduce have been separated since April 9. The only statement Gretchen Bonaduce released stated “at some point, we all have to come to the realization The Partridge Family was a crappy show, no matter how hard you want it to be good.”
  • American author Kurt Vonnegut has passed away at the age of 84. Vonnegut, who wrote several classic books, such as Slaughterhouse-Five and Cat’s Cradle, had spent the last several weeks in the hospital as a result of a fall. It’s unclear whether or not the Tralfamadorians were involved with Vonnegut’s death.
  • The Don Imus radio show has been cancelled by CBS in the wake of racial and sexist remarks made by Imus in regards to the Rutgers women’s basketball team. Within minutes of Imus’s release from CBS, Fox News offered him a new home where he will “be free to continue the great work he’s been doing lately.”

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/13/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 12:00 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Maura Tierney Can’t Sleep with Dave Foley… (Thingamabob)
  • Just in time for the weekend, get some free love on that freelove freeway… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 12, 2007

QSE News: 4/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:21 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgTom Selleck, best known Magnum P.I., is in talks to become the leading man on the hit NBC show Las Vegas.  Selleck will be playing the owner of a casino in the city, filling in the void left by the departing James Cann.  Insiders are claiming that Selleck’s character will, in fact, be a ladies man despite the fact that he will be sporting his trademark “gay porn” moustache.
  • Michael Jackson has reportedly recruited rapper 50 Cent to help with Jackson’s upcoming album. The two will be collaborating on a song called “Trial of the Century” and will chronicle Jackson’s legal woes over the past several years. Insiders say that Jackson is excited to work with “Fitty” and hopes to learn all sorts of things from the rapper… like how to act like a man.
  • The Tennessee home of the late singer Johnny Cash has burned down.  The home, which Cash lived in till 2003, is currently owned by former Bee Gee singer, Barry Gibb. According to the police report, Gibb awoke with a Saturday night fever to discover a burning ring of fire in his bedroom.  Said Gibb, “I’m lucky to be stayin’ alive and that’s no jive talkin’.”
  • And fresh from his appearances on Smallville, actor Eric Johnson has signed on as the lead role in the SciFi Channel’s new Flash Gordon series, scheduled to debut this August. Johnson is excited to tackle the role, but expressed some concern as to how the show’s producers will get around his “no nudity clause” if he’s required to run around wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/12/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:16 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • Bugs & Elmer, shilling for Alpha-Bits… (Thingamabob)
  • Neil Cicierega, you frighten the bejeesus out of me… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 11, 2007

QSE News: 4/11/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:16 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgThe man, the myth, behind the popular Girls Gone Wild video catalog has been jailed in Panama City. Joe Francis was ordered to surrender himself and serve time for contempt of court after walking out of proceedings to settle a four-year-old lawsuit. Francis said he only left the court room because the lawyers and judges weren’t acting “sexy enough” and refused to “look like they wanted it.”
  • One of the stars of Scrubs is now a newlywed.  John C. McGinley, who plays Dr. Perry Cox on the hit show, married yoga instructor, Nichole Kessler, on Saturday.  When asked why he decided to marry Kessler, McGinley re-iterated, “She is a yoga instructor.  Perhaps you missed that?  I mean, you can’t begin to understand the positions we can do in bed.  It boggles the mind.”
  • Model/ Actress Elizabeth Hurley is facing a possible jail sentence for her elaborate wedding held last month in Jodhpur, India.  Indian officials claim that Hurley’s wedding to Arun Nyar mocked Hindu traditions and the couple could face up to three years in prison if found guilty.  Prosecutors were set to meet today to determine if being forever know as the woman that drove Hugh Grant to a transvestite is punishment enough.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/11/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 1:12 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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  • How about a little cut from Sweeney Todd? (Thingamabob)
  • I love a good Chilly Willy cartoon to get over an otherwise work-intense Wednesday… (Thingamabob)
  • And while we’re at it, let’s close with a Woody Woodpecker short… (Thingamabob)

Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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April 10, 2007

Rocky Horror Picture Show 3-D Poster

Filed under: Columns,Toy Box — admin @ 3:40 pm

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I attended college (the first time) from 1979 until 1983. Those of us that went to high school and college during the late 70’s and early 80’s got to see the birth of many modern concepts, including the concept of a ‘cult film’. It was during this period that being bad became good, and the worse, the better. But to label all cult films as bad would be incorrect – some just speak to us in a unique voice.

That’s where I’d put the father of all cult films, the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I remember going to the film in the late seventies, as it’s cult status was just starting to build. This was when you could still take in toilet paper, hot dogs and water guns, and theater owners were still surprised when members of the crowd rushed up to the screen during Susan Sarandon’s song. People went over and over again, not for the film alone (which is actually a pretty damn funny movie on it’s own), but for the crowd activities.

Rocky Horror Picture Show 3-D Poster

Mcfarlane Toys has added the classic iconic ‘lips’ poster to its series of 3-D movie posters. While this particular poster isn’t quite as complex as some others (I can’t wait to see how well they do with Robocop), it is certainly an image that is almost as famous as the film itself.

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Packaging – **1/2
The posters have been coming in slightly different packages, depending on the image. For example, the Nightmare On Elm Street package had a full plastic window over the front of the poster, protecting the fingers of Freddy’s hand. This time, there’s no window, just an exterior box around the shadow box of the poster. It protects the edges, but leaves the image itself open to touching. Somehow, that seems appropriate, if not particularly safe.

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Sculpting – ***1/2
Obviously, this is NOT a particularly complex poster to create. There’s a set of lips, and some words. Fortunately, both are done quite nicely.

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The lips are very impressive. The skin texture is excellent, and done in combination with the paint, is extremely life-like and realistic. The lettering is held out from the back of the shadow box with solid metal pegs, and have a bloody, drippy texture. Scale is good between the lettering and the rest of the poster, and it does look just like the original, white border and all. I’m particularly happy with the ones that use this shadow box treatment, rather than those (like the aforementioned NMOES) that are missing it.

Paint – ***
A great paint job was essential in capturing the very real appearance of the lips and teeth on the original poster. In that regard, they did an excellent job. The highlights and shadows are painted with such a convincing look that from more than a few inches away, you’ll swear they’re real. What you see in the photo is NOT due to my lighting, but rather due to the paint work on the lips, and it matches the look of the poster almost perfectly.

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Unfortunately, the general mechanical quality of the paint work doesn’t live up to the design. There’s red slopped down on the teeth, and the masking just isn’t as clean as you’d expect. From a slight distance the poster looks amazingly real, but on closer inspection the quality issues become more apparent.

Value – ***
At twenty bucks, you’re getting a solid value. These are large enough (around 13″ tall and 3″ deep or so…) that the stand out nicely on the wall, and make for an excellent media room or home theater decoration. This is one of those rare pop culture collectibles that’s cheap AND you’d be willing to have your in-laws see it.

Things to Watch Out For –
Pick out the one with the best paint ops, and pay particular attention to the work around the teeth.

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Overall – ***1/2
This isn’t my favorite of the overall line of posters, but it’s certainly a worthy buy. If you’re a huge fan of the film (and there are an awful lot of you still out there), then this is one of the better reasonably priced collectibles available, at least until Sideshow does a line of sixth scale figures (or a premium format Frank-N-Furter!).

Where to Buy –
There are plenty of online options:

Killer Toys has it available for $18.

– for the U.K. readers, Forbidden Planet has it for 20 pounds.

CornerStoreComics has him listed at $20.

Related Links –
I’ve reviewed several of the past 3-D posters, including Jaws and Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street.

QSE News: 4/10/2007

Filed under: Columns,News — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:40 am

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Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

  • qsnews.jpgRadio personality Don Imus is in trouble for racist remarks he made regarding the Rutgers University championship women’s basketball team. Last week Imus referred to the team as nothing more than “nappy-headed hos.” Imus apologized saying he was told by his staff that “nappy” meant skill-oriented women and “hos” meant basketball players who can’t dunk.
  • In a sad bit of news, the rock group Kiss lost on of its members last Thursday night. Guitarist Mark St. John, 51, died of an apparent brain hemorrhage. The news has left many Kiss fans with the same question: “Who the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] is Mark St. John?”
  • David Goyer has apparently recovered from his failed attempt to launch a Flash movie by wooing Warner Bros. to sponsor a Green Arrow film. The film will put Green Arrow behind bars where he will face super villains he captured. Goyer said he will play up the violence and play down the salad tossing and rusty tromboning.
  • And finally today, the stars of the TV show King of Queens have filmed their last episode of the show which is scheduled to air next month. The series is ending because star Kevin James has opted out of the show to pursue a feature film career and because the show’s writers have completely run out of ideas to explain away how a fat, goofy-looking and unfunny man could be married to such a hot piece of ass.

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That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 4/10/2007

Filed under: Columns,Thingamabobs — UncaScroogeMcD @ 2:30 am

thingamabobs.jpg

The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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